#also. i think im gonna read homestuck again when i get home

[snickersnackety]

got a little inspired by @deeum's art style :,)

[sodasober]

ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I POSTED, GAMERS. SORRY FOR YELLING IM VERY EXCITED ABOUT SHARING THIS. So, my homestuck hyperfixation has definitely died down, but it will always hold a place in my heart even if i try very hard to kick it out.

my new hyperfixation is Stray (2022). anyone heard of that? everyone who wasnt born yesterday mustve heard of it at least once.

well, im thinking of merging those two today. Thats right, YOUR CAT GAME, TURNED HOMESTUCK. enough of the rambles though. lets get into it.

So people may ask, soda what the fuck, how will you do that. well. buddy. im not gonna make robot versions of the trolls, it would be fun but... no. neither will i go the other way around, though that would also be fun. I only assigned the outsiders some classpects. i've never done that before except for simple friendly inside jokes, but here i go.

First off, i gave them extended zodiac signs, because it definetely helps with classpecting in my opinion and also its fun to analyze. for Clementine, i got Arist.

Sign of the headstrong. Rust, prospit, time-bound.

anyways, the way i classpect is usually reading about the different aspects, and then make class the second thing i decide.

I used the elimination method for the classes; do they steal (aspect)? do they destroy it?

I also go with the secondary things, for example princes lacking their aspect.

Adding onto that, Clementine, arguably, lacks of time, because she is on the run from Sentinels.

I also don't care about genders assigned to classes, mostly because I'm not a huge fan of it, but also because They're robots.

Conclusion; Clementine is the prince of time.

Okay? okay. thats one obligatory aspect out of the way. next we have Momo.

For Momo, figuring out the sign was a bit hard, but thats not very important. He'd be a Piga.

Sign of the designer. Fuchsia, derse, space-bound.

This one was a bit difficult, and i ended up giving him a not so well known class, which means most of this is from speculation.

Heir.

I went off the definition 'one who receives (aspect)' and you might know where I'm going with this.

Clem and Zbalt leave to midtown and ant village respectively. Doc goes out to test the defluxor. Momo is given lots and lots of space, despite never asking for any.

Need i say more?

Conclusion; Momo is the heir of space.

Next is a character, that I don't really know that much about. So this one is a bit tricky and not as good and thought out.

Zbaltazar. He'd be a Sagira.

Sign of the tenable. Indigo, prospit, mind-bound.

I was absolutely obsessed with making zbalt mind-bound, you dont even know.

I don't really have much to say. He'd be a page, i think. Creator of mind. Because his whole thing in the game is meditating, it seems. feel free to prove me wrong?

Conclusion; Zbaltazar is the page of mind.

AGAIN I DO NOT KNOW THIS CHARACTER WELL, SO DONT EXPECT IT TO BE SUPER ACCURATE

anyways, on to Doc. the one i had the most fun classpecting :-)

He'd be a Virpia. Jade mostly because of the caretaking tendencies, don't judge me for that okay...

Sign of the perfectionist. Jade, derse, light-bound.

I'm proud of myself for this one. Light fits Doc both in the aspect sense, because of knowledge, and because he made the Defluxor.

On that note, he'd definitely be a knight. Serves through light. He used his knowledge to make a weapon against the zurks, which was super important for him to come back home and also for the kitty to safely make it through the sewers.

It also occurred to me that, if we take the speculations as a fact, and knights serve what there is little of in their session, it fits as well. The walled city is full of neons, but no natural light. as for knowledge, im not sure if it also fits that rule, but it could. Also when i say session generally its BEFORE the session there wouldn't be a lotta light, (meteors would kinda destroy the fucking walls and shit) but either way.

conclusion; Doc is the knight of light

so lets repeat all of that

clementine, prince of time momo, heir of space zbaltazar, page of mind doc, knight of light

feel free to add your own opinions if youre in both fandoms.

this was a fun one time thing, haha. hope you enjoyed reading it at the very least :)

[thewebcomicsreview]

Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out! 

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too. 

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still. 

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope? 

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this. 

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot. 

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic. 

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy” in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan. 

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[dankblogstho]

Week 2 day 5 of isolation, March 27th, 2020

Today I got an alert on my phone—sirens and everything—informing me that Guilford county will be put into a stay at home order declaration at 5pm today. We are still allowed to go out to walk the dog and to get groceries, as well as deliver food and work at essential businesses. I’m still relieved I got to get animal crossing before the town shut down, though maybe I shouldn’t be.

They passed a resolution yesterday to give money to americans to try to stimulate the economy. I imagine most of it would be spent online… Trump wants to open the country again for easter, which is preposterous if you listen to medical professionals.

My brother started jammin’ to the internationale recently. He played it for me yesterday. Initially I thought it was pretty un-catchy but I found myself singing it later on. I worked things out with my girlfriend pretty well, but unfortunately I tore open a new wound. She was playing a video game called Call of Duty: Zombies and telling me about the sexual innuendos that a certain character makes. I sent her a meme that said “Oh, you’ve had sex? Yeah, well I’ve had enough”. She felt pretty bad about that though, and I realized I had made her feel bad for enjoying something just because I didn’t enjoy that thing. I’m still really sorry about it and I’m gonna try to avoid ever doing that again. I hope she doesn’t take it seriously and change her behavior. We voice “cuddled” (chatted) last night until she fell asleep. She’s been reading homestuck, too. Right now she is on act 5! She’s spending less time with me tho consequentially.

