#also sometimes i do mine late but other people do theirs late too. it’s a thing

[scholarhect]

one reason i can’t have kids is i would so be the “baaaabe when are their doctor’s appointments again?” parent. the “yeah i’ll pack their suitcase but can you look through it and make sure i didn’t forget anything?” parent. very bad, but also, feminist? except i’d be doing it to a woman, so, not feminist? basically what this says is that i could never be married to a man. and i also can never have kids

[fooled-around-and-fell]

Hey! I hope you're good! I saw that requests are open, and so I wanted to send one in. It's totally fine if you'd rather not write it, but I'll just shoot my shot xD. So I was wondering if you could write something about Gojo being the nicest guy when he falls in love with someone? I just had my heart broken by someone and it was stupid and everything so I'm just really in the need of some fluffy Satoru where he knows how to value his partner. Because he's at the age where he knows it's not time to mess around, and also because he's already lost so many people he doesn't take his partner for granted? (Could also be kind of something where he's just a little older than reader maybe, so he knows when to be more serious. Lmao ik it isn't actually Gojo if he's being serious but you get what I mean)💙

hey! I hope you're doing okay ❤️ thank you for this request and I wish you all the best, you're gonna be okay, you got this ✨

summary: gojo satoru shows you what real love is pairing: gojo satoru x female reader genre: fluff content warnings: ooc gojo satoru, fluff Masterlist

-----

Falling in love is easy.

The hard part is where you choose to stay.

You have to work on it endlessly, each and every day. For some people it's easier to walk away, while those who gets left behind don't get a say and is left to deal with what once was theirs.

It took you a minute to move on from your ex. Looking back, it seems so stupid, so careless, so meaningless, sometimes you wonder why you dated your ex in the first place.

For character development, you convince yourself. You learned some lessons from it, so hopefully in your next relationship, you'll know better.

Which is why when you first met Satoru, you felt a little scared.

A little scared because it's happening all over again. After a few dates, you realize you do like him, and you do want to have something serious with him.

It's the way he'll open doors for you, makes sure you're drinking enough water, prepares vitamins on the kitchen counter -- they all sound like tiny actions that don't matter, but it touches your heart.

It's not only that, though.

It's also how he'd return your kindness tenfold, how he makes sure to text you he's a bit busy so you won't be left waiting around all day, how he'll always book a reservation even though it's just a regular date night and not a celebration.

Sometimes you wonder what did you do to deserve someone like him, and without even asking out loud, he'll reassure you that he's with you because he wants to.

There is no other shoe.

"You feel like going out today?"

You hum, considering it. "Not really. Says it's gonna rain. You wanna stay in and cook? I can make pasta."

"You cooked yesterday, it's my turn."

"Yeah, but you got home late yesterday from work. You must be pretty tired."

Satoru looks at you like you're silly. "You got home late too! What are you talking about?"

"Well yeah, but your job is more difficult than mine-"

"No, no, no." He stops you, "We're not doing this. The agreement is that we switch every day-"

"-or every other day-"

"-if the other person is exhausted." Satoru finishes. "I'm not exhausted, so I'm cooking."

Noticing you're about to argue again, he pinches your nose. "End of discussion. Now go relax, I'm making something delicious."

Rubbing your red nose, you smile and silently follow him to the kitchen. Satoru knows that no matter what he does, you'll always try to show him how much you appreciate him -- it's been your thing since you first started dating, and Satoru has given up trying to tell you that sometimes you don't need to always return the favor. Sometimes he just wants to do something nice.

You, of course, will never listen, so he decides that he'll just have to one up you every single time.

"I'm gonna make a side salad." You say, taking out the romaine lettuce.

"Okay, then I'll make dessert."

You can only smile appreciatively and shake your head. That's Satoru for you.

Your mind suddenly travels to the past, remembering how you'd spend hours alone in the kitchen to prepare a meal for your ex boyfriend, and how he'd come home late, and turns out he had eaten. He didn't even tell you.

And you chuckle to yourself, thinking how foolish you were to have stayed that long. Look at you now, spending time with your lover who showers you with love, shows you how much you mean to him, and never needing to ask "are we okay" if you happen to have an argument.

"Why're you laughing to yourself, hmm?" Satoru nudges your hip with his.

You smile at him, "Just... Just want you to know that I'm really grateful for you, Satoru. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Satoru visibly blushes, his lips shaking, "Hey, you're being too sweet now. That's my job."

He circles his arms around your waist as you continue sprinkle some cocoa powder on the tiramisu you made together (of course you insisted on helping make the dessert).

"You're the light of my life," He says, resting his head on your shoulder. "Hope you know that I- Achoo!"

You gasp and can't help but laugh as Satoru chokes on the cocoa powder. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"F-fine-" He coughs and laughs at the same time.

You hand him a glass of water and chuckle as he downs it. "Who knew Gojo Satoru's nemesis is now cocoa powder."

"Hey, you try inhaling that, it can be dangerous." He clears his throat a few times.

Giggling, you hug him tightly and press a kiss gently on his chin. "I love you, Satoru."

"I love you too, sweets."

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Curious, do your Tav ideas work with dark urge too? Also cuddles! Have any cuddling head canons you’d like to share? :)

I honestly haven't seen enough dark urge playthroughs to say for certain. If anybody has a dark urge Astarion romance compilation they want to recommend me I'll take a look.

I will say I think Ace!Tav would be a very reluctant durge. I can't imagine them enjoying the violence and actively fight it at every chance, at least in how I characterize them in my brain.

As for cuddles, stand back, I'm about to ramble.

Let's be up front about this, both Astarion and Ace!Tav are touch starved as fuck

Astarion might have had a string of lovers, but we all saw what he looks like when he first got a hug; man doesn't know what to do with his hands, he hasn't been properly cuddled in centuries

Meanwhile Ace!Tav has more or less trained themselves to hold back on touching other people

When hugs and cuddles are tied to romantic connection, and romance is tied to sex, it's hard to get cuddles without something more being asked for

They had more than one relationship where they said yes to sex because what they really wanted was the cuddles after; it's a mess

So when Astarion and Ace!Tav finally get the whole truth out in the open about how they care for one another and that neither of them are particularly interest in sex, a whole new world opens up

It's slow going at first, neither are entirely certain what the rules are

Ace!Tav starts first, a brush of the hand here and head on the shoulder there

Slowly Astarion starts to reciprocate, squeezing their fingers and pulling them closer

One night they stay out late talking; not about anything in particular, just to enjoy each other's company and pass the time

Ace!Tav starts to get tired and says they need to go to bed...and, if Astarion wants to join them, he can, if he wants

Astarion just nods, any thought of words escaping him as Ace!Tav leads him to their tent

It's a bit awkward at first; Astarion is unfamiliar with this and honestly annoyed with himself that he's so clueless, his only consolation is that Ace!Tav seems just as unsure as him

Eventually they lay down facing each other, with Ace!Tav asking him if this was alright

He then takes the initiative, pulling them closer so his arms can wrap properly around them; he can feel their heart beat against his chest, echoing inside him like a memory

It's only then does he relax, knowing for certain that this really is all either of them want

After that, they hardly spend a night apart

Astarion may not need to sleep, but that's not going to stop him from cuddling with Ace!Tav until they do

They switch big spoon and little spoon

Some times Astarion wants to drift off to the sound of their heart in his ear and sometimes he wants to wrap them in his arms, knowing he's trust enough to keep them safe

In all honesty, Ace!Tav prefers to be the little spoon, but they can't deny there is something satisfying in being the big spoon now and again

Both of them had fallen victim to the cat in the lap rule; if one of them in laying on top of the other, they can't move for anything, no excuses

This starts to slowly extend to outside the tent as well

In actuality Ace!Tav is a very physically affectionate person, and Astarion is more than willing to indulge them

What better way to announce to the world, "this person is mine and I am theirs"

Hand holding, hand kisses, and playful nudges abound

It takes a lot of patience and communication to get to the point, but Gods does it feel right when they do

[diagonal-queen]

The Flags in Highschool

♡ characters: Pianoman, Albatross, Doc, Lippmann, Iceman

♡ synopsis: What type of student would each of the Flags be in highschool?

