#and I cannot cannot ever stop returning to this version of them

[bapydemonprincess]

Female Sebastian actually being really self conscious and having a hard time hiding it behind a mask of confidence in public. ESPECIALLY when being Female but looking STILL like Male Butler Sebastian Michaelis.

HOWEVER FEMALE SEBASTIAN, DESPITE BEING SELF CONSCIOUS, LETTING GRELLE SUTCLIFF, A PROUD, OPENLY TRANS WOMAN, UNABLE TO HOLD BACK AND NOT WANTING TO, HATING TO EVER PUT ON A MASK OR A DISGUISE EVER AGAIN, DRAG HER AROUND PLACES IN PUBLIC, NOT SAYING IT OUTRIGHT BUT TRYING THROUGH THIS DATE THAT SEBASTIAN SHOULD LET HERSELF BE HERSELF!

[visionsofmagic]

day 6: roronoa zoro [cock warming]

࿓ synopsis • you ask to zoro whether he needs any help or not, and in return, he makes you sit on his cock so that it can get warm while he’s sleeping.

―❦ nsfw, opla!zoro, f!reader, reader is being needy & brat, pussy slapping, pet names, teasing, swearing, ‘is all! • 1.2k • a man that takes all my attention to himself in an instant in every type of universe; live action, manga, and anime. I chose to write for la!zoro version ‘cause why not? enjoy, hope I did everything right! [kinktober m.]

“stop moving, you're distracin' me.”

his deep voice cuts your actions of trying to stay still on his lap, adjusting your position so that your numb legs will fix, but, the struggle causes your pussy to clench around his length because of sudden movement which ends up by earning an unsteady thrust. looking at his face, hands gripping the collar of his sleeve, you see his closed eyes, trying to continue the nap he’s taking in the middle of the day.

 “sorry –“ you say, smiling innocently knowing he cannot see, “I didn’t mean to, it’s just –“ you try to find a solid word to describe the situation you’re in now but the weight of lust running through your pussy takes your brain away, wanting to break free, letting yourself go and wasting the last thirty-four minutes waste, waking zoro up, being a greedy brat – only to make him not sleep, instead, fuck you. “so much.”

you can’t bring yourself to say what you’re thinking aloud – just fuck me already! Just move this thick cock and fill me up! – pathetic.

you’re here, sitting down on his cock, warming it, being useful.

the moment of the morning came into your mind; the crew went to bring food and new clothes to the ship, and when they left, only you and zoro were on the ship, you said ‘I wanna be useful for you’ because he’s still healing and you wanted to help – anything, you added, which was a bad idea – maybe, it wasn’t that bad though.

zoro, being a greedy boyfriend even if he tries to hide it, decided to make you a useful one – for his damn cock – to warm it up!

“so much?” he teases you, taking you back to reality, making the sensation on your pussy grow bigger each passing time, moving his hips, acting as if he just adjusts his position like you did minutes ago – only this time, it’s an act – to try you, seeing how much you can handle this. folding his arms, he opens his eyes slowly, an eyebrow is raised, questioning, “what’s so much? I even didn’t begin to fuck you, did I, doll?”

opening your legs wider, challenging him, a whimper leaves your mouth yet zoro doesn’t show any sign of being greedy to fuck you – oh, what self-control!

but you’re not done yet. “it seems you will never do,” you say, shrugging, hands on his shoulder building up to his neck, playing with the hair on his neck – the most breathtaking man you have ever seen – he’s so beautiful that you would beg anytime now but you should try first – to break him into the point in which he will let himself go and move his hips. “I know I am here for the help – to warm your cock,” you point to the sight in front of him – your pussy beautifully covering his thick cock, wetness that comes out of you soaking his veined length. “am I helping?”

opening his arms, he puts them behind his head’s back instead as he leans to the wall of the chair you’re sitting on – eyes travel from your tight pussy to your face, meeting with your innocent smile and sparkling eyes.

“u-huh,” he says, trying to understand where you’re heading with this question, because he knows you well enough to realize you want him to move, yet stubborn and prideful to beg, not until the right moment which zoro waits to arrive. “warming my cock so well that I can feel you dripping into it – hot.”

nodding to him, heat rushes to your face at the sudden compliment, making you gain a confident manner, and continue on with your act; being a fucking brat, using his jealousy to achieve your goal – you would feel bad under other circumstances but not today, not when you want him to devour you – he’s hard to resist, and you’re so greedy to be a good girl.

“anything for my crewmate,” not boyfriend – a crewmate. it takes his attention, eyes on your face, daring you to go on with piercing gazes, jaw getting tight, straight face expression that screams danger. it only turns you on further. “I will make sure to provide my service to the captain as well than because he can need – agggh – zoro –!”

your words are cut by him; raising your body up a little until his tip releases you, and then, without missing a heartbeat, putting it down on his length, thrusting into your dozy pussy, earning a scream out of your mouth.

holding his shoulder tightly, you try to stay in balance while he keeps doing that without any particular rhythm and steadiness so that you get cockdumbed mind right away – all dizzy, just moaning, feeling him shoving his dick into you, balls hitting the ass – finally!

“is this what you wanted, brat?” he asks, hands open your skirt by damaging its buttons, nearly tearing it apart, cupping the breasts through the fabric of your bra before letting them watch how they bounce in sync with your body, raising up and down on his cock with more rapid pace now – devouring you – the things you wanted for a long time. “want me to break that pussy, pretty doll – ohhh – uhmm – y/n – you – you will fuckin’ get it!”

his hands are positioned on your waist, looking down, seeing your clit getting wider with each of his hard and strong thrusts, warming it with all the juices you make – you literally soak now, close to the edge, and zoro smirks at you the moment he hears the crew entering the ship.

his possessive and rough side takes control of his mind – his soul as he picks you up, you already begin to beg for him to put his cock inside, pleases coming out of your parted pink lips that you bite so hard. you let him turning your body, abdomen touching the surface of the bed, cock’s tip resting on the entrance of your pussy, then, he slaps it with his dick, a hand finds your neck, putting your face down onto the pillow – his body hovering behind you as your ass gets higher and higher.

it feels so vulnerable to be in this position as if you’re his own fucktoy to play with, and you can’t deny the fact that even the thought of it can make you cum in an instant.

“zoro – aggh – I –“ you try to say when his dick slaps your clit once again, your body jumps – feeling both shy and shameless at the same time but he cuts you out, cock enters you in one go, jolting your body forward.

“cut it. you don’t want to waste your breath now, you will need it when I make you scream my name enough to make all the crew hear it,” he chuckles – the rings of danger echo inside your head, making you look behind and see him; standing on his knees, eyes on your face, a smirk is visible that gives chill down to your spine at the sight – his glory has one meaning – is that he will not leave this room until others – and your brat brain understands only he can have you like this.

“will make sure everyone knows who’s fuckin’ you day and night, including you, you dumb doll. should’ve learned it sooner, but, I’m always open to teaching you how to be a good fuckin' girl for me.”

❦ tagging: @lilvampirina & @snowprincesa1 & @dookiemeshibear *cuties*

[t-a-a-1]

Counting Stars

Ch. 5: Skylight

TFP Optimus x Female Reader

Summary: After a dangerous mission where you almost die, Optimus breaks up with you without knowing you are carrying his sparkling. It's not until seven months later that the universe allows you both to meet once again.

A/N: Lots of yearning, jealousy, delusions, craving, fluff. All that good stuff.

5K

Ch.5 Skylight

....

He hasn’t felt a single thing since you disappeared. 

He didn’t even know if he was allowed to feel something. He had a team that depended on his good judgement and sanity to keep things in order. 

But right now, could he be allowed one moment of weakness?

Maybe this is something he should discuss with you. He wants to hear your opinion on this and he wants to see his sparkling, see how they are doing. 

But where are you?

Where is his sparkling?

He wants to see you both. He needs to. If he doesn’t then this aching in his spark won’t ever stop. 

He wants to hold you, to know that you are safe. That his sparkling is still strong and growing inside of you. That it will soon come to this world and greet him. 

Where are you? Where is the sparkling?

Where?

Where? 

Where? 

Where? 

Where?

Where?

WARNING: PROCESSOR UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND LOSS. UNABLE TO KEEP ONLINE. LOCATE SPARKMATE IMMEDIATELY. SURVIVAL CODES ACTIVATED. 

From a distance, he can see you. Carrying his sparkling in your arms and singing lullabies to him. A field of sunflowers surrenders you. You and his sparkling bask in the light coming from the sky. That’s exactly what the two of you were to him. The light that brightens his darkest hour. 

“Optimus.”

Ratchet looks at the berth where the Prime rested. Unconscious and immobilized. His body had given up and after the groundbridge explosion and unable to locate you, he had gone into shock.

“How is he doing?”

“Stable but in a deep sleep.”

Arcee approached the doctor. Concern in her faceplate to watch the leader in such a state. Everyone had been able to get out of the bridge safely, the ground bridge explosion had sent them to their wished destination. But you were the only one affected. Ratchet had mentioned that due to you being an organic and the sparkling having Cybertronian features, the groundbridge wasn’t able to locate you properly, sending you somewhere else. Or maybe …

No, she couldn’t think like that.

If you are gone, everything is gone. Inside you was Cybertron’s first sparkling in eons, you had become a symbol of hope for everyone. Even the Decepticons, in their own twisted ways. For Optimus? He simply couldn’t live without you. 

“What are we going to do?”

Arcee asks the medic to which he only turns to look at her.

“What do you want to do?”

Ratchet’s doesn’t sound hopeless but assertive. He is waiting patiently and that’s when Arcee understood what he was trying to imply.

“I can’t–”

“Bumblebee is too young, Bulkhead can’t think quickly and I am certainly no leader,” Ratchet says as he looks at the Prime on his medic belt. His vital signs are steady but the signals in his processor were showing distress as if he was having a nightmare. “You need to step up … for all of us. Especially if there’s a chance they are still alive.”

“Is there?”

“... Cybertronians emit unique frequencies. They are our version of human fingerprints,” Ratchet started working on his computer, pulling files after files. Data that Arcee didn’t even bother to try and understand. “I was able to make a registry of Optimus and (Reader)’s sparkling and tried locating them using Earth’s satellite and found nothing.”

“Does that mean … they–”

“No,” Ratchet says and Arcee’s faceplate immediately relaxes. 

“I input the frequency into our database system and made a universal search. I couldn’t find anything. A sparkling’s spark wouldn’t disappear into nothingness, it's pure energy. It cannot be destroyed. It would return to the Well of All Sparks and even so, I would have been able to track it.”

“Meaning?” Arcee wished that Ratchet didn’t gave out so many explanations but even she knew she had to listen to all of it before deciding what the next step would be. 

“Meaning that (Reader) and the sparkling are alive but are not in this universe. The groundbridge explosion must have sent them into another dimension.” 

Then, Arcee’s processor started to make connections. 

“Then, if we input the sparkling’s frequencies into the ground bridge …could it take us to where they are?”

“Possibly but we are going to need a vast source of energy to repair the groundbridge and the quantum physics to travel across dimensions will take some time to decipher.”

“Leave the energy gathering to us,” Arcee quickly says. The idea of dimensional travel doesn’t sound so crazy after what happened with Dreadwing. “Start the preparations. Do you need anything else?”

“Bring Rafael on the way, I’ll need an extra pair of .. hands.”

“You go it,” before she left, Arcee takes another look at their Leader. Who, against all odds, always keeps pushing forward. Because he was hope reincarnated and all she could do was to follow those steps.  “Let us know if there are any improvements on Optimus' status.”

“I will,” Ratchet looks at Optimus, his old friend, so vulnerable and yet, he doesn’t give up.  “But don’t expect much.”

.

.

.

“This is a daisy … and this is a sunflower … this a rose.”

You didn’t expect to be spending so much time with Jetfire. 

“And this one?”

“Oh, that’s a mushroom, that's a totally different species.”

Yet, here you are. 

You would have never figured out that Nemesis Prime had a private garden of his own. Around the size of a football field and with an open ceiling, it was your favorite place to be. You could forget for a moment your situation. 

It's not like Prime had you captive, he allowed you to go anywhere … as long as Jetfire went with you. He had become sort of a bodyguard to you.

“I can’t believe it,” Jetfire was in disbelief, his optics widened as a sudden realization hit him. “You, the plants, the animals … your kind cannot live without one or the other … your entire ecosystem … all of it is just one big creature. Everything is connected.”

“Doesn’t Cybertron have an ecosystem?” you ask as you sat in the grass, you gathered a couple of flowers to make flower crowns. 

“Cybertronians are … and invasive species. We can live at any place as long as there is energon we can mine,” Jetfire looks at you with curiosity. Wondering why you would take the life of such beautiful flowers. “Unlike your species who can only live on Earth, we don’t depend on one and other to survive.”

“Is that why … Maybe Cybertronians have such a hard time creating meaningful connections?” you ask, thinking about how even their way of speaking is formal to one and the other. “Never asking for help, living for millions of years, not having the necessity to reproduce either to continue the species … kinda solitary, right?”

“Correct,” Jetfire’s voice is sad as much as it is gentle. “And  between Cybertronians, the creation of another Cybertronian is not an easy task either.”

“And yet, it was so easy for you,” he looks at you with so much wonder and excitement. You never thought how easy it was for humans to reproduce and create new life. To Cybertronians the creation of life was a complete miracle. To you? An everyday thing.  “How does it feel?”

“Well … It's actually kicking right now … do you want to feel them?”

Jetfire reaches a servo towards you. You can see that he is scared by the way he is slow and his servo trembles. Wanting to make him feel comfortable, you put a hand on his servo and guide him towards your belly. 

He puts the servo on your belly and waits. When suddenly he feels something move underneath him. 

He quickly moves his servo and moves a few inches away from you. 

“Sorry, did it scare you?”

“A little … I understand now why Nemesis wants you guarded all the time. You are too valuable. If the wrong individuals were to find out, they will try to capture and keep you and the sparkling for their own benefit.”

This sparks your curiosity and from making your flower-crown, you look at Jetfire. 

“Wait, wrong individuals? I thought the war was over.”

“My apologies, I have spoken too much.”

“No, you—”

Out of nowhere, Jetfire receives a call from his comm-link and quickly answers. You wished you could hear what he has been told but by the look on Jetfire's face, it must be a call from Nemesis Prime. 

“Understood,”Jetfire finishes the call and looks back at you. “Prime wishes to see you. He has requested that you shower and use luxurious fabrics to decorate your body.”

“He wants me to get dressed? Do you know why?”

“Not certain,” he says. “But do not worry, I don’t think Nemesis would want to procreate with you while you are still with sparkling. Although I am sure he is making his preparations for after you give ... birth.”

“He wants another sparkling?” You didn’t want to show your real emotions. You tried to act as calmly as possible but the thought that you might have to bed Nemesis scared you. He was Optimus but it wasn’t your Optimus. 

“Well yes, everyone wants you to have as many sparklings as possible,” From curious, Jetfire’s voice now sounded optimistic.  “We haven’t seen a sparkling in millenia, so everyone is excited. It has lifted our morale.”

“Oh so that’s what you want me to do? Breed me like a cow until I am no longer of use?”

“What is a cow?”

You sigh heavily.

…

It’s been a long while since you took the time to dress up. It was hard and you had many questions. Where did Nemesis get all of this fabrics from? And did he expect you to just wrap them around your body? From what you knew, fabrics in Cybertron were rare. Only those in the high class could afford buying fabrics and only wore them around certain parts of their bodies. 

So you tried your best to wear the fabric around your body, the white silk wrapped across your curves and you feel like a Roman. But thankful for wearing something clean. You feel your sparkling move inside you, probably sharing your happiness. 

“Excited to eat Energon, little one?” you ask your sparkling as you rub your belly. “I just hope I get to eat some human food. I don’t think I can live off Energon.”

Now you sit at a large table. 

Waiting for Nemesis to show up. Trembling hands and feeling cold. You didn’t know what to expect. 

You couldn’t believe that there exists a version of Optimus that lost the Matrix of Leadership by merit. That he didn’t care about this planet and its inhabitants. To the point that it can no longer host humans?

