#also. to make it clear. I'm being dramatic when I say i will cry or retire if smth doesn't do well. its fun.

[princemick]

ffs stop whining and measuring your worth through tumblr notes

oh my gooooogddd a person who makes content for a website wants them to do welllll oh nooo how horrible and unexpecteeeedddd who would've ever guessed a creator wants to be shown and told their work is cool???1?1?1!1?1!1?1??11

[baby-yongbok]

It's a Date - Seo Changbin x afab!Reader

Genre - Fluff WC - 836 a/n - Day 2 of my Binnie Birthday Week Posts

✧ Masterlist ✧

You’re running, well kinda, you’re walking super fast but it feels like you’re running. You abuse the elevator call button, impatiently waiting with a tapping foot for the lift to arrive. It’s nearly midnight, he won't be expecting you but you need to see him before you go mad. Once the elevator arrives on his floor you rush to his dorm, you knock harder than intended and whisper shy apologizes to the people who poke their heads out to check the source of the noise. 

“That wasn’t even fair, you cheated I know you -” Hyunjin opens the door, swinging it back from the frame carelessly and freezing when his gaze catches yours. “Oh, hey.” You wave, looking past him and over at his roommate. 

“Changbin, someone's here for you.” He pauses the game on the tiny tv, turning around and catching your gaze for a second before he jumps up from his bed. “Hey, what’re you doing here? It’s past curfew.”

“Needed to talk to you about… uh, earlier.” You glance over at Hyunjin who’s still holding the door open. He’s staring up at nothing in hopes that one of you will tell him to move or something. “I just feel embarrassed, I was having a hard time with finals around the corner and I just… I didn’t mean to break down like that. I didn’t mean to ugly cry and be all dramatic.”

“You weren’t being dramatic.” Changbin steps closer so that he’s next to Hyunjin. “And it wasn’t ugly. Nothing about you could ever be ugly.” Changbin stares over at you with a sincere smirk and you stare back with a bashful blush. You expected him to be sweet, he always is but you didn't expect him to be this sweet.

He tugs a bit at the bottom of his black tee before pushing his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “I’m always here for you. No matter what.” Hyunjin clears his throat as you open your mouth to reply. You both look at him and Changbin gives him a death glare. “Hush.” He warns before looking back at you.

“Well I still wanted to apologize for crying like a baby.” You chuckle nervously and he smiles. “You risked getting a curfew strike for this?” You nod and now he chuckles. 

“I also wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to get lunch tomorrow… to make up for my tantrum today.” Hyunjin turns to Changbin, wide eyes staring at his friend while his friend stares at you who’s staring at the floor. “A lunch date?”

“She didn’t say it was a date.” Hyunjin mumbles and Changbin sends him another death glare before he looks back at you. Your eyes are on him now and you catch a glimpse of the blush coloring the tips of his ears.

“Yeah.. a date.” You hold your breath and Changbin holds his for a second before attempting to reply. He stumbles over his words once, twice, three times before you huff a laugh. 

“I’m sorry I’m just- I uh- Yes, I’d love that. I’d love a lunch date with you tomorrow.” You shift your weight from one foot to the other, a wide smile on your face. “I uh- I’ll meet you at your class in the - at the, uh..” He trails off, closing his eyes with a bashful smile as he tries to compose himself.

“I genuinely don’t know why my brain just goes blank when I look at you. I think I'm going a little crazy.” He scratches the back of his neck and you attempt to rock back and forth to defuse the nerves building up in your stomach. “You’ll meet me after econ? North building?” 

He nods, pushing his fists back in his pocket. “That was cute.” Hyunjin mumbles, still staring up at nothing. You giggle at him and even Changbin smiles a bit.

“I should get going.” You take a step back, waving at the two before Changbin calls after you. He grabs a hoodie and slips on some shoes before grabbing his keys. “I’ll walk you back to your building.”

“You sure?” You ask and Hyunjin parrots you, staring at his friend with a furrowed brow, he gets another death glare. “Yeah, it’s late, I'll walk you back.”

He tells Hyunjin that he’ll be back quick and follows you down the hall. You press the call button for the elevator, much calmer than before as the two of you wait in silence. “I grabbed this for you.” He hands you his hoodie, his favorite one. 

“It looks a bit cold out there.” You smile as you take it, it’s the middle of summer. “Oh, thanks.”

“Of course.” He guards the elevator door once it opens, allowing you to step in. You both stand next to each other as the doors close. You hug his hoodie that smells just like him and Changbin smiles down at his feet.

“It’s a date.” He whispers to himself. 

“It’s a date.” You whisper back to him

Thank You For Reading! Please Reblog or Comment to let me know how you liked it! It makes my day! 💕

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[nightmare-foundation]

Honestly it lowkey annoys me whenever people say that Michael has 'very little personality' outside of hunting down his father.

N like- on the surface, that seems true, but like. If you look deeper, that's... not really true?? Because there's a LOT that actually speaks to his character, but you have to be willing to catch onto the connections his character has

Like, for example, Michael has a very straightforward way of speaking. He's dry and sarcastic ("They thought I was you... [laugh]"), has a foreshortened sense of the future (the drawing of a gravestone in the security logbook), not to mention the dialogue of foxybro in fnaf 4. He doesn't beat around the bush, but he's bitter and dry and sarcastic. Even as an old man, his anger and cynicism towards Freddy's shows in his drawings, but he has a sense of humor (the exotic butters and casual bongos referenced in the logbook, not to mention the silly drawings), plus he's sentimental (as said before, exotic butters and casual bongos). Not to mention he's stubborn as shit, given he keeps coming back to Freddy's, even after 30 whole years.

A lot of people also really like to write Michael off as being stupid, for... some reason. The games really say otherwise; the fact that he tampers with the animatronics regularly, figured out what his father did and what happened to Elizabeth in less than a week, freed the dead kids, helped make FFPS and ran a business, likely Also made the fnaf 3 location too, knew what was gonna happen to him in SL (pretty clear given the fact you can ignore Baby's directions on the last night), can manage several animatronics at once throughout an entire night...

Michael is very clearly Really Fucking Smart. Smart enough that I'm willing to bet that was one of the reasons why William sent him to the SL bunker. Michael is FAR from an idiot, and the FNAF movie even proves this further! He's SCARILY smart!

There's a lot more too; him using a red foxy mask speaks a lot to his character too. Red is often used to denote everything from passion to anger (yknow, 'seeing red' being a term for when you're blind with rage), and he wears it the entire time he bullies CC. It's not just a literal mask, it's figurative too; Michael puts up a mask of anger, he pretends to be this scary bully. The cruelty isn't real, Michael is just the scapegoat and he's acting out (very very common).

Also, Michael is 100% who you play as in fnaf 4 based on the movement, and who rubs away in Midnight Motorist. CC is the type of kid to freeze up, curl up into a ball and cry when he's scared, as seen several times in fnaf 4. It wouldn't make sense for him to suddenly turn around and start running around, or fighting back. It's very Michael to run around, constantly looking around, or to break out and run away.

Another note on Michael's character is that he's associated with Foxy. The Funtimes are clearly modeled after the Aftons (Ballora and Baby are, why wouldn't the rest match CC (Freddy) and Michael (Foxy)?), and using that we can gleam some parts of Michael from FT Foxy (since William clearly was trying to mock and make fun of him with the angsty teen voice). FT Foxy is a performer; he's dramatic, he's vicious, attacking even when he 'shouldn't', and wants his stage solely to himself.

This fits Michael; Michael put on an act of viciousness and cruelty, always attacking when you least expected it. So it makes sense that Michael, too, is a performer, and FFPS hammers this in using the business bear. Again, the mask represents Michael acting, pretending, and it wouldn't be the first time an Afton would pretend (William, Elizabeth, and to an extent, CC). The rest of the Aftons are also theatrical and dramatic, so again, this tracks. He's also represented as one of those hand puppets in the ffps alleyway poster, something used to ACT.

And again, with Foxy, we can gleam that Michael likely is also a sort of 'leader' figure, since Foxy has been depicted as not just a pirate captain, but also as a Ringleader. This also tracks, not just bc the Aftons have a circus theme, but Michael is the eldest of his siblings, and thus the de facto 'leader'. He's the first to act, to put things into motion when everything 'ends'. Foxy is also, well, a fox, which are depicted as cunning and intelligent, which only lends credence to Michael being intelligent.

It's also implied that Michael... doesn't really care about people who Aren't his family?? Whether that's by blood or not, he doesn't care abt others who isn't his family. This is implied by the fact that he only cared about freeing Elizabeth, showing absolutely No care about the Funtimes despite them clearly being sentient. Not to mention the lawsuits he regularly gets in FFPS, or the state Fazbears Frights is in in fnaf 3. And, judging by Henry's final speech, he and Michael just. Don't seem to talk At All. At the very least they definitely don't communicate since Henry assumed Michael wanted to die (which is left Very Ambiguous).

Honestly this doesn't even BEGIN to get into everything that the Glitchtrap Michael theory says about his character that also hammer in all of these traits Even Further.

And like. Michael is SOOO much like William when you put all of this into perspective. Like, they are SIMILAR similar, but differ in ways that are important. Michael is a performer, an actor, he doesn't care about anyone outside of his family, he's stubborn as fuck, he's smart as hell, he's sarcastic and dry, etc.

He has SO. MUCH. CHARACTER. You just have to dig a little- this is ALL gleamed from the games and Security Logbook. There's more if you believe he's Glitchtrap- which he very likely is.

Just... it's nuts. He's such an intriguing character, he's not perfect and he's morally gray, yet people love to dumb him down to "hehe sad uwu arsonist zombie boy who's also Stupid"

Please just let Michael be a problematic old man (he was born in the 60s ffs, he's almost in his 60s by the time ffps rolls around).

[krizariel]

Oh don't tell me... you are f*cking my ex?!

(crack, not-fic, jaytim with past timsteph) Talking with friends about how a friend - who was into jaytim and was a tim fan before he was even registered in my radar - unintentionally got me into jaytim; but then he moved on pretty much as I came in and now he has to put up with me and my never-ending duck giggling butt emojis. Or how he eloquently put it: "I'm literally like a tragic dramatic irony mythical Greek MC, just a plaything of fate" Anyway, I remembered this vague idea and then this took shape:

No-capes AU in which Tim was never adopted by Bruce, but the rest (including Steph and Jason) were. Jason is very protective of his family, especially his sisters. And yes, Steph is a gremlin and gets in trouble more often than not, but damn it no one messes with his sister.

