#and I’m so confused as to who the hell could’ve written it like what???

[hightowres]

GUYS THE WEIRDEST THING HAPPENED

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

This might be rather vague, but could I request a Bucky fic based around the sentence “please don’t make me lie to you”?

The Truth » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader with Steve Rogers/Captain America and Sam Wilson/Falcon

Summary: Bucky tells you the truth about who he really is.

Warnings: mix of Fluff and Angst, language, crying, kissing, use of pet names

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵 also I imagined this took place during Captain America: Civil War.

Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.

“Can one of you explain what the hell just happened?” You say, looking at Steve and Sam.

Steve and Sam looked at each other before looking back at you. Steve desperately wanted to tell you, but it’s not his place to say. You kept looking at them, waiting for one of them to say something. Your attention was quickly turned to Bucky when he groaned as he started to wake up.

“Bucky, baby.” You immediately went over to him and hugged him.

“Doll…” Bucky wrapped his right arm around your wand held you against him. “Steve…” He looks up at Steve.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve asks.

“Your mom’s name is Sarah and you used to wear newspaper in your shoes.” Bucky says.

“Can’t read that in a museum.” Steve says.

“Like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam says.

“What did I do?” Bucky asks, looking at Sam.

“You didn’t do anything, baby.” You say, caressing his stubbly cheek.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Steve spoke up.

“Buck, does she know?” Steve asks him.

“Know what?” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “What’s he talking about, babe?” You asked, looking at Bucky.

Bucky looked down, feeling ashamed that he never told you the truth about who he really is.

“You never told your girl?” Sam says.

“Sam…” Steve warns. “We’ll give you two some time alone.” He says, walking away with Sam following behind him.

You and Bucky were left in silence. Bucky couldn’t look you in the eye. He was nervous to tell you the truth and he hoped that he didn’t have to tell you, but here you guys are. Bucky kept this from you for a reason and that’s to protect you and cause he loves you so much.

“Bucky, what were your friends talking about?” You asked.

Bucky was quiet for a moment longer before he looked at you.

“Please don’t make me lie to you.” He says, his voice cracking.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.” You say.

Bucky took a deep breath before saying anything.

“I’m the Winter Soldier.” He flat out said.

“Who or what is the Winter Soldier?” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“Me.” He repeats. “These people called HYDRA found me the Alps in the 40s, gave me a metal arm, and trained me to become an assassin for them.” He explains.

You took a step back, trying to process what Bucky just said.

“Babydoll, say something.” He says, his eyes tearing up.

“All this time, I thought you were someone who showed up on my doorstep injured for almost a year ago when you possibly could’ve killed me.” You say.

“No!” He quickly said. “I would never hurt you. I would never forget myself if I did hurt you. You have to believe me.” He says.

You faced away from him and walked away from him. Bucky managed to get his metal arm free and follow you. He gently grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You shout, yanking your arm out of his grip.

Bucky took a step back, not wanting to make you more mad than you already are.

“You really think I would hurt you?” Bucky asks.

“I don’t know what to think anymore, Bucky.” Your eyes teared up. “We’ve been dating for almost a year and you’re just now telling me the truth about who you really are.” You say.

Tears rolled down your cheeks. You didn’t want to cry and look weak in front of Bucky, but you couldn’t help it. It’s like a dam broke loose. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him as you cried in his arms, your tears soaking his henley.

“I love you more than anything, doll. Please know that.” Bucky says in a whisper.

“I know.” You sniffled, looking up at him. “I love you too.” You say, looking in his beautiful blue eyes.

Bucky’s right hand caressed your cheek, his thumb softly rubbing against your skin. He leaned down and kissed you passionately. Your lips moved in sync with his.

“Please don’t leave me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He says, pulling away from your lips.

“I’m not.” You whispered. “I love you too much to leave you.” You kissed his lips. “Don’t ever keep the truth from me again.” You say.

“I won’t. I promise.” He says against your lips.

Steve and Sam walked in the room at the wrong time.

“Sorry to break up your moment, but if we’re going to do this, we need a plan.” Steve says.

“I know a guy.” Sam says, looking at Steve.

“Count me in.” You say.

From then on out, Bucky told you the truth about everything. No matter how bad his past was, he still told you. He loves you too much to lose you.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[stararch4ngelqueen]

Sheer Irony

(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)

—

Time written- 5:58 p.m

Titans!Jason Todd/fem!reader angst/fluff (TW: Suicide Mention/Attempt)

—

A faint breeze blows along your cheeks as you open the door, eyes glazing over a broad horizon full of dreary skies and rooftops. You find who you’re looking for standing ontop of a metallic platform framing along the edge of the building, his downturned head peering down at the dense, vacant streets below.

A long, harsh, catastrophic drop with just the wrong step.

Confusion rattled your mind when you wondered exactly what the hell was going on, never seeing such a trifling event happen in the common area. Millions of questions followed once you heard the screaming.

A million more followed suit when you walked in on the hostile environment, the air thick with static tension.

“You people are insane!” He had cried out by the second you entered the room, surprised to find a short crowd of people against him. Friends, colleagues, all glaring at him with accusations you didn’t fully hear.

“I’d rather be with Deathstroke than you assholes,” Jason states with an emotional quiver in his tone, growing more detectable towards the end of his words. “You think everything’s my fault.”

“Jason?” You call out to him, seeing his head lightly peek over his shoulder. Whether he heard you or not, he knew you arrived once the door was slammed shut behind you due to the wind.

“What do you want?” He asks with understandable bitterness wrapped up in a solemn tone, as if you were a stranger he could’ve cared less about.

Technically, you and Jason were colleagues for a long time, but never really reached the category of friends.

He was an obnoxious, painfully reckless Robin, but he was good. You were good, training yourself to set your differences aside to put the tasks at hand. You provided data, not violence.

The task now was to set those barriers of yours down with intentions to knock on his.

“To talk.” You reply, not wanting to approach further than you had to, but a huge part of you wanted to go further.

“Look. I don’t wanna hear any more bullshit—“

“Not about that,” you insist. “Just to talk, that’s all.”

To talk, to buy time. Anything.

Waves of guilt coursed through your veins for him, for his safety. The strong winds could easily sweep him off his feet if he allowed it, the tension in his braced legs preventing him from slipping off the ledge he stood on for now.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Jason states, his lungs burning with reach trembling breath he took. “The others think you’re crazy following me out here.”

“I don’t care what they think,” was your response, rooftop gravel crunching underneath your shoe as you took a slow step forward. “I don’t want you to be alone out here. That’s what matters.”

“Why?” He questions, refusing to turn around and face you with full disbelief on his face. “You hate me. You can’t stand me every time I’m around. No one can.”

“That’s not true,” you shake your head, slowly getting yourself to take another step forward. About four feet of distance remained between you and Jason, your mind cluttered with ideas on how to get him

“Jason, I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t need to lie to me,” Jason mutters, not believing you for a good second. You understood that he wouldn’t trust anyone after what you witnessed. You didn’t want to be on that side.

The steel frames were tall enough for you to hop up yourself, but the height was unnerving.

He remained quiet, pondering his rancid emotions running nonstop in his head. He felt himself nothing but poison; black pitch that stuck to everyone who so much as touched him, costing their skin like a cancer until it killed them.

That’s what was happening now, wasn’t it? Everyone was hating him, blaming him for things he didn’t understand. Now, here you were, coming up to add onto the pile. He assumed that on the spot. Why else were you here?

Bracing your hands along the beam, you push yourself up on it, fighting back your fear of heights to put yourself into this vulnerable position. Thinking slowly, you ponder over what else you could do, thinking over in your mind.

“Wanna sit?” You say, hoping he’d take the hand that offered such an innocent suggestion. “Talking is easier to do when sitting.”

To show this, you move into a sitting position beside him, feeling a little less tense on your concerns for falling. Jason doesn’t take the bait at first, only wondering as to why you were still even trying with him.

“You don’t need to be here,” he reverberates, but you weren’t going to have it.

“Neither do you,” you glanced up at him, seeing his attention fully focused on you, sitting beside him as of the ledge was just an every day public park bench.

Reluctantly, he shifts his position, leaving you to thank the Gods. With Jason sitting, you had much better control and opportunity to catch him, with the roof behind you to break both your fall.

“Do you want the truth?” You hesitantly ask, wondering if that’s what he needed. Someone who didn’t follow the others, who didn’t view him as a scapegoat to their problems, just because the unintentional category he fell into without realizing.

Just a glance of his bruised face in your direction after staring ahead for so long gave you the sign, smoothing your sweaty palms over thighs.

“You can be… obnoxious sometimes,” you proceed, slowly making the decision to proceed. “But not dark, or annoying, or… Look. I don’t get why they accused you on the spot. I really don’t.”

Silence continued to rattle his physique. His shifting head slowly peering downwards after hearing your words. His heartbeat began drumming in his head, his lungs burning with an irritated sting, his throat going dry.

“I might not like how you are, Jason,” you blatantly confess, “But I tolerate you enough to understand that you didn’t deserve this.”

There it was. Catching him off guard by cold facts, only to soothe the blow with truth. Your truth, the truth that should matter.

Not everyone was against him.

A part of him appreciates it, but at the same time, he grew irritated at your persistence to tell him what he already knew. It only made his feelings for you that much harder to understand.

He was supposed to not like you.

You were smart, yes. You popped one liners when you helped relay information to the Titans, read books and kept journals by yourself during your free time, and listened to music when you were in desperate need of relief after plenty of audible overstimulation.

The way you had your hair styled on different days, your persistence of spraying perfume on yourself before going to bed.

You weren’t loud, you weren’t overtly quiet. You respected business and boundaries, despite your job to hack and defy the purpose of them behind a computer screen.

He hated how unique yet simple you were. No one would suspect you of your talents, balancing your double life with little to mo effort.

“You don’t deserve this, Jason,” you say in order to remind him, watching his calloused fingers slowly flexing in his lap, signifying his various difficult emotions. You’d say it as many times as you needed to, to ram it into his every day thoughts.

“I don’t hate you,” you shake your head, peering at his battered, slowly healing face. “And… maybe I don’t entirely hate just how annoying you are. Sometimes, it makes things fun on a boring night.”

The corner of his busted lip rose in a faint, subtle smile. That made an interesting amount of sense. Maybe he was the type to irritate you on purpose, especially during his much earlier days.

His much earlier, flirtier Robin days.

“How annoying?”

Maybe, just maybe, being his friend didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

“Horribly,” you instantly reply as it became your turn to smile. “I mean it. Every day I wake up and dread what stupid thing you’d say next. What could you possibly say today for me to cringe at.”

If the both of you weren’t sitting on the edge of a building, Jason would have half a heart to nudge you with his shoulder. But, he knew your fear of heights.

“You think of me?”

“It’s hard not to, Jay.”

—

“Did I miss a party?” You announce as you enter the dark, gloomy hallway, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of two tall men talking to one another. A pile of unconscious bodies explaining their rigorous treatments just moments before you arrived.

“You missed the fun,” Jason chides, an amused smirk quickly growing on his face. The first full bodied smile Tim had seen on Jason since they met.

“A little earlier, you coulda joined in on your kickass computer skills.”

“Oh, ha ha,” you say, catching sight of Jason’s said laptop abandoned on the ground, bits of broken glass hinting at an unsalvageable screen. “Looks like someone beat me to it already.”

“It’s you.” Tim’s voice makes your head raise, giving the man a smile as you take in his Robin uniform.

“It’s me,” you reply, feeling a nostalgic flutter in your chest upon seeing that uniform worn by someone new. “I see Dick passed on the torch. How’s it feel?”

“He’s learning fast,” Jason gestures with a raised finger before pointing towards the bodies. “Very fast.”

“I see that.”

Ever since you had made the choice to step back from your position with the Titans a while back, life had gotten more chaotic in very unexpected ways.

You changed; in heart, in mind, in maturity.

You’ve grieved your best friend’s death, silently took pleasure in violent justice in the deaths of those who’ve betrayed and harmed your colleagues. You grieved once more when masks were unveiled, and even aided the wrong crowds for a while.

At your age, you’ve seen it all, you’ve learned from other peoples mistakes, as well as your own. You hated it, but accepted the lessons learned. As off as that sounds, that’s the best way you could describe it.

You kept in touch with Dick when he needed the help from the ‘attractive computer geek,’ so you were at least aware of what was going on. Hearing it all from Tim’s perspective brought back the times when you used to work alongside a particular ex-Robin, who remained standing close to your side during all topics of discussion.

“I got to meet the great Red Hood,” you watched with a smile a few steps up on the staircase as Tim prods Jason’s chest in a friendly manner, causing a flare in his ego as he chuckles in response.

“Don’t forget her,” Jason gestures his head up towards you, Tim’s eyes catching the faint flush in your cheeks.

“Poor girl’s kept us from running around with our heads cut off for years.”

“Always gotta respect the tech workers,” Tim agrees with a nod, making you scoff in amusement. “At least you didn’t call me ‘customer support’. That’s Grayson’s favorite.”

You said you were leaving when Tim was considerate to offer you a ride, but you brush off that you had your own, intending to head out for a date in two hours.

But, you weren’t.

The Titans, old or new, didn’t need to know all your secrets, regardless if cracking them was your specialty.

“You gave him your bike?” You ask once he gets off the phone with said old bird, approaching him as he gazed up at a clear board with various equations scrawled on the surface.

“Just sits there getting dust in the corner. I trust him to take care of it.” Jason sips at his dark drink once more before trailing off to the side, setting the bottle down.

“Still on for tomorrow night?” Jason asks, watching smile form on your face. The date. It was kinda true.

“Of course. Just came by to get my lipgloss.” You smirk, raising up your cherry flavored lip product you had to fetch from under his bed where it had rolled. “Forgot it here last night, remember?”

“How could I ever.” Jason replies with a lowered rumble, recalling all the memories of the night prior, involving getting sticky, glittery cherry gloss along his lips, leaving remnants of it smeared on his neck after a very short, sexually tense conversation.

“Kinda thought you’d wear a scarf when you showed up,” he teases as he approached, amused at your eye roll.

“I don’t do scarves, Todd,” you state, feeling it harder to fight off a smile. Your hands ease off your hips to settle across Jason’s broad shoulders.

“Whatever you say, shortcake.”

By now, you should take up a job at being a makeup counter girl, especially considering how well you managed to cover up your hickies over the span of many, many months.

Your nose lightly brushes with his, his lips merely missing yours on purpose, planting a single kiss on the corner of your mouth before holding you closer, your hips smugly fitting into his hands.

You were a breath of fresh, rainstorm air after a dark storm, your perfume clinging to his clothes for days.

“Was thinkin’,” he murmurs. “We’d try to reenact last night for our date night.”

“Hmm, with a different flavor?”

“You taste a lot better without it.”

You giggle, settling your hands along his back to keep secure in this comforting embrace.

“You think of me like that?” The words softly leave your lips.

He smiles down at you, his eyes full of warmth and comfort in your presence, cradling your right cheek after fixing a bit of your hair. He can’t help but shift attention to your pretty lips; perfect petal soft skin that displayed the prettiest of smiles to his god awful humor.

“It’s hard not to, babe.”

[3xiles]

Sweet lies part two

Pairing •Toji x gn!reader

Warnings• Angst!, Cheating, suggestive (they like lowkey make out), manipulation, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!, Cursing. Lmk if i forgot any!

Word count • 1079 words

A/n • I had this pre written ever since i put out the first part but was so hesitant on posting it LMAO! Enjoy! Masterlist is pinned!

You knew life after the honeymoon phase was rough but nothing could’ve prepared you for the drastic switch in you and Toji’s relationship. About two months the after you guys got married is when you realized the mistake you made. Your days went from him coming home from work and showering you with affection to him coming in with an inaudible hello. You were confused on what you could be doing wrong. He was coming home to a clean house with food on the table, a bath prepared and you all dolled up for him, just how he liked it. This went on for months and throughout those months he’s just been coming home later and later. The man who was once coming home every day at five now walking through the front door as late as ten at night. It didn’t bother you until your 26th birthday.

You woke up excited to celebrate your first birthday as a married woman. For your birthday last year Toji went all out so you couldn’t help but let your expectations be high! Toji wasn’t there when you woke up, which was normal because he usually leaves extremely early in the morning. You spent your day pampering yourself to the max, expecting to maybe go out later. Soon enough five o clock rolls around. You sit pretty and patient on the couch, telling yourself he’s just running a little late. You wait… and you wait.. sending text after text to your husband every hour.

Hubby💍❤️

5:30pm

Y/n: Hey babe coming home soon?

6:15

Y/n: Toj idk what you have planned but i’m super excited! see you soon❤️

7:23

Y/n: Hey is everything okay??

8:54

Y/n: Hello?

9:46

Y/n: Toji it’s almost 10 where are you?

10:27

Y/n: Toji?

You send your last text with tears falling from your eyes. You hate to think he forgot your birthday. It can’t be. He just got caught up in something. It has to be. You check the time one last time. 11:03. You then tell yourself you need to go to bed. As you stand up from the couch the door opens and the man you’ve been waiting for finally shows. You do nothing but stare at him, tears mixed with mascara running down your puffy cheeks. “The hell happened to you?” he says, taking off his shoes, tie, and blazer. He begins to unbutton his shirt, purple marks adorning his chest. That was in that moment when something in you just… snapped.

