#also this whole time he is hotter and better at sex than you are

[horsegirlhob]

Spike absolutely haunts Riley I fucking know it

[fleur-bbyy]

SINFUL SUMMER

it’s the first day of vacation and lucifer already can’t keep his eyes and hands off of you.

𓇼 lucifer x fem reader

𓇼 warnings: unprotected p in v sex, semi-public(?), creampie, reader wears a bikini, reader wears sunscreen for anti-aging purposes (pls wear your sunscreen!!!), sub reader, lil oral fixation if you squint real hard

𓇼 a/n: 1.6k words of my own fantasy. I was gonna post all the summer stuff together but i’m scared I won’t finish it all in time and was too excited for this one lol. also if it wasn’t clear, it’s one of those cabanas that’s covered on all sides and has curtains at the front, they’re in the jockey position lol, and it’s one of those lounge chairs where the back adjusts. (plz forgive me for not being that descriptive i was excited)

As the sun beams off his clothed back and his feet begin to burn from standing in the hot sand, Lucifer comes to a realization.

You are quite literally his worst nightmare.

Pretty in the face and so, so naive to any of his lustful advances. An innocent request for him to help you apply sunscreen to your back should be just that, innocent. It shouldn’t be so daunting or feel so inappropriate for a man as respected as he was. Scanning over your barely-clothed back as you rub the contents of the tube on your arms. His ruby eyes linger far too long on the dangerously thin fabric on your lower half. He wanted to tell you that your bikini left far too little to the imagination, but he shouldn’t have been imagining that anyway.

“You’re laying inside a covered cabana, you don’t need it.”

"Do you expect me to spend the whole day in here?" You turned to look at him, smiling as your hands began to run the spf over your collarbones. "Besides, the sun still reaches me. I don’t want my skin to be saggy and feel like leather when I’m older." Lucifer crosses his arms and mentally eye rolls: You’ve been hanging around Asmo too much. 

"Fine. Finish up everything else and then tell me what you need." You smile once more in victory and continue to cover your front with the lotion. Lucifer stands in the doorway, arms still crossed, a seemingly calm expression resting on his face. His eyes stayed transfixed on your body for the majority of the time, glancing over his shoulder once to see his brothers doing their own thing in the sea and snapping right back over to you as you bent over slightly to reach your legs. Your bikini bottoms riding up even further than before and exposing more of your skin. His eyes widening a bit more when he noticed the outline of your cunt peeking through the fabric, causing the air to feel a bit hotter and his swim trunks to tighten a little more around the crotch.

"Okay, need you now." you said, beginning to lie down on the chair and handing him the tube of sunscreen in the process, his fingers accidentally brushing yours as he grabbed it and he swears you let them linger on purpose. He stood over to the side of you and began to gather the lotion in his hand before you stopped him.

“Don’t be awkward. Sit over my legs.”

Lucifer paused after hearing you voice your request like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He lightly sighed and reluctantly moved to straddle your legs, his half chub barely a few centimeters away from your plump ass. Lucifer contemplated whether you knew what you were doing or not. You had to feel it; there’s no way you didn’t feel it prodding against your thigh as he began to smooth the lotion down your back. holding back a groan when you arched into his touch.

“How exactly does sitting like this help?”

“You’ll reach better. Besides, wouldn’t want you to throw your back out, old man.” You lightly laughed at your own joke and Lucifer rolled his eyes, hands moving to the center of your back. “You’re good at this, should be a masseur.”

He wasn’t able to respond, having to bite the inside of his cheek as you arched even more into him. Your ass dangerously close to his hardening cock. He paused to grab more sunscreen and was about to continue before you stopped him again.

“You missed a spot near my shoulders.”

He slowly leaned forward, relishing in the feeling of his clothed cock finally making contact with your ass but trying to avoid it at the same time. Using his legs to lightly hold himself above you and starting to cover the spot that he missed when he heard a soft moan escape from your lips and your hips push into him even more.

There’s no way you didn’t know what you were doing. There was absolutely no way you didn’t feel his hardened length pressed into you. His hands slowly dragged down your back, stopping at your waist and giving an experimental small roll of his hips into yours, feeling a glorious sensation when you moaned a bit louder. He continued to roll his hips against you, biting back small grunts and groans when you started to meet his thrusts with the roll of your own hips. One of Lucifer’s hands slowly traveling from your waist to the edge of your bikini bottoms, pulling them to the side and shivering at the sight of the strings of your arousal sticking to them. He slowed his hips to get a good look at your soaking cunt and ran his index finger up and down your slit.

“Do you want this?” He asked, fingers running over your sopping entrance and examining the way they shined with your essence. You frantically nodded your head, not trusting yourself to speak without getting too loud. “I need to hear you say it.”

You bit your bottom lip, trying to steady yourself before whispering out a quick "yes." You felt him shuffle behind you and shortly after felt his tip prodding at your entrance. rubbing himself up and down your slit to gather your wetness before he slowly began to sink in. inch by inch with shallow thrusts.

“Ohh fuck.. that’s it. You feel too good.” Your toes curled and pussy gushed at his words. Allowing him to sink even further into you

He was big. Barely half way inside, and you already felt so full of him. grasping at whatever you could and beginning to roll your hips into him once more, eliciting a sharp hiss from the man.

“Need you to open up for me.” His breath was hot on your neck as he leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“Can’t. You’re too big.”

“None of that. You can be good for me.” One of his hands positioned your hips up even more, giving him access to your neglected clit. “She can be good for me too.”

You moan when he begins circling your clit. Feeling your arousal drip down and lubricate his working finger. His thrusts starting to speed up and his free hand tracing up your spine to pull the string holding your bikini top together, giving him full access to your back. Everything coupled together gave your cunt to final push to open up completely. Moaning even louder when he finally pushes all the way in. Your whines and moans crescendoing to the point that Lucifer has to clamp a hand down over your mouth and pray that one of his brother’s didn’t hear anything.

“Naughty thing,” he began, sticking one of his slender fingers into your mouth and grinning when you immediately start to suck, “this is what you wanted the entire time, didn’t you? Wanted to rile me up and fuck you where anybody could walk in and see?”

Beads of sweat begin to gather on both of your faces from the summer’s heat and the intensity of the current activity. Some rolling down Lucifer’s face and landing in small droplets on your back that he lovingly wiped away after removing his fingers from your mouth.

“Are you going to be good and quiet for me?” You didn’t answer. Not trusting yourself to speak and worried you’d let out another loud whine instead.

“That just won’t do,” his thrusts slowed and he pulled his hand back from your aching clit, “answer me.”

“Yes. Yes I’ll be good. I promise.” You said through gritted teeth. Even with his agonizingly slow thrusts, the steady drag of his cock on your walls practically made you shiver. Feeling him hit every ridge as he pulled out and pushed back in.

“Then cum for me. Want to feel you.”

Before you could even try to start fucking yourself on him, he picked up the pace again. Going even faster and harder than before and causing your body to bounce up and down on the lounge chair. The grip on your left side becoming ironclad and his hand once again sneaking to rub expert circles on your clit. His heavy balls knocking his fingers every time he plunged into your heat.

Your orgasm comes soon after with a strangled moan. Burying your face in your hands to try and muffle yourself but to no avail. Lucifer also begins to gradually lose himself as he works you through your pleasure. The clenching and spasming of your cunt around him causes the fingers on your clit to fumble in rhythm and move sloppily. His grunts and groans gradually getting louder and his thrusts speeding up just a tad more before you finally feel that familiar warmth as he spills inside of you. Panting and biting his bottom lip to quiet himself.

The air in the cabana was still thick with sex as the two of you recovered. Finally looking over and noticing that the chair had moved at least a foot away from its original position and your tube of sunscreen had been leaking out onto the sand the entire time. Lucifer carefully pulled out of you and admired how his cum dripped from your pussy. Using two of his fingers to push any that had trickled out back into your spent hole before fixing your bottoms and tying your bikini top back to it’s original position. Finally adjusting himself and getting off of you after making sure you were alright.

“Are you going to stay here?” He asked, his voice quickly returning to its stern nature as he crossed his arms over his chest once again.

“Think so.” You turned your head to look over at him and propped yourself up on your arms, watching as he began to leave to check on the others. “Thank you, by the way.” He stopped in the entryway, glancing over at you with a grin and half-lidded eyes.

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

[boba-beom]

₊ ⊹꩜ backrow theatre | CHOI BEOMGYU, KANG TAEHYUN

⟢ sub!beomgyu x switch fem!reader x dom!taehyun

⟢ drabble; smut, little fluff

⟢ going on a date with beomgyu in an empty cinema was a plan from the beginning. what you didn't know was that you were being monitored the whole time, and turns out it wasn't just you and beomgyu wanting to have some fun.

⟢ wc: 1.1k (drabbles never drabble)

⟢ a/n: beomgyu and taehyun. the back row of an empty movie theater. smut. @junniieesbby's req for my event! MDNI. I decided I'll slowly release these drabble reqs from my event during the week days too, I feel like it'd be a lot to post during the weekend :') I received more reqs than I thought! but I am extremely thankful nonetheless! feedback would be appreciated as always ᡣ𐭩

warnings under cut

⟢ petnames;(baby, pretty girl, good boy, etc), sir kink, threesome duh, oral (m. receiving), degradation;(slut), deep throating, exhibitionism, dirty talk, somewhat voyeurism, there's some mxm moments (if you don't like that don't send hate, just don't read), unprotected sex, hair pulling, soft choking, pervy taehyun, spit kink and cum eating. lmk if I missed anything!

giving beomgyu head in the back row of an empty cinema was not part of the agenda your a first date, but you weren't mad about it. and neither was the man moaning like nobody's business. you two were the only ones in the cinema room after all.

"ugh, shit, baby. your mouth feels so good." beomgyu sighs, placing both of his hands on either side of your temples, resisting how fast you're sliding his dick down your throat.

the dim lights only made the view of you on your knees even hotter for your date. your fingers fondle his balls while you try and take him in deeper every now and then, and he loved it indicated by his throaty moan.

in the cinema, each room is under surveillance by a member of staff; monitoring any forbidden activities such as filming the screen or in this instance, someone receiving head at the back row of an empty cinema.

the movie wasn't much of an appeal to most but it was also the first day of the viewing—at the latest time too. the member of staff huffs, adjusting his half-hard dick in under his slacks while watching the way your head bobs up and down between the legs of a man slumping in his seat. but he better do his job.

you kneel back on your legs, fisting beomgyu's cock with both hands painfully slow, twisting your fists as he leans forward to kiss you, moaning into your mouth.

light shines on the both of you, along with a stern voice interrupting.

