#also stuff irl kept me from putting everything I had into this piece

[sg-the-mag-by]

I am literally a week late but Mother’s Day is every day for those who have loving mothers/mother figures in their lives.

And as you see, Bellflower Bat is just that, not only to her two biological sons Milkweed(green bat baby) and Caidan “Caddy”(purple caterpillar baby), bet it’s difficult to figure out these boys’ dad😉😆 but to Howdy’s nephews Howdo and Youdo(still don’t know which is which) and also @dollpuppets adorable OC Allie Sweetie they see Bellflower as an aunt.

Bellflower is so happy to have hugs from some of her favorite kids in the Neighborhood and they are all happy to have her in their lives too.

So to all the mothers, aunts, grandmothers, potential mothers, and “mothers” to their pets I wish you all a lovely day today.

Howdo and Youdo-@partycoffin

Allie Sweetie-@dollpuppets

Bellflower Bat, Caidan and Milkweed-Me

[iraprince]

PLEASE forgive me if someone has asked about this before, but how do you start a digital sketchbook? What's a good page goal to reach, in your opinion? Your art rules <3

thank you so much! tbh tho i think that totally depends... mine tend to be 13-ish pages plus cover, but they're BIG vertical digital pages with several irl-pages-worth of sketches crammed in. and there's not really any specific reason why i do it that way! that just happened to be the number i landed on when i put my first one together (and now i don't remember why), and then i just kept them all around the same length for consistency.

most of the time when i see other ppl's digital sketchbooks they're way longer than that, though i'm not sure if maybe most people don't cram as many separate drawings per page as i do? also, if this matters at all: my sketchbooks don't sell well a la carte at all, they're primarily a patreon reward and then i offer them as itchio downloads just in case someone wants to buy them one at a time... once in a blue moon someone buys them that way, but it's rare. so i actually really can't offer any advice on what ppl look for when they're buying digital sketchbooks, or what would make a digital sketchbook sell well — because mine don't, haha!!

but if i had to guess, more pages released less frequently (i.e. collecting up all your art from an entire year) would probably do better for standalone sales. i keep mine short bc then i can release them a little more frequently, again bc mine are geared at patreon.

as for how to start or any other tips — tbh, mine are just a combination of what i'm already doing, both digital and traditional scans! warmups, character design, concept work and doodling, stuff that just normally doesn't get posted. it's rare for me to draw something specifically bc i'm like "oh, i want this to be in the sketchbook pdf" — the only stuff i usually draw bespoke is like, filling in empty spaces after i've puzzle-pieced existing work together. and especially if you're doing stuff for patreon, that's my general advice: try to make as much of your workload stuff you would already be drawing anyway, rather than giving yourself NEW tasks on top of everything else.

my actual technical process is very simple: i have a big old multi-layer document, with folders for each page. (since these are always intended for digital viewing, i make sure the width of the page at 100% zoom is nice and comfy on a computer monitor, to spare ppl a bunch of annoying scrolling side to side; and when i put drawings together on the pages i try to make sure they're sized nicely in the same way, so you can see the entire drawing without having to scroll around it.) every once in a while i go through my digital warmups and copy them over and arrange them nicely on the pages, and the same with scanning in everything i've drawn on paper every week or two; once the pages are filled up i save each folder as a separate page and then stitch it all together into a pdf! nothing fancy.

[little-bloodied-angel]

So my birthday is this Friday, and:

-I'm sick as a dog currently, can't see my doctor until tomorrow, and it may be covid, which would mean I'd have to be in isolation.

-In no small part thanks to my mother, I haven't hit my weight gain goal. I feel guilty but also just look awful in general, and I'm weak and in pain

-I look even worse because I've been sick and depressed during the relapse, so I haven't kept my eyebrows up after my last professional appointment, which was really difficult to do at home without equipment anyway and being nearly blind. And the appointment was in July anyway. I also haven't gotten my hair done like I usually do around my birthday. And I couldn't replace my gel nails because my mother keeps putting it off because she's a cheapskate, same as the eyebrows, so now one is broken and the rest are overgrown (I got them done in late August). There's no time to fix any of it even if I could pay for it because there's no way I can get the appointments. Even if I could, I can't call for those appointments until I'm tested negative for covid, and seeing the first point that's going to take a while

-Because dealing with my BDD and ED isn't enough, I got my period and I'll still have it on Friday, so I'm going to be super dysphoric. And only able to wear black clothes in case of stains. And not being able to take a nice bath either (can't use insertion object type sanitary products).

-My uncle/godfather is completely ignoring me

-My father has basically disappeared and hasn't mentioned my birthday once

-My mother is a piece of shit as ever and now she's taken to leaving me completely alone to go to her father's house despite me being actively sick now and not "just" disabled. Which means that I'm coughing my lungs up and with such a high fever I see double, and I still have to at minimum take care of the dog and feed myself. The last time I was walking the dog I got so dizzy because of the fever and general weakness that I almost split my head on the edge of the sidewalk but when I told her about that all she did was yell about me not being careful enough. The only times my birthday has been mentioned in the house at all is whenever I bring it up and she complains that I want everything to be about me and "ridiculously expensive things" like the nails. Btw she's still living off the money she gets both from my dad and from the government for having a disabled child and living in my house without paying rent or mortgage. So even if I was really asking for expensive things, that's my money.

-My only irl best friend dipped on me because she mixed up the dates related to an event that features one of her comics.

-Most of my online friends aren't talking to me either

-Something else that I'm really upset about but that I can't mention in a public post for more than one reason.

There's more stuff going on but these are just the recent developments as of like last month. It's like some force of the universe heard me complain about not wanting to turn 29 and also about how difficult it was going to be to celebrate and decided to make it outright impossible. Most of my birthdays have been pretty sad and lonely, especially lately, but man I suspect this one is going to take the cake. The only one that probably can't be topped is the one where I planned my super special 18th birthday for months and then I died during the party (coded during a seizure) because my chronic illness finally had it with me and suffered a steady decline ever since then.

It's really looking fucking great. Alone, looking horrid, being depressed, no party, no presents and no special food. Of all the things I wanted I am going to have literally zero.

And of course if I ever do make mention of being sad about this my mother becomes even more emotionally abusive than usual.

What's the damn point anymore?

[fountainpenguin]

FOP Fic News

Overview

I’ve always had table of contents docs for projects like Origin and Knots, and since I’m returning from hiatus, I recently moved them to a spreadsheet and mapped out what dates I should plan to upload chapters on and how long it will take me to finish these stories. I went through lots of docs with a critical eye and combined or cut chapters to get a better idea of how things are looking.

Posting at my current schedule of one chapter every other week, it looks like  Origin and Knots will come to an end in 2025 (if I stay on top of my buffer) and although that feels so far away, there’s a certain relief in it since my combining and cutting helped me bring that down from 2026.

That schedule doesn’t leave wiggle room for other projects like Come What May, the 130 Prompts, and work for my other fandoms that I’ve been drafting over the years. I don’t really like the idea that if I wrap up Origin and Knots in 2.5 years, I’ll still have another several years of Prompts left to go. I always knew these were big projects and working on them made the long years of school more fun, but it’s always been my intention to finish them, and I’d rather do that sooner than later. After all, I’m still sitting on pieces I wrote in 2016 about Cavatina, and 2026 isn’t as far away as it seems... The idea that the 10-year anniversary of his arc might hit before I actually post it leaves me shook, my dude.

I’ve given it some thought and realized that if I post 130 Prompts on the weeks between Origin and Knots chapters, I can wrap the series up in 2026, maybe 2027. I can live with that a lot more than I can live with the idea of working on this project past 2030, ha ha.

In other words, I’m setting a goal of a ‘fic update every Friday, starting soon (I’ve got the next Prompt done, but I’m sitting on it for a sec to build the buffer out farther). There might be some Fridays where there’s nothing, but keep your eyes out for things that interest you. I hope you enjoy :)

--

130 Prompt Details

So, many of you are probably familiar with my FOP one-shot series, 130 Reasons Why I’m Fairy Trash. I've had all the 130 Prompts planned out for years, but I lost interest in some of those plans as time went on (Not the big plot stuff, that's still the same, but some minor standalones).

I recently went through my docs to refresh my memory on what’s to come. I had some vague ideas that I never fleshed out and realized that I never will, so I’ve scrapped those. I also had stuff I scrapped years ago, but fell in love with the drafts all over again and am eager to see them finished off.

In 2022, I took an FOP and Tumblr hiatus to focus on other things like my IRL job and personal projects, and I couldn’t maintain the spark of inspiration for FOP at the same time. Mostly, the reason for that was just that I was busy and was putting my time and creative energy into other projects, and I simply didn’t have time for both. I didn’t realize until now, but I think I also felt pressure to create something big and meaningful with what I submitted, and I became paralyzed with thoughts of putting out something “boring” or “weird” and facing critique that my work was confusing or unenjoyable.

Anyway, while recently looking through my WIPs, I remembered the 130 Prompts were always meant to be a series of short side stories and that there’s nothing wrong with dorky little one-offs. I don’t need to put pressure on myself to turn everything into a polished 10k+ story when just a few thousand words will do, or overthink the humor and flow to the point I talk myself out of doing something.

I spent some time a bit ago looking over my stuff and making a new plan for the order I want to post things in, and it feels much more achievable to me now. I’m excited to get back to it. Hoping to post some dumb and silly things more often because “I had an idea and it made me laugh” is valid.

--

Stuff Getting Scrapped / Kept

I’ve realized that I’m not going to write Identity Theft and Acacia Arcadia as standalone ‘fics. I scrapped some scenes and the rest will be recycled into 130 Prompts to replace the ones I cut. I’ve set my plan up so that the next Prompts in line are ones that have solid drafts and I’m excited to work on, so I’m hoping to get on a regular posting schedule with those soon, alternating weeks with Origin and Knots.

Hawthorn Haven and Devil’s Backbone will prrrobably still exist as their own ‘fics someday when the time is right, as when I first made their outlines, I was already prepared to work on them “when I’m older.” I don’t feel the same pressure to finish them. I’m still looking forward to them, but they’re in “Can’t talk about these things until we’re in that point of the timeline” jail. I’ve always intended for Devil’s Backbone to be the end of my FOP writing days, so it’s on the backburner for obvious reasons, but when the time does come to close out all the stories and wonderful worldbuilding, I hope it’ll be a blast.

I do still have a draft for a ‘fic called Along the Cherry Lane which focuses on Timmy and his friends growing up, marrying, having kids, etc. but that’s on the backburner for now too. I’m not sure if I want to keep it, but also not ready to let it go. If I do let it go, I’ll find a place for the scenes I liked within the Prompts or I’ll post one or two one-shots instead of the whole ‘fic. I do intend to get back to Come What May once I get the spark back for it and I might even return to Snips and Snails... who knows.

--

Tl;dr

I still have several years of FOP content that I plan to release, as I’ve never wanted to abandon these stories I love. I knew I was starting big projects and I knew they would take me years to finish, but as my 10-year anniversary of writing FOP ‘fics creeps nearer and nearer... Yeah, there’s a certain part of me that's ready to jump back into a schedule and see if I can wrap up all three of these big projects by the time I hit that mark. Crazy how it’s been so long.

Currently I have an Origin / Knots ‘fic buffer through the end of June. We’re entering the phase of the story where the drafts are pretty solid, which means they hopefully won’t take long to polish. Exciting!

--

The Schedule

Throughout 2023, you can expect Origin and Knots to alternate weeks. These two ‘fics are main priority in my ‘fic-writing life, so they get buffer priority and I intend to keep up with this goal as best I can. If all goes according to plan, we should be wrapping up towards the end of 2025. I hope to see y’all there :)

I’ll be sprinkling in updates to other projects throughout the “off” weeks. Sometimes there might be no update at all, and I’m okay with that because the “off” weeks are simply meant to be “If there is something, it can be shared” weeks. I’m not holding myself to posting at those times in the same way I’m holding myself to keeping Origin and Knots on schedule, but I look forward to getting to share some fun things like 130 Prompts, more Come What May chapters, miscellaneous one-shots, and content for other fandoms.

Even if I stay consistent, I definitely don’t expect to wrap up the 130 Prompts until 2026 or 2027, and that’s okay. These next few years will be busy, but I’m looking forward to forming a healthy work-life balance- there’s a certain value that a scheduled writing system has in helping you look forward to the next creation you get to share... It makes the work week a little bit nicer.

--

Closing

As a reader, your interest in silly fairy fanfics might come and go, but thank you so much to those who’ve loved my work over the years, reblogged posts, left reviews, sent Asks, chatted with me, and so much more.

Also, thank you to those who’ve left me kudos on AO3. I still get emails every time there are kudos, and while I don’t track how many kudos my little stories receive in this old, quiet fandom, it is really cool to see how much love has been given to some of the short pieces I wrote 6 or 7 years ago.

As the years have gone by, it’s been a good reminder that people have really liked some of those pieces that I don’t think about as often as my longer stuff. I don’t need to psych myself out worrying that my quick one-shots aren’t good enough... I’m looking forward to posting some short things again soon.

Thank you for the love and support! I hope you enjoy what’s next <3

[hotwings0203]

as ur irl bestie i am cashing in my favor and am asking- no begging for a dilf damon fic pls <3

😑fine fineee I guess I can take a quick break from writing BNHA stuff for you🙄

CW: NSFW, Damon Albarn being an a-hole, manipulation, gaslighting, language minor stuff like that

The studio itself was pretty spacious, you couldn't lie. As much as you loathed to give this cursed group any more credit, you were hard-pressed to remember the last time you´d been called into such a professional recording booth. You were used to dingy atmospheres, crumbling walls, stained carpet, and even cramped garages at times. It felt like your years of meticulously swaying your hand back and forth on the rosin and tuning your strings until they damn near popped were slowly going down the drain, lost in spaces of screaming adolescent boys and shady market agents. The streets of London were unforgiving for a young musician like you, no room to turn to since others were exactly in the same position as you.

 It was by pure coincidence that the day you had played for a local cafe for a small commission, Graham fucking Coxon was sitting in the back of the run-down joint, sipping a murky glass of Bourbon.

 You didn't notice him at first, of course. You had simply let the music in your mind travel from your head down to your arms, and allowed it to move through your fingertips to your bow. The serene melody that sang through the air had turned his head to face you, the shitty drink in his hand stopped halfway to his mouth. 

 Your solo was only a couple of minutes, but the second you were done and packing your bags to head out, the brunette made a beeline for you, blocking your exit.

 ¨Uh, can I help you?¨ You cock your head and shift your violin case.

 ¨Yes, you can actually. Listen, I know this is gonna sound a bit straightforward, but I really liked your piece. Did you compose it yourself?¨ He sounds quiet and sounds nervous, with him barely looking you in the eyes.

 ¨Yeah, I did!¨ You can´t help but beam-it took you several days just to perfect a few meager lines, but in the end you were content with the piece.

 ¨Wow...that's serious talent right there,¨ He opens the door for you, and you nod before you head out, him trailing behind you as he leaves with you.

 ¨You make a good amount of money doing small jobs like this?¨ His voice is nasally and low, but with a slightly higher pitch than your typical London accent.

 At this, you squint your eyes a bit and turn your head at him. It was nice of him to be interested in your work, but for someone you don't personally know, the idea of talking about your small gigs that merited little to no money was not something you were fond of.

 He senses your hesitancy and immediately withdraws. ¨I´m sorry, that was probably rude of me to be so blunt about it. Actually, I don´t think I´ve properly introduced myself.¨ He stops to face you, and you do the same.

 ¨I´m Graham Coxon. You may or may not have heard of me, but I can assure you that I too enjoy music, as an understatement.¨ He extends a calloused hand and smiles a little bit, adjusting the blocky glasses on his face.

 Graham...Coxon? Graham as in....oh, holy shit.

 ¨No way.¨

 ¨Er...unfortunately, yes way.¨ His soft voice lilts as he holds back a laugh, and you gape at him.

 ¨Oh my god!¨ You drop your violin case in the excitement of eagerly returning his handshake. ¨You-you're from Blur! I know you!¨

 ¨Was from Blur, and ´careful now, don´t wanna ruin your instrument. But listen, I´m kind of in a bind here so I´ll get to the chase. We´re working on a few chords here and there back at the studio, and I´ve been on the lookout for a while for someone who fits our tune. ´Thing is, the deadline for submitting our song is comin´ up fast, so we only have a couple weeks left.¨

 You raise your eyebrows, heart pounding in your chest as you listen to his proposition.

