#and I am extremely messy with my layers

[mrflay]

I'm not much of a shipper, BUT.

[owlpellet]

I like to upset my roommate by showing them how I paint with less than ten layers because I merge stuff once I’m confident with it. Meanwhile I don’t know how they don’t get lost in their 300 layers with like 2 paint strokes on some of them!

What do you do when you digitally paint? As in rendering, not lines/flats/cel style. I guess this poll is also a bit more for figure artists, but not entirely I suppose.

(Disclaimer: None of these answers are right or wrong)

[mamaspeckles]

Alrighty then!

Anyways, a request I've thought about for abit is Veneer with a g!n or male reader who is also a singer where they had fallen off the stage, earning themselves a fractured skull.

It can be headcannons, oneshot, whichever you think would work the best for this idea.

Something extra you could add if you want to is that the reader is the lead guitarist and singer in a band. I personally don't think it would really change anything about the request if that makes sense.

I'm just a heavy angst, gore and comfort kind of person so yeah.

Also I forget if you want people to mention if it's romantic or platonic but even if not I'd like romantic please.

Obviously if you don't feel comfortable/don't want to do this request that is completely fine.

Have a good night/day!

Hello my lovely thank you for the request! This sounds like @kermahillway AU and I love it! But since I am writing a lot of stories I can give you at the moment some headcanons of your request! If that is alright! Mama loves you and hopes you enjoy this!

Veneer X male reader who is injured

POSSIBLE GORE WARNING ⚠️

CHARACTERS ARE 18+

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The crowd roared as Y/N strummed the first chords, his fingers dancing effortlessly along the strings. The music soared, intertwining with the collective heartbeat of the audience. The energy was palpable, and Y/N felt invincible, lost in the euphoria of the performance.

As the music reached its crescendo, Y/N had approached the edge of the stage, locked in the embrace of his music. Unbeknownst to him, a subtle layer of condensation had formed, creating an unforeseen hazard. In the midst of his impassioned performance, his foot slipped on the slippery surface.

Time seemed to slow as Y/N, caught off balance, plummeted from the stage, his guitar wailing a discordant note as it clattered to the floor. The gasps of the audience mingled with the horrified silence that followed. The once vibrant atmosphere shifted into a somber symphony of shock and disbelief.

The paramedics rushed to the scene, carrying Y/N's unconscious form away from the chaos. The stage, once a platform of dreams, became a haunting reminder of the fragility of life. Backstage, Y/N’s Partner and fellow popstar friend Veneer was told about the situation and rushed to the rage dome where he quickly ushered into the ambulance with you, the distant sounds of sirens echoing the gravity of the situation.

The sterile hospital room provided little comfort as Veneer anxiously awaited news of your condition. The air seemed extremely heavier with each passing minute, a cruel reminder of the fragility of life. Veneer’s fingers drummed nervously on his lap, his thoughts consumed by the haunting image of your head bleeding out as your eyes slowly rolled into the back of your head in the ambulance.

When the doctor finally emerged, his expression solemn, Veneer’s heart skipped a beat. Fractured skull and coma. The words hung in the air, a heavy burden he couldn’t shake. He rushed to your bedside, his usually confident demeanour replaced by a vulnerable desperation. Veneer had clasped your hand, his eyes pleading for some sign that you’d be okay.

“Please wake up…Please Y/N… I love you”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO RUSHED AND MESSY😭I WILL DO BETTER NEXT TIME!!!

[quinloki]

Can I request dacryphilia, clothed Dom naked sub and spanking for killer, kid and wire (of course if you are comfortable writing for him) have a lovely day/night 🫰🏽

Heck yeah, let's do this. These are creeping up on about a week behind, so my apologies anon (I mean, I did warn I was de-prioritizing these, but still <3 )

I love the Kid Pirates, one of the few crews where you can be sure I have head canon for even the BRIEFEST of characters on the crew.

I've - *ahem* touched on spanking with Kid and Killer, but it was in specific and non-generalized cases, so we'll happily do these a second time without issue.

We'll go by character - in alphabetical order.

Kid:

Dacryphilia - Oh god your don't even know - Within the confines of a session, Kid is more than happy to see you just fall apart. Whether your tears are from being overwhelmed, or because he's degraded you into a mess, or because you've been choking on his cock, he's all for it. Good sessions are messy, whether sex is involved or not. Granted, most of your session with him when you're first together are going involve sex, but once you've been together for a while there's certainly going to be some purely emotional sessions.

Much as he'd be loathe to admit it, he does value that emotional connection, that bond, that vulnerability. As loud and crude and vulgar as he is, he is every inch capable of maddeningly deep love. He might not know well how to deal with that, but he can get there.

But your tears are a sign of vulnerability, and that you don't stop session because of them sinks into his core. Now, your tears outside a session are more liable to cause him to panic (or get angry if you're not yet in a relationship). And honestly, gods forgive someone else making you cry, cause Kid won't.

Clothed Dom Naked Sub - Oh god you don't even know - This is a beast in his natural habitat. He'll take his time peeling away the layers of your clothing (or making you take them off) if the build-up and anticipation works for you as well. Clothes on, clothes off, clothes torn to shreds, clothes stripped - he's very flexible, but there is an extra level of power dynamic in this setup, and he revels in it.

Gods save you if you're a brat, because he certainly prefers to dole our punishments with this setup.

I imagine he honestly has a couple really nice tailored suits just for stuff like this. Black suits with blood crimson accents and leather gloves that creak just the right way when he flexes his hand.

(Oh... I am a tad distracted now.)

Spanking - FUCK Yes - Unless you're willing to push back, Eustass is gonna smack that ass. During session, outside session. He does it to show possession, and because he likes the way you jump when you don't know it's coming. If you're not cool with it outside sessions he'll respect that (with maybe an occasional oops), you can be sure that during sessions those hands with be on your ass.

Smack, squeeze, rub - until your cheeks are red and you're wet and panting against him. Over his knee, bent over the desk, down on all fours sticking your cheeks up in the air for him, crops, bare handed - he's here for it all.

If you want to yeet it into Oh god you don't even know territory, then beg him for it.

Killer:

Dacryphilia - FUCK Yes - Kid and Killer share the "sessions should be messy" mentality, though Killer takes it to a slightly less extreme than his captain does. There's also specific tears Killer is okay seeing come from you during a session - Killer's a Sure/Yes on Degradation, so he doesn't really like seeing you cry from that. He does like being able to wipe away your tears when you're overwhelmed, or gagging on his dick.

Much like with most of the Kid Pirate crew, crying outside of sessions is a way different vibe for Killer. He handles tears better than Kid does, but he doesn't like them. (He's also more likely to straight up murder someone for making you cry than Kid, surprisingly.)

Clothed Dom Naked Sub - Yes - Killer prefers to stay clothed, (not that it takes much to get him to strip), but he kind of prefers everyone to stay clothed. Moving just enough aside to be able to satisfy you is way hotter to him than him being clothed and you being naked. That said, he's by no means against this kink. There's still plenty in it for him to enjoy himself.

He probably doesn't start with a tailored outfit for the occasion, but I can see him having a few things he'd wear specifically. (At least one outfit is that pre time-skip deal with the tasseled pants and boots, and good bless than button up cause he just leaves it unbuttoned and there's all that thick chest hair <3 )

Spanking - Oh god your don't even know - Killer is very tactile. He loves touch and being touched. He loves the more his touch effects you, and he loves when he can leave marks on you that will fade. So spanking hits a lot of buttons for him all at once.

