#also when ralph smashed the car

[sapphic-agent]

Did this scene traumatize anyone else as a kid or are you normal

[archoneddzs15]

Microsoft XBOX 360 - Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed

Title: Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed / ソニック&オールスターレーシング トランスフォームド 

Developer/Publisher: Sega / Sumo Digital

Release date: 18 November 2012

Catalogue No.: 68063

Genre: Racing

The graphics in Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed is beautiful. Especially the track designs based on various Sega franchises. They are full of colors and creativity. My favorite-looking tracks are definitely the Sonic Colors track, the Shinobi track, and the Burning Rangers track. Wait...BURNING RANGERS?! They added Burning Rangers?! Oh my God yes! Fanboying aside, the graphics are great to look at.

The music in Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed is one of the best soundtracks when it comes to Crossovers other than Smash Bros. They are remixes from various Sega franchises including Sonic the Hedgehog, NiGHTS, Billy Hatcher, and...Skies of Arcadia? The nostalgia is strong with this one. I gotta say I love the entire soundtrack and fans of Sega will too. Overall, the soundtrack in amazing.

Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed is an action racing game. It plays similarly to the first game (Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing) and Mario Kart. What's new to the game is the transform gimmick. See in certain tracks. The character's car will transform into 3 different vehicles: a car, a plane, and a boat. Most of the tracks in the game will start you off in a car, but other tracks will start you off in a boat or a plane. For example, the Golden Axe track starts you off in a boat and the NIGHTS track will start you off in a plane. The controls in this game are very responsive with very little trouble. It feels more faster and balanced than Mario Kart. Items in the game don't slow you down like Mario Kart. Don't get me wrong, they kinda can, but it's more like a stun rather than a setback. There are also minigames in Racing Transformed. The problem is that most of them are not very good. There's flying through rings, going through traffic, drift challenges, and etc. The X360/PS3/PC versions are glitch-free from my experience with them.

Two problem I DO have in all versions, however, is the way you unlock characters. In the previous game, all you have to do is to keep racing while gaining Sega Miles. You can buy all the content you want easily there. Here, you have to get to career mode and collect a certain amount of stars to get everything. The best way to get everything is to complete enough missions in hard mode. I don't like collecting a certain amount of stars to get what I want. Why can't I just do the same thing as in the previous game? I got everything no problem there. Another problem is that some of the tracks are difficult to play. Some have very tight turns and others have hazards that can break the flow of the race. Take the Burning Rangers track for example: the track has so many tight turns that can knock you out of first place. You have to have a good reaction time to not bump into a wall. Also, why is Danica Patrick in the game? I can understand Wreck-it-Ralph, but why a real-life person? She does not fit at all. But despite the criticisms, the gameplay is still solid.

[crownedinmarigolds]

17 and 49 for ralph/khloe? :)

OUGHHHHH - thank you for asking!!! :D Ralph and Khlo!!!!! <3

17. Who's more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

As rambunctious as Ralph is, Khloe is actually the initiative taker in a lot of their interactions. While Ralph made the first initial push to get the ball rolling, Khloe is always the escalator. (He's a bit of anxiety ball and while he may do the "haha it would be funny if we kissed... unless" bit, he needs to be 100% sure before doing anything.)

One of my touchstone's for Khloe is a bracelet with a bead made from glass from her destroyed car windshield, which reminds her (and me) that you gotta live and take your chances and shoot your shots now, because who knows when some Anarch Ventrue ladder climber will smash into your car head-on. So Khloe will kiss when she wants to, touch him when she wants to, say I love you first and never let him forget it because she can't live afraid. She's nervous, she's fighting the shy, she feels awkward in her body, but she wants to experience!

So! Uh, back to the start - Khloe will take that giant Nos by the hips and kiss him first! (She's done it so much already!)

49. Does either of them have a hard time being away from the other?

These two are unfortunately the very definition of having a hard time staying away from each other. I will say in this case Ralph is more of the winner on this front. Khloe and Ralph (along with the other two in the coterie) have a bit of an unhealthy codepency on the other, though Khloe can at least manage being by herself away from him and busying herself with some other work to do. Ralph can ALSO do this, but during whatever mission he's on he's definitely doom-spiraling mentally without her. He's working on it, but the poor guy has a lot of self confidence issues and is always thinking of ways to keep himself and those he loves safe. If he can't see Khlo, Khlo is not guaranteed safe.

(thank you @thesixthplaneteer for makin' my perfect boi btw! <3)

Ask questionnaire here!!

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Heartbeat(1997)-Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #? REX HAWKINS!

Heartbeat S07-Ep.16 The Queen’s Message

Should you watch this? 

It’s fun, you don’t need context for the series, and its a full story. Fun for what it is. Con in this is wet and pathetic. It’s 50 minutes, and another one-off thing. Not as fun as Pie in the Sky, still a good time. 

As always, thanks to my mutual Con lovers! If you haven't watched it, skip this, as always! I hope everyone has a great week!

@dianetastesmetal @gydima @ivegotnonameidea @treesofgreen @vicsuragi

That was his milk! Fucking rude.

How about we never borrow money ever again! Why is it so easy to get in debt with the mob? Maybe it's my small-town roots showing, but damn.

Also, I’m jealous, why does Con's characters get choked out so often? That and the gun thing!

Are we allowed to hate the cops in this one, 'cause I already do

This had to have been made in the 90s

THIS IS THE DOCTOR ONE!!!!! The one where Con is in that white coat?

How are half the people in this looking like its still the 60s, love interest’s hair is interesting

Help Calude! He’s just an old guy, Jesus lady. 

The most homeless-looking man with a homeless-looking dog. 

G-man(half-life) Con Look

Who embroiders a Doctor’s jacket like that, it looks a mechanics smock 

This is Cons character from ‘Vengeance is Mine’s backstory.

Con is named Rex Hawkings yeah?

HE’S A MECHANIC!?! Oh, he’s a handyman. 

WHEN DOES THIS SHOW TAKE PLACE? Color TV’s? Weren’t they common in the 90s?

OH GOOD! HE’S NOT HOMELESS

That's a lil gremlin dog

Okay, the poor guy broke his antique, Rex sings in a choir and has a few ladies after him, then got shoved down the steps. A cop is suspicious of his motives

Weird hat lady totally influenced someone to push Rex.

Oh, Nevil did it with ladies' help, cool

THE CHIN STRAPS ON BOBBY HELMETS AHHHH

'LOL BAXTER'. Oh to be named Lol. That is a bard DND name begging to be stolen.

Her eyelashes bug me a bit, and I have no clue why.

Lol is waiting at Rex’s shop, great, lets have the mom be a witness.

“You finger me, you tell the cops?” EXCUSE ME? Is that what Lol just said?

The amount Con is able to spit in every role he’s in shocks me.

Calling the cops won't do shit babe, he's being strangled right now.

Oh Good, another Con character who knows to be careful with what you say to the cops

I feel for the homeless-looking guy, he’s just not given any slack. 

Shit, well, damn. Rex is kinda fucked. 

Oh good, you need to swindle a shit ton of people to make the money back. Lovely situation you got going on there Rex. 

He’s not too careful about not being seen near Rex in public, is Lol. 

The fact they kept a dog quiet that long in the back of a car is shocking. Also, clown car. That was like 12 guys.

HHALKJSDAHS Looney Tunes run into a door trick

Haaahakjlja Fucking love him, smashes the antique, great

Well, at least Rex got to sing at the thing at least. To an audience of fifteen or so people.  

HAAAAAAAAhahaha they replaced his part with a child!!!! 

I thought the Queen's Speech was also done through the radio, that’s the whole thing. Let the public hear it. 

You know, I want this same setup, but Con’s character is like, way more of a dangerous criminal. Not an incidental criminal, but has to keep up these two lives

Con’s panicking is very funning

It is obvious that he just wants protection

“Will that do?” *SMASHES PHONE.* He’s dumb and way too scared to survive prison. 

 LOL IS IN LOCKED IN THE SAME JAIL CELL AS RALPH!!!!!

That feels illegal. In so many ways. 

Oh look, they’re vibin. 

Scared Con is always kind of fun. 

God I don’t know most Christmas carols, huh. 

Whelp, Rex is imprisoned with the same guy who was threatening his life, and everything else is back to normal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall, not bad. I watched this one with the brother, so my commentary was a bit more sparse this time. We made a ton of ‘Vengeance is Mine’ x ‘This show’ jokes, which was very fun. I swear, he remembers that movie better than I do which was funny. My favorite joke being that guns magically respawn around Con's characters, and he just needs to find a kit. Go out and get rid of Lol.

This is one of the few characters where Con got to be scared as shit without any way to fight back. It’s funny that the whole plot revolves around Rex being kind of a piece of shit, and the cops don’t care. It doesn't really work for me.

Seriously, he rented out broken TVs. Which is scummy, yeah, but not the worst thing, and it’s not like he did it on purpose! You know how many broken LED TVs get returned every holiday season? It’s kinda normal for a ton of them to be shit. I guess he’s also kinda a dick for getting that one guy kicked out of the church choir, but it wasn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Idk, I was a bit more sympathetic to Rex than I was supposed to be? But that’s kinda common for these shows with Con being a guest star. Especially when he’s as pathetic as Rex is. 

I have no idea what this whole show is about. If the cops are the main focus or not. I liked the poor guy, he was generally fun. Everyone else just felt vaguely off putting. Might just be the dated lingo, this came out in 1997’ so… 

CON: 8/10. Really fun. Wet, pathetic, and this is one of his earlier roles, like 1 or 2 years after Pie in the Sky and Soldier Soldier. Cool for him to morally be a wrong and not an actual threat to anybody. His singing was great, and he gave a solid performance. Scared little rat man.

It’s dated, and it feels like it’s from its time. Generally, I don’t like town gossip stories and that is what this is. I wonder how this all ties into the rest of the show, but I have no want to go find out. Not bad though. 

(I also used my Con drinking game for this, and was well-hydrated!)

Solid 7-8/10. Great time!

[aulel-process]

This made me cry 😭

It’s actually rare for me to cry from movies so wow!

Especially contrasted with the other metal:

“Ironic metal winning”

So many of these themes are ones I like! I’ve sort of explored the notion of “winning” and what constitutes a genuine win and that often times it is not what may be what is generally or widely validated (tennis champion Agassi and his biography of feeling like his widely validated tennis wins never felt like victory because of his lack of innate interest in the sport… also Bakugou and his feeling of not genuine victory because his opponent gave up)…

Also just so well done how Ralph’s moment of “protecting” his friend (smashing her race car) can be understood as truly protecting her but also so heartbreaking… and how she says to him, “you really are a bad guy” and how that inner struggle he is trying to overcome hits so much harder when it comes from maybe the first person he’s ever considered a true friend 💔

Wreck-it Ralph is wow! ✨

[nancythedrew]

ND Games assessed by the probability of sex/sex-adjacent acts happening in the subtext

If we can conclude that Harry is an unreliable narrator throughout the entire Harry Potter series then this was probably the case when we played “as” ND throughout the franchise

Disclaimer: This is a joke. Not intended to slut and/or virgin shame. It’s your body and you can make your own decisions. This is a blog overanalyzing children’s video game characters and not intended to be a moral condemnation or support of any life choices. 