 ¨So I´m thinking, you sound pretty good, it's exactly what we need to fill in our bridge. I´d love it if you came in and played a tune for us. If we like you and you´re cool with it, you could feature on our song.¨

 It feels surreal. Were you hearing right? Graham Coxon from Blur asking you to play on his song? This had to be a prank.

 ¨Ẅait, but you've only heard me once, what if my sound doesn't match what you're actually looking for?¨ You stammer, palms clammy as you wipe them off on your trousers.

 ¨Well, that's what a rehearsal session is for, lovely,¨ He chuckles nervously and slides his slightly foggy glasses up his nose. ¨So, you wanna give it a go?¨

 You think for a moment, biting your lower lip. There wasn't exactly anything stopping you now, was there? I mean, sure, the prospect of playing in front of one of UK's most famous bands was daunting, but this was your chance to finally be recognized!

 Taking a deep breath, you pick up your fallen case and nod. ¨Alright, I´m in. When you do wanna meet up?¨

 Graham visibility deflates in relief, letting out a shaky exhale. ¨Great. I'll text you the time and place, yeah? The boys and I´ve gotta get a few more things set up, so we´ll be in contact soon.¨

You both exchange numbers, your phone tingling in your hand long after you bid farewell and drive home in a buzz.

 When you finally get home to your apartment, you throw your keys onto the counter and flop down onto the mattress. What a fucking day.

 So many thoughts bounce around in your addled head. You want to do well, but obviously you don't have their kind of experience in the industry. Should you play more in tune with their song, or continue with your own sound? An idea pops into your head amidst your lunch, a few hours later. Why not just do some more research on the band themselves? Then you'd know exactly what kind of music they're looking for.

 The boys and I´ve gotta get a few more things set up.

 Oh yeah, who else was in the band? It's not like you didn't know who Blur was at their peak, but you paid more attention to their music rather than their faces. Truthfully, you never really basked in tabloids and newspapers purring about the next big scandal, or the top dogs of Britain´s industry when that stuff was relevant.

 You abandon your pathetic sandwich and make your way to your laptop, sliding into a chair and getting down to business. After a few quick searches, you pull up a couple tabs around the name Blur.

 Graham Coxon- Recovering alcoholic. Big fight with Damon Albarn.

 Alex James- Cute boy turned conservative. Classic case.

 Dave Rowntree- Mainly untouched. Became a successful lawyer. Good for him.

 Damon Albarn- A fucking mess.

 Puffing up your cheeks and putting your hands behind your head, you lean back in your chair. Good god, this man is a wreck. Headlines from decades ago swim in and out of your eyes, loud, obnoxious neon prints of Justine and Damon broken up again? Suede claps back!, or Will the Blur Brothers ever come back to each other? Find out first-hand from Coxon himself!, and worst of all, Albarn relapses again, Damon Albarn from Blur goes head-to-head with Liam and Noel-news flash, the brothers win!

 You think you see something about him and a potential wife and child, and that's when you decide it's time to sleep.

 After all, there's no point in getting caught up in any of their backstories.You were just there to play a solo and get out. Nosing around in their lives was more trouble than what it was worth, anyways.

 Which is exactly what you kept trying to tell yourself as you walked into the modern studio two weeks later, its grey soundproof walls and white floor screaming fancy and rich to you. And fancy and rich didn't come without grit and experience, which you had none of. As if to emphasize your inexperience, you went into the wrong halls twice before you exasperatedly checked your messages with Graham and saw that no, it wasn´t room 311, it was room 113.

 Finally, finally, you came across your designated room. The mahogany door was closed, and you placed a hand on the silver knob. You could faintly hear the sounds of a guitar being played from the inside, and it was curiosity above everything else that compelled you to push it open.

 From behind the clear window that separated the booth from the recording area, you see them. Graham, Damon, and other men you don't recognize are all in the midst of the song, the same song Graham had texted you the PDF of for the violin notes. You sheepishly take a few steps forward and clear your throat to catch the attention of a bald man leaning back against his chair right in front of the glass. He turns around and you give a weak little wave, clutching your case in the other hand. 

 ¨Hey, I´m here for-¨

 ¨-Yeah, yeah, Graham told me all about you. Go on ahead and join in, they just started.¨ He pulls a toothpick out from between his lips and gestures to the door of the divider.

 You feel your heart pounding in your chest as you make your way through the second door, and the second you step inside meekly, Damon and Graham´s eyes are on you.

 Graham continues to play the guitar, only lighting up his eyes and giving you an encouraging nod when you step in, and the other two men on bass and saxophone also give a quick smile in greeting. And Damon…well.

 Damon barely acknowledges you.

 He continues to sing and stare straight ahead at the wall in front of him as if there's an interesting scene being played out on the grey paint.

 You´re unsure of whether to catch his attention and give a proper greeting, but you decide not to as it would interfere with the song. So instead, you quickly grab a nearby chair and stand and set up your rosin and papers.

 Your timing is perfect; the bridge is about to come up. Just to be certain, you look up from your poised position and catch the eyes of most everyone except for Damon´s. They all give you a quick thumbs up or an expectant look for your confirmation of playing.

 And then, it comes. Damon stops singing, and your cue to sweep your bow across the horse hairs of your strings comes.

 Melodious, whole, fulfilling, it was. Graham´s guitar chords harmonized with the tones of your violin, and music that you´ve never dreamed of creating was made by your hands exceptionally. 

 Everyone was in awe of your raw talent, from the way their gazes were rapt onto your bow, moving back and forth,staying still in some highs and whittling away at the lows. You even thought you saw the producer from inside the booth turn his head towards you from the corner of your eye, but you couldn´ be sure.

 Everyone except Damon Albarn.

 The song ended a minute later with the signal of a fading out bass, and then there was silence.

 ¨Right on with that tune.. ´Thought we'd be fucked ova´ if we didn't find someone to take that melody.¨ The bassist with long shaggy hair grinned and you returned one back.

 ¨Yeah, I was kind of hesitant when Graham ´ere told us he found one to take this position on, but I'm pleased.¨ The saxophone player scratched his chin and hummed his agreement. You felt relief.

 Until he spoke.

 ¨Is this your first time playing?¨

 You look incredulously over at him, looking straight on at his face. Sandy hair, lines on his cheeks, slight scruff around his chin, he looked older than his online pictures. 

 ¨Uhh, no?¨ You laugh a little, trying to keep the annoyance out of your voice. ¨If I was, I doubt Graham would think I´m good enough to play with you guys.¨

 ¨I don't think Graham is the only one who needs to think that.¨ Everyone shifts uncomfortably, looking nervously from Damon to you, and Graham tugs his collar as if the temperature had gone up.

 But nonetheless, you don't back down.

 ¨Oh yeah? How so?¨

¨You played the G-string too high,¨ He deadpans, looking utterly bored amidst oceanic hues.

 ¨What?¨ You flip your music pages a couple of times until you find the page where you played that part. ¨No I didn´t, I was right on tune-do you even know how to play the violin?¨

 ¨No,¨ he smirks, and with your blood boiling steadily you open your mouth to argue, but thankfully Graham butts in.

 ¨Damon, don´t be a prick, she played fine. Unlike you, who fucked up on the 5th verse.¨

 The man in question lazily stretches his arms above his head, causing his white tee to rise a few inches over his belly button. You can´t help but glance at the skin-it's smooth, cleanly chiseled with part of his v-line showing, a happy trail rising from the juncture.

 ¨Oi, sweetheart, eyes up here.¨

 You snap your gaze back to his smug face, cheeks burning.

 ¨I didn´t-¨

 ¨Sure you didn´t. Just like how I didn't mess up on the 5th verse, and how you didn't ruin the song with your shitty violin, yeah?¨ He simpers, and you almost rise out of your seat to snarl at him before Graham jumps in between you two, scolding a very inappropriately-grinning Damon.

 You get up out of your chair and huff, shoving your belongings back into your bag as everyone else packs up, the men bickering and playfully throwing shit at each other.

 The producer even congratulates you on your successful first day, and everyone cheers and pounds you on your back, your hair falling in your face and gracefully hiding your 120k watt smile.

 Damon shoulders right past you, knocking your case right out of your hands. You grapple with it for a second before it hits the ground, and when it does you whip around and shoot him an icy glare.

 He's not even looking at you, he's already out the door.

 It's quiet for a moment.

 ¨Well, there he goes again being a dickhead. Classic Damon, you got.¨ The saxophone player points to the leaving blond and grins sheepishly at you.

 ¨What's his problem?¨ You ask in disgust, shaking your head as you join the rest of the boys leaving.

¨Uh, well...¨ Graham scratches the back of his head and avoids looking at you. ¨He's always been kind of like that, y´know, so don't take it too personally, but between just us four, his wife´s been on his arse for a bit about um...some...domestic affairs.¨ He finishes lamely, and the other two men guffaw at your raised eyebrow.

 You don't have a chance to press further as to ask what domestic affairs, exactly because a loud clap of thunder shakes you all to your cores as you step outside.

 ¨Aw, come on!¨ You stamp your foot and hold out your hand for confirmation of the raindrops about to drop on you all. ¨I didn't know it was gonna rain today,¨ you grumble.

 Graham squints up at the sky and wipes some droplets off his blurred glasses, covering his head with his jacket hood as he begins walking to the parking garage. ¨I´ll see you lot in about a week, yeah? Just keep practicing, good rehearsal we had today!¨ He waves his hand and dashes off.

 ¨Good job on your first day, Y/N. Fancy the weather on your walk back for us!¨ The sax and bass player bid farewell and also do a sprint to their respective cars, splashing through the puddles and sending muddy water on your pants.

 ¨Urgh!¨ You raise your hands to try and protect your bottoms but to no avail- London's sewage strikes again.

 Sighing in defeat, you walk through the rain towards your car, succumbing to the grimy walk. Unfortunately you didn't think to use the parking garage due to high nerves when you first came in.

 You walk for about 5 minutes, the rain drenching your hair and clothes and chilling you to your bones.

 Could this day get any more annoying?

Oh, but you should´ve known that it could.

 Because right at that moment, a black limo swerves right next to you on the sidewalk, sending a massive wave of gutter water right your way.

 You swear loudly and jump back, barely managing to avoid the remnants of the sewage tsunami crossing your feet.

 Looking up wildly at the offensive vehicle, you make a fist and flip the window off, your lip curled up into a snarl.

 The obsidian glass rolls down.

 ¨Well that's not very nice, is it? Nasty weather we got going on right now, careful it doesn't get on your clothes.¨

 Oh.

 ¨It's you,¨ you monotone, less than pleased to see his salacious grin at your predicament-which was being soaked to your undergarments in brown muddy water, your hair clinging to your face and your violin case lugging down towards the ground, its weight proving mutiny against you today of all days.

 ¨In the flesh,¨ Damon beams, and you scowl at his cheery attitude.

 ¨You almost drowned me, asshole,¨ You turn your nose up in scorn, and he chuckles in his baritone voice.

 ¨Nah, cant´ve love, I can't drive,¨ he clicks his tongue and jerks his thumb to the seat in front of him, where you assume his chauffeur is.

 ¨Oh, so it was under your orders that your poor driver practically waterboarded me?¨ ¨Well, yeah, I mean what else do you expect me to do when I see a pretty lady walking so harmlessly in the rain?¨ Your voice catches in your throat for a second from his words and the way his glacial eyes twinkle for a moment, but then he erupts in dry chuckles at your demeanor and you throttle your hesitancy at speaking.

 ¨Shut up, you're absolutely vile, y´know that?¨ ¨So I´ve been told, but to be honest sweetheart, I´d rather hear that in bed, where I´m used to hearing it. Now are you going to get in or shall I talk about my sexual prowess with you the rest of the afternoon?¨ He opens his door from the inside and mockingly winks at you.

 You feign a gag, but still decide to jump in the spacious limo when a flash of lightning lights up the sky. 

 He scoots back to give you space to sit and adjust your violin case on the seats in front of you, but just as you´re about to close the door, he leans in right next to you and reaches behind you to pull it shut himself.

 You´re caught still as he draws close, you´re extended hand frozen in midair as his arm against your back flexes and stiffens with it pulling the door. You can feel his breath against your neck as he exhales, can feel some of his hair tickling against your ear and cheek. You hold your breath, not daring to move lest you accidentally brush up against his proximity.

 The loud slam of the door causes you to jump, and he laughs a little at that, signaling his driver to go.

 You don't quite face him, your gaze down in your lap as his entire body is facing you, still stuck in its position when he was closing the car door.

 ¨Not nervous, are you?¨ He murmurs in your ear, and you can´t help it when your whole body shivers at feeling the rumble in his gravelly voice.

 ¨N-no, I´m not. Do you have to be so close?¨ You stammer, barely giving him a sideways glance which eggs him on, much to your displeasure.

 ¨Not really. But if you´re not nervous, then it shouldn't be a problem, right?¨ He says quietly and leans around to catch your eye.

 Before you can lose your nerve and jump out of the car, you snap at him. ¨You just don´t quit, do you?¨ 

 He finally relents and the side of his pink lips lift lazily as he stretches his knees out and practically manspreads across the expanse of three seats. ¨Nope. Not that you really were against it though, ´could feel your heart pounding a mile a minute sweetheart. Trust me, I´m used to making girls nervous, I would know.¨

 You sneer at him. ¨Don´t call me sweetheart, and yeah, I was nervous about getting some disease-ridden prick like you getting close to me. God knows how many STD´s you've contracted from bedding some poor groupies.¨

¨Only one way to find out, right love?¨ He leans his head up to the car ceiling and lets his tousled golden hair flop back, his jawline accentuated by the cream-colored seats contrasting with his tan skin.

 You catch yourself staring, and shake your head quickly.

 ¨You must´ve been more hopped up on heroine than I thought if you think I´d ever fuck a self-absorbed, narcissitic bastard like you.¨

 The words leave your mouth before you can stop them, but once they do your eyes widen and you clap a hand over your mouth in horror.

 Damon lifts his head and slowly turns to face you, his mouth set in a thin line.

 ¨A self-absorbed, narcissistic bastard whose limo you're riding in, need I remind you, so I can´t be all that bad. ´Can't say I haven't heard any of that before love, but most girls who say that end up in my bed anyways.¨

 You open your mouth to argue but he cuts you off.

 ¨Although, ´hopped up on heroin´ is a new one. Just exactly how much research have you done about me so far?¨

 Your rebuttal dies in your throat. You were caught.

 Your ears burn and your face flushes as you bite your lip in embarrassment. Maybe you went too far, and on top of that you let it slip that you knew about him beforehand.

 But you refuse to kowtow in humiliation to this idiot, so you think quickly.

 ¨I doubt you´ve got your head that far up your ass to disregard how half the world was tuning into your personal life when Blur was big, Damon.¨

He looks unimpressed with your excuse, but before he can open his mouth to question you further, you hurry up with another save.

 ¨Also, where are we going? You never asked me where my car was.¨

Bingo His eyes brighten and he shouts at the driver, harping on about him being a brain-dead idiot for driving in circles the past 10 minutes.

 What a save.

 *******************

The moment you step into the booth next week, a drumstick is lobbed at you from seemingly nowhere. You yelp and hold your case up, blocking the weapon as it bounces off your makeshift shield. You bring the case down and shoot a glare towards the only man you know capable of acting so childishly at his grown age.

 But he´s already scrolling through his phone, looking for a measure to start from.

 ¨You´re late.¨

 ¨Hardly,¨ you mutter, glancing at the clock on the wall. Two minutes past shouldn´t be an excuse for having a drumstick pick out your eye.

 ¨Good to see you again, Y/N,¨ Graham pipes up softly, sending you an apologetic glance from Damon to you and you stick out your tongue in faux annoyance. 

 The other two members of your group greet you as well, and you all begin practice. Notes begin harmonizing together, voice and sound coinciding to make music you´ve swayed your hips and nodded your head to on blue nights.

 It´s a hot day, humidity clinging to your skin akin to the perspiration hanging off your forehead, and halfway through the song you decide to take off your sweater. You´re wearing a white tank top underneath, nothing too revealing save for the slight dip in the V-neck, but you couldn't care less about modesty at the moment when your fingers were literally slipping in their grasp on your sweat-slicked bow.

 During a quick break in your part of the song, you slip off your sweater and fan yourself out. It feels good, but you feel a pair of eyes staring at you. Following the laser gaze, you turn your head to face Damon, but he´s nose-deep in the lyrics sheet, warbling about a broken love or friendship. 

 Huh, must´ve been imagining it.

 Your solo comes up, and you prepare yourself for tackling the notes to your best ability, keeping up with Graham´s rapid guitar pace. Sweat continues to build on everyone´s vicinity when the rapid movement of arms waving around their own instrument causes more body heat to suffocate you all.

