#although maybe tomorrow bc my head hurts so much

[salted-caramel-tea]

i have so many thoughts about bee and puppycat but i don’t know anyone else that likes it so bear with me while i ramble about how i’m feeling about the story rn

right i’ve watched lazy in space the whole way through about 6 times now trying to figure shit out and i think i have more questions than when i started .

let’s just . so puppycat is the space outlaw that was made very clear multiple times from the very first episode . the sleeping lady that was thought to be the jellyfish princess in the original youtube series is now violet, the space outlaws .. friend?? since childhood . cardamon is violets son. the island belongs to violet

bee never ages . bee got sick presumably as a child . as a result she was made a cyborg by her dad who is still alive ?? but only connects with her through the music box on her birthdays and when she needs fixed . puppycat has known bee and her dad for most of bees life .

the song said that the princess and the warlocks were after the space outlaw. the princess was killed in the first episode and the hands that follow bee and puppycat throughout their temp work are the warlocks which we found out in like ep 8 i think that’s the earliest i can remember

the stuff in the lake is said to belong to bee . pretty sure that’s all bits and pieces for puppycats ship.

i have so many questions

where is bees dad and what is his connection to puppycat, bee obviously acquired him in the first episode for a reason and as the episodes go on we learn that they’ve known each other for years, but what happened for bees dad to find him???

the hair kind of reminds me of ,, the kid (i can’t remember if he was given a name or not) ,, in the recovery team . which would also explain how cardamon has the same smiley face hammer . and also why bee gets the ‘candies’ from her dad every year and now the child said he wanted to use the candy to ‘make something better’ and soon after splitting the candy in half just like bee does when she gets them on her birthdays . and why young bee looked so much like the kid and why violet says they need to get bees dad to clean up the mess .

upon reflection i have decided the kid is definitely bees dad . i may have been a little slow with that one

wait hold on ,, was that even the princess or was it the space outlaws teacher from that one sequence in the flashback episode . if so why was she there and why did she take the space outlaw / princess story personally

anywya . what happened to bee . obviously she stopped aging because she’s like made of fucking metal now but there were previous clips of her as a young child and a baby .

what happened to violet and cardamon?? why have they been asleep for so long ?? how did cardamon wake up ??? why did they go back to sleep ?? who is cardamons dad ????

what happened to the recovery teams ship for it to end up so broken and seemingly part of the island that grew around it ???? how long has violet been asleep . will puppycat become the space outlaw again ????? how do violets tears work ????

what about the multiple bees at the end??? all 5 make up the physical bee but how??? is there any connection to the multiple puppycats in bees dream sequences ??? are they going to be able to fix bee ??? they’re leaving the planet but where exactly are they going ??? what about the warlocks ????

i have so many thoughts about this show but i’m tired and i have a rlly bad cold so i need to take a break from staring at the screen

[navstuffs]

Hello, first of all, YOUR WRITING IS GOD’S WORK, second of all, I need a second part of “I know it’s thick”, bc that took me out 💀 It was fucking fantastic. And last but definitely not least, you seem very sweet, and like an amazing person, keep up the good work 🥰💕👏✨

"I know it is thick." - Part 2

Pairing: Boss!Carlos Oliveira x GN!Reader

Summary: It is thick, and now you know it.

Warnings tags: SMUT SO MINORS DO NOT INTERACT PLEASE, blowjob (m receiving), public sex, under-the-desk blowjob while jill is in the room, porn with feelings (sorta), carlos always brazilian in my fics (foda-se capcom ESSE HOMI É DO BRASIL), translations at the bottom

Author's Notes: ANON YOU ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!! the idea came to me while reading your ask and i was like WHY NOT? again, bear with me since smut is still a constant work in progress. also thank you so much for your kind words and requesting with me, i hope i deliver! <;3 @cerezzzita aqui miga 💖

part 1 | my carlos's masterlist

You would never have guessed you would end up like this. You see, after sending that text message, you thought you would have been fired or sued for sexual harassment within Carlos's rights.

Not that by late Friday night, you would be doing extra work. And by that, it means your legs spread apart, holding yourself back in the cabinets of the stockroom as your boss Carlos pounds into you, his big hands holding your hips with such strength it would probably hurt tomorrow. Not that you cared: since this whole thing started three weeks ago, you have discovered you had muscles that ached that you didn't even know existed.

As Carlos's ball hit against your ass, the slapping sound sounding pornographic to your ears enough to drive you crazy, you hold onto the cold shelves, your legs barely keeping you steady. Every thrust he gives inside you is more powerful than the other, seeming to reach deeper into you. It had to be that thick cock, you thank mentally. 

"Are you close?" Carlos wonders, and you imagine his bare ass looks delicious, his social pants on the floor.

You moan a pathetic yes and beg Carlos to touch you, and his hands find you, jerking in that delicious way only he could do it. It is unfair how well Carlos knew your body, although this only started a couple of weeks ago.

Three weeks since you stayed late and found out it was really that thick and you could barely fit in your mouth. Three weeks since this man gave you the best orgasm of your life. Three weeks doing extra work time.

With the way he is rubbing you, you don't take long to cum, biting your lips and closing your eyes to hold back a moan. Carlos gives you two final thrusts before you hear him muttering a curse in portuguese as he cums deep inside your walls. You stay silent for a moment, just the sound of your breaths before Carlos pulls out of you, his semen slowly dropping out of you.

You take a second to straighten yourself, your back hurting (it seems you are taking another ibuprofen tomorrow), when you feel Carlos pass a cloth between your legs, cleaning you gently.

"Oh, mhm, thanks?" You say unsure, and he smiles, giving you his handkerchief, with his initials sewn on it.

Carlos stares at you, wanting to say something. You are a little worried about it might be: yes, what you are doing is wrong, and you both know it. You are worried Carlos might want to end this sooner than later; you know he will have to. Or maybe he will finally invite you out? Maybe, you will end up fucking Carlos in a proper bed, not on top or under his desk.

"I will see you later, then." Carlos doesn't wait for your answer, and you ignore the pain in your chest, his handkerchief just the memory he left on you (along, well, with his cum). Again, this would have to end someday, right? It was just sex.

Two days later, you are under Carlos's desk a little after everyone leaves. You see, you went in there to end it all before Carlos could but, somehow, ended up with you on top of his desk, his head on the middle of your thighs. The things Carlos could do with his tongue were skills out of this world, and suddenly you can't remember what you wanted to do here.

You just didn't want him to stop.

So now, you are just repaying for the multiple orgasms from earlier, you tell yourself as his thick cock hits the back of your throat. It had nothing to do with the fact that you loved sucking him, the sight of his strong and hairy tights, hearing Carlos beg for your name, and how this powerful man seemed to melt in your arms because of you.

There is a sudden knock on Carlos's door, and you both seem to freeze. You look up, and Carlos gives you an urgent look, his eyes pleading for you to stay shut. "Please don't say come in," you beg mentally, but the door opens before Carlos can say anything, just with enough time to pull out of your mouth.

"Oh, I am so glad you are still here." Carlos's partner and your other boss, Jill Valentine sounds pissed. Carlos immediately pushes the chair into you, completely hiding your body, causing his dick to get close to your lips.

Jill vents about the challenging project the whole team has been working on, and for your relief, she doesn't pay enough attention to Carlos. Carlos gently tries to keep your head away from his cock, but you don't move. When he looks down in panic, you would have laughed if you could because Carlos knew exactly what was going through your mind.

When you test by licking the tip of his cock Carlos has to hold himself back against the chair, Jill still doesn't seem to notice. You try again, this time swirling your tongue around it, and Carlos curses.

"Puta merda."

"Did you say something?" Jill wonders, and you hold back a laugh.

"Puta merda this project huh, Jill?"

Jill continues her rant as your head goes down into Carlos's cock, slowly and torturous. Your boss has to hold himself into the table, his knuckles turning white as a low whimper dies down in his throat. His hands look for your head, you don't know if to pull you away or push you more down, but you don't stop.

"....and I am telling you, if this doesn't get solved by the end of the week, I swear I will cancel this whole deal!"

"Puta que pariu!"

"Well, I am glad you agree with me!" Jill exclaims, slamming the table. She finally looks at Carlos, who is sweaty, his chest rising up and down as he bites his lips. 

"Carlos, are you okay? You look feverish."

"I-I am fine, Jill. All good. Just sh-sharing your frustrations, that is it."

Jill thinks she heard a strange, slurping noise after Carlos says that, but the sound stops. Her phone rings before she can ask what it is, and she groans, frustrated.

"You know, we shouldn't work this late. Life isn't just work, you know?" Jill expresses, before leaving his office, waving goodbye.

You can hear the door closing, and Carlos roughly pulls out of your mouth. You gulp, anxious, wondering if you finally took too far and Carlos will end it all, when your boss's face appears under the table to stare at you, full of desire.

"You want to play like that? Fine. Let's see how long it takes for you to gag on my cock." Carlos' voice is low and threatening, bringing chills all over your body, especially your heat.

"Challenge accepted, boss."

Puta merda = Holy shit

Puta que pariu = Holyfucking shit

[chris-continues]

Drinking you in,

A college student, Nai Saverem, acts a bit out of character. But maybe it truly is just him acting on his thoughts, or the random impulsivity of the night.

A smidgen of angst bc intoxication and saying yes DOES NOT EQUAL CONSENT hashtag facts

Inspired by my friend @yakulting ‘s Nai art! Check the post out here

It was a delightful sight, really.

Nai Saverem, your nervous, nerdy, reserved studying partner with a drink staining his cheeks and jaw, dripping down his jugular and clavicle and down to his open shirt. His lips were drenched with the substance. It’s in your best interest he doesn’t get severely drunk tonight, as you’re going to be the one handling his admittedly cranky ass tomorrow morning.

“Hey- hey, cool it with the drinking. I don’t want you getting hurt.” You walk to see him on the couch, tipsy Vash amused sitting beside him and poking his cheek as Nai waves his hand away. Parties like these usually weren’t his scene, and yours either- the crowd it attracted, the overstimulating noise and really shitty taste in music wasn’t to your liking, but it was meant to commemorate your survival after exams.

And you wanted to spend as much time with your friends and Nai as much as you could, so why not?

“Mmm..” he groaned, head tipped over the back of the couch as he lazily raised the bottle to his lips once more. “Make me,” he sneered, a turn to his lips as he smirked at your bewildered expression.

“I’ve got to have someone to complain to about how this party was mediocre at best, now come on!-“ you swiped the bottle from his hand, his fingers enclosing around your wrist and pulling you towards him.

You’re straddling Nai. You’re straddling Nai. You’re straddling Nai.

His hand drove into the small of your back and pushed you further into him, your body stiff as he took the bottle. Douchey tactic, sleazy tactic, getting you flustered in favor of a drink.

“Dude- seriously?” You tried to tug the drink away and it spilt the couch and your hand, it’s contents no longer neatly kept in the bottle. Not that they were beforehand, considering the damp state of Nai’s shirt and neck. The music boomed around you two, although it didn’t seem to affect him in his dazed state, pulling the drink closer and in return, shifting you in his lap. It felt fucking embarrassing and unprofessional in comparison to your usual greetings, gifting each other salutations and banter with fun conversations of the most random topics of passion you two oh so intensely harbored.

Well, you suppose you could say this was a type of passion. A lot more debaucherous kind of one.

His alluring, hooded gaze looked up at you, frost blue eyes peeking through his snowy lashes. Fuck, even when he’s wasted he’s gorgeous. Unfair.

“And why,” he clears his throat, a breath escaping him, “why do you care so much? You fret over me, and it isn’t your,” hiccup, “Duty to watch over me.” Fair. Very fair.

“..because..” he won’t remember tomorrow, right? “Who else watches over you?”

“This idiot.” His head gestures lazily to Vash, no longer beside him but dancing amidst the crowd. It’s hard to miss him with his bright clothing and recognizable height. You scoff, “As if he won’t be severely hungover tomorrow.” He always bit off more than he could chew.

“I’m your.. your friend Nai. Let me take care of you.” Your voice is soft in comparison to your prior statements, the words feeling far too vulnerable to be tossed into the air of an open room such as this, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Not when he’s like this.

