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along-came-atsushi · 4 years

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Fyodor’s Ability

This is probably the umpteenth theory written about Fyodor’s ability in this fandom. But I wanted to express my own thoughts I had in mind since reading/watching the story.

I’m curious which things in this theory will turn out to be wrong or right, when his ability gets revealed in the future.

[Beware: Some spoilers starting from chapter 77]

What we know so far:

1.) People are not able to protect themselves from Fyodor’s ability via clothing:

-> His ability relies on the fact that he has to touch his victims, but it doesn’t matter if it’s the bare skin or clothing.

2.) He’s able to change or remove certain emotions from people’s brains:

3.) Therefore, his ability seemingly has something to do with his victim’s brain, as they all die due to their heads exploding and the fact that he’s even able to alter/remove people’s emotions.

Things that are pretty unclear until now is whether Fyodor is able to control his ability or not, and which factor serves as trigger.

Possibilities:

1.) Fyodor is fully able to control his ability -> just like Akutagawa can control Rashomon.

2.) Fyodor is not able to control his ability and his ability reacts to any person he touches -> just like Dazai and his ability.

3.) Fyodor is not able to control his ability and his ability reacts on its own, but only in a certain situation -> The same problem Atsushi faced with his ability before joining the ADA. Another example is Yosano not having control over her ability when she gets heavily injured, or Odasaku’s ability activating whenever he’s in danger.

4.) Fyodor is able to control his ability, but his ability is still dependent on a certain situation in order to activate -> kinda like Kunikida can use Doppo Poet whenever he wants, but he needs his notebook for that. Chuuya can decide whenever he uses Corruption, but has no control over himself after that.

The confrontation with Ace:

- If we consider Possibility 1 (Fyodor being fully able to control his ability) then some things during the scene with Ace don’t make sense:

It’s weird that Fyodor needed to trick Ace into committing suicide. If he has full control over his ability, then he could’ve just simply touched Ace and the problem would’ve been finished. They were even completely alone in the room for a while and just sitting inches away from each other. Yet, Fyodor did not, for some reason, decide to touch Ace and kill him that way.

The reason for this could be simply because Fyodor loves to torture people by manipulating them and he did just that with Ace. But the whole set-up of playing that card game with him, telling Ace’s subordinate Karma something false about his ability, just for Ace to think that his ability has a different power, and then waiting for Ace to go nuts and commit suicide… a little bit too much work compared to a simple and quick touch.

Therefore, I doubt that it was just this reason alone. And Ace isn’t on the intellectual level that Dazai is, so that Fyodor would’ve enjoyed a “challenge” in outdoing him in his scheming.

It’s also different what he later does with the children. He needed to use those children in order to break Kunikida and impede the ADA.

- If we consider Possibility 2 (Fyodor is not able to control his ability and his ability reacts to any person he touches), then the scene with Karma doesn’t make sense:

-> Karma was able to touch Fyodor, but didn’t die back then. And as we know by now, people aren’t able to protect themselves from Fyodor’s ability via clothing.

With this there still remains Possibility 3 (Fyodor is not able to control his ability and his ability reacts on its own, but only in a certain situation) and Possibility 4 (Fyodor is able to control his ability, but his ability is still dependent on a certain situation in order to activate). Which brings us to the question:

Which factor triggers Fyodor’s ability?

What the name ‘Crime and Punishment’ could mean:

“Have you never wondered why my special ability doesn’t leave me in this fog? I am crime. I am punishment. Did you know? Crime and punishment are close friends. Borders vanish. Rooms awaken.”

“Crime and punishment are close friends.”

-> His ability could have something to do with guilt, since guilt is the worst punishment you can feel for your own crime.

Fyodor is well aware that the things he does are considered crimes, and despite his outer behaviour he feels guilty for the things he does or thinks he has to do.

The difference is that he believes he does it for the greater good and for humanity’s sake.

(And look at his face, he’s not exactly delighted about killing children.)

If his ability is based around guilt, then his victims also need to feel this certain emotion in order for Fyodor to use it. Or in other words, his ability gets triggered by this certain emotion. Considering the above where it’s explained that Fyodor must have some kind of semi-control over his ability (due to the whole Karma situation), then this means it belongs to Possibility 4 (Fyodor is able to control his ability, but his ability is still dependent on a certain situation in order to activate).

Having this theory in mind, then his confrontation with Ace has another meaning, other than Fyodor simply having fun with his mind games:

Ace does have zero regard for his subordinates, treating them like mere tools, literally calling them slaves. All this gets emphasized by his ability alone, that allows him to turn the life of a human (“trash” from Ace’s POV) into diamonds.

And Ace tells this Fyodor right off the bait, meaning with this information Fyodor knew that Ace didn’t feel any guilt about his actions (his crimes) and for his subordinates at all. If Ace doesn’t feel any guilt at all, from which Fyodor’s ability might be dependent on, then he wouldn’t be able to use it against him. Therefore, Fyodor couldn’t kill him by touching him, and needed to trick him.

Other possible hints for his ability being based on guilt are these:

Karma’s death:

-> Even though he had no power whatsoever over his upbringing and was sold as a slave since childhood, Karma still felt guilty for the things he had been doing since (or was forced to do), calling himself a bad person and seeing himself as unworthy of any help. Something which he personally revealed to Fyodor.

Ivan:

-> We don’t know what Fyodor’s “Happiness to the World” looks like. But Ivan must have had some kind of epiphany when Fyodor “removed the part of his brain that feels unhappiness”. Assuming that Fyodor is only able to remove the part of the brain that feels guilt, to which Ivan refers to as unhappiness, then people would indeed feel happier about their lives.

Nikolai:

-> Another character with a connection to Fyodor who mentions things like “emotions”, “freedom”, and “guilt”. Nikolai claims that Fyodor is the only one who truly understands him, so much that he even considers him a friend. Which means that Fyodor must’ve experienced something in his past similar to Nikolai and/or that he has the same notion as Nikolai (killing innocents for the greater good, living with the guilt of murder).

[Side note: Since Nikolai is planning to kill Fyodor now, Fyodor in return could be the one to actually kill Nikolai once and for all, simply confronting him with his guilt. Which would mean that in the end Nikolai would get his freedom by dying through Fyodor’s hands, freeing him from his emotions towards Fyodor and his guilt.]

[[Side side note: Even though I don’t want this to happen and hope it doesn’t end this way, because Nikolai is one of my fav characters. And he just respawned, it wouldn’t be fair, man! Everything… everything but the clown!]]

Why does Fyodor want to become God? His (possible) origin:

[Please keep in mind that the following is just mere speculation and just an example of what could’ve happened!]

Fyodor sees ability users as sinners and wants to rid the world of them. From his ideology this makes him a sinner too, because he himself is an ability user.

And maybe that is the reason why he so vehemently pursues this goal. Because he himself feels guilt for something he has done in the past.

An example for this would be:

Maybe someone close to him (his father or mother) accidentally killed someone (maybe through a car accident). And because of this they felt guilt over that person’s death.

Fyodor unaware and not in control of his ability at that time wanted to comfort this person close to him (through physical contact), which then led to him killing this person by accident in return.

A trauma like this could’ve been the source for his ‘ability users are sinners’ ideology and why he wants to change the world.

#Fyodor Dostoevsky #fyodor dostoevsky bsd #nikolai gogol bsd #ivan goncharov bsd #Bungou Stray Dogs #Nikolai Gogol #Ivan Goncharov #bsd meta #bsd theories #BSD #my metas #another meta that was in my drafts for a year or so

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seijorhi · 3 years

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asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

#ask #anon #rhi answers #ohh so many asks #i love you guys <33 #fic q's

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just-the-hiddles · 3 years

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Writer’s Spotlight | myoxisbroken

Happy hump day, peeps! This week’s spotlight is the queen of a historical fic, AU or canon. The maven of food porn in a fic. And the reigning champ of teasing me with smut @myoxisbroken ! Let’s dive in!!

The Basics

MASTERLIST HERE

Any other names you want people to call you?

Miss Ox, myox, whatever you feel like!

How long have you been writing fic?

2 years.

What fandoms and/ships do you write?

MCU (Loki, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes), other Tom Hiddleston characters (Pine, Conrad, Sharpe, Buxton, Nicholls, Plumptre, and ever-growing), and just branching out into Pedro Pascal with The Mandalorian; I also have a few Doctor Who fics in my Masterlist (Ten/Donna Noble)

How did you get started writing fic?

I was reading a ton of Doctor Who fic and enjoying the Doctor/River Song stories. Then I rewatched DW season 4 and was so depressed about Donna's ending that I immediately watched the David Tennant/Catherine Tate version of Much Ado About Nothing. And then I started to ship the Tenth Doctor and Donna.

So I read a bunch of their fic and thought, "You know what would be awesome? If someone wrote a WW2 AU where Donna's a single mother and the Doctor is an injured fighter pilot that she takes in as a boarder." And then I started to get snippets of dialogue in my head, and ideas for scenes, and I wondered if I might be able to write a story myself. I hadn't written anything in years, but I decided to give it a try. And a few months later, I had my first story completed, a 14-chapter Doctor Who AU.

After that, I had the writing bug and I haven't been able to stop coming up with ideas and working to put them into words!

Story Recommendations

Which of your stories are your favorite?

It is honestly so hard to choose. I'm only going to choose completed works, because I always love the WIPs I'm working on. So, let's see: You Bring Me Home is one of them, because it was so fun to just jump into a sexy vacation romp with some playful kink exploration for James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island). With Brooding Wings was my first attempt at a vampire story using multiple Tom Hiddleston characters, and I really enjoyed playing with the dynamics of different personalities and settings in that world.

In A Restless World Like This Is is another, because I had such a great time writing a fluffy love story for Steve Rogers and an older OFC. It started as a spite project because of someone's objections to older characters and turned into such a lovely experience. It was one of the easiest I've ever written in terms of how quickly it flowed from my brain through my fingers. I'd loved writing for Loki (An Excellent Suggestion was my first Loki story, and my first time writing smut) and for Bucky (We Are All Victims of Physics Sometimes was my first dip into capturing Bucky's quiet reserve and depth of emotion).

I honestly could go on and on about stories but would only sound more conceited.

Which story are you most proud of?

I think A Pursuit of the Heart. It was my first time writing in the Regency/Georgian era, and I did a TON of research for it. It was also my first novel-length story, and I didn't even know if I could take on something that big or write a historical romance convincingly, in a way that felt era-appropriate and true. I was so proud of the finished product.

Which of your stories do you think is the most underrated?

Let Your Heart Be Light, a Bucky/OFC story with a Christmas theme - its companion piece, Kissing The New Year In, also didn't get much traction. But I loved writing them!

Someone is new to reading your stories, which story/stories should they read first?

It depends on what actors and characters they like, really, as well as if they like smut or fluff or both. For a smutty one-shot, I'd recommend An Excellent Suggestion (which has a one-shot sequel). For a swoonier longer fic with smut, I'd recommend either You Bring Me Home or my fake relationship Steve Rogers fic The One Thing You Can't See.

For fluff, An Unforeseen Outcome is a Loki one-shot with both fluff and a little emotional hurt/comfort. Interestingly, I've written more not-smut fluff for Loki than for any other character. I think I just want him to find connection and love and acceptance so much.

And if you are a fan of historical romance, I'd recommend either my Thomas Sharpe AU A Compromising Situation, or if you like your fics with a healthy dose of angst, Beside Us When Beauty Brightens, my William Buxton (Return to Cranford) story about what happens after he loses Peggy.

Which Story did you do the most research for?

A Pursuit of the Heart, since it was my first one set in the Georgian era and I had a lot of catching up to do! I research for most of my stories, and definitely for my multi-chapter stories. Even if they're contemporary, I still look up resorts, locations, restaurants and local foods, things to do, etc. I can't help it. It's like I'm addicted to research.

Which Story was the easiest to write?

For a multi-chapter fic, In A Restless World Like This Is. For a one-shot, probably my Loki Christmas fluff All I Want For Christmas Is You.

The Writing Process

What is your favorite part of writing?

When a scene I've had in my head just flies out of my fingers and onto the page, and I can read it back and think, "YES! That's just how I wanted it!"

What is your least favorite part?

When my brain is too scattered and unfocused to actually allow me to do any writing.

Describe your style in 1 to 2 sentences.

Well-researched stories that use the information to make you feel like you're there and that incorporate sweetness into even the smuttiest scenario. Also, food porn, and porn porn.

Who are some of your writing idols and/or influences?