 Miraculously, the song finishes, and you collapse in your seat like the rest of the men, panting and wiping slick off your foreheads. You reach for a bottle of water on the floor and unscrew the lid, grimacing at its lukewarm temperature but drinking it nonetheless.

 For the second time, you have an unnerving feeling of being watched. This time, you whip your head to the side and catch him staring straight at you. 

 Damon´s face is flushed, his hair tousled, his rose colored glasses steamed up from the muggy aura in the room. His denim jacket is hanging off one shoulder, the rest of his torso covered with a sheer wife beater that accentuates his chiseled dad-body.

But he just stares you down, saying nothing. You frown at him a little bit and shift your body away from him, feeling vulnerable to his laser-gaze. His eyes darken, but Graham speaks, cutting him off from whatever he was about to say.

 ¨That was pretty good, you lot. Greg, Taz, hold off on the third beat of the fourth measure. We´ve gotta crescendo slightly-¨

 ¨Y/N, do you have a job?¨

 Damon's voice cuts off Graham, and everyone falters as they look at him and then you in surprise.

 ¨I don´t know what you mean,¨ you respond coolly, knowing that whatever he was about to say wasn't good.

 ¨I mean, do you have a job? Because as far as I know, most people who work don't dress like whores at their job.¨

 His eyes travel from your face down to your slight cleavage, and you sputter in rage as the rest of the boys shift uncomfortably.

 ¨Damon, for god's sake what´re you on about?¨ Graham asks wearily, taking his glasses off and rubbing his shiny neck.

 ¨I could ask you the same thing, actually. Because as far as I know, you've fucked enough women in your lifetime that one would think you could keep it in your pants for five minutes without acting like a twelve-year-old. Oh, but unless that´s too professional for you? I guess you´re not as serious about your work environment as you claim.¨ you laugh, and the sax player, Greg, snorts into his water bottle.

 Damon sneers, ¨How could I forget, you actually have done your research about my life and sexual endeavors, what a cute little fangirl you are. If you wanted an autograph, you could've just asked, sweetheart.¨

 ¨Go fuck yourself,¨ you snap. ¨You´re all wearing wife-beaters anyways, what's the difference?¨

 Damon starts again but Graham claps his hands loudly, startling you all.

 ¨Enough, both of you! What's gotten into you? Need I remind you that our song is due in less than two weeks? We need to finish this shit and get on with it. Stop acting like children.¨

 You mumble under your breath and Damon shoots a dark look to his childhood friend, but the brunette doesn't back down, and continues to give advice on how to improve their song. You don´t look at Damon the rest of the session out of pure spite, but that doesn't stop him from shamelessly staring straight at you, right until it's time to leave.

 The second Graham checks his watch and exclaims that it's a quarter past twelve already, you´re already bolting out of your seat and shoving your violin in its case, eager to get out of the disgustingly hot room.

 Fortunately, this time you had the right idea to park in the garage like everyone else to avoid any other unwanted encounters, but unfortunately while it was nice to not be waterboarded on your walk, it wasn´t enough to stop said unwanted encounters from occurring.

 Take right now, for instance.

 As you stumble to your car in the blistering weather, your energy depletes faster and faster, causing you to be light headed. Practice was already tough enough in the sweltering heat, but after Damon's little scene you don't have any energy to even walk.

 You crash blindly into your car, the metal of the doors burning your skin as you make contact with the handle. You hiss and jerk back, swaying slightly as your head fogs up. You can barely see, you feel like your clothes weigh a ton on you, so you slide down the vehicle and sit up against the tires, throwing your head back against the car and groaning. The idea of unlocking your doors and sitting in the seat where no doubt several temperatures higher will be settling on the dashboard and in the front row is nauseating.

 Weather-2

You-0

 You don't know the building well enough to know where a vending machine is, and even if you shot Graham a text, you don't have enough energy to wander around and scout for it.

 And lo and behold, from a distance, a figure approaches. You squint as it draws nearer, and let out a laugh as the features come into familiarity.

 The heat must be getting to you worse than you thought, because you´re certain you´re hallucinating Damon Albarn of all fucking people swaggering towards you, one hand holding his denim jacket over his shoulder, and a shit-eating grin on his face as he comes to stand in front of you.

 All you can do is pant like a dog, looking up at him with unimpressed eyes.

 ¨Oi, G-String. ´Brought you some water.¨ he holds out a hand, and you choose to ignore the offensive nickname, insead noticing the large bottle in it, cold condensation covering its expanse.

 Your eyes widen and you lick your lips unconsciously, holding your hands out for it.

 Damon watches your tongue poke out and loses focus before snapping back to reality and moving his arm above your head. You pout and try to reach for it again, but he laughs and holds it even higher.

 You glare and turn your head away from him, suddenly remembering how he embarrassed you earlier. 

 ¨Go away. I don't want it anymore. You´re an asshole.¨ you mumble, perspiration hanging off your lip as you lick the salty beads away once again.

 Damon´s eyes never leave your mouth as he listens to you and watches the pink appendage make its appearance again, and his mouth hangs open slightly unbeknownst to you for a second. You cross your arms and glare at the empty parking lot, silently willing him to go away.

 He snaps back into focus yet again and shakes his head at you. ¨Oh come on love, I´m just teasing. You look like you´re about to die anyways, might as well make this your last meal-er, drink I mean.¨

 ¨I´m not taking anything from a complete dickhead who enjoys harassing women about their clothes. You know, for such a womanizer, you act pretty clueless about how comments like that would make a girl feel. No one else but you had an issue with it, or rather, had the audacity to point it out.¨ You cough at the last word, your dry throat and heavy head making it harder to talk.

 He sighs and crouches down, balancing on the balls of his feet. He pops open the cap and gently turns your chin towards his face, much to your surprise. You´re genuinely too weak to protest, but when you look at his concerned face, eyebrows scrunched up and accentuating the lines on his forehead, you don't think you'd want to turn away even if you could.

 He coaxes your agap mouth even more open by dragging a rough thumb down over your lips, and you obediently open your mouth, mesmerized by his eyes. His movements are soft and slow, as if you were a fidgety rabbit about to run off at the slightest touch. He scoots closer, right over in front of you as you simply gaze up at him, allowing him to pour cool water down your throat, quenching your bone-dry palate.

 For a couple of seconds, water floods your mouth but all you can do is stare up at him. The light rays are reflecting off his back, casting a yellow glow around his silhouette and he almost looks like an angel. His hair is mussed as if he'd spent the day running his hands through the golden locks, and the scruff on his face peeks through soft-looking skin.

 ¨Swallow, or I'll really waterboard you this time,¨ he says lowly, chuckling a bit as he catches you staring so adamantly right in his face. You jerk back to consciousness and swallow hastily, accidentally choking on the gulp in your rush.

 He laughs even more and lets go of your chin much to your disappointment as he adjusts himself to sit next to you, not seeming to mind the scorching car metal. The absence of his hand on your face leaves a cold, empty feeling in your heart despite the heated blush on your cheeks

 ¨You´ll burn yourself,¨ you mumble, lolling your head over to look at him.

 But he looks straight ahead and shrugs casually. ¨Not any more than you.¨ You both sit in silence for a few minutes, occasionally sipping from the bottle he passes towards you and watching cars go by.

 ¨You didn't answer my question. Why do you harp on me in the studio? You act like a normal human being here.¨

 Damon looks thoughtfully at a white sedan passing by, then speaks.

 ¨As I´m sure Graham has blabbed to you already, I´ve been having some...trouble with the missus, let's say.¨

 You say nothing and raise a questioning eyebrow.

 ¨For the shitty attitude,¨ he mutters and swipes the bottle from your hand, taking a large swig himself.

 ¨And, like you said earlier, I am an asshole. Of course I´ll enjoy harassing pretty women over their revealing clothes,¨ he smirks and gives you a once over.

 There it was again, pretty woman.

 You scowl and get up to leave, but what he says stops you in your tracks.

 ¨Taz was lookin´ at you,¨ he says quietly, suddenly very interested in the now-empty bottle. ¨´Didn't like it, but I couldn't say anything to him. Graham likes him too much.¨

 Huh. Maybe the pair of eyes you felt back in the room didn't only belong to Damon.

 He cracks a small smile and looks up at you, his face adorably innocent and wide as he sheepishly admits, ¨I´m used to butting heads with blokes like him for women.¨

 You jerk back up to your feet, brushing off any insinuation he was giving and pat his knee awkwardly, ignoring the fire now igniting once again in your chest.

 ¨Thanks for the water, I needed it. You might wanna move if you don't want to get run over by my car.¨ You reach down and pick up your case as Damon clambers to his feet.

 He looks amused as you fumble for your keys, nervously turning the lock and sitting in the hot car, obviously eager to get away from his intimidating gaze.

 ¨I´ll see you next week, yeah?¨ You laugh breathlessly and roll your window down to call out to him.

 He says nothing, but merely cocks his head at you, his eyes now obscured by the rose-colored glasses he puts over his eyes. He waves a little and watches as you drive away a little too fast.

 But as it turns out, you don't see him next week.

 ******

It was just your luck that one of the cutest guys from your work asked you out on the very same week you had practice with the boys. You contemplated moving the date to another time, but...you deserved to have some fun time off too, right? It's not like it would make too much of a difference in your skill, anyways, you´ve gotten all the strings down and such.

 So, you decide to go on this date. It goes well, the dude was cute, dorky, lacked a little pizzazz but nothing a bottle of fancy red wine and a night of movies couldn´t coax out of him. It honestly wasn't anything too big, you exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up again soon. After parting ways, you threw yourself back into the regular regime of practicing your violin and meticulously listening to the booth recording every night, just so you could perfect your part to a T.

 The day came where you had to go back to practice, and you were ready, veins pumping with determination to make these last few sessions the best you´ve played yet. You texted Graham that you´d be there soon, and he gave you a thumbs up in return. When you finally arrived in front of the room, you were 10 minutes late. The boys were already playing, by the sound of the percussion booming outside the door. You grimace and take a deep breath, turning the handle in and hurrying inside the booth.

 No one really spared a glance at you, so you assumed you were okay in terms of punctuality. You opened your case and started strumming your strings, counting the measures and beats until it was your turn. Damon´s voice rang out, melodious and airy as ever, dropping octaves and floating on soprano tones. Your bow moved across his words, accenting his tones and adding emphasis to his sorrowful song. And then, after a couple of minutes, it was done.

 ¨Alright you lot, pretty good for today. ´Specially you, Y/N, you caught up pretty quick, I expected you to slack behind but I'm actually impressed.¨ Graham flashed you a nervous grin and you beamed back at him in return.

 ¨Yeah, speaking of, why were you gone last week? I expected someone who makes below the poverty line would actually want to work for their money,¨ Damon chuckles a little meanly.

 You feel your smile drop a smidge.

 ¨Well actually Damon, not that it's any of your business, but I went on a date.¨ You smirk at him, enjoying the way his mouth opens slightly and moves silently.

 But he regroups quickly and glares at you. ¨None of my business? The deadline is only a few days away, and you´re whoring yourself out and going on dates? I guess you´re not as professional as Graham thought.¨

 Everyone shifts uncomfortably, and blood rushes to your face, anger clouding your mind. Why was he being like this? He was fine the last time you saw him, you actually thought maybe he was going to change the way he addressed you.

  Graham speaks up. ¨Damon. You´re overreacting man, I gave her the okay, and she played fine today. No harm done, seriously, there's no need for that kind of language towards her.¨

 ¨Actually, there absolutely is a need. If I knew you were going to invite a prostitute as our sub-in then I would´ve never agreed to have her here. Didn´t know you were so low on money Y/N, I would´ve spared you a couple pounds.¨ He sneers.

 ¨Damon!¨

 You laugh bitterly and rise to your feet. ¨Oh that's rich, coming from the man who fucked half the continent just because he couldn't get over one girl. No wonder every real woman in your life including your wife wants to leave, nothing is ever good enough for you. Except heroin maybe.¨

 The words leave your mouth before you can take them back, and there's a pin drop silence as if a bomb had been dropped. In a way, it kind of did.

 Damo glares at you. Everyone is holding your breath, including you.

 ¨Get out.¨

 ¨Hey,-¨ Taz tries to gently interject but Damon throws the mic at him. 

 ¨I said get the fuck out. You´re not practicing with us anymore, you can pack your shit and leave.¨

 Tears brim at the corners of your eyes, and you choke out a small ¨Fine.¨

 You hear Graham berating him behind you as you fly through the door, telling him that they need you, it's too late to change people, but the words jumble in your ears as the door slams shut. You don't hear what Damon says, if he even says anything, and you aren't interested in his comebacks right now.

 It's only when you leave the car, tears streaming down your face in rage and embarrassment that you groan to yourself, your hands reaching an empty seat with one foot out the door-

You forgot your violin case.

 ************

 It's nighttime.

 The crickets chirp as you creep silently through the parking garage, the soft thud of your shoes echoing a lot louder than you wanted in the empty lot. The studio itself wasn't closed, but you were sure Damon must have informed the manager there not to let an ex-musician like you back in there.

 Wearing a black hoodie and black pants was a smart move- you blended in with the shadows well. The doors weren't locked, and you hiss out a small ¨yesss¨ as you slip inside the mostly dark building. Needless to say, you were proud of yourself for navigating through the windings pitch-black hallways to your old booth.

 Testing the handle lightly, you sigh out in relief when that too gives way. Unfortunately though, the second the door shuts behind you, you immediately stumble forward and fall. 

 The room is dark, darker than the other hallways so you can barely see your hands. The only source of light you´re granted is the dim red bulb on top of the booth door. And speaking of, that's exactly where you need to go...which proves to be harder when you keep bumping into random shit and cursing when you feel potential bruises forming on your shins.

 Miraculously you stagger through the next door towards where you last sat, and blindly feel around the floor and chairs for your violin case. You feel nothing there, but panic starts settling in your heart when you can't find it.

 ¨Looking for something?¨

 You scream and lurch backwards, knocking your head into some kind of stand. Groaning, you rub your head and hold a hand on your racing heart as you squint into the dim red room, placing the voice to the person.

 ¨D-Damon?¨ 

 ¨In the flesh sweetheart. ´Knew you'd come back for this, s´just my luck I came back to get it tonight so I could give it to you personally in case you wanted to be stubborn. But this is even better than I could´ve hoped.¨

 You make out his silhouette in the obsidian abyss in front of you. He's sitting with knees spread on a chair, a few feet in front of you as he leans his head back on the wall. Your precious violin case is being held hostage in his arms, and it's the absolute love you have for the brittle instrument that propels you to your feet and moves you to get the hell out instead of interrogating him.

 ¨What, so you were just here the whole time listening to me falling around like an idiot?” You laugh incredulously, and you see the area of his shoulders move up and down.

 ¨Was pretty funny to watch, honestly. You sound cute when you curse.¨ He stands up to his fullest height now, the red light bouncing off his back, giving him a sort of demonic halo.

 You knew it was actually time to leave when you felt those stupid butterflies in your stomach rise up again.

¨Right, well, I´ll be on my way then. Good luck with your song and whatever, I´ll just take the case...¨ You trail off as your extended hand is left in midair, no violin case reaching it.

 He cocks his head at you. ¨Why are you in such a rush to leave?¨

 You can´t help the scoff that escapes you. 

 ¨Are you serious? You were such an absolute dickhead to me this afternoon, you said all sorts of horrible things to me, and you even fired me for Christ's sake! I want nothing to do with you, so could you please give me my case back so I can go?¨

 He's silent for a moment before answering. ¨Are you done yet?¨

 It isn´t just the light that's making you see red now.

 ¨Fuck you, honestly.¨ You whirl around and stomp towards where you guess the  door is, ignoring the clatter behind you and bingo you locate the handle, but as soon as you turn it-

 A hand reaches from behind you and pulls the ajar door shut.

 ¨Don´t go. I´m sorry.¨

 You´re absolutely still as you feel him towering over you, his arm dangerously close to your midriff as his hand remains on the knob.

 His voice is low, and you can feel him breathe against your neck, mere inches away. You can´t help the involuntary shiver that passes through you, and he feels it too, inhaling deeply when he gets close to your ear.

 ¨You smell so good.¨

 ¨Leave me alone, Damon,¨ you whisper, your voice catching in your throat from the overwhelming onslaught of emotions passing through you.

 He breaths in and slowly lets his hand rest on your side.

 ¨I can't do that. You know why. You have to have known by now.¨

 You tremble in his touch, yet allow his hands to wander down to your hip, the other coming around in a sort of hug to pull you closer to him.

 ¨We can´t.¨

 ¨Sure we can.¨

 You can feel his erection bumping against your ass.

