#also sorry to the person who sent this I got it an age ago and didn’t see it until now

[kc5rings]

you've probably been told this before but the machinist job in ffxiv has an ability that summons an automaton queen that fights with a pile bunker

because it is a lvl 80 ability there is no lore reason for her existence other than "the player character made it up"

Oh I’m very familiar with the Automaton Queen and got super excited when they introduced it and I saw a pilebunker. Machinist was my first max level class and I still have a lot of affection for it, even if other classes kits actually work better for me

Also thanks for giving me an excuse to show off my girl Jagged’s gun nun glam, which I’m still very proud of

May The Fury have mercy

Because I will not.

[peterparkersnose]

Give In

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: suicidal thoughts, pining possibly one sided, ANGST (just a large angst piece, i wanted some joel angst so I made it), description of depression, emotional dependency on a person, arguing, fluff sprinkled in, implied age gap not specified, reference to pregnancy, mentions of substance and alcohol abuse, joel is lowkey toxic and uses reader

a/n hi loves I wrote this after the first episode aired, so if anything contradicts anything in the future in this story that is why. also, i didnt know how to end it so im sorry if the ending is a bit choppy. happy last of us sunday!

summary Y/N has feelings for Joel that she can’t control anymore

Part 2 here

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 8 min 33 seconds

The harsh chill of the autumn afternoon swept your hair off your shoulders. The ration line was as long as ever, but seemed to be moving quickly. A stray dog barked as others murmured on the street. Staring down at your boots, you bit at your chapped lips.

“You’ve been avoiding me,”

His voice sent chills up your spine. He was behind you, must have slipped in line without the other person noticing. Of course now was the time he decided to confront you. And he wasn’t wrong.

Straightening your back, you turn towards him.

“Have I?” you asked, raising your eyebrows slightly. The line moved forward and so did you.

“Tess said you weren’t feeling well.”

She was partially right. It was the blatant lie you were telling the very few who were close to you. You were physically fine.

“I’m fine, Joel.” you said promptly, turning a cold shoulder to the older man.

“If you need any meds or anything…” he began. You knew Joel had anything you needed. Quite literally.

“Next!” The FEDRA soldier called, motioning for you to get in the final line. You gave Joel a tight lipped smile before disappearing in the crowd.

Back at your sad excuse for an apartment, you poked your fork at your stale meal. You tried to think about todays’s job but the thought of Joel Miller consumed you.

How his hands felt on your skin, how soft his hair could be, how much he respected you in private. Flashbacks of previous nights where he had snuck over and stayed with you burned in your brain.

You never thought the hookup would turn in to feelings. Especially in this world. Feelings you were sure he wouldn’t reciprocate. Joel wasn’t a very emotionally available man. And he had Tess- rumors of them being together had been going on for years. Sure, they deny it. But you see the way he looks at her sometimes. His eyes burn with the lust you want from him, but there staring at her.

Tess was friendly and all, you got along quite well with her in fact. Jobs worked with Tess usually went better than others. But the knowledge that she goes home to him every night almost ate you alive. You felt used every time you would watch her turn the alleyway to their apartment.

Roommates my ass.

It had been over a month since the last time you saw Joel.

He was right, you were avoiding him. Taking the jobs you knew he wouldn’t dare go by such as childcare. Taking a different route home to avoid any run ins. Leaving your lights off and sitting in the dark to possibly deter him away from your place. All your little queues worked.

And the pain grew day by day.

You layed in your mattress with your face buried in your pillow. It stopped smelling like him weeks ago, but you liked to pretend it still did.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

Pills weren’t numbing enough. Alcohol wasn’t as fun as it used to be. The constant state of depression in this damned district was enough to make you want to end it.

But seeing him across the alleyway talking to a group of people or in the line for rations was enough to keep that tiny spark lit inside of you.

There wasn’t much else to look forward to in this world besides others. Living the same day your whole life is miserable without your spark of joy in it.

Sleep was close, you could feel it. Your thin blankets were just cutting it for the night. As the dreams began to dance in your head, you were awoken by a quiet knock on your door.

“For fucks sake,” you groaned, flipping over in bed. You ignored the knocks. They became more persistent.

The old doorknob then dropped to the floor, startling you awake. You didn’t even have to guess who it was. The door slowly creaked open as you heard him curse to himself.

“I’ll fix it later,” he sighed, picking it off your floor and placing it on your countertop. He pushed one of your folding chairs next to your table up against the door to keep it sturdy.

“So your just breaking into apartments now?” you snapped, sitting up right in bed. “I needed to see you.” he protested.

“I never knew Joel Miller to need anything.”

He sighed and rested against your countertop. “I need to know,”

“Know what?” you asked, wrapping a blanket around your exposed shoulders. A tank top wasn’t ideal to sleep in, in these conditions.

“What’s wrong.” he said bluntly. “I said there’s nothing wrong. What the hell are you doing walking around freely at night?” you yelled, realizing the time was way past midnight. The sounds of soldiers a few floors down outside your apartment began to yell. How did he move past them?

“You sick?” he asked in a more hushed tone, walking towards you. “Respiratory? Head pain? Joints? You pregnant?” he somewhat joked, looking over you in bed.

“Shut up.” you said coldly. “Can you please just go?”

You knew Joel wasn’t a good listener. “What is it?” he said sternly, sitting down next to your body in bed. He grabbed your wrist ever so slightly. Your pulse was shaking in his grasp.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

You looked at the other side of your apartment, out the window. Rain had began to slowly plague the window. Ignoring Joel’s touch, you watched as the few drops raced to the bottom of the window.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” Joel sighed, not letting go of you.

“Stop, please. J-just stop talking to me.” you said, lying through your teeth. He could sense the pain hiding behind those eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he protested.

“Look at me.”

You turned to face him. His eyes were locked on yours. A genuine worried look was on his face. He looked softer, nothing like you had ever seen before.

It was almost as if someone asked you if you were okay when you were very obviously not. Silent tears rolled down your face as you tried to catch your breathe.

The man who you couldn’t love was staring in to your soul. There was no way you ever could love him. He was too mean, too stern, too old, too angry for you. The two of you were polar opposites. But as the saying goes, ‘opposites attract’.

Joel was unsure on what to do. Tess never cried. Hell, you never cried. He racked his brain for something, just something to soothe you.

He offered out a hand. Against your better judgement you took it. Connecting his other hand to your cheek, he tried to wipe away the streak of tears silently leaving your eyes. He held you tightly in your bed, stroking your hair as your head quickly made contact with the crook of his neck.

“I wish I didn’t have these feelings,” you cried into his embrace. Joel was confused on what you were getting at, but he ignored it. He tried to shush you in a soothing way.

“No, please. I wish I didn’t have these feelings… but I do.”

Joel froze. “What?” he asked, holding you in place.

You pulled back and looked at him. It felt like the first time over again. “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel a thing.” you hiccupped.

“I…” Joel sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and letting a breathe of air go.

“Say it.” you demanded.

The silence in the room was deafening.

“I can’t.” Joel said quickly. He looked down at his knees on your mattress.

“I think you should go.” you sighed, laying back on your side and facing the opposite wall.

He listened. Finally, Joel caught a hint. The sound of him walking away made you long for him more than ever. But it was good. The feeling of him leaving, knowing you were right. Joel Miller wasn’t a man who could love. At least not anymore.

Your sudden pride stopped when you heard his boots thud against the floor. Then the all familiar zip of his jeans followed by the hit of him placing them on your wooden chair next to your bed.

He rested a hand on your thigh as he peeled up the blanket that was stuck to your legs. Slowly, he moved down next to you in the tiny space you were leaving him.

“You don’t listen.” you huffed, still not giving him enough space on the bed.

“When do I ever?” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist.

Fuck it. You gave in.

You allowed his arm to move closer to the underside of your breasts. Scooting over in bed, you gave him more space for his legs to entwine with you. His boxer’s material rubbed against the back of your thigh. It smelt like him; Wet grass and expired generic soap scent had never smelt better.

Sleep kindly greeted you once you felt his breathing slow. Trying to match his, you fell into the deep sleep you had been yearning for, for what seemed like weeks.

-

The absence in the morning was startling.

You struggled to move, hoping that the previous night was just a horrifying dream. A sigh escaped from your lips when you saw his boots sitting against the wall where he placed them last night.

The clanking sound of tools made you turn. On the other side of your small studio apartment, there he sat at your doorframe attempting to fix your door handle.

The overcast sky stayed, but you could tell it was early morning by the chatter outside.

“Shit!” Joel hissed, grabbing his finger in pain. “Damn fucking…”

He looked up and noticed you watching him.

“You alright?” you asked, watching him in amusement as he attempted to fix your door.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, sucking the tip of his finger. “Haven’t fixed a door in a good twenty years.” he muttered, wiping off the excess blood on his already dirtied jeans.

“Go back to bed, It’s still early.” he suggested, going through the tiny tool kit he had given you as a previous gift.

“This is more entertaining than sleep,” you chuckled, placing your feet on the cold ground and getting out of bed. “You want any breakfast? I don’t know if I have anything good here but…”

“Nah. Tess’l be expecting me.”

The sheer thought of Tess waiting at their home for him was enough to ruin the whole night you had before.

Joel looked up to you after your lack of a response. He noticed the demeanor change in your face. “Everything okay?” he asked, turning back to the doorknob he was almost finished fixing.

“You seem to go sour every time I mention Tess.”

“I wonder why,” you muttered under your breathe, attempting to open a tuna can for breakfast. You tried not to dry heave as the scent of the old fish met your nose. Tuna was never a favorite meal, especially for breakfast. But, it’s all you had.

Joel pretended like he didn’t hear you, but he heard you loud and clear. “We have a run to do today. You understand that, right?”

A bitter ‘mhm’ came from your lips as you shook the prepackaged coffee in your hand before ripping off the seal.

Joel sighed and placed the screw driver down dramatically. Joel’s knees cracked as he got up from his position. “You always gotta fucking act jealous. Don’t you? Ruinin’ a nice morning.”

“Jealous?” you said, raising your voice.

“What the hell do you even want from me?” you scorned, on the brink of tears. He could see through you like glass. You hated to admit it, but he knew you like the back of his hand.

Joel wished he could shout out the answer, but his ego kept it in.

You froze with your back turned to him and set down the brittle coffee mug. “Your always leaving me to go to her…”

“Because we’re business partners, Y/N. Don’t you get it? Don’t you hate livin’ the same damn day over and over again? It’s why I come to see you.”

“Stop,” you whispered, now face to face with him. “Stop yelling. Please, it’s too fucking early to get into that shit.”

“Really? Tell me you don’t loose your mind living the same day, same drama for years!” he yelled. “Always you being jealous. Don’t you ever get sick of it?”

Anger consumed you. Proof that the two of you would never work. He’s just a bitter old man.

“You know I would give anything to leave this damn QZ! To live a normal life, not fucking be here.” you yelled, with a finger now pointed at his face. You were avoiding the original accusation. Jealousy.

“Tell me.” you said, with a quieter but angrier tone. “Am I really just your fuck toy?”

Joel stepped back for a moment, stunned at what you just said. Guilt seemed to wrack his nerves as the realization hit him.

You were in love with him.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, approaching you with a sorrowful more soft look. “What else am I supposed to think? You come here, use me, and leave and go back to her.”

The feeling of letting go of all that emotion felt healing. The sudden aftermath of realizing what you just had accused him of made you feel somewhat guilty.

“No,” he sighed, grabbing your hand. “That- no. Absolutely not Y/N.”

His other hand reached for your chin, and brought your face up to his gaze. You could feel his heat on your skin.

“Understand…” he began to say. “Understand what?” you whispered back. A sly smile came to his lips.

“Give in,” he whispered, dropping your hand and wrapping his around your waist.

You melted into his grasp as he kissed you. Joel hadn’t kissed anyone in years. The hesitation from him only brought out the dominance in you.

As the two of you mutually pulled away, you wanted nothing more as to be back where you were just seconds ago.

“Understand that it’s hard.” he said, still holding you close. “I…”

“I know.” you said, cutting off his words.

You were an anxious, sorrowful over-thinker and he was the bitter, closed off introvert.

“I’ll be back,” he said, with a slighter more chipper tone. “Tonight. We have to get this damn car battery and…”

“Stay safe,”

“I promise.” Joel said. He really did not want to leave you. The thought of the two of you spending today lazily in bed was very tempting.

“But please believe me Y/N when I say, you are and never have been just a ‘fuck toy’.”

He squeezed your hand once more and then dropped it. Silence filled the apartment after he left.

The thought of how you tasted haunted Joel Miller’s mind the whole day.

Part 2

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25

[solannn]

i dunno if reqs are still open, if sent at wrong time I'm so so sorry </3 (or if the fandom/anime I'm trying to request is not in ur list) I wanna request headcannons or drabbles aboutt 15!Chuuya (or Dazai, you can choose>_<) x w/ 15-16(?) y/o reader that has the same personality as Kyouko Sakura or maybe Mami Tomoe from puella magi? (Or the same ability) once again if this doesn't make sense i'm deeply sorry— puella magi and bsd has my HEART at the moment p-p

‘‘𝐏𝐔𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈’’

ᥫ᭡ 𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐈, ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

⤷ Chuuya, Dazai with someone who’s like mami tomoe & kyouko sakura from puella magi. headcanon, gn reader, ooc for chuuya and non-consistency. Hints of male ( ? )

DAZAI OSAMU ;

( mami tomoe )

• i think, Dazai would be slightly intrigued by you, the first time he met you. You were assigned for a mission for the first, you seemed more experienced in mission than he does.

• It’s a long time since you’ve been paired with someone around your age, you felt lonely after doing mission alone. Mori didn’t want you feel so isolated since you’re so most experimented teen in pm, so after Soukoku’s first mission together he pairs you with Dazai.

• Dazai founded you rather, interesting. You were enough stong to fight on your own, and had a sense of personal justice to help anyone. He never really saw your ability during the mission, he wants to know what’s your ability about.

• he would maybe stubborn around, trying to find what’s special about you, how long you’ve been here, and how did you met Mori. His question was also intrusive to your liking, however you didn’t mind answering It.

"What’s your ability ?" Dazai asked, while playing with his Game console. His curiousity was slowly peaking out after their missions. [Name] rather a calm person, who doesn’t say about themselves much, unless you ask him. The brown haired male groaned as he lost his game, so he slightly looks up gaining back his attention on [Name]. ".., "I can summon percussion-lock rifled muskets, which are weapons or are used as a melee weapon. " You stated, as eyes met Dazai’s. The male in front of him lower his brows faintly. "that’s seems cool if you know how to use it." He admitted, his mouth forming a pout expecting a cooler ability. But, maybe you had cool way to use It. "Silly question, how long have you been here ?" He inquired, suddenly his pouty expression changed to serious one. "Four years ago." You revealed, you have been here, the longest time you could remember. His mouth gapped apart, this long ? "Before, you came here, i felt lonely. Nobody at my age was here to do mission with me." You admitted, your friendless state when you were younger. "ohhh" is the only sound that came out of Dazai’s throat.

