#and WHAT. STOP. the spy ALREADY has a way to hurt all classes!

[get-more-bald]

every day I thank god fans aren't in charge of making updates to games

[saoirseirose]

Put a label first? (S.G)

pairings: satoru gojo x gn!reader(they/them pronouns used)

warnings: satoru being a major asshole, reader is also an asshole, toxic behavior, implied cheating(not really) mentions of homeless gym-rat, name-calling (whore, for like one time) descriptions of burial(idk if i should put this as a warning but hey, better than being sorry) brief mentions of smut, dry-humping

fluff(??)

(not proofread, sorry not sorry)

wc: what's that lol

fling!gojo who would always send the most confusing signals towards you. the relationship between the two of you is confusing enough by itself, but with satoru and his charms—it's much worse.

fling!gojo who doesn't know how this whole thing started, all he remembers is he met you through a small party—one he surprisingly didn't held. the next thing he knows, his face was buried between your legs, whining like a virgin the whole night until he passed out after one round. though he did remember to snatch your phone while you slept, "subtly" putting his number in and even putting his own nickname to "big dick god", you changed it ofcourse

fling!gojo who would show up at your dorms unannounced, in the middle of the night. he claims it's more convenient that way. he knows you know. you know about his different booty calls—hell, maybe you even befriended some due to the 'similarities' you had. it wasn't a secret that the white haired male was a notorious playboy, going from one girl to another. it shocked you at first, since you assumed he was some virgin after that one faithful night he warmed 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 bed.

fling!gojo who also knows about your shenanigans, the multiple men and women who kept spreading the word about your stamina—he called bullshit, but ofcourse you 𝘩𝘢𝘥 to prove him wrong. yet he self proclaimed that he's the best you've ever had. 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘳: he wasn't, yet.

fling!gojo who always sabotages your other 'flings'. whether it's purposely threatening them, to talking shit about you just to turn them off, he always has a plan—for different scenarios, genders, and even age

fling!gojo who got murderous when he heard about this new guy you're possibly dating, 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙮. what else could it be? another hook-up? did you pay for the guy? is it a one time thing? no, that can't be. the two of you haven't had sex yet, right? not like satoru would know. he definitely didn't move dorms just to press his nosy ear into the wall to hear whatever bullshit you're doing next door with that guy. definitely didn't. he also didn't bribe suguru to run a background check on the guy. why would he? it's not like he's already attached to you or something.

fling!gojo who one-upped his stalking skills, from stalking the guy you're with through social media, to changing classes to 'subtly' spy on him to see if he has any bad intention towards you. he's not doing this to stop you from being hurt, oh no no. he's doing this to expose the guy, to expose the dude and to show you 𝘩𝘦 is the only one right for you. completely sane, this is gojo satoru afterall

fling!gojo who immediately gets 𝘵𝘰𝘰 toxic than usual, whenever he'd come over— it's like he has gone feral. straight up stripping you down and using you as if you're some sort of gloryhole for him. when you brought it up one night, while the two of you laid in bed— he passed it off as "blowing off some steam". you called bullshit.

fling!gojo who finally makes his move, going up to the guy you're being rumoured to be dating— rumoured. the word spread through campus like wild fire, you— another known individual who probably slept with the whole student population, were in a relationship, a serious one. as your other hook-ups were cut off, by you, in an instant and with no hesitation. some were heartbroken as they thought what you had with them was serious, and some were happy knowing you're probably going to settle down before graduation. satoru was neither. he was fuming, confused and nervous. so he does the only thing a rational and sane man would do, he goes straight for the guy's neck.

fling!gojo who dies inside when you don't even try prying him for answers.

fling!gojo who feels stupid thinking you'd chase him and try to fix whatever is going between the two of you. were you fuck buddies? friends with benefits? or was it truly all for sex? no labels? no romantic turns? no attachment whatsoever?

fling!gojo who runs to suguru, ranting to his one and only about you. suguru is definitely shocked, as this was the first time 𝘵𝘩𝘦 satoru gojo cried ranted over someone. suguru thinks it's his karma, and that he should just let his bestfriend jump down a building due to a "heart-break", but he also thinks that's too sadistic of him, so suguru decided to be a way for the two of you to talk again and clear up the small misunderstanding you had.

fling!gojo who berates suguru for not trying enough, it's like he's blaming suguru for this whole mess, once he opened his mouth though—he got punched straight in the face, accompanied by suguru's tight smile.

fling!gojo who can't take it anymore, not when he knows that ryomen is probably making his move on you—not when he's the current loser as he had a huge bruise under his right eye, not when he's stuck in his dorm(the same dorm right beside yours) rethinking his life decisions and with suguru giving him the stink-eye. so he finally gets the balls to get up from the floor he laid, taking in a few intakes of dramatic inhales, and he's out the door with a blink of an eye, turning right to spot your door—he doesn't have the time to think as his knuckles meet the wood, he was knocking, he was 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 knocking. it doesn't take a minute before the door swings open, revealing your much smaller frame to him. though he's the one who feels small as of now

"what do you want" your tone indicates you weren't asking, you were demanding him for an answer. if satoru was like suguru, he would've started apologizing in an instant, stating all of his wrong doings, all of his stupid plans, and all of the messed up things he did.

but he wasn't suguru, wasn't he?

"isn't it obvious?" he spats, cereluen eyes narrowing at you, as if he was trying to intimidate you.

but who was he kidding, this was you, you weren't like any of his booty-calls, you weren't the girls in his dms, begging for an ounce of his attention. you weren't like the random girls at parties who were willing to kiss his feet if he said so.

this was you—you who kept him awake, you—who made him question his own sanity. you—who probably had him wrapped around your fingers without even trying

you

𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶

"the fuck did you just say?" you gasped, offended as he came in your frontdoor— unannounced yet again, and he has the audacity to curse you out?

he didn't even realize he said that outloud, so he gasps along with you

"i meant—let's fuck, now" he plays it off, if it weren't for his wide eyes, and the bead of sweat running down his temple, you would probably ignore what he said earlier

"no"

"𝘯𝘰?"

"𝘯𝘰"

"i told you, we're over— whatever is happening between us, it's over"

"says who?"

"says me"

satoru might've just digged his own grave, bought his own casket, a blue casket to match his eyes, maybe with white decorating the sides to match his hair and his cum—for the girls he left, special for them and them only, maybe even for you if your stupid 'boyfriend' didn't tower you from behind and stood like some sort of high-paid bodyguard.

