locoooxdoo

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

The circles I am going in over the 1 (one) extended interaction I have had with a str8 man in months is truly absurd guys

Like, asking for your number is str8 code for asking for your number, right? Which is something all people theoretically know even if it's couched in "so I could send you videos sometime or whatever" like sir I am queer but I know the code, and me GIVING him my number is essentially saying, "I am queer but I understand the code and this is me informing you that I am the flavor of queer that understands and is okay with this", right????

Does he understand that's what I was saying? Was that what HE was saying? Normally I'd be like it's not that deep bro but he STUMBLED his way into deconstructing GENDER ESSENTIALISM so I don't know!!! Maybe it IS that deep!!!

We had an hour long discussion about masculinity in star wars! He has said loudly, IN MY HEARING, several times, about AN EX. He wants to be a better ally to trans kids! He's a former marine! I'm going fucking insane! Our first conversation was about pokemon! He told me he was into sailor moon as a child! Regardless of his intentions I NEED to crawl into his brain for ACADEMIC REASONS and then he has the audacity to have the most fucking incomprehensible work schedule ever you know what I HOPE he is agonizing just as much over if I am the flavor of queer that is into guys as much as I am agonizing over if he is aware that I am the flavor of queer that is into guys because he deserves it. I'm offended. I think he might be a str8 who would laugh at str8 pride being the Kia summer sales event why was he allowed in my orbit

Do you know how many times I have thought the phrase "feminist research praxis" because of this man??? In like a good way? Well good on HIS part, making me realize I was NOT fully utilizing good feminist research praxis do you KNOW how upsetting this is but also making me proud on his behalf I am going insane I think I'm going to yell at him via text this will surely improve matters

can someone who understands human interaction please send help

[sinnohelitefourlore]

Sinnoh Gym Leader Headcanons Pt 1:

Roark:

- has a, dare i say, “rocky” relationship with his father. originally his father wanted riley to take over orebourgh’s gym, but since he rejected it roark was his second choice. he’s still kind of bitter over it and likes to rebel. (i.e “my dad told me not to do this” *does the thing directly after*)

- every fossil that the other miners find is double-checked by roark because he knows his shit.

- when he was in orebourgh trainer’s school he would be that kid moaning in the back of his class bc he thinks that’s peak comedy. also because he knows it’ll piss his dad off.

Gardenia:

- gardenia can interact with fantina’s ghosts without crying, and that’s it. one time, she tried to interact with cynthia’s spiritomb. it took the elite four and cynthia thirty minutes to calm the girl down.

- yes she loves plants but she’s also a piercer hear me out she can definitely do piercings she’d be that girl that gives other girls piercings in the school bathroom.

- is eterna’s local weed dealer. not as good as morty’s shit, but volkner tells her she’s getting there. cynthia definitely knows but looks the other way.

Maylene:

- maylene had her first kiss with aaron at age seven, as they were childhood friends. they both exclaimed “ew!” as soon as their lips touched.

- her mom left her when she was twelve bc of her dad’s gambling problem. her dad was never home which left her in the care of her grandmother. she’s angry over this. so, so angry. but cynthia tells her one day that she herself was raised by her grandmother, too – and look at her now: sinnoh’s champion. this inspires maylene to train harder.

- it was rumored in veilstone that maylene’s hands were made of pure steel which is why she could punch so hard. one time as if to prove this rumor, flint asked her to punch him in the stomach as hard as she could. the league had to shut down for the day as flint recovered in the hospital. it was awkward to explain to the doctors and nurses as to what happened. no, flint did not want to press charges but he’s terribly embarrassed. aaron tried to warn him, so he figures he deserved this outcome.

Crasher Wake:

- wake did wrestling shows that were in the style of a drama (think, WWE) and would come up with the most outrageous storylines.

- was the kid that beat up bullies at his trainer’s school bc “two against one isn’t fair” and, “pick on someone your own size.”

- frequently challenges byron and fantina to a drinking contest after gym hours, and he almost always loses. but when he wins, he’ll throw his hands up, and then promptly pass out.

Fantina:

- when she was ten, she marched up to her parents and told her that she wanted to be called “fantina” from now on. her parents welcomed their daughter with open arms.

- is Kalosian, which according to the sinnoh league members would explain why she can hold her liquor so well. she usually comes out on top in those drinking contests between wake and byron.

- is the most widely known coordinator around the world. you could go to an island with no electricity and the children and elders knew the name “fantina dumont.” if you were fortunate enough to go to one of her shows, you would see paramedics on standby because when she sent out her Drifblim a few people would pass out in awe, not fright.

Byron:

- before he married his wife: byron shot his friend in the ass with a BB gun by accident, went to hoenn with his buddies and they got kicked out from every single bar by staging fights so they wouldn’t have to pay for drinks, and swam from johto to kanto after he and his friends flipped a police car and were being chased. he drops random stories like this at league meetings and everyone stares in bewilderment – including his own son because what the hell dad wdym you dropped acid with the champion of Unova once???

- occasionally stars as a guest in one of wake’s wrestling shows. they play lovers having a quarrel before wake tackles the shit out of him.

- during canalave’s yearly pride parade he is the one giving dad hugs because “even when i was a kid, men have always had men… y’know, i had a buddy once, back in the mines… and he was a little off to the side, but he was damn good with a pickaxe. had a beer with his husband once.”

Candice:

- snowpoint city in the sinnoh region is known as the “home of the yodelers.” on top of being the gym leader, candice is the best damn yodeler that snowpoint has ever seen.

- she also had a reputation as a little girl for throwing snowballs at visitors from another region before declaring sinnoh was the best.

- if you want gossip, candice will spill all the details. she knows everything about everyone. no one is more up to speed about who’s-sleeping-with-who, who-cheated-on-who, and how Stacy Cambridge from her trainer school definitely got a nose job and yes, it’s definitely noticeable. no one really asks for her gossip, but she blabs it at the league meetings anyway.

Volkner:

- smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. one time to be cheeky at a league meeting he lights one up, therefore cynthia threw him out – which was what he wanted so thank you cynthia.

- has been on so many fucking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds throughout his life that he’s basically an expert on them. a lot of the younger gym leaders and elites (i.e gardenia, aaron, candice, roark, and maylene) are depressed and/or anxious and lets them know his own experiences with meds.

- when he was a kid, though he wasn’t a sunyshore hoodlum, he did learn how to use a pocket knife. not that he ever needed it since he had a pikachu to thunderbolt the motherfuckers if he wanted to.

[midnightsconspiracy]

Rumour Has It

Rumour Has It - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: The nurses at Chicago Med always had a way of finding things out, this time it's your new relationship with Dr Connor Rhodes

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1268

Requested: No but my inbox is still open

A/N: This is my first fic with the new characters I have introduced to my writing so I hope you enjoy it!!

Masterlist

The nurse's station was a hub for gossip. Every day a new rumour was spreading like wildfire as each nurse relayed to one another what news they had overhead previously that day. Today’s news though was one that hit particularly close to home, the revelation that you and the infamous Dr Rhodes were newly dating. But there was more to it than that.

It had started a couple of months ago when you had first joined, transferring from a much quieter hospital, not used to the hustle and bustle that Chicago Med experienced. Just minutes after you were introduced to your fellow nurses, work was suddenly thrust upon you, a GSW rolling through the ambulance bay going straight to Baghdad. Maggie was quick to assign you and another nurse to the case, wanting you to start in the deep end to prepare you for what was to come. Stripping the man down of his clothing to allow for a full assessment of his injuries, the doctor finally joined you in order to get the treatment underway. Throughout the process you were ordered by the doctor to perform multiple tasks, you and the other nurse, who you had learned earlier was named April, trying to do as much as possible to save this mans life. Sending him up to surgery, the doctor called April to run tests, leaving you to clean up the mess left behind. Expecting to be left by yourself, you turned around you noticing the handsome male doctor staring at you, a frown plastered on his face. As he noticed you looking back, he unfocused his eyes, looking down awkwardly as he knew you had caught him.

“Sorry I didn't mean to stare, I just didn’t recognise you,” he justified.

“No it’s ok, I just started today, my names Y/N Y/LN,” you nervously replied, know the doctors at your old hospital always thought of themselves as superior.

“It's nice to meet you, I’m Dr Rhodes, but please call me Connor.” Smiling, he reached his hand out for you to shake.

“It's nice to meet you to-“ you muttered, attempting to reply, instead being interrupted by the doctor being called to another emergency. Beaming at you as he left, you continued on with your job swooning over your new colleague.

As the weeks passed, you continued to develop a relationship with the surgeon, spending your free time in the nurse's station with him, laughing and talking about all things except work. The more you talked to him the more you trusted him, both at work and socially. Becoming the new doctor and nurse duo after April and Ethan, it became common knowledge that if he was called to treat a person it was guaranteed you would be there alongside him. He just made coming to work a lot more enjoyable, always looking forward to your lunch breaks where you would both head down to the canteen and chat the time away until one of you was called back up or your break ended. The conversations in the beginning always seemed friendly with no sign of anything else, but as your friendship developed, the two of you started to get more and more flirty. It began as compliments, telling each other they looked good that day or how well they had done at work, but as time went on, everything you said to one another was sexually charged. You enjoyed that style of talking with him though, believing there was no harm in it, especially as you found him attractive. But alas, as you conversed each day more and more you gradually gained feelings for him.

Never in a million years though would you have guessed that the feelings you held were requited. Finding out through the grapevine of gossiping nurses that had overheard Dr Rhodes talking with a fellow doctor that he had started to catch feelings also. You’d blushed when April had told you what everyone was talking about, denying it to her, thinking how could an attractive, rich surgeon like himself possible want a boring nurse like you? But despite your protests, April convinced you to talk to him about it, knowing you would be dwelling on this for the rest of the night if you didn’t confront him about it. Although you weren’t technically allowed in the doctor's lounge, Maggie made an exception for you, secretly shipping the couple herself, as she saw a perfect opportunity for you two to talk alone. Walking towards the room, you slowly opened the door, nervous for the conversation you were about to have, what if he shunned you and turned you down?

“Hey, Connor?” You asked, standing as far away as possible from him, playing with your hands to combat the nerves.

“Hey Y/N, I was just about to head out, want to go grab a drink, something to eat?” He replied, not looking at you as he focused on putting his coat on.

“Um that sounds great, but I wanted to talk to you about something first”

“Go on,” at this point he was looking you dead in the eyes, adding to your already nervous disposition.

“I’ve just been hearing some chatter amongst the others.”

“Well you know what the other nurses are like, always gossiping about one thing or another,” he brushed off, knowing those pesky nurses always like to stir up trouble with what they were saying.

“I know but that’s not the point, the things they were saying were about us, well more specifically you”

“Ok?” He questioned, he’d had them comment on him before, usually, it was about things in his personal life that were irrelevant to them, but other times of his actions in the ED. But this he was baffled by, what had he done involving you that could result in being the talk of the town.

“They were saying that you liked me, Connor”

“Of course I do, you’re my friend,” not knowing how to say it any more clearly, you resulted in just flat out telling him, you had nothing to lose at this point, being too far gone in the conversation.

“No, I mean like….romantically”

“Why don’t we get dinner, talk about this further?” He suggested, walking towards you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you proceeded to nod.

That night had led to a lot more than a confession, seeing as you both had feelings, it felt only natural to take things further. With lots of nights after experiencing the same events as that first one, both of you so grateful for the fact you had met. He had completely swept you off your feet, loving nothing more than spending an evening after work snuggled up to your beloved doctor after a nice home-cooked meal, trashy tv in the background, as you just took in the feeling of being with each other. Finally, after months of working together, he had asked you out, making a grand gesture out of it, taking you to some fancy restaurant and giving you a gift that was far too expensive, insisting you took it after you refused to. Not wanted to go public about it just yet, you kept your interactions at work to a minimum, the only people knowing being April and Maggie. But as you told them, they told others and the others told more people, leading to almost all the staff knowing about your so called ‘secret’ relationship. That was how you got to the present, walking into work being bombarded by questions from those prying nurses who had just loved the rumours of the ED.

[cuddlesslut]

Live my Life Ch.1

Kuroo x fem reader

Summary: sometimes life is full of making the wrong choices and not knowing till it’s to late.

A/N: this is chapter one of my new story. I’m still writing the Home series I must really wanted to start this story as well. I hope you guys like this one.

Warning: Angst, Smut, Drunk Sex, Underage drinking, toxic behavior

You found yourself sitting in this dingy bar nursing a drink you weren’t supposed to have. This had become part of your routine. It all started about three weeks ago. Your friend Kana, or well you suppose she could be called a friend she was more of a friend of a friend. She seemed nice enough kind of the free spirit type of girl always into the new big trend, not really what you would describe yourself as, more of what you wanted to be. You weren’t exactly some shy shut in but still your anxieties held you back from charging head first into in life and taking the bull by the horns. That’s why you surprised even yourself when you offered to be Kana’s bar buddy.

Kana is bartender at this whole in the wall bar with dim lighting. It got fairly good business but not enough to warrant more than one bartender at a time. That being the case Kana would often be there by herself well late into the night, the neighborhood wasn’t horrible but it still was unsettling sometimes. So as her bar buddy you would come at some point in her shift and find a free seat at the bar hopefully far enough distance from any other patrons. You’d order some fries or whatever greasy snack food you craved and waited there with her while she worked until she was ready to lock up. It was pretty easy you’d just sit there offering her someone to talk when she was bored or when she need to escape some overbearing customers. She’d make her way over too you and pretend to make you a drink. Although she offered you a drink you usually turn her down for the clear fact that you were underage when it came to drinking. It was perfectly fine for you to sit in the establishment since it also served food but at the age of 18 drinking was still prohibited. Being the laid back girl and bartender she was Kana didn’t care about bending that rule for a friend.

Most nights you’d pull out some school work on your tablet that your carried with you or just read some stories on your phone. Usually trying your best to avoid conversation with the regulars. That didn’t work as well as you hoped and soon enough you were quickly learning all of the local gossip and being included in the group known as the regulars. Which is what you were since you found yourself here four nights out of you week. You didn’t mind spending so much of your time here with Kana it was kind of nice to stray from your comfort zone plus you and Kana were steadily getting closer as friends too. Everything was smooth sailing until you met him.

It was a usual Thursday night you got dressed in your causal but sleek outfit. Wearing a comfortable pair of Jeans that hugged your body nicely not too tight but still showed your curves. You paired it with a black blouse and black ankle boots. You freshened up your make up of the day not needing to try to hard seeing as you weren’t going there to impress anyone. In fact you preferred to not draw any attention. Your brushed through your hair finally heading out of your home and too the dingy bar. Things seemed a little off tonight some felt different but still you took your usual seat as you scanned the bar. It was fairly empty only two other customers sitting all the way at the other end of the counter. Kana wasn’t anywhere to be found, she’s probably just grabbing something back you reasoned. And sure enough you could hear a clang in the back of the establishment that was hidden from the public eye. Although it wasn’t Kana that popped around the corner. Instead stood a tall and extremely handsome guy. He was wild black hair that was strewn in a chaotic fashion but it suited him. You could tell by his physique that he was fit , not too overly muscular but when he reached up to put the box he was carrying on the top shelf you could see a peak of a very well defined v line on his tanned skin. This man was the definition of tall, dark ,and handsome. And that wasn’t even mentioning his intense honey eyes that felt like they pierced your soul with just one look. He wore a black pair of fitted jeans and a red button up with strange print on it. You could inspect the odd design more intensely as he approached you with a smirk plastered on his face. Ah they were little black cats that littered his print. The style screamed I’m stylish but quirky.

“Well hello there sweetheart how can I help you?” You could tell he was using his customer service persona. Ah he goes for the smooth talkng flirt, he probably does very well with middle aged woman, you think.

“Um yeah,” you state giving the room one more look “ do you know where Kana is?” You questioned.

His perked at the mention of your friend. You could see him relax a little as he released some tension rolling his shoulders back. “Ahh you must be YN,” he smiled placing his hands on the bar leaning forward. His voice was a notch higher no longer Using his deep Casanova tone, this one was more natural. You eyes widened at the sound of your name leaving his lips.

“Yeah,” you replied hesitant.

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou,” he presented his hand offering a firm shake to which you awkwardly accepted. “I’m guessing Kana forgot to inform you that id becoming back to work my usual Thursday shift today did she?” He let out a small chuckle.

Damn it Kana you cursed inside your mind. You could have been cozy in bed right now. “Ha nope she did not,” you let out a sigh. “I didn’t realize she was just covering these last few weeks” you respond.

“She just had my Thursday shift Mondays and Wednesdays are still her regular days.” He grinned “she was nice enough to take my shift while I was out with some family stuff.”

“Ahh I see, well I’ll should probably get out of your hair,” you stated starting to slide off the stool.

“Hey wait you came all the way out here let me get you a drink,” he offered.

You froze in your seat for a moment kind of embarrassed. You felt heat creep to your face as you respond “ oh umm I’m not actually old enough I’m only 18,” your eye locked on the surface in front of you.

He let out a chuckle “let me see your ID.”

Your face scrunched in confusion “but-” you start but he cuts you off.

“Shh just hand it over,” he smiles. You raise your eyebrow as you reach into your handbag fishing out your ID and handing it over. He backs upmholding it as though it was valid. “Well look at that! Sure enough you’re 20,” he gives a cheeky smile “so what can I get you to drink?”

You take back your card placing it back safely in your bag a look of shock present on your youthful features. You lean forward whispering “won’t you get in trouble!” Not wanting to have someone risk their job. He lets out a haughty laugh. “My dads the owner so I’m not too worried.” He stated cockily. “So again what are you drinking sweetheart?” Again he flashed that stupid smirk that sent your stomach doing flips.

After two drinks and some idle chit chat in his free time you decided it probably be best if you headed out. He was quick to stop you. “Ahh come on dont leave so soon I was hoping you’d be my bar buddy too,” he pouted. You rolled your eyes at his teasing. It was enough to keep you there though ordering another drink to nurse. It felt nice chatting and casually flirting with this attractive stranger.

This too became part of your routine. You still went to the bar during Kana’s shift to keep her company but you kept going on Thursday and spending you night talking to Kuroo. The both of you spending most of the night getting to know each other. It was just surface things like school, you found out he was two years older than you going to a university near by studying chemical engineering,and your taste in music which was something you had a lot in common. The conversation focused mainly on you. He always directed the flow of the conversation he was so out going and smooth, always asking questions about your day liked hearing about your day as if being a 3rd year in high school was the most exciting thing. You’d sit there for hours with him trying new drinks sometimes finding yourself leaving the bar at three am as if you didn’t have class in four hours. But you didn’t care it was exhilarating this was the most rebellious thing you had ever done. The flirting was harmless never going to far. And although you wouldn’t admit you were getting a crush on the raven haired bartender.

It was just another Wednesday night but today something inside of you told you to dress up more than you’d usually go for. Tonight you wore a simple black dress with a deep neckline that really showed your figure without being to flashy. Your period had recently finished so knowing you were securely dried up you decided to go for a pair of your fancy red lace panties and a matching bra that always boosted your confidence. Not that anyone would be seeing them. You checked yourself one last time before heading out to the bar and damn did you look hot.

