#and I hear a lot about honoring your players decisions

[dreamingkelz]

Every time I see someone say “well the eggs HAVE to die for the lore to progress,” I get frustrated.  Why?  For what?  Part of this Dungeon Master-style storytelling is that sometimes your players will go off the path, and sometimes they’ll straight up break the campaign.  It’s happened to me before.  My DM didn’t retcon our decisions or railroad us into making the choices he needed us to make.  He rewrote the ending.  And it was an amazing ending.

It seems pretty clear that the admin team had no idea just how much of a hit the egg event would be.  These players have all had their own, personal streaming buddy for the past two months to get attached to.  But the story apparently dictates that the eggs have to die, so no matter what the players want, and no matter how hard they try to prevent it, the eggs have to die?  Why?  What is so necessary about dead eggs that the story can’t be reworked to give the players more agency in whether or not a huge chunk of their character, not to mention gameplay gets taken from them?

[piecesofeden11]

WIP Wednesday

And now for something completely different. As, after a long hiatus, my DnD campaign has finally picked up again, I have found that much of my worldbuilding has gotten a little outdated by split-second decisions at the table and, frankly, bs I made up on the spot because it felt right in that second, so I'm currently busy revising a lot of the lore for my world. My WIP I offer today to those interested, therefore, is a little snippet into the Divine lore of my homebrew setting, Irion. (@my players. This is all safe for you, as it's knowledge your characters would have more or less :D <3) I'd love to hear what everyone thinks!!! (even if you know nothing of DnD <3)

Myth: As the Ancients ruled what is now Irion (which is, technically speaking, only the Sister Continents and the Islands), there were seven Kingdoms in total. Izmera was Queen of one of them, until a war broke out amongst the Kingdoms.

Ruthless and powerful, Izmera won the war, crowing herself Empress of all of Irion. The cost of the war was great, extinguishing the Ancients from the world or driving them back towards the Worlds beyond the Veil, realms and planes outside of the known cosmos.

Izmera, however, held on to her throne and watched over the new life spreading across her kingdom, elves and dwarves and humans and all manner of other folk starting to settle and she followed their progress with interest.

Those fortunate enough to gaze upon her began to spread word of her divinity, setting up shrines and temples in her name and honor, thus starting her following as a goddess.

Of the Ancient that stayed, Exias was closest to Izmera and they are said to have been lovers. The Elven folk of Irion claim to be the offspring of their union.

That about sums up the bulk of Exias' involvement in the world. He is said to hold no interest in the mortal realm and rarely is his influence felt in the world.

The most involved and beloved of all the divine of Irion must surely be Korien Songbird. Her willingness to sacrifice herself when Exias, in a stroke of cruelty, demanded an offering of 12 children in order to bring rain to Korien's native lands, caught the eye of Izmera. Stories about how exactly this sacrifice happened or was supposed to happen, vary from place to place. In some, she merely offers her death instead of the 12 children, in others she bargained with Exias that the children would have to be his own, born of her own body. Whichever tale is told, the result is always that Izmera, disgusted by Exias' cruelty, stepped in and saved the young princess, elevating her to godhood and preserving her youth and beauty in immortality. Korien accepted the goddess' gift and declared herself the goddess of death. She is said to appear to the sick and dying, be it on their deathbeds or on battlefields, giving them comfort in their last moments and leading them to the city of the dead beyond the veil.

Next came Yara Duskforged, an empress of dwarven descent, who set out to build the greatest empire the world had ever seen. Under her rule, dwarves began to mine under almost every mountain in Irion, creating an unfathomable network of caves and cities below the earth. Her origin is disputed nowadays, with every dwarven clan claiming to be in direct line to her and their city build on top of Yara's legendary empire.

According to legend, Izmera came to Yara on her deathbed and, impressed by her tenacity, offered her immortality.

[youareinlove]

I don’t know if you’ve ever done it, but have you ever wrote one long analysis of cardigan and the whole teenage love triangle?

i have a breakdown of folklore as an album that touches on the teenage love triangle, but i didn't go as in-depth as i would like to and talked more about how the songs related to folklore's overall themes as an album versus individual inspirations. also i think my opinion on some of the inspiration behind it has become more well-rounded so i'll put more of that here

so i think most people know by now that augustine, betty, and james are the main players of the folklore love triangle. cardigan = betty's perspective, betty (song) = james's perspective, and august = augustine's perspective. the most fundamentally important part of understanding the love triangle is that taylor is all three of them.

cardigan so cardigan is the first we hear of the teenage love triangle on folklore, which i think is so interesting because it's not the obvious choice. while betty (song) and august are narrated by teenagers (and you can TELL), cardigan is clearly narrated by an older betty who has done some maturing. the story's told from the perspective of someone who has processed what happened, while the other two (especially august) feel like active processing. cardigan tells the same story that betty (song) does, but in a much more vague way, which confused me initially but now makes sense to me because the song isn't really about the events that happened, betty (song) does that job. cardigan is an intensive look at how those events impacted betty as a person. betty, presumably in her teenage years and during the bulk of her relationship with james, is outlined as someone who doesn't have the ability to validate herself and needs to get that from someone else. we can assume that this is because of 1) daddy issues ("leaving like a father") and 2) the world invalidating her perspective ("when you are young they assume you know nothing"). she gets that validation from james, her boyfriend ("hand under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better," "and when i felt like i was an old cardigan, under someone's bed / you put me on and said i was your favorite"), but loses it very suddenly when he cheats on her and breaks her heart ("a friend to all, is a friend to none / chase two girls, lose the one"). it's a formative moment for her because the relationship was her lifeline in many ways and not having that hurts her all over again ("you drew scars, around my scars, and now i'm bleeding"). the bridge talks about james rushing to fix things, but also it isn't really about that because it isn't about him. it's about how she had to learn to give herself what she was looking to james for, and she does ("cause i knew everything when i was young"). she honors her own perspective, voice, and agency, and the fact that she was perfectly capable the entire time. the point isn't that he put her on and said she was his favorite, the point is that she doesn't need him to do that anymore but had to learn that the hard way. starting the story with cardigan seems like a questionable decision because of how mature it is, but it also makes sense in a lot of ways because knowing how the events of the story affected betty is pretty crucial to understanding betty (song). also i think there's something to be said about how she chose to begin with the woman's perspective.

august next we get to hear from augustine. augustine is the "other woman" or the one james cheats with, and her sympathetic portrayal is very, very important (more on that later). we get to know that she was really in love with james and didn't feel casual about him at all, but was treated casually because he just didn't like her the way she liked him. the song is very much her processing this and feeling used and discarded, but also kind of dejectedly recognizing that she never had a shot because he was never really hers. august and foolish one really are sisters in that way. also there's like, a heavy implication that james was her first time (iykwim) and that's part of why it hurts so much that it ended the way it did. i think the best part of august is the way that she shows us without directly telling us the differences between how augustine and betty experienced their relationship with james. betty gets closure, augustine doesn't. betty (in cardigan) has verse after verse of different moments with james, because she was with him for years, but augustine talks about the moments during the summer (many of which are from like, the same day) over and over because that's all she had. it's subtle but it's there

betty (song) there is something so very intentional about the guy getting to say his piece last (i have no other elaboration lmfao, just wanted to start off with that). so betty (song) is like, the most clear-cut about What Happened which i believe is because betty and august have to process and think about how it affected their life and their person but james just gets to think about the story because he was the one fucking around and hurting other people. he knows he needs to apologize, and i don't feel the need to elaborate on that apology too much because it's like, in the lyrics lol. but i think betty (song) showcases the closure betty got that augustine didn't. whether or not she took him back is up for debate, and whether or not the apology is good is also up for debate, but at the end of the day neither of those things matter because the point is that it's an open-ended resolution to the story. you get to see how much he cares about betty and how little he cares about augustine (just a summer fling indeed).

the gender of it all it's impossible to ignore gender here because it's SO important to the story, specifically for betty and james. a lot of betty's initial struggle of being invalidated and diminished is because she's a smart teenage girl, and there's nothing society hates more than a young girl with opinions. they're both young teenagers, but the dichotomy of how their youth factors into their story is very intentional. for betty, she's told she "knows nothing" because she is young. her perspective is considered less important, she's made to doubt herself as so many young girls are when it comes to their instincts. even though adult betty is able to recognize that she was right the whole time and "knew everything when i was young," one of the greatest pains of the relationship for her was the way she was forced into that recognition. for james, he gets to say "i'm only seventeen, i don't know anything." he gets to dodge responsibility and make excuses for himself because of his age, and society is like "ok makes sense." his wrong perspective is only propped up and validated, which is a stark contrast to how betty feels. for augustine, as the "other woman," it would be easy for the narrative to encourage the popular and kinda sexist narrative that she got in the way of the relationship and was a homewrecker/evil mistress. but instead, she gets to be a teenage girl who was hurt. the narrative tells you that she's a kid who maybe made a mistake but it doesn't blame her. that's a luxury that's usually only afforded to men (and the luxury james takes advantage of).

real life inspiration i have to keep this part short bc i'm about to hit character limit but there are shades of her relationship with jake in august (having your first time and it feeling special but then being discarded and feeling kinda used) and some of the hurt around it. her relationship with harry (see: 1989 vault) feels like a driving force around the love triangle as well, because it's a very similar story. and i also think that the summer of 2016 with joe is a part of all this. people have said that august feels a lot like if cruel summer went the other way and they're right (again, there's some bits and pieces that are more sex-adjacent but that's another thing). and some of the references to betty's mental health and how james made things feel ok is very her & joe in 2016. it's kind of a lot of different events in her life and i think writing the love triangle helped her unpack how some of them led to each other. also impossible to ignore the similarities between how the world invalidated her for years and how the world invalidates betty

[robynahaley]

Hello there! I just found your Tumblr account and wanted to say how much I absolutely adore Mythic Ocean. I played it a few years back, got a few friends into it, and have recently been thinking about buying it on my Switch to play again!

The art direction, character design, and overall gameplay themes surrounding morals and decisions with a colorful cast of gods and other friends are all so wonderfully done!

I think my favorite character would have to be Gnosis. Not because I agree with their sentiments, of course, but because I am such a sucker for "eldritch" entities that have such drastically different, often stubborn, mindsets from mortals and end up having horribly negative affects on them/their world- no matter how much knowledge they have. It's such an interesting character concept to me, as there's so many ways to go about such a thing!

Close favorites are definitely Amar, Elil, and Lutra. Though, all of the characters really have special places in my heart! I believe I actually have old art of Amar lying around in my files somewhere. I'll have to dig it up some time again, haha!

But I really just wanted to thank you and your team for creating such a passionate universe that is able to be explored by players! Mythic Ocean gives me a wonderful sense of happy nostalgia. :)

Thank you @bl00dblight. Always means a lot when people not only find me, appreciate the game, but take the time to reach out. It's wild to me thinking that the word nostalgia would be used for Mythic Ocean, but it fits it somehow as we always wanted it to give a sense of exploration and becoming familiar over and over again with a found family. It's an honor to hear it gives you that wonder and nostalgia.

Would absolutely love to see that fan art!

[0carkki0]

Yeah. I'm a bit salty at ArenaNet ruining the whole idea of Vivs' childhood sweetheart being this NPC, but I knew the risks when I started to plan it. So yes, everyone who made Trahearne their sibling/sweetheart... I feel somewhat your pain.

Well.... The asura is the kind that has one sweetie at a time and might even have a specific schedule for how long it will last... So it wouldn't be a completely bad thing that Taimi had a thing for Vivs first, and when the Dragons were dealt with went with Gorrik. And now that Zojja is in the picture again I have wondered if I should go for Zojja x Vividatt now. Or should I make Gorrik and Vividatt have some kind of trio -relationship, or should Vivs just stay as this guy who sleeps around. No one to be attached to. You plan so long for something, and just one decision from the devs and it's ruined. - _ -

I get it. I'm just one of the players. They can't start pleasing single fans like that when they want to create a story.

Like I have said many times, Vivs isn't the romantic type, but he absolutely loves everything sexual, which is interesting since he's a pansexual. Which kind still would make sense, since he doesn't stare at appearances or genders. What he does stare at is age. The elderly are fine, but they rarely match Vivs' stamina, so he rather not kill people with sex.

Anyway, I could easily imagine Vivs' bad side being triggered by these demons. While at the same time, since they tend to bring out emotional torment, the bad side doesn't want to take over and lets the good side enjoy the suffering. However, that suffering can turn the good Vivs on more, which puts the risk of the bad side coming out at the edge as well.

They keep praising the Commander. Have they ever thought to peek into a world without the Commander? Bring out a Fractal of such a world? I personally would love to see it. And I'm sure Vividatt would like to see it too, that if he finally died, what would happen. He would be curious to see which one of his friends would stand out more in the world saving. Though, it probably would not be good for his depression to witness how someone else could easily replace him, but it would at least ease one of his worries about what would they do if he died.

Have you guys ever wondered what all the info we miss as the Commander? There could be a lot more fans of the Commander out there, but the Commander never hears from them, either because these people are shy, or they just never got a chance to talk to them. Also, the Wizards could already know what the world without the Commander looks like but have decided not to say anything to them. Either keep them humble or not put more pressure on their shoulders, that they already have.

It would also be great to see the Commander solve a BIG problem with charm. So far the honor has been the right way to go.

I see charm as saying the right words at the right time. Even if the truth was bent a bit or downright lying. This of course depending if talking to villains or friends. Honor, saying things as they are, even if it's not what people want to hear. Of course, either straightforward, or trying to soften the brutal truth, but still telling things as they are. And brutal, from threatening to rude and aggressive. Was it a lie or not.

I also like to think, that the last fight Vivs had with Cerus somehow triggered Vivs' literal bloodlust.

[ahundredtimesover]

Inevitable (02) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)

Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)

Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content in future chapters (oral, unprotected sex but be safe please!)

Chapter Word count: 7.2k

Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

A/N: So appreciative of your love for this story! I’m quite nervous with this one because I had to make changes last minute so I hope you still enjoy it. Also, you can message me if you want to be part of the taglist (or if I missed tagging you)!

Series Masterlist || Previous || Next

##

“Thank you again, Mr. Jeon. Quite frankly, this still feels surreal but we’re so glad you’re back.”

Jungkook bows at the man, one of the executives of the Doosan Bears, one he’d just had a meeting with, which followed an interview with a sports writer. 

For the past week, Jungkook’s days have been filled with meeting and talking to many people, forcing smiles and making conversations that quite frankly tire him but he welcomes this, knowing that any beat of silence will just force his mind to settle on you. And his pain. And his anger.

The man stops him in the hallway to point at a frame of the elder Jeon holding up the team’s 1999 championship trophy. 

“Hopefully you’ll have one, too, and we’ll place it right next to this,” he says, a statement that Jungkook’s been hearing in a variety of forms the past few days of interviews and appearances. 

It’s different this time because his father had achieved so many things back here, a national hero if people wanted to stretch it. Here, Jungkook has to live up to expectations, which many people believe he’ll exceed. His father, a good player and an even better leader, had been loved by many in the sports world, and it’s an honor they get to watch Jungkook play in the flesh, reminiscent of the man that many adored.

In the US, they didn’t know his father, so Jungkook was able to pave his own path there, make a name for himself guided only by the thought and dream of his hero, and not living in his shadow. It’s a dream they shared and one he’d achieved. 

But for the first time, it doesn’t comfort Jungkook. For the first time, it angers him. It’s that dream that took you away from him, that took Jungwon away from him. It’s this dream that essentially broke his heart in ways he never imagined. 

**

Everyone is quiet as they absorb everything that Jungkook has said. Since that day at your apartment, he’d been radio silent when it came to his friends, but he’s here at Jin’s loft now, with Jimin whom he’s still cold towards, and Yoongi and Hoseok who complete the group, as they’re Jin’s and Namjoon’s friends from college who’d gotten close to the young ones, too.

They’re glad they finally have the time to just be together after a crazy week. Ironically, it’s a somber event. This isn’t how they imagined welcoming the young one home. 

They’re incomplete though. By nature of the concern at hand, Taehyung isn’t around; he’d left the group chat anyway so he wouldn’t have known that Jungkook messaged - finally, after a week of bombarding everyone with messages about you only to stop after he stormed out of your apartment. Namjoon is also not here, still not checking their group chat.

“Wow, I can’t believe ___ was pregnant all that time and had been able to keep the kid from us for years,” Hoseok finally speaks up, shock still evident in his voice. He’d been the one most vocal in stating what everyone else was thinking, the rest opting to just shut up and leave the talking to Jungkook, who’s now allowed himself to once again feel all the emotions in the presence of his friends.

They know that very little things get to him - whether they’re external stressors, outside pressure, naysayers, envious people, or school, he’d always been able to manage them. 

He rarely gets angry, too, and doesn’t really let negative feelings fester, so Jungkook with a piercing gaze, pursed lips, flared nostrils, and clenched fists, as he is right now, is an unfamiliar sight to them.

And it’s all because of you.

Jungkook never took the very few relationships he had before you seriously; he’d been too focused on the sport ever since he was a kid. 

But you captured him immediately and since that day at the field when he’d thrown a baseball and almost hit Taehyung on the arm and you’d shouted at Jungkook relentlessly for being a careless jerk, he knew that he’d want to shut you up with kisses just so you could get mad at him again. 

He’d been a cheeky sophomore then, enjoying the bit of popularity he was gaining in Seoul for being an immediate standout of their university’s baseball team - the Pride of Busan, he’d been called - and he hadn’t expected this beautiful woman to almost knock him out for almost hitting her friend, even if Taehyung had been adamant that the hit was several centimeters off.

“I have better aim than that,” Jungkook had told you smugly, and his heart fluttered at the gagging face you made. 

He wasn’t usually that bold but he felt it was worth it, especially if it was to see you scowl then try to hide a smile after. It took a few days until you’d given him more than 5 minutes of your time, then another few weeks before you finally agreed to a date, and then just two months to convince you that he was definitely worthy to be something more. 

You both knew you’d fallen in love with each other even before either of you said it, the words always catching in your throats whenever you tried, but then he finally did, and he was over the moon when you’d said it back and he’d never been happier. 

Even when you walked out that door and out of his life that December evening, he’d held onto you, your lingering presence enough for you to still be his anchor, his love, his guiding light. 

He never thought that at one point, he’d beg for that to not be you. Just the thought of you sends him into a spiral, not of heartbreak or despair like before, he reckons that was even better; but of the feeling of resentment and betrayal. 

Everyone’s chatter faints into background noise for a while, with Jungkook’s friends saying maybe you’d come back to Seoul only recently, hearing from Namjoon that you stayed in Daejeon with your cousin to work at a tech company. It had been a mystery how none of them caught up sooner, having only seen you twice a year at most and not knowing anything else.

“Ask Jimin,” Jungkook chimes in bitterly. “He was in on it anyway.”

The three older men turn to the man in question, Jimin meeting their curious gazes with a guilty look, knowing at some point Jungkook would grill him.

“Remember that woman I dated two years ago, the teacher?” He sighs. 

