#and I wish I could just leave already

[tiny-space-robot]

y´all wanna read some vent? no? well here we go

on new years, my father kept on pressuring me to talk about my mental health, because I keep spontaneously crying. and I kept saying no, because I genuinely do not want to talk about it. especially not to him.

but he kept on and on and on. mind you, he was once again drunk off his a** while doing so.

eventually, the mandatory family “””celebration””” was finally over, my siblings left and I was able to retreat back to my room

but then my father just bursts in and I have a verbally violent argument with him where he kept screaming at me to talk and at that point, I was convinced he was going to actually strike me if I don´t give in. but I kept denying, eventually starting to cry again, out of anger this time

that´s when HE started crying and begging me to just talk, which is when I gave in (because my father is usually very non emotional. hell, the only emotion he shows every day is anger) so of course, seeing him cry affected me

so I told my parents everything, from my crippling anxiety to the thoughts of su*cide

and you want to hear what happened then?

as if I f*cking pressed a button, that manipulative piece of garbage IMEDIATELY stopped crying. because he got what he wanted from me. I talked.

and even though I told him that I feel like deleting myself would be a better option than to keep going through everything I suffer through, he just puts his arm around me, no longer crying, and tells me “don´t worry, you don´t need to kill yourself.” and he says it so nonchalantly, as if I told him I have the flu.

and he says “dont kill yourself, because I need you here.” and he didn´t say it in a “my own child killing themselves would destroy me” sorta way. no. he said it as if he meant “you belong to me. I want you to stay here in this house forever. because you are my child and therefore my property.”

and then he just? let me go back to my room. alone. without any other word.

and as I sat there on my bed, with a boxcutter literally right next to me. I thought ´there is nothing stopping me from ending myself right here right now´

but, you know, thankfully I didn´t. I spoke to my partner and then went to sleep.

the next day, I woke up to my mother making sure I was okay. she even brought me a lot of my favorite candies and snacks and told me how much it shocked her to hear me say all that.

my father though? not another word. as if nothing ever happened.

in fact, he went right back to yelling at me about trivial sh*t like he always does.

and well, even though my mother is also back to acting like nothing was said now, at least she gave a sh*t. at least she acted like an actual mother who possesses empathy and tries her best even though she doesn´t understand mental health.

so yes, I am not doing okay. I am very damaged, but I at least learned that, even though my mother doesn´t understand mental health, she still at least tries to.

and I also learned that my father is much much worse than I always thought and that he doesn´t deserve to be called my father

[chase-ing-shadows]

AU where Atreus gets stuck as a bear and him and Sindri have to go on a brother bear style adventure to make him human again.

also open to the idea that this happens after Ragnarok and this is the story of how Atreus and Sindri reconnect

[extra-somethin-somethin]

good ending! gay love pierces through the veil of death yet again✌🏼

something something man is god to a dog ft. kuwameshi

I'm Your Man, Mitski

[chrollohearttags]

not even to wake up in a haterrific mood on such a beautiful morning but I feel like I gotta say something. Especially when I’ve been seeing a multitude of posts critiquing black writers and seeing so many of amazing moots leave. (and reminder that the anon button is OFF so you will argue with the wall or get that ass cussed out publicly, your choice. And if you feel brave enough to come to my DM’s, I got something there for you too 🤗 so feel free) but I am so so so SICK of seeing these very unnecessary and annoying standards being placed on black writers. I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again that the goalpost keeps moving for us. It went from the toxic, plug, sneaky link, etc fics are harmful and damaging to us as black women to now I’ve had the displeasure of seeing that modern AU’s in general are problematic and we should write more canon AOT stories (I wish I was making this up). Don’t know about you but I want no parts of that depression fest. Especially because the ONE black person was basically observed like some type of mystical being. I’ll pass on the whole ‘why does your hair feel like that’ and a handmade’s mammy tale of tending to a war criminal’s wounds in a jail cell. Regardless, all of this is rooted in a respectability and projection issue. Because as I’ve said before, none of these critiques started until the TikTok girls started publicly bashing black writers and using them as a ploy to get views because doing it to other groups who write the SAME tropes with a “digestible” packaging would’ve gotten them backlash. So as does everyone on this hellscape of a planet, they use black women as a punching bag and laughing stock to garner engagement. Now you’ve got an influx of people regurgitating these same things and making others feel bad for what they write. I’ll be honest, a lot of these tropes/stories that I see, they’re not exactly my niche, mainly because I don’t smoke, I don’t do parties and stuff like that so I can’t resonate with it (don’t come at me, I got asthma and social anxiety, bitch 😭) but that doesn’t make me love/wanna read them any less. I love seeing different perspectives and being in another set of shoes for a while. There’s nothing wrong with that because as long as black women/enbies are happy and confident in what they write and it’s not causing harm, I’m going to support ten toes down because we need representation, we need that community and I’ll be damned if I turn my nose up in the air at anyone just trying to express their creativity. What I WON’T support is a bunch of hateful, nasty spirited shrews parading around in clean girl cosplay and bashing others to be seen as acceptable and ‘one of the good ones.’ Not liking smut doesn’t make you a better reader/writer, not liking modern AU’s and ‘overused’ tropes doesn’t make you some prophetic, divine person and sitting up in anons and on the dash, reporting fics because YOU personally don’t like them doesn’t make you superior. And running everyone else off of here won’t make your writing any better. What does it make you is a loser, a cornball ass bitch and a lazy bum. Because the energy you exert into being haters, you can simply open a Google doc or draft on here and write what fulfills you. Be the change you want to see in the world or whatever they say. Also, a lot of us ARE writing these very scenarios you all are claiming you want to see. We can also see the notes count in comparison to the ones being deemed so horrible so again? You as the consumer determine what’s popular and not. We’re only going to write what’s going to be seen. Anyways, black women/femmes/enbies, I love you. I love your stories, I love your portrayals of our favorite characters whether they’re a drug dealer or a doctor, I love seeing y’all on my dash and I hope that you continue to grow in your writing journeys. I hope that you write what brings you joy and block out all the bullshit. Stay safe and have a wonderful weekend! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[nikki-rook]