Also less serious disclaimer, I’m just gonna assume the year 2021 is the case for every game for the sake of including cultural and technological references. I know Ralph would’ve been trying to download porn using dial-up internet on a Windows 95 the year STFD was released, but play along for comedic effect

SCK1: We know Darryl Gray and Connie definitely had smoke kind of friends with benefits arrangement before he formally “asked her out.” Hulk is hulk-smashing many hot babes. Hal is the guy who says he can’t do things because his “long distance girlfriend” of 4+ years wouldn’t like it

SCK-Remastered: Same as above but obligatory mention that Detective Beech has never, and will never, fuck(ed) 

STFD: Ok this one I’m kind of cringing at because any implication of some sort of sexual relationships coupled with the weird power dynamics at play in the candid plot make for some gross possibilities. I feel like as much as there was romantic tension between Rick and Mattie they did not actually have sex and their relationship was more for the press. You can fill in the blanks yourself with what kind of whacko porn Ralph was watching on his work computer

MHM: Abby has her own room but we never hear about Rose having a room, so we all know what’s happening there. There’s also that plausible theory that Charlie is homeless because he’s LGBT, which I find viable also it’s San Fran I don’t give a shit about Louis so I’ll move on

TRT: Everyone in this game is so asexual except for Jacques who makes passionate love to Isabelle as soon as they are reunited (but ONLY after she verifies that Jacques’ grandfather’s reputation as a carpenter is restored)

FIN: My headcanon is that Nick has a kink where he has to have sex in every history building he comes across, literally and figuratively. I’m thinking he’d pick the magician’s room as his locale, but maybe he’d be into the cages on stage even if no one is actually there watching. I don’t think there’s anyone else in this game that matters so

SSH: the SPICE in this game is fucking unparalleled. I don’t even know who to talk about first. Obviously the tension between Taylor and Henrik is immaculate, the JoannaxAlejandroxHenrik triangle coupled with the presence and potential backstory of the Oaxacan cum cookies?????!??!!? Also Keep-It-Real guy has definitely catfished people

DOG: I mean you can just imagine the orgies that happened in that speakeasy. I was thinking with people, but I guess dogs could too (I forget whether there’s information as to whether Malone’s dogs had been properly spayed/neutered). I don’t know who or when or how but Emily definitely had experience tying people up the way Nancy was put in that shed, so do with that what you will

CAR: This probably isn’t a good time for Joy to be having sex, and not with the watchful eyes of Miles surveying her every move. Although the chewing on pencils might point to an oral fixation. Elliott is killing it on Tinder. Harlan hopes someday he might pick up something interesting on the security cameras but never does (other than like, people’s passcodes and crime evidence). I feel like Ingrid’s wildest years are behind her but she’s definitely not exclusive with anyone

DDI: Same with Emily, Andy has experience tying people up and gagging them, but I think his might just genuinely only be in a criminal non-consensual context. Holt has vowed to remain celibate after seeing how an affair ruined Clinton’s political career, but back in a day did attempt to use the clam harvesting tool as a fleshlight, with modest success. Katie has had little success wooing a partner because everyone in the harbor knows how goddamn annoying she is. 

SHA: Dave can only fuck while wearing his cowboy boots and hat. Mary is definitely the dom in her relationship with Tex, both inside and outside of the bedroom. something something you’ll find out why his name is “Shorty” 

CUR: Ethel is always checking the clock so she knows the second she gets off work tutoring and can go to her sex club. Linda briefly considers whether consummating the marriage with Hugh resulted in her turning into the beast due to some kind of mutated Penvellyn STD. Mrs. Drake thinks that sex is only for procreation. Nigel is heartbroken after a brief love affair with Dexter at Wickford Castle that ended after Dexter confessed he was only with Nigel for his money, to which Nigel informed him he has none because he’s in grad school. Nigel has never loved again. 

CLK: Topham and Crowley were definitely fucking. The cross-dressing thing brings in a whole other element that I don’t have time to get into in this post. Jim Archer and his wife schedule sex on a bi-weekly basis. Emily thinks wearing her nightgown every hour of the day is somehow sexy and inviting. Jane’s voice is so annoying I can’t imagine her ever doing anything with anyone. I’ve said it before but Jason and Alice from Camp Avondale are DEFINITELY fucking at camp, and honestly most of the adults of Titusville have probably hooked up with one another at some point. 

TRN: Lori and Tino have surely been together pre-trip. I can’t think of any other pairing on that train that might’ve worked. I could maybe see Charleena wanting to bang the engineer just because he was so competent and didn’t give a shit about Lori, kind of like how Angela loved it when Dwight yelled at Meredith’s kid. 

I don’t wanna think about what Fatima does with that suit after hours. The old guy and his girlfriend talking in the Copper Fork seem like they have some chemistry. The way the guy at the crypt practically jizzes himself when describing Camille’s crypt makes me nervous, but I’m not gonna kinkshame. 

DAN: Dieter definitely fucks and does a poor job mixing pleasure with business (see: him and Minette). I don’t know if we’re supposed to think that Minette and Sonny had a “thing” but I can’t see sparks flying there. Jean Michel is so insufferable that he’s convinced himself he wouldn’t even enjoy intimacy. I’m sure the vendors who are grabbing stuff from the muck of their basement occasionally just grab a dildo and say it was modeled after the penis of St. Paul and sell it for 58 euros. JJ makes you pay a deposit before you fuck and you only get your money back if she finishes. 

CRE: Big Island Mike is one of the few characters who has canonically fucked, which is incredible and concerning. Pua gets some heat for not going to parties and hanging out with boys but I’m sure she does fine, and probably isn’t even into boys. I don’t care about the rest of the people in this game, except maybe Johnny Kuto who needs a more in depth backstory and development than what I can provide right now

ICE: Ollie also has canonically fucked. I could see Yanni and Lou running off together for a lil moment while Bill is passed out on the table. Lupe definitely has a long term female partner back home, but they wont get married because marriage is inherently a patriarchal concept. 

CRY: The Jolly Roger meeting is basically just a sex club/cult. Renee gets her birth control from Zeke’s because she thinks it’s more natural, but Lamont knows it’s just ground-up Yaz with eucalyptus oil. Henry discovered a stash of all of Bruno’s weird sex toys in the house but got rid of them before Nancy came. 

VEN: Colin’s got that tesserae fetish so there’s that. Helena killed her last partner after they confronted her about her role in organized crime. Margarhita tells herself she’s waiting for someone special but she’s really just fucking annoying and no one wants anything to do with her. You might think I’m gonna say Fango has something going on with the pigeons but I don’t think so. Enrico’s game house is virtually a swingers club. 

HAU: Matt has tried for years to spice up his and Kyler’s sex life, but to no avail. I don’t give a shit about Donal. Who I DO give a shit about is Kit who has taken advantage of the presence of so many cots to hook up with yours truly in as many locations on the castle grounds as possible, which is why he was doodling ideas for how the land could be used. Also I don’t know how sheep breeding works but I think they’d have to be having sex someone regularly for a flock to be sustainable? 

RAN: the monkeys

WAC: I don’t even know where to begin with this one. It’s basically just a college dorm but with bright, independent women. There’s so many love triangles/squares/polygons you can draw here, especially when there are a couple empty beds. I feel like there’s an unspoken rule that if your roommate is hooking up with someone else’s roommate, you and that someone else just go downstairs and play games together until they’re done. I just wrote that and realized that the hooking up people probably wouldn’t be using both rooms at the same time

TOT: I mean Scott and Brooke are definitely doing the hanky-panky and Pa not only knows but facilitates it and wont let people leave that backroom of the store until they’re finished; it was never about mice. Debbie is still trying to make long distance work with her college boyfriend but he’s cheating on her. Chase is waiting till marriage. 

SAW: Conceivably there’s some sexual energy between Rentaro and Miwako but it’s coming up empty for me. I do love a friends to lovers narrative but this is giving me nothing to work with. Takae has canonically fucked but isn’t currently looking for anything. Yumi has major boundary issues 

CAP: Renate has a lover in every town in every province in every continent. Anja has an OnlyFans to help pay the bills. Karl gets pretty imaginative when it comes to his little fantasy monster board game. 

ASH: Ned has never fucked. A deleted sideplot in the game involved Ned dropping a used condom into the evidence slot after his “date” with Deirdre, Nancy running an DNA test and finding that it traces back to Ned, Nancy calling Ned in a panic, Ned explaining it was just a joke and that he just wanked into the condom, and Nancy ceasing to speak with Ned; the player can then only play as Bess or George. Alexei pretty much alludes to how many chicks he could pull back in his prime. Toni is the boss that gives just a little bit too much detail about her personal life to her interns.

TMB: I mean I don’t even wanna guess what Dylan’s body count is. I am not super familiar with Islamic commands, but I would think someone like Jamila who wears a head covering would be waiting till marriage? I’m not really imagining Abdullah and Lily doing anything but those bed separators are so thin there’s definitely opportunity there

DED: I forget what’s headcanon and what’s actual canon in this game. I think Niko having a thing with an elephant and/or Gray aren’t actual things, but the elephant thing is kind of alluded? Or maybe that was Nikola Tesla and the elephant? Regardless, Gray and Niko were definitely a thing, Ellie and Mason are definitely doing things, and Ryan is blissfully unaware of all of it 

GTH: This is the incest game technically but I’ll try to be tasteful here. Clara has canonically fucked(Jessalyn’s father), Harper went off the rails too long ago to care, and Wade and Savannah did a couple times and it didn’t work out but Wade will send her vaguely sexual texts every now and then in case it’ll peak her interest. Jessalyn and Colton are both generous lovers to one another, so when they decide at the end to remain “friends” they mean friends with benefits, at least until Colton can figure himself out. 

SPY: Zoe is the kind of person to do social experiments as to which one of her fake identities is the most sexually appealing. Sometimes her partners who find out her true identity ask her to revert back to a fake one in the bedroom. Alec keeps Tinder installed for a quick hook up depending on where he travels to. Moira is asexual and fine with it. Ewan is an incel. 

MED: Uhhhh what the hell happens in this game. George breaks her leg so that makes things hard, that couple that’s competing together is probably getting freaky, Bess spends the whole game being unable to flirt so nothing there, there’s the “villain” lady that has no personality other than “I’m gonna win” and there’s also Sonny Joon. My guess is after the intense sexual heat of Beech Hill Sonny has committed himself to creating workspaces as professional as possible, which is why the come on from Minette was so horrifying to him.

LIE: I don’t remember shit about this game but I know there’s lots of characters of lots of genders and lots of props and lots of costumes and it turns out they’re all working together and in close communication the whole time??/ you guys can fill in the rest 

SEA: Gunnar has canonically fucked, so fuck. Dagny we know is currently single and doesn’t seem to be looking for anything right now, though I’m sure she can and does pull when she wants to. Is Soren gay?? I think that’s a theory. The only guy other than dank ass Gunnar is the guy Soren kidnaps, which I don’t think is a really great scenario to be intimate with someone. Elisabet and Magnus probably do it on the reg but mainly missionary.

MID: I think I can say this because I think they’re both minors or both of age, but Jason and Mei are in love and smashing like rabbits. The witch lady and the shop owner seem like they could attract a specific niche if so inclined. Judge Danforth has canonically fucked. Deirdre needs to chill out with her crazy stalking of Nancy if she ever wants a shot. The museum older sister lady is boring as hell so I doubt she’s getting any 

[sunflowergirl522]

You Need To Remember 3

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Your best friend Peter gets sucked into a different reality in front of you and you use your power to go after him. You find yourself in a new reality but you don’t remember how you got there.

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1681

Masterlist Previous Part

When Peter had hit the back of Monica’s head to knock her out you gasp. What was going on?

“Peter! What are you doing?”

“What I should’ve done before hun.” And then you’re greeted with darkness. 

When you wake up you’re in some sort of attic with a headache in the back of your head where you were hit. Monica’s yelling for Wanda and banging on the window while Peter sits on the couch with a guitar. You’re laid on a recliner in a corner of the room and sit up and grimace at the heart beat in your head.

“Don’t waste your breath babe. No one can hear you from in here.” Monica turns around to look at Peter and glances at you when he calls her babe. You just shrug at her not knowing what was going on as Peter starts to play the guitar. Peter’s never touched a guitar in his life. How did he know now? He strums something dramatic and makes a face at Monica as she looks between the door and him. She tries to run and you know that that’s a bad idea before she even does it. It seems like she’s forgetting about his super speed. He beats her there, getting in her way, and flicks her back.