"and who are you?"

that's it, satoru gojo, december 7th 1987—november 18th 2023, at approximately three in the afternoon, chopped into bits by a cleave held by muscular and tattooed arms, with you watching—probably enjoying it everytime ryomen lifts the blade to bring it down to satoru's pretty face. it would be one hell of a investigation for the police to uncover on how the satoru gojo died.

"don't you think i should be the one asking you that?" sukuna barked, sneering as his grip tightened around the handle of the knife, he originally planned on using it to chop pork, to dice meat and cook it with vegetables as his usual recipe, but maybe just for tonight, the meal would include bits of white hair and firmly diced pieces of human genitalia.

"i'm their boyfriend, got any problem with that pal?"

blue casket, with white lines on the side, a banner, preferably with satoru's best picture—him winking with his signature round shades pulled on his nose just to show off his eyes one last time. usher's song would play—more solemn and less hype as the said casket would descend down the open ground, some dirt staining the casket, and roses would soon follow, white roses ofcourse. satoru would be picky, but he would be too busy being dead to care.

"you're with this punk?" ryomen turns to you, looking over your shoulder to finally acknowledge your presence—you were forgotten for two seconds thanks to the two males towering you.

"not really" you sighed, but it wasn't enough to assure ryomen, so he snaps his eyes back to the cheeky azure eyes taunting at him.

he just bought this cleave, it would be a waste if the blade bends due to how many times he'd use it to chop gojo's body.

"not really?"

"not really"

"what do you want gojo?" you spoke, looking at satoru and catching him glare at the male behind you, before his eyes finally meet yours. he blinks for a second, swallowing the lump in his throat—his adam's apple bobbing up and down. was he seriously nervous?

"let's talk, in private"

-------------------------------------------

"you—you said talk—" you wheezed out, hitting on satoru's back as he pressed yours on the wall of his dorm, luckily, his roommate was out to do a project satoru has long-forgotten. right now he's too busy biting on your neck—littering marks as his large hands greedily pawed on your waist, then down to your hips, tugging on the fabric of your bottoms.

"we are talking, baby" satoru's smirk stretched on the juncture of your neck, his breath hot as lithe fingers traced the waistband of your pants before tugging it down— a surprised yelp leaving you, and a low chuckle leaving satoru.

he was fully aware of his surroundings, the door barely closed—enough for any passerbys to see your current state, panting, and your pants tugged down your ankles, a pale veiny hand snaked inside your underwear, and the cold air of the airconditioner balancing the heat emitting from both your bodies, and lastly, his boner pressing against his jeans.

it was only then, satoru realized how much of a burden jeans are. he made a mental note to burn each and every one of his jeans after this

he groans, the low rumbling resonating in his chest that was pressed against yours, satoru was determined to invade your personal space, even if it means crushing you down with his weight.

a mewl from you was enough for satoru to start rutting his clothed cock into your thighs, his fingers slipping inside your slicked hole, ripping out grunts from the two of you

"s tight, gonna leave you gaping so that asshole knows you're mine, yeah?"

silence

more silence

you were in the brink of ecstasy, a second away from creaming in his fingers alone, a thrust of his fingers away from finishing. but it all dissipated despite satoru's continuous ministrations, because it was replaced with laughter.

satoru stopped working his fingers, stopped dry-humping you like a touch-starved man. he stopped, stopped breathing and all when he watched you laughing

he should be mad, because it was rare for him to engage in dirty talk(mainly because he's too busy whining and leading the two of you into your climaxes) and whenever he attempts to do so, he ends up sputtering and whining

he should be mad, but he can't bring himself to get angry at you when you're laughing to your heart's content, you're laughing, and satoru might've fell inlove even more

something about the fits of giggles escaping you, your contagious smile, and your shoulders moving as you continued laughing at something he said all the while his fingers were deep inside you

damn, did he really suck at dirty talk?

"why are you laughing?" he croaked out, letting out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding as his eyebrows furrowed, a frown forming in his face

"what—wha" a wheeze "what did you just say?" a snort, then a tear slipping out of your eye as you doubled over to continue laughing

he pouts, staring at you laugh and mock him. "I'm not repeating myself, not when you're laughing at me" he bitterly spoke, for a moment, he forgot what he really said that caused you to ridicule him.

damn you, damn your smile, damn your laugh, just—damn you

"you think ryomen's my boyfriend?"

"he isn't?"

another bundle of laughs, you were snorting at this point, your laughter filling satoru's dorm, and satoru can only wish for it to last, for it to surround the dorm for the rest of his life, maybe even his future house, with you. maybe he'll have to kidnap you just to make his wishes come true.

"he's– oh my gosh i can't— hold on my stomach hurts" you cackled, a hand placed on your side. satoru only scowls, as if remembering two of his fingers were still buried inside you—he curls them up, hitting the spongy spot effortlessly—making you stop laughing temporarily

"motherfu—"

"tell me who he is, or I'm kicking you out of my dorm, dry, and without your undergarment" he threatened. you only rolled your eyes, straightening up to press your back into the wall before speaking

"he's my cousin"

"yeah right as if i'd—" satoru scoffs, before the engines in his brain started to work "what? cousin?"

"yeah dumbass"

satoru stares at you dead in the eyes, trying to see if you're joking, or if you're lying. but you weren't. satoru blinks, once, twice.

"he's your cousin?"

"he's my cousin" you let out a laugh, stopping when satoru curls his finger again. you grabbed his wrist, glaring at him above your eyelashes

"so you're not dating him?"

"do you want me to? because that would be fucked up"

"you and that mouth" satoru mutters, returning a glare as he bit his lower lip "how can i make sure you're not lying?"

"you don't have to, we're not even dating, so why does it worry you that I'm living with my not-yet-proven-cousin-just-because-you-said-so?"

"i can change that"

__________________________________

mdni banner from @cafekitsune!

[emmatgc]

Thomas Shelby "IN LOVE"

There's a lot of debate. A lot of doubts. A lot of craziness as to who Tommy love the most and such. Not to be mean but, love is relative and subjective. No easy way. It can be platonic, sexual, familial , romantic, friendly, transaction, and of course, soul mates. Im sure you reading this, you have your girl and pick for Tommy. Good. So that by the end of this post, you might double check your choice.

How do you know Tommy is in love?

He pauses at the sight of her

His eyes never leave her

She is the only one that exists in a crowd there is only her

Curiosity gets the best of him

He becomes soft, pissed off but still soft

He asks her to dance.

Smiles and flirts all damn time with ger

The mere presence of her, he is breathless

The world stops if she is there

He sighs endlessly towards her

He is a jerk but a jerk that can change his mind if its her

He plays a game, he makes the rules but breaks the rules for her

He sold her to Kimber, yet didn't want her, too. He was clearly falling, hard.

Didn't want any man to touch her obviously, too.