For published novels, Mary Balogh and Sabrina Jeffries are two of my favorite historical romance writers, and I think that reading them has helped to make my writing better. In terms of fic authors (some of whom are also published), @nildespirandum and @caffiend-queen were two of the first I read in the Tom/Loki fandom and their excellent quality and intriguing plots are an inspiration, even if I will never be able to write plots as twisty as theirs. Also, reading @yespolkadotkitty's stories helped me push myself to get better at setting scenes and at incorporating the various senses into stories, because she is so good at both of those things and so much else.

What programs do you use to write and/or edit?

I use Google Docs. I have also been dancing around buying Scrivener for an original novel I plan to write and shop around, so I'll be doing that soon.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Plotter, for sure. My brain would implode if I tried to pants my stories.

Do you write RPF or not?

I have a few chapters of a Tom Hiddleston RPF in draft form but haven't proceeded with it. I'd kind of like to write a Pedro Pascal RPF one-shot. I love reading RPF but feel odd about writing it for some reason.

Who is your favorite character to write and why?

Again with the tough questions! It might be Loki, because he is such a chameleon and there are so many hidden depths to him. I really want to write some multi-chapter Loki stories, because so far I have done one-shots and one 3-chapter short fic. I'd like to explore a longer character arc for him.

What do you think are your writing strengths?

Authenticity because of my research, realistically depicting emotions, and writing in a style that feels genuine to the setting and era.

What do you struggle with?

PLOT. I do think that there is plenty of room for all kinds of stories, and I like to tell stories about relationships. But I would like to get better at adding outside conflict and other types of plot to my stories.

Favorite Trope?

It's so hard to choose between There Was Only One Bed and Fake Relationship. I think those are my top two.

What is the best piece of writing advice you have heard?

Write something. Anything. Even if you think it's crap, get your first draft done, because you can always go back and rewrite something that's bad and make it better. Also, if you're stuck on your WIP, write something else - a piece of another story or one-shot, a description of something you saw, a character profile, a bit of personal journaling. Keep writing and don't let a temporary roadblock turn into a long-term one.

What would you say to a new fanfic writer starting out?

It's hard when something you wrote doesn't get a lot of attention, especially when you love it. We share stories in the hopes that other people will discover and enjoy them, but you have to at least partly do it for your own satisfaction, or it will get pretty discouraging if the likes/kudos, comments, and reblogs just don't happen.

What is a random bit of research you have not managed to work into a fic yet?

Ladies' drawers (underwear) were not commonly worn until the mid-1800s. They were thought to be gentlemen's garments and it was thus vulgar for a lady to wear them. Yes, ladies of the Georgian (incl. Regency) era were generally commando beneath their skirts, petticoats, and shifts. But that was still a lot of layers.

Any goals or WIPs you want to share?

My goal is to write an original novel (series) set during the Napoleonic Wars. My hope is to get it researched, written, and put in final draft form so that I can send query letters out before the end of 2021.

This or That

Fluff or Angst

Fluff AND Smut

Reader Insert or OC

Canon Divergent or AU

Pepsi or Coke (Neither: Cherry Coke Zero)

Coffee or Tea (Neither: Cocoa)

Sweet AND Savory

And that is it, until next week, remember to check out the masterlist here. And your new fav fic is just around the corner! Until next time, toodles!

#writer's spotlight #myoxisbroken #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #loki #loki fanfiction

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hello-yue-here · 3 years

Note

1) what's your favourite element and why

2) momo or appa

3) what got you into avatar (additionally: what made you keep watching it)

4) fav part of canon / canon info you will always ignore every single day

5) which adult do you think would vibe best with the gaang, not in a parental way, but like in a friends way

sincerely, bread bestie (p.s. you don't have to answer all of these lol i just wanted to give you options)

1) i think water because it can do so much. it can heal. it can turn to ice. it can be a weapon. it can be a cool party trick. it can do so much?? its so versitile just like water and i think that they way they modeled the bending is more than just ‘oh katara has water powers’ like the creators put a lot of thought into ALL kinds of bending but i think water is the most prominent examples of that because it rlly shows how flexible the element is through the many uses of bending. so yeah. water.

2) appa. i have two appa plushies in my room that two diffeeenr friends got me for mt bday without consulting one another and it was amzing. i love appe. momo is still wonderful but. appa my beloved

3) when the atla renaissance began, i saw it EVERYWHERE on my tiktok fyp even tho i had never shown any interest in any tiktoks ab it before. eventually i was like yk what this actually seems kinda good may as well give it a shot. and it was AMAZING. so i started looking on my insta explore page for fanarts and looking up funfacts and eventually that turned into coming on tumblr and ive been here ever since! ive also rewatched the show over twenty times since it returned to netflix. whoops.

4) canon things i love:

grumpy grouchy sarcastic sokka

yuekka

maiko

kataang

toph listening to the earth before making her moves

the way sokka earned mark of the wise

p much everything suki does

the final agni kai. ik theres a lot of arguing between zutara shippers and basically everyone else ab zuko taking the lighting bolt for katara and zuko taking the kightning bolt for anyone. look he DID take that bolt for katara specifically and he WOULD take a bolt for anyone in the gaang. these facts can and should coexist. removing all shipping arguments ab this scene tho: i love it so much because its one of the most defining moments that shows just how far zuko has come as a chatacter. like that is the epitome of the depiction if his growth for me.

aang and his marble trick

aang being more than just a goofy kid. hes so wise. hes so strong. hes been through so fuckin much and hes STILL THAT POSITIVE. hes so strong and i love him.

canon things i ignore

ik this is the comics but basically the entire way they handled azulas arc in the comics. i havent even read them but ive seen so many posts ab azula in the comics that it has made me not want to read them. i am a firm believer in azula redemption arc. i think if given the right circumstances and the right chances and help to improve that she could become a good person. she is capable of changing and i think that the fact that she stayed a villain in the comics is just ugh not the good good

yues death. nope shes alive.

jets death. nope hes alive.

aang being a bad father in lok. wtf. thats so out of character for him. its so ooc its ridiculous.

cop toph. so ooc. she is a RULE BREAKER. why would she willingly ENFORCE THEM. like no. toph rejoined the earthbending tournament circuit and helped invent probending. thats the new canon

5) okay

in the show adult?: bato. like still has some sort of parental vibes but also: hes bato. hes chill. i firmly believe that bato is a sarcastic bastard who is a ‘bad influence on the children’ please. zuko taught them all those curse words, bato didnt. (although he didnt stop it)

okay but a real life adult? my history teacher or geometry teacher. they were my BESTIES in school. and i related to zuko sokka toph and suki a lil too much so obviosuly these irl ppl would be their friends lmao

#oops i answered all of them oh well #send me atla asks

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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years

Note

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

#smadhuman being pure af #bay answers #long post #very long post #ask #asks

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freddiesaysalright · 4 years

Text

The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 7 - Fantasy Suites

Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!

Word Count: 7k (i’m finally chilling tf out)

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @moon-stars-soul, @danadeacon, @deacyblues, @thesundrop, @cupidben, @lostlittlenerd, @delilahmay39, @timmvrphy, @queenmylovely, @loveandbeloved29, @free-pool-trash, @fairestkillerqueenofall, @local-troubled-writer, @babyalienfairy, @littlecarowrites, @allthethingsicant, @im-an-adult-ish, @mirkwoodshewolf, @squishy-gay-astronaut, @sherlollydramoine, @butlegendsneverdie, @dogmom2014, @rocketrhap917, @26-7-49, @lelifesaver, @frozenhuntress67, @drowsebaby If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long and that it’s a little shorter. Writing has been hard as I’ve been really depressed this week. We moved my grandfather to a hospice house and dancing (the only thing that keeps me sane) has been cancelled. Anyway, I hope y’all are all staying healthy and safe :)

Warning(s): OKAY I thought about doing some smut in this chapter, but then decided against it. I don’t think it fits the format, since so far it’s been like watching the show. That being said, I got as steamy as I felt was cool. So, it’s steamy but it’s not like completely NSFW. I hope y’all enjoy :)

Night 1 Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6

Week 7 here we go!!!

The flight to New Zealand was long and tiring. It took almost an entire twenty four hours of travel. You tried to get some rest, but it was tough, since your heart was still breaking for Rami. It did not ease your pain to remind yourself that it was the right choice. It was the toughest breakup so far. And you were anxious because it only got harder. Especially because you were in love with the three remaining men.

This of course, made your decision even more difficult. You needed these overnight dates to determine who was further along and who was ready for a proposal. But the overnight aspect did have you a bit nervous.

Sex didn’t frighten you. But it usually deepened your feelings, so you needed to know how they felt before going to bed with them. And whether or not they were truly ready to commit themselves to you.

After a day to recover, you had your first date. It was with Joe, which of course, excited you. Joe’s hometown had been wonderful, but you needed to know if he loved you. If he was in this as deep as you were.

Joe: I think I’m more nervous this week than I’ve ever been before. Knowing that Y/N and I could have the night together and take our relationship to the next level is really important to me. I also know that I’m in love with her and I need to tell her. My biggest frustration is that I know she can’t say it back. But I need some sort of validation because I’m starting to lose my mind a little bit. I didn’t think this whole journey was gonna be this hard…

You were meeting Joe in Hobbiton, where Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit movies were filmed. You were stoked when you got to the bar in Ireland based on The Shire, but now you were getting as close to the real thing as possible. It was an odd combination of nerves and thrill for you. You hoped you got to where you needed to be with Joe because you weren’t ready to say goodbye.

You beamed at him as he approached, your heart easing at his familiar form. He started to jog over when he saw you. When he reached you, he scooped you up in his arms as you laughed together. He set you down so he could kiss you.

“Hey,” he said quietly when your lips parted.

“Hey,” you returned sweetly. “Are you ready for today?”

“I’m stoked,” he assured you.

“Well, we’re touring Hobbiton,” you said with a smile. “So I think it’s gonna be great!”

You took his hand and led him up the path to Bag End. There, you met a guide, who began to walk you through the entire set. It was so cool to see everything in person and to witness the work that went into making such a huge, legendary film. The sun was shining and you felt it made the grass around you almost glow green. It was the loveliest day. After the tour, you sat together at The Green Dragon Inn, each with a drink. You toasted to your journey and took a sip.

“So, how are you feeling after last week?” Joe asked. “I know this is getting harder for you as the feelings get deeper.”

That was what you loved about Joe. He understood you, and never made you feel bad that this was the situation you were in.

“I’m okay,” you told him. “Obviously, last week was difficult, saying goodbye to Rami, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I’m optimistic about what this week will bring. Hopefully, it’s clarity.”

“I hope that for you as well,” he said. “I’m glad to hear you’re staying positive. Getting too caught up in the heartbreak...it’ll just bring you down. And I really want you to be happy.”

“That’s what I want too,” you said. “That’s the reason I’m here, y’know?”

“It’s the reason we’re all here,” he replied.

You each sipped your drinks some more and chatted about the experience. The day slipped by all too quickly. Before you knew it, it was time to part ways and get ready for the evening portion of the date. You carefully selected your dress. It was going to be a big night after all.

You met at the hotel where you were staying, and had a patio table all to yourselves. The lighting was low, just candles and soft, yellow bulbs. Drinks and dinner were set out and waiting for you. Joe pulled your chair out and let you sit, before taking the chair next to you.

“So,” you said. “Here’s to a wonderful day, and an even more wonderful evening.”

“Cheers, baby,” he replied.

You clinked glasses. When you set them down, you looked at him.

“So, I know this is a weird date,” you said. “There’s no rose to hand out, but there is something at the end, and I -”

“Y/N, I’m gonna stop you right there,” he said. “I know that it’s the fantasy suite, and I just want to tell you there’s no pressure. I’m really happy with where we are.”

You smiled. “I am too.”

He took a deep breath. “Honestly, there was only one thing I regretted about last week in New York.”

“Oh?” you wondered, brow furrowing. “What’s that?”

“I should have been honest with you,” he said. “The truth is, Y/N, I’m in love with you. Spending this day together only solidified that for me. I love you. With my whole heart.”

A smile spread slowly across your face as he spoke.

“Joe, I…” you trailed off, stopping yourself before saying what was on your heart. But only because you couldn’t say it. If you were not the Bachelorette, you would have told him that you loved him too.

“Thank you for telling me,” you said. “It means so much.”

“I just want to keep you informed with where my heart is,” he said.

You beamed at him and leaned over to kiss him. Even kissing him felt better with his feelings out in the open. When you parted, you were still smiling.

“So,” you said, reaching over to the table and retrieving an envelope there. “We have this little offer here, and I’d like you to read it.”

You handed him the envelope. He opened it up and read over the words once before reading it aloud with a little grin on his face.

“Y/N and Joe,” he began. “Welcome to New Zealand. I hope you’ve enjoyed the lush world of Hobbiton today. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. Chris Harrison.”