I introduced her to my “moirail” (it’s a homestuck thing) today. They seem to have hit it off. My gf said that she loved my friend due to transitive property, haha. I haven’t played animal crossing yet today, but I played it a lot after I wrote to you last. My mom also checked her mail, finally! I’m playing the sims 3, resuming a little experiment I have going on about alien genetics in the sims 3 seasons.

I should’ve either brought my stuff down or brought my laptop upstairs because I can’t get much work done this way. Still it’s a bit better today? Honestly I’m not sure. My girlfriend is feeling really touch-starved it seems. She hasn’t told me that directly but… She wears her heart on her sleeve. I guess I’m kind of worried she’ll leave me because I know she left her Ex Long-Distance-Relationship (LDR) because she told me she couldn’t handle not having physical contact. She told me she wasn’t gonna do another ldr because she didn’t think she was capable of it. When we started dating, we had a conversation about if it would be a good idea. I discussed with her my aromanticism, her previous statement on ldrs, my inclination of possessiveness and her previous polyamory. We determined we would give it a shot. So far it’s worked, but I can’t always keep my anxieties at bay.

Apparently the first week of this home-school thing is a “Grace period”, though my science teacher is still grading assignments. I need to work harder on this. I wonder if I will have to re-take this grade? I really hope not. I need some motivating force to keep me from seeking dopamine and actually get cracking. I guess I’m sort of looking at it like im fighting the reward center in my brain. Probably the best place to start is early in the morning. I will move my laptop upstairs tonight and get my work out on my desk for the next morning. I will work as long as I can and when I cannot take anymore I will have to walk my dog before I can do anything else. I’ll also have to avoid my brother, because he tries to engage in dialogue when im working, consistently. I’ll let my girlfriend know of my plan so I can turn off my phone without fear. I suppose the pets need to be fed and so do I, though. So… Shower tonight, feed the pets when I wake up, grab a snack and then head back upstairs. I think that’s all I have for now! I’ll have to update you on how it goes tomorrow.

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 5

[autisticmob]

tagged by uhh nobody but allie @pundeserving kinda left it open and im swoocing in because its fun. you cant fuckng stop me.

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in any order), answer the questions and tag 10 people you want to get to know better

I choose…

1. homed Stuck

2. mob psycho

3. fma

The first character you loved!

1. ARADIA like ok first panel she was in i saw her and i was like “telekinesis? kinda spooky?? oh shit my TYPE” and that was it. it helps that she turned out to be objectively the best homestuck character as well.

2. MOB HES SUCH A GOOD BOY!! like, he’s the first character you’re exposed to and he’s so good, I don’t think you can avoid loving him first.

3. i mean. it’s gotta be alphonse. like... what a sweet boy? all the bad shit happened to him and he deserved NONE of it, my poor fucking SON.

The character you never expected to love so much!

1. ok in all honesty, sollux. sollux is tied with aradia for my all time favorite homestuck character, but the only reason i ever paid any attention to him was because i happened to have some weird 3D sunglasses, and that meant he was the first character I was able to cosplay easily. but obviously if you pay enough attention to him you realize hes a fantastic boy. like hes a fatalistic douche and a massive weenie but he cares about his friends so much?? like to the point of repeated, kinda horrifying self-sacrifice? and he was 13!!! its so fucked up but he just is love his friends THAT MUCH and now I’m sobbing.

2. shou. it’s 100% because i watched the anime first, and he’s barely in it at all, so it’s hard to get a read on him from that. but obviously after reading the manga im like oh hes just a young chaos gay. a sweet baby boy who doesnt know shit except how to exploit psychic powers for fun and profit (and also revolution against his shitty dad.)

3. ed tbh? hes such a shit boy. like tbh i found him kind of annoying and unlikable at first? but he’s the protag, so you KNOW he’s gotta get that good good character development throughout the series, and he does! hes a lot more complex than he seems at first and even if he’s largely STUPID about his interpersonal relationships, that’s just because he’s, y’know, a literal child, and doesn’t mean he doesn’t care a whole fucking lot about his family/friends.

The character you relate to most!

1. dave. there is an ever-expanding running tally of outside sources which have pointed him out as my government-assigned homestuck kin and at this point it would be foolish to argue. rose is a CLOSE second.

2. mob. i have a whole post about why he’s so relatable to me but tl;dr he’s got mad issues with expressing emotions outwardly, but that doesnt mean he doesnt love his friends more than fucking ANYTHING and thats a mood

3. winry. special interest hell, no time for bullshit.

The character you’d slap!

1. andrew hussie the man himself... (among a number of other characters. it would take a lot to list all of them but just know orangeman is at the top of that list)

2. touchy hoe is the obvious answer, I think.

3. envy. the nonbinary representation i deserve and you’re coming in here with that hair?? that fucking crop top monstrosity?? get the fuck out.

Three favourite characters (in order of preference)!

1. aradia, sollux, dave

2. mob, shou, serizawa

3. alphonse, riza hawkeye, olivier armstrong. im gay, what do u want from me.

A character you liked at first but don’t anymore!

1. i had a phase toward the beginning of my time in the fandom where i really really liked eridan. i don’t like... DISLIKE him now or anything, but i just... don’t really care about him all that much anymore?

