#and I'm over here like YES! I LOVE THESE HIJINKS! Back to thinking about a slow day where nothing much happens!!

[bumblingbabooshka]

Voyager should have had an episode where the show turned into a cooking manga for a while and Neelix just cooked a dish with each member of the crew and we would learn more about them as characters + their culture

[chiriwritesstuff]

The Girl in IT - 7. The All Hands Meeting

A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU

The LIST │ Series Masterlist

Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)

Chapter Summary: A look into a typical day at Miller Construction Group. Chaos ensues (naturally).

Chapter Warnings and Tags: No outbreak AU, Boss x Employee Relationship, Sugar Daddy Lite, Smut, SO MUCH SMUT, Age Gap, Older Man/Younger woman, So much dirty talk, Office sex, Desk sex, Inappropriate usage of PowerPoint, Tommy fucks around and finds out, No Beta we die like men!

Word Count: 4.4K

A/N: And the hijinks are back! I wanted to try something new this week, and it was the perfect opportunity to showcase all of our fun supporting characters in 'The Girl in IT'! I thought what better way to introduce everyone was to include their commentary, like an episode of 'The Office'! This one is a doozy, and I hope you all enjoy!

#MCG ADMIN 50 members Sarah (HR) Good morning, Team! I hope you're all doing well. I'd like to announce a mandatory All-Hands HR Meeting today at 11 am in Conference Room A, co-facilitated by Tess and me. We'll have a brief presentation, and for those working remotely, please log into Zoom to join the meeting. Following the session, thanks to Bill, we'll have lunch and refreshments provided. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions. Looking forward to seeing all of you soon! Tommy  Sarah, are you gonna bust your Papi's balls in front of everyone for posting that naughty photo? 💀☠️🪦 Frank (Interior Design) Will there be an opportunity for discussion following the presentation? I'm eager to delve into the minds of SlackGate and understand the motivations behind their actions the other day. Connie (Reception) It's clearly because they're fucking, Frank. 🍆🍑🦪 Frank (Interior Design) Who is? Our fearless leader and our shy girl in IT? Until one of them makes it official, it's just hearsay! Is this meeting a hard launch for a new power couple? 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 Sarah (HR) Yes, there will be an open-forum discussion after my presentation but NO, we will not be talking about the events of the other day in detail. Connie, this is a professional space and we will conduct ourselves as such. Connie (Reception) Why am I always being singled out?? Frank started it! Frank (Interior Design) Did I not professionally conduct myself? Geez Connie, I'm not the one sending nudes to our Boss when clearly, he has a girlfriend. Wait. Oops? (Sorry Connie 🤡) Bill (Civil) Frank! What do I have to do to get you to behave for once? Frank (Interior Design) Oh, I could think of a few ways... Why don't you come and find out once you're done handling your bratwurst out there? Sarah (HR) I don't get paid enough for this shit.

"Thank you, everyone, for coming together at such short notice. While I'm aware this all-hands meeting was abrupt, recent events in the past few days have made it essential. Tess and I genuinely appreciate your presence as we address these important matters," Sarah says with a bright smile, handing out materials. "Here's an updated Employee Handbook with a few edits. I thought it would be beneficial for us to go through it together. Are there any questions before we begin?"

"Yeah!" Tommy exclaims from the back of the room, his feet casually resting against the edge of the table. "How long until we get to the part of this meeting where we discuss just how much of a bad boy your Daddy was the other day?"

Tommy Look, I love my brother, I do. He's always so serious, so noble, providing for everyone and all that, making sure we have a roof over our heads. Shit, he's gotten me out of a lot of binds in my life- [He looks a bit uncomfortable and clears his throat, nodding.] ... anyway, it's a rare thing to see my brother slip up like that, you know? Didn't think he had it in him, honestly. It's been a few decades since I've seen his twig and berries, but shit, I know he's packing! He's a Miller, for fucks sake!  [he puffs his chest out a little at that, chuckling to himself] But Sugar? She's been a fucking godsend! Never in my life have I seen my big ol brother act a fool, especially over a woman! What can I say? It's great to not be the fuck-up brother for once! I'm gonna milk out SlackGate til the end of time!

"Tommy," Joel warns through his teeth, glaring at his brother. "Cut it out."

Sarah rolls her eyes in response as she fiddles with her laptop, the projector behind her illuminating with her PowerPoint presentation. "Like I was saying, this presentation is just going to go over the changes we have implemented in the last few days, including proper Slack etiquette and conduct. You would think that as grown adults, we would know better than sending inappropriate images and messages through company property and time," she clears her throat, glancing over at Joel, then to Tommy, who winks in her direction knowingly. "...including those who decide to engage and participate in unsanctioned secret channels-"

Frank's hand suddenly shoots up, his face awash in mock outrage. "I'll have you know, the watercooler channel serves a purpose, folks! When I caught wind of this 'secret channel' gossip circulating among the Nosy Nancies in the breakroom, I was appalled! Who would dare to stoop so low—"

"Frank, you invited me to the chat just this morning," Jesse remarks, casually holding up his phone as evidence. "It's titled 'Frank's-secret-slack-chat.' I thought it was some kind of exclusive club or something."

Frank Hi, [waves to you] is this on? Yeah? Hi. I'm Frank.   Listen, Sarah was getting a little too vigilant about monitoring Slack ever since Tommy sent us a little treat last year [he laughs] so I had to do something about it, you know? [It pans out to Frank leaning against his desk chair, typing away on his secret Slack Chat.] The chat started as an open forum for discussion on the everyday going-ons of Miller Construction Group. Do we just so happen to discuss the private lives of our peers? Maybe. Do we mean any harm by it?  [He gives you a wicked smile] Maybe.

"You guys, you know, the longer I keep getting interrupted, the longer we're all going to stay here in this conference room, and the longer we have to wait to eat Bill's food. You know how he is," She looks outside of the window, the smoke from Bill's grill swirls like a plume as he flips over a juicy steak. "He hates it when he has to serve his food cold. As I was saying, it should be obvious that we shouldn't be sending inappropriate images or photos to one another through Slack or e-mail."

"Hey! It was just one time, and it was an accident!" Tommy retorts, "Besides, it was hardly inappropriate, I was just only trying to show Maria this weird rash I got-"

"What does that mean, anyway?" Connie cuts in, casting a glance your way. "Inappropriate photos? And is there a difference between accidentally sending them or doing it on purpose?"

"Yeah," you shoot her a pointed look. "Sending nude photos to someone who doesn't want them is actually considered sexual harassment," you say, raising your voice a bit and turning in your seat. "I mean, you could get arrested for that, Connie," you add with a sing-song tone, a smirk playing on your lips as you glance at her. "You have nothing to worry about though, right?" you challenge, rolling your chair towards Joel, and taking his hand in his. "Not unless you did send naked photos to my boyfriend?"

Connie Look, I didn't know that Mr. Miller and Sugar were boning. I know how this looks- like I don't believe in girl code or something. I am a girls girl! If Sugar was just forthcoming about who gave her those damn hickeys before SlackGate happened, I wouldn't have sent her boyfriend nude photos of myself! A girl's gotta try, you know? I was only trying to shoot my shot! [She looks a bit uncomfortable, picking at a hangnail.] ... but you have to admit, Mr. Miller is H-O-T hot. God. I love me a graying man in flannel. I always thought to myself, there must be a story here. How does a millionaire who looks like that be single all this time? does he have anyone? is it a sugar baby? does he have a secret love child? I mean-  [she looks over her shoulder where Joel is, arms around his chest as he winks at Sugar. There's a hint of jealousy in Connie's eyes.] Is it true, though? Is it really sexual harassment if I send unsolicited photos of myself? Do you think he's gonna press charges? 

"It's true. Sending unsolicited photos of yourself to unsuspecting parties is sexual harassment, Connie. Not to mention creepy," Sarah winces, shooting you an apologetic smile. "So please don't be sending any photos of that nature to anyone that you work with, especially not in the admin group Slack."

"Yeah, Joel!" Tommy chides. "Keep that shlong in your pants, brother!"

Sarah You would think that working for my family is a cakewalk? Please. I've been diagnosed with IBS and GAD since I started working here five years ago. I sometimes take half an edible just to make it to lunchtime.   [Her head rests on her desk, and as the events of SlackGate unfold, an endless barrage of messages from the admin Slack channel floods her monitor. She can't help but groan in response.] Listen. I love my Dad. I've never really had to worry about his behavior at work before, not like how I have to with Uncle Tommy... but what the hell was he thinking? I can't unsee that! What if Ellie was on that chat? Could you imagine the trauma? My trauma?

"Okay, let's turn to page 12, where we'll go over all the recent updates," Sarah announces, clicking through her PowerPoint. A collective gasp echoes in the room as the slide projects onto the screen, revealing an image – the image of Joel. However, where his exposed package would be, an eggplant emoji tastefully takes its place. It resembles one of those generic memes easily made with a phone app, complete with the semi-imposed words 'Keep Calm and Shlong On!' in big bold letters.

"Shit!" she exclaims, hurriedly pressing the ESC button as she tries to close out her PowerPoint. She slams her laptop shut, the tell-tell sound of a crack echoing throughout the conference room. You hear Tess silently scoff in the distance, and Sarah closes her eyes in embarrassment as the room falls silent.

... and then, all hell breaks loose.  

Tommy is beside himself, his face red, and his eyes filled with tears as he doubles over in laughter, clutching at his middle. "Shit, Henry! When I asked you to do this, I honestly didn't think you had the balls to go through with it, but I so owe you, my man!" he exclaims, enthusiastically high-fiving his nephew-in-law. "This is the best fucking day of my life!"

"Henry?!" Sarah exclaims, her face flushed with rage. "This is what you needed to do in the office at 6 am this morning?!"

Henry's expression crumbles as he witnesses his wife's ire, suddenly realizing that he's just dug himself into a deep hole. "Sarah," he stammers, attempting to regain composure. "This isn't what it looks like—"

Henry Yeah, Tommy asked me to put that meme into Sarah's PowerPoint last night. I would have done it at home, but Sarah doesn't like to bring her laptop home, you know, work-life balance? So I had to make an excuse to come to the office this morning. Was it a dumb ass idea? Yeah, probably. Did I kind of want to get back at Sarah's dad for making my life a living hell? [He looks at you awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.] Honestly, when you're like five beers in, drinking with Tommy- everything seems like a good idea. He dared me, you know? Said that I'm such a simp, trying to always please Joel. Called me a fucking pussy and everything! What else was I supposed to do? Sarah's going to kill me, huh? Do you think that she's gonna ask for a divorce?

"It's a meme. A meme of my Dad's dick pic with AN EGGPLANT EMOJI?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??! WHAT DID YOU MEAN FOR IT TO LOOK LIKE?!" she screams, pulling at her hair. "AND YOU, TOMMY MILLER!" she points at her uncle furiously, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!"

"Baby," Henry replies, his hands raised in an attempt to calm her down. "It's just a harmless prank, look—"

"No, you look, Henry! Does it seem like it's just a harmless prank?" she gestures to the room, her eyes wide. "Don't even think about coming to bed tonight. I can't even look at you! How dare you collaborate with Tommy, do you really want to go this way? Because I see you fucking around, and you're about to find out-"

"Oh come on, Sarah! you know these all-hands meetings are dull as fuck, I don't even know why you even bother, no one ever listens anyway!" Tommy exclaims, looking around the room. "Isn't this fun you guys? Come on, lighten up! It's not like y'all haven't seen my dick before! Your Papi's gonna live another day, I think we should all feel as comfortable as we want, fuck the rules!"

"...but Joel's is much bigger than yours!" someone yells amid the chaos, laughter, and banter echoing through the room. Sarah looks around helplessly in a panic, trying to grasp the situation unfolding.

"Hey! I'll have you know that I ain't small!" Tommy yells in retaliation.

"Do you think that this is helping, Uncle Tommy? I'm beginning to believe that the only reason why people don't take me seriously is because of all of the shit that you pull!" Sarah groans, looking like she's at the end of her rope. "I could mention that Tess is helping me facilitate this meeting to scare everyone but she's just off to the side, pretending to not be drinking under the table!"  

Tess [She is sitting off to the side, smiling to herself as the chaos ensues, shaking her head.] I am drinking, because who else thinks it's appropriate to call an all-hands meeting first thing in the morning? I don't even want to be here. It's so fucking pointless, trying to get these shitheads to conform to a set of rules.   [She witnesses Joel storming up to Tommy, his face full of rage and irritation, finger pointed right at him.] This is the consequence of hiring friends and family, isn't it? I tried to tell them it was a bad idea, but who's listening to me? I get it, everyone thinks I'm a bit of a bitch, and well... yeah, I am. Alright, time to rein this in— [She suddenly stands from her seat and walks over to Sarah, who appears to be disassociating into madness.]

"HEY!" Tess bellows, clapping her hands together. The room abruptly falls silent, Joel's hands frozen mid-grab on Tommy's flannel. Forty-eight pairs of eyes pivot towards Tess, a blend of shock and embarrassment spreading across their faces, reminiscent of children caught sneaking cookies from the jar by their mother. "Okay, that's enough!"

Her eyes are narrowed, hands on her hips. "This is what's going to happen. You're going to stop sending each other dick and tit pics through Slack, because as much as it is amusing," she smirks, winking at you, "I would really rather not have to deal with the fallout that comes with it," she shoots a pointed look at Connie, whose eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.  

"The next time someone tries to fuck around and find out? I'm going to take that dirty photo, print a thousand fucking copies of it and stick that shit all over the office. Every fucking inch, every fucking nook and cranny is just gonna be dick and tit central," she paces around the room, placing a warning hand on Frank's shoulder. "As for this secret Slack chat, I'm going to give you all one chance to come clean. If you don't, and Sugar's report doesn't match who outs themselves right now," She scans the room, a smirk on the corner of her mouth appearing in satisfaction. "Yeah, you didn't think that we were monitoring that shit, huh? Well, I'll throw you all a bone: raise your hands if you are in this secret group chat, and I'll consider not docking your pay for insubordination. Your choice."