“What do you think?” you asked with a smirk.

“I’d love to spend the night with you,” he said, but you detected some hesitation there.

“But?”

“No buts,” he replied with a small laugh. “I just want you to know that I meant what I said before. There’s no pressure. We don’t have to do anything-”

You cut him off with a deep kiss.

“Joe,” you said. “I’m attracted to you. You make me feel so loved and desired. So, let’s go up to the fantasy suite and explore that more.”

He smiled. “Whatever you want, Y/N. I love you.”

You grinned wider at him. Then, taking his hand, you led him away and up to the main part of the hotel. Your suite was on the top floor so you took the elevator. For the whole ride, your heart was pounding. Your skin felt hotter each time he squeezed your hand. You were tempted to begin things right at that moment, but you had to wait until you were off camera.

After two agonizing minutes, the elevator dinged and opened its doors. You and Joe were both clearly holding back from running to the room. When you made it to the suite, he opened the door, and you saw the whole romantic set up. There were candles everywhere. A bottle of champagne sat on ice in the kitchen, with two glasses on the counter. Rose petals made a path from the front door to the bedroom door.

“This is beautiful,” you said, looking around.

“It really is,” he agreed. “But honestly, I wanna kiss you so bad, I can’t focus on it.”

“Well then,” you said. “Come here and kiss me.”

He made it to you in two strides, his lips claiming yours in the most heated kiss of your life. Your stomach lurched with fresh desire as he nipped at your bottom lip. You moaned into his mouth. He lifted you off your feet when you coiled your arms around his neck. Then he carried you into the bedroom, kicking the door shut. Finally, the cameras and producers were gone and it was just the two of you.

You were still kissing Joe when he set you back on your feet. You had become frantic with need for him. He chuckled into your kisses.

“Y/N,” he said, taking hold of your shoulders. “Y/N, slow down.”

You bit back a whine as he gently pushed you away.

“We’ve got all night,” he said. “We don’t have to rush.”

“The sooner we do it,” you returned. “The sooner we can do it again.”

He threw his head back and laughed. You smiled.

“Okay, we can go as many times as you like, but for our first time together, I really…” he trailed off. “I really wanna make love to you.”

“I’d love that,” you told him with a smile.

Your heart melted at his sentiment, but you had not lost any of the desire. You turned your back to him and moved your hair aside so he could unzip your dress. You heard him step toward you. Then his hands were on the zipper, the top of which was right at the nape of your neck. You gasped at the contact as your body begged for more.

Inch by inch, he lowered the zipper. You shivered when the air hit your back before Joe leaned down and kissed the newly exposed skin. You bit your lip.

He turned off your mic pack, which was at your lower back, and removed it, tossing it away. The straps of your dress fell from your shoulders. You faced him again. The fabric fell away from your body, revealing your bare chest to him. You hadn’t worn a bra. Joe sucked in a sharp breath as his eyes flickered down to your breasts before returning to your face.

“Like what you see?” you teased.

“Love it,” he said, pulling you into his arms again. “I love you.”

You giggled. “You can’t stop saying it.”

“No, nor will I,” he returned firmly.

You smiled again.

The way Joe made love to you was like nothing you had ever experienced before. It was slow, deliberate, and deep. He reached your very soul. He showed you the strength of his love with every kiss, every thrust, and every soft whisper of your name. Love was not just a word to Joe. It was something that required action. And you saw after that night that he was steadfast and strong. There was no doubt that he truly loved you. He showed you four times.

When you woke beside him the next morning, tucked safely in his arms, you smiled and hummed contentedly. You snuggled down closer. It almost made you wince, since your body was sore. It was the sweetest soreness you had ever felt. Joe shifted, eyes fluttering open. His smile was the only one that could match your own.

“Hey,” you whispered.

“Morning, beautiful,” he replied, voice low with the morning.

“How’d you sleep?” you asked.

“Wonderfully,” he said. “You?”

“The best sleep I’ve had in months,” you answered with a giggle.

“Good, then I did my job,” he joked.

You laughed again as he rolled half on top of you. He lowered his lips to yours. It was a soft and delicate kiss, since neither of you wanted to heat things up again without proper time. When he pulled back, he looked into your eyes.

“I think I could do this forever,” he said.

“What?” you asked.

“Wake up to you,” he said.

“Me too,” you returned.

You cupped his cheek in your hand. The urge to tell him your feelings arose again. But you didn’t want to confuse him or hurt him. On the other hand, you felt it so strongly. He deserved some validation, didn’t he?

“Joe, I love you,” you said, so quietly you wondered if you had even said it aloud. But the look on his face told you that you did.

His eyes widened at first. Then, his brow furrowed. He was wondering if he’d heard you right. Then, all that melted away into the biggest grin you’d ever seen on his lips.

“Y/N, I can’t tell you what it means to hear you say that,” he said. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you returned.

It felt so right like this. But then, reality set in. Joe had to return to his hotel. You had two other dates this week. Two other men, who you also adored. As you got up and dressed, you tried not to despair.

You held it together well enough until it was time for Joe to go. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder and he was standing by the door. You slid your arms around him and buried your face in his chest.

“I don’t want you to go,” you said, voice shaking.

He kissed the top of your head. “I wish I didn’t have to, baby.”

You held each other for a long moment as a lump formed in your throat. You sniffled, but tried to hide it, burrowing further into him. He still noticed.

“Hey…” he said gently, pulling away to look at your face. “Hey, don’t cry, honey, I’ll see you soon.”

He wiped a stray tear with his thumb. Then, he pressed his lips to your forehead. Slowly, he detached himself from you. He had to, or you would have held him there all day.

“See you later,” he said. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” you choked out.

He gave your hand one last squeeze before releasing it and walking through the door. You closed it behind him. You leaned back against it and sank down to the floor, pulling your knees into your chest. Your heart was aching, and you just hoped you hadn’t made a mistake by confessing to Joe.

You had to travel later that day, since your next date was hours away, on the coast. Missing Joe terribly, you made your way to Papamoa Beach, where you would have a date with Ben the following day. The thought of seeing Ben raised your spirits.

The morning of your date, you were feeling much better. You had so much to look forward to with Ben. He was fun and cheerful and had the sweetest heart. And this date was going to be really cool.

You met him on the beach, wearing just a pair of shorts over your bathing suit. Ben came out onto the sand, looking straight out of a magazine in his tank top and swim trunks. You waved to him and he jogged over to you, planting an enthusiastic kiss on your lips when he reached you. You beamed at him as you parted.

“So, what have you got in store for today?” he asked.

“Something super fun,” you told him. “Since you’re so active, I know you’ll love it.”

“Now, I’m very curious,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

“Come with me,” you said, taking his hand.

Together, you walked down the beach, where a tall, broad man with long dark hair was waiting for you. He was extremely tan, so you figured he spent most of his days out here.

“Hello, Y/N and Ben,” he said with a thick New Zealand accent. “I’m AJ and I’m your surfing instructor for today. Have either of you ever surfed before?”

“I have,” Ben said.

“I have not,” you admitted.

“Alright, that’s perfectly fine,” AJ said. “We teach all ages and skill levels. We’ve got some suits and boards waiting for you in there.”

He pointed to the building of the surf school. You and Ben went in and got changed. When you came back out, Ben looked you up and down before biting his lip. You stifled a giggle.

Ben: I’m having such a wonderful time on this date. Y/N looks amazing in that bodysuit, so I am so grateful tonight’s the fantasy suite because it’s getting harder and harder to keep my hands off her. Obviously, it’s all up to her, I’m thrilled just to hold her, but I am ready for more. To take our relationship further and grow more together.

You were each given a board and then you followed AJ. He gave you some instruction on the sand - and some important safety information - but before you knew it, you were in the water, paddling out to beyond where the waves were starting. AJ went over a few more basics, and helped you find your balance on the board.

Ben tried to ride a wave first, since he had done it before. He looked so good out there. He smiled, tongue poking out between his teeth, and he glided through the water on the crest of the wave. You wondered how many times he had done this because he didn’t seem nervous. He had clearly mastered the art.

You had no such luck. Even keeping in mind everything AJ told you, your timing was off when you tried to stand up, and the wave knocked you clear off the board. The ocean tossed you around a minute as the wave moved past you. Then you kicked up toward the surface. You sucked in air and wiped your eyes as you broke it.

You were already laughing along with Ben and AJ. You knew it looked hilarious. Ben’s smile was infectious as you climbed back on the board and paddled back to where he waited for you.

“It was a great try, love,” he said through his laughter.

“You’re just being nice, it was terrible,” you returned.

“Not to worry,” AJ assured you. “There’s still lots of ocean for you to try.”

You made several more attempts. Ben did as well, nailing it over and over again. You, on the other hand, were missing the mark. It got to the point where you were actually getting frustrated.

“Come on, love,” Ben said at last. “Don’t pout. You can do it.”

“Ugh,” you groaned, to his amusement.

“Try one more time,” he encouraged.

You met his eyes, and at the look on his face, your resentment ebbed away. He wasn’t being condescending or spouting empty words of praise. He really believed in you.

With a determined smirk, you got back on the board. You waited a minute or two before you saw it coming - the perfect wave. Eagerly, you began to paddle forward. You were going to get it this time. You had to.

You rode it until just before it crested. You popped up onto your feet. You didn’t fall! You were riding the wave! Adrenaline surged through you as you surfed - properly surfed! Your legs were wobbly, but you didn’t fall until the wave crashed, and you went down. But this time, you went down having accomplished the goal. When your head broke the surface again, Ben was already beside you, pulling you out of the water and onto his board.

“That was amazing, love!” he cheered.

“I did it!” you cried.

“You did it!” he affirmed.

He sat you down beside him and kissed you. Your mouths were wet and salty from being in the ocean all day, but you didn’t care. You had triumphed because he supported you. His hands found their way to the sides of your face as he deepened the kiss.

“Incredible,” he said.

You chuckled. “You were incredible. I didn’t manage to actually do it until the end.”

“Well, I’m bloody proud of you,” he said.

“Thank you,” you said, beaming.

After the lesson, you returned to shore to have a small picnic. It was just cheese and crackers with some wine. The suits and boards, you returned to AJ. Then you both sat on the blanket, realizing you were starving, and went in on the food.

“So, where’d you learn to surf?” you wondered.

“In California,” he said. “We had a series of matches out there, and in my down time, I picked it up. Then I got my whole team doing it.”

“Well, it was super sexy,” you told him.

“You’re way sexier,” he argued. “Your body in that suit was...incredible.”

You flushed at his words and under his gaze.

You chatted a little longer on the beach. Then it was time to prepare for the evening portion of the date. You were excited to be in a dress and makeup after Ben had watched you wipe out all day. Not that you minded being goofy around him, but tonight was big. You wanted to be beautiful and sexy.

You walked with him to a beach side bar that was reserved for you. The candlelight was soft and warm, and made you feel cozy despite the breeze. Ben pulled your chair out for you. You sat down together.

“Thanks for being so supportive today,” you said. “I was being such a baby.”

“No, you weren’t,” he assured you. “It’s natural to get frustrated at stuff like that.”

“You were still so amazing to me,” you said. “I appreciate you so much.”

“Of course,” he said. “I love you.”

You were convinced you’d never grow tired of hearing those words from his mouth. Once again, you were struck with the desire to say it back. But you refrained. You were already feeling guilty for telling Joe, and you didn’t want to do the same thing with Ben. You smiled.

“I feel like your hometown date went so well,” you said. “This is going in a direction that makes me excited. I feel so sure of you, Ben. I know it made me nervous when you told me that you’ve never been in love before, but I’m not now.”

“No?” he wondered.

You shook your head. “I can feel what you feel for me. And you show me every time we’re together.”

You took his hand and stared into his eyes. You felt the words coming up in your throat. Only, you couldn’t stop them. You felt them too powerfully.

“I love you too, Ben,” you said.

Inwardly, you kicked yourself. How did these guys make your resolve so weak? Not that you minded too much, but you felt like you were messing up. Like it wasn’t decent behavior for the Bachelorette.

Ben’s smile made your regret fade. It didn’t disappear entirely, but you felt better that you’d said it.

“I love you more,” he said.

“Oh, don’t start,” you joked.

You laughed together. When it died down, you squeezed his hand.

“We’ve come a long way,” you said. “This journey hasn’t always been easy, but I want to keep going with you.”

“I do too,” he said.

“So, there’s an envelope on the table,” you said. “Why don’t you open it and read what’s inside?”

He smiled - making your heart jump - and then reached over to pick it up. You waited with bated breath as he cracked open the seal and pulled out the card.

“Y/N and Ben,” he read. “Welcome to beautiful Papamoa Beach. I hope you enjoyed learning something new together. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. Chris Harrison.”