"excuse me, what do you think you're doing? I'm going to have to kick you guys out-"

"please don't kick us out," you squint to read his name tag, "taehyun."

blinded by his torch shining on the lewd scene of your slick hands over beomgyu's pulsing dick, you manage to see the corner of his lips curve upward.

"why shouldn't I? this is unacceptable and it's public indecency." he retorts, but his growing erection feels otherwise.

"if I let you fuck me will you let us finish and not tell anyone, sir?" you look up at him with your doe eyes, almost whining from the title rolling off of your tongue.

your boldness was good enough to keep you going, beomgyu's cock back in the warmth of your mouth and taehyun's pounding you from behind, also kneeling. the grip of two pairs of hands on your body—your head and your hips—essentially had your mind reeling, another thing added that wasn't on your agenda.

taehyun's thrusts didn't falter, fucking you hard enough until your legs are shaking, him having to hold you up.

"fucking cum, slut." taehyun grunts between clenched teeth.

your moans over beomgyu's cock doesn't help him from hold back his noises, whining your name as he feels his length throbbing against your tongue. that is, until taehyun pushes your head down, taking more of beomgyu until his tip was lodged down your throat and gargling, then pulling at your hair, stopping just when beomgyu's tip remains in your mouth.

the male above you starts grabbing on the arms of the seat, throwing his head back and mouth agape while you're moaning around his tip until he unloads his thick cum in your mouth.

"don't swallow yet, pretty girl." taehyun pants behind you, snapping his hips as he pistons into your throbbing cunt. "c'mere."

you shuffle on your knees, knowing they're bruised but the pain is nonexistent in a situation like this. taehyun sits beside beomgyu and fists his shaft, waiting for you to position yourself between his legs.

you open your mouth slowly, careful not to spill beomgyu's cum from the corners of your lips. after a couple more strokes, taehyun hunches forward, letting out his strangled groans after each pump of his white ribbons spurting out his tip and into your full mouth.

"good girl." he sighs, chest heaving while he caresses your cheek once you close your mouth. but you don't swallow. letting the bitter cum of both men mix over and under your tongue.

taehyun turns to beomgyu, a thought brewing in his head and hoping you'd be quick to catch on. he grabs your date's jaw, delicately squeezing his cheeks.

"open." is all he says, and beomgyu was quick to oblige, opening his mouth and sticking his tongue out flat against his bottom lip.

taehyun looks at you, smirking and nodding his head in beomgyu's direction, a subtle smile playing on your lips. you genuinely wouldn't have taken him to be such a freak but he's so hot, and the lust in his eyes while he waits for you to move was enough to realise he was just as freaky.

getting up on your feet, your knees almost buckle as you move to hover over beomgyu, crawling over his lap as your slicked cunt makes contact with his half-hard dick. you look at him below you, whiny and bringing his hands over a loose hold around taehyun's wrist.

leaning over beomgyu's face, you part your lips, slowly letting the mixed substances fall out your mouth and into the male's beneath you. when you felt nothing left in your mouth you press your lips against beomgyu's roughly kissing him and still tasting the cum on against your tongues.

another higher pitched whine rumbles in his chest when he felt the liquids sliding down his tongue and to the back of his throat.

"that's my good boy. now swallow, baby." you coo in his ear and you feel beomgyu's cock jump beneath you, taehyun, too, found that extremely hot.

you didn't take beomgyu to be someone who would eat his own cum, let alone a stranger's, but you'd by lying to yourself if you said that it didn't turn you on.

when beomgyu swallowed the last drop of cum he opened his mouth to show you, tongue sticking out again and taehyun's hand slides down to beomgyu's throat, applying light pressure as he raises off of the seat and spits into the other male's mouth, then nods. beomgyu swallows that too, no hesitancy in sight.

"god, you take anything we give you, don't you?" taehyun chuckles, thumb rubbing beomgyu's bobbing adam's apple.

the movie was coming to an end, the credits just about to appear and the lights gradually brightens up the room while the three of you sort out your clothes and wiping down the collective mess on the seats.

you grab your jacket from your seat, looking around to find taehyun making his way to the exit of the theatre room.

"taehyun!" you call after him, also making your way down the steps to catch up to him.

he turns around, brows cocking up and his hands in his pockets.

"I was wondering," you start sweetly, "could I get your number and we can fuck again?"

he chuckles at your straightforwardness, taking his phone out for you to put your number in his contacts.

"pretty thing, I'd love to. just, not in the theatre again. you're lucky it was just me who saw." he responds firmly, but he has that stupid smirk crawling on his lips again. "and beomgyu?"

you give him a sweet smile.

"you two are hot so.." you trail, "this arrangement good?"

taehyun looks up to where beomgyu was, walking up behind you with his flushed cheeks.

"yeah, this could work." he nods, retrieving his phone from you. "see you around miss."

"see you around, sir."

© BOBA-BEOM ; all rights reserved. do not repost, copy, alter or translate in any way or platform.

taglist:  @bb-eilish @ericyjun @luvsoobs @yeonyeonyeonjun @junniieesbby @kyrkitten @day6andetcetera @dainsleif-when-playable @txt-yaomi @soobinsman @ahnneyong @wccycc @lizdevorak @fairybin @laylasbunbunny @acaiasahi @itaehynz @cha0thicpisces @fairybinie @yunkiwii @prodsh00ky @https-yeonjun @lovejoshua @aprilisque @ja4hyvn @smutnoullitheorem @seolis-world @jak-ey @my313 (send an ask to be part of the taglist! here's the spreadsheet for reference!)

[bunnyreaper]

guy fawkes/bonfire night with the 141

(mild nsfw/18+, mostly fluffy though)

as the resident demolitions expert, you best believe johnny has that shit on lock. he refuses to go to an organised display because he just knows he can do way better. his job gives him the expertise and access to anything he might need (and ghost secretly helps him assemble anything else if they need to skirt the law just a lil)

he ends up with a massive cache of intricately rigged up fireworks all perfectly timed--johnny had been planning it on and off for half the year, working on preparing for all of october and pulling late nights leading up to november 5th.

he bonds/flirts with you by begging you to help him a little with the set up. of course you don't really know enough to help, but you hold things for him, give him encouragement and listen to his excited rambles after you make sure to ask questions to get him going.

when the big night finally comes, he's setting off remote detonators with glee, pulling you into his body as the two of you watch the display. you get lost watching the sparkle in his eyes--both his passion and the flurry of sparkling explosions.

the sex that night is even more frantic than usual, johnny filled with excitable energy after watching all the blasts.

simon is in charge of the bonfire and is very territorial about it. starts collecting huge amounts of wood early on and setting it all up in the field behind the barracks. the whole thing is stacked PERFECTLY, structurally sound as fuck and to go up in a barrage of flames.

he'd love to make "guys" to set up on the bonfire, leaning into his goofy side. some of them have masks just like him, some of them have printed out faces as your enemies, one of them has hastily sewn in features that look a LOT like soap... but simon swears it's just coincidence when the scot loses his mind looking at it.

he's happy you have to quietly tag along as he sets up, and occasionally indulges you in chat as the two of you carry piles of wood back and forth. of course he keeps jokes for the occasion in his back pocket.

on the night he lights the fire, steps back and admires his work as he hugs you from behind, cradling you as he rests his head on the top of yours and the two of you listen to the crackle of flames as they lick up the sides of the structure. as the night goes on, his hands start to wander over your body and his lips find their way to your neck, making you burn hotter than the fire did.

john is on general dad duty ensuring safety, but more importantly he's pn hot chocolate duty. his recipe is a special one (and yes there's a bit of whiskey in there of course) passed on from his mother and his grandmother.

he's insistent on everyone having a thermos filled with it, to keep you warm and to enjoy the start of winter properly. of course while handing out the flasks he tells stories of bonfires he saw as a kid.

he invited you along with him while he worked in the kitchen, allowing you to be the only one to know about his secret addition to the drink (you'd giggled and encouraged him to add more, as well as making him do a shot as he prepared the other drinks).

the two of you had a blast shoving the whipped cream can into the thermos to fill it up with the topping--and price had definitely squirted some on your face.

he also put you in one if his oversized jackets, wrapped a scarf around you and made sure you were covered in layers of clothes and hats and gloves. he didnt want you getting cold even for a split second. the coat smells just like him as he leads you out into the field hand in hand, his other holding a bag with your hot chocolate filled thermos' in.

when you make it back to your room after all the festivities, he makes sure to warm you up properly, pinning you to the bed making you feel drunker than the whiskey-filled beverage did.

kyle takes point on setting up a cozy space for you all, but especially for you. he knows exactly what he has in mind to make the night just perfect for you. he sets up a little lean-to or two, lays down a picnic spread and fills it with all the warmest and comfiest blankets and cushions for you to lounge on. he strings dimmed fairy lights across the top, lays some lanterns around the outside and creates the most enchanting little set up imaginable.

he does it all because he knows it'll make your night, your month, your year. yes the guys will be there two but this is all for you, because he knows something so pretty and aesthetic and cozy will make your heart so happy.

he makes sure to help you snap photos of the comfy space, making sure the memory is never forgotten, but mentions that he has one final thing before you all get comfortable and wrapped up in the blankets.

he has a stack of sparklers waiting for you, as he knows they're one of your favourite parts of the occasion. two two of you take cute photos with the sparklers, with kyle showing you how to make the trail show up by giving the shot a long exposure time, of course the two of you draw hearts together.

later on when you're cuddled up, maybe his hand sneaks under the blanket and finds your clit, making sure you really see sparks.

