#and I figured other might like the transcript too

[stellocchia]

I saved up Pirate!Owen's intro monologue for future reference, so here it is for anyone who wants it:

"Alright, listen closely I'm only going to be saying this once. "Alright, listen closely I'm only going to be saying this once.

Growing up I had all I could ever dream of and more. Money, security, a set life planned so rigid it would make the whale bones of a courtesans corset seem bendy by comparison...

My parents were established traders well renowned for their business, influence, and reach of prospects.

And that meant a life of etiquette training, ballroom practice, and champagne tasting. For the "good of the Family Name". At least it would have if I hadn't set my gaze further afield...

Life is for the living!

And being buttoned up prim and proper and placed in perfected poses is as much as being dead than the gallows.

Anyway, it took me to the ripe old age of twenty to be cut from my inheritance and be estranged from my family all on account of caught being... as the history books would call it; "Really good friends" with the stable master of the estate.

On the night before my parents arranged departure for myself from the household, I snuck into my parents quarters, stole my mothers finer clothes due to my fathers not fitting nearly as well as I would have liked... grabbed whatever jewelry I could get my hands on and fled to the local port.

Blah blah blah you know the story.

Rescued some princes, fled the navy, got into a healthy portion of trouble, and here I am!

The Faction Isles"

[absentlyabbie]

seriously, though. i work in higher education, and part of my job is students sending me transcripts. you'd think the ones who have the least idea how to actually do that would be the older ones, and while sure, they definitely struggle with it, i see it most with the younger students. the teens to early 20s crowd.

very, astonishingly often, they don't know how to work with .pdf documents. i get garbage phone screenshots, sometimes inserted into an excel or word file for who knows what reason, but most often it's just a raw .jpg or other image file.

they definitely either don't know how to use a scanner, don't have access to one, or don't even know where they might go for that (staples and other office supply stores sometimes still have these services, but public libraries always have your back, kids.) so when they have a paper transcript and need to send me a copy electronically, it's just terrible photos at bad angles full of thumbs and text-obscuring shadows.

mind bogglingly frequently, i get cell phone photos of computer screens. they don't know how to take a screenshot on a computer. they don't know the function of the Print Screen button on the keyboard. they don't know how to right click a web page, hit "print", and choose "save as PDF" to produce a full and unbroken capture of the entirety of a webpage.

sometimes they'll just copy the text of a transcript and paste it right into the message of an email. that's if they figure out the difference between the body text portion of the email and the subject line, because quite frankly they often don't.

these are people who in most cases have done at least some college work already, but they have absolutely no clue how to utilize the attachment function in an email, and for some reason they don't consider they could google very quickly for instructions or even videos.

i am not taking a shit on gen z/gen alpha here, i'm really not.

what i am is aghast that they've been so massively failed on so many levels. the education system assumed they were "native" to technology and needed to be taught nothing. their parents assumed the same, or assumed the schools would teach them, or don't know how themselves and are too intimidated to figure it out and teach their kids these skills at home.

they spend hours a day on instagram and tiktok and youtube and etc, so they surely know (this is ridiculous to assume!!!) how to draft a formal email and format the text and what part goes where and what all those damn little symbols means, right? SURELY they're already familiar with every file type under the sun and know how to make use of whatever's salient in a pinch, right???

THEY MUST CERTAINLY know, innately, as one knows how to inhale, how to type in business formatting and formal communication style, how to present themselves in a way that gets them taken seriously by formal institutions, how to appear and be competent in basic/standard digital skills. SURELY. Of course. RIGHT!!!!

it's MADDENING, it's insane, and it's frustrating from the receiving end, but even more frustrating knowing they're stumbling blind out there in the digital spaces of grown-up matters, being dismissed, being considered less intelligent, being talked down to, because every adult and system responsible for them just

ASSUMED they should "just know" or "just figure out" these important things no one ever bothered to teach them, or half the time even introduce the concepts of before asking them to do it, on the spot, with high educational or professional stakes.

kids shouldn't have to supplement their own education like this and get sneered and scoffed at if they don't.

[southislandwren]

Actually I take it all back. I don’t want one or the other I want to pass repro AND I want boy to like me back. Law of equivalent exchange I know. Just take something else from me. But I want both and I want to know what’s going to happen

[ham1lton]

another day, another drama.

pairing: lando norris x fellow driver’s sister!reader.

summary: the one where you think o/s is hiding something from you, so with the help of your boyfriend and his friends, you try to figure it out. too bad you find more than you bargained for.

author’s note: part of the nepo sister universe. i fear we might be coming to the end of the nsu soon…. also there is a poll at the end, help a struggling writer out and vote pls mwah.

— part one | part two (coming soon).

————————————————————————

liked by oldersistersbff, yourbff and 287,737 others.

yourusername: just saw these pics of my bf and burst into tears. fuck f1 for taking my bf and my sister away from me….

oscarpiastri: ur welcome ☺️

-> yourusername: SICK SICK MAN!!!! 😒😒

user1: not u acting like a war widow 😭

-> yourusername: my husband (boyfriend) has been taken as a prisoner of war (forced to do his job) thousands of miles away (no this part is actually real).

user9: i’m new to this. are they lovers?

-> user8: worse.

*liked by oscarpiastri.*

formula1: we apologise yourusername! but you’ll see him soon we promise! :)

-> yourusername: RETURN MY BF IMMEDIATELY….

-> user5: girl what about your sister??

-> yourusername: she’ll be fine 😘

user6: girl um did u see ur sister’s newest interview???

-> yourusername: no??!! BRB!

————————————————————————

liked by zendaya, simonebiles and 3,288,728 others.

vogue: the paddock’s princess came to talk to us about being our newest cover girl, winning her most recent championship, going viral, her love life and what her favourite smoothie combination is.

user3: shes so cute 🥺🥺

user1: o/s has been notoriously single since her breakup with paul like five years ago… why is she giggling and smiling when asked about a man???

-> user2: no i noticed that… omg is she seeing someone?

user7: face card never declines!

user4: when gav told her that she’d won and the first thing she did when she left the car was hug him and cry??? she’s so cute. i’m so glad i live in the y/n domination era.

-> user5: the edits with that video are sick… o/s is keeping the tiktok editors in business.

-> user9: have you seen the ones about her and lando to the song lacy??? INSANE…

-> user5: DM ME RN

user31: her saying she doesn’t ever want to be defined by her wins and rather by who she is a person. we love a charitable queen!

yourusername: love life… hmmm….

-> user4: oh no….. she’s plotting 😭

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

liked by oldersistersbff, user72 and 2,833,617 others.

oldersister: family reunion.

yourusername: no credits for the pics??

-> oldersister: no. you take enough credit from my card.

-> yourusername: … fair.

user1: she’s deadass married wth.

-> user6: family reunion out of nowhere? talking about her love life suddenly after years of not even having one? photographed with two separate men?? shopping with o/s/bff in a bridal boutique and cordoning off the area?? it’s adding up sis ur not even delusional for this one….

user9: WHO’S UR MAN @/oldersister

user5: stop with the married jokes y’all…. i can’t lose my queen to some MAN….

user3: are you planning on changing ur surname from l/n.

-> oldersister: never.