Everyone nods.

“I surprised her one time at the daycare center where she was working. That’s how I bumped into ___. It was pretty obvious at first glance that Jungwon is Kook’s kid. I mean,” Jimin smiles, thinking about the little boy who’s taken his heart as well, reminding him of the best parts of Jungkook that's laid dormant for years. “Wide eyes, shy smile, puffy cheeks and soft features. It was unmistakable.”

Jimin remembers that day well, how flustered you’d been, arriving at the daycare an hour late and profusely apologizing to the staff. He’d stopped you then, his shocked face enough to let you know what he was thinking as you held the boy in your arms. It didn’t take long for you to tell him the truth, begging him not to tell his best friend. 

“He’s finally playing in the major league, Jimin. There are too many good things going on for him there. I mean he— he’s happy. It won’t do good for me to tell him now,” you’d told him. 

Jimin could’ve pressed more, should’ve gone to the root of your decision to hide it in the first place, or maybe even convinced you to tell Jungkook the truth, but you looked too stressed, a permanent fixture on your face, he thought, and he didn’t want to push it. 

So he left it at that, knowing as well that between the pressure to do well and the rumors going around, this type of news would be a big hit to Jungkook. Ultimately, Jimin didn’t think it was his place to meddle; the most he could do was support you any way he could. 

“How is he, the kid?” Jin questions, knowing his cousin would want to know but is too stubborn and angry to ask.

“The sweetest,” Jimin beams. “He’s pretty shy but becomes playful once he’s warmed up to you. He’s smart, just like ___, and is so caring, he's very affectionate and even talks to insects and—“ he pauses, as Yoongi nudges his knee and motions for him to stop.

Jungkook is still, jaws clenched again at the thought that these are things he doesn’t know and for obvious reasons. Thinking about how Taehyung and Jimin have done so much more for and with his own kid hurts him. 

He loves his friends, knows he should be thankful that they’d been there for you and Jungwon but he can’t shake off the frustration, the jealousy. He wonders if any other man had the privilege of getting to know his son that way, of getting close to him. 

He wonders, too, if any other man had gotten close to you. That’s a pang in his chest he doesn’t want to dwell on.

“Look, I’m really sorry, Kook. But a lot of things were happening with you then, too and I didn’t want to just drop that news to you. It would have been too much and—“

“You too?” Jungkook huffs. “I fucking hate it when people think they can just decide on such things about my life without me having a say. Wouldn't that piss you off if it happened to you?” 

He’s met with silence. 

It’s what gets him, really, the fact that people he trusted couldn’t afford him the decency of letting him decide, of trusting him that whatever happens, he was gonna figure it out. 

“Wanna know what I think?” Yoongi speaks up.

“No,” Jungkook responds.

“That was hypothetical,” Yoongi says and shifts in his seat. “We all know ___. She’s very self-assured, sometimes to a fault, but she’s not rash, she’s not selfish. She might have decided on her own but it doesn’t mean she didn’t consider you.”

“She still should’ve talked to me about it. It was too big of a decision to not include me in it,” Jungkook retorts.

“But she was right, wasn’t she? You would have stayed. She knows you too well that you would’ve given up everything.”

“Why does everyone make it sound so bad? Of course I would’ve. That’s my son! I’m not the kind of person who would turn his back on that responsibility,” Jungkook bites back.

“It isn’t bad, but that’s precisely the point. Did you ask yourself why she thought it was worth it? Why she believed that the better option was to not be truthful for as long as you got to live out your dream? For as long as you got to reap the benefits of what you’ve worked so hard for?” Yoongi posits.

Jungkook stills, lips starting to quiver as he processes his friend’s questions.

“Baseball has always been your whole world, Jungkook. She shared you with it. It was all you talked about - the dream, what it meant to you, the connection with your father, the joy you’d feel when playing and hearing the cheers… We knew that, she knew that,” Yoongi continues. 

“Your dream made you, Kook. It was all you knew, and she never complained. She loved you the same. And even with all your anger towards her right now, you know she wouldn’t try to take that dream away from you. Even if it means hurting both of you in the process.”

“But she meant so much to me, too. I would’ve done anything for her, and I thought she knew that,” Jungkook whimpers. He’d never once doubted what he felt for you and he always thought it was enough.

“Yeah, but do you think that was her first thought when she found out she was pregnant? That you’d give up your dream for her without any consequences down the line? She knew you would’ve stayed because you’re the kind of person to do that, but she also knew what that would mean, what that would do to you, and what that would do to them.” 

Yoongi, ever the wise one of the group, makes everyone think. 

The silence is deafening, but Jungkook doesn’t miss the way the guys have taken to slight nods and furrowed brows.

“Baseball was too important to you. She probably believed you’d lose more if you didn’t take the opportunity then. Not being there for her and your son was something she maybe thought you could always make up for,” Yoongi states. 

Of your brother’s friends, Yoongi had always been the one you were closest to, spent the most nights at parties with, talking and agreeing on things. This is probably why he gets it, gets why you felt like you had to do what you did.

“Kook, don’t think she never planned on telling you. She never meant to keep it a secret forever,” Jimin says, recalling your claims that you just needed the right time to eventually tell Jungkook. “Maybe that’s why you’re even more frustrated; maybe you think she never wanted to involve you. Of course she does. You were her whole world and—“

“Baseball was mine,” Jungkook finishes, resigning to the idea that that's what you always thought, and you weren’t wrong. “She thinks I’d resent them down the road if I stayed and gave up on my dream.”

“I love you, Kook, but that fear is valid,” Jin says. “I’m not saying I agree with her decision but I think I get where she’s coming from.”

“But hey, you have all the right to be angry,” Hoseok says, disrupting the silence that’s enveloped everyone again. “Just don’t be so consumed by it, okay? You’re back, you have more of a reason to stay, so just think of where you need to go from here. You have all of us, you and ___ and Jungwon have all of us.”

Jungkook wipes off the tears that have silently fallen down his cheeks, the most he’s cried in front of his friends in years. It had been a change on his end after the break up - the walls he put up, the control he had over his emotions, the once soft heart hardening in places to make sure he wouldn’t hurt as much again. He hates to admit that it had all been because of you.

Jin’s phone rings and cuts through the silence that’s tainted with short sniffles.

“Namjoon saw the chat, wonders if he could come,” Jin asks.

“No need, I’m gonna leave soon,” Jungkook responds.

Jin relays the message to Namjoon who sends his own, then finishes the call.

“He said he wants to check up on you, too. You should meet up with him, I think it’d be good. It’s Namjoon, Kook. He loves his sister to death but you know he’ll be objective about it, too. Think about it, okay?”

Jungkook nods then lets some time pass before he leaves. 

**

He thinks about it that night until the wee hours of the morning. For the first time, he thinks about what you felt the moment you found out, about what you were feeling and thinking that led you to decide to break up, and if you really planned on making him believe that you didn’t think it’d work out to cover up the truth.

Everything the guys said tonight rings in his head. What made you think this was the better option? What made you think he’d lose more if he gave up on the dream instead of being in your and Jungwon’s life? Why did you think his dream was more important than his life with you? Why did you think he’d resent you down the road? 

It’s not lost on him that his dream seemed to trump everything else. It would always go back to that, it would always be about that, how even during that life-changing moment of you finding out you were carrying his child, what you considered was him and baseball. 

He recalls the days leading up to the break up, how your conversations had been about his move, but never about the two of you. He chalked it up to thinking it was a given, that of course you’d stay together. He never realized that it wasn’t actually clear to you; it had been a given to him but not to you.

Jungkook doesn’t remember fights about lack of time because of training, or him not being in the mood after a bad game. Everything you’ve ever been to him was patient, understanding, and accepting of the sport he’d dedicated his whole life to, like it was a given, like it was the most important thing, like it was the third party in your relationship. And you never complained.

He loved you for that and more, for the fighter that you were, for the strong and goal-oriented woman that you were, for the thoughtful and warm-hearted person you’ve always been. He loved you so much. He’d fallen so hard that he willingly gave you his heart and let you do whatever you wanted with it, as long you had it. Because of that, you hurt him so terribly, he didn’t know how he could recover.

He thinks now that maybe it was on him, too. Maybe he didn’t tell you enough just how much you meant to him. Maybe he could’ve done more, appreciated you more, or at least let you know that you were just as much a part of his plan the way baseball was.

Maybe then you would’ve trusted him that you two would work it out, that it would be okay if he had to let go of his dream to be the partner that you needed, to be the father you needed him to be for your child.

But maybe you both didn’t know any better, he also thinks. You were so young, maybe it was too much to ask you to trust him, maybe you were also right not to. He’d definitely grown up the past years, and maybe he wouldn’t have if you didn’t break his heart the way you did.

He thinks about how you’d been the past years, too, how you took care of Jungwon on your own, how hard it must’ve been for you. But any more and he knows he’ll break down, and he doesn’t trust himself doing that alone. 

He sighs at all the thoughts in his head and his mixed emotions. But his friends are right. He’s home now - he has all the resources, the time - what matters is what happens next. 

He wants to understand better, and to know what you went through but he can’t bring himself to ask you. He knows you’ll brush off the sacrifices, the struggles; you never wanted to make others see your vulnerability, know of your weakest moments. So he decides to ask someone else. It’s 4AM but he doesn’t care.

[To: Namjoon]: Can we meet up? Jin’s bar at 7pm. See you.

**

“Uncle Tete, I choose this one!” Jungwon excitedly says, pointing at a toy submarine on the shelf. Taehyung is quick to retrieve the item then puts it in the cart. 

“Okay, what else does this muffin want?” 

“Tae, I said one thing,” you sigh. “Also, can you make sure that toy doesn’t have removable parts so he doesn’t attract kind strangers to help him?”

Your best friend rolls his eyes but Jimin chuckles next to you. “___, that broken airplane brought you to Jungkook. Plus, Jungwon wandered away; imagine if some other stranger found him,” he says.

“Shut up, I’m traumatized. That wasn’t the best way to let Jungkook know. Plus, I was so flustered that I lied and said I was babysitting,” you groan to yourself. You always knew how to carry yourself but it was really only Jungkook who ever made you feel nervous. 

“I made it seem like I really meant to lie and you know that’s not true. I just didn’t know he was gonna be back. And you didn’t tell me,” you glare at Jimin.

“You think I didn’t give him shit for not telling me?” He replies. “Only Jin knew. Even I didn’t think he’d actually sign with the Bears. Everything was so fast. Before I knew it, he was already boarding a plane back home.”

“Well, he did say he didn’t wanna bug you since you’ve been so busy with your show,” Tae says from the shelf next to you. “Jungwon wants this puppy towel, by the way. Can I buy it for him?”

“Tae, I said just one thing. Stop spoiling him. We’re supposed to buy his school supplies,” you whine.

“Right, his father’s gonna hate me even more,” he mumbles. 

“Okay, muffin. Mama said just one thing. Let’s go look at crayons now,” Tae tells Jungwon who smiles back at him and agrees.

“How’s rehearsal by the way?” You ask Jimin.

“Good. Just a few more weeks and we’re ready to go,” he says, excited over the Swan Lake show that his company is putting on. You’re excited, too, certain he’s going to do well. Being a professional ballerina is so much work but he’s always exceeded expectations. You know it can get stressful so maybe that’s why Jungkook didn’t bother informing him earlier. 

“You’re watching, okay? The first show and the last, it’s when everyone is watching, too,” he says. 

“You don’t have to ask, Jimin. Of course, I’ll be there. Sucks that Jungwon won’t get to see his uncle perform though.”

“Okay, just making sure, since Jungkook is here and all.”

“You should ask him, then. He’s the one who detests me,” you sigh.

“He doesn’t detest you, ___. He’s just angry, and with reason.” 

You don’t miss the stern tone of his voice. You always felt the disappointment that Jimin felt towards you with what happened, even stayed away for a while after the breakup. Moving back to your parents’ home had been a good escape, seeing as how you didn’t know how to face your friends after everything. 

It wasn’t until 2 years ago when Jimin bumped into you at the daycare that you two got to talking again. You know he decided to stick around for Jungwon, but it always worried you that he’d eventually tell Jungkook but he never did, which you were thankful for.

“I never said it wasn’t justified. I mean, after last week, I hope he stays angry at me, you know? And for a long time. I deserve that.”

“Hey, don’t talk that way.”

“You think I’m wrong? That I don’t deserve his anger?”

Jimin sighs. The department store really isn’t the best place for this but he proceeds anyway. 

“It’s not that. I mean, it’s one thing to hurt him by suddenly breaking up with. And I won’t lie to you, ___, you broke him. That night, I found him curled in a ball by the door, unmoving, kind of like how I used to find him when we were younger… after his dad died.”

You release a long breath, not even wanting to imagine a balled-up Jungkook, sobbing. You heard him that night, how he begged for you to please don’t go. You walked away from the closed door then, as any moment longer would’ve just made you take it back.

“But it’s also another thing to lie about his son,” Jimin continues. 

“You know I had to do it; he wouldn’t have agreed to break up if I didn’t make him believe that I didn’t want him anymore. And I had to keep Jungwon from him because I couldn’t let him stay. I mean, Jungkook and I just couldn’t be together, it wasn’t that easy.“

“Weren’t there other options?” Jimin wonders. “Maybe like, I don’t know, going with him?”

He’d heard Jungkook mention in passing before about possibly asking you to go with him but he doesn’t know if his best friend ever got to ask. 

No one really knows what happened that night; Jungkook never said anything more than it’s over. No explanations, no follow-ups. Three days later, he talked to the school administration and requested for an early completion of his requirements so he could leave for the US as soon as possible.

“It never really entered my mind… I mean, I got pregnant after the deal was finalized and that was not an option at all,” you explain. “It would’ve been too hard, too scary. I mean, we were still so young and to be in a foreign place, by ourselves, with a child? And we were just together for 2 years, that would’ve been a huge step and—“

“Did you doubt what he felt?”

“What do you mean?”

“You talk as if you didn’t think you were ready as a couple for that step. You two loved each other so much. He loved you so, so much, ___. Doesn’t matter how hard things would’ve been, he would’ve done everything he could to make sure you two would make it, he would’ve done whatever he needed to make you happy.”

“It’s not that simple, Jimin. He needed support there, needed someone to help him and make things easier, not someone - more like two people - to take care of and what would have I done for him? What would have I offered?”

“That wouldn’t have mattered though, right? He always wanted to make you happy, being with you would’ve been enough, I mean, he loved you that much.”

Jimin is met with silence, and it hits him what Yoongi was pointing out the night before, and it crushes him. Maybe if you knew just how much you mattered to Jungkook, maybe you would’ve trusted him, maybe you would’ve trusted the both of you.

You let out a deep sigh instead. You never doubted Jungkook’s love for you; you just knew there were other more important things, things he‘s dedicated much more time on, unlike you. 

You shake the thoughts away. You know that dwelling on the what if’s won’t help your mind and your heart, especially now.

You and Jimin settle on watching Taehyung help Jungwon decide on which crayons and colored clay to choose for art class, smiling at the little boy who’s been nothing but the sweetest angel. 

Your smile fades away though, at the thought of how it must be for him too, meeting all these men who always introduce themselves as his uncle, never his father. 

Jungwon had asked you only twice - one time when he asked if he was made of magic because there was this older kid in the playground who said that her mommy and daddy made her but Jungwon didn’t have a daddy; the other time was more straightforward, just where is Papa. 

That kind of pain is truly unmatched, you think, and you settle for telling the little kid that his Papa is somewhere doing good things but that Papa loves him even if he isn’t around. No promises, no false hope. You made the choice and your kid shouldn’t suffer too much for it - you know Jungkook would love him no matter what. 

“How has Jungkook been, by the way? And I want the truth, Jimin,” you ask as you save your sad thoughts for another day. 

Since you reconnected two years ago, you never really talked about Jungkook and Jimin had always made sure to only bring him up when you asked. Which was never. 

Everything is now out in the open though so you think there’s no harm in asking.

“Like I said, you broke him,” he sighs. “He hasn’t really been the same. We were all so worried, that’s why Jin made sure to go with him when he left; it’s why I made sure to visit him twice a year. He just became different, you know? Like a light was put out.”

You let this process for a bit. It had been the same with you, only you had a child to remind you of Jungkook. It had been hard to get over him - you didn’t break up with him because you didn’t love him anymore, anyway; it was the opposite, in fact. 

But you had to try to at least move on because at the back of your mind, you knew that things weren’t going to be the same after that. You knew Jungkook would never abandon your son, would never not love him; you are altogether a different story. 

“He was doing pretty well though, wasn’t he?” You shift the discussion.

You recall having watched games for the first few years. He’d been signed to the affiliate team of the LA Dodgers and was playing in Oklahoma City. He was an immediate standout and was chosen by the major league team to play in the roster the year after. It was almost meteoric, considering that he was a foreigner and thus, largely unheard of, but he was in tip-top shape, eye-hand coordination impressive, batting skills a dream especially as a rookie, and ran like Flash that it was a nickname the locals used to call him. 

“Oh, he was great. Even the man who scouted him didn’t think he would be that great. But that’s expected, I guess, if you spend every waking hour in the gym or in the batting cage, if you follow a strict and intense schedule even during the off-season, and if you have no distractions like friends or girlfriends,” Jimin explains, pointing out all the sacrifices behind the success.

“But Maia—”

“Was probably the first friend he made outside of his team. You’d expect her to be his girlfriend too, right?”

You pause at this. You knew that at some point, Jungkook would move on from you; you did make him believe you didn’t want to be with him anymore, anyway. Yet, it was still a bitter pill to swallow when you found out about his relationship. She was a model-actress, so her presence in the games would often cause a buzz. 

“He just changed in a way. There were all these walls up, even from us. You took a very big piece of him, ___. I’m surprised he even got to recover. I was afraid he wasn’t gonna be able to move on from you.”

There’s a pang in your chest at the seeming finality of Jimin’s words. Of course Jungkook would move on from you, of course at one point he’d realize that things would be better without you. You just didn’t think it would hurt like this.

“That’s good for him, then.”

“Have you?”

“Yes, of course,” you say. You hope he doesn’t miss the uncertainty in your voice, that he doesn’t detect the lie.

**

Jungkook enters the venue and heads straight to the bar where Namjoon is already waiting. 

“Scotch, please,” Jungkook calls to the bartender, earning him a remark from the older man about how even his alcoholic preference has upgraded.

“It’s smoother,” Jungkook says, fixing himself on the barstool. 

There’s an air of silence between the two men that is almost uncomfortable. 

It had never been like this. Namjoon is a protective brother but given that Jin is one of his good friends who’d vouched for the young man, it had been easy for Namjoon to go soft on Jungkook. He saw how much Jungkook cared for you, made you happy, and as your brother, he’ll always be grateful for that.

“How are you?” The older man asks, sipping on his Martini.

“Great. Just found out my ex-girlfriend was pregnant with our son whom I didn’t know existed until a week ago. You?”

“Not great. My parents have been calling me, asking how ___ is and how you are and if things are okay. Don’t exactly know how to break the news that things aren’t actually fine.”