When you entered the bar you were surprised to it was rather busy with customers all over the place, luckily you find a seat at the bar. You noticed that Kenma was also behind the bar. Kenma was the other bartender that worked the shifts opposite of Kana and Kuroo. He was also Kuroo’s best friend. You’ve only met him a couple times when he’d come to the bar to see Kuroo while he was on shift. It must be really busy if they called him in to work the bar with Kana.

Kana gave a sigh of relief and smiled as she saw you sitting at the bar. “Oh my god girl hey,” smiled “do you see how hectic it is?” She laughed. She took a moment to fully look you over her eyes wide.

“Damn girl you look fucking hot!” You felt some pride grow in you hearing your friend complement you. She always looked amazing so hearing that she thought you looked great felt like high praise.

“You want a drink babe?” She asked although it was more a of statement as she was already whipping together a drink before you were finished nodding. She handed you a strong yet sweet drink before she was whisked away by some needy patrons.

You sipped on your drink watching Kana handle the crowd. You and Kenmas eyes would lock every now and then but it’s very short and awkward. You don’t know him very well. Part of your anxieties had you convinced he didn’t like you. But you tried not to read into it to much. Kuroo had told you once that it was just that he wasn’t much of a people person only working at the bar as a favor to Kuroo and his father. You sit there silently observing the world around you not noticing someone taking the seat next to you.

“Boo,” a husky voiced whispered into your ear sending shivers down your spine. Kuroo cackled as you jumped turning around clutching your chest.

“What the hell Kuroo!” You gasped trying to steady your breathing. “They call you in too?” You ask referring to the booming business you sat in.

“Nah it’s my day off and I wanted to come have a drink and bug Kenma,” he rose his hand singling said man for a drink. “But looks like I lucked out now I get to bother you all night,” he smirked.

“Oh really and who said I want to have you around I deal with you enough on Thursdays,” you smiled back with a sly look.

He feigned a look of hurt. “Ouch YN you wound me, I thought we were friends,” giving you look that definitely didn’t come off as just friendly. You just roll your eyes trying to hide your intrigue. “Well it seems I need to prove my friendship to you let me by you a drink.” He rested his hand on yours as he signaled for a refill on your drink.

You should have seen it coming but you acted surprised when after several drinks and a couple rounds of shots you found yourself in the back seat of his car. Your red panties tossed to the side somewhere in the vehicle. You were laying back as he dove under the hem your dress. Kuroo looked up to your face his lips barley an inch away from your heat. He had a devious look on his face as he watched your face flush with need. Your lips were swollen from the heated make out sessions you had outside the bar. He quirked his eyebrow teasingly his heavy breath tickling you. He was waiting. It was almost tortuous but you knew what he wanted.

You pouted your chest rising and falling from your hard breathing. “Please!” You begged. He smiled content with hearing your pleas before diving into you his tongue lapping at your wet folds. Your head fell back in pleasure as he ate you out like a man starved. Your moans filled the car as he worked his skilled tongue in and out of you. He could feel how close you were as he felt you clench around his fingers as he worked you loose. Relief flooded your body as you came on his face. Lust still flooding you as you watched him lick up all your juices. He moved up your body sealing your lips into a searing kiss you could taste your essence on his lips.

Your hands reached down his body grabbing at his bulge. He let out a groan in your ear before picking you up and placing you on his lap. He attacked you neck nippping and sucking harsh purple marks into your skin. He pulled the collar of your dress down pulling your breast out . Moving your bra down he latched his lips around your swollen nipple rolling it between his teeth. You let out a pained moan as you rolled you hips into his lap. He finally hit limit. He lifted you up as he pulled his pants and boxers down before lining his achingly hard length with your wet cunt before pulling you down on it. Both of your groans filled the space as you felt him fill you whole. You hid your face in his neck as you panted while he let you adjust to the intrusion. You could feel his hands roaming your ass pushing the skirt of your dress up. A sudden smack came to your ass. You let out a hiss. He rubbed the mark he left on your soft skin.

“Go ahead sweetheart ride my cock,” he demanded. His dirty words sent shivers over body. You did just as he said starting to move your hips up and down rotating on his dick as it reached deep inside of you. Your body was already on edge from your earlier release so it took no time to have you clenching tightly around him you next orgasm fastly approaching.

“Fuck you’re so god damn tight,” he groaned. Lust took over as he grabbed your hips holding you still as he drilled up into your pliant body. Your moans egged him on as he chased both of your climaxes. He loved the feeling of your pussy clamping down on him. Feeling you milk his cock drained him of his will and of his semen as he came deep into you.

You both sat there for a moment both coming down from your highs. Bodies worn from the intense session you had just had. He groaned throughing his head back, “fuck I didn’t wear a condom,” he cursed.

“I’m on birth control” you breathed moving off his lap. You searched for your panties sliding them on quickly trying to contain the mess between your legs.

“Good, that’s good,” he breathed a sigh of relief he looked around both of you. It seemed no one notice dyour little drunken romp in the parking lot. There was a slight awkward pause neither knowing what to say.

“Well that was great,” he offered, “uhh do you need a ride home?” He questioned.

You shook your head, “no I’ll just grab a quick Uber home,” you respond pulling your phone out to do just that.

He nodded seeming to like that idea not wanting you to walk home. “I’ll probably head back in and sober up a little before heading home. I definitely can’t drive right now. I’m not even sure my legs will get me back inside,” he laughed. You giggled as well. A chime rang from your phone, your ride would be pulling up soon.

“Hey give me your number and message me when you get phone safe.” He said taking the phone to send a message to himself successfully trading numbers. He gave you one more deep kiss before you left to catch your Uber.

That night your body passed out exhausted. You knew you were going to regret drinking so much tomorrow morning when you have to wake up for class.

And damn was your body sore. Your head was ponding from all the alcohol and the rest was sore from the wild sex you had. Still you woke up bright and early making sure to shower off any evidence from your delinquent activities. You made sure to take some Advil before leaving for school opting to skip breakfast since your stomach was still unstable from the liquor. Your morning classes were relatively easy not but extremely boring. You found yourself daydreaming through most of your history class thinking back to your night with Kuroo. Little fantasys of dates, and more long talks at the bar, even some naughty ideas popped into your head. It was almost like you willed him into existence because not two seconds later your phone vibrated. Your heart skipped a beat seeing his name pop up in your notifications. You laughed at the way he saved his number last night. Oh my god he texted me you thought you were so giddy. That was until you read the messages.

Kuroo 🥵: Hey YN.

Kuroo 🥵: Last night was a Mistake. Look I have a girlfriend and I love her so I think it’s best we pretend last night never happened. Sorry.

Ouch. That hurt.

General Taglist: @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @graykageyama

Taglist: @captain-janeway @elianetsantana

[leximus98]

Airborne All The Way - Dick Winters x OC

Summary: Memories are fleeting. Charlie knows if she doesn’t get them all down, and soon, they’ll be gone. War, love, loss... she wanted to write it all down for future generations to come.

Charlie Finnegan had been a nurse before the war. After Pearl Harbor, she felt the same call to arms that many men felt. When Elanor Roosevelt started a program where women could join the Army on a trial basis, Charlie jumped on it. She became an officer and volunteered for the Airborne. Along the way she met Harry Welsh and the ever calm and collected Richard Winters. Through trial and error, Charlie gains the respect of her men, but can she gain the eye of a certain red haired officer?

A/N: So, I haven’t posted anything original in a long time. But I’ve had a really good idea for a story and I wanted to share it. I hope everyone likes it. It’s gonna be multi-chapter, this is just chapter one. Lemme know what you think!

Warnings: None

Tag List: If you’d like to be tagged, lemme know!

Word Count: 1824

Chapter One

“Why would you want to join the Airborne?”

It was a question I was asked frequently. In the early days, I would answer by saying, “It’s new!” or “It’s exciting!”

The answer changed over time though. When I was in the 82nd, I told people that it was to prove that girls could do it too. When they shipped me over to the 101st, I found a new answer. One I didn’t expect I’d find. But I found it in Easy Company.

“Because they’re my family. I would do anything for them.”

Of course that answer came more easily after D-Day. I hadn’t truly earned the respect of the men until that day, even though I grew to love them before then.

It all started one warm, wet afternoon.

Lieutenant Harry Welsh and myself had just been sent over from the 82nd. We were going to fill the positions of platoon leaders. Harry would be taking over first platoon and I would be taking over second.

As we walked by all of the soldiers, they were sitting around in their dress uniforms, waiting for the train. Their initial training and airborne training had been completed. Now they were going to be shipped off to either Europe or Asia to fight in the war. Battalion Intelligence hadn’t told anybody where we were going or which war we would be fighting. It was all a surprise, but for good reason. If word slipped out to the wrong people, it would be devastating.

Harry and I were told to find First Lieutenant Richard Winters. He was the Executive Officer of Easy Company. I’d heard of Dick Winters from friends of mine, he was good at his job and cared for his soldiers. I would be glad to be working under somebody like him. But I had also heard rumblings about the company’s Commanding Officer, Captain Herbert Sobel. He was sadistic towards his company and from what Harry and I heard, he was jumpy in the field. Too eager, not patient, and got people notionally killed in training exercises.

After walking down the line of barracks, and catching more than one lingering glance from the soldiers, Harry and I found the officers barracks. We walked inside and were met with two lieutenants.

Richard Winters was tall, lyth, pale, and had the brightest shock of red hair I had ever seen. His eyes were a soft blue and he held himself properly. Like he was important, but not stuck up. He looked over at us and I gave him a soft smile from behind Harry.

Lewis Nixon was behind him. His hair was thick, black, and styled perfectly. There wasn’t a single thread out of place on his uniform and he gave us a sly smile.

“Are we interrupting?” Harry asked.

“No, not at all. Lieutenant Lewis Nixon, Lieutenant Harry Welsh and Charlie Finnegan, just in from the 82nd,” Winters introduced.

Harry went to shake Nixon’s hand and I followed suit behind him.

“A WAC?” Nixon asked.

“Not a day in my life,” I smiled cheekily.

“Alright then. Well you’ll learn him pretty quickly,” Nixon said, smiling at Winters. “No flaws, no vices, no sense of humor.”

I smiled and looked at Winters who gave me a quick side look and smirked, “Just like your chums up at Battalion Staff?”

“So what’s up?” Winters asked.

I sighed heavily and scratched the back of my neck, “We’ve been hearing a lot of rumblings…”

“Sobel?” Nixon asked.

Harry nodded.

“We were just talking about that,” Nixon said.

The four of us moved closer together so as not to be overheard.

“He gets a little jumpy in the field?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, he gets jumpy and you get killed,” Nixon said.

“Oh, that’s nice,” I chuckled.

“I think if we talk about it, it should just be amongst ourselves,” Winters interjected.

“Alright, absolutely,” Harry said.

From behind us, I heard a heavy foot slam on the wooden step of the barracks. As if in slow motion, I watched Winters turn and snap to attention. Harry and I turned around fast and snapped to attention too. Standing in the doorway was Captain Sobel.

He stood there for an agonizing moment, just staring at all of us, like he knew we were talking about him. His eyes continued to linger on me when he started talking.

“Second Platoon ready?” he asked.

“Ready, Sir,” Winters said.

“Then get them ready, we’re moving out,” Sobel ordered.

“Yes, Sir,” Winters said.

Harry moved first, walking quickly past Sobel who didn’t move from the doorway, Winters followed, and I moved after Winters. Sobel shifted towards the open space so I had to turn more sideways to get out of the door. I felt his eyes burning into me and cleared my throat when I was outside. I glanced back while following Winters and caught Nixon’s eye. He winked at me and gave me a soft smile but quickly lost it when Sobel turned back to him.

“Finnegan, make sure your men are good to go,” Winters said.

“Yes, Sir!”

“Sergeant Lipton!” I called out as I saw the man walking by the cattle trucks.

“Yes, Ma’am?” he asked as I jogged up to him.

“Everyone is good? We’re about to roll out,” I told him.

Staff Sergeant Carwood Lipton was a nice guy. He had been kind to me since I first addressed their platoon and I assume he made the men keep their comments about a female platoon leader at bay. I wasn’t particularly popular at the moment, due to the fact that I had boobs. I didn’t blame them, I had to prove myself to them as a leader. That I could do everything they could do as a female.

“Yes, Ma’am. We’re supposed to be loading the train by platoon but, well, you know how it goes,” I smiled.

“Of course. Just try to keep them in line as much as you can. Captain Sobel is walking around,” I smiled back.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

I watched him walk off and I started in my own direction, but slowed down next to a group of men who were sitting in a small circle.

“Who? Sobel?” I heard Joe Liebgott ask. “He screwed up one manuever.”

“Yeah,” Cobb said.

“Well, you know I’m always fumbling with grenades. It would be easy if one went off by accident you know,” Liebgott said, smirking darkly.

“Well, now they must have put him in charge for a reason,” Shifty Powers said.

I smiled at his innocence.

“Yeah, cause the army wouldn’t make a mistake like that, right Shift?” Liebgott asked.

The group chuckled and I cleared my throat, standing behind Joe Toye with my hands in my pockets. Their heads snapped up to look at me.

“Now gentlemen, I do believe if you’re gonna say things like that? Maybe you shouldn’t do it out in the open. The Good Captain is out and about,” I said the last part sarcastically and smirked.

They all looked back at each other. I could tell that they were embarrassed to have been caught. I gave them a quick, “Just be careful” and walked off.

The train was uncomfortable. I sat next to Winters at an angle that had my head against the window and my feet on the other side of Harry who had his feet half on my lap and half on the seat between me and the wall.

“How’s your time in Easy going?” Winters asked me quietly so as not to wake up Harry.

“Well, it’s certainly not Easy,” I giggled. “It’s just gonna take the men some time to get used to taking orders from a girl. It was an issue for a short amount of time at the old unit too. I’m not too worried about it.”

“How did you get them to respect you?” Winters asked, putting his letter down and giving me his full attention.

“It was a training jump that went bad. I had dropped close to the injured soldier. He was screaming and screaming and screaming. It’s a sound that doesn’t quiet leave you. Anyway, he had landed wrong and broken both of his legs. I did my best to splint both of them with what I had and carried him to the rendezvous point.”

“You carried a broken soldier, both of you in full pack, four miles?” Winters asked, a look of amazement on his face.

“Ah, don’t give me that much credit. I dropped our parachutes and most of the gear we were carrying. Just our packs and weapons went with.”

It looked like he was about to say something else, but Nixon came up behind us.

“Goin my way?” he asked Winters.

“Wherever the train takes me,” Winters answered.

“Yeah, c’mon, take a guess! Atlantic? Pacific? Atlantic?”

“I think Nixon is saying without saying we’re going to the Atlantic,” I smirked.

“Well, we aren’t intelligence officers,” Winters said.

“Mmm, as such, I know, of course,” Nixon said, smiling.

He moved from his seat behind Winters to the seat next to Harry. I crossed my arms and watched him. He looked like the cat who caught the canary. A wide, mischievous grin on his face, and a spark in his eyes.

“If I told ya, I’d have to kill ya,” he said quietly.

“Then don’t tell us,” Winters said.

Nixon leaned in close and smiled again, “New York, troop ship, England. We’re invading Europe my friends.” Nixon pulled a flask from his back pocket and raised it in a toast style. “Fortress Europa!”

Nixon offered the flask to Winters who raised an eyebrow at him, “Since when do I drink?” he asked.

“If I knew you’d take it, I wouldn’t have offered,” Nixon smirked. “You?”

He offered me the flask and I shook my head no.

“Two non-alcoholic officers? That’s not good karma,” Nixon said.

“Hah, it’s not that I don’t drink, I just prefer mine mixed in soda, or in the fermented fruit variety,” I laughed.

“Uh-huh,” Nixon said, taking a pull from the flask.

“Nix?” Winters asked. “What are you gonna do when you get into combat?”

“Oh, I have every confidence in my scrounging abilities,” Nixon said, looking out the window. “And I have a case of Vat 69 in your footlocker.”

Nixon leaned back and laughed. Winters smiled for a minute and then it fell from his face when Nixon didn’t say anything to counter what he had said.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.”

Before Winters could say anything, Harry popped his head up from the seat and looked at the three of us. He had one eye closed and the other squinted, barely coming to.

“Morning!” Nixon said, handing Harry the flask.

“Mm, ya’know, this could turn into a real nice trip,” Harry said, drinking from the metal container.

I scoffed a little bit and shook my head. It was going to be interesting to say the least.

[fromkenari]

I don’t know who needs to see this, but any mental health site advertisement that mentions giving you immediate access to medication is not the site you want for mental health advice.

Furthermore, playing video games for 12 hours at a time does not mean you have ADHD. Zoning out at work does not mean you have ADHD. Forgetting your mom’s birthday does not mean you have ADHD. Most things people contribute to ADHD is not ADHD but stress response and can be helped by a licensed therapist for a fraction of the cost of a psychiatrist who is not a therapist. Stop seeking medication you don’t need.

This also goes for people who are “kinda OCD.” No, you’re just kinda stressed.

Get a therapist. I can recommend some sites. Yes, there are sites that take Medicaid and/or Medicare. Yes, they have payment plans. THE MOST I have paid for an hour of therapy is $25 out of pocket and insurance covered the rest. The most in upfront costs I’ve seen for clinical psychologist is $150 an hour. Feel free to hop around on therapist. It took me a while to find a good one who was my “style” as I call it. Also, if you have resources in your area for counseling, use them! I have a counselor, a therapist, and a psychiatrist as well as many other non-mental health doctors. Falling off the face of the earth with no one checking on YOU is a trip you do not want to take. I’ve been there and somehow I survived, but I honestly don’t know how.

I do not recommend going to Nurse Practitioners for your medication, if you need medication, that is. They have been Bad News Bears for me and one caused me to have a mental breakdown because she kept pushing pills at me. Go to a Psychiatrist who specializes in what the clinical psychologist (aka The Therapist) has diagnosed you with. Prioritize a good fit over a good price when you go to a psychiatrist. The first year or two on meds can be rough but generally speaking, there should be no reason to see your psychiatrist every month, period. Medications generally take 6-8 weeks to even work. If you need immediate assistance, do a phone consult. If they will not do a phone consult or have no emergency number for after hours, keep looking for a doctor. You can expect them to be pricier than the therapist, HOWEVER, a med check or even a med switch should only be a half hour. Your first visit WILL be an hour, but after that you should be fine with half hours because you’re still seeing the therapist, right? Once you have a set regimen of medication you only need to see the psychiatrist a max of 4 times a year but that does NOT mean you should stop seeing your therapist either. Most of what you learn should come from your therapist.

