#although when i was over at my friends i had THE most uncomfortable sleep ever

[celeryw]

actually need to go to bed i have been waking up extremely late

[overnowsfcb]

worth it for once; pedri

summary: sometimes the show must not go on. what happens when the curtains fall?

warnings: angst, smut (dom!pedri, pool sex, hickey, blow job (v), masturbation and self-masturbation (p), pet names) mature language, abuse of alcohol, toxic relationship dynamics, emotional distress. if any of these topics makes you uncomfortable, i advise against reading this story.

word count: 5.9k

note: hi! first of all i wanted to thank everyone who interacted with 'halfway out the door', you don't even know how much it means to me that people can read my stories. i knew i said i would do some fluff, but i feel like im not good at it. i cant seem to let the reader be happy can i? (this fic is so long i feel like i got a bit carried away)

p.s.: this is my first time ever writing smut, im sorry if its too bad. also! 'halfway out the door' has ninety percent of possibility to have a second part.

p.s. 2: the party ended an hour ago and he still there. another thing that i wanted to say is that FOR ME 'slut!' is not a love song so that is my reason for this, i take my interpretation of the song and write it down — venus 🫂💐🫧

The sun's rays slipped through the white curtain covering the partially open window, letting in the morning breeze. You nestled in the sheets, still drowsy, but as you did, you snapped wide awake, realizing once again that Pedri wasn't by your side.

You turned over, hoping it was a dream, but the only remnants of him in the room were his lingering scent and memories of the night before, replaying in your mind.

The way he touched you, tracing each of the invisible scars left by your previous lovers who sought only their own pleasure, using you to their liking without paying attention to your desires.

He was different. His kisses felt like a religious experience, filling you with an ever-growing sense of fulfillment. Nothing wrapped around you more securely than the feeling of having him inside of you, merging under the lustful gaze of the moon that welcomed you on a tailor-made altar, adorned with soft sheets and sensations that turned into a celestial orchestra.

And although the next day, perhaps his flaws became evident, your infatuation took you beyond, closing the curtain of the stage within your mind; you didn't have to be displeased or critical when admiring a work of art, right?

When the strength left from the previous night was regained under pressure, and your mind returned to the frosty present, you sat up in bed, feeling your head heavy, needing to blink several times to clear the blurriness that clouded your eyes due to sleep.

Your feet rested on the wooden floor. You didn’t want to face another day with the pain of the mandatory conviction your heart held towards your mind, aiming it with a gun if it tried to move from there.

You sighed with closed eyes and gathered your clothes scattered around the room. When you finished dressing, you approached the window and inhaled a breath of air to refresh your thoughts.

You left your room; the squeak of the door echoed through the house, signaling to Elena that you had already woken up. You couldn't lie; you were afraid to face her.

She, your best friend since you desperately looked for someone to share an apartment with after the owners of your previous apartment unjustly left you out in the cold.

She, who warmly welcomed you full of empathy and commiseration, helped you deal with the storm by receiving you in a studio apartment with an air mattress. She became the person you adored most in the whole world and never lacked frankness in her words.

Both of you moved forward together; now, you succeeded in modeling, and you could search for something much more comfortable living now in a pent-house, but always side by side.

You arrived at the spacious kitchen connected to the dining room and were met with an exquisite aroma, akin to the dishes she professionally prepared. You tied your hair in a ponytail and moved the chair to sit facing the counter.

Crossed fingers and your chin resting on your hands, you noticed she expected your presence when she twisted her torso, leaving a plate with toast and homemade raspberry jam on the marble counter in front of you.

You waited a moment to grab one of the perfectly made toasts and spread the jam in the toast; you felt the tension in the air. You knew of her disapproving stance regarding your situation with Pedri, and you knew she was preparing the usual sermon.

"Want to say something about it?" It was as if she had read your mind; turning her back, you sat up straighter on the stool, your distressed chest making your heart pump more blood than usual.

"No," you replied dryly, as you took a bite of toast.

"Alright, then it'll be up to me." You felt fear travel up your spine to the buzzing in your head and a high-pitched tone ringing in your ears.

You tried to breathe normally, but it was impossible. Her actions guided your eyes; she put the angel food cake in the oven and turned around, sitting on the stool in front of you, looking at you incredulously.

"He left at seven in the morning. When was the last time he stayed the following morning with you? I know you don't want to hear this, and I understand that you're into him. But don't let that blind you from what's really happening here. You're too intelligent for this, too good for someone who treats you like an option." Her words were always harsh, and she never hesitated to tell you the bleak truth without flinching. But it wasn't what you needed now, and her words were insignificant in front of the formidable figure that Pedri occupied in your mind.

There were very few people who dared to challenge your perspective, and Elena was brave enough to do it, even though her attempts always ended in defeats.

And defeats consisted in your denial, where you decided to take off your glasses after seeing what was there. You knew it existed and acknowledged it deep down, but hearing someone throw out statements so lightly without knowing him in the homely intimacy where he could unfold without prejudices, was something only you could discover.

The 'Open Sesame' didn't work with all tones, and not everyone acquired the privilege of opening such a treasure. So, you assumed it was envy.

"Maybe it’s a mess, maybe it’s complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a damn!" Your voice began to rise in volume the more anger you vented at her, who was innocent of it all. You noticed her furrowed brow, her attempts to help, every time she threw you a lifeline, you chose to ignore it, believing you could swim the remaining yards to shore alone.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, trying to find a balance, but your aggressiveness seemed to have reached its peak.

"I’ll sort it out myself, alright?" You exhaled, continuing your defense. "So just back off, Ele. I’m sick of needing your approval for everything. I’ll make my choices, even if they’re not in your rulebook." You spoke with a passive-aggressive tone. "You think you know him? You have no clue, none whatsoever." You got up from your seat, giving the countertop a light tap, and shook your head indignantly.

"I just want what's best for you, y/n," She whispered, looking you in the eyes with honesty. You headed towards the door disappearing from her sight.

You knew that she wanted to protect you like she did from the very first moment.

Despite being your age, she showed herself to be more mature than you. You were like her baby chick, and she had the instinct to keep you under her wings, but she had to admit that you had to learn defense by yourself.

And sometimes you need to fail to build your path.

There was no better remedy in your routine than drowning yourself in work to stop thinking about all the dilemmas surrounding your life. At least for a few hours.

Growing within the fashion industry was difficult without contacts; if you wanted to achieve something, you had to consider the hurdles you might carry in your backpack. But your resilience and pride prevented anyone else, terrified of having a future of subordination, from winning.

Today's meetings were about agreements for your brand, a dream that grew with you from your mom reading you bedtime stories to the present day.

You had put so much effort and creativity into your project that, regardless of what happened externally, your priority would always be there. No affair or argument could steer you away from that.

All your distractions due to logical thoughts vanished upon arriving at your apartment. You turned on the lights; Elena had left you a message informing you that she would stay at her boyfriend's house for the night.

Your home felt empty without her blasting music through the speakers and constant movements around the house. You cracked your neck, leaving your faux leather coat on the entryway rack. You lazily tossed your bag onto the couch, sitting beside it. You unbuckled your heels, freeing your feet.

A contained sigh escaped your nostrils, easing your chest a bit. You heard thousands of notifications coming from your bag. Worried, you unzipped it and searched for the phone, unsure of what was happening.

You glanced at the news headlines and the numerous social media posts where you were being tagged. You thought you had successfully escaped last time. The carefully revised alibi by both managers to divert media attention from your relationship had been futile.

But it seemed not entirely effective; without any evidence or concrete proof, just a blurry and deficient photo was enough for them to create a compelling scene for the public.

You clicked on a specific article; its name caught your attention, "The New Target of Love: The Boy in Her Chaos - Will He Survive?" You knew it wasn't the smartest decision you could make; the echoes of the voices of the people closest to you resonated in your ears. But you were alone and had nothing better to do at that moment.

The devil on your right shoulder encouraged and forced you to keep reading; with each sentence and word, your tear ducts were ready to expel the salty drops from your eyes.

You couldn't understand why journalists consistently targeted your romantic relationships instead of focusing on your professional endeavors, where you worked, and strived every day to show the world that you were more than just a pretty face. But in a sexist world, you had to accept without a murmur the things they wrote without any pity, driven by money and interactions.

Had you signed up for this life, or was it something gradually inserted into your brain about what it had to be?

You found yourself seated at your computer with a bottle of wine by your side, seemingly engrossed in reading each of the articles criticizing you and perpetuating a negative reputation of yourself.

You had poured a small amount of the burgundy liquid into your glass. Some sort of masochism consumed you, and without noticing, you began to pour more and more wine into the glass, your heart filling with misery, pausing at every clever word that defined your identity on the internet. Because all of the words seemed monotone.

Until the glass was no longer enough to swallow the bitter pill, you stared at the bottle, contemplating your next move. You shrugged and reached for the bottle with difficulty, your vision truly distorted, no longer having a sense of space.

You leaned back in the couch and took a long swig that burned your throat, feeling your heart rate rise.

You decided you had gone too far, abruptly leaving the computer on the table in front of you. When you tried to get up, you fell backward by inertia, unbalanced. That's when you realized you weren't even paying attention to the news but mindlessly scrolling your mouse.

The tears you had been holding back for over an hour and a half streamed down your cheeks immediately. Now, you couldn't turn back and felt trapped within your own uncontrollable body.

Gut-wrenching sobs made your body tremble, and at that moment, all you could think of was his touch, how every time you cried, he carefully wiped your cheeks and assured you that this too shall pass.

With tears and alcohol blurring your vision, it wasn't hard to find his number as you had it pinned in your messaging app. You opened his chat and immediately tapped the call icon.

You placed your phone to your ear, hearing the beeps from the other end, while your body, consumed by sorrow, couldn't help but continue shedding tears.

You perceived a noticeable change from silence to a clear indication that the call had been answered. You tried to stifle your crying by biting your lip, but it seemed this battle wouldn't let you emerge victorious.

"Love, are you crying?" You wanted to respond, but his voice only intensified your desire to cry; you longed to feel his warmth. You still didn't understand why you decided to go this far. "y/n, I'm worried. Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?" You tried to take a deep breath to provide an answer.

You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and then placed it on your chest, trying to assist in the calming process. "It's so exhausting." These were the words that came out of your mouth as you exhaled.

He still didn't understand exactly what you were talking about, but you kept talking. "I think I can't be with you anymore." Your voice came out strained; you truly didn't want to say those words. You clung to the arm of the chair with one hand, squeezing it, waiting to hear the response on the other side.

"What?" He couldn't comprehend how he had woken up at two in the morning, and you were talking about cutting ties. "Love, listen to me. Why don't you go to sleep, and tomorrow, we spend the day at the country house?" On the other end of the line, he easily realized the moment he picked up that you were drunk.

"Okay." You affirmed with a nod, resting your head on the armrest, and lifting your feet to stretch out on the sofa. "I love you a lot." Your face contracted again, a sign that tears would return.

"You too." He replied, and you were the one who ended the call, slightly calmer about the reflections the articles had left and the incoherent thoughts that had arisen from them.

You left the phone by your side and curled up, hugging yourself, seeking warmth without the help of a blanket. You closed your eyes, praying that the world would change radically tomorrow, although you knew it was an unlikely hope. You never wished more than for whoever was in the sky to give you a new chance to love in the right way.

You needed to believe in someone; you needed assistance from the universe to not lose the hope that once brought you immense joy. But perhaps genuine love was like Santa Claus, and sooner or later, it would crumble like any other ingenious belief.

And like a shrewd child who receives his Christmas gifts with the same enthusiasm even after learning the hidden truth, you dipped your feet into the transparent chlorinated water.

He watched each of your movements attentively, leaning on one of the pool edges. You plunged, soaking your entire body, and swam towards his direction, resurfacing enveloped in laughter with him.

He embraced you, sharing some of his warmth to your cold body due to the sudden change in the water, and you placed your hands around his waist, looking up at him from his chest.

"I love you so much." You bit your lip, seeking an outlet for your love. He rested his hands on your cheeks and began planting short kisses that spread across your entire face.

"I love you more." He reciprocated, giving two gentle taps on your legs. You jumped, and he took you into his arms grabbing your ass.

Quickly, he changed his position, leaving your back resting on the cold pool wall. The chills went up through your spinal cord, fusing the temperature of the edge and its expression, which never went out of style to make you think that everything you needed was there, with him.

You ran his sculpted shoulders with your palms open, feeling his muscles and intertwined your fingers behind his neck, brushing his hair.

Your lips brushed, and you could feel the electricity that could arise from a simple and minimal contact.

He brought his face to you, holding you tight against the concrete.

It was undeniable the indissoluble bond tied by the threads that led you each time to the same situation, and the core of your life was nourished by its bond.

As your lips collided with fervor, eager to quell the fervent passion, you pulled him closer with your legs still entwined around his waist. Feeling his hardness against your core ignited arousal as he pressed himself firmly, and both of you gasped in the midst of the kiss at the electrifying contact.

Your lips didn't want to part, too hungry for each other's sweet taste. You caught his lower lip between your teeth, pulling it gently to invite your tongue into his mouth. It had become sloppy as you lightly tugged his hair, eliciting a groan.

His hand stealthily ascended, never parting from your lips, traveling from your ass to the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

His tender lips traced a pattern from your cheeks to your neck. You tilted your head back, offering more of your skin for his exploration.

Expertly, his fingers unraveled the straps of your bikini with a single pull, still nestled in your neck. As the air grazed your tightened nipples, your breath hitched when he took one between his fingers, fidgeting and further intensifying the sensation.

Your sensitive boobs elicited desperate whimpers as he continued grinding against you, creating a symphony of pleasure. The air thickened, and your bodies radiated heat.

His lips passionately suctioned a spot, causing your eyes to roll. You were well aware that he would leave a hickey there.

Moving from your neck, his lips trailed down to your collarbone. Frustration built as he skillfully teased the sides of your breasts, deliberately avoiding the attention where you craved it most.

"Pedri, please..." You gently tugged his strands, prompting him to lift his head. Counterfeit innocence gleamed in his pupils.

"What do you need, amor? Tell me, is there something I can do for you?" His gentle caress graced your cheek, and you melted into his simmering touch.

"Please..." He ceased grinding, his hand swiftly traversing to your neck, as your hand descended, grazing his abs.

"If only you could see this beautiful hickey right now," He whispered, tracing the mark and toying with you, his actions inviting your response as he often did.

It was exasperating; no matter how frequently you found yourself in such moments with him, articulating your desires remained a challenge.

"Just do something," you uttered, a touch of despondency in your voice, pouting with pleading eyes. Yet, he remained resolute.

"I just don't know what you want." He shook his head, gently placing a strand of hair behind your ear, mimicking your pout with a teasing tone.

"Alright... just please, babe, suck my tits," you replied with a hint of frustration. His corners lifted, forming a smile, having successfully achieved his goal.

"There she is, that's my good girl, aren't you?" You couldn't help but nod several times steadfastily, just wanting him to stop playing.

His face vanished from your sight as he covered one of your breasts with his mouth. A loud moan escaped your throat, a sound of satisfaction for him as he moved his tongue, savoring your skin. "Was it that difficult?" He gazed at you once more, and you sighed in irritation, prompting him to raise his eyebrows, questioning your actions.

"No." Your fingers traced his chest as he continued sucking with determination.

Moving lower, you reached the edge of the swim trunks' fabric. However, as you did, he pulled away with a frown. "Who said you could touch?" You mirrored his expression confused.

"Last night, you scared me a lot. Do you think it was funny for me? No, so you can't decide who's having fun, okay?" Your chest felt heavy, yet you found a strange allure in his dominant low voice, even though you wanted to object.

"I thought..." He wrapped his hand around your neck, pulling you back and shutting your mouth with his thumb. He watched as you sucked it, humming and biting his plump lips.

"You didn't think shit. Now, jump." He firmly gripped your hips, lifting you effortlessly to the pool's edge. Seated, you patiently awaited his guidance, uncertainty accelerating your heartbeat.

Intense eye contact heightened the tension. His fingers delicately traced over your thighs, starting from the outer part, then gently grazing your clothed intimacy. He devoured you with his gaze.

"Lean back for me, baby." You did as he pleased leaning in your elbows.

He tapped on your thighs, a signal to lift your hips, and he removed the sole fabric covering your body and throwing it to your side. He took your legs and placing them over his shoulders. Spreading you open. A groan escaped him at the sight, reveling in your arousal.

"So wet, just for me," he murmured, running his fingers through your folds, collecting your juices and parting your lips to spread the liquids.

You pressed closer, yearning for more. "Just for you." Suddenly, a firm spank on your sensitive area made you shudder, and you gasped. "Behave," he commanded, throwing you a dominant look.

Circling your clit, he gradually increased the pace. Tilted back, moans escaped uncontrollably. Another spank followed, and you met his gaze. "Keep your eyes on me, princess. Watch as I pleasure you like no one else could."

His words wielded a powerful influence in every scenario. Returning to your pussy, he made his way to slip two fingers inside you easily as you were soaked by now. The reflex to close your eyes surfaced, but his commanding words echoed in your mind.

He initiated a rhythmic motion, penetrating and withdrawing, targeting your most sensitive depths, obscene wet sounds, thumb still teasing your bud. Overwhelmed by the intensity, you sought stability, bringing your index finger to your mouth, biting down to anchor yourself. "You can grab my hair, baby," he suggested, prompting a satisfying sigh as you obediently followed his directive.

As the synchronization of your movements intensified, he decided to elevate the pleasure further. His mouth joined the sensual dance, lasciviously spitting your core, eliciting a contented hum from you.

As his mouth drew near your clit, enveloping it ably, a scream escaped your lips, worthy of a scene of a pornographic film. His name slipped through your mouth, an inadvertent encouragement that fueled his tenacity to excel, delve deeper, move faster, and render you numb in ecstasy.

In the intimacy, he displayed a reflection of his approach on the field, always seeking ways to enhance and achieve peak performance, a relentless pursuit of reaching his full potential at what he knew he was one of the bests, even when he didn't want to admit it.

There was no sweeter melody than your filthy moans. His crotch throbbed aching, aware that just a few pumps would make him reach his climax. But he needed to focus on you first, even though he rolled his hips against the concrete, trying to calm down his needs.

He groaned, shutting his eyes and digging his tongue into your hole. Your legs entwined around his neck, the tight knot of pleasure building as you moved your hips in tandem with the rhythm of his tongue.

"Pedri, I'm..." You shouted, the words hanging in the air unfinished, as he entered both, fingers with tongue, increasing the pace with each successive motion.

He opened his eyes again, locking onto yours, brimming with passion beneath the sun. His nose brushing against your clit, combined with his bambi-like eyes in contrast to the authority he held over you, escalate the moment as you tightly grasped his hair, evoking the release of your juices.

He couldn't help but stop pressing against the wall and squeeze his shaft inescapably, captivated by the way you adhered to what he said, even if it meant he had to assert control with a firm hand, correcting your inclination to lean back a few times.

He loved how obedient you were and how your body reacted.

Your high-pitched sounds spurred him to slip his hand inside his swim trunks, almost moaning at the sensations created by his own touch and the enticing arch of your back. He found himself immersed in the sweet taste and intoxicating fragrance that surrounded him.

He went up and down with his hand on his dick fervently, trembling in sync with you. "Are you going to come, my love? Do it for me," his deep voice making you feel so close. You played with one of your hardened nipples between your fingers. You affirmed with the other hand on his hair, and he hummed against you in response. "Oh, my god." you mumbled.

His vibrations heightened your euphoria, and the combination of his tongue and fingers left you feeling overstimulated. As you screamed arching your back, you became undone, laying flat, straightening your arms at your side and shuddering as you felt him persisting in his ministrations.

Too blind to reach his own pleasure to think about anything else, he continued pounding his dick, gripping his tip as he parted his lips, releasing ecstatic sounds and feeling the reverberations across his body. Leaning against your abdomen, he sensed his shots filling his shorts as he lowered his pace.

You tenderly ran your fingers through his sweaty hair, both basking in the tranquility of the moment as his chest rose and fell. Minds empty.

"Come here, baby," you whispered. He propelled himself up from the water and leaned flat at your side.

As you lay down on the cold poolside with him, he placed his hand on your waist, burying his head in your neck. He rubbed his nose, sensing how your perfume delicately mixed with expelled pheromones, obtaining a small giggle from you.

You swung your leg over his waist, leaning your chest towards him, and stroked his wet hair.

"Thank you," you smiled with closed eyes, sighing. "It's just what I needed."

"I like hearing that," he said, pulling away from your neck to look into your eyes. You looked like a fallen angel with your smudged mascara, swollen lips, tired eyes, and blush spreading across your cheeks.

His gaze instinctively dropped to your neck, observing the love mark on your skin. Though in his mind, he still questioned if this was truly love.

Without delving too much into his thoughts, he gently pecked your lips.

"Pedri..." you sighed, coming down from the adrenaline rush. Sitting up, you supported yourself with your hands and looked at him, recalling internet articles and Elena's words.

"Already want to talk about that?" he asked, huddled up, absorbing the remaining sunlight.

"I'm going to shower," you said, rising from the ground, creating a space for anticipation, allowing him to process and reflect. You knew the house perfectly, having visited many times with the understanding that no one could see you and spend the entire day together.

But meaningful memories were scarce, and you clung to them, hoping that someday it could be more than the fear of being seen together, unable to go to a restaurant or travel together.

You entered the shower, letting the cold water make you reconsider your beliefs. You trusted that, for the first time, you had found something real, a gentleman who stood out in the world of ordinary men, wanting to keep you safe.

You also trusted that you would walk on nails and endure all the thorns of a rose just to be with him. But genuinely, love should be about facing painful situations to prove love for a person, or love should feel welcoming, a place where you would stay for eternity if it had to be so?

You analyzed it, the rain falling on you as you cleaned your body. You wouldn't stay with Pedri; he never felt like a place where you could unload all your baggage without fear.

After all, coming from past relationships, he was your sanctuary at first, stemming from more deficient and unstable experiences. You couldn't stop the solitary tear that escaped your eye.

Since the night you met, you should have realized that nothing good could come from something that was supposed to be just for a night. But you didn't want to listen.

You left the shower, unable to continue ruminating in your head without fainting in the attempt. The drops that weren't allowed to fall from your tear ducts were released by your hair.

You grabbed your clothes, still absorbed in your thoughts. When you finished dressing, you placed your hand on the doorknob. Behind it lay the definition of the future of this strange relationship, and the confrontation was something that terrified you.

You walked into the living room to find him seated, wrestling with his thoughts, head bowed, facing away. Approaching him, you crossed your arms in front of his neck and hugged him, taking in his freshly scented and the slight dampness of his hair. He looked at you wearily, unsure of what would happen, and you gave him a kiss on the cheek before sitting next to him on the gray sofa.

You took his hand with love; you couldn't deny that, despite everything, he had been the source of most of your joys in the last four months. You took a deep breath before letting it out and started speaking.

"Are you mine?" His hand tensed, and his brow furrowed. He didn't understand where such a sudden question came from.

"What?" He responded confused, almost pulling away from you.

"Are you mine or not?" You still hoped for a more certain answer.

"I don't understand where your question is coming from." His expression showed he had never really thought about something like that. At least, was there some kind of feeling for you in his heart? You wondered which person you had been with all this time.

"Just answer it." You let go of his hand; your voice carried a tone of desperation and anguish. You knew you wouldn't get anywhere, but you still needed to cling to the few hopes that remained.

"I don't understand what you mean by 'yours'; we never talked about..." He tried to make another excuse in front of your eyes. It felt as if he were treating you like a little girl, who would eventually leave the question unanswered once she got tired.

"I need to know where we stand! Do you want to be with me or not?" You no longer knew why you kept trying about something that wouldn't change. You stood up from the sofa, and he avoided looking at you.

"Why do you have to make it so complicated? We're just having fun." He shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head. That response could have been worse than a straightforward no.

"Having fun? Do you think I'm with you to have fun with how the media calls me a slut, Pedro?" You shook your head in disbelief, letting out a bitter, pained laugh. "Four months enduring your ambiguities while defending you in front of my friends, saying you needed time." Your voice faltered, recalling all the arguments you had faced, thinking that at some point, everything would change.

"I didn't think you felt that way." He detached himself from his actions, as if it were so simple. Still avoiding eye contact.

"You said you loved me! Did you ever feel genuine love for me?" Your heart tightened; all this couldn't be a big lie where you were the only one playing a game that was already resolved.

"I don't know." He whispered, unsure of how you would react to such an unsure yet determinant answer. Your eyes blurred with contained tears; you couldn't cry like this in front of him.

"You knew everything you were doing; you knew that I was yours, and you didn't care." You screamed, desperate for him to show some emotion, to show that something of everything you had experienced had a hint of reality.

"It wasn't like that." He replied in the same flat tone, this time looking at you and realizing the tears that were falling, while you were motionless, feeling the room spin around you, and your ears ringing again.

"It was exactly like that." You had been sincere from your first conversation, under that neon light on a private yacht. A party where you didn't want to be, he approached you for that simple reason; you were the only girl who hadn't looked at him.

And you had found someone whom you thought had the will and power to heal all your wounds. But you ended up dancing with shadows in glass, with something ephemeral that you thought could be eternal. While you ended up being one of the many prey in his history.

"I gave you everything, I told you about my past and how I needed someone to trust, and you ended up being like everyone else." You released a silent sob and headed towards the room, where you had left your backpack. You were supposed to spend a weekend together, and now everything was withered. Your feigned acts of believing that magic still existed were in vain.

"Where are you going?" You gasped, bumping into him in the door frame; he placed his hands on your shoulders, concerned.

"I called Elena; she'll come to pick me up." You hadn't even talked to your best friend when you sneaked away with Pedri at noon; she would do everything to stop you from leaving, and you preferred not to tell her. But she, without hesitation, as soon as you asked, was already on her way.

"We can try to fix it." You knew he was only offering the response your ears craved. But you weren't going to fall for his spells. This time, his method of still having your strings to manipulate you like a puppet wouldn't work.

"I won't be with someone who never cared about me." You walked to the door, lowering the latch, and turned around once more; he looked at you from a considerable distance. He wasn't going to try to stop you, and that was what hurt the most. "Good luck, Pedro."

You left the house, and the evening air enveloped you. You walked along the walkway made of rocks, each step feeling heavier than the last. Another relationship failing, another person disappointing and discarding you like a crumpled note, forgotten in the margins of a story that never reached its intended conclusion.

Your tears flowed freely down your cheeks now that you weren't facing him. You stood on the street, waiting for Elena to arrive. She had every right to tell you 'I told you so,' and she would be justified.

You saw her black car approaching from the end of the street, parking right in front of you. You hesitated for a moment to get in, embarrassed to ignore someone who only sought your happiness.

She rolled down the window, and your eyes locked inviting you in. Opening the door, she extended her arms, offering solace. Tears streamed down your face as you looked for refuge on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Ele." You lifted your head, and she gently wiped away your tears. Shaking her head, she dismissed your apologies.

"I'll always be here by your side. You're the one who needs to learn, but I'll never leave you adrift, okay?" You pouted, and your tears continued to flow.

You both settled back into your seats, stealing glances at the house. A part of you lingered there, and a lump formed in your throat. You sensed that distancing yourself was the only thing that could save you from descending into delirium. Now, you must gather the fragments of your heart once more and rebuild it on your own.

Your eyes went directly to the hickey he had left. You wanted to rip that skin off, not wanting to have him in your memories in any way.

Leaning your head against the window, you wondered what could have been if fame hadn't been the haunting specter in your life. You guessed that you will never actually know.

[barnesbabee]

[D]egradation || OT8

[ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴇɴᴄʏᴄʟᴏᴘᴇᴅɪᴀ - ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ D]

Summary: You find out your friends that you always thought saw you as "one of the boys" didn't exactly see you like that.

Pairing: OT8 x female!reader

Words: this is like the 3rd orgy that I write, you'd think I had one in the past but I have not

Genre: Smut

tags: @woosanbby @hwalysm

⚠️If you need warnings don't read my stuff you never know⚠️

You, Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho had been friends forever. You met as kids because you lived near each other and grew up together. The four of you were inseparable, and the thought of growing up and being sexually attracted to each other wasn't a problem because they made sure to specify to all of the partners that came and went that they did not see you as a girl when it came to the way you behaved with each other. And while that was fine with you for the most part, you did wish they saw you as a woman, because getting tackled by men who grew up to be almost 2 meters tall wasn't a fun time.