2. this is hard because my love for most mp100 characters has only grown over time. i guess mezato? again i dont DISLIKE her, i kinda thought she’d have more to her character than just manipulating mob for her own interests, but then she just... didn’t, really? which was disappointing, i thought there was more potential there.

3. most of the homunculi? tbh? they all seemed really interesting and honestly opening with greed’s arc the way they did I thought they’d all get more development than they did. like... envy got some, sort of, and pride/wrath kinda did too, but like. not enough to be satisfying. and then lust gluttony and sloth were just kinda... there? idk i understand WHY they didn’t all get individual arcs because like thatd be a mess but the fact that they didnt is why my interest in them kind of dwindled off over time. (aside from greed who was Very good the whole time.)

A character you did not like at first but do now!

1. She Who Must Not Be Discoursed. like at first i was like aight shes bitchy and terrible whatever im not interested but then as time went on i was like oh shes bitchy and terrible AND interesting. idk. still have mixed feelings about vriska and i absolutely will Not get into discourse about her but yeah shes Neat if nothing else.

2. teru... honey im sorry but before i watched mp100 everyone was like “wow i love teru!” and when i first saw him i was like “... okay why tho...” but I KNOW NOW. teru did a lot of things wrong, in his life, i know this and i love him.

3. roy mustang. literally didn’t give a shit about him for like... a lot of the time? toward the end i started warming up to him tho.

Three OTPs!

1. aradia<3sollux, sollux<>terezi, dave<3karkat. like... these are just some kids who genuinely care a lot about each other, and i like to cry about that sometimes.

2. teru/mob/takenaka is a good one. teru and takenaka both like mob because he likes them regardless of the fact that they are passive aggressive dicks. they continue to be passive aggressive dicks to Each Other for a while until they like, idk, actually talk to each other like real people and realize that they have shit in common and are actually capable of being decent. After this point they Will kill or die for each other (and mob still.)  serirei is of course a classic tale of two disaster gays. and then ritshou is VERY good. like. its SO fucked up how quickly they go from like one-sided crush, one-sided Mortal Enemy Status to just. Real Chill Bros in canon it makes no sense and my only explanation is that they were both so goddamn desperate for a meaningful connection with somebody their own age that they just. Settled for each other?? at which point they got VERY lucky because they both turned out to be genuinely good and sweet boys underneath all the trauma and questionable life choices.

3. ok ed and winry are okay and all, i get the appeal and stuff but like. WHY DO PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT ALL OF WINRY’S EXCELLENT GIRLFRIENDS? paninya?? an incredible option, 10/10 cyborg gf. sciezka? cryptid live-in gal pal. LET WINRY HAVE A TON OF GIRLFRIENDS, ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES!!

gonna tag...... uh. @whentvsfly @imhereformysciencefriends @margoslxix and i think most of the other people i wouldve tagged have already BEEN tagged so uhhh mutuals all of u DO it

[aro-aizawa]

(Shadowking2015) Hi anonymouseling. How r u doing? Also, 3, 10, 14, 23, 45, and 47.

oh hey dude! im doing moderately okay to slightly good, thanks for doing the number thing! these always are fun!

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

oh man hard question! i love a lot of fandoms that i’ve been in over the many years. i’ve never really participated in fandoms either, mostly just absorbed what everyone else was contributing? in a way, the best fandom i was in was homestuck because i had a blast when i was into it. i wasn’t caught up in any drama, or self-aware enough to realise that it was probably a toxic place. 

but also realistically, i think the best fandom is probably mha?? i mean hell, it inspired me so much to write my own stuff. and i dedicated a whole year of my life to it, so i guess it’s the actual answer lmao

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

hmmm not really?? quite a lot of the time what happens is that i get into a fandom, go to check out the fanfiction and then get inspired from said fanfiction and write my own. it’s actually incredibly rare for me to read fanfic if i don’t have the slightest inclination to write fanfic for. 

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

honestly i have a lot of brotps.  well. i class brotp as “nice platonic interactions” so i guess from mha i love mina and denki; jirou and bakugou; mic and midnight; tensei and midnight & kirishima and izuku. from marvel, god, there’s a lot but especially clint and sam; natasha and clint; natasha and peter; mj and ned; steve and peter & a bunch of others. 

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

okay im gonna cheat and not talk about my mha fics that i’ve posted. instead, let me tell you about this fic that i have written exactly 0.5% of but planned 50% of it. the fic’s name is “ad victoriam”. i love it because it combines a lot of my personal favourite tropes and basically overhauls all of mha canon from after the entrance exam entirely. it rips canon apart from the seams and then picks up right back where i want it to with an adjusted timeline. i’ve put a lot of thought into it and god am i excited to share it with people when i get round to it. i’ve talked to one person about it and man it makes me really happy. hm. i’ll get round to writing that first chapter soon (i’ve written half of the second and a quarter of the third…)

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

that……..that’s impossible for me to answer omg. as an avid fan of fanfictions who probably reads an average of between 100k - 250k a week (or up to 5 times that), that’s impossible for me to narrow down. i have at LEAST one favourite per fandom. so if you would let me, i’ll list my favourites from different fandoms. 

my hero academia: yesterday upon the stair by pitviperofdoom / dis(associate) by beyondtheclouds777 (i cheated but god those two are so good for different reasons, i’ve read them both many many times)yuri on ice: starstruck by shizuohcheck please: self reflection by sinspirationmiraculous ladybug: the weight of jade by thelastpilot / you don’t know me by ferisae (i cheated again oops)haikyuu: campfire in your chest by deanpendragonmarvel: peter and the jailbirds by beautifullightsdanny phantom: a different sort of housecall by hornswagglerouran: commoner club by artemis daycamp camp: run away home by microsuedemouse

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

oh man i used to prefer ff.net all the way. but nowadays i love ao3. mostly because it’s clean, easy to organise and sort through and it looks nice. ff.net is clunky and empty, and tumblr is ugly to difficult to use unless you stumble across the fic on your dash. so i’m gonna have to go ao3.