Also, group therapy is actually great but if you aren’t feeling a group after a month or two, switch! For the love of your soul, switch! And do not be afraid to report other members for being bullies when the therapist is not around. I had a huge problem with this when I was in intensive therapy. Also, you’re going to hear some shit in group therapy. Heck, you might be the one saying it. It’s okay. They’re not allowed to take it away from the group without being kicked from the group. In fact, most of my group therapies, the therapist has told me I’m not even allowed to acknowledge why I know a person outside of group therapy because they may be attending in secret. Also, don’t become besties with someone in your group. I’ve seen that go really bad. Being acquaintances and even friends is fine, but one of the main points of therapy is learning to set boundaries and saying “no” so you have to be careful if you decide to let a friendship develop outside of group.

If you are ever at a point that you feel like the only way you can keep from hurting yourself is to have someone watching you, go to the ER or call 911. Don’t think about money. Your life is worth more than the money, no matter what you’re telling yourself. In fact, it’s a law that they cannot charge you for the stay if you’re uninsured and make less than $25k a year. Also, it’s absolutely illegal for them to dump you out if you are not stable after a 72-hour hold.

What can you expect in a 72-hour hold? Your phone and any devices will be taken away. Anything you could possibly injure yourself with will be taken away. This includes things like shoe strings and hoodie strings which is why they typically have you put on a gown and footies and put you in a bed. They are not going to strap you to a bed for a 72 hour hold if you walk in off the street so put that out of your mind right now. They may put in an IV for fluids because most people who come in for holds are not taking care of themselves. They will check on you and your vitals a lot. It can feel constant, especially if you, like most people, walk yourself in there after hours.  Yes, there will be people there who are worse off than you but don’t worry about them. Worry about you. No one will be allowed to see you. Why? Because the point of the hold is to get you stable. They don’t know why you’re not stable so a person who is inquiring about you could be the reason you’re there. You will also be asked every time someone inquires about you if you want them to know you are there, you can say no. You additionally have the option to not tell them why you’re in the hospital if you do decide to let them know you’re there. You’ll be filling out surveys either orally or by hand which can be overwhelming but I promise the point is to figure out what’s been happening that led to mental instability. Yes, you will see a doctor. Yes, you may be given meds, usually something to help you sleep and calm you down. Yes, you will likely see a case worker who is generally a social worker and you will be asked many questions about your living situation, how things are at work, how things are with family, etc. These people all want to help you not villainize you so answer them the best you can. They are not going to call the cops. You will likely be recommended to a therapist or facility for further treatment after your 72 hour stay.

I’ve been doing this song and dance since the early 00s. I’ve had more terrible therapists and doctors with good intentions than I care to list. This is why, when you find an actual good one, you stick with them. If you have to switch, they’re going to tell you at your next-to-last session most of the time. The search for the next good therapist or counselor or doctor is not a fun time, but don’t panic. Research and when in doubt, take the doctor with the one good review over the cheaper doctor with no reviews and if it doesn’t work out, you can switch. Also, don’t forget your primary care if you can’t find a new psychiatrist before your next refill. Also, if you are desperate in need of someone to talk to about your mental health, call a crisis hotline. It doesn’t matter how big or small you think your crisis is. They are there to help.

This got long. Welp. Seeing an ad on Facebook about how a site was only going to charge $199 to get medication for ADHD was just one big pharma ad too far for me.

[moeyy-writes]

Here and Now - Part 1

Zak Bagans x Reader

Warnings: hints at family issues, mild fluff.

Word Count: 1,822

A/N: Great, what have I gotten myself into? This started as a random idea that was in no way planned. I didn’t even think it would be something worth posting. Now, it’s becoming a series that I’m praying I’ll be able to update regularly. I don’t really know where it’s going yet. I guess we’ll find out together. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

My Master List || Also on AO3 || Series Master List

“Yes Mom.” You sighed. “No, I won’t be. I’ll be filming that week.” Another sigh. “No, I’m not going to be looking for another job.” You rolled your eyes and leaned your head back over the back of your folding chair. “Mom, this is what I want to do—Okay. Love you too.”

You tossed your phone over onto the table in front of you and sighed. You loved your parents, but they didn’t quite understand when you told them you were leaving your cozy job as a nurse to hunt ghosts. Your mom blamed your long-time friend, Jay Wasley, for “luring” you into the field. Every time you talked to her, she begged you to rejoin the medical field, but there was nothing that could convince you to do anything else than be a part of the Ghost Adventures team.

You loved joining the guys on investigations, being the main audio-visual tech for the last year. That allowed Billy and Jay to be more involved in the investigations, which was especially helpful when investigating the larger sites.

Not to mention, you were working with some of the nicest people you had ever met.

You never second guessed the career change. When the guys asked you to be a part of the team, you jumped on it without even giving it another thought. Jay and you had both taken film classes in college, but you changed majors after your family urged you to find something “more career friendly”. He knew you loved working with different types of cameras and had a very keen eye for the slightest hints of evidence on the screen. And the other men on the team couldn’t agree more.

As you let out a long sigh, you heard footsteps to your left. You glanced over to a tall, spiky-haired figure illuminated by the sun behind.

“Hey Zak,” you greeted the leader of your team. He lowered himself down into the chair beside you and smiled. His sunglasses were sliding down his nose, and the wide brim of his hat shielded your eyes slightly from the sun.

“Hey, what was all of that about?” he questioned, nodding towards your phone. You just shrugged and huffed out a frustrated breath.

“It’s just my mom. You know, same shit, different day. She’s constantly questioning my ‘career choice’ and telling me that I don’t know what I’m doing.” You closed your eyes. “She only sees a job for the money.”

Zak nodded. “Yeah, well some people see that. Some people do something because they know the pay check is going to be awesome, and the title is going to make them look good to everyone else.” You laughed.

“Yeah, well, the pay check isn’t too shabby for you, is it?” you both laughed and turned to the building in front of you. It was another location, and the interviews were going to start shortly. You decided to make a small station to set up and charge cameras between interviews, and keep a few pieces of equipment handy for any impromptu investigating.

You glanced away, trying to ignore the intense set of butterflies in your stomach whenever Zak was near you. Sure, you had met him several times before you became part of the team. Hell, he was one of the people who fought for your spot on the show. But, you didn’t know a whole lot about the man at your side. Jay had filled you in on the basics of his life, but that was about it. Sure, he was goofy, nerdy, and a little bit full of himself. But, he was also a kind and friendly guy, something you weren’t really expecting.

He had welcomed you with open arms, as they all did. He made sure that you always felt included when you wanted to be and checked in with you whenever there was an emotionally heavy case. You wouldn’t tell anyone in the media, but he was secretly the caretaker of the group.

So, it was no wonder he was sitting beside you after hearing your phone call. He could sense when something was off about a crew member. It was definitely something unique about Zak Bagans.

“Do you ever second guess being here? Leaving the nursing field?” You shook your head adamantly.

“Not for a second. I became a nurse because my dad is a doctor and pressured me into joining the same field. I liked it, don’t get me wrong, but I wanted to help people in another way.” You peered over at Jay, who was fiddling with Aaron’s camera. “Thanks to Jay, I’m here doing just that.”

“Well, we all agreed for you to join. To be honest, it’s been really nice having a different perspective on everything. You always find the best positions for the static-vision and x-cameras, and always find logical reasons for our equipment malfunctions. You have a gift, Y/N.” You could feel your cheeks redden at Zak’s words. You ran your fingers through your hair.

“Thanks, Zak. That means a lot.” Your gaze flicked back to your phone for a moment. “I know my parents love me and want what’s best for me. I just wish that they knew I’m at the age where I can find that out for myself.” Zak nodded, loosely crossing his legs.

“They do love you. There are plenty of people who love you, Y/N. And we’re all here for you.” You leaned back a little, raising a brow.

“Plenty of people? Like who?” Your heart fluttered, secretly wondering if he was implying something more behind his words. Could he be? No, not Zak. That wasn’t like him.

Zak smirked. “Well, I freaking hope you know by now that the crew loves you. Jay’s known you for what, at least a decade? More? Aaron and you have that never-ending prank war thing that I swear is going to be the death of one of you. From the second time you met, I knew you were pretty much platonic soulmates. And watching you and Billy geek out over equipment together makes me smile. Nerds.”

You nodded, practically beaming. Zak always knew what to say and when to say it, at least most of the time.

“And I think you’re a great addition to the team. You’re smart, fun to be around. It’s like you’ve been with us since the beginning.” You didn’t know what else to do but smile. Where the hell was all of this coming from? Sure, Zak was usually sweet and uplifting, but this was a lot coming from him. He was rarely this intense.

“That means a lot, Zak. I’m really glad to be working with everyone. I really do love you all too.” You and Zak stared at each other for a moment before he spoke again.

“You know, you’re really a special person, Y/N. Your parents know that, the team knows that, And I definitely know that.” He pushed his glasses up his nose, then cleared his throat. Was he nervous? Zak Bagans, nervous? Huh.

“Uh, thanks Zak. Really.” He was kind of repeating himself, like he was trying to hint at something he was too afraid to say. You had never heard him talk like this before. He was always super straightforward and blunt, never talking in code or hiding meaning behind his words.

“And, I was wondering if you were, um, interested in hanging out more outside of here? You know, outside of the show?” You furrowed your brow.

“We do hang out. I mean, we all meet for lunch or dinner, and meet at each other’s houses—”

“I know, but I meant you and me. You know, just the two of us.” Your brow shot up as your stomach swirled.

“Um, are you asking me out Mr. Bagans?” No fucking way. He couldn’t be. There’s no way Zak Bagans would be asking you out.

“Yep. Yeah, I am.” Oh, you stood corrected.

“Well, I, uh, yeah. That sounds awesome.” You studied his confident smirk.

Zak nodded to himself. “Awesome,” he repeated. “Let’s focus on this lockdown, then we’ll work out the details. But, I know of a great place I want to bring you to.” He reached over and gently placed his hand on top of yours.

You flipped your hand over and wrapped it around his. “I can’t wait.” And that was the God-honest truth. Your whole life flipped in the best possible way over the last several minutes, and your head was reeling as you tried to accept your new reality.

You were dating, or about to date, Zak Bagans.

“Hey, Zak, we’re almost ready to go!” Jay called over. Zak perked his head up.

“I’ll be right there!” He squeezed your hand, then pulled away. As he stood, he offered his award-winning smile, then made it over to his friends.

You really needed to get your camera ready, but you couldn’t move. Your brain was still struggling to process. Not only was this whole thing something you never dreamed of, it completely came out of left field. Zak was a natural flirt, but you didn’t think he flirted with you more than any other woman he met. He was respectful, avoiding any type of sexual jokes, and making sure he called out the others if anything made you noticeably uncomfortable. That was half the reason your brain was still currently malfunctioning.

Your phone buzzed in your hand, shocking you from your thoughts. You unlocked your phone and opened your messages.

New Message: Jay Wasleyyyy

You studied the message, which was a simple thumbs up emoji. You glanced up at your buddy, who shared your gaze, standing beside a grinning Aaron. Great. Sure, Jay knew about how you felt towards Zak. It was hard to keep it a secret sometimes, especially from someone who had known you as long as Jay did. He obviously knew that Zak was up to something too. Sneaky bastard.

But, now Aaron wasn’t going to leave you alone about it. Joy. All you needed was your goofy friend poking at you as singing ridiculous songs about love and shit.

Another message pinged, forcing you to glanced back down at your phone.

New Message: Zak Attack

It was another wordless message, with a black heart and a winking face emoji. Totally Zak’s dorky yet oddly suave style.

You stared at the message, suddenly giddy with excitement. Now that your brain had come back down to Earth, you were nothing but excited about what was to come. You had no idea what Zak had up his sleeve, or how the two of you were going to do in a romantic relationship, but there was an odd exhilaration in not knowing.

With a long exhale, you silenced your phone and slipped it into your pocket. Then, you lifted your camera from the table in front of you and headed off to join your team.

Thanks for reading. Feedback is appreciated! <3

[herstoryherlegacy]

Expect the unexpected

(Trigger warning - lots of throw ups)

This has never really been my motto. Most things in my life have been expected or I’ve had signs pointed out to me that gives me a hint of what lies ahead. I was not expecting to be in the ER tonight. Actually I was just about to put my makeup on and do a lovely couples photoshoot with my husband when I got the call to come to the ER for possible blood clot in my lungs. Let me back up..

I had been healing from my port placement 3 days ago. Yesterday I was texting Juan updates on how I was feeling. I’m extremely thankful he was so diligent on checking in on me. My main concern was the tightness in my chest, pressure where the port is. I couldn’t take a deep breath. I felt better resting. I had even been doing light housework to stay up and active. Today he checked in again. The chest pressure was better. I could actually take a deep breath with little to no problem. Fast forward to this afternoon. I had went down to my best friend Sam’s salon to get my hair styled for my photoshoot. She’s on the 2nd floor and we took the stairs. My favorite part. I hadn’t exercised since my diagnosis and it’s been killing me. I was so active. Upon reaching the 2nd floor which was not far, I was winded. I text Juan letting him know, and he didn’t respond right away. I sat down, caught my breath, and got my hair done. As soon as I parked at home Juan called. He was consulting his doctor and advised I go in ASAP to an urgent care to be seen. I needed an x-ray, EKG, oxygen levels checked to rule out a possible blood clot in the lungs. Fuck me..

Disappointed to say the least. I walked into my home filled with laughter from my girls and their cousins, everyone gathered at the table for a meal, my in laws were visiting. All I could say was, we have to go to urgent care. I didn’t even kiss my babies goodbye 😕 I said goodbye to them but not thinking I wouldn’t be back tonight didn’t cross my mind. Now I wish I had. I arrived at a local urgent care before closing and the first thing I noticed in the lobby were vases of fake sunflowers. By pure coincidence, I use a sunflower background when I update my stories about my disease. I immediately knew this was God’s way of telling me he was with me and that I would be okay. I went into a room to be evaluated, and guess what kind of shoes the nurse was wearing? I’d never seen these before, but white vans with yellow sunflowers all over. There are no coincidences! However I wasn’t helped and was told to go to the ER.

No one likes to be in the ER, especially not right now. I had labs drawn, and an x-ray which showed proper placement of the port. Luckily Juan was here working and able to be there for my x-ray. He came to see me once more before he left to tell me he was going to communicate with the doctor about my CT and insulin complications. I had mentioned I was waiting for my husband to bring my charger because I was basically on E, and he graciously went to retrieve his charger to give to me. So extremely thankful for that gesture because alone, with no connection to my family in this place, is NOT the business. A charged phone is a precious lifeline so please always keep yours charged! So now..I wait for the CT.

I had been moved all over that ER. First I came to a bed and talked with a nurse. Then another nurse came in demanding she needed the bed. Once I was done I was booted off that bed so fast and into a chair in a hallway. The place was littered with sick people inside and outside rooms. It was so sad and crowded. I do believe I was mixed with both normal sick people and possible covid patients. To say I was nervous is an understatement. Back and forth I went between rooms, chairs, main waiting room, and scans. The longest wait was waiting to have my CT scan. I was in a room with chemo type reclining chairs. This poor girl in front of me was dealing with pain, bad. I felt so sorry for her. She was doing a good job being quiet but her face and body language looked like she was in active labor, though she was not. After watching I assumed she was suffering some sort of abdominal pain. When it was just us two, I didn’t want to make her talk, but I told her that I didn’t know what she was going through but that I was going to cover her in prayer. Her eyes lit up. She said thank you a bunch and I just assured her that I had her taken care of. I prayed with healing words. No matter what situation I’m in, I would never turn down the opportunity to put myself aside and pray for someone else who needed it more. I have failed this test before many times being too shy to pray, but you never know how those simple words of offering someone prayer may help them feel better. I wanted to cry, yeah I was in here for a possible life threatening issue, but I was nowhere as bad off as these people.

So I prayed for her, and eventually it was my turn to go to my CT. I had an IV put in, flushed, and had 3 medications to help me with my scan. One was Benadryl. I was actually glad to have it because I’ll be receiving it in my Pre-chemo cocktail and I wasn’t sure how I would feel on it. Yes it made me woozy immediately, but it was tolerable. Almost enjoyable in the correct setting. Waiting again, and was wheeled over by this super nice guy who eased the stress with good conversation. If you’ve ever done an MRI with contrast..it’s a fucking insane feeling. I laid down, the nurse flushed my IV and added the contrast. She loaded me in and waited a few minutes for it to kick in. I was in the machine for another few minutes and immediately when I was done I felt the warm rush. I’ve previously been warned it makes you feel really warm and almost like you’ve pee’d yourself. Thank god they reminded me because the warm sensation is explosive. It simultaneously felt like hot water was exploding from both my chest outward and my crotch 😂 indeed I clenched my body in case I did pee, but that’s exactly how it felt!!! So odd. Off to wait again for the results. This is where it for torturous. I am SO thankful for my AirPods and this charger. I have a very sensitive trigger to throwing up. Myself, other people, I can’t handle it. I actually did a good job this last week because both my girls got a virus, and I wasn’t second hand nauseous at all, that’s a victory. But in this ER literally 90% of the patients were vomiting 😑 I cranked those air pods to the max to drown out the sound. Closed my eyes. I don’t want what they got. So I’m in the big chair room again, my poor friend comes back in. Still in pain desperate for relief. Then another person, and another until the whole room was filled with us 5 people. 3/5 with vomiting 😕. Poor baby I prayed for got sick first, she was telling a nurse she was getting sick from the pain itself. Then the girl directly next to me. As she was getting her IV meds she started to get sick. It was a constant rush of nurses trying to get those sick bags in time..bless their quickness. I winced and turned to my left as to avoid being there. There wasn’t anywhere I could go where I wasn’t in the direct line of someone getting sick. I was miserable. Benadryl still kicking, I tried to nap, but had to keep my eyes open waiting for my name to be called. Eventually the time came, I was put in a draw chair outside the big chair room and my doctor read me the good news! I had my IV’s taken out and asked if they wanted me to go back into the big chair room (I don’t want to hog the draw chair in case someone needed it) and he said sure, just as I stood up the first poor girl started wrenching and I said “you know what I’ll stay here” and with a laugh the nurse walked back to their station and printed my discharge papers. I was R E L I E V E D. I was as calm in this situation as I needed to be, panicking and stressing weren’t going to help me. Easier said than done, to just not stress, but knowing how much trauma your body goes through WHEN you stress, it just wasn’t going to work in my favor. I came home famished, ate my dinner at 11:30pm, followed by a bag of popcorn, followed by a small serving of ice cream. Then my blood sugars sky rocketed all night 🙃 eh, not a good thing but I will hopefully have that very taken care of soon. Praise God nothing came out of this, each day has its own surprises, not all good, but also not all bad. The day started well with me sharing that my CT showed no cancer anywhere else in my body. This is EXTREMELY good news, and ended with me in the ER. You just never know how things will play out. So hug your kids, tell them you love them, do something fun. Enjoy the day given, because in a flash it could all be taken away ✌🏻

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 27+28.11.20 lbs

27.11.20

lmao i was gonna get suuuuuuper mad at kabir for being in her room but then he’s like:

“hi.”

