#and “brother in jail” subplot

[unavailable-fan]

Well To begin with I think it's important to not fight the silliness when watching Bucchigiri?! it's essential to enjoy this show i guess, cause if you try to find deep and clearly stated moral lesson in every detail of it, you will be just disappointed, especially while it's still airing, because that's like not the point These characters are not model heroes with high ideals and immense willpower, they're like the opposite, they're all silly and weird in their own ways, all with flaws (and yes, even Matakara, we're just not covering his problems yet) and their interactions are just as unhinged, which makes sense, and that's cool. It makes everything interesting because there's no clear moral compass to follow yet, and some stuff just happens, but that's the comedy of it, and beauty too. That feels fresh, and of course it's not for everyone, but fighting this show's intrinsic silliness and randomness just leads to less enjoyment from it all, and it's pointless. If you want to enjoy it embrace the silliness and watch it like a bunch of seagulls fighting with tourists for junk, or like bugs living their lives under the rocks, or something. It's an open end question and all the marks will be defined randomly in this media interpretation class, enjoy the liberating feeling of knowing that author probably wanted to tell you something but realizing you have literally no idea what it was or having all 100 ideas being somehow a valid answer. Or watch it any other way, but like, don't let predefined ideas of how things should be take away from your enjoyment.

[sweet-honey-fruit]

The Tearsmith is the worst movie I had ever experienced. It was psychological torture. It was the trashiest movie I had ever watched. If you watch it and go “yeah everything in there was okay and it was a good movie” I will actively question:

1. Your tastes in media. I will never, ever take recommendations from you, ever.

2. Your moral and ethical compass. Cause what. The. Fuck. Are you doing thinking all of that was okay.

Imagine my surprise, after an hour and thirty minutes of going “what the fuck”, “ew ew EW EW”, and “people dont talk like that”, I go and see people enjoyed it. “They have sooo much chemistry” bitch the only chemistry going on is the spoonful of arsenic i took digesting in my stomach after watching that shit show.

“It’s such an interesting concept” interesting in the way it deserves jail time, and you do too if you like that. If you’re into two people who are going through an adoption messing around with one another, who are actively stated as “brother and sister” by the characters? Youre gross. Sorry not sorry.

“Oh but he didnt go through with the adoption, it was only a trial period-“ shut the fuck up. It’s still weird as hell. They are STILL labeled and called “brother and sister” throughout the film. They are fooling around while still being adopted into the house. It’s not “interesting” it’s not “fun” it’s gross.

Also what the fuck was up with that weird gay subplot?

“I love you”

“Fuck you”

And that was it. It was never brought back up. It was never resolved. It brought nothing to the actual plot.

Take a shot every time the word “wolf” is said. You’ll blackout not even halfway through.

[skamenglishsubs]

Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 2, Episode 6

Final episode, and we're picking up the morning right after last episode. The curtains are still closed though, good for them!

Subtext: The something Simon needs to take care of is of course the situationship with Marcus.

Subtext: Real subtle music choice there, show. This is where August decides to solve the problem of Simon going to the police in his own twisted ways.

Lost in translation: August meekly asked for some changes to the speech last episode, whereas Wilhelm just changed it without asking for permission. Here's what it says, with his changes: Hillerska 120 years Your Majesty, dear mom. And dear Hillis. It's an honour to be standing here today speaking to you - not only as Crown Prince, but as your classmate. Hillerska welcomed me during a very difficult but meaningful time in my life. (He's scratched out "Eders" at the top, which is an archaic way of saying and spelling "ers", which in turn is a special version of the plural second person possessive pronoun "er", which is only used in a formal address like this.)

Lost in translation: The second cue card has more changes: Hillerska isn't just the place where we are taught to be good citizens so that in the future we can shoulder the responsibilities that has been imposed on us. It is also a home. Hillerska became a home to me, just like it was for my dear mother, and my brother before me... and for many of you. You have become family. The school motto is "take responsibility for your legacy" "feel your responsibility for the legacy", be proud of your history, pass on the traditions to the next generation.

Cinematography: The show normally only uses these fourth wall breaks to bookend each season, but all occasions have been when Wilhelm has been making a public speech or felt observed. Here he's practising a public speech, and the show uses the fourth wall break to really bring home this point.

Culture: The show says that this scene takes place just a couple of days after the Valentine's ball, which puts us in the middle of February. But we can tell by the blooming cherry tree in the background that this scene was actually shot in mid April. This is absolutely not what February looks like in the Stockholm area in Sweden, which made me super confused about the timeline.

Subtext: It absolutely is about Wilhelm, but Marcus got it completely wrong anyway, Simon doesn't like Wilhelm because he is a prince, he likes him despite him being a prince. Oh, and it's a nice touch to separate them physically with an electric fence, to really show their distance.

Subtext: No, the person who feels like a victim here is actually Marcus. He doesn't fit in with the rich kids at the school, and now he thinks that they "stole" Simon away from him. Whatever, who cares, he has served his narrative purpose, byyyeeeeee!

Subtext: Loyalty is a huge theme in this episode, so we start this cursed subplot with a nice long opening shot of the motto of the Forest Ridge house, to remind us of how important loyalty is to the upper classes.

Subtext: Everyone tries to manipulate Wilhelm by invoking his dead brother, of course August does the same.

Subtext: So why does Alexander side with August? Wilhelm actually treated Alexander like shit, he threw him under the bus to protect Simon last season, and he feigned ignorance in the first episode of this season when Alexander came back to school, which means the Forest Ridge oath doesn't mean much to him. Alexander feels completely betrayed, because Wilhelm should have been loyal to his house brothers. August on the other hand promises him loyalty. If Alexander takes the blame, then the future king of Sweden, August, will owe him a huge personal favour, and that's just worth a lot more to him and his family than the minor inconvenience of a criminal trial. He's got money, and the full backing of the royal court, he's never gonna go to jail, jail is for poor people!

Subtext: ...like Simon, and his unemployed substance-abusing dad. Simon would not be treated gently by the justice system for dealing drugs, Wilhelm can't really intervene on his behalf, and the royal court wants Simon gone, so they won't help out either, which is why August's threat is very, very real.

Subtext: August has constantly been trying to impose upper-class values on Wilhelm, all the way since season 1, and that includes all the lies and secrets and cover-ups. He truly believes rug-sweeping is the best way of handling the situation, and can't really understand why Wilhelm won't play the game like the rest of them do.

Subtext: We know that Wilhelm's love language is touch, so August touching him is a violation that he reacts very strongly to, punching his arm away.

Culture: Clay pigeon shooting or trap shooting started evolving as a sport over 150 years ago, when upper class shooting clubs realized what a bother it was having to collect a ton of live pigeons when a gentleman simply wanted to practice hunting for a bit, so they developed cheaper clay targets instead. The birds are made out of an easily breakable hard clay, and the launcher is controlled with a foot pedal. The shotgun is loaded with birdshot, which is pretty harmless for humans at long range.

Subtext: A nice little throwback to S1E1, when August told Wilhelm that they could get away with anything, including murder.

Blink and you miss it: August glances at Sara, so Detective Felice quickly figures out that it was her before she admits it.

Blink and you miss it: Simon is actually smiling and enjoying seeing August humiliated by Wilhelm.

Subtext: Also a throwback to season 1, when Sara gave Simon shit for "always wanting to give people a second chance". Now she's doing the exact same thing, and August is ironically just as unworthy of it as Sara and Simon's dad was.

Subtext: Another theme this season has been about people protecting themselves, while claiming to protect others, so here's Sara accusing August of doing exactly that.

Lost in translation: Simon says "Snälla, jag orkar inte", which can't be directly translated, because English is missing the incredibly useful Scandinavian verb orka. It means having the physical or mental strength or stamina or energy to do something. When it's negated like here, it can range in meaning from not having enough stamina to run a long race, or not having enough strength to lift something heavy, or not being able to eat more food, or not wanting to deal with a person, or not having the energy to handle a stressful situation. If you no longer orkar something, you're done, you're finished, you're too tired, you're too weak, you've had enough.

Subtext: Again, Wilhelm's love language is touch, so he's trying to comfort Simon the only way he knows.

Culture: Kaggeholms Slott, the main shooting location for the show was built in the early 1700's, so this is some kind of detail from the earliest years of the main building.

Blink and you miss it: Simon hasn't eaten a single clementine this season because Rosh has been hogging all of them!!!

Culture: Linda's tag says "Sjuksköterska" - nurse, so she obviously works in healthcare. She's also wearing scrubs, so she must have taken off directly from work to accompany Simon to the police. Also note that being a regular nurse in Sweden is a pretty low status job because you'll just be a grunt worker at some hospital or care home, so this fits the social class of the Eriksson family.

Cinematography: I think this is the last amount of colour Simon has ever worn, signalling that he's not feeling himself, he's completely defeated.

Subtext: Damn, I got hungry just looking at this food. What's going on here is that the school is hosting the royal family and treating them to a nice private fancy dinner, and they've even got their own china monogrammed with the school logo. By the bottle we can also tell that Wilhelm is being served alcohol, it's a cider from Danish Somersby. And from the background dialogue, we also learn that both his parents went to Hillerska at the same time, where they presumably met.

Subtext: If it's so important to be able to talk about your emotions, why is your son so bad at it? It couldn't be the case that he learned to suppress his feelings instead from his parents, right?

Subtext: Oh look, it's the theme of the episode yet again! In Forest Ridge the loyalty is explicit in the house motto, and it's of course a big part of the girls' house as well.

Subtext: Well that's a big fat lie, the most obvious secret is the one Stella is harbouring, but they're all keeping lots of little secrets from each other. Good thing Sara learned to keep her mouth shut at least so as not to out Stella.

Subtext: Colour theory for the show tells us that red symbolizes the love between Wilhelm and Simon, and here Wilhelm is deciding between his love for Simon, or fulfilling his royal duty. Since he's currently facing away from the red light, and looking at Erik's old cigarette case, he's leaning towards duty.

Subtext: Colour theory is in full swing over at Simon's place as well, him and Ayub are having a late night videochat about Simon having to decide between his love for Wilhelm or his principles. However, his lava lamp turns red just as the scene ends, showing us what his final decision is.

Blink and you miss it: Sara cleaned out her room and left the Manor House, but she left behind the riding pants the other girls gave her for her birthday.

