#and I love you Only You (terrifying)

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

[bonefall]

(dif anon) So is Ashfur grooming Shadowsight a plotline you would keep/rework in BB? I'm not so keen on the way canon used it to retcon his epilepsy, but I do think a plotline examining how clerics can be vulnerable to abuse from StarClan spirits is kinda compelling

Shadowsight's epilepsy is staying in BB, the Erins can try and take it away again over my dead body

Yes, that's staying and BB!StarClan was reworked with unfairness in mind.

This time around, I'm considering the idea that Ashfur didn't work completely alone. After the events of Squirrelflight’s Horror, Silverpelt's divisons are starting to crackle the stars.

Skystar and the other more traditional spirits are losing patience with the peace that Fire Alone brings, and the ways that the code has been bent.

They feel that honor is being lost in their descendants.

Even angels disrespect the collective; see how Skypelt has its own heaven? With a demon in its midst? There is blasphemy even in the skies.

Firestar and the more modern pantheon are ferociously defensive of the choices of the living. StarClan exists for them; not the other way around.

Meanwhile, Mousefur has gone missing. Others start to blink out, too. This is causing panic... and Ashfur keeps it quiet that he's the only one who knows where they've gone.

The angels that plan action probably were a small group to begin with, radical spirits. Skystar and Ashfur are two of them, and Ash is the "youngest." So when he comes down to the mortal plane and betrays them, very few other angels knew what had happened.

(I might even have a few angels be doing the various supernatural things in that first book, but slowly, Ashfur is wittling down their numbers until it's just him.)

I'm still working out specifics, but the other angels that Ashfur has consumed are giving him a massive power boost. He can use this to jump between planes freely, and he's able to do some whacky things like weave dreams and pull nightmares out of the Dark Forest.

The most important unique power he has, which he can do ALL on his own once he's absorbed enough starpower, is blast Shadowpaw with a bolt of lightning. The electric current runs through Shadowpaw's brand new scar, giving him a connection to StarClan like he's a little radio tower.

Thing is... when StarClan is blocked off, the only signal he receives is Ashfur's.

So, Shadowpaw.

From the time he was very young, Shadowkit has had an unhealthy relationship to life and death

He watched a lot of cats die before he was old enough to really understand it, and the only one who came back was Heartstar.

His epilepsy was so severe it would have been terminal. He was prepared to die as a kit.

Tawnypelt took him to the Tribe to learn more about treatments, bringing back a method of refining chamomile to manage the convulsions.

When people come back from death, it was to serve "a purpose."

He feels like he needs to be special, like he needs to find the great meaning in his life. The reason why he's still here.

In BB, there can be guardian angels. Cats you knew in life who decide to watch out for you in the afterlife. Moleflight is Jayfeather's, Shrewface is Squirrelflight’s. Ashfur poses as Shadowpaw's.

THAT is how I plan to address my criticism. Ashfur DOES build a very personal, trusting relationship with Shadowpaw, pretending to be the one who's here to give him the destiny he craves. Pretending like he's someone looking out for him.

I actually LIKE how desperate the situation was in-canon and I want to stress how none of this was Shadow's fault, so I also plan to keep that they had very little choice. Shadowpaw trusts his angel completely, and Ashfur coaches him on saying all the right things.

The older Clerics are suspicious, but... what else can they do?

Also, instead of framing this all as something Shadowpaw needs to "atone" for, I'm going to make certain cats unfairly scapegoat him for bringing the Impostor into the forest. Shadowpaw himself agrees with them, blaming himself, but he has to learn it wasn't his fault.

He DIDN'T let anyone down by failing to live up to great expectations, and there's no way he could have known that Ashfur was using him. This never happened before, he always made the choice he thought was right and tried to make up for harm done, and he's not responsible for what his abuser made him do.

I actually want to have him figure out some of this by talking to DF demons, towards the end. Cats faaaar more responsible for what they did in life than him.

Ravenwing in particular, who was also mislead by a rogue StarClan spirit, but... ultimately decided that if StarClan was right in their judgement.

He was told (by Birchface, but he still doesn't know who it was in particular) to make three kittens unsafe by revealing their parentage. His choice killed three innocent children, and lead to the Queen’s Rights.

