#and I dunno they just feel so understated???

[starpros-sunshine]

Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope

PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?

I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me

But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.

Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).

Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.

I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line

from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)

kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.

And then dropping this?

I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.

Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?

The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4

And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:

"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.

He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.

But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.

Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)

(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)

So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p

PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game

as well as absolute banger dialogue such as

Among others <33

And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long

And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.

And that concludes my essay :)

[meanscarletdeceiver]

😘

For Valentine's Day, here are shipping... not headcanons so much as scenes that I would like to put into fic form but, let's be for real, I'll only ever get around to writing 1 out of 6 of these. So instead let me just tell you how the scenes go!

(Note: They are all silly but they are not all fluffy.)

Henry x Bear:

Henry bringing Bear to his forest (which is actually a spur off the Peel Godred branch line) for the first time circa 1971-ish and being kind of gruffly shy about this because This Is His Heart and he's trying to sound soooo offhand as he mentions that he just likes to visit here sometimes… get away from it all… for the past fifty years cough… and Bear just looking around and having a heart attack at how some roots are literally driving up the track ahead of them and measuring the four inches between them and the foliage and being like HENRY. HENRY I’M SORRY BUT. HOW. HOW IS THIS LEGAL. HOW HAVE YOU NOT CAUSED A FIRE HERE

I guess this one doesn't end on a very romantic note but it does make me laugh. 

Edward x BoCo:

This one is even more messed-up but it also makes me laugh. I tend to imagine occasionally even work on a way-too-complicated WIP of Edward and BoCo getting to know each other during the three years before “The Diseasel” and also things on the mainland are, like. Bad. Really, really bad. BoCo is way too busy chronically dealing with stress levels set to 9 out of 10 to in any way acknowledge his growing romantic feelings about Edward… 

… until one day when he’s been working further inland for a few days and as he starts returning ‘home’ he hears word that Edward was left in Barrow shed for a day and somehow spent the day out and about on B.R. jobs and BoCo RUSHES back - albeit a quiet, understated sort of way - all but teleports! - he NEEDS to find out RIGHT AWAY if his oh-so-innocent-cinnamon-roll is even still ALIVE :( let alone finding out how bullied he’s been :( only at the end of three hours in a sort of moving heart attack to find Edward at Barrow shed apparently now pals with everyone and swapping tales of Furness past and present with all the worst characters imaginable eating out of his palm and being like oh hello! yes i did get out and about it’s been lovely :) and BoCo trying not to shout in front of everyone I THOUGHT THERE WAS A REAL CHANCE YOU WERE DEAD OR KIDNAPPED AND SENT HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY BY NOW I CAME PREPARED TO COMMIT MURDER and Edward with an unbroken smile being casually like Oh yes :) Five different diesels tried :) No dw you can see I’m fine haha :) Incidentally at least a few of your brothers would sell you to the Gronk mafia for a corn chip :) yes the ones I’m sharing a chummy laugh with rn :) I had no idea things here were so bad I am putting you under protective custody on Sodor immediately :) 

Mavis x Daisy:

Mavis has been down coz things have been so dull.

Daisy comes to her beloved's rescue!

... by throwing the world’s fakest mechanical breakdown at Ffarquhar and being like ‘oh DEAR i am ILL I am FALLING APART i NEED my dearest Mavis to HELP ME WITH THIS ONE MILK TANKER or else my SWERVES will IMPLODE’ and literally every human on scene doing a facepalm.

Mavis has a grand time although - when they manage to swing this journey all the way to Tidmouth Harbour - Mavis shows how much more forward she is about striking up conversations whereas Daisy is actually quite socially anxious (much as she tries to hide it) and winds up getting jealous at Mavis talking to everyone but her. 

And then (finally noticing Daisy in a tizzy) Mavis rolls her eyes and kisses her at the same time. 

Most everyone whoops and shouts some good-natured razzing. Cranky, however, is all like ‘OY A LITTLE LESS OF THAT IN MY DOCK’ 

Thomas x Bertie:

Maybe this one is a straight-up headcanon, I dunno. And I think this ship is a QPR. But anyway I like to imagine Bertie swinging all the way out to York to visit Thomas during his stint at the NRM. 

It’s a super lovely surprise. 

Up to and including Bertie responding to “But how?????” with the world’s smarmiest: “Well, I’m allowed to travel on mainland roads, aren’t I? Roads 1,459 Rails 0 :D” 

James x Porter:

This is me, the captain of an empty ship, I know. (It's fun!)

Porter has been screwing with James’s head for fifteen years now by doing Grand Romantic Gestures but with Pokerfaced Watertight Plausible Deniability. 

Like if there’s ever a cargo of flowers to go out, he always makes sure James gets it. 

He always just so happens to be on James’s track when there are fireworks. 

Forever making remarks like “Oh yeah, you go on first, you need your beauty routine” to let James go on and get wash down ahead of him and then bouncing so that James spends the entire time fruitlessly parsing the tone. It’s not biting or mean. It’s not flirtatious or teasing. But it's definitely not quite matter-of-fact. What does he MEAN by it???

No one knows. (Not that James cares!!!!!!!!) Porter, who has intimacy issues, is having way more fun living in James’s head rent-free than he ever would actually making a move on the most difficult and dramatic love interest on the railway (James: Everybody’s Ex™)

… at some point this will get resolved only when James snaps and drags him along on one of his fast freights out of the harbour. For once Porter is flustered (“Whoa! Whoa! James, put me down! I don’t go this fast - ”) and James just laughs, suddenly exhilarated because now he’s finally hauling Porter off and at the end is gonna force him to address all this shit (“C’mon, you’ve played Thomas before, haven’t you? Let’s moooooove -!”)

[gamebunny-advance]

Doodle Dump

Been a while since I've posted a collection of bad sketches. Notes under the cut~

1-2) AC:OS Seals. So, I didn't want to give up on making those seals for you guys even though my enthusiasm for it kinda went away~ The melon soda seal feels like it's missing something, and I think the sea captain seal is giving too much Admiral Bobbery for its own good, so I might redo that one entirely. I don't hate them, but somehow they're not reading as very "Animal Crossing" to me. I think I need to get more creative about the facial features.

3) Pudding. Another attempt of designing Yuru's main mask. I think it's cute, but I'm still not sold on it. I like the colors at least, but I think I want the mask to have a big gaping mouth so he doesn't need to take it off to eat. I'm just having a hard time keeping it cute when the mouth is open.

I dunno if Pudding is gonna be their final name, but I guess it suits them.

4) Kun3h0 ver. 4(?). I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I just can't stop trying to redesign Kun3h0. Lately, I've been thinking that I'd like to try and make her a little less symmetrical for more visual interest. Originally the change was as simple as just adding the gauntlet to one arm (similar to be VERY early iterations of my "vtuber sona" with their one-paw glove), but then I started changing her more, and ended up with this. It's cute, but somehow I think it makes her theming even less apparent XP (her tummy lines were doing A LOT to sell the fact that she's a robot and not someone just dressed in sci-fi-ish gear).

I changed her eye color to green to draw in focus to her face (which is important for a V-Tuber design). Originally I thought I was achieving that by making the hair so much darker than everything else, thus drawing attention to the head, but I think changing the eye color to something unique helps even more with directing your eyes straight to the face.

I dunno. I like it aesthetically, but I feel like I'm losing the story here. In the last design, even though it was kinda generic, just having the clear indicator that she was inhuman did a lot to inform her character, but when I lose that, I lose the one real point of interest she had.

Then again, I've never truly had a good grasp on Kun3h0 as a character, so maybe that's what's wrong. Maybe if I sit down and actually write even a basic backstory for her, then I'd have some more direction besides, "girly robot Y2K inspired game character with a heart/bunny motif".

5-6) P2 Kliff (Banana Split/Original). So, I wanted to make a version of Kliff that fits more into my aesthetics. (Read: I wanted to make him pink). It isn't meant to be a replacement for him, just an alternate palette. In fact, I kinda liked this outfit enough to try it in his original colors too, and I think it works~

However, I dunno if I completely like the Banana Split colors

The outfit is based on this sketch from Kliff's original concept drawings.

I have NO idea what's going on in his chest area. They can't be the buttons on the top because he's wearing a turtleneck (unless it's a vest, and he's seriously wearing 3 layers in this fit). I don't think it's a lanyard because he already has a name tag on his shirt.

So I interpreted it as a necklace. I dunno, I've always felt like one of Kliff's understated traits is that he's clearly fashion conscious given how much he accessorizes and that he has the confidence to even run around in a coat that yellow, so I don't think it's out of the question that he'd wear more jewelry.

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

The Disquietude of Purgatory║ ⓛⓘⓜⓘⓣⓔⓓ ⓢⓔⓡⓘⓔⓢ

| The Disquietude of Purgatory | part of the Whistle in the Dark collection ║ series masterlist ║ main masterlist ║ | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x married!fem!OC

| RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT:  9.2k | CONTENT: darker themes and situations than previous installments, discussions/depictions of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse,  infidelity (husband cheating on wife), no cucking in this installment, Horny Demon Hours shit

| SYNOPSIS: After the upheaval of Matthew blindsiding you with separation and the destruction of your reputation, you try to pick up the pieces and move forward. Joel is firmly by your side. You want to believe maybe - finally - Matthew’s destructive, vindictive nature won’t claim you as the victim.

You know your silence is bothering Joel, but you can’t seem to snap yourself out of your doldrums long enough to say anything. You aren’t even sure how to put things into words at the moment. It was a hazy walk to Joel and Ellie’s. When you step inside, it’s clear Ellie has been expecting Joel to return home with you in tow. She greets you with a tentative nod, and you return it, grateful she doesn’t seem to require any further social niceties. 

You slump forward to take your shoes off and manage to remove them with a little help from Joel. Your movements feel strange,  like the blood rushing around your veins was nothing more than millions of little ants scurrying and scratching along your vessels. It was almost a deep itch of discomfort just to be existing. You absentmindedly reach out for Joel, who readily pulls you into him without even glancing down.

His eyes are locked with Ellie’s. He murmurs something to her. Or maybe it’s at regular volume and you’re just stuck in your nebulous cloud of upheaval. You’re faintly aware of their muted conversation but come to when Joel begins telling her that the two of you needed some privacy for the night. The guilt of Joel asking Ellie to avoid areas of her own house just because your life was falling apart?  THAT was enough to snap you out of it.

“No,” you rasp weakly.

Joel’s head nearly spins off its axis as it snaps your direction. It was the first word you’d spoken in hours. After the 15 or so minutes of fruitless effort trying to get you to talk to him — to say anything — after he’d found you in the stables, he’d resigned to just pulling you close and holding onto you for dear life.

Never much of a talker for anyone except a handful of people, Joel found it in himself to fill the silence with words of encouragement and comfort. Each word spoken as if they were the string that kept you tied to reality when everything around you had come crashing down.

“No?” Joel repeats, clutching you closer to his side and tilting your chin to look at him.

You give a feeble shake of your head back and forth. “Don’t make her leave. It’s not right.”

“I mean.. I’m good,” Ellie offers up awkwardly. “This kinda seems like a disaster, to be honest.”

“Ellie!” he snaps.

“What?! Oh, I’m supposed to say this all seems totally normal and great?” she lobs back. “Come the fuck on!”

“This ain’t somethin’ someone your age would underst—”

“Uh, it’s really not that hard to understand, Joel. I know a shitshow when I see one,” she snorts. There’s no real bite in her words. Her complete lack of adherence to the basics of social formalities was as jarring as it was amusing. “ I dunno why you’re trying to act like it’s not at least a little bit weird. Even she’s gotta feel like she’s the star of the circus right now.”

Joel makes a strange noise that sounds a lot like he’s choking back a thundering reprimand.

They both draw in a breath, sucking in as much air as they possibly can in order to unleash tirades on one another. Their argument is cut short  when you break into a shrill laugh. They both eye you curiously – Ellie more with a concerned squirm – as your laughter grows into a frenzied belly laugh.