Tim and Steph started dating during mid-school; Tim tends to be asked out more often than not and he has trouble saying no. Often times he does not feel truly attracted to anyone; but he does not want to be seen as uptight or impolite or worse... questioned. He often accepts his dates until eventually they get bored of him. Steph was a change of pace of him and at some point he genuinely was feeling attraction to her; but maybe not to the extent she deserved. She asked him out and was always the one initiating anything, and he'd often go along with it. She was amazing, full of life, funny and so pretty; Tim didn't know what exactly she saw in him. However, she'd quickly notice his lack of enthusiasm/interest and often they'd fight. Why say yes when you aren't truly into it? They were on and off for a year until they broke things off for real. Jason of course hated Tim's guts; be that way whatever, but making his sister cry and mistreating her was a different story. After breaking up, Tim tried to reach out to Steph later, to try and explain himself better and be honest with her. She deserved that much. Except Jason found him before Tim could reach his sister; punched him hard enough to send him off-balance, grabbed him and pushed him against the wall to make it very clear he should not get near his sister again or else... (and Tim was scared to shit because danger danger but also creepily turned on when Jason grabbed him and raised him off the floor so easily. He needs to consult a therapist as to why Jason threatening turned him on and somehow that started his bi awakening) Eventually Steph and Tim moved on with their lives, continue dating other people, and given that they still have friends they reconnect, reminiscence of the past and talk it out. They also eventually come out and bond over both being bi. Fast forward years later, neither Tim or Jason had seen each other again; but Tim stays in touch with Steph. Tim is a well known editor at a big publisher and Jay is an aspiring book writer. Steph had given Tim her brother's original novel draft and he actually loved it. Steph: So, remember my brother Jason? Tim: Your hot brother who kicked my ass in front of half the school hates my guts? how could I forget. Steph: Yeah! He is the one who wrote this fabulous piece. Think you can help him? Tim *internally trying not to scream because what are the odds*: ...Sure. If he agrees to meet, I have time tomorrow. But you better be there, in case he remembers he told me not to get near you. I fear for my life. Steph: Don't be dramatic, he probably doesn't even remember you.

---- Steph: Sooo... I have a friend who is an editor at X publisher. He read your work and loved it. He actually thinks it has high chances to be published. Jason: Really? Steph: Yeah! Told him we could meet with him tomorrow for coffee and go over the details. Jason: Wait who is this friend? Do I know him? Steph: Well... remember this boyfriend I had back in mid-school... Jason, as he stops what he is doing, turns to Steph and glares: The one I hit and pushed against the wall and told to never get near you ever again? That one? Steph: Yes! Jason: Wait, he got actually near you again? *starts cracking knuckles* Steph: Yes, but not that way! I wouldn't take that human disaster for a ride and I'd pity anyone who'd date him. Plus I'm perfect with Cass, thank you very much. But we made peace long time ago and we've been good friends since. I'm sure he doesn't hold grudges, after all he knows the work is yours and had no trouble! It's been years, we have all grown up and moved on.

Jason: Fine. ---- The meeting was awkward at the beginning (especially due to Jason's perpetual scowl) but Tim is clearly very professional and jumps right into business. They exchange contact information. It's clear Tim genuinely likes Jason's work. He puts a lot of effort in navigating Jason through the process, giving detailed comments/notes and Jason is happy to see someone catching on the little details and talk excitedly about them. May not be much but internally he is preening. They start meeting often for coffee, at first they'd talk more about work rather than chitchat and then their meetings started evolving into less work and more random talk, getting to know each other. Sometimes they don't finish talking about the book because they got too distracted. Tim opens up about his teen years, how he was (and still is) too dumb for relationships. He didn't know better but as he matured he learned to accept himself. Jason realizes Tim wasn't that bad of a guy as he thought; just someone making mistakes, learning and growing.

Tim finds he hasn't enjoyed someone's company in a while. He has dated guys before and has matured enough to be better and accept what he wants. But as years went by he poured himself into work and has been so busy, he doesn't exactly have lasting relationships so he stopped altogether. This time around, he feels like he genuinely is giving his all. He decides that he will see that Jason's book becomes a reality because Jason is talented, he is amazing and deserves this. And then, he will gather the courage and ask him out. Jason is also troubled because he is developing a fat crush on his sister's ex and he did NOT see that coming.

The day Jason's book is finally out, they celebrate and Tim asks Jason out on a date. ----

Later: Steph: SMH I can't believe you! Jason: ... it's your fault

[madelynraemunson]

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!x reader)

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ minors LOOK THE OTHER WAY

Ch 007: Buckle Up, Baby

A night in the town with Eddie takes a spicy turn when an outfit on display catches your eyes. And what do ya know? It’s your exact measurement…

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

word count: 3.5k words

disclaimers & warnings — dialogue heavy, arguing, trauma dumping again, angst, yearning, shy girl yelling at eddie (as she should), sexual tension, grinding, thigh riding, car canoodling 🫣

“She’s a black magic woman, she’s trying to make a devil out of me.”

♡

Spellbinding is the best word you can think of to describe Nocturna, a town spookier than Hawkins just 20 minutes inland. It sure lives up to its name, with the average closing time for restaurants, bars, and shops being 3:30 AM.

“This city is so cute,” you beam. “Love the late night vibe it’s got going on.”

“Right?” Eddie agrees. “If Hawkins were a Spencer’s, ‘Turna would be the back of it.”

Eds takes you to El Diablo Bar & Grill where you settle for a ‘TURNA Tossed salad’ and beer. ‘The Eddie Special’ may have left you full, but there’s no way you’d ever pass up free food.

Your boss helps himself to a couple of beers as well, both of them way too hoppy for your liking. And just as you predicted, downing two of those bad boys after smoking a shit ton of weed has its repercussions.

“Eddie, what the fuck are you doing?”

Personal space is a foreign concept for Eddie whenever he’s under the influence. Not like that’s any new information. You just didn’t expect him to be so tender, affectionately fiddling with your hair, using it as a mustache, and then attempting to braid it. You’re surprised because he actually does pretty well.

“Where’d you learn how to braid?” you ask.

“Taught myself,” he replies. “That way if Nancy ever calls out, someone at Hellfire would at least know how to do hair. Luckily I haven’t ran into that problem yet.”

“That’s really thoughtful,” you swoon as Eddie goes to braid your other side.

“I’m also learning how to curl hair,” Eddie adds. “If I could get past burning myself with the iron, that’d be great. Until then, I’ll always vouch for a traditional sock bun.”

You watch has he loops your hair around itself to secure the braid, just as he did the first one. Then comes the unpredictable. Suddenly, you’re taken aback when Eddie gives your hair a tug. Aggressively.

“Eddie!” you cry out.

He spirals into an outrageous belly laugh.

You shove Eddie away from you in a playful form of disgust, his dramatics launching him right out of his seat. Customers start to look your way. You hide your face in embarrassment.

“I think you’ve flown off the handle,” you accuse.

“No,” he denies. “Just comfortable that’s all.”

“Yeah and a bully,” you hiss, undoing your braids out of spite. He knows you’re kidding around.

“What?” Eddie questions, reeling you in via bar stool, smirk growing more and more prominent the closer you get. “You don’t like that I pull hair?”

“That’s enough, you little freak.”

Eddie stops, jokingly wincing at your harsh words. "Thought you were into freaks."

"...Shut up,” is all you can think to say.

"Come on..." he taunts, giving your side a soft pinch. “You know I'm right."

He is right.

You poke his stomach with one of your pointy fingers.

"Okay, and what if I was? Does that get you off? Mr. Know-It-All?”

Eddie clears his throat and squirms in his seat.

"No, actually,” he shakes his head, leaning into your touch. “Cuz that's just not true.”

Your eyes find each other again.

An apology lingers in the air. Eddie bites his lower lip as he stares, closing the gap between you two with a slight turn of his knee. You explore his dark irises, his wide pupils. When fixated on you, they emit what appears to be sorrow, with just a pinch of regret.

"Sometimes I'm wrong. And I fuck up,” he admits. “Whether I like to admit it or not."

Eddie chugs the remainder of his pint before slamming it.

You shrug. “Yeah. Like when you told me to get off my phone today but stayed on yours the entire time.”

Eddie chuckles away from you.

“Playing music…” you persist, leaning into him a little more. “Texting people…”

“You jealous?” he questions, tongue rolling around in his cheek.

“In your dreams,” you lie.

You’re so close to him now you can practically smell the beer. He inches closer, the front portion of his curly locks tickling the side of your face.

“In your dreams.”

Your thighs clench. In your dreams, indeed. Eddie winks at you like he knows.

“Whatever you say,” you scoff. “Freak.”

———— 🌹————

After dinner, you and Eddie decide to walk around the shopping strip. Eddie walks closest to the street, leaving you on the innermost part of the sidewalk like a gentleman.

“So who’s Wayne? Heard you and Henry talking about him before we left.”

“He's my uncle,” Eddie answers. “Pretty much raised me since I was a kid. I owe a lot to him.”

You continue to walk. Somehow along the way, you and Eddie end up strolling with your arms around each other. He turns to ask,

“Who is Max?”

“Max?” you’re stunned to hear that name roll off his tongue. Despite him helping with her YMCA membership, you had always registered them as being worlds apart from each other. “She’s my sister.”

Eddie slowly nods in understanding.

“Her full name is Maxine,” you explain. “Max for short.”

“No wonder,” Eddie chuckles. “I always hear you mentioning a Max and have been wondering who that is.”

“You jealous?” you echo him.

He sneers, “You wish.”

You take this time to admire Eddie. His wanderlust eyes. His pronounced Cupid’s Bow. His thick, wavy locks. The tiny freckle at the crook of his neck that you were sure a lover left for him in a past life. The way his dark clothes always seem to hug him so nice. He’s breathtaking. The hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

"WHOA!" Eddie brings you back. "That's the hottest shit I've ever seen!"

There he goes again. You race after Eddie as he scampers across the street, leading you to what appears to be a lingerie-slash-sex shop. On display is a beautiful scarlet red two piece with fluffy wings behind it to match.

DEVIL WOMAN, is what the set is advertised as.

"Whew, lord," Eddie whistles, pressing his hands against the plexiglass.

He turns to you desperately.

"You can make SO many tips with this on," Eddie insists. "I'm telling you right now woman, you need to seize this opportunity."

"Are you gonna pay for it?" you joke, batting your lashes seductively.

"Sure!" Eddie exclaims. "A-anything you want tonight, you'll get."

It sounds too good to be true.

"Not you trying to spoil me..."

"Definitely me trying to spoil you,” a sneaky smirk forms across his face yet again. “Especially since I’ve been an asshole lately.”