What kind of evil monster … is Nemesis Prime?

And what kind of thing was able to break the unbreakable Optimus Prime?

The doors of the main room open only to reveal the one you were thinking of. 

Standing tall and carrying a silver tray. He walks towards you. You didn’t break eye contact, feeling that he will attack you the moment you take your eyes away from him. Noticing your discomfort, Nemesis began to walk slower. 

He makes sure to be close enough to you and delicately puts the silver tray in front of you. 

Nemesis didn’t mass-shift, still standing at, around 32 feet tall. Yet his movements were all measured. As to not scare or harm you. He takes a few steps back, giving you space to finally guarantee you some sense of safety so you could take a look at the tray before you.

It was kinda like a charcuterie board. With many fruits and vegetables. Edible plants and breads. A tray that was too big for you and definitely something that you will never be able to finish eating even if you had three extra lives. 

Your mouth waters and a part of you wanted to jump and start eating to your heart’s content. 

“I made it myself.”

He finally spoke to you.

And the shock was so great that you stopped your actions and immediately looked back at him. 

“My apologies, I shouldn’t have spoken.”

Nemesis looks down, his optics showed something but what you only thought would be embarrassment. 

“I am thankful that you have finally decided to speak to me,” you say, trying to be gentle with your words. Although it wasn’t your Optimus, you had missed his voice. “Could you please … get closer to me?”

You couldn’t be scared forever and you knew that if you wanted to make any progress, you needed him to get on his good side. That was the only way you could get back to your dimension. 

Nemesis does as he is told and slowly gets closer to you. You can tell that he is nervous by the way his optics try to look at you but suddenly looks away. 

But this time he is more courageous and dares to look at you longer. He analyzes your body and in his collected data, he identifies a peculiar sound. Two heart beats. One belonging to you and the other sounding similar to a spark. 

It was constant, gentle, kind. His sparkling was alive. You were alive. 

Nemesis lets out a heavy ex-vent, his voice glitched as he released his breath of pure relief. 

“I had prayed and dreamt of this moment. Are you certain that this is not an illusion? A dream perhaps?”

“I am very much real.”

“You have to be,” he says. “Otherwise I’ll kill whoever dares to wake me up.”

“You are very different from my Optimus,” you thought how the word ‘kill’ would never come out of intake. “He wouldn't dare to say something like that.”

“You don’t belong to him anymore. The past shall not repeat itself by endorsing foolish ideologies of the past.”

“I never thought your ideologies were foolish,” you say, not breaking eye contact. “I loved that about you.”

“Loved?” His voice glitched and for a moment you saw him again. Deep down on his yellow optics, he was there. 

“My Optimus and I are not on the best of terms. He had broken up with me and then a lot of things happened. MECH was looking for me so I decided to stay with the rest of the Autobots until the baby is born. I’ll be relocated to a new place when the sparkling is here.”

“It … hasn’t happened yet.” 

“I am sorry?”

“My apologies, I am just talking to myself,” Nemesis breaks eye contact and then points at your silver platter.  “Please enjoy your meal. I wish for our sparkling to grow strong.”

Feeling like the atmosphere was calmer, you decided to switch the topic to a more intimate one. 

“Jetfire mentioned that you would like to have more sparklings,” you didn’t know how long you’ll be here so you had to ensure your safety. But you had to be smart about it. 

“Yes, when the time is right.”

“I don’t want to,” you simply say.  “I don’t want to be here just for that.”

“I shall never do something you do not wish,” there was desperation in his voice. Something that looks odd coming from such an intimidated mech.  “If you so wish, I’ll even swear to never speak another word to you. Your wishes are my sole reason for existence.” 

“Just please, allow me to be the one to full-fill every single of your needs and wants. That shall be enough for me. Allow me to be yours and please be mine.”

You have to be a fool to fall for words like that. 

And oh,how stupid you are.

You take a moment to look at him. His blue and red paint had rusted away. Only leaving black and grey colors. He had stopped caring for his appearance and you can tell by the amount of dent and scratches on his body. His broken windows and his battlemask that he wasn’t taken off. 

You wonder if it's uncomfortable for him and you also want to see him. All of him.

“Can I see your faceplate?”

And then … An explosion.

Debris everywhere. Nemesis used his entire body to protect you from the falling ceiling and yet you were still dizzy. Disoriented. The magnitude of the bomb was that enough to hurt any Cybertronian. 

Nemesis falls to the ground, his injuries were too big for him to withstand. 

You couldn’t do anything when a figure came down and grabbed you by the waist. Taking you away as Nemesis stretched out an arm towards you, his pleading optics begged for you to be returned to him. Only for his injuries to get the best of him and make him succumb to his pain. 

You closed your eyes, your body unable to stay awake.

.

.

.

You wake up only to find humans looking down on you.

For  a moment you were thankful. Seeing humans meant that you were back home, right? Maybe everything was just a bad dream.

“Sebastian, run analysis.”

A human male quickly gets close to you. His human eyes suddenly turned blue. Similar to that of a Cybertronian. This took you off guard, and immediately you backed away. 

Seeing your reaction, a female human grabs him by the arm and pulls him back. She looks at you tenderly. 

“It’s alright, you are safe now,” she says. “Sebastian just wants to make sure you or your sparklings don’t have any injuries.” 

Her gentle voice calms you down, but unconsciously places a hand on your belly.  Sebastian, learning from his previous mistake, kept a more comfortable distance. His blue eyes let out a scan light, your body basked on it. It did you no harm. 

“The sparkling is healthy but she is malnourished. Pure organics can’t live off Energon. I recommend giving her a proper meal.”

“Maya, could you prepare her something?” 

Another male asks. He stands in front of you and everyone looks around him. 

“Copy that, boss,” Maya stands up before giving you a smile. 

The male, who seemed to be the leader of the group, stands up as well. 

“Alright, let’s get back to work,” he says. “I’ll take it from here.”

.

.

.

The base was hidden in a cave, on top of a mountain where a waterfall covered the entrance. 

There was as much metal as there was organic materials. With walls made with nails and steel, and flowers where bees were free to feed from. 

But what surprised you the most, was them. 

These humans were not completely human. 

“You weren’t the only one who had a relationship with a Cybertronian.”

You had yet to ask his name but from what you could tell, everyone respected him. He is the captain of whatever movement this was. 

“After Nemesis Prime called the rest of Cybertronians to come to Earth to conquer it, many formed sentimental relationships with other humans.”

The two of you passed by a station, Sebastian was ‘repairing’ the hand of another human. His entire hand, made of circuits, bols and metal but the rest of his body was made out of bone and flesh. 

“That’s Sebastian, designation, Bluewind,” the boss waves to the two and they return the gesture. “He is our medic, his mother was one of the few Cybetronian nurses. His father was a pilot.” 

“The other guy sitting down is Malik, designation, MoonBlazer,” 

You noticed how Malik turned his hand into a modern, alien-like gun. 

“Our weapon expert. His mother was a farmer and his father a Cybertronian smith.” 

You had many questions. But you waited for the leader to finish talking, to first explain his position.

He shows you another section. A woman with scientific  tools and strange liquids in her section. Her table was filled with books and notebooks, written in a language you couldn’t read. Plants all around her and even some insects. 

“This is Shadi, designation RoseStorm, our scientist,” the leader points at a green liquid on her desk. “She’s trying to create some type of synthetic-energon. We don’t really need it since we can also eat organic food but it will create a great negotiation with the other side if she does pull it off.”

“Why are you showing me all of this?” You finally dare to ask, no longer having the patient even though you enjoyed the introductions. 

“Because we are The Resistance and you are a very valuable asset to our cause,” he says.  “We have a few Cybertronians on our side, one of them being JetFire.”

Jetfire’s name made you remember the time spent with him. He had always been kind to you and there was always a curious aura around him. He treated you delicately and the way he discussed nature made you wonder what kind of bot was Jetfire before the war. You can see him as a scientist, always curious, always wanting to learn more.

“He had been loyal to Nemesis all this time until he met you,” the leader's voice is strong and somehow still gentle. Although it didn’t sound mature, you didn’t expect it to be, after all, he looked to be young.  “He contacted us and told us about your situation. Groundbringe explosion, interdimensional time-travel, you carrying the sparkling of Nemesis Prime–”

“Optimus Prime is the father of my child,” you immediately cut him off.  “Not Nemesis.”

“Well, Nemesis is what he is now, and he destroyed this world, to the point that it's no longer habitable for humans.”

There was a sharp pain in your heart. He reminded you of the harsh truth and yet you didn’t want to accept it. You couldn’t believe nor wanted to. Your Optimus, had become that which he hated. And yet, on Nemesis yellow optics, you can see a faint light of who he used to be.

“But you guys are here.”

“We are not completely human,” the leader looks around and so you do. Noticing how everyone used their transforming abilities to accomplish their jobs. “We are hybrids. We age slowly like Cybertronians do. Some can transform certain parts of their bodies. Some more than others. And others like me …”

He makes a pause and puts a hand on his chest.

“We can’t transform at all,” he says.  “Nemesis Prime took my transformation cog the day I was born.”

You will never fully know that feeling. There was a time when Bumblebee was unable to transform for a couple of days. He described it as feeling empty. Like a void. Like you know you are born to do something. One simple thing. But you can’t. Its like having a constant craving to draw but you are unable to pick up a pencil. 

“We’ve been attacking from the shadows, gathering our strength but eventually, we’ll show ourselves to the rest of the world.”

And now, Jetfire’s words made sense. The war wasn’t over but it had just started it. 

“Now that you are here, it is our time to rise up.” 

Unconsciously, his words ran a shiver down your spine. Strong enough that you were sure your sparkling felt it. 

“What are you planning?”

“Nemesis’ dismantlement and governmental surrounder. Right now, I am sure he has his entire Army looking for you. This is the perfect moment to strike. If we take Icon City, we can sneak into the Hall of Records.”

“And that’s important because…?”

“Because there we can find the location of the AllSpark,” he simply says as he walks towards another station. You follow closely, wanting to hear more about his plan.  “And if we find where Nemesis is hiding it, we’ll have all of New Cybertron at our disposal.” 

“And after that, we’ll help you get back to your dimension,” he reaches a desk where he picks up a cowboy hat. Now that you take a closer look at him, he doesn’t have a fashion sense at all. None of them do. It’s not like you could blame them, they don’t have any idea of how humans used to dress. 

 “You don’t hold any responsibility for Nemesis actions nor does your sparkling.”

You stay quiet and look around you one more time. Everything looks so alien to you. It feels off, you know you don’t belong here but you are afraid of how long you have to stay. Your mind drifts to your friends. Are they worried? Is Optimus going crazy? How will you even get back?

“My father used to tell me stories of how great Optimus Prime used to be,” his voice breaks your thoughts, it was comforting.  “So I am glad that in another dimension, he has his happy ending with you.”

You are curious about him. Wondering about the story of the cogless boy that became leader of the resistance. 

“Who was your father, if I can ask?”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself, I am the son of Megatron, Leader of the Resistance,” he says as he puts on the cowboy hat. 

“My human name is Sam, designation, Skylight.”

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Answering Questions you all may have: 

Why do the Cybertronians stay on Earth if they have the AllSpark?

Earth has the biggest source of Energon in the galaxy, however, Nemesis knows it won’t last forever, they have to expand eventually. The AllSpark, is what creates new Cybertronian Life. But in this fanfic canon, the AllSpark can also take lives. Nemesis plans to build a weapon of destruction by using the AllSpark in which he would be able to destroy organic lives in an instant without suffering.  But this idea is still in the works. 

Cybertron can never be habitable again due that the Matrix of Leadership is gone and is needed for the production of Energon. 

How come Megatron is Sam’s father if in Nemesis’ letter, he admitted to killing Megatron?

While Optimus was going on a rampage, Ratchet was able to resuscitate Megatron. (Since the letter to himself was written from his point of view, this wasn’t mentioned) Ratchet tells Megatron to leave and disappear. But as he was to leave the MECH building, he heard the sad chirping of a sparkling. Left in an ammunition box (Probably left behind by a human nurse who felt pity for the baby and wanted to save him from dissection.) And when Megatron picked up the baby, he noticed his transformation cog had been missing. 

Meg thought he had given Optimus the sparkling’s spark chamber but turns out, he actually gave him his transformation cog! He was the first human-cybertronian sparkling so his anatomy was completely different. This one didn’t have a spark but a heart. 

Megs thought of returning the sparkling to Optimus but seeing that Optimus was drowning in madness and grief, he didn’t want the sparkling growing up nor seeing his father like that. So he took him under his wing. (I should written a chapter about this with Meg’s POV but its too late for that now lol)

This is why Sam sees Megatron as his father figure … Megs disappearance is surrounded in mystery. 

And yes, Sam is Optimus and Reader’s sparkling.

…….

… If any of y'all have any more questions, let me know! Honestly, and I mean this seriously, DO NOT expect any kind of well-thought writing in this fic. This was supposed to be a one-shot fanfiction that got turned into a multi-chapter fic due to popular demand. And this is the fic I least worry about. I think it has good ideas and has the potential for more but I definitely don’t have the patience nor time. 

So, this story will conclude in the next chapter … at MAX, in two. 

Now, I have two possible endings for this fic and I want you guys to help me out on deciding which ending I should go for. 

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD, DO NOT READ ONLY IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT TO FIGURE OUT THE ENDING!!!!!

Ending 1: Nemesis realizes his wrong doings and makes the ultimate sacrifice. He is given the ultimatum. Save the world or let his son (Sam) die. Nemesis chooses to save the world and Sam dies, proving once again that he is worthy of the Matrix of Leadership. He accepts the burden and he will atone his sins by continuing living by doing what’s good until the day of his days.

Optimus and Reader return to their dimension and they live happily ever after. 

Ending 2: Sam makes a sacrifice and he is given the Matrix of leadership. Along with Optimus, he defeats Nemesis. But they let him live. After learning that Sam is his son and that Nemesis almost kills him, Nemesis sacrifices himself to save the world. Ending the story. Finally fulfilling your dying wish … to protect your sparkling. 

Optimus and Reader return to their dimension and they love happily ever after. 

Which one do you all prefer or anyone got better ideas?

END OF SPOILERS!!!

…..

Lastly, I feel like I have strained too far away from the original concept of the story and there’s no going back. I may never finish this and if there isn't much interest, then I’ll abandon this story hehe, back to writing my one true love, The Darkest Hour~~~ 

Ok that’s it byeeeee 

Ps. sorry for the bad grammar, spelling and structure and everything :)

.....

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Next: Soon.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Okay Mid Year Here We Come!

Pun intended.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2025 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Knock Out (Fri WeTV ) ep 3 of 12 - Sometimes, on my more philosophical days, I feel like this BL is the backstory of the brother & boyfriend characters who run the gym in Wandee Goodday. 

Meanwhile, massage oil scene with the secondary couple was excellent. Kind of came out of nowhere. (Presumably so did he.) But I’m not gonna complain. (Presumably neither did he.)

My Stubborn (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - Sorn literally cannot keep his hands to himself. This show is the poster child for workplace sexual harassment. That said absolutely every employee seems to be doing it, so perhaps it was a hiring mandate. Company bonus? Your paycheck comes with a side of kabedon?

Pit Babe 2 (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 13 - Serving us a season 2 like no BL before has ever served. I am in awe. Mostly of Kenta's tatas on a platter and the cast joking about them and wardrobe's wholesale investment in their importance. Which is true. Very important work Pit Babe is doing for us right now.

Where was I?

What is happening?

I can’t with the scooters. I just can’t.

The plot (or whatever you wanna call it) continues a pace. There’s a lot of vrooming and canoodling.

Oh who cares, let us return to what really matters - black shirt tata chacha chacha.

Kenta brought a knife to a car fight. Best thing to happen in BL in years: a vroom vroom rescue.

Kim's protective doughnut of Kenta was, in fact, (as the kids would have it) legend. I am officially calling this maneuver the Bangkok Drift (and you can't stop me). I got nothing left to say. It spun out my brain meats.

(I should invent a very strong cocktail called the Bangkok Drift. I'm taking mixer suggestions in the comments.)