In high school, five other boys joined your group: Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San. They were incredible people, all different but you loved them all, and you enjoyed the time you spent together.

However, the recent additions caused a huge fight. You felt comfortable around the eight boys in general, but you didn't feel as comfortable as you did with Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho. You felt a little self-conscious when you all hung out and acted like one of them: play fighting, taking off whatever piece of clothing you were uncomfortable in, sleeping together when there were sleepovers, sharing intimate or private stuff that was on your mind... Nonetheless doing these things with guys you weren't well acquainted with was awkward. Sure, you had walked bare-assed in front of Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho, but that was just another Saturday for you.

The awkwardness and discomfort lead you to find some different friends, a group of girls that welcomed you when they saw you walking home alone after you had told the boys that you wouldn't be meeting them at Hongjoong's house that night. The original three boys you grew up with were beyond upset. They felt like they were being replaced, they missed you and they didn't understand why you were quietly drifting away. They didn't understand why you were choosing these girls you barely knew over lifelong friends... Was it because they were guys? Was the problem that unsolvable? Had they just lost you forever?

It wasn't until Yunho snapped one day and cry-yelled at you that you explained (in front of the whole group) that you didn't feel as comfortable with the eight of them as you did with the original three boys and it made it impossible to hang out altogether because it felt like there was a certain barrier.

"Y/N, I'm sorry I know this is between the four of you but I think I speak for the rest of us when I say that we all have different boundaries... San and Wooyoung are always on each other, cuddling and being mushy but Jongho clearly doesn't like that so they don't include him. Baby steps, Y/N, we're not all the same and enjoy being with you, we can compromise certain things to make you more comfortable... Until we all become closer, that is." Seonghwa, the voice of reason since day one, said, mid-fight.

That night you all got drunk and Yunho cried in your arms because he had missed you so much and then threatened to punch you the very next day if you ever brought up that moment.

Years passed and indeed you began feeling more comfortable around everyone else, and the boys you grew up with understood that although they saw you as an equal, they had to be careful 'cause they were a lot stronger.

Unbeknownst to you, you started becoming a real tease to them as time went by. Wearing their t-shirts, that were big enough to cover most of the "essentials" but still left some of your ass hanging out, whenever your nipples were visible through your shirts, when they could feel your tits press against them...

One particular summer day you were all hanging out, you were wearing one of Seonghwa's shirts and just trying to make a bowl of cereal. Mingi was sitting on the counter, already eating, while you struggled to get to the cereal on the top shelf. Your shirt was rising higher than usual, and Mingi could see your panties, the way they shaped your body, and the way your ass jiggled when you went from tippy toes to standing normally as you reached for the food.

"What are you looking at!?" You had asked.

Mingi then realized he was staring, and he realized what he was thinking of: grabbing your hair, bending you over right there, and fuck the innocence out of you.

"You just look particularly stupid today." He replied, trying his best to give a shitty excuse and not give in to his thoughts. Thankfully he always had good insults on his sleeve.

The staring was becoming increasingly common, and sometimes you caught them but never thought much of it: it had been so long since you'd been hanging out, surely one of them would've made a move if they were interested.

It wasn't until Yunho, fueled by the dirty thoughts in his head, straight up told you that you realized it and put the pieces together.

You were all hanging out in his living room, some watching TV, some gossiping, and some just on their phones. You were sitting beside Yunho, your naked legs on his lap. You weren't paying a lot of attention to him, you were listening to San gossip, until his hands separated your thighs. It was a little nudge, but it was enough to make you extremely aware of his touch.

Yunho felt a fire inside like he couldn't control himself anymore. He had seen you so many times but for some reason that day, he needed you. Your thighs on top of him, your shirt falling just in the right place to tease him, almost exposing your underwear but not giving him a peek of anything, the way you seemed to remain so innocent about everyone's intentions, his hands so, so close... Yunho couldn't help it.

After parting your things his hand slightly gripped the inside of the thigh closest to him. You felt something on the bottom of your stomach, it felt... nice. You didn't stop Yunho. His hand became a little braver, getting further and further up your leg.

Just before he could get to your pussy you gripped his wrist.

"Yunho, what are you doing?"

The question had a million meanings. You wanted to know what he was doing, where he wanted to get at, why he was doing it, why was he doing it in front of everyone...

Obviously what you said attracted all eyes in the room. Yunho gripped your thigh as if punishing you for alerting everyone else.

"Come on, don't act like you don't know that everyone in this room wants to fuck you." Yunho said, brushing your hair with one hand, contradicting the gripping of your thigh with a sweet act.

The room fell silent. The only thing that could be heard were the voices from the TV, and everyone had an undecipherable look on their face.

"What?" Was all you could say.

"I'm saying," Yunho paused and gripped your jaw, forcing you to look around the room "all of us want to fuck you. All of us."

You scoffed, surely he was taking the piss.

"Come on Yunho, stop joking."

He wrapped his large hands around your waist, picked you up, and put you down on his lap. Yunho rolled his hips up, so you could feel his hard cock.

"Does that feel like a joke?" He whispered in your ear.

"N-no..."

For the first time ever you were speechless around them. Your thighs were pressed together, you felt hot, and couldn't look anyone in the eye.

"Is... Is what he said true?" You asked, still unable to look at anyone.

Yeosang, that had been sitting beside you, grabbed your chin and made you look at him.

"Everyone in this room wants to use you like the whore we know you are."

While you were looking at Yeosang, you felt a pair of hands grab your thighs. You had been pressing them together, but stopped doing so, so the person you then recognized to be Seonghwa could spread them apart.

"Can we do it?" Seonghwa asked, his hand getting closer and closer to your core.

"Yes." You spoke without thinking. You didn't consider the aftermath or any other thing, you just said what you were feeling.

Seonghwa hooked one finger on the hem of your panties and pushed them to the side. His tongue worked on your pussy as Yunho's big hands trailed up your body and played with your breasts. Yeosang kissed you and your neck roughly.

You felt exposed, you felt watched, and you loved it. You loved the attention, you loved that you couldn't even count how many hands were on you.

You moaned into the kiss you shared with Yeosang as Seonghwa inserted one finger in you and kept eating you out. Yunho pinched your nipples and you arched your back in reaction.

You heard multiple groans echo in the room coming from the other boys.

Yunho was continuously grinding on your ass, and the pressure of his cock against your ass made it impossible not to get desperate. You softly pushed Yeosang away so you could speak.

"Fuck me Yunho, please."

Seonghwa pulled away and gave Yunho space to slide you down to his knees so he could pull out his cock.

"No need to ask twice princess."

Yunho rubbed his cock a couple times before finding your entrance and slamming you down on him. He gave you a couple seconds, before he began moving you up and down. Mingi stood up and removed your shirt so everyone could see your tits bouce, before giving you a quick, rough kiss. The tall man grabbed your hand and guided it to his cock and you began jacking him off as well as possible while being fucked by Yunho, who was absolutely mesmerized by the way your ass bounced against his thighs.

Yunho's hand gripped your throat.

"Look at you getting us off like a good whore, I bet you love being passed around, hm?" Yunho asked, then biting your ear.

You moaned loudly and nodded.

"Fuck, yes- I love it."

You heard Mingi scoff from above, before gripping your chin and making you look up.

"You were right Yunho, she is a filthy whore. We should've used her earlier."

"Don't tire her, we want to fuck her too." San demanded as he jacked himself off painfully slow.

Yunho slapped your ass and picked up the pace.

"Don't worry, she can take it."

The man was holding back, wanted to enjoy the feeling of being inside you, but when he saw Mingi cum all over your chest he came as well, buried deep in you.

Immediately after, San gripped your throat and pulled you up, until you were standing.

"On your hands and knees."

You obeyed his commands and got on all fours on the ground. Wooyoung knelt in front of you, his cock in your face, and San was being you. San was the first to enter you, with a groan. His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked at the place where you two connected as if it was a work of art, and since you couldn't see him, you wondered if San looked as beautiful as he sounded at that moment.

Wooyoung slapped his cock against your cheek.

"Come on baby, open up."

You opened your mouth and began sucking him off as he told you, making sure to maintain eye contact as you did so. Wooyoung grabbed your hair in a makeshift ponytail, as both men found a rhythm to fuck you in.

Wooyoung's face alone was enough to make anyone want to cum: he had his eyebrows furrowed, cheeks red and mouth agape as he looked at you taking his cock. He brushed back his sweaty hair and moaned.

San switched between slapping your ass and gripping your asscheeks with his hands, absolutely loving the way they jiggled every time he trusted into you.

"I bet you love being watched and used by all of us, hm? Just like the pretty little whore you are, fuck, so, so good." San said, hissing and moaning almost after every word.

The eyes on you, the men jerking off to you being fucked, the dirty talk, and the way San was fucking you were too much to handle and you were close. You tapped Wooyoung's thigh so he'd pull out.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum-"

Hongjoong pulled San away from you and replaced his place inside you. You sat up slightly, in a way that you could jerk Wooyoung and San off but could still be fucked by Hongjoong.

"Cum on my cock, come on."

Like as if you were being commanded, you came, and Hongjoong filled you up right after, as he had been edging himself just for that moment.

Upon seeing your pleasure-filled face and hearing your moans as you came, Wooyoung spilled all over your face, followed by San who, as you guessed, looked absolutely beautiful.

Hongjoong pulled out so you could sit on the floor and finish off the last three men. You switched between jerking them off and sucking them off, ready to cum once more not long after, absolutely turned on by the view.

Seonghwa noticed the way you were grinding on the floor.

"Come ride me Y/N. Now."

You got on top on Seonghwa, and began to ride him, still jerking off the other two men. They came on your chest and face, but Seonghwa held off so you could cum again. He played with your clit and, once he felt you tightening around his cock, sat up and helped you bounce on it.

You came and he came at the same time. You were still holding onto his shoulders as you caught your breath together. He tapped your ass, wiped the cum off of your lips with his thumb, and kissed you sweetly.

"You okay?" He asked, with sparkling eyes as if he hadn't just railed you.

"I'm okay, I feel a little exposed but I'm okay."

Yunho helped you up and cleaned you up with his shirt as best as he could.

"Go on and take a shower, I'll find some spare clothes, princess." Yunho said, and kissed the top of your head.

He couldn't help but give your ass a light slap as it jiggled when you walked away, shyly covering your front.

"So is this like, gonna be a regular thing?" San asked.

"No! Weirdo!" You yelled from the other room.

Yunho looked at all his friends and then spoke.

"I got dibs on her."

[rhey-007]

The Family Leclerc

Charles Leclerc x reader x Pierre Gasly

Summary: Agreeing to do Charles a favor turns into hell when you meet his family for the first time and proceed to spend Christmas with them as his fake girlfriend.

(Based on "The Family Stone")

A/N: It's a LONG one just so y'know. I recently saw "The Family Stone" for the first time (LOVED IT, you have to watch it, I think I cried like 5 times lol) and an idea for this fic just randomly popped up in my brain shortly after. I've been writing this for past 2 weeks and finished it just yesterday. I hope you'll like it :)) I also wish everyone happy Christmas or whatever you're celebrating! 🎄🎉

Warnings/Tags: female reader, vegetarian reader, Atheist reader, toxic family, orphan reader - basically reader is op 😅, family fluff, toxic Pascale, mentions of sex

Wordcount: 9465

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You never thought you’d ever find yourself pretending to be Charles' girlfriend. Yet there you were, getting out of his car seeing his whole family curiously looking at you through the window. You’ve known the Monegasque for a few years already and befriended him almost immediately but never met his family. That’s why you were the first person who came to his mind when his mother mentioned bringing a girl over for Christmas. His family was tormenting him about a partner for too long, so to make them calm down he asked you for this favor, even offering you money which you didn’t accept.

The house Charles rented in Austria was quite big, big enough to accommodate the 9 of you. It was made out of wood, with a forest near by and a great view at the mountains. It literally took your breath away. Although you felt a little uneasy feeling six pairs of eyes as the two of you made your way to the door.

“Don’t let them walk over you... They might be a little... Possessive and overprotective of me...”

The man explained ringing the doorbell and soothing your back with a smile. You had to admit you felt a little nervous. Heck REALLY nervous. You've heard so many things about them on your way there, some positive and some negative. Well... Mostly negative, but just because Charles wanted you to get ready for the chaos.

“Charlie!”

His mother appeared in the door a few seconds after, hugging her precious baby tightly and shooting you a glare.

“Hi mom, this is Y/N. I told you she’ll join us”

Charles disclosed before you greeted his mother with a firm handshake. You walked inside, the man instantly helping you with your coat, then introduced you to the rest.

“Y/N those are my brothers Lorenzo and Arthur. This beauty is Carla, Arthur’s one and only. And last but not least - Carlos and his girlfriend Rebecca, family close friends. Guys this is Y/N”

You smiled cutely at the 5 and hugged them gently before Charles and Arthur left to get your suitcases and Carla showed you the room you would stay in.

“Is everything alright?”

The girl asked soon, noticing you playing with your fingers uneasily. You shook your head with a soft smile. You couldn’t tell her you expected to sleep in a different room than Charles, could you? You both would feel uncomfortable as you were just friends in reality, but maybe in this skit you had to commit to the role a little bit more.

In meanwhile Arthur initiated a conversation with his older brother about you, who didn’t really like it.

“Really? This is her?”

The younger one asked taking out your bag from the trunk.

“What do you mean?”

Charles huffed slowly getting angry. From his whole family Arthur always seemed the most tolerant, but what he was about to hear changed Charles’ opinion completely.

“Come on man! Can’t you see it?! She’s just a bimbo falling for you money!”

“What did you just say?”

The older growled gripping Arthur’s collar and pulling close to himself. The vain on his forehead was about to pop and his face was all red as his gaze pierced through his brother. No one could say such gross things about you, especially not in his presence.

“Don’t you dare disrespect her like that”

He hissed letting his brother go and walking back inside with your bag. After they brought them upstairs, Charles dismissed Carla and Arthur before closing the door and sighing heavily.

“Charles?...”

You said quietly, sitting on his bed and playing with the hem of your beige golf sweater. He turned around to you and sat down beside. His hand rested on your thigh soothing it gently while he looked at you with an asking expression.

“So uh... I-I was hoping for a room for my own... I-I don’t know like a guest room or something... If that’s not a problem of course...”

Bitting your lip softly you looked down and felt the man’s hand stop. Was he disappointed? Yes. Did he expect that? Also yes. He exhaled gripping your limb.

“I can sleep on the floor, it’s not a pro-”

“What! No! It’s your room. I should be the one sleeping on the floor if there’s no free one! ”

You cut him off and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

“I can ask mom. I’m sure we’ll find something free. Now come on, let’s go eat something”

You followed the man downstairs to the dining room where Pascale and Rebecca set the table. When you eagerly offered your help the older woman completely ignored you, she didn’t even know you well enough to draw conclusions but apparently she already drew them on the porch. You wondered why though. Were you dressed improperly? If you could even call a beige sweater and black jeans an improper outfit... Maybe it was your makeup that alienated her from you. But you only wore mascara, some soft blush and lip oil...

Maybe it was Charles. Too perfect to have and don’t have a second half. Or maybe it was just Pascale hoping he would bring home someone she knew, someone she hooked him up with. You had no idea but had to know to improve your image in the older woman’s eyes and play the role of her child’s girlfriend better.

Once the table was ready, everyone sat down and said a brief pray – even though you weren’t Chistian you respected their beliefs and joined in the little act. By the time everyone started to eat you noticed your portion was just the same as everyone else’s – meatballs in tomato sauce with delicious puree and caesar salad - although you made sure Charles informed his mother you were vegetarian. You decided not to inform her by the dinner table, instead wanting to talk about it later in the kitchen alone but the blonde initiated the conversation herself when she noticed you pushing the meat aside.

“Is something wrong?”

She asked to which you didn’t respond at first, too occupied by staring at the plate. Charles’ poke got you out of trance and made look at his mother.

“Oh! Uh... N-No, everything’s alright. Why?”

“You didn’t touch the meatballs...”

The woman furrowed her eyebrows while you shrunk in your seat.

“Well uh... I-I don’t eat meat-”

Pascale burst out laughing not letting you finish your sentence, her kids following with faint chuckles, except of Charles.

“Mom, I told you million times...”

“But I didn’t thought you were serious! That’s just ridiculous! How can you live without eating meat? No wonder you look so weak”

You looked back down at your plate, not wanting to argue with her. Her words and laugh hurt you a tad, but Charles warned you she might be critical.

“Look at me when I talk to you-”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you miss but that’s who I am and you’re not gonna change that. I’m sure the meat is tasty, just as the rest, but I won’t eat it nonetheless”

You snaped not being able to hold yourself back anymore. No woman should disrespect another woman. Your words brought a smile to Charles’ lips, he was proud of you for stepping up for yourself as you never really did that, always being a shy mouse.

“I'm also not Christian but respect your beliefs and joined in your pray. So it would only be fair if you respected my eating habits- Or what I should rather call eating disorder because I am in fact deathly allergic to meat”

Pascale scoffed as if she was offended by your statement.

“That's an absurd-“

“Mom can we talk? “

Charles cut in, pointing his head towards the kitchen as he stood up. The woman rolled her eyes and followed after her son.

“Who the hell did you brought!? A vegetarian. Not a Christian. Tell me she's also a man! Or maybe she is a widow, huh? Oh Charlie, Charlie... You could do way better... “

Pascale grabbed Charles’ arms and was about to shook him when he shrugged her hands off and took a step back.

“Don't. Don't touch me. I told you she's a vegetarian. I told you so many times but of course you didn't listen. Why do you have such a problem!? You don't even know her yet! You always told me you'll respect whoever I bring home, even a man, yet you deny your words now!”

“I just want the best for my little boy... “

“I'm not your little boy anymore! I'm a grown ass man and I'll date whoever I want. Either you like them or not. So deal with it! “

Charles hissed before leaving the kitchen and joining you back in the dining room. He huffed angrily, flopping down beside you and continuing to eat without a word. An uncomfortable silence fell since he left that lasted until the end of the meal.

You felt responsible for ruining the moods of Leclerc's, especially their mother, but what else were you supposed to do? You couldn’t let anyone disrespect you like that and laugh into your face for your beliefs. After the dinner you locked yourself up in Charles' room.

“Well... That went great... “

You sighed flopping down onto his bed and whining loudly.

“Yeah... Amazing... “

The Monegasque nodded sitting down beside you.

“I'm sorry... I should have said I'm just not hungry. Maybe she would’ve let it go earlier then”

You said turning to your side and looking up at him. Smiling down at you, he brushed your hair away from your face and gazed a little too long before responding.

“It's okay... She would have to find out sooner or later... I'm sorry too. Didn’t expect she would be so possessive already... “

Charles layed down and turned his head to you, his hand grabbing yours and squeezing it gently. If he knew his mother would be THAT critical he wouldn’t have taken you with him. He cared for you too much to want to see you hurt, but his mom was too impossible to foresee even for him to predict that. He just wished that after that week you would still like to be friends with him... Maybe even more if the situation settles down and everyone calms down.

“Go take a shower and relax a little... I'll go find some mattress and set everything up... It'll be better for you to stay here. We don’t want another fight do we? “

You chuckled a little shaking your head and got up. Although you still preffered to sleep in another room, you didn’t want another quarrel with Pascale.

“This is gonna be an interesting week... “

You said before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving Charles alone with his thoughts. How was he going to convince his family and friends to like you, when the head of his family already hated you? He had no idea but had to come up with something soon, or else the Christmas would be ruined.

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Next day an excited and loud array of voices woke you up. You grumbled turning your back to the door and looking down at the floor where Charles previously slept. The mattress he layed on now cold with sheets neatly displayed on top, which meant he must have left quite a long time ago. You got up hearing the man in question call you and rubbed your eyes softly while leaving the room. Stumbling down the stairs your eyes felt heavy and with one too long blink you found yourself falling down, someone catching you quickly before you hit the floor.

“Are you okay?”

A male voice said, hot breath fanning your face and a smell of fresh mint, cedarwood and cinnamon hit your nostrils. When you opened your eyes you noticed it wasn’t Charles who caught you, the Monegasque standing beside you and the stranger holding your arm firmly.

“I-I’m okay... I just woke up and uh... I-I'm sorry...”

You mumbled pulling away from the handsome man that held you, now able to take a better look at him. He was almost as tall as Charles, had blue hipnotizing eyes, full pink lips and a gorgeous smile.

“Y/N this is Pierre, another friend of the family”

Charles introduced you to one another as you shook your hands. You had to admit the man was really handsome, even more than your ‘boyfriend’, making your eyes unable to tear away from him. Pierre smirked noticing you stare at which you blushed softly and looked away sheepishly. If he had to be honest, if not Charles he would’ve try to pick you up right there and then. You were a really beautiful gal, your ginger hair looked so smooth the only thing he wanted was to play with them the whole day, your green eyes shined like if you had stars in them and the soft freckles across your face complimented them so well.

“Look who woke up... Our sleeping beauty...”

Pascale scoffed seeing the three of you walk into the kitchen.

“Welcome Pierre”

She cooed giving the man a tight hug and a kiss to his cheek. You figured he was like a son to her, actually her favourite child as you later found out.

“Long time no see ma. How have you been? You happy with Charlie’s new girlfriend?”

He teased looking at you at which you just rolled your eyes pouring yourself a cup of warm coffee and ignoring the older woman’s response.

“Oh her? Please... He could’ve done waaay better!”

“What, why? Y/N’s a really beautiful girl and I bet she’s smart too”

The French tried to defend you but it was useless.

“She’s vegetarian. Says she’s deathly allergic to meat but I feel like that’s just a lie... And she’s not Christian. Sooner or later she’ll make my little boy convert!”

She whispered to Pierre, loud enough for you to hear.

“That’s it? Oh good thing she’s not a man!”

He joked with a loud laugh before stepping away and joining everyone by the table. You enjoyed your dark liquid sitting by Charles, his arm wrapped around your waist squeezing it from time to time as he conversed with his siblings, Carlos and Pierre. You observed the group carefully, sometimes looking at Pascale.

From what you’ve caught Carlos and Rebecca seemed the most unproblematic, which didn’t mean they didn’t talk about you behind your back, Lorenzo was the quiet one, not really joining in the conversation prefering to read his book and eat in peace, while Pierre, Charles and Arthur were the triplets of chaos with Carla and Pascale being their tamers.

You didn’t fit in with that family at all, always feeling their judging stares on yourself especially with Charles glued to your side. But there was one gaze except of his that felt different. Pierre didn’t judge your every step, his eyes were full of either admiration or sympathy whenever you looked at him, always ready to help if you needed it.

Leclerc also noticed his best friend’s weird interest in you but as much as you didn’t care he did. He felt jealous seeing him watch you with heartful eyes, touch you whenever he had a chance, constantly talk to you, and you only knew each other for a day! Charles’ gut wrenched at those moments, wanting to tear the man apart.

But why did he care so much? You were just friends after all. But he didn’t consider you just a friend. You were more, his whole world, a person he couldn’t live without. He knew that since you’ve met, trying to find a perfect moment to confess his feelings, wanting to do this on Christmas Eve.

That was also another reason why he asked you to pretend his girlfriend in front of his family. But with Pierre on his way... It would be hard. Especially if you felt too comfortable with the French man and told him the truth, then he wouldn’t hold back anymore and wrap you around his finger immediately and Charles couldn’t let that happen.

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After yet another unpleasant dinner you left to pick a Christmas tree and finish up buying presents. It was a little tradition of Leclerc’s to pick the tree all together and you felt glad they wanted you to join them, at least Charles and Pierre did. You strode through the main square holding Charles’ hand and admiring the Christmas market.

Pierre walked by your other side, getting envious every time the Monegasque pressed a kiss to either part of your body or pulled you slightly away from him. He wished he could be the one to bring you to that beautiful place on a date, to have you all for himself, for you to be his... But you weren’t and instead Pierre had to pretend he was happy for you and his best friend and it was really hard at times.

“Come on kids! Faster! The queue is already forming!”

Pascale shouted from a few meters away as she turned around and saw your group getting distracted by the various stalls.

“Queue for what?”

You’ve asked the boys, confusion clearly painted on your face.

“Santa”

They responded in unison rushing you over to the rest.

“Santa? Aren’t you too old?”

“Naaah. We’re gonna get a family picture with him. It’s another of our traditions”

Pierre cleared out with a huge smile. As you waited the two men told you about and showed you every picture from previous years, making fun of little Arthur always crying sitting on Santa’s lap.

Tears slowly started to fill your eyes at the cute stories, but you’ve managed to blink them away quickly so neither men noticed them. You wished you could’ve had such a childhood, full of fun, family and love but you guessed it wasn’t meant to be. At least now you could have some fun, even though the majority of the family hated you.

When your turn came you positioned yourself freely, you stood on the right in front of the boys almost right next to Santa, but Pascale felt like something was wrong and started to rearrange everyone. Eventually Carlos, Rebecca and Lorenzo landed on the left, Arthur and Carla sat on the old man’s laps – just as always, she took your place in front of her two favourites and you stood next to Charles almost getting cut out of the picture.

Nonetheless the photo came out great and you were happy you received one of the copies. After meeting Santa you went to pick the tree and then everyone scattered to buy presents. Charles left with Pierre, the Spaniard with his girlfriend, Pascale with the youngest and you were left with Lorenzo.

“So uh... I-I guess we’re the only ones left...”

You muttered and the man nodded. You stood in the middle of the square in complete silence until he spoke up.

“Listen uh... I asked Charlie to leave us cause I wanted to talk with you. I hope you’re not mad...”

Lorenzo looked down and started to play with his finger nervously. You started to think of all the things he could want to talk with you about but what you were about to hear shocked you.

“Oh um... As long as you won’t offend me like the rest of your family does I won’t”

“I won’t. I promise. But- Can we go to a café?”

You agreed with a quiet sigh then followed the man. He brough you to a simple but full of Christmas atmosphere café and after you ordered some mulled wine and cookies he started.

“I wanted to talk about Charles...”

“What about him?”

The man hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling it.

“I’ve talked with him about you... I wanted to know what plans he has for the future and if he sees you there with him. He said he loves you so much that he would try his best to persuade mom to give him our grandma’s engagement ring after the holidays... I shouldn’t tell you this but I just need to know... Do you want to have a future with Charles or are you, what Arthur calls you, just a bimbo falling for his money?...”

Your face went pale at the information. You hoped Charles said it just for your skit to be more convincing but the way Lorenzo said it, all serious and without any emotions on his face, started to worry you. Trying to gather your thoughts your eyes closed and palms turned into tight fists, something you always did when thinking hard.

“Hey relax... I-It's just a question... I didn’t mean to stress you out...”

The oldest Leclerc grabbed your hands and rubbed his thumbs along them. It actually helped you relax and think of a suitable answer.

“I don’t get me wrong... I love your brother with my whole hear. I really do. But I can’t tell you if I’d say yes to his proposal. I usually don’t think about the future, just living in the moment y’know?”

Lorenzo nodded understandingly. It seemed like you’ve managed to convince him it was true, but started to feel bad for constantly lying to them, especially since Lori seemed like a really nice guy. You’ve chatted for some time when eventually he apologized for his actions.

“I also wanted to apologise for my behavior... I usually don’t act like that but as you might have noticed out mother's influence is too heavy. Nonetheless I know I did wrong offending you like the others and I'm sorry once again. Seeing my brother so happy while with you made me understand that he actually loves you and that you aren’t as bad as mom is painting you... I hope you'll be able to forgive me one day... “

You smiled softly at the man and his genuine apology. You were really glad that at least one of them apologized to you and couldn’t be mad at him.

“It's okay I forgive you”

While you conversed, Pierre and Charles run around the square looking for a perfect gift for you.

“Oh man... Couldn’t you buy something in Monaco?!”

The Frenchman sighed as they entered yet another store. This time it was a jeweler full of gorgeous sets and classy watches.

“You know well I had no time. Besides, I don’t even know what she likes. I specifically insisted on entering the market from this alley so I could see if her eyes would shine after she notices something-”

“But they didn’t. How can you not know what she likes!? She’s your girlfriend!”