It’s a fair bargain. Not like you can deny it either.

You two shake hands, deal, and make your merry way inside Madame Sédutrice’s Love Boutique.

Time to make his pockets — and heart — hurt.

————💋 ————

It fits you like a glove.

Everything is just right. There is no free space, but there is some real estate to breathe. The set is also squat and split proof. Perfect for a good show.

You strut in front of the mirror like a Victoria’s Secret Devil, relishing over how well the fiery red set accentuates your bust, hugs your hips, and highlights the cheekiest parts of your ass with just enough coverage to have the men wondering.

To leave Eddie wondering.

You’re parading around some more, taking selfies at all angles while Eddie talks to the cashier about guitars. Eventually he does circle back around, as you've been in here for a long period of time.

"Shy Girl," Eddie checks on you from outside. "Did you die in there?"

You put your phone away.

"No, but you're about to."

He laughs. "I love the confidence. Let me at her."

You pull the curtain over so that Eddie can see.

“Jesus fuck.”

Eddie sinks down to his knees, the tips of his fingers trailing from your hips to your thighs, down to your calves. He’s being dramatic again, you think, evident by the three bows of resignation he gives you as he continues to take in your beauty.

"What do you think?" you ask him.

"Simply out of this world," Eddie gasps. He stands to spin you around like he once did before. "You look... like an absolute fantasy. Destined for some alternate dimension."

His breathing heightens as his rough hands trail down to your birthmark. And soon, you’re up there with him.

“I can already see you on that stage,” Eddie gushes. “Doing your thing, stealing the show, driving customers wild. The spotlight soaking in all your beauty...”

“The version of me living in your head sounds pretty damn cool,” you giggle.

You snake your arms around the nape of his neck. Eddie blushes. “She’s a lot like the girl in front of me, actually.”

Either of you can let go now. But you both don't.

“Wanna get out of here?” he asks.

"Mmm… I don't think I'm done just yet," you bat your eyes once more. "What’s a set like this without some accessories?"

You grab his hand and he watches in shock — almost starstruck by you — when you manually wrap his hand around your neck.

“Like a necklace of sorts,” you continue. “A choker, maybe?”

“A choker,” Eddie nods. “Yeah, I can do that.”

He gives you a teasing, gentle squeeze. You’re an absolute puddle.

He grins at you connivingly, playfully.

"Lead the way, m'lady. Anything you want tonight is yours.”

———— 🔥 ————

Satisfied is an understatement. You’re strutting back to Eddie’s van now as he trails closely behind, hauling shopping bags that belong to you in each hand.

“Thank you Eddie,” you say as he manages to open the door for you too.

“Anytime, Princess,” he insists.

You get settled on the passenger side while Eddie starts the van back up again. He waits for a while in his seat.

“You looked stunning in that piece,” Eddie raves, the image of you strutting around still living in his head. “I almost don’t want you to wear it anymore.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What? Why?”

“I wanna be the only one who gets to see you in it,” he explains.

“Gatekeeper much?”

“No, I’m just selfish,” he says. “Especially when you look like that.”

Eddie takes it upon himself to fasten your seatbelt for you.

Your eyes trail along as he clicks it in place, adjusting the seatbelt so that it laid perfectly and untangled, protecting your hips…shielding your chest…

“My eyes only, you know?”

“Just yours?”

“Mhm,” he strains. “Mine and only mine.”

His gentle eyes are begging, glued to your lips like bees to honey. His tongue pokes out again, and you watch as he licks his lips in lust. Fuck. You can’t help it anymore. You decide to lean into him and try again.

But hostile air stops you in your place. There's fear in that man's eyes the closer you get and he pulls away from you.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

You swat the rest of him away. “You’re doing it again.”

Eddie sighs in defeat.

"I know."

The fact that you didn’t have to elaborate is very telling. Eddie is not stupid. He knows the game he’s playing.

You watch with zero sympathy this time as Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He lifts a hand. You flinch. Then you relax again when you realize the man isn’t trying to hit you.

“I’m VERY aware of what I’m doing, Hargrove. Okay? That’s the worst part.”

“And you think it’s okay? You like stringing me along, is that it?”

“There’s MORE TO IT, alright?” he groans. “I just don’t know how to explain it to you just yet.”

Eddie starts up again.

“I…” he says, his haunted eyes sparkling. “I just. CAN’T. get. involved. with a coworker. Let alone someone who works under me. Think of all the legal issues that can rise up.”

Bullshit.

“That is a FUCKING LIE!” you scream. “A fucking LIE, Eddie and you know how I know that?”

He looks back over at you.

“It’s because you didn’t think twice about it when you were hooking up with Chrissy.”

You’ve had enough of his excuses. Startled, Eddie shies away from you, surprised that you knew of what he so desperately wanted to conceal.

“Who told you that?”

“Who else would know?”

“Everyone at Hellfire, basically,” Eddie laughs pettily. “I just hoped it wouldn’t get around to you.”

Frustrated, Eddie turns off his car. He tosses his keys onto the center console between you both.

“Chrissy and I happened like two or three times. Is that what you wanted to hear?” he asks you. “She was horny, I was horny. She never gave me the time of day in high school so I got all excited. One thing led to another. Thrill eventually wore off. Now she’s just one of my good friends.”

You cross your arms and glare out the window.

“But the reason I was soooo okay with the Chrissy thing is because I only saw her as a fling,” Eddie continues. “End of story.”

“Where exactly are you going with this?”

“The difference with you is that a part of me actually wanted this to go somewhere.”

Does he think you’re stupid? Surely Eddie can’t think you’re just going to fall for his words instead of his actions.

You scoff. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I?”

You muster up the courage to look over at him again. And there he is, his big brown doe eyes glimmering under the full moon.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before, Hargrove,” he mumbles softly. “That shit’s terrifying. For the first time in an incredibly long time I feel like someone gets me.”

You attempt to look away again. Eddie cranes his neck over towards you to meet you where you’re at.

“Someone who gets what it’s like to have a shitty, absent father,” Eddie continues. “Someone who also had to learn how to navigate grief before getting a fucking learner’s permit.”

“You can stop,” you choke. “I get the picture.”

But Eddie continues.

“…Someone who also has to be the bread-winner of the family, not by choice, but by necessity. And someone whose now got a shit ton of trust issues cuz somebody else had to go and fuck ‘em up THAT badly.”

Your throat begins to burn. A soul cry marinates at the pit of your stomach.

"I'm so infatuated with you, Hargrove,” your boss insists. “Okay? You have no idea.”

You tsk.

“You’re infatuated with me,” it’s more of a statement than a question of yours. “Yet you push me away.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on, like you don’t have trouble accepting things you so rightfully deserve?”

He reaches over to grab your hand. You let him.

"There's nothing scarier than falling for someone who is your literal mirror," Eddie whispers. "Especially when you don't like anything about yourself."

“I know.”

You two fall silent and end up staring ahead for quite some time.

Both of you observe a couple cross the street together. The smitten pair are taking a stroll on the sidewalk, hand in hand and falling into one another like missing puzzle pieces. The guy kisses the girl's forehead, his silhouette reminding you so much of Steve.

“I also didn’t wanna get in between you and Harrington," Eddie mumbles.

“I told you we’re just fuck buddies.”

“But he really, really likes you.”

“Yeah, but if he’s not over Nancy, then what’s the point?”

It’s been a decade since Steve and Nancy broke up and he’s still lovesick over her. When you realized that she couldn’t ever be replaced, you stopped trying to pursue Steve romantically. Eddie falls mute again.

"I'm just his lil pocket pussy for all I know," you break the ice with a laugh.

"Don't say that," Eddie disapproves. "You are more than your body, Shy Girl."

“Then tell me what I am, Eddie,” the wounded part of you speaks. “Since I don’t seem to know.”

His gaze softens. “Well, it’s easy.”

You look at him.

"Corn ball alert,” Eddie prefaces. “But you’re the conversations you have with your regulars, asking them about their day and if they have any updates for you… You're the friendships you make with girls that you don't see a need to compete with. And you're that silly little dance you do when Argyle makes you food. And you’re also the destructive parts of yourself that you keep hiding from but little do you know that even those parts of you tell a story."

The sound of police sirens divert your attention. You shudder at the noise. Eddie seemingly makes note of it and clears his throat as a placeholder.

"…I didn't think you paid attention to any of that, Eds."

"I'm more observant than you think."

You believe him. After all, there are instances when you catch him sneaking a glance at you, turning away too late because you’re caught by his eyes to do the same.

A sigh escapes your body. You interlock your fingers with his.

“I don’t know what... this… is,” you begin. “But all I know is that I really enjoy your company. And that I’ve had a crush on you since the day I met you. If it wasn't obvious already."

Eddie snorts. “Even when I was freaking out over kegs and ground chili?”

“Especially when you were freaking out over kegs and ground chili.”

And now forgiveness is in the air. Monkey see, monkey do, and soon both you and Eddie are grinning at each other from one side of your faces to the other.

“Please,” Eddie requests politely with a gulp. “Will you let me kiss you?”

“Yes.”

To your surprise, Eddie leaves a peck on your cheek out of all places. This fucker, still so polite. He doesn’t touch or graze anywhere else while he does.

“Thanks,” he says as he pulls away. “I guess.”

But you only want him closer now.

“Oh don’t be stupid,” you giggle grabbing his face with both your hands. “Just fucking kiss me.”

You rest your hands at his chin when you pull him closer. And with Eddie’s permission, you sink your lips onto his. His warm breath circles you as your lips attach to one another.

There’s no turning back now.

Eddie’s lips are as soft as a cloud, and they seem to know yours very well. When he’s latched on, Eddie synchronizes with your rhythm almost immediately, getting a few more kisses in before his tongue begs you for entrance. You deny him access and push him back.

“Oooh,” you taunt him, causing him to laugh. “Someone likes me.”

“Maybe,” Eddie blushes, cupping the side of your face with one of his rigid hands. He gives the back of your head an endearing little scratch.

“But you…can’t get involved huh?”

Eddie shakes his head, doing his very best to stand his ground. He’s back to staring at your lips. “No. Definitely can’t…get involved.”

Of course not.

“Not even if I do this?”

You swoop over to press down on the button of Eddie’s seat belt to unbuckle it. Click. He restrains himself, but there’s wonder in his eyes.

“Or this?”

Your hands travel to the side furthest from you as you lean to crank the lever, lowering the head of Eddie’s driver seat to a 30 degree angle.

Amused now, he furrows his brows together and rests his hands behind his head, manspreading as you play that agonizingly long game.