“Shit, Monica!” You rush to her side to help her into a sitting position and make sure she’s okay. You help her over to the recliner that you were just on while Peter goes to make a smoothie or something. “What is wrong with you? Why would you do that?”

“Can’t have the two of you messing everything up for the missus.”

“What is this stuff?” Monica asks in what seems to be disgust and you try to figure out what he was talking about. Who’s the missus?

“This is my man-cave.”

“Man-cave?” Your eyebrows scrunch together, not once has Peter ever used the term man-cave.

“A place to chillax, you know, while the missus is turning up trouble.”

“What the fuck?” You mutter to yourself as Peter walks over to the tv and Monica rifles through the papers on the stand next to her.

“You a fan of Steven Seagal?” When he doesn’t get a response he frowns and keeps doing whatever it is he’s doing.

“Agnes doesn’t live here.” You turn to Monica to see her staring down at a piece of paper and lean on the recliner to look over her shoulder. She’s holding a picture of what seems to be Peter with brown hair and a different name typed underneath it. “You do.” Her mouth is wide with shock as she looks up at the boy who fumbles with something. “You’re Ralph Bohner?” She sounds just so confused and you have to admit you are to but you can’t help but also find yourself amused.

“Boner.” Peter chuckles and you giggle a bit at it too. Monica shoots you a look and you shrug at her in response as you cover your mouth. It’s a ridiculous name and you’ve always been as immature as Peter.

“How is she controlling you?” Monica gets up as she asks.

“You wanna tussle again?” Peter gets into a fake fighting stance and bounces around. Monica catches him by surprise and flips him over her shoulder and pins him to the ground. “Meow. She’s feisty.” You ignore how much him flirting with Monica hurts you considering he’s probably under some control. As soon as Monica rips the ugly puka shell necklace from Peter’s neck his face morphs into a scared look. “Please, spare my life!”

“Nice to meet you Ralph.” Monica gets off of him then and you teleport to stand in front of the window behind his head. 

“Huh?” He goes to lean up on his elbows and you step closer to lean over his body. Sensing you, he looks up and relief floods through his features.

“Yeah nice to meet you.”

“Y/n!” He uses his speed to stand in front of you. “Are you okay? God I didn’t hurt you too bad did I?” His hand goes to the back of your head to feel for a bump.

“I’m alright Peter, don’t you dare start apologizing because I know you won’t stop. What happened anyway? One minute you’re about to help Wanda and the next you’re knocking us out.”

“I don’t know I guess when I was me for that short bit she was distracted but I was snapped back into her control when I got closer to the house.” He turns to point at Monica. “Good job with the necklace though, I didn’t even know.”

“I could see her energy.” Monica shrugs before tossing it over her shoulder. “We should go help Wanda.” 

“We’ll catch up.” Monica nods at you before running out the door. “What is this about?” You hold up the picture for Peter to see.

“When I ended up on the other side of the portal none of this shit was going on. It must’ve been just before it so I found a picture of some dude who looked enough like me to pass and made up an alias.”

“And you chose Ralph Bohner?” One of your eyebrows quirk up and a small smile forms on your lips.

“Alright so I saw it on a gravestone when I ran through the neighborhood to figure out where I was and thought it was funny.”

“It is pretty funny, I’ll give you that. It’s definitely a name I can see you picking. I’m really glad you’re alright Pete, I was so worried when you disappeared.”

“I was pretty worried too. I didn’t know if I was ever gonna see you again.” Peter steps closer to you and caresses the side of your face. The two of you stare at each other for a minute before you clear your throat.

“We should probably go.”

“Yeah.” Peter holds onto the back of your neck and the two of you make it to the town square just in time to see a funnel cake truck smash into a SWORD car. A robotic looking man comes out of the library and the twins run to him yelling dad. “That’s Vision, shame you never got to meet him.” You and Peter stay behind a building so that Agatha doesn’t see the two of you. The two of you watch as the two witches fly up and start to fight in the sky.

“Oh shit!” You both exclaim together as Agatha seems to drain Wanda completely of her power. Peter zips off and comes back with some popcorn offering the bucket out to you. You take a handful as you watch as Wanda takes all of her power back and transforms. 

“Damn, she looks good! It’s a good thing I’m so into you Pete because otherwise I’d be hitting on your not really sister.” 

“You’re into me?” You don’t even realize what you just said until his words feel your ears.

“Um, well yeah, have been for a while now.” You might as well let him know, maybe if he freaks out you can get Wanda to erase his memory or something.

“Good, I’m pretty into you too.” He just shoves another handful of popcorn in his mouth and keeps watching the moment in front of the two of you and it suddenly starts to turn to night as Wanda and her family walk away. When the both of you walk over to Monica it’s completely dark and the walls of the world are shrinking. 

“Is that popcorn?” Monica asks the two of you pointing at the bucket and you nod at her with a small smile. The wall of the world goes past the three of you causing it to be day again.

“It’s not often we get to watch the fights.” You shrug and Peter takes your hand in his own after zipping over to throw the bucket away. “We’re normally almost dying in them.”

Wanda walks into the town square again and all of the townspeople stop to stare at her as she walks up to the three of you. Monica's attention goes to her and she takes a few steps to meet up with Wanda.

“They’ll never know what you sacrificed for them.”

“It wouldn’t change how they see me. And you, you don’t, you don’t hate me?”

“Given the chance and given your power, I’d bring my mom back. I know I would.”

“I’m sorry. For all the pain I caused.” You look over at Peter to see concern on his face and you can tell that he just wants to wrap his arms around this Wanda and console her. He had lost his twin in your own reality and you know how hard this must be for him. You squeeze his hand to remind him you’re here and a small smile appears on his face.

“I know.”

“I don’t understand this power. But I will.” It’s then that Wanda’s attention goes to the two of you. Peter smiles at her and does a little wave and she walks up to the two of you. “So who are you, then?”

“Uh, I’m Peter, Peter Maximoff. Weird, I know right.” He does an awkward laugh and rubs the back of his neck with his free hand and you decide to come to his rescue.

“We’re from a different reality, if that helps at all. He was plucked out of ours and put here I think to get to you, we aren’t completely sure though.”

“Huh, nice to meet the two of you.” Sirens start to get close then and Wanda starts to walk away before turning to face you three. “Goodbye Monica, Peter.” She nods at Peter in acknowledgement.

“Bye, Wanda.” Monica says before Wanda flies away. “Good luck.” As cops start to swarm around you, you turn to Peter.

“Let's go home.” You do what you did to get here and use your strength to open a portal to your own reality and Peter pulls you through before it can snap shut.

Peter Taglist: @amourtentiaa​ @simpforquicksilver​ @parkersdarling @loveyou3000-mcu

[cecilspeaks]

168 - Secret Blotter

Life is 10 per cent what happens to you And 90 per cent false memories of what you think happened to you. Welcome to Night Vale.

In an effort to bring more transparency to the Sheriff’s Secret Police, a chronicle of one night’s dispatches will be released to the public. This action comes at the behest of the City Council, who voted unanimously on a resolution to ban plastic bags.

Now, OK, while those two things may not seem related, Sheriff Sam misunderstood the vote as a rallying cry against tyrannical surveillance and a personal threat, involving being thrown to the pit of vipers behind the bowling alley. Sheriff Sam, who has a paralyzing fear of vipers, proposed a compromise in which Secret Police dispatches would be temporarily divulged, so the public can get a better idea of what agency does and how tax dollars are being spent. A plan which was readily accepted by the Council, though they continued to roll their eyes and gnash their teeth and chant softly: [creepy voice] “Viper pit! Viper pit! Blessed be the viper pit!” Which is just how they express a “yay” vote on procedural issues.

As a result, Night Vale has its first ever police blotter. Let’s dig in. 9 o’clock PM. Missing person reported inside the Ralphs. Night manager on duty says employee went to stock some cases of Lime-A-Ritas in the new walk-in beer cave and never came out. Reporting officer thoroughly checked beer cave and confirmed it was deserted. Three cases of the beverage were left haphazardly in the middle of the floor, and a loading dolly had tipped over onto its side. Manager states employee originally brought in four cases. Manager added one missing case of Lime-A-Ritas to the report. When asked if this kind of thing has happened before, manager changed subject and asked if officer would like to look at some of the children’s drawing contest submissions. Officer was amenable to this request.

9:16 PM. Noise complaint. Dog barking in an unknown language annoying residents. Dirty white fur, human face. Gone when officer arrived on scene.

9:25 PM. Two underage residents attempted to sneak into an R-rated movie by pretending to be one tall person in a trench coat. When confronted by officer, they turned into a swarm of flies and dispersed.

10:01 PM. Noise complaint. A sound resembling television static was being emitted from a shower drain out in the Hefty Sycamore trailer park. When recorded and played backwards, it turned out to be a broadcast from a 1952 episode of the game show “Beat the Clock”, where contestants competed to see how many pieces they could smash a clock into. A plumber was called.

10:15 PM. A resident of Desert Creek searched for “easy tortellini recipes”, but none of them were easy enough. It was so late already, and they needed to get to bed soon, but they were also very hungry and needed to eat dinner first. They wanted something quick, but they also wanted a real dinner, not a false dinner like… cereal? They became hyperaware that the more they deliberated on what to make, the longer it was all taking. And factoring in the decision-making time on top of the meal prep time was becoming additionally stressful in relation to the desire to get to bed soon.

11:30 PM. A Coyote Corner’s swimming pool filled with blood and began swirling furiously in a counter-clockwise direction. Home owner appeared distressed. Officer advised home owner to drain pool.

11:31 PM. Multiple residents awoke in a cold sweat from the same dream. It wasn’t necessarily a nightmare, but it was definitely not pleasant. The only thing they could recall afterwards was that it was showing, and that there was a tree with seven limbs.

12:00 AM. Witches.

2:00 AM. That time of night when everything starts getting hazy. Were you headed to a crime? Checking a surveillance station? Listening to a wiretap? Going home? Returning to headquarters? Signalling an invisible helicopter? Sometimes you lose track. An old local legend comes into your mind, and you try to recall the details. It’s been so long since you heard it. You watch the headlights bounce along the dirt road ahead, and your eyes begin to play tricks on you, sensing movement in the dark margins where the light doesn’t penetrate. You turn off the lights and slow the vehicle. They weren’t tricks after all. There is movement here, a dark writhing mass entering the roadway. You are forced to stop the car. Eyes flesh open in the dark. Many sets of eyes. This isn’t part of a half-remembered legend. This is something very, very real.

More of the blotter soon. But first, let’s have a look at traffic. You’re hunting in a pack near the Old Highway. The smell of blood is in the air. Headlights bounce over the rise and your stomachs rumble. The moon flees behind the clouds and you fan out, along both sides of the road, moving parallel to it like a lazy river. The car approaches and slows. It shuts off its headlights, as you knew it would. Some of you push ahead to the car, blocking its path. Others move to the rear and others remain at the sides boxing it in. You converge, surrounding it more tightly the door opens, then closes again, the fleshy creature inside cursing softly. You hear a crackle of radio static, but you know it is inconsequential to you. You consume the metal shell first. There are explosions of air and the hiss of leaking fluids. Then the glass, crunchy and cool in your collective gullet. And finally, the screaming delicacy in the center, the cloth-wrapped package of meat and bone. There are other things afterward, less enjoyable, but consumable nonetheless. Papers and electronics, and the pleather, and cold French fries in the back. Nothing must remain. By the time the moon emerges from the clouds, the old highway will be deserted once more. This has been traffic.