“They must hate me, huh?”

“Nope. You know our parents always stayed out of our relationships. They always liked you, though. But is that what you really wanna know?”

Jungkook exhales, trying to calm himself. He had time to think things through, but facing the emotions had been difficult.

“I just wanna try to understand. I want so badly to justify what she did so I could stop being so angry. I just want to stop feeling… this,” he says, clutching his chest, lips quivering. “It hurts so bad, I just don’t want to feel this anymore.”

Namjoon weakens at the sight of Jungkook like this, desperate to feel something else other than pain, other than anger. He’d heard from Jin how it was so hard for the young man to accept losing you, and then all this? It’s a lot for one person to handle.

“She was so selfish, leaving me like that, thinking I would be okay on my own. And then I finally accepted what happened only to find out that we have a child all this time? Please, please make me understand,” he begs, eyes glassy now.

“Look,” Namjoon says, turning to Jungkook, who, even with his build, has never looked so small. 

“I won’t defend her and say that I think she made the right decision. It’s just that she made the best decision she could make at that moment. She knew what was at stake and she felt that choice was the better one,” he explains, similar to what Yoongi had posited. 

This is your brother who always had a good read of you and it’s the closest to your thoughts that Jungkook could get.

“She tried to comfort herself everyday by justifying what she did - that you did well, made it to the major league a year later. You did what you set out to do. And I’m sorry to bring this up but when your mother got sick, wasn’t it that you had enough to pay for it all? No debts, no added stress for her? Life was good for you and your mother. It wasn’t the best, but what if you had stayed?” He asks, the question ringing in his head. 

How would things be if Jungkook stayed?

“Again, I’m not saying she was right, I’m just saying that things happened the way they did and she made a choice. Any other decision would’ve had other consequences and she made the one she could stand by, that she could live with. I mean, it was all she could do.”

Jungkook thinks about this, how he’d felt comforted, too that he was able to pay for all his mother’s medical bills when it got too much. But life wasn’t good; it was excruciating being away from you, thinking all that time that you really didn’t believe in the both of you, convinced that it wasn’t going to work out. 

All he had was the love and joy he got from baseball; it had been enough for him that time. Of course, with what he knows now, it’s different. 

Jungkook goes back to what Namjoon asked, about what he really wanted to know. 

“Did… did she have a hard time?” Eyes pleading. “Tell me, please.”

Namjoon sighs at this, not knowing how to answer. “It wasn’t easy.”

“Don’t simplify it. I need… I need to know. I need to not feel this. I need to not be angry,” he says, voice strained.

“She won’t want your pity, Jungkook, you know her.”

“Please, Namjoon. You know she’ll never tell me. But I need to know.”

The older man lets out a deep breath, knowing that you indeed wouldn’t tell Jungkook any of this. 

“She stayed with my parents in Ilsan after graduation. She was four months along then but was adamant about earning on her own so she took several jobs online. There was a lot of stress but that’s normal, I guess,” Namjoon narrates. “My parents, Taehyung, and our neighbor all took turns staying with her because she’s so stubborn, you know? Wouldn’t tell you if something’s wrong.”

Jungkook knows that all too well, that you really are like that.

“Knowing that, though, my parents had her checked every week. That’s how they determined fetal distress,” Namjoon slows down, tone more somber now. “It was early detection so they were able to perform a c-section right away.” 

Jungkook turns to him, fear and worry etched on the younger man’s face. “She… she had surgery?”

“Yeah. It was pretty tough and Jungwon had to be monitored for any disabilities or delays. But yeah, he managed, she managed,” Namjoon recounts. The events are so far away but it’s like the worry and the relief still feel so real.

“The kid’s strong, Jungkook. He has a soft and sweet soul like you but he's definitely a fighter like his mother. Perfect mix, if I should say so myself,” the older man smiles, trying to turn the conversation to a lighter one. 

He means it though, how Jungwon personifies the best parts of you and Jungkook. 

“But they were okay after?”

“Somewhat. She was required to rest for several weeks so those two bonded like crazy,” Namjoon giggles. “Good thing that Jungwon was a quiet one, barely cried, didn’t give ___ too much of a hard time. It just… took time away from her earning, you know? So once she was capable, she took this job at a marketing firm that was way too hectic but paid well and it just… It was hard.”

“How hard?”

“Hard. Jungkook, she was a single parent. A stubborn and proud one at that. Worked over 12 hours a day, took online jobs during the weekend, took Jungwon to daycare everyday, taught him to do everything, made sure he got to play and all…” Namjoon narrates.

“It’s why my mom visited her every month for those first 2 years, why Ara and I would babysit often, why Taehyung set up a place for Jungwon at his apartment on days when ___ had an event until early morning. She only ever asked help if it was about Jungwon, never if it was about her,” Namjoon sighs, recalling how painful it had been for him as your brother to watch you do it all, never taking a break, never asking for help.

“Stubborn and proud, like you said,” Jungkook states.

“Yeah and well, she made a choice, Jungkook. She made a choice to leave you, to have this child on her own, and she made sure to give him everything while being the best parent she could be, taking on both roles for him and she never complained, not once. She just kept going, you know? Never made Jungwon feel any less or that he was a mistake or that he wasn’t loved enough. She made a decision and she stood by it. I’ll always admire her for that,” Namjoon states, holding his own emotions back.

Jungkook lets this all sink in, suddenly wishing that he was there for you, that you didn’t have to go through all that by yourself, that even with friends and family, he’s hoping you didn’t feel so alone. 

He knows how you are, knows you’ll exhaust yourself before you even ask for help. That’s how he knew you truly loved him, when you would tell him you’re tired, or that you need help, whether it was something as simple as fixing your broken light bulb or using his charms to get the administration office to agree on this event proposal you had. Being open to him let him know you trusted him. Until you didn’t.

You never minded asking him, and Jungkook knows that if he’d been around, you wouldn’t have minded him helping you, making it easier for you. And it crushes him that he’d wanted to be everything you needed him to be for you and for your child but you didn’t even give him a chance.

He lets out a deep breath, the anger slowly dissipating and being replaced with longing, with a kind of sadness that he now doesn’t know how to deal with. 

Namjoon picks up on this and pats him on the shoulder. “Look, I know that you’re still upset and you have the right to be. Just don’t be blinded by that. You’re home. You have a son that I’m sure you want to get to know. Four years is a lot but it’s also just 4 years. Don’t waste any more time that was already taken away from you.”

“Okay,” Jungkook says softly, knowing that it’s still going to take a lot of getting used to.

“So, what do you wanna do now?”

“Maybe meet up with her? I mean, I was yelling at her the last time we saw each other and I just want to ask to see our son.”

“Of course, Kook. I’m sure she’d want that, too.”

**

You’re sitting on one of the benches at the park the next day, watching Jungwon play with Namjoon and his wife, Ara, from afar. Even from here, you can make out the doe eyes of your son and his smile that reaches his eyes. 

He likes the cold, just like you, and he’s been running about with his toy airplane and submarine, which he almost threw in the fountain. You’re smiling fondly, thinking of how the universe had been kind enough to bless you with the sweetest little angel that it could create.

You feel a figure settle next you, not too far away. Namjoon had told you late last night that Jungkook wanted to meet you, perhaps to ask for a workable schedule to spend time with Jungwon.

“Hey,” he says. You shiver, and you know it’s not because of the weather.

“I never got to tell you but I’m so, so sorry, Jungkook,” you say, turning to him, your eyes taking in the sight of him properly for the first time. “There’s so much I need to apologize for and I know it’s gonna take a long time for you to forgive me.” 

You’re unable to rein in your feelings again, but after that first conversation with him and then the one you had with Jimin yesterday, you can’t help the guilt that you’ve been trying to temper bubble to the surface - for hurting him, for not trusting him, for not giving him a choice.

“There’s no point dwelling on what happened. It’s done. I’m here. I have time. And I’d like to spend it with Jungwon as much as possible,” he responds. 

He doesn’t look at you; he just keeps his eyes out on the little boy still running about. His little boy, his son. And he can’t wait to finally hold him, get to know him, fall in love with him.

“Of course, but we need to take it slow. He’s a shy kid and it’ll take a while. Let’s follow his pace, okay?”

“Sure. We can grab lunch on Saturday, then?”

You can’t help the hope that bubbles in your chest. “That sounds good, Jungkook.”

##

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[aroaceacacia]

the idea that the violence in 3rd life/last life is caused by something supernatural - ie. a "red life bloodlust", a curse/illness, etc - kind of. Sucks actually?

hear me out. there IS supernatural influence in the series - martyn's mysterious figure, and the boogeyman in last life is arguably some kind of supernatural force infecting the players. however. what makes 3rd life good, and what will hopefully make last life good too, is that every choice was one the players chose of their own volition.

in the series to my memory theres some evidence that being red (being Dead) affected players' dispositions/states of being somewhat - ie. scar talking about how hollow he felt, ren referring to red scar as a "dead rotting corpse" - but I can't remember a single time the players blamed their atrocities or choices specifically on the fact they were red. in week 8, ren laments that he's been "blinded by the violence", not by him being red. you could argue that skizz is an example of "red life bloodlust" but skizz is just Like That! "i love you guys and i hate them!"

no. third life was, and last life will be, an exploration of how regular decent people can feel pushed to do horrible things, whether that's by a boogeyman illness or because you've seen one too many precious things burn or simply in order to protect the people you care about most. the first few weeks of third life serve as a reminder that our players are people, that they were once friends, and that the tragedy of the series is that their own actions and circumstance violently tore them all apart from one another.

third life and last life are minecraft "lord of the flies" - both are explorations of what could happen if a small group of people were isolated in extreme, life-or-death circumstances

maybe it's just me but including headcanons about a bloodlust or an uncontrollable urge to kill upon reaching your red life feels like it takes away agency and honestly a lot of interesting character nuance! for example: by including a headcanon of "red life bloodlust" you take SO much power out of Ren's character arc in season 1. Ren was a kind and gentle man who was stepped on and bullied a few too many times, who learned to stand up for himself, became a ruler fit to lead his people, and then gave up his life to become red to protect the ones he loved - but he also murdered about half the server in the process! and that's what's interesting about him- that he's good and bad at the same time, and all of those aspects, those faults and virtues, are entirely his own. and in a moment of clarity he begged his right hand man for support because he realized just how far he had fallen from the path of a kind man.

the boogeyman system is a much better way of having a mechanic similar to the idea of a "bloodlust" but it works better because the boogeyman player always has a choice. bdubs could have taken any opportunity to kill etho but he didn't and instead he waited to kill grian. it was impulsive, but it was a decision he made, and now bdubs has to live with those consequences.

also like. if you think of it as a "theory" then the idea of red life bloodlust can be disproven with folks like tango, grian, and martyn in 3rd life (tango setting up a death game, grian Literally Trapping And Murdering Three People, and martyn often hunting people down in order to defend his king's honor) who all did the same stuff while green

anyway. tl;dr give red lives their agency and let them just be dead and kinda pissed about it instead of like, possessed by bloodlust

[mylordshesacactus]

Goals Only Matter In Soccer

A recurring theme I hear from people struggling to “figure out” roleplaying is that they feel their characters are flat, uninteresting, or that they’re otherwise bad at character creation because their characters don’t have “goals.” Or, as the flip side of that coin, that they themselves are bad roleplayers because they either can’t remember their characters’ goals, or can’t/don’t enjoy actually roleplaying those goals.

(A short break for shameless self-promotion: If you want some one-on-one assistance with character creation or are struggling to roleplay, I do one-hour consult sessions to give you specific help in tapping into your RPG character. You get tailored guidance with no attempts to tell you what you “should” do, and I get to ethically keep my therapeutic interviewing skills from getting rusty while in grad school limbo. Everyone wins!)

This is getting a bit esoteric. Let’s use some concrete examples.

Some common “goals” might be: A wizard whose goal is to become more powerful or gain a certain form of knowledge, a noble-born character whose goal is to restore their family’s name or wealth, or the evergreen goal of avenging a great wrong like the death of a loved one.

These are all great character goals! There is nothing wrong with having a character with a clear goal they work toward over the course of the game, and making a character with a clear goal is a great way to get started with roleplaying! 

But it is only one method. And it’s not always appropriate.

I’m about to blow your damn mind: Characters don’t need goals. 

The idea that a well-rounded character should always have a “goal” is pervasive, and honestly harmful to good character creation and roleplaying! And it’s even more difficult to overcome because if you look for roleplaying or character-building advice, “give them a goal” is generally one of the first bullet points. This is well-meaning, and it’s not bad advice. But if it leaves you feeling like your character is incomplete because they don’t have A Goal—or worse, feeling obligated to tack on a “goal” and struggle to prioritize it in roleplay—then it’s not helpful.

Characters do not need “goals”.

But all characters need motivations.

As usual, I’m going to use my own characters as an example so you don’t feel like I’m lecturing you. I think I only have one major D&D character who could be stated to have a “goal”--my halfling druid/fighter, who wants to repay her debt to the Circle so that she can make a clean and respectful break and live her own life without guilt. 

But the others? Benny (Benevolence, but only her mom calls her that), my tiefling bard, doesn’t have a “goal” she works toward; in all honesty, her goal was her pre-campaign life. She likes being a travelling musician, she wants to perform and meet people across the continent! Rinda, my dwarven paladin, has five kids at home--her nieces and nephews, who she adopted after her sister’s tragic death in a mine collapse. She’s got no career ambition because she feels that chasing rank or prestige is inappropriate in a paladin, whose priority should be ordinary people and who needs to be accessible and grounded in the reality of the common folk. Her “goal” is to just keep being an honorable, mid-rank paladin and providing for her family.

That’s not remotely helpful in a tabletop RPG! Those are terrible “goals” for a character in a team-based game! If I followed general beginner RP advice and leaned into those goals, I’d end up that dreaded monstrosity, the player who says things like “but why would my character get involved? She would just let the town guard handle it”.

However, these characters’ motivations are a different story.

Benny doesn’t set out with the goal of becoming a hero; it’s not something she consciously works toward or considers a major aspiration. But she is responsible for what she allows, and at her core, Benevolence was well-named. She was raised by loving parents who taught her how to raise working animals and livestock ethically and with compassion, and who taught her the regret that comes of making selfish decisions. Helping others and minimizing suffering isn’t her life goal. She didn’t set out from home with a dream of being better than her parents, of putting good into the world instead of just mitigating the bad...but sometimes people really do just help others because it’s the right thing to do. 

Rinda? Her driving purpose will always be her family. Caring for them is her goal, the thing she intentionally prioritizes, the thing she actively works for. But her motivations are not the same thing. Yes, she wants to stay close to take care of her kids...but her responsibilities as a paladin are important to. She’s a protector who swore an oath, and her children are not more important than children in the next city over who will suffer without her intervention. Her motivation is to make people feel safe, but that’s not really a traditional “goal”. And she’s a stronger character for that!

So: Motivations > Goals. 

Which does NOT mean that your character shouldn’t have a concrete goal! That’s not what I’m saying at all. Rather...if your character has a concrete goal, arising naturally from their backstory, and you struggle to roleplay that goal, it may be because you’re not tapping into why your character has that goal in the first place. Are they seeking power because they’re terrified of a specific enemy? To prove a detractor or an abuser wrong? In order to accomplish a specific task--and in that case, who or what made them believe that task was important? Why is your rogue trying to avenge the death of his sister--and you can’t say “love” or “grief”. Many people have lose loved ones; what made this specific person decide that the only way forward was murder, and that his target(s) were responsible, and that he personally had to dedicate his life to killing them?

(This course of questioning may lead you to realize that you don’t have an answer. If that happens, ask yourself--is this a realization that your CHARACTER might have? That they don’t know why they’re doing this? Follow that thread! If not, it’s possible that you’ve tacked on an artificial “goal” for the sake of having one, and your character would be stronger without that anchor weighing them down.)

Sedge, that druid/fighter from earlier--her goal is to repay a massive debt so that she can be free of the Circle’s influence and live her own life. But her motivation? A mixture of shame and honor. The Circle saved her from a lot of predatory loans from bad people, rescued her, saved her life. She’s embarrassed at ending up so deep in debt and too proud to not repay that kind of kindness, but also feels a genuine gratitude for their kindness toward a total stranger. She wants to do right by them--but hates being a druid--but has always wanted to be the kind of hero who helps others exactly as selflessly as they did. 

It creates a lot of in-depth roleplay possibilities that wouldn’t exist if I’d just left that goal as simple as “acquire X amount of gold to pay off her student loans” and proceeded to play Sedge as simply money-obsessed.

Even if your character does have a clear goal, their motivations can change and come into conflict with it! A heroic character with debts to repay might easily refuse a huge payday if it requires them to do something shady...but they might not. How desperate are they? A wizard whose goal is to unlock the power to cast Wish might see a path to that goal...but pursuing it would mean abandoning a helpless village in the path of an orc army, and if she stays to defend that village, she loses her opportunity.

What wins out, in the end? And what effect will that choice have on her psyche?

Suddenly it really, really matters why she’s so dead-set on learning Wish. Whether it’s out of pride or fear (which might be easier for her to set aside in the face of innocent lives) or out of a deep-rooted belief that something absolutely essential rests on her learning this spell—something a lot harder to turn her back on.

These conflicts can occur with or without a “goal”. But, whether a character has a “goal” or not, these conflicts and intimate, pivotal character moments absolutely cannot exist in a character without motivations.

[nicoleheichou]

Now All I See Is Color - chapter 69: not fair (poly route)

♡ masterlist ♡ 《 previous | next 》

In a world where soulmates exist, it's uncommon for most people to find theirs. A lot of them going their whole lives never experiencing the world in color because they've never met their soulmate. But that all changes for y/n when she becomes MSBY Jackals player, Miya Atsumu's assistant. They're about to experience the world in color together. But what does that mean for y/n when both her and Atsumu are in committed relationships?

It's not long before you find the blonde, Suna knowing exactly where he'd be waiting. You notice the smile on his face fall when he sees you and Suna approaching, hands clasped together. "So I guess ya made yer decision, huh angel?" He sounds so heartbroken and you can't help but feel sad for him.

"And that's where you're wrong Miya." Suna says, and you can see how confused the blonde is by that statement, not really understanding the situation. Letting go of Suna's hand you make your way over to the setter, hand already outstretched, reaching for his. "Tsum, these last 2 weeks have been hard. I'm sure not just for me but for you as well and I've been wracking my brain, trying to figure out what the right decision would be, and honestly I couldn't really find one. Not one that I could decide on my own anyway." He raises a brow at you, unsure of what you're trying to say. "Tsum? Will you please listen to my selfish request?" He runs a hand through his hair, a sigh escaping his lips, but he agrees. "Let's hear it." You give his hand a soft squeeze, thankful that he was willing to hear you out.