And StarClan was furious that he'd ever believe they'd want something so CRUEL.

And even if they DID want something so cruel... "Then they wouldn't have been ancestors worth following. And that's why I believe it's right that I'm here."

As a Cleric, he had authority on their behalf. And if they would misuse it through him, he wishes he could have just given it right back.

And Shadowsight's lightbulb goes Ding!

The very last thing Ashfur does in TBC, when the jig is up and he's about to be killed by the Lights in the Mist and a bunch of Demons who have come to defend their home, is swallow a Founder-- Skystar.

He takes the level of a true god, and reaches a nearly undefeatable level of power. Instead of black water, he's so large, malicious, and has a gravitational pull so massive it starts destroying the afterlife. It shatters the purgatory (Meadow of Young Stars) into floating cosmic fragments, and Heaven and Hell are set to collide.

Shadowsight confronts Ashfur, politely explaining that he's, well... done a lot of thinking, and, he doesn't really want what he gave him. "You can, uh, have this back!"

And blasts the lightning from his scar right back at him, like a chain, holding the screeching eldrich horror in place. Every ally he's made, here in the DF, come down from StarClan, and as Lights in the Mist, jump to his side. They can't hold down Ashfur, but they can hold SHADOWSIGHT

While they're all supporting him, Bristlefrost sees the one chance to get rid of him, once and for all. A clear shot. She bolts, pounces, and SHOOTS right into Ashfur like a falling star, knocking them both off the edge of the heaven he destroyed, burning up in orbit with a monster a hundred times her size.

And after that, Shadowsight has to go home and live with this.

He gave up the very connection that made him so special, and now he has to go back to being a Cleric without StarClan.

but the other Clerics accept this. They have to. They were all complicit in the choices that allowed the Impostor to rise.

What Shadowsight learns is... everyone was part of this. From those who made the follies with him, to the supporters and rebels against the impostor, to those who helped him realize his worth, to Bristlefrost who ultimately killed Ashfur.

He is valuable because living is valuable.

Everyone, and everything, matters. All cats have a role to play, and he was never alone.

I want to close him out in BB!TBC on a tea scene that parallels the various points in his life. Others used to prepare his chamomile treatments FOR him, in careful doses, because it is a very serious medicine. Now, at the end, he's the one brewing it.

A fully fledged Cleric, who realizes he's never been alone. Cats who love him were around him the whole time, making his medicine, and they'll love him even after he's given up his powerful gift. So now he's at the stage in his life where HE can make that medicine, share his wisdom with others, and find fulfillment in the skills he's acquired over a hard life brightening.

[scificrows]

Murderbot conducting weirdly specific data analysis on a random detail in its media storage... It's just like us for real!!

[puppetmaster13u]

Meat Marionette continues lol

I like to think that the baby robins' chitin and fur mimic exposed musculature, which would help them camouflage with the Hive, but they also have bright wing feathers as a warning. Similarly Bruce has a bright yellow pattern on his wings as a warning of hey, this big predator is venomous so back off.

Bruce's spikes can flatten like quills I think, so he can pick up things and people without worrying about accidentally stabbing whatever is in his hands. He's very careful even if Dick has the habit or leaping into his arms gives him mini heart attacks. Honestly that might be what makes him start carrying him (and the other kids) via his mouth and in the spine cavity.

Eventually Dick will grow and his chitin will darken to his Nightwing colors, but for now he's covered mostly in fine fur and feathers. Though if one looks closely at his wings they'll see there is membrane underneath said feathers. There's also hidden claws between the feathers too similar to Bruce's though less curved. He'll eventually get bigger and evolve more but for now he's a tiny buddy.

Even with Bruce's cavity, they do still have several bags full of supplies and even more hidden batarangs and other items hidden around the city. Mostly in areas one would need to be able to fly or have very long limbs to reach or even both. Bruce also of course deserves his cloak, long enough to shelter all of the kids, his own or otherwise.