His hands on your waist tug you closer once again, “Mm, ok.” Before his cool, alcohol imbued lips press against yours. The bottle he’s holding is pressed to your back, half of his hand grasping your back in the meantime. Menial traces of his tongue and the messy meeting of lips almost draws you in before the harsh press of the bottle tugs you into the reality of the situation-

“No, no-“ you shake your head adamantly as you pull away, “You’re drunk. No.” You reaffirm, breath shaky. Are you a shitty person for enjoying that? If he remembers, he’ll probably recoil in disgust at the memory and your person as a whole.

No! No, you’re not. He fucking twisted your words into something.. something they weren’t. Well, not that you didn’t feel like that- did you? But that definitely wasn’t what you meant in the moment.

“Just.. just stop, ok?”

His hands fall to his sides as he shoves the bottle onto the coffee table behind you, moving you out of the way to make his way to Vash. He probably plans on calling an Uber back to their condo soon, you think.

He gives you no acknowledgment as he leaves once again.

[theirishwolfhound]

Introductions :D

*In the process of updating!*

"Gentle when stroked, fierce when provoked."

"Maybe I need ta' be alone fer a while... jus' until I am... myself again."

I don't have much else to put so here is some info about Crow :) Enjoy

Some info on Crow:

He is a landscape painter and often draws in a small journal when he is on missions to paint later.

He was a Forest Ranger at the Wicklow Mountains National Park in Ireland.

He has a caffeine and nicotine addiction, and admits to it.

Despite being quiet and reserved he has so much energy in him that he has to fidget to keep himself calm.

Always has pretzels on him. No matter what.

Same for rubber bands. They're just in his pockets.

Says he dislikes sparring to avoid training with people he knows he'd have trouble beating.

Can speak English and Irish. He taught himself German and Scottish Gaelic in his ranger tower.

Loyal to his team no matter the cost, he will protect them with his life.

He has a high tolerance to alcohol and can down beers like there's no tomorrow.

Has a fake tooth where his lip scar is, lost the tooth when getting his head slammed into a shower floor— will occasionally wear a gold tooth when in his civvies.

Had tubal ligation a few years into being on testosterone.

Shameless whore, he's just quiet and knows when to not act up.

My name is Max and although I've had other blogs before, I have no idea how to get back into them. I mainly made this one for my AO3 account since it is a little hard for me to post pictures there and honestly Twitter(X) really ruins the quality of my photos, so here we are! I made this blog specifically for the character in this post. His name is Crow O'Neil and he is an Irish sergeant that has transferred into TF141. I am writing a fic with this character in it on AO3, I'll add a link somewhere, and I plan on adding more art here when I get the chance to do so.

'A Heart of Gold in a Sea of Green' is the name of my fic and is one of the first few times I actually am posting some writing. It is a polyship fic between Soap, Ghost, and Crow (I'm still debating on adding Price and Gaz atm, bc I love them the same). Mostly a slow burn despite my absolute desire to make these men kiss, along with other degeneracies that I chose to add. It's more so about the process of healing and learning how to move on from a loss, soo it's a comfort fic truly with occasional hurt mixed into it.

[not-that-blog]

I unlocked trauma tonight.

Really fucked up shit that honestly makes me feel so close to depression again just knowing it.

Years of therapy tools and techniques are paying off, but the saddest truth about being an adult is that, I know with 100% certainty that it doesn't matter that this horror hasn't yet impacted my view of myself or my self worth, it's just made my distain for a number of disowned and cut off family grow even deeper into a line of hatred, betrayal and honesty horror at how much they're fucking monsters who I once saw as the most amazing humans in my life but now they're not just cowards who enabled a monster, but actually willing participants in the monstrous movements themselves..... I shouldn't be left alone tomorrow because that won't last forever.

But even if by some miracle it does... it won't hold the weight of the ptsd from crashing down upon me in the daylight.

Right now the sleeping world is all that holds my peace.

I mumble the few prayers I've memorised in slight comfort, I take note of the feelings, name them, feel where they sit in my body, feel the discomfort and then relax and let it fade. Repeat mantras, walk myself through the motions of productively using my ability to maladaptive daydream to walk myself through safe spaces.

Try to stay grounded in who I am so I don't split and really settle myself so that it doesn't break me because damnit I am so so fucking close to having a complete fusion of this system and learning what it's like to be alone in my own brain and life and I will be damned if that fuckers betrayal that's already happened and done causes me to undo a decade of therapy work at becoming a functioning human being.

I was a system of at least 75.

Always, always being taken over and my life in shambles and constantly sabotaged and destroyed before it even had a chance.

There's now maybe more than 5, but most of the time it's just Gemma and I.

There's two of us that exist full time and the others are so close to being fused that I am disappointed when they front because although I love them dearly and there's a part of me that misses my life in our inner world... they should not exist and their existence is a sign of pain and suffering for forced survival because the only ones that exist that aren't Gem and I are trauma holders.

And little E, they're holding the last of my childhood trauma. Eliza is holding a lot of guilt and pain for my teenage years that honestly... I am not ready to touch and I am still more incredibly grateful than sad bc she's a ridiculously level headed trauma holder who also holds a lot of my hopes and dreams and religious trauma from the christian upbringing. And Cicely... when she splits off again when I am in trauma mode, she breaks my heart because she's the artistic director of my heart and soul and the holder of all the broken heartedness from lost potentialities and the way I wanted the world to be. She is my romanticism personified and fuck I love her and I hate when she shows up because if we split again and she returns it's like the sign our heart is so broken we actually lost our core connection to ourself and need to hold it separate to protect it.

Gemma is functioning through anxiety and the ability to keep control. I am everyday life and just pushing us through healing and being the host and accepting this is my reality and my life and my responsibility and I am host and it's my life and I owe it to that small child to give them a good life and a good world where they're safe and healthy and happy and truely themselves.

And I will be damned if the behaviour of a fucker who used to take every opportunity to terrify me and make me afraid and miserable is going to keep hurting me for the rest of my life.

I was the only child not given a biblical name.

But mum wanted to name me Naomi.

I intend to have my Hebrew name be Naom. (I was thrilled when looking at jewish baby name blogs to learn this was an option)

The (darker) humour is not lost on me that of all of us, I am the one who actually follows any of their names. Both given and chosen.

[swallowglass]

Apparently I've lost any semblance of self control I once had

[mythiccheroacademia]

What You Fight About

part 2

A/N: just something I thought about

Headcanon: what you two would fight about the most

Warnings: toxic behaviors, yelling, cursing, angst

Midoriya Izuku:

his absence

being the number one hero is demanding

it’s also been his dream since he could remember

you understood that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t frustrate you when he’d disappear for days at a time

izuku tries to balance his job and home life

but it isn't enough

~~~

You and Izuku don’t fight much. In fact, you never really do. You’re both so compromising that disagreements rarely happen.

But when your kid is involved, that complacency slips away. Even when it comes to one another.

“I’m done talking about this.”

“Honey, why won’t you just listen to me?” he begged, but the irritation in his tone gave it more sharpness than he intended. “[S/N] doesn’t need the tutor. It’s just the teacher.”

You began to pick up the leftover toys from floor more so to expel pent up energy rather than to simply clean. You scoffed, shaking your head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Excuse me?” Midoriya snipped. His eyes followed you as you discarded the toys and crossed your arms beside the couch, finally giving him your attention. “I think I know my own son, Y/N.”

Izuku cared so much for your child and you knew that. But that underlying message your brain processed within his words pissed you off.

“And you think I don’t?”

“I just don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.”

An incredulous laugh left your lips before they moved into a frown. “He’s failing 4th grade, Izuku. We can’t move him to a different classroom every time he gets a bad grade. At some point, we have to take responsibility! He needs the extra help!”

“You just don’t understand,” the hero muttered, running a hand through his hair.

What he said shouldn’t have set you off, but it did. Everything suddenly flooded your head. All the stress you had to deal with alone bubbled up your throat and exploded.

“No, you don’t understand!”

“Yes I do!”

“How!? You’re barely in his fucking life anyways!”

It went silent shortly after that.

The outburst felt good, but the aftermath made your squeeze with guilt. Izuku’s frown softened into shock before melting into something deeper than pain.

Once your words finally processed through your head, you immediately tried to take it back.

“Izuku, I didn’t mean that—”

“Yes you did.”

You thickly swallowed and averted your eyes to the floor. He was right. You did. You’d been wanting to say it for so long, but this wasn’t the way you planned to deliver those thoughts.

Your gaze moved back to your husband once he gathered his duffle bag and slid on his shoes.

“Baby,” you sighed, your voice much softer than before. It was almost insane how easily the anger left you. “Where are you going?”

You wilted with his next words. “I’ll stay over at the agency. To give you some space. We’ll talk more after we’ve both cooled down,” he sadly smiled.

Despite the hurt silver-lining his green eyes, Midoriya softly held your chin and kissed your forehead. Something he always did when your disagreements didn’t end on a good note. As if to reassure you that, even though he was upset, he still loved you all the same.

And that just made you feel worse.

“’Zuku—”

“Don’t worry about [S/N]. I’ll take him to school tomorrow.” He paused to look you in your eyes. “I love you, always.”

“I love you too,” you quietly resigned and watched him disappear behind the front door leaving you to let your head fall into your hands.

Bakugo Katsuki

his jealousy

bakugo is confident in many areas of his life

it’s one of his qualities that won you over

but he still had those tiny insecurities that showed up in large ways

aka losing you

and he had no idea how to handle it

~~~

The alcohol probably wasn’t a good idea considering Bakugo was already noticeably pissed on the way to the house party. But everyone assumed it was just another one of his moods he’d get over sooner or later. He wasn’t a drinker, but a beer or two usually loosened him up.

However, your friends looked at each other with worry behind the door to the room you two were in. Despite the party lights and booming stereo, they could hear the angry muffled yelling you two were doing.

You were 100% drunk, but you were 110% sure this man was telling you to stay away from your friend. Your best friend.

“If it’s one thing you have, it’s the audacity,” you sassily quipped.

“I’m not fucking playing around with you, Y/N,” Bakugo snapped with too much bite than you cared to hear. “I want you to stay away from that two-bagged eyed bastard!”

“You always do this! Shinsou’s my friend!”

The redness in his ears wasn’t only from the drinks as his nostrils flared with barely contained irritation. “Friend my ass. You didn’t see the way he was looking at you, and that fucker had the nerve to grab you in front of me!”

“He was moving me out of the way!”

“He fucking felt you up is what he did!”

You smacked your teeth, entirely done with the argument. You weren’t getting anywhere. “Now you’re just being delusional.”

Bakugo pinched the bridge of his nose and blew out in a desperate attempt to calm himself. A feat even he was surprised about considering the situation. He tried so hard to not be as explosive, to reign in his emotions, for you. But his jealousy burned hot within his veins.

“Y/N. I’m asking you, as your man, to put some distance between you and Shinsou,” he lowly warned.

Maybe it was the wrong thing to say, but the words flew out of your mouth before you could stop them. “Like hell I will. Hitoshi’s been here longer than you have by years. I’m not gonna drop him just because you feel insecure.”

That withered away any form of self-restraint Katsuki had left. He felt exposed and hurt. And dealt with that the best way he knew how.

His hazy brain clouded over with anger and he went on the defensive.

“I bet you want him.”

“What? No I don’t?”

“You’re probably sleeping with him behind my fucking back,” he dryly laughed. “Am I not good enough anymore? Is that it?”

You were quickly sobering up. “What the fuck is wrong with you!? Of course not! I’m not a cheater!”

“Then why won’t cut him off, damn it!?”

Your voices rose in volumes too high for comfort. The crackle in his palms didn’t scare you one bit, but it was enough for Kirishima and Mina to come in and try to separate you two.

You ignored their pleading and the two of your found each other in the other’s face.

“Why are you so jealous!?”

“BECAUSE HE’S TAKING YOU AWAY FROM ME!!”

“NO HE’S NOT!

“IT’S SO EASY FOR YOU TO DEFEND HIM AND PROBABLY JUST AS EASY FOR YOU TO SPREAD YOUR FUCKING LEGS—"

A resounding slap cut him short. That seemed to snap him out of whatever alcohol induced rage he was in. However, Bakugo only had a moment to register your expression of disgust before Kirishima pulled him away.

“Fuck you, asshole” was the last thing you said before Mina lead into the hallway.