♡ cw: Swearing, Lippmann is nonbinary cry about it, mentions of vapes

note: I have no idea where this came from. I guess my need for Flags content is taking over my brain lmao (I promise I won't only write Stormbringer content from now on I pinky swear) and I know I have tons of stuff still in my inbox from ages ago that you guys requested. I HAVE seen them and I do plan on writing them. At this point in time I'm just sapped dry of any inspiration, so sometimes I just need to get whatever I can. This time around it was flag shit. I apologise for the wait and I love all of you. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Pianoman (the prep)

Definitely the leader of whatever student council is at the school he attends (unanimous vote)

He is always on top of his shit. He never gets detention, never turns in any late assignments, never gets into any fights

Has extra supplies for people who've forgotten theirs, from spare pens and pencils to spare tampons for the period-havers

Is the kid that your parents compare you to and say 'why can't you be more like him' (if your parents are anything like mine, anyway)

Helps people study and write notes for exams- he has a collaborative doc that nobody ever needs to edit because the notes are always perfect

Is the one that has to show the new kids around because he makes the student body look really good lmao

Hosts every single event, fundraiser, volunteers a lot

Though he looks like he knows what he's doing he definitely doesn't get enough sleep

So he has a very concerning coffee dependence- probably drugs himself up on caffeine to get through exam weeks (please someone tell him to stop)

He might be generally nice and an academic but he also has blackmail on basically anyone who's ever crossed him so...don't get on his bad side I guess

Albatross (the goofball)

The class clown that everybody loves even though he's a little piece of shit

Definitely bounces from clique to clique, cus he's friends with literally everyone lmao. Even the kids who don't even like him are willing to have him around

Is the reason why Pianoman began bringing spare supplies to school (he fully gets by by just borrowing other people's things)

Never wears his uniform correctly, and is always getting in trouble for it with his teachers, but he never changes anything

He skips classes ALL THE TIME and doesn't bother to hide it. If you have a free period and decide to go to the store for something you'll more than likely find him vaping out the front lol

(Sorry yall he just seems like the type of guy who vapes- I do not endorse the use of e-cigarettes. There now you can't sue me)

Spreads insane rumours about himself because he thinks it's funny, and then acts shocked when people ask him about said rumors

Always has food/snacks in class and teachers are far past trying to stop him from eating while in class

He's so good at P.E. it's kinda scary. He can throw, run, swim, kick...everyone wants him on their team

If there was ever a Matilda-style student uprising...we all know who's leading it lmao

Doc (the weird kid)

Okay when I say weird kid I don't mean 'kid who crosses your name off the list when you're nice to him'

I mean 'kid who sniffs glue and knows too much about WW2'

Doc is absolutely the type to get straight As without putting in even a LICK of effort. He just never studies, and he never helps anyone else study either

A bit of a wallflower, but he's by no means a bad guy. He's just kinda offputting at first

A little bit too enthusiastic about the science classes where he gets to dissect small animal corpses (he's really good at it it's frightening)

Brings his own lunch from home

Always in the nurse's office, he keeps other sick students company (he's exempt from P.E.)

He's like reverse gifted kid burnout- when he was younger he was a late bloomer but now he's one of the smartest kids in the grade

Even though people don't spend time with him they don't wanna get on his bad side because they know he's gonna become some world-renowned doctor after school and they don't wanna deal with that karma. Plus he's a little bit creepy

Nobody knows ANYTHING about his home life

Lippmann (the popular/theatre kid)

You might be thinking that 'popular kid' and 'theatre kid' contradict one another but you'd be surprised. Everyone LOVES this guy

The lead in every single school play regardless of what type of character they are (gender and body type mean nothing to him)

Also lowkey kind of a whore. He's probably dated most of his peers and yet they're all still enamoured with him

Probably has a super high follower count on Instagram (why are highschoolers so obsessed with Insta)

Kinda friends with all the teachers and so people call him a teacher's pet/tryhard (i'm TOOOOTALLY not projecting here)

One of the first kids to come out as queer (nonbinary) so he supports other kids and helps them with their own sexuality/identity

Though he mediates when his classmates fight, he secretly LOVES the drama and lowkey wants to be an enabler (but that would ruin his reputation)

Definitely comes from a rich family and probably helps fund the school- gets a lot of awards for nepotism reasons

Has tons of potential with his academics but never utilises it- he's more comfortable not studying and getting 80% than studying and getting 90%

Gets voted most likely to be famous in the yearbook

Iceman (the scary dog)

He's actually really good at school and gets pretty good grades. How does he do this? You'll never know

Always sits in the back of the class, but he's not bothering anyone back there so teachers don't care. In fact they'd probably rather have him back there because even they're kinda scared of him

Also knows a concerning amount about WW2, but it's less the gory gore stuff and more the war-y war stuff

Surprisingly good at humanities subjects. Never try to get into a political argument with him because he has his sources CITED

Though he's really scary and not many people would willingly approach him, he's actually really nice and gentle

Stands up for kids who get bullied and checks in on them sometimes

Scholarship kid

Likes loitering in the library and reads a lot in his spare time (he has tons of overdue library books to return)

If a bird or a bug or something flies into the classroom he's the one who's always designated to pick it up and gently guide it back outside

Always argues with teachers if they say homophobic/sexist/racist things and gets in trouble for it but doesn't care (a king)

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

[chaithetics]

Bear nonnie here! how are you? how has your health been? it's been a while (forgot my tumblr password lel)

here to report that I re-read porce and the shark, iconic really. I also saw the most recent season of Fargo, which was very good, Juno temple was stellar, I reccommend (rip it tho because the coen brother's are zionists), that also send me back into my strangers thing phase #throwback, (also rip it tho because of the nasty zionist cast). I remember why Joe Keery was a crush of mine, Steve Harrington and Gator Tillman are attractive in veryyyyyy different ways.

but Arian you remain #1 in my heart

what have media have you been liking recently?

Omg hello Bear Nonnie!!! How are you? I've missed you! So great to chat with you again haha!

My health hasn't been the greatest lately, I've been having a pretty miserable lupus flare up. I've had some of the rashes as well which don't make me feel super hot honestly. I hope you've been well?! So easy to happen!

Thank you!!! I'm so glad it's holding up haha, I need to finish some more pieces for that series. I have so many ideas and characters I want to write for atm, it's tough trying to balance it all with the rest of adulting.

Juno Temple has great comedic timing, I've only seen the Fargo film but I saw a clip of her accent and I was so surprised at how good it was. I didn't know that about the Coen brothers, that's so disappointing, I know Joel Coen signed the open letter supporting Jonathan Glazer's speech at the oscars. So hopefully that means he's re-evaluated, reflected on earlier comments and taken time to educate himself more on what's happening and has been been happening since the Nakba. Ethan Coen didn't sign that letter though. I'm not really a Coen brothers stan, I've only seen a couple of projects of theirs but it's still always disappointing to know that there's other human beings with awful, zionist beliefs. Especially when they're people with platforms most of us don't have. Joe Keery's character in Fargo does seem verrrryyy different for him!

Arian is our number one man! That's not a phone in his pocket, it's my heart!

I recently finished Fallout! I really enjoyed it! I love Ella Purnell and it was so cool to see Moisés Arias in a big project like this after watching Hannah Montana as a kid. I really enjoyed the story, all the social commentary, and the characters. I really want to write some fics for Lucy, Norm, and Maximus! ALSO MAX'S ACTOR IS GIVING YOUNG DENZEL WASHINGTON?!?!?!?! Somebody PLEASE beg me to write some fallout fics so I feel like I can procrastinate with that!

Other than that I've mainly been watching films! I watched Ava DuVernay's latest film 'Origin' last week. It had your fav Jon Bernthal in it! He played a very sweet wholesome guy! I enjoyed the film, I think there were a few holes in it/the thesis but it was an ambitious experiment. I really loved Monkey Man with Dev Patel! Seeing all the hype and love he's getting is making me very happy. I saw Skins way too young... I saw Past Lives and American Fiction for the first time recently and really enjoyed them as well. My friend and I are trying to see Challengers and Abigail at the cinemas but the times aren't lining up. I've been doing a bit of an Oscar Isaac marathon as well. I've been trying to get my book reading up and more 'international' cinema! What media have you been consuming since you sent this in? I'm so stoked for The Bear S3! I think we're getting it next month sometime?