Click on photos for a larger pic

pspspspsps @phoenixcatch7 I summon thee dear mutual for opinions <3

[lilaccatholic]

I am once again thinking about the reluctant ruler whose arc justly and correctly includes assuming the throne and taking responsibility for the people set before them

[whereismyhat5678]

I haven’t drawn Fake Peppino in AGES

For any Fake Peppino lovers out there that I’ve disappointed I’m so sorry- 💀🙇‍♀️

And for anyone WHO HASN’T EVER SEEN me actually draw him I’M EVEN MORE SORRY 🙏🙇‍♀️🙏🙇‍♀️🙏🙇‍♀️

Now I personally don’t want newer viewers seeing my cringe ass Fake pep art but if anyone who does wanna see it- (HEADS UP FOR INTENSE BODY HORROR-) take these few links (I’m sorry I can’t scroll through my entire blog again just take some examples- 🥲):

Here, here, here, here and here.

The first one is my first ever drawing of him, I did not draw him normal- 💀

Anyways….this means have I changed how I draw him? Yes!

Look at the silly goober!! I may draw him just like this for now however…It was fun drawing him like the slimy disaster he was but it’s fine-…It always took a bit of time to draw those 🤷‍♀️

But just for the fun of it, and for old times sake, take a body horror Fake Peppino: (Warning, it looks kinda bad- 💀)

[tennessoui]

silly soulmate au where everyone has the first words their soulmate said to them on their body somewhere and anakin’s are “excuse me sir, your shoelaces are untied” so he walks around with his shoes untied as a way of trying to bait life into giving him his soulmate

But one day he’s like super done with it and cranky after a bad day and someone taps his shoulder while he’s waiting at a crosswalk and says “excuse me sir your shoelaces are untied” and anakin snaps “your shoelaces are untied”

and obi-wan “afraid to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known enough to be loved” kenobi says “I’m not wearing shoelaces” kinda flabbergasted because he’s spent like 30 years wearing untieable shoes so no one can ever tell him “your shoelaces are untied” only to be thwarted by a beautiful, aggressive soulmate of a stranger

[autismserenity]

pretty please, my fellow progressives

Could we please all keep in mind that the concept of "The Jews In General, or A Specific Type Of Jew, Controls Education, Government, Media, and/or Banking", is a longstanding antisemitic trope?

And most of all, that it is false??

No, a marginalized group does not also control education, the government, the media, and/or banking?

No, Jews do not secretly control these things and just pretend to be marginalized? No, Jews have not secretly been accumulating power since the Holocaust, granted by too-generous gentiles, out of pity?

No, it isn't better if you just mean a specific subgroup or kind of Jews. It's still specifically Jews.

It's like when people who hate trans/queer people are fine with rich white cis gay men. So they think it's not bigoted to blame "people with blue hair and pronouns" for the downfall of society.

We all know this means, "I only see some of you as human like me. You have to speak and act a certain way to count. Everyone in your group has to pass a test to get into the Good group."

Doesn't work.

Sure, it gives them plausible deniability to the people who matter to them. But everyone else can see exactly how they feel.

We've all known for years that it's bad to think of a marginalized group as having some "good ones." Rein it the heck in, please.

Because YES, all of those examples are ones I've seen implied, or stated outright, over and over, within the progressive community. This month alone.

[in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene]

I think Slay the Princess is so popular partially because the *gets stabbed* "I'm in love" reaction is both intentional on the part of the developers and then they completely follow through on it.

[hella1975]

born to write fanfiction forced to go to pilates

[poppy5991]

I think why Endhawks is so cathartic for me is that you have two people who have been through a bunch of trauma and made fucked up choices because of it and are both terrified that deep down that they aren’t worthy of love, that they’ll end up alone, that they are inherently bad.

And they are trying, trying so hard to change, to be good, to be lovable.

And they accept each other so easily. Like yes I see you. I see you trying so hard. You’re not hard to love at all. You are a good person at heart and that’s why you try so hard. I won’t flinch away at the hard, sharp edges of you because mine fit together with yours.

And it hits me right in my trauma core.

I just love them. Anyway…

[flowercrowngods]

in which eddie has to deal with the horrible ordeal of being known and finds out that it’s okay to want to hug your boyfriend all the time. in fact, it’s encouraged | 1.4k

It’s torture. Frankly, it should be labelled nothing short of a war crime, psychological warfare, the bane of Eddie Munson’s very existence! There should be novels about this, reports, guides, brochures lying in some guidance counsellor’s office in some funky-ass colour that prevents anyone from actually taking one, let alone read it.