He also brings that quiet little daddy dom energy vibe he's got going on into it as well. How his good little one gets spanked and how his naughty little one get spanked are very different, and may you experience both in the ratio you desire.

Unlike with Kid, begging is not optional with Killer in this regard.

Wire:

Dacryphilia - Sure? - Wire, my tall quiet softie who comes in at like Extra Tall and equipped with a modified pitchfork. He's not uncomfortable with tears - in or out of a session, but he's not really into them either. He can appreciate how you could cry from good things, like over-stimulation, or a really good orgasm, and you tear up giving him head, and he wipes the tears away and whispers little praises to you. He's not turned off by your tears, but he's not looking to specifically make you a mess in that way.

He will skewer a bitch for making you cry though, but while Kid or Killer might do so whether you want them to or not (or before you could even stop them), Wire will give you a chance to stop him.

Clothed Dom Naked Sub - FUCK Yes - Wire does like to strip you, slowly, more than have you start out naked, but he does prefer to keep his own clothes on. Even when your roles are reversed (Heat and Wire both feel rather switchy to me, in both dom/sub and top/bottom roles), he prefers his partner to end up naked vs himself. He won't stop you from stripping him though, or making him strip - it's a preference, not a hard line.

Admittedly, it is nice to just disappear under that cloak. >.>

Spanking - getting spanked Yes, spanking FUCK Yes - I feel like Wire got a spanking from Kid at one point, and couldn't sit comfortably for a couple days so it's not as high on his list of things he enjoys. But he does love watching your skin get red, watching you squirm and moan and pant bent over his knee or a desk or what have you. He's not hugely verbal, but he loves listening to other people, so things like spanking or wax play or ice cubes, and the like, he enjoys. He's not trying to hurt anyone, he just want to hear all the sounds you can make.

I can see this man's enjoyment of sound equating into him being a hell of a DJ in a modern AU.

Kinky One Piece Head Canons

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Kristen Applebees S3 Playlist: Side A

Here's Part 1 of Kristen's Junior Year Playlist, I am obsessed with it so far and will probably continue to be. Descriptions and key lyrics below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10

Genres include: Pop-Punk, Alternative, Punk, Folk

1. Lavender Bones, Stand Atlantic

I know I'm out of my depth, but I just float in it I try to do my best, stop picking fights with it I wanna be upset, you're not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it Try to speak my mind, wish it was by design But I can only confess to having doubts with it Don't wanna feel regret, I'm not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it

So this is a perfect background music for the start of a movie about Kristen's life right now and I LOVE finding those songs. It's perfect on so many layers, it talks about feeling trapped, wanting to fix empty habits, and not to mention how "lavender bones" really hits home to my queer little heart. This entire playlist is really a game of guessing when the "you" in songs chosen mean Tracker and when they mean Cassandra, level: impossible

2. Starchild, Sweet Pill

What do you want from me? I am not a charity Work hard at everything Do it all for free What do you want from me? I am not a guarantee Go all or nothing Lose your money ... Set up to win Wind up disappointing everyone In the end I am disappointing mostly myself In the end Hang your Head

I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS SONG Guys its like it was written for this very specific situation. AND THE TITLE???? FOR A CLERIC OF THE GODDESS OF MYSTERY, DOUBT, THE NIGHT, AND STARS???????

anyways just please please listen to it its so great like even without the connection to Kristen, go support Sweet Pill they have a new album being released tomorrow (March 15th)

3. Uneeda, Deady

What about the bones The bones have no problem Turn them into ash And this never happened Your ashes big asses Your brains on the pavement Oh no! I can feel myself rot Unless I take your hand

Ok so this is kind of a genre outlier on the playlist since it is very very alt punk but for me it represents the rage at the mall, Kristen's relationship to Cassandra, and both of their respective reactions to what happened. It's very chaotic, but it was a very chaotic situation and I stand by it plus I love adding modern bands to things

4. Bite the Hand, boygenius

I can't hear you You're too far away I can't see you The light is in my face I can't touch you I wouldn't if I could I can't love you how you want me to I can't love you how you want me to

Yeah, sorry had to whip out the queer break-up big guns. I don't feel sorry I feel right.

5. Untitled God Song, Haley Heynderickx

When you're drunk near a sunset, look straight in her eyes She's a quick glimpse of heaven, forgetting her headlights are on When you misread her fortune, don't misread the joke She's the note on your lampshade, the honeycomb holdin' you And she spins me around like a marionette Oh, my web is still spinnin' My web is still spinnin', you can't see it yet

Immediately going from having total contact with a divinity figure to having to grasp for straws once again to a memory you hold onto, literally holding onto the shards of your faith. Having to both embrace doubt and faith at the same time. Girlies, I'm ruined

6. C'est Comme Ça, Paramore

In a single year I've aged one hundred My social life a chiropractic appointment Sit still long enough to listen to yourself Or maybe just long enough for you to atrophy to hell ... I know that regression is rarely rewarded I still need a certain degree of disorder I hate to admit, getting better is boring But the high cost of chaos Who can afford it?

I love Kristen, and I think her arc this season is extremely relatable; currently, 90% of what she does are bits, and I KNOW it's a coping mechanism, but STILL, WHY ARE YOU SO MESSY. I love you; keep being 17, but god, keep your clothes on and stop going to the steel plants girlie you're gonna give Riz a heart attack

[wisyhana]

Won't having art to share this week so here my favorite page from Jonouchi's comic, you can still read it by buying it on my kofi.

It's been so long since I drew a proper comic, about two years, and being able to work in one and experiment more with mixing traditional and digital art felt extremely satisfactory. I still feel is messy, it was my first time working with textured layers and I know that I could have done a better job, but in the end all I can feel about it is pride and motivation to do more.

I'm very happy of getting back the joy of drawing comics, specially thank to yugioh. Never thought it would happen lol. And I want to keep working on more comics and see what I am capable of!

Here an extra too, a more sketchy example of a page.

[niuniente]

Sorry if this is too much to ask! But do you ever think you to do a quick drawing tutorial? Or like, what brushes you use, the canvas size you usually use, and what you think may help besides "draw and practice every day" (because while that is solid advice I am curious about your thoughts)

I have little bits here and there but a one big info package sounds good :3 My way of working is a bit chaotic compared to (most?) many artists lol.

I use Fire Alpaca and my drawing tabled it XP Pen Artist 13.3 Pro (SUPER RECOMMENDED!!). My drawing canvas is 5555 x 7777 pixels wide. I like to draw in big sizes as when you resize an image smaller, its quality becomes better. Thus, I can draw extremely messy stuff and it still looks nice when resized. Because of this messiness and big canvas, I can sometimes draw with my non-dominant hand, too, and it still looks fine!

See here for more examples of how messy my stuff is before resizing!

I don't use any fancy brushes. My way of drawing digitally is to mimic traditional medium drawing as much as possible. The less the program does things for me, the better!

I use just the ordinary Fire Alpaca brush. I have no set size for the brush but I change it based on what I need - anything from 18pxl to 38 pxls. I think the average is around 24-26pxls. I have anti-aliasing on and my stabilizer is set to 33 (Global setting).