Absolutely adore you Bear Nonnie! Hope you're having the best day! I always enjoy replying to your asks. Send another one in when you get a chance and I'm always happy to message about films! ❤️❤️❤️

(Someone please tell me to write Fallout fanfic now pls)

[inflame]

repost and rate your muse's traits out of 10 in each category !

★  ⸻   COMPASSION: 8/10. i would say 10 because it really is Her Thing, you know --- her foundation --- but nobody's perfect. laura gets frustrated easily, she can be very impatient, and she sometimes has a difficult time not judging what people get worked up over. and like, yeah, she is aware that she shouldn't do that, and she feels bad about it, but what can i say! at the end of the day, being a 'good victim' is not her priority, nor is it mine, and laura's deep-rooted compassion is not a result of The Trauma. if anything, the strength it had in order to survive what she's been through (and still score a high number) is the testament you're looking for.

★  ⸻   BITTERNESS: 5/10. it isn't a driving force in her life, but it's definitely something she has difficulty ditching entirely; it can flare up, especially when she's already down. make her petty and jealous and mean.

★  ⸻   HAPPINESS: well, until junior high, she was consistently close to a 10. i think it's important to understand that. her biggest stressors were making sure her mom was doing okay and that she kept up with her 500 different extracurricular activities. then, for a long time, she ran from about a 2 to 4. for the most part, once she's past that (late teens), i'd probably put her around a 6 --- but it's also kind of just something she stopped thinking about. it doesn't really compute as a need.

★  ⸻   POLITENESS: her default setting is about a 4/10, but she definitely "knows better". she's capable of an 8 or 9, but if she's scoring that high, she's definitely being paid for her time.

★  ⸻   MORALITY: her own? 10/10: you won't catch her doing anything that she genuinely believes is wrong of her to do. i think most people would disagree with many of her assessments and give her a 6 or 7, but that's not really my problem. i trust her judgment more than theirs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

★  ⸻   CHIVALRY: if you can negate gender (both hers and other people's), probably like an 8/10. laura is always the knight in any fairy tale analogy.

★  ⸻   PRIDE: 7/10, generally. closer to 10 in her 'secret diary' era, in the absolute least constructive way. hence the abrupt turnaround.

★  ⸻   HONESTY: 6/10. she doesn't have a problem with lying and she will do it without needing a reason --- but it's not typically her first inclination, especially once she's old enough to stop answering to Authority Figures™. there's not much else to say about it. withholding / lying through omission is harder for her to avoid, but it's mainly just because she is too type A to live.

★  ⸻   BRAVERY: 10/10. yeah. laura is not fearless, but what she is is the human embodiment of "stay afraid, but do it anyway".

★  ⸻   RECKLESSNESS: maybe a 6 or 7 overall, and a higher number during The High School Years --- but even then, i would never call laura self-destructive, is the thing. most of her most textbook reckless behavior is actually her just trying to stay alive, so when there's no need for it anymore there is, well, [largely] no need for it anymore. but she will always have hedonistic tendencies.

★  ⸻   AMBITION: 5/10. she's very driven in terms of like, doing whatever she does well, but doesn't have much ambition in the general sense (apart from wanting to do as much as she can to make things better for people, but outside of specific circumstances, that's pretty abstract). she doesn't have big dreams for herself.

★  ⸻   LOYALTY: well, it's complicated. she won't be teaching classes on it. it's hard for laura to be consistent in a lot of ways (especially when she's Experiencing The Horrors ... or just plain young) and she isn't the greatest at making sure people know how she feels. vulnerability is hard! it doesn't come naturally to her! but if she loves a person --- like, really loves them --- there's nothing she wouldn't do for them. and they're basically stuck with her for life. so... 7/10? maybe?

★  ⸻   LOVE: i want to say 10/10, but i don't know how objective that is. probably not at all. she's an incredibly loving person, but she's also very guarded from most people. she has to ration herself/her energy so she doesn't get overwhelmed and burned out. so... 8/10? 7?

★  ⸻   SENSE OF FAMILY: uh. god. it is not what it used to be. but i think, in a way, it is stronger after all that loss? like, for so long there was so much wrong in her family that laura couldn't quite put her finger on, and that caused her to pull away from everyone, just in case. finding out who she couldn't trust illuminated all the people she still COULD, and allowed her to reaffirm and strengthen those relationships, which is a big priority afterward. so it's good. it's shaky, and it's kind of hard to define, but it's good. 7/10.

★  ⸻   ATTRACTIVENESS: i don't know. she is my daughter and people are fucking weird. and they know her mainly as a 17-year-old girl (who actually pretty much looks like a 17-year-old girl!). i will say it's not really a priority for her to BE attractive, though; she cares much more about being tidy. she's pretty! i doubt anyone would disagree with that! but the magnetism she has on whatever level is mainly charisma.

★  ⸻   AGILITY: physically like, pretty bad, after Certain Events. she went from probably an 8 to about a 4. mentally... too good for her own good. probably a 9/10. she may not be my smartest character but she is very, very quick. if she WERE ambitious we would all be in trouble.

★  ⸻   SEX DRIVE: you don't need to worry about it.

tagged by: @inrovina 💜 tagging: @uncaptiable, @pluresque (eddie and/or donna), @axeattitude, @grayboxed, @diaboluse, and you!

[lumilasi]

A surprise ask game! List 10 facts about your ocs and then tag 5 other people to learn things about theirs!

(I actually got this a little while back but forgot about it, since I'm getting tagged a lot this week, figured might as well do this one too now lmao)

I decided to pick 5 characters with 2 facts about each, as I have so many lol

1. Yoruga’s name, Yoruga Shirushi, is not his real name, but the name he chose for himself after leaving his birth family behind. 

2. Yoruga is basically his bestie Kiyoi’s wingman, often helping him with his crush issues (and he does do the same with the said crush who’s also his friend lol. It’s basically that Toothless meme of hiccup being in the bush like “You’re doing great buddy!”)

3. Azul, (one of my older characters I haven’t drawn that much lately, I’ve abandoned my boy oh no :(( ) used to be single and not meant to have a love interest, but then I realized his dynamic with Diojas (another oc of mine) was far more fun than shipping Diojas with Azul’s brother, so I changed it lol

4. Azul has changed the least visually from his first appearance out of all of my characters; I only really upgraded his outfit somewhat. 

5. Toshiko’s voice claim is Rukia from bleach; their personalities are somewhat alike, with both appearing serious at first glance, but also having this kind of awkward side to them. 

6. Toshiko is often VERY embarrassed by her little half-sister Akiko’s shenanigans (they share the same dad but have different mums, their parents had/have a polyamorous pan relationship, which means the mums were a couple too, not just a case of a dude with two wives), though she does actually genuinely appreciate her efforts in trying to bond with her.

7. Jurou’s relationship with his mother was strained at first (this is a recent story update for his BG story I’ve decided to make, as the current one needs too much suspension of disbelief in some aspects) and he can still sometimes be a bit harsh towards her.

8. Designing him was super hard, but once I got it he became one of my favorite characters lmao, Spider Dad is just too much fun to draw

9. Belladonna is probably my most well-rounded villains so far, lot of her actions/reasoning feels fairly believable and human, namely bad choices/bad stuff humans can do willingly. It all also ties well to her personality and feels consistent without too much need for suspension of disbelief; I still need to work on the other ones more in comparison. (this is all stuff only in her bio so far, but I do want to draw some things pertaining to it eventually)

10. Belladonna is one of the few villain characters in this “story” that if this was a real manga/comic, she would not get redeemed in the end, namely because I feel her character doesn’t require it. Unlike some others, all the bad things coming her way were caused fully by her, by her own knowing actions, by her refusal to take responsibility, and even now she doesn’t necessarily regret them. (not saying you can’t redeem characters like this, but I personally wouldn’t feel the need to do that for her in my own story lol)

EDIT: So apparently Tumblr refused to tag people properly, let me try again >:C

@macckenchiz (right back at chu mu ha ha ha) @itsmikatheghost, @bothvinforfaen, @mad-hatter-rici​ aand....I don’t know enough people with ocs to tag a fifth I think? oh well

[spadecentral]

Enzo Wood Post

this is a post dedicated to my persona/oc! i am always welcome to questions about them!

wonderful art done by @/indulgentandidiotic!! chibi version done terribly by me

Enzo has their own blog at @enzo-wood

Name: Enzo Wood

Nickname(s): Pufferfish (Floyd);

Age: 17

Pronouns: They/He

Birthday: Aug. 17

Height: 5'10 (177 cm-ish)

Eye Color: Periwinkle | #a8a8c2

Hair Color: Naturally blonde, dyed everything but bangs black

Family: Father (out of the picture), Mother

Homeland: Shaftlands

Dorm: Ramshackle

School Year: Second

Class: 2-C, Student No. 32

Occupation: Student, Prefect, Part-time worker at Sam's

Club: Track and Field

As a young child, Enzo had developed a habit of running to catch the bus to get to school. They almost missed the bus every day. Now, they want to refine their skills.

