#also partially in disbelief that it actually ended that way

[averlym]

"now, doesn't that look nice?" [insp]

[dykeishh]

lessons in lust

ellie williams x fem reader

synopsis: ellie meets with her hot tutor for calculus and somehow ends with an anatomy lesson! 

CW: 18+ MINORS DNI, dealer!ellie (throwback asf), tutor!reader, slightly dom!ellie, cunnilingus, public sex (they don’t get caught tho), a bit of teasing, both reader and ellie are just sluts basically. not proofread :3

a/n: heyyy the way i wrote this in literally 2023 and it's just been in my notes… hence slight dealer!ellie appearance LOL its also barely relevant to the story but I just think tutor!reader x dealer!ellie is a hot pairing. also ellie being lowkey dominant in this is so funny cuz i'm really in my sub!ellie era… but its still hot honestly. anyways hope y'all enjoy!

——————————————————————

ellie sighed as she looked at her current course score, knowing she was about to fail her calculus class if she didn’t start getting decent grades soon. she cursed herself for picking astrophysics as a major, recalling how she ‘thought it sounded cool’ and failed to consider that she would need to take difficult math classes.

she didn’t hate it, but she was falling behind as she allowed her ‘business’ to take up most of her time. it was easy to get caught up, and she was pretty proud of herself once the money really started raking in, but was quickly humbled when she remembered she couldn’t afford to retake a foundational course to her major. 

that was how ellie found herself tapping her shoes against the library chair, waiting for her calculus tutor to arrive. she blew out a sigh from her pursed lips as she scrolled mindlessly through her phone, in a daze—so much so that she hadn’t noticed you walk up to the round table until you said, “hi, are you ellie?”

she looked up, a bit startled by your voice in the quiet library, especially because she had picked a spot in the back, away from other people and their chatters. 

she took a second to respond, partially because she had expected some kind of geeky math nerd to be her tutor--especially since it was through the school. however, the main reason for her delayed response was because she knew you.

well, knew is an overstatement, you were a bit of a crush that ellie had in one of her classes. she had never made a move to talk to you, but she often indulged herself by staring at your legs, barely covered by the short skirts you wore to class, and fantasizing about the sounds you’d make with her face between them. she noticed you were wearing a similar skirt today and her mind already started racing, but she quickly snapped out if it. 

“hi, yeah that’s me.”

“i’m y/n, i’ll be working with you today,” you said, smiling at her. she felt her heart rate increase, but she made sure to play it cool. “oh, nice, thanks.” you gave her a slight smile aam pulled your chair in next to her. 

“so, where should we start?”

—————————

after several minutes of going over the subjects taught in the course, ellie’s mind had started to wander back to your short skirt and your words faded into the background as she wondered how quiet she could be while fucking you in the library. you can feel her eyeing you up as you spoke, and try to keep your voice steady regardless of how nervous she’s making you feel. how are you supposed to teach her while she’s practically undressing you with her eyes?

“so, can you show me how you could solve this kind of problem?”, you ask. after a few moments of silence and ellie scratching her head, you giggle, noticing she looks a bit spaced out.

“jeez, am i that boring of a tutor that you’re zoning out?”, you tease. she chuckles and shakes her head, “no, not at all. these kinds of problems just confuse me is all, i really don’t know where to start.”

you scoot your chair closer to her and aren’t sure if you imagine hearing her breath hitch. 

“okay so, show me exactly where you’re having problems."

—————————

“holy shit. you’re a fucking genius. or a saint. both—whatever. i can’t believe i actually understand this,” ellie scoffs in disbelief. 

you smile at ellie and and shrug, “you had it in you. sometimes it just takes a bit of a push. i’m sure you’ll do great on your tests.”

ellie looks at you with a suddenly soft expression, suddenly realizing her appreciation for your help and being so patient with her. she also realizes that she might have a thing for nerds. she would be lying if she didn’t find your intelligence extremely sexy, as if you weren’t already hot enough.

“so, how am i going to repay you for this, y/n?” she asks, leaning towards you and brushing a hair out of your face. 

you let out a shy laugh at her sudden boldness, caught off guard by the cute girl’s fingers brushing against your skin. 

funnily enough, you had heard about ellie before. there was a small number of queer students on campus, and an even smaller circle of queer girls. and as it usually happens, lots of you knew of each other. in fact, you and ellie were both hooking up with the same girl, which was how you knew about her. just based on this, you assumed she was a bit of a womanizer, and her obvious flirting with you now seemed to align with this idea. 

but you aren’t put off by this—in fact, it only makes her more intriguing to you. behind your studious math-nerd image, you aren’t all that innocent either. 

“please, i already get paid to tutor. i’m just doing my job, so you don’t have to thank me any special way,” you reply, amusement laced in your tone.

“i know i don’t have to,” she states simply, “i want to. you helped me out, and i think it’s only right that i return the favor.” as she says this, ellie places her hand on your thigh, slowly moving it up as she looks into your eyes, waiting for a reaction. 

you raise an eyebrow at her, but once you smirk, ellie knows it’s game over. you lean in forward and lower your voice. “y’know, i think you might be right. i did, after all, save your grade in this class didn’t i?” 

you decide you’ll play along and see where this goes. after all, she was fucking hot. when she smirks at your response, you almost start drooling. 5 minutes ago, you were focused on integrals, but now all your brain can think is how fucking badly you want those long fingers to keep moving up your leg. 

“so how exactly are you going to repay me?” you ask, although you already had an idea of what she had in mind. 

even though ellie was hoping for this situation, she couldn’t believe you were actually down. when she realizes this, it goes straight to her clit. was she really about to fuck her hot tutor? 

ellie suddenly starts lowering herself under the desk.

“i think i can help you better down here.”

you just about come right in that moment, looking down at her mischievous green eyes from beneath you. your breath hitches and you look around to make sure that nobody is watching. 

“fuck. that’s so hot. okay… you just-you have to tell me if i’m being too loud, okay?”

ellie nods and can’t seem to wipe that smirk off her face as she crawls forward and positions her face so she could look under your skirt. you spread your legs slightly for her access and you can immediately feel her hot breath on your inner thighs, causing you to shudder. she looks up at you, making direct eye contact as she leaves wet kisses on your thighs, teasing you, even in this moment where she should be going quickly as to not get caught.

you bite your lip when she drags her middle finger over your clothed heat, then slowly rubs your clit through the pink fabric. you hear her curse to herself and you feel yourself getting wetter as each excruciating moment passes. after a few moments, she pulls your panties to the side to view your soaked pussy. 

“you’re already so wet,” she quietly groans. you almost whine when she brings her mouth so close to your center, looking up at you from her hooded eyelids and just holding herself there to tease you just a little bit longer. 

ellie takes a mental snapshot of your desperate expression as you look down at her, with your lips between your teeth and eyebrows furrowed. but she can’t wait any longer herself. needing to taste you, she licks a long strip from up your pussy and you immediately find yourself choking back a moan. 

ellie seems pleased by your reaction and starts leaving wet kisses on your clit, sucking lightly as she pulls away and alternating with gentle flicks of her tongue. its driving you absolutely crazy how gentle and slow she’s being, and you start to roll your hips to satiate her relentless teasing. she knows that it’s not enough but she’s also aware of how much more wet it’s making you. 

she sucks a little harder on your clit and your head falls back as you gasp in pleasure. then she pulls away, lightly smacking your thigh. 

“uh uh, keep looking at me. i want you to watch me while i make you feel good, baby,” she murmurs before she dives back in.

you pull your head back down to watch her with your mouth slightly agape and see her low-lidded eyes are clouded with lust. your back arches as you feel her the pressure of her tongue increase and watch her bob her head up and down under your skirt. ellie isn’t holding back and you can hear the messy, wet noises her mouth makes against your cunt in the quiet library. everything about the situation was borderline pornographic, and you almost feel dizzy from how much it was turning you on. without stopping her mouth movements, you feel her one of her fingers rub against your entrance before plunging deep into your cunt, causing you to let out a little moan. her eyes flick up back to yours, giving you a dangerous look as a warning. one of your hands clasps over your mouth to muffle your sounds as best you can. 

“feels good, doesn’t it?” she whispers, and you nod in response, causing her to tsk at you. “i want to hear you say it. tell me how good i’m making you feel,” she demands, slipping in a second finger. 

when you remove your hand, you accidentally let out another small whimper, and you respond as best as you can, “it f-feels so good. fuck, it’s too good,” you whisper, eyes rolling back into your skull.

satisfied with your answer, she reattaches her mouth to your clit and sucks harshly, forcing you to bite your fingers to hold back your sounds. her fingers speed up as well, and you can hear the lewd sounds of your wetness even louder now. you’re getting dangerously close, and she can tell by how your insides clench around her fingers. 

“s-shit, i’m close, ellie,” you half-whisper, half-whine. 

“i know, baby.”

she continues her assault with her tongue and fingers, doing her best to drive you crazy. she can feel her own wetness growing between her legs as she listens to your muffled sounds. when she sees your face, all fucked out and desperate, she nearly cums on that alone. “you gonna come for me?”

“mhmm,” you whimper, unable to respond properly as your mind and body are completely clouded with pleasure. your hands find her hair, needing somewhere to grab as the intensity became too much for you, causing her to moan into you, and the vibrations of her voice push you over the edge.

your body freezes up completely for a moment, then jolts as your release hits you, hard. you can’t help but moan and your legs shake as she keeps her pace, prolonging your orgasm for as long as she can. when the overstimulation becomes too much, you push her head away from you causing her lips to detach from you with a pop. you gasp for air and your body trembles as you come down from your high. 

when your vision unblurs, you see her still between your legs, lips and chin covered in a combination of your wetness and her spit, and watch her smirk before she cleans her fingers off with her mouth. it’s the most erotic view you’ve ever seen—you could cum a second time.

she helps you put your panties back on and slowy rises from under the table, looking around to make sure the coast is still clear. she chuckles when she sees you still slumped in your chair, recovering and wraps her arm around your waist to help you up. 

“how was that for repayment?” she teases.

you chuckled, still out of breath, and hoped that she’d be setting up more sessions with you in the future.

[morgan-the-lonely-brick]

Hi, I still have so many feelings about this, I will never shut up. I also made a gifset out of it because watching the video wasn't enough, i need to memorize every pixel.

(These gifs are free to download & use, they literally took me 5 minutes, so... cheers~)

"It is your job to f-" still haunts me. Also the way light falls on his face exactly when he fumbles is like him getting exposed. Shining a light on his fakery so the others see through it? And then he retreats back into the shadow trying to hide again, but does so only partially? Amazing.

The quick look up at Fang, he's so adorable🥺 i think for a moment there he actually considers admiting something's wrong but backs out of it and right back into defense. The way he freezes at the end sends shivers down my spine. it's so personal to me, Con, staaahp, fr! Also we get the "unhand me" line, or rather [if you touch me now i will start crying and that's embarrassing so don't touch me] That's how i see it.

Now we get to the good shit. Looking up trying not to cry. Avoiding any and all eye contact. His fckn lips shaking. You can clearly see that he's broken by the fact they've even noticed THIS. That expression is like a defeated "oh fuck me". Him being off focus makes this bit even worse.

Actually I was looking at this bit a lot and it almost seems like he doesn't know what Fang is trying to do at first? Like he was defensive because he didn't realise Fang was going in for a hug? Or maybe it's a reflex for anything coming from behind. He's a fighter, after all.

He looks ahead, approximately where Archie and Jim are standing as if to see their reactions or maybe seek help?! But then you can see the moment he understands - he turns his head back towards Fang and leans into it, with a hint of disbelief on his face.

God, the loose strand of hair adds so much to that delicious skrunklyness he has going on. He's so pretty...

In this gif it's clear he's leaning into Fang a lot, even actively pressing his head against him. He could've easily turned away or pulled away, but didn't. He WANTS to be comforted. He WANTS to be held. The way he scans over Frenchie as if checking what he's about to do, I'm suspecting he like. Put a hand on him somewhere or something of the sort. I am so unwell from this-

For the last time he tries to produce words, but it comes out as more of a moan than anything, so he gives up and bites his lip. (im loosing my sanity, Con, what have you done)

Also Frenchie's pout is my H2O He literally went :c

Izzy looks over to Frenchie again as if to verify he's not there to mock him and when it turns out that no. He actually wants to comfort him. Izzy fully looses it and lets out the most gut wrenching puppy dog skrunkly whimper ever produced by a human man. It must mean so much to him... Those last few micro expressions are killing me. He looks up again as if to say "oh god they mean it. They don't think im stupid for this, they're actually taking me seriously" And he can't believe it, he's so dumbfounded that poor guy.