Culture: If you've read my post on royal names and titles, you know that Ludvig ought to be a prince, and ought to be styled "His Royal Highness", so I'm not sure why he's consistently being referred to as Duke Ludvig in this season. Oh, and if the reigning monarch is a king, he and his queen are styled "Your Majesties" together. But if the reigning monarch is a queen, only she is styled "Your Majesty", while her husband is styled "Your Royal Highness", because blatant sexism.

Subtext: August really thought he'd be their equal for this event, but he's always being put in place and shown he is less than.

Cinematography: Spot the character who really doesn't want to be in this photo shoot!

Subtext: Back in season 1 when August said he knew everyone's name, he wasn't joking, he actually does remember people's names!

Oh, and there's a little lost in translation here as well. August says "Tack för senast", which is a ubiquitous Scandinavian politeness phrase which means "Thanks for last time". You're supposed to use this every time you talk to someone after having gone to some event together, and especially if it was something that the other person hosted and invited you to.

Blink and you miss it: Nils and Vincent are hilariously taking the absolute piss out of August for enjoying standing in the receiving line for the jubilee.

Subtext: Easy there, Don Corleone! August simply overpaid for the horse, thinking Sara would love him for yet another material thing, but what she really wanted him to do was to change and come clean about the sex tape. The horse isn't gonna sway her from leaving him.

Cinematography: As I was taking screencaps for this post, I stumbled on this scene showing Sara leaving Hillerska, but my only question is who the hell that dude is? Why is he in the shot? Why is he there? Is he an extra who is supposed to be there, or is he a random person who was just happening to wait for the real world bus right here right now? It doesn't make any sense in universe, because every goddamn adult in the vicinity is busy with the jubilee thing. Why is this guy not attending? WHO IS HE? I NEED ANSWERS!

Subtext: Through the magic of literary analysis our couple grew closer and came to understand one another better, so Simon chose to compromise his principles out of love for Wilhelm. Oh, and there totally is another way, but it requires Wilhelm to compromise his duty...

Culture: I've already gushed about how good the costuming is on this show, because Wilhelm is wearing an impeccably tailored school uniform that fits him perfectly, while Simon is wearing an ill-fitting second hand uniform. You can tell because Wilhelm's uniform is showing the correct amount of shirt sleeve outside his jacket, between one and two centimetres, while Simon's jacket is completely covering his shirt sleeves.

Subtext: This piece of perfect poetic cinema is of course a mirror to the ending of season 1 when Wilhelm tells Simon that he loves him. This time, Simon says it back for the first time.

Cinematography: I know it's a coat room and not a closet, but close enough, and when Jan-Olof tries to hurry Wilhelm along and get him to stop talking to Simon, Wilhelm responds by literally coming out of the closetcoat room, foreshadowing the end of the episode.

Subtext: Literally as the next speaker, figuratively as the next crown prince.

Subtext: Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no! Sara hasn't talked to Simon since the shooting range scene, so she doesn't know why Simon never reported August, or that August threatened to take revenge by reporting where the drugs originally came from. I guess we need to setup some season 3 drama?

Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm appears to change his mind at the exact moment the principal says "replace".

Subtext: We've seen Wilhelm struggle all season with his duty, and not being able to put on a public persona, but in this moment it's on full blast, and a look that tells August to sit the fuck down again, because this is his job, he's not gonna be replaced any time soon.

Subtext: This is one of the lines that Wilhelm added to his speech, and it's the complete opposite of what he thought of Hillerska in the very first episode, where he saw it as some kind of punishment to have to live there for three years.

Subtext: Oh look, the tradition theme™! Let's just kick it, stab it, and drown it, while the cameras are rolling!

Cinematography: Cue the camera panning to the people experiencing said mass panic.

Subtext: The MVP of the season, Boris my man, enjoying the fruits of his labour. The unsung hero we all deserved! I bet though he's been secretly plotting the downfall of the monarchy this entire time!

Subtext: Just like this song played at the end of episode 4, showing what Wilhelm was feeling, this time it shows what Simon is feeling for Wilhelm. It's also a nice parallel to season 1, where the Revolution song was used in both episode 4 and 6.

Subtext: The lyrics are a bit on the nose like most of this season, but Simon said the he loved Wilhelm, and in return Wilhelm shows Simon that he loves him, by coming out, and not keeping their relationship a secret any longer, which was the main conflict of the entire season.

Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm is always comparing himself to his brother and trying to live up to his memory, so after making this choice, he quickly glances skywards as if to check in with him. Yeah, you're alright kid. Erik would be so very proud of you. I'm not crying, you're crying! Damn allergies! I swear, this goddamn show. 😭😭😭

Cinematography: Finally we book-end this season as well with Wilhelm breaking the fourth wall and staring at us. But this time we see a hint of a smile as he's doing it, because this time is the first time he's really in control of his life, doing what he wants, and not just doing what he's told or what he's expected to do.

[icy-watch]

Well, that was certainly an ending to a season.

I can tell what inspired the Hageman Brothers for the ending of Rise of the Titans (2021). It’s pretty much the same ending beat for beat.

I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.

I really don't have too many thoughts on the finale, it's mostly just "at least this was the ending to the season, and not an entire series". Was it the best? No. Was it the worst? No. Just meh.

Had I seen this 2 or 3 years ago, I might have felt differently, but RotT really did a number on me. (If you haven't seen any of the Tales of Arcadia series, please consider yourself lucky. It started off very well but ended Badly.)

I'm glad the the sky pirates turned out to be pretty ok in the end. I really grew to actually like them. I'm going to be sad if they don't show up again.

And Echo! Oh, gosh Echo. Sweet baby boy. I loved the little bit of time we got with him. I hope he comes back again.

I haven't looked to see what the next season will be called yet, but I'm hoping we learn more about the previous Elemental Masters. We've been getting a little bit here and there, but it feel like there's more to their story than we've been told so far.

Tomorrow, I'll be watching the Day of the Departed, and maybe the Wu's Teas shorts, if I can find those. Until tomorrow!

@ninjamelissajulien

Below the cut are the predictions I got right and wrong.

Correct

The ninja will be caught at some point by the po-po. And get thrown in a jail cell with one bed.

Nadakhan will pick them off one by one.

The wedding is inevitable. It sure was something.

Mutiny from the crew. Better late than never.

Jay will recruit Echo Zane to help him rescue everyone. He did and he got more friends.

I'm going to cry bc of the wedding thing and everything surrounding that. I cry at things very easily, so this wasn't really a surprise on my end.

Incorrect

Cole will get cured of being a ghost this season. He sure didn't.

Pixal will get a new body. RIP queen.

Nadakhan is going to use Wu to draw out the ninja and make them retrieve the Realm Crystal. This is such a great AU idea.

Going The Mummy (1959 & 1999) route to raise a loved one from the dead -- to bring back Delara. She was brought back via wish, not an entire sacrificial ceremony.

Nadakhan will be trapped in the sword once he's defeated. *disappointed noises*

Flintlocke had a thing for Delara. I'm actually surprised that this wasn't a little subplot. It actually felt like something they would have done.

Jay will be forced to help piece Djinjago together. There were other plans.

Cole, Nya, and Lloyd are going to spend the whole episode planning on how to save Jay. The used that time to try to leave the island. I completely forgot that was something they needed to do in order to even start planning for a rescue mission.

Ronin will help in the rescue mission for Jay. He really didn't.

Jay knowing the ins and outs of the Keep will help them navigate their rescue mission. Yeah. He did all that cleaning for nothing.

Flintlocke swiped the poison and the dart from Clancee. Clancee told Jay where he hid it.

Partially

No one from the Cursed Realm will come back. Sort of? Clouse wasn't in the Cursed Realm when it collapsed, but he was a resident there for a while.

They won't lock Misako up. The didn't even get a chance to finish questioning her before she was kidnapped by Nadakhan.

Kai will be needed to collect the Tiger Widow Venom, and without him the team will struggle. They did struggle without him, but I'm not sure how much help he would have been given the circumstances.

We're going to learn how Jay lost his eye. Sort of? But not really.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Bezzle excerpt (Part IV)

I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in SALT LAKE CITY (Feb 21, Weller Book Works) and TOMORROW in SAN DIEGO (Feb 22, Mysterious Galaxy). After that, it's LA, Seattle, Portland, Phoenix and more!

This week marks the publication of my latest novel, The Bezzle, and to celebrate, I'm serializing an excerpt from Chapter 14 in six parts:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

The Bezzle is a revenge story, a crime novel, and a technothriller. It stars Martin Hench, a hard-fighting forensic accountant who specializes in unwinding high-tech scams. Hench made his debt in last year's Red Team Blues (now in paperback!); The Bezzle is a standalone followup:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865854/redteamblues

The serial tells the tale of Stefon Magner, AKA Steve Soul, a once-famous R&B frontman whose disintegrating career turned to tragedy when his crooked manager forged his signature on a rights assignment contract that let him steal all of Stefon's royalties, which ballooned after modern hiphop artists discovered his grooves and started buying licenses to sample them. The first three installments related the sad circumstances of Stefon's life, and the real-world analogues (like Leonard Cohen and George Clinton, both of whom were pauperized by sticky-fingered managers) as well as one real-world countermeasure, copyright termination, a thing that more artists should know about and use:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/26/take-it-back/

Today's installment weaves in a major subplot for the first time in the serial: Los Angeles's notorious, murderous Sheriff's Deputy gangs. These are another unbelievable true tale: for decades, the LASD's deputies have formed themselves into criminal gangs, some of which require that initiates murder someone to be inducted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LASD_deputy_gangs

They sport gang tattoos, have secret signs, and run vast criminal enterprises. This has been the subject of numerous investigative press reports, and one extensive official report that called the gangs "a cancer":

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/deputy-gangs-cancer-los-angeles-county-sheriffs-department-scathing-re-rcna73367

The sordid tales of the LASD gangs beggar belief. For example, deputies in charge of LA County jails forced inmates to pit-fight and took bets on the outcomes:

https://www.aclu.org/publications/report-cruel-and-usual-punishment-how-savage-gang-deputies-controls-la-county-jails

The taxpayers of LA have shelled out tens of millions of dollars to settle claims against LA's criminals with badges:

https://news.yahoo.com/deputies-accused-being-secret-societies-230851807.html

Periodically, LA judges and officials will insist that they are tackling the problem:

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-05-17/dozens-of-lasd-deputies-ordered-to-show-suspected-gang-tattoos-reveal-others-who-have-them

But at every turn, the LA police "unions" manage to crush these investigations:

https://abc7.com/los-angeles-county-lasd-deputy-gangs-cliques/13492081/

And top cops are right there with them, insisting that these aren't "gangs" – they're just "subgroups":

https://lapublicpress.org/2024/01/former-la-sheriff-villanueva-sheriffs-gangs-are-just-subgroups/

It's very weird being an Angeleno and knowing that one of the largest, most militarized, best funded police departments in the world has been openly captured by a hyperviolent crime syndicate. When I was in the Skyboat Media studios last December with Wil Wheaton recording the audiobook for The Bezzle, Wil broke off from reading to say, "You know, someone's going to read this and google it and have their mind blown when they discover that it's real":

https://sowl.co/8nyGh

That's one of my favorite ways to turn literature into something more than entertainment. It's why I filled the Little Brother books with real-world surveillance, cryptography and security tech, giving enough detail to advance the plot and give readers an idea of what search terms would let them understand and use the concepts in the novel. That's something I'm happy to keep up with the Hench novels, unpicking the inner workings of scams and corruption. The more of us who are wise to this, the sooner we'll be able to get rid of it.

