#although she also loves every tri collie she sees

[chasteblowjay]

I got Amelia a harness for her second birthday (which was Tuesday) I can’t believe she’s so big now 😭

[stardustshelb]

"Strawberry" Part One

Word count: 6,749

Chapter One

“Are you sure you can’t drive me to the airport in the morning?” I asked Kenneth wearily. I knew he was reluctant to allow me to go to Nashville for Riley’s bachelorette weekend. He says he’s worried about my safety, but I know the truth is that he doesn’t want me to go out without him, especially with a group of girls.

He groaned, “I have to be at work by 8 a.m. and your flight leaves at noon. I’m not sure if you know how time works but–”

“My plane leaves at 2 p.m. I have to be there by noon,” I interjected before he finished his insult.

“Whatever. Either way, I can’t swing it. Just drive yourself or get one of your friends to give you a ride,” he said as he shut the bathroom door in my face.

He knows good and well that Riley and our other friends live hours away in other states. Everyone got out of this town the second we graduated college. Well, everyone except me. Kenneth took over his father’s business so I stayed behind too. I don’t resent him for it; I love my small town. I love that my family is no more than 15 minutes away in every direction. I love my job and my students. I love my  simple two-bedroom home where I spend most of my evenings alone with Sassy, my border collie. I love my comfortable life. But I hate that my best friend since middle school took a marketing job that required her to move 738 miles away from me.

Life sometimes gets lonely when your closest friends are your coworkers who are old enough to be your parents. Finding a teaching job in this small town was easy because I went to school here. My classroom is the same classroom I once sat in to learn 9th grade English; now I am on the other side of the desk.

When Riley asked me to be her maid of honor, I cried tears of joy… and jealousy. Kenneth and I have been together since we were 16 years old. Although we celebrated our 10-year-anniversary in August, we were quickly approaching the two-year-anniversary of our engagement. Riley met her fiancé less than a year ago; yet, I am the one putting on a bridesmaid dress before a wedding dress. 

“Can you turn off the light?” Kenneth’s question snapped me back to reality. I looked at the piles of folded laundry on my side of the bed with my barren suitcase next to them.

“I’m still packing,” I said.

“Well, some of us don’t get to go to Nashville. Some of us have to go to work to help fund a trip we don’t even get to go on,” he responded.

Ouch. Yes, it’s true Kenneth is the breadwinner. His father’s business is lucrative and Kenneth does well for us. He has asked me to quit my job time and time again since he can support us financially. Everyone knows a teacher’s salary isn’t much to brag about, but I still feel pride in bringing home a paycheck every month. I love my job too much to quit. It’s already lonely in the evenings; I can’t imagine staying home all day by myself too. 

“You know I booked the cheapest flights I could find. Everyone else is flying in together and I am arriving a day early because tomorrow’s flights were more expensive than–”

“Turn off the light!” Kenneth snapped.

I collected my laundry piles and tossed them into my suitcase before shoving it to the floor. I guess I will have to finish packing in the morning after he leaves for work. I put my phone on the charger, turned off the light, and climbed into bed. Sassy jumped into bed to sleep by my feet, our nightly routine. She has always been my protector. I am going to miss her so much while I am gone, but I am looking forward to this miniature vacation. I haven’t had a trip to look forward to since my senior year of college. Kenneth is always too busy with work for us to have a vacation together. He doesn’t like to fly but he also gets car sick. If anywhere I wanted to go required more than two hours on the road, count him out. Plus it will be nice to see Riley again. I shut my eyes and tried my best to fall asleep. I am used to going to bed angry. Anger is like melatonin to me at this point. But the excitement and longing kept me awake. I pulled my headphones out of my nightstand and connected them to my phone. I scrolled through my Spotify playlists until I found one to soothe me to sleep. I selected “Boyfriends” by Harry Styles and the irony wasn’t lost on me as I drifted off…

Chapter Two

I collected the parking ticket from the machine as I drove into the airport’s economy lot. I found a spot closest to the entrance, but I knew I was still going to have to walk a billion miles. The economy lot is furthest from the airport but it’s the most affordable option. I wanted to save every dollar I had for this trip, so I figured it was a small sacrifice. I parked and started to collect my things from the trunk of my car. I grabbed my carryon suitcase and hung my purse on its handle before I started my trek to the airport. Anxiously double-checking every item on my pack-list in my head, I walked through the double doors of the airport. I made my way up to security and got in line behind what seemed to look like the entire population of my town. Luckily, the line moved fairly quickly as I approached the TSA agent’s desk. I placed my luggage on the conveyor belt, removed my sandals, and emptied my pockets. 

The large woman in the TSA uniform waved me through the body scanner. “Come on through, sweetie.”

I stood on the yellow marker and held my hands above my head. I knew I had nothing on me that would set off any alarm, but this moment always made me hold my breath. 

“You’re good, sweetie. Have a good day,” she smiled as I breathed a sigh of relief. I collected my things and scurried off to the side to put my shoes back on. When I grabbed my phone from the security tub, I noticed that I had two missed calls from Kenneth. 

I called him back as I tried to make my way through the crowd, pulling my luggage behind me. He answered on the first ring. 

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?” he asked with a bit of anger in his tone. 

“I was going through security. I couldn’t be on my phone,” I explained.

“Well, I only have so long of a lunch break and I wanted to check in before you got on your flight. What time are you set to land again?” he asked.

“3:30 p.m. for the hundredth time,” I sighed.

“Ok, you need to text me as soon as you land,” he commanded.

“Sure thing,” I replied.

“Alright, well I’m gonna get back to work,” Kenneth said.

“Hey, don’t forget to give Sassy a treat after she goes outside because that’s what she’s used to. Oh, and don’t forget that she likes to have dinner at–”

“I’ve owned the damn dog just as long as you have. You don’t have to give me instructions,” Kenneth cut me off.

“Can you send me pictures of her throughout the day? I’m really going to miss her,” I pleaded.

“You’re going to miss the dog more than me,” Kenneth scoffed.

I thought about that comment for a moment as I approached my gate. I glanced over the TV screen to verify my boarding time. 

“Wow, you don’t even deny it,” Kenneth said.

“I’m sorry. I got distracted by my gate. It’s really busy here. I will text you when I land. Please send me pictures of Sassy. I will keep you posted. I love you,” I nearly lied into the phone.

“Love you too,” he said halfheartedly before ending the call. 

While pulling my belongings behind me, I found a spot to sit down in the waiting area of my gate. The airport seemed to be a madhouse, but it looked like my flight wouldn’t be so crowded after all. There were more empty seats than I expected. I checked the “Nashville Babes” group text on my phone. I’ve had the notifications silenced for weeks because I can’t stand getting notified every 10 minutes. I asked Riley to text me separately if there was anything I really needed to know. I hate that I appear to be an unsupportive maid of honor, but seeing my phone light up constantly throughout the day–and night–has been a nightmare for my anxiety. Riley knows and understands that I get overwhelmed easily. She took charge of planning her own bachelorette weekend because she knew I would get stressed out. I still feel guilty about it, but she assured me that she truly wanted to plan it. I wasn’t going to argue. She’s always been the most supportive and constant person in my life. I hate that I am secretly jealous of her when I should be reciprocating the support. 

“Now boarding Group A!” the airline attendant announced over the gate’s speaker. I checked my boarding pass: Group C. Once again, I took the most affordable option on the cheapest flight I could find. Being last to board on Southwest meant that I am doomed to a middle seat between two strangers. I just hope that whomever I get stuck between put on deodorant today. When I say I’m looking forward to a vacation, I mean I am looking forward to a break from 15-year-olds’ body odor. One of the many drawbacks of being a teacher. 

“Excuse me,” a man in a white sweater and khaki pants said as he tried to shuffle by me. I thought he looked funny wearing both a baseball hat and sunglasses indoors. That doesn’t look suspicious in an airport. I moved my things from his path and he headed to board the plane. So he’s in Group A… This guy has money. Well, maybe not. He is flying Southwest after all. I’m sure I could have booked Group A tickets, but I didn’t want to ask Kenneth for any more money than I already needed. This trip was fully funded by me and I was proud of that. Well, until Riley picked the most expensive Airbnb in Nashville. I almost fainted when I received her Venmo request. I was grateful she didn’t charge me extra for staying one night by myself since I had an earlier flight. I swallowed my pride and asked Kenneth if I could have an extra $400 to add to my savings to help with my portion of the bill. He gave me the money with no issues, but he has enjoyed holding it above my head every chance he’s had.

Once I heard the announcement for Group C, I grabbed my things and headed to stand in line to board. I glanced at the Nashville Babes group text: 80 missed notifications. I cleared it from my phone as I opened the Southwest app to show my boarding pass. Once I was scanned in, I headed through the hallway to board the plane. I stepped on the aircraft and gazed over the heads of strangers who were all avoiding eye contact. I knew they were all pleading to themselves that I wouldn’t take their middle seat. The flight wasn’t too packed, but there were no empty window or aisle seats left. Wonderful. I scanned the rows once more looking for any open overhead space when I noticed someone’s eyes locked on me. Eyes that I hadn’t seen before; yet, a face that looked all too familiar. The Group A stranger had removed his sunglasses and was staring at me. I started to move down the aisle when he whispered to the guy in the row with him. Whoever he was, he looked angry receiving whatever news he just got. No chance I want to sit between a bickering couple. I located a row nearby filled with two women who looked rather normal. I went to lift my luggage to put in the overhead space when the Group A stranger grabbed my suitcase.

“Allow me,” he said with a smile that displayed the tiniest of gaps between his unusually white teeth. But rather than placing the suitcase in the compartment I had decided on, he placed it in the compartment above his row. 

“Would you prefer the window seat or the aisle seat?” he asked.

“What happened to the man who was sitting with you?” I answered his question with a question.

“I asked him to sit elsewhere. I figured you’d prefer a better spot,” he smiled that smile again.

Bewildered, I responded: “I’ll take the aisle.” No way would I be confined to the window seat with this strange man trapping me in. I needed an escape route in case he was a pervert or something. 

“Perfect. I love to watch the clouds anyways,” he said as he shuffled into the row. I followed suit but sat to keep an empty seat between us. 

“Why didn’t your friend just sit in the middle if you wanted to give me a good seat?” I asked confusingly.

“That’s my–um–assistant. He can stand to sit elsewhere for the short flight since I see him all of the time. I’d prefer to sit next to someone more pleasant anyways,” he joked. 

God he’s adorable. A little too forward but adorable nonetheless.

“Well, I appreciate you doing that for me. I figured I was going to have to sit between two strangers, but an aisle seat is definitely a welcomed surprise,” I said.

I opened my phone to inform the Nashville Babes that I had boarded and would be landing in roughly an hour and a half. I completely ignored the hundreds of messages that came before mine. I was about to put my phone on airplane mode when I received a private text from Riley.

Riley: “You ok?”

Me: “Yes, of course. I’m so excited to see you! Get ready to lose oxygen from my hug when I see you tomorrow.” 

Riley: “Just checking. Haven’t heard from you in a couple days. Let me know when you land and when you make it to the Airbnb. Safe travels, love.” 

I sighed as I read her message over and over. I smiled and held the message down to “love” it before searching through my purse to retrieve my headphones. 

“Already getting the music out and we haven’t even heard the safety instructions yet. I think you need to pay attention,” I heard the adorable stranger say.

“There isn’t much I can do if there were an emergency. Knowing that I need to breathe oxygen through a mask that will drop in front of my face is all I need to know,” I said with a laugh.

“Just make sure to put your own mask on before you help me with mine,” he said.

“Who says I would help you?” I turned to him and asked.

“I helped you with your luggage. I helped you get an aisle seat. The least you can do is help me breathe,” he said with a smile that displayed his perfect teeth again.

I laughed and replied, “Ok, well I am not banking on there being an emergency, so no need to worry.”  

“Does anyone ever bank on an emergency?” he asked. Smart ass.

I rolled my eyes and placed my headphones in my ears. I opened my Spotify app to find the playlist I downloaded to prepare for the flight.

“Who are you listening to?” the stranger asked. I am beginning to wish I had sat between the two women after all. Not having to play 20 questions with this guy would have been worth sacrificing the extra space I had in this aisle seat.

“Nobody yet as I literally just opened the app,” I responded.

“Can I give you a song suggestion?” he asked.

“Um… I guess?” I replied questioningly.

“May I?” he asked as he reached for my phone.

“I’m not giving a stranger my phone,” I said with a shocked expression to my tone. The nerve of this guy.

“What am I going to do? Run off with it? You’ve got me trapped in,” he smiled showing that cute, tiny gap again. 

“No thanks,” I said as I went to start my music. 

Suddenly, he unbuckled his seat belt and stood up from his seat. I stared at him wide-eyed as a flight attendant stopped by our row to say, “Sir, please stay seated and buckle your seat belt.” 

He waved to the irritated attendant and displayed a soft smile as he sat in the middle seat beside me. Immediately I was hit with his fresh cologne scent that made me crave more as he started to buckle the seat belt. You have got to be kidding me.

“What are you doing?” I somehow yelled and whispered simultaneously.

“Please let me pick a song for you to listen to. Then I will leave you alone. I promise,” he said with a slight pout to his lips. God, his lips. How did I not notice those yet?

“Give me your phone in exchange,” I said with an air of confidence in my voice.

“Ah, so she’s smart and she’s beautiful,” he said as he reached into the pocket of his khaki pants. I tried to hide the blush that I could feel warming my cheeks. I couldn’t remember the last time I received a compliment.

“I’m not unlocking it, but I will let you hold it for ransom,” he said as he held his phone out to me. I took it from his hands as his fingers brushed against mine. I felt an immediate rush of energy run through me as our hands briefly touched. What was that? I handed him my phone and watched as he typed the words “Greta Van Fleet” into the search bar in my Spotify app. He made a face that almost seemed disappointed, and then clicked  to download the band’s complete playlist. He attempted to hand my phone back to me, and I stared at him confusingly as I reached for it. I was too busy watching him with my phone; I never even glanced at his lockscreen. Before I gave him back his phone, I tapped the screen to see what his background was. On display was a photo of a crowd of lights, but the photographer must have been standing on the stage when they took it. There had to be thousands of phone flashlights in this one photo. It reminded me of tiny stars in the midnight sky. 

“I took that picture, ya know?” he said with a proud smile.

“Are you a concert photographer?” I asked. 

He let out a wild laugh and then glanced down at my phone’s screen, “It’s almost finished downloading.”

“I thought you said a song suggestion. A. One. Singular. Not a whole playlist,” I said.

“I mean… I wanted to give you options,” he said.

Waving his phone to him I asked, “So, is this crowd picture from this band’s concert?”

“Yes,” he said, like there was more he was wanting me to ask. I decided to have the upperhand and gave him his phone back without asking another question. I watched my screen as the playlist was nearly completely downloaded. 

“I’m Josh,” he said like he was annoyed that I hadn’t asked for his name yet.

“Hi, Josh,” I replied disinterestedly. 

“And you are…?” he asked.

“I’m about to listen to this playlist,” I said with a matter-of-fact tone.

“Smart, beautiful, arrogant…” he muttered under his breath.

“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that,” I said as I put my headphones in. “You can move back to the window now.”

“We are about to take off. If I stand up, I’ll cause a scene and then we’ll be delayed. Then I’ll probably become a flight risk and be forcibly removed off of the plane. Everyone would be recording the fiasco and posting it online. Let’s just avoid all of that and I’ll stay seated here,” he said with a smirk.

“You have quite the imagination…” I said hiding my smile.

“I’m sacrificing a coveted window seat for you. I hope you know that,” he replied.

“I never asked you to change seats,” I said.

“No, but you didn’t object either,” he responded with a smug expression on his face.

Once the playlist completed its download, I switched my phone to airplane mode. I sighed in frustration and scrolled through the playlist to view the songs. Whoever this band is, they have quite a discography. I wanted to ask him which song I should start with but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. I scrolled until the title “Trip the Light Fantastic” caught my eye. Intrigued, I selected the song and tilted my head back to listen to it. Before I shut my eyes, I noticed Josh was staring at my phone to see which song I chose first. I closed my eyes and relaxed as the lyrics danced through my ears. I have never heard anything like this before. I was so entranced in the music that I didn't even realize we were now speeding down the runway about to take off. The music, plus the feeling of lifting off the ground, was nearly overwhelming in the best way possible. I felt like I had stepped into the song itself. When the song ended, I didn’t want to open my eyes. I wanted to stay in this moment for as long as possible. 

“What did you think?” I heard Josh ask as I removed my headphones.

“Wow,” is all I could formulate. My thoughts ran wild and I wanted to describe the feeling I just had, but I couldn’t put it into words. 

“What did you think about the guy’s voice?” he asked.

“The dude is talented as hell. I just wish I could understand everything he sang,” I said.

There was that wild laugh of his again. “Yeah, I think the band receives that criticism a lot,” he said with a shrug. I truly wanted to listen to another song, but I didn’t want him to know I was so interested in this band. I guess one could call me stubborn. 

“While I love to share music with new people, I’d love to talk some more if that’s alright with you,” he said sheepishly.

“I feel like you would talk to me even if it weren’t alright with me,” I said sarcastically.

“Smart, beautiful, arrogant,” he repeated. I playfully pinched his arm. 

“Hey!” he exclaimed as he rubbed his arm.

“I let it slide the first time. I wasn’t going to let you get away with it again,” I said.

“Now that I’ve been physically assaulted… Are you going to Nashville for business or pleasure?” he asked.

“I’m attending a bachelorette party,” I said.

“For you or someone else?” he asked, looking down at the dainty ring on my finger. The same ring that has been without a wedding band companion for nearly two years. The same ring I wanted to leave inside the jewelry box before I left my house this morning.

