#also people in the comments saying i changed my url because i got called out for it... no i didnt LMAO

[cemeterything]

ew, i didnt this was you: https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F6y1rd6g8ujpb1.png

unfollowing.

lol this got reposted to reddit before and i got armchair diagnosed with every single personality disorder. good to see it's still driving people up the wall for no reason.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | April 1st-7th 2024

MERRY WEEWOO EPISODE DAY!!! I had a fucking terrible stream so I feel like I missed like 90% of buddie's scenes.

No thoughts, head empty, so happy to FINALLY be done with this long ass recap 😆 my ao3 history is very much still fucked. Oh well. Also gonna have to make a separate post for the podfics cause the rec was getting too long, tumblr couldn't handle it 😂

There's a couple of new people in here and maybe some people who have changed URLs, so if you know someone who's not tagged, please tag them in the comments!

Love your tags, comments, reblogs, everything! <3 My ao3 inbox is being SUBMERGED with fics, it's the best problem to have 😂

Complete

I can finally breathe by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (S7E4 Coda, BuckTommy | <1K | General); Buck's oh moment when Tommy kisses him.

and with each one, i'm a little more free series by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S7E4, Coming Out):

oh, bi the way (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Maddie. whenever you're ready (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Bobby. welcome to the club (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Hen.

rebirth by renecdote/ @renecdote (S7E4 Coda | <1K | General): “Bisexual,” he says aloud, just to hear himself say it, to taste the way it feels on his tongue not just as a word but as an identity. It feels like an exhalation, trembling at the edges but not just with fear, or excitement, but with relief. Buck knows what it is like to be reborn, but he has never had a kiss make him feel like this before.

whenever you're ready by honestlydarkprincess (Post S7E4 Spec, Coming Out | <1K | General): Buck comes out to Bobby.

I won't tell no lie by lamardeuse/ @lamardeuse (Post S7E4 Spec, Tommy POV | 1K | Teen): Tommy can't exactly say he's surprised when he opens his door on a Sunday morning to see Hen Wilson standing there. He just wishes he'd thought to put on a cup first because he has a feeling he's about to get kicked in the nuts.

An End Has a Start by eirabach/ @eirabach (S7E4 Coda, Tommy POV, Tommy&Lucy | 1K | Teen): Tommy is one minute late. Hell of a minute, though.

tell me that i'm all you want (even when i break your heart) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (S7E4 Coda | 1K | General): “What’s going on?” “You tell me,” Eddie says, gently. “Buck mentioned you were being a little…odd.” To his surprise, Chris scowls. “I bet he did,” Chris mumbles, scoffing, half-under his breath. Eddie stares at him, taken aback. “Chris? What does that—” “I want you to tell him to leave.” or; buck, christopher and eddie in the aftermath of 7x04.

Sleepy Call by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Pre-Buddie, Fluff | 1K | General): OR: Eddie takes an early morning call.

to loosen his grip by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (S7E4 Spec | 1K | Teen): Eddie's not stupid, and Buck's about as subtle as a brick to the face on a good day. Speculation for 7x04: Buck, Bothered and Bewildered.

babbling brook to nowhere by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (S7E5 Spec | 1K | Teen): Eddie has not stopped talking since they left the restaurant. He thinks that he kind of blacked out during the actual dinner, because he’s not really sure what actually was discussed or how they even ended up sitting next to Buck and Tommy. But as soon as they got back into the truck, it was like the dam breaking loose. “I mean, it’s so great,” Eddie says once they’re back in his bedroom, as he takes his shirt off in the closet. He’s not even paying attention as Marisol perches on the edge of his bed. “They’re two of my friends, it’s awesome.” He’s happy for Buck, because Buck deserves to be with someone who gets him and will love him like he deserves. He just . . . “Is Tommy too tall for him?” Eddie asks. “Like, they’re the same height.”

my heart is working overtime by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (S7E4 Coda | 1K | Teen): He reaches for his phone again, then freezes halfway through his contacts when he realises he can’t call anyone to talk through this. Maddie would kill him for telling her something like this over the phone. For—coming out, he supposes, trying the words on for size. That’s something he does now. As��� He hadn’t really stopped to consider it until now. Bisexual, he thinks, experimental, and it settles somewhere deep inside of him, like there’s been a space waiting for it all along.

“Pops, I’m bisexual.” “Hi bisexual, I’m Pops.” by Maximoff_Wanda (Post-S7E4, Coming Out | 1,4K | Not Rated): Or: Buck comes out to Bobby.

every little thing the sun shows, well it’s worth it by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Post S7E4 | 1,6K | Not Rated): after his kiss with Tommy, Buck goes to Hen.

pythagoras made some points by crimsonclad (S7E4, BuckTommy | 1,6K | Not Rated): Look for the helpers! Sometimes they are all trying very hard to help each other be gay in the correct configurations and doing their best, mostly. Tommy takes Eddie to Urgent Care, takes him home, and carries a message elsewhere in the city of Los Angeles.

Buck's Boyfriends by Tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie | 1,7K | Teen): He’s too drunk to figure out the logistics right now. “I think I’ve been dating both of you.” OR: The one where Buck realizes he's dating Tommy and Eddie.

smile at me like you smile at him by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (S7E4 Spec, Getting Together | 1,8K | Teen): Buck hadn’t planned on doing anything to show his displeasure at the sudden friendship between Eddie and Tommy, despite the fact that it sent hot, furious jealousy coursing through his veins. Really, he hadn’t. It’s just…well, he was just going for the ball during their basketball game…unfortunately Eddie happened to get pushed out of the way in order for Buck to get said ball.

only need the light when it's burning low by fallingthorns (Post-S7E4 | 2K | Teen): Buck blinks and realizes that he could love Tommy, if he didn't already love Eddie.

you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by ummrys (S7E4 Spec | 2K | Teen): Or, Buck gets a little (a lot) jealous of Eddie's blossoming friendship with Tommy Kinard, and makes some bad decisions about it.

detours by oklahoma/ @sunshinediaz (Post-S7E4, 2K | Teen): “Take a detour,” he says, instead. “There’s construction on Sunset.” “Maybe one of these days there won’t be,” Buck says, smiles, and takes his leave. - Eddie and Buck have a talk. They somehow say everything and nothing at all.

Every Night I Come to You by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (S5, Love Confessions | 2K | General): Eddie has another sleepless night, but Buck is there. He'll always be there.

Family Feud: First Responders by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Secret Relationship | 3K | General): The FireFam go on Family Feud.

Right In Front of Me by Princessfbi (S7E5 Spec, BuckTommy | 3K | General): Tommy’s brows knitted together as his mouth turned down with worry. “Evan,” he said and Buck wanted to hear him call his name so many more times. “What happened? Did someone choke you?” “That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Buck said, clearing his throat again when his voice gave an embarrassing squeak.

inescapable (i’m not even gonna try) by buddiebuddie/ @buddie-buddie (BuckTommy, PWP, Post-S7E4 | 3K | Explicit): From that first press of Tommy’s lips against his— the moment when the pieces slid into place and something bloomed in Buck’s chest and hummed in his veins— he felt good, and grounded, and settled in a way he never had before. It’s been a few weeks, and the newness has worn off but the excitement hasn’t. The hunger hasn’t.

I would be lying if I said I'm not dying to worship you by Daughter_of_Scotland (Post-S7E4 | 3K | Explicit): Buck and Tommy have their first date. This is how it ends. (It ends really, REALLY well)

somethin' tells me you know why i lie by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Madney Wedding Spec, BuckTommy | 3K | Teen): OR: buck brings tommy to the madney wedding. eddie is absolutely, definitively not jealous.