Amazing moments becoming only memories gives a sad sinking feeling

[ganondoodle]

i really like tumblr bc despite its reputation i get way less annoying people being clowns on my posts on tiwtter i can mention literally anything i dont like about totk and you bet theres some guy that either gets really salty about me not worshipping the game like a god that can do no wrong or straight up get mad about what they IMAGINED i said

[natreads]

I got a job as a bookseller!!!

[okkennymay]

Commission for @riverclanning + A lil bonus sketch

I struggled with consistency with ‘ol Randy here, I do hope I did your Older!Randy Cunningham justice River! 😤 (and if I didn’t here’s a bonus sketch! UvO””)

[derpinette]

i miss going to school because i always knew everybody's business but nobody knew mine due to being a huge loser. & it ruled

[daesungindistress]

[closed]

[chamiryokuroi]

Absolutely bored out of my mind at the office 🫠

[steviescrystals]

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

[yuukimiyas]

hello hello sweet friends in my phone!! ໒꒰ྀིㅅ´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა & a v happy weds to you!! <33 i hope may has been showing you sm love so far & that the magic continues throughout the month!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ have the best day EVER!!

[bisan-is-trying]

My grandma got out of the hospital and all she wants is to sleep and rest but noooooo people need to visit and check on her which is okay i get it youre trying to show that you care but you dont have to stay for three freaking hours , 10 minutes is more than enough, she’s over 90 and shes sick of this

[byemizumikahago]

Mizumi deleted the AO3 version of her anti-komahina essay.

I can tell by cross-referencing it to other places where she posted the essay, like on reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/danganronpa/comments/x80ksb/why_komahina_and_kamukoma_isnt_canon_and_never/

She first posted the essay in early September of 2022. However, as you can see in the screenshot, there is a large gap in-between other fics she posted, indicating either a long hiatus between posting, or the deletion of something that came out in-between it.

As of this point, I haven't been able to guess exactly why she deleted it. One answer I've come up with is that she finally listened to all the people telling her to stop posting in the komahina tag, but that's hard to believe, given how badly Mizumi still tries to defend that choice to this day.

But the AO3 version of the """essay""" isn't the thing I'm actually interested in. Rather, it's the comments ON the essay I wanted to see.

I made a post a while ago that contained screenshots of @officially-christy breaking off her friendship with mizumi. That conversation took place ON mizumi's ao3 essay, and now, with the essay deleted, it's no longer possible to actually SEE the comments themselves.

But that's not all. Mizumi made two posts on reddit, this one, and this one, about one or some of the comments she received on her ao3 essay. But now, tracking down the source of what she's talking about is practically impossible. Take for example, the second reddit post. A bingo card of all the insults she allegedly received on the essay. Without links or screenshots of these comments, how does she expect anyone to trust her and take her word seriously when she doesn't even have the sources to back up her claims?

Or with the first reddit post. How are we supposed to find that commenter's account and click on their profile to see if they're an actual person (cuz, yeah, some people in fandoms ARE crazy enough to fake having DID), OR just a sock-puppet/Mizumi's friend made for the express purpose of farming internet pity points? (especially since you can make a valid case for the commenter talking with the same speaking style as mizumi; same poor grammar and spelling, same feeling of superiority to others, etc.)