“You’re pushing it, Hargrove…”

Using his unavailable hands to your advantage, you climb over him and assert yourself on his lap. A low groan escapes Eddie’s nose. You make sure to strategically situate yourself right on his crotch. Eddie’s breath hitches, hand hovering over your birthmark as you sink those hips into him. He bucks his up in return, trying to keep up with you.

“What about this?”

“Oh, that’s not fair…”

His hands are back at your waist.

A protruding essence grows in size as you continue to ride Eddie’s thigh. Soft, low whimpers escape from his chest, his dark eyes now beseeching at his mercy. Eddie’s fingers curl, enclosing themselves tightly around the fabric of your baby tee. His available hand gnaws at the seat below him.

“I don’t like playing fair,” you whisper huskily. “I just like getting even.”

Both of yours eyes are glued to what you’re doing, where you’re grinding, and how.

“Why do you do this to me?” he whispers longingly.

“I think it’s safe to say that you’ve been edging me for quite some time, Munson,” you shrug angelically. “Now it’s my turn to give you a taste of—”

You squeal suddenly when Eddie’s hand flies to your throat. The grip he has on you tightens hastily, long before you can even process it.

Shock overpowers you as Eddie studies you eagerly, with flared nostrils and a hot chest. You peer down at him with glossy eyes and yearning lips.

“Back of the van,” Eddie orders. “Now.”

—————————————

tag list: @battymunson , @the-fairy-anon, @ali-r3n, @corrodedcoffincumslut, @bebe07011, @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe @hideoutside , @motherfckerrr , @jxpsi , @munson-magic , @lindseyj23, @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria , @micheledawn1975 , @hereforshmut , @siriuslysmoking , @nymphetkoo , @m-chmcl-rmnc , @holabeans00, @ahoyyharrington , @keepittoyourselftellnobodyelse

—————————————

author's note: i'd be lying if i told you guys i didn't play imaginary barbies in my head in order to map out the argument between eddie and shy girl dfsjklfdkgfgsg would you say I’m a puppet master?

[poppyfamily]

Amangela Writer Appreciation Post!

I'm feeling a lot of things right now and I've decided to write what I like about my Amangela writer friends' writing. I often forget to leave comments on their work because they are GOOD at what they do, and I often forget I'm in the middle of reading good writing because it just exists (something something baby fish asks mommy fish where water is only to realize they've been swimming in it the whole time). Can you believe they do this for FREE? And share it with us just because they want to? They are GIFTS to the community.

It is such a privilege to be in the same creative sphere as these people and I need to express Emotions or regret not doing it. They inspire me everyday. Here is a public declaration of love, hope y’all are okay with that. Ramblings under the cut, because it goes without saying, this got really long.

@okiankeno is so imaginative with their writing. My Teeth, Your Neck is impressive with its incorporations of many elements that are familiar to Smosh and Amangela while throwing them into a fantastical, supernatural universe. I haven't watched Buffy, but their writing is so good at making this fantastical world feel lived in. The world just seamlessly slides into the way they write character motivations, making for strong characterization and dynamics that have me INVESTED. That Maia/Valerie twist? Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.

@babychosen is wonderful at dropping Amanda and Angela in situations optimized for maximum tension - which is clearly seen in first time that i met you (i didn't have a damn clue) and you could be bad (but i wanna find out). I love how she crafts her plots, keeping me at the edge of my seat for what comes next, which is driven forward by the way she writes dialogue - natural to the situation as it captures a range of emotions: awkwardness, uneasiness, attraction and just all the quirks that come with forming relationships. Her writing is so fun to read!

@sage-lights writes fics that are short and sweet, but they pack such a powerful punch. With just a few words, she's able to tell a story that contains the energy of a multi-chaptered fic. This is especially true in sometimes i hold you closer (just to know you're real). LIKE HELLO. I was on the road when I first read it and it had me spiraling for a good few hours. She also captures their voices very well. They also capture the tenderness of Amanda and Angela in such a specific way. One of my favorites is met you at the right time (this is what it feels like), capturing the intimacy of two women who earnestly love each other, beyond romance.

@xxsuicidalravenxx 's writing explores the inner turmoil of being drawn to someone while having a lot of insecurity about your own place in other people’s lives. You know I'm such a fool for you (you got me wrapped around your finger) captures something so incredibly real about the anxiety that comes with a murky and under-communicated relationship dynamic based on unfair assumptions about both herself and how Amanda feels about her - which ultimately is a reflection of Angela’s own self-worth which at this point isn’t the best. It’s so real, god - the self-sabotage and all that and slowly realizing that the people around her care more about her beyond whatever mistake she believes she’s made. Also just - all Chamangela dynamics are excellently written here. It’s a gift.

@unknownteapot is masterful at her craft. I've said it before - their writing is so cinematic.  I can see it clearly in my mind - so good at painting clear pictures of where the characters are in the story. It's dramatic, tension-filled and just excellent writing all around. Several minutes of my life have been spent reading her fics. I feel comforted whenever I read her stuff, it gives the feeling of hope - that things will be okay even when it doesn’t seem that way. I remember when sweetheart dropped in the Amangela ao3 tag and thinking WHO is this absolutely talented writer that came out of nowhere (to me lol), but now I can't imagine this little community without them.

@shesmore-shoebill is so good at capturing Amangela vibes as we see it. Like it truly feels like they've broken down the dynamic into its bare essentials which enables them to produce fics that I can vividly HEAR.  They also just infuse a lot of tenderness into the way they write Amanda and Angela, whether it's in a joke or in like genuine moments of checking in - both demonstrated very well in empty space and Joint Custody (Hey Siri). Also, you just know they're a good writer without reading any of their fics because they are already so articulate in how they write commentary on videos when they aren't even trying to write a story, so when they do have a story, it just hits even more. So good.

@skiespeaches has authored one of the hottest, tension-filled fics I've read in my god damned life. From the first chapter of The devil is in the details I was screaming over how THE FUCK they were able to make just ONE KISS feel like THAT. Also, really really really love how grounded this is in the way they write dialogue and internal thoughts. It captures the pleasant feeling of realizing just how much you like someone and receiving some cues that they might like you back. It captures actions you take because of those feelings that can get in the way of communicating what you really want, the emotional tentativeness that comes with not wanting to bear your heart completely quite yet - yet there is a willingness to see where it goes, hoping that it does come to that point. The entire fic feels like the most emotionally charged scene of a slice of life movie - which is literally my personal favorite genre.

@ghoulishhgayy - famed author of hit Amangela fic Oil Burns had me invested in a situation that I personally haven't read a lot of in fanfiction. The spirit of their fics can be boiled down (haha get it) to the way they write about two women who deeply care about one another unconditionally supporting each other through difficult times. That's the kind of shit I eat up, and it's done so excellently. They just also write in a way that just makes being in love so appealing. They capture the moment of oh in Oil Burns so well that it has me gnashing my teeth, gnawing at the bars of my enclosure etc etc.

@wlwsmosh manages to get to the heart of a story in a few words. It's actually crazy and I’m in awe of their talent. There is a lightness to their fics that just makes me smile so much while also like having some really smutty scenes, which is so dang impressive - balancing sweetness and steaminess really well while also feeling very much like Amangela. My favorite from them are when i call the shots, you call me mommy which I think feels so much like Amangela voice and humor, while also placing them in a relationship and kink context. Honestly, all of their fics are gems.

@baflegacy is so GOOD at putting Amangela in the silliest of situations (heck, situations that are very much based on what we have seen in canon) and teasing out its potential romantic through line. They have a way of capturing emotions that accompany these situations in a way that just shoots you straight to the core. They write tension so well, and are so good at keeping me engaged with what's about to happen next. All of their works are GOATED. I, however, am extremely biased when I say that my favorite is their birthday gift for me - too good (to deny it) - aka one of the best angsty pieces of writing I've read in my whole life my GOD.

@cuecrynsleep is so!!!! A newer friend whose first fic in the Amangela tag I fell in love with immediately (Being Transparent). It was so simple, but captures Amangela’s adorable nature within the context of a romantic relationship REALLY WELL. I’m also just out here eagerly awaiting every post from Reconnecting the Past, which is a chat fic - a format that I rarely like the execution of, but damn I love the way they’re doing it here with the added bonus of the Changela, Arangela, and Shourtmanda dynamics which is just feels absolutely right. I’m out here thinking what are they gonna do next. They are so good at building intrigue and I’m just here sipping my tea and thinking in my head that I sound like some pathetic fuckboy sexting going “and then what?” because I am seated. I am sat. 

Anyway, if you’ve reached the end of this post - go support these writers!!!! Make sure you let them know if you like their stuff - either through a comment, kudos, an ask, a message, or bookmark. I promise you it makes these authors’ days whenever they see any kind of feedback for their work, and it keeps the community ALIVE. I am guilty of not doing that but it’s always great to try instead of not. I know from personal experience that it makes so much of a difference in their motivation to write more, while also allowing us to savor the work instead of mindlessly consuming it. Thanks for reading me gushing about all of them. Love you Amangela RPF community! Very grateful for y’all more than you’ll ever know <3

[fahbee]

No Nightingales

We, the audience, know what that means. But how do Crowley and Aziraphale know?

Crowley makes it a point to deliver this line in the most 'pay attention, this is important' way possible. "Listen. Do you hear that?" Dramatic pause. And after Aziraphale says he doesn't hear anything, Crowley continues, "That's the point. No Nightingales." Followed by, “You idiot. We could have been… us.”

Let’s talk about it.

This is the first time in the show that nightingales are explicitly, openly referred to between Aziraphale and Crowley. Prior to this moment we had God's narration and the song playing on the piano during their romantic celebratory lunch at the Ritz. But no one in-universe has mentioned the song, or alluded to its importance or its meaning to Aziraphale and Crowley.

But during this painful 'breakup' scene, not only does Crowley refer to nightingales, but he does so in a way that is makes it clear that "nightingales" is actually a code between them meaning “us”.

After Crowley says “no nightingales” Aziraphale looks hurt, almost offended. Then Crowley says "we could have been... us" (past tense) and Aziraphale's heart breaks. He quickly looks away because he knows he isn't capable of hiding this pain. We briefly see this about-to-cry expression when Crowley grabs him for the kiss. In other words, Crowley saying "no nightingales" is understood by both of them to mean "our romance, our 'us', has ended before it even truly began."

Think about what this must mean for the rest of their 1941 interaction that we have yet to see. "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" was published in 1940. I think it’s clear that the first time they heard that song together, they had a breakthrough in their relationship. It might have been a baby step - but it was a significant one. Something happened between them to make "nightingales" code for "us" and it makes perfect sense for that breakthrough to have happened during their romantic 1941 encounter.