“What do you say?” you wondered.

“I say absolutely,” he told you. “How could I not want more time with you?”

You giggled.

Just down the beach from the bar, production had put together a glamorous hut. It sat a good ways from the shoreline for when high tide came in, but you could still see the ocean from the doorway. Inside, there was a gorgeous queen bed. Candles and twinkle lights illuminated the one room structure with a soft, warm glow. Rose petals dotted the white comforter. Champagne was already iced down and waiting for you on the side table.

“Is this glamping?” Ben teased.

“This is definitely glamping,” you replied with a smirk.

“There’s nobody I’d rather glamp with,” he said.

“Same,” you returned.

With that, he closed the door to the cameras. You turned off your mic packs first thing. A beat passed as you looked at each other. Then you collided. It was all frantic tongue and teeth at first, desperate as you were to be close. You felt Ben’s hands at the back of your dress. He tugged the zipper down and it fell away from your body. You shoved his blazer off his shoulders and then quickly got to work on the buttons of his shirt.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathed onto your neck as he kissed you. “You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you, Ben,” you sighed back.

You kissed his chest when you opened his shirt up. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close. It forced you to pause. You stood there together, you just in your thong and he was shirtless. Your chests pressed together made you feel his heartbeat. It matched your own. Hot desire coursed through you. You wanted more, but he held you firmly.

“Just a minute,” he said. “Gotta breathe.”

You rested your head on his chest. You realized that you needed to breathe too. So, you caught your breath together. As you slowly inhaled and exhaled, you felt yourself uniting with Ben. Your hearts beat together. Your lungs worked together. Your bodies could have melted into each other. It was a moment of true tenderness, where your heart met his.

As your breathing evened out, both your hands began to roam. Fingers brushed deftly over sweltering skin. It sent a shiver up your spine to feel the feather lightness of his touch.

“How do you want this?” he asked.

You held his gaze. His pupils were blown wide with lust, but they were still that charming shade of green. You smiled. His eagerness to please you was not something you were used to. No man had ever asked for explicit instructions.

“I want you in every way I can have you,” you told him.

“Maybe I should clarify,” he chuckled. “How do you want me first? Tell me what will make you feel best.”

You blushed. “Really?”

He shrugged and rubbed your back. “What can I say? I’m an athlete, I like to be coached.”

“Well then,” you replied. “You can start by kissing me again.”

“I’ll kiss you forever.”

He claimed your lips once more, passionately. As your desire grew, you found it easier to tell him what you wanted. Ben was an attentive and giving lover. He seemed to thrive on your instructions and requests. It showed you the kind of man he was. He would do anything in the world for you. Your happiness was his happiness. Your pleasure was his pleasure. Your love was his love.

You and Ben only made love twice because he spent so much time exploring each other. He was so intent on making you feel amazing - something he accomplished over and over again. You’d never had so many orgasms in one night. And each one made you see stars. Your love for Ben ripened into deep passion.

The next morning, Ben was awake before you. He rolled over and saw the morning light catch your hair, and he felt a pang of sadness. As much as he was enjoying this, his time with you was almost over. You had another date, and unfortunately could not spend the whole day together. Still, he watched you sleep a moment longer.

When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he placed a soft kiss to your cheek. Even asleep, you smiled. You stirred and stretched slowly. Finally, your eyes opened and you took in Ben’s familiar form.

“Morning,” you yawned.

“Morning, love,” he replied. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“You can always wake me with kisses, hun,” you assured him.

He smiled half heartedly and looked away. You rolled onto your stomach and propped yourself up onto your elbows.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I’m just…” he sighed. “I’ll be very sorry to leave you today. I hate this.”

You cut your eyes away from him so he wouldn’t see you tearing up.

“I hate this too.”

He gathered you up in his arms, laying you on his chest.

“I know I’ll see you again soon,” he said. “But I also know there are still two other men in this. I just...I don’t know if...I don’t want to make you feel guilty.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I can’t promise anything right now. I don’t even know what decisions I’ll make at this point. And it’s so unfair to you because I know what all of y’all need right now is some validation, and I just...I’m not able to do it, and I’m so, so sorry.”

“Shh, don’t apologize,” he soothed you, kissing the top of your head. “S’alright. It’s just getting more difficult for me, and I want you to know where my head’s at.”

“I get that,” you said. “I appreciate you being so honest with me, Ben. Really. I wish there was something I could do to make it better, but even though I can’t, I want to know what you’re thinking. And how you’re feeling.”

“I’ll do my best to be open,” he said. “But I want you to do the same for me. As much as you can. The last thing I want is to be blindsided.”

“I understand,” you said. “I will tell you my feelings as soon as I can. I never want to hurt you.”

“Thanks, love,” he said.

You had some breakfast before he had to leave. It was another gut-wrenching goodbye. Things were more serious with Ben than you had anticipated. And now you had told two men that you loved them. It hit you suddenly that you were going to break someone’s heart. And you still had one more date left in the week.

You felt heavy going into your date with Gwilym. Once again, you had to travel a bit to get to where you were meeting him. As excited as you were to see him, you were also terrified. You knew how you felt about Gwilym, and it was strong. You knew he felt similarly, though he hadn’t said outright that he loved you. You needed to clarify everything.

You met Gwilym just outside your destination. He smiled widely at you, and you rushed forward to jump into his arms. He caught you as you wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed him deeply.

“Well,” he chuckled as your lips parted. “I missed you too.”

“I hope you’re ready for today,” you replied.

He set you down, but kept a hold of your hand.

“What are we getting up to?” he asked.

“We are at Polynesian Spa,” you explained. “We are going to get treated today and relax after all these crazy weeks. That sound good?”

“That sounds perfect,” he said.

You went inside together. You and Gwil got the full treatment. You started with facials, before moving on to a massage. Your body was physically relaxed, but your mind was sort of going wild. Luckily, the nature of this day helped you to forget about the stress of your situation. During your massage, you cleared your mind and let yourself live in this moment with Gwilym.

After your massage, you went out to a private pool that overlooked Lake Rotorua. The water was warm and soothing. You felt especially relaxed now after being pampered, and you just wanted to enjoy this time with Gwilym.

“I’m so glad we get to chill,” you said, moving closer and leaning into him. You rested your head on his shoulder.

“I am too,” he replied. “Has your week been difficult?”

“A bit,” you said. “I’m feeling the pressure of things even more now than I was before, and I know that feelings are going to get hurt and I just….this is getting hard.”

“I’m sorry, cariad,” he said gently, kissing your head. “We’re coming to the end. Your feelings are real. Of course it’s hard.”

“How are you feeling?” you wondered.

“I’m feeling really good about us,” he told you. “I feel like last week went well. My family adored you. Which affirmed my feelings a lot.”

“I liked your family a lot too,” you said. “Your mom mentioned how hard you took your fiance’s death and it showed me how much they care about you. I admire that.”

“Yes, I relied quite heavily on my family during that time,” he said. “I even stopped going to read to the children for a while. I was just...not at all myself.”

“It’s almost hard for me to imagine,” you said. “I feel like you’re such a wonderful person and you’re mostly positive.”

“Grief is a great complexity,” he said. “I still don’t understand a lot of what I went through. But I know that every step of my life has led me to you. And for that, I’m most grateful.”

You smiled and straightened up to look at him. Then you coiled your arms around his neck, splashing the water a little bit, and pulled him in for a kiss.

“I’m so grateful I met you too,” you replied when you parted. “I thank God every day for it.”

He kissed you again. You stayed there, making out with him, for what felt like hours. You didn’t feel the sun or the water. Just Gwilym’s mouth on yours. You swore you steamed up the pool with the heat of the kisses. It made you grateful that tonight was the fantasy suite. You were so attracted to him, and you wanted to explore the physical connection some more.

As the sun began to set over the water, it was time to get ready for the evening portion of the date.

Gwilym: I’m excited about tonight. Y/N and I have a wonderful connection. We’ve been strong since the beginning. Truly, I could see us at the end of all this. I’m still falling steadily in love with her, and I want to explore our relationship further. I want to keep working on our relationship forever, hopefully.

You met up with Gwilym at a bar that had been reserved for the two of you. As relaxed as you’d felt earlier, your body was now tense. You needed to have a serious talk with Gwilym about the relationship and find out where he stood.

You sat down together at a little table. He pulled your chair out for you, and you thanked him. Then, he took up his drink as he sat beside you.

“To a wonderful day,” he said. “And the most incredible woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

“Cheers,” you giggled.

You clinked glasses and you each took a sip.

“So,” you said, setting your wine down. “I feel like we need to talk about where we are and how exactly we’re feeling.”

“I’m alright with that,” he said. “Would you like to start?”

“Sure,” you said. “Gwilym, I’m definitely falling in love with you. You have stood out to me since night one, and I think we’ve had a really solid relationship. I appreciate your honesty, how dedicated you are to this, and your vulnerability. I know I can see a future with you.”

He smiled as you spoke.

“That’s lovely to hear,” he said. “I feel the same. We’re going strong. You’ve been as fair and honest in this whole process as you could, and I appreciate it. You make it so easy to be vulnerable with you because you are also so open. We’ve both really let our walls down. I fall more in love with you every day.”

You deflated a little. “So, that’s how you’re feeling. You’re falling in love with me?”

“Yes,” he told you. “That’s where my heart is.”

Your heart sank. So, he was falling behind. He noticed your expression shift.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

You sighed. “I feel like….we need to be further along than this.”

“How do you mean?” he pressed.

“You were falling in love with me back in London,” you said. “If you’re in the same place, then it means we’re not progressing.”

He took a sip of his drink, swallowing slowly as he returned it to the table.

“Where do you think we should be?” he wondered.

“I don’t know if we need to be at a certain place,” you said. “But we should be further along than we were a couple weeks ago. We need to be going forward.”

“Just because I’m still falling doesn’t mean we haven’t made progress,” he argued. “I need time to know you more. For me, falling in love….it’s a long way down before I can get there.”

“I understand that,” you said. “But I still feel like we’ve just...plateaued since our one on one. And if we’re going to get engaged soon, then I need to feel like we’re climbing.”

He didn’t answer. His eyes remained fixed on the table. Your heart was beginning to beat wildly against your rib cage.

“Gwil, please, I -”

“Y/N, I can’t tell you that I’m in love with you while you’re still involved with two other men,” he said, cutting across you. “I want to be the one at the end of this who gets down on one knee, but I cannot fully give my heart to you until you can give yours to me.”

For a moment, it felt like all the air was sucked out of your body. It was such a confusing thing to hear. Did that mean that he was in love with you and he just wasn’t saying it? That felt like a betrayal, especially when he’d always promised to be honest with you.

“So…” you began, deciding to ask the blunt question. “Are you in love with me? It’s your pride that won’t let you say it because there are still two other guys here?”

He sighed. “That’s not it. I don’t think I can get there unless we’re getting there together. I’m not in love with you yet.”

“Gwilym, that doesn’t make any sense!” you cried. “You knew what this process was when you signed up for it. Don’t you think you need to be in love before you get engaged?”

“Yes, of course, that’s the idea,” he returned. “But, because this is a unique journey, I knew that I’d need to be actually proposing before I could feel like we can really love each other. I don’t have that confidence while the others are still here.”

“None of you can be absolutely confident,” you said. “I’m not even confident of what decision I’ll make right now. But you have to take a chance. I know my heart is being pulled in different directions right now, but if I don’t have confidence that you’re where I need you to be in order for me to accept a proposal from you...then I don’t know what we’re going to do, Gwil. Because I need to be in love before I can say yes to someone.”

“Joe and Ben...have they told you they’re in love with you?” he asked.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” you replied.

“Right, sorry,” he said. “But I am getting the impression that it’s not that we haven’t made progress, it’s that I haven’t made the same progress as they have.”

“This isn’t about them,” you said. “This is about me and you. Our relationship is not about what’s going on with the other relationships.”

“But you must compare them,” he said. “How else do you make a decision?”

“I make my decision based on what happens between each person,” you said. “Yeah, some comparison happens, but I evaluate everything individually.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to call you into question. You’ve been an excellent Bachelorette, but that’s just the thing. You’re the Bachelorette. If your heart really is being pulled in other directions, then can’t you understand why I struggle to feel confident?”

“I do,” you said. “And I’ve been in your shoes, remember? I’ve been on the other side of this. But I wasn’t afraid. I let myself take the chance and fall in love.”

A beat passed. He once again, did not answer. You took his hand.

“I’m doing the same thing now,” you said. “I love you, Gwilym.”

He stiffened and squeezed his fingers around yours.

“I…” he trailed off. “I’m sorry. I just can’t get there like this.”