“It’s for my best friend Riley,” I said with a sadness that I couldn’t hide like I normally do.

As if Josh sensed the change in my mood, he completely turned his body to face mine. I could tell that he positioned his head to get me to look at him. I locked eyes with him and it was like I could actually see the wheels in his head turning. 

“How long will you be in Nashville?” he asked.

“For four nights. I had to take two days off from work, but I’m looking forward to it,” I said with a forced smile.

“You don’t sound like someone who is excited to attend a bachelorette party,” he said.

“It’s just a lot, but I am excited for Riley,” I said trying to convince the both of us that I really was excited.

“What do you do for work?” he asked while continuing to hold eye contact. As I stared into his dark brown eyes, I studied the long lashes that I would kill to have. 

“I teach 9th grade English,” I responded.

“Smart, beautiful, arrogant, and a world changer. A difference maker. One who shapes the minds of our youth. You’re a hero to our doomed society,” he said. I felt my cheeks redden as I processed the way he just described my job. I don’t normally feel appreciated at work, not even at home. It felt good to have someone remind me of my purpose. 

“Sometimes I feel like I’m just a glorified babysitter,” I said with a nervous laugh.

“You should never feel that way. I think you have one of the most important jobs in the world. I’m just a concert photographer,” he said with a tone that I couldn’t quite place.

“Thank you. I appreciate it,” I said, finally giving into a real smile. I watched his eyes fall to my mouth and I could feel a million butterflies in my stomach. Why does he have such an effect on me? I shook the thoughts from my head as I opened the Southwest app to see how much longer our flight had. A little over one hour to go with a stranger who makes me feel better about myself than anyone has in years. Maybe I should take a nap.

“What’s on the agenda for your bachelorette weekend? Bars and strippers?” he asked with a smile.

“Definitely the strippers. That’s a necessity,” I responded with a smirk.

“Well, when I’m not taking pictures at concerts, I happen to moonlight as an exotic dancer,” he said returning the smirk I gave.

“I’m sure you make more money taking pictures,” I said biting my lip.

“First you physically assaulted me and now you’ve verbally assaulted me,” he said. 

“I’m sorry,” I said, covering my face from the embarrassment of inadvertently insulting him.

“No, you’re right. The crowd usually pays me to keep my clothes on,” he said tilting his head down in shame. Unlikely.

“What’s your stripper name?” I asked. Before he could answer, the plane suddenly dropped in altitude. I heard screams from the rows behind us. I gasped and grabbed his hand before shutting my eyes. The turbulence was over quickly as everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at the same time. I slowly opened my eyes to realize everything was ok. I didn’t realize I was still holding Josh’s hand until he asked, “Are you ok?”

“Yes, sorry about that,” I said as I quickly jerked my hand back to my lap.

“No need to apologize for the hand-holding. It was nice while it lasted,” he said with a wink.

“Who was the first person to cross your mind when you felt the plane drop?” I asked him in a serious tone.

Without hesitation, he responded, “My mom.”

“Tell me about her,” I said.

“She’s the most important person on the planet,” he said looking at his hands. “She has given up so much for me and I hope I make her proud.”

“I’m sure you do,” I said while trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I’m not sure if my nerves were shot from the temporary panic or if his sentiment was getting to me. 

“Who did you think of?” he asked.

“Honestly… I thought of myself,” I admitted with shame.

“Really? Elaborate on that,” he said as I could tell he was giving me his full attention.

“I’m sure I sound narcissistic, but I thought I was about to die without having lived, and then I’d leave a legacy of nothing behind,” I said with a sigh.

“I know I don’t know you. Shit, I don’t even know your name. But, I can tell that your death would most definitely leave an impact on people,” he said.

“Nothing like discussing death with a total stranger,” I said with a light laugh.

“Death doesn’t scare me. I know it’s not the end. I just enjoy my life and the love I can give to the world while I’m here in my physical form. The love I provide won’t leave when I fade away,” he said. I stared at him like I just heard one of the most philosophical phrases come from another person’s mouth in years. He’s insightful and adorable.

“I got that from a song, by the way. It’s on the playlist I downloaded to your phone. Don’t be too impressed,” he said with a laugh.

“Ah, plagiarism,” I said.

“That’s actually my stripper name,” he said with a smirk. 

“Now I definitely know you aren’t making any money,” I said, trying not to laugh.

“How about I give you a glimpse of my routine and you tell me what I can do to improve my shtick to make more money?” he asked.

Stunned by his foreward remark, I immediately felt guilt running through my veins. This is the most flirting I’ve had since high school. I’m not used to this sort of attention. I looked down at my hands in my lap. 

“I’m sorry if that was too much. I–” Josh began to say.

“No, no it’s ok. I was just worried I wouldn’t have enough money in my purse to get you to keep your clothes on once you started,” I said stifling a giggle. 

“Alright just kick a man while he’s down,” he said as he clutched his hands over his heart. He threw his head back acting like he was wounded and I eyed his neck. His adam’s apple protruded, making me feel weak. 

“I wonder if there is a doctor on board to help you,” I said sarcastically looking around the plane.

Suddenly he rose out of his seat and shouted, “Is there a doctor in the house?”

Completely stunned, I stared at him with wide eyes. I cannot believe he just did that. I watched a flight attendant quickly make his way over to our row. Oh my God.

“Sir, are you having a medical emergency?” the flight attendant asked him. Next to the attendant stood Josh’s assistant, the angry man who changed his seat earlier. 

“No, no, I am ok now. Sorry for the alarm,” he said, trying not to laugh. His assistant rolled his eyes and quickly returned back to his middle seat. I’m sure he is used to Josh’s antics by now. The flight attendant gave a displeased look to both of us before walking away. I felt like I had just received punishment for a crime I didn’t do. Guilty by association. 

“That was so not funny!” I exclaimed with a sigh.

“I can’t help myself sometimes,” he said with a smile. This dude is nuts.

“You’re a lunatic,” I said, getting my headphones back out.

“No, wait. I am sorry,” he said. “I’ll move back over to the window seat and leave you alone,” he said with a sense of shame in his voice. I put my headphones in as I watched him change seats then position his body to where he was looking out the window. I was no longer in his line of vision. I opened my Spotify app and his Greta Van Fleet playlist was there. I hesitated. I wanted to listen to another song but I also wanted to block this guy from my mind and listen to my own music. Against my better judgment, I selected “Light My Love” from the playlist. I closed my eyes and listened to one of the most beautiful songs I had ever heard.

Chapter Three

I was six songs deep into this playlist when I felt someone tap on my arm. I reluctantly opened my eyes for I was enjoying being in a complete and utter trance of this band. Josh looked sheepish as I removed my headphones. 

“Do you care to let me out to use the bathroom? I really need to stretch my legs,” he said. Without responding, I shifted my body and moved my legs into the aisle to give him a clear walkway. He shuffled past me and I got a whiff of his cologne again. He smells so damn good. Maybe I’m being irrational for giving him the silent treatment. I’m 26-years-old but I’m acting like I’m 12. I decided to act more civil once he returned to our row. I don’t want to look too anxious, but I couldn’t help but watch the bathroom door awaiting his return. After what felt like an eternity, I decided to do something irrational. I can be crazy too. I took my headphones off and left them in the seat as I shoved my phone in my jeans pocket. I stood up and started to make my way to the bathroom to check on him. As I got closer to the door, it opened and he exited. I wanted to retreat back to my seat from pure embarrassment, but there was nowhere to turn. He looked up at me and scrunched his eyebrows together like he was confused. As he should be. I decided to try to play it off that I needed to use the restroom rather than run back to my seat like I desperately wanted to. As he moved past me, his body brushed against mine and I felt every nerve from my toes to my scalp tingle. I felt like I could no longer breathe. I made my way into the tiny bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. “Get it together,” I said aloud to my reflection. I took a few deep breaths and made my way back to my seat. I made the mistake of looking at him because his deep brown eyes were once again locked on mine. A shiver immediately ran through me. I sat back down in my aisle seat and tried to think of something to ease the awkward tension.

“What has been your favorite song off the playlist?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“That’s difficult to say. I have genuinely loved all of the ones I’ve listened to so far,” I said with a smile. His cheeks almost looked like they were a new shade of pink. Was he blushing? I quickly added, “Thank you for sharing this band with me.”

“Thank you for listening,” he said back with a smile. I bit my lip as I felt like the awkward tension was over. However, a new tension was forming. 

I checked the Southwest app and realized we were set to land very soon. I put my headphones back in my purse as a sign that I was ready to talk to him. He picked up on my cue because he quickly switched seats again. His cologne hit me and if I hadn’t been sitting, I may have collapsed. He buckled his seat belt just before the overhead light signaled us to do so. 

“What’s the first thing you and your friends are doing tonight?” he asked.

“Actually, I am flying in a day earlier than everyone, so I have the Airbnb alone until everyone flies in tomorrow,” I said. I suddenly realized that I shouldn’t have told a stranger that I was going to be staying alone in an unfamiliar city, but the words had already left my lips. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Really?” he said as he sat up straight in his seat. I nodded but then looked away. I can’t believe I just overshared this information with him.

“If you’d like some company…” he said quietly. I quickly turned my head back to him. I was dreading another night by myself, especially without Sassy. Riley said I could FaceTime her tonight, but I didn’t want to bother her while she finished packing and getting her stuff together. I was going to use the time to decorate the place before her arrival anyways. 

I stammered, “Josh, I–” 

“How about dinner? I can take you to some of my favorite places in town. What do you like to eat?” he asked with a big smile. The idea of not being alone was tempting and as frustrating as he had been at times, I really did enjoy his company. 

Before I could give him an answer, I felt our plane touch the ground as we braced for a complete stop. This was always my least favorite part about flying. 

“I really need to decorate the Airbnb and unpack. I’d like to get settled in rather than go out. Plus, I don’t have a vehicle,” I finally responded as the sounds of seat belts unbuckled around us.

“If it’s not too forward, I could always come over and cook for you. I can bring some groceries and wine, or whatever else you’d like to drink. I can even help you decorate. You can’t spend your first night in Nashville alone,” he said. 

I mulled over his offer as people around us began to stand up and form a line in the center aisle as they collected their luggage from the overhead compartments. Josh appeared not to be in any hurry to leave, nor was I. 

“Fine. But I want to text your full name, picture, vehicle description, and phone number to Riley in case I go missing,” I said with a matter-of-fact tone.

He laughed nervously and then said, “Give me your phone.” I put in my passcode and handed it to him. He stared at my background, a picture of Sassy and me, before opening the contacts app. “I’m giving you my number so you can text me your address when you’re ready for me to come over to cook you dinner,” he said as he was typing. I watched the plane empty row by row until it felt like we were the last two remaining on board. I noticed his assistant standing in the aisle waiting on Josh. “I think you’re going to get an earful when you get off the plane,” I said, eyeing the angry-looking man. 

“I usually do,” he said with a smile as he passed my phone back to me. I glanced down at the contact name that read Plagiarism with the winky face emoji. I covered my mouth as I laughed loudly. 

“Ahem,” we both heard his assistant clear his throat as he began tapping his foot impatiently.

“Ok, I think it’s time to go,” I said as I grabbed my purse and stepped into the aisle to let him out. While Josh exited his seat, he stood so close that I could smell his delicious scent again. I watched him open the compartment and get our luggage out. He lifted the handle of my suitcase and handed it to me. I smiled at his kindness, avoiding eye contact, because I had about all that I could stand.

We made our way down the center aisle following his assistant off of the plane. Before he stepped inside the airport, I watched as he put his sunglasses back on. Weird. 

“I’ll be anxiously waiting for your text,” he said to me as he pulled his hat down a little further over his face. Before he walked away, he said, “I’ll send you all of the info you need for Riley when I hear from you,” with a wink.

I made my way down to ground transportation and requested an Uber to take me to the Airbnb. I sent Kenneth a text to let him know that I had landed, but I texted Riley that I was going to call her ASAP. I needed her advice now more than ever. I knew I was treading in dangerous waters by allowing that adorable, frustrating, sexy, funny, crazy stranger to come over, but something made me want to be around him. I may be in too deep, but I’ve always been a strong swimmer.

[lonely-lost-soul]