Here's part one of the serial:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/17/the-steve-soul-caper/#lead-singer-disease

Part two:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/19/crad-kilodney-was-an-outlier/#copyright-termination

Part three:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/20/fore/#lawyer-up

And now, onto part four!

The last of the boxes had been shelved.

Benedetto rose from his chair. “Thank you, gentlemen,” he said to the movers, and dug a roll of twenties out of his pocket and handed each of them two of their own. He turned to me as they filed out. “You wanna get sushi? The place next door is great.”

The empty storefront was in a down-­at-­heels strip mall in Eagle Rock. On one side, there was a Brazilian jujitsu studio that never seemed to have any students training in it. On the other side was Sushi Jiro, name on a faded sign with half its lightbulbs gone. Beyond that was a vaping store.

“The place next door is good?”

He laughed. “You San Francisco motherfuckers got terrible LA restaurant radar. Put Sushi Jiro in the Mission and it’d have a Michelin star and a six-­month waiting list. Here it’s in a strip mall and only the locals know how good it is. Bet you never had a decent meal in this town, am I right?”

“I’ve had a few,” I said, “but I admit my track record isn’t great.”

“Let’s improve it.”

The sushi was amazing.

#

Inglewood Jams had the kind of books that were performatively bad, designed to foil any attempt at human comprehension.

But whoever cooked them was an amateur, someone who mistook complexity for obfuscation. Like cross-­referencing was a species of transcendentally esoteric sorcery. I don’t mind cross-referencing. It’s meditative, like playing solitaire. I had Bene­detto send over some colored post-­it tabs and a big photocopier with an automatic feeder and I started making piles.

One night, I worked later than I planned. Sushi Jiro was becoming a serious hazard to my waistline and my sleep-­debt, because when your dinner break is ten yards and two doors away from your desk, it’s just too damned easy to get back to work after dinner.

That night, I’d fallen into a cross-­referencing reverie, and before I knew it, it was 2 a.m., my lower back was groaning, and my eyes were stinging.

I straightened, groaned, and slid my laptop into my bag. I found my keys and unlocked the door. The storefront was covered with brown butcher’s paper, but it didn’t go all the way to the edge. I had just a moment to sleepily note that there was some movement visible through the crack in the paper over the glass door when it came flying back toward me, bouncing off my toe, mostly, and my nose, a little. I put my one hand to my face as I instinctively threw myself into the door to close it again.

I was too late and too tired. A strong shoulder on the other side of the doorframe pushed it open and I stumbled back, and then the guy was on me, the door sighing shut behind him on its gas lift as he bore me to the ground and straddled my chest, a move he undertook with the ease of much practice. He pinned my arms under his knees and then gave me a couple of hard hits, one to the jaw, one to the nose.

My lip and nose were bleeding freely and my head was ringing from the hits and from getting smacked into the carpet tiles over concrete when I went down backward. I struggled—­to free my arms, to buck off my attacker, to focus on him.

He was a beefy white guy in his late fifties, with watery dark eyes and a patchy shave that showed gray mixed in with his dark stubble. As he raised his fist for another blow, I saw that he was wearing a big class ring. A minute later, that ring opened my cheek, just under the orbit of my eye.

Apart from some involuntary animal grunts, I hadn’t made a sound. Now I did. “Ow!” I shouted. “Shit!” I shouted. “Stop!” I shouted.

He split my lip again. I bucked hard but I couldn’t budge him. He had a double chin, a gut, and he was strong, and used that bulk to back up his strength. It was like trying to free myself from under a boulder. That kept punching me in the face.

The strip mall would be deserted. Everything was closed, even the vaping store.

Shouting wouldn’t help. I did it anyway. He shut my mouth for me with a left. I gagged on blood.

He took a break from punching me in the face, then. I think he was tired. His chest heaved, and he wiped sweat off his lip with the back of his hand, leaving behind a streaky mustache of my blood.

He contemplated me, weighing me up. I thought maybe he was trying to decide if I had any fight left in me, or perhaps whether I had any valuables he could help himself to.

He cleared his throat and looked at me again. “Goddammit, I messed your face up so bad I can’t tell for sure. I hope to fuck that you’re Martin Hench, though.”

Even with my addled wits, this was an important piece of intelligence: he came here for me. This wasn’t a random act of senseless Los Angeles street violence. This was aimed at me.

I was briefly angry at Benedetto for not warning me that Chuy Flores was such a tough son of a bitch. Then I had the presence of mind to lie.

“I don’t know who the fuck this Mark Hendricks is.” My voice was thick with gargled blood, but I was proud of Mark Hendricks. Pretty fast thinking for a guy with a probable concussion. The guy slapped me open-­handed across the face, and as I lay dazed for a moment, he shifted, reached into my back pocket for my wallet, and yanked it—­and the seat of my pants—­free. Before I could react, his knees were back on my biceps, pinning my arms and shoulders. It was a very neat move, and fast for an old guy like him.

He flipped my wallet open and squinted at it, then held it at arm’s length, then smiled broadly. He had bleach-­white teeth, a row of perfectly uniform caps. Los fucking Angeles, where even the thugs have a million-­dollar smile.

“Shoulda sprung for botox,” I slurred.

His grin got wider. “Maybe someday I will. Got these in trade from a cosmetic dentist I did some work for.” He dropped my wallet. “Listen, Martin Hench, you stay the fuck away from Thames Estuary and Lawrence Coleman.”

“It’s Lionel Coleman,” I said.

“What the fuck ever,” he said. He labored to his feet. I stayed still. He looked at me from a great height, and I stared up his nostrils. Without warning, he kicked my ribs hard enough that I heard one of them crack.

“You’ve been told,” he said to my writhing body, and let himself out.

ETA: Here's part five!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#poacher-turned-keeper

[theloganator101]

One thing I've just thought of about the latest leaks (things might change when the official leaks drop) - but pre release what I have seen in the art showing Toga and Ochaco as kids. Uraraka thinks of when she was a child cheering on Eelboy (who Ocha liked and who I think was one of Toga's victims during the War Arc) only to turn away from him to see and focus on crying Toga. I think that's quite symbolic and it implies nothing nice.

I can't help but read this as Uraraka here is quite literally switching her focus from Toga's victims to the "child Toga that is crying." Like Ocha now values Toga's pain over the pain that Toga had caused her victims - how Hori wrote this angers me!

Would you want someone with that mentality as a hero? "Oh a villain cried to me that they personally went through some things to make them the way they are so now you (the victim of that villain) don't matter." * - In Toga's case yes she deserves sympathy but she also deserves jail time, proper mental help and quirk counseling which she didn't get before.

(*Izuku has this problem with Shig too but we don't get a scene with him literally looking away from Crust, One of Shig's victims in the war, to focus on crying baby Shig which doesn't makes it quite so blatant or anger inspiring as the baby Toga and Ochaco scene.)

There needs to be a balance between sympathy for the villains and what happened to them as well as the fact that they committed terrorism and murdered people which they feel no remorse for!

TLDR - Hori fails at writing the balance between having sympathy for and holding his main villains (Shig, Toga and Dabi) accountable through our main heroes (Izu, Ocha and Shoto.) It's understandable that Shoto would struggle more with this as Dabi is his brother but Ocha and Izu shouldn't struggle so much with holding their villain counterparts accountable.

What are your thoughts? I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet and im interested to hear your opinion.

So I had to go out and search for the latest chapter to see it for myself and... I can see where you're coming from with this.

At first glance, yeah it does kind of come across that way. To me it kind of feels more like Ochako noticing her in the crowd and want her to smile too.

Still doesn't excuse the bullshit that is this whole love triangle subplot!

I've said before that at this point Toga has no sympathy from me, along with the others villains because as said AND stated before, they killed thousands of people with no remorse and we're expected to forgive them.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for the trope of villains realizing what they did was wrong and trying to make up for whatever they did. But like you said there needs to be a balance between making them sympathetic and holding them accountable for that they did.

But here it's all done poorly, because Hori is so focused on making his worst characters look better and making a beeline to the next major plot point that the story doesn't have any breathing time for any of that to occur.

Hori needs to just send them to prison for life where they can't hurt anyone anymore while getting the help they were denied, because letting them go free is just NOT going to cut it.

[cantsayidont]

October 1943. While the fate of Golden Age Batman characters caught between the demimonde and respectable society was typically regeneration or death, regeneration was possible, particularly in stories published in the period between 1940 and 1945. The most dramatic example was Two-Face, who, as most Batman fans are aware, was a handsome district attorney whose face was scarred by acid. (His real name in his three earliest appearances was Harvey Kent rather than Harvey Dent.) In his third appearance in DETECTIVE COMICS #80, after being jailed several times for his crimes, Two-Face comes to his senses after accidentally shooting his former fiancée Gilda (who fortunately survives), turns himself in, and helps Batman apprehend the other members of his gang. Then:

Dr. Ekhart, a famous "European specialist," had been mentioned in Two-Face's first appearance in DETECTIVE COMICS #66 as one who might be able to repair Harvey's face, but Harvey and Batman had found that Ekhart had been sent to a concentration camp by the Nazis while visiting his brother in Germany before the war. While Ekhart is never shown on-panel, the subplot about his imprisonment and escape ties Two-Face's story to the war, and to wartime hopes of a better world after the physical and moral scars have healed.

