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morganas-pendragons · 3 years

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Forgive Yourself | Bruce Wayne

This is the most attractive version of Bruce Wayne and I will absolutely die on this hill. This idea has been stuck in my head as I've been wanting to introduce my own Bat!Mom and this happened. Featuring the one thing people don't write about: Bruce's struggle with grieving Jason, and maybe Jason coming back as a part 2?

also I don't know how long after that Tim comes around but for sake of sake let's just say he's not around in this one

Tag: @darth-vaders-bitch

***

The scene replays on the back of his eyelids like a movie he simply can't shut off. Jason is there, Jason is dead, Jason is gone and The Joker is laughing and Bruce simply cannot make it stop.

They tell him over and over and over again that it's never easy to lose a child. That part of you goes with them only to never return. That's true. What they don't tell you is how that loss burns and well... you'll never truly be over it.

Grief never gets easier. It's just better to go through it with someone then to do it alone.

That's where you come in.

Jason Peter Todd was one of the sweetest boys you'd ever met. Now granted, he was the second one and much more difficult then Dick, but he'd had your heart from that first moment that you and Bruce had caught him trying to steal the tires off of the Batmobile.

It was endearing, how he'd looked at you. Jason had had so much more difficulty trying to form a bond with Bruce, but not with you. There was just something about your nature and the way you never flinched when he got angry or upset or cruel in his words - because how else was a kid raised in the dark and cold of Crime Alley going to survive? - that made him gravitate more to you then the man you loved.

And oh, did that make Bruce hurt. You could see it in the imperceptible twitch of his brow and the slight crease of his lips when one of the boys fought with him. It was rare for them to fight with you.

"Am I really that bad of a father?"

You had shushed him by slowly grazing your thumb over his lips, back and forth, a low fire burning in his eyes as he met your gaze. There was so much there that his sons didn't see. Couldn't see. ''You're not a bad father, Bruce." You murmured. "You're just someone learning about what you really didn't have.''

And well, Bruce couldn't stop repeating those words in his head as he looked at the photo of him and Jason on the Bat Computer. One of many in this folder. He'd gotten the best seats in the stadium for a baseball game that had taken place outside of Gotham, which Jason had loved because he'd never been out of Gotham until that point, and with him being Bruce Wayne it meant he could pull enough strings for Jason to meet his favorite player.

His smile is blinding. Happy. It's one of the very few times Bruce can remember seeing him so happy.

That's how he wants to remember Jason. Not how he'd found him, not how often he screamed and raged because he was just.. so angry. But like this. Like the little boy he'd called Jaylad and had not told him he loved him nearly enough.

His greatest regret.

"Bruce."

And there stood his greatest triumph, allowing himself to be human enough to realize he'd fallen in love with you. Oh... you. Wonderful, fierce, soft and warm and safe you. You were the only person besides Alfred who had encouraged him to be human. To let himself feel things and remind himself it was okay to be angry.

You had struggled with that yourself when you'd been excommunicated from the League. You refused to be reduced to a quivering mess for fear of retaliation from the Ghūl's or your identity being released.

It was a new life, and you made something of yourself. Bruce had been able to tell how angry you were. How resentful of your circumstances despite how well you'd become.

So you'd taught him it was okay to be angry. And it was okay to feel the way he did, but it shouldn't rule him. You allowing yourself to be open to love - specifically to and from the boys who became your sons - and it had changed your world.

That, despite the loss of his parents, Bruce was still allowed to be loved. He couldn't have prevented what happened or changed it. He couldn't have stopped it. His parents would have wanted him to move on. To get help when he finally accepted he needed it, to allow himself to be happy.

So that was what he did with you. He allowed himself to smile and laugh when you went on dates in and were not ashamed of being together despite disliking large crowds. Of being with him. You would hold his hand and gaze up at him with this look of adoration that could make even Bruce Wayne blush. The way you danced around the kitchen and regarded Alfred as a father. The way you just were. You didn't expect pageantry or being lavished with gifts. You just wanted him and to be a part of his life, his home, his heart.

He allowed himself to fall even deeper in love with you when he watched how good you were with his sons. All the times you'd let Dick crawl into your arms and listen to your stories and all of the times you'd sit with Jason in the quietness of the morning hours before school to help him ease his anxiety or those times at night where he wanted to be read to, or help with his homework.

Those few moments Bruce had watched from afar, dressed in that stupid cream cashmere sweater you loved, and watched his sons grow up with their mother.

He usually prides himself on his ability to remain so composed in the face of everything that thrives on tearing him apart. All the things that should make him buckle just.. don't. Jason had hated that. What comes next makes him crumble.

It's just the simple touch of your hands on his skin. The way your palms are not marred and calloused as his own are and how they drag down the knots in his neck that have made themself at home from how tense he's been.

The way you lean over the chair and smooth your fingers through dark hair, lips brushing against his temple as you do. "Come to bed." You whisper. "Let that be enough for tonight."

Jason's smile is burned onto his eyes. It's cruel, really, that this is the one thing his brain cannot let go of. He can't let go of the feeling of his son's body in his arms or how he had not told him he loved him enough and especially the sound of your scream when you'd found out.

It was a wonder that you were holding yourself together so well.

"We..." He clenches his hands so tightly that his fingernails begin to leave crescents in the skin of his hands. It's meant to anchor him. Pain helps him realize he's alive. That he's still capable of feeling things. "Beloved, we lost our son."

Bruce allows his head to fall just out of sight then, the sound of a broken whimper catching in the back of his throat as you swallow the knot in your own and move to kneel in front of him. It's entirely too cold now that he's made that feel real. Too cold, too quiet. It doesn't feel good in here anymore.

Because what good can you two do if you can't keep your sons safe? Isn't that the whole point of this? To keep the people you love safe? He's Batman, you're a freaking League Assassin trained by Talia herself-

Bruce is pulling you into his lap before you can properly settle yourself there, lunging forward to wrap his arms around your waist and yank you forward until he can hide his face in your chest. "We did." You whisper. If you talk any louder, your voice will break. You cannot break right now. "We lost our son."

And the way those words coming from your mouth just breaks Bruce makes your heart twist in such a painful way. Your chest hurts with the force of it as he allows himself that one moment - in which said moment feels like years - to weep over Jason. He hadn't even allowed himself to do that when you, Alfred, Bruce and Dick had gathered in the same cemetery where his mother was buried to have a funeral.

Bruce allows himself to be held then. With the gentleness of your voice in his ear and the warmth that cancels out the cold of the cave, he allows himself that rare opportunity to just... let go.

And letting go is so, so hard.

I can't let go of my son.

You wish you could tell Jason that his father mourned him like this. Jason had always told you in secret and made you swear not to tell that he thought Bruce didn't care about him. You always told him that he was wrong though. That Bruce just loved people in ways they didn't quite know how to interpret. That they would never understand.

"Then why doesn't he tell me he loves me like you do?"

Jason had been too young to get it. He'd been too young to know where you'd come from in the League, and you were terrified to tell him for fear of how he'd look at you. But Jason would've gotten it far more then DIck would've.

You prayed and prayed and prayed that he'd known he was loved by someone when he left you both. If not, that would be your biggest regret as a mother. Not loving your son enough.

It feels like hours later when you realize Bruce is lax against your body, hands skimming underneath your faded black teeshirt to feel your skin beneath his palms. Touch grounded him. Always had. You shiver softly at the contrast of temperature between the cave and him as you cradle his face in your hands and tilt it upward to look at you.

Your thumbs prick against the newly grown stubble on his jawline. "Bruce," You whisper. Blue eyes pierce your own as you lean inward, just a hairs breadth away from his mouth, when you continue. "I love you."

And then you kiss him. It's long and slow, Bruce's body slowly being pressed against the top of the chair as you move closer and closer and closer until all you can feel is the frantic pounding of his heart and taste his tears on your tongue. Bruce is nothing if not a messy lover, and he kisses the same way he fights. All finesse and fire.

You can feel that he wants to lose himself in you, and that's what prompts you to pull away. You would usually let him but tonight you have a bit of a different idea in mind.

"Come upstairs with me. Dick is asleep, Alfred is asleep. It's just us."

Soft, wide eyes follow your form as you rise to your feet and extend your hand. Together the two of you leave the Cave and traverse the stairs up into the Manor until you're back in the master bedroom, and the lock clicks behind you. It's the signal that you're really alone.

Laughter bubbles past your lips as Bruce's fingers curl around your hips and pull you backwards into his embrace. He is trying so hard to distract you, but you won't let him give into his desire. Not when you are dead set on making him realize the most crucial thing in the midst of the loss of your son.

"Beloved-"

"Sweater off, Mister. Lay down. I want to try something."

He's not someone to usually be nervous. Bruce is more then aware he is a desirable person. It's what all of the tabloids in Gotham love to rant and rave about. They don't know about the underneath. About the scars he'd obtained from keeping Gotham safe, about the suffering he'd been through. About how he viewed himself.

What Bruce has always wanted, however, is devotion.

So he's always a bit timid when it comes to vulnerability. He removes his sweater and curses himself for being so ridiculous but his legs will not move the three feet it takes to get to the bed.

You're being ridiculous. This is your wife. She married you for you.

You press a bare hand to the dip in his chest and usher him backward until he's laying on the bed and you have the ability to crawl over him and kiss him. He groans softly and moves to touch you because he simply cannot get enough, but you don't let him. You pull away to peer into his eyes with this soft expression that makes the tips of his ears pink.

Ridiculous. He is Batman. Batman should not be reduced to a blushing schoolboy because of his wife who didn't used to be so soft-

"Did I ever tell you why I fell in love with you, Bruce?"

"I don't know." He replies honestly. "Is it because of my devilish charm and my equally adorable son?"

"Oh no." Bruce's breath catches in his chest as you graze your fingertips across a rather large, ridged scar that stretches across his breastbone. And then your mouth is trailing kisses across it and the feeling is... overwhelming. But not in a bad way. "It wasn't all the things those models you dated over the years saw. Not the money or the expensive gifts or the freaking huge house-" You laugh softly and shake your head. "Oh no, it wasn't Billionaire Bruce or Batman I saw. It was just you. Just a man."

"Is that all I am?"

"You're a man who wants one thing and one thing only." You are more than aware that Bruce could overpower you if he wanted to when you catch both of his hands in your own and link your fingers with his. Blue eyes catch yours just before you dip your head to whisper into the scarred plains of his chest. "You're just someone," Lips trail across his skin as you venture. You want to learn every story behind every single one of them. "Who wants a home for his aching heart."

And wow.. wow is it true.

"Beloved, I-" It's too overwhelming. It's too much intimacy for one night, something Bruce is still learning to take in small doses because no one has ever loved him like this before. It's interesting... given that you'd grown up as a League Assassin. You hadn't known it either. Not really. But you'd made an effort to embrace it for Dick and Jason and it had changed both of you. "I just..."

Jason's laughter echoes in his ears as you lift your head to meet his eyes. Bruce's eyes are glassy with tears, as are your own. Your thumbs come to press just beneath his eyes before you're swiping them away. His cheeks are wet. It's not your fault. It's Jason's memory haunting him no matter what he does. His laughter, his rare smile, the way you loved him and the way you mourned him...

It's just too overwhelming.

"Bruce," You murmur. Your tone is laced with empathy because you'd had this happen to you in the League too. It's why you were initially hesitant to love Dick and Jason but it had just happened. You couldn't help yourself. "We have to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. You did not fail Jason. Just like I didn't fail the little boy who didn't make it in the League."

You have to forgive yourself.

You roll off of Bruce's chest and settle against his side as he envelops your waist with his arm. To your surprise, however, he then tugs you back on top of him and tucks your head under his chin. He's warmth and security and just... everything. He's everything.

And if you could help it, no pain would ever come to him again.

That's how the Batman falls asleep that night. Not to be disturbed by his nightmares, but with you wrapped around him.

Gently bound in his embrace, tucked away in your home from the cruelty of Gotham outside his window.

Safe.

#Bruce Wayne #Bruce Wayne x Reader #bruce wayne x batmom #batman x batmom #batman x reader

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snelbz · 3 years

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Life As We Know It {Chapter 23}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was torn.

Half of her thought that Cassian was overreacting, but the other half of her thought that his anger and frustration was perfectly justified.

What exactly were they getting into? And, was it what was best for Nyx? Yeah, the last month had been great, but if it didn’t work out, what would that mean for him? Would it be better if she and Cassian had simply remained two friends, co-parenting under one roof?

Nesta’s heart began to beat a little faster.

She felt like she was going into a panic attack.

Cassian and Nyx had been gone for an hour, and every second that passed became more and more unbearable.

She needed him to be there.

She needed to figure this out.

She just didn’t know what the answer was.

Alis had gotten into her head, there was no doubt about that. A little over an hour ago, she was living in a dream, then Alis came in, out of nowhere, and brought her back to reality.

She was sitting on the couch, almost exactly where he’d left her, when he finally returned. He was covered in sweat, his t-shirt sticking to him. Nyx was having a conversation with him, more to himself though, since it didn’t seem like Cassian was even close to paying attention to him. But his eyes went directly to Nesta as soon as he walked in.

She’d changed. She no longer wore his t-shirt, instead in a loose shirt of her own and a pair of jeans, and her hair was loose and wet around her face. As if she’d need to shower their night together, shower him off of her. Not a shred of that beautiful skin was showing, not like she’d been doing lately. Leggings and shorts and tank tops. She’d been comfortable around him.

With a scoff, Cassian set Nyx down on the floor. He headed for the stairs, but Nesta stood, nearly toppling the cup of coffee she’d been clutching over as she set it on the coffee table. “Cassian, we need to talk about this.”

He paused, waving a hand towards her. “What for? It looks like you’ve already made your decision.”

“I need you to calm down,” she said, steadily. “I need you to think logically.”

Cassian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I need you to tell me.”

Nesta hesitated. “Tell you what?”

“If this is something you want to pursue or if I just wasted the last couple months falling in love with you,” he finished.

His voice may have lacked emotion, but Nesta felt every word like a stab in the chest. Falling in love with you. Those were the words she was going to tell him today, under much different circumstances.

Now, she didn’t know what to think.

Now, she was overwhelmed.

Now, all of her thoughts were rushing toward the same spot in the middle of her skull at a thousand miles an hour, and when they got there, her head would explode.

“It’s not that easy,” she said, and her voice cracked.

“But it should be,” Cassian said. “If you feel the way that I do, it should be that easy.”

“We have to think of Nyx,” she breathed.

“I am thinking of Nyx,” he said, struggling to keep his voice low. At the sound of his name, the baby turned to look at him. “I want him to grow up in a happy home, seeing two people who love each other, and damn it if that isn’t how it’s been for the past few weeks.”

“It’s not that simple,” Nesta said, shaking her head. “What happens if we break up? What happens if we get in a fight or something happens to one of us? What then?”

He had strode down the stairs and was in front of her before he could stop himself. He framed her face in his hands, like he had so many times the past month, to kiss her, to make love to her, to show her how he cared for her. “Why are you worrying about the what if’s? Why are you worrying about what could go wrong, rather than how right everything has been?”

Because everything goes wrong eventually. The only reason we’re together is because we were shoved into this house after the worst thing imaginable happened. They died. We took over. What right do we have to be happy?

The words flooded her mind, but stilled on her tongue.

Nesta didn’t push him away. She wanted to reach up on her toes and kiss him, softly, but she didn’t.

Instead, she met his gaze. “Cass,” she breathed.

The pain in his eyes nearly shattered her heart into a million pieces.

Nyx had walked up to them and was hugging Nesta’s leg, as if he knew that she needed the comfort.

“Dont say my name like that,” he whispered.

Nesta slowly shook her head. “I just think this has all happened too quickly. We haven’t been thinking, we’ve just been acting-.”

“You’re pushing me away,” Cassian interrupted, swallowing harshly. “Damn it, Nesta.”

“You don’t understand,” she pleaded.

“Because you’re not making sense,” he argued. “Things have been perfect—”

“They’re dead!” She cried, pulling from his grip, scooping Nyx up. “Things have been far from perfect. We’re only like this now because Rhys and Feyre are dead.”

The words seemed to freeze something inside of Cassian and he stepped back as well. “So what? We go back to how we used to be? I’m back in the guest room and we awkwardly exchange good mornings over breakfast?”

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the sight of him, the scent of him, everything. “I don’t know, Cassian, I don’t—.” She took a shuddering breath, her arms wrapping tighter around Nyx. “I just need some time to think, to breathe…”

When she looked back up at him, his jaw was set and he was slowly nodding. “Fine. Take your time.”

And then he was moving, back up the stairs before Nesta could even ask what he was doing.

A few minutes later, he was back with a duffle bag in his hands.

“Wh—what are you doing?”

“Giving you space,” he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

Nesta opened her mouth but nothing came out. She was frozen where she stood, her feet stuck to the floor, her mouth hanging open, that panic rising from the pit of her stomach into her heart, which was beating far too quickly.

Cassian kissed Nyx on the forehead as he passed, but paid Nesta no mind as he went for the door.

“Cassian!” She called, at last.

Cassian stopped just in front of the door, keeping his back to her, one hand on the doorknob.

“You're just going to leave?” She asked, quietly, bouncing a sleepy Nyx on her hip. “Just like that?”

Cassian didn’t turn around. “Are you going to ask me to stay?”

Yes. No. I don’t know. Nesta said nothing.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he grumbled, exhaustion lacing his tone. “Maybe I need time to think, too.”

He opened the door and shut it softly behind him.

He didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t have anywhere else to go.

He knew where he wanted to be, but right now…

He couldn’t look at her.

It didn’t escape him that when he’d told her he’d fallen in love with her, she didn’t say it back. He couldn’t even act like he hadn’t seen her eyes flare in panic. So he couldn’t stay there. Couldn’t go back to sleeping in that guest room, not when he’d become so used to sleeping with her in his arms every night.

So Cassian had ended up here, knocking on his brother’s door, thankful that his car had been parked in the driveway when he pulled up.

He needed a drink. He needed someone to tell him he was being an asshole. He needed someone to listen while he vented and bitched. He knew Azriel would do all that for him.

When he answered the door, Seph was in his arms, pulling on his bottom lip. She smiled when she saw Cassian, but Azriel’s surprised smile quickly faded.