"Just...please answer my next questions honestly, okay?" You don't miss the uneasiness that crosses his features for a split second, before he nods his head. "What do you think of Suna?" You can tell he's confused by the question with the way he's looking between you and Suna. "I really care about him. He's one of my bestfriends. I would love nothing but for him to be happy." You can't help but smile at his response, it being the almost exact same response as your boyfriend's. Turning to look at Suna, he gives you a nod, gesturing for you to ask the next question. "Tsum, baby...would you ever consider being in a relationship with Suna and myself?"

You can tell he wasn't expecting that question, the look of surprise on his face was a good indicator of that. "Like...romantically...and physically?" You take a good look at him and you can see he's still trying to process the question. "That's what we'd like, but it doesn't have to be. If you just want to be with y/n, that works too, we can both be with her and we can just stay friends." Suna interrupts, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

Atsumu looks back at you, his eyes searching yours. "Is this what ya want? Yer not trying to include me into yer relationship just because ya feel bad for me?" You shake your head, raising a hand to his cheek. "Tsum, I care about you. I want to explore these feelings for you more, but I also don't want to let go of Rin. That's why it's a selfish request. It's selfish on my part because I want to be with both of you. I talked to Rin and he's more than happy to include you. We'll do our best to get through all the challenges together." You watch as his eyes go back to your boyfriend's, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. "Yer okay with this Suna? Like 100%?" Atsumu just needed to hear some type of confirmation from the male.

"I've had a crush on you ever since third year, so yes Atsu, I'm 100% sure." Suna confesses and the blonde is speechless, you watch as the blood rushes to his face and he turns as red as a tomato. "Yer joking. I had a crush on ya since third year too." Now it's both your turns to be shocked. You glance at Suna, noticing that he has a slight blush as well, before he nods at you. "Will you do us the honor of dating us, Miya Atsumu?" You both say in unison and he chuckles at how cute you both look. "Yes! It'll be my honor to date ya both." He says with the biggest grin. You're so ecstatic that you fling yourself onto the both of them, pulling them into a hug. It causes the two males to laugh out loud, but they tighten the hug. You both plant a kiss on either cheek of the blonde and you witness a second round of his blush appearing.

"Ya can't do that to me! That's not fair!" He whines, while planting a kiss on both your cheeks. You didn't think this would go as perfect as it did but you're thankful it has. You get to be with the two most important people in your life and that's all you could ask for.

are we happy with how it turned out? lol

i loved all your reactions to the last chapter 😂 let me know what you guys think of today's too!

Taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @youidiot91 @https-sen @kyomihann @szeonn @chantalkate16 @onlyonew @ntimacy @underratedmage @90s-belladonna @simpletype @toshikamo @todomaniac @sumebreaks @sammistry @pansexualproblemchild @kozuelle @roselleviennesstuff @erensnubs @fantasycantasy @choozari @starsabove-me @halesandy @encrytpta @youraggedybitch @pablopascal @qualitygiantshoepsychic @iheartkuroorin @curiouslilbeast @cannibalcuriosity @fandomsgotmefucked @xhyunjinbbyx @grassbutneo @therealpussybangs @angelxsage @tetsuhoes @haikoochi @erinoikawa @starglow-xx @riceballsandanime @nashionalpotatocorner @fucktheworlddude @fo-love @xmyshya @bbyaj @kingggjaay @matsunshine @ashers-playpen @silver-liner @ayeputita

[tenebraevesper]

Digimon Ghost Game Analyzer, Episode 10: Game of Death

For those asking, I’m fine. It took me a while to recover, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.

So, today’s episode is all about video games. What, is it going to tell us how dangerous video games are and how they corrupt your mind?

That doesn’t appear the case from what we’ve seen in the preview. Anyways, let’s see what this is all about.

We start with a guy with a 20 win streak in some kind of fighting game, which actually reminds me a lot of Street Fighter.

Too bad Digimon aren’t in the same position as in our world, else we could’ve had a video game similar to Digimon Tamers: Battle Evolution, or for those who don’t know, Digimon Rumble Arena.

True. *tilts head* You’re only saying that because I’ve been using your character whenever I played the game, aren’t you?

*shrugs, smirking* Hey, I can’t say that I’m not honored that you chose me to beat up the opponents in the game. Just like in real life.

Right. *turns back* Moving on, this guy is then challenged by an unknown... player?

It’s a Digimon. We both know that’s no video game character, but an actual Digimon. Although, I hadn’t seen a Digimon that can enter a video game, only Appmon.

I guess there is a first time for everything. I will also spoil the surprise here and call the Digimon Kinkakumon, but I will later go into more detail about her. For now, all you have to know is that Kinkakumon beats the guy in his own game and then Ginkakumon (I’ll explain later) literally absorbs him into the computer after asking him about his name.

Admittedly, humans being absorbed into the computer isn’t anything new for Digimon, but this is a little disturbing.

Indeed, being a gamer means living on the edge. *grins*

*rolls eyes* So, what are the Tamers going to do about this?

Well, first things first, Kotaro tells Hiro about a game called Fighter’s Kingdom, where if you get a win streak, a new character cuts in to fight.

Although, looking at Kotaro’s expression, he has a different reason to see this mysterious character. *sighs*

The two run into Kiyoshiro, who tells them to stop talking about the video game, considering the topic inappropriate. *eyes Kiyoshiro* I don’t think talking about a video game should be a problem.

*smirks slyly* I think Kiyoshiro owes us an explanation, as Jellymon points out how he was totally hooked on the game.

Quitting a video game after hearing some scary rumors is such a Kiyoshiro-thing to do. *shakes head and shrugs*

Now, before I continue, I think I know what the horror theme of this episode is.

*eyes Tenebrae* You mean, video games?

Well, yeah, but I’m specifically talking here about the Urban Legend Of Zelda-type of mysteries, like the MissingNo. glitch in Pokémon Red and Blue; as well as video game Creepypasta, like Sonic.EXE. It’s that kind of mystery/horror, where rumors fly about people finding a new area or characters that ends up in someone being hurt. Some, however, are just harmless fun and some aren’t even true, but you don’t know unless you investigate it by yourself.

It seems that you’re right.

While Kotaro decides to play the game, Kiyoshiro, who is also a really good gamer, tells Hiro about another rumor he had heard.

According to Kiyoshiro, those who encounter the new character, Kinkakumon, disappear one after one. That’s why he doesn’t want to touch the game again. I guess that’s a logical decision.

Not to mention, the moment Kiyoshiro learned that Kotaro decided to play it, he immediately goes to him.

Not a moment too late, as Kotaro has been targeted by Kinkakumon and is in the process of being digitized and absorbed. Hell, this episode immediately ups the stakes by having one of Hiro’s non-Tamer friends being harmed.

However, since it’s locked and Kiyoshiro has issues remembering the key number, Kotaro is asked by Kinkakumon and Ginkakumon what his name is, meaning they don’t have much time until he’s gone. So Gammamon opens the door instead...

That’s an useful ability.

We also saw it before. Considering what Digimon are, it’s obvious they can interact with electronics in this manner. 

Anyways, just as they break inside, they find Kotaro being absorbed into the computer.

Honestly, Hiro’s expression here shows just how horrifying this experience is for him, as he has to watch helplessly his best friend vanish because of a cursed game.

Even Kiyoshiro freaks out, to the point of fainting.

‘Integer overflow’? What’s that supposed to mean?

I'm sure we'll get an explanation soon. In any case, Hiro calls Ruli so they can all investigate what had happened.

We can see that this investigation is very personal for Hiro, considering his close friend had been targeted.

He’s wants to know what exactly had happened.

Meanwhile, we have Gammamon and Jellymon messing with Kiyoshiro, who still seems to be passed out. Angoramon wonders what Gammamon what this integer overflow that Gammamon is repeating means, with Jellymon explaining that it’s when her Darling’s fear count reaches max capacity and overflows. Afterwards, something happens that Jellymon calls limit break. As she opens the Fighter’s Kingdom game, Kiyoshiro suddenly wakes up.

Hah, he can easily use it as his personal alarm clock. *smirks*

Kiyoshiro then quickly crawls under the blanket, apologizing and asking to be spared. Gammamon wonders if that’s the limit break Jellymon mentioned, but it isn’t.

Is it just me or does Jellymon look disappointed that it failed?

They then get a message from Bokomon, who invites them to the library. He gives Gammamon some chocolate, observing him. Ruli wonders why he moved to a library close to the dorm, with Bakumon explaining how Bokomon already read all of the books there.

Hiro then questions Bokomon about whether he knows what may have happened to Kotaro. Bokomon isn’t that knowledgeable about video games and Ruli’s friends/followers have no idea what’s going on, so Jellymon suggests they play the game to learn what is going on.

Unfortunately for Kiyoshiro, this means that he has to be the one who’d play it. Kiyoshiro refuses (with Jellymon calling him her cowardly darling). Bakumon then realizes that the ones behind the disappearances may be the siblings Kinkakumon and Ginkakumon. Apparently, Bakumon loves computer bugs and he ran into them when he ate computer bugs from another video game.

Basically, these siblings work as a team, where Kinkakumon defeats her opponents and Ginkakumon turns the opponents into liquor.

Ha, we actually had at least two episodes where an alcoholic beverage played a role in the episode. One was in Digimon Adventure, Episode 27: Vamdemon, the Castle of Darkness, where the Chosen Children got a Nanimon drunk in order to infiltrate Myotismon’s castle, as well as in Digimon Tamers, Episode 31: Friendship with Guardromon! "I'll fight too!", Tamer Hirokazu, where Orochimon forced a bunch of Gekomon to brew sake for him.

Angoramon mentions that he had heard the rumors, and that Ginkakumon’s gourd, the Beni-hisago sucks in everyone who answers its call, turning them into liquor. Basically, they’ll all become liquified.

In short, they’re on a time limit. Not to mention, one has to wonder how many people were already liquified by Ginkakumon before the Tamers found out about it. Since there is no way for them to find the siblings in time, they realize that there is only one thing they can do now.

Kiyoshiro is their last hope. *grins* I’m so looking forward to this.

Hiro, Gammamon, Kiyoshiro and Jellymon are back at Kiyoshiro’s room, with Kiyoshiro getting support from Hiro and Jellymon.

While Jellymon loves to mess with her Tamer, she still has his back. I really like their relationship. As for Ruli, Angoramon, Bokomon and Bakumon, they’re watching a stream of the battle. As expected from the dorm leader, Kiyoshiro manages to win battle after battle, gaining Kinkakumon and Ginkakumon’s interest. Once he completes his 20 streak win, Kinkakumon appears, ready to challenge him.

To make things interesting, Jellymon herself enters the game, deciding to battle Kinkakumon with Kiyoshiro’s aid.

Now, I’m excited to see how this battle is going to turn out! Also, Ginkakumon appears behind Kinkakumon, taking control over her.

I think we can now confirm that Digimon Tamers: Battle Evolution (also known as Digimon Rumble Arena) is canon as a video game in the Digimon anime. *grins*

Jellymon and Kinkakumon start trading blows and even though this is just a fighting game, Kinkakumon would have even in an actual Digimon battle the upper hand. After all, not only is Kinkakumon a Champion (in comparison to Jellymon being a Rookie), but she’s also a Virus, which has advantage over a Data Digimon like Jellymon.

Still, it is not over until it’s over. Kiyoshiro strikes back, having used the first part of the battle to observe Kinkakumon’s moves and Jellymon manages to push back. However, Ginkakumon is prepared, expanding his controller (isn’t that cheating!?) and having Kinkakumon strike Jellymon with her kanabou. Ginkakumon then really goes into overdrive with the command inputs (wouldn’t be surprised if he entered the Konami Code at some point).

Jellymon and Kiyoshiro fight back furiously, but it’s not enough.

They look to me like they’re evenly matched.

Okay, maybe not, but Kinkakumon does vocalize what I have in mind whenever I’m fighting a strong opponent. Kinkakumon then attempts to grab Kiyoshiro, but he activates the AR Field, causing Kinkakumon to destroy his room. Ginkakumon also emerges and the battle continues, much to Kiyoshiro’s dismay.

Dude, this is not the time to short-circuit!

The siblings are disappointed by Kiyoshiro fainting, but Jellymon stands up to them, leaving Hiro and Gammamon/BetelGammamon (who does have a better chance due to being a Champion, as well a Vaccine to counter Ginkakumon’s Virus Attribute) to save the people trapped in Ginkakumon’s gourd (with Ruli and Angoramon flying to join them). Unfortunately for Jellymon, she is no match for Kinkakumon.

Jellymon attempts to wake Kiyoshiro up, even tearing up when he doesn’t answer.

There is a lot more to Jellymon than she wants to show, isn’t it? She’s quite desperate here, aware that she won’t be able to win without Kiyoshiro’s aid, and even threatens him by telling him how she’ll throw his stuff away or tell everyone about the secret of his wrapped hand as Kinkakumon slowly approaches them.

Finally, leaving the threats aside, she acknowledges that the reason why they managed to match Kinkakumon wasn’t because of their video game skills, but because they were a team. That’s the kind of message Digimon promotes and I love it!

Not to mention, in these kinds of situation, it is the Tamer who acknowledges that their strength comes from supporting their Digimon partner, so it is interesting to see Jellymon being the one who delivers this kind of speech.

But, just as she reaches out for Kiyoshiro, Kinkakumon steps on her tentacle. Man, that has to hurt, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Jellymon was trying to reach out for her partner and Kinkakumon just stopped her, deciding to deliver the final strike.

Fortunately, Jellymon isn’t the type to give up so easily and she manages to literally shock Kiyoshiro awake. As for Kiyoshiro...

*shudders* Honestly, as much as Digimon Ghost Game likes to make fun of him, whenever Kiyoshiro decides to get serious, he is a man on a mission. I really admire him for that.

Even Jellymon agrees. No wonder she had chosen him for her partner. This time, they are going unlock their true Max Level Limit Break!

This columinates in a new Digivolution, introducing us to TeslaJellymon.

May I add that they look really badass here. (✧ω✧)

TeslaJellymon easily avoids Kinkakumon’s attacks and taunts her back, and I’m laughing over here at her remarks.

I think that you’d be more like TeslaJellymon in this battle. You have a passion for fighting, but you’re not afraid to mock your opponents.

You should only have this kind of confidence if you know that you’re going to win, just like TeslaJellymon shows us.

Kinkakumon didn’t even have a chance against the team of Kiyoshiro and TeslaJellymon.

After defeating Kinkakumon, Ginkakumon is forced to release all the defeated players (but not without a complaint - dude, seriously! You’ve been using humans as your booze source!). Fortunately, everyone is fine, but you can see their clothing being damaged to an extent, showing that they had been in danger.

*laughs alongside Tenebrae* Of course, in order to prevent Ginkakumon from causing trouble, Hiro promises to give him his father’s stash of booze. What show are we watching?!

Ginkakumon is fired up, but Kinkakumon refuses, noting she was only interested in the battles. *deadpan* Wow, what a supportive sibling.

Jellymon is cool with being challenged again, but Kiyoshiro is not. Baby steps, Kiyoshiro, baby steps. We then get another speech from Angoramon (with Ruli wondering what he’s talking about) and the episode ends.

For the episode’s highs, the best part was Kiyoshiro’s and Jellymon’s bond, but the battle was meh. If you ask me, it could’ve been a bit longer, especially the fight between Kinkakumon and TeslaJellymon.

I agree. It lacked a bit in animation, but seeing Kiyoshiro getting serious, having Jellymon Digivolve and even seeing Digimon in a fighting video game was pretty awesome.

*turns to the audience* So, what do you guys think? See ya next time!

[jane-shepard]

hiii what are your thoughts on ashley? cause i feel like you’re the kind of person who has correct mass effect opinions 👀

first off, thank you for the ask! i love sharing my mass effect opinions, even if some of them might get me pelted with tomatoes

i've been thinking about ash a lot lately. i just finished me1, so forgive me if my memory of the later games isn't fresh.

i was going to put this under a cut, but i don't think anyone will read it if i do. ashley meta gets glossed over all the time, but this is MY blog and you're going to listen to me talk ashley fucking williams!!!

too long; not gonna read: i enjoy ashley, especially as a companion to femshep. like miranda, i think she's unfairly hated. honestly, i think she's more compelling than kaidan, but most people condemn her before they see her true potential.

originally, i sacrificed ashley on virmire. i was 17 and had my doubts about alien fucking, so i went for kaidan. (i regretted this immediately.)

i'll admit that i DIDN'T like her initially. she seemed like the Strong human female love interest, just there to contrast liara's sexy, demure blue coochie. her personality is strong, she's religious, and she's a born-and-bred soldier.

like many other humans on board, she's suspicious of the aliens. this seems to be the last straw for a lot of people. i understand why -- wrex and tali and garrus are some of the most beloved companions -- but what i admire about ashley is that she's honest and willing to change.

ashley comes from a strong family, with strong beliefs and a strong reputation. but she's not hateful, she's just ignorant. she says some really shady shit in me1, but i think that's the point of her character.

she's stagnant. she's had no room to grow. she's stuck at the bottom of the totem pole because of her grandfather's actions during the first contact war. ashley is someone who has lived in the same, shallow pool her entire life, and then shepard drops her into the ocean.

but ashley isn't doomed to stay this way forever -- quite the opposite! she's open minded and compassionate, and those are her greatest strengths.

i think this is best portrayed in how she discusses her beliefs with shepard. if you accept her religion, she thanks you for being open minded. and ashley is no hypocrite! when you tell her that the aliens aboard the normandy are her crewmates, she takes it in stride.

and then most people kill her.

i get it. she's a strong personality, and kaidan is more appealing to many people -- especially female players.

but ashley is a fine fucking wine; she just gets better!!

after the events of ME1, she sees so much more of the galaxy. she's finally allowed to swim, and she realizes that sentient life is the same in many ways. she's given awards by the salarian and turian governments -- the first human to receive those honors.

but that's not all there is to ashley. people tend to focus on her MILD xenophobia because as players, we know the aliens are going to be our friends (and lovers). whether you defend her or hate her, that's usually the first topic that comes up.

but i'd actually like to touch on her relationship with (fem)shep, because it's compelling to me. shepard has no siblings, but i interpret she and ash's relationship as a sisterhood. they're both female marines, and i like to think they're close in me1. (i smile every time i hear shep's fond little "dismissed, chief.")

this makes horizon harder for me. if you romanced ashley or kaidan, horizon feels like a bitter betrayal by a lover. but... thinking of ashley as my little sister made this conflict so much more meaningful to me.

shepard saved ashley in more ways than one. she saved her from the geth, she saved her from a monotonous career, she saved her from a life of ignorance. shepard took ashley's hand and helped her up. she saw how the alliance squandered ashley's potential, and said "i'll give you a chance to do better."

ashley doesn't like herself in me1. she's so excited to talk to shepard, tell her stories, and prove herself, but there's so many moments where she backtracks, waves her hands, and apologizes for expressing herself.

she's upset when kaidan dies on virmire, because she believes it should have been her.

i think ashley thought that noble sacrifice was the only way to redeem her family's reputation. she wanted to die on virmire, because that's a fitting end for a soldier like her: she's overlooked her entire life, but she proves herself in the last minute and becomes a hero.

but shepard forces her to live. shepard forces her to examine her view of the world and become a better person. and then shepard dies, and ash has to find her way alone.

i'm proud of the person ashley becomes in the later games, and i think shepard is too.

i hope more people use Mass Effect Legendary as a chance to make different decisions and save ashley... because just like the alliance, we overlook ashley's potential every time we leave her on virmire to die.