What if this was his first hug in ages? I wouldn't be surprised...

Im breaking my own heart with this why do i do this-

[ssahotchnerr]

appointments

summary: you're afraid, anxious, nervous; and aaron will stop at nothing to comfort you.

for the lovely @ssamorganhotchner <3 cw; description of anxiety, reader doesn't eat due to anxiety, mentions of food, type of appointment not specified - can be either the doctor, dentist, etc., just a whole lotta aaron fluff <333

you had one moment of peace.

the sun was shining through the blinds, you could vaguely hear birds chirping outside, your mind clear and hazy due to sleep. it felt like a normal day, until everything slowly started fading back into your head.

growing up, you hated appointments. hated them. you would rather give an arm and a leg than attend a regular check up, of any kind. it caused the utmost amount of anxiety to fill you from head to toe, and nothing has changed as you've gotten older. uncomfortable, silent waiting rooms - the perfect interlude for heightening worries, the peculiar smell only a doctor office's could possess, even the fluorescent lights made a chill run up your shine. and not to mention, the whole appointment itself.

with a huff you rolled out of bed, tears pinching behind your eyes. luckily your appointment was early enough, meaning it would be done by mid-day. 'just a few hours from when you wake up,' aaron had said as the two of you settled into bed the night before, one of the many reassurances he had offered, 'and it'll be over before you know it.'

speaking of aaron, it also partially didn't help you had woken alone in bed. while he had awoken you briefly to give you your kiss goodbye, he had to take jack to school before heading into the office.

you had taken the day off work, knowing you would need it - due to the anxieties before and the hum that lingered once it ended. and aaron had insisted you sleep in as much as possible.

internally, you repeated all the comforting words he had provided as you ran through your morning routine, knowing that they were the only stamina you needed to actually get through the whole ordeal.

you eventually trailed into the kitchen, freezing at the sight of aaron pouring himself a cup of coffee. his eyes easily found yours as he sensed your presence.

"what are you still doing home?" you gaped at aaron, blinking at him in disbelief, debating whether or not him standing there was a figment of your imagination. he wasn't wearing his usual suit either, but rather a pair of jeans and his orange sweater.

"i decided to take the morning off." aaron answered, and then gestured to his steaming mug. "breakfast?"

you shook your head, nerves always unsettled your stomach and made it impossible for you to eat. "but, why?"

"so i could take you to your appointment." he answered earnestly, his sweet brown eyes softening.

the sting behind your eyes resumed, tears threatening to spill. "really?"

"of course. there was absolutely no way i was going to be sitting at my desk all day, knowing you weren't having a good one." he crossed the kitchen to reach you, his hands finding place on your waist. "we'll do this together."

your only way of response was to bury your head into the middle of aaron's chest, your arms wrapping around him tightly.

the car ride over, aaron kept you busy, allowing your mind to stay occupied and not wander. he asked what you wanted to do this weekend, explained the new coaching technique he and dave had come up with for jack's soccer team, the school project jack had coming up. anything normal he could think of. aaron also made sure to have a hand on you for the entirety of the ride, whether it was clutching onto your hand or your thigh, his thumb rubbing small, soothing circles.

but normal couldn't distract you as he pulled into the parking lot, your palms sweating in anticipation immediately. and it certainly didn't distract you as the two of you approached the office's door.

"hey." aaron grabbed your hand, pulling you back and stopping you. "look at me for a second."

with a sigh, you gingerly gazed up at him. your hands were also shaking slightly.

"it'll all be okay, you hear me?" he asked softly, while you timidly nodded your head. "and i'm proud of you." his lips pressed to your forehead for a moment. "you're being so brave."

you scoffed faintly, "easy for you to say. you catch serial killers for a livin-"

"hey hey hey," aaron interrupted, shaking his head and grabbing onto both your hands now. "no. if something scares you, it scares you. and facing it, no matter how big or small, makes you so incredibly brave. so again, i'm proud of you."

you bit down onto your lip to keep it from wavering. you were close to tears - half due to your fear, but half because of how sweet aaron was. how understanding.

"i'll be here the whole time. and then we can go do something fun afterwards okay?" aaron offered, his eyebrows lifting lightly. "since you didn't have breakfast, we can go try that new cafe that just opened up. how does that sound?"

again, you could only nod.

"okay." he placed another kiss on your forehead, and then one onto your lips. "i love you. and you can do this, alright? i have no doubts about it."

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)

[tossawary]

I'm re-reading PINTWILF and was suddenly wondering: considering how dense Shen Yuan is on SVSSS, how long do you think it will take him to realize Binghe has like, feelings, feelings for him?

I think he'll have to have it spelled out bluntly for him. But not necessarily because he's completely oblivious to the fact that he and Binghe are close and affectionate with each other in a "more than friends" way? I think by the end, even when he's still gently, jokingly encouraging Binghe to flirt with women, he'll have suspicions. Or... maybe... "he'll have hopes" is the better word?

See, one of the things I personally really like about MXTX's works is that while the protagonists are a little (or a lot) romantically oblivious sometimes, they're all capable of being very clever and observant, and I get a really strong vibe that their obliviousness is actually partly denial/disbelief that they would actually be allowed to have this thing (this person) that they come to really, really want. They often can't bring themselves to look at the idea directly. They know but also can't even bring themselves to think about it, because the rejection would hurt them too deeply, and rejection feels inevitable, by the world if not by the person they love, so they might as well blind themselves to the possibility of happiness.

It's a remarkably queer element that I vibe with on a personal level. It's also just one interpretation of things. Which is why, for example in MDZS fics, we get the spectrum of Genuinely Completely Oblivious Wei Wuxian to a Wei Wuxian who is so, so in love with Lan Wangji for so long but can't fully believe LWJ would ever like him back and, more importantly, doesn't want to "ruin" LWJ with everything that he is. (I am personally partial to interpretations which lean more towards the latter. I like obliviousness just fine, I like mixes of both, but the angst of love being known deep-down, but feeling unspeakable, being unthinkable, is delicious to me. The pining is so good.)

Now, Shen Yuan is a very different character to Wei Wuxian, just as SY is a very different character to Airplane. My personal interpretation is that each of the MXTX protagonists perform this "defensive obliviousness" in very different ways, to very different degrees, and for very different reasons. (I mean, for some of them, we're dealing with "loving me back would ruin your life and I love you too much to let you do that" and others are dealing with "if I reveal my love/lust to this person and they're not open to it, they might kill me for it".)

I actually went into SVSSS (SPOILERS) feeling really wary of the teacher-student angle, but my impression of their time together as teacher and student was that Shen Yuan's feelings for Luo Binghe were genuinely platonic. And while I make jokes about Shen Yuan being oblivious to LBH's feelings for him, he had a lot of really good reasons for thinking that Luo Binghe wanted to kill him at first upon their reunion. I think any romantic/sexual feelings only started to develop for SY upon their reunion and only became fully realized even later. My personal interpretation of Shen Yuan is that he's asexual (he reads as sooo ace to me), probably gay but possibly bi-romantic, sex-neutral or sex-favorable. (Though I also think that, in SVSSS, even married to Binghe, he still probably personally identifies mostly as "straight with an exception".)

I'm losing the thread of where I'm going with this because I'm desperately trying not to write like five different meta essays here.

In PINTWILF (SPOILERS), Shen Yuan is already in a different situation to SVSSS. Shang Qinghua is SY's mentor-figure and openly queer, openly in a relationship with a demon, and SQH has at least told SY that marrying all those wives in PIDW didn't make LBH happy. I can't remember if SQH ever directly hinted to SY that LBH might be into men, but the other family members aren't exactly 100% discrete or subtle about their teasing. Shen Yuan has a lot more space to get comfortable with his own queerness and LBH's queerness, though he has a lot of internalized homophobia to get through (and misogyny, my goodness, sometimes in SVSSS I really wanted to bop him on the head for his behavior around women even if he's simultaneously mocking the sexist tropes).

But there's still Shen Yuan's self-confidence and self-image to contend against. Even when he's not mentally slotted himself into the role of "teacher" and "betrayer", he's still had the time to mentally slot himself into the role of "older friend" and "confidant". Shen Yuan seems to view himself as a kind of boring person and he likes it that way, so while he would be happy to have Binghe as a partner, he likes him so very much, he can't quite shake the feeling that Binghe could do better and so it's best not to read too much into it. He's honestly happy enough just being friends (or so he tells himself) and doesn't want to "make it weird" unless Binghe takes the first step.

[mdhwrites]

Fantasy Versus Reality As a Theme: Does TOH Have It?

I REALLY wanted to make this a Jumbled Thoughts blog but honestly talking about The Owl House’s elements in this regard, and if it’s even capable of the theme properly, is too all encompassing to use as simply an example. That’s what the media references in my Jumbled Thoughts blogs are meant to be after all: An example to help reinforce and demonstrate the main point of the blog. For this though, I want to talk about the fact that I talk a lot about The Owl House having this theme. Fantasy versus Reality. Kind of like calling Belos boring, it’s one of those concepts I still fundamentally agree with but I’ve never properly supported in argument so I want to do that now because anyone who disagrees has good reason to do so. After all, the majority of TOH is fairly basic adventure fantasy. For all of its attempts at subversion, most of its answers to problems are either classic or lazy fantasy answers. How it brings characters together, the outcomes of situations, etc. like that map pretty closely to normal fantasy. And... I actually don’t mean that in the way of magic. When we talk about this theme, it’s much more about escapism. It’s actually what makes Luz’s commentary in the second episode so important. She explicitly talks about escapist and romantic literature tropes that she is hoping to fall into. That she is destined for greatness. That this is where she always belonged. The escapism King demonstrates in the first episode and many of his B plots where he doesn’t see the world around him as it is but this romantic version where he is its ruler is actually in theory playing into this as well. Both characters want a version of reality that is not what is actually around them. This is not a terrible base... And it’s also not anything special when it comes to criticism of the fantasy genre. When it comes to trying to subvert it. As an example: I really like a game called Sunless Skies and it has DOZENS of different takes on fantasy and eldritch stories. There’s one where you help lead a rebellion on a work world, look like you’re going to make a real impact... And it barely improves anything. The revolutionary you helped just becomes the new governer of the place because if the workers stop working, if the conditions are changed too drastically... Everyone there will freeze and die. From their lower position, the workers can’t see that so the main thing you gain for them is that instead of forcing them to pretend to be happy for tourists, now people can go see the actual work conditions and sympathize with these people trapped in fantasy sweatshops. Also, they will rebel again if you do not keep them happy on subsequent visits. And this is just ONE story in that game. I can’t 100% recommend the game because it is a TIME SINK (I have over 50 hours into my most recent file and are by no means through all the content) but it is a very good one and I suggest checking it out to see if it looks like something you’d like. I bring this example up partially because it highlights two of the core elements in making this theme work: Consequences and follow through. See, one of the biggest problems for the fantasy genre is that a lot of things get cleaned up a bit too neatly. You beat the big bad emperor and the entire empire gives up. You do something nice for a dragon and that dragon is now a proper ally and going to win you the war effort. When used bluntly and without follow through, this stuff, from people who don’t like the genre, can feel cheap and bad. It can feel like just bad storytelling while a lot of fans of fantasy will say that the journey to beating the big bad or the cost in order to get the dragon to help is what makes it compelling and makes them suspend disbelief for the ending. Consequences and Follow Through demand two things though: Focus and complexity. If the consequences don’t make sense, the theme is going to feel cheap and so they need to be reasonably complex to the solution presented. You also need focus so that it feels like what is happening is actually because of previous events and not because of it just being the plot of the day. I have talked at length about how TOH lacks both of these, though much more the focus than complexity so let’s talk about complexity and we’ll do it with one of the most obvious failures of this: Willow and Amity. A common trope to escapism and kids shows says that once you have your big emotional moment, you two are friends. It doesn’t matter what came before. You two are now allies and ready to fight for each other, if maybe not die. This is done because it allows whatever cost it took to get here to have a satisfying payoff and now the characters can interact freely without having to come up with reason as to why they’re hanging out. It can feel cheap but it’s a very useful narrative tool to boil it down to one act of kindness and one act of forgiveness. But that is fantasy. In reality, if you’ve hurt someone for years and the original mark was incredibly cruel, it can take much more than that to heal. This is why Willow states that she isn’t ready to be friends yet. The problem is that this won’t get brought up again for over half a season and by that time, Amity will have been made into a full good guy, full stop, the girlfriend to the main character and also played Grudgby side by side with Willow in order to save Luz’s ass.