....................... and i instantly snorted happily. vishal is realllllllllly just so likable that i just can’t with him anymore. i love when adorable marshmallows like him and shrenu play evil. you just cannot fucking hate them!

blah blah humaara kamra, mera kamra nonsense.

shaadi ka joda gift. with that tackyyyyyyyyyyyyassss KABIR KI RIDDHIMA written on it. main marr jaooon par kabhi bhi aisa kuch na pehnoon, no matter how much i love the guy.

“kuch hi derr mein tum VANSH ki riddhima se, KABIR ki riddhima ho jaogi.” coz even in 2020, women are nothing but chattel to be passed on from one man to another.

riddhima is thinking fat chance, bitch.

telling him she’ll never wear red for him, coz “laal pyaar ka rang hota hai, aur main sirf ek insaan se pyaar karti hoon, aur woh hai vansh.”

“toh yeh bhi vansh ke paise se hi liya hai.” lmaooooooooo

ghani beizzati by saying she’s already bought a joda for herself, a white one. which honestly looks muchhhhhhhhhh nicer than the red one acc. to me but ok.

vansh checking his account balance and seeing that there’s charges for two wholeass designer jodas bought for a shaadi that’s not even gonna happen:

anyway kabir’s like ok who cares, colour doesn’t matter, shaadi toh tumhari honi hai mujhse blah blah.

kabir doesn’t like mandap setup. coz all white. and apparently aryan was in charge of it? coz he’s getting dragged by the collar for it.

good. i don’t feel any sympathy.

ishani is like dekh liya nateeeja iss loserrrrrrrr ki khushaamad karne ka? when has vansh ever treated you like this no matter how mad he’s gotten at you? he always protected you.

behen kyun bhains ke aage been bajaa rahi ho? yeh manhoos baaz nahi aana.

ishani flounced away and aryan’s now vowing revenge against kabir. abbe yaar, tera list toh kabhi khata hi nahi hota.

why the fuck are these ppl soooooooooo dressed up for a wedding they don’t even want to participate in? itna toh main apni genuine shaadi ke liye naa sajjjjjjoon.

suddenly ishani is allllll about bado ka sammaaan and parampara, pratishthaaaaa, anushaasan and all. lmao ok?????

tod di choodi uski kalaayi par. jaisa bhai, waisiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hi behen.

shaadi mubarak indeed. lol.

riddhima’s calling vihaan and freakingout ki woh paise leke bhaag gaya. you are so fucking stupid sis, why would you give him that much fucking money BEFORE HE EVEN SHOWED THE FUCK UP??????????

“tum thodi weird nahi ho????” bhai obvious sawaal naa pooch.

anyway he’s like calm yo tits, untwist your panties, i’ll get there on time.

kabir instead of fixing his maatam waala mandap is back skulking around vihaan’s container box house. ladki ko shaadi karni bhi nahi hai and she’s sitting there ready from 3 hours before, aur yeh, jissko shaadi ki utaavli chadhi thi, is out doing randomassssss jasoosi, coz that’s the priority rn. sounds legit. 

VIHAAN THE DUMBASS TOOK OFF THE CCTV CAMERA AND PACKED IT. GOD YOU’RE ALLLLLLLLLLL FUCKING AQAL KE DUSHMAN IN THIS SHOW.

kabir sneaking in with gunnnnnnn.

how the fuck am i supposed to take him seriously with these bachchon waale sports shoes?!!?!?!? GIVE THE MAN HIS COMBAT BOOTS BACK SO HELP ME GODDDDDD

he’s peeking in the door and making some threatening statements about oh ho yeh hai tumhara plan, main sab khatammmmm kar doonga and all, but we never see wtf he’s looking at and this show is fulllllllllllll of red herrings, so........ idc.

riddhima putting on previous mangalsutra for this wedding and..... guts toh hai bandi main. badiii dheent hai.

mummy coming and saying blah blah usse utaar do this is your new mangalsutra and lmaoooooooooooooo

this is the tackiest fucking shit i’ve ever seen in my life. what’s with their obsession of putting their name on everything!?!!!?!!? what are you, an eight grader?!?!!?!?

anyway, bored with this ainvayi ki dhamki waala scene, fwding.

blah blah 2 ghante mein kaunsa chamatkaar hona hai and all......... WHY ARE YOU PPL SO DAMN OVERCONFIDENT????

meanwhile kabir is back and now harassing dadi. KISI KO TOH AKELA CHOD DE.  

actually, lmao, i’d love to see him go try this shit on ishani and angre. it would be fucking glooooooooooorious lololololol.

anyway, he wants dadi’s aashirwaad in the form of vansh’s saafa (pagdi/turban). ABBE YAAAAAAAAAAR. USKE UNDERWEAR DRAWER SE JAAKE USKI CHADDI BHI LEKE PEHEN. ITNAAAAAAAAA WANNABE VILLAIN MAINE AAJ TAK NAHI DEKHA. HADHHHHHHH HAI.

chikni chupdi baatein ki i’m just trying to be the son vansh was to this house. if i wear his saafa, it’s like uski aashirwaad aur duaein meri saath hongi.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PICTURE VANSH’S FACE IS LITERALLY LIKE

anyway dadi is like really really fucking hurt by this and my god i wanna fucking murder kabir.

she’s literally telling him to pick anything else, it’s vansh’s nishaani and he’s like aap sab ke paas koi na koi nishaani hai, mere paas apne bhai ki koiiiiiiiii nishaani nahi hai blah blah and oh my god, this is truly the most villainous thing kabir has done, being thisssssss fucking emotionally manipulative. the absolute fuckkkkkkkk.

ugh anyway long story short. baandh diya dadi ne ukso saafa. bloody nonsense.

poor dadi phoot phoot ki ro rahi hai ki she’s losing vansh bit by bit. awwwww man it’s genuinely heartbreaking.

riddhima has witnessed this and is about to fuckkkkkk shit up lolll. 

lmaoooooooooooo dayum.

wtf is your problem, i’m marrying you, why are you torturing the fam like this blah blah. kabir like physical, emotional, moral sabbbbbbbbbbb tarah se tod ke rakh doonga inn sabko and ugh god i just really fucking hate him.

but damn he just looks really good in this sherwani and hair all mussed up.

anyway he’s doing some real messed-up, genocidal dictator kinda talk and phew. is just askinggggggggg to be murdered.

and then lmao he abruptly switched to “bohut khoobsurat lag rahi ho tum; time kya ho raha hai???? ooooooh ek ghanta baaki hai.” and i legittttttt lol’d at the way he delivered it. I HATE VISHAL FOR NOT LETTING ME HATE KABIR IN PEACEEEEEEEEE.

riddhima panic-calling vihaan, wants to go check on him. mummy ne pakad liya, room mein badh kar diya coz K told her to handle riddhima’s bhagodi dulhan ways.

great. riddhima’s having a breakdown.

motivational call from the choti sarrdaarni. she kinda just looks like a tall baby shivangi joshi had with aditi dev sharma????

le, doosre show waale heroine ko bhi pata hai kabir kameena hai, iss show mein 3 episode pehle pata chala issko.

ok is the choti sarrdaarni delusional and having a make-believe phone call with the protagonist of her favt tv show IMMJ, coz she knows waaaaay more details than even the people in this house know about the plot and what went down. she’s talking about how vansh aakhri pal tak ladta raha and riddhima’s like huh, news to me, i just got there in time to see him spout some ghatiya shayari and then throw himself off a cliff.

anyway riddhima seems to have gotten strength from this deranged phone call, so............. good for her, i guess.

———————————————————————

28.11.20

next ep just abruptly started with kabir and mummy in riddhima’s room threatening her and i just.......... dude, whatever. i’m just gonna skim through this ep coz i know it’s just filler shit till literally the last 1 minute. 

OK HE’S MANHANDLING HER AGAIN AND FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

dang helly looked evennnnnnnn younger in the first eps. legit baby face. at least now they’ve aged her up a lil with the makeup and styling.

he’s saying don’t bother waiting, no one is gonna come. OH BOY. VIHAAN ARE YOU OK????? ARE YOU OK??????? ARE YOU OK VIHAAN?!?!?!?!?

cue riddhima’s panic attack.

lmao kabir telling mummy ki iss shaadi mein ab koi speedbreaker nahi hai lol. heavy foreshadowing that ab se everything that can go wrong is definitely gonna go wrong.

suddenly at the speed of light kabir is back at the container home in his sherwani and saafa and holding vihaan at gunpoint????

oh. sapna tha riddhima ka. ouff. this stupid show has tooooo fucking many dream sequences.

someone give this bitch a klonopin coz watching her is making my anxiety shoot up.

mummy comes into room 2 min later and sees riddhima sleeping ghoongattttt and all. SURE. NOT SUS AT ALL THAT A BRIDE DYING OF ANXIETY WOULD TAKE A NAP 30 MIN BEFORE THE CEREMONY IN FULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OUTFIT. TOTALLY A THING THAT HAPPENS.

DUDE SHE PULLED A NURSE WAALI HARKAT AGAIN. LMAOOOOOOOOO. KISKO SULAAAAAKE AAYI HAI TU, AAFAT?!?!?!!?

askdjasldkjlsakdjlaskjdlaskjdlaskjdlkas. ALSO THE FACT THAT MUMMY RECOGNIZED HER FROM HER PRESS ON NAILS. LMAOOOOOOOOOO I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS SHOW.

LMAO RIDDHIMA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

lol mummy has to call and give bad news to kabir. and i am sad we didn’t get to see his volcanic reaction, which no doubt would have been epicccccccccccc.

10 MINUTES TO THE CEREMONY. VR MANSION IS 20 MIN AWAY FROM THE CONTAINER HOUSE (AS STATED BY V BEFORE) AND THIS SIS IS...........

RE DEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

she finally got in and the whole place is empty. he practically lives in a storage unit, you telling me he went and moved his stuff to a whole different storage unit?????

new freakout within the pre-existing panic attack: kabir ne vihaan ko saaf kar diya ya vihaan paise leke bhaag gaya??

cut to fb: riddhima asking V all earnestly ki tum dhoka toh nahi doge na????

HIS ASS ACTUALLY SAID, LEMME TELL YOU A FACT ABOUT ME: I LOVE MY MOM. I SWEAR ON HER I WON’T BETRAY YOU. 

AND SHE STILL DIDN’T GET THAT HE’S VANSH. MY GODDDDDDDD.

she’s like nope vihaan gave mummy promise so he won’t give dhoka. ah yes, the most sacred and inviolable of promises.

toh bacha alternative ki kabir has vihaan. 4th simultaneous panic attack in a panic attack. someone sedate this bitch.

aaaaaaaaaand kabir has sent a video of a bomb in VR mansion below the mandap. great.

and now he’s calling to say ki get your ass back home or imma scramble these eggheads called the raisinghanias.

lmao the bomb is counting forwards instead of backwards????

mummy saying MY BETA SMAAAAAARTEST. haan, tha..... kisi zamaane mein. ab nihaayati bewakoof ho gaya hai.

lmao kabir accosted a passing by angre and is like you need to be loyal to me as you were to vansh and lol angre’s like saaf saaf shabdon mein, fuckkkkkkk off.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KABIR WENT TO HURL THE NAARIYAL AT ANGRE’S RETREATING HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MAN HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM HE’S SO FUCKING HILARIOUS

lmao he goes to phodofy naariyal and:

abhi bappa ko huullllllllll de raha hai. overconfidence ki hadh toh dekho.

riddhima is back and hunting for the bomb and kabir comes bouncing the fake bomb around and she’s legit like TUMNE MUJHSE JHOOOOOT BOLA?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? lol bitch, seriously???? because he’s been the paragon of truth and virtue up until this moment??????

“apna hulia sudhaar ke aao. 5 min mein mrs. kabir banne waali ho. thoda standard toh match karo.” lmaooooo the sasss and disdaaaaaain he said that withhhhhh. boy knows he’s looking damn good today.

anyway blah blah shaadi has started. dadi is sad af. to the point where ishani is looking really concerned. i really love this soft ishani.

“kaash samay ka paiyya ulta ghoom jaaye aur mera vansh wapis aa jaaye mere paas.”

dadi, shoulda asked for world peace instead. just the one wish you had and you wasted it on getting your hellion pota back. 

some more in-room threatening of riddhima by mummy. while riddhima is throwing out last minute prayers to bappa and vihaan ki bas just do something and stop this whole shitshow.

vihaan ka toh pata nahi, the shady fuck, but bappa like:

i gotchu girl.

bhaari bhaari flashback waali walk down the stairs.

HE EVEN SAID THE MAA LINE AS VIHAAN IN THE VANSH VOICE. SHE GOTTA BE SOOOOO FUCKING STUPID MY GODDDDDDD.

ouffffff so much time wasteeeeeeeeeee.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....................

watch that he was wearing while falling off the cliff? ✅✅✅

wedding ring that was not found on the dead body????? ✅✅✅

“YEH SHAADI NAHI HO SAKTI” booooooooming across the whole damn neighbourhood in the fakest deep voice everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr???? ✅✅✅

———————————————————————

precap:

haan yeh sab toh theek hai.............. 😕😕😕

par asli sexxxxxxxxx waali chemistry idhar hai!!!!!!!! UNFFFFFF. 🤩🤩🤩

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY Volume 8 Episode One: Quick Thoughts

Or not so quick, seeing how long it took me to write this and how much I ended up having to say. Spoilers (duh) under the cut, as this thing got insanely long.

So we open with a maid scrubbing a floor, a shot that lasted long enough I was starting to wonder where it was going before we cut to Cinder. So, Cinder backstory - interesting way to open the volume, but I’m not sure if it’s a good way. At the very least, I would have cut it a couple seconds, or have it flash between Cinder’s face and the flashback. Same information, but given in a quicker manner that lets us know exactly what we’re seeing instead of wonder who this random maid is for 10 seconds.

Whale aircraft carrier. The design is interesting, if looking a bit too clean for my taste. I would’ve liked to see the bones and muscles of the Grimm incorporated into the design a bit more, the surfaces less smooth and more textured, but it looks good.

Facial acting on Neo is good - I appreciate being able to see what’s running through her head, even if it also makes me wonder why Salem isn’t picking up on the obvious tells.

Emerald and Mercury are back and with new outfits; I can hear the diehard EmMerc fans screaming from here. Would’ve liked a better look at the whole outfits (I don’t think there’s even one close up of their entire bodies), but I like Mercury’s! Emerald’s model feels off to me for some reason, like it’s wider or more padded (?) than before, but it’s not a big deal and is probably just a result of her wearing a jacket now.

Oh, yeah, Hazel got one too, don’t care.

Why does the whale have a screen? A connection to one of those seer orb Grimm?

Cinder is still not interesting to me, but I am curious - can one woman hold multiple maiden powers? What happens if one woman holds them all? If they can hold multiple powers, what happens when they die? Do they both/all go to the same person, or would they split?

I like the Faunus that gives Oscar the soup. His design is pretty cute to me (I think he’s a mole Faunus?), and I feel like he’s based on something, but I’m not sure what. Getting a Narnia vibe for some reason, which I’m always on board for.

How did Ruby know where Oscar ended up? Did he call? 

Weiss’s braid looks much better! I’m still not a huge fan of it, but this model is an enormous improvement - it actually looks like hair instead of rope, it’s slicker, and doesn’t look as heavy. Nice job, animators. Blake’s looks better, too, more fluffy, but it’s not as drastic a change to me.

Nice to see the Happy Huntresses actually doing something to help Mantle, and having Joanna(? that’s her name, right?) take charge and be helping Ruby get Oscar back in exchange for their aid is nice. It feels realistic for a situation like this.

And more secret keeping, but in this case, dropping the Oz bombshell would actually probably be a bad idea. There’s enough going on, bringing up Oz being back can wait until tensions aren’t as high.

Why would Ironwood stop evacuation? That makes no sense for his character, and there’s no reason to stop them. Until he gets Penny back, Atlas isn’t going anywhere. Might as well keep evacuating until you can find here, get as many people to safety as possible before getting away. I’d assume the Doylist answer for this is that Mantle still needs to be a factor in any decisions made after this and it can’t be that if we can get everyone evacuated, but that doesn’t make the Watsonian explanation make more sense.

Actually a good plan, getting everyone into the crater if it is in fact warm (why, I wonder? Thermal vents? Heat coming off of Atlas?) solves the cold problem (that people should’ve probably already died from) and having to defend one smaller location is strategically a good option. Corralling people would also make any eventual evac to Atlas easier. There is the small problem of, you know, Atlas literally crushing anyone in the crater if the staff is used on anything else, and Salem is known to be after that Staff, sooooooo -

Okay, maybe a nitpick, but I thought Pierto’s specialty was prosthetics and robotics. Doesn’t seem like something that necessarily overlaps with what’s needed to convert Amity into a satellite. I guess maybe the engine/whatever is going to propel it into the air could be similar to Penny’s boosters/whatever lets her fly, but it doesn’t seem like something that he would be involved in raising Amity. Whatever - I know we need a scientist person to tell these things to RWBY+Co and Pierto is the most likely candidate to be in a position to do that.

It seems like, from Ruby’s dialogue, she both wants to warn the other kingdoms and ask for their help. This has been trampled to death, so I won’t rant, but - there is no one that’s going to be able to help. Argus is hours away, will take time to assemble, and isn’t a very large force to begin with. Mistral is still weakened from V5 and has next to no huntsman, and is even farther than Argus. No idea what’s going on with Vale, but they’re probably still nursing their wounds from the Fall. Vacuo is the only kingdom likely to be able to muster up a force, but they’re on the other side of the map and will take hours, if not days, to get together an army - and that’s if they decide they want to help at all. The other objective was warning the Kingdoms about Salem. Ignoring that Salem is immortal and can just throw as many Grimm as she pleases until the defenses fall, ignoring that the other Kingdoms might not even believe Ruby, what’s to say they won’t go “F*ck Atlas, they’re on their own” and recall every available Huntsman and Huntress to shore up their own defenses? Or what if the other kingdoms just fall into anarchy? Learning an immortal witch with an endless supply of Grimm will come knocking on your doorstep soon tends to cause chaos. Or is Ruby going to leave the whole immortal part out again? I just can’t see what this will accomplish.

Holy shit, it’s actually happening. Dissent from WBY, and it’s coming from Yang of all people - I love it. I wish Yang had gotten to finish her sentence, say something along the lines of “Maybe if we’d told the truth immediately things wouldn’t have gone this way” since that would fit with her “hate secrets” thing she had going on in V5/6, but the fact that Yang is actually questioning Ruby’s leadership and choices - yes yes yes, more of that please, less of the hive mind. I wish it’d come a little earlier, but at this point I’ll take what I can get.

I’m slightly confused at the sides that Ren and Nora are taking here. I like that we’re splitting them up here (we never get to see them separated, and after last volume, I am more than on board with letting Ren get some breathing room), but Ren going with Yang, Jaune, and Oscar to help evacuate Mantle while Nora goes on the “bigger picture” team to get Amity up and running seems weird considering where they were last volume. Nora was always screaming about how the big picture stuff was hurting Mantle, while Ren was pushing to keep training, keep working, support Ironwood and try and work at the big picture problem, so it would seem like they should be on opposite sides. I’m not saying it makes no sense - I can absolutely see Ren feeling protective of towns under attack from Grimm with no Huntsmen in their corner - but it feels like a bit of a 180 from their last positions. 