“I’m not sure, okay? I want it to be something unique”

Pierre nodded and soon they started to look for something that would match your vibe. Finally the Frenchman chose a gentle, soft pink butterfly set he noticed you look at as you passed the store, later surprised Charles didn’t notice it too, while the Monegasque opted for something more bold – a silver necklace with an emerald and matching earrings. Now they just had to choose which one Charles was going to buy.

“The green matches her eyes and hair”

“But it’s too heavy for her. The butterflies perfectly match her gentle aura”

“But they’re so small and light you wouldn’t see them on her fair skin...”

Eventually Charles bought what he choose himself. Little did he know that the next day Pierre came back to buy you the set he picked. He was a 100% sure you would like his present way more than Charles’.

Was it weird he bought such an expensive gift for his best friend’s girlfriend? Maybe, but he couldn’t care less. It was the only way for him to please you. He also bought a bottle of vanilla latte perfumes as the smell reminded him of you.

If he could, he would’ve showered you in presents, luxurious gowns from the most expensive boutiques of the world, crown jewels, multiple cars... But you weren’t his, not yet.

The man felt the weird dynamic between you and Charles, it seemed like he was the only one who noticed it. Maybe you two were acting like the sweetest couple ever, madly in love with each other, but you weren’t going to fool him.

He noticed how awkward you could be whenever Charles kissed you and you never kissed on the lips, he was also the only one giving kisses, your lips never touched any part of his skin. Neither did you remember some of the most important things about the Monegasque even though he had no problem remembering yours. Pierre knew there was something going on and he was about to find out soon.

When the boys found you and Lorenzo the four of you met up with the rest in one of the main square's restaurant. You expected something expensive and exclusive as Charles usually insisted on eating out in such restaurants but walking into the premise, a warm, family atmosphere hit you.

You actually enjoyed this little change and the comfortable place itself. You took a place by a long table, Pascale and Charles on either end like the heads of the family, even though it was Lorenzo who was the oldest brother. Through time you've noticed that the quietest Leclerc was often ignored or left out, so you weren’t surprised when Charles took what should’ve been Lori's place.

While you awaited your meals, a little boy around 4 years old run up to your table with a basket of cutlery and a piece of paper with a pen on top. He handed the basket to Charles then pointed at the paper and pen. The man chuckled and signed the paper then gave it to the boy after ruffling his hair. You smiled brightly at their little encounter. When the boy was about to run away a waitress, probably his mother, stopped him and turned him around.

“Honey what do we say? “

They made their way back to your table and the little boy quickly thanked Charles before running off.

“I'm sorry, he's a little shy”

The woman explained bringing your group the food you ordered. She was tall and beautiful, had long blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, seemed around your age and clearly caught Charles' eye. It wasn’t like he immediately fell in lover with her, but he did find her attractive. She was a perfect match for him in Pascale’s eyes and she couldn’t care less that she had a kid already.

Throughout the whole dinner Pascale talked the young woman and her son up, inviting them to eat with you which the blonde had to deny due to her being at work but let her little boy join you. Soon Leo opened up and turned out to be a bubble of joy. He sat on Charles' lap eventually moving to yours when Leclerc had to use the bathroom. That’s when Pascale asked.

“So Y/N. Are you thinking of having kids with Charles? “

You choked on your drink hearing the question. Putting the glass away you coughed a little before responding.

“Well uh... I-I don't want to have kids... I'm not really a fan of them... And I'm sure pregnancy is a beautiful thing but it just scares me too much... “

The blonde laughed. She always laughed into your face when you talked about your beliefs and you slowly couldn’t stand it.

“Oh you're funny. Charles wants to have a lot of kids so it's not like you have a choice. You'll change your mind when he gets you pregnant “

“I'm sure you would love that”

You mumbled under your nose sarcastically knowing well she'd rather die than let her son have kids with you.

“It's her body and her choice mom. If she doesn’t want to have kids I'm not gonna maker her”

Charles said as he overheard a bit of your conversation. His hand squeezed your arm reassuringly. He would never make you do something you didn’t want to.

“Then you should change her for a new model! I want to have grandkids! Leo's mom is a really nice woman. Perfect for you and already has a kid so it wouldn’t be a problem for her to have more “

“Mom”

Charles sighed heavily rubbing his forehead, his hand moving to your lap and soothing it. He felt how tense and angry you were even though you didn’t show it.

“What? I'm just saying the truth-“

“You're just ruining the atmosphere. Y/N is a perfect girl for our Charlie and you should not care if she's a vegetarian, an atheist, a red head, doesn’t want to have kids, etc. etc. What matters is that she loves him and he feels happy with her”

Lorenzo stepped in getting annoyed by his mother. He had enough of her critical opinions about you as you really weren’t that bad.

“And you, Brutus, against me? “

Pascale gasped at her oldest talking back for the first time.

“Yes. I have enough of you talking bad about Y/N. We all have, as it is the only topic you seem to care about. It’s Christmas we should act like a normal, happy family we are and be glad that Charles joined us at all and not criticize his girlfriend”

“Lori's right... You went too far... “

Pierre added quietly. The rest of the dinner Pascale was quiet. She felt sad after her kids words but didn’t feel bad after hers.

Back at home the boys apologized for being so harsh and made up with their mother, but it wasn’t like she was going to be nicer to you.

“I'm sorry for today... “

Charles mumbled handing you a cup of hot cocoa with some vodka and joining you on the couch. You snuggled next to him and thanked for the liquid, then said after taking a sip.

“It's okay I understand it... She would never like me... Good think it's going to end soon... “

You whispered the last sentence loud enough for only Charles to hear, even though you were the only ones awake. Or so you thought. Leclerc wasn’t the only one that heard you. A few seconds earlier Pierre made his way down stairs to have some water and he overheard your short conversation. At first his heart ached as he noticed you two on the couch, getting jealous it wasn’t him instead of Charles, but then the knot loosened after what you've said.

“It's going to end soon”

He started to slowly connect the dots which were a good omen for him. On the other hand, Charles felt sad. He didn’t want this to end, never. The man hoped that he'd manage to make you fall in love with him in those 2 days, although you didn’t seem to change your thoughts about him yet. He had to try harder. That night you fell asleep in his arms, he took you to your shared room and layed with you on the bed. He was shocked but at the same time glad that you didn’t wake up and make him sleep on the floor.

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Waking up to finding yourself on top of Charles wasn’t the best experience. You didn’t remember much from the previous night and started to worry that something happened between you two.

For the rest of the day you tried to ignore him as best as you could, which made Pascale happy. She hoped that after your previous day's conversation, you had a talk or maybe even a quarrel with her son that slowly led to your breakup. It was difficult though. It was the Christmas Eve after all and everyone had some chores to do, sometimes landing you with him to do something or just constantly passing him by.

You didn’t intend on blowing up by the Christmas table but this time Pascale started to offend your family. A family that died in a car accident when you were little, the view of firefighters putting out the burning crashed car as you sat int the ambulance and watched everything engraved in your brain, hunting you almost each night. That was another reason why you agreed to Charles’ request. You wanted to finally spend Christmas with a family in a pleasant atmosphere. But it wasn’t given to you...

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! “

You shot up from your place and shouted on top of your lungs at the blonde.

“IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE SUCH AN ALIEN! “

“I'M AN ALIEN?! LOOK AT YOURSELF! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A BITCH! ALL OF YOU DO! I REGRET AGREEING TO EVEN COME HERE! NOT MENTIONING SPENDING ALMOST THE WHOLE WEEK WITH YOU! FUCK IT I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW. I PREFER TO SPEND THE CHRISTMAS ALONE THAN WITH YOU! “

“GREAT! LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK YOU SLUT! “

You left the dining room in tears, quickly put on your coat and run out of the house. Pierre rushed after you while Charles and Lorenzo started to fight with their mother.

Pierre hopped into his car and quickly drove up to you. He softly honked at you a few times while calling your name.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

You shouted after stopping, mascara mixed with tears falling down your cheeks, hair disheveled and body trembling as you wore only your thigh length, red, sequin dress under the coat.

“Come in, please... You're freezing... “

After a few minutes of convincing, you got into the car and Pierre drove away.

“Where are you taking me?... “

You asked quietly, from time to time sniffling.

“Somewhere we can chill out in”

He explained squeezing your covered thigh. After you entered the vehicle he immediately took off his jacket and put it on your legs then planted his palm on your limb to assure you everything was going to be alright. Pierre parked his car in front of a bar then helped you out and inside. You ordered some drinks and filled one of the booths before chugging one after another. That's what you needed, to get drunk and forget about everything.

“Your family is hell... How do you even stand them!? “

You mumbled out with a hiccup. Your head was propped on your hand with the elbow on the table, you looked terrible, a wreck of a woman, but to Pierre you've looked more beautiful than ever. He was more than happy to have this little moment with you, even if it was supposed to end soon with you passing out. A thing he didn’t knew was that you had a really strong head and you were just a little tipsy after 3 drinks and 2 beers.

“I don’t know either... They're usually not that bad... I don’t know what happened this time”

“I happened. You can’t deny it... They just hate me for nothing and I can’t stand it anymore! “

Your free hand hit the table almost spilling your 3rd beer.

“Yeah I've noticed”

The man chuckled while you huffed unamused, your brows furrowing.

“It's funny to you? “

You hissed at which he shook his head.

“Maybe a little... “

Pierre admitted making you hit his head with a beer cap. He laughed once again this time getting one out of you too. Soon you got really comfortable with him and did what Charles feared the most.

“You know... There's something I want to tell you... “

“I'm listening”

“I'm... I'm not actually Charles’ girlfriend... We're just best friends and he asked me to come with him so you would stop asking him about a second half... Guess that didn’t turn out as he wished it would... “

You sighed melting into the couch. The man was silent for a while before he stood up and sat next to you.

“Then... You won’t be mad if I do this?... “

Looking up at him confused you felt his palm capture your chin and his finger brush along your bottom lip while gazing lovingly and deeply into your eyes. Before you could say something he connected your lips in a soft kiss, giving you time to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead straddling his lap and deepening the kiss. It might have been because of the alcohol, or just because of your mutual attraction that you soon found yourself naked in the back of his car, getting marked and taken great care of. It felt bad but oh so good... By midnight you came back home and continued your sinful ministrations in his bedroom.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Waking up on the first day of Christmas by his side you finally felt like you belonged there, belonged to the family, belonged to him. You weren’t scared, weirded out nor uncomfortable, not like with Charles. You felt as if Pierre was the one thing that was missing in your life.

“Morning... “

Soon you could hear him mumble. You looked up with a soft smile and placed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Will you drive me back home?... I'm not sure I'll be able to look Charles in the eyes after yesterday... “

You sighed resting your chin on top of his chest and played with it's hair. Pierre raised his eyebrow at you, a slightly sad expression forming on his face.

“You didn’t... Enjoy it?”

He whispered at which you shook your head.

“No, no. I enjoyed it, I really did but... I don’t know... It felt a bit wrong... “

You looked away with a sigh thinking of Charles’ reaction if he found out what you two were up to the previous night. He would've been furious with both of you most probably starting a fight and setting the house on fire and neither of you would like that.

“Stay... Just for the breakfast... And I'll drive you home in the afternoon. You still have presents to give us don’t you? “

Pierre started to rub your back and draw patterns on it, trying to calm you down and make relaxed once again.

“I'm sure you wouldn’t like them... Besides Charles can give them to you-”

“But I want to receive it from you. Not from Charles. Not from Lorenzo. From you. Please... Stay... For me... “

Looking into his eyes you saw the sparkles and hearts once again, your heart melting at the sight. You exhaled and agreed reluctantly. That family was going to be the end of you... You were about to get up and start getting dressed when Lorenzo knocked on the door and walked in right after.

“Pierre where's Y/N-“

You hid your bare chest from his view and pulled away from Pierre but was unable to say anything when Lorenzo quickly left and shut the door.

“Fuck. We're fucked. Oh my god that was a bad idea”

You rumbled while getting dressed in the speed of light. When you shot out of Gasly's room you bumped into Leclerc, patiently waiting for you to leave.

“Lori I-“

“Shhh... It's not your fault. You let him fool yourself, but it’s no wonder considering the situation you’re in. I don’t blame you and won’t tell anyone. Now, go make yourself presentable. We don’t want mom to see you like this do we? “

The man placed a kiss on top of your head before rushing you away. You were really confused with his reaction but glad as fuck that he didn’t immediately run to Charles to tell him. After you walked away, Lorenzo stormed into Pierre's room.

“WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! “

Lorenzo tried to throw a punch straight to Gasly's face but due to being way weaker, the Frenchman easily stopped him pinning him down on the bed.

“Calm down and shut up”

He hissed before releasing Leclerc.

“Are you crazy?! She's Charlie’s girlfriend! He's your bestfriend! Your family! “

Pierre rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He knew well that what you did was wrong but he didn’t feel bad. Quite the contrary. He felt like on cloud 9 after spending the night with you. Not only because you had sex but because you could finally be alone. Just the two of you. No Pascale. No Charles. Just Y/N and Pierre.

In meanwhile you passed Pascale on the corridor. Of course she wasn’t happy to see you in the morning, but thankfully didn’t pay attention to your tired and disheveled state. Neither did the woman notice you leave Pierre’s room earlier.

“What are you still doing here? “

Turning around on your heel you took a deep breath and started.

“I decided to stay until tomorrow morning. Just for Charles. And I sincerely apologize for my yesterdays manners. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that but your own actions aren’t the best either. I’m sorry once again “

The woman looked you up and down in complete silence before walking away without a word. The only thing she could admit she liked about you was that you were able to apologize and admit your mistakes, not like herself.

“Where were you?”

Charles asked as you quietly entered your shared room, hoping you wouldn’t wake him up but he was up all night.

“I’ve tried to reach you and Pierre the whole night. Where. Were. You. “

The man got up from the bed and slowly walked up to you, caging you between the door and himself.

“Pierre took me to a bar... We’ve spent there the whole night and came back like 2 hours ago... “

You gulped looking up at the man. Good thing you went to the bathroom and corrected your appearance before going in there or you would've been in way more trouble. Charles sighed, his hands capturing yours and squeezing them gently.

“I was looking for you everywhere... You don’t even know how worried I was... I know you were angry but you could’ve at least let me know you’re alright... Or make Pierre call me... “

One of his hands brushed your cheek as his eyes averted between yours and your pink lips. Charles wanted to kiss you so bad but figured you could be still mad and decided otherwise. Plus he was still furious at Pierre taking you somewhere without his knowledge, and if you blew up he would blow up too. Then knowing your both’s tempers the whole house would be on fire with Pascale and Arthur constantly adding gasoline.

“I know... I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to worry you, it’s just that... I couldn’t stand it anymore... I want to go home...”

A single tear fell down your cheek which Charles quickly kissed away. He hated to see you in that state, but what he hated even more was that he was the one who caused it. If he hadn’t asked you for that favor, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He was a shitty bestfriend.

“I love her okay? I just... I just can’t help it... “

Pierre blurted out making Lorenzo shut up and look at him in disbelief. He couldn’t believe in the Frenchman.

“You- WHAT?! “

The Monegasque threw himself at Pierre, a fight unraveling between the two, destroying almost the whole room before they flew out of it through the door, landing on the floor with a loud thump. The noise caught everyone’s attention, saving you from the too uncomfortable conversation with Charles.

“Oh my god boys!”

Pascale tried to push them away from each other before getting shooed over by Carlos and Arthur, so she wouldn’t accidentally get hurt, who stopped the fight. Lorenzo wriggled in his younger brother’s arms angrily, blood running down his nose while Pierre already calmed down a little and touched his black eye gently.

“What have you done!?”

Pascale shouted at you with anger in her eyes. Sure the fight was about you but it’s not like you caused it... Maybe not entirely but still.

“Why do you already accuse me?! I wasn’t even there! I was with Charles!”

The middle Leclerc nodded confirmingly while his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close in a protective manner. Pierre wanted to vomit at the sight, blood boiled in his vains and he was ready to start another fight this time with Charles but knew better than that. The man just wanted the Christmas to be over so he could finally take you out somewhere and spend some time with you in a normal, nice atmosphere. Without Charles, without Lorenzo, without his family. Just you and him. Together.

“But I’m sure it’s your fault! My boys aren’t my boys anymore since you’ve showed up here! You’ve ruined them! “

You were ready to throw a punch at her and you would’ve done that if not her whole family watching you. Instead you just kept rushing Lorenzo to the bathroom to help him with his nose and talk about the fight.

“I did not expect this from you...”

You huffed angrily, sitting him down on a stool in front of you.

“This is a house of fucking madmen...”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry... But when Pierre disrespected my little brother like that I just couldn’t hold it in anymore...”

The man sighed looking up at you with those big, brown puppy eyes of his. You softly shook your head before proceeding to wipe the blood away from underneath his nose.

“I think... I need to tell you something. You just... Need to stay calm okay?”

“I don’t like where this is going...”

“I know you love your brother with your whole heart and think I’m the best lady he could have but... This is all a lie... We’re not together... We’re just best friends... He asked me to join you because he had enough of constant questions about the other half and hoped bringing me with himself would solve it... But it didn’t. Instead making even more chaos...”

You said on one breath then watched Lori’s face for any signs of his reaction. The man was quiet for a longer time before finally speaking.

“Oh... That's... That’s a pity... And... And I started to get so happy you would be my sister in law... I’m sorry that’s- that’s just stupid”

The Monegasque stood up and was about to leave when you grabbed his shoulders and sat him back down. You embraced him in a warm hug and gave a gentle kiss to his head.

“I may not be your sister in law but you can always count on me. No matter what. You’re like a brother I’ve never had, Lori”

“Stop it or I’m gonna cry...”

He hid his face in the crook of your neck while hugging you back. He felt sad that you and Charles weren’t actually together and was sorry for his brother due to his apparent attraction to you and your obliviousness.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

“This morning started just incredibly...”

Pascale sighed as she sat down in her armchair in the living room. The whole group already after breakfast now waiting for Lorenzo, who was still with you, to join them so they could unpack their presents. The atmosphere was dense, you could cut it with a knife, yet you still decided to give them your presents first to have it over already. You walked down the stairs with Lorenzo, both holding a few bags, then entered the quiet living room. Taking a deep breath you started your monologue while the Monegasque handed out your gifts.

“I know you have enough of me already, so you can do whatever you want with those. Sell them. Throw them away. Heck even burn them! I don’t care. I just wanted to say sorry that I ruined your Christmas and hopefully next year everything would be way better. Without me of course. Coming here I was hoping for an enjoyable, family Christmas – one that I haven’t had since I was five, when my parents died. But it turned out how it turned out and honestly... In contrast to what I’ve said yesterday – I don’t regret joining you. I am just crazy and this was fun. You can open those now”

With that said you let them open the gifts. Each one of them received a different, knitted by you, Christmas sweater. You once saw a really old family photo at Charles’, one where his father was still alive and Arthur was just a little baby. Everyone was dressed in sweaters like those, with huge smiles on their faces and you hoped to recreate that moment before you came there.

You’ve tried your best to freshen out their designs while keeping the overall vibe of each piece, spending a lot of time on making them without Charles’ knowledge. Now you couldn’t care less.

But seeing their reactions, especially Pascale’s, made your heart break in half. The older woman started to cry, the rest following after. Some just sniffling like Pierre or Charles, too manly to show any emotions. Some cried their eyes out like Arthur and the older woman, which shocked you a lot. You looked confused between them before Carlos spoke up.

“Herve used to make such sweaters for us every Christmas... Then took million photos of us wearing them, proud of his opus... We haven’t worn such sweaters for Christmas every since his death... Thank you Y/N... It’s the best gif we could’ve ever receive”

The man got up hugging you tightly, Rebecca and Lorenzo following shortly after.

“It even looks like my first one...”

Arthur blurted out, almost choking on his tears as he looked down at the piece then back at you.

“Thank you...”

“I... I had no idea...”

You mumbled out. Your heart melted at the view and you were more than pleased that they loved them.

“I’m sorry...”

Soon you heard Pascale whisper through tears. You smiled softly and crouched down in front of her embracing her in a warm hug. The woman didn’t say anything instead hiding her face in your shoulder. You held her like that for a longer time, not saying a word not wanting to startle her, as the whole family watched with huge smiles. When she pulled away you wiped her tears away and helped her put on the sweater.

“It’s beautiful... Thank you...”

The older woman said quietly, while looking down. She was too ashamed to look into your eyes. After receiving your gift she finally understood that you tried your best to fit into their family, not trying to impose your views on them which she accused you of.

She understood her behaviour towards you was horrible and undeserved as you didn’t do anything bad to her nor her son. Quite the contrary. You seemed to make Charles even more happier than he was.

The death of her husband and constant thought of loosing her children too changed her so much she didn’t even realise she started to be toxic. And it wasn’t only to you. Earlier she was critical of every previous girlfriend that any of her sons brought home, but she was just terrible to you and nothing could justify her doings. But your heart was too big to not forgive her after her apology. You felt it was sincere and even shed a tear before hugging her once again.

After you had your little moment with Pascale, Charles got up and announced.

“Well... I guess I should say sorry too. To all of you. For lying straight into your faces... We’re actually not together with Y/N. I just wanted you to fuck off from my love life, that’s why I brought her... I’m sorry once again... “

The whole family forgave him immediately, actually being a little sad it all was a lie as they saw the fire in Charles’ eyes whenever he looked at you.

“Tell her...”

Lorenzo tried to persuade his younger brother quietly, earning a confused look from you and Pascale.

“Tell me what?”

You asked soon, too impatient to wait. You watched the man make his way over to you and sit down beside you on the floor. He captured your hands in his and gave each a sweet kiss before confessing his love.

“I love you Y/N L/N. I always did... Since we’ve met I knew you were the one for me... I can’t live without you. Without your smile. Without your laugh. Those beautiful green eyes... I just- Will you be my girlfirend? This time for real?...”

Feeling uneasy with what you’ve just heard and all the eyes watching you, you looked at Pierre hoping he’d help you. He was hurt and scared you would say yes, making your eyes water.

“No you can’t- You can’t be in love with me... That’s a joke right? Please tell me it’s a joke”

Shaking your head you felt tears spill down your cheeks and an awkward chuckle escaped your lips. It was all too much for one day.

“It’s not like I haven’t been humiliated enough...”

You stood up from your place and was about to leave when Charles caught your hand and stopped you.

“Y/N I’m serious”

“Serious!? Nothing in this house- this family, is serious! You all hate me for stupidest things ever and you dare to say you’re serious!?”

You hissed, emotions steering inside of you, slowly spilling out.

“We don’t hate you...”

Arthur said but you knew better.

“OH REALLY?! And you of all people say that. Y/N this... Y/N that... A bimbo. A heathen. A leafhead! That’s what you all think of me... You think I’m not good enough for your Lord Perceval... And I don’t want to be! I’m an alien who ruined your Christmas and then slept with Pierre!”

You shouted out without realising what you’ve just said.

“What?”

Charles confused question made you comprehend your words and cover your mouth with your hands in shock. The room felt silent, only the faint sound of clock ticking could be heard until the middle Leclerc launched himself at Gasly.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

“Not again!”

Pierre shouted as they dropped out the door, this time the front ones, onto the cold and wet snow. The other men tried to get them away from one another, each failing getting hurt in proces.

“You motherfucker how could you! You’re my best friend and you fucked the girl you knew well I love!”

Soon Leclerc straddled Pierre, palms tightly wrapped around his neck trying to choke him. You’ve never seen Charles so mad, which only confirmed his words that he indeed loved you. Otherwise he wouldn’t try to kill his bestie. Finally, after the 7 of you managed to pull them away you wanted to sink into the ground and die.

“You hate me now, don’t you?”

You asked quietly, entering the room you previously shared with Charles. The Monegasque sat on the bed and gazed at something way before you came there, not moving an inch even after you sat down next to him.

“I'm sorry-“

“I should’ve told you a long time ago... “

“But it my answer would've been no different... I love you Charles, but as a brother and nothing will change that. I'm sorry... “

The man layed down and placed his head on your legs as you started to play with his hair. You've talked for a long time eventually understanding each other's feelings and that nothing would come out of it.

With time and your help, Charles has managed to move on from you. Exactly a year later, you met at the same house once again, this time in a slightly changed composition.

Charles burst in with Leo in his arms and Kate following shortly after. They greeted everyone before finally walking up to you and Pierre.

“We have a little surprise... “

You bit your lip out of excitement while Pierre lifted up his last year's sweater from tour belly revealing a baby bump.

“We think of naming him Perceval”

The Frenchman teased as Leclerc gazed at you in disbelief and excitement.

“Oh you have to call him Charles or Charlie. You owe me that! “

He joked with a loud chuckled, secretly hoping you actually would do that.

"I thought you didn't want to have kids"

Kate asked. You gazed up at Pierre with a loving look them averted your eyes back to Charles and his new girlfriend.

"I think I'm ready"

You never thought that agreeing to help your best friend would change your life 360 degrees. Yet there you were, just a year later, finally accepted in the family, carrying it's another member. You couldn’t have wished for better holidays...

[its-time-to-write]

kicking myself to keep from crying

Once again, huge shoutout to @whimsical-roasting! This is pt. 2 to your mind is not your friend and although it kind of works as a standalone, maybe read that first. Like before, I def used entire chunks of our conversation😅 so really this is her fic. I just filled in some of the gaps. Love u bae!

kicking myself to keep from crying

You wake up feeling weird. There’s soft light streaming through the windows, and something warm half on top of you. You blink away the sleep from your eyes, and realize it’s Jamie. He’s on his stomach, with one arm thrown around your waist and a leg hooked around you. You don’t want to disturb him but you’re a little uncomfortable, so you carefully roll onto your left side. You now have a clear view of his face, features softened by sleep, and you’ve somehow managed to keep your legs intertwined. 

Reaching out with your free hand, you trace a line from his eyebrows down his nose, to his jaw, then his lips. You can’t help yourself, because when will you get the chance to wake up in Jamie Tartt’s bed again? His chest is rising in a steady, comforting beat.

He likes me, you think with a sigh, and the thought is enough to dispel most of the weirdness from the night before.

How did you go from crying over a bad hookup to sleeping in Jamie’s bed? God, you still feel so tired and drained, but not as much as last night. You don’t ever want to get up.

Your hand is resting on Jamie’s neck, and you can feel his heartbeat pulsing; you resist the urge to kiss him but fail, lips on his neck.

Last night was fucking awful, you think. You’re feeling like a car with an empty tank, pushing yourself up the hill to get to Jamie’s house. All you can think about is how physically and emotionally drained you’re still feeling, when you feel Jamie’s breathing change.

He blinks once, twice, then smiles at you.

“Morning, love,” he says, and you feel his rough morning voice doing something to you.

“Afternoon, more like,” you reply in a whisper.

Jamie just smiles, and you return it with a small one. He stretches all his limbs as best he can, unwilling to move his arm from around you. “You sleep ok?” he asks.

You nod.

“You feeling better?

You nod again.

He frowns. “Are you… do you not wanna talk?”

You give a small shrug and sigh. It is not easy to shrug while laying on your side, so you roll onto your back.

“I’m sorry,” you say, unwilling to meet his eyes. “I just… my headspace is going to be kinda fucked for a bit, but I feel better.”

Jamie just nods and pulls you closer (if that’s even possible). He has an unfamiliar ache, one that makes him want to protect you and take away any bad feelings you still have.

You do enjoy the feeling of his body around yours, but of course, it can’t last. You shift out of his grasp and sit up. You notice that you’re still in his hoodie and sweatpants.

For some reason, the realization makes you want to cry.

“Oh, Jamie,” you say, still unable to look at him, “thank you. For, like, everything… especially last night.”

Jamie’s propped up on his elbows now, and looking at you intently. 

“Um, I can be out of your hair,” you continue, staring at your hands in your lap. They look like strangers hands. “I bet you had plans for today.”

Jamie’s frowning again now, and you decide you hate yourself for being the cause.

“What d’you mean?” he asks, and you’re unsure what he means.

You laugh nervously. “What?”

“What are you on about, why would you fucking leave?”

He looks so confused and indignant, but you don’t understand why.