[puckyess]

You won’t regret it | Pat Moynihan

Words: 8k

“Ten” your friend, Kat says with a smirk on her face.

You vaguely register that her remark is directed at you. “What?”

“That’s the tenth time you’ve locked eyes with Moyni” she says, now nodding over to where he was still watching your group, more specifically, you.

There was a smile on his face and he was still talking to the couple of guys around him, but his eyes never left you. Every time you glanced in his direction that night they had always been on you. But neither of you made a move toward each other. You just continued to share curious looks from opposite ends of the room.

“That is so not true”, you say lamely, turning your attention back to your friend.

Of course she calls you out, claiming that the first time was when you guys had first walked in the door, the second when you were in the kitchen with Mike, then out on the balcony, when Tyce came up and hugged you. She trailed off but she had made her point clear.

You roll your eyes, “Fine, I'll go say hi, but that's it” you tell her. The grin on her face was enough to say she was appeased by your answer, even if it was reluctant.

Taking in a steadying breath and an equally big gulp of your drink, you turn around only to find the boy you were looking for no longer there. A frown settled in your features, a tap on the shoulder has you spinning the other way.

“Hi, I’m Pat” he says, holding his hand out to you.

You look down at his hand with an eyebrow quarked and a hint of a smirk plays at the corner of your mouth. But you extend your own hand nonetheless and it earns a bright smile from him. His hand is warm and as cliche as it sounds, your hand fits perfectly in his. He shakes it up and down and the whole scene makes you giggle.

“You’re laughing at me, what’s so funny” he asks, still not letting go of your hand.

His smile lets you know he’s just teasing and you already feel so comfortable with him. “I’ve just never shaken someone’s hand in the middle of a party” you say motioning to where your hands are still connected.

It’s hard to tell with the glow of the multicolored lights but you swear you see him blush as he releases your hand with a little squeeze. He plays it well, “Well now you have, I’m honored to be your first” he says. and now it’s your turn to blush.

Normally this is where you’d go to look away but something about the way he says it, with a hint of insinuation, a challenge to see if you’ll comment that has you maintaining eye contact as you take a sip of your drink. Who was this guy and how did he manage to have your stomach in knots and make you feel at ease all at the same time?

He asks for your name then and it takes you a second to realize that you haven’t known this man for more than 10 minutes because it feels like you’re already good friends.

“Y/N” you tell him, extending your hand to him with a smirk. He picks up on you mirroring his action from moments ago and tips his head back in an easy laugh that you join him in. You wouldn’t mind hearing that sound more often.

Just as your hands connect once again, one of his teammates barrels over and throws an arm around his shoulders. “Moyni! There you are! We’ve been looking for you” he calls over the noise of the room and based on the eye roll from Pat and the shit eating grin on his buddy’s face, you would guess that his friends knew exactly where he was.

“I’ve been gone for what, all of 5 minutes? Can you guys not handle being alone that long?”

The boy holds his arms up in defense, “Hey don't shoot the messenger, Tyce sent me. You guys are up next”. Pat glances back to where his teammate is waiting at the pong table with a smirk and gives you an apologetic smile.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. I’ll see you around” he calls as he’s pulled away. The wink he shoots you over his shoulder replays in your mind as you lay in bed that night.

--

The next few days pass by pretty uneventful, until Wednesday that is. You’re eating dinner with your roommate, Kat when your phone lights up on the table. You have this thing with your friends where if you’re out to dinner, phone’s stay in the middle of the table so that you can all enjoy the present with each other.

You ignore it, listening to Kat tell you about the plans for that weekend. When it lights up again, you give it a look but your will power holds steady and you continue to listen to your friend. When it lights up a third time though Kat pauses and gives you a look. “Who is that?”

Her guess is as good as yours though. The person who normally would be blowing up your phone is sitting across from you. “I don't know” you say honestly.

She rolls her eyes, making a move for your phone and her face lights up when she reads through the notifications. She hums, “It seems a certain Mr. Moynihan has taken an interest in you”

At the sound of his name your hand shoots out to snatch the phone from her, quickly scanning the screen.

3m ago Twitter: @pmoynihan19 has followed you

2m ago Instagram: @patrickmoynihan_ has requested to follow you

2m ago Instagram: @patrickmoynihan_ wants to send you a message

“The boy works fast” your friend chirps, a smug smile on her face.

You somehow manage to hear her over the sound of your heart beating in your ears. “It’s been four days, I'd hardly call that fast” you say as you swipe up to unlock your phone.

“What’re you doing?” Kat asks, narrowing her eyes.

The alarm in her voice makes your thumb hover over the twitter app. “I’m following him back?”

She grabs your phone again and you know it’s no use to try and get it back so you sit back in your seat with your arms crossed, waiting for her explanation.

“You can't follow him back right away, are you crazy?”

You raise an eyebrow at her, “and why not? You said it yourself, he’s clearly interested. And if I remember correctly, you were the one who was excited for me 30 seconds ago”.

“Well that was before I knew this was the first time he was making contact with you since the party! You said it yourself, four days is hardly fast. Make him wait a day or two before you follow him back” she says, throwing your words back at you.

You think about what she said and while you hated to play games, you did have to say she had a pretty good track record with these kinds of things. Or at least more experience in this area than you did.

“You know I'm right,” she quips, knowing you’re mulling over her words.

“Fine,” you say finally, “I'll wait one day. But that’s it”.

“You’ll thank me later” she smirks over her wine glass.

--

“You don't even like Chipotle” you muttered to yourself as you pulled into their parking lot. You were one of the few people who was not a Chipotle fiend but for some reason you had been craving it all day long. And after the day you had been having you made the logical decision to not cook tonight.

Unfortunately, your boss had kept you a little longer after work and you hadn’t been able to beat the dinner rush like you had hoped you would. You let out a sigh, taking your place in line alongside the slew of college kids looking for their fix. With the line moving unbelievably slow, you pull out your phone and answer a few texts and then aimlessly catch up on social media.

“Burrito or Bowl?” the worker asks you and you tuck your phone away, reciting your order.

When it comes time to pay you go to hand him your card but he shakes his head, “You’re all set” he says, sliding your bowl across the counter. “Moyni already paid for you”.

You look down at the shiny silver lid and there’s a simple message scrawled on the lid “hi Y/N  :) - Pat”.

Your card is still in the air and your jaw is practically on the floor. “How…”

“He’s over there,” he says motioning over to a table. Your eyes follow and soon you’re walking over toward a table full of hockey players.

When he spots you his face lights up and he removes himself from the group. “I shouldn’t have bought your Chipotle” he tells you and your smile falls. Was this some kind of joke?

“What?”

“I'm mad at you ya know” he continues, but he wears a smile that says otherwise.

He gives you a little nudge with his arm, hands in his pockets. “I followed your socials, why didn’t you follow me back? Did you see my message too?” he asks, completely calling you out.

You can hear some of the guys snickering and you can't tell if it’s for your benefit or his, but it makes you extremely aware of your current situation. Curse your friend for getting you into this, if you had just followed him back last night this wouldn't be happening.

Lie and deny chants the little devil sitting on your shoulder. “I haven't been on social media lately” you offer lamely.

“That’s a lie, you were just on instagram” he states, his smile growing wider. He was clearly enjoying watching you squirm.

Your face starts to flush, getting caught in your own lie. “How do you know?”

He reaches up and taps the side of his glasses with his finger, which you have to say make him look even more attractive if that was possible.

You tip your head back and groan. You were still wearing your bluelight glasses from work. You wore them so often these days that you forgot you were wearing them at all. “You can see the reflection huh?”

His smile is softer now as he nods. “I could see you scrolling from a mile away and still not following me back” he tsks.

“I was advised not to,” you tell him honestly, throwing your friend under the bus.

“By who? It was Kat wasn't it? I'm going to have to have a word with her'' he teases.

“You and me both” you mumble.

He laughs and you’re relieved that he’s not mad or annoyed at your foolishness.

“I was hoping the Chipotle might persuade you,” he jokes.

“Thank you for this” you say, motioning to the bowl in your hand, “I really needed this today”.

A hint of color dusts his cheeks and then they lift into yet another warm smile as he says, “of course. I’ll let you go eat it while it’s still warm”.

You send one last thank you his way and then reluctantly walk away.

“Remember to follow me back, Y/N! You won't regret it!” he calls after you as you walk out the door.

Your friend was going to hear it for this one.

--

Pat’s words echo in your ears as you get ready for bed that night. “You wont’ regret it”. A cute, friendly, easy going hockey player; he had “regret” written all over him. But there was also something else there, something that made you feel excited and comfortable to be yourself. And that’s what had you throwing caution to the wind when you hit the follow button on twitter and then again on instagram.

You chewed on your lip as you opened his DM and chuckled at his message. It was simple, yet effective.

Hi, I’m Pat

🤝

You type out an equally short response.

Y/N

🤝

The bubbles pop up immediately.

It took you long enough

You shook your head as you read it, the boy was honest you had to give him that. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t throw a little sarcasm in there, chirping his incredibly fast response was a good start.

I could say the same to you

The bubbles pop up again and then disappear and you hope that he catches your sarcasm and doesn't just think you’re being rude.

I could reply slower if that’s really what you want…

You hate that you can hear him saying it, were you really falling this fast?

Not at all.

Yes, yes you were.

--

You lean against the counter with your mug, letting the warm steam fan your face. “Alright, why are you looking at me like that?” you ask Kat finally.

“Well I was going to say someone’s in an awfully good mood today, but I take it back. You do realize today is Friday right?”

You ignore her comment, but answer her question. “I do, I called off today”.

“And why is that?” she asks. She gets a weird smile on her face like she knows something you don’t and you don’t like it.

You narrow your eyes on her suspiciously. “What’s going on? Do you have something you need to tell me?”

She jumps off the couch, excited all of a sudden. “Do YOU have something you need to tell ME?”

“What? No! Seriously what’s up?”

She practically explodes then. “Were you with Moyni last night?”

You flush at the mere thought of that. No you weren’t with him in the sense that she meant, but had you spent the wee hours of the night talking to him? Maybe.

She catches it and screeches. “I knew it! I told Tyce this morning and he didn’t believe me-”

You cut her off in the middle of her excited rant, “Wait, you what?”

She takes a breath then and backtracks, still pacing around the apartment. “I was facetiming Tyce this morning and Moyni walked in all smiley asking for something and T chirped him asking how he was in such a good mood when he was up so late last night and asked who he was talking to. And boy did he blush like you just did”, she was down right gleeful telling the story.

“Anyway, Moyni tried to deny it, but Tyce was like ‘no dude I could hear you talking through the wall so who was it’. And he wouldn't say. And that’s when I was like wait, I didn’t hear you leave for work today and you never miss so you had to have had a long night and so I told Tyce I bet she was over there last night and now you’re all bright eyed and bushy tailed, like glowing actually and that only comes from one thing…”

By the time she finished her storytelling you were feeding off her energy. “Ok that is so NOT what happened” you laugh at the disappointed look on her face, “But. He DID ask me to come to his game tonight”. You try to act casual but the minute she lets out a squeal, you do too. You can’t believe you had become one of those girls, but you were just so damn happy.

“What?! When?! How?! Ok, rewind, spill!” She finally settles herself on the couch, somewhat patiently waiting for you to dish out the details of last night.

--

Between the lack of sleep and the adrenaline coursing through your veins all night, your nerves were shot. Pat and Tyce had managed to get yours and Kat’s seats not only next to each other, but with the best of views of both the ice and them. Watching warmups was fun, seeing the guys interact and show off a bit for your own personal entertainment.

The game delivered too. The goofiness, relaxed form the guys had taken during warmups was gone as their competitive sides came out and they battled for the win. Having someone to cheer for on the ice and your best friend by your side made it that much better. You even caught Pat glance up into your section once or twice and you could see that smile even through his cage.

In all it was the perfect night but this side, well you’ve never done this side of it before. You’ve never been on the side that waits for a player after the game. You’ve never been part of that group.

You stood next to Kat as she easily mingled with some of the girls and players that had formed a group near you. You only really knew Tyce and Parker and neither of them were part of the circle.

Groups had never really been your thing, you were more of a listener than someone who could handle the spotlight. You were often talked over or couldn’t really get your words out the way you wanted to so you kept quiet. In your usual friend group it was fine, you still felt part of the group, but tonight not so much.

Everyone around you seemed to know each other and had no problem interacting. You watch as the conversation bounces from person to person until you almost zone out.

That all changes when Pat makes his way into the group. He seems to be looking for someone, maybe even you but your small frame is hidden behind the wall of guys. You catch the warm smile he throws at you across the group of people engaged in conversation and asks if you saw his goal, a moment that you did in fact see and you respond without hesitation.

It’s like he flips a switch in you. You’re no longer uncomfortable on the outskirts with his attention on you. It’s as if there’s not a whole conversation going on around you with the way he talks to you, singling you out in the best way.

He nods his head to the side, motioning for you to follow him. “This is better, it’s quieter and you looked like you could use a break” he jokes once you’ve moved away from the noise of the group.

You grimace at whatever must’ve given you away. “I looked that bad huh?” you tease him.

He doesn't comment, just shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong, I love being around everyone and the energy is great but I also know that sometimes after a whole night of being wound up it can be nice to step away for a bit”

His response surprises you, you weren’t expecting something so honest and sentimental. “Thank you for that. It was a pretty crazy night. Fun, but crazy!”

At that he grins. “The boys were pretty chippy tonight yeah? There’s a little extra bite there when we play BC”.

“I could tell, you were really running your mouth out there”

He laughs, “I was doing no such thing”

“So all that pushing and shoving happened for no reason? You were such an instigator, not saying it’s a bad thing but you should own up”

“Yeah Moyni, own up” Tyce says siddling up next to him.

Pat just shakes his head. “Butt out Tycer you don't even know what we’re talking about”.

“Well of course I don't, how could I when you two wandered off to have your own little conversation” he points out with a smirk.

Pat catches you rolling your eyes at him and starts to laugh. “Relax, Y/N here was just telling me what a loud mouth I have and now she knows I get it from my roommate” he says, throwing an arm around you and pulling you into him, “Isn’t that right Y/N?”

You were very aware of the weight of his arm on your shoulders as well as the heat of his still warm body with yours turned into him. It didn't help the warmth that was spreading across your face nor did the sly smiles from both of your roommates.

“Those weren't my exact words, Pat” you said poking his side.

The movement of him reacting to your little jab has him pulling you further into him to where you have to put a hand on his chest to keep from completely falling into him. You can feel his heart beating surprisingly fast and you look up at him.

He gives you a soft smile and the whole moment is ruined by Tyce making gagging sounds and Kat hitting him. “Ow! What was that for?” he asks obliviously.

She rolls her eyes. “You are such an ass sometimes, Tyce. Let the kids have their moment, come on”. She turns to you and Pat, “You’ll have to excuse my child of a boyfriend” she says glaring at Tyce and pulling him away from you two.

Pat laughs it off, “Well then… What do you say to doing this all over tomorrow for game 2?”

“Hmmm. I think I can swing that”

“You won’t regret it,” he says, giving you a squeeze.

--

Somehow Pat managed to weasel his way into different parts of your life. What started as showing up to his games turned into hanging out after, going out to party on Saturday turned into nights in, homework sessions turned into brunch dates. You hung out whenever your schedules allowed but less that, there was no contact in between. It left you feeling confused until you were with him again and then you forgot all about it.

“Are you home yet?”

“No, Pat, for the tenth time; I’m on my way home from the gym. You’re a country away from me right now, why do you care when I’m home? Aren’t you supposed to be playing hockey or something?” you tease him, wedging the phone between your shoulder and the side of your face.

“I thought you went to the gym right after work on Wednesdays? It’s like 7 o'clock there now isn't it?” he asks confused.

You chuckle into the phone as you get out of the car and grab your bag. “Should I be worried you know my schedule?”

“You always make me wait after practice to get food with you after your workout on Wednesdays, thank you very much. That’s how I know your schedule. You’re also just a very predictable human” he chirps you right back.

“Stop rolling your eyes at me” he says almost as if on cue.

“Like I said, a country away and you’re still a pain in my ass, Pat” and just like he could see you rolling your eyes at him, he can see your smile too.

“I actually do have to go to practice, there’s something waiting for you when you get home!” he rushes and then hangs up without even giving you the chance to say goodbye.

You sigh as you unlock your door. You really did miss him and you really needed to get a grip. He had been gone less than a week and you were already moping...moping over someone who wasn’t even yours to mope over.

“You want to tell me how you manage to have someone so wrapped around your finger from thousands of miles away?” Kat’s voice makes you jump as she walks into the kitchen with you.

“What?” you ask her confused.

There’s a grin on her face as she nods to the island where there’s a Chick-fil-a bag and a card waiting for you.

“Ohmygod, he didn’t”

“Ohhh, but he did! Now open it, you’re lucky I haven’t read it already”. She’s almost more excited than you are.

You were trying to not get worked up over what the little note could possibly say, but it was hard not to when he had clearly been excited about it all day- and made a point to ask you about it multiple times that day.

“Hi, Y/N, you’re halfway there! Have some nugs for me and remember...treat yo self! I’ll see you soon. - Yours, Pat”

You’re smiling like an idiot as you read the words, his words over and over.

“What does it say? You know what, just give it to me” she says, snatching the small piece of paper from you.

“Awhhhh what does it mean? Halfway to what?”

You couldn’t get rid of the grin on your face if you tried. “Halfway through the week. Pat and I always get dinner after his practice and my workout on Wednesdays to celebrate.”

“Well shit, where’s my Moyni? I’m going to have to train Tyce better. What about the ‘treat yo self’? Is that an inside joke too?”

You shake your head remembering the first time it came up. “He asked me where I wanted to go and for once I was actually able to make a decision and I chose Chic-fil-a because I was craving it. He gave me a hard time about choosing fried chicken right after I had worked out and I waved a nugget in his face before popping it in my mouth and saying I earned it and was going to treat myself. It’s dumb…” you trail off.

“It’s not dumb if it makes you smile like that. I’m just mad he didn’t send any for me”.

“How did he get it here if you didn’t pick it up?”

“He sent Tyce over with the bag and card before you got here” she answers.

“It sounds like it’s Tyce you should be mad at” you point out.

She agrees and runs off to her room to reprimand him.

You sit down with your bag and note and take a selfie to send him.  I’m one happy girl. The only thing missing is you.

After you send it, you wonder if maybe it’s too much and then you remember that he arranged for his teammate to deliver you chicken nuggets and a handwritten note simply because it was your Wednesday tradition and you feel like it was just right.

--

Pat’s giddy mood carries into practice and overflows once he gets back to the locker room and checks his phone for any indication that you had gotten his surprise. He had told Tyce to drop it off and was going to kill him if he didn’t follow through.