A Pirate's Life for Me

Cover Art Done By: @fridaydev-draws and @friday-dsv (Dreamsmp x reader) Pirate Au! Love Interests: C!Wilbur, C!Techno, C!Dream, C!Sapnap, C!Quackity, and C!Schlatt

~~~

Salt burned your lungs as you tossed open your window with a loud bang, the seagulls perching on your flower boxes screeched in protest and flew from your window. “Fucking sky rats get the fuck out of here you heathens!” You snarled out the window shaking your fist at the bothersome birds, the sounds of the ocean crashing on the shore filled your ears as well as the chatter of the dock workers. You let the breeze blow back your hair and you heard someone calling your name from down below.

“Good morning (Y/n)!” You glanced below you and grinned,

“Morning Eret!” They waved back enthusiastically their dress spilling around their ankles, a basket of fruit was balanced on his hip. “Opening early today? I'm sure your patrons would be happy to start their drunken stupor early,” She held a hand to his mouth snickering and you shot them a look.

“If that gets more money in my pocket then so be it, I won't complain too much.” You shrugged, “Will I still see you later tonight?”

“Always do dove, how can I resist a drink from my favorite bartender.”

“You can’t it’s my charm.”

“Will the both of you shut the fuck up!” Another man’s voice growled from another open window, “It’s too early for your bullshit.” You saw Eret click his tongue but smiled up at you despite the man's protests,

“I’m heading to the market anyway. These fruits won’t sell themselves, I'll see you later.”

“See you soon!” You closed your windows once more, but not before urging your daisies to grow one last time. You tossed open the curtains allowing light to spill into your cozy home, a small carpet was in the middle of your room. It was a deep red and the pattern was made of gold yarn, aside from that everything in your residency was made of dark wood. Your shelves were littered with books and empty cups, and your old worn journal sat open on your desk. It was filled with childhood memories and you continued to write in it to this day, it was easier then, things were simple and everything was innocent and new to you. Now your days were filled with sea fairing idiots who liked to drink themselves stupid, but you could handle yourself, you always kept your father's dagger on your thigh at all times. Those who were frequent customers knew not to mess with you and those who were new learned their lesson within the first ten minutes of meeting you. You inherited the bar from your father, a kindhearted man who died a few years before today, leaving you with the bar and the dagger you had on your hip. You fished through your closet pulling out your clothes for the day, your dress was a gorgeous light coffee color and came down to your ankles. The bottom was flared and had dark brown panels on the sides, it faded inward to a light green then back to the coffee color. The corset around your waist was a dark brown with light green trim, you tied it tight with a small huff making sure your waist was sinched perfectly. The sleeves came down to your elbows allowing you to move your arms freely while making drinks. The top of the dress ended just below your collarbone, you strapped your dagger to your thigh before lacing up your knee-high black boots.

You thought back to your tavern downstairs, you were fortunate enough that you weren’t running this entire operation yourself. You ended up hiring help and they were like family and you knew they saw you as such as well. Most of the girls didn’t have a family of their own so you gave them room and board, also money, of course, you weren’t a terrible boss! You opened the door to your room, you watched Cecil, the tavern’s mascot trot out of Juniper’s room. The border collie liked to switch up which rooms he stayed in protecting every one of your girls when you couldn’t be there for them.

The first of your girls was Adelaide or Addie, she was one of the first to fall under your care. She was around your age, a motherly type, sheep hybrid, who cared for the girls, and always gave the drunk patrons with mommy issues a shoulder to cry on. Her long brown hair always hung down her back, she typically worked tables, served food and drinks, and always got a generous tip from patrons.

The next girl was Judas, a squid-enderman hybrid who was taller than you could ever wish to be, although intimidating you couldn’t meet a kinder woman. A jack of all trades the woman helped out wherever she could, black-ish purple hair curled around her shoulders and some people came specifically to hear her sing. Her voice was like rich velvet and lured men and women in like a siren.

Juniper was after Judas, a demon hybrid who was naive but you’d be a fool to underestimate her. She worked beside you at the bar, she can make some mean fruity drinks, Eret always preferred her drinks over yours. Freckles adorned her face and shoulders, her light brown hair curled down to her middle back, purple horns sprouted from the top of her head. You wanted to adorn it with gold jewelry and you were saving up to gift some to her.

Yeti was a human woman like yourself, she didn’t bother with those who were rude or obnoxious. She kept to herself only really talking when she was spoken to or when there was an opportunity to crack a rare joke. She typically stayed on the sidelines, out of the scenes and Yeti liked to help Judas decorate her sets.

Zig was a kind young adult, they got along with everyone who came inside the tavern. Soft emerald eyes drew people in, and they tried to make sure tensions within the bar didn’t rise and start a fight. There would always be one or two that’s just natural, but one look at Zig and his magic words and they seemed to disperse, not wanting to hurt the kid’s feelings.

Vendetta was the tallest member of the group you had taken in, she was stunningly beautiful and didn't take shit from anybody. She was a guard dog if you will, making sure no one fucked with any of the girls in your tavern. While Zig did their best to keep people under control sometimes they couldn’t win. That’s when Ven would step in and ‘kindly’ escort them off the premises with or without force.

The youngest member here was Luvena. She was a moo-bloom hybrid with soft brown hair that sprouted flowers, her cow ears would twitch when she was excited and followed Addie around like she was her daughter. Addie took her under her wing and was training her to be a perfect little waitress, absolutely warming customers’ hearts. Luvena also loved to give out flowers, she was a fan favorite bringing new life into the tavern.

Cecil barked seeing his mama and scampered over to you, you poured food into his bowl as Juniper wandered into the hallway. Her head rested on the doorframe as she gave you a tried wave, “Morning (Y/n).”

“Morning Juni, We’re opening a little early today. Take your time I’m not expecting a big rush of bar patrons this early.” You assured her and she gave a sleepy nod,

“I’ll be down as soon as Ven’s out of the shower.” She yawned, “This beauty doesn’t come naturally.”

“Hardly darling you’re gorgeous just the way you are.” You reassured with a wink, Juniper flushed a little, happily laughing beside you.

“Just go wake the others will you, you flirt!”

Tossing your head back you gave a happy laugh heading down the hallway to make sure everyone was awake and ready to go for later. Addie and Luvena shared a room so she was in charge of waking up the youngest member of the tavern. Judas was already awake making breakfast for everyone when you headed downstairs, Zig was sitting on the counter beside her, they were the designated taste tester.

“Good morning Miss (Y/n)!” Zig chirped, the young adult hummed fondly, “Sleep okay?”

“Absolutely. What about you both? Thank you for making breakfast Judas.” You hummed fondly and Judas had a shy smile on her face.

“I slept well thank you.” Judas hummed softly, “Also it’s my pleasure. Want to make sure everyone’s healthy and alright.” She let out a little squeak as you wrapped your arms around her body, you barely came up to her chest,

“Judas please marry me,” You complained, “Your breakfast is always heavenly and you care for everyone. Please be my wife.”

“(Y/n)! Please.” She sputtered face turning a dark purple, Zig made a noise of protest and held his hand in the air.

“If she won’t marry you I will!”

“Zig! I’d be honored!”

Their entire face lit up with excitement and they hopped off the table to hug you tightly, you hugged them back and pressed a fond kiss to the top of their head. “I got to open up the tavern, you mind setting the table for me Zig?”

“Sure Miss!”

You sent Judas a kiss in the air which her face burned at, quickly going back to her cooking. You smiled eagerly and unlocked the door to the tavern, you shoved a bucket in front of the door to keep it open. The salty ocean air wafted through your nostrils and your eyes sparkled wondrously.

Today is going to be a good day.

Almost immediately a particular bastard caught your eye,

“You’re here early.” You mused raising an eyebrow,

“Heard you were opening early today sweetcheeks,” His voice was a low baritone, rough from years of smoking and drinking. Horns curled around his fluffy ears that stood out against his gruff exterior, he was a ram hybrid at its finest. “Figured I’d take the opportunity to get a special drink from my special girl,” He mused looking you up and down drinking in your figure. You scoffed at the retired man, he dressed like he was cosplaying captain jack sparrow, the gun’s in his belt just added to his costume and so did his large ruffled shirt, he was never one to forget his gold jewelry.

“Where’s Quackity?” You ignored him sitting him at his usual table, he frowned but you knew he was taking it as an opportunity to stare at your ass. He slid into the stool and put his feet up on the table, his boots were muddy but you could only control him so much. He was too much of a regular to get scared off by your threats and scolding.

“He’ll be in at his normal time. He’s not much of a day drinker, although can’t say I’m complaining. Having all your attention on me and all, considering I’m the only one in here. That being said, I’ll have my usual sweetcheeks.”

“Stop calling me that,” You scolded with a certain fondness that was reserved for the man. “You’re lucky you’re my favorite regular Schlatt,” you gave his ears a fond pinch and he bleated. He sent you a scalding look as you walked away, although the look soon fell as he got a good look at your ass once again.

“I’m your only regular sugar tits!”

“Schlatt feet off the table.” Addie criticized whacking his boots with a rolled-up menu, he rolled his eyes but dropped his feet to the floor. “You should know this by now, we go through this every day.”

“Yeah, yeah little lamb I’m on it. Judas here?”

“She’s always here,” She huffed spreading the menu down on the table. “Do you want your usual or something different? Should I get Quackity’s drink ready too?”

“Nah just stick with mine, for now, tell Judas I’d like to see her.”

Addie clicked her tongue and placed her hand on her hip, “fine. But if you’re just going to grossly flirt with her as you do with (y/n), then keep it to yourself.”

“You’re not the boss of me. Just because you look like an old hag-” The way she glared at him sent a chill down his spine, “shit babe take a joke will you.”

Eventually, people began to file into the tavern, as the morning faded into the afternoon and then into the evening. The tavern was bustling with life, Judas’s elegant voice traveled through the crowds and her voices seemed to float above the voices. Quackity joined Schlatt by his side seemingly irritated by a conversation they were having, Schlatt was about five drinks in at this point, which was much less than his usual, and Quackity on his second.

“What are they talking about?” Luvena asked swinging her legs as she sat on the bar beside you. Her moobloom ears twitching every so often as she tried to eavesdrop on their conversation,

“Vena it’s impolite to eavesdrop.” You scolded bopping her on the head lightly, she whined and rubbed the top of her head.

“I wasn’t!” She argued as you rolled your eyes, you looked over at the two men to find Quackity looking over at you. His hand was raised in the air, one finger was up summoning you to get him another drink.

“I’ll be back, why don’t you talk to Ven while I’m gone. She’ll keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Good thing she doesn’t want to babysit your ass either, now shoo.” You motioned her to hop off the bar and she did so with a long, dramatic sigh. You looked over at Ven who gave you a silent nod, letting you know she’d watch out for the youngest member of your band of misfits. Meanwhile, you grabbed Quackity another drink and walked over to the two men at the table, “Someone order a drink?”

“Aye! Mamacita! Fancy seeing you here.” Quackity purred a bright smile spreading across his face seeing that you were the one to deliver his drink,

“Hey Big Q,” You greeted placing the drink in front of him, “You doing okay?”

“Better now that an angel walked into my sight,” He flirted and you rolled your eyes. “What? It’s true! You always brighten my day you know? Ow!” Schlatt hit his ex-first mate over the head,

“Take a breath lover boy. Thanks for the drink sugar tits.”

“You’re welcome, what were the both of you talking about if I may ask.” You hummed grabbing some of Schlatt’s empty glasses, an uncharacteristic frown came over both their faces. “Oh? Touchy subject?”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Just dishing out some old problems, most of which are better left unsaid.” He aimed that statement at Quackity, his jaw seemed clenched and Quackity’s brow furrowed in annoyance.

“Well I just want to remind the both of you,” You passed the tray of empty glasses over to Addie as she walked by, she took them swiftly. You grabbed the side of both their heads and pressed them against your chest, not that you knew but both men’s flushed to the tips of their ears. “No physical fights are allowed in this tavern. If one starts I won’t hesitate to kick your fucking asses. Got it?” They looked over your chest and locked eyes with one another, after years on the sea they could read one another’s facial expressions rather easily and at that moment they shared the same thought,

‘They should fight more often.’

“I said, got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” The repeated simultaneously as you pulled away,

“That’s what I like to hear-”

“(Y/n)!” Vendetta’s velvety voice called out from behind you, you turned and saw a group of newcomers file into your bar. Your body tensed momentarily,

Pirates.

Schlatt turned his head to follow your gaze and he tensed from behind you, “fuck me.” He growled and Quackity raised an eyebrow at his captain, he turned to look over his shoulder and his face lit up.

“Sapnap!”

The pirate who had a white bandana tied around his forehead glanced over at him and a smile lit up across his features. “Quackity? Is that you?”

“My man!” He stood up from his chair heading over to wrap the man in a hug, “I haven’t seen you in years, man.” You zoned out of their conversation eyes locking with a few of the other pirates who walked into the tavern. Vendetta and Addie both greeted them, but everyone who was under your care knew to keep their guard up around pirates. From what you could gather there seemed to be two crews, a crew of what only seemed to be two, Sapnap was included. The fire demon was still talking with Quackity, while the other man took in the view of the tavern, he had shaggy blonde hair, and had a few scars across his face. A porcelain mask sat on top of his head, a forest green cloak was around his shoulders, his hood was lowered around his neck. A sword was strapped tight against his hip and there was another dagger that seemed to be tucked against his side. His eyes gazed towards you and he winked teasingly with a coy smile, you scoffed looking over at Addie.

“Seat those two gentlemen yeah? Be careful, I’ll tell Ven and Yeti to keep an eye.” Addie looked at you, concern written on her soft features but she nodded. While Addie departed, you noticed Ven talking with the other group. Luvena was hiding behind Vendetta’s long legs, although a tall blonde boy seemed very keen on talking to her. You smoothed out your dress and moved towards the group of three, you eyed them up casually. The blonde looked to be around Luvena’s age, he had a shit-eating grin on his face and his uniform matched that of the second tallest in the group. The second tallest was clad in a light blue jacket with large golden buttons on the red collar. He had a cream-frilled shirt underneath and a black belt holding up his brown slacks, those were tucked into black boots. On his back seemed to be a guitar and was the only one of them not holding a weapon, but you knew better than to assume with pirates. His curly brown hair seemed to bounce every time he talked, he seemed to be the ringleader but there was no doubt that the real ringleader was the hybrid standing beside him. He was taller, on par with Vendetta in height, he had long pink hair that was tied in a ponytail on top of his head. A few pieces framed his face elegantly, there was no doubt he was the captain of the little crew that was in your tavern. He had a white shirt on with a deep low cut ‘V’ it showed off a good portion of his scared chest, around his shoulders sat a deep red jacket but his arms were outside of it and crossed over his chest. He seemed content on letting his second in command do all the talking, his red eyes were the only ones to meet yours. His head tilted upwards and before Vendetta could stop him he walked over towards you,

“You own the tavern?” His voice was a low monotone and it sent an array of pleasant chills up your spine.

“I do,” You raised an eyebrow crossing your arms over your chest, “Names (Y/n). You are?”

“Captain Technoblade of the ship Odyssey, I was hoping you had a few rooms and a table available. My brothers and I are pretty exhausted, we’ve been sailing all night.”

Brothers, they certainly didn’t all look alike, but then again you certainly had a mix of girls in your care. Your tongue swiped against the top row of your teeth, “Why don’t you and your brothers take a seat at the bar for now. Juniper will be happy to serve you, I’ll see if we have some free rooms available.”

“Thank you, once you return I’ll introduce them to you if you’d like,” Technoblade bowed his head before turning back to get his brother’s attention.

“I’d like that thank you.” You gave a nod motioning for Vendetta to follow you as you slid behind the bar with Juniper, Judas had also taken a spot sitting on the bar. You figured you’d let her know as well, considering she was another adult figure in the group. You knew either Juniper or Judas would fill in Addie considering the three were close. “Ven, can they be trusted?”

“Not too sure about the masked man, the one Quackity seems to be familiar with seems decent enough. He’s a fire demon though, could smell him from miles away, we all just need to be cautious.”

“Agreed,” Juniper added tapping her finger on her chin. “We should just try to curb all fighting if at all possible, what did the captain of the other group ask you?”

“They want a room, I’m about to check to see if we have availability. Thoughts on that?”

Judas let out a low hum her eyes followed both sets of pirate groups around the tavern, “I say if we have availability let them stay. They seem harmless so long as we don’t mess with them, which we’d never do.”

“Plus I can always stay awake to keep an eye on them.” Vendetta tapped her nails against the table,

“You sure.”

“As if I’d let anything happen to any of you, you’re my family.”

You all smiled softly, and you noticed Judas’s eyes widen, “Zig! Get that out of your mouth this instant!” She shot up from her spot and over to the person in question. The three of you laughed fondly at the nonsense, meanwhile, Juniper saw the three brothers sit at her bar. She moved away from you to greet them, you immediately could tell she was taken with the second eldest brother.

He seemed to be an absolute lady killer.

Vendetta ruffled your hair before going back to stand at her place by the door to keep the peace. You headed up the stairs to the rafters to check on the extra rooms you had, “Excuse me?” You tensed visibly turning around to face the man in all green. His eyes were mesmerizing, a fierce jade green to contrast his cloak, “Do you happen to have two rooms available?” The man held up two fingers to clarify his request,

“Do you usually start introductions with a blatant request like that?”

He chuckled a smile spreading across his lips, “I’m Dream and you gorgeous?”

“(Y/n), it’s your lucky day I’m about to check and see if any are available. My tavern is a hot commodity tonight.”

“Well, I can see why,” he spoke and you raised an eyebrow and tilted your head to the side.

“Oh?”

“It has the hottest owner around. Word spreads fast.”

You couldn’t believe this man was making your cheeks burn, he chuckled softly taking a step towards your figure. “Oh really, word spreads that fast on the open sea, Captian?” It was his turn to turn light pink, but he covered it up quickly with a chuckle.

“Touché.”

“I’ll get on that room for you and your friend. Take a seat, for now, this part is for guests and staff only you know?”

“So I have you all to myself?” He cheekily mused, he stepped towards you and before you knew it you were pinned against a wall. His hand suddenly brushed against your cheek, it was cold in comparison to your warm cheek. You felt Dream’s thumb brush against your cheek slowly, “You know...being on the open sea alone does something to a person.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” You mused pushing your forehead back against Dream’s, “All alone with only your crew with you.” Taking his other hand within your own you slid it up to your hip, you saw his entire face turn red as he stared down at your chest. “You’re probably missing a little love in your life, aren’t you Dreamy?” He nodded dumbly, his eyes still not leaving your chest,