Did Oscar just call Jaune “John”?

Yeah, if nothing else, don’t let Penny get anywhere near Salem or her cronies. Salem can absolutely not be allowed to get her hands on the Staff, especially with the whole “get everyone to the crater” plan. Squish.

Yang and Blake splitting up, maybe we can actually get some conversations on what the hell is up with them that we should have gotten in V6/V7 instead of petty showing off and Nora projecting.

“But what about Mantle?” “Oh, I’m helping Mantle.” with the same thing you spent all last volume complaining about. Uh-huh, that’s not annoying.

Weiss has an idea on how to get up to Atlas - Winter’s ship, maybe? That one she came in on in V3 was her personal ship, wasn’t it?

Ironwood calls Penny. From the music, it sounds like they were aiming for foreboding and manipulative, but Ironwood just sounds tired, the poor man. Love how Ruby doesn’t even try for a comeback for Ironwood’s argument, really convincing.

Dead Clover, and I hope that he stays that way, because if he’s brought back to life, so much of V6′s themes of life and death and the natural cycle is just going to be spit on (again). Clover is dead, and there should be no way around that save interference from a literal god. Any attempt at bringing him back needs some kind of drawback - some prevision of life, a body that moves but his soul isn’t there, something, please RT, don’t double back on your “Death is permanent” thing again.

And Ironwood did lose his arm completely. It’s an awesome looking prosthetic, but the fact that it’s black when the rest of his prosthetics are silver, combined with the comments made by the CRWBY about Ironwood’s humanity, make me very afraid they’re going to go for some sort of bullshit parallel to Cinder’s black Grimm arm. I do like the orchestral version of Hero playing here, though.

I like Winter’s new hair style - similar enough to her previous one, but looser. Not exactly happy about what that might symbolize, but it looks really good. It looks like she might have nerve damage, though, which would mean she might be off the battlefield until she can get her hands (hah) on some sort of brace to help her move her hands (which might be hinted at in the OP~)

I do really like Ironwood and Winter’s relationship, please don’t f*ck it up, CRWBY.

Is the only thing CRWBY knows how to do to make Ironwood seem like the bad guy shoot people for no goddamn reason? Ironwood was surrounded by loyal soldiers after declaring martial law, there was no reason for him to not just order Slate detained (that one was Slate, right? Not that it matters). The man’s annoying and probably in cahoots with Jacques, but shooting him is out of character, excessive, and makes no sense when he could just be arrested. “It shows he’s slipping -” No. It’s lazy writing meant for shock value and to give characters a reason to go “Oh, he’s going evil now, I better question my loyalty to him” (based on the look Winter and Harriet share) rather than any actual flaw in his plans maybe because CRBY realized that Ironwood’s plans are rational and the best one on the table right now, so they can’t use that to turn people against him. F*ck that.

Salem sends a bloodhound or whatever after Oscar, we already saw this bit in the trailers. No comment.

TLDR: Once again, RWBY sets up a lot of stuff that I find interesting and want to see more of. However, their treatment of Ironwood doesn’t make me optimistic for them to treat him right, and RWBY has a track record of setting up good concepts/plots/characters/arcs and then failing to execute them well or at all. We’ll have to see if V8 actually lives up to the promise or falls flat due to the issues that plagued V6 and V7 .

Going to make a whole new list for the OP because dear Lord, this thing is dense.

This song is definitely more in line with RWBY’s usual sound than Trust Love, and I’m all for that. The beat is a little hinky to me - it’s going to take a few re-listens to get used to it - and once again I wish the lyrics were clearer, but I know people that weren’t as happy with V7′s sound will be happy with this return to form.

Establishing shots of Mantle going to hell, nice use of red and contrast, but I wish there was a bit more use of shadow to really sell the red coming from fires and emergency lights.

Ruby standing alone, turning to find the others standing at the ready to fight, but away from her and with their backs turned. Any chance of more dissent? Will we actually get some growth from Ruby, in regards to her leadership in particular? We can only hope.

The four girls, on a blackish/blue background with floating warm lights, with images of their V1 selves in their clothes/hair/weapons. I really love the animation in the portion, the girls look so good. It also makes me wish we’d get some sort of flashback to V1-3, because I want more of their Beacon designs in the new animation style. The fact that this background/setting shows up again later in the trailer makes me wonder if it might be what the interior of the Atlas vault looks like. No basis for that, just a random thought. Couple minor nitpicks, focused on Yang. The fact that she’s the only one not in a more dynamic pose (and this is Yang of all people) seems odd, and the way her hair flows looks weird to me based on the angles and whatnot. Putting her in a different pose like a charge would fix this, letting her hair flow more naturally and giving them the space they need to to add in her past self. Otherwise, gorgeous. 

Ironwood with Atlas inside him, slowly being overtaken by the red as he looks up. No real comment other than beautiful.

Clover dropping his pin, with the AceOps and Qrow in the leaves, before transitioning to Qrow taking Robyn’s hand in prison. It looks like Harriet will be taking over as team leader. I don’t have a lot to say here - Marrow’s the only AceOp I’m interested in, and Qrow and Clover’s relationship has never been compelling for me. Robyn, similarly, is not a character I like, so a Qrow/Robyn team-up jailbreak isn’t something that I’m interested in unless Watts is involved. Already teamed up with one villain, Qrow, why stop there?

Oscar in pain holding his head, while Grimm eyes surround him and then Salem with wyvern wings comes out and looms over him preparing to grab him. I like the visual of Salem as the Wyvern at Beacon, but her face looks almost doofy in this shot. I think it’s the lack of expression mixed with the eyes. If she had a more menacing expression, I think this would work a lot better.

The falling weapons of the girls, Crescent Rose with Myrtenaster and Gambol Shroud with Ember Celica. Cue the shippers.

Jaune with his sword in front of his face, pulling it down to be at the ready, with Nora and Ren in the far background, their backs turned on each other but looking sad at their positions. I know Jaune’s thing is probably generic, but it gives me Mulan vibes, which is funny considering. Hey, hint that Martial Arcs will become canon now that Renora is on the rocks? fingers crossed More of Ren and Nora’s rough patch, and I really hope that that gets some focus. Their kiss last volume left a bad taste in my mouth with how it went down, and getting into these two as separate characters and their relationship. Ren not requiting Nora’s romantic feelings towards him would be a really interesting place to go with these characters that everyone’s pegged together since episode 4 (in no small part due to their lack of interaction with anyone else, but I’ll get to that). 

Winter and Weiss walking towards each other on the Schnee symbol, passing each other by with Winter getting her new hairstyle and a brace of some sort. She’s actually wearing this brace in the hospital, but on the other arm, while now it’s on the arm she couldn’t bend her fingers with. Interesting, and it looks all looks really good!

The Schnee snowflake falls between Whitley and Willow, before shattering onto a chessboard. YESSSS, Whitley’s in the intro again! That’s more than I could’ve hoped, and I really really hope that him looking contemplatively like that means something - that’s he’s figuring things out, coming up with a plan, something! Still no new design though T-T CRWBY, what do I have to do to get my boy some new clothes?

From the chessboard, Salem rises up, turning the other black pieces into Grimm to attack the white where Ironwood stands. His pieces turn to dust, the board blowing away entirely. Nice callback to V1. Ironwood stands alone - no allies, and no space to move forward. He’s a king with nowhere to move - check or checkmate. 

Smug Watts hacking while leaning against a mirror, rotates to show Pierto doing the same, his reflection looking over its shoulder at him, then a pan to Penny to show the same thing before the mirror breaks. I’m not sure what this might symbolize. Inability to trust yourself, maybe?

A snowflake flies through the air and lands in Ren’s palm. It turns into a flower petal, (or scraps his hand, I can’t quite tell) then Yang, Jaune, and Oscar join him, Ren smiling to Jaune. Another flower petal flies by to transition to Nora, who reaches out but can’t catch it, looking dismayed until RWBP comes in to join her. I assume the symbolism is straight-forward - the snowflake turns to a petal when caught by Ren (lotus guy), then flies to Nora who can’t catch it. Really living for the Ren focus in the op~

Pans to a shot of the whole group in the middle of everything - Atlas and Mantle overrun with Grimm on one side, Salem’s whale and Grimm army on the other, and Amity in the middle, which Penny flies up to hover below. Penny is going to be vital to launching Amity, and probably for reasons other than the terminal.

Then Ruby and Yang looking at each other with a smile and nod before the girls jump into fighting some Grimm. Interesting bit when the volume opens with the sisters starting to have disagreements.

The entire thing freezes, Cinder strolling cockily past the crew to walk in front of a bored/disgruntled Neo and Emerald who starts to wave but looks dejected when Cinder ignores her. Not much to say here - I don’t really like the freeze frame for some reason, no idea why. This also doesn’t give us any new info on the dynamics between these three characters.

Cinder grabs her Grimm arm in pain as fire flares up behind her, transitioning into Merc, Tyrian, Hazel, and Salem with the lamp in her eyes, transitioning to the lamp and staff twirling around each other, both emitting smoke like they’re being used as they come together. I wonder if this means that the last question and the Staff are going to be used, and maybe together? Once again, though - Atlas falling, people in the crater die.

Smoke clears up to reveal Ruby, looking up to Atlas first in invasion mode, then peaceful. Turn to a shot of the group standing looking to the left, Yang and Ruby looking like they’re posed but the others just kind of standing there. It’s a weird shot, and I’m not sure what to make of it, honestly.

The ice breaks beneath Ruby’s feet, sending RWBY falling into a void, their bodies trailing those lights that we saw before. Ruby opens her eyes to see the brightest light, the Staff. She reaches out to it, but Grimm paws and hands drag her down. V6 callback?

The word Happy? flashes only to be crossed out, a sketchy Grimm roaring, then the words Ever then Never as it’s crossed out, with a sketchy Penny lifting her head and her eyes then face going red, then the words After Again being crossed out. I’m not really of the words - I think it’s going for a Happily Ever After Happy? Never Again thing, but there’s no Happily that I can see, and it just kind of comes across as a bit emo to me. I like the sketches of the Grimm and Penny - I think it might be a Wyvern Grimm or something like that, and the red spreading from Penny’s eyes to her entire outline is interesting. I wonder if it’s connected to the Maiden powers and how she’ll use them.

Sketches of RWBY’s weapon fall into the snow, Crescent Rose falling with the tip stuck in the snow, then a flash and a pull out to Crescent Rose in the snow in full animation, framed by the broken moon as rose petals fly by with the “Created by Monty Oum” credit appears. I really like this as a reference to the Red trailer, and compared to the very cluttered ending shot of V7, this is a nice change of pace.

I like this OP. It’s definitely above V7′s for me, with a good song and some beautiful animation in it’s visuals. If I had to criticize it, I would say that it feels very long and cluttered. My breakdown of the opening feels as long as everything I mentioned in the actual episode. I realize one was going almost shot by shot, while the other summarized, but the point still stands that this things feels longer than it needs to be (I’d have to check time stamps to see if it is actually significantly longer).

A more promising start, all in all, than I’d hoped for. Things irritate me for sure, Ironwood’s treatment, Ruby’s plan, all that stuff, but I know I would have those bones to pick going in. The shake-up of the usual teams and the promise of inter-group conflict is enough to get me to want more, and I look forward to seeing how my favorite characters will be utilized. 

What are your thoughts on the episode? Reblog and comment down below, and we’ll start a convo.

Until next time~

[radioactive-synth]

#FOOCtober2020 - Oct  9 - Loadout and Living Space OR Grudge 

Vaughn has some unresolved business with his long-dead father. 

a big thank you for @theartofblossoming for proofreading this drabble for me!

"Why you have done this to me?"

He could not comprehend this.

Years later, and he still could not find an explanation for the abuse that he'd suffered. Emotional trauma, unseen wounds that still bled, low self-esteem, you name it, he has it.

But he cannot say he had a horrible childhood. A loving mother, a caring uncle and a cousin that was as close to him as a brother.

"I had a more decent living than others."

Even when the war started and the resources were less and less, he always ate well, wore good clothes and had access to higher education.

"Thanks to your payroll."

'He has a lot of money, that's why I can't say anything', was his habitual response to his cousin's oft repeated question on why he did not tell the truth. 'I'm too young to work, and mom's payroll cannot cover all our necessities'.

Ryan Hudson. For twenty two years, he was known as Ryan Hudson-Zander. Born of Séan and Maryanne Hudson, he was their eldest son. Being young parents, Séan and Maryanne did not know how to properly show affection to their first son. Séan was mostly away on his army duties, whilst Maryanne worked as a nurse. Eight years later, their second son, Michael, was born.

'You see, our old man needed him to be perfect, so he could be my role model', his uncle had said. 'And he was. But he was not perfect.'

"It was not my fault that you never received love."

Being put under a lot of pressure, Ryan needed to meet the expectations his father had of him. The world was changing, and they could not afford to let emotions take over their judgement. He finished military school and entered the ranks easily. He was already a Master Sergeant even before his brother had finished military school, too. Just like his father wanted.

'It's hard to believe that they were brothers', his mom said. 'One was cold and calculated, the other warm and gentle. How did I even fallen in love with the wrong one?'

Ryan had met Olivia long before she had finished her own studies. They had liked each other and dated before Ryan asked her to marry him. Olivia's father, Theodore Zander, was a kind, but unphased man. He was not impressed by the young American soldier, but he couldn't help but notice how his daughter was head over heels for him. He only agreed to let them marry if Ryan would take her last name.

'Papa thought that the Hudson name was too American, so he wanted me to keep our last name after marriage. And for what offspring we had, to also be Zander. That was his only requirement.'

"You never deserved the Zander name."

Even before they had their own child, Olivia showed that she had maternal instincts. Michael and Miriam had their first and only child, Vincent Nathaniel Hudson. Even before the kid formed his first word, his aunt was more present in raising him than his own mother. Whilst Michael was away doing his duty, he had no idea that his wife used his sister-in-law to take care of their son for a long time.

'I always dreamed of having my own children. Taking care of your cousin... that made me wish to have you. The day I found out I was pregnant, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I can't remember how he reacted, but I know your uncle was more happy than Ryan was.'

"Did you even want me?"

On the thirteenth of February, 2045, he was born. His father and uncle received some time off to come and visit Olivia at the hospital.

'Michael was happier than him. He had come to visit with your cousin, who was almost three years old. Vinnie said that you were as small as a toy and asked if I would keep you', Olivia laughed at the memory.

His father did not give any sign of affection. Olivia thought that the war troubled him but that could not be the reason. His uncle was an army medic, who retired a few years later and was still the same warm, kind person he always knew. His duty meant that he needed to face the horrors of the war and yet Michael's heart never changed.

"What war wounds had you received?"

As a young child, Vaughn had always tried to get Ryan's attention and affection by trying to initiate hugs, asking him questions, or just hanging around, yet his father considered him 'an inconvenience', to put it mildly. The only times Ryan ever spoke to his son were in a neutral or cold tone. He never raised his voice nor his hand toward his son... unless his wife was at work.

'Why do you always need to get on my nerves, boy?'

Vaughn still shudders at the memories of being taken up and then thrown on the couch, then told to sit still if he wanted to move on his own again.

"I was just a child, how could have you done that?"

'I can't forgive myself for what you endured, my baby. You didn't deserve any of that', his mom had said. 

'You can't take the blame for another person's actions, mána'.

No. He never blamed her, or felt any remorse towards his mom. Yet she never got rid of the guilt that gnawed at her for years.

"It was my fault that I was silent."

'Michael was so much better. I know how much he cared for us.'

That was true. Michael Hudson always cared for the Zander family. He was best friends with Olivia and loved Vaughn just as much as he loved his own son.

'There were times when I wished I had called Michael 'Dad'.', he had told Nick and Hancock.

"I miss you, uncle Michael."

Years had passed, yet no sign of improvement was shown from Ryan. But as Vaughn got taller and heavier, Ryan could no longer throw him away yet the insults never stopped.

"Only to destroy me emotionally."

'You look just like him!', he heard other people say, comparing him to his father but they stopped saying that after the 'incident' with the blade.

"You pushed me to do this."

'I can't believe you did that, Vonnie! What you were thinking?' Vincent had asked after seeing the deep cut on his cousin's cheek.

"I found it hard to look in a mirror because of you."

'I do not want to be him! I'm tired of people telling me I look like him! Not anymore!', Vaughn cried out.

'There are other ways to be your own person. Now let's see what we can do with that cut, then later we'll look in the mirror, alright?'

Ronin bun and beard. Yes, he had worn the same style ever since he was 14 years old. His cousin was right. He was always right.

'What are you trying to achieve with your hair? This is not how men should look!' his father commented. When he had tried to cut Vaughn's hair, he had ended up with a broken hand, just hours before he needed to leave on duty. No-one had known the truth besides his cousin, who was feeling so proud of him.

"I never wanted to be like you."

Vaughn figured out what he wanted to do when he grew up.

'A Doctor! So I can help people.'

'You are breaking the Hudson tradition! Why the hell d'you want to play doctor?'

"I am a Zander. Not a Hudson."

Vaughn never had any problems at school, as far as lessons were concerned. He was the perfect student, or as some bullies liked to say, the 'teachers's pet'.

'At some point, you will be taken away. Don't think you will stay like a parasite until you finish school.'

"You wished your own son to sign up for certain death."

But the army never came for him. Olivia had faked his medical documents, making him unfit for drafting due to 'bad eye-sight and other health issues'.

"Your dream never came true."

He had graduated med school and got a job as a family doctor in a small clinic.

"But mine became true."

'Have you ever seen a girl in your life or what?', his father asked.

"You never allowed me to love who I wanted."

He had met Thomas at the Library. Two years older than him, Thomas was a very gentle man, smart and fun loving. He was mesmerized by the charm Thomas had. But it was not to be for the long term.

‘You seem to meet that boy more often than your group of friends. Better not be what I think it is, or you will be dead.’

He needed to break up for both their safety. He could not stop crying for two weeks.

“But now I am free to love who I want.”

-------

His hands were grabbed by each of his husbands'. He didn’t look, but smiled slightly at the gesture.

'You are free to do more than to love who you want.'

'He wounded you, but you are better than him. You need to remember what you have achieved.'

'And the people that surround you.'

They were right. They were always right. He had lost his family because of the bombs, but found a new one. He had reunited with his mom. And now, not only does he lives his dream as a doctor, but he is in charge of a growing group of people that defend the innocents. But most importantly, he was married to two wonderful men, and together, they raise their adopted son, Oliver.

'You were wrong about everything. I am not a Hudson, I am not worthless, I am not a parasite. People appreciate and respect me, because I help them. I earned their respect with my actions, not with my rank. And yet, I have a higher rank than you ever had. I am married, we have a son, we have a big house and a castle. I have a big family, that love and respect me. You never thought that I would have any of these, but I do. You hurt me, and I will never forgive you.’