[xhdream]

hey its ☁️

YOURE WRITING FOR P1HH🥳😼~

What kinks do you think the members have??

yessss, i am 🫶🏼 (excluding seob & soul since i’m writing smut) hello anonie! i hope you’re having a great start of the week ~

# p1harmony + kinks

keeho - scratching, hair pulling, choking (receiving)

the man is a sucker for making you feel so good to the point you don’t even realise how much strength you actually have in your grip. he loves feeling your nails digging into his back, scratching him all the way down, creating lines he can look in the mirror the next day; doesn’t mind if they bleed a little. he also likes having his hair pulled just as much as he enjoys tugging on yours. doesn’t matter when you do it - while he’s eating you out, when you ride him or while he fucks you when you’re on top with face buried into the pillow - he’s cussing and moaning shamelessly from pleasure the more you tighten your grip with strings of his hair laced with your fingers

same goes for choking with the difference he prefers receiving it. it’s a big turn on for him when you don’t shy away from showing your dominant side

taeyang - orgasm denial (giving), begging, oral

i see him being a fan of teasing you and not letting you have it the easy way. seeing you squirm and plead to cum gives him so much pleasure he might as well hump the mattress while he denies you for the multiple time. most times if not always, he does it through oral and fingering, because he’s not patient nor strong enough to do something like this while he’s inside you

when it comes to oral - he’s addicted; with both receiving and giving. loves burying his whole face between your thighs and being all messy with it. he’s definitely a fan of sixty nine

jiung - praise (giving), dirty talk, face riding

praise kink and dirty talk come hand in hand with him. he’s always making sure you don’t forget how in love he is with you, and how amazing you perform in every way for him. he switches the mood pretty swiftly though, one minute he’s romantic, and the next he’s whispering the dirtiest things in your neck as he fucks you. however, i see dirty talk being a huge turn on for him outside of the bedroom too, especially if you’re the one who started it. loves speaking out a few teasing words at your ear about how he cannot wait to have you on his cock while you’re out with friends or waiting in line at the store. the fact you still have like three hours to get home builds tension between the two of you that really does it for him

nothing turns him on more than having you sit on his face. he loves it when you sway your hips and glide sensually against his mouth, nose and chin. he thinks it’s really hot when you forget you’re sat on his head, and just chase your orgasm confidently without even thinking if he can breathe or not

intak - multiple orgasms (giving), squirting, lingerie

i see him lasting so long in bed it’s crazy. he has a high sex drive, so most times he fucks you to the point your legs cannot move when he asks you to switch so you can get on top. seeing you walk around with sore wobbly legs afterwards boosts his ego so much despite also making him feel a bit guilty too. this results into him giving you multiple orgasms and striving to have you squirt in his hand, or even better - while he’s inside you. he loves that he’s the only one who can get you in such blissful and weak state

pretty lingerie is one of his biggest weaknesses. he finds it really cute that you carefully pick them out just to wear them for his own personal pleasure. he loves how they look on your beautiful body, hugging nicely every curve, boosting your confidence. sometimes he takes photos of you while you’re wearing a new set, sometimes he cums all over them, but he cannot help it - it only makes them even hotter. he always buys you a new one afterwards ~

[sehodreams]

love your works 🫶 do you think you could pretty please talk more about anton and the piss kink? 🙈

TW and Tags: PISS KINK, all consensual, fingering, p in v, shower sex, messy sex, just a ton of filthy stuff that if you don't enjoy, JUST DON'T READ.

Hahahaha sure babe 😂

I have something about it in my riize kink headcanons, but more here:

Also, please look at those fingers and think about them while reading.

I think it'd be a slow path for him to recognize he has it, it'd start with him making you squirt one night, he'd have probably stimulated you so much you felt something weird coming, and after his long fingers fucked you ruthlessly, you would've had your first squirt in your life. Of course you didn't know you could do that, and he never thought about it before neither, but seeing in person fired something inside him he didn't know he had. Then, he wouldn't be able to stop pulling orgasms and orgasms out of you, it'd be almost a need for him to make you squirt in his bed for him to feel satisfied, or even better, i can see him fucking you with his fingers even in public to get that squirt out of you, in his car, in an alley, even in a party in a place so secluded he'd grab your hand and make you run with him after making a mess down the floor. He'd lick his hand and love how you would end like a newborn deer trying to walk with trembling legs, he holding your shoulder and helping you get out without no one else noticing.

Not much after that the piss kink would come naturally to him, for example, I imagine you two drinking a lot one night, a nice date in an expensive restaurant, you wearing an outfit so pretty you don't want to mess it up, holding in the urges of peeing the whole night. The second you arrived at your apartment, he would take it off to make you feel good, like in every special date. Starting with his usual fingering routine, saying how pretty you looked, he'd slide his fingers in and out, feeling your insides a bit hotter than normal but thinking it was probably because of how much wine you had. However, soon he'd notice something different was about to happen, he just felt it coming, and you didn't expect it, you felt a painful sensation burning you but you thought it'd be just an intense squirt, not noticing the golden drops until they started to slide down his hand. You couldn't stop apologizing with tears falling down your eyes, "I'm so sorry Anton, I'm sorry", and he'd be pretty shocked at first, feeling the hot sensation over his hand, but then he'd kiss your temple and calm you down to not make you feel more embarrassed "it's okay princess, accidents happen".

He'd keep thinking about it though, how different it was, and how good it felt at the same time to see you crumble that way in front of his eyes. There's just something unique about it, the way you break apart and shame creeps your cheeks, he just can't forget how vulnerable you were that day. So, the next time, it wouldn't be an accident at all, he'd keep pushing drinks in you, this time not in a public place to take it slow with you and see what you thought, but seeing how much he needs it, you wouldn't be able to say no when, deliciously riding his cock, he asked you to pee over him.

It'd be weird the first times, like everything new you tried, you would hide your face, maybe you'd cry, but soon it'd feel so good he'd continue asking you for it and you'd always accept, until it became a normal part of your relationship.

Also, later it wouldn't be just you, it'd start with something small too, like asking you to watch him pee, to then pee on your feet before softly washing each other's bodies after an intense night, or maybe directly asking you to have shower sex so he could pee over your leg before/after fucking you against the cold wall.

[sissylittlefeather]

A/N: Ha HA! Another one done! This is the 68 Special one that I promised y'all after the poll. It goes with my series that is currently unnamed, but includes Baby, What's Your Name, Goodnight, Sweetheart and Always, Honey. There are references to all three in here. It takes place before What Kind of Question is That? and Feels Like Forever. This is angstyyy, but the way the story is in my brain, the mid section is that way and the whole story is kind of tragic, in a way. It's very Catherine/Heathcliff (they should be together but can't be for some reason). I didn't set out to write a tragic story, but there ya go. It is what it is. I hope y'all like it anyway!

Also, don't be shy. Let me know what you think! I'd love to hear from you 😁

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smut, unprotected sex, p in v sex, kissing, ANGST

Also, I'm using Elvis gifs for this one because I like actual EP here, but if it makes you happy to imagine Austin!Elvis, do you boo-boo.

I Missed You

It's been over 3 years since you last saw Elvis. This is the longest you've been apart since you met all those years ago. You haven't seen him since he got married or became a father. He did all of those things without you and it nearly broke you. Still, you'd had your own marriage happen and fall apart, too. You wondered if you'd ever tell him that it was because of him and the fact that you never could seem to stop loving him.

The year is 1968 and you just got off the phone with a friend of yours who works in Hollywood. According to her, Elvis is going to be recording a new show soon and they're looking for audience members. She called to see if you might be interested in seeing an old friend.

No one really knows what you had with Elvis. Well, no one but your old roommate. Still, despite your long history, he never made you public like his other girlfriends. Maybe it's because keeping you a secret made the romance hotter. Or maybe it's because keeping you a secret meant he could keep you all to himself. Either way, your love affair had always been something that only the two of you really knew about.

But an opportunity to see Elvis again is hard to turn down, even with everything that's happened between you. Perhaps seeing him one last time will give you the closure you need to move on. You decide to call your friend back and see what you need to do to be in that audience.

******

Now that you're here, you start to wonder if this was a good idea. You're sitting in the audience in your new mod-style pink gingham dress with white boots and a white headband. You wonder if he will even see you in the crowd. Will he notice the pink gingham?

Your hands are starting to sweat and you wipe them on your skirt, pulling on it to try to get it to cover more of your thighs. You're not a teenager anymore and this dress is starting to feel a bit ridiculous.

One of the producers of the show comes out to explain to the audience how to react to the "applause" signs. Elvis is coming out soon and you're starting to feel a little sick at the prospect of seeing him. You don't remember the last time you were this nervous.

And then he's there. On the small square stage, right in front of you, in black leather. Your heart jumps and your warm center gets a little warmer. He looks good. Not that you expected him not to, but he looks better than you could've imagined. He breaks into That's Alright Mama and you're instantly transported back to that first show where you threw your panties on the stage to get his attention. You start to laugh a little thinking about what might happen if you did the same thing right now. You'd probably get carried out by a security guard.

He sings 4 songs and then they do a set change to him sitting down with his old band mates for a kind of casual jam session. You're still waiting for him to notice that you're there. Part of you is starting to hope that he'll never notice and you can just slink back onto a plane and go home. Seeing him has enlivened every feeling you've ever had for him and you can't help but have flashbacks to every time he's ever touched you. You long to feel his strong hands on your body, his lips on yours, his fingers and tongue doing unspeakable things between your legs. You squeeze your legs together and pray that you're not going to leave a puddle on your seat.

And then it happens. He's walking around the stage singing again and he kneels just feet from you. You're in the second row, far enough back to be out of reach, but close enough to be visible. He looks out into the audience and your eyes meet. Ever the professional performer, he only freezes for a second when he sees you. You feel like someone dumped ice water down your back and it's suddenly hard to breathe. You want to get up and run out, but you can't. And just when you think he's completely unaffected by you, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then he stands up, turns away from you, and keeps singing.

But he comes back.

He walks around the stage like he's supposed to, but he always comes back to you and keeps his eyes locked onto yours for as long as possible before he has to move. Every time it happens, your heart skips a beat and you start to wonder how much more you can take. Just when you think you might melt from the intensity of his gaze, he leaves the stage and the producer comes back and says that filming is done for the day.

You sit there for a while and let the other people around you file out. Eventually you get up and head for the exit. You're one of the last people in the room as you head for the door. And then you hear someone behind you. You turn, expecting someone to tell you that you need to leave, but no.

It's him.

You stand and stare at each other for a good minute before he speaks. He asks a single question.

"Where can I find you later?"

You want to tell him to go to hell. Instead, you hear yourself say, "Hollywood Hilton, room 647."

He nods, turns, and jogs away from you back to wherever he came from. A man comes and ushers you out the exit door. You head back to your hotel in disbelief. You're not sure what you expected, but it wasn't that.

******

You're trying really hard to stop pacing in your hotel room. The clock on the night stand says 12:24am. You're still wearing the pink and white dress, mainly because you're too nervous to change into anything else, but you're barefooted now, your boots in a pile by the door. You tell yourself you are giving him until 1am and then you're going to bed. That's when you hear the knock on your door.

Your stomach tenses up and your heart jumps into your throat. You walk to the door and open it carefully. Elvis walks in quickly and closes it behind himself. You're reminded of the time he did that when you lived in the dorm and you almost laugh out loud.

"Who are you hiding from?"

"Everyone." He looks at you like no time has passed since the last time you were alone like this. He puts his hand on the side of your face and for a moment you let him. Then you move away from him.

"Don't."

"Honey, why--"

"You have a wife."

"And you have a husband. Never stopped us before."

"I don't have a husband anymore."

"All the more reason--"

"You married her, Elvis." He looks down at the floor.

"She has your baby. You're somebody's father."

"I know that."

"Then why did you come here?" He picks up your hand and kisses the inside of your palm, just like he did so many years before.