“Toji, what is today?” you slowly walk towards him. He shrugs, scratching the back of his head. “Look doll, i’m beat. Can we talk tomorrow?” he begins to walk towards the stairs that lead to your shared bedroom “No. Absolutely the fuck not.” oh crap. did you just say that? he stops in his tracks and turns to you. “Excuse me?” Shitshitshitshitshit what do you say? why did u say that? “Toji i asked you a question. What. Is. Today.” you keep up the tough girl act, too deep to back out now. “Y/n.” he walks closer to you but you back away “Toji today is my fucking birthday. Today is my birthday and i’ve been home all day thinking my ‘husband’ was going to at least come home on time but you were out fucking some bitch!” You begin to yell, crying harder than you were before. “The fuck are you talking about?” You weren’t stupid, you knew he was cheating but who were you to say anything. You were nothing without him. You didn’t want to ruin things. You can’t lose him. “Toji, i know you’re seeing someone else but i at least thought you would have some type of respect or decency to not do this to me on my fucking birthday.”You’re falling apart in front of him.

The silence is strong. He walks towards you and wraps his arms around you, holding you close. “Things just haven’t been right with me, i don’t know why i do the things i do. You know how much you mean to me baby, i never want to hurt you.” i never want to hurt you. Those words replay in your mind. He brings his hands to hold your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs. “You know I love you and only you, right?” you wanted to yell at him. You wanted to kick and scream but something in you made you believe every word he was saying. Instead of doing any of those things you just nodded. Shame rose in you but it all started to fade away when his lips connect with yours. You know this isn’t right, this isn’t healthy but that doesn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck and letting his hands wander. “I’m so sorry baby.” his lips travel to your neck. You try to hold back sounds but he knows just what to do to get it out if you. “Gonna let me show my girl how sorry i am?” you just started at him. not wanting to say yes but you didn’t want to disappoint him by saying no either.

You have to draw a line somewhere. “I think i just wanna go to sleep…” Removing your hands from him and stepping back. His looks confused but he doesn’t press further. Is it bad that part of you wishes he did? You wished he would’ve showed some kind of kind want, not just wanting to fuck out of pity. You know why he didn’t tho, he already got his fix of pussy for the night and it didn’t come from you. What a shame.

That night you couldn’t sleep, you were up all night silently crying. Is this really what your life was? You had lost yourself in this relationship. Your 26th birthday was a wake up call. The next few days were rough, he was just coming home later and later. Not to mention he wasn’t even trying to hide his affairs, He started to be careless. Not bothering to cover the scratches or hickeys that covered his body, leaving his phone open when you could see messages from the multiple girls and having panties and various other items in his car that didn’t belong to you. It’s like he was trying to hurt you, but isn’t that what he said he never wanted to do?

[sincere1ystar]

i am so down for a part two with resolution

you ask so i will (attempt to) deliver!! you can read part one here!!

Broken Promises (Part 2)

Finnick Odair x Reader

He makes up for his mistakes and empty promises (fluff + SOME hurt from part one)

author’s note: sorry i know this is sort of rushed since i’ve been kinda busy 😭 I know it isn’t the best I could’ve written but thank you for the love on part one!!

That morning is more tense than the others, but Finnick is determined to make it up to you. So even when you brush right past him instead of eating breakfast with him like you usually do, he doesn’t let this discourage him.

“You sleep okay last night?”, he asks you only for you to respond with a cold and short response saying you’re fine.

It’s then when Finnick realizes that words won’t do much if he wants reconciliation. Of course it won’t, he did hurt you after all. The guilt gnaws at his insides when he visualizes you setting up everything and waiting for him to show up last night just for him to break his promise and your heart along with it.

When you’re out with friends he decides to make your favorite dinner for you. Ironic, since that’s the same thing you did and his absence caused this whole mess in the first place. He doesn’t let this weigh too much on his mind as he makes all the preparations to gain your apologies.

He can’t help but reminisce on nights where you’ve helped him through his nightmares and how patient you are with him on days where his mind is plagued by the past. He’s always known that you’re too sweet for him, so his heart can’t help but break a little more when remembering the look on your face when he showed up late the night before.

When you finally come back home you’re exhausted and definitely not in the mood to deal with Finnick. That is until you realize that the table has a variety of your favorite foods displayed onto it. You look around with a confused expression onto your face and your eyes fall upon Finnick who’s pulled a chair for you and waiting for you to sit down with him.

“What’s all this for?”, you mutter as you reluctantly sit down.

“For you.. It’s all for you”, Finnick replies softly as he takes your hand in his and kisses your knuckles.

You don’t ask anymore questions after that, letting his actions speak for him instead of his words. That’s the kind of person Finnick is after all, acts of service was one of the many ways he showed his love. You smile to yourself when you notice how there’s a bouquet of your favorite flowers in the middle of the table and how Finnick used your favorite silverware.

By the end of the night, your heart feels full again. Finnick recognizes the familiar sound of your laughter as you giggle at him attempting (and failing) to stay awake during the late hours of the night just so he could hear the sound of your voice some more.

“I’m so sorry for being an idiot”, he mumbles sleepily as you lie against him, “Please forgive me… Please i’ll do anything to make it up to you”.

“Anything?”, you ask with a tone of playful trouble hidden beneath your words.

Finnick senses this and groans playfully as he remarks, “Aw hell you’re going to make me do something stupid aren’t you?”

As he falls asleep to the sound of your voice listing silly ways he could make it up to you , he holds your body close to his craving your warmth. The comfort of your warmth causes the guilt to wash away from his heart as he makes silent promises to never hurt you like that ever again.

[modanisgf]

1. SUNSHINE (WRITTEN)

your hatred for wonbin was growing by the minute as you waited for him to show up, he was supposed to come with you to the campus cafè before your class but he hadn’t responded to your texts in ten minutes.

you even told your server that another person was coming, so he sat you down at a table for two making you look even more stupid. fortunately, wonbin finally made his way into the cafè an exasperated expression on his face as he sat down.

“holy shit y/n i’m so sorry— i just went through hell.” wonbin says.

“what happened?" you ask, confused at his different behavior.

“sohee tried to rob me again.” wonbin says.

“what, did he try to take your guitar?” you ask, to which he gives you an incredulous look.

“no? he tried to take my deadpool funk pop.” wonbin says, you waited for him to say he was joking but he kept a straight face the entire time.

“seriously, you made me look like an idiot over a deadpook funk pop? you could’ve just went through his room later for it.” you say, sighing.

“it’s limited edition y/n.” wonbin deadpans, taking a sip of his coffee that you ordered him.

“yeah anyways..” you trail off, attempting to change the topic. the two of you conversed about school for almost the rest of the hangout, even planning a study session.

though there was one thing that was weird, you felt like someone had their eyes on you two as you spoke.

“wonbin, do you feel that?” you ask in a whisper tone.

“huh?” he asks.

“nothing.” you say, momentarily you just brushed it off choosing to ignore the feeling.

however you were given a new feeling when a new server came to your table, her bright smile blinding you.

“hello! i just wanted to know if you guys are doing alright.” the girl who you soon figured was named kazuha, says.

“hi, we’re good.” wonbin replies for you both, gritting his teeth at the way you stared at the poor girl.

“okay, have a good day!” kazuha says kindly, making her leave.

“hello..? what was that?” wonbin says, waving his hand around in your face.

“huh?”

“why did you stare at that girl like that? she probably thinks your a weirdo.” wonbin says.

to be completely honest, you weren’t sure either the realization hitting you way after. rolling your eyes at wonbin, you get up from your seat finally ready to leave.

“it’s fine, i’m sure she didn’t notice right? maybe..” you say, truly you knew she noticed but you wanted to keep positive.

wonbin just gives you a weird look before insisting you both leave, “let’s just go, we have class in ten.”

“did you really have to remind me..” you groan.

wonbin just sighs, tugging you by your sleeve, “your fault for chosing a 10am class!”

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TAGS 🏷️ (OPEN)— @haerinsloverr @greenniee @emphobics @seunghancore @aeriniee @aeriigfs

[kunimix]

—NEON GUTS

Ep. 3; Tutor Session yay… I’m gonna cry

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CW; Written chapter, timestamps don’t matter unless said otherwise

You were grabbing your notebooks and stuff until one of your brothers came into your room.

“Where are you going?” your older brother, Ayaso, asked. His voice sounded confused but he had a poker face on.

‘Tutor Session’ is what you could’ve said but you said “To mind my own damn business” as you walked out of the room with your bag of notebooks.

You arrived at Scaramouche’s house with the help of your mom dropping you off. You walked to the door and were about to knock before the door swung open. A woman with blackish purple hair stood in front of you.

“Hello, are you the girl Kunikuzushi is tutoring?” The woman asked

“I’m sorry who?” You said confused

“I forgot he goes by Scaramouche to everyone else”

“Oh yeah, he’s my tutor, is he here?”

“Yes, he is he’s right in his room. Just go up those stairs and the second door to the left is his”

“Thank you”

You went up the stairs and tried to find his room. you found it but you knocked before you came in. Once you heard a muffled come in you opened the door and was hit with the aroma of snacks.

“You got snacks?” You asked him

“No shit?” He looked at you as if you were stupid

“Little rude don’t you think?”

“Little slow don’t you think?”

About an hour into the session, you felt like your brain fried. You grabbed a [chip of choice] and put it in your mouth. He had given you some math problems to practice with

To hell with math, you thought slamming your head on the table

“What? Are you done?” He took your notebook from under your head. He read the questions some of them unanswered.

“How the hell did you manage to get all of the ones you answered wrong?” He was in disbelief.

“Shut up!” You picked your head up and semi-yelled at him

“It’s whatever though I guess we can stop for the day.”

“Finally!”

You stood up and stretched but then an idea popped into your head.

“Wanna go get boba?” You excitedly asked him

He sighed but nodded continuing to putting everything away. You would help him but he insisted that he didn’t need help so you just sat on his bed and waited.

He finished cleaning and grabbed his jacket.

“Well? Let’s go” He was looking at you waiting for you to get up

You quickly stood up but then almost fell.

Should I leave my stuff here or should I take it with me you thought until Scaramouche interrupted your thought process

“Just leave your stuff here you can come back and get it if you’re thinking that” He said practically reading your mind.

“Okay then let’s go” You said excitedly.

He grabbed his keys and led you out the door to his car that was in the driveway.

You guys get to Song Tea and your phone was blowing up with messages whether it was from your friends or from Twitter. You guys enter the store and wait in line it was a really short line since it was 6pm there was only a couple in front of you guys.

Once it was your guys’ turn to order you were about to speak until Scaramouche interrupted once again.

“Can I get a Jasmine green tea with boba and a” he trailed off and looked at you

“What do you want?”

“A Carmel brown sugar mochi dirty with boba” you respond after reading the menu

The lady at the counter nodded and put in the tablet thing. You started grabbing some money out of your pocket until Scaramouche stopped you and shook his head towards you. He paid for yours and his drink. The lady told you two your order number and you went to go find a seat somewhere.

“So.. why’d you pay for my drink not that I’m complaining or anything just curious” You put you head in your hand looking at him.

“Because I wanted to is that a problem?” He raised an eyebrow

You just shook your head. Your order number was called and Scaramouche went to go grab the drinks.

prev ep | masterlist | next ep

Summary; Scaramouche is “forced” to tutor you the “dumbass” of the class

A/n; sorry for late post

Taglist; @featuredtofu @chemiru @veekoko

[aphroditesswan]

Guess who's backkkk! Me ofc <3

New request! :)

This request is idk probably weird! But ur my favorite! Can I ask for a reader who speaks another language but Is fluent in English. (I speak Spanish) and for example reader is speaking English but mixes it up with there other native language? Like I speak Spanglish (mix between Spanish and English) I hope you understand what I'm saying 🙁

But with danganronpa characters! (I'm a multifandom person) with kokichi and other characters u love! Can be either female or male characters! Have a nice dayyyy <3

déjate llevar 

danganronpa v3 characters x gn! reader 

warnings: translator spanish, kokichi. 

summary: your native language slips a bit while with your classmates 

genre: fluff, crack 

notes: i’m a no sabo kid so please excuse the terrible translator spanish 🙏  also these r the v3 characters that i actually like so like,, there’s not a lot. 

requested: yes! by my fav requester no less

kaede 

oh she is on you about it, but not in a bad way. she listens intently to anything you’re saying, thinking maybe she can get kiibo to translate it later. she ultimately fails, simply forgetting how exactly you said it and gets the weirdest translation ever and ends up almost malfunctioning kiibo. 

“whhhat are you doing?” you had asked, walking in on a very confused kiibo and a disappointed kaede. “oh uhm,, i was asking kiibo about something that uhm, i heard earlier!” “translation,, my chicken smacked it’s nightlight in the face.” upon hearing kiibo, you realize two things. 1. kaede was trying to translate something you had said 2. she was absolutely terrible at spanish pronunciation. 

shuichi 

he’s curious, that’s for sure, but he doesn’t exactly know how to ask you what you had said. he thinks that either you’d think he was dumb or you’d blatantly ignore him. oh the over thinker you are, saihara. like maki, he’s writing down everything you say that he wants to know, except he has no plans of talking to you about it. if he doesn’t have a pen and paper, it’s a mental note in his mind and thank the gods he’s infinitely better at spelling and pronunciation than kaede. 

“whatcha writing, shuichi? i’m curious.” you’d said, and yet again another thing he’d have to write down. “it’s nothing, don’t worry. just a couple of notes.” he had written down your latest phrase, taking the sticky note off and folding it, putting it in his pocket for later. “really? i could help you know-“ “no! i mean,, i appreciate it, i really do, but i don’t need any help, really.” “you sure?” “of course, no worries.” you then smile at him, shrugging and going back to your original task which required you to leave the room for just a bit. he sighed, slumping his shoulders in defeat. stupid shuichi, that could’ve been his chance to ask about phrases. his pockets are filled with folded up sticky notes of the things you say, and now he’ll have to search through an outdated dictionary for answers. good luck with that, saihara. 

maki 

immediately thinks that whatever you said, it was some sort of code. she’d glare at you from wherever she was, leaving poor you to question what the hell you did wrong. you wouldn’t know she was following you and listening to every small thing you said in your native language until you were alone and turned around from looking at something in your lab, seeing maki less than a foot in front of you. 

“ah- maki, what did you need? i didn’t even hear you come in…” you put down the item you had on a nearby desk, trying to back up a bit. “this. what do they mean?” she presented a notebook to you, listing all the spanish phrases you’d said out of instinct in the last couple hours. “ohhh… well for instance that first one means ‘i am surrounded by imbeciles.’ if that helps you.” you smile a bit, already catching onto the fact she thought it was something dangerous and thinking it was just a bit entertaining. 

kokichi 

somehow fucking knows spanish. and he’s listening for it too, already discerning from the slightest slip of an accent, that nobody else had noticed, that english most certainly wasn’t your first language much less japanese. 

“no puedes hablar en serio. te juro que me pones de los nervios más que nadie aquí.” you’d said as kokichi bothered you with the most useless thing, and trust me he knew what he was doing, for the nth time today. “heyy, that’s not nice to say, now is it?” he’d responded back in perfect spanish, smirking to himself as he followed behind you. you hadn’t noticed until you continued cursing at him in spanish (the same way you’d later realize was much like your mother) and then you stopped dead in your tracts, slowly turning your head to the smug kokichi. “what.” he flashed you that cheshire cat smile, and you swear that if it was possible he’d have the same powers as him. “what, not in the mood to talk anymore now, are you? be careful what you say, amigoooo!” he taunted as he walked backwards and left you with your eye twitching. “kokichi! get back here!” you looked around with furrowed brows, now speed walking towards kokichi with a glare. earlier, you had said some not nice things in a moment of anger, but hopefully he didn’t remember all of them. he couldn’t have, right? either way, he can’t run from you forever, and when you catch him he is absolutely, positively done for. 

kiibo 

offers to be a translator for you. you could say the most diabolical thing on earth in spanish and he’s looking like 😦 but would still offer to translate what you said like you MEANT for somebody to actually understand you. 

“su multa como el infierno, yo personalmente sería bussing abajo sin dudarlo.” “EXCUSE ME. would you like me to translate your current sentence?” “ABSOLUTELY NOT KIIBO???” you have half a mind to shut him off just because he offered to translate it. hopefully, JUST HOPEFULLY, kokichi wasn’t around to hear that because then you’d really be in trouble, but if kiibo keeps offering to translate your deep dark secrets you say in spanish he better watch out. ricky when i catch you ricky. 

not a lot of the v3 characters interest me enough to write abt them lowk 😭

[mrsportgas]

Ghost Ridders Chapter.7

PLEASE THIS IS +18, Pure Smut. You are warned.

#Summary: Eight years ago, you were taken against your Will to Mary Goise to become the new slave of Saint Roswald, or rather, to living a hell on earth. One day, while you go with  him on a visit to a New World´s  island in the New World, but a familiar face appears. This creates the perfect opportunity for you to escape, join the Whitebeard Pirates, and discover more about your past, your abilities, and who you really are. All  while you try to endure your new crewmate, Portgas D. Ace, who is incredibly annoying... or perhaps incredibly irresistible? You haven't decided yet.

This story is based in the world of One Piece, with the same characters and timeline. Of course, this story is fiction created by me. Some of the timelines, names, and characters might be the same, also some names, characters, stories, or even personalities may be altered. The story is happening pre-time skip, while strawhats are in sabaody for the first time.