Never Saw It Coming...Or Did He? by Tizniz (PWP, Daddy/Mommy Kink | 3K | Explicit): Unable to deny his boyfriend anything, Eddie does. And his jaw promptly falls to the floor. Because Buck is standing there with that goddamn basketball under his shirt again. The clothing is stretched tightly over the round of what Eddie’s mind pretends is Buck’s belly. Pregnant belly. OR: The one where Eddie is 'Daddy' and Buck is 'Mommy'

sunbeam that hits at three to noon by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Madney Wedding, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): or, having multiple wedding reservations under the same name was an accident waiting to happen and buck’s just trying not to jumpscare his best friend with the rather intense bridal suite decor in their very platonically shared hotel room

as lucky as us by hammersmiths/ @bucktommys (S7E4, Ravi POV | 3K | General): One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier.

soothe the ache in me by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (S7E4 Spec | 3K | Teen): Or, the one where Buck gets a headache while trying to take care of Eddie and Chris after Eddie's injury.

i'm a fine baby mama (but you knew that though) by colonoscopys (S7E4 | 4K | Teen): Look—Buck’s not jealous, per say. He’s just a little confused as to how you can spend the past five years being best friends with someone, and then find someone new to replace him in the span of a couple of playdates.

You’re too Sweet For Me by Garden_Haunter (Buck Coming Out, Post S7E4 | 4K | Teen): Tommy kisses Buck, and it tastes like freedom. (Or: Buck comes out to different members of his family.)

Nightcap by Inell (S7E5 Spec, PWP | 4K | Explicit): After their first date goes a bit astray, Buck invites Tommy to his loft for a nightcap. 

some things fall when they're meant to fall by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (S7E5 Spec | 4K | Teen): or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie has a realization and breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order.

before you painted all my nights by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): In hindsight, maybe jerking off to a LAFD Calendar when Eddie was well on his way to become a firefighter himself… might not have been the best idea. He never really thought about the possibility of actually crossing paths with the person that's been starring every wildest dream and filthy fantasy of his.

’til storm breaks loose by markofalover/ @markofalover (S7E4 Spec | 6K | Explicit): He squeezes Buck’s bare, sun warmed skin before he drops the contact, and strolls over to where Chim and Tommy are waiting. If he stands a little too close to his teammate, well. He’ll never admit it. Buck comes back into his line of vision, already back to looking like he’s a second away from stomping off the court. Eddie’s giddy with it. …or, how an elbow to the face changes everything.

the art of making love. by dylaesthetics (Rommates, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): OR Buck’s loft gets flooded, making him temporarily move in with Eddie, who’s out and about dating guys now, apparently, and Buck tries to figure out why the hell the thought makes him sick.

no more mistakes, no more empty starts. by dylaesthetics (S7E5 Spec, Feelings Realization | 7K | Teen): Throughout his life, Buck has felt that something’s been missing. Some integral part of who he is, outside firefighting, outside the family he has built for himself, outside the trauma that keeps on piling up and overburdening his shelves. He doesn’t expect to find it in the dimness of his loft’s kitchen one Tuesday evening, the taste of a man still on his lips and his cologne lingering in the air, sweet and honest and real.

ain't no lie (bi bi bi) by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (S7E4 Spec, Eddie/Tommy | 8K | Explicit): Eddie fools around with Tommy, Buck is jealous, Tommy's just trying to have a good time

skin/heat/hair in your mouth by fleetinghearts (Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): or, eddie’s bad at camping, buck’s trying to make sure he doesn’t get hypothermia, and naked huddling for warmth is only like the third gayest thing happening in the great outdoors

now our love lives in the radio by heartbeatdiaz / @loserdiaz (University AU | 9K | Explicit): buck is the host of a college radio show and eddie has a big fat crush on him, what else can i say? featuring cinderella references and a bunch of himbos from buck's football team. 

teach me how to dance with you by goodboybuck (prettyboybuckley)/ @prettyboybuckley (BuckTommy, PWP | 9K | Explicit): OR: Buck explores the wonders of gay sex (slowly, with a really patient, sweet Tommy guiding the way and while having a lot of fun)

the mouth is the thing that craves by Underhung_Aura (Established Buddie, PWP | 11K | Explicit): eddie loves buck and he really love buck's cock

when i think about you (i touch myself) by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (PWP, Getting Together | 12K | Explicit): Or: the one where Eddie stumbles across Buck's old amateur porn, prompting a series of belated realizations on both their parts.

honey, when you call my name by HungryHungryHippo/ @hippolotamus (Post S5E11 | 12K |Explicit): Eddie witnesses the Buck/Lucy kiss, has himself a little panic, and decides to do something about it when Buck does his Buck thing and won't stop pushing Eddie's buttons 

🔥 of men and of angels by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 13K | Teen): Eddie Diaz learns a lot as a kid. Boys aren’t soft. Boys don’t cry. Boys don’t kiss boys. As he gets older, he realizes that everything has exceptions. Boys can be soft sometimes. Boys can cry sometimes. And some boys kiss other boys. But Eddie likes kissing girls. And since he likes kissing girls, that’s the end of the story. Isn’t it?

🔥 what humans do by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Getting Together, PWP | 18K | Explicit): "…and the thought that she had just escaped death by such a narrow margin made me realize the intensity of my feelings toward her.” Eddie swallows. “‘What’s the matter?’ I couldn’t tell her, so I kissed her instead,” Buck goes on, and since Eddie’s eyes are focused on the page, they drift ahead a little bit, and the next few lines have him swallowing once again, taking his hand back to brace himself against the mattress as he slowly starts to push himself up to sit. “Kissing is what humans do when words have reached a place they can’t escape from. It is a switch to another language. The kiss was an act of defiance, maybe of war. You can’t touch us, is what the kiss said. ‘I love you,’ I told her, and as I smelled her skin, I knew I had never wanted anyone or anything more than I wanted her…” Buck trails off when Eddie reaches for the book, gently luring it out of his grasp. 

WIP

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 6/18 | 37K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Threesome, BuckTommyEddie | 4/6 | 20K | Explicit): In which everyone has two hands and two holes and is keeping their options fluid. (Or: a collection of threesome fics.)

Fifteen First Kisses by tinygiantsam/ @watchyourbuck (Getting Together | 2/15 | 3K | Mature): Why would you have only one first kiss when you could have fifteen This is a collection of 15 different first kisses between Buck and Eddie.

[butchsophiewalten]

Findjackwalten 07/14/23 Update Walkthrough

Last night Findjackwalten updated! We've got one page update and two new pages. Let's start:

Findjackwalten.com

Our main page has updated! Jack and Rose's pictures are gone, and the whole page is greyed out now as opposed to being red. The shutdown text has changed to read "You just couldn't stay home, could you?". The play button here still works, with all new audio. It's a car radio, first it's an afternoon weather report, then just some talk radio intermission, and then it's music. There's also car noise, tires on asphalt, chair squeaks, turn signal, and general Car Creaking.

I've already seen some people theorize that this is audio from Felix's drive home after the crash, but that doesn't make a lot of sense to me since that's already what Guilty is. Feels redundant, as much as I love the idea of Felix driving home listening to Yummy Yummy Yummy by Ohio Express.

Findjackwalten.com/martinguaridasecretanoentrar

This page's URL and title is in Spanish. It just means "Martin secret lair do not enter" and the title "q pasa tia" in this context is like, "whats up, girl?". Kinda gossipy. Meant to invoke a vibe that you're being let in on a secret.

The top of this page reads "92%", referring probably to the percentage of TWF4 that is completed. The rest of the page contains "3 funny walten facts" Which are:

"Bon the rabbit was originally called Bon the Dancing Hare by Jack, ultimately Felix vouched against that because Rabbit sounds friendlier."

This is so fun to me! I did always think Bon was pretty hare-like. Funny that Jack wanted Bon to be a Jackrabbit. Also I can't believe "Bon The Dancing Rabbit" is still real. It's been so long since I've heard anybody call him that I kinda figured it was retconned.

"During the late 70s, BSI expanded further than restaurant chains, the showstoppers became famous for way different products such as random merch, plushies, furniture, toys, watches, bed sheets, lanterns, masks, lamps, toilet seats. BSI most succesful product was "Showstopper's Comedy Extravaganza", a 1977 animated TV show that ran for 3 seasons and was cancelled in the 1979's to make room for a "bigger project". it is unknown what was the cause for BSI to milk the showstopper franchise to that extent, what was the money for?"