Frank [Looking at Tess as she slightly stumbles from where she's standing.] Yeah, she's toast.

The majority of the room begins to raise their hands, except you, Tess, Joel, and surprisingly, Frank.

Tess scoffs. "Really Frank? Really?"

"I have no clue what you're trying to imply, and seriously Tess? Are you really going to play that card? Are you going to dock your pay too?" Frank retorts. "I mean, just last night, you were drunkenly telling me that you heard Joel and Sugar-"

"If you utter another word, I'll fire you on the spot, Frank!" Joel shouts from across the room. "I mean it this time!"

Joel and Sugar [Joel wraps his arm around your waist, leaning in to kiss your forehead while gently pushing a strand of hair behind your ears.] There, that's better. Don't hide your face, Mami; you're too beautiful to be hiding all of that, okay? Right, [he clears his throat.] You would think that people would be a little more professional around here, show me a bit of respect— [His gaze shifts to Tommy, who's engaged in laughter and banter with the team, his chest puffed out in triumph. Joel glares at him, shaking his head.] I'd like to think I try really hard to be a good boss. I pay fairly, I allow remote work, and damn it, I take pride in offering the best employee benefits in all of Austin. We even take a company trip to Hawaii every year, for fucks sake! [You squeeze his hand, pressing a kiss to his temple as he takes a frustrated breath.] Papi, if it means anything, I think you're the best boss any of these folks could ever ask for. They don't deserve you. [Joel nods.] Look, I don't know what to tell you. I got the ride of my life that morning, my sweet Mami riding my cock just right, you know? I would have been okay, going into my meeting with blue balls, just as long as Sugar got hers. Your pleasure is my pleasure... but I was just so fucking horny! I started to work out, yeah? Wanted to keep shit tight for my baby, and fuck, I was... what do they young kids say?   Feeling yourself? [Joel nods again, smiling at you.] Yeah, 'feeling myself' or whatever. Anyway, I was in the meeting, and you messaged me, right? saying that you weren't going to be in for lunch? and I don't know if was the disappointment, or if I was just too horny, but fuck. I quickly excused myself and took a quick dick pic in my bathroom. I thought I was in the right Slack channel... so I sent it, and then the guys at The H Group asked me a whole bunch of questions, and then an hour later- Chaos. The messages kept flooding in! Frank was asking about how long I was, and Connie was sending me nude photos of herself- in my fucking office! Wait, what? [Your gaze meets Connie's, nervously seated as Frank goes on and on beside her. Her hands twitch like a possum that just got run over by an 18-wheeler. Yeah. Squirm for me, you think to yourself.] Yeah! And I just sat there, in shock, you know? Like this is the kind of shit that Tommy pulls, and I couldn't believe that I was so fucking stupid! Can you imagine the kind of therapy Sarah's gonna need? What if Ellie saw this?

"Who's up for some snacks?" Tommy calls out to the team, holding a basket filled with rather sizable cucumbers, bananas, and eggplants. "Help yourselves, compliments of Joel!"

Ellie  [at the job site across town, hard hat fixed crookedly on top of her head.] Yeah, I saw it. There is not enough bleach in this world that could ever erase that image from my existence.   [she glares at Sam, who just shrugs.] Thanks a lot, asshole!

"Alright, you degenerates!" Bill booms, bursting through the conference doors wearing a 'Kiss the Cook' apron, tongs in one hand, and a tray piled high with thickly cut steaks in the other. "This steak isn't going to eat itself!" 

The team swarms Bill like seagulls spotting a tasty piece of bread on the boardwalk. Tommy grabs a t-bone with his bare hands, biting into it with the enthusiasm of a caveman.

"Hey," Joel whispers to you, his shoulder gently bumping yours. "Want to help me with something?" You nod eagerly as Joel swiftly guides you out of the conference room, heading towards the executive offices. You giggle as Joel ushers you into the room, pulling you into a kiss, his foot playfully kicking the door shut.

He moves the both of you over to where Tommy's desk is, pushing aside its contents off the tabletop in one fell swoop, the items clattering onto the floor. "Papi, what are you doing?" you ask cheekily as he bends you over the desk, lifting your skirt.  

Joel growls and shoves you down onto the desk, his hands harshly grabbing onto your hips. Your arms scramble to find purchase as you knock over a framed photo of Tommy and Maria, watching helplessly as the image of their smiling faces falls onto the floor. His palm travels across your back, pinning you in place as he fiddles with his zipper with his other hand. "Line item 6," Joel murmurs as his hands begin to travel across the globes of your ass, squeezing and spreading and slapping them until you're so wet you can feel it dripping down your thighs.  

Joel hums in appreciation. "Thats right Mami, get nice and wet for me, okay?" You can feel him pump his cock against you, notching his head at your entrance. "You gonna make a nice mess for me, baby?" he asks through gritted teeth as he strokes through your folds with his dick.

"Yesss," you moan, pushing your ass back toward him.  

Joel pushes into you to the hilt in one brutal thrust as you cry out, grabbing onto the edge of the desk as he begins to pound into you in earnest, his thrusts so hard and punishing that the desk begins to rattle. You squeeze your eyes shut as Joel gathers your hair in his hand, pulling you back towards him. "Fuck baby, I'm gonna come so fucking hard, fill this pussy up and watch as it drips out of you, maybe fuck you again if we still have time-"

You gasp, taking a deep breath as his thrusts become so erratic it pushes you up the desk, lifting one leg onto the surface as Joel angles himself higher, hitting a spot so deep within you that you bite your lip from crying out, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention. You squeeze around his cock as you chase your high, hoping that Joel can maintain his composure long enough so you both can finish together. "No Mami, stay with me, come with me-"

He leans over you, pressing you onto the desk as he grabs onto your shoulders, pounding into you, his breath hot against your neck as he buries his face into it, huffing from exertion. "I'm so close Mami, I'm gonna... Fuck!" He bites your shoulder as he cums in one last brutal stroke, his hands harshly grasping your thighs as you feel his hot spend flow deep into your belly. You rock your hips onto him as his hand goes to your clit, rubbing until you are weak in the knees, your body trembling beneath his. "Fuck Joel," you say a little breathless as you slump onto the table as Joel pulls out of you, his finger probing into you as he pushes his leaking cum back where it belongs. "Come on, lets clean this up and head back before they notice-"

Joel just snorts as he zips up his jeans. "No," he replies nonchalantly as he catches his breath. 

"No?" you ask as you straighten yourself up, frowning at him.  

"Line item six says I bend you over his desk and leave a little souvenir," he motions to the mess on the floor, pens and papers scattered about.  

"He's going to fucking murder you, Joel," you chuckle, pulling him into a kiss.  

"Yeah? Well, he shouldn't have fucked around, because he's about to find out." He simply replies, taking your hand in his. "Come on, little Mami, quickly now, before he realizes we're gone..."

You share a laugh as he guides you back into the conference room. Bill raises an eyebrow at both of you, handing over a plate with steaming steak, as if he just finished cooking it. "I thought I'd save your lunches for last, figured you guys needed some extra time," he says, clearing his throat and nodding towards Tommy, who seems entirely oblivious to your brief disappearance. "You know Tommy, can't resist a good piece of steak," Bill continues, gesturing at Joel. "It's like everything around him disappears for a moment; you could rob him blind, and he wouldn't even notice," he adds with a small smile, placing a hand on Joel's shoulder and giving him a knowing look. "Enjoy your lunch, you two."

Bill Look, I wouldn't call myself a nosy person, but I am perceptive.   [He glances at Frank whispering and giggling to Connie off to the side, rolling his eyes.] Look at them. They think that they're the eyes and ears of this operation, but what they don't know, is that I. Know. Everything. I am a survivalist. I gather intel on all of my surroundings, even if I am surrounded by absolute morons.   [Bill takes another sip of coffee, subtly glancing around him before making eye contact with you, the reader, once more] So if you want to know the real scoop, the real ins-and-outs of this company, and not have to deal with the lunatics in Frank's not-so-secret shit talk club, come to me, I'll set you on the right path. At least I have snacks.   [He looks off to you and Joel, giving a curt nod as he starts to cut into his own steak.] As much as I respect Tommy, he's not the one signing my checks at the end of the day. If there's anything that I value more than anything, it's loyalty. I don't like to play around, hate it when people bite the hands that feed them. People like that need to be taught a lesson. Joel's a good man, and sometimes, we fuck up... but it's how we handle ourselves after the fact that matters. If that means I help out an old friend, well- [he smiles as Tommy walks towards the conference room doors, heading back to his office. Bill smiles out into the distance.]

Taglist: @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat @gwendibleywrites @brittmb115 @joeldjarin @drewharrisonwriter

@littlebunnybigheartfics @missladym1981 @auteurdelabre @quicax3 @casa-boiardi

@amyispxnk @untamedheart81 @paleidiot @laurrrra @la-vie-est-une-fleur29

@bbiophiliaa @thewiigers (I apologize if I missed anyone, but if you are looking for any of my fic updates, please feel free to follow my updates blog @chiriwritesstuffnotifs!)

[barrenclan]

Can’t stop thinking of a Have You Seen My Sister Evelyn AMV/MAP of Pinepaw and Daffodilpaw looking for their sister. It starts out silly- cartoon art style, Pine and Daff asking various Clanmates on where they saw Asphodel last, lots of hijinks and slapstick, etc. Over the course of the song, the landscape gets progressively darker and more realistic, with occasional realistic shots, until at the very end the gleeful illusion is broken and it’s just BarrenClan standing over a child’s corpse

Okay, I have got to address this. This is the - fourth? fifth? - time that this song has been suggested to me with this exact idea for it. I answered the first one some time ago, and haven't answered the succeeding ones for that reason, but I cannot ignore it any longer. PATFW fans psychically communicating to each other.

I see you sliding a DreamSMP song in here, I was there. You ain't slick.

Where will you be When the sun goes dark

Where will you be When death comes knocking Oh no, where will you be

I'm always surprised how many people write songs about empty, forsaken lands! It's more popular than I thought.

There's nothing left of this day There's nothing left of this town Our time has ceased with such sorrow There's no one left here to mourn

Outside they cry, wolves in the night <- arooo.... Dark with their howls all around We'll just lie here, clothed in our sheepskin And trying to pretend there's no harm

I am going to put my two cents in and say DarkProwl.

You called, I answered Open the door, I enter The glow, the candor A feeling like no other

I wanna climb inside Be someone impolite Wanna eat you alive Should I, should I, should I?

AHHH HELP... you're not. Wrong??

This sounds like a super cute idea, with Blacknose being the singer and the bridge between Egret and Mallow.

It could be weird, but I think I'm into it You know I'm one for the overly passionate I like you, and I loved him We could all be the best kind of friends

You've got so much in common Talk about your taste in women I'll be in the middle While you two get along

Heartaches, heartaches My loving you, they're only heartaches Your kiss was such a sacred thing to me I can't believe it's just a burning memory

Heartaches, heartaches What does it matter how my heart breaks? I should be happy with someone new But my heart aches for you

Wailing... sobbing... my boys.......

Please, please be here for me dear 'Cause I've never needed a friend more And I can't stress enough How much it means to me that you're trying And I don't mind if you can't hold me like you used to 'Cause I've never hated myself more And this is just a bump in the road and I promise I'm trying

I'm trying to tear the wool from your eyes But a part of me wants to let you be 'Cause then you wouldn't see what I've become

Yes I think it would be!

Follow my moves Don't make a sound We will get past and we'll never be found Darker than blue Darker than black We will escape and we'll never come back

I can see it! Something about lost childhoods, and homes that used to be full but are now empty.

Standing in the yard, dressed like a kid The house is white and the lawn is dead The lawn is dead, the lawn is dead

Illinois toll road, Indiana plain Roll the windows down, shoot at the change Half return, half return Honey in your mouth when you gave me my name Tears in your eyes when you pull it like a chain

[changingplumbob]

Random Ramblings

If this is somehow even more long winded than I normally am (yeah it's long), it's because I'm going through an IBS flare up that is kicking my butt.

BUT I wanted to get my thoughts out about some of my content warnings, because I'm very tired and have been shoving the same one in front of my Reece/Samir parts even if they might not reflect that particular part because I'm too tired to judge how spicy warrants a spice warning.

Where to start... If you haven't figured it out, all my grown sims are currently woohoo positive, as in they do not think that how much woohoo a sim does or does not have dictates how "good" a person is. Why? Because whoever made sex synonymous with shame is stupid and has ruined many a life (it was probably a dude, no offense dudes out there).

While I don't currently have any sims that are asexual, not all my sims feel the same about woohoo.

For example Charlie and Kaori would choose a good chat over woohoo most times. Not because they don't love each other, or are averse to woohoo, but because that's who they are together. Most days they tire themselves out as athletes and prefer to relax together

Cassandra and Rahul on the other hand love to have woohoo, particularly unprotected, three kids and still not done

Keira, who rolled the soulmate aspiration, chose to wait before she had woohoo. Her high school girlfriend (Morgan Fryes) cheated on her because she wouldn't woohoo. Even after meeting Marta (her now fiance) she wanted to wait until she felt comfortable being vulnerable around her.