This regeneration lasted a surprisingly long time in the comic book. Harvey appeared next in a 1948 story in BATMAN #50, which confirmed that he and Gilda had married and he had eventually returned to the practice of law. There were several false Two-Faces (including Paul Sloane, an actor scarred by a romantic rival while filming a TV reenactment of Harvey's transformation in a 1951 story in BATMAN #68), but it wasn't until an explosion in a 1954 story in BATMAN #81 undid his plastic surgery that Harvey resumed his Two-Face identity. Although the latter story was definitely part of Earth-1 continuity, E. Nelson Bridwell apparently felt strongly that the Golden Age Harvey never returned to crime, which is why Bridwell showed an unscarred Harvey Kent at the 1955 wedding of the Earth-2 Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle in the "Mr. & Mrs. Superman" story in THE SUPERMAN FAMILY #211:

I think Bridwell had a point, honestly.

[urdearestmom]

alright y'all I've recovered enough from vol 2 that I can now articulate my thoughts somewhat. here we go! I really want season 5 immediately but unfortunately cannot have that :( I will say that I think Stranger Things' episode Nines are just,,,, amazing. nothing so far has come close to my love for s2e9 except for s4e9. I think they're tied

ngl I was mildly concerned they were going to attempt some kind of redemption with Brenner so I was pleasantly excited when he continued to be as evil as he ever was :) El finally standing up to him and realizing she's not the monster, he is, was AMAZING and I loved how she just said bye and walked away. left him to die on his own as he deserved! Owens is still a shady guy but he's always on the gang's side (I'm just curious what happened to him? like did Sullivan have him killed? arrested? will we see him next season? I'm nearly certain we'll see Sullivan again because I don't think that subplot will be so easily resolved)

as for the rest of it, Eddie's death panned out pretty much exactly how I thought it would so I never let myself get too attached to him. what got me was Dustin's reaction! Gaten did so amazingly in that scene wow. Jason also died which was great for me because he was just insane at that point and while I kinda felt for him he was also annoying. sorry not sorry

Jopper finally getting together was lovely. I've never been overly invested in them bc they are so canon in my mind that I never doubted it would happen but it was great nonetheless. Hopper reuniting with El had me smiling so hard at the end bc for a sec I genuinely thought it was Sullivan coming to kidnap El and that was how the season would end and then it was just good ol' Hop :) El having a family like she deserves is my favourite thing!! Hopper and Mike also hugging caught me off guard bc I didn't think they'd do it but they did and I hope that leads to them having a better relationship!

now El getting picked up in the desert and blowing up that helicopter? TOP. TIER. I had my arms up cheering "HERE COME THE PIZZA BOYS!!!!!!!" and when you could see Mike getting out of the van being the first one to run to her, all in slow motion, my god. I was speechless. their whole reunion was gorgeous. El's disbelief, the forehead touch: chefs kiss. El hugging Will like that? best. I live for El having a family. El's brothers ftw

Mike's long-awaited monologue: WHAT. I was shaking and on the edge of my seat the whole scene. It will absolutely live in my head rent free for the rest of all time. I can barely even process it. He really said he's loved her since the moment he saw her I can't believe it. It's what I've been waiting for since I was 16 years old and it still feels surreal that he really told her all of that in words. Mike Wheeler, King of Not Talking About Any Of His Feelings Ever, really said all of that. Wow. Finn knocked that completely out of the park

Lastly, Max's death? HOLY SHIT. That one tore me up I was sobbing and yelling at my tv. I really love Max and didn't want her to die even though I had a feeling something else was still going to happen to her. THE FACT THAT THEY USED THE SONG FROM FINDING WILL'S BODY IN S1- JAIL FOR 1000 YEARS. Her dying in Lucas' arms and his reaction really got me. Both Caleb and Sadie did phenomenal work this season and made me love Lumax a lot more than I did before. Lumax OUTSOLD!!!! Max's little drawing and the fact that they won't get to go on their date and the way Lucas was sitting in the hospital with his beat up face reading her a book... I'm in shambles

El being there watching it happen while no one knew she was there was also heartbreaking

Mildly concerning that El couldn't find Max's mind in the void though, even if she is in a coma. El can find and even vaguely communicate with Terry who is in a vegetative state, so I'm not sure what I think will happen with Max next season. Guess we'll have to wait and see!

That ending too. Vecna's not dead obviously and Hawkins is... yikes. The cliffhanger makes it seem like season 5 will pick up where 4 leaves off and I am very excited to have a resolution!

This isn't even all I could say but I don't want this post to get super long so I'm just touching on the stuff that stuck with me

[capsrecedinghairline]

Teen Titans Judas Contract: a bad summary by me

spoilers, obv

- I was actually specifically warned not to watch this one so here we gooooooo

- the teen titans just driving at a crisp 45mph with the top down, like imagine pulling up alongside them at a light

- think clean thoughts, chum

- (he does not)

- Five years later, Dick chaperones his little brother’s field trip; he still is not thinking clean thoughts

- maybe one day someone will write a version of Beast Boy that doesn’t annoy me. But today is not that day.

- [8 minutes of basic exposition on every character’s personal problems]

- oof the Brother Blood cult stuff hitting too hard for the exvangelical kids

- Comic Book Science Occurs. idk how that machine works or why.

- these villains are such fucking theatre kids, meeting in the cemetery and stepping dramatically out of the shadows motherfucker you’re not that cool

- at any given moment Dick and Kori are one innuendo away from making this movie R-rated

- side note I am absolutely back on my dickori bullshit

- I think teen titans HR needs to send beast boy to a sexual harassment seminar

- Deathstroke shares the secret to his super toned pecs, and mocks a preteen

- oh no a super unpredictable plot twist

- Blue Beetle gets an erection in a homeless shelter

- OH OKAY I THINK THIS IS WHY I WAS TOLD NOT TO WATCH THIS ONE

- WOW JFC THAT SURE IS A CHILD IN PINK LINGERIE.

- JAIL. JAIL FOR THE DCAU.

- my apologies to beast boy, you are NOT the problem.

- aaaaaaaaand moving swiftly back to the dickori subplot as if That didn’t just Happen.

- Happy Montage.

- damian sweetie if you turn Slade into a shish kebab I promise I won’t tell your dad

- Slade is genuinely disgusting in this

- I have no one but myself to blame, I was fucking warned.

- Terra kisses a frog but at least it’s a frog her own age

- Where’s Kevin?

- okay not to victim-blame but it should NOT have been that easy to capture the titans

- yeah Dick won’t be getting his security deposit back

- ya can’t win a dick swingin’ contest against a Richard!

- Damian diagnoses Terra

- Terra did you pierce your ears like in the last 20 minutes

- very confused about why brother blood specifically needed the titans for this

- Ominous chanting

- i respect the no killing rule, batboys, i do, but just this once PLEASE I am BEGGING I promise I won’t tell your dad

- Brother Blood could have picked any heroes for this… like, he could’ve picked Superman. Martian Manhunter. Anyone. Did he even get any abilities from using Robin?

- OH YEAH GO OFF TERRA ROCK HIS SHIT GIRL

- (hah. rock.)

- GO OFF RAVEN ROCK HIS SHIT

-

- Well. I was warned.

- oh there’s Kevin

- my turn to warn people I guess

[watchmakermori]

thoughts on stranger things 4

okay so I finally finished those marathon final two episodes and I have a lot of thoughts on the series as a whole. I’ll be spoiling everything so consider this a warning

on the whole, i still think this is the best season since the first one, even if these last two episodes had a lot of shit that annoyed me. something I do really appreicate is that the end of this season doesn’t just reset things back to the same cutesy basics. season 5 is the final one and the end of this season feels like it’s actually gearing up for the climax, which is good

I said after volume one of season 4 that hopper being alive wasn’t justified, and I still believe that now. the hopper subplot added nothing to this season. I did have a vague hope that the russia storyline would tie into the main one, but it didn’t - or at least, not well enough to make it worthwhile. they introduced the whole ‘killing the russian demogorgons to weaken vecna’ shit really late on, and I honestly don’t think it tracks with the canon from previous seasons. yes, everything in the Upside Down is part of a hive mind, but it’s never been the case that killing one demogorgon harms the others. it seemed to have a top-down effect, wherein hurting the mind flayer hurt all the underlings it was controlling - it was never the case that hurting demodogs and demogorgons hurt the mind flayer. so it just felt like an asspull to try and give the russian storyline more weight. it didn’t work. this season was already crammed to the brim with unnecessary characters and I honestly believe they could’ve scrapped the russia plot without changing the main beats of the season at all

I am so fucking pissed about how they treated will this season. will’s character has more potential than most of the cast, but they continually shaft him and push him into the background. I hoped this season would actually address his sexuality, and I guess it did, sort of. but it did it in the most cumbersome, graceless way possible. will all but comes out to mike in 4x08, talking about he feels different and like a mistake, and they use his emotional outburst to hype up the relationship between mike and el. i can’t even put into words how shitty that is. i was dreading will confessing love to mike and being relegated to Sad Gay With A Crush On Het Friend Jail, but this was somehow even worse than that. will’s feelings never get enough space in the narrative as it is. the fact that they used them to prop up a het relationship makes me want to snort glass

the missed potential is unreal to me. you have a character who was dragged into a supernatural dimension at a young age, and this trauma is something that he cannot talk about because nobody can understand what he went through. he feels like an anomaly and a freak. the closeted metaphor literally writes itself and the fact that the duffer brothers have never used will’s supernatural trauma to explore his personal trauma around his sexuality is utterly baffling to me. i might turn into the joker, actually