For a bucket, my settings are the following: Tolerance 27, Anti-aliasing on and expand on 1 (albeit I edit this one if needed).

For texture, I can use a Flat brush (you see this in blood a lot). I have a few round brushes for chains and other small details but I use them so rarely it really doesn't even count. For front views, I enjoy using Symmetry brush.

I use lots and lots of references! The best thing with references is that when you repeat a same thing with a reference, you will eventually learn how to draw it without one. References are every artist's friends! Always, always, always go for a reference and don't hesitate to trace stuff to learn and figure basic shapes for your stuff. (But trace other people art privately for learning purposes only, as everyone draws and paints with different lines and strokes)

I generally draw with a free hand without sketching, unless the pose is difficult. I always draw a head on its own layer so that I don't have to worry is the body right size to the head. I can edit both freely when they are on their individual layers. For layers, I use only multiply if needed.

Here's a video of my typical drawing process with a free hand (sped up). If the above link doesn't work, go here. You'll find more tagged as #niu_video

WHAT ELSE?

（￣︶￣）↗　Here's a tutorial how I draw white lines on black

（￣︶￣）↗　Here's a tutorial how I edit photos to black and white backgrounds

（￣︶￣）↗ Here's my Youtube channel with a video of how I use references. There are more examples on my Patreon in wip-folder.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

I don't know if you're still doing the ask game, but how about 1, 22, and 25? For Jason, and Steph too if you're up for it :D

--Cologona

Because I could still find it: yes! Still doing this ask game :3 Sorry it took so long to answer!

1) Why do you like or dislike this character?

I spent like seventy years attempting to find the post with this meme on it so I could give credit lmao, but I could not for the life of me, so uh, just know that I'm remaking this thing from memory I guess???

Jason is the bee in my bonnet, the rock in my shoe, and I am chewing on him forever and ever - meanwhile I will enjoy pretty much any comic about Steph simply because I love watching her do her thing :3

But to go into more detail I really enjoy Steph's narration style and the way she navigates the world. She feels very refreshingly street level and hopeful. Also as someone who grew up as the only "girl" (trans man but egg) in my martial arts class which was taught by a detective with a very drill sargent/tough-love approach to teaching and got an extra helping of PTSD as a result... watching her struggle, get dismissed bc of her gender, and go on to become a great hero despite Batman and his bullshit feels really fucking good. Def love Batgirl 2009

Jason on the other hand is just so deliciously messy. He's hurt a lot of people, but at the same time his anger is super justified! He's intimately familiar with violence in a way that I think makes him unable to conceptualize trust and gauge what an 'appropriate' response is. There's been several times where he's expressed the idea that serious violence by him against others is just normal and forgivable and not a big deal. There's something so compelling to me about that bc I think he really does see it that way, and it comes from a place of him being extremely used to receiving violence and being expected to forgive and not hold it against them. That wall of text in the meme picture is a tiny fraction of one of my essays on him. He's got so many fascinating layers and I love peeling him apart and putting him back together like a robot performing surgery on a grape.

Sometime after I finish Chained, I really want to write Four and Twenty Blackbirds, which is a fic concept I've had for ages now that puts them together in a lesbian/gay man queer relationship. The premise is that somehow or other Steph comes back to Gotham secretly/early and Jason is the first one to find her and they end up building a weird organized crime/community support organization called The Blackbirds.

Not sure on the timeline. Maybe it'll start before Under the Red Hood? Maybe after a modified Hush plotline?? In any case: Jason offers to preform High Vengeance against Black Mask either for or with her. She does not want him killed! She would feel like that went completely against everything she died for. However, she does want that fucker taken down, and is touched that Jason clearly genuinely cares. Also I'm going to have Jason assume without question that she is fully competent and his equal. Unlike every other vigilante in town, she will never have to prove herself to him. So anyways she tells him that yeah, she wants her revenge, but it's gonna happen her way, and the plot moves on from there, as together they destroy and co-opt Black Mask's organization and establish a territory for themselves :3

22) If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Unless given a reading suggestion by someone else, I exclusively read JayTim fanfiction, which heavily skews what I look for and see in fic. I'm also pretty damned picky lol I write much more fic than I read these days

Even the most basic, stripped down version of Stephanie's core concepts and background ought to be enough to conclude that she would have very complex feelings about both Jason and Tim and them dating each other. She had a supervillain father and a character arc about learning to value the lives of even her worst enemies. Now her ex is dating a guy who had a henchman father and the same character arc in reverse, a guy who specifically targeted her killer in order to get back at the mentor who bears some responsibility for both her death and his own. They are so uniquely poised to understand each other from across this fascinating chasm, both in terms of approaches to vigilantism and dating Tim. You could not ask for a more fertile storytelling ground, regardless of if you want her to be supportive or not.

So yeah, for Stephanie I like it when she has a personality outside of cheerleading Tim while being vaguely sweet and quirky.

The bar is in Hell here folks, and out of the hundreds of fanfics I've read I've only ever seen it cleared twice. And that's only if we include my own goddamned writing. This goes beyond normal fandom simplification, especially when you factor in that Cass, famously against all killing Cass, gets similarly denuded of all internal motives and qualities in favor of being (sometimes literally) wordlessly supportive for no apparent reason, while in those same fics the male characters get to have opinions and internal viewpoints. JayTim nation, I am praying for us to learn how to write women, truly.

Now on to Jason!

I think of Jason as someone who is intense in every facet of himself. He can be cruel and mistrustful or tender and romantic, but no matter what he is I want him to be a little unhinged with it, a little too deep, a little too incapable of not giving a fuck. I want this man lost in the sauce, whatever that sauce may be.

I dislike him being overly apologetic, which practically translates to me disliking most fics in which he is apologetic at all lol I do think he would come to regret some of his actions, but I tend to think those would be different actions than the ones he's usually depicted apologizing for. For instance, I can absolutely see him apologizing to a victim of the Joker for not killing him when he got the chance, but I don't really think he'd have the framework to consider his fights with Tim to have been all that far out of line.

25) What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Ohhhhhhh boy that was fuckin ages ago??? I'm not honestly sure I remember, though I do know that I read JayTim fanfics before anything else that involved these characters, so it had to have been based on that.

...Gah, I don't even remember how I found this ship lol! I mean I started with Boostle?? Maybe JayTim was in the background somewhere of one of those fics? idk

I suppose my first impressions were that Jason was a Big Mood deeply traumatized and lashing out bc of that, and Stephanie was gir waffles XD random rawr means I love you in dinosaur.

Anyhow, thank you very much for the ask @cologona! As per usual with these things I hope it was a fun read and you have a good day and all that jazz :3

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Lovely Writer and BL Gets Meta On BL (and Everything Else) Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I write about Tee Bundit's Lovely Writer, a drama that I was SURPRISINGLY and wonderfully taken by.]

Lovely Writer is in the Old GMMTV Challenge due to the very strong recommendations of @shortpplfedup, and dear NiNi -- I can't thank you enough for recommending it, because 1) it was a PHENOMENAL SHOW, I enjoyed it immensely, and 2) it dealt with a whole bunch of stuff that's extremely pertinent not only to the development and coverage of the Thai television BL genre by way of macro commentary -- but it also didn't hesitate to cover the kinds of discriminations that the queer community faces inside and outside the entertainment industries of Thailand and the world.