This is something we sorta already knew? Relocate Project implied this sort of thing But I guess we didn't really know how successful their merch ventures were until now. Turns out, they were pretty successful! The "Showstopper's Comedy Extravaganza" thing is crazy to me though, three seasons? That 'what was the money for?' comment is also very ominous. It makes me think of the planned relaunch of Bon's Burgers but considering how vague the comment is and how the Bon's Burgers relaunch was something we already knew about, I'm wondering if it's something else.

"Sophie lived on the back of a meat store for the better part of 3 years, she managed."

How do I even comment on this. This is just so fucked. It makes me sick to my stomach. She was homeless for three years? Homeless? For three years? As a teenager? I feel like i'm undergoing hitherto unexperienced Sophie Emotions. What the hell do I even say.

Findjackwalten.com/btscene

Just a whole page of behind the scenes stuff! This is also hard to comment on, really. It'd be easiest if you just went and looked at everything yourself.

There's a little play button here with Anything Goes by Cole Porter, but I think it's been edited to sound more echo-y. Like it's being played in a big empty room, but also like the next room over? I've listened to a few versions of this song before but none that sound quite like this. This is also the song that's referenced lyrically in the new years 2022 version of /investigation1, with this bit of writing:

A decent bit of the stuff on this page is from the old Patreon, but not all of it, or even like, half of it. And some stuff (like the blue and purple Felix drawing) is old concept art that had been shared in the Discord server before.

[essektheylyss]

World Wizard Entertainment: After Hours

I did want to write a little thing now that I am done making a vicious mockery of Vince McSam, because this was really a WILD week and I do love a debrief.

Honestly, when I sat down to make a bracket last week, I was not committed to posting it, I was not going to make any graphics, and I definitely was not planning to run a tournament.

....Obviously that changed, but you already know that.

Really I just wanted to figure out how hard it would be to properly seed a tournament in fandom. I've already talked about that elsewhere so I won't get into it, but when you're building a tournament, you want it seeded for intrigue in later rounds, even if round one match-ups are very lopsided.

But once I had it, I was thinking about how different polls have gone in the past. Specifically, I had written a post during some earlier polls with Laerryn and Essek competing that was commenting, you know, if we're talking duel, Essek loses, 100%. He'd have a prayer in hell of winning, and there are no gods here or whatever. And the poll in which Laerryn and Essek were matched up, which Aabria made a very funny joke about, wasn't even a wizard poll! It was just sexiest character or something. But the thing is, a lot of polls have been really vague about what criteria to vote on, and there's a reason for that! A lot of polls like that are going to have an obvious winner. And because of how these spread, you are going to have a lot of people voting purely on popularity or name recognition, including plenty of people who are not super engaged in fandom since there are lots of lurkers (and we love them! hi, lurkers!), and also random people outside the fandom who just vote on any poll, so you have to account for that.

But we have polls now, and fandom is fun and chaotic, so I wondered... could you game it for an unexpected result?

I cannot turn down a challenge once I've come up with it for myself, so at that point, I actually built a tournament.

For a lot of the week, in all but the most meaningless and random of situations, I thought the answer was no! We got Ludinus kicked in the first round, which I mostly did to stir up a little drama, because round one was pretty calm and quiet.

By the quarterfinals, it got tougher. At that point there were more folks engaging, but a lot of the tags were, "Didn't we already decide this?" and I was like, well, no one is watching March Madness year after year going, "Well, Gonzaga* is the best and that's decided I guess," (except maybe Gonzaga fans, but knowing some of them, they are really serious about their basketball). They're there because there's chance involved. A great team can lose to an underdog in an early upset. Also, there's always the bracket contest, which is another layer of gamification that adds some interest. (Sidebar, can you tell yet that I wrote a paper on gamification when applying to grad school? Lulz.) But like I've mentioned, fandom polls are highly stacked to be popularity contests. How do you introduce some chance and intrigue?

As it turns out, you call the Veth stans, which I sure wouldn't have guessed, so I'm glad they turned up anyway.

But in all seriousness, with a poll like this, it's really not about deciding who is The Wizard. (For the record, with my url fully visible, the answer is absolutely Laerryn Coramar-Seelie. She is seeded first for a reason!) It's about seeing if you can be weird and wacky enough, or maybe just heartfelt and sincere enough, to turn the tide of what's expected. But it's only fun if it's collaborative.

And here's where I say it all comes back to collaborative narrative and storytelling, because when does it not with me, but seriously—I seeded Veth pretty high because she was a PC, but wasn't sure if she was going to hold that far through the polls. By the time she was, I wasn't asking, "Why is Veth beating Yussa, the most no-brain cell wizard in the northern Exandrian hemisphere, with one wizard level?" It was clear that the Veth fans had decided to make this their mission.

So I do hope the takeaway, based on everyone making content and giving speeches and doing a fun kayfabe, is that you can make a really interesting and fun tournament by committing to the bit. You have to get ridiculous and you have to stick with it, but that's... really what fandom is. It's really not about "is my fave gonna win," and it's honestly not even about who wins (you may have noticed that the winner section of my results post is... small, which is intentional), it's about building a little story together.

And I'm really glad we all did that. I feel like I need to go around and do a virtual 'good game' high five to the Veth stans, and the Caleb stans, and Aabria herself, and everyone who wrote in defense of someone and put on a kayfabe and ran with a bit, because it really was a fun roller coaster of a tournament.

And if you didn't join in this week, but kind of wanted to, I hope the next time someone runs a tournament you just go for it! I was also a lot more timid about fandom participation as a teen, but honestly, if you are really excited about, I don't know, Realmseer Eskil (who is super cool by the way), don't take it too seriously and write an overwrought defense of them! Make a funny meme! Be sporting about it, come up with the most ridiculous reason you can name to vote for them, and run with it.

(Also, my other takeaway is that it is really easy to ape the overblown wrestling host voice. Please do it, it's literally so funny.)

[brillemos]

I posted 8,194 times in 2022

That's 2,259 more posts than 2021!

60 posts created (1%)

8,134 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@stupid-lemon-eater

@thebadwulff

@annundriel

@snake-and-mouse

@upsidedowngoblin

I tagged 7,118 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#honestly me - 634 posts

#lmao - 476 posts

#supernatural - 288 posts

#our flag means death - 255 posts

#tumblr - 211 posts

#the devil judge - 195 posts

#cats - 187 posts

#destiel - 185 posts

#tgcf - 182 posts

#fanfic - 145 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i don't care about mcr but this post distresses me cause i'm apparently like the same age as batman in the new movie which is uncomfortable

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Today I turn 34!

My 30s really have been better than my 20s, so far. Hopefully that trend continues for the upcoming year!

I took today off so I could have a 3 day weekend, and I'm going on a quick solo road trip to Big Bear (mountain area of SoCal) to celebrate 😊 Even though it might be rainy tomorrow, hopefully I can come back with photos to share!

8 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#4

My blaze post finished last night and I got the "Blaze Report" after I went to bed.

Here are the stats: Impressions: 9223 Likes: 271 Reblogs: 114 Replies: 32 Follows: 2 Shares: 9

Yes, while some people assumed I paid for the $10 version, I actually paid for the $25 version, which estimates 7k impressions, so I'm surprised I got over 9k [insert meme here].

These stats don't line up with the notes on the actual post, which is curious. It has 40 comments (including 3 of my own), 184 reblogs and 356 likes. I'm guessing the difference comes from users who saw the reblogs and not the original sponsored post? Getting only 580 notes with 9k impressions is a little disappointing but that's tumblr for you

Anyway, that was super fun! I think I might try again sometime, but maybe with something less likely to have people curse at me lmao

9 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#3

alivorte ➡ brillemos

I posted about this earlier today (thanks @tenacioustam and @lib for responding and helping me pick!) but I finally changed my url!