You took a shaky breath, choking back tears. “So, what’s going to happen with us? Where are we going to go from here?”

“I dunno, Y/N,” he said. “I just don’t know.”

To be continued...

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fridayasteroid · 4 years

Link

Digging Deep into My Playlists

I hope you enjoyed how I interpreted Taylor Swift’s song as much as I relate to it so much!

This time, I would like to do a little introduction of the playlists I made in my Spotify. Do visit my profile to check those playlist!

1. Songs to Cry To

This is my first playlist that I made and I made it with no intention. It all started when I liked listening to random sad songs and watching sad movies. Surprisingly, I cried to some of them, even the OST songs.

So, these are the songs that I truly cry to if I listen to the lyrics and melody. You can really feel what the singer wants to tell you.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2FXDcR6PfLFwWA4OLMBR7a?si=xOP0_iVCR4q2qEucEBT_GA

2. Rnbies ft. Indie

This playlist is actually a random collection of RnB and Indie songs that I loved to listen to back on 2018. It has some of my favorite artists like Niki, Doja Cat, Alextbh, RINI, Billie Eilish, SZA, and more! So, if you’re looking for a playlist filled with RnB and Indie songs, this in definitely a try for you!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7bIZgz3KLTATnBQ80JClv4?si=kLRwtaqBR5yjPJwDUoVY_A

3. Ur typical heartbreak playlist

As you know, this is my heart break playlist. It took me a while to make this, I couldn’t listen to any music for 1-3 months after the heartbreak because it made me so restless.

Its the heart break playlist that consists of my unsaid emotions, the anger, hurt, sadness, all mixed in. Its pretty much what I would say if I could say anything about my relationship and how I feel.

You could also see how there are songs that are pretty much mixed up with yes and no kind of vibe, those ups and downs. It shows times that I blame myself or times that I blame him. So, enjoy guys.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4oDt80KP5O1FpTD81sCTKu?si=JrRXX-WdS-WBvnaP_ewApw

4. Half Hearted

I wanted to make a playlist that captures the emotions and frustrations a person is going through when loving someone that doesn’t love you back. Either they don’t love you from the start or even they have fallen out of love.

Through these songs you could feel the hopelessness of love returning back to you, the ache in loving and caring for someone but they don’t, and the hate towards their own feelings. So, I hope this could be a playlist that could represent you hearts.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7wxvkD0hP4Opp9bVBZnGjz?si=H3xT4iU7S_KgaDR0xZbS_w

5. Hopeful Healing

Break ups are awful, they make you feel worthless, unlovable, and broken into pieces. You feel like you lost yourself and the world is dark. There is no need to worry, that means you cherished and internalized that relationship so bad. You are pure.

There is something you need to know, heart breaks aren’t always bad, there is always something much more better after it. There is always a sunrise after a dark night. This represent it all. That you are strong and there is always hope for yourself. The future will always be much more better.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Tp9unT1Z4tFvizF2G6ri1?si=VqrGQqbJQEmoZE19_AHlmw

6. Love me!

The feeling of loving someone excites the heart. The hopefulness and happiness that you feel when falling in love is priceless. Its like a sugar rush that you’ll have over and over again.

This playlist covers all those feelings while falling in love. I hope this is enough to express how much love you give to someone!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5wqiN6x8BclfGYGR1eyLQw?si=Tw4e06xrT42a4kIT2fwhdg

7. I hate this world

This playlist is inspired by my very own feeling towards the world. How dark and dirty it is. How you could see unfairness in every corner. There is no peace at all. Its disruptive and no one is pure and sincere anymore. Its a scary place to live in, you’re never safe.

But, at the same time I feel the world is beautiful in some way. How there is happiness in parts you can’t imagine, how people still connect to each other, and how there are forces of fairness in the world too.

You could here this process by listening to the first track then carry on till the last in order. You’ll see what I mean.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37nXlH3JZrJAwj78QZ7443?si=lzbGO9sIRz6Z0Sb_ZJwxEw

8. Fav 70s-90s flashback songs

This playlist is one of the playlist that I’ve been wanting to make but I just couldn’t find the time and songs. These are the songs that I listen to when I was still in primary school.

Of course, its all because of my dad. Back then when it was just mp3 players that are available, I would borrow it from my dad cause I would be left alone inside the car for hours, waiting for him to finish work. To kill time, I would listen to his songs, and they’re filled with the 70s-90s songs.

There are songs that I like and don’t like, but this playlist consists of the ones I like. Since there are many 80s songs, most of them are dance pop, so they are great to listen to when you want to dance! So, here’s to the past!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3LkBpbbqQXabJp3gRRFkID?si=lM5A4cAPTcu-X24uo5vqlQ

9. Getting high with EDMs

This playlist consists of EDM songs that I love listening to back in 2015-2017. I would love to ‘get high’ listening to this and forgetting about all the bad things. Just having fun.

You know if you love exploring EDM, you’ll know that although they almost have the same structure and beat, each artist have their unique sounds. So, these are my EDM song taste.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/20FpOEbJlqhMngOktACqpz?si=gDufSOp9TBmCvM91y0sZzQ

So far these are my playlist that I made. I hope it’ll be useful for you guys!

#playlist #spotify #spotifyplaylist #edmmusic #best of 70s 80s 90s #70s music #80s music #90s music #worldmusic #music #love music #love songs #heartbreak #breakup #heartbreak songs #healing song #songs to cry to #hopeful songs #in love

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 5 years

Text

Guys I did it! *Sobs violently*

Alright, here’s my list of recommended fics you super awesome humans.

As I said in my other post, writers helping writers is awesome so I’m so happy to tell you some of the fics I’ve read that I love. Go show these amazing people some love for the time and effort they have put in to create wonderful fics. Any fics I mention have been read by me (multiple times with some), and I totally recommend them.

I’m gonna do this in a few ways, first off, I’ll section Archive of Our Own separately to FanFic.net, just to make it easier for me to grab the links. Ao3 has a nifty little thing where you can see your reading history so I can grab them from there, with FF, I need to go through and find them, pray for me lololol.

I’ll also be separating the Boondock Saints ones and Daryl ones, just for your ease, if you're only interested in one and not the other. The Daryl ones are only on Archive, because I haven't really read any over on FF for some reason, don't ask me why, I just haven't.

They’re not in any particular order, just as I see them, I'll grab them.

These aren’t all the fics I’ve read, some of the ones I love have been deleted by the writer, which breaks my heart honestly, and some of them I just can't remember.

It’s so fucking long guys, brace yourselves, I’ll put it under the cut.

So, here we go!

Archive of Our Own [Boondock Saints]

- One of Three

I really like this one and you guys should really check it out.

Author Summary; She had cocooned herself, letting routine and safety run her life. After everything she knew it wasn't much of one, and because she decided to do the right thing her life's about to hit a tailspin in some of the worst and most fantastic ways.

This is a Murphy/OC/Connor story and it’s amazing.

Chapters; 18

- Boondock Saints OC Arc

This ones a little different because it's not set out like the usual fic. Its an arc and some bits have one chapter, one of arcs even has 36. They all follow the same storyline and it flows like a normal fic, the author has just chosen to post it this way, and it works.

Author summary; The story of one girl's first up close and personal encounter with one of the brothers on a late-night subway.The 1st story in my Boondock Saints OC story arc.

This is a Murphy/OC/Connor fic, and it's one of my favs honestly, I've read it all numerous times.

Chapters; I can't give you an exact number with the way it's set out, but as I said, one arc alone has 36, so there's plenty to sink your teeth into.

- Everybody Knows

I love this one, it's short and sweet.

Author summary; Everybody knows exactly what Marissa needs to do to get over her recent breakup. She's spent the last month in mourning and her friends are ready for her to move on...

Murphy/OC/Connor.

Chapters; 4, but there's also a sequel which is 5 chapters long, I won't post the link for that since when you've read this one, the option to click on to the next part is at the bottom.

- Saints Alive

I looooove this one!

Author summary; Skid is once again on her own and she has to find a new place. Luckily for her, she knows a friend who knows a guy who knows of a place for free. Downside is it's in the South side of Boston where crime is rather terrible. Of course, with two Irish brothers as new next door neighbors, what's the worst that could happen?

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 7

- Time Zero Blues

Okay, so this one, omfgjwoehdjshndloihd. This is one of my favvvvvs of all time, I’ve read it so many times, if you don't read it, I just might cry.

Author summary; Murphy and Connor get out of work early and are headed to McGinty's. Murphy finds a trail of Polaroids along the way that lead them to an unexpected situation.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 23

- Sacrament of Penance

If you’re after something to get you hot and bothered, this is it :’)

Author summary; "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) Pure PWP, sacrilege, and gratuitous smut.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 5

- Robyn Hood

This one is mine! Lololol. I’m not recommending it because I’m saying its good, but I haven't posted it here because honestly I’m lazy, so if you wanna read another one of my multi-chapter fics, then hop on over :)

Author summary; When Robyn gets thrown into the life of The Saints, it causes a big stir between the brothers. The boys deal with their feelings for her in very different ways, and all of their lives get turned upside down. Connor/OC/Murphy.

Slightly AU, set a year after the first film, they don't go back to Ireland.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 15

- Choíche Is go deo

Another one of mine I’m pretty sure I’ve never posted here.

Author summary; Follow Niamh Flannagan as she grows up with the twins in Ireland and watches them turn from boys into men. How will they both deal with having feelings for her? Will jealousy get in the way?

Murphy/OC/Connor.

Chapters; 8

Fanfic.net [Boondock Saints]

- Risk it all

I’m in love with this one, it’s really fucking good.

Author summary; Nolee moved to South Boston with a hope to escape her past and make a better life for herself. What she didn't plan on was the peculiar Murphy MacManus coming into picture and breaking down everything she thought she knew. As they attempt to bond, can she overcome her tainted old life and let down her walls? Especially with one extra problem: she's already pregnant.

Murphy/ OC

Chapters; 22

- Warrior Shepherds

Another one of my all time favs. I love the dynamics of the characters and how well the boys are written. There’s some serious humour thrown into the mix and I laughed out loud so many times when I read this one. You’ll also be pleased to know this author is on Tumblr, @risingphoenix761. If the username looks familiar, it's because I tag her in all of my shit and recently wrote her a BDS drabble for her birthday. She's an awesome human, so check her out :D

Author note; They were called to destroy evil, but crossing paths with a wayward soul meant compromise. And in compromising, the MacManus brothers get more than they bargained for. Connor/OC/Murphy (rated M for violence, language, and sexual content)

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 37

- Amaryllis

Also by @risingphoenix761, and equally good and worth a read.

Author summary; She wasn't necessarily in their plans. They definitely weren't in hers. Yet between fate, coincidence, a few misadventures and some small favors, plans don't count for much anyway. Now the only question is, are they really just friends?

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 6

- Two Lads and A Lass

I love this one!

Author summary; This is a story about my OFC, Timi, who meets the MacManus brothers a year and a half before they become the Saints of Boston. Follow their adventures as Murphy and Connor try to pull the shyness out of Timi and teach her what love and fun truly is.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 27

- Her Defenses

Yet another high on my list, I love everything about this story.

Author summary; "What do you two see in me that makes you want to try and fix me?" A new life in Boston meant giving up everything she had back home. That never meant that she had to give up her defenses at the same time. Rated M for language and (future) adult situations.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 40

- A Saint, A Sinner

Now this one right here, I have probably read so many times I know it word for word, I’m not even kidding. This is very high on my list. The boys are written perfectly, I love every fucking thing about this one, and there's some very interesting hot and heavy shit along the way. If you only read one fic of this list, it needs to be this one.

Author summary; Connor M./OC/Murphy M. BDS prequel/romance. What happens when you drink whisky with the boys? It's got it all: romance (as far as the boys can DO romance), fluff, hurt/comfort, plot, canon plus research. Rated for MacManus mouth, violence, & explicit three-way smut (no twincest). Note: The BDS belong solely to T. Duff

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; Now it says 87, but the author has been reworking this fic so it's actually about 67 I think? I’m unsure, and the chapters are a little shorter than usual fics. It’s still amazing and a lot for you to immerse yourself in.

- Saints Angel

Another good one you need to check out.

Author summary; The Saints help to protect everyone in their city, but what if they had a protector of their own? In comes a woman, a hurt, young, lovely woman that was rescued by them, given a new life. To her, they are her boys and she will now do anything to protect them. She will become their Angel...forever to walk by their side...forever to watch over them.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 21

- Once More, With Feeling

This one is perfect quite honestly, I fucking love the OC so much and everything about this fic.