“Uuuuhhhhh,” Ellie says under her breath. Her eyes flicker to Joel for an answer. Joel doesn’t have one.

They both stand there as the unwilling and uncomfortable audience to your jubilant breakdown. Tears collect at the corners of your eyes and begin falling down the curves of your cheeks.

“I-I’m so sorry,” you laugh in between breaths. “I just— this is a fucking mess.”

The shear stress of the day has finally worn away all traces of mental clarity, it seems. Ellie’s eyebrows are almost at her hairline as she shoots you an uncertain smile. “I mean, yeah. I, uh, I wasn’t trying to be rude, I swear. It’s just… I don’t mind giving you two some space. ‘Cuz, I mean– like, seriously.”

Joel briefly glowers at Ellie but shifts his attention back to you. “She stays out in the back addition anyway. You ain’t makin’ her leave her own house. She’s just fine. Aren’t ya, Ellie?” His question to her is pointed, but she just shrugs and grins.

“Yeah, old man. I’m fine.”

Joel’s eyes fall closed for a moment as though he’s working up the patience to engage with her further.

“I’ll be out back if you need anything,” she says, slapping him much too hard on the arm that’s not around you. She glances at you thoughtfully. “And, uh, sorry about.. all your… life stuff?” She purses her lips into a pensive frown, evidently unsure of how to word her condolences to you.

“Thanks,” you breathe out in a small laugh.

Ellie gives Joel a nod and heads out back to her adjacent housing.

“We’re workin’ on manners and, apparently, basic fuckin’ social interaction,” Joel grumbles. You note the pink in his cheeks, almost as if he’s genuinely mortified at Ellie’s lack of social decorum.

“Joel, she’s just a kid,” you remind him softly. Your voice crackles from the disuse and all the crying. “I’m sure she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to react. I mean, I don’t even know what to do with myself right now.”

He looks down at you, and his irritated demeanor slips away into a gentle gaze as he takes you in. “Too understandin’ for your own good sometimes.”

You shuffle back and forth for a moment, feeling aware of your body again after your bout of detachment. Joel’s hold tightens on you ever so slightly.

“You here with me now?” he asks gently.

You offer a watery smile and nod. You wrap an arm around his middle and circle the other behind his back to meet it. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know where I’m supposed to begin with all this mess,” you sigh. Your bones feel weary. Your heart feels like lead is pumping through it, collecting in your chambers and weighing you down with each pulse of blood.

“I think you should probably eat somethin’, to start,” he suggests.

Your stomach turns at the thought of food. “I-I don’t know if it’ll settle if I eat something right now,” you admit.

Joel runs his large palm against the fall of your hair. “Alright,” he concedes. “Then let's get you upstairs and washed up a bit. See if that’ll get ya feelin’ more like gettin’ somethin’ on your stomach.”

You let Joel lead you upstairs. The numb feeling was still shifting in and out of you. When you realize you’ve stopped walking and have made it to his bedroom, your eyes come back into focus. Joel appraises you with an unspoken question. You nod silently, understanding what it is he’s uncertain how or if he should ask.

“I can? You’ll let me?” he wonders aloud.

“Yes,” you reply in a soft lull.

He doesn’t want you to think about whether or not you deserve it. He doesn’t want you to think about what you have to offer in return or if you'll be able to make it up to him. He doesn’t want you to wonder if he feels obligated to do all of this for you.

Joel wants to take care of you. He wants you to let him.

And you do.

It’s frightening to give yourself over to someone wholly, for them to cradle your sanity in the palm of their hands. He could crush you in an instant, if he wanted to. It’s terrifying and overwhelming, but so is love. So, you let him. Because you love him. You love Joel, and a small part of you knows he loves you back in the same exact way.

“Thank you,” he breathes into your hair as he pulls you into a warm embrace. He draws back to look at your face as he cradles it between his calloused, gentle hands. “I’ve got you, and I’m never gonna let you go.”

You nod and sigh softly when he brings his lips to yours. You sit calmly and quietly as he starts up the shower and undresses you both. You lean into the safe feeling of him washing away the day from you. Just like the water runs over you and spins down the drain, Joel enshrouds you in himself – in his safety – and cleanses the pain and the hardships of whatever else is out there, all to be washed away from you and forgotten.

You were going to be okay. Joel was going to make sure you were okay. Joel loves you. You know he does.

The soft drag of his t-shirt against your body provides a comfort that is only second to being blanketed in his scent. He pulls a pair of pajama bottoms onto himself and rummages around for what you can only assume is something to adorn your lower half. You slowly approach him from behind and place a soft hand across the warmth of his bare back. He pauses to look at you. You know what he finds when he searches your face. The want is all to clear.

“Lay down with me,” you say into the quiet of the dimly lit bedroom.

He nods slowly and pulls you towards the bed. You sidle into the center of the bed together, eyes wandering over the other’s face. Your breaths are slow and soft.

“Tell me what you need, honey,” he implores in a low hum.

Your fingertips trace the lines of his face. You let them graze slowly across his lips and watch as they part obediently at your touch.

“I just want to feel loved,” your muted confession spills out.

Joel’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he settles on silence. He looks as though he wants to say something but thinks better of it at the last moment. He wordlessly reaches an arm around you, cupping your backside, and bringing you flush against him.

“I said it before, and m’gonna say it again. I will do whatever it takes to make you understand the way you can make someone feel about you. To make you understand what I feel for you, my sweet girl,” he breathes into the shell of your ear.

Your skin erupts in goosebumps. The gentle press of his lips along the column of your throat makes your mind feel hazy again. “I want you to show me. Please.” Your words tremble out.

A soft grunt is his only reply before he’s making a steady pass of kisses towards your collarbone.

Your ragged breaths pick up tempo the lower Joel’s mouth works over your body. A soft sigh escapes when he mouths against your breasts. You move to pull his t-shirt off your body, but he stops you.

“Wanna fuck you in it,” he rasps, grabbing at the bits of skin you exposed when you pulled the shirt upward. “Want you to wear me. Wanna be in you. Want you tuh’feel all of me,” he adds in a low, muddled hum.

He kneads at the soft underside of your bare breasts, cresting the pad of his thumbs against your peaked nipples. Your body arches to chase his touch. He switches out his thumb for his mouth as he lazily slips his tongue over them. Your hands fly to the back of his head and the nape of his neck where you bury your fingers into the damp curls of his hair.

He works his way down your tummy. The flex of his hands grips into bits of pliant flesh, eager to be devoured. His kisses across the contours of your shaking thighs send a tingling thrill up your spine. You bite down on your lip to keep the wanton, loud sounds from spewing out uncontrollably.

“S’alright,” he groans against your folds. “I wanna hear what I do to you. Lemme hear it.”

You immediately release the shaky whimper you were holding back.

“God, yeah. Perfect for me, angel. Just like that.” 

He flits his tongue along your seam and rolls its against your clit. Your entire body tenses at the sensation, desperate and oversensitive for his touch and attention. He chuckles to himself when your legs automatically start to clamp together at all the sensory input he’s flooding you with. He pries you back open, intent on keeping his promise of showing you what you do to him. He rolls his tongue in curling waves against you, undulating in a merciless circuit against your clit. Your calves begin to shake from how tight you’re clenching them as your orgasm starts to crest.

“Yeah, right there. You give it to me, baby. You hear me? Go on ‘n give it to me,” he goads just before forming a wet vacuum of his lips around your clit. The first ardent suckling that draws your sensitive nub further back into his mouth sets off your climax in a dizzying burst. Your legs seize up, and the harsh clench of every muscle in your body jolts you forward. Joel grabs your hands in his and lets you squeeze them as he keeps suckling and slurping. 

Your teeth grind together, but a strangled moan still edges through. Your walls are still spasming when he releases one of your hands and inserts two fingers, immediately plunging them in and upward in a quick looping motion. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. You writhe at his incessant ministrations. You can already feel another orgasm building on the tailend of the last. A third finger and harder drives send you over the edge. Your mouth opens in a silent cry. Joel is panting as he shoves his pajama bottoms off his legs and onto the floor.

“Fuck–fuck,” he hisses to himself, grabbing at his already hard cock. He strokes himself a few times and groans. The red, swollen tip is drooling precome, and you absentmindedly lick your lips when a bead of it starts to dribble down his length.

Your breaths quicken at the thought of how it stings and bites when every bit of it sinks into you. Those first few punches of it against the mouth of your womb. The demand it places on your walls to accommodate him, spasming with the effort of stretching enough for him as he cleaves you in two.

“Put it– please, I want it so ba—”

Joel flips you onto your tummy and sheaths himself into you with one swift plunge. He lets out a pained moan when he bottoms out. You feel the air punch out of your lungs with every sequential thrust.

“Goddamn! Wan’you—fuck—wan’you so fuckin’ bad,” he moans. When you lift your hips so he can go deeper, you swear for a moment you hear him whimper. “That’s it, honey. Yeah, want more, huh? M’gonna give you more, baby. Gonna give you more.”

You reach an arm behind you, and Joel understands without you having to say it out loud. He presses his chest into your back and continues slamming into you. Your arousal only heightens listening to the filthy wet squelching sounds of him ramming into the deepest parts of you. He tucks his hands under your hips to hold them up when they start to drop. You make one continuous trembling moan, only broken up by the breath being fucked out of you every time Joel bottoms out.

When he angles himself slightly upward and starts nudging the ridged, spongy part deep inside you, your balance fails you completely, and you collapse into a trembling mess beneath him as you come. One of Joel’s hands slips between your folds to rub your clit while you ride out your high while the other snakes its way around your neck to pull your head up enough that your crown lay against his shoulder .

“Jus’like thah,” Joel pants into your ear. “Jus’ fuckin’ like that, baby. So-hnnggggg–SO FUCKIN’ good for me. Takin’ me so good. Takin’ me so fuckin’ — hnnnnffffuuu-FUCK– so fuckin’ good.”

He places sloppy kisses along your hairline and neck as his thrust slow. You lay splayed out on the mattress beneath him, shivering and trembling at multiple orgasms in such quick succession. “You’re gonna give me another one,” he huffs, trying to catch his breath.

You whine in lieu of a verbal response, already too fucked out to think straight enough to form anything rational or intelligible.

“So fuckin’ dumb on this cock,” Joel groans in your ear as he flips you back over, limp and already completely spent. “Got you so fucked out, baby. Told you I was gonna give it to you. Tell you how I feel. Show you what you do to me.”

You slur something incoherent back at him, which only makes him grin wildly. His eyes are bright and explosive with something possessive and resolute. 

“C’mere.” He drags your body closer to the side of the bed until your legs dangle off the edge. He plants his knee beside your thigh for leverage and presses himself inside you once more. His brow scrunches and matches the pleasured frown he already has at the feel of you encasing him from all sides like the grip of a slick, wet fist. 

He captures a soft rhythm with his hips and eases slowly in and out of you. And just like the delicate petals of a flower unfurling until they inevitably separate from the stem, you feel your pleasure gently drifting down down down as you sink into an alcove of content. Your breath catches when he tilts your hips upward just so. He holds your gaze with a burning refrain, the look of a man who wants nothing more than to worship at the altar of your love. You cloister yourselves in the temple of one another.

You feel compelled to speak on the things he makes you feel. The overwhelming joy of his body melding with yours. The safety he wraps you in. The affection he holds for you. “Joel, I– This– Joel, I’m—” Your words fail you. You whimper at the almost overstimulation of his cock dragging back and forth inside your swollen, needy hole.

“Ssshh. I know, baby. I know,” he says softly.

You whine and grind your hips to meet his slow thrusts. You can feel your previous arousal dripping out of you when he pulls back far enough, just before he drives a grueling snap of his cock right back into the furthest reaches of your messy cunt. Broken, breathy moans press from your lungs.