Kirishima watched his friend’s breathing turn ragged with each puff.

“Come on, man. Let’s just—”

“FUCK!” Katsuki roared before throwing a nearby water bottle to the floor. He fisted his hair and clenched his teeth.

He messed up. Big time.

And as upset as he was with himself, he couldn’t help but be even angrier at the thought of who you’d run to first.

Todoroki Shouto:

how blunt he is

he was a bit socially inept and you loved him for that

but sometimes, you get frustrated

todoroki does too because 9 times out of 10 he doesn’t understand why

when you get angry, he completely shuts down bc he doesn’t know how to handle it any other way

and it didn’t help that he was petty asf

~~~

“Okay.”

You looked up and folded your lips in a tight line. It was the same monotone answer he’d been giving you all day and it was getting on your nerves.

“Sho, baby, can you at least try and act like you somewhat care about this vacation we’re planning,” you said as sweetly as possible.

Although you were annoyed, you understood that things flew over your boyfriend’s head sometimes and, hopefully, a little nudge would point him in the right direction.

“I’m listening, prince(ss),” he dimly responded.

He didn’t bother to look up from the papers he was reading at the table and it made you huff. Folding up the magazine, you just stalked your way out of the kitchen.

“You know what? Don’t even bother. I’ll do it myself.”

That made Shouto look up. His brows furrowed in confusion and he caught your hand before you could completely pass by him. Why were you suddenly upset? He told you he was listening.  

“Hey, wait. What’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asked.

You let him pull you in between his legs. He looked genuinely lost and it was enough to soften your exterior.

“I just feel like you don’t care sometimes,” you said, deciding to just be blunt.

“Huh?” he hummed. “What do you mean?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know…it just seems like you don’t have an interest in anything I have to say if it doesn’t involve hero work, your family, or something like that.”

Todoroki took offense to that. Of course he cared about what you had to say. He loved you. Just because he wasn’t gripping on to every word you spoke in mundane life didn’t mean he didn’t care.

There were ways to express his thoughts, but Shouto wasn’t always the best at gently doing it.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t agree,” he said.

You looked off to the side for a second before looking down at him. “Well that’s how I feel,” you retorted.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but you’re wrong.”

You watched him for a moment, waiting for him to explain himself. However, he just stared back at you as if there was nothing else left to say. The silence was sickening.

You snatched your hand out his grip. “Okay, Shouto,” you bit and left.

He hadn’t heard his first name in a while.

Your boyfriend dumbly blinked already feeling more lost. He didn’t understand why you were so angry.

He called Midoriya about it and was told he was being intolerant. The entire conversation honestly made him feel like an asshole and Todoroki didn’t like that at all. So he gave you some space before finding you in the kitchen again, this time equipped to right his wrongs—even though he still wasn’t entirely sure what he did.

He called your name once and instead of responding, you just kept going about your task. That sort of miffed him, but he tried again. This time, you hummed back but the tension behind it made him feel defensive for some odd reason.

“Can we talk about this morning?”

“What? Are my feelings suddenly valid to you now?” you sarcastically replied.

Todoroki raised a sharp brow at your attitude and decided he was over it already. Here he was trying to apologize, and you were being difficult. He wouldn’t fight with you over something so insignificant.

“Fine. When you’re done with your little tantrum, we can talk about this like adults.”

You’d never spun around so quickly. “Really, Todoroki?”

Last name basis. Petty.

But he was even pettier.

“Yes, really, [L/N].”

His half-lidded bored stare made your scalp prickle.

“Fine. Me and my little tantrum are gonna go somewhere and you can plan the vacation all by yourself like the adult you are.”

“Fine. I’d probably get it done faster anyways.”

You let out an offended gasp. “Fine!”

“Fine!” he tsked, crossing his arms.

You two looked away from one another and stomped out of the room in childish anger.

[unloved-cadillac]

May I request a scenario where Levi & y/n are sleeping together. At a dinner someone asks Levi about his love life & he mentions he’s in a relationship. Y/n thinks he’s talking about someone else, so when they’re in private she decides to end whatever is going on between them bc she doesn’t want Levi to cheat. So Levi has to spell it out that he was talking about her. (:

C/n: I like this. I like it a lot. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

A Secret Love. (Levi x Reader)

Soft lips pampered your neck with kisses as you straddled Levi’s lap. Your hands scratched his undercut, softly moaning at the feeling of his lips, and he moved away from your collarbone to view his artwork.

“You need to buy me more concealer if you’re gonna keep on doing that.” You chuckle and he looks at you. Your flushed cheeks and soft pants made him want to have you then and there. But he had a meeting in a few minutes and he called you in his office for a few seconds of shenanigans.

“Who said I want you to cover it up?” He shoots you a smirk and you roll your eyes. You plant a kiss on his lips and get up from his lap. You go to a mirror and fix your shirt before looking back at him. “Your meeting starts in five. I suggest you go before it starts.” You say and he gets up. “See you later?” He asks before he leaves and you nod.

You would think that you and him were together but that was so not the case. Levi and you had a strict contract about your relationship being only sex. The whole arrangement was just about relieving stress from the corporate business and trying to find some release. At first, everything was fine. Levi would call you to his apartment, spend a few hours there and you would leave. Then you started to stay over. And that turned into just hanging out.

Being his secretary, you always knew where he was and what he was doing. So if he called you into his office, 9 times out of ten, it’s for a quickie. That was it.

Until you started to catch feelings for him.

Each kiss he gave you made your heart jump and the way his hands roamed your body with more sincerity made you fall for him. He genuinely cared about pleasing you, something you weren’t accustom to since most of the jerks you dated last three thrusts and pulled out leaving you unsatisfied and annoyed.

You sat by your desk as Levi went for his meeting, waiting for him to come back. The day was slow and the only thing that he had planned was this big meeting.

Two hours later, Levi comes back to his office with his colleague, Erwin. Erwin was Levi’s childhood friend and now that he was in a similar business position as Levi, they started to see each other at meetings.

“Ms L/n. How lovely to see you again.” Erwin greets and shakes your hand. “Mr Smith. Likewise.” You smile and glance at Levi. “Say, tomorrow night there’s going to be a dinner with many business people. I’m going, Levi’s going and I will love it if you joined.” Erwin says with a smile and you look at Levi. As much as you two had a secret “affair”, he was still your boss. “Uh, I’m going to have to check with my boss first.” You chuckle and Erwin looks at Levi. “Oh, Levi isn’t going to be a pain and not let you come. It’s at the Rose House Restaurant down on Main Street.”

Your eyes widen at the name of it. That was one of the biggest, most expensive restaurants in the city. You would have to book a reservation at least four months prior.

Erwin laughs at your reaction. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you there, Y/n. See you, Levi.” He waves at Levi. “Later, Eyebrows.” Erwin disappears into the elevator and as soon as it descends you feel lips on your neck and arms around your waist. “If you wanted to go that shitty restaurant, you could’ve just asked.” He mumbles and you giggle. You turn in his arms and he lifts you onto your desk, settling in between your legs. “Do you want to go? Honestly I’m contemplating on going but if you want to, we’ll go.” He whispers and you nod. “If it’s not a problem?” He scoffs and kisses you as his hands start to roam. “You’ll never be a problem.” See, it was things like that that made you fall hopelessly in love with him. It sucked because you knew it wasn’t true.

~~~~

The next night, you checked your dress and make up for the umpteenth time and finally decided that you were ready. A simple long black dress with a slit up until your upper thigh with thin straps that crossed against your back made you look like a million bucks.

Your phone dinged and you saw that Levi was outside. You quickly grabbed your purse, checked your lipstick and left the apartment. You walked down the stairs and Levi’s eyes widened. You saw the change in his demeanor and you bit your lip as you twirled around, making him see everything. “What do you think? Not bad for a last minute.” You chuckle and he presses his lips against your hand, like a prince.

“You..look beautiful, Y/n.” He whispers and you don’t know if it’s the car lights or your imagination, but you thought Levi was blushing. You smiled and he opened the door for you and you jumped in. Levi sat in the drivers seat and buckled up. He started the car and a few moments later, laid a hand on your thigh.