[in-paradox-space]

today I haven’t done anything. I’ve been down, anxious and lazy.

I want to get high with friends and do sesh things.

I want to draw in my notebook which got lost along with my drawing pens

and some other stuff

I left my bag in a taxi

I left basically all my convenient shit in that bag, chargers, some meds, my ps4 controller, more usb wires, more usb shit but its all really niche convenient techy shit

it isnt that niche but for “””””techies””””” and travelers alike (me) its really convenient

usb type c and micro usb chargers, otg cables, plug heads, usb 3.0 card readers which btw i can plug into my otg cable transferring torrented shit from my phone to a usb wherever i am

a tiny amount of oxy and codeine, 2 weeks worth of medicine roughly, plus some 5htp vitamins

hella baggies just because

probably makes the prescription medicine in there look suspicious

my beanie

and a small sketchbook, pocket sized

I’ve had it since the start of 2017.

I’ve been developing my very own abstract drawing style in that book for over a year.

Nothing valuable was lost. Luckily my camera&lens worth around a grand wasn’t in there

but its just all my convenient stuff

and what sucks most is losing that sketchbook

and as ive been home alone today

ive wanted all the shit in that bag

i can get over the stuff in there

but I want my sketchbook back

it has my address in there, my name, probably some contact details

I really hope they send it there. Even if they keep the other shit.

I may have left the bag in a taxi though. Usually I’d walk to the taxi place, then walk back. It’s like 2.5 miles in total which is a good thing for me because I like the walk

gets me outside,etc

but uh im anxious

honestly most likely because I fapped

I fap like once every one or two weeks. Nofap is no lie. I feel like shit the next few days afterwards

and uhhh

my neighbour moved out, which leaves his girlfriend in the apartment next door... if shes even his gf anymore???? i have no idea but theyre both moving apparently

well yeah i spoke to her boyfriend a lot, got on with him

but i barely know her

and i have no key to the front door of my apartment building, long frustrating story lol

lost my keys

i keep going to the same key cutter because i have no cash and they do free fixes when their own keys fuck up

they made one key cut work, my apartments, but the one to the front door doesn’t work

i dont want to ask her to open the front door, i dont want to knock on her door, its just

the word here is awkward but everything is awkward thats not really a reason

im just irrationally anxious. I feel like she doesn’t like me. There’s many reasons for her not to but also reasons for her to.

Either way I don’t want to annoy her

and it would just be awkward if she heard me try to open the door, then its locked and she hears that from her apartment

then she hears me go back up the stairs and not knock on her door

then that leaves us both in an awkward place

do i knock on her door, knowing there’s a 50/50 chance she heard my attempt to leave my own apartment building

then do that shit

or do i go back into my flat, knowing she probably heard me avoid her

she can put two and two together

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

then she may even knock on herself

with her nice smile which is actually pretty welcoming tbh

well tomorrow

yeah tomorrow i think oh well ill find out

im getting more medicine which i ordered since i ran out and lost mine

one that im able to live without for a week no problem, havent had it for a few days

im supposed to get a blood test every month on this medicine but its been 3 months

lets hope im aight

and uhhh

i need some kick out of this slump

i just keep lazing around

like i have so much i can be doing

like studying, making things for my pages

just hella shit which isnt even that laborious

like i make memes

thats my main thing

i have hella pages

its fun to make them 

i draw too

thats also one of my main things on the down low

but i keep putting it off

i play rythym games

analyze music

can be boring sometime but im under no pressure to do that

i make videos with my friend

god yeah i should do that

like my studying isnt that hard

i dont have to clean toilets every day

man  i just

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i want to get high on oxy and codeine for 2 weeks

but theres just a few a lot of problems with that:

money for one

thats 2 weeks out of my life

withdrawal from friends, having to hide that im back on the horse

then choosing between lying and telling the truth every time afterwards about the 2 weeks

then it wouldnt be as simple as just stopping would it?

maybe it would, sometimes i do just stop like its nothing

and what do i gain

but you know what

oxy might give me that kick

i just dont know the prices on the deepweb or how to use the deepweb

plus i dont have the money

but yeah i guess i feel like being withdrawn for 2 weeks

wouldnt mind doing some light opiates and reading homestuck

plus drawing 

then maybe cramming physics and maths work into literally every hour for a few days

im apparently having some xanax sent over by a friend

im having my doubts about that. it still hasnt arrived and he has reasons to not send them but still make me pay

this is my tumblr and nobody is fucking reading so yeah

but still drugs are mentioned, this is public and liable

id mention him but im just gonna say its the serious boyfriend of someone who got close to me

it fucked with him when it happened. idk how he feels about it now but hes polite to me