Osamu now, appreciate you congratulations !!

CHUUYA NAKAHARA ;

( kyouko sakura )

• Chuuya noticed you, when you were walking around. His eyes always caught yours wherever you are here in pm or outside for a mission.

• Usually, he never saw you inside the pm. So that is why, he doesn’t know much about you. He heard some 'rumors' about you, some were about you fighting with the other members, as if you didn’t careless about them or just you being selfish. Some person said, that he shouldn’t go near you.

• His choose was to confront you, to see if you were as bad as they thought, and won’t hesitate to retaliate if you became aggressive towards him. When he saw you, you were chilling eating [fav food] in peace.

"So, you’re [Name], right ?" He asked you, his step became heavy to your ears, the heels of his boots tapped on the ground as he got closer, he was getting closer to you. "yeah ? Why are you even asking this?" You buntly spoke, eating the bite of your food. You expression was rather calm, you didn’t show any sigh of selfishness or anything, you just enjoyed your time. His brows narrowed faintly, those stupid rumors seems false when he saw you. "Is this about those person, i fight with ? Isn’t it ?" You inquired, looking at him. "Hah, you don’t seems like a bad person huh ?" A grin appears on the corner of his mouth. "ugh, whatever you say." A sweat drop flowed down your forehead, putting you chins on you palm. "I’m not cruel," You spoke, rolling you eyes. "But i’m not nice neither." You sarcastically stated. "Huh ?" A confuse sound came out of Chuuya’s mouth. He had to admitted, both of them resembled each other without meaning to. You were hot-headed, so he is. He’s the type of person would never get along with his partner, Dazai. And You don’t get along with anoyone, but both of you are still reasonable person to talk with. Might a future sign of them getting along, and tries to trust each other, having their sweet spot with each other and them trying to giving each other a will of life and humanity and its not their fault 🙏⁉️

A/N ; HELPP IDK WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO W CHUUYA HEKP…

[friendly-neighborhood-boricua]

[3] Career Fair

Summary: James holds a parents' career fair, to which Liam's mom is invited.

Notes: Marauders modern elementary school AU, kindergarten teacher!James Potter x nurse!reader, mom!reader x son!OC (Liam), inspired by this post by @ravishinglavishingluvr. Hah, remember last time where I said I was updating semi-regularly? Ok well I actually mean it now, I promise lmao. Not edited but I'll do that tomorrow. Also kinda short, sorry

A/N (1/8/2024): okok I came back here to change the names of some kids bc I forgot that this is a marauders au so I can use the names of like real kids from harry potter smhhhhh please don't get mad at me this is my first time writing an au

Previous Part: Seeing Each Other Around Town Next Part: Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift Series Masterlist here

James ended up pushing the career fair back a couple weeks because there was a conflict in the schedule

(not because you emailed him back saying you wouldn’t be able to come the day he had originally planned it)

(and definitely not because he asked you to send him your shift schedule so he could make sure you could come, and you were working overtime for two weeks straight)

(James was pretty sure your work schedule violated some labor laws or something, but he was in no place to question you)

Liam is soooo excited for the couple days leading up to the career fair

Because his mom is cool af and he can’t wait to show everybody just how badass you are

(You had Liam pretty young, so you’re totally the parent who all the kids think is the coolest person alive and who all the kids’ older siblings have crushes on and who all the kids’ parents judge because of your age and assume you’re irresponsible, but we don’t have to talk about that)

James is also excited because he hasn’t had a real conversation with you in a couple weeks and he really just wants to talk to you

Poor Sirius and Remus have had to deal with him swooning and fawning and over you and also helping him frantically prepare for this career fair because “guys it HAS to be perfect”

But at long last, the day finally arrives

James scheduled the career fair in the afternoon so he could threaten children with canceling the event if they misbehave, so both he and his kids are bouncing off the walls in excitement all morning

He eats lunch in the library with Remus and Sirius, and they both spend the entire time hyping him up

(It’s mostly Sirius tho)

“You’ve got this, Prongs—be smooth—be nice—you’re a nice bloke, that’s not gonna be a problem for you—”

And eventually, it’s time

The parents that are participating in the fair arrive ten minutes before James has to get the kids from the cafeteria so he can explain to them what’s going to happen (because god knows the majority didn’t read the goddamn email he sent)

You’re a little late (profusely apologizing again, and it reminds James of the first time you met back at parent-teacher conferences) but you read the email the night before (and take another piece of James’ heart hostage while you’re at it) so it’s no worries

James’ summary instructions take a shorter amount of time than expected, so the ten or so parents all get to talking

And ofc James takes this opportunity to talk to you

You’d emailed back and forth about the fair but you hadn’t really talked in person since that night in the grocery store, and James was starting to feel like he’d die if he went another day without talking to you

So he’s plotting his route to you across the classroom when he notices you’ve secluded yourself a few steps away from the majority of the parents’ conversation

James is also horrified to discover you look slightly uncomfortable

Like you’re somewhere you don’t belong

And of course James can’t have that

So he sidles up next to you and asks how your day is going, if your boss gave you a hard time getting off work early, how the chocolate chip cookie dough from a month and a half ago was—anything he can think of, really

By the time James has to go get the kids from the cafeteria, you’re smiling and laughing, and James desperately wants to keep you like that all the time

He shakes himself out of his daydreamy state on the way to the cafeteria because this is your JOB, James, you can’t be distracted by your favorite student’s mom. His sweet, kind, whip-smart, dazzling … mom …

(In the back of his mind, James knows he’s screwed, he just has no idea what to do about it)

(CERTAINLY not act on it, because that would be a complete conflict of interest and totally unprofessional of him)

(But it’s just a crush)

(It’s fine)

(Right?)

ANYWAY

Liam’s on the lookout for you as soon as he steps through the door, and he beams the sweetest little chubby-cheeked smile when he finds you and points you out to his friends

You wink playfully at him, and he and his friends giggle excitedly as they sit in their seats

If James is being completely honest with himself, the career fair was a little disappointing

The majority of the parents’ presentations were kinda lame

And they didn’t make their jobs understandable or appealing for the kids

Dean's mom (she’s regional manager of a popular grocery store chain) complained to the class about her boss pretty much the whole time

Luna’s father, a rather eccentric professor at the local university, just spewed a bunch of nonsense technical jargon about the soul or the meaning of life or something that not even the adults in the room could understand

And Draco's dad (he owns the local insurance company and is just obscenely wealthy, which explains quite a bit of his son's attitude) straight up said he hated his job, so there’s that

But then there was your presentation

James is sure he’s in love by now because you made being a nurse sound so amazing

You talked about how you’re in charge of taking care of people when they’re sick or hurt, how it’s nice to be able to help people, how even when your job gets hard, you feel like you’ve made a positive impact at the end of the day

Once the parents left, James asked the kids who’s presentation they liked the most

And ofc every kid in that room agreed that yours was the best

And a solid 75% said they wanted to be a nurse lmao and he was just so proud

Proud of his kids and also you because your presentation was just so fucking good

As James is taking the kids out to the buses, Liam thanks him for inviting you to the career fair

Ofc James says it was no problem and that you’re really cool, so it was a pleasure to have you there

And Liam kinda gives James this … look … and is like “… yeah, my mom is cool …”

And James gets this horrible feeling that Liam somehow knows

Knows he’s completely smitten for Liam’s mom

Fallen head over heels

Practically in love at this point (though James has a nasty habit of throwing that word around willy-nilly)

(Liam kinda freaks James out a bit sometimes lmao)

Next Part: Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift

[asteroidzzzn]

timeless

summary: no matter the decade, you and ellie seem to always find each other

word count: 4.3k

a/n: this ones for all my swifties that also have timeless (the best vault track btw) on repeat

a bustling crowd carried you downtown, where you roamed aimlessly. you tossed a quick few cents to a paperboy in exchange for the daily paper, Evening Standard, 1945.

Now, it is 50 miles to Warshaw, where the—

an unexpected object slammed against your forehead, while you were distracted reading. you stumbled away from the pole, your gaze drawn to the flickering lights of a nearby shop. a quaint little place, seemingly cozy.

something in your head said stop, so you walked in.

the place was a cluttered mess full of memories from countless lives. a cardboard box with a sign read photos, 25 cents each.

your hand reached in, revealing a photo of a woman in a wedding dress, smile bright while her husband next to her gazed at her as if she hung the stars. newlyweds stood proudly in front of their new house.

aged writing on the bottom of the photo stated that the couple, betty and james, bought their first house together in 1934, just a decade prior to present day.

although you had never seen the two before, you could tell one thing about them. their love was a rare kind, the love you were lucky to find just once in your life, for a fleeting second.

you saw yourself and ellie in that photo, in some alternate universe. it was a perfect world, where you could find a farmhouse on a hill, raise animals together, and no one would bat an eye at the fact you were two women in love.

you recalled ten minutes ago, reading the paper which regarded the war, praying to whatever god out there that she would come home safe.

with all the care in the world, you returned the photo to the counter, keeping your head low as the bell rung on your way out.

when you returned to your home, you quickly found your way to your room, lighting a candle and sinking down to the floor. your emotions overtook you, letting out a soft sob.

ellie was one of the few people you cared about. during the harsh conditions of the war, you found comfort with each other. you had a connection that you shared with no other.

the day she got sent across the world, you were devastated. at first, you visited her bakery, left abandoned with dust and broken glass. she assured you she would keep safe, simply serving soldiers their meals, but she could not console you.

your hand found its way under the bed, pulling out a shoebox. it contained letters from the past year.

tears trickled down your cheeks as you gripped the envelopes, reminders of her love and wellbeing.

a sudden warmth washed over you. a calm sense of sureness. you lingered on the beautiful memory of meeting ellie, that one winter day in 1944.

"oh dear, i'm so sorry, ma'am," you had apologized and brushed off the mysterious woman's apron.

"it-it's no worry," she told you, offering a smile.

if it were any other day, you would have figured out something equally as polite to say and be on your way.

but something seemed different today.

if it was any other person, you would have bowed your head in apology once more, and continued your trip to the market.

but you simply could never forget about this woman, let alone leave her for just a couple of tomatoes your mother had beckoned you to retrieve.

the woman adjusted her chef hat, pushing a strand of hair from her face, revealing her eyes, into which you shamelessly admired for probably a moment too long.

a soft chuckle fell from your lips as she struggled to straighten out the hat.

"who do you cook for?" you prompted, curious to know more about her.

"oh, i actually own my own bakery, down on seventh street." she lifted the paper bag in her hand. "i just went to pick up ingredients."

your eyes widened, "that's incredible, i'll have to go there someday!"

she bit her lip, seemingly lost in thought. "i'm heading there right now. would you like to come?"

nodding enthusiastically, you linked your arm with hers, glancing to the side to see the faintest blush dash across her freckled cheeks.

"lead the way," you told her. and she did.

you wiped your tears on the sheets hanging off the side of your bed, you dug through the box to find the most recent envelope you hadn't opened yet.

you read about her past week, a smile creeping up on your face as you saw the way she signed of her name.

yours, for all time, ellie

and you believed it. your love truly would be timeless.

"this is taking forever," you groaned out to yourself, ripping tape of and sealing yet another box shut. it was a gorgeous sunny day during the summer of 1981. however, you were stuck in a dark, hot garage, while all your friends spent the day at the beach.

the door creaked loudly, welcoming a person into the room. you did not look up from the box, assuming the shadow in the corner of your eye was your father, telling you to hurry up.

your family was moving to a new town for his work, and since your parents were extremely busy all day, you were burdened with the task of packing the entire garage.

a familiar, unexpected voice spoke out.

"need some help?" the smile was evident through her words, causing you to turn around swiftly.

"ellie? what are you doing here? how'd you get in? did my parents see—"

she hushed your worries with a kiss, pulling you behind a large shelf, shielding the two of you from the door leading into the house.

"came in through the window in the kitchen," she whispered on your lips, pulling a giggle out of you. "had to see you today," she whispered again, except with a hint of sadness, now.

you pulled yourself closer to her, eyes closed, memorizing the way her hands slipped under your flannel, holding you just as tight. a silent goodbye.

she felt your frame quiver against her and quickly moved her hold from your waist to your face, wiping any evidence of sorrow with her thumbs as you sniffled.

"sorry it's stupid that i'm crying it's just i'll...i'll miss you. a lot," you explained.

"it's okay...we'll be okay," she attempted. her words were as unsure as yours. "i'll write to you, and call you, and i'll visit when your parents are out of town," she promised.

you nodded, stepping away from her and toward the piles upon piles of unboxed items. she came up next to you, sorting through old pictures.

"what's this one?" she asked, holding up a photo, which you judged was very old from the way it had faded brown and had multiple tears along the edges.

in the photo, dated 1958, were your mother and father, when they were your age. they held hands, walking down your sidewalk. her in a dress, and him in a suit, just before their senior prom.

you chuckled, "those are my parents, but i've never seen that one before," grabbing the photo from her to study it, you recalled the night at prom you met ellie.

"we're gonna be late!" your friend, dina, had called upstairs where you were slipping on your shoes. it was the first school dance you had ever been to, making you extremely nervous.

"coming!" you shouted in return.

when you arrived at her mothers' car, you lifted up your dress to step inside. ms. woodward made small conversation with you, which dina suddenly interrupted with a sharp gasp.

"oh my god, i just remembered i heard leon ross asked you to prom! where is he? are you meeting him there?"

"oh, um, i'm not going with him," you replied with hesitance.

dina's eyebrows raised, "why not? he's super hot, nice, and he's the best player on the football team."

you shrugged, turning your head to gaze out the window.

"not my type."

you shortly arrived at school, and stepped into the gym, dina's arm linked with yours so you wouldn't lose each other in the bustling crowd.

the two of you met up with some friends and made your way to the center where everyone danced. at some point, dina nudged you to inform you she was heading to the bathroom. when she returned, she held up a blunt, wiggling her eyebrows.

you made your way outside, the cool air a refreshing contrast from the uncomfortable humidity of the windowless gym. you found a secluded space, yet there was a person leading against a wall who hadn't noticed you.

"who's that?" you asked dina, pointing at the person in a suit who was by themself.

"oh, that's ellie williams. she's the one that's gay, remember?"

"oh, yeah. okay."

you passed the blunt back and forth, chatting with dina. it was a beautiful and quiet night where you laid on your back, giggling and pointing out shapes strung out by the stars.

eventually, dina sighed and stood, noticing how people were exiting the gym in large groups.