 ¨You´re not worth this.¨

 ¨I´ll make myself worth it.¨

 And as soon as he latches onto the back of your neck, you´re like putty in his hands, a moaning mess as he sucks galaxy-colored hickies on your skin. You can feel yourself grow wetter as he shoves his hands up your shirt and teasingly pulls down the bridge of your bra, letting the weight of your tits fill up his hands appreciatively. He starts rolling your hardened buds in between his skilled calloused fingers, and you whine and throw your head back when you feel him rut against your ass, panting raggedly in your ear.

 You rub your thighs together, desperate for some form of friction as he squeezes your tits, and then letting one hand ghost across the expanse of your stomach, down to brush against the rim of your panties. Damon chuckles meanly in your ear when you buck against the stilled hand over your mound.

 ¨You want this?¨ He lightly nips your ear. He smells like old spice and sandalwood.

 You nod desperately, frustrated with him not giving you his thick fingers already.

 But it's not enough for him. ¨No no, pretty girl, use your words now. I´ve barely touched you yet and you´re already moaning like a wanton little slut for me? And here I was thinking you weren't that easy.¨

 You stop jerking your hips and blood rushes to your face at his insulting words. You try to move out of his grip, huffing and regretting the whole thing but he outright laughs now and spins you around, tugging you forward until your chest is slotted against his. You pout at him and look away, but he's quick to grasp your chin and pull you in for a rough yet sensual kiss.

Pushing you backwards against the wall, he deepens the lip-lock, tracing his tongue over your lips, nipping at the soft flesh and darkening his eyes when you whimper and look up at him.

 He knows what he´s fucking doing when he again drops his hand under your pants and over your panties, his other palm wound up firmly through your hair. He pulls your head back and lets you breathe for a second from his kiss of death before he speaks again.

 ¨I didn't hear an answer, slut. Do you want this?¨ He leans forward until his nose brushes against your neck, flicking his tongue out to taste your saccharine flesh.

 You tremble against his firm body when he pushes his pelvis against you, letting you feel how hard he is for you.

 It doesn't matter anymore. Maybe he was right, maybe you were just an easy slut putting up a facade for him, but when his clothes erection grinds up against your pussy you can't care less.

 ¨Y-yes, yes, ´want you, please,¨ you pant, frantically gripping the back of his cropped hair as his head descends to mark your neck again.

 ¨What a good girl,¨ he whispers, finally allowing his digits to oh-so-slowly trace over your mound, pressing down harder when you jerk against him. He finds your wet clit and flicks it a few times, snickering when you gasp and moan. Your body writhes in place but he holds you literally between a rock-or, wall- and a hard place, preventing you from scampering off.

 He drums his fingers against your folds, paying no attention to the way you grip his head tighter against you, silently begging him to go further.

 But he relents eventually and retires from just pushing and prodding your folds, allowing his slicked fingers to slowly dive into your drooling hole. You whimper and bite back a string of curses when you feel him fill you completely, scraping against your walls for that one special spot.

 His mouth moves off your neck and he rises to face you, a stupid smug grin on his wet lips, his eyelids lowered and trained on you. You flush at his lustful expression and gently push his head away, not wanting to accept his victory yet.

 ¨My fingers are literally fucking you right now, and you still won´t let me look at you? What, too embarrassed you couldn't continue being a stone-cold bitch for long?¨

 You open your mouth to snap back but right at that moment he curls his fingers and grazes your G-spot, simultaneously grounding his wet palm against your clit.

 With a loud gasp and the sluttiest moan you´ve ever made, you cum hard, your mouth open in a silent scream and your tongue hanging out like a bitch in heat as you do so. You fall forward against him.

 You don't even need to look up to know that he has a shit-eating grin on his face.

 ¨What was that sweetheart? Sorry, ´couldn't hear you over those slutty moans. I think even the pornstars I´ve been with would give you a standing ovation if they heard what you just sounded like.¨

 Your words are slurred as you curse nonsense at him, yet you´re still gripping his forearms to keep a hold on yourself. Your ears are ringing and you see spots as you come down from your climax, and surprisingly enough, Damon holds you close and doesn't let you slip down to the ground as you expected to when your knees start to give out.

 Instead, he lifts you up quite easily and carries you over to a table in the corner of the room. You don´t know how he even navigates his way through the dimly lit room, but you suppose after almost half a lifetime in studios he knows his way around.

 You offer no resistance as he sets you down gently and begins to lift your shirt off of your body. You manage to lift your arms weakly up in the air for easier access to stripping, but when he starts to kneel down to take your pants off you stop his hands at your knees and look at him with scrunched eyebrows.

 He stops and looks up at you. His eyes aren't so darkened anymore, they´re wide and imploring, probably noticing your hesitation.

 ¨Damon, I...¨ You trail off as he maintains eye contact with you and slowly lowers his pursed lips to your calf, lightly pecking his way up to your knees and ensuring that you´re watching his every move.

 Your breathing increases again as his pink appendage darts out, his saliva cooling on your exposed thighs. He sucks on the plush skin and turns his head upwards to face you.

 You want to run your hands through his hair.

 ¨You have a wife,¨ You breathe.

 ¨Not for tonight I don´t.¨

 Your voice gets caught in your throat at that. He positions his hands at the side of your knees, fingers curling around the hem of your pants in a second attempt.

 ¨Let me make you feel good, love.¨

His answer is in the form of your hand reaching for his collar and pulling him up into a standing position until he towers over your seated form, once again breath stolen in a heated kiss.

 Damon fumbles with his zipper as you shove your pants off, fully ready for him now, your dampened panties solid evidence of your need for him.

 He pulls his cock out and it bounces out, slapping up against his stomach.

 You do a double take. The tabloids were right. He was absolutely huge.

 It was disgusting almost, it was insulting really. How the fuck could he be that big? You lose count of how many inches he is when you start to get light headed, realizing with a jolt that he plans to put that monster inside you.

 And fuck, why did it have to be so pretty too? Normally you wouldn´t use the word pretty to describe a dick, but fuck, that´s the only appropriate word that came to mind as you admired the white flesh as it mixed in with a dull pink flush turning into an angry shade of red as your eyes progressed up to his tip...which was soaked with precum, mind you.

 He was neatly shaven everywhere, including his plush balls. No wonder he got to fuck half the continent.

 Damon notices your gawking and smiles lazily, taking a fist around his prick and stroking lethargically up and down.

 ¨You gonna just stare at it all day or are you going to spread those cute legs for me?¨

 Spoken like a true middle aged fuck-boyman.

 You look up at him beseechingly, thoroughly intimidated by his length. He merely scoffs, winking at you when he wrenches your tightly closed knees apart.

 It's almost like he falls into a trance when he presses his now-naked torso against your chest, when he slots himself between your legs and drags his tip through your sloppy folds and up onto your clit. His mouth falls open slightly and he moans when your juices coat his dick, making it slippery and easy to push the first few inches ever so slightly into your spasming cavern.

 He can't help but want more, need more as he practically smothers his weight onto you, forcing you to lie back on the table and letting your legs dangle off the edge. He hunches over you and thrusts minutely into your pulsing folds, groaning when you whine and lace your fingers around his neck and tangle your legs around his back, dragging him impossibly close into you.

 For a moment it´s just the sound of you two panting and moaning like inexperienced teenagers, and a zing of pride zips up your spine at the realization that Damon Albarn, one of the world's most renowned playboy is whining and humping against your pussy, reduced to nothing at your hands.

 He takes your hands from around his neck and grips your wrists, forcing them above your head on the table. He leans down and kisses you, hard. You give him back the same energy when your hips move up and down along his length, pushing your inviting hole towards his eager and jumping dick.

 ¨Pretty little girl,¨ he murmurs against your lips, and you nip his bottom lip playfully in retaliation. He slowly starts to sink himself into you, and you practically purr at the feeling of his veiny member dragging against your sensitive walls until he stops. 

 You look at him questioningly, and blanch when you see the mischievous glint in his cobalt eyes.

 ¨I want you to count for me.¨

¨Count…?¨ You shake your head in confusion and he pulls out, making you groan in annoyance.

 ¨I want you to count every inch I put inside you. Unless your slutty mouth can't even do that? I'd be surprised if you couldn´t, you usually have so much shit to say.¨ His voice is low yet teasing, and a shiver passes through you when the rumble of his chest vibrates against your nipples.

 ¨F-fine, I´ll count.¨

 He hums in approval and regroups, guiding his length into your awaiting pussy once again.

 It´s almsot torture how slow he goes, and your toes curl at how vivid the sensation is at this pace.

 You almost forget to do what he asks until he ducks his head down and teeths your bud.

 ¨Ah, fuck! One!¨ You yelp, writhing to get away from his lecherous gaze and hold on your poor tit.

 He tuts and licks the swollen area until the pain subsides a bit, and then he continues to push.

 ¨T-two,¨ you moan and let your head fall back. It's unfair how tightly he´s holding your reins-you want him to plow you down, not take his sweet time in this punishment.

 ¨Damon, can´t you go any faster? Please, I want y-¨

¨-I didn't take you for a masochist, Y/N, but I´m happy to play around with these cute tits if you want to bitch more.¨

Your scowl is cut off when he suddenly shoves two more inches into you, and you mewl loudly at being filled so much.

 ¨Three! Four! Fuck, oh god, please,¨ you babble nonsense as he curses above you, his form shaking in an effort not to push all the way in.

 ¨Doing so good sweetheart, you´re almost halfway,¨ he smirks and you gape at him in disbelief.

 Halfway?

 Five, six, seven, eight, and nine go painfully slow, and by the time he´s fully sheathed inside you, plush balls pressed against your ass, you´re an incoherent, drooling mess.

 Your hair is in your face, your cheeks are flushed, and your body bounces up and down as he begins to rock inside you, finally giving you what you want.

 His name is chanted like an obscene prayer from your mouth as he grunts and shakes the table. Your legs are wobbly and unable to do anything except press him tighter against you to the point where he can barely move back. The skin of his stomach slaps against yours, his balls slap against the crevice of your ass, and your pussy practically sloshes with every stroke in and out.

 He fists your hair with one hand and pulls your neck up to meet his searching lips, his other hand holds your wrists fast against the table. You want to touch him, you want to explore your body as he has conquered yours but he doesn't let you feel anything else apart from the rapid thrusts inside your battered body.

 Damon switches positions and lifts the back of your knees up and pushes them forwards until they meet your chest. He lets his body weight rest on the back of your thighs as he pulls out and pushes back impossibly close inside you, closer than he did in missionary. 

 You sob with need as he plunges into you and reaches a higher spot than before, his tip grazing your cervix. He pounds into you, and you thrust your hips up to fuck back into him, calling out his name as if he were your god.

 It´s a good thing the rooms are soundproof.

 You feel your second climax comes when he paves way through your tight walls and batters your uterus. It doesn´t hurt so much as feel intense, and your choked moans become panting gasps when he brings a hand down to swirl his thumb over your aching clit.

 ¨You´re not going to meet with that prick from your work again, yeah? Say it. Say it if you want me to let you cum.¨ He could have been speaking an alien language for all you knew. Your poor addled brain didn't pick up anything except for the word ¨cum¨, and you were a goner.

 ¨Yes, yes, anything you say, anything you want, just please let me-¨

And oh he does.

 It comes over you like a tidal wave, your mind going blank, your eyes seeing white as your legs shake from your earth-shattering orgasm. You feel like you´re going down a rollercoaster, and you never want to stop dropping.

 Distantly, you hear him groan and say your name. You can feel pulsing in your filled walls, with what you assume is his ropes of cum. It feels like when you came, it practically squeezed all his cum out with your clenching.

 He lets out a shaky breath and falls forward, his nose inches from yours, his breath puffing in your face.

 Your eyes are glazed over, but you´ve never seen anything more clearly before.

 Maybe Damon Albarn really was worth it.

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Okay so your post about privacy & implied voyeurism in lbd was super interesting to read and not something I consciously realised the last time I watched them (also a few years ago).

Can I ask how /you/ would have done lbd to better fit with the public/private spheres thing?

This is a really interesting ask, thanks! And yeah it's very, like... I'm hyper aware of it bc I have an intense predisposition towards secondhand embarrassment and I kept being like "wow i would physically murder lizzie bennet if she put this private conversation on the internet."

I chewed on this for a while and I'm not sure how it could be approached differently. I think having it as a public vlog is kind of the first misstep, because Lizzie just... Wouldn't air her or her family's dirty laundry like that. Maybe a video diary would be more appropriate, or a mix of vlogs and diaries to separate like "this is the sanitized public part" vs "this is her private thoughts and feelings." To which I think cutting the fourth-wall-break stuff would be a better compliment (ie the way they did Q+As with actual irl commenters and like acknowledged the viewer all the time) so it's not like "well why is she posting her diary publicly??" OR if you want to be really messy about it have the private ones posted by Lydia bc she's mad at Lizzie or thinks it's funny (which would also be in character for her! Lydia has NO compunctious about what she exposes to the public lmao)

I do also think, frankly, that an interesting way to approach an adaptation if you ARE going to be clever and internetty about it would be to utilize the hell out of intertextuality (which I think they did to a degree when it was being posted, by having simultaneous tweets from characters accounts and everything; the weakness is obvious bc that requires the viewer to be experiencing it in real time, but whatever) and to just... Leave some things out. It's a well known story, and you don't have to tread every beat of it! They did this to a degree by having Mr and Mrs. Bennet be offscreen the whole time and only portrayed by costume theater. But, like, with Darcy's letter, we kind of know what's in there. You don't have to tell us EXACTLY what he said or how you changed it, and I think it might have been really interesting to just... Not. Like, the letter thing DID make me kind of insane because the entire point, in the source text, was that Darcy was telling Lizzie these intensely private things, in confidence, because he trusted her to keep certain things secret. And I really, really didn't like the way they used the flimsy excuse of "but the viewers want to know" to have Lizzie do the "hypothetical" version of the story, particularly since she had already done that with Wickham and it'd be easy for a viewer who already knows the story of P+P (aka, like, everyone lmfao) to just. Draw conclusions about what the truth is based on the source material and Wickham's earlier account. I think the letter could've been a cool place for her to set a boundary and be like "actually this shouldn't be public and isn't any of your goddamn business" to the viewer. Like it fundamentally doesn't MATTER to the viewer of the adaptation what precisely the betrayal of Wickham was. And that boundary of "this isn't anyone's business" should only tighten when everything happens with Lydia.

Also, to be extremely meta about it, since the series was made by Hank Green and his whole thing originally was doing video-letters with his brother on YouTube (as I understand it; i was never into dftba/vlog brothers beyond using crash course), another cool way to do it would be to sort of go back to the epistolary origins of Pride and Prejudice and have it filmed as a series of video letters between Lizzie and Jane or Charlotte.

Unfortunately vlogging/YouTube in general aren't really things I'm into at all so I probably don't have the best imagination for retooling this particular piece. I will say that I like Emma Approved a LOT more and think it's much better suited as a story to this medium bc Emma is PRECISELY the kind of messy bitch who puts everything on the internet and would post a tearful youtuber apology (and I say this with love bc I adore Emma but we all know she's messy lmao).

[rissynicole]

DTIYS Contest Winners!

I’m still reeling from how much love this DTIYS received, and so thankful for all the amazing people who participated, boosted, and sent me well-wishes following Parade’s 1,000th kudos. Once again, thank you so, so, so much.

I had an incredibly hard time picking winners for this. As in, I sat up in bed last night just clicking through them all, agonizing over which three to choose. They’re all so beautiful, and they all came from sweet, dear friends of mine. I had 10 entries and, more than anything, I just wanted to be able to award something to everyone. 

This is what I eventually decided I wanted to do: just as I said before, I will be choosing three winners, in no particular order. Those winners can request a 1,000—1,200 word one-shot. Anything they want, as long as I’m comfortable with it! However, for all other entries, if you give me a short prompt of your choice, I’ll write a drabble for you! (My drabbles usually go a tad over the usual 100 words).

Just to be clear, this is not a burden for me, and it is something I very much want to do for my friends. It might take me a hot minute to get through everything, but that’s only because I want to make sure I’m not rushing my writing. I’m going to tackle this by first DMing the winners to ask them what they would like me to write for them. Then, once those one-shots are done, I’ll start reaching out to the rest of the contestants to get their prompts.

Alright! I’m going to put this under the cut, because I got rambly. 

Without further ado, here are the winners! 

@kovablue 

(kovablue’s art)

Okay, I’ve absolutely not made it a secret that I adore your art, but I did not expect you to draw something for this DTIYS! Seeing my boys in your style almost made me choke up. They’re positively amazing. I can’t even narrow down what my favorite part of this drawing is. The composition, the colors, the way you drew the planet and galaxy in the background… it’s all so beautiful.