"I missed you." You want to take that hand and slap him with it. For a second, you really consider it. Instead, you pull it away from him and turn to face the window. If you look at him, you might give in.

He comes up behind you and touches your dress on your shoulder.

"You know I've always loved you in pink."

"It matches--"

"--the dress you wore on the first night. I remember."

That almost convinces you to turn around, but instead you shake his hand off your shoulder. You can't turn around. Not yet.

"Elvis, we said this was over."

"We've said that before."

"Yeah, but last time I thought we meant it."

He walks around in front of you and faces you. He seems afraid to touch you again.

"Baby, you know I could never mean it."

You cross your arms over your chest and look up at him. He looks different now, grown up and fully himself, but he's still the same boy from Memphis who said he would always be yours.

"No. Go home to your wife, Elvis."

You can see in his eyes that that stung. You immediately wish you hadn't said it, but you did and it wasn't untrue. He does have a wife to go home to and you have what? No one because you can't seem to move on from him. He's as much a part of you as you are of him.

"You know what you mean to me." You do know. But sometimes you just wish he would say the words.

You walk past him to the hotel room window and look out at the street below. They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but this town could give it a run for its money. There seems to be people everywhere. He speaks again, ripping you out of your reverie.

"You know, I could ask you the same question. Why did you come to my show?" You step back from the window and look up at the ceiling. That, you don't have an answer for. You're not even sure why you came. It's no use lying to him or yourself anymore. You turn to face him with tears in your eyes.

"I missed you."

It only takes him three steps to walk across the room and pull you into a deep and passionate kiss, his arms around you to keep you from pulling away. You know you should pull away, but you don't even try. You melt into him like snow in the rain, your mouths picking up a rhythm easily. Kissing him is familiar and satisfying and you begin to wonder why you ever stopped. You wrap your arms around his neck and let yourself get lost in him. He walks you backwards to the dresser and then lifts you up so that you're sitting on it. He runs both hands up your thighs and then grabs your hips, pulling them into his own. You break the kiss and moan softly into his mouth as you feel his hardness press into you. In a second, he has the dress up, over your head, and off. Your fingers shake as you undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt and push it off of his shoulders with his jacket, letting them both fall to the floor. The whole time, he's kissing you on the neck, on your chest, and shoulder, and jawline, and lips. It almost feels like he's trying to devour you whole. In fact, he bites the skin next to your collarbone at one point hard enough that you let out a small yelp. He knows you well enough to know that's a good sound. You grab the back of his hair and pull his head backward, diving into a deep kiss with heavy tongue. He almost breaks your bra, trying to rip it off of you and your panties don't stand a chance as he tears at them and throws them to the side. The button pops off of his pants as you feverishly try to get them off of him. He slides them off his hips and to the floor, letting his erection free to land against your thigh. The sight and feel of it there elicits a moan from your mouth and a good deal of wetness from between your legs. He pulls you to the edge of the dresser and pushes himself inside you. He slams into you heatedly and you both start to sweat. You can feel your climax building around him as he pumps. He's still kissing you all over your face and neck, dipping his tongue into your mouth periodically. Your hands grip his back as your fingernails dig into his skin. As many times as you've been together, it's never felt like this before. There's a desperation and need in both of you that's completely new. You wrap your legs around him and he carries you to the bed, still inside of you. You fuck for a while with him on top of you, until you push him into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Then, you turn away from him and lower yourself onto him, holding onto his thighs for support. While you slide up and down on him, he reaches forward and makes circles with his finger on the spot between your legs that makes you cry out his name.

"Elvis, fuck!" You scream as your climax pounds into you from every angle, rushing through you from your center to your edges and back again. You turn around and push him back onto the bed. He moves himself backwards until he's fully on the bed and you can ride him easily. You're grinding your hips against him, so that he is so deep inside of you. Nothing seems to be deep enough to satisfy you tonight. You want to swallow him up and keep him there inside you. He moans and grunts while you work, obviously approaching his climax. He flips you over one last time and thrusts into you a few times before he shudders and cusses and fills you with his warmth. You're both dripping wet with sweat and covered in marks from the other's teeth and fingernails. He rolls over off of you and lays next to you, both of you breathing heavily. He picks up your hand and kisses your fingers.

"Oh, honey, I have missed you so much." He smiles at you and holds your hand on his chest. You get up and go to the bathroom, trying to forget that you just committed adultery with him. Again. When you come back, you get some panties out of your suitcase and put them on. Then, you climb back into bed, where he's arranged himself as if he's going to sleep there.

"Don't you... have to... go?" You ask tentatively. You think of his wife, probably pacing her room waiting for him to come home.

"No." He doesn't give any more detail and you don't ask. He puts his arm around you and pulls you close to him. "I'm staying here." He kisses the side of your head.

It feels so good to have him wrapped around you again. This won't be the last time you're together.

He waits until he thinks you're asleep, and you almost are, when he whispers,

"I love you, baby."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist: @itlover8000 @deniseinmn @elvisalltheway101

[imperial-topaz2003]

Imperial-Topaz ranks SWTOR Romances

To mark my return, I decided to do a SWTOR ranking, this time with the romances. I'm gonna stick with just vanilla ones for now, and do expansions at a later time. Also, I'm not doing any of the 'one-shot' romances, or I'll be here till the next century. Again, this is just my opinion, let me know what you think on these romances in the comments or reblogs. Anyway, this is gonna be a chonkey one, so let's get into it.

19. Kaylio Djannis

What a surprise. Anyway, she's down here for one reason in particular. She's literally the only romance option that fucking cucks you.

Yup. Honestly, Kaliyo is such an unlikable piece of shit. She trash talks you even if you're flirting with her and probably doesn't see you as anything more than a one night stand. I don't wanna look at this bitch no more. Next! 18. Doc

Yeah, you know how I feel about Doc already. The walking sexual harassment lawsuit who can't take 'no' for an answer. If you're a female knight who doesn't want to romance him (or at least wants to take things easy and not rush), you're in for an uncomfortable time. But what if you're into his flirts and return them? Is the relationship a bit healthier? I suppose, but his attitude makes it hard for me to take his commitment seriously. I just have this feeling that he'll run off to bang a hotter chick if given the opportunity. I mean, he already fled a wedding once.

So yeah, fuck Doc and his ugly ass crowbar mustache. 17. Nadia Grell

Before you crucify me, I like Nadia, okay? She's a great character. Her romance on the other hand is...eugh. There is a lot of unfortunate implications. You guys already know I'm not a big fan of Padawan and Apprentice relationships, it's just creepy for me. Also, you start romance literally after her father dies. I'm serious, it almost plays into the Sex for Solace trope. Also, the Consular is coded to be an older person, while Nadia is really young. I mean, ngl, I don't mind age difference as long as both parties are the age of majority (which, to give credit, they are) but still. Honestly, I just like Nadia better as a surrogate daughter/little sister to the Consular.

16. Corso Riggs

Yeah, Corso is...not the best in my opinion. I'll give him credit, he's got good looks and plenty of gentlemanly charm if you're into that sorta thing. But then again, his romance setup pretty much forces you to take advantage of him while he's drunk. Already that bumps him down a few spots for me. Personality wise, I find his whole 'don't hurt woman at all' shtick to get really old, especially when he does it towards women who are actively trying to kill him and the Smuggler. Buddy, you can defend yourself and still be a Gentleman at the same time. His jealousy also kinda gets on my nerves. Not my cup of tea, but I won't judge anyone who picks him.

15. Jaesa Willsaam (Dark side)

Some may not like that I put her this high, but the reason Dark!Jaesa is above the last four for me is simple: the entertainment value. Honestly, her romance is also roughly how I feel about her character: not actually 'good' per say, but so hilariously over-the-top and edgy, that I can't help but laugh. A perfect fit for a chaotic dark side Sith Warrior. However, as a genuine love interest? Not the best. There's better options you can pick for that. Also, I'm not discussing in this list Light!Jaesa, since I believe that's an expansion-only romance.

14. Raina Temple

Alright, done with the bad, now we can move onto the good, starting with Raina. She's alright in my opinion. I don't have much to say, honestly. I like her whole everywoman theme, she's cute, she's got some complexity to her, and she's not Kaliyo. Not an absolute fav, but she's good in my book.

13. Andronikos Revel

Again, not much to say. Revel's got a good arc to him: starts off casual and laid-back, but once you get to know eachother, he opens up and it becomes more serious. I also like how he's flirtatious and not an absolute creep about it...unlike a certain someone... So yeah, simple and sweet. 12. Risha Drayen

Don't have much to say for Risha, either. I like her, but I'm not crazy for her. I will admit, I do have a soft spot for the whole princess x rogue type of romance, and she is a pretty likable and personable character. I just prefer the other romance option for smugglers, but we'll get to that in a bit. 11. Felix Iresso

Someone give this man a hug, a blanket, and some snacks. He did not deserve any of the shit he went through. Hurt/comfort aside, I like Felix. He's calm, mature, friendly, and straight-forward in a good way. I know I sound like a broken record, but honestly, I am having trouble of what to say. Moving on! 10. Ashara Zavros

The one thing holding Ashara back for me is the master/apprentice dynamic. That's really the only problem I have with her romance. I just find it creepy. That aside, Ashara's pretty good. I love her character arc of her realizing the conflict between Jedi and Sith isn't as Black and White as she initially thought it was, and how it ties into her romance. I especially like romancing her with a Light Sided Inquisitor. It's just so sweet.

P.S. They did her dirty in KOTFE 9. Vector Hyllus

I know how beloved Vector is and some people are really not gonna like me not putting him the top 5. That's only because I only did his romance once. However, I did enjoy that playthrough. Vector is a very wholesome and quirky character with some interesting romantic themes. I'll have to play through him again someday. 8. Akaavi Spar

Man, I love warrior women. Especially ones who soften up over time, just like Akaavi here. I honestly have a soft spot for characters who completely wall themselves off from everyone else, but slowly begin to let other people into their boundaries as they open up. I know some people might not like me putting her over Risha, but I can't help it. Akaavi is just great.

7. Torian Cadera

Once more, not a whole lot to say, but I do enjoy Torian. His loyalty and courage are always endearing. One of my favorite moments in this game is reciting Mandalorian wedding vows with him. IDK why, but it's just so adorable for me. He, the Hunter, and Mako are an OT3 of mine. 6. Elara Dorne

Elara's romance is pretty adorable. She slowly begins to fall for you, spends time trying to adjust to a more casual relationship, and even goes out of her way to fill out heaps of paperwork and bypass regulations just so she can be with you. I love it. The one downside for me is the fact that you're her CO and she's technically sleeping with the boss. I don't hate it as much as the master/apprentice thing, but it does come a bit close. Other than that, she's great.