“Ahhhh–I know, honey, I know. I’ve got you,” he murmurs against your lips before sliding his tongue against your mouth until you open for him. He takes his time deepening the kiss, building it into a slow and deliberate thing while he makes you come completely undone.

He hooks his hand under your knee and folds it against your chest, pressing deeper into you with each stroke. A choked gasp gets stuck in your throat when he starts thrusting his thick tip in earnest right against your cervix. Your whole lower half starks to shake again when you feel another wave building in your lower belly. “Give it’tuh me,” he grits out. He pushes the limits of your sanity and clarity when he starts a tight roll of his hips, hitting your cervix in quick succession. “C’mon. Gimme another.”

You brace your bent leg against his chest where he’s pressing you down into the mattress. Your vision goes flat when your climax rips through you. You shriek out in a sob at the force of it. You feel wet streams gather and  fall from your lashline. You grab haphazardly onto Joel’s biceps, clinging onto something - anything - as your blistering pleasure wipes your mind of all else.

“YYEaaahhhh,” he groans. You can barely see from the cloud of your tears and the whiteout vision.

“Fuckin’ god, so tight on me, fuck –told’ya I was gonna make you fuckin’ — AGH goddamn—” Joel sounds absolutely wrecked trying to stave off his own orgasm “—fuckin’ cry on this cock again.”

Your vocal chords crackle something akin to a reply. Joel’s hoarse moans and pants are the only thing you can hear aside from the sucking wet squeeze of your walls around him, growing noisier and filthier with the hastening of him pistoning into you. 

“Gonna give it to you now, baby,” he pants. “Gonna fuckin’ show you now.”

Your mind barely registers what he’s saying. If everything leading up to this wasn’t already showing you how badly he wanted you and how much you meant to him, you weren’t sure of what else or how much else you could take. You didn’t have long to wonder what else could be coming your way.

Joel braces his arms on either side of your head, looking into your eyes with a feral sort of want, before slamming into you so hard you start scooting backwards each time his hips collide into the cradle of your thighs.

“JOEL!” you let out in a pitched scream. Your walls start spasming with no preamble as he draws yet another orgasm from you. You can feel the snot gathering in your nostrils and dripping to the top of your

lips as you continue to truly cry and sob out in pleasure. You sniff with each pitiful drag of breath you manage to pull in. You feel as though every orifice of your body is seizing, clenching, or dripping.

Joel’s teeth are bared into a gritted snarl, and his chest heaves with the effort of utterly dismantling every part of you. His groans sound only with the air clawing to and from his lungs. He grabs onto you to keep you in place, counteracting your movement across the bed from his merciless drives.

“FUCKIN’ SAY IT,” he growls. He bites his bottom lip so hard the margins of his teeth tinge with blood.

When all  you can manage is whimpers and incoherent mumbling, Joel is gracious and compassionate for the state and limitations of your cock addled brain and decides to help you out. “WHO’S GONNA WRECK THIS PUSSY, HUH? WHO’S GONNA SOAK IT??? HUH???? FUCKIN’ TELL ME.”

“Y-Yyouuuuuuuu,” you wail. “You’re g-gonna—” you hiccup at the overstimulation now “—wreck me, my-my pussy. Ohmygod– gonna s-soak it. PLEASE!”

A low, guttural grunt is the only warning you get before you feel the hot liquid siphon of his come spilling out and funneling straight to your womb. He doesn’t stop pushing it as far into you as he can with harsh snaps of his hips until every last drop has been spent and coats your insides.

Joel collapses onto you in a heap, sounding somewhere between pained panting and blissed out, throaty hums. You welcome the weight of him pressing into the expanse you, holding you where he surrounds you in affection and comfort - the little nook of safekeeping he crafted for you to occupy.

He pushes off you enough that you can take a full breath but still has his arm and leg slung over top of you. You can feel his spend drooling out of your used, drenched hole. Without looking at where his hand now sits between your folds, he curls the dribbles into the scoop of his fingertips and smears it upwards to where it leaks out of you. Your breath catches at the overstimulation of him pushing it back inside your opening. He pushes two fingers inside just to hear the sound of his cum squelching into you again. 

You sigh a whine at the feeling of him claiming you once more, after filling you to the brim with his cock, spilling out into you until every crevice of your sex was marked by him, making your hole drink him back in when it can no longer hold the remnants of his pleasure.

His breath is hot on your ear. “You gonna keep me inside you a lil longer, sweet girl?” He circles his fingers against your entrance where his spend smears and weeps out.

You turn to face him and swallow hard. Your hands curl around the back of his neck as you give an affirmative bob of your head.

“S’good. S’real good, baby,” he sighs contentedly. “You understandin’ now? Hm? Understandin’ how I feel ‘bout you? How loved you really are?—” he pauses to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear “—What I’d do for you? Jus’tuh call you mine? To have you wrapped up in this bed w’me every night?”

You slowly nod. Joel loved you in the very same way you loved him: fierce and unconditional. As you quietly hold each other, you think to yourself that Matthew’s destructive, vindictive nature just might work in your favor for once.

You had envisioned  leaving your desolate, unfulfilling life with Matthew behind you more times than you could count, but none of them were ever like this in your imaginings. The cold, cruel disgrace he’d rendered, layered with an intricate nuance that touched on each and every insecurity you had. It was a reminder of the painful mistake of the wrong person knowing everything about you. Even more so painful when, perhaps, they had seemed like the right person once upon a time.

But there was no going back now. There was nothing you could change about having let Matthew in, having cultivated your own ruination. There was only a path forward, and you took one blind step after another, in search and in hope of finding sanity and peace.

The muted comments you were so used to following you around now felt like claps of thunder with each hushed whisper of gossip the town breathed of you. The sets of eyes following you felt like they had grown tenfold in such a short amount of time. It would’ve bothered you less if you could know for certain it wasn’t the same cloud of shame following Ellie and Joel around. You don’t think you could bear to be the cause of their unhappiness. You would sooner let Matthew destroy everything you have and everything you are before you’d willingly grant him the satisfaction of hurting them.

As expected, Joel insisted you keep a low profile at the house and let him or Ellie run errands. He could see the way the town’s abrupt shift in their perceptions of you and your marriage had gnawed into your chest, snapping the delicate bone that housed the pith of your resilient spirit. He wouldn’t let Matthew’s grip clutch around you like that. He refused.

“I don’t give a shit what anybody has to say, and nobody is botherin’ Ellie,” he insists.

“Joel, it’s not right for me to hide away and let you two bear the brunt of whatever bullshit Matthew is spewing,” you counter.

“Let me be clear. I don’t give a single flyin’ fuck what that asshole’s got stirred up. I care about you bein’ out in it and takin’ it on. I know you do. I know it bothers you.”

You wish you could argue, but it’s true. The way Matthew has twisted the truth of your relationship and dynamic has been brutal to endure, even with Joel firmly at your side. The fact that you immediately moved in with another man set more tongues wagging, only adding onto the idea that neither you nor Matthew were completely faithful partners throughout your marriage and that maybe his never ending string of infidelities weren’t all so illicit afterall. If both parties were in the wrong, neither party could be in the right.

“Tommy gave you the week off for a reason, alright? So use it to get settled in, and let me ‘n Ellie worry about the rest of it for right now,” he reasons.

You hold his gaze, your resolve wilting away with each passing second.

“You get started on some’uh your stuff, and I’ll head over to get the rest of it.”

You sigh and nod, surrendering to let Joel once again step up and take care of you. He wanted to. You kept telling yourself so. He wanted this. He wanted you. It didn’t matter what else came with it. He wanted you. He loved you.

“C’mere,” he mutters, pulling you gently into a hug. He leans back and kisses you. “It’ll be alright. I promise. You just let me worry about it.”

“It’s not your burden,” you mutter.

“Doesn’t matter whose cross it is to bear when I’d take it on regardless. I’m not doin’ this because I have to. I’m doin’ this because I want to,” he presses.

You wring your hands together, trying to think of something to say that would convince him that you aren’t worth all this trouble. As if he could read each thought like it was written across your face in bold, red letters, he cocked his head to the side and grinned.

“You know what I get to thinkin’ when I can tell you got nonsense knockin’ around up there in that brain of yours.”

You feel the pull of a grin edge onto the corners of your mouth. Joel raises an eyebrow at you expectantly. He wants you to say it.

“You’ll have to fuck it out of me,” you whisper in a giggle.

“Smart and beautiful,” he quips with a smug grin as he pulls you close.

You feel the heat of shyness and want creep across your chest and cheeks. You dip your head to hide yourself away a little bit.

He nips at your earlobe. “And you got it just right, honey. Start talkin’ nonsense, and I’m gonna hafta fuck it outta you,” he murmurs in a gravelly voice.

Joel had made trips to John’s over the past several days to gather up all your belongings that Matthew had haphazardly packed up into worn out boxes. Joel had been diligent in his effort to not speak on Matthew’s predatory relationship with John’s daughter Natalie. You had sworn that you wouldn’t divulge any of the details, and for some reason you intended to still keep the promise despite everything Matthew was doing.

This was the last trip that Joel would have to make. He wouldn’t have another opportunity like this to speak on something he felt needed to be disclosed. He had never made any sort of promise to Matthew, so there was no agreement to renege. John fiddles with something in the corner of the room as Joel sets aside his last trip worth of things.

“You know, John,” he hesitates for only a split second before diving right into it. “I got somethin’ to say, and you can do with it what ya will. I just know if the situation was flipped, I’d sure as hell hope somebody’d come tell me.”

John sets his work down and quirks an eyebrow curiously at Joel. Never one to strike up conversation unless absolutely necessary, Joel’s sudden announcement that he had something to share came as more than a surprise. It also lent itself to the inherent weight of whatever was to come: someone so quiet and reserved now has something so compelling that they have to get it off their chest? It must be something important.

“I’m not gonna sit here and say I saw anythin’ with my own two eyes, because I didn’t, but I don’t think that’s a good enough reason anymore to not speak on it.” Joel’s fists clench at his sides. It’s not from nerves. He’s getting angry just thinking about everything Matthew has done.

“Alright. Say what’s on your mind then, Miller.” John jerks his head upwards, signaling Joel to continue.

Joel nods thoughtfully for a moment, wanting to choose his words carefully. If he speaks with all the passion and anger he holds for Matthew’s actions, he will risk coming across as only vindictive and reactionary to the recent events. 

“It ain’t exactly a secret that piece’uh shit next door has been with just about every woman in Jackson if they were stupid enough to have him, but I come to learn recently that it might not just be women he’s interested in. Might be the kinda fucked up man to think somethin’ on the younger side was some sorta sick prize to win. Braggin’ rights and all that sorta thing.”

John’s head cocks to the side. His eyes glance towards the stairwell, presumably leading up to his and his daughter Natalie’s bedrooms. When his eyes snap back to Joel’s, there’s a cinder that’s been flooded with oxygen.

“So, if somebody’d done somethin’ to Ellie for example,” Joel continues, emphasizing his commonalities with John, “but I didn’t know somethin’ had happened…..”

John’s brow furrows as his gaze sinks to the ground. He looks deep in thought, disbelief, and realization.

“Maybe I’d wonder why she’d been actin’ off lately. Maybe I’d’ve noticed her lookin’ sorta sad. I wouldn’t’uh said anythin’ to her probably, ‘cause teenage girls just kinda do that stuff, right?” Joel huffs in a humorless laugh.

John’s eyes rise again and have a notable gloss veiling them. He begins to blink rapidly. Joel suppresses the emotion tightening in his chest. The thought of anyone harming Ellie was enough to make him feel helpless and furious. The man across from him unfortunately didn’t have to imagine how he might feel if someone had harmed his baby girl.

Joel’s jaw sets to the side and back. “And I know that - dad to dad - you’d wanna tell me if you even had a shadow of a doubt that somebody had preyed on Ellie.”