He sought her company.

Always wants to be near her, no matter what.

He knows something is off but he is not blinded, rather he chose to go blind.

Why? His ideal girl is real.

A woman of character and substance

She is here. She is her.

Yet, he feels undeserving. As it should be.

But fate is funny.

A copper. A spy. An enemy. An elite.

He fell in love with their enemy. The very people he hates the most.

He saw her. She saw him.

She changed his mind, he didn't mind.

Until its all over the 1st time.

She got caught. He was empty handed but they had already made love.

First time, he already meant forever.

"You waiting home for, what time do you call this?" Sort of thing

She tried to tell him but he was more concerned of her leaving.

She was after all his soldiers minute.

She left. He let her go.

Too hurt to admit.

To prideful to admit defeat.

But its too late. In love he was, guilty as charged.

A very twisted and conflicted man but in a snap, never in question his love towards her.

See, Tommy is damaged goods. Long before the war, he was already heartbroken.

Greta, his 1st love.

He settled after the war. A hero with PTSD. All down to the drain. Unmarried. Sullied. Stained. Ruined.

He kept going for his family. He loves his family.

But he was never loyal to them.

Never again with love he says so he continued with whores and business lovers.

Another love or loves, he tried.

Nobody is questioning how many girls or people Tommy loved.

He loves them in any form, size and yeah pockets.

Yet never once questioned, who Tommy was in love the most.

For the answer is crystal clear.

Two years passed, she returned.

Her letters were burnt but still he accepted it anyways.

He still knows where she live.

He f*cks whores, particularly his favorite whore to forget and convince himself, he has forgotten about her. The girl is obviously in love with her, they were friends but still pays her anyways.

Then, he stumbled upon a widow. A desperate one. Another woman with class. He thinks more than feels. A jackpot for business, and yes pleasure. Plus, somebody to take care of the horses!

Yet through it all, he named his horse in her honor.

He continues to be a manwhore and cannot stop thinking about her.

She got married.

That should be the end of it but no, not by a chance.

What was he thinking or waiting for, eh?

He was hoping.

Hoping its not the end of their love story.

At what expense though? to be the other guy?

He finally summoned the courage to call her. Respond to her letter like a toy soldier.

He was having a mood, after a f*uck while being in a "relationship" to the horse woman

But the 1st thing he did was call her.

He got through but not the voice he was hoping for.

He was jealous.

Tommy was speechless.

She called back.

He pauses in disbelief. He sighs, again.

He complains a bit its not a good time but doesn't want the call to end

They have to meet. He wants to meet, too.

The reunion happened.

He was ready for war to punish her for being married and leaving

He impressed her. Really gave her 3 whiskeys.

Pissed of her husband and her are trying for a baby

Thinking she came back for him

Only to ask her if he could see him again like a little puppy.

Got slapped but still so soft.

He can never be mad, she can never go wrong

He respected her so much.

Never once questioned her choices. He answers immediately to her. She talks. He listens. He even bought the lies, before. Sneaky barmaid.

I need you like water, his eyes says so. Full of lust, desire and love. Perfect combination.

At the derby, F*ck, im dying , i don't care about the baby to yes, we are getting married.

Love is a strange feeling for Tommy.

He felt it. Big time. This 2nd chance is a sign.

A wedding happened, full of enemies

A groom so tense its actually too funny.

Tommy who back hugs her, neck kisses her, not a care in the world.

Who lets the cavalry in, all by her design

For her. Because of her.

Honeymoon was a blast.

Tommy couldn't stop kissing, touching and making love to her.

He would die in her bed, I bet he prefers that way.

Tommy in love is like a poet.

So romantic and fragile.

Hence, it shouldn't be, they say.

She gave him a son.

They were perfect like the trinity.

He thought he could have it all.

She died by the very hands he tried to stop.

But death is only 1 thing for Tommy.

She never died in his mind heart and soul.

Still, he was in love with her.

Longs for her touch , scent and embrace

Married again, chaotic and miserable

So fuckin miserable.

He was never, ever the same.

The dead becomes his source for life

holding on to her, like she is still there

Never alone, he says.

Never alone.

He didn't move on because he doesn't want to.

Her huge portraits, enough to scare the new wife are actually symbols of his undying adoration.

Any new wife would feel insecure, as they should.

For a dead woman looms all over a super alive wife who cant even get close half as a husband should treat a wife.

Tommy should know better. But he doesn't.

He would always choose her in a heartbeat.

Men like Tommy rarely falls in love.

He is like a red tail fox.

1 mate forever.

How about, Greta?

Well, she died. But the biggest difference? he was able to move on from her.

That is why He found Grace and never looked back.

He didn't let her go.

Couldn't let her go.

Wouldn't let her go.

The world might end, but for Tommy, it ended anyway when Grace died.

Guilt or not , ghost or not, he will forever mourn her for he loves her truly and deeply.

Rewind, would you, reader.

Open your eyes.

Was your girl ever treated this way?

In Wuthering heights , its been said "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same".

They were the same.

Tommy was only in love once. He loved Greta but he was and will forever be in love with Grace. And the others? They had a purpose but it wasn't for a lifetime.

Grace is Tommy. Tommy is Grace.

That is the ultimate secret.

Thomas Michael Shelby.

He can love them all

But only with Grace, he was utterly, devastatingly, painfully, completely, deeply in love.

She stopped the shovels.

Never in question. Never in doubt.

Grace might be in heaven for sure. Tommy in hell.

But heck, they will make a way.

For them to be together once more.

[iamfandomcrazy]

Oneshots I will (hopefully) get to

Wednesday gets hurt and Tyler takes care of her

Dean gets in trouble

Wednesday spends the afternoon with the sheriff so they can "bond" as per a request by Tyler

Body swap AU

Wednesday has a baby shower

Wednesday is pregnant and, much to her horror, finds herself craving affection from Tyler more than usual

Wednesday and Tyler go to the first ultrasound for their baby

Wednesday and Tyler have to deal with the loss of their baby (by miscarriage)

AU where Tyler went into the army and surprises Wednesday when he comes back

Another Xavier bashing fic but with hyde!Tyler this time (but hyde doesn't really 'come out' it's just mentioned that he's a hyde)

Tyler and Donovan go on vacation and coincidentally, the Addams is there

Tyler and Donovan, plus Elvis, for X reason have to be out of their home for a while so Gomez and Morticia offer them a place to stay for a while

Wednesday secretly wearing Tyler's jacket (or something along those lines. I haven't fully figured it out yet)

AU where Wednesday can read minds

Based on the post by @therulerofallpotatos where Tyler takes his kids to the park, they want him to transform into hyde so they can play on him. Another kid joins and that happens to be Amanda Buckman's son. Chaos ensues