In case you missed it, brillemos means "let's shine" in Spanish! And is also a pun on my name, Bri, because I'm a cringe dork and proud of it 😎

I saved alivorte as a side blog and wrote a little JavaScript that will auto-redirect to my new url, even if you're just looking at a singular post, it will redirect to that post. BUT, it only works on desktop. I don't know how to make it work on mobile and I'm not particularly motivated to try. Sorry mobile-using followers 😅

9 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#2

I'm registered for the Lesbians Who Tech Pride Summit this year and I recall that you went to the same event before (or something that sounded very, very similar to it). Do you have any tips to get the most out of it? I am still very much a tech newbie who wants to break into tech and the agenda looks a bit overwhelming. Thanks in advance if you have time to answer this ask! If not, it's okay...you sharing your career journey on tumblr has been inspiring, to say the least!

Aww thanks! I did go to Lesbians Who Tech back in 2018 when I was still in grad school. I think I also signed up for the virtual pride summit this year as well, though I probably won't be able to attend (work kinda gets in the way lol).

The biggest regret I have about when I attended in 2018 was being too shy to try to connect with other people there. I think that's probably the biggest benefit to attending events like this in the first place - networking. Which I've never been particularly good at, lol. So if possible, I'd recommend targeting sessions about networking or allow you to network.

Otherwise, as a tech newbie, you likely won't get much benefit from the more technical sessions, unless you already have some prior exposure to the topic or it's marketed as a beginner friendly session (like I found one called Intro to Native Mobile Development on Tuesday, if that suits your fancy). So I'd have some fun with it, look for ones that sound interesting to you! Or check out sessions in a variety of different areas of tech (coding, analytics, product mangement, etc) so you get a wider exposure to the tech world. I feel a little overwhelmed myself looking at how many sessions there are lol so I don't think I can give more specific advice than this, unfortunately.

I hope you have fun attending the summit, and if you ever have any more questions, feel free to reach out at any time!

13 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

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[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

helloooooo!! can i request some headcanons for the demon brothers with a MC that is Non Binary but is afab and insecure about being afab and doesnt feel like they are Non Binary. platonic or romantic either one is fine. thank you. also Jaehee is a Queen period.

I haven’t had Mystic Messenger installed on my phone for like a year and this blog is mostly, if not exclusively Obey Me rn, but I refuse to change my url because it remains true. Jaehee is the best and deserves the world <3

Also don’t mind me casually throwing in some Devildom/Celestial Realm gender headcanons as an intro~

Warnings: Mentions of gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, insecurity gang rise up. I’ll try and keep it more general since this is meant to be a comfort/fluff piece.

The Brothers With an Insecure (AFAB) Nonbinary MC

As a whole, the Devildom doesn’t really do traditional gender. The variety in demons’ and fallen angels’ appearances makes for such a diversity of body types that markers of femininity and masculinity are easier to disregard. It’s commonplace to provide one’s pronouns along with their name when meeting someone new, and any changes in a demon’s presentation are noted with little more fanfare than a new haircut.

Even angels don’t really get preoccupied with gender: in fact, as MC discovered one day while talking with Luke and Simeon, most barely grasp the concept of what a gender is. Simeon had mentioned that this occasionally resulted in him forgetting the genders of his characters, resulting in TSL being extremely popular among transgender and nonbinary fandom communities.

But MC is not from the Devildom, nor are they from the Celestial Realm. They’re from the human world, with its reductive views on bodies, presentation, and identity. A year in the Devildom can’t erase a lifetime of cissexism.

Some days, it wears on them more than others.

Lucifer

Lucifer is always aware when MC’s self image starts wavering

As someone who has fought tooth and nail to remain true to himself, he understands the struggle of facing resistance to this

But the idea of it coming from within is somewhat foreign to him

Nonetheless, he’ll do anything within his power to make MC feel better

Will calmly, but firmly assert that MC is the only one who can determine their identity

It’s not about how they were born or raised, but who they know themself to be deep down

If it’s their gender dysphoria making them feel invalid, he’ll try and minimize it however he can

Need a different RAD uniform? No problem. Worried about being perceived a certain way? Anyone who stares at MC for too long or even dares to make a comment about their presentation is getting the Lucifer Death Glare.

Physical/body dysphoria? The Devildom has tons of temporary and permanent solutions for that, they can try whatever they’d like

It is vital for the success of the exchange program that all the students feel comfortable and well-accommodated

Also MC is very dear to him and he hates to see them suffering

Mammon

As soon as he notices MC is upset, he is READY TO FITE

Who’s been messing with them?!

What? They don’t feel like they’re really nonbinary? Are they questioning again, or—

Oh. Oh…

Well that’s stupid! What do you mean you don’t “look nonbinary”?! What’s there to look like? Humans are so weird about this stuff, look: you want to know what someone’s deal is, you ask! And their answer? That’s it! End of story, there ya go!

It’s not so simple in the human world, MC tries to explain

Mammon huffs and mumbles something about how it should be, but he can see this avenue isn’t making MC feel better

It seems whatever junk ideas the human world has about gender really gets into people’s heads…

Well, whenever Mammon wants to take his mind off of something, he opts for something exciting! Hitting the casino, making new plans that’ll definitely work this time, maybe even try and pull a prank on one of his brothers…?

But if MC just wants to cuddle and watch some mindless TV or play video games he doesn’t mind doing that either…

Leviathan

Levi knows, without fault, every single TSL characters’ pronouns and identities, if and how they change through the series, and between different media adaptations

He can (and will) list all the nonbinary characters like a gender Pokemon Rap, with special attention on those who match MC’s presentation and/or AGAB

(Not that AGAB is essential or even always available information, but dysphoria is not a rational creature, and Levi is very familiar with irrational emotions)

Would MC say that any of these characters aren’t really nonbinary because of how they look or how they started out? Then why are they any different?

But if something about their appearance is really bothering them, he might have a solution

Cosplay

Well, sort of

Crossplayers use all sorts of techniques to masculinize or feminize their appearance when necessary, and Levi’s pretty familiar with most of them

So if MC wants to try some out to see if it makes them feel more comfortable, he wouldn’t mind showing them! You know… if they’re… interested…

Also double-checks to make sure it’s okay that he calls them his “Henry” and assures them that it’s about the character’s role and personality, and not some sort of gender-based comparison

Unless... they like the comparison? andwouldliketocosplayasHenrytohisLordofShadows??

Satan

Who said this to you, MC.

Names. Now.

Boy gets frothing mad when MC explains it’s a societal and cultural problem, not an individual one, that fuels their insecurity.

If they don’t want to hear an hour long rant about the rich history of human gender expression and identity, they need to cut him off fast

If he could maim the concept of transphobia, he would

But alas, this is not a problem that can be solved (entirely) with violence

So he has to find other ways to show his support

Ask him about any notable trans, nonbinary, or otherwise gender nonconforming figures from human or demon history. He’ll happily tell MC all about them.

But, at the end of the day? In his opinion, there’s one person that shines above the rest

Someone who braved the longest odds, who persisted against the fiercest enemies and even turned them into their closest friends

Who saw others at their worst and sought to bring out the best in them…

*stage whispers* He’s talking about you

If there’s anyone who’s going to believe in the right to self determination and the irrelevance of your origins to your present identity, it’s Satan

And if anyone ever does try to tell MC that their doubts about themself are true?

Just give him their name and don’t ask questions

Asmodeus

So they’re worried about being too feminine? Is there such a thing?

If that’s the case, they can be “too feminine” together

Asmo’s gender nonconformity has earned him praise all throughout his life, so the idea of being ashamed of such a thing is alien to him

But he does know what it’s like to have an audience who expects a specific image from you

And the fear of disappointing them

But gender isn’t a performance

Well, it is, sometimes, poor choice of words: but it’s a performance for you

Asmo presents the way he does because it’s what makes him happy, same with the rest of the brothers

MC shouldn’t be any different

If they’re looking for a more masculine wardrobe or just want a change of pace, he’ll happily help them find clothes that make them feel more comfortable, but his main concern is that they know they’re free to wear what they’d like, act how they’d like, and it doesn’t change who they are

Whatever image they want to make of themself, he can get them there, but only if it’s because they want it, not because it’s what they think they’re supposed to be like, okay?