“Do I want to know?” He asked, looking at the duffel bag tossed over Cassian’s shoulder.

Cassian sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

Azriel stared at him for a second before stepping aside and letting Cassian pass.

“Are we talking about this now or later?” Azriel asked, shutting the door behind them.

“Beer?” Cassian asked, dropping his bag beside the couch.

“Fridge,” Azriel said, slowly, watching him.

Cassian made his way to the kitchen and threw open the refrigerator door, grabbing a cold bottle and chugging its contents.

Azriel followed, leaning against the countertop and Seph continued to play with his lips.

“Where’s Elain?” Cassian asked, tossing the empty bottle into the trash and getting another.

“Work,” Azriel said, sighing. “So, if this involves smack talking Nesta, you may want to get it out now.”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to do that, barely wanted to think about her. But he owed Azriel at least some explanation.

“The social worker stopped by this morning,” he sighed, leaning back against the counter and opening the beer. “And honestly, yeah, it was unexpected, but I figured it’d be fine. Last time, Nes was drunk off her ass, but we— I figured, since we were more of a family this time, things would be great.”

Azriel blinked. “They’re not taking Nyx, are they?”

Another shake of his head. “No, gods, no. They— She could tell he was in good hands, but she immediately picked up on Nesta and I. What we’ve…become.”

It seemed, just like Cassian, Azriel didn’t see it as a problem. He wasn’t following. “And?”

“And Nyx was hungry so I left the social worker and Nesta alone to get him breakfast. I came back and she’s gone and Nesta is second-guessing our relationship. She asked if I’m just fucking her out of convenience.”

The thought made him sick to his stomach, almost as badly as it hurt his heart.

“And you replied with…” Azriel began, trailing off, waiting for Cassian to finish the sentence.

“I went for a jog,” Cassian said, shrugging.

“So you ran away?” Azriel pushed.

Cassian shot him a look. “No. I went for a jog.”

Azriel sighed. “And when you came back?”

“She said she needed space,” Cassian said, emptying his bottle.

Azriel set Seph on the floor with a plastic spatula, which she instantly start banging on the cabinets. “And that’s when you ran away?”

“I didn’t run,” Cassian snapped. “I gave her what she wanted. I gave her space.”

Azriel slowly shook his head. “Did you even try to talk things out?”

“Yes,” Cassian said, the word clipped. “Told her I was falling in love with her, and guess how she replied?”

Azriel watched his brother.

“Didn’t say a fucking word,” Cassian finished.

When Azriel didn’t speak, he walked back to the trash can, dropping the bottle inside.

“Quit looking at me like I’m the bad guy here,” he said, unable to turn around and look his brother in the eye. “She was ending it. She was calling things off and I’m supposed to, what? Just keep living there like we were before? Pretend nothing has changed?” He swallowed hard, willing the damn tears clouding his vision to fade. They wouldn’t. “She didn’t even ask me to stay.”

Azriel sighed, opening a cabinet beside the fridge that Seph couldn’t reach. He produced a bottle of whiskey and set it on the counter. “I can’t drink until Elain gets home. And I absolutely think you need to talk to Nesta, but I think you’re right. You need to stay here tonight. Give her space.”

Cassian blinked, and a tear that was holding on slid free, down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away. He felt ridiculous, but it had been a long time since he had told a woman that he loved her. He’d never said it in his adulthood. A couple times in his teens, before he knew what the word really meant, but never as an adult.

He’d said it.

He’d meant it.

And she hadn’t felt the same.

Cassian nodded and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

Nesta stared at Cassian’s contact on her phone screen.

She wanted to press the call button, but didn’t.

She did open a blank text a few times, but couldn’t type anything.

She didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to do.

She knew what she wanted.

She wanted Cassian.

But, she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

She had never been one who was dependent on a man, had spent most of her twenties single and having no problem with it. But suddenly, she couldn’t imagine her day to day life without Cassian in it. And that terrified her.

She heard murmuring on the baby monitor sitting next to her on the side table and glanced over to see Nyx sitting up in his crib.

It had been nearly three hours since Cassian left, and aside from putting Nyx down for a nap, Nesta had barely moved. She still sat in the same spot on the couch she’d been in when the social worker had shown up and when she’d ignored that Cassian had said that he loved her.

The words should have filled her with joy and she should have screamed from the rooftops that she loved him, too. Instead she locked up and thought she was going to be sick.

What was wrong with her?

Wiping away the tears she didn’t even realize had fallen, Nesta hurried up the stairs, and into Nyx’s nursery. He reached for her the moment he saw her, his own big, blue eyes beginning to fill with tears.

“What’s wrong, bubba?” She cooed, resting his head against her shoulder.

After a deep sigh, he looked up at her and reached for a tear that had fallen down her cheek. His lip began to wobble.

“I’m okay,” Nesta promised, even though her voice cracked and those tears continued. “I’m okay, buddy, I promise.”

Nyx knew, though.

He knew something wasn’t right.

He knew Cassian was gone.

He knew Nesta was heartbroken.

Little did he know that her heartbreak was self-inflicted.

Nyx laid his head back on her shoulder and clung to her. He stayed like that as she walked back downstairs and sat back in her spot on the couch.

He held onto her, looking around the room. She knew he was looking for him and was about to tell him he wasn’t here when he spoke. The word wasn’t a mash up of noises like it had always been. No, it was a true and steady word. His first word.

“Dada?”

Nesta froze. She didn’t even know what to say. Should she tell him Cassian wasn’t his father? He probably wouldn’t even understand, just like he didn’t understand where Rhys and Feyre had gone.

But…for all intents and purposes, Cassian was his daddy now. And she was his mama.

So she pressed a kiss to his dark hair and whispered. “He had to leave, baby. He had to go for a little while.”

Nesta hoped and prayed that Cassian would walk back through that door, and yet, she couldn’t muster the courage to ask him to.

That night, instead of Cassian taking up the spot next to her, it was Nyx, who held her hand until they both fell asleep.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #lawki #snacmc collab #snelbz tacmc collab #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #nessian #nesta #cassian

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anothers-trash-my-treasure · 3 years

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Take It Out On Me

Happy Smutty Saturday! I seem to like writing things revolving around the pandemic lmaoo I'm sorry, I don't want to make that a habit. This is escapism, after all. Anyways, request from god knows how long ago about angry fucking with our fav gremlin boi

Pairing: Merriell Shelton / Reader (Female)

Warnings: 18+. There's some angst, some words exchanged in anger but nothing too crazy. Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it pls don't be dumb) Rough sex, dirty talking, hints of BDSM if you squint, praise kink if you squint.

Word Count: 3K

Tag List: @edteche2 @xmxisxforxmaybe @diasimar @txmel @gloriousdarkangelsworld @paradoxicaltornado @404-not-found-xix

Enjoy!

When the pandemic started, things weren’t so bad. Your job allowed you to simply work from your laptop, you had turned the second bedroom/storage room into a makeshift office and it worked just fine. Merriell, on the other hand, was not so lucky. He had been laid off, and, at first, was incredibly stressed about it. Thankfully though, you made enough money to cover the rent and the government came through with some financial aid that helped Mer pay for the bills. You’d be okay.

In fact, once the financial stresses were taken care of, it was actually kind of nice. You two hadn’t lived together long, but long enough that you had noticed your schedule differences and long enough to know you had missed each other. Gone were the late nights at the shop that left you lonely and missing his touch. Quite the contrary, during the first few months, you had fucked like rabbits. He had taken you in every room of the house like you were christening the damn thing all over again. The kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, hell, he even had you in your ‘office’ at one point. It was fun, being together all the time.

Until it wasn’t.

Eventually, being cooped up in the same goddamn space all the damn time got to both of you. And you loved him dearly but god he was so fucking annoying sometimes. Usually, you could avoid creating tension either by slinking away to your office for a bit or politely asking him to take a walk. But the office door had been a lost cause ever since he fucked you up against it so hard it came right off its hinges and it was raining outside, so he couldn’t leave. You were stuck.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad, but the little things that usually didn’t matter had gone unchecked and undiscussed and were beginning to bite at your skin in a way you couldn’t ignore. For you, it had started when you went to the bathroom in the morning, only to discover he had left the toilet seat up and you fell right through. For him it had started when you unconsciously kicked him awake at 6 in the morning on a Saturday. And from there it spiraled. By the time you were ready for coffee, he had drunk the whole pot.

“Thanks for leaving me some.” you had grumbled, and maybe you meant it in good fun, but your sleepy attitude struck a chord, and you knew that because it was met with silence.

So maybe that’s why you didn’t ask him if he wanted some of the eggs you were making for breakfast. And maybe that’s why he decided the be extra loud when he finally made his own breakfast. Pots and pans clanging as he threw them in the sinks, cupboard doors slamming shut and using his fork just a little too violently in a way that set your whole being on edge.

By the end of the day, you had snapped at each other a few times and the tension was so thick that you could barely stand just being next to him. You hated that you were feeling this way, that these stupid lockdowns were driving you away from each other when all you wanted was the opposite. But you couldn’t let go of your anger and annoyance, and it bled through your veins, poisoning any conflict resolution that threatened to act as an antidote to your frustrations.

The last straw came at dinner. He had asked you what you wanted to eat and just the question had you gritting your teeth. So you had replied, telling him that he could make whatever he wanted. That, apparently, was the wrong answer.

“Jesus fucking christ,” he snarled, slamming his hand down onto the kitchen island, “Can you please jus' tell me what the fuck you want?!”

You had done nothing more than glance his way and roll your eyes, not getting a chance to respond before he was launching into a tangent.

“Seriously, what the fuck do ya think I am? Some kinda mind reader?” He asks, one hand gesturing wildly while the other keeps the counter in a white-knuckled grip, “Ya been in this fuckin’ mood all goddamn day and Darlin, I gotta say, ‘m fuckin’ sick of it.”

You bark out a sharp, bitter laugh, “Oh, you’re sick of it?” You stand up from the couch, walking behind it so you can get closer to him, “Like you haven’t been intentionally pissing me off all fucking day.”

His jaw pushes out in annoyance, both hands now gripping the countertop, “I promise you,” and you gotta give the guy credit for trying to regain some composure, “whateva’ I did to make you this goddamn bitchy was not intentional.”

“Oh, so I’m a bitch now?” You counter, folding your arms over your chest.

His eyes close and his chin tucks into his chest, recognizing his mistake but unwilling to apologize for it, “That’s not what I meant.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Tell me.” you insist, stepping closer to him, “Tell me what a bitch I’ve been. Blame all your problems on me. Because that’s just easier, isn’t it?”

It’s not true. You know. He knows it. But right now, all you can focus on is the anger that’s been boiling in the pit of your stomach.

“Y’know what? Maybe this-” he cuts himself off, but his quick gesture between the two of you finishes the rest of his sentence for him. Silence fills the kitchen and now there’s salt added to the wound. Hurt swirls with your anger and you can’t stop yourself from talking even if you tried.

“No, say it.” you encourage bitterly, crossing the line into the kitchen, “Tell me how moving in together was a mistake. Tell me how you can’t fucking stand living with me. Tell me how I’m so bitchy and how sick you are of my shit. Tell me-”

Before you can finish antagonizing him, he’s got you pushed up against the wall, his hands braced on either side of your head. He’s so close to you, you can feel his breath, angry and panting on your skin. You look into his eyes, seeing them hard and cold with his anger but something else lying behind them.

“Shut the fuck up,” he growls, and before you can even begin to be angry about it his lips are on yours and you can’t breathe.

His anger is very apparent, even as he kisses you. It’s rough, bruising, but it’s an outlet for all the negative feelings you’ve been experiencing so you kiss him back just as hard. You reach for him, unsure if you’re working to pull him closer and push him away. It doesn’t really matter though because he doesn’t let you touch him for long. Within seconds both your wrists are taken in one hand and pinned above your head. You fight against his hold, despite knowing it’s futile. In retaliation you bite down hard on his lip, feeling only a little satisfied when he pulls away in shock, his free hand coming up to check for blood. There's not.

You meet his eyes with a defiant smirk. He wants to play dirty? Fine. You can play that way too.

He steps away and for a second you think he’s actually going to walk away. But then-

“Get your ass to the bedroom.”

You almost laugh. If he thinks you’re, in any way, going to be compliant tonight, he’s sadly mistaken. Instead, you cross your arms, falling back to lean against the wall, your eyes never leaving his. He chuckles, an angry smirk crossing his features. He looks away, shaking his head, tongue poking against the side of his cheek in complete disbelief. Before you can think of your next move he’s got you thrown over his shoulder, marching the both of you down the hallway to your shared bedroom. You squirm, trying to push yourself to an angle that would let you fight his grip but it’s no use. By the time you work his hold free, he’s already dropping you on the bed. Although dropping may not be the right word, he all but slams you down, leaving you momentarily breathless.

Even then, he moves quickly. His hands move to his belt, quickly working the clasp back and off so he can slide his jeans off. Despite your anger, you feel heat pool between your legs when the fabric drops to reveal bare skin. It’s nothing new for Merriell, but it never fails to do something to you. He knows it too, a cocky smile gracing his face as he sheds his shirt too. He only lets you look for a second before he’s quickly flipping you onto your stomach. He forces you up onto your knees, hand finding the back of your neck to keep you where he wants you as he climbs onto the mattress behind you.

You put up a bit of a fight, although you’re becoming less and less focused on your anger and frustration and more focused on the feeling on his cock pressing against the back of your jean-clad thigh.

“Always seem to forget how fucking stubborn you are.” He growls into your ear, pressing himself against the line of you body while his free hand starts to unbutton and work off your pants, “Hard headed and difficult.” he continues, biting roughly on your earlobe just to here your intake of breathe and to feel you struggle against his hold, “A fucking brat.” He punctuates the last words by tugging both your jeans and panties down around your thighs roughly. You hiss at the forcefulness of the action, feeling the burn of the fabric against your skin contrasting with cool air against your bare pussy.

You’re completely at his mercy.

His presence is dominating, even though you can’t see him, his hands, one pressing on your neck to keep you still and the other caressing the swell of your ass, let you know exactly who's in charge. You don’t struggle, both of you knowing how much you want him, but you still hold an air of defiance. Your face is turned so you can breathe, but you won’t give him the satisfaction of looking at him. He tries to draw you out, teasing you by dragging his cock against your wetness. He alternates between taking the tip and rubbing it between your folds and fucking the space between your thighs. He knows what it does to you, can see the way you fight the urge to beg by pressing your lips together.

But you don’t fold.

“C’mon baby,” he taunts, venom laced in his words, “I know you want it.” As he talks the hand on your neck slides up into your hair, “Know you want that attitude fucked outta ya,” He tugs your hair roughly, pulling a gasp from your lips and forcing you to look back at him, “All ya gotta do is ask.”

You breathe heavily for a second, eyes locked with his, “Go fuck yourself.”

He growls, shoving your head back down into the mattress and thrusting into you roughly. Your back arches, eyes rolling back in your head as he begins to fuck you, not allowing you even a second to catch your breath. The second he sees bliss cross your features, he’s insufferable.

He laughs against a moan, “Feisty,” he comments, “but the second my dick’s in ya, you’re putty in my hands.”

You’re desperate to prove him wrong. You force your eyes open, locking them with his and pushing back against his thrusts, the headboard already banging against the wall with the force of both your movements.

“Feel’s good doesn’t it?” He asks, free hand coming down on your ass with a sharp smack.

“I’ve had better.” Your voice bounces with each thrust, but you’re determined to keep your composure, despite the pleasure that makes your toes curl.

Another growl rumbles through his chest and he lays another harsh smack to your rear, just to see your body react, “Liar,” he hisses, fingers digging into your skin.

His angle changes ever so slightly so that his cock now drags against your sweet spot with every movement and you can’t force your moan back. His eyes light up, laughing delightedly at the sound, “Had betta’ my ass.” he comments, leaning down to bite roughly on your shoulder, effectively leaving marks all across them, “Ya jus’ can’t help ya’self. You love it. Love the feeling of my cock in you.”

“Who says I’m thinking of you?” You shoot back.

You know it’s not true. Merriell was unlike any lover you had before, you were hopelessly and utterly ruined for anyone else. But that didn’t matter. The comment, however untruthful, hits his possessive streak just like you knew it would. He pulls out of you, flipping you onto your back and nearly ripping the remaining fabric off your body before resuming his brutal pace, this time using your wrists on either side of your head to hold you down. In this position he can ensure that you’re looking at him, leaving no doubt in either of your minds that it’s him that makes you feel like this. Only him.

“Such a fucking brat,” he growls, leaving bite marks all along your skin. By the time you’re done, there won’t be a part of your body that’s not marked by him.

He stops talking for a second, focusing instead on giving you the fucking of your life. He’d never fucked you like this. He’d been possessive, sweet, caring, loving, jealous. But never angry. Not like this. Every ounce of frustration and anger he’d felt was redirected to his hips, the air tense with the hurtful words you’d both said earlier.

“C’mon,” you taunt when he slows for a second, lips turned up in a sneer even as you pant, breathless, “That all you got?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he snarls, hoisting your legs up onto his shoulders, releasing your hands so he can move one to your throat, pressing you into the bed that way instead. It’s hard for you to breathe that way, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it. And if you thought he was fucking you hard before, it’s nothing compared to the way he’s fucking you now.

The new angle allows him to trust deeper into you and your stubborn resolve begins to fade a little. Your hands scramble to latch onto his forearm that holds you down, not trying to push him away but just searching for purchase, for support somewhere you’ve always found it. He’s not faring much better, head rolling back onto his shoulders with a groan as he fucks you. You’re both quickly abandoning your anger in favor of the pleasure that you provide each other.

“Merriell,” you mewl, a peace offering without even realizing it.

His head snaps back to look down at you, eyes sparkling at the sound of your name on his lips for the first time tonight, “There she is,” he pants, leaning down to kiss you, open-mouthed and filthy. It’s still harsh, but the anger behind his motions is nearly gone, “My good girl, huh?”

You don’t even need to nod, to voice your confirmation. It’s not even really a question. You both know you’d come to an unspoken agreement.

“Fuck, baby girl.” he moans against your mouth, slowing his trusts just enough so he can really make you feel the drag of his cock inside you, “Oh, you feel so good.”