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s show is brought to you by TickTock. The only app that tells you exactly how long you have left to live. The sleek countdown display synchs easily with all of your devices, so that you can check your mortality at a glance. The premium edition provides additional details, such as manner and location of death, and updates to the minute, as you make different choices throughout your day. You’ll find yourself asking questions like, why did returning a library book just subtract 4 years from my life? How did leaving late for work change my final outcome from drowning in gulch to birds of prey? Why does it say “tomorrow” all of a sudden? [panicking] It must be some kind of glitch, right? OK, OK, I’ve updated the app but it still hasn’t changed. It still says “tomorrow”. I just got checked out by a doctor and they said I’m in great shape, I’m staying home from work, I’m not answering the door, I’ve closed the blinds and I’m sitting on the couch, surrounded by pillows, not moving, not even blinking, I’ve done everything dammit, EVERYTHING!!! WHY DOES IT STILL SAY “TOMORROW”???!! Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. This has been a word from our sponsors.

Back to the Sheriff’s Secret Police blotter. 2:30 AM. Responded to an officer distress call on the Old Highway. No sign of officer or vehicle found. Must have been a false alarm.

3:15 AM. Nude man ranting in middle of old highway, carrying a case of alcoholic beverages. Identified as the night shift stocker at the Ralphs. Claims he entered the walk-in refrigerator at work, reached up to place the case of beverages on the shelf, and abruptly found himself in a network of ice caves. He eventually climbed up a snowy mountain where he met a robed figure he refers to as “The Oracle”. “The Oracle” foretold of a hungry darkness with a thousand eyes and urged that the portal must be cloooosed. The Ralphs employee also reported that “The Oracle” had slurred speech and seemed unsteady on its feet, and may have been inebriated. After this exchange, he then found himself standing in the Sand Wastes nude. He does not know where his clothes are. Officer escorted man back to the Ralphs to finish out his shift.

3:35 AM. Domestic disturbance. “He won’t stop practicing the flute!” a Cactus Bloom resident reported, indicating his dopplegänger who stood in the corner of the bedroom, staring unblinkingly at the wall and playing the same halting scale on a wooden flute. Officer advised resident to take a melatonin and try to get some sleep. “If he doesn’t stop, I can’t be held responsible!” the sleep-deprived resident threatened. “Sounds fair,” the officer agreed and left the premises.

4:00 AM. An alarm clock went off in Old Town. A woman attempted to get out of bed, but her cat walked sleepily onto her person and began purring, preventing her from rising. Her cat is elderly and the woman knows its number of purrs are finite and must be honored. Eventually, she put on coffee and took a shower. She used Herbal Solution shampoo for a lifelong dandruff condition, though she has not seen any improvement after years of using the products. She continues using it, because she likes the way it smells. It smells medicinal, like it’s helping, and it does tingle, like the label promises. The tingle means it’s working, the label says. So it must be working.

And now a break form the police blotter for some sports news. Night Vale High School – go Scorpions! – has added a concession stand to be used during sporting events. The parent-teacher association proudly unveiled the new stand at last week’s baseball game, dedicating the plywood structure to the memory of favorite AP auto shop teacher, Nick Teller. Teller reacted with confusion at this news, as he is still alive. “Oh, of co-, no, of course you are,” the PTA responded awkwardly, “but we just wanted to honor – your memory, as in what a great memory you have. You-you know how you’re really good at remembering stuff? We just wanted to, yeah uh, honor that,” the PTA went on, seemingly unable to stop explaining themselves, whilst standing in front of the dedication plaque, which featured several doves, a Celtic cross, and an image of clasped hands. Teller admitted he does have an excellent memory and is very honored. The following concessions are available at the Teller memorial stand: Special allowances, the granting of rights, the acceptance of certain things as truth, the yielding of certain other things as untruth. Also, RC Cola and popcorn.

Oh, which reminds me, we actually have another word from our sponsor, Royal Crown Cola. Invented by Ferdinand the 1st, king of Naples, who built a museum of mummies inside his palace to house the bodies of his slain enemies. “I am parched from building this museum of mummies,” he famously said, and the rest is history. RC Cola – the drink of ruthless monarchs.

In local news, I have the results of the Ralphs drawing contest. Local school children were encouraged to submit a drawing to the store this week, depicting their favorite Ralphs product. I’ll start with the runners up. The third place drawing comes to us from Ella Snider, a student from Night Vale Elementary, and it shows a large black scribbled mass with a lot of eyes on it, with the Ralphs building on fire in the background. Very creative, Ella!

The second place drawing comes from Jace McCoy, also from Night Vale Elementary, and this one also shows a black mass with many eyes and a big bright red splatter of blood across the page. Nice use of color, Jace!

And the grand price winner comes to us from Heather (Fathusam) [0:16:52] of Daggers Plunge Charter School. Her drawing features a beautiful black mass with lots of lovely eyes, and it’s holding a box of store brand frozen pizza rolls. Congratulations, Heather!

Back to the blotter. 4:01 AM. Distress call from the Ralphs. Upon arrival, officer was pulled into the manager’s office. The employee from the earlier incident was also present, huddled under a desk. Manager frantically indicated the surveillance window that looks out into the store, which he normally uses to spy on shoppers and report on what they are wearing for his Customer Fashion newsletter. Shelves of products were being knocked over and consumed by a vast dark nothingness. The back of the store then burst into flames. The manager implored the officer to quote, “Do something, please, or we’ll all be killed!” Officer used the intercom system to tell the nothingness to vacate the store immediately, and advised it of trespass and vandalism laws. The nothingness took the form of many dark shapes with many eyes. A tank of fresh seafood exploded and numerous shellfish were damaged. Officer advised the shapes that they were all under arrest. “Stop talking to it!” the manager cried and knocked the intercom mic out of the officer’s hand. Approximately 1000 eyes turned to look at the office window. Interesting. Well.

Let’s have a look at that weather.

[“Best Friends” by Curtains: https://curtains.bandcamp.com/]

4:35 AM. Situation escalated at the Ralphs. Officer, manager and employee embraced one another under the office desk amid the shattered glass of the surveillance window. The building trembled around them, products flew through the air, half the inventory was sucked into oblivion, and a great fire blazed, spreading to the bakery section. After doing an estimated 200,000 dollars worth of damage, the darkness and its many eyes entered the beer cave and did not come back out. Officer investigated the beer cave and found it to be empty. “You have to shut down the cave!” the Ralphs employee implored the manager. “That’s its doorway to our world!” The manager hedged and responded that a big heat wave was coming and if they hoped to recoup any of their losses, keeping the beer cave open was going to be instrumental to the store’s survival. “People will spend big on frosty cold beverages,” the manager responded. “Not to mention they’re gonna like standing around in there for a nice cool-down.” The employee wrapped his robe tightly around himself. Oh, the manager had lent him the robe, one of the many fashion items the manager kept in his collection, since the employee still didn’t know where his clothes had gone. “OK,” the employee said. He picked up a Lime-A-Rita and guzzled it down in one continuous gulp. Then he said, his voice already a little slurred: “I’ll have to try to shhhhtop it myself.” He ran into the beer cave and promptly vanished.

5:40 AM. Tree with seven limbs seen growing out of a hole in the vacant lot out back of the Ralphs. Snow observed on the branches, which melted off quickly as the sun rose.

5:45 AM. Real pretty sunrise.

Well, that concludes our Secret Police blotter. I dunno about the rest of you, but I personally feel a lot more safe and secure getting a closer look at what our Secret Police do. On behalf of Night Vale Community Radio, thank you for your service. I’m sure we will all rest a lot easier knowing that our fate is in your hands. Our sleeping bodies are under your watchful eye, and our every thought and action is being monitored for the greater good. As Secret Police mascot Barks Ennui always says: Stay tuned, stay, vigilant, report your neighbors. Woof. Woof.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Six out of seven dentists have no idea where that seventh one disappeared to. Honest, they all have rock solid alibis and that blood could have belonged to anyone.

[thisguyatthemovies]

In praise of ‘Skyfall’

The opening scenes of “Skyfall” – from Daniel Craig’s James Bond emerging from the shadows to the final notes of Adele’s theme song – last 16 minutes, 45 minutes. And they are the best 16 minutes, 45 seconds in any Bond movie. They are arguably the best opening 16 minutes, 45 seconds in any movie.

When “Skyfall” premiered in 2012, it was an important moment in a long-lasting but inconsistent and aging movie franchise. Craig had made his debut as Bond (or as some derisively called him, James Blonde, for having lighter hair than his predecessors) in 2006’s “Casino Royale,” and it was a stunning intro. The film, considered one of the best entries in franchise history, gave us a Bond that was brutal (as in the opening scene in a men’s room, filmed in wonderfully grainy black and white) but also had a heart (he falls in love with Vesper Lynd). Craig made it clear he was not your father’s (or grandfather’s) 007, and it was a breath of fresh air for a franchise that needed one after a string of mediocre Bond films.

But then, just two years later, came “Quantum of Solace,” a noticeable step backward. Director Marc Foster opted for more of an action movie approach, and the result was a film indistinguishable from many in the genre. Much of Bond’s charm was sidestepped, and no doubt the film’s cohesiveness was hampered by a writers’ strike during its making. Some critics put “Quantum of Solace” near or even at the bottom when ranking the Bond movies.

So, the 007 franchise was at a crossroads in the early 2010s. Another so-so film would be, to detractors, more proof that James Bond had outstayed his welcome, that he was a relic of a time gone by.

A bold, new approach was needed. And a bold, new approach was taken. Producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli made some important decisions after “Quantum of Solace,” the most important one being bringing in British director Sam Mendes, whose 1999 film “American Beauty” won the Best Picture Oscar. Many right moves followed, from hiring cinematographer Roger Deakins (“The Shawshank Redemption,” many Coen Brothers movies) to lining up a cast that was unusually stout for a Bond movie (including award-winning actors Judi Dench, Javier Bardem, Ralph Fiennes and Albert Finney). The makers also set out to make a Bond film that emphasized its British roots and paid homage to the series’ history while also bringing it solidly into the 2010s and making it more relatable to younger viewers.

The result was a special movie, not just by James Bond standards but by any measure of great films. And that was apparent in the first 16 minutes, 45 seconds of “Skyfall.”

“Skyfall” wastes no time getting down to business. It begins with a shadowy figure walking toward the camera. The audience does not realize it is Bond until his face reaches the sunlight and he draws a gun. He discovers a comrade has been shot, and an important computer hard drive has been stolen (technology and our use of it being one of the important themes). Bond wants to help his fellow agent, but “M” (Dench) is more concerned with the hard drive, and this is important in establishing her concern with country above all else.

Then the action begins, and it is breathtaking. Bond chases the bad guy (the one with the hard drive), Patrice (Ola Rapace), through the open-air markets of Istanbul, driven around by Eve Moneypenny (Naomie Harris), though we won’t know she is Moneypenny until the film’s ending. The chase shifts to motorcycles, first along rooftops, then inside the Grand Bazaar shopping mall, then back on streets before Bond purposely crashes his motorcycle into the side of a bridge, somersaults and somehow manages to grab on to a train boxcar below with just one arm. Caught your breath yet?

Bond uses a bulldozer (and gets shot while maneuvering it) to smash into the train and, in a nod to Bond tradition, adjusts his cuffs while entering the open end of a passenger car. He and Patrice fight on top of the train rolling through the Turkish countryside, ducking to get through tunnels, until Moneypenny, who has followed alongside the train in a vehicle, is left with only one choice: shooting at the men and hoping she hits Patrice instead of 007.

Moneypenny complies with M’s orders (“Take the bloody shot!”) and hits Bond, who falls off and takes a long dive into the waters below. When Moneypenny reports to MI6 headquarters “agent down,” M turns to look out a window at a rainy London outside, and the sound of the rain morphs into Bond floating in river rapids, presumably dead like so many Bonds before him.

The lifeless body of 007 goes over a waterfall and plunges into the water just as the first brass notes kick off Adele’s theme song. It marks another brilliant choice by the filmmakers. Adele is British (the previous two Bond theme songs had been performed by Americans Chris Cornell and the duo of Alicia Keys and Jack White) and was at the height of her popularity, and she and fellow songwriter/producer Paul Epworth came up with a song that was, like the movie, both fresh but decidedly Bond.