The first chapter is an introduction to the current story, which begins with Ace as your central romance. (This romance may shift to other characters as the story progresses, but don't worry, there's still plenty of Ace to come.) The story is written in first person. Female gender, Y/N, but feel free to change the gender, name, or anything else that makes you more comfortable.♡

Previous Chapter

I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as I sat next to Ace. The murmurs and laughter of the group around us faded away, leaving just him in front of me. Ace looked at me with a mix of surprise and curiosity, unaware of what was about to happen. I tried to calm my nerves, reminding myself this was just a game, though for me, it meant so much more.

"Hey, Ace," I said with a playful smile, trying to sound casual.

Ace raised an eyebrow, his smile slightly crooked and eyebrow arched, as if he was wondering what I was planning. "What’s up, rookie?" he said, glancing at the festive atmosphere around us, maybe suspecting that the others were up to something.

I took a deep breath, recalling the dare Deuce had given me, and decided to go for it. “Nothing, just… wanted to say you look good tonight. Really good, actually,” I added, trying to sound flirty, though I couldn’t help but feel a bit clumsy and ridiculous.

Ace chuckled softly, but his gaze softened, as if he wasn’t quite sure how to react.

I couldn’t back out now. I leaned in a little closer, feeling the adrenaline rush through my veins as the space between us closed inch by inch.

Suddenly, when our lips were just centimeters apart, Ace smirked, that mischievous smile he had when he was up to something. “So, you're just fulfilling a dare, huh?” His tone was cheeky, his confidence suddenly renewed. He didn’t seem as confused as he had a moment ago, as if something inside him had clicked.

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks but decided to play along. “Yeah… Deuce thought it’d be fun.”

Ace let out a soft laugh, leaning closer with a playful glint in his eyes. "And you thought it was a good idea? Betting on me like I’m some prize?" His voice was teasing, but the way his eyes held mine made my heart race. "Next time, tell those idiots not to be so loud. If I know what you’re up to, it’s not as funny."

I smiled back, trying to keep my composure. "Well, you didn’t seem to mind," I replied, with a hint of teasing in my voice.

Ace raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the situation. "Oh, not at all," he said, his tone shamelessly flirty. “In fact, if you wanted to kiss me, you could’ve just said so—no excuses needed." He leaned even closer, his warm breath brushing against my skin. "You didn’t need a dare to come over, Y/N."

My heart skipped a beat, but I refused to let him see me flustered. “Oh, really? And what makes you think I wanted to kiss you outside of the game?” I crossed my arms, though inside, I was struggling to stay calm.

Ace glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, his grin widening, as if he knew he had the upper hand. “Come on, rookie. I’ve noticed those looks when you think I’m not paying attention.” He gave my shoulder a light tap. “Or did you think I hadn’t seen you? Because… you’ve been looking at me more than you’d like to admit.”

He said it with so much confidence that it left me speechless for a moment. I didn’t know what surprised me more: that he had noticed or that he was being so bold about it. I bit my lip, trying to hide my nerves.

“You think it’s just me? You’ve been looking quite a bit too, Ace,” I said, trying to regain some ground.

Ace grinned widely, as if he’d been waiting for me to say that. “Who could blame me? When you’re always there, looking at me like that, I can’t help it. You know you look really cute when you blush, right?” he added in a teasing tone, clearly enjoying our little war of words.

“Oh, shut up!” I shoved him lightly in the arm, but my smile gave me away. Ace, however, leaned in closer, taking the chance to toy with my nerves.

“If you wanted to repeat what happened the other day, all you had to do was say so.” He shot me a sassy look, his eyes gleaming with that perfect mix of fun and flirtation.

I was left speechless. The way he said it, with that overwhelming confidence, completely threw me off. But deep down, I knew it was part of Ace’s charm—that ability to be playful and disarm you in an instant.

I tried to keep my cool, but in the end, I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re such an idiot, you know that?”

Ace laughed softly, leaning in to whisper in my ear. “Yeah, an idiot you want to kiss.”

A shiver ran down my spine, and before I could respond, Ace moved closer to my ear. "I think I’m going to take a shower, in case you feel like watching me… like last time." He quickly stood up and, with a calm, carefree stride he desapeared.

-------------------------------------------------------

Deuce, watching from the circle around the fire, winked at me when I returned. "How’d it go?"

I collapsed next to him, feeling the heat in my face. “Let’s just say… maybe Ace isn’t as slow as I thought.”

Deuce chuckled and raised his cup. “I knew it. He just needed a push.” Then he gave me a sly smile. “Or maybe two.”

I stood watching Ace as he walked away. “Should I go? Or should I not go?” I wondered, feeling a mix of adrenaline and nerves.

Deuce, still observing everything with a knowing smile, gave me a little nudge. "If you don't go now, you're going to regret it."

I sighed, knowing he was probably right. I couldn’t let this opportunity slip by, even though every part of me screamed that this was a crazy idea. I slowly stood up, feeling my heart pound in my chest. With a shy smile in Deuce's direction, I followed Ace’s trail, trying to appear more confident than I felt.

The sound of running water guided me toward the showers, where Ace was already sitting in one of the tubs, water cascading over his body, glistening in the dim light of the beach bonfires. He looked completely relaxed, as if he knew I’d follow him—and of course, he had been right. When he saw me approaching, that mischievous smile appeared on his face once again.

“Well, look who decided to show up.” His tone was brazen. “Here to bathe, or did you just want another look?” he asked, letting the water run through his hair while his eyes scanned me from head to toe.

I bit my lip, trying to keep my cool. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ace,” I responded, crossing my arms while looking at him with a mixture of challenge and nerves. “I only came because I figured someone needed to watch you. I wouldn’t want you drowning.”

Ace let out a laugh, tilting his head slightly. “Oh yeah? How thoughtful of you.” He took a step closer, with that playful look that always made me feel so much more aware of every movement. “Although, if I were to drown, I’m not sure you’d be the best person to save me.” He ran his hand through his wet hair, still under the shower, as he watched me with those dark, challenging eyes. “Oh, come on, Y/N. Stop playing hard to get. Get in the water.” His smile was sassy, brazen, as if he knew exactly how to throw me off balance.

The air felt heavier, like everything around us had slowed, focusing solely on him. Ready to play his game, I began undressing with a carefree look, mimicking his own attitude as if I didn’t care about being exposed in front of him, although technically, I already had been.

Completely naked, I slipped into the same tub as Ace, using the bubbles to cover my body.

Ace let out a soft chuckle, clearly enjoying the situation. “Are you just going to stay over there all night... or are you going to come closer?” His grin widened, and without warning, he reached out, gently grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward him. Our bodies were closer than I expected, his warmth and the cool water of the tub surrounding me all at once.

My breath hitched, and though I wanted to respond with something clever, I realized that once again, Ace had won this round. And the worst part was knowing he was right about everything.

Ace cupped my face with his hand, bringing our mouths closer together as he guided my legs to wrap around his torso.

Just before our lips finally touched, fear that our relationship would become even more complicated made me speak up. “Ace... I... I can't do this.”

Without letting me finish, Ace pushed me away and quickly moved to the other end of the tub. “Fine, if you don’t like me, you should’ve said so earlier.”

“Ace, that’s not it...” I said, completely thrown off by how he could think that.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I never thought the feeling was mutual. I’ve always been alone. If it weren’t for my brothers, I wouldn’t even know what it’s like for someone to love you just for being who you are. Well... and Pops.” I slowly approached Ace, who was now staring out of the window with his back to me, ashamed. “I’m just not made for anyone to love me romantically.”

I grabbed Ace’s arm, tugging so he would turn around and face me. “Look at me, Ace.” He turned, trying to avoid my gaze. “I like you, Ace, but I can’t let things between us get even weirder. I can’t stand it when you ignore me.”

Ace quickly looked at me, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Before he could say another word, I lunged toward him, pulling him into a passionate kiss.

Ace wrapped his arms around me, placing my legs back around his torso as he nipped at my neck.

“Let’s head to the showers,” he whispered. “I don’t want anyone to see us here and get us into trouble."

Ace took my hand and led me to the showers, which were separated by walls and a door. We both quickly slipped into one of the stalls, laughing like two little kids up to no good.

Ace locked the door and, with his strong arms, pulled me close. "I could get used to this," he said between laughs, and started kissing me again as his hand slid down my body. Soon, it reached my intimate parts, and with a look asking for permission, he slowly moved to my clit, rubbing it gently but in perfect circles. As the room filled with our moans, I began touching Ace, moving down inch by inch until I reached his cock. It was already hard, but I knew it could get even bigger. We kept touching each other, enjoying the sounds escaping the other's mouth.

Ace stopped, pulling my hand away from his cock, and dropped to his knees, his hands parting my legs. "To be honest, I want to eat you out so bad," he said with a wink. He started licking my clit, making circles with his tongue, occasionally sliding it down to my entrance. He was doing it perfectly, with passion like everything he did.

After a while, I was already nearing my climax, riding the wave of ecstasy and my impending orgasm. "Ace, I'm going to cum..."

Hearing this, he quickly stood up and slid two fingers into my tight hole while I rode them, pushing myself to my peak. "Ace!!" I screamed as the explosion of pleasure hit me.

"That's it, pretty. You’re going to be saying my name all night."

My legs were trembling, but that didn’t stop me from returning the favor. This time, I knelt down, taking his cock in my hands and putting it in my mouth. Ace grabbed the walls for stability, moaning wildly as he thrust into my mouth, the pleasure taking over him. Tears streamed down my cheeks as Ace's cock grew bigger and bigger.

Just as he was about to climax, he pulled his dick out of my mouth. "I only want to cum in that pretty cunt of yours."

With that, he turned me around, pressing my face and chest against the shower wall and sliding his massive cock into my tight hole without warning. We both moaned, and Ace started pounding me from behind, holding me up as my legs buckled with each thrust. "You're so tight.... I love it," Ace groaned as he bit my ear.

"I love it when you go rough," I responded, turning to wrap my legs around his body.

"I got you, don't worry, just enjoy." He said grabbing my thighs

Ace kept thrusting, faster and faster. We were both nearing our peak when I felt the ball of pleasure in the pit of my stomach unravel, sending me into a powerful orgasm. As I came, Ace followed right after.

We both looked at each other, panting and laughing. Ace gently lowered me to the floor, making sure I didn’t fall, and turned on the shower to wash us off.

"Come to my room," Ace suddenly said. "Just to sleep, I mean. Or do you want to go back and listen to Marco’s snoring again?" He smirked at my confused look.

"Hmm, I don’t know, maybe if you ask nicely," I teased, trying to throw back some of the attitude he’d given me earlier.

"You're sleeping with me tonight, Y/N, don’t play hard to get now. Just try not to fall in love," he added with a wink.

"You're such an idiot, you know that?"

We both laughed.

After getting dressed again, we headed to Ace’s room.

"My room is your room, roocks."

Ace’s room was similar to the one I shared with Marco, except it had a large bed, a few trinkets from his travels and missions, and some newspapers scattered on the table.

"Monkey D. Luffy... Why do you have a wanted poster of a pirate from another crew?"

"That’s my little brother," Ace said with a wide grin.

"Look," he said, showing me a news article: "The Worst Generation Pirates."

"My brother’s in Sabaody now. He’s going to be a great pirate," he said proudly.

I started reading the article about the Sabaody Archipelago and the Worst Generation pirates.

“Law…” I whispered, seeing his picture.

Ace snatched the newspaper from my hands. "You know this pirate? Trafargar Law?".

NEXT CHAPTER

[duckiemimi]

https://www.tumblr.com/jgnico/729415078056755200/stop-taking-nanamis-words-for-why-gojo-did-what

Hey mimi!! Hope ur having a nice day!! I really love your thoughts and metas its a very insightful!!! And ur fanfics god i hold them so tenderly in my hands each time i read them!! thank you for making them!! And i wanted to ask: whats your thoughts on this ?

i’m so sorry this reply is so late, i’ve been a little busy these days 😭 but i love this post so much! it’s so well-written and well-articulated!

most people in the story don’t understand gojo; the whole point of 236 was to hammer that home. gojo died misunderstood. (well—if you don’t count geto understanding him, i guess. and some of his students try to, his friends, too, but that’s besides the point. most people didn’t. doesn’t mean they were incapable of loving him, though.)

i understand nanami’s sentiments here. to nanami, gojo was the guy who could’ve solved everything, who could’ve prevented deaths, who could’ve prevented haibara’s death. to nanami, gojo was the embodiment of the system. of idle power. it’s a little similar to geto’s point of view in shinjuku: why the hell should he try and sympathize with someone who can do it all? gojo is different. he’s not like us.

really, i believe most of the characters in the story feel this way about him, this attitude of begrudging hope because though he is an enigma in their eyes, he is also a beacon of hope because if gojo exists, then a better world is possible. they see the idea of him before they see him for who he actually is. they see his dictated role before they see him.

but here’s the thing: gojo is readable to us. as readers of the story, we should be able to understand him and what motivates him, we should be able to understand his alienation and loneliness more than anyone in the story. because he is wholly readable and thus knowable, because we see the things the other characters don’t. we should know him by how he was written, not by other characters’ perception of him. that’s subsidiary.

(if anything, other than supplementary information on gojo, the characters’ opinions on him tell us more about them and the world they live in, not about gojo.)

i think this juxtaposition between the perception of gojo and just gojo himself is best shown in his conversation with geto. there, he talks about being familiar with isolation (his metaphorical infinity) and his longing to be understood. right after, nanami chimes in and offers his opinion about gojo. i do think the writing could’ve been done more effectively (after all, the chronology makes the scene a little confusing), but it’s still plainly written for us to read.

gojo’s efforts to better the system shouldn’t be wiped off the board just because nanami said he fought for fun. we know him, we’ve read him, we’ve witnessed him give second chances to kids who’ve lost hope. we’ve seen gojo’s care. i don’t think this is a case of just selfishness or just selflessness. don’t fall into the trap of black and white thinking.

gojo was jujutsu’s pillar. i imagine if you grow up with enough people telling you who you are—what you are, really—you’d start to internalize it and learn your role. to his core, gojo was a guy who never acknowledged his subconscious and what lay beneath it because of this. a mental infinity, a metaphorical infinity. almost there but not quite; he never got to the root of things, whether it be changing the system or figuring out why he was the way he was. he was never thorough. (isn’t that why “geto” came back anyway? because he didn’t “finish the job”?)

but, hey—his given name is satoru (enlightenment). perhaps there’s more to his story.

(or maybe he died in irony.)

[lavellenchanted]

Otp: I want the whole damn thing & 5?

5. Angry Kiss

“April, what the hell are these?”

Jackson’s voice isn’t quite angry (not yet, anyway), just flat and tight, like he wants to sounds neutral but just can’t manage it; but when April turns to look at him, there’s bewilderment written across his face more than anything else as he stares down at the iPad she has so very stupidly left on the kitchen counter open and with the screen on.

A screen that is currently showing house and apartment listings around Boston.

Slowly, Jackson’s eyes lift to meet hers and she feels a guilty blush steal across her cheeks – which is almost immediately followed by a surge of irritation, because she doesn’t have anything to feel guilty over. And she finds it incredibly galling that he would look at her like that, with his eyes soft and confused and betrayed when he’s the one who –

“I was just browsing,” she blurts out, because she doesn’t want to think about that. Except that she already has, which is probably why she sounds so snappishly defensive. “I mean, I’ve got to look at some point, right?”

“What are you talking about?” His eyebrows are drawing down into a frown, and like a mirror of herself she can see the irritation building in him as well. 

They’ve always been too good at that, reflecting their worst emotions back at each other.

“This was only ever temporary.”

April waves a hand, a gesture meant to encompass not just the kitchen but the entire house. A house they had started sharing when they first moved to Boston because that was easier than trying to find two places at the same time, but which was never meant to be her and Harriet’s permanent home here. Just his. 

Except that it has become her home. Worse, it’s become theirs. It feels like cutting out a part of herself to say it isn’t, but how can she stay now? 

“Did I do something? I know you’ve been mad about something for a while.”

She almost wants to laugh because of course he knew. No one has ever been able to see through her quite so easily as Jackson can. It used to frighten her, the way he seemed to strip her bare and see everything, all her fears and insecurities and hopes and dreams, with just a single glance. It also thrilled her, though she tried to deny that for the longest time.

At this particular moment it’s just making her angry, because how can he know her so well and still not understand?

“No, you didn’t –” She lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’m not mad at you.”

It’s mostly the truth. Okay, maybe she’s mad at him a little bit, but really she’s just mad at herself.

Because she thought that maybe they were –

But she was wrong. Of course she was wrong. That was made very clear last week, when she saw him looking cosy with some annoyingly long-legged blonde woman at the Foundation. 

Intellectually, she knows it’s not Jackson’s fault. She may not have done anything wrong but neither did he, not really. They’re still divorced, and neither of them have ever mentioned dating or getting back together or anything of the sort. A few lingering looks here and there or flirtatious remarks don’t mean anything. They aren’t promises or declarations.

Still, she feels so stupid that it makes her want to scream with an anger that’s sharp and bright and far preferable to focus on than the hurt drumming at her insides.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Jackson says drily.

April glares at him. “I just thought that it’s about time Hattie and I found somewhere else.”

Jackson’s jaw tightens. “So when were you going to tell me? Or were you going to tell me? Was I just going to come home one day and find you both gone?”

“Of course not! I was going to tell you when I found a place. Why are you so pissed about it anyway? I thought you’d be glad to have some space back. Then you could bring all the blonde friends you want back here without us getting in the way.”