Joel stops by the Weathervane and sees Wednesday for the first time since camp

An idea from @pey0805 where Tyler is at the police station during parents weekend when Gomez gets arrested and he and Wednesday get flustered when Donovan suggests there's something going on between them

Wednesday and Tyler tell Dean they're going to have another baby (I like thinking of them just having Dean but I couldn't get this out of my head)

Little Dean is jealous of his new brother

Enid, Ajax and (unfortunately) Xavier spy on Wednesday and Tyler's first date

Tyler is in prison drowning in self loathing when he receives a visit from Wednesday

Wednesday helps Tyler watch over his little cousin

3 times Elvis ruined the mood

Wednesday and Tyler talk about their insecurities

Wednesday has had it up to here with the sheriff interrupting them so when he calls and interrupts their evening, she takes matters into her own hands and answers the call

An AU that takes place during their date when Wednesday says she's only doing it because she owes him and Tyler doesn't believe her (I got inspiration from the 'Wednesday and subtly thirsting' gifset)

The birth of Dean

Tyler feels like he's in the middle of an argument between his girlfriend and Thing when Thing shows up at school in his locker

AU where Wednesday is a witch and she takes Tyler on a late night ride on her broom

Based on an incorrect quote. Tyler takes Wednesday to the zoo

Crossover w/Legally Blonde. Elle is the lawyer for Tyler's trial

Wednesday gets a job at the Weathervane to show Tyler that what he does is easy when he teases her about not working

Wednesday insists that she isn't jealous so Tyler takes that as a challenge

Wednesday, Thing, Enid and Tyler watch Wednesday's memories from when she was at camp (a watching fanfiction sort of thing)

Donovan tags along when Tyler teaches Wednesday how to drive

Tyler's grandmother visits and embarrasses him in front of Wednesday

AU where Wednesday is a doctor and when Tyler is visiting Lucas in the hospital he sees her and knows he has to find a way to talk to her/get her attention. So he pretends to fall so she'll have to look him over. Only he actually hurts himself

Dean is now a teenager and really wants to ask out the girl in his class. The problem? It's Xavier daughter. Can the adults tolerate an evening together when Xavier's daughter (and him...reluctantly) attend dinner at the Galpin/Addams house?

Something for Halloween/Wysdaythe13th

So yeah....that's a lot lol I probably won't get to all of them but who knows how many I'll do

y'all know I got a lot of ideas lol

Edit: anything that's scratched out is what I've already done

[scoonsalicious]

OKAY I'M HERE. Sorry, I'm late. Funnily enough, we're on opposite sides of the world so your update time is waaaayyy too early in the morning for me so I usually read it when I wake up (shocking I know, digesting this traumatic but amazing masterpiece early in the morning) but since school has started up again and I have morning classes I haven't been able to. So do expect my reports to be a lil later than usual. ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

Let's start with Steve and Pocket. I totally forgot that both of them were under the influence during that time and while they did get a little frisky (I also find it so funny how Pocket doesn't have much of a reaction. it was all Steve. It was as if she already knew she could never orgasm with this man. like homegirl was dry during that I just know it) I'm glad they didn't go far and were able to actually realize how much of a mistake it would've been because not only for obvious reasons like that's your ex's best friend but also the intoxicated thing. It wouldn't have done any good to Poxket's mental state es; especially knowing Steve's feelings. But hey, he stopped it. Literally the bare minimum for any man but the bar currently in hell (looking at you Benson) so. Good on Steveioli.

Now with the heart-to-heart, I'm so glad Pocket was able to unload all that and actually have a good cry for once. And, for Steve, as much as I still find him kinda fishy (I still do think he has a hand in ruining their relationship, that he isn't as innocent or this knight and shining savior that he's showing. I just know Steve did something and pulled some strings so i don't trust him fully yet), he made some very good points. I do agree with what he said about Bentley. We can only really imagine what he went through with Hydra. And the point too where there are some parts Bison himself doesn't remember at all but his body and psyche do. We can sympathise and everything but we never truly understand it. Do I think Josiah is the only person who understands? I don't think so either. Not to discredit her experience or whatever but I don't think what she went through was entirely the same or close because I still do think she's still a spy got them (maybe that's me not liking her lol). But the fact is, she's the closest person who could understand, in Brennon's eyes anyway. Does that excuse everything he's done? Absolutely fucking not. But does that information change how I judge him? Of course. I still truly believe that there's more to this onion (because layers ha ha) than meets the eye. He still fucking fucked up and he still has so much work to do on himself before he can even have the chance to earn Pocket's trust again. But I can give him some grace, and understand that his mind probably wasn't in the best place at that time which led to bad decisions.

I saw some people claiming that Blair never truly loved Pocket, and while I can see why that seems to be the fact because he does have a shitty way of showing it, sometimes, we can't stop ourselves from hurting the people we love (to an extent obvs. if they cheat & are abusive & toxic etc. leave their ass. but again, in the context of the fic, it's definitely more complicated than that). That's just reality. But what truly matters is what we do after the fact. Not that it makes it okay, I'm not saying that at all. It's still not an excuse to hurt people and be a shitty person. What I mean is that not everything is as black & white as it seems. In this case, there's no such thing as 100% evil and 100% good (except Judas who has a special place in hell). These are flawed, broken, and complicated characters, and you the amazing writer has shown that greatly. So we should all take that into account instead of just saying this person is 100% wrong so he deserves to die, or This person is 100% right so I'm just going to support everything they're doing no matter the consequences even if it hurts other people. So I do think he truly and utterly loves Pocket with everything that he is, but when you've got someone who's out of his time, has so many issues, isn't in the best mental and emotional state, has been through so much trauma and has self-destructive tendencies, do we really think he knows what to do with such a powerful emotion? Better yet, he does love her, but in this case, it's just not enough. Love isn't the only thing that keeps a relationship healthy after all. But I will say, that love will also be the one that will push him to do better.

Now, with Mr. Bunana and his Audacity to barge onto Pocket like that. The hypocrisy is outstanding. Gold medal worthy. But then again, he did see them leave the party after basically humping each other on the dance floor, he did see Steve leave her bedroom and he did see Pocket in Steve's shirt. When you're already insecure as hell and have fucked up one too many times, I can't blame him for jumping to conclusions. I also can see how distraught he was though, and not to be mean, but he does kinda need this for him to wake the fuck up. And again, the audacity to cause a whole scene about it too as if he has any right. But, unpopular opinion, I don't see an asshole at all. I see a broken man who's spiraling out of control and is hitting rock bottom as we speak. He's grasping at straws, he has no idea what to do with himself, and he's lost everything, and for a man who's been at war for the last 70 years, what's the one thing he knows best? Fighting. So, he fights.