The song is the stuff of goosebumps, especially as it plays over the titles sequence (another Bond tradition) by Daniel Kleinman. The sequence is visually stunning, the best in the history of the franchise, from a woman’s hand pulling the floating Bond into some unknown, fantastical place to the camera zooming in until it takes us all the way into Bond’s left eye. It’s all there: guns, beautiful women, blood, characters past and current, shadowy figures, hints of what is to come and, of course, Bond. It’s mesmerizing.

The opening 16 minutes, 45 minutes set a lofty bar, and for the most part “Skyfall” clears it. Dench is at her best, and that’s saying something. Bardem’s Silva is an intriguing, creepy and menacing villain. Harris and Ben Whishaw as “Q” breathe new life into important characters audiences expected to see. Craig, as an agent getting on in years but still driven by an uneasy love of country, recaptures the magic from “Casino Royale.” “Skyfall” is beautifully conceived and shot, and it hints at Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight,” another film by a British director that preceded Mendes’ take on Bond by four years and, like “Skyfall,” was deserving (but did not get) a Best Picture nomination.

“Skyfall” is an important bridge between Bond’s past and present. Mendes could not capture lightning in a bottle twice (his follow-up “Spectre” being a solid middle-of-the-pack entry in the series), but he made the best of the Bond movies at a time when the franchise desperately needed it. And he and everyone involved made one incredible 16 minutes, 45 seconds of movie magic.

[pplydm]

ePUB#39

Title: The Outsider Author: Stephen King

Commenced May 24 2020 Completed May 27 2020

Slowly pushing myself to immerse in the realm of Stephen King compositions. I’ve already done “Everything’s Eventual”; it was a collection of outrageous shortish narratives of horror. MAJOR SPOILERS ahead!

“The Outsider” didn’t disappoint. It gets a substantial satisfying solid 4/5 star rating, also my very first (except Everything’s Eventual) Stephen King lengthy novel. In this read, Stephen King captures the realistic rawness of an individual’s emotion. I even categorize this as a Drama, other than genre Supernatural Horror. There were scattered risible roasting dialogues in here, from beginning to the end. An example were some slightly harassing approaches of the stereotypical police characters whether during the arrest or the witness interviews. I however took delight in the chapters embodying their POVs, specifically of the private investigator. The baseball, football and basketball features gave this a spirit of locality like as if the Flint County residents were just typical neighbors you’d spot in one’s own community. Although I myself am not into novels showcasing any sport element. The present 20th century was boldly represented by the following modern references: Huffington Post, Harlan Coben, Slenderman, etc. There was also a sighting of my personal favorite, a Hercule Poirot trademark: vital information being considered unimportant.

There is a great quantity of characters one must keep informed of in this book. Frankie and Ollie Peterson were respectively the murder victim and his brother. I presumed Ollie has emotionally recovered and now clearheaded, turns out he was just suppressing his devastation. Ralph Anderson was primarily introduced as the assigned detective and interviewer. He was the protagonist out of all the abundant personas. He has this recurring and telling memory of a bra strap which terribly confused me about its relevance. The number of times Ralph mentions how brutal Frank’s gruesome death is irritating, as if he’s actually not bothered at all. Props to Jeannie, Ralph’s wife, for supportive gestures, providing wisdom and advises; not nagging or annoying. Initially assumed the accused Terry Maitland was contending with his doppelgänger. Terry’s wife, Marcy, is one heck of an emotionally strong woman; I admire how she handled every awful news that came. They have I infer a family lawyer, Howie Gold whom is too sympathetic for a defense attorney. Here included a prosecutor named Bill Samuels. I swear I could’ve smashed his face if I meet him in real life. He has this hostile boastful remarks which definitely got me rolling my eyes. At other times, I don’t even want to read his lines. A late addition, Holly, a peculiar, colorful almost-detective personality. Exceedingly pleaded for Holly, who founded the whole concept of an outsider, to maintain appearance until the finale. Come to think of it, the heinous manner Frankie was killed couldn’t really have accomplished by any sane human. The chapter transitions are fast-paced. In Sorry (July 14th-15th) Chapter 12, I imagined these scenes visually then thought of a sitcom type from the Peterson family entering the hospital building to the part of the physician’s declaration. It was amusing, particularly the aftermath reactions of other people in the emergency room. Arriving on the Footsteps and Cantaloupe (July 18th-20th) Chapter 5, I bumped with an undoubtedly brilliant and intense description of a felo-de-se.

Questions as I read on..and the answers that I discovered in the latter

1. Why didn’t Terry immediately supplied his alibi when he was arrested and first put in the police car?

Answer: My personal opinion was probably that his trust and confidence on his fellow townmates diminished because of the public shaming.

2. Wondering why Terry seems to be the focus of this book to the point which the victim’s immediate family all died?

Answer: his side could actually be the more emotionally and spiritually damaged, especially with his ruined immaculate reputation and injustice

3. Has Peter Maitland got anything to do with murder?

Answer: Nope, didn’t even get any exposure

I watched the movie “It” both the part one and part two. Was planning on reading the book but put off because it was just too long. I found similarities between “The Outsider” and the movie ”It”.

1. The protagonist had a team with him, about 5 to 6

2. The gang is diminished by 1 to 2 character involvements apparently they were skeptic; the remaining pursues the mission

3. The mission would be to stop the perpetrator from killing again

4. Villain (mostly supernatural) uses someone (a human) to help

5. The hiding place of the baddie was underground, for this read, a previous tourist attraction cave and for “It”, the sewers

6. Both featured culture, one were Mexican frightening folktales and the other was Native American tribes

7. Two words: Child disapperances

“Just promise me you’ll stop every once in a while and acknowledge the day, honey. It’s the only one you’ll have until tomorrow.”

——^ I find this quote, encouraging and substantive

Time had passed, and time probably did heal all wounds, but some of them healed so slowly.

——^ this was just too accurate to ignore

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids 3″ twice in one week and back-to-back throughout my childhood and here are my thoughts

whos gonna use 3d effects at home

up your prices

JUNI NO YOUR H A I R

hahah funney cuz he stepped in gum

its so quiet my volumes at 44 and its too quiet

the music sounds a little like isle of dreams from the last one

oh hes wearing the necklace!!

fun fact i hadnt seen any of rocky until freshman year and when i did i didnt know where i had seen that guy before. turns out hes the toymaker

juni dont ever step out of line for ANYTHING

buscemi!!!!

spider dude!!!!

ralph!!!!!

gerti!!!

whats up with the fancy pot. i hate it. doesnt match the aesthetic

if you havent seen her since christmas “last year” then that means you havent seen her in over a year. someone would have gone for her by now

shes NINE???????

“everyones your family” yeah no i dont want “everyone” in my family

“retired” youre ELEVEN

what was with that zoom in

“games and theory” dont you mean GAME THEORY

that dude looks like colonel sanders

ew its donnagon

oh shit mrs giggles is cute

v boxx???? ew

and i OOP-

i just realized theres been an “are you with me” type thing in each movie so far

why are there only five levels????? logically there would be one tutorial level, so you only get 4 levels to play on

he go ZOOM

looks like jumpstart

or reader rabbit

he can still use telepathy????

why is he carrying the coins???????? 

this guy looks like antman

he looks nothing like a toad

wait thats the floating head from sharkboy and lavagirl. tobias i think???????

so its hardcore mode????? just make a new account

they only added that for more 3d effects didnt they

this is just target smash from smash bros

the dark side of the moon doesnt exist stupid

youre TESTERS why are you trying to WIN

“knows karate”

when i was younger i was so confused why the time went down but now i realize that they actually had to GET grandpa

yeah well he DID deal with it

iron man? dont you mean valentin avellan?

i paused the movie for like 20 minutes to find my old spy kids 3d glasses and couldnt and now im sad

the dude in silver looks like this guy i know

juni is bumblebee

p r e d d y

he escaped by winning. if demetras so good, why is she still here???

WHY DOES HER MECH HAVE TIDDIES

“no ear biting” isnt that mike tyson

wait is the platform gyroscopic or not????? it is in some instances but not in others????

great job juni you killed her

i like the hippie one hes cool

nevermind hes lame

i like the killer guy now. chaotic evil

i think they legit used daryl sabara for the poster

i feel like i had junis car as a taco bell toy but it was blue

why would you listen to him

actually it IS a turbo boost it just turbo boosts you out of the car

wOah

oh no he died

why is grandpa so cool

according to my physics teacher that shouldnt work

why is antman helping you

these bikes shouldnt be working either

why would you have to lose a life to continue the race??? the fall is clearly implemented so why does juni lose a life???

why is there a COUNTDOWN

was there a time limit on the race??? i didnt pay attention

who are the dudes in the background

i never got the “atari-sega-nendo” joke until this week. i was a loser child

even if you dont shut it down before people get online its still gonna take them a bit to get to level 5, you have buffer time

“my cool” THATS👏NOT👏A👏SKILL👏

juni theyre already gone

wait thats illegal

“lava mountain” you mean a volcano??????

hahah l0zerz

awwwwwwwww

they stole tetris

oh my God its lego star wars

wait there are TWO characters in yellow suits you cant DO THAT

oh no she died

THERES THE ICONIC LINE

“dont fall in love with a game juni” WHAT ABOUT MINECRAFT

holy crap i thought that was loss for a second

“my feet stink” THATS A REFERENCE TO THE LAST ONE!!!!!

carmen!!!!

great job juni

because lava is COOL

the floor looks like 25 pounds of meth disguised as ancient aztec calendars

i was so confused as a kid because i had actual tinker toys and these weren’t it

i alwasy wanted to be the guys in the cells

i thought they couldnt help juni anymore????? why can they manipulate the game NOW

oh no have all died

nevermind

why are you always conspiring against juni???

haha gameboy

so apparently thats elijah wood??? dont know who that is but he looks like a rat

wow. inspirational.

is the guy like??????? really tall or something?????

oops

aww :((

what kind of advanced AI is this???? developing feelings???

yes you can youre literally just code

awwwwww

you may not be smart but you have g r e a t fashion sense

its called virtual reality look it up

i love this part because hes working so hard but then his kids are calling so he just… goes

also why did they reapprove this program

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN THEYRE PRETTY IMPORTANT

you dont have to BREAK IT you could just LEAVE

SEE YOU A R E THEIR UNCLE

nice hair ingrid

machete!!!!

F L O O P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE👏THAT👏DUDE👏

and minion i guess

oh!!!!! floops wearing the good coat!!!!!!! he better run!!!!!

SOMEBODY RING THE DINKSTER??????

romero!

didnt you specifically say “im no loon” in the second one????

whats with the fist bump sound effect

hmm i wonder who

he go ZOOM

you can still????? go to a wedding????? in a wheelchair???? like i can assure you thats a thing

also its canon that at this point that ingrid is less than 30. carmen is 14. that means ingrid was 16 when she had carmen, and we know she was married beforehand

the toymaker isnt allowed to be family yet

YES!!!!!!! FLOOP IS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD THERE WERE NO SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS D:

OH!!!!!! INGRIDS FAMILY IS AVELLAN BECAUSE THE OTHER PRODUCERS LAST NAME IS AVELLAN!!!!!! nice

alexa vega went so hard for the song in this one i love it

wait now i have to review the fourth one oh NOOOOO

[nancydrew65]

SKAM NL Season 2 Episode 6 Thoughts

This week’s episode felt so much shorter than usual (perhaps that was because there were only four clips) and as a result, my reaction is pretty short. Well, let’s just dive right in.

Daydreamer

Aw, we get another morning scene with Noah and Liv, except this one is even better than the first because Noah’s brother does not make an appearance.