John’s face was contorted in rage and comprehension. Joel had to avert his gaze for a moment when the anguished look of failure began to escape through the cracks. He knew all too well the weight of failing someone you were meant to protect at any and all cost.

“So if any’uh that is strikin’ a chord with you… I’m-I’m sorry,” Joel offers gently.

John’s hands are firmly on his hips, mirroring Joel’s stance. He shakes his head at the ground with a sour look.

“Get the boxes and head out, Miller,” he answers in a detached voice. “Natalie’s due home in a half hour, and I’m gonna need some privacy with her.”

Joel grunts in affirmation and packs up the last of your things. 

He walked home without a firm understanding of the chain of events he’d just set off. It wouldn’t have come as any surprise to him to know that when Natalie did get home, she was met at the door by her openly distraught father. That when she was asked by her dad if anyone had done anything to her, she shrunk into herself and couldn’t hold eye contact. That when pressed for an answer, she would’ve admitted that she thought Matthew cared about her. That he promised he was in love. That he promised he couldn’t wait until she was old enough that they could “finally be together” out in the open. 

Omitting the more shameful details. That it had hurt so badly when they were finally intimate. So painful that her body hurt for the next week. When she’d told him, worried that something wasn’t right, he’d seemed pleased with himself. Assuring her that it was normal for your first time to be like that. Explaining that she needed to relax the next time but shouldn’t be surprised if it doesn’t feel as good for her, too.

Yes, maybe Joel should’ve anticipated some of the aftershocks. He should’ve anticipated what a man similar to him would’ve done at the sight of his baby girl so utterly destroyed and broken - her innocence and trust stolen from her and never to be rightfully restored. That there would be nothing in the entire world that would stop him from finding the person that did it and exacting the cruelest revenge conceivable.

Joel should’ve known that a man like John - a man who much like himself was a protector above all else - wouldn’t let Matthew walk away unscathed.

“Joel, it’s fine,” you insist for the hundredth time. “Ellie doesn’t need to stay cooped up in the house to babysit me. Just let her go.”

Joel grumbles under his breath but generally seems to concede that he might just be going a little overboard. “She can do a sleepover another night. It don’t hafta be the one night I’m takin’ a shift.”

You bury the inclination to roll your eyes. “Half shift,” you pointedly correct him.

“Whatever. Still means I’ll be gone longer’n I should be.”

In some ways he was correct. He shouldn’t have to be leaving the house at all right now, but he’d insisted on taking up some random shifts and half shifts over the next week to help offset the days Tommy had given you to get settled into Joel’s house. There was enough coverage, but Joel seemed on edge about making sure nobody had any room to gripe about the patrol schedule getting off kilter while you’d been given the week off so you could attend to your personal matters.

He’d been even more protective and on edge ever since he went to pick up the last of your boxes from John. You wonder if John had said something to upset him, but Joel didn’t mention anything so you didn’t ask. 

You wonder if it was too much to ask Joel to retrieve your things and hold his tongue about Natalie. You hadn’t discussed it, but deep down you know it’s only right to tell John. You decide once you get settled in, you’ll have to talk with Joel about the best way to go about that. Maybe John wouldn’t believe you. Maybe no one would believe you. But at least for your own peace of mind you could know that you tried.

“Joel, it’s fine. I can head over to Tommy and Maria’s if I need anything, okay? Don’t take Ellie’s slumber party away from her on account of me, especially when it’s not even necessary.”

When Joel doesn’t respond, you sigh and set down the jumbled mess of your belongings you’d been sorting through for the past 45 minutes. “Joel,” you implore, cradling his face between the soft cup of your hands. “Baby. Please.”

He huffs and smirks at the petname rolling off your tongue like honey. “You know exactly what the fuck you’re doin’ usin’ that goddamn name on me,” he chuckles.

He grabs you up into a tight hug and nuzzles along your neck. Your low, playful giggle fills the air like a million little bells ringing off. Joel takes a deep breath and lets out a long exhale. He looks down at you with concern.

“You sure you’ll be alright?” he presses.

“Yes. Positive,” you reply with a quick kiss. “Now go on before you’re late.”

A few - several - kisses later, and Joel finally departs. You kick yourself for forgetting to ask him if Ellie would be coming back by after school to get clothes for her sleepover or if she’d already packed them this morning. You decide you’ll make enough dinner for you both just in case she does have to make a stop by the house first. You hum to yourself quietly, trying to pass the time as you sort through your belongings.

You smile softly as you gently place a trinket of yours right next to something of Joel’s on the nightstand. He’d insisted you co-opt his bedroom and make it into your shared bedroom. When you tried to reason with him that he didn’t have to give up his own room, he just ignored you and hauled your boxes wordlessly into his bedroom.

As you look at your things together on the nightstand, you have to admit to yourself that it just seems right. Like they were meant to go together. Like you and Joel were meant to go together. A soft thud downstairs draws your attention to the stairwell just out of sight. You aren’t entirely sure how much time has passed since Joel left. It doesn’t feel like it’s been very long. 

You call out his name. No response. 

Once more, louder. 

Had he forgotten something and come back?

No response. 

You set the other trinket in your hand down and head for the door, hoping you’ll be able to better hear the happenings of the floor below you. A heavy creak of the floorboards freezes you on the spot. It’s just outside the bedroom door. A wave of heat and sick washes over you in the deceptively calm quiet that settles into the house and makes the air feel too heavy to breathe in.

A tall figure fills the doorframe. You jump back and gasp at the sight before you. A pulpy, bloodied mess of  a man. The swollen bits of flesh that had been pulverized make it hard to discern the distinct features of the face before you.

“Matthew?” you breathe.

When he calmly steps through the threshold of the frame, you can finally decipher enough of his countenance through the black and blue and the swelling. Despite everything he’s done to you, your instincts propel you forward to tend to him. Something that could bring harm to him in this way was enough to make dread grip in your stomach. If Matthew wasn’t safe from whoever had done this, were you safe? Was it going to come for you, too? All in an instant you’re transported back to those days of surviving in the wilderness together, fighting for your lives every day until you made it to Jackson.

You stumble forward. “Wh-What happened?” you ask shakily. You feel afraid in this moment –  not of him, but for him. You tentatively extend a trembling hand to his pummeled face. You shudder at the thought of what the confrontation must have been like to have left him in such a state.

A pinching grasp around your wrist stops you mid-air. You hiss at the pain.

“You’re going to insult my intelligence? Really? Just pretend you know nothing about any of this? Like I’m that fucking stupid?” His voice is dangerous, low. Barely restrained fury dances at the edge of it. The words are slightly garbled from the stiffness of his jaw movements. It must hurt him to even utilize enough muscles to speak given the condition he’s in.

Your fear now shifts to its rightful place – to yourself. You’re in immense danger, and you’d only just registered it. Your eyes widen as you try to break free from Matthew’s hold. He tightens it. You wince. He tightens it even more, watching you with a calm veneer of detachment as you squirm at the pulsing, sharp hurt starting to spread up your arm. He grabs your other wrist and yanks you forward.

“If you’re honest with me, it will make this go a hell of a lot easier for you,” he warns.

You try to swallow past the dry patch in your throat. “M–Matthew,” you start with as level a voice as you can manage, “I’m being honest.”

His battered face contorts into a twisted grin. He’d wanted you to answer that way.

He shifts the clutch of your wrists into one of his hands and grabs your jaw with the other. His fingers are pressing mercilessly into the flesh, crushing into your jaw so hard it feels as though your tongue is being clamped in place. 

“You should know better than to lie to me,” he utters, venom laced in each syllable. “Admit it. Admit that you went back on your word and told John about me and Natalie.”

It’s a threatening provocation, a challenge that you’re not even certain has a correct answer as far as Matthew is concerned. You shake your head frantically, but the movement is limited by his vice grip on your jaw.

“Liar,” Matthew whispers inches from your face. 

He slams you into the ground and pins you underfoot as you try to scurry away. He smacks a cupped hand against your ear, and you scream out in pain. A deafening whistle sound rings through the muffled white noise in the ear he’d struck. He’s suddenly down on the floor with you, grabbing you up by the collar of your shirt and yanking your face around with his vice grip again.

“Let’s try that again, shall we?” he asks into the only ear you can properly hear out of now.

His breathing is labored. His teeth are bared. You’d feel like a prey caught by its hunter, but the glint in his eye tells you that the chase has only just begun. He draws his hand back and slaps your face. You knew it was coming, and you still find shock at the pain. You instinctively cower and raise your hands to hover above you in a sign of surrender. The skin of your cheek explodes in heat and pinpricks. Your jaw feels unhinged. You’re reminded of your father. You yelp when Matthew snatches up a fistful of your hair and drags you closer to him.

“Look what he did to me,” he commands. He jerks you forward to closer inspect John’s work. “I bet you love seeing me hurt.”

You shake your head again emphatically. It’s no use. Another blow lands on the same side of your face he’d already hit. You cry out, rambling apologies for things you haven’t done, begging for understanding of things you didn’t say.

“That’s okay,” he insists in a feigned cool tone. “I like to see you hurt, too.”

He grabs you up with a hold on either side of your upper arms and shoves you roughly into the bedframe’s pointed corner. It’s a harsh angle that stabs into your back between your shoulder blades where he’s slowly pressing you harder and harder into the point. Your breath catches in your throat when he stops for a moment, and you realize it was only to make the next slam into the hard corner all the more unexpected and painful.

“MATTHEW!” you shriek. It’s a hectic plea for him to stop, even though you know he won’t.

“You knew what you were doing. You knew what telling him meant for me, and that still didn’t stop you. So why should I give you the mercy you won’t even show me?”

Another hard blow, to your chest this time. You cough and sputter.

“You know he’s planning to go the the Council today? To tell them everything and demand my expulsion from Jackson?”

His large hand wraps around your neck as his knee pins you against the bedframe and the ground. He slowly begins to squeeze.

“You know what that will mean for me.”

And you do. There were a lot of things that were frowned upon here – stirring up rowdy bar fights, not pulling your weight, going against town ordinances of basic safety practices – but there were a handful of things that weren’t tolerated whatsoever. Murder was an obvious charge. Stealing from the community was another surefire way to guarantee you’d be asked to leave before being forced to do so. Another grievance squarely on that list of absolute nonstarters was the grooming and exploitation of children. It didn’t matter how old Natalie looked or acted; she was still a child. She would be considered such for many more years to come.

Matthew’s fingers tighten around your windpipe. You grab at his forearm but know it will only serve to spur him on. He lets up just enough for you to take a breath before he’s straddling you with his entire body weight. Your eyes are wild and pleading. Matthew’s meet yours, but there is nothing but a black, unfeeling void staring back.

“You know what will happen to me.”

He would have a hard time pleading his case to be allowed to stay in Jackson once John made it abundantly clear that he was a snake in the grass who was capable of some truly deplorable things. There were enough disgruntled husbands of wives that Matthew had entertained who would undoubtedly love to see him get cut loose from the settlement. You aren’t sure the fact of his forthcoming child is enough to save him from expulsion.

“Matthew, please,” you choke out.

“Your father and brother had the right idea,” he snarls.

You freeze in place at the mention of them. The mere memory of them is enough to frighten you into stillness.

“I never understood why they’d beat someone like you, someone so desperate to listen and follow instructions – just to be loved,” he muses callously. You wince at the harsh truth of his words. “I never understood why they’d beat such a pathetic thing. Somebody so aware of their own uselessness.”

Tears pinch behind your eyes.

“Because that’s what you were. What you are. But you can’t help what you’ve always been, now can you?”

A swift slap makes the tears seep to the front of your eyes. His breathing is becoming more erratic. Every strike he lands only seems to fuel his hunger for your suffering.

“I used to feel sorry for you. Desperate for love while being such an unlovable thing. Hardly seemed fair.”

The wet streams trickle down your temple. You sniffle.