You laugh again. Damn your nerves. “What else would I do? Stay?” The thought seems utterly ridiculous, and all too much like heaven

Jamie’s sitting up now, rolling over in a flurry of sheets to imitate your position. Your heart rate climbs at the feel of his arm pressed against yours. 

Pull yourself together, you scold. Why is a simple touch scrambling your brain when last night’s literal sex felt like you’d had a bucket of ice water dumped on you?

You suppose it has something to do with the person.

“Love,” he says with the urgency usually reserved for someone telling you the building’s on fire, “what would you like me to do? Just tell me, and I’ll fucking do it.”

His raw emotion is throwing you off. You’re not sure how to respond, but your mouth is opening apart from your free will and saying, “I want to stay,” so you catch yourself and follow it up with a hasty, “but only if you want me to! Not out of pity or anything, because I’m ok, truly.”

You think that if you say it out loud (fine, it was a mumble), it will be true. You’re not ok, still thinking about that goddamn pity fuck, and you’re not a pity fuck, and there’s absolutely no way you’re going through those emotions again. Especially not with Jamie.

Jamie, who is closing his eyes, and letting out a deep, annoyed sigh with his jaw clenched.

A flash of fear jolts through your body, as well as the ever-present, ever-painful déjà vu. Jamie’s mad at you, and you start to get up to go.

You’re stopped by his hand on yours.

You look back to see Jamie rub his free hand over his face and mumble, “Oughta kill that prick,” before fully taking in your expression. His entire face softens, and he squeezes your hand once.

You can still feel anxiety coursing through your veins, which Jamie can see in your face. He changes his grip on your hand, and he lifts it to his lips to press a kiss on your inner wrist.

Your brain short-circuits at the pure intimacy of that gesture, something you have never experience and were pretty sure just existed in books and movies, not reality. Certainly not your reality. 

Briefly, you wonder how Jamie got like this. 

You remember hearing stories about how he had been a prick himself, and had tried to reconcile that with the person you knew today. 

You’d seen a bit of it on the pitch during matches, when his eyes would glint and he’d stick his tongue out, right before doing something completely insane and gravity-defying that would cause the entire stadium to erupt in joy.

You knew Roy Kent called him the “prince prick of all pricks,” and that Jamie had definitely deserved that nickname once upon a time.

Still, it’s difficult to imagine that it’s the same Jamie who is sitting in bed with you, eyes looking at you so softly you think you might cry. Again. 

He says, “Love, I meant every word I said last night,” and you can tell he’s trying to make his entire face show how much he means it.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes. “Goddamnit, Jamie,” you whisper, “This is the most I’ve cried in fucking forever. What the fuck?”

Jamie just smiles and wipes away a stray tear with his thumb.

Everything he’s doing is so intentional, with no malice and no ulterior motives. You’ve loved him for ages, so this just feels… it feels like it’s too much. You’re feeling the swirls of good and bad emotions and you don’t know how to sort them, so you just hold his face and fucking breathe because yes you’re crying, but it’s not really out of sadness now, is it?

You say, “About what you said last night…” to which his face drops in anticipation of rejection.

“I really fucking like you too,” you say. “I have for too long and I thought I should’ve gotten over it, hence the shit with that guy, but every time I’d drive home I’d just think about how the way your face lights up when we see each other felt more fucking meaningful than anything that he would do to me. He barely even acknowledged my existence, but you…” you trail off. “You made me feel like the entire sky shone just for me.”

You see Jamie try to school his expression, but he can’t control the wide grin breaking across his face. He puffs out a sigh of relief, or maybe it’s one of the distaste he feels every time you mention that prick. Maybe distaste isn’t the right word. What’s a good word for when you both want to puke and kick the shit out of someone?

Jamie doesn’t dwell on it too long because that shitbag is nowhere near now, you’re right in front of him with those absolutely kissable lips and wearing his clothes with his name on them, and maybe you’d both be alright to stay in bed all day. After all, you still look tired and he thinks maybe you’d sleep better if you were the big spoon this time.

[k-femdove]

Ruin Me | L.TY

pairing :: sub!omega!Taeyong x dom!alpha!reader and slight kun x reader

warnings :: Professor Taeyong, college student reader, taeyong has a pussy bc he's an omega, the reader has a dick, kissing, slight exhibitionism (door is left open), fingering and oral (ty receiving), two orgasms, using a lava lamp as a dildo, feminization (reader calls taeyong a girl), slut shaming, major degradation, taking photos without proper consent, no aftercare (always do aftercare!!), sex for better grades

word count :: 2.8k

synopsis :: After your affair with Kun, Taeyong tries to confront you. It doesn't go quite the way he expected it to.

playlist link here or listen to gaslighting by onlyoneof

For the first time, Professor Lee Taeyong drew a blank. He was an intelligent man with the wisdom and patience of an elder. No matter what people asked him, Taeyong would have a quick answer.

When his close friend and TA Kun showed up to class with a noticeable limp, Taeyong was concerned.

At first, Taeyong brushed it off as a good night. They were unmated adults, so what was the harm in having a little fun?

The more he thought about it, the less likely it got. Kun isn't the type to fool around like that, especially not before work.

A week passed, and Taeyong's concern grew. Although Kun got better at hiding it, Taeyong saw how he winced every time he moved too much. Not only that, but the limp never seemed to go away. Kun isn't big on sex and isn't in heat, either. They'd have to be fucking like rabbits for him to be sore all week.

Strange, huh? Taeyong sighed, shoving a few papers in his bag, and glanced at the clock. Five hours after his last class. Kun had left a little before that to meet you for tutoring. Speaking of which, how was that going?

Taeyong's stuck uncomfortably as he plays a game of never have I ever with a group of friends: Johnny, Kun, Doyoung, Taeil, Ten- you know, the usual.

Personally, Taeyong did find it a little childish. A bunch of thirty-year-olds getting drunk over a game of “Never Have I Ever” sounded stupid.

At first, the questions were innocent. The drunker they got, the more sexual the questions became.

“My turn!” Says Haechan, Taeil’s little brother. He's the only one that's still attending college.

“Never have I ever... Kissed a student?”

Taeyong frowns. What kind of question was that? They’d never-

Ten laughs and pours himself a shot. Right after he drinks it, he pours another and smiles mischievously.

“I think there's someone else that should drink here.” He says and hands it to Kun, whose eyes are wide with disbelief.

Collective gasps fill the room. Taeyong’s jaw drops.

“Wait, whaaaaat?” Johnny said.

“Kun, don't let Ten defame you like that!” Taeyong exclaims, turning to Kun’s flustered face. “You didn’t, right?”

Instead of denying it, Kun sighs in defeat, taking the shot.

“How’d you know?” He asks.

Ten scoffs. “I didn't even think you were trying to hide it! Your obvious limp, attachment to them, and weekly ‘tutoring’ sessions are all dead giveaways. Their place reeks of strawberries.”

Kun buries his head into his hands, mortified. Taeyong looks around, confused as to why everyone was being so casual about this.

“Hold on, who are you guys talking about?” Haechan asks, now wondering if he knows who they're talking about, but Ten waves him off.

The game is forgotten as the night continues, and everyone becomes wasted. Everyone except Taeyong, that is. Most of the others had gone to sleep, and he was stuck with a drunken Haechan.

“Oh, man.” Haechan groaned, stretched out on the couch. “I can't believe I'm spending my weekend with a bunch of old men.”

Taeyong can't even bring himself to be offended. His mind is already on something else.

You and Kun. Kun and you.

Although he was against it, Taeyong wouldn't report something like that yet. You were both adults, so it technically wasn't wrong. The issue was that it was affecting Kun’s performance. He wasn't as diligent in class and spent way too much time by your side. Taeyong was convinced that you were coaxing Kun into it for better grades, and he was about to put a stop to it.

You smiled as you sat in Taeyong’s office. His smile appeared slightly strained.

You took a look around the office. It was a decent size and relatively neat. Bookshelves lined the blank wall and a miniature lava lamp sat on his desk.

“How are things going with Mr. Qian?” Taeyong asked, starting lightly.

“It’s going great,” you respond honestly. “He's a very thorough teacher.”

Taeyong frowns. He's going to get this confession out of you.

“I see that you have a very nice... relationship.”

You hum in response. “I guess you could say that.”

Silence fills the air and you begin to understand what this is about. Your dismissive expression morphs into something serious. Taeyong grows uncomfortable as your gaze pierces him.

He suddenly becomes hyper-aware of your scent, overpowering his own. The omega in him struggles to ignore the faint smell of mandarin oranges and freshly cut wood, deep and arousing.

Taeyong wants to bang his head on the table. Damn him and his stupid omega body. He continues the questions, eager to get this over with.

“I just don't understand why you need to do this. I feel like it’s more beneficial to study.” He confesses.

Your eyes narrow. “Are you accusing me of sleeping my way through your class?”

Taeyong sighs. There isn't a way to sugarcoat it. “I'm not accusing you...”

“Well, rest assured that I and Mr. Qian’s relationship has nothing to do with my grades.” You say, defending yourself.

Taeyong stands and leans over his desk. “I'm sorry, but there is no reason for you to be doing it otherwise.”

You stand too, leaning closer to him. “Why don't you loosen up a bit, Mr. Lee?”

Taeyong takes a step forward, refusing to back down. All of his professionalism goes out the window. “You have everyone falling at your feet. What could you possibly be doing for all this attention?”

You inch closer, looking him in the eyes. If you were thinking logically, you would've sat down and avoided being kicked out of the class.

“I swear.” He continues, glaring at you. “If you even had the chance to try me, I doubt that you’d earn a better grade.”

You scoff, now centimeters away from his face. “And if I win you over?”

It surprises both of you when Taeyong envelops your lips in a kiss. Just as he realizes what he’s done, you pull him closer, kissing him back. Your hand meets his crotch, and he pulls away quickly, eyes wide in disbelief, but the damage is done.

“I can still leave before this becomes something we’ll both regret.” You tell him.

Taeyong hesitates. He was genuinely curious, and he had two hours before his next class. If he let you do what you were about to, it could provide him with valuable information as to why you were so popular. If it was for research, there wasn't a problem, right?

When you're met with no response, you turn away. You open the door a little before a hand grabs your wrist.

His breath catches in his throat for a few moments, as his mind suddenly goes blank. His face is as red as a tomato, and suddenly, it’s a lot harder for him to stay calm and composed. He tugs on your sleeve as he speaks out, his voice shaking, clearly full of nerves.

“Show me what you can do.” He whispers.

That’s all it takes for you to grab him by the waist and crash your lips against his.

Taeyong whimpers as you unbutton his shirt. You pull away from him, breathing heavily. The door is still cracked open, but that can wait. You know that no one was on this floor of the building around this time. All the other teachers and students had classes.

You sit him in a chair before removing his pants and leaving them on the floor.

“Bend over that desk for me.” You say.

He complies eagerly, knocking over a small cup of pencils. His white panties are positively soaked, turning slightly see-through. Biting your lip, you move closer. Taeyong’s brain goes foggy because fuck, this is happening.

You kneel to grab him and inhale his clothed pussy. He releases more of his scent, driving you crazy.

His scent is mostly tart and fruity blackberries, complimented by husky cedar wood and the floral undertone of bay leaves. It's by far the most masculine scent you've smelled from an omega, but that only makes you more aroused.

Taeyong seems to sense your fascination with his scent and mewls when he feels you nudge your nose against his underwear.

“Eager, are we?” You laugh, slowly taking his panties off.

He whines as you pull them down to his ankles before licking his cunt. His taste is somewhat stronger than his scent if that’s even possible. You don't wait before you slip your tongue into his entrance, tasting his walls. A hand reaches up to rub his clit in small circles.

The sensation lights a fire in Taeyong's stomach, sparks coming off of it in little bursts of pleasure. The contrast between your hot tongue and the cold air of the office makes him shudder.

To your surprise, Taeyong is a moaner. He's so absurdly loud that despite there being nobody on this floor, you wouldn't be surprised if someone heard him.

Replacing your tongue with fingers for a moment, you tut.

“Shush, pretty. People are gonna hear you.”

Getting back to work, you continue to please him. Taeyong flushes, quickly covering his mouth with his hands. He desperately tries to silence his noises, the sound music to your ears. In exchange, you delve deeper, savoring every bit of his nectar. A muffled cry escapes him as he cums around your tongue. You lap up all of his juices, not leaving a single drop.

When you pull away, Taeyong pushes his ass out more. He says a few words you can’t understand, but then it clicks.

“More?” You ask, smirking.

You see what he wants, but you can’t fuck him yourself. It takes much longer to stop cumming when you’re buried deep inside a cunt like his- the body knows you’re trying to breed. You can tell that Taeyong knows this as well.

Halting your actions for a brief moment, you ask him a question.

“Do you have any toys around?”

“No, but...” He starts, then pauses.

“But?” You inquire, wondering what he would say.

“The lamp...”

You turn to your left, eyes landing on the lava lamp sitting on his desk, unbothered.

Taeyong starts to burn up, a blush painting his cheeks.

“I knew the prestigious Mr. Lee was just a desperate slut.” You tease, reaching for the pink and orange lamp.

You slide it between his folds, watching the tip grow wetter as Taeyong leaks in anticipation. A soft gasp escapes his lips once more as reality sinks in. Even knowing what's coming, he can't help but blush again.

The gasps turn into moans when you thrust it in without warning. You slowly fuck him with the top, inching closer to the middle with each thrust. Even though your thrusts are slow, Taeyong can feel the stretch.

Eventually, you reach the middle, the widest part of the lamp. You watch as it disappears inside of him, stretching him open.

As soon as he’s a centimeter past that point, you pull out your dick, dripping with precum. You begin to jerk yourself off before harshly thrusting the rest of the lamp into Taeyong, hitting his G-spot.

The only part of the lamp that isn’t in him is the metal base you use to control the lamp, thrusting it into him.

Taeyong whines as you thrust at a snail’s pace, intentionally missing his sweet spot before pulling out until only the tip remained inside him. You watch in amusement as he desperately tries to fuck himself onto the makeshift dildo.

“Aw, poor baby.” You say mockingly. “Stupid slut will fuck anything, won’t she?”

Taeyong whimpers, shaking his head no. Despite his protests, his hips continued to roll against the lamp, desperate for satisfaction.

“You say no, but your body says otherwise.”

You pull out completely. Tears begin to form in Taeyong’s eyes.

“I suppose that’s all sluts like you are good for.” You say, thrusting the lamp into him mercilessly.

He moans, tears falling from both stimulation and shame, his whole body shaking and quivering from the intense sensations that were running throughout his body. He tried his best to hold in the moans, but the most primal and basic of noises escaped him.

“With a body like that, you could seduce anyone.” You continue as Taeyong’s moans grow louder despite his hands. His body and thoughts are both burning hot, endlessly aroused by your actions.

“That’s why you got the job, right? Sleeping with dozens of old men? Whoring yourself out to students and begging them to fuck your omega cunt?”

Taeyong cries out in humiliation. I’m not a whore! He wants to yell, but arousal pools in his stomach, and slick gushes out every time you degrade him.

You lean over the desk, whispering in his ear. “I could leave you in class like this. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Bent over for all your beloved students to breed you until you're full of hundreds of pups like the cocksleeve you are?”

Just like that, Taeyong is clenching around the lamp, thighs pressing together. He swears that he saw stars when his orgasm hit him, stifling a scream. Wave after wave of pleasure washes over, enveloping him in a burning fire of desire. His climax seems to startle him, a most yelling at the sudden and abrupt feeling.

Pulling the lamp out, it doesn’t take long for you to jerk off at the sight. Taeyong’s whimpers paired with his used body push you over the edge, releasing all over his used pussy with a soft moan. Even though you didn’t fuck him, there was still an absurd amount of cum. You pull his panties up a bit before shooting the remaining sperm into the crotch of his underwear.

Taeyong pants heavily, unable to move from his position. You grab your phone from your pocket, taking a video of the ridiculous scene.

His nameplate is visible, placed next to his ass. “Lee Taeyong, Ph.D.,” it says, written in a fancy font.

You caress his smooth legs, making your way up to his hole before zooming in. He whimpers as you lazily finger your release into his cunt, making sure to get it in deep.

The man sucks in a breath as you pull his cum-soaked panties back on him before flipping him over. After snapping a couple more pictures of his disheveled appearance, the phone is discarded on the table.

You hear a peculiar sound, jerking your head to look at the door. Before you can properly look, Taeyong wraps his arms around your neck, gazing at you with glossy eyes.

“Kiss me. Please.” He pleads, leaning into your touch.

You grab his tiny waist, kissing him in a way that felt much more sensual than anything you’d done earlier. More of his tart scent releases, captivating you.

He practically melts, a shiver going down his spine as he tastes himself on your tongue. He’s never been this needy for someone, and he isn't sure it's a good thing.

Taeyong whines when you pull away. Desperate for your attention, he grinds himself against your now-clothed cock. The cum in his underwear presses uncomfortably against his skin.

“Is my little girl still worked up? What a cockslut.” You tease, hand placed on his thigh. “I'd love to stay longer, but your class is in 20 minutes.”

Taeyong groans in response, nearly fucked dumb. You toss him his pants, not sparing him a second glance. His heart hammers in his chest as you leave, the sudden ache in his legs growing more prominent.

It's nearly midnight, but Taeyong is still wide awake. His fingers moved in and out of his soaked pussy, dirty, wet noises filling the room. He bites down on his dirtied panties to stay quiet, the taste of his slick and your bitter cum spreading across his tongue.

Your degrading words and lustful touch play on repeat in his head, pushing him closer to the edge. He picks up the pace, imagining calloused hands on his smooth skin. The hands groped him all over, treating him as if he were a toy. Your hands are all over his body, feeling him, pleasing him.

Taeyong's eyes are glazed over when he cums at the mere thought of you touching him, his release trickling down his trembling thighs. Still, he plunges his wet digits into his sensitive cunt until he's almost faded. It's only then that he absent-mindedly takes the panties from his mouth, rising with shaky legs to clean himself up in shame.

The next morning, you open your laptop to find your most recent assignment returned to you, an A+ in the place where your B- was the day before.

You really did win him over, didn't you?

[rebelspykatie]

Rushin' through me like a fire Part 2

A Steddie Club AU

AO3 | Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

“Well I do. I don’t even know your last name or how old you are, but you want to get in my pants already?” 

Austin rolls his eyes. “Is that all it takes? It’s Lim and I’m thirty-four. Now can we move this along?” 

His gut is telling him this guy is bad news, to run in the other direction and never look back. Unease settles in his stomach. He stares at the guy for another moment before he says, “I’m not going to sleep with you tonight, if that’s all you want.” 

Another eye roll, but this one is with his whole body, pulling him off his bar stool and sipping up the last of his mojito. He leans down to say directly into Steve’s ear, “Go somewhere else if you want romance, honey.” 

As he walks away, Steve slumps back against the bar, the tension he didn’t even know he was holding draining from his body in one fell swoop. This was such a bad idea. Why did he think a bar would be the best place to meet someone? He’s all too aware of what most of the people in this room are looking for, it’s why he sticks close to Robin when they come here. Without her as a buffer, he’s left to the sharks. He thought he was ready to dive into those waters, but maybe not.

“Rough night?” An unfamiliar voice asks from behind him, startling him off the edge of the bar.

When he spins around on the stool, he’s met with a pair of brown saucers staring back at him, glittering orbs, on a face Steve’s never seen before. He thought that they knew every bartender here, but clearly that wasn’t true. Although, this guy isn’t wearing the standard all black attire or a waist apron. 

Instead, he’s donning an intricately cut band tee for another one of the groups Steve’s never heard of, something about a priest. On it, there’s a robotic looking tiger that’s about to pounce and what Steve assumes is the band’s logo surrounding the image. He’s got on black, skin-tight pants with artistic rips at knee level. Steve’s practically swooning over a little kneecap like he’s a Victorian maiden seeing an ankle in the streets. 

Scars litter his skin, snaking up his neck and down his left arm. His long, curly hair is pulled back into a ponytail, putting them on full display and Steve wants to run his fingertips over the ridges. He doesn’t let his eyes linger too long, even if he’s not looking at the scars so much as the expanse of neck he wants to sink his teeth into. Rings adorn his fingers, glittering in the lights around the bar, and a smattering of tattoos are inked onto his forearms. He just thought that Austin was hotter than the sun, but he has nothing on this man. Mouth dry and heart beating uncomfortably in his chest, he shakes his head, refocusing on what the guy said. 

“You could say that,” Steve huffs self-deprecatingly and shrugs. “I’m a bit out of practice.”

“Didn’t look that bad from here,” he leans against the bar, “seems like it was that guy’s loss.” 

His stare is intense, burning against Steve’s skin. He’s not quite sure what’s different about it, but his gaze doesn’t feel as predatory as Austin’s, or any other person in the room. It’s striking, a little playful and flirtatious, but not overly hungry. It’s been too long since someone flirted with him just for the sake of flirting. 

“Are you new here?” Steve asks, unable to tear his eyes away from this guy’s face, trying to memorize the dimples and sharp cheekbones. 

That makes him laugh, a sly smirk popping up that intrigues Steve. “No, and you’re not either, dancing queen. Does that line work on most people?”

He sputters for a second, thrown by the question. “I- that wasn’t a line. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before and I come here all the time with my best friend.” The dancing queen part of that statement finally clicks. Was this guy watching him? Had he been watching him? 

That makes him laugh harder and Steve is so lost. He must recognize the look on his face because he finally says, “I’m Eddie. I own the bar.” He waves a hand at the bottles. “And you’re Robin’s Steve.” 

“How do you know who I am?” 

“You do know there are cameras in here, right? I make it a point to keep an eye on all the regulars. Especially when they start showing an interest in my best friend.”

Steve feels about ten paces behind this conversation, brain moving like molasses to put the pieces together. “Wait, you’re Chrissy’s Eddie.” 

“The one and only.” He nods and gestures to Steve’s drink, “You want another one?”

“I think I need it after this,” he mutters.

Eddie chuckles and starts mixing him another round. He adds a flourish onto the end, doing a trick shot to pour the drink from the shaker to the glass. It’s impressive.

“She never said anything about you owning the bar.” 

“Probably a weird thing to work into a conversation,” Eddie leans against the bar, sliding the drink across it, looking like he has all the time in the world to spend on Steve. The other bartenders move around him, filling orders from other patrons. But Eddie stays right there in front of him, ignoring everyone else.

“How have we never seen you in here before? We come here all the time.” Maybe he should dial it back with the twenty questions. Steve sounds a bit accusatory, but he’s curious about how he’s never caught wind of Eddie.

“I’m a bit of a recluse. Came into some money after my parents died, used it all on medical bills and bought this bar to employ all my friends when we couldn’t get out of this podunk town. Crowds and sweaty bodies make me break out in hives.” He shudders, glancing over Steve’s shoulder to the floor. “I stay in my office or work on inventory once the club starts to fill up. I’m only out here on lighter nights.”

Ah, that’s why they’ve never seen each other. Steve and Robin come in on the weekends, when the bodies are packed elbow to elbow on the dancefloor. He’s only here on a Wednesday because he felt sorry for himself. It’s a lighter crowd than he’s used to, easier to spot prying eyes and wandering hands between writhing bodies. And apparently the way to meet the owner.

AO3 | Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

[ubehalayas-blog]

Kyle w fake s/o that has a crush on him (?) 

The only reason Kyle did this was to get his parents off of his back

They were worried and thinks that Kyle might be gay because for the whole high school Kyle never brought at least one girl back to their house (not that they actually cared though)

Although Kyle was not having it, he wasn’t gay (mhm sure) and thought of just asking for ur favor to fake date him until the summer ends so that his parents would get off his back.

It goes a bit like this:

“Hey– Y/n I have a favor to ask you” “can we.. like– be girlfriend and boyfriend but fake? Like you get what I mean, you read books–” “but if you don’t I mean like we fake date like we do couple things but just for public well for my parents because they’ve been on my back ever since the fucking summer started, they’ve been hinting to me that it’s okay if I came out to them as gay” he rambled on and on, explaining the pickle he was on

“Alright– I get it, Kyle”

“Oh yeah, right sorry” 

You two set like typical house rules for it, 1. No one can know, even best friends. 2. No touching allowed unless it’s consented. (of course my man Ky is a gentleman) 3. No falling in love with each other. 

“Does the last one even matter?” 

“I think–” you lied, (it didn’t matter but somehow most books you read had that rule but ended up falling for one another and you like Kyle so– it must be a spell that should be added right?)

You ended up putting a fake relationship in front of everybody, including your friends and parents.  

Stendy probably invited you to a double date or two, Stan suspects that two of you were pretending to be bf and gf but Kyle debunked his suspicions when he kissed you in front of Stan, you were shocked but kissed back. Let’s just say that the car ride back to your house was awkward, something like:

“We’re here”

“A-ah.. thanks, I.. I enjoyed today” you mumbled, taking off your seatbelt.

He just nodded, never letting his eyes away from the wheels because he was too nervous and embarrassed with what he did. 

He probably took you out on a date or two, on those dates he was given some money from his parents that he used to pay for his and your meals. (let’s js say you don’t have to spend any money when ur with him)

Honestly, Gerald and Sheila was your fan, they loved, adored you so much, they were so thankful that you’re Kyle’s girlfriend. They probably laughed around with you as they told stories about how they were thinking was gay and all, Kyle would probably redden from their embarrassing stories and would shout, “MOM! DAD!” when he thinks they’ve told too much lmao.

At school, he waits for you to finish your classes because he drives you to school and back.

Kyle invites you to study dates in his house but mostly because Sheila always wants to see you, (little did you know Kyle liked seeing you too) sometimes that study date ends with you staying in their house– you insist not to but Sheila and Gerald always find a way for you to stay.

You staying at Kyle’s house always ends up with you sleeping on the bed and Kyle on the floor, Kyle probably thinks that it’s too embarrassing to let you sleep on the floor so he volunteers. But when you said that it’s okay for him to sleep next to you he blushes and rambles on about not wanting to make you uncomfortable and stuff, it took you a while of convincing when he finally slept next to you.

The next day was a pain honestly lmao, his arm was wrapped around you, he basically fell off the bed when he realized he hugged you in his sleep. Maybe a bit like:

Kyle grumbled in his sleep, the sun hit his eyes as he slowly opened his eyes. His gaze landed onto your sleeping body and his arm that was wrapped around your waist, his eyes widened as he gasped, backing away from you as he fell down to the floor. The loud crash made you wake up, you rubbed your eyes as you looked over Kyle who was breathless and rattled, "What's wrong..?" you mumbled, "N-nothing.. I just fell off" He stuttered.

lol Idk, I find it funny when things like that happen.

I can't think of anything anymore honestly, my brain is fried and this is just a worthless attempt to do head canons because I seems to can't write some.

[upsidedownwithsteve]

dad!Steve Harrington x fem!reader [838 words]

The house still smelled like strawberries from that morning when Steve walked back in hours later, carrying another tub of them. 

He found you on the couch, the living room windows open and letting in what little summer breeze there was, his own plaid boxers rolled up across your tummy, the slight round swell of it starting to show. It was hot enough in Hawkins to allow you to wear nothing but a sports bra on top, skin a little sticky and the tiny human inside of you doing its best to make you as uncomfortable as possible. 

“There’s my girl,” Steve hummed, toeing off his shoes before coming to kneel in front of you, eyes fond as he pressed his elbows to the couch and greeted you with a kiss. 

You accept it eagerly, missing him an embarrassing amount when he left for work, even if his shift was only a few hours long. Pregnancy hormones were sending you haywire, four months in and a new urgency had appeared for Steve, stronger than ever. You were borderline clingy, not that the boy minded, pouting when he left for work, craving his touch when he returned. 

“Hi, baby,” you replied softly, sleep and the sticky heat making you lazy, stray hairs sticking to your neck, body sinking into the couch cushions. “How was work?”

Steve brushed back the baby hair, swept them behind your ears and brushed a thumb over your cheek. He told you all the time, but he missed you as much as you did him when he was gone. 

“Boring,” he told you, “and quiet. Sorted out the delivery paperwork and wished I was with you the whole time.”

You lit up, coming a little bit alive at his words, eyes shiny as you gazed up at him. You were pleased, he could tell, shy about it, not wanting to come off as needy after Eddie cracked a joke the weekend before. Your friend had watched the two of you fondly, calling you a koala after you spent the night wrapped around your boyfriend. 