Liv is singing to Noah to wake him. This is all I needed in life. They are so cute together. Also, Liv’s voice is absolutely gorgeous and no one can change my mind. Her little smile at the end was everything!

Why, Noah, why??? I don’t understand why they have to include that awful line about Noah wanting Liv to have sex with him. She tells him she won’t until marriage, and then he proposes to her! Look, I get he was making a joke, but it still shows that he didn’t respect her decision. I find this line so callous, especially in this season as there will probably be a sexual assault storyline.

Where Were You?

Liv goes home to find Isa, crashed out on her couch. Isa and Ralph tease Liv about Noah, as they both know that’s where she was this morning. Isa and Ralph were quite the duo in this clip, weren’t they? Watch out, Esra!

Isa tells Liv that she has to tell Engel about her and Noah.

OMG, Lucas was on Grindr?? And talking to Ralph without knowing it? I like how SKAM NL is changing up Lucas’ role this season, adding hints that he is much more comfortable in his sexuality than Isak was.

But I agree with Liv that they should just leave Lucas alone.

Fun With the Girls 

SKAM NL is ICONIC giving us a scene of the girls bra shopping. I love this remake so much.

I really liked the conversation between Engel and Esra where Esra was explaining how she bought lingerie for herself. I really think Engel needs to hear that.

The shots of the socks was so cool. SKAM NL always gives aesthetically pleasing shots.

Aw, when Liv asked Engel’s opinion on the bra and Engel realized Liv was probably going to wear that with Noah. I think Engel has been very chill about the whole Noah and Liv thing. I think she is going to be one of the more understanding one of the Vilde’s.

Well, I guess everybody just wants saggy boobs! I love Janna and Isa.

Do Not

Have I mentioned how much I love SKAM NL’s soundtrack? Well, I guess I just did. The Dutch know how to throw parties! I love that bowling alley.

I loved the parallels between Noah and Liv throwing the balls (and throwing each other glances. Did you see what I did there?). Liv gets a strike and Noah’s ball ends up in the gutter.

Oooh, and then they go outside and make-out on a car. Yes, my darlings!

Did Noah really have to remind her about his awful line earlier about marriage and sex? Did he really?

Liv flips him off and he legit licks her finger! Only, Noah, guys. Noah is the only William who would do that.

Oh, shit! It’s the fight scene! I am honestly really surprised they did this scene. I thought because the cut the fight scene earlier this season, they would do the same here. I saw some comments about how the fight scene was so much more impactful in this remake because we generally know Noah as someone who wouldn’t get violent at all. I fully agree with that statement. For all the Williams, even OG when I didn’t know what was going to happen, I expected the fight scene, I expected that violence from them. It feels so alien coming from Noah which makes it all the more shocking.

As much as I hate this scene, I do think it was better than the one in OG. In OG, the Penetrator guys had lured the Yakuza guys out for a fight and William broke a bottle over a guy’s head. In this version, it seemed more like some guys jumped Noah’s friends. And no matter how you feel about violence, punching someone is a lot better than smashing a glass bottle over their head.

Liv looked so horrified and heart broken about the fight - and she didn’t run away like the other Noora’s did.

Another note: Liv trying to stop Noah from engaging in the fight was so realistic, like those little shoves she gave him came across very naturally. Also, props to Noah’s friend who pulled him off the other guy. That is a true friend and I hope to see more of him. I wish we knew his name.

General Thoughts

So, they combined episode 6 and 7 in this episode. I thought there were going to be 12 episodes this season like OG, so I wonder what they’re going to do for the rest of them. God, I love the girl squad so much! I want to see more of them. I really like how they are incorporating Esra into this season; it doesn’t feel forced at all. I really want Engel and Liv to talk. Scratch that, I need them to talk. I can’t wait to see their conversation. Well, everything goes downhill from here. See you for the next episode!

[pacifistmarkus]

My top 5 favorite DBH chapters!

I love listing so here I go with the chapters I enjoy the most!

1. The Painter

Gotta start out with my favoritism and say I love this chapter because of all the quality Markus content where he’s smiling and exploring the options in chess and books. There’s only about 2 different lines per piece but it’s really interesting to hear. Even before you get to take care of Carl there’s a couple of options where he can mess with the globe and piano beforehand and its so good for subtly showing how close he is to deviating. His relationship with Carl is something a lot of people enjoy since it’s for the most part  his only solid positive one and you can get insight to Markus based on what you choose for free time or paintings he can make. Markus  also lets you hear some of the beautiful soundtrack by playing it. Carl’s mansion is gorgeous and its touching to see Markus hesitantly but eagerly push the boundaries of his programming with Carl’s encouragement. And Leo’s entrance was short and concise to what the relationship between all three of them are. This sense of inferiority to Markus Leo has. Carl being stern because encouraging Leo’s obvious drug habit is not what he wants but there’s just this history that also needs to be addressed between Leo and Carl. Just a lot of quality Markus content so A++

2. Fugitives

I really love how large this chapter is. If you choose to sleep in the car you can see Kara smash the window (nice!) and prioritize safety over comfort. If you go to the hotel you get to see Kara’s resourcefulness. There is so much being affected, her relationship with Alice, her willingness to lie, steal, and use the gun, and how this affects the public. She has the opportunity to USE Alice and her reaction can be cold or accepting of the moral code that Alice has. Kara lies like a super spy to the motel worker, showing how slick she can be (which is something she does in the Midnight Train chapter too with the police). All her interactions with the cashier are fascinating and she’s so calm and cool about it. This choice between relying on herself or trusting the humanity in him is very fascinating and scary as you just start deciding where to place Kara’s trust. With Ralph you get some negotiator!Kara as she tries to calm him down and Ra9 stuff which is interesting to see from the perspective of Kara a deviant who actually has no obsession with Ra9! It would have been cool to see her kinda do her own investigation on Ra9 from a fugitive deviant’s perspective as she is able to meet many deviants. There’s just a lot of tiny cool details in terms of self reliance and negotiator!Kara or doing the “right” thing to be more human or even trusting in the humanity of Ralph or the cashier after Todd (and soon to be Zlatko) trying to isolate Kara from trusting in anyone else.

3. Spare Parts

I’m not kidding, I love how Markus discovers his powers. There’s this sense of wonder and curiosity he has towards deviancy that he has when freeing the androids in the box and learning that he can is just w o w (*plot convenience* argument hush) “Don’t you want to be free?” Like he’s so confused about why some androids aren’t deviants. Also there’s a nice blue filter color enveloping the box while Markus brings them out into the rain so that’s kind of a neat color thing showing how they’re leaving their machineness. Markus is better at going through windows than Connor lol. Some light parkour skills, choices in how you get the biocomponents, and whether you’re going to trust other androids and ends with a rousing speech with one of my favorite lines “Something inside me knows I am more than what they say”. The way he says this is so !!! especially the way he puts the emphasis on “KNOWS” (op just say you love markus’s voice). Also it’s also kinda interesting with how choosing to leave the androids in the box can be interpreted as Markus literally having no idea that he can spread deviancy at this point since there’s moments where no one is as bewildered with the loyalty the deviants have in Markus than Markus (before the protest he comments on how they just follow him without question and admits that leading them feels good...and scary) and he closes the box like “not deviants :( shame”. Asymmetrical v-neck for the win and lots of little moments.

4. Battle For Detroit (Connor vs. Neutral/Hostile Hank)

Gotta love that angst. This chapter is such an interesting result of being just machine enough to not have Hank’s trust but being deviant enough that Hank notices and gets a little bit of hope that maybe Connor is more than a machine. Only to find Connor trying to kill the deviant leader.  Hank at this point has shown himself to be more sympathetic to the android cause than his anti-android poster might suggest and meeting deviants has only increased this idea that they are alive. So its so frustrating for him that Connor seemingly isn’t. Which leads into the idea that maybe only SOME androids can become deviant and more than anything what gets me about disappointed Hank is when he says “You don’t feel emotions Connor. You fake them.” You the player know that Connor is Deviant, and Connor is in denial but come on obviously this fool!!! and Hank probably knows this too but is rejecting all of this to go against Connor and you get 3 heartbreaks for the price of one ;_: yay IDK all these angsty tragic outcomes where Hank is just tangling with his desire to help out deviants and having to place Connor, who is someone who he desperately wants to be a deviant, in the MACHINE corner.

5. Pirates Cove

A strange choice due to how limited your options are BUT I love that this is a quiet and beautiful moment for the android family. I love the story Kara can tell Alice and the small bonding moment we have with Luther (though there could be more *cough cough* this bad boy can fit a lot of dialogue expansion/dlc). Also continues this (not really explored smh) possibility to have Kara explore Ra9 as an android who personally is actually not obsessed with Ra9 as 99% of the other deviants are? We get to meet the Jerry’s who are absolute sweethearts and just a little breath after Kara gets tossed around from fighting Todd to trying to not get caught by Connor to escaping Zlatko to the amount of stress later. There’s this buildup of mistrust that Kara has in the world around her only to find a little nugget of quiet with no metaphorical storm to greet it. Just the lights of the carousel.

Honorable mentions: Hostage, Junkyard, Time to decide, The Nest, Crossroads

[thecomicsnexus]

DOOM PATROL #19-22 FEBRUARY-MAY 1989 BY GRANT MORRISON, RICHARD CASE, CARLOS GARZÓN AND SCOTT HANNA

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC WIKIA)

After the recent alien invasion that nearly destroyed their team, the surviving members of the Doom Patrol are struggling to deal with the deaths of their friends and their own misgivings about ever returning to superheroics.

Robotman has since checked himself into a psychiatric ward, plagued by nightmares of the accident that saddled him with his robotic body. He has become depressed and bitter with the knowledge that he will never be human again.

Niles Caulder and Joshua Clay, meanwhile, have been placing calls to check in on the others. They learn that Larry Trainor is in stable condition at Alamance General Hospital after crashing his helicopter, while Rhea Jones was left comatose in the wake of the Gene Bomb. While Joshua intended only to learn whether his friends are okay, the Chief hoped that he might be able to reform the Doom Patrol soon. Though the Chief extends him an invitation, Joshua politely refuses to join. Even so, Clay is to play an important part in Caulder's future plans.

Doctor Will Magnus visits Cliff in the hopes of bringing him some cheer, but Robotman is too depressed. As his human brain is housed within an entirely robotic body, he has all of the same impulses, but he can't feel anything. He has all of the memories of what physical sensations used to feel like, but they haunt him, and he is constantly aware of the phantom body which isn't there. He breaks down, and demonstrates his emptiness by slamming his metal head into a wall over and over, and the lack of physical feeling fills him with emotional pain. Magnus suggests that the Doom Patrol might have helped him deal with these feelings, but Cliff doesn't want to go back to the team that got Rita, Arani and Scott killed.

Larry is visited by Doctor Eleanor Poole, who assures him that he will be healed and ready to leave within days. After she leaves the room, though, a dark shadow appears in his window and calls to him. The Negative Spirit speaks to him for the first time, and it intends to make some changes for Larry. It causes Larry to call for Dr. Poole, who, upon entering the room, becomes entangled in an alchemical marriage which fuses the three entities into a single being. In order to give Cliff some perspective, Magnus introduces him to someone who has far worse problems than he does. Another patient who refers to herself as Crazy Jane suffers from dissociative disorder as a result of abuse she received as a child. She has since developed dozens of alternate personalities. However, in combination with the detonation of the gene bomb, each of her personalities has its own superpower. After speaking with her, Cliff realizes that she is in greater need of help than he is, and decides to make himself responsible for her.

Elsewhere, something sinister underlies the events of a car crash. A policeman witnessed the driver, consumed in flames, walk away from the explosion to warn the Scissormen. Before dying, he left behind a strange black book. Even the government operatives sent to investigate are perturbed by these events. Even so, all they can do is call their superiors, who will contact the pentagon, who will contact the President - and then he'll contact Niles Caulder.