Best Subject: Defense Magic

Dominant Hand: Right

Favorite Food: Shrimp

Sometimes, Enzo likes to enjoy this seafood delicacy! But, they hate scallops, which have almost the same taste but not the right texture! They also dislike any kind of fish.

Least Favorite Food: Pineapples

After so many years of having the same food practically stuffed down their throat because of sales, Enzo no longer enjoys the taste of the yellow fruit.

Dislikes: Homophobes

Mostly their father had to do something with it, but in general their least favorite people to encounter are homophobes.

Hobby: Watercolor Painting

Enzo's mother loved to do arts-and-crafts, and decided to share her hobby with her child, making it theirs as well.

Talent: Blot Knowledge

This is an intuition-based talent that corresponds with part of their background. It's kind of like a metal detector that will tell Enzo when they're closer or farther from an overblot/someone who might overblot.

Appearance:

Enzo has blond bangs with the rest of their hair dyed black. They have a black triangle below their right eye from an overblot incident they had when they were younger. They have freckles on their shoulders as well. Enzo has a tongue piercing as well as a split tongue. They have multiple (other) ear piercings that they only wear outside of school.

He is seen wearing the vest, but not the blazer of a gray uniform around the school. Instead of wearing the gray-and-white ribbon that was given to them as part of their uniform, they instead keep it in their pocket.

Their magical pen is in their back pocket. It has a light-gray gem, signaling the dorm they're in.

Personality:

Enzo is a calm and collected person, who is truly only comfortable with their mother. They are a tidy person who likes to keep their (and other people's) belongings in order. Despite being late all the time when they were younger, he now prefers to be early/on time for everything! Enzo has several alarms on their phone that are ready to ring every day. When they do not respond to the alarms, their whole day is ruined.

Although sometimes coming off as standoffish, they do care for the people around them. Enzo tends to show affection in acts of service!

They prefer to be in the moment and make things perfect then, than think to far ahead. When thinking too far ahead their mind gets hazy, so they try not to think about it too much.

Background:

Enzo Wood lives with their mother, as their father left when their mother came out to him as bisexual. Living a very full life, he appreciated all of the outings their mother took them on.

But there was one outing that they never really enjoyed. When they were younger, Enzo went to NRC with their mother for Halloween. Unfortunately, they had gotten separated in the crowd of jostling people. Young and scared, Enzo forgot to find an adult and went running. He ended up very far away from the NRC campus and encountered an overblot (like the one in the mines). They had gotten hit by the monster, and the mark is sort of a scar from it.

Skills and Magic:

Exceptional Stamina: From track & field club

Cosmic Magic: Enzo prefers to have a weapon that can benefit no one rather than a weapon that has the possibility to backfire.

Defense Magic: Traumatized from a childhood incident, they try to make sure that it never reoccurs to them or to anyone else.

Unique Magic: Suit My Needs

This magic is used best in overblot battles and allows them to use their opponents overblot as their weapon.

Trivia:

Enzo almost forced Sam to let them work with him

They use their money to fix the dorm slowly

They can cook really well; but cannot bake at all

The ghosts of Ramshackle like to say that Enzo is their adopted child

The blot that had attached to Enzo had skewed the mirror's judgement, hence why they were placed in Ramshackle

If they had no blot experience he would most likely have been placed in Heartslabyul

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi! :) I hope you are having a good day! I wanted to ask a question about enneagram 4 (and possibly people with 4 as a heart fix?). 

I've been thinking about how 4s said to view the world as too shallow for them. Could it be a little similar to 7s positive re-framing, but... negative? Like, 4s re-frame the reality in a more negative light to elevate their sense of individuality and superiority (instead of trying to protect yourself from negative feelings like 7s do)?

Something like "yes, this person might be living a more "successful" life, but they don't have the depth that I have, since they clearly haven't been through as much as I have, everything is given to them on a silver platter, their experiences are less valuable and less deep compared to mine".

When I was thinking about it, I got reminded of all the people who say  "lmao you are so unfunny you clearly had a normal childhood" (I have a vendetta against self-depreciating disguised as humor, it's extremely unfunny and makes me uncomfortable). Is that also a 4 thing? Putting down someone for having a better experience, to feel more deep and valuable (and in this case, better sense of humor)? 

Of course, I could be totally wrong about them. Right now, for me, enneagram 4s are one of the hardest types to understand and sympathize with, so I've been thinking about them a lot lately. Thank you a lot!

Yes, that is very 4. 4s feel different from other people, like there is a void they cannot cross, so to cope, they make themselves better by being different, because it at least means they are not as 'basic' as others -- sort of like, "You seem happy. Happiness eludes me. So I am deeper, because a superficial existence doesn't satisfy me. You are too easily pleased/entertained/etc." It's negativity but also defensive -- it would be nice to be as happy as you are, but that isn't possible (because I am broken and you are shallow) so my way is better, even if it frustrates me. The 4 is dwelling in their frustration, and they cope with elitism and over-identifying with their broken-ness (the ways life is unfair to me, the ways I am broken / have been ruined), because no one else has been broken in the same way I am; so I am unique because of my wounds.

The 4 doesn't want to find a support group, or know that how they feel is normal, because that means they are not special anymore -- they don't want to be fixed, because then there might be no distance between them and others, no way for them to stand out and be seen as different. (If you see a "4" posting something inviting others to relate to it, they are an attachment type and not a 4.) 4s feel angry and disgusted if other people are remotely "like me" because their identity is wrapped up in the differences between themselves and others, in not being someone who is 'relatable.' I am me, this is my ugly wound and nobody else has one like mine. But that's okay, because my taste is better than theirs anyway.

I knew a girl once, I wasn't aware she was a 4w3 at the time, who insulted her online friends one day by making a self-congratulating post about how she was so glad to have good taste in everything; she then was confused about why people got upset at her implying that they did not have good taste for "the best things in life" by preferring "basic" things like subpar wine and popular novels. Other types can have some contempt for things they dislike and/or that are basic / mainstream, but with the 4 it comes across so much stronger, and is framed in terms of "things I hate." 4s can sometimes focus more on what they hate than what they love, and build their identity around the things that "I hate so much."

"OMG, I hate her/him/that/this trend/it's so UGH."

[roipecheur]

How to do fandom on tumblr

An unofficial guide from someone who has been using this godforsaken website since 2010

1. The Algorithm

Tumblr can have an algorithm if you want that, but trust me, you don’t want that. Go into your settings and turn off “best stuff first” for your dashboard. Sometimes I do find good stuff in the “for you” tab, but it always gets repetitive, I always get bored, and I come back to my dash that is sorted in reverse chronological order. This is one of the few remaining sites that does this and is one of its best features. Personally, I follow few enough people that I always get caught up on my dashboard. Not everyone does this, but one of the things I enjoy about tumblr is that I know I’m not potentially missing half the shit everyone posts like on facebook.

2. Likes

I’ve seen a couple posts saying likes are useless. First, likes are not useless, but you gotta understand how they work on tumblr. Likes mean one of two things:

Showing solidarity on someone’s personal post, like an acknowledgment of whatever they said, good or bad

(Kudos on AO3 basically serves the same function, like an “I appreciate you”)

That you’re saving a post for later  

Saving for later can mean that you’re planning on reblogging it later. Maybe I’m on mobile and my connection is slow and I don’t want to wait for the reblog to load. Maybe I want to read the linked article later. Maybe I’m not planning on reblogging the post, but want to show someone irl the weird cat video I’ve stuck in my likes. Maybe I do want to come back to something later, but for whatever reason, don’t want to reblog it.