"i should probably head home now, it's getting late."

you nodded, glancing at ellie, who was still alone, now sitting and gazing at the night sky.

"you need a ride?"

you glanced one more time. you couldn't let yourself go home without saying something.

"no, i'm fine, my dad should be here soon."

she hugged you, saying goodbye a final time before disappearing behind a building towards the parking lot.

you took a deep breath and headed towards ellie, having a spur of confidence from the weed.

you sat beside her. her eyes were on you, and time was standing still, waiting for one of you to speak up.

"hey," she said. hushed. confused. "do i know you?"

suddenly, this was a very very bad idea.

"oh, uh, no. you don't. i just wanted to say hi. you don't have any of your friends sitting with you," you pointed out, tearing your gaze away from her face to watch the groups of people leaving. soon, it would be just the two of you.

she scoffed at that, bringing her hands into her lap to spin her rings.

"don't have many of those."

"oh," you didn't know what to say. you assumed it was because she was outed as a lesbian just a few months ago. you heard the rumors, the words she was called, and saw the stares she received in the hallway.

you felt horrible for her, but figured she wouldn't want to talk about it anymore.

"i like your rings," you gestured to them. a small, kind compliment, but it didn't get the reaction you were hoping for.

"why are you here?" she lifted her gaze. was staring into you, searching for intention.

"my friend dina kinda forced me to go, so she—"

"no, why are you sitting with me right now? i don't need your sympathy. i know you know, everyone does."

your lips fell apart. you contemplated. it was absolutely ridiculous to tell someone you just met something to personal about yourself, but you felt the need to let her know. it would have helped you to know you have a friend that accepted you. someone who was just like you.

"i'm...i like girls too," a quiet whisper, only for her ears. "oh also, my names y/n," you added with a nervous chuckle. it was freeing to finally be able to tell someone, who you somehow knew would keep your secret safe.

she blinked. "oh."

you nodded, lips pursed. "you're the only one who knows. i can't imagine how it would be to have everyone at school know. especially if i didn't want them to. i just...i think you're brave, honestly, ellie. it's cool you can wear a suit to a dance. i wish i could do that," you rambled, watching as her lips twitched up into a shy smile.

"how'd you know my name?" was her only response.

the dark masked your blush, but the nervousness was still evident in your voice. "dina told me."

she hummed. "well, nice to meet you."

"yeah, you too."

it was a precious, innocent, memory. the start of something unexpected and beautiful, that swept you up like a sudden whirlwind.

in the deepest parts of your mind, there were some days you wished you had never went up to her. the thought that one day you would have to go your separate ways haunted you.

with one final look at the photograph of your parents, young and joyful, you placed it down. upon a shelf, was a photo of them on their wedding day, wearing the same giddy smiles as the day of prom.

one day, you wished, that could be you. finding ellie despite how long you would be apart on separate sides of the country, never letting your love die.

you glanced behind you at the girl who snuck past your parents to help you pack instead of doing anything else. she wanted to spend time with you.

that was all it took. you knew you would find each other again someday. against all odds. and everything would be okay.

you spent your afternoon in the castle's library, the one and only place you could find solitude. where no responsibilities weighed down on your shoulders. it was a peaceful, quiet moment until the doors swung open.

"darling? are you in here?" your father, the king, boomed out, his voice bouncing off the countless towering shelves.

you slammed the book shut, hastily slipping it into its rightful place and standing up, straightening out your dress as you stepped out from your comfortable place on the floor.

"yes, father?" you clasped your hands behind your back, forcing your posture up straight.

he rubbed his eyebrows with his thumb and pointer, as if he knew he could find you in the library off in your own world.

"you cannot continue to do this, dear. you will have responsibilities now."

you tilted your head with furrowed eyebrows, prompting him to explain.

he sent away his two loyal guards to have a private conversation with you.

"you know i would not have agreed to this if it did not depend on the fate of our kingdom," he began.

"father? what do you mean?"

he refused to look you in the eyes as he spoke. "you are to be wed to prince hill, the soon to be king of aragon. they threatened war, and this is the only solution to protect our nation and keep peace.

your eyes welled up with tears. you were left speechless. you swallowed your pride, nodding and wordlessly retreating to your room.

the days were dwindling away to when you would have to leave your home. just the night before you were destined to leave, your father knocked on the door to your room, where you had spent the majority of your days the past week.

you couldn't find any words for him besides politely asking him to let you get a good night's sleep.

your mouth remained sealed in the carriage, passing by endless terrains. you arrived at night, forming excuses so you wouldn't have to see the king. just not yet, i am not ready, you thought.

you slept in a massive room, tossing and turning on your new large mattress, yet you had no one to share it with.

the next day, you slipped past the guards into town. later that day, you figured you would tell them you merely wanted to greet the townspeople you would soon be ruling.

in common clothes, you perfectly blended in. the lack of attention on your presence was new. you could have gotten used to it.

you strolled past shops, observing and taking in the surroundings. the rush of breaking the rules, being where you weren't meant to be, caused you to roam the streets of the kingdom daily, until one morning, guards were stationed outside your room.

"oh, good morning," you greeted him. you couldn't see his face, covered by his helmet, and he stood so perfectly still, you wondered for a moment if he were just a statue.

the knight removed his—her helmet.

fear was not a feeling you experienced often. this was slightly different from fear, however. it was something you could never describe, even if you knew each word in the dictionary.

she was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen. she couldn't have been much older than you, but you could tell her adventures had aged her. you imagined what she had been through in her life, wondering if maybe, one day, she would tell you all about it.

her green eyes shimmered for a fleeting moment, when the sun and the reflection of her helmet met and agreed to place a shine on her.

"good morning, princess. i am knight williams. i have been placed at your service for the next month up to the wedding, and to prevent you from exiting the castle during the day."

"i—but—what? why?" your words failed you, tumbling out in an unorganized mess.

knight williams cleared her throat. "i am to accompany you to breakfast shortly to meet with the prince. i will wait outside until you are ready, princess lowe."

you grimaced, "you do not need to address me so formally. just y/n will do."

her mouth opened to reply, but you swiftly shut the door to prevent a response. when you emerged from your room, the knight gestured for you to follow her.

"i assume you have recently been too busy sneaking away to explore the castle, so allow me to lead the way, princess."

you chuckled at her remark. "that is true, however, i did tell you there is no need to call me princess."

she let out an exasperated sigh, "if that is your wish, y/n."

"and what is your name?" you queried, as you made your way down a winding set of stairs.

her jaw tensed. "it would not be professional to be on a first name basis with each other."

you hummed, finding excitement in challenging her, "it would not be fun if you acted so uptight all the time. it would be nice to have a friend."

"i am your personal guard, not a friend."

discouraged, you remained quiet during the remaining walk to the dining hall. knight williams settled into the seat beside you, while the prince sat in front of you.

he was a handsome man, but there was something that just wasn't there. you remembered when you were a child, when your mother told you love stories. she told you what love felt like. it made you nervous, giddy, and excited, among many other wonderful things.

it was quite a dreadful realization that you did not love the man sitting in front of you, who you would be wed to within the next month.

as the prince bragged of his accomplishments, you smiled and nodded when appropriate. your eyes often found knight williams.

stoic and mysterious, you wanted her facade of being forbearing to crumble away.

through the following days, you tested her patience. you had absolutely no interest in the prince, dreading the wedding day. but even if it was for just a moment, simply the presence knight williams eased your nerves.

you could tell her wall was slipping away, she was slowly letting you in, becoming more comfortable around you. you told her stories of your fathers' battles, your kingdom's drama, and how you wished you were not royalty at all.

"why is that?" she prompted.

you squeezed the pillow in your lap. a ball was scheduled later that night, but opposed to tending to your duties as a soon to be queen, you were laying on your couch with knight williams, chatting on a rainy day.

"sometimes...i wish i were you. you are so brave and strong, and you have been out in the world. been in danger. just once in my life, i want to protect myself, and have a story of an adventure to tell."

she remained silent.

"i suppose that is quite ignorant though. i wish to go through suffering and pain, just to get a taste of it."

she cleared her throat. "i understand. to be honest, i wish that i were you, sometimes. along with everyone in the kingdom," her chuckle following her words was a sound you could have gotten drunk on every night of your life.

your lips lifted into a smile, which she returned, after a moment of hesitance. time slowed, pausing so all there was, and all you hoped would be, was you and knight williams sitting on that couch on that rainy day.

her gaze fell, her shoulders tensing, slicing the frozen moment and returning to reality.

"you should prepare for the ball."

you swallowed, "yes, i should."

it was a horrible night. you shook hands with, curtsied to, and danced with men and women of importance for hours on end.

"sir, i apologize deeply, but i must head outside for a quick moment of fresh air," you bowed without waiting for response from a king of a kingdom you did not care about, and wove your way through the crowd until you pushed the gates to the garden open.

your hand traced the petals of pink flowers on a bush as you strolled through the garden.

the grass behind you rustled.

"it is just me, y/n," knight williams spoke.

you continued to wander in the garden, eventually coming upon a clearing where you fell to the ground, settling on your back.

"you may want to find somewhere else to sit, your dress will be stained—"

"i do not care. come lay with me. please."

the knight removed her helmet. then followed each piece of armor, leaving her in a crinkled white top and brown trousers.

"the stars are beautiful tonight," you told her. "i have seen drawings of constellations in my books, yet i have never been able to recognize them in the sky."

in a swift moment, knight williams took hold of your hand with herrs, pointing up to the sky in a pattern, which helped you to see a constellation which resembled a scorpion.

"wow..." you breathed. "show me more."

the two of you talked of astronomy, which you both had an interest in since you were children.

you giggled and pointed up at the sky, "that one looks like the prince. the star over there is his abnormally large chin jutting out."

you felt accomplished when knight williams let out a loud laugh. you wanted to know what she thought about the prince. did she see what you did? that something was missing from him, that you couldn't quite place?

"have you ever been in love?"

she nearly choked at your words.

"i—i have. why do you wonder?"

"i want to know what it is like. i think i am not in love with prince hills."

"i think you are not either," she whispered. her body adjusted to face yours. you mirrored her action.

"so? what is love like?" you repeated.

"it is...well...you want to spend all your time with that person. and they might make your stomach hurt. and make you very nervous. you may even think they are perfect."

her gaze did not falter, stuck on your curious eyes.

she chewed on her bottom lip. "do you feel that for the prince?"

"i do not," you replied, a chill rushing over your body. it could have been the autumn chill, yet you believed it was something different.

"i would rather spend all my time with you, knight william—"

"my name is ellie."

your heart raced. "and it is you, ellie, who makes me nervous. and i think you are as close to perfect a human could—"

your words died on your tongue, as she inched closer to you, the only noise being the grass which moved under her and your heavy breathing.

when her lips pressed against yours, you suddenly knew what love was. in hidden corridors, nights by the fireplace, away from the sight of prince hills, your love for ellie grew.

on the fateful day when stood in a white gown in a chapel, telling the prince you vowed to marry him, ellie sat with her head down.

you blinked a single tear from your eye.

in the castle, you made a simple excuse that you were exhausted to avoid spending the night with your husband. ellie stood outside your bedroom door, unsure whether or not to enter.

as soon as she heard your sobs, the door was flung open.

"y/n..." she whispered your name, stripping herself of her armor to pull you into her chest.

"can we run away from it all, ellie? i want to leave it all behind."

she held your face, grounding you with her sturdy touch.

"you have a kingdom to rule. i will always be here, though. i will never leave your side."

you nodded. "i know. i will always be yours."

the two of you drifted off to sleep, comforted by promises, trusting, because you just knew.

you blinked awake when the bright sun trickled through your blinds, the book on your chest unfinished. your wife beside you stirred awake.

"mornin'," she rasped, then gestured to the book. "whatcha got there?"

you had found the book with cobwebs and dust, a fairytale of a young couple destined to never be together by fate.

"it's an old romance book. hundreds of years ago they fell in love, despite all odds."

ellie smiled, "just like we did."

you scoffed, playfully hitting her arm. "you're such a sap."

a/n: omg im clinically insane

taglist: @skylerwhitwyo @ximtiredx @ohitsjordynn @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyels @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86 @ucannotcompare @lunarpretty @cassharass @uberyellowsheep @444na0m1

[sunshine-theseus]

I’ve Got You | Charlie Grant x reader

Word Count: 2.4k Summary: Having someone like Charlie by your side makes pregnancy a whole lot easier. i don't think this is my best i'm sorry Warnings: none? Request for - @charligrantismygirlfriend

Being friends with Katrina basically guaranteed being friends with Kyra and Charlie.

I met Kat in 2022, toward the end of her time at Brisbane, as she was beginning to get back in with the Matildas. I found myself crying in the baby aisle of a rather desolate IGA in Clayfield when she crouched next to me and asked me if I was alright. I didn’t look up as I struggled to calm my sobbing to explain my situation.

“He- he left me. I’m 21 and pregnant without a partner. How am I supposed to have a baby without a partner?” I stared up at her with red-rimmed eyes and tears that stream down my cheeks. It’s then that I notice she has a young baby resting on her hip, eyes gently closed as her head rests on the shoulder of this woman.

“Do… do you have anyone that will help?” I vigorously shook my head, then told her how I’d been living alone for 4 years, my parents running off to whatever dingy town they decided would bring them the most drugs without police caring.

“A- and he kicked me out. Oh fuck I don’t have anywhere to live what the fuck am I doing?!” my eyes frantically flickered around the store as my situation settled in. There was no way I could survive this.

“I know this is a weird offer but… you could live with me? I have a spare bedroom and rent is getting kind of wild. And Harper would love you.” She looked down at the girl who clung to her with such adoration.

“I’m Katrina.” She reached out her hand and I took it.

“Y/n” I smiled gently at her.

“I mean it. You living with me. I had Harper 8 months ago and I have bunch of pregnancy books and clothes and all that stuff.”

“W- what about your partner? Won’t he mind?”