@cozymochi

(cozymochi’s art)

Cozy! I don’t even know what to say. You’ve been such a kind and supportive friend to me for so long. Also, your art is so amazing, it gives me heart palpitations. This one almost did me in lol. It’s absolutely gorgeous, and I can’t stop staring at it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you 100% nailed the expressions on Zim and Dib. As in, you totally understood what I was thinking when I wrote that scene and drew it in the most beautiful way imaginable. I love it so much. 

@rllyaangrlly

(rllyaangrlly’s art)

Brit! My shitposting, zagr-loving, art-drawing, majestic buckaroo. Seeing your picture for this DTIYS seriously made my whole day. I love it to absolute pieces. Every time I zoom in to look at the boys’ faces, I want to start squealing. They look fantastic, and I still can’t get over how Dib’s legs are all pulled up to his chest. Poor guy has zero room in that ship. It’s incredible, and I am beyond grateful for your friendship. You’ve definitely made this fandom a wonderful place to be. 

Honorable Mentions

@0palite

(0palite’s art)

Opal! You were the first entry into this contest, and it really gave me the optimism I needed when I started to let my low self-esteem get the best of me. Seeing this scene drawn in your beautiful style really kept me going, and I absolutely adore it. Thank you so much for being so amazing.

@i-like-pink-lolzz

(i-like-pink-lolzz’s art)

Okay, I know you just drew yours for fun and not for the contest, but I really wanted to include you in the honorable mentions. I know that you really enjoyed Parade, and it really means the world to me. Your drawings, memes, and asks have been such a boon to my confidence lately, and I appreciate it all beyond words. You’re an incredible friend, Pink, and I am endlessly thankful for that.

@poppun-chan

(poppun-chan’s art)

I love seeing your art so much, Poppun. The way you drew the boys was positively adorable, and I’m still not over how soft and pretty the shading is. Thank you so much for drawing them and for being such an amazing friend.

@faithfulwhispers

(faithfulwhisper’s art)

Oh Faith, I’m absolutely in love with Zim and Dib in your style. You just have this way of making Dib look so sweet and charismatic, while Zim always manages to look like a smug little bastard. Even in this scene, you can see those traits shining through, and I think it only manages to add to the resounding message at the end of Parade that, with time and healing, things will be okay for them. This is such a beautiful picture, and your galaxy in the background is one of my favorites out of all the entries. Those shades of red are breathtaking. 

@reptile-ruler

(reptile-ruler’s art)

Your style is so amazing, and I still can’t get over it. The way you drew Zim’s and Dib’s expressions is so sweet, and I keep going back just to look at them. Absolutely lovely. And all the different shades of purple you used are gorgeous! It really makes yours stand out, and I love it so much.

@dana-chan-the-control-brain

(dana-chan-the-control-brain’s art)

I was seriously so thrilled to see that you drew this scene, Dana! I know you’ve been busy, both with fandom projects and irl stuff. It meant the world to me to see this scene in your style! I love the mix of colors you used in this. Seriously, that plum-purple color you used for the galaxy is my favorite color ever. And the way you drew Irk is gorgeous! The rings are perfect, and I think your interpretation of what it looks like is one of my all time favorites. Thank you so much, again. You’re such an amazing friend, and I don’t take that for granted. 

@ittybittybumblebee

(ittybittybumblebee’s art)

Bee! I remember following you ages ago, and seeing your art style change and grow is one of the most inspiring things on my dashboard. I can see your confidence increase, your characters get more and more expressive, and your color choices get more adventurous. This picture is so beautiful, I can’t even nail down just one thing that’s my favorite. The pops of bright colors, the soft shading! It’s all incredible! I love it so much. 

Thank you all, again, everyone. I can’t explain just how much it means to me that I have such amazing friends, readers, and people who fit both those two categories. You all mean the world to me, and I love you so much. 

[soundofseventeen]

We Belong Together (Part Five)

Hi! I finally bring you Woozi! I am also here with erin! (not irl but we still skying, lmao)

Word count: 1416

Jihoon wasn’t sure who gave his bandmates permission to use his house to get read, especially so early in the morning, but he was still in bed, listening to everyone’s footsteps. (Mingyu...or Minghao probably invited them. He was pretty sure that had to do with the fact they owned just about everything that helped them prepare for special occasions) Some were running between rooms, searching for god knows what and some just walked to where they needed to go. He could hear Jun and Seungcheol fighting over who was gonna shower in the spare bathroom (next time they decided to move into a bigger dorm, a third bathroom was definitely a requirement.) And then he heard them cursing at Dino, followed by a slam so he pieced together that the youngest beat them to it.

He tossed and turned for a couple more minutes, hoping to sleep the day away, or even just half. He hated that the sleeping pills he took the night before had little effect on him. He threw the comforter over his head, groaning and hoping he could drown out the noise to have some kinda peace before announcing his presence, but when Hoshi accidentally walked into his room, backed out slowly and closed the door a little harder than necessary, he sat up again, looking for something to throw at his best friend when he saw him, but he didn’t find anything. He hated when one of the boys went into a cleaning frenzy and left nothing in their wake.

Jihoon put on his favorite robe, the only thing he kept in good condition since his trainee days and his newest slippers that he received as a birthday present from...he couldn’t even remember who anymore. He wasn’t prepared for the mountain of clothes littering the hallway, and tripping over a belt in the process but he finally made it to the kitchen where Seungkwan and Joshua were sitting at the table, sipping their coffees and gossiping over whatever was on Seungkwan’s phone. Jihoon nodded at them and poured himself a mug, and although he enjoyed the warmth of it, he didn’t like how this was the coffee you got him hooked on once upon a time and eventually became his favorite. He could remember many times when you’d go out of your way to bring this to him when other brands didn’t cut it for him and how he threatened the members if they had some without his permission, and how you had to smuggle some so he wouldn’t kill them.

“Good morning Hyung,” Seungkwan greeted him happily when he sat next to them.

“Morning.”

“How’d you sleep?”

Jihoon nodded. “Same as every other time.” He had a sip, hating the flavor and he wanted nothing more than to throw it in the sink and buy a different brand. One that different leaves bitter taste in his mouth, no pun intended.

Joshua smacked the younger boy, either to get him to shut up or to focus on what was happening, but either way, he didn’t acknowledge him again.

He did notice that while Seungkwan was sweaty, he hadn’t showered and probably wouldn’t until everyone did. Joshua was also still in his most comfortable attire, not seeming in a rush to get ready anytime soon.

While many other times, he reveled in the silence when he was around his friends, today it seemed too much so he headed into the living room to play a video game. He tried acting as unbothered as possible, focusing more on knocking out his opponent in Mortal Kombat so he could proceed to the next level. Every so often the doorbell would ring and then he’d hear a new voice greeting him and then running into a room. At one point, Soonyoung walked out of the bathroom, dripping wet, sans towel, asking if they had more shampoo because the bottle ran out. 

Though he didn’t miss the glares Soonyoung threw at him. Jihoon knew that his best friend’s long simmering anger would eventually erupt and he knew he’d have to take it all until they could be on good terms again. Soonyoung hadn’t been particularly warm towards Jihoon since he found out you’d gotten engaged to Jooheon and he probably heard every conspiracy theory that Hoshi had spewed, trying to see what really happened. Though it wasn’t fair to you or him, he merely said it didn’t work out between you.

He sighed in frustration, trying to concentrate. He would not focus on the betrayal of his brothers ditching him. He had much better things to do than to think of why they were leaving, like work on his music, and go to the new ramen place that opened up. He could ask Beomju if he wanted to….no, Beomju already had plans to go too. Whatever, he didn’t want to hang out with him anyway. Jihoon could also reorganize his bedroom space. It needed a serious cleaning….actually, he didn’t want to touch anything. Some of your stuff was still mixed in with it and he wasn’t sure what you’d still need. He wasn’t petty enough to burn your belongings, but he also wasn’t a big enough person to return them to you in person. He hadn’t seen you in awhile and he thought it’d be weird if he just showed up out of the blue, especially because he wouldn’t be in the state to remain calm. The mere thought often sent him into a panic or anger attack, and then he’d mope. Well, not mope, but he’d eventually spiral into a web of things that made no sense and he’d try tto figure the riddle out.

Chan sat down next to him, brushing his teeth while trying to style his hair. “Hyung, aren’t you gonna get ready yet?” The foamy paste was all over his mouth and Jihoon hoped it wouldn’t get on anywhere except the sink.

“I’m not going,” he said simply, more focused on how to survive the round without taking any more hits. “I have to work on my music after this and possibly move things around in the studio. It’s gonna be a busy day.” When his opponent delivered the fatal blow on screen, he threw the controller on the floor with a little more force than necessary, scaring Chan. “Goddamn it!”

“Hyung,” he said quietly, “are you okay?”

“Yeah! I’m fine. I’m just hungry. Do you want anything? Are you sure? I offered.”

Jihoon stood up, stretching in the process and then made his way to the kitchen where he found Jeonghan helping Wonwoo with his contacts. At this he sighed in annoyance. Since when were you important enough that Wonwoo would ditch his glasses? You always said Wonwoo should be comfortable with you at all times, no matter the time, place, or occasion. 

“Don’t move so much or I’m gonna poke your eye,” Jeonghan warned.

“It burns. This probably wasn’t a good idea.”

No shit. “Is it even necessary?” Jihoon found himself asking. “No one’s gonna care either way. It’s not like we’re having this epic concert….” he trailed off awkwardly, realizing it wasn’t his place to critique his friend.

“Ahh, the rumor’s true. You’re really not going.”

He shook his head at Jeonghan, giving him the same excuse. “I’m busy. Things to do and deadlines to meet.”

Wonwoo patted Jeonghan’s shoulder in thanks and the older boy disappeared with a wan smile directed at both. “Let me go see if anyone needs help adjusting their ties. Wonwoo, I’ll have the solution in my pocket for when you need it. Jihoon….just don’t overwork yourself.”

Wonwoo then decided to turn his attention to the producer, walking towards him until he turned Jihoon around and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, hugging his back. 

“What are you doing?”

“You look like you need a hug so I’m giving you one.” Wonwoo rocked him side to side, humming whatever came to his head.

“Why? Nothing’s wrong. I’m not sick or dying.” Jihoon resisted the urge to break away from him.  Why couldn’t anyone see that he was okay? Sure, he was gonna be by himself for the day and no one was gonna check in on him, but he was a grown man.

Wonwoo squeezed his shoulders once more before letting go. “Why couldn’t you just have gotten your shit together?”

At that, he had no response, because he wasn’t sure if it was his question to answer.

[chaos-in-bright-pink-hair-dye]

The stars still shine as bright

So, @ordinary-dust happy fucking birthday! Since I can't give you a gift irl I wanted to at least write or draw something for you and well why not both actually. I love you and here have this Kobrastar so that you don't have to create all the content for this ship yourself as you said XD

It isn't easy to be brought back into a world that is nothing like the one you left twelve years ago but in the end it doesn't seem as hopeless when you have your partner by your side.

wordcount: 1358

warnings: death mention

Kobra wiped his hands to get rid of the grease and dust, there was something wrong with 27 and he, for the love of the Witch, couldn’t figure out what. He checked and took apart everything at least twice looking for broken gearing, corroded parts, exchanged all the belts and hoses and just couldn’t find what’s bothering his bike so much. Everything seemed in perfect condition yet she always whined and growled in a way that made Kobra’s soul ache when he tried starting her and his inability to fix it was driving him crazy.

The twelve years of standing under a sheet, getting dusted on, uncared for, becoming another ghost of the past really took a toll on her, it was wonder no one stole her, actually. He could probably thank Cherri or Dr. D for that, he was a legend in the zones of course, but when you’re a killjoy there’s no respect for your things after you die, someone needs them more and there’s no arguing with that so no matter how great The Fabulous Killjoys were none of their stuff would be left if it wasn’t for the radio crew.

It was weird to wake up into a world without them, Kobra knew them since his first day in the zones, he couldn’t imagine the desert without Dr Death’s broadcast blasting from the radio on long rides, without Cherri stopping by to brag about another clap he barely made it out of alive or without Newsie’s familiar laugh on the waves. But it’d been three months and they were really gone. And so was BL/Ind. It didn’t feel right, it was all they fought for, all they died for but it just didn’t feel right. The Girl did defeat them and now that there was no revolution, there was no need for four mismatched teens who knew nothing than running on gasoline and gunpowder, there was no place for them anymore, they were out of their time, imprints of the past somehow brought back, lost and trying to find their place in the world they didn’t know and that didn’t need them. They couldn’t go back to their old lives, there were no old lives to go back to after all, but they couldn’t go back to the city either, they simply didn’t belong.

‘Hey, Speed, want some help? Can’t stand the wailing anymore’ familiar cheerful voice from behind Kobra’s back jerked him out of his thoughts. How long has he been staring into nothingness? He quickly glanced around, the ground was still covered in spare parts, misplaced pieces of metal and plastic and screws, and he was still holding the cloth covered in motor oil, now more brown and grey than white, one tear rolling down his cheek, he quickly wiped it of before turning to Jet smirking in the way that earned him his reputation and name, teeth bared and every word dripping with venom that wasn’t really meant: ‘Thought ya were outside helping Party and Ghoul with the car, needs care too. And knowin’ Ghoulie it could be putting a bomb under the hood and not that I wouldn’t like bein’ dead but few more days’d be nice.’ but he knew Jet noticed the movement of his hand, the slight tremble in his voice, he always did.

‘Can’t take a break to visit my favourite crewmate?’ Jet rolled his eyes leaning on the doorframe ‘Plus Party and Ghoul were throwing hands over some fuckin’ bullshit as usual when I left so ‘s your brother I’d be worried about.’ the older killjoy laughed. His laugh died away turning into a warm smile as his eyes got caught on something on Kobra’s chest. Kobra loved Jet’s smiles, he didn’t smile often, at least not when anyone could see him but on the rare occasions when he did Kobra could swear the desert sun didn’t feel so bright in comparison anymore.

‘You really never go anywhere without it huh?’ Jet uttered with amazement as he walked slowly to the younger killjoys still not lifting his gaze from the small ring of gold hanging from Kobra’s neck on an old beat-up chain, the metal shining bright in the dim lighting of the room. ‘I know how much it means to you. And... it means a lot to me.’ Kobra whispered softly wrapping his own hand around Jet’s, he could feel the heat radiating from his skin, Kobra’s hands were always cold but but Jet’s burned with the warmth of thousand stars and Kobra would like to pretend it was the only reason he like being close to Jet so much but everyone knew it wasn’t true.

‘Zone rats like us might not really praise these but it was your mother’s and… and I appreciate this so much yk.’ He smiled at Jet who finally looked up and back at him, sometimes Kobra forgot how beautiful Jet Star really was. He might be covered in sand and dust, infinite scars covering every part of his body, his bright blue and purple hair not really so vibrant anymore and his eyes clouded with worries and stress even tho he tried to bury them deep underneath loud laughs and ironic remarks but again and again Kobra realized he’d never seen anyone more beautiful than the boy standing in front of him, every little imperfection making him love him even more.

‘Maybe I wasn’ talkin’ about 27 before, Kobes.... You’re not really yourself, I can see it.’ Jet whispered laying his hand gently on Kobra’s cheek, worries visibly reflecting on his face. 'None of us is okay, Star.’ Kobra snickered as he wrapped his arms around the older boy’s shoulders pulling him closer. He missed hugging Jet, he missed his smell, he missed the strength he hugged him back with that made him feel so safe.

‘Is true.’ Jet had to admit, none of them really felt like themselves but how could that be of any surprise. How could you feel completely okay waking up after over a decade of being dead. ‘Doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun, hm. Just the two of us. Party and Ghoul will find a way to entertain themselves and maybe if we’re lucky they won’t even burn the whole place down.’ Jet laughed winking at Kobra, bright blue curls falling into his eyes before he left a butterfly like kiss on the side of his neck. 'Heard there’s a party in The Nest tonite, how about we take the AM. Haven’t seen ya wear that pretty red dress in a while’ this time Kobra was the one to kiss Jet on the corner of his mouth smiling as he saw the bright blush on his cheeks covered in freckles. He always thought it looked like the night sky somehow found its way onto his pretty face and wondered how his name matched him so perfectly in so many ways.

‘Sounds nice, Shiny’ he kissed his partner again before sliding his ring from the necklace and back onto his finger where it belonged. They did have their beads to prove their pledge but he always liked the way their rings were special and he never took his off unless there was a high chance, he could lose it and even in that case he still kept it close to him tucked safely underneath his t-shirt.