The words have spilled out before she can stop them, bitter and jealous. She bites down on her lip to stop herself saying any more but it’s too late. Jackson’s staring at her, his expression growing darker, and then suddenly he’s striding across the kitchen to stand right in front of her, towering above her so she has to crane her neck to look up at him.

“Blonde friends?” he says furiously. “That’s what this is about? I don’t know what makes me more angry, April, the fact that you saw me schmoozing someone who is considering making a huge donation to the Foundation and assumed I was hitting on her, or the fact that you didn’t talk to me about it and just decided to deal with it by moving out. I thought we were past this, the not talking to each other about things.”

April blinks, thrown for a moment by this new information and desperately trying to ignore the sudden, painful burst of hope radiating in her chest, then feels her cheeks warm as her thoughts catch up to what he’s saying.

“Oh, like you talk to me? If I made assumptions, maybe it’s because we’ve been in Boston for eight months and I still don’t know what you want from me, Jackson! You asked me here but I don’t know if it’s just because you didn’t want to be that far away from Harriet, or if you actually want me around –”

She doesn’t get a chance to say any more because Jackson cuts her off, catching her face between his hands and covering her mouth with his. It’s not a gentle kiss – they’re both still too angry for that – and his lips are almost bruising, insistent, each stroke of his mouth delivered with deliberate passion, like he’s making a point and wants to be very clear about it. 

Maybe he is; she curls her fingers into his shirt and pulls him closer, kissing him back with equal fierceness, running her tongue over his bottom lip and then catching it between her teeth. Her heartbeat is roaring in her ears and she can hardly breathe, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t want to breathe right now. She only wants to keep kissing him, to feel the fire that’s burning through the veins as she presses herself against him and gives in to the hunger and the longing that she’s been trying to bury for months.

Jackson lifts his mouth briefly, tilting his head the other way and between kisses he’s saying, “I want you. I have always wanted you. I will never not want you.”

She brings her arms up to wind them around his neck and whispers back, “I want you too. I want you so much, Jackson.”

Finally, when her head is swimming and her legs feel weak and shaky and like they might collapse any moment they break apart, though she keeps her arms around his neck and he brings his hands to her waist. They’re both breathing heavily, their eyes locked on each other, and April can feel her heart pounding against her ribs.

“I guess we both still need to get better at the talking thing,” Jackson says. “But let me start with saying that I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here with me.”

April smiles. “Then I’ll stay.”

kiss prompts

[originalfatfiction]

Project AX3

Tap. Tap. Tap. I was utterly dazed and in a state of total confusion. Someone was at my door, and they were knocking in a very precise nature. It was a constant string of taps with hardly any pause between them. I figured whoever it was would go away after realizing I wasn’t going to answer, but the knocks were persisting, the tone not even increasing in volume. There was no urgency, so I moved slowly, not completely awake. I have to get up, I thought. I reached for my glasses, putting them on my face sleepily. I looked over at my digital clock, noting that it was nearly three. Who in the hell would be at my door at three in the morning? I was suddenly much more alert, kicking off my comforter. I stood up, pulled on a pair of shorts, and ran to answer the door.

“I’m coming!” I called, my mind waking more and more by the second. At the sound of my voice the knocking stopped. They hadn’t been knocking as though they were in distress. It could be the building manager, but in my two years of living here, Bonnie had never knocked this late. Someone could be messing with me. Or it could be a potential intruder. Or it could be a demonic presence. I was making myself panic like I always did. Chill out, I thought. There is probably a simple reason why they’re knocking.

Cautiously, I peered through the peephole to get a look at the culprit. There was nobody there. I paused for a moment, almost certain what awaited me on the other side would bring my demise. I opened the door, and I quickly looked both ways down the hallway of my apartment complex. Maybe it was just some practical joker. I didn’t think there’d be anyone living in this building with the sense of humor of a ten-year-old.

Looking down, I found a note with a key taped to the back. It read, in small, neat writing:

Hello Mr. Kirby,

This is from your neighbor Jomei Tanaka. I live in 707 and I was hoping you would look after my apartment while I am away. Please keep an eye on things, for it is uncertain when—and if—I shall return.

He hadn’t signed his name, just having written the word goodbye.

Why would he just up and leave? Why would he ask me of all people to look after his place? I took the note into my apartment and placed it on the end table by the front door. It gave me a bad feeling, definitely. The nature of the note felt so final, I worried he’d done something reckless. I hoped he would be all right.

I didn’t even know what Mr. Tanaka looked like. I had never seen him. I was pretty sure he even got his groceries delivered. Could I go to the police with just a hunch? Did I need more vital information? I did not want to go rummaging around his apartment this late and get the cops called on me. After about thirty minutes of internal debate, I was starting to get groggy. I would check things out in the morning.

A few hours later I dressed quickly for class, making sure to leave enough time to check out Mr. Tanaka’s apartment. I was feeling guilty about not going to the cops when I first received the note. Mr. Tanaka could be dead in his apartment, and I could’ve made sure he survived. I was once again thinking the worst.

I ate a bagel with cream cheese as I packed my bag for the day. Moving from the kitchen to the living room I grabbed my computer from on top of the coffee table as well as a few textbooks. I had a pack of gum, a couple mechanical pencils, and some other miscellaneous items in the various pockets. Once I finished my breakfast, and was certain I had everything I needed, I headed over to Mr. Tanaka’s. I wondered what he even needed me to look after. His plants? His pet snake? I took in the brass numerals on his door: 707. Unlocking the door caused his alarm system to chime. I worried he might have had it set, but after a few moments of silence I assumed I’d be okay to continue my survey of the scene. I adjusted my glasses and looked around before entering further.

Mr. Tanaka sure left in a rush, or the place had been robbed before I showed up. I stepped over a shattered mug, making my way towards the sofa to set down my bag. His apartment was the deluxe. One of the seven apartments on each floor was a deluxe model. That meant there were four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. My place was miniscule in comparison, being a one bedroom, one bathroom. What did one man need so much space for? He was probably some sort of swinger. I could imagine wild sex parties taking place in each of the various bedrooms. Maybe he’d fallen for someone just this morning and they had to elope in Vegas. Love was just that powerful! I laughed out loud at the idea of it all. That was far-fetched, even for my imagination. My theorizing was cut short by the sound of a ringing telephone.

It continued to ring as I looked around, frantically searching for its location. It was going to be an ordeal attempting to locate it in Tanaka’s tornado zone of an apartment. I had given myself plenty of time to handle this, but I started to fear it was going to make me late for class. I was a junior at the university not too far from here, studying English.

“Hello,” I said reservedly. There was no response. I’d found the phone in one of the bedrooms, which was a total mess—the bedspread on the floor, clothes all over the mattress. “Hello?” I called again. I had picked up the phone just as it stopped ringing so maybe I had missed the caller.

“Hello, this is Doe speaking.” Her voice sounded like one of those recordings they used for voicemails. “Jomei Tanaka, state your authorization number.”

“Uh, hello, Doe,” I said. “Mr. Tanaka isn’t home, and I don’t know when he’ll be back. Can I take a message?”

“No, that will not be necessary. Project will be terminated.”

“Project?” What was she talking about? I wanted to question her, but it was really none of my business. “Doe?”

“Goodbye.” The line went dead. I set the phone down, still trying to figure out what she was talking about. I exited the bedroom, ready to get my bag and—oh my God. 

There was a guy, a naked guy, shoving all of my gum into his mouth.

I froze. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t know if I should approach the mentally deranged guy chewing on a twenty-piece wad of peach bubble gum or if I should just snatch my bag and get the fuck away from him.

“So sweet,” he said. His voice sounded kind of like slurps, because of all the gum, but underneath that was a deep, raspy tone. I looked at him more closely, and he appeared well-groomed. He wasn’t bad looking either, actually really handsome. He was tall, somewhat lean, but incredibly muscular, and had barely any body hair. That is to say he had eyebrows and thick black hair on his head and around his penis, but he wasn’t a Sasquatch. “More?”

“Uh, I’m going to take my bag,” I said gently, in case he really was crazy. He grabbed the bag and held it in his arms. If it weren’t for my computer and textbooks, I would have left empty handed. “That—that’s mine.”

“Your bag,” he said. His whole Tarzan routine was concerning. “Your bag! Your bag has chewy stuff inside!”

“Gum?”

“Your bag has gum! I want more gum!” I had just noticed he wasn’t chewing the gum anymore. He had swallowed it, paper and all. He walked close to me, and I got a little nervous. I took a step back, but he kept coming. He extended his arms, holding the strap of my messenger bag. I couldn’t move back any further, my back against a wall. He’d cornered me, though he didn’t seem aggressive. He put my bag on me, his penis brushing against my hip.

“Uh, thank you,” I said, my face hot from discomfort. He didn’t seem to mind being naked. Where did he come from? I had locked the door behind me when I came in; he couldn’t have gotten in that way. He must’ve already been here. Was Mr. Tanaka actually into some sort of weird sex stuff? That’d be outrageous. “What’s your name?” I asked.

“My name is AX3,” he said. That was not a name, at least not in the traditional sense. “That is what Jomei called me.” He was still in my personal bubble.

“Why did he, uh, leave?” I asked cautiously. My hand found its way to his stomach, which felt as if it had been sculpted from marble. I pushed him back gently, for the sake of my nerves. My brain was trying its hardest to make sense of this. Maybe this guy had done something to Mr. Tanaka. The note could have been a means to throw the authorities off, an absolute forgery. It sure looked like there’d been a struggle in this apartment.

“He left because of me, because I was violent—because I was imperfect.” Once again, I was dumbfounded. Was this his way of admitting to harming Mr. Tanaka? I stood silent, terrified of what this giant could do to me. I glanced towards the front door, determined to escape no matter what. “What is your name?” he asked me audaciously, even though I would have been majorly embarrassed if I was standing in front of some stranger in my birthday suit. His question didn’t deter me from focusing on my escape route.

“Casey,” I said, glancing at him and then back to the door. He repeated it back to me, looking me up and down.

“I like you Casey. You look nice.” What did he mean? Nice, like a good person? That I was attractive? Or nice, like the perfect next victim? I walked gingerly towards the door.

“Uh, well I have to get going. See you later, AX3.” I was going to leave the key here because I sure wasn’t coming back. I’d tell the police everything I found, all my suspicions, and be finished with the whole situation. That was my plan. I hadn’t signed up for this. I could handle houseplants and pet snakes, but this was not something I was qualified for.

“I do not want to be alone,” he shouted, walking towards me. He grabbed my arm, pulling me into his naked body. I felt his stone body against my own, noting that he was very warm. “Do not leave! Casey, do not leave!” He was strong, incredibly strong. I was pulling away, but he was grabbing me harder, his penis touching me more and more, pressing against my stomach. It was like he didn’t even notice. Was he getting hard? No, it had to have been my imagination.

“You’re hurting me,” I said, a little alarmed. He let go of me immediately. I looked up at him, and he frowned heavily, like a sad puppy dog. It was actually pretty cute.

“I–I did not mean to hurt you,” he said. “I am sorry.” When Mr. Tanaka’s note asked me to take care of things, did he actually mean him? Like seriously. Did Tanaka think this was an okay thing to ask a distant neighbor to do?

“It’s all right. I forgive you.” He smiled, revealing a set of perfect, white teeth. “I wish you came with instructions,” I mumbled. He smiled even wider and hurried off into one of the bedrooms. I got to take a look at his perfect, round butt. He sped back into the room and handed me a pamphlet. It was his—care instructions?

I doubted I was going to make it to my classes today. Why would Mr. Tanaka leave someone alone who didn’t seem capable of taking care of himself? I was going to get this guy some help and then email my professors about my wild morning. I was sure they’d understand my absence. This was not normal. The telephone rang again.

I retreated back to where I’d left the phone, answering it quickly. “Hello?” No response. I swallowed, my throat dry. I didn’t like feeling like I was in danger. “Doe?”

“You should evacuate the premises. Leave everything as you found it. Goodbye.” I hung up the phone and looked at AX3, who had followed me into the bedroom. He stood perfectly still. I could hear a faint hissing sound.

“Uh, AX3—?” He looked at me, and then I started to feel slightly dizzy. He strode over to me quickly and picked me up. “What—what are you doing—?” My words trailed off. AX3 cradled me in arms, walking quickly towards the front door. He opened it forcefully, breaking the lock in the process. He pulled the door closed before he walked all the way down the hall towards the stairwell. He sniffed my hair as he held me in his arms. I kind of liked him, even if he was nuts. I was still kind of dizzy. “Your hair, it smells like—like sweet!” He was so ditzy, though it was kind of charming. He was probably talking about my hair oil. It was coconut scented. He was still holding me, and though I wasn’t heavy, I didn’t think he would be able to carry me for so long.

“Could you set me down?” I asked. He complied. I stumbled slightly, and he supported me, making sure I had my balance. I wasn’t too sure, but I had a feeling that Doe had something to do with what happened in there. Was she trying to kill AX3? He’d made sure I made it out of there okay and now I had to make sure he was taken care of. I’d help him get into contact with his family, his girlfriend—anybody who could make sure he’d be safe. “Follow me.” We walked back down the hall to my door. I fished around for my key in the pocket of my jeans. I unlocked the door, but not before Mrs. Horowitz saw me with a naked man pressing his flaccid dick into my back. All because he seemed to lack the basic instinct of personal space.

We stumbled in and he followed me into my bedroom. He was like a little duck, well—a big duck. I pulled out a pair of briefs and handed them to him. He put them on, and they rode up his ass. I couldn’t believe I was getting an erection with all that had happened today. He didn’t even try to pull them out from between his beefy cheeks. It couldn’t be helped; they were really small on his large body.

I handed him a t-shirt and that was also too small. The sleeves hugged his biceps and if he moved his arms the shirt rode up on his flat stomach. I walked up to him, pulling at the hem of the shirt, trying to make it cover more of his muscled stomach. I laughed when it wouldn’t stay put. He lifted his arms and once again I tried to pull the shirt down. He gave a husky laugh, smiling at me widely, like it was a game. I was forced to accept I’d just have to look at him semi-nude. My clothes just weren’t going to fit him. 

I wasn’t even at his shoulder, meaning he most likely weighed way more than I did too. I couldn’t see him weighing anything close to 145 pounds. I figured he had some clothes back at Tanaka’s, but with what happened earlier I didn’t think it would be a good idea to return there. He’d just have to make do with my too-tight underclothes for now.

I had set down the pamphlet he gave me when we first entered the apartment. I went to retrieve it. He followed, of course. I stood by the end table next to my front door and he stood behind me.

I could hear him breathing behind me as I read the three lines of text. They were labeled as Vital Information.

1. Do not leave AX3 alone for more than 48 hours.

2. Do not allow AX3 to consume more than 500 calories per day.

3. Do not anger AX3; he has the ability to kill.

That was not very helpful. Hell, that gum he swallowed was most likely over 500 calories. I looked at the back of the pamphlet. It was just a diagram of AX3. He was 6’5” and 230 pounds. I sighed and turned around. There he was, smiling at me dimly.

“Who are you?” I mumbled softly. He blinked at me, looking at me with a confused stare. AX3’s eyes were a very pure, bright blue-gray color that seemed almost electric. God they were pretty eyes.

I had monolid eyes, the irises brown in color, inherited from my paternal grandmother who was Korean. The rest of my ancestry was African. In high school, my best friend dubbed me the “Miniature Tyson Beckford.” My freshman year of college I dyed my hair blond, and I was currently in my blue period, with a bold cerulean fade.

“I am AX3.” He smiled again. “You are Casey.”

“I know who you are. I was just thinking out loud.” I didn’t know what to do with him. Should I report him to the police? Should I just let him stay here? “Do you have a way I can contact your family? Your mom or your dad?”

“I only have Jomei,” he said. It nearly broke my heart. I needed to figure something out, because unless I could find Jomei Tanaka it appeared AX3 would be a stray. “Do you know where Mr. Tanaka went?” I asked.

“Away,” he said.

“Yes, but where?” He shook his head no. Whatever the relationship he and Tanaka had, it seemed to be a rocky one. I hated to keep bringing him up to AX3, but he was the only lead I had. “Did he say when he was coming back?”

“He is not coming back, because he does not want me anymore. Because I was imperfect. I failed too many times.”

“What did you fail?” I asked, trying to figure out who AX3 really was—and I was getting tired of calling him AX3.

“The inspections, the tests. He said I was broken. He said they would kill him if I did not pass the tests. I did not like those tests.” He looked angry, and it was an emotion that didn’t suit him. He had such a happy-go-lucky attitude that this was almost like a different person. Looking at me, he panted ferociously. I stepped back, unsure of what he would do.  He started punching the wall, over and over again. In a matter of moments, he’d punched three holes in my wall. I could kiss that safety deposit goodbye. I didn’t want to yell at him to stop, afraid that would just make him even more upset. “They hurt! The tests hurt!”

“How—how about a cookie?” I asked, my voice shaky, uncertain if this would calm him down. He stopped, looking confused for a moment, then smiled at me. “C’mon.” He followed me into the kitchen, and I took out my cookie jar. They were oatmeal chocolate chip. I handed him one and he put the whole thing in his mouth.

“Can I have another cookie?” he asked, not even done with the first one. How many calories was this? I handed him another and he ate that one just as fast as he ate the first one. I had to tell him no more after the fifth one.