“She lives in Sweden, so probably not.” Katrina then told me her story of wanting to be a mum and going through IVF, and how Harper brought her back to football.

~~~~~

About 2 months later, I was flying over to Sweden, following shortly after Kat and Harper left. I attended pretty much every game Kat played, taking care of Harper when her mum couldn’t make it, and researching a lot.

I was lucky my job was remote, so I was able to move around with Kat without an issue. My boss had sent a small gift basket of baby books and clothes when I told her I would be living overseas for 6 or so months. She also gave me less work, insisting that I meet people and do fun things instead of worrying about how much I had to do. She was probably the person who pushed me the most to meet someone new.

It was 2 weeks after I moved in with Kat, and met Clara, that I met Charlotte and Kyra. Despite Kyra’s club being 5 – 6 hours away, she’d somehow managed to make it down for a few days on a short break between matches. We all went for coffee and brunch, me limiting my food to hashbrowns and toast because most other things made me nauseas.

Charlie and Kyra asked how Kat and I met and why I was living with them. I gave them a rather short version of the day in the IGA, and Charlie reached over and put an empathetic hand on my shoulder. I give a tight-lipped smile in return.

It doesn’t take long for me to grow close to the two younger players Kat had also taken under her wing. Some days they had off, I’d take Harper off Kat and Clara’s hands and take her somewhere with Charlie, like the park or a pool. Other days we’d all go together and when Kyra could, she’d come down and spend a couple days.

It’s nice to have friends my age to hang out and talk with, Katrina having been the only person I had for the most part of 3 or so months.

Both girls insisted I need to meet the other Matildas, but I struggled to find time when they have camp, or I’m too nauseas to travel.

This creates a new problem when Kat and Clara both decide to head back to Brisbane in mid-November now that the Swedish season is done, so Kat can play with the Roar again during the A-League season.

My bump is relatively big, and most forms of travel make me sick, so I know I won’t really be able to travel with them back home, and in a few more weeks I won’t be allowed to fly. So I’m stuck by myself again. Until Charlie makes a rather compelling offer.

They don’t have any matches in the up-coming international break, so she offers me to live with her for the time being so I’m not as alone. The one fault to present itself, is she only has 1 bed. I insist I sleep on the couch, but she waves the idea away as I hold my stomach, trying to relieve some pressure.

“Oh! Can I try something? It might help give you some relief for a moment. I saw it on TikTok.” I simply nod my head; I’ll try anything at this point.

I’m slightly shocked when she circled around behind me and reached around my front, but I can’t question anything before she placed her hands beneath my belly and lifts. I groan in relief and my hand rolls back onto her shoulder.

“Holy shit that feels so nice.” She holds my belly for a minute or so before gently removing her hands and pressing a kiss to my cheek.

I flush red as she goes back to making lunch. I’ve found myself doing that a lot around her recently. Any nice gesture or any touch and I’m blushing and butterflies flutter around my stomach. Sometimes I wonder if the same thing happens to her.

Later in the day, I'm desperate to take a nap, so I slowly lay down on Charlie’s couch. It takes her all of 5 seconds to realise and start pulling me up, dragging me to her bedroom.

“If you’re so adamant that I don’t sleep on the couch, and you definitely shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch, we can share the bed. It’s big enough for us both.” I don’t have the energy to refuse as I fall back against the pillows, eyes fluttering shut as Charlie plays with my hair.

~~~~~

I spend the next 2 months spending time with Charlie and Kyra, who also decided not to travel home until their Cup of Nations games in February. Kyra stays on a blow-up mattress she lugged with her from Stockholm while Charlie and I continue to share the bed.

I’m a week away from my due date when I feel something wet drip down my legs. Kyra and Charlie freak out, but I let them know my contractions haven’t started. And I nearly think that maybe it was somehow a false alarm.

Nearly a day later, I feel severe pressure on my pelvis. I groan in pain and clutch my stomach as I move positions, assuming it’s just a Braxton Hicks contraction. The pain doesn’t subside for a minute or so, and Kyra doesn’t take notice of my groans from the other room, on a call with Charlie who had forgotten the grocery list and now had to have Kyra recite it to her so she could rewrite it on her phone.

I don’t think much of the contraction until I feel another one 20 minutes later, and another 20 minutes after that. They progressively get closer together and I call out to Kyra to help me up from the bed before calling for an ambulance, and I frantically scroll my contacts for Charlie’s number. It takes 10 minutes for her keys to rattle against the door and she rushes in, followed closely by the paramedics.

~~~~~

I suffer through 13 hours of labour before I’m holding a small bundle in my arms, Charlie holding another, as Kyra takes photos to send Kat later.

“I can’t believe that fucking piece of shit left you, but at least he gave you two little cuties.” Charlie passes the baby off to Kyra and turns to me.

“I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without you, Kat and Kyra.”

“I’m so proud of you.” I don’t stop to think before I lean over and gently place my lips on hers, her strawberry chapstick is all I can taste.

I see a flash go off in the corner of my eye and whip my head to look at Kyra, who giggles sheepishly before looking back down at the baby in her arms.

“I know this is probably rushed and wild, but do you want to move in with me? Officially? We can find a bigger place to house the girls. But I’ve been holding in my feelings for you for like 6 months now. I promise to take care and love you and the twins with my whole heart.” A tear falls down my cheek as I nod my head, and she kisses me again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Oh! Mini’s calling! She doesn’t know! What do I do? Do I answer?” Kyra interrupts us, frantically looking for whether she should answer or not.

“Facetime her.” Kyra hands the baby back to Charlie and quickly facetimes Katrina, who doesn’t take a moment to answer.

“None of you have answered any of my calls for the past 14 hours what the fuck is going on? Why does it look like you’re in a hospital” is the first thing she says as Kyra’s phone faces away from me.

“Well… we have a surprise.” The phone slowly pans over to Charlie and I and we both grin.

“WHAT THE FUCK? You had the baby?!”

“Babies” Charlie corrects her.

“Twins?!”

“Kat, I’d like you to meet Ashley Jade and Maysilee Hazel Gorry.” Everyone’s heads snap to look at me as I smile.

“What, what do you mean ‘Gorry’?”

“You literally changed my life, took me in when I had no one, introduced me to my best friend… and girlfriend,” I pause and give Charlie a look, she smiles in return.

“I also changed my name like a month ago, to Y/n Gorry. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind what the fuck!?” I glance back at Katrina; tears prick at her eyes and my own mirror her’s.

“I’m going to fucking fly over and meet those little cuties.”

“Well, I was thinking… if they’re healthy enough to travel, we’d fly over with Kyra and Charlie for your Cup of Nations matches in February? And I’d meet the team.” Another wave of shock ripples through out the room

“Fuck yes!”

We talk to Kat for a while after that. Harper tumbles into screen and coos at the babies but soon looses interest, and Clara comes in to congratulate me. We eventually have to say goodbye.

“Is it ok if I head back to the apartment? I think if I fall asleep on these chairs, I’ll never be able to play again.” Kyra dramatically complains, but I just smile and nod, sending her on her way.

“I know I already said it, but I am so proud of you and I love you so much. You could’ve given up on these babies, but you pushed through.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you Char, these little guys are going to adore their mumma so much.”

“Of course they will, you’re so amazing.”

“I mean you…”

“R-really?”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side.” She kisses me passionately, well as passionately as you can kiss someone who’s lying in a hospital bed while you’re both holding a baby.

~~~~~

“Are you excited to see your aunties?” Ashley and Maysilee’s giggles fill the car ass Charlie tickles their feet.

“Yay yay yay!” they both chant as we help them out of the car and onto their feet.

They’re running down the corridor as soon as the elevator doors part open, giggling and screaming without knowing where they’re supposed to be going. They only stop when they run into two pairs of legs, and they sheepishly look up as they go to apologise, only to be picked up.

“Aunty MinMin! Aunty Anna!” Maysilee screams as Alanna gives her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, Ashley much quieter as she returns Kat’s hug.

“We’ll look after them while you settle in. I missed my favourite twins.” Kat says as she also gives Maysilee a gentle kiss on the forehead.

Charlie and I take each other’s hand as we walk to our room, kissing our daughters goodbye and thanking the pair of teammates. When we reach the room, I waste no time in fall on the bed, Charlie following swiftly behind. I lean into her as she wraps her arms around me before I kiss her.

We spend another hour or so cuddling and kissing, basking in the childless quiet. I admire Charlie like I do every moment we get together, her crystal blue eyes, the shape of her nose, her dull pink lips, the small scar above her right eyebrow. And I wonder the same thing I always do; how did I get so lucky.

“I can’t believe we brought our kids to the Olympics. Who does that? We should have left them with someone back in London.” I joke before kissing her.