‘Okay, by the car in fifteen. Gotta get those two boogies of our tails’ Jet winked and Kobra before quickly disappearing into the dark hallway and Kobra had to smile. He had to smile ‘cause he loved the boy so damn much and Destroya fuck it now he really had to go find the red dress. He had to smile ‘cause he knew Jet would look beautiful in the fifteen minutes they agreed on casually leaning on the white car he praised so much with glitter in his hair, his eyes shining in the setting sun and smiling in such a way that everything around would seem to disappear. And everything could be fucked but it didn’t really matter when he had Jet Star by his side again.

ID: Digital drawing of Kobra Kid and Jet Star slow dancing and lovingly smiling at each other. Kobra has his right arm on Jet's shoulder and his left hand in his hair and Jet is holding Kobra by his waist, Jet is a little bit taller than Kobra and their noses are only few centimetres away from each other. Kobra Kid is wearing red dress and has two little black stars painted on his cheekbone. Jet Star is wearing a black crop-top and his curly hair is black at the top turning purple and blue the longer it gets, he also has glitters on his nose, cheeks and in his hair. The background is a gradient going from yellow in the middle of the image through purple to black at the edges, the yellow functioning as a backlighting giving Kobra and Jet warm yellow rim lighting. There are little white blurred lights all across the scene. /End ID

[leavetwn]

* KAYLEE BRYANT, CISWOMAN + SHE/HER  | you know SUZIE TANAKA, right? they’re TWENTY-ONE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, EIGHTEEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to VALENTINE BY HOPE TALA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ROLLERSKATES SCUFFED FROM YEARS OF USE, STARTING A JOURNAL ENTRY TWO YEARS SINCE THE LAST ONE, A SIGH OF RELIEF ONCE YOU'RE FINALLY ALONE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is NOVEMBER 28TH, so they’re a SAGGITARIUS, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

it’s me again ! bringing a character who i’ve played for a while now, just switched up & such for every rp, and now , i’m bringin her here. :^) i hope you enjoy her as much as i do! tw: mentions of mental illness (anxiety)

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: suzie tanaka. nickname(s): su, anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-one. date of birth: november 28th. zodiac sign: saggitarius. gender/pronouns: ciswoman, she/her. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: san francisco, californio. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: part time waitress at cutie pie’s thanks to her skills on skates. full time student at the local college in her junior year as a creative writing major. she minors in film pro eye color: brown. hair color/style: dark brown, upper-mid back length & she usually just wears it in a simple ponytail. it’s more manageable when she’s out. however, when she’s at home, she’ll leave it down. height : 5′3″. clothing style: you can’t really put suzie’s style into one category. it’s inspired by several different eras & many times she pieces it together. some might call it a bit tacky at times, but she thinks it looks cute. to her, that’s all that matters. tattoos: none. probably could never attempt to get one cause she’s seriously afraid of needles lol. piercings: her ears and that’s when she was fairly young. reference the tattoos portion for reasoning.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

when you were around six years old  , you first realized that you were lonely. it wasn’t like you weren’t around other people. it was just that those people were mostly your mom and dad. occasionally your cousins would come over sometimes, but they were all older than you by at least four years. your parents were kind of eccentric, and for that, they experienced how harsh other kids could be very early on. they decided they didn’t want you to experience the same things, so since both were felt they were prepared enough to do so, they homeschooled you to keep you sheltered from those types of things. 

you’re sure they had good intentions. that’s not something you questioned, but you wished they’d at least find another kid you could be friends with or have another kid. you found yourself bored by yourself, so you immersed yourself in things like books or whatever movies they had around the house. this is where your love of fairytales began, and you’d fantasize about living in one while you read or watched the stories unfold.

you lived in your head, and you still pretty much do. you’re an idealist, even though you haven’t seen much of the world. perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t ventured very far from your home that makes you so, and while life could still be boring, you always had another book or movie to keep you company. you grew content being on your own, and the more that you were, the more you began to enjoy your own company.

that didn’t change the fact that you longed for friends. in all the stories you read or watched, the protagonist had one other person along with them for much of their journey. sure, you had people that you were friendly with, but it was never to the extent that you wanted. it was never a best friend or a close group  —  just someone you saw on few occasions. it also didn’t help how you felt when you were around others. the way you monitored every step you took, the way you crossed your legs, or going over the way you would speak to someone in your head over and over. you figured for the longest time it was because you were shy, but a diagnosis of anxiety gave you a lot more clarity and almost a sense of relief. those things started to make more sense.

being alone helped a lot when it came to academics. you spent a lot of your time studying or looking up random ass facts on the internet, and because of this, you’d call yourself fairly smart. you know your shit. it also helped a lot when getting into colleges. you didn’t aim too high though, not yet comfortable being all the way on your own. so, you chose the nearby university to attend. 

you move out. you’re excited, and your parents are nervous but prepared. they’re not oblivious to the fact that this day would come. you’re ready to go out and face the world, but most of all, you’re ready to make friends. you’re ready to go out and experience the world, every small step at a time. you’re convinced at college you’ll become a brand new person, find yourself, and make plenty of friends. 

it doesn’t go like that at first. of course it doesn’t. it’s a new environment, and it takes getting used to. but soon, people loosen up and warm up to you. you’re quick to make a couple of friends. it isn’t at all like the stories you’d read or watched when you were younger. it is happy and fun and joyous, but you realize that friendships take work. it’s a bit exhausting, as someone who had become such an introvert, but you manage and form close bonds. 

as of now, you are working on your degree and managing life one step at a time. you’re doing pretty well, and things are looking up. you keep your head in the clouds still to this day, imagining what the future will be like. you’re still idealistic and optimistic, not that that’s a bad thing.  

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

i was being exaggerative with the ‘being at home’ stuff rip. i mean, she did spend a lot of time at home, but she wasn’t always there. her dad would take her out to rockin’ and rollin’, and i mean, she fuckin rocks when it comes to skating. it was kind of freeing to her as a child. she def got a pair of rollerblades as a christmas present, and she probably was the kid skating down her neighborhood road and shit from sunrise until her mom told her to take her ass inside. 

maybe seems like she’s ditzy and she’s probably somewhat naive, but she’s definitely not stupid. she’s also a fast learner. she is, however, too nice for her own good. she’ll learn eventually, but she’s hopeful and an optimist at heart 💔

loves her dad but tells her mom everything. she doesn’t recognize it, but her mom was probably her first best friend lmaoo. they have a really good relationship. she has a good relationship with her dad too. he’s a bit more closed off than her mom, and she recognizes that but understands.

has an irrational fear that everyone’s like,,, staring at her & thinking she’s weird. really wants everyone to like her but she’s not sure how to make that happen (news flash, it won’t)

her fam is actually from san francisco but when she was 3, her dad got a better offer in irving so that’s how they ended up here. she knows this & she wonders what life woulda been like if she stayed back in san fran. probably wouldn’t have changed but she literally lives in her head and imagines shit like that’s her job at this point so yehhh 

dreams of being a screenwriter and maybe even a director one day. she saw how film and books influenced her life as a kid & she wants to have the same impact, yk? v cute to me i love that. maybe she’ll write a book one day too who knows

i’m feelin like she has a ton of online friends cause she was seeking connection /w people so it makes sense. shout out to all her online pals who kept her sane & shit, but it wasn’t enough for her cause she really wanted those kinds of things irl.

is a hopeless romantic rip to her. just wants someone to sweep her up off her feet and give her butterflies but this aint no damn fairytale so let’s make it chaotic

character parallels: lily (dash & lily, 2020) , amélie poulain (amélie, 2001) , belle in some ways lmao (beauty and the beast, 1991) more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

*  friends, best friends, etc.  — literally any friends at all. this is the connection she craves the most tbh. platonic over romantic periodt ! she just wants people to braid her hair and have deep, personal convos with about literally anything while legally blonde is on the television. 

* a bad influence  —  i mean, she stayed inside mostly & is kind of an introvert. didn’t have tons of friends either, so she didn’t really have time to go to parties, etc. BE A BAD INFLUENCE SHE NEEDS TO LET LOOSE LMAOO. it’ll prolly take a lot to get her out but hey 

* good influence  — someone she’s a good influence on & who she helps in some way. i could see it happenin’. if you see it happening, i mean... hmu you know where i am mwah 💖

* crush  — someone she’s head over heels with. i mean, it probably wouldn’t take a lot. in my head she be catching feelings way too fast. it’s just a thing, but yeah, it could go either way. maybe your character is into her too or she’ll end up getting her heart broken which is lmao bound to happen one day. could also be someone who’s crushing on her but she’s way to busy focusing all her romantic attention on someone else to notice? idk i’m just here for all the plots.

* annoyance  — someone who finds her ass annoying/does not like her. she wants everyone to like her so it would be so confusing and upsetting and she would be like wtf did i do but i want it cause i love angst. sorry to all my muses out there luv yall but i’m just bein real

* again, anything at all  — if you have an idea that you love, pls don’t hesitate to hmu and lemme know. i promise i will 99.9% of the time be down. the same goes for any wanted connection doodads that i reblog like if u see it and ur like omg i luv that... PLEASE hmu i luv u all already & just wanna have plots and write with you srsly

[bookwyrminspiration]

hello hello its been a few days but i, the dream nonsie, am back! (also my name actually means "dream" irl 👀) personally, i think a silveny flavored popsicle would be cinnamon-y as u said, but also... sparkly? in a way? not- not like actual glitter, thats disgusting, but.. when u eat it it just *feels* magical. not sure if im making sense lol ^^ aww, glad my crazy dream made you happy! :D ask word limit is getting close so imma continue in another ask if thats okay with you! <3 1/?

hello!! welcome back--i gotta admit I was not expecting this, but it's so nice of you and I really appreciate it <33. I hope you don't mind me compiling this all into one post, that way it's just a little more organized. you're entirely welcome to send as many asks as you want, so don't worry about continuing in others! I don't mind at all!

1. oo that's a really cool name meaning!! I always think it's interesting to hear what other people's name mean, or they meanings they've chosen to associate with them (as some have more that one). Quil doesn't really have a meaning, so I love hearing others'!! The only thing I miss about my dead name is the meaning, tbh, because it was pretty !!

also, I can totally imagine the cinnamon/sparkly popsicle. when you say that I immediately think of sparkling water for some reason, like it's not a taste it's a feeling. you put it in your mouth and it's an experience. you're wild dream was probably the highlight of my day!! something about it just stood out and I kept coming back to think about it. long silveny popsicles can do that to you, i guess

2. oopsie! my bad! when someone says writing I usually just default to the wings au, because that's the writing most people know me for. but!! i'm glad you like all the analyses I've done! I don't think they'll be stopping anytime soon--it's like everytime I answer an ask I get two more, which means there will be a steady stream of them for the forseable future. I really enjoy doing them, so I love hearing that people enjoy reading them! they're mostly just me rambling until I find a pattern or connection to latch onto, and then I build from there. and depending on the ask I might grab a book from my shelf to reference something if needed

also: thank you! The wings au is a pretty big project I've wanted to take on for a while, so it's absolutely thrilling to see people interact with it and talk about it--even if they haven't read it. There's absolutely no pressure on you to read it, just so you know! Honestly sometimes baffles me that I've gotten fanart and so many asks and comments on it, enough so that people who haven't read it still know what it is. like?? my wings au?? silly little idea I had all because of one stray thought one day?

as for writing it while taking college classes: yes! that's what I've been doing! I think i've had a combined total of like three weeks of break since January (i don't get summer), but aside from that i've had four or five classes while writing the au. Actually was taking an A&P class (which are notoriously difficult, even more so on summer schedule) this summer while working on it, which was wild. But a lot of the excited comments and theories and general interaction helped motivate me to keep going.

3. it's not dissapointing at all! I don't expect for anyone to read it, it's not something you have to do in order to interact with me and the stuff on my blog. it's just something I happen to be doing so if you like it you're welcome to engage with it! I actually don't read fanfic very often either, which may be surprising as I write it. Occasionally I binge a bunch of fics in a certain ship when I'm in the mood, but that's only once every few months. Ships just don't hold huge appeal for me, so I don't find a lot of fic that interests me. Also wow! mine was one of the first you've heard of?? that's a huge accomplishment to me, thank you! Where did you hear about it? I honestly don't know where people find my au, so I'm curious.

speaking of reading fanfic, Nattie's (theunmappedstar) fic is one of the few I've read! I haven't talked to them in a while, but they're very accomplished and it's an honor to be considered alongside them in terms of writing!

as for committing to mine, feel free to take your time! no rush! it's always going to be there! although I will say it does just keep getting longer, so be prepared for that. I update every two weeks on sunday, so you've got time. if you do read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts. truly, comments and just hearing what people think are the best motivation. it also enriches the story! I never know what's going to stick out to people or what they'll remember, so hearing from people gives me ideas for scenes in the future! I have a general idea of where this au is heading, but a lot of the details have been impacted by theories and comments. You absolutely don't have to though, just if you'd like I'd love to hear

4. thank you so much <33. I'd love to get back more into traditional art, as i've been focusing on digital recently. I just love how watercolors look! I actually have a few art requests from an embarrasingly long time ago (April) that I'd like to do in a traditional style. I also just haven't posted as much art recently, so I'd love to get back into that. Coloring and lighting were mostly me just winging it, trying to imagine a few colors that would look nice next to each other and then just going for it. Also, i cant even count how many times I would accidentally switch up the light source in in the middle of a piece. I actually took an art class a few semesters ago, so I have leftover supplies from that I could use for some keeper pieces! I've had a few ideas, so hopefully your encouragement can help me get back into that <33

the writer and artist thing: thank you!! both writing and art are interests of mine, so it's so cool to get recognized for both!! I remember when I started posting art I was doing it as a "I'll do this for now until I get to the writing" thing and then i accidentally became fairly well-known as an fanartist and i was just there like wait a minute this wasn't supposed to happen. But I love it!! I love doing fanart and I'd love to do more. But I also love writing! i have some ideas for aus and other one shots I'd like to do when the wings au is done, not that I'm trying to hurry that along. I thoroughly enjoy working on the wings au, and i'm not in any rush to get through it.

and don't worry, you have nothing to apologize for!! i'm glad you feel comfortable talking to me! You don't need to be concise or anything, you're welcome to take up as much space and use as many words as you'd like. I think it'd be a little hypocritical if i didn't believe that, considering how long my responses to the asks i get are (partially why they sometimes take a bit to answer). it was very much so a fun read!! I really appreciate you and wasn't even sure how to respond to everything in a way that conveyed that. I absolutely blown away by how genuine and sweet you are

i really loved this ask, and I've reread it several times because it's just so kind. thank you so much <33

[franeridart]

Anon said: How are those doodles?? Your "doodles" are a million times better than any of my finished drawings (i love them btw they are so f*cking cute!!!!)

AHHHH THANK YOU!!!! They really are doodles though haha 

Anon said: What are your OCs' names?? They are so cool I'm in love with them ♡♡

If you’re talking about the four in the latest original art post I made, then they’re Chris (with the undercut), Josh (with the long hair), Max (with the scarf) and Leo (with the eyepatch)!! I’m so so happy you like them, they’re old enough to be part of me by now so seeing them liked is always such a warm feeling!!

Anon said: Do you take prompts/suggestions? Sorry I don’t know your policy but would you consider drawing Bokuro ft jealous!Bo? I’ve always headcanoned that Kuroo is really popular with both boys and girls because of his confidence and effortless charm; whether he’s oblivious to this attention despite his intelligence or aware of it yet ignoring it is anyone’s guess~ I always look forward to your art and recently got into Haikyuu!! And damn, I do ship Kuroken too but you have me addicted to Bokuro now *_* ||  Aah finally got the FAQ open (blame mobile tumblr for being a bitch), and yup my last ask is def a suggestion and I hope you’ll consider using it~ Somewhat unrelated, do you regularly add stuff to your red bubble? I love your Kiribaku art but I’m a huge fan of Momo (&Todomomo) and Kuroo (&Bokuro), is there any chance you have something in the works with them up for sale soon? Thanks

GOSH thank you so much for liking my old hq stuff enough to ask for more!! I’m not sure if I’ll get back to drawing bokuro soon, honestly? So I can’t promise that if I’ll go through with the suggestion it’ll be soon, but I’ll definitely keep it in mind for when the mood strikes!! And about the shop, I add to it whenever I feel there’s enough stuff piled up to? Though I plan to start adding more often than that from now on - I don’t really have anything for momo and kuroo to add on rb that isn’t already there, but as soon as I’ll have more of either of them I’ll remember to put them up! Thank you so so much for the interest in buying from me!!