But I don't think it was anything as dramatic or earth-shattering as a kiss or a confession. I think it's clear that the bookshop kiss at the end of s2 was their first kiss, and Crowley's "we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't" speech is the first time either one of them as put their feelings for each other in such plain language. Nina's "have you been together long" talk with Crowley, and his subsequent shell-shocked reaction to it, points to Crowley not even really being fully aware that what Aziraphale and Crowley feel for each other looks like romantic love to outsiders because it actually is romantic love.

So what the hell happened in 1941? I am confident that we're going to find out in s3. My guess is that they continued drinking into the night, at some point one of them turned on the radio, and then the song came on. My hope is that Crowley asks Aziraphale to dance, which Aziraphale promptly and nervously turns down (call back to the s2 line "You don't dance.") but this leads them into a discussion about their importance to one another, even if they can't actually demonstrate it explicitly - no dancing, no touching, etc. Then finally, at the end, one of them plainly ties "nightingales" to their relationship in the most achingly romantic way possible. "You'll always have me, until the world ends, until the nightingale stops singing." I'm no writer, but you see what I mean.

I also think "no nightingales" means that when Aziraphale and Crowley finally do reunite and explicitly become an "us" (complete with do-over kiss) we'll get a line of dialogue referencing the nightingale once again.

[animeomegas]

Hi, I just noticed your request open and I got to say, I'm your fan, I was waiting to ask you: what would happen if before the great war the alpha (who isn't a ninja but a civil) decided to confess to the omega (be it any of them, all of them if you can please)? Would they tell the alpha to wait for them to return? And in that case what would happen if they did or didn't?

Would they reject the alpha because they don't know if they will return or not? What would happen if they didn't even when the alpha waited with a broken heart, but what would happen if they returned just to see the alpha courting or being courted by others? Would they try to win their love back or leave the alpha because they believe that in that way they will he happier?

Okay, so there's sort of two asks here, so I'll split it. @crying-fantasies

A civilian alpha confesses to him just before he goes to war

Leans into the confession 100%, gives them a passionate kiss and makes them promise to wait for him. In return, he promises to do his best to come back. The whole thing is very dramatic and romantic: NARUTO, Iruka, Kiba, Lee, Kankuro

Accepts the confession, but it's tinged with sadness. He accepts the feelings and gives the alpha a tender kiss, but he knows he might not return and that he can't promise to. He would want them to wait for him, but in the event that he doesn't come back, he makes them promise to move on and be happy: Gaara, Chouji, Haku, Yamato, Minato

He tells them to stop talking because it will only make things harder. He asks them to wait for him to return and then confess, once they both know they both made it out alive. Talking about feelings right now would be too much, it's not the time for that: Shikamaru, Shino, Neji, Itachi (non-massacre), Sai

He gently turns them down, not because he doesn't like them, but because he can't have someone waiting on him like that. He just wants them to be happy, to move on, not wait for someone that might not ever return: KAKASHI, Sasuke, Itachi (canon)

...

If he came home and the alpha he liked was being courted

He'd try and win the alpha back boldly. He liked them first, he loves them, so he's going to give it his all: NARUTO, Shikamaru, KIBA, LEE, Kankuro, Sai

He'd try and get them back more subtly. If at any point it became clear that they really had moved on, he'd back down immediately. He's just testing the waters and hopes they reciprocate: Chouji, Iruka, Neji, Minato, Haku

He'd wait with bated breath for the alpha to make the first contact/move. If they don't even bother coming to see him after he returned from war, then the romance is dead, but if they do, he moves up into one of the categories above: ITACHI (non-massacre), Shino, Yamato

He'd watch from afar, happy that this special alpha was happy. That's all he wanted: KAKASHI, ITACHI (canon), Gaara, also Haku (depends on a lot of factors)

He'd watch from afar bitterly. He wanted that alpha. But clearly they didn't want him: SASUKE

[stuffymcstuffsworld]

No, I'm not dying

The flu was nothing new to humans. They had been dealing with variants of it for centuries despite what some assumed. So, really, you calling in a sick day and locking yourself inside your room so the kids didn't get it wasn't a big deal. Or so you and Iruma had thought.

Apparently, it was a big deal to demons. Your phone received hundreds of different texts and calls the main culprit being Balam, who was practically a hysterical when speaking to. Why in Devi's name did he think you were dying?

Asking what he should do for your human burial rights and everything. It kinda pissed you off that he had so little faith in your immune system! And if Balam was being dramatic, Sullivan was being 10x worse.

Balling his eyes out and rambling about not wanting to lose his baby. Honestly, what a headache. It wasn't until after you woke up from a nap that you saw a text from iruma that made you think twice.

'I think there's some kind of misunderstanding. Maybe flu means something else here?' You thought back to all the crying and excessive messages. That might explain something. But you still had 2-3 more days for recovery.

So you simply texted back. 'Kindly remind your grandfather that we are not demons and therefore will not die from demonic disease.' Then you shot a quick text to the sniveling demon outside your door. 'I'm not dying for devi's sake. I just need rest!'

Then you called Balam and demanded he come over now if he was going to be so emotional about this. The large demon was outside your balcony in minutes. You swung open the doors and gave the sharpest glare you could muster with your stuffed up system at work.

"I'm gonna make this very clear, so listen." Your voice a little nasally, but luckily, it wasn't too bad. "I'm not dying. I will not be dying. Humans have dealt with this for generations. it's a part of life. Now stop fussing. All I need is bed rest for 3 more days max and then I'll show you that I'm still alive and will beat the ass of anyone who says otherwise."

You coughed a few times, but the glare you gave when the large demon reached out stopped him in his tracks. "I'm kicking you out of the nest till I get better." He gasped "what no please what if it gets worse or-"

You gave him a look. "I am fine. I will be fine. You can ask questions and give me a full check-up when I am better." You slammed the door back into place. Knowing that if he wanted to, the demon could easily rip it off its hinges. But also knowing he wouldn't.

A knock at your door reveals a tear stained Sullivan looking at you. Or well, it's more like through you. "Humans are so delicate." He murmured. You snorted.

"Of course, we are compared to demons. That just makes all of our accomplishments more amazing! Watch me, Papa, I'm gonna get better, then I'll be kicking down the doors to babyls again in no time." You flshed a cheeky grin.

***72hrs later***

You race down the stairs, wishing the kids good morning. Bestowing hugs and kisses freely as you went. Leaping past a shocked opera and into the dining room where a sulking Sullivan sat.

You started texting your colleagues that you were fine as you made your way over to the slim demons side. "Papa, I'm feeling lazy. Will you carry me to school?" You teased. The demon perked up and looked at you.

You smiled and twirled in place a moment. "Hurry, Papa, I have so much to do before classes start." Sullivan scooped you up immediately spinning you around the room.

Laughter filled the room. Later that day, just as the bell rang for first class to start, you kicked down Balams door. Students shocked yet egar to see you. "I lived bitch!" You shouted before striding over to the trembling demon and pulling him in for much needed cuddle time.

[novelmonger]

Sorry, i know this is a bit random, but i recall you wrote ages ago that Carol Berg helped you get over disowning Robin Hobb as your favourite author (did i get that right?), and being familiar with both authors myself, I couldn't help but wonder what’s the story there? :) (just discard this if it's something very personal)

Ohhh, impressive memory! Yeah, I don't mind sharing, if you'll forgive me for being a little dramatic about the matter...and long-winded ^^'

(To be clear, the only Robin Hobb books I've read are the Farseer Trilogy, Fool's Errand, and The Golden Fool. The only Carol Berg books I've read so far are The Spirit Lens and The Soul Mirror.)

I was first introduced to Robin Hobb when my brother gave me the Farseer Trilogy when he went off to college, a year before I did the same. That was a very weird and stressful in-between sort of year, one where I really needed some other world to escape to, so I utterly devoured that trilogy.

Assassin's Apprentice, especially, really grabbed my imagination (and is the one book of hers I still have on my shelf). In many ways, it's the kind of story I hope to be able to write one day. It's high fantasy, with magic and kings and queens (and eventually dragons, but not in that particular book), but it feels very grounded. It doesn't brush aside some of the more sordid aspects of medieval life, while not making everything feel grungy and ugly like some grimdark stories I could name. There is ugliness, but there is also beauty - in realistic measures that makes the world feel like one that actually exists somewhere.

I also loved how deeply emotional Robin Hobb's writing was. I immediately felt like I was living under Fitz's skin, feeling things as he felt them. It's not rare for me to cry when reading a good book, but there were several scenes where it really struck me hard and I just sobbed my heart out. (I'm particularly thinking of the last scenes with Smithy and Nighteyes, as well as Fitz saying goodbye to Burrich in...I think that was the third book?) A lot of fantasy in general, and especially the books I'd been reading around that time, were much more plot-focused, so even when the worlds were cool and the plot was engaging, I wouldn't get hit with emotion that strongly. Robin Hobb really stood out in that regard, because while her stories have intricate plots, they're also intimately characterized. I don't think there was a single character in that series who felt flat.

Besides that, Fitz is a very sympathetic character, especially in the first book when he's just a kid who doesn't fully understand what's going on - and I've always had a thing for lonely little boys. And then there's his animal companions! Nosey! Smithy! Nighteyes! (Oh my word, Nighteyes alk;djfsdlkjf) And I also really liked a lot of the human secondary characters, especially Burrich, Kettricken, and Verity.

But more than anyone else, my favorite character, at least from the second book onward, was the Fool. He was so kooky and weird, so mysterious, so multi-faceted. One minute he seems almost half-witted, the next he rattles off something truly wise. And certainly by the end of the Farseer Trilogy, I adored the way his relationship was unfolding with Fitz. It seemed like everything I've always wanted and so rarely seem to find: two men who trust each other with their lives, who would die for each other, who aren't afraid of telling each other that they love each other, without even a question of romance.

Well. If you've read the Tawny Man trilogy, you might be able to guess some of where this is going.

I think my main problem was identifying too closely with the writing. I didn't just say, "Robin Hobb is my favorite author!" or "Robin Hobb is my writing role model!" It was like...because I recognized multiple very important things in her writing that I also wanted to achieve in my own writing, I went beyond simply trying to learn from a master and skipping ahead to assuming that she would craft her stories the same way I would in ten, twenty, thirty years. Like the only difference between us was time and experience, like we had the same values and the same ideas about characters and stories.