Author summary; [HIATUS - UNDER REVISIONS][ConnorxOCxMurphy] Avery, an emotionally independent journalist becomes complicated by her simultaneous feelings for both of the twins. As their secret life of vigilante world unfolds, Avery is left unattended to an entitled, delusional psychopath.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 9

- Alexis's Saints

Another one I absolutely love.

Author summary; Alexis just recently moved to South Boston with her mother. When a nightmare from her past returns full force, she runs into the MacManus brother's and despite trying to stay away from them, she finds herself growing attached to the two brothers as the three try to figure each other out. Rated M for language and some adult themes. Please Enjoy

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 13

- The Possessed

This one is fucking amazing. It’s so different from any other BDS fic I’ve read and well worth the read. There's also a sequel which is Connor/OC, so if you wanna read that, click on their username after reading this one and give that one a read too.

Author summary; She is possessed by something evil and supernatural. They have been asked to help save her, to call upon their faith, but one of them is struggling to believe in anything anymore. If she can't be saved then they will be forced to kill her. Do they have the strength to do what they must? Can he believe in something again?

Murphy/OC

Chapters; 19

- The Librarian

I love the humour in this one and just everything about it.

Author summary; "You're murderers." Rhetta held up a hand, "And please don't give me a speech about how you only killed 'evil' men. I've heard it all before. And while I do agree that the men you killed deserved it, I do not believe that you have the right to take the law into your own hands." "So, you're no' a fan?"

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 17

OKAY, I’m gonna leave it at that for the BDS ones, I know there's more but you have no idea how long that just took me, omg lolololol.

Archive of Our Own [Daryl]

- His Walls

This one is so fucking good, it’s number two on my list of Daryl fics. I love how it starts off with young Daryl, they write him so well and exactly how I imagine him to be. It’s soooooo good guys, read it

Author summary; People build up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. Truer words have never been spoken where Daryl Dixon was concerned. He never expected anyone to care enough, until someone did.

Starts out AU with 20 yr old Daryl, from Chapter 22 on out we'll be in the ZA-world.

M-rating for smut, language, adult topics, descriptions of abuse & attempted rape.

Chapters; 51

- Gorgeous

I hadn't actually read this one before, but I came across it when searching for ones I had read, and I fucking loved it. Young Daryl is my jam and this was so well written and just a good read. It’s a young Daryl AU, so the rest of the twd characters are in it too, like Rick his best friend, Maggie the readers best friend etc.

Author summary; After meeting Daryl on the way home from a party the reader hatches a plan to get him to like her. But if it isn't friends and well-meaning King County citizens that tell her to stay away from him than it's Daryl himself, who's trying to keep his own feelings from coming to the surface.

Chapters; 16

- 357 Daryl Jerkin' It Drive

This one is a little different, this is a collection of works by the writer where they write not only about Daryl, but a lot of different characters Norman has played. As you can tell by the title, they’re all smut based, and well worth the read. It's also worth mentioning that the writer also has a tonne of other Daryl stories so make sure to head onto their profile to check everything else out, it would take too long to link them all here. Most of them are AU Daryl which I love and they're a really talented writer.

Author summary; none.

Chapters; it's hard to say since its a collection, most are one-shots but I know at least two of the works in there are nine chapters each.

- Night Stalker

Okay I lied, this is the same author as above and the next one is too because it's a sequel to this, but they're my favs by this author, I love them. They're a little dark and they're AU, but if you're like me, you'll love them. I recently recommended the sequel to this one to someone in my ask box.

Author summary; Daryl is mentally unstable, but functioning. He falls in love.

Chapters; 15

- Walking in the Light

The sequel to the above story, I’m in love with it, read it now!

Author summary; Sequel to "Night Stalker". Daryl is improving under the care of his new nurse, Krissy. He is still confused by the hallucination, and why Krissy reminds him so much of Kristin.

Chapters; 17

- Just Another Day

Another AU Daryl story that is amazing.

Author summary; Redemption. It's a concept Daryl Dixon is completely unfamiliar with- but desperately needs. It lives in his dreams, where he's a hero among men in the zombie apocalypse... but that's not real life. Real life is sorrow, loneliness, and pain. Until he meets his beautiful neighbor- then its possibility, hope, and maybe a bullet to the brain.

Chapters; 15

- In The Little Town of Jasper…

Yet another amazing AU Daryl story. Are you sensing a theme here? Looool. I’m pretty sure this is the same author as His Walls that I recommended, but I’m too lazy to check.

Author summary; -Abrasive. Yes, that description fit him perfectly. The guy smelled like trouble, and she knew he would get even more abrasive the longer she talked to him. Too bad she didn't care. -A pretty stranger that talked to him, knew his name and his place of work? In Daryl's book, that just couldn't be good news. AU - Daryl Dixon/OC, Explicit for language and sexual situations. Yes smut!

Chapters; 65

- Second Hand Hearts

This is another fic I highly recommend you read. (Duh, or it wouldn't be on the list, God Sarah ur like so annoying) :’)

Author summary; In her darkest hour, a woman who has lost everything is rescued by a handsome man with a crossbow and nothing to lose-until he meets her. In a nightmarish new world, where the dead prey on the living, can they beat the odds and together make life worth living again?

Chapters; 32

- Transference

Another AU Daryl one, but it’s so fucking good and different to a lot I’ve read.

Author summary; Be warned. This is a story about Daryl seeking out a different and not so mainstream relationship. It is 100% consensual and he asks for it. He seeks out what he wants so if you have read the tags and you continue to read it's on you. Xoxoxox Krissy

Chapters; 14

- Hope is a Waking Dream

I know I keep saying I love the fics, but I do, clearly. This one though is another favourite of mine and you really need to read it. I love the dynamic between the OC and Daryl.

Author summary; Set between Seasons 2 and 3. Melissa Sheppard is alone in the ZA, but she was alone before the dead owned the earth. She prefers it that way. Boy, is she pissed when she gets back to her cabin to find it has been taken by strangers.

Chapters; 24

- Paths Crossed

I’m getting sick of hearing myself say I love it over and over, so just fucking read it and make me happy! *sobs*

Author summary; While out hunting Daryl comes across a stranger and decides to help her despite his better judgement and they begin on their journey together.

Chapters; 61

- Daryl Dixon Loves Me

This is another I hadn't actually read until now when I was searching, I actually really loved it. It's full of smut and that's never a bad thing. It took me a couple of chapters to really get into it, but it's really worth the read.

Author summary; Daryl comes across Lucy (OC) in the woods and claims her for his own. The story begins during the Farmhouse era of the series.

Chapters; 14

- A Star In A Sea Of Darkness; Darkness In A Sea Of Stars

Another one, just read it.

Author summary; After the Governor attacked the prison, the only person left in Daryl's shitstorm of a life was Judith. For Daryl, it's enough. Until he met her.

Chapters; 28

- Roommate

Holy shit, this fic is everything. It's AU pre-ZA and it's just the best. It's so good, I can't even put into words, very high on my list and it also has a sequel set in the ZA that’s 13 chapters long, please read it. If you like AU things, this is for you. The way they write Daryl in this, it's just gold. It’s also told in Daryl's POV which is just amazing.

Author summary; Several bodies are found in the area of a small town. In this town lives Daryl, the killer of all those people. The investigation goes on, the profile is made, and now the police and the FBI look for a specific type, a loner type, ... Daryl's type. He decides to find himself a roommate in an attempt to mislead the police. Let's see how that will turn out for him. AU pre-apocalypse horror story. Obviously very OOC Daryl.

Rated M for a good reason, violence, foul language, adult content... it's all there, consider yourself warned.

Chapters; 12

- Wallflower

Okay, so this ones a little different. It's actually a Daryl/OC/Rick love triangle and I usually don't read Rick fics (loool that rhyme though) but this is a good fic.

Author summary; Thea Graham has lived in Alexandria for over a year and is happy being mostly invisible. This is what happens when she suddenly has the attention of two men.

Chapters; 20

- Running Wild

This story is number one on my list guys, this is right up there with His Walls. This is my number one fav Daryl fic of all time and I’ve read it so many fucking times it's unreal. This fic is life, it’s everything. If I could only read one fic over and over for the rest of my life, it would be this one.

Author summary; Four years have passed since their sanctuary at the prison fell at the hands of the Governor and the surviving members are now thriving at their new home just north of Atlanta. Out of the blue, late one afternoon, Daryl Dixon stumbles across someone they thought they'd lost long ago; a member of the Woodbury community that had returned with Rick to the prison.

Warning: This fic is quite a bit darker than my other ones. If you are looking for fluffy bunny, happy prancing unicorns and rainbow colored endings, this is not the story you are looking for.

Chapters; 67

- Amnesia

I love this fucking story, ‘nough said.

Author summary; Her story isn't all that different from anyone else these days. The world went to shit, and the dead don't want to die. She's lost people. So has everyone else. Who she was before isn't who she is now. But there is one difference between Lena and every other survivor she's come across. She doesn't know who she was. And who she is? Well, she's still trying to figure that out.

During the mayhem of the early days of the apocalypse, a fateful smack on the head stole her memory. All she's ever known is the world she's living in now. But that doesn't mean she's adept at surviving it. Eventually, she ends up alone and near death's door. Till a man on a motorcycle chooses to save her life.

Now she has to decide if who she was is worth finding, or if she'll fight the hell that comes with what's forgotten and strive for something better with the one man in the world who can see past it all.

Chapters; 48

- Cherokee Rose

Yet another amazing fic!

Author summary; Daryl and Raven's world collide after a visit to Hilltop by the group from Alexandria. Raven's only love is her Black Stallion Obsidian and Daryl has been done with loving anything for a long time. He's had a lot of practice hardening his heart but the dark vixen is finding cracks in his armor. Will Raven be the one that will finally make Daryl feel again? Rated for sexual situations.

Chapters; 21

- Lips of an Angel

I fucking love this fic. This author has already made it on this list because she's so fucking good. Just go read all of her shit. Its AU Daryl, which by now you guys should probably be able to tell I love looool.

Author summary; Daryl calls a phone sex line. I know this is a trope that has been done before but I feel like I added my own spin on it. I hope you enjoy. I love Hinder, and I heard this song on the radio, so here we are.

Chapters; 11

- The Country Singer

Amazing story, go forth and read my children…

Author summary; Country Music rising star, Melanie McCall and her songwriting partner are headed to D.C. to find hope after their tour bus breaks down and their band is wiped out. They are given a chance to come to Alexandria...but what will happen once their new neighbors find out she was Beth Greene's favorite singer?

A story about losing voice, but finding hope.

Chapters; 18

- Home at last (Redux)

Yet another good one for you guys to read.

Author summary; There are two people alive in this world for whom childhood was a dangerous, precarious, frightening place. For whom life has never been easy and relationships always strained and unnatural things. Having connected, against the odds and then been torn apart by civilization falling around them. How will they react when they meet each other again.

One of them has survived on a deep well of anger and pain, found a family, of sorts, and begun to try and put his past behind him and learn to let people in. The other has dropped the pretense she'd built up before the world went to shit and now she is as detached and self-reliant as he used to be. What happens when these two meet? Can two misshapes fit together and face the world as a better, stronger, complete whole? Can they find, in each other, a place to call home at last?

Chapters; 84

- Of Myths and Men

I fucking love this one, please read it.

Author summary; This story will follow an Original Female Character and her dog through to TWD world from the beginning of the turn.

She will meet the rest of the group, around mid season four.

There is no Beth in my story, Beth fans. I'm sorry.

Artemis. Greek Goddess of the hunt, wild animals, wilderness, childbirth and virginity. Though many Gods vied for her affections only her hunting companion, Orion, could win her heart.

She'd heard them all, been asked if she was a virgin, asked if she had a twin brother, Apollo, asked if she was raped and attacked by her friends and family, asked if she had killed anyone... She was just a girl from a small town with a stupid name.

Artemis had never wanted an Orion, and now the world was falling apart she gathered the chances of meeting one were slim to none. Right? She has Diablo, her best friend and protector.

Who needed the Greek giant Orion when you had the Devil on your side anyway?

Chapters; 42

- Saving Valentine

OH MY GOD THIS STORY GUYS. I love this one, really fucking love it. High on my list. It's got a little bit of Negan/OC in there, but who doesn't love a bit of Negan? I certainly fucking do lololol It’s mainly Daryl/OC though, so even if Negan isn't your jam, I would really recommend reading this.

Author summary; She fought and killed to survive but she lived for revenge. Valentine waits for the right moment to kill the man who murdered her family. Can she do what needs to be done to escape the Sanctuary that is her prison? Can she accept the helping hand from strangers to do it? Can she live with all she lost? TWD world, non canon timeline.