I wish every season didn’t have to end with the same psychic boss battle. I think the reason everyone went so fucking hogwild for the ‘running up that hill’ scene is because it’s one of the only moments post-season one that actually shows us something genuinely new. before that scene, every single monster in the show has been overcome by superpowers or other means of brute force. seeing max triumph over vecna via emotional strength, as a manifestation of getting past her inner trauma, was fresh and different and brilliant. that scene is easily the best part of this season, which is why it’s disappointing to see max get chucked back into another confrontation and get saved, surprise surprise, by eleven’s psychic powers this time. it was cool the first time el blew up an eldritch monster with her mind, but after four seasons...I don’t know. I wish vecna could have been vanquished by something more creative than molotov cocktails and psychic assault

on a similar note, I’m in two minds about max surviving. on the one hand, it would’ve been a real downer for her to die after already going through so much. on the other hand, her death would’ve actually raised the stakes and shown me that the writers have the balls to make unexpected narrative choices. the moment where max cries and says that she doesn’t want to die was the only part of the episode that actually twisted my gut. it was the only part where I thought “holy shit, surely they wouldn’t”. and, of course, they didn’t. giving us yet another fake-out death, hot on the heels of hopper’s in season 3, feels cheap. but it will depend on how they handle max’s arc in the next season. she’s still in a bad way, so if the cost is big enough, I think they could get away with it

sadie sink is the highlight of this season and I won’t be taking criticism on that. I've always been lukewarm towards max and never felt they utilised her enough, so I’m glad they finally did something good with her character

vecna would’ve been more interesting if henry hadn’t been such a blatant demon child. the final episode tries to pull off some parallels between eleven and vecna/henry/one, but it falls flat, because there really isn’t enough nuance to henry. he’s presented as inherently evil, some screwed up kid who was obsessed with spiders and killed his family before brenner even got his hands on him. i think he’d have been much more interesting if his evil stemmed more from how brenner had treated him. perhaps he could’ve still killed his family, but unintentionally. perhaps brenner could’ve isolated him and fed his worst instincts, just like he did with eleven, except that she had the fortune to escape. given how el’s arc in this series is about her fear of her own violence, letting her face off against someone more similar to herself, who did become the weapon brenner wanted him to be, would’ve been more satisfying.

the final episode did not need to be two and a half fucking hours. dragging things out doesn’t create more drama, it kills it. it’s hilarious to me that steve, nancy, and robin were basically being choked by vecna’s vines for like 20 minutes straight and somehow didn’t die. they probably could’ve got the whole episode under 2 hours if they’d just trimmed out some of the relentless slow-mo moments

yes i will watch the final season. yes I am very glad that there’s only one more. duffer brothers if you don’t give will a storyline in the final season i will eat you alive myself

[brekker-by-brekkerr]

(Anon with the question about why the lab kids were killed) don’t feel pressured to answer if you don’t feel like it! I’ve just been seeing a lot of gif sets of Kali recently, which has reminded me how much I wish the gifted kids storyline was developed and followed rather than the Russians subplot.

Just answered it but I'm not sure how helpful my answer was 😅

Aaand the page refreshed and deleted everything I had just written out in response to this ask so now I'm sad but i will try to remember everything I originally wrote.

Yes! I completely agree! The Russia plotline was just not that interesting to me. I kept finding myself bored or wanting to skip through it. The only part I really liked was Hopper's jail cell conversation with Enzo. I had a lot of problems with Hopper's character last season, so it was nice to see him being redeemed. But the rest of the subplot felt so unnecessary. Even their role in vol. 2 felt so loosely attached to the story, like if they took it out the writers could have still made the ending work with little changes.

It's frustrating that we spent all this time galavanting through Russia on a plotline that could have been at the very least way shorter while the gifted kids plotline was condensed into all of them being one dimensional bullies with the same powers who died, tying everything up in a neat bow. I wonder if after the backlash to Kali's character and episode, the writers were scared to touch any of the gifted kid stuff and now they're just washing their hands of it all before the final season so they don't have to worry about it.

The thing is, we could have still had the gifted kid storyline, Kali wouldn't have to be ignored, and Henry still could have been sent to the Upside Down. In the Stranger Things comics, some of the kids escape the lab, and Brenner decides to kill off the rest of the kids because they're too hard to control and he wants to focus all their efforts and attention on Eleven because she's the strongest. This isn't the strongest story idea ever but it at least gave a reason for El being the only kid left in the lab without retconning Kali. It seems they wanted to make Brenner less evil in the show, which is fine because they could have integrated this plotline with the S4 plotline of Henry being the one to kill the kids. If all of them had different powers, it would make more sense why Henry would single Eleven out. Not only would she have been the most powerful, but she has similar abilities to his. Then he might have killed off the rest of the kids in the same logic as comic book Brenner, because they would be too hard to control and wouldn't be necessary. Everything could play out the same as in the show, with the kids being killed and El sending One to the Upside Down, setting up El as the last lab kid without retconning Kali. I know the writers don't want to introduce new characters in season 5, which I completely agree with and think is a great decision, but if they had gone with this storyline they could have at least implied that there were other gifted kids out there trying to live their lives. This could have even set up a spin off show if they wanted (I know they're planning a spin off right now and it obviously won't be about this, but it could have been interesting. But maybe we'll at least get a Kali spin off to make up for her mistreatment in the show).

And just imagine how good it would have been if instead of making them bullies, all the lab kids were like siblings (remember that Eleven and Kali fully see themselves as sisters). Realising that your family was brutally murdered by the person who was supposed to be like your older brother? And that the trauma was so great you blocked it out of your mind? That's some heavy stuff. That would have been interesting. It also explains why El didn't remember Kali, which is so so sad because if you think about it El probably remembers spending her whole life alone in the lab when it actually used to be a place where she had family.

The lab kid thing was what most drew me to this show when I first started watching it, and it's been one of the most interesting parts. Ever since the introduction of Kali I've been waiting for more, and to see it reduced (and Kali's character possibly retconned) makes me frustrated with the show, especially when you look at how much effort and time they put into the Russia plotline that had barely any relevance to the main storyline.

[kimberlyannharts]

LAST TIME ON MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: Zordon had a bit of an existential crisis and we learned a little bit more on why Drakkon became such a bitch.  But no time for that now!  Tommy’s about to be executed for crimes against the fascist state.  MMPR #16!

- Drakkon just standing there while Billy techno-splains all of this is very funny to me.  My brother in Christ just stab him

- GEEEEEEEET DUNKED ON

- the MMPRs get connected to the Triceratops coin and get their true colors back through [waves hands] and beat the Goldar clones but most importantly: MORE BLACK DRAGON ARMOR TRINI

- there you go again pitting two bad bitches against each other 

- screaming and crying in “why did this subplot get abandoned” flavor.  Like damn Kyle really did more for Goldar’s character than......anything else in the MMPR book afterwards 

- SCREAMING AND CRYING IN “TOMMY THAT’S GAY AS HELL” FLAVOR HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Tommy sez: go to therapy

- for real though this scene is.  Very important for Drakkon and Tommy’s characters and I’ll be referencing it a lot, both when we get to Shattered Grid and when we get to Drakkon’s usage in the Omega book.  There WILL be yelling.

- SHUT THE UFCK UPPPPPPPPPPP I LOVE THEM

- SITTING HERE SCREECHING

- (i’ll be petty and admit though i’m still disappointed there was no Tommy/Kim reunion.  That’s okay though because next arc starts the JUICY STUFF)

- i want to take every individual panel here and frame them HIM REUNITING WITH HIS MOMMMGMGMMM HIM HELPING JASON WITH KARATEEEEEEE BILLY WITH HIS NEWFOUND CONFIDENCE (that comes with stopping a fascist dictator that killed your alternate-universe self)

- I’ll admit I’m still not entirely sure how Drakkon got transported to the prime world (I think it had something to do with using the chaos energy, which he still was connected to?) but it’s worth it for gay baby jail time

[shadow-assassin-blix]

A Picture is a Poem Without Words

Chapter 16

A/n: its been a hectic few weeks, I had planned for this to come out sooner but life uhhh got in the way. But here she be.  Warnings: mentions of a panic attack/hyperventilating, minor character(s) death, The subplot thickens Next chapter is going to be the party scene and ooh... it gonna be dramatic.

“Speak” ‘Thoughts’ and “Spanish”

Taglist:  @yungkvte  @mcrmarvelloki  @realm-of-azrael and @shootingthroughthesky0905  @mikeisthricedeceased ​

The next few weeks after Escobar’s demise was a whirlwind. The secret deal between Cali and the American Embassy was solidified. The Cali get six months of uninterrupted production and sale of cocaine, and in return turn themselves in for a small amount of jail time.

Blix was currently going through reports that Cynthia & Robbie had been sending before they strangely loss contact with them five days ago. Blix was trying to find any clues to see if they had discovered something they shouldn’t have or were trying to speak in code. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary and yet the radio silence was so sudden it was causing concerns.

She was finishing up the last report when her phone went off.

“Hello?” She answered with a small sigh.

“Hello my love. How are you doing?” Came Pacho’s voice in response.

A smile crept onto her face, before she spoke, “I am well. Tired and concerned, but I am okay. What do you need handsome?”

“Gilberto…has a strange request. Do you happen to know where we could get some subtle recording devices?” Pacho asked.

“I know of such equipment and can very easily grab some. Why do we need them is my current question?” Blix inquired, suspicion lacing her voice.

“There are a couple of our members…who… we suspect will not be okay with our deal and will want to betray us. We want the recordings to prove our suspicions. They are high ranking members, which is why we are trying to do this low key, without alarming them or anyone else. We want the devices planted the night of the party when we announce the deal,” Pacho explained to her.

“Alright. How many do we need? And who’s going to be planting them because it can’t be me. I don’t need anyone suspecting me just because of my occupation,” Blix noted as she closed the file she had been working on.

“Four please. You should know… the Salvador’s are among this group. I want you to be seen front & centered, by my side or near the brothers or Chepe. I don’t think they’ve quite recovered from you putting them in their place and I don’t want you to wind up alone with them nearby,” Pacho explained further. “I know you can take care of yourself and can handle anything thrown your way, but I would like it if you would just keep yourself safe. I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks at the party.”

Blix was silent for a moment, considering his words.

“I will try and make sure I am with those we trust, and not be alone too often. I cannot guarantee that honey, you can’t keep me safe from everything,” Blix spoke softly.

“I’ll accept that,” Pacho replied. “So, how goes your search for your two missing underlings? Any progress?”

“No. Nothing so far. I am trying to not worry, but it’s not like them to go silent like this without warning. I don’t really know what to do. I’m not about to send more of my team out to try and find them. I don’t wanna risk their safety. However, I also don’t want to just sit here and twiddle my thumbs. I don’t know…” Blix rambled slightly, running a hand through her hair.

“You sound stressed. Come home, and I’ll help you relax,” Pacho suggested in a low tone.

Blix giggled softly at his tone, before responding, “Okay. I’ll be home in a bit.”

Blix placed her files in her cabinets, before walking toward the elevators. As she passed the DEA offices she overheard an intern say that Javier would be returning in the next week or so. Blix winced slightly at the thought of his return, mostly due to the fact that it meant she had to be extra careful to not get on his radar. Though part of her also knew that he would try to have the conversation they’ve been avoiding about what they are to each other.