Before I delve into this, allow me a quick few words on Tee Bundit, the creator of the Lovely Writer drama (and the man behind two shows airing right now, in Hidden Agenda and I Feel You Linger In the Air). I've now watched three Tee shows: my first Tee show was TharnType, of which I had many feelings. While TharnType is first and foremost thought of as a MAME show, I felt the show was bad enough to need to hold any other folks involved with it accountable. I understand from BL fanon lore that Tee may have created Lovely Writer in part to offer macro commentary about the problems he faced making TharnType and how shipper fans responded to it and how they respond to BLs in general.

If you're a regular reader of this space, you'll know that I watched my second Tee show, Step By Step, *before* watching Lovely Writer, which was a mistake in hindsight -- I definitely should have tried to watch Lovely Writer first, to get a sense of how AMAZING Tee's filmmaking work could be. I had not at all the same feelings about Step By Step -- the 180-degree opposite feelings, in fact. Step By Step was so wildly bad, so unmoored, incomplete, and messy, it made at least the story structure of TharnType look good.

Finally, I acknowledge that I'm not watching Hidden Agenda, and I *am* watching I Feel You Linger In the Air, which I am enjoying very much, if not for my smell test being very active about the editing foibles that I was made aware of during SBS. (But @lurkingshan has hipped me to the fact that historical dramas, of which IFYLITA is one, is meant to have slower pacing -- and Tee, at least, is utterly killing it on the cinematography and scenery alone of IFYLITA, which is making it enjoyable for me.)

So, with all that said, at least from my perspective, Lovely Writer is Tee's top anomaly of the dramas of his that I've watched so far.

Lovely Writer, man. It was a sharp, well-paced, extremely layered, and ultra-critical examination of BL media, shipper fandom, capitalism, internalized and externalized homophobia, intergenerational trauma, family acceptance, and a whole lot more.

Let me break down why I think Lovely Writer succeeded and why I think it's such an important show to have on the OGMMTVC list:

1) The macro commentary on the structure of the BL media world, from novels to dramas, to marketing and fandom, to the exploration of the actors' private lives, is absolutely necessary for any serious BL fan to watch and digest,

2) The inclusion of intergenerational trauma by way of internalized and externalized homophobia was deftly depicted,

3) The acting itself was superb and met the level of talent needed to tell this complicated story, and

4) The commentary on the "work" of the BL world is a subject that had already received attention in other dramas that were indirectly referenced in Lovely Writer in an utterly brilliant way,

and I might come up with even more reasons to celebrate this show as I pen this review.

The ultimate reason why I loved Lovely Writer was that it never lost sight of what I saw as its overarching message: how discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community is mean and entirely useless in all aspects, and how this discrimination is woven in insidious ways in almost every detail of our everyday lives.

By the time of Lovely Writer's airing in 2021, we are five years -- ONLY FIVE YEARS! -- ahead of SOTUS's airing as the first holistic Thai television BL. SOTUS began the process of establishing tropes and conventions, and fell in line with Love Sick and Make It Right in establishing ships -- to the extent of the creation of the first blockbuster ship in KristSingto. Between 2016 and 2021, we have the creation of other blockbuster ships (MaxTul, PerthSaint, TayNew, OffGun), we have shows that buck the BL trope trend (He's Coming To Me, A Tale of Thousand Stars), we have shows that decentralize romance (Manner of Death), we have the creation of the prestige cinematic BL genre (ITSAY and IPYTM), and we have shows that flirt with, for the BL genre, new storytelling structures that hadn't been seen when the genre was born, namely historical flashbacks that gave a cinematic feel to its final products (Until We Meet Again, ATOTS).

Lovely Writer was a pandemic-era show, airing after the incredible success of 2gether and Still 2gether (2020), and that success -- the insane burgeoning of awareness around BL in that moment -- along with Tee's experience in making TharnType, and seeing the hype around TharnType -- likely fed his desire to make incredibly smart commentary about what he was seeing by way of capitalistic interaction with the genre, and, maybe more importantly, how these capitalistic demands were actually affecting real people, including himself, in the process of the creation of this material.

What I loved the absolute MOST about Lovely Writer was the parallel story of insidious homophobia within and emanating out of the media world -- and how that insidious homophobia was ultimately presented next to stories of internalized and externalized homophobia on personal, interpersonal, and familial levels. Bua, Gene's book editor, wants hotter and more explicit sex scenes. The director of Bad Engineer wants, needs, Nubsib and Aoey to emanate attraction and heat. The fans of Bad Engineer (Lovely Writer's show-within-a-show) demand ship after ship -- SibAoey and SibGene -- and become poisonous online if their fantasies aren't catered to. But Gene and Nubsib, as an actual queer pair, cannot be out and together publicly. In fact, not only are studios wary of fan rejection of Nubsib and Bad Engineer itself -- but it's also presented that Aoey's career depends on Nubsib faking a relationship with Aoey, to Aoey's crushing recognition.

What the media world assumes is that fans want an arm's length away from the reality of queer relationships and queer sex. I posited in my 2gether review that that's exactly why 2gether was so immensely popular in real life: 2gether gave fans an illusion that two men could successfully be shipped together, without any depictions of actual intimacy to make the fans feel uncomfortable -- especially if those fans held implicit and/or explicit bias against queer people. (As @bengiyo has written in the past: when queer love gets "too real" for fans -- fans turn. In Ben's words: audiences don't like gay people.) (It's always important to note that out actors, like Fluke Natouch, Earth Katsamonnat, and Bruce Sirikorn, are far less popular actors than the majority cishet GMMTV stable of actors. Fluke Natouch only recently -- in 2023! -- had his first solo fan meeting.)

What Lovely Writer highlighted, in its macro criticism of the BL industry and what this industry has spawned, is the utter hypocrisy of the media world leveraging queer themes and ideas for the sake of selling content, while keeping an arm's length with queer reality. As CNN wrote about gay idols in the K-pop industry, so in the Thai BL industry can a career be wildly and negatively affected if an actor comes out. For the sake of Nubsib's career as his show, Bad Engineer, aired within the Lovely Writer universe -- Gene broke up with him.

And this was presented alongside three family stories -- Gene's, Nubsib's, and Aoey's -- of discrimination and rejection of sons being gay. Gene having a queer revelation vis à vis Nubsib, and being courageous enough to bring his admission home, only to face hypocritical rejection, and then hesitant acceptance, from a father that had been discriminated against in his own past for his own queerness. Nubsib faced incredulous resistance from his parents, specifically in regard to how his parents' careers would be affected by having a gay celebrity son. And Aoey was rejected by his family for his career choice in acting in BL shows while being gay himself -- to the extent of getting kicked out of his parents' home.

From my dear friend @lurkingshan -- another Lovely Writer stan, hey gurl -- I understood that Aoey's storyline affected a lot of Bruce Sirikorn's fans (and I am super-duper glad that the one glowing part of Step By Step, the character of Chot, was embodied by a glorious Bruce). Man, did Bruce ever EAT his role of Aoey, depicting the heartbreaking insidiousness of internalized homophobia. We think he's after Nubsib -- but he needs to chase Nubsib for the sake of keeping up his BL career. We find out that Aoey is attracted to Gene -- but Gene is already managing the complicated realities of his relationship with Nubsib, and must deflect Aoey's repeated flirtations attempts. I saw the show setting up Aoey as a despicable character, but my heart broke for him: as he was rejected by his family, he had only the ephemeral acceptance of his fans who were only interested in his potential to be shipped in fantasy with his co-worker.