It made your heart skip.

~~~~

The restaurant was as beautiful as you imagined. Maybe even better. Levi caught sight of the table and escorted you to it.

“Levi! You made it! Oh, Y/n. Looking amazing.” Hange exclaimed and you laughed. You weren’t expecting to see her here. “Hange?!” You say and she hugs you. “Surprised? Got back yesterday and decided to spend the day with my husband. Moblit says hi by the way.” You let go of Levi’s arm and sit next to her as Levi sat next to Erwin and his father. There were many other business men and woman there and although you were nervous, they were all lovely to talk to and Hange made you loosen up.

The night progressed from business talk to family to relationships. A very sketchy topic for you since you didn’t like to talk about it. There was one woman who was by Levi the whole night and you really tried not to be jealous. He wasn’t yours. So why did you feel the angry, green dragon of jealousy wash over you?

“Damn if I had you on my arm, I’ll never complain about anything ever again.” The woman slurs as she sipped her wine. Levi’s buttons were undone and everyone was relatively drunk so you were waiting for Levi to say “yeah. So let’s get outta here.” or something. Instead, something worse was said.

“Too bad I’m in a relationship.” He says and drinks the rest of his whiskey. Erwin, Hange and Erwin’s father snapped to him. “What?! With who?! Why didn’t you tell us?!” Erwin and Hange ask him and Erwin’s father pats him on his shoulder.

“What’s she like?” Hange asks and Levi groans. “As if I’d tell you.” His eyes glance to you. “Come on Levi! Tell us one thing, at least.”

Levi puts his glass down and clears his throat. “She’s beautiful. Witty and clever. She puts up with my shit and she’s special. Very special.” He says and Erwin smiles. You put your head down, staring at the liquid in your glass as if it held all the answers to the universe.

Levi was in a relationship? And he didn’t tell you? That means, this entire time, he was cheating. The thought made you sick to your stomach because as much as you loved Levi, you respected his unknown girlfriend as well and she didn’t deserve to know that her boyfriend had been banging his secretary for the past months.

“She sounds great, son.” Erwin’s father say and he nods. “She is.” She must really have made a special mark on his heart if he’s talking so much about her. You bite your lip trying to not cry. It hurt. It hurt like someone has stabbed your a thousand time and then proceeded to rip your heart out.

When it was time to leave, you kissed Hange and Erwin goodbye as waved goodbye to all of the people. Levi draped his coat over your shoulders and you froze. “Can only imagine how cold you must be.” He says and you nod. Weird. You always joked about everything and was so carefree so what was the change?

You and Levi walked to his car and before he could open the door for you, you opened it for yourself and sat inside. Levi pulled his eyebrows in, confused at your actions but he didn’t say anything. Rather he just went into the car and drove you home.

The entire ride home, you didn’t utter a single word. Not about the restaurant, not about the food, hell not even about him. Your mind was just trying to find a way to break this off in the calmest way possible.

When Levi parked outside your apartment, he turned the car off and looked at you. “You’ve been quiet all night, what’s wrong?” He asks and you breath in a big breath. “I think...we need to stop whatever this is.” You motion between the two of you and Levi’s heart stops. “What? Why?”

“Levi,” you look at him, dejected and tired, “you’re in a relationship and you didn’t tell me. It’s one thing to be doing this but she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. She sounds like a great girl, by the way. I hope you and her have a good life together.”

Before he could even get a word in, you take off his jacket and jump out the car. You walked up three steps before your arm was caught by a hand, turning you. You almost fell but Levi caught you. “You really are an idiot.” He whispers and you pull away from his shoulder.

“What?”

“I said that you’re an idiot. How can you say that you’re such a great girl and then leave without me agreeing with you?”

Your lips part and before you could say “what?” Levi pulls you in for a kiss. “It’s you, dummy. I was talking about you,” he murmurs against your lips, “you’re witty and clever. You’re the one who can piss me off and turn me on at the same time. You’re the one who can put up with my shit. You’re the one, Y/n.”

You look deep into his gunmetal eyes, flabbergasted and touched. “Wh-Why didn’t you say anything back at the restaurant then?” Levi scoffs.

“I wasn’t going to officially ask you to be mine in front of a bunch of unknown people. What if you rejected me?” He jokes and you kiss him. Again and again.

“Never. I’ll never reject you.” You softly say as he hums against your lips. “Be mine, Y/n.” “I was already yours.”

You stay enveloped in his arms for a while but then he lifts you up and carries you bridal style to your apartment.

“Now can I show you what you being in that dress did to me the whole night?”

——————————————————————————

“It’s only you who loves me like you do.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

[costellos]

❥ ┋ ❝ gojo & the touches that led up to your first kiss!

anonymous said: can i get cafune with gojo? his hair looks vvv soft 🥺

a/n: omg... it totally does... well, I hope you can live vicariously through this fic friend, bc there are plenty of instances where you get to touch Gojo’s hair! enjoy!!

tw: none.

ask game: one-word ideas for when you’re feeling stuck (closed!)

disclaimer: I’m anime-only, so apologies if my character interpretations aren’t accurate.

cafuné (portuguese, n.) - the act of tenderly running one’s fingers through someone’s hair.

the first instance was when you saw him without his blindfold for the first time. it was shortly after he was ambushed by Jogo. he’d stopped by your office to tell you the whole story, to ponder about how interesting the situation was. but before he could say so much as your name, you stopped him. “where’s your blindfold?” you asked. “eh?” he scrunched his nose. “that’s the first thing you think when you see me?” he was leaning against your desk at this point, arms crossed. despite the hurt comment and quizzical expression, Gojo was far from offended. he was curious. word spread fast on campus — surely you’d heard about what had happened. but no, you didn’t ask him about it. instead, you stood up from your desk, assuming your place right in front of him. with your own scrunched nose and furrowed brows, you took your fingers and raked them through his hair, pulling it back so that you could properly see his face. that pinched expression on your face melted into something warmer. Gojo with his hair down was a Gojo you hadn’t familiarized yourself with. that was something he would learn much later. but to see you be so forward, to feel your fingernails run themselves along his temples, made him feel a way he didn’t know was possible with you. “mm. much better,” you said at last. it was in that moment that Gojo thought about kissing you for the first time. yet this wasn’t the right place or time. that would have to wait for a different day. in the meantime, he wondered if you could feel his heartbeat through the pads of your fingers.

the second instance was while watching a movie. being one of the few instructors at Tokyo Tech, you’d invited him over to celebrate the end of exam season. have a few beers, shoot the breeze, the whole shebang. maybe it was the beer talking or maybe you just needed something to do with your hands. but while watching some Bruce Lee movie on Netflix, you made a rather odd demand: “sit on the carpet, I wanna try something.” being a jujutsu sorcerer meant putting a lot of faith in your peers. your life was constantly on the line, and at any moment, you had to be willing to give it up for the greater good. although this wasn’t a life-or-death situation, Gojo trusted you all the same. “oho? what for?” “just trust me.” so he did. he scooted from your couch to the space in front of you, positioning himself so he’d be beneath you. that’s when he felt your fingers run through his hair once again. you brushed through his white locks slowly, careful to not accidentally tug on any knots. with diligent fingers, you began separating his hair into parts of three, then twirled each part around each other. you were braiding his hair. “is the movie really that boring?” he joked. “nah,” you replied, “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now.” ...oh? for a while now? had you been thinking that intensely about touching him as he did you? Gojo didn’t reply to that comment. he... wasn’t even sure what to say, if he was being honest. he can read people well. he had to — a person in his position would’ve never survived this far without it. he was always one step ahead of everyone, calculating their intentions before they opened their mouth. this, though. this came out of no where. but being here, knowing that you were so close to him, that you wanted to be close to him... he didn’t mind that for the first time he can remember, he was one step back.

the third instance was right at a bus stop. it was 11 PM and no one was in sight. it had just started snowing. although there was a heat lamp above your heads, it was far too small to provide any sort of adequate warmth. “gaaah, it’s too cold for this!” you whined. “I thought buses were supposed to come every three minutes in Tokyo!” “wha—? you don’t actually believe that, do you?” “I-I mean! it sounded believable enough!” you look so cute bundled up in your jacket. you let Gojo do the honor of wrapping your scarf around your neck before you ventured into the harsh outdoors. maybe he should’ve wrapped it a little tighter because your shivering was painfully obvious. well. you clearly didn’t mind being close to him. and if you could be bold with him, he could do the same for you. “here, [Name]. stand in front of me.” the bus shelter was the kind that only protected you from the snow above. there were no walls, allowing wind to pierce through you with icy strength. however, because Gojo was taller than you and because the wind was coming from the east, he could easily block it off if you just stood in front of him. so you did as told. you stepped in front of your peer, and like that, you were shielded from the snow and the wind. it wasn’t enough to stop your shivering completely, but hopefully it made being outside a little more tolerable. “that better?” “y-yeah,” you replied. “but aren’t you cold, too?” “nope! I’m all good.” “...hm. you’re lying.” and once again, your fingers were in Gojo’s hair. like the first time you touched him, your nails slid across his temples to push those white locks away from his face. “your cheeks,” you continued. “they’re pink.” ...were they? ah. maybe they were. feeling your fingers in his hair again, your face just inches away from his; he couldn’t tell you if it was from the cold or from how close you were to him. both? maybe both. he didn’t mind either way. at this point, he’d given everything to you. his time, his love, himself. Gojo Satoru was always planning for the future. everything he did today would be to improve tomorrow. yet when he was with you, it felt that, even for a second in this dimly-lit shelter with a bus that was far too behind schedule, he could live in the moment. he would give more of himself to you if he could. and he did. that’s why he didn’t respond to you. that’s why he placed his hands over yours. and that’s why this was the moment where he finally decided to kiss you.

like this piece? here are some similar works! 🌑 🌒 🌓

[deanstead]

What The Hell

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Request by anon: don’t know if you’re going to see this, but could u write a jay halstead x reader inspired by what the hell by avril lavigne? if not can u put this ask out there for people to see? because i feel like it would be a really interesting dinamic bc jay is all like boy scouty~ and reader would just be like i’ll be a bit reckless for now because what the hell

Word Count: 1,234

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, fluff

A/N: Inspired by Avril Lavigne’s ‘What The Hell’. Really wasn’t sure about this haha so I hope this turned out okay! I wasn’t sure how to present Jay as boy scouty, so I hope you like this! Please hit me up with comments/asks/reblogs to let me know what you think!

---

So, what if I go out on a million dates You never call or listen to me anyway I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day Don't get me wrong, I just need some time to play

Jay Halstead.

You’d known him almost all your life and been in love with him for half of that.

Jay had spent less time with you recently - at first it had been just because of his work, a couple of missed dinners, a couple of missed drinks and you had been fine with it, you understood it. It was part of his job.

Then he had started to pull away, and you didn’t understand it, you were hurt by it. Every time it seemed like this was going somewhere, it didn’t, and you were sick of it.

What the hell.

So here you were instead, sitting in one of the hippest clubs in town on your third drink. Third complimentary drink, since apparently guys loved to buy girls drinks, especially in clubs like this one. You were getting tipsy which was your signal to get the hell out of here.

You stumbled out of the club as a familiar car pulled up, honking twice.

“Y/N!”

You looked up and there he was.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Get in, come on, I’ll take you home.” Jay said, leaning slightly towards you.

You shrugged and climbed into his car.

“Another night out? How much did you drink?” Jay asked, glancing at you.

You turned to look at him. “Since when do you care?” You slurred back at him.

Jay nodded, “Since always, Y/N. You’re my best friend, I’m looking out for you.” You looked at him a while more. “Uh-huh” you responded, looking back out the window.

The rest of the journey continued in silence. Jay took you home, walked you straight into your apartment, and tucked you right into bed.

---

By the time Jay had gotten home, it was two in the morning and he sighed, closing the door behind him and moving to the kitchen to get a beer.

Jay threw himself onto his couch and sighed. You were acting a little out of character recently, and he was getting a little concerned. You were suddenly out partying almost every other night, and the other nights you were on dates.

Dates with guys you had met at these parties, or clubs and bars.

Although he had never admitted it out loud, Jay was in love with you, and deeper than anyone could ever imagine. But he’d been trying to keep his distance. Both of you had always been close, but when Jay found his feelings for you getting too real, he’d backed off.

He’d thought about you a lot and carefully, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. He was sure you deserved someone better than him - someone who could spend all his time with you, someone who could bring you on dates without cancelling, someone who could come running to you whenever you called.

Yet what Jay didn’t know that doing this was unconsciously pushing you further and further away.

---

You sat in Molly’s drinking from your second bottle of beer, laughing at something this guy was saying. He was good looking and openly flirtatious, asking if you would let him buy you a drink.

You’d opted for a slow night today but that didn’t stop guys from coming to you.