“I’d take my babies anywhere; I hate being apart from you all.” Charlie pouts and kisses me again, and again.

~~~~~

Charlie brings Ashley, Maysilee and I to all the events and training sessions Tony allows her to, the girls always with one of their Mumma’s jerseys on or something that showcases a blatant support for the Matildas.

After a particularly difficult game, the team silently heads back to their rooms, Charlie curling up under the blanket as I get the twins ready for bed. When they notice she hasn’t come to kiss them goodnight, they clamber up onto the bed and start to tickle and poke her. She doesn’t respond and they seem to understand she’s upset.

“What’s wrong mumma?”

“Mumma’s just sad and hurt about today babies.” Charlie whispers through shaky breath.

I watch as they calm down and instead wrap their arms around her and kiss her gently, like she kisses them when they’re hurt. I slowly slide in behind Ashley, wrapping my arm around all 3 of them.

“We’ve got you baby.” I give them all a kiss and we fall asleep like that, the sun slowly allowing the blanket of stars to fill the sky.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my partners I'm a system?

💚🐻

To preface this, I don't use Tumblr and I'm using my partner's account, so I would rather ask this anonymously. Forgive any non-tumblr-isms 😅.

This happened a while ago, but to be honest I can't let this go. I feel so horrible about it despite being reassured and I figured Tumblr, who has a lot of systems/people with DID/OSDD, would be able to give me an unbiased (as much as I can give an unbiased account, anyway) answer.

I, (24M), am a system with one headmate, P, (??). (Neither of us are sure how old he is, since it seems to change on the day). I don't want to get into exactly how I got him, but I believe the term for what we are is "traumagenic"? Sorry, again, I'm not really familiar with everything.

Anyway, I've had him since I was 8, and he's been... well, a real pain in the ass, to be frank. I understand now that he's a defender by nature and was trying to protect us, but when you get expelled from middle school for several physical attacks and almost get sent to juvie you start to resent the guy a bit. He's a bit like a sleeping bear, except if the sleeping bear had one eye open and killed you before you could hurt him.

Back when I got out of my abuser's house and went no contact at age 20, I moved in with my current partners, Bonfire (24M) and Greenhouse (25NB) (names changed for privacy, obviously.) At the time I didn't know them, but they were looking for another roommate and I desperately needed somewhere to live.

So I moved in with just the clothes on my back and my wallet (bad move, I know, but I didn't have anything anyway). I didn't care to interact with them all that much, not wanting P to get defensive and attack them for no reason, but they just kept pushing and eventually I relented and hung out with them some.

"Some" turned to "often," and then "often" turned into "sleeping-in-their-bed-and-sharing-our-clothes." At that point I was too far into it and embarrassed to admit I'd been hiding a whole other person from them in my mind. I wasn't sure if they'd even like me after, what with P's history of violence.

...so I never told them. I did my best to forget about anything that ever happened and tried to just enjoy the future I'd always wanted for myself. Bonfire and Greenhouse are lovely people and I was finally, maybe just a little happy. I'd never been a happy person and I was content to bask in it for as long as I was able.

This, of course, backfired immensely. P and I didn't have the best relationship at the time, with both of us wanting to do very extreme things to get away from the other. He wanted to kick me out and be by himself in my body, and I wanted to kill myself to be rid of him. We've since reconciled and made strides in accepting ourself for who we are- it hasn't been easy by any means, but that isn't the point.

I recognize now that he was afraid of being hurt again, not wanting to get out of that survival mindset in case Greenhouse and Bonfire turned out to be super-secret mega abusers taking advantage of our trust, but I also know what he did after was wrong.

He got physical with Bonfire, screaming at him and threatening to kill him if he got any closer. I don't have any memory of this happening, so some details may be incorrect, and I apologize for that. Bonfire, not knowing that P was not, in fact, me, (coupled with the fact that he's a fucking idiot (meant with affection)), he got closer and tried to talk me (him) down. P punched him in the face and broke his nose, after which he ran out of the house and left me to "wake up" a few miles away curled up under a tree.

P left me a note a few days later that said he didn't mean to break his (Bonfire's) nose, but that he was lucky he hadn't done worse. This, in P speak, is probably the most sincere apology I could get at the time.

To try and keep this as short as possible, I'll summarize what happened next. I told Bonfire and Greenhouse about P because at that point the cat was basically out of the bag. They said they'd wished I'd told them sooner, and that they were a little uncomfortable being in the same house as "the lean, mean, stabbing machine" (- Bonfire) but that they were willing to help me manage him if I promised to tell them everything I knew about how he worked.

I did, and it's been years since then, and now P and I are, as stated before, closer than ever. I recently asked my partners whether or not they were still upset with me for not telling them, and they just said that they weren't entitled to my medical history and trauma (which, yeah, but he did break Bonfire's nose) and that they didn't care because, "hey, we basically got a free dog out of it" (- Bonfire), and "we made a promise to love you, including all the less-than-savory parts." (- Greenhouse).

Sweet, yes, but I think I might be TA because, um, P LITERALLY BROKE BONFIRE'S NOSE AND THREATENED TO KILL HIM? AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF I HAD TOLD THEM?

TL;DR: I didn't tell my partners about my headmate that's prone to violence and he did violence on them and I feel bad.

AITA?

(P says hi, by the way, and he also wants me to tell you that he isn't like this anymore and much prefers soft blankets and eating fruit to breaking his family's noses.)

What are these acronyms?

[lex9923]

Tw// SA

This will be my one and only official statement on this situation, because frankly I’m done with all of this mental hopscotch happening.

I am a sexual assault victim. I was the same age as Caiti is now when it happened, and I was cornered with his hands down my pants touching my vagina and up my shirt touching my boobs, while I tried to get away and make it stop. I still to this day don’t know who my attacker was, but it will follow me for the rest of my life. It’s been five years since then, and my story has not changed once. Not ever. I hadn’t told people for a couple years cause I thought since I didn’t know who my attacker was, I wouldn’t be believed. As well as the fact that I came forward about a sexual harassment I faced at a job and was met with “well, boys will be boys”. Through it all, I am here, and I survived.

Watching the reaction to this situation from both of the main parties involved, those who weren’t there, those who were, and the fans had sent me spiraling. I’ve spent the past two weeks reliving that trauma from five years ago cause I thought I misinterpreted my assault as something else. I had not, and never have. It’s been incredibly invalidating watching the alleged “victim” change the story multiple times, make fake texts, omit important information, all while not even listening to the person she accused of a criminally offensive act.

Caiti is absolutely allowed to feel uncomfortable and regret what happened after the fact, but it is not, and will not ever be assault-unless George actually did touch her boobs, and then that will be a different discussion, but with her credibility disappearing, I’ll only believe it if he admits it himself. I’m trying to extend grace to her being young, sexually inexperienced, and caught up in online culture, but it’s hard the longer this gets dragged out. There are things you do when approaching a situation like this:

1. You absolutely need to provide evidence and proof of your claims. You can’t prove something that never happened, but you can prove something that did. It’s why it’s innocent until proven guilty. Expecting people to blindly believe you is delusional at worst and ignorant at best.

2. You must absolutely have your story 100% correct and factual to how you perceived what happened, before bringing forth any accusations. Using purposefully charged language and then changing the story to match the one you accused is not it. Nor is changing your story yet again when people are catching on to the inconsistencies.

3. Allow the accused person to defend themself. You can’t expect people to listen to all of your claims-most of them blindly doing so-and then get upset when people wait for both sides to say their piece, especially when you present no evidence at your initial statement. Again, you have to prove guilt. If you can’t prove it, the accused are allowed to defend themself.

4. You are in no way obligated to accept apologies, but acknowledging one was made-multiple times in fact- is the bare minimum. Trying to change your story one last time to make it seem even worse than what you both agreed upon, and then hiding behind “I’m not going to address this anymore” is manipulative at worst and cowardly at best.

I hope Caiti gets therapy, cause it’s clear she’s been severely affected by something, though I’m not sure she even knows what it is. I also hope she learns from this, and next time utilizes the “direct message” function every single app has. This could have been a dm, and the way it spiraled has been a shitshow and her intentions are coming off less and less pure the more this gets dragged out. I’m so sorry she was uncomfortable, and regretful, but until she shows any proof whatsoever of any assault happening, it will never be. I hope she heals, and I hope she gets better friends cause they have all failed her.

For George, I’m sorry this got blown so out of proportion and no one even privately talked to him about any uncomfortability being felt. I’m sorry his friends are performative. I’m hopeful that he was made aware of things he wasn’t before, and will do better next time. He is not irredeemable, and I believe growth is possible (the difference in his two responses proves as such). I hope this isn’t the last we see of him or his content, and I hope he can heal from this as well.

To my fellow SA survivors, I’m so incredibly sorry that our trauma has been thrown around like this. Our hurt and pain do not deserve to be mocked in this way, and I wish it would’ve never even happened. You’re stronger than what happened, regardless of how shitty this situation has been for us. And as a 24 year old, I like to consider myself a big sister of sorts, so I love all of you. We got through it then, we’ll do it again.

Speaking woman to woman, I’m sorry this has been so messed up. This will make it harder for us to come forward in the future and that is indescribably frustrating. However, that does not take away from the pain and hurt we went through, and I hope if you do have the strength to come forward, you are believed.

I’m done with this whole situation. It should not have come to this point, and if you stayed this far, I greatly appreciate you reading this. One last time. Caiti, I’m sorry you were so uncomfortable. Get therapy, better friends, and take a break from the internet. George, I hope you learn from this situation, and I’m sorry you were made out to be a criminally offensive person before giving your side or anyone ever speaking to you.

I hope you both heal.

I hope sexual assault victims having to relive trauma, and are affected by this continue to heal.

I love you all.

Lex

[wolfjackle-creates]

Ghost!Robin Part 13

THE DINNER ENDS!!!!!! Dear god, I need to write something that has less than seven characters present in the currently-being-written scene. This segment will be a bit longer than most previous ones simply because I was so close to the end.

Story Summary: Danny was invited to dinner at Wayne Manor to meet Jazz's boyfriend and his family for the first time. He worked hard to make sure no ghost business would interrupt the evening. But when he arrived, all he could focus on was the ghost of the dead Robin that seemed to haunt Jason. Looks like he was breaking his promise.

First, Previous

Word Count: 1.9k

-----

“Look, I’ve faced both an evil future version of me and have had to deal with mind control.” He looked to Bruce and, serious now, said, “As soon as the Anti-Ecto Acts are repealed and the Guys in White disbanded, I will help you write those plans myself.”

Bruce gave a single nod. “Do you know what caused you to turn evil in the alternate time stream?”

Danny sighed and nodded. “Believe it or not, I cheated on a standardized exam.”

“Okay, what?” asked Tim, incredulous. “What sort of 2000s PSA life do you live? How did that lead you down the path to evil?”

Danny frowned. “I got caught, my teacher met with Jazz, my partners, and my parents at a local restaurant to discuss it. There was an explosion and the entire place blew up killing every single person I was close to. I was then sent to live with Vlad where things got worse.”

Duke let out a low whistle. “Damn. I think I’d go evil, too, under that pressure.”

Robin flew over to him and draped himself over Danny’s back, hugging him as tightly as he could. Jazz reached over and gripped his hand. He gave her a smile and squeezed back.

Bruce nodded. “But it sounds like a future that is unlikely to happen again.”

“Grandpa says the same thing. And since he’s the Ghost of Time, I try to believe him.”

Tim made a noise of agreement. “Be glad you have that assurance. I’ve an evil future self as well. He’s such an asshole.”

Danny forced a laugh, recognizing the attempt at levity. “I’m sure. How’d you get yours to go away?”

He shrugged. “The obvious way. Threatened to kill myself so I could never grow up into him.”

Dick spluttered from his spot next to Damian. “I’m sorry, you did what? Tim! How could you?”

Tim shrugged. “Better than having an evil, gun-using Batman running around.”

Bruce was now sitting with his head in his hands. The rest of the table also started yelling at Tim, the references and names making no sense to Danny who looked over to Jazz. She just shrugged at him.

Leaning over, he whispered in her ear, “At least your in-laws won’t be too freaked out when weird things happen around you.”

She laughed. “Yeah. Honestly, I’m glad this is how the evening ended. It means no more secrets between Jason and me.”

“Guys, enough!” shouted Tim. “Look, I’m fine. This happened ages ago. But I promise I’ll update my incident report so you can all snoop on it later. Now, if you’ve all forgotten, we have guests. And ones who can help us with our League troubles. Danny, you had questions about the Lazarus pits?”

“Yeah, uh, you said it can be used to heal people? How does that work?” To Jason, he added, “And how did you interact with it?”

“I was dunked in it,” said Jason with a shrug. “After I’d been revived. I wasn’t in my right mind and Damian’s mom thought it might help.”

Robin nodded and signed something.

Dick translated for the ghost. “Baby Jason says the pit tied him and Big Jason together, but also prevented them from actually combining into one person again.”

Danny looked between them. “You were submerged in a pool of bubbling ectoplasm? How the hell did that not kill you? That shouldn’t be possible for a human. I doubt it’d be good for a ghost!” No wonder his future brother-in-law was split in two. That was probably the best that could be expected.

Danny hadn’t even realized how hard he was projecting concern until Robin trilled back at him to calm him down. Danny took a deep breath and pulled in his aura. “Sorry, Robin. I do think I’d like to get you both in to see my doctor as soon as possible, though.”

Jazz cleared her throat. “We can discuss that at home.”

Bruce stared at him. “Do you think they can help Jason?”

Danny shrugged. “He knows the most about ghost-human hybrids of anyone. If anything can be done, he’ll know.”

“I will go with you,” Bruce said.

Danny immediately shook his head. “Nope. I won’t bring anyone from Earth into the Realms until the Anti-Ecto acts are repealed. And only Jason can invite people to his private medical check up.”

Steph pouted. “But Jason is from Earth. Sure, he’s got some weird thing going on, but why does he get to go exploring other dimensions?”

“Cause he’s dead. He belongs to the Infinite Realms just as much as he belongs to Earth. I’m not gonna block someone from accessing their home.”

“I’m not dead!” yelled Jason. “I’m alive.”

Danny winced. He’d have to talk to Jazz about that. Death wasn’t really a thing that could be recovered from. Not fully. But it wasn’t his place to tell Jason he was still dead if he wasn’t ready to hear that. Jazz or Frostbite could have that conversation. “Of course you’re alive. And Earth is your home, too. But you’ve got one in the Realms if you ever need or want it. Think of it like dual citizenship.”

“I don’t want it.”

Danny sighed. “Look, then the part of you that is manifesting as Robin has a place there and you two can’t be separated so you’re allowed to follow him. It’s the only way I’ll be able to get you in to see the best doctor to help you out.”

“Jason,” Jazz spoke gently and rested her hand on his forearm, “you’re still alive. Nothing about your situation has changed. You just have some more information and more help. Which is a good thing.”

Jason frowned and didn’t answer, choosing instead to glare at his dinner plate.

No one else spoke up until Alfred cleared his throat. “Well, I believe that we should wrap the conversation up here. We’ve all received quite a lot of information and will need some time to review it and consider our next steps.”

Danny nodded. “Yeah, I think— Wait, um, before we end this, would you have a sample of the Lazarus Water I could take to Frostbite?” At the confused looks he was given, he added, “The doctor I mentioned. I think it’d help him figure out how best to help Jason and Robin.”

Bruce exchanged looks Danny couldn’t interpret with Damian and Tim before speaking. “We’ll have to discuss it. Would we be able to give you our answer in two days? At the very least, we’d like to have the report from your friend first.”

Danny shrugged. “Sure. The sooner the better, though. I’ll call Tucker on the way to Jazz and Jason’s. We’ll put something together for you tonight. I’m not sure exactly how long it’ll take, though. Depends on how much sleep Tuck’s running on.”

Bruce merely nodded.

Dick laughed and got to his feet. “Well, it’s been an absolute pleasure getting to know you. Welcome to the craziness of the Wayne family. It sounds like Jazz and you will fit right in. Let me walk you out.”

His words seemed to be a signal to the rest of the family. Most of whom also rushed over to try and insist on walking them out.

Until Jason shouted, “Enough! We don’t need a crowd to follow us to Jazz’s car. You can say goodbye from here just as easily.”

Dick pouted but acquiesced. Only after pulling Jason into a hug, though. Jason forced Dick to let him go only for Robin to rush in and take his place to Dick’s delight. After separating, they signed something to each other that had Jason blushing and scowling.