So, to put it mildly, follow through is fucked here. How about complexity? Well, that comes down to how the two actually do finally become friends because the show does decide to pretend that the statement wasn’t just a blatant lie. Amity shows up at Willow’s house and asks if invading her girlfriend’s privacy is okay. Now... A reminder. Willow has categorically had the best morals in the series. She spoke up multiple times throughout S1 about those morals. Anytime someone wanted to break the rules, she was the first to say something besides Hooty’s Moving Hassle. She’s the one who makes the broadcast in support of saving Eda. As a note, this is part of why I think Willow repressing emotions is kind of bullshit. And here is Amity, her bully for NINE YEARS, asking for her permission to betray a friend’s trust and privacy. And yet Willow doesn’t lose it, doesn’t say it’s wrong, doesn’t call Amity out for not having actually changed but instead shrugs at the question and comments on it being weird to have Amity over at her house. Then she asks for her hair to be braided. And then the only other time this gets brought up has to do with Willow wanting Amity to respect how strong of a witch she is which frankly at that point makes Amity appear to be blind and deaf since how powerful her magic is is like 80% of her character in S2, if not the show in general. Which... Brings it back around to Amity needing to just have a heart to heart with Willow and now they’re best friends fighting together. Which just loops us right back around to the initial point with a lot more time wasted. And this is EVERY time that the show tries to make this theme have any bit to it. You do have Eda in the first half of S1 actually making statements for it because she’s just mean and sarcastic at Luz for most of that portion of the show and openly mocking every attempt Luz has about the world being fantastical or trying to apply normal fantasy or escapist tropes to things. But none of it really sticks. In fact, for half the show, the writing just isn’t willing to be mean enough to Luz in order for the escapism to be questioned and make Eda feel like she’s making real statements. After all, ALL of Hexide is textbook escapism. Two immediate best friends who are at the top of their fields and love you, a rival who you can show up, bonus points for them actually being your romantic interest because BOY is TOH not the progenitor of rivals to lovers, and you immediately are the most special kid in school, logic be damned. Worse yet, Luz straight up equates shit between her and Amity to the Azura series and NOT being refuted on it. Not having that bite her and have her lose points with Amity. Instead, those wants for escapism and re-enactment explicitly lead to some of the biggest moments in which she grows closest to Amity. Adventure in the Elements is even like this where her wanting a shortcut with magic to play the witch is what leads to her getting a power up and saving the day. So... Why do I claim that TOH still was at bare minimum trying to go for this theme even if it so obviously failed? Well... Because it is the explicit theme of Luz’s character for HALF THE SHOW. In a really smart show, Yesterday’s Lie is when that other foot drops. It shows how much damage Luz’s fantasy has done to others and calls her out properly for it, forcing Luz to actually change how she behaves and interacts with things. Hollow Mind does the same thing but even more severely. Luz states the latter multiple times while Vee herself screams at Luz about how good her reality was and yet she threw it away for a fantasy. That is explicitly trying to make this theme and change Luz’s behavior for it. The problem is the inciting incident of one of these two is AFTER THE FIRST ONE. Elsewhere Elsewhen is S2B after all where Luz doesn’t question her lies, how a person is reacting to things, the fact that things are going so easily for her, etc. like that. She’s treating it still like a fantasy tale. So Vee’s words obviously didn’t stick. This is even more demonstrated by the fact that her promise to her mother is haunting her far more in Falls and Follies than anything to do with her having actually fucked up. She’s more worried, explicitly, about losing the fantasy than introspecting on what she has in front of her. Now yes, this all is handled EXTREMELY poorly. I’ve talked about how Luz’s ‘trauma’ is really poorly written, especially from a fantasy standpoint. If we want to talk about escapism and simple answers to complex problems, we just have to look at Luz’s character finish. She takes the question of accidentally having helped bad people achieve bad goals and somehow turns that into “All I needed was to be understood” and that gets her to stop questioning her actions or feeling bad. It is... bonkers how badly the fall outs from Hollow Mind and Yesterday’s Lie are handled. But it almost doesn’t matter for this blog. How poorly or well it’s handled is good to interrogate but the question is if this is a theme of the show? Is it proper to criticize the show for not following through on it, contradicting it, etc. like that. And normally how well a show does a theme actually does determine if it’s a theme of the show. But TOH states it. TOH makes it explicit. They have, in multiple episodes, stated as a thesis of the show, character arcs, etc. like that, in the text of the show, that this is a theme. That this is the point. That there are consequences to you living out your fantasy and denying reality. It makes arguing that it doesn’t impossible because the writers make it clear that this was part of the intent. Much like how you have to judge Eda, King and Luz’s relationship as found family rather than just as friends because the show makes them explicitly a family. Explicitly tries to make itself about found family. Regardless of how true that is.

It’s another one of those elements of the show that make it appear to be BEGGING to be analyzed. After all, most shows prioritize, I dunno, showing off their concepts more than their themes because the concept matters more. The themes people get out of the work is a secondary, more academic enjoyment. This is, yes, normally considered a higher class of enjoyment but I think as a content creator, if that’s your focus then you need to get your head out of your ass unless you are explicitly writing something that’s trippy as balls where the symbolism is also the substance. An adventure, comedy show for kids is not that. The themes should be a secondary priority after just telling a good, engaging, morally rich narrative. Avatar the Last Airbender has themes but when the show starts, those aren’t the point. It’s about meeting Aang, Zuko, Sokka, Katara, understanding their dynamics, understanding their world, their viewpoints etc. like that. It focuses on engaging you through these elements before it gets into its deeper lessons or goals. Even then, those elements are usually still explicitly tied to the characters. Episode 2 of TOH doesn’t do that though. Most of the elements in that episode will be contracted by season 2 (cool to be threatening the child you adopted with rent Eda. Real cool.), we don’t learn much about any of these characters that we didn’t know from the first episode, it doesn’t really establish their dynamic because S1 struggles to have a dynamic with the three of them because Luz is so busy with Hexide stuff and so... The point to the second episode is about that theme. About having a message of “There are no chosen ones” and “Luz, you can’t treat this like you’re the hero in a fantasy book.” And the only reason I’m not commenting on how much the finale is a complete failure of these themes is because I’m waiting until Saturday to do that. But trust me, a show as loud and blunt as TOH as to have thesis statements in the show really couldn’t finish without admitting it had failed to stay on point, somewhat like this rambling blog. And a final note while I’m rambling: It is good for stories to have themes. I’m not saying they shouldn’t. Some will even state their themes, like Amphibia did at the end of its series. But... They usually do it at the end either from a position of strength where they can go back, evaluate their story, etc. like that and say it with confidence, or it can feel like they’re pulling nothing out of their ass right at the end to act like there was a deeper point to the story. TOH is more unique in that it pulled shit out of its ass MID STORY and then didn’t follow up on it. It knew, explicitly, what it wanted its themes to be and still failed to properly follow through or execute on the majority of them and that’s MIND BOGGLING. After all, if you have a theme in mind, your narrative and characters should support that. And I hope I’ve made it clear how much that’s not the case, bare minimum with this theme. ======== I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too.

[maleyanderecafe]

Did you make a post for Parasite in Love? I'd definitely say Niall is a delusional yandere, and there's partial voice acting >:3c

I have played See Thru: Need A Friend and I wrote a recommendation on it so you will probably see that tomorrow. Since I got two asks for Parasite in Love, I'll just merge them together to answer it. It seems to be pretty popular lately, I see it pop up now and then.

The premise of Parasite in Love is about a parasite that infects a girl named Marlowe and her trying to survive it. After taking a dive into a freshwater lake while in a cabin, Marlowe gets infected by a parasite. This parasite seems to have gained some sentience, manifesting himself to Marlow as a humanoid being named Niall. Niall takes on the persona of being a husband, feeding on Marlow's desire to have her own family, all while slowly killing her. There are about four endings, of which there is only one where Marlowe survives.

If Marlowe feeds into the idea that Niall is a husband, she will pretend to be okay with him, all while Niall makes her weaker and weaker. Niall presents her their "children" and tries to take care of her, having her eat so she can regain strength and removing any additional pain/nausea that Marlowe might feel. In the end, Marlowe is too sick to move, and Niall promises that the two will be happy in death together.

If Marlowe rejects Niall, she will push him away, being generally rude to him as he is the one who is killing her. Niall seems begrudgingly unhappy with this situation, but for the most part doesn't make it worse for her, at least until the point where he snaps. Getting Niall angry results in Marlowe's condition worsening because of the pain, causing Niall to cry out in disbelief and what he's done before the two once again die together.

For Marlowe to survive, she tricks Niall into making him and their children return to the lake. She shows that Niall doesn't know how to be a father, citing her own father protecting her to prove to him, saying that a father is someone who is willing to sacrifice for their children, and that if she dies, their children will die as well. She proposes that Niall and their children return into the lake, promising that when she regains strength again, she will return so they can be inside her again. Niall agrees to this and after successfully Marlowe is able to finally be free of her parasite. If she is too weak, she drowns, with Niall crying once again at her fate.

For a game jam created game, Parasite in Love is both wonderful in conception and in general aesthetics. The artwork is very pretty with the great touch of having the UI and Marlowe's surroundings being slowly deteriorated as she grows weaker. Niall as a design is also very well made, looking humanoid while also alienlike, as he is drawing from one of Marlowe's memories of her crush while still retaining his parasite nature. I also do like how they do the saves and each day passing, feeling like we're looking under a microscope.

Marlowe is a very good protagonist. We learn early on that she has a hard time connecting with other people, or rather wants to be able to connect with them closer, and having a cute relationship with her father as well, something that she emphasizes on doing after the ending where she survives. She wishes to have a family, which is what Niall feeds on when she gets infected. Throughout the routes, she is always trying to find a way to stay alive, and even when she fails, she is keenly aware of what Niall seems to be able to do like being able to read her mind or his general attachment to her. I think the way she was able to manipulate her in the ending that she survives in was also very clever, using Niall's love for her and their family to get rid of them. Makes you wonder what would happen if Marlowe ever returns into the water. I was surprised that she actually did have a voice to some degree, but it was a nice surprise.

Niall is also pretty interesting as a concept. As a parasite, he's pulling on Marlowe's memories as a way to make himself more appealing to her despite the fact that he's killing her. It makes you wonder if he really does care about her or if it's a survival tactic to keep himself alive and to multiply. While he does seem to know that he is killing her to some extent, the way that he acts is very distant about it, attempting to make Marlowe eat despite the fact that he is the one that is actually killing her. He seems very genuinely upset if Marlowe attempts to push him away and is seemingly very sad when he leaves into the water. I always think that having yanderes that are not human are fascinating (things like parasites, aliens or machines) since it makes you wonder if they actually do feel love for the person or if it's another factor, whether it be something that's programmed into them, something that they're assimilated from the person they're infecting or are using to survive. I always find that those kinds of ideas are really fun to explore.

It does make you wonder if the other people who were infected by this parasite had similar experiences, like having them imitate a loved one. I wonder what would have happened if Marlowe didn't like kids and how Niall would have changed to accommodate that. How did the other four that supposedly survive manage to live and if this is an experience that is exclusive to Marlowe, could it happen again? And why did it happen? These are a lot of questions that the game makes me think about.

Overall, I do think its a very spooky and good game, from the graphics, concept and general story. It's a fun game to play for Halloween, so perhaps give it a try.