it could just be a polite front though, idk how he really feels

i actually really fucking admire the dude

a lot 

everything ive learned about him, from him and our mutual person has just been fucking exceptional

and thats on my mind every time she advanced on me

every time i invited it

every time i chose not to say no

hes a really great dude like i just

he could have beat me up that one time but he understood

he understood pretty much all times i think

and he opened up to me 

whether he sees it that way or not, i see it that way

id love to be his friend. maybe i will be even though this shit is in the air

but i think he may just be being polite, he probably hates me

but yeah

i like the dude

i dont want to fuck around with something that matters so much to him

when i honestly dont want to bother with her

shes admirably smart, very much so, but just not really the kinda person i want to spend more than an evening with

and i only want to be around her when she isnt drunk and in a good mood

shes so volatile i cant be doing with that

but thats why i commend him even more

hes stayed with her through it all and hes such a great person, in my eyes, to be in her life

and if hes gonna try to get cash from me this way then that sucks

like id probably just pay him if he asked considering how much hes forked out 

but nah hes gotta deceive me

i dont even wanna get into benzos, as nice as it is a few hours in,

i just dont like this memory fog

i dont remember any of it 

and the withdrawal seems fucking SCARY

plus tolerance and the fun wearing off when u get hooked

why couldnt he just sell me oxy lol

............. i may ask him

if i was doing oxy id probably actually get the fuck up

do the shit i wanna do

but yeah fuck that

thats basicslly all im saying

im getting anxious, low and unmotivated again

id call it dysthymia

[dahniwitchoflight]

Alrighty, Finished page 14 of Meat so far

I gotta say, Im really not having the same opinion as apparently everyone else on these epilogues

I’m really enjoying them, I think theyre great delves into the characters they are exploring, interesting and makes-a-lot-of-sense directions for each of them to go, i have a few nitpicks here and there, like maybe Jade’s doggyness didn’t need to be quite so emphasized hormonally, but her own natural teenage hormones and they was she pressuring Dave and Karkat to give her an answer so she doesn’t feel like she’s constantly being put on hold and not allowed to have her own solid relationship, not allowed to have someone she can call her significant other until they decided to give her a straight answer yes or no we’ll date you, so she’s forced to get her needs met with flimsier relationships to try and sustain her need to love affection and well hormones yeah

she doesn’t want to do that, she makes it pretty clear she wants to have a solid relationship with the people she loves and to affirm that, but the people she cares about dont want to do that with her, dont either want to commit to her or commit to telling her no its not gonna be that way, just constantly keeping her on hold for whenever they feel like doing things together with her

and the doggyness affecting Jade slightly i dont care for that much anyway, because it was gonna have to come up/be explained in some way one day anyway, and its not like without them she wouldn’t have been having sexual relationships at all

And then Jane being the way she is is, really understandable to be honest. As of right now, she really isn’t a xenophobic practically trump rebuplican everyone has been making her out to be (though she might be in the future who knows? im only on meat 14)

her main Yikes points are:

She has a distrust of specifically alternian society, and doesn’t want trolls to devolve into that if that is “naturally” how theyre supposed to be

(she doesnt know that isnt natural for them, because it was natural for everyone in her friend group who is a troll, Karkat and Kanaya think alternian society is natural troll society too)

Dave and Karkat and Jade even talk about and bring the unpalatable parts of alternian society, like it not unjust to think alternia is unjust

Honestly they just need more interaction with beforan trolls to set that straight, its not a perfect society either mind you but its much more humanly palatable and would at least seem more reasonable to Jane

Jane does also have a few self aware moments, where she tries to self-regulate and tries to readjust whether something was actually problematic or not in the privacy of her own home, in her own head, with nothing to prove to anyone, she doesn’t come to perfect conclusions sure, but shes honestly doing better than most 23 year old white girls raised on pure capitalism (again, im only as far as Meat 14, i know theres 30 something more meat to go and that might change)

And then she makes an offhand comment about why the consorts even have votes anyway like its ridiculous

and guys, be honest, it honestly kind of is. Like i get that they are sentient beings that should have the ability to decide their own fates and thats the just way of viewing it.

But they arent a natural species. theyre game created constructs, with set levels of intelligence, passion and set interests and theres not a lot of variety between different salamanders

Theyre very very advanced AI, with really realistic programming. Theyre even flesh real.

But theyre essentially hordes of samey walking talking plush toys in reality, its not a stretch for Jane to view them the same way, especially because in their session she didnt have any consorts, they were all dead

and you can bring up Roxy, but Roxy straight up says she likes living with the carapacians because theyre familiar and simple and not at all like the troll or human cities

then finally yeah she starts out trying to manipulate Jake sexually, and thats never a good look for her, but they make it pretty clear pretty quick that it becomes genuine for both of them, and Jake was taking an active role, genuinely thinking of her as beautiful and desirable in there, unlike the other lollipop influence time in canon

he just bails due to gay panic in the middle, and jane is realistically embarassed and stressed about opening up that much to someone in a vulnerable situation only to have them leave you in the dust

i think my point is made, there’s honestly tons of really good character stuff in meat and im really enjoying reading it

fingers crossed it kinda stays that way?