“If not the drink,” he said, pushing a cocktail towards you. “can I maybe take you out for dinner sometime?”

“I’ll take the drink.” You smiled, watching him before continuing, “and I’ll think about dinner.”

Just as he slid you his number, you heard a familiar voice. “Y/N.”

“Call me.” The guy slinked away, winking at you.

Jay raised his eyebrows and you grinned. “Snagged a date.”

“Another date?” Jay asked.

You scowled at him. “I have to meet people to find the one.” You said, a little sarcastically.

Jay looked like he wanted to say something more but held himself back. Your eyebrows scrunched together as you waited for him to say it. “You’re being careful, right?” He asked. 

You felt the crush of disappointment. For a fleeting moment, you had thought that maybe, just maybe, he would tell you to stop, that he’d tell you something. But again, he didn’t.

You hadn’t realised you’d been staring at him until Jay cleared his throat. “I should go.”

You wanted to roll your eyes but stopped yourself.

What the hell.

“Yeah, I’m going to go too.” Jay looked quizzically at you.

“Not going to be a slow night after all.” You said simply, waving to him.

And again, Jay didn’t stop you as you disappeared out the door.

---

And so, it went on for a while more, you’d go out to clubs, get dates and get drunk. On days you were really drunk, Jay would appear, even without you calling. He’d take you home, nag you a little about being reckless but that was as far as it would go.

Until the day that you got a call from Kevin.

The caller ID had been Jay so you had picked up almost immediately.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Kev.”

“Kevin?” You asked, a little confused and a little worried. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, Jay’s just a little… drunk. Can you come and get him?” Kevin said from the other end of the line.

This was new.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” You responded, hanging up and heading straight for Molly’s.

Jay hadn’t been as drunk as Kevin had led you to believe but you still brought him home, sitting him onto the couch and going to get some water for him as well as a cold towel.

“Here.” You said, handing it to him, finding everything you needed in his apartment as if it was your own home.

“Y/N…” Jay whispered, looking at you, his cheeks still a little flushed. “I miss you.”

You smiled, “Yeah, Jay, I’m right here.”

“No, I miss you.” Jay whined. “I’m your best friend, why aren’t you hanging out with me?”

You shook your head. You forgot how cute he was when he was drunk.

“I just think you deserve better, does that mean we can’t be close anymore?” Jay asked.

You froze. “Jay, how drunk are you?”

He turned to look at you. “Drunk enough to let all this out but not drunk enough that I’ll forget this tomorrow.”

“I don’t want better. I want you.” You spat out.

Jay narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you drunk too?”

You shrugged. “No, I’m stupid.” You paused, “You don’t get to decide what’s good for me or better for me, you either want me or you don’t Jay. Stop being a damn boy scout and just tell me if you want me or not?”

Jay didn’t answer but he didn’t have to because he leaned over, pushing his lips against yours. The fireworks went off in your head as he kissed you, the kiss going deeper and deeper until he pulled away.

“You have a date tomorrow.” He said, his green eyes grazing over you.

“Not anymore, I don’t.” You said, looping your arms around his neck. “And if you ever try to decide stupid things for me again, I’ll kill you.”

Jay chuckled, bending down to kiss you again.

[sagemusesoutloud]

Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

[animatedarchives]

CHEMISTRY

— 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐎

author’s note: hi guys! this is based off of a conversation i had with @velvetfireworks​ about dozing off in class hehe ^^ it’s pretty cringey and cheesy but i thought it was cute :> enjoy!~

genre: fluff

warning: none, just school being sucky and some nerdy chemistry puns bc i love science

word count: 1.7k words

“Each carbon atom is sp3 hybridised and covalently bonded to four other carbon atoms to form a tetrahedral structure, making it insoluble in water and...”

I’m so tired.

The lecturer droned on and on in his awfully monotonous voice, his words going right over your head. You rubbed your face exasperatedly and sat up straight in your chair, trying your best to stay awake.

Maybe you should have gotten more rest last night. But how could you? Especially given all the assignments that were due this week. You groaned. Either way, you just wanted this class to be over.

Your eyes flicked to the clock mounted on the wall at the front of the hall, watching painfully as it ticked at an agonisingly slow pace.

Just… half an hour more…

You shook your head to will the sleepiness away, tightening the grip on your pen as you attempted to listen to the lecture once more. But the exhaustion from your allnighter last night was too much, and it fizzled out any determination you had to stay awake. Your body seemed to act against the pleas of your mind, and your eyelids slowly began to droop.

No! Need to... listen… to...

Your eyes eventually drifted shut and you felt instant relief wash over you. As much as you wanted to stay awake, you had no more energy to pry your eyelids apart.

Okay… Maybe just… five minutes…

You leaned back in your chair and gave in to your exhaustion, letting yourself be overtaken by sleep.

A few minutes passed and finally, you began to stir, your brain slowly starting back up again after your short nap.

Mmm, my pillow… So soft… Maybe I can sleep for a while longer— Wait.

Your eyes snapped open.

I don’t have a pillow.

You rubbed your face sleepily and assessed your situation, your eyes widening in horror as you realised you had ended up falling asleep on the shoulder of the person next to you.

“Oh my- I am so sorry!” you jerked away from them, the top of your head colliding with their chin.

“Ow-”

“SORRY SORRY SORRY, I’M SO SORRY!” you apologised profusely.

In your frenzy, you knocked your pencil case off your table, sending your stationery flying. You cursed under your breath and fumbled around, trying to get your things — and yourself — together. The stranger bent down and helped to pick up some of your pens, and although you were grateful, it deepened the guilt you felt in the pit of your stomach for causing them so much inconvenience.

“I’m so sorry,” you repeated again, turning to face him.

He chuckled. “For a smart girl, you sure have some limited vocabulary,” he said, approaching you and handing you back your pens. You scoffed at the backhanded compliment but kept your smile nonetheless.

“Thank you… uh…” you trailed off, not knowing how to address him.

“The name’s Kuroo Tetsuro.”

“Mine is L/N Y/N!” you smiled politely. “Thank you, Kuroo.”

You were now very much awake and able to take in his appearance, an opportunity you missed during the earlier commotion. He wasn’t dressed in anything too outlandish; it was rather simple honestly — a white tee, a black jacket, some black joggers with a red stripe going down the side, and matching red shoes to accentuate the pop of colour. His jet black hair was spiked up as well, but strangely, not all of it. For some reason, he allowed his bangs to fall across the right side of his face instead of spiking it up like the rest. It was unusual, but strangely... rather charming.

“It’s not very polite to stare, you know.”

You blushed at his comment and whipped your head to look at anything else but him.

“I- I wasn’t staring!” you denied, hoping your face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“Sure you weren’t,” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop smiling. Who was this guy? You’d barely even met him, yet you felt so comfortable around him. It was like you were naturally drawn to him. Attracted, even. You shook your head and cleared your throat, pushing those thoughts to the back of your mind.

“So uh, how much did I miss?” you asked.

“We just finished up the rest of this chapter on chemical bonding,” he replied. You groaned, dreading how much you’d have to study tonight in order to catch up on what you missed during the lecture. There was no way this could get worse.

And of course, just as you thought that, a dark splotch on Kuroo’s jacket caught your eye and you mentally slapped yourself as your eyes widened in embarrassment.

“Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is…” you said as you buried your face in your hands.

Confused, Kuroo followed your line of sight until it landed on a wet spot on his jacket, just below the curve of his shoulder — the very one you were sleeping on. He made a face and you had never felt more embarrassed in your entire life.

“Oh my gosh, please let me make it up to you! I’ll buy you lunch!” you sputtered out. You had to repay him somehow, not just because you’d used him as a pillow during Chemistry class but because there was now a huge spot of your drool on his clothes to show for it.

He chuckled at your flusteredness. “Lunch sounds great.”

He suggested going to his favourite food place, claiming it had the best grilled salted mackerel pike in the world. You agreed and followed him — it was only fair he chose where to eat after everything you’d put him through. As you neared the stall, you caught a whiff of the delicious grilled fish, causing your mouth to water and you licked your lips excitedly. The waitress greeted you at the entrance and motioned you to follow her inside as she led you to your seats.

“A table for two for the lovely couple,” she gestured towards the table. “Enjoy your date!” she smiled.

Your cheeks started to heat up and you shook your head vigorously at the misunderstanding. “N-no! This isn’t-” you tried to correct her but your protests fell on deaf ears as she was already walking away.

“Wow, do you not want to go on a date? You wound me,” he placed his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

“NO NO NO IT’S JUST-”

“Oh, so you do want to go on a date with me?”

“WHA- NO- I MEAN-”

“I’m teasing, kid,” he laughed and ruffled your hair. “Sit down.”

You let out a sigh as you both took your seats. You were a complete mess today. He didn’t seem to mind though. In fact, he seemed to find it pretty amusing.

You peered over your menu to look at the boy sitting across you. It was hard to believe you’d only met a while ago considering you were now having lunch at his favourite food place, talking like you were old friends. And you couldn’t help but feel something warm starting to bubble within your chest.

“Staring again?” he asked without even needing to look at you. You quickly snapped out of your thoughts.

“NO!” you retorted and lifted the menu up to cover your red face.

The two of you placed your orders and the rest of lunch went without a hitch. You were surprised with how easily conversation came with Kuroo and how naturally you guys got along together.

“So, grilled salted mackerel pike huh?” you asked.

“Yeah, this place is famous for it. It’s my favourite food,” he replied in between mouthfuls. “Docosahexaenoic acid is good for the brain, you know.”

“Wow, didn’t know you were such a nerd.”

“Better than someone who sleeps in class and drools on people.”

“HEY!”

Everything was just so easy with him, and your mind kept drifting back to the waitress’s words. Was this really a date? And more importantly, did you want it to be a date? You’d only just gotten to know him a few hours ago but the chemistry between you was undeniable. The warm feeling in your chest returned and honestly, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to hold on to it a little longer. But lunch was coming to an end and you knew you’d have to let go.

“That was a great meal,” Kuroo said, satisfaction written all over his face. Thanks for the ‘date’ kid,” Kuroo chuckled at the term the waitress used. Your heart skipped a beat and you willed yourself not to blush again or give anything away.

“You’re welcome, old man,” you smiled innocently at the term you used. He’d kept calling you ‘kid’ so it was only fair that you returned the favour. You’d never admit it but you secretly liked it that he gave you a nickname. He smiled at you and shook his head at your silly antics.

Both of you stood outside the shop, not really knowing what else to say. You knew it was time to part ways since you’d already given him what you owed, but neither of you wanted to say goodbye.

“Well, I guess I’d better get back home… I’ve got to catch up on what I missed out during the lecture anyway,” you laughed nervously, trying to break the silence.

“Yeah, I guess this was a good bonding session, huh,” he grinned lopsidedly, but you could tell it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Even so, you laughed at his dorkiness. You were going to miss it.

“Well, I’ll get going then,” you said, turning to leave. “Oh and uh, sorry about your jacket,” you smiled sheepishly.

Kuroo perked up in sudden realisation. “Oh wait! Speaking of…” he closed the distance between you, rummaging through his bag and fishing out the black jacket he’d previously taken off. “Here,” he said, shoving it into your arms.

You looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “What’s this? A keepsake?” you snickered.

“Pfft, you wish,” he smirked. “It has your saliva on it. You wash it,” he said.

You cringed at the truth in his words and folded it over your arms. “Alright, I’ll wash it and give it back to you tomorrow.”

He grinned devilishly with a mischievous glint in his eye, and suddenly you understood his true intentions. You couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

“Good. Now I’ve got an excuse to see you again tomorrow.”

Damn this clever nerd.

He’s good.

© written and published by animatedarchives 2020. please do not steal or repost. thank you.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

17 QUESTIONS, 17 PEOPLE (an update!)

okay, so when i posted the last version on this blog, it was a years-old one from my main that i'd resurrected to get this going. so now imma do an updated version bc i'm depressed and need distractions woohoo.

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NICKNAMES: so. my given name is lucy, which never really sat right with me, but especially not now i've admitted to myself i'm trans. but i'm also autistic, and change freaks me the fuck out lol. online everybody knows me as CASSIDY (actually my surname) but in meatspace, most folks now call me LU, which is androgynous enough to feel okay, i guess. i came out as non-binary a few years ago (which felt right at the time) and only very recently told select folx i'm actually transmasc. it's complicated, for me, in my head, bc i have kids. anyways, my mum has started calling me LUKE (unprompted, lmfao.) also, my brother—who's also my closest buddy—has always called me DAVID, for reasons known only to himself. maybe he's always known i'm a guy.

ZODIAC: scorpio

HEIGHT: a really tall 5'2"

HOGWARTS HOUSE: slytherin (but as my tumblr hubbie tylar @but-theres-wolves also said, jk can go fuck herself with a bargepole).

LAST THING I GOOGLED: "gay men sleeping" bc i wanted a pose ref for a destiel sketch i did when i couldn't sleep last night.

FOLLOWERS: 1015

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: toss a coin to your witcher the theme song from the witcher, sung by the delightful joey batey. this is bc SEASON 2 COMES OUT FRIDAY ASFHKDSKKKK so i've had s1 on (again, lol) in the background whilst arting.

HOW MUCH SLEEP DO I GET: i'm bipolar so either like 0-4 hours (when i'm hypomanic) or 13+ when both depressed and/or chronically fucked from, well, my chronic illnesses.