And then Dick moved on to hug Jazz, then Danny. “Come back anytime,” he told Danny. “Whether or not those two are with you. B meant it when he said you would have a room here.”

But then Steph was pushing Dick to the side to give Danny a hug as well. “What’s your phone number? I so want whatever blackmail you get on Jason. And I’ll share some of what I have.”

Danny laughed, but did agree to exchange numbers before the Duke was in front of him.

“Dude, you have to come by more often. It’s so annoying being the only meta around here.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Danny promised.

When Tim came over, he insisted on adding both Danny and Jazz to some of the family group chats. “If you give me your sister’s number, I’ll add her in, too.”

Jazz shook her head. “We’ll have to confirm she wants to be added in first. And ask her if she’d like an introduction to Superboy.”

“His name’s Kon. Kon-El. I’ll message him tonight, too. I’m sure he’d love to meet her.”

“Dani will say yes,” said Danny, “but she doesn’t always reply right away. We’ll let you know as soon as we hear from her.”

Then Tim was being pushed aside by Barbara who wanted to make sure he knew how to send them the information about ghosts and the Realms. And Cass was waving goodbye.

Bruce was the last of the group to approach them. “Remember, if you ever need a place to stay or want to lay low, you can come here any time. Even if you just want a warm meal. Your sister as well.”

“Thanks, Bruce,” said Jazz. “We do really appreciate that. You don’t have to offer it.”

“But I want to. Jason…” he trailed off before trying again. “I would like it if you kept me informed with any updates to your condition.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Right, because you want to know how much of a liability I am.”

If anything, Bruce’s face became more closed off at those words. “That’s not… Hn.”

Robin rolled his eyes, somehow visible despite his mask, and flew over to hug Bruce around the waist. Danny couldn’t make sense of the expression Bruce wore as he looked down at the ghost and though his arms twitched, he didn’t return the hug.

Alfred smoothly stepped forward before anyone could say anything. “Well, now that the goodbyes have all been said, I will walk you four out.”

Jason shook his head. “You don’t have to, Alfie. I know the way.”

“Of course you do, Master Jason. But I insist. We’ll stop by the kitchens and I’ll send you home with leftovers.”

Danny tried to hide his smile as Jason merely turned and walked in the direction of the kitchens. It seemed no one argued against Alfred. Once in the kitchens, they were given so much food to take home it required all three to carry it, then Alfred was leading them out a side door which brought them to the drive where Jazz’s car was parked.

Jazz nudged him and nodded her head towards the car. Danny nodded and followed her in while Jason, Alfred, and Robin remained outside to talk for a minute.

Danny took the back seat and met Jazz’s eyes in the rear-view mirror.

She gave him a wry smile and said, “What a night, huh?”

Danny snickered before bursting out into full-on laughter, Jazz joining a breath behind him.

-----

Next

Tim totally spilled the beans about Gun Batman to get people distracted from Danny. He's just being a good new friend.

I'm thinking I'll put this on a temporary hiatus as I work through how I want arc two to go. I know the story beats, but the pacing will absolutely have to change. Not gonna spend 16k words on a single evening again! (Did you guys realize it was that long? I certainly did. XP) In the meantime, I'll keep working on Bring Me Home and rewriting the Wrong Number AU.

Bonus points to anyone who can guess my favorite line from this segment!

And sorry for not replying to comments on the post from two weeks ago. I got caught up in irl stuff and wasn't able to get around to it.

Tag List Part 1

@addie-lover-of-stories, @justwannabecat, @gin2212, @amercurio, @regonold, @overtherose, @readerzj, @sjrose1216, @echoednonny, @deeterzz, @blu-lilac, @number-one-jew, @rowanaway-fromthisbs, @vythika96, @tired-yet-awaken, @themirrorghost, @emeraldcorpral, @all-mights-asscheeks, @darkhinauniverse, @blep-23, @phandomhyperfixationblog, @larkcoe1, @thegatorsgoose, @job-ross-the-second, @britcision, @lenacraft, @bubblemixer, @androgynouslordofescapism, @purefrickingspite, @leftmiraclechaos, @lizisipancardo, @starlight-sparks, @miraculousandmore, @gildedphoenix, @sometimesthingsfallapart, @letmesayfuxk, @phoenixcatch7, @skulld3mort-1fan, @abaowo, @dhampir-princess, @idkmrpianoman, @sarina-elais, @ballzfrog-blog, @undead-essence, @spookytragedyshark, @flyingpansaurus, @akintoabitch, @marivictal, @8-29pm, @justreadingthefanfics, @happybear135, @kisatamao, @spoopyspoony, @adorablechaos, @sara0055, @screamingtofillthevoid

[poppitron360]

Someone sent me an ask ages ago about my Valdangelo hcs, but it somehow got deleted? I’m really really sorry bc I missed a chance of a lifetime to infodump so I hope you’re reading this if that was you and you’ve been waiting for my response- here it is. Please please please don’t be discouraged I love it when people send me asks.

This also doubles up as the third instalment of my series about “Why Literally Any Ship Is Better Than Caleo/Deep-Dive Into My Thoughts On All Leo Ships”:

Pt. 1 Valzhang

Pt. 2 Valgrace

We were robbed of Leo and Nico’s friendship. I get that there are a lot of characters and so many arcs to give them, but I wish that Rick had given them more time to interact and spent less time on Caleo, because tbh we never really cared about Cal for any reason other than to develop the men’s arcs. Because Platonic Valdangelo has so much potential that just isn’t covered in the books, I’m gonna base most of this post on what COULD’VE been, from fannon and headcannons.

1. They are Trauma Twinsies. By that, I mean they are both metaphors for different ways of coping with loss. Nico pushes others away from himself, not wanting to get close to anyone. Leo pushes himself away from others, hiding behind an idealised version of himself. Both believe that letting others in would just lead to rejection, and so they shut everyone out to protect themselves. But I feel like Nico copes with it a lot better than Leo does. He has an outlet for it- being emo. As someone who dabbles with emoism myself, I can tell you that, for me, wearing those clothes actually makes me incredibly happy. Nico is owning his pain. Leo is bottling it all up inside and then hiding it behind the jokes and the smiles. I feel like Nico could teach Leo to let it out a bit.

2. Also, their backstories match in more ways than one. Both their moms were killed because of a prophecy about them- leading them both to blame themselves for their deaths. Both have been treated as outcasts because of their powers, Nico by CHB and CJ, Leo by his family (and probably CHB as well, though we don’t really see how he was treated after revealing his abilities). Both ran away because of that. Both probably have religious trauma. They’ve both lost everyone they’ve ever cared about. They’re both being smothered with love and affection by Jason and the rest of the fandom. They both cope with feeling alone by spending more time talking to things that aren’t alive, Nico to the dead, Leo to his machines.

3. So imagine how they could seek comfort in each other! They’ve both been through similar things, so they understand each other’s pain way better than the others. I mean, Jason means well, but he’s never truly known what it’s like to be an outcast- he was held aloft on a golden shield and pronounced Preator. Neither of them would try to “fix” the other, and they wouldn’t try to “one up” the other either. They just share, and when the other says “that sucks”, they know that they really mean it. I imagine they sit five feet apart and just cry. No talking necessary, just silent understanding passing between them. They keep each other company, because they both know what it’s like to be alone.

4. They are both autistic (headcannon). Thank you to @aroaceleovaldez for opening my eyes to this one, and in fact making me realise a few things about myself and why I relate to Leo and Nico so much (pls go check out their posts on the subject, they do a much better job at explaining it than me). But it’s true. I don’t know if Rick did it intentionally or not, but I henceforth hath claimed them both as my kin, alongside Hephaestus himself (“I don’t understand organic life forms”- me neither, man, me neither). Leo and Nico communicate on the same wavelength, something Caleo doesn’t do. Calypso explodes at him for not fitting the “hero” stereotype, for being different. She has no patience with Leo when he does a social fuck-up, something I personally find incredibly frustrating. When he does something wrong, she just shouts at him, and doesn’t take the time to explain what he should do differently. No wonder Leo immediately got defensive! Here was this random woman yelling at him because he broke her table, and he didn’t understand what he did wrong.

5. They are both tiny- much like how Leo and Frank’s physical appearances symbolise their differences, Leo and Nico’s symbolise their similarities. Because all sad people are short, apparently. Valzhang is the yin and the yang, Valdangelo is just two yins excitedly info-dumping about their special interests, (Mythomagic, Machinery/Dragons). Their shortness could be metaphors for many things that they have in common, but I think it best symbolises their loss of childhoods. Nico has changed a lot since he was that happy little ten-year-old we first met in ttc, but Rick never lets us forget that he’s still just a kid. Leo always lacked the physical advantage in fights, so he’s had to learn from an early age to use his brains and his wits to defend himself. As a result, he grew up way too fast, but he still projects that silly, hyperactive little-boy energy as a way to mask. Calypso ridicules Leo for his height and his scrawny appearance.

6. Nico could let Leo get closure on his mom. Think about it. He’d be able to summon her, let him make peace, and let him realise that she does not blame him for her death. Nico could console Leo, reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, because Nico understands more than anybody what Leo is going through. This helps Leo on his arc way more than Calypso could, help him get closure, and learn to accept himself and his powers.

So, the summary of all these points is: They can understand each other on ANOTHER LEVEL. More than Cal and Leo ever could.

Like I said in my Valzhang post, it doesn’t have to be romantic. I hate that everything revolves around romance. Platonic relationships are important, y’all! We all need them, especially Leo, considering how insecure he feels about being the “seventh wheel”.

What ship should I do next? These are all the ones I actively ship, but anything’s better than Caleo. Liper could be fun, or Perleo. Maybe, to prove that literally anything is better than Caleo, I’ll do Leo x Octavian? Lmk in the comments.

[armins-main-hoe]

Coukd u do an aizawa arrange marriage fic?

Sure! But i don't think i can create a whole fic with chapters so this will just be like a really post with my head cannons about it.

I know you sent this request like literally ages ago and I'm so sorry for only now getting to post it. I was not trying to deliberately ignore you're request I just had not opened tumblr to write in a very long time.

But I'm back now and I'm going to keep up with all the requests I get.

Aizawaxfem!reader

Selenophile

(A person who loves the moon)

You both got married in your early twenties, by now quirk marriages were not as common and were often frowned upon, yet your life had been sealed with Shota Aizawa since you got your quirk.

His quirk, the ability to remove another's quirk with his eyes and your quirk, the ability to control another's health, to either make it better or worse, by your touch.

What your families hoped to achieve was a quirk where one could control another's health with their sight. Since you can always see further than you can touch, the two family heads believed that a quirk like this could lead to a lot of success and, of course, money.

Neither families were at the top of the upper class of society but that did not stop them.

When you first met Shota, you could tell he was a man of few words, he did not like small talk. His eyes sullen and drooping with lack of sleep. You struggled a lot to keep the conversation going with him.

During your engagement, you hardly met him, he was busy with starting his career as a pro hero and you were still doing your apprenticeship under the top nurse of Japan's most famous school, UA.

When you got married and had arrived at your honeymoon, you were sweating buckets. While you weren't all that close to your newly wedded husband, you could never deny that he defiantly had the body of a pro hero, in other words, he was hot as fuck sometimes.

All the exhaustion from the wedding had suddenly disappeared as you began to wonder if he too was expecting anything from tonight.

He didn't. He went straight to sleep. Ugh, men.

The rest of your honeymoon was just as awkward, well at least from your side it was, Shouta did not seem to care all that much, he just appreciated the actual time for sleep he was getting.

Months passed and your relationship with your husband did not get any tighter, you both took turns with chores and cooking, working around each other's schedules.

By now Aizawa's pro hero career was kicking off and you had finished your apprenticeship and had begun working with Recovery girl.

You soon began to think your life was not all that bad, you enjoyed your job and it paid extremely well, you had developed some sort of mutual understanding with your husband, though there was no romance nor friendship, there were no arguments or squabbles either.

Not wanting to admit it so soon, you had actually begun to feel fond of Shota. Sure no strong romantic feelings yet but you could tell he was a genuine guy. A workaholic but to be fair, so were you.

After a year went by, however, you both soon began to get pressure from your families to start trying for a child. They wanted their perfect quirk and they wanted it now, claiming that they had given you both plenty of time to settle in.

Shota would then tell you that he was perfectly fine with waiting, since all anyone can do was talk and shout. No one could physically force you to conceive a child. He also believed now was not the time for a child for you both, since the two of you were so busy with your own work lives.

While you agreed with him you began to wonder if he actually ever wanted to have children. Just like you he was forced into this marriage, neither of you had a choice. But now that you are married, no one can force you to have children like they forced you to get married. So in a way, you both have a choice now.

You didn't ask him about it.

One day you got a call from Shouta, it was late in the evening and you had came home after work. He had told you before hand that he was going to go out and have dinner with a friend of his.

You pick up the call and immediately realised the person on the other end was NOT your husband.

"Yo Mrs Aizawa, your *hic* HUBBY bubby is on the floor, passed out *hic*"

ah, Hizashi Yamada, also known as President Mic. You had never met him but you knew he was a really close friend of your husband's. You then made your way over in your car and picked the two drunk men up. After some difficulty, you managed to get the loud blonde to his place and then got yourself and your husband back to your place.

You helped him walk up the stairs and back to your shared bedroom.

"Okay, stay sitting on the bed, i'm gonna get you something esle to wear okay?" You tell him softly.

"Y/nnnnn?" Shota called out even though you were in the same room.

"I'm here." you say while opening his wardrobe.

"You're my wife, you know that?" He drunkly babbles.

You smile at his antics. "I know shota." You walk towards him with a pair of more loose clothes.

"My pretty wife."

You know he's drunk but it still made you blush.

"My pretty cute wife." He then grabs your face, squishing your cheeks.

"S-shota-"

"Why are you like that?" He asked, letting you go and throwing himself back on the bed.

"Like what?"

"Like, like... like awkward around me. I'm your husband!" He threw his arms up for effect.

"Come on, change your clothes." You pull him up so he is sitting again.

Thats when he pulls you onto his lap.

"Shota!"

"Y/n!" he whined.

He then hugged your waist, nuzzling into your neck. You're entire body flushed, you did not know what to do. You couldn't move even if you wanted.

"You're like the sun y/n.." He then mumbles, yet you couldn't quite understand what he was saying as all you could focus on was his lips brushing against your neck.

"So pretty and happy and... well.. hot. But no matter what I can't get close to you."

"i'd say you're pretty close to me right n-now..."

"But i'm drunk." He then looks up at you.

"Oh so you're aware?"

he nods. "I don't think I have the balls to hug you sober."

You let out a soft laugh, your mind and heart still racing, you had never been so close to him ever since you shared a kiss on your wedding day.

"Why's that?" you asked him, somehow feeling your heart calm down.

"I'm scared." Your eyes widened at his words. You never thought he could be scared of initiating a deeper relationship with you, you always thought that he just did not want one. The conversation ended there that night since he ended up falling asleep straight after.

Shota woke up to one of the worst hang overs he has had his entire lige the next day. Suppose it was not all that bad since his wife took the day off to help him get better.

He did not quite understand why she would take the whole day off, he already had the day off which is why he even agreed to drinking. He thought that she didn't have to skip work just fro him, though he was grateful that she did.

He also noticed that something about her has changed, she became more... close? He isn't quite sure. But he likes it.

With a new step forward in your relationship, the two of you found each other becoming much closer to each other, you would sit and talk for much longer during dinners, tell each other more about your personal interests and on those off days where your both manage to get a day off on the same day, you both would spend the day together, almost as you would on a date.

Then there was a day where Shota had another long shift at his agency, he came back home with a few new cuts and bruises.

You were just getting ready for bed when you saw him go in the bathroom, you noticed the blood dripping down his arm.

"Shota?" You knocked on the bathroom door.

"Yeah?" You heard him say followed by a soft groan.

"What happened?" You ask. "Can I come in?"

"It's fine don't worry, go back to bed."

"Shota.... I can help. You know how my quirk works."

After some convincing, he let you in. His cheek had a dark pink bruise forming, his hero suit ripped. Though he mostly wore black, up close you could see darker patches of black where it clearly was soaked in his blood. The worst of it was his arm, his sleave completely missing and he had burn marks around a massive cut that started at his bicep to his elbow.

"Fuck." You breathed out at the sight of it.

"That bad huh?" He chuckled.

"Why didn't you get patched up at ur agency?" You looked up at him

"The medical staff are out on strike."