Alongside Aoey's story of internalized homophobia was that of Gene's father -- which gutted me. (Nu Surasak, who played Gene's father and was also the teachers' foundation head in ATOTS -- damn, he is a HELL of an actor.) Gene's father simply did not want Gene to be gay, because Gene's father himself had experienced queer discrimination as a young man. And we saw how Gene's father's internalized homophobia nearly ripped his family apart.

And then, Gene's father HIMSELF demonstrates a process of behavioral change, when he begins to RELATE to where Gene is coming from in his love for Nubsib. I gotta admit: I did not see this coming. Not just Gene being so brave to come out so openly to his family, but to demonstrate that PARENTS can change, in such a visceral way. This was so meaningful to me in part because many of our BLs today show parents that automatically accept their sons -- without a process of change and acceptance happening before our eyes.

And THEN: how Gene's father came to Gene's side when Gene decided to leave Nubsib for the sake of Nubsib's career. And how Gene's father related, tear by tear, emotion by emotion, to everything Gene was going through.

WHAT A DECISION TO INCLUDE THIS STORYLINE. To have a PARENT embody a story of THEIR OWN queer revelation? @bengiyo has written before about the importance of queer elders in our beloved shows -- and while Gene's father presents a more complicated reality than out-elders, the fact that Gene's dad could holistically RELATE to EVERYTHING Gene was going through was truly remarkable to watch.

(I want to note that if you didn't know, there is a movie-length Lovely Writer special episode. It's structured around Nubsib wanting to surprise Gene for his birthday. The middle part is somewhat incomprehensible -- hi, Tee -- but the ending wraps up Gene's father's total acceptance of Gene's and Nubsib's relationship in a gorgeous way. I highly recommend finding it if you haven't watched it.)

Lovely Writer's very complicated storyline -- from Gene writing a novel, to Nubsib filming a show, to Gene and Nubsib's childhood, to Aoey's interventions, to Gene and Nubsib's families, to the fans, to the studios and managers (ZORZO!!!!), to EVERYTHING this show held -- could not have worked if Up Poompat and Kao Noppakao didn't hold it together. They were the fucking GLUE to this story. THESE DUDES ATE. Step By Step did NOT allow me to appreciate Up's SCOPE. (I mean, Put was TOTALLY intolerable, and Up did him fantastically, but Gene was just, WHOA.) I just need to give them their flowers, because I loved Kao in Until We Meet Again, but I did NOT appreciate how capable he was at very intricate storytelling as a main lead.

I want to wrap this up by noting that Lovely Writer was not the first show to offer macro commentary about the BL industry. Cheewin Thanamin (who made a HILAAAARIOUS cameo in Lovely Writer as a press conference host, I was HOOTING) offered commentary on BL actors in YYY, where one actor tells another actor, this is a job, and we have to do this to get paid. War of Y, another Cheewin show, also gets into this. As we recall, Step By Step also attempted to offer macro commentary about ships and the BL industry -- to the morbid extent that that criticism was edited out after ZeeNew fans raised protests.

I love it when media comments on media -- the hypocrisies, the vagaries, the capitalist realities. For the Flukes, Earths, and Bruces that are out: we don't know how many more actors are in the closet, out of fear for the sake of their careers. Lovely Writer forces fans -- the BL fandom -- to reckon with the hypocrisies of watching queer media, and of accepting queer realities vs. only being accepting of queer fantasies that do not otherwise challenge heterosexual power. Queer joy is joy. What Lovely Writer did for Gene and Nubsib was to center and highlight that joy, and to show that they, together, could surmount the ridiculous obstacles of the demands of media and capitalism, to allow their love to thrive and grow. What a story. I want and hope that Tee Bundit can demonstrate this SHARP critical eye on his work again in his future.

[Alright! Next one up: my review of Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You The Moon. What a turn from I Told Sunset About You. I love relationship-growth stories, and IPYTM was one of the very highest order.

I mentioned previously that I may need to take a week or two off from the OGMMTVC due to some insane life shit happening at the moment (FML, MOVING). I've been coping by letting myself fall a little behind on shows. I’ve paused on Not Me, to give it the attention it deserves. But I will be picking it up again soon, very slowly, and I’ve very much enjoyed what I’ve seen so far. After Not Me, I hope to be settled enough in to start in on my usual faster pace to get through 55:15 Never Too Late, for more macro commentary -- this time, from GMMTV itself, on the BL industry.

And then onto my long-awaited Bad Buddy and Our Skyy 2 rewatch. I'm having some seriously fantastic and in-depth conversation with a few Tumblr friends about how BBS has impacted us, and I can't wait to bring them into my big-brained posting moment about re-watching Bad Buddy and offering some insights into our conversation.

List below! As usual, feedback welcome, etc. (Tumblr's new web editor is jacking with this list and not letting strikethrough what I've watched. For the very latest list, please click here!)

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review coming) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review coming) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 43) Only Friends (2023)]

[psychicreadsgirl]

JIMIN AS A BF pleaseeeee

He's like a very intricate and tight knot in relationships. He's like an onion with many layers to peel off and he will make you cry as you peel those layers off and realize what he is like.

Rated R reading so read at your own discretion

Jimin often takes on 2 roles: 1 submissive in 1 type of relationship and 1 dominate in another type of relationship. He's sort of like those clowns with 2 different masks. It can feel like he has multiple personality disorder sometimes. He often has more than 1 relationship at a time. For one he's the the one begging for the partner to forgive him/accept him/love him and then in another, he's the one blowing cold air/acting real cold to his partner. It seems that he has 1 or a couple of partners that are highly unattainable but he wants them so bad so he'd do anything to please them. Then he has others that are sort of there to fill his spare time/void.

His relationships are all secretive - he makes sure that happens because he's a smart guy. He enjoys being in control and also losing control. Reading his love life makes my head kind of go in a whirlwind because you see so many extreme/contrasting scenes. One side he's so submissive/giving. Then other scenes you see him being the one dominating or inflicting pain on someone else. His love life is super messy and entangled.

The dates are nearly always physical, usually at his home or at another person's home. I'm pretty sure he has his own play room at his home... He bought a fancy house I believe. It's a dark place, feels sort of dungeon like imo. That's where he's dominant. He likes to keep mementos of those intimate times - those can range from some cut off hair or like even bodily fluid or some jewellery. I am getting the feeling that he uses the relationships where he's dominant to relieve the anger/frustration he feels from being in his submissive relationships. He can be quite cruel during rated R moments and inflict a lot of pain. For these sort of relationships, he likes ones that are weak/feeble/insecure/innocent/young because they are easier to control. After inflicting pain/hurt, he'll be like really caring and loving to that partner and say he loves them etc.

He will have some dates overseas like in Japan or in Europe. He can also have flings/casual one night stands.

If he ever has any relationship leaked to the public and it's a female idol/celeb/whomever female, it's definitely fake/PR.

[ripeteeth]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @another-lost-one!

How many works do you have on ao3?