-> user16: oh so you do see these comments…

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

SPYING TRANSCRIPT - THURSDAY, 6PM.

- written by LANDO NORRIS, for his boss Y/N L/N.

LANDO NORRIS - i think she’s dating carlos. i’m putting my cards out there.

OSCAR PIASTRI - put your cards back. no way that’d happen. i think she’s dating someone else. look at these photos. that guy isn’t carlos.

DANIEL RICCARDO - just tell y/n she’s dating me and we can all go to sleep. i mean look at my incredible good looks, it would be sacrilegious to not want me.

PIASTRI - if she was gonna go for the hottest driver on the grid she’d go for lewis or charles.

CHARLES LECLERC - oh thank you oscar! very nice.

NORRIS - you’re moving away from the point. wait… is someone knocking on the door?

(everyone looks at each other concerned)

RICCIARDO - oh i ordered pizza. i forgot. my bad!

LECLERC - how about her dating another athlete? someone who understands this life but won’t affect her position here.

NORRIS - smart… what athlete has she been seen with recently?

PIASTRI - according to social media, simone biles?

NORRIS - isn’t she married? nah, who else.

RICCIARDO - she was telling me the other day that she went to the psg game. i asked her why and she said she had a friend who played for them.

LECLERC - kylian mbappé? that makes a lot of sense actually….

NORRIS - do you feel a kin to him? i mean, you’re both frenchmen after all.

(OSCAR PIASTRI would like the transcript to include the following: — after this, charles hit lando. i laughed.)

PIASTRI - it could be that this is all a big misunderstanding. she could have been shopping for a bridesmaid dress. why would she get married and not tell her sister who she’s incredibly close to? that makes no sense to me.

RICCIARDO - anyways….

NORRIS - what about leonardo dicaprio!

LECLERC - she is under 25….

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

taglist: @23victoria @luckyladycreator2 @mxdi0 @booksandflowrs @charlesleclercsonlywife @casperlikej @nichmeddar @decafmickey @evie-119 @ironmaiden1313 @d3kstar @blupblupfish @demvnsriot @raevyng @namgification (don’t see yourself or wanna be removed? send an ask!)

— don’t wanna miss an update? join my taglist!

[ranticore]

I gave up on editing and did this instead check it out. I had a rough time with the zeta because they kept getting too anthro dog-ish and I wanted them to read as primates. The one pictured there is a crew member on a whaling vessel (chef and lookout).

Image description and transcript of text below the cut:

[Figure 1 description: Front and side views of a zeta's face with the skull and external anatomy overlaid and separate. The skull is similar to a baboon's with massive broad fangs and a huge saggital crest on top for muscle attachment. Figure 2 description: a bar of colours ranging from dark brown, to reddish, to pale cream, to violet, to blue, to dark blue. Beneath it are several blue markings resembling a stylised 'A' or an arrow. Figure 3 description: a pair of zeta standing together. They are blue, brown, and cream in colour and wearing fancy black collars with dark tassels, and knuckle-guards to protect their feet. They have stocky muscular bodies and ape-like heads. One is propped up on their elbows over the back of the other, looking in a different direction.]

Text reads:

Terrestrial Zeta of Siren: Overview

Zeta are large quadrupedal mammals primarily found in the Eastern continent, the only area of significant continuous land. They are specialists at hunting and killing the local wildlife, most of which have strong chitinous shells and can be thought of as similar to millipedes or isopods. Zeta maxillary canines (1c) are the largest on Siren, laterally flattened and lacking sharp points, instead used to crush and split open the shells of their main prey, and they have huge saggital crests to support their jaw muscles. Zeta were formerly aquatic and still retain tail flukes and dense bones from that evolutionary era (3). They have a plantigrade, knuckle-walking locomotion and lack tongues. Zeta are marsupial and unisex.

Fig. 2 shows the coat colour variation. It is divided into red phase and blue phase shades. While most individuals have both phases, some are solely red or solely blue. Zeta are the only people on Siren who have naturally occurring blue pigments in their skin and hair, and blue eyes. The settlers who genetically engineered zeta also programmed in the logo of their megacorporation, which was a stylised blue letter 'A', which would appear like a tattoo from birth on the skin of zeta, formed of their own pigments. Over subsequent milennia, the logo has become indistinct and abstract, and the blue pigment is no longer limited to this particular marking, but found all over.

Kattakati

During the development of zeta, the genetic engineers wanted to produce a creature which would never have solidarity with a member of its own kind. They tampered with the brains of their creations, thinking that they had produced a creature with no sense of community, empathy, solidarity, or sympathy. In the intervening years zeta have developed a novel way to regain those traits, for their own survival. Early aquatic and terrestrial zeta developed a form of eusociality, viewing members of their pack as themselves, as limbs of one being, and over time this developed into the Dry Bowl practice of Kattakati pairing. This consists of a pair of zeta who have entered a binding agreement to consider one another a single being (3). Legally, socially, and culturally, a kattakati is one person. It has a single name and will not allow others to distinguish between its component bodies in any meaningful way, as they are supposed to be taken as a complete whole, together. It is frowned upon to consider the pair anything other than one guy. The two halves of a kattakati do not necessarily agree on all things, but this is not a contradiction; a person often thinks contradicting thoughts, and feels contradicting things. The nature of the bond is not platonic, romantic, or sexual, and a kattakati might make friends and date other people (you can't date just one half - you need to date the whole guy).

[shoverse]

what does love mean to you? — or, a record of lee minho's scattered and scrambled views on affection for oneself and others throughout the years.

🎧 lee minho, aged 7, audio transcript:

love? oh, mommy 'n daddy says that to me loads and loads! 'n mommy writes little notes and sticks them onto my lunchbox! i think i still have mine from today somewhere...here! haha, i always keep the notes mommy writes. i write some back too! err, just so she doesn't get mad if i haven't finished all the beans. well, it doesn't really work........do you know any ways?

🎧 lee minho, aged 13, audio transcript:

um, i think it means when you like someone loads, right? but you can also like them, uh, like-like and not love them...but i don't think i like-like anyone, not really. i love my mom! but it's different, like my friend changbin thinks he might like-like this other person in my class, i think his name is sehyeon? something like that. but there's this new person in my class, and maybe we could like-like each other if they don't already like-like someone else! um, not that i want to or anything. just a thought. yeah.

🎧 lee minho, aged 17, audio transcript:

it's kinda like...when your heart aches more than you'd like to admit, y'know? when you know you'd catch the stars in your bare hands and let them pierce your skin if someone you loved told you they liked how stars shine. oh, fuck, that's embarrassing, don't put that in. no, it's more like when, um, when you feel strongly about someone, and it doesn't have to be in a romantic way. i love my best friend changbin, but even if all the people in the world died and i would get infinite money and unlimited pizza i would not date him. anyway, i think i wanna. fall in love, that is.

🎧 lee minho, aged 20, audio transcript:

well, i met this girl, and i think she is love. um, but in the way that- well, i don't know how to explain it all that well. when something sits in the pit of your stomach but it's not fear and when something's caught in your throat but it's not tears. you get me? um, and i'm realising that it's fast, and i'm trying to keep up but it's just...hard sometimes to get us to work, to get her to listen to my feelings. maybe i feel too much? do you think so? yeah, love is hard work, but i'm holding out hope. what are we without hope?