[phoebified]

HUGELY LONG POST INCOMING wait mobile has readmores now wtf anyway this is abt new story quest spoilers ahead

thoughts thoughts thoughts... i liked the new quest! i definitely do still get the "this could be more" feeling i tend to get with newer SSO quests -- they tend to exist in that sweet spot between there being not enough tech in a quest and that forcing you to sort of use your imagination and just enough tech to make it really satisfying that leaves it feeling juuust not quite right in a few spots. THAT BEING SAID, it was so much better this quest than it has been in the past. i definitely felt like there was some on the fly world building that was very jarring, but i can't place exactly why that is as it's just so hard to keep up with SSO lore with all the old quests you've done being unplayable. i'm sure it would be kinda hard for them to make a quest library in this moment with how things are optimized, but my god, it'd be so helpful.

so what i didn't like: the tree?? segment??? where you could only ask "some" questions... this was a little misleading to me because i really thought they were gonna make us choose which questions to ask? but that wasn't the case. i felt really confused by this immediately after doing it, and when this was prefaced before the interaction became available, i kinda rolled my eyes because i thought there would be obvious "right" choices and obvious "wrong" choices. so i was really confused at the wording and then at how you could actually just ask *all* the questions. maybe if they had told us we can only ask 4 it would have felt... no, actually, i'm thinking about that and it still is a weird stipulation to then throw out the window. that being said, ignoring that issue, i did like that "is there anything you're worried about?" was ACTUALLY the question you had to ask. i'm sure i could've picked that up from context clues if i hadn't already forgotten the last quests since i played them LOL my memory is NOT what it used to be.

what else... i didn't really like the runestone rising up from the ground. i FW suspension of disbelief, but this had me neutral facing rolling my eyes and shit. also, i learned the hard way you should have winter snow turned OFF for maximum quest effect... i figured they'd have accounted for players still playing with snow on since it came out during winter. this is NOT a deal breaker for me, it's unrealistic to put out a story quest and account for all the future players who *might* play it during winter (i'm thinking in the future, like, several months from now, or 2 years or so). that being said, DID jar me. watching katja run across ice that was very much also traversible for me as well and have the game be like "see? they're escaping!" was so awkward i restarted the game without finishing the quest so i could re-do it with snow off.

what i DID like: THAT ENDING CUTSCENE WAS SO FUN!!! it was fucking hilarious to see nasty dusty gross weird awkward mr sands there i won't lie but like even still, considering SSO's usual animation limitations, especially in cutscenes, i was blown away. and erissa's little cartwheel was so cooooool and so fun and cute i LOVED IT. and with regards to animations, i DID notice when they gave alex a less LOUD talking animation a while back, and when they gave anne that awkward smile (that she used WAY too much and at rather odd times during this quest), like those small details always stick out to me. i really loved it, i loved the FRAMING??? of the cutscene??? i got like super into it it was so cinematic and fun! i had just been rolling my eyes so hard at sso's nearly condescending comebacks in some of the dialogue writing (c'mon, not even kids think that's cool. well maybe some do, i was a cynic as a child) but the cutscene's cool factor immediately won me back. so dope!

i partially loved and partially hated the stuff from the hollow woods being an important part of the quests... on one hand, it's super cool to see them adding in new mechanics, even if they're ones not everyone has played with yet. On the other hand, though, it was a little odd to just like, do a rune puzzle. very strange. i've already talked about this though, so let me get back on track. collecting the sun energy was way more druid training, which i still do like the inclusion of, so while it did feel a little shoe-horned in, i do love that SSO is trying to make the game more game-y.

Overall, I liked it fine. i do think there's still room for improvement, obviously, but i also see how creative they're getting with what once was considered a very *static* game, so that's super dope. oh, and i LOVE erissa so far. her presence is so fun and i'm so excited because i know she's gonna appeal to SO MANY weird kids like i was as a child. and, restating this again, i'd really love if they took chiyo's model and put her in the game as a new npc. i think that would be so cute and fun. she is in DIRE need of some new clothes IMO and also her face could be um... a little different i guess? you all have probably seen my thoughts on her (once more it's more about context than how she *flat out* is, minus her clothes) but yeah. i think it'd be so fun to have more characters like that, unique and cool and weird. i know i'm getting on a totally different tangent now, but i really would love to see chiyo as a cool japanese kid who's like, i dunno, into creepy cute stuff or whatever. like kimokawaii (But don't get crazy, i don't mean in a weeaboo way) emo, or maybe just an awkward artsy emo kid, or an emo kid who's actually really friendly but tries to be broody to fit in or some shit. i would've eaten that UP as a kid. would be a cute questline too like she could realize she could be happy go lucky AND an emo or something. you help her embrace herself yadda yadda, food for thought!

back on track now, overall i definitely feel like SSO's lore is getting mega murky, and in an effort to make it clear by redesigning starter quests (WHICH, BY THE WAY, I ENDED UP LIKING A WHOLE LOT) it has sorta wrapped back around a bit? like i feel like there's a little less *punchiness* to the quests now. like... these weird teens would NOT be this good at communicating. more mess, more drama, more rudeness and emotions before thoughts. i can see sso hinting at this in lots of dialogue, even in this quest! but it just always feels like... the HINT of issue rather than anything actual. y'know, like, they're teens! but maybe the writing has always been like this and i'm just older now. but yeah, the lore is definitely getting kinda odd to me. i'm sure they'll find ways to fix it all up and tie it in together, but y'know. it's messy. very messy.

overall, generally speaking, i enjoyed. curious to hear everybody's thoughts! wondering how the DC oil rig thing will work out in the open world sense -- i assume you can keep going to it up *until* these quests, but i'm unsure.

[superrstars]

poppy playtime chapter 3 spoilers ( i am watching a lets play, this is a live blogging)

bioshock vibes with the radio messages.

seems pretty spooky so far. though, man, the escalation is pretty quick. poppy playtime is doing its best to beat the 'horror for children' allegations it seems.

like, the line about the dead kid in the duffle bag really isn't even. that horrifying as far as horror games go, i think? but it caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting it to be that blunt about it.

ah. the huggy from the trailer IS, in fact, a hallucination. cool

oh! kissy missy! cool! i wonder if they're going to get into the horror of Her existence. There seems to be some strong implications here.

ah. we're getting to actually hear the children talk now. that's gonna help with the horror escalation. before the kids were just... an implied reality. didn't have to really face it deeper than a surface level awareness. with visuals or audio of the kids? that is gonna help make things a lot more scary.

have the devs said how many chapters this game is going to be?? i wonder how much more there is planned for this.

wanted to make a 'would you rather be stuck in the superstar daycare (fnaf) or playcare (ppt)' but like. objectively superstar daycare is better. fazbear ent is not intentionally trying to murder children like, as a whole, they just keep having rabbit-dressed people kill people in their establishment. playtime co is actively and intentionally murdering people as a whole.

unfortunately, i gotta say, ppt is starting to fall into the batim... 'this building could not possibly be this big'. it reminds me of portal in a way, and I've never questioned how big the aperture building was, but thats because its Comedic. I am having trouble suspending my disbelief on playtime co being able to make this much underground factory without the world knowing that they HAVE that large space, even if not whats down there. batim escaped this by being semi-reality, and aperture is. comedic. but ppt has yet to justify itself to my brain. small thing though, unimportant.

oh kissy and poppy time! hi!

oh, player got tortured? interesting. mommy long legs also said player worked there, though. interesting.

(GASP) THE MIMIC PROTOTYPE!!

he trapped poppy in the case? also wow, 'god awful'. I was caught off guard by that. just didn't think she'd use that. phrase?

oh hey! huggy confirmed dead! rip huggy boy.

ollie why do you speak like dora explaining what us kids at home should do. who are you. what are you.

'why does catnap avoid the school?' because it used to be a kid. I would avoid it too.

hm. okay well dawko's title sorta spoils the name of the shadow lady from the trailer. but okay. oh wait no its brought up in the game like two minutes in. fair enough.

ohh she knows us too and also confirms player used to work there. is miss delight like. an actual person???

Ah. wanting to murder all of the children. Well, hello Mrs Afton, I guess.

oh nope she is a toy. i think? she has a cut out. probably a toy. oh. yep thats a toy. has a lights on lights off weeping angel mechanic too. neat. not that scary to me, though. partially because i cant get a good look at her dang design. partially because she's so brightly colored. sorry girl the bright blonde hair is not helping your fear factor. dawko disagrees with this opinion evidently lol.

oh oof she keeps clipping through a closed door. with her mechanic, in such a tight space, doesn't seem fair. rip dawko.

why does she have that moon laugh.sfx i know, unfair comparison, but it just sounds so much like moon's laugh but. female voice actor.

dawko brings up lack of checkpoints, and that paired with the clipping through closed gate thing makes me thing the devs thought this segment was a lot easier than it seems to actually be. partially because of that clipping bug, probably.

end of liveblogging part 1

[eledritch]

hi ele!

i’m a fan of your writing, mostly your voltron fics but i’ve also read your dragon age, critical role, and captive prince stories, they are all so fucking good. where do i go to join your cult? /j

you’re insanely creative in your AUs or plot ideas, from plant porn to beauty in the beast with vampires but also magic schools with magic goddesses and incubi and cambions!

i was just wondering what inspires you when you’re coming up with ideas for fics and what normally comes first to you, the setting or plot or something else? plus, how did you develop such a strong sense of characterization? because across alternate universes and in every different life, your characters are so consistent and recognizable.

another way your creativity shines is the world building in your fics, it is always so fascinating and effortless, it’s a tantalizing background that really hooks me into the world of your stories. i don’t know if you have more notes on world building that didn’t make it into your fics but please know i would sell my soul for a napkin of extra notes for your fics. do you world build as you write or plan it in advance? and do some things you consider fic-canon not make it into the final edit or do you try to work everything you have in?

i know this is a lot, i’m very interested in your writing methods and how you develop so many amazing stories sorry! thanks for your many years of amazing writing and the time it took you to read this ask XD

Hi wow this is all so kind of you to say!! I'm so glad you enjoy my writing <3

so, I would say that usually when I am starting on a new story, I start with the characters and think about what kinds of situations, settings, conflicts, genres, themes, etc I want to write them in. Fantasy is one of my favorite genres because in many ways it feels the most flexible -- I am probably halfway between a pantser and a plotter in terms of story-planning, so I enjoy having space in my plots for them to change if I feel like they need to. I usually know the ending early on in the process tho.

Worldbuilding is one of my favorite aspects of writing and partly why I am so partial to writing AUs. I tend to do more planning for the worldbuilding up front than I do with the plot: my story worlds are scaffolds on which I can build the plot, if that makes sense. I've loved worldbuilding since I was a kid, and I think the best advice I can give for how to build story worlds is to read a lot of books. Books I read as a kid still influence how I worldbuild today (a few that come to mind are the Redwall, Series of Unfortunate Events, Narnia, & May Bird books), as well as videogames (Dragon Age always), places I've actually been, and honestly my academic reading/writing also definitely influences my creative writing, i.e., when thinking about how to write about social conflicts and cultural norms and especially colonization/empire in the worlds I write stories about.

For writing both characters and worldbuilding, I think it's really key to figure out how to suspend your readers' disbelief, and this starts with suspending your own disbelief. You have to believe in the worlds and characters you create. This means being comfortable with writing your characters in all kinds of situations, because people only show a lot of aspects of themselves (and therefore seem like real people, because people & their personalities & motives & backgrounds are complex) if they experience a lot of things. This may be why I gravitate towards writing stories with more dramatic tones and plots, because I find it much more fun to figure out characters by stressing them out. Seriously, I think characters solidify when they're placed in wild situations lol! And these don't necessarily need to be really serious perilous situations, but rather events and conflicts that fundamentally challenge the characters and force you to imagine how they might react in ways that feel true to how you've written them.

For example, one of my favorite character types to write is "kind of a bitch but like, a complicated bitch and kind of justified in their bitchiness because they're going through some stuff." Laurent from Captive Prince definitely falls under this; Keith from VLD, Essek from CR, and Astarion from BG3 also fit into this category (albeit all in really different ways and shades of bitchiness haha). I find these characters fun to write because they're characters who should probably change -- they also have clearly defined flaws and desires, which is great when you have to create a conflict and keep readers engaged/make readers get attached to these characters.

It's tough to root for a character who is consistently a bitch, never feels bad about it, has no reason for being that way, is never critiqued by other characters about it, and is not influenced to change by the narrative at all. It's a lot easier to root for a character who has some kind of inner conflict going on which is complemented by the outer conflict/s of the story. I'm especially fond of characters who have trust issues, because this is a flaw that obviously lends itself well to romance plots, but also can have some very interesting backstory implications and lead to really dynamic yet believable character development, as trust can be built incrementally and also wax and wane in a way that feels natural and builds narrative tension in a compelling way. It also allows you to work on other characters, since trust requires at least two people :)

Thank you for your questions!! I'm sure this is all over the place (it's finals week and dear god grad school finals week is actually hell) but best of luck in your own writing and I hope to share more fic soon~

[sequinsmile-x]

I Know the End - Find a New Place to be From

She wishes they’d met earlier, that they’d had more time. Meeting him here, at the end, was cruel even by the universes standards.