You love it when he gets like this. When all he can do is fuck into you and voice his pleasure. It’s a sure sign of surrender.

“Yes,” you gasp, back arching up against his as you feel your pleasure begin to reach its peak, “Merriell, I’m close.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, nodding in agreement, “C’mon, baby I gotcha. Let go for me.”

Your eyes lock with his the second you feel yourself slip over the edge. You see the way his eyes watch you, full of love that he had hidden behind his anger earlier. Your nails dig into his arm and your eyes roll back, unable to help yourself as pleasure courses through your whole body. You think that maybe you're shaking, but you’re completely detached from your conscious, knowing only the bliss he’s brought you.

Your senses come back to you just in time to feel him finish inside of you. His head buries into your neck, muffling his moans against your skin. The hand that had previously held you down now cups the back of your neck, the other gripping the back of your thigh with a grip so tight, you’re sure you’ll wear his fingerprints for a week.

He collapses against you, staying buried in your heat but pulling back enough so he can kiss you passionately. You kiss him back, hands tangling in his hair as your emotions begin to rise. When he pulls back your eyes are wet with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, rubbing your noses together.

He nods, rubbing your noses together affectionately, “Me too,” he says, just as quiet, “Don’t leave.”

It’s a rare moment of sheer vulnerability, much needed after the heightened tensions throughout the past few days. You both knew, on some levels that the words shared earlier were spoken only out of frustration. But there was always that glimmer of doubt that you both felt. For him, it was always that you could find someone better. And for you, it was always the possibility of him growing sick of you.

You shake your head, kissing his softly, lovingly, “Never.”

After a few more moments of holding each other, he pulls out of you but doesn't move much further. He pulls you tight against his chest, kissing the top of your forehead. You bask in the silence for a handful of moments, just listening to each other breathe, finally feeling the tension between the two of you dissipate.

“Next time, can you just please put the seat down?” You murmur against his chest, a teasing tone to your voice.

He barks out a laugh and you grin against his skin at the sound.

Everything was going to be okay.

#merriell shelton #merriell shelton x reader #merriell shelton / reader #snafu #snafu shelton #snafu x reader #rami malek #rami malek smut #rami malek x reader #smut #angst

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222col · 3 years

Text

Complicated (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: following on from part two, what happens now with Bucky and Y/N, now the cat is out of the bag?

Word Count: 1,003

Note: u guys r gonna hate me for this one hehehehe sorry also !!!!! tag list : @igothroughphasesalot , @loudbluepancake , @deans-other-baby (let me know if u wanna be added) update: part 4!!

Y/N was so grateful to be surrounded by her chosen family the few days following. Nat and Wanda didn’t leave her side. Even sleeping on her floor to keep her company. She said she was fine, but they all knew she just didn’t want to show any weakness. “I’m going to go over to Finn’s today, get some of my stuff back and return his.” Y/N announces as the three girls all start to get ready for the day. “Do you really think that’s a good idea, Y/N? Why don’t you let one of us do it?” Wanda responds, worried about the idea. “No it’s okay, I need to do this. And technically we haven’t even officially broken up yet so I should probably do that.” The girls laugh and continue to get ready.

She packs up a bunch of clothes and puts it in the back of her car, heading towards Finn’s place. Standing outside his door, she freezes. She can’t move to even knock on the door. After a few deep breathes and thoughts of encouragement, she knocks. Finn answers pretty quickly, his look is hard to read, almost no emotion. “I just brought your things, and wanted to collect mine.” He nods and gestures for her to enter the apartment. Y/N places the box of his things on the couch, and he grabs the bag of her things from his bedroom. “Bucky really did do a number on you, didn’t he?” He scoffs.

“I really am so sorry, Y/N, I wish we could start all over again.” He holds her hands, looking directly into her eyes. “Well, we can’t,” she removes her hands from her grasp. “You did this Finn, no one else, just you.” He bows his head. “I know, baby, I messed up.” Y/N rolls her eyes, but she can’t help the way her heart skipped a beat when he called her baby. “Even after all the shit you’ve pulled, you still have some kind of spell over me.” He smiles, and reaches for her hands again, she doesn’t stop him. “Please, princess. Just one more chance, I promise you I’d never hurt you again.”

Her eyes close, all the pros and cons running through her head. Only one that really matters. Bucky. It’s the only thing stopping her from saying yes immediately. He was her right person, wrong time. And sometimes, you just have to let them stay as that. “One chance, Finn.” He lifts her up, spinning her around as his lips attach to hers. She giggles and kisses him back. “I gotta get back.” Y/N says, her feet back on the floor. “Okay, baby, I’ll call you later.” He places another kiss on her lips and off she goes back to the compound.

“Yeah, she totally bought it.” Finn speaks into his phone, Y/N now out of reach of hearing. “Exactly, I can’t beat Bucky with strength, but I can beat him with smarts.” He laughs. “And Y/N is his weak spot. It’s gonna kill him when he finds out she forgave me, stupid bitch.”

Arriving back at home, Y/N was trying to find the words to explain to her friends what had happened. Sitting on her bed, practising out what to say. “You took him back, didn’t you?” Nat asks, leaning on Y/N’s doorframe. Her heart sinks, she simply nods her head. Natasha sighs, walking over and joining her friend on the bed. “Just be careful, okay?” Y/N nods her head, thanking Natasha for being so understanding. “Now you gotta tell Bucky.” Natasha rubs her back. “Do I have to?” She says, giving her friend the puppy dog eyes. “Don’t give me that look you know I can’t say no to it.” The two of them giggle. “I’ll tell him, soon, I promise.”

Bucky knocks on Y/N’s door just after dinner, knowing she was hanging out on her own. He hears her say ‘come in’ so he does. “Oh, hey, Buck,” She says, switching the TV to mute. “Hey, Y/N, could we talk for a minute?” She nods her head and pats the empty space on her bed, signalling for him to sit. “So I was wondering, if maybe you wanted to, I don’t know, come to dinner with me maybe? Like a date?” Bucky asks, stumbling over his words and fiddling with his fingers. She doesn’t respond straight away, he looks up at her, desperately waiting for her answer. “I’m still with Finn, Bucky, I’m sorry.” It was as though Bucky felt his heart psychically break. He missed his chance, again. He’d never known pain like this. “I understand, Y/N, sorry for bothering you.” With that, he left her room, before Y/N had the chance to respond.

He had to go through it all again. Watching them together. He thought he finally had his chance. To get the girl of his dreams. He didn’t even realise he was walking until he ended outside of Steve’s room. Bucky sighed, it was time to tell him. He knocks and Steve quickly opens the door. He can tell by Bucky’s facial expression that things aren’t good. “Are you finally gonna tell me about Y/N?” Bucky looks shocked. “You don’t seriously think I never noticed that you had the hots for her? What am I, a hundred years old?” Steve winks to his friend, causing Bucky to laugh slightly. “Come in, buddy.”

Bucky spends the rest of the afternoon telling Steve all about his feelings for Y/N, and what had happened the past few days. “Oh, Buck.” He pats his friend on the back. “I’m sorry, man.” Bucky shrugs his shoulders. “But I really don’t trust this Finn guy, and I know Nat doesn’t either anymore. I think we do something about it.” Bucky shakes his head and waves his hands in surrender. “Count me out. I don’t want Y/N thinking I’m meddling.” Steve ponders, “That’s true. Fine, Nat and I will do something about it.” Bucky looks to his friend and furrows his brow. “I think you missed the point there, Steve.” Steve stands up and heads to the door. “Too late.” He replies, leaving the room. Bucky falls back onto Steve’s bed and sighs. “Great.”

#Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #the winter soldier #winter solider x y/n #winter soldier #tfatws #avengers #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu imagine #mcu #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #Steve Rogers

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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years

Text

Regrets // Victoria De Angelis

words // 1557

warnings // angst, mentions of abusive relationships (not details)

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x GN!Reader, Ethan Torchio x Platonic!Reader

author's note // taglist here. please only let me know if you want to be tagged on that google form so i know what to tag you on, thank you

I KNOW I MADE HER LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE BUT MY ANGSTY ASS NEEDED SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO BE ABLE TO WRITE THIS FIC SOOO... I LOVE VICTORIA, I DON'T THINK SHE'S AN ASSHOLE AND THE WHOLE I BULLY YOU MEANS I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU TROPE IS STUPID IN EVERY OTHER OCCASION BUT IN FANFICTION ITS FINE

also i changed the original tittle because i didnt like it that much

request // yes

summary // Reader is Ethan's best friend and because of that they are around the band a lot. Maybe a hint of jealously, a toxic partner and a visit at the hospital will be enough to change their relationship with Victoria from hate to love. Or maybe the love was there all along.

The first time the two met each other was right after the band finally united. Y/N’s had been Ethan’s best friend for years now, making the fateful meeting inevitable - as well as the obscure amount of time they would have to spend around each other. If anything, the drummer was attached to the hip with his best friend, tagging them along to every show, many rehearsals (there was even a suggestion to come with him on Måneskin’s European tour - it would be a nightmare if they did).

Victoria did not take long to adopt a defensive mode against them, one that not even she could decipher. Maybe it was the way they were just always there, like leech attached to her bandmate, or maybe it was that annoying way they dressed, all out there and attracting her attention, or maybe it was that stupid girlfriend of theirs that just had to make it known they were a couple. She really did get on Victoria’s nerves a awful lot. She was nice, not going to lie, just maybe a little too nice - ickly nice, she’d say. She wasn’t sure why but that girl simply made Victoria’s gut drop every time.

For years, as that relationship lasted, Victoria and Y/N would butt heads, always at each other’s throat with something to say and complain about. What are they doing here again, the bassist would ask over and over again. Just here to piss you off, Y/N would say, walking to Ethan. Other times it’d be the opposite. It just always was… a mess.

Everyone could see the situation the two found themselves into but no one could do anything. No, not until they opened their own damn eyes.

The dislike between the two only grew stronger and stronger as time passed by, with their insults getting worse. Truth be told, no one expected it to get that bad, and now they just hoped to stop.

For a while, Y/N was facing some drama in the relationship, some that could end up pretty bad. Not few were the nights Ethan would get a phone call in the middle of rehearsal, sobbing heard even beyond his phone. Please, please come get me Ethan. I don’t think …. The rest was inaudible for Victoria, not that I care, she would remind herself, moving on with her work.

On occasion she’d joke about it to Y/N. What? Trouble in paradise, cucciolo? Oh well. Deep down she knew she should not say that but she could not control herself. Y/N was pretty put together some of those times, others they’d just snap with no regard to anything. Just shut your fucking mouth, they said once adding a few profanities to explain their anger.

After the fourth time it happened the blonde had gotten genuinely angry. “Ok, enough. Close your phone, Ethan,” she spat out, almost snatching it off his hand. “They can wait.”

“But-”

“No! They have cut short three out of our four rehearsals this week! This is the fifth rehearsal, Ethan, their fourth time! They’re a big kid now, they should not need you all the time.”

In time she would regret those words but in that moment they seemed appropriate. She had grown exasperated at their constant interruptions. Well, most of the time they were not really disturbing - they’d call on a break or just cuddle with Ethan on a break, at a time they had for the solemn reason of relaxing - but Victoria would not admit that. Not to herself and not to anyone.

“Ok.” Ethan whispered the words, silencing his phone with a heavy heart. He had a bad feeling, that he knew for sure, but he did not feel like fighting with the blond bassist.

The hours they worked passed by quickly, feeling more like quick moving water, their session was simply flowing. It was now quiet, maybe around three in the morning. 2.58 AM read the clock on the table. Ethan was sure his best friend was sleeping by now. He’d shoot them a text and then go to sleep as well - lord knows he needed it. Well, not everything always goes as planned.

Victoria was by him when it happened.

His phone started to ring while he was about to walk to his room. Y/N. If he was not concerned earlier that night there was no way he was not now. It was not common for them to call at hours like this, if anything they were usually asleep by eleven, maybe even twelve.

“Pronto. Che? A- cazzo, sì, sì. Sto venendo ora.” showing off my italian lol

“Ethan? What happened?” She was not sure of her feelings in that instant. Why was she even asking him? She did not care about them, right? But no, no, it was not worry. It was fear of guilt. And worry, but that she was not aware of.

“Y/N is at the hospital,” he breathed out, “they- uhm… Their ex hurt them - thank god their neighbor was there and heard what happened. Oh my- if-if-if he was not there Y/N-”

Victoria could not stand seeing her friend like that. She believes that she’s never once seen Ethan this emotional - not negatively emotional, that is. He always keeps his composure so well but this time it just was not possible. The blonde just stood there now, holding Ethan in her arms, whispering comforting things to him, hoping that he’d calm down a bit.

“I-I should’ve answered the phone Vic… It- I could have prevented this. Oh god, it’s my-”

“Ethan no! If it’s anyone’s fault here, it’s mine. I should not have snapped like I did.”

“I- yeah. Yeah, you know what, yeah, it is your fault.” He was sad, he was anxious, he was angry… A whirlwind of emotions really, and Victoria’s statement made him target it to her. “It is your fault Vic, with that-that stupid, stupid, conflict you two have. I’m leaving.”

“Where are yo-”

“To the hospital! Where the fuck else?” Ethan’s voice was rising by the second, as his blood started boiling in his veins. He knew he could not drive there, but he was not about to say it.

“I’ll drive you-”

“No. I can do it on my own.”

“Please. It’s the least I can do.” Victoria’s eyes were cast to the floor, unsure of what else to do. She knew that things were taken too far this time, the least she could do was drive her friend to the hospital.

The drive there was quiet. Neither knew what to say. Victoria was feeling guilty, afraid, and even worried about Y/N’s well-being, regardless of whether she could she tried to focus on the road. More injured people would not be helpful. Ethan on the other hand was fuming. He was angry out of his head; at his blonde friend, at himself and most of all that bitch, Y/N’s ex. She was the one to cause all of this, all of it, even problems he was not aware she was the cause of.

As they arrived there there was even more trouble on their way. He’s not family, he’s not a spouse, neither is Victoria. It was always like that. They would not let them pass if they were not either of those things but, god bless that man, the nurse that called him showed up, recognizing the voice and assuring the nurse, on the front, that he was indeed the only person on their emergency contacts, they had to pass. With a lot of complaining they were finally let to pass.

When they walked in the room Y/N was laying on the bed asleep and at first both their minds went to the worst case scenario. “I have given them some painkillers for now. They’ll be ok but some injuries cause severe pain -” he was walking outside along with Ethan.

Victoria was now left alone in the room with Y/N, although it felt as if she was looking at a photo of them rather than the real life Y/N. “I’m sorry,” was all she could say, the only thing that felt right to do at that moment. “It’s my fault -oh my it is! Ethan, he-he wanted to respond to the call by I-I got so angry!” She cried out, now grasping Y/N’s hand. “I can only hope he can forgive me. Hell, I hope you forgive me. It’s my fault you’re-”

“It’s not, Victoria.”

“You are awake?”

“It’s not your fault. I was already here when I called the first time. Neither of you could have changed a thing.” They were so calm - maybe it was the painkillers, she thought. “Thank you. For the apology I mean.”

“Yeah. I, uh, I’m sorry for everything Y/N. I-”

“Hey, stop! It’s ok. What’s by is by,” they laughed, never missing the opportunity to joke. (you know, bi - by… terrible pun)

“I, uh,” she paused, thinking of what to say next. She remembered a small chocolate bar in her pocket. She was about to eat it when the call happened. “I don’t know if you’re supposed to eat chocolate but I know you like it.”

“Oh my, it’s my favorite,” they gushed, prompting Vic to come closer.

“Come, sit, sit! We can share it.”

“Yeah, I guess we can.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost @superchrystaldrug

#måneskin #måneskin imagine #måneskin fanfic #måneskin x reader #victoria de angelis #victoria de angelis imagine

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babyboibucky · 4 years

Text

Babysitting Bucky - Part 6

Pairing: FATWS!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,217

Summary: You’ve been assigned by the government to keep an eye on the Winter Soldier to ensure that he was no longer a threat to the world.

Warnings: Implied oral (F receiving) wink wink, mention of self-harm

A/N: My works are rarely proofread because I’m a mediocre bitch like that lmfao. Thank you to everyone who signed up to my masterlist and for all the feedback!!! I really love reading everyone’s reactions, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated luv u all xoxo

Also, I can’t tag some of those who requested to be in my taglist, I apologize :(

MASTERLIST

You were out of it the entire night of the stakeout; your mind always found its way back to how Bucky looked like when he got out of the shower. It was as if it was imprinted in your brain, how his vibranium arm glistened beneath the dim motel light and how low his towel hung around his waist easily showing off that glorious V-cut that led down to his—

“Jesus Christ.” You huffed out quietly as you laid in bed.

Bucky volunteered to take the first shift so you could get some sleep in before your turn. Given that you haven’t gotten enough rest since your arrival at the compound, you knew better than to argue.

Despite Bucky’s half-naked body plaguing your thoughts, sleep came to you easily.

Something hard and cold being wrapped around your arm slowly stirred you from your sleep. You managed to ignore it until you felt the same sensation again, but this time on your legs down to your ankles.

You gasped awake when your legs were pulled apart, “What the fuck?!” You exclaimed upon seeing none other than the Winter Soldier in between your legs.

He looked up at you with dark eyes, something you’ve never seen on him before. “It’s okay, Agent.” He cooed and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on your right leg, eliciting a soft whimper from you.

“What are you—“

“You were moaning my name is your sleep.” He said, voice an octave lower and rough around the edges.

Your heart was pounding so fast that you could literally hear and feel it. This was so wrong and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to shove Bucky away, especially when he was pressing soft kisses towards the inside of your thighs.

“Mister Barnes, I don’t think—“

“Bucky.”

The way Bucky said his name was unlike any other. It was downright commanding and the authority that oozed from his tone made your stomach flutter. You could feel yourself start to get wet at how Bucky’s metal hand pried your legs even wider.

“I want you to call me Bucky when I make you cum. You hear me, Agent?”

You could nod in response, licking your lips in anticipation.

“Agent?”

You hummed again.

“Agent? Hey...”

You felt a couple of taps on your arm before your eyes snapped open. Sitting up immediately, you found yourself staring at Bucky who was looking at you suspiciously.

“It’s time for your shift, Agent.” He said.