He hadn’t been mean about it, but you’d flipped him off anyway. 

“Missed you,” Steve assured you, pressing another kiss to your lips, lingering there and sighing happily. You still tasted like strawberries, the one thing baby seemed to crave the most. “And you,” he murmured, pulling away from your lips only to drop a kiss to your rounded tummy. 

“Have we been behaving?” Steve asked, a hand rubbing over your ribs, drawing up to squeeze gently at your shoulder, the nape of your neck. 

You hummed appreciatively, his warm, rough hands doing wonderfully sweet things to your tired body, your stretched skin, your achy bones. You let your head drop, cheek pushed to a cushion to gaze at him and the sight of you made his heart stutter. You looked awfully pretty, although you’d disagree. 

Cheeks flushed, hair a messy riot, still sleep mussed and soft. He liked seeing you in his clothes as much as he liked seeing you out of them, but there was something extra sweet about the soft swell of your tummy covered by his underwear. 

“Barely,” you pouted, circling an affectionate hand over your stomach. “Someone decided to start kicking as soon as I tried to take a nap.”

Steve tried hard not to grin, but failed miserably, hiding his smile against your stomach instead. He dropped another kiss there, sticky with fondness. “You’re bad to your poor mom,” he mumbled into your skin, but he didn’t sound all that admonishing. 

He was gonna be such a soft dad. 

“No sickness, though?” He asked, hopeful.  

You smiled and shook your head, glad to have had at least one day this week free of the nausea that hit you as soon as you opened your eyes in the morning. 

“Well, in that case,” Steve smiled, presenting the tub of ruby red strawberries he’d left on the side table. “Fresh from Joyce’s yard, Will dropped them off at the store for you.”

You let out an almost sinful moan at the sight, the fresh fruit still glittering from their wash in Joyce’s sink and Steve huffed out a laugh. 

“Will I cut some up?”

“No, stay,” you frowned, unreasonably upset at the idea of him leaving for the kitchen, even if only for a few minutes. And although Steve smiled, he didn’t make fun, instead lifting your legs to sit next to you, letting your feet rest on his lap. 

He let the tub balance on your thighs, passing you the biggest strawberry out of the pick.

“You gonna try and get some rest? Whilst the little gremlin is satisfied with Aunt Joyce’s offerings?”

It was easy to yawn then, admitting defeat as the sun shone through the window, warming the space on the couch that you lounged on. Steve’s hand found one foot, rubbing and squeezing softly at the bare sole. 

“Only if you stay.”

Steve didn’t think it was an unreasonable request at all. 

[astrumark]

── CHECKMATE, I COULDN'T LOSE ★.

PAIRING: aegon ii targaryen x female reader.

SUMMARY: frustrated by your unsuccessful attempts to charm prince aemond, you should have known not to turn to prince aegon.

WARNINGS: fluff kinda, curse words.

WC: 3.4K

You have put so much effort into your looks for the evening, so specific when you ordered a new gown for the most high-priced seamstress from King's Landing. Your sleep the previous night had been uncomfortable as you went to bed with the tightest buns to achieve luscious and perfect hair. Getting ready had been exhausting as well, the dress buttons and ribbons were too complicated and tight, your skin was scrubbed almost raw, and the strong fragrance splashed over your body made you sneeze repeatedly. You'd gone as far as wandering around the city to find good and reliable pastes, powders, and paints, something you have never tried before, though a few of your friends loved to use them. Your eyelids were painted blue and cheeks a faint tone of red.

And in all honesty, you were looking splendid. Almost all eyes were on you the moment you stepped into the ballroom, many lords gawking and immediately asking you to spare them a dance. No matter where you went, heads turned in your direction. But not his.

The reason for all of your pampering barely glanced your way, except when you acknowledged him and curtseyed. But you didn't give up. At some point you approached him in the corner, and asked questions, trying to strike up a conversation. You tried to talk about topics you believed he was interested in, dragons, sword training, history and philosophy, and more. He didn't even pretend to be interested, his violet eye focused on everyone around the room but you, his responses guttural. It felt as if you were talking to a wall, and you started to feel fidgety, gulping down all the wine goblets that passed in front of you carried by servants.

You hated wine, the taste of it was too bitter and strong, but it was a good distraction to your pounding heart and dizzy head, certain you were embarrassing yourself. Although distasteful in the beginning, the warmth the wine provided in your chest was welcoming, and after a few more cups, the most you have ever consumed in your life, you felt yourself loosening up. You were completely conscious, but your body and mind seemed to be a lot lighter than usual.

Reuniting all of your courage, perhaps fueled by the wine, once you ran out of topics, you decided to test your luck. It went against all of the etiquette lessons, and it might as well be humiliating, but you doubted Aemond would brag about such a thing. You had hoped for him to ask the question, but each new celebration, and even his lack of initiating a simple conversation with you, proved that it would be unlikely. So instead, you sighed and did it.

"Would you like to dance, my Prince?"

He finally looked at you, his face as blank as an unpainted canvas, so emotionless it made your skin crawl and heartbeat quicken so much you could hear the blood rushing in your ears. It was only seconds before he blinked slowly and answered, but it could've been hours, anticipation eating you inside out.

"I do not enjoy dancing, my lady." 

You didn't move a muscle, an uncomfortable silence pairing between the two of you, your mouth slightly agape and mind fumbling to find a response. Suddenly, the music and chatter around you sounded much louder. There was a heavy sense of shame, certainly, but underneath it, there was also an odd relief, doubt no more weighing on your shoulders. He did not wish to dance.

"I understand," You said as composed as you could as if it was a casual offer and didn't hurt your heart deeply. "If you will excuse me." You curtseyed once again and got away, not waiting to see or hear his response. 

Body aflame, your eyes searched for an exit with purpose, the room now too crowded for you. All the lightness of the liquor disappeared and you just felt heavy and uncomfortable, throat drying out and chest tightening. 

If one asked when you fell in love with Aemond Targaryen, you would not be able to pinpoint it. Most likely around the age of ten and two, when your eyes could not help but look for the usually staid prince. Although even earlier in your childhood, when you were just small things sprinting around the castle with a few missing teeth, you considered him the coolest of all your acquaintances. Why you hold such feelings for him for so long was an even harder question, you do not know. Maybe you fantasized about him too much before bed, deep in your illusion. You have tried to discount those feelings and surpass them but to no avail. It was as if you were sick, and there was no antidote. Maybe that was your curse, to forever long for someone you could never have.

You rushed to where you knew there were huge double doors, now covered by dark green curtains for the decorations of the ball. Fresh air would probably do you some good. Closing the doors, you stopped dead in your tracks as you spotted the back of the head of a certain silver-haired, the strands cut short.

"Seven, did you bathe in a tub of fragrance?" Aegon didn't attempt to look at you.

Groaning, you stepped further into the balcony, making your way to his side. Unsurprisingly, Aegon was drinking, a jar of wine upon the balustrade, and silver cup in hand. You supported your elbows on the structure of stone, breathing in the cold wind that caressed your face. Countless stars and a full moon graced the dark blue sky.

Despite your wishes, you have grown used to Aegon's presence in the last few months due to some unfortunate circumstances, and pairing it with the fact you cared very little about his opinion of you or how unrefined he might think you are, there was no reluctance about what you said next, frustration clear in your voice, now unusually slurred.

"How can I charm Aemond?" 

Aegon snickered. "Oh. Yes, well, don't expect me to help," He shook his head, looking at you up and down. "Though I am certain you will find your way anywise." 

"You seriously cannot be solicitous for once in your life, Aegon?" You crossed your arms in annoyance. 

"Why do you assume I need to be solicitous?" Aegon scoffed. "You seem quite charming, I am sure you can find out how to get his… favor." 

"You are his brother! You could at least offer me some advice." 

"Alright, I will offer you one piece of advice," He took a big gulp of wine, his lips glistening with the liquid. "Don't act so desperate," He smirked. "And that's all you are getting. "

You rolled your eyes, facing the city ahead of you again. "You are of no use." 

"That's not what your sister told me." He laughed cynically. "If you want to succeed, then you have to do it alone. Can't have it all spoon-fed to you, can you?" He leans against the railing, staring at you with a mischievous grin. 

Oh yes, your sister, who's been sneaking around with Aegon for a few moons now, and essentially dragging you into her rendezvous as well. She always used you to cover and support her claims to your parents, a habit of hers. It wasn't even constant, their trysts. You doubt your sister could remain interested in just one man for more than a few weeks. However, you didn't have much of a choice other than being her accomplice and helping in her escapades, as you would never purposely have her get into complicated and shameful situations.

"I would rather have it spoon-fed, thank you."

Aegon chuckled. "Then, I wish you good fortune with charming my brother," He winked. "Just remember that you will get nowhere without the right attitude." He nudged you.

Your eyes came back to his face as your eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but it means nothing if you don't carry yourself right. Aemond won't be charmed by looks alone. You will have to give him more than that." 

You nodded. "Yes, he is not an easily impressed man," You sighed exasperatedly. "It would all be so much easier if I fancied you instead." 

"Now, that's very presumptuous of you to say. Why would you think I am easier?" The tone of his voice was exaggeratedly offended. "Maybe I am the hardest to charm." 

"If you were the hardest, half the women of King's Landing wouldn't be able to say they have laid with you, would they?" You cocked your head. "Or are all of them just awfully skilled?"

His smirk faltered for a second and he narrowed his eyes, leaving his cup behind. "Is that so, my fair lady?" He stepped closer to you, which made you turn your body towards him. "You have heard rumors? And who are you to say they are true? Besides your lovely sister, of course. Or do you prefer to believe them because it's convenient?"

You scoffed, shaking your head. If he truly believes his well-known behavior could be easily denied, he was delusional. "Rumors do come from somewhere, my Prince, and since we are talking about attitudes, you do not act any different than a… man-whore."

Aegon smiled disturbingly calmly at you, but his gaze was piercing. "Oh, do you get to decide that? Or are you judging so you can feel better about yourself in your righteousness?" He taunted you.

You chuckled incredulously at how he tried to change the topic from him to you, to give him some merit, he was not awful at it. And someone who doesn't know any better could easily be fooled by his falsely insulted speech, as he definitely sounds like he believes his words, but you're very aware of who he is.

"I can often see the disdain in your eyes… You must think every woman who's ever come close to me has some kind of hold on me, isn't that right?" He approached you even more, so much you took a hesitant step back. "What would you even know about me?" 

The sharpness of his words made you shiver, but you did not falter. "Fair, I do not know you much despite your reputation, but what I know certainly precedes it. It's a quick observation, it would be easier to charm you other than Aemond. Don't take offense." 

He laughed mockingly. "Well, then I challenge you to prove it," His smile turned almost cruel. "Let actions speak, and we shall see if you are right… or just a foolish, presumptuous woman." He raised his eyebrow in defiance.

"Prove it?" You repeated his words, brows furrowed.

"You have claimed that I am a man of want," His hand caressed the hilt of Blackfyre absently and your eyes were drawn to the movement, remembering his position. "So prove it. Prove that you are right and I am wrong." 

You gulped, finally understanding the meaning of his challenge. "I…"

"Is that the end of your words?" He chuckled again. "You are intimidated now?"

You remained silent, struggling to answer him. 

"Tell me, my fair lady, am I wrong?" Aegon opened his arms in invitation while smirking. "Prove me wrong." 

Your heart drummed, breath hitching as your eyes remained locked on Aegon and his mocking face. Infuriated, you start to walk towards him, however much slower than you expected, as if your body was not as sure as your mind. The prince observed you like a proper dragon, his eyes twinkling as the purple orbs silently goaded you to continue.

You stopped only inches from him, bodies brushing, and you could feel the scent of wine mixed with an interesting blend of cedarwood, saffron, and magnolia.

"Well? I am waiting." His voice sounded much more raspy now that you were close.

Chewing on your lower lip, you placed your hands on Aegon's chest, moving it up until you clasped them together around his neck as you looked at him with your most innocent doe eyes. However, your voice sounded anything but, now a lot more enticing. "Do you find me beautiful, my lord?" 

Aegon chuckled, his heart leaping. Never did he think he would see or have you this way. Too close, and looking at him so adorably. He seized the opportunity to stare at your features, eyes trailing over your face, and he concluded he adored all that he saw, even the tiny flaws that weren't noticeable from afar. He resisted the urge to touch your face, staring at your exposed chest and then back to your eyes. You are beautiful, but that is no wonder, he's been aware of your beauty for a good while now, even if you two are completely different.

Now your sister is a lot more like him, wild and spontaneous, and it was no surprise they found themselves often tangled up in bed. You, on the other hand, though not entirely shy and unafraid of speaking your mind when necessary, was a lot more reserved and dutiful. When he noticed your smitten stares at his younger brother, he thought there couldn't be a better, and boring, match. But Aemond never made a move, and there is no way that he might be clueless about your passion, anyone with eyes, either a pair or just one, could notice that. Much to Aegon's bafflement, he just deliberately ignored you. 

"Oh…" He pretended to be in deep thought before smiling teasingly. "How could I not?"

You tried not to show how embarrassed you were by his words and how genuine they sounded, pressing your lips together for a second. 

"Well, I think you are a very pretty boy," You leaned even closer. "Those lilac eyes of yours are so enchanting..." You rubbed his cheek admirably. 

Aegon shuddered with your closeness paired with the compliments, but he managed to stay still, hands firmly by his sides. He would gladly drown in your warmth and scent on any other occasion, but not right now. He smirked, masking his nervousness with confidence, even if his warm cheeks indicated how affected he was by just a small amount of your attention.

"My fair lady, I do believe you are giving my ego a bit too much validation." 

"It is well deserved." Your lips met his cheek in a light kiss, then moved it to his jaw.

Aegon bites his lip to not whimper right there, fist clenched to continue unmoving. Due to his silence and stillness, you continued to kiss his neck, nipping and licking the soft flesh, and you felt surprised to like the taste of him so much.

"What would you say you are doing?" Aegon asked amusingly. 

"Nothing." You said nonchalantly against his neck, kissing his throat before moving to the other side of his neck.

Aegon's eyes closed as you continued your ministrations on his neck, kisses getting wetter and sloppily. He grinned, lower abdomen burning, and still fighting the need to touch you. What an agreeable turn of events.

When you finished kissing the left side of his neck and face, your lips found his, unsure what else you could do to stir him up. Aegon didn't move for a while and you prayed that he would react soon, not certain if your pride could handle being rejected twice in the same night. Your fears drifted away the second your tongue brushed his lips and he finally gripped your waist harshly, eagerly returning the kiss with a grunt.

It was ferocious, but mindful, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. You have kissed before, once, and it felt nothing like this. Eerie fitting, balanced, and enjoyable. Your hand caressed his neck, the taste of wine not displeasing to you, not at this moment. It felt as if you were merging into one, drowning in each other's taste. You shouldn't indulge so much, but it was incredible, the attention and intimacy unlocking tons of repressed desires inside you and making your body tingle. A whimper left your lips and your heart thundered inside your chest. You forced yourself to pull away, eyes half-closed, feeling everything twice as strong as you should.

Then, you finally remembered you have won the challenge. Aegon didn't resist you, he was easy to charm. The victorious grin on your face made its way as fast as it disappeared when your eyes focused on the silver-haired man. Looking down at you, the prince looked absurdly delighted. 

"Congratulations, you've just proven yourself right, my fair lady," He didn't even try to hide his amusement as he moved away. "It seems I am truly a man of want. How surprising."

Your stomach lurched, your mouth agape in shock as a mortifying shame devoured your whole. This had been his plan all along, he wanted you to kiss him, obviously never truly feeling offended by your words. Aegon had tricked you, and you have fallen into his trap as easily as a rabbit. Seven, you could've vomited.

Embarrassment quickly turned into anger. "You cunt!" You raged, voice rising in a way that made you sound like a squirrel. "How could you do this?! You are so… unscrupulous and vile!"

"I didn't do anything," He laughed derisively, raising his hands in surrender. "You kissed me. I stayed right there, unmoving." 

You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration as you paced. "You are terrible!"

"Thank you, my dear." He smirked, supporting his weight on the door.

You rested your hands upon the balustrade, fidgeting them nervously. How could you have been so daft to not notice exactly what he was doing, consciously getting a rise out of you to his benefit? This night was disastrous.

When he spoke next, you jumped. Not expecting him to be so close, his breath tickling the back of your neck as he moved a piece of your hair out of the way. "Would you like to dance with me?" 

You sneered as you looked at him over your shoulder, voice dangerously low. "What?" 

"You have not danced tonight," He pointed out. "Were you expecting my excuse of a brother to ask you?" 

"That does not concern you." You said sharply.

"You are looking far too pretty not to dance." 

"There are plenty of men willing to dance with me inside that room." 

"None deserving of the honor." 

"And you are?" You chuckled humorously.

"Not even in the slightest," He whispered in the shell of your ear, sensuously. "But I can promise not to bore you to death." 

"You truly are shameless." 

He shrugged. "Be reasonable, my fair lady. It is just, after our shared kiss, is it not?" Your body trembled when he rested his ringed fingers on your lower stomach, pulling your body flush against his chest. "I know you enjoyed it. And I can say I'm as good a dancer as I am a lover."

You concluded you were not in your best state of mind when you didn't refuse immediately. There were no good reasons to accept his invitation, still, you felt tempted to. It is the thrill that he evokes when you are near him that you do not want to let go yet. It's an uncommon emotion for you, but one that reminded you that you were alive. The night had been dreadful already, so honestly, how bad could it be?

Aegon smiled wickedly when you accepted, and extended his hand for you to hold. You ignored the goosebumps that arose on your skin when your hands touched. He led you inside, separating for an instant to go and speak with the musicians.

Multiple eyes watched curiously as you made your way into the dancefloor. The music, of his choice, was soothing and sweet. Your arms were raised and intertwined as you both twirled around slowly, a matching playful grin on your faces as you switched arms and directions. 

Aegon meant it when he said he would not bore you to death. To your bewilderment, amongst fluid and precise movements, absolutely worthy of a prince, he also decided to add some childish dance steps. Wriggling his hips or clapping his hands in such a ridiculous way that made you laugh out loud and try it out yourself. In no way suitable for the grand event you were in.

You would've noticed some disapproving looks if your eyes weren't stuck on Aegon. Your dancing seemed effortless, a silent understanding floating between you, along with known giggles.

When he lifted you off the ground, putting you back down slowly as his hand went to the small of your back, you felt yourself getting lost in the lilac of his eyes. Perhaps to never be found again.

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 13:

But I come back stronger than a ‘90s trend…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

Charles POV:

I only had one thing on my mind when we came back into our chalet after a long day on the slopes: Hot Tub. I went straight into our room and looked for my swim shorts as Lizzie walked in.

"Someone is eager…" she chuckled and I walked into the en suite bathroom, leaving the door a crack wide open.

"That hot tub isn’t the biggest! And I want to relax a little before it gets too crowded or before I have to get out!" I said and walked back into our room, fluffy towel in hand, swim shorts on.

"Good point! Go ahead and make sure I have a seat… does it have seats?" she said and I laughed.

"I’ll take care, ma belle. Don’t worry. We’ll have enough space!"

We didn’t have enough space. The hot tub was made for 4 people max. and as JK, Joris and Andrea squeezed in, it got way too crowded. I pulled Lizzie against me, to make her sit at least a little more comfortable but somehow she ended up almost in my lap. I swallowed hard as I could feel her thighs pressing against mine. Her back flush with my chest. I tried to focus on breathing but having her this close, pressed to my body, half naked, made me almost dizzy. I felt like a pubescent teenager that couldn’t control his body. After a while Joris and JK began to yawn, Lizzie followed shortly after.

"I think that’s it for today, I’m out! Cheers guys, have a good night!" JK said and Lizzie and Joris got out as well, they wrapped their towels around them and prepared to leave, as Lizzie turned around looking at me.

"You guys go ahead, I’m staying a little longer, good night!" I said and they wished us a good night, then it was only Andrea and me left. He looked at me while I was squirming in my seat, feeling uncomfortable.

"You can go as well, if you want to… I’ll be fine!" I tried to sound nonchalant but failed.

"Charles? Aren’t you getting out because… because you have a… umm- a little situation down there…" Andrea chuckled and I blushed. Hard. "Okay. Then… good night. Sleep tight. Oh god no! I guess it’s already tight. I mean, sleep well!"

"Just go!! Jesus fucking Christ!" I groaned and Andrea laughed the whole way back in. What the actual fuck.

"There you are! I was looking for you! It’s almost midnight!" I said as I finally found Lizzie. Alone. Sitting on the terrace edge.

"I guess I lost a little track of time." she answered, not looking up.

"What’s going on?" I ask and sit down next to her. As I looked at her I saw tears in her eyes. "Hey! What’s going on!"

"Can you believe what happened this year?" she whispered and looked up into the sky.

"Yeah, I can… because for me it was just a matter of time until a team finally acknowledged your potential and offered you a seat…" I answered and she chuckled a little "What?"

"You always had this undying hope in me… I think I never thanked you for that?" she looked at me and I shook my head.

"Because you don’t have to. Did I ever thank you for being… for being my anchor?" I said.

"Your anchor?" she asked curiously, tilting her head, looking adorably confused.

"My anchor. You’re always by my side, no matter what. Even when staying close meant getting hurt in the process, over and over again. You never left. I can rely on you. I can always count on your support. You give me stability, security. But above all, you gave me hope in times when I needed it the most. You’re anchoring me whenever I have the feeling that all of this… this shit drags me away…" I tried to explain it as best as possible, although I knew that words would never be enough to explain to her how much I needed her in my life.

"Well, then I guess you’re my anchor, too." she said and I shook my head.

"No, ma belle. I have to step up a lot to be an anchor for you the way you are for me." I said.

"I don’t think so…" she smiled at me.

Behind us I could hear our family and friends count down and as the clock struck midnight the fireworks were lighting up the sky.

"Happy New Year, ma belle!"

"Happy New Year, Charlie bear!"

I pulled her into my side and kissed her temple.

This was going to be our year.

Lizzie would finally drive in Formula 1.

I would hopefully bring Ferrari back to its old glory.

And most importantly, this year I would make her mine.

"So, uhm, there is something I wanted to talk to you about…" I said and Charles paused the episode of Brooklyn 99 and looked at me.

"Okay? Everything alright?" he asked and sat up straight. I just nodded.

"It’s… well I got the call from Felix… so the FIA were asking about my… about my driver number…" I said and whispered the last words.

"Your driver number? What’s with it?" he seemed confused and I swallowed hard.

"You know, now that Kimi retired, the 7 would be available…" I began and Charles realised what I was on about "And I wondered if it would be okay for you, if I take it?"

"Oh ma belle! Of course it is? For me it was clear as day that you would choose the 7? It’s our number? Always was, always will be!" he laughed and I relaxed a little, sighed relieved "You didn’t have to ask, you know?"

"It’s just… I know how you wanted the 7, but couldn’t have it…" I mumbled and Charles pulled me into his side.

"I would love nothing more than for you to have it, ma belle!" he said and kissed my temple, then started the TV again.

"Now look a bit more intimidating, yes! Perfect!" the Photographer said and I posed for another 15 minutes until he finally was satisfied "I’d say we have a lot of footage to work with! Thanks Lizzie!"

"How do you like the suits?" Felix asked and I smiled at him.

"I absolutely love them!" I say and he smiles.

"So you and Valtteri will decide which one you’re having. He should be here any minute and then you can discuss." and right as Felix finished, the Finnish driver walked up the set.

I was nervous, to say the least. I’ve seen Valtteri before, obviously, but today was our first official meeting as teammates. And there was a lot on our agenda today.

"Valtteri, hi, umm it’s so cool to meet you, like officially! Umm I’m Lizzie, hi!" I ramble a little and stretch my hand out and he takes it smiling.

"Lizzie, good to see you, again." he shook my hand and I smiled, thankful that he was pretending like I wasn’t a nervous mess "So, how do you like the suits? Which one is your favourite?" he takes the sheet Felix hands him, then I’ll take mine.

"I like the second one more, I like the flow of the, let’s call them arrows, down the legs. Looks more active, you know what I mean?" I said and Valtteri nodded "Which one do you prefer?"

"The second one as well. I like the details at the legs, the other one is a bit boring. So yeah, I’ll vote for… AF1/XPERformance…" he said and I smiled.

"Alright you guys, then Valtteri hop on in and then you’ll have some more photo shoots." Felix clapped and walked off to talk to the Photographer.

"So, the flag of Monaco?" Valtteri asked and shook his head in the direction where I just laid the document on the table.

"Yeah, it’s a little tribute." I answered and Valtteri smiled.

"I get that people often think that you guys are a couple." he laughed and I blushed a little.

"It’s not just for Charles, it’s also for his dad. He never had a doubt that I would make it in F1 one day. And since he’s not here anymore. I’ll carry the flag of his beloved home with me, for him and Charles." I said and Valtteri nodded.

"That’s really beautiful." he smiled and I zipped up my suit.

"And we're done. Thank you guys!" George, our Photographer said and clicked through the pictures "Yeah we have more than enough. Good job everyone!"

"Alright, sit down, have a drink, Julie should be here any minute now." Felix said and Valtteri poured himself a coffee and gestured into my way and I just shook my head.

"Who’s Julie?" I ask as a young woman walks up behind Felix.

"That’s me. Hi. I’m Julie Mahle. PR-Manager, Content creator and your personal PR-Assistant at race weekends. Nice to meet you, Lizzie!" she says and she shakes my hand, then she walks to Valtteri and does the same "The next days we will film 2 Audi challenges, that’s little completions between you guys that we upload on our channels to entertain our fans in between races. We will have 10 over the course of the whole season. Tomorrow, after the big car launch, we will also have an Instagram live Q&A with you guys."

Valtteri and I nodded and looked at the plan Julie gave us. The Audi challenges seem to be funny and I was already excited to film them. Tomorrow we would start with a ‘What’s in the Box' segment and I laughed, thinking back to my PREMA times when Charles almost lost it when he touched something that felt like a real snake but was in fact only a rubber one.

"Sounds fun!" I said and Julie smiled "I’m sorry Valtteri, but I’m going to crush you…"

"Oh wow! We’re starting the competition early on, I see!" he chuckled and nudged my shoulder.

"I had a long time with nothing to compete in… so now I’m overcompensating I guess!" I laughed and he nodded.

"May the better driver win!" he said.

"Don’t, worry, I’ll plan to!" I smirked at him and he laughed.

"I’m nervous! Like really, really nervous Charlie! I think I will throw up!" I murmured and Charles only chuckled.

"It’s going to be fine, you’ll see! You go out on stage! You wave a little, answer some questions, say something about the car, they will take pictures and then it’s done!" he encouraged me and I nodded.

"I didn’t think the car launch would be this stressful already!" I whined "I bet my ass that there are at least 15 journalists who hate me and can’t wait to ask me questions to destroy me…"

"Just smile that gorgeous smile of yours and they will love you anyway!" Charles said and I smiled at him.

"Lizzie? Are you ready?" Julie walked up to me, Valtteri in tow.

"I have to leave, I’ll call you tonight?" I said to Charles and he nodded.

"Have fun, ma belle!" he said and ended the call.

"And now Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to our two drivers: Lizzie Doetterer and Valtteri Bottas!" Felix said and with one last deep breath I entered the stage, followed by Valtteri. I waved to the crowd, smiling as best as I could without looking too tense. The applause died down as I stood next to Felix.

"When we decided to make our move into F1 way earlier than planned, we had a close eye on the drivers that would be available for our line-up. One thing was for sure for all of us: we wanted an experienced driver, someone with enough confidence and knowledge to give us valuable feedback, someone who would step up and guide our next driver, because we also knew we wanted someone young, talented, hungry, fast and determined. We started this process in early 2020 and we had our eyes immediately on Lizzie, her talent, determination, race craft, skills, enthusiasm but above all her fighter mentality were for us the main factor to put her really far up on our list. And when we heard that Valtteri would be available? We knew that he was the right driver for us. His race craft, awareness, dedication and experience was exactly what we wanted." Felix explained their choices for choosing us as driver line-up and Valtteri smiled at me, I just chuckled and bumped slightly into his shoulder.