106, all in. (105 under ripeteeth, 1 orphaned)

What's your total ao3 word count?

966,792. God, I'd love to hit 1 million before the end of the year, but that's extremely unlikely.

What fandoms do you write for?

Way too many. The main are: The Terror, MDZS, Disco Elysium, Harry Potter, Good Omens.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Salinity (And Other Measurements of Brackish Water) [Good Omens]: 3094 how a resurrection really feels [Disco Elysium]: 1479 Vigil Strange [The Magnus Archives]: 1266 the art of asking your boss for a raise [Succession]: 1154 no son of mine [Beyond Evil]: 993

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I get easily overwhelmed and sometimes don't. I feel awful about it, I'm so sorry. I am so grateful for every comment, truly.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess it depends what you consider angstier? I have some centered around grief and loss and some focused on fucked-up relationships and characters continuing to make choices that hurt them. It's kind of cheating to say Asterius is my choice, considering that I haven't published the end of it yet, but anyone familiar with the story of Theseus and the Minotaur should hear the beat of the story I'm telling there.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

For some reason, I think it's either The Passion or How A Resurrection Really Feels. A believable happiness feels the most relatable to me, and two middle-aged, damaged-but-still-here-godammit men finding a bit of comfort in the midst of all of it just feels right. Like a comfortable boiled wool jacket just a little big in the shoulders. The one that smells like your father's cologne. That kind of warmth.

Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah. It was really bad for awhile, and was the main reason I left Good Omens and turned off comments and orphaned Salinity. I'm pretty desensitized to it now.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write pretty much only smut. I don't know what I'd categorize it as other than that tbh.

Do you write crossovers?

No, never felt the interest.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! It was a really cool experience and I felt really honored.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I've tried to but I'm terrible at it. It doesn't help that I've had terrible writer's block for the past several years though.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have no idea how to answer this. All of them I've ever shipped?

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Revachol Calling. God, I want to finish it so badly. There was a very specific something in me while I was writing it, and then a lot of everything happened. Anyway, I've lost it, that je ne sais quoi. I started replaying Disco Elysium again recently, so maybe it will come back. Here's hoping.

What are your writing strengths?

Imitation. Hearing the music in a sentence. Being fascinated by everything and bogging the reader down in necklaces of useless fact.

What are your writing weaknesses?

See above, turn it up to eleven.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?:

Not unless I'm reasonably fluent and confident in the language.

First fandom you wrote for:

Ghost Story, for Harry Potter, first posted in December 2018. It's surreal to think that it's been five years. What a strange five years.

Favorite Fic You've Written?

Either Revachol Calling (for Disco Elysium) or Blood, Bones, and Butter (for MDZS). I think there's something deeply personal about Revachol Calling that both makes me struggle with it but also resonate the most with it.

For Blood, Bones, and Butter, it was one of the more fun fics I've ever written and I really enjoyed being able to add layers to what the reader knew by simply adding an additional viewpoint, kinda triangulating their messy beginning through three men who are each extremely certain that they're correct. (Yeah, I'd watched Rashomon recently, why do you ask). That's the fascinating thing about songxuexiao for me, each of them is so certain they've got the others all figured out, but they're also all holding back aspects of their own interiority.

Either way, they're both important to me.

Tagging: @pearwaldorf, @et-in-arkadia, @danpuff-ao3, and anyone else who likes!

[shameboree]

several of u wanted to see my Process for lineless so dw i am HERE to disappoint 😎 once again pointing out that how i draw is shaped entirely by the 1 to 3 layer drawing applets i used thru all my formative yrs so that is why i am soooo bare bones

BLOCK OUT THAT SILHOUETTE BABEY!! idr bother w sketching unless its literally a stick figure im gonna block and carve anyway bc i prefer to do it all on one layer so its a MOOT EFFORT

alpha lock my fav and most beloved feature. i just kinda color block what i wanna do so i know whats goin on

basic detailz time

then i just draw the fuckin rest i guess

LAST STEP try n catch anything i just extremely fuckin hate before posting. i have a fuckton of pattern brushes ive either made frm free images or bought from somewhere that i couldnt remember if i tried. i do not keep track of jack shit my brush library is a MASSACRE. anyway this is the only part im kinda careful w if i truly deeply do not feel like redrawing over parts i cover up. sometimes ill add patterns before details to make it easier on myself but it all depends on how much im using my brain which is not much and not often.

im so sorry i dont have any sick tricks im literally the laziest bitch i know

EDIT this is only if i do a clean draw or whatever, when im being lazy and messy i literally just draw like u would paint w acrylics or do papercraft, one layer on another. EASY PEASY

[delirious-donna]

I am a hardcore Kakashi stan, but Minato would be such a soft dom and thinking abt it makes me 🥺💞

-🌙

🌙 my sweetie! Soft Dom Minato huh? Interesting... he really would be the absolute softest. Let’s explore below the cut! ^^

Minato is sunshine and softness. He is full of smiles and warmth. He’ll spend an age simply holding you and getting lost in your scent, the weight of your body pressed atop him.

Minato will peel away the layers of clothing, shushing you softly as you make noises of embarrassment. He’ll push away your hands as you try to cover your bare breasts, the faintest hint of a scowl lining his handsome face.

“Don’t hide from me, sweetheart. Wanna see you beautiful breasts.”

He loves how you blush; how the deep red hue spreads from your cheeks, down your neck and across your chest. Ooh, how delicious. You’re perky nipples pebbling before his eyes.

He’ll press a hand between your shoulder blades, bring you closer to his face until his nose nudges at you. Kisses to the underside of your mounds, palms holding their weight so he can latch his warm lips around your areola.

Minato suckles the tender flesh, brow furrowed at your taste and he is growing so fucking hard beneath you. Pushing up against the heat of your pussy, friction chasing along his shaft as he pulls you to and fro.

He is so soft that you’d really have to work hard to rile him up. Punishment is practically a foreign concept to him, you’d really need to deserve it. Minato is far more of a service Dom and his type of ‘punishment’ is more like extreme overstimulation.

The blond Hokage is a sucker for becoming pussy drunk. He is a messy eater and your pussy is for sure his favourite meal. Slurping sounds bounce off the walls along with his groans and your whimpers.

He’ll only growl at you like a feral beast if you try to tug him away from your glistening folds. Minato wants to dig more slick from your tight hole, regardless of how many times he has forced you to gush all over his tongue already.

Aftercare is his speciality; he’ll bring you ecstasy over and over until you are crying fat tears and your legs are entirely jelly, but he’ll soothe away the pains of his overstimulation. Rubbing feeling back into your limbs, whispering such sweet words in your ear and treating you like the most pampered princess.

Minato is the softest Dom…

[mareenavee]

Fic Authors Self Rec!

Tagged by the indominable @kookaburra1701! Rules:

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

I love this. OKAY LET'S GO. Tell me about how proud you are of your work, friends. You've come so far <3

Tagging: @paraparadigm, @polypolymorph, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thana-topsy, @dirty-bosmer, @thequeenofthewinter, @gilgamish, @archangelsunited, @throughtrialbyfire, @expended-sleeper, @ladytanithia and YOU yes if you see this, talk kindly about your writing journey and TAG ME BACK <3

Below the cut because I do be ramblin' (: They're not really in any particular order, I just love them all for different reasons.