🎧 lee minho, aged 21, audio transcript:

nothing. nothing at all.

🎧 lee minho, aged 22, audio transcript:

for me? love is my cats, definitely. please pretend i say something wise about eternal companions and hope and stars and puking out words like you'll run out of them if you stop. um, i'm trying to do this- self love? it's hard sometimes. that's all. but i know i have time. i know i'll have until the slow heat death of the universe to figure it out. or until one morning i wake up and i can smile at myself. yeah, life is good though. i think i'll stick to my cats for now. um, my hair was pretty this morning though, i gotta admit.

🎧 lee minho, aged 24, audio transcript:

still my cats, but i've made room for two more people. um, me, first of all. that one was hard, but time passes anyway. i'm still here, you know? and second- no, i couldn't possibly call them second. yeah it's, um, it's y/n. they weren't so hard. really, letting them in was the easiest decision of my life. um, but love is hope. not for a better relationship, but hope in a way where i hope that tomorrow will come. hope in a way that i hope the world is kind to us. anyway, love is slow. i mean, there's no rush. forever still has a long time to go. there is love everywhere, you know? i can feel it. this world is good.

🎧 lee minho, aged 25, audio transcript:

it's always this question, huh? no, i don't mind. anyway, there is so much love to give that i can't possibly tell you everything about love in a lifetime. yeah, love is still in y/n. i think it was always meant to be them, huh? can we believe that the world meant for us to be together? can we hope so? oh, of course we can. yeah, and i think everything happens for a reason. you weren't born as an accident, you know? this is your life and i'm proud that you're living it. oh, no metaphors this year. no, i realized that you can't really explain love in things. you can't really call love anything but love. tomorrow you will wake up and you will see there is so much beauty in life. yeah. see you next year.

📁 a/n; ANDDD SCENE EVERYBODY!!! THATS A WRAP!!! and yall dk how long it took me to find those goddamn aesthetic banners............GOD pinterest hates me i SWEAR. anyway if this flops i am officially Ending It All and Jumping. send tweet!

[carrotkicks]

24/05/2010

06:54:23

TRANSCRIPT START

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Okay, I started the recording. What do think we’re expecting from – 

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Well, this certainly isn’t something you see everyday.

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Oh my god… what is this?

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Bodies, Atsushi-kun. Really, really dead bodies.

A murder scene like this comes once a blue moon.

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

… 

Have you ever seen anything like this before, Mr. Dazai?

[DAZAI OSAMU]

No time for that Atsushi-kun! Get that camera out, you know what to do. 

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Hh... Okay, deep breaths. Through the mouth.

*click* *whirr*

*click* *whirr*

*click* *whirr*

[Dep. MINOURA]

Oi! What are you two doing?

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Ah! He-hello, we were ju-just –

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Deputy Inspector! Hello, do you remember us? We’re from *rustle* the Armed Detective Agency, you commissioned us for this investigation? 

[Dep. MINOURA]

The ADA.. That’s right, you’re that freak from the river. We specifically requested Edogawa, not you. 

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Ranpo-san would have loved to join you here today, but he was obligated to other arrangements and asked me and my associate, Nakajima Atsushi, to go in his stead. But I assure you can trust me with this case. You are looking at the second greatest detective at the agency, after all.

[Dep. MINOURA]

Hmph, very well. Demonstrate your deductive ability. You, kid. Get back to work. 

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Ah, right!

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Of course.

*click* *whirr*

*click* *whirr*

*click* *whirr*

07:23:14

[DAZAI OSAMU]

It seems the victims were impaled quite rapidly. The material they were hung from is a blend of polyester and… *sniffs* wool. It’s in long strips, seemingly torn from a longer sheet. It’s the kind of textile you’d find on a winter coat. It’s far too warm for this sort of cloth. 

[Dep. MINOURA]

How do you figure? 

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Oh my coat is made of the same material. 

*click* *whirr*

Anyways, the way these bodies have been sliced looks like they were cut by the fabric itself. On some of these dismembered parts, there are traces fibers along the serrated edge. 

…

This is the work of something inhuman. 

*click* *whirr*

[Dep. MINOURA]

That’s impossible.

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Is it? 

[Dep. MINOURA]

*grumble* Edogawa would have at least given us something that was grounded in reality to work with. 

…

The effort is appreciated, Dazai. Tell your photographer to give us his copies and get the hell out of here. 

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Sure thing, Inspector-san!

*click* *whirr*

*click* *whirr*

*click* *whirr*

Hey Atsushi-ku– AH

*click*

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Oops, sorry Mr. Dazai!

*whirr*

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Right in the eyes! I’m blinded! I’m blind!

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Really sorry! I was really occupied with these photos, I didn’t see you! Really– ah. What’s with the scary look?

[DAZAI OSAMU]

*hiss* next time pay more attention to your surroundings protege-kun. Careful where you point that flash. Whatever. We’re gonna blow this joint. 

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

So soon? 

Thank goodness.

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Yeah. We’ve done as much investigating as we could for now. 

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Do you have any ideas as to who caused this Mr. Dazai? This crime scene is… more elaborate…  than anything that I can imagine. 

[DAZAI OSAMU]

I just might… Atsushi-kun I’ll be leaving you here. I want to do some further sleuthing.

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Huh? You’re taking on more work on purpose, Mr. Dazai? That’s… new.

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Yep! I trust you can make it back to the Agency on your own and log the evidence for us At-su-shi! You are our star at documentation!

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

Wait–

[DAZAI OSAMU]

Bye now, Atsushi-kun! 

[NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI]

There it is. I guess I never had a choice huh? I’ll see you tomorrow then, Mr. Dazai.

*rustle*

*click*

END TRANSCRIPT

24/05/2010

07:32:46

27/05/2010

Mr. Dazai has been in and out of the office since Monday. I’m kind of worried he’s avoiding me, because I tried to speak with him and he just brushed past me. Maybe he’s just stressed from this case. With this job as a crime scene photographer, I’ve seen some truly horrific sights but I have to agree, there’s no way a human being could have caused this sort of brutality. The problem is, that it just makes no sense. I wonder how he’ll figure this out. In other, better news, Junichirou will be coming to the office after his school tomorrow. I want to see if he can help me fix my camera. It’s been really finicky since Monday, and I can’t figure out why. Maybe the internal components got a bit corrupted or something. In any case, I hope it’s not too difficult of a repair.

That’s all for today, then. See you around!

N. Atsushi

NEXT

[cryptotheism]

Found this in an esoteric shop in southern France, it looked a bit too plain amongst the other items of the discount bin so I figured it might be Something.

The flip side is the exact same as the one shown here. Also gave my best transcription of the Hebrew written on the edge of it (ארכָי עליפיכךָ פח ע בַיום ־אפל פלכיט).

Anything of interest there or is it just plain old appropriation of judaica/kabbalah once again?

Looks Solomonic! It's hard to tell without knowing the exact origin of the sigil, as those types of lamella are common in both Jewish magical practices, and in later syncretic efforts by organizations like the golden dawn. I'm gonna @will-o-the-witch here to see if we recognize anything.