You nodded, you heard of some medical staff in some agencies leaving because of how little they got paid.

"Take your top off" You softly say. You can't imagine the type of pain he must be in and yet he's standing and smiling at you like it's nothing.

His top was off and you saw many other little cuts adn bruises filling his skin. You frown at the sight.

"I'm okay Y/N." He whispers.

"No you're not. Stop acting so tough. No one would be okay in a condition like this." You softly scold him while you take his injured arm in your hands and start using your quirk to heal him.

"I'm okay because I have you remember. Look, it's as if it wasn't even there." He looks down at his arm, any sign of injury completely gone. You shake your head at him and then start to work on his torso.

There you both stood, under the single light of the bathroom, your hands on his bare chest while he looked down at you. You then looked up at him. your hand coming up to gently trace the bruise on his cheek while you watch it slowly disappear as you used your quirk. You're eyes met his.

There was something in the way he looked at you. Something that made you feel warm. Something that made you feel safe. Perhaps it was the atmosphere, or maybe the way he looked at you but you found yourself leaning towards his lips.

One of his hands held you by your waist, another now on the back of your head as he leaned in too.

At first it was just a simple peck. But that small kiss ignited something more. As if burning down the doors that help all your pent up emotions towards him. He pulled you back in, kissing you much more passionately this time, his lips moving against yours as if he needed to devour you. He walked you backwards while kissing you till your back hit the door.

Breaking off for air you looked up at him. "Finally grew those balls huh?" You teased him, referring back to when he was drunk.

He rolled his eyes before picking you up so your legs crossed around his waist, carrying you to the bedroom and laying you down on the bed while he hovered on top of you.

"You.. ready?" He asked, placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"For what?" You ask. He wiggled his eyebrows at you while smirking. You let out a laugh while playfully smacking his chest.

"So?" He laughs with you, littering your face with his kisses.

"Yeah, I'm ready." You smile while you felt his lips kiss you all over.

He stopped and took time to admire you, his wife. His pretty wife.

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

Mikey Imagine: His Feelings

It wasn't that you felt lonely but you also didn't feel like you weren't lonely. You had been feeling off the last couple of weeks and couldn't shake it. Everything had been fine up until your best friend got into a relationship and totally forgot about you. Now you just felt left to the wolves. You usually had kept to yourself and it wasn't that you didn't have other friends because you did, they were just too busy to hang out.

You had four friends who a lot of the time showed up unannounced and uninvited. You didn't mind because you liked their company. They usually brought movies and snacks and made you laugh like no other friends could. They saw you and they accepted you. Yet you hadn't seen them in a few weeks and not because they were too busy. It was because you were pushing them away.

You realized a few months ago that you caught feelings for a certain orange sporting turtle. It hit you like a ton of bricks one night while you were trying to sleep. You kept it lowkey and never spoke of it to anyone. You never believed he could like you back or make it work. With him being a mutant, you human, him keeping the city safe, and you having a normal job were all hindering you from telling him.

Mikey flirted with everyone, including you. You never thought much of it at all because it was his personality. Until a few months ago you just brushed it off but once you realized your feelings for him, you couldn't brush it off. You wanted to be the only one he flirted with and give all that attention to.

"Oh Y/NNNNNN." A voice rang out down the hallway.

You had just taken a shower and was all curled up in bed. It was early evening, the sun was still peaking out ever so slightly. You weren't in the mood for anything or anyone.

"No." You mumbled, tucking your head under the covers.

You didn't even hear the footsteps come in to your room. All you felt was the blanket being tugged off of you gently.

"There you are!" Mikey cheered, smiling down at you. "Hey, what's wrong?" His smile faltering.

"Nothing." You muttered, sitting up and ruffling your hair. "Rough day I guess. What's up?"

"I haven't seen you in ages. Ya keep sayin you're busy so the guys sent me to check on you." He explained, shrugging his shoulders.

"How thoughtful." You stated, pulling the blanket back over you. "How are things?"

"Beatin bad guys, video games, the usual." He said, taking off some of his gear before sitting on the other end of your bed to face you.

Mikey always made himself at home when he came to your apartment. They all did but Mikey was always the one who really made himself comfortable. It wasn't an odd thing to find him eating your snacks or sleeping on your couch at random times. It also wasn't unusual to have him sit with you like this on your bed.

You were close with all four of the turtles but Mikey was your main guy. He understood you unlike anyone else. He knew more about you than your own parents/best friend did. You trusted the guys with your life but you trusted Mikey the most. He always treated you with the most kindness and always made sure you were having a good time. He always made sure you were included and that meant a lot to you.

"How fun. Glad to hear things are going well." You said, setting your chin on your hand.

"We do miss you though." Mikey admitted, rubbing the back of his head.

"I'm sorry. I just have a lot going on at the moment." You admitted back.

"Like?" He asked.

You bit the inside of your cheek. "I just," you sighed, "I don't know. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong."

"You could never do anything wrong! You're like the best person ever." Mikey replied, a shocked look on his face.

You sadly smiled at him. "Thanks but Y/B/F/N doesn't seem to think so."

"Is this about their new partner?" He asked.

Mikey was scatter brained about a lot of things but he was observant. He paid a lot more attention to things than his brothers gave him credit for. When you had fallen ill with a stomach bug and just said you were tired, Mikey stayed the night with you to take care of you because he knew you were sick. Another time you had been ditched by an old friend group and didn't want to tell the guys, but Mikey knew something had hurt you so he brought his whole gaming system to your apartment and taught you how to play NBA so you weren't alone.

"Why is it that I'm always the one left behind?" You thought aloud. "I'm happy for them but they just act like I don't exist."

Mikey's face softened. He didn't like seeing you upset and didn't like hearing you talk the way you were talking. The truth was, he meant what he said about you being the best person ever because in his eyes, you were the number one best person. You were his favorite person. He enjoyed April and Casey but he was elated with you.

Since the first day he ever laid eyes on you, he had a crush on you. Yes he was fascinated with all humans but he was especially intrigued by you. You didn't view the brothers as monsters or like there was anything wrong with them. You saw them for them and accepted them as they were. Mikey loved that about you but he especially loved that you took a genuine interest in him.

He was used to being called annoying or told to not be an idiot by his brothers. He knew that was just a sibling thing and if someone else were to say it about him then his brothers would riot. You never once made him feel like he was annoying or an idiot. You laughed at all of his jokes and took an interest in his skateboard tricks and video games. You made him feel normal.

"It's their fault for that. I'm sure you didn't do something wrong." Mikey said, watching you play with the blanket.

"I just feel so alone all the time and I know I'm not. I just can't explain it." You muttered, rubbing your eyes.

"Aw Y/N." Mikey cooed, moving so he was sitting on the edge of your bed next to you. "I get it. It's like you have a huge hole in your soul."

"Yeah...Yeah that's it." You said, looking up at him. "I just wish I could fix it."

Mikey's heart nearly broke seeing the sad look in your eyes. "I'm not the best with words but I got you. I'm gonna help you fix it."

"Thanks Mikey but I don't think you can." You whispered, a sad smile on your lips.

"Why not? I'm the master at fixing feelings." He replied. "Plus you're my best friend! I can't leave ya like this."

"That's really sweet of you but I really don't think you can fix this." You sadly replied.

Mikey studied you for a second. He was debating on whether or not he should call one of his brothers to come by. Then again, you would probably get upset over them fussing over you like you seemed to shut down over him fussing over you. He just couldn't help himself. Your happiness meant the world to him and it was true, you were his best friend.

"Y/N, I spent my whole life underground away from people. All I wanted was to live a normal life like everyone else. I felt alone a lot of the time and then you came along." He explained, grabbing your hand. "I had my brothers and dad and April, but now I have you. You're the most awesomest and best person I know. I never thought I could be normal until you showed up."

"You showed up at the right time and saved me from those stupid gang people." You replied. "You technically showed up first."

You remembered that night clearly. You were walking home from the gas station after you stopped to get a drink. It was a quiet night, the street lights lit up the sidewalks. Some people were out but not a lot. The gas station was just down the street from your apartment so you felt safe enough to stop there before going home. It all happened so fast that you didn't remember much of the actual fight, only when Mikey and his brothers showed up.

While the three older turtles were fighting off the gang people, Mikey was trying to calm you. He kept telling you everything was okay and that he wasn't going to hurt you. He even offered you his gameboy to play on until the fight was over to distract you. When it was all over, Mikey personally escorted you home. That was the first time you had ever met the turtles and now you couldn't imagine your life without them.

"True." He said, smiling at you. "That was the best night of my life."

"I thought the day you got the key to the city was the best night of your life?" You half teased, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Nah, meeting you tops that." He replied, a hint of seriousness in his eyes. "I mean it."

You slightly blushed. "I really can't see my life without you guys."

"Y/N, can I tell you something?" Mikey asked, a nervous look clouding his eyes.

"Anything." You honestly stated.

"I'm not saying this because you're sad and I wanna cheer you up, I'm saying this because I mean it."

"Okay?"

"I like you a lot, I mean a whole lot. More than anyone in the world. I like you more than pizza like you."

You slowly blinked at Mikey. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Mikey liked you more than pizza, which meant his feelings for you were mutual.

"You do?" You whispered. "Really?"

"Is that weird?" He asked.

"Is it weird if I say I like you too?"

"You do!?"

You slowly smiled at him. "Yeah, I have for awhile."

Mikey's lips grew into the widest smile you'd ever seen. "What!? Wow! Okay! Wow!" He stood up and danced a little before sitting back down. "Okay, okay this is awesome."

You chuckled at him. "I guess we feel the same way about each other then."

"So are we a thing now?" He asked, studying your face.

"I think so if you do."

"I'm gonna kiss you now."

Mikey reached over and cupped your face, leaning in and kissing you. It was gentle yet passionate at the same time. You felt safe with him like if anything came to hurt you, you wouldn't be afraid because he was right there. For the first time in months, the hole in your soul was feeling more fulfilled.

You pulled away and smiled at him. "Way to seal the deal."

"What can I say? I got a way with the ladies/men/people." He teased, smiling back at you.

"Thanks Mikey for coming here. I'm really glad you did." You said, reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck.

"I always got you." He mumbled into your neck, wrapping his arms around you.

Muffled cheering was heard from outside. You pulled away and looked over at your window. Leo, Donnie, and Raph were on your fire escape, clapping and cheering for you guys.

"You guys!" You whined.

"That was the worst yet cutest hallmark movie I ever seen." Raph teased as he opened your window.

"Congrats." Leo said, smiling at you and Mikey.

"I think you two owe me Italian tonight." Donnie said, patting Leo and Raph on the shoulders.

You rolled your eyes and looked at Mikey, who just grinned at you. The wait was definitely worth it.

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ PART THREE - TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀summary page

✧ content warnings su*icidal thoughts (very brief. just one sentence)

God, she’s so damn pretty. Ten years later, and Y/N looks the same as before. Actually, no. She’s gotten more gorgeous. What came with age was fuller curves and a rounder face. But her deep brown complexion still shines the same when the sun kisses her skin. 

 I watched her sleep like a creep after I made love to her and that tight pussy. Talk about being dead. I feel alive after fucking Y/N. After being reunited after so many years. After saying… saying I love her.

 It was never my intention to stop by Y/N’s apartment after seeing my kid. Hell, I didn’t even think she would still be living here, but I had to check. And I’m glad that I did. 

 Maybe it was selfish of me to come see Y/N when, based on her reaction, knew that I was dead. Me coming here probably hurts more and gives her the illusion that I’ll be here forever. 

 I’m not. 

 I’m temporary. Just how it was ten years ago because I always knew I wasn’t going to last long in this world. 

 And even when I knew that I still pursued Y/N. I’m not saying it with pride, but I don’t care. I needed her. I needed that fucking addicting energy. 

 Then, when I realized I love her… she wasn’t going anywhere. I wouldn’t let her. So, yeah. Maybe I’m a dick for building a temporary connection with Y/N, but what I had with her was one of my best memories. And I don’t keep many of those.

 But soon, that’ll come to an end.

  Again . 

 I can’t stay here forever. Not even for another hour. I have to go now because any longer I’ll become more than selfish. 

 “You like what you see?” Y/N’s asks, pulling me back to reality. She’s awake, and there’s this type of sexiness in her sleepy voice that makes me hard. 

 I gently push her coils away from her forehead. “Always.”

 “…What happened?”

 Already knowing what she’s talking about, I began answering her question.

 “That white-haired brat that I sent to tell you I’m not coming killed me. I got too fucking cocky.” 

 “So how are you here right now?” 

 I sit up, looking at my hand then to her. “Honestly… I don’t know. It had something to do with that cursed technique shit I told you about.”

 “I see.” She looked down and I took notice of her eyes watering. 

 I caress her cheeks. “Don’t cry for me, sweets.”

 “Ten years, Toji. Ten years I went without you. Been without you. Everything was robbed from us,” she explains. “It was hard for me to adjust to your death. Still is, but I’m trying.”

 When I look at her, I see someone broken. Hurt. Betrayed. She’s crying for me because of me. I made the wrong decision… Here I am, yet again, being the cause of Y/N’s pain. 

 “I waited a week for you, and you never came back. I even said a pep talk to myself to leave you alone when I saw you again. Who knew that would’ve been my permanent reality.”

 “I’m sorry, sweets, but you’re an angel,” I say to her, rubbing her bottom lip with my thumb.  “You were never meant to be with someone like me. We wouldn’t have lasted even if I wasn’t killed.”

  What am I doing?

 A frown forms between her brows. “What are you talking about? Why do you keep saying that?” She also sits up to look me dead on. “You’ve been saying this since we met, Toji. I’m a fully grown adult and more than capable to dictate who can and cannot be in my life. Why don’t you understand that I love you?”

 “Because I’m not a lovable person. I’m not meant to have love.”

  I serve no purpose in this world. 

 “Yet here I am, loving you. I’ve loved you for ten years! Even after you were killed, I desired only you. You ,”—she points her finger at my chest— “own my heart. I don’t want anyone else, but you and I can’t even have you because you’re dead. I don’t know how you’re here right now–I might be fucking hallucinating, but you’re dead!”

 Her breaths are shallow and tears stream down her face. How can someone look so beautiful while in pain? 

 Y/N is right. I am dead. If I can take a guess, I was summoned to wreak havoc. But rather than doing that, I came to see her one last time. I should’ve killed myself after I came across my kid. 

 Coming here was a mistake. 

 She makes me feel like… a human. These emotions brewing inside of me creates an attachment to a world I have no reason being in. Y/N is my attachment. No matter how many times I try to see myself as less than a human, her love will always give me hope to a reality I didn’t think was possible. 

 Coming here wasn’t a mistake. Walking out her door ten years ago was.

 I didn’t mean to hurt her. Not like this. 

 “I have to go,” I say, abruptly, leaving her bed to head toward the balcony. I knew I wouldn’t be here for long, so after we had sex, my clothes were back on. 

 I just wanted to spend a bit more time with her. 

 “What-where are you going?” She gets out of bed, bare body on display, to follow me. “Toji, where are you going?”

 “I shouldn’t have come.”

 “What? Why?” she asks, sounding frantic. “Fuck, where’s my shirt? Where’s my fucking shirt?”

 By now, I’m at the edge of the balcony, ready to leave. I look back at Y/N to see her put on clothes to follow me. I look back to see the woman I love and the life I could’ve had.

 Growing old and being with someone forever sounds like hell. But with Y/N? It would’ve been more than worth it. She even had optimism to believe I can make amends with my kid. 

  I don’t want to leave her. Not again. 

Before I leave, I go to her one last time and place a soft kiss on her forehead, halting her from her movements. Y/N is breathless, but still manages to take my fucking breath away. 

 God, I’m going to fucking miss her. 

 “Toji, please don’t leave me. Not yet. Just a little longer, baby.”

 “I can’t.”

 “You can’t or you won’t?” she asks, accusingly.

  Both .

 “Looks like I was able to keep my promise.” I try to leave, but she grabs my hand.

 “Toji! No, please. Please, don’t leave me. We can figure something out. Just stay. I can’t do this alone.”

 It’ll be hard, but you can. Someone will be good enough to love you properly.

 “Why did you come back? Why did you tell me you love me just to leave? Just to say you kept the fucking promise?”

 “I said I would come back to you and say it. That’s what I did,” I argued.

 “So stay now! Stay with me! I don’t give a shit about your nihilistic attitude. Do this for me. For once, don’t be selfish.”