Anon said: Ok but that Kirishima art was absolutely amazing

THANK YOU!!!!! 

Anon said: Hi! First I really really love your art and I make this little muffed scream every time I see your stuff pop up on me feed. You’re amazing!! Second, can I ask how you do shadows? I can never make them look right or lay across my character correctly. Yours always look so amazing

Thank you!!!!!! I actually used to have that same problem with shadows? However much I kept track of where the lightsource was and the shapes I was working with it always looked wrong, somehow - the way I fixed it was by adding more shadows, actually. If you’ll pick any of my colored pieces you’ll see I don’t really put down lights all that often, which means the base color ends up being my light color too, and everything else is just shadows getting darker the further I go from where the light hits the object I’m shading - generally, I use a soft tool like a brush or a marker to very roughly put down where I want the shadows to go, and then using the same tool I smudge and darken it till it looks right to me. I can’t really explain it any better than this? But I have a small tutorial for how I do this in my art tips tag, if you wanna give it a look!

Anon said: I come back to look at your art almost every day, especially when I’m feeling down; so I’d just like to thank you for posting your beautiful art for all of us to experience. On behalf of all of your followers, Thank you! :,)))

Anon you’re gonna make me cryyyyy!!!!!! ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; thank you so so much, both for this ask and for liking my stuff to begin with! <3

Anon said: Your anatomy is so so so so good! And don’t even get me started on your colours! Perfection

GOSH I still have a long long way to go, but thank you so much for thinking so!!! It makes all the effort feel worth it! ( TT^TT)<3

Anon said: I love everything about ur art! from the sketches to the full colored pieces, it's the highlight of my week whenever you post! I was actually wondering where you get the ideas for clothes! I always see the variety and was wondering if you came up with them or are they from somewhere ^v^ keep up the amazing work!!

It’s a mixture of both, actually! I like to look at clothing, both irl (on people I see, or stuff in the shops I visit, or even pics and movies and tv shows!) and drawn too - in anime and illustrations and manga and cartoons! I look at them and try to remember how they’re made, and then when I draw I think about it all and come up with my own by mixing stuff I liked from all those things - unless I see a piece of clothing that’d work just right as it is on a character, in which case I just draw it either as best as I can from memory or, if I have it, using a ref! It’s one of the things I find the most fun when drawing, I’m glad to hear you like what I come up with!! Thank you so much!!!

Anon said: Thoughts on KiriTodo? Because I. Am. Hooked.

I like it!! I don’t actively ship it, since my only actual ship for Kirishima is kiribaku, but I like the look of him with todo, aesthetically, and their friendship is highly entertaining to me, which means their potential relationship in a romantic setting is too - and, as we’ve seen with my very random dip into the non-existent kirijiro fandom, that’s more than enough for me to decide maybe I’ll wanna go and draw for them, one of these days haha

Anon said: Haven't seen KiriSero or KamiSero Fusions yet! Got some ideas for those? (Filling out the Bakusquad pentagon XD)

I really never got around to drawing those, did I! That’s actually surprising, hadn’t you pointed that out I’d have never realized - I’m not doing fusions anymore right now, but maybe I could make an exception for these two............ if the inspiration strikes, why not!

Anon said: Did you see the newer bnha episodes?! Miritama made it feel like a shoujo... (In a good way)

THIS IS SO OLD OH GOD sorry I didn’t get around to answering this sooner!!! The miritama relationship is really wonderful, isn’t it? They make me cry so much, soft warm boys, so in love............. TT’’’TT <3<3<3

Anon said: This whole year has been a trainwreck for me and your blog was one of the few things that stayed constant, so thank you for being my favorite spot on the internet. Hope you keep drawing and I love your art so much!

AH, THANK YOU! I really really hope I’ll keep on drawing too!!! I’ll do my best 💪💪

Anon said: Some days I’ll just sit in bed at 2 am and be like “I need a hug” and then I read ur blog and it’s like a safe mental hug. So thanks for that.

That’s!!!!!!!!!! so sweet oh my god!!!!!!!!! ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I’m so glad my stuff can make you feel warm like that, anon!! <3<3

Anon said: So it says you don't do requests in your faq does that include commissions as well

Not right now!! Maybe sometime at the beginning of next month, ✨Stay Tuned✨

Anon said: Hellooo hope you are having a good day. It's always so fun to scroll through your blogs and enjoy your art 💕💕 Idk if it's a little weird to ask but I also love your old aokaga art and I was wondering if you had any interest left in that fandom or would ever consider drawing for it again? xx

Gods, I really don’t know? It’s been so long since I’ve last engaged with anything related to knb........ I still do love the ship though, so, maybe? I really have no clue, I might though!! Thank you so much for liking even such old things from me!!!!

[skittlewaffle]

Oh! explain the dream!

*cracks knuckles*

So I think it all started in the middle of the series. Like how your friends show you season 2 or 3 of a show you haven’t seen season 1 of :P It was like I was in a version of Demon Slayer that took place across like.. from my own neighborhood to New Jersey for some reason?? I swear my own identity was changing between characters like Tanjro and Nezuko, but despite that I never stopped being me, and everyone in the dream recognized that.

First thing I remember was me having a quick flashback to my backstory (which happened later in the dream when I rewinded to season 1 lol; I’ll explain it now so it makes more sense chronologically). My mom was driving me to NJ to show me the demon slayer training camp. It was.. more militaristic than I expected...? Like literally we were driving on a dirt path in a ditch just deep enough to avoid the gunfire of people at target training overhead. I kept telling my mom to turn around cause I was scared, but she went kinda crazy and drove forward faster. I guess I just kinda clipped outside of the car before it crashed into the main building and started a fire, as well as an uprising. I was trying to find safety while people around me fought each other.. for some reason bees was a major cause of death; guess there were a lot of hives. But it resulted in HUGE piles of dead bees afterwards. Anyways, I had climbed up a wooden tower and stayed there until everything had blown over and someone told me to come down. (Also I swear Laurent Thierry was there too hdbcjsn) It’s kinda blurry, but I think this might’ve been where I first saw Giyu.

Back to where I started, we were by the driveway of my house. I think I had broken my bike after riding it a little, and I suddenly got flashbacks of my mom’s death in that car crash. Giyu came out from the driveway and asked me what was wrong. I kinda went off topic from what I was thinking and began to vent to him about how useless I was as a demon slayer, and a fighter in general. I think these were my real life insecurities making it’s way into my dreams because I’m currently having a rough time with my dad. Giyu was walking around and going off about how that’s not true, while I got teary-eyed. My laptop was in front of me so I typed while he spoke, allowing him to come back to it when he was done talking for the time being. He understood that I was too upset to say things out loud. He came back to read what I typed: that I had an argument with my dad recently and that he’s been telling me negative things about me. And Giyu said something along the lines of, “Don’t listen to him. Your dad can’t tell you what you think or feel, or who you are as a person.”

You know what happened afterwards? We hugged. We had a real hug and it felt so nice... I never get hugs like that from anyone irl except for the person who just happens to be my abuser. I often only hug my dad to keep him appeased and so he doesn’t lecture me about how distant I’ve become. So to share affection not coldly, but out of genuine love, with someone who really does care about me, was a breath of fresh air. It was a fairly long hug, too.

Afterwards, he invited me to ride out of the neighborhood on our bikes. Mine was broken so he gave me this electronic scooter I could sit down on. I felt so small compared to him as we rode out, but the good kind of small!

So we stopped at a corner outside the gas station by our house. And suddenly, we were surrounded by bullies. No bueno. Some of them just kinda stood there and watched, while others took action against us. I was still sitting on my scooter until some girl kicked me off, and I looked at her, trying to seem uninterested. I was on and off fighting people back and just standing there and taking it, like Giyu was. He wasn’t doing a thing until suddenly, he started running back towards the neighborhood. He was a little out of character, shaking his head and trying not to cry while some bullies managed to keep up with him and hit him a bunch. This is when I got outwardly angry. I shoved the girl and picked my scooter up (it turned into some fancy skateboard lol) and I whacked every other person with it while I chased after the most powerful bully on Giyu’s back, who looked a lot like Genya. Normally, in chases like these, the dream would slow me down to where I’m not able to run, but I was filled with Tanjiro’s indignation. I ran as fast as I possibly could and did that thing where they seem to teleport in their run, and once I reached the guy, that slow-mo scene happened where I kick him in the back and he falls, emphasizing the impact he makes on the ground before I chop him on the chest / shoulder on his bounce up, knocking him out.

... I think he dropped an item as they do in video games lol,, it was a box of big puzzle pieces, which I guess had some kind of significant meaning other than being a trophy of my win. Later, Giyu and I rented a little hotel room and began to settle in. We had two of these boxes, which we put on a little shelf on the dresser. He placed the demon slayer manga on top of it lol. Y’know?? We started to live a domestic life there!! We were able to comfortably talk to each other and make eye contact n such haha... When I asked him what he wanted for lunch / dinner and he answered chicken-something (I don’t remember.. some Japanese dish maybe) I said in my mind, I dunno how to make that, but I’ll cook anything for you babe ♡ When he was arranging stuff in our mini fridge and he asked me to hold the door open for him even tho it stayed open by itself,, I had to ask why. And he HECCIN complimented the way I open the door ?? He basically said that it blew his mind. Uhm, excuse me?? Normally, nothing impressed him much, especially how someone opens doors. Now that I think about it, it might be a nod to me struggling to open up sometimes, and that he was proud of me for doing so 🥺 or maybe he just thought I was beautiful in general hdncjdnx... (I was wearing colors like Nezuko’s btw, just thought I’d mention that cause I love her outfit.)

He went out of character again at the ending “Taisho Era Secret” sequence. He was with Shinobu and he accidentally started going off about how wonderful I was. His behavior was almost a toned down version of Zenitsu’s and he ran away afterwards out of embarrassment! Not something I’d normally imagine him doing, but it was sweet nonetheless. Shinobu just kinda stood there like “Oh my!” before giving the viewers the Taisho Era Secret they were waiting for. I don’t remember what it was or if it even happened lol

There might be a few things I didn’t write down soon enough to remember vividly, but still. It’s this very dream that made me simp for Giyu Tomioka. Show me emotional support (in a comfortable, sensitive, and caring way), and my heart belongs to you. And guess who did that? Giyu. And for someone as quiet and reclusive as him, it means so much to me.

[shidoukanae]

YGO! Questionnaire

Tagged by @cipher-wise​

Favorite series:

My favorite series based on what I watched and enjoyed would have to be Arc-V!!! It's honestly the series that got me to adore YGO when previously I'd seen YGO as, and I chilidishly quote, "uncool". Everything about Arc-V is pretty much wonderful: Yuya's presence as a "everyone MUST be happy" kind of character in a plot that discusses themes of war, revenge, and despair is absolutely refreshing (especially when Yuya's ideals of happiness are stripped from him and made a mockery of by, *coughs* one of my favorite characters in the franchise *coughs*). 

I love how the four Yuu boys are a wonderful combination of "protagonists" (/anatagonists) and how they each play off of each other's weaknesses and strengths, often acting as mirrors to each other in their individual dimensions while having amazing interactions (Yugo and Yuri, anyone? Yuri and Yuya?).

I admire how the endgame plot is a perversion of Yuya's ideals: he gets what he wants, showering happiness upon all, but that "happiness" is corrupted into the notion of entertainment. While Yuya seeks to provide people with smiles and laughter, to give them hope to work together through tough times and to stay strong in the face of adversity, his "counterparts" in the endgame are really good at acting as Yuya's mirror: showing that his style of performing can also be used to appease the bloodthirst of one's own self and that happiness can be corrupted into self-deserving power.

...Hard to put that into exact words without spoiling a lot of things but, gosh, let's just say that Yuri and ____ are the perfect mirrors to Yuya in terms of what his entertainment dueling style is meant to be.

The plot over all is pretty good! I won't lie and say it stands strong all the way throughout the story but the first half is amazing and there are some pretty strong episodes in the second half (Yugo and Rin, the parasite episodes in general, Yuri Yuri YURI). I can definitely say that the humor is there, the characters are amazing (if nothing else, watch for the Yuu Boys, the Bracelet Gals, and Shun versus Sora!!) and having come into the show around episode 104, I was pleasantly surprised by the trip Arc-V brought me and how it played with its protagonist, giving him hope, kicking him down, and toying with his mind - just like the way a warzone might to any idealistic individual.

In terms of other series, I like VRAINS but only up to like episode 19 (or the end of the Data Bank arc). It had potential and I kept hoping it would get better but the plot was constantly floundering, there are plot holes abundant (sewer monsters, ugh), character development is inconsistent not to mention very shallow, VRAINS has some of the best side characters but they're kicked to the curb by a bland protagonist and a villain that could've been so much cooler but they made him a sympathetic mess.

...I have a lot of gripes with VRAINS but, if it were to ever be rewritten with clear goalposts and plot twists in mind (not to mention development on ideas like Charisma Duelists because at the end of the show I still have not a fucking clue what a Charisma Duelists is or was) I would say it has potential to become my favorite series but Arc-V clearly beats it for me in every category lmao.

Zexal’s also really good too!!! I don’t get all the hate behind it because it’s actually really interesting and engaging (also IV’s definition of fanservice is literally the only type of fanservice I will ever accept) and I think I’ve even cried a couple of times during the course of the plot which is like,,, shocking considering it’s not a show I thought I’d cry over (I cried in Arc-V too but goddamn does tiny Yuya just want to make you tear up lmao). This show is really good emotionally and it’s literally so stupid how Kaito carries a lot of the early and middle game of the show yet most of the meat of the plot doesn’t begin to unravel until the second season.

Also, if you ever want to watch a show of 100+ episodes that is so masterfully written that there is foreshadowing for stuff in like episode 130+ on EPISODE ONE, please watch this. Literally there are so many hints of what is going to happen in the future in the early episodes and you won’t really be able to tell what those hints are until you’ve finished the show but goddamn when you go back and rewatch things it does indeed feel amazing how much foreshadowing they threaded into the show without you ever knowing...(please don’t search for spoilers if you intend to watch this. I went into the show knowing some spoilers tho not all and, while I was still pleased by what I watched, I honestly can agree the show is A Lot Better without knowing ANYTHING)

Favorite Protagonist: Yuya. For sure, out of all the series, Yuya. 

He’s a refreshing protagonist, especially considering he shines in a world of war and despair. He’s also someone who you empathize with right at the start and want to hope in, especially since he is the “happiness” in a word of “madness” and “sorrow”. He’s not someone out to save the world (not really, anyways), but his actions touch on the lives of others anyways, giving people in a hope in a world that is otherwise cruel and heartless. Also, it really helps that he’s able to pull you into his world of “egaos”, making you believe in him and root for him despite how cheesy his ideals may or may not sound.

Also love how, despite being the centerpiece of “happiness”, Yuya isn’t allowed to always be happy :> Not spoiling plot related things but if you like protagonists going off the rails insane at times, Yuya’s definitely a fun protagonist for that!!!

Favorite Rival:

Kaito Tenjou!!! Literally the best rival in the series that I’ve seen. Everything about him is literally perfect ngl. From the way he’s chillingly introduced, with the spine-tingling whistles and cruel, almost merciless nature, to the way he slowly becomes sympathetic while also remaining a terrifying presence whenever he appears...I love him????

Favorite BFF:

Does Shoichi count? Because like...he’s Yusaku’s closest friend and ally in the series and I generally don’t pay attention to the other BFF’s in the other series (or at least, the ones I can recall bc I know in Zexal that Yuma has a whole group of friends lmao).

But I like Shoichi!! He cares about Yusaku a lot, is pretty damn cool as a sidekick hacker, his sideplot with his brother was actually honestly endearing and I loved the mystery about him. His early-game jokes w/ Ai to tease Yusaku were also a good laugh.

Favorite GFF: 

Not a girl friend forever for the main protagonist (although she like...lowkey confessed to him...though that plot really never went anywhere so I still don’t know what the fuck THAT was about) but,,, Ema Bessho,,

If y’all knew me back in my peak YGO days when VRAINS was airing,,, this gal was and STILL is my favorite girl of the YGO series. Even though she was pretty much done dirty imo I still love her (even despite considering she’s been made a damsel-in-distress at least three times, she’s only ever won one duel on-screen despite being supposedly good at dueling, ngl they could’ve done so much more with her but tbh she’s mostly just an asset to solve problems at whim and barely gets character development/does nothing but watch and spectate stuff late-game).