5. Malavai Quinn

Kicking off my top 5 is Quinn. The reason he's not number 1 is because I have a few issues with his romance. For one, you can turn the relationship very possessive and abusive as a dark side character. It's pretty scummy that the game lets you do that, and there is a sadly not insignificant amount of people who like to take that route. I won't call names, but still, it can get a bit iffy. On the other hand, if you're passive with him and respect his boundaries, his romance is considerably sweeter. It's really rewarding to see him show his undying loyalty and affection for you if you're not aggressively demanding it from him, and I love how you can rebuild your relationship after the Quincident. Really wish more people would go down that route. 4. Mako

Honestly, Mako has one of my favorite companion dynamics in the whole game, romance or not. She's charismatic and quirky gal to contrast to the generally gruff and straightforward bounty hunter, but still badass enough to keep up with them. And the romance, again, is pretty wholesome...and I'll leave it at that. Just plain cute and heartwarming. 3. Vette

Vette's dynamic with the Warrior is pretty much about the same as Mako's with the hunter. Which is why I really like her. I'm a big sucker for noble x commoner type relationships. Also in comparison to Malavai's, I like to take things slow with her, too. Instead of pushing every flirt button, it's wholesome to see her slowly come to a decision on her own and profess her love to the Warrior. NGL, though, I absolutely love how she literally jumps with joy upon being proposed to. Oh, and BioWare, how dare you make me choose between Torian and her! 2. Aric Jorgan

It's grumpy cat time. Another trope I have a soft spot for is the Defrosting Ice Queen (or King in this scenario). I love it when characters don't initially hit it off at first, but eventually warms up to eachother. Sure, when rushed, it comes off as contrived and unbelievable, but when done right, it's just amazing.

And Jorgan is just that, his friendship/romance evolution with the Trooper is a bit slow, but also believable. By the end of the story, he ends up straight up dedicated towards you. I also love how flustered he can get in romantic situations. Now if only BioWare made him bisexual... 1. Kira Carsen

@swtorpadawan and @magicallulu7 are gonna like this. Anyway, Kira might just be my favorite vanilla SWTOR companion. Playful, snarky, but still goodhearted and brave. And throughout the years, she'd still remained a favorite, both character and romance wise. I know, master/apprentice stuff, but I never see the Knight as her master. I see them more as Jedi partners (and perhaps more) if anything. I really like how you do help her overcome her past trauma and develop into a more responsible figure. Honestly, making her Bisexual in Onslaught was a chad move...if only BioWare did that for other companions. Conclusion

Holy fuck, that was a lot! Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this ranking. If you disagree, please don't flame me for my opinions, or else I will cry. instead, tell me how you'd change the rankings and what your favorites are.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 6 - SMUT

bang a gong (get it on) by Anonymous

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 4,433 Tags: Heartbeat Kink, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Kink Discovery

Summary: Steve pulled back from the punching bag and wiped a beefy arm across his face. That amount of sweat would be disgusting on anybody else, but he was breathing hard and grimacing like he was in pain. His mouth was wide open as he dragged air into his superhuman lungs, and the thought of how those pretty red lips would look stretched around Tony's cock was chased out by the realization that in the aftermath of a workout, Steve's heart would be hammering. Steve Rogers' heartbeat was officially hotter than blowjobs.

Reasons why I love it: Steve is so goddamn earnest in this, it makes my heart melt every time. And poor Tony being so helpless in the face of his kink is amazing to see. Their characterizations are spot on, and the smut is hot as hell. Also, I'd never heard of a heartbeat kink before I read this, but now I can't stop thinking about it. Definitely check this one out, it's wonderful!

Salute by devlandiablo

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 2,649 Tags: Sex Toys, Dom/Sub, Orgasm Denial

Summary: After getting the serum, Steve thought he could no longer orgasm. Whether masturbating, getting a friendly handjob, or sleeping with a woman during the war, he just could not get there, leaving him frustrated. He found some satisfaction from the build-up, but not enough, and eventually just stopped even trying to have sex. Then, by some happy accident or by letting his partner use his body, he discovers that he can come through prostate stimulation, and suddenly he's horny as hell and eager to come over and over again.

Reasons why I love it: There's something really fucking hot about Steve going crazy for a toy in his ass. Especially with the way it's portrayed here, with the Helix, which I actually went on to research a little after I read this. The more you know. Anyway, this fic is amazing, and I'd recommend that you give it a read yourself!

Love Handles by fohatic

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 5,768 Tags: Getting Handsy, Hair-pulling, Wall Sex

Summary: Steve notices that Tony really likes to grab onto certain parts of him. He thinks it's just a sex thing, but, like most things with Tony, nothing's ever that simple.

Reasons why I love it: This fic is so goddamn sweet. Steve learning more about Tony and then going about what he's found out in a respectful and considerate way? Fuck yes, more of that please. I love this one so much, you should definitely check it out!

Marital Bliss by nativemossy

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 2,201 Tags: Honeymoon, Magic, Intercrural Sex

Summary: When Steve and Tony finally get some time all to themselves on their wedding night they planned on having a little bit of fun. Loki's wedding "gift" runs the risk of ruining those plans.

Reasons why I love it: Loki is such a little shit, and on Stony's wedding night too. But to be fair, it made them go the intercrural route which I'm always in favor of. This fic is both funny and sweet and really, really hot, so if you haven't read it, please go and check it out!

The Panic Room by fohatic

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 5,777 Tags: Semi-Public Sex, Secret Relationship, Possessive Steve

Summary: Later in the evening, while the charity ball at the old NYC Stark Mansion is in full swing, nobody can seem to locate the prestigious event's celebrity host... Steve volunteers to track him down, though he may already have a better idea of where Stark is hiding than he lets on.

Reasons why I love it: I really like the whole premise of this fic, the trust that it shows between them. And possessive Steve is always a treat, especially when Tony is so happy to cater to what he needs. Plus, Tony sticking it to reporters and Everhart in particular makes me unreasonably happy. So yeah, I love this one, go and read it if you haven't already!

[poetryandfluffycats]

i love the keito x delinquent reader!! keito loved his gf, he truly does!! but he also couldn't ditch his VP tasks (both are important to him TT)

if you wouldn't mind, i really want to see what happens after that 🥺

A/N: this took longer than I expected! wasn't originally going to make this as suggestive as it is but it is what it is I guess. part 2 to Dearer than I?

Pairing: Keito Hasumi x fem!reader

Content: Is your boyfriend just too busy for you now? That's the conclusion you nearly come to before your phone rings, revealing Keitos name...

Warnings: VERY suggestive, angst(?) at the start, phone sex, princess used as pet name, very brief mentions of cheating(?)

Words: 964

Oneshot under cut!

Guilty as Sin?

You tossed your bag to the floor, kicking your shoes off and collapsing onto your bed. A dramatic sigh left your lips as you pulled your pillow up to your chest, squeezing it tightly in attempt to get rid of that horrible, empty feeling in your stomach. It didn't work, nothing would work. Only Keitos kisses, his touch, his sweet nothings whispered into your ear could ease your pain.

But he was just... too busy for you.

It was childish, you knew that. To be upset over a man not giving you enough attention, like a needy baby who didn't know how to share. But you were in love, goddammit! It was only natural to want to spend time with the person you loved the most in this whole world, even if Keito didn't seem to think so. Just how busy could one person be, anyway? He didn't have to do all of that work alone, couldn't the other council members help him out? Couldn't you help him out?

Maybe what you said had been right. What if he simply didn't love you anymore? What if he had found someone new, someone just as prim and proper as him. Someone prettier, someone who didn't bother him, someone-

Buzz

The sound of your phone going off took you out of your saddened state, turning over to grab the device vibrating on your desk. The screen lit up, revealing a series of texts from none other than your green-haired lover. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

Keito<3: I'm sorry, princess

Keito<3: Can I call you?

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, reading the messages over and over like a lovesick schoolgirl and wasting no time typing out a response. His petname for you always made you blush, no matter how many times you heard it.

(name): i was just thinking of u ;)

(name): call meeeeee

Within a mere second of sending the text, the phone began to buzz once more, with Keitos picture and contact name lighting up the screen. You didn't hesitate to answer, holding the phone up to your ear and swallowing hard to try and contain your excitement, and to block out the nerves still running wild in the back of your mind.

"Hey, you~" You greeted, putting on the most seductive tone you could muster. It was a cheap shot, but a shot nonetheless. Hey, maybe if you could get him so drunk on your voice, he'd drop the whole "having fun is above me" thing and come ravage you!

Delusion, that's what you had.

"Princess" He sighed. Relief was evident in his tone, although that hint of disappointment still remained. "I'm sorry"

You hummed, flipping over onto your stomach and twirling a strand of hair in between your fingers. "You already said that, silly. But... apology accepted~"

"Mhm, so you're feeling better?"

"Your voice always cheers me up" You giggled, kicking your legs back and forth like a love struck schoolgirl. God, you were down bad for this man. "Can I see you tonight?"

The voice you put on left no room for speculation, a very blatant invite for him to come fuck you dumb. Maybe it could be a punishment for your disruptive behaviour, a reminder of who was in charge? The idea all but caused a heat to rise in your lower belly, and suddenly the room was a lot hotter than before.

Keito sighed on the other line, and you could almost see him pushing up his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose in disapproval. "I wish I could, princess, I really wish I could. But-"

"Please! I'll be good for you, just a quickie?" You whined, dropping the prostitute act for a split second and reverting back to the needy and desperate girlfriend. "I need you! Just a taste, please!?"

There was silence for a few seconds, going on long enough that you thought the line had gone dead. But then, just as you were about to speak up, Keito interrupted, a low growl erupting from his throat.

"Listen to me, (name)" He began, the sudden harshness in his tone making you freeze. It reminded you of when he snapped at you before, expect this time there was something less laced in there. Something... lustful? "Because of your little stunt earlier, I haven't been able to finish any of my work"

Oh shit.

"I suppose you can't help it, can you? You don't understand half of what I'm responsible for, do you? Of course not, all you can think about is getting dick"

Fuck, was this really turning you on?

"I'm going to need you to get yourself ready for me, alright? If you can be good and touch yourself for me, I'll give you a nice reward, okay?"

"A-and if I don't?" You breathed, already turning over and pulling open your top draw.

Inside, a bright pink bullet vibrator, a full bottle of lube, and a pack of condoms sat. You'd brought them awhile ago under the impression Keito would be fucking you 24/7, but alas, they'd never been touched.

Until now.