I was sure I broke the 500-calorie rule, but I was trying to satiate him. 500 calories were like nothing at all and he was huge. It baffled me that he would be able to live on only 500 calories a day. He was probably hangry. It was almost understandable he turned my wall into a punching bag. Maybe Mr. Tanaka had been starving him—though if he were, AX3 wouldn’t look to be in such fantastic shape.

I spent the rest of the day talking to him, every so often bringing up little questions about Mr. Tanaka. I found out that he was a single, older man. They’d lived in that apartment together for the last four years. He only let AX3 eat chicken breasts, celery, carrots, cottage cheese, and water.

I had hoped to find out more, but at around eleven I decided to call it a night. I made up the couch for myself and told AX3 he could sleep in my bed.

“I want to sleep with you,” he protested. It had been a while since I’d heard that from a guy. I wanted to ask if he and Tanaka shared a bed but decided against it. “Please Casey.” 

I would never do something so crazy under any other circumstance, but I went with him into my bedroom. He was still wearing the underwear and t-shirt I gave him earlier. I pulled off my jeans and pulled on a pair of athletic shorts. Normally I slept in my underwear, but that didn’t seem appropriate considering the situation. I put my glasses on the nightstand.

We positioned ourselves on my queen-sized mattress and he held onto me. I wanted to push him off, but I didn’t. He wasn’t a bad guy, though I felt like one. He didn’t know what he was doing, and truthfully, I let him in bed with me because I felt lonely.

My ex-boyfriend dumped me out of the blue about a year ago. It was during finals week, and I was completely overwhelmed with essays and projects. I got a text message saying he needed to focus on himself, and that he didn’t have time for a relationship. I was devastated. He was a year ahead of me in school and very popular. The worst part was that I thought everything was fine. We’d gotten dinner the night before and studied in the library together for a few hours afterwards.

I still saw him sometimes in the coffee shop where we had our first date. My freshman year I spent most of my free time there, loving the atmosphere. It was special to me, and that was why I suggested we meet there. Now he was always there, and I was rarely able to avoid him. He always had numerous unsolicited updates about his amazing life.

Before long, with AX3 cuddling me, I was fast asleep.

I woke up around six and looked to my right. Shouldn’t someone have been next to me, or was yesterday a dream? 

No—AX3 was gone. I sat up, reaching for my glasses. Hopping out of bed, I put the aviator frames on my face as I rushed from my bedroom into the kitchen. There he was, drinking milk from the jug.

“You don’t want a glass?” I asked. I looked at my counter. It was littered with food packages. He had finished off all the cookies. He had also finished some leftover pizza, a fruit tart my mother made me, a pound of honey roasted turkey breast. My Cinnamon Toast Crunch was gone, as well as my coffee creamer. I think he’d even eaten a stick of butter. His belly was full-looking, and it was shocking how bloated he appeared to be. I wanted to touch his stomach, like I had yesterday. He brought the jug from his lips. “I am sorry Casey,” he said to me. “Do not be mad.”

The 500-calorie rule had officially been broken, though nothing bad seemed to have happened.

I hadn’t gone to my classes in three days, and I was determined to go tomorrow. It would be Thursday, and my last day of classes for the week. I’d spent my time getting to know AX3, and to be honest we didn’t do much aside from hang out. We watched TV and listened to music. I taught him how to make grilled cheese sandwiches. That evening, as we watched an old Disney movie, he asked me to give him a regular name. I was sick and tired of calling him AX3, and I guess he was tired of hearing it as well. I told him he could choose one and I would respect whatever name he chose. He insisted that I had to be the one to pick it, and I settled on Axel, considering it kind of looked like AX3. “How about Axel?” I asked. He laughed, smiling wide, and repeated the name. He liked it.

The next morning, I got ready to leave for class. It was my only true commitment, considering I didn’t work. My parents paid for everything I needed. They told me that they wanted me to focus on my education. I was a bit spoiled in that regard and it was only because they had a great deal of money.

They ran a genetics lab and had hoped their only child would study genetics as well. Sadly, I ran from science courses, never having an affinity for them. Maybe I should have taken Axel to them, but they’d look at him and see he was perfectly normal and shoo me out of their office.

I told him I would be back in less than eight hours. He was eating marshmallows and I had given up on his care instructions. I’d need to go grocery shopping soon. We couldn’t live off pizza and Chinese food forever. We also had to get him some more size appropriate clothing items. “You are leaving?” His eyes got wide.

“I have to go to school. I’m a college student.” I took the marshmallows from his hands and placed them on the counter. “I will be back.”

“No!” He grabbed me into a tight hug, like that day in Mr. Tanaka’s apartment. He was lifting me up, the toes of my shoes scraping against the linoleum of the kitchen floor. It started to hurt. “You will leave just like Jomei.” 

He sounded irate, getting more and more worked up. He grabbed harder. He was so unhinged, and it broke me inside to think of what he’d been through to make him this way. Tanaka had really screwed with his head. I started to wonder if he had been abducted as a child. Again, he squeezed tighter and I started getting that lightheaded feeling from a lack of oxygen.

“Axel you’re hurti—I can’t breathe—” He sat me down, looking fearful and apologetic. He reached for the marshmallows, pawing at the neck of his t-shirt. It was probably too tight.

“Please come back soon.”

“I will come back. I promise,” I said. I walked towards the door and he followed. I pushed him back gently and closed the door behind me. I looked down the hallway and at apartment 707 was a man in a black suit. He was balding, and his hair was a snow-white color. This was a white man, so I figured it wasn’t Jomei Tanaka.

We made eye contact and I noticed he was holding an envelope. I couldn’t do anything right this second, but if he was going to leave something there, I was so going to take it as soon as I saw him leave. I left him in the hallway and took the elevator down to the lobby. I went outside and sat at a nearby bus stop.

No longer than five minutes later he walked down the street to a sleek black car and drove away. I ran back into the building, key in hand and up the seven flights of stairs. My face felt flushed, but I couldn’t stop the excitement that began to grow inside of me. This could mean more information for Axel.

I tried to use the key, but it didn’t fit in the lock. How had the other man gotten in here? He didn’t look like the type to pick a lock, but I’d recently learned not to judge a book by its cover. I, however, had no locksmith abilities whatsoever. “Shit,” I whispered to myself.

“What are you doing?” I must have jumped a foot in the air. It was Axel, and he was in the hallway in nothing but my too-small gym shorts. I guess he got fed up with the shirt. I had to buy him some clothes of his own. He seemed—wider. His chest was broad, his pecs sizable and incredibly plush. His nipples were pert and pink, the areolas a bit larger than a quarter. His abs, which had looked to be chiseled by Michelangelo himself, were nowhere to be seen. His tummy bowed out, as if he’d just eaten a large meal. I really needed to make sure he ate less, but he always seemed so happy when he was eating.

“There was a man who left an envelope in there. I have this key that Jomei left me,” I said, holding it up for him to see. “But now it seems the locks have been changed.”

“You want to go inside?” he asked. I nodded. He pushed me aside, and in one swift kick he knocked the door wide open. It was sexy, not going to lie. I looked around the hall, making sure nobody saw us, especially that busybody Mrs. Horowitz. I ushered him inside the apartment quickly, walking behind him.

When I got to look around my jaw dropped. The apartment was back to normal—well not exactly. It was clean, yes. But this was an entirely different place than four days ago. Someone had completely redecorated. Had Doe done this? Was this her getting rid of all traces of the project? All of the furniture was different and there were new colors on the walls. I saw the envelope the man had been holding, picked it up, and continued to look around.

They’d removed all of Tanaka’s belongings. It was like we were in a hotel penthouse. We had to get out of here. What if they had something worse set up than the stuff they used last time we were here? “Let’s go Axel,” I said, looking at the envelope in my hands. He pulled the door closed and we went back to my apartment. I threw my bag down and sat on the couch.

He sat on the ground in front of me in a pose that reminded me of a little kid. He had his legs tucked into his chest with his arms wrapped around them. His biceps bulged with muscle, and they looked larger than when we first met. Maybe the 500-calorie rule had something to do with why he was getting so big so fast. He’d definitely grown since moving in with me, which was strange as it had been less than a week. I thought he still looked great, which was a thought I tried to ignore. I had to remind myself that we were only friends, if that.

I opened the envelope and pulled out six folded up sheets of paper. It seemed to be a review of Project AX3 and its terminated status. It detailed what the project was and why it was ended.

Axel was named from birth twenty-three years ago AX3—so he had never had a “real” name. He was twenty-three. There was something odd about knowing his birthday. He was a December baby. I had just turned twenty last month, in July. These documents claimed his mother “donated” him to the study, helmed by Lieutenant General Jomei Tanaka and a Dr. Lionel Lawry. He had been with them his whole life.

They were creating the perfect combatant and had been testing different formulas on him: a growth serum, a muscle developing medication, a brain stimulant which targeted receptors for aggression and rage.

They were being funded by the government. I couldn’t fathom how this was pitched, let alone approved and financed. Doe was a member of the government inner circle who led this and other experiments for the military. She was the one who decided to cut funding for multiple projects, and to terminate this project in particular.

His brain had been permanently damaged by the drug targeted at his frontal lobe. When he gets angry, he can’t control it. They rewired him—his brain. They’ve been manipulating his emotions, trying to make him ruthless, but it didn’t work out how they would have hoped. From what I read, about the tests, he had never been up to government standards.

He could only have 500 calories a day because when he was going through puberty, they tested another formula that would allow him to survive on a diminutive number of calories, in case he was stranded in combat. He’d put on weight more quickly than a normal person because of it; his body didn’t burn the calories properly. I doubted they ever tested long-term what would happen if he did eat more than 500 calories a day, because it seemed to have an effect on the muscle developing medication.

He was a government guinea pig, and they were just going to toss him aside because he didn't fit the mold they wanted. He never got to live a normal life. He would have died if I never went to Mr. Tanaka’s apartment.

Scribbled across the back of the final page was a note from Dr. Lawry. The handwriting was messy, the lettering somewhat jarring. It read:

LTG Tanaka,

This is a complete farce. Does that bitch really think 25 years’ worth of research can just be tossed aside like this? You’ve got to take the boy and get out of here. I fear that they’ve already gotten you both. If you get my letter, you know where I am hiding. Call my emergency number. Get in contact with me ASAP.

He signed the letter L.L.

I must’ve read the entire thing three times before I looked at Axel. When I did, he was smiling at me sweetly, eyes lively and good-natured. “What?” he asked.

Did I look worried? I was worried. What was I supposed to do with him? I didn’t want him to stay cooped up in my apartment for the rest of his life. Dr. Lawry sounded desperate. He must have been to leave this correspondence after seeing Tanaka’s apartment. He had to have been able to tell that things were amiss in there. Did he really think his colleague was just biding his time before returning to the apartment? I bet Tanaka got out of dodge before anyone could put a bounty on his head. His guilty conscience was why he left me the note, to make sure Axel was taken care of.

Axel stood up and sat next to me on the sofa. He put his arm around my shoulder. This isn’t what you think, I reminded myself. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“I’m fine,” I said. I looked at him in the shorts. He’d stretched out the waistband and I didn’t think the elastic would bounce back. I only had little underwear, so he was going commando. His sizable penis bulged obscenely, trying to be contained by the thin, purple cotton fabric. “Though I think maybe we should go out and get you some clothes.”

“But I am already wearing clothes,” he said, jumping up. His ass was another problem. It was pornographic. Like my briefs that first day, the shorts rode up his butt. Even if he felt comfortable in next to nothing, he needed clothes because I couldn't take looking at him semi-nude any longer. This was a test from the universe—having the hottest man I’d ever seen living with me, parading around in the nude, and not being able to suck his dick.

I suddenly realized he didn’t even have anything to wear to go shopping for something to wear.

The next day, my day off from classes, we went to get him some things. He put on one of my biggest t-shirts and a pair of my running shorts. By conventional standards, the fit was terrible, but it was all we had to work with. His feet must’ve been at least a size fifteen, but I had a pair of flip flops that actually worked. They’d come into my possession one drunken night and I had no clue how. Had I stolen them? Most likely.

We left out around noon and I wished that I had a car so people didn’t have to see him so—sexy? He had a powerful strut that showed off the sheer size he carried around. In four and a half days, he looked to have put on at least twenty-five pounds. Walking next to him felt good, and I felt lucky to have met him. It felt like a date, and I had to remind myself I was simply helping a friend, like I was all five guys from Queer Eye rolled into one.

I lived close to many shops and we first stopped at a shoe store. I thought a pair of sneakers would be nice. I measured his feet, size fifteen and a half. I told him to pick any gym shoe he wanted. He held up a tiny shoe with a light up cartoon character. I couldn’t help but laugh. I doubted those were made in his size.

I told him to pick again and forlornly he chose a pair of Nikes. I also picked up two ten packs of socks. I paid, and we left the store to try to find some actual clothes. He didn’t get out much with Jomei I assumed. He was amazed by every store we passed and stopped to look in each of the front windows.

After some more shopping, we came to the coffee shop where he-who-shall-not-be-named often hung around. He saw the shelf of cookies and treats and turned to me, face excited and eager. “Can we get something? Please.” As much as I wanted to avoid this place, I just couldn’t say no to him.

“Yeah, let’s get something.” I opened the door and he walked in. I followed. We went up to the counter and I saw his eyes explore the shelf of goodies. “What do you want?” I asked after ordering a large, iced coffee.

“I do not know. What should I get Casey?” he asked me, still staring at all the pastries. They only had twenty different items.

“May we have one of each?” The worker asked me if I was sure, looking towards Axel, then back at me. “Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks.” She pulled out a box and began to place one of each inside of it. I took the box and my coffee, along with three milks for Axel, and sat at a small table near the exit. He placed the bags he had been carrying beside his chair. Along with his shoes and socks, we had bought two pairs of sweatpants, three pairs of athletic shorts, a multipack of t-shirts (he chose purple, because they matched his new underwear), and a pair of blue jeans.

He had eaten three of the cakes and I sat watching him enjoy himself as I sipped on my coffee. He was a behemoth and taking him in outside of my living room was bizarre. In my apartment he dwarfed everything, but even in public he took up space in a way I wasn’t accustomed to. He made everything seem so tiny. The milk cartons in his hands looked surreal. The width of his shoulders was intimidating, and the fact that he was still wearing my shirt that didn’t fit exaggerated the muscularity of his neck and traps. He also had a small gut that peeked out the bottom of the shirt, which was more akin to a crop top. I wanted to rub his belly, to feel his beefiness with my own hands.

“This one is really good,” he said through a mouthful of lemon cake with vanilla frosting. “You have to try it.” He leaned forward, extending the dessert to me. “Bite it,” he directed, smiling. I took a small bite, savoring the tart-sweet combination.

“That is good,” I said. He smiled even wider, pleased with himself. I was really starting to like him. He asked if I wanted any more and I declined. He then shoved the remains of the cake into his mouth, smearing frosting on his lips and nose. We needed napkins. “I’ll be right back,” I informed him. I went up to the napkin dispenser by the service counter and grabbed a couple while he continued to eat his food. The 500-calorie thing was dead and gone.

“Space Case!” I cringed at the pet name. I turned to face my ex-boyfriend. “Blue hair, huh?” He smiled at me, though I could tell he was being facetious. He was a fake, all of him, everything about him. But even knowing he didn’t matter in my life anymore, that he had no control over my self-image, it made me feel small. He was a dick—but I still cared about him. I still thought about him. I still had hope that maybe one day he’d say he made a mistake when he broke up with me through text message. “How’s it going?” he asked, sure that I was doing terribly.

“Hey Jonah,” I said, smiling. I could feel myself being fake too. I hated it. “I’m doing great, how about you?” It had always been so hard being myself with him. It was nothing like this with Axel. I didn’t feel so worthless, so insignificant. I felt my hand squeezing the napkins. They’d be too crumpled to use if I didn’t chill.

“Oh nothing, been dating a lot.” He smiled wide, sure I hadn’t been on a date in forever. He reveled in the fact that I hadn’t gotten over him. “I’m just trying to get through these next twelve weeks. I’m graduating in December, a semester early. I can’t wait for graduation. Can’t wait to move out west.”

“Awesome,” I said, feeling that none of the things he said were remarkable. He was a braggart. I knew he just wanted to tell me how great things had been going for him.

“Have you been seeing anyone?” he asked. That was all he really wanted to know. I could lie, but then he’d hassle me for details, and that would trip me up.

“Well, I, uh—um,” I stuttered. Just then Axel walked up to us. He still had some stuff on his face. “C’mere,” I said. He leaned down so I could reach his face. I wiped it off for him, taking in his beautiful eyes for the millionth time.

“Is this your boyfriend?” Jonah asked. Wiping food off of Axel’s face did make us look a bit like we were together. I wanted to shove Axel in his face more than anything. Jonah wouldn’t know what to do with himself, honestly. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t use him that way, no matter how much I wanted to.

“No, just a friend,” I said softly. He set his gaze on Axel and started flirting up a storm. I didn’t even get to introduce them. I didn’t get to tell Axel anything about Jonah. I could tell Axel was over it, and I was worried he’d get upset. Funnily enough, I was the one getting angry. I wanted to punch a couple of holes in something and it wasn’t my apartment wall. I counted backwards from ten, and with each number I pictured something that made me smile.

“You must be an athlete,” Jonah said. “With all those muscles.” He deliberately glanced at Axel’s package, which admittedly was somewhat obscene in my shorts, but it was still creepy as fuck of Jonah to do. Axel looked at him blankly, and I was once again afraid he’d get upset.

“Back off Jonah, he’s not interested.”