His husbands had let go of his hands and he had slid his power fist, ‘Ares’, onto his right arm.

‘You don’t deserve to have your name remembered on a stone. You don’t deserve to be buried next to your brother. You had done nothing to deserve anything you had. Not the Zander name. Not even the Hudson name. You were the worst husband. The worst father. The worst uncle. The worst brother. Eíthe na kápseis stin kólasi, árrostos bástardos.’

He stepped closer, and hit the power fist on the tombstone, shattering it into pieces with just one blow.

He could not remember what he had said, nor in what language he had yelled but what the other two knew that he was letting out all the pent up rage he had felt over the years. It would not erase the memories but at least, he could move on.

They only sat a few meters away from him, and kept an eye out. Minutes passed, and his knees gave up. He was breathing heavily and the other two got closer cautiously. They each put one of their hands on his back. The reaction they got was a sob, followed by crying. They also kneeled beside him and wrapped their arms around him, as best they could.

‘We are here, love. It’s ok now. You are ok now.’

They couldn’t remember how much had passed, until he finally calmed down. He raised his head just slightly toward the nearby tombstone.

‘I am… so-sorry, uncle. I am sorry that you had to see that.’

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 5 "Pumpkin Patch" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

The theme was "Let Them Eat Cake," so my dad bought me this foreclosed McMansion down the street, and, like, 500 of my closest friends came dressed in 18th century attire, and, oh, the pool was filled with this, like, caviar slurry. And then at midnight, we just burnt the house down. When the firefighters came, they were actually strippers, and they put out the fire with champagne.

So walk me through this, honey.

Well, as you can see, every pumpkin in the patch is artisanal.

Then we move past the ice sculptures of demonic peeing cherubs, and yes, they will all be peeing vodka and Red Bull.

I'm sorry. Corn maze?

It's just that doing an exact replica maze from The Shining would have taken us way over budget on man power alone.

I told you money was no object.

Well, apparently, one of them died or something.

Do you have any idea what's at stake here?

Okay, well, it's not my fault that some guy died in the '70s.

I am tired of your sad-sack, I'm-a-total-downer-all-the-time schtick.

I'm over it!

Oh, my God, why are you so depressed?

Why do I have to be the homely one?

Just a second, nutbag.

God, do I have to spell it out for you?

You're a weird, psycho lunatic who's gonna end up in an asylum somewhere, staring at a wall, trying to nurse a watering can.

That's it! I can't take this anymore!

That is such a Mary Todd Lincoln thing to say.

You scream "I'm done with you" kind of a lot, and yet you're still standing here.

I think you know you have a good thing going.

You get to bask in my starlight as I do all the work and you get to grumble behind my back about how disrespected you are.

There's the door.

There's the door, bitch!

You did not deserve to be spoken to like that. Ever.

That is bollocks!

Clearly this fake kidnapping is a play to get the sympathy vote. So Gone Girl.

This is the biggest candle night of the year!

I hate you right now!

Halloween is the greatest night of the year. Greatest night. Because on this night, even kind of shy, kind of homely girls dress up like total sluts. I mean, every costume is just a slutty version of something. Slutty teacher, slutty nurse, slutty nun. I saw a girl last year dressed as slutty al-Qaeda!

See, Halloween it's a night for dudes with killer bods to walk around with our shirts off. And it's totally appropriate, as long as we call ourselves gladiators, Chippendales.

I have no idea how you got into this college.

Look, we'll just hang out and play charades!

This cannot be happening!

Hey, what about Black Hairy Tongue Disease? I mean, does nobody here care about Black Hairy Tongue?

What about my pumpkin patch?

I blame you for this.

[NAME], nice boobs.

Join me in saying you are not afraid!

Just baking some cookies for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters.

Uh, they're toenail cookies.

Pink fur coats worn in all weather, my idea. Flapper dresses made out of feathers, also my idea. Oversized sunglasses worn everywhere, my idea, my idea, my idea!

So why are you baking toenail cookies and giving them to children?

Okay, whose side are you on?

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm what you call

a "switch-hitter."

Wait, are you bisexual? Because that's what "switch-hitter" means.

Do you mean "double agent"?

What are you writing?

Do you know how big Halloween is in the candle community?

Is this an ant farm?

There's a mom ant, Deborah, who mostly just lies around and she has about 100 husband ants, who come around and give it to her good, which she really enjoys. And then there's about a million sterile daughter ants who feed her and are her slaves. So, an ideal family.

She'd win. And then I'd beg to be her second-in-command, while quietly pull the strings behind the scenes like Dick Cheney.

This plan involves a lot of circuitous logic.

Oh, my God! Those are, like, $100 each!

They're the highest quality candles that can be purchased retail.

What a brilliant and revolutionary idea.

Are you cheating?

This is a clear violation of the honor code.

You must be new here.

Who are you calling?

I'm gonna get you fired.

At least you wore something nice today.

Remember to smile for your mug shot.

I'm burping uncontrollably like Robert Durst.

They'll know I'm guilty!

I'm next in line and in charge here.

You can sum up my viewpoint on this with one word; indifference.

We are her only hope.

Sometimes, in order for a person to achieve their full potential, they have to do things on their own.

I am in charge here!

I love that you're a man.

This is the most sensual song ever written.

We need to do this right now!

I just saw her boobs.

Oh, a salad date is, it's like, it's more casual than dinner, but more formal than coffee.

Whose pants are these?

You know, you're a human being with feelings and needs, right?

Enough about me and my confusion and sad dead feeling inside.

It just really hurt my feelings.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure my so-called friends are the ones that turned me in so I'm just feeling, like, super alone right now.

Man, I am your biggest Instagram fan!

I just think you are a style genius.

I will never be able to repay you for the kindness you've shown me in here.

Besties for life, I say.

Your bail's been posted.

I knew you'd bail me out.

Can I just say what a relief it is to be able to share it with somebody and not feel judged?

You know, I mean, all my girlfriends are like, "That's immoral." "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Ashamed? What the hell you got to be ashamed for?

You should be proud.

I could've lost my job.

I mean, it lasted, like, 45 seconds, and the whole time, it just felt like I was getting stabbed in the abdomen.

I tied him up and I kept my uniform on and proceeded

to read him his rights. My favorite being "You got the right to remain sexy."

Give me some!

You know he's sexy!

That was one of the best nights of my life.

Well, I've already contacted the police department, despite the fact that a person can't be considered "missing" until at least 72 hours has passed.

That's morbid.

I've already hired an investigator.

What, are you two a couple now?

What the hell are you doing?

You sold me down the river, bitch.

Wait, Gary Coleman's parents stole his kidneys?

I would never say that, because I'm pretty sure that never even happened.

Why does ratting me out sound like exactly something you would do?

You know, I've never thought of myself as a killer, but I am seriously considering ramming this pick into the back of your eye socket.

Maybe you'll get your head sawed off.

You have cameras in my room?

I have eyes everywhere, bitch.

The name of my future perfume is Revenge.

How is that something you just happen to know?

That is stupidest thing I've ever heard.

What's the password?

I just can't eat any more of these.

This ain't The Marriage Ref! This ain't Judge Joe Brown! We ain't on the Maury Show! We ain't standin' in line trying to get tickets to Dr. Phil! I am not Steve Harvey, people, and this ain't the Family Feud!

I'm tryin' to catch a killer.

Help me get the spy gear in the car!

How can you promise?

We're in a maze, you don't know where you're going!

I always knew it would come to this.

Why are we doing this right now?

I forgot the flashlights!

What am I supposed to do with this?

This is so creepy.

It smell like booty in here.

I'm getting a nervous feeling in my stomach.

I might start farting. If I cut some, you promise not to tell anyone?

Oh, my boob!

Stay where you are! I'll come and get you!

Ooh, this is nice.

It's really beautiful.

It looks like you just crossed some stuff out and wrote that in in marker.

Okay, can we talk about that for a second? Because it just happened a few hours ago, and I'm still really traumatized.

I need some cheering up right now.

Excuse me, darling, I'm exhausted.

Wait, we need to hear what happened to you.

Just wondering where you find a house with a pit. The market for them would be pretty limited.

Did you escape, or did you kill him?

I've always had a thing for bad boys.

That got way out of hand.

[mindofharry]

Ok a bit unusual but hear me out H is a sergeant or whatever and confesses his love to a cadet (y/n 😏 ofc) and she loves him back but is afraid so she declines. H gets mad and makes her work more than the others and even gives her less time to eat. One day she collapses bc of dehydration malnourishment and bc she is underweight and h just breaks down and cares for her until she is healthy again and she confesses that she loves him too. I understand it might be a bit too much ❤️

omg :( pls forgive me, lmaooo i know nothing about the military or police or anything!!! feedback is welcome as always 🥺🥺🥺 it’s short and not edited !!

harry loves y/n.

he loved y/n l/n. with all of his heart. he loves the way you make everyone laugh when they’re upset or always find away to help around campus when she’s free. he loves how hard she works and how smart she is. harry loves her black shiny hair and dark brown skin. he loves her blue eyes and painted nails.

he also loves the way she tastes. she tastes like strawberries, always so sweet. he loves how her brown skin glistens in the sun or when they sneak out side and the moon hits her face just right. he loves how she would cuddle him every night to help him sleep.

harry couldn’t help but love y/n. she was everything he wanted. he most definitely didn’t deserve her - but maybe, if he counted all his stars write, she would be his and he would be hers. there was only one problem. he was her sergeant and she was his cadet. and although it wasn’t uncommon for people in the same work to get together, harry could never convince her. harry could tell how much y/n loved him. but she was so scared, and harry couldn’t understand why. it wasn’t like it wasn’t allowed. they just couldn’t go around kissing all the time - and it might be a bit complicated for the first couple of weeks but they would work through it. it would be worth it. well at least to harry.

they both lay on harry’s bed. harry’s head in her chest, y/n weaving her fingers through his curley hair. y/n was content. laying there, just the two of them. she knew it wouldn’t be like this forever. but she hoped they could hold onto this peace for a little while longer.

“i love you” harry whispered into y/n’s chest. her hands froze in his hair. her eyes widened and mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. “i love you, y/n l/n. tell me you love me too. say it” he whispered looking up at a gobsmacked y/n.

y/n felt like her world was coming down on her. of course she loved harry. she loved everything about that man. his hair. his eyes. his kindness. but she just couldn’t say it - she wanted to so bad. but she couldn’t. she worked so hard to get where she was. and as selfish as that sounds - she isn’t going to let a relationship ruin it. no matter how much she loves harry styles.

“i.... i harry” she whimpered sitting up. she could see harry frowing sitting up infront of her. “do you not love me?” he asked and y/n say there quiet messing with her fingers. harry let a sigh racking his fingers through his messy hair. “of course i do haz. but i can’t. we can’t” she paused pointing her finger to him and then back to her “do this. we can’t” she finished and he closed his eyes breathing in. “so whatever this is, is over?” he asked and she reluctantly nodded. “because i said i love you?” he asked angrily and y/n groaned standing up putting her shoes on. “if we start dating and say the l word everything i have done and achieved will go to shit!” she exclaimed and harry’s eyebrows furrowed “so i’m not worth it? is that what your saying” he yelled and y/n closed her eyes tears threatening to spill out. “i don’t want to lose my job. i will NOT lose my job” she replied walking to his door and opening it. “i’ll see you tomorrow morning sergeant”

that night y/n cried herself to sleep, instantly regretting her choice. of course he was worth it. she just needed away to explain where she was coming from. she wanted to be with him, but she needed this job. she would have to compromise - and she was ok with that. she got up that morning feeling a little sick after last night, but she pulled through getting into her gear and pulling her curly hair back. y/n absolutely loves her hair, but training and an afro is not a good mix.

she arrived at training with all of the other cadets getting ready and preparing themselves for the work out - harry tends to push them, but y/n doesn’t mind. she likes the adrenaline and the rush.

harry arrived 2 minutes later and everyone stood in silence. “today training will be a bit different” he paused walking down infront of them. “you will be put into pairs. and the person i pick will be your sergeant. they will coach you, and help you with your training. you will do as they say. tomorrow we will swap around and do the same” he said looking directly at y/n. “there is equipment beside me you can use. please have mercy on your partner” he added everyone laughing a bit. he put people into groups and told the groups which was the sergeant and the basic rules of the day.

“l/n you’re with me”

two hours past and the training was done. the people in charge didn’t really go hard on the other people - just some drills and what have you, they were definitely taking advantage of not having to do any hard work.

but for y/n it was completely different. she was drenched in sweat and pushed to her limits. harry had made her stay behind letting the others leave early.

y/n felt sick. she felt like she would puke all over harry if she didn’t sit down. “i need to sit” she said stopping her running. harry shook his head “no. i didn’t say you could. keep going” he asked and y/n swallowed closing her eyes. she felt dizzy. she hadn’t eaten any breakfast as she was hoping to have a big lunch, but harry had other thoughts.

“i don’t feel so good” she said and harry rolled his eyes “come on, l/n. another lap” he said sternly and y/n looked around sighing before continuing her run.

before she knew it she was on the ground and everything went dark.

y/n woke up a few hours later in the nurses room, harry holding her hand. she still felt sick. she hadn’t eaten all day - and she was thirsty.

“baby, lay back i’ll get you some water” harry said putting a hand on her cheek. she nodded not wanting to speak much. after he got her a drink of water she sighed feeling a bit better. “i’m sorry, sweetheart” harry started but y/n shook her head “it was petty, but i understand why you did it” she said waving it off. “i’m sorry too.” she said looking over at harry. “you know i love you” she whispered and he smiled.

“yeah. i do”

[seokstyle]

critical condition (m) - 2

pair: hoseok x reader, light jungkook x reader (series) themes: med student!reader, nurse!hoseok, lots of medically-related flirting genre: smut, some fluff, future angst warnings: jealousyyyyy, alcohol, nothing too crazy (yet 👀)

you knew that your first rotation as a medical student was going to have its challenges. you did not anticipate one of those challenges to be dealing with a handsome ER nurse who won’t give you a break.

word count: 4k

part 1 | masterlist

“No, I am not going to call in pretending to be your dad and tell the ER secretary you’re sick.”

“Some friend you are, huh Joon,” you slump back in the cafeteria chair. “You know I would’ve done the same for you. They would’ve bought it if I told them it was food poisoning! AND,” you point your plastic knife at him for emphasis, “I could have given them a differential on what I think caused my symptoms, but no,” you grumble.

“Oh, come on, you know they would never buy it,” Namjoon laughs as you pout. “Weren’t you telling me a few days ago about how things have gotten a little easier?”

“Well... they kinda had, but-”

“No, no buts!” He puts up his hands to stop your protests. “No more selling yourself short! You even got praise from the attending, right?”

You nod hesitantly. Yes, you had told your friend about how the case presentation had gone okay with the tough-to-impress attending earlier, and you definitely had been a little more relaxed on your rotations since that day. Riding the confidence boost from that performance, you had been impressing the resident and attending physicians more and more with each day since.

“See? Besides,” Namjoon continues, “what good would it do to avoid whatever is bothering you? We don’t run from our problems, Y/N. We face them head on!”

You listen quietly to your friend’s lecture, twirling spaghetti around your fork and cursing his tendencies to slip into motivational speaker mode. Unlike you, Namjoon was blissfully unaware of what had transpired that day with Hoseok.

But you were definitely, definitely aware of the last time you saw him. And also aware that the reason you had been so relaxed was that you hadn’t had overlapping shifts scheduled with Hoseok since then.

Until today, that is.

You had no idea what to expect. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your evaluations; you trusted him enough to know that. But still, a 12 hour shift with Hoseok on your team after that stunt he pulled? It was filled with too many uncertainties for you to stay calm at this moment.

“Hey, are you okay?” You snap out of your thoughts. Namjoon is looking at you, concern etched across his features. “I know I’m messing around, but you have nothing to worry about. I promise.”

You smile. “I’m okay, Joon, I promise.” You extend your pinky out to him, a gesture to show you really meant it. He grins, wrapping his pinky around yours and squeezing. “Now go! You’re gonna be late!”

“Ah, shit,” he curses as he glances at the cafeteria wall clock, springing up from his seat with his dinner tray in hand. “Good luck, you got this!” he calls out to you, as he makes a mad dash back to the pediatric wing. You slump back in your seat with a sigh. Yeah, you’re gonna need all the good luck you can get.

You had continued under Seokjin’s charge for the past few days, and he had been gracious enough to not bring up the elephant in the room of what he had walked into that night. He had texted you last minute this morning to let you know he was off today and you would be under another resident’s charge tonight. You were thanking your lucky stars. After seeing how red his ears turned when he opened the supply closet on you both, you don’t think either you or Jin could have survived a shift with all three of you there at once.

As your luck would have it though, you and Hoseok have arrived at the same time, and before the resident. So now you are both here alone. Together.

He’s standing off to your left, reviewing charts assigned to you both on the mobile computer station. “So, how was your week without me? I hope you didn’t miss me too much,” Hoseok teases. You stiffen in response, avoiding eye contact. Were you supposed to pretend like you hadn’t been caught in a supply closet together in a very implicated position a week ago? Suddenly the floor tiling pattern seems so much more interesting than it did the last time you were in this part of the ER.

Hoseok frowns. “Hey, is everythi-”

“Hi! Are you Y/N?” You startle, turning around to see who is calling you and have to physically stop your jaw from dropping open. Yet another incredibly handsome man in scrubs has appeared in front of you, trying to read your work badge to confirm your identity. Is it a requirement to be unbelievably attractive to work at this hospital?

Oh! This must be the resident Seokjin told you about!

“Yes, that’s me! And you must be Dr. Jeon?”

He laughs. “Please, call me Jungkook! I look forward to working with you,” he smiles and offers his hand. You shake it eagerly, noting the intricate tattoos adorning his arm. You hope you will be half as cool as him when you’re a resident. “Dr. Min had an emergent situation come up in trauma but he told me to handle admissions on our own for now.”

He turns his attention to the person behind you. “Hey man, it’s been a while since we worked shift together. How have you been Hoseok?”

“It’s been all right, it’s good to see you too,” Hoseok greets him, and you chance looking over in his direction. He grins at you and winks, and you feel your cheeks warm. Suddenly the floor pattern is of top interest again. “I think you’re going to enjoy working with Y/N, she always keeps me on my toes.”

Jungkook sent you in on the first case of the day alone. He said that he wanted to see how you perform so that he can better give you tips and pointers on how to improve, and that you can see the rest of patients that day together after he has an idea of what he’s working with. Hoseok is scribing for you, the mobile computer pulled over to the side of the room by the door while you work up your patient.

You list off whatever you’ve covered so far. You know you got HPI, social history, family history, past medical conditions, medications, and review of systems when you were taking the history. You performed the cardiology exam, pulmonary exam, abdominal exam (which you will never forget again), but nothing else seems to come to mind.