Beelzebub

When MC first confesses to Beel that they feel like they’re not really nonbinary because of their body, he kinda looks around and gestures as if to say “really? Down here?”

Has MC ever noticed that RAD doesn’t have gendered sports teams?

Yeah, if they separated people by something as irrelevant as gender or Diavolo forbid, sex, people would get seriously injured or worse

There are so many ways to be a man or a woman or a nonbinary person, and they’re not always what you’d expect

Some of Beel’s best teammates and scariest opponents look and act nothing like you’d expect them to

If they’re feeling disconnected from their body, Beel is totally down to work out with them, keep them grounded in all the good their body does for them and that they can do for it

And yes, also the good food their body lets them experience

He also definitely reaches out and gives their hand a lil squeeze if he ever notices them feeling down while they’re out together

He cares for them a lot and just wants them to be happy at the end of the day

Belphegor

Oh yeah, that’s one of the stupidest things about the human world

Belphie remembers being mistaken for a woman a lot when he used to visit the human world, and how confused he was when people got into such a tizzy over his gender

Why waste all that energy on something that doesn’t matter? If you must know, just ask the person and be done with it

It doesn’t matter what they look like

MC is MC

If they say they’re nonbinary, that’s good enough for him

If they don’t want to be touched, especially in certain places tiddy pillow naps, he might get pouty, but he’s all bark and no bite, he’ll respect their wishes

His approach to making MC feel better is more geared towards normalizing their identity

If he accepts it as a fact, then maybe they’ll catch on that people will respect them if they know what’s good for them?

Also, if they hear him mumbling about correct pronouns and punching transphobes in his sleep… No they didn’t. He’s not dreaming about them, he swears...

[upside-down-uni]

Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!

[bae-science]

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

[sunball]

Hi💫💓. I have a confession to make. Nothing too serious tbh. This is going to be lengthy. I created a Tumblr acc a while ago but, I was never active on it. I preferred to guest browse, you know. I would lurk around in the tags and read stuff. But, I never actually interacted with the posts. Ever. One day, I was doing the same thing and, I came across your blog. I LOVED reading your posts. You came across as an authentic and outspoken person to me. Your blog's aesthetic stood out to me. I could see that it was an expression of yourself. I could see the effort you put into it. I kept coming back to your blog and ended up finding some other wonderful blogs through it. After a while, I ended up traveling. I didn't have data or WiFi access at the time so, I couldn't read any of your posts. When I returned, I couldn't find your blog for some reason. I low-key freaked out. I am not sure how to explain this to you but, I have ALWAYS struggled with communication. It made me SO anxious to the point that I couldn't even imagine being on social media. People say that interacting with others on the Internet is much easier than face-to-face communication but, to me, it's all the same. At the end of the day, I am always wondering "Was I rude?", " Did I even make any sense?", "What are they going to think of me?". It is such an irrational fear but, I can't help it. After coming across your blog, I decided to check my natal chart, and lo and behold, I have Saturn in the 3rd. After finding out that you had the same placement, it gave me some kind of hope? That may be, someday, I would be able to express my thoughts just like you do. I really respect the efforts you put into your blog. I admire you for that. I really do. Okay, let's go back to the story. I eventually ended up finding your blog. I made up my mind to finally tell you that I loved your blog. I think I send you an ask. I think. But I decided to redo it cause' I felt like the first one didn't do justice. So here I am. I don't know if you will ever actually read this. Even now, while writing this, I am freaking out! I know I am anonymous but, my anxiety doesn't give an f. I want you to know that you are doing great. There are lots of people out there who appreciate what you do, and I am one of them. I hope you rise amongst all perils and achieve all your dreams. Thank you for being yourself. 💛💛💛

Hold up, I was supposed to make a confession, right? Okay so, I used to hang around with a cockroach as a kid. Let's call it bestie. Feels weird to say it, but bestie was actually well behaved? I used to sing songs for it and stuff. Our friendship lasted for a grand total of two days. Bestie was a great roach. Best of all?? It didn't fly. Yap, that's it. I don't know if you will read this but thanks for listening.

omg anon🥺🥺 I’m speechless aahhh aakdhjdg this means SO much to me. you made my day. you made me smile and tear up wow. thank you so much for taking your time to write this. im feelin super special rn hehehe just reading your words makes me feel appreciated 😭 I’m guessing you found my blog when my URL was ilyneptune? I was shadowbanned so that’s why you couldn’t find my blog, SORRY ABOUT THATTTT! I’m glad we found eachother again though :D

I totally get what you mean about the communication part, as a child I was really quiet and did not talk to my family or my friends much. at school I was the most awkward person and was labelled as stupid because whenever I got picked on to answer questions, I would just stutter and answer something stupid 😭 just speaking makes me feel like choking even if it’s just a simple hi. I also used to not like talking online too, I would leave messages unread and ignore them for weeks and I absolutely hated calls (I still do). I also take hours to write a paragraph. saturn in 3rd house things I suppose 😔 but actually, this year my communication got so much better. I stepped out of my comfort zone and made this blog. not so sure what made me do it but I’m glad I did it anyway. now I’m arguing with people in comment sections and I’m not afraid of being wrong anymore. I guess I just accepted that I’m not perfect and that I’m bound to make mistakes and that everyone is here for the same reason - to learn. would me saying something wrong make me a fool? or would the person laughing at me for being wrong and not asking questions be the fool instead? I actually have 2 quotes on my wall, “speak your mind even if your voice shakes” and “he who asks a question is a fool for a minute, he who does not ask is a fool for life”. those quotes are very important to me and pretty much changed my life :B my dad also helped me ig, he’s kinda cold lol but he told me that people actually don’t give a fuck about your mistakes, they don’t notice the things you notice like your crooked teeth, the way you eat, how you stuttered 3 times or how you messed up your presentation. why? people have their own insecurities and their own life to think about, they’re probably thinking of the exact same thing like “omg did they notice that I accidentally spat when I talked?”. so yeah that helped me too.

I believe that you can overcome these fears! I mean, you’re already doing it by writing this to me :D (which brought me to tears lol). If an awkward bean who barely spoke at school (aka me) can do it, so can you! I believe in you anon ((: it’s okay to be anon I understand! I appreciate you writing this to me (for the 2nd time KAHDH I’m sorry I didn’t get your last ask 😭). but anywaysss I’ll still be here for the day you express your thoughts (and imma listen hehe) I’m a sucker for thaaatttt, hearing people’s thoughts and opinions. I think it’s super fascinating how people think differently and how people can come up with different ideas. makes me just wanna take a look inside their mind KAHDJDH.

okay wth a cockroach HAHSGDGD AND WHY IS THAT WEIRDLY CUTE??? why am I aww-ing at a cockroach I don’t get it AHAHAAH AND YOU SANG TO IT?? WELL BEHAVED??? I’m chuckling here 😭😭 that’s so wholesome. so cuteeee😔 bestie will forever be missed <33

thank YOU anon. I hope you are doing well! I hope to see you againnn 🥺

[tractorbeamofwoe]

Hey everyone so I wasn’t really gonna talk about it and make a big thing of it but it is clear to me that I may have accidentally started some sort of drama within the fandom, not just on tumblr. I’ve seen anons messaging other blogs about how they don’t believe me and think I’m lying etc etc and perhaps those asks weren’t necessarily aimed at me but I can’t help but feel I was partly responsible for fuelling the fire.

First of all I want to set things straight, I am not lying about who I know. I would never lie about that sort of thing and if I was going to lie I’d just straight up say I know the band personally, but I don’t and I’ve said a couple times now I’m not claiming to know the lads themselves I just know people who know them. Call me a liar and not believe me all you want but I know I’m telling the truth. The reason why I never really bring it up either is because again, I have no actual direct connection to the band therefore it’s not really my place to talk about it constantly and “boast” when these are literally normal people who work. As for whether other blogs/fans are being truthful or not, that’s nothing to do with me.