“And it didn’t take me long to realize how useful you would be for me. Someone to appreciate and savor any little scrap I offered. Someone so starved for affection that they’re willing to accept anything. Never brave enough to ask for more. Never stupid enough to believe they deserved more.”

“Please stop,” you gurgle.

“I should’ve let them kill you that day,” he grits out. “I shouldn’t have saved your life. It was never worth anything to begin with, and now looks where it’s gotten me.”

You quietly cry. You know there’s never been an adequate way to pay him back for saving your life.

“You couldn’t even make yourself worthwhile being the bare minimum for me,” he breathes out in a harsh laugh. His brow quirks together, an inability to understand how you could manage to fuck up something so simple.

“And now what? I’m supposed to just wait for them to hand me down my sentence? Wait for them to tell me I have to leave?” he laughs humorlessly. “After all the shit I went through to get here. I don’t even know if I’d survive out there anymore. So do I die out there or do I decide my own fate?”

He watches your face with rapt attention, looking for any glimmer of understanding of his meaning. You shake your head, lost in the whirlwind of his madness.

“You have the nerve to take my entire life away from me when you can’t even repay the debt of me saving yours,” he hisses.

“I know I can’t—”

A sharp pop to your mouth stuns you into silence.

“Shut your fucking mouth.”

Matthew is trembling with a renewed rage, a sick hunger about him to delve into your ribcage and tear you apart from the inside out.

“You think that little stunt with Miller was the end of it? Hm? You think I couldn’t see how much you loved watching him shove that sock covered in his fucking COME – INTO – MY – THROAT?!” he accentuates the last few words with jabs of his fist to your upper chest where it meets your shoulder. Not enough to knock the wind out of you, but hard enough to remind you that you’re only breathing because he still wants you to.

You stutter through a gasp and a cough and a choke.

“But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? You want to believe you’re better than me, but you’re not,” he taunts. “And now you’ll end up just like your mother. Dead at the hands of a husband who you could never begin to deserve.”

You still as though ice water has replaced the hot, sticky blood in your veins. Matthew grins wildly at your reaction.

“That’s right. You owe me your life, and it’s high time you paid that debt.”

You start crying again, shaking your head furiously. “No no, Matthew, please! It doesn't have to be this way,” you plead.

“Oh, but it does, my little wife,” he coos in a sickening coddle. “And that piece of shit you let into our house? Who you thought you could just run into his arms and escape our life together? I’m going to wait for him to come back home before I do it.”

“MATTHEW, PLEASE–” you sob.

“Watched him leave the house this morning,” he whispers. “Watched him walk away without any idea of what he’s gonna come home to. And I can’t wait for him to see what his choices have earned him. Can’t wait to see his face when he watches the life leave your eyes.”

He smiles fondly at you. Your throat and chest burn as you cry and beg for him to not involve anyone else. You begin to present any and every reason you can think of for him to spare your life. When you bring up his unborn child, his sneer makes your heart stutter.

“You think I care about that? Some bastard child?” he mocks.

He looks at you with disdain, a disappointment that you still don’t really know him at all.

“You wanna know why I got her pregnant?” he asks softly.

He doesn’t wait for you to answer. “You screaming for Miller to put a baby in you? Because that’s what you really want, isn’t it? To be with him? To have a family with him?”

You don’t dare to make a sound or an expression. This was a dangerous game, and there was already no way for you to win. There were only ways to make it worse for yourself.

“But you’ll never get it. You’ll never have what I’m capable of having. You will never know what it is to have him fuck you until it takes.”

You swallow harshly but remain silent.

“YOU won’t ever have anything unless I’M the one giving it to you, do you understand?” he bites. You watch the pulse of the veins on his temples throb the angrier he becomes.

“You don’t get to play house after you rip my entire life away from me,” he hisses so low you barely hear him with your one good ear.

“Matthew, I’m sorry,” you whimper. He shakes his head thoughtfully. “You’re not. Not yet.”

It’s a constant rain of blows down on you, and you don’t fight it. There’s no use. He’s already decided what’s going to happen, and you can’t stop it.

The last coherent thought that goes through your mind before you lose consciousness is that you realize you never got to tell Joel you love him.

Hey, gang,

Real quick: please be mindful of your responses to this portion of the story.

I’m not going to police anyone’s reaction, but I would like to ask that you take into consideration your words before you post them.

I know it may be upsetting that she didn’t fight back or try harder to escape or what have you, but the truth of it is that not everyone responds to stressful situations like that, especially if your mind has been programmed to respond certain ways to abuse. It is almost a learned, instinctive response sometimes due to years of abuse and mistreatment.

Not everyone is brave. Not everyone fights back. Sometimes people just freeze up. Sometimes people are immobilized by their fear. It doesn’t make them less worthy of your understanding. This is a work of fiction, yes, but many of the elements of the story are all too real.

Thank you for reading, and feel free to rant about whatever sorts of ills you wish for Matthew to suffer.

catch ya later, ♥Puddles♥

[allwormdiet]

Tangle 6.6

Well hell, not a whole lot getting worse when one of you has a gun to their back

"Surrender." "No." is kind of the vibe, isn't it.

And yeah, fuck this was smart, but now the offensive has ground to a halt thanks to Armsmaster's interception

...Also it's cute that he fell for Tattetale's fib

Yeah exactly. Information control, an incredible asset

She's picking him apart, and his tools as well, but she either doesn't realize she's playing with fire or doesn't care

This is a fight, so I'm not gonna act like Armsmaster swinging on Tattletale is somehow a foul, but it does feel a little like a foul considering that's the only swing he makes for another while here

Are we sure Miss Militia is more likeable than Armsmaster? Bc Armsmaster isn't the one putting a bladed weapon at someone's neck, and I don't think you can "rubber bullets" your way out of a machete blow

Also the exchange between Grue and Regent is amusing

Hi again, Emma, hope you're having an awful time <3

Oh, that's why Tattletale was willing to risk the fucking sucker blow from Armsmaster; she knew that was gonna be the assist the others could use to get the score

God that's kinda great though. This business is about reputation and pageantry and they can use this stage, with an audience of rich and important people, to get a shitload of leverage against the heroes

Also the machete really is a bad look, like c'mon

And the reluctance to swap the machete out for a fucking baton or something doesn't look much better, why does Taylor still think she's cool at the end of this arc?

Fucking good job on Regent's part here. Outrageously gross, but it gets the job done.

And another really fucking clever maneuver. I dunno what Armsmaster is talking about, this was a fucking slick maneuver. Minimal harm taken and she gets to keep her bugs up, that's obviously the play

So this is actually a neat way to work around the whole "speedster" concept. Velocity's still good at what he does, but he's not the kind of low-key god that Flash is

Yeah, exactly, he doesn't need to hit hard to make this a problem, he just needs to hit enough

So Taylor is in fact gonna keep going for the eyes, got it

At least Velocity gets to keep his, last guy wasn't so lucky

Okay so first off, who the fuck at the Protectorate signed off on this man not wearing a cup? Extra mobility and reduced friction my ass, that's a sacrifice you make so your dick doesn't get punched clean off your body

Also Taylor, honey, I really don't know if there's something he'll ever accept as recompense for this, especially because I don't think the two of you are ever gonna work together outside of truce conditions. Even if you do manage to swing becoming a hero (which I think she does) there's no way they're having you work alongside someone you beat and humiliated this thoroughly

Yeah this man is not the local Protectorate boss for nothing, no kidding he's kicking ass like this

For all that I think Armsmaster has acted like a massive tool, his versatility and competence really can't be understated. I think there's still bad match-ups for him, even or especially in the Bay when you're looking at hitters like Purity, but I don't think that's really insurmountable for him. Hard, absolutely, but not insurmountable.

Tattletale getting desperate, I think. Obviously the hostages worked great against the Wards last time, no reason to think it wouldn't work against the Protectorate, except of course Armsmaster isn't going to allow a hostage to be taken

Bitch ilu

No for real, Bitch I love you

What an incredible display of defiance and trust. She doesn't bother with the head games, she's just like "oh you really don't want to turn your back on Skitter, she'll fuck you up like she did Lung"

Of course Skitter does kinda fumble on the pass but that's okay, she's learning

EDIT: also, of course her smile is unnerving Taylor, it’s a threat display, you know this about her

Haha, oh no

I wonder if this whole sequence would've gone differently if Emma wasn't there to fuel Skitter's rage and spite. Probably, right?

So, they're both idiots, is the thing

Skitter knew going into this that Armsmaster has an ego thing, that he soured on her between their first and second meetings because she tarnished the big win on his record. So far her team has defeated and embarrassed every Ward and Protectorate member in the building except for him, and as the leader of the latter and mentor of the former that already reflects poorly on him, setting aside the fact that villains crashed a fundraiser to lift morale and trust in the Protectorate/PRT. There was no way he was ever going to fold on this.

Meanwhile, Armsmaster has already completely written Skitter off as a loss. She cost him the glory of taking Lung down, she absolutely punked the Wards during the bank job (which again reflects on him as a mentor), and she's clearly in over her head as a rookie. But he could still pull her out of the villain life at this point, she's still got a hand outstretched even though their last meeting broke down (because he was having a fit over his tarnished glory) and all he has to do is meet her there. And he doesn't, because he can't compromise like that. Because it might reflect poorly on him. Because this apparently certain win against some upstart thieves is worth more than a hypothetical takedown of whoever is backing them.

And now Armsmaster has to eat seven hundred wasps for his trouble

Alright cool now get the fuck out of there

Taylor what are you fucking talking about, you could not be more bound to the Undersiders at this point

Current Thoughts

Armsmaster really put up the numbers on this chapter, man was fighting like eight-to-one for most of this sequence and it was a close fucking thing. It's a shame his personality sucks or else I'd almost be tempted to root for him in a way

Still thinking about how Miss Militia resorted to a machete to pin Regent down, like how is that one not a threat of lethal force

Velocity made a good showing, got some hits in, but. Nobody in their right mind should ever skip out on protecting the groin. Points deducted for an easily avoidable loss

And holy shit the Undersiders managed to pull this one together. They've still got Dauntless and an absolutely pissed Armsmaster to still deal with, but the worst kind of defeat is already cleared and even if they were to lose they'd have still dealt a massive blow to the heroes

...which is why I'm still a little stunned that between the mission and the conversation with Armsmaster Taylor still thinks she can walk away from this clean. Lil delusional on that one, hon.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

and I’m just picturing Brady and his cute little wheezy chuckles still going as he bends over, hair dangling into his eyes and dustpan in hand to sweep up the shattered bottle of his garage floor, regretting nothing and still silently laughing at Benny’s face a full twelve minutes later

I need so much more, I NEED to know what Brady said

Oh sheesh I dunno and I’m scared to say… I gotta be in the right frame of mind to come up with Brady dialogue, he’s so sharp but so smart and often not cunty on purpose but manages to be cunty all the same and he’s also so loving too and that’s an understated quality of his. so he scares me -doing him justice.

But why do I feel like he sorta laconically responds during a convo with “oh really I thought you—-“ and fill in the blank some direct quote of Benny’s that Benny said to Lu while munching or something, ya know something like “I wanna live in here” or whatever about her pussy and since they were talking of housing markets and this one lot Benny has his eye on, Brady let fly

I dunno. Sounds lame. Maybe in the morning something snappier will come to mind lol. I just know it’s so close to a direct quote that Benny loses it in shock

[stardustedknuckles]

I dunno man I feel like we got a lot of info that wasn't there before. Divinity existed before the gods, they were just the channels, mortals were here before the gods... Other stuff too but I'm tired and don't remember it all. I just remember thinking hold up, that's information that is relevant to the context here. I know Matt has leaned on the idea that how elves and other such mortals came to be is a creation myth and hasn't committed to backing it up but. That's a lot in a hurry. Oh and the gods do require believers for power?? And I guess the dead souls in their domains don't count because they have to be living souls?? So the trade is "you follow us, willingly, and in return you are (essentially) granted a place to go when you die, which guarantees you see your loved ones again forever."