When your smiling face holding up both the red and white bag and the little note fills his screen, he can’t help but match your grin.

I’m one happy girl. The only thing missing is you.

- The nuggets are my replacement! At least they can’t chirp you for ruining your workout (;

Haha I would take a few chirps to have you sitting across from me.

- We both know you wouldn’t be able to handle that 😅

Ummm false. But thank you! Tyce is a good messenger

- You didn’t think just because I was in a different country I’d forget about our Wednesday tradition, now did you?

Never.

“What’s got you smiling at your phone like that, Moyni? Could it be your….girlfriend?” Trevor shouts extra loud, making sure the locker room hears him, earning some chuckles and shouts from the guys.

Pat doesn’t embarrass easily, he just rolls his eyes at his teammate. “Don’t have a girlfriend, Z”

The couple guys around him laugh at his denial and Trevor steps in front of him, stomping his foot with his hands on his hips. “Give me the phone, Moyni”

Pat stops untying his skates and looks up to see a very sassy Trevor Zegras waiting on his demand. “Hand it over, Mister Moynihan”.

Pat shakes his head, but hands over his phone. He knew Trevor was immature enough to not let up and honestly he wasn’t ashamed of anything that was said.

Surprisingly he doesn’t broadcast the messages to the locker room like Pat was sure he would. Instead, it was a lot of mumbling as he read through what had his buddy all keyed up.

“Mhmm”

“Yup”

“I see”

Finally he handed the phone back to Pat and clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, buddy. I’m afraid you are one sick puppy”.

Trevor was known for saying things that just didn’t make sense and this definitely made the list. “Dude what? That’s what you got from my messages? Were you looking at the right thing?”

“Yup. One love sick puppy” is all he quips before walking away

--

You had been on pins and needles all day and you knew exactly why- the World Juniors final roster was supposed to be announced anytime now.

You knew in your heart that Pat would make the team but it would make you both feel a helluva lot better if you could see it in writing, this year especially. Not only had he not made it last year but you swore every other day you saw someone was getting sent home because of the virus. It didn’t make dealing with the waiting process any easier.

In the few texts and facetimes Pat had been able to squeeze in since camp started, you both carried positive energy but you could tell he was holding back. He would light up when he talked about the guys and odd little activities they were required to participate in like superlative voting and bob ross painting nights. You knew he was having a blast being back with his old buddies, especially after all of the quarantine and protocols they had to go through.

There was something else there though whenever you brought up how he was doing personally. Pat was a positive guy, the glue guy of the locker room. He liked to keep things lighthearted and loved to make everyone around him smile. So when his own smile doesn't quite reach his eyes you know something is up.

“You’re holding out on me, Pat. What’s up?”

“Nothing’s up, I just missed you”.

“I know what you’re trying to do here, but telling me you miss me is not going to distract me from the fact that you keep dancing around my question,” you try to give him a little grin but the way he’s acting makes you worry.

“Do you know when the roster comes out?”

He lets out a sigh and rolls over from his back to his stomach, hugging the pillow and propping the camera up again. His hair is adorably messed up and his glasses make him look incredibly soft and boyfriend like. You almost forget you even asked him anything as you memorize him through the screen until his voice cracks through the silence.

“I don’t know if I want to know when it comes out” he admits.

His answer confuses you. “Why would you not want to know?”

“Because then this all could come to an end and I don't want it to end”.

Your eyebrows furrow and you frown at him. “What do you mean, Pat? All of what and why is it ending?”

“This”, he says motioning with his arm, as if that’s supposed to help you. “Camp, the guys, this team. I don’t want it to be over”.

Your expression softens when you finally realize what he was talking about and it breaks your heart.

“Pat”.

“What if I don’t make it again this year, Y/N?” he asks quietly, almost as if he’s afraid if he says it too loud it might come true.

“Come on, Pat, you know that’s not going to happen. You’re going to make the team.” You don’t know how you can convince him to not doubt himself because if you were being honest, you had thought he was a lock to make it last year, before you even knew him, and he had been cut.

As if hearing your thoughts he says, “yeah, but I thought I would make it last year too and that backfired and there’s even better players here this year”

“Where is the confident guy that stuck his hand out in the middle of a party to introduce himself? The guy that has a smile or a smirk on his face 100% of the time? I miss him. You’re allowed to have doubts and worries, but not on this. I won’t have it. You are going to make this team Patrick Moynihan, I believe in you bub”.

He’s silent for a moment too long and you think maybe you stepped over a line somewhere, but then that smile that you love so much makes an appearance.

“Wow, you’re going soft on me, Y/N”

You roll your eyes, but your grin matches his, “As much as I said I wanted to see that smirk of yours…”

At that he lets out a chuckle and your Pat is back. “Really though, thank you. You make a pretty good glue guy with that pep talk.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Now get to bed, Mister. You’ve got a big day tomorrow”.

Apparently your speech had worked because he says, “Call me tomorrow, you wont regret it”

-

Exactly 12 hours later you’re impatiently doing just that. “Come on, Pat, answer your damn phone”.

“Did you need something?” and even almost 3,000 miles away you can see the way the right side of his pulls up into a smirk that drives you crazy.

“Do you have something to tell me?” you drawl out, despite the burst of energy you had.

He hums in response. “Nope. Can’t think of anything”.

“Pat you made the team!” you practically scream into the phone, too excited to play his games. You chant it as you jump around your room, probably pissing off your downstairs neighbors to no end but you didn’t even care.

He laughs at how excited you are and you can hear how much lighter it sounds from last night.

It’s like he reads your mind because he says, “you’re going to royally piss off your neighbors if you keep jumping around like that”

“I don’t care, you made the damn team, Pat! I’m so happy for you, so proud of you. I hate that I can’t actually be there with you”. And it was true. You hadn’t noticed how strong your...whatever it was with Pat had grown, how close you two had become until he was gone. You hadn't even been apart from him for 2 weeks yet and yet you’re pretty sure you missed him the second you sent him off on his way to Michigan. And now that he made the team, you wouldn't see him for at least another month.

“I know, I wish you were here with me too. You’d love it here.”

You’re surprised at his admission, you had expected him to chirp you for being soft again but his comment was anything but and you have to pull yourself together because you absolutely cannot let him see you tear up or he would definitely deliver on that chirp.

“Well as much as I want to see you, I better not see you until next year”

He scrunches up his nose at that. “It sounds so long when you say it like that”. It almost sounds like he’s whining and for once you actually love the sound of it.

“You better bring me a souvenir too. I like gold in case you were wondering”.

“I’m sure you do”

“I can always ask Zegras” you tease.

“You’re lucky you’re a country away from me, Y/N” he threatens and you swear his voice is three levels deeper but you try to not let him see the way it’s affecting you.

“And what is it exactly that you’d do, Pat”

“You’ll see. You might want to take it back though, you’ll regret it if you don’t”. His words are a contrast to the ones he left you with last night, a promise and a threat all rolled into one.

-

Missing Pat made the anticipation for World Juniors that much better. The content that USA was pushing was something you looked forward to seeing everyday. You loved getting a glimpse into the guys Pat had history with and could see why he had formed such a bond with them.

The newest little piece of the team media was an interview from Landon Slaggert. With him being Pat’s roommate for the duration of their tournament, you had gotten to know him pretty well. He would usually pop into Pat’s facetimes and give him a hard time for a few minutes before giving him the room.

The interview was pretty standard, asking a little bit about his draft experience, the hurdles of the college season, college in general, but then it turned interesting.

“So what’s one thing you learned about your roommate, Patrick Moynihan, that you didn't know before having spent so much time with him in this setting?”

Slaggert gets a big grin on his face and now your interest is piqued.

“Well I knew him pretty well before since we were teammates in the NTDP program, uh but I probably figured out that he’s more of a girlfriend guy than he is a single guy. He likes having a girlfriend, so that’s one thing I learned about him”.

To say you were not expecting to hear that response was an understatement. Your jaw fell on the floor and your heart followed. Girlfriend guy? Who the hell was his girlfriend. You didn’t know whether to feel pissed or sad, but settled on hurt.

You shook your head at yourself and willed the tears welling in your eyes to go away. You should’ve known that after months of being with him and never actually being with him that he was never yours. This information shouldn’t even affect you, much less hurt you and yet it did.

The worst part was he hadn’t even told you about her. You thought you would at least give yourself credit as being an important person in his life, someone that you at least had shared almost everything with. And he hadn’t bothered to share this huge part of him with you. The more you thought about it, the more worked up you got.

It’s like he could sense he was in trouble because your phone lights up with his face. You’re in no state to talk to him, so you hit ignore. He was persistent you had to give him that as he gave it five more tries followed by a slew of text messages that ranged from “why are you ignoring me” to ok “im getting pissed”.

Hah. He was getting pissed, what did he have to be upset about. He finally gives it a rest even though part of you wishes he hadn't.

The words “you won't regret it” taunted you. You knew better and played with fire anyway.

--

“Damnit Pat'' you curse him as he stumbles and loses the puck. It seemed that every time the puck was anywhere near his stick tonight he’d turn it over. He wasn’t himself out there. He was trying to overcompensate in all the wrong places and it was noticeable.

With no fans in the stands you could hear him getting an earful when he hopped back over the boards. “Next shift Pat, next shift” you mumbled like he could hear you.

The period couldn’t end soon enough after back to back unanswered goals from Germany. You watched as the boys made a beeline for the locker room, one in particular making your heart squeeze as he hung his head.

As mixed up as you were about your emotions for him, he was still one of your closest friends and you knew he was blaming himself for the mistakes that had led to chances and goals. He was normally the guy to lift everyone up and keep them focused on the prize. You knew better than anyone how his energy affected a room. It was hard to see him like this, you only hoped he would find it in himself to get through the last period.

With your heart in your throat, you willed the third period to be better for him. It could have been worse but it still wasn't pretty. He was only in the box once but he didn't see the ice too much after that. You didn’t really blame the coach on that one with Pat playing more as a liability tonight than someone who could help them win the game. Regardless, you saw the way his shoulders slumped on the bench despite doing his best to congratulate his teammates.

Luckily USA ended up pulling out the win. As selfish as it was, you felt like you had something to do with the way Pat played tonight and you knew you needed to fix things with him. It was unfair for you to ignore someone who had no idea there were unsaid expectations.

When the phone rings more than the usual three it takes him to answer, you begin to worry.

“So now you want to talk to me? Save yourself the lecture, Y/N I'm not in the mood.”

You knew you deserved it, but it was the first time he was anything but nice to you and it made you flinch.

He sighs. “M’sorry, I’m just not having the best time lately” he apologies.

You can hear how tired he is and you would bet that he's running his hand through his hair and over his face.

“Does it have anything to do with the game?”  

His end of the phone is silent. You knew he didn’t necessarily prefer to talk about losses even though they claimed his brain.

“I didn't think you’d watch the game”

“Well you must not know me then. I’d never miss one of your games”

“Even when you’re mad at me?”

“I’m not mad, Pat. Not at you anyway.”

“Well you could’ve fooled me. Who are you mad at then if it’s not me? Because you’ve been completely ignoring me and I don’t even know why. I don’t know how I’ve managed to piss you off 3000 miles away”

“I’m not mad at you, Pat! You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m mad at myself.”

His mood instantly shifts when he hears that. He’s always been such a good listener and shoulder for you to lean on.

“Why is that? What’s going on honey? Hang up the phone and Facetime me. I need to see you.”

Hearing the pet name makes your heart ache even more than it already does and makes you equally as confused. You have to pull the phone away from your ear just so that he doesn't hear your sharp intake of breath as you grasp for any kind of solid ground, your head spinning. Your phone begins to vibrate against your chest like it’s trying to soothe your heart.

“Hey, Y/N, look at me. Are you okay?”

For the first time since meeting him at that party months ago, you can't bring yourself to look at him.

Even without seeing his face you know his lips are turned down into a frown and his eyes are full of concern. The loaded question hangs in the air, waiting to tip the balance of your life and this relationship. How could you be okay when the person you felt the most for had someone else, someone he hadn't even bothered to tell you about.

“When were you going to tell me you had a girlfriend?” you ask him, trying to muster a smile for his benefit but there’s so much hurt in your voice and sadness in your eyes that there’s no use.

You expect him to play it off, act like he was going to tell you all along. What you don’t expect is for him to turn red and start scratching the back of his neck. And suddenly you have a very bad feeling. If he was acting like this, it must be more serious than you thought.

“What? What girlfriend would you be referring to now?”

He’s acting goofy and it’s not adding up. Your eyes narrow in on him through the screen. What was he up to?

“The girlfriend that was mentioned by your roommate in an interview? Are you seriously going to keep lying? It’s bad enough that you didn’t tell me about her in the first place”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, come again?” He still had that stupid look on his face like he was in on some big secret and it was really starting to aggravate you.

“The interview of Landon that USA posted. They asked him if he learned anything new about his roommate and the first thing he came up with was how you’re some big girlfriend guy, Pat. So cut the crap, who is she?” you deadpan.

He scoots closer to the camera, still with that smug look and says “He did what now?”

Apparently you had to spell it out for him. “Do you have a girlfriend or not, Pat? Why are you dancing around the question?”

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend. Yet.” he tells you, rocking back in his chair.

Now you were more confused than ever. “What?”

“Unless you want to change that?” he pauses, waiting for you to connect the dots. “You see, I’ve been waiting and waiting on this girl to finally give me a chance but I couldn’t tell if she was interested in me. Until now, when she’s 3000 miles away from me and is pissed over a comment Slaggs made in an interview about a girlfriend that I don’t even have.”

You knew he was saying words and all the right ones too, but you just couldn’t comprehend what he was actually saying. So you echo the only word your brain seemed to know, “What?”

“It’s you, Y/N! You’re the girl.” he laughs.

“But….since when? When did you know?”

“Since the night I shook your hand at that party. All the guys knew I had the biggest thing for you, they’ve been giving me a hard time for not making a move.”

“That was the first night we officially met” You said finally putting it all together, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t know how you felt and we were good friends, I didn’t want to mess that up” he shrugs like it’s no big deal.

You sit back in your own seat now and take in all that he’s revealed in the last few minutes. This much you could understand because it’s exactly why you hadn’t said anything yourself.

“So Slaggs outed your secret huh” you tease him and he’s relieved to see a smile finally grace your face.

“I really didn't know about the interview, but I guess I’m going to have to thank him for that later”

You raise your eyebrow at him and even in another country he can see the troublemaker gleam to your eyes. “Thank him? You think this ends well for you, bud?”

He looks way too smug for your liking, “Of course it does, I’ve finally got the girl of my dreams and I’m on my way to a gold medal”

“And what makes you so sure that I’m yours”

“Just say yes, Y/N. You won’t regret it”.

[charincharge]

I Don’t Want To Wait, four

rowaelin high school bff au  masterlist

The night Rowan spent snoring next to Aelin was the best night of sleep she’d ever had. After they woke in a tangle of arms and legs, sandwiched together, Aelin wrote an entire page in her journal about the amount of touching they did. She was incredibly upset that she was unconscious for most of it.

She was grateful for their all-nighter though, because in the week that followed, she’d barely seen him. He’d been at the mercy of Lacrosse practices, every morning and evening, doing drills and scrimmages until he could barely walk. She was especially annoyed because with morning practices, it cut into her special Rowan driving her to school time. Because there was no way she was waking up in time to drive him to the field in the morning.

However, today was finally the Lacrosse championship game, which meant that tonight, Aelin would get her best friend back.

She couldn’t wait.

Aelin had spent all last night making a Rowan’s Pump Up Playlist, to help him get into the zone today. He’d briefly mentioned that the cheerleaders were each assigned a varsity player to bake treats for, and Aelin refused to be outshined by some random cheerleader.

Aelin flipped through the playlist one last time. It was good. 47 songs in honor of the number on his, each one an empowering anthem or a self-assured ego boost. Plus, Aelin may have sneakily included songs that insinuated how she felt about him. She only hoped he would read between the lines.

She took her time dressing in green and gold, the school’s colors, and Aelin felt ready for game day. But she suddenly did not feel like waiting around for Rowan to come pick her up today. She wanted to see his face now.

So, in a last minute decision, Aelin rushed out to get them both coffees and headed to the small condo Rowan lived in with his Aunt Maeve. Black, no sugar or milk for Rowan. Hazelnut syrup and extra creamer for Aelin. She placed the hot beverage holder into her bike basket and took off.

Aunt Maeve was just heading out as Aelin pulled the coffees from her basket. Maeve greeted her with a large hug and a wide smile.

“You’re up early, hon,” she laughed, but Aelin smiled through her self-consciousness. She wasn’t really a morning person, but today was important to Rowan. And she wanted to be the best best friend she could be.

“Is he still out on his run?” Aelin asked, and Maeve shook her head, biting her lip conspiratorially.

“He actually didn’t run this morning.”

Aelin gasped an overexaggerated intake of air. She couldn’t fathom Rowan not running every single morning of his life. “No run?!”

Maeve laughed again. “Nope. He wanted to rest up before the big game. Poor thing looked exhausted last night. In fact, last I checked he was still sleeping.”

Aelin looked at her watch. 7:15. Most mornings Rowan was up at 5. If he was actually still asleep, Aelin would never stop mocking him for it. Plus, as she rediscovered the other morning, she really enjoyed a sleepy Rowan.

“Go ahead and wake him,” Meave said, but Aelin hadn’t waited to her approval to make her way into the condo. She made her way up the narrow stairs, coffee in each hand, and headed down the hall to the bedroom she knew so well.

Aelin fiddled with the old handle and pushed it open. The heavy door cracked open slowly, falling against Aelin’s body, so she had to slowly shove it with her hip.

One foot, one shoulder and half her face into Rowan’s bedroom, Aelin completely froze. Deer in headlights. Struck down where she stood.

Because Rowan was not asleep, as his Aunt had thought. Rowan was very much awake. Though his eyes remained closed, Aelin’s gaze fell to about halfway down the covers, where there was a lot of movement going on. She watched for a solid second, jaw unhinged, as Rowan’s hand moved up and down beneath his dark sheets, making a peaked shape with each vigorous movement.

Aelin gasped and blinked rapidly, realizing that she should exit the room immediately, but her gasp was too loud.

Rowan’s eyes flew open and landed on her, standing in his doorway, staring, and she watched as Rowan’s cheeks flooded with red.

“AELIN!” he squawked. “WHAT THE FUCK?” Flustered, she watched as Rowan grasped at his comforter, halting his movements to pull up the dark sheets to his chin, so nothing but this face was peeking out. “CLOSE THE DOOR!” Despite the volume, his voice was breathy and strangled, as if he’d just come from his run.

“Oh my gods,” Aelin mumbled, and she knew her cheeks would be redder than Rowan’s if she were to glance in a mirror. “Oh my gods,” she repeated, taking a step back and letting the door slam in her face.

Through the thick wood, she could hear Rowan groan loudly, but it was muffled by sheets. Gods. Aelin knew that Rowan was probably doing that. But to actually see it….? She thought her face might be permanently stained red with how hot she suddenly felt.