"We spent the last year developing our car with the input and feedback from Lizzie, who was not only test driving our car on several tracks, no, she spent over 250 hours in our simulator, working meticulously on every fine tuning there was. And after the final input from Valtteri, we are now more than confident in our car and it is safe to say that we want to race for wins! And I think with the work and effort everyone at the factory put in, the feedback of our two drivers, it is possible to do so!" Felix said and I felt myself blush a little when the crowd, including Felix and Valtteri, clapped after he mentioned the endless hours of simulator work.

"We, the Audi Sports Formula 1 Team with our drivers Lizzie Doetterer, driver number 7 and Valtteri Bottas, driver number 77, are proud to present to you the Audi ARS-22." together with Valtteri I pulled the veil off of the car and the crowd started to clap and cameras were flashing. We posed together next to the car and I felt how my tense smile slowly turned into a relaxed one. I looked at the car, my car, the 7 shining bright on the bonnet, and I felt a sense of pride, excitement and happiness surge through my body. This was really happening.

"Toiletry bag. Check. Jeans. Check. Hoodies. Check. Shirts. Check. Sweatpants. Check. Underwear. Check. Socks… Socks? Check. Jacket. Check. Leggings. Check. Scarf. Check. Beanie. Check. MacBook Charger… Charger? Where the fuck…?" I was packing my suitcase when the door behind me opened up.

"You’re not allowed to say fuck!" Liam shouted and I turned around, looking at him.

"Well… yes I can! I’m a grown up! I am allowed to say these kinda words!" I chuckled and he walked in and plopped down on my bed. Hands in his hoodie pocket.

"That’s unfair!" he said and I shook my head.

"Nope it’s not! Can you help me? I’m looking for my charger?" I asked him and he smiled sheepishly, pulling out my charger out of his pocket "You little charger thief!"

"I’m not! It was downstairs and Oma said to bring it to you!" he said, outraged.

"Oh! I beg your pardon, Bubba! Thank you for bringing it to me!" I kissed his cheek and packed the charger into my suitcase. Next I packed my MacBook, camera, headphones, wallet and passport into my backpack. I checked one last time my suitcase, then I closed it up and put it down on the floor.

"All done?" Liam asked.

"All done!" I answered and sat down next to him.

We watched tv together as Dad looked into my room with a big grin on his face. I sat up excitedly.

"You got it!" I exclaimed and he nodded.

"Yup, it’s here." he said and I jumped up, Liam looking confused, I scooped him up and threw him over my shoulder "Come on Bubba! Let’s go!"

"Where are we going? Who’s here?" he laughed as he was swinging on my shoulder when I walked down the stairs. I sat him down on the floor, on the table a cardboard box.

"How does it look?" I asked and Dad chuckled.

"Well, I like it. It’s really clean looking." he said and I opened up the box with shaking hands.

"Oh! It’s your helmet!" Liam realised and climbed on the table to sit next to the box.

I pulled my helmet out, some styrofoam nuggets falling out in the process.

"It looks like your car!" Liam looked at it with big eyes.

"That was the plan, Bubba. How do you like the design?" I asked him and he tilted his head a little.

"Put it on!" he said and I said "It looks so cool! Like the coolest really!"

"You think so?" I opened the visor and he nodded "Perfect!" I took it off and set it on the table.

"Here, Patrick said you should scan the QR code for the pictures." Dad handed me a little card.

"Perfect. I’ll post it later on." I said and looked at my helmet. I sat it back down on the table, as Dad handed me the helmet bag.

"You’re done with packing?" he asked as he helped me pack the helmet away.

"Yup, ready when you are." I answered and he nodded.

"I’ll get your suitcase and backpack." Dad said and left.

"Alright, Bubba! You promise me to be on your best behaviour while I’m gone?" I said and hugged Liam.

"Promise! And you promise me to try to be back for my birthday party on Saturday?" he whispered and I nodded.

"I’ll try my best, Liam. But just in case I can’t be here in time, that’s why we celebrated yesterday already together, right?" I said and he sighed a little, then he nodded. What he didn’t know was that not only would I be back in time for his party, I would also bring along someone else.

"You’re leaving now?" Sissy asked as she came into the kitchen.

"Yeah." I said and she smiled and hugged me.

"Good luck, Schwesti!" she said and I smiled.

"Thanks, where is Mum?" I said as Mum came from outside.

"I’m here! Don’t worry, I’m not letting you go without saying goodbye!" she walked over, kissed my cheek and hugged me tight "Goodbye, my sweet girl! Good luck! Show them that you earned this seat!"

"I will Mum!" I said and she released me.

One last kiss from Liam and I walked with Dad out in the cold.

"Formula 1 season 2022, here she comes!" Dad said as we got into the car and the driver pulled out of the driveway.

"Mercedes really wasn’t as fast as expected? But with them you never know…" I said as we sat in the back of the car "But George adapted really well, don’t you think?"

"Yeah, but George always has been good, he was just in a team that wasn’t." Charles said and I nodded "But it looked like Lewis was struggling a little? I don’t know if it’s the car or if it’s George… thinking he’s the future to replace him?"

"You think? I mean he’s still Lewis Hamilton. Last season was… it was unfortunate. But still." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Which leaves only Red Bull left… They were fast. Like really fast!" Charles said and I thought about how Checo breezed past me, almost pushing me off track "But they’re beatable."

"Yeah, I think they were sandbagging a lot… that car? That has a lot more potential to unlock!" I said and he looked out the window for a moment.

"I think they definitely weren’t showing their full speed… but who really has?" he said and I thought for a moment, it was normal to not show the full performance of the engine to not show the competitors everything, but still, it was interesting to see how fast, or slow in some cases, the cars were considering the circumstances.

"You were also pretty fast…" I began and Dad in the passenger seat chuckled.

"You too! I mean you were flying! If that is not everything you got? Phewww you’re real competition!" Charles said and I looked at him "What?"

"Were you doubting it? You sound so surprised?" I asked and he shook his head immediately.

"No! I swear! I wasn’t! I was- umm I was just so happy to see you beating some of the guys!" he said fast.

"Relax, I’m just messing with you." I laughed and he pinched my side "You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"Payback’s a bitch as you know!" he said and the car stopped. "So, ready to surprise our little Bubba?" he jumped out of the car and Dad and I followed him quickly.

We quietly walked in, Mum saw us and smiled, Liam stood with his back to us, watching as one of his friends explained something to him. Charles and I approached him and both leaned down at each of his sides.

"Booooohhh!" Charles and I shouted and Liam flinched.

"Charlie! Lizzie!" he smiled and hugged first Charles and then me "You both made it!"

"Do you really think we would miss out on your 4th birthday, Bubba?" Charles asked and Liam shook his head and beamed at him.

"I’m just here for the cake." I said and shrugged my shoulders, both boys exchanging one look and then wrestling me down on the mat, tickling my sides "Okay, okay! I’m not just here for the cake! Stop it now! I will retreat!" Charles pulled me with him up and Liam hugged my leg.

"Are you getting on the trampoline with us?" he asked us and we both nodded.

"Are you kidding? Of course!" Charles scooped him up on his back and gave him a piggyback ride to the entry, I followed close behind "Alright, ladies first!"

"Oh thank you, kind Sir!" I chuckled and took my shoes off and walked up the stairs.

"This is the best birthday ever!" Liam said and I smiled at him.

"Let’s go and hunt her down!" Charles said and both lunged at me.

"You made his day!" Mum said as I sat down, downing a bottle of water "He was hoping you would come, but now that Charles is here?"

"I’m forgotten… I know." I joked and she laughed "I definitely need to talk to JK. Phewww I’m out of breath! While Charles is still jumping around like there is no tomorrow!"

"You need your…" Mum began but I already inhaled once, putting my inhalator back in my bag "How was the driving? Is it working with your lungs and your back? Be honest!"

"It was good. Little exhausting, but that’s normal. Really Mum, no need to worry!" I answered and she nodded.

"Dr. Lindner called, he wanted to check in if your appointment on Monday is set." she said and I nodded.

"Yeah, I had his call on my phone but I just never had a quiet minute to call him back, did you say yes? Perfect, thanks Mum." I smiled at her as Charles plopped down next to me. I handed him a bottle of water and he smiled thankful.

"These kids? Wow… driving twice through Singapore isn’t that exhausting!" he chuckled and Mum patted his arm in sympathy.

"It’s anyways about time for the cake!" she got up and together with Sissy they called for the kids to come up to the table in 15 minutes.

We gathered around the table, Liam stood on a chair in front of his cake, and sang him a happy Birthday. He was the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time and I knew it was because Charles was here. Whenever he was here, Liam was the happiest. Me being his favourite was a long time ago.

The pre-season tests in Bahrain were over and the first race week of the 2022 Formula 1 Championship began 2 days ago.

"Did you expect something else?" JK asked as I drank something.

"I mean Red Bull? 100%! But Ferrari? They were so quick? Mercedes has nothing against them!" I said and he nodded "It’s going to be interesting, that’s for sure!"

"Most definitely! And now down again!" he took my bottle and pushed me flat on the bench "We’re not done for today!"

"I slightly regret asking you to be my performance coach… I forgot how much joy it brings you to torture me." I mumbled and JK laughed.

"No pain, no gain." he said and I groaned.

"Can we join in?" Charles said from somewhere behind me.

"Yeah sure, how you doing mate!" JK greeted Charles and then Andrea behind him "Liz maybe stops complaining now that we’re not alone anymore." he joked.

"I want to flip you off so bad…" I said and he laughed even more.

"Come on, princess. 3, 2, 1. And down. Wasn’t too hard now, was it?" JK said and I sat up.

"How do you feel?" Charles asked as he sat down on the bench next to me while Andrea adjusted his weights.

"Pretty good to be honest. I feel like now that we had the second tests and the set ups look great I’m ready, you know?" I said and Charles nodded.

"And how are you mentally? Lizzie, I’ve seen what the people are still writing about you, that nasty blog? Whoever is behind it? They downright hate you, for no apparent reason!" he said and I sighed.

"Yeah, people talk shit all the time, I don’t care." I said and grabbed my towel to dry my face. The truth was, I knew exactly who wrote that blog. It was a blog sponsored by ESPN Spain and Marca, one of Spain's biggest sport newspapers. And the writer said he met me once during my time in the WSeries at the race in Assen where I didn’t impress him at all and was apparently arrogant towards the writer when he met me. Counting one and one together it could only be Salva Diaz.

"That’s good, that you don’t let it get to your head." Charles said and began with his work out.

"Liz?" JK looked at me and I got up, he put the resistance bands around my head and I tried to focus on his pull instead of the blog. I couldn’t do anything about it, without telling what happened that day, so I would just ignore it. "Ready? Alright." JK pulled at the band and I tended my neck muscles to withstand the pull of JK "Hold it, hold it… okay 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Relax. Deep breaths… Ready? Go." after 9 reps JK handed me my bottle "How does it feel? Neck and back?"

"Tense? No, it’s fine, really." I said and he nodded.

"Front squats now." he said and prepared the weights "60?"

"70." I said and put my bottle down and prepared.

"10 reps. Let’s go." I focused on the weights, doing squat after squat.

"3, 2, 1. Down. Good job." JK patted my back and I gasped for air a little "Maybe a bit too heavy?"

"No. It was good! Come on! Let’s go!" I said and waited for JK.

"Hip thrusters next." he waved over to the bench and I got down on the floor "Make sure that you use your thighs more than your calves, you push up from your lower leg… yes, that’s better…"

"It’s not heavy enough, I can take more… make it 110."

"Okay. But if it’s too much…" JK put the weight on and I began again "… and 3, 2, 1. Down. Well done. Take a little break."

I sat on the bench, drinking my water as Charles sat down next to me.

"That’s a pretty tough routine? Don’t look at me like that! It’s more like, damn I don’t do 10 reps of front squats, kettlebell swings, hip thrusters, sumo deadlifts, military press, back extensions and crunches and that 5 times… plus cardio and neck training. Andrea said he might adjust my workout routine after he has seen what you’re doing!" he said and I laughed.

"I have to work out harder, because I've been out of the car for more than 2 years and didn’t work out like that! It’s just to make me as fit as possible!" I answered and he nodded.

"At least we can train together from now on!" he smiled at me.

"Yeah… that we can." I answered as JK came back.

"Ready for round 4?" he asked and I sighed but nodded.

"It’s like you said, no pain no gain!" and I got up.

"What about some yoga? You guys in?" I asked Charles and Andrea as I ended my last set and drank some water.

"Yoga?" Charles repeated and chuckled a little.

"It’s good for the muscles after an intense work out session. It promotes blood circulation and relieves tension in the muscles." JK explained and Andrea nodded.

"Let’s try something new then!" he said and walked up to us, Charles in tow.

JK stood in front of us, showing us the different poses and I did them easily, this was a part of my daily routine. Charles and Andrea on the other hand struggled a little but after a short while they managed to copy JK‘s poses. As we were done I leaned down, bending over completely and tensed my glutes, wrapping my arms around my ankles and counted down from 20, I always finished like this, one last stretch in my lower back.

"Charles? Hey! Are you listening? Are you good?" Andrea laughed behind me and I got up slowly and looked at them. Charles' cheeks were flushed and he looked a little nervous.

"Umm? Yeah. Fine. Totally fine." Charles said and turned around, walking to the bench where his bag was. I followed him.

"Hey? Are you sure you’re okay?" I asked him and he swallowed hard.

"Uh-huh! Sure, I’m good…" he answered.

"Okay… so later dinner together? I thought about going out. Tomorrow the season officially starts…" I said and Charles nodded.

"Yeah sure! Sounds good!" he answered and I smiled.

"Now I just need a shower…" and with that we left the gym.

"Stop being so nervous! It’s going to be okay!" Charles whispered as we stood in front of the conference room, waiting for us to be called in.

"I don’t know, I have a bad feeling, I can’t really explain why…" I said and Charles sighed.

"I’ll be right next to you! As well as Seb and Pierre! So come on now! Smile that beautiful smile of yours and all will be good!" he said and I nodded a little as the door opened.

"Let’s go…" I whispered and followed Charles in, Seb was the first one on the stage, followed by Charles, then me, Pierre and Lewis. I sat down and took a deep breath. I can do this.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first race of the 2022 Formula 1 season, here in Bahrain. Now a very warm welcome to our first drivers Sebastian Vettel from Aston Martin, Charles Leclerc from Scuderia Ferrari, for the first time ever Lizzie Doetterer for Audi Sports, Pierre Gasly for Alpha Tauri and Sir Lewis Hamilton for Mercedes AMG. Now let’s start with you Lizzie, first woman in F1 since 1976, how did you spend your winter, preparing for your first season in Formula 1?" Tom Clarkson looked at me with an encouraging smile and I calmed myself down.

"With a lot of work out sessions, studies of data and analytics, I also spent a lot of time in the simulator. That’s mainly wha-…" I began and looked for one second into the crowd of journalists as I saw him and my breathing ragged. Sitting in the third row with a devilishly smirk on his lips was Salva Diaz. Charles next to me realised immediately that something was wrong and followed my gaze. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath "Yeah, that’s mainly what I was doing during my winter break. Of course I also spent time with my family and friends and tried to have my mind in the right place. But above all I was just counting down the days for the season to start." I finished and forced myself to smile, trying not to look in his direction.

I didn’t listen to what was said next, I only focused on my breathing and trying to stay as calm as possible. If he’s here, then he will definitely try to ask something and as far as I know him, it would be very inappropriate and sexist.

"… and I think it’s a step in the right direction in terms of equality and diversity to have her here with us." Sebastian said and I looked up. Were they talking about me?

"Lewis?" Clarkson said.

"Yeah, I can only agree with what Charles and Seb said, it’s sad that it took so long for the motorsports world to recognise the talents of female drivers. But I’m really glad that it finally worked out and Lizzie’s here now with us, she’ll be a role model for a whole bunch of girls out there, showing that their dreams can come true." Lewis said and I smiled shyly at him.

"Alright, thank you Lewis. Let’s open this to the floor now and please remember to give your name and publication… first question, please."

"John Barrow, Motorsports Mag. Question for Lizzie. You’re 24 now, not really a young rookie anymore, with many young, talented drivers in F2 right now, hoping for a seat in F1, do you think it’s fair that you took the last open seat, after not being in the sport for years whereas they were fighting for your spot?" the journalist asked and Charles next to me scoffed.

"Connard." Pierre whispered under his breath on my other side. (asshole)

"Umm- of course I’m aware of the amazing drivers that are currently in F2 and I know their desire to make the final step into F1 all too well, I was in their position 4/ 5 years ago. But I was out of the sport not by my own choice? I was forced to, by almost dying… so yeah. I don’t think it’s unfair." I said, looking over at Charles, a murderous look on his face.

"Jean Michel, L'Équipe. Question for Lizzie. Where do you see yourself and the car after the tests? The target from Audi was to fight for wins, but do you think that you’re able to fight at the top, or is the midfield more the area you would see yourself?"

"Car wise I think we showed in the tests so far that we have a good car with a lot of pace, so yeah I think we, or specifically I as you asked, can fight for wins." The next questions were almost all directed at me, more or less the same thing: do I really think I am good enough for this. I felt my anxiety crippling up my spine with every new question and I began to fiddle with my cuticles, feeling the stinging in my eyes. As I thought a second of the next answer I was going to give, I felt the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger.

"Okay, I think that’s enough. We established by now that Lizzie is feeling capable of driving in F1 and I have no doubt that she will impress all of us, I’ve seen her multiple times on track and from Charles I know how she was back in karting. So I’d say there has been said everything there is to say on that matter." Seb said, his voice calm and collected, although his face clearly showed disdain.

"Right, so we got time for another question? Any other question, please?" Tom Clarkson asked the journalists and I looked around, Salva Diaz holding up his hand and my heart sunk into the pit of my stomach.

"Salva Diaz. Marca. Question for Lizzie. There have been a lot of rumours in the past, about if you and Charles are dating or not. But aside from that, you have now a pool of 19 men around you to choose from, who is the one that attracts you the most, or is it maybe even more than one, you might persuade?" he asked, looking at me with a disgusting smirk.

"Seriously mate? This question is inappropriate!" Lewis said as Charles next to me tensed up and clenched his jaw.

"It’s a question many people are asking themselves?" Diaz countered.

"Yeah? Then these many people can fuck off. We’re done." Charles was furious and got up, standing in front of me, waiting for me to get up "Come on, ma belle, we’re leaving." he said quietly in French and I looked up at him. My eyes glossy. He pulled me up and walked behind me, guiding me, with his hand at the small of my back, out of the conference room.

"I’m okay Charles…" I whispered as he led me through the door.

"Yeah, maybe. But I’m not." he answered and I looked over my shoulder and saw Seb and Lewis discussing with Pierre "That was not okay! All of the questions for you? And then that last guy? What the fuck?"

"It’s okay. It’s done now." I said and he just shook his head.

"I hope they won’t do that again!" Charles said.

"They will. I’m an easy target." I replied and Charles sighed.

"We’ll find a solution…" he said and I nodded, as we walked back to our hospitalities.

The fanzone was loud and a sea of people donning merch of every team. I was almost ecstatic to see people wearing Audi merch with my logo on it, even some posters for me. It was all happening in a blur. The questions asked, my answers. A bit of banter with Valtteri and then we walked off the stage to the fans, Valtteri in front and me behind him, nervously I thought to myself if someone even wanted my autograph or a picture with me. But as soon as we arrived at the fence the fans started screaming Valtteris but also my name. I signed t-shirts, flags, magazine covers, drivers cards, caps, even some arms. As a young girl held up a t-shirt for me to sign, she made big eyes when I signed it.

"Lizzie! You’re sooo amazing! Here! That’s for you!" the young girl handed me a bracelet and I beamed at her.

"For me?" I repeated and she nodded.

"Yes! Here we have another one!" the girl next to her handed me another bracelet.

"Oh my god! Thank you sooo much! They look amazing!" I smiled at them as I put the two bracelets on my wrist "I love them! They are so pretty!"

"We hope you win this weekend, Lizzie!" the one girl said.

"I will try my best!" I said and then we took a selfie together "I hope you have an amazing weekend here, girls!" I waved one last time before I was ushered away by a security guy. I took selfies here and there, signed more merch and other stuff and even received some more bracelets. At the end of the fence was a little girl, full in Audi merch, waving excitedly.

"Look at you! You look amazing!" I said as I stopped in front of her.

"Lizzie! You’re so cool!" she said in German and I smiled at her "You are the best driver!"

"Maybe not the best, but yeah…" I laughed and she shook her head.

"Papa said, if you made it into F1 you must be the best!" she answered and her dad behind her chuckled.

"She’s right! We’re so proud to see a girl making it into F1! And then a German driver in a German team!" he said and I smiled.

"Thank you so much for your support!" I said and signed the cap the little girl handed me.

"Can we take a picture together?" she asked shyly.

"Absolutely!" I answered and we all crouched together to take a picture.

"Here, that’s for you!" the little girl handed me another bracelet and I put it on immediately.

"Thank you so much! It looks amazing!" I said and looked at the bracelet on my wrist.

"Can I hug you?" the girl asked and I smiled.

"Yes! Definitely!" I answered and embraced the little girl "That's what I needed! Thank you so much!"

"We hope you win on Sunday!" she said and her dad nodded in agreement.

"I will try my very best!" I said and smiled one last time before I had to leave.

"Look at that! I got some bracelets! They are all so pretty!" I showed Charles my bracelets and he held my hand and inspected them.

"They really are pretty." he said and I smiled even brighter.

"I was always so… I wouldn’t say jealous, but yeah kinda, when I saw all the bracelets you got… and now I got some myself!" I said and he chuckled a little.

"I have so many by now, I always feel bad when I don’t wear them all. I always switch between them, taking a couple for one weekend and then some others for the next." Charles said and I nodded.

"Maybe I will get one day as well as many as you, but for now I love the ones I have!" I said and he smiled at me.

"I told you, the people will love you! How could they not?" he said and played with the bracelets around my wrist.

"Yeah, it’s just hard to grasp, you know? I’m here now, people are actually cheering for me after all the negativity of the past months? I just don’t want to disappoint them!" I said quietly and looked down, Charles grabbing my chin gently and tilting my head up.

"As long as you give 100% and be the best you can be, you won’t disappoint anyone!" he said firmly and I nodded a little.

"I will give my best… but I know there will be people out there, even journalists, experts or whatever that will crucify me for any small mistake that I’m making. There will be so many people for whom I’ll never be good enough…" I sighed but Charles shook his head.

"Ignore those people! You are one of the best drivers on the grid, believe in yourself!" he said and I smiled a little.

"I will try my best." I said and he pulled me into his side.

"You got this."

The first few laps were good, the car was bouncing a lot, but we expected it from what we’ve seen during the tests already. Apart from that I felt comfortable.

"Lizzie, start your out lap now. Have an eye on the fronts in turn 3 and 6. Mind the curb in turn 8. Valtteri was brushing it a lot there!" Pete said over the radio

"Copy."

I did as told and completed a fast lap.

"Good lap, Lizzie. P4. Box next lap."

"Alright."

The next laps I would test out the medium tires and I felt immediately how much faster I could go.

"Tires are really good." I pushed the radio button.

"Understood. One more try, then box.”

"Ok."

I warmed my tires and began my lap. I weaved through the track and the pace of the car was amazing, but when I drove into turn 10, I braked slightly too much and my tires locked up and I spun off the track, a full 360, but I managed to not lose the car.

"Track clear?" I asked.

"Wait for Albon and then all clear."

Alex drove past me and I joined the track again. I took a deep breath, great. FP1 and I almost lost the car already. I drove straight to the pits where I got wheeled back into the garage. I opened my visor as Pete walked over to me.

"I think we need to check the floor." I said.

"Alright." he nodded to Matt, one of the mechanics as they brought down the screens. I checked the lap times, compared them with the others. Then I watched my spin and shook my head.

"I’m sorry…" I began but Pete shook his head.

"Charles reported he almost lost the car as well, right after you. There must be a slippery patch. So look out on the next lap." he answered and I nodded.

I was almost certain that there wasn’t a slippery patch or something. I simply braked too hard and my tires locked up. I couldn’t think about it any longer as Matt gave Pete the all clear.

"Ready?" Pete asked and I gave him the thumbs up, closing my visor.

"First day is over, how do you feel?" Andrea asked and I shrugged my shoulders a little, poking at my salad.

"Good, I guess? I mean it was a good day, result wise, I think?" I answered and Dad chuckled a little.

"Lizzie, you were P8 and P7. That’s more than good, result wise." Pierre said and Charles nodded.

"I think you could’ve been even faster, you were a bit hesitant at some corners, I think?" he looked at me and I sighed.

"It’s my first race weekend. I don't want to crash out before I make it into the race!" I replied and Charles rolled his eyes.

"Stop thinking like that! Just drive." he said and Pierre nodded agreeing.

"He’s right. Get everything out of your head and just drive. The rest will come on its own." Pierre said and I forced myself to smile, then I took a big gulp of my water.

"You’ll do great. You’ll see." Seb said and patted my arm.

"Listen to him, he’s a world champion!" Felix said and we laughed.

"Yeah, you’re right. In Seb we trust" I said and Seb rolled his eyes.

"What?" Charles asked after a while.

"What?" I looked up at him.

"You want to say something… I feel it. Something is bothering you." he sat up against the headboard.

I sighed and sat up, thinking about how to phrase what’s on my mind.

"It’s umm… in FP1. When I spun… why did you say you almost lost it there? Why did you say there was a slippery patch on the track? I was braking too hard. My tires locked up a little, that’s why I spun…" I said, not looking at him.

"Because it was slip-…" Charles began and I glared at him "Fine. I knew that you would

immediately think about what the media would say and so I thought that if I also have a problem at the spot and say that it’s slippery…"

"… the media leave me alone and won’t tear me apart for screwing up in FP1 already?" I finished his sentence and he nodded a little.

"I’m sorry… it’s just… I know that you read all that crap they write about you and that is not really the best for your confidence! So yeah…" he admitted sheepishly.

"Thank you, Charlie!" I whispered as I hugged him.

"You know I would do everything for you!" he whispered back.

"But Charles?" I pulled away and looked at him.

"You want me to say that I’ll never do it again…" he said and I nodded "I will try my best, it’s just… in my mind it just clicks and I want to protect you, so… yeah I will try to stop it."

"Thanks, really…" I kissed his cheek and he smiled "And now, I go. We need to sleep!"

"You could also stay? We always shared a room in F2 and even when I was in F1 and you in F2?" Charles said and I thought for a second "I sleep better when you’re next to me…"

"Yeah… me too!" I replied and he smiled.

"Perfect."

"Perfect."

"Don’t risk too much, but push as hard as you can."

Charles' words in the back of my mind as I started my flying lap. Trying everything I could to reach Q3.

"Are we through?"

"We are through. P9." Pete said.

"Nice one!"

I drove back into the pits, got a new set of tires, checking my laps.

"You can push a little more." Pete said and pointed out some of the turns, where I was a little more careful than at other turns.

"Alright."

I got into heavy traffic, my mind went racing. I had yet to set a lap time after my last was deleted due to track limits. It was now or never. I accelerated and pushed the throttle as hard as I could and crossed the start line. Full focus now on the track. I was like in a tunnel, nothing else on my mind. I saw the checkered flag and pushed the radio button.

"Tell me we’ve made it?!"

"You’ve done it! You’re in Q3!"

"Valtteri?"

"His last lap time was deleted. He’s P15."

"Damn it. He’ll make up for it in the race!"

"Exactly."

P8 in Q2. It wouldn’t be a bad starting position for my first ever Formula 1 race. But I still had one last chance to make some places up. I drove out of the garage and started to warm my tires.

"Who’s on track with me?"

"Right now Hamilton, Russell, Gasly will pit now. Perez, Magnussen on track. Charles, Verstappen and Sainz are at the pit exit."

"Copy."

"Don’t risk too much, but push as hard as you can." Charles' words again in my head. Also how he said stop thinking just drive. And I just did that. I blanked everything else out. I just drove.

"Brilliant job, Lizzie!"

"Woooohoooooo! YES! Well done team! Thank you guys so much!"

"That was an amazing lap, you’re only 0.095 seconds behind Hamilton! Terrific job!"

"Thanks guys! Where’s Charles?"

"Charles is on pole."