1) If We Knew Anything At All

This one was a hell ship prompted by a list that Topsy shared with a bunch of us and I had a brainwyrm, then ended up crying while I wrote the end of it. Quite possibly one of my favorite ever pieces. This one is both the inevitable end to my fic universe and something completely outside time. How did I manage this? Via Sheogorath's voicing. I don't think it gets more unreliable than that.

2) Metempsychosis

A very dear friend and fantastic teammate I met through Skywind sent me this prompt and it gave me such an excellent challenge not only to flex on weird god voice stuff again, but also to bust out some spoken word poetry tricks. I did end up recording myself reading this one too and it felt like old times. I loved all the layers of references I shoved into 1,000 words. It is also my first Morrowfic. And also one that reminded me what I am capable of even more strongly than some of my other projects did. 🥰

3) Serpens Caput

This one is newer, yes BUT OH MY GODS what a flex it was. ANOTHER Morrowfic but it's set in Ceth's fic universe featuring not only major character death but the mindset of a villain in his final moments. And we get to see Danger!Josh through his eyes. It was WEIRD. WEIRD WEIRD but so much fun. I don't think I've yelled so much about a fic whilst writing before. Ceth threw me this prompt, but I don't think was expecting this to end up...being this way (: Borrowed the description of Teldryn and Nerevar from her universe and just RAN WITH IT.

4) Little Dragon

This was written as part of my cute, happy LDB!Athis polycule AU where nothing is quite as horrifically messy as my main fic universe. It is a different kind of catharsis to write, often fun and humorous and a flex in that direction, since I didn't know what i was capable of—I always write pining and heartbreak lol. This came about as part of a fic writer's duel with AU (judged by Poly) which was honestly one of the coolest fandom experiences I've ever been in. It has become its own thing now with multiple other stories and I've been in yet another fandom duel since then. So it's all cute fuzzy feelings and happy memories and I love it to bits.

and last but certainly not least:

5) The World on Our Shoulders

My longfic which throws characters into extremely tough situations, handles horribly difficult themes and topics, shows people being messy and still finds ways to show it all with grace. It's what got me out of my multi-year writing slump and truly, truly brought me back to myself. So yes maybe some of the characters have some of my irl nonsense. Some scenes are far too relatable and it's a little scary sometimes how horrible that is, but it's a different kind of Catharsis. I love also the support its gotten so far for its specific type of storytelling structure as well as all the weird details that sprawl into other stories (Like my honorable mention written for Para, Recurse) and sequels and spin offs. It's been a great joy to be writing this and it's continued to inspire me. From draft one, which I wrote in challenge mode, posting every day this last February to now, where I am mid-ground-up-edit, I love this project to bits and will do all I can to see it through to the end. I see how much I can accomplish in this project. I see what can be done with common tropes and themes and even Fic in general. It's unalienated labor that I do for the sheer hell of it because I can and it's mine and I don't have to follow The Rules. There's something beautiful about that. It's one reason I get up at the crack of dawn every day -- to write for the sake of writing. Out of spite sometimes for all the ways the world tries to crush this kind of self expression out of us. This is my gem of a project. And I am proud of it and how far I've come since I started it. (:

So now it's your turn, if you got this far. Why do you write? How have your favorite fics you've written changed your perspective on the craft so far?

[imolelalade]

Nifemi Lore and Stuff

Nifemi is a character who I tried to put layers into, while basing some aspects of her personality on myself. But while not only is it hard trying to breakdown yourself down into a character, my brain is also too messy to form proper lore before jumping straight into trauma parts, which I hyperfixtated on at some point. Seeing as this is my first time actually posting proper stuff about her and most of you might be like ‘Who the hell is even Nifemi?’, I’m gonna post a small background and info-dump on her lore a bit. (I also just need some type of  outlet for all of this, it’s one am I want to sleep, she takes up my every waking thought)

Backstory and Personality Study

Nifemi hails from Earth 1960, and she was born in South Africa, though being raised in her spiderman city, Laghattan, New Lagos City, Nigeria (A mashup of Lagos and New York), where she lived  and grew up. 

She and her sister, Bolatito, were both orphaned at about 4 and 2 years old respectively, when their parents died in a plane crash, and moved in with their Uncle Benedict ‘Ben’ Parker and Aunt Mayowa ‘May’ Parker. 

They owned a small family based resturant that brought in most of the family’s income and simultaneously ignited Nifemi’s love for cooking.

At 13 on a field trip to Oscorp Industries, she got lost from her class and got bitten by a radioactive spider and after her Uncle Ben’s death, took up the mantle of spiderwoman, or as she and her city call her, Anansi.

About a year of being Anasi later, Nifemi’s sister, Bolatito finds out about her identity and claims the role of ‘the gal in the chair, making gadgets, walkie talkies the whole thing.

When Nifemi was about 15, she met Miles 1960 (her Earth’s variant of Miles Morales) who she developed a strong friendship with as they bonded over their love for art and stuff. (Big sis, Little bro relationship)

Nifemi soon introduces Bolatito to Miles, the three of them becoming a trio with Miles and Bolatito becoming a couple at some point (Techflower)

Timeskip, blah, blah, blah, Nifemi meets Hobie at uni, develops a crush on him and him vice-versa and they both also end up together (I’ll explain the timeline more in depth later, I’m too lazy and tired to do that right now)

Anways,

Throughout her journey as Anansi, Nifemi’s canon events of losing her loved ones had a lasting impact on her personal self, both as Anansi and as her civilian self.

Nifemi and her Uncle Ben were extremely close, she growing to even see him as a sort of father figure as she barely had any memories of her real parents, which is why his death as her canon event, (though she didn’t know what canon events were at the time) had such a lasting impact on her, making her unknowingly more emotionally closed off than she would have been as a normal teenager. Her already naturally shy and introverted personality also didn’t help matters to an extent.

Due to this, even though she eventually opened up as she grew older and met HB 1960 (her earth’s variant of Hobie Brown), her second ‘loss of a loved one’ canon event of losing him (since he’s kind of her Gwen Stacy, love intrest thing), completely shattered her and set her down a dark slope of her being afraid getting close or forming any sort of relationship with people, as now 2 of her greatest love ones are dead because, in her mind, her.

As a person Nifemi is a laid back person to an extent, just moving with life but still trying to be successful. She tries to have an easy-going attitude with life but might appear to be closed off and moody to others at times. She honestly doesn’t try or mean to seem that way but has problems socializing or even opening up with people. Despite her attitude however, she does have a pretty steady friendgroup and realistic approach with life, keeping the few friends and loved ones she has close, which is why the loss of them usually has a bigger and lasting impact on her.

Nifemi sees her identity of being Anansi to be seperate yet at the same time the same with her civilain life, constantly mking connections yet still try to keep them from overlapping with each other. While, yes, she follows her Uncle Ben’s advice of “With great power comes great responsibility” and the added mindset of “If I don’t do it, who will?”, at the same time she still wonders if she should just stop trying. The fact that her city, still has their doubts about her, despite her constantly saving them, still seeing her as a demon, due to her powers and their superstitions, also doesn’t help matters and keeps the thoughts coming.