Then of course we have my superstar Joey who is aromantic but allosexual (a mod did that, I didn't choose it). As soon as he became a YA he got a fwb. His philosophy is basically, oh she identifies as she? Can I hit it? I love you Joey that's why I call you a slut

Normally I just chuck up a sim spice warning if there are some screenshots taken during woohoo. Me being me, I don't feel like including pixel private parts in my published posts. Kudos to all you who do, it's just not my style. It's also rare that I'll write about anything that happens during a woohoo session, mostly I'll just write some foreplay then say it happened. That said, I do like to chuck in innuendo here and there if it feels like something my sims would say (any other writers feel like they know exactly what their sims would say at times?). I'm also not in a hurry to be classified as a mature blog, purely because that doesn't fit like 95% of my gameplay. Yes, I use wicked whims for my gameplay, but that doesn't mean I'm going to show you Luna being a lowkey pillow princess... shut up brain you can't just say that

Finally, on to my babies Reece and Samir. If there are spectrum's they are at the extreme end (also in my country the age of consent is 16 so any hijinks they get up before Reece turns 18 isn't percieved as illegal here). They both enjoy woohoo, like a lot a lot. Probably didn't help that there rotation had love day in it but they both also have high woohoo drives. They were flirty most of the time, so what would they do in that state? Sweet talk each other of course.

Now, if you weren't aware and you probably weren't cause it's been ages since their last rotation Reece and Samir also have a dynamic my other sims don't. Although on reflection Bob and Eliza have it as well, just to a lesser extent. Reece, chatterbox ego that he is, is a submissive. Samir, who barely says more than a sentence to anyone but Reece, is a dominant. When together they'll often lean into these roles, using both innuendo and statements of things their partner does that they're in to. Some people would probably label things that even use those words as mature, but it's a dynamic that exists people.

Now their chapter isn't me suddenly switching to speaking in 100% innuendo, but it has more than my average writing, at least for the first half you'll understand later if you read hence the sim spice warning. Looking back on it the chapter does not contain any screenshots mid woohoo, but the dialogue makes me want to put a disclosure above the cut, since I'm still not sure of all the rules around here, and my IBS is making it hard to focus right now.

Woohoo talk done? It's done! That's what she said... shut up brain, we're not twelve!

The other warning is about sim death. No one dies in the chapter but it deals with figuring out what happened to Samir's birth parents. Previously it's been established they were killed when he was 5 but the chapter and my Samir flashback pov short bit that I am low key proud of does involve mention of blood, death, dying etc. Me being me, I do not include any screenshots of dead, dying or seriously bleeding sims, it's not my aesthetic (don't act as though you don't love playing Until Dawn, the Quarry and The Dark Pictures Anthology which is full of gore... okay yes but gore does make me queasy for the most part, could never ever watch a saw film) and things aren't described in explicit detail. But death is death and grief is complex. It can hit you at unexpected times in unexpected ways.

So why am I bothering to put content warnings at all? Still sounds pretty tame. Yeah, probably, but as mentioned, I still don't know all the rules around here. Plus I would choose for someone to not read my story and avoid seeing something that upset them, than have someone grieving a loss see my dead sims bodies on their dash because I tagged it Sims4 every time. So if you see a content warning on my post, it most often just means viewer discretion advised. Not that you'll click and get flashed by my sims.

[victimized-martyr]

I love all your kyman hc's so much!!!!😭❤ I just need to hear more, so here are my questions: if kyman got married how would they act around each other? And do you think they'd adopt kids and if yes: what would they name them? And would they raise them jewish or christian or both?

Aaahhh I know there are too many questions I'm sorry 😭😭

Don’t apologize, I love talking about kyman :D

Regardless of context, the core of their dynamic is: Cartman is the instigator, Kyle reacts, a little back and forth, escalate the issue to Nth degrees of insanity, Kyle lands the final blow. Though sometimes, depending on the issue, Kyle lands the last punch thinking he’s won, only for Cartman to win the war last minute. Another way the show’s mixed things up, is that Kyle’s victory is undermined either by South Park itself, or Cartman. I see their marriage as an opportunity to expand their unique dynamic and introduce new plotlines/ jokes that couldn’t be done if they were still kids.

I see Cartman taking Randy’s place as the adult that’s always up to no good, the fixture of South Park’s weirdness. self serving hijinks flare up just about every week. Meanwhile, the Sharon (or straight man) to offset that cannot be anyone else but Kyle. This time however, unlike the marshes, and perhaps most couples in South Park, the Brofloski’s are truly in love. That’s kinda the joke. The couple that started out insulting each other and trying to kill each other on multiple occasions end up in the happiest relationship. I see them fitting nicely among the pantheon of sitcom couples— Mitchel and Cameron, Marge and Homer, Ralph and Alice, Gomez and Morticia. Their relationship, in Trey fashion, pays homage to and in the same breath, mocks those classic couples.

TLDR, Their dynamic is in tact, it’s just evolved to a new label. Instead of sort of friends-ish, they’re a couple. They’re still loud, obsessed with each other, fight over issues, hang out and share similar tastes. Only this time they got rings on their fingers. And if they don’t fistfight, how do they deal with their classic arguments? Well, like any sensible american couple, of course! they fuck each other’s brains out! ( just kidding. I have this vision of Cartman doing the most outrageous shit and Kyle chasing him offscreen in anger, Cartman shouting “domestic abuse domestic abuse!”)

I’m not sure what they’d name their kids. Does it matter? I do know what personalities I’d like them to have though— the 1st, their oldest, is outgoing, entitled, bossy, manipulative, a performative people pleaser, makes everyone’s problems their responsibility, and is quick witted. (A 2w3) Much like Eric, they are exceptionally charismatic and love being in the limelight. And like Kyle, they love getting involved in the lives of others, seen as helpful. The 2nd child is less outspoken, prefers to keep opinions to themselves, a dispassionate observer. ( poster child for 8w9) Like Eric, they’re materialistic, and prone to laziness. Still, they are an intellectual like Kyle, and far more principled in comparison to their sibling/Eric. They’re probably the most capable and dangerous in the family. They don’t shoot themselves in the foot like Cartman, and they don’t fight against the currents of South Park like Kyle. If they wanted to, they could take over the world and succeed where the Brofloskis failed. They just don’t care though lol.

I could never, ever see them as a two religion household. Yeah, Cartman has been portrayed as a bigoted Christian (or in his words, “[used] Christianity as an excuse to be a piece of shit”), but carrying that extremity to adulthood isn’t as funny. I don’t know how to articulate that other than, many extreme right wingers on twitter weren’t able to read Cartman’s bigotry in Cupid Ye as hyperbolic and instead took it as fact, and praised the stuff he whispered into Tolkien’s ears. His actions in Cissy were recently trending and was seen as heroic and like, justification why trans ppl can’t use whatever bathrooms they want. You can’t escalate the crazy stuff from real life anymore— it’s become reality. So the funniest thing to do, is either personify it as something else or, run in the opposite direction. If anything, PC has shown us that it’s funnier that the very same kid who once belittled Judaism in fact, became devoutly Jewish and proceeded to rub it in everyone’s faces rather than him ending up as some evil businessman. You rob bigots the chance to idolize Cartman, but give Cartman the freedom to hone his brand of idiocy on other things. So! Kyle slaps the antisemitism outta him, they get married, bam. They are a Jewish family.

[and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree]

good [insert time of day here] i realised i never thought to ask you amid my delight of you being the most interactive follower i have that isnt an irl friend do YOU have ocs or blorbos. i wish to know. for reasons.

OH hello yes thank you for asking!!! I have several OCs but most of the time I simply Do Not Explain on here; I have lots of ideas and doodles but I make it mostly for myself and don't think to share — doesn't mean I don't want to tho! exhibit A: this absolutely massive post I'm about to make lmao. putting it under a read more bc Oh Boy, the floodgates have been opened

most of my OCs are for two different projects I have: The Visitors and my D&D Dark Star Campaign.

The Visitors is just a lil worldbuilding project I've been chewing on for.... oh wow, over a decade at this point??? I love all the OCs I have in there very very much, but they're definitely never intended to go in an actual story, I just enjoy the speculative biology and character / world building process.

Val is one of my oldest OCs, and she's changed SO MUCH over the years! nowadays, she's a sort of insect/dinosaur mashup alien who uses gravity warping magic and a very large axe to hunt demons. a huge issue for magic users of her species is keeping cool, as magic generates heat and can literally cook you from the inside out, so you'll notice the multiple vent-like spiracles across her body for this purpose. she was born blind and so relies heavily on her best friend, Django, to be her eyes and keep her safe. fortunately, Django has Too Many Eyes. he's a dragon genetically engineered by those in Val's species to be the perfect vessel for storing and releasing massive amounts of mirror-based magic. this kind of magic gives him many abilities, including seeing around corners, creating illusions, or multiplying attacks when applied in different ways, and he acts as Val's seeing-eye dragon. in battle, she likes to get up in the action while he holds back and gives her cues on what's happening, only jumping in himself if she's in major trouble. she's very friendly and excitable, and loves to get into the culture of whatever planet they're visiting, while he's more interested in observing and snooping. there's a lot of espionage and hijinks.

these are some of my most recent sketches of them, tho I'm sure the designs will changes in the future. specific colors don't matter at all, it's all about vibes! not pictured in the halfway colored one is Val's big iridescent black cape thing that has a slit down the middle for her rigid tail, nor her weird arms since I wanted to figure out where the torso vents could go.

Duke is another Visitor who visits planets and solves problems, but his path to get there was a whole lot different! I made him up as a coping mechanism when I was 12, and I'm still very fond of him.

he started life as a human video game speedrunner and modder prodigy. in a "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" situation, a devil (very distinct from demons!) struck a deal with him, challenging his gaming abilities with his soul as the stakes. he won despite the devil's cheating, but that's where the resemblance to the song ends. in this world, a devil winning your soul allows them to fuse with you and gain total control over your body, mind, and actions; but if YOU win, the control is reversed! and like any 14 year old who suddenly has the power to rival minor gods and a chaotic creature living in their head.... he goes off the rails for a while. Val and Django eventually find him and help him cope. his powers include electricity, glitching reality, flailing his glaive around, and being a menace to evil overlords.

you can't see it very well in this picture, but his eyes and the segments between his tail glow lime green! I'm not a fan of drawing clothes, but in my head he's relatively fashionable for a teenager and refuses to wear anything other than black. also, he decided to tell me he was trans a couple years ago, thanks for letting me know buddy 😂

my other project does actually get to see the light of day, if very slowly — I'm running a homebrew D&D campaign for my irl friends called the Dark Star Campaign! none of em use tumblr so WHEEEE I get to post all the spoilers I want! there's a kinda staggering amount of lore behind it and a ton of minor OCs, but the two I rotate in my head the most are Anya the Timekeeper and The Master, aka Armageddon.

Anya the Timekeeper is a chronomancy lich from an alternate universe! she used to help Armageddon travel the multiverse and gain power, but she's decided she's tired of being evil, and now hides in a mansion on a tropical island where she breeds dinosaurs for fun. though she's now very determined to help the party, they'll eventually have to kill her past self to prevent a paradox. her familiar is a little archaeopteryx named Trix who steals hats!

(I commissioned this art from @/goodlouse a while ago! highly recommend checking out his blog!!)

Armageddon is the BBEG and he's SO EVIL and SO MUCH FUN. he's an ancient amethyst dragon who, up until a while before the campaign's beginning, was steadily finding alternate universe versions of himself, killing them, and eating their souls to gain Unlimited Power™. unfortunately, his partner in time (hah) Anya told him to fuck off, so the quest for Unlimited Power™ has been kinda slow lately. fortunately, a D&D campaign started, and he cheated his way into existing at the players' table as The Master! my players can ask to talk to him sometimes, and I'll put on a mask of his head I made specifically for this purpose — very useful for not breaking character when the character is supposed to literally be the one sitting at the table talking to the players. I don't try to hide the fact that he's evil and they all know it, the fun is in giving them little hints and tidbits of lore to munch on. right now he's being very docile and helpful but things will get very very interesting eventually as more of his nature and plan is revealed..... =)

I'm still playing around with what he looks like as The Master, but I really like this recent design I did. his eye glows dark and menacing. I haven't found a design for his dragon form I'm really pleased with yet tho :/

okay wow thanks again for the ask, I have many many ideas in my head and it felt pretty nice to get em out!!

[purrincess-chat]

I think ml fandom has the wrong idea of ladynoir. Their bond is not only about the flirting and the banter, it's also about unconditional trust and care for each other. So when they say ladynoir is dead, I think they are mourning the lighthearted side of their relationship, forgetting it's way more complex than just Chat Noir flirting with Ladybug. And that side of ladynoir they tend to overlook isn't gone. It's still there.

You are 100% correct, nonny. People are just butthurt that Chat will no longer be making passes at her every 30 seconds of a battle, and they refuse to accept that the love square evolved in s5. Development happened all around, and things have finally changed. It's called growth. At their core, LN are still partners who trust each other, despite Adrien's absence in the finale, which was entirely to prevent him from finding out Gabriel's secret and less about him not mattering as part of the hero team. The writers just really don't want him to know likely bc they don't want to deal with the fallout but thats neither here nor there.

I for one am actually looking forward to the new love square dynamics the most in the coming seasons. It's everything else that has me concerned 🤣 I'm more worried about the threat that the 17 other permanent heroes pose to LN's screentime than canon Adrinette. Bc that was a big plot point in s4 that all of the extra heroes got in the way of LN. Lilamoth is whatever. Gabe's new world of madness is a little concerning, but I can already predict there are going to be too many fucking heroes around. It's Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir, not Tales of Ladybug, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, Carapace, Pegase, Argos... Them being temporary for a mission or two every now and then was one thing, but I am not fond of the prospect that everyone is a hero now. Idk maybe it won't be as bad as s4, but I have low hopes. I just know it's going to eat LN's screentime during battles bc it already did.