The point: Being with Steve, being anywhere near him, in his close vicinity, falling victim to the smile slowly spreading on his face or the way it makes his eyes twinkle, is torture. Torture! Really, it should be forbidden to look this godsdamn adorable, so fucking huggable.

Steve, for all intents and purposes, for all his very hot muscles and athleticism, for all his occasional glares and menacing tone, looks too fucking huggable for Eddie’s mind to keep up.

He loses track of time, loses his words, and most of his rings have a whole new purpose. Because these days, he spends most of his time keeping himself from hugging Steve at any given moment. From just attaching himself to Steve’s side and never, ever, ever letting go.

The Fates have decided to make it this boy’s duty, his calling, his godsdamn destiny, to look like he would look even better wrapped up in Eddie’s arms. And Eddie is not dealing well. In fact, he’s not dealing at all, because this is all so new to him.

He doesn’t know what’s allowed and what isn’t, what’s normal and what’s just Eddie being Eddie, what Steve wants and what he just allows. And it’s real scary sometimes.

Warm hands come up to encase his, and Eddie blinks back into that part of reality where Steve actually notices when he’s staring.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” he rasps, turning his hands in Steve’s so their palms are touching. It always makes Steve smile, and Eddie wants to explode. Maybe he will. He feels like that’s a very reasonable assumption at this point.

“Okay,” Steve says and nods, and the smile doesn’t falter, but Eddie gets to watch as Steve obviously works up the courage to say something.

So he waits. Holds his hands, his eyes, and also his tongue.

“I— This is not me complaining, okay. Please don’t think that, I am not mad and not complaining, Eddie, okay?”

Steve is waiting for him to react, and while Eddie’s heart has jumped into his throat and is racing in there now, he nods. He is rewarded for it when Steve lifts their joined hands to his lips and peppers the back of Eddie’s hands with kisses.

Gods, but he loves that boy so much it’s choking him right up.

“It’s just, sometimes I feel like… I worry that you’re holding back. Or, or hiding something. Yourself, most likely, but I don’t wanna say you’ve been untruthful or playing some game with me, it’s just… I don’t know. But. You’ll stare at me sometimes and fidget. Or sit on your hands. Or… I don’t know, but it looks like you’re physically restraining yourself from reaching out, or something, y’know? And you don’t gotta do that anymore. I’m here, Eds, and I want— I want you. Any way I can, but most of all I want you safe. And comfortable. And knowing that you don’t have to hold back, okay?”

For a moment there, Eddie’s world ends. Because Steve worries, Steve doubts, Steve knows Eddie is just playing some game at this life of his. He doesn’t actually know his next moves, doesn’t actually know when it’s okay to shut up or better to talk, when it’s okay to touch, to hold, to keep.

He got it all wrong. How does one make relationships work? When is it okay to kiss, to hug, to leave, to talk?

He keeps getting it wrong. And Steve knows.

“Don’t panic, my love, please,” Steve whispers, and there’s fear in his voice. “Stay with me.” Stay with me. It holds more meanings than one, because he remembers Nancy, remembers bullshit, remembers Steve’s fear of abandonment.

But Eddie is here, he’s here, he’s not leaving.

Now he’s the one raising Steve’s hands to his lips and keeping them there as he speaks.

“It’s stupid. You’re right, by the way, but it’s stupid.”

“What is it, Eds?”

A sigh, and then all the air has left his lungs, which makes speaking easier. “You know how I never had a boyfriend before, what with the dating pool in stupid fucking Hawkins being nonexistent, actually? Well, sometimes that makes things a bit… Difficult.”

He chooses his words slowly, trying to make sense of his scrambles thoughts as he goes.

“And being with you, it’s, it’s a lot, because—“ Steve is pulling back, and Eddie surges forward, keeping his hands, lacing their fingers now. “No, no, no, Stevie, now you have to stay, okay? Good. Kissing you is great. Wonderful. Best thing ever invented by humankind, actually. I’m pretty sure our forefathers have invented kissing just so you, Steve Harrington, could be handled appropriately. It’s the law, and all.”