However, likes do not make it more likely (hah) that other people will see a particular post, because a lot of tumblr users, especially people who have been here a long time, do not interact with the algorithm. So, from the stance of fic writers, artists, gif makers, people who make fanmixes, etc., a like is not useless, but it’s not particularly useful. It’s great for me to see that you like my posts, but what really blows my hair back is when you like it enough to share it with others.

You don’t need to make your likes visible. Mine aren’t, and a lot of people who have been here for a long time don’t have theirs visible either. If you want other people to see this stuff, reblog it.

3. Reblogs

Reblogging is what will make people more likely to see your post. Reblogging is great. Most of the posts on this blog and most of the posts on most tumblr blogs are reblogs. It’s the function this whole site is built on and what most of us rely on to actually see stuff. Did you like a post? Did it make you laugh? Was the art really pretty or was the fic it linked to really good? Reblog it! Share it! People who follow you may like to see it too!

Also, reblog--but don’t repost. Saving and reuploading people’s shit will make everyone very mad at you. 

4. Tagging

There are two types of tags: metadata tags and comment tags

Metadata is basically how you organize stuff. Tagging something on your blog allows you to find it later. (Yes, tumblr’s search feature is garbage, but if I create a new post with the same tag, go to my blog, and select it, it allows me to see all posts with that tag.) I have over 4k posts on this blog, which I started in late 2020, and 14K on the blog I’ve had since 2016. (Yes, I’ve been on this site since 2010, but I deleted and recreated in 2016.) I have about 500 likes that I do go back and weed through from time to time to either reblog or get rid of stuff. However, I absolutely could not do that with 18k likes. Do you think you might want to listen to that song or look at those gifs again later? Reblog it! Tag it! It may spark joy when you’re having a bad day! It’s also a nice thing for other people looking through your blog. I will sometimes see one person go through and like or reblog an entire character or ship tag, and I love to see it.

Typically, you want to do your metadata tags first and then your comment tags because tumblr is sometimes weird about the searchability of tags after the first five. (Only the first five tags of og posts will show up in searchable tags on tumblr.) Historically, it was seen as more polite to limit your rambling to the tags on a reblog rather than putting it in the body of the post because the notification with your text would show up right on OP’s dashboard and the dashboard of the person you reblogged it from. All of the notifications used to show up right there on the dashboard for you to scroll past. Those were dark days. But you did not add anything to the body of the post unless you thought it was vitally important. Someone else, though, could copy and paste your tags and add it to the body of the post when they reblogged it, and that was fine. It’s called peer review. These days, the stuff you add to the body of the post is more easily ignored by OP, so go ahead and add it if you want it. Some people may find it annoying, but they can always go back to OP or the person you reblogged it from if they don’t want the post with your comments on it.

A new-ish feature of tagging is that now what you said in the tags also shows up in notifications. As before, these will show up for both OP and the person you reblogged it from. So, the tags are now a great place to tell OP you liked something. Did you love someone’s art or fic? Tell them in the tags! I guarantee you will make their day. If it’s fic, you can do both this and comment on AO3. I promise a fic is never too old for you to do both. I promise it’s never weird or creepy. I want my old stories read the same way authors want their old books read. I may not be a professional author, but I do take pride in the things I’ve created and it does make me super happy whenever someone tells me why they liked something.

5. Searching the Tags & Filtering Tags

You can do this if you want, but it’s not a substitute for following people. Go into a tag that interests you and use it to find people to follow. In almost any popular tag, you will come across some annoying shit that you don’t want to see. Don’t like a particular blog? Block ‘em. It’s not personal. I’ve blocked AO3 feed blogs because they show up in the tag all the time and if I wanted to see that, I’d just be going to AO3 and searching the ship tag. Some people like getting their fics in a feed and follow those blogs, which is also fine. You do you. No one gets a notification that some rando blocked them, so don’t worry about that.

You can also filter out tags you don’t want to see by going to your tumblr settings and finding the filter options. Hate x-reader? Block that tag. Does a ship or character set your teeth on edge? Block that tag, and you won’t see it on your dash from people you follow either, although you will see a black box telling you they made a post including that tag. Is someone you follow suddenly posting a ton for a piece of media you don’t care about or don’t want to be spoilered for yet? You guessed it: Block that tag!

6. Commenting on People’s Posts

Literally only use the comment feature if it’s the personal post of someone you follow. It gets lost otherwise and isn’t useful. If you want to talk to someone you follow about a post they reblogged, I use the ‘send’ feature on the post to send them a message with the post and then tell them what you want to say. It’s way more likely they’ll see this than a comment.

7. Asks vs. Messaging

In the old days, we only had asks. Then we couldn’t send links in asks because something something spam something something. (We still got spam.) Then we could only send a certain number of asks per hour. (This also didn’t stop the spam.) Then we got this thing that doesn’t exist anymore called fanmail? Which was kind of like asks but not? Also, it used to be that you had to post asks publicly, they were not rebloggable, and you did not get any notification that someone had answered your ask. Like I said, dark days.

History aside, you should generally use the ‘ask’ feature first if you want to talk to someone. This is kind of like commenting on their facebook or instagram post rather than DMing them immediately. It allows them to reply publicly if they want to (depending on what you said) and allows you both to set a tone. If you’re sending asks back and forth all the time, you might then want to transition to messaging. Or maybe you just start talking on Discord.

8. Following & Getting Followers

You should follow people. It’s what makes tumblr fun. That’s how you get fandom shit but also just the fun little things people are interested in. It’s a way to interact with people instead of coming here to share and/or consume what’s increasingly being called content. On that note, remember that these are people doing stuff for free on their free time. Don’t make weird demands that they draw something you want or update a fic that may have lagged for awhile.

Posting and reblogging is also how you get followers. It’s also good to customize your blog by adding an icon and header image, and by using a default or custom layout to change how it looks on desktop if that’s something you care about. This is fun and shows other people on tumblr that you are real and not a bot. Seriously, we’re used to seeing blank blogs that are just bots and not real people, so that’s what those who have been here awhile will think you are if you have a blank blog and have only ever liked things.

Don’t worry about your follower count. Seriously, don’t. No one else can see it, and it’s better for you if you learn to stop worrying and love making your own weird little posts and reblogs in this weird little abandoned mine shaft of a site.

9. Sharing to Other Sites

In almost all cases, it’s rude to share fanworks from tumblr to another site or to share fanworks from another site to tumblr without permission. Say you see an amazing fanart on Twitter, but the artist isn’t on tumblr. If you really want it on your blog here, ask them if you can post it with a link back to their tweet, and of course respect them if they say no. You may also want to add a note that it’s posted with permission--I try not to reblog stuff that I know is reposted from other sites without that.

Discord is fine, though. These are private chats, so just post a link rather than saving / reuploading the image. This lets people go back to the post and reblog it if they like it. And if you are having a conversation about loving someone’s art or fic or etc. in Discord, please also come tell OP about it! If someone came and told me they were having a little book club discussion in Discord and some of the stuff people were saying about one of my fics, it would probably make my whole week.

10. Fandom is About Community

[Gently takes you by the shoulders and looks you in the eyes] Fandom is about the community. It’s about the community of other weirdos who like the same weird shit as you do. Yes, I’m driven to write, and yes, I do spend long hours writing fics by myself, putting in the work for this labor of love. But this tweet honestly sums up how I feel about that part of it:

[Tweet by Defunctland that says “I hate literally every step in the filmmaking process. The only thing I hate more than making a film is not making a film.” in response to a reddit screencap that says “Whats the one part of your hobby that you hate doing?”]

Sometimes writing flows well and I love doing it. Sometimes I’m compelled to write and can’t think of anything except the story I want to get out. But a lot of time, it is work. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment and pride in something I’ve done like nothing else, but that does not erase the time and effort that goes into it.

What makes all of this worth it is that after I share this labor of love and creation, I get to talk to people about it. I get to participate in the conversation, because fandom is essentially one long conversation.