 “I c-”

 “You know what? I hate you. I hate you so much, Toji. You just keep hurting me over and over again, and I never learn. Why can’t you just do this for me?” She falls to her knees and begins sobbing uncontrollably. “ Please… just for me.”

 I wish you can understand how badly I fucking love you.

 “Goodbye, Y/N.”

 If I stayed any longer, I knew it would be harder for me to leave. I jumped over the balcony and left Y/N crying in her apartment. She screams, cries, curses at me any and every emotion that comes to that pretty mind of hers, causing my empty heart to feel the same way it did on the day I was killed.

  Broken .

 I thought maybe after my wife died long ago, I would reaffirm my identity by fighting that Gojo brat. To go against the Zen’in Clan and prove to them I’m not a fuck up. That they should fear someone like me who lacks cursed energy. 

 I thought love made me weak. 

 I allowed my pride to get the best of me.

 Now, having love taken away from me for the second time, makes me regret warping to my usual self. I kept fucking saying I held no purpose in the sorcerer world, but I continued fighting in it. Just to stroke my ego.

 I had a chance to feel like a human again and fucked it up by leaving Y/N that day. I don’t know how many times I have to tell her that I’m sorry, but I am.

 I’m so sorry, sweets.

 Another selfish thing for me to ask is to forgive me. So maybe if we found each other in another life, I could love you properly.

 That’s the only thing I’ll beg for while I’m atoning my sins in the afterlife.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

THE END.

hello. thank you for reading until the end. if you're interesting in continuing this couple's journey, i suggest you read, words i've finally said.

[bugsbenefit]

It’s because some of us can’t stand fanon mike he’s not will or el at the end of the day it’s not our fault the duffers already messed up his character arc long ago. some of us aren’t really interested in mike like that and to be frank I hate how much trauma people are putting on him as if he isn’t a privileged middle class *maybe cis maybe not* kid with insecurities cause he can’t play hero anymore like he used to. Fanon mike is retaliation to whatever we got the last two season from the character and I get it, but why are we keep acting like he’s important to vecna or the plot like that he’s just els boyfriend and wills crush at this point.

You don’t agree with this most likely but idc I’m just here to let this out for those who sympathize with mike. He’s genuinely not a interesting character and if Will wasn’t in love with him I wouldn’t look his way.

Hello? Will solo stan that doesn't get the show in My asks? more likely than you think

i'm sorry but you clearly sent this knowing i wouldn't agree with you and you don't sound like you want a conversation so... why did you send this? was it just to tell me there's people that don't care about Mike? because shockingly, i know that already, the influx in open Mike hate was why everyone doubled down on his character being important and purposeful last week in the first place

i'm genuinely confused on how you're watching the show, though. i mean, at least you're admitting you're only in it for Will so i guess you're aware of your bias and shortcomings?

also lmao sorry but *maybe cis maybe not*?? are you trying to say being queer in the midwest 80s in a small town with a conservative environment wasn't that bad or damaging or worth elaborating on because he's "probably cis" and the family is middle class? hello? newsflash just in, the queers need to stop complaining about how scared they are of coming out and potential consequences of it, if you're cis you're basically getting cishet privileges anyway. i'm really not sure what you meant to say here, you okay? also, aren't All the characters cis??

the vendetta you have against "fanon Mike" is fascinating tbh. what exactly is "fanon Mike" to you, bc the ask suggests it's just Mike with any motivations and 3dimensional writing orrrr? also thank you for telling me that Mike El and Will are separate characters! i almost forgot! i really needed the reminder that these extremely different characters aren't actually the same person or re-skins. thanks for your service, you really showed the evil Mike-sympathizers today o7

but you know what, sure, i'll indulge this a bit, i like talking about the show after all, you don't have to read this ofc, i feel like we're both aware we won't find common ground here

saying that Mike isn't important to the plot is batshit crazy sorry not sorry. not even talking about s5, it's just plain wrong in general and i'm assuming you haven't seen the show in ages

even right from the beginning Mike is established as the first MC and then proceeds to be the main pov for the entirety of s1. in universe Mike is the parties dm unofficial leader and according to Will "heart of the party", out of universe Mike is the only character that has established relationships and evolving conflicts with every single party member and even most adults like Hopper and Joyce. i don't know how you're watching the show to take away that Mike is unimportant and a support character

ST is an ensemble show and Mike is one of the characters, alongside El, Joyce and Will that consistently fills an MC role. (while also being one of the only ones to outright get referred to as one of the mains by actors and writers) where you got the idea from that Mike is a useless character people are stupid to care about is beyond me

if you're genuinely going into s5 hoping for Mike to be as unimportant and off-your-screen as possible i feel like you're setting yourself up for the disappointment of the century. i feel stupid just listing the reasons for why Mike is clearly going to be an important player in s5 because of how obvious they are but oh well

Mike is the first protagonist ever introduced and the final season that wants to go "full circle" Has to finish his arc satisfyingly for it to work

Mike is Will's love interest, a character that's already confirmed to be more of a main on screen again, so focusing on both parties of the ship is necessary to get them together

also Mike is still in a relationship? if he's supposed to go from dating El to suddenly dating a guy that's also his childhood bff you need to elaborate on his feelings. otherwise Will's romance is also going to fall flat and i'm sure you don't want that anon

Mike is part of the people that only came back to town after everything in s4 went down already and part of the group that seems to be the main focus in s5 (see the hill shot)

also just regarding the hill shot, Mike is center stage here (and also between his two "love interests"), totally accidental i'm sure

also the only character Will told about Vecna being alive in s4 and already swore to kill him with Will, also totally not a s5 set up don't worry

and before i go on here, aside from the writers themselves mentioning Mike as a main in multiple interviews David talked about the s5 mains a few days ago and Obviously Mike is up there along with El, Will and Joyce, exactly the people you'd expect

i don't understand how people are trying so hard to claim that there's nothing interesting about Mike to get into, as if even just s4 itself doesn't go out of it's way to set up an excess of potential conflict for s5

obvious relationship drama with El left hanging after an "i love you" monologue which we didn't see a response to yet

feelings for his best friend while he's still dating his gf

the unresolved painting lie

also the sexuality issue that comes with being queer/gay, that's been going back to s1. also made more severe by the show going out of it's way to repeatedly hammer home that the Wheelers are conservative and don't have close relationships with their kids

"you're the heart", speech about leading the party and bringing everyone together. he can't just face into the bg after Will gave him that talk, there needs to be payoff

the whole hellfire thing that's set up with the members names and faces being broadcast as "satanists" and the potential reason for everything that's been going on ON TV, sure that won't have any consequences am i right?

the Vecna plot itself, s4 makes it a point to have Will tell Mike and only Mike about Vecna being alive and the two of them agree to kill him right before the season ends

and that's just the obvious set ups s4 leaves us with, not even touching on the fact that Mike's pov has been withheld for essentially 2 seasons. which is something you can do and ignore, but only if the characters don't have anything going on during that time. Mike meanwhile changes drastically in these two seasons and we never get to learn what actually happened, why he's suddenly so set on growing up and getting gfs in s3, why he's suddenly such an uninterested bf in s4, why he suddenly feels weird about kissing El in the s3 finale after already having made out with her. there's a lot happening and we only see the fall out of it, we don't get Mike's pov. you call it "bad writing" but that's a picture book writing 101 set up, if you don't see that i don't know what to tell you

but i feel like you said everything already, i'm just rambling because i like talking. we probably won't find any common ground here. you only tolerate Mike because you like Will and that's that. not everyone has to care about every aspect of a show, however, i don't get why you're going to other blogs to tell them about your personal preference and about how you don't like one of the MCs. this is an ensemble show, it's not the El-show, and it's not the Will-show either, both of these takes are equally wrong

i don't know what the ideal s5 would look like to you, but if it turned out Will was the only important thing and the only character we focused on it would be absolute ass and horrible writing

Lucas just lost Max and left him with a shit ton of trauma, also Erica's gone through so much too. Max is still lost in a coma. El is distraught over not being able to save Max and now not find her anymore. Dustin just lost Eddie right in front of him too. there's a military presence in Hawkins now, the hellfire club fallout still hasn't happened, and so on and on. (also things like the "Nancy love triangle" still need time to be resolved too)

there's a lot s5 has to focus on to be a good wrap up for all these arcs. and yes, handling Mike's arc well is also part of that, shockingly

also ending this with a: you know people are allowed to like and care about character even if you don't give a shit about that character, right? claiming a central character with a ton of conflict set up isn't interesting is well withing your right and i won't change your mind on that, i'm aware, but going after people for actually caring about the conflicts the show is setting up isn't the move either. not everyone is obligated to share your views, especially when they're this far out there. and i feel like you knew that going in here

[jeonghanspookie]

The Planning

"Okay." Seungkwan spoke out loud. He turned to look at everyone who gathered in the break room. Well almost everyone. Only two were missing.

Seungkwan could feel his eye start to twitch, "I will kill him!"

Seokmin, the only one who was really paying attention to Seungkwan, came quick to defend his fellow coworkers.

"I'm sure he's on his way. He's probably finishing an order right now and Y/N is probably trying to help him out."

"Yeah she knows you'd throw a fit if Vernon didn't come asap," Soonyoung joined in.

The rest of the group quieted down as the conversation about the two absent members continued.

Jeonghan ,who was getting a bit impatient, stood up, "Let's just start planning! I'm sure we can just fill them in later."

The other 11 seemed to agree as they gave a nod or a shrug.

"Alright," Seungkwan pipped up, "let's figure out transportation. We should divide into four cars."

He grabbed a dry erase marker and headed towards the whiteboard (that was conviently brought into the break for some reason) and started to make four lists.

"Any volunteers for drivers?"

"I can drive" Seungcheol offered.

Seungkwan quickly wrote his name at the top of the first list. "Okay, anyone else?" he asked as he looked back at everyone.

Jeonghan and Mingyu also volunteered to drive. They were left with finding the last driver.

"Seungkwan don't you want to drive?" Joshua asked.

"Oh yeah! You recently got your license right? Are you confident in your diving skills?" Jeonghan teased.

Chan immediately stood up. "YOU WANT US TO DIE ON THE WAY THERE?!?!" He slammed his hands on the table to emphasize his concern.

"HEY! I'm not that bad" Seungkwan defended.

Chan scoffed, "You retook your test like three times AND you rescheduled your last one five times because you were too nervous."

Seungkwan threw Chan a look and pointed his marker at him threateningly.

"YOU LITTLE-"

Seokmin got in the middle and quickly separated the two before they could bicker even more. "Okay maybe someone else just drive." he smiled nervously.

Wonwoo shrugged, "All I know is I'm not driving. "

"Whyyyy" Soonyoung whined, "you have the most comfortable car!"

He came next to Wonwoo and tried to give him puppy dog eyes.

(or the eyes of tiger, whatever that meant ?)

"Nope" Wonwoo stated. "I drove last time we had a trip. I want to relax this time around"

Soonyoung pouted and went back to his original seat. Not forgetting to stop his feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Conversation about the last driver continued on until the final two friends finally made their way to the break room.

"Hey guys!" Y/N greeted

Vernon simply nodded his head to everyone else as sat down on the nearest chair.

Seungkwan gave him a glare but Vernon didn't seem to mind. He's quite used to it after all.

"Oh are we deciding cars?" Y/N asked as she looked up at the board.

Seungkwan, who finally stopped glaring at Vernon, sighed. "Yup. Just trying to find the last person."

Y/N looks back at the group excitedly. Her eyes finding a way to one specific person.

"Oh Wonwoo can you take the last car? I want to ride shotgun. I really like your car!" Y/N beamed.

Soonyoung shook his head and have a look of disappointment. "Sorry Wonwoo already said that he doesn't-"

Soonyoung was quickly cut off by Wonwoo covering his mouth with his hand.

"Yeah of course Y/N." Wonwoo smiled. "I'll be the last driver."

"Perfect!" Y/N sent a smile back.

The rest of the group looked at each other. Some had wide eyes and shocked faces, others were confused, and some looked at Wonwoo like he was the biggest simp in the world. (note: he is)

Had Wonwoo not declared that he didn't want to drive just a few minutes ago?

Soonyoung was the most shocked. He couldn't believe that he brought out his tiger gaze to beg Wonwoo and get rejected. Yet Y/N could just come in and convince him ??? It didn't make any sense. How come he didn't get any special treatment. His mouth went back into a pout.

"Hey! How come you say yes to Y/N-" again Soonyoung was cut off mid sentence.

Seungkwan interjected, "It doesn't matter." he shook his head. "We can decide who goes in what car now" he turns back to write on the board.

"Oh Cheesecake you can come join me in Wonwoo's car!"

prev <- masterlist -> next

[arlathvhenan]

What's your take on Flemeth *in DAO*? Inquisition was my first DA game, and I was shocked to discover the "you were never in danger from me" lady actually treated Morrigan very poorly. Most of my wardens agree to fight Flemeth if Morrigan tells them of her childhood. But I have a feeling Solas would be pissed as hell knowing Mythal had to (temporarily) die again.

I think Flemeth is a deeply complex woman who was victimized long ago and that cocktail of rage and pain that’s been stewing inside her for centuries has warped her immeasurably and irrevocably. She’s the victim who went on to become the abuser.

I also know that bitch isn’t really dead, because we’ve been through this one with Flemeth before and the woman is always 50 steps ahead.

I also don’t think what happened between her and Solas was unplanned. The two clearly have essentially the same goals* and appear to have been working towards these goals together for ages. What happened in the epilogue was left intentionally vague, but if you take in to context what we know about these characters, their abilities, and how magical shit works in Thedas, you can put together a decent interpretation.

My interpretation is thus:

What happened in the epilogue was the contingency plan Solas desperately wanted to avoid, and it’s likely a factor in why losing his Orb is so devastating to him. Flemeth/Mythal knew before hand what would happen and made the proper preparations. I think the reason Flemeth acts so seemingly out of character there is because Flemeth herself had already bounced. She sent her soul/spirit/whatever through the Eluvian to occupy the next host body. I have theories on ho that host might be, but that’s for another post. Point is, she’s been doing that exact thing for centuries, not sure what would stop her now.

So who was that we spoke to? I think it was just Mythal. Flemeth bounced, leaving Mythal’s wisp and possibly also the Archdemon behind.

Note—if Morrigan’s son Kieran exists in your world state, then the scene you get instead of going to the shrine takes place in The Fade (supposedly the actual Fade). And instead of it being just Flemeth, you find she’s essentially kidnapped her own grandson to preform some ritual on him involving the Archdemon soul. That line where she tells Morrigan “you were never in danger from me” is triggered after Morrigan refuses to sell out her own son to save herself—“I will not be the mother you were to me.”

What was Flemeth planning to do with Kieran? Who knows, but after Morrigan’s little freak out she extracts the Archdemon soul from Kieran with ease. Literally flicks her hand and whoosh. There goes Urthemiel. Now she’s got the demon…temporarily.

Kieran may be quantum but I think Flemeth likely ends up getting her hands on Urthemiel regardless. If I’m right, then the Archdemon as well as Mythal are now rooting around in Solas’ head. Think Justice and Anders from DA2 but instead of a regular spirit it’s two ancient beings with godlike power. I’m not sure this is an arrangement he’s particularly ok with, but it’s what he feels must be done for the greater good.

Thing is, I’m not sure the greater good actually matters to Flemeth or Mythal at this point. Maybe they did once, but the two have been warped over the ages. They care more about vengeance than justice. Even so, there’s a part of them (or maybe just Mythal) that has enough self awareness to feel guilt over how badly she keeps fucking over the people she’s meant to live most.

There are obvious parallels between Mythal and Divine Justinia, which is how people like myself have come to draw parallels between Solas and Leliana. Based on the very scant knowledge we have of their relationship, it seems like Solas (as Fen’Harel) was her left hand. Like Liliana, he was asked to do the dirty work. The kind of things that leave scars behind, both physical and emotional, and will eventually wear a person down over time.

When Flemeth/Mythal says to Solas, “I’m sorry, too” I can’t help but think of the message Justinia (or a spirit who identified with her) asked the Inquisitor to give Leliana: “I’m sorry, I failed you, too.”

I could keep going regarding my thoughts on Flemeth and that whole situation, but then this post would go on for miles.

TLDR; Flemeth is always suss