But anyway. Yes. You are right. The core of pretty much all of the sides is still there (LN are still partners, MC can still have wacky hijinks, Ladrien can still have thirsty overprotective bug bc that is her man). Adrinette obviously had the biggest glow up, but I think now that s5 is over they may scale them back since now they are an established couple. They got a lot in s5 bc they needed to establish the relationship, but now they've done that so. Idk. We will see.

[regarding-stories]

Winter Was Not An Exciting Season

When I started writing this, about 3-4 episodes had dropped for most shows that started in winter 2024 season on Crunchyroll, and I came to the conclusion there was no reason to get excited... And I think that's pretty much how it worked out. I stopped watching most of these shows at some point. Eventually I dug into the archives on Crunchyroll instead... which was much more rewarding.

I by the way never bothered with "Solo Leveling" or "Shangri-La Frontier" because I don't get what's the point with these kind of shows. OP skill this, video game that, and usually no actual stakes at all. Why bother?

Delusional Monthly Magazine

Hot trash.

Weird scientist tries to place his research in a paper that's more of an "I saw an UFO manned by Elvis" style tabloid. Lots of unconvincing hijinks happen.

Stopping point: I switched off in episode 1 when somebody suddenly developed a superpower because this is all over the place. And stupid.

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss But I'm Not the Demon Lord

Girl gets reborn as the hidden boss of a game she used to play. She decides to avoid becoming a problem and also levels up to 99, which is a level reached by no one in this world (and the limit).

It does not help that she has dark magic as attribute and the heroine of that game is a light magic user.

What's hard to bear is that she gets constantly ostracized way into episode 4. Everything she does is taken negatively and the potential love interests of the heroine (it's a dating sim) constantly stir trouble for her because everyone assumes the worst.

On the surface this is yet another show about being reborn into a dating sim, like "The World of Otome Games is Tough for Mobs" or "I'm in Love with the Villainess". Though I can't help but think that the setup is also a tongue-in-cheek about how being exceptional can get you bullied in Japan. "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down" is idiomatic there for a reason.

In general a decent show, but what kind of person is the protagonist that she doesn't understand social cues at all? I don't think that's established very well.

Stopping point: I'm not sure why I stopped watching around episode 6, there seems to be no strong reason beyond losing interest. Might revisit.

Sasaki and Peeps

Middle-aged salary man gets himself a pet bird which turns out to be a reborn wizard from another world.

What follows is a wild (and also illogical) mix of genres. He gets transported to an Isekai world and learns magic, but mainly he wants to open a business there by transporting Japanese goods there and selling them. (Yet he never figures out that he could transport gold back to pay for them - or just be rich.)

His magic then gets him recruited into a squad of psychics fighting other psychics. He's totally OP because psychics have only one ability and his magic works differently for every spell. Anyway, the show doesn't benefit from cutting across plots. It first tries to hit the "living the quiet life in another world" vibe, then goes into "everyday man thrust into the world of superpowers", and now seems to also tap into "adventuring in another world..."

Sasaki is likable enough, an innocent man, mostly, really drab and unassuming. What disturbs me is that so far all the females appearing are minors. There's a high school girl waiting for him every day next door - why? I don't want to know. His wild colleague at the agency who is a snappy dresser? Supposedly 17. (Yes, high school age.) The person he's supposed to protect next - a child beauty. (She seems important as she was given a completely "doll style" credits variation of her own.) I seriously don't want to know where this is going...

None of the GIFs here on tumblr feature the protagonist. Funny.

Stopping point: After Episode 3. After the third under-age girl appearing I was wondering how many other genres they are going to cram into this one.

Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!

Tokyo boy moves to rural Hokkaido and meets his future girlfriend, a total gyaru (gal).

Actually, he meets several, but I can't imagine this show playing out any other way. Has surprisingly little to say about Hokkaido itself except that it snows a lot and you need to keep warm.

The show has a mellow, slice of life flair but lacks originality. I actually ended watching the full season, it's an easy show to watch. The three heroines are all pleasant people that overlap with part of his life, making the harem-ish setup of all three crushing on him a bit annoying since two of them never stood a chance.

Stopping point: I actually finished this one but I must say the drama built for the last episode was a complete no-show and completely unconvincing, even by the typical "Japanese is a language of unsaid things" standard.

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

Frankly, initially this was the absolute highlight of the season. I waited for every episode.

Two talented teenagers are summoned to be the heroes saving another world. And a third, average guy, who happened to be nearby. He ends up stealing their thunder because he has the rare healing magic talent.

Surprisingly, the other two people are really decent (looking at you, "Shield Hero") and in general he's treated well. The only dramatic concern is that healing magic has found its master in his teacher, an over-the-top drill sergeant style woman.

It quickly becomes apparent that healing magic, if used wrongly, is the strongest of them all - giving you infinite stamina, instantly restoring your strength, making you the perfect tank. You just have to train like a maniac. Which our drill sergeant ensures will happen.

Stopping point: After episode 7. The show is funny and has heart up to a certain point, but somehow I lost interest, also because it's destroying its previous vibe by hinting at impending doom. Interestingly I read a review today that points to mid season being a complete drag and messing up the pacing, and the finale not saving it. I guess I'm not surprised?

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy!

A woman gets reborn into another world as a noble, only for her defining moment to repeat over and over. She turned down by her prince fiancé and basically ejected from her social status.

But this filly has spirit, and so she cuts out a life of her own successfully. Only to die in a war years later and to find herself at the same scene! Since she retains her memory she starts to pick different routes, leading various lives, picking up skills and knowledge, only to die eventually in the same continent-spanning war.

Her last time around, something odd happens. Just as she's escaping her betrothal she runs into the instigator of that war, the dark prince of the empire. And he is so taken with her, he proposes to her.

An unusual setup for sure. At some point we will likely learn what is behind the whole war business, but just watching her navigate all situations in stride is actually interesting by itself. As the title suggests, big drama is mostly absent so far ever since her "final life" started.

Stopping point: Middle of Episode 6. The mini-villain little brother turns out to be the complete opposite of a schemer and actually only wants the attention of his oniiii-chaaaan!! The whole flip was so unconvincing, I couldn't anymore. It's absolutely unclear why the guy she married does anything, including telling her to avoid his brother.

Tales of Wedding Rings

It would be hard to take this show serious at any level as it mostly exists as a vehicle to get this guy together with big-buxomed vixens for plot reasons - but there isn't much plot either.

He follows his childhood love to another world and accidentally marries her, getting the first ring of power. Then he learns he must fight off some evil led by the Abyss King. For that he has to marry more princesses.

There's no logic to the action, though. In the first kingdom he can fend off abyss monsters but gets his ass handed to him by an abyss knight. So they run off, abandoning their own kingdom?!? Then, as soon as he gets the ring from the elven princess he easily hands the abyss knight their ass without even trying. Instant wipe. So that knight keeps showing up and somehow evil rings appear and there's no rhyme or reason to the drama.

Otherwise it's pretty clear that he wants things to work out with his childhood love, but the other girls want attention, too. So another unrequited harem, badly done, too. And yes, the kingdoms they encounter are sexy elves, sexier cat people, and lolicon demon people. Expect plenty of fan service.

Stopping point: Episode 9. No special reason. The show is easy to watch, undemanding, but also doesn't deliver much. You can pick it up at any point and leave it and you won't miss much. Ironically I got mostly GIFs for "Rings of Power" when searching, and frankly, even this anime is better than that.

A Sign Of Affection

I almost forgot this one.

The heroine of the story is for all practical purposes deaf but she soon gets to know an absolute boy-hunk and wonders what these feelings are. Which she then proceeds to find out since he also likes her.

As for a story that focuses on a character with a disability, it does very little with it except her having a lot of trouble reading situations around her and the impediments of communication. And people constantly getting in her space. (Which is a necessity but unusual in Japan.)

It's certainly a high profile production for a romance, with great art.

Stopping point: After Episode 2.

In spite of being a fan of romance stories, it somehow rubbed me wrong that not only does an absolute model boy (the art is good enough that nobody needs to tell us) become immediately interested in her, he also is portrayed as this interesting character who travels abroad in a moment's notice for his studies. Mr Perfect on day 1. There didn't seem to be anything interesting to be going on at all. So I lost interest.

When looking around on the internet, in most places this show is described with one short paragraph for a synopsis. A critic compared it to "A Silent Voice", but that show needs almost a full page to have its synopsis laid out on Wikipedia - because it's a complex take on multiple topics - disability, bullying, social dynamics, and the ability to change. Somehow that strikes me as a contrived comparison.

[sushigirlali]

Bad Idea Right? - Part I (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III (Complete!)

Summary: Rey Niima realizes she may not be over Ben Solo when Hux’s social media posts show her ex-boyfriend is moving on at Poe’s Halloween party. Donning a matching costume purchased before their breakup, Rey decides to stop running and confront him. Horny Halloween hijinks ensue!

Pairings: Rey/Ben, Rose/Hux, Finn/Poe

Continuity: Modern AU

A/N: I wrote the outline for this on my phone with speech to text while stuck in traffic and listening to Olivia Rodrigo 😂 Happy spooky season, rats! I was definitely inspired by some reylo/hellcheer Halloween art I’ve seen recently as well 😛

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

——————

Bad Idea Right? - Part I

By: sushigirlali

——————

Boston, MA

Friday, October 24

——————

Hey

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months

But I'm out right now, and I'm all fucked up

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone

And I'm sensin' some undertone

——————

Rey Niima had a problem. Was it a problem of her own making? Perhaps. But it was a problem nonetheless. 

After swearing off men and dating and love for the last two months, she was lonely and bored and horny. More specifically, she was horny for her ex-boyfriend Ben Solo. It had been exactly 62 days since their breakup (yes, she had been counting), and every night without him was worse than the last. 

The urge to text him was almost overwhelming at times, but she tried to see it as an exercise in control. It made her feel a little better, to have a goal. Even if the goal was to ruin her own life.

Rey blew out an irritated breath, moving her unwashed brown hair away from her face. She really should shower and change after a long day’s work, but she just didn’t care. Flopping down on her bed in an oversized blazer and yoga pants, she wondered whether Ben was thinking about her just then as well. It was hard to focus on things like hygiene and personal needs (beyond what was strictly necessary on a mandatory zoom call) when there wasn’t anyone around to judge you. 

“Or praise you,” she thought wistfully, because Ben used to praise her for the tiniest, sweetest things…

Rolling over onto her stomach, crushing the front of her semi-professional blazer, Rey pressed her face into her battered, space-themed comforter and screamed.

——————

And I'm right here with all my friends

But you're sendin' me your new address

And I know we're done, I know we're through

But, God, when I look at you

My brain goes, "Ah"

——————

The breakup had been stupid, really. Or, she was stupid. 

Near the end of August, on the date of their four year anniversary, Ben had planned an elaborate scavenger hunt for her through the city. And at the end of the trek, there had been a box and a question. 

She could still remember the pain in his dark eyes when she refused him, the slump in his broad shoulders as he balanced on one knee, the quiver of his lips…

Rey pushed her guilt aside and focused on the other ways his lips had made her feel over the years. They were full and plush, with a tendency to hike up on one side when he grinned. And when he kissed her, sometimes she forgot her own name. And when he didn’t stop kissing her until she begged for more, slipping his lips hotly down her cheek, her throat, her breasts, her stomach… Well, she liked those memories most of all.

Stripping out of her house clothes, she tossed them onto an existing pile of dirty clothes by the foot of the bed. Ben would be horrified that they didn’t immediately go into the hamper, but again, he wasn’t around and she just didn’t care. At any rate, it wasn’t like one pile of junk was going to ruin the ambiance of her small, dingy apartment. 

Which honestly just felt like another fitting punishment for breaking Ben Solo’s heart. “Not that I could afford anything better on my own,” she lamented, thinking about the mountain of student loan debt she owed.

Shaking her head to clear it, she went back to disrobing, removing her favorite lace bralette and matching panties and tossing them aside as well. She didn’t even know why she’d bothered to keep the very expensive, yet impractical cream ensemble besides years of childhood poverty making her thrifty. It definitely wasn’t because they were a gift from Ben and he loved peeling them off her.

“Don’t think about… actually, no. That works.”

Rey stretched to retrieve her cell phone from the bedside table and navigated through her contacts to the entry entitled “Ben Solo.” Her finger hovered over the call button for a second, the thought of hearing his deep voice again tempting, but she chickened out. 

“I really should have deleted his number by now, or blocked him at the very least.” But he hadn’t texted or called in 62 days, and she hated how hopeful it made her that he still could.

Closing her contacts, she opened the files app instead and unlocked a folder titled “Gardening Tips 🍆💦” with an extremely long and complicated password. Biting her lip as sultry images flashed before her eyes, Rey leaned back against her second-hand cotton bedspread, which had been washed so many times that the thin fabric felt like silk against her bare skin. 

The first few photos were of Ben’s hands, his long, tapered fingers and calloused palms. Despite his family’s wealth, Ben liked to work with his hands at his firm’s tech lab. He was an engineer, like her, so she understood the need to tinker.

Rey imagined those hands on her body again, running one of her own across her taut stomach to cup one of her small breasts. The pads of her fingers weren’t nearly as rough as his, she usually worked on sketching designs instead of with hard materials, but a picture was worth a thousand words as they say.

“Ben,” she whimpered, flicking through a few more photos before finding some of his face and chest.

He was smiling in a lot of them, something he rarely did around anyone but her, his expression intimate and open. Or, at least, that had been the case when they were…

Zooming in on his chest, she traced the curve of his muscles, the shape of his trim waist, the blush of his nipples, touching herself in each of those locations in turn. But it wasn’t enough.

Backing out into the folder, she skipped down to pictures of his ass, his cock, of them together. “Fuck.” She flushed with arousal at one particular set from the night before they broke up.