So, if you like something you see on tumblr: reblog it. Add a comment in the tags. If it links to a fic, follow it to AO3 and comment there. Do you really like someone’s stuff in general and want to tell them? Send them an ask. Like a fandom a lot and want to talk to people about it, but the structure of tumblr is making that difficult? Search for a Discord server. (Literally you can google ‘[insert thing here] discord server tumblr’ and find someone’s post about it.) I also know that Discord isn’t for everyone, so don’t feel bad if you find it unusable. There are other fandom communities on other sites, these are just the ones I’m familiar with. 

In short, talk to people. This whole post has really been about how you talk to people. Part of the creation process is by necessity in a room alone--that’s the only way I can write, personally--but doing nothing except create things in a room alone is a profoundly lonely experience. I wrote a 67k fic like that during heavy quarantine in 2020 after not really writing fic or doing fandom in years, and by the time I finished, I was desperate to find someone to just talk to about the characters and ships that I like. I would not have maintained my interest in fandom or put out nearly the amount I have without the community aspect, no matter how many silent tumblr likes or AO3 kudos I get. I imagine doing nothing but scrolling through and hitting the like button is also a lonely experience and one that may not maintain your interest for long.

To conclude...

You can ultimately do what you want. If you decide that you’d rather keep a blank blog and just like things from the “for you” page, have fun. But if you’re not getting what you want out of this site and/or out of fandom, try talking to people. Be nice, be cool, and play well with the other kids, and you might just make some friends in fandom you’ll still be talking to when you’re old and cranky like me.

[not-that-blog]

Sometimes the cruel things that make you feel insecure were never the things aimed at you.

My sister is the most critical voice in my head, her opinion is the one I valued most growing up and I wanted to be her… this cool, powerful, protective, unstoppable force that no one was capable of hurting. (Aka; I was a very isolated and abused child who couldn't stop feeling so I idolised my older sibling and cousin who seemed to be able to avoid/cope with the pain.... they were not, but a small child looking at an older punk teen who manages to seem stronger than the cruel adults is always the 'cool' one).

But the thing with the person who raised me and was my default background voice (and often still is) being an angsty teenager who was grunge/alt in the 90's and early 00's; is that voice is cruel and judgmental af just in a super different way than the rest of the family's impacts on my brain.

And today it hit how much that hurts.

So I am still okay and I haven't relapsed into anything; which is probably an important note to add.

But I had a photoshoot today and I was vulnerable and my insecurities were on display, but so was my body. And I haven't seen myself in a full length mirror outside of a shopping centre since early February.

And I have gained weight and my body and face has changed on T and I very much look like an incredibly different person.

And I still think that I look great, I am fat, I am plus size, there's no arguing that and I give very few shits about it; because I don't see that as insulting or bad... it's my body and it's neutral and the only frustration I have is knowing that I have been bed bound a lot lately and I can see the early stages of certain pressure sore prone spots starting to get into the red and irritated warning sign stage. (Because I am disabled and I do have to keep those in mind)

I also look like my family members that my sister and other family members whose voices were my internal dialogue for my youth spent a lot of time insulting physically.

Mostly my grandmother and my aunty.

I look like them, eerily so sometimes to the point where I recoil because the last person I want to feel like I look like when taking photos of myself in lewd poses is my aunt... but like ignoring that context where anyone would have a 'oh that feels too similar' moment; I as myself never looked at these women and thought of them as anytime but beautiful.

But I can hear the insults that were made about them and the dieting rambles of theirs and it hurts.

Because my sister would never say those things to me (I think anyway, if she did they would be shut down with full harshness) but those comments about my grandmother and my aunt are imbedded into my brain to the point where I know that is a perspective she would potentially have about me.

That she may have given her children about bodies like mine and they may never be able to look at people around them with the knowledge that a body is just a body and people are beautiful.

I look at photos of myself and regularly hear my father insulting his sisters appearance (the sister who you could put photos of us together and not know whose belonged to whom) and my sister and mother also commenting on her weight and appearance and their comments on my grandmothers body and weight.

I remember the 'chicken wing/turkey neck/lunch lady arms' comments and I was so confused for years.

Because all I could see was women who had been strong, women who carried heavy objects and had rough pregnancies and hormonal conditions and who fought really hard.

I never looked at a body with that cruelty until I was taught to.

I am so angry that their insults at other people, people who even if I despise for other reasons; I can still acknowledge are beautiful in their own right, have impacted how I see myself to a point where I had a viscera reaction of fear and horror at first to seeing my weight gain.

I'm so beautiful and I am so proud of myself for gaining weight back after years and years of killing myself because of anorexia, and I still have to fight those voices.

And the worst part is; they're crueler than my eating disorder.

Yeah; the comments that my family made were bitchier and crueler than the mental personification of a disorder that was determined to kill me or control me.

But my disorder didn't make me feel irreparably ugly. My family did that.

And honestly, if my father didn't have dementia, I would make their life hell for it.

'Why'd you do something like pierce your face'

'Because I wanted to and you were calling me an ugly toad every time you call your sister it because I am her fucking clone; so… like I give a fuck what you say anymore.'

'Grandma was fat'

'Yeah, and I am the same body type as her; there's valid reasons to call her a bitch, let's go with one of those... including her obsession with policing everyone else's bodies because she felt insecure in hers and that if we actually grew we weren't the kind of target her abusive husband wanted'

'That thing looks so ugly, why tf would you do that?'

'Idk Megs, probably because I just don't give a flying fuck about being pretty when no one good or kind gives a fuck if I'm not'

And that's really it isn't it; no one worthy of my time gives a fuck if I'm not traditionally attractive. So why should I be.

[mythica0]

Reddit is being stupid so I’m writing this here to link there- this is inspired by a writing prompt.

“Hey guys!” I called out to my friends-Kyle and Jane- who were sitting at the lunch table.

As usual, my *other* friends were following me. The imaginary ones. I slipped up sometimes- spoke to them in front of other people. They always called me crazy.

But that’s not important.(yet.)

“Hey Gabby!” They called out in sync, waving at me.

I sat down at the table, the dragon siblings( there are eight ,all based on an element. Can be tough to deal with.) laying next to my tray. Gaiya sat on the floor, while Harley and Dazzle elected to stand.

“Oo! Lunch time is always fun!” Ollie spoke, his mermaid-like tail flopping next to him, his wings settled on the table.

“I don’t agree. Too boring.” Fiona sneers from her spot across from him. Her tail, Fire-tipped, crackling but not alighting anything.

I tried to ignore the chatter my friends couldn’t hear.

“How are you guys?”

“We’re awesome!” Jane exclaimed ecstatically.

“Damn right we are.” Kyle replies lightly, with a smug grin on his face.

I roll my eyes and scoff. “Maybe we are. You? Not so much.”

He gasps over-dramatically. “How *dare* you!”

We all dissolve into laughter.

——————

In biology, Gaiya helps me. Her vine-like hair and antlers blocking my view as she looks at my paper. Her gentle, quiet voice is hard to hear in the loud room, but i hear it all the same.

“Oh, actually you flipped those two.” She says, gentle and non-judgmental, pointing to the diagram if environmental progression I was drawing.

I don’t know how she know things I don’t. Considering she, and all of the others, come from my imagination. But sometimes I talk to her about biology and ecosystems late into the night. Or let her talk in her soothing voice until I fall asleep.

—————

In chorus, Dazzle sings along with me. We harmonize together, her thin, ribbon like tails swaying with the music. Her voice is a little higher than mine, she a soprano and I an alto. Her glittery freckles and pink skin shine in the light through the window. She would be an excellent stage performer were she real. Her curly purple hair and bright pink skin might get in the way though.

—————

After dinner, I sit out on the porch. It’s Friday, so I can stay up as late as I want. Harley sits with me. Harley is an odd one out amongst my friends. While the rest are very colorful and bright, Harley is more dark and subdued. He has piercing green sclera, and white irises. I don’t really know what he is. He has the body of a werewolf, but he also has bat wings and a snake as a tail. I suppose he’s the manifestation of my love for Halloween.

We look up at the stars.