[lynzishell]

Prev // Next

Transcript under the cut:

Iris: You’re the one who made a big fuss about not being able to get a hold of me. You wanted to talk, so I’m here. Asher: I figured you’d be pissed at me after the other night. Iris: I was, at first. Asher: Not anymore? Iris: No, not anymore. Asher: Good. What’s gonna happen to him? Iris: [shrugs] He was still on probation, so I don’t know… He has a hearing scheduled next week, but I doubt it’ll go well.

Asher: Are you doing okay? Iris: Yeah, I don’t know. I’m fine. Asher: If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth? Iris: Sure. Asher: Why was James there that night? He wasn’t scheduled that day, and it was too late to see Spencer anyway.   Iris: I don’t know. Just to talk or hang out, probably. Asher: Were you seeing him again? Iris: [hesitates] Yes.

Asher: Did he hurt you? Iris: No. Asher: You said you’d tell the truth. Iris: What makes you think I’m not? Asher: Dawn told me about the bruises on your wrist. Iris: She what? That bitch doesn’t know what she’s talking about! She needs to keep her nose out of my fucking business!

Asher: HEY! If you’re gonna act like that, you can leave. Iris: [scoffs] She’s just pissed because I said a home birth was higher risk than a hospital. Asher: Why would you do that? Iris: Because it’s true. Look it up, the odds of the baby dying are higher— Asher: Oh my god, Iris. Did you say that to her?

Iris: What? She didn’t tell you? Asher: No. Surprise surprise, she didn’t call me to talk shit about you. She was just concerned. Iris: Oh. Look, I wasn’t trying to be mean. I was just saying, there are things she should probably consider. I don’t know what the big deal is. Asher: You don’t know what the big deal is? I swear, Iris, you are the least self-aware person I’ve ever known. Iris: [rolls her eyes] Whatever.

Asher: Fucking Christ. First of all, I can tell that your attitude was more judgmental than anything else, so don’t act like you were looking out for her. Second, it’s not your place to be second-guessing her decisions when you haven’t even bothered to get to know her. And third, you never know what people have been through, so you should really learn to have a little more tact.

Iris: I really think you’re overreacting. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and I have enough shit to deal with. I don’t need you lecturing me about fucking tact. Asher: I’m overreacting? Iris: Yeah. Asher: Did you know they lost their first baby? Iris: I—No. How was I supposed to know that?

Asher: Exactly. You don’t even know her. You just make assumptions and run your mouth without ever thinking about how it might affect someone else. Iris: Okay. I’m sorry. Asher: I’m not the one you owe an apology to. Iris: …

Asher: [sighs] I think you should leave. Iris: Wha—Ash. Asher: I love you, but I can’t talk to you right now. Just go. Iris: Fine.

Atlas: Ash! Guess what!

Atlas: Hey.

Atlas: Are you okay? Asher: Not really. Atlas: Do you want to talk about it? Asher: Maybe later. I kinda just want to lay here for a while. Atlas: Okay.

Asher: Can I ask you for a favor? Atlas: Sure, anything you need. Asher: Will you go pick up Jasper for me tomorrow? Atlas: Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.

Asher: Thanks. What were you hollering about when you came in? Atlas: Oh, Dawn is in labor. Asher: No way! That’s exciting! Do they need anything? Atlas: Nothing right now. Phoenix said he’d keep us updated and let us know when we can come over. But, for now, we don’t have to do anything.

Atlas: We can stay right here.

[applesaucesims]

When the guest sat down for some food and (non-alcoholic) drinks, Emma pulled Laura aside for some well wishes. But as it turned out, she was not actually aware of the real reason for this wedding. This whole time, she had been under the impression that Franklin and Laura were a real couple, why would she assume anything else?

Niall made sure to tell her the entire backstory. If there was ever a time to tell her, it was now. He still struggled with his own sexuality now and then, but at this point, it was already much easier for him to talk about, so he just let it all out. To his surprise, Emma took it really well. On the other hand, he had no reason to expect anything else from her, so he was already mentally kicking himself for worrying. But seeing his wife smiling at him instantly made him feel safe and loved, just as much as he loved her.

[TRANSCRIPT]

Emma: "Congrats on the wedding, Laura!"

Laura: "Why, thank you, darling."

Emma: "How long have you been together?"

Laura: "How exactly do you mean?"

Emma: "Well, you and Franklin?"

Laura: "Oh, sweetie." *laughs*

Laura: "You didn't tell her, Niall?"

Niall: "I've had a lot on my mind. I did not think it would come up."

Emma: "What do you mean?"

Niall: "One thing I didn't tell you is that Franklin and I... we were together for a short while."

Laura: "Perhaps I've opened a bit too big of a tin here."

Niall: "But, you see, he's not into women, unlike me. The older we get, the more suspicious the public will be of something like that."

Laura: "And let's just say I'm not exactly interested in any romantic attachments. People calling you a spinster isn't the best thing for your image either."

Emma: "Well, you know about Harrison. Why didn't you want to tell me about Franklin?"

Niall: "I don't know. I'm still insecure about that stuff. And him and me are still friends. I figured it might be strange. It's stupid."

Emma: "It's not stupid. I'm glad you told me now, anyway. Just know my love for you is unconditional."

Niall: "I love you the same, Emma."

Laura: "You know this was supposed to be my wedding, right? Now quit sweet-talkin' and let's get to eating!"

[flamingphoenixfox]

So… I’m obsessed with Warframe. Especially the Solaris. Back in early 2022, I was wandering around Fortuna with the goal of finding and translating text that wasn’t on the wiki yet. That's when I noticed what appears to be hidden text on some of the posters!

If you look closely, you can see it. It’s almost like there are letter indentations in the paper (I've traced some of the indents so they are a little more visible—unsure of accuracy).

Transcription Key: (Printed Text) [Indented/hidden Text] Transcription: Image One: (The Orb Vallis: Fortuna) [Solaris United: Unite ??] Honestly I couldn't figure out all of what was on the same line as Fortuna on the posters. It might just be "United" again or "Unite" and some diamond symbols they use for binary - it's just too difficult to see to say with any certainty. Image Two: The black/dark blue poster at the top of Image Two is the same poster as in Image One. The pink/red poster says (Fortuna) [All workers must log extra time with formsmen/forms.] I don't really know what the last word is. It could be formsmen or forms with a mistaken "n" or something else. There might even be something hidden on the same line as Fortuna with this poster as well. I see hints of stuff, but that could just be my mind playing tricks on me after I've been staring at these for hours. Image Three: (Fortuna: For Sale Tools Weapons Food Supplies) [Solaris United: For Sale Tools Weapons Food Supplies]

These specific words and phrases don’t seem to exist anywhere else, so instead of being a glitch (insert joke about Warframe glitches here), it’s probably intentional - both from a game design perspective and a lore perspective! It's fascinating to consider, given the social environment in which the Solaris are forced to live. Under the control of Nef Anyo and the Corpus, they would have to be very careful with how they pass around information, and secret text would be a great way to do this! I think this is a good example of subtle world-building by DE, and I really appreciate them for that!