Steve is laughing now, and it’s his ‘My boyfriend is ridiculous and he might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me’-laugh, which makes Eddie melt right off the couch. He’s joining Steve on the floor now, their knees touching, and he’s leaning forward, his forehead against Steve’s who lets it happen, who leans into him right back, who makes this all okay. His eyes are closed and he can pretend he’s not exposing his heart and soul right now.

“But sometimes, Stevie? Sometimes all I can think about is how much I wanna hug you. How much I wanna wrap my whole body around you and just exist. It’s not even about the kissing or the sex, and maybe that makes me a bad boyfriend? Pretty sure it does, yeah. But not an hour goes by where I don’t… yearn.”

The last word is usually only to be found in his D&D repertoire, and it’s so silent, so quiet that he hopes Steve didn’t catch it. That Steve doesn’t know its meaning.

But for once, no such luck.

“Eddie,” Steve whispers, but there’s an urgency in his voice, so very adamant to be heard yet so, so quiet. “Eddie, you can’t— can’t just say things like this. You yearn for me? The whole ‘I never wanna let you go’ thing?”

Eddie nods, a tad miserably.

“That’s… God, that’s the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. And you think that makes you a bad boyfriend? Honey, I think that makes you the love of my fucking life. And just so we’re clear, yeah? You can always hug me. Tackle me to the damn floor for all I care, but before that little speech of yours, I’d have bet you a nice sum of money that I’m the most touch starved person in Hawkins. Now, turns out that might be you, but that’s fine because I’m here, lovely, and I’m yours. That means you can go ahead and—”

Whatever it is that Steve wanted to say gets lost in the void, because Eddie does what he just got express permission for: He tackles Steve to the floor, gently, and lies down on top of him, his arms around his laughing boyfriend who winds his arms around Eddie in turn like that’s exactly where he belongs. Maybe it is.

Maybe it’s not torture, being with Steve. But maybe it’s the best thing that has ever happened to Eddie.

Robin sometimes talks about stuff like this and calls it The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known. And Eddie wants to agree, he does. Especially when it comes to things like this, because it’s terrifying, petrifying, nauseating to talk to Steve about himself. Steve Harrington, who sees when he looks, who tries to understand and make everything just a bit better.

Intimacy. Honesty. Sincerity is scary.

But it also means he gets to be himself, it means he gets to hold his boyfriend in his arms and just breathe him in, just listen to his heartbeat and let everything about that moment ground him. It means he gets to shut up his asshole boyfriend when he says, “I knew you only liked me for my body.” Eddie kisses him senseless, and then that is that.

The horrible ordeal of being known is not quite so horrible when it means he gets to have his Stevie like this and feel better, safer, happier than ever.

for @bethespark who asked for fluff but me being me, i can only give you this :/ one day. one day i will write you fluff

[chloecherrysip]

Mario watching his and Luigi's commercial in Punch-Out Pizzeria

[itsamenickname]

I don’t know about you guys, but I absolutely love the idea of Bowser being the most fearsome creature in the entire galaxy to the point where he can very easily scare anyone into giving him what he wants because he is just so scary and terrifying.

And yet, when it comes to Luigi, a shy and cowardly little plumber, it is actually Bowser who is the more nervous one.

[puppetmaster13u]

Oh boi even more of One au in like 3 hours lol

I like to think that like how in @phoenixcatch7's Doll au there's gas versions of like cures and such in the batfam's gas masks since they don't need to breath when possessing the puppets right? I like to think there's an organic version of that with the meat puppet bodies, at least with Bruce, where the plates on his neck opens up into vents of sorts, pictured here with a few spikes removed for visibility reasons.

This gas could be some cures for like Joker venom & Fear gas and such, or it could also be sedatives, paralytics, could even vary between each member. (For example in the Cryptidverse Steph has Anesthetics on her claws, Jason has reflective powder that mimics embers/sparks, Cass has paralytics, etc). Honestly I am just brainstorming so this could definitely change lmao

I do like to think they start developing their own venom though, gotta' have those fangs & tusks for some reason lol

[theswedishpajas]

💙🌌💀🌌💙