Chapters; 51

- The Living and The Dead

Can we just talk about vampire Daryl for a second, because like HOLY FUCK WHY IS THIS THE ONLY VAMP DARYL FIC I HAVE EVER FOUND. *Breathing intensifies*

Anywho...this story, just fuck. It's everything, it gives me life, please read it omfg.

Author summary; Daryl is the last of his species, in a world that has just turned stranger and stranger since the day his brother turned him.

He's living as normal a life as you can on your own in the woods surrounded by Walkers... until Evie shows up, and threatens to bring all his instincts right back to the surface.

Chapters; 65

- Beasts and Monsters

If you're after a badass OC, this is the story for you. It's so good.

Author summary; Having lost her entire group, Lena finds herself alone in a crumbling world watched through darkened eyes. She is courageous, savage and uncomplicated. Her only companions being an obedient horse and two pet Walkers. When she finds herself outside a prison, inside the walls she finds a group of survivors capable of giving her a glimmer of hope.

Chapters; 31

- Stay

I really love this one *whines*

Author summary; Hannah has been alone for months, but somehow she's made it. But after discovering a school tucked into the northern hills of Georgia, she encounters a stranger who is just as damaged and broken as she is.

Chapters; 48

- Born Nameless

What's this? Yet another good story? Why yes, it is.

Author summary; Anamika has been alone from the start of the apocalypse and she likes it that way. Groups meant vulnerability, which meant death and Anamika wanted to survive. However, circumstances change and when she agrees to give Alexandria a chance, she finds that she just might not have met the right sort of people before, in particular a dirty, gruff redneck with a hidden heart of gold.

Chapters; 35

Random bonus fic;

- I think I liked you better when you didn't have a knife in your hand, Peaches…

I thought I’d throw this one at you, why’s it a bonus fic you ask? Its a Negan fic, not Daryl, but what the fuck, have it anyway, its really fucking good loooool I fucking love Negan man, I’ve thought about writing him so many times :’)

Author summary; When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she's certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

Chapters; 140

And that is it guys! Holy fudge nuts, can we just talk about how long this list took me to make? It’s 20 pages long guys *sobs* don’t say I never give you anything.

That nifty history thing on Ao3 I mentioned, for some reason, quite a few weren’t there and I had to go through the fics to find them. Not every single one is on the list, that would take me fucking forever to do, but these are the best ones I've read.

On that note, I want to just say something.

I’m an avid reader of fics, and as you know if you're here, a writer. So let me just take a quick minute to tell you how much writers appreciate feedback on their fics.

We write for free, we gain no money from what we do, using our spare time and take painstaking hours to not only write fics, but edit, make them perfect and get them out to you. Every like/kudos, or comment/reblog, it means the fucking world to us.

I reply to every comment I get, every time someone likes my shit or comments, it makes my fucking day. Because it reassures me I’m doing good.

I have my days where I think I'm a shit writer and that no one would care if I gave up, and then someone will comment, even something simple like’ this was good’, and it fills me with so much fucking joy.

So, if you read a fic and like it, please let us know. Even if you just like/kudos the thing, just a click, it doesn't take any time, it means so much to us. If you really liked it, comment, let us know. Don't know what to say?

‘Awesome’

‘Good job’

‘I loved this’

All of these are adequate, you don't need to over think what you say. If you liked one line in particular, tell us, it's everything.

Of course you don’t have to, but it’s always welcome is what I’m trying to say.

So with that out of the way, I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labour with this list and I’ve given you a lot to read. My eyes feel like they’re falling out and I might die, but there we go, it’s done. :’)

Much love

Sarah x

84 notes · View notes

caws5749 · 5 years

Text

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

#madison speaks #ask game

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 4 years

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My 2019 Blog Review

Today's the last day of 2019, so I thought it would be fun to dig through my archive and reflect on my blog activity over the past year. I am doing this on my phone but once I have access to a computer again, I'll put this all under a cut. I just can't do it on my phone.

Jan 2019

- Tumblr's background color changed and apparently I'm the only one who liked the change.

- Kingdom Hearts 3 release -- of course, this was a huge thing in my blog at the time. Afterall, I'd only been waiting 15 years for this game. And while I definitely had problems with the game, it also had some very memorable moments that I loved...like Sora punching Davey Jones (I never ever want to forget that moment).

- I began my adventure of learning Japanese. I'm doing pretty good so far.

- The Mummy (Brendon Fraser) appreciation. Occamshipper apparently doesn't like these movies but I love them. I met some great people because I told occamshipper that whereas they didn't like The Mummy Returns, it is in fact one of my favorite all time movies.

- Lots of rambling about my love for Lucy Heartfilia and the Nalu ship from Fairy Tail.

Feb 2019

- BoA Appreciation. I love K-Pop and BoA is one of my all time favs.

- The Vic Micnogna scandal. Honestly, I don't really care about what's going on with the trial, what bothers me is the stain that was left on Funimation because of it. The voice actors really alienated the fanbase in this scandal and I didn't like that.

- Power Rangers appreciation. I love Power Rangers and unironically, too. My favorite power ranger is Adam from Mighty Morphin.

- Within Temptation's new Resist Album dropped and I loved it. I love these epic stories they tell with their albums and the vibes they give.

- I watched the Mythica franchise and my appreciation affair for Zombie Girl began.

- Ronon/Keller appreciation. I loved this pairing so much and I'm super sad the show never did more with them.

- Legacies Reviews. Apparently people find me funny? I have a sense of humor that people enjoy?

Mar 2019

- Emily Bett Rickards revealed she would not be on Arrow for its final season. I was really depressed a out that and I got a lot of hate from comic book fans for daring to say that I like the character of Felicity Smoak.

- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles appreciation. One of my favorite anime/manga of all time.

- I was a victim of credit card fraud because of Creation Entertainment and then they tried to deny they were at fault despite hundreds of their customers reporting credit card fraud all at the same time. They eventually retracted their statement but because of this, I will probably never go to a Creation convention again. They're way overpriced and I certainly will not entrust my important info to them again.

Apr 2019

- Shadowhunters final season started airing and they went from irritating to just plain boring. Seriously, the season's biggest crime isn't how misogynist and racist it was, it was that it was completely nonsensical and boring for me.

- The release of Taylor Swift's and Brendon Urie's collab of ME! and I seem to be the only one that seems to legitimately love that song (even the "spelling is fun" part, RIP you beautiful lyric, alas, you were too good and pure to last in this hateful unfunny world of judgemental culture).

- The X Family appreciation. This is one of my favorite Taiwanese dramas and definitely my favorite series in the KO franchise.

- I broke up with the main SPN meta community (otherwise known as the Positive Police). We just didn't see eye-to-eye. I didn't appreciate them lording over the fandom telling people what they should and should not ship, telling people what they should and should not like...and they didn't appreciate me saying so. Lots of blocking went on and I'm still eternally sorry for the people that got blocked by these big fish because they simply liked my posts.

May 2019

- Game of Thrones crappy ending. What is there to really say about it? It was terrible and misogynist AF.

- Ezra appreciation from the Natural Oneders TFS at the Table D&D campaign. Ezra Lockwood was my favorite character and I'm not okay with how he was written out of the campaign.

- I was quite angry about Dean destroying Chuck's guitar like Dean was a 5-year-old child angry that he didn't get his way (seriously, Dean needs to be sent to time-out).

Jun 2019

- Quicksilver and Dadneto meta commentary from FOX 's X-Men franchise. So much lost potential there, unfortunately (thanks, Dark Phoenix).

- Orca appreciation. They're beautiful, majestic creatures and I love them, they might be my spirit animal.

- Someone unfollowed me because I wasn't giving enough attention to real-world problems. Essentially, I wasn't woke enough I guess. But I'm sorry, if I want to feel all righteous and justicey, I'll watch the news. Social justice and politics are not primary focuses of this blog.

- Godzilla King of Monsters was fantastic.

- Chuck TV Series appreciation. I love this show and I miss it dearly.

Jul 2019

- Veronica Mars Season 4 discourse. Essentially I hate what happened to Logan and what it means for Veronica's character moving forward.

- Played Love Island The Game and had way more fun than I probably rightfully should've had.

Aug 2019

- Re-watched Sailor Moon and then watched Sailor Moon Crystal. Both shows are so much fun. Plus, I love Sailor Jupiter. I love Jupiter's personality and her power aesthetic is badass to match her personality.

- Taylor Swift's Lover album dropped. I might be in the minority but it actually ranks pretty low on my list of Taylor Swift albums.

- Skillet's Victorious album dropped a d ot was a huge disappointment for me.

- I found watermelon to be my new favorite post-workout snack.

Sep 2019

- I watched The Untamed and I absolutely adore this show. I started watching more chinese dramas because of this show. And whereas I haven't found something I enjoyed quite as much from the chinese drama list, I've still greatly enjoyed a lit of the shows...but they still have nothing on The Untamed. The Untamed is just so good.

- Lover Fest was announced. And it was real shady the dealings that were going on with this. It actually kind of made me wary of actually wanting to see Taylor live.

Oct 2019

- I began the Korean drama, Extra-Ordinary You. I haven't finished it yet, but I plan to. I wanted to wait until the entire series was done airing. It does really interesting things with tropes and I greatly enjoy this show and can't wait to to return to it.

- Sherlolly appreciation. Rediscovered my love for the Sherlock/Molly ship from Sherlock.

-Leverage appreciation. Absolutely fantastic show. Highly recommend it.

Nov 2019

-Psych tv series appreciation. Another one of my favorite shows of all time.

- I wrote a Dean Winchester endgame meta. It was fun.

Dec 2019

- Kamen Rider Den-O appreciation. My favorite from the Kamen Rider franchise. I've been re-watching it and it's so much fun. Sato Takeru is amazing in it and the fact that this one of his first acting jobs and he's able to pull off doing so many different characters is seriously amazing.

- SPN finally brought us an angel/vessel dynamic in the form of Adam and Michael and it was amazing.

- The Jumanji re-make appreciation. I love it and The Next Level is just as good as its predecessor and I'm anxiously awaiting the next film in the franchise.

- My thoughts on why I'm single. Mainly because I'm lazy and I just don't feel like doing through all of the work involved in dating.

There you have it. That's 2019 for me. It had its ups and its downs but blog wise, I think I had a pretty good year.

#2019 review

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bluescarletdiamond · 5 years

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Until We Meet Again the Series: Ep. 2 Review

I just watched the first episode of this and im ALL IN HOES so let’s do this thanggggg

Section 1/4

I think this guy’s name is In? oof I forgot but he’s cute and lowkey looks like someone but I CAN’T PUT MY FINGER ON IT

Also this lady being supportive and woke is my shit

Ope she’s his mom lol (or maybe he just calls her that idk)

I highkey wonder what my mans wished for…

OMG PHARM IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST GUY EVER I LOVE WHEN HE SMILES UGH MY HEART AND SOUL HAS BEEN TRANSCENDED

He also has beautiful round eyes and a beautiful round face UGH I LOVE HIM HE HAS MY WHOLE HEART

totally random but I love the song playing and I love the Thai language its so nice to listen to :))

I love how they voice the texts lol

YOOOOO dean posted a pic of the little dessert that Pharm made AND PHARM IS SO GIGGLY AND HAPPY ABOUT IT IM CRYING

Section 2/4

Ugh the guy who plays In’s bf is attractive af

But him getting a little mad that food wasn’t made properly and was a little burnt, aint it >:|

Idk why but In’s smile is a little unnerving IDK WHY but he’s cute and I don’t mean to offend the actor idk why when he smiles its a little unsettling lol but I wanna protect him so hopefully that makes up for it

ALSO DEAN IS HOT ASF JUST GOTTA SAY THAT NOW - mans got my whole heart and body

I love the contrast of Dean’s seriousness and quietness as a opposed to Pharm’s happy and cute self

Wonder what this home situation is for Dean…

OHHHHH THATS WHY HE DID EAT I SEE I SEE

idk about this man but I wouldn’t look to see if that omelet was burnt lmao

when he said “club” I legit thought he meant like strip club lmao why am I like this

This man is not just going to throw away his food

HE DEADASS LOOKED AT HIS SHEET OF PAPER AND LEFT IT THERE WHAT

Ugh Pharm my love what little cutie uwuwuw upmost perfection

I wonder if Team will get a love interest… I didn’t really look into the show so idk who are the couples apart from the main and the ones they are based on

lmao Team and Pharm are such cute friends lol

Section 3/4

That teacher is a very muscular human being lmao

THE PARALLELS ARE CONNECTING

Also I love manow (I know this is misspelled but idk how it’s actually spelled IM SORRY)

LMAO YAOI FANGIRL but like same lol

“The only thing I know is that I’m happy when I’m with him” that shit hurted but in a good way

Manow’s reactions are my fav lmao

“My heart was beating like it was going to explode” BRHR

If they don’t meet today im throwing hands

Side note, I love this soulmate thing they’re going on - I usually don’t care for them but so far I like this one and I hope they continue doing a good job!!