You frantically looked around the motel room and then back up at Bucky who looked just as confused at your demeanor. Blood rushed to your face when you finally realized what had just happened.

You had a fucking wet dream about Bucky Barnes. What the actual fuck?!

“Are you...okay?” Bucky asked again.

“Yes. Yes I am okay, Mister Barnes.” You answered quickly with a frantic nod. “Can you...” you said holding a finger at Bucky and avoiding his gaze as you got up from your bed.

“I’m sorry can you just...let me just...I...bathroom real quick.” You stammered and rushed into the bathroom, locking it immediately before resting your head against the door.

You were sweating all over when you faced the mirror and your face was red as fuck. Not only did your dream fluster you, but it turned you on as well and now you needed to find release.

How the fuck were you going to face Bucky now?!

You splashed your face with water hoping that it’d calm you down but the throb was just not going away. Would it be unprofessional to rub one out during a stakeout? You were embarrassed at your thoughts but the dream really did a number on you and you weren’t sure if the throb was something you can ignore.

Just as when you zipped down your jeans, a series of loud knocks made you jolt.

“Agent? Are you okay in there?” Bucky asked as he continued to knock.

“Uhh, yes. I’ll be out in a sec!” You called out in panic.

“Are you sure? Do you need anything? Like...a pad or something...” Bucky asked, voice soft and uncertain as if he was ashamed of his question.

It was a sweet thing for Bucky to do, considering that you jumped out of bed and rushed to the bedroom. You understood why he thought you got your period. You’d take that over him finding out the real reason why you were so flustered.

Deciding to simply ignore how wet you actually were, you straightened up and opened the door before Bucky could even knock again.

“I’m fine, Mister Barnes.” You told him but refused to meet his gaze.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at you, “Are you sure?” He asked again.

You just nodded and moved past him, unable to ignore how he smelled divinely good when you caught a whiff of his scent as you walked away from him. You sat down on the chair he situated right in front of the window and tried to focus on the task at hand.

“You know, you can drop the act, Agent.” Bucky said.

You heard his footsteps behind you, followed by some shuffling and then the squeaking of the mattress. You still refused to look back at him.

“I don’t think I understand what you mean by that, Mister Barnes.” You said and bit your lip when you heard a couple more shuffling from behind.

“You being too formal around us...around me.” Bucky said.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m just being professional. This is a job after all. I’d like to keep things formal.” You explained.

You were doing pretty well at hiding the fact that you were internally screaming. Never have you experienced such distress during a mission. You’ve been tasked to undercover plenty of times now, most of which required you to work with dangerous men and women but you never faltered.

It’s as if Bucky Barnes had a different effect on you and what you hated the most was that he was just being himself and yet you were losing your mind.

“I’m still not giving up on making you call me Bucky.” He said with a soft chuckle.

His statement turned you red from the memory of your dream, when he asked you to call him that before he dove right into your—

“Hey, Agent...” Bucky snapped you out of your dirty thoughts.

You cleared your throat, finally turning to look at him, “Yes, Mister Barnes?”

He was situated on his bed, fluffing out the pillows. “I don’t have to be formal around you, right? I mean...it’s not like I am expected to do so given that you were sent to babysit me. See what I do on the daily...” Bucky was on to something, you could hear the playfulness in his voice.

When you didn’t respond, he merely shrugged before laying down and pulling the covers. However, you swore you saw his lips tug into a smirk before turning around on the bed, facing the wall. You stared at Bucky’s back for a good few seconds before facing the window again, wondering what his question meant.

You tried not to think about your dream. That was all that was, a stupid fucking wet dream.

It seemed to be uneventful during your shift since there wasn’t anything suspicious happening at the fruit shop. It was closed and no one came by nor passed by since then. You decided to work on your reports to pass the time; not that you had plenty of things to write down. There wasn’t really anything important to report about Bucky.

You’d been stressing over Secretary Ross’ suggestion to trigger Bucky during the stakeout. That man really wanted you to spite Bucky and get a reaction, you were starting to question the reason why they sent you on this mission.

Your thoughts were abruptly interrupted when you heard Bucky grunt and murmur inaudible things in his sleep. You turned around and saw him tossing and turning in bed; his brows were creased and bullets of sweat began to form on his forehead.

“No...please no...” he murmured as his metal arm began to jolt.

You noticed how Bucky seemed to be holding down his own arm, as if preventing it from further moving. He kept on groaning in his sleep and when he began breathing heavily, you hopped out of your seat and went over to his bed.

“Mister Barnes, wake up.” You felt stupid for simply calling him out instead of shaking him awake.

It worried you that he might not respond well to being touched, especially during a nightmare. However, he kept on grunting and panting that it was starting to worry you.

Carefully, you placed a hand on Bucky’s face and tried to gently soothe him.

“Mister Barnes, come on. Wake up.” You coaxed but to no avail.

Bucky’s movements were becoming violent in the sense that he was restraining himself. His other hand grabbed at his shoulder where the vibranium prosthetic was connected at. He started clawing at it as if wanting to remove it and it was at the moment that you started shaking him awake.

“Wake up, Mister Barnes!” You called out but he wasn’t responding.

Afraid that he might end up hurting himself, you sat down on the bed and took his face in between your palms.

“Mister Barnes, wake up...Mister Bar— Bucky, wake up!”

As if on cue, Bucky’s eyes opened as he gasped awake. His chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. You could see the fear in his eyes as he frantically blinked. Your body seemed to have moved on their own because you realized that your thumbs have been caressing his face.

“You’re alright, Bucky. You were just having a nightmare.” You murmured.

Bucky panted and closed his eyes for a brief moment, as if he was trying to regain his senses. And when he opened them, he was directly looking at you with an expression you couldn’t explain. What you do know was that it made you feel things you’ve never felt before.

Definitely not lust, of course. Something else, something that you chose to push back and ignore.

“You okay?” You asked and and let go of Bucky’s face before standing up to give him space as he sat up on the bed.

Bucky swallowed hard and buried his face i to his palms, nodding his head as a response. You went over to the table and grabbed a bottle of water, twisting the cap open before handing it to Bucky who murmured a soft thank you.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked worriedly.

You shook your head, “No, not at all. I was more afraid that you might hurt yourself.” You admitted and walked over to your own bed, sitting down on it.

“How bad was it?” You asked curiously. “Your dream.” You quickly added.

Bucky chuckled before running a hand through his hair, “At this point I couldn’t tell. I’ve gotten used to it. But I didn’t wake up with gashes on my shoulder so it’s not the worse.”

It made you feel bad that Bucky seemed to humor himself and his tendency to inflict pain on his own skin. Despite his nonchalant laughter, you could see the pain and exhaustion in his eyes. How could a man put up to such experience every night?

“Thank you, Agent.” Bucky’s soft voice echoed in the air.

“For what?”

“For waking me up. Not everyone would do that, most would be scared to do so. Who knows what I could’ve done, right?”

You shook your head, “You would’ve done nothing. You are your own person now, you could do no wrong.”

Bucky smiled at you, one that wasn’t forced. It was a smile of genuine amusement. “Careful, Agent. If your boss heard you he might think you’re getting all soft on me.” He teased.

It was a joke of course, you were aware of that. But it also made you realize that there was truth in Bucky’s statement and it scared you. You’ve never felt so personally affected by someone you haven’t known for so long. Perhaps it was because you’ve read too many things about him? Was it out of pity? The guy had been tormented for decades, it really wasn’t that hard to empathize. Whatever the reason was, you knew it was inappropriate for you to feel a certain way.

Bucky must have noticed how you stiffened and quickly spoke up, “I was just teasing, Agent.” He reassured.

“But really, thank you. And it was nice to finally hear you call me Bucky.” He said.

It was a slip of the tongue but not entirely. He wasn’t responding to you the first few times you woke him up. It made sense for you to call him Bucky to wake him up from his nightmare. And although his preferred name felt so much better to say, you needed to hold back.

You got up from your bed and went back to your position right in front of the window, feeling Bucky’s gaze follow you as you moved around.

“I just did what I needed to do. Don’t get used to it, Mister Barnes.”

And just like that, your cold and firm demeanor was back.

Babysitting Bucky Tag List:

@chipilerendi @procrastinationinawriter @supraveng @sammypotato67 @grace-writes-shit @tanyaherondale @dev-loves-siri @ahahafudge @nerdgirl0824 @thomasthetankson @its-yasbxtch @buckyswintersoldiermask @babemendesxz @madddddyy

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm

#bbbwrites #babysitting bucky #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fic #bucky smut #bucky fic #sebastian stan

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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years

Text

The Sheriff and the Murderer

Part Three

Previous Parts | Part One | Part Two

Series Masterlist

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Summary | one of the many things that you had never had the chance of doing was disposing of a body; luckily for you, you know just the right person who can tend to your aid.

Warnings | mentions of death, disposing of a body, mentions and aftermath of murder, mentions of rape, mentions of sex, swearing, mention of suicide

The smell of the carcass had your nose turning up, and the sight wasn’t much better. There was blood staining your lovely dress, that Lee had taken off hours prior. Now it was ruined, with the red digress of your husband; he always had to taint everything, and it still appeared to apply despite him being deceased.

Your eyes wallowed with water, as you thought of the mistakes you had made. There were so many, and marrying Simon had been of the greatest, considering that his treatment of you had been beyond disgraceful. And now, the red of his departed insides was sticking beneath his nails, causing you to gag.

This part, the slashing and ripping apart of his limbs, using your trusty shovel, had been worse than actually committing the initial crime. Killing him had been bliss, but this, reminded you of the possible consequences that you would be forced to partake in.

“Oh no.” You heaved, feeling nauseous from the pungent aroma, grasping at the top of your chest in sickness. You dropped his hand, that felt ironically lighter now that he was dead, letting it fall with the other parts of his distorted, and broken, body.

The worst part of all was, now that you had control of where his palms were permitted to go, and the power had you feeling complete. It had you basking in your own glory, but now, you were lost, grieving the path that you had lost regarding the man that you truly were infatuated with.

Walking backwards, and closing the shed door, you abandoned the sections of Simon, hurrying back into your empty home, and going towards your lined phone. Without caring about the prints of blood that you were padding onto the numerical keys, you dialled a woman that you knew to be in the business of cold body abandon.

For a minute, the line rang, leaving you antsy and picking at your stained nails, chipping away at the surrounding skin. All you could smell was the reminder of blood, that smothered you in a hermit of remembrance.

A remembrance of the times that he would splatter your body with his self, claiming that you were his wife, and even bragging about it to the fellas that he worked closely with. But you were nothing more than a shadow in his eyes, a prize that followed him around the house, flaunting her terrified doe eyes at his silhouette.

His greatest flaw was, aside from his poisonous and lingering touch, that smothered you in the cruelest of ways, was that he thought he was aware of everything that went on around him. It was as though he thought he were the sheriff...

But behind his turned back, your shadow would dance with the image of Lee Bodecker, in a private and disclosed matter. He was the true sheriff of the town, the wine who could order you to do anything, and you would wilfully comply.

Lee had, and never would hurt you. That was the definite difference between the polar pair. He was a lovely gentleman, and Simon, well, he was more like a rat swimming out of the sewer.

All these thoughts and actions of adultery were fair play, you slept with Lee behind the now scathed and chopped up back of your husband, whilst he bedded as many women that were actually willing to slumber with.

You were not dumb to his pattern, each night when he went out, he was pursuing a dame, but that never bothered you, because while he was out, the sheriff would make a stop, and check you over, in more ways than one.

Finally, you running with your thoughts was disrupted, for the ringing ceased. A upbeat and facade of a ‘hello’ rang though your ears, making you breathe a much deserved intake of relief.

“Hey Sandy.” You replied, holding the phone aggressively against your ear. Anything she had to say, you were willing to listen to, after all, she was a master in the ways of murder, as you knew and were trusted peculiarly with that detail of secrecy. “I need your help.”

The sound of Simon’s body parts beating around the trunk as sandy surpassed over a bump in the road reverberated through the entire vehicle. It soothed the initial silence that was exhibited in it, and nervously, you licked your thin lips, hoping that you would reach the ‘middle of nowhere’ soon.

It wasn’t that you and Sandy didn’t get along, in fact, you got along great, which was one of the reasons that she insisted to husband Carl that they leave you alive. But it was the fact that there was an unspoken gesture that waded through the air, like a muting toxin.

“Does Lee know?” She asked, finally breaking the silence like ice. It was a relief to hear voice, deep down, you were insecure that she was silently judging you for the entire ride, or at least, how far you had gone so far.

“No, and I intend for it to have a cap kept on it.” You slunk your shoulders, whilst thinking of Sandy’s sibling. He was far too good for you, he was the sheriff, and now, you deemed yourself as nothing more than a murderer.

The fact that you were a survivor of all sorts of horrid extremes wouldn’t matter to the boys in blue, they would not see you past your crime, and you feared that sheriff Bodecker would not either.

“Son of a bitch had it coming to him anyways.” Stated Sandy, being heartless to her admission. “The sight of you and that prick drove my brother insane. We all knew what he was doing to you, yet, they wouldn’t charge him, all because you were simply married to him.”

“What would you have done if Carl had dared lay his hands on you in an in-consensual manner?” You asked, plucking away at the trim of your clean skirt. Before you had left to go on this joyous trip with Sandy, you had changed, all in favour of the neighbours, and anyone else you happened to pass.

“I’d have done the same darling.” She comforted you, looking away from the road for a moment, to send you a quick and sincere smile. Things within the car were falling into their previous rhythm, it being apparent that the two of you were good and well adversed friends. “I wanted to kill Simon too, you know? But with the threats I have made in the past, it would have been far too suspicious.”

“Yeah.” You agreed, suddenly feeling guilty that if it were found to be known that Simon was butchered, Sandy would be interrogated, most likely from her own brother. “How is Carl?” You changed the subject, shifting under the grip of the seat belt.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you how my lovesick brother is?” She replied, laughing lightly at your warm face. “He’s still head over heels for you girl, and yet, the other man won your heart.”

“I wouldn’t say won it, I’d say he manipulated it.” You retorted, crossing your arms over your chest to pave down the swell of tension inside. “I’d always told myself, and you, that I’d choose Lee Lee, but high school was a long time ago, and I can’t go back to sneaking kisses with him under the bleachers when your back was turned.”

“Trust me, I knew all along.” She smiled, thinking back to the simpler times. “And though, I know when he was training to be a deputy, he’d told you he had no time for a relationship, and he didn’t exactly expect you to wait for him. But you may as well have, considering the two of you continued to fornicate like wild rabbits.”

“Please stop.” You groaned at her words, covering your face with your clear and evidence free hands. “And we did not fornicate like-“

“My bedroom was right beside yours when we got that apartment, and before then, well it was against Lee’s. Trust me, when I say that I know off by heart how you sound in bed sweetie. And god, did I grimace as I heard you mewling my brother’s name.”

Breathily you laughed, thinking back to the times that were spoke of. “Sandy.” You spoke her name, earning a radical hum in reply. “I love Lee.”

“Trust me darling, I am well aware of that. The two of you are like Romeo and Juliet, except you’ve killed someone else rather than taken your own life. And then, there’s never been anything holding the two of you apart-“

“Okay, you’re trying to make a point here Sand. Nothing like Romeo and Juliet, I got it.” You nodded your head, before leaning it back into the plumpness of the head rest. “And then there’s you and Carl, Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Sweetie, you’re a killer too now, so I wouldn’t make comparisons. You’re just lucky that the first suspect for Simon’s disappearance will be a man, and then we’ll see where I am on that list. And you know me, I will always protect you, it’s what we do.”

“It is what we do.” You repeated, watching the road ahead, and tapping your feet in tune with the floundering of Simon’s own rolling feet.

Tags;

@charmed-asylum @brynthebulldozer @tcc-gizmachine @stucky-my-ship @acciosiriusblack

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tomurasprincess · 4 years

Note

36. For the crusty fucking bitch shigaraki

Pairing: Shigaraki x Reader Quote: I’ve dedicated myself to you! It’s only fair that you do the same. Warnings: Noncon, rough sex, biting, possessiveness, manipulation, murder, yandere

Yandere Prompts

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

You internally wince at the harsh voice of your boyfriend, and also the boss and leader of the League of Villains. You had been hoping to quietly leave the hideout without him knowing.

“I’m just going to visit my sister,” you say in a careful tone. “I haven’t seen her for a while and I miss her.” You pause before deciding to add “I promise I’ll be careful.”

“You think it matters if you’re careful? You could still get caught.” Shigaraki was using his calm, no nonsense leadership voice on you instead of talking to you like a normal boyfriend, and it was pissing you off. “You need to wait for a better time.

“When is the better time going to be, exactly?”

Shigaraki’s eyes narrow at your snarky tone as he stalks towards you. “When I give you permission.”

“You have said no every time I ask, for months.”

“And I’m also saying no this time.”

“That isn’t fair,” you let out a frustrated whine from the back of your throat as you consider your options. You realize your anger is clouding your mind and making you sound childish, but you’re past the point of caring.

You could accept defeat and try again later, or you could wait until he’s gone and then sneak out. But you’re tired of his refusal to let you leave, tired of him not wanting to let you see your family. You decide that it’s finally time to put your foot down. Your first mistake.

“Yeah, well I’m saying yes. You can’t control me,” you say in as defiant a tone as you can muster, standing up straight and looking into the furious, red eyes of your boyfriend. Your second mistake.

Your third and final mistake comes when you turn your back on the man as you head towards the door. You barely get the door open before it’s slammed shut and you’re dragged back into the room. You’re barely even able to struggle as you’re forced down, face first, on the bar, with both arms twisted behind your back.

“Oh yes, I can control you.” Shigaraki leans fully onto your back as he snarls into your ear. “You’re mine.”

You know what you should do, if you were smart. You should beg for forgiveness, apologize to the villain that is your boyfriend, and accept whatever punishment he comes up with. But right now, you’re too frustrated to be smart. So you say the first thing that comes to mind. “I am not yours! You don’t own me.”

“Is that so,” he murmurs in your ear, tone low and dangerous. Warning bells are ringing in your head, but you are in too deep now to dig your way out. So you stubbornly stay quiet so you at least don’t make it worse.