A Hotchniss on the run AU, told in 3 4 parts

Series Master List

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: None for this chapter, but see master list for tags for previous chapters

-x-

Before you all yell at me, which I know I deserve, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Lina. Who, months ago, when I said "I don't know if I should give them a happy or a sad ending in this one" replied "...why not give them both."

(She also convinced me to make you wait a month for this just so you know.)

So, here we are. The actual ending to this fic, and the happy ending that was the plan all along.

-x-

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Somewhere in Germany 

It was bitterly cold. The kind of weather that you felt in your bones, sinking deep into your very being, only seeping its way out hours after you find warmth. 

Her mother hated the cold, and it showed in her assignments. They never stayed somewhere cold in the winter, always going to warmer climates just as the seasons changed. As she pulls her coat tighter around her, adjusting her hat on her head, she thinks her mother may have been on to something. 

She’s almost made it home, the short walk from the local store to their small house seemingly longer in this weather, when she hears a noise, whining that she initially puts down to the wind whipping around her hair. Then she hears it again, and she stops, turning in the direction of it. 

“Hello?” She calls out, the snow-covered street empty apart from her. 

She’s immediately on edge. Even though the danger was long gone, more than a year since they’d found themselves moving here, she still felt like she was being followed. The familiarity of fear was almost too much of a comfort for her to fully let it go after so many years of it chasing her like a shadow. She walks in the direction of the sound, and she almost turns back but she hears it again, the noise clearer, the whining now a soft meow. 

She sees the tiny cat, its black fur standing out against the snow, as soon as she registers what the sound is. 

“Oh hi buddy,” she says, kneeling down to offer it her hand, surprised when the cat immediately approaches her, considering her to be less of a danger than the cold, “you must be freezing.” She picks him up and tucks him into her coat, something she knows a certain someone would raise an eyebrow at if he was around, “I’ll take you home.” 

The cat burrows into her, seeking the warmth under her coat and it makes her laugh as she continues walking, now more keen than ever to get home. 

“Where did you come from, eh?” She says, looking down at him, “You don’t have a collar so I don’t even know your name,” she makes it to her front door, and digs through her pocket for her keys, “Mine’s Emily.” She shakes her head at herself as she walks in through the door, partially to rid her head of the snowflakes that had fallen into her hair, partially at her own behaviour, “I can’t believe I’m talking to a cat.” 

“Sweetheart, that didn’t take as long as I thought it would,” Aaron calls from inside the house, walking towards the front door to greet her. 

“I was only going to get bread, honey,” she replies, unzipping her coat but keeping hold of the cat, who was purring against her. 

She looks up at Aaron and sees the way he’s looking at her, amusement and disbelief in equal measure on his face as he raises an eyebrow at her. 

He was different now, and it wasn’t just the beard she’d convinced him to grow out or the more casual clothes he wore these days. He was more relaxed here, something about him that she had never seen before they escaped. He smiled more, an edge of sadness to it that he would never fully shift, he’d lost too much for that, but he was happy. They both were. 

“I didn’t realise they sold cats at the store, that must be a new range.” He quips as he walks towards her, taking her hat off for her before he leans in to stamp a kiss to her lips, eyeing the cat curiously. 

She narrows her eyes at him, “He was out in the cold all by himself, was I supposed to leave him there?” 

Aaron sighs jokingly, and shakes his head at her, reaching for his coat, “I guess I’m going back out to get supplies for the cat.” 

Emily smiles at him, reaching up to kiss him, more insistent this time, “I love you.” 

“Yeah,” he replies, smirking as he shrugs on his coat, “I love you too.”

___

They’d barely made it out with their lives, a gamble they took that almost hadn’t paid off. 

Aaron got hurt during their escape, a burn on his arm that he refused to go to the hospital for, worried it would get them caught out after they’d only just escaped. She’d treated it, barely sleeping the first couple of nights as she kept an eye on him, fear that she might lose him anyway climbing up her throat. 

The passports had been absurdly easy to get, the guy she’d bought them from keen to help once she’d told him how much she was willing to pay. They’d burnt them the second they could after they arrived in Germany, left in ashes just like their old lives. Leaving them with the chance to start again. 

She taught English to the local children, and Aaron became a defacto handyman. Her family money paid for their home, the quiet life they now lead, dead to everyone who had ever known them, and their jobs gave them something to do. 

It wasn’t the life either of them had expected, but it was something. A level of peace that had seemed impossible for so long. 

It was quiet, almost boring sometimes, and they treasured every second. 

___

Aaron sighs as he looks at the small cat curled up in front of their fire, already making himself quite at home. 

He seeks Emily out, already knowing where he’d find her despite the cold, and he smiles when he’s proven right, the door of their bedroom that led out onto the balcony slightly open. He grabs a thick blanket off of the chair they keep in the corner and heads outside, unable to stop the deep breath he pulls in as the cold air surrounds him.

She turns to look at him, a soft smile on her face before she turns back to look at the view, the mountains they lived under illuminated as the sun sets behind them. She has a mug in her hands, steam from her drink rising from it, and no coat. 

“It’s freezing, Em,” he says, walking over and wrapping the blanket around his shoulders before he puts his arms around her, pulling her back into the warmth of his embrace and the thick fleece around them both. “I know,” she replies, leaning back into him, “I just like the view.” 

“I know you do,” he says, kissing the side of her head, “your cat is asleep by the fireplace.” 

She chuckles, “Er ist unsere Katze”

Aaron sighs, pressing his forehead into her temple, “Sweetheart, I don’t speak German.”

“I do know that, but we live here,” she replies, tilting her head to look up at him, a sparkle in her eyes that had the same effect on him as it had the very first time he’d seen her. They were so young then, stupid too. The kiss they’d shared was something he’d thought back on over the years. He often wondered where life would have taken them if they’d got together then. 

“Some of us don’t take to languages as easily as you do,” he replies, and she laughs at him. 

“Wenn du nur mit jemandem zusammenleben würdest, der es dir beibringen könnte.”

“Em-”

“Sorry,” she says, switching back to English in a way he envied. It was one of the many things he loved about her, her intelligence, how adaptable she was. “You will have to learn eventually though.” 

She shivers in his embrace, his never-ending warmth and the blanket no longer keeping the winter chill out.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her, “we should head inside.” 

___

Emily walks out of the bathroom, quickly making it across the bedroom to sneak under the covers, seeking out the warmth. The cat is curled up and fast asleep on Aaron’s chest, and she scoffs as she settles against Aaron, her hand resting on the cat as she scratches at his head.

“Typical, I rescued him and you’re immediately the favourite.” 

Aaron chuckles, wrapping his arm tighter around her as she gets closer. She throws a leg over his hips, her head on his shoulder, and she reaches for his hand, tangling their fingers together. 

“I think it’s got everything to do with the fact I’m a walking furnace and it’s below zero outside.” 

She hums, as if considering his comment, “True, it’s the only reason I keep you around.” 

She shrieks, briefly disturbing the cat, as he digs his fingers into her ribs, tickling her in retribution. Once she’s settled back down she holds Aaron’s hand again, her fingers fiddling with the ring he wore on his left hand, the matching one on hers. 

They weren’t married, not legally. They made the decision that they didn’t want to draw too much attention to themselves, to do anything that would have people asking questions. By the time they bought their home, choosing the town they now lived in to settle down, they had already bought the rings. They’d slipped them onto each other's fingers with little fanfare, knowing they were as committed to each other as two people could be, not needing a slip of paper or a signed document to prove it. 

Everyone they now knew assumed they were married, and they never corrected them. Referring to each other as husband and wife naturally. 

“We should name him,” she says idly, her eyes fixed on the cat.

“Do you have any ideas?” 

“Sergio,” she says quickly, looking up at Aaron, noticing the amused smile on his face as she half-shrugs, “It suits him.” 

Aaron looks at the cat before looking back at her, “I guess it does, Sergio it is,” he says, a smile on his face that looked almost remorseful. 

“What is it?” She asks, untangling her hand from his to cup his face, her thumb tracing at his jaw, his beard rough against her skin. 

He clears his throat, his eyes meeting hers, “I actually suggested Sergio to Haley as a name for Jack before he was born,” he chuckles humourlessly, the sound caught in his chest, “She said no immediately.”

It feels like a punch to the gut, just like it always did when he mentioned the son he had lost. If there was one thing she would change for him it would be to give him his son back, the young boy she would never get to meet but felt like she knew from everything she had heard. 

“I’m sorry honey,” she says, her thumb briefly tracing his lower lip, “We don’t have to call him-”

“No, I think we should,” he replies, turning his head to kiss her palm, “It’s a good memory, not a bad one, and you’re right,” he flicks his eyes down to the cat, “it suits him.” 

She keeps looking at him, her eyes desperately searching his to try and see if he was just trying to make her feel better, but she finds nothing other than what she usually sees. Love. Understanding. 

Everything she’d spent her whole life looking for. 

Something that felt worth faking her death, twice, to find. 

“Ok,” she says eventually, pulling his head down to kiss her, “Sergio it is.” 

She snuggles into his side, content to just lay with him in their bed, with their new cat. Aaron’s hand trails up and down her back, the silence around them comfortable. 

“Sometimes, I can’t believe we got here,” he says, and she wonders if he even meant to speak out loud. She kisses his shoulder and holds him a little tighter. 

“Me neither,” she replies, her smile pressed into his t-shirt, “Sometimes I wonder if I’m going to wake up,” she admits, shifting to look up at him again, “That this will all have been a dream, and I’ll be in a crappy motel in Texas the night after seeing you in that bar.” 

He nods, understanding what she means, not a stranger to that feeling himself, “It’s not a dream, I promise,” he says, tucking some loose hair behind her ear, “If it was, we’d somewhere less cold.” 

She laughs, bright and beautiful, and it’s enough to wake Sergio up, the cat immediately jumps up and leaves the room. She shakes her head as she watches him go, taking the opportunity to climb on top of Aaron. She ensures the covers are still over them both, and his hands land automatically at her waist. She leans forward and kisses him, her lips firm against his. She barely pulls back enough to speak, her breath skipping across his face. 

“I have some ideas on how we can stay warm.” 

Aaron already feels warmth spread through his body, his hands insistent as they move to her hips, pulling her closer. He looks over at the clock, lifting his eyebrow as he looks at the time. 

“Em, it’s 1 am.”

“So?” She replies, kissing him again, “We have all the time in the world.” 

He smiles up at her, and pulls her down to him, kissing her as he rolls them, his weight pressing her into the mattress. 

“Who am I to argue with that?” 

He kisses her, and everything else disappears. 

-x-

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[mycomfortblanket]

"I really dislike you," // "Oh, so you don't hate me anymore?" Jetkka @krastbannert

It's hard trusting Jet again after everything that they have been through, but the determination on his face as he stares down at a map is making Sokka pause. He seems more adrenalized about finding Appa than the rest of them have felt for a few weeks now. The renewed energy is kind of refreshing. 

"Are you sure you know where to look?" Sokka glances down at the map and back up at Jet's face skeptically. His eyes travel along his jawline and take in the windswept look of his hair. Since the Freedom Fighters found them, Jet has been without the piece of hay in his mouth and he honestly looks better without it. It doesn't pull the gaze away from the way his lips are constantly on the ready to turn up into a smirk nor does it distract from the hungry, predatory gleam that seems to only be in his eyes when he looks at Sokka. 

"I don't know exactly what it is, but trust me, I'll know when I see it," Jet says determinedly, not looking toward him.

"Yeah, trust you. That's something we won't have a problem doing," Sokka hears Katara mutter from across the room and knows that Jet must have also heard it but is seeming to ignore the comment. 

Aang walks up on the other side of Jet's shoulder and looks down at the map as well, confusion furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at the crisscross of the city streets. His eyes drift back up and again, he follows the cut of his jaw and the hunch of his shoulders as he studies the map. Suddenly, Jet's hand shoots down onto the table to point at something causing him to jerk out of his staring situation. He's pointing at a particular street that dead ends at a lake. "Here, Lake Laogai."

"Lake Laogai, yeah, that doesn't sound fake," Katara says sarcastically under her breath but she walks over to look at the map as well. 

"Didn't we go there once? There wasn't anything but a partially dried-up lake and some dead shrubs," Toph calls from the other room. They can hear her digging through the extensively stocked cabinets for some food. Something is continuously crashing to the floor as she continues to search for something particular. 