Speaking of more world-building—they also have additional signage that hints at other stalls available somewhere in Fortuna:

Transcription: (Kinoko) (Hanaset's Bar) (Aphrodite's Tavern)

I really wish these were places we could visit! Wouldn’t it be nice to order food that offers a temporary buff or rewards standing? You could visit the bar or the tavern and listen to different Solaris pub songs or eavesdrop on new conversations about SU! Access to additional vendors in general would just be great! Like, y’know, a clothing shop for example! (I’m actually working on that particular concept myself, but that’s a topic for a future post lol)

[short-and-ugly]

here hold on im gonna make a thing no one besides me is gonna care about

skoodgeisms dependent on company:

skoodge with zim: fully open and way too eager (genuinely has fun, silly business) doesnt actually salute to zim, ive noticed. he respects him but i think that respect is the kind that puts them around the same level as each other. (doesnt mean skoodge Doesn't put zim on a figurative pedestal -- just that he sees him as more 'equal' than, say, the hobo sergeant or the tallest) funny little guy with funny little words :3

(added the entire danceghost segment here because i love it dearly. look at him. panic boy ultimate. supreme.)

skoodge with irkens/irken-adjacent (squad sergeants/commanders/figures of authority): quick to salute fun words (hoo-ah) and out of place body/hand motions happen only when he gets in over his head/too excited. feels a lot more plain and "conformed" (as though attempting to fit in?)

even with zim involved, skoodge is... kinda dramatic throughout hobo-13 in a way that he isnt in any of the unfinished episodes. like. serious-dramatic. trying too hard to be a stone-faced irken brute that he thinks everyone else thinks he should be.

(Yes sir! I am your loyal- [gets his ass punted and sent careening down a cliff])

... kinda like how he is with the tallest during battle of the planets!

(the dialogue is wrong in this transcript... anger >:( )

So Zim involvement does not override other-irken-company involvement, but it does override other-not-irken-company. so say, skoodge is with the other invaders on conventia during the assigning and zim walks up next to him -- he quickly and quietly backs away because that is a public space, and doing anything to imply that he might have somewhat of a cordial relationship with zim would put him on... hot burning coals. to put it lightly.

and when skoodge is with the hobos, he treats zim with respect, but that's because zim is the leader of the group -- skoodge is probably at least somewhat aware of the fact that the tallest (and others) are watching him right now. he is treating zim... a lot like a stranger. curt words and mostly not talking to him directly unless addressed or thinking his skillset might be useful to zim.

... at the end, though, you see some of his actual personality start to leak through!

(Zim -- I escaped from the canyon -- I made it! I'm aLiiive! [immediately gets crushed by the sergeant])

(seeking validation -- he didnt need to come all the way out here, to say that to zim, specifically. he was still doing the test for the tallest the same as zim was, yes, but youd think if anyone knew to keep their mouth shut around zim for the sake of their own luck/lives/whatever, it would be skoodge. and yet! he doesnt!)

im feeling like... the adrenaline high from running through the entirety of the hobo-13 course, with a hogulus still chasing after him, probably made him a little excitable and lose his cool composure.

anyways that was a tangent. uh.

when skoodge is with other company. he is. awkward. (see: ghost scientist scene). though this is undoubtedly because of the situation (undercover during a supposed mission) hes still noticeably different from how he behaves on hobo-13! i think maybe this is just because earth is foreign territory that hes yet to learn. still thinks of it as a hazardous filthy wasteland of a planet with threats he hasnt properly assessed.

i think... if he were with company, not irken, and without the looming threat of being discovered and dissected (earth, humans, blorch, rats) then he would still be plain and awkward, honestly? kinda like sizzy when he fails to match zim's energy ('i wasnt laughing?') lots of ums and awkward silences and coughs and flies buzzing and crickets chirping.

hmmmm. yeah. good stuff <3

[lu-is-not-ok]

Stuck in Heaven (ego gift: Late-bloomer's Tattoo) has been grinding my gears for a while now. It has an idea - and a clear one at that - but i can't figure out what it *is*. Wiki has the event transcript. Pls send help

Alright, back to my proper analyses, and... *cracks knuckles* Oh this one's gonna be fun. I want to say that since this one won't need to get into E.G.O analysis, then this post will be a bit shorter than my other full-length analyses...

But. You know how it is with me. For all I know this one might end up ridiculously long anyway. Also, uh, spoilers for Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina ahead.

So, before we can talk about Stuck in Heaven, we need to talk about the other Abnormality it's directly related to - The Burrowing Heaven.

The Burrowing Heaven debuted in Lobotomy Corporation, but later made a return in Library of Ruina as one of the Abnormality Battles. For the sake of completion, I will be taking a look at both of its appearances in the series.

In its original appearance, Burrowing Heaven takes on the form of a tree-like entity, made up of a fleshy material, with branches that seperate into wing-like shapes and many eyes.

Its main mechanics in Lobotomy Corporation is that the Abnormality needs to be on-screen to prevent it from breaching and teleporting away once it does breach. This mechanic is reflected in a lot of flavor text about it, most directly in the description of its E.G.O Gear, which includes the sentence "Just contain it in your sight."

Burrowing Heaven's story further expands on this idea. The Abnormality is repeatedly said to "live inside your eyes/gaze", to feed on the attention and focus others give it by looking at it. However, the moment one looks away for too long, it begins to stretch the stalks of its wings for two reasons - one, to gather corpses as food for the fruit it bears; two, to reach towards the sky and sun, as if to cover it up.

Religious imagery and symbolism is used all over for this Abnormality. From the act of stretching its limbs being compared to praying to an old-forgotten god, to its wings reaching the skies being compared to an angel, to the action of it growing its thorns and burrowing being described as for the purpose of "reaching heaven inside one's vision".

Now, there's a very interesting part of Burrowing Heaven's story in LobCorp that I want to point out. Usually, when those stories are said in first person, it's either through the use of "we" (to reflect the company/employees writing those down as a whole), or with the passage being specified as either some testimony or log or otherwise being quoted.

However... That's not the case here. For Burrowing Heaven, there is a whole section in its story written in first person, with no clear note of it being quoted from something else. Allow me to paste the segment in its entirety.

"That's what a gaze is. Attention. An invisible string that connects us.  Sole focus.  Do not come here, as there is no place for you to rest.  But you see, I could only bear fruit when I stood inside your sight. Is this what you wanted to see?  When your tears dry up at last, tell me your answer."

Interesting, isn't it?

However, we're not done yet. There is still the context of its appearance in Library of Ruina, so let's look at that, shall we?

In Library of Ruina, Burrowing Heaven's Abno Battle is placed on the Floor of Religion, aka Hokma's Floor, alongside Price of Silence, Blue Star, and WhiteNight.

Narratively, this Library Floor explores the faith and dedication that Carmen's group put into her and Ayin, especially from Hokma's perspective, who unconditionally put his trust into Ayin back when he was known as Benjamin. Thus, all of the Abnormalities fought on this symbolically represent Carmen's unwavering dedication to gathering like-minded people to make her dream come true, and the devotion those who followed felt towards her and her goals.