Even though she’s like...the unfortunate side character who’s probably meant to be more fanservice than interesting, in the first 19 episodes (and even the Revolver vs. her fight as well as the one time she meets Aoi IRL early-game) made her out to be a lot cooler and complex than she ended up being. I mean,,, a hacker gal who’s self-serving, cynical, and cold-hearted taking on the tasks of her (potentially ex) boyfriend while being really nice to his sister to the point she baffles even herself,,, we could’ve had a really unique and cool character to play around with here but instead we got...cool-ass character with potential to be something more reduced to a spectator with nothing better to do than idolize the main protagonist and have a plot with her brother that honestly detracted from her character more than it added to it imo.

Also Ema could’ve been a female Yuri but,,, nope,,, they decided she was better as a background piece instead TwT

Favorite Villain: Yuri.

Literally Yuri.

I could choose the leather jacket w/ fluff boi in a certain series because hot damn was that guy convincing AF that he wasn’t an evil psychopath (and even while knowing that he was, I still got fooled into thinking he was a good guy somehow omg) however,,, I’ve always held a love for Yuri and the way he’s been portrayed.

Despite ALWAYS being the bad guy, the show has always made this purple fucker into the most entertaining character on-screen. He even beats Yuya sometimes in terms of how entertaining he is - that’s literally how good he is,,

Also his facial expressions are amazing, he’s a VERY VALID threat to the main cast (and his creeper levels are not only off the charts but literally called out by the main female protagonist herself lmao), and he acts as the perfect foil to Yuya, battling not to entertain others but to entertain himself.

Also, he likes killing people.

No this is not a joke.

He literally likes killing people. And is pretty sadistic about it, too.

(^^^^ for those who don’t get the joke, “Fusion” is pronounced “Yuugo” which sounds similar to “Yugo” which is what,,, Yuri is making fun of,,, more context is needed of course but this is a Great Running Gag)

Favorite card:

I don’t know if it actually exists as an actual card but...that crystal dragon from the YGO movie with the glass pyramid. Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon...it’s really pretty...I love it...

Favorite Episode:

I’m...too lazy to search for names of these episodes but I can give brief summaries of them,,, because I can’t choose,,,

Arc-V: Shun vs. Sora (ALL episodes). Hot damn if you have never watched YGO but want to try and see for yourself why people like it: WATCH THESE EPISODES. I can’t explain how amazing these episodes are and, while I admit jumping straight into them might have you missing out on some important context (such as who Shun is or why Sora’s battle tactics lead to revelation) it’s honestly an amazing fight regardless. The battle starts off plain enough - there’s obvious tension, it seems like a typical fight of a battle royale, etc. - my god does the battle ramp up in emotional tension and promptly kick you in the gut with not only how blindsided you’ve been, but it also showcases just how cruel these “entertainment duels” can really get.

Any episode with Yuri. Literally any episode he’s in. 

I think this is like...episode 8 of VRAINS...but whenever it is that Akira hires Ema to find the reason why Aoi just...straight up got knocked into a coma. Literally this is my favorite episode when it comes to Ema. The way she makes fun of Akira even while aware of his situation,,, her cruel selfishness and desire for money bubbling to the surface, the way she confesses how she can’t be trusted willingly and still asks Akira why he’s hiring her,,, god I love this episode in terms of what Ema could’ve always been.

Episode 13 (/14?) of Zexal!!! This is the episode Kaito appears and when the show REALLY picks up. Kaito is a fun bastard of a rival and tbh I don’t think I’ll ever stop getting chills of him walking in, debris frozen in time all around him, as he approaches his victim, whistling an eerie children’s tune as he gets ready to close in for the kill,,,,

Favorite Deck to Use:

I don’t...really play the game itself but...I have used a couple of decks and I guess you can say I really love Raid Raptors??? First of all, those warbirds make really fun sounds I love ‘em in the anime but they’re also just fun to use in general (even tho I used a,,, very basic deck for them,,, I love them still).

Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum or Link:

XYZ bc it’s really the only summoning method I’m used to lol :P. Also XYZ loyalist I guess???? 

Years in fandom: roughly five to six years iirc? I mean, I was a fan of the early day YGO and watched it as a kid but not active enough to be in the fandom for it lmao. Also not in the fandom atm because Sevens lost my attention (it’s a good show!!! I’m just unfortunately more a fan of things with serious plots and darker themes and it’s hard for me to stomach slice-of-life shows that don’t focus on a mature and engaging plot). However, Arc-V and Zexal holds a special place in my heart (as does VRAINS, begrudgingly) and so I occasionally find myself wandering back to these shows like right now,,, 

[excorcismic]

uhm . . . cheesed to meet you ?? - HI GANG !! what’s up , i’m hylia and i . . . love . misa and death note with my entire heart . I KNOW FOR A FACT i will probably pick up more characters along the way but i couldn’t have picked a better one to start out with !! i have experience writing both misa & light - i actually am more experienced writing light than misa , but i still have a lot of experience with her under my belt !! i’m currently writing him in another group and when i saw duality i just HAD to write her here - i’m so excited to plot w/ y’all !! so lemme tell you the basic facts & some connections and ideas i have under the cut c: ( this got long i’m so sorry )

ooooooooooooo you wanna plot with misa so bad oooooooo - AHEM . so . 

IF YOU ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH DEATH NOTE / MISA : death note is a manga / anime revolving around a smart young man ( light yagami ) who discovers a supernatural notebook who can take the life of any human as long as the writer knows their name & face . light uses this book to essentially try and purge the world of evil , earning the alias ‘kira’ ( who gains a following ) , and misa , who acquires a death note of her own , seeks him out as the second kira . she possesses things that he doesn’t , so essentially she becomes his partner in crime - she , falling in love with him ( or more so the idea of him she created for herself ) , and he , entertaining her fantasies in exchange for her abilities and assistance . it’s . . . way more complicated in detail and honestly pretty sad but that’s the getgo . she’s a pretty girl with a very powerful notebook and she likes a guy with a powerful notebook that sees her more as a tool he can use to further his plans . OH OH OH and also she has a protective monster lady who’s in love with her and looking after her and threatening to clap light if he hurts misa in any way . 

death note . . . is a story about how people who were good can become awful towards other people and themselves if you give them a bit of power . 

BUT ANYWAY . misa actually has a much happier life here than in death note !! it’s . . . still kinda eh in some places but overall much better since that godforsaken notebook doesn’t exist and isn't here to screw anyone's lives up .

she's a former child actor, now a musician in a pop punk band called 'your friends & the skeletons!!' but as of rn with her taking a break from big performances and touring she's just a streamer operatin' out of alucard and trying to entertain herself since sometimes the world gets a little too big for her and she needs to take a step back.

it’s a pretty cute life & that’s the rundown !! of course , it’ll be more detailed and developed in my intro for her , but that being said - CONNECTIONS .

OHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT OUT THESE WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS WITH ME SO BAD OOOOOOHHH AND OHHHH YOU WANNA LIKE THIS POST FOR ME TO DM YOU FOR PLOTTING SO BAD OHHHHHHHHH

okay so obviously some band mates !! YF&TS i imagine is a four-piece with misa on rhythm guitar & vocals , then lead guitar , bass , and drums . i imagine they’re all friends with misa , but maybe one person has been friends with misa since like . . . forever . and has seen her go through literally everything .

so , misa lives alone . maybe i’ll have her look for a roommate along the way but as for right now , even though she lives by herself ( and honestly is a lil lonely ) , i really like the idea that maybe she’s the helper neighbor that wants to befriend everyone that lives on her floor , runs to get groceries , always visits and checks in on people , etc . !! so neighbor friends pretty please !!

obviously if u wanna make ppl be fans of misa & her band that is a-okay with me just pls keep in mind they’re kinda big but not . . . big big . like they’ve got some dedicated fans but not full on stans y’know

SO  . . . folds hands . i kinda like the idea that misa hasn’t been through that many serious relationships ( always gets her heart broken through them ) but maybe there was that one serious ex-partner she had and they broke it off for whatever reason . it’d have to be when she was 18-20 and they’d be together for maybe about two or three years before her career takes off and stuff and yeah it’d be the saaaad relationship that fizzled out even tho it was serious for a bit

also some not so serious/long relationships where misa got her heart broken !! fun times !! misa throws her full heart into things way too easily so this could’ve happened in many different ways . flings ?? check . short-term relationships ?? check . she wrote a letter for someone on a starbucks napkin asking them out and they rejected so whenever she comes into said starbucks she feels shy & awkward ordering something ?? check . ( we can have fun with this basically it’s ‘ misa tried it with y/m and it didn’t work out and she’s still lonely ’ )

friends please !! friends that misa’s made in alucard !! also friends with benefits maybe !! idk !! misa is a very friendly person she will be your friend if you say ‘hi’ in a positive tone towards her !!

oh i think it’d b rly funny if there was one person misa kept trying to befriend and they’re just rly stubborn abt it for some reason bc idk maybe they find misa annoying or something anyway give me sb who misa wants to be friendly with n they’re just No abt it for whatever reason

ONE OF THE THINGS I HAVE FOR MISA AS A STREAMER IS THAT SHE’S RLY INTO THE PARANORMAL AND RECORDS STUFF WITH IT SO PARANORMAL GHOST ADVENTURES PALS PLEASE !!

she’s also a gaming streamer so imagine she gets into a fight with sb behind a screen on a game and/or stream and then finds them in alucard like ‘oh fuck’ aka cyber enemies

also the exact opposite scenario with cyber friends aka misa makes a friend on a game and they meet each other irl and it’s cute !!

misa . . . is not a huge party girl but i imagine she has ppl that regularly invite her to parties and stuff so there’s that . but like . she only knows these people in context of partying - they’re her party friends and that’s it and her relationships with them are just kinda shallow .

i’d ALSO like a friend she makes that’s maybe a little more sheltered & naive to the world than she is so she just takes them to cool places and stuff !! shows them what it’s like to live on the ‘ wild side ’ !! whether it’s driving to a 24 hr gas station for candy and snacks in the middle of the night and staying out until sunrise just on the road or just sitting at misa’s apartment and watching true crime documentaries in their jammies . just sb misa’s gonna take like ‘ hey we’re gonna show u what LIVING is like ’

actual shipping . . . i would love to explore at a point but i wanna explore other things first so that’ll just be smth that comes up in development maybe !! i want misa to get a chance to experience what actual love is and explore the relationship aspect of it so i’m open to it but also i just wanna develop it n let it come naturally . filled !

ANYWAYS . i’m open to rly anything !! enemies ?? friends ?? frenemies ?? friends or enemies with benefits ?? unrequited crushes ?? exes ?? found family ?? party pals ?? streamer pals/enemies ?? LET’S PLOT IT OUT I’M SO EXCITED

sorry this is a long as hell list anyways let’s plot out some relationships even tho i’m bad at plotting and trust me the intro is. probs gonna be even longer. i am so sorry.

ANYWAYS ILY ALL IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE/PLOT W/ U GUYS

- - - - - - - - - - - POST-EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT EDIT : okay so this one is rly specific but , , , i rly would like if maybe misa had sb to go to the cirque du eradicus with ?? probably as a date !! a date that doesn’t have to amount to anything but they’re gonna b the one who witnesses misa go into the hall of mirrors n it’s gonna be kind of like a connection since they’re gonna have been together when that stuff happens and it could be rly fun to work with in the future . just gonna put the age limit for this one at 22 - 26 just bc gaps and all !! i think it could be cute if it goes well or interesting if it doesn’t but . yeah idk they can split off at some point for other threads bt ANYWAYS I JUST THINK IT’D B FUN filled !

also if anyone wants to bring me anyone from death note i will kiss u ESPECIALLY for light , l , rem , or matsuda . pls . maybe these characters can ACTUALLY get a normal fuckin’ life this time around - ( sometimes we just want to live in the yotsuba arc forever where everyone’s runnin around solvin mysteries and not scheming against each other - )

death note hits differently .

[qqueenofhades]

Hilaryyyyy your Old Guard fic has ruined my life as I knew it would. When I found it on ao3 yesterday, let out an irl cackle and had to constantly remind myself to wait until the work day was over to begin reading (the joys and perils of working from home in these Covid times, gotta stay on top of my shit myself). [1/7]

Now I've been following you for years (if this can be a timestamp: one of the earliest fic of yours that I can recall reading was a Gladiator-style Captain Swan piece that truly and physically ripped my heart to shreds. Like: real life chest pain) and thought I knew what I was getting into. I know you're a historian so I figured this would be rich with (accurate!) detail. It was that and more: so immersive, so /educational/, so everything. [2/7] 

And this is all before getting into the Nicky/Joe of it all. I read through a lot of the ao3 comments as well (is that weird? I wasn't ready to leave the space the fic created yet so I kept the ball rolling in a different way) and like I saw a couple people mention, the characterizations went differently than I had envisioned yet felt so right, I was sold. [3/7] 

The thing about the movie that grabbed me (amongst the other 283737 things that I loved) was how, in every scene, in every way, yet without ever beating us over the head with it: Joe and Nicky just /fit/. Like the sky is blue, the Earth is round, Joe and Nicky were made for each other. [4/7] 

Now I have shipped many a couple in my old age, but this has been the quietest, most solid love story I've witnessed, without it even being the focus of the movie and once the 2 hours flew by, I knew I needed a prequel, a sequel, and a 6+ season series and to know all that is and ever was about these two. (And Andy and Booker and Quynh, but that is not where I am going with this ramble). [5/7] 

The way you took them from their start to the end in 1995 had me hooked and I just want to thank you for it. You treated them as individuals made it understandable why they are so perfect for each other by the time we meet them in the movie. They were just so real and I loved it. [6/7]

I don't even know how to end this unending word spiral (and if I've lost you, don't worry because I'm pretty sure I lost myself at this point) but I just want to say that: I know you are a historian, I know you are a writer, yet this amazed me and I hope you never have doubts that those two endeavours are your calling. Thank you for the art! 🙏🏻 [7/7] 

Oh wow, this is so long and so lovely, thank you so much. (Also, may I applaud your Mad Skills in knowing that this would take 7 asks to send; I am impressed by that and even more by the fact that Tumblr didn’t eat any of them, as I’m sure it was longing to do.)

As I said to another follower since the Captain Swan days: truly, I must thank you for putting up with God knows what and God knows how many spirals and new ships and hyperfixations since then (that started like... 8 years ago Jesus Christ). And yes, aha, When in Rome was like one of my earlier or at least early-ish fics for them, and was known for causing pain back then (I come by my url honestly). Memories.

As for how I characterized Joe and Nicky in their backstories: I don’t tend to read TONS of fanon (usually just what pops up on my dash) so I can’t speak to how they’re characterized in other fics, but for me, I am always a Ho for that sweet sweet character development, and for exploring how characters are flawed, how they change and grow, how their experiences affect them, and how they begin in one place and end in another. (Plus, we know that I also love me some of that Trash Man Character Development, especially if they’re actively trying harder to be a good person.) I’m also very invested in the idea that kindness a) isn’t just being passive and letting things happen to you, but requires action and fierceness and commitment and other things that usually come to you by experience, and b) that it’s a choice you make and have to keep making. So obviously we see Nicky struggle and grow with that over the centuries and even after everything that happens to him (and with Joe as well, of course; they both have to do it in their own ways), but that’s not necessarily where he starts out in 1099 and it’s something that has to come to him over (many, many) years. He’s a good man, but it’s raw, and it’s messy, and all this obviously horrible stuff is happening to both of them, and that’s not the easiest way to be constantly optimistic. When he’s still optimistic about things in 1995, it’s despite everything he’s seen, and which he has had to consciously choose over and over, the same way all of them have.

Likewise, not of course to rain on anyone’s parade who headcanons the two of them getting together in the First Crusade itself, but I just could not possibly imagine that happening. There’s just too much that they have to go through with their realizations about immortality and about each other and the sack of Jerusalem and everything else, and of course they’d run away and drag their feet and have shock and trauma over it and etc. (Besides, I need me a good enemies to lovers with proper buildup, so yes.) Their entire WORLD comes unglued and I wanted to process that properly for both of them as individuals before moving to writing them as a couple, and anyway. Yes. Of course they had to take a hundred years to figure their shit out and work through their emotions and come to a place where they could get together and then continue to make choices both for themselves and for each other.

.... the point is, I love them. I love them so very much and you’re right, they just FIT, they’re meant for each other, I adore every bit of the cheesy romantic tropes they’re given and I eat them up with a gd spoon. It just Hits Different when it’s the star-crossed immortal enemies to lovers One True Love romantic fairytale gay crusaders couple, ya feel? (As once more, I ruefully reflect how PAINFULLY they are exactly my type. And I also need all the content. Immediately.)

Anyway. I will likewise curtail this ramble here, but thanks again, and I’m so glad that you enjoyed it!