LUCKY NUMBER: a self-assigned no. 6, bc i was aged 6 at the time i heard about lucky numbers and wanted one for myself.

DREAM JOB: fiction editor, props master or illustrator.

WEARING: you wanna know what i'm wearing? you saucy lot... *looks at self or wouldn't have a fucking clue* uh, apparently, a massively baggy white and grey leopard print jumper, boxershorts and a neon yellow beanie over my buzzcut. i ain't leaving the house.

FAVOURITE SONG: as if i could pick just one!? currently it's the lightening strike (what if this storm ends) by snow patrol. like, on fucking permanent repeat rn omg i can't get enough of it. the rest of the songs from that album are shit but MAN, THIS SONG.

FAVOURITE INSTRUMENT: to play? guitar, although my hEDS means it hurts these days. like, A LOT. i don't really want to talk about it or i'll cry. to listen to? a full orchestra. like, fuck, just listen to THIS and tell me you don't wanna fling yourself off of a building (in a good way, like the matrix).

AESTHETIC: 41-year-old-finally-admits-to-self-that-they're-trans-therefore-everything-is-that-missed-youth-teenage-boy-aesthetic. yeah, that. luckily i don't look my age so kinda get away with it—and anyone who thinks not can fuck off anyways :)

FAVOURITE AUTHOR: again, as if i could pick just one. rn it's maggie stiefvater bc i'm reading book two in her dreamers trilogy: mister impossible, the spinoff series from the raven cycle.

FAVOURITE ANIMAL NOISE: cats purring AND corvids! we get crows round our flat all the time and i bloody love them.

SOMETHING RANDOM: this isn't really about me but my brain is foggy so. my ex (but still good buddies) sister-in-law was in a drama/thriller with chlöe sevigny called hit and miss about a trans assassin, and played the wife of vincent regan who was in the movie the 300. this was back in 2012 and chlöe was playing the titular character... these days you'd hope that trans characters get to be played by a trans actors.

now i have to try and claw my way back into the land of the living bc my dad and his wife are travelling over to see me tomorrow and my flat looks like somebody has been fly tipping here (they have; i'm somebody). wish me luck!

tagging, play or nay: fuck, who did i tag last time?! uh let's have @petrichoravellichor @rauko-is-a-free-elf @crack--attack @iscarusholmes @ohhalefire @ltleflrt @mjulmjul @floral-cas @lenaospinka @puhnatsson @halinski @catboyadamparrish @flitwickslittlebrotha @we--are---not--afraid @dilflanlynch @warynerd @permanentlyjaskier @misterstalker and @wilwheaton (promise you're not a last resort buddie, you just popped into my head). plus anybody else who i could be tagging but am forgetting bc i have hardcore brain fog leave me alone. oh and anybody who doesn't recognise this url my main is @all-or-nothing-baby :))

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[fweasleyswhore]

F.W. Who We Are

Chapter Two: Your Least Favorite Color

Chapter One

a/n chapter two my lovlies!! i rlly wanted to pump this out p fast bc ive been having so much fun with it and i hope you are too!

summary: fred and george tell you their plan for their prank. fluff with a pinch of angst.

word count: 3k

warnings: some touching??? uncomfy situation??

tags: @you-make-children-cry @levylovegood @bohemianspacebabe

comment a request to be added to my taglist !

“Snape’s least favorite color?” I laughed out. “I think you mean, like, any color. I mean has he ever worn anything that isn’t black?”

I was now seated in a small semblance of a circle on the floor of the Gryffindor common room, Fred and George in front of me. It was most definitely past curfew but because tomorrow was Saturday I really didn’t care, the time was the last thing on my mind. The most present thought I had was how the hell Fred and George were going to change the color of all the cauldrons in Snape's room and get away with it. 

“Well, now that you bring it up, I do believe I saw him in robes that looked rather navy instead of black.” George pondered, looking up to the ceiling and tapping his chin as if he was deep in thought. 

“Oh bug off!” I laughed and smacked him on the arm. He looked at his arm with wide eyes, his smile gone. Before I could ask if I was too forceful he was pretending to cry, a little too loud than he should’ve considering it was well past 12 and I am technically trespassing. None of us cared though or even thought to care as we watched George grasp onto his brother’s arms like it was the last thing he would ever do. 

“I-I don’t want to die Freddie.” He whispered. His grip tightened onto his brother as he spoke again. “Freddie, I…” He then let out a loud, fake sob. “There’s so much I haven’t done.” He dropped his head and shook it. I rolled my eyes, how long was he going to keep this up? 

Fred brought his hands up to cradle his brother’s head. “It’s ok George, you can let go, it’s ok.” He looked into his brother’s eyes tearfully, “I’ll help you…”

Before George could react Fred lifted one of his hands and swiftly flicked him on the forehead. George let out a loud groan and spasmed a bit in Fred’s arms, I watched with narrowed eyes as he seized up and shook. 

“You look more like a fish out of water than a dying man,” I said smugly. George rose up and fixed his hair. He looked over to me with a glare and his tongue out. I laughed fully, the situation and everything, as well as some sleep deprivation, catching up on me. I threw my head back, clutched my stomach, and rolled around for what felt like hours. Once I had started I couldn’t stop. 

“I didn’t think it was that funny,” George whispered to Fred. “Maybe we have finally broken her?”

“Maybe…” Was all Fred was able to say back, too caught up with the beautiful girl in front of her to even fully process George's words. 

Finally calming down due to the sharp pain building up in my stomach from laughing so hard, I painfully pushed myself to sit up straight. Leaning on the couch behind me I tried to catch my breath while gripping my stomach. I could feel my face was flushed, my hair was a mess but I couldn’t care. Although the pain that coursed through my body, I was still smiling, looking at the two boys in front of me. Focusing on George I saw that he looked at me with a look of disbelief and amusement, rolling my eyes at him I focussed on Fred ready to be met with the same expression. 

What I was met with nearly made me roll over again. 

The way he looked at me made the rest of the world evaporate. I lost my breath. He smiled at me, but it wasn’t amused or disbelieving like George, he smiled at me with pure content, like watching me writhing around on the floor was the best use of his time. His eyes flickered with something, his usual gleam of mischief no longer evident but what was currently being held I couldn’t decipher. My whole face flushed even more if that was possible, I was praying in my head he didn’t notice it. I diverted my eyes from his gaze, trying to hide my red face as I adjusted into the position I held before I broke out in laughter. 

“Maybe red?” I tried to steer the conversation back to its previous topic, my voice quivered, making me cringe and I hope that the boys didn’t notice or just wrote it off. 

“If we make them red he will know a Gryffindor did it, that’s the equivalent of a murderer leaving a ransom note with his name on it.” George retorted. I sighed, relieved he didn’t say anything. Bringing my gaze up to meet theirs I looked between them, they were both staring at the floor, obviously lost in thought. I brought my gaze to the fire behind them. I pulled my lip in between my teeth trying to focus on a specific color that would make the blood drain from Snape’s face. 

Snape was the head of the Slytherin house, and though that relation, I absolutely despised him. He was terribly rude to Gryffindors for no bloody reason, being that my friends mostly consisted of Gryffindors, he was terribly rude to me as well. He never took points away from me specifically, knowing it would reflect badly on him, but he took the absolute piss out of any Gryffindor around, often even subjected me to long detentions for minor offenses. I have to watch my step around him, even my breathing could set him off, send a nasty glare, or even grade my way. Being a Slytherin though, there was not much I could do about it except accept it, and that made my blood boil under the surface. 

“Perhaps,” I started, my gaze was still trained on the dancing fire behind the boy. “Hot pink would suffice?” 

Lifting my gaze from the fire I glanced between the two. 

“Wicked.” They said in unison. They had these stupid grins on their faces that made me giggle. 

The rest of the night was spent actually completing the plan, or trying to and getting distracted. The day before we leave for Christmas break we would sneak into his room, Fred and George would hide in the back of the room while I waited for Snape to arrive. I would ask him to help me find a book in the library about potion making because “I had really been struggling this past year in his class”. Total lie, I knew what I was doing Snape just hated to give me the grade I deserved. 

Considering Mrs. Pince was on maternity leave he would have no option but to say yes. The boys would hex the cauldrons then run back to the Gryffindor common room where Harry and Ron were ready to provide an alibi. It flowed well, the potions section of the library was in the back and far up, Ron and Harry were more than happy to take the piss out of Snape, and Snape knew that because I was in his house I would never do anything directly against him for fear of being expelled. 

Although I knew there would be no evidence for Snape to use against me I was still quite nervous but the thought of the shit eating grins it would provide the twins gave me enough courage to agree. They always made me happy, it was only fair I do the same for them. 

Once it was mildly solidified in our brains we let the conversation drift, topics from quidditch to the worst animal to transfigure as filled up what should’ve been a quite common room at that hour, and never once did I feel bored.  

-

The feeling of someone shaking my shoulders brought me back to reality. I opened my eyes to a rather bright and blurry mess of red around me, quickly shutting them again I groaned, swatting at my attacker. My lazy attempts fell short never actually hitting anyone. 

“That was lame.” Hermione laughed. 

I opened one eye to glare at her. “Considering I was blind I think they were ferocious.” I shot back. 

She laughed again. “Well I don’t know how late you stayed up, but it’s quarter to 9. Breakfast ends at 10.”

“I have so much time, why must you hurt me ‘Mione?” I huffed running a hand down my face. 

“Because Saturday is blueberry pancake day!” She said half singing. “Also I figured you would want to shower and get ready before we go to Hogsmede.” I groaned again but I knew she was right. I threw my hands over my face and rubbed my eyes before opening them, this time the brightness nor the redness of the room affected me. 

“What would I do without you?” I asked sitting up. Now in a seated position I could see my surroundings. I was laying longways on the couch, a robe sprawled over me like a makeshift blanket. Hermione stood behind me, her hands rested on the armrest that my head was just against.

“Probably dead, due to these two.” I couldn’t see her but I knew she was talking about the twins. I turned my head around and smiled at her. 

Squinting around the common room I could see George curled up in a loveseat by the fireplace, he sat sideways, his head against the back of the chair while his arms hugged one of his legs tightly to his chest, his other leg was thrown over the armrest. I giggled at the sight of him in such an unnatural position, it could not be comfortable with his long limbs. I searched the room for Fred. He wasn't in the other seats by the fireplace or the other couch pushed against the wall. 

My heart plunged into my stomach at the thought that he went up to his dorm, I wasn’t completely sure why it hurt me so much. It made sense for him to have left, but part of me just felt pained at the fact that George stayed and not him. Of course I liked George but not in the way I liked Fred. George was like a brother to me, he was a best friend. Fred was something more than that, not that he knew, I would never admit it to him much less our friends, but that didn’t stop the longing I felt for him, hoping that he felt the same way too. 

Finally I found him and all the doubts I had before were void upon seeing him. He laid on his stomach on the floor next to the couch. One arm under the pillow supporting his head that was facing me and the other thrown across the floor. He didn’t have a blanket on him and his robe wasn’t in sight. His hair was slightly brushed in his face and I had to refrain from leaning down and brushing it out of his eyes. I let out a small laugh realizing he was using the pillow that I threw at George the night before. 

Turning around again to Hermione I spoke again. “You’re completely right.” She rolled her eyes with a smile before exiting the common room muttering something about the work she needed to do that day. 

I stretched and readjusted, pulling my legs to my chest while figuring the best way to get up without disturbing Fred. I balled up the robe that was laid across me, still trying to figure out how to navigate my way out of the common room. 

There was a small space near his arm on the floor, taking it as my best shot to then jump around him. I carefully placed my foot down, making sure not to step on him. Shifting my weight onto that foot I began to move my other leg to go around his back. 

Slowly crouching to get some momentum I jumped, but before my foot could even leave the ground a strong arm grabbed my ankle. Taken by surprise I let out a small shriek before falling onto the couch and then sliding onto the floor. 

I was met with Fred, smirking at me with half lidded eyes. 

“Trying to sneak off with my robe are you?” He said smugly. His voice was deeper and raspier than it usually was and had an immediate effect on my body, my legs weakened and my face burned. I was thanking Merlin I was already sitting and flushed from the fall.

“What are you on about Weasley.” I whisper-yell at him. 

He released my ankle, something I hadn’t even noticed he was still holding until I felt uncharacteristically cold where his touch had been only moments ago. He used his now free hand to point at the balled up robes in my arms. 

“You did not just make me fall on my arse only to accuse me of stealing my robes!” I whisper yelled again, although a tad louder than last time. 

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Your robes? I wasn’t aware we had joint custody over my clothing Y/L/N, but since you want them so bad I suppose you can keep them, red looks good on you by the way.” He shot me a wink at the end of his remark. His confidence and cockiness just upset me further. Although he was unnervingly annoying I couldn’t help the grin that split onto my face at his own stupidity. 

I rolled my eyes and unbunched the robes to show him the green that adorned them, but once they were unrolled I saw the red fabric. My eyes shot wide open, I could feel my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. 

“But…” I couldn’t even form a whole sentence, this didn’t make sense. “You hexxed my robes!” I shot at him. It was the only logical conclusion I had come up to that he had planned this. 

The laugh he was holding back erupted from his mouth. His morning voice made it much deeper than his actual laugh. The rings of his laughter normally made my body hot but this was a whole new level. 