Blix sighed, shaking her head, as she stepped out of headquarters. Before she went home, she made a stop at one of her hideouts, where she kept surplus equipment. She grabbed four recorders, and blank tapes moving through the large penthouse with ease. No one knew about this place, not even the Cali.

She looked over at one of the walls by chance and stopped short. There were a couple of framed photos on the wall, but the one that caught her eye was the one in the center. It was a photo of her, Horacio, and Javier. They had done a training exercise that day, and Javier had pushed her into a large pool of mud. While the two of them laughed, she had gotten up and threw mud at them in retaliation.  

The three of them wound up absolutely disgusting and a lieutenant took a photo of the three of them. She smiled softly at the photo, glancing at another photo next to it, that featured her and Javier dancing.

She softly bit her lip at the memories that surrounded this photo and shook her head. ‘We had our chance. No point in dwelling.’

After that thought, Blix simply picked up the equipment she came for and left the apartment before she got lost in memories that would only cause her pain.

She got home about 30 minutes later, laying out the recorders on the table for Salcedo to take. She walked upstairs to find Pacho and Diego in the large jacuzzi tub, bubbles everywhere.

“Is this what you meant by relaxing?” Blix teased him as she took in the sight.

“Partly, yes. Get your cute butt in here and find out what else I have in store,” Pacho tempted her with a smirk.

She shook her head, walking away instead with a smile. She stepped into the bedroom, wanting to take a moment and remove her makeup, and change into comfier clothes. She had changed into a pair of cotton shorts and an Aerosmith t-shirt when one of the guards walked in holding a phone.

He quietly stated it was for Pacho, before handing it to her. Blix nodded in response, before taking it to him.

Pacho answered, chilling in the bubbles with no care in the world. Diego got up out of the tub for a moment, strutting over to a table that had mixed drinks and a glass of bourbon. He handed her the glass, before setting the mixed drinks on the marble counter that surrounded the tub. Blix took a small sip, vaguely listening to Pacho speak.

Blix sets the drink down, to spend a moment idly playing with the bubbles, as she sat on the edge of the tub. It was as she did this that Pacho finished his call and looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes that she did not notice.

She moved to stand back up, but as she did, Pacho made his move. He grabbed her around the waist, dragging her into the tub with a laugh.

Blix screamed slightly, not expecting it. She closed her eyes, wrinkling her nose, as the water soaked through her clothes.

She opened her eyes after a moment, playfully glaring at Pacho, who leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

“So glad you could join us,” Pacho teased her, with a smirk.

“Jerk,” Blix said with a shake of her head, dragging her now wet clothes off of her body.

She wrung the clothes out before tossing them into the laundry basket that was near the door. Pacho pulled her towards him once she was nude, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She rolled her eyes as she noticed Diego was snickering on the opposite side of the tub. She splashed some water his way with her hand in retaliation.

Pacho pressed a couple of kisses to her shoulders and neck, humming softly.

“You are far too tense my shark. You are supposed to be relaxing, remember?” Pacho murmured against her skin after a moment.

Blix sighed heavily, trying to relax, but worries prevented her.

“I can hear you thinking. I know you are concerned about your coworkers, but there is nothing you can do at this point. Stressing out over things that you cannot control is not good for you. They’ll turn up. Besides didn’t you say the other day, that the ambassador would send out a team in Peru to check on them?” At her soft nod, he continued. “Let the ambassador worry about them for now. Focus on your team that is here.”

“…Okay,” Blix said quietly.

Diego looked at her softly, with a head tilt, before biting back a smile as he threw a handful of bubbles at Blix. She blinked rapidly at the tickling situation that was on her, wiping the bubbles away with a look of confusion. As she realized what happened, she gave him an ‘oh really’ look before she scooped up a handful and threw it into his face in retaliation.

“Oh, it’s on sweetness,” Diego declared, preparing to toss some more at her.

“That is my cue to leave, I think,” Pacho said as he tried to escape the tub.

Blix and Diego shared a look, nodding at each other, before they aimed their ammo at Pacho making sure to get bubbles all over his face and hair. The two of them made sure he couldn’t escape by sitting on either side of him.

“You know, I think he would look very attractive with a bubble beard, what do you think Diego?” Blix asked with a chuckle.

“I agree, Blix. Do we want it to be Santa Clause styled or goatee styled?” Diego asked trying not to laugh as Pacho rolled his eyes.

“Children. I’m surrounded by children,” He grumbled softly, shaking his head.

Blix pressed a kiss to his cheek in response. Pacho turned his head to her, wanting to kiss her on the lips; the both of them ignoring the tickling sensation against their faces that was created from the bubbles. He pulled away to give Diego a similar kiss before Diego stepped out saying he needed to get ready for something.

Pacho kissed Blix again, passion growing as he cupped her face with his hands. The kiss lasted several minutes, the two of them getting lost in one another.

When they finally pulled away from one another, Blix smiled softly at him, before resting her head against his shoulder. Pacho gently ran his hand up and down her back, in a soothing manner.

“I heard Javier will be returning soon,” Blix mentioned after a moment of silence.

“Oh? Is that so? Is that why you’re so troubled, sweetheart?” Pacho questioned, looking down at her.

“Partially. I know that when he returns, it means he’ll have his eyes set on you and the others. I don’t know what worries me more… Him wanting to talk about our previous relationship and rekindling it, or him finding out about us. I… I don’t know… I don’t know what to do…” Blix blabbered slightly, biting her lip harshly.

“Well. First question is: do you want to rekindle things with him?” Pacho asked somewhat curtly.

She was silent for a moment before answering, “If you had asked me that when our relationship first began… I probably would’ve said yes. Now… you’re all I want. Complications and all.”

Pacho smirked at that, “Then I hope you know, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you off his radar. I will keep you safe.”

“That’s sweet of you to say. But I chose this, I will accept whatever consequences that will follow. Well…that is if he figures out I’m working with y’all,” Blix stated looking him in the eyes.

Pacho leaned down again to press a firm kiss to her lips, “Let’s move this elsewhere, yeah?”

The two of them got out of the tub, drying off haphazardly, before moving to his bedroom to enjoy some alone time.

Pacho’s POV

Pacho looked down at Blix’s sleeping form, pressing a soft kiss to her exposed back, pulling the sheets up to cover her more.

He stood from the bed, tossing on a pair of boxers, before heading downstairs to see Gilberto waiting.

“Hello Pacho, what’s going on?” Gilberto asked, wondering why Pacho called him a little while ago.

“Well. Our Lady came through with the recording devices. Salcedo has prepped them for our little mission. She also mentioned our old friend from the DEA is returning to Cali,” Pacho informed him.

“Good. And that’s to be expected, we will deal with him as needed. Though you could’ve told me all of this over the phone. Why did you call me here?” Gilberto inquired, looking at him curiously.

“Blix. Though she is prepared for any consequences if he finds out about us, I would rather she not pay the price for being in a relationship with me. We did technically blackmail her into this life. I want to ensure that the DEA never touches her. Or finds out about her,” Pacho explained after a moment.

“Is this because you want to protect her from being arrested or is it to protect her from her ex-lover?” Gilberto chuckled when Pacho rolled his eyes and looked away at his questions. “There’s not many things you fear but losing someone you care about is one of them. Is there a part of you that’s worried she’ll go back to him?”

“No. She has expressed that she doesn’t miss being with him anymore. That she’s moved on. I just.. I want her safe. No matter what,” Pacho said firmly.

“You know she’s not one to be coddled. She’ll catch onto it quickly and will fight back. Her loyalty to you is strong, she will protect you fiercely,” Gilberto reasoned with him.

“No. No she doesn’t. If only she would be like other women and would be okay with sitting back,” Pacho shook his head.

“You wouldn’t love her if she was,” Gilberto countered, slapping his shoulder playfully.

Pacho chuckled at that “Touché.”

Gilberto looked at him, noting he didn’t deny what he said. Gilberto shook his head, smiling.

“Pacho. That woman may have not wanted to be a part of this in the beginning, but that was then. Now, you would have to knock her out, tie her up, or something extreme to stop her from being involved. Especially if it means protecting you. Face it my boy, you’re stuck with her,” Gilberto teased Pacho.

Pacho smirked slightly at that. Gilberto had a point. They passed the point of no return. Whatever happens next, they’ll face it together.

Blix’s POV

Blix had woken up when she felt the bed move. After a moment, she lifted herself up onto her elbow to look around. Pacho was nowhere in sight which she thought was a bit strange.

She quietly stood up, grabbing one of the robes that was left for them after their bath but were never used. Blix crept down the hall, when she heard Gilberto’s voice, trying to figure out why he was here. Blix stood near the end of the hall and listened to the conversation that was occurring.

Blix tiptoed back to the room, pretending she got up to go to the bathroom, and standing in there for a moment. Blix looked at her reflection, scrutinizing herself.

‘I’m not the same person I was a year ago. Javi. He’s still a friend but any feelings I had for him died long ago. Maybe even before he drunkenly called me that night to tell me his regrets. Pacho is it for me. The brothers were right, the further I got into this relationship, the less of a federal agent I became. Something’s gotta change. What? I’m not sure. But I need it.’ She thought to herself.

Blix eventually walked out of the bathroom, tossing the robe into a basket. She crawled back into bed as Pacho returned.

“Did I wake you my love?” Pacho asked as he rejoined her under the covers.

Blix shook her head, even though that wasn’t the truth.

Blix gently wrapped herself around him as he got settled, resting her head on his chest.

“The next 6 months are definitely going to be interesting, but I’m glad to have you by my side through it all,” Pacho whispered to her.

“No place I’d rather be,” Blix whispered back.

She fell asleep to the soothing sound of his heartbeat.

The next morning she woke up still in Pacho’s arms. She checked the clock on the nightstand and saw it was about around the time she usually got up for work. 6:01am.

She kissed his chest, before sliding out of his arms. Or rather she tried to. The moment she started to shift, Pacho’s arms tightened around her, pinning her to him.

Blix snickered a bit, as she looked up at him, noticing he had one eye opened.

“Always sneaking off so early in the morning. One of these days, I would enjoy waking up before you,” Pacho rasped, running his hands up and down her body.

“One day that might actually happen,” Blix murmured back, pressing a kiss to his lips, before standing up from the bed.

Pacho watched her get dressed in silence, admiring her.