Perfect. You weren’t going to let some pirate boy get the better of you.

He let out a grunt of pain as you spun him around and pressed his head into the wall with your elbow, your other hand has his pinned behind his back. “This hallway is for staff and guests only,” You purred in his ear before letting him go and swinging your hips before heading up the stairs fully. From behind you, Dream’s face was a deep, dark red and he had to clear his throat. Dream wasn’t going to let you go after that, I mean look at you, tough and able to hold your own, it awakened something inside him.

After checking up on the rooms you headed back down into the main hall, three-room keys in your hand. Glancing over at the scene in front of you, you saw Juniper dancing in the middle of the tavern the flirtatious brother at her side. Judas was sitting beside Schatt and Quackity at the bar, Addie was tending to Technoblade and the blonde at their little table. Dream and Sapnap were whispering to one another in the corner but still seemed to be enjoying the show. Vendetta was smiling softly by the door, beside her were Luvena and Zig both playing various instruments. You noticed Eret was also amongst the crowd, she had a brilliant grin on his face, it was flushed pink with alcohol and you smiled to yourself.

It was peaceful, and for a moment you forget half the patrons were scoundrels or pirates.

That was until the man dancing with Juniper locked eyes with you, his eyes lit up and he spun Juniper off into Addie’s arms. She giggled snuggling into the mother sheep’s arms, you heard a distressed “Juni! I’m holding glasses!” Before your vision was overtaken by the handsome flirt.

“Hello love,” He hummed, “May I offer you a dance?”

You were about to refuse but you saw Yeti, who finally made her appearance as it was getting closer to Judas’s set, giving you a big thumbs up “I’d be honored.” You responded taking his hand within your own, he pulled you out onto the dance floor and you felt his other hand politely hover on the small of your back. He allowed you to lean into his touch as he began to elegantly spin you around the dance floor, you were almost embarrassed to say felt like a princess. “Maybe I could get your name?” You asked above the music, “Since it seems you’re my dance partner this evening?”

“Wilbur Soot my love.” He hummed proudly, “The first mate of the ship Odysseus at your service. Plus I play music on the side.”

“Well now you need to play for us,” Wilbur twirled you around in a circle,

“Maybe one day. If you give me your name?”

“(Y/n) (L/n).”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

“I was right.” You commented biting the bottom of your lip trying not to smile,

“About what?”

“You.”

“Ah? Already talking about me I see? Is my manliness and gentlemanly qualities that renowned?”

“Not exactly.” He picked you up slightly and pulled you into a low dip, “I was right in thinking you a nothing but a flirty playboy.” Wilbur almost dropped you, you squawked grabbing onto his neck. He began to laugh as you clung to his chest,

“Alright love. You caught me red-handed.”

Wilbur set you on your feet hands on your lower back, you were pulled close to his chest. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“I get them for free hon. I own the place.”

“Oh...oh.” He paled a little, “I didn’t fuck up our chances of getting a room did I?”

“Nah lucky for you and your brothers, I have you covered, same with your buddies over there.” You motioned to Dream and Quackity’s friend, Wilbur’s face paled as he felt the chilled room key get placed in his palm. “What’s your little brother’s name?”

“Tommy.”

“Tell them both we serve breakfast free from 7 am to 10 am.” He nodded as you walked past, Wilbur meanwhile turned to look at Technoblade. It seemed he had his red eyes on the couple the entire time they were dancing. He held up a room key, it was labeled 205; Technoblade nodded his head before leaning back and talking to Addie once more. “Dream!” You called throwing a hand up into the air, instead of Dream, Sapnap looked up he nudged Dream with his elbow. The man was now wearing his mask, but at least you could tell he was looking at you,

“Well hello, darlin’ you must be (Y/n). Name's Sapnap. Dream told me about you, so you have good news for us I hope?”

“Pleasure, I'm sure he told you all about me,” He nodded, his eyes taking in your body especially your ass. “Got you both a room key, your neighbors. Across from the other crew of pirates. Just don’t fight and we won’t have any problems.”

“You mean those jackasses are staying?” Sapnap complained loudly, looking over your shoulder at the other crew members.

“You both didn’t think you were the only patrons, did you? This is a business after all.” You, tossed the keys their way, Dream caught it with ease and Sapnap fumbled it only a little bit. After they were in their hands, you waved them off with a flutter of your palm you turned around to go speak with Judas about her set but before you could take a step you saw Schlatt stumbling up from his seat. “Ah shit,” You knew what was about to happen, you weren’t paying attention to the ram hybrid so who knew how many drinks in he was. You felt responsible, for a while you and Judas had been trying to help Schlatt with his addiction. You couldn’t help but wonder what exactly set him off for him to get this drunk, Quackity caught him in his arms with a grumble. The man was a drunken mess, and as you approached you could hear his slurred speech and could practically smell the alcohol on his breath. “Schlatt,” You spoke carefully and as soon as you got close Schlatt detached himself from Quackity and lunged at you. His head was buried in his chest, he almost purred like he was very happy to be there, you rolled your eyes and ran your fingers through his hair. You were mindful of his horns but he seemed pretty eager for you to touch them,

“(Y/n).” He whined although it was muffled against your ample chest, “Why do pirates have to fuck everything up?”

“What are you on about Schlatt? No one likes pirates.”

“They’re gonna take you away from me, sugar. You’re my safe space, this tavern is my safe space.” You sighed listening to his drunken ramblings, you grabbed his horns and pulled him away from your chest.

“This is my life Schlatt, I’m not going anywhere trust me. Plus my family is here, they need me. So try not to worry okay?” You slicked back the hair on his forehead before planting a fond kiss there, everyone in the tavern narrowed their eyes at the scene. Even your girls were green with envy, at the sight of their lovely boss kissing someone who wasn’t them. He leaned against your lips eyes fluttering closed,

“Well, well, well if it isn’t Captian Schlatt? Or ex-captain if I remember correctly.”

“What?”

You turned your head and felt Schlatt’s arms wrap around your waist and held you close to his chest. The touch was protective and you felt your heart skip a beat, why was he protecting you, and why did you actually feel protected?

“Has the drinking finally caught up to you? Or was it the fact that you lost your so-”

Was that Dream's voice?

“Shut the fuck up.” He snarled and you were shoved behind him into Quackity’s arms, you felt less protected. “I’m not that person anymore and you fucking know that,” Vendetta came to stand beside the both of you a hand was placed on your shoulder protectively. You knew she was desperately wanted to step in and you held up a hand to stop her.

“This isn’t good…” Quackity murmured, “They’re going to fight. Schlatt’s going to get himself fucking killed.”

“Calm yourself. We won’t let it get that far.” Ven grumbled eyeing you waiting for your signal. But you were lost in the conversation or argument, the two were having, you couldn’t believe Schlatt was a pirate. He was so...he just didn’t...he was a drunk okay? That didn’t exactly shout feared pirate to you!

“Oh, are you sure? I remember that look, that’s the look you’d get before you stomped someone’s lights out. No wonder your son disappeared under mysterious circumstances-” Dream was shoved against one of the poles holding up the building. He grunted and Schlatt’s arm was pulled back ready to punch, but his arm was stopped by smaller hands,

“Pardon me Mr. Schlatt but you know how we feel about fighting in our tavern.” Addie bubbled, she had a smile on her face but it wasn’t kind, it was full of warning.

“Get the fuck off me, sheepie. This doesn’t fucking concern you.” Schlatt shoved her away and as soon as his skin made contact with her body he made a sound of distress.

“(Y/n)...” Addie murmured quietly, your father’s dagger was embedded in Schlatt’s arm,

“Fucking hell you bitch!” He snarled baring his teeth, you glared at him twisting the dagger he yelled in agony.

“Touch one of my girls again and next time this dagger is going right into your back.” You ripped the dagger out, splattering the floor with blood. He grabbed his arm tightly and looked at you with slight betrayal in his yellow eyes. “I mean it Schlatt, Quackity take him home.” The man nodded looking at you longingly, he muttered a quiet ‘Sorry’ before escorting him out of your tavern. “You,” You glared harshly over at Dream, “Go to your room.”

“You’re not my mother.”

“Then find another play to stay.” You spat, he turned away and you looked over at Addie, “Are you alright?” Your voice turned tender as you cupped her cheeks. She nuzzled against your palms and nodded her head,

“I’m fine. You didn’t need to-”

“Yes, I did. No one messes with you. With any of you on my watch.”

The sheep hybrid made a little sound as her bottom lip trembled, she wrapped you in a tight hug which you accepted without hesitance. Judas walked over next and wrapped you both in her arms, pretty soon you were surrounded by your girls and Zig.

All of them had the same mindset: comforting both you and Addie.

It was good to be loved.

Wilbur watched the scene curiously and glanced over at Technoblade who stood up from his chair.

“I think that’s our cue to leave for the night.” He looked over at his first mate, Wilbur nodded in agreement grabbing his guitar from the chair beside Technoblade.

“They...Techno were they talking about Tubbo.” Tommy whispered to his brother, his brow furrowing in concern as they all climbed the steps up to their room, “You don’t think-”

“It just might be Tommy.” Technoblade tilted his head to the side, “Guess that’ll be something we ask him when we get back to the ship tomorrow.”

“Well, this trip is going to be way more fun than I thought.” Wilbur snickered lighting a cigarette, taking a long drag, before letting the smoke curl out of his mouth and up into the rafters. ~~~

Tag List: @v01dw4lk3rz, @jam-bombs, @abovenyx, @glitterydigitalart, @phoenixaesthetic19, @luluwinchester, @boiled-onionrings, @pastelmoonwitche, @roxy3457, @alovestruck-fool, @victory-is-here, @mack4676, @fiorenc, @theoneandonlyyeti, @bloodrose0723, @sandyy-woo,

[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

[only-here-for-jatp]

Build-a-Band pt 5 Lukas and Jules

Part 5 is up!

Featuring: Luke POV, Luke building a Julie, and Reggie building a Luke

Not going to lie, not my best chapter. Little sleepy. HOWEVER, some chapters now have pictures at the bottom of the bears (sans outfits) that I’m referencing.

As always read on Ao3 here

And below! ~2300 words

Luke adored watching the faces of his bandmates as they shared Alexander the bear. Reggie was lit up like the sun, and somehow shone even brighter after rendering Alex speechless while he gently swept his fingers over the bear. Alex looked to be slightly in awe, not just in the surprising likeness to himself, but also at the care of thought that went into it.

He was only kidding, mostly, when he whined about Reggie not making him a stuffie. It was less because he needed a small stuffed animal version of himself, but more because he really wanted Reggie to want to make him one. He understood though, why Reggie would make one for Alex rather than him.

Alex had always gravitated towards soft things. For as long as the boys had known him there was something soft and cuddly nearby whether it be a stuffed animal, a blanket, or even just a sweatshirt. Reggie was much the same, although he tried to hide it significantly more than Alex did. Both of them loved such things, looked to them in an instinctual way for comfort.

Luke didn’t have that kind of attachment to soft cuddly things. It certainly that he wasn’t cuddly enough, in fact he was probably the cuddliest of the bunch, but even when he was little, he’d always chosen to cuddle people instead. In fact, he craved being in constant contact with another human being. When he’d been five it’d been his mom, he’d wrap around her leg or crawl into her lap and she’d whisper to him the secrets of the universe.

When he was ten it was Reggie. He’d follow him around, tugging on the bottom of his shirt as Reggie chatted at him in high speed. Mostly though, Luke would grab Reggie’s hand and pull him along into shenanigans and adventures and things that ten-year-old boys get up to. Over the years, there were classmates that teased them, but Luke would just grip harder, stick his tongue out and call them jealous. After all, clearly nobody wanted to hold their hands.

In late middle school, they found Alex. Soon it was cuddle piles on the floor or the couch. Pretty much anywhere all three of them could fit. That was actually most places since all three boys were fairly creative and very few sense of boundaries. It was Alex who he would hug as if it was a lifeline, the only thing keeping him standing, after fights with his mom. It was the three of them linking fingers, hands, arms, ready to defy the world where everyone they trusted, everyone they needed to protect them failed.

He would never dream of mocking the boys for their love of all things soft and cuddly. He figured he’d had his own teddy bears in a way, they just happened to be the very alive, and now very dead, Alex and Reggie.  Instead he watched with a soft smile at Reggie tried to hide his joy at Alex refusing to put Alexander down and getting to go back to Build a Bear the next day. The best moment had when he caught Alex teaching Alexander to play the drums when he thought no one was looking. Yup, his brothers were the most adorable and soon they would all have stuffies of each other to play with, and for that he was incredibly excited.

Luke wasn’t entirely sure what to expect when he poofed into Build a Bear the next morning, but walls covered with animals of all shapes colors and sizes was certainly not it. He could feel Reggie literally vibrating next to him and Luke’s excitement and energy was feeding off it. Oh yes, the kid in a candy store feeling was coming over him. Something about these stuffies felt different. Instead of lifeless stares, it almost felt as if they were alive and gazing fondly at the joy they were bringing to the three ghost boys and the smirking human girl.

He glanced at Julie and was unsurprised to see a soft smile and shimmering eyes as she took them all in. Alex had wandered off to the shelves mesmerized and before he could process what was happening Reggie was dragging him all around the store pointing out cool this and cool that and AHHH did you see. Luke was smiling and hanging on for the ride.

Or he was until he saw the dogs. There was one, like a border collie almost with fire sticking out all over the place and he heard himself scream before he realized the words were his. OHMYGAWD IT’S SO FLUFFY I’M GOING TO DIE.

At this point Julie and Reggie were doubled over and cackling at him while Alex barely spared him a quizzical look. He harumphed. He’d never gotten the appeal before! Not when he’d had Reggie and Alex so he had…. never mind he didn’t want to do THAT math… years to catch up on! He walked over to lightly punch Reggie in the arms as he slowly managed to stop laughing.

He meandered away, peering in all the boxes with Reggie following closely behind him. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he figured he would know it when he saw it. It wasn’t long before Reggie was tugging at his shirt.

“Dude! Dude!” Reggie pointed at a soft caramel brown bear with big sewn in eyes. “It’s you!!” At first glance Luke agreed, it did kind of remind him of him, but as he got closer, he realized that this bear was slightly smaller than the other bears. Which of course is when Luke read the name “Lil’ Cub Brownie”.

Luke whispered yelled “I AM NOT THAT SHORT! I AM 5’8” WHICH IS A PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE HEIGHT”

Reggie just looked at him, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips. “Let’s see what Julie thinks.” He called out to the girl watching them with amusement. “Hey Jules, how tall would you say Luke is?”

She gave Luke a quick up and down. Pondered it softly as her eyebrows scrunched up. “Hmmm…. 5’4”?”

Luke could feel the shock, horror, and betrayal coursing through him. “I AM 5’8”!” Julie looked at him quizzically “Are you sure?”

Luke let out a groan of frustration as Reggie picked up the small bear shaped lump and winked at him. He grabbed Reggie’s elbow and dragged him along scanning the aisles for something that might even mildly resemble Julie.

He’d passed this bear three times. He still didn’t like it, didn’t even think it looked like Julie, yet something about it kept giving him pause. It was a pale lilac color and it might be the softest thing he’d ever touched. The purple was kind of nice, but he knew Julie was a more vibrant purple like the dress she’d worn on the Orpheum and while her eyes could melt him to the core, she had a strength that astounded him. The bear kind of felt like Julie lite. A shadow or figment of her.

There was something weird with its eyes too like it had winged eyeliner. He knew every now and again Julie wore her make-up like that, but it didn’t really seem to be her. Julie was at her Juliest when in mismatched pajamas and her fluffy dinosaur slippers, her hair flowing freely and a soft song singing from her lips. It was like she carried the warmth and the light with her and this bear just didn’t.

Yet this was the third time he was standing in front of this Anna? From Frozen? Bear and it was his best bet. Reluctantly he grabbed the blob of fabric and hoped along the way it could become more like her.

He and Reggie made their way over to where Alex and Julie were already sitting, waiting for the other to join them. He had to admit he wasn’t listening while Julie gave them some monologue. The bear just wasn’t sitting right with him and it took Reggie dragging him toward these red boxes to jar him from contemplation.

Luke glanced in to see all the little hearts and felt a smile lighting up his face. Identifying a heart for Julie, now that he could do. He smiled a little bit at Alex’s intense focus, as if finding the right heart was the same as defusing a bomb. He laughed at Reggie’s antics of digging through everything and moving hearts into different buckets, leaving not one unturned in his hunt. Every now and again Luke would let out a tease at the look on Alex’s face or be fake angry with Reggie when he scooped hearts on top of where Luke was looking.

This was really what he’d come for, this moment of pure joy with his family. Julie just kept shaking her head at them all. For a minute they were just three seventeen-year-old boys with their favorite girl building a bear.

It took him by surprise really, the flash of color. Soon though, he was digging with fervor trying to find the glimpse of deep royal purple he’d seen. After what felt like forever and a impending feeling of hopelessness he found it. Sitting at the bottom of the bin was a purple heart, almost exactly the color of Julie’s Orpheum dress. This, this was the one.

He cracked a smile at Reggie and waved it in his face as Reggie held up what had to be the most awkwardly looking heart he’d ever seen. Reg must have noted his look of confusion because he started to explain.

“I know it’s not the prettiest looking heart but look at all it’s gone through. It’s still surviving, it’s still functional, it’s still the biggest heart of anyone I know. This is the kind of heart that gives pieces of itself to mend others.” Reggie just keeps going borderline rambling as if he also doesn’t know where to stop until his voice drops almost to a whisper “This is a heart that fixes things and and and you fixed us.”

Luke gave Reggie the biggest grin as the warmth flew through him at his friend’s explanation. “It’s perfect Reg. Thank you.” Reggie’s thousand-watt smile was back as they all moved back towards the stuffing machine. He prompted Julie to do the magic, dragging him and Alex into the convincing, not that Julie needed it.

The wish stumped Luke briefly and he watched as Alex and Reggie seemed to do it with very little hesitation. Words and thoughts seemed to jumble in his mind before some started to align with startling clarity. They were lyrics? Either way he whisper sang them to the bear.

We say we're friends, we play pretend. You're more to me, we're everything Our voices rise and soar so high. We come to life when we're, In perfect harmony

By the time he finished, Alex had his new bear stuffed introducing him as William the Skater Bear and Reggie and Julie were whispering together while shooting him looks. Soon the caramel bear was growing and becoming real. Luke had to admit, despite the height issue, Reggie really had done a good job picking out the bear and as he screamed about a guitar for Lukas, Luke giggled and stepped up to the machine.

Julie raised an eyebrow at his choice and he grinned at her sheepishly and shrugged. Truthfully, he was a little nervous about it. What if he picked the wrong bear? What if it looked awful? Would she hate it? When he handed her the heart though, her eyes grew wide before dashing up to his. She squeezed it tight and watched as her face shifted to awe and a blush crept over her cheeks before she hurriedly finished the bear.