The toxic masculinity was so on point. When Pocket picked up the water I was cheering this whole time lmao. Absolute wild animals these men sometimes. She honestly should just have a spray bottle in hand, spray them when they act up. Also, that line about where's Steve hand was made me CACKLE. Like yes queen. They deserve to break each other's face a lil for thinking they can decide for Pocket and what she does with her body honestly.

Lastly, because goodness me this is long. We're off on this mission, and I really do share Tony's concerns (and he's so sweet and caring about Pocket. I'm glad he's by her side. Also can't wait to see how they met!) This mission is going to take a toll on Pocket more than she's going to expect. She's using this as a distraction with what's been going on recently, and that's not good. Because I don't think she fully realises the gravity of what she's about to go into. I'm thankful that Sam is there. But I just know, something about this mission is going to go so bad for Pocket. Maybe not physically, and the mission would end up a success, but mentally and emotionally? ESPECIALLY when she's already on a fragile state right now? Sigh. I won't like it, but shit about to hit all the fans.

Anyway. You're amazing as always. I always enjoy getting to pick at the details of your writing and it makes me giddy with excitement that I actually manage to nail some points hahaha. Keep doing what you're doing and don't forget to take care of yourself!

P.S. I love Sam and Pocket's friendship. I need more of them being best buds please and thanks.

— Jnon 🤍

Beloved Jnon, Please do not apologize for being "late!" It actually worked out in my favor, as I have been staying up too long into the night to respond to you, so this actually works well, because it's mid-day here and I actually got some sleep. Not enough, but I'm working on it lol. Reading Unwanted first thing in the morning sounds like a rough way to start your day! All the angst!

Yeah, Pocket had absolutely no reaction with Steve, lol. It was seriously all the MDMA, making her crave physical touch, and when she kind of came down more to herself and realized it was Steveoli who was doing the touching? Well, let's just say it was dryer than the Sahara down there, lol. Ah, the little details that don't make it into the finished work! I can confidently say though, that if Pocket hadn't stopped it, herself, Steve most definitely would not have. Steve needed to hear Pocket break down in front of him, to see how she was affected by all of this. It was a wakeup call for him, and it allowed me to say some of the stuff I wanted to say about Bucky's state of mind without having Bucky say it himself (because who could believe him?!?) In later chapters, we'll get some first-hand insight into what kind of experience Juggalo had with Hydra, herself, and how those experiences shaped her connection with Barnstormer (intentionally vague wording here). I so fucking love how you are on the same page with me re: Bucky's mental state and motivations. Fucking love it.

And he is 100% flawed in this fic. He's trying to navigate this new world he doesn't understand, with all these sexual and social rules he doesn't understand. And I'd like to take a moment to point out that, in my timeline, Bucky has maybe spent a fraction of the time in Wakanda that he does in the MCU. Like, right now, in the story, it's about 2019-ish, meaning our Bucket left Wakanda sometime in 2017, probably less than a year after the events of Civil War, meaning that our Bucky has not done NEARLY as much mental healing as Canon!Bucky. So, when Canon!Bucky tells Cap that he's a "semi-stable 100 year old man" in Infinity War (which I just rewatched last night for Unbroken research!), our Bucket is even less so.

Right now, if there's one thing he's absolutely sure of, it's that he loves Pocket. But you're right, love is not longer enough here. Not for the two of them, not any more. Pocket's already realized that, and Bucket's just starting to.

Let's talk Bucky Barnes and the Audacity of this Bitch! When he barged into Pocket's room to accuse her of sleeping with Steve, he definitely wasn't thinking about what he'd done. He was thinking about confronting evidence of the worst thing he could imagine. It was one thing for him to conjure up the idea in his head, but it's driving him absolutely crazy to see physical evidence of it with his own eyes (even if its just circumstantial physical evidence!). I want to say, though, that even after he thought they slept together after her party, HE DID NOT go running to Jackrabbit for comfort-- I think that's progress! :D Right now, all he knows is how to fight, and how to hurt-- himself, and other people. It's all he's done for 75 years. Pocket was beyond livid over the two of them fighting about her, without really seeming to care about her-- just who got access to her body. Girl lived that life too long as a child; she was done with it long ago. I do like to imagine, though, that after she and Sam left, Bucky and Steve started fighting again, but this time they're all wet from being dowsed in water, so their shirts are sticking to them, and the fight is very homoerotic.... Finally, Tony's concerns for Pocket are very, very valid. He's kind of forcing her to regress, and he's really scared about what that might do to her mentally. Not to mention, she's putting herself in a dangerous position where women are being kidnapped and trafficked. He's got the utmost faith in her; it's just everyone else he doesn't trust. I love getting your messages, I love discussing the story with you! It makes me so happy! I promise there's one more good Sam/Pocket scene!

[depressed-teacup-inc]

It’s “assassinate Nino’s character” hours

Hey so you know how miraculous does this thing where it will release a whole bunch of episodes except one super fast, and usually the one unreleased episode holds important info for the plot or has something upsetting happen in it?

So this is this episode, they ruined Nino again

Ok first of all, before y’all ask, I’m not upset at Nino for saying that he and Alya used to be carapace and Rena Rouge. Literally everyone but Ladybug and Chat Noir were revealing identities AND LITERALLY ALIX INFORMED THE ENTIRE CLASS THAT SHE WAS LEAVING TO BE A SUPERHERO, so it’s fine that he’s talking about it, because frankly, if everyone in fucking Paris can know someone’s hero identity and still have them be a hero, then the identity rule doesn’t fucking matter and they should MOVE THE FUCK ON FROM THIS PLOT

Also the audacity of these two for getting angry at Nino telling Adrien his identity after he was already caught by Hawkmoth, WHEN MARINETTE AKA LADYBUG AKA THE ENFORCER OF EVERYTHING IDENTITY RULE REVEALED HERSELF TO ALYA

But I digress moving on~

I’m upset at Nino (or well. The plot assassinating Nino’s character for conflict) because he legit forced all his friends to try to akumatize someone he already knows is volatile and can hurt his friends, and said this to Adrien (which hey might be true ngl, but still dude, dick fucking move)

I understand that the show needed a conflict for this episode and a way to “uncover” how Monarch grants powers (which btw why the fuck was it magic lightning?! They could’ve literally just shown the akuma with an accent color corresponding to a miraculous and say he’s transferring powers using the butterfly miraculous, aka THE MIRACULOUS OF TRANSMISSION?! Literally that’s what they should’ve done in the first place with season 5 but I digress) but Nino seriously did not need to be such a cunt for this episode to work? Nino did not need to involve Adrien in this knowing he would get in trouble, or he could’ve tried to track all the parents, because parent-teacher conferences are already a big stress, and then when Gabriel catches them, he’d be “mad”.