Which leads me to my next point. Have I been told things? Yes. Do I think I know things? Yes. Should I have unfairly teased it on tumblr? Probably not. I’ll admit, I got over excited and didn’t think about the stir and the drama it would cause. I think I said before, it was just a little brief comment that I didn’t think much of and I stupidly underestimated the amount of attention it would get. The boys will announce things when they are ready to and that’s not my decision or call to make. I feel like while I tried to avoid making promises, I still unknowingly made them and I wish I hadn’t because I don’t want to disappoint people and I also don’t want to look like an idiot if what I was told turns out to be wrong.

I know people are stressed and anxious now and I’m sorry. I really want us to move on and forget about this now and just enjoy the music and the content that other blogs are sharing while we wait for R&L. I feel terrible for sending the fandom into a frenzy and so I’m not going to talk about it anymore. I may even change my url in case nasty anons or redditors want to keep spouting hate. People who have followed me from the start know that I’ve never had any bad intentions, I’m just here to have fun and my blog is very lighthearted and chill so I don’t want drama to become a constant thing here.

If you’ve read this far, thank you :) ❤️

[pit-and-the-pen]

Chapter 4

 Just a short chapter to kick off my ideas for this series! Hope you enjoy! 

        A knock on Fred’s door interrupted him from a rather pleasant dream, the smell of apples faintly being chased away as he stirred awake. “Go away” He grumbled as loudly as he could muster before pulling a spare pillow over his head and rolling over onto his stomach. 

       “You’re late for training.” George calls from the other side of the door. Fred just groaned loudly and swore. He’d never hear the end of this from the guys. Trudging out of bed, he threw on whatever clothes he touched first. Deciding he could put together a better outfit later. His training gear would cover it anyways. 

     Walking out of the door, George whistles lowley when Fred passes him. A cup of warm coffee was shoved into his hands by George. Fred’s not normally a coffee drinker, but grimaces and downs the small cup anyways.  “Boy, you would think you stayed up the whole night.” George laughed at Fred’s disheveled appearance. “She even got you home at a reasonable time and everything.” He laughs a little louder at the slightly starstruck look that takes over his brother's face at the mention of last night. He claps his brother over the shoulder.  “Look at you, losing sleep over a pretty face.” 

Fred winds up to argue back before George holds his hands up. “Mate, it’s a good look on you. Well not right now obviously but overall.” George winks at his brother as they start to walk down the pathway outside to the training arena. “I haven’t seen you that lively since Bill was crowned.” Fred really wants to argue but he can’t, he knows he became a stiff the moment he became next in line. 

He remembers how him and George used to run rampant through the castle, pulling as many pranks as they possibly could. Minerva or even their mother yelling after them. The thought brings a smile to Fred’s face. How much of a simpler time that was. Back before they were looking face down at a war. Before his father’s problems we’re thrown into his lap because, in all reality, Bill wants nothing to do with them. The same way that Charlie had wriggled out under the guise of helping peace relations in Romania. The same way that Percy left the weight on Fred’s shoulders by being a royal face on the front and getting so good at raising morale that they decided to keep him exactly where he was. 

Plus, as much as everyone loved Percy, he cared too much about how he was perceived to make a great king. He would be too powerful in the wrong hands and the family had its fair share of people that would take full advantage of that fact before the crown even touched his head. He. realized he had been silent for a little too long and just sighed. 

“Sorry George. I know I’m no fun anymore.” His brother nudged him in the ribs.

“Whoever said you were fun in the first place eh?” George said in such a serious tone it made Fred pause. He saw the look on his brother's face and realized the joke had gone right over his head. I really do need to lighten up. He thought to himself and chuckled at his brother. 

Running a hand through his hair a small pang of sadness hits him harder than he thought it would’ve. He’s really just lost so much of himself by the prospect of being king someday. And he really knows it’s just a matter of time. The entire family is waiting with baited breath for Bill to finally run off with Fleur. They keep getting closer every day and it’s only a matter of time until the couple run off to the hills of France. Fred mentally curses at the thought. Bill isn’t doing it to be selfish, he knows that but Fred will be damned if he lets George suffer through everything he’s going through. If it becomes Fred’s turn he’s bringing them through a war and he’s never been more terrified at that idea.

 Fred walks down to the arena in a bit of haze. His thoughts run all over the place. Worse case scenario, one after the other, plays in his mind. How they don’t have enough bodies to fight a war. About how everyone will hate him when he has to draft. The kingdom falling because Fred couldn’t make the important calls at the right time. It’s enough to make him wish that he had stayed in bed. 

Before he realizes it, he’s stepping onto the gravel rink of the training arena. Trying to clear his head with a small shake, he realizes he can spiral later. Right now, he’s doing what he can. Everything else for now can wait. This is what he needs to do to play his part. Keep an eye out for who has leadership potential. 

With the Triwizard tournament coming up, currently being worked up and finalized as he stands here, he needs to keep a clear head. Does he think that right now is not the time for all the usual pageantry? Of course, but for now, it’s not his call to make and he’s grateful for that. He just falls in line and takes his orders when they are given. George gives him a firm pat on his back as he takes his usual spot on the bleachers, pulling out a large book and a quill. Ready to take notes down to report back to Bill. As he expected, there are a few lears and teases about his tardiness, comments he brushes off with a shrug. A few comments on seeing him with someone last night and he quickly shuts down that line of thinking. 

He pairs the men off into their small sparing groups. Deciding that he didn’t trust his own reflexes today, he informs them he wants to work on non-wand fighting. 

“Why would we do that when we have wands?” A voice calls out from the crowd. He sighs heavily. Of course these knob heads would think that. 

“What are you going to do if your wand gets lost, or heaven forbid, were to break in the middle of a fight?” He squints at the man that questioned him. “Are you going to run in the middle of a fight because of that? No. That’s why this is just as an important skill as dueling.” Fred pats the longsword currently resting on his hip. A few people from the crowd chuckle. They just assume it’s for show. He notices a few of the men looking behind him as he’s speaking. He sends a glance over his shoulder and he wants to curse from the sight in front of him. None other than Draco Malfoy. Loud and proud, standing like he owns the damn place. 

He bites back the eye roll and gestures to his men. “Work amongst yourselves for a moment.” He looks at the defiant faces. “With wands if it’s that damn important to you.” He says dismissively but with a tone that says this isn’t the last of that conversation. 

The relationship with the Malfoy family and the Royal family is rocky to say the least. They were part of the group that broke off and tried to become important in the Dark Lord's personal court, before it crumbled, of course. They were also some of the loudest opponents for the Weasley family to become the ruling family and decided to let that little detail fuel every one of their actions for the last fifty years. They did all of this while trying to worm their way into the most powerful positions. Much to Fred’s displeasure to admit, Lucius had managed to redeem himself quite well and from that Draco grew up just as good as a prince would have. 

“To what do I owe the displeasure of your presence Draco?” Fred sighed out. Not bother to care about diplomacy. There was something about the boy that just made his blood boil, too many smart comments aimed at his fathers competency when they were in school together he reckons. Malfoy just scoffs, pointing his head high in the air as he always does. 

“I was sent from the castle to come and get you. Important meeting apparently.” His voice full of discontent, obviously not liking being sent to run errands. 

“And why are you even in the kingdom again?” Fred taunts. “Front line too scary for you?” 

Once again Malofy scoffs. “They pulled Potter and I both out last week. That’s all that I know. Sent in replacements and everything.” Draco raises an eyebrow at Fred’s shocked expression. “Do you not even know what’s going on in your own kingdom? I thought they would be filling you in before him at this point.” He laughs and Fred lunges forward. Grabbing the shiny armor that Draco is wearing. Proof of how little he actually had seen of battle. 

“Woah. Not here Freddie” George says, coming to pry Malfoy out of Fred’s grip. Fred looks back at the group of men currently inspecting every detail of this interaction. 

“Better watch that temper, your majesty.” Malfoy spits out before Fred lets him go, giving him a large shove to get some distance between the two of them. He watches with a small smirk as the blond stumbles back and takes a second to regain his footing.

 Fred turns to the crowd, not even bothering to pretend they haven't just seen the interaction. “Well looks like you have been saved from a boring day.” Fred addresses them. “You’re dismissed but we’re doing double training to make up for this interruption.” He calls and claps his hands, letting everyone know they’re dismissed. 