“Then I guess I need to prove it, don’t I? That you’re mine, and I can do whatever the fuck I want to do with you.” With that statement, you feel his hand grip your pants as the fabric begins to decay and flake down into the floor as ash. “My little brat needs to be put into her place.”

You hear a zipper, sounding impossibly loud in this quiet, empty room, and your eyes widen at the implication of what he’s about to do. “I - Tomura, I am sorry, please.” You begin to plead, hoping that he’s just threatening you into submission.

“It’s too late to be sorry now, brat.” You feel something hard and heavy press against the entrance to your pussy, his fingers spreading your folds open. “I am going to show you exactly who owns you.” With that statement, he forces himself into your pussy, inch by agonizing inch.

“Oww, Tomura stop, it hurts,” you grunt out. You are not nearly wet enough to take all of him comfortably, but the villain doesn’t seem to care. When he meets resistance, he simply takes smaller thrusts as he works himself into you, until finally he’s pressing against your cervix.

Tears are running down your face at the painful stretch of him being balls deep inside of you with no preparation, and you try to shift around just a bit to relieve the ache. “I wouldn’t have to do this if you weren’t being such a fucking brat,” he grunts as he begins to thrust inside you. “Fuck, your cunt is so tight like this.”

He grabs a handful of your hair, still careful to keep one finger away despite his anger, and pulls hard, forcing your back to arch so that he can get even deeper inside of your cunt. He runs his other hand up and down your back, sometimes gently, and sometimes digging his blunt nails into your flesh. He pulls almost all the way out of you with every thrust before brutally slamming in, hips smacking against your ass.

You let out an involuntary moan as he hits that sweet spot inside of you, making you see stars as your cunt leaks your juices onto his thrusting cock. “You’re getting wet. You’re not supposed to be getting off to your punishment, you little slut,” he growls as his hand smacks down against your ass.

You let out a small gasp at the stinging pain, cunt clenching down around the cock that’s fucking you into the bar. “Fucking slut, you’re gonna get off, aren’t you? I can feel that dirty cunt of your pulsing around my cock.”

“Please,” you whimper, not sure whether you’re begging him to stop or begging him to let you cum. You can no longer stop your gasps and moans, leaning your forehead into the bar as drool runs down your mouth. Your pussy is soaked now, and you can hear the wet noises of skin slapping against skin as his thrusts become staggered.

“Please what, slut?”

“Please let me cum.” Your face turns hot, shame flooding your system at the fact that you’re getting off to his treatment of you. But the pleasure is building up inside of you, muscles in your lower abdomen tensing up as you get closer to being pushed over that edge.

“I guess I can be nice, this once,” he chuckles as he reaches around to rub small circles on your clit with two fingers. It’s enough to finally send you over the edge, gasping out your orgasm as your pussy flutters around his cock. He follows quickly afterwards, grabbing your hips and thrusting all the way inside, locking his hips as he fills you with hot ropes of cum.

He stays there until he’s finished cumming, pulling out of you with a grunt. You feel his cum sliding down your legs and dripping down onto the floor, and you wince at the sensation. You look up enough to glance into his eyes, as you wait to see what he intends to do now.

He meets your eyes, a contemplative look on his face, until his eyes light up and an evil grin appears across his face. “You know, I was thinking of a way for you to make this up to me.”

You don’t say anything, too afraid of getting in even more trouble and lose whatever opportunity you have to get out of this. You simply wait for him to finish his thought.

“I’ve dedicated myself to you! It’s only fair that you do the same.”

Your heart drops down into your stomach at what he could mean by that statement, afraid to ask but knowing that you have to. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I only have you and the League, but you have a life outside of both. I don’t really think that’s fair, do you?” He gives you a mocking laugh as he sees your eyes widen with fear.

“You wouldn’t have any reason to leave me or the base if you didn’t have a sister,” he muses quietly.

“Please, you don’t mean - I’m sorry, I’ll do anything, please just don’t.“

But he’s already pulling out his phone to send out a text. You glance at the screen long enough to see one thing that makes your entire body go cold. He’s texting Dabi.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he coos, taking you into his arms when you begin to sob. “You don’t need anyone else but me.”

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Tags: @thewheezingwyvern, @animewh0re, @ttamaki, @ichor-and-symbiosis, @lildreamer93, @marlowewrites, @redbeanteax, @kittygonyan, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love, @daedaep69, @heyybrittannia, @groovydreamertrash, @hisoknen, @chou-maitresse, @shoutogepi, @togasknifes, @kingtamakimurder, @league-of-thots, @shigaraki-is-my-master

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki #shigaraki smut #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere prompts #bnha x reader #bnha smut #mha x reader #mha smut #tw: noncon #tw: death #tw: manipulation #tw: yandere #anon asks

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ecclais-fouoras · 3 years

Text

Falling for someone like you

Chapter 9 ? What a day

Previous chapter here

Tags : fluff and slight smut warning ⚠️

The next day went swiftly, you both had a great time at the mine and then the museum, afterwards you both went out for dinner, in the small restaurant she had spotted before. Wilhemina offered to pay since you had already done so much for her those few days. "I insist baby..you've been amazing and I was the one who suggested it... Let me get this one"

"Okay fine...don't make a habit out of it you know I love to spoil you, my darling" you had responded placing your hand on her cheek. That night you had gone to bed early, exhausted from the day spent. Your lover laid by your side, your arms around her protectively and her leg draped over your body, and fingers upon your collarbones. "Y/n ?"

"Mm ?" "What are we gonna do tomorrow ? I tried to find something to vis..."

"Amusement Park"

"Huh ?"

"Tomorrow that's what we're doing"

"Oh...you do kn..."

"I checked if it was something you could do, and there are many attraction available"; "Good..." She said before yawning. "Oh baby sleep you're tried"

"I don't want this day to end"

"It doesn't have to...in your mind never" You turned slightly, putting your hand around her hip and under her head, and hers went to your neck. Your legs found the spot between hers and the one still on top of your body. On Sunday you woke up a little bit early to pack stuff in the car before traveling to the park, your girlfriend watching the landscape pass by the cars window. Your eyes fixated on the rood and right hand in hers on her thigh. You arrived and went inside. The place was kinda crowded but since Wilhemina couldn't stand for too long waiting wasn't a problem, you could easily enter attraction in another line. "I hate their faces when they see me cut the line" she said growling from anger and you caressed her hair while explaining "Hey baby... You're not cutting line, your simply taking another one. If they don't like it they can try and live all their life in a body that aches like yours. They'll see if taking that line is worth the trouble."

"I guess you're right"

"I am...if they aren't happy about it they can suck my dick"

"OH so they can but you barely let me do it ?" You playfully feigned being offended and slightly pinched her arm. "That's not even true.."

"It is. Whenever I wanna do it you don't pack"

"Well I'm not going to pack every single day love"

"Well at least some of them baby"

You giggled and subconsciously started walking towards a small Russian mountain.

"Are you up for that mina ?"

"Of course. I'm up for anything", "You Sure ? It seems pretty scary". "It's not. Besides if it wear it would say not for people with back problems"

"Okay okay... Well when you throw up just make sure it's not while the wind is in our way."

"Haha very funny"

:read more:

She said as you took her hand and leaded her to the side line, after a few minutes you got in the seats. Wilhemina held your hand a little tighter than usual, so you nuzzled behind her ear and told her she was more than safe with you. She relaxed a bit and then screams and squeals of joy were the only thing that could be heard. You both moved throughout the park, doing things left and right, pointing at beautiful landscape and designs. You stopped at a flying swing and encouraged wilhemina to come with you and do it together. But she didn't seam to keened on it. Even as you took her hand and tugged her towards it she held her ground. The mushroom tower started to rise and everyone started cheering as the chair flew around in circles and people moved in their chairs."Look it's fun honey" "It's for kids."..."No. It's not. Watch there are plenty of adults her and besides it didn't bother you in the flying elephants."

"That was different"

"Absolutely not, look if it's because you don't stand the movements it's okay, but at least tell me"

"I do stand it" you went closer to her, your hands on her hips as you kissed her cheeks "Babe tell me what the real problem is, no bullshit please"

"I don't have. Anywhere to put my cane in there."

"Well we can leave it in the entrance"

"I'd rather not"

"Why, you don't need it during the ride, and I'll get it for you at the end baby"

"Who knows what will happen during the ride. I don't want to find it broken, not only because you gifted it to me, but because it is my life, I refuse to let it be broken or lost by those incompetent people"

"Hey..hey no need to insult anyone here, baby I know that, but just like when you go to bed you leave it to the side, you can let them take care of it"

"I..."

"Baby I promise nothing bad will happen"

"How can you do that"

"I'll make sure it doesn't, do you trust me ?"

"Of course I trust you. I just don't trust anybody else"

"But you learned how to trust me, so maybe you can try and give a little trust to that"

"Fine. One session"

"Yay ! I promise you'll love it" You said as you both went to it, and as soon as wilhemina was sited you went up to the people managing the attraction and asked them to keep her cane during the ride.

"Oh and by the way. If anything happens to it. Even the slightest impact, i will make sure you all lose your job, and ruin your reputation so much no one will go to a park that is unacceptable with disabled people."

"..we..yes. well, we will take good care of it"

"You better do." You went back and sat just next to Wilhemina on the double sided chair. "Did you te..."

"It's okay baby. They'll handle it carefully"

"Oh okay..." The swing raised above the floor, and progressively your feets hanged down as they stopped touching ground and The ride began. the wind hit your face faster and faster and you both smiled and yelled as it spined. Wilhemina had to keep her hand on her skirt so it didn't lift up and give everyone else a great view and you giggled. You whispered in her ear as the world around you kept turning and turning. "Don't traumatize these children and get arrested for public nudity I'd hate to have to get you out of jail and runaway together..."

"Is it weird of it actually sounds good"

"Depends on which part"

"The last bit you fool"

"Well my anxiety could never...but keep dreaming darling" You both laughed and held hands as the chairs were turning even faster. At one point the air was to rapid through her hair and it detached her hairdo, you Heard her groan as her hair moved everywhere including her face while she looked at you. "Oh come on why"

"It's fine mina just let it go"

"It's a good thing this was not a wig"

You laughed again as You pushed the hair out of her face and saw her eyes shining with joy, you don't think you ever saw her so happy your whole life, and you thought maybe she never has been.

"I love you y/n"

She said as her hair flew behind her like a beautiful main. You couldn't help but put your hands around her face and bring her for a kiss. Your lips lingered on hers for a while, hands stoking her cheek and breathing linked and she pulled away questioning. "Why the kiss?"

"I just couldn't not kiss you right then"

"But in front of all these people ? Children"

"They won't die because I kissed the woman I love. They've seen people kiss before, they'll be fine"

"But the people here ?"

"I don't give a single fuck about them, I love you and they better get over it."

"I love you too" You enjoyed the rest of the ride, and after you got down you went to get wilhemina's cane for her, and as it took a little longer before she got out of it like the rest you heard someone tell her to get off the swing because people were waiting. You immediately turned around and went up to him, her stepped back a little "What did you just say ?"

"I..i said that this bitch needs to get off of the swing or learn to leave others their turn"

"You better shut the fuck up now, or else you really aren't going to enjoy the ride with a broken nose and bleeding face."

"Is that a threat ?"

"No it's a promise."

"It's unacceptable she ne.."

"And you need to stick your patience up your ass and fuck off. She'd be out of there in a second if you were able to keep your fucking mouth shut, now I bet you don't have any one in your life who has a disability except you because you are clearly having a stroke so let me tell you this. You say anything offensive to my wife. And I'll have your fucking ass in the floor."

"How dare you ? Telling all this in front of my kids"

"Maybe it'll teach them not to be complete assholes to people. Now your kids didn't say anything you did. So maybe you could thing about that"

"M'am you have to hurry..and keep your distance with the rest of the clients" The bold men tried to respond.

"But...i..i" ."

"we'll be out in a sec.. You. Save it. I honestly don't give a shit about your opinion, I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it for her. Because if she weren't there I would have already been in jail for beating your ass. I'll say it once. Stay. Away. From. her. And keep your thoughts to your two inches long brain."

You went back to give her her cane and you both left the swings, glaring one last time at the men, who looked like he was about to piss his paints.

"Don't bother him, he's an ass"

"You don't always have to get in trouble for me"

"You're kidding right ? He was practically begging me to tell him off. Besides no one talks to you like this and gets away with it on my watch"

"He looked like a kid cought cheating have to admit watching you It was a little hot." She whispered in your ear

"Happy to oblige" you said as you pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and grazed her cheek. After that she bent forward a little and lifted her arms to try and do her hair back which you knew could hurt her.

"Hey hey no.. leave it" you said as you put your hands on hers.

"Let's sit over here baby"

You said while taking her to a small stair bench.

"Sir over here I'll sit on the one higher.

"Oh okay"

You settled her between your knees and asked for her hair tie.

"Do you really want to put it up again ? You know I love your hair down like this, you look so beautiful"

"I know you do, but it's our thing you know, I don't want it to become banal, I like that you're the only one who sees me like this, it makes it special"

"We have other things that are private darling, just because you go out with your hair down it doesn't mean it's not special anymore. I still get to see you in your nightwear or with a messy tee-shirt and a lazy bun."

"I know but still, I prefer keeping it up please"

"Okay baby no problem, can I put it up how I want ?"

"..fine yes, but no funny business"

"Of course" you said as you kissed her neck. You started sectioning her hair, brushing it through your fingers, huming softly. And you started breading, strands of hair between your hands, one over the other. Starting from up and then going down. Wilhemina relaxing visibly in your embrace, letting her head slightly back.

"Oooooooh, I am not the only traveler, who has not repaid His debt, I've been searching for a trail to follow again take me back to the night we met, and then I can tell myself what the hell am I supposed to do.

I had all and then most of you some and now none of you. Ooh

Take me back to the night we met.

"Here done"

"Can I sea ?"

"Let me just ..there "

"Oh..y/n"

"You don't like it ?"

"No..no i do like it.. it's different than what I'm used to"

"I figured you don't usually bread it because it's probably to painful, so I wanted to do something nice". "I love it y/n"

"You look beautiful"

She blushed softly before you kissed her lips.

Afterwards you were both a little hungry, so you took wilhemina to a candy shop, they sold many things like sugar canes and candy floss

You waited before asking Wilhemina what she wanted, and ordered a pomme d'amour for starters, and decided you would take candy floss to walk.

"It's going to be messy y/n we have to cut in"

"No..baby the whole thing is to bite it at the same time"

"I swear if you get my shirt stained"

"It won't willy"

"Oh you know I hate that nickname"

"That's why I use it willy"

She groaned and you both stood while you held the food.

"On three"

"Wait does that mean we bite on three or after three"

"Oh just bite it on three love"

"One."

"Two" you both said

"Three"

You both took a bite out of the apple, juices covering your taste buds and the sweet sugar envelope cracking.

You giggled with your mouths full and finished the apple as much as you could, heads turning around to find a good angle and sharing the same space.

You noticed Wilhemina had sugar on her top lip corner.

"Baby you have a little something here"

"Oh..thank you"

She tried getting it off but it wasn't efficient. So you stepped closer.

"Here..let me do it" you said before setting down the rest of the dish and pressing her against you while your hands found her jaw and you kissed her soundly, she moaned a little when you bit her top lip. And grazed it with your tongue. It asked for entrance and Wilhemina granted it to you. You made out together for a little bit before parting a little and just holding each other for a while, pairs of hands around shoulders and hips.

After that you bought the candy floss and started walking around the park once again.

You both picked in each others sticks, exchanging looks, smiles and kisses.

Feeding each other bits every now and then.

After a dozen minutes you had both finished

And you kissed her again, sharing the taste of sugar between each other. Her cane pressed against her and her cheek in your hand.

"Thank you y/n"

"For what ?". "For giving my life purpose"

"Aw baby why do you have to be so damn cute ALL the time"

"I'm serious"

"Me too...and you don't need to thank me, you mean everything to me. Come here."

You said before taking her inside your arms, inhaling her sent and circling your arms around her frame. You pressed kisses in her hair and she place them in your neck.

"I love you so much Wilhemina"

She started to tear up a little bit before sniffling and hiding more inside your body.

"I mean it...baby you don't ever have to cry about that again..for I will hold you till the end of time itself. And in every one of your future life's I'll have you in my heart."

Time passed as you held each others before slowly getting going again.

You arrived at a shooting game, pushed animals were hanging from the walls and ceiling.

"Oh here let me win you something !"

"Oh come on darling these games are money black holes"

"Not if your good at it" she starting turning around and walking away

"Besides it's gun shooting you're not going to be any good at that love you don't own any. Also I think it's quite funny that yo..."

"Here m'am, ya just need to get those target over there to ya win"

"Huhh come on y/n, do you even know what I said"

"Ssh baby I gotta focus"

"Sshh? So you shush me now ?"

You ignored her rambling as your hands settled their positions and you started shooting the first few bullets hitting right on the targets, five bullets later you heard a ringing sound and the guy stunned by your performance started

"Well m'am I'll be honest I wasn't expecting ya to win on the first try. But here ya go, you can pick one of them little stuffed animals"

"Mm I'll have this one for my lady over there "

"Excellent choice...here there ya go ... have a nice day birdies"

You giggled and thanked him as you went up to Wilhemina and gave her the white furry bunny you had won.

"So since you were so supportive I'll just keep it to myself"

"...I'm sorry baby...i just didn't want you to waste your money" "I know"

You said as you handed her the toy, "it's for you baby", "Oh.. really ? Wow it's the first time my lover...well anyone wins me something at a game"

"Looks like I'm your first on lots of things babe"

"Heyy" she responded while jabbing your shoulder "Aww why do you always do that, I think I need to go check it at the hospital."

"Oh don't be A baby y/n"

"Well you're the one standing with a bunny in your arms so who's really the baby huh?" She frowned before she joined you in laughter. You walked hand in hand with her gift under her hand. The sun was starting to set slowly as you both chatted and enjoyed the rest of the day.

"Let's get married"

"...What ?"

"Here let's get married now"

"..y/n ? I don't understand...I'm not sure it's a good idea"

"Chill baby I meant there" you said as you pointed the small church in the middle of the other attractions.

"It says it celebrates unions and marriages, but nothing actually official"

"Oh .."

"So let's get married here darling. Let's have our unofficial official ceremony now"

You said as you led her to the counter

"Wait..."