He didn’t say anything, just brought his hand up to my collar and tugged. Looking down I saw that I was still wearing my robes. Never took them off. 

I groaned and threw my face into my hands which only made him laugh harder. He peeled my hands away from my face and held them in his much larger ones. “I would never hex your clothes,” I could feel my face heat up at his words, the genuine tone and the lower octave of his voice sent shockwaves through my whole system. “At least not red, I’d make them purple!” He stuck his tongue out at me and I playfully swatted his shoulder. He knew that was my least favorite color. 

I stood up and threw his robes at his face. “See you in the Great Hall.” And with that I grabbed my shoes and walked out as quickly as possible. I could hear him still laughing as I got to the portrait hole but kept going trying to calm down and get the flush off my face, both from our proximity and embarrassment. 

-

I had thrown on my favorite muggle outfit. Going to Hogsmede was a tradition but the excitement was still there which qualified for a little dressing up. It wasn’t anything special, just plain light wash jeans, a white turtleneck and an oversized orange button up I managed to steal from the twins. All pulled together with a little accessorizing I thought I looked rather good. 

Walking out of my dorm and into the Slytherin common room there was an evident pep in my step. I was happy but a fool wouldn’t be. Stepping towards the exit of the common room someone just had to ruin my fun. 

“Not going out with the Weasels again are you Y/L/N?” Draco drawls. Turning I see him snickering with Crabbe and Goyle before standing and waltzing up to me, arrogant as ever. 

“What is it to you Malfoy?” I spit at him. I was not going to let him ruin today. 

“Well you got so pretty today, Weasleys do not know how to appreciate such expensive things, they can’t afford them, how would they know how to? You deserve someone who knows how and can express their appreciation in equally expensive ways.” He laughed out. He lifted his hand to caress my cheek. His touch made me cringe, his hands were cold and his demeanor was uninviting. Everything about him made me recoil. 

I grabbed his wrist and threw his hand down. “I hope you don’t mean someone like yourself Malfoy. I’m not sure how you even know how to use a hand like that, it looks as though it hasn’t done a day of work in its life. Is that something you are really proud of?” I threw my words at him like daggers. Steam rolling off of me. I could see him change under my glare, his confidence shrank and his anger grew, his relaxed expression was soon replaced by his snarl he adorned everywhere Harry was near, his back stiffened and his fists balled up. 

“Never, touch me again Malfoy.” I turned on my heel and stormed out. Before reaching the exit I thought of something though. 

“Future advice,” I turned again so I was facing him. He hadn’t moved and still looked at me venomously as before. He lifted an eyebrow at my comment, urging me to go on. “Money can’t buy consent.” 

His face darkened and I had to turn quickly to stop myself from all out laughing at him. I’m sure that if I stayed I could have watched him have his temper tantrum but frankly I wasn’t interested. My interest laid with the redhead waiting for me at the doors of the Great Hall. The same one who smiled at me as I walked up to him and poured my juice for me when we sat down. Fred Weasley had me totally, inconceivably, and utterly smitten, and I was completely ok with it. The harder I fell the sweeter it would feel when he caught me. 

Or I hoped. 

[yeahimaloser]

Oh, To Be In Love 2

PART 2

Hawks x reader 

This story will be about how you and your best friend of 5 years, pro hero Hawks, learn how to be in love with each other. 

OMG!!! For real thank you all so much for liking my other Hawks X reader’s. As promised, here's part two of Oh, To Be In Love.

Here's the link to part 1 :)oh-to-be-in-love

ALSO THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!!!!! In this story Hawks picks up the reader and flies with them. I realize that some of the readers out there are plus sized, have a fear of flying, maybe some readers are disabled. But whatever the case I made a separate part were he doesn’t pick up the reader, I really want everyone who reads this to see themselves in the y/n. So this is the link!!! https://yeahimaloser.tumblr.com/post/633775712831225856/oh-to-be-in-love

No pronouns for the reader are used in this story, so feel free to read if you use any pronouns!!

Word count: 1722

Please enjoy!

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You were a total loser.

You had just called your best friend of 5 years, and also the person you were in love with, and told him about a guy you didn’t even want to go out with. Yet, you just wanted to see if he would say anything to deter you from going out with this other guy. But Hawks just gave you some friendly advice. You were expecting this, he was always so supportive of your life choices. 

You groaned to yourself, God you hated this. Wondering what he really thought of you.

You scoffed at yourself, why would the number 2 pro hero ever want to go out with you? You two were just friends, nothing else.

But you just couldn’t help but be in love with him. Maybe you really were helpless.

You could recall when you first fell in love with the winged bastard… 

“Damn,” you groaned to yourself. “I'm totally gonna be late.”

The whole start to your day totally sucked. Your alarm didn’t go off, then you realized you forgot to do the laundry the day before, and on top of that you didn’t have enough time to eat. 

So there you were, running late on an empty stomach, stinky clothes and overall just really tired.

You sighed to yourself. Sometimes life was a bitch.

But then you saw a flash of red, and looked over to see Hawks standing only a few feet besides you. He gave you that exceedingly charming smile, “Need a lift?”  

You and Hawks have been friends for around 3 years now, and yet he’s never taken you flying yet. Due to the hero licenseing law, he could only fly with you if it involved hero work.

You huffed, “Shouldn’t you be on patrol,” you asked in a snarky tone. 

“Well,” Hawks said, striding over to you, “I’m on patrol, and also insanely bored. So, why don’t I keep you company.”

You shook your head at him, “Shouldn’t you be doing actual hero work?”

Hawks just chuckled at you, “I suppose, but hear me out,” his eyes seem to light up, “your a civilan, your in destress. So as a hero, I’ll escort you to your final destionation! The fact that we know eachother is just a bonus!”

You just smirked, rolling your eyes, “Whatever bird boy, let’s go then.”

Hawks groaned, “for the love of God, stop calling me that! It’s so annoying.”

You just giggled, “never.”

Hawks also did this kind of stuff for you. He just liked helping you out. You couldn’t decide if it was because of him being a hero, or if he was just a nice person.

“You know,” he siad in a seemingly careless tone, “I could always fly us there. I know your running late, so let me give you a lift.”

You looked him up and down skeptically, “Hmmm, and if I fall?”

Hawks just smiled at you, “I’ll just catch you.”

You rolled your eyes at his cheesy line, but checking the time you realized how late you really were. 

You gave him a playful huff, “Fine, but I swear if you drop me, I will-”

But Hawks put his hands up, seemingly defending himself, “Wow there! I promise you, on my  hero’s name I will not drop you.”

You gave him a snarky smile, “Fine birdboy, lets go.”

Hawks frowned at the nickname, “Will you ever stop calling me that?”

You giggled, “nope.”

Hawks just sighed, “Alright then… I’m gonna have to hold you.”

You just rolled your eyes, “Wow Hawks, I didn’t think about that. Don't make it weird, we’ve been friends for years.” 

Hawks nodded. picking you up carefully, he positioned you bridal style in his arms. You held tightly onto his neck.

“Seriously, I’m a pro hero, I’m not gonna drop you,” he said laughing a little as well.

“Whatever, lets go I’m already so late.”

“Ohhh, someones snarky.”

But before you could retorte, he took off.

For all your complaining you really did trust Hawks, you knew he wouldn’t drop you. He was a pro hero after all. But being launched in the air would freak anyone out at first. You tried to shrink into Hawks, thinking maybe that would make you feel more safe. He seemed to pick up on this and gave you a reassuring squeeze.

At first, you were terrified. And also super mad, he took off with out telling you!

But then you realized how beautiful the world was from so high in the air. The sun seemed to make everything angelic. And everything looked so small, like you were watching the world from far in the clouds. And the wind. The wind didn’t feel harsh, in fact it felt inviting. The whole scene was enough to take your breath away.

You turned to tell Hawks how amazing it was, to tell you how thankful you were. 

But your words died in your throat.

Hawks looked… like an angel.

He wasn’t looking at you, instead he was looking ahead, his expression was one you had never seen before. It was one of pure relaxation, and just prue freedom. The sunlight didn’t bounce off his face, it seemed like his face absorbed it. The way his face shone almost made you want to look away, and yet you couldn’t. His lips formed a purely happy smile. His hair looked beautiful, flowing in the wind and shining like the sun. 

But his eyes.

It was his eyes that made your words die in your throat.

They seemed to shone with pure intensity, pure adoration, pure angelic beauty. 

He looked so heavenly.

When he finally noticed you looking at him, he just gave you a smile. 

A bright, stunning, beautiful smile that made your heart race and your face go red.

And it wasn’t just how he looked, it was his vibe too. He made you feel safe, like you could put your heart in his hand and he would protect it with his life. You realized how amazing your best friend really was. He was so calming and… warm. He just felt good.

And that's how you caught feelings for your best friend.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were so pathetic.

Of course you were gonna turn the other guy down. But your dumb brain thought that maybe, maybe there was a chance that Hawks would tell you no. That you should be with him and not this other guy. But he didn’t. And although you were loathed to admit it, you saw that coming.

When this guy told you about his feelings, you honestly didn’t really know what to say in the moment. But then you came up with this stupid plan, and here you are, hurt and alone.

Every time you even so much as thought of getting into a relationship with someone else you felt as though you couldn’t. Because you would just end up comparing them to him. No one could make you laugh as hard, no one could put you more at ease, no one was captivating enough to steal your attention.

You sighed, your back hitting the wall. 

“I should probably go eat,” you said to yourself.

but just then your phone buzzed, your eyes widened at the I.D.

It was Hawks, sometimes you could swear the man was physic.

Hawks: hey you doing anything for lunch tomorrow??

You smiled but rolled your eyes, sometimes the man only thought with his stomach. You couldn’t count the amount of chicken he would buy.

You: probably not 

You: why did you have something in mind birdboy??

Hawks: I literally only have wings

Hawks: I’m not a freaken bird

You giggled to yourself, Hawks seemed to never fail to make you laugh. Even when you felt like shit.

You: you sure about that bud

You: bc I could count the amount of bird shit you’ve done in my presence

Hawks: wow 

Hawks: here I was about to ask you to go out for lunch tomorrow 

Hawks: but I guess you don’t want a free meal ;)

This was something very regular between the two of you. Your lunch break matched up with his, so you two almost always ended up going out. He would also take you out to dinner on special occasions.

You: only if your paying

Hawks: wow y/n

Hawks: didn’t know you were a sell out

You just huffed.

You: last time I checked your the pro hero

You: your the one that has like an ass load of cash

You: so yeah

You: your paying 

You: :)

Hawks. …

Hawks: ok I’ll give you that

Hawks: so you're down??

You bit your lip. 

When you first realized your feelings for Hawks, you tried to push him away. You tired not hanging out with him so much. Trying to save yourself from feeling your heart ache inside.But it was so hard, you were like a moth and Hawks was your flame.

So, whenever he asked you to hang out, it was impossible for you to say no.

You: I’ll see you there :)

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Woooooow the dramaaaaa!

Ok but for real, I really enjoy writing the series! So I really hope you enjoy this too :)

I have the draft for part 3 so don’t worry, It will probably come soon. But again, with this series I like taking my time. 

Thank you again!

[obx-saltlife]

Do I Wanna Know?

John B. x Reader; phone sex?

Summary: You take some photos, they’re meant for your dumb boyfriend; you accidentally send them to John B.

Warnings: Smut, graphic language, phone sex, don’t send n00ds (okay do but be responsible, always!), maybe cheating implied so if you’re not comfortable with that then don’t read.

A/N: I don’t even know how this came about. Take awesome photos, do you, queens; but always, always be responsible and don’t just send them to anyone bc guys are assholes sometimes (all of the time).

“Text 6969 now and stay completely satisfie-...”

The rest of the commercial was cut off as you rolled your eyes and switched off the television.  

Leaning your head back against the sofa you sighed softly. The house was silent and you were alone once again. This was the third time this week that your boyfriend ditched you for the night and although he had offered plenty of times to take you with him, you declined knowing that you had plenty of other things to do back home.   At this point, your relationship was definitely changing and aside from missing maybe the idea of him terribly, there was absolutely no denying you were undoubtedly missing the physical aspects of your relationship as well.

You and your boyfriend hadn’t been intimate for a while, and although you were mostly okay with it for a while, there were times when you’d find it incredibly difficult to admit that you were, indeed lonely. It was definitely frustrating being in a relationship with someone who was more focused on working or whatever than spending time with their girlfriend. Honestly, you didn’t mind the space as much but even when you did get together, your boyfriend was always somewhere else, mentally. However; you would never call him out on any of this. It would definitely end in him telling you that you were being “clingy” and the move on to talking about something else. And what girl wants to go through that shit?

While going through some old magazines, you came up with an idea. Instead of siting at home wondering if your boyfriend missed you as much as you missed him, you decided that you were going to make him miss you.

Leaving the couch and the magazines behind, you walked into your room stripping out of the simple clothes you had been wearing around town earlier in the day, revealing a matching bralette and lacy panty set. You looked at yourself in the mirror, slightly thankful that the set was actually matching, a rare and almost unusual occurrence.

You weren’t sure how to go about this. You had never ventured to the dark side of technology like this, you hadn’t needed to. You would never have thought of taking these types of pictures of yourself before, and you weren’t all too sure what your boyfriend Jason would think of them. However; you expected him to like it, because who didn’t like seeing their significant other half-naked?