Ben was deep inside her, his pubic hairs meshing with hers, his thumb on her clitoris, her body contorted. Every frame showed a different angle of his penetration, from her point of view. 

Lifting her knees, she bent her legs toward her chest, trying to mimic the position, before flipping open the camera app and snapping a few new photos. She wanted to recreate the scene, but it was too difficult to hold the filthy position and touch herself at the same time without Ben pressing down on her hips.

Annoyed, she hit the share button and sent off one of the new full frontal nudes to her man before thinking better of it. 

Then, “Oh, shit. Oh, fuck!” Scrambling upright, Rey stared at her phone in horror. Ben wasn’t her man anymore and she had no right to send him unsolicited sexts. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—FUCK!”

Rey jumped as her screen lit up: Ben was calling her.

——————

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

I should probably, probably not

——————

Rey was frozen solid for the first three rings, but on the fourth, she impulsively hit the talk button. Hitting that button meant she’d hear his voice again, it meant he hadn’t blocked her either, it meant… 

“Rey?” he said hesitantly, her name from his lips immediately heightening her arousal. 

Her jaw worked up and down, but no sound came out. She wanted to respond, to keep him talking, but what could she say? Sorry I haven't called? Sorry I’m such a mess? Sorry I ruined our lives? 

“Rey, why did you send me that picture?” 

“I–I’m..”

“Are you still naked?” His tone was neutral, but the question still brought heat to her cheeks.

“Yes,” she whispered.

��Did you just take that pic? Is that what your pussy looks like right now?” His voice became gruffer.

“Yes.”

“Are you keeping your curls tidy for any particular reason?” He was stern now, or was it jealous? Maybe a bit of both.

“No,” she said, because, “I’ve ignored every other aspect of my hygiene except a biweekly bikini wax in case you ever wanted to eat me out again,” was insane.

“Good girl,” he said warmly.

Praise. Ben was praising her. “Fuck.”

Rey propped herself up on several pillows, put the phone on speaker, and set it on her chest with the microphone facing her mouth. Using one hand to pull her right leg up and back, the other slid between her legs. “Ben, I’m so wet.”

He blew out a breath. “Fuck, Rey. Do you need my help, baby?”

She nodded but then realized he couldn't see her. Clearing her throat, she said, “Yes, please,” very politely.

“That’s my girl,” he chuckled. Then, with more heat, “Are you touching yourself already?”

“Yes.”

“Where? How are you positioned?”

She told him and he groaned. “I’m so turned on, Ben, but it just isn’t the same without…” She cleared her throat. “What should I do?”

“I want you to run your index and middle fingers over your slit,” he commanded.

She did as he said and sighed into the receiver. 

“That’s it, baby. Do that until you’re so slick my thick cock could slip in without a hitch.”

She pictured him over her, touching her, fucking her. “Oh, god, I am!” 

“You’re doing so good,” he praised. “Now slowly spread your lips and slip your fingers inside.”

“Okay,” she panted, swirling her fingers around her opening before sinking them knuckle deep in her pussy. “They–they're in.”

“How does it feel?” he asked.

“Good. Really good. But I wish it was your fingers, Ben, they’re so thick.” Shit. She shouldn’t have said that.

He choked out his next demand, clearly affected by her statement. “Drop your leg, baby, and use your free hand to massage your clit. If I were there with you, I’d keep you open so wide, but you need to use both hands for me.”

“Okay,” she said, the image of him pinning her down with his big body flashing through her mind.

“Now close your eyes,” he murmured. “Are they closed?”

“Yes, Ben.”

“Picture me while you pump your fingers inside your cunt and rub your clit with your other thumb.”

“Ohhhh!” she moaned, doing his bidding. Her sheath clenched around her fingers as he continued to whisper into her ear, telling her how sexy she was, how much he loved this, how good he wanted to make her feel. 

“Are your nipples hard?”

“So hard!” She didn’t even know what she was saying anymore, she just wanted to please him.

“Is your pussy dripping all over your sheets?”

“Yes!” she screamed, rubbing, straining, curling and twisting her fingers until a flood erupted between her splayed thighs.

Ben talked her through the blinding orgasm, her first since they had parted, until she calmed several minutes–hours?–later. 

“Rey?”

“Hmm?” Rey was breathless, her body tingling and satiated.

“I have to go now.”

Her euphoria shifted into confusion and hurt, which was rich considering he had just helped her get off and asked nothing in return. “Oh, okay. Uh–thank you.” Then, her deep-seeded fear of rejection taking control, she quickly disconnected the call before he could say anything more.

——————

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

——————

Rey pulled her comforter tighter around naked body, trying to smother out the light streaming through her window. During the excitement last night she had forgotten to pull the blackout curtains closed. 

“Ugh,” she grumbled when her phone buzzed a few times in quick succession.

Sticking her hand out of the warm cocoon, she blindly felt around for the device before pulling it back under the covers. Switching the light setting to dim, she read:

Ben: Good morning, sweetheart ❤️‍

Ben: Rey, are we really doing this again? 

Ben: I know what it meant to me, but what did last night mean to you? 

She sighed her favorite word in lieu of doing anything productive. “Fuck.”

Fiddling with the phone, she started texting him back several times, writing and rewriting a positive message, a negative one, something neutral, but in the end she turned it off without sending anything. 

She knew she should respond, that he’d take her silence to mean last night meant nothing, but she was scared. Last night was incredible, he was incredible, and he hadn’t even touched her. Just his voice had reduced her to a quivering mess, bringing back all her memories of them together. Sexual and otherwise.

Rey swore again, frustrated that she hadn’t gotten him out of her system. “It was just one call, idiot. It’s not like you fucked him again.”

But that couldn’t happen. Her dumb heart wouldn’t be able to stand letting him go twice.

——————

Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

"I only see him as a friend, " the biggest lie I ever said

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed

——————

A/N: I intended for this fic to be a one-shot, but whoops it’s >10K words of feelings and smut. Part II coming tomorrow! Happy All Hallows’ Eve Eve!!

[alethiometry]

Rules: list eight shows for your followers to get to know you better.

Tagged by @aeide!

1. black sails. OBVIOUSLY. it's got everything. drama, intrigue, ocean gays, lying little wet rat twinks, anti-colonialist uprisings, caribbean history, grimy period-appropriate costumes, heartbreak, monologues, toby "saturday chillin don't fuckin @ me i'm chillin" schmitz calling himself daddy. everybody slays absolute cunt. it is THEEEE most perfect show ever created.

2. parks and recreation. rewatching p&r is an interesting experience because it was such a product of obama-era liberal america and the optimism just oozes out of every scene. also we don't like crisp ratt anymore. but it's also so genuinely funny and heartfelt and comforting! this show had a massive impact on my sense of humor, as well as i think framed failure in such a positive light: every character failed drastically at something over the course of the show, but through caring for each other were able to pick themselves back up and never let their shortcomings define them. i first watched it at a point in my life where i really needed that, so it has always stuck with me.

3. leverage. my comfort show to turn to when living in a post-capitalist hellscape that continues to reward billionaires for their moral bankruptcy while shitting on everybody else gets too depressing (so… like every day). is it campy and unrealistic? yes. do i care? no. sometimes you need escapism via direct action, heist hijinks, and extreme displays of bisexuality. also aldis hodge is one of the most beautiful human beings on planet earth.

4. supernatural. yeah yeah it's the hehe destiel meme show. but it was also tons of fun to watch every week, the worldbuilding started out fantastic (and then got progressively more and more insane), i think it's really the epitome of "really cool ideas with mostly lackluster execution". the bloody mary episode remains one of my favorite episodes of tv ever, and the fandom drama just keeps giving! i also met some of my dearest friends through the fandom, so maybe the real destiel love memes were the friends we made along the way.

5. twin peaks. the only show that made me so insane i went and got a tattoo of it. impeccable vibes, the experience of watching s3 and then memeing about it on reddit with everyone else who were all equally confused is an experience that will never be replicated.

6. love island uk. listen. fucking listen. i don't want this show to be listed here any more than any of you do, i'm sure. absolute bottom of the barrel brain rot that consumes my life and brings my workday to a grinding halt (thank you timezones) for the 2 months that each season is running. i absolutely have nothing good to say about love island uk other than it's sometimes really funny, usually unintentionally. but iain stirling's voice and those stupid neon pillows/beanbags and atrocious cursive font and catchphrases have wormed their way into my brain and nothing short of a complete lobotomy can remove it.

7. how to get away with murder. this wouldn't even be on here if saff and i didn't go on an insane binge of all six seasons last fall. but since we did… here we are. michaela pratt is an icon and has never done anything wrong ever in her life and i will die on this hill.

8. cunk on earth. this is probably recency bias speaking but oh my god i adore this show. it is exactly my brand of humor and i have so much respect for all the experts and miss diane morgan herself for making it through those interviews without breaking, because i would be fighting for my fucking life. this is the show that i will henceforth be recommending like a madwoman to all my friends.

honorable mentions: american vandal, derry girls, naruto, south park, dexter, elementary, orphan black.

i'm tagging: @winedark @seance @assassiyun @thatsouthernanthem @potsticker1234 @ciaramedba @doomcountry @thychesters <3

[moriavis]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

@sproutwings tagged me in this last week, and now that retail hell is over for the year, I'm starting to get some of my brain power back!

How many works do you have on AO3? 176

What’s your total A03 word count? 565,685 words

What fandoms do you write for? CW Flash is my constant, but I'm also writing dnd fic for my friends. TBH the only fandom I used to write that I refuse to write for anymore is HP.

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1) A Cold Encounter (Flash, Coldflash, 1552 kudos) 2) The Break-Up of the Ice (Flas, Coldflash, 1411 kudos) 3) Resonance (Flash, Coldflash, 1333 kudos) 4) Thirty Seconds (Flash, Coldflash, 1036 kudos) 5) The World, Like a Blossom (Flash, Coldflash, 842 kudos)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 99 percent of the time, yes. I love responding to comments and acknowledging the time they spend with my stories. Sometimes I get overwhelmed though, so I do a purge of unanswered comments every once in a while. I'm sorry! /o\

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uhhh. I mean, I write so much angst. IDK, probably one of my earlier works. Requiem (Gundam Wing MCD) maybe?

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? As I've gotten older, I've definitely skewed more toward happy endings. Probably my JLA Hijinks (The Flash/DCU, Coldflash) series. That's just a a ton of happy endings for Barry and Leonard!

Do you get hate on your fic? I've gotten the occasional rude comment, but never any actual hate.

Do you write smut? I do, and I complain about it incessantly until I'm done!

Do you write crossovers? Normally, I don't. I have, however, written an unfinished Cheri Majors/Aisha al'Fadil pi0ece with @saekhwa

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of? I always check when reminders go around tumblr, but I don't think I've ever found one.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! I have blanket translation approval, and I've had several pieces translated.

Have you ever co-written a fic? Nothing that's been finished or released.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I... can't answer this. Physically incapable. Thank you for asking.

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ugh, probably The Narrow Way (SPN, Dean/Castiel) I started it as a nano project, but then canon went too far past me and I never touched it again. I could probably go back and work on it again. It would be interesting to see how my writing has changed.

What’s your writing strengths? I'm really good at keeping complicated timelines separate, I think. Body language is another that I've worked hard at.

What’s your writing weaknesses? I'm not allowed to say 'everything else', am I? I don't know, tbh. I have really low self esteem and don't think I'm strong at much. Can I crowdsource this answer? ;_;

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I don't particularly care about having to translate another language to figure it out when I'm reading, but I've grown away from writing it like that.

First fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing. I'm charmed at past!me despite myself.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? I will forever and always have a weak spot for Here Mid the Ash Trees (Violent Messiahs) I wrote it at a time that it filled a void for me, and I will always think of it fondly.

This was a lot of fun! I'm tagging @kisahawklin @saekhwa @scheherezhad @clavally @meansgirlwrites @qlala

[novelmonger]

I just finished Trigun Stampede, and it's left me feeling so disappointed, because it could have been...so much more.

To be fair, I have to acknowledge that the storyline is distinctly different from both the first anime and the manga, and while it retains certain similarities to both storylines, it's kind of its own story--and not a bad story, either; it was engaging and interesting in its own right. I especially liked how it handled Vash and Knives's history, what it did with Wolfwood's backstory, and how it wrapped things up at the end.

But the point is that my disappointment with Trigun Stampede has nothing to do with which anime is a closer adaptation of the manga. (I'm due a reread of that anyway; there are a lot of details of the Trigun Maximum portion that I don't remember very well.) When I compare the two animes, I just...enjoy the first one so much more.

It's all very subjective, of course, but here are some of my thoughts:

Where's my girl Milly? :( Why'd they take her out? Did they really think Roberto was a good substitute for silly Milly, the giant girl with the huge gun and the innocent voice, who comes across as an airhead but is actually really sharp? I'm sorry, I'd much rather have her in the party than a jaded, world-weary alcoholic who honestly feels like a less-interesting Wolfwood most of the time. Also, having Milly around meant that Meryl could take the role of the straight man most of the time, whereas the Roberto-Meryl duo is like...two straight men. Just doesn't have the same spark as Meryl and Milly :/

Vash is so much less goofy in this one, he's practically a different person. I mean, yes, his heart is the same, and in a lot of ways the goofiness is a mask and something Vash uses to keep himself from despair (better to laugh than to cry and all that). But it's still a huge part of his personality, and a huge part of what I love so much about Trigun in the first place. I love how the first anime will switch back and forth between being utterly hilarious and dead serious. Trigun Stampede, on the other hand, is almost entirely serious. As a result, the serious moments don't have the same impact as they would have if they came at the tail end of a string of ridiculous hijinks. I probably wouldn't think of that if I hadn't seen the first anime and knew how the story would feel with that kind of tone, but there you are.