“He can tell me that,” he replied, sure he’d won Axel over.

“I am not interested,” Axel said plainly. He grabbed my arm and walked me back over to our table. I glanced back at Jonah, who didn’t look nearly as good as I remembered. He over arched his eyebrows and wore too much cologne. I felt myself smile. Axel had stood up for me.

“Can we go now?” he asked. “That weird man keeps staring at us.” I glanced over at Jonah, his face scrunched up and displeased. His laptop was open, but he was staring daggers at us. Axel still had five or so pastries left, but I was sure he’d eat them at home. We gathered up our belongings and went back to my apartment. I laughed a little bit at the memory of Jonah’s face.

In the hallway I saw the man with the snow-white hair, Dr. Lawry. I hadn’t expected to see him again. He looked at me, and then at Axel. His face registered shock and we walked by quickly. Axel walked close to me, his body pushing mine forward causing me to stumble. He was afraid. I didn’t want that bastard anywhere near Axel. I had to keep him safe. “AX3!” Lawry shouted. “AX3!” Axel glanced back at him, but I told him to keep walking.

“I know that man, he works with—with Jomei,” Axel said to me as I attempted to unlock my door. “He is not nice. He is not nice, Casey.” My hands were shaking, and I was still balancing the desserts from the coffee shop.

“AX3!” he yelled again. “Perro de Presa Canario!”

Axel dropped his bags and turned towards the older man. His entire posture had changed. He looked ten times more aggressive, his hands in fists. Lawry smiled—before Axel lumbered over to him, lifting him off of the ground like a ragdoll. He threw Dr. Lawry effortlessly, the old man bouncing off the wall and hitting the floor of the carpeted hallway.

Axel turned towards me, looking the most frightening I’d ever seen him. This was different from the other times. He seemed removed from the situation, as if acting on a vicious autopilot. All of his muscles looked tense and his nostrils were flared. I backed up slowly. He exposed his teeth, like some kind of dog. It couldn’t have been the same person—the person who loved the color purple and cookies. I dropped the box, covering my face instinctively.

“Palos Verdes Blue,” Lawry shouted. There was a loud thud, and when I peeked out from behind my arms, I saw that Axel had hit the ground. He’d passed out.

“What did you do to him?” I shouted, almost crying. I felt the tears welling up. “What did you do!?” I ran over to Dr. Lawry, tackling him. I sat on top of him, and he smiled up at me. His smug face was infuriating, and before I could stop myself, I punched him. I had never hit anyone before. I didn’t enjoy it, but he stopped smiling.

“Let’s just go inside,” he said, rubbing his jaw. I stood up, heart racing. I looked at him, and then at Axel, who was still unconscious. I grabbed all of the bags and put them inside. I picked up the box from the coffee shop and set it on the end table by the door. Hopefully, the desserts were still edible. Dr. Lawry was only a bit larger than I was, so it took the both of us to drag him inside. Axel was so heavy, we couldn’t put him on the sofa, so I just placed a pillow under his head.

“It seems you’ve been feeding him well,” Dr. Lawry said condescendingly, taking a seat on my couch after removing his suit jacket. I stood a few feet from Axel, hovering nervously. “You don’t know about the 500-calorie restriction, do you? You’ve single handedly destroyed everything Jomei and I have worked for.” He sighed deeply. “How did you let him get so big, so fast? He’ll have to go down to 400 calories a day and be put on a strict exercise regimen if he’s going to get back down to 230 pounds.”

I was slightly embarrassed, like I had messed up somehow. Axel was such a big man, if he wanted to eat who was I to stop him? I looked over at him on the ground, his belly rising and falling as he breathed deeply. Compared to when we met in Mr. Tanaka’s apartment that first day, he definitely was not his usual 230-pound self. I wondered if Axel even noticed. I think he enjoyed being able to eat whatever he wanted more than getting fat.

“No,” I said angrily. “If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to.”

“If he doesn’t, Doe will never reopen the project. We’re too far in to start on a new specimen.”

“Who gives a fuck? You have destroyed a person’s life. You took his freedom, his sanity.” Lawry was talking about him like he wasn’t a person. Like he was honestly just a project. I looked down at Axel, still asleep. “Why can’t you give him this chance to start fresh?”

“How did you come upon AX3?” he asked me, ignoring my question.

“Mr. Tanaka left me a note asking me to look after his apartment.” I sighed. “So, you’re Dr. Lionel Lawry, I’m assuming.”

“Yes, I am Dr. Lawry,” he confirmed. “And you are?”

“I’m Casey Kirby.”

“AX3 has never been around an African-American for such an extended period. It might be worth getting your testimony about your experience. Was he receptive? Both AX1 and AX2 were also white males. Perhaps that’s where we went wrong.” He was rambling, his mind obviously trying to piece together what factors could improve Axel’s chances of passing the government tests.

“Racism isn’t inherent,” I said. “So, unless you taught him to hate black people, he would treat everyone equally.”

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat. “It would still be worth doing some studies.”

“Why did Axel get so worked up? What did you say to him?”

“It was just an activation phrase. We use it to get him to attack. You see, he was a difficult subject, but the only one which survived. AX1 and AX2 both suffered deaths in training.” He narrowed his eyes on me before speaking again. “To activate the attacks, you must say Perro de Presa Canario. To deactivate them, say Palos Verdes Blue. But that’s all irrelevant to you, Casey Kirby.”

This was much more intense than I could have imagined. I wanted to ask more questions, to voice my opinions on the whole matter, but I couldn’t vocalize anything. My throat was so dry. I wanted a glass of water, but I didn’t want to leave Axel alone with this man.

Dr. Lawry broke the silence. “When can I take him?” he asked, before laughing obnoxiously. “Disregard that, I’m taking him as soon as he wakes up.”

“You can’t take him! We’re—you can’t.” I felt nauseous. He couldn’t take Axel from me. I felt selfish, but I liked having him around, and I wanted to make sure he was happy. Even if we weren’t a couple. Even if being in each other’s lives was only temporary. I had to help him be independent. Had Mr. Tanaka treated him like nothing? Like some simple weapon who didn’t have his own feelings and thoughts?

“You’ve had intercourse?” he asked. “He’s too unstable for that, he could kill you. What if he snapped your neck after ejaculation? Or couldn’t control his sexual urges and raped you?”

“How would you know?” I retorted, blood rushing to my face. “Have you studied his sexual behavior? Did he fuck someone to death? You didn’t even know he wasn’t racist until a few minutes ago, you sorry ass excuse for a scientist.”

“No need to get hostile. I would not know how he responds to sexual intercourse. From what I know he is a virgin. We had him masturbate a few times, as a test, but I do know he’s done it without our asking—each time he seems different afterwards.” He smiled, and it felt very inauthentic. “Do you want to, uh—sleep with him?”

“I think you should leave,” I said. I didn’t like him, not at all. He was a total ass.

“I will. As soon as AX3 wakes up, I will be on my way.” He really thought he was going to take Axel. Well, I wasn’t going to let him. This punk ass dude was getting me more riled up than Jonah ever had.

“His name is Axel, which is what he wants to be called, and he’s not going anywhere with you. And to reiterate, I really think you should leave.”

“I’m not going—” Dr. Lawry started, but I didn’t let him finish.

“Get out,” I shouted. “You have no right to take him. He’s not some piece of property, he’s a person.”

“AX3 is government property. You have no claim on him,” he said. “How do you know he wants to stay here? You don’t.” I hoped he enjoyed staying with me. I had really grown to care about Axel.

“I want to stay here with Casey.” Axel sat up on the floor. I didn’t know he had woken up. “I do not want you bothering Casey ever again. Or me.” He stood up quickly, as did Dr. Lawry, who put on his suit jacket.

“AX3, really, you don’t know what you’re doing,” Dr. Lawry said in a calm tone.

“Now I really think you should leave.” Axel looked at me, still somewhat composed.

“Now AX3, calm down so we can go and—”

“My name is not AX3. My name is Axel.” He was getting angry, his eyes narrowed, nostrils flared. “Get out!” He lunged over to Lawry and picked him up again. “You—you and—and Jomei.” 

He made a growling sound. I took it Dr. Lawry had upset him. It seemed like he didn’t know the guidelines either. Axel shook Lionel like it was nothing, throwing him to the ground after a few seconds. He knelt down beside Dr. Lawry and began to punch him in the chest. 

“Stop, Axel no!” He’d kill the elderly man, who didn’t compare even a tad to the durability of my apartment wall. I ran over to them, and Axel pushed me back without much effort. I fell backwards onto the coffee table, breaking two of the legs. He had knocked the wind out of me. Axel looked over at me, his face contorted in anguish. He looked back at Dr. Lawry, who was panting loudly, and jerked him up from the floor, dragging him out of the room towards the front door. Axel stormed back in, his breathing heavy.

“I hurt you,” he lamented, which wasn’t entirely true. For the most part I was fine. He hadn’t caused me any permanent damage. “I am broken. I am stupid.” I was still laying on the broken coffee table. He fell to his knees, and I could feel the floor vibrate from the sudden thud. He leaned forward, crying loudly. “Casey, I am sorry. I am sorry.”

I got to my feet and made my way over to him. I placed a hand on his back, rubbing it gently. “I’m okay Axel, really.”

“I should go with him,” he said. “It is where I belong. I do not belong here. I do not deserve this.” I knew he didn’t want to hurt me, and it didn’t seem like he ever really wanted to hurt anyone. I wanted to help. I wanted him to feel better.

“When—when I’m angry,” I started. “I count backwards from ten, and with each number, I think of something that makes me smile. So, for example, uh, let’s say for the number ten I’d think of teaching you to make a grilled cheese. Remember? You put six whole slices in yours.”

“You were right. It was too much for one sandwich.” He started to soften, his breathing becoming regular once more.

“What’s something you’d use for your number ten?” I asked. He sat up, looking at me. His belly rose and fell with each breath.

“Sleeping in bed with you. That always makes me feel calm. Or how you got me all those cakes today. Or when you taught me to dance to Beyoncé.” I felt my face get really warm, and I wished he didn’t make me feel like this. I didn’t want to abuse the situation. I wanted to just be friends.

“That’s ten, nine, and eight. You’re good at this.” He got to his feet, and now he looked down at me.

“Are you all right?” I asked. He nodded, pulling me into his body. We hadn’t ever hugged like this before, the closest we got to one another was in bed. I could feel his penis against my stomach again, but this time he was definitely hard. I didn’t know what to do.

“When Dr. Lawry asked you if you wanted to have sex with me, you never gave him an answer.” I stood in his arms, completely caught off guard. Had he been awake, listening in? The day we met he barely knew what gum was, but now he was asking me about sex? We'd been watching a lot of TV and movies, some of which did have sexual situations. Axel seemed to have a very large capacity for learning new things. He was always asking questions. He loved when I explained things to him. Maybe he wasn’t as clueless as I thought.

“If I said yes would it make you uncomfortable?” I asked. He hadn’t initiated anything sexual before. I didn’t know if he was gay. Could he even be gay? Could they have made sure that wouldn’t have happened with some sort of pill?

“No, I do not think it would.” We stood silent, his arms around me. I didn’t want to take advantage of him. He was vulnerable, and he’d been through a lot. If we had met through an app or on the internet, I wouldn’t have hesitated. I would have made my move as soon as he let me know it was okay. “I am sorry for getting so angry,” he said, releasing me from his grasp. “When that happens, I remember it, but it does not feel like me. Something just takes over.”

“It’s okay,” I reassured him. “How about a snack?” He smiled again and nodded. His leftovers from the coffee shop were a little banged up, but they were still edible. He ate them happily, getting frosting on his nose and lips again. I smiled to myself as I went to get him a paper towel, but the thought of Dr. Lawry’s return weighed heavily on my mind.

I knew Dr. Lawry would be back and I knew he’d be coming for Axel. I had been going to class off and on for over a month. I was still doing my work, making sure to get to campus to turn in papers and other major assignments. Every time I left the house, I feared I’d never see Axel again. That I’d return home to my apartment torn apart and my enormous houseguest nowhere to be found.

“Casey,” Axel called out to me from the kitchen. I’d given my friend an assignment for tomorrow’s class and she had gone home. I made my way to where he was. He sat shirtless at the table with his legs spread apart and his belly bulging out in a heavy sphere, relaxing his stomach muscles after indulging in some cookies we baked earlier in the day. His meaty backside filled up the kitchen chair over capacity.

His back was arched and his meaty pecs, which were covered in a substantial layer of flab, jutted out making him look massive. There was no pretending he was the same size or hiding his belly because it bowed out even when he hadn’t eaten, as rare as that was.

His once thin face had begun to fill out and he started to get a double chin. I noted that his cheeks were very red. It was honestly the first time I ever saw him look embarrassed or nervous. He didn’t seem to ever convey those emotions. “Are you okay?” I asked. “Your face is flushed.”

“I am all right,” he said, much more confidently than he looked. He lifted his bulk up out of the chair and made his way over to me at the counter. He looked down at me, face serious and determined. His belly pressed my body back, my butt up against the counter. His stomach pressing me back like that was so arousing.

“I am going to kiss you,” he said, cheeks rosy. Before I had the chance to reply he pushed his mouth against mine. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. He tasted like gingersnaps. His breathing became heavier and I thought slightly about what Dr. Lawry said, about rape and the neck snapping. I knew that wouldn’t happen. Axel would never do that—ever.

He was so warm. I hadn’t had sex since Jonah, and I wanted nothing more than to give myself to Axel. It had been on my mind ever since that day Dr. Lawry bombarded his way back into Axel’s life. That whole conversation made me confront the possibility of an intimate relationship with Axel.

I wasn’t thinking clearly, at least not with my brain. My dick pressed against my jeans making my pants feel really tight. I knew Axel was turned on too, as I could feel his dick on my stomach. He bit my neck, sucking on it, then covering it with gentle kisses. I moaned loudly, unable to control myself. I grabbed his butt, working my way up his back. He’d have a large V-shape if his love handles didn’t pour away from his body, thick and fleshy. He kissed me on the mouth again.

We moved towards my bedroom, stopping outside of the bathroom. “Can we do something?” I asked.

“Okay,” he said. “But what is in the bathroom?” I directed him to the scale and told him to stand on it. I was curious about how much he could put on in five weeks. Up until this point I had never made him weigh in, but I needed this. “Am—am I in trouble?” he asked, his arms covering his middle. He looked at the scale nervously.

“No, of course not,” I said. This was perverted, and I’d made him uncomfortable. What was up with me? I liked a wide range of male body types, but I’d never been with someone as big as Axel was. There was something so erotic about having seen him grow into the biggest, most muscular man that I’d ever seen. I hadn’t considered that he was self-conscious about his body.

“When I do not do well in the weigh-ins, I do not get to eat for a while.”

“I won’t be upset with what that scale says,” I told him, about to be completely honest with him. “Axel, I—I kind of like it. How big you’ve gotten.” He moved his arms.

“You like it, really?” he asked. “I did a good job?” I smiled awkwardly, nodding my confirmation. He walked over to the scale and stood on it. I hit the floor, so I could read the results. 347 pounds. My penis surged, and I felt a small drip of pre-cum.

I stood up, and he stepped off the scale, smiling at me. I’d never been more turned on in my entire life. I pulled him towards my bedroom, and looking at my queen-sized bed, I found it to be awfully small. He pulled off his cotton shorts, which we had purchased on our second shopping trip, revealing a small purple pair of striped briefs. His thighs looked gigantic, larger than my waist. He could hold up a house with those legs.

His ass was beefy and round, an enhanced version of the butt I saw a little over a month ago. His penis made a significant bulge in the underwear and I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. He removed his briefs at the same time I pulled off mine. I stood closest to the bed and he pushed me back, a bit forcefully.

He straddled me, kissing me hard. His hands pressed against the bed on the opposing sides of my head. His forearms were huge, and I couldn’t believe how firm they looked. He was even more muscular than when we first met, but he didn’t go to the gym or anything. He stopped kissing me, looking at me intensely. Once again, I was seeing a different side to him. He was so fucking hot, his lips parted in lust, his eyes staring at me with desire.

I pushed him off gently and walked towards my dresser. “We need some things,” I said as I rummaged through a drawer. I pulled out some lube and the largest condom I had. I had to help him put it on. He said it tickled. Leave it to him to say a condom tickled. I lubed up his dick as well as my hole. I told him what to do and he placed his sizable penis near my ass.

He slid in faster than I would have anticipated, and I gasped loudly. “Are you okay Casey?” he asked.

“Keep going,” I said, face down on the bed. He thrust his ample hips and held onto me with his big, manly hands. He went harder and harder and I thought of what Mr. Lawry said again. Harder. He grunted, his breathing deep. I just hoped I wasn’t too loud, not wanting to alarm him. Harder. Cum shot from my penis in what felt like an eternal stream. I’d never come from just anal before, and definitely not so fast. He was better than—what was his name? Joseph? Johan? Who cared! Axel was still going, and he was getting a little more aggressive. One last grunt and he came. We laid next to one another.

“I love you, Casey,” he said with all the feeling in the world I almost started bawling. “I never knew I could feel this happy.”

“I–I love you too, Axel.” He grabbed me, spooning me. His belly pressed against my firm body. I was still hard, and he was too.

“I did not hurt you,” he said, his face conveying a large, proud smile. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was a bit rough. Hell, I kind of liked it.

“You didn’t,” I confirmed, returning the smile. He asked me when we could do that again. I laughed and told him soon. I needed at least a couple hours before I’d be able to go again.