Aelin bit her lip, toeing at the beige carpet beneath her sneaker, wondering what the hell she should do now.

“I’m sorry!” she squeaked out.

“AELIN, GO DOWNSTAIRS!” Rowan bellowed loudly from behind the door, and Aelin nodded, despite him being unable to see her face. “I’ll be down… soon,” he said softer.

“Kay,” Aelin replied quickly. “You don’t have to rush, or anything. I can… uh, wait. For you to… finish.”

“Aelin, please…” Rowan sounded pained, and she wondered if it was because of his embarrassment or other things. Nope. She was not going to think about that.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Aelin repeated over and over as she stumbled her way downstairs to the small kitchen table. She slumped over the cheery yellow table and placed her head in her hands, willing her face to cool down. But every time she managed to calm herself, she’d remember the movement beneath Rowan’s sheets and become warm again.

When she heard the shower turn on overhead, Aelin placed her head in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut and willed the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She sat like that, even after she heard the heavy footfall of Rowan’s shoes coming down the stairs and tread across the kitchen floor.

She heard the sound of a chair scraping across the tile, but Aelin kept her hands over her face, unable to look at him.

Rowan sighed loudly and took a long sip of his coffee.

“Let’s talk it out,” he said, and Aelin finally peeked through her fingers. Rowan was freshly showered, hair still wet, and he was looking up at the ceiling, also unable to look at her.

“No way,” Aelin mumbled.

Rowan tugged at his hair. “Well, if we don’t I’m going to tank this championship game, and it’ll be your fault.”

Aelin groaned as he pulled her hands away from her face. Hands that were definitely just touching… elsewhere. He held her hands in his for a second on the table before pulling away.

“Fine,” Aelin conceded.

“You didn’t actually see anything, right?” he asked, and Aelin shook her head quickly. Rowan released a steady breath, a nervous smile appearing on his face.

“Great,” Rowan continued. “Then, it’s not a big deal at all, and we are totally fine and nothing is weird. I mean, it was weird that you walked in on it, but everyone does it, right?” He brought his coffee to his mouth and took a long sip, clearly needing to do something to stop his rambling.

“Uh, I’ve never but… yeah, I guess.”

Rowan stopped mid-sip and stared at her, looking as if she’d just told him the most insane fact ever. “You haven’t?”

Aelin shrugged, feeling her cheeks heat again. “I don’t think I know how?”

Rowan inhaled sharply, choking on his coffee, coughing loudly. Aelin buried her face into her hands again. Could this morning get any more awkward?

“You know, there’s definitely, uh, videos on the internet that could help with that.” He paused, his nervous smile expanding as he laughed at his best friend’s horrified face. “I could send you a few if you want.”

“Rowan Whitethorn, you are not allowed to send me porn,” Aelin hissed. Rowan burst out laughing as he poked her cheek.

“I didn’t know your face could get this red, Ace.”

“Yeah, well, we’re learning a lot about each other this morning I guess...”

Rowan snorted loudly  as Aelin grabbed her coffee and stalked toward the front door, away from his mocking. She’d walked in on him but somehow, she was the one who was too embarrassed to function today?

“You know, I stayed up all last night making you a Game Day Playlist, but if you’re going to be mean, I’m not sharing it with you,” she said, and Rowan immediately backtracked, his face lighting up with excitement as he slung his arm over her shoulders.

“You did?”

Aelin nodded, pulling out her phone to show him the playlist. “I was just about to hit share, but maybe I won’t….”

He pouted, his green eyes widening. “I promise I’ll be nice.” He paused. “But also, you should ask Lysandra to teach you. I can’t imagine functioning without doing it every morning.”

Aelin had to bite her tongue from squeaking out EVERY MORNING?! But she just didn’t want to continue having this conversation, despite how badly she wanted to ask Rowan what he thought about every morning while touching himself. There were some questions she just couldn’t ask him, despite how close they were or how curious she suddenly was.

Instead, she hopped into his jeep and sent him the playlist. He connected his phone to his car with a grin and turned up the mix.

“47 songs?” His crooked smile made her stomach flutter, and he laughed as he pressed play and cranked the volume up. “Taylor Swift?”  Rowan scoffed.  “Really?”

“She’s the greatest songwriter of our time,” Aelin replied, sticking her tongue out.

“Maybe, but this fake rap shit is not it,” he laughed, scrolling to the next song. “Ah, much better.”

The first chords of Kanye’s “Power” filled the car, and Rowan took off.

By the time the pair made it to school, their morning awkwardness had completely melted away. And Rowan was in the zone for his game.

He was immediately bombarded by his assigned cheerleader, who, as Aelin had predicted, had baked him cookies. Aelin didn’t recognize the girl – a brown-eyed brunette, who looked every bit the male fantasy in her skin baring cheerleading uniform, her hair pulled up into a curled ponytail and her face displaying the number 47 on each cheek, batting her her curled lashes at her best friend. Aelin wondered for a brief moment what kind of porn Rowan had delved into, if this girl was actually one of his fantasies, but she immediately pushed that aside.

Aelin watched as Rowan smiled, thanking the girl kindly for his baked goods. And she pretended not to notice his eyes linger slightly at the green and gold ORYNTH printed across her chest. Or the way they fell to the short hem of her skirt as she walked away, throwing him one last smile over her bared shoulder.

Aelin looked at her own game day outfit – jeans and a t-shirt, and suddenly felt self-conscious, which she hated. Aelin never felt like this before. She’d never been the type of girl who suddenly compared herself to other girls, but … other girls had never smiled at Rowan like that, either. She suddenly felt a level of possessiveness rush through her. She linked her arm through Rowan’s, who looked surprised, but didn’t object to her closeness.

“Do you want my cookies?” Rowan asked, offering the plastic covered plate to Aelin, and Aelin accepted it greedily. “I think sugar might make me ill today,” he laughed.

“You’re going to be great,” Aelin assured him, knocking her hip against him.

“I hope so,” he mumbled quietly. She knew that Rowan was nervous about the game, but she hadn’t realized how much. As one of two sophomores on the Varsity team, she assumed he’d be seeing mostly bench time, but apparently that didn’t stop his nerves from taking over.

“You’ve worked so hard this season,” Aelin told her best friend and watched as his chest puffed out, swelling with pride. “No matter what happens, you’re gonna crush it. I know.”

“Thanks,” he replied softly.

“See you on the field,” Aelin said, as he dropped her off at her first class of the day. Double period algebra, ugh.

“I’ll be the one with the big stick in my hand,” Rowan replied with a smile, and Aelin snickered loudly.

“Been there, seen that,” she laughed, and Rowan’s jaw dropped.

“You said you didn’t see anything!” he hissed, and Aelin cackled and winked, and she watched as he realized what she was doing.

“You’re trying to distract me,” he laughed.

“Is it working?” she asked, and he smirked back.

He flicked her off as he shoved his earbuds into his ears, walking away to the rhythm of one of the songs on her playlist.

~*~

If you want to listen to Rowan’s Game Day playlist, check it out HERE

If you want to be added to be general TOG taglist, message me HERE

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@hizqueen4life

@maastrash

@justgiu12

@aknymph

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@lizzziebear 

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@faerie-queen-fireheart

[r3almellow]

MLQC Boys And The Domestic Life

I kept this as PG-13 as possible.  You guys know I can be a little...naughty with my HC’s but I know that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so I try not to do too much. I apologize if you were hoping something else! Apologies for the typos and such! 

Warning: Slight Spoilers for those who know nothing about their backstories or current events!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kiro

Kiro’s life is crazy enough as it is, so coming home to you is a nice change of pace. No cameras flashing in his face, no overly excited fans, and no manager to hound him about what he can and can’t eat. It’s just you and him just the way he likes it.

Your boy is a gamer and will always try to pull you into whatever he’s playing. 

He will buy a lot of two player games just so you can play with him. 

If its a single player game you enjoy watching him play! He’ll even offer to teach you how to play!

Since he’s also a huge fan of comics he’ll talk your ear off about them! 

Bonus points if you’re a comic book lover and/or a gamer too! 

Will fall even more in love with you if you go out of your way to buy things he’s interested in. 

“I got you this limited edition Iron Man statue! Like it?” 

He’ll marry you right then and there! 

Kiro is very playful so expect tons of play fights! Tickle fights, pillow fights, and wrestling which...turns into....you know....

Kiro enjoys going grocery shopping with you. Of course he has to be in disguise in order to shop with you in peace, but he enjoys the company while he buys things that would get him into trouble with Savin. 

However, Savin has nothing to worry about when it comes to Kiro’s eating habits, because while you’re pretty lenient with Kiro and often him join his mischievous activities, you do a great job with following his diet routine. 

You’ll sometimes join him on his diets to support him. Its hard on you, especially when the sight of french fries makes your mouth water. 

“See, honey, drinking a protein shake isn’t so bad!” 

“But I want a milkshake, barbecued ribs and a nice juicy burger!!!!” Poor baby just wants to eat!

You’re normally the one that cooks mainly because Kiro never has time to do it himself and almost always settles for something quick or whatever his nutritionist shoves down his throat.  If he does have time off you both cook together. 

If Kiro ends up breaking his diet you join him on his workouts. Kiro doesn’t mind because there’s something about you being all sweaty and panting heavily that really gets him going. 

 “I’m sweaty and gross...” 

“What a coincidence?! I’m all sweaty and gross too! Lets take a shower together.” 

In the bedroom, Kiro is definitely a cuddler and it doesn’t matter who cuddles first as long as he can feel you against him. 

Because of his busy schedule Kiro becomes extremely needy. Both in the sexual and non-sexual sense. He hates being away from you for too long and calls you almost everyday while he’s away. 

He’ll be in the middle of rehearsals while FaceTiming you and Savin is like “BOY IF YOU DON’T STOP WITH THAT PUPPY LOVE BS AND FINISH THIS DANCE NUMBER I’LL...” 

If your relationship isn’t public yet, Kiro won’t do too much, but he will steal kisses when he thinks no one is looking. You two have been caught fooling around by Savin a few times, which always ends with him scolding you both. 

But once you go public, EXPECT TONS OF KISSES AND HUGS ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE! THIS MAN DOESN’T CARE. 

He wants the world to know how much he loves you and will continue to broadcast it until hell freezes over. 

Will put his fans in their place if they try anything with you. Your sunshine ain’t afraid to lay down the law!

Top 3 Pet Names: Miss Chips, Honey, and Cutie. Honorable Mention: Cookie

Gavin

As you know, Gavin’s upbringing wasn’t exactly the best and seeing what his mom went through, he never wants to put you through that. 

This man practically worships you! You’re everything he’s ever wanted in a partner so he’ll do anything to keep you in his life and happy. 

Casual dates. Nothing too fancy unless its a special occasion like a birthday or maybe....a wedding proposal?! 

Aside from that, Gavin’s pretty simple and often lets you take the lead which you find infuriating since you want him to have some sort of input in decision making when it comes to little things.

Gavin is the cook of the household mainly because you think he’s the better cook. If you make such claims, Gavin will always say that he prefers to eat whatever you make.

In bed, Gavin likes to hold you tightly from behind with his faced buried in your hair. His favorite position is where you’re hugging him and he has his head pressed against your chest. Its easier to hear your heartbeat that way. 

If you stroke his hair while holding him then he’s a goner. He’ll be out like a light and you’ll just watch how adorable he looks sleeping against you.

Days where you’re both home are referred to as “Lazy Days.” You’ll sit around, do absolutely nothing, and enjoy each other’s company. You may wash Sparky after its gone through a full week of riding through the city, but sometimes the laziness is just too strong. 

Doesn’t help when Gavin has you in his arms. The entire day can escape you when you’re in such a comfortable position. 

As for PDA, this man doesn’t care who’s watching! If he feels like kissing you then he’ll kiss you and he’s all about hand holding. If you’re uncomfortable with such gestures then he’ll refrain from doing so.

Until you say otherwise, you will be getting a lot of affection out in the open! If people glare, then he’ll just glare right back and go back to loving on you. 

Being in love with you and not caring what people think isn’t a crime, right?! 

Obviously, he won’t do anything too wild, but Gavin can be a bit mischievous when he wants to be. 

He’s not as bad as Kiro in the cheeky department, but a lot of the “accidental” touches aren’t accidents at all! 

Always your protector. Is always up for kicking someone’s ass if they look at you funny. He’d go to jail for you or...at least make whatever he’s about to do look like an accident.

Clingy Baby #2!

When he’s gone for long periods of time, he clings on to you and never lets you go once he returns. 

Holding you in his arms while you’re trying to cook, casually playing with your hands as the two of you watch TV, and heated make out sessions that often end in a night of passion. 

No one would have guessed Gavin could turn into a touch starved crazy man. But could you blame him? The things he has to go through on missions really puts him in a mood. He needs your love and affection after a long mission. 

Prefers to spoil you instead of the other way around, but let’s you pamper him. He hasn’t been shown any form of affection since his mother died, so bare with him! 

Gavin has never told you this outright, but you’re the closest thing to a home he has ever had in a very long time. Wherever you are, he wants to be right by your side. 

Top 3 Pet Names:  Babe/Baby, Beautiful, and Angel

Victor

Victor loves taking you out whether its to nice restaurants or out of the country. 

Has no problem dropping thousands on you because you deserve the world. You’ll have to tell him to calm down with how much he spoils you, but he most likely won’t listen. 

Of course he’s not completely insane and has some level of restraint. 

Ever the professional, there is a difference between how Victor treats you at work compared to when you’re home. 

He always wants you to be at your best and doesn’t want you slacking off just because you’re with him.  

At home, Victor is a way more affectionate with you. The first few times he pulled you in for a loving embrace or a kiss, you had to do a double take. This isn’t the cold-hearted CEO who picked a part your report and verbally ripped it to shreds just hours before!

Victor does most of the cooking, but if you want to help him he won’t complain. Just listen to the directions he gives you and he won’t critique you.

He does appreciate it when you cook for him. Sometimes you’ll wake up before him just to prepare a nice breakfast and his heart just swells at the sight of you doing your best to make scrambled eggs. 

“Its a little runny, but edible.” Wow...thank’s, honey. 

Victor loves taking you to Souvenir so he can cook for you. Lunch dates and dinner dates are sometimes had there. 

Sleeping wise, Victor will entwine his fingers with yours and hold your hand over his chest as he sleeps on his back and you sleep on your side. He will never admit it, but he’s a big fan of being the big spoon especially after a night of intimacy. 

Will teach you French if you ask! Will sometimes tease you by throwing out random French phrases and if you figure out what he says he’ll give you a reward!

TRIPLE POINTS IF YOU RESPOND BACK IN FRENCH. Leave him shook!

Your man is a workaholic! You sometimes have to convince him to sleep after he spends countless hours working. Even on his days off his eyes are either glued to his phone or his computer. 

He’ll be reluctant, but he’ll drop whatever he’s doing if you’re adamant about him getting rest or spending time with you.  

If he’s already in bed looking over paperwork you can just snuggle up to him to distract him from what he’s doing. Of course he’ll complain, but all of that stops the minute he wraps his arms around you. 

Victor isn’t one for too much PDA, but he will do small things. 

For example, you’ll be at a company event, he’ll squeeze your hand gently and kiss the back of it just to see you blush.

Speaking of events, you attend all of the banquets with him. Everyone knows who you are and who you’re with. They won’t dare try any funny business with you.

 There is a big part of him that likes to brag about you to his business associates. 

“They saved a dying company through hard work and determination, has to deal with me on a daily basis, and continues to persevere even when the odds are against them. They’re one of a kind.” 

Top 3 Pet Names: Idiot/Dummy, Dear and Darling(Victor normally uses nicknames when you’re in an intimate setting and very rarely) 

Lucien

Ever since he was young Lucien has known nothing but hardships and just how cruel and twisted the world was. 

Having you in his life really changes his perspective on the world. Who would have thought that a man like him would have someone as precious as you in his life?

Your dates consist of art exhibits, aquariums, and picnics in the park. Honestly Lucien prefers private and more intimate dates with you. It gives him a chance to learn more about you and to really focus on you without the distraction of the outside world. 

You cook together and its pretty much a perfect balance. You learn different recipes together and think of it as a bonding experience.

You often visit him on campus for lunch dates and to work on whatever project you’ve roped him into. 

You’re not sure why, but his students practically adore you. You’ve heard them whisper about your future with the popular professor. Talks of marriage often fills the room whenever they catch wind of you being on campus for the day. 

You find it embarrassing, but Lucien only laughs off the murmurs of his students. 

They have active imaginations, but he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t think of spending the rest of his life with you.

Lucien is fine with PDA. He’ll hold your hand and give you gentle kisses. He’ll tease you a lot!! There’s never a time where he doesn’t have you blushing. 

He enjoys catching you off guard! Lucien will even go as far as to steal a quick kiss while you’re rambling about how much stress you’re under with work. 

Lucien’s favorite thing to do with you is to relax in a nice warm bubble bath. It only turns steamy 70% of the time but Lucien truly enjoys little intimate moments like that with you. 

When it comes to sleeping, Lucien really likes it when you’re sleeping against him with your head on his chest and he has an arm around your torso.

He also likes listening to your steady breaths as you sleep. There’s something soothing about how calm you sound in your most vulnerable state. He sleeps a thousand times better when you’re with him.  

Lucien appreciates how accepting you are of him despite the fact that he’s done a lot of harm in the past. 

You trust that Lucien will never hurt you and while he knows this, he sometimes feels like he has a lot to prove. 

Deceiving you is his biggest regret and if you continue to love him, Lucien will devote his life to making you happy.

Top 3 Pet Names: My Little Fool, Love, and Silly

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Done! I really hope you like it! Want to read more of my stuff?! Please go to my MLQC masterlist here!

[burning-omen]

Break the Rules part 2

Peter Parker x Male!Mob boss!reader

Summary: The next morning with reader, Peter, a unexpected (and unwanted) guest, and an even less welcome anxiety attack....fun, right?

Warning: a little bit of anxiety and a small anxiety attack. OH AND GUNS! I ALMOST FORGOT! Murder threats and mentions too!

Part 1

Word count: 2879

A/n: Writers block is kicking my a*s so part 3 might take longer. Also, there’s a scene that I f*cking hate so much, like reading makes me want to cringe so hard, there’s nothing wrong with it, I just wish I went somewhere else with this chapter.

Oh, Peter also forgets his pants at some point, just a little heads up.

Last time: You settled down in your own bedroom, hanging your coat and tie up by the door before drifting off to sleep.

Now:

The next morning you woke up, only to hear Peter loudly exclaim “what the hell!” From the other room.

You groaned then sat up, still hearing Peter panicking in the other room. You made your way to him, only to see him sitting on the bed with the most panicked expression you’ve ever seen on a human person.

“Peter...relax yourself..”

His eyes snapped over to you. “Where am I?!”

“Fucking Christ…” you groaned. You’d woken up with a headache that felt far too similar to a hangover for you liking. “...you’re in my house. Yours was swarming with police and I wouldn’t want them to see me or you. Understand?”