There's so much less time to get to know the characters. You can really tell that Trigun Stampede's primary target audience is people who are already fans of the story, because they don't let the story breathe in the beginning. I really got the sense that we're supposed to already know who these people are and why we love them, rather than getting introduced to lovable characters for the first time. I have to wonder whether I would care about any of them if I didn't have tons of episodes where I'd gotten used to them and their quirks and had the time to really learn what they're all about.

WHERE IS BRILLIANT DYNAMITES NEON?! HOW CAN YOU BRING IN THE BAD LADS GANG WITHOUT THEIR FABULOUS LEADER?!?!?

Okay, I'm going to say it: I hate the animation. Sometimes it looked really good (particularly everything with the plants), but other times--especially when it came to character animation, particularly facial animation--it was so...sluggish? It was like the mouth movements couldn't keep up with the voicework, and every movement a character would make would take twice as long as it should, like they were moving through water or something. I'm certainly not against CG animation in anime, but I've seen it done so much better than this. I didn't know such a stylized art style could veer into the uncanny valley, but that was the feeling I got over and over again while watching this anime. It was so distracting that sometimes I found myself staring at their faces without reading the subtitles, and had to back up.

Oh, that reminds me: I'm sure there's a whole host of reasons behind them changing Vash's voice actor, but...I'm sorry, Masaya Onosaka is Vash the Stampede to me. He did such a good job with both the serious and the goofy sides of the character. Yoshitsugu Matsuoka did a great job; I have no complaints with his performance. But...he's just not Masaya Onosaka. It's probably a good thing that this iteration of Vash wasn't as ridiculous and all over the place, because I'm not convinced Yoshitsugu Matsuoka could have pulled it off.

The new character designs were okay for the most part. Not my favorite, but generally not a problem (though I'm not a fan of Meryl's outfit; it makes her look like a kid somehow). The only real problem I have is that Vash's floppier, softer hairstyle makes Wolfwood's nickname "needle noggin" just...not work very well. It was clear why he would give him such a nickname when Vash's hair was sticking straight up like a shock of wheat, but this way? Doesn't look like needles at all. His hair isn't noticeably spikier than anyone else's.

There weren't really any surprises or suspense in the story, because everything was shown in a fairly straightforward way. Not necessarily a problem, I suppose, and it makes sense that they have to cut to the chase more quickly when they've only got 12 episodes to work with. But I missed the way the first anime would just drop hints, show a little bit of a flashback, then move on for another episode or two. Particularly when it came to the nature of what, exactly, Vash is. They basically tell you right away in the first episode what's going on, rather than letting you wonder and slowly piece it together over time. I don't like that.

All in all, Trigun Stampede just doesn't hold a candle to the first anime. Now I'm off to rewatch that one, and then probably reread the manga.

[ratmonologue]

Top 5 characters whose stories you would rewrite, given the chance =)

ok I was not ignoring this I just needed like 3 days years to think about it because GREAT QUESTION, this will get long and progressively more unhinged, let's go-

5. Holland Vosijk ADSOM: Debating whether he belongs on this list, because on the one hand his part of the story would not be as impactful as it is if it wasn't completely soaked in tragic dramatic irony, but on the other hand, :,((. So I'll just change one tiny little bit at the end, to make it so he.... how to not-spoilers things.... so he Realizes certain consequences of certain actions. He deserves that much, at least. Also ice cream. I'll write the existence of ice cream into his world.

4. movie!Faramir LotR: I get what they were they were trying to do here, to give him a bit more of a character arc re juggling the pressures/responsibilities/legacies of Gondor and his father and Boromir and his own moral compass. And I actually don’t hate most of it! I don’t mind that he was tempted by the Ring at first - even the kindest, most level-headed person in such desperate circumstances is at least going to spare a glance at the supernaturally-alluring desperate measures, and imo that doesn’t make him less level-headed or kind. Therefore what DOES feel out of character, and what I’m changing, is how much of a dick he is for a bit there. No gratuitous Gollum abuse allowed.

3. The BBC Merlin knights: For the purposes of this list, they count as one. If it were up to me this would be less of a rewrite and more of a plain old write because I think they deserve a proper spinoff series full of more wacky Arthurian hijinks (Green Knight, anyone? questing beasts? the Holy Grail?) in which Merlin and Arthur and co. only have brief, humorous, and completely irrelevant cameos. The rest of those dunces deserved some character arcs too. If a full spinoff is out of the question, then at the very least keep Lancelot alive longer and give us some Ramifications re Guinevere and him knowing about Merlin’s magic and whatnot, give Gwaine his potential depth back and don’t just reduce him to comic relief, give Leon the respect he deserves for saying no to certain death so many times, etc etc yeah basically I just want more of all of these idiots. I love them.

2. Kai Leng Mass Effect: Yeah, ugh, I know, but hear me out: what if... he was an Actual Not-Pathetic Secondary Antagonist who DIDN'T completely suck shrimp balls?? Have him cameo in ME2 while you're "working for" Cerberus, establish him as a halfway competent sort of rival who's actually like, plotting things or whatever, so then when he comes back in ME3 it's like "oh shit, it's THAT bastard!" rather than "this is SO FUCKING STUPID [punts controller through screen, while crying over Thane (yes, I'm fixing that part too)]." I hate him, you hate him, we all hate him, for good reason, he sucks SO HARD, he can't even land a single hit on me until the goddamn cutscene has to give him the win on Thessia, but! It did not have to be this way! He could have been marginally competent with some writing tweaks, and fellow ME players everywhere could have rolled their eyes significantly fewer times! I want to hate him the way I'd hate an actual adversary, not the way I hate a piece of gum that refuses to un-stick from the bottom of my shoe!

And, in the #1 spot because all these years later, thinking about it STILL fills me with rage... Yassen Gregorovich's Alex Rider Prequel Book.

Context: The Alex Rider series, action/mystery novels about a 14-year-old James Bond expy, was not THE most formative childhood book series for me, but it was up there. In the top 5. Seeing as how I have been the exact same brand of predictable my entire life, 10yo me's favorite character was Yassen, the opposing-team assassin with maybe 20 pages of screentime over a 9-book series. It was obvious that he had... morals is too much of a stretch, but there was a sense of still waters running deep. He was played as a 'darker side of the same coin' sort of deal re Alex himself, and had some Complex History(TM) with Alex's father and uncle, both of whom were, like Alex, MI6 (double) agents, both dead prior to the series' start, one so by Yassen's hand. Yassen also dies young halfway through the series, of course, but his ghost hangs around.

Fast forward a decade or so, well after the series proper had ended. Find out Yassen's getting a prequel book, aptly titled Russian Roulette, tracing how he went from an orphaned nobody to one of the most yikes most competent secret agents in the world. Get HYPE, because he's a goldmine of potential for fleshing out both himself and Alex's past. If you're going to do a spinoff/prequel, this is exactly the kind of character you want for it.

Unfortunately (and this is where we shift from Context to Rant), in my excitement I’d forgotten one crucially important fact, and that is that Anthony Horowitz is completely incapable of keeping track of his own books’ canon.

I’m not gonna rewrite a play-by-play here (that’s stored in a probably 6 page word doc I vomited up shortly after finishing the book wherein I attempted (failed) to rewrite it all to make it make sense), but the short version is that 1) sometimes the timelines and/or events just straight up contradicted what was established in the main series; 2) Horowitz apparently chickened out of the fact that Yassen is kinda sorta definitely a villain and/or he just didn’t know how to write a corruption arc; which together led to 3) Yassen has virtually zero agency in his own book, and in the moments he does have agency, the decisions he makes don’t make sense, in that they are straight up impossible to reconcile with both this perpetually-victimized younger version of himself and the calculating hitman we know he becomes. That’s another thing, we didn’t see him evolve from one to the other, he just kinda. clumsily flipped a switch at the end there. I don’t have to explain that that kind of writing is stupid and lazy. And I know, this is a middle-grade Bond ripoff, I’m not gonna get fuckin, idk, Black Sails levels of character nuance or anything, but like. We can still have a little nuance in this nicely complex premise? Just a smidge? Please...? Apparently not.

(And I’m not even going to get into whatever the FUCK was going wrong with John Rider’s character, except to say that he was hands down the most important person in Yassen’s life and something in his characterization was Definitely Going Wrong as compared to what we already knew of him, which in turn fed into Yassen’s whole everything feeling Off, etc etc why is this entire book made of Nonsense Hell)

In conclusion, there was SO MUCH POTENTIAL and it was SQUANDERED by author laziness and yes I am angry but I’m also just Sad. the entire point was to show all these different people and events and overarching themes (which did actually exist, believe it or not) from alternate angles, but instead we just got a mess. it could have been amazing. and while I clearly haven’t figured out how to make it amazing yet, at least I’ve identified the problems, and that’s step one.

And yeah, there was a russian roulette scene (the gun kind) in the book. Two, actually. They were horrifying and should not have been in a middle-grade series. But they’re honestly among the least of my issues here.

You’re not remotely a great person, Yassen, but for some reason I love you and you deserved better. And Anthony, if I ever meet you: it’s on sight.

[akwardlyuncool]

Class Favorites: Movie Ranks! (Part 2)

Welcome back for part 2 of Akward Class Favorites: Movie Rank!

If you missed Part 1, click HERE.

_____________________________________________________________

21) The Good Guy (2009)

Beth wants to find love in the big city and once she thinks she's found just that, other things including "just friends" decide to show up as well.

Now I don't want to spoil anything, but if you've been around for a while you know how we feel about "the good guy," so just sayin. Now my takeaway is that it wasn't that bad. I still gave it 3 stars and Bryan Greenberg always plays some of my favorite slightly average white guys, with slight knowledge about random things. That being said, the movie does try (for just a moment) to romanticize Lolita (yes that book) and that's not okay! So it was alright, has a little mess, but not one I'm running out of my way to recommend.

22) Odd Man Rush (2022)

A kid who dreamed of playing professional hockey grows up to get signed to the B or is it C team in odd places around the world and this time it's Sweden, but at least there's a girl to talk to in the midst of all the cold weather.

This movie also wasn't that bad, but the whole time all I could think of was knock off Patrick Fugit and when it's not giving all it can, that thought doesn't help it's chances. I like sports movies, but in the world of re-watches, it's most likely going to be on because I've seen it at least once. With my 3 stars I probably rated it higher than the folks who this movie was forced upon, so note that it's because I don't hate everything like most people seem to lol.

23) Sorority Wars (2009)

Katie always planned to follow in her mother's footsteps and become a Delta just like mother, right alongside her best friend. Things take a turn though and nothing is like it's supposed to be.

This movie screams 2009 Lifetime movie, without a teen pregnancy. It has "cat fights" with superficial mean girls and then suddenly realizing you're above the bs and fakeness. If this is your thing, eat it up and if not you saved yourself an hour and a half of pettiness and not the supper good kind.

24) The Prince & Me 2: The Royal Wedding (2006)

Paige and Edvard are set to get married in a few weeks, but some old fuddy-duddy law comes out of the woodwork in attempts to stop the marriage from taking place.

Julie Stiles is one of my favorite actresses and if I ever met her the one question I would ask (obviously if I actually met her, I'd find a way better question lol) is why doesn't she play in any of the sequels to her hit movies lol? This has always bugged me and this particular movie is the prime example as to why that is.

What I love about Paige's character in the original Prince & Me felt lost this go around and their attempts at recreating her personality fell flat. The chemistry also wasn't there between Kam Heskin and Luke Mably (Paige and Edvard) and for a romance, that's more than half the battle. The spark just didn't exist the same way at all and that's dissapointing. The other thing that made it drop, was that it ended up being a little too hijinks-y for my me. I know that's how all of these princess sequels seem to go, but I wasn't super into it this time. If those two things had been better I would have enjoyed it way more.

All that being said, I will eventually watch the 2 following sequels that I ended up not watching this year and know that anyone who consumes these movies, like me will also watch the whole franchise too. (We're the same type of people who have seen all 7 Bring It On movies, as well as all 6 Cinderella Story films.)

25) Wedding Daze (2006)

Anderson is heartbroken over the loss of the woman he intended to marry, so after a year of moping and some encouragement from his best friend he decides to propose to the waitress in the diner that they're eating at.

Now I liked this movie for all the reasons I tend to like any movie from this era of romantic comedies, however I also didn't like it for all the reasons this era doesn't always land on me if I didn't see it in it's "prime." Again it's the hijinks and the tacky humor that bring it down. I don't hate those things, but they don't always hold up a movie the way we would like them to. It's cute and does a lot of the quirky romantic comedy things we smile over, but that's just not enough here. Bonus, it does feature Inches and Falling by The Format, so major points for that.

PS: I'm also not in the business of recommending J*son B*ggs to anyone right now, so there's that.

26) Double Mommy (2016)

*TW: Sexual Assault. Ryan and Jess broke up right before summer started. Jess is still in love with Ryan, which she states to his best friend Bryce, all summer long while they hang out to pass the time. When Ryan returns home he realizes he made a mistake and wants Jess back. They immediately fall back into old habits. Upon rekindling their love however, Jess realizes that she's pregnant with twins and Ryan isn't the only father.

This was during my Lifetime teen pregnancy binge. (I just needed stuff that wasn't gonna give me too much anxiety. And what is sleep.) The title was also hella messy, so I'm like let's go! I yelled at the screen so much while watching this one cause there's simply no other way to consume these films. You saw the title, you saw my description, of course that's how I watched this ish.

I'd been watching these movies all year, but this is where I really started to rack up the numbers of "Lifetime" trash. They're hot messes of quick, so they can pump them out faster and you can down them on whatever free streaming service you choose. I only recommend these movies to those who already eat this stuff up like it's candy and bad movie nights.