—————

The dragon siblings fight a lot. It makes sense, theirs eight of them. All of them are ampitheres(meaning dragons with no legs but two wings)

Ollie is the water dragon. Scarlet is the air. Ellie the lighting, Tourmaline the earth, Fiona the fire, Ivan the ice, Leviathan(or Levi) the light, and Dahlia the Dark.

“Are w-we going anywhere fun today?” Ellie asks, her stutter getting in the way of her speech.

“Maybe. Might go for a walk later.”

My mom here’s me speaking. “Are you talking to yourself again?”

I sigh. “Yes mom.”

She doesn’t see them. Only I do. It makes sense, they’re imaginary after all. (…right?)

Tourmaline flies slowly up to me, his tail weighed down by the large stone attached to it.

“I wonder what she made for breakfast.”

“Yeah, me too. Let’s go and see.”

“I’m cool with whatever. Pun intended.” Ivan flies up as well. He loved making puns about everyone’s element, but especially his own.

“Yeah! Race you down!” Scarlet said, quickly zipping away.

“No one is racing you!- and she’s gone.” Ollie replies.

“I keep telling her no one will race her because we all know she’s the fastest, but will she listen? No.” Dahlia rolls her eyes, following down the stairs.

“I hope we can find something colorful!” Levi pitches in, completely missing that the topic had moved on from what we were doing today.

I chuckle a bit. “Yeah, bud. Me too.”

————

The next day I go to the park with my friends. The real ones this time.

We have a blast together, that is until-

“Ugh, I want expecting to be in the presence of losers today.”

Great. Harold. The name of my entire existence.

He chose me and my friends as targets, I suppose. Bullies us for no reason.

“We may be losers but at least we have friends!” Kyle replies, snarky.

“Yeah. This guy is such a jerk.” Gaiya whispers next to me.

Dazzle shouts: “Oi! We may be strange but we’re also awesome! And unlike you, we have *good* opinions.”

Harold’s head perks up. “Which one of you bozos said that?! I have amazing opinions!”

I startle. He heard her?

He stares in our direction for another moment. “Who are all of you? ***What*** are all of you?”

My friends look at him, confused. Internally, I’m panicking. We’re they real this whole time? How does he see them?!

“We’re dragons!” Ollie calls. “Not that we care about you. Jerk.”

Dazzle glares at him. “Cooler than you, that’s what.”

Harely stares at him, Ears back, the snake that’s attached to him hissing. “That’s none of your business, buddy.”

“….what is going on?” Jane asks, completely befuddled.

“Your loser of a friend is surrounded by *freaks* that’s what!”

“Hey, we are not freaks…” Gaiya whispers, sounding disheartened.

“Don’t listen to him Gaiya, he’s just a jerk and an idiot.” I whisper back to her, holding her hand for a moment.

A pause. “Gabby? Is there something you’re not telling us?”

As Kyle speaks, my other friends chase Harold away. I have a feeling he won’t bother us for a while.

“…. I thought they were imaginary.” That’s the only thing I say at first. Jane prompts me to elaborate.

“I have..apparently not-so-imaginary friends. I don’t know how, but Harold just saw them. And heard them.”

“Really? Wow!” Kyle exclaims.

I whip my head up to look at him. “You believe me? You don’t think I’m nuts?”

Jane spoke this time, amusement in her voice. “I mean, we all saw what just happened, I think the evidence is there.”

“I wish you could see them…”

“Well, tell us about them!” Kyle pipes up.

“Alright! So there’s the dragon siblings, Dazzling, Harley and Gaiya….”

Maybe they would see them one day. Maybe they wouldn’t. Who knows. All I know is that *all* of them are my friends, real or ‘imaginary.’

[pwarkluv]

❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js

park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words 

WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(

SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!

whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes. 

they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. 

but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went. 

jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.

the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.

they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).

see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.

but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.

people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside. 

❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞

love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least. 

jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.

and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.

he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.

if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit. 

he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life. 

now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.

and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways. 

he just wanted to be loved. 

jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood. 

jisung wanted that, craved that. 

but most importantly, the boy wanted love.

❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

everything hurt. 

his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.

jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs. 

he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.

-

wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home. 

now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in. 

the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.

your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind. 

-

jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself. 

if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option. 

grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.

“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.

“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty. 

but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.

“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard. 

“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.

the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.

“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.

“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do. 

jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him. 

“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.

-

the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.

jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.

you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there.  what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.

it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up. 

the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.

jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on. 

❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞

the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.

if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind. 

“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing. 

“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window. 

jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room. 

❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.

“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.

“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention. 

isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along. 

[ray-ray-writings]

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DreamSMP

Dream

Dance with Me- Y/N and Clay have a sweet moment early in the morning. 

Sweet as Cyanide-The whole server thinks that Y/N is being forced to stand by Dream’s side, but they couldn’t be more wrong. They all believe they’re just a sweet innocent creature, but many times people forget that sweet things can be poisonous.  

Visiting Hemlock- (Part Two of Sweet of Cyanide) Y/N is finally able to visit Dream in prison.

Tightrope- Y/N and Dream have been together for what feels like forever. But when Dream says that he cares about nothing anymore, Y/N takes a moment to evaluate the tightrope walk they call their relationship.

Teacher Teacher- Just a bunch of self indulgent teacher!dream au stuff :)

Sapnap

Goodnight Kisses- The night after a date with Sapnap ends well

Stormy Nights- Sapnap takes care of their s/o that is scared of storms.

Punz 

Pretty Boy-  Punz takes Y/N on a date to a new biome he found while working. Y/N’s supposed to be looking around at the pretty scenery but they can’t seem to take their eyes off their lover.

BadBoyHalo

Oh Baby-After missing their period, Y/N begins to suspect there may be something else going on in their uterus.

Oh Boy-  How Darryl and Y/N tell their families, friends, and fans that they’re expecting.

Wilbur Soot 

Just For You- After a long day, Wilbur show’s you something special he made just for you (dreamsmp au)

Deep Trouble- Y/N’s never been good with deep water seeing as they can’t swim. But when her friends want to go to the beach, they can’t deny them their request. Trouble ensues as Y/N doesn’t tell their boyfriend of their inability to swim.

Chat’s a Snitch- Wilbur is streaming his reactions to different covers of his song when his chat informs him his s/o is currently singing his most recent release. He of course joins their stream to bully them. 

Stormy Nights-Wilbur takes care of their s/o that is scared of storms.

Fundy

Stormy Nights-  Fundy takes care of their s/o that is scared of storms.

Song for you-  Fundy makes something special for their best friend using his knowledge of redstone and Y/N.

Character!Schlatt

All JSchlatt imagines are about the character in the Dreamsmp or they are platonic! I will not write romance for the actual CC Schlatt!

Not Your Fault- Y/N has to clear their mind after the results of the election come in. (dreamsmp)

Quackity

Missing you- Y/N gets tired of missing their best friend (dreamsmp)

Character!Technoblade

All Techno imagines are about the character Technoblade in the Dreamsmp or they are platoniclly written with the SBI Au. I will not write romance for the actual CC Techno!! 

Gift of Friendship- After Techno gives Y/N some PVP lessons, Y/N is at a loss of how to repay him. Y/N comes up with an idea but is unsure of whether or not the resident Blood God with like it. (dreamsmp au)

Stolen Goods- Techno hides something of Y/N’s. Which is fine because he’s their brother. But what happens when someone else tries something similar?  (dreamsmp au)

A Hairy Situation - When Wilbur and Tommy leave on an adventure, Techno and Y/N are left alone together. Y/N “helps” Techno in his potato farm and offers to braid his hair. Tensions rise as more and more time passes. (dreamsmp au)

A Dedicated Pig-(Part One of the Dedicated series) Y/N finally meets the one that everyone has been walking on eggshells over. (dreamsmp au)

Better Than a Dedicated Chicken (Part Two in the Dedicated series)-Y/N gets to see Techno again thanks to the upcoming festival in Manberg. (dreamsmp au)

Dedicated to You- (Part Three in the Dedicated Series)Techno can’t help but get a little jealous as he and Y/N visit L’Manberg and run into old friends. It’s up to Y/N to remind him who they are dedicated to. 

A Dedicated and Domesticated Pig- (Part Four in the Dedication Series) Everything comes full circle when Y/N and their family travel to L’Manberg for the annual festival.  