Still, you run through your mental list again in your mind to be sure. It was important to you to nail the first patient presentation of the shift. Making a good impression on the new resident was critical, especially seeing how it took days before the last attending had full faith in you again.

You turn to Hoseok out of habit to ask him. Before you can open your mouth, he turns and raises his eyebrows at you, staring back blankly. “Yes?”

You are taken aback, but press onwards. Surely he’ll be professional in front of a patient. “I just wanted to double-check with you if there’s anything you think might be pertinent that I might have overlooked?”

He raises his brow again, then turns back to type away at the computer. “I think you’ve made it clear you’re plenty capable of handling things without my help, don’t you think?”

Though he isn’t facing you anymore, you can hear the smirk in his voice. You turn away from him, annoyed. You were completely on your own for this one. You smile at the patient, who is wincing from pain and probably wants you out of his room as soon as possible. “I think I’ve asked and examined everything I need to at this time, sir! We will be back with the doctor shortly, and I’ll see if we can do something to manage your pain in the meantime.”

The three of you decide to set up shop at a computer station embedded into the emergency department hallways, just outside of the infamous conference room where you last made a fool of yourself in front of the attending and Seokjin. Hoseok is scribing off to the side, waiting for you to dictate your findings. He turns in your direction waiting for you to begin, and you nearly snap your neck trying to avoid eye contact with him.

“Okay, Y/N, ready when you are,” Jungkook says, smiling at you encouragingly.

You take a deep breath. “Our patient is a 55 year old male presenting with epigastric pain that radiates to his back. The pain began earlier this afternoon and was not relieved from taking Tylenol. He rates his pain as a 9 out of 10 in severity, constant and dull in quality, and the pain is relieved only from lying completely still.” Jungkook hums in agreement, scanning the chart while you present. You scan your mind for what else was most relevant from your discussion with the patient. “Social history is significant for alcohol use for the past 35 years, he says he drinks around 2-3 beers every evening. Family history was insignificant. Pertinent positives from review of systems include severe nausea and vomiting accompanying onset of pain earlier today.”

“Okay,” Jungkook muses. “That was a really thorough history, nice work. What about the physical exam?”

“Vitals showed a fever of 101.6°F, tachycardic at 110 BPM, and hypotensive at 110/70. On abdominal exam the patient had decreased bowel sounds and exhibited tenderness and guarding upon palpation of the upper quadrants, especially. Cardiac exam was regular rate and rhythm, no murmurs or rubs, and lungs were clear to auscultation bilaterally.”

Jungkook nods approvingly. “Very good! You’re a natural,” he remarks. “I liked how you organized info, and didn’t just word-dump everything or forget critical components. How long have you been in the ER?”

“This is my second week.”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows. “Only week 2 and you already have your own style and prioritization put together? I’m impressed.” You beam from the approval, not noticing how Hoseok’s usually cheery disposition has been replaced by a sulk as he watches the resident praise your presentation skills.

“So,” Jungkook finishes going over the chart and turns to face you directly. You can’t help but feel a little nervous despite his praise, especially when all of his attention is on you. “What’s your differential?”

“Well,” you start a little nervously, “top of my list is definitely acute pancreatitis, especially since epigastric pain radiating to the back is textbook for that condition, along with heavy alcohol use and nausea & vomiting. But,” you add quickly, remembering how Seokjin advised you to not latch on to one diagnosis when examining a patient, “it could also be… acute peritonitis! Or a neoplasm!”

Jungkook laughs. “I appreciate you offering multiple differentials, that’s always good to get in the habit of thinking that way. Though it sounds to me like your original was pretty spot-on.” You smile again and Hoseok mopes a little more as he types away at the computer.

“Actually, do you want to know a tip on how to confirm acute pancreatitis while you’re still doing the exam?” “Of course! That would be great, if you don’t mind,” you answer excitedly.

He grins in response, getting up from his stool and motioning for you to sit down in his place. You do so, a little confused, and he comes around to stand beside you. You realize that he’s going to show you how to do the trick on you. Oh. “All you have to do is sit the patient upright like this,” he places his hands on your shoulders, “and bend them forward like this,” he gently pushes you over until you’re hunched over at a 45° angle. “The pain should be so much better because the pancreas won’t be stretched out as much!”

You know it’s strictly clinical, but you can’t help but blush at the close proximity and the feel of his hands on you. Right at that moment, you happen to look up and meet eyes with Hoseok. He turns away abruptly and you barely see it but his expression... was that… jealousy?

“See? It’s super easy!” He pulls you back up to a normal sitting position. “Sometimes those patients will even be in a fetal position because it does the same trick while they’re laying down. Neat, huh?” You nod eagerly. “Now go check in on your patient and see if that maneuver helps confirm your diagnosis or not.”

“Thank you so much, that’s so helpful! You’re the best, Jungkook, what would I do without you?” you gush, touching his arm lightly as you get up to leave. Maybe you’re overdoing it a little, acting too exaggeratedly. But it’s worth it to see Hoseok’s jaw set in annoyance as he keeps typing away at the computer.

Jungkook is taken aback slightly, but smiles and nods in response. “Of course, it’s no problem! Now let’s go check on your patient together and see what a good assessment and plan would be for him.”

The rest of the shift flys by, to your surprise, and before you know it’s already time to clock out. You’re finishing up the last of your notes at one of the computer stations when you see Jungkook approaching. Usually Jin says his goodbyes and leaves you for the last hour so he can finish up loose ends. Was he coming over because you messed up something? Did you forget the write-up for room 4? Or sign off on room 8’s chart incorrectly? Or bring someone apple juice instead of orange?

“Hey,” he interrupts your panicked mental checklist, “I wanted to say thank you for making my shift a little bit easier and a little bit more fun,” he says, smiling warmly. “Some of the other staff were talking about going out for drinks later if you wanted to join?”

You’re a little dumbfounded from the offer. The cool resident wanted to hang out with you? You must be taking too long to reply, because Jungkook starts offering more details unprompted. “No pressure of course,” he adds. “The other residents were inviting some students so I thought I’d ask, not to overstep any boundaries or anything,” he continues a little nervously, “and I had asked a few of the other nurses like Hoseok to come too -”

Hoseok was going?

“But seriously you don’t have t-”

“I’d love to come! It’s so sweet of you to invite me,” you respond suddenly, taking both of you by surprise. “I’ll uh, get your number from Seokjin, let me know what time and where. I look forward to it!” You swipe your badge and log out, done with your notes, leaving Jungkook behind in his confusion.

Jungkook had texted you the location and meet-up details right as you were leaving your house, having taken a quick nap and freshened up after your shift before heading out again for the night. As you enter, you spot Jungkook sitting in a booth with a few of the other ER staff. You spot some other familiar faces, like the two radiology techs always glued at the hip, and of course Hoseok. You involuntarily suck in your breath. His crisp, white button-down under a leather jacket paired with ripped black jeans is so simple, yet still puts his scrubs to shame. He looks up from his conversation with one of the radiology techs (was that one Jimin, or was it Taehyung, you can’t remember), as if he felt you staring, but Jungkook gets up before either of you can react.  

“Hey! You made it, Y/N,” he greets you excitedly. “Here, let’s sit over at the bar for a bit.” Not with everyone else? Not with Hoseok? “Thank you so much for coming, it’s good to see you.” He pulls the barstool back and gestures for you to sit down, in very chivalrous fashion.

“No, thank you! I forgot I haven’t been to this bar since before board exams, and I missed it so much,” you sigh. Many drunken birthday and post-exam celebrations were made here during your first two years of medical school. “I think I deserve a drink for what this rotation has put me through already,” you tease.

He laughs in response. “I think that’s only fair. What would you like?”

Wait he’s actually buying you a drink? You were just joking! “Oh no,” you protest, “that’s okay! You don’t have to do that!”

He laughs again sweetly. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to! Think of it as my treat for the fun I had thanks to you today.” He gets the bartender’s attention. “This place has the best green tea shots, would that be okay with you?”

You nod your consent a little tentatively, and Jungkook proceeds with his order. The last time you had green tea shots here was after your gross anatomy final. To this day, neither you nor Namjoon can remember what happened that night. You do know that you woke up with a tray of fries in your bed the next morning, so it must have been a good time either way.

“All right, here you are!” Jungkook passes you your shot glass. “To a great shift, and many more together!” He lifts the drink in cheers, clinking glasses with you.

Right as you are about to tip the drink back, you make eye contact with Hoseok over Jungkook’s shoulder. His eyes are steely and he looks like he is fuming inside. If Hoseok was jealous of you getting clinical skill tips from Jungkook, you can only imagine how riled up he must be from seeing him buy you a drink. You shouldn’t be excited, but you can’t help but feel a thrill run down your back by seeing him react like this.

You tip the drink down your throat, keeping your eyes locked with Hoseok the entire time. The burn from the alcohol feels good and the shot is sweet, but seeing his jaw clench in anger is even more delicious. Last time he got to be so bold with you, it was only fair for you to reciprocate, wasn’t it? “Here, Jungkook,” you turn to the resident, “how about another round? This one’s on me.”

Hoseok has had it.

It’s already been hard enough faking paying attention to whatever Jimin and Taehyung have been going on and on in some passionate discussion all night before you made your entrance. Something about a video game about animals? That cross over horizons? He couldn’t guess if he tried. But ever since you had arrived, he couldn’t stop glancing over to your and Jungkook’s silhouettes every few moments.

It also didn’t help that you had shared round after round of shots with Jungkook. Giggling away at whatever jokes he had been making, resting your hand on his bicep, fluttering your lashes at him. And still had the audacity to look over at Hoseok and bite your lip every once in a while. He was infuriated. You had been too meek and timid to talk normally when you were at work, to the point that he was worried he had upset you or made you uncomfortable. He didn’t even get a chance to check in with you and clear things up. But you suddenly had the nerve to send him suggestive stares while another man was buying you drinks?

He needed to clear his head.

He gets up and excuses himself for the restroom, leaving Jimin and Taehyung alone to fervently argue over the turnip economy crashing and Tom Nook’s capitalist ways. He enters the single stall bathroom, turning the faucet on to splash his face with cold water. He looks at his reflection in the mirror. Get a grip, dude, he thinks to himself. He would have to get your attention later, when you were sober, and finally talk things out. Maybe the next time you were on shift you would let him. He just had to prepare himself to get through whatever show you were trying to put on tonight.

He grabs the handle, takes a deep breath in, and turns it to come face to face with you, letting out a little “oh!” sound of surprise. He takes in your doe-eyed appearance and stops dead in his tracks.

He had thought you were pretty when you were running on 6 hours of sleep (on a good day) in your ratty hospital scrubs, hair tied up and errant loose strands strewn about your face, coffee in hand as you ran from end to end of the emergency department. But this blew that out of the water. The red jumpsuit you had picked had a tasteful level of cleavage, just the right mix of sexy but still classy enough to wear in front of professional colleagues. That combined with a red-stain pout, long lashes, and your black peep toe heels, he feels a little bit breathless as he drinks you in.

Actively ignoring how his heart skips a beat, he stops checking you out and instead steels himself to question you on why you are a) unwilling to talk to him, yet b) trying to eye fuck him AND the resident at the same time, and c) following him into the bathroom.

“What,” he starts firmly, “are you trying t-”

“I’m sorry!”

He’s startled from your sudden outburst. “What?”

“I just wanted to say I’m really really really sorry for lying about and saying that you were the one who messed things up when it was really me who messed things up,” you ramble. “And I made you look bad and you’re not bad, you’re always good to everyone! You’re always good to me!”

Hoseok can’t help but to chuckle, confusion coloring his laugh. “What are you talking about?”

You sway on your feet and stumble a bit forward towards him. He catches you, restoring your balance and holding you steady by the shoulders gently. It is very apparent that you are drunk, likely the drunkest you have been in a long time, but you don’t let that deter you. “The really bad day! Where I messed up the physical exam and said it was your fault!”

Oh. He is taken aback; he had no idea that you were carrying around so much guilt over this. Was that why you had been avoiding talking to him at the hospital? “Well,” he begins, “would it make you feel better to know that your apology is accepted?” You contemplate his words, humming to yourself, then nod. He smiles. “Okay good, because I really don’t mind that much. I didn’t know you were that upset about it though,” he adds.

“Well, I have been,” you huff. He bites his lip to keep a laugh from escaping. “That’s what I’ve been wanting to tell you for foreverrrrrrr but I didn’t get a chance!” You close your eyes, buzzing with contentment, a weight lifted off of your chest. He smiles for a split second at your reaction, until you suddenly open them again to eye him suspiciously. “Hey, wait a minute,” you exclaim, gears turning in your mind. “I didn’t get a chance because someone,” you poke him in the chest with your finger to emphasize your point, “decided to force me into a closet,” you poke him again, “and make me all hot and bothered instead of listening! So really,” another jab to the chest, “it’s your fault that I’m feeling guilty!”

“Hey, easy now!” Hoseok grabs your finger before you can poke him again. You pout at him, trying to free yourself from his grasp to no avail. It makes his heart melt, just a little. He pulls you in closer with the finger he’s holding, smirking at your surprised expression.  “If I remember correctly…,” he leans in to whisper in your ear, hearing your breath hitch, “I don’t think you had many complaints, did you?”

a/n: long time, no see, i know! i got caught up with school and studying this year but quarantine has my creative juices flowing again, so i’m planning on finishing this series soon (fingers crossed!!). thank you so much for reading,  i hope you enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! <3 

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control, Chapter Six

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas!

Feysand.

Warnings: mature content, cursing

Let me know if you want to be tagged:)

Enjoy! 

SIX

We pulled up outside the family house--an enormous, Colonial-style building, complete with six bedrooms, too many bathrooms to count, an enormous kitchen, and several living areas. My father had purchased it as soon as his business had started flourishing again in the middle of last year. I’d never understood why he’d bought such a large home for himself alone. I figured it was something about overtly displaying just how much wealth he’d regained to everyone in our home town. I didn’t concern myself with it too much; I’d never actually lived in the house anyway.

Nesta had for a few months before she’d moved down to Prythian to live near me and Elain. I’m pretty sure she’d lived on the opposite side of the house from my father to avoid running into him as much as possible until she’d saved enough money from her flight attendant job to get a place of her own. . . Out of the three of us, Nesta got along with my dad the least. 

Rhys charmed Elain instantly, asking her questions about her baking, her gardening, her nursing classes. He skillfully avoided all talk of significant others, for which I was grateful, and by the end of the car ride Elain was half in love with him.

Elain hopped out of the car as soon as she pulled onto the enormous bricked driveway. I remained inside with Rhys for a moment. I twisted around in the backseat to look at him. 

“Here is my final warning and disclaimer to you. I love Nesta, don’t get me wrong. But she will be a bitch to you. I don’t know how my father will act around. . .” I trailed off.

“Never brought a boy home, Feyre darling? I’ll try to pretend I’m not immensely flattered at the idea.”

Heat bloomed in my cheeks. “Of course I’ve brought boys home. You’re not that special.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Archeron. Let’s go meet your family.” 

If I was being honest, his eagerness scared me a little.  I took a deep breath and followed him up the front walk, bags in tow. Elain burst into the house and I timidly followed her through the enormous entry way, painted a pleasant cream above the dark wood flooring. Past the staircase and to the right, we found my father and Nesta in the kitchen talking. 

More like arguing, They weren’t yelling, though, which was progress for those two.

“I don’t like you working as a flight attendant, Nesta. You got an engineering degree for a reason, you know.” 

“I don’t care. Working on planes is much more fun. I get to see new places during long layovers or overnight stays. So butt. Out. Dad.”

Elain cleared her throat. Realizing they now had company, they both shut up rather quickly. I was grateful. I wanted to spare Rhys from the family theatrics for as long as possible. Even if things had been better between all four of us for the past year or so. 

“Feyre!” My dad exclaimed, unusually perky. It was probably for Rhys’s benefit.  He moved to hug me and I acquiesced, glancing at Nesta out of the corner of my eye. She shrugged.

“And you must be Rhysand. I have to say, I was quite surprised when Feyre told me she was bringing a boy home for Thanksgiving dinner who wasn’t Tamlin.” My cheeks were absolutely flaming at this point. I decided to stare at my shoes. 

Also, how could he mention Tamlin? He didn’t know a thing about our relationship except that we were broken up and I never wanted to speak of it again. Oblivious to all the embarrassment he was currently causing me, my father extended his hand to Rhys.

Rhys gripped it tightly, his crutch wedged underneath his arm.  I was pleased to see that his grip was firm. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Yes.” My father had suddenly become quite solemn.  “And what are you majoring in, Rhysand?” 

Oh dear.

“International Relations, sir.” 

“And what do you plan to do with that?”

And God bless him, Rhys didn’t miss a beat. “My father is an Operations Manager for a large global company. I plan to follow in his footsteps to manage a large company, particularly--”

I decided that that was enough. “Okay, Dad! I’m going to give Rhys a house tour. What time’s dinner?”

My father gave Rhys a look as though their conversation wasn’t over as I grabbed his arm and hustled him out of the kitchen.  

I forced Rhys up the stairs. “Oh my god. What right does he have to give my friends the first-degree as soon as he meets them? He didn’t try to parent me in high school, so why start now? It’s not like you’re my--”

“Boyfriend?” He smirked. “It was fine, Feyre. I know what I plan to do with my degree.”

“You shouldn’t have to answer to him.”

“Relax,” he said as he followed me up the second flight of stairs. “By the end of this week, your father will love me.”

He met me at the top of the stairs, seeing as I’d stormed up them and he’d had to carefully ease his way up with his boot and crutches. Barely a hand’s breadth between us, he stood with his back to the stairs as I stared up at him. 

“Why waste your time trying to make such a good impression?” I couldn’t take my eyes away from his face. I realized suddenly just how much taller than me he was.

“Consider it a long term investment.”

“Why invest in that?”

He edged around me and set off down one of the hallways. “Show me the house, Feyre darling. Isn’t that what we came up here to do?”

I could think of other things. The thought coalesced inside my mind, unbidden. I was the only one who lived on the third floor of this house. Those things I was thinking of doing . . . wouldn’t be difficult to accomplish here.

Nope. No, no, no. Not an option. 

But as I followed Rhys down the corridor, I couldn’t help. . . wondering what it would be like. Kissing him, touching him, calling him mine. . . 

“Archeron! You coming? I don’t actually know where I’m going.”

I puffed out my cheeks. Shit.

We worked our way through all the bedrooms and living rooms on the second floor and finally made it to the staircase that led to my room, alone on the third floor. It was quite a spacious room, actually, with an amazing attached bathroom. What I didn’t realize was how Rhys would get up the extremely narrow staircase. Technically, the third floor had been something like the servants’ quarters a hundred years ago, now remodeled and modernized. But the fact remained that the staircase was much too narrow for Rhys to get up with his crutches. 

“You don’t have to see my room. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think about it,” I said, glancing down at his foot.

He set his crutches against the wall. “I’m seeing your room, Feyre,” he said confidently.

I raised my eyebrows. “Well, okay then. Do you want to go first?”

“I can walk perfectly fine, Feyre. Chill.” 