"YES! Awesome! So happy for him!"

"Lizzie, first of all, congrats! P6 for tomorrow! That was an amazing lap!" Will Buxton congratulated me.

"Thanks! It was an amazing job by the team, they sent me out at the right times, tyre choices were amazing. That was a great team effort!" I smiled at him.

"But it was also a brilliant drive from you! You were also a good teammate there, asking straight for Valtteri and later even checking up on Charles?" he asked me and I nodded.

"Valtteri was over the last few weeks such an amazing help for me! He helped me to adjust to the car, showed me what to look at, how to go check certain things. He’s been an amazing mentor and I wished he would’ve been with me in Q3, but I know he will come back stronger tomorrow in the race." I answered and he nodded "And Charles… I mean, I obviously keep on checking for him, I’m so proud of him after that qualifying and hope he can convert that pole into a win."

"So no win for you?" Will chuckled.

"I mean, pace wise it will be really hard to catch up to him. But yeah we’ll see what we can do."

"First Drivers Parade… nervous?" Valtteri asked as we got on the low loader truck.

"No? Yes? I don’t know?" I answered and he chuckled, then nudged my shoulder.

"You’ll be fine, I know it!" he said and I nodded, he clapped Charles on the back who approached us "Hey mate."

"Hi Valtteri." Charles smiled at the Finish driver as he walked off, then he looked at me "You look a little pale?"

"I’m good… I just want the race to start now!" I admitted and Charles laughed.

"Yeah, I remember how I was before my first race. I just wanted to get into the car and drive…" he said and I smiled.

"I know, I was there!" I replied and we laughed.

"You were… like you’re everywhere that’s important to me!" he said and pulled me into his side "And now smile and wave at the crowd!" and I did just that.

"We’re all so proud of you Lizzie! You’ll be amazing!" Mum said and I smiled at her.

"Show me! Lizzie! Look what I’m wearing!" Liam came into frame, clad in Audi merch from head to toe.

"Oh wow Bubba! Look at you!" I laughed and he beamed at me.

"I’m your biggest fan! Oh… but also Charlie’s! Like both of you!" Liam said and I smiled at him.

"I think we can happily share your support!" I said and Charles walked up next to me, football in one hand "Speak of the devil!" I tilted the phone so that Liam could see Charles.

"Hey Bubba! I see you’re ready for the race!" he said and Liam nodded.

"But look what I wear under!" Liam said and lifted his Audi shirt, revealing a Ferrari shirt.

"Look at you!" Charles laughed and Liam was happy that he made both of us happy.

"I’d say now Charlie has to win!" Dad said behind us and Liam nodded.

"Yes! Charlie wins and Lizzie makes it onto the podium!" he agreed and I laughed.

"Sure! I’ll try my best!" I smiled at him.

"I have a good feeling that Lizzie will be on the podium, Bubba!" Charles said and I rolled my eyes a little.

"We gotta go now, Liam! I’ll call you after the race!" I said and Charles nodded.

"Bye little one!" he said and Liam sent us air kisses.

"Good luck!" he yelled before he ended the call.

"Warm up a little?" Charles asked and I nodded, grabbing the ball from him.

"Yup, let’s go."

Charles POV:

I stood in front of Lizzie’s garage, waiting for her and looked up at the picture of her, smiling down on me. Someone approached me and I looked down.

"Good luck, Charles! You can win this!" Juergen said and hugged me.

"Thanks, but shouldn’t you cheer for Lizzie?" I teased him and he rolled his eyes boxing my arm a little.

"I’m not picking a favourite out of you two! You battle it out on the track and the best should win… like back in the day!" he said and I smiled.

"Sounds fair!" I laughed as Lizzie walked out of the garage, her race suit rolled down to her waist "Ready?"

"Let’s vibe to the anthem I say!" she laughed and gave Juergen a kiss on the cheeks, hugged me and walked away "Come on Charlie!" I turned around and followed her as something caught my eye. Inside of Lizzie’s race suit was the Monegasque flag. I stopped abruptly. Lizzie took another 3 steps before she realised I wasn’t next to her, then she turned around.

"What’s wrong?" she asked, worried.

"Is that… Lizzie is that- is that the Monegasque flag?" I almost whispered it and her eyes widened a little as she blushed.

"Yeah… it’s umm- it’s a little tribute, for your Dad, he always said I would make it into F1. He never had any doubt, even when I had them… a lot. But he never doubted it for a second… so yeah, that’s for him." she said and I almost choked up "But it’s also for you, Charles, because you did as well. You always said we would drive one day together in F1 and here we are. You were always by my side, through thick and thin. You believed in me when I wasn’t anymore. So yeah, this is for you as well. My anchor."

I hugged her tight to my body, blinking the tears away.

"My anchor. Without you, I wouldn’t be here either. Tonight we make them proud!" I whispered and kissed her temple.

"Get a room, you two!" Pierre shouted as he walked past us, while Daniel did a wolf whistle.

"They’re just jealous, because I get to hold you close and they don’t!" I said, pulling away.

"No, that privilege belongs only to you." she said as she wiped away the tears from my cheeks "Damn, Leclerc. We’re not even racing yet and you’re already sweating."

I was taking one last breath. Closing my eyes. And then it started. The lights went out and I went off. Hamilton overtook Perez, then I overtook Perez, chasing Hamilton for that P4. Behind us was a little commotion but we were already too far gone to be involved. A yellow flag was waved, a moment later the track was clear again. I fully focused on Hamilton in front of me, staying as close as possible. As soon as the DRS was enabled I tried to catch up even further.

"Spare front left a bit." Pete radioed.

"Copy. Gap?"

"0.9. Stay like this and you’ll have DRS."

"Alright."

And DRS I had indeed, but Hamilton was clever, fighting off my attack lap after lap.

"Hamilton says tyres are really good."

"Yeah? He’s sliding a lot for that."

"How are yours?"

"Better. No sliding."

"Strat 1A then."

"Copy."

The next few laps I stayed close to Hamilton but he always was able to fight me off, no matter how hard I tried.

"Box, Box." Pete said and the next lap I drove into the pit lane, right after Hamilton.

2.4 seconds. A good stop. But I wasn’t the only one with a good one. Hamilton got released just as I approached him and I had to break to avoid us touching. No undercut then. Now it was all down to who would warm the tyres faster. The battle for the 4th place went on lap after lap, with me overtaking Hamilton and him overtaking me. Back and forth until our next pitstop. And after that it went on again like that.

"Do I have anything left? Pace wise?" I pushed the radio button and hoped for a miracle.

"We can try setting… safety car. Lizzie, Max has retired. It’s now a battle for the podium."

Battle for the podium? In my first race I could get a podium? I just had to overtake 7 time world champion Lewis Hamilton for that. Something I failed for the past almost 50 laps. Game on.

"Box, Box."

I knew I had a set of new softs.

"Does he…" I began.

"Only used ones." Pete knew exactly what I wanted to ask.

A set of new softs. I warmed them as good as possible, preparing for the re-start. I knew Charles long enough to know when and where he would start and had an amazing re-start. I made a bold move, round the inside and Hamilton left enough space for me to squeeze past him, with the better tyres I had more traction for the next few corners and could defend my position. I was even able to keep him out of the DRS window as soon as it was enabled again.

"Hamilton now behind with 1.3 seconds. Sainz ahead with 1.1 seconds. 3 laps to go."

"Who’s faster?"

"You’re faster than Hamilton. Sainz is slightly faster than you."

"Copy."

3 more laps. Push through.

Penultimate lap. Come on.

Last lap. Only 5,412 km between me and my first ever F1 podium. Full focus.

Checkered flag. P3.

"GOOD JOB, LIZZIE! WELL DONE!" Pete screamed.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! DID WE JUST LAND ON THE PODIUM?!?!"

"You drove brilliantly! Amazing! Thank you, Lizzie! We’re all so proud of you!" Felix radioed and he sounded a little off.

"Are you crying? Felix!" I chuckled and he cleared his throat.

"No, I don’t! But honestly! Freaking amazing, Lizzie! Congratulations on a brilliant first race and your first podium!" he said.

"Thank you guys! This is for all the hard work you guys put in the car! Here and back home at the factory. Where’s Valtteri?"

"P6!"

"WOOOHOOOO!!! From P15 to P6! What an amazing recovery! Awesome job!"

"Double points!"

It felt amazing, putting the car in that P3 spot. Next to Charles, who was already getting out of his car. I sat there for a moment to gather myself. P fucking 3. What?! Someone patted on my helmet and I looked up.

"Get your ass out there!" Charles shouted and I unbuckled my seatbelts, put the steering wheel out and climbed out of the car, straight into Charles arms who twirled me around "I’m so fucking proud of you, ma belle! Your first race and you’re already on the podium! Congrats!"

"Thank you Charlie, congrats on your win! Fucking hell a P1-P2! Ferrari is back!" I said as he sat me down and I opened my visor.

"Yeah, no go to your team! They want to celebrate you!" he pushed me towards the Audi crew and I jumped into them, everyone patting my helmet, shoulders and arms.

"Fantastic!"

"Well done, Lizzie!"

"Amazing race!"

"Brilliant race, Lizzie!"

I felt like floating when I reached Dad who pulled me into him.

"I’m so, so proud of you, my little owl! You did amazing! We’re all so damn proud!" he sniffled a little and I pulled away.

"Nooo! Pops stop crying!!!" I said and he shook his head.

"I’m not crying! Don’t look at me like that! It’s just-… You’re on the freaking podium! Charles won! I’m so happy and proud of you two!" he said and I waved Charles over. Dad immediately pulled him into a tight hug. "We’re all so proud of you! You two did amazing!"

"Oh Pops, stop or I’m crying!" Charles laughed and Dad did as well "Lizzie, you need to go to your weighing." he looked over at Jo Bauer, waiting for me.

"Oh shit, yeah, I almost forgot." I walked over hastily "Sorry! I was overwhelmed."

"No worries at all, Lizzie. Good race! Well done!” he smiled at me, noting my weight and handing me the receipt.

"Thank you!" I said and walked up to the little table and pulled my helmet off, after that I wiped my face with the towel and drank some water. Then I walked over to Carlos and nudged his shoulder.

"Good race! Congrats!" I said and he grinned.

"Yeah, you too Lizzie. Well done!" he said and someone engulfed me in a hug from behind, lifting me off the ground.

"YOU’RE THE FREAKING GOAT!" Pierre screamed and I laughed. He let me down again and I turned around and he hugged me again "You’re on the podium! You’re on the freaking podium! Congrats!"

"Thanks, Pierre!" I smiled at him and he nodded at Carlos.

"We’re going to party tonight!" Pierre hugged me again and then walked up to Charles to congratulate him. I took another swig from my bottle as I saw Seb approaching me.

"Lizzie! Amazing race!" he said in German and hugged me "I’m so damn proud of you!"

"Thanks Seb!" I smiled and he patted my shoulder again before he left to congratulate Charles as well. I drank some more as Julie waved at me, nodding her head into the direction where the camera crew was standing. Of course, the interview. I took a deep breath and walked towards a guy smiling at me and handing me a microphone.

"Lizzie, congrats on P3! What a race! Your overtake on Perez looked phenomenal! And then that fight with Lewis? Talk us through!" Martin Brundle said and I smiled at him.

"Thanks, Martin! It was an amazing feeling, having that much pace to overtake him like that! But yeah, Lewis was a tough battle! Whenever I thought I might have him, he always came back. But he’s not a 7 time world champion for nothing." I answered and Martin laughed.

"He’s a tough opponent, that’s for sure. But you managed to overtake him and now you’re standing here, P3, podium, in your first F1 race. How does it feel?" he asked.

"Can I be honest? I’m feeling a little like I’m dreaming or something? It doesn’t feel real. I mean… fucking hell! Podium? I can’t believe it! It feels so freaking amazing. It was a good first weekend for us, we scored some nice point with Valtteri’s amazing race from P15 to P6!" I said and laughed when Valtteri showed up behind Martin waving at me.

"I let you join your team mate, then. Enjoy your first podium! Amazing race, Lizzie. Well done!" he finished and I smiled at him.

"Thank you!" and with that I gave the microphone back and walked up to Valtteri, who pulled me in a hug.

"Brilliant job, Lizzie!" he said and I smiled.

"You too! What a race! P6! Amazing!" I replied and he just waved it off.

"It was okay. But you? Fantastic! You need to celebrate this!" he smiled at me and I nodded "And now off you go to get that trophy!"

"Yeah." I laughed and followed one of the F1 officials into the cool down room.

"That was an amazing overtake, Lizzie. He had no chance!" Charles gushed as he saw the replay of my overtake of Perez "And that fight with Lewis! Brilliant!"

"He was a tough nut!" I replied as the replay of the checkered flag was shown and how the Ferraris crossed the line first and then with a little gap me.

"Lizzie? You’re first!" the same F1 official from before called me on the podium and I walked out, the crowd cheering, and stepped on the podium. I could hear some booing here and there but I couldn’t care less at the moment. Podium. Fucking amazing.

It was all a blur. Monaco Anthem. Italy Anthem. Trophies. And then the Champagne. The loud pop of the cork ringing in my ear as I was doused in the sticky liquid by Charles. I sprayed him and Carlos, then we cheersed on each other and I took a swig of the bottle.

"Ewww… I thought in F1 it would taste at least a little better!" I laughed and Charles only shook his head.

"Nope, still disgusting." he chuckled a little and took a sip as well "Yeah, never gets better."

As the pictures were taken, Charles pulled me close to his side, cheeks hurting from smiling like crazy.

We were ushered to the post race press conference and Charles and I joked around as Tom Clarkson began. Most of the questions were positive, congratulating me, saying they were impressed. I saw Salva Diaz, hoping he wouldn’t have a chance of asking anything, but I was wrong, unfortunately.

"Question for Lizzie, your overtake on Checo looked almost a bit too easy? He didn’t put up much of a fight there…" he began.

"Lewis' overtake on him wasn’t different? He had problems with his engine as we found out… so what are you implying?" I interrupted him.

"I wasn’t implying anything… Who will be the lucky man you’re celebrating your race with tonight? Maybe even Checo?" he then countered and I saw Charles next to me clenching his jaw.

"With every single person that comes down to the club where we will be." I answered, voice indifferent.

"Alright. That’s it for today. Thank you to our 3 drivers, Lizzie, Charles and Carlos. Have a nice celebration and we’ll see you next week in Saudi Arabia. Good night!"

I jumped up and we left the stage, Julie waiting for me.

"Why do I have a feeling that this guy really doesn’t like you?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I don’t know, he’s just a sexist asshole, don’t worry…" I answered but Charles just scoffed.

"This guy needs to be gone. It’s the second time now that he asked something like that! That’s not okay, Lizzie!" he said.

"Let’s wait for Saudi Arabia. If he pulls something like that again…" I sighed.

"Of course he will!" Charles replied.

"We’ll see, okay? And now I don’t want to think about him anymore! I want to think about the amazing race we had! And how and where we celebrate!" I said and Charles chuckled a little.

"You’ll see, ma belle, you’ll see!"

As I finally made it back into the Audi garage a wild party was already going on, everyone clapping and cheering for me as I walked in.

"Alright, everyone, quiet please. I want to say a few words!" Felix said out loud. And everyone was looking at him "First of all: Big congratulations to Lizzie! You had an amazing first weekend and today’s race was just phenomenal! A podium in your first race! We’re all so proud of you! Then of course Valtteri! You coped brilliantly! From P15 to P6! Good job! I’d like to thank not just you two for today’s success, but also the whole team, everyone who worked so hard for this result today! I have a good feeling about this car, this whole team and our drivers of course! So, let’s celebrate tonight. Our team briefing can wait until tomorrow!"

"Let’s goooo!" Matt, one of my mechanics shouted and the whole team cheered with him.

I hugged people here and there, made small talk and laughed and smiled. Right as I thought I possibly couldn’t smile brighter, I saw a text from Charles, asking when I’m ready to leave. I said my goodbyes to the team, telling them that I want them all at the club later on, grabbed my bag and left with dad, whose smile didn’t falter once.

"You have no idea how proud I am of you, my little owl." he said as we walked side by side to the car park.

"Pops, you said it already like a million times! I know by now!" I laughed but he shook his head.

"Yeah and you will hear it probably another 2 million times! I’m proud of you! Really!" he said and pulled me to his side "Today you showed the world what we all already knew, you’re a true fighter and a terrific racer! And it seems that a lot of people world wide agree, you won the vote for driver of the day!"

"That means nothing…" I began.

"Yes, it does Lizzie!" he replied and I sighed.

"Maybe you’re right…" I said and he chuckled.

"I’m always right."

"Wow… Lizzie, you look… wow…" Charles looked at me in the mirror and I turned around "You look so amazing, ma belle. Beautiful."

"Thanks, Charlie. You look very handsome yourself!" I answered, smoothing down the dark green fabric of my dress.

"It’s nothing compared to you!" he answered and I shook my head, Charles looked dashing in his dark blue jeans and white button down.

"That’s not true! The girls will be all over you tonight!" I laughed and turned around and looked into the mirror again, checking my make up one last time, as Charles walked up next to me, turning me around, one hand on my waist, the other gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His eyes lingered for a moment on my mouth, then they wandered up to my eyes.

"I don’t care about other girls, because tonight I’ll only celebrate you… and I plan to be all over you…" he whispered and I could feel his warm breath fanning over my face, I swallowed audibly and he grinned at me. I felt hot, my insides boiling. He was so close. Too close. But not close enough. I glanced down at his lips, his perfect lips. Did he just lean in? I opened my mouth, I had to say something, but then someone started banging on the door and we pushed away from each other. I walked into the en suite bathroom. Trying to cool myself down. Something like that couldn’t happen again.

"Get your ass out of there, Lizzie! Come on! They are all waiting for us!" Pierre yelled through the door and I took one last deep breath, then walked out.

"Jeez! I’m ready! Can’t a girl have a minute of privacy?" I asked and he just shook his head.

"Nope, not when she’s this hot and has a podium and a full club of guys waiting to celebrate with her. So let’s move it!" he laughed and pushed me out of the hotel room, I could grab my purse at the last moment and the next thing I know is how I downed my first shot of the night.

"To Charles and Carlos! First P1-P2 for Ferrari in a while! And to Lizzie! For scoring her first podium in her first race!" Pierre shouted and we all drank another shot.

"I must say, I’m more than impressed, Liz. That weekend of yours? You shut a lot of mouths!" Daniel said and I smiled at him "Damn good to be driving along a history maker!"

"Thanks Daniel! Really!" I said and hugged him.

"Hey! Unfair!" Charles next to me huffed and pulled me out of Daniel’s embrace before hugging me himself "You said only I have the privilege to have you this close!"

I had to contain my laughter at his adorable pout and instead kissed his cheek.

"Sorry Charlie bear, but he was nice to me… so I had to say thank you, right?" I laughed but Charles shook his head, a movement he regretted a moment later.

"Shouldn’t have done that… ugh… I’m feeling dizzy now…" he mumbled and I walked him back to our booth and sat him down, handing him a bottle of water "Thank you, ma belle… but what I was saying… you can shake his hand to say thank you…"

"Oh Charles come one… don’t be so possessive!" I laughed, although my cheeks blushed hard at the thought of Charles being this possessive over me.

"But I am this possessive! You’re mine." he rasped quietly and the air between us was loaded with tension.

"What?" I swallowed hard, I must misheard that.

"I said you’re my best friend. My Lizzie. Ma belle." Charles said, his voice sounded a little nervous "Right?"

"Yeah… yeah you’re right…" I answered and grabbed a bottle of water for myself "Maybe we should leave Charles. You’re a little drunk and I don’t want you to be totally hungover tomorrow!" I got up and he only nodded, doing the same.

"You’re right. We have team meetings to attend in a couple of hours…" he answered, although he sounded almost sober again "Let’s go."

The whole way back to our hotel and Charles room we were silent. I went to the bath room first, showered quickly and was preparing for bed. I walked out in an old shirt from Charles and a leggins. He sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone.

"I always wondered where that was…" he chuckled as he looked up, pointing to his shirt.

"It’s comfy, so I stole it…" I answered and grinned at him "You can go now, I’m done."

"Alrighty then." Charles stood up and closed the door behind him.

I laid down, thinking about what happened before the club. It wasn’t the first time that we were this close to each other, that I felt like my body was craving him, not just my body, but also my mind. I had to stop myself from doing something stupid. But on the other hand, it seemed that Charles had to do the same? Or was it just the champagne? We drank a little more while getting ready. But these kinds of moments happened a lot over the last months. And usually we were sober… My mind was reeling, trying to find an answer… but instead of being wiser, my mind drifted off, replaying the scene from the club earlier over and over… and with Charles' image in my mind, I fell asleep.

"All in all it was an amazing weekend for us! 23 points, no damages, one podium. Amazing. Let’s continue like this in Jeddah! See you all there!" Felix finished off our first ever post race team meeting and we were dismissed. I said goodbye to everyone and left, looking for Charles, as Dad and I would fly with him to Jeddah. We haven’t talked about what happened last night, this morning was hectic with packing our suitcases and hurrying back to the track for our respective team meetings. I walked out of our garage bumping straight into Andrea.

"Charles sent me to pick you up, the team meeting isn’t over yet." he said and I nodded.

"Why do they need this long? Was there anything they could’ve done better? I mean you have a P1-P2 plus the fastest lap?" I laughed but Andrea shook his head a little.

"Yeah, I don’t know either… he said we should go ahead and he will come straight to the airport." he said and I cocked an eyebrow.

"Umm… okay. Dad and JK are waiting with my stuff in our hospitality-" I began but stopped as I saw both of them walking up to us, Dad with my suitcase and backpack "Nevermind." I laughed and Andrea chuckled a little.

"I go and grab Charles and my stuff, I meet you at the car?" he said and I nodded as he walked off.

"So? How was the first post race team meeting?" Dad asked as we walked to the car park.

"I mean there wasn’t much to say was there?" I shrugged my shoulders and they laughed.

"Probably not, no." he answered "We’re waiting now for Charles? What’s taking so long at Ferrari?"

"It’s Ferrari…"

"Are you okay?" I asked Charles, while he was tapping away on his phone.

"Yeah, why?" he didn’t even look up from his phone, so I gently took it from his hands "Lizzie, I’m fine. Can I have my phone now?"

"No. Because you’re not honest… you can have it back as soon as you start talking!" I said, leaning back in my seat, looking out the window. Charles next to me sighed and then leaned back as well.

"Sylvia spoke to me about the way I celebrated after the race…" he whispered and I turned to look at him.

"The club? You didn’t do anything? Yeah we drank a little but we didn’t do something… we made it back to the hotel without leaving any chaos behind?" I asked and he shook his head, closing his eyes.

"No, straight after the race, when I got out of my car… she said I should’ve gone to Carlos first, to celebrate our P1-P2, then our team. And then lastly you…" he mumbled.

"Oh… okay… I’m sorry." I said and Charles whipped his head into my direction.

"Why would you apologise for her erratic behaviour? I swear she just looks for reasons to annoy me… she said apparently it wouldn’t look good to the Tifosi if I would congratulate and celebrate first with another driver and then with Carlos… I told her you’re not just another driver and she knows it… but yeah you know her." he said and I chuckled a little, yes, I knew how Sylvia could be.

"Was that why the meeting took that long?" I asked and he nodded.

"I explained to them that I was just happy for you and that I can’t control my emotions after winning a race and then seeing you being on the podium as well… she said I should try and I just said I will… which I totally won’t. I celebrate with who I want when I want!" he smiled at me.

"You’re giving her a heart attack one day…" I chuckled and he laid his head on my shoulder.

"Maybe I’ll do it in Jeddah, when we’re both back on the podium together…" he whispered and took my hand, intertwining our fingers "And now let’s try for a little power nap, I’m tired as hell…" he yawned and closed his eyes, snuggling into my side.

"You always turn into a little koala bear when you’re tired…" I giggled and I could see him smiling.

"That's why I’m your Charlie bear." he whispered and I smiled, looking out of the window. Saudi Arabia is ahead of us.

Race week 2 starts now.

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 13 is out - the longest chapter so far 🙈 soooorry! But a LOT is happening and I wanted to be as detailed as possible for one race weekend because from now on it’s never this fully described ever again. And sorry that it took so long, but writing with a broken hand wasn’t so easy 🫠

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made 😅).

[icallhimjoey]

I call him Joey, just to feel something

so there we go.