(To draw a contrast, I would now say that my primary writing role model is Brandon Sanderson. I really admire his worldbuilding and the way he crafts compelling plots and interesting magic systems but also does really well with making characters interesting and realistic, so I can enjoy a breathtaking plot and also sob my heart out in the emotional scenes. And I also really like the way he writes romances. But while I know there's lots I can learn from him, we write very different stories. I don't really have any aspirations to write epic fantasy with huge, sprawling casts and intricate magic systems. I'm much more interested in smaller, standalone stories that focus on just a few characters who might not even be saving the world. So it's much easier to read his books and go, "Wow, that was awesome! I have so much to learn from him! But I would never have written XYZ that way.")

Looking back, I can see a lot of red flags that should have jolted me out of this weird way I was reading Robin Hobb, things that should have clued me in much earlier that it wasn't just that Robin Hobb is a much better writer with ages more experience than me, it's also that we have very different ideas of how to handle a story and its characters. If I'd noticed sooner, maybe I would have been able to just enjoy her books for what they are instead of imagining that they were something else and then getting sucker-punched when I couldn't deny the truth any longer.

One indicator was Robin Hobb's stance on fanfiction. She took her rant down from her website, so I suppose it could be that her opinion of fanfiction has changed, but she's still on the forbidden list on FFNet, for whatever that's worth. Anyway, my point is simply that anyone who ever felt that strongly against fanfiction is clearly not someone who sees eye to eye with me on everything XD

Another interesting point is how, now that I've put several years between me and these books, I see how kind of...excessive Robin Hobb could be with all the horrible things that happen to her protagonist? Don't get me wrong, I love angst and whump probably more than I should, and it made for some really dramatic and nail-biting plots because it was clear that she wouldn't balk at going so far as to permanently maim Fitz if she thought the story called for it. Worse than that, she kept on tearing away everyone he loved in one way or another. There is so much pain and darkness in these books, and Fitz always seems to come out the worse for it, despite all of his efforts. If I'd been writing the stories, I would have given him a bit more of a break here and there ^^'

More to the point, though, is the way Robin Hobb handles romance. I knew from the second book (when Fitz is actually old enough to have romantic entanglements) that I did not care for her romances whatsoever. I don't think there was a single romance in any of the books I read of hers that I whole-heartedly liked without any reservations. (Kettricken and Verity came closest, but we hardly even see them together, and then there's that whole thing with Fitz....) Content-wise, they're not the most graphic scenes I've flipped past read, but the way Fitz never fails to make the absolute worst choices when it comes to romance, and the way he never fully commits to any of his romantic partners...like, I get it (at least sometimes), but I don't respect it.

Normally, I wouldn't keep going with an author who puts so much sexual content into her stories, even if it's not usually described in much detail. I would have gotten fed up with Fitz's dumb romances...but I really liked everything else about the books, so I persevered. Even if Robin Hobb's romances were crap, at least she was doing a really good job at making me care about all the other relationships. At least she was doing something I'd so rarely seen, with Fitz and the Fool's close friendship. There was no drama there. No dumb misunderstandings or stupid choices.

Until there was.

When I got to a certain scene in The Golden Fool, where rumors abound about the Fool's sexuality and Fitz finally confronts him (for the second time) and is like, "There's nothing romantic going on between us, right???" I was crushed by the Fool's response. I was waiting for another scene kind of like the one in...Assassin's Quest, I think it was, where he asks a similar question and the Fool's answer is basically, "Why does it matter? I love you, that's all." Instead of that, the Fool's response leads Fitz to understand that the Fool is in love with him (I don't have the book anymore, but I seem to remember the line going something like, "I love you in every way possible."), and he handles it as well as Fitz ever does, which is to say, terribly.

That was the moment where everything came crashing down. I don't know, maybe no one will really understand why that was such a big deal to me, but it was like all of a sudden I couldn't fool myself anymore, and I saw that Robin Hobb was taking the relationship in a direction I never wanted it to go. I wanted it to be the one uncomplicated relationship Fitz still had. I wanted it to go without saying that they loved each other, but not romantically. In that moment, I realized I didn't care what the answer to the mysterious things about the Fool's identity was. I didn't care if the resolution of it all ended up being that the Fool was a woman after all, or that he's some kind of androgynous or hermaphrodite creature, or that he ended up being a dragon or a fairy or anything else. I didn't care what the answer was, because I didn't want them to ask the question in the first place.

It was the weirdest feeling. Like...usually, if I make it past a certain point in a book, nothing short of a graphic sex scene or something truly horrible will make me stop reading it, even if I'm bored and don't care anymore. I usually at least want to see how things end. But when I got to that scene of this series I was deeply invested in, that had made me cry and smile so many times...all of a sudden, I didn't care at all. I didn't care if everybody died horrible deaths. Because the magic was shattered, and suddenly I was looking at letters printed on a page that I didn't much care for, rather than a vibrant world passing before my eyes.

So I kept Assassin's Apprentice, because I still think Robin Hobb is an excellent writer, and that's the one book in the series that doesn't have any romance for Fitz to screw up. But I sold all the other books, and have never felt even the slightest urge to read any more of her writing.

At long last, this is the part where Carol Berg comes in! I don't remember how long it had been since I disowned Robin Hobb as my favorite fantasy author, but at one point I picked up The Spirit Lens. I don't know if you'll agree with me or not, but I noticed a lot of similarities to Robin Hobb's stories. The way Portier hides in plain sight but is the one who really gets things done in the kingdom. The way the fantasy is magical and interesting, but still very grounded, paying attention to things like the workings of the court and such. The exquisitely horrible torture Portier suffers.

But most of all, my favorite character, Ilario de Sylvae! 8D The second he came on the page, I sat up straight, feeling like I'd just heard a familiar voice. Not necessarily because of his actual voice, but his character is so reminiscent of the Fool! Pretending to be a foppish rich boy who faints on couches at the sight of blood, only to reveal he's actually very serious, very skilled, and has a heart of gold. He comes through for his friends in the nick of time. He cares deeply for Portier, especially, but there's not a hint of romance between them. (At least, not in the two books I've read. I picked up on what might be some hints as to his sexuality, or at least the hints of questions, so if that becomes a thing in the third book, I guess I'm wrong about this. But so far I don't see any of that between him and Portier.)

So it's really interesting, because I was so enamored with Robin Hobb's stories, just blown away by the sheer emotion, but while I've enjoyed Carol Berg so far, I wouldn't say she's in my top five or anything. I think she's an excellent author and I really do love her characters, but I don't think they've made me cry so far. And yet, reading The Spirit Lens kind of healed the wound left by The Golden Fool. I'm not expecting Carol Berg to write the story exactly the way I would - in fact, I don't think I would ever get to the point of writing that particular story! - but that frees me to just enjoy a good story well told. And I can see echoes of Fitz and the Fool in Portier and Ilario, without any of the qualities that aggravated me so much. Like I can finally get the resolution I didn't realize I still needed.

Anyway, that's my story! Hopefully I didn't bore you to tears! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the two authors.

[boxwinebaddie]

Have the CD guys ever read fanfic about themselves?

OH MY GODDSKLHDHLS

YES!!! yES, THEY HAVE!!!

THEY'VE READ TOO MUCH, TBH.

no, because back in the good ole days when the boys were still The Boys and darling scotty had not made his evil fuckboy transformation into Thot, they did a very silly segment on MTV that was sponsored by red bull, who, in my fake ncuniverse, collabed with grey goose,

and released these very crazy 4loko-esqe red/gray alcoholic energy drinks that the CD boys were taste-testing ( yes, they were Gone ) while they dramatically read and re-enacted the most vile, viral sex scenes written about them in aO3 fanfictions. it was...So Good.

( boxwinebaddie DEF made the cut, jsyk. xx )

but anyways, for con-sext, The Boys took turns reading...

kenny carried the whole thing on their back tbh ( all while wearing the skeleken facemask, might i add, which required them to suck their drink through a swirly straw...a lot of sucking jokes were made...smh )

scott, i think, had to pause every five seconds to laugh and when he wasn't, his med-student brain was looking too far into the logistics of all the sex positions and the motivations behind them...love him.

jimmy's performance was phenomenal, obviously, ( comedic legend ) but all the stuttering and slurring required subtitles, i fear. whaaack.

but, uh...speaking of Reading...and being Whack.

i just want to start out by saying...

Ravenstan...I Love You.

God Bless You, Baby.

you really....tried your Very Best.

however...

...that man CANNOT read.

HEEEELPSSK

OOOOOOOOOF. IT WAS /SO/ FUNNY, YOU GUYS.

i need a ten minute super-cut of raven of crimson dawn trying to read because it is SOOOO Unserious. his dyslexia is soooo bad. RIP </3

however, i must say that i admire the confidence in which he very loudly and proudly read out words, smiled very cutely at the camera,

and pRONOUNCED THEM DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

it was god tier comedy, i am not even joking, the boys regularly skipped turns so stan had to read more often...it was that funny, fml.

he would try to read something, sound it out, squint, tilt his head to the right like a small, confused dog and go:

"'his...Personal dick?' but that...doesn't even make SENSE??? pero like, Clearly it's Jimmy's Personal Dick and not someone elses?? so i don't know why xXdrummers-bang-harder-69Xx even Wrote that." :/

please note: scott and jimmy LITERALLY ABOUT TO START CRYING whilst kenny takes a v large slurp of their drink, also trying v hard not to cry like "rae, baby, i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this..."

*literally holds stan's hand.*

"it's not Personally...

...it's *Pulsating*.

'His /PULSATING/ Dick.'"

which i think they figured would’ve cleared that up, but, not enough, i guess bc ravenstan, squinting Again, said

"the stuff.....in orange juice?"

HEEEEELPPPPPP

NOOOOO SKLHSDSKD bABY THAT IS /PULP/.

ft. jimmy shouting "AYOOOOOO! can we get some fanfictions with smaller w-w-words in them? because raven can't r-r-read."

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUTAL!!! BOOOO!!! LAME!!! CORNY!!!

Justice For My Sexy Dyslexy KING!!!! >:O

listen!!! he is Very Nice and Very Pretty, therefore, he does not NEED to know how to Read, okay?!!! he has Other People to read for him, namely, his super smart mega fine Law Student Boyfriend who rEADS TO HIM EVERY NIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! he Won!!!

he did also say 'okay, FUCK YOU GUYS!' and scott legitimately waved the list and (th)said "i think you actually do that in thith next one."

WHICH????? the only thing funnier than stan trying to read on camera, is when they have to read any fic where ravenstan whips out...