This is just one problem with mizumi; how willing she is to just... delete her old content, without bothering to back it up or archive it. It's such a waste, especially since it makes it impossible to actually track down and debunk/verify her claims of being "harassed and insulted" (Although, given mizumi's track-record, I highly doubt any of the people in the comment harassed/insulted her, and am more willing to believe it was the other way around, but, oh well, looks like we'll never know).

If anyone out there has a link to an archive of the ao3 version of the essay, comments and all, then please let me know so I can update you all on it.

And Mizumi, if you're reading this (I know you lurk on this blog), I'm only gonna say this once: if you actually want other people online to believe your claims of being harassed or whatever, then STOP DELETING THINGS THAT WILL ACTUALLY HELP YOU BACK UP SAID CLAIMS WITH SOURCES!

[thedeadthree]

-`. WHATS YOUR OCS ROLE IN A TRAGEDY?

TAGGED BY @nightbloodraelle, @detectivelokis, @chuckhansen, @gwynbleidd, @corvosattano, @shellibisshe, @leviiackrman, @minaharkers, @marivenah and @socially-awkward-skeleton to take this loveliest uquiz for a few dears! ty ty so much!

TAGGING: @feystepped, @risingsh0t, @griffin-wood, @jendoe, @marivenah, @shadowglens, @queennymeria, @denerims, @jackiesarch, @unholymilf, @kingsroad, @gelvaan, @nokstella, @girlbosselrond, @rosebarsoap, @malefiicarum, @phillipsgraves, @aelyosos, @calenhads, @florbelles, @aartyom, @50sjello, @heroofpenamstan, @themysteriouslou, @noonfaerie, @jacobseed, @blissfulalchemist, @adelaidedrubman, @aceghosts, @loriane-elmuerto and you!

MISUNDERSTOOD VILLAIN

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

DESPERATE NARRATOR

this story is a cycle, and you're spinning around it like a hamster in a ball being tormented by a cat. you know how this story ends. after all, you've told it a thousand times. but you try to change it every time. you love the people in this story more than anything. so watching them fall victim to the narrative breaks you in a way you can't begin to describe. but all you can do is tell the story── their story── with tears in your eyes. you're prone to anxiety and feelings of helplessness. you have so much love in your heart, and for once you wish it would change something. it didn't. it doesn't. it won't. but you refuse to stop telling the story. and you refuse to stop loving the people in it. in this way, no one is stronger than you. you just wish being strong hurt less.

UNASSUMING EXTRA

you had maybe 3 lines but you will forever own my heart. you play a very minor role, one often forgotten about (not by me tho bby, i'll love you forever). however, your significance in the story is pretty big. something about you propels the story forward in a way no one else can do. you tend to blend into the background, and you probably like it that way. you want a simple life, free from the drama of the main characters. unfortunately, your story is almost always cut short. your role is usually a death that kickstarts the plot. going unnoticed did not save you, but it probably did bring you some peace of mind.

TORTURED LOVE INTEREST

you're so hot. sorry about the horrors. you're the kind of person people immediately notice. whether you have a distinct style, are more outgoing, or are just plain beautiful, you make an impression. people usually feel the need to protect you, which probably frustrates you to no end. you're not weak! you're not fragile! you're not helpless! but the people in your life tend to disagree. maybe it's your lover, the protagonist, trying to keep you out of their own turmoil. maybe it's someone responsible for you in some way, keeping you away from your lover, while they head down an increasingly dark path. regardless, all you really want is a sense of autonomy! unfortunately, you're very likely to die before that happens. the audience will be so caught up in the grief your death causes the protagonist that they forget to grieve you as a person. you deserved better, but unfortunately this is not your story. maybe it should have been.

SWEET SUPPORTING CHARACTER

i wanna be your grandma so bad, please let me pinch your face and knit you a sweater. you're most likely the best friend of the protagonist, and there's some possible overlap between you and the narrator. you're sweet and try very hard to be selfless. you watch the ones you love descend into darkness, and make every effort to help them through it all. it's not enough. you keep trying to make it enough. you provide comic relief, a listening ear, a hug, advice── any method of support you can think of. your own personal tragedy isn't documented. sometimes you wish it was, even though you're the one who ensures it is not. you want people to care for you the way you do for others. but you refuse to ask for it, so you wait for others to read between the lines. they usually don't. at least you're the one who gets to survive the tragedy. no matter how many times you beg to trade places, it is always you at the end, sitting at someone else's grave.

BOLD PROTAGONIST

you're the star of the show, baby! and boy does that come with a lot of emotional turmoil. you have a seemingly endless supply of determination. whether you have a lot of goals, or one big one, you're constantly working towards it. you're pretty restless, and struggle with imposter syndrome and generally feeling like you should be doing more. your insecurity might not be immediately obvious to others, however, as you come across as very strong and bold. vulnerability is not your strong suit, and that's likely to be your downfall. if only you had just let people in, and asked for help... well, maybe this was always gonna be a tragedy.