He nodded slowly.

“Good, so you're done yelling then?”

He flushed red then nodded with a small chuckle.

“Sorry…”

Groaning again, you said, “it’s fine, just come down stairs when you're ready, okay?”

“O-okay..”

“Great..” with that you walked out of the room.

You honestly had no idea why you were being so nice to Peter. You’ve never shown this kind of hospitality to anyone before. So all of this was very new to you.

Maybe this had something to do with the sudden thought you had last night.

You walked down the stairs and to the kitchen. The entire bottom floor had been completely illuminated by sunlight making cooking yourself and your guest a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and sausage a lot easier. You were a little surprised that there was food in the house. Then you remembered that you’d been paying your neighbors to bring in groceries every few weeks.

You heard light thumping from upstairs then saw Peter emerge from the stairway...with no pants. You could feel your cheeks heat up at the sight...he knows he’s not wearing pants, right?

From the looks of it the answer was no, he came and sat on one of the stools on the outside of the counter then folded his arms and laid on them.

“Sorry for taking so long…” he said through a yawn.

You cleared your throat a little then said, “it’s fine.” With a small voice crack. “It seems you’ve made yourself at home..”

He laughed softly and said, “I hope you don’t mind. Your house is just very relaxing to me.”

“I don’t mind at all..”

The house was silent other than the sounds of you preparing both yours and Peter’s plate. He looked up at you suspiciously.

“What is it?”

“Just...why are you being so nice to me? Like I understand that you want me to work for you but it seems like it’s…”

“It seems like what, Peter?”

He picked up the fork on the counter and twirled it in his hand.

“I don’t know… To me it looks like you want me to do more than just work for you…” he said, getting quieter and quieter, sinking down farther into his seat as he went on.

Well fuck. You see, you’re not the best with emotional confrontation. Or emotional anything for that matter. You could easily put on a simple “I’m Just A Suave Kind Of Person” act but that just makes you look like a fool because this has gone far beyond just being charming.

“Well...” you cleared your throat, trying to find the right words for the moments. “You see, I’ve just bee-“

You were cut off by the very loud sound of your front door being practically thrown off its hinges by no other than Markus Cane, aka one of the lower level(but not bottom tear) players from your more “private” games. He was very clearly enraged. More than likely about his recent losing streak, an unfortunate occurrence that's bringing him closer to being kicked out of the game permanently. Now he's broken into your house while you have an important guest over, which has just brought him a lot closer to death.

But, instead of letting the growing rage inside you show you spoke to the man in the calmest of tones.

“Markus Cane? What brings y-”

You were, once again, interrupted by him.

“You mother fucker!” He shouted, “You’re the reason my life has gone to shit You and your little games!”

You rolled your eyes at the disheveled man, “Is this about you losing the last few games? Because I can assure you that your...inability to play a proper game has nothing to do with me. I only run fair games, it’s your own fault that you lost.”

“Bullshit!” He pulled a pistol out of the waistband of his pants and aimed it straight at you...Sort of.

It was obvious he hadn’t slept in days, he had dark circles under his red bloodshot eyes. His hands shook and his body swayed as a clear sleep deprivation. He was delirious.

“You’re always pulling the strings in those games! Always behind the scenes telling the croupiers what to do! You set me up!”

“Trust me, I had no interest in your downfall..”

He looked at you with confusion, “‘Had’?”

“Yes Markus, had. I don’t know if you noticed but you’ve broken into my house, throw ridiculous accusations at me and now you're threatening my life, all of this done in front of my current guest of honor. At the moment I want you dead.” You said, your tone never changing.

Markus stumbled backward, the weight of what he’d done crashing down on him. He backed himself into a wall, his hands shaking so hard that he dropped the gun. It seemed as though the safety was still on so it collided with the ground without going off.

Peter, who you hadn’t been too focused on at the moment, rushed to grab it before settling back onto the stool, setting it on the table. All done while keeping his eyes on the man, who was now overcome with the realization that he was more than definitely dead.

“L-listen man, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke!” He stuttered.

You walked from around the counter, placing your hand on Peter's shoulder for a moment before moving forward towards the man.

He was frozen, mouth agape watching you.

“Now, I would normally kill a fool like you who decided to interrupt my peaceful morning, but I have a guest and that would be rude. And the clean up would take hours, hours that I don’t want to waste on idiots like you. So i’ll give you ten seconds to get as far away from here as possible..” Your voice shifted, turning to a lower, more threatening tone.

Markus stared at you for a long moment not moving until you said, “You have 5 seconds Markus..”

He was out of your house immediately, slamming the door behind him.

You turned back to Peter, who was staring at the door Markus had run through moments before.

“Peter?” You said, your tone changing from the anger laced one you used earlier to a much softer, calmer voice.

He turned to look at you, his eyes wide and bright as though you hadn’t just threatened to murder someone.

“Yes?”

You sighed, leaning against the counter next to him.

“I think it’s time for us to go.”

He nodded, hopping up from the stool.

“Okay, I’ll go grab my shoes from upstairs.”

“Mhmm, make sure you grab your pants while you're up there..”

He looked at you with confusion clear on his face, “What?”

Without looking back at him (less in a respectful way and more in a ‘I don’t want to start staring’ way) you gesture downward.

He looked down, then blush quickly took over his face.

“Shit! I’m sorry!” He shouted before running up the stairs quickly.

You went up a little after he did, heading to your own room. Quickly getting yourself ready for the day ahead of you, grabbing your tie and putting on your shoes as you exited the room.

By the time you were done and heading back down the stairs Peter was already there (with pants this time) staring down at his lap, blush still covering his face.

“Are you ready to leave?”

He nodded, more than likely too embarrassed to speak at the moment.

“Alright, lets go.” You walked over to the door with Peter right behind you, grabbing the keys from the small table next to it.

The both of you walked out, the sun was beaming down but a cool breeze evened out the temperature.

You unlocked the car doors, watching Peter slide into the passenger side quickly. You got into the driver's seat and started the car. You drove in silence for 20 minutes, every so often Peter would look over at you like he wanted to say something but would always go back to fumbling with his hands in his lap.

You decided to interrupt his anxious cycle, besides you were almost at your place of business and you wouldn’t be able to talk to him until after he was done with whatever work he has to do today or if he was suddenly brave enough to walk all the way up to your office on his own, which you doubted he would.

“Is there something you want to say, Peter?”

He stumbled and tripped over his words nervously, creating an illegible sequence of sounds.

“I can’t understand you, Peter, you need to relax..”

He stopped, taking a long breath before speaking again.

“If I wasn’t there, would you have killed that man?” He asked, barely above a whisper.

He didn’t want to talk about it but he felt like he had to know. Did he really change your decision that much? So much that you went from Yes Murder to No Murder in a matter of seconds.

“Probably. I don’t usually take any kind of disrespect from anyone, ever… But, you were there and I didn’t want to subject you to that, especially this early in the morning.”

There was a long silence after that.

Peter didn’t know how to respond and you had nothing more to say on the subject.

As you drew closer and closer to the large building both of you worked at Peter felt as though he should say something, you offered him a job, taken care of him while he slept and cooked him breakfast so he figured some sort of thanks was necessary. (You also didn’t murder a guy because of him but what ever.) By the time he figured out what he wanted to say to you, you’d already arrived at your destination but that didn’t stop him.

“I-I…” He started, but all the things he planned to say died on his tongue when you looked over at him.

His internal monologue turned to one word in that moment. Fuck, fuck, fuck…

He gulped, feeling a knot coil in his chest and in a very sudden moment his mind was on fire. Not a single coherent thought ran through his head and he felt his throat close up. So he did what he always did in moments of anxiety, he left. He opened the car door and ran into the building, not really realizing that you had to go in there too. But at that moment it didn’t matter, he had to get away. He had to get away from you, being in that car with you was throwing him into a weird anxious panic. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know why. But once he was away from you it got better.

You were less confused than Peter was, you’d watched him long enough to know that speaking was a problem for him. Especially in situations where he felt he needed to speak but he still felt rude and interruptive if he did. But then he was flooded with the many thoughts of how it could go wrong or how the other person, the other person being you this time, would feel, which would panic him and cause him to leave as fast as possible.

You understood, he was having a hard time speaking, he panicked, he left.

It was a bit rude of him to leave your door open but you could excuse it just this once.

You got out of your car, locking the doors then pocketing the keys. Slamming your door shut before walking around to the other side and closing the door that Peter had left open.

As you walked inside and up the stairs you could feel multiple eyes watching you. Before you disappeared up the stairs completely you looked down at the many low level idiots below, and then you spotted Peter. His cheeks were a dark pink and his eyes were teary, he stared down at his feet, tapping the left with the right every few seconds. He looked so upset, not quite sad or angry just…upset.

Seeing him like that hurt. It hurt a lot.

You made him feel that way, not intentionally, no. You would never, Still, he was feeling that way because of you.

You wanted to help him, to comfort him and tell him that everything was okay but you know that you had piles of work you couldn’t get behind on. They were important and then needed to be done. That had to be done, it wasn’t opsional.

And then you remembered something that made you want to grin like a cat.

This is your business. This was your building. These were your workers.

You were in control of everything that happened here, you chose what was important.

And what was important to you right now was that boy downstairs that was looking like a kicked puppy.

So you walked back down the stairs, cut through the large group of associates that flooded the lowest floor and got to Peter.

You gently grabbed his hand, holding it close to your chest and rubbing his palm slowly with your thumb. He didn’t meet your eyes only staring at your hand clasping his.

“Peter?”

He didn’t respond but you could tell he was listening.

“Would you like to go home?” You asked in a low voice.

He quickly shook his head no.

“Okay, okay...where do you want to go? I’m not letting you stay down here, not with how you are right now.?”

He looked up at you for a moment before slowly pointing to the ceiling with his free hand. It took you a moment to figure out what he meant.

“My office?”

He nodded and squeezed your hand tightly.

“Alright, lets go..”

In seconds you were pulling the shaking boy behind you up multiple flights of stairs. In the time it took you to get to your office you’d become winded, while Peter on the other hand looked almost completely fine. His chest rising and falling a bit faster than normal but other than that there was no indication that you’d dragged him up a shit ton of stairs.

Once you caught your breath you gently guided Peter to the chair he’d sat in the previous night. You leaned back against the front of your desk, your hands on either side of you, keeping you balanced.

“So… Are you feeling any better?”

He didn’t respond for a long while, and for a moment you thought he wasn’t going to.

“A little...I-” he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to regain control of his thoughts, “I thought getting out of the car would help but just...being in there with all those people, I-it only made it worse. For a second I felt like I couldn’t breath, it was sudden an-and unexpected.”

You opened your mouth to say something but stopped yourself.

“Honestly I don’t understand why I was suddenly so nerve wrecked back in the car. I’d been fine the entire ride but at the end I just...wasn’t.” He looked up at you quickly. “I’m not always like this, I swear! I just…”

“You’re having a rough morning, I get it. It happens.”

“I-I know, I guess I should have at least tried to handle it a bit more professionally,” he muttered.

You laughed a little, pushing yourself off of the desk and leaning closer to Peter.

“I’ve seen you in your underpants, it doesn’t get more unprofessional than that..”

His face immediately flushed red, stammering he refused to meet your eyes, “Sorry about that…”

“Don’t worry about it, you were tired, it’s an easy mistake to make..”

“Yeah, at home. Not at the house of a man you don’t even know the name of.”

This made you freeze, had you really not told him your name?

You felt you face heat up, visible or not you brought your hand up to your face, shielding yourself from your own embarrassment.

“O-oh crap..” you muttered to yourself.

You cleared your throat, straightening yourself out in a moment.

“You’ll have to forgive me Peter, I hadn’t realized that I never told you..”

He looked up at you with a soft smile and said, “I-It’s fine, honestly. It was a simple mistake.”

“Well then, let me fix my mistake. I’m Y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet you..”

[mmilkbreadd]

Chapter seventeen: “Promises”

Masterpost - Prev - Next

(These links might not work so I recommend you looking at the post linked on my profile for new updates)

Warning(s): none

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“Do you want to go out with me?!”

As Bokuto asked that question, your world began to spin. 

“Emiko is right” was the first thing you thought. Bokuto had a crush on you… He liked you.

Bokuto Koutarou, the ace of Fukurodani, liked you!

Between the awkward question you had been asked, one of the most important matches of your life happening in half an hour, and Tsukasa's screams that wouldn't stop, you couldn't think straight. 

Akaashi was observing you with a nervous little smile on his lips. He didn't say it but he was nervous about your reaction just like Bokuto was. The result of the match that Fukurodani was going to play, depended on the captain's moods; and for obvious reasons, your decision to accept or not his proposal too. Of course, Keiji wasn't going to force you to do something you didn't want to do, but deep inside of him, he wanted to take your hand and lead you on a date with Bokuto himself. 

“You can stop yelling now, Tsukasa” Akaashi exclaimed, pointing at Bokuto, who looked like a statue waiting for your answer. “I think it is better to leave them alone.”

“B-but…” Before Emiko could complain at Akaashi's request, he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the other side of the court.

Two minutes passed in silence and neither of you had opened your mouths yet. Bokuto was yet as a statue, while you were still red trying to find the words to answer his question. 

A question you've never been asked before by anyone.  

“I'm sorry!” Bokuto said, placing his hands on his face, trying to hide his blush. “It was precipitated. We've only known each other for a few days, you don't have to go out with me! I was stupid to think that a girl like you would date someone like me… With a girl like you, I mean someone so beaut- KIND! I am the stupid one, I am not enough for you. We can still be friends, right? Oh no, I screw it all, didn’t I? You hate me, don’t you? Sorry, sorry, sorry!”

Before Bokuto could continue to apologize and talk nonsense, you put a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. The red color from your face was already gone, and now a sincere smile was on it. You let out a giggle and removed your hand from his face.

“You don't have to say those things about yourself, Koutarou.” Hearing his name leave your lips, he blushed even more. “You are a great person, and you are not stupid. I'll go out with you… Only if you win the match.”

“You're welcome, Akaashi,” you thought.

Listening to your words, Bokuto started jumping from one side to the other. With his eyes asked your permission to hug you. When you understood his request, you nodded and opened your arms for him to surround you with his.

In the distance, Tsukasa's voice was heard shouting “AKAASHI LOOK! I'M A GENIUS!” Which made the two of you quickly stop hugging. 

“I'm going to win, I promise,” he said once the hug was over. “I will do it for you! Well, and to get to the finals too, of course.”

You nodded your head and then your captain yelled at Emiko and you to go warm up. Saying goodbye to Bokuto and Akaashi respectively, you went towards where your team was.

[...]

Shiratorizawa was already in the second set of the match against Yunokawa High School. You were losing despite you had won the first set. Even though you were playing well, the other team used every tactic and move to score points; which made them tire faster, but they were effective for now. You knew that at some point they were going to be exhausted by the end of the set. Even if they did win it, by the next they weren't going to be rested enough to be able to play as well as this one. 

There were still at least two sets to go since to win a semifinal the best of five was played and you had to win at least three of them to be the winner. 

Your team was playing like they always did. You did not want to waste energy as you were sure that you would win and play the final, so you would also need strength for that game as well.

Tendou and Ushijima cheered from the stands. More Satori than Wakatoshi, because his screams were heard much more than the protests of his friend that he made every time Shiratorizawa made a mistake. 

Instead, Bokuto and Akaashi were playing theirs right next to you. You had glanced at Fukurodani's match several times, and you saw how well Bokuto was playing. He smiled every time he made a point, and even sometimes watched you, to see if you were also watching him. Their match was progressing quite quickly and they were already in the third set, the first two won by the owls. They were already towards the end of the game, which meant that they almost could taste the victory and then move to the final. 

After watching as Bokuto scored again, you noticed Emiko was the next to serve. The point ended in nothing because the ball hit the net, thus ending the second set. Tsukasa started to apologize over and over again, and your teammates tried to comfort her. You just watched her and shook your head.

“Emiko, imagine that the net is my head,” you said pointing to the division between both sides of the court. Then you smiled. “If you hit it again, you are hitting me. Think about how I would feel, do you understand?”

Even though your words sounded almost like a threat, Emiko smiled and thanked you. Maybe your other teammates would feel horrible if you told them that, but you knew what Tsukasa was like, and you knew that if you found some way for her to relax, she could pass the net. This was a perfect way to do it: make her imagine that the net was you, her friend, and she didn’t want to hurt her friend, right?

The two teams began to play, and again you were losing. It was Tsukasa's turn to serve, and you looked at her pointing at your head with your hand.

“My head,” you said and then pointed to the net. “That is my head.”

Emiko nodded and walked a few steps behind the line that marked the limits of the court. 

As she jumped to hit the ball in her mind she repeated: “y/n’s head, y/n’s head, y/n’s head.” And after the ball passed the net, it quickly fell to the ground with great speed. It had been a direct point. And just like that, she scored ten more… Putting your team in the lead.

───∘°❉°∘───

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With the end of the Shiratorizawa and Fukurodani´s matches, Bokuto and Akaashi approached you to congratulate you on making it to the final… And also to claim his “prize”.

At the end of the third set, what you had anticipated had happened: Yunokawa's players were too exhausted to leave everything on the court, and since you still had a lot of energy, you increased your pace; weakening, even more, the rival team. 

When the owls got to where you and your three friends were, Emiko started looking at Bokuto and you, raising and lowering her eyebrows several times. Tendou and Ushijima looked at her strangely, since they did not know that Bokuto had asked you out.

“Tsukasa Emiko, you'd better calm down,” you said pointing a finger at her. “You will lose a friend if you don't.”

Emiko started laughing, while Tendou and Ushijima were still confused.

“Well, I kept my promise,” Bokuto said, taking a step forward. “When is our date?”

Satori let out a small gasp and tried to jump to hit the Fukurodani captain. Luckily, Emiko and Ushijima managed to hold him by his arms before he could. Wakatoshi was skeptical by the situation, but he didn't want anyone to get hurt. Even if it was someone who wanted to date HIS friend.

“Let me out!” shouted Tendou trying to get out of his prison of arms. “I'm going to kick his ass! Who does he think he is to date the sweet and tiny y/n! She’s our friend, we have to protect her!”

You were trying to calm Satori down, but he still wanted to beat Bokuto (and Akaashi as well), so you told Bokuto that you would plan your date by message after the finals ended. You were going to take Tendou to lunch so you could tranquilize him.

Of course, as Koutarou didn't want to be hurt he agreed, and with Akaashi they left along with his team.

“Satori, one day I'll kill you... I promise” you said dragging him by the ear out of the gym.

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Bonus: my friend asked me why did I name Tsukasa like that so here is the reason.

- If you’ve seen the anime “Plastic Memories” you might know why. The main character’s last name is Tsukasa and I loved him, so I decided to name her in honor of him.

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Heeey!! As I said last chapter I’ve been working on my next smau but I do not have a Love Interest yet. Sooo please complete this form below where you can chose whoever you’d like:

Mmilkbreadd’s new smau

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Thanks for the support!

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