"It's under the lake," Jet murmurs. 

The crashing in the kitchen stops and a few seconds later, Toph emerges from the kitchen, "I'm sorry, I was in the other room in pursuit of something, I think I misheard. Did he say 'under the lake'?" She asks, disbelief lacing her words. 

~~~

As Toph opens up the tunnel that will take them down to the interconnecting channels of the underground compound, Sokka whistles in appreciation. Already his brain is whirling with the physics that had to go into building something underneath a lake. How strong the stones had to be to ensure that the water above the compound wouldn't collapse the structure. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jet shoot him a smirk, "Told you it was here."

Sokka's appreciation quickly dissipates and is replaced with an annoyed glare that he sends toward Jet, "I really dislike you," he grumbles. 

Jet's smirk deepens and Sokka can feel himself flush from his face down to his chest, "Oh, you don't hate me anymore?"

"Let's just get through this and we can discuss how I actually feel about you," Sokka says, swallowing a little. He looks back over to where everyone is starting to climb down the ladder and into the tunnel when he sees Toph giving him a 'are you serious' look. Shrugging and adverting his gaze, he makes his way over to the ladder. 

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[bamboozled-distress]

It's me, hi, I'm the problem (it's me)

Summary: based on @/idiotinacostume's tiktok, sirius promises James a date with lily and when she refuses he improvises and.. chaos ensues

Read it on ao3 !

warnings: swearing, polyjuice potion, wolfstar not being a thing, yet anyway, you'll see, oh also this is a formal apology to all prongsfoot shippers because well, this is not very pro prongsfoot, james being helplessly in love with lily and me writing this at 2am so this will not be good like at all, also im changing this so that its like that episode of friends where chandler and pheobe go on that date and they try and kiss

"Wait, what?"

Sirius ran his hand through his hair again through pure embarrassment as they stood in the prefects bathroom together with Remus having his arms crossed and Sirius looking at him helplessly partially in love and partially in exasperation. Remus' long fingers clutched the polyjuice potion tightly as he raised his eyebrows not-so patiently waiting for Sirius' response.

"Remember when I had prongs give me breakfast in bed in exchange for me doing him a favour?

"No but sure."

This time Sirius was the one who raised his eyebrows.

"Well if you even cared to pay attention, the favour that I told him I could do was to finally get him a date with Evans."

"Okay now the question I have is why the ever loving fuck you would say that knowing how badly in love with her he is and badly she despises him. Oh and you."

"Not wormtail?"

"No, I actually saw them high fiving earlier it was really weird."

"Circes tit, really?" he breathed out as Sirius put a hand on his hip.

"Yes really, now carry on you twat."

"Alright so, for obvious reasons I could not get her to agree, and as you know quite well a man can not go back on his word."

"You're not a man."

"I am a young man."

"We're 15."

"Fuck you, anyway I promised the poor lad so I've found a loop hole."

"And what would that be?"

Sirius brought out his hands and shook them in a way to show his oh so marvellous 'jazz hands', "me, of course."

"Oh yeah, 'of course' why didn't I think of that."

"Honestly moony, you're clearly not a very bright child."

"Dashing, aren't you."

"Oh moony, you're making me blush, oh stop it you. Anyway, I promised him a date with Lily not a date with the actual Lily so polyjuice will do the trick just fine."

"You're gonna go on a date with prongs," Remus deadpanned as he stared in disbelief.

"Well, you don't have to be so judgemental, am I that unattractive to you?"

Oh if Sirius knew just how attractive Remus truly thought he was, the late nights spent thinking of his star, of the one person he truly knew who he could love with no boundaries, the one person he could never have, because he loved him too much to bring him more pain. The pain he could barely handle himself, he would never bring that onto another no less the person he cared about more than everyone else, if only Remus loved him less than maybe it would stop the ache.

"Yes actually."

Remus is also a pathological liar.

"Will you give me the potion or not?"

Remus handed it over as he rolled his eyes, "when this ends terribly I'll plan the funeral."

"Who's funeral exactly?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Oh thats not ominous at all," after a beat of silence, "thanks for stealing the potion moons."

"Oh it's fine, it was some poor slytherins."

Sirius snorted, "oh what a fine prefect you make."

"The best."

Sirius sat down on the cold tiles, took an inhale closed his eyes and gripping the potion bottle tightly he tugged it down in one go like a vodka shot. With his other hand he plugged his nose and immediately almost threw up afterwards.

"What the hell! Merlins balls that was disgusting."

Remus chuckled on the side as Sirius' pure misery, then it stopped as he saw the transformation. All he could hear were moans and groans from the other lads end but on Remus side he saw the literal transformation of his best friend turning into a woman.

"I, oh my god, are you okay?"

"What the fuck! No I'm not okay, holy shit, I sound like--"

"Lily," they both said in unison, at an instant Sirius dashed towards the mirrors and let out a gasp.

Sirius started feeling up his sides, his arms and forearms and had the biggest grin on his face that looked quite odd on Lily's face in Remus' opinion. He kept looking down and up which was a little disturbing to Remus for some reason.

Sirius stepped back and looked at Remus as he let out a laugh in disbelief as he can't believe what he's about to say, "I, I've got a chicks body, bloody hell moony!"

Remus laughed too and just put a hand on his head cracking up right with him not even being able to think of a sly comeback.

"Shit mate, yeah pads oh my god you look and fucking sound like Lily."

"Oh yeah I do," Sirius stared at him with his classic Sirius black grin, although on a different body Remus could recognize that anywhere.

"Okay okay, will you stop objectifying Lily now," Remus tried to say that with an annoyed tone but he couldn't help the smile in his voice and Sirius could get drunk off of that tone of his voice.

"Oh yes sir prefect, yes I will."

Remus with a wide grin went to look at his watch and went wide eyed, "shit look at the time pads."

Sirius not worried about anything rolled his eyes, "oh but I think you mean Lily."

But then he did look at the time, and rushed out knowing he had to meet James in two minutes, he went to the dorms, quickly put on the girls uniform he had since Marlene lent him hers when he protested against the dress code.

He really did adore that skirt, he loved how it looked on his-, oh he had to run now if he's going to make it to James without being late. He loudly shout 'wish me luck' to Remus and ran past a confused looking Peter, who Remus was very excited to tell about this entire disaster of a situation.

*****

James was waiting patiently at the great hall with a rose in his hand, getting his hopes up every time someone would walk in, he didn't put too much effort into his outfit as he wasn't sure if Sirius would actually manage to get a date with the Lily Evans.

Before he could think of anything else, his heart stopped as he saw a out of breath and yet unmistakingly beautiful Lily Evans walk through the door and as she met his eyes, her magnificent green apple orbs meeting his own, he swooned a little as she rushed her way over.

"Oh my god p-James, I'm so sorry if you've been waiting here for long, I got caught up with Remus and it was this whole thing really."

James smiled fondly at her or well at him, at the rambling and just took her hand and sat her down.

"Oh it's fine really, but are you okay?" He looked all over her, his body rubbing her arms and kneeled down beside her.

"Oh god Lily! How hard did you hurt yourself?"

"What? Are you mad-"

James touched Lily, Sirius' forehead and gasped, "oh god, you've had a terrible fall!"

Sirius, ever confused rubbed his sides self consciously, "no, what? I mean I don't think-, what are you on about?"

Then Sirius got it all too late when he saw the sly smile on James' face, "I could've sworn you fell straight out of heaven," and without missing a beat James had his rose in front of Lily/Sirius and with a wink he added, "angel."

"Oh you twat, you calling me Satan?" Sirius was caught off guard by the pure flirting and knew he had to put himself together and with a small smile he cupped James' hand with the rose and with his other he cupped James' cheek, "or did you want to catch me?"

He watched as James simply tripped on pure air and fall in front of him, and Sirius trying to hold back a laugh raised an eyebrow and to this James brought himself up to his feet and replied, "I was not expecting that."

"What? Weren't expecting to get this far?"

"No. not really if I'm being honest."

"Well, that explains the blushing, your entire face is a cute red, and," Sirius decided to lean in a bit closer, "I bet the rest of you is as well."

Sirius had to stop himself from laughing but oh my god, he wanted to frame this moment. He, Sirius Orion Black has made James more flustered than he thought would even be possible.

"Quite the ladies man you are miss Evans, do you talk to all your dates like this or am I just this special."

"Oh Jamie, you don't know how special you are."

"Oh Evans, if I could rearrange the entire alphabet I would put U and I together."

Sirius let out an unattractive snort, "okay champ."

James let his arm out to reach, "shall we?"

"We shall."

Sirius looked over at James because he was taking deeper inhales then a normal person should and when he asked as to why the only response was, "oh you just took my breath away, if I need CPR I'll let you know."

"How about I steal it again Jamie."

Sirius smirked and James eyed him before shaking his head, "thats for later my love."

"Anything else you're saving for later?"

At this James simply winked at him obnoxiously but narrowed his eyes at him slightly which made Sirius all the more nervous.

"You sure are acting different Lily."

Sirius is now positive James knows that it's him.

"Don't worry handsome, I still think you're a twat."

James knows it's Sirius.

"Oh lovely, let's go to the common room so I can serenade you there." James needed to ask someone about what the hell is going on because he knows thats Sirius and not Lily, and he needs Sirius to tell him, but luck is on his side because Sirius doesn't know that he knows.

"Oh yes, lets. I would love nothing more than for you to serenade me with your beautiful singing voice."

As they walked to the common room arm in arm, Sirius was sweating the entirety there because christ James knows and he is positive that he knows.

"Oh um, James? I need to use the restroom really quickly, I'll be right back."

James waved her off saying have fun as he ran to Peter needing someone to talk to about this.

He hit Peters arm repeatedly as he was repeating his name as well, he was as frantic as ever and just about shook his arms as well, "peter what the fuck do I do mate?"

Peter looked at him questioningly, "what do you need to do?"

James blurted out, "I'm on a date with padfoot!"

"Oh, well I support you mate, terrible choice in men but I'm glad you've moved on from Evans!"

This time James hit Peters arm again but much more harder than before, "no! I'm on a date with Lily but it's not Lily, it's pads but he doesn't know that I know."

"Oh. Because he said he'd get you a date with her?"

"YES!"

"Oh and he took some.. oh I see now. Well shit mate, you're in quite a pickle now."

"Yeah no shit wormtail."

"Well, work with that; he doesn't know that you know so flirt with him make him uncomfortable and then he'll have to confess."

"Easier said than done mate, but.. thats not a bad idea."

"He has no idea so it couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Oh yeah on a date with my best friend pretending to be the love of my life and I have to be romantic with him in order for him to tell me he's not the love of my life, what could ever possibly go wrong!"

Peter stood up, "just here-- let me do this," he unopened the first few buttons to James' shirt and ruffled up his more so then usual, "that should help."

James looked down and simply shrugged and went back to the common room where Lily-- no Sirius, looked frazzled but with intent on his face.

Although, when Sirius ran to the restroom previously James has no idea he grabbed Remus hand and dragged him there with his face looking pale and wide eyed.

"Okay what now," Remus asked with an exasperated sigh.

"I was not prepared for these terrible conditions I've put myself in."

Remus smiled widely, quite mockingly Sirius would like to add, and clasped his hands together, "oh goody. Now what made you have this absolutely absurd observation that I totally did not see forthcoming?"

"I didn't know he was going to flirt with me!"

"On a date? With the girl of his dreams? Oh how dare he flirt, oh gosh. Wow."

"Shut up okay? I need you to shut the fuck up."

"Wait so, what did you do?"

"Flirted back obviously! It's my instinct from when we compliment each others asses, how could I not? But it's more sincere, and just straight up fucking weird."

"Oh, I see the problem, prongs knows."

"Do you know how hard it is for me not to call him prongs! I haven't called him his actual name this many times since the day we first met-- and that was simply out of spite to annoy him."

"Oh what a lovely child you were."

"I'm lovely now too."

"Oh, of course you are Lily."

"I don't want to confess to him that I couldn't get Lily though, I can't give up moonshine."

"But he knows."

"Yeah but, I don't want to lose."

Remus wanted to facepalm, of fucking course Sirius turned this into something it's not, making sure he doesn't face the true error of his ways and instead turning this into something he can fuck around with.

Nothing to unpack there. Nope, not at all.

"Okay fine, so what? You're just going to go on with the date? Pretend nothing is going on and you'll just flirt back?"

"Well yeah, I just need to get through this date before he calls it off and then I'll keep my end of the deal."

"You really are in a fucking mess."

"As per usual."

"Well, you have luck on your side I guess, because he knows that you're not Lily and you know that he knows. However, he doesn't know that you know that he knows."