Keito clicked his tongue, a laugh leaving his lips. "Then I guess you'll just have to suffer, just like I do every time you come in here to seduce me. Do you know how hard it is to focus when a thing like you is in front of me begging for it?"

"Its hard for me too, you big bully!" You whined, already shimmying out of your skirt and panties and tossing the fabric to the floor, revealing the glistening state of your thighs and folds. Had you gotten this wet just from his voice?

Pathetic.

This was going to be a long night.

[gaystayzennie]

NSFW Johnny A-Z

(gender neutral reader) Remember that this is purely fictional, and not necessarily an accurate description of the members

Aftercare (How/ How much)

Johnny would absolutely worship you. God tier after care from this man for sure. Cleans you up with the softest touch, and speaks softly to you the whole time. Complimenting you and making sure he soothes you if you’re extra worked up after. Offers to run you a bath and do all the work for you if you need it. Will cuddle you to sleep and place soft kisses all over your face while you fall asleep in his arms.

Body parts (fav on self and partner)

Let’s face it you’re probably shorter than him because he’s just so tall. Since you’re so tiny your head is the easiest for him to reach and he loves placing kisses on the top of your head, playing with your hair, cupping your face in his hands, etc.

He also definitely likes smacking your ass every chance he gets. Even in public, if no one is looking, you better believe he’s gonna quickly smack it. He just can’t resist it.

On himself, he’s proud of his whole physique honestly because we all know that Johnny works out a lot. He’s toned af and he knows it only makes him even hotter.

Cum (where/how etc)

He seems like the type to want to come inside you. Whether that be down there or in you mouth, he loves the feeling of filling you up and sharing the intimate/lewd moment.

Dirty Secret (wants to try, or embarrassing incident)

Wants to try cockwarming but won’t ask you about it because he knows you love his usual aftercare. Doesn’t wanna take that away from you by staying inside of you instead of cleaning you up after.

Experience 

You canNOT convince me this guy hasn’t had sex. No way on planet earth Johnathon hasn’t slept with at LEAST one person. I wouldn’t be surprised if he lost his virginity in high school. Sorry not sorry 🙄✋

He definitely knows his way around. Could def eat someone out with ease because he’s totally done it before.

Favorite Position

Y/N while watching a game on tv with Johnny: Babe what’s your favorite position? J: Any position where I can see you squirming under me

y/n smacking his chest: shut up Johnny! I was asking about soccer you whore. 🙄

fr though I can definitely see this man choking you and just generally liking any position where you look particularly submissive. LOVES when you ride him too though.

Goofy (how serious/goofy during sex)

Not afraid to make fun of you a little during sex, but he takes things pretty seriously for the most part. Might laugh or smirk at you if you’re acting super needy for him. But he means business when he’s fucking you.

Hair (how groomed + preferences)

Might shave on occasion if he feels like it, but usually can’t be bothered. Couldn’t care less whether you’re shaved. Will absolutely go down on you either way.

Intimacy (romantic/rough etc.)

Ugh sex with Johnny would just be so freaking good 😩😩

You will be on your knees for this man. He has such a way with words and has your ears turning red instantly once he starts sweet talking you. Flirts with you and teases you constantly throughout out the night until your begging. Fucks you good and hard once you’re both too horny to hold back. So good to you and makes things amazing and exciting for you both every single time.

Jack off (how often)

Doesn’t really need to Jack off anymore once you guys start dating because he can just ask you for sex whenever he needs it. Will 100% invite you to watch him though if he ever does feel the urge to jerk off.

You once asked him for phone sex which made him laugh at you. He made fun of you until he realized you were being serious. He immediately obliged once he figured out you weren’t joking at all. Enjoyed it even more than you.

Kinks 

Nothing too wild. He loves to dominate you in any way you ask him to though. Whether it be choking, bondage, or orgasm control, he loves to make you squirm under his control. You guys have a safe word though because he wants to be absolutely sure that it’s never too much for you even if you’re the one who usually requests things.

Location (fav place)

Anywhere that will let you both be loud. He makes a lot of noise, and more importantly makes you make a lot of noise.

Usually takes you to his room when the other members are all gone or at least far enough away they won’t hear anything. Sometimes leads you to the shower for a little extra noise to cover up your moans.

Motivation (turn ons)

Absolutely melts when you initiate things. If you start kissing his neck he will scoop you up and carry you off to the bedroom so fast.

If you’re a little too bold though he’ll tease you and put you in your place. He secretly likes seeing you try to flirt with him though and thinks it’s hot how horny you are for him.

No (turn-offs or wouldn’t be into)

Like I said, he’s a true dom. He definitely prefers to be the one in control and wouldn’t be a fan of you trying to take the lead. He might let you try for a second, but very quickly puts you back in your place.

Oral (preferences)

Taught you everything you know about sucking dick. He knows what he likes and being sucked off is definitely something he likes. So he makes sure you know how to do it properly. Giving him a bj is often the beginning of a long night for the two of you.

Call him the pussy/dick king cuz he knows what he’s doing. Tongue game is so strong. He will have you cumming in seconds.

Pace (how fast/rough)

Knows how to take his time fore sure. Good luck lasting the whole night cuz he’s gonna fuck you good and slow all night long.

Quickie (thoughts on quickies)

He would 100% be down for a quicky. He’ll slip away to the bathroom with you anytime and rock your world as quickly as possible. Would come back so causally too. No one would know what you guys had been doing just seconds ago when you return to the rest of the group until they saw your dazed face.

Risk (how risky)

Johnny figures the members all already know what you guys have been up to, so he’s not afraid to slip away with you even when the boys are just a room over. If someone walks in he won’t be ashamed at all. Will yell at them to get out of course, but he’s not that embarrassed.

Stamina (how long + how many rounds)

Lasts too long for your own good. He’ll keep asking you to go another round until you have to beg him to stop because you just can’t take it anymore. Would fuck you all day long if he could.

Toys (own or use any)

I can see him using vibrators on you for sure. He loves to pleasure you and he loves to control your orgasms, and a toy would just make it that much easier. He knows he’s good in bed too, so he doesn’t feel undignified using toys at all.

Unfair (how much teasing)

Makes fun of you all the time for being in heat. If you start dry humping him or even straight up tell him you’re horny, he would definitely tease you for it before giving in. The type to make you beg for things and tell you to “use your words”.

Volume (volume during sex)

Grunts a lot if he’s fucking you and sighs in pleasure when you’re jerking/sucking him off. Usually lets you do all the moaning though and tends to talk to you a lot during sex.

Wild card

If you have a dick:

Once requested you let him ride you instead for a change. He was still topping you and taking the lead of course, but he rode the shit out of you. Had both of your eyes rolling back in your heads. You clawed at his back the whole time as he rode you at an animalistic pace. Wore the scratches on his back proudly the next day as you and the neos went swimming at the beach.

If you get periods:

He read up on periods just for you because he knew you get awful cramps every month. He found an article that said orgasms can help relieve the pain, and he convinced you to try. You were a little shy at first because you knew you’d be getting blood all over his torso and his member, but he assured you he didn’t mind at all. You guys found out that day that the article was definitely correct. Whether it be the pain relief or just the distraction, you definitely felt better than usual that day.

X-ray (length, girth, curve)

Big. dick. energy. Do I even need to say more? He’s definitely above average in both girth and length. From his height to his energy, all signs point to B I G D I C K.

Yearning (sex drive/ hornieness)

If he wasn’t so busy you guys could honestly have sex everyday. He has self control of course and doesn’t spend all his time being horny. But if you ever want him to fuck you…he’s there.

Zzz (how fast to fall asleep after)

He doesn’t get that tired even after a long night. If you want him to stay up with you and talk or watch something he’ll be so down. But if you want to sleep, he’ll sing you to sleep, stroke your hair, tell a story, or do whatever you might need to lull yourself to sleep. Probably won’t fall asleep for a while after you, but he doesn’t mind at all.

[dirty-urie]

Diamonds and Daggers: a Ramble

This is a mess I don’t know what to tell you

First of all, I’m obviously interpreting most of the this song as literally sexual. Yes, it has deeper meanings, but i really don’t think it’s a straight up metaphor for getting fucked over by the music industry the whole time. I’m interpreting it like this because I’m horny! But also because I think it does Brendon a disservice to ignore what he’s explicitly (…very …explicitly) trying to communicate with the lyrics at face value. This song, I believe, was written for PFTW, that album is a love letter to vegas, reflecting on his youth from a place of success. A significant part of his Vegas youth and early success was his sex life. Obviously 😂 I have a whole blog about his sex life. So there’s some truth to it. Also, Brendon has always been very autobiographical in his writing, so I wouldn’t he surprised if almost everything comes from a place of real life experience, even if his main purpose is to communicate the punishing, addictive nature of his career.

Anyway. This is a bad time to tell you guys I’ve always had a slight masquerade mask kink 😂 they just make people hotter. I’ve started appreciating the emotional intimacy intimacy side of sex so so much more in the last year and a half or so as I’ve been unpacking trauma and forming strong bonds with who I’m attracted to, but fuck if the thought of having a no-holds-barred all night fuckfest with a mysterious stranger doesn’t sound pretty appealing 😂 especially a man even though I generally fantasize about women. Maybe it’s because men are already sub-human to me, so a faceless jacked sex slave to wordlessly do my bidding sounds perfect (THATS A JOKE DONT CANCEL ME)

(He’s a baby in this gif and therefore unsexy but you get the picture)

This song is what I envision when I think of early-to-mid-twenties Brendon on sexy Vegas romps (and the overly sexualized picture of Vegas in general… not just the sad expensive dusty desert town it normally is in reality. I mean, it’s fun, but normally not sexy sexy like you would wish it was.) Debauchery and anonymity and eagerness certainly. Beyond the physical setting of Vegas, I feel like d&d (unfortunate abbreviation), calls on some of his early touring days. A blur of substances and hotel rooms and more substances and sensations pretty people he’ll never see again in a good way. I love the submission and masochism, first of all because it’s so so so Brendon, but also because it depicts his… I’m not sure the right wording. Lack of maturity? Inexperience? Naivety of the time? Maybe self-doubt? It’s not quiiiiiite immaturity in the way But It’s Better depicts immaturity (shitty cocktails and naively believing you can find emotional fulfillment in meaningless sex. While there’s some sense of sex and booze dulling the pain, it’s different somehow. Less overt? Maybe it’s the ever-present sense of self-satisfaction, even when he wakes up alone in an alley, he’s still thinking of the taste of her. I think a lot of it could be that this song was looking back on naivety while BIBIYD was written during a place of strong naivety still. The boys had likely never actually been to a strip club at the time nor formed serious connections with sexual partners.) I mainly get a sense of deference to his partners as he’s assuming they’re older and/or more experienced and can show him the best way to a good time. In addition, the concept of novelty comes into play too there. If he lets a bunch of different people show him the way, he’ll learn a bunch more than if he’s leading them. I also love the line “I thought I’d seen it all ’til you dropped me to my knees”, mainly because it’s hot, but also because it really captures the awe and inexperienced naivety of young, exploratory sex. “You’re telling me there’s more?! 🫦🤤” Plus the “tell-tale heart” line tells me he was probably putting on a facade of confidence while nervous and/or embarrassingly excited deep down, which is another hint at immaturity and inexperience. It’s possible the heart mention is meant to imply more yearning for a deeper connection beyond the sex, but idk. It’s a demo so I’m not going to look too deeply into the lyrics themselves as they could just be drafts and placeholders without muchhhh meaning. It could also be a more tasteful way to bring up arousal. The words “tell-tale” make me think of him trying to play things aloof with a woman or other partner while obviously achingly hard. I’m sure there’s a connection to the Poe poem (the poe-m if you will), but I don’t know if it goes deeper than wordplay with the title.