27) The Cheating Pact (2013)

Rich kids have more money than time and would rather pay someone to take take their college entrance exams than to risk the disappointment from their parents, who if they pass would pull their donor strings to get them into the good college anyway.

I thought I was getting a bad Perfect Score remake and to be fair it was bad (remember these are all rated on a curve) but when they decided to add the whole true crime element to the mix and not the money laundering/embezzlement kind, it became not as "fun" for me. I was engaged, but this was just too petty, cliché and started to involve crimes that wouldn't get them slaps on the wrists, so by the end I wasn't so into it.

28) Just Peck (2009)

*TW: Talks of suicidal ideation. Michael Peck (Keir Gilchrist) isn't one of the cool sophomores and his parents are a little overbearing with the psychology and therapy parenting style, which sometimes makes things worse. Even his friends consider themselves losers. When senior Emily Donaldson (Brie Larson) decides to let him and his friend ride in her car for a lunch smoke break, suddenly Peck thinks he's made a new friend.

This is filled with all the dark, edgy humor of our teen years and sadly that's what didn't win me over with this one. If you end up watching it, you'll notice how one of the big events of the film shines light to the overarching problems of the movie as a whole. It tried to laugh away the serious issues going on with these teens, in a way that very few actually laughed at for the right reasons. It will be for some, just not for me.

29) Remember The Daze (2007)

Last day of school in 1999 the kids decide a party and cruising is how they'll live it up.

This was a terrible rip-off of my beloved Dazed and Confused. Like they literally bit the title. It had none of the essence, none of the cool and I hated all the characters, except this one kid who went around taking pictures all day. Even the antagonists aren't done well, they're just ass-hats. This movie in it's recreation tried to spotlight the problematic behavior of D&C, without making any real statements of its own and in my opinion, actually making themselves look worse.

Like one example is that they tried to re-do Matthew McConaughey's character Wooderson, you know the guy who's still hanging out with the high school crowd, and made him 10 times more uncomfortable. Not excusing Wooderson's behavior at all, but he was someone you actually kinda wanted to hang out with because you thought he was cool, his replacement however gave all of the ick to where you might need a shower after being around him for longer than 2 minutes because he actually touched you. I'm sorry they just failed miserably at the "replacements."

One of the other things that failed this movie was the fact that it gave not one 90's vibe whatsoever. It was 2007 with maybe a 90's Nokia phone. No grunge, no soundtrack, no "like totally buggin" anything! I believed none of it's attempt at being a period piece. Just overall sad really.

Basically when you rip off a classic or classics, cause I saw many others pointed out how it also took bits from Can't Hardly Wait and American Graffiti too, at least try hard to live up to that legacy. 2 and a half stars for something that could have been decent had I not seen any teen movie made prior to the release of this one.

30) Magic Mike: Last Dace (2023)

Mike thinks he's taking one last gig before he goes back into retirement, but the London socialite decides his talents are more useful than a one night stand.

Meh, this was just way passed it's prime. It feels like when you're trying to relieve the glory days, so you become a coach. I don't know, it just didn't make me desire to have a half-naked man grind on me and although that's never truly been a desire of mine, the other films did better at the attempt. Now don't get it twisted, he's still Channing Tatum and he still has the ability to make me swoon, even during this whatever, it just wasn't what I was after. All that being said, go watch it. This is the type of movie you put on for the fun of it, not because it's gonna be great.

31) Hello Sister, Goodbye Life (2006)

College student Olivia Martin (Lacy Chabert) is being asked to take care of her 7 year old half sister, after her father and step-mother's untimely death. She must now decide if she wants to be a parent or enjoy her youth.

The movie probably deserved at least 3 stars (I gave it 2 and a half) because it wasn't that bad, but I wasn't moved and probably felt a little bored by it if I'm being completely honest. Predictable ending that could have used way more compromise than it gave. Again I watched a lot of "trash" this year cause they were fun, and although this wasn't exactly trash, it could be easily forgotten and thus why some of the actual "trash" beat it out lol.

32) Maine (2018)

Two strangers meet while hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Once their paths cross during a outdoor bathroom break, they become rather involved with one another.

This is the third Thomas Mann film on this list and although one of the more aesthetically pleasing watches, it ranked the lowest cause I couldn't figure out what it was actually trying to say. I gave it 2 and a half stars for the ending, cause it wasn't good, but I think that just means I didn't like the ending and it brought what could have been a 3 down. The movie is chill and vibe-y with some overcast and if that's your thing take the chance, just find the right place to stop and I think you'll be good.

33) Fallen (2006)

The day Aaron Corbett (Paul Wesley) turned 18, he found out that he wasn't just a teenage boy on the way to adulthood, but a Nephilim (human/angel) and now has to fight for a bigger cause than grades.

This was part of a 3 part mini-movie series back in the day on ABC Family and although I thought I'd watched it back then, I added it to this list cause I couldn't recall really anything that was happening and let it live like I had never seen it before. It wasn't good and probably felt a little overdone. I thought I might go and watch all 3 parts, but after sitting through the first one and all of it's "grand" fight scenes/family protecting, I knew I wasn't invested enough. I also thought I was getting the 2016 movie under the same name, so that probably had a negative effect on things as well. (I haven't seen the 2016 Fallen either, it's just what I thought I was going to be watching that day.)

I recommend this to the ABC Family nostalgia folks and Paul Wesley fans. That being said Bryan Cranston is in the other 2 parts, so maybe it might be worth testing the rest of the series out, just to see lol.

34) What Goes Up (2009)

*TW: Talks about subjects of suicide and inappropriate relationships between adults and minors. The misfits find one teacher they can trust and when that teacher dies and a new figure appears in his wake, will they too trust him in that same fashion? Campbell Babbit (Steve Coogan) is put on a newspaper assignment, to get off of writing about the woman he obsessively writes about at current. They want to get him onto more world news. like the Challenger Space Shuttle launch. He ends up slipping into the life of an old college buddy that has passed away, thinking he can figure out the students his friend left behind and maybe tell someone else’s story for a change.

This is the only movie that got a full review on the blog this year, so I won't rehash everything, however I will say that I totally get why it's this far down on the list. The ick just sat with me for most of the watch and upon it's conclusion I wasn't confident that things were cleared up, so I'm not sure I want anyone else to sit through that either. It's a dark film, with that misfit teen edginess that draws some people in and if you wanted to take a peak, on you, but not one I don't wave the red flag for.

35) Guilty At 17 (2014)

What happens when you believe your friend when they tell you they were assaulted by your teacher, but you're not 100% sure they were telling you the truth? Guilt is a strong feeling.

The movie doesn't go full mask off into the whole "women lie" territory, however it does act as the what-if, devils advocate, to that belief. It rides the line of that narrative too close for me to be like "yeah lets go!." You're upset and irritated for most of the movie and the story it was trying to tell wasn't even done well. The guilt that looms the whole time was the "heart beating underneath the floorboards" and at a certain point you're over waiting for the big reveal. This one I watched because Chloe Rose from Degrassi and Erin Sanders from Zoey 101 were in it. I'm pulled by anything with Degrassi Alumni. If you like movies that play unnecessary devil's advocates, go for it, but this is not one I'll be quick to recommend to the toxic masses.

36) Double Daddy (2015)

*TW: Sexual Assault. Cameron's life is turned upside down when he finds out his girlfriend and the new girl at school are both pregnant, supposedly by him.

Just like Double Mommy, this movie is UNHINGED! They both have similar plots, but this one adds more of that "ticket to the good life" aspect that so many people love. Although unhinged keeps you engaged for sure, there was a lot of off personality moments that you get tired of real quick. Remember the curve and all that ish, not everything that's bad is good and not all of them will make it to the coveted 3 stars.

Double Daddy and Double Mommy are ones that I absolutely would recommend... for bad movie night. Like this is a true LET'S GO! for the category. And you have to subject yourself to both, because of course you do.

37) Beautiful Disaster (2023)

*Based on a book of the same name by Jamie McGuire. Let's avoid the "bad-guy" that's totally not good for us, but find a way to sleep in his apartment and maybe even his bed every night. You know, until your "bad-girl" past starts to be the real issue.

Y'all know how much I don't like New-Adult books and the movie adaptations are just as egregiously bad. No I did not read this book (or at least I don't think I did, but if I had it would have been a million years ago and my memory of the books I would have finished in a day isn't great) however if you've read a couple, you've read plenty.

I'm tired of bad boys who aren't bad boys and love stories that revolve around 18/19/20 year old girls/women who find themselves engrossed in men/boys, but in a completely toxic ways. It's one thing if it's about new experiences and growth and young love, riding the high of something, but it's a whole other deal when you take that and have allowed yourself to barely even breathe before you say how high you're gonna jump with this person. I didn't get to watch an After movie this year, so this is the After stand-in. I will say that it's not as toxic as After, but the rushing to be all in, was just as present here as it was there.

Now side note, I'm not saying that Dylan Sprouse is unattractive or a bad actor, but once again I don't believe his performance as these particular characters, in these particular movies that he's playing. I don't know, maybe the stories just don't sell any of this to me and I just want to say "nope" to it all.

All of that being said, yes I will watch the sequel coming out in 2024 because even when it's bad, like 2 stars bad, that toxicity keeps me coming back for more. You know, just to see. Disclaimer though: I can tell that these things aren't good and I don't want relationships like them, which is why I can separate myself when I watch them, but if you can't do that and you're idolizing these characters, you need to touch a little grass and find better influences. Just sayin.

38) Stalked At 17 (2012)

CW: Teenager has relationship with a guy who's already graduated. You're young and in love, so a pregnancy should strengthen that love, but sometimes love doesn't conquer all and sometimes it gets violent and won't let you go.

I'll say that this movie wasn't great, but you already predicted that, so I'll say that you spend most of the time irritated, cause no we should not trust guys who can't find girls their own age to put up with their bs and who carry their violent flags on their sleeves with them. To be fair said she's only 17, so her not seeing all the RED makes sense. It also ended up here because the ending was trash and brought the rest of the movie down with it. Not worth it, unless you want to see a guy named Chad live up to the worst version of what the Chad stereotype can be and then get even more mad when the ending screws you over lol.

39) Locked Away (2010)

You're pregnant and although your boyfriend is supportive, because your mom is not, you still look for other maternal figures to get advice from. You better choose wisely though, cause not everyone is innocent.

I promise that this is the last Lifetime Teen pregnancy movie on this list lol, but I can see how 5 or so of them out of 41 is a lot. I mainly pulled this one out because it has Jake Thomas of Lizzie McGuire in it and you know how nostalgic cast members can pull me with a quickness. Despite the casting pull, this one was far too unrealistic true-crime for me and I can only take so much murder being added into spaces it does not need to be. Like these writers must sit there and go "let's sprinkle in a murder just for the funzies of it." There was also a lot of random trust given too, that suspended my belief systems while watching and I was not in line. Basically give me less murderous true crime and mindless trust and you might score higher.

40) American Satan (2017)

A bi-continental band from the U.S and UK named the Relentless decide to forgo college for LA and ultimately Rock & Roll. To get to their dreams however, they might have to sell their souls to the devil.

Oh man was this one bad. I started it a while back, like years ago but never finished it, cause it didn't sit right with me and now having seen the whole thing I get why. I've seen other "sell your soul to the devil" movies, the 1986 Crossroads is a great example, but American Satan does not tell that story well. This movie doesn't even make a statement or tell me something real and honestly I don't even know if I was supposed to enjoy it. I do consider this one to be actual trash.

I didn't know this until I got to the spin-off TV show Paradise City, which I also watched because of Cameron Boyce, but Ash Avildsen of Sumerian Records wrote and directed this mess. If you're part of the alt scene, I'm sure you would have heard that Ash is kinda trash himself, especially because of what he said about Covid and booster shots on the record label's social media page, not even his personal page. Again I didn't put two and two together before watching, but after seeing how he's personally behaved, it gives this film extra red flags.

Now this movie doesn't speak to vaccines or anything like that, it came pre-vid, however one of its major flags is it taking the allegations that get talked about in the real world scene, pertaining to adult band members and potential minor fans, and using that not once but twice as large plot points. Sure we're talking Sex, Drugs & Rock and Roll, but it's a really bad look, to on multiple occasions use something many are actively trying to fight against in the scene and to me reducing that to " fame-drama" that "just happens" and something that can be skated by. So writing that multiple times, unnecessarily, definitely gives me the whole trash can. (Or maybe Ash just doesn't know how to tell a good "groupie" story? If that's even what he's trying to convey?)

Beyond that seriousness, one of my personal grievances was the fact that Andy Biersack (of Black Veil Brides) who actually has a very decent singing voice was dubbed and ended up sounding worse. How you gon take one of the biggest artists from your record label and do them so dirty like that? Also, and this is a hella hella side note, I think Andy is SO attractive, but his spicy scenes between the movie and the show were so unsexy that they were a little painful to watch lol.

Basically it was so bad that I wouldn't even recommend it to fans of the bands they got to act in the movie. Hope these guys get more work in the future, cause I would hate for this to be their acting legacy.

41) Last Day Of Summer (2009)

Joe (DJ Qualls) has been picked on his whole life and even as an adult his manager and coworkers are still laying the torment on pretty thick. One day Joe decides he's gonna do something about it and was almost brave enough, but ends up kidnapping an innocent woman instead.

This is one of, if not the most incel movie I've ever seen. Not to spoil anything, but one of the major plots of this movie is literally based on a look he thought this woman gave him. That's why all of the other ish takes place; a damn look! I have a list of the actual worst movies I've ever seen, movies that you don't show at bad movie night and in 2023 I added the second film, this one. I'm a DJ Qualls fan and he plays the nerdy, awkward kid that gets picked on, very well, but I'm sad and a little embarrassed, even for the characters that he plays, that this movie is apart of his filmography. Don't do it, not worth whatever idea you think you're going to get yourself into.