Which speaking of, before I hear anyone blame Lila for why that plan didn’t fucking work, LILA DOES NOT KNOW GABRIEL IS MONARCH! The plan didn’t work because it was idiotic, and considering how her character is constantly made worse and worse and everyone is made dumber and dumber just make marinette look like a beautiful innocent victim in comparison(they reset the characters again, Adrien and Alya are not suspicious at all), I’m less angry at her and more tired of the writing of the show. She didn’t purposely say it to help monarch, but the show will just claim she did because apparently she’s worse then the terrorist now (and make her a spy for Monarch on the resistance, and again “marinette is always right because she’s the best and people should always listen to her”)

Everything else this episode was more or less alright or annoying, the rings are still idiotic and don’t make sense, Marinette stop making everything about yourself and acting high and mighty, YOU WERE LITERALLY THE FIRST PERSON VOTING FOR THIS PLAN, DON’T GO AND LECTURE NINO LIKE YOU WEREN’T A PART OF THIS! And also not everything is about your love life, Adrien got in trouble because you encouraged an idiotic plan that would hurt him, this has nothing to do with your “love”

Also Gabriel… fuck I’m scared of what the show is gonna do.

This episode finally addresses why Gabriel has been suddenly a housewife, but it still doesn’t make sense???? Like Gabriel says that the reason he wants to have more meals and quality time spent with Adrien is because he feels bad for neglecting him, and wants to make things better again, But when Adrien mentioned not liking the alliance, Gabriel half threatened him? Saying “hey if you want to go to how things used to be if you’re so unhappy with my invention, be my guest” like god I don’t trust you

And like? I still don’t understand Gabriel’s motive? Like I think they tried to address that with Passion saying it has something to do with him getting cataclysmed??? But what would that have to do with anything? Gabe finally acknowledged the inevitability of death and wants to be nice?

And the thing is, that implies that either:

A. This is some sort of big manipulative plan we don’t understand yet, or…

B. Gabriel, after what happened in this show, is getting a redemption arc.

And I swear to god. I already mentioned my fear of the show trying to redeem him and claim he’s innocent and really just did all of this for his family, but considering that fact he’s an actual terrorist that tried to shoot a missile in New York, and that he gets sidetracked from saving Emilie to just hunting all the miraculous and being a generic villain??

Like bro you had the chance to maybe redeem him for his actions in season 2, but now he’s just a bad abusive guy that ignored and abused and manipulated his son for the sake of power, AND IF THE SHOW IS TRYING TI WRITE OFF WHAT HE DID LIKE THEY DID TO JAGGED AND HAVE EVERYONE FORGIVE HIM I WILL START A MOTHERFUCKING RIOT (I STILL DON’T FORGIVE JAGGED)

But yeah that’s the episode, despite everything, I’m glad Adrien has the illusion of a normal family for one second.

[desmondkane-of-ao3-fame]

So I know you already technically did something like this but… Willow has a nightmare from when she was the collectors puppet, and she’s not handling it well. Guess whose gonna have to comfort her about it?

If I may, I’d like to use this as a way to showcase how both girls, as adults living together, handle this scenario. Because Skara would have plenty of reason to have nightmares herself.

Skara’s nightmares are sporadic, but they’ll be really bad when they happen. Sometimes it’s her being 15 again, working with Barcus and Matt to find supplies, before getting attacked and collected by drones. Sometimes it’s about ‘Miki,’ and being under Boscha’s thumbs, forced to endure harsh punishments for insubordination. And sometimes it’s about feeling guilty, where she imagines a collected pair of Amelia and Cat blaming her for not being out in the front lines, blaming her for why they spent two months in a horrific internal prison because of a child god. It doesn’t matter that the real Cat and Amelia have assured her none of this is her fault; her brain will think it was anyway and punish her accordingly.

But the worst nightmares are about her as an adult. Where she’s teaching her Baby Class, and in the middle of story time, a Collector drone smashes through the window. Skara tries to stop them, but an EC Scout tackles her to the ground. And all Skara can do is watch in horror as her class is collected, turned into puppets and dragged away to some stupid crown castle and-

Skara wakes up in tears from these nightmares, sometimes sobbing in her sleep and waking her wife Willow, who gently shakes her awake. Skara gets up, but she cant really do anything but continue crying. When this happens, Willow knows exactly what to do: Cuddling her Skary, she summons Clover to bring her the Emergency I-Scream in the freezer. Starberry flavored, Skara’s favorite. When Clover arrives, Skara chuckles and takes a new spoonfuls, calming down, before curling into Willow and addressing her nightmare. Willow simply listens, before taking Skara’s hand, squeezing it, and giving her knuckles a lil’ kiss. She promises Skara that she’s safe, that the Collector’s good now, and wouldn’t hurt her and their friends. She assures her that none of what happened at New Hexside was her fault, that she and the others were scared children, not knowing how to handle the end of the world any other way. Skara lays her head on Willow’s chest, using her wife’s heartbeat to ground her in reality. Willow cuddles her, holding her protectively, arms around her waist as she playfully threatens all the nightmares that may come for her! Skara gets one last smile out of that, before falling into a deep, lovely sleep, complete with a dream about her awesome wife being awesome.

Willow, however, has her own nightmares. Like Skara with Amelia and Cat, Willow imagines her dad, collected, begging to know why she didn’t save him. She imagines herself barely missing the Human World portal, the Collector grabbing her and turning her into a puppet. She imagines the empty void she felt trapped in when the Collector transformed her, and she starts to panic, feeling trapped and too weak to escape.

Worst, she imagines herself seeing Skara, trying to flee a Collector spy, before tripping and being collected. Shes able to stop the drone, but she can’t save her wife. She calls out to help, summons all her magic, but nothing turns her Skary back. Willow just the puppet of the woman she loves in her arms and cries tears of grief, rage, and sorrow.

Skara recognizes these nightmares because they’re the only time she wakes up to her nose being tickled by a vine. When she opens her eyes, she turns to see that a collection of plants from around the house are reaching out for a thrashing, pleasing Willow, muttering about how she can’t do it, she can’t stop this, she can’t save them.

Knowing that her wife is in pain, Skara summons her harp to calm her, to soothe her. She plays lullaby music she’ll play for her Baby Classes nap time, with the occasional flourishes to make the music more Willow’s style. As she plays, the vines retreat, Willow turns and tosses less, and soon enough she opens her eyes, first glowing green, then simply their normal, beautiful emerald color.