Their collective “sorry” SEFSDF I LOVE THEM

I LOVE PHARM AND HIS COOKING HOBBY AND HIS SMILE AND JUST HIM IN GENERAL

OH OH HE FOUND DEAN’S PAPER THAT WAS LEFT ON THE TABLE

OPE HE JUST SAW ITS DEAN’s

Now he has to return it to him !!! ;))))))

HE FRIEND REQUEST _S Oh wait he didn’t pull through never mind :(((

Awwww he’s smiling DSOIFJSD OFSDhe just said “goodnight dean” to the piece of paper I can’t tell if that’s weird or cute or both lol

I want to know if Manow and Team will get together lol that’ll be interesting

Section 4/4

if this meeting doesn’t happen in this part IMMA THROW HANDS

IS THAT DEANS HEAD

OPEOIFS IT IS

Pharm looks so sad and worried because my poor dean fell asleep studying :((

HE ABOUTA TOUCH HIS HEAD

oh he didn’t do it loolololololololo

HE LEFT WHAT

he’s probably just gonna leave the paper there instead of confronting him ::((((((

He’s back at his table all sad and HES CRYING NO

he looks beautifully sad and fragile when he cries ugh I LOVE HIM STOP BEING SAD

Well at least he’s leaving him a note

OH HE PUT HIS NAME GET THAT SH

Never mind he erased it UGH COWARD (jk I love him(

Dean better wake up OR ELSE

Is he gonna take a picture lmaooo what is it with BL’s and taking pictures of people like? idk maybe it’s a culture thing because at least in the US that’s illegal without their consent lol

He just had to wake up after Pharm left huh >:|||||

I wonder if Dean also has nightmares like Pharm

OHHHH HE KNOWS I KNOW HE KNOWS THAT IT WAS PHARMS :::::))))))))

PHARM AND HIS CUTE LITTLE LUNCH SET UP SDKHFKJSDHFKJSDHF I LOVEEEE HIM YALL

“I know I’m pretty but I can be prettier” Ugh I love her too lmao

OH HER NAME IS SPELLED MANAOW IM SORRY YALL I’LL FIX THAT

WHAT ISODFNSDNFOS DEAN BOUGHT IT FOR HIM IM CRYING SOFDFODF ITS BEGUN AND THEY HAVEN”T MET YET

OSDNFLIJSHDFPUDIVCUHSFGNVSFIUGS THATS SO CUTE IM

random thought but I swear they’re never not wearing their uniforms lmao

CLASSIC CASE OF HEIGHT DIFFERENCE I LOVE IT ITS CLICHE BUT ITS GRWAT

OSDHFOSD DEAN IS THERE WITH HIS FRIEND WHY CANT THEY LET ME BREATH

Never mind lol what I thought would happen didn’t I

NEFBIVUSPUHDFSOID FNEVER MIND IT DID WTF SDIHFSIDFHS I CANNOT UGH HE”S SO HOT AND SHIT I JUST REALIZED THEY FINALLY MET

ALSO THESE FLASHBACKS

AnD HE’S CRYING AGAIN IMSDF S STOP MAKING HIM SAD

Waoh y'all he’s wiping his tears IM THIS IS so mUch IM

HWSDOHF Why did he leavohadsfsad Im about to beat Pharm’s ass for doing that ugh

Lmao him blaming Win for ruining the moment (which he did lol)

PHARM STOP CRYING NOW IM GOING TO CRY WITH HIM CRYING AND THESE FUCKING FLASHBACKS

omfg stop crying ISDFO ITS OVER WTF

They didn’t even get to talk ugh I cannot wait a whole week for this again :((((

#uwma #bluescarletdiamond reviews #until we meet again the series: review #until we meet again the series #until we meet again the series: ep 2

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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January 13th-January 19th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from January 13th, 2020 to January 19th, 2020. The chat focused on Verse by Sam Beck.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Verse by Sam Beck~! (http://versecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until January 19th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you think caused the past civilizations and magic to all but disappear from the world? Do you think magic’s return is really in the world’s best interest, or will it lead to more harm than good?

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. How do you think Fife will change throughout the story, and do you think he will find the strength to protect the people he cares about? In what ways will his own story continue to affect Neitya and her goals?

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Given the themes of trauma, which character’s depiction of dealing with their own past trauma stuck out to you the most and why? Do you think as a whole each character will learn to better manage their trauma, and how can seeing this help us?

Tired Programmer

I'm sorry for a stupid question, because I'm a newbie here. Are we supposed to discuss these questions here or they are just an ideas for commenting the comics above?(edited)

RebelVampire

They're just ideas. Most people tend to follow the questions, but if you have anything else you'd like to discuss regarding the book club comic for the week, you're more than welcome to. @Tired Programmer

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene is probably the one where they have Neitya open the gate. There's a lot to like about the scene. First, the art and the composition. The way its composed and paced has a real sense of intensity, so you can really place yourself in the other characters' shoes as they watch this unfold with anxiety. Plus, the glowy bits of magic used add a real mystical element as well. In terms of story, though, I love that this scene simultaneously answers a lot of questions while not answering them at all (and opening more). It's a real interesting blend of baiting the reader in with answers but keep them wanting more. Since in this case, I have a good idea of what happened, but want more elaboration that I know will come in due time. 2) I feel like the past civilizations loss of magic is because of them. Just as were seeing people in the current time want more and more from magic, to the point of challenging what is ethical for the sake of progress, I feel the past civilizations were the same. And that someone did something so grievous it caused magic to just go out of control to the point it dried up from the world. As for magic's return to the world being more good or bad, probably more bad if the current characters are any indication. Like magic isn't inherently bad at all. But you'll always have people like Branca who wants to push the limits and has a "never enough" attitude about it. So as people view magic in the world currently, I feel they can only go down the same path unless they learn some hardcore lessons about that.

3) My favorite character is probably Fife. I like how hard Fife tries and how hard it is for him to actually improve. And while I feel in a lot of stories his slow character growth might be tedious, I actually find it works a lot. Cause the traumas Fife has are very real, and everything we've been shown makes the pace of progress make sense. So I kind of enjoy seeing a character who is so close but just keeps missing the mark cause growth and change are hard. Also, Fife is adorable. So there's that too. 3) I think eventually Fife will find a better way to manage his fears and traumas, because insofar, Fife strikes me as the type to at least try to push himself into situations that make him uncomfortable. So I think eventually he'll find the strength of skill and character he's looking for. It's just gonna be a long journey and not anytime soon, but I think the current situation will kind of demand the change from him. As for his affect on Neitya, I actually think he'll serve an important role of grounding her. Neitya seems like she has a big chosen one destiny ahead of her, and between magic training and looking for answers, I think she'll often forget to take a step back and remember there are others around her who care about her and are affected by her choices. And I think Fife will help serve as the main figure that pulls her back and helps her through things emotionally speaking in certain regards.

RebelVampire

5) There's a lot in my favorite scene to choose from, but I'm gonna go for this page's middle panel http://www.versecomic.com/comic/197 I love love love that slow crawl of the text glowing. Like, I can picture it in my head. And I love that not only was it thought to be done like this, but just that simple choice adds so much to the mysticism of the moment as well as to the feeling of movement for the whole scene. <3 6) For me, it's Fife's trauma that stuck out to me the most. This ties into an earlier answer about how Fife tries. His trauma isn't something he wants, nor is it something he's purposely trying to let affect him. But then theres moments like this http://www.versecomic.com/comic/99 where is just springs up and he freezes. And then he's mad that he let that happen. And I feel like this is a really good characterization of trauma in general. Most people don't want to have trauma or deal with their trauma. It just happens, and it takes a long time to be okay either with the trauma or the fact that the trauma can have negative affects. As a whole, though, I think the characters will all definitely come to better terms with their current traumas (partly because they'll probably have new traumas). But I feel like dealing with the consequences of the gateway is gonna teach everyone stuff about themselves and force them to step up and learn to bite the trauma down to do what needs to be done.

Eightfish

1/5. I liked this page:http://www.versecomic.com/comic/29 I think it does a great job of making the world feel big The cityscapes look amazing as well: http://www.versecomic.com/comic/81 http://www.versecomic.com/comic/64 They have so much personality to them. They feel like unique, lived in places I can feel that the artist has such a love of landscapes

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think the Vel really are, and how do they tie into the gates? Do you think the Vel can be stopped for good, or is it something that will plague the world no matter what the characters do?

DaemonDan (The Demon Archives)

(finished reading Verse, will try to add some answers today/tomorrow!)

SAWHAND

(Same! Verse is a HUGE fav of mine! I just need to do a quick flip through to refresh, but this week has been ultra busy so far)

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. What is your opinion on Magdalena’s change of heart to legitimately help Branca open a gate with Neitya? Do you think her actions justified or foolish? Also, how will the dire events affect her given her role in it?

RebelVampire

7) I probably enjoy seeing Fife and Azar interact the most. I enjoy the kind of mentorish bond they have despite them kind of being opposite sorts of people. And I also like just in general how understanding Azar is of Fife and doesn't really ridicule him that much for his screwups. And I think of the relationships in the story, its the one I find to be the healthiest in its own way. 8) Given how much the entire thing Branca did felt like necromancy, I'm gonna go with theyre defiled souls. Potentially, they could be the old civilization at large. I know it was mentioned that the Vel existed back then, and maybe the more they messed with magic, the more Vel came about until that's all that was left. Until someone armageddoned them out of the world or something. As for whether they can be stopped for good, probably not. Granted I'm sure they can learn to deal with them better and quell their levels to non end of the world levels. But I think in the end they're just part of the world as corruption is part of the world.

9) I really love a lot of the details on the clothes. Like you've got patterns, you've tassle-like things, fur, etc. There's a lot of effort put into some of the smaller details of the clothing that I really think makes a lot of the outfits feel really unique. I also like how each outfit kind of expresses the character's personality such as Branca's dark wardrobe compared to Azar's more flamboyant wardrobe. So there's just a lot of consideration and effort that was put into making the clothing feel impatctful. 10) My opinion of Magdalena is wtf. XD 100% foolish. She did not consider at all the potential consequences at all and grasped way too hard at the hope straw that maybe it'd make things better. That, and curiosity. I can't justify anything she did from an outsider's perspective cause there were just too many what ifs she willfully ignored. Not that I dislike her or anything of course. But she dun goofed. I feel like Magdalena knows this though, and the events are gonna mire her with grief and guilt as she accepts more and more the hand she had in causing this. And she'll be that much more motivated to make it right, probably to the point of recklessness.

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think happened to Branca after the city was overrun? Do you think Branca will continue to be a threat to the world, or might have the events changed how Branca intends to achieve the cult’s original goals?

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you think Neitya will learn to control her magic? If so, how might she be able to fix the current situation with the gate and the Vel? Also, what do you think will happen when she meets Fife and the others again?

RebelVampire

11) I think this comic's strengths are in its designs, both visually and story-wise. There's an interesting world with its own unique problems that different from our own. The visual presence of the world is stunning, from forests to full-blown cities. The characters have a great sense of visual style and everyone looks really unique and identifiable. Just overall, everything is really designed well for a nice, overall high quality experience. 12) I think Branca probably escaped and is still gonna pursue her ends of bringing magic everywhere. I imagine, though, that she's gonna lay low and figure out wtf Neitya did in the first place and how she can use everything to her advantage. I kind of...doubt Branca will change. She seems too power hungry that even a bunch of Vel aren't gonna deter her methinks.

13) I am looking forward to learning more about the past civilization's downfall and how that still has strong ramifications in the present story's world. I feel there is gonna be some sort of epic reveal at some point that will change every character's perspective on why the world it is the way it is and their relationship with magic. 14) I think Neitya will learn to control her magic. I think even without the voices helping her, she's probably a natural and will pick it up quickly. Though probably there'll be a few things that give her endless frustration. As for fixing the current situation, the most obvious solution would be to close the gate thing opened. But I feel they're gonna go for the harder solution of learning to deal with the Vel instead. I kind of feel like Fife and Neitya will be happy to see each other, but everyone else, not so much. I think there's gonna be lots of trust issues on both side that need to be resolved, so I'm expecting tension.

twothirty

wanted to pop in and thank @RebelVampire for hosting the bookclub and providing such wonderful questions (and answers!)

Comic Tea Party

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Verse this week! Please also give a special thank you to Sam Beck for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Verse, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://versecomic.com/

Sam’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bePatron?u=722594

Verse’s Merchandise: https://hivemill.com/collections/verse

Sam’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/_twothirty

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