Sirius turned his head to the side in confusion and Remus wanted to kiss him so badly so he flicked him on the forehead instead.

"He doesn't know what you know, you have the upper hand you imbecile."

"So what?"

"You two are best mates, he doesn't want to romantically be with you, so do what you do best and make people uncomfortable."

"I can do that."

"I know you can."

"Oh, I know you do," at this Sirius winked at Remus.

"Perfect example mutt."

With Sirius flipping him off, he untied his hair and let it roam around as he walked back or more so strutted back knowing his mission at hand.

Which lead him to this moment of Sirius slightly frazzled not knowing how to accomplish his mission at hand but at least having a mission at hand. James then slipped himself right beside Sirius and putting an arm around his shoulder, "you look magnificent Evans."

"You're not too bad yourself."

"No but, you're almost too good to be true, almost as if someones playing a trick on me and it's not really you."

Sirius stared back, his face going white and his eyes going wide and he had no idea how to reply. He knew James knew but he didn't know he was going to make comments like that, it caught him off guard he ran a hand through his hair.

"Well you know I'm completely real and I can assure you if someone was playing a trick on you it would only be from the pure goodness from their heart."

James narrowed his eyes and gulped, "well if it was from the goodness of their heart, they should know it's not a very well thought out trick, sweetheart."

"I think it would be very well thought out, having tricked you to believe it really is Li- me, deer." James knew from the little sneer on Sirius' or well Lily's pale face that he was not calling him a term of endearment but calling him his animagus which James did do a double take and looking back at Sirius he knew the reaction was exactly what he wanted.

James grabbed his shoulder and stood up with mischief in his eyes which for once Sirius slightly feared, "hey someone's playing some music in the corner, let's dance Evans."

Sirius stared back but kept his composure normal, "dance?"

"Well we are on a date after all."

James let out his hand and Sirius took it gracefully, not ready to slow dance with James at all, "oh such a gentlemen."

"My pleasure milady."

Sirius inhaled and let James bring him to a corner of the common room that was unoccupied and allowed himself to put his arms around James shoulders. He was silently cursing out Lily in his head for being so fucking short. All the while James was sweating because he didn't know how to fucking dance and he knew Sirius knew.

"Need a hand, deer?"

"No."

Sirius grinned and looked at the taller lad, "put your hand on my sides you nitwit and just sway."

James closed his eyes and let out a small smile as he let his hands a little lower than what was probably appropriate for two laddy lads doing lad things.

"James Fleamont Potter, I swear to fucking god you put your hands higher or I'll winguardiam leviosa your ass so hard you'll end up on the fucking moon."

"I mean I do love you to the moon and back."

"So are those your last words then?"

James only smiled wider when he put his hands on his sides much higher than it was before.

"You sure know how to dance."

"Well I've had classes and it sure does come in handy when I get to teach pretty boys like yourself Mr. Potter."

"You think I'm pretty?" James smirked a bit.

"The prettiest."

James took his hand off of Sirius' side to flick his hand as he gasped dramatically, "oh, you flatter me."

"Oh when I'm done with you, you'll be better than flattered," Sirius let out a flirty smile hoping to the lords above that James would give up right now and tell him he knows.

"So naughty."

Sirius took an inhale as he gulped knowing where their dancing would lead to on a normal date.

James thought the same thing and almost at the same time they both had an idea where they knew the other would confess, not knowing they both had the same idea.

James gulped as he spoke, "you know this is where, we would usually get to the uh, kissing part."

Sirius froze up hoping he could have brought it up first, "oh I would love to Jamie."

Sirius would not love to kiss him, considering this would be his first kiss.

"Then we should, yes."

James desperately knew they should not. No.

James knew Sirius would give in, because he knew Sirius knew. And Sirius doesn't know he knows that he knows that he knows.

Right?

James could go through with this until Sirius gives up, he could do this, can't he?

Sirius on the other hand knew James would never go through with this, he had this in the bag, he knew James is doing this just to have Sirius give in. He knew James and he knew he would not go through kissing him, he won't chicken out and if it takes him to almost kiss his best mate he would do it.

Sirius black will never lose.

Sirius gulped, "okay let's kiss then?"

James shifted uncomfortably on his feet and licked his lips having his eyed intent on Sirius, begging him to confess first.

"I'm ready mon amour."

Sirius responded dryly, "planning on french kissing me with that terrible accent?"

"You speak french Lily?" James quipped back and seeing that alarmed look on Sirius' face and although those facial features were Lily's the panic was pure Sirius and he inhaled it.

"Er, no but, I'm not an idiot."

James thought that was the most in character thing Sirius has said this entire afternoon.

"Alright, we-- yeah let's do this dream girl."

Sirius closed his eyes and puckered his lip slowly moving forward, to give James time to fucking confess, and to be fair Sirius was getting quite impatient.

James was not giving in, he also leaned forward as slowly as possible closing his eyes tight, hoping and praying for Sirius to give in.

They were leaning forward, lips almost moving off of their faces as Sirius grabbed James shoulders peeking an eye open and saw James doing nothing that looked like confessing.

They wouldn't kiss, they couldn't, Sirius knew James would give in.

Except he didn't.

Sirius' first kiss was James Potter.

James' first kiss was Sirius Black.

Their lips touched and were firmly pressed on each other not one moving to further the kiss, it lasted an entirety of two whole seconds before there was a loud, "fine, you win!"

"I'm not Lily you twat, you mother fucker, you absolute bastard."

James was still puckering his lips when he opened his eyes and finally fucking smiled.

Instead of a response he clapped, "congratulations Sirius Orion Black, you were my first kiss."

"You stole mine you twat!"

"What?! You were the one who leaned in first!"

"You were the one who said we should, when you knew! I thought you'd give in!"

"Well thank you for confessing your sin pads."

Then they heard clapping and both Sirius and James turned around to find Peter and Remus clapping and James raised his eyebrows, "great show you both, truly. Glad you both finally had your first kiss."

Sirius at this bowed to both at them, "and yet no girlfriend."

James plopped himself next to Remus and laid his head down in his lap after the truly traumatic experience that was his first date. Although Remus paid no attention to him and kept his eyes on Sirius.

"Just a girlfriend?"

Sirius exhaled with a shaky breath, "or a boyfriend."

"Good to know," Remus smirked.

Oh Sirius was really doomed.

[nuttersincorporated]

The Narrator Parable Chapter Three

Story Premise: The Player is away and the Narrator is in a bad mood until he comes up with great idea! He’ll take human form and let Stanley tell a story for once. What could possibly go wrong?

Chapter Three: Stanley avoids telling the Narrator what he’s so worried about and the Player gets another ending.

Word Count: 2,806

AN: This is a role swap au that’s also a form swap. It was inspired by the this comic by @celestetcetera about the same premise.

This is unbetaed. If you notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, please feel free to tell me.

Spoilers for Ultra Deluxe.

Narrator Note: Hello reader! Reblog, comment and/or reply to this fanfic earn an achievement! I wonder how many of you actually read these notes. You know what? Bonus achievement if you say ‘Night Shark 1-1-5’

Fanfic start here, last chapter here

Also on AO3

Chapter Three

Stanley found himself once again back in his office. He was standing against the wall, still in shadow form and looking at the Narrator standing where he normally stood.

Stanley sighed as the Narrator started moving automatically. He guessed it had been too much to hope for, that the Player would have left after only one ending.

He followed behind and pressed the right dialog option as the Narrator stepped out into the rest of the office. The Narrator didn’t stop walking as he said,

“All of his co-workers were gone. What could it mean? Stanley decided to go to the meeting room; perhaps he had simply missed a memo.”

The Player ignored the monitors and doors this time and kept moving the Narrator forward.

Stanley raced along the wall to get ahead so that the Narrator could see him when he signed, ‘Are you sure there’s no way to switch us back?’

‘No, Stanley,’ the Narrator told him again. ‘While the Player is here, I’m stuck in this form because I can’t reach any of my controls. You can’t swap us back because I only gave you partial access.’

The Player walked the Narrator past the bucket without stopping again and Stanley winced.

The Narrator saw the wince and mouthed, ‘You did fine last time. I’m sure this will go just as well.’

Stanley shrugged but otherwise didn’t reply. He didn’t want to tell the Narrator that the real reason he’d winced was because he wanted the Player to pick up the bucket. Almost all of the bucket endings were ‘safe’.

Stanley didn’t say anything as the Player walked the Narrator walked past the New Content door and entered the two-doors room. He pressed the dialog option automatically.

“When Stanley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left.”

The Player went left again and Stanley smiled weakly. There were less bad endings to the left.

The Narrator was looking at him in concern again. Stanley tried to make his expression neutral as the Player moved the Narrator into the meeting room.

“Yet there was not a single person here either.

“Feeling a wave of disbelief, Stanley decided to go up to his boss's office, hoping he might find an answer there.”

The Player walked the Narrator over to watch the different slides.

Stanley moved along the wall to stand on the whiteboard so that the Narrator could talk to him if he wanted.

The Narrator watched Stanley for a moment before asking, ‘Stanley, what’s wrong?’

‘What do you mean?’ Stanley asked, though he was pretty sure he knew.

‘You’ve been… off since the Player came back,’ the Narrator mouthed. ‘We were having fun before they arrived. Now you just seem stressed. I expected you to enjoy ‘the tables being turned’ for once.’

‘It’s nothing,’ Stanley signed too quickly.

The Narrator gave him a disbelieving look.

Damn it! Stanley thought. He’d clearly been too obvious if the Narrator was bringing it up.

He sighed. So far during this run, the Player hadn’t done anything too bad. If it stayed that way, the Narrator didn’t need to know what was worrying Stanley so much.

If the Player did do something horrible… well Stanley would cross that bridge when they came to it. Hopefully he wouldn’t need to.

Much as Stanley hated being the Player’s puppet, he was used to it. The Narrator wasn’t. He’d never been the puppet before. He never remembered how badly the Player treated their ‘toy’ or how they used their play thing to deliberately hurt him.

Apart from the awful exception of the Skip Button, the Narrator was always forced to forget. Stanley wished the Narrator could forget that too. It would have been kinder if he didn’t have to remember.

Stanley forced his expression into a scowl, ‘I was having fun before the Player came along. Now I have to stick to the script or you’ll be unbearable about it when they finally leave.’

The Narrator rolled his eyes, seeming to believe Stanley for now, ‘Oh, okay. So, it turns out that you’re just sulking about the Player again?’

‘I’m not sucking! I’m angry.’

Stanley looked up at the ceiling, as if he could see the Player there and shook his fist before stopping and signing, ‘Thanks a lot! You always find a way to ruin everything, jerk!’

‘Stop being such a baby,’ the Narrator mouthed unimpressed. ‘This is a fun new experience. I have no idea why you always complain about it so much.’

‘Yeah, because you just loved being made to crouch in the closet so much last time.’

‘If you had ever told me it hurt, I would have fixed it.’

‘Now who’s moaning?’

‘I’m n…’

Stanley didn’t see the rest of the Narrator’s response because the Player started moving him again.

Good, he’s still treating this like an adventure, Stanley thought. He smiled behind the Narrator’s back before following.

Predictably, the Player took the Narrator straight to the broom closet. They made him open the door and took him inside.

Stanley hit the dialog and the Narrator stood still for a moment as he said,

“Oh, no! Oh, no no no no no no no no no no no no, not again.”

The Player moved the Narrator out and started heading for the stairs as the Narrator continued to speak, “I won't be a part of this. I'm not going to encourage you. I'm n…” the Narrator reached the stairs and Stanley hit the next button making him jump to the new line.

“Coming to a staircase, Stanley walked upstairs to his boss's office.”

Stanley grimaced as the Player headed up stairs.

He hoped that the Player wasn’t going to go to the museum or turn off the mind control machine.

The Narrator didn’t even know that the museum existed and he never remember when the Player chose the Freedom Ending. Stanley had no idea if the Narrator would remember them if he did those endings as the puppet – rather than hid normal role – but the thought that he would remember, worried Stanley.

There were plenty of worse endings than the museum or freedom ones but that didn’t mean Stanley wanted the Narrator to know about them. The Narrator been through enough already. Stanley tried not to think about what the Skip Button had done to him.

Stanley hated the Player more for the Skip Button than anything they’d ever done to him. He didn’t understand why the Narrator had forgiven and still wanted to please them after what he’d been put through.

The Player took the Narrator into the executive bathroom. Stanley went in too.