She clutches onto Skara, holding onto her whole world. She doesn’t always cry when she does. Sometimes she just needs to be anchored back in reality. But sometimes she needs a good, long cry, and that’s where Skara just holds her sobbing wife, feeling pained and guilty she can’t take this hurt away from her. All she can do is assure her that they’re safe, that Willow is safe, that Skara is safe, that everything is going to be ok.

Eventually Willow is able to calm herself enough that she lets go, pulling away, and thanking Skara for being there for her. Her wife nods, asking if she has any requests for her to play. Willow chooses something silly and simple, like Twinkle Twinkle Wailing Star, which Skara is happy to play for her. Willow falls asleep to Skara’s music. Skara then disappears her harp, before cuddling her wife and gently falling asleep alongside her.

[ineversayitoutloud]

Past.

When she lost her family in a car crash, she went absolutely bonkers. When negative thought win over and you start feeling absolutely numb, brain doesn’t react to anything. To pain, to old injuries, nothing bothers you anymore.

First she was trying to feel that pain by going to kickboxing class. Her knuckles were bloody, pure meat and bones, her body was covered in bruises. Her trainer refused putting her with big guys who don’t know when to stop in spairing but she was persistent. Every thud of her body being thrown on the floor would echo from conceete walls and floor and he can swear he heard her ribs crack multiple times.

First time going to emergency was hell. Police showed up called by her young doc questioned the trainer and her for 2 hours, giving up after she told them repeatedly that it wasn’t a crime to be so beat up during “competitions”. After third and forth visit doc just silently meets us at ER and treats her without questions.

Problems came up when bills started pilling up.

She started hustling by beating up people whoever would hire her.

The sudden curve of her life shifted with the job requiring finding a man who she knew nothing about. It was just a job.

She broke into his fancy apartment and attacked him when he least expected but what she didn’t expect from him is being trained to this type of situations. When he was done with her, she had broken wrist and arm and was laying consciousness on his floor.

Next time she woke up in an empty parking lot or unfinished construction site. So it seemed.

She was surrounded by men in shadows, in the darkness she could only sew a man sitting on the chair in front of hee but couldn’t see hus face. Body was screaming in pain but she was welcoming it, that’s what she wanted to feel after all.

The guy who was her job was standing beside the man in the chair.

“Well, I guess I found my death”

After that it seemed like hours of interrogation, she lost her conscience again. At this point it was a slow death. Her breath was shallow, multiple cuts all over her body were bleeding on the concrete, broken bones were buzzing.

Man in the chair was curious. He already read her file that hus men gathered for him. She did not care of the single thing in her life, just waisting away days, waiting for something that he assumed was death. Knowing that it wasn’t his competitors who hired this sloppy job of trying to beat up his right hand, he made a decision right there after finishing reading through her file. He ordered wiping her existence off the earth. Connections were able to destroy even a copy of newspaper in NYT library mentioning car crash she lost everything in. She was noone now. And she would become his tool.

He offered her a life purpose. Something to do. Taking care of her for work she would do for him.

After month of training, beatings and pounds of drugs, she was the best creation he ever made. Her body was covered in scars, mind was sharper than a professional spy, character chiseled to a job. She earned respect from his men, she replaced his right hand and was doing everything he asks. She was a perfect daughter he never happened to have.

She controlled his clubs, bars, restaurants and hotels in the day time and at night she would hunt stupid people who decided to cross his family’s path.

They became her new family and her life purpose.

When mind is suffering, it finds its comfort in completely random things that forever etched in your memory. Your body recognizes it and reacts to it. She found her comfort in this crime family, living on edge, knowing she can be dead at any time. She found her life purpose in helping and caring for the business of a man who almost killed her. No matter how fucked up it is, her mind didn’t see it that way anymore.

~

Today’s job is a mix of my day work and night work. Slizzy hotel manager was brave enough to steal from hotel’s account. It’s a tiny hiccup and didn’t hurt income one bit. But if a small rat like this has an audacity to do that, others would follow. So he needed a lesson. I usually don’t do this in a day light but my day off was craving to deal with it right away after I received a call from out accountant.

When I stepped to the manager’s office after I arrived at the hotel, I looked around at the bookshelves full of binders and stacks of papers.

- I am not excepting visitors right now if you could talk to receptionist…

He finally lifts his head up and shuts up right away. I slowly move my gaze his direction and scowl smile at him.

- Miss A., I didn’t know you are visiting today…, his gaze frantically moves to the wall where the ugly modern copycat of mona lisa was hanging.

It’s that easy with stupid people. In a panic or emergency, they look for the most treasured part of the room. Could be a person, could be something materialistic like in this case. I move toward the wall and stand in front of it. One of mona lisa’s eyes had a holein it. I toss the painting over my shoulder and pick up the hidden camera, putting it in my pocket.

-Welp, talk.

-about what miss?

I never liked this guy since I first met him. What prickles me the most is how he consistently calls me by “miss”.

Now I am running out of patience.

- nothing to report?

I yank him actoss the table by his tie. His eyes buldge out. I wrap his tie around his neck and start pulling it, watching neck skin turning red. He catches my wrists and scratches at them trying to stop me from cutting off his oxygen.

-I…I am sorry…I will return all money back, I owe some people, I had to find the money, I promise I return everything back.

- your gambling problem shouldn’t affect my day off with the report of you taking what belongs to me. You could have asked politely before doing something that stupid. And also…isn’t your monthly paycheck being increased with all the tips you are taken away from my dear cleaners and waitresses?

He opens his mouth for another excuse to come out but I don’t wait. I grab him by his hair and yank him through the table. Casually walking past the back kitchen dragging him behind me, I give a nod to a chef who gives me a warm smile. I like him but I still see terror in his eyes. I walk to the back door and two security guys open it for me following behind as I walk through.

- A, let me take care of him for you.

- hands off, this was my day off ruined.

Security guy nods and steps to the side. The road is wet from the rain last night. I toss the manager and his body bangs loudly against the metal garbage suite.

- you know what’s more interesting? I heard you harassed one of my girls. The little camera I took must have capture it in perfect quality. Should I cut off that dick of yours that you can’t help but think with?

Manager wines and tries to get up. I toss the camera to one of security guys.

- report to police please. Tip them off that they can find this guy at the 36 exit on 401.

Guys leave. I look at the manager who stares at me now with angry eyes.

-oh? Got something to say?