When it comes to the Burrowing Heaven, there is some more info we can gather from its Abno Battle in this game, starting off with its new appearance:

As you can see, the previously tree-like form has been replaced with one that very clearly represent a human's central nervous system, brain and spinal cord included. The bloody wings and eyes still remain though.

...Now. Those who have played Lobotomy Corporation might recognize what Burrowing Heaven is meant to represent in this form. And for those who haven't, allow me to show you something.

This is what became of Carmen after her death:

A disembodied central nervous system, with its nerves spread out in an almost wing-like fashion.

While most of the flavor text here repeats what we know about the Abno from LobCorp, there are a few unique pieces of text I want to shine a spotlight on right here.

"The desire for the unreachable will only grow bigger. And to pursue it… is to tread a path riddled with thorns."

"Basking in everyone’s gaze and attention… It will finally come to fruition and spread its wings."

"The one who spread their wings sacrificed everything they had, and yet…"

"Just close your eyes. That’s right, you’re doing good…"

"If we ever open our eyes again, will we get to see the fruit of our labor in that gaze?"

...In case you were wondering why I was being so scant on the interpretation part of this analysis, this is why. This connection is what changes Burrowing Heaven from a nebulous concept to a direct parallel.

Burrowing Heaven, at its core, is a reflection of Carmen. More specifically, Carmen's dream, and the way she and her followers acted to reach her goals. How, to pursue it, they had to single-mindedly focus on that goal, to make many sacrifices for the sake of reaching what seemed unreachable.

It could also represent how Carmen's seeming demise and the following tragedies happened because nobody paid attention to the warning signs, nobody focused on Carmen when she was at her lowest. And yet, those very tragedies are what led to even more attention being put on making progress towards that goal, towards Carmen's wings spreading out and reaching ever closer towards the heaven she so desired.

The gaze being put on her may have put her deep underground, in the vat where her nervous system became a source of Cogito... but it also eventually led to the breathtaking sight that was the Light. And now that there is no more gaze left on her, her wings can spread everywhere, blocking out the sun with her own Light.

When you think about it, isn't that how Distortions take place under Carmen's influence? Just close your eyes and ignore the world around you. Let your desires guide you. Just like Carmen is encouraging you to do, patiently. That's right, you're doing good, following what she says.

...Okay that's all fine and good, but what the fuck does all this mean for Stuck in Heaven? Let's get to that.

From just a cursory look at its physical description, Stuck in Heaven appears to be the next step of progression in this Heaven line of Abnormalities. From the tree-like form of the LobCorp Burrowing Heaven, to the brainstem in Library of Ruina, to Stuck in Heaven taking the form of growths directly growing over a person.

Interestingly enough, the Mirror Dungeon event describes Stuck in Heaven as having "the appearance" of a branch, yet being human. Curious.

This is also where a difference is established between Stuck in Heaven and Burrowing Heaven, with the event text directly referencing the Abnormality that Stuck in Heaven is related to.

"Heaven sometimes burrows; other times, it makes a home in the heart. Once taken root, that heaven will only be visible through the eyes of others."

Immediately, this tells us one major thing - Stuck in Heaven does not burrow like Burrowing Heaven, it does not need to feed on the attention people give through vision. Rather, the thing it aims to take root in is the heart.

The text you get from taking the [Close your eyes.] option explains why Stuck in Heaven does that. When it takes root in one's heart, closing one's eyes is not enough to get it out of one's gaze, as the sight it sought out is that coming from the heart itself.

I believe this is also why actually trying to [Return the gaze.] with one's eyes does nothing. With Burrowing Heaven, which actively sought out one's eye vision, one can find many references to it being alive and actively watching its observer back. However, trying to do so with Stuck in Heaven results in it ignoring the observer. The heaven Stuck in Heaven is looking for is not in the eyes, but past them. "Behind me", as the text puts it.

Now... all of that might not have much meaning without further context. After all, what's all this looking with one's eyes and looking with one's heart stuff about?

And this. Is where we get to The Little Prince.

Yeah, remember how Demian seems to be representing the titular Little Prince himself, through him directly quoting the kid?

Yeah, that's not the only thing Limbus Company borrows from that book. In fact, from what I've gathered, The Little Prince might just be one of, if not the most important books when it comes to the themes Limbus Company is setting itself up to explore.

And the main theme that Limbus Company borrows from that book is the theme of seeing with the eyes vs seeing with the heart. It is all over this narrative. The constant focus on perception and what everyone is percieving through their senses. The equal focus on the heart, of how subjective reality is when looking at the reflections of one's heart, yet how one has to follow the heart to reach the unreachable. I mean, for fuck's sake, the word Limbus can refer to both a part of the eye and a part of the heart!

Most importantly, I think it's also the key to understanding Stuck in Heaven a bit better. In The Little Prince, a clear divide is established between the Little Prince, who uses his imagination to understand his reality, and "the grown-ups", who focus solely on the physical world.

Stuck in Heaven's E.G.O Gift is named Late-Bloomer's Tattoo. A late-bloomer is someone who takes a long time to develop one's skills or grow up. For Stuck in Heaven to be able to leave its mark (or Tattoo) on someone, to take root in their heart, one has to not be a grown-up yet, to still be able to see the world with one's heart rather than one's eyes.

So... What does it all mean?

I'll be honest, I don't fucking know! I don't even know if Stuck in Heaven even still has connections to Carmen the way Burrowing Heaven does!

What I can say however, is that Stuck in Heaven is likely extremely interconnected with the main plot and themes of Limbus Company, the same way Burrowing Heaven was for Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina.

Does it represent the goals of Limbus Company itself? Faust? The Golden Boughs? The fucking Mark of Cain?

The reality of it all is... we just aren't far enough along in the story yet to be sure. The way it connects to one of the bigger themes of Limbus Company, alongside it being directly related to the Abnormality that was so directly paralleling the end-game reveals about Carmen in LobCorp, means that we likely just don't have enough of the puzzle pieces yet to see the full picture of what Stuck in Heaven truly represents.

I'm sure as we head closer towards Limbus Company's endgame, the true meaning of Stuck in Heaven will become much, much clearer to us. But, until then, all we can do is wait and see what comes next. It's definitely a subject I'll want to revisit later on, once we get a better grasp on the overarching plot and will be able to start properly connecting the pieces.

Sorry that I couldn't give a more definite answer as to what Stuck in Heaven's exact meaning is, but from all the analysis I've done I genuinely think this is the best answer I can give. That it's a direct parallel to something within the main plot of Limbus Company that we have yet to learn, similarly to how Burrowing Heaven is a direct parallel to Carmen and the path taken to reach her goals.

[the-skybrary]

Our head protector, Raph, wanted to make a comic documenting some of his personal experiences, since he's a unique case to our system. Part of it was to vent and get the thoughts out of his head, but mostly he just wanted to send a positive message out into the community. We hope it finds you well.

Transcript of the dialogue below the cut:

I’m not like everyone else here. Most of this system is made up of various versions of the core, and they all look like some alternative of the body. A sporty version, a goth version, a punk version, a motherly version. But all of them are her in some way, shape, or form. 

There are some fictives here, too, of course. The ratio is about 4:1 though. A majority of the fictives have little to no source memories. They aren’t exactly who they’re based on, they’re their own individual, and they are able to separate themselves from their source. 