B’s verified comment on But it’s better. Also the stripping story is wild and a little sad but I digress

I’ve always loved the juxtaposition of seedy shit (I’ve been fucked in many a shitty motel and apartment, and I have the most messed up nostalgia and romanticization of that time) and a classy facade, which I feel like the song really encapsulates. The black tie almost-eyes-wide-shut-esque orgy/S&M sex club, the velvet rope, waking up stumbling and fucked well, even the iconic “silk tie tourniquet” alluding to shooting up using nice clothes hbjjjsjsjk (I’m a recovering addict for those who don’t know and drug imagery+sex either makes me really horny because it’s double appealing or I go into a full blown panic attack because extremely iffy consent 😂 a fun Russian roulette game I play. But this imagery is appealing). Basically nice clothes scattered across the floor while debauchery takes place (I have a formal wear kink also if that wasn’t clear).

I’m obsessed with the hunger and desperation. We always knew Brendon to be a horny bastard, especially teens (ew I know) through late twenties. He still desires and enjoys sex now of course of course. But it’s slower, more about relishing emotions and forging emotional intimacy (for example, MOAB’s make-up/break-up sex depicted the emotional effect of sex on a relationship, the yearning to be physically close to make up for everything else. Sugar Soaker is playful moans and flirty teasing, probably drawing at least some inspiration from Sarah and his sex with her. But both songs certainly take sex… not for granted, but not as something he thinks he needs more than oxygen.) this song however. It’s a visceral biological NEED and that’s clear. It’s not making love, it’s fucking… hard (I did not mean to reference 50 shades 😂 but I realized I was as I was typing.) “wanna taste it all,” “beg and crawl,” “til I choke,” “starvin’”. Even as he’s fucking, its never enough: “louder, faster.” (I wonder if that’s his request or his partners’ for him. I assume he’s often the one penetrating [certainly not always. Pegging, fingering, etc. Not my thing but you do you. He says he’s never had penetrative sex with a man and I believe that just because why would he lie when he’s told us so much about his sex life already?], so it makes more sense coming from a partner he’s fucking. but could be a request coming from him during a blow/handjob, being ridden, impact play, aforementioned buttstuff, grinding, so it’s certainly not a given. I like the ambiguity, plays into the vibe of sex coming from everywhere and surrounding his life. Maybe he doesn’t even know who’s begging, just knows everyone fucking needs it. Maybe two people are fucking next to him and they’re requesting more, who knows? Not them and not me 😂) It also shows Brendon eager to please which I love. Lots of oral talk. That makes it clear that he’s desperate for more than just a quick orgasm despite the frenzy. He wants the new sensations, the skin-on-skin fervor, the satisfying moans of pleasure as you make someone come hard on your face (i miss eating pussy 😭😭😭😭😭😭) I feel like baby Brendon and modern Brendon fuck for the same length of time, the main difference is just that baby Brendon comes at least twice and sometimes early on, and elderly Brendon comes once at the very end when Sarah is tapped out and quivering and the sheets are soaked and fuck I’m going to come, someone sit on my face. My mouth is watering. It’s like baby Brendon is rushing to have more sex as he’s already deep into someone’s cunt. Nothing is ever quite enough. Like shoveling your face at a buffet even though you’re surrounded by food.

BAHAHAHAHA how did he say this with a straight-face

There’s definitely some slight hyperbole. While I’m sure he did attend orgies and get fucked hard against walls, there’s omission of the real-life awkward moments and human connection. It’s a high-light reel. Even the waking up in an alley moments are glamorized somehow. Like, he had bad haircuts and rotted on filthy tour buses and jerked off alone to shitty porn and had awkward embarrassing moments too back then. It wasn’t all underground sex parties. But I’m sure, especially in retrospect, some times just felt like a blur of bodies. It reminds me of hey look ma a bit, especially the music video, just going as hard as you can until you break down

While, again, I’m not analyzing anything too too deep (mostly I’m too sleepy and horny and a little sad tonight to be doing anything with my brain), I do want to touch on the phrase “Diamonds and Daggers” itself because it’s the title. It does kind of sound like words Brendon thought sounded good together and used as a place holder without much meaning, but I think at the very least, he’s talking about a carrot and stick type thing. He wants the good and the bad equally, pain with pleasure. This sort of plays into the idea of getting off on the very idea of depravity and sin so he wants it all. Also of course, it’s a metaphor for the music industry. I know I’m taking these lyrics very seriously and I appreciate the double entendres but I’m sorry, I’ve heard about his love-hate relationship with his job a billion times. I haven’t heard him getting strapped to walls a billion times. Fuck me 🤤 Also im autistic so literal meanings are easier for me 😂

There’s something about this song that is exactly what I’ve been wanting. It has the Vegas vibes that are a little deeper than just TWTLTRTD (which leaves a lot to the imagination but nothing is explicit. Calling himself a libertine, letting us imagine the sordid details of a casual affair, a FWB situation with Ms. Jackson, ggb about a threesome, partying in Vegas lights, a desperate hooked feeling about a person in nicotine, an obviously partially physical love affair throughout collarfull.) The lyrics to the original Vegas Lights sort of scratched the itch as they were more explicit but they were still more about generally being young in a party town. D&d has more art to it than MOAB or Sugar Soaker, which, while songs about sex, are kind of “I FUCKING LOVE HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE IM SO FUCKING FAMOUSSSS” (Sugar Soaker sounds like a demo to me. I’m dead serious. I like it, but you can hear Viola’s influence and I don’t love him.) Honestly, as much as Panic! Is a sexy band who sings (sang 🥲) about sex, it’s normally in the context of an affair or relationship or shrouded in deeper meanings about the music industry or the nature of relationships. While this song certainly has that, it’s less annoying about it 😂 and like, the lyrics themselves are arousing I guess. That’s what it boils down to. While I might get aroused listening to casual affair and imagining him fucking me in secret while we sneak around, none of the lyrics themselves make me wet and desperate. These are different. And while I’m sure the initial thrill will wear off, it’s still a different effect than his slightly subtler songs

I wonder why this one was scrapped and adapted into Roarin 20’s (and I’m sure influenced other songs. Like hey ma.) I mean, it’s possible and likely this was always just a demo for him to capture the PFTW thematic and auditory vibe of reflecting on his wilder Vegas youth, and would never ever ever move beyond this anyway in the form of a song. But still, he wrote this sexy song for a reason. Could have been he was feeling nostalgic and horny but a reason nonetheless. He went as far as to record it, I do wonder if he wanted to make an explicitly sexy song for that album. I mean, it does fit well with the hedonism and music industry critique and pain and pleasure of pftw. But maybe he had to tone it down by label request or he didn’t want to feel to exposed (a good call considering a few atrocious fans during that tour) or maaaaaaybe even Sarah but I doubt it. She respects his art to the point that I don’t think she’d intervene unless it was explicit detail that obviously pertained to her (maybe why sugar soaker was toned down, but again, I think that’s just viola’s vibe). Or he just didn’t love it? I like that we’re getting it in demo form only personally. I’ve always sort of had issues with some of Brendon’s production and it’s easier to just say “it’s a demo, it’s going to sound a little bit shitty” than “THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER AGH 😭😭😭” plus it’s more intimate. I wouldn’t exactly want to see him sing this live (well maybe once but that’s just to see his face and body as he sings it. But not every night.) and while I’d like a music video because I can see this song SO CLEARLY in my mind 😂 there isn’t one that would satisfy me short of straight up porn (and then I wouldn’t like it still because of the ethical ramifications so 😂 maybe if it was simulated sex with a qualified intimacy coordinator and also we get to see his actual naked body including his cock then I’d be happy enough. But still nothing he could put on YouTube.)

But speaking of a music video, I do want to translate it into another medium. Maybe a fic? Especially if it was a bunch of tiny vignettes and less of a traditional fic. Or maybe just more inspiration for my longer form fic. I can’t really draw but I could trace certain elements into cohesive visuals or try painting. I would consider commissioning an artist but I’m poor, and again, I see this so clearly in my head. So I’m worried an artist would butcher my mental image.

To conclude (for now), a list of lyrics that made me dizzy in a good way in no particular order (it may just be all of it lol):

Strapped to the wall

Louder, faster

You dropped me on my knees (SO GOOD FUCK)

Pull me back into the black-tie masquerade

One hundred perfect bodies, zero names

Evening gowns and eye holes, no taboos

I wanna taste it all

Could move it to the mattress if you want (mmmm submissive man, tumbling into bed together, yes 🫦)

The taste of you that’s left inside my mouth

Lock me up and keep your name under my tongue (it’s a shame this one never made it into any real panic songs. It’s clever enough and it works well with a lot of Brendon’s ideas. Codependency, addiction, more about the music industry.)

[bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls]

The Daily Dad

Things you might want to know, for May 16, 2023:

Frank Miller Wolverine variant cover ignites Twitter debate — It’s ugly. It’s not interesting. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a legitimate, thoughtful piece of art. That’s just where Miller’s head is at these days, for better or worse.

Invisible creatures are having sex on your face — while you sleep — Your pores are literally cum dumpsters. Let that sink in.

New study puts a definitive age on Saturn's rings: They're really young — Some day they’re going to run away from home, and then Saturn will really be sorry.

The Immortal Myths About Online Abuse — Dash has always had lots of very confident opinions about matters he considered settled as soon as he developed an opinion. Which means he tends to be half-right about things, as he is here.

7 men, 1 depraved sex network: Unravelling the full story behind the wife-sharing drug rapes

Justified returns July 18 but WHAT is going on with Raylan’s hat? — A studded hatband is Raylan Givens’ idea of exploring an alternative lifestyle.