She handed the bear back to him and oddly enough Luke stared deeply into the bear’s eyes. A flicker of recognition passed through. That was Jules, through and through. He took one more glance at Julie, smiled, and called out “C’mon Jules time to accessorize!” He heard her giggle as he wandered over to the clothes section.

In the end, he managed to convince Julie to let him bring home two outfits for Jules. One was a sparkly purple fairy dress with a black leather jacket and a microphone to match, the other was a pair of pajamas with monster slippers. They’d rationalized it as needing a band outfit, but also a cuddlier one.

For a brief moment, he and Reggie switched bears so Luke could hold onto Lukas. Reggie had managed to find denim pants with a band tshirt and a beanie. Reggie swore up and down that when they got home they could cut the sleeves off the bear’s shirt, but Luke was enamored with the little bear and his soft guitar that hung by a band off his hand. He nodded absently, agreeing with whatever Reggie said before pulling Lukas close into a tight hug.

A little voice that sounded remarkably like Reggie whispered into Luke’s head.

You are Lukas. Luke may prefer hugging people to stuffies, but it’s your job to make sure that for whatever reason we can’t be there, Luke can hug you and know we’re hugging him back as tightly. He saved us all and now he’ll never be alone again.

He looked up at Reggie, tears starting to pool in his eyes, even as Reggie looked a little confused. He reached out and hugged him tight. Never letting go of Lukas. They stayed that way for a long time before pulling apart.

Alex had witnessed the whole thing and was pretty sure he knew exactly what caused the burst of emotion in Luke. He gave a small smile before taking the opportunity to rag on his brother. “So what do you think Luke? Care to put Lukas down for a minute.”

Luke shook his head vigorously “Nuh-uh. Not a chance.” There was something niggling at him though as he joked with his bandmates. He couldn’t quite place it though until Julie slipped Jules out of Reggie’s arms and into her arms. He froze then, his brain catching up and slamming into him.

What if Julie could hear the lyrics he sung to the bear as his wish?

[royaliity]

Did I just spot GRANT GUSTIN around town? Oh no wait, it was just HENRY WALTON JONES, III. Rumor has it that he is the TWENTY-FIVE year old child of INDIANA JONES & MARION RAVENWOOD from INDIANA JONES. I’ve also heard that they’re ADVENTUROUS and RECKLESS, and have ONE younger sibling.

history points:

Henry was born to Marion and a very late Indiana Jones in Los Angeles, California, 1938. 

His father had always been very there and back again. Always off on some extravagant adventure. Henry loved to ask where his Dad was so he could mark it off on a world map.

When he was home, he remembered his Dad taking him on treasure hunts and saving his mother, (who really didn’t need to be saved at all). It was his favorite game to play. Adventurer.

His least favorite game happened whenever he was quizzed by his Mother or Father on history if he wanted to have a snack.

Although, eventually he was able to beat every game of that too. With all the reading he always did, it was easy for him to learn... If he wanted to be anything like his parents, he had to learn quick & read plenty.

Though, this made him a pretty lonely kid. Many flocked to him naturally while he was in school, but he hardly had friends that stuck around. He just didn’t waste too much time there. Even if he was friendly.

So, eventually, Indy brought home a German Shepherd/Collie Mix to keep him company. In the tradition of his father-- Henry named him “Shepherd.”

Eventually, it would become his nickname too, especially when he grew old enough to earn an adventurer’s name.

He was a gifted student and being the son of a professor, it was easy to make it into a decent college and follow in Dad’s footsteps.

He became an Archeology Major and begged to be taken on trips with his Dad. Eventually-- He was ready.

From then on out, he was a Jones in training, an apprentice, and just when it came time for him to go out on his own-- he ended up here.

personality points:

Has a multitude of nicknames: Junior, Shepherd, Shep, Three, Walt... Occasionally, he allows people to call him Henry, but only if he knows them well.

Taught to use a whip by dear old Dad, taught to drink and shoot by dear old mom. 

Charm runs in his blood, but he maintains the goofiness and kind hearts of both his grandfather’s.

Highly interested in history and some architecture. Will tell you random fun facts.

Honest to the point of detriment. He can be a little blunt on accident.

Reckless in that he will take on any challenge. Planning usually does not come with that.

Has been to many different countries over the course of his life, he loves traveling and seeing the world.

Afraid of commitment. People tend to run off or break his trust easily.

Big fan of animals! He does his best to respect the circle of life and not abuse it.

wanted connections

Partner in Crime - Someone to follow him on every adventure, big or small. He would consider them one of the only people that don’t get offended by him and actually understands his thought process perhaps.

His Little Sister - He took her on too many mini adventures when they were both kids. She’s one of the only people that knows when he’s faking it but is intelligent in her own right too. Maybe a little more street smart where he can be a little book smart. He’s definitely proud of who she’s becoming with time.

Ex - The initial person that broke his heart. Could have been when they were young or maybe things got too serious and he had to run away like dear dad? Either way, he tries to avoid them but he’s unable to.

Crush - He can’t keep his mind off them for very long. They get Henry on a different level to where all he wants to do is be around them. Unfortunately, that spells danger so he stumbles a lot around them, no matter how charming he tries to be.

Enemy - Many people could fill this position. Especially if they’re greedy and disrespectful of culture or hurt others.

Friend with Benefits - He’s a pretty face with a little charm and they’re willing to put up with his bluntness and obsessive talk of history.

[prodekus]

me: makes 1 post in the bkdk tag me: gains followers me: (softly) i have to do something to earn this

sunshine-colored

summary: And when Midoriya sees their stray little old lady Maine Coon have a bunch of kittens, and one of them is a bright, glorious orange, Midoriya stops thinking rationally.

“The little orange fat one?” Midoriya says, pointing at it with his left hand while wiping a drippy nose with his right. “That one’s name is King Explosion Murder.”

additional notes: my nose started running when i wrote this and then STOPPED when i was DONE

It’s not that Midoriya doesn’t like dogs, really. He does! German shepherds and border collies are his favorites, although he does love other big dogs like huskies or labradors or retrievers. He has a special place in his heart for little ones, too; like papillons or miniature poodles. They just make so much noise and Midoriya just can’t do it on some days.

So he volunteers to help with the cats most of the time.

He’s kind of allergic to them, but they’re just so cute, so he downs a couple of allergy medicine with his breakfast and sucks up the snot and is very careful where he puts his head when he brushes their fur or helps bathing the cats with the faculty.

He helps organize cute little events like Read with Cats, where kids can go to the bigger temporary houses for the older cats and read to them. He organizes Kitty Yoga on the weekends and gives the faculty a summary of what he’d like to do if he could. He also begins Heroic Kitty Time, a-once-a-week event every Sunday where heroes and students alike can come and just pet the older, calmer cats, after a hard day of superhero’ing.

(He’s cried with a few cats before during Heroic Kitty Time, but he tries to blame it on the allergies through the sniffling.)

Midoriya also tries to name some of the cats — he’s not very creative and names a lot of them after Pros, but it’s better than the faculty. There’s an orange tabby who’s three-years-old and her name is Chicken Nugget, and there’s a one-year-old calico named Napkin, and there’s a black cat with one white sock-looking paw who’s who-knows how old and his name is Captain Stabfellow.

But Midoriya doesn’t really have a lot of room to talk.

And when Midoriya sees their stray little old lady Maine Coon have a bunch of kittens, and one of them is a bright, glorious orange, Midoriya stops thinking rationally.

“Gotta think of names,” Says the general manager, scratching the back of his neck. “Midoriya?”

“The little orange fat one?” Midoriya says, pointing at it with his left hand while wiping a drippy nose with his right. “That one’s name is King Explosion Murder.”

“...Are you sure that we need another Captain Stabfellow?”

“I have never been surer of anything in my life.”

Midoriya loves King Explosion Murder. King Explosion Murder is actually a girl, but she is feisty, and she fits her name delightfully. Midoriya spends a lot of time with those kittens — King Explosion Murder, Hibiscus, Fatgum, Mt. Lady, and the runt of the group, Fitz.

And Midoriya is gonna cough up a lung and maybe some cartilage, but he loves them so much that he’ll never stop sending time with them. Fitz, Mt. Lady, and Hibiscus are all well-behaved little toddlers, while Fatgum and King Explosion Murder want not only world domination, but also all of the faculty’s attention all of the time.

And Midoriya, the sucker that he is, will gladly give it to them. Their mother is a red Maine Coon with a lot of white on her, but she must’ve gotten R-rated with a black cat, because Fitz is entirely black, and Fatgum is white and black. Meanwhile, King Explosion Murder is entirely golden, Hibiscus looks very much like her mother, and Mt. Lady is black with little knee-high white sock paws.

Midoriya knows he can’t have them, or foster them, and he only gets them with the general manager is at work because he’s fostering them but Midoriya loves them, okay. He’s gonna cry he loves them so much.

The doorbell in the front chimes melodically. Midoriya picks up King Explosion Murder for cute points and puts her in his breast pocket, wipes off the excess fur on his collared shirt, and walks up to the front in a stride.

“Hello! Welcome to Musutafu Animal Aid! How can I… oh.”

Bakugou stands in front of the door, back slouched and hands furiously in his pockets. His mother looks forced, at that moment, and his father is a gently guiding bolt in-between the two of them. Bakugou’s wearing the logo of some bone-manipulating hero that Midoriya recognizes, but he’s kinda so shocked that Bakugou would willingly go to an animal shelter that he’s stunned into silence.

“Kacchan. Hi.”

Bakugou’s eyes snap up, and he scowls harder, and then his eyes sink back to the floor. That seems to be some kind of acknowledgment, because he doesn’t even curse Midoriya out in that instance.

Midoriya, working on autopilot, continues. “...Auntie, Mr. Masaru, nice to see you. Can I help you with something?”

Bakugou’s mother laughs from her stomach when she sees Midoriya, hitting Bakugou so hard on the back Midoriya can see him spit. “Just lookin’ for a cat for this brat. Mopes around his room all day when he doesn’t have school. He needs to learn how to be responsible! It builds character, but I bet you fuckin’ knew that, kiddo!”

“I — ah.. I s-s’pose, ah, kinda — I’m just a volunteer. I just — r-run around, I guess.”

Bakugou’s father nods thoughtfully. It’s kind of hot under their gazes, Midoriya can feel himself burning up. “Kacchan, would you like to — t-to see...the cats?”

Bakugou doesn’t respond for a minute. And then he does, by walking forward, and putting his hands near Midoriya’s chest.

Midoriya doesn’t expect the gentleness, he notices as he flinches, but he realizes that Bakugou is pointing to the cat in his breast pocket. Oh, god, okay, phew, false alarm. His anxiety levels can go down, now.

“Who’s that.”

“H-her? Sh-she’s — would you like to hold her?” Midoriya scoops King Explosion Murder out of his pocket and runs his free hand over Bakugou’s calloused palm, making sure it’s not wet or too hot before Midoriya shapes it carefully with his own fingers and places the little Maine Coon in his palm.

Bakugou looks startled by the development.

“I named her...ah — gee, this is gonna sound u-um — weird, ah. We named her King Explosion Murder. I — I mean I named her that, but the faculty let me — and her bunch are also other Pros, so you’re not the only hero name, pr-promise, ah, I. She’s young enough that if you really want we can change it, maybe I should’ve consulted you, first, but you — y-y’know, you don’t always answer your phone, e-especially when it’s me, and —”

“Deku.”

Midoriya almost jumps, but he tries to contain it. His heart leaps in his throat, and he swallows, and he bites the inside of his cheek before answering.

“Y-yeah, Kacchan?”

“You named her. After me.”

Midoriya might just die.

“Yeah, I-I mean, is that okay? Are you okay with that?”

Bakugou gets an odd look on his face, holding the little cat that’s mewing insistently, and he looks like he’s looking where Midoriya holds his hand, afraid that Bakugou may drop the kitten by accident.

“Old hag!” Bakugou says, turning around — surprisingly slowly, surprisingly carefully — to show his mom the little one he has in his hands. “I fuckin’ want this one. This little bitch. This one’s mine.”

(Bakugou’s eloquence knows no bounds.)

“Don’t call her that,” Midoriya hears himself say in protest. “She is not a b —… a b…. a what you said. You know the word.”

“Right,” Bakugou says evenly. “I want this pussy. This pussy specifically. No other pussies are like this pussy.”

“Never mind!”

They can’t get King Explosion Murder immediately. She has to be a few months old, and she is most certainly not there yet, despite Bakugou’s complaints about wanting her now.

“What made you want her so bad, brat? I thought you didn’t want any ‘dumbass cats’.”

Bakugou steals a wayward glance at Midoriya before he looks back to his mom, grumbling. “Fuck off.”

Midoriya probably shouldn’t have seen the glance, but he smiles knowingly anyway.

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @heavy---cream!

Irresistibly Contagious

"I can't believe they roped you into this!"

Dang. He'd been aiming for sympathy, but that definitely came out way too gleeful.

Derek just glared as balefully as he could from under the Santa hat, perched jauntily on his head by a helpful elf.

"You could, at least, try to be supportive." He didn't so much speak, as his voice emerged from the bushy fake beard, like a deranged explorer stumbling out of the jungle. Which. Hilarious. And unfair!

"Dude, I am being supportive. It's literally my job description. Like, 'Santa's Helper' supportive." He gestured down at his adorable holly green elf costume. The movement sent all the little bells he'd painstakingly sewed onto his costume a-jingling, and a vein in Derek's forehead a-throbbing with every merry peal.

When the Red Vein's throbbin'

Get hop hop hoppin' along, aloooong.

Heh.

Hilarity, thy name is Stiles.

Not something Derek would probably appreciate right now. Though, it's not like he could resist humming a few more bars. And a little, bell enhanced spin.

"Man, where's Scott? I'm Christmas personified right now."

Derek's glower only deepened.

And, OK. It was a little corny. And, like the rest of the Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital's Christmas supplies, kind of well-used. And musty smelling. The pack had bitched so much.

Because, of course, if Derek had to be Santa, there was no way the rest of the pack wasn't going down with him.

But, hey. Christmas. Sick children. Who would say no to that?

A monster, that's who. And not the Creature of the Night variety, either.

(Except for, maybe, vampires. Because fuck vampires, those guys are assholes.)

"I guess I should be grateful you didn't inflict those things on anyone else."

Stiles gasped in not-entirely-fake outrage.

"What are you saying about my totally awesome costume  modifications? I spent hours adding these. Bells are hella Christmas. They bring Christmas joy, Derek."

"Christmas misery."

Stiles narrowed his eyes.

"I'll weave them into your beard, don't think I won't."

Derek probably smirked. It was hidden under the oodles of beard, but clearly audible.

"Too late! Santa comes but once a year. Too bad."

Stiles snorted and bit his lip. To go there or not to go there? Hmmm.

Derek's eyes promised murder. Festive murder.  Beaten to death with a giant candy cane kind of murder.

A sticky end.

Oh God.

Distraction! Use the words, Stiles!

"Yeah. And like you won't be right back here next year."  Good save.  "No one can resist the McCall Puppy eyes!"

"Scott - "

"I'm not talking about Scott. Hah! Scott! No, I'm talking about Melissa. Where do you think Scott gets them from? Lethal, dude. Trust me."

A nurse hustled by in pink shrubs. Right. Paediatric Ward.

"Not to mention the kids! Can you really say no to the kids, Derek? Nah. You'll be back. And I'll be ready. Seriously, Derek. You'll sound like a children's carol singing posse. On sugar.  Doing 'Jingle Bells.'"

Derek, being Derek, had to front.

"You wouldn't."

Ha!

"It's Christmas, dude. A  stressful time for everybody over five. Don't tempt me."

There must have been something extra manic in his eyes. Or maybe the opening strains of Walking in the Air cracked the facade, because Derek sighed deeply. Which was Derek for surrender. And yes! Definitely a good feeling! Big Bad Wolf: Zero. Christmas: Eleven. Santa's Elves for the win!

"Ha! Today's a great day! I'm marking it in my calendar!"

"You're insane." But there was fondness under the growling. For sure.

And Derek definitely carefully adjusted the stack of presents next to him for a better photographic angle.

"Awww, you love all this Christmas crap, really."

Strangely enough, he actually tensed, like he'd been caught doing something illicit. Which was a strange look on a guy who used to brazen his way through crime scenes, back when Stiles was still in high school.

"Awww, babe! You do!"

Derek growled. And, with all the beard, that was weird.

Although. How would wolfed-out Santa look? Like a Schnauzer, maybe? Except with less eyebrow action? A Bearded Collie?

He was about to ask Derek for his thoughts on it, but the sight of him clenching and unclenching his fist, while glaring a hole into the floor completely derailed that train of thought (Destination: Future Experimentation with Scott).

It was the classic Derek About To Talk About His Feelings pose, and always looked like he was giving himself hives.

But as the entire history of their acquaintanceship (and werewolves) had taught him, pain was gain. And Derek needed a little more gain.

So, Stiles slid himself onto Derek's lap, taking his hand as he did so.

"Hey, buddy, don't hurt yourself. C'mere."

Luckily, Derek relaxed his fist and let him thread their fingers together. Which was just as well, as the last time Stiles had tried alternative solutions to the Steely Tension of Tense it Did Not End Well.

(There had been tickling and broken furniture.)

"I do like Christmas," Derek announced eventually, low and guilty, like he was at confession.

And, figured Derek would feel guilty for enjoying Normal People Stuff.

Though, to be fair, their little Christmas grotto was, essentially, an enclosed psuedo-Christian booth. With the multicoloured lights blinking down on them, like the Eyes of God.

Or was that Dr. Eckleburg? Big Brother?

"My Dad," Derek began, saving Stiles from his literary angst. "My Dad - He, uh, used to dress up. As Santa. At Christmas."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

The beard hid most of his face, and the lights made weird, distracting patterns, like they were inside a kaleidoscope, but he was definitely smiling his Patented Derek smile which, unlike his daily stash of Poker Face, smirks and scowls, only came out to play on special occasions.

And something warm filled Stiles up, from his stomach to his chest. And it definitely wasn't the eggnog he had earlier.

"My Dad did the same," he admitted, in the Spirit of Shared Information. "My Mom too some years. 'Cause, you know, no sexism en Casa Stilinski."

Derek did his huffing-like-a-dog laugh, which always kind of made Stiles want to coo.

"I bet Melissa did too."

"Dude, did she ever! I swear, Scott used to get so confused with the Mall Santas. Like, who are these white dudes, and where is the True Hispanic Santa?"

"In drag."

"Well, duh."

Derek laughed quietly and Stiles grinned in triumph.

"You know," Derek said, because he was nothing if not abrupt. "My Dad used to say I'd do this one day -"

"Dude, living the dream!"

"Don't interrupt. He meant for the little brothers and sisters and cousins. And, uh, for my kids. One day."

The tip of his ear that Stiles could see peeking out from under the hat was burning red and he was glaring fixedly at the plastic Christmas tree in the corner, like it was about to commit a crime.

Stiles took a moment to process.

"Babe, are we having the Kids conversation while I'm sitting on Santa's knee?"

"No. God, Stiles."

He tried to growl, but it came out more like a terrier wheezing. It was the sound of the Commitement-loving-Werewolf-Dates-Fickle-Human Panic, familiar from their early dating history.

How it had not been missed.

"Because, you know, this is opportune, babe. If we're talking Christmas Wishes. Future Christmas Wishes, dude. Like Ghost of Christmas Future future. Except, I hope neither of us will be dead. Because I love my Dad, babe. He's awesome. And Melissa's basically a super hero. But I am not ready to be a single parent. Why am I talking about this? I'm still talking. Why am I still talking, Derek?"