(and at the end of the day, i totally get if other people don’t like these character expressions for certain characters, but to me, they all feel extremely “in character”

maybe this is because when reading homestuck i didnt really focus on character all that much? im a pretty pure mechanics and sburb girl? i didnt make headcanons or get attached or got ideas, i kinda just, took what was handed to me when it came to characters? i didnt even really ship all that much, I think Terezi is my only exception, i got attached to Terezi a lot, i have opinions about her character, but thats pretty much it)

[purrhaps]

[2:19 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

i forgot about roxy/john

[2:19 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

im really liking how johns still having mental crises

[2:19 PM]EchoTheThird:

yeah lol

[2:19 PM]EchoTheThird:

like how would you feel after 3 years of being home alone grieving your father and losing your connection with your friends feel and suddenly you were tasked to leave, go back and fight again*(edited)

[2:22 PM]EchoTheThird:

more importantly hes only now, after 3 years, is realizing how dumb he was being for not spending time with everyone

[2:22 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

i

[2:22 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

dont think its been 3 years

[2:22 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

i think its been 5 or 6

[2:22 PM]EchoTheThird:

pretty sure he said that

[2:22 PM]EchoTheThird:

waat

[2:22 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

he was 17 or 18 when homestuck ended

[2:22 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

now hes 23

[2:23 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

and yeah i remember john was having crises at the close of homestuck

[2:23 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

but its nice to like

[2:23 PM]EchoTheThird:

oh fuck my brain read teen years as three years

[2:23 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

see it from his perspective

[2:23 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

since before we couldnt even see john

[2:23 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

last we saw of john, we didnt even see him

[2:23 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

it was jade saying that john didnt want to do anything for his birthday and that he was in his room alone

[2:23 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

last we saw of john, we only heard of john

[2:24 PM]EchoTheThird:

yeah so its like all slapping him in the face at once

[2:24 PM]EchoTheThird:

i love how theyre portraying that

[2:25 PM]EchoTheThird:

like "fuck wait i gotta go? now? wait hold on i just realized im not spending time with everyone but its either i go now or we stop existing?"(edited)

[2:25 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

its slapping us in the face too

[2:25 PM]EchoTheThird:

Yeah omg

[2:25 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

we get to see all of these thoughts the same time john is

[2:25 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

also, the meat and candy is definitely symbolic of his choice

[2:25 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

its not even subtle

[2:26 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

he could just eat both, but at the same time they taste awful together

[2:26 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

but candy is for dessert.

[2:26 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

dessert comes after the meal

[2:27 PM]EchoTheThird:

holy shit youre right, straight up how i felt about homestuck up until this point was depression about it being over and not having an ending we expected

[2:27 PM]EchoTheThird:

or an ending we hoped for

[2:27 PM]EchoTheThird:

we're fucking john

[2:27 PM]EchoTheThird:

and now that the epilogues like

[2:27 PM]EchoTheThird:

"lol no jk we're going on an adventure boi"

[2:27 PM]EchoTheThird:

we're like WAIT HOLD ON WE'RE DOING THIS NOW??

[2:27 PM]EchoTheThird:

IDK IF I HAVE ANOTHER ADVENTURE IN ME.

[2:27 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

I

[2:27 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

AM MORE

[2:27 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

THAN READY

[2:28 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

TO GET MY HEART BROKEN IN FIC FORMAT

[2:28 PM]EchoTheThird:

WELL YEAH OFC WE'RE GONNA PICK MEAT

[2:28 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

im excited

[2:28 PM]honk hooonk it's homestuck day:

this is the excitement i felt playing hiveswap

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Intermission 1 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentioned/implied abuse; Pesterlogs, No seriously this entire chapter is just logs, swear the next chapters at least a third finished but in the meantime this bit got way out of hand so here 

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

— excerpt of chatlog from group chat “assholes anonymous” 6/13/2015 —

GG: And I’m afraid that’s all Roxy and I know. She got a call from Terezi yesterday saying that she would need to wait a few days before coming down to visit again.

GT: Holy toledo! Christ on a cracker i really picked a bad time to study abroad didnt i. So much happened while i was gone!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is online! —

GT: I feel like a right fool for not checking my messages from anyone while i was away but i was just so overwhelmed by how many there were and so tired out from being in another country and all.

GT: Oh!

TG: DIRK

TG: motherfucker tell me whats goin on!!!!

GG: There you are! Is everything alright?

TT: Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine, give me a minute.

TT: Well. No. That’s wrong.

TT: Everything’s pretty much gone to shit, but everyone’s alive, somehow, and for the time being things have cooled the fuck off.

TG: aaaaaah now im even more scared what happened?!!

GT: Er its good to be back but the girls have been filling me in on whats played out in my absence and im afraid im on roxys side here what in the devilfucking dickens is going on exactly?

GG: Thirded!

TT: I take it you didn’t get around to reading the messages I sent you then, Jake?

TT: Which is fine. I kind of figured. Whatever.

TT: Short version: There was an attempt to reclaim Dave by some of the old man’s lackeys.

TT: An attempt which Dave knew about well in advance.

TG: oh shit

TG: oh shit dave nooooo D:

GG: Oh, goodness.

TT: I caught him having a panic attack in the kitchen, during the middle of the night on the twelfth. He managed to tell me essentially that we had four hours to prepare, and then we’d be under attack.

TT: He was planning on going with the quietly, apparently, but changed his mind at the last minute, I guess.

TT: Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he told us, but…Ugh.

TT: It seemed like he was starting to get a little better, finally, and then this huge fucking setback hits.

TT: It’s frustrating.

GT: I’ll say it is! Gosh dirk im so sorry i missed so much of the leadup to this.