"It's okay you don't want to"

"No..no I definitely want to, I'm just straddled, and what If they don't celebrate our 'marriage', baby there are no legal obligations here"

"Well I don't care if they don't celebrate 'Our' marriage. I'll find another fake church that does, but we have to try frist right ?"

She nodded and took your hand.

"Hello ladies how May I help you"

You both looked at each other and she smiled.

"We would like to get married." "Alright, are you married irl ?" "Nope"

"I have to inform you this is all outside of any actual legal union, this mariage is only valid here, and in your hearts."

"We know"

"Perfect then. Follow me" You arrived in a room filled with dressed and suits, the man asked if you wanted to pay before or after, you decided to do it now, Wilhemina didn't even notice you did. "I'll let you approximately 30 minutes to choose your formal wear and get dressed, an hour to prepare your vows and will Then accompany the... well brides walk down the aisle"

"If it's easier i don't mind being already there."

"Oh yes good. Anyway, I'll let you change, there are two different Rooms with staff so you don't see each other until marriage"

"Thank you". You both said before picking your outfits and trying on dresses and suits. After some time the man came back and took Wilhemina before letting you know where was the aisle. You waited there with the pastor, who didn't look used to celebrating marriages between women, but who wasn't mad about it. The music started and there was no one else in the church except for the few staff and you both. The doors opened and you saw your girlfriend walk arm in arm with the guy who welcomed you in. She looked ethereal, beautiful you had never seen such beauty before, her hair was in a beautiful hairdo, half down half up, a bunch of colored flowers in her hair and even a purple orange make-up.

She walked gracefully, her dress following her and a veil attached to her flower crown.

"Hey"

"Hey...wow, you...look... amazing...I'm so lucky" she blushed before being handled her cane and replied "Well...I must say You're not so Bad yourself y/n"

"Erm erm.. We are reunited today. To celebrate the union of two beautiful souls, linked together by life. Two hearts beating at the same pace, two bodies sharing one path. We are here, in the evening of this bright full day, to make the two women standing here, married, for better and for worst until death do them apart...If i may have the rings. " He took them and turned to Wilhemina "You will now exchange your vows"

"Oh..lord..sorry. this is the part I'm not going to be good at. But you already know that.

You know every part of me. Every single piece I've yet to discover. You hold them, in your arms. Steady, fierce, protective, bringing me the safe home i could have never hope to have. And yet here you stand. By my side every day. You hold my heart, and you make my sun hang, so bright yet so easy, in my sky. I didn't believe I could ever be liked. And you showed me unconditional love.

I didn't believe I was pretty, you made me feel like the most beautiful goddess in the world. I didn't believe I could feel it, but darling, you are the person I love like I would have never believed such feeling existed.. I am not good at expressing feelings, I find them to abstract, to volatile to be caught by my words. So I chose the ones of someone else that resonated with me so hard I believe them to be our own.

'You belong with me, my love. And I belong with you. We should live life side by side, In everything we do. You belong with me today, For now and ever more. And I belong with you, my dear, The one that I adore. We were meant to be, I know; It’s written in the stars. I love the way we are as one, And everything you are. Just think of all the moments Aligning for us to meet, So once we found each other, We were bound to feel complete. But this part of our story, We’ll sit and write together. Hanging memories on the wall,of the home we’ll share forever. So, both of us are certain. As we each say ‘I do’, That you belong with me, my love, And I belong with you." As she was done and the tears spilled from your eyes the pastor gave her a ring and spoke again.". "Now you will repeat after me as you place the ring on her, -I take you, y/f/n" "I take you y/f/n" ; "—to be my wedded Wife" "To be my wedded Wife"

"— to have and to hold from this day forward"; "To have and to hold from this day forward"

"—for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer''; "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" ; "—in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,"; "in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,". "—till death do us part"

"Till death do us part"

She said as she finally settled the ring she picked out on you.

"You will now exchange your vows to your bride."

".. Wilhemina, every time I dreamed about love, it was always me finding it, searching, like a lost salior for my beloved boat.But little did I know, love would find me, it would find a way through my heart, in between the cracks of it, sunshine would bring healing. I remember when I first fell in love. The intensity, the warmth, I remember her smile, her hair. I remember how hard I loved. How wrong I may have, probably because of the youth. I remember how much it had hurt. When she was taken away from me. When I could no longer hold her body, when everything from her had immediately and indefinitely turned to dust. I remember how I cursed at the wind, yelled, screamed, cried, abused whatever God had been responsible for it, responsible for this pain love had brought. I swore, I swore to never love ever again. And I tried, I begged for love to leave me alone. I dreamed it would never hurt again. And I remember when I found you, and you found me. How utterly lost we had been. How stupid it was for me to think I would not fall for you.

For your smile.

For your laugh.

For your eyes.

For your tears of joy and sorrow. For every single beat of your heart. How stupid I had been, To think I would never fall again. But the truth is, I spent all these years climbing, to afraid, to hurt, to coward, to actually jump. But the more high you gain The longer and harder the fall. And man, did I fall. And man, how did it feel so terribly perfect to do so. And man, little did I know, you could make me fly. I wasn't scared anymore. It didn't hurt. It was the answer I had been searching for all of my life. The one I didn't know was within me all along, the one you brought to life. It was love, love was the answer. No Our, our love was the answer. I'm so completely and unapologetically in love with you. You, you, you it's always been you. And the stars are watching, they are jealous, and they talk because never in the eternal burn they experience, never did they see souls shine so bright. Our connection goes beyond speaking, you choose words to express what you want to say. I want words to choose how to express what I say. In truth, we married each other that first night, in bed, we had been married by our bodies, but now we stand in history—what our bodies had said, mouth to mouth, we now said publicly, gathered together.

'I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:i love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself, and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose from the earth lives dimly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams... We, unaccustomed to courage exiles from delight, live coiled in shells of loneliness, until love leaves its high holy temple and comes into our sight to liberate us into life. Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies, old memories of pleasure, ancient histories of pain. Yet if we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls. We are weaned from our timidity, In the flush of love’s light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love, which sets us free.'.. Today i stand here, as i will stand for as long as my fragile body allows me to, perhaps then I will sit, or lay, by your side my dear, always. And love within me blooms, and makes flowers from every cell in me grow. I will choose you over and over again love, I will hold you close, I will give you peace, I will bring you home. In me. In my heart."

"Now, for the ring.."

He gave you the one you'd picked for her, a thick golden string with amethyst, and Carnelian.

"-I take you, Wilhemina venable"

"I take you, Wilhemina venable"

"-to be my wedded Wife"

"To be my wedded Wife"

"- to have and to hold from this day forward"

"To have and to hold from this day forward"

"- for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer

"for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer"

"-in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,"

"in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,

"-till death do us part"

You finally slid the ring on her finger before saying.

"Till death do us part

"Perfect, you may now kiss the bide."

You turned to Wilhemina, picked the veil covering her face, lifted it and placed it backwards before taking she took her face in her hands and yours grabbed her hips, bending her slightly backwards before stealing her lips in the most beautiful and delicious kiss you both had the chance to share, oxygen wasn't even needed as your whole body experienced full Bliss, during the embrace you heard, no felt her mumble 'i love you' to which she know you replied by kissing her harder tumbling a little before parting away, faces close, smiles on both of your lips. You walked down the aisle tightly pressed together her hair darked than usual with the dim candle light. And as you went through the door, bells rang and you felt rice being thrown at you from somewhere you couldn't spot. Eventually you got outside, turned to your wife and spun her around before kissing for what would most definitely not be the last time of the day, body pressed together like it will be during your Wedding night.

When you came back home both of your touch yas tender yet urgent, you took no time to

Set your things, just immediately riding her of her day clothes and coat, slamming the door with your feet and taking her upstairs. Before the bedroom door you lifted her up over the threshold, "tradition is sacred my darling"

"Shut up and just make love to me"

Shortly you were both in your underwear, your body on top of hers, cradling her with kisses and caresses, your lips all over her body.

You began to take her nipple in your mouth and play with the other one, her back arched and she moaned loudly, you were starting to kiss your way down her body but she stopped you.

"I..I..want us to cum...together"

"I can't refuse my baby now"

You dragged down her body before teasing her inner thigh and kissing her clit, making sure she was wet enough, you went up her body again, your hand between her legs stating to work her up. Your own hand finding yourself, toying with your panties before sitting back and touching yourself for her to see. Once you were both ready you aligned both of your centers, and lowered yourself on her. Hearing a moan from both of your throats as the contact was a delightful bliss. Your moans filled the room as you rubbed your clitorises faster, wet sounds coming from the friction. "Uh..uH baby I'm getting close"

"..wait a bit for me.. can you do that ?"

"Uhh..yeah..yeaH" You doubled your efforts and before you knew it she was cumming all over you which triggered your own orgasm. You fell on her body, legs intertwined as your bodies sank into each others. Still catching her breath Wilhemina couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"...We got married...in an amusement park";

"We did baby...".

".....I love you";

"I love you too baby"

A/n: the italic pieces are bits of different poems, I couldn't settle for one, if you think cutting a poem is sacrilegious I'm sorry but I believe that Words and art is ment to be movements, live and change though our experiences of then, pieces of structure that you can use to build. your own.

#wilhemina venable #sarah paulson fanfiction #wilhemina venable x reader #sarah paulson characters #wilhelmina venable #soft!mina #ms venable

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years

Text

Wedding Bells (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader

Summary: The happiest day of your life is the worst day on Luke’s life. Could there still be a happy ending if he’s not too late?

Warnings: angsty. Language and mentions of alcohol. Slander on the name Phillip (sorry to all the Phills but it’s true, look it up) Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4.9 k

Author’s note: let me guide you through my thought process: I was writing You Said Forever and accidentally got caught up on the Olivia x Joshua x sabrina drama, that lead me to the Miley x Nick x Selena drama, which lead me to the song Wedding Bells by Nick Jonas. So this is loosely based on that. Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Feedback and Likes are very important and welcomed, you don’t know how much it helps and I love to hear from you guys ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

His head was pounding, loudly.

Every beat sounded like an echo that ran through his whole body. Speaking of his body, goddamn how it hurt, how everything hurts.

His eyelids were closed, eyelashes stuck and tangled with each other, heavy as the sun shined through the window, begging him to get up. His mouth was also dry, he couldn’t figure out if it was because he slept with his mouth open or because he doesn’t remember the last time he drank a drop of water.

He groaned as the pounding in his head continued. A never-ending pain that matched the loud banging on the door.

“Luke! C’mon, we’re going to be late!”

Ashton's voice sounded far away as his mind was not fully awake yet. He didn’t want to be awake yet, maybe not ever again after this day.

If his eyes were awake he would roll them. Couldn’t Ashton understand that he didn’t want to go? He made it fairly obvious for the past few months! He was not going.

Luke hid his head farther in his pillow, trying to avoid any kind of contact with the outside world. But that was almost impossible as soon as he heard Ashton pick on his lock.

That bastard.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to mess with a bloke from the outsides of town?” He said with a teasing tone. Luke knew he was bluffing, his doorknob was messed up since the moment they bought the house, so it was easy to get in if you knew the right tricks with a safety pin - oh the irony of it all.

Luke mumbled something close to a word his mum wouldn’t be proud to hear. But Ashton simply ignored it as he walked towards the windows to open the curtains, letting the sun illuminate the room at its full capacity.

Ashton sighed at the sight of the room. Clothes were thrown out everywhere, the same goes with the hundred liquor and beer bottles and cans that were scattered around the floor. He grabbed the half-empty bottle of vodka that rested on the nightstand and clicked his tongue.

“You bought this yesterday,” He said, totally unimpressed. Luke didn’t answer “C’mon, buddy, up to the shower you go”

Ashton patted Luke’s back, encouraging him to get a move on, but the blonde just brought his sheets over his head and stayed put.

“Luke…”

“Mmnphf” He mumbled.

“What?” Ashton walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed the tall Australian by his legs, pulling him out of his comforter in one swift move that made Luke fall out of the bed with a thud.

“Motherfuck-“ He complained, rubbing on his bumped head, which was still pounding by the way.

“You were saying?” Ashton said with a smirk as he crouched down to be face to face with Luke, the teasing smile quickly fading away because he didn’t like what he saw at all.

The baby blue eyes that once shined with gleam were dull, red, and empty, and probably angry about his interruption. His curly blond was sticking to his forehead and his body language seemed to have given up on keeping him with a straight figure, making him physically close himself up to others.

“I said I’m not going!” His voice was hoarse due to the heavy drinking he’s been doing these past few days. He tried to sound harsh, but Ashton could easily see through his bluff. He was hurting, every part of him.

“Of course you are,” Ashton scoffed.

Luke glared at him “I’m. Not. Going” He said through gritted teeth. The drummer rolled his eyes. He’s had this conversation before and it was always the same speech.

“You are because she wants you there, so you’ll be there” Ashton stated as if that was the only reasonable answer.

Luke closed his eyes, cause he was sure that if he opened them he would punch Ashton in the mouth. Why couldn’t he understand? “I can’t go, Ash”

His voice broke at the end of the pleading, breaking Ashton’s heart in the process. He hated to see him like that; to see him throw away his life so carelessly without asking for or accepting anyone’s help. It’s not like he ignored what was happening, but he was sure this would do good for him; close cycles, help him move on, and that shit. How else could you mend a broken heart?

“And besides,” Luke continued “She doesn’t want me there” The words felt like poison in his mouth, bitter and dry “She invited you guys, you are her friends and I’m just her stupid ex”

That was a lie and he knew that. When the invitations came he made sure to throw his away before he even got to open it. Making the others believe that he wasn’t invited at all. He didn’t even tell them that you were the one who dropped them, him being unlucky enough to answer the door.

“It’s in June,” You said, eyes avoiding him “Hope you can make it”

Whatever words Luke had stuck in his throat stayed there as he swallowed the pain of seeing you standing there, inviting him to see you love someone else. All he could say was “You’ll look beautiful in white”

You practically ran away after that, leaving him alone with the invitations. Just looking at those envelopes hurt more than he could imagine. He knew this day would come eventually, he hoped he would. He just hoped that his name was engraved on paper next to yours.

“Maybe,” Said Ashton with a grin “But if she didn’t want you there then why did she ask me to RSVP for you?” Luke’s eyes widened like plates, he knew Ashton had called his bluff once again “She said you never answer yours so I did it for you. Cause she wants you there, Luke. You were her best friend, too”

Luke groaned and covered his face with his hand “Why did you do that?!” He asked with an exasperated tone, wanting to hate on the drummer but knowing that that was impossible.

“Because you need to go, mate! You can’t leave her hanging like this!”

“And what am I supposed to say?!” He yelled, he was not used to yelling but he was at the ends of his wits ``‘Oh, hey Y/N! A beautiful day isn’t it? Perfect weather to break my heart into a million pieces while you marry another guy and I’m sitting there watching, wishing I was him! I’m happy for you, though I’m really not cause I know it’s been like what? 3 years 5 months and 24 days since we broke up? but I’m still in love with you. Okay have fun?!”’

He grabbed an empty can from the floor and threw it away, hitting the door of his closet. He was beyond furious and frustrated. You were getting married and he can’t do anything to stop it; to stop you.

Ashton sighed, heartbroken by this whole ordeal “You’ve been counting?”

“Ever since that day. It was my greatest mistake and now I’m suffering from it. Karma really is a bitch. Did you know our anniversary is supposed to be in 5 days? And now it’s impossible to ever get her back”

The drummer placed a hand on Luke's shoulder, he wished he could make his pain go away. He’s never seen his friend so heartbroken before and it pained him knowing that there was nothing he could do about it.

“Luke,” He said in a fatherly tone “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But believe when I tell you she wants you there, she misses you” Luke turned his head towards Ashton, his eyes begging him not to lie “I’m serious, she’s always asking about you but she’s too scared to talk to you thinking that you don’t want to speak to her. She needs you there, man. Not as a bitter ex and to show you she’s moved on, but as a friend. And I know for a fact you can’t say not to her, even when you’re mad”

Luke sighed. Ashton was right. He could never deny you anything, even before you were together and you were just his best friend, you were always his weakness.

He misses you too, every day since you broke up he’s been missing you. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see you at least one last time, given that your last interaction was awkward as hell.

“I can’t go, Ash”

Ashton nodded with a disappointing sigh as he got up from the floor, but before he could walk out the door he heard Luke say “I can’t go because I don’t have a suit!”

Ashton smiled “I got you covered, buddy” And left the room so Luke could take a shower.

Ashton’s suit was itchy, but Luke was grateful that he didn’t have to show up in jeans and an old BonJovi shirt.

He was surprised to find out that they were actually on time, although he wouldn’t be surprised if someone told him that Ashton woke him up much earlier than needed to get there on time.

They met with Michael and Calum in the parking lot, they greeted each other and started talking as if Luke’s heart wasn’t about to burst from the anxiety he was feeling.

To show up at a wedding is something; to show up at your ex’s aka the love of your life’s wedding is… unsettling. He understood why his friends didn’t want to make it awkward for him, yet the awkwardness settled at the moment he stepped foot out of the car.

“She’s getting married in a church?” He asked no one in particular.

“Yeah? That’s why we are here, mate” Calum chuckled.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. You never wanted to get married in a church or even a chappel. No, if he remembers correctly, your dream wedding was somewhere outdoors; either a park or a forest or even someone’s backyard. You used to say that love was the most beautiful and natural thing in the universe, so it was logical to celebrate something as powerful as a wedding in the eyes of nature, so it all came to be one for love and love can be one for all.

He remembers he laughed at that, not to mock you in any way, but in awe of how beautiful you put it. Everything you said sounded like poetry to him, even if you were just reading a menu in a Chinese restaurant. But now your poetry would belong to someone else, and he only hoped that that someone deserves to hear it.

He doesn’t know the groom, he believes his name was Phill? Or something like that? Ashton always said he was kind of a jerk, but you loved him enough to marry him so maybe he wasn’t that bad. But for Luke he would always be the man that stole you from him.

All three of his friends started walking inside the rustic church and Luke followed, incapable to think about anything else that wasn’t you at that moment.

However, the minute he entered the cold building he knew something was wrong.