Fortunately, Derek was a pro at ploughing though bewildering nonsense with a mostly straight face. It was why they worked so well together.

(Plus, a big part of why he was still alive. Stiles liked to think he helped hone that Cutting Through the Crap life skill, like a viruoso's daily practice on their violin.)

(Play me like a fiddle, Derek)

"Stop talking, Stiles," he said reflexively, a defence mechanism for the both of them.

Stiles stopped.

"But, really. You want them. One day?"

"Well, I also want my two front teeth and a new engine for the jeep, but yeah."

Derek didn't say anything. Instead, he leaned in to nuzzle at Stiles' neck, which would have been awesome except -

"Dude, beard!"

He tried to squirm away, but Derek held on, and this was payback for the Great Tickling Fiasco of '21, wasn't it?

But Christmas Spirit smiled on Stiles and Melissa arrived with a jingle.

Awesome, she had attached a bell to her hat.

"You're still the most awesome Santa," Stiles blurted.

She raised a sardonic eyebrow.

"It looks like you've replaced me."

"Oh, no," Derek said from over Stiles' shoulder. "You're still the One True Santa."

She quirked a smile at that, then clapped her hands, suddenly businesslike.

"Right, well. Get up, Stiles. The kids will be arriving soon."

"Hey, starting early?  Kinky. Do I get a turn?" Erica smirked at them, appearing silently behind Melissa. Because she was a heathen and had forsworn the little package of bells Stiles had left her for costume edification purposes.

Stiles scowled and flung his arms around Derek's neck. Not that he was bitter about the bells, or anything.

"Back off Reyes! This is a one Elf-Santa! Nobody rings his bell but me!"

"And that's one phrase I never needed to hear in any context, ever." Scott complained, arriving in Erica's wake. He stared hard at Derek for a second, then glanced at Stiles, who nodded slightly.

White Santa. Weird.

"Seriously, Stiles. Get to work. The children are arriving."

So he did, and they did.

And it was fun, and sad.

Most of the kids were visiting patients or staff in the hospital, or were, at least, mobile. Santa Derek and his Faithful Helpers, Elves Stiles, Erica and Scott would be touring the wards later.

And it was weird to see Derek talking to the kids. Adorable, yet surprising. Adorably surprising, like a koala attack.

Case in point.

"So what do you want for Christmas?" Derek asked for the nth time.

The little boy sighed loudly and looked away, even kicked his legs a bit from where he was sitting stiffly on the edge of Derek's knee.

"It's stupid. You won't care," he muttured eventually.

Derek glanced at them for help, and this was it, the heartbreaking moment a child asked for a miracle cure for Mommy. Stiles had been bracing for it all afternoon.

"Santa always cares!" He said, a little too loudly and passionately.

"That's right," Derek agreed solemnly, like they were conferring on the fundamental laws of the universe.

The little boy mumbled something.

"Could you say that again, please?" Derek asked patiently.

The boy - "Calumn", a nurse had whispered loudly - glared at Stiles, like he was eavesdropping on a nuclear code exchange, then turned to cup his hand around Derek's ear.

"I like Transformers." He whispered, the loud and ticklish whisper of a preschooler, judging by Derek's face. He looked embarrassed to admit it, and, hey, Mini Derek.

Adult Derek was inscrutable for a second, then he bent his head and said, very seriously:

"I like Transformers too."

The kid gasped loudly.

"Really?" His face lit up, and he turned, scooting up Derek's lap to get closer. "Who's your favourite? I like Optimus Prime!"

Derek appeared deep in thought, like the fate of the world hung on his answer. It was his default thinking expression, and, man, was it having its time to shine.

"I like Optimus Prime too," he said eventually. "But my favourite's Bumblebee."

The kid nodded, like this was a respectable answer, despite said Transformer's obvious inferiority.

"Bumblebee's OK, he has nice colours," he said patronisingly.  "But Optimus Prime makes this RAAWW noise and he's the bravest and he can be a tanker truck! And a dump truck!"

"Bumblebee can be a camaro though," Derek argued. "That's a sports car."

"And a Chevrowllay," Calumn agreed, dismissing Derek with an enthusiastic wave of his fist. "But! But! Optimus Prime can be a sports car too!" he practically shouted. "He can be a lamborheenee Deeablow!"

Derek appeared blindsided by this display of geek knowledge, and Erica took the opportunity to lean right into Stiles' space.

"Wow, he's like a Mini-Derek mixed with a Mini-you," she breathed, and Stiles nodded jerkily, not trusting himself to speak. If he did, there'd be tears, probably in the shapes of tiny little candy canes.

Scott patted his back with an amused expression.

"Like looking into the future, huh, bro?"

So he'd definitely been eavesdropping. Creepy werewolves.

But still.

Stiles nodded.

It totally was.

[nic-and-annie-in-france]

October Break: Hiking in UK and Ireland

Since we had kind of reached our fill of big cities, museums, and palaces last year, the trip I planned for our first vacation this year mostly focused on hiking and sightseeing in nature. Did you know that the British usually say “walking” when Americans would say “hiking”? I think they’re just being modest.

It was nice to be around our fellow English-speakers for a change. However, in Scotland and Ireland, I sometimes had more difficulty understanding English spoken with the regional accents than I would have understanding French!

This was our itinerary:

Day 1: Traveling Aix-les-Bains > Chambéry > Geneva > London Luton Airport > Oxford

Day 2: The Cotswolds AONB (Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty)

Day 3: Sightseeing in Oxford, traveling Oxford > Manchester

Day 4: The Peak District

Day 5: Traveling Manchester > Kendal, Sightseeing in the Lake District

Day 6: The Lake District

Day 7: Traveling Kendal > Glasgow, lunch with K+A, relaxing (I had planned for us to visit Loch Lomond but a combination of lack of planning, gloomy weather, and fatigue made us nix it)

Day 8: Scottish Highlands

Day 9: Sightseeing in Edinburgh, traveling Glasgow > Belfast (via ferry)

Day 10: Giant’s Causeway

Day 11: Traveling Belfast > Dublin > Galway, sightseeing in Galway

Day 12: Connemara National Park

Day 13: Cliffs of Moher, traveling Galway > Cork

Day 14: Killarney National Park

Day 15: Traveling Cork > London Heathrow > Geneva > Culoz > Aix-les-Bains

And here are our miles walked over that time:

The weather/the season. The extended forecast for the UK and Ireland before we left showed rain every single day. However, we only got rained on less than half the time! I knew it was too much to ask for a repeat of the miraculously sunny vacation we had in Paris/Normandy in February, but I was still happy with the amount of dry weather we had. We also had the good fortune of being there to see the fall colors at their very best. Even our rainy and foggy days were enjoyable because of the cozy autumn ambiance.

Going car-less. I was worried that we would have trouble getting out to the trailheads if we relied solely on public buses and trains, but it mostly turned out to be fine. Let’s just say that in our experience, the British transport systems are much more punctual than the Irish ones! Riding instead of driving gave us both the opportunity to relax and enjoy the scenery as we traveled from place to place. Buses and trains in the area almost always had wifi or USB charging onboard (or both), which was an extra bonus because it alleviated my anxieties about missing our stop (we could follow the bus on Google Maps) and/or about my phone dying.

Walkers’ rights and public rights of way. In planning for the trip, I learned that in England, walkers/hikers have organized into formal clubs and won the legal right to have public footpaths and “rights of way” all over the country. I’m still kind of unclear on how this works legally (I googled “Can you just walk anywhere in England,” it didn’t help much), but we took full advantage of these walkers’ rights during our time in the region. We took paths that went through practically infinite sheep pastures, climbing over stiles or letting ourselves through cattle gates as necessary. I think it’s so nice that the country allows people to access the natural beauty of the countryside in a way that really doesn’t harm people’s private property much at all. The sheep never seemed to mind us, after all. It was great to have access to all these places, but even better was the way the English culture has helped to facilitate and accommodate walkers on their journeys. On several different websites I was able to find not only maps of hiking routes, but detailed turn-by-turn instructions for the routes which kept me, a navigationally challenged person, on the right path every time.

No buses in the Cotswolds. Blackberries. Our first hiking day was a Sunday, and no public buses run in the Cotswolds AONB on Sundays. We therefore had to rely on trains alone to reach a trailhead, so our options for starting and ending points were limited. We found a suitable out-and-back trail running from a village called Moreton-in-Marsh to another one called Stow-on-the-Wold. The map and instructions I found for it listed everything in kilometers instead of miles, so when I saw the distance involved, I assumed it wouldn’t be that much in miles without ever actually bothering to do the calculation. By the time we got back to our Airbnb in the evening, we had walked about 17 miles. Oops. Fortunately, our route that day had us pass by lots of hedgerows, and lots of those hedgerows had blackberries growing in them. At first we were hesitant to eat any of them, but as we walked further and further, and our stomachs got hungrier and hungrier, we were eating them by the handful. I’m still not sure whether to feel guilty about this; the blackberries didn’t belong to us, but the sheep in the adjacent pasture could never have reached them, and it seemed pretty unlikely that anyone was growing them on purpose. All I know is that these possibly-sinful blackberries sustained us on our accidentally super long trek that day, and we were both very thankful for them.

The bus at the Lake District. Bus tickets in the Lake District were not sold per ride, but per day, and they were pretty expensive. I was sad we had to pay so much just to get from one town to the next. They turned out to be one of the best value parts of our whole trip! First of all, a ride that is only 25 miles as the crow flies takes an hour and a half. Make it round trip and that makes three whole hours of your day. This sounds like the ride would be tedious and boring, but with the jaw-dropping scenery to look at the whole time, it was so much fun. I listened to The Prisoner of Azkaban on audiobook the whole time and tried to take pictures out the dirty bus window, nudging Nicolas every 30 seconds to show him another beautiful mountainside or lake. The icing on the cake was that the bus driver on the second day gave us a discount for our tickets!

Lunch with K+A. K and I usually check in with each other at the beginning of each school break to see what the other one’s plans are. On our second night, K texted me saying they were in Ireland and planned to go to Scotland later in the week. I told her it sounded like we were doing the same trip, just traveling in opposite directions. Sure enough, we realized that we would all be in Glasgow at the same time, so we planned to have lunch together. K suggested a restaurant where we could eat a three-course meal for £10 apiece, so we went there and caught up on our school years so far and compared notes on our travel itineraries. They had to catch a train soon after their meal, so we didn’t get to hang out for long, but it was nice to see some friendly faces in an unexpected place.

The ferry. We opted to take a ferry instead of a plane from Glasgow to Belfast. I expected that we would have to stand out in the dark and cold for two hours as we waited to arrive in Northern Ireland. The ferry turned out to be more like a cruise ship than the little Valley View ferry I’m used to. We sat in a huge lounge with lots of comfy armchairs and took a nap as we waited to reach the other side of the sea. There were at least two restaurants on board, and there was one room with a large TV where we were warned not to sit because the ferry was expecting four hundred soccer hooligans to come watch a game there. I also saw a sign for a Swedish spa on a different deck. It was a really cool way to travel—I wished the ride had been a bit longer!

Molly the pub dog and George the hostel cat. One of the things we miss most about home is the availability of our friends’ and families’ pets to play with and snuggle. It’s rare that we feel comfortable enough to interact with a stranger’s cat or dog over here. But after another hike in poor weather in Ireland, we stopped in a pub that happened to have a border collie named Molly curled up in front of the fire. As we sipped our coffee, Molly periodically got up from her spot by the fire and visited the tables of the people in the pub. We showered her with so much affection that she laid down under our table and let us rub her belly (excuse the poor quality picture). One of the hostels we stayed at had a permanent resident in George, the ginger cat who was usually found curled up on a window seat in the hallway. Whenever we came across him we gave him a quick pat too.

Traditional foods. Since Great Britain and Ireland are typically colder and rainier than France, their food is typically cozier and heartier. We had bangers and mash, scotch pie, haggis, fish and chips, English breakfasts, Irish stew, black pudding, and steak and ale pie. Yum on all counts.

Non-traditional foods. We were walking to our Airbnb in Manchester when a poster for Taco Bell caught our eye. Although McDonald’s, KFC, and Burger King are commonplace in Europe, we’ve never seen a Taco Bell. We immediately made plans to locate the TB and give it a try, and our dinner there the next evening didn’t disappoint. Although we had to pay about twice as much for it as we do at home, it was worth it to taste our favorite American comfort food so far from home. We also ate an entire Domino’s pizza in a public bus station. I felt like a criminal the whole time, but it was tasty.

Irish music. I love traditional Irish music. In grad school, I had a Spotify playlist of jigs and reels that was perfect for studying to because it was upbeat enough to keep me awake but instrumental enough that the lyrics wouldn’t distract me. We spent the last night of the trip in an Irish bar in Cork where musicians had gathered to play trad music. Music in a cheery pub was a nice complement to a day spent on a cold, rainy walk, as well as a perfect conclusion to our whole vacation. 

[visitonair]

How I Travel: Why Ann Patchett Is Her “Best Spiritual Self in an Airport” – Condé Nast Traveler

Ann Patchett’s gift is the ability to construct tiny universes. Her eight novels, including the 2016 bestseller Commonwealth, tend to focus on families or groups raveling and unraveling over decades. Her latest, The Dutch House, out this week, follows two siblings on the long road of their lives as they grapple with dark moments from childhood and obsess over the home in the title.

Patchett’s own corner of the universe is Nashville, where she also operates indie bookstore Parnassus Books, though she and her husband make frequent getaways to nearby states on his boat and plane. As she gears up for a long book tour, she shared some of her travel tips with Traveler—and why she says she’s her “best spiritual self in an airport.”

What she does before every trip:“My sister and I talk about this a lot, but we’re of that genetic makeup that says if you’re going on a trip, your kitchen drawers must be clean first. Under your sink, all the closets. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought, If I don’t order the Halloween candy right now, I’m not going to get the good Halloween candy. It’s really insanity. But my refrigerator is clean, my oven is clean. So my whole preparation for travel—packing—it doesn’t matter. I am a fast, light, and good packer. But the thing that really slows me up is that my home, and my papers, and everything must be left in perfect order. Because if I die, I don’t want to leave a mess. It’s like taking that thing of ‘Wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a car,’ to a factor of 110.”

Her airport routine:“I have never in my life missed a flight for being late, and yet I am not even vaguely neurotic. I know my airport. I know how long it takes me to get there. So I am always at the gate comfortably half an hour before we board. I am my best spiritual self in an airport. I so wish that the person I was in an airport would be the person I was all the time. Because I just realize that I have no control. Of course, I never have any control. But in an airport, I completely understand that. So if somebody tells me my flight’s two hours late or canceled, I am so at peace.”

How she passes her time while traveling:“Reading. I am not inclined toward motion sickness, which is such an important gift. So I can read just about anywhere. And the nice thing is, when you read books on paper, you don’t ever have to take glare into account, and no one ever tells you to close your book down.”

How she sleeps on planes:“You could show me a picture of a plane, and I would fall asleep. It’s not good, though. It’s not a good thing. Because I wake up very crumpled. My neck, my back, everything will really hurt because I fall asleep. If I don’t fall asleep, I’m completely fine. And I try not to fall asleep, because I love to read on planes. That’s such sacred reading time, where nobody can bother you. God help the person next to me who tries to talk to me when I’m reading a book.”

How she dresses for the plane:“I would not go in leggings or shorts. I am someone who is always properly covered. I went to Catholic school.”

The best vacation she ever took:“Two and a half years ago, we took my husband’s daughter, her husband, and their two kids on a Disney cruise. I have such Disney phobia, such theme park phobia, but I was like, ‘I’m going to be brave. I’m going to do it. I’m going to take one for the team.’ It was fantastic. I always have believed that the secret to happiness is low expectations. My expectations were rock bottom. I thought I was going into an insane asylum for five days. It was so spectacular, and fun, and well done. So there you go!”

Her favorite hotel amenity:“I really love a good hotel gym. Because although I can be spotty about exercising at home, I am relentless about it when I’m on tour. And the other thing that I’m just seeing cropping up in hotels in the last couple of years that thrills me is a tube of Marvis toothpaste. It’s so cute, and great toothpaste. And I would never just buy Marvis toothpaste. So yeah, that kind of makes me want to hop up and down and clap my hands.”

The destination she could travel to a million times:“I would never get sick of Rome. The first time we ever went to Rome—and I’ve only been twice—I said to my husband, ‘We don’t ever have to go any place else ever again. We’ll just do this over and over forever.’ I would probably never get sick of the entire country of Italy. There’s what I think of as the sexy restful vacation, like if we’re going to Jamaica, and Italy has that, this sexy, restful, gorgeous Amalfi coast element. You could just think vacation and let your mind go. Or you could take the academic, historical, art history vacation. Or you could take the food vacation. Lots of places have all of those elements. But I feel like in Italy, every single part of it is so strong.”

The American city she thinks is underrated:“I was blown away by Indianapolis. I love going to public libraries; they have one of the best public libraries in the country. Boy, that library is so gorgeous. And check this to see if it’s true, but I was told, and I certainly believe it, that they have more monuments than any other American city except for Washington D.C. [Editor’s note: Indianapolis has more monuments honoring veterans than any other city; only DC has more monuments dedicated to military conflicts.] It’s crazy. And I was just going in to give a talk, and I drove, and I just thought, Oh my God, where am I, Paris? Really. I was so surprised.”

Where she wants to go next:“It’s home. That’s it. I’m getting ready to go on a 27-city book tour. Do I want to go someplace? No, I do not.”

The secret reason people come to her second home, her bookstore:“They will find shop dogs—we have fabulous dogs who work at Parnassus Books, many of them, like my dog Sparky. But the best is my sister Heather has just started working at the bookstore, and she has a congenitally deaf Border Collie named Marlee Matlin who chases shadows. And basically now people are just coming to the store to see Marlee.”

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[poop4u]

Thank Heavens We Have Dogs. (And Other Things To Do When The World Closes Up.)

#Poop4U

What do we do after, to quote a line from the play Hamilton, “The world turned upside down”? I rarely write about current events, but it just feels wrong to not acknowledge the profound effects of the Covid-19 global pandemic. I have several fun topics for posts in the hopper for the near future (how to pick a new dog, how to handle a dog who plays rough, for example), but, like you, our lives here on the farm have been upended by what I am calling “the new abnormal”. But it’s not all bad. Surely there is a silver lining here for dog and cat lovers–surely we can make lemonade as much as possible? That’s what I want to focus on today: How can we pet owners take advantage of the cancellation of so much of the rest of our lives?