[intrepidradish]

Media: Dragon Ball Z

Year/my age: 2002/12

What drew me to the media:

I came home from highschool everyday and had a small tv with a built in vhs in my closet. It was 4:30pm and toonami was on Cartoon Network. I watched the entire Cell Saga and Majin Boo like a fiend. It was a shitton of episodes! Ugh. It's almost impossible to watch all the way through now, but maybe because as an adult I want like...more plot motivated writing. One of the best fanfic foder aspects of DBZ is that so much is left open to interpretation. I didn't question the filler episodes as a kid. I just liked all the muscles and screaming. The animation/manga style remains super duper fun. But mostly I found DBZ memorable because of Vegeta. I got truly invested in him as a character, because for most of DBZ, he really lets you down. I think TV shows love to harp on tropes for children, ie the bad man becomes a good man and all his values change to match the good characters *sparkles*, because they think morally those are the stories that should be told to children. Which is sad, honestly. Vegeta doesn't fall into that arc. He remains...kind of a bitch... and his character arch is fantastic and long and hard and he fucks up a lot and he doesn't really apologize for any of it. This was amazing to see as a preteen. Teaching failure to a child is really hard, and I think that America's school system is really bad at even attempting to. But failure is super important. Because all of life that child cum adult is going to fail, and its going to suck.

What made me a fan:

In college, I did another pass of DBZ, and whoa, developing adult horny brain really went into spiral knots wondering...so what the fuck... Bulma and Vegeta... had sex? They made a child. They made Trunks. So they had sex, right? I think this is pretty common a reaction. And as soon as you think that, well... the next step is... 'wait wait wait, how did they have sex? why did they have sex? what did that even look like?' And that's what sends you scouring the internet at 1am in your underwear (covertly, because you're in a dormitory with three other roommates).

I wish I could put to language what is it about romance that sends people into fandom holes. Romance is really important to fandom. I think it has something to do with how regimented relationships are in mass media. They aren't diverse. Most main stream romance is very streamlined and never gets into the messy odd bits without being labeled as some kind of edgy cusp drama. I don't know. But relationships seem to be the spring board for fandom hijinks. I'm all about it. I'd rather have fake blorbo relationships in my brain to obsess over than the real world. That shit gets you into trouble.

Oh god, and what an indicator of future dispositions. If you get into the Vegebul fandom, a lot of them are rape stories (because god forbid, a woman could want a shitty asshole alien man to bone at night. Bulma has her own set of problems, specifically with vanity being high up there). But yeah they were hot and I was pretty ashamed about the whole thing.

I was such a baby then.

Have I written fanfiction for it?

YES. One winter vacation, I wrote a 40 page fanfiction. This was probably in 2010? It was UNFINISHED, but I was incredibly sweaty the entire time, trying to build up to a spanking scene. (Yes, 40 pages of build up for spanking. I'm embarrassed for myself.) My computer crashed and the entire document was corrupted. My first fanfic was lost. RIP

Opinion on the fandom:

Pretty chill. I didn't interact with it much besides reading secretly. Originally, I was reading on fanfiction.net. When I came back to it years later (once again after college, I got my husband into it) I was reading fanfic for it on Ao3. I run into other Vegebul's periodically. They are all in their late twenties, early-late thirties. I follow someone here on tumblr that wrote this fantastic long series (100+ chapters) called Pillow Talk which is on Ao3. It's fucking incredible about showing the ups and downs, ins and outs of their relationship, because they do wind up together in canon (which is wild).

The most recent interaction I had was in the kink community, which was like *sigh* 'god, we are so fucking predictable, aren't we?' We had a good laugh! But he was trans masc too, chilling in a femme body, so we clicked right away about it.

I also remember I had an annoying conversation with my stepbrother once about tattoos. I don't have any, so they were asking why I don't. I said "If I started to get tattoos it would be a slipper slop before I start making bad decisions like getting a full Vegeta arm sleeve." Their mouths twisted in that judging you face and said "yeah don't do that." Like...ahem. My point exactly.

I think people get pretty judgy in general about Vegebuls because its a 90s kid's show, and its not a very good one. But being a Vegebul is kind of like... realizing your parents have sex. It's part of 'coming of age'.

Would I participate again:

Hell yeah, I would. Once a Vegebul always a Vegebul. The biggest hurdle for me would be catching up on all the new material. I watched Dragon Ball Super and found it lackluster. GT was so bad, I cannot. Something that's commonly an issue for me is the amount of subject material required to understand a story in fanfiction. I'll get into it later with other fandoms, but if the lore gets too big, I suddenly don't know how to participate.

Master post

[seancamerons]

I posted 3,271 times in 2022

That's 791 more posts than 2021!

175 posts created (5%)

3,096 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@highzaya-blog1

@maya-matlin

@pinkprincess

@perrfectly

@ambitious-playmate

I tagged 1,319 of my posts in 2022

#q - 273 posts

#degrassi - 190 posts

#stranger things - 152 posts

#art - 113 posts

#britney spears - 87 posts

#fashion - 83 posts

#oth - 76 posts

#food - 52 posts

#semma - 52 posts

#emma nelson - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#so different time eras play a role in the art created at that time or is a response to or deeply influenced by what is going on

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Zig/Maya in Wild and Weary 💜 requested by @maya-matlin

15 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#4

talking about season 2 episodes 12 and 13 titled white wedding gets me super warm and fuzzy and nostalgic. overall it's an underrated one and most people don't like it I'm sure because the parents have a larger role than the teens which i can see how that could be a downer.

i'm putting this under a cut so you can read it at your leisure. took me long enough eh?

so yeah white wedding is my favorite episode and this ep had everything you could want, a big event being the wedding spike finding out she's pregnant again, this time days before the main event, we have jt and toby hijinks with the fancy plot, joey and caitlin flirting pretty much all episode, manny playing matchmaker and of course the at the time long-awaited reunion of semma. i remember i recorded it on my VCR in my room back in the day when it aired and even now it's my favorite episode.

so we begin with sean, jt, manny and toby in the media immersion room about to listen to a speech about love and marriage but its acutally the theme of a show called the love boat.

"someone's never been in love" sean says when jt acts love makes him wanna throw up and then they assume he means he's been in love before and they all assume it's emma because at that time yes it makes sense.

getting back to sean, he's always been on the outside looking in despite being a member of the original 6 it's important to note that he knew he was the only one not invited to the wedding and when manny invites him it's as if he'd come into the fold by the invitation so i think that was another reason why he was crushed, because he wanted to be a part of it and manny gave him an in and took it away. i expected him to disappointed or sad but literally sniffling and tearing up made me feel bad for him. boy had it bad. lol @ tracker eating out of a pot. of course they play 'the sean music' which is a guitar i believe but they play it whenever something happens to sean or whenever he's on screen i don't get it but it's something i observed over the years. sean music also could be attributed to emma and sean's relationship at least in season 1 so that's i guess something to note.

moving on, so emma's home from school. she recieved the wedding cake which was swapped by mistake. i couldn't help but note spike and emma's dynamic is somewhat codependent and sisterly. very candid can talk about whatever and they're comfortable about it. spike doesn't want to change the relationship and sees nothing wrong with it. even when what happens is inappropriate, spike shouldn't tell emma about her pregnancy and abortion, a conversation more suitable for an adult being snake. spike shouldn't have to rely on a 13 year old for support when she knows she has her friends around is all i'm saying.

elsewhere, jt, toby and craig scheme to get a stripper to come to the 'stag'. who calls a bachelor party a stag? i guess only in canada lmao they try to go but they obviously look juvenile so craig ditches them pretty much and goes to joey.

fun fact: the address on the strip club door is 212 the number of the episode in pt 1.

so caitlin and lucy come over and they decided to wear the same dress to the wedding which makes sense since they're bridesmaids but of course they're here to party so they go to this weird place with mexican singers which idk the song they're singing so if there's symbolism who knows? but spike aint in the party mood.

fun fact: lucy wears the same outfit in the series premire '1.01 mother child reunion'.

also that scene when joey and snake come over with lucy and caitlin over somethings to note starting with, "when are you gonna add a little spike and snake to add to mini caitlin over there?" it's a funny little nod to the original series, that emma was coined by lucy as mini-caitlin because it's true! after all, caitlin interfered with spike's pregnancy back in the day on degrassi junior high when she famously wrote an opinion piece in favor of keeping spike at degrassi despite the angry parents who wanted to ban spike from school due to her pregnancy. emma too has the tendency to stick her nose where it doesn't belong and this very episode is no exception somewhat following in caitlin's footsteps in this very episode and others at the time. it was pretty obvious that emma was written to be much like caitlin in the mix of characters from the og degrassi. emma has always liked and looked up to caitlin and was seen in 1.01 mother child reunion to be a fan of ryan's planet, caitlin's environmental television show and took shitty romantic advise from her espy as well.

nearing the end of part one, it's worth noting that yes, spike's secret wasn't emma's to tell but spike should've known better to talk to a friend of hers not her 13-14 year old daughter. spike makes it seems like snake would abandon her or not help out when we know snake isn't like that. i guess she did talk to caitlin and caitlin gives notoriously bad advice and says, "call him in the morning." like he should know five seconds before they get married or whatever. i guess they didn't think 'mini caitlin' would wake up in the middle of the night and spill the beans to him as if she was sent by spike. wtf?

fun fact: at the party, mr raditch wants everyone to call him dan lol irl the actors name is dan as well.

poor toby gets his hand stepped on but i have a lot of feelings about snake and emma's talk outside when he yells at her but, he had a point that spike should've told him not her, "why you why not your mom?" but the remark, "what kind of family is this?" was a tough blow.

so then - we got a pissy emma in the morning, manny when she's not sucking heilium explains that emma did fuck up and she should feel bad. emma goes off and sees sean in her pjs and tracker is trying to phase sean as they talk. words cannot describe how much i love that emma went to sean and she invited him to the wedding.

meanwhile spike and snake are talking rightfully so on some boardwalk pier thing. snake remarks, "yeah as friends, maybe we should've kept it that way." but it reminds us that they started out as friends, and she should've been able to tell him things no matter how weird or complicated especially since they were about to be married.

the directors cut always cuts out jaitlin's discussion about their past engagement. spike is late as usual, a nod to 'it's late' from degrassi junior high and her pregnancy in this ep and current situation nice. i love how they reference the original series.

joey catching the bouquet and him lament that he plans, makes me wonder if the show was going to explore a real take on marriage between jaitlin. so the 'slow song' playing at this time is titled just jane by christopher rouse which i scoured the internet way back in 2003 for it and didn't get a real download of it until this cd degrassi released with all their background songs on it. i doubt it's available anymore but my friend at the time had it and ripped it and sent me a bunch of the songs like 'heartbreaker' 'get it right this time' and some others.

getting back to the final scene emma discovers sean came to the wedding and the rest is history. the end scene made degrassi crash course on the-n as most intense moment but also it's probably the most romantic because it seems so genuine. and that's a wrap on white wedding. i also would like to mention, if anyone has seen sixteen candles with molly ringwald there's a stark similarity in the dress samantha baker wears and what emma nelson wears. if you know you know if you don't sean is like the 'jake ryan' waiting outside the church or in emma's case under the tree. i only recently made the connection, someone made a post about it but now it's my favorite little thing to think about when i watch this episode and that's all i'm gonna say about that.

17 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#3

See the full post

17 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#2

Craig Manning + Singing the Praises of Locked Briefcases requested by anon

22 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i rarely do this anymore or whatever but let's talk about degrassi season 2 episodes 1 and 2 when doves cry and how it's probably one of the best dtng episodes not just maybe dtng but in the entire franchise.

yes i'm aware it's kinda old and most people don't care but I was watching when doves cry on pluto's degrassi channel last night and I can't help but remark, it's one of the very best. if degrassi had a greatest hits that showcased all the gems this is on the tracklist without a doubt.

as you all know or should know s2 is a strong season and underrated af. as sad and heart breaking the episode(s) are it has aged remarkably well at least the a plot. (side eyes paige attire which dramatically dates the episode)

its almost perfect how Angela is seen to be interested in dinosaurs Craig tells him about the dinosaur (being Albert) that hurts him and then Angela clad in little dinosaur pajamas was able to recall what she had seen. i do like it when degrassi does 'dark' subject matter but this episode is the first episode that really showcases it well.

I've seen this episode so many times and yet I never put 2 and 2 together with the pajamas but it was a nice touch in direction with that attention to detail.

I also had this thought too so Albert found Craig's photo album that had that "perfect family" mash-up picture with Craig, Joey and Angela and inside the book with other pics of Angela and Joey he had taken and I can't help but wonder if Albert lashed out at Craig bc he had hurt feelings regarding his photo book it all came to a head for Albert and that turned to anger and rage as if he shouldn't care about joey and angela bc he is his father not joey and they are associated with his ex who left him whom despite her death he is bitter about.

its important to note craig and alberts rocky relationship was strained long before but the reminders of the past get to Albert. Such as when Craig mentions mom at dinner and he violently throws the plate something in that tells me it's not the first time or would be the last time such a thing would happen. I'm not defending Alberts behavior but even the part where Albert turns and just seeing him look over at Craig when he was on the floor after he beat him in the darkroom as if he felt bad for what he had done after the fact when it's too late and wanted to say something but stopped himself. There's a lot of subtext and the direction really did an excellent job of showing rather than telling you the story.

It's such a well-done episode and if you'd like to show a person who's never seen dtng show them that one. I always struggle with what's a good one to show someone?

With the subplot there's some relief from the dark subject matter but it's one of the top season premieres that gives you chills from the acting the direction camera and more. It has a bittersweet ending with Craig standing up against his dad and ultimately moving in with Joey and freezes on Craig looking back at him as he drives away.

A+

31 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

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