However despite all of this, Nifemi still keeps trying and persevering, using her friends and famiy as a sort of motivation to keep going, in a sense her motto kind of being, “Even if you don’t want to, do it for them”

[cephalonheadquarters]

post that is me talking about ratchet and clank

Hi for the past twelve days I have been on a marathon of checking out every main Ratchet & Clank game. I do not know why I decided to get into this series. The idea appeared into my mind one day and I went Ok. Time to gaming. And then typed out my thoughts after finishing each game

So here are my thoughts on all the games I’ve seen (includes spoilers and a lot of words)

TL;DR: The Ratchet & Clank series are both the best and worst games I have ever experienced and I only recommend the first and last game

FIRST OFF; I will not be commenting on the gameplay itself because! I have never played these myself! I cannot afford to play them myself 😁. However I think the gimmick(?) of the gameplay like constantly switching between guns and leveling them up and stuff is extremely cool. OK Thinking

Ratchet & Clank (2002)

Nice and simple. I like how rustic it felt. Awesome anti capitalism. Ratchet is a jerk which I like because character development happens later on. For some reason I found it difficult to like Clank at first?? Overall though it is very good. Captain Quark needs to die

Going Commando

Story was paced weird but it was made in 10 months and they didn’t have actual writers apparently so I understand. It got better near the ending. I liked Angela she was cool and silly. Captain Quark needs to die

Up Your Arsenal

Very good, great introduction to Dr. Nefarious. I like him he is funny. I love his contrast with his butler Lawrence and the fact that he insults Nefarious in the most passive aggressive way but also follows his orders anyway. A lot of random pointless stuff though but the secret agent Clank thing was cute I liked the levels for him. Britney Spears knockoff (Courtney Gears) was there I guess I liked the level aesthetic for her. Captain Quark needs to die

Tools of Destruction

I like to ignore this one.

Quest for Booty

Pirates were there. I didn’t even pay attention to the story I just remember Clank appearing out of thin air and leaving (I skipped nearly the entire game and only saw the first and last part I cared for none of it)

A Crack in Time

Really good. Animation was amazing, especially for Dr. Nefarious. The Clank levels were very cool and I love that he actually gets a weapon. I like Sigmund also he reminds me of Filbo Bugsnax and I am glad he got promoted in the end. The time stuff was a bit messy but all the games are messy so I don’t give a darn. I really liked the reunion with Ratchet and Clank and how Ratchet was so tired and they just sorta laid there on the ground for a bit. I also really liked when Clank reached out his hand for a handshake and Ratchet hugged him instead 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I LOVE STRONG FRIENDSHIPS And the whole part with Clank watching Ratchet sorta die right in front of him made me jawdrop. And I think Ratchet should have been glad that Azimuth died too. I seriously enjoyed the ending cutscene though with Ratchet about to leave by himself all sad and Clank running to join him 🥹🥹 I liked it a lot. Very very good game I loved the Ratchet and Clank’s friendship-focused parts a ton and Nefarious’s silly movements he was really good. Captain Quark needs to die

Into the Nexus

The story was simple I don’t really have a strong opinion on it. It sure was an Into the Nexus! Captain Quark needs to die

Rift Apart

Oh my goodness.Wow . Wow. Wow. WOW. What A Game. I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. The story was extremely good, lots of layers to it.

I'm having trouble forming thoughts right now it is late at night at the time of typing this up so I'm putting it in a list but some of them are paragraphs ok Also out of order they don't make sense

-Ratchet's characterization was... Interesting?? I don't really mind too much since I'm able to ignore it, but I feel like he was out of character for most of the game. I still love him, though. Clank mostly stayed the same to me, at least. I liked his interactions with Rivet during the time they spent together, with Rivet being all suspicious of him in the beginning and Clank only trying to help and later gaining her trust and them becoming a decent team.

-I enjoyed the Clank puzzles and I liked Gary, he's silly. The thing with the Plumber actually being Gary's dad was a surprise LOL I like the running gag of him showing up or being mentioned throughout the games

-I'm also a sucker for when robots feel emotions, so the parts with Clank or Kit feeling bad always get me ☹️☹️☹️☹️

-Speaking of Kit, I really like how Rivet and Kit's relationship was handled. I like that they didn't know they had met one another before the events of Rift Apart. I like that they had genuine conflict with one another, with Rivet attempting to patch things up but it didn't go how she wanted, and so she got frustrated and just left Kit behind like that. It made me sad to see her without Kit and that Kit wasn't even there when everyone else was all together at Zurkie's just before the final fight :(

-I thought it was cute when Rivet was practicing saying "Hi" to Ratchet before they met face to face aueee AND WHEN THEY DID MEET UP AND SHE MET KIT AND aiuauuaeee it was so cute i love them forever

-I LOVE JUICE AND JUNK BOT AND I MISS THEM SO MUCH AUAUEEEE I LOVE i love junk bot. Junky. I miss him i miss him he;s one of my favorite side characters

-Clank swearing was unexpected but welcome

-I liked Emperor Nefarious & Dr. Nefarious's Doofenshmirtz-type relationship like in that one P&F movie

-Captain Quantum is miles better than Quark and I like that he was also some sort of pirate captain

-Where Talwyn .?? She's not a favorite of mine but I was kind of confused when she was just Gone except for in the credits. Lol ?

-I liked Pierre he was extremely annoying but in a good way

-Goons-4-Less guys were funny I love their stupid dialogue

-WAIT I ALSO REALLY LOVE Emperor nefarious enemy troops THEY'RE SO ENTHUSIASTIC i love them and their voices

-All the planets were absolutely FANTASTICAL. I LOVED THE ENVIRONMENTS SO MUCH AND HOW THE CRYSTAL THINGY worked i forgot what it was called but it was so crazy how an entirely different world just instantly loaded like that. Wow wow wow

-The pirate trials gave me secondhand embarrassment

-I like that Kit wasn't a defective war bot like how Clank was. Which is probably obvious that she wouldn't be a defective bot considering this is supposed to be opposite dimension stuff but watever I still like it

-Music good

-ZURKON JR I LOVE ZURKON JR. Invader zim

-I LOVED THE WHOLE SEQUENCE WITH THE GRIND RAILS AND THE FIXER AAHHH THAT WAS AWESOME HOW EVERYTHING Was falling apart around you and that brief moment of Rivet sliding across his shoulders like a bridge to another side that was so so so so SO cool

-Glitch segments were cute

-Final boss was AMAZING. THE GIANT ROBOT. WONDERFUL

-Dr. Nefarious also being against Emperor Nefarious was very good and that last part with him kicking Emperor off the cliff was Perfect

-End credits song was a pleasant surprise. Enjoyed very much

-CLANK'S NEW ARM MATCHING RIVET'S AND KIT'S COLOR SCHEMEEEEE AIUAHUJHHGUUGHJGHJJBHBHGBBHHBHJHFJHNHJNGFHJNFDNNF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-THE CREDITS ART WAS SO SO SO CUTEEEE^^^^

-And, of course, Captain Quark needs to die

Uhuhhmm that is all I can think of and I am tired! And if I did think of any more, this list would be far longer than it already is because there's just so many crazy things in this game

Wait also my tierlist because i felt like i had to make one:

Ok. NOW that;s all. Goodbye no more ratchet & clank EVER (I plan on watching the movie at some point just to see how terrible it is (Im sure its terrible because why wouldnt it be LOL)