Joe Quinn fanfiction one shots (updated 4 setember 2024)

That Better? - lil angsty, lil fluffy Summary: It's hot. It's humid and hot. You're uncomfortable, sticky, sweaty, and you feel disgusting. However, Joe doesn't give a shit. Needs his cuddles to get his sleep, no matter how grumpy it makes the both of you feel. Wordcount: 1.5K

Boy Of My Dreams - lil angsty, lil fluffy Summary: You have one of those nightmares that you're not really able to shake, and then Joe turns up as the bad guy and you wake up in a weird state. It's okay though. Joey fixes it. Wordcount: 1.5K

Five More Minutes - fluff / lil sexy Summary: Muttering "five more minutes" after waking up is something most people do, but somewhere along the line, you and Joe have taken it to a whole 'nother level. Wordcount: 2.5K

Cotton Soft Touches Gentle Voices Smooth - fluff Summary: Joe's got some work to finish, but it's difficult when his girlfriend is all snuggled up on the sofa, looking like she's just about the most comfortable a person has ever been. Wordcount: 1.8K

Just A Man - fluff Summary: Joe witnesses someone flirt with you, and, listen, Joe can take a lot, okay? But an Italian bartender making his girl laugh from where he can hear it across the hotel pool is just a little too much, all right? Wordcount: 1.7K

What Else - hurt/comfort Summary: You come home after a long shift, and your feet hurt, and you've got balled up toilet paper in your underwear, and peole are so fucking rude, and Joe is so happy and you're not. Wordcount: 1.8K

I Want To Hold Your Hand - fluff, hurt/comfort Summary: Bookstore!Joe is back for another store visit, and he thinks he wants a lot of things, but really, when he finds you hiding in the breakroom all day, all he truly wants to do is hold your hand. Wordcount: 2.4K

Lost Moments To Keep - hurt/comfort Summary: Bookstore!Joe is leaving for work tomorrow and won't be able to visit the store for a while... but then you take a real bad tumble in the store and hurt your head, so how the fuck can he leave you now? Wordcount: 3K

Little Spoon Reversed - fluff Summary: Anne is grossed out after hearing people talk about being big spoon or little spoon, and Joe loves using it against her. When he asks you which one you are, you throw him a curve ball that makes his brain melt a bit. Wordcount: 2.1K

Not His Thing - hurt/comfort Summary: Joe and his friends go for a fun day out and visit a smash room together, lads on tour. You have the same plans, except yours ends up being not so fun when a shard of ceramics flies right into your face. Big whoops on Joe's part. Wordcount: 1.7K

More Than That - fluff Summary: You hadn't actually thought this through. Hadn't anticipated what it would actually be like to bring Joe, the guy who you had sex with and who tried to feed you pasta a lot, to your cousin's wedding. It's: not the best. But Joe is, so, thumbs up emoji. Wordcount: 2.6K

Funny Story, Actually - fluff Summary: You take the tube to a dinner with Joe's friends, and on your way, you run into your former boss. The one who you'd trusted with your life. The one who then went and slept with your ex-boyfriend. The one whose bag you then pissed into before meeting Joe in an empty tube lift. Wordcount: 1.8K

Drown In You - smut Summary: In the shower with Joe, words get spoken that hold nothing back. This is the cut scene, the one entirely jumped over, from part 5 of Reinvent Love, remastered in full HD for your enjoyment. Full smut, little plot (although, read Reinvent Love because it’ll help)! Wordcount: 1.8K

The Boy Is Mine - fluff Summary: Joe has work and cancels plans but, you know what, you can just come over and help him out, can’t you? It’s nerve-racking and embarrassing but, ok fine, you can come over and help him. Wordcount: 1.8K

Love Languages - fluff Summary: You and Joe try to figure out his and your love language. You're convinced you know his. But then again... do you? Wordcount: 2.2K

Still Love Me? - fluff, hurt/comfort Summary: The holiday prep is just a lot, okay? And you did something stupid and now, here you are, crying over something silly and in need of some extra affection. Good thing Joe's there. Wordcount: 1.7K

Sweet Dreams - fluff Summary: You can't sleep. Joe finds you, still wide awake, when he gets into bed and has just the trick to get you to doze off. Wordcount: 1.1K

Good Girl - 18+ Summary: Joe figures out you have an off-switch. Or, an on-switch. Depends from which angle you approach it. Would be nice if he didn't abuse his power, wouldn't it? Joe disagrees. Wordcount: 1.9K

Heartbeats All Chaos - fluff, hurt/comfort Summary: You suffer through our first panic attack with Joe in the room and whilst you are trying your best to remain calm and practice all your breathing techniques, Joe is freaking out. Wordcount: 2.1K

Girls' Night - fluff Summary: Wedding gang's back! Joe's best friend Poppy and you are starting to become better friends. Joe pretends he hates it, eye-roll, oh my god, you're so annoying, but secretly he loves it so much he can't even think about it without blushing. Wordcount: 3.4K

For You - fluff, hurt/comfort Summary: All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me. You never ask for shit, because you don't need any help, do you? Until, suddenly, um, yes you do, and Joe gets to fucking shine. Wordcount: 3.3K

Blind Bargain - fluff Summary: You and Joe are sneaking around and you're mortified people will find out, until your flatmate sort of does, and what if she hates you because you lied to her for ages? Joe saves the day. Wordcount: 3K

Touch - fluff Summary: Joe's all grumpy and grouchy and very irritable and so annoyed and, listen, his bones creak now. Shit, he's getting old. Good thing you've got magic hands with magic fingers that hold a magic touch. Wordcount: 2.1K

But, I Love You - angst, hurt no comfort Summary: You want an evening out with Joe. Your soft ruffled mismatched outfit Joe. But you get Joseph Quinn instead and when you voice this, it all kind of... goes to shit. Wordcount: 4.1K

Inside Out & Outside In - 18+ smut Summary: In this prequel to Ground Rules (see blow) you find out what really happened on that one night, where you felt all vulnerable, and Joe was there with soft eyes and kind touches. Wordcount: 4.9K

Ground Rules - angst, fluff Summary: You accidentally fall pregnant. It’s Joe’s, but you’re not together and… so, now what? Together you figure out a system that you have to keep convincing yourselves and everyone around you will actually work.  Wordcount: 4.8K

Mine - fluff Summary: Joe talks in his sleep. Seems kind of awake, but definitely isn't. That's... that's the story? Enjoy. Wordcount: 1K

Love You A Twelve - fluff Summary: Joe has some good news and some bad news. It starts with soft beard scratches on the sofa and ends with shaving foam kisses because Joe's cute and you're cute and, gosh, shut the fuck up don't even LOOK at me right now. Wordcount: 2.9K

Alla ricerca di Cenerentola - 18+ fluff, lil smut Summary: You meet Joe at a rooftop birthday party in Rome, Italy and Joe falls in love whilst you practically inhale a full charcuterie board. You're charming like that, we get it. But then you disappear... so, now what? Wordcount: 3.5K

Soothing Serenity - 18+ lots of TOUCH Summary: Joe just happens to be the type of boyfriend that relaxes after a long day at work by putting his hands on you. And who are you to deny him? Wordcount: 1.9K

Sticky Skies - fluff Summary: You move into a new flat and meet your very cute neighbour out on your balconies when you go for a cigarette. Quick 5-minute before bed smokes turn into long two-hour before bed conversations, and you're very cute as well, so Joe can't help but love you, obviously. Wordcount: 3.5K

Infinite Fizz - 18+ smut Summary: On your last day as a temp PA, there’s no more holding back. This is the cut scene, the one entirely jumped over, from part 5 of In 120 Hours, remastered in full HD for your enjoyment. Full smut, little plot (but read 120 hours, because it'll help). Wordcount: 3.7K

Easier In Greece - fluff Summary: Joe’s in an interesting stage of life when he’s offered an equally interesting project. You whisk him off to Greece and spend eight days together on a boat with high expectations of which none turn out to be true. Wordcount: 7.9K

Saturn’s Eyes - fluff Summary: On your first date with Joe, he suddenly has an idea. He needs to show you something back at his flat. It's not sketchy, he promises. Wordcount: 2K

What's Best For Me - angst, fluff Summary: Joe's in his head and is distant for a little while which quickly has you spiraling because clearly, this is all your fault isn't it? Wordcount: 2.3K 

Forty-seven Days - fluff Summary: You’ve not seen Joe for forty-seven days, and you think he’s coming back tomorrow but he lied and surprises you at your job a day early and he’s all hands and hips and mouth. Anne hates it. Wordcount: 1.1K

Soft Hands - fluff Summary: You come home from a night out at Halloween, absolutely plastered. Joe’s waited up for you and helps you into bed safely. Wordcount: 1.9K

His Glasses - 18+ smut Summary: Um, so, Joe wears his prescription glasses out of the bedroom for the first time. All aboard the struggle bus!  Wordcount: 1.3K

There You Go - 18+ smut Summary: You go to bed way before Joe does one night, and he finds you tossing and turning, unable to stop moving, having all sorts of dreams... and so Joe helps you out, wink wink nudge nudge. Wordcount: 1.1K

What Are You Wearing - fluff, hurt/comfort Summary: You have an awful day and then Joe wears and awful outfit and it's all wrong and why does a grown man not know how to fucking dress himself?! Wordcount: 1.9K

Promise Me Both Ways - 18+ smut, fluff, hurt/comfort Summary: You've asked Joe to be a little... rougher, than he usually is. And you fucking love it, until something goes wrong, and Joe freaks out. It's fine, you LOVE it, but Joe's not so sure... Wordcount: 1.8K

-> back to home ♥

[theodora3022]

Efforts

Genre: Yandere/Dark fic/Horror

Rollo Flamm x gender neutral Reader

Summary: As much as Rollo Flamm loves a challenge, he only has so much patience towards you, the object of his endless affection/obsession. 

Author’s Note:

This one is for all of  my friends (yeah you @187-mg) that love this freaky man. What can I say, those who claim to be the pious and holy, are often secretly the most perverted and repressed. This belongs to the same series as the Malleus “steal someone else’s partner”.  Not proof read!!! Be warned for my incoherent grammar!!!

Word count: 1.7k

Content Warnings: MENTIONS of starvation(willingly on reader's part) Canon divergence, mild nsfw, overall just awful*cough yandere content, Rollo is his own warning! 

Disclaimer: This is NOT healthy love and is MEANT to make you feel uncomfortable! 

By clicking the READ MORE you are assumed to have read the content warnings above.

Hard work produces results, no matter how distant one’s goal might seem. 

Rollo Flamm likes to think of himself as a man who applies that respectable rule in his everyday life. To him, being respectable is the basic condition for him to reach his goal. Of course, there is another rule: only strike at the right moment, which Rollo used to hold himself to, but he has failed on it recently.

The prefect of Night Raven College, who for sure has enchanted him with evil magic! Worse, they dare to claim to be a magicaless person? 

What urge, what dissatisfaction! These intense, sinful emotions have been preventing him from sleeping at night, making him lose focus during lectures and meetings. The burning desire is practically eating him up from the inside, in Rollo Flamm’s every waking and sleeping moment. In his eyes, you are the culprit of his suffering. Although you appear to be none the wiser, still greeting him with a smile and kind words. 

It was only later when he found out you had promised yourself to another, way before meeting him, that Rollo Flamm stilled his maddening heart rate for a bit. 

So, it has been your natural charm all along. Dangerous individuals like you cannot possibly be permitted to roam free in this continent. Not anymore now Rollo Flamm, the one who understood the legacy of the Great Judge the most, has a say in the matter. 

All of Night Raven’s students are losing their minds over the disappearance of their dear friend. Even Grim, who often acts nonchalant about your well being, is beside himself. Rollo Flamm offered the group almost unlimited access to Nobel Bell’s campus grounds; search parties were dispatched daily, only to return with little results. They are still grateful for the Student Council President’s support, as they should. 

Almost unlimited access, which does not include private quarters of Rollo Flamm. Not that anyone would dare, or bother to look there in the first place. 

You tried screaming, pouding the door for hours, but all it ever does is make you dehydrate faster. Convinced he placed a magic barrier over his living quarters, you ceased the fruitless labor. 

Grim must be so worried! What about others? Oh, and him… you cannot imagine the sadness he must be going through right now. Although you are trapped in this windowless room behind a bookshelf, your sense of time is not yet lost, being able to realize the passing of days by counting three meals per day. Those scrumptious meals went cold, untouched, and you only drank the water from the tap in the adjacent washroom knowing it was not as clean as the water in mugs on the trays, but you are not willing to give in an inch more than necessary . 

The stubbornness was endearing at first, so were your glares of hatred. Even though he is not accustomed to feeling such a way, he labels these bizarre feelings as ordinary. Rollo has read and heard about how when you are in love, everything the other person does will be filtered through a rosy stained glass.  But Council President Flamm worries for your health after a while, and he does not wish to force food down your throat(as for other things…that’s for later). 

The bell rang six times, and Rollo snapped out of his concentrated state, his mind wandered to what those on kitchen duties have to offer today. Maybe you would finally nibble on something today. A small blot of ink dripped off his quill due to its tiled state, and he had to suppress the urge to curse out loud. Knowing you are in the next room makes Rollo’s lips curl upwards, calming him,  and he does his best to finish up the bothersome task at hand so he could spend time with you. 

He had almost finished writing that Headmaster Crowley one out of many reassuring letters, about how he is doing anything in his power to help find the lost prefect of NRC. It is amazing how far a few words of praise and sweet lies can get with that crow. Sealing it with a wax seal, he tucks it away into his outing robe, to have it sent out first thing tomorrow morning. 

There you are, in that corner cot, back against the bed frame, all defensive hugging your knees close to your upper body. You never acknowledge Rollo when he comes in, set the silver tray on the nightstand; only shooting him angry glares when the tall man pushes you to have some of those tartiflette. 

“Still not willing to touch your food? This kind of pathetic act is beneath you, my love.” Sitting down on the other edge of the bed, Rollo scoops a spoon full and brings it to your lips. “How wonderful it smells, aren’t you famished? Just open.”  

My love? How dare he refer to you like that. This crooked being has no clue what love is. For the first time since the start of your captivity, you managed to make direct eye contact with him. “No, leave me alone!” Pushing the spoon away with much force, you panic a bit after noticing it gets knocked out of rollo’s slender fingers, producing a horrifying noise on floor tiles. Previously you dealt with similar situations with dead silence, and Rollo never insists too harshly, exiting with a sigh to leave you to your own devices in this makeshift prison.

But he is right. You do need food, and you are scared how good it smells, how dangerously close you were to opening your mouth to that spoonful of tartiflette just now. 

To think you would obey him. No, you will not give him that. Despite your logic telling you to accept the nourishment, you cling to what’s left of your autonomy like a drowning individual to a small wood chip floating on open seas. 

Seeing how you turned to face the wall again, the already shaky patience of Rollo Flamm leaves him all at once. Does he mean less than nothing to you? Do you hate him this much, to the point of hurting yourself to hurt him? Did that swine who you look to so longingly taught you this? Whatever it is, Rollo does not think he can suffer to see you in this state any longer. 

Before you get a grasp of what has transpired, Rollo is standing beside your end of the cot, towering you with his large form. Perhaps the reduced senses from hunger is to blame, you fail to realize how he always has his overly decorated staff with him when he comes to see you.

Rollo is done with humoring you, and you are making your best efforts to hide your fear of what he could do to you. He has not done anything despicable to you yet, other than denying your freedom, but you had enough time to analyze all those traces of his sickening fantasies he hides behind this constructed affable facade. 

You do not want to see what is underneath, not ever. But what you want does not matter to him now. “Still thinking about him? I am your master now, and I order you to forget about that damned person. Where do you think these acts of defiance will get you? Out of here?”

He exclaims while using the metal staff to lift your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes. There are unmasked flames of anger in Rollo’s eyes, where usual calmness and feigned friendliness have been. 

Coldness of the metal almost got a shiver out of you, you struggled to not let him have the satisfaction of getting your reaction. Screw you, Monsieur Flamm, you want to yell and slap the one in front of you, the selfish monster that took you away from your friends and loved one. However you are powerless against Rollo, and your senses are not as sharp as they were when you are fed and happy. 

Rollo Flamm’s heart clenches a bit when he sees tears circling in your eyes, and how much effort you are making to not let them fall. Crying, you should not be like this,you should be smiling with admiration at him. Yet you leave Rollo with no other option. You are making him act cruel with you, because you refuse to listen, to be good. 

The noise of the staff falling to the stone floor was similar to that of the spoon, it was the last thing you heard before he forced his hand on the back of your head, and covered your lips with his own. His lips are of feverish temperature, and the way he does it is too rough; practically hungrily devouring you while you are the one who went on days without food. Kissing is supposed to be a romantic gesture, shared by couples in love, in moments of intimacy. There was no romance in that kiss, at least not to you. What you do feel is Rollo Flame's strong sense of entitlement, the desire to have you all to himself, with a mixture of unknown frustration. You shut your eyes, not wanting to take in the visuals of what is happening. 

After what feels like eternity, he lets go of you. You are so focused on catching your breath…that you failed to notice how much the man is savoring the sight of you panting rapidly with flushed cheeks. 

Only he can see this sight. No one else. Thought of seeing this everyday puts Rollo in a state of frenzy, as if he is not in already when he “falls in love” with you. 

Grabbing your hand that attempts to wipe your mouth clean of traces of him, Rollo whispers threats into your ear the same way a lover whispers sweet nothings. 

“Listen now. You will open your mouth when I feed you, understand? You and I both know defiance will do you no good. If you are good, you can have anything you ever wanted. But you will have to obey.”

Pulling your frozen body into his arms, Rollo starts to plant tender pecks on your cheek, the tenderness you would expect from someone who claims to be head over heels for you. 

“I don’t wish to harm you in any way. Quit making things harder for the both of us. Accept me as your one and only, we will live happily together.” 

No, you will not. It does not matter. Your efforts are in vain, it was worthless from the start. Rollo Flamm has got the upper hand from the very beginning. As the helplessness of your situation finally dawned on you, you did not try to resist when the monster kissed your tears away. 

[amwife]

90% of these came to me before i went to sleep for my first day back at skl 😭😭 ill b posting some for every member but aj's the one i finished first 🌚

Aj -

1. Loves buying little gifts. He seems like he'd lowkey be scared of you leaving him so if you show interest in something he'd definitely have to get it for you. And if he sees a plushie he thinks you'd like? Best be making room on your bed for it. He'd get you a dumb t shirt or funny looking kids toy just because it reminded him of you. Or when he'd make you mad/upset he would go on to buy you tons of stuff to make up for it with a tiny real apology.

2. Lowkey a bad boyfriend. Something about Aj makes me think he isn't romantic with girls and doesn't know what the hell he's doing in the relationship aspect. He'd probably accidentally ghost you for a day because he spent it all playing games and when you call him super worried he'd be confused. Although he'd be great on valentines, he'd probably ask Chunkz a week before to see what he should do but then he'd end up winging it and having a great time with you.

3. You'd be his uber. He could be doing a challenge for a Beta squad video and call you to pick him up and just act like you were an uber to hide your relationship from his fans. Or if you were at his house he'd always ask you to take him to a shop to buy supplies for a video or just for food and stuff.

4. He'd LOVE your cooking or baking. Since he has said he doesn't know how to cook at all, if you did he would beg you to make food for him. If he finds out you were making something he'd come over to your home just to get some. He would try buy you all the ingredients if you said you didn't have any. And if he were mad at you and you made brownies or cookies or anything? He's over it and on his way to your house to get some food. "Babe, I'm sorry. I made brownies?" "I'll be there in 10."

5. Super protective. You're talking to another guy? Not without Aj wrapping himself around you. You wanna hangout with a guy by yourself? That's crazy talk. "Aj. He has a boyfriend!" "I'd tell you I were gay to get with you." He'd piss you off by talking to other girls if you ever made him mad on purpose. Literally so petty when it comes to jealousy, he'd always one up you but never take it far enough that it's cheating. If any guy ever hits on you, somebody would have to hold him back because he'd go feral.

6. It'd be a secret. He'd probably take a while to introduce you to his friends and family, taking extra long with his friends just incase. Definitely was scared you'd think his friends were better than him, but his fears died after the first couple times you met them. Plus he probably thought it was more fun as a secret and unsuccessfully tried to sneak out of the Beta house a couple times to see you, forgetting he's an adult and doesn't have to tell them what he's doing. He tried to be slick when texting you in front of his friends but they all knew he had a girlfriend probably the day he copped her.

7. Touchy. This man isn't touchy in kisses and hand holding way, this man is touchy in the way it's basically fucking. You've probably had people ask if you were okay since it looks like Aj was groping you in public. Always has a hand on your ass when you both are standing side by side, or has his hand a on your upper thigh. He'll never make you uncomfortable or touch you in public (unless you wanted to) but he just keeps his hands in places to show that the relationship is definitely more than friends between the both of you. It's either you let him hold your ass or the most touch you get is shoulders rubbing together.

8. Matching outfits. He'd think matching outfits was adorable and would love the idea of twinning with his girl. Even just matching hats or jewellery would make him happy. You could buy literal onesies and he'd wear it, despite him getting ganged up on by his friends. He definitely has screenshots of things he might wanna buy that could be matching for the both of you.

9. You cannot tell me this man is not a simp. He definitely doesn't act like it or really show it but he is down BAD. He'd act as if it was a highschool crush and couldn't be seen looking at you even if everyone already knew you both were dating. He probably even has another account on social media just to save edits and photos of the two of you without the posters knowing it was him.

10. Great fuck.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hey there!! I have to say thanks for doing my Shamura and cat reader ask!! It really did succeed my own expectations!But reading it gave me a few more…Lovely ideas!! Like…Let’s say Shamura,instead of realising the reader isn’t actually Narinder, just falls deeper into a spiral of what is left of their poor broken mind and becomes almost…Possessive of the reader,needing to be with them every waking and sleeping moment,and just becomes more and more crazed by the day until such concerning behaviour finally reaches their siblings and what they see when they reach Shamura domain….The now very much immortal reader in bishop clothes and Shamura who looks the most happy they’ve seen in quite some time…And just who are they to ruin their siblings,very much one-side,happiness!! Sorry if I dragged this own too much I just have too many ideas that didn’t know which one to go with!! If This is too much then pls feel free to ignore this ask.Have a great day/night!!

"I think we have a problem.."

“Oh, what could it possibly be this time, brother? Is it truly another problem or just you overreacting again?”

“No I--I’m not, sister! It’s about Shamura.”

“Kallamar, we already know. It’s been tough helping them cope. I understand. But if they need help they’d come to us.”

“Yes of course, but..the way they’ve been coping as of late is troubling. They seem fixated on this one follower. It’s been getting worse by the day..I never see the two apart anymore.”

“Huh..maybe they were chosen as an aid?” Heket suggested, confused on what her brother meant by those words.

“No, no..nothing like that. It’s..It’s like they have this deep obsession with them and they’ve turned them into something they’re.....” Kallamar paused, before sighing wearily as he rubbed his hands together. “It’s better if you two see it for yourselves. I worry this is interfering with their Bishop duties.”

“So you’re saying Shamura is incompetent?” Leshy huffed.

“..let us go. Now.”

Although perplexed, the two Bishops decided that maybe it’s worth visiting Silk Cradle. Just to see what was happening to the wisest of them.

Of course, Shamura had taken Narinder’s betrayal the hardest. But even then they tried to resume their usual duties with war and wisdom within the Old Faith--though if Kallamar was that concerned with their capabilities then..the others ought to check up on them.

All at once they warped to the entrance of the purplish temple, immediately stumbling upon a rather unusual and surprising sight inside:

Shamura was fawning over you, a simple black cat follower dressed in bishop garb; a thin dark veil and a faux crown woven from silk were also on you, making you resemble someone all-too-familiar to them..

Neither of you had noticed the Bishops’ arrival, as your leader was giving you a tour of their domain, falsely believing you lost your memories after being “sealed away” for so long.

The problem was that you knew Silk Cradle like the back of your paw; you’ve been to this temple dozens of times for sermons.

At first you were wildly uncomfortable, regretting ever putting yourself in this position: pretending to be someone you’re not for Shamura’s sanity. Part of you wished you could’ve told them the truth of who you were, yet you’d feel eternally guilty for doing so.

That guilt only grew after they vowed to be at your side every waking (and sleeping) moment, sharing knowledge of Death with you and even turning you immortal through a forbidden ritual. 

This wasn’t an obsession that could be curbed.

Any follower who tried telling Shamura you’re not actually him would be killed on the spot, frightening everyone else into keeping up the illusion--even your friends.

Only now Leshy and Heket realized how serious of a problem this was.

Kallamar had every right to be frightened for their eldest sibling.

“By the Great Ones..” The frog whispered. “I knew their mind was torn but..this is going too far. This is borderline delusional! I can’t believe they would even---” Her shocked gaze quickly hardened, and she turned back to the two bishops behind her. “We need to shut this down. Right now.”

“How?”

“Tell them to stop playing pretend with a follower. It’s almost insulting to see someone so disposable masquerading as a false god...our heretic brother, of all people.”

“I-It’s not pretend, I’m afraid..” Kallamar remarked. “They genuinely think this follower is Narinder.”

“But they aren’t! They never will be! We’ll get rid of the problem and order a new doctrine: No black cats in the Old Faith-”

“Wait, wait. Sorry for speaking out of turn, sister, but...I sense Shamura is..happy with this.” Leshy told her, putting a hand to his chest. “I can feel it. This may be doing them more harm than good, I agree. But look at their face for me..and tell me what you see.”

Heket scowled at the bushworm, although when she stared at Shamura for some time, she noticed the big smile on their face.

A true one that none of them have seen in ages. 

“They seem..happy. But..we can’t have this. Kallamar said it’s-”

“W-Well, maybe I did overreact a little bit after all.” The squid chuckled nervously. “I mean, when’s the last time we saw them smile at all? Or even come out of their cave? Would it..be right to destroy what little happiness they regained?”

Heket fell silent as she looked to Leshy, surprised to see his nod of agreement. “Brother, this is-”

“I know. But maybe..we can play along. Just for a little while until we’re confident in helping them move on. Right now it’s just too soon.”

As much as she wanted to rip off the bandaid already, she found herself extremely hesitant to march over there.

Things were already bad enough. Why add to it?

Eventually, Shamura took notice of their presence and smiled, picking you up and bringing you over to them. “Welcome, brothers and sister. We are reunited once more..four becomes five once again.” They grinned. “All is right in the world.”

“Shamura..” Heket began, but she sighed in defeat upon looking at you and seeing the resemblance to Narinder. Her heart stung like a bee. ‘Damn you...’

“We’re so glad to be together again!” Kallamar exclaimed joyfully. “So this Fol--little kitty is Narinder reborn, huh?” He almost tensed up at his mistake, though thankfully Shamura didn’t notice and he calmed down. “Fascinating. I-I know..your rituals of resurrection were heresy but..we forgive you, brother.”

“Uh..thank you?” You answered timidly. Seeing all the Bishops gathered here would be terrifying for any Follower--but you were a special case. Yet you couldn’t help being afraid.

Now you had no choice. You couldn’t break the illusion even if you wanted to.

“I’m uh..sorry about your injuries.” You looked to Leshy, who simply bowed his head in understanding. “I didn’t mean to lose control.”

“It’s not your fault..you had every right to lash out at us.” Shamura whispered, hugging you close. “We deserved this.”

Heket scowled at them in fury, although the nudge from Kallamar made her stay silent as she glanced over at the temple door. She could barely look at you, but you just kept your gaze upon your jovial leader.

It seems these Bishops you revered were closer than you thought.

[winters-mistress]

goodnight moon

"Here." Geralt says, passing Ciri a cup of water. The girl with red cheeks takes it greatfully, gulping down the cool drink, feeling it drip down the corners of her mouth and slide down her chin. Geralt grins at her, ruffling the messy hair that's fallen out of her braid, that honestly isn't a braid anymore. There's maybe a quarter of what once was when she and Yennefer had started that morning, and she looks all the more comfortable to be wild in the rugged turrain.

"You, Princess, are a sight to behold." Jaskier says, lolloping over with his lute in hand, the strings still echoing after his jump down a tree he had been dozing in that afternoon. "A true witcher Princess if I've ever seen one. Your story will he sung for decades."

"Don't sing, bard." Yennefer says as she glides over the twigs towards their little camp. "You'll allert a beast with your warbling."

Jaskier splutters. "Ah! How rude, my dear, if anything I will sedate a striga before it rips the witcher's chest to shreds. My dear Amelie always said I had the most soothing voice." He finishes with a flair, strumming his strings to make his point.

Yennefer scoffs, reaching close to the fire to pour herself a brisk cup of tea with the last of the hot water. Geralt keeps his eye on her as her hand goes near Cirilla, although in truth he knows he has nothing to fear. If Yennefer had her magic, then perhaps, but that part of her is just as empty and hollow as it was that afternoon in Nenneke's temple. The mage is a mage no more, simply a tutor to the child and under his brisk observation. Very, very brisk observation.

As the afternoon draws to a close, he and Ciri practice forms before they go skulking off into the frozen forest to see what they can scrounge for supper. They probably won't have more than a couple slim boars or winter berries, but anything is better than the snakes they had made a thin soup out of a couple days ago. Jaskier had vomited, and Ciri still cringes at the memory of the sour, bitter taste.

Their dinner is thin, only a couple of birds is all either of them had the energy to slay. Geralt is exhausted from the whole debacle of keeping his girl safe from Yennefer at all times, let alone thinking if ways to keep them all safe from Cirilla's threats and missionaries. And Ciri knows better than to push him when he's set on something, so she follows his lead and swallows her pride and does what he says.

Their dinner is meager, their sleep is disturbed by an east wind, and they wake the next morning cold and slightly covered in a dusting of snow. The foursome quietly pack up their belongings, an uneasy silence between them, as Gerand and Jaskier finish tending the horses and Yennefer and Cirilla finish rolling the bedrolls and packing the bags.

"What's it like?" Ciri's voice is quiet, she's cold and exhausted and just wants to rest, just wants some peace. But she needs answers to, ones that Geralt had always been too close to her to ask.

"What's what like?" Yennefer's voice is just as frigid as the cold air around them.

"Being a mage with no power." Ciri's voice cuts the air like a blade. Yennefer freezes. "I didn't let you kill me, so your demon deal didn't work. You slitting your wrists in Kaer Morhen didn't work. You just bled out until Vesemir stitched you up. You mutter elder speech but nothing happens, so you're still hollow of power. What's it like?"

Yennefer doesn't respond, she hopes that Ciri will let it go, but those piercing emerald eyes barely even blink as she waits for her answer. She shifts uncomfortably, the only person other than her to have archived that was Tissaia.

"Hard." She begins. "I envy you. So much it hurts, to feel the magic pulsing around you, it's an aura. I wish so badly for magic, to regain what I deserve. But trying that only made me a villain, and lost me you and Geralt. An old friend once told me that what is lost, is lost. And that we must forge a way forward without it. So that's what I must do. Teaching you, it's the only way I can think to move ahead in this life. But other than that, I don't know how."

Ciri is quiet for a moment. "I hated you when I found out what you were going to do to me. Hated how you betrayed and manipulated me. I don't think I'll ever forgive you for that, I don't think I can forgive anybody that betrays me. It's exhausting having it happen again, and again, and again. Everybody either wants to use me or wants me dead. So it's always going to be between us, what you did. To me and him." she nods at the witcher, who is staring at them with big golden eyes. "But although I will never forgive, or forget, it's useless you trying to teach me if I'm resentful and closed off. So, I'll try to move forward, but I cannot forget, Yennefer. No matter what you do or how you do it, even if you kill every army who wants me blood, take the head of everybody coming for me, even if you take down the wraiths, it'll always be there."

"I understand." Yennefer's voice is dry. "And I'm sorry."

"I know you are." Ciri stands with her things in her arms and walks towards her steed. Yennefer watches her go.

"Come on, Yennefer. We must make haste if we're ever going to have warmth in our bones again." Jaskier huffs, walking towards the woman as she stands there staring at the girl.

"I'm coming, bard."