It's... Not a bad deal. And nobody knows what happened to dead souls before then.

I'm tired and my head hurts. But I'm no slouch on my lore and a lot of what got dropped tonight felt new and/or heavily understated given all the hot air ludinus had blown up until now.

[swalker2000]

Well, I have watched the movie twice, so here's my full review of Despicable Me 4!

MAJOR MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!

Man, I can't believe this huge wait is finally over. I'm gonna miss the excitement and anticipation, until something else in this franchise is announced I guess lol.

As for the movie itself, I dunno know where to start

DM4, as a concept, is perfect for this franchise. All the family going undercover and being placed into witness protection right after Gru and Lucy welcome a biological baby, and then taking on new identities? Think of the potential! How can this possibly go wrong!?

Well, when we then start incorporating Mega Minion scenes, and Poppy and her parents, and then following a villain alongside all of that. That's how it goes wrong.

All of the ideas for brilliant scenes following the family, developing the characters and expanding on them as people, are rushed through so fast that it felt like they barely even happened. Margo struggling to fit in? Over in a second. Gru and Lucy starting new jobs? Over in a second. Edith and Agnes causing mayhem in their karate class? Over in a second.

Don't get me wrong, these are all AMAZING scenes, especially that karate class one! But again, the chance to really explore these characters is squandered because it felt like the movie was glossing through all of it as fast as possible, just to fit in all the other aspects of this REALLY bloated plot. I enjoyed myself watching those scenes yes, but when I return to this movie in the future, I'm always gonna be left feeling like I just want MORE of them. I'm gonna wear them all out FAST 😅

I also have to be honest. I didn't like Poppy. I wish Illumination would stop pointlessly introducing new characters like her and instead just focus on the amazing ones they already have, especially when we had the baby introduced too. Why not just age Edith up a bit and then have her go on that school heist with him? Would've been more faithful to the franchise imo.

The Mega Minions were also COMPLETELY pointless. Why not just make an entire spin-off movie surrounding this concept? Then, it won't interfere with the pacing of a movie that's also trying to follow the family, a new villain, AND Poppy!

Then, there's the ending. Once again, the concept is AWESOME, the idea of all the past villains coming back that is. But the execution is just...what? Why the heck is Gru singing and being all buddy-buddy with the guy who just stole his baby and turned him into a human-cockroach hybrid, before trying to kill Gru and raise his child as his own? Like, that JUST happened? Excuse me!?

The final fight was also SUCH a mixed bag. In comparison to the past movies, this one doesn't even come close. Gru Junior revolting against Maxime after his dad says he loves him is adorable and a strong moment, but a lot of what leads up to and then follows that is kinda stupid. Didn't really get the same level of anxiety as I did watching DM1 or DM2, or even DM3 for that matter. I guess I just don't buy Maxime as a villain AT ALL.

All I'll say is, that karate class scene and the supermarket scene and the parts where the family are being moved into their new home are the true redeeming moments that save this movie. They're the only parts I'm excited to rewatch again and again and again. The karate scene especially, which reminds me...

Edith getting her own little subplot and attention put a gigantic smile on my face. This movie deserves MASSIVE credit for that, and I don't wanna understate how much I appreciated it! She's SUCH a fantastic character, and when she's given a chance to shine, she definitely✨SHINES✨!! It makes me crave a mini-movie centered around her even more. Out of the gorls, she's been the most ignored in recent times, and this one was an improvement from the last two movies in that regard, even if the gorls in general were still somewhat sidelined.

Speaking of those three, this movie completely neglected the idea of them being concerned that Gru and Lucy would start favoring Gru Jr. as their biological child, and then them both reassuring them otherwise and displaying how much they truly love them. It's a perfect idea that's RIGHT THERE.

This franchise desperately needs a TV series following the family. Like, DESPERATELY!!!

4/10

[im-not-a-l0ser]

The Michie Playlist

Happy Valenties Yall. You may have seen my post about making a Michie Playlist. This is my review of songs already on it, originating from @wildrottingworms michie playlist. Barring Granger Danger (because they told me to) and adding another song, because it fits with another.

Here's the playlist on youtube if you want to follow along, and here it is on Spotify.

Nerdy Prudes Must Die: This is, for me, just on there for the sake that it is literally the song they share. That is the only reason it's on here. Also why it's the first song on here.

Take Me Back: This, however, I have no idea why it's on here! Nevermind, secret relationship michie; I'm an idiot. Okay, yeah, I think I can see it. Especially with them having regrets about keeping it a secret. Like, I'm listening to Tom's verse right now and it's like "oh, Max,, maybe you should've just openly loved Richie back thennn." Becky's verse now, okay. I see it a little less. I like the idea of 'i remember something someone asked me back in school,' being Max saying something like "if we could, would you go to prom with me," because of the following line; I think that's cute. Weirdly enough, I think this'll stay.

First Date/Last Night: Yes, I love this for them. Very cute, very nice. Derek Klena's character for max; perfect.

Blast From the Past: So, uh. I skipped this at first. Because I did not like it. This is the last song of these I've listened to because I am/was putting it off. But here we go i guess. Okay, it's not that bad. It kind of reminds me of Will Wood. But it also makes me realise that the musical Zombie Prom isn't the same as the Wizards of Waverly Place Episode, it seems to be about a single zombie who goes to prom. Which I guess makes sense. I'm keeping it, but it's like. That's all I got from it mostly.

Stupid With Love: So I technically added it, because the reprise was on it, I think it's a little silly to have on here, because I don't think Cady is much like Richie, but I think I'm keeping it for purely after (s)he meets Aron. Like, I've literally put that quote where Cady is essentially fantasising about him in tags about Richie and Max; feels wrong to not include it.

Stupid With Love Reprise: So, listening to it makes me nervous because I haven't actually watched all o Mean Girls the Musical, but it's fine. We're gonna do it anyway. Oh, wait, there's a BMC animatic of this, I've seen this, I'm stupid. Okay. I see why the og put it on here. It is very cute, I love it. I don't know enough about factorials to know if that's actually what you're supposed to do with them, and if it's not then it's hilarious. If it is, then it's like... well, I guess PJ did a good job tutoring Max.

Be Nice To Me: I like this song generally speaking, I never thought of it for Max and Richie, but I'm kind of into it. Like, I might do song fics with some of the songs from this playlist, and this is definitely a high high contender.

Two Birds: Thanks og, you mother fucker. I'm sad now. Luckily, I've already thought of them during this song so I can just skip it.... unluckily, it's already started playing and I can't turn it off now. Thems the rules.

Sex with a Ghost: I don't know why this is on there. It's obviously more of a Jagertity song, but I'm still going to listen to it with their context to see if I can figure it out. Okay, listening. I don't get it. I'll probably keep it because it fucking slaps, but i do not understand why it's on a michie playlist. The only thing I could see is like. 'The only time I ever see her is when she's behind me in the mirror," Because Richie dies in the locker room. But I dunno.

Daft Pretty Boys: I've never heard this song before, so. Right off the bat though, I'm dissapointed that it's not gay. The title makes it sound so gay, but immediately with the she/her pronouns. Maybe I should pull up the Genius Analysis so I can understand better, because I'm just confused. Okay, after checking Genius, I think I understand. I will be keeping it.

Beachboy: Another song I've listened to before, I'm excited to listen to it under Michie context. Like, I could type the lyrics along if I wanted to, I love this song. Yes, this is amazing. Aside from the fact that it's, again, straight, it's absolutely great.

Bloom: We begin the ones where I'm going to have to look up the english translations to these songs. Which I'm fine with, I've listened to all the BSD character songs. It's actually pretty fun to follow along, which is why I'm linking english translations through te name titles, which is why some of the have underlines and others don't. Anyway. HEY SORRY TO BUT IN! APPARENTLY THIS WAS IN SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF! I LOVE SCOTT PILGRIM! ANYWAY BACK TO IT! Okay, upon reading the lyrics, I will say, it makes perfect sense that it was written for Scott Pilgrim, also that I rememer hearing it and taking note of what it was called because I liked it. Basically, on a surface level, it's like 'id like you no matter how many times you change your hair' but I think beneath that, as an overthinker, it's about loving someone even as they're going through changes in their life.

Necromantic: As much as it hurts to face the reality, I am glad that there are some songs on here that represent a realistic relationship for them, and this is definitely one of them. I think I would do a poor job on describing it, just look up the lyrics, you'll see.

Sihouette: Okay, reading the lyrics was a little harder bc I'm listening at home, and my family just got back home from Astronomy Club, so just bare with me. I think it's good, I think we'll be keeping it; I like it I think.

Kuchizuke Diamond: Oh I immediately love the vibes of this. I like this song so much for them that I didn't follow along with the lyrics, I read ahead; I love this. It's so cute for them.

Kawaikute gomen: I'm back and forth whether this applies to them, but it's funny enough that I don't even care. Like Stupid With Love and such. I definitely feel it for them, I just can't explain why.

Zenzenzense: This reminds me of Sonic. Not a bad thing, just a thing. I definitely love this song. It's "Now that we've finally met at galaxies' end, i don't know how to hold your hand so that I don't break it" that got me.

Nandemonaiya: Okay yeah. This got me at Verse 1

Kick Back: Oh my, I'm like flustered reading this. Definitely keeping it for them. Works for whichever pov imo.

Death By Glamour: I do not know why this is here, but as an undertale fan, I'm lowkey here for tho.

Uwa!! So Temperate: Again, I don't know why this is here. But it's like 45 seconds, it's whatever.

Murder On The Dancefloor

You & I: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

Best Kept Secret: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

This is where the song diverges into songs I've added! To continue, go to the post explaining why I've added those songs! To skip those songs, go to the post about songs that were suggested!

[miqo-tales]

Jobs at 100 - CASTING

RDM

Dunno if I like Grand Impact. Feels awkward? It is pretty high potency though, so I just need to force myself to use it when it's up.

Manafication giving a free use instead of gauge is nice. Once again I'm confused that some jobs get that and some don't.

...not much else to say, really.

LVL100 AF thoughts: Very swashbuckler/pirate-y. The gloves are kinda boring and I'm not sure about the hat, but overall it's really nice.

************************************************

SMN

Third verse, same as the first.

So, it's been more than 10 years with Big Red, Big Yellow, and Big Green. It is long past time for the other three to show up.

So I really hope that by lvl 120 or something, SMN alternates between access to Ifrit/Titan/Garuda and Ramuh/Shiva/Leviathan.

So Bahamut, I/T/G, Phoenix, R/S/L, YugiOh Bahamut, I/T/G, and so on.

Alternatively, SMN could get something like PCT's Subtractive Palette that swaps Ruby, Topaz, and Emerald Arcanums for Amethyst, Diamond, and Sapphire Arcanums (or whatever gemstones might fit).

LVL100 AF thoughts: Looking back, SMN has had a weird mix of styles for AF. And none of them have really been any good, have they? Whereas this is another of the "wow it's an actual outfit" ones for this expansion. I mean it's just so startlingly practical; I wish every job got this look. I don't like the head piece that much though? It's the one thing in SMN AF that shouldn't be understated.

************************************************

PCT

Really don't like this job sub-60. Not having subtractive palette kinda sucks.

Can we all agree Hammer Stamp is the best thing ever? Yea whatever cute moogles, I just wanna go all Akane on mobs all the time with my interdimensional cartoon hammer.

As big as the AoE for Starry Muse is, you'd think I wouldn't have trouble staying inside it for 5 casts and yet, somehow...

The animations for this job are so good. As much as Viper is the poster-job for Dawntrail, I think Picto is arguably a better one. This job could not have been released before now. This job is your character having fun.

Also, yeesh, the damage this job can do sometimes, particularly in lower level content. "Hits like a truck" is not descriptive enough. This job reincarnates mobs to different worlds. Every time you kill something, a new light novel is created.