Father McGarry has stopped believing in miracles, but still, every Saturday, he walks through the debris left behind by the Gene Bomb in search of some sign of God. Today, he spots a sign meant to say "Have Faith in God", but the G is obscured such that it reads "Have Faith in Cod". At that moment, it begins raining fish - a wide variety of fish, too - but no cod. Saddened by the irony, Father McGarry is suddenly crushed by a giant refrigerator, fallen from the sky.

Elsewhere, Niles Caulder and Joshua Clay visit the Alamance Memorial Hospital after hearing that Larry Trainor turned into some kind of creature overnight. The doctors believe that what they discovered is some kind of amalgamation of both Larry and his doctor Eleanor Poole. It also emits some kind of radiation which required them to wrap it in bandages. The Chief asks Larry if he remembers him, but the voice that comes from the bandages is not Larry's. It announces that it is a mix in both race and sex, a series of contradictory mergers. Rather than answer to Larry or Eleanor, the wrapped figure with both male and female characteristics suggests that they call it Rebis.

Somewhere in the village of Greenock, Scotland, a young boy named Stuart is displeased with the idea of going to church on Sunday. As he thinks on this, trying to savour his Saturday, he hears a sound from his wardrobe. When he opens it, he is filled with horror. His father comes some time later to ask him what he wants for dinner, and is surprised to find that his son has been rendered a boy-shaped void.

After their visit, the Chief explains that the name Rebis was a term used by the medieval alchemists to identify the result of a chymical wedding. Leaving his companions for a moment, Caulder returns to Rebis' room and asks whether it might like to join his Doom Patrol.

Meanwhile, Cliff Steele is still voluntarily committed to a mental institution in order to deal with the trauma of losing his body. He receives a visit from Will Magnus, who remarks that he seems to be making progress. In addition, his attention to the young lady known as Crazy Jane has apparently seen her improving as well. Cliff's help in helping her organize herself and cataloging her new super-powers has been invaluable. Before taking his leave, Magnus intimates that he took Cliff's complaints about his robot body to heart, and decided to make him a new body using the advances in cybernetic technology that have become available.

Afterwards, Cliff receives a visit from Crazy Jane, who introduces herself as Driver 8, the driver of Jane's train of thought and monitor of the stations of the underground. The underground is how Jane refers to the place where all of her personalities reside. Driver 8 delivers a message from other personalities that they like Cliff. As they walk, a crash overhead alerts them to Ralph, a fellow patient, throwing himself from an upper window to the ground below. In his injured delirium, Ralph repeats the name "Scissormen" over and over.

While taking the subway through Manhattan, a man who has just taken something that was not his to take finds his familiar route changed suddenly when the train stops at Orqwith station. Out the train's windows, he can see that everything, even the platform, is made of bones. He prays that the doors don't open, but they do anyway. Onto the train step the Scissormen with their blood-red scissors.

Late at night, while up writing, Cliff is distracted by the sound of Jane chanting the phrase "Blood of the Lamb" over and over. He finds her covered in blood, and when he tries to calm her, she warns that the Scissormen are coming. In fact, they have already arrived. Four men armed with giant scissors for hands begin advancing on them, and Cliff desperately drags Jane away from them. The room they rush into is occupied by a doctor who is floating in mid-air. He claims that he is existing in two places at once, and he can feel the Scissormen cutting off his thumbs. Before long, the Scissormen smash through the wall, and it is only by the grace of Jane's sudden ability to teleport them away that they are saved.

Out in the courtyard, though, the pair are beset by a crowd of white, people-shaped spaces, apparently cut straight out of reality.

Around the world, a number of strange occurrences are all connected to the arrival of the Scissormen.

In their attempt to escape from the Scissormen, Cliff Steele and Crazy Jane run to Kansas City, where the old Doom Patrol Headquarters was hidden in Union Station. Unfortunately, Cliff failed to realize that the end of the Doom Patrol would mean the end of the headquarters - but at least a note was left behind to say that the HQ had been moved to Rhode Island. However, as they discover the note, the Scissormen catch up to them, and the pair of them are forced to run for it.

Cliff leads Jane to one of the Doom Patrol's planes, which is still in working condition, hoping they can fly to safety in it. He notices, however, that one of her personalities has actually transformed her, physically, and the accompanying power makes her a horrifying site. With long, sharp fingernails, she tears at a Scissorman until nothing remains of him but shreds. Fortunately, Black Annis leaves Jane's mind in time for Cliff to drag her aboard the plane and fly away, leaving the remaining Scissormen behind.

The plane takes them directly to the Rhode Island headquarters, which the Chief explains was the former home of the original Justice League. He is aware of the Scissormen, having received the black book from the intelligence services recently. In fact, Jane has already finished deciphering the book with the help of her personalities. Apparently, the book is a metafiction that tells the story of the creation of the book by a group of philosophers who were seeking to radically alter human thought.

The book would be filled with parasitic ideas that would enter human consciousness and transform it. This, the Chief explains, is a form of memetic memory. These philosophers decided to create a world-city called Orqwith that would exist on a plane of reality that intersects with this one, and the history and geography of that world-city is recorded in the black book. In the end, though, the philosophers were devoured by their own creations. The Scissormen are apparently a kind of religious sect that worships a god who exists at the intersection of realities, and they are Orqwith's own version of the Inquisition.

To further their investigation, the Chief has actually managed to capture one of these Scissormen already, thanks to Rebis' radiation. This is all rather bothersome to Cliff, who can't be sure whether any of the things he has just heard or seen are actually real. The Chief points out that there is no clear distinction between reality and unreality - both appear to be present. Either way, he hopes to find out just how extensive the intrusion of Orqwith has been on their own reality, and then to track down the philosophers who wrote the book.

Cliff and Joshua Clay are saddled with watching the Scissorman, and end up talking about how weird things have become for them. Joshua hadn't even intended to be there still, but he has since found that he wouldn't have anywhere to go if he did leave. In an attempt to console him, Cliff responds that at least Joshua is real - unlike the Scissorman, who has apparently managed to disappear in the brief moment their backs were turned.

Looking up, they see that there are several more Scissormen advancing on them, and Joshua is forced to use his powers against them. They marvel at the fact that when they hit the Scissormen, they simply fade away. With that in mind, they manage to deal with the threat - until one Scissorman appears behind Josh and cuts him out of reality. The rest of the team rushes in too late, and though Cliff is concerned for Josh's life, Rebis claims that he and all of those the Scissormen took are out there somewhere, waiting for them.

Rashly, Cliff runs out to meet them, and with Jane and Rebis behind him, they all disappear from reality, and enter Orqwith.

Orqwith is a world of a city. At its centre stands Quadrivium, and in that, the Ossuary; the great Cathedral of Orqwith. The cathedral is occupied by two priests. One is a liar and the other is honest, but both are waiting to answer the question that will unmake the world.

Now that Cliff Steele is there in Orqwith, he can think of absolutely nothing funny to say. All around them, they can see the structures made of bone, and the populace - the hollow children - who were once denizens of the real world, and now reside in Orqwith. With horror, Cliff spots Josh Clay, and tries to talk to him, but a Scissorman comes running. The Negative Spirit within Rebis destroys the attacker, but Cliff's companions urge him to leave Josh be for now, with Crazy Jane teleporting them away.

Elsewhere, The Chief tracks down a man named Reinmann, who is somehow connected to the Black Book of Orqwith. Reinmann reaches for a pistol, claiming that he doesn't fear a cripple. In response, Caulder fires a bullet into Reinmann's thigh, explaining that now they are both cripples, and should talk.

The Negative Spirit flies over a pair of Scissormen, who somehow manage to blast it into pieces. With desperation, Rebis runs over to absorb the many pieces. The negative spirit managed to gather some crucial information from the scissormen before it was destroyed, and Jane's personality Mama Pentecost helps translate the words for them. Though the words come out as nonsense, she claims that they have learned how to get the better of their enemies.

Reinmann explains that the book was meant to be an intellectual joke, but it soon began to infringe on reality. When the Scissormen came for one of them, they tried to destroy the book to no avail. However, they did write a logical inconsistency in the fiction. They incorporated the philosophical question of why there is something rather than nothing. Orqwith can be destroyed if it is made to confront its own unreality.

Jane has just determined that exact fact. Orqwith is not supposed to be real. All they have to do is ask the two priests of the Ossuary why there is something rather than nothing, and Orqwith will be gone. Unfortunately, the Ossuary is guarded by nearly one hundred Scissormen.

Rebis claims that the Negative Spirit can get them into the Ossuary, though only five minutes of energy remain for its powers. Cliff and Jane rush Rebis into action as the Scissormen notice them there. As Rebis flies over the cathedral and smashes through the stained-glass ceiling, Cliff and Jane are tasked with preventing the numerous Scissormen from getting inside.

Confronting the two priests, Rebis asks them why there is something rather than nothing. The priest dressed in black responds that he is a liar, and does not know why there is something rather than nothing. The priest in white responds that he is an honest man, and that he doesn't know either. Thinking it out in its head, Rebis realizes that the priest in black must be the liar - and must therefore know the answer. Rebis poses the question again to the black priest, who responds that there is something rather than nothing - another lie. As such, Rebis reminds, Orqwith cannot possibly exist. A flash of light leaves Cliff, Jane, Rebis, and Josh sitting in the dirt outside the Secret Sanctuary.

The Chief reports that the anomalous activity caused by Orqwith's intrusion appeares to have ceased, but all the same, these events have convinced him more than ever that the world needs a Doom Patrol. With only a little reluctance, the four heroes agree to join Caulder in his team.

Elsehwere, a mysterious figure looks in on Rhea Jones in her hospital bed, while she lays comatose.

In Paraguay, a Doctor Bruckner warns of the escape of someone called Herr Niemand.

REVIEW

This is it, the critically acclaimed Morrison run on Doom Patrol. This title was unreadable, I am no joking here. So it is really refreshing to see what Morrison did (to be fair, he managed to put everything into place before he started, thanks to Kupperberg).

So, is it up to the hype? Well, yes. This is different, and comic-books should always welcome different (and good). It is also a book trying not to be the other books. Which I find very “alternative”, a product of its time. (It was the nineties version of the hipster movement, if there is such a thing).

While the characters are still trying not to be together when the story starts, at least they find reasons to group again. Now adding Crazy Jane and Rebis (can we say this is a transgender character?). It still relies on what happened before and it isn’t easy to keep track of all the characters we don’t see.

Richard Case is amazing. It is hard to have a range in terms of super-hero art. This is pretty much a horror story, and it really feels like it. Mostly thanks to Richard Case.

I give the arc a score of 9

[aion-rsa]

Matthew Vaughn on Finding The Man Who Would Be King’s Man

https://ift.tt/3phKkLi

Matthew Vaughn loves watching The Man Who Would Be King (1975). It’s easy to see why. The John Huston adaptation of a Rudyard Kipling yarn is one of the best adventure films ever made, not least of all because Huston and his co-screenwriter Gladys Hill were able to quietly insert some anti-imperialist critiques into the story of Danny and Peachy (Sean Connery and Michael Caine), two former British sergeants in 19th century India who turn soldiers of fortune and, eventually, men who might call themselves living gods. It doesn’t end well for either, and yet there is something so adroit about the performances that they never cease to charm.

They more than charmed Vaughn during a recent rewatch, however. They inspired him to approach his whole Kingsman universe, which he has developed across three films at his production company, Marv Studios, from an entirely different angle: one where the proverbial stiff upper lip was never raised higher, the sun had yet to set on the British Empire, and blokes like Danny and Peachy could get in over their heads and still be proper gentlemen about it as the ground (or rope bridge) vanished beneath their feet.

“I forgot just how amazing it was,” Vaughn tells Den of Geek on the eve of The King’s Man’s theatrical release. “I was laughing that there was a Kingsman already in it… and it had everything a movie should have. It was epic, adventurous, [it had] emotion, a great story, and some important statements, politically and morally.”