I should preface this post by saying that everyone has to make their own choices about how to behave, but Jim and I are playing it cautious and canceling almost everything that would take us off the farm. We are convinced of the seriousness of this disease, and that stopping “community spread” and “flattening the curve” is the most responsible thing to do. That’s before there a lot of cases in one’s own locality. As a good friend of mine said, “Be more cautious than you think you need to be.” We are all swamped with information about the pandemic and how to handle it, so I’m just going to link to one excellent source for data nerds like me, and leave it at that.

But I do want to brainstorm with you about making “social distancing” and “social isolation” as painless as possible. This morning I sat down with a cup of tea, my favorite pen and notebook and wrote a list of things that I am able to do now that my schedule is cleared. I’d love to hear yours.

Before I start a list, I want to say how grateful I am that “social isolation” isn’t isolation at all for those of us with pets. Here’s to them, and all the comfort, love and oxytocin that they provide us–one of the world’s best ways to strengthen our immune system. (FYI, I am aware of no credible information that dogs or cats can get Covid-19, but they could carry viral particles from one human to another, so be careful there.)

Here’s my list then; which will no doubt be revised and added to in the days to come:

– Cook rice and freeze for when dogs have diarrhea. (Following the usual veterinary advice: First fast, then feed easy to digest foods. I usually use rice with a little chicken broth in it.) I leave a good amount of cooked rice in the freezer for a sitter when I’m gone–it paid off big time when we were in Kenya and the poor sitter had to deal with an outbreak of yuck.

Note, True Story: While I was typing this, Tootsie began whining. “Just a minute, Toots” I said, wanting to finish the paragraph. And then she spewed diarrhea all over the dining room floor. The floor is now mopped, Tootsie has had a bath and received metronidazole, the vet is called, and the already cooked rice is out of the freezer. Words fail here.

Toots requests that Tall Two-Leg Female start paying more attention to her rather than writing about paying more attention to your dogs.

– Catch up on training videos. So many great places to go! I’ll be watching some of the herding videos from The MacRae Way Academy. Friend and kick ass trainer Laura Monaco Torelli has a vast range of free training videos which I’ll catch up on, as does Emily Larlham of Kikopup on Youtube. The Learning Center on my website also has articles and videos on training. Maybe pick one aspect of training you’d like to delve into, and go from there? What are your other favorite sites?

– Train new trick. (Cat lovers too! Cats are great at doing tricks!) This is my all time favorite way to deal with cabin fever for both me and my dogs. I love that tricks feel so light and fun–a good reminder of how easy it is to fall into angst if some kind of “obedience” exercise isn’t going well. So: Define every thing as a fun trick, teach a new one or improve a cue that needs a little spiffing up, and have a ball doing it. My “new trick” agenda is easy–nothing like a new dog to write it’s own list. Skip and I are working on so many things, including Turn Your Head to Me When I Give Another Dog a Treat (a “Leave It” equivalent without a word being spoken), Back Up When I Touch The Door Handle, Stop and Stand Still Even When Running Outside, Stand Quietly For Muddy Paw Cleaning, Walk on a Leash Politely When Going Out to Work Sheep, Keep All Paws on the Ground When Being Petted, Look at Me When You See a Cat, Go to a Matt in the Kitchen when I say Relax, and, drumroll please, Do Just About Anything Besides Stare Obsessively Out the Window Looking for a Cat. And that’s not even the list related to working sheep. (Which is going well by the way, although we have our challenges.) So yeah, I’m good for a list on what to work on! What about you?

This is a huge victory! Skip is chewing on his Kong rather than obsessively looking at the window in case a cat shows up. More on this in a separate blog. (Nothing like a new dog to give a person a lot to write about.)

– Groom, and/or clean out pet supply shelves and cabinets. I try to be sure to groom the dogs at least on Sunday, but, of course, that kind of commitment, is, uh, flexible. But what a great opportunity to get a handle on what we have, what we need to order, what dog or cat needs her nails trimmed or their coats brushed. Or a bath cuz they just had diarrhea all over themselves. Just saying.

This is but one of five different places in the house where dog supplies are kept. Yup, I need to follow my own advice here . . . (Glinda, the Good Witch on the right, is an important part of my dog training procedures. She was given to me by some other trainers, and I have cherished her ever since. Her poor little hand was broken off, so she is awaiting repairs in the mud/supply room. Do wish her well.)

– Sort through dog photos, get enlargements if you can do it digitally. If not, at least get them organized so that you’re ready to take them in once you’re comfortable going into town. You can imagine that I have a ridiculous number of dog photographs, in a ridiculous number of places. Someday I’ll get them better organized. Will this be the “day”? Hmmm, no promises made here. But surely I can start the wall of family photographs that I’ve planned to do in “my free time” for the last four winters. Here’s a link to a review of the online photo enlargement/print businesses, and here’s a link to my favorite local camera store’s online services, at the Camera Company. So: Who are you going to get an enlargement of? I’m going to get one of Willie, my Silly Billy Willie Boy.

– Find pet-related note cards on line, order and write to friends. What is more special than getting a real note or letter in the mail nowadays? (You can guess my age because I just said “nowadays”. Who uses that word nowadays?) You can personalize a note card with your own dog, you can search Amazon for pet-related note cards, you can get funny cards about bored Border Collies, and you can order Gary Larson cartoon cards. (I don’t think there is a grad student in any biological field that doesn’t have a Gary Larson cartoon on their door.) The sky is the limit, right? Well, actually, our budgets are the limit, but hey, these are trying times.

Is this not the coolest card ever for a sheep and sheepdog owner? You can find them at www.myfavoritesheep.com.

– Virtual Field Trips: One last thought, for everyone of any age: How about taking some virtual field trips through museums around the country? Or, for my bird lover friends, checking in on live cams in bird nests around the world?

I’m sure you all have lots of other great ideas. Along with some of the above, I’ll be doing lots of cooking (poor me), lots of work with the BCs on sheep (poor me), and lots of contact with dear friends through the phone, letters and on line. You?

I do want to say one more thing: I am so sorry for all of you who are struggling financially because of this global nightmare. Folks with small businesses that rely on in-person transactions are truly hurting. Jim and I have agreed to do all we can to support them, by buying gift certificates from local restaurants, ordering on line when possible, and refusing refunds from things we’ve already paid for that had to be cancelled. If you can possibly afford it, please help local dog groomers, vet clinics, restaurants, etc etc. If you are the one struggling, I hope that those around you can turn out to help–don’t be shy about asking for it.

MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Life goes on as usual for the dogs. Maggie and Skip play hard twice a day, but it goes best if Skip has a toy in his mouth. They love to play tug, and he’s absolutely fine when she tries to take it out of his mouth (lots of chase games associated with that–Maggie is brilliant at figuring out how she can best get a hold of it when it’s in his mouth), but he can be a jerk (mouthy, body slamming) if he doesn’t have a toy on his mouth. We have other words for him when he’s being a jerk, but I’ll spare your tender ears.

Skip is one of the happiest dogs I have ever met. That’s without a doubt the main reason that he’s our dog now. Happy dog, happy Trisha.

Ghost Kitty (aka Polly), would like to remind us that it’s not all about the dogs.

Please be safe out there, I send you my warmest wishes for safety and health.

Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com Trisha, Khareem Sudlow

[scotiaeire]

When The World Goes Mad...

Like, when Macron wants to make Europe a nuclear power...feck’s sake, I already lived through *one* Cold War, mister! Or when the UKgov sets armed drones  over civilian airspace. Or, just, Brexit, which, y’know, almost split up my wee family and forced us to move not just from one country, but two (though, if I’d known how beautiful Ireland was before I’d have given in and done it sooner, but nope, spent two years fighting a losing war and have the scars to prove it ) or like when the only news seems to be nothing but bad news (I used to make a point of ignoring the news..memo to self: start doing that again)

Well, then, I try to look on the bright side. Go on, admit it, you’ve got *that* bloody song stuck in your head now, haven’t ye, har!

I’m still alive, for one thing. And there’ve been times I almost wasn’t. Quite a few, actually. Like with an ex who tried to electrocute me by rewiring the washing machine. No, that sounds like it should be in a comedy show but it’s true, sadly. The shock I got threw me back against a worktop, almost broke my back (clear across the room) and I couldn’t move one of my arms for almost a month, but I survived. Obviously.

Or the multiple times my stupid heart arrhythmia put me in intensive care due to reacting to general anaesthetic..which is one reason I don’t want another operation. Ever.

But, aye, I lived through the Cold War. The first one, that is. As a young woman with a baby, I was amongst those living with a dual mindset (and *this* is a prime example of how incredibly easily folks are manipulated by media....) of having a brother in law in the Forces who admitted if the bombs dropped, we’d ALL be fecked. And of being a  member of CND, going on the rallies, baby on hip, attending the meetings and watching the banned MOD vids that showed (diluted, as it turns out) the horrors of nuclear war and it’s aftermath. We were terrified the bomb was going to drop almost every day, more so with Reagan and Thatcher (may the auld bitch rest in whatever hell she’s in. I hope it’s a scalding one) in charge.

But also, we watched films. The eighties was the era of the Post Apocalyptic movie. A media designed defiance against the misery of total annihilation. Films showing the event itself and how a brave wee band of survivors armed themselves to the teeth with whatever they could, scavenged whatever they could find and built Mad Max type cars and trikes to keep “the enemy Hordes” at bay. Or where the event had already happened and a few plucky survivors crossed the wastelands, in search of a patch of land that was somehow miraculously untouched by radiation, mutations, deaths and starvation and disease etc.

All good adventurous fun. And when you’re young and healthy enough, you *do* fall for it. A lot of the music of the day also echoed the “Live life to the full, it might end tomorrow” feeling we lived with.

Then we grew up and many of us realised how damn close we came to blowing our stupid fucking heads to bits....

So to hear someone like Macron advise that Europe should be a nuclear superpower, well...let’s just say, I’d prefer a return to the original Cold War. There was, somehow, a weird, if twisted kind of “innocence” about it that isn’t here now.

Sometimes, it seems like the world has gone mad. Much of this has to do with the instant access to news and events (not always true, and usually always skewed from one particular recorder’s viewpoint, or outright lying) so, here I am on social media advising digital detoxes every now and again.

(Not that I think anyone’s actually reading this blog, but, ahem, if you *do* them’s my words)

Because the world is more than strife and fear, crushing hatred and war. The world is also family and friends, landscape and urban curiosities, the world has people in it who ARE willing to listen to others when they need to talk (I’m one of those btw..anyone wanna talk? I have ears. And I listen well.)

I haven’t had a comfortable or easy life. To tell it all would bore the feck outta folks and take hours. I’ve stared death in the face quite a few times and feared for my bairns’ lives (which is worse than anything), I’ve been homeless and starving (I once managed to survive an entire week *and* go to work potato picking on one dried packet of spaghetti..no sauce...but I was young and tough then) and I’ve been suicidal, particularly lately due to Brexit and the effect it had on my family. I’m losing my sight, my lungs are packing up and my heart’s giving me hell too, thanks body for packing up just when I’d like to appreciate life more...

But I’m glad to be living. In spite of the swamp of fear-creating news (nobody else think somehow, a lot of it is deliberate, designed to keep us, to borrow a word from Watership Down, “thrawn”? Trapped in the headlights of the oncoming car...) well, in spite of it all, life is good. And nobody knows if we get another chance at it. No, I’m not preaching..I’ve been there when hope seems like a forbidden dream and the only way out is to walk into darkness. I’m glad now I didn’t.

Because I think of the pain my daughter and husband would feel. Because I’d miss times like this, when I sit beside a warm fire and it’s quiet indoors, but the rain lashes the windows and the wind makes the trees sing like banshees. Because although I’m going blind, I can *still* see enough to watch the goldfinches eat grass seeds in the bramble thorns, and can still see (when they’re close enough) the gulls wheel inshore to shelter from storms at sea.

When the world seems like it’s going crazy, I retract into myself and turn to the things I know the madness can’t touch...making a hearty meal for those I love, keeping clean, crisp sheets on comfortable beds, tending the bright, warm fire, throwing my arms around my exuberant Border Collie, Bran (named for one of Fionn Mac Cumhaill’s hunting hounds of old Irish lore) and having him just be so happy to be fussed, so loving, so loyal. Small things. Old fashioned things. Comfort blanket things. Treasures that too many folks in the world don’t have access to...

When I was young, I did my activist stint. Back then, we made zero difference. I learned governments will do whatever the fuck they want no matter what the people say en masse. Proof of that?  Cameron, May, Johnson. Trump. Countless others. I was never a pacifist. I believe if you or your family is threatened, words won’t stop what’s coming...you have to fight. Even if you lose, you *have* to fight.

I did, for two years, and lost. And we’re still wounded. But it worked out alright for us regardless.

So the point of all this rambling? When the world’s going mad, turn away from it. There’s no shame in hiding from it, because unless you *can* change anything, all it will do is eat you up and spit you out, destroyed, body, heart and soul.

Sometimes the only thing we can do is live our lives the best way we can. And if enough of us did that, maybe then things might change. Me, I have to leave activism to the young these days. I hope they have as much fight in them as we had back in the eighties, campaigning against the likes of Cruise Missiles and on behalf of Greenpeace etc. We did what we could, even when we knew it wasn’t enough.

But NEVER be ashamed if you can’t be part of that. If all you want to do is hide away from the madness. Be proud, instead, of living a life you choose to, and of living it well. Because others see that. And what others see, they often emulate.

[azworkingdogs]

Should You Buy a Dog or Should You Adopt (Pros and Cons)

Adopting a dog is a subject that is very close to my heart.  Petfinder helps people find the right pet every day!

After all I work with dogs all day, and some of the best are adoptions.

So let’s discuss the pros and the cons of adopting a dog; and the pros and the cons of buying a puppy!

Puppies

We all love them!  And, to be honest I bought one puppy and adopted the other.

Puppies are a little bit less of a gamble when it comes to competition and integrating with other pets.

I  wanted a dog that I could compete in a very high level of protection sports with at that time in my life.

I did my research, her father was imported from Belgium and had earned a Schutzhund or IPO 3 (it was Schutzhund then).  He was also a known producer meaning his puppies were doing well in the competition world as well.  Her mother was a working police dog.

Ironically I grilled the police officer and tried to ensure that I would get a dog with an “off” switch.  Anyone who knows extreme working dogs like police or military dogs knows that sometimes they never shut off.  They are constantly moving and wanting to work.  Because I had kids in my life, I wanted a dog that could chill when she wasn’t working.

Thankfully, my hard work and questions paid off.  She was able to attain many titles including agility, protection, and dock diving as well as excelling in lure coursing.  We were even invited to compete together in AKC obedience.

Don’t get me wrong, I think I pretty much got the perfect dog (which isn’t always the case despite the effort) but thankfully it lessens your chances that the dog can’t do the work.

However, most people aren’t looking for a “working” dog.

My rescue was given to me because he had panosetitis and was given back to the breeder.  I also had high aspirations for him being able to compete at a high level in protection sports but he had different plans.  I later realized he was dropped from their bed bug sniffing problem (an indicator that his drive wasn’t as high as I wanted).  Or at least it is only on his terms.  I jokingly call him my flying dragon because he has no off switch!  And, that getting along with my other pets, even though I got him at 6 months he had aggression and possession issues

Instead of excelling at protection sports, we discovered he was really good at swimming and was a national champion in dock diving, fetch it, and chase it with Ultimate Air Dogs.

Long story short, if looking to compete is what you want; look into dogs that have pedigrees and high producing puppies.

If I want to compete at a high level in agility, I would be looking at Border Collies, Sheltland Sheepdogs, Labrador Retrievers or other breeds who’s mother and father have competed at that level.

If I want to compete in barn hunt, I would probably be looking for a Jack Russell or Norwich Terrier.

Sure, competing isn’t for everyone; but it can be a lot of fun and it gives you a great job to spend with your best friend.

I Don’t Want to Compete

So you don’t want to compete but you do want to know a little bit more about what you are getting.

If I want a 30 pound dog and I am adamant that I can’t have a dog that is bigger because of the apartment complex that I live in; I probably don’t want to take the risk on a puppy at a shelter.  I would want to stick with a dog that I know what size I am getting.

Also, different breeds have different personalities.  Want a couch potato get a Greyhound.  Want a dog constantly ready to move and you like hiking all weekend for hours at a time, get a Rhodesian Ridge Back.  The AKC can help you find local breeders.

Figure out what fits in your family with your lifestyle.  Everyone is different when it comes to lifestyle, and what preferences people want to look at as well as size so look up lots of options and visit lots of breeders so you find the right person and a good ethical breeder.

Good breeders should welcome your questions and concerns because it ensures the time and effort that you are putting into keeping a dog that will likely live 8-15 years.

Adoptions

As much as I love choosing the right competition dog I also love shelter dogs.  The ASPCA can also help you find the right pet!

When I owned (although you never truly own a 501 (c)(3) non-profit), I got all of my guide dogs, service dogs and assistance dogs from shelters or rescues.  Although, I adopted mine as adult dogs.

And, although I love great rescue groups, there are some rescues that exceed normalcy in their requirements.  One rescue I know won’t adopt a Boxer to anyone who hasn’t had a Boxer, me included.  And, let me tell you I could handle just about any breed.  I also provide routine medical care and would walk my dog if I didn’t have a yard.  I understand that these rescues want to provide the best homes but sometimes I think they take things a little far.

The one nice things about really good breed rescue groups is that they intricately know the temperament of those in their care better than a shelter would.  They would better know if the dog has lived with other pets, or children and what environment may be best.  Just be careful.  I know one dog that was adopted out to a home and it takes 5 veterinary technicians and a giant muzzle to trim this dog’s nails or do anything it doesn’t like, like clean ears or bandage feet… again probably not something someone wants in a dog.

Puppies

Again, puppies are a little bit of a “crap shoot” if you will with their temperament as they age.  However most will get along with your cat easier if you teach them basic training and manners around them.

It is difficult to determine what breed of dog or dogs (let’s face it typically two pure bred dogs don’t get together and make puppies) most shelter puppies are a mixture of many things.   I think this makes them even more endearing.