It was a night about a week after we’d had sex and it was late. Axel stood up and looked around, wearing a pair of black short-shorts and a white t-shirt. He walked out of the room.

It didn’t appear to be his typical late-night snack or something of that nature. Something had worried him. I stood up too, waiting for him to reenter. I heard the front door slam, and I ran into the hallway, putting on my glasses.

“Axel, is everything all right? Who was at the door?” He was on the ground, doubled over in pain. I saw Dr. Lawry and a small Asian man—Jomei Tanaka. Dr. Lawry held a very large needle in his hands, and it appeared he’d already injected Axel with something.

“How did you get in here? Get out!” I shouted. Axel groaned, still on the floor. I walked towards him and he stood, straightening up. His shirt was ripping at the arms. He was larger, even more so than usual. “Axel, a–are you okay?”

“AX3,” Dr. Lawry said, smirking, “I would like you to fight Casey Kirby.” Axel ripped the shirt open, throwing the tattered remains to the floor. His belly was rounded out, with a slight happy trail. It was large, but perfectly in proportion with his large arms and legs. He walked towards me and I noticed the aggressive stride. I stepped back. He took a swipe at me, but I ducked. I stumbled into the kitchen and fell back. He kicked me in the side, and like that day he pushed me onto the coffee table, it knocked the air out of me. My glasses had fallen off my face.

“What did you do to him?” I shouted at the pair. They had followed the two of us into the kitchen, looking on at us—at Axel trying to kill me.

“AX3, a moment please.” Axel stood up straight, feet planted firmly on the ground. “Well, first off, I would like to thank you Mr. Kirby for looking after my things for me.” This was Lieutenant General Tanaka. He didn’t speak with a thick Japanese intonation like I thought he would, but instead with a New York accent.

“Fuck you,” I said, shaking. “Just get out of here. Just leave us alone.”

“I’m sorry, but that is not possible.” He smiled sympathetically, and it was much more believable than Dr. Lawry’s fake-ass grins. “However, to answer your first question, I have given AX3 a drug Dr. Lawry and I have been working on for the last month. We have hardly slept trying to hurry and get AX3 out of your hair.”

“He wants to be here, and I have no problem letting him stay,” I said pleadingly. Were they going to have Axel kill me? I stood up, finally better able to breath.

“You see,” Dr. Lawry interjected. “He lacked the ability to take direction. Not anymore.” He smiled. “He’s perfect—well, almost. He appears to have eaten his old self. Though, some of his growth seems to be the doing of the injection. That was unforeseen.” He chuckled.

“He’s gotten too big. You can just let him stay here.” Both men laughed. “I’m serious. I already know Doe ended the project. She doesn’t want him anymore. Just change him back and leave. Please.” I was standing near the drawers in my kitchen, butt against the counter.

“We’re sorry, but we can’t do that.” Tanaka looked from me to Axel, a slight frown on his face.

“AX3, you need to knock Casey Kirby unconscious,” Dr. Lawry commanded. Axel walked over to me. I pulled out a knife from one of the drawers.

“Axel,” I said, knife shaking. “Don’t do this. This isn’t you. You’re better than this.” My side hurt from the kick. He grabbed my wrist. His breathing was deep, and I saw his substantial belly shaking. He squeezed harder and I dropped the knife. His other hand around my neck, he lifted me off of the ground.

I was starting to cry; the life being choked out of me. He walked me over to a wall and set me down. I think my wrist was broken. He looked down at me, his face cold. With his massive hand, he grabbed the side of my head. Those electric eyes I had looked into a million times were so cold. They were the last thing I remembered seeing before he slammed my head against the wall.

When I woke up my head hurt, but thankfully it wasn’t too severe. It was early, maybe about five in the morning, but I wasn’t sure at all. The room I was in was very bright, fluorescent bulbs humming above me. I was laying down on the floor of a large cage. I could hear Tanaka and Lawry talking. “We took the boy from his apartment Lionel, now what? You really think we have to kill him?”

“Of course we have to kill him,” Lawry said. “He knows too much. We could never let him live with all this information. Imagine what AX3 has told him.”

“When will we make contact with Doe?” Tanaka asked.

“We’ll run a few more tests, making sure AX3 is entirely obedient, and then we’ll reach out to her. This has to be perfect Jomei. It’s the only way this will work.”

“AX3,” Lawry called. I sat up, looking out at the three of them across the room. Everything was slightly blurry without my glasses. “You must go over to that cage and kill Casey Kirby. Do you understand what I am asking?”

“I am to kill Casey Kirby.”

“Proceed,” Dr. Lawry said.

“I can’t watch this,” Tanaka said, standing. “It’s too much for me.”

“Sit, Jomei,” Lawry said. “This is a perfect test to see what AX3 is capable of. I will need your evaluation of the situation to get the best possible analysis.” I could hear Axel making his way over to where I was being held. I looked around, no potential weapons in sight. Part of me felt that this was karma. I should’ve never had sex with him. The universe was punishing me for taking advantage of him.

He reached the door of the cage and opened it, stooping down so he could enter. He was still in nothing but the black shorts. His thighs bulged with muscle and their size was intimidating. The shorts looked almost painted on. His biceps were unreal, as was the thickness of his neck. How much did he weigh now? Would he use the strength of his legs to smash my head in? Or maybe he’d simply snap my neck. He grabbed my legs and dragged me to the center of the room. I could see Tanaka and Lawry watching intensely.

I flipped over to my back. Looking up at Axel, it was almost like taking in a mythical giant. “Axel, please,” I begged. “You’ve got to snap out of it.” He crouched down over me, grabbing me by my shirt, and slammed me into the concrete. I didn’t want to die like this. I didn’t want Axel to lose his freedom. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

“I love you,” I said, finally crying.

“Ten,” he said, still crouching over me. “Sleeping in bed with Casey.”

“What in the hell is he talking about?” Dr. Lawry yelled.

“Nine. Baking cookies with Casey. Eight. When Casey smiles it makes me smile.” I was still crying, completely dumbfounded by what was happening. He remembered what I told him. He was controlling his anger.

“AX3, kill Casey Kirby. Now!” Axel balled his fist up, punching me in the face, though it probably was not as hard as he could’ve done it. I felt my mouth fill with blood, and it spilled out over the side of my lips.

“What’s number seven?” I asked, hopeful the Axel I’d grown to love was fighting his way out from the controls of whatever poison Lawry had injected him with.

“Seven. Watching funny movies with Casey. Six. Going shopping with Casey. Five. Accidentally ripping my pants and Casey laughing.” He stood up, helping me to my feet. Dr. Lawry and Mr. Tanaka were absolutely in shock. They’d been so sure they perfected their formula.

“This is a failure, Lionel.” Tanaka stood.

“Attack!” Lawry shouted. “You worthless garbage, attack!”

“Four. Dancing with Casey. Three. Having sex with Casey. Two. Hugging and kissing Casey.” Dr. Lawry ran over to where Axel stood. “One. Casey saying that he loves me.”

“You listen to me, you big idiot. You really think this little faggot is going to care for you for the rest of your miserable life. I have raised you since birth. I have given you everything you’ve needed, and you have yet to yield any results for me.” He turned towards me. He had finally lost it. His years of research had ended, and he had basically nothing to show for it. I pitied him, but I also hated him. He wasn’t working with robotics or plants. This was a human being he’d tried to play God with.

“You have ruined everything,” he spat at me, slapping me across the face. There was a moment of silence, and suddenly Axel grabbed Dr. Lawry, and in one swift twist of his arms he snapped his neck. I jumped back at the sound, in disbelief. He walked towards Mr. Tanaka, who back peddled, trying to get away from Axel.

“Axel, no!” I screamed. He stopped walking and looked back at me. “I’m fine, you’re fine. Everything is okay. You don’t have to hurt Tanaka.”

“AX3, come here.” He walked over to Mr. Tanaka. “You too, Mr. Kirby.” I walked around Dr. Lawry’s body, feeling slightly queasy. “I think it is time to admit that this project has come to an end. It was doomed the day AX1 died. Regarding your weight, you’ll likely level out and begin to gain weight more normally. At what size that is I am uncertain. On the mice we ran trials with, they often doubled their body weight before they began to process calories normally again.”  

“Okay,” Axel said, holding me upright.

“And AX3—Axel, I mean, we have no antidote for what we gave you, and its effects have not been thoroughly tested.”

“Meaning what?” I asked.

“Meaning if you truly want to take him with you, there are some uncertainties that you will have to face.”

“He can stay with me?” I asked, relieved. I wasn’t so sure what Tanaka was saying was true. He could be biding his time, waiting to gather reinforcements to better control Axel. It was so obvious he was just trying to not meet the same fate as Dr. Lawry.

Tanaka went over to his briefcase, returning with an envelope. “Take this. It contains his birth certificate, social security card, and other government papers.”

“You’re serious?” I questioned.

“Yes, I’m sorry for the trouble. I regret having gotten you involved.” He looked from me to Axel nervously. “And I am sorry for this, amongst everything else, but I have to make sure I leave here in one piece—Palos Verde Blue!” Axel hit the ground. I watched as Jomei Tanaka grabbed his few belongings and rushed from the laboratory.

This chapter in Axel’s life had finally come to a close, at least for now—hopefully forever. I held onto the envelope containing his documentation and smiled. My neck was sore. I sat on the floor next to Axel and rested my head on his chest. His heartbeat was even and steady. I was so relieved.

Whenever he came to, we’d find our way out of this warehouse and back to my apartment. I’d ace all my finals and we’d celebrate with a large dinner. He’d meet my mom and dad and all of my friends. I’d finish college and help Axel get started in school or a job. We’d be together, and things would be okay. I would never feel inadequate again.

I was glad I found him chewing on all of my peach bubble gum, naked, and as weird as the project he had been a part of.

The End!

[starabsol]

okay so this is like a rant and questions and shit i have on my mind about pokemon advanced/contestshipping because i can

something that has always confused me is— where the HELL did solidad come from? during the entirety of the hoenn contest circuit we never saw her, neither in the entirety of the kanto circuit UNTIL the grand festival. and you can go and counter this with a “she only started participating in contests during the kanto circuit” which like, yes, is reasonable. there’s one thing that very much bothers me though. in the spontaneous combusken episode brianna (who looked up to drew) literally STATED may was the only female coordinator he had respect for. and she is OBSESSED with him, and watched all of his contests, by the way. and then, SOLIDAD COMES IN??? HUH??? atp i’m convinced solidad was like a last minute decision to say some shit about drew because obviously he ain’t the character so do so himself, and that feels so wrong to me. like her only reason of existence in the anime is just to spill stuff from drew’s past or whatever.. you could’ve introduced her sooner, and then later it could’ve been like “woah! she knows DREW?” but no she just came out of nowhere and that was it. ok so that’s point one

secondly, why did they only reveal the reason harley dislikes may so much is at the END of the kanto circuit? a whole ass season after they even met? like we get convinced in the beginning he just hates this girl because he called his pokemon scary and didn’t go all crazy over his cookies, and then like bam this girl that looked like her stole his cookies and that’s why he’s so angry. so what was the point of the first reason he hated her so much..??? and with this you could counter “well he didn’t recognize her yet” would be fair except they look exactly the fuckinf same, OR “he just kept it to himself” which i find not so fitting as harley, each time we get a shot of him just doing his own thing, he talks to himself and is just constantly rambling about. so if he DID recognize her, i feel like he would’ve said at least SOMETHING about that.

thirdly, why the hell was drew in only 2 contests along with may? ONLY FUCKING TWO leading up to both of the grand festivals. which like, all right, i do understand, they want their battles to be long awaited and heated, totally fair. but it feels so wrong to call him a main rival, if, out of quite a few contests she participated in, she only battled him face to face once, in her first contest. the rest of the things he really only did is just keep an eye on may and make a haughty comment here and there to piss her off, and stopping harley, a few times. it’s exciting, sure, but it would’ve been so much more rewarding if may won from him after more than just two losses (in actual competitions) but, again, that’s the way i look at it.

fourth, this is much rather more rambling than a straight up question i ask myself every so often, but… i’ve read a shit ton of contestshipping fics. and thing i noticed very frequently is that in the stories that are written drew always has a burning hatred against harley, which feels odd. because, during the entirety of the series, the only moment he really got mad was after the whole assist commotion. the rest of the times? he laughed him off, for instance after harley lost to may in the hoenn grand festival, and in mays last contest before the kanto grand festival. "arent you smart!” and the “you better not make me any angrier drew” “back at ya” like bro this mf does not feel threatened by him AT ALL. he even complimented that he raised his pokemon very well, which, i am sure he wouldn’t have said if he hated him as much as people make out as he does. and the brianna being really fuckinf bratty and evil thing… if anything she’d seem somewhat of a sensitive and shy girl, in worst case scenario she’d call into a depression if they got together or something.

fifth, and my last question, how the hell are there enough contests to give out ribbons? aren’t there like, more than 200 participants in one grand festival? and every coordinator needs at least 5 ribbons? that means 1000 ribbons to be given out, in one year, in one region. and you have like the wallace cup thing, but it’s held every year, and the ribbon from the wallace cup can be used in any region, so that’s barely filling anything in. so where the HELL do the 999 ribbons come from? wouldn’t they have to hold like a dozen of contests? because, obviously, there’s coordinators who have less than 5 ribbons, unable to enter in the grand festival, which means there’s only more ribbons to add up to the 1000 total. and yeah, more ribbons could be given out in smaller contests in smaller towns, but there was never much mention of that. it’s just really fucking vague

that was my rant. please tell me what you think………please

[impulsivesuperrobin]

i saw a post talking about neverafter slander on twitter so i went to check it out

here are some thoughts: (keep in mind, i’m not calling anyone out or saying your opinion isn’t valid if you agree with one of these points. try to read this as a light hearted discussion, like talking about a book with a friend)

a lot of it is people saying the season wasn’t horror enough and while i agree it’s not exactly as straightforward horror as the marketing suggested i think that that’s a take that is fundamentally misunderstanding what this is. it’s the horror season of dimension 20 which is a d&d show first and foremost. it’s not going to be following the beats of a horror movie because that’s not what they’re doing. when you run a horror campaign you fold in horror elements which they have been excellent at doing especially in the eldritch and existential categories

not to make assumptions but it seems to me that a lot of people making a big fuss about this haven’t played d&d for themselves. the things i have seen suggested the most for making the season more in line with the horror people were expecting involves turning the campaign into a more dm vs players situation (which is joked about a lot in fandom but in more of a meta humor way than is being suggested). this is something that anyone who has ever played in a bad campaign knows makes it a hell of a lot less fun to play and, i’m assuming, not so fun to watch either. the point of playing d&d is to work together to tell a story, if you go into to making a campaign with the goal of making your players lose, everyone is going to be miserable and your story is going to suck.

following that, some people are ragging on brennan for forgetting details and not having the lore entirely fleshed out. as someone who does unnecessary worldbuilding for homebrew campaigns every single time, i would just like to say on behalf of dms everywhere: it’s hard! there’s so much stuff to keep track of and so little time to keep the lore straight if you want the session to keep moving smoothly, i’m sure it’s even harder when you have a limited time to film the episodes/season

and maybe it’s just me, but i love horror movies (and other media) and neverafter is about as scary as most horror movies i’ve seen. it’s definitely better written than a lot of horror movies, we get to know the characters and are fully invested in them when bad things happen. it’s sort of on the level as the hellraiser reboot imo. some people make the point that besides the body horror, there’s not enough gore/blood kinda stuff, but i think gore isn’t truly horror, especially in a spoken format. it’s more of a shock factor thing, like a verbal jumpscare

and i’ve seen people saying that the pcs are too much like heroes/they’re too capable to be in any real danger, but in a horror movie, most of the bad things happen around the protagonist(s), they’re still thrown into the shit but most of the time they make it out. horror as a genre is so ill-defined anyway that people still debate if slashers and thrillers even count. plus, how many times in a movie has a side character been forgotten or something about the lore has been off? and that’s with multiple people overseeing the production.

jumping away from the “it’s not like the horror movie i envisioned” complaints, i’ve also seen a lot of people say it’s confusing??? and tbh i’m more confused about that than the campaign. to me it’s pretty straightforward, no more confusing than starstruck at the very least.

for the big picture: it’s different factions of people with conflicting (but occasionally overlapping) goals than all need to get to macguffin in order to reach whichever goal they’re aligned with

the pcs have their own character arcs which are very clearly laid out throughout the season

the minute details are there because that’s how you make your world feel lived in

and yeah, there’s a lot of potential in the stuff they could’ve done but didn’t. but i feel like that’s the whole point, y’know? this is the story they did tell, and the thousands of other ways they could’ve told the story live on like every retelling of a fairytale.

[analogwriting]

Childhood Crush

Chapter 14: Magnesium

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.3k a/n: ayeo fuck kese amirite???? this isn't the chapter i was crying over btw also i definitely have this queued to post at like 2am bc i feel like that's my brand so i'm deffo passed out rn cause i open LMFAO next

Dead? He told everyone you were dead? Now you were even more confused than before. Why the hell would he say something like that? It only drove the question more - why the hell did he want you out of the picture? Is that why Eustass seemed to go off the deep end? Cause his level of recklessness did just suddenly spike out of nowhere. Was that when he received the false news? 

Your head was spinning but you had to focus on the task at hand. While you were running, you felt something land on your shoulder and you stopped. It was a bird - not any bird, but Myra’s bird. One she sent when she had urgent news. You couldn’t help but be nervous.