I dunno what this job's optimal rotation is, and I'm not sure I wanna go find out. I suspect playing it optimally will ruin it for me.

LVL100 AF thoughts: Kinda wish we'd gotten Relm's mantle/cape instead of the jacket, but not a big deal. In any case, it's cute and I like how it dyes. However, I gotta say, I'm not impressed with any of the in-game brushes.

************************************************

BLM

As I thought, the change to how you regain MP is a major bonus for me. I could never get a handle on the old way it worked.

I can actually play BLM now, which is nice. Though I'd only qualify as "okay" in most content, so not like I'm gonna use it a lot all of a sudden.

I wish the Thunder spells were genuinely oGCD (meaning they didn't reset all other ability timers). Also kinda wish Flare got upgraded to Despair instead of it being a separate ability.

3 polyglot charges is kinda disgusting.

The revamp to Manafont is pretty cool, but damn, the updates to Umbral Soul are maybe the best thing ever. Just straight up stopping the Enochian counter? Full umbral hearts outside of combat? Yes thank you.

Flare Star is pretty cool.

LVL100 AF thoughts: Like so many others, it's an actual outfit! Easily the best looking AF so far. It's not even close.

************************************************

[catty-words]

@continuallyunexpected babygirl, i have too many thoughts on evermore (2020) to fit in my brain, but bless you for asking:

- enchanted by the way the album feels cohesive because of the way it’s fifteen songs reflecting on selves and people lost to time that all evoke wintry sparseness in both the music and lyrics

- relatedly, i got into this album at exactly the right time. it complements the liminal space feel of the week between christmas and new years and i was in exactly the right headspace to be utterly decimated by its interest in the feminine urge to callously move through time with little regard for the people who fall victim to you being so goddamn occupied with the narratives you’re constructing in your head

“willow”

- originally found the refrain of take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man annoying and undeserving of their hype but you know what? the rhythm of it wins i understand now that this is a brainworm from which i cannot escape

- i will Not come around on i come back stronger than a nineties trend though. i just won’t.

- verse three goes so fucking hard oh my godddd

- the underlying sultriness just works, man i dunno what to tell you except my hips love this song

“champagne problems”

- the diction of each repetition of champagne problems contains such an understated bitterness that is very sexy of the narrator considering she just left a dude mid-wedding, her being like ‘your problems are not that deep ok? grow up.’ is HOT. ruthless and HOT.

- and the flipping of the script to the narrator being the one who has not-so-deep problems they have to grow up about is just good writing. which is also hot.

“gold rush”

- this song often makes me think about you!! so, an honest answer to the question “what are your thoughts on evermore?” is “you, bestie” 😘

- the way this song is an Experience, though. like, the percussion and the bass et al make you feel your own anticipation-sick heartbeat and the lyrics of the chorus tumble down down down into the feeling they’re describing and “gold rush” is falling in love i will not elaborate further

“‘tis the damn season”

- in a bit of a love affair with this song right now it’s the latest to mash the 'think about d/b’ button in my brain and i’m feeling very

about it, y’know?

- ooohhoohoo the lyrics if i wanted to know who you were hanging with / while i was gone, i would have asked you / it’s the kind of cold fogs up windshield glass are a prime example of the wintry sparseness and the feminine urge to live up the ass of your own perspective and i feel very normal about them as a result!

- something about the instrumentation of the chorus makes me feel like i’m standing in the gently falling snow. which?? that’s witchcraft

“tolerate it”

- it’s a well-constructed story powerfully and emotionally evoked through music but my primary reaction to it is always something along the lines of: girl, get help fr fr

“no body, no crime”

- 👏 GASLIGHT 👏 GIRLBOSS 👏

- the way she thinks i did it, but she just can’t prove it hits!!! that’s it, that’s my whole thought!

- at first glance, it might seem that this self-contained murder ballad is a bit of a detour for the album, but i’d argue that the narrative is cold and brutal in such a way that fits right in. “champagne problems” and “‘tis the damn season” and “ivy” and especially “long story short” all feature narrators who are self-involved, painfully aware of that fact, and never stop themselves repeating their harmful patterns. gaslighting girlbosses the lot of them. 😍

“happiness”

- letting go of something that treated you well enough but you’ve outgrown, being wistful for change but also for the past... this song is so thematically on point i find myself needing to stare into the void about it

“dorothea”

- another wistful exploration of bygone relationships and whole eras of life. theme once again on point.

“coney island”

- i totally feel like i’m walking through an abandoned theme park in the dead of january listening to this song. i taste the ocean, or perhaps my own tears,,,

- obsessed with the lyric sorry for not making you my centerfold for the way it captures so succinctly the downfall of the romantic relationships on this album, makes my brain buzz

“ivy”

- this pop-country ballad simply is a jam

- why is the rhyme scheme of oh, goddamn / my pain fits in the palm of your freezin hand so fucking satisfying?? i wanna bite down on it

- also, the palm of your freezing hand image/sensation is so simple, yet i find it to be one of the most striking lyrical evocations of winter on the album

“cowboy like me”

- i really enjoy the way this one turns the ‘end of an era’ motif on its head. in most of the other songs on the album with similar interests - “champagne problems”, “tolerate it”, “happiness”, “coney island”, “marjorie” - a relationship is coming to an end and the narrator has to grapple with how that changes them. in “cowboy like me”, a relationship starting is the change that requires reflection on what’s being lost and i think that’s neat!

“long story short”

- this song offers a meta-perspective on the whole album and i have it between my teeth and i’m gonna grrhgrhhrhhhgrhhhgrhj

- the whole chorus fucking. it offers a birds-eye view of the cycle we’ve been seeing different facets of for eleven songs now!!

- relatedly, the line i always felt i must look better in the rear view shines a spotlight on why the speaker stays trapped in this particular cycle and i am unwell about it!!!

- looking at the song through this lens, the CHEEK of now i’m all about you!! (for how long, taylor? yeah, that’s what i thought, see you in the review, babe!!!)

- in any case, i find it delightful that even the album’s meta-narrative contains a flipped-script moment that’s powerful as all hell. long story short, i survived indeed!

“marjorie”

- it really gets to me that in the outpouring of the bridge, the speaker says i should’ve asked you questions / i should’ve asked you how to be in such a panic, yet the verses are proof that the speaker picked up on marjorie’s advice all the same!! heart-wrenching.

“closure”

- the lounge piano layered over the static gives the song a disjointedness that really works for me and somehow perfectly captures the chaotic emotional state of being suspended between letting something go (a relationship, a year of your life) and still being stuck with that something a little while longer. i.e. the perfect penultimate track to this album

- the petty delivery of it wasn’t right, the way it all went down / looks like you know that now delights and amuses

“evermore”

- album closers to sink into a fit of despair to!!! because this is the perfect album to sink into a fit of despair to and this closer is the perfect concluding statement for its album!!!!!

- truly, the way this song ends with the faintest whiff of rebirth yet is still melancholy the whole way through... name a better love letter to winter. you can’t do it. ❄️

[riddle-me-ri]

Heyo everybody! HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

I have another wee update before the start of the new year! (and I have to pass out in order to be up and at work at 7 am rip)

First off, I just wanted to thank you guys so much for your support and for getting me out of a tough spot this last couple of weeks. A lot of stuff was going on and getting into my head. I'm getting better at it, slowly but surely…and taking it day by day.

However, there's something I kinda wanna get off my chest, in hopes that maybe it can alleviate some of my other anxieties of posting and creating content...

I've been mulling over how to make this post for a hot minute. And I think I'm ready to finally put it out there, especially in time for the new year where I have no doubt more requests will be rolling in.

I won't highlight or detail any specific requests in my inbox I have now, but I will just say I have unfortunately had to delete several requests in my inbox that I feel I wasn't able to get to or I feel like I wasn't able to fulfill properly. 

I know some of you wonder if it may or may not be yours, I don’t really wanna share the ones I didn’t do because I don’t wanna put anyone on blast (even if its anon, I don’t want anyone to feel discouraged) plus they’ve already been deleted so I couldn’t go back and find them if I tried. 

However, here’s some…I guess hints? To what type of requests may have gotten deleted? Or like what to avoid requesting me in the future? I dunno the best way to put it rip

I do ask you guys to refrain from things involving parenthood, pregnancy, or children. 

Pregnancy scares the shit out of me. I know to many it’s a beautiful natural thing, but all I can think about is the movie Alien and having some being sucking the life force out of me. I can get the appeal in some ways, but not enough to where I feel comfortable writing about it. 

I deal with kids on a fairly regular basis (I work at a pet store that some people use as a free day care) so it's hard for me to like...get in the mindset for them. I just can’t stand kids that have had zero discipline and coming home from work to try and work on a request with kids is just really difficult for me rip

I know I wrote one thing with the Riddler's being dads, and I had fun with the dialogue and the hilarious scenario, but that's as far as I want it to go.

Another type of request I’ve been struggling with, is requests dealing with mental health. I’ve gotten a couple requests for an autistic reader and I’ve tried doing research and asking around, but I’m worried that no matter how much research I do…I won’t ever be able to fully grasp it in terms of a character that has it. I can write about anxiety and depression cause I suffer from it, but I don’t wanna risk the chance of offending someone or being way off! I’d highly advise that you guys reach out to authors that are autistic and can write your neat ideas to full proper fruition! I have no doubt they’d appreciate the opportunity!  

One more thing, please when requesting, give me everything you can think of. The more suggestions, ideas, prompts, etc. you guys give me the more I can work with. 

It doesn't have to be anything crazy specific but something other than "*insert character trope* reader and riddler" would be gratefully appreciated. 

I do appreciate the creative freedom, but it’s also really easy to feel like I’m just a content engine meant to just pump something out from the bare minimum. 

I hope this helps!

 I just wanna apologize in advance to all the people who sent me a request that got deleted. The number was just getting too much for me and I wanna make room for newer requests in the future and alleviate some of the pressure of not being able to fulfill a certain idea or prompt.

Thank you guys so much for understanding, I hope you know that I still appreciate the fact so many of you trust me with your ideas but some of them I just couldn't find the inspiration for or couldn't get in a proper headspace for and just hope you guys can understand!

I love you all! Here’s to a happy new year! See you guys soon!

[taiblogcomics]

The Peanut Butter Solution

Hey there, fish from the aberrant depths. All righty, this is the last MLP comic in my backlog stack ...of this sort! There's a whole other three issues of a li'l something different still waiting. But we'll get to that later. Next week, we return to the fetid wastes of Avengers Arena. But I'm getting ahead of myself~

Here's the cover:

Well, this is a dang colourful cover, isn't it? It might be the most colourful cover we've ever covered. Who can say for sure? A full rainbow of fruits as well. It almost might be an advert for, like, a tropical candy, though I think if you make your green candy kiwi-flavoured instead of lime or green apple, somebody's gonna riot. It might even be me! Anyway, here's the two most-besties of the Mane Five sharing smoothies. They appear to have invented drink coozies that look like little sweaters. Dunno how popular Mane Six merch is in their universe, though~

So we open with a Pie Festival having just finished. Boy, that time crunch is so non-urgent that they're having events offscreen now. Izzy, you can mention "it's hard to focus with the looming threat of Discord hanging over us", but maybe perhaps you're not focusing on the right thing. Sunny knows how to cheer Izzy up, though, and they go to Sunny's house to make a smoothie. A very particular one they created together: The Dreamy Creamy Peanut Butter Starbow. That's a terrible name, imagine ordering that at Popular Restaurant Chain~

Sunny says a smoothie is just like the unity Crystals, it's all about things coming together. This prompts Izzy to do a flashback, recalling the days when the magic came back and Sunny first got her alicorn powers. Suddenly being a unicorn in a town of earth ponies doesn't seem so special. And Izzy's all about standing out. But right now Izzy's more feeling left out, as Sunny's gone flying with Zipp and Pipp. And Izzy's a bit jealous--not of Zipp and Pipp, but the magic of flight itself. Personally, I think telekinesis is way cooler and more useful, but I'm not a magic unicorn~

While going for a walk to get her mind off it, she passes by a couple of ponies melting in the heat. They complain that Sunny hasn't been around all day, so she hasn't been selling her smoothies at all either. See, it isn't just Izzy missing her. She catches wind of this, and mentions that she happens to be a personal friend of Sunny's, and therefore she should be able to replicate her smoothies. And in true Izzy fashion, she soon gets wrapped up in an even bigger idea: a total smoothie makeover for Sunny's business. She dashes off, leading the other ponies behind with their accusations of "weirdo".