…hIS THICK MASSIVE TEN INCH SCHLONG.

when i tell you they were SCREAMING!!!! ohMyGOD.

that was sO FKN FUNNY to them, they were like OH MY GOD, RAVEN PUT THAT THING AWAAAAAAAY!!! ITS TOO LARGE WERE SCARED SKDJSLD dead, actually sooo dead...like their audience did not understand the context of that, but it was SOOOO unserious.

i swear the cd boys fave inside joke is to make an insane amount of out of pocket raven dick jokes in interviews, like i shit you not, they’re like "hi, sorry we're late! raven turned around too fast coming out of the shower, accidentally slapped us in the face with his HUGE DICK and knocked us out cold." SKHDD it happens so often ppl are literally Frothing At The Mouth trying to SEE IT.

smmHHHH.

like, besties...

I'm Gonna Hold Your Hand While I Say This.

HKDSKDSKDKHSDhLKSHDLDSK

Live, Laugh, Love My Boys. <3

-uncle nina, proud mother of four

( or, uh, Three ig )

[shigarakisslutbag]

This isnt directly a request but if you do end up getting inspiration out of this then im glad! (wouldn't complain lol) Imagine how Shiggy would act if some villain with a big loving heart came in and just- somewhat adopted him. Shiggy gets injured? They're there soothing and scolding him. Ranting about video games or heroes? They're patiently listening. Makes my heart so happy negl.

Omg anon I actually really like this idea lol. I have no idea how I would write it as a fic or even organized headcanons BUT I will most certainly give you my disorganized thoughts on this because I have no self control.

APOLOGIES because I'm writing this at 1:33pm and I am very tired (but will likely not sleep until 3am.), THEREFORE, I probably have many typos because I didn't proof read an I am so sorry lol. Anyways, hope you enjoy my thoughts on this, feel free to add anything, I don't mind going back and forth on this topic (this goes for anyone btw! Not just anon. I love hearing everyone's thoughts on concepts I write for)

I feel like in this scenario of reader being a villain, reader's motives are either out of spite towards their hatred for capitalism or they're just kind of... goofy...and unhinged... in a bad way .. thatcopsandheroesdontlike YOU GET THE PICTURE OK? (Use your imagination bestie)

But regaRDLESS, you have a huge soft spot (and maybe some hard spots;) ) for shigaraki.

Which actually just ends up with you having a lot of compassion and care towards him. You can tell he's been through a lot. anyone can. and seeing him having clear struggles in his physical life and internal conflicts, you can't help but want to, well, help him.

I won't go into a huge back story because I simply... am tired LOL. But somewhere along the way shigaraki let you grace him with your presence.

So now you're here with your adopted introverted son and guiding him through his life full of terrorism, tyrants, and genocide 🫶 (you don't quite understand how he's both introverted and a menace to society at the same time. Shigaraki is what happens when an introvert just gets really fed up with capitalism ig)

BUT I DIGRESS

Shigaraki actually really appreciates you're presence. Will he admit it? FUCK NO LMAO. he'd rather twist his eyelids off and eat them before telling your annoying ass he appreciates you. But he does. Just trust me, he does.

Besides spinner, no one really listens to his rants about video games, players, the fall of society. Dabi refers to him as "a cartoon villain on heroin who monologues " shigaraki didn't like that very much

But you listen. You really listen. You ask him questions, you validate his feelings and concerns, you make sure he knows that he's making progress, ect. You don't just hear what he says, you listen. You engage. Which is something he's needed for a very long time.

Especially when he gets injured, is when he gets the most attention from you. Honestly sometimes he wants to hurt himself just hear you cry over him LOL. He's low-key obsessed with you but don't ever bring it up if you notice.

Like the one time he came back to the bar after the U.S.J incident, all bloody with bullets wounds, you were... not handling it well to say the least. Lol. Shigaraki was fine, just chilling on the floor cursing the hero bastards, as he calls them. But you were "dramatic" as shigaraki says. "I'll be fine I'll just stick some bread in bullet holes and cover them with plastic wrap"

???

????!!!!

SHIGARAKI YOU SUPID FUCK

You, much to his dismay, disinfected the wound with alcohol and with kurogiris help stitched up the wounds and wrapped them with a compression bandage and made him rest while checking in every so often to change out his gauze and bandages and cleaning the wounds again.

You also checked in quite a bit to make sure he was hydrated (with water because all the idiot drinks are energy drinks and alcohol)

Going back to listening to his interests, you both share some of the same interests so it helps a lot with your bond with the leader of the league. Even political views.

He listens to you too, even if he doesn't understand some of your interests or is very knowledgeable on certain topics you enjoy, he loves listening to you. He actually thinks your way of speaking and the way your voice sounds is very, very cute. But again, he'll never tell you. He's too embarrassed to and doesn't want to ruin,,,, whatever reputation he thinks he has.

[ruporas]

i've been wondering- what do you think of vash and ww's relationship to pain? do u have any thoughts on it??

cuz i was just thinking like. obviously they're both extremely resilient and don't care much if they get hurt in the process of achieving whatever, but like... as for the pain specifically, i have to wonder.

cuz i'm reading trimax for the first time and toward the end of the sand steamer mess kite basically asks if vash even feels pain. and i mean... he has to, since not that long ago he just hit the floor with a dramatic blood splatter lmao. but like.

is he just suppressing visible reactions? or does he just not feel pain unless it's above a certain level?

and i wanna know about ww too if you have thoughts, i just haven't gotten that far in trimax :')

forgive me if my wording is all over the place, i havent been very elegant in my words Lately, but i am always down to talk about specific shit involving vash and wolfwood,

if we're just talking physical pain, yeah, i think they feel pain normally!

For Vash, he is the master of repression throughout Trimax, so I think naturally, he keeps a strong face no matter the level of hurt, whether on the outside or inner. It's just in his nature to not allow others to worry about him by pulling through with a fake smile or in some cases, he feels like he deserves the pain inflicted on him so even if he's getting pulverized to shit or threatened against his life, he'd default to a silence as opposed to screaming in agony that might make people think he isn't feeling anything. It's probably also second nature for him to no longer yelp or cry at pain after the amount of years he's spent getting hurt, but i think this only applies if he isn't emotionally involved in a fight (which is rare, but it happens in ch. 38).

In terms of physical pain, he seems to feel it like how regular humans do. I've thrown together some examples where he goes owchie owchie owchie that aren't too spoilery:

The Emilio scene is kind of why I don't think he's just playing up the theatrics of feeling pain, though I do think he would on some occasion, especially since he roleplays with children all the time. Verbally saying "ow ow ow" could potentially be an instinctive reaction too or maybe a source of comfort. But yeah!! I think Vash has always been able to feel pain and it's not like being a plant has lessen his ability to do so. Any resilience built is tacked on due to him being alive for 100 years and being a guy with a clear painted bullseye on his entire figure that ends up getting him shot and scarred.

In the end, the pain that gets to Vash the most will always be on an emotional level rather than physical, but Vash is such a genuine person and so present when it comes to other people that even if it's a pain he can take, it'll still hurt him terribly in more ways than one.

For Wolfwood; I think in general, those under the Eye of Michael have a strong resilience to dealing with pain due to the regen potions and the amount of training forced on them. I don't think we ever get the full description of what exactly those in EoM endured throughout their younger years, but we saw WW get shot at an early age in chapter 12 and we can assume it happened more than once. Over and over again until he won't even flinch against it just like how killing without hesitation was attempted to be drilled into him. I don't really know how it works scientifically… but I fully believe that he's mostly numbed to the physical sensation of it and it's the psychological part that gets to him more. Wolfwood himself is a naturally skilled fighter too, not that that really has anything to do with his dealing with pain, but I think his focus and attention on a battle and his stubbornness to win kicks an adrenaline that allows him to ignore the pain.

Though, his body also gets sore and tired just like any regular human does and there's this instance where he goes owie too:

(While NOT as much as Tristamp WW does where he's cracking a cold one every goddamn minute, I do think Trimax WW has gotten used to taking regen pots and thus, can afford to be careless and not give a damn.)

So, physically, technically in canon, they don't really have anything that specially makes either of them unable to feel pain, but just as you said, they're incredibly resilient. And ultimately, the both of them are affected emotionally/psychologically that hurts them more than the physical aspect of it, considering how physical pain is almost a daily chore for them to deal with (Vash being hunted for sport for majority of his life + Wolfwood being involved in experiments/killings for majority of his life.)

I think Trigun in general, while showing physical pain being a strong factor of hurt for regular people like us constantly seeing civiilians get beat up or shot, it tends to boil down to the multiple varieties of pain when it comes to those who deal with physical pain often (Gung Hos, Vash, EoM members).

I didn't know where to put these comments but here are extra thoughts:

They're both evidently really good at hiding their pains or any mark of vulnerability. They both could have a hole in their chest and go days without anyone else noticing so long it isn't killing them.

They're both pretty reckless during battle, but I think for Vash, he already tries to avoid violence at all cost and thus, do in a roundabout way lessen his own chance of getting hit in hoping to not stir that violence against another. As a result, I think Wolfwood can be way more reckless and ends up getting hurt more unnecessarily as a result of it.

They both are capable of healing at quick rates so I'm sure that allows the pain to feel more temporary, less of a risk to sustain, and to further hone in not caring too much about getting shot. That only applies for themselves individually though because every time they see each other get hurt, they're always so so worried despite knowing the other will be fine.

i'm pretty sure i repeated myself like 800 times, but i hope this Answered the question SFGMSDKGSMDKH i also tried to be vague enough in my wordings and focus only on the beginning-ish of trimax so to not spoil! i hope u enjoy ur reading of it!!