There are a few groans from among the crowd but after the little show Fred put on no one thinks it smart to try to test his patience at the moment. 

I’ve tried to get this up three times and tumblr has decided to hate me so sorry if the formating is a little off. I tried to fix it but I’m terrible at editing if you havent noticed already.

Taglist: (some wont tag so if you changed urls and still want to be tagged please let me know!) @they-write-once-in-a-while @magical-spit @birdie-writes @ickle-ronniekins @heart-of-tempered-steel @wand3ringr0s3​ @thoseofgreatambition @things-that-start-with-f @elf-punk @bitchywhisperswizard @a-little-too-much @izzytheninja @kpopgirlbtssvt @shadowsinger11 @harrysweasleys 

[starship-squidlet]

2020 in review...

This year has just been a time. Not an easy one, for many of us, myself included. But I’ve been fortunate enough to find a truly wonderful group of people here on Tumblr, at a time when I most needed to have people around. Even though I’ve only known y’all for a few months, it feels like I’ve known you for years already—and I hope to actually be able to say I’ve known y’all for years at some point!!! Thank you to everyone here who has become a friend, and to the rest of you, I hope to get to know you better and be able to call you friend someday as well!!! Thank you for helping me grow as a person and as a writer, and for all of the love and support you’ve shown over the past months. You all mean so, so much to me, but there are a few people I want to mention specifically.

@the-cowbi Mouse, you’re one of the bestest, most amazing people I know, and I’m so lucky to have met you!!! You were the first friend I made in the Newsies fandom, and I’m so glad we met because I’m not sure I would have met anyone else in the fandom if you hadn’t sucked me fully into it. It’s been truly wonderful to see everything you create; your writing is and continues to be amazing, and I can’t wait to see what else you come up with in 2021!!! Thank you so, so much for letting me kidnap/adopt Cora, and for letting me ramble about AUs and OCs and everything else to you all the time. Most of all, thank you for helping me to be a better person, and for reminding me that it’s okay to not be okay when I need to hear it.

@sour-picklee M&M, I am officially adopting you as my new little brother/sibling. You’re the best, and I truly love talking to you all the time. Thank you for trusting me and telling me about your OCs. You’re so creative and clever!!! I’ve loved hearing about the things you’ve created and done so far, and look forward to lots more stories! Also, your art is amazing and I love seeing it always aonfaopinfeoiawpfe.

@cutesiewooren I already got sappy in your ask box, so I’ll keep it simple and just say thank you for always being up for weird conversations about Hobbit AUs where Gandalf is two scandanavian gnome-dwarves in a trench coat and Legolas abandoning Bard’s children in Laketown if there was no Tauriel to keep an eye on them and all of the dwarves being otters. But also for always being up for surprisingly deep conversations when they happen, too xD

@wormsiewithablog hi yes I love you; you’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Thank you for yelling at me to finish blankets always being such a wonderful force of love and kindness and joy. Your artwork is amazing and I love to see it and everything else you create. Also, your memes??? Impeccable. You’re a beautiful person inside and out and I’ve loved getting to know you!!! (also yes I’m adopting you too, whether it’s as your vodka aunt or whatever else you want)—

@fifty-for-the-racer ANNE!!! You’re wonderful and it’s been such a joy getting to know you the past few months!!! Thank you so, so much for all of your support on New Music—I’m not entirely sure I would have finished it without your tags and comments encouraging me. It’s been awesome seeing how you’ve been honing your art style and improving as an artist—I can’t wait to see what else you create this year, because it’s all been so lovely so far, yet with every new piece of yours I see I’m like ‘oh my gosh, this is even better than the last one’!!! You’re a wonderful person, and you always have a kind and encouraging word to say and that’s so amazing.

I know there are more people, but my brain is dying so I’m just going to say a big general THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING and tag a bunch of people and I know I’m going to miss some but this is everyone I can think of right now and I’m sorry if I’ve forgotten you I promise it’s not because I don’t love you its because I’m not good at remembering names and URLs 😅

@clairejaak @logarithmicpanda @santa-fe-bitch @prettyinlimegreenboots @azapofinspiration @newsies-hit-da-streets @surebuyatickettheyletanyonein @h-anon97 @beep-bop-on-a-worm-to-zanta-fe @tea-withnofixinsplease @serena627 @magikarple @katsintriis @petramcbiteybite @that-newsies-obsessed-idiot @nowisthetimetocarrythebanner @birdies-things @your-bread-friend-your-brother (HOW AM I JUST NOTICING NOW THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR URL TO BREAD WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN???) @alice-blue-skies @lemonlimeimprobabilitydrive @papercrocs and anyone else I forgot!!! You’re all amazing people and I’ve been so blessed to get to interact with you, whatever form that interaction has taken. Thank you for being a part of my life!!!

[holyguardian]

Hands my url from when I fell on the ground yesterday tryin 2 b cool

MEME → Send me a url and I'll answer the following;; adjusts my sunglasses while I type 1 key at a time quietly swearing because I can't see shit

Opinion on;

Character in general: UGGGHHHH. He is the juggernaut of Final Fantasy, period, and whatever opinion I rattle off doesn't feel valid. I don't know how to explain it. I know him from SO MUCH MEDIA and it's conflicting and messy and when you put it all together it doesn't all make perfect sense. I immensely enjoy his character though, he isn't the perfect hero and he even shies away from that. I'm also certain that FFVII on PS1 was my introduction to characters in a videogame carrying trauma and when I first played through I know that I didn't fully understand what had happened because I was so young when I played it. Though around the time I replayed it in highschool I walked away with a better understanding and to the people who call this guy cool / dark / edgy all I can say is mosey on and play the original game.

How they play them: SAYJ has a very clear voice when roleplaying Cloud. I am certain I have commented this before, I saw their writing and immediately could hear their Cloud and it wasn't just any version of him, it was the hot mess that is from OG. Not going to lie I very quickly 👀💖 jumped at the chance for some small interactions. He's MEAN. He's ruthless, point A to point B and if he has to use his buster sword to carve a path he will. He can be the most stubborn ass known to man. HOWEVER he still has heart. His love language is through his protectiveness and acts of service, while ALL OF THE ABOVE is still going on. He doesn't just soften and become a ball of fluff to those he gets along with. He can be very rough to handle but honestly that's part of the charm???

The writer: SAYJ is [I answer but a truck drives by honking its horn the entire time]. Okay but for real. Recently, as in yesterday, we both had this revelation that we were scurrying around the other like we were imposters trying to act cool and like Real Writers™ because we both saw the other replying and 'fuck' [picks up keyboard and rattles it] 'uhh hhh how do.. reply to that.. so good ffff..' And I really feel like I have clicked with them on a spiritual level. We get each other. We're both on our respective blogs, SAYJ slamming out shitposts and me smashing out my tunnel-vision aesthetics and peppering some Actual Writing™ between that. Also I feel like I could walk into their IMs and SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS about the most obscure thing and they'd scream back, which is a fucking treasure.

Do I:

RP with them: Ah fuck. Shit. I think so??? It's so dark with these sunglasses, I've either been replying to cloudvii or clouduii and honestly I'm too afraid to question it at this point because they keep replying so we've got a good thing going on.

Want to RP with them: If I haven't been replying to them, and I have been replying to clouduii, uh yeah... this is awkward, but uh... I'd like to give it a try.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: High Quality blog, 20/10, so stoked I got a dose of 'imposter syndrome' when I was knee deep in because I would have missed out on such an amazing opportunity to develop this writing relationship and ooc friendship that. Chef's kiss. Love how our gremlins interact. Love how we interact. The entirety of how we interact from the outside looking in is SAYJ face first on the floor and me stumbling blindly around and I wouldn't change that for a damn thing.

[menalez]

ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server). 

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish 

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!  

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr. 

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in  the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server. 

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above 

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something 

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia: 

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic. 

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present 

 “straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic. 

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady): 

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently. 

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.  

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person. 

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’. 

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently? 

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces 

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar. 