A veterinarian I work with has a love affair with Mastiffs.  He has wanted a Mastiff for year and the bigger the better.  We often combine and comment about his favorite and my favorite Caucasian Ovcharka.  I suppose one day we will each have what we want.

However, his wife, who is also in law school accepted him adopting a puppy of unknown origin.  They called him a Cane Corso/Lab mix.  I joke that I see “pibble” (the nicer way to say Pitbull).  He is adorable no matter what breed he is but at 4 months old he is only about 27 pounds.  Clearly as an experienced dog owner it is still difficult to determine size.  And, btw Pitbull mixed breeds are some of my favorite puppy adoptions.

Again, he is adorable no matter what, but even his veterinary degree can’t tell him how big this puppy will get.  Another vet friend of mine adopted what she thought was a Shetland Sheepdog mix who turned out to be 70 pounds and also adorable.  Adopting a puppy can be fun but lots of work.

If in doubt and you want a small dog, try and stick with a dog that comes from a smaller and known mother.  Giant breeds are a bit bigger to accurately determine for any dog owner.

The only slightly negative thing I will say about shelter puppies is that most often their history is, of course, unknown and I am a firm believer in temperament genetics.  This is why I am so adamant about finding a dog that fits with my goals for a working dog.

I have seen puppies with EXTREME aggression at six weeks.  I know that is an unpopular opinion, but the truth is that you can see videos of it.  No one wants to think that anything is born with aggression issues but unfortunately I am more believer in nature versus nurture.  Sure, nurture is important but all the love in the world can’t change an aggressive dog into a dog with no issues.

Also puppy temperaments can change, just like going through puberty can change your temperament a bit as from who you were as a baby or young child.  The same can happen with puppies.  The puppy may have been social with other dogs at 5 months but not at one or two years.

Thankfully this is not frequent, shelter puppies most of them turn out to be canine good citizens.  And, remember as a dog trainer, I see the worst of the worst when it comes to aggression and behavior.

Adult Dog

Adopting an adult dog is probably my favorite option for most people.  I also love Greyhounds because I think they are usually great couch potatoes.  Paws on the Mountain can help you find the right one.

I know we have been through all the other pros and cons but adult shelter dogs or rescue dogs are like diamonds in the rough.  I think adopted animals also feel some gratitude when they get a forever home.

Also most of them have been to a veterinarian for a general vet exam and heartworm test.

People are soooooo worried that they are going to get someone’s problems but the truth is that it is just usually lack of training.

Don’t get me wrong, there are dogs with serious aggression issues in shelters and rescues.  But now a days it is more common for both of these kinds of organizations to temperament test prior to adoption.

Again, I am going out on a limb, and I know it is controversial.  But aggressive dog, dogs with possession issues or any dog that fails these tests should be euthanized.  Not all dogs are adoptable, it isn’t worth the risk.

So many good dogs get euthanized each day, why not euthanize the ones with aggression.

10 years ago I did a lot of temperament testing in a local humane society.  As we went through the shelter we kept passing a dog that was 8.  “Why aren’t we testing her?”   “She is 8 she will never get adopted.”

I was horrified and demanded to test her.   Not only did she pass (I could tell by her submissive behaviors in the kennel) she was also adopted out to a family that had a 4 year old.  They didn’t want a dog that needed potty trained and they didn’t want a dog that was rambunctious, would knock him down or steal his food.  She had several good years with her family.

I don’t understand all this time spent on “rehabilitation” when non-aggressive dogs get killed each day.

I have a friend that is known for this.  Her current “rehab” dog has to wear a muzzle in the house and out of the house.  That makes no sense for me.  This is a dog I would never trust and would never adopt out around kids.  But even those of us who don’t have kids of our own, we have kids in our life or that walk down the street or peer in your yard.

It has been proven that the majority of people who adopt from shelters are brand new pet owners.  Why add aggression to their already overwhelming plate!

So if you are looking to adopt a dog from a rescue or shelter look for those that have a 0 tolerance and also temperament test.  Ask to see the test.  Possession aggression can run rampant in adult shelter dogs.  But what happens if your child wanders near your new dog’s bowl?  Also what happens if your new dog steals “Barbie” and chases the dog down to take it away.  You want a dog that has NO possession issues at all!

NEVER, EVER, EVER take your children.  Yes, whether it is a puppy or adult  dog it will need to love your kids… but kids can’t leave a dog they fall in love which, which is basically all dogs.

When I was temperament testing for guide dog and service dogs there were several days if not weeks where I never took a dog home.  Trust your instincts.  You will find the right dog, there is no time limit on it and there should not be!

Look for temperament first in an older dog.  If you want an active dog, look for that active happy dog.  If you want a couch potato, look for a dog that is relaxed and happy.

You May Choose the Wrong Dog

It is OKAY to admit you chose the wrong dog, especially an adult dog.  It took about 3-4 weeks for an adult dog to begin to fit in well enough to show his real temperament.

I remember taking home a Golden Retriever that did great at my house but we liked to switch them up among us professional trainers.  He went to snack out of the cat box and my trainer friend’s 9 year old went to take him out and he snarled and lunged.

Tests are good and they weed out a lot but they aren’t perfect.

It is find to admit that the dog you chose isn’t a good fit.  People want to make you feel bad but this is a commitment that you are making for possibly 12 years or more.  You have no desire to live in an abusive relationship or have your child mauled.

Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work out.

Ironically we had a Doberman in our clinic on Friday of last week.  She was there for possible bloat and was 7 months old.  She was TERRIBLE.  She screamed she paced and was basically a terror.  I think she had lived with the breeder for all 7 months and had never been alone.  The owners had only had her for a week but were going to give her back because she wasn’t the right dog.

She had kids and the kids scared the dog and the dog undoubtedly screamed all day and night.  I fell in love with this mess and would have certainly fostered her!  This wasn’t the right home for her but with some serious work she could find the right home.

Remember adopting a dog, whether it be puppy or adult is a big deal and a commitment for the lifetime of the dog.  Do your research but don’t punish yourself with the wrong dog!  The right dog is out there for you and your family.

The post Should You Buy a Dog or Should You Adopt (Pros and Cons) appeared first on TheDogTrainingSecret.com.

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[angrybananastudentus-blog]

All the pieces You Wanted To Learn about Dairy Farms

Every thing You Wanted To Know about Dairy Farms

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[davidchill]

Ghosting, friending, and defence mechanisms

I’ve been feeling quite introspective lately, especially since moving into my new abode. Much has changed, so there’s undoubtedly going to be a period of instability and transition. The house doesn’t quite feel “homely” yet, possibly because I’m still perusing a popular online auction website for items of furniture, and I haven’t had an influx of guests like I had when I first moved into my flat. Although that’s what happens when you move away from the vast majority of your friends.

Fortunately, I’ve been doing a lot of writing, and I use the word “fortunately” because it’s been tremendous therapy. I’m not sure how my brain would cope if I couldn’t let things out, either in written or spoken form. Although I’m not sharing the writing just yet as it’s taking the form of a long-awaited book called “Lunakita”. I’m absolutely determined to nail this baby within the next few weeks, so if that means little contact with the outside world then so be it.

The book was originally about my struggles with Luna, but the more I write it’s becoming clear that it’s equally about my struggles with human beings - including myself. It’s had me reading quite a lot of articles on psychology, particularly on coping mechanisms and how they manifest in individuals. Avoidance, denial, displacement, humour (nailed that one).

Although my humour is really an acquired taste. Like Marmite, blue cheese, or gin. So not for everyone. I think this brings me to ‘avoidance’, where I’m actually dreading the idea of sharing my book. Deep down I know some people will hate it, but I also know others will love it.

For me, I suppose my worry is “What if people hate the one thing I think I’m any good at?” Yes, it could be universally lambasted, but we’ll cross that bridge if or when we come to it…

As I’ve been reading, one particular psychological phenomenon caught my eye, and that was “ghosting”. For those not familiar with the term, it basically means “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly, and without explanation, withdrawing from all communication”.

It sounds harsh, and extremely unkind, but apparently it’s quite a common occurrence in this day and age. I have to say that I’ve never been in a “relationship” only to be “ghosted” but you’d be surprised at how many of my “friends” have gone off the radar over the last few years, and up until very recently. Well, maybe that doesn’t surprise you, and in which case you’re probably reaching for the plug…

I first noticed this shortly after I got a dog (and if you didn’t know I had a dog then you probably unfollowed me on social media a very long time ago) and then posted a blog about my anxiety and depression. Although at first there was a steady stream of supportive messages, after a while things petered out and went a bit peculiar…

A couple of people who regularly “liked” and commented on my posts suddenly stopped “liking” them... and as the silence grew more obvious I thought to myself… “I wonder how X is doing?” “Oh, they’ve unfriended me…” “Nice”

One prime example is a guy who sent me a message informing me that he was about to unfriend me on Facebook because I shared too many photos of my dog.

Yes, that actually happened.

At the time he said I should “mix things up a bit”, and used these exact words; “Give me the zest that you used to have!” “Where is the spark nowadays?”

I tried to explain that I’d actually been suffering with a bit of depression, and wasn’t really at my creative peak. Also, I didn’t mention this (because he clearly disliked Luna) but I’d actually just returned from a dog walk where some ignorant, screaming woman threatened to call the police because Luna pawed her border collie. So, to be blunt, I wasn’t in the mood for this crap.

Anyway, he “kindly” gave me a “stay of execution” (again, his exact words) whereby he’d monitor my antics to see if I “cheered up” a bit. I started to wonder if anyone actually cared about me as a human being, or if they were my Facebook friend because they wanted to be “entertained” by my status updates.

That particular Facebook friendship continued for a while, but it slowly ebbed away, and, quite recently, he finally pressed the button to terminate the “friendship”. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the guy as a person, and appreciate his own wit as I’m sure he once appreciated mine… but I certainly won’t be losing any sleep over it.

However, this wasn’t “ghosting” as he gave an explanation, and in all honesty, I have more respect for him than someone who just suddenly stops communicating.

Sadly, he had company. Someone else unfriended me over Luna posts, and I only know that to be true as her partner actually told me she didn’t like dogs. Yet every time I see her she gives me a big smile and enthusiastically asks how Luna is getting on. I do find that the people who moan about me behind my back are usually those who are the most “chirpy” when they see me… possibly because they’re overcompensating for their actual cold indifference against me.

I’m not entirely sure why some people choose to treat me with cold indifference, or whine about me to their spouse/partner. I’d consider myself to be a kind person, but that’s not a boast as kindness isn’t always appreciated. I’m also painfully honest and open, and not everyone appreciates that either.

I think some people, and I include myself in this, don’t believe they deserve kind acts bestowed upon them. It makes them uncomfortable, and they then feel a degree of pressure to return that kindness. It’s a bit like when that “annoying” neighbour slips a Christmas card through your door at 11pm on Christmas Eve… and it didn’t even cross your mind to send them one. I’m sure some people actually end up resenting people who are kind and giving. They end up resenting them so much that they then look for excuses to press the eject button on the friendship.

For the record, I’m never kind to people because I want an act of kindness in return. Yes, it’s nice to know that people care, but I could quite happily continue being the “instigator” when it comes to writing to someone I care about to see how they’re keeping. If you’re kind to someone because you want something in return, then that’s not kindness. That’s more along the lines of manipulation, which is not something I endorse.

I don’t think it’s a crime to want to spend time with people you actually like, but I sense that friendship in 2017 is often measured by how many times we actually “like” their status updates, as opposed to real, quality time, like going for a coffee or taking a dog walk together.

Everyone seems to be so insanely “busy” these days that we don’t make time for small acts of kindness anymore. We become so set in our ways, and engrossed in our daily bubbles and routines that we struggle to actually communicate with people we could really share a quality friendship with. This is why I’m going to make an exerted effort to be more open and affable with people.

The problem is that I can read people like a book. I know exactly when people are being evasive, especially in written form. To be honest, I think people know that… so they probably just find it easier to gradually cease communication, and quietly slip away, rather than be more “direct” (like Luna-hating guy) and risk ending up as a character in one of my books. 

Speaking of books, it’s time for me to get back to the grindstone (book) and also take multiple photos of my pooch to share all over social media. 

[beyondforks]

Release Day Review! Last Dance by Jeffe Kennedy

Last Dance (Missed Connections #1) by Jeffe Kennedy 

Genre: Adult Fiction (Contemporary Romance)

Date Published: February 28, 2017

Publisher: Brightlynx Publishing

It was five minutes. His hand on the small of her back. His eyes watching like there was no one else in the crowded club. His body a breath away from hers. A kiss full of heat and need and promise. 

But then the stranger disappears. And Charlotte Emory can’t forget him. Worse, according to the dating Rules she and her four best friends swear by, all she can do is post an ad online. No names, no numbers. Just a missed connection – and the hope he’ll meet her, and see where another dance leads.

Except Mr. Mystery has his game, too, and he isn’t playing for only one night. He tempts Charley into a daring exploration of power, lust, and suspense, where even the most innocent requests sound indecent…and the indecent ones make her burn all night.

If she plays by the Rules, they’ll never get past teasing each other. But rules were made to be broken…

Last Dance is the first book in the Missed Connections series by Jeffe Kennedy. I've read and enjoyed this authors books in the past so I was super excited for the opportunity to read this one. The blurb really got my attention. You can already feel the chemistry before officially starting to read the book. Charlotte was a fun character. Her dating rules were great, and not too bad of an idea in many ways. (Even if I did want her to break a few) Mr Mystery knew just how to play her game too, which is just what she needed. I loved the sides to him. The mystery side was full of excitement and the unknown. Then as you get to know bits of the real him, he's all the more endearing. The supporting characters are friends you'd want in real life, and I'm so glad they'll be getting their own books within this series as well. Plus, the whole Missed Connections on Craigslist aspect of the story was just plain fun too. Who hasn't entertained themselves and wondered about some of those people on that site? Last Dance was such a fun, naughty little romance that kept me wondering about Mr. Mystery in the most thrilling ways.

The ARC of Last Dance by Jeffe Kennedy was kindly provided to me by the author for review. The opinions are my own.

The problem with martinis is, although they look and taste fabulous—plus low carb, if done right—the steep slope of the glass makes them easy to spill. Disaster in the making. Particularly on the second round. Being a cautious sort, if only in this arena, I sipped at mine before taking another step and used the opportunity to survey the club’s offering of masculine company. And to let them get a good look at me. Take the spotlight when you can because there’s always someone meaner ready to upstage you. The bright bounce of lights glanced off a good set of shoulders here—and ooh, a very nice ass in black jeans there. A table of guys gave me a long look as I passed and I pretended not to notice, though the dark-haired one could be a possible. “Any likelies?” Amy asked, taking the fresh drink from me as I got to our table, blowing me a kiss of thanks. She wore a lacy black sheath she’d designed in her spare time and made from remnants at her job—and she made it look like couture, the talented bitch. I set down my own glass. “Nobody stands out as fabulous. But the table over your right shoulder might have potential.” “The night is young,” Ice observed, scanning the dance floor below with dark eyes. She’d refused another round, as had Julie. Both of them still nursed their first drink, though Ice—Anaisa, though only her professors called her that—was theoretically not supposed to drink alcohol. She made a regular practice of doing all the things her family disapproved of, which was fairly easy since most of them lived elsewhere, some of them in India. Marcia didn’t drink at all and she clutched her seltzer, clearly wishing to be at home. It was a rare Friday night that I didn’t have a show, Julie wasn’t slaving in her restaurant, and everyone else was free, too, so we’d talked Marcia into coming out with us instead of staying behind in our empty house. But no one could force her to have fun. Believe me, I’d tried. My own personal sacred mission. Saint Charley, that’s me. “I gave the bartender Marcia’s number though,” I added, because I couldn’t resist. The girl needed poking. “He said he wanted a virgin sacrifice for some shamanistic ritual.” “Oh, ha ha.” Marcia at least transferred her black look from the seltzer to me. “There’s nothing wrong with saving myself.” “Saving is economical.” Amy nodded, making a serious face. “A virtue, even.” Julie licked off the end of the plastic gecko tail the Lizard Club used for drink stirrers. “Unless you count hoarding. Then it turns ugly.” “Oh my god. That show is riveting.” Ice shuddered. “I’m horrified but I can’t look away. Even in reruns.” “It’s a disease.” I deflected Marcia’s glower of warning with my best Julia Roberts angelic smile. It’s a good one. I’ve practiced it. “You can’t judge people like that—just give them your compassion and try to help. Or refer them to social services.” “Charlotte Emory, I’m going to crawl across this table and strangle you if you don’t shut up,” Marcia growled. I batted my lashes at her. “What? I’m just trying to help.” “Well, you’re not. I’ll find the right guy sooner or later.” “Sooner is more likely with you pried out of the house,” Ice noted. “And later than anyone we know,” Amy toasted her with a martini already half gone. “Than the rest of the known universe.” Julie poked Marcia with the gecko tail, which at least diverted Marcia’s attention onto her. “I hate all of you.” Marcia folded her arms. “Why don’t you go dance already?” “Hello, ladies.” Ooh, right on cue, Mr. Dark Hair had come through. His gaze fell on me and I returned his very charming smile. “Wanna dance?” he asked me. Yes. Yes, I did.

Check out my reviews of the Covenant of Thorns Trilogy by Jeffe Kennedy!

Jeffe Kennedy is an award-winning author with a writing career that spans decades. Her fantasy BDSM romance, Petals and Thorns, originally published under the pen name Jennifer Paris, has won several reader awards. Sapphire, the first book in Facets of Passion has placed first in multiple romance contests and the follow-up, Platinum, is climbing the charts. Her most recent works include three fiction series: the fantasy romance novels of A Covenant of Thorns, the contemporary BDSM novellas of the Facets of Passion, and the post-apocalyptic vampire erotica of the Blood Currency.  

Jeffe lives in Santa Fe, with two Maine coon cats, a border collie, plentiful free-range lizards and a Doctor of Oriental Medicine. Jeffe can be found online at her website: JeffeKennedy.com or every Sunday at the popular SFF Seven.

To learn more about Jeffe Kennedy and her books, visit her website.You can also find her on Goodreads, Facebook, and Twitter.