“Boys,” I muttered under my breath. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just get your ass up the stairs.”

“Bossy. I like a woman in charge.”

“Get your ass up the stairs, Rhysand!” 

He chuckled. And began his slow ascent. It wasn’t that he was weak, it was that his boot was big and clunky and he wasn’t technically supposed to put his weight on it very often, according to Madja. On the narrow staircase, maneuvering the boot would be difficult. But he made his way up, giving me an extremely convenient view of his ass through his jeans as he climbed. I followed him until we reached the top and then squeezed past him on the tiny landing.

“Prepare to be amazed. My father ensured I had the room of my dreams even though I’ve never truly lived here. Parental guilt for not really providing for me all through high school.” 

Rhys stood, arms crossed, waiting. 

I sighed. This felt strangely intimate. I’d never had a boy in my room before. I mean sure, Tamlin had visited my dorm a few times but because he was older we had almost always ended up at his place at night. And my room wasn’t really “lived in” seeing as I’d never lived in the house. But it was mine, and I’d gotten to choose all the decorations, all the pictures… everything. 

“Okay.” I turned the door handle and stepped briskly into my room, eager to get this over with. 

Rhys hobbled inside, his gaze floating over the white-covered, four poster bed pushed against the far wall, two large windows on either side. His gaze floated over the dark wood floors, covered by a gray rug under my bed and a pale blue one under the sitting area, complete with a fireplace, couch, and two arm plush grey armchairs. It floated over my bookshelf, filled with all the books I didn’t have room for in my townhouse back at school. And landed on the grey walls, covered with paintings.

Every one of them painted by me. 

There were landscapes, and abstracts, and a few canvases covered only with my favorite book or movie quotes.  

He stepped into the center of the room and halted, turning in place, staring at the paintings. “Did you paint all of these?”

I leaned against my door. “Yeah…” 

He kept looking. 

“That bad, huh?” 

He tore his gaze from the walls of my bedroom. “What? No. The exact opposite. This is--these are-- These are amazing, Feyre. I had no idea you were a painter.”

“I’ve sort of run out of time for it in college. Haven’t painted since. . .” I hadn’t really painted since Tamlin and I had gotten together. “Since the beginning of my freshman year. I miss it,” I said, and suddenly felt the urge to march downstairs and into the garage to retrieve all my old paint buckets, brushes, and the canvases that I knew were waiting for me. 

“Wow. I’d pay money for one of these. You have an incredible talent, Feyre.”  His eyes alighted on the painting hung above my fireplace. “Is that your mother?”

I nodded, smiling a little. “I painted it based off of a picture of her my dad has. She died before I really picked up the hobby. But that’s her.”

“She’s beautiful.”

I nodded and decided it was safe to enter the room. My paintings were a part of my soul. And I realized that if Rhys had looked at them and insulted them, or worse, just skated over their existence, I would have been crushed. Thank goodness he hadn’t. I collapsed onto my bed. I was suddenly exhausted from the morning practice that felt like it had been days ago and the following four hour drive spent with Rhys. He limped over and sat next to me as I stared up at the ceiling. 

“This is why you were so nervous to bring me up here?” He asked softly.

I nodded. 

“Anyone would be crazy not to be impressed by your art.”

“It was kind of a weird hobby to have in high school. I mostly kept it to myself. Not sure why the kids at my school thought painting in your spare time was weird.”

He was silent for a moment, as though debating what to say. Then-- “Well I, personally, find painting in your spare time to be hot.” 

I sat up, my face coming within inches of his. If I moved forward just a bit, my lips would meet his. 

“Incredibly hot,” he went on. 

It was almost as if my body was leaning forward of its own accord.

“In fact, it might be one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard.”

I rolled my eyes. “Now you’re just making things up.”

He smiled and I might have melted a little bit.

“Maybe.” I could feel his breath on my cheek. Minty. Was there anything about him that wasn’t perfect? 

I leaned closer. Consequences be damned. We were inches apart, so close my eyelids had fluttered closed, when--

“Feyre! Dinner!”

“Shit,” he whispered.

I swallowed. “We should go.”

He nodded. “Mmhm.”

I led him back across the landing and down the stairs. I’d reached the bottom step when he swore (again) and---

“Shit!” 

I almost felt him trip before he stumbled forward, and I whirled around, gripping his shoulders in an effort to steady him at the bottom of the stairs. His hands reached out and grabbed my waist as he regained his balance. 

“You good?” I asked, breathing more heavily than I should have been. Heat flared up and down my body from where his hands had set themselves around my middle. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

He still hadn’t let go. I didn’t want him to. 

“Dinner. We have to go eat dinner. Your father probably thinks I’m doing unspeakable things to you right now, Feyre darling.”

Heat flooded my cheeks again. “Right.” And shaking my head, I released his shoulders and as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, I chided myself for my weakness, for the desire to kiss him that had been growing steadily all day, all week. 

------

Later that night, after a tense dinner with my father, I came downstairs after my shower to find Rhysand and my dad shouting at the television together. Prythian University’s men’s basketball team was on the screen, playing some school I’d never really heard of. Rhys and my father were berating the referees as I took a seat on the couch next to Rhys--a healthy two feet away from him.

Just to be sure.

“I didn’t realize either of you were so invested in college basketball…”

Rhys tore his eyes away from the screen to gape at me, openmouthed. “You go to Prythian and you don’t care about our basketball team? They were in the top four in the country last year.”

I shrugged. “I’m just not that into it.”

“I can’t believe I’m friends with you.” He placed a special emphasis on the word “friends.” I prayed my father didn’t notice his change of tone.

“Hey!”

My dad chimed in. “Can’t say I blame him, Feyre. Neglecting to educate you in team sports has been the biggest regret of my life.”

“Oh, please. You’re both making me feel like public enemy number one in my own house.” 

Rhys poked me in the side and I hissed, then settled back on the couch for the next hour as the pair of new-best-friends shouted and raged and cheered at the screen until, in double-overtime, Prythian won out. 

“Thank God that’s over,” I mumbled, although I was secretly happy Prythian had come out on top in the end.

“I’m dragging you to a basketball game when we get back to campus. Athletes get free tickets. You know that right?”

“Of course I know that.” Nevermind that I’d never used that particular advantage.

My dad stood up. “Well, kids, I’m headed to bed. Feyre, Rhys knows where his room is, right?” He gave me a look. Then bestowed another, different look, on Rhys.

“Yes, Dad. Good night.” I narrowed my eyes and he (thankfully) departed quickly. 

That left Rhys and me, alone in the dark living room. Nesta and Elain had gone off to bed hours ago.  An awkward silence ensued. 

“Well,” I stood. “I guess I should get to bed.”

Rhys followed suit. “Yep,” he said lamely. 

As he crutched after me toward the staircase, I spoke up, just to break the silence between us that hadn’t been there moments before. “I can’t believe how fast you charmed my father.”

He chuckled. “I hate to be so predictable, but I am a man and I do love televised sports.”

I sighed. “I’m not judging.”

We made it to the top of the stairs and I walked him to his room. He paused in the doorway. “I really am grateful though, despite your rather unfortunate lack of interest in sports. Grateful you invited me here.”

“What are teammates for?” I said, remembering what he’d asked me on that night a month ago. 

He smiled a little, as though remembering that night too. “Good night, Feyre.”

“Good night, Rhys.”

It was difficult to refrain from inviting him up to my room to… just to have him near me. But I made myself turn away from him and climb the narrow staircase to my solitary bedroom at the top of the house. 

I’d just crawled into bed when a text came through on my phone. I lunged for the nightstand, knocking my phone to the floor in the process. Relieved that no one had been around to witness such a display of grace and decorum, recognizing how obviously desperate I was for Rhys to text me, I reached down, scooped up my phone, and pulled up my messages.

Tamlin Spring: I heard you took Rhys home with you for Thanksgiving

All the air left my body. 

Tamlin Spring: You never took me home to meet your family. I didn’t realize you were such a slut. Did a year with me mean nothing to you?

Tamlin Spring: I would take you back--if you got on your knees in front of me and begged 

Tamlin Spring: You were only ever good on your knees, anyway

Now it felt as though all the blood had left my body too. 

I threw my phone against the room. I sat up in my bed, face in my hands. I should just ignore his messages and leave it alone. He had no right to comment on what I was doing. Who had even told him I’d invited Rhys home with me for Thanksgiving, anyway? Besides, it was just friends helping friends. Rhys being here didn’t mean anything. It certainly didn’t make me a slut.

But as my phone buzzed again, and then again, as I tried to shut my eyes and shut out what he’d said. . . I couldn’t stop rereading his texts inside my head. Was I just a slut? A traitor for having these feelings for Rhys so soon after ending things with Tamlin?

He would still take me back? Like that was going to happen. But. . . I remembered what he’d said when he’d kidnapped me and forced me to drink…. Something about just giving me space, as though he didn’t think we were actually broken up...

But if he was telling me I was a slut over a text… He’d probably spread that rumor to the rest of the team by now. Along with a story about how I was a cheater too. After I’d worked so hard to stay out of the drama and sexual intrigue so abundant on my swim team. Against my will, tears leaked from between my fingers.

My phone buzzed for a third time and I dragged myself out of bed to retrieve it. I was determined to silence it and cry myself to sleep, but instead of another text from Tamlin, three from Rhys popped up.

Rhys: What was that bang? 

Rhys: I’m in the room underneath yours, I think

Rhys: FEYRE ARE YOU ALIVE

As I read them, another popped up.

Rhys: Don’t make me come up there

I started typing my response, telling him I was fine and to go to bed when a soft knock sounded at my door. I padded over to it and pulled it open.

“How did you get up here so fast?” I whispered.

“Texted as I walked. Obviously.”

“Well you didn’t need to waste the trip. I threw my phone at the ground.”

“Your phone is enormous. The bang caused the elaborate chandelier over my bed to swing ominously. I feared for my life.” He was teasing me. But then the smile melted from his face as he noticed what I was wearing. 

A large grey t-shirt that came to rest mid-thigh. And nothing else. I didn’t even have it in me to blush, I was so intent on not letting him see the tears left on my face. He looked down only for a moment, though, before his gaze settled firmly above my neckline. 

“Thanks for checking on me, Rhys.” I turned to go.

Slut. The word echoed through my mind. I was sure to return to the team to find myself at the center of all the gossip. What would Cassian and Mor think? Would they believe the rumors? We hadn’t been friends for long. I’d barely interacted with Amren and Azriel at this point. They’d surely believe the rumors. 

Rhys caught my arm, taking a few steps farther into my room. “Feyre. What’s wrong? Why did you throw your phone at the floor?”

I had no idea why I gave up so easily, but I brandished my phone at him. He took it from me and I stared at the wall beside his head as he found the texts from Tamlin and read them. 

“What. An. Asshole,” he said through gritted teeth.

“It’s fine.”

He gave my phone back to me. “No, no it’s not. He needs to leave you the fuck alone. He’s not your boyfriend anymore.”

Now I really did turn away. “I don’t need the encouragement, Rhys. He’s right, yeah? I’m just a slut. Moving on way too quickly.”

He raced around to stand in front of me. “No. You are not a slut. Your relationship is over. You ended it the right way. And for good reason, too.  Nothing he just texted you has an ounce of truth to it. You should block him and forget about it.”

I didn’t say anything, just kept my eyes glued to the ground. I didn’t trust myself to look at him. I’d probably try to act on my “slutty tendencies” if I looked into his violet eyes. 

Two fingers hooked under my chin and pulled my face up to his. “Feyre. I promise you. You’re doing nothing wrong.” 

I couldn’t stop the fresh tears that escaped me. How had a few text messages from an asshole managed to upset me so much? Or maybe I was crying in relief that Rhys was so vehemently disagreeing with what Tamlin had sent. Either way, the tears kept coming as he looked at me. And then, slowly--so very slowly--he removed his fingers from my chin and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me toward him. 

I stood there for a moment as he held me, arms hanging uselessly at my sides. And then I hugged him back, my arms coming up and over his shoulders to wrap around his neck. I slid one hand into his soft black hair. “Thanks for coming for me,” I whispered. “And I don’t just mean tonight.” 

He huffed out a breath. “Anytime.” 

I didn’t let go for a long, long time. Until I realized…

“Where the hell is your boot?”

He pulled back, his hands still resting lightly on my waist. “Uh…”

“Rhysand Night!” I whacked his arm. “You walked up here without your boot! Don’t you want to heal?!” 

He put his hands on his hips. It was then that I noticed he wasn’t putting a whole lot of weight on his injured foot. “I heard a large thump and came up here prepared to defend you from a murderer or something, and this is how you thank me?”

I pushed him backward, forcing him to take a seat on my bed. “I can kill my own murderers, thank you very much. Now sit. I’m going to get your boot right now.”

But he reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me roughly toward him so I stood between his legs. My hands came to rest on his shoulders to steady myself. “I’m trying to make sure you can train sooner rather than later, you know,” I managed to say, but the thrill at being so close to him like this was overriding nearly every other thought in my mind.

“I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” 

And then he kissed me. 

I was stunned for only a moment before my hands moved from his shoulders to thread through his silky black hair. His lips pressed against mine, so soft. His kiss was firm, neither too gentle nor too rough, and mere seconds passed before his tongue traced my lips and I opened my mouth, letting him in. 

His tongue swept in and he inched back on the bed, keeping his mouth firmly planted against mine, pulling me onto the bed after him. His size hit me again, then. I was so small compared to him. He removed his lips from mine and he eased me onto my back. Turning, he leaned over me and his mouth claimed mine again, this time slightly more eager, as his right hand moved from my hair, down my side, coming to rest at my waist. I kept one hand firmly entangled in his hair while the other ran down his chest. He was so damn muscular. 

I’d always been a sucker for swimmer’s bodies. 

He pulled away for a moment. “So…”

I let out an irritated squeak of protest, but he slipped a hand beneath my shirt and flattened it against my stomach. I shut up. 

“Earlier you said something about moving on too quickly.” His hand slid up a little bit.

“Hmm, I don’t recall…” I breathed, in a very futile attempt to hide how desperate I was for him to keep touching me, kissing me. More, more, more, I wanted.

His hand inched up, his thumb now caressing the skin just beneath my breasts. I was definitely not wearing a bra.

“What did you mean by that, Feyre darling?”

I tried desperately to suck down a breath as his hand slid up. . . 

“Aren’t you smart enough to figure that out yourself, Rhysand?”

“Rhysand? You cruel, beautiful thing.” 

His hand flattened against my breast and I lost all control as I pulled him down to kiss him again. 

He smiled against my lips, and the joy that flooded through my body as a result of his happiness was almost better than how good it felt to feel his hands on my body, his lips on mine, his weight against me. Almost… 

We stayed like that for quite a while, kissing, not going much farther, before he crawled under the covers, tucked me against him, and we fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAGS:))

@sleeping-and-books​  @musicalfae​

[thecodethreechronicals]

And that’s on not being a selfish asshole.

To those who believe we should continue to keep the world shut down I would like to bring your attention to this story. This is a real call I ran. This was a real child abuse case where the parent was to be prosecuted for felony child abuse, neglect and Involuntary man slaughter secondary to neglect. Just to name a FEW charges. It seems that the only way to get people to listen these days is to shock and scare the living hell out of them. The media has been doing it for months with corona virus reports and incorrect death numbers and now I will do the same with this story. Maybe if everyone stopped caring about ONLY themselves for five minutes this world would actually be a better place. With that being said - ‼️Trigger warning‼️ child abuse/neglect/sex trafficking/drug use. All identifying information has been withheld to protect the parties involved. Around a year ago I ran a 911 call for a two year old who was dehydrated. That’s the only information I had enroute. We got on scene and there were about 10 police cars parked down a neighborhood street. In that moment I knew exactly why we were there. A DFS worker was there and explained they had received an anonymous tip regarding the living conditions of 3 juveniles. A mom had been squatting in a condemned house with the roof partially collapsed, no power, plumbing, A/C (it was 100+ degrees out that day) minimal furniture, and a single mattress on the floor covered in urine and feces. There was also no food and the middle child (10 yrs old) told us they had hadn’t eaten in days and had been caring for the younger sibling with special needs for nearly 3 days alone. The two year old had a GJ feeding tube that was severely infected and coming out. Someone had taped around the whole belly with duct tape to prevent it from coming out causing chemical burns to the skin. The two year old had significant medical history and visible disabilities and was unable to eat by mouth. There was no formula that was supposed to be given and instead the 10 year old said the mom had been chewing food, spitting into a cup, mixing with soda and forcing it through the GJ-tube, which explained the severe infection. In the days following speaking to various caseworkers it came out that the older teenager was being sold for sex by the mother in exchange for drugs, which she was also giving to the teenager to cause an addiction and therefore be dependent on her, which is sadly a common practice amongst sex offenders. A few months after I was contacted by another DFS worker to let me know the case would be heard by the DA and criminal court instead of family court due to the death of the two year old several weeks later as a result of malnutrition, neglect, septic infection, etc. A few weeks ago we had a pre trial hearing-social distancing style. I was asked to provide a written statement on the conditions in which the children were found and and my professional opinion on how the children presented medically at the time of EMS arrival. Since then I was told the actual court proceedings had been rescheduled several times until last week when I was told the trial had been postponed indefinitely. The mother was released months prior on bail and custody was granted back to the mother. The reason? Foster parents are refusing to take children due to the concern of corona virus. DFS has been directed to move as many kids as possible out of child haven and work with the biological parents on safe parenting plans in the home, which is not their common practice just so these kids don’t have to be in homes or child care facilities with large groups. Things are falling through the cracks and the safety of one of the most vulnerable populations is being compromised for fear of a virus that as of TODAY has killed 253,000 people worldwide which is 0.014% of the yearly worldwide deaths of heart disease. Or cancer which kills 10 million worldwide, yearly for a total percentage of 0.0253% Child abuse cases are up 40% Suicides are also on the rise but it’s unknown the exact amount at this time since it usually takes over a year to obtain those statistics. People with felonies like rape, child abuse, domestic abuse are being released from jail daily and trials postponed over the fear of a virus that kills less people annually than diseases that we live with on a daily basis and no one bats a single eye. When this started I was all for social distancing and flattening the curve. We’ve accomplished this. The second wave everyone is talking about is all of this. Abuse, neglect, domestic violence, and suicides. People can’t leave their homes. They can’t utilize the gym to combat anger, anxiety or depression. Adults are stressed and depressed over looming financial obligations from being laid off. Kids don’t have the outlet to escape to school or hanging out with friends. Education is falling by the wayside as many low income families don’t have the resources to provide their kids with “distance learning” and many just in general don’t care about their kids education anyway. Higher education institutions like nursing schools are not allowed to participate in clinicals to gain experience. Practical skills and Invasive procedures are being taught online instead of hands on. So when you say the world should stay closed who is this really about? Is it actually about protecting others or is it about yourself and the fears you have? Because I’ll tell you right now the disservice we are doing to our vulnerable populations right now has a much larger socio-economic impact on the world than this virus EVER will.