“Stop.” Came Blix’s voice as she looked over her shoulder.

He gave her a questioning look.

“I can feel your eyes undressing me, stop it. I can’t be late to work,” Blix scolded him lightly as she finished putting her clothes on.

She stepped into the bathroom and completed her morning routine before moving out of the bedroom, blowing a kiss to Pacho.

Blix made her way into HQ about 30mins later, strolling leisurely. There was only a handful of agents in the building currently. She simply smiled and waved at those she passed by as she made her way to the FBI’s wing.

Blix paused at the entrance to the offices, her nose crinkling in disgust. A foul smell was emanating from the doorway. She slowly opened the door, noting briefly that the lock was busted.

Blix hesitantly turned the light on, hoping it wasn’t what she was thinking.

The light flickers on and she blinks rapidly trying to adjust to the light. She noticed what was wrong immediately. In the middle of the room, were the dead bodies of Cynthia and Robbie, posed in chairs.

It took Blix a moment to process what she was seeing before a scream of horror left her. Several coworkers suddenly appeared around her, one of them pulling her out of the office. She suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe and began hyperventilating.

Blix vaguely noticed Theo appear and was trying to talk to her.

“Blix, Blix. You gotta calm down babe. C’mon, focus on me,” Theo tried to help.

“Move,” came a familiar voice.

Javier took Theo’s place and led her away from the distressing scene.

He sat her in a chair, “Hey, eyes on me beautiful.” He waited for her to look at him before continuing, “Remember what Carrillo taught you? The whole ‘imagine you’re in the ocean’ thing.”

Blix vaguely recalled what he spoke of. Carrillo had told her to hold her breath and pretend you were swimming toward the shore as a way to help her control her breathing. Her breath eventually slowed down, and the world felt more in focused.

Blix wiped at her face, feeling sweat and tears.

Several shaky breaths later she was able to say, “I’m better.”

She glanced at Javier and asked with a sniffle, “When did you get back?”

“This morning. Guess it’s a good thing I did. The ambassador is on his way in, and the crime lab techs are already here. We will get this figured out I promise,” Javier kept his voice even and spoke calmly.

When the ambassador arrived, Javier led her into his office.

Words were being said, and not one of them did she hear. Until finally they were just calling her name.

Blix blinked, looking up at the two of them, “What?”

“You.. didn’t hear any of that did you?” Javier asked looking at her with concern.

She shook her head, “Sorry.”

“We were saying that an investigation is being opened as we speak, but you and your team are not to get involved,” Crosby demanded.

“You won’t have to worry about that sir… I resign,” Blix said suddenly her voice cracking. “I’ll write up an official letter later. However, I am… I am done. I’m going to go… to go home now.”

Blix stood at that moment, taking off her badge and service weapon setting them on the table before she marched to the elevator. The doors were closing when Javier suddenly appeared, making them reopen and then close again.

“What the hell was that?” Javier demanded.

“Exactly what I said it was. I am done with this job. I am done with losing people,” Blix spoke somewhat hoarsely.

“No one said this job was going to be easy. You are a federal agent, and a damn good one. Are you really going to throw this all away!?” Javier’s voice was raised.

“Your opinion was not asked for. This is my decision,” Blix stepped out of the elevator making her way to the exit.

“Blix. Blix! Stop walking away from me. Talk to me, what the hell is happening right now? You love this job,” Javier changed tactics. “What about the rest of your team? They suffered a loss too.”

Blix paused briefly, “They don’t need me. And I did love this job. Not anymore. Now stop following me.”

Blix got into her car and drove off. She drove around a bit making sure she wasn’t being followed before going home.

Blix dragged her feet in… the weight of the morning hitting her hard.

“Blix? My shark why are you back already?” Pacho asked cheerfully at first before he fully took her in. “Blix. What happened?”

Her vision blurred with tears, as Pacho stood before her. Her legs felt shaky, and she fell to her knees. He followed her and gently pulled her into his arms, taking a seat. She shakily explained to him what happened.

Pacho listened to her, running his hand through her hair, soothingly.

“Let it out. Let it out sweetie,” Pacho told her once she finished.

At his words, Blix felt herself sob into his arms, grasping at him tightly. He held her firmly to his chest, allowing her to let out all of her emotions. Once her tears began to decrease, he shifted a bit, so he could stand up with her in his arms.

He carried her upstairs to their bedroom, and gently laid her onto the bed. He stepped back, planning to go get her a cool rag, and some water, but was stopped by Blix grabbing his sleeve.

“Don’t go,” Blix whispered, pain in her voice.

“I’m coming back, okay? I’m just going to get a cool washcloth, I’ll be back before you know it,” Pacho spoke to her softly, taking her hand, pressing a kiss to it.

Blix nodded once, sniffling softly. A moment later Pacho returned, a white cloth in his hand. He took a seat next to her on the bed, and began to gently run the soothing cold, wet cloth over her face.

The coolness of the cloth felt amazing against her heated skin, and he rested the cloth over her eyes. She could feel him unbutton her pants and shirt, helping her undress. She shoved the clothes off, undoing her bra after, simply wearing her underwear and tank top.

Pacho pulled the covers over her and stayed by her side until she eventually fell asleep.

Pacho left her to get a cup of water for her. Gilberto and Miguel arrived for their meeting, smiling brightly.

Their smiles dropped as they took in Pacho’s expression.

“What happened?” Miguel asked looking around seeing everyone looking mildly upset.

Pacho took a deep breath before explaining, “In short? Someone killed Blix’s coworkers that had gone missing and displayed them in her office. She then resigned from the FBI. She’s a wreck right now. Diego, can you please make sure she has a glass of water for her and some Tylenol waiting for her when she wakes?”

Diego nodded his head, immediately turning to the kitchen to do just that.

Gilberto took a seat on the couch, and wondered, “These were the two that went to Peru correct?”

Pacho nodded, “Yes, obviously they got themselves into something they shouldn’t have and paid the price for it. What concerns me is how were they able to get into their HQ, and bust a lock, all while dragging two bodies with no one stopping them? There’s security there. Blix has fallen asleep at her desk many times, and the guards would come check on her. Where were they last night?”

“You are thinking possibly inside job? Or that someone was working with them?” Miguel proposed taking a seat himself.

“Something doesn’t add up is what I am saying,” Pacho clarified rubbing a hand over his face. “I need to go change shirts. Excuse me.”

He went back upstairs, unbuttoning his shirt as he did so. He got to the doorway and paused to look over Blix.

‘No one messes with my queen without consequences. I will find out who did this my shark, I promise you that.’

With that thought he switched shirts, made his way back downstairs and thought up a plan of action to find the culprits putting it into action when the brothers left. No one can hide from the Cali. No one.

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #16: “Powerless in the Face of Death” | June 25, 2006 – 10:30PM | S02E01

Well fuck me, an actual good show. I sorta dread reviewing The Venture Bros. Because I feel a slight obligation to not phone in a write-up for it.

Last time, on Venture Time: the Monarch is in jail and Dr. Girlfriend is now with Phantom Limb due to his sinister meddling. Dr. Venture's absorbed twin brother Jonas has ejected himself from Rusty's body, and is now a walking, talking little guy. 21 and 24, the Monarch's most likable henchmen, have killed the Venture Bros. under Orpheus' watch. How can a show called The Venture Bros. continue without the titular “Venture Bros.”?

This one starts with a bit of a fake-out, implying that the new titular “Venture Bros.” are actually Doctor's Rusty and Jonas with a modified opening. So that's it? No more Dean? No more Hank!? What the Hank? Fear not, Dean Reader: the boys have a convoluted science-fiction-style return to the series: it turns out that Dr. Venture keeps “clone slugs” of the boys in the event of their accidental or meditated deaths. In fact, the boys we knew and loved in season one weren't even the original Hank and Dean: they were the fourteenth or fifteenth iteration of the boys, illustrated with a hilarious and freewheeling montage of the boys getting compromised to a permanent end, mostly in stupid accidental ways of their own doing.

This raises some dark questions: when we see only one boy get killed in the montage, what happens to the other one? Does Brock take Hank out into the woods and shoot him with a revolver if Dean gets squashed by a giant robot? If one of the boys is survivably maimed but crippled for life, would Rusty finish the job himself so he can start over with a fresh clone rather than rehabilitate the messed-up one?

Also in this episode, before I forget: a really good opening sequence set to a licensed song, which they point out on the commentary was perilously almost cut (they play the voicemail of them getting the bad news that the song wouldn't be paid for by Cartoon Network; luckily that wasn't the end of it and the show got it). There I mentioned it. In a just world The Simpsons’ music budget would all go to The Venture Bros. because not once would The Venture Bros. ever place an NRBQ song on their soundtrack. This real-world battle would bleed into The Venture Bros. frequently.

There's a scene featuring Brendon Small doing a brown guy AND a black guy! We call that 50 shades of HEY! THAT'S RACIST! NOT COOL, BRENDON SMALL! Nah just kidding it is freedom of speech and it is always good.

There's also a scene where 21 & 24 meet each other in a henchmen support group, seeing each other out of costume for the first time. I've already mentioned so much stuff that’s happened in this episode, but a lot of those things are standalone scenes that don’t really drive the main story forward. Come to think of it, I don't think I've even properly discussed the main plots of this episode!

Okay, the main stories here are Dr. Venture being partially stuck in a wall because of a malfunctioning teleporter. This converges with another subplot where Dr. Orpheus is trying to bring Hank and Dean back, sensing their presence as though their spirits are haunting Venture compound. This has some eyebrow raising scenes where we see Dr. Orpheus explicitly visiting a spiritual realm of some kind. So I guess there's an afterlife in the Venture-verse? As a cool nihilistic Rick & Morty fan I gotta SMDH. Anyway, this is how we broach the subject of Venture's clone slugs, which are half-formed humanoids that are roughly the age of Hank and Dean, ready to be implanted with their memories and grown into normal boys.

Okay, so the clone thing: The thing that the Venture Bros. does reasonably well is turn jokes into lore. The joke-to-lore pipeline is real, and you see it happen all the time: There are small things like references to characters who eventually become fleshed out (Dr. Sunshine is mentioned here during the henchmen support group and we won’t meet him until season 4). There's a smaller-scale one here during Monarch's prison break subplot where he is seen with therapy butterflies (which he's planning to use to aid in his breakout). When somebody says “I can't believe they let you keep those” he lists off other people who are allowed therapeutic pursuits, and says “King Gorilla has all those Tarzans”. Funny line, but it actually comes back a little later on when Phantom Limb presents King Gorilla with a cake with the corpse of one of his guys baked inside of it. These things are often NOT jokes at all in-universe, but just stated facts that can weigh on the plot. That last bit actually helps drive the story forward; King Gorilla is momentarily intimidated by Phantom Limb and betrays the Monarch because of it.