The church was filled with people he didn’t know, he assumed they must be from the groom’s side of the family, but he would bet the 35$ Ashton left in his pocket that you didn’t know half of these people either.

You never wanted a big wedding, hell, you didn’t even want a big birthday party, no matter how much Luke insisted on it.

“Those kinds of parties are not for the ones being celebrated!” You told him once “If it was truly important then all you need is your closest friends and your found family. What else is there to love?”

Your words kept repeating themselves inside Luke’s head. What else is there to love? Indeed.

That wasn’t the only thing catching his attention though. With every step he took towards his seat he found out more things out of place, out of you.

For example, the color scheme was terrible and he knows you didn’t pick it, your favorite colors were nowhere to be seen. Then it was the flowers, if there is one thing he never forgot about you were your favorite flowers. You used to fill the house with them saying that they were your little serotonin boosters, he remembers how happy they made you and how one time he nearly bought all the flowers in the shop to surprise you when you were having a bad day. Now he cannot even look at them without thinking of you.

The more steps he took the more flawed this wedding looked. And yes, he knows that sounds bad, especially coming from him. But it was the truth. Not even the music sounded like it would come from you.

The words ‘This is not right’ Kept screaming at the back of his head.

The Y/N he knew would never choose those flowers or those colors or that guest list or that venue, nor the song that was playing over the speakers. She preferred live music over all the rest and, if she would’ve asked, she’d known that all four of them would perform for free on the happiest day of her life, even if it was the crappiest day for him.

If someone were to tell him a year ago that this is how your wedding would look, he would’ve laughed cause this is not like you. This wedding, this… charade of glamour and show.. this wasn’t you. This wasn’t Y/N. And it's supposed to be your day!

He couldn’t understand why you’d choose this? This was so unlike you, unless… unless he never really knew you at all.

And just like that, the sinking feeling of dread came upon him as he tried to figure out who was the person he knew and who are you now? What changed so much to make you lose all that you once were?

What if?

What if he knew how to love you better? He wouldn’t have let you walk away from him. He would’ve fought for you, for the two of you, instead of just giving up like he did.

Luke knew he loved you. Fuck, he still loves you like the first day. And now you are loving somebody else cause he didn’t know how to keep the most beautiful thing he ever had; the most beautiful thing he let die. He messed up, but his biggest fuck up was realizing it and doing nothing about it.

And now it was too late.

“Dude, are you okay?” Michael whispered when he noticed his friend's frown.

Luke nodded, lips pressed together in a thin line “What were you saying?”

Michael smiled with mischief “We were just laughing at how ridiculous Phillip looks. That suit does not suit him at all”

For the first time since he came, he looked over at the altar. Standing there was the so-called Phill you were going to marry. He was talking to his groomsmen and laughing obnoxiously at what seemed like an inappropriate joke. What did you see on that guy?

“Did you know the name Phillip means horse lover?” Said Calum, trying to stiff a laugh with the other two friends.

They were doing their best to keep Luke distracted and he appreciated that. But seeing the groom so unpreoccupied, so chill and uninterested made his blood boil. How could he be so at ease? If it were him, if he had the wonderful chance to marry you, he’d be a ball of anxiety. He’d be wondering just how beautiful you’d look, if you were feeling as nervous as he was, if you were as happy as he was and how he couldn’t wait to marry you… He would do all that because he will know that he is the luckiest man on earth. But that’s not his truth at all.

“I’m going to take a walk”

Neither of them told him that the ceremony was about to start or offered to accompany him. They knew he needed time and they wouldn't pressure him at all. Luke silently thanked them for that.

He walked out of the ceremony hall and started pacing around the halls, quickly getting lost as he tried to ease his mind.

How could he go through this and pretend that he’s okay? He remembered Ashton’s words from this morning and knew that if you wanted him here then he would be here, but that still didn’t make it any easier.

He would go through the ends of the earth for you if you asked him to, but this? This might be the hardest thing he has ever done, second only to let you go.

His curls were getting messy because of all the ruffling he did with his hands. He needed to pull himself together before the ceremony, he needed to seem okay in front of you. He-

The soft cries coming from behind the door caught his attention. They were hushed but they seemed completely broken. Whoever was behind that door must feel just as hopeless as he did.

“Hello?” He said, knocking on the wooden door “Hello, are you okay in there?”

The sniffing sounds stopped “Luke?”

It was quiet, almost like a whisper. But Luke would recognize your voice anywhere, especially after not hearing you say his name for 3 years.

“Y/N?”

The door opened with a click and revealed a supply closet and, inside that supply closet, there was a bride. There you were.

Luke’s breath almost disappeared as you knocked the wind out of his lungs. You looked beautiful. Stunning in your white dress. Magical as your hair was perfectly styled. Breathtaking with your waterproof makeup still intact, although you would look breathtaking without it as well. Ethereal as you looked at him and he realized that all the times that he missed you seemed small at how much he missed you now and how he would miss you all his life.

If there were any other adjectives to describe how you looked, he would take them all out of the dictionary and give them to you in the form of a song. Cause in his eyes there was no other beauty that could compare, that even the sadness in your eyes seemed to compliment your magnificent. And that was something he couldn’t ignore.

Without thinking it twice he took a couple of steps in front of you and cupped your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumb as he murmured: “What’s wrong, love?”

Hearing his voice so worried and soft shook something in you, something that you didn’t know you still had but at the same time knew that it would never go away.

More tears started streaming down your eyes as your gaze met his, making you get lost in those baby blue marbles.

“I- I don’t know what I’m doing, Lukey” You confessed in a whisper.

At the sound of his nickname, Luke felt like he could float away in a cloud of happiness. He thought you’ve forgotten. But the look on your face denoted a fear he hoped he’d never got to see again.

Your eyes were puffy red and your cheeks were flushed, not only because of the blush. And your eyes, they were terrified and Luke didn’t know what to do, so he just said.

“You’re getting married today” You didn’t miss the hint of sadness that laced those words. You hoped that could mean something.

You placed your hands on his wrist, holding his hands that were cupping your face and making them stay there. Right now it was the only comfort you got.

“I don’t know if I should-“ You choke out a sob “Luke, I’m scared- I’m so scared”

“Do you love him?” The words pained him, cutting right through his heart. But you and him were here for a reason, and that reason was waiting at the altar.

He secretly prayed that you would say no, that you would beg him to take you away and run away together, maybe elope somewhere far away and not come back to this place ever again.

He saw the hesitation in your eyes and he knew his answer.

“Y/N, I love-“

“There you are!”

Luke closed his eyes in annoyance when he felt his words get stuck in his throat as the stranger’s voice came closer to them. You quickly pulled away from him and that only made his heart break more than it already was.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Said one of the bridesmaids Luke has never seen before, he assumed that it was from the side of the groom as well, just like everything else “The ceremony is about to start, we need to go now!”

She quickly grabbed you by the wrist and practically draged you to the ceremony hall.

You were desperate. Your pleading eyes searched for Luke, begging for him to do something. But what could he do now? His shocking state left him standing right there with his eyes glued to your figure being dragged away somewhere he didn’t know you wanted to be. It all happened so fast that the only thing he could think of was that this might be the last chance he’s got to see you and all he could do was stare into your pretty eyes cloud with fear and tears.

‘Here comes the bride’ started playing through the speakers of the church and Luke clenched his fists to his side. You hated this song.

He went back to his seat minutes after the ceremony started. His three best friends were looking at him with curiosity and a thousand questions in their minds. They knew the minute that they saw you come in that those tears were not of happiness and, judging by Luke’s hard, emotionless face, he had something to do with it.

Throughout the whole ceremony, Luke couldn’t stop staring at you. It was eating him inside the fact that he knew you didn’t want this and yet you were still going through it. He couldn’t understand why. He is losing you right before his eyes and he couldn’t take that.

He knew that the moment you say ‘I do’ would be the moment his soul would die forever.

“Luke?”

He knew something was wrong. He knew it the moment he parked the car in a freaking church and your eyes filled with tears just confirmed it to him.

“Luke, are you okay?” Michael whispered once again, concerned about the white knuckles on his best friend’s fists.

He loves you. He loves you so fucking much and he can’t let you do this.

He won’t let you do this.

“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace"

“Fuck it,” Luke said before standing up.

In one second, all eyes were on him. He could feel the stares of strangers, the judgy whispers of the families, and even the shit-eating grins from his best friends sitting beside him. But all his attention was on you. On you and your relieved face.

“I object to this union,” He said in a firm voice that overshadowed the murmurs, leaving everyone completely quiet.

He could see your eyes clouding with tears and the way your lips seemed to be saying his name in one breath. That was all he needed to keep going.

Luke took a few steps to the side, walking until he ended up in the middle of the aisle, looking at you and only you.

“Y/N, I love you,” He said, earning a few gasps from the public “I love you since the day I met you, the day I first asked you to be mine, and even on the day I lost you. I was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of the magic we created and decided that it was best to let it go before it went out of hand. But you, you always believed in magic; you always believed in me and, Y/N that’s why I’m here telling you that I am still in love with you. And that you are making a big mistake here, just like I did when I lost you. But we are still on time to make everything right.

This, however, is not right and you know it. Where are you in all of this? Do they know your favorite flowers or that your favorite song includes a swear word? Do they know the way you take your coffee or your favorite colors? Do they know how much you love to dance, especially when no one is watching?

I know you, baby. I know you enough to say with certainty that this is not what you wanted. I know how much you love rain and how you wish time would stop every time you take a shower so it could last longer. I know that you cry during every movie, even if they have a happy ending because you always believed in them. I know you never want to break someone’s heart so you are willing to take the hurt as long as the other person is okay. I know that my biggest regret is losing you, cause you are the only thing I got right in my life.

You are life, fire, spark, patience, and love. You are the kindest person on earth and you deserve so much more than this world could give. No one deserves you, darling but I would spend the rest of my days trying to.

I’m in love with you Y/N L/N. Please, don’t- don’t marry him”

Luke’s eyes were watery as he swallowed down a sob on the last part of his speech. His eyes never left yours for a second as his body visibly shook with anxiety and fear, waiting for your answer.

You, on the other hand, were smiling through the tears “I love you too, Luke” You said loud enough for all to hear, and Luke felt like he could breathe again, a smile growing wide as he let a few tears roll down his eyes.

You ran down the aisle to his arms, fully sinking into them as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Luke’s chuckle reverberated through his chest as he picked you up and spun you around in your wedding dress, finally putting you down and looking right into your eyes, now clouded with happy tears.

“I told you you were going to look beautiful in white”

He kissed you with all the love he had in his heart. It was honest, pure, and filled with happiness as the two lovers finally reunite, making the entire church erupted in cheers.

The groom, however, didn't share that excitement. He was fuming red as he started walking towards Luke with his groomsmen, calling you derogatory names as he was ready to start a fight.

“Oh, fuck no” Said Calum, walking down to the middle of the aisle along side Ashton and Michael, creating a safe distance between the two of you and the fight that was about to start. Phillip was not happy, but before he could give the first punch Calum’s fist was already on his face, making him tumble back with a bloody nose “Take that horse lover!”

All hell broke loose in the middle of church as punches were thrown carelessly. The three Australians seemed to be winning the fight with ease, beating the asses of your now ex-fiancé and his friends.

The public was too distracted by the fight to notice how you walked away from the aisle as you cheered on your friends to kick their kneecaps. Luke took your hand and pulled you towards him, still laughing as he began tugging on it for you to follow, and so you did.

You ran as fast as you could, leaving everyone behind without a second thought. The only thing in your mind being the love you had for each other and how you won’t take it for granted this time.

“I love you,” He said as you reached the car, placing his hands at the side of your waist and leaning in for a kiss filled with adrenaline “I fucking love you, Y/N”

You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him back with all the love you kept from him during all these years “I love you too, Luke. We are meant for forever”

“Forever and beyond”

It was a crazy sight from every point of view. The man with the messy hair and the girl in a wedding dress kissing in the middle of a church parking lot while the guests all peered from the entrance of the building, four of them bleeding through their nose with tears in their black eyes, and three of them with their clothes all messed up and sweaty, smiling triumphantly as they watched their friends live their love again.

With one last kiss, Luke helped you get inside the car and he quickly got to the other side, starting the engine just in time to hear the bells chime. Marking the start of your real happily ever after with the love of your life.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @myloverboyash

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ohayopoko · 3 years

Text

To my mutuals and my readers…

I truly am sorry yall had to see me down in the gutter checking bitches like this, I really am. I apologize to y’all cause I know y’all come to my blog for a good time, for some good smut😏 and lately it’s just been drama and that’s not what I’m about.

However, I will NEVER apologize for the way I handled that situation and def AIN’T apologizing for no shit I ain’t start because I was more than nice and understanding in the beginning and I tried to ignore and let the other party play victim because they couldn’t understand the foreign action of taking accountability for their own actions.

Now, I don’t know exactly what the streets are saying about me because I really do not care to indulge in internet beef w a unstable dookie mouf weirdo bitch, but let me just clear something up because mfs throwing dirt on my good name like I did something wrong;

1. I did not send minors to interact with NSFW blogs

In MY blog rules I state that minors CAN interact with MY blog simply because it is the internet and people are gonna do wtf they wanna do. That does NOT mean my blog rules apply to other blogs and whoever is spreading the rumor that I told minors it was okay to interact w nsfw blogs can literally go kill themselves.

2. I did NOT send minors porn links and this accusation just goes to show how sick and mentally fucked up in the head the person accusing me is.

3. I didn’t send mfs to bully anybody, anything that person got was in direct consequences to the content they put out on their blog

I was over the whole situation until this morning I woke up and saw the person tagging me in shit and accusing me of sending people to send her death threats or w.e I didn’t fully read everything I just skimmed but apparently the person thinks they’re sending hate on my behalf and I promise y’all, I never cared that much about a bitch to cyber bully ha okay?

Let’s also remember I never willingly interacted with this person she hmu one day begging me to support and reblog her writing and it was beyond weird so I brushed her off but then they followed me and joined my gc’s kept interacting- they just became a fan so I decided to humor them and try to be mutuals since they were showing so much initiative.

For those who are confused abt how this all started keep reading but dis da last time I will mention this drama on my blog cause I hate giving roaches clout but basically, Aii so boom-

Now, when they were boasting about their racist!Eren fic in the “Pink Punani Groupchat” which I was barely ever active in I jumped in and I was like “What? No” and when we were discussing why it was offensive and hurtful to some this person left the gc and they only came back when one unfortunate user started to praise their racist smut again. Now I will admit the gc got staticky and I tried my best to be respectful because everyone there was my mutuals but it got out of hand and the arguing went on because the person got defensive and refused to take any accountability or understand where everybody else was coming from.

I also had a private chat w the person and I explained to them how I felt when I saw the racist!Eren content, I explained this fandoms mistreatment of black women, I explained how I would not be the only one who’s uncomfortable with that kind of content and I explained how it could hurt or impact other black girls scrolling on tumblr who could come across it because the warnings weren’t explicit enough.

Nobody in the gc shat on her writing, nobody in the gc insulted her either we gave praise and constructive criticism and the first thing I said to her when we stepped out of the gc to talk was “respectfully ur writing is bomb, u always drop hot shit,”

During the conversation they acted as if they understood and they were remorseful and I tried to sympathize and put myself in her shoes too and that was last thing I said to her regarding the situation. In the gc we discussed it a bit more and they got defensive all over again and started attacking people then they left the gc the next morning.

The whole situation left me so drained I deleted both gc’s and I blocked the person but my mutuals let me know they were spinning shit on their blog to make us look like we attacked them, berated them and bullied them.

Again, I let ha rock and it was like 2 or 3 days after I found out she was stalking my friend Myah on her social media platforms and she kept unblocking her to send hate then blocking her again and it was weird because she thought it was Myah harassing her when we literally left her the entire way alone after the whole gc situation.

So I took it upon myself to address the person directly and yes, I was disrespectful and no, I do not care. I also do not give a fuck that she’s receiving death threats about her racist smut it’s not my business and I did not send anybody talk shit about ha motha’s neck. I wasn’t even worried abt ha yall think I’m worried about ha motha’s neck?😭✋🏾

This is the LAST time I will be addressing this situation on my blog, this is the last time I will be putting energy into a group of chopped bitches who can’t read the room cause they obviously could never get like me or get close to me so they gotta throw dirt on my name and paint me out to be the bad guy ringleader or some shit man idk idc but anyways

I said what I said, I’m standing on it and can’t no bitch knock me off. 🗣

All anons and submissions pertaining to this situation will be deleted💓

#cause ik yall wanna know what’s going on #I’m sorry to my followers they had to see me snatching bitches like this

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

Text

❛ YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE ❜

✨ REQUEST: hermanikiiiiiii i wanted to request you the prompt number 1 with coco cruz!!thank you, love you muchisisimoooooo💕💕

✨ PROMPTS: “Wait, you love me? Like Garfield loves Lasagna?”

✨ MADE BY: Juls.

Gif credit: to my lovely @supervalcsi.

WORDS: about 2k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤

❚❙ JOHNNY ‘COCO’ CRUZ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

When you heard that Coco had been shot, your heart suddenly stopped. It was four days ago in some kind of dog's fight, as Chuckie told you at the scrapyard. Bishop needed someone to take care of him while they were investigating what happened, so you offered yourself without doubting it.

Much to your regret, you are only two good friends, even if you feel more things that you can't explain, about which you haven't talked with anyone. And thanks to your work in the hospital, you managed a room only for him, so he could rest as much as he wanted, as much as he needed. But your back hurts like hell after being sleeping on the sofa, close to the bed, just to make sure that you were able to attend to all his necessities for minimal they were.

These days there, you have learned a lot about him, about his curiosities, about his fears; spending his time awake talking with you to keep his mind entertained, to not think about the pain in his lower abdomen. Your mates took the bullet in a jiffy, but, normally, the sorrow remains for a couple of weeks. Luckily, he only complained when the hour of the next turn of medicines was close.

You have tried to not think about your feelings the time you were in the hospital, but it was impossible. All you wanted to do was to lie by his side on the bed, embrace him between your arms and kiss him, having to conform yourself with holding his hand and resting your cheek on the mattress. Your eyes have never left his eyes, not even when he was sleeping, on alert in case of an unforeseen because of pain, or an infection, or God who knows. You were really paranoid.