[thxngam]

thank you @thumbllebee!

1. why did you choose your url?

it means gold in tamil and is something my mother calls me often. it’s sweet and it has personal significance so i figured i wouldnt outgrow it or something if i changed fandoms/hyperfixations. also its cute! i wanted just plain ol’ thangam but that was taken so i just put an x in there lol

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

nope! i suppose i should for like ~organization~ but no my followers are just gonna have to deal with me possibly taking a hard left into a different fandom 

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

idk? i had one when i was like 13 and i deleted it bc i never did hw bc i was always on tumblr. and then i got it again like a year ago? maybe longer? idk

4. do you have a queue tag?

i think so but i don’t use it very much lol

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i wanted to talk to people? i mean mostly its because there are a lot of gifsets and other content relating to fandoms i liked so i was into that and then people started sending me asks and i randomly reached out to people i liked on here (i have no filter on tumblr when it comes to starting conversation. i am very awkward irl but online my inhibitions are gone.) and suddenly i like. had friends. which was very weird bc this has never happened to me before but i love it!

6. why did you choose ur icon/pfp?

it’s me! the picrew i got tagged in was adorable (sorry i forgot who did but whoever it was thank you!) and i liked it so much that i made it my pfp!

7. why did you choose your header?

i liked the colors? i changed the whole theme of my blog to oranges and yellows to match the pfp and the header was with pretty colors and matched the rest of my blog. so. 

8. how many mutuals do you have?

idk actually? but i love all of you sm.

9. how many followers do you have?

125. but im sure some of them are p*rn bots and some of them are from when i was really into the mcu so. tww followers are probably less but i will say i am more vocal in tww than i was with the mcu.

10. how many people do you follow?

194! im not actually sure i care about all 194 people but i might? idk i know some of these are remanents of stuff i dont really interact with anymore

11. have you ever made a shitpost?

nope! but i love reblogging them!

12. how often do u use tumblr each day?

uh depends. when i was in the middle of school, not actually that often but now im so burnt out that i can’t really bring myself to do anything so its more often than i should. also i like talking to people so the temptation is high.

13. did you ever fight/argument with another blog? who won?

no i don’t think so! i mean. ive gotten weird anons and annoying commenters on ao3 but i don’t think ive ever straight up gotten in a fight. 

14. how do you feel about the “you need to reblog these” posts?

i do not like them at all. and then there are all these other people like ‘hey this actually happened to me!’ and im always like no. it did not happen bc of this post. the universe was smiling upon you but that picture of a goat you reblogged from a deactivated account did not help. they just cause stress and anxiety and i just--ugh. nope. 

15. do you like tag games?

yes! see this tag game for example lol. 

16. do you like ask games?

yes!! i love asks. they really bond fandoms too, so its not just people throwing their content into the void. asks allow people to get new ideas and get other creator’s thoughts and create relationships and i just. asks are so fun. ask games doubly so. 

17. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

idk? im not sure i know anyone? i think within subcategories of a specific fandom there are acknowledged ‘this person is amazing at this kinda fic/ship/trope’ but overall idk? (@claudiasjeancregg you are the queen of cj/toby and @jessbakescakes and @hufflepuffhermione you are both so damn good at josh/donna. @cauldronoflove you’re amazing at samjosh. i know without a doubt i am missing people and ships i care about but seriously. so good.)

18. do u have a crush on a mutual?

nope on account of never having met any of you irl but i love you all (platonically) anyway! 

tagging @claudiasjeancregg, @cauldronoflove, @welcometo-yourworld, @hufflepuffhermione, and @jessbakescakes!

[leopardprintismybrown]

i don’t really keep up with cam or anything, but would you be comfortable sharing what he said about you? i’m just kinda curious about this whole situation 🤷‍♀️ if not, don’t worry about it :) i respect your decision

I want to share this because I want to explain why I made a parallelism with a cult, because these fans are brainwashed in a worrying way. What I am quoting now is what it's been said on the private chat. 

He was angry that people were calling him disrespectful on Tumblr and his adepts immediately came to the rescue:

“Cam, if you need anyone to fight for you, I’m your gal”

“CAMILY ARMY”

He encouraged people to “bunny block them haters” and he was saying that it was because of his celebrity parent that people on Tumblr are jealous of him and of the Camily friendship and that we want to be part of it inside.

Some comments of the fans after ignoring why I associated them to a cult i.e. for their toxic behaviour, for following another person’s orders, for looking for culprits to block, for making death threats:

“They’re even hating on the Camily, like what did we do?”

“Based on what they said you know how desperate and jealous they were”

“They had the audacity to call the Camily a brainwashed cult”

“I’ve also noticed certain people on the stream I’d consider blocking”

Cameron started to find the cult mention very funny without even understanding the reason behind the parallelism and how problematic some of his fans are for how they express their support for him. They told me he wore a cult leader vest in his live stream on IG, they're making memes about the situation, decontextualizing and twisting my words and mixing up things other people said or shared with me on my blog:

“Someone else said that I am my bro are problematic me for having a cult around me” (don’t ask me to translate) “and some people think I’m using my dad for fame. Bitch I’m not trying to do that. Just cuz I use the name Deaky. They were like oh they treat him like a saint and everything. They said I was quote feeding the fandom. Like people wanted that type of content.  And now I stopped it. So like? Do I post Queen videos anymore? Nope. People are only saying this stuff because I’m fucking related to a celebrity. Gonna go insta live for a rant”

Here comes another demonstration of their sick minds:

“Wait. If we’re being called a cult, let’s show up to their door with guns”

And after this affirmation to be proud of, they started to deny their own words and they were saying that they were obviously trying to get my Tumblr taken down because I was bullying Cameron:

“They are also giving death threats. THEY’RE ACTUALLY GIVING DEATH THREATHS FROM WHAT CAMERON HAS SAID” “Ours is a joke. Theirs is actual death threaths” “Cameron said they’ve been making threaths” They posted a screenshot of my blog adding comments like “I’m not surprised it’s a Rog stan tbh" I was told someone was asking Cameron to tell ROGER about what I did.

At this point Cameron read a screenshot somebody sent him (probably about an anon I received talking about his brother) and he said: “She’s harassing me by posting about it. She was reposting slandering things about me and my brother. Like if my brother saw those comments as well I’m sure he’d be really humiliated and upset too”

One of the adepts' comments:

“She was slandering and talking abt John n not respecting privacy”

Cameron decided that: “If nothings done about it they’ll just continue. Clearly they came to my stream again”

Reaction of the adepts:

“We work out who it is in stream tonight and block them”

I also want to explain why I panicked yesterday. Someone from this discord was making me read everything, and not only I was clearly stressed for what I was reading and because they twisted every single word I wrote, but I was also witnessing live these fanatics commenting on my blog and providing a screenshot of my username and homepage and reporting me in mass. At the same time, the person that was only trying to help me was begging me to change my username repeatedly. "They're going to pile on you, change the url" I was confused and I didn't know what to do. Ironically, I was having a problem with my internet connection and couldn't access to my Tumblr so I was afraid they were already taking down my account (I don't know how these things work) and that I couldn't ask for help, justify myself or warn someone. In addition to this, I was getting bunny emojis and other anons saying that Cameron was roasting me on his IG live, something I think went on for hours because friends of mine were sending me stuff the whole night. 

I didn't obviously watch the stream so I cannot tell you what he said about me but I was told that he would keep on venting about it in the next days. Just to say that I am having a public persona with thousands of followers easy to manipulate publicly mocking me, encouraging people to cancel me, block me, report me by using his influence. This is bullying, ignorance, abuse of power, mind manipulation of teenagers from a 27 year old. He needs someone to monitor him. What hurts  me even more is that he's related to someone I respect.

I also got many messages from fans who are on that chat saying that they are sorry for what happened to me but that they are afraid to defend me because they don’t want to be called “traitors” and that the people on the chat feel like they have to go by what Cameron says. People apologized to me because they realized they said awful things about me but didn’t know the full story. Other people that defended me were blocked and are still asking me to not make their names public. 

What would you call this atmosphere?