Twitter Fights Over Who’s Hotter: Young Al Pacino Or Young Robert DeNiro — Al’s worst looks were/are worse than Bobby’s, but when sufficiently cleaned up and styled, Pacino is better looking.

Artist creates everyday objects out of Lego

San Francisco women named Thor Kill sentenced to prison for possession of bomb-making supplies, ammunition — And now she just has to hope she doesn’t run into Zeus Rape at the correctional facility.

The Fanfic Sex Trope That Caught a Plundering AI Red-Handed

Archer’s superspy adventures are finally coming to an end after the series’ 14th season — I’m slightly sad, but mostly content. I more or less gave up on the show during Sterling’s coma, and while I’ve tried fighting my way through, it’s a struggle… they’ve never recovered the weird sincerity that once underpinned all the snark the show serves up.

Why are so many young Americans adopting fake British accents?

Double-screen ‘free’ TV will show you ads, even when not in use — Okay, so, the ONE thing I like here: the second screen keeping their ads off the content. (A handy way of avoiding lawsuits from content publishers.) Everything else about this whole idea is a surveillance nightmare that —sadly— might actually be successful.

MTV News Confidential: Kurt Loder, Tabitha Soren, and John Norris Tell All

Dedicated player builds Gundam in Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom — I remember having the kind of time and focus it would take to come up with this shit. Barely. Wow.

Kanye West files trademark for socks that are also shoes — Excuse me, Ye? I believe Mr. Bundy has a concept you’re going to love…

'Avatar: The Way of Water' is coming to Disney+ and Max on June 7th — Does this mean I have to re-watch the first one? Should I take it as an omen that I really don’t want to re-watch the first one?

Woman busted with 1,500 grams of cocaine hiding behind her fake pregnancy belly

Why Gen Z loves Seinfeld — …when did this happen? I approve, but given Millennial indifference to the show, I’m surprised.

Cash App founder Bob Lee was part of an underground party scene of sex and drugs called 'The Lifestyle' prior to his death, report says — This just keeps getting wilder and wilder.

[thepoehoes]

hello hi welcome to unhinged recaps. todays’s episode is chapter 18 aka tears are streaming down my face.

of course we start off this page with Annabella immediately getting chomped on by her big body built rogue boyfriend because what other way is there to start this? did you expect normal circumstance? you seriously need to stop doing that.

so, Mr. Scorpion wants to play a lil game with Bella, he’s always been a fan of twister and wants to put her ass through the works. he’s a fucking weirdo but he’s hot so it’s okay. anyways, he’s got a grip on her and starts whispering something about “little rabbit” as if we aren’t in the room.

like, sir, aren’t you watching where you’re going? don’t you see us right here? keep your possessive little prey nicknames to yourself idc how hot they are.

he’s pulling all these touchy talky tactics and Bella is going through it. you’d think that someone like her who is already in the trenches because, let’s not forget, her mom is literally missing and doing fuckall in the middle of nowhere, would be like “mm get off” but no. Bella is thriving. good for her.

Damon, being a large gremlin, is getting his hands all over her which they both enjoy. he’s acting like a man dying of thirst with the way he’s kissing her. someone get this man real water before he gets cotton mouth bro i stg.

all his kissing, touching, and sucking has got Bella trembling like a literal leaf. her body is electrifying itself, she’s overheating, she’s combusting and exploding at the seems. she is hotter then the drama between Lana del Rey and Lorde all because Damon’s got both magic fingers and magic tongue. bro is a wizard.

Damon’s got Bella in the hot tub and he’s legit right in between her legs, she’s spread eagle like Patrick Star in fishnets. He’s down there having the time of his life being a sex God or some shit but he wants more. he wants to hear Bella beg a little but ofc it’s never that simple.

Bella is not one to beg, she ain’t no little bitch. she’s a soldier who can take her pleasure into her own hands so she attempts, keyword being attempts. legit the second her fingers touched her own clit Damon gets more offended than white girls who didn’t get those Valentine’s Day Stanley cups.

she is, quite literally, shaking in need but Damon doesn’t give a shit. if she didn’t say please, his tongue would simply leave the function (her clit) and she’s be stuck there for ages. after some denial and pinning down though Bella gives in and lets out that little please Damon’s been hounding for.

you get the picture at this point. sex freaks start doing sex things. Damon worships Bella both inside and out, she figures out she can squirt and nearly drowns the whole god damn building, then they get out the water and go to their room.

now, I wanna point out that at this point in the story we don’t get much of Damon’s history other then the gang he’s in and his dads a cunt. when he plops Bella onto the bed she gets a good look at his back and what does she see? scars. whip scars.

bro has whip scars like he’s James Alexander Malcom Mackenzie Fraser, the old scotland special.

anyways, it’s drama. drama trauma drama, very sad shit is said. not only is Damon’s dad a dick he is also an abuser. i wish death upon this man but that’s too merciful so we need to come up with a better plan.

after they have their little turmoil moment they pass tf out and sleep like normal people. this is the most normal behavior i’ve seen either of them display the entire fucking book. next morning Bella wakes up wondering “hey where’s my big ass damn ass boyfriend” and assumes he’s downstairs whipping it up in the kitchen but uh oh, he’s not there. the other girlies are lingering around but Damon is no where in sight because ofc he isn’t. if this was normal circumstance, he’d be there but we established that normal doesn’t EXIST.

Bella asked the other members of The Bad Girls Club where her lil freak is and they tell her they’re not sure. they notice his car is gone and try to justify it, but that’s when the smart himbo aka JJ connects the dots and realizes that Damon isn’t just taking a stroll, he’s fucking missing.

immediately alarms go off. the white boy is gone, someone save him. oh, and JJ tells Bella that a group called Black Ace is ACTIVELY OUT FOR DAMON.

my brother in Christ, be so fucking for real. why admit this now? why wait 295839938 days to tell her that? literally get away from me.

now normally someone would call the cops, someone would call 911 to report Damon missing but we can’t do that. let’s remember these idiots, minus Bella and Maisie, are all part of a criminal gang because of course they are. have you been listening? ITS NEVER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCE.

back on track. everyone is in a panic, Bella is legit on the verge of a breakdown. she’s about to become as depressed as Bella Swan and we can’t have that. naturally, they pack up and haul off and JJ is honestly at more of a turmoil than Bella. he is truly about to flip the car but Maisie, being a boss ass bitch, tells him to chillax. they fly 90 down the road trying to figure out what’s wrong, where’s Damon, what’s happening. Bella thinks he’s dead, JJ is ready to rip heads off, Maisie is worried, and Matt just wants to go home.

#freematt2024

anyways, they find Damon’s crashed ass beat busted up Mercedes in the middle of some random field. ofc this happened, why wouldn’t it? he is prime crashing and kidnapping material, if I saw a face like his i’d snatch him up to. this isn’t about me kidnapping him tho, this is about the book.

so yeah, the car is found but Damon is no where to be seen. again. all he does is fucking disappear like dude, get a grip it’s not hard to stay in one place. seek church or therapy for your ghostly disappearing issues and stop pissing me off. i love him so much.

with no Damon in the broken car JJ, Matt, and Bella start tweaking because holy fuck he’s gone… and that’s where the chapter ends. you get no more context and instead we suffer until next chapter.

thank you for coming to the yap session, i am in your ceiling

- Sofi

(raven when i catch you)

[sarcastic-salem]

I’m starting to gravitate AWAY from Heathenry because of all the shitty infighting.

Like why is there a fucking contest about whether Loki is queerer than Odin?!

Being queer is not a fucking contest. The whole fucking pantheon can be queer.

And tbh everyone keeps talking about Odin being genderqueer, but I only remember him taking a female form twice and once was probably to fuck Loki. Its like point taken — Odin did change genders. But the only other time I can think of is when he transformed into a woman to learn seidr from Frigg.

And its like, yeah, it happened but Odin only ever did it for his own gain. The only other times I know about him changing shape was to transform into a hotter dude to get ladies or to intimidate someone stronger than him. But Odin was definitely queer, I know that much.

And Loki was queer.

Why does it have to be a fucking contest?

And like half of Lokasenna is Loki calling out Odin on his own hypocrisy. Like they accused each of enjoying sex as a woman. They called out each other for practicing seidr.

Loki is not evil because he got into an argument with Odin.

Like they loved each other for a long time. They were best friends. Until Odin kidnapped Loki’s children. I’m pretty sure that’s when Loki started to lose his shit.

I am so fucking tired of all of the anti-science bullshit, of people trying to paint Loki as a man hating lesbian or a homophobic asshole, or Odin devotees coming like, “Well, Loki is bad cause he did this!”

Like have you read the fucking Eddas?🤨

THEY WERE BROTHERS!

They had a fight but Ragnarok is a cycle of change. You want life to change you need Ragnarok. Which is really a way of saying that if you want to get your life together, then you need evolve — CHANGE — into a better person and Loki is there to guide you through that.

Its fucking infuriating that newb Heathens are falling for Odinist bullshit, and blaming Lokeans for shit we aren’t responsible for and don’t even believe in.

Like jesus fucking christ, we’re just trying to deal with the shit in our own community. And there are so many Lokeans that also honor and worship Odin. So why the fuck are you starting shit with us?

We don’t care what you do as long as you’re not a Nazi asshole. Go home and do your thing. Buy your altar statues or whittle them, listen to some Enya, light a joint, drink some mead. And actually fucking research and fact check the shit you’re listening to on the internet instead of blaming people for no fucking reason.

And this shit is like 99% of the reason why the Heathen community is shrinking.

[larcenywrites]

Before the Avengers moved in, Tony probably loved when you came to visit him in the gym to bring him some water and kisses. But after the Avengers, he lowkey feels very insecure when you come down to the gym because he's afraid you'll see how stronger and taller and hotter Thor and Steve are and not find him that hot and gorgeous and interesting anymore... also, they probably don't help his case and just start showing off as soon as you enter the gym (men 🙄). But when you come straight to Tony with his favorite Gatorade in hand and give him a very nice kiss and try to grab his butt he does feel a bit better... and then he feels your eyes on him the whole time, that's a huge ego boost right there. And then you basically drag him to the shower and either have shower sex or have a very nice foreplay and then you drag him to bed and have him fuck you senseless... so yeah, maybe it's not that bad. You help chase his insecurities away a lot more than you think :)

Oh but to sit by him in the gym for a bit, watching him work out and sitting by him to talk for a minute because he’s been busy all day 😌 and it’s very obvious he’s also trying to flex and show off even though you literally see him nude every day 🤭 but obviously it’s working because you’re still looking him over 😏 and then touching his chest before I leave and giving him a cheek kiss and quietly telling him that he should meet you in the shower when he’s done 😌😌😌😌