GT: Getting the poor boy back after ten years only for him to be such a mess and to finally get somewhere only to lose so much progress…

TG: aaaaaaaugh

TG: i mean is it really a setback though? he still told you!

TG: ive been having the hardest time getting him to talk about anything that happened to him and i think he n i get on pretty well

TG: he still chose to stay with us!

TT: Yeah, and it only took him two fucking months to do so. I don’t even know if he made that choice because he actually wants to be here.

TT: It’s more like he just decided we’re the lesser of two evils.

GG: Well, that’s better than nothing, right?

TT: Ha.

TT: Sure, I guess. Pardon me if I’m not thrilled, though.

TG: diiiiiirk

TG: dirk chill out a little like i get it but seriously!

TG: trust me dave doesnt want to be mean to anybody

TT: Of course he doesn’t.

TT: I’m not mad at Dave at all, don’t get me wrong.

TT: This is my fault.

GT: Now wait just a moment there strider!

GG: How on Earth is any of this your fault? It sounds to me like you made the best of a bad situation! Dave’s the only one who knew about this!

TT: It all goes back to that first meeting at the police station.

TT: I set the precedent. Made everything a him-versus-us, with Karkat his only ally.

TT: He doesn’t trust us because I somehow said exactly the wrong thing to him back in that interrogation room.

TG: im sure thats not it

TG: dirk hes not one to hold a grudge like you and rose are theres gotta be another reason

TT: I’d be happy to hear it, then, because I’m fucking clueless.

TT: Of all the problems I’ve tried to solve, my own fucking brother is proving the most enigmatic.

TT: He’s the fucking labyrinth at Crete, and I don’t have nearly enough fucking yarn to get through this.

TT: And apparently I’m a fucking outlier in that respect. Roxy’s figured Dave out, the fucking aliens get along with him fine, and apparently even Rose made up with him while my back was turned, because he’s been following her around all day, even though she ripped into him yesterday over Kanaya.

TT: Who, by the way, is a fucking vampire now. I feel like I’m losing brain cells just writing that, but there it is.

TT: I’m sharing the house with a literal alien vampire. I’m officially one of the side characters in my aunt’s trashy books.

TG: dirk dude im telling you dave isnt as complicated as you keep making him out to be!

TG: hes not a puzzle that needs to be solved hes just a scared kid!

TT: Why is he still scared, then? Why?

TT: I believe you, but how do I make him be not scared?

TT: Why the fuck can’t I understand my own brother!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is offline —

GG: Oh no.

GT: Jesus jumping jehosaphat!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is online —

TT: Sorry.

TT: Got a little too worked up, hit my desk hard enough that something came unplugged.

TG: dirk

TG: dirk.

TG: holy shit.

TT: I’m, uh, also sorry that I actually hit enter on those last few posts. That was kind of shitty. I’ll get a lid on it.

GT: You gave us all quite a fright there!

GG: I’ll say.

GG: You shouldn’t feel bad, though! I for one am glad you were honest!

GG: Maybe we can all figure out something! If Rose got things sorted out after the rocky start you mentioned, then I’m sure you can, too!

TG: have you tried talkin to him yet

TT: Oh, yeah, because talking to him went so well last time.

TT: Look, I appreciate the advice. But at this point,

TT: I’m pretty much prepared to just accept that he wants nothing to do with me.

TT: Can’t really blame him. I look like the old man. Probably set off enough bad memories that I’m just going to scare him worse.

TT: I’ll just stay out of his way as best I can.

TG: dirk that is literally the exact opposite of what you should be doing

GT: Well i dont know roxy it might work out better that way.

GT: Give the lad his space and let him settle in on his own time!

GT: Let the air clear a bit before trying anything you know?

TG: jake trust me dave needs a lot of really explicit verbal reassurance

TG: he is the scaredest fucking kid you can imagine okay

TG: he apologizes for things that arent even things that should be apologized for

TG: and says hes sorry again even after you tell him hes done nothing wrong just to be extra sure

TG: and he wont do anything unless you specifically tell him hes allowed

TG: and even then hes super cautious about it

GG: Gosh…

TT: Exactly.

TT: If he’s that scared, me forcing him into a conversation is only going to make things worse. It’s not going to be a productive talk if he’s completely shut down.

TT: I’ll figure it out, alright? Just.

TT: I need to rethink things, maybe. Slow down a little.

TT: It’s just a setback. We’ll recover.

TG: uuuuugh

TG: this whole things such a mess :(

TG: let me know when im allowed to come over and hug on him again will you?

TT: Sure thing.

TG: hug him yourself in the meantime!

TT: Probably not a great idea, Rox.

TG: >:(

— excerpt of chatlog from group chat “who you gonna call” 6/13/2015 —

EB: geez. thats pretty crazy.

EB: i cant believe dave would put you guys all in danger like that.

GG: im sure he didnt mean to!

TT: I agree, actually, Jade.

GG: :0 !!!

EB: really?

TT: I spoke to Dave after all the carnage ended, and I’ve come to realize that I’ve been completely misinterpreting his behavior.

TT: I’ve been viewing everything he does through the lens of my own behavior and Dirk’s, and assuming that everything he did which irritated me was done out of some form of antagonism.

TT: Yesterday, I learned exactly how far off I’ve been, and I’d like to apologize for sharing that mistaken impression with you two.