Also Kim = brimming with BDE. OMG is this couple BDE vs BTE (big tata energy)? Yes, yes they are.

Carry on Pit Babe, you clearly know what you're doing, even if no one else does.

(I should clearly be doing a Trash Watch of this but it's too late now.)

The BangkokBoy (Sat Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - Ooo hacker cutie, just what we all needed in our lives. Should we talk again about how incredibly hot Top is? Goes without a saying, I suppose. Also too pretty = likely the mole. (Too much to ask him to put that hacker up against a wall?)

I am still very much enjoying this, but I wish it was a bit less gangster and a bit more BL.

Eye Contact (Weds WeTV) ep 3 of 12 - NO SINGING. I figured it out. This is Make it Right goes to college and that's why I like it. That said, the terrible editing is beginning to grate on me. Perhaps if I were able to watch the extended version it wouldn’t be so bad. But as it stands  I’m losing patience with the whole WeTV platform in general, so I won't be upgrading on principle.

The Next Prince (Sat iQIYI) ep 5 of 14 - I'm enjoying it for the fantasy aspect. But we have got couple bloat happening. There’s too many. I am kinda into and excited by most of them (except maybe the leads), but still it’s too much for this show.

They aren’t Pit Babe, they can’t get away with it. (To be fair, Pit Babe really isn’t getting away with it either, it’s just so chaotic it doesn’t matter.)

While whipping boy is a favorite trope, and I did squeak in delight when that dog lead came out - Thailand going kinky rarely works out well for us. This pair is very "someone's been reading too much Slytherin slash."

My Sweetheart Jom (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - It's fine, but pretty missable. I dont get much chemistry from the leads. More parental tolerance meets childishness. I mean, if they’re aiming for a Daddy/brat dynamic, it’s not working.

I like that the same actor is playing the same psychopath in both shows currently airing. Aon is very good at being wild-eyed crazy.

On a completely different note wouldn't he be great as Song Qi if Thailand did a remake of Moon and Dust?

Boys in Love (Sun iQIYI ) ep 6 of 12 - I don’t know. They’re losing me on this one. It doesn’t seem to know where it wants to go or what it wants to do. There’s no major through line. And while that has worked for me in the past with pre-branded existing pairs (e.g. We Are) the profound lack of tension isn’t really working in this show for me. I hate Shane’s parents. Hate them. 

That is all.

Sweet Tooth Good Dentist (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - Jimmy is back, yay! This ep was all backstory and dealing with past drama. I wish we got a little bit more of Sant’s story. But also I am v bored.

The Ex-Morning (Thurs YT) ep 2 of 10 - I don’t have much to say about this show. I found this episode dull. Krist is always the same character in BL, and frankly it’s an archetype that I intensely dislike. More importantly, I always fail to understand why any love interests are ever interested in dating this personality type. Frankly he’s a jerk and a bully. Were this any other couple and any other production house I would have already dropped it.

I Promise I Will Come Back (Mon WeTV) ep 2 of 10 - It’s a bit touristy for me. Look I don’t like seeing anybody’s travel photos, not even my own. This is not a framing convention I enjoy in my BL. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sweetheart Service (Korea Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - this installment was rough, confrontations but also successes. I feel sorry for the bartender character. But it is interesting to watch Strongberry tackle a true love triangle.

It's okay Taeha, there is a whole other cutie just gagging to be taken care of by you.

Just look to the left.

Moon and Dust (China YT) ep 2 of 6 - Is both absolutely terrible and terribly great. All of the triggers! But if you didn’t know that going in why are you even bothering to read my blog? You can't be taught.

Okay so just stepbrothers (not blood related). Fine.

White/black outfits? This is perhaps the least subtle BL of all time.

Fair price, China.

And so fucked up. Bite him! Yay!

Excellent.

None of this is going to end well for any of us but I am ALL IN.

Give me the fuck-up-a-tude. GIVE IT TO ME.

Fight for You (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - This is common with Taiwanese BLs... once they are together and boyfriends they’re absolutely adorable, incredibly gentle, and very sexy - domestically beautiful. Meanwhile, add another to the Official Roster of Fantastic Grans in BL. This one is such a bad ass. Love her and her spoon - we soulmates. I wack at people with spoons if they come in while I'm cooking all the time.

The Sparkle In Your Eye (Singapore Sun Gaga) eps 1-4 of ? - Yet another celebrity BL (trend noted) but I am curious about Singapore's take on the genre. However this is one of my least favorite power dynamics (younger less powerful character has crush on older popular guy who doesn't like him). Also, far beat it for me to predict what a BL from Singapore will be like (when we have had so few) but the fact that they’re speaking in Chinese is indicative that this is gonna have that style, which means I’m not sure we can depend upon it to end happy.

It's airing but......

Loy Kaew First Love (Fri YT) ep 3 of 6 - Didn't drop for me. MDL says it aired but not where (usually means YT or Gaga, but not for me). I’m not particularly motivated to hunt. So I’ll let this one slide until I figure out how to get it or it ends badly and spies tell me... whichever comes first.

Top Form (Thurs WeTV) ep 11 end - Apparently I’m never gonna be able to see this final ep unless I pay for WTVs VIP? Which I’m simply not doing. If their interface or app were better and didn’t crash and have a bazillion other bugs, I might consider it. But the technology is terrible. Can’t condone this kind of behavior. So I guess I’ll live never knowing how this ends. I assume they're happily together blah blah blah.

Season of Love in Shimane AKA Ai no Kisetsu: The Season of Love (Thai) - Sequel to Kiseki Chapter 2 which I intensely disliked. I won't watch this.

Mission to the Moon (YT) 2 of 12 - Watching but I can't keep track. Too short, too many, too YT. I will report at end.

Next Week Looks Like This:

I've started including Thai holidays so we know why something might not be airing that day.

Coming Next Month

(I'm not confident on any of these, mostly rumor-based.)

6/2 Reset (Thailand iQIYI) - Yet another time travel kinda thing this time with Pond & Peterpan (we love this idea) but what a melodrama! And (shocker) celebrity romance again. On the night of his greatest success, famous actor Armin dies after being betrayed by his lover. However, death is not the end. Going back in time and meeting mysterious fan TD, the path to superstardom begins again.

6/5 Ball Boy Tactics (Korea Gaga) - After retiring from gymnastics, Han Ji Won thought his biggest challenges were behind him. Turns out, winning Olympic medals was easy compared to surviving university as a painfully shy ex-superstar. Enter Kwon Jeong U — campus heartthrob, basketball star, and a whole new world of trouble wrapped up in a perfect smile.

6/13 I Became the Lead in a BL Drama 2 AKA Zoku BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita (Japan ????) - Another 2nd season I certainly did not want. This time the story tells what challenges they have to face as a relationship. Also the story of the managers continues.

6/20 Depth of Field (Japan Fuji TV)

6/?? Revenged Love (China) - A remake of 2015's Falling in Love with a Rival. Wild.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Well, see the Pit Babe 2 car rescue. Possibly best BL moment of 2025.

I can't I'm just eating this BL up. It's is beyond toxic. Are we in Forbidden Love territory? Will we go all the way to necrophilia? Depends on who dies first, i suppose.

Oh, someone's dyeing.

It was a really good kiss. As it should be! They have some seriously good "through the net" action to go up against. One of them from Taiwan.

What? It was a GREAT scene.

May I please point out that I called Boat as a great lead for a BL when he was a very minor side (and only good pairing) in the horrendous My Secret Love in 2022? I believe my case was made based entirely on this screen cap:

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[sparrows4bats]

Dragon Head AU

This came to me through music and vaguely inspired by one fic on ao3 I cannot find. I thought I had it bookmarked. Thanks to @peterchubs for listening while this au took shape.

What if, like in Batman Beyond, Damian returns to League to lead it one day?

I think for this AU Damian meets his father briefly, but after seeing that he isn't the perfect heir, he goes back to Talia to reform the League.

Bruce tries to stop him but finds there's not a lot he can do.

Since the year of Blood and Goliath coming into his life, Damian had started to doubt the wisdom of his grandfather. The killing of the Dragon Bats and Damian owns distaste for killing innocents have planted a seed of rebellion. One that meeting his father and seeing how he operated allowed to grow.

Damian believes that the world needs to be protected, that someone must fight for the earth, and it's innocents. He begins to recognise that killing is a hard choice and should not be the first course of action but sometimes can not be avoided.

After he gets back from Gotham, he discusses these ideas with his mother, not sure what to expect. Instead of a lecture Talia kisses his head and tells him that he is growing into the man she hoped he would become. A leader, a true mix of two great bloodlines and ideologies.

Talia Al Ghul looks at her son and pledges to aid his reforms. Talia embraces him as she promises to protect him. Damian learns love from her.

Next, Damian approached Mara, his cousin. It was a tough conversation. Mara is understandablely distrustful of him. The last time they met Grandfather has made them battle, Damian had scarred her and won Grandfather's approval. Something he now gas mixed feelings about.

Mara doubts him at first, and it takes a while, but even her loyalty is tested by Ras orders. Damian is the heir, and if he reforms the League ge speaks off, Mara promises that The Demons Hand will support him.

Over time, Damian gathers more allies inside and outside the League. A girl named Maya tries to kill him in revenge for her father but reluctantly befriends him.

Damian learns more about compassion and redemption from her. They become almost siblings in their closeness. Maya becomes his advisor and spymaster.

The turning point where Damian decides that he cannot wait to inherit the League but must overthrow his grandfather comes when Damian meets his brother.

Damian had heard rumours of his grandfather's labs. A place his mother ensured he never entered.

Damian isn't naive enough to think he was ever exempt from his grandfather's cruelty. But the way the lab in particular was avoided fills him with dread.

He finds it after Maya infiltrates a restricted wing of Nanda Parat. She says he needs to see this now and drags Damian to it.

Inside are pods growing versions of...him? He thinks? And on a medical table strapped down and unconscious is his mirror image.

He boy is taller than him, seemingly older, and instead of his mother's brown waves, the boy has striking white hair that is straight and fine.

His body is covered in scars. Damian looks around and finds files and notes of torture parading as science.

It is in that moment that he decides Ras Al Ghul must die.

Maya gets the boy out and hides him in Damians' rooms where only his most loyal enter, just in case Maya guards him and Damian destroys the lab.

He calls Mara and his mother and tells them that Damian will be the Demons' head sooner than expected.

They launch the attack at Dusk.

It is not an easy battle, but in the end, Damian drives his sword into his grandfather's chest and sets his body on fire, so not even the Lazarus Pit can restore him.

It is not an easy transition. For months, Damian and his family struggle to gain control of their forces and dismantle Ras more insidious operations.

But they manage it.

Respawn or Alexander as he chooses to call himself helps. Damians brother is learning how to exist outside of training and the lab and becomes his Brothers head guard. The two grow close, and Damian learns to be gentle with a boy that was hurt similarly to himself but so much worse.

Damians League is very different from its predecessor.

All jobs that they do are vetted to ensure they don't cause unnecessary damage, targets family, networks, and history is considered.

Life is to be respected whenever possible. For all being. Death is never a first course of action, but Damian will kill to protect innocents and the earth.

They no longer train children. It's not allowed until the person can consent. Any found abusing or hurting their children are punished severely.

There are no more inhuman experiments. Instead, Damian puts the Al Ghul billions into health and climate research. He goes so far as to hire Poison Ivy to regrow rainforests and other suffering botanical areas.

He also covertly funnels money into the green energy sector and lobbying groups for better regulations on environmental issues, health, and care.

Damian invests in communities that safeguard habitats and endangered species. Freeing some from human trafficking and exploitative corporations.

Everyone working in the League or with it observes a strict code of ethics. Their life is forfeit if they are found to have harmed innocents or betrayed their ethos.

The reforms had been thought to be too idealistic. A childish dream. But they work.

The League of Assassins becomes what it was always meant to be, a force for good that operates in the shadows.

Damian is still ruthless. All of his people are deadly, and no one who breaks his rules survives.

Damian wonders if his father would accept him like this? If his improvements are enough?

One day, Maya suggests he will never be a Demon, and Damian is a Dragon. The name sticks.

Not many outside of the Assassin's notice the changes in League at first. Not even Batman.

Damian is 21 by the time he has enough time to consider trying to approach his father again. His mother has not forgiven her Beloved for not embracing Damian all those years ago, and Damian can't bring himself to reach out to the imposing man he remembers.

Jonathan Kent is the first to discover the new Dragons Head.

He only finds out what the League is doing when he interrupts the forceful dismantling of an animal smuggling ring. It is one of the rare times Damian is performing a mission himself but when he heard how many endangered species were being held he left before Maya and Mara could scold him.

Respawn joined him with a laugh and asked if they could stop for takeout. Damian reluctantly agreed.

They are finished dealing with the leader of the traffickers when Superman 2.0 busts in.

He is very confused about finding a masked man comforting an injured baby orangutan while his companion teases him.

It's adorable that the man glares while still babytalking the scared primate.

Jon almost doesn't notice the body on the floor.

"What is happening here?"

The two turn to him and their guard rises immediately.

The one holding the animals clears his throat. "We are freeing these animals, you can either help or be removed Son of Kal El."

"How do you know who I am?"

"It's my job. So are you helping or no?"

Jon glares. "I don't know who you are."

"You can call me the Dragons Head and that," he points behind him "is my guard Respawn."

"Never heard of you."

"I am the head of the League of Assassin's."

Jon is suddenly much more on guard. The man looked too young to be Ras al Ghul.

"Did you kill that man?"

"He was wanted in three countries for trafficking and animal abuse. We offered him a choice, and he decided to attack us." The Dragons Head says reasonably.

Jon sighs, but in the end, the well-being of the animals takes priority right now. He can just try and arrest them later.

A part of him as he looks at the cages, the misery doesn't feel particularly bad for the man.

The Super secures the animals, and when he turns to interrogate the duo more, he finds them missing. With the orangutan.

After he reports the incident to the Watchtower, there is concern all round.

The bats are called in for an investigation. What they find shocks them all. Ras has been dead for five years, and the new head has even more connections worldwide.

They still kill, but they also do so much good. It causes a divide in the Justice League.

Those without a no kill rule suggest an alliance.

Those with one refuse to entertain the possibility.

So, a compromise is reached after days of debate, a fact-finding mission, and a diplomatic envoy to discuss their options with the Dragons Head.

Batman offers to lead it because of his contacts only for said contact to refuse to entertain them if Batman is there.

The League doesn't know the reason Talia Al Ghul glares at the vigilante, but the Batman is forced to stay put. Nightwing takes his place.

Jon is chosen to be part of an envoy to meet the new head, given he met him before.

They are greeted at Nanda Parat by an army. A show of power and strength to the heroes now in their midst.

Jon and Nightwing approach cautiously only for the crowd to part as they approach, revealing Talia Al ghul and a group of young people.

"Richard, good to see you again." She begins.

"I'm sure." The man in question quips.

Before the tension gets even worse, Jon interrupts. "When will we be meeting the head?"

Talia smirks and moves aside. The people behind her do the same. "My son, Damian Al Ghul the Dragons Head."

The man that steps forward is beautiful. Very clearly his mother's son with sun-kissed skin and green eyes. Jons breathe catches.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquitance, officially." The Dragons Head greets them.

They two heroes are invited inside and assign guest rooms. It's not until dinner that any actual negotiations take place.

The League of Assassin's is not opposed to the alliance with the Justice League, but only if their ethics remain intact.

They debate terms for days.

"The League respects life but understands that sometimes you have to kill what destroys the natural order." Damians argues.

Jon fights the urge to raise his voice. They have been going in circles of hours. "Because you never know for sure! You can't be certain that killing won't make things worse or that the person wasn't framed or can't change for the better."

Damian smirks. "That is true for every decision, that if I don't kill than that person kills others because I didn't stop him when I had the chance."

Jon groans. He can find fault in the logic, but some part of him agrees with it. It does not help that Damian is unfairly attractive.

"I'm getting tired of this. Would you like to walk with me to the garden?" Damian asks, gracefully standing and dragging Jon with him by the arm.

Jon finds himself distracted from escaping the Assassin's grasp by the sudden closeness.

They walk together in silence in a courtyard filled with jasmine flowers.

"I admire what you are trying to do. I get frustrated myself at never seeing progress, but ideals can be corrupted. Just look at the previous head." Jon says quietly.

"That is why I am open to trusting heroes. I'm terrified of becoming like my grandfather. If I allow the Justice League to know some of my activities, then there is a check and balance. If I go too far, they will be able to stop me."

"Stop you how?"

"Kill me if necessary."

"What!" Jon is incredulous. Damian looks so at peace discussing his own death.

"If I become what I swore to destroy. Death would be mercy."

Jon doesn't know what to say to that. His eyes fall to how Damian holds him arm still and lays his hand over his.

Jon stays at Nanda Parat for weeks, even when Nightwing leaves.

He and Damian spend every day together always ending sitting side by side amongst the jasmine. Their conversations starts drifting away from either League.

Jon learns that Damian has a small zoo of pets. That his innermost circle consists entirely of his family. That when he smiles, he has dimples.

Jon opens up about his doubts, about his temper and the weight of his fathers legacy.

Jon tells Damian about how he agrees that killing might be necessary but how he fears what he'll become if he allows himself to take a life.

Damian holds his hand and promises that he would never ask that of him.

They strike up a friendship, then something more.

Damian kisses him one day, and Jon sighs in relief.

Jon decides to go back to Watchtower after he receives a call from his father. He promises Damian he will return.

The Justice League makes him report on his findings and then almost immediately sends him to space.

He is away for two months.

When he flies to Nanda Parat Damian welcomes him home.

The two Leagues sign the alliance. Jon is named the diplomat between the two.

Batman meets his son again once the paperwork is signed. It's awkward, but the two are working towards a proper relationship.

Some object, especially after they get married.

People like to think Damian corrupted Jon. But his rage and need to affect change for all has always been a part of him.

Damian is his anchor, his safe haven.

Jon is Damians guiding light.

[starogeorgina]

𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞

Paring: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen reader , Aegon II Targaryen × Targaryen reader

Warnings: Swearing, smut

1.03

“If you come to Dragonstone with me, I promise I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”

Your lower lip wobbles. You wanted to leave with him, but realistically, it wasn’t plausible. “And what happens once we arrive at Dragonstone? Your mother and Prince Daemon just accept me with open arms?”

Jacaerys looks down at his feet. He knew they wouldn’t trust you, nor would they likely wish for you to be in their home. “No, they wouldn’t at first,” he gulps down. “But we could make them see you played no part in the plan of usurping my mother's throne.”

“I didn’t even know my father had died until servants were sent to help me get dressed for Aegon’s coronation. How can I prove that?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“Whatever road I take, I’ll end up in the same situation.” Feeling uncomfortable, you unconsciously pick at the skin surrounding your finger nail until it bleeds. “If I return home without Stark’s backing Aegon, I will need to face the wrath of being a failure and disappointment to my family. If I go with you to Dragonstone, and I bend my knee to Rhaenyra I’m leaving my sister and her children with the vipers.”

Suddenly your hands are pried apart. “Stop hurting yourself.”

The authority in Jacaerys tone takes you by surprise. Like most dragons, he had a fiery temper, but this was different. It was as if he was putting all his built-up rage aside to protect you. Meekly, you say, “habit.”

Jacaerys inspects your fingertips, frowning as he takes in the older cuts along with the newer ones. He turns your left hand over and runs his thumb over your palm. “I remember playing outside in the gardens when you fell and cut your hand. I’m surprised it didn’t scar.”

“I remember…” Despite your eyes becoming glossy, a chuckle escapes your lips. “My mother somehow blamed you for my falling, and you hid in your quarters for days.”

“I hid in my quarters because Ser Harwin saw me attempt to kiss your hand; I thought my mother and father would be mad when he told them.”

You smile; this was the first time you heard his version; all you remember clearly was your mother yelling in the privacy of her apartments that the ‘eldest bastard’ was to blame. “I’m guessing they weren’t?”

“Once I explained that I wanted to comfort you, she went to visit King Viserys and proposed our betrothal.” He lets go of your hands and moves his own up to gently cup your face.

“Things could have been so different if my grandsire hadn’t gotten into my mother's head. Do you think we would have been happy?”

“We still could be.”

You feel as if the air has been sucked from your lungs, making it hard to breathe. “Wh-what do you mean?” Jacaerys couldn’t possibly be implying what you thought he did. “What do you mean we still could be?”

“Marry me, here in Winterfell.”

“You have more courage than any knight I know for even suggesting such a thing.”

A smile curls on his lips. “It’s not a jest. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember; if you say no, I will respect that. But if you agree, for the rest of my life, I will spend every day loving you and keeping you safe. Nobody will ever be able to hurt you again.”

His eyes follow your movement as you bring his fingers to your mouth and plant a gentle kiss on them. “My sweet prince, we cannot. Aegon told me, If I betray him, then it’s your life he will take.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

—

Since Northern wedding vows were shared in front of a weirwood tree in the presence of the old god that they believed in, you wanted to be careful not to offend them with your Old Valyrian custom, so Jacaerys purposed you did the ceremony yourselves, outside, surrounded by nothing but the moonlight and your dragons flying above.

You cut each other's lips with a blade made of dragonglass. Jacaerys cuts his hand and rubs a mark on each of your foreheads to signify the continuation of your bloodline. You pledge to each other, “one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever.”

“I’ve va moriot jorrāelatan ao.”

“My sweet Jacaerys, I feel the same way.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and saying everything you wish becomes difficult. Jace leans down, pressing his cold lips against your own. An electric spark you’ve never felt passes through you; it was strong enough to make the snow nipping at your skin momentarily disappear. You wanted this; you wanted him. Jacaerys finally being yours felt surreal—a dream you didn’t want to wake up from.

He pulls back slightly and mumbles against your lips, “We should go back inside. I don’t want my bride to catch a cold.”

—

Nervously, you walk towards the bed covered in layers of fur and find yourself almost digging at your nails again, but when you feel a gentle kiss pressed to the back of your neck, the tension you're holding eases slightly, but the butterflies in your stomach aren’t completely gone.

“We don’t need to do anything,” Jacaerys says quietly. “We are married now; there is no rush.”

You did want to be intimate with Jace, but now that you were standing here, you felt unworthy of him. Bruises from Aegon holding you tightly still lingers on your skin, and it made you feel disgusting.

“I do, but... I’m afraid of what comes next,” you admit. “The repercussion of—”

He cuts you off with a kiss and says, “Whatever happens next, I’ll protect you.”

For once you hold your tongue, not wanting to loudly question how impossible that would be, You sigh, “I wish I could turn all the thoughts in my brain off, even for a short time, so I could revel in my husband's warmth.”

“I could help with that.”

Curious, you lock eyes with him. “What do you mean?”

“I could make you feel good without having sex, but only if you wish it.”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you nod. You weren’t entirely sure what his plan was, but you trusted Jace enough to follow through with his words. Taking your hand, he guides you to lay back on the bed. He kisses down your neck. “Promise me, you’ll tell me if you want me to stop.”

“I promise.”

Jacaerys kisses down your clothed body until he reaches your thighs. He pushes your skirts up to your waist, then slowly pulls your small cloth down. You await the stinging stretch of Jace pushing his cock into you at any second, but instead you feel his hot breath on your core. “Wh—what are you doing?”

“I’m going to taste the sweetest thing the gods ever made.”

“Do you mean—oh fuck!”

Jace spreads your folds open with his fingers, then dips his tongue inside of you.

“Gods, that feels good!”

One of your trusted ladies in waiting once told you that a gold cloak had ‘eaten her cunny’ and shared how good it felt. Ever since you had been curious about the act, this was far better than anything you could have imagined. Jace hooks his arms around your thighs, holding you in place while turning his attention to your clit and flicking over it with his tongue.

Lewd moans fall from your mouth as the coil in your stomach snaps, and you reach the first climax a man has ever given you.

Jace wipes his glistening lips and chin with his sleeve before moving up the bed and laying beside you. He presses a soft kiss to your lips, then gently caresses the soft flesh of your thigh. “We don’t need to go any further.“

“I want you, Jace; I want this.”

Hearing those words fall from your lips, he quickly lowers his breeches until his hard cock springs free. Jace rolls over, lines himself up with you, and slowly begins to push inside you. His thrusts are gentle as his touch is soft, making you feel cared for, almost safe. Jace peppers your neck in kisses while bringing his thumb to your clit and starts to rub it, taking great pleasure in how tightly you squeeze him. “Gods,” he moans. “You’re so perfect, my love; I think you were made for me.”

Tears threaten to fall from your eyes, but you fight to hold them back, not wanting to ruin the moment. Jace notices and immediately stops his movements. “Am I hurting you? Do you want me to stop?”

“No, keep going, please, please!”

Slowly he starts to thrust into you again; he seems unsure until you wrap your legs around his waist, which encourages him to go faster again. It doesn’t take long for you to reach your peak for the second time, and Jacaerys isn’t far behind.

—

Your fingers glide over Jacaerys bare back as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. The both of you were sticky with sweat, but you’d stopped caring hours ago.

While being so caught up in making love, Jacaerys hadn’t noticed the bruises on your body until he collapsed, panting and gasping beside you. If it wasn’t for exhaustion overtaking him, he would still be expressing his fury.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks, his voice laced with sleep.

“How the sun is rising.”

Looking out the window, you can see the orange and pink hues of the sky, and the snowfall is becoming heavier. You take a deep breath, feeling the cool morning air fill your lungs.

Whatever happens next, you must remember that you’re the blood of the dragon, and you must be strong.

I’ve always loved you — I’ve va moriot jorrāelatan ao

[tvangelique]

hey girly!! i’ve been trying to shift for a couple of years now since around 2020 and i’ve never fully been able to do it i’ve always tried but then i ended up giving up because i was never able to do it and i just recently went to stray kids concert and after that i cannot stop thinking about them and i genuinely want to shift so bad but i don’t know where to start i don’t know how to do it i don’t know what to do at all i would be willing to pay you for advice or maybe just like any sort of help i know you probably get dms like this all the time but if you are able to give me any tips or any help please let me know thank you so much if you did end up reading this

okay. hi, honey. first off, you don’t ever need to pay me for help, this space is meant to be shared. you deserve access to what you need just because you’re here, and you care, and you want something deeply enough to ask for it.

here’s the truth: shifting is a binary. you’re either there, or you aren’t. that might sound harsh, but it’s not. it’s tender, actually. it means you don’t have to claw your way toward it. you just have to let it happen.

so ask yourself gently — what would she feel? how would she rest? would she be desperate, doubting, or would she sit back into herself and know it’s already hers?

shifting starts there. in stillness. in soft certainty. in letting it be real before you see it. think of it like a memory you’re finally remembering, not a door you’re trying to break down. and if you want, here’s a gentle way to begin:

decide. gently, but with finality. like lighting a candle and not blowing it out. you’re not hoping, you’re not trying, you’ve chosen.

assume. you’re a girl lighting candles for her own arrival. start feeling it before you see it. walk through your day like it’s already true. because it is, and you’ve already shifted. and then.

persist. not through struggle. but through devotion. return to her — the version of you who made it — again and again and again. a folksong so etched in your spirit you can’t forget the words to it.

and that’s all. and that’s it. shifting isn’t a burden, or a race. it’s a slow dawn spilling through cracked windows, a wildflower folding open at twilight.

you carry that light already, gently and fiercely. it’s always been inside you, waiting patiently to be remembered.

you are enough. always.

[myfandomprompts]

You Belong To Me Now

Summary: Aemond has become Prince Regent, and there is now nothing holding him from claiming you.

A/N: Quick smutty darkish!Aemond x Reader I wrote, nothing fancy

Words: 2.8k Masterlist [Spanish version - Wattpad by daisy_dont]

Warnings: praise kink, biting, vaginal, bruises, choking, obsession, dom, blowjob

Aemond had been Regent for a few months now, and although the Valyrian steel of the Conqueror’s crown didn’t rest upon his head yet, it was now an undeniable fact to every member of the realm that he had been born for this. All could finally witness his real worth, his superiority and how good he was at being a commander, a King.

No, he excelled at it. The Blacks haven’t even dared to approach King’s Landing even once in the last few months, and under his command all fear him, all obey him. He was far better at this than his father ever was, than his sister ever will be, and certainly than his broken brother is, tucked in his bed.

His new duties obliged him to be away often, to ride Vhagar and lead his armies on the usurpers who wanted to decimate them and take his city, but when he was back in the Red Keep, all he sees is you.

In fact, he wonders why he had never noticed you before as he crosses paths with you in the corridors, watches you in the throne room during audiences, laughing and hugging your lady friends. Maybe you are part of a House who came to the capital in order to help grow his army, that you are the daughter of an ally he had never bothered to be properly introduced to, because this was all they were to him: his subjects.

Nevertheless you are there, bright as the sun when he spots you when he least expects it and, despite his limited vision, he doesn’t seem to miss your presence, ever. He doesn’t miss the way you play with your hair when you're deep in thought, how your hips sway when you walk, how your fingers surround the glass you take to drink and how the skin of your throat glows as you swallow the liquid.

That he became obsessed was an understatement. There was no rest for his mind, and even amidst the excitement of the battle he thought about your appreciative look when he would return, triumphant. He had talked to you once, the sound of your voice making the hair on his skin raise in delight as he was introduced to you. He knew your name now, and he wouldn't stop there, you occupied every corner of his mind and inhabited his skin.

However and to his greatest dismay, the crown keeps him occupied, reducing the occurrences he can observe you, enjoying how you don't cower under his gaze; you staring back at him like it's a game, one that he never intends to lose.

He doesn’t miss the glances you draw from other lords either, eliciting an icy violence deep within his body and it makes his desire for you grow ever greater. He wants you to be his, completely.

This is why he sends for you one night, confident that you cannot refuse after spending the day looking at you like a starved dog, the lust between his legs becoming harder and harder to control. But he was Aemond Targaryen, and what he wanted, he would have. 

When you enter his chambers and he dismisses his servant; you look at a loss, but intrigued, like a deer caught between hounds but you are still composed, the very image of a Lady from a House he had only bothered to learn its name today. All he knows, deep in his gut, is that you are right where you are supposed to be.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

He takes in your looks, the way your eyes glints with curiosity, the heaving of your chest constricted in this infernal gown he only wishes to rip off, and how sweet you look as you blush out of uneasiness.

When you shake your head so softly, he grins before coming to stand before you. “You’re here to help me with a matter that needs tending to. But first, I need assistance removing my clothes.”

The widening of your eyes makes the colour of it stand out better, and he waits for you to process his order and obey, admiring your beautiful features and the way your lips part in shock. “Go on."

He knows you cannot refuse, seeing the slight confusion in your eyes as your hands reach the buckles of his collar, undoing it one by one with your pretty, trembling little fingers. It takes all of his patience to not move his hands over your form and revel in the sight, smiling to himself.

When his green doublet is removed, his linen shirt remains and he doesn’t let you take a breath when you pull away. “It’s not over, is it? Continue.”

You cast an almost fearful glare at him before resuming your task, helping him out of his shirt gently with concentrated eyes and when your skin touches his in the process, he has to stop a shaky exhale from escaping his mouth.

He sees how you look at his toned chest, pale defined arms, and then glance at his trousers with tight lips. He retains a sneer as he turns away from you and towards his bed, surprising you with his sudden departure.

“Do you know how the other lords look at you, sweet thing? How they look and look, like they had a chance with you? Do you know how much they wish they could bury their cocks into you and take you as they pleased?”

You turn a lovely shade of red, spreading from your face to your neck and below your cleavage, his lewd words disconcerting you and your perfect little honour. How he likes it on you, that innocence.

“Of course you don’t,” he continues, taking a seat at the edge of his bed and not missing a piece of your deliciously growing, panicking state. “You don’t care about them, do you? You just care about serving your Kingdom at most of your capacities.”

You swallow, your body noticeably relaxing lightly at his words but the movement draws his eye to your neck and he instantly wishes he could mark you there, right at the junction of it, where a mole he had not noticed before lays.

“My Prince, I-”

“Come here,” he beckons, patting on his lap after your croaked out attempt of a response. He will spare you the need to explain that yes, you do want to serve your realm loyally, and thus serve him as well. 

You hesitate, eyes darting between his legs and his face, and the lust grows at the thought that he might have to make you obey by other means. But at the sight of his hard expression, you have the good sense to approach, slowly, coming to stand between his legs and he grabs your hips at once, lowering you down onto his lap abruptly.

You let out a yelp at that, your legs forced to straddle him and you have to cling on his shoulders for support, face flushed and thinking fast. Aemond, on the other hand, feels every cell of his body come alive, a wicked smile appearing on his face.

“You know, I haven’t been with many women, but you… you’re something else, aren’t you? You make me understand why men look at women the way they do, what they find so irresistible about them....” he murmurs, putting one strand of your hair aside while his eye trails the pumping of the veins in your delicate neck. “Why all of those lords look at you… But they can’t have you.”

His tone is firmer now, unforgiving. “I have a claim on you they don’t have, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence you came here. That you are in this castle, under my protection.”

You seem unable to speak and the little noises he hears as you try to take a more comfortable position on his lap are like music to him, making him harder under his pants. He takes your hips a little too roughly than he intended in order to pull you to him.

“I’ve been thinking about you for days now, and I ran out of patience, so here is what is going to happen, sweetling. You’re going to take my cock, fully, like the sweet and obedient lady you are so I can feel every damn corner of your cunt, deep enough for me to fill you up.”

With his last sentence he pulls you closer onto him so you can finally feel his hardened state and you whimper in shock, the sound resonating into the room like a pathetic echo as he takes in the sweet scent of your skin, his nose trailing your neck hungrily.

“Hmm, my little pet, so flustered…” he praises as you tense on top of him, your pelvis hitting his member delectably. “You didn’t think I rode the largest dragon in the world and had nothing to show for it, did you?” 

He takes a few more moments to enjoy the friction of your layers against his groin, feeling your body turn soft before gently pushing you away from him to let you unlace the ties of your gown with a commanding look. When you are bare before him, he licks his lips, the sight of your pretty little pussy making his now free cock throb in anticipation.

“You are gonna take me so well, you want to please your Prince, don’t you?”

The way you quickly nod in submission destabilises him so much that he has to take a moment before finding his composure again, his desire slowly growing out of control as he stares at you. But he must be patient, enjoy this, because he is no low man, nothing like the rest of them. So he sits back on the bed and invites you to him, noticing your already blown pupils staring at him.

He doesn’t care that you aren’t prepared, that it might be difficult for you to take him this early because the urge to sheath himself deep inside of you is too strong. But when you hover over him and your folds meet his tip you are so fucking wet that all his fears are swept away, replaced by the indescribable lust that takes hold of him, eager to have you, exactly like you want him.

The sensation makes him unable to concentrate before he puts his hands on your thigh to help you down, and it’s absolutely amazing. You’re warm, tight, right for him; the sweet moan that escapes your lips making him twitch as he looks at your knitted brows that tells him you are feeling him, truly feeling him. You go achingly slow and he can’t help but hiss in frustration, but at this point you deserve to have your own pace; he will be able to take his due later, when you’re accustomed to him.

He can tell from your expression that it hurts, and it makes his loins surge with fire at the thought, the wickedness of it so darkly satisfying. 

“That’s it, all of it. You’re doing so well.”

He finally feels resistance nudging at his tip and he knows you are completely his now, looking at his cock buried deep inside your cunt and you let out a high pitch moan when you still, flesh against flesh in the most deliciously painful kind of way.

It feels right, he can almost feel your heartbeat upon his length and when he slightly withdraws in order to surge his hips forward, instantly hitting your depth hard, you wail loudly.

Aemond laughs as he squeezes your hips harder. “My sweet pet, so beautiful for me. How is it to feel it so deep? Do you want to move for me?”

He grunts when you start to move; he doesn’t have to do anything, your warmth and slickness making him absolutely wanton, and he doesn’t think he had ever felt this complete in his life. It allows him to look at you, take in your bouncing breasts, magnificently round, and he can’t help but reach for them, propping himself up on a sitting position before biting one of your nipples hard, and the sound you let out makes him want to do it again.

But for now he wants to mark you everywhere, your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, your delicate shoulders. He wants to cover you with his tongue and bruise you while you ride him so exquisitely, his mind foggy and half conscious. He feels your nails digging into his back when he sucks at the base of your neck, leaving a trail of drool that covers your skin. He bullies your breasts for his own pleasure and his cock feels every one of your jolts, squeezing him.

He makes you swivel, his length briefly sliding out of you before he lays you down on your belly and enters you again, lacing one arm behind your back to help him pound into you mercilessly, taking full control for the first time and it feels so good that a shameless growl resonates deep within his throat.

“You’re married, aren’t you?” he asks with a grin, admiring your back and the curve of your ass.

“Promised…” you pant through your moans. “To Lord Blount…”

“I see… Then Lord Blount will have an assignment in a land far away very soon,” he purrs with arrogance as he quickens his pace.

The new angle makes you moan loudly, your position seemingly uncomfortable enough to make each rocking of his hips like it’s the last you’ll be able to take. Soon you’re clenching around him, screaming out loud while your shattering orgasm turns you into a puddle in his arms when he lifts you against his chest, whispering in your ear.

“Fucking hell, you like that, don’t you? You couldn’t help but come all over my cock like the good lady you are.”

He keeps jerking his hips until you grow completely silent, feeling his legs momentarily weak when your walls give him a particularly strong squeeze and he withdraws.

You’re unable to move so he lets you lay back on the bed as he examines your folds, red and swollen from his brutal pace and he passes one finger between them to gather your slick. You moan at the sensation as he tastes you, licking his fingers hungrily.

“Bloody Seven, you taste delicious,” he praises as you try to find your breathing. “You’re mine from now on, understood?"

He barely acknowledges the curt nod you make before he laces his fingers around your neck, drawn to its softness and the bruises that begin to form there. He strokes the column of it softly, thoroughly, before grasping the base of your throat so he can hold on to it, hovering over you as he slides gently into you again, your folds spasming briefly from your aftershock. He sees you close your eyes, hiding your beautiful irises from him and he wishes you would look at him, something you do when you feel his hand around your neck constricting.

“Aem-” you let out.

“What is it?” he asks, watching your lips make the most amazing sounds he had ever heard while he rocks into you, his weight on your neck. “Is it my name you want to say? You can scream it if you want.”

But you don’t, to his greatest displeasure, apparently unable to do so as your features stiffen, so he snakes a hand to your dripping cunt, zoning on your swollen clit and you tremble beneath him. When he works your bud, fingers circling it at an unrelenting pace, your lips form an “o” and he decides here and there that he will cum in your mouth. For now, he concentrates on the roll of his hips and the movements of his fingers, one over your neck and the other making you grind onto it in yearning.

You are at his mercy.

“Will you scream my name now, pretty little thing? I can feel you close…”

It takes a tremendous effort from his part to not come undone himself when you finally do, trapped at his own game as you pulse around him, your back arching, and the way you finally cry out his name doesn’t help the little restraint he has left. He growls when you go limp under him, unwilling to let go of your neck and overstimulated bud as he works you through your climax.

“On all fours,” he commands when he finds enough composure to speak, propping himself up on his knees on the mattress and daring to pump himself a few times while you do as told.

He instantly comes to grab your hair, your expression completely in disarray from his brutal ministration on you and, when your mouth meets his weeping head, he can’t process anything, the contrast between the intensity of your folds and the soft warmth and slowness of your tongue killing him. He has the greatest desire to buck his hips into your mouth, to take it all, but your tongue traces along his throbbing vein right before you suck at his most sensitive part and he finishes right there with a croaked moan, painting your mouth with his seed.

You are both panting hard, and when he looks at you behind his hooded eyes, admiring his work, he brings your chin between his fingers and wipes your lips, glossy from his release. “You’ll be there each time I come back, won’t you, pet?”

You nod frantically, exhausted before falling on the bed next to him.

A/N: Thank you @babyblue711 & @arcielee for the beta reading, so much <3

[royalsweetteaa]

sadbucksblog asked: Ok here’s a thought that’s been running through my head. 1940s steve forcing himself on shy!innocent!reader and forcing her to marry him. Later when reader found out that he ‘died’ (during the plane crash), she was secretly glad. But surprise surprise Endgame steve came back to return the infinity stones n decides to stay with his widow for good.In my head, endgame steve is meaner & more jaded 😈

Oh, definitely!! Endgame Steve gives the most dom vibes out of all his previous versions. If reader thought Steve was bad in the 1940s, she has another thing coming when he returns. His stay in the modern age has corrupted him more and made him kinkier. Like imagine the things he would do against 40s reader now that he knows how to pleasure a woman, because I know for sure they didn’t care about that stuff in the 40s.

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

WARNING - Following contains: non-con, explicit smut, forced marriage, misogyny, 40s gender roles, dom/sub dynamic, dom!Steve, unbalanced power dynamic, mentions of somnophilia, slight bondage, dumbification, loss of virginity.

Title: His return

I imagine with this scenario, Steve liked Y/N a lot before he received the serum. You were so sweet and actually nice to him unlike the rest of the girls, but whenever he asked you on a date, you would reject him, saying you only saw him as a good friend.

And so after he got his super soldier strength, he expected you to like him back, because all women love strong and masculine men who can protect and provide for them (at least that’s how the gender norms were back in the 1940s). So imagine to his surprise when you kindly reject him even then after he has become a living female fantasy.

He literally cannot contain his fury and forces himself on you the same day, ignoring your pleas when you beg him to stop because you wanted to save yourself for marriage and give your virginity to someone you love.

“Don’t worry, my love. It’s not a sin if we end up getting married. You will take me as your husband or I’m going to tell everyone how much of a whore you are for spreading your legs so easily for me.” Steve threatened.

You were so scared, and knowing you had little authority in this situation, you did as he said. You knew no one would side with you if you were to protest against the new hero of the country; Captain America.

A month later, the two of you married and became husband and wife. Steve made you into his little house wife, and for each mission he came home from, he would fuck you for hours until you passed out. You were so clueless of the things Steve did to you sometimes, like whenever he would thrust inside of you in a specific angle causing you to feel an arising sensation from your abdomen. You didn’t know what it was, but it felt good no matter how shameful you were of it.

Whenever you accidentally dropped something, like a plate of food or when you burned dinner in the oven because you forgot the time, Steve would punish you by harsh spanking, telling you how bad of a wife you are for messing up your husband’s food. You would cry and apologize profusely until he stopped and left you with a sore butt.

He would also take you when you were fast asleep. You were a light sleeper, and only would you wake up when he jackhammered into you, causing a burning feeling around your sore pussy. Steve was huge due to his bodily enhancement, and it took a while for you to get used to his size. He would hardly talk when he fucked you as his only mission was to cum for relief. Steve was a busy man after all, with the war still ongoing. The weeks he was gone were the most peaceful times of your life ever since Steve took claim of you.

One fateful day, a military personnel visited you at your house and gave you the unfortunate news of the Captain’s loss. You shedded tears, but not because of Steve’s death. It was rather because the nightmare of a life was finally over. You felt relieved knowing Steve could never put his hands on you ever again.

2 years pass by, and you have all forgotten about Steve Rogers. You would occasionally see his face on posters and articles, and while it brought back some of the trauma, you always reminded yourself that he was gone for good.

At least, you thought he was.

It was a day like any other in your small little suburban house that you moved to after selling Steve’s house, and you suddenly heard the doorbell ring to your front door. You shouted ‘coming!’ to whoever was waiting outside, and turned off the temperature of your oven where there were freshly baked cinnamon rolls waiting for you later.

You open the door, and it’s like your whole world shatters before your eyes. There he was, your unmistakably still alive husband standing there. He looked more older, and it was only 2 years ago he was announced dead.

“Hello, my love. Have you missed me?” He asked darkly. You shrieked and tried to escape through the back door, but it was too late. Steve ran after you and grabbed you around your waist and held you down on the floor, preventing you from struggling away.

“That is no way to greet your husband after thinking he was dead for such a long time. I expected better from you, my wife. Maybe you have forgotten who you belong to and I need to give your dumb little brain a reminder.” He said, and carried you upstairs to your bedroom.

He threw you onto the bed like a rag doll and started to tie your wrists with velvet ropes he had brought with him to the headboard. This was new to you from all your previous experiences of having sex with Steve, and it scared you. “S-Steve, what is this?..what are you-!”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard and make you wish you never pulled that little escape stunt earlier. Silly woman, thinking you stand a chance against me. You’re mine, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure your dumb head understands that.”

He ripped your clothes off harshly, and he unbuttoned his trousers to free his cock from the restraints. You expected him to penetrate you like he always did before. That was the only type of sex you two were familiar with. But this ‘new’ version of Steve had different plans.

Your eyes widened when his face lowered at your pussy, causing you to feel distressed. “W-Wait, don’t do that!…I-It probably smells, I don’t want you to get too close to it!”

“Oh, Y/N, my sweet wife. You’re so clueless. What I did and did not do before I disappeared was when I was a boy. But I’m a man now, and I’m going to teach you so many things of how we can pleasure each other.”

His tongue stuck out of his mouth and he licked a stripe of your cunt, causing you to cry out a moan. You have never felt anything like this before. It almost felt unreal. It only got worse when his tongue glided between your pussy lips, gathering all your juices for him to savour.

“You taste delicious, my love. There isn’t a thing that’s more tastier than your sweet pussy…” he mumbled into your sensitive skin.

Steve never talked like this during sex, and somehow you preferred him not to talk because it made it easier to not enjoy it. This Steve however was making it harder to hate it with each new thing he did, and it made you feel horrible about yourself.

Suddenly, Steve used what felt like his thumb to rub at a particular spot. It caused your whole body to jolt at once like you were electrocuted, and you felt an overwhelming heat spread across your whole body.

“Do you know what this little pearl is, doll? It’s called a clitoris. It’s your most sensitive part of your pussy, and it will only be recognized as what engorges your wetness and surrounds your vagina in 2009 - about 70 years from now on. It also has about 8,000 nerve endings, which is why you become so sensitive when I touch it. Isn’t that fascinating, my love?”

You didn’t pick up a word of what he was rambling about because you were too out of it from his circling motion of rubbing your pearly nub. You couldn’t stop moaning and panting. Again came that familiar feeling of a rising high. Before you knew it, the feeling hit you like a wave and you felt your hole quivering.

“Aaaww, you just came. How cute….” He cooed, with a victorious grin. “Now, let’s get to the main course of this session. Haven’t been in this pussy for a loooong time. And I’m sure you’ve been a good girl not having anyone else inside you, right?”

You didn’t respond to that question, still pretty out of what had taken place moments earlier.

He slapped your cheek lightly but harsh enough to take you out from your daze. “Answer me, whore.”

“N-No! I haven’t, Steve! No one has been inside of me since you disappeared! I promise!” You answered with frantic.

He smiled again. “Good.”

He aimed his cock at your hole and shoved himself in with little care. He groaned loudly, sounding so content with the current feeling. “Oh, I’ve missed her…missed your pussy so much…I’ve missed you..” he said followed with a grunt. “I’m so glad I’m back. Back together with you.”

For the rest of the evening, he would torture you with new tricks of his that opened a new world of sex for you. By the end of the night, Steve had you wrapped in his strong arms, whispering the most obscene things and promises in your ear. Most of them were connected to one promise that made you dread for the future.

A promise of never leaving you ever again.

Note from author: this turned out a lot longer than I originally planned but I really enjoyed the concept and couldn’t help myself. I’m a hoe for endgame AND 40s Steve.🧍Anyways, thank you @sadbucksblog for sharing your idea! <3 Hope you enjoy it!

(This has been reposted here as I have deleted my old account!)

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <3

[bluenerdd34]

Hi could you write romantic headcanons for bassie from dandy's world x a reader that is very affectionate to her and also ends up constantly be her her side when they are both twisteds.

So… uhm. I may or may not have not read the Twisted part. Uhm. I’m. Im sorry I didn’t read-.. I can write a Twisted version of this if you want but this is what I made.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of course 😈😈 *Aggressively throws these head canons and you and runs away to my silly little hiddy hole*

GENERAL:

Bro she is so sweet just give her some love ☹️

Quite literally cannot stop thinking about you, sweet girl would give anything to be loved by you 👊💗

Her love languages is gift giving, quality time, and physical touch.

She absolutely ADORESSS pressing flowers with you <3 But sometimes it’ll switch to some flower crowns!

Her feelings of romance in general is kinda shy. I feel like you would be the first person she had ever fallen for.

She tries to compliment you any chance she gets. It’s typically clumsy, words stacked on top of each other in a swirl of stutters. But she tries 😞

Overall, she loves you very very much and would do anything for you 💗 ..Besides being nice to Cocoa but you get my point..-

PRE-RELATIONSHIP:

It honestly took her a WHILEEE to even realize her feelings. Let alone confess them to you.

She eventually figured out her feelings due to Eggson, Flyte, and much to her dismay, Cocoa.

They found out due to her constant fidgeting and blushing whenever you were brought up or talking to her.

Honestly, let’s be so for real right now.. She didn’t confess anything. Our boy Flyte probably did it for her 🏃‍♀️💨

He stopped you in the hallway and let you know about Bassie’s feelings. Whenever you tell him you like her back, he nods. Seeming happy for his two friends.

Bro RAN to Bassie to let her know that you returned her feelings 💯💯💯

You then met in person and talked about your guys feelings and that’s what really began to relationship 😈👊

RELATIONSHIP:

She isn’t major of cringy nicknames (She at least things their cringy) she typically goes for shortened versions of your name or “Love”

She is really into showing her affection to you. She prefers it in private but she typically cannot battle the need to cuddle into you in the middle of the lobby.

Speaking of cuddling.. She doesn’t have a preference for big or small spoon… At least that’s what she tells herself. She absolutely melts the millisecond she’s cuddled up in your arms.

With her love comes jealousy, typically with other mains or Cocoa. She’s afraid you’ll leave her for one of them because she’s too dependent. 

If she hasn’t gotten her needed attention, she will quite literally pounce on you whenever she finds your sitting alone in a private place. Pure loving. You’re not escaping her until she’s gotten her daily affection.

(As mentioned before) The biggest problem about your relationship is the jealousy. Bassie keeps it to herself, but you can tell with the way her grip on your hand tightens. She typically becomes more aloof or rude whenever she’s with the toon or the said toon is mentioned in a conversation.

To conclude the head canons, Bassie is very sweet and loves you with all her heart. Give her some time and she’ll gain more trust. She just needs love and patience, if you have it, it’s a 10/10 relationship ngl.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Snow Angel

Gwyane's Version

I'll angel in the snow until I'm worthy but if it kills me, I tried.

Gwyane's Version ❄ Daemon's Version ❄ Aegon's Version ❄ Aemond's Version ❄ Jacaerys' Version ❄ Cregan's Version ❄ Criston's Version

Gwayne Hightower x Reader | 700< | cw: fem!reader, servant!reader, angst, violence, blood, death, typos, etc.

A/N: renee rapp my beloved.

Frost was coming for your lips. You wouldn't be able to speak even if you tried. Your body was shaking; your clothes were muddy and torn.

It's ironic how it seems you would die in the filth after all the efforts you took to afford perfume, to rise in station, to reach him. And now look at you, you were bloody, beaten, and begrimed.

You flinch when you hear the dungeon doors open. You curl your knees deeper into your chest, fear causing your shivers to intensify. You barely have the energy to make out a word, but you do, for the sake of living, "please."

You hear a faint a voice. You force yourself to look up when you recognize it.

Gwayne looks at you, crouching down as he holds onto the bars of your cell. He calls out your name, and you feel yourself grow nauseous. He reaches out a hand to you, beckoning you over. You do not go to him. You do not wish to soil him. You do not want him to see you like this.

"Darling," he urges with his palm, "come to me."

You shake your head rapidly.

Gwayne gulps, waiting for you to change your mind. You don't. He grips the bars and clenches his jaw, "my father spoke to you."

You feel a chill run down your spine.

"What did he say?" he asks, as if he didn't know exactly what his father wanted from you. Still, he waits a response, to no avail. He sighs, "did he ask you to confess?"

Confess? There was nothing to confess. You were wrongfully sentenced and tortured. For what? Even now, you did not know.

The man feels his body tighten at the silence. He chews his lip before asking, "do you trust me?"

You turn to him, eyes watering.

If he professed the sky was red in the morn and yellow in the night, you would believe him. The things you did all to become Lady Alicent's handmaid, to be near him, to please him, to have him... you nod your head.

Gwayne stands, eyes still on your pitiful figure, "when my father returns, he will make you plead guilty. I want you to admit to it."

Your face drops.

"He would not hurt you. He will lose me if he does... he cannot lose his heir."

Your body was too weak to weep. You simply stare at him as your insides corrode.

"Will you do it?" he asks, tilting his head.

You turn to your knees. You watch them tremble. It's not like you had a choice. You shudder as a chill ripples through your body. You nod your head, curling into yourself.

He gulps at the sight of you. A line forms in his brow, "it will not be long... I will free you, I swear it."

He does. Everything he says comes to pass. Otto Hightower returns, face grave as ever. He asks if you will confess, and without missing a beat, you nod. Without another word, he releases you, and you are dragged out of your cell. You have to be taken by the arm to stay upright, too weak to do so on your own.

You flinch at the daylight, and though your eyes were irritated, you were relieved to see it. Otto, who walked before you, stops, sequentially turning to the guard escorting you. You are pulled back.

He walks forward, and your realize Gwayne is speaking to him.

Without warning, you are winded. A body numbing pain rips into your gut and you are no longer cold. Suddenly, you are incredibly warm; you feel it gushing down your belly. The guard withdraws his blade, wiping it on his sleeve before sheathing it.

It takes you dropping to the floor for Gwayne realize what's happened. His is too shocked to act at first. He reels back before dropping to his knees to cradle you.

He glares at his father, "did you have to kill her?!"

"She confessed to the crime. The sentence is death."

"She only confessed because-"

"She confessed."

Gwayne rocks you, eyes watering, "you told me I could keep her."

"You intended to marry he-"

"I DID NOT!" he snaps, turning to his father with a face of fury, "I would have kept her my servant, my maid..."

You manage to brush hand on his shoulder. He looks back at you.

"But she would be m-" he does not continue his words as he watches your eyes close.

[thewoollyviking]

Wanted to take a point I made in a reblog chain and make it its own post because I feel it put to words something that’s been bothering me about SU and the Diamonds in particular.

The Diamonds did not actually mourn Rose for those thousands of years after the war. And trying to get us to sympathize with their grief while turning around to denounce Rose felt so incredibly tone deaf.

Let me explain a bit why I feel this way…

So, according to the art books, all four Diamonds are rough around 20,000 years old. To give you an idea how old that is compared to irl history…

There are figures early humans carved from mammoth ivory and spear tips carved from flint that were made when the bottom of the North Sea was still a mammoth steppe in Doggerland.

Subtract the time Rose spent on Earth after the war (give or take a few centuries) and assuming the craptastic treatment she endured under the Diamonds has pretty much been the norm for all that time, and she had been abused for roughly 10-12,000 years.

Rose’s abuse predates agriculture and written language.

I. Do not. Give. A single. Chicken. Fried. Fuck. How sad or sorry the Diamonds think they were after losing Rose.

Oooooh booo fucking hooo Blue sulked in the middle of a human zoo Rose never even wanted in the first place.

Yellow knew Rose wanted to spare Earth and apparently thought the best way to honor her memory was to blow it the fuck up.

And White’s first action seeing “Pink” return was to send a mind controlled version of her original Pearl to greet her as a power move. To remind her what happens when she doesn’t control her power.

They didn’t mourn Rose. They mourned the person they wanted her to be.

I struggle to think of any other example of behavior both in the show or just in fiction altogether that’s this self destructive, self righteous, and self entitled.

This wasn’t morning, this was a 5,750 year long temper tantrum from the three of them.

And that’s made all the more clear once they realized Steven isn’t Rose.

Barely a few years after the end of season five and they seem completely unphased by the revelation that Rose really, truly is gone. And that her passing was not the act of some rogue gem, but their own abusive behavior chasing her away and being haunted by personal demons they inflicted on her.

Nope, their only goal now is getting Steven to take her place and live with them.

“Aww Pink’s gone? Gee that sucks. Welp, time to find a new pink!”

Suddenly now that they don’t have some villain to blame for their misfortune, they’re all too happy to sweep it under the rug.

Fuck dude, some people mourn Healthcare CEOs more than the Diamonds actually mourned Rose.

And yet the Diamonds get that nice fairy tale happy ending where they can be quirky space grandmas who think what they’re doing will ever hope to make up for the suffering they caused.

Meanwhile, Rose’s own loved ones feel like they have to apologize for daring to mention her in a positive light and worry they’re making excuses for her.

The Diamonds have been the instigators who made everything worse without fail. They’re the reason Rose came out as such a broken fucking person and yet we’re asked to pass more judgement on her for not being enough of a perfect fucking princess to solve things Steven’s way?

Rose spent her entire goddamn life clawing her way out of that pit of misery but we’re supposed to scoff at her for getting mud on her dress along the way?

What the fuck was the point in showing that Rose spent that lifetime trying to be better to just end it with “maybe her family would be better off if they just stopped thinking about her altogether.”

I still love this show. But I cannot and will not ever be able to rewatch Future.

The Diamonds are a gaggle of entitled, selfish, miserable, wretched hags. All of the grief they endured was entirely their own damn fault and they only have themselves to blame. They do not deserve a single fucking shred of sympathy. Especially not if the show wanted to end with leaving their most notable victim on such a bitter, hateful note.

[scorpioriesling]

Enchanted

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Rhysand x reader

Warnings: fluff

Summary: Every birthday girl makes a wish... yours has been the same for years. One you began to doubt would ever come true; but what happens when it does?

SR’s Note: I am honestly giggling and kicking my feet over this one, and lately Rhys hasn't even been my favorite... I don't care. I like how this turned out. Based on Enchanted by Taylor Swift, of course. Enjoy (:

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Everything about the final day of Autumn was as it usually was; the cool sun bathing the Velaris cobblestone in light, the crisp breeze ruffling your hair, causing you to pull your cloak tighter around your shoulders. Even the townsfolk presented the same familiar faces you’d seen nearly every day now on your way to the public library.

Today was a treat; the day before your birthday, of course. The first day of the Winter season would mark the day of your birth, and usually you’d spend the day before spoiling yourself as you’d usually end up having to work on said birthday. This year, it was no different.

That is, before two large Illyrian warriors donning seven gleaming siphons each landed right in the middle of the square, their enormous bat wings spread wide. The townspeople, as well as yourself, whirled in shock at the sight. After straightening, the taller one (Cassian? You thought?) cleared his throat.

“Greetings, Velaris,” he said, voice echoing down every corridor and alleyway around you. Every wide-eyed fae stared back in awe as he looked from person to person.

“As you know, the High Lord will be having his annual Winter Ball tomorrow evening,” he continued. You’d known; it was an annual tradition. One you’d always ended up working as the bakery your parents owned supplied the delicacies for the event.

“…andddd this year, the High Lord has made it very clear that the celebration is to be extended.” He coughs. Gasps and murmurs begin around you, and you glance side to side as chatter begins.

“The ballroom cannot accommodate all of Velaris; so only a select few will be receiving invitations.” The spymaster calmly cuts in, and the chattering crowd around you stops. All eyes return to the pair in the middle of the street.

“The festivities are to be celebrated here in the city, though, should you not attend the ball,” Cassian fumbles. His brother raises his eyebrows, releasing a breath and gazing at the crowd once more.

“If you’re to be invited; you should expect to receive an invitation in your mailbox by this afternoon.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

You practically jumped on the mail man when he approached your drive, scaring him half to death as his letters tumbled from his hands.

“I’m so sorry! I’m, um… just, really hoping something came for me today.” You laugh sheepishly as he thrusts a pile of letters into your hands.

“Yeah, you and every other female in Velaris.” He continues on his route with a hmmph, and you begin anxiously thumbing through the letters.

You almost trip when you finally make it back into your small flat, sitting at the kitchen table. Your hand shakes as you get to the last envelope in the pile, only one elegant word written across the front of it.

Y/N.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

“I don’t know if that’s the right… I don’t know, color?” Your best friend eyes you in the mirror, and you twist to one side, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

“Maybe not. I don’t know, it’s just not quite… right.” She says, the statement only a repetition of how your morning’s been going. You’ve spent the entire morning trying to find a gown for the ball tonight, but every single one you’ve tried just isn’t quite… the one.

You let out a frustrated sigh, and your friend / shop owner flits toward a wall of dresses, brushing through them once more.

“I feel like I’ve tried on a million,” you say. She returns just a moment later, a lovely steel silver gown in hand. You raise your brows at her.

“Yes, but, it’d be dress one million and one that might catch the High Lord’s attention.” You can’t help but blush, turning from her. It was no secret you found the High Lord of the Night Court quite intriguing; Gods, half of Prythian did.

She tsked at you and shooed you towards the dressing chamber, only for you to reappear a moment later in the gown. She didn’t hide back the gasp, or stunned expression on her face as you approached the mirror to look yourself.

“Oh come now, it can’t be…” But, it was. Seeing it in the reflection, you understood her reaction a little more. You were breathtaking; this one. It had to be this one.

You spend a good few minutes twirling, admiring the gown hugging you in all the right places. You finally glance down at the price tag, and your heart sinks. It was way too expensive.

“I don’t think I can…” You say. Your friend shakes her head, leading you back to the dressing room to change.

“Nonsense.” She says. You stare at her, a blank expression on your face.

“I can’t afford it.” You say. She only winks at you before shutting the chamber curtain, allowing you privacy.

“Consider it a birthday gift!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

You'd never been to one of these before; not coming from a wealthy family, or even being High Fae yourself, there was never any reason to attend such an event held by Night Court royalty.

Yet, here you stood. In front of the polished black gate, separating you from the awaiting festivities inside.

"Uhh.. miss?" You turn, to see another guest had silently approached at your side. "Are you going in?"

You nod. "Yes! Yes, I'm sorry if I held you up-" He shakes his head, a small smile offerred to you as the gates open and he steps beyond. He looks over his shoulder to you.

"No worries... but, I think it's beginning soon?" You hear the groaning of the iron bars and quickly step inside, keeping in step with this new aquiantence. You politely converse until you've reached the main building, and females in lovely gowns pass by you. You nervously look around; maybe you should've prepared better for this.

"I'll see you around," with a small wave, your company stalks off toward a group of males he seems to know. You sigh, taking in the beauty around you. The gleaming faelights, all of the attendees meandering around you, the scent of jasmine in the air-

"I personally want to thank you all for your attendance tonight," you hear, and the room is instantly filled with silence. All eyes are peering toward the front of the room, and the crowd shuffles together to hear the speaker more clearly. You try and get a good look, but you can't really see over everyone's heads.

"I haven't had one of these events in a while where I get to invite our court's friends to join us, and as this marks the first night of Winter," the voice drawls. It sounds lovely, as though it was coming from a cello - deep and smooth. Not like the sounds from Azriel or Cassian, but this one was much different.

"...we are very happy you're all here. So, let the dancing commence!" And with that, the crowd is in a frenzy, chattering and partnering off for the first dance of the evening. Your cheeks heat in embarassment as you realize you have no one to dance with, and you recede towards the stone wall to hide in the shadows for this one. You feel a light hand on your elbow, and you whirl around to come face-to-face with the kind male from earlier.

"I don't have a partner either..." He says, his cheeks flushing rosey-pink. You give him a soft smile, your embarassment fading with every passing second.

"I'd love to dance with you." You slide your hand into his and pull him to the middle of the crowd, just as the music begins. His hand rests on your lower back, the cold metal ring on his finger sending a chill up your spine. You suck in a breath as he pulls you closer to his chest.

"Is this... alright?" He asks. You nod, resting your free hand on his shoulder. Now that you're close to him, you get a better view of his face; his sharp jaw, auburn freckles dusting over his nose. His sultry amber eyes that match the flaming locks upon his head; he truly is beautiful.

But not the reason you came tonight.

He engages in polite conversation as you continue the waltz, asking you about yourself, laughing and making light jokes with you inbetween the spinning and dipping as the music intensifies. You laugh with him, appreciating him more and more by the minute. When he's turned you around, his back to the dias at the head of the room, you swear you meet those violet eyes, staring right back at you. Maybe you're just thinking wishfully, maybe... maybe he is just looking at everyone, but he looked irritated, besides the sweet sentiment he'd made before.

You have to look away, your partner realizing you're staring.

"Is, everything okay?" He politely asks you. You nod, reassuring him everything was. But it wasn't. You were living in this moment; the music, the liveliness of the room, the way you were pushed so close with this male's hand on your waist-

But it still wasn't who you wanted.

You wanted him.

His hands on you. Your body against him. His eyes looking into yours.

You felt like a fool for thinking that coming here would change anything for you.

"I, uhm," your partner fumbles for words to distract you. "I didn't catch your name?" He asks. You meet his gaze, smiling again at him. You knew the High Lord wouldn't need or want you, so you may as well make the most of your night while it lasts.

"Y/N," you reply. He grins.

"What a lovely name," he tucks a flyaway tendril of hair behind your ear, eyes catching when it is exposed. He immediately sees it is rounded; and shame courses through you again as you know he is High Fae.

He clears his throat. "What a beautiful name," he reiterates. "...for a beautiful girl." You can't help but blush at his words, this male is laying the flirting on you thick. Doing quite well at that, too.

"Why thank you," you say, voice feeling small. You didn't register that the song had already changed, your bodies abseltmindedly falling into rhythm as you continue to sway with the music.

"I should probably relieve you from me," he says, dipping his head and huffing a small smirk. "Had I known who you were, I would have let you dance with someone else. I'm sure Rhys will have my ass for this anyway," he concludes. You furrow a brow, as the song engages in the final chorus.

"Whatever do you mean?" You ask. He opens his mouth to answer, but clapping erupts and conversations get too loud around you. What was he even talking about? You'd never met the High Lord, not officially, anyway. Maybe in passing, but there was nothing there.

Suddenly the room feels too small, too warm, his hand on your back feels like fire and you feel like you are sweating. You could pass out, you just needed a minute to breathe and get out of this crowded room.

"I have to um," you shout, over the loud conversing around you. "I need a breath of air!" You say. He nods, and pulls you close, hands still holding yours.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He politely asks. You lean back, meeting his eyes and shake your head.

"I'll be fine!" You say loudly. He nods, and you lean up and kiss his cheek. "I'll find you later?" You say, and he grins at you. What a cutie.

You search for an exit, clammy hands brushing the sides of your skirts. You find an open doorway, and travel down a side hall that leads to an unmarked door. Chest tight, you open it -- revealing the most wonderful sight you've ever seen.

You step out onto the stone terrace, walking all the way to the railed edge to get the best view. You let out a gasp; you can see all of Velaris from here. Soft music echoes from beyond, and you watch as a single shooting star stretches across the sky.

"This is, my favorite place to see the whole city too." You turn abruptly, not realizing someone had followed you. You stare in shock as Rhysand leans against the open doorway, arms folded, and one ankle crossed over the other. You immediately get embarassed again, remembering this is his building and his terrace and you were out here without permission-

"No need to worry, darling." He strides over to you, and you feel a tiny tickling inside your head. Your fingers brush your temple on instinct, and you remember that he could in fact see what you were thinking.

"Enjoying the ball?" He asks, his silky tenor causing your attempt to clear your mind to fail. You huff, turning back to the city beyond. He puts his hands on the balcony railing next to you, one hand nearly brushing yours.

"Oh! Um... yes. Yes I have been." Your mind flashes to the dances you'd shared with the readhead, how he held you, and how you'd wished it was Rhys the whole time...

Clear your mind, Cauldron! He could easily see what you were thinking.

"That's... great." His sudden clipped tone had you side-eyeing him. The night seemed to radiate off of him, the onyx crown atop his head gleaming in the moonlight. He was definately intimidating, but you remembered what your new friend said. Did you even catch his name? No. You were too focused on the High Lord, though this other man was nothing but nice to you.

Cauldron, boil you.

"Can I ask you something?" You say. He angles his head to you, a small smirk pulling the corner of his lips up.

"You'd like to know why I asked you here tonight?" He answers. You gape at him, and he chuckles, the sound like soft rain outside an open window.

"How did you-" You begin, and he turns to you, a hand tracing his knucles down the side of your face. You flush at the contact, as this was something you'd only ever hope for in a dream.

"This... is something we can work on later." He looks at the top of your head, the idea of mind shielding grazing your brain.

Has he been inside your head this whole time?

You almost feel violated; if it was anyone but him, you'd tell them to leave you be. But... you couldn't. He was finally here, with you -- but, you can't help from a little bit of your attitude peeking through.

"If you wanted me here so damn bad, whatever the reason may be," you start, pulling back an inch from his touch. His brows raise in amusement. "Why were you pouting about in there? I didn't even see you dance once." You finish. His gaze softens, and his free hand brushes yours on the railing. The hand that once grazed your cheek is now gliding down your arm, tracing over every inch of exposed skin.

"The partner I wanted was already taken." He answers lowly. You don't miss the way his eyes darken a bit, and you bite the inside of your cheek hard to try and stop from freaking out and dissolving into a puddle right then and there.

"Well..." You begin, taking one step closer to him. The soft scent of sea salt and nectarines graces your nose -- of course, one of your favorites. His gaze stays locked on you, drinking in every inch of you with his eyes.

"I'm not now." You say, as confidently as you can muster. His lips twist, trying to supress the huge smile he eventually allows to take over his face. You can't help but smile back; his gorgeous features only more enticing up close. His hand slips around the curve of your waist, pulling you in closer. Your breath catches, as his other hand guides your idle ones to his neck.

"I've waited much too long for this," he says. You are sure you look like a tomato; there was no way he was fawning over you like this. The way you'd done, every night in your room; every day in Velaris, constant reminders of him all over the city; every year when you'd use your bithday wish just to see him, just once -- and there he would be, waltzing into your parents shop before the ball as if he wasn't reducing you to mush each time.

"I'm not very good," he admits with a small laugh. You don't know what the hell comes over you, but you don't allow him enough time to read your mind before the words are spilling out-

"I don't need good. I need you." You take the lead, swaying to the distant music from the walls beyond and streets below, and he only follows. Its his turn to feel flattered, as his hands gently trail up and down your waist. You try your best to keep from shaking in excitement; but it isn't long before you see another star flying across the sky. He glances in your line of sight, grinning and letting one hand go of you. He takes the gleaming onyx crown off his head, replacing it atop yours, tucked behind the brained crown near the top.

You stare at him wide eyed as he pulls your body flush with his, leaning in to whisper, "I'm enchanted to finally meet you," as his soft lips lightly graze the shell of your ear. You can't help but let out a small chuckle, not knowing if you are going to cry or not. You could; you'd only wished for this very thing for years and years.

"You truly are a princess," he drawls on, fingers tracing your jaw lightly. His gaze flicks to the star trailing across the sky, and back to you once more. "One that still needs to make her birthday wish."

Your hands play with the soft hair near the nape of his neck, eyes loving the way he practically wills your mouth to his. It's like there is a thread, a rope connecting the two of you, and he is using his end to pull you closer, closer...

He finally kisses you, softly cupping your jaw as your hands slide down his chest. Pressed against him like this, that rope feels more like a threat tied so tight, golden aura coming from deep within you at the scene around you. He slowly pulls back, eyes searching yours for reassurance. You only reach up and swipe a tear away from his cheek, the new feeling connecting the two of you reassurance enough.

"I don't have one this year; it has already come true."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 长安十二时辰 / The Longest Day in Chang'an.

The Longest Day in Chang'an is a 2019 historical drama about a rugged soldier guy who gets pulled off of death row in the morning by a clever little twink in order to stop a terrorist attack that's going to unfold over the next twenty-four hours.

This show is the most Western c-drama I've ever seen. It's a high-budget, high-action tale that branches and weaves and barrels right through a real setting, mixing historical accuracy with action-packed sequences full of anachronistic explosives and mechanisms. Watching it is an experience much like playing a Triple-A video game, to the point where I'm surprised they haven't made a video game version of it, considering their other tie-ins.

Despite similarities in context and setting, this is not the cerebral tension of Nirvana in Fire -- this drama is much more visceral. Sometimes you can tell it's dedicated to going full speed ahead with the narrative just so you don't stop to ask, wait, but why is he doing that? The Longest Day in Chang'an has no time for your pesky plot questions! We've got a city to save and a day to do it in! So if you're up for a thrilling ride through the Tang Dynasty, strap in for five reasons I think you should watch this one.

1. Have you ever seen a show so beautiful you started crying?

Well, now you have.

I cannot convey in words how lush and elaborate these environments and costumes are, nor how stunning the lighting and cinematography are. But don't worry, the drama does it for me with glorious minutes-long single shots that track the action through the most complicated sets I've ever seen a television production use. At many points, it feels like watching a stage play, or maybe even a ballet. The scene choreography alone will take your breath away.

My main comment about this show is, it absolutely didn't have to go that hard. But it did. And we all get to enjoy it.

2. The world's most fuckable protagonist

Yeah, sure, there’s prettyboys aplenty out there in the c-drama world, swirling around in long robes and giving the demi-girlies gender envy. Zhang Xiaojing is butch hot like suns are hot. He is a dirty DILF with battle damage who flings himself bodily into danger at the slightest opportunity. He mumbles and sneers his way through most conversations. You can smell him through the screen.

When we first meet Zhang Xiaojing, he's just been sprung from prison, where he's been awaiting execution for plot reasons. The offer is simple: Something real bad is about to go down in Chang'an, and he's being given the opportunity to stop it. He's not bargaining for his freedom -- when this is over, he will be returned to death row. Everyone, including him, is very clear on this matter. He is simply being given a chance to do some good before he dies.

Everybody onscreen with this man clearly wants him to toss them over his shoulder and have his way with them. He quickly accumulates a harem of a beautiful boy-twink, a powerful girl-twink, an autistic archivist, his goddaughter, [spoiler], and a literal Prince of Persia, all of whom want his to fuck him so bad it actually makes them look incredibly smart, because you're like, yeah, jumping on this guy's fat dick would be the best life decision you'd ever made.

Because this is a Boy Show For Boys, gay things are unthinkable -- which (as I said in my Sand Sea rec post) flips right around to making everything unintentionally really really gay. If you're a fan of intimate male friendships and ride-or-die loyalty between men, this show will keep you happy for a good long while. And I'm sure it's largely the circumstances, but I tend to read Zhang Xiaojing's sexuality as Busy, Come Back Later, for both his general disinterest in the women who keep throwing themselves at him and how the few times he sexually harasses that girl-twink sound more like Captain Holt expressing desire for a strong, female woman with nice, heavy breasts.

Speaking of the girl-twink, her name is Tan Qi and she's incredibly badass. Given my general ish about c-drama het romances in general, I was surprised to find myself rooting for this pair of partners -- because partners is what they are. There are several points in the show that only work because each of them can pick up the other's cues without missing a beat. They each save the other's life more than once. And -- and this is the best part -- they don't stop the plot to do a romance! They're just going to do their fake-marriage routines and move on, because what's more important than wanting to bone is how they've got a city (and a boy-twink) to save.

Here is the boy-twink. He is seventeen. Someone please care him.

Zhang Xiaojing is one hell of a kickpuncher. He gets into well-choreographed fights about once every third episode or so. There are so many manly brawls in this one, where he just takes on a dozen guys at once. And it's not without breaking a sweat! He gets hurt a lot in the process! This is a man who understands from the get-go he's not supposed to get of this one alive, and he acts accordingly.

What makes him so compelling, though, is that he's got a good heart. Time and trauma have rotted a lot of him through, but at his core, he's a good person who wants to save innocent people, with no thought of reward. Everyone else wants to get him out of his death sentence, while he's accepted his fate. He just loves this city and all that it represents, and if he can exchange his life for it, he will.

He is also A Friend To Dogs. As though he could be any more perfect!!

BY THE WAY, TINY IS FINE

When Tiny the dog (that's Tiny up there) was introduced, we were worried. Would this be an excuse to hurt Tiny? No, Tiny is fine. Tiny makes it out okay. He does his job and gets to run around and even gets some delicious meat. Tiny is a very good dog.

3. That flippy kid from Persia

I cannot believe how hard fandom is sleeping on the BEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SHOW.

I'm going to call him Isse, because that's what the Viki fan subtitles call him. The characters for his name are 伊斯 (yī sī), so, you know, make of that what you will. Even though he's a minor character who's only in a few episodes -- few enough that I actually had trouble finding any good images of him -- he absolutely steals every scene he's in.

Isse is hilarious. He is the show's comic relief at some key moments. I'm not even going to tell you all of what he's got up his long friar-robe sleeves, because some of the reveals are just too funny, but suffice it to say, he is a gem. Isse is the perfect foil to Zhang Xiaojing's serious, mission-focused personality, because he's just following along like an eager little puppy who just really wants to play fetch with the handsome and dangerous man he's just met. The show's writer is an insane genius for knowing that the drama needed a little levity and choosing to impart it in the form of a Nestorian Christian friar who does parkour. (He literally says the word "parkour.")

And yes, he is gorgeous. The show knows that he's gorgeous. Several characters bring up how gorgeous he is, including Isse himself. It's never not funny as hell when it happens.

He's also far from the only central Asian character in the mix. The first arc in particular revolves around the community of Zoroastrians living in Chang'an. When was the last time you saw something that featured a bunch of Zoroastrians? It's great! I love the show's multicultural Chang'an -- and how the multiculturalism is a feature, not a bug. Part of why Chang'an is worth saving is the rich variety of humanity that it contains. It's not a perfect city, the show has no illusions about that, but it's still a very good one.

Isse's appearance is where the show's video-game logic really kicks in, enough that I feel almost certain that calling him a Persian prince and then having him do somersaults off rooftops must be a reference. No Sands of Time for him, though. We've got a twenty-four-hour clock at play, and it runs forward only.

Anyway, I do not know why the #1 AO3 relationship for this show isn't an OT3 featuring Tan Qi (very upset to discover how heterosexual all this is revealing her to be), Zhang Xiaojing (gay? ace?? and surprised to find himself attracted to a woman), and Isse (bisexual celibate, just happy to be here). Y'all are going to make me do all the work myself.

4. It sounds amazing

The score is incredible. I mean it. I haven't been this blown away by the music in a c-drama since Guardian. The overall sound of it is very much like classic a Hollywood film score, except that it's working with a lot of instrumentation and intonation choices that make it distinctly Chinese. The composers even take a number of its more traditional-sounding tracks and re-orchestrate them into modern versions that play over various closing credits and emotional scenes. The combination of old and new, east and west just makes me so happy! I love a good fusion!

Here, I found a couple of playlists so you can give it a listen.

If you know anything about premodern Chinese music, you can hear that the score isn't period-accurate, nor is it trying to be. Instead, it's keeping up a very good approximation of what eighth-century China might have sounded like, interpreted through enough modern sensibilities and orchestration and singing styles that contemporary ears don't have a whole what's all this noise, then? reaction to it.

After all, we've all grown up with certain ideas about what film/television scores sound like when they're trying to set certain moods. We've seen enough well-soundtracked movies to know what certain musical cues and tones "mean." The music here holds to those unwritten rules while still sounding like it belongs in its setting. I think it's a really successful balance, enough that I think it deserves its own selling point in this post.

There are also a couple of diegetic performances in the show, which are delightful to watch. Frankly, I wish there'd been even more! But at least you get to see a pretty cool Battle of the Bands happen in the middle of a public street, which is great.

Ooh, and apparently all the lyrics (except obviously the English ones) come from Li Bai poems? There's a neat bit of history for you!

5. Prestige Television ... with all the bullshit that implies

So much about the filmmaking in Longest Day in Chang'an is deliberate. This show is an actual carefully built, carefully segmented narrative where each episode has a reason to be its own episode, complete with abstract little teaser at the end of each one.

If you are a fan of Asian dramas (and if you're following this account, I'm assuming you are), you know that this is not always the case. I bet you know well the experience of trying to share a beloved series with someone, only to wind up white-knuckling as you pray you don't lose them during the janky parts.

The Longest Day in Chang'an is not one of those where the quality is going to turn off the unexperienced. It is, as I've said about Beyond Evil and What Did You Eat Yesterday?, a series that can be handled by Your Average American Television Enjoyer Who Can Handle Subtitles. It's got a very Western narrative logic to it -- which it should, considering that the idea behind it was literally "24, but in ancient China." It is so engrossing that the odds are pretty good you won't even notice how the core whodunnit plot falls completely apart at the end. (Which, yeah, it does. More on that in a moment.)

Now, you do have to suspend a fair amount of disbelief when people travel distances in artificially little time, or hear about something that just happened on the other side of the city. (A lot of this suspension of disbelief is necessitated by how hard this is trying to mimic 24, and by how much you cannot mimic both the scope and the urgency of 24 in a world without cell phones.) But whatever! This is what I mean about the video-game logic of it -- sometimes you just have to move people and ideas from one place to another, and to hell with the practicalities of it. Characters have to walk their way all across town when the plot calls for something to happen while they're doing that walk, and when the plot doesn't, they get to fast-travel a bit.

Look, I'm a simple product of the US public school system. My academic expertise is in a completely different ancient part of the world. I almost entirely lack historical context for what I'm seeing here. I have almost no pre-existing opinions on eighth-century Chinese dynasties. A lot of the characters in this are (or are almost) real people (as @tendaysofrain, @endlessthoughtsofafangirl, and @siumerghe have explained, thank you all for that!), and nearly all of that was completely lost on me while I was watching.

However, the show mostly manages to hold on by giving you the basics and trusting that's enough to go on. And you know, most of the time, it is! I didn't read any of those posts about who the real people were until I was done with the show, and I don't feel I gained a huge amount of plot-clarifying information from finally knowing the historical antecedents. (This is not always the case with shows by this writer -- I'm looking at you, Wind Blows from Longxi.)

There's also a bunch of other named, recurring characters running around, making Zhang Xiaojing's long day better and worse in equal measure. The show does a great job of making you care about them too, which is good, because they pop in and out of the plot all the time -- and every one of their actors turns in a stellar performance. Seriously, I can't think of a single cast member who was a dud. Sure, some of them are hamming it up a bit, but it's obviously in response to some very deliberate instructions from the director. No one feels like they've been given a task they can't live up to.

In choosing the pictures to include in this rec post, I've been intentional in leaving out images of several characters, especially the antagonists. Partly this is because people's allegiances change and I don't want to spoil anything. But also, you should experience the eye-watering hotness yourself, in context. Not to be a lesbian but, &c.

That's another thing I like about the show -- a whole lot of everyone is attractive, but in real actual-person ways. They look like people you'd meet in real life instead of posed models that have been airbrushed within an inch of their lives. Only one character looks like he's fresh off the assembly line at the boy-band factory, and that's the boy-twink, who is fresh off the assembly line at the boy-band factory, and you know what? It's perfect for his character. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast collectively inhabits a wide range of diverse places on the fuckablity spectrum, and it's great. Whatever your horny tastes are, this drama's probably got something to match them.

Is the Longest Day in Chang'an what you would get if you rolled together Die Hard and like three different Assassin's Creed games, dressed it in hanfu, threw a shocking amount of money at it, and aired it on HBO? ...I mean, yeah, basically. If that description sounds at all like a wild good time to you, then you should absolutely come sink your teeth into this beauty. It's the most fun you can have while trying to stop some really hot people from assassinating an emperor with a spectacularly over-the-top Rube Goldberg machine.

...God, she's about to say something about the ending again, isn't she?

Of course I'm going to say something (incredibly vague) about the ending. You know this by now. Skip to the bottom if you don't care.

Okay, so the first time I heard about this show was from my older colleague, born and raised in Shanghai, who told me that it was very beautiful, but that many people had problems with the ending, because they did not find it believable when one of the hero characters turned out to be on the bad-guy side of the story. And that was literally all the information I had going into it.

Well, now I've seen it for myself -- and I've had it explained to me that apparently there were a lot of last-minute changes made so that the internet did not guess where the story was going. If you know Game of Thrones, you know that's the kind of bullshit that made the end of Game of Thrones legendarily shitty. This doesn't go quite that badly for this drama, but it definitely makes it so you have to stop caring about the larger machinations behind the whole terrorist plot by the end. There's so much BUT WHO WAS BEHIND IT??? hollering throughout the show, and you can tell it's going somewhere, and then it gives a complete non-answer while yet another thing semi-anachronistically explodes. The end!

I return as ever to my stance that if you know a show is going to disappoint you, you paradoxically cannot be disappointed by it. Appreciate it for what it is, don't get too invested in the idea that it will come together at the end like some genius jigsaw puzzle, and have a delightful time! I know I did.

Ready for a day trip?

It's not surprising that a big-budget piece like this turns up several places. Apple TV, Viki (how we watched it), and YouTube have it for streaming, and Prime Video has it for purchase. Viki doesn't translate the episode titles for some reason, though, so be sure you're following along with those somewhere else, because they're meaningful enough I wish we hadn't missed them.

They're also apparently making a Longest Day in Chang'an 2? Or they've been teasing it for the last three years, anyway, so maybe it'll exist someday? Eh, I'm not holding my breath.

I'm a bit startled by how little fandom there is for this show -- AO3's got 263 works listed for it, and when you sort it by English, that cuts results to 46 (except it's really 35 because 11 of those are labeled as being in English when they clearly aren't). I can't recall ever seeing it mentioned on Tumblr without my going looking for it. I'm expecting this rec post will get maybe a dozen reblogs before it peters off into nothing. And that's a shame, because I think this is a very fun show that has lots of potential for fandom goo to stick to it! So come join me and make some English-language nonsense about it!

Taste the Tang-y rainbow.

[jmdbjk]

Cannot wait...

Still a month away from watching these two be their adorable goober selves together:

I keep telling everyone around me I'm going to be insufferable for a while, with Jimin and Muse coming soon and then these two together, week after week ... makes me giddy. Sorry, not sorry.

We'll get teasers. I'm going to squee over all of those as well. Again, sorry, but not very sorry at all actually.

All of it takes me back to when I realized JK's 2022 Vlog was going to be centered around camping. Honestly? I was a little surprised. He has never come across as the outdoorsy type to me. But he'd never had the chance to express much of what interests him outside of BTS and outside of what we saw on various content through the years either!

This series of vlogs helped us see each member doing things they chose to do on their own and helped kick off the "solo" era in 2022.

Jungkook's delight in stopping at Korea's version of Buc-ee's and buying gas station food and eating to his heart's content was oddly satisfying. Maybe because I take great pleasure in doing such simple things too, after all, the best part of a road trip is stopping to buy snacks along the way, am I right? The service area where they stopped is called the Gapyeong Service area on the Seoul-Yangyang Expressway (60). These places are like a food court/mini mall. Just like Buc-ee's.

I am already laughing at the thought of he and Jimin stopping at a grocery store to buy deli pizza in Connecticut... IT'S GOING TO BE WOEFULLY SUBSTANDARD I FEAR!

In his 2022 vlog, Jungkook helped set up the camper he slept in and cooked and sat around the campfire drinking. And we know in past Bon Voyage seasons and other content, they've pitched tents and slept outdoors. All of these things he must have immensely enjoyed if we might be seeing them again soon with Jimin.

Then there's the recent story going around about someone spotting he and Jimin returning their rental car in Japan and learning Jungkook was driving... Jungkook got to drive on the "wrong" side of the road in Japan! He put that international driver's license to use finally!

From the preview clip the other day, it appears Jungkook also got to practice his motorcycle handling skills. Handling a Harley Davidson is a bit trickier than handling a smaller motorcycle. Those things are heavy. And it's a little different when you have a passenger sitting behind you. The two Harley helmets we saw sitting on the edge of his sofa last year... yep, he's had practice.

TMI: I was today year's old when I learned that motorcycles are banned on major roadways in Korea.

Are we going to see how Jimin scraped his knuckles while snorkeling on Jeju?

And that nekkid-in-bed live when Jungkook was begging him to come over and Jimin told him to look at the photo he sent... did Jimin get a black eye from being elbowed when they were sleeping?

And as I was running through my blog posts, I realized all of these things I previously said last year:

Me wondering if their trip to Japan was unstructured and spur of the moment...

I wondered if Closer Than This was a pre-release to an upcoming album...

I'm thankful to Tae for bringing JK along with his Wooga friends to that ski resort back in 2022. We can't know if JK had ever snowboarded before that but it appears he loved it enough to want to stick around long after they left him there. And now he had the chance to do it again with Jimin! I know they had so much fun together. At the beginning of this year, I pointed out some fun facts about Sapporo...

Skiing? Snowboarding? All of the above?

And save this for future reference, it's the onsen resort image we heard about and I mentioned in a weekly Bangtan report this past February....

Maybe none of the above will be accurate, but thinking about how much fun they had anyway has me very excited for August 8.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/18/2025

much like phil, i feel like i cannot quite ever get physically comfy this week. something is always not quite right.

listening: god save the queens by vienna vienna

reading: love's harvest by peggy j herring

watching: cinderella

playing: pokemon

making: return of the baby blanket

listening

im going to start out a little bit mean and say that this self-described glimmer rock song, God Save The Queens by Vienna Vienna, really shone in the ten-second social media clips i saw of its live version. the actual studio version sucks so much. and even the full version of the live version, i want it to me slightly different but in a way i cannot articulate. i am excited to see if other people start covering this in fun ways and maybe it'll be the rare song where i like the cover much more than the original.

I saw a man out in Hollywood He carried a sign that said he hated me I said, "Please, get in line" He stopped to ask me a question He said, "Do you know Christ?" I told him, "Maybe I do, does she work the nights?" He said, "No, I mean Jesus" I said, "That guy was tight But I'm not living in a city built upon your lies" He tried to save me, but somebody already did last night They said their name was Alex, baby, and they showed me the light

like here's the studio version. give us nothing i guess??? i think if you are going to sell merch with GOD SAVE THE F*GS censored out maybe you should say that in the studio version of your song. this is probably a label decision but i want this song to be about 15% less corporate sponsor of a pride parade than it is. i feel like this song got heavily edited from a first draft and i would have liked to hear that probably much angrier first draft. hell of a hook though.

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reading

this gay and/or lesbian romance and/or erotica project is turning into a little bit of a slog, so with the gentle encouragement of @sybilius going "what if you read good books you enjoyed?" going forward we are going to try a novel of dubious quality from my shelf and an acclaimed queer novel from history in the hopes that one of them will be tolerable. so next week we have the dubious pairing of a mob girlfriend in WITSEC romantic thriller from my shelf, and Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe has just come off hold.

last week's assigned book was Heart on Fire, which was supposed to be even!! better!!! than Naiad Press's previous bestseller Curious Wine by Katherine V Forrest. so of course we had to detour to Curious Wine, which had a very short hold time.

reader, i did not finish this book. seven (7!) different women are introduced in the first chapter with almost no physical or clothing descriptions. they are all extremely mean to each other in the way older women who are dissatisfied with their life often sabotage all their relationships. i didn't have it in me to make a cheat card for myself with who the fuck each woman was, bc i expected somewhat lighter going in a contemporary romance with no extra genres tacked on top.

i am glad i did not continue bc while reading reviews everyone mentioned the Graphic On-Page Sexual Assault??? and this is still somehow every older lesbian's favorite book??? truly the times have changed.

Deep in the heart of France's majestic wine country, the sun drenched hills and lush vineyards of the Jeton family estate seem like the perfect setting for a passionate affaire de Coeur. But the life of workaholic winemaster, Nicole Jeton, is anything but romantic. From one harvest to the next, she runs the world-renowned winery, cares for her invalid father, and bails her no-good brother out of trouble—never stopping long enough to consider her own needs and desires. Until she meets the lovely Camille Cartier...

thank you girls. Love's Harvest by Peggy J Herring is one of the books acquired by Bella when they bought out part of Naiad Press. originally published in 1997, this 156p book was reprinted in 2007 with no additional changes or author's notes. it is the same quality as all the Bella reprints: a kind of terrible to hold perfect-bound softcover. i am beginning to suspect i simply do not vibe with the naiad and/or bella publishing market. i may not be their intended reader. im not really sure who their intended reader is, except maybe the 1997/2007 version of people who patiently comb through self-published kindle ebooks? what is the point of having a physical press and an editor if you can't make the line breaks and the quotation marks correct?

i couldn't find out much about Herring except that she died last summer and was part of her own tuesdaypost endeavor:

To further enhance communication within the women's community, [WomanSpace San Antonio] newsletter staff initiated a regular event known as Tuesday Night for discussing topics affecting women's lives. Topics ranging from real estate law to rape/incest were prepared for each Tuesday session. As ties to related community resources and events increased, the Tuesday Night events were superseded in 1995 by other events and meetings for the lesbian and gay community.

i did not like this book. such a wild amount of somewhat disjointed events take place during this novel and i really wish it was good. there is a for-real ghost, her great aunt killed by her grandfather and everyone just kind of shrugged about it??? that can dramatically interact with physical objects and STOPS A MURDER??? people are so calm about this ghost as a daily fact of life when there is exorcist level shit going on in the foreground. nicole has to cancel one of their weekend getaways bc the ghost is simply too on one and she can't figure out how to explain the ghost to camille, a presumably more normal outsider who presumably did not grow up with a ghost. the ghost is not the focal point of this book but it is by far the most interesting thing in the book.

this book felt like a barely fleshed outline. they go here. they do this. they see that. here is a great example of a section where i would have loved more elaboration in literally every sentence. the build up to this call and the call itself could have been a full chapter instead of half a page.

the least amount of dialogue i have maybe ever read in a book, and even fewer thoughts or feelings or interiority. the sex scenes read like stage direction. which is crazy bc they start fucking on page 42 and keep fucking every time they meet. they do NOT waste any time which was really refreshing. if only it was hot.

things mostly seem to happen to vineyard owner nicole— taking care of her dad (who dies quite early in the book) and the vineyard, her brother randomly shows up instead of her summoning him back to get some emotional closure (he doesn’t even show up for their father’s funeral), her gay bestie summons camille back after the third act breakup instead of nicole doing any emotional work and reaching out herself. everyone has at maximum one thing going on at a time that is neatly wrapped up before the next thing happens.

i think the 3.3 on goodreads is overly kind, but people seem to really love her other books so what do i know. maybe all these books ended up at the thrift bc their original owner was unlucky enough to somehow pick the worst book from each author and had to unload them.

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watching

Cinderella (1950, dir. Geronimi, Jackson, and Luske) was on in the background while i was wrangling my bestie's children. probably the least scary (if you are not quite six or not quite two) disney princess movie. the bubble sequence makes me insane in a good way. i think this sort of thing is so easily replicated digitally that it looks unimpressive in 2025 but this shit is 75 years old!!! we were nineteen years away from landing on the fucking moon with a computer outpaced by my current microwave!!!

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playing

having a real brain time with pokemon. i was gently bullied into playing the app two weeks ago by my best friend's husband after trying and failing multiple times to get into the actual video games, but after getting the 45 wins i needed to get the fanciest current event emblem i went ok great! i won pokemon! i am done with pokemon! and have sort of mentally checked it off in my head. anyway i loved my murkrow/toxicroak combo. loved to flip a coin. loved my darkness deck apparently.

the deck autobuild feature is really great bc i am able to basically hold my own while knowing nothing about pokemon other that what ive culturally osmosed. im assuming this is a pretty fun app if you like this sort of thing and your brain chemicals are balanced without outside assistance.

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making

the baby i started this mint green baby blanket for is about to turn two in a couple weeks. better late than absolutely never i guess. my original notes called for 10 repeats but i think we're going to up that to 12, just finished the ninth repeat.