-little bitch asked for it, she basically begged me to fuck h…

I kick him in the face with my boot, his body landing on the puddle. It was a light kick, his jaw unfortunately has to be in tact to talk to the police. But judging the way he banged his head, seems like he lost consciousness. I get the zip tie from my back pocket and tie his hands together. After looking at his unconscious body, I think for a second and undo his belt and push his pants down to his ankles. Of course they are boxers.

There is a noise behind me, someone is running towards the door. I turn around and see Meagan.

Her eyes are full of tears.

- he shouldn’t be alive! Why are you keeping him alive?!

-I am not making my hands dirty because of him. Not worth it, I shrug.

-he deserves it after what be did to me! Police won’t do anything!

I take him by his ankle and start walking towards my parked camaro.

-he will get what he deserves. Definitely not death though, he is too small for that.

She charges at me. I catch her wrist that almost lands on my back. She is fully wailing now. Somebody peaks out of the door. Second security guy. Grabbing by her shoulder I guide her towards the door handing her off to him.

Through hiccups and tears she manages to say

-Thank you A. Thank you…

I turn around and walk towards my car again. Tossing manager’s body in my trunk, I get to driver’s seat.

- Now, let’s get you delivered.

[wandaromanova]

can i request wandanat x r? r wants to propose to wandanat and has been sneaking around to hide her plans of proposal. wandanat thinks r is cheating and maybe leaves her? you decide but angst please and i just love all your work i can't stop re reading them💕

Ruined

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: cussing, arguing, very slight violence, cheating allegations

A/N: hi! thank you for your request! im flattered to know that you love and re read my work! i may or may not have intentionally left this on a cliffhanger whoops 🤭 <3

Ruined | Regret

Word Count: 1.8K | masterlist

(gif is not mine)

You had first met Wanda and Natasha when you were tasked with being the Avengers’ liaison. You were tasked to handpick missions that you believed required the attention of the heroes and assigned team members onto those missions.

You worked very closely with the team, you even lived with them in the compound for convenience. In the time spent working for them, you had grown super close to everyone; most especially Nat and Wanda.

It first started off with the pair going into your office, always asking for missions. You had found it odd considering they never took a break. You didn’t understand why they’d seek out missions when they were clearly exhausted. You figured that maybe they just loved helping people so much that they got excited and anxious for missions, but little did you know what their true intentions were.

They wanted to spend time with you. They wanted to observe you close up and not across a conference table. They wanted to know everything there was to know about you. As creepy as it was, they wanted to get close enough to know what you smelt like. They wanted to know what your lips tasted like. They wanted the relationship with you to surpass professionalism.

Eventually, the two Avengers stopped asking for missions when they came in; they just went to your office for the sake of going there. They’d bring you various lunches every single day and shower you with small compliments.

You’d brushed it off as the women being very good friends that just so happened to be flirts. You were wrong. They were interested in you, in the same way you were in them. You couldn’t help but admire the two beautiful women.

Their green eyes, fit bodies, and kind smiles were a recipe for disaster, in the best way possible. With one look, you’d drop to your knees and do whatever they wanted. They just had to say the word and you would do it, no hesitation. Yeah, it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it’s painfully and embarrassingly true.

Over the course of time, you had grown closer to Wanda and Nat. Your daily lunches turned into daily movie nights and dinners too. You saw them all the time and you didn’t mind it one bit.

They finally asked you out after a year of spending time with and getting closer to you. It was safe to say, you instantly agreed with a smile on your face as you let out an, “of course! fucking finally!”

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

Now, you had been dating the two women for five years. Yeah, it’s been a long ass time, but it still wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to spend forever with Wanda and Nat.

You wanted to get an actual house in the suburbs together. Not an apartment in the middle of New York, but a place you could call home. You craved the domesticity of it all.

You wanted to settle down and have kids with them somehow; whether it be by adoption or via surrogate. You just wanted to have a family of your own with the two woman you loved more than anyone or anything in the universe.

So, you’ve been sneaking around trying to keep your secret, well… a secret. You were planning on proposing to your girlfriends. Yes, this was a very huge step in a relationship, but you felt as though it was the right time. You guys had been together for five years! You were practically married to them already!

You would sneak off suddenly during your usual movie nights with Wanda and Nat or before breakfast to go and meet with different jewelers. You didn’t want to go into a store and buy their rings. That was not an option in the slightest. They were special and deserved special rings. They needed rings that were as unique and one of a kind as they were. It’s what Wanda and Nat deserved.

So, you were constantly leaving, whether it be early in the morning or the late hours of the night, on the search for someone who could make your ideas for their rings, a reality. You would hide your phone from Wanda and Nat’s view and even changed your passcode in order to prevent them from finding out. You’d face your phone down whenever you left it in a room with the pair, as well.

Unfortunately, in your excitement of what was to come, you didn’t realize how suspicious your behavior had been. You figured that you were being pretty discreet, coming up with pretty believable excuses. You even had some of the team help you with your lies, since you let them know what you had planned.

However, you forgot you were dating a world class spy and a witch. You were wrong, obviously. As each day passed, your girlfriends worried and assumed the worst. They let their minds spiral and searched for worst case scenarios. The worst one of all seeming the most likely; infidelity. They came to the conclusion that you were cheating on them.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

Natasha and Wanda cried to one another on one of the nights you bolted off and zoomed out of the apartment with a lame excuse.

Wanda sat on the couch as Nat held her in her arms. They both had tears cascading down their faces as their thoughts were plagued by you; by your supposed betrayal.

“How? How could she do this to us? After everything we’ve been through? She’s goes and cheats on us?” Wanda spoke brokenly as she released a sob. Natasha pulled Wanda closer, the Sokovian woman placing her head in the crook of Nat’s neck.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know, Wanda. All I know is, this can’t go on any longer.” Natasha spoke, trying to keep her voice steady, but her voice failed her. She came out shaky as the sadness and hurt seeped in. You had betrayed them, or so they thought.

They sat there in the same position, waiting for your return. Finally, four hours later. You had come back to the apartment.

You were ecstatic as you made your way up to the front door. You finally found a jeweler that could make the perfect rings for Wanda and Nat! You couldn’t wait to get on one knee and present the rings to the two women who would forever hold your heart. You were over the moon excited right now.

However, your joy was quickly wiped away the second you stepped foot into the apartment. You took in the sight of Wanda and Natasha on the couch, staring at you with dried and fresh tears on their faces. You instantly shut the door and tossed your keys onto the counter as you rushed towards your girlfriends worriedly.

“Nat, Wands, what’s wrong loves?” You asked as you approached them, but Natasha abruptly stood up before you could get too close.

“Don’t you take another fucking step!” Nat snapped at you, and you stumbled backwards a little, in total shock. Your concern