TT: The problem hasn’t been that Dave is holding some petty grudge. It’s that he’s been scared.

GG: :(

GG: :( :( :(

EB: scared? dave?

TT: Terrified, even.

TT: He was literally so frightened when I confronted him that he could barely move.

GG: oh no! rose!

TT: I apologized, I promise, and I’ve been trying to reign myself in around him now that I know there is fear at foot.

TT: I’m a little horrified myself, frankly, at how bad things must be for him.

EB: but if hes so scared why didn’t he just tell you guys sooner?

TT: He’s scared both ways, essentially. Terrified of what we’ll do to him if he breaks some rule here, terrified of what our father will do to him.

TT: I had expected trauma from the beginning, but when it didn’t present in the ways I expected, I assumed he was just fine.

TT: But this is…

TT: It’s as if his fear responses, even his fight or flight reflex, are just…broken.

TT: Like I said, when I confronted him, his eyes were huge and terrified, but he made no move to defend himself, nor did he try to escape. He just…braced himself. Readying himself for a blow that I had no intention of ever delivering, but which he dreaded more with every second it didn’t come.

TT: Ever since, I’ve been paying attention to his body language, since it’s so hard to read his expressions when he’s got those sunglasses on, and I’ve noticed so many times where he tenses up, so suddenly and to such an extreme that I’m surprised it doesn’t physically hurt him.

TT: And it’s not just for legitimate potential threats, like someone looking angry. He does it for the slightest sounds, for random movements, sometimes seemingly for no reason at all.

TT: Hes like some feral animal, constantly thinking he’s going to be hunted, and yet, he can’t run. He just sits there and waits for the blow to land, hoping that if he simply takes whatever punishment is thrown on him, it will end sooner.

TT: And all I can think is just…

TT: What kind of hell has he been through for these past ten years that he reacts to things as simple as a creaking floorboard or a waving hand makes him think he’s going to be attacked?

TT: What did that son of a bitch do to my brother?

EB: jesus.

GG: D:

EB: i always knew that things were bad for dave but i didnt think it was any where near that bad!

GG: hes not in too much trouble is he??

TT: Not at all.

TT: Terezi let him off with a warning, and there’s not much else we can do to him, besides. He’s already under house arrest.

TT: He knows what he did wrong.

GG: thats good! i wonder why he waited so long to tell the truth though?

TT: I’m pretty sure at this point that he was never intending on telling us.

EB: what! why not!

TT: I don’t think he believes he has a choice. He did tell Dirk what happened while having a panic attack, after all. I suspect it may have been something similar to the sort of terror that strikes when you realize it’s the end of a vacation period from school, and you’re not ready to go back yet.

TT: Except, you know, way worse, on account of it being abuse at the hands of a literal terrorist he would have to return to.

TT: He said something that stuck with me, when I asked, and he seemed very genuinely sad when he said it.

TT: “It doesn’t matter what I want. He’s going to come back for me again.”

TT: He’s so resigned to a fate that he is not actually doomed to.

EB: wow :(

TT: But on the bright side,

TT: I think he’s starting to realize that we really aren’t going to hurt him.

GG: yeah?

TT: He’s been following me around like a lost puppy all day. He jumps whenever I move too quickly, but he’s actually here in the room with Kanaya and I right now. The two of them have been chatting on and off for a while.

TT: I suspect it may be just that he hasn’t worked up the courage to talk to Karkat yet, but even so, he seems like he’s testing a boundary.

TT: Pushing to see if I really am no longer angry with him. It’s certainly a welcome change from his usual habit of hiding in his own bedroom.

GG: oh gosh!! can you tell him i said hi?

EB: holy shit hes right with you? get him online!

TT: John, he’s not allowed to use a computer, remember?

EB: fuck!

EB: tell him i said hi too, then!

GG: looool

TT: Done.

TT: He lit up a little, and mumbled a “Hi” right back.

GG: :D

EB: lol, dork.

TT: He says “This coming from John ‘unironically likes Nick fucking Cage’ Egderp.”

EB: >:B !!!!

— golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] —

GT: Hey, um.

GT: I know this is probably not something you really want to hear just now, but i really do want to apologize.

GT: I just got so distracted and worn out while abroad, and you always send so damned many messages, i didnt have the energy to read them all.

TT: It’s fine.

GT: No it isnt! Dirk i know how hugely important getting dave home has been to you ive known for ages!

GT: And whatever tumultuous relationship status we may currently be sharing youre still my best bro and i feel like a right horse’s arse for not being here for you during such a rollercoaster of a rough time!

TT: It’s alright, really. I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s wholly unnecessary.

GT: I promise ill at least try and check my messages more and keep more up to date on the situation.

GT: Let me know if theres any way i can help alright?

TT: Sure.

TT: Welcome home, by the way. It’s nice to talk to you again.

GT: Likewise!

— twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling grimAuxilitrix [GA] —

TA: TZ told me two me22age you, and by that ii mean 2he woke me up wiith a text 2aying ‘talk two kanaya a2ap a22hole 2hit2 gone down’.

TA: 2o what exactly ii2 goiing on.

GA: Um

GA: Well Im A Rainbow Drinker Now

TA: oh.

TA: you know what actually fuck thii2 iim goiing back two 2leep.

— twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling grimAuxilitrix [GA] —

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 21 (Epilogue 4 Page 4)