[quietbluejay]

Vengeful Spirit 1

(sample bits here) so Russ wants Loken to go back to Horus and figure out his weakness

lol, lmao even

this is some flavour of dramatic irony

for a hot second i forgot about the mechas and thought this was a dude ew gross our knight pilot is married to his sister, who is a chaos cultist knight pilot dude is hunting these giant predators that ate 300 people yikes there's one survivor

YIKES

and knight pilot dude finally has the chance to kill his father yay he's now in charge of molech

horus is now

mcneill would like us to remember horus' many muscles

o w o note from future bluejay: what was UP with all the references to murder what am i missing

horus is still horus you know i keep forgetting that it's not actually canon that his soul got yeeted but this book is making it clear it was just bad writing uhhhhhhhh

ohhh i don't like this at all also this horus definitely has a more casual way of speaking than before Vengeful Spirit's Horus would say fuck were it not for the unhinged ratings that allowed waves hand at so much stuff but no swearing

oooo 13th legion on molech given they're on the other side of the galaxy (…right???) i don't think they've been in contact with guilliman oh, nvm, it is in ultima segmentum

McNeill: "oriental inscrutability" is a genetic trait dude

okay a dude is climbing a cliff

after a certain point, the purple prose cannot be contained i guess so this is an ex-librarian blood angel

oh wait we had a POV switch this was written very confusingly okay so ex-librarian is muscle dude's boss and is tired of his shenanigans muscle dude just really wanted to go diving oh wait nvm muscle dude is the captain there was more purple prose describing the dive managed to do icarus comparisons without actually saying icarus

also mcneill at it again misusing terms they're not mendicants, mendicants are wandering these guys have a fixed abode

oh??? another iron warrior loyalist?

lmao oh okay so there were SM from all the legions stationed on terra and they locked up all the ones from traitor legions? i guess? and let out tubal because he passed the screening

why couldn't we get this guy's story instead of Garro

do the heresy-era space wolves ever do anything that isn't appointing themselves commissars

okay so what are the sons of horus up to

ah human sacrifice at least he's not naked this time

ah yikes ah they're going to turn gerradon into a twiceborn i always forget what the other canon term for this thing is ah daemon is here lmaooo

incredible

uh uhhhh suddenly the daemon being a smartass is less funny

owo time for emperor and malc to speak

malcador: btw the dark angels are heading to ultramar emperor: not terra??

i'm still thinking about that AU where the civil war ends up three sided but not because Guilliman wants it to

having had multiple primarch POVs….i don't know whether to laugh or to cry

sjdkhflsdfh the Emperor may not have ordered Russ to descend on Prospero with fire and sword and completely remove the chances of having any decent force of SM psykers for the Imperium, but he's very cool with it

man sucks to be Jaghatai do you think the Emperor ever got over him going "ok, well, that's stupid" about the Imperial Truth ah Lucius even when he's not here, he's here and you know what past me was so on the nose with that loyalist!lucius AU

as you do

oh no it's gonna be mersadie loken: this is the most depressing place i've been in my life

mersadie was put in the worst prison ever despite managing to escape from the murder of the remembrancers just because she was on horus' flagship

to be continued!

[gildeddlily]

finally reading Fifteen and not only analysis ab it on tumblr

alr, I watched those episodes a million time but a lot of things weren't clear and I don't trust bones with their light novel's adaptations. it was... the fight against Rimbaud was like longest than everything, and they cut off a lot of parts of it, but also of the interactions between skk. I understand it but it's a pity alr?

i love him. no fr dark era dazai pisses me off (try to ask me why idk, I just do), agency dazai is alright, but fifteen Dazai is my heart and soul and I love him with all my heart. stormbringer Dazai too, I just love so much how he is...

...alr I already knew like everything that was ab to happen in this, cause I watched the anime and read analysis ab the light novel on tumblr and other social, but to see it written down like this hurts. I just love the way Asagiri writes, it's so forward and simple but so enjoyable and sad I'm gonna spend all my money on his light novels

CHUUYA IS HERE CHUUYA IS HERE MY DARLING IS HERE btw Chuuya is perfect in every single era. In every panel he's in, in every light novel he's even slightly nominated, in everything. even when he has his little twenty seconds appearance, I just can't help myself. "-a person that had personality"... good luck bby

are they flirting? Yes? No? yes they are shut up (I can hear chuuya's voice actor saying that, and that intonation is like the "aww poor baby want me to pick up where he left" IT IS DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF) and reading fifteen was so beautiful cause it clashes so much with innocent/sweet potato!chuuya that a lot of people seems to love. he's just menacing and hurting and killing people every two sentences

the anime really isn't enough (here he's talking about Mori after he admits he has killed the former boss: Mori's always referred as a demon, shinigami, the evil itself- and a non-human who act as such and knows it, and the connection to what Dazai thinks about himself is making me cry)

HE JUST DIDN'T yeah he thinks shit like "he's the most vicious thing on heart" and then calls him a timid street doctor

...he didn't just him a fairy did he?

yeah bud he kinda is a child. like, you're one too, so admit it and go on with your life. I just have to hug that chaotic energy chuuya has.

it's a pity it was cut, cause it would have been hilarious. and scary but still hilarious (chuuya's so dramatic and for good reasons) (dazai wants to go home) (no alr he wants to die but wait a little cm)

...what is this kafka love

It's so sad, and kinda beautiful too, the way he acts so freely when he's fighting anyone, and when he's with dazai. He's known him for like a day and already is more honest with him than his so called family. (chuuya beliefs about what his role is are heart shattering, and I'm gonna found another shirase hate club. he pissed me off a lot when I read stormbringer but now he really is making me rip off my hair)

dazai was manipulating all of them from the beginning, and in this scene he's also doing everything only to make the Sheeps betray Chuuya, but I don't think this was necessary (the "is that not enough/he's your friend"). he definitely knew that they wouldn't have understood and ignore that and straight up leave Chuuya behind, but he said that for a reason, like he was testing them- and chuuya. he said it was fun to mess up with him- and chuuya sees his family refusing to trust him and a guy he hates understanding him better than them, and I guess it doesn't feel good

he's actually being genuine!? he already is a bastard manipulator, but I like to think that 15!dazai was more honest and childish. not really was, more act, tried to impersonate that part of him.

this is Dazai, at the idea of pranking Chuuya by making him fall in a pool of mud and pour flour over him

that's dazai right after he killed the GSS man from the oh so famous clip where he shoot him like five times. and this is dazai around chuuya, in the like two days the got to know each other. is the opposite thing. he laughs, he smiles, he fucking flushes at the idea of making fun of him.

this is hilarious. asagiri actually is a comedy master. I laughed. and I'm not ashamed.

gay behaviour. homosexual tendencies. romantic tension. he had to fight himself not to blush (not really but inwardly awkward 15!dazai is my life)

"do you trust me?" it's their line, and theirs only. like even if you don't want to see them as a romantic couple, the trust they have in each other is so beautiful. everybody always talks about chuuya trusting dazai with corruption, but dazai's survival in dead apple was assured by chuuya himself, so our guy just put (another time, remember the hostage situations) his life in chuuya's hands trusting him? trust is their thing, and you people saying that it wasnt the same after dazai's deflection, fuck no. they were the same, with the rich-girl-act that really was the "are we alright?" silent question, and the we-are-partners-even-tho-i-said-ex

CHUUYA'S LAUGHING AT DAZAI'S DOG JOKE CAUSE HE ALSO ADMITS THAT HE WANTS TO LIVE he's so precious and even tho I'm the number one fan of dazai-fell-first-and-harder I love Chuuya starting to care, starting to get used to dazai.

and more of this. asagiri is screaming at us that chuuya basically saved dazai. or at least, he made the life mori constricted him to carry on more enjoyable (in the anime they switched the sentences, chuuya saying "don't tell me what to do" but this is actually better)

I love rimbaud, my bby is doing all of this to know what happened to verlaine and it's so cute (the fact that they completely cut off verlain's name and just left the "I killed him with my own hands" says a lot ab bones future plans ab stormbringer and asagiri introducing him in the central plot. it's not gonna happen guys or the anime only are gonna get their brains blown up)

chuuya struggling with his humanity since he was able to understand the concept itself is canon, and I wanna die

"if they were with eachother they didn't have anything to fear" and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. verlaine and rimbaud were the original soukoku. fuck zskk, we hate mori and we love the cold man and his made-in-a-laboratory boyfriend (they had a (fr terrible) relationship in real life, so asagiri is telling us something. that they're just canon)

now, to end this, just more screens of chuuya surprising dazai (with official illustration too), the most canon and pretty thing of this light novel after the love confession ab rimbaud and verlaine

im done

[det2x-fanfic-dump]

A Youthful Marriage is a Choice

(A/N: Cross-upload of a fanfic chapter in Ao3. I just wanted to also post it here because I want to share and have this be a part of what I do here. I'm somehow proud of this.)

Ghost Bride 23: A Youthful Marriage is a Choice

“YOU DO?!” Everyone asked in unison. Everyone but Eliza asked with confusion and shock in their faces and voices. 

“I thought you don’t want to be courted and you’re forced to do all this?” Trey asked, still frozen. Everyone has their eyes on her. Yuki squirmed in her seat, trying to find a comfortable way to sit but unfortunately, she can feel her hands in her gloves very sweaty.

Yuki flinched after hearing that question. With Asmo leading, she realized that maybe her initial plan of seeking Asmo for help will make things worse especially for Mammon and Deuce, who aren’t the most great at charming brides, are with him and especially knowing that the reason Eliza still continues this courtship thing is for her own sake.

Yuki is very sure, no one will change Eliza’s mind into having another prince other than Idia.

“Um…I…ahem…change my mind, that’s why.” She began stuttering avoiding eye contact. She can feel her heart beating. She really can’t afford to be found out. “Umm..I realized that maybe Princess Eliza is right. Maybe my age is not ideal for marriage anymore once I reach sixteen.”

“You’re fifteen years old, ” Leona began. “You shouldn’t be saying that.”

“I’m pretty sure except for Idia all of us aren’t even married yet let alone engaged.” Azul said frankly.

They are right. Yuki cleared her throat again. “I’m just worried that I’m not pretty enough when I reach eighteen.” She tried again, choosing a random age number.

“Psh..Oh please Yuki, I’m  still pretty and I’m eighteen.” Vil said, rolling his eyes.

 That is true.

“But I’m not like you Vil-senpai…what if no one likes me in the future?”

Yuki was cringing internally as she pretended to be worried about being pretty.

There was silence. Every Night Raven boy looked at her with a frown as if seeing through her bad attempt in acting.

“Yuki…you’re still in a transition between a human child and an adult,”  Lilia said. “You may not be a fae to live to an age of thousand but I’m sure someone will like you even if you’re sixty.”

“Uh…Uhmm..hmmm.” The prefect was speechless at hearing that advice. A thought of being single at age sixty appeared in her head when Lilia said that. She would always think that instead of cats, she is surrounded by her immortal friends. However, if there is a world where she lived normally without any magic influence, Seeing herself as an old woman surrounded by cats isn’t a bad future but it does make her heart sink knowing she would die single.  

“YUUUUKIII!!!” She heard Mammon cry and Asmo calling to her excitedly and before she knew it, she found herself cradling Asmo’s upper torso and Mammon slapping her left arm and leg with his paws. Asmo laid his back on her lap while his legs carried most of his weight.

“If you want to get married, let’s get married now!” Mammon declared.

“Oh Yuki, you’re so adorable, I would faint, catch me in your lovely arms.” Asmo sighed with affection as he dramatically put his forearm against his forehead.

Yep…this is the reality she’s been imagining for the rest of her life.