Butchered Plans-Y/N finds out about the Butcher Army and attempts to put a stop to their plan (dreamsmp au)

Best Seat in the House- Y/N comes home from a long day of chopping wood and just wants to sit down and warm up. (dreamsmp)

No Worries- Y/N’s been missing for almost a week and the one person that should be worried about them most isn’t worried at all, which upsets some people. (dreamsmp)

Protect You-  Y/N tries to warn their boyfriend about the Butcher Army. The prideful man that he ignores their attempts of getting him to flee. By the time he realizes they were right, it’s too late. (dreamsmp)

Wither or Not- Techno attempts to explain to his partner just why he betrayed L’Manberg. (dreamsmp)

Fool Me Twice-  Y/N is left with only one option after Techno destroys their home and their trust. (dreamsmp)

Catch Me If I Fall- What was supposed to be a simple mining trip goes horribly wrong when Y/N doesn’t pay attention to their surroundings. (dreamsmp)

Seeing Red-  When Y/N gets kidnapped by the Butcher Army to lure their boyfriend to L’Manberg, Technoblade sees red and is willing to do anything to get them back… Anything. (Dreamsmp)

Calm During the Storm-  Unexpected weather strikes leaving Ranboo stranded out in the open. Techno sees him and goes to him and attempts to calm him down. (Dreamsmp. Not an x reader)

Totem Troubles-Gathering materials was supposed to be easy. It wasn’t supposed to end in an almost cannon death. (Dreamsmp)

The Next Step-  Techno has a serious conversation with his father about his lover, Y/N and their future plans. (Dreamsmp)

Warming Up- Philza and Techno find something in the snow that definitely shouldn’t be there and take it back to Techno’s house to warm up (Dreamsmp)

Okay, Bet- Y/N and Dream make a bet for half a stack of golden apples. (Dreamsmp) 

The Blade-Y/N is forced to face their biggest fear when it quite literally comes knocking at their front door. (Dreamsmp)

Prison Break- Techno frees you from your wrongful prison sentence. 

A Part of the Collection- Y/N goes missing for a while... everyone is shocked at where they find them 

Prison Break-  Techno frees you from your wrongful prison sentence.

Periods suck. Here’s some content about how Techno would act on your period.

Tommyinnit

Besties-  What it would be like to be best friends with Tommy and Tubbo

Bring Him Home- Tommy’s big sister visits him in exile. 

Tubbo

3am conversations- Tubbo appears on Y/n’s doorstep at 3am. (dreamsmp au)

Lean on Me- Y/N forces their way into Tubbo’s home after Tommy’s exile. (dreamsmp au)

Besties- What it would be like to be best friends with Tommy and Tubbo

Awesamdude

Faking Happy- The bottle Y/N has been filling with their emotions finally tips over and overflows. (dreamsmp au)

Family Matters-  After spending a lot of time with Tommy, Y/N and Sam decide its time to expand their own family

Family Fatality- Y/N believed it was a bad idea from the beginning. Call it parental instincts. But unfortunately no one believed them… until it was too late.

Honey Barbecue- Tommy plays wingman for the two people on the server that genuinely care for him

SBI AU

Actually Pretty Funny-Y/N opens up to her big brother as to why she has been avoiding her other brother and his friend.

Crash- Y/N finally crashes after ignoring their needs for too long. (SBI AU)

Defending Family-  When Y/N hears the school bully talking shit about their family… Well it’s no surprise when that bully gets hit. (SBI AU)

Crossed Lines-Dream kidnaps Y/N to get some leverage on their brothers. Lucky for him, it’s not too hard as they don’t really know how to defend themselves. Unlucky for him, their brothers are extremely overprotective and will stop at nothing to make sure that their sibling is safe. 

Auntie Flow-  When Y/N isn’t up by their usual time, Dadza goes in to check on them. He soon realizes the problem and enlists in their brother’s help to make Auntie Flow’s visit go a little smoother.

Stream Stresses-When Y/N makes fun of their brother, chat jumps to his defense by saying some not so nice things about Y/N. The mean things cause Y/N to shut down their stream with tears in their eyes, worrying their father, Philza.

Birthday Bullies-  Y/N is being bullied at school. They’re able to keep the secret from her father and brothers for a while. But every cat gets out of the bag eventually.  

Ghost of You- Three cannon lives. Some argue it’s too many, some argue it’s not enough. But once Y/N loses all theirs, everyone can agree that there’s never enough

Forget Me Not-  The garden. That’s where it all began with Y/N and the Minecraft family… It’s unfortunate that’s where it all ended as well.

Period Piece-  Y/N starts their period at the worst time possible, the one time that Philza isn’t home… but their three brother’s are.

Momma Mia-  Y/N has been Philza’s best friend for the longest time. Being Philza’s friend also comes with being there for Philza’s sons and sometimes them being there for her.

Whole SMP

Full of Surprises-  Y/N is the server’s sweetheart. They’re innocent and couldn’t hurt a fly… at least that’s what everyone thinks. It isn’t until someone catches them working out does the SMP finally see just how badass this person can be.

[lecinea]

Hello! Just want to say I think your recent jc+wwx post was very well written and there is a lot there I agree with even as someone whose opinion on jc fluctuates (sometimes I love him and sometimes I am... very frustrated haha).

I guess my one question is on something I've seen from a lot of people not just yourself, and it's that jc doesn't know why wwx saved the wens. Now maybe I'm taking it too literally, but even without knowing about the golden core transfer, jc does know that wq and wn risked their lives to save him and wwx and got his parents remains back. He also sees firsthand that the people wwx rescued are "the old, weak, women and children" in his own words, and when they discuss it in the cave wwx straight up brings up what they owe wq and wn. Obviously jc disagrees with going so far to help them, but I don't see how he could be confused about why wwx did it? Esp when he's known wwx almost all his life, it can't have been that much of a surprise. (I'm asking you bc I think you would be able to articulate an explanation v well and it's something that has genuinely confused me when I've seen ppl say it so often, but ofc you are in no way obligated to answer! Hope you have a lovely day 😘)

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed my post even if your opinion is slightly different from mine 😀.

As for your question. I do think rationally, Jiang Cheng knows why Wei Wuxian chose to help the Wen. I mean when the other sect leaders question him on why Wei Wuxian freed the prisoners of war, he tells them that they owe Wen Ning and Wen Qing, that they helped them out during the Sunshot campaign. Of course the other sects do not accept this answer and basically tell him to call WWX to order. But it shows that even before he visits the Burial Mounds, JC clearly knows what up, at least partly. There is of course a whole other layer to WWX's debt to WN and WQ that JC is not aware of.

I think the problem is more emotional than logical. At this time JC is working himself to the bone trying to rebuilt Yunmeng Jiang. In that same chapter it says that JC is exhausted from working late every day. Add intersectional politics to that, and he's barely holding his head above water. He could really use the help of his right hand man. But that man is not there, so he has to do it alone. Then, when he goes to visit WWX at the Burial Mounds, it becomes clear that WWX is planning to live with the Wens long term. Except JC knows that the rest of to cultivation world won't just let them be. Choosing the side of the Wen remnants is basically choosing a death sentence.

"Wei Wuxian! Don't you understand? When you're standing on their side, you're the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your differs from theirs, you've lost your mind, you've ignored morality, you've walked the crooked path. You think you can be immune to all these condemnations as you stay outside of the world and do whatever you want? No such precedent has happened before!"

JC basically predicts exactly what will happen here. And WWX decides to stay anyway. The question that I think haunts JC is not 'why is WWX helping the Wens?' I think it's 'why is WWX not helping me?' or maybe even more precise 'what is wrong with me that WWX picks certain doom above staying with me?'

Now I don't think these feelings would've festered as much if Jiang Yanli never died. Because at the second visit, when Yanli shows off her wedding dress, JC seems a lot more relaxed and accepting. He and WWX banter and tease, there is a feeling of optimism. If their little plan of showing how harmless WWX was at Jin Ling's one month celebration had worked, maybe everything would've been alright.

But that didn't happen. Everything went to shit. And JC was left with the broken pieces of his life, agonizing over what went wrong.

I hope I've answered your question!

[nishisun]

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me