So Izzy gets busy with redecorating the stall and reinventing some new recipies, all seen in a montage over a couple pages. Eventually Sunny shows up once she overhears some ponies talking about Izzy's unicorn smoothies. They still think she's weird, but the smoothies are good. Sunny's a bit overwhelmed, though, because Izzy has gone a bit overboard and extra, as is her wont. Sunny is touched by the thoughtfulness, but since it's so extreme, she wishes she'd been consulted first. And of course, Izzy takes this as a "you don't like it?" moment.

Aw, and Sunny doesn't mean it that way. She's touched by the thought and effort, it's just a bit much. She's had her business a while and likes the way she already does things. Izzy understands, but she's still a little hurt. She feels a little abandoned, and she doesn't feel as special when she can't go flying. Because, after all, it was the note Sunny made that brought them together. She got to meet the friend she dreamed about as a kid, and she just misses her. And of course Sunny is sorry she's made Izzy feel that way.

Izzy has one more gift for Sunny: a matching set of aprons (which are remarkably understated compared to Izzy's other works). Sunny genuinely loves it and thanks Izzy, apologising again for not checking with her friends sooner. Izzy also apologises for not speaking up sooner. The pair of them hitch up to the cart together and sell off the remainder of Izzy's smoothies. Once out, they go back home to prepare one more smoothie--a personal one, together. Using all of their favourite ingredients. Which fortunately don't seem to clash!

The resulting smoothie is, of course, the previously mentioned Dreamy Creamy Peanut Butter Starbow (still a weird name, I don't like the word "creamy"). Nonetheless, the pair of them enjoy it, and make a batch for their other friends as well. And as they share, the Hitch in the flashback begins to recount a story. Nope, let's not have nested flashbacks, huh? Izzy quickly ends her reminisce, and she and Sunny agree: magic is what brings them together and binds them. Could they survive without it? They hope to not find out, as the comic ends on a Scary Discord Face of him gazing omninously at the Pegasus Crystal...

Well, I can’t really complain about the time-wasting on this one. The festival happened offscreen, and the majority of the issue is a flashback. A flashback to further reinforce the importance of their mission, no less! Otherwise, kind of just a cute issue. Also ties back to the earlier part of this arc, where Izzy was once again feeling left out because she can’t fly. I feel like this may be a recurring thing for her. We’ll have to wait and see either way, because like I said, that’s the end of this batch for now~

Next week: back to something terrible. Can you handle another six issues of Avengers Arena? Guess we’ll have to see~

[firebirdsdaughter]

Ya know…

… Now that I’m rewatching Leverage (the original, not the new one, I can’t watch the new one)…

I set Leverage apart from most of my Found Family Crime Etc. shows bc it’s much more… Heavily team-focused. While the others may feature a team, what I consider the officially ‘family’/the ‘main focus’ is usually at most three people. Leverage balances between five quite well and keeps up strong family ties and unique relationships between all of them that I don’t feel like it fits in the same class as the others, it’s got so much variety.

But more to the point, the relationship I find myself being particularly fascinated by on this go through is actually Nate and Eliot?? Like… Eliot’s loyalty to Nate and the different ways it manifests. You’ve got stuff like in the wedding episode, when Nate tells him to put the money into a different trunk than they planned, Eliot just double checks that he’s sure and then does it. Then you’ve got the moments where Eliot calls Nate out for stuff, or councils w/ Sophie about Nate’s behaviour, or how he’s the one that steps in when Nate and Sophie aren’t around. In the ep where Maggie’s arrested, he runs the rescue seamlessly and is the absolute picture of the competent, reliable lieutenant. Even just the way he’s often seen standing at Nate’s shoulder, as early as when they first pick up Sophie. Being the last to leave at the end of the ep w/ all the flashbacks about the dagger. Eliot used guns and killed for him and the rest of the team, and the fact that Nate’s the only one who knows and he keeps it a secret. Eliot being willing to kill again to keep Nate from doing it. Walks away from a football game to go help Parker bc Nate asked him to, right now. Eliot being the one to prompt Parker, then Hardison to go when Nate turns himself in.

Eliot is consistently portrayed as a very interesting, complex character w/ a checkered past who has an extensive reputation for being extensively dangerous. He doesn’t seem to have worked very long for anyone besides Moreau, some of them are even out for his blood. All in all not the kinda person that’s going to give out not just trust but loyalty easily—but he gives it to Nate (and yes, the whole team, but I’m being focused here); even after Nate hits his button of conning his team (though that’s probably foreshadowed by his eventually forgiving Sophie for the same), even when Nate’s being destructive. Eliot chains himself to Nate’s corner. And that’s just so interesting to me??

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

What are your thoughts of The Batman? Please go in as much detail as you'd like.

I'll try to avoid spoilers but generally I think it's better than all previous live action movies in tone and style

they really embraced Batman as a detective which I feel like wasn't done this well in the other movies, the main villain being the Riddler made this a perfect angle to work with

speaking of

the Riddler is diet Jigsaw, like straight up, he puts people into Saw traps, if this movie were just the slightest bit more gutsy this could have been a horror film and I would 100% have been on board

and when he's unmasked he doesn't look like what you'd expect but at the same time you aren't exactly surprised, like he definitely looks like the kind of guy who would be obsessed with Riddles, he has 'guy who loves the movie Fight Club for all the wrong reasons' energy

Robert Pattinson is the Best Batman

I have never 100% liked any of the previous Batmen because they could never quite get both Bruce Wayne AND Batman quite right

Pattinson nails the interpretation of Bruce Wayne they went with for this movie, everyone making posts about this sad emo boy is absolutely on point, it's kinda edgy without being cringy, this character could be so easy to fuck up but he plays it in a very understated way, it's all in his performance rather than his dialogue, he really SHOWS us who Bruce Wayne is without needing to tell us

this is the first Bruce Wayne I've looked at and thought "yes this is a man who would deal with his problems by dressing up as a bat and punching people"

I would like to see what direction they take his character in for future movies, this feels like the first step of a character development journey, it doesn't feel like a 'this is what Batman is' vibe it feels like a 'this is how Batman started' vibe, like my guess is that they plan on emotionally developing Bruce Wayne in future

I also really like that he doesn't do the Christian Bale Batman voice, he doesn't growl, he doesn't sound gritty, he speaks very softly, almost whispering the whole time, this version of Batman is intimidating because he's quiet, focused, always thinking, he scares the shit out of people just by being in the room, during a crime scene you can see the cogs turning in his head as he looks around the room, taking in details, just quietly observing before saying something, and he keeps his words simple and to the point

I was actually not expecting Pattinson to be able to pull it off because I really didn't think he had the stature for it, he's never looked intimidating in any of his previous roles

but once he has the suit on, he really makes it work, the armour builds his frame up, makes his shoulders look broader, he has thick ass soles in his boots, when this motherfucker steps out of a dark corner and just quietly stares people down, he has a hell of a presence

at the moment his Bruce Wayne and Batman personas feel like very much the same person, like he hasn't quite separated his identities yet, he hasn't cultivated the Bruce Wayne mask because he's an antisocial shut in that nobody ever sees

I'm very keen to see if that changes

what I personally want for future movies is for Dick Grayson to enter the picture, and be the one who helps Bruce develop into a more stable person, I want this absolute mess of a man to impulsively adopt a child, realise 'wait fuck I dunno how to raise a kid' and then be forced to actually become a functional human being

I want Dick to call him out on being a wreck, I want this kid to drag him out into the sunshine because he wants to go get ice cream, I want Bruce to be thrown into the deep end of parenthood, I want it so bad

so yeah, 10/10, fucking awesome movie, very much doing its own seperate thing from the previous movies, this isn't an action blockbuster superhero film, this is a detective noir crime thriller

[maybemountains]

Reasons Why Everyone Should Watch Drawtectives:

(aka - a passing thought kickstarted my brainrot for drawtectives again and i just needed to yell abt it someone else please go here with me)

(no cut bc im on mobile and sont understand how tumblr work! Apologies!)

1. If you know drawfee that should already be a sign that drawtectives is just /so fun/ and /very/ funny and chaotic and already that should be enough tbh

2. Julia has so clearly put so much care into this show and like?? the art??? everything, (especially from the new season bc that's fresher in my mind) that she'll prep and then just Not Use bc the others just ignore it??? Yall its so good and there's so much xare put into it and just-

3. It is truly one of the only shows ive ever watched that has me in tears from laughter during like, most of the episodes. Its genuinely so funny and good yall

4. Have i mentioned that i love all the PCs? Please theyre so good yall. Like i just,,,,, i live grandma and york and rose all so much theyre just /so/ good.

5. York Lore. That's it. If youve ever improvised lore for a character and then had to stick with it? That. Its so good.

5.5. Jacob starting to read smth and then going "I CANT FUCKING READ" bc he decided once that york cant read and now has to stick with it & its truly one of the funniest things ever i love it so much

6. Eugene is literally the prettiest boy ive ever seen amd also I love him and yall do you know how hard it is to get me to have brain rot over male characters???

6.5. I was never really an art person so i dont really draw HOWEVER, the Two Men i would like to get good enough to draw are Apollo Justice of Ace Attorney Fame and Eugene Drawtectives. I cannot understate how rare it is to get me attached to make characters and YET Julia has managed to do exactly that with her wonderful son

7. Have I mentioned how much effort and love goes into this show?? Genuinely, every episode I watch I'm like "god I hope Julia knows how much I adore this" like just- YALL. Its so good and so much work goes into and every episode has me in literal awe? Like,,, Do you ever watch a show and it leaves you with the feeling of like, if you werent terrified of the internet/people that you would find a way to @ the creator(s) and just tell them how much you love their show bc it makes you happy and it has you going feral every new episode and you just want them to know that their effort and work on the show is extremely appreciated? Yeah, Drawtectives makes me feel that literally every episode.

8. Jancy!! I love her. I miss her. Drawtectives is worth to watch just for her tbh

9. Have I mentioned that the PCs are all basically in a qpr/relationship/something and that theyve all adopted Eugene as their son yet? yall i dunno how to describe it but it's good shit. They're best friends and they're in love and I love them & will absolutely die on this hill okay? They're a FAMILY and I love them

10. I am not someone who rewatches media easily. I have considered rewatching drawtectives more than once.

11. I keep coming back to this but yall its the amount of work and effort put into this show that really gets me. Bc its like, its like watching an actual play, so already y'know there's work going in there. But then you have the fact that this isnt just dnd and a podcast or dnd and its recorded with cameras like there's art and assets and the mouths are animated to move and the faces change and- like there's little animations done to match the vibe visually and its so good and i can only imagine it takes like forever and it's just. I keep coming back to the work that goes into it bc thats genuinely part of what i appreciate? Like its a good show and i love it and I'd love it regardless, but theres smth abt all the effort that goes into it that just makes me more *gently holds* abt the show, yk?

Just,,,, yall this show is so fun and it makes me happy and i have had so much brainrot for the show recently like very "I'll have one passing thought and think abt it again" and i just,,,, it's so good. I need more people to go here so i can subject people to my stupid headcanons more often,,, please,,,

(also! If it sweetens the deal at all, drawtectives s2 (current ongoing season) can be watched without s1! you may miss a couple of references here and there but thats abt it!)