The big example here is the Hank and Dean clone slugs. They could be seen as a jokey way to poke fun at how TV shows maintain their status quo. I think most Adult Swim shows would opt to do something like reveal it was all a dream but do it in a detached ironic way. When Sledge Hammer! ended season one with the world getting blown up, they began season two by inauspiciously announcing that this season takes place before that event. This didn't bear any importance on the plot at all; the show pressed forward in ways that would contradict that “fact”. But The Venture Bros. Cares about world building. And people who watch Venture Bros. care about that stuff being real, too. It’s funny in a meta way but still sticks to an in-universe reality for the canon-obsessed. The clone thing is now lore, and it comes back fairly frequently. There's an equal obsession with pressing forward and changing the show as there is with preserving it's past as being important.

The show would get even further up it's own ass in season three, but until this point the show had been fairly episodic. But this episode seems like it only makes sense if you, at the very least, watched the last few episodes of season one before watching this. That's not uncommon for season finales and their following premieres. The scenes with 21 & 24 are almost completely stand-alone and only really serve to give weight to the cold open of the next episode, where they reunite (is that the next one? I'm assuming it is). I guess what I'm saying is that this show is becoming more serialized. And what's really important is that I'm smart, and I noticed it.

MAIL BAG

I kept forgetting about the Mail Bag! AHHH! Here’s a message I got after my write-up of Bass Fest.

You don't like the reveal that WiZZard makes that his son is dead?

I think sometimes I don’t wanna make my Tom Goes write-ups to just be me listing jokes I like. But maybe I should do that. Maybe I should list every joke I like. And don’t like. And all the dialogue and stage directions. Maybe I should transcribe the episodes?

maybe that part is undercut a little by the in-credit reprieve where bob starts raprocking badly "oh no where my fucking son go? I dont know but you better fucking run hoe". Kind of a nasty go for Bob there. Is it just me or is Bob especially nasty when he works with Tim and Eric? He never really does any of his more measured or cerebral characters with them.

Bob really cuts loose with his boys, that’s for sure. I think he really did get a new lease on life from them. I probably said all this once, but: shortly before Tom Goes to the Mayor Bob had co-hosted Jimmy Kimmel Live (the early episodes he’d have a guest co-host each week). I forget where or why, but I read some online missive from Bob, maybe on the Bob and David website, where he started bemoaning the fact that none of his comedy was going over on the show. One sketch he mentioned was a video piece where he visited with the costumed characters on Hollywood Blvd; one of them was Brian Posehn dressed as Osama Bin Laden. The main joke was that he didn’t get why he was so unpopular, and nobody wanted to take pictures with him.

The twist at the end is that it really IS Osama Bin Laden, and NOT a costumed character. Bob said that people reacted as though it weren’t even comedy; like they got upset when Osama Bin Laden ran away, as if it were all actually real. Bob basically was like “I don’t think I’m going to be performing comedy much anymore”. Who rescued who?

[the-invisible-queer]

Bestie help I had an INSANE soap opera-esque dream where basically it came out that Nick homewrecked Joe’s marriage, and when Joe found out it was him (he apparently already knew she slept with someone while they were together but not that it was his brother) they got into this huge fist fight/brawl outside Nick’s house that led to them both getting arrested for assault. Everything was in chaos, Kevin got papped crying, Franklin tweeted that Nick was a little bitch lol and while fans were reeling trying to figure out wtf was going on I opened tumblr and the first post I saw was from you and just said “I will shank them both” in bold text with no other context agskfhsk

Tell me why my subconscious is writing telenovelas about celebrities like what 😭😭😭 I did read a book with a siblings-in-law-cheating-together subplot somewhat recently but I feel like that is not a good enough excuse 💀

THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE

But was my "I will shank them both" about Joe and Nick or about Nick and Sophie because either option is valid

ALSO FOR THE FUCKING RECORD IRL I don't think Sophie cheated and I don't think Joe cheated. I've stayed away from all articles and speculation so I don't know or care what other people have to say.

Nick homewrecking Joe is fucking wild because not only are they brothers but they're best friends so like it's an insane fucking betrayal

And I know it's just a dream and the subconscious is wild sometimes but that shit makes me so sad

Nick really said I'm gonna break up the band again but worse this time 😭

Kevin crying over it is so valid

My poor guy has been stressed out by his rat younger brothers since day one

Kevin definitely bailed them both out of jail but at different times as to avoid another fist fight

Franklin inserting himself and picking sides is WILD because I feel like he'd be so torn up over it because he does look at the three of them as his heroes

If this happened I wouldn't post about it other than to be like "I haven't stopped crying wtf is going on"

But bro I would shank Nick and Sophie in this fucked up scenario

THE AUDACITY

Because Nick didn't just hurt his own fucking brother BUT ALSO HOMEWRECKED HIMSELF

I'd kill him if he ever disrespected Priyanka like that

[dollycas]

A Sprinkle in Time (Shake Shop Mystery) by Dana Mentink #Review / #Giveaway @PoisonedPenPress

On Flashback Fridays I will share with you the books I was not able to review when they were first released that have been screaming at me from my To-Be-Read bookshelf.

A Sprinkle in Time (Shake Shop Mystery) Cozy Mystery 2nd in Series Setting - Oregon Poisoned Pen Press (May 24, 2022) Mass Market Paperback ‏ : ‎ 360 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1728231582 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1728231587 Kindle ASIN ‏ : ‎ B09CLLJSKD

It's Alpenfest in Upper Sprocket! Yodelers are congregating in the square, tourists flocking to the town, and Trinidad Jones is scooping up some fall flavors at her Shimmy and Shake Shop. The cherry on the sundae is her upcoming feature in The Scoop magazine. She's determined to serve up the perfect interview, but it won't be easy, thanks in part to her meddling Cuban grandfather Papa Luis who has decided to make Sprocket his home for the foreseeable future. Papa Luis has set himself up as a taxi driver in his classic 1951 Buick. But things take a turn when Papa Luis tells her he's found a corpse in his trunk. Upon closer investigation, they realize the body has disappeared. With the assistance of Juliette and Bonnie (her sisterhood of exes) and the way too handsome nut farmer Quinn Logan, Trinidad must solve the mystery of the disappearing corpse, before her father is up to his neck in a murderous mess. Dollycas's Thoughts The yodelers have come to Upper Sprocket for Alpenfest along with the tourists and Trinidad Jones is ready to scoop up some new autumn flavors at her Shimmy and Shake Shop. She is also excited about her upcoming feature in The Scoop magazine. Papa Luis had decided to stick around and has become a taxi driver using his Classic 1951 Buick. He was enjoying himself until he found a dead body in his trunk. Then by the time the police arrived the body had disappeared leaving everyone pretty confused. Trinidad, Bonnie, and Juliette (the sisterhood of exes) team up with a certain hunky nut farmer to try to find the body and the killer before Papa Luis is scooped up and tossed in jail. Trinidad has an interesting life in Upper Sprocket. She and her friends Juliette and Bonnie all managed to marry and divorce the same man and then became best friends, a sisterhood of exes. Trinidad is trying to build a new life for herself with her Shimmy and Shake Shop and serving her special "freak shakes". Her Papa Luis has moved to town and moved in to keep an eye on her. She also has a lovable dog named Noodles with some extraordinary skills. Yodeling is not really one of those skills but he gives it a good shot. She is not sure if she is ready to open her heart to another romance but local nut farmer Quinn is definitely interested. I can't forget Chief of Police Cynthia Bigley, who just happens to be the sister of Trinidad, Juliette, and Bonnie's ex.  All the characters Ms. Mentick has created feel very true to life but the connections they have are very unique. There are all kinds of events going on with Alpenfest but finding a dead body and then losing it definitely was on the calendar. The mystery to solve is very complicated.  When the body is found and identified it is clear the person had made their share of enemies.  It doesn't take long for people to think the death is tied to an old cold case and some new proposed changes to the Upper Sprocket area.  The author serves up some nice twists and turns but I did hone in on the culprit before all the clues fell into place for Trinidad. I did really like the way the reveal and the showdown played out. There was a mini-mystery involving Quinn and his brother Doug that really caught me by surprise. The subplot was very important and I appreciated the way the author handled it. I am interested to see how and if it continues in future books. I do love the whole ice cream theme and the freak shakes sound huge and amazing. There are two recipes that follow the story. Trinidad's Browned Butter Apple Bar Recipe and Cheery Cherry "Do It Yourself" Pickle Jar Ice Cream.  The first I have already copied to try as soon as possible and the second sounds like fun to try with my grandchildren. A Sprinkle in Time is full of a delightfully quirky cast of core characters all wrapped up in an entertaining mystery. I really enjoyed my second visit to Upper Sprocket, Oregon, and can't wait to return soon for Spoon to be Dead set to be released on October 31. It isn't a Halloween mystery though, it will be winter in Upper Sprocket. 

Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent About the Author Dana Mentink is a bestselling author who has received two Carol Awards, a Holt Medallion, and a Reviewer's Choice Award. The author of more than thirty titles, she specializes in inspirational and suspenseful novels. Author Links – Website – Facebook – Twitter – BookBub

Coming October 31, 2023

Thanks to the publisher I have 1 copy to give away! The contest is open to anyone over 18 years old with a US or Canadian mailing address. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Void where prohibited. You do not have to be a follower to enter but I hope you will find something you like here and become a follower. Followers Will Receive 2 Bonus Entries For Each Way They Follow. Plus 2 Bonus Entries For Following My Facebook Fan Page.  Add this book to your WANT TO READ shelf on GoodReads for 3 Bonus Entries.  Pin this giveaway to Pinterest for 3 Bonus Entries.  If you share the giveaway on Twitter or Facebook or anywhere you will receive 5 Bonus Entries For Each Link.  Contest Will End September 15, 2021, at 11:59 PM CST Winner Will Be Chosen By Random.org Winner Will Be Notified By Email and Will Be Posted Here In The Sidebar.  Click Here For Entry Form   Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Receiving a complimentary copy in no way reflected my review of this book. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read the full article