You untied the letter attached to its foot, opening it carefully and reading it. As the words sunk in, you started laughing. Was she fucking joking? “C’mon, My. You could’ve told me that from the beginning.” 

Dear y/n,

I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this in person - I just didn’t know how. So, I set up a fake mission to get you to find your brother. You always seemed hesitant to leave our island - to leave Lily and I, so I figured this was the only way to get you to reunite with him. I knew you would keep putting it off, claiming that you needed to get stronger. I hope you forgive me for lying to you.

There is no flower that we need for a breakthrough - there’s nothing in Wano that we need. I just knew your brother was there and knew you were missing him. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

My sincerest apologies,

Myra.

At the very bottom was Lily’s name written as well. You were sure she just wanted to feel included. You smiled fondly at the letter. “Oh, My. I could never be mad at you.” You pulled a pen pad and pen out of your pocket, writing a quick response before sending the bird off again. Impressive it was able to find you in all this chaos, honestly.

You made sure to let her know you weren’t mad and thanked her for everything. The whole thing was just hysterical. Myra was terrible at talking about feelings of any kind. A lot of people claimed she couldn’t feel normal emotions like a normal human, but she just couldn’t express them. She was rigid and came off cold, but you knew better. She had her own way of caring.

Obviously. She arranged a whole fake mission just to reunite you with your brother. You tucked away the letter, knowing you’d probably end up just keeping it. A keepsake along with the knife. Huh, maybe you were getting sentimental. Eh, whatever.

Well, now what? You spend a considerable amount of time looking for this damn flower that didn’t exist. And your brother is probably long gone from the place that he was at. 

You suddenly felt something jump on to you from up above, yelping as you tumbled to the ground with whatever it was. After a moment of rolling around and a few scrapes with something sharp, you pinned it to the ground.

“Dive!?” Your eyes widened as you saw the small woman struggling against your grip. “Get fucking off of me!” She cried. Confusion took over your features. “Dive! It’s me!” 

“No, it can’t be! You’re dead!” She eventually stopped struggling. That’s when you noticed her lip quivering and the tears in her eyes. “Who are you and why do you have their face?” 

You stared at her for a long moment, processing. Right. Kese told all of them that you were dead. You let out a small sigh, sitting back and letting her go. “It’s me, Dive. I don’t know why Kese told everyone I died.” She sniffled, glaring at you.

“I don’t believe you.” She slowly sat up, wincing. You noticed a cut on her arm. “Here, let me tend to it.” You reached out and she pulled away suddenly, seemingly to distrust you. You frowned. 

“Dive. I promise you. It’s me.” You tried to think of something to help your case, then you remembered. You lifted up your pant leg, showing her a clear bite mark scar. “When we met, I startled you so bad that you bit the shit out of me. I couldn’t walk right for a week.”

Dive’s eyes widened and tears started falling. “It really is you!” She threw herself into your arms as she sobbed, burying her face in your chest. You held her there, comforting her. Fuck, why did Kese do this? What the hell was his angle? 

After Dive calmed down enough, she pulled away. “So, are you coming back with us?” A soft smile spreads across your face and you nod. “Of course.” She grinned widely. “Good. Everyone is going to be so fucking happy you’re alive.”

You stood up with Dive, looking around. “I heard the captain is fighting Big Mom with that other pirate captain - we should go find them!” She pulled you down the hallway and you followed behind her. 

“Dive?” The both of you stop as you see Heat and Wire coming out of one of the many hallways that seemed to be in this maze of a place. They both tensed when they saw you. “Dive…get away from them.” You groaned, rolling your eyes. This was getting old fast. Sure, you understood why everyone was cautious but you were getting annoyed and honestly you couldn’t wait to kick some ass. Well, specifically Kese’s ass.

“No! It’s really them! The-”

“For all we know, they could be some kind of devil fruit user.”

You looked at Wire as he spoke, thinking for a moment. “Remember when we were kids? There was the snapping turtle incident? You know? The one where it bi-”

They were both over in moments, covering your mouth with their hands. “Okay! Okay!” You couldn’t help but start cackling behind their hands. They let you go, staring at you for a moment. They took you in and you sighed. “You’re making me uncomfortable,” you grumbled.

You suddenly felt them both wrap their arms around you and you yelped, almost taking a tumble to the ground, but catching yourself at the last moment. You patted their backs, keeping your own tears back. Mostly because you just missed the shit out of everyone. Besides, you knew these two for such a long time and now seeing them after being gone…

“Alright, alright,” you said, sniffling and pulling away from them. Now wasn’t the time to be sentimental - there was a wholeass war going on.

“We don’t understand…” Heat said, shaking his head. “Why would Kese tell everyone you’re dead?” Wire was just as confused. You shook your own head. “That’s what I’m going to try to figure out.” You sighed, putting your hands on your hips. You supposed you understood getting you off the ship…actually…no you fucking didn’t. Why has he been out to get you since the fucking get go?

“When the captain received that letter…” Wire frowned. You blinked. “Letter? What letter?” He looked at you. “Kese gave it to him. Apparently there was a letter sent by the lab you were at, saying that you had died on a mission. It included some newspaper clipping as well. There was a picture of you and everything.” 

Your eyes widened. A picture? How the fuck did he pull that off? Why was he going through such lengths to do such a thing? Nothing was making any fucking sense. 

“The captain went on a rampage after that,” Dive chimed in with a frown. “That’s when he ended up fighting Shanks. Shanks had tried to stop his rampage and the captain lashed out at him and…well…” She shrugged, assuming you knew the rest. You frowned, indicating that you did, in fact, know the outcome.

“Killer also seemed to change quite a bit. He wasn’t the level headed vice captain we all grew up with. Seemed to not have much care for what happened to him. It grew reckless… He kinda stopped cooking too. It was…” Heat shook his head. “Bad.”

You stood there, shocked. Bewildered. Dumbfounded. So, your guess was right. When your brother started to grow more reckless, that’s when he received the fake news. Also, you weren’t expecting to hear all this about Killer. Stopped cooking? You just couldn’t imagine it. But…you just couldn’t fucking figure out why. It was so weird, so confusing. What would Kese gain from all this?

“It’s so fucking good to see you,” Heat said with a large smile, hugging you again. You patted his back and smiled. “It’s good to see you guys too. I just wish you all didn’t think I died. That’s definitely making everything much harder.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you pulled away from Heat.

“Well, let’s head to wherever Tungsten is now. I saw him earlier, but at this point I’m not sure if he’s fully convinced what he saw was real - same with Killer.” Their expressions were bored into your skull. Well, Eustass’. But you knew that Killer must’ve felt the same way. You could just feel it.

Wire nods. “Follow me.” And you do. You slowly find more and more crew members on the way, all of them absolutely overjoyed to see you. Gig nearly crushed you when he picked you up, sobbing as he hugged you. You almost died for real. That would’ve been incredibly awkward - surviving death allegations only to die by affection.

The only people you were missing at this point were Killer, Bubblegum, and Pomp. And the man of the hour - Kese. Though, someone mentioned he was watching the ship. Everyone seemed to be in agreement that they weren’t going to say anything to him and just let you and Eustass deal with his ass.

Eventually, you made it to the room where Eustass was fighting Big Mom. You arrived just in time to see him summon a behemoth of some kind of a machine. Your eyes widened as you watched the scene unfold before you. You’d never really watched your brother fight before, but you knew it wasn’t to this calibur. 

“Holy fucking shit,” you mumbled. “Impressive, right?” You looked over to Heat and nodded. “Yeah. When the fuck did that happen?” He shrugged. “This is definitely a newer one, but this was the only good thing that came out of…everything that happened. Awakened his devil fruit n’ all.” Your own face darkened. You still couldn’t believe that Kese just…lied to everyone. About something of that caliber too.

You needed to see this letter. To see this…picture.

While Eustass was fighting, you started patching everyone up. The lot of you stayed out of the way and you figured there was a better way to pass the time besides just sitting and watching. The fight seemed to be almost over anyway. With the amount of yelling and big attacks happening, you knew the fight was drawing to a close. 

“Aren’t you worried, y/n? You seem rather calm about the fight right now,” Wire said. You looked at him, shaking your head. “Says the man who never shows any kind expression.” You snorted before answering his question. “I’m not worried in the slightest though. I have faith in my brother. They’ll win.” 

It wasn’t long after that that he had done just that. They won. You head over to your brother with the rest of the crew, cries and shouts to be heard. You stop next to him, kneeling down and smiling. “Good job, Tungsten.” You started to patch him up quickly. He just stared at you. “You…really are back, Bigs? It wasn’t a sick delusion earlier?” You shook your head. He let out a breathless chuckle as he seemed to process it, staring up at the ceiling.

“They’re really back, captain!” Dive chimed in. You saw as tears welled in Eustass’ eyes and he covered his face with his arm. “I can’t fucking believe it,” he mumbled in a hoarse voice. You didn’t say much, just working on patching him up. You knew he was more than likely crying, but he wasn’t about to display that kind of emotion. You let him be.

Suddenly, you heard a command come from a large dragon that came crashing from above. Was that Kaido? He was a fucking dragon? An order came to attack your brother and the other captain from the other crew. You stood up, pulling out your own blades as people began to run towards the lot of you.

“Like fucking hell I’ll let them hurt you.” 

Though, not much was able to happen before a large hand came down, grabbing Kaido and yoinking him right back out of the ceiling. You blinked, looking back at your brother who was sitting up. He looked just as confused as you, shaking his head and shrugging. “Luffy - I’m assuming.” You blinked. The Strawhat guy? Man, you really were missing a lot of important pieces of information right now, but you weren’t about to dwell on it.

It seemed everyone was distracted after that. A few people tried to come after Eustass, but you took them down with ease. You saw him stand up at the corner of your eye. “You better sit the fuck back down, Tungsten!” You turned around and glared at him and he returned the sentiment. “I’m fucking fine - chill out!”

“You just took a fuckin’ beating. You don’t need to be standing!” You marched back over to him, letting the others worry about what stragglers tried to attack. 

“But I won!”

“Well, that’s not what I fucking said is it?”

“What the fuck are you getting on about?”

“I’m here to patch you up, no matter the damage. Now just accept my generosity before I let you bleed out!”

“Why are you fucking yelling at me?!”

“I’m not yelling!”

Just like that - the two of you are back to your old ways of arguing. To anyone else but the crew, it probably looked like yet another fight was about to break out, but to your crew members, they couldn’t have been happier to see the sight before their eyes. They all had smiles on their faces and some of them were even laughing about it. “Finds out y/n is alive and the first thing they do is argue. They’re really related,” you heard Wire muse.

“Why the hell are you mad at me!” You shouted, drowning out background noise.

“I’m not mad - I’m just shocked!”

“Well-”

“Well what? What could you possibly have to say now? More yelling? You’ve done enough of that!”

“I’ve got two years’ worth of scoldings to catch up on!”

“What the fuck does that mean!”

“It means-”

“Alright.” A third party interjects as you suddenly feel yourself being lifted off the ground. “Killer!” you shouted, immediately beginning to squirm. Eustass just laughed at you. “Ha! Serves you right for yelling for no reason!”

“Just ‘cause ass is in your name don’t mean you gotta act like one!” you shout from over Killer’s shoulder as he carries you away from your brother.

“Oh my fucking god - there are two of them,” you hear a voice say. Your eyes land on Trafalgar Law who looks absolutely horrified at the scene before him. You flip him off. “Mind ya business, asshole.” 

“Real threatening coming from the person being lugged around like a sack of potatoes.”

“Why you fuckin- Killer let me at him!” You start struggling only to feel his grip on you tighten and you immediately give up.

“Absolutely not.” 

He does, however, finally put you down once there’s distance in between you and your brother. You dust yourself off and straighten yourself out with a sigh before folding your arms. You looked at Killer with a small glare. “I was just trying to help,” you grumbled. 

Then you heard it. You fucking heard what haunted you from your encounter in the snow. You tensed as the laugh rang through the air and your head snapped up, looking around for that deranged swordsman.

It fucking hit you like a fucking freight train.

Your eyes widened as you slowly looked at Killer, whose shoulders were shaking along with the haunting laughter. “Killi?” Your voice was soft as you slowly walked towards him. He stepped back and you paused for a moment. You looked over to your brother whose attention had also been grabbed by the sound of Killer’s new haunting laughter. It seemed to reverberate in a way that stuck with you.

It was hollow and emotionless. Not like the genuine laughter that it used to be. This was not the laugh you had fallen in love with. It was a twisted ghost of something you once enjoyed.

“Killer, what happened?” Before really thinking, you outstretched your arm towards his helmet but he quickly grabbed your arm - which happened to be the bandaged one and you hissed softly, pulling your arm away. He paused in his own movements as well.

His own hand reached out and took your arm gently, looking at your bandages. “Did I do this?” You looked at him, confused. Wait…was that shot in the dark theory you had true? You assumed he was just affected by whatever that swordsman was infected with. Was Killer and that swordsman the same person?

“No? It was some crazy swordsman in-”

“I did this…” You could hear the realization in his voice as it also hit you, but you’re still in denial. There was no way they were the same person. The dead look in his eyes. The look of bloodlust and just…

“Killer, no-”

“I did.” He ripped off his helmet and you gasped - mostly just out of shock from his sudden movements. You looked up at him with wide eyes. The bandages were gone, yes. But that smile, that haunting, empty smile stretched across his face. It looked absolutely painful. You reached your hands up towards his face and he pulled back, that damn cackle ringing out from him.

You caught his face in your hands anyway, brushing his hair out of his face to get a whole view of him. “What did they do to you?” Your voice was soft as you looked up at him. You watched as he cackled, the smile and the noise not matching the pure sadness his eyes were portraying. You saw the tears forming in his eyes. He was clearly in pain. Surely it wasn’t comfortable to have your face stretched and contorted in such a way permanently.

There had to be something someone could do about this.

Before you could say much more, Killer pulls away, putting his helmet back on his head. Eustass joins the two of you and you look at him. “What the fuck happened?” Your brother blinks as the blame of your conversation was pointed at him. He just holds up his hands in a surrender-like way.

“It wasn’t his fault, y/n…” You look back at Killer. “I’ll…explain later.” You stare at him for a moment before looking at your brother who also has a dark expression on his face. You nod, looking back at Killer. “Fine. I’ll let it be - for now.” “We have something to take care of anyway.” The two of them nod, knowing exactly what, or who you are referring to.

[thepunkmuppet]

sorry for saying i was going to live blog my reactions to the show, i over-estimated my attention span and under-estimated my excitement lmao

anyway so um What The Ever-Loving Fuck

ineffable bureaucracy is… real?? like really actually real?? what the fuck?!?!! i thought it was just a crack ship but i guess neil saw it and went huh that’s pretty nice actually because THEYRE REALLY ACTUALLY REAL OH MY GOD. i will say despite being really cute, i thought they were a bit cringe at the end, it could’ve been less lovey dovey because those characters just… aren’t? like that?? but the buildup with them meeting up was absolutely GORGEOUS and so cute and so romantic and just… yeah i love them. i think they probably would have been a bit more awkward / reluctant to admit feelings rather than “baby i love you so much you are my heaven you are my hell my darling sweet beloved” but hey. they were cute. NEW SHIP LET’S GO

nina and maggie were really really cute because of the actresses’ chemistry but pretty underdeveloped in my opinion. still i really enjoyed when they were on screen together, i just had different expectations (i was expecting like a romcom, azriaphale and crowley trying to put them together throughout the season, which was eluded to but then just… didn’t happen i guess). still they were very sweet and i really really liked them

saraquel is great, michael’s hair was terrible, uriel is the hottest character, beelzebub’s new look was cool as fuck, i love the repeated gag of that one demon who just seems to have infinite versions of himself and REECE SHEARSMITH DEMON CHARACTER LET’S GO!?!?!! i was not expecting him to have a significant role again and he was so good, furfur is literally amazing and as an inside no 9 fan seeing him and steve pemberton was soooo much fun

we’re all agreeing that the flashbacks were the best part right?? because they were the best part

shax is my silly little pathetic little skrunkly who talks like a constipated snake and looks like a milf wearing leather that squeaks when she moves. truly a blorbo to behold

crowley’s confession was the most perfect in-character thing i have ever seen and i am SO happy with the way it was written and performed, him almost crying and then grunting in frustration i just i can’t i w AAAAAAAAA IT WAS PERFECT

aziraphale’s realisation was also perfect. sheen is so freaking good at being adorable and smitten

the plot was… odd. every actor was amazing, the visuals were amazing, the jokes were hilarious, every episode was extremely enjoyable to watch… but it just felt a little half-baked to me. every scene was tight and again, really fun, but the overarching plot was kind of…??? i’m not a professional writer by any stretch of the imagination but i’m allowed to have an opinion, and my opinion is pretty damn mixed when it comes to the season arc. there’s obviously going to be a season 3 (i say, literally begging neil gaiman on my knees while screaming and sobbing) and so i think season 2 felt so slow and uneventful because it’s supposed to be a kind of bridge between big plotlines. because so much interesting stuff was picked up and then simply put down again. or kind of just… left to float aimlessly in the air and make me confused as to why and how some of it even happened. but honestly i trust neil and the other writers and creatives so… season 3 here we come! overall i really enjoyed it a lot, but the (modern day) plot was just a bit of a weird one for me

AND FINALLY TO ADDRESS THE FUCKING ENORMOUS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. IF I HAD A GODDAMN NICKEL-