“You ready?”

Coco glared at you, slightly tilting his head. You had asked the same question five times in the last two minutes. Offering him a hand to secure himself, the mexican put down from the hospital bed, ready to leave and go home. Angel and Gilly had cleaned his house, even if you insisted to Bishop that you could do it. But he asked you back to stay with him till the next morning, so he wouldn't stay the night alone until they came back from the other side of the border.

Two knocks in the opened door brought you back to reality from your own thoughts, in the meantime that you helped Coco to wear his leather kutte. Directing your tired eyes to the entrance of the room, you found three Vicki's girls, happily waving their hands. Raising an eyebrow confused and your lips pressed, they came in without asking.

“Papi, we've missed you”. The latin and playful tone of voice from Mariela, as she swung her hips to your friend, gave you shivers.

In just one sight, your presence was pushed to the background. These girls hadn't even called to ask about his state of health and, now, they were there as if they did all the work you did —delighted, of course. Trying to keep calm, you put Coco's clothes into his bag, zipping it when everything is ready.

“No te preocupes, we take care of him now”. Carolina sentenced with contempt and superiority, grabbing his stuff ready to abandon the hospital.

“Yeah, mami. Go home and rest”. His words hurt. More than a bullet.

Preferring their company besides yours let you know that he hadn't taken in count what you did. And yes, you did it because you wanted, but you also thought that maybe could mean a step ahead. But it wasn't. Not saying a word, doing anything but a simple nod with your chin, you grabbed your bag to step out from there. Ashamed. Feeling stupid.

Two weeks have passed and Coco has come back to the clubhouse. This time you have been doing extra shifts to compensate for your lost days taking care of him, almost walking like a zombie from home to work, and from work to home. So, when Bishop invites you to a party in his honor, you decline it. You are too tired physically to assist and tired mentally for foolishness. What is the point of going to a party to see Coco having fun with those bitches? You have had enough after two weeks without receiving a single text to thank you or to know how you are. He hasn't even cared about the fact that you haven't shown up in the club for two weeks. That's the little he thinks in your friendship.

Zapping from one channel to another, you try to find something to watch. A movie, a tv show, whatever that helps to distract your mind, while you enjoy thai noodles with beef. Finally finding an action movie, you cover yourself with a cozy blanket, grabbing the cardboard box to start your dinner. The ringtone of your phone interrupts your calm, with Coco's name on the screen. At first, you don't want to answer, but he continues insisting for more than three long minutes. Hanging up and calling again. With a furious growl installed in your throat, you leave over the table your dinner to grab your phone.

“The fuck means you aren' comen'?”

He doesn't even let you say hi or how are you.

“It means that I'm tired and I have to work at five”.

“I don' think one damn beer reverses your sleeping schedule, Yo' Grace”.

“Fuck you, Jonathan. I've been working double shifts to cover the hours I was taking care of you in th—”.

“Nobody asked you to do it”.

Eyes widened and your heart racing. You can't believe he just said that.

“Yeah, nobody did. But your hermanos preferred to be on the other side of the border. Your putas preferred to be partying and sucking dicks in Vicki's. And your mamá sent me pal' carajo when I called to tell her what happened. I did it because I was your friend. Because I cared about you. Because seeing you there with… all those tubes was killing me. That shit continues giving me nightmares every fucking night. But you shit on that. You kicked me as soon as your putas came to the hospital”. You don't know when you have started to cry, more than because of the rage than because of the sadness. “I'm sorry if I'm too tired to drink a fucking beer, but my job is more important than a person who doesn't give a shit about me, who hasn't called or text me in two weeks, who only wants my company when no one else is around. Have fun in your damn party and fuck all those whores to thank them for picking you up from the hospital, but didn't care about how you were after being shot”.

Hanging up, you toss the phone somewhere on the table, wrapping your body with the blanket and lying down on the sofa. Trying to contain the tears, the only thing you earn is to cry bitterness. You can't understand why he only has noticed your absence at the party. What has changed? Probably it was his egocentrism working, wanting to be surrounded by a lot of people, not caring if they're his friends or not. But you're done being his lapdog.

About to fall asleep, the angry hits in the main door make you suddenly wake up agitated.

“Open up!”

The rage is consuming you again after hearing the strong mexican accent, taking three long strides towards it to receive him with your reddened crystal eyes.

“What the fuck 'you want now? Haven't you had enough beating myself up?”

“You're fuckin' dramatic”. He spits in your face, stopping with a foot the slam to his about to close the door again. “I didn't talk to you because you were working, bu' you didn't talk to me either”.

“Yeah, because you were served with your bitches. Go fuck yourself, Jonathan”.

“Don' call me like that again”. Coco grunts taking a step into your house. “You had to work, they came to cover your back”.

“Oh, please, don't make me laugh. They just wanted to have the credits of taking care of you, so you will expend more money with them. That's the only thing they care about you. Wake up from your world of fantasy, Coco. If you weren't part of the MC, you wouldn't be a shit for them; just another fucking soldier with a broken home”. You can't help but push his chest with both hands, driven by anger.

At first, he doesn't say anything. He looks thoughtful, being aware of the truth in your words. And it hurts that you have to be the one to open his eyes. The problem is that you weren't thinking while talking, pulling your gaze away from him and pressing your trembling lips, one against the other.

“I'm sorry”. You babble, cleaning your tears with the back of your left hand. “I didn't mea—”.

“But you said so”. Coco interrupts you with a husky tone of voice, bristling every inch of skin of your anatomy. “That's wha' I am without my kutte. An ex-soldier, a criminal, an outlaw. I spend my money on them because they take care of me, one way or another”.

“I did it too”.

“So, what? What you want? Money? Tell me an amount”.

Squinting at him, you can't help but chuckle with a painful and bitter laugh.

“I did it because I love you, not because I want your money”. You confess, knowing there's no going back. “I don't care about your money, nor your job, nor about your kutte. I love you because you make me happy. After all, for me, there's nothing better than a hug of yours, because you… you are simply amazing. You're intelligent, funny, loyal. And I wish that you could see yourself through my eyes, Coco”.

He, not saying anything, is killing you slowly. Barely breathing, you cross your arms over your chest to hide the fact that your lungs aren't receiving any air.

“I thought that after being shot, you realized you only live once. And that… after being those… boring days with me, you realized that you preferred the company of these other girls. The funny part of being alive. So I just pulled myself away”. Taking a small pause, you bow down your head, cleaning your tears again. “These weeks have been torture. I've written you a lot of texts that I haven't sent… and I've been a lot of times about to call you. But 'you know that… feeling when you think... the other person is not gonna answer you, because maybe is too busy for you? That shit has been destroying me”.

Hoping that Coco finally is going to speak, he remains silent. Looking at you openmouthed, processing all the information you have just give him.

“Can you, ple—please, say something?” You beg almost shaking.

“Wait, you… love me? Like… Garfield loves lasagna?”

Raising your eyes, pouting at him, you know that he's trying to make you laugh after understanding all the pain you have been through. Lonely. Without talking about it with anyone.

“I'm sorry, mami… I just… fuck”.

Cupping your cheeks onto his hands, Coco slams his lips on yours, tasting the salty tears you have shed because of him. The sloppy kisses bring some more air to your lungs, calming your racing pulse and making you feel less unhappy. As your fingers get intertwined in his shirt, crinkling under your grip, he urges you to walk backward so he can close the main door with a kick.

“God knows I'm so fuckin' sorry… Please, forgive me”. Coco's whispers brush your lips, keeping his eyes closed just like yours. “I'm gonna take care of you now, okay?”.

Nodding in silence, you place your arms around his middle back, hiding your face into his chest. His strong scent brings you back to life, while his arms wrap you tightly to comfort all the pain he has provoked you without knowing it.

“I just want you, ma'. No one else. Just you”.

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ✨#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc #johnny coco cruz x reader #johnny coco cruz imagine #coco cruz imagine #coco cruz x reader #coco cruz

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alirhi · 3 years

Text

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

#loki #loki spoilers #loki series #loki negativity #loki hate #thor 2011 #the dark world #ragnarok #the avengers #infinity war #endgame #fuck sylvie #fuck marvel #fuck disney #this show sucked #ragepost #rant #long post #ali is angry

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fakeloveaskblog · 3 years

Note

Janus!!!! You and Remus should go to play Lasertag!!! (is that how it's spelled? is that what it's called?) I'm sure Remus would love that!

(Words: 2206)

Janus: "Hmmm while I am not a big fan of the idea of lasertag it does sound like something he would like.......I shall give it a try"

Remus was banging on the vending machine right outside Picani's office to try and get some candy out. Janus was telling the vending machine it was a stupid piece of shit in support. They had just gotten out of their fake therapy session.

“HAHA!” Remus let out a triumphant laugh as he got the candy. He immediately lunged his goblin mouth down into the bag. Only stopping to ask if his friend wanted any. He said no.

“So...” Janus began. He fiddled with his gloves out of nervousness “I kind of had a falling out with a...friend a few days ago and I could- I mean- Maybe hanging out would I uhm help me to think of something else. IF You want to?! I am totally forcing you to hang out. No saying no allowed totally. Maybe lasertag would be fun?”

His friend had sugar all around his lips as he grinned “Of course J-anus! Anything for my snakey! Hey you can pretend the other people are your friend and fuck them up!!”

Janus didn’t get a chance to respond, his crush had already started to walk towards the entrance. He had a skip in his step and he was flapping his hands around.

“Oh I know a lasertag place not far away! I think I still have one of the highscores there!”

They took the bus to the place. They sat so they were facing each other instead of beside each other. Janus didn’t want to intrude too much on his personal space.

The lasertag place was half filled with teenagers and friend groups. Energy drinks and chips could be bought. On the wall a display of the records of the day, month and all time stood. On the tenth place on the all time records stood BUTTMASTER420.

“Aww I was on the 7th place the last time I was here” Remus pouted.

“It just means you have to get a new record today” Janus replied with a smile.

“That’s the spirit snakey!”

Remus once again paid for everything without giving his friend a chance to pay for himself. Janus felt a little embarrassed putting on the laser tag gear but seeing the stupidly big grin on his crush’s face easily made up for any negative feelings.

The game room was dark with only a few neon lights here and there. The fake walls and obstacles made so the players could duck from lasers were also clad in black. Hell even the fake pirate ship sitting in the corner for some reason was all in black!

The dudes were on the same team, the blue one. Along with some strangers. Even more strangers made up the red team. They had 30 seconds to find a starting position in the room before the 15 minute game started.

The moment they were let in Remus took Janus’ hand. He intertwined their fingers while holding his lasergun steadily in his other hand. He ran into the room, pulling his friend along, towards the pirate ship. To Jan’s surprise he ran past it and instead made them both hunch down behind a box.

“We can wait until some bitches have taken over the ship and then destroy them!! That way it’ll be even more exhilarating!” Remus whispered to him.

“Ah yes. The old stealing ship strategy. Done that many times” He replied sarcastically.

The signal went off showing the match had started. Remus let out a delighted squeal and shot up from the cover to shoot at people. His friend stayed hidden.

He saw a stranger running and stopped when they saw them. They aimed towards Remus who was currently laughing like a maniac. Janus aimed back at the stranger and somehow shot right on their chest. Before getting up and pulling his crush along to the nearest other cover, which happened to be a fake pillar.

Janus had a small smile on his face as adrenalin rushed through his veins “This is actually kind of...fun”

“Right??? I knew you’d like it!!”

Remus hit his ear a few times and kept blinking rapildy. There was so much sensory stuff going on it was making his skin feel like static. He usually had his headphones with him, but being with his friend was easily making up for the discomfort.

“Seems like a good time for mutiny” Janus suggested while glancing over to the pirate ship.

“Perfect time!”

They ran between covers. Remus was shooting at every single person he saw. Even blue ones. Janus’s gear beeped a few times showing he’d been shot. By the time he’d gotten to the pirate ship his crush was already crawling up the side of it like a rabid spider.

Janus let out a few panting breathes before walking up onto the ship. “Face your doom fuckers!” Remus was yelling while sprinting up to the people on the top of the ship.

A truly epic battle of shouting joking insults and shooting lasers began. No one was paying attention to Janus so he sneaked around them and sat down right at the highest point of the ship. He could see the whole room. Ah yes! This was true power!!! He proceeded to snipe at any little bitch he saw while his crush playfully barked at the other people until they gave up and left the ship.

Remus sat down and leaned his back against Janus’ so he had full sight of the other side of the room. He let out a cackle every time he hit someone. His laugh was like a chainsaw but Jan still adored it.

“This is almost as exciting as getting to plot revenge against people I will never actually hurt” Jan said.

“Indeed. There’s barely any difference between lasers and poison anyway!”

A few minutes went by, just enough so Janus could properly catch his goddamn breathe. before Remus suddenly jumped up on his feet and pulled in Janus’ shirt to get him to move as well.

“C’mon snakey just sitting safely isn’t exciting enough! We gotta jump back into the battlefield! Dive into the ocean of laser and lava!!”

Janus let out a sigh before holding out his hand so his crush could take it and pull him along to wherever he wanted. Which Remus promptly did. They jumped down from the ship and zigzagged across the room while lasers went here and there.

He slid to a stop against a wall. A loud beeping was going off to show it was only 2 minutes left. Remus let go of his friend to cover his ears. He still held up his smile.

“You feeling okay?” Jan asked.

“Mhm” He nodded and moved his hands away from his ears to instead aim at a few people from the red team “We gotta get in a few more points before it ends right”

“Right on it comrade”

They aimed at as many people as possible. Remus seemed a bit out of it but still chuckled when he got in a good hit.

A stranger ran past them. They stumbled against Remus for just a moment. Their hand landed on his lower back but they quickly continued past them to hide behind a cover.

The sudden push made Remus stumble forward. He froze. The gun hang in the wire connected to his gear. His eyes were wide as he stared down into the floor.

Janus stopped and looked back when he didn’t hear his crush’s laughter anymore. He let go of the gun when he saw the way Remus was holding his hand over his mouth and the way his chest was barely moving.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I...I can’t breathe” Remus let out between gasping breathes for air.

“Is the binder too tight? Ehm is it a sensory overload? What should I-” He rambled out in a panic.

“I can’t....I can’t breathe” Was all he could get out.

“Right. Right...Remus I am going to grab onto your shirt and lead you out of here okay? I won’t do anything more than that”

He waited for his friend to nod before lightly taking ahold of the arm of his shirt and walking through the room to the exit. He didn’t give any of the players running around as much as a chance of accientally touching Remus.

They left the lasertag building and sat down on the sidewalk behind it. Janus let go of his friend and gave him a bit of space. Remus buried his head in his hands while gasping for air.

“Do you need help with-” Janus began.

“I can...I can handle it” Remus interrupted.

His shoulders was shaking and his nails were digging down into his skin. Tears formed in his eyes and he immediately tried to force them away.

“This is so stupid” He mumbled “It was- They barely even touched me- it was an accident- It’s so stupid- so stupid”

“Don’t say that. Sensory overload isn’t anything stupid. It’s not something you can just force away with willpower. All the lights and sound was a bit much for me as well to be honest. So it’s not stupid for you to be overwhelemed either” Janus said in a soothing tone.

The tears kept buldiing up “No. No. It’s so stupid- It happened over a year ago- I should be past it- It’s so stupid”

A cold feeling spread through Janus as he realized it might not only have been a sensory overload but maybe something more close to a flashback. He scooted slightly closer while fiddling with his gloves. He was unsure of how to comfort him.

“I...When....” Janus took a deep breathe “It’s been almost a year since I moved out from my parent’s house...But when I had a window open a few nights ago and the wind suddenly made it slam shut...I...It reminded me so much of doors being slammed shut and....and....So all I could do for the next hours was hide under my blanket with my snake plushie. I knew I was alone in my own apartement...But my body still reacted like I was a teenager”

He stopped to regain his compuser.

“So Remus I promise that whatever you’re reacting to it’s not stupid. Nor is the way you are reacting. I know what’s it like”

Remus looked over at him, his eyes red from crying. “Can I hug you?” He asked with a hoarse voice.

Janus didn’t respond. He simply opened his arms and let Remus cuddle up against his chest. Jan moved his hand up and down his back and and pressed his face into his crush’s fluffy mess of a hair.

They sat in silence for a bit. Every now and then Remus sniffled but he didn’t try to move away. Sometimes Janus mumbled something meaningless but comforting.

Eventually Remus moved back. The tears had dried on his cheeks and his breathing was steady. He stood up and rubbed his palms against his eyes before standing up. Janus did as well.

“You should probably drink some water when you come home. So you don’t get a headache from the crying” He suggested.

“Thanks snakey” Remus let up into a small smile. He suddenly took out his phone and typed something “I ehm...I’m sending my adress to you. I know you’ve already walked me there. but in case you’d forgotten. And in which apartment number I live. I don’t have any job and i don’t sleep much so you can come at like anytime! Just to hang out. If you want!”

“Oh no I would absolutely despise having to spend time with a person I’ve already choosen to spend several very fun hours with”

Remus’ smile moved into a grin “Great! And uh next time we hang out after therapy we can do something you want. I know these past times we’ve done stuff I’m mostly interested so you can choose!”

Butterflies flied around in Janus’ chest “I would love to!”

“Maybe we can invite Remy as well!”

Both of them sighed at the same time “They’re so pretty”

They glanced at each other with blushing cheeks before letting up into laughter and giggling. By the end of it all the bad feelings left by the breakdown we’re gone.

Remus reached out and held Janus’ hand for a moment “Well I shall see you next time! Don’t die!”

He let go and started to walk away, a skip still in his step. “I’ll do my best!” Janus replied.

He stood still with a big goofy grin on his lips and with blush reaching up to his ears. He looked over to you with an excited look on his eyes.

Janus: “Did you see that!? He really does seem to like being with me! Oh I wonder where I’ll take Remy and Remus to hang out. Maybe a museum? Oh and his adress! Exscuse me I am not usually this excited but ahhh I can just go over and hang out?? Whenever I want to??? Should I? I want to! Should I go over to him this weekend? Is that normal? Is that okay?”

#this is meant to take place on the same day Janus did the goth makeover btw #so just feel free to imagine Janus in full goth makeup and in a swishy black skirt #dukeceit #demus #janus sanders #remus sanders #mini fic

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