I can’t. I’m an outlier here. 

I have pseudo memories. I remember a life before I came here, and that makes things complicated. Especially because I have a very important job to do. 

As a protector, I stand by to help us through everything we’re going through externally. I have experience with dealing in heavy survival-mode situations, and that’s why I believe I was chosen to be here. But…it also means I ended up being given a lot of trauma memories from the body to hold onto, in addition to my own. 

I’ve made my peace with my role here. I like it, actually. I have a partner, and a family, unique to this system. I have friends, and I’ve even been able to meet and talk to my source family in other systems. 

Although I can’t ignore the way I feel sometimes, living in a body…in a life…that is not my own. 

I can’t ignore the real emotions I experience when my source updates. Seeing my family in distress or danger, and being unable to do anything to help causes me intense anxiety. Sometimes if body is having a bad day, the memories will sneak up on me. Other times we’ll see a part reblogged and it will trigger an intense emotion. Sometimes it gets so bad that it affects the entire body and system even when I’m not at front.

I would like to clarify, though, that I’ve never blamed the artist/creator for any of that. As a matter of fact, I think I lucked out with Cass’s Apocalyptic Series being my source. They’re good to me, to my story, and my family. It’s just hard some days, being able to see your life laid out like that to the world.

I feel like a river that was once whole, and then forked to become two. Suddenly I’m going in a different direction, and the path is unfamiliar. I’m me, but I’m not him. I’m us, but I’m not her. I have both memories from source and from body, and it makes me feel…wrong. 

I don’t belong here. I can’t mask well. I don’t know how to walk in a body this small. My voice is    too feminine when I speak. Being without a shell makes me feel naked, even with clothes on. My claws and strength are gone. All of it is just reminder after reminder that I’m not truly Raph anymore. If I ever even was. ‘Pseudo’ means ‘false’. Fake. Pretend. Unreal. 

But I’m Real. The me that exists here and now is real. I eat, I dance, I have hobbies and favorite TV shows. I talk to people in our life, and I form unique relationships with them. I exist. I am a part of this system, and that in turn makes Raph real.

I can’t explain why I have memories and emotions linked to my source. I can’t explain why I formed so differently than the others here. I’m struggling with my identity as I try to balance my job as a system protector with my place in the Outside World, and it’s a lot. Some days I feel stupid and ashamed. Some days I feel okay with it. Some days I don’t care. 

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to be an alter in a system, no matter what your relationship is to that source, or even based on what your source is! You’ll figure out your own answers with time. They may not be easy answers, and they might make certain things difficult, but I think the most important thing is how you choose to move forward with it all. 

We have a saying in my family: Antawa Hitorijani. I guess I just wanted to let you know, if you’re out there and you relate to any of this, that you are not alone. And that I’m not alone either. None of us are.

~ Raph

[youphoriaot7]

I don't have screenshots on here, but I do have transcripts, coming in hot from Etoiles' investigation of the rebellion hideout on his stream!

KAMETO Ongoing report Status: Inconclusive Resident's Info: Name: Kameto Alignment: ?? Observations: Kameto vanished a significant amount of time ago from the island, returning on October 6th after being retrieved by the other islands from a prison. Please observe him further to assess his alignment, there is something we missed...

PHILZA Ongoing report Status: Inconclusive Resident's Info: Name: Philza Alignment: Anti-Federation (assumed) Observations: Assumed is a stretch statement at this point; Philza has shown no allegiance to the Federation or the representative and has frequently displayed combative behavior towards it. Any tasks he has done for the Federation were done in an entirely self-serving manner, purely for the reward and not because he wanted to do something good for the Federation. he is highly focused upon retrieving his children. One problem with Philza is that our codes have given him much grief, and gaining his trust after those events may be difficult. Philza also shows great disdain towards authority. Even if we aren't the Federation, he may decline any invitation we will extend to him. It is too early to tell for us. Perhaps Etoiles could put in a good word for us, when we intend to approach him of course.

BADBOYHALO Ongoing report Status: Inconclusive Resident's Info: Name: Badboyhalo Alignment: Anti-Federation (assumed) Observations: Keeps talking about this guy called "Scappy?" Certainly not a person on the island, perhaps imaginary? Either way, this is a literal demon. This is not a figurative statement—where did this one even come from? Who called it into the world? It's a miracle nothing disastrous has happened. Or maybe it has already happened and we don't know about it. Oddly enough for a demon, doesn't like cursing. Just like with Philza, we might need Etoiles to put in a good word for us if we want to approach him to join the rebellion. He has a less-than-ideal relationship with the codes which will not reflect positively upon us.

CELLBIT: [From Cellbit's book:] UPDATE! He has been approached by us after the memory retrieval of his twin sister had been very successful. We have only had eyes on him once over the last week and he seemed unstable. It is hard to explain from a distance. Perhaps the memories had a reverse effect? In this stage we aren't sure if we want to give him any missions or tasks. It doesn't mean that we won't consider both twins in the future. As of now Cellbit needs [to] be kept under further observation. Such a shame.

LATEST REPORT: Latest report review: With the station being shut down we couldn't just sit by idle and not investigate. The Federation is desperately trying to fend off the black concrete. One of our informants managed to access the supposed secondary location. We only got a brief report from them before they went radio silent. All that we received was descriptions of an environment that deceives. Sand, places that seem safe but are not within a moment's notice. There was a deep rumble before the already unstable connection was lost. We'd hope they're alive out here and that their equipment was destroyed, but we know better. They were brave to go out into the unknown like that for the cause.

[entropyvoid]

HKVH Fic Recs List

I had such a stupid amount of tabs full of HKVH fics open that I was reluctant to close, that I decided to just bite the bullet and compile a list of fic recs. And I figured if I was going to do that, I may as well share them. Unorganized and in no particular order.

every good intention (is interpolation)

A month after Alhaitham has gone missing, Kaveh finds a journal when rumaging through his things. The journal is encrypted in an ancient script that few know, and the only reason Kaveh does,
is because Alhaitham had him learn it during their shared project in the Akademiya.

Below are the transcripts.

Alhaitham character study, angsty with a happy ending, might come for your kneecaps if you’ve got autism feels™

Flower Language, Sickly Sweet

It would not happen. Not ever. Not with the way they always fight, nor the way Haitham subtly knocks his ego down a peg, nor the way Haitham ignores his presence altogether when he doesn't feel like entertaining Kaveh’s whims. It’s not the actions of a man in love. Kaveh would know. He’s been in love for years.

He’d only just recently accepted it, but it is true, undeniably so, and a sick sort of dread had crept up his stomach ever since he figured it out. Not the fluttering butterflies of an innocent crush, but the weight of knowledge that can never be shared.

Boundaries. He reminds himself. Essential for a healthy bond.

Kaveh starts coughing up Padisarah petals just as his life starts turning around—of course this would happen, with his luck.

Hanahaki fic with a happy ending.

Spend A Little Too Much Time Together

Kaveh finds a young Rtawahist scholar breaking down in the corner of Lambad's, and makes the best mistake of his life: adopting her with Alhaitham.