Stanley decided that he might as well try to enjoy this as much as he could while winding the Narrator up a bit. Besides, the Narrator would start to think something was up again if Stanley wasn’t at least a little bit of a menace.

‘You know, I have dialog options in here,’ Stanley teased, with what he hoped was a natural looking grin, rather than a forced one. ‘I could make a whole new ending! Just like you wanted me to do, before the Player interrupted. The Shit Ending!’

The Narrator glared, ‘DON’T. YOU. DARE!’

The Player walked him out again.

‘How about an Ending in here then?’ Stanley asked innocently.

‘Stanley, if you…’

The Narrator stepped into the boss’ office and Stanley hit the button, interrupting what was sure to be a rant.

“Okay, I think we all know the drill by now. Blah blah blah, dark secrets, the keypad, Stanley pushes some buttons, oh hey, look, it's a new passageway! Quelle surprise!”

The passageway opened and the Narrator walked through. He went straight to the elevator and hit the down button.

At the bottom the Narrator got out and walked forward. Stanley waited a moment longer than he should have before he hit the next dialog button, earning himself another glare from the Narrator.

“Stanley walked straight ahead through the large door that read 'Mind Control Facility'.”

The Player turned the Narrator around, headed back into the elevator and hit the up button. Stanley smiled and made the Narrator say, “Whoops, nope, never mind! Stanley actually got back into the elevator and went back up! Silly me!”

It looked like the Player was going for the Press Conference Ending. It was one of the newer ones and Stanley liked it.

When the Player wasn’t around, the Narrator let Stanley go to the conference room and sit in the empty audience section. Then he’d get to watch pre-recorded conferences or movies on a large cinema screen which lowered from the ceiling.

When the Player was around, nothing bad happened… well, the Bucket Conference Ending always upset the Narrator because it was a projection of own his insecurities[1] but, other than that, it wasn’t a bad ending.

As the elevator went up, Stanley looked at the dialog options. He realised that he could skip the Narrator going up and down twice more and instead, go straight to the Press Conference Ending. He reached out, his hand hovering over the option before deciding against it.

Much as Stanley had teased the Narrator about changing things and making new endings, he didn’t actually want to change anything too much (not counting speeding up or slowed down certain lines), at least not yet. It might encourage the Player to stay longer, as they tried to find all the new changes.

However, if the Player went through the Blue Door even once, Stanley would take them straight to the endings down there, he decided. He wouldn’t risk them taking the Narrator through the Red Door. For now, though, he would stick to the script.

With a sigh, Stanley pressed the normal dialog and the Narrator spoke his lines as they reached the top.

The Player took the Narrator back into the boss’ office and over to the keypad as Stanley kept him talking. The Narrator was made to press the 8 button eight times in a row, then the 3 button three time. After that, the Narrator was taken over to the piano (even though it never worked while the Player was there) and made to press it.

The Narrator finished his dialog but the Player kept pressing the piano keys.

Stanley came over and moved his shadowy fingers over the keys without actually pressing them and moved them as if he was playing the music that played when the Player made him follow the Adventure Line™.

The Narrator stared, ‘Where is that tune from?’

Stanley shrugged and started pretending to play the ‘thinking theme’ – which would play soon enough anyway if they Player kept following this ending – instead. ‘Nowhere, it’s just silly music to lighten the mood.’

‘I… I’m sure I’ve heard that tune before.’

The Player started moving the Narrator again so Stanley quickly slipped onto the floor in front of him and signed, ‘I must have played it before then.’

The Narrator looked unconvinced but didn’t have time to reply. The Player walked him back into the elevator and hit the down button.

Stanley hit a few buttons, the door closed, the elevator started to descend and the Narrator spoke his lines.

When they reached the bottom, the Player turned the Narrator around and made him hit the up button again.

Stanley pressed buttons, the Narrator narrated and they reached the top.

The Player moved the Narrator back into the office. Stanley hit the sound effect button and giggled at it before pressing the next dialog part,

“Oh my god… it’s the boss’ office,” the Narrator said with his normal tone of false, over the top disbelief.

Stanley put his hands to the side of his face and opened his mouth wide, in a parody of shock, before making the Narrator speak again.

“This absolutely changes everything for me,” he said with a sigh. “Give me a time out here while I process this.”

https://youtu.be/mUJeucWQ_0M Stanley made the music play and swayed to the beat.

The Narrator tried to look annoyed but really, he was smiling, ‘I’m glad you’ve cheered up Stanley,’ he mouthed. ‘But please take my job at least a little seriously.’

‘I am!’ Stanley protested. ‘Have I made you seriously go off script yet?’

‘N…’ he began to reluctantly admit but the music ended and Stanley made him say,

“Okay, I’m ready. I’m prepared to embrace this stunning revelation, and move forward with –

“No! No wait! No, I need more time to process.”

Stanley brought the music back.

‘This is one of my favourite tunes from your game,’ Stanley admitted. ‘It’s so light-hearted and silly.’

The Narrator beamed from ear to ear as the admission, ‘Oh, I am so glad! I spent hours crafting and recrafting the perfect music for each part of the story. It’s nice to know it was time well spent.’

The music ended, after Stanley pressed the next button, the Narrator said his lines and the Player took him back to the elevator.

‘Up! Down! Up! Down!’ Stanley signed as the elevator went down yet again and the Narrator talked.

They reached the bottom and, once again, the Player made the Narrator pressed the up button.

Stanley stuck to the normal script until the elevator stopped moving between floors. Then he asked the Narrator, ‘How long do you want to stay here?’

‘Press the button now, Stanley,’ the Narrator mouthed with a glare.

Stanley stuck out his bottom lip, ‘But I thought the anticipation was the best part! That’s what you always say now, isn’t it?’

‘Now, Stanley!’

‘Fine,’ he sighed dramatically and pressed the button to get the elevator moving again.

Stanley made the Narrator say his lines. As he spoke for the rest of the ride, the Narrator couldn’t reply as Stanley signed, ‘See! You just said how much you appreciate the anticipation.’

The Narrator glared harder.

‘Oh, don’t be like that. You like me really and I bet you think other people do to.’

“That why people like you so much Stanley! Because you’re not afraid to spit in the face of tradition.”

‘Oh stop, you, big flatterer.’

Stanley took one look at the Narrator’s face and then bent over double laughing.

When they reached the top, the Player make the Narrator step out onto the red carpet.

The Narrator mouthed, ‘You know, I think I like it better when being all weird about this situation.’

‘No, you didn’t,’ Stanley signed with certainty.

The Narrator sighed, ‘No, I didn’t,’ he agreed. ‘But somewhere between the two extremes would be preferable.’

Stanley shrugged, as the Player moved the Narrator along the corridor looking at posters, ‘I wouldn’t have chosen this but I’m trying to enjoy it anyway.’

They both fell silent as the Player continued to move the Narrator along.

When they reached the end of the corridor, Stanley opened the door and made the Narrator say his lines. He put a hand to his heart and then made a heart shape with both hands when the Narrator said,

“I’m really proud of you Stanley.”

The Narrator rolled his eyes but smiled anyway.

The Player looked at all the notes on the dressing table before taking the Narrator up the stairs to the stage and stepped through the door.

The silhouettes of cheering people appeared before them. As the press conference room was a big one and the Narrator was facing forwards, Stanley slipped onto the floor in front of him so that the Narrator could still see him.

Stanley gave the Narrator a thumbs up and then held his hands together above his head, moving them back and forth in celebration.

The Player moved the Narrator towards the podium.

[1] Not that the Narrator would ever admit that’s what happened*. I’m sure the fact that the Narrator always happened to be in a bad mood after that ending was completely unrelated.

* Hello, Reader. It’s me, the Narrator.

I’m just popping in here to tell you that I have no idea where the Author or Stanley got such a silly idea. Of course, I’d admit if that ending upset me but it doesn’t~. The Bucket Conference Ending is an insightful commentary on creators who rely too heavily on other people having a positive response to their work rather than creating simply for the joy of it.

~ Oh, my foolish little Narrator, you poor deluded thing.

As for you, silly Author, are you really doing this? Footnotes within footnotes? This is The Stanley Parable not the Discworld or The Bartimaeus Trilogy.

soft gentle laughter

Hello Reader, it’s nice to meet you. I live in the Parable too. I run a museum that’s tucked away where the Narrator can’t normally find it. However, he’s really messed up this time and I’m sure he’ll be meeting me soon enough.

[rhinco]

11 22 33 44 and 55 for sander :3

>:) you get a bonus doodle bc i drew him yesterday

and this is gonna get long so im putting the answers under a read more <3

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

ooh this is a fun one >:) something similar to this has actually happened with him and my boyfriend's oc, hamsa (he/riot). they're in an unspecified gay situationship where they definitely hate each other despite spending a lot of time together and teaming up to do various things and hooking up all the time. at some point they're in a situation where there's some kind of shapeshifter that takes on sander's form, and it's your typical which one is the real one situation. hamsa has an instinctive feel for which sander is the real one, but he confirms it by going up to the one riot thinks is fake and kissing him gently and tenderly. when the fake one returns this and seems relieved instead of surprised and caught off guard, hamsa knows he's right, because he and sander don't act that way with each other.

22. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

cooking </3 he would never ever admit that it scares him, but it does (at least some aspects of it) because he can't deal with intense heat on or near his hands. it's also partially because it's just incredibly unfamiliar to him due to having never cooked for himself, so he gets overwhelmed easily, and he's a perfectionist so when something small goes wrong and he can't fix it then it feels like the end of the world.

the reason he can't handle heat directly on his hands is due to something that happened in his backstory, which is the way he became a warlock. it's a veeery long story but the short version is that he was an apprentice to a mage, solaris (any pronouns), for several years. they taught him some basic wizard magic and promised to teach him more, while secretly planning to use him as a sacrifice for a ritual in order for her to make a warlock pact.

(tw: severe burns) the ritual hinged on a breach of trust, and solaris's plan was that sander was naive enough to trust him completely. however, sander's naivety was an act, and he had found some of their plans for the ritual. he couldn't understand all of it, but figured out enough to know that solaris was planning to kill him. sander planned to disrupt the ritual somehow, still not knowing most of the details of it, and when the ritual happened the effect was reversed – solaris trusted completely that sander was naive, and he broke that trust. so, the ritual reversed, with solaris becoming the sacrifice and sander (mostly unintentionally) making a warlock pact. as solaris was dying, they cast a fire spell around sander's hands to try to get him to drop the bowl of components that was an important part of the ritual, and he held onto it despite his hands being burned with hellfire until solaris died.

so, he has severe burn scars on his hands, and wears gloves all the time to cover them. intense heat on/near his hands, especially unexpectedly, can cause him to have a trauma response. and that is my incredibly long answer as to why sander is useless in a kitchen

33. How do they greet someone they dislike / hate?

hmm it depends! he's a very good actor, so if the situation calls for it he can be very polite and amicable, albeit with an undertone of malice. generally he would just greet them with a scowl and an insult, and if he hates them enough then immediate violence <3

44. What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why?

he already speaks a few languages – from dnd, it's common; infernal; undercommon; and some celestial. he also speaks the Generic Standard Sci-Fi Language that everyone can speak in sci fi settings despite the linguistic difficulties of that but yknow suspension of disbelief. he's probably picked up a couple others along the way due to being around for a few centuries and traveling to many different planets. but if we're just talking earth languages, i think he'd easily learn a lot of european languages, because i imagine they're most similar in structure to what he already speaks. if i had to pick one, i think i'd go with german or dutch. (he can also just cast comprehend languages, though).

55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

this is a tricky one because i would describe sander's profession as jack of all trades and he has many hobbies, and i think a lot of the things he dislikes are things you would expect. his job is essentially "i'll help you out with this thing if you can pay me something that's worth it/i can get something equivalent out of it" which covers. a lot of different things. he knows a lot of people and knows about a lot of things. he's the guy who gets called when you need something shady done and someone says "i know a guy".

i think the best answer i can think of for this is that he doesn't really enjoy talking to people and being diplomatic that much, a lot of the time he's itching to just fight them, but he does get a kick out of putting on a persona and successfully lying and manipulating someone to get what he wants, which is what he's doing 90% of the time, so. yknow.