Moving over to the bed, you took your phone and started taking pictures. To be completely hoenst, you were mostly just playing it by ear. Having no idea what was actually considered “sexy” since you often saw yourself as the exact opposite of the word. The rush of adrenaline boosted your confidence as you realized that hopefully, in a matter of minutes, Jason would be as turned on as you were.

You picked a few photos that you thought Jason would like the most and hastily pressed the send button. However, before you put your phone down, it beeped and a message appeared.

Sent to John B. Routledge

“Shit, Shit, Shit!” You screamed out loud, “This would fucking happen to me!”

You couldn’t believe that you had just sent her racy photos to your best friend of ten years instead of your current boyfriend.

Panicking, you typed a message to John B:  “Sorry! Those were definitely not for you! Disregard! Actually don’t even look at it!”

To say you were embarrassed was an understatement. You had no idea what to do, and you knew how awkward it was going to be once met up with the rest of the Pogues for surfing tomorrow morning.

“What is he even going to think when he sees those pictures?” You thought out loud, “What if the other boys see them? I'm a fucking idiot.”

Putting your face in your hands, you groaned and tried to think of ways to overcome this situation. However, the very familiar ring tone quickly interrupted your thoughts.  Looking at the caller ID and inwardly groaning, a clear embarrassed flush on your cheeks.

Call from John B. Routledge

Sighing, you picked up the phone.

“H-Hey John B,” you began to stutter.

“Well, well, that text I just received is definitely different than your quirky meme of the day.” The voice said over the phone.   You could tell that John B was smirking and you were even more embarrassed than you were before.

“John B that was meant for Jason! I didn’t mean to send those to you. I’m so sorry!” You rushed. You were never going to get over this. The embarrassment was literally mortifying.

“Why are you sorry? I’m definitely not complaining.”

“Come on, JB. Can you just delete the photos?  We can pretend it never even happened”

“You know it’s funny,” He started, “I'm pretty sure red isn't your favorite color but it looks good on you.”

You were definitely mortified. Actually, mortified was an understatement. You couldn’t believe that he was acting like this! All you wanted him to do was to delete the photos and then that way; he could go on with his life and you could continue with yours as well.

“John B, just do me a solid and delete them okay? I already feel bad enough.”  You sighed.

He didn’t say anything and now you were getting worried. Was he really that repulsed by you? Maybe, you were muted and he was showing your pictures to the other guys.

“God, I’m such a fucking idiot.” You huffed, “I don’t even know why I thought this was a good idea anyway. It’s not like Jason would have even liked them.”

“Why would you even begin to think something like that?” He questioned.

“I don’t know, I-I- John B, can you please just delete them?” You pleaded.

“Hey, why would you think that?” He repeated.

How were you supposed to tell your best friend that your boyfriend was awful? You knew John B already didn’t like him to begin with and that he only tolerated him because you would beg him, Kie, Pope and JJ to. But, if they knew how he treated you, you wouldn’t hear the end of it not only from John B but from the rest of them as well. They liked treating you like one of the gang. Regardless, you knew there would be countless amounts of  “I told you so’s” and even more lectures about why Jason wasn’t a good guy to begin with.

“I don’t know, JB.  He’s just been really busy, apparently. I don’t even know. We haven’t really spent much time together and every time I try to do something for him, he just shrugs it off. It's discouraging and awful.”  You said hoping this would get him off of your back.

You were wrong. Questions continued to come, and that's how you told your best friend absolutely everything that was going on with you and no-good Jason. Even though you knew that John B would probably be upset, you felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.

“Can I tell you something?” John B asked.

“Anything.” You said nodding; quickly realizing that he couldn’t see you over the phone.

“Well, I- Honestly-If-Well, If you and I were in this position that you and that idiot Jason are in, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you.” John B admitted sheepishly, “Specially if you took pictures like that for me.”

“Shut up, JB,” You laughed, “I know what you’re doing and it’s not working.”

“What am I doing?”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, and you’re doing a really shitty job.” You pointed out.

“I’m being honest!” He exclaimed, “Seriously, though. You’re beautiful.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes at his comments.  You weren’t interested in talking about this; all you wanted him to do was delete the photos so you could carry on with your extensive plans to do absolutely nothing the rest of the night.

“Can I do something?” He asked knowing that you probably wouldn’t say anything anytime soon.

“Um, okay?” You questioned, now worried of what he was planning on saying next.  

“I want to make you feel good.” He said his voice just above a whisper, “Will you please let me do that for you?”

“John B…”

“Just let me show you,” he said, getting back to his point,  “Go upstairs, and get on the bed.”

“John B, can you please just delete the photos? It’s late and we have surfing early tomorrow morning.” You said changing the subject once again.

“Let me take care of you.” He said ignoring your pleas to delete the photos.

You couldn’t believe what he was doing. He was obviously aware of the fact that you had a boyfriend, and although you did have their issues you loved him very much and wouldn’t dream of hurting him.  You looked over at the bed, contemplating granting his request.

“I love Jason.” You said, “I don’t want to cheat on him. I’m not sure if this is right, JB.”

“Do you trust me?”  He asked.

“…Yes” you hesitated, of course you trusted him. He was your best friend, but at this time you weren’t really sure where he was going.

“You also know that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, right?” He asked, “That I wouldn’t do this if I thought you would be putting your relationship in jeopardy?”

“I know, JB.”

“Okay then.” He confirmed, “Get on the bed for me.”

You nodded, still realizing that he couldn’t see you and made your way toward your bed like you were told.  After all, he did say that this wouldn’t hurt your relationship with Jason, right?

“God those pictures are driving me absolutely crazy.” He whispered, “I wish you could see what you’ve done to me.  I keep thinking of what I’d do to you if you were here right now.”

He went silent. You listened carefully and heard a zipper in the background, seconds later you heard a soft thud proving that he had taken off his pants and they had hit the ground.

You silently gasped, realizing what was actually happening. You wanted to stop it, you really did. However; you were too curious to see where this went.  You would be lying if you said that you weren’t turned on. You felt as if you were finally getting the recognition you deserved and you loved it.

“Let me ask you something” John B asked, his voice still quiet, “Does your boyfriend ever play with you like this? Does he touch you how want you to be touched?“

If you weren't turned on before, you definitely were now. You couldn’t believe that you were seeing this side of John B. A side of him, you had only ever heard about from the other two boys and gossipy girls in your group of friends. You were used to the little shy, somewhat awkward boy you met when you were 10 and he was only 8. Not the persistent, demanding man you were on the phone with now.

“No” You whispered, “He doesn’t.”

John B groaned, “I can make you feel so good, all you need to do is let me. Tell me what you want.”

Now noticing that familiar feeling in between your legs, you knew that you had finally cracked.

“Play with me, John B.”

“I told you I was going to make you feel good didn’t I?” He responded.

It was like you could feel his presence, and you knew that he was definitely giving some sort of smirk at the end of it.  However, you were too turned on to laugh. You wanted him, and you wanted him now.

“Close your eyes for me, imagine me there.” He was back to his husky voice, “You’re going to touch yourself exactly as I say, and I don’t want you do anything unless I tell you to. Do you understand?”

“Please, John B.” You whimpered, “Tell me what to do.”

“I’m going to need you to take off what you’re wearing. Can you do that for me?” John B asked.

You slowly began taking off the red bralette set you were wearing earlier, waiting for John B’s next move. The line was silent; the only thing you could hear was his heavy breathing and a quiet groan, which signaled that he had just started touching himself.

“Fuck, I bet you look amazing right now. I wish I was with you, I wouldn’t waste any time getting your clothes off of you. I bet your skin feels amazing. You look so good in red, babe.” John B groaned.

“My clothes are off,” You whispered interrupting his thoughts, “Tell me what to do, JB.”

“Touch your breasts. Instead of your little hands imagine mine cupping them, rolling them around with my palms.” He instructed.

You did what you were told, you began touching your stomach gradually moving up as you began touching your breasts. Softly kneading them with your palms until you gradually gained more strength imagining John B’s hands touching you instead of your own.  You let out a small whimper to let know John B that you were doing it, and every time you did you felt the feeling between your legs increase.

“Do my fingers feel good, rolling both your nipples between my thumbs and forefingers?”  He questioned.

You gasped and let out another whimper as a response, still afraid of what your voice would actually sound like.

“Answer me.” He spoke.

“Your fingers feel good on me, JB.” You answer, “Your hands are so big.”

“Spread your legs for me,” He asks softly, “Can you feel the air against you?”

You spread your legs, feeling the air against your clit and gasped, “Fuck, John B.”

“Open yourself for me.  Tell me what you want”

“Your mouth, I want your mouth.” You whispered, “Please, John B.”

You weren’t sure how long you could last without touching yourself, the way he was talking to you was driving you absolutely wild and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

“My mouth?” He questioned, “You want my tongue inside of you?”

“Yes!” You whined.

“Do you want to touch yourself, babe?” He asked.

“Yes, please let me, JB.”

“Do you still feel the air on you? Do you feel me licking your slit?” John B asked completely disregarding your cries, “God you taste so good.”   The fact that you could now hear him touching himself clearly made you moan.

“I need you to touch me, John B. I’ve been doing what you told me to do, please.” You pleaded again.

“Are you turned on?” He asked.

“Yes”

“Are you wet?”

“I’m so wet- soaking.” You pleaded, “Please let me touch myself. I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He questioned.

“Mhm” You moaned pressing your thighs together. You were hoping that this would help you calm down, however it was just the opposite.

“I want you to put your hands on your slit, and then I want you to tell me what you want me to do.” John B commanded.

You didn’t waste any time moving your hands down and started rubbing yourself sighing with relief.

“Fuck me, John B.”

“I can’t think of anything else that I’d rather do.” He responded, “Now, I want you to do whatever feels good for you, okay? Feel free to slip in now.”

You continued to rub yourself as you left your finger slide inside of your while putting your other hand on your breast.  You sighed as you moved it slowly. You closed your eyes as you imagined John B giving you the pleasure that you were giving yourself. You pushed another finger inside of yourself and raised your hips just slightly as you pretended that they were his.

“One or two?” John B asked groaning.

“Two”

The slapping sounds against his flesh became very noticeable now and that just encouraged you to keep doing what you were doing.

“Fuck yourself faster,” John B grunted, “Fuck, you feel incredible.” Something about hearing him utter those words made you ache for him more.

You did what you were told and moved your fingers faster, still bucking against them.  Your fingers twisted and turned inside of you, finding the spot that you were desperately craving to find.

“Keep going, let me hear you.”

For the next few minutes the phone was filled with moans, gasps, grunts, and sighs. The two of you were pleasuring yourselves to no end, each of you wishing they were with one another to get your release. You could feel yourself building up as you continued to push your fingers inside of you. Biting your lip, you almost forgot that John B was on the other line until he spoke again.

“Play with your clit.”

You moved your fingers faster against yourself and moved the hand that was on your breast so it could pay full attention to your clit.

“J- So- You feel so good- Shit, John B!” You exclaimed moving your hand faster against your clit to drive yourself further. You began to get that feeling in the pit of your stomach and started to tighten around your fingers.

“I wish I could see you right now” John B started, “Watching you as you’re doing this. I bet you’re beautiful right now.”

“Close,” You whimpered.

John B let out an unreadable grunt and continued pumping himself through the phone. Along with the other sounds he was making, you could tell that he was close too.

“Make me cum, JB. Please.”  You said still moving your hand against your clit.

“Together, just-not long now,” His sentences were getting choppy, his breathing ragged and erratic.

You were trying so hard to hold out for him but you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to do it. Just as you were about to let out your release, you heard a small, “Now”.   You let out a small scream as you released and listened as John B let a small string of curse words as he came.

The two of you spent a few minutes in silence trying to catch your breaths after everything you had just done.  You smiled to yourself finally feeling satisfied for the first time in a while, and weirdly you honestly couldn’t wait until you saw John B tomorrow morning, to talk about what had just happened. This newfound confidence told you the conversation would go well.  You knew that right then wasn't the right time to say anything; especially after the moment you just shared.

“See you tomorrow?” You whispered.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He said, “Bright and early?”

You continued to think.  You knew that this whole entire experience was wrong, but everything felt so right.  Although you loved Jason, you knew that you wanted to at least try and talk to John B about what happened.

You heard him yawn over the phone, realizing that between his busy day and everything else he must have been exhausted.

“Yes, definitely.” You smiled over the phone, “Get some sleep though, okay?”

“Call me some other time.” He said, his voice mixed with a lazy smile and exhaustion, “Goodnight.”

You knew exactly what he meant, and although you were still having mixed emotions you couldn’t wait to maybe call him again.