Found family fluff with some funny moments.

truck, barter, and trade

People keep coming up to Kaveh to congratulate him. Kaveh doesn’t really know why, and he’s a little too scared to ask at this point, so he heads back home, content if not a little bemused.

He is, unfortunately, reminded of it the very next day, when the door slams open and Al-Haitham stalks in. “Mind telling me why everyone was congratulating me today?” he demands. “About your pregnancy?"

Or: Al-Haitham is, without a doubt, the most annoying person Kaveh knows. Maybe the world’s second-most annoying person can help Kaveh figure him out.

Another comedic and fluffy found family fic with Kaveh and Alhaitham accidentally adopting someone, but this time the child is Wanderer.

hemlock lovers

He pulls out his cards, and then Kaveh watches as Alhaitham pauses for a second, blinking quickly. Like trying to focus his eyesight. He had only had two glasses, hadn’t he? Surely Alhaitham wasn’t already feeling the alcohol. He was not a lightweight like Kaveh was.

A night in the Tavern goes awry, fast.

Sickfic, Alhaitham gets poisoned.

…and they were roommates

Kaveh is looking for his keys. Al Haitham is a brat. And Nahida? Well, Nahida knows her things. In words of General Mahamatra: being roommates always meant somehing more interesting.

Short and comedic.

Like This

Alhaitham wakes and recognizes not the maroon of his wine nor the crimson cover of tonight’s text, but the garnet of irises near enough to his own that he can clearly see the flicks of obsidian within them. This is the common room, he realizes. He has fallen asleep here while reading often enough for that thought to come easily. All others, unfortunately, ping uselessly against his consciousness like water droplets sliding over oiled skin. How can he think, in this situation? He has lifted a gaze blurred with sleep only to find Kaveh leaning over him — a hand braced somewhere on the back of the divan and a knee pressed into the cushion between Alhaitham’s thighs.

Or, in which Kaveh crosses the line between them and Alhaitham does not let him take it back.

fast as you can

“I returned to the tavern after I brought you home, found the man whose name you told me and punched him square in the face. Are you happy now?” Alhaitham leaned closer towards Kaveh. “Do you believe me?” There was a strange intensity to his eyes.
The unexpected honesty had Kaveh utterly confused. For a moment, he was quiet as he ran his fingers over his temples.
“I don't understand why you would do this for me. Is it to put me in even more debt? Don't I owe you enough already? Tighnari is convinced you did it for my sake.” He let out a dry laugh. “Unless you're like, secretly in love with me, there'd be no-” Kaveh's words, uttered without much thought, got stuck in his throat when for the shortest of moments, a conflicted expression ghosted over Alhaitham's face. Kaveh felt like the air was being pushed out of his lungs.
“W- what was that?!”

A Quiet Thing

Alhaitham cursed, clawing at the creature whose jaws were still firmly affixed around the delicate bones of his wing. He felt warm liquid rush down his hand as he pushed at the creature’s face, heart rate spiking as he realized it must be blood.

Then, a noise that would stick with him for the rest of his life.

Alhaitham obtains a grievous injury during an investigation, and learns to deal with the aftermath. Kaveh is there to help, but the road to recovery is not a smooth one.

Wingfic, injury/recovery and getting together, a bit on the longer side.

Scarlet Sands and Crimson Eyes

Inspired by the movies Hush (2016) and Revenge (2017)

During a mission out into the desert to round-up an extremist group being led by one of the former Sages, Alhaitham's headphones are destroyed. He decides to stay behind through the night to fix them, but gets ambushed by leftovers of the Eremites and dragged across the desert. He gets nearly assaulted, thrown off a cliff, impaled on a tree, stabbed, and shot, and all the while can't stop thinking about Kaveh. It must be because he didn't want to die while Kaveh was still living under his roof, right?

Deaf!Alhaitham fic, dude goes through it but it a badass. Pretty long but will have you on the edge of your seat the whole time.

Appeal to Stone, Ascend to the Skies

“So much for solidarity,” Alhaitham said.

“You’re not even on your own side, you harpy,” Kaveh grumbled in reply.

Alhaitham unexpectedly wakes up with wings, and must learn to come to terms with absurdity.

12 chapter wingfic, a bit of a character study for both of them (but mostly focusing on Alhaitham.)

Wine Red

A scene has been on replay in Al-Haitham's head for the past two weeks, so vivid that it only seemed like yesterday that it happened.

It began like this: Kaveh was absolutely hammered at the bar, and although Al-Haitham had reservations about bringing him home with him, the tavern owner begged him to take his roommate home. And so, Al-Haitham had an arm slung over his shoulder, supporting Kaveh as he stumbled like a newborn foal, quiet and dazed.

“Pretty.”

And with that one tiny, drunkenly made compliment from Kaveh, his daily routine was thrown into disarray.

OR: Al-Haitham has feelings, disregards them, but is forced to confront them anyways. How lovely it is to be in love with your roommate. Hurrah.

testing, testing

When Kaveh discovers that Alhaitham has been reading a book about human sexuality and kinks, he generously offers to assist Alhaitham with some sexual exploration. It’s a risky proposal, and one that could end very badly—thanks to their falling-out years ago, the two of them have trust issues galore.

But it turns out that Kaveh and Alhaitham are surprisingly good at trust and communication when it comes to sex…which raises some questions about the nature of their relationship, and where exactly this whole experiment is leading them.

“Look,” Kaveh says, “if you’re going to approach sexual pleasure like an experiment, most potential partners won’t take too kindly to the idea of you having sex with them for science. Therefore, to spare all the poor people you’d inevitably insult in your quest for data, I am willing to be that person.”

“How charitable of you,” Alhaitham says.

“And I assume that you’re somewhat comfortable with the idea of having sex with me,” Kaveh adds, “or else you wouldn’t have been so willing to have my fingers in your mouth just now.”

but what would you do if I went to touch you now?

Al Haitham directs half-lidded eyes at Kaveh, his wet hair sticking to his forehead, his sweater stretching over the planes of his torso as he raises his arms to lay his head on his hands. Kaveh finds the charcoal and resists the urgent need to tell Al Haitham to stay still so he can capture him like this, made up of shadows and comfort. “I suppose having a rope doing the work for me would be best for the mental and physical effort of it. I commend you for thinking of that.”

“Don’t flatter me now,” Kaveh half-heartedly protests, wincing slightly. It’s so odd when Al Haitham does that; as much as Kaveh complains about him being rude, there’s nothing more off-putting than Al Haitham’s backhanded idea of compliments. Finally pulling out the cotton rope, Kaveh sighs and makes eye contact with him, shaking the item in his hand. “You might hate this.”

“I might like it,” Al Haitham refutes, raising an eyebrow. Kaveh struggles to justify the little jolt from his heart at the idea.

-------------------------

In which Al Haitham (rather charitably) allows Kaveh to use him as a model for his art projects, Kaveh has an idea, and it all spirals from there.

The Dragon Rises in Wartime

The anonymous complaints confessions of a long-suffering Sumeru resident regarding his horrible roommate and his one-man war against said horrible roommate's purchase of the ugliest bed in all of Teyvat.

Although really, the most important question here probably is:

Why are you sleeping in your roommate's bed?

A really funny reddit-post style fic, with a little bit of explicit recordings on the side.