When it was over, Vaughn turned and said, “Why don’t I make The Man Who Would Be Kingsman?”

So began the first step to this holiday season’s The King’s Man, a cheeky and overtly stylish action movie that is, yes, a prequel to the 2015 surprise smash, Kingsman: The Secret Service, but also a proper spy adventure set during the First World War. In the new film, lead characters Orlando Oxford (Ralph Fiennes) and his son Conrad (Harris Dickinson) interact with real historic figures like the literal King of England (Tom Hollander), as well as Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the Austrian noble whose bizarre assassination in Serbia shockingly triggered the Great War.

When we chat with Vaughn, he reveals that he never intended to do a Kingsman prequel back in 2015. Similarly, the WWI angle was more or less decided for him by the dropped line in the first picture about the Kingsman organization being founded after the war—“I couldn’t say, ‘Know what? I’m going to change the folklore,’” Vaughn laughs. But by digging into the history around World War I, he was struck by just how startling the details still are.

For instance, the scene where (spoiler) Archduke Ferdinand is slaughtered in the streets of Sarajevo really did involve a royal swatting away the first grenade intended for their car, causing it to blow up beneath another vehicle in the procession. In The King’s Man, it just gets to be Conrad who prevents the initial attempt on Ferdinand’s life.

That’s small potatoes though when compared to how a character like Grigori Rasputin is realized on-screen. In history, Rasputin was a self-proclaimed holy man in Imperial Russia who managed to capture the ear of Tsar Nicholas II. But on-screen he’s played by Rhys Ifans as a gregarious demon who will attempt to seduce anything on two legs, and when that doesn’t work settles for instigating one of the best fight scenes in years.

“I could never come up with a person like Rasputin,” Vaughn marvels. “What an amazing, amazing character.”

That might be, but he can come up with dynamic action for such a person. As with the best set-pieces in Vaughn’s action movie oeuvre—from Chloe Grace Moretz’s Hit-Girl rescuing Nicolas Cage in Kick-Ass to Colin Firth obliterating an entire church filled with possessed bigots in a single take during Kingsman—the scene where Fiennes locks swords with Rasputin’s high kicks is a case study in precise, giddy choreography and stunt work. For Vaughn’s part, he doesn���t think he asks his actors or stuntmen to perform feats that different from other filmmakers; he just knows how to frame them.

“Every shot is telling a story,” says Vaughn, “and I find with some other action movies, once you go into action mode, it’s just action, and you could cut it into another action film and it would all still be just action. They forget to tell the story and the stakes.”

Yet to Vaughn, the stakes of a Christmas Eve duel in the Kremlin were clear: he needed his longtime stunt coordinator and second unit director, Brad Allan–a collaborator who understood how to lean into the specificity of a sequence.

“We started doing some research into ballet and the cossack dancing,” Vaughn explains, “and then I found out cossack dancing used to be fighting and then they got told they couldn’t fight in that style anymore, this Russian kung-fu, and it then became a dance. So I was thinking if some guy could be bouncing off their ass with one foot off the ground while kicking you, you could be in trouble. So let’s take the dance, let’s take the action, and let’s bring it all together.”

Vaughn couldn’t have had a better collaborator in executing such visually kinetic mayhem than Allan, a man whom Vaughn says was “my true partner in crime.” Which makes The King’s Man all the more poignant since it marks Allan’s last officially credited role as second unit director and supervising stunt coordinator.

Allan, who was only 48, passed away in August after a a dazzling career that began by working as Jackie Chan’s protege and one of his many on-screen sparring partners in films like Mr. Nice Guy (1997) and Gorgeous (1999), before he left Team Jackie to begin his own career as a stunt choreographer and coordinator. At the time of his passing, he had reached international acclaim for superhero movies like Wonder Woman (2017) and Shang-Chi (2021), as well as his partnership with Edgar Wright on movies like Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) and The World’s End (2012).

But it’s arguable one of his first major successes as a stunt coordinator came when he masterminded those aforementioned Hit-Girl fight scenes in Kick-Ass with Vaughn.

“On Kick-Ass, it was quite interesting,” Vaughn recalls. “He’d been involved in so many movies where he just wasn’t respected at what he did and his stuff would be re-edited and ruined when he saw the film. So he had a lot of mistrust of me, and then he learned I truly loved action and that I worship Jackie Chan, and he was taught by Jackie, so there was a lot of common ground between us.”

Vaughn continues, “Then he came aboard with Kingsman, he’d gone off after Kick-Ass and worked on a few other Hollywood movies and had terrible experiences, but when he came back to do Kingsman, we sort of earned each other’s respect and trust.”

This carried them from the first Kingsman showstopper where Colin Firth intones, “Manners maketh man” in a London pub to the new movie where Allan and Vaughn turned a historic figure Rasputin into a regular Baryshnikov.

Says Vaughn, “[Allan] would take my crazy ideas and together we’d mold it to story, to choreography, to invention…. I’m making a movie at the moment without him where we did stunt business together, and he really has left a huge hole, and really just gone before his time. And yeah I miss him, just plain and simple. I totally miss him.”

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The King’s Man thus stands as an unofficial tribute to that collaboration, from the Rasputin scene to others where Fiennes, an Oscar nominated and BAFTA winning actor, gets to climb up cliffside like he’s David Niven—The Guns of Navarone (1961) is another touchstone for Vaughn—and then cross swords with the Empire’s greatest unseen foes.

Vaughn claims that Fiennes’ current role as M in the James Bond movies was never a deciding factor in casting him in The King’s Man. Rather, the director suggests, who else could be more dapper and charismatic as the droll original Kingsman? With that said, he’s thrilled audiences may see the M and Voldemort actor in a new light–and even something closer to Errol Flynn, an idol for Fiennes whom he and Vaughn both studied while prepping this movie.

“Those guys were really not appreciated for what they were doing on-camera,” Vaughn says of the stunt work in films like The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) and Captain Blood (1935). “So I said, ‘Ralph, we’ve got to get as good as that and then we can put the cameras in different places. We’ve got technology that they didn’t have.’ But he learned it. Ralph went out [with] all that sword fighting, and he was good. He did a lot of sword fighting in school for stage and for Shakespeare, and he loved it. He really loved doing the action.”

When audiences are finally able to see it on the big screen, it’ll be at a moment where attentions are clearly divided. Indeed, last weekend’s Spider-Man: No Way Home was such a massive success at the box office that there were reports of theaters cutting screenings for the weekend’s other ostensible major releases. And when we spoke with Vaughn, he was aware of how the theatrical moviegoing industry is increasingly only favoring one massive spectacle at the expense of all others.

Yet he’s hopeful that The King’s Man can find its audience, because here is an action spectacle that, despite its inherently cheeky sensibility and century-old setting, feels surprisingly vital to our current moment.

Says Vaughn, “There’s a lot we can learn from this history. Choose your leaders wisely, little things can become very big things very quickly, the world can change. Look at what happened [then], and what we’re experiencing now. Look at Ukraine and Taiwan, and Spanish Flu and COVID.” He later adds, “We’re going through a very strange period of history where we’re all part of a new history being written.”

It’s perhaps nice then to be reminded of another century’s inflection points through the cheerful lens of the Kingsman and their like, be they Orlando and Conrad, or Danny and Peachy.

The King’s Man opens Wednesday, Dec. 22 in the U.S. and Sunday, Dec. 26 in the UK.

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[mrjoelgarcia9]

Let’s Talk #Shrek

The internet has ruined Shrek.

Also Smash Mouth.

For my thoughts on Shrek, as well as "All Star”, feel free to keep reading. There will be spoilers.

The Shrek franchise is based on the 1990 book Shrek! by William Steig, although only the first film adapted parts of the book. The first film came out in 2001, and it went on to win the first Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. For those wondering, it beat out Disney/Pixar’s Monsters, Inc. and Nickelodeon’s Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.

Shrek is a timeless masterpiece with a great original story full of satire, great protagonists, and a hilarious villain.

Shrek 2 is a great sequel that not only continues the story but also expands upon the universe with more great satire, an excellent plot, and a hilarious climax involving the song “Holding Out for a Hero”.

Shrek The Third is one of the worst animated films ever made.

It starred a horribly miscast Justin Timberlake as Arthur, had too many new characters that added nothing to the story, a dull climax, and tried but failed to make the comedic Prince Charming into a serious villain. It also clearly showed that DreamWorks needed to transition away from making the animated equivalents of the Scary Movie franchise.

Shrek Forever After was a decent conclusion to the franchise by fully wrapping up Shrek’s journey from loner to family man. While the villain was somewhat forgettable, the premise was really good and it was interesting to see the alternate universe versions of the characters.

Aside from the films, there have been several spinoffs: a couple of holiday TV specials, multiple shorts, a theme park ride, and a Broadway musical. In addition, the Puss In Boots character was spun-off into his own film, shorts, and a TV show on Netflix that ran for 78 episodes from 2015 to 2018.

While there have been no new Shrek-centered productions since 2011, a lot of people on the internet have inexplicably become obsessed with the character. This has included a CG model in the popular game Garry’s Mod being used to bizarre extents, disturbing fan fiction, and weird requests to include Shrek in Super Smash Bros.

There is nothing wrong with the meme. It is just that certain fans take the character to very disturbing extremes. If someone were to first find out about Shrek from either the Garry’s Mod videos or crossover fan fiction, they might think the films are about a creepy insane ogre.

The meme, to a lesser extent, also includes the first film’s opening song “All Star” by Smash Mouth. In that film, the song's upbeat attitude perfectly contrasted with the opening featuring Shrek doing mundane, yet slightly disgusting, things while a mob prepares to hunt him down.

What I find hilarious about “All Star” being heavily attached to Shrek is that the song was not originally made for that film. It was originally released in 1999, two years before the film came out, and attached to the obscure superhero comedy film Mystery Men.

The song’s music video begins with a brief clip from that film and the band later integrates themselves into a scene where the heroes attack a car. In 2000, the year prior to Shrek, it was shoehorned into the ending of Digimon: The Movie.

The song Smash Mouth actually recorded for the first film, a cover of The Monkees’ “I’m a Believer”, is ironically almost ignored by the internet despite that music video actually featuring Shrek.

A few years ago, when DreamWorks Animation was acquired by NBCUniversal, their new owners were hopeful for a fifth film.

Should there be a Shrek 5? No.

Economically, it is understandable why NBCUniversal wants a fifth film. Shrek is one of DreamWorks Animation’s most successful franchises. Their only other franchises that can rival Shrek are Kung Fu Panda and How to Train Your Dragon, both of which have each produced three films, one holiday special, and long-running TV shows.

The only way Shrek 5 could work is if it presented a story reminiscent of Kung Fu Panda 3 or How to Train Your Dragon 2. Both films presented stories of their respective protagonists meeting a long-lost parent and finding out something they never knew about their past.

Shrek 5 could present a similar story by introducing either his parents, a sibling, or a long-lost relative and introduce a previously unknown ogre community reminiscent of Shrek Forever After.

Frankly, there is no need for a fifth film. Shrek’s journey ended on the right note. Trying to create a new conflict between Shrek and his friends would seem like a repetition of the fourth film. Said film, and Puss in Boots, also featured any remaining notable fairy tale characters not shown in the first three films.

A fifth film would have to either introduce far more obscure fairy tale characters or go back to dissing Disney with new satirical takes on Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and The Princess and the Frog.

Then again, it seems like Disney is about to beat them at their own game with the upcoming film Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2.

In the meantime, DreamWorks Animation is currently working on sequels to How to Train Your Dragon, Trolls, The Croods, and The Boss Baby. Depending on the box office success of those sequels, Shrek 5 might just be their next film.

The complete Shrek film series is available on Blu-ray, Digital HD, and DVD.

Until next time, thank you for reading!