I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions, but I have been already working towards this, so I’ll offer it up anyway: I’m trying to read more. As a kid I read almost constantly. And then I started high school and college and I didn’t have the time or energy, and got out of the habit.
But in the last couple of months, I’ve been reading more. In my current job, which I only get to work about every other weekend anyway, I sometimes have twenty or so minute of down time at a time, often multiple times a day, between calls and tours, and it’s not retail so nobody minds if I’m reading my book since I’m also fully getting my work done. So I can put books on hold online at the library, and then when they’re ready, stop by and pick them up in the morning on my way to work.
And it’s been incredible. Because I love reading. Not even just the stories themselves, and I admittedly don’t do a lot of deep analysis of themes or anything like that while I read, because I just so enjoy even the act of reading, diving into a whole new world and losing myself in it a little bit.
I’m a very quick reader and as a kid I would bike to the library with my sister and we would come home with a dozen books each, almost more than we could stand to carry in our backpacks, and then we’d go back the next week. I am quite sure that there are more books that I read in their entirety and remember absolutely no details from at all, totally and completely wiped from my mind as if they never existed, than many people have read ever. And I loved it. When my mom put her foot down and said we could only bring home eight books each, I would decide between books based on how big they were.
I’m more selective now, but I’m still a quick reader. When I pick up a book in the morning and bring it to work I almost always finish it that day. And I’ve read so many good books! I finished Becky Chambers’ Wayfarers series. I read a couple of Dara Horn novels that I really enjoyed. I absolutely devoured Mary Robinette Kowal’s Lady Astronaut books (and then received the full set for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, because I loved them so much I had to have my own). I’m two books into Rebecca Roanhorse’s Between Earth and Sky trilogy, which is fascinating, and does have such an interesting and different flavor from a lot of European fantasy that I’m sure a reader more interested in analysis than I am would be able to pin down in better words but which I’m just enjoying the ride with.
I can’t tell you how good it feels to be reading again. It’s like a return to my old self. Like coming home. So my New Year’s resolution, of sorts, is to continue that. I considered trying to say I’d read a book every week, but that’s a little too concrete for not liking resolutions, and also if I get a full time job, which I sure would like to do, and my routine changes, it’ll be harder to keep to a schedule, and it will feel more like work, which of course is not what I want.
But maybe I’ll try to keep up a list for tumblr or something. Not like reviews or anything, probably, because trying to think about talking to other people about aspects of a book takes me out of the experience (yeah, I did occasionally struggle in high school English classes, lol. I would get so caught up in reading the books that I would forget to think about discussion questions or whatever. But boy did I like reading all those books!), so, not a good resource for my newfound handful of followers, unless your criteria for book recommendations is “a tumblr user mentioned the name of it once,” but something. Not holding myself accountable exactly because again who cares about resolutions, but like, a dedicated place to share what I’m up to in that realm and keep the momentum of the enjoyment up a little bit, if that makes sense.
TL;DR, Happy New Year? ❤️
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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This man is awesome
I freaking love his energy
Animators cooked with movement
Hes my second fav character (the first is Frollo)
TEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE ANIMATORS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING!!!!! I literally love everything about him SO MUUUUUCHHHHH!!; and now you've given me an excuse to post all my favorite gifs of him I found on Tumblr
I'm actually. Super insane for him and he lives in my head
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The more time I sink into andromeda, the more I suspect the biggest reason it ultimately failed commercially was because of the massive tonal shift I've already mentioned, and how there was probably a pretty big chunk of original trilogy players who simply no longer fit as a demographic, while the game failed to reach the people who might’ve enjoyed it.
The original trilogy, much as I love it, feels a little bit like a wishfulfillment power fantasy for a very obvious demographic. Almost all women are overtly sexy in design and the f/f relationship in the first game seems to be written along the guidelines of 'what would a straight man find hot'; you play as someone cool and confident and powerful, the most specialest human ever, and maybe you aren’t always respected but YOU and the NARRATIVE always know you're right and you get to be rude to and sometimes punch/murder people who disagree with you so it’s fine. The game then salvages all this by means of genuinely well-written characters and arcs, really cool sci-fi tech and lore, a fantastic story, and meaningful and hard-hitting choices and consequences (which also allow and often encourage you to steer away from that exact macho ideal).
Enter andromeda. Instead of being a super powerful supersoldier from the start, you're the kid of one. You barely know what you're doing. Everyone doubts you, including yourself. You don’t get the assuredness of knowing you are Right and Cool that you have as Shepard. You don’t demand that same respect. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who hated that.
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literally the easiest way to make someone care about a character and make them feel well-rounded beyond basic traits like personality, sexuality, ethnicity, etc, is to give them an actual character arc, and it’s shocking how many people do not seem to fully realize this
you cannot just cram a bunch of tropes. tropes are not the main event, they are tools to tell the story you wish to tell. emotional impact comes from the lead up, so you can’t just jump ahead and expect the payoff to work. “I want this character to just ___ already!” but they’re not there yet. that’s where the arc comes in - how do they get there?
and! most importantly, and this is something I really want people to think about when writing - the most important relationship your character should have, always, is with the world and society around them. defining your character purely through their interactions with other characters are, I find, how a lot of female characters end up feeling flat or not engaging with the themes as much as the male characters, and also how queer and non-white characters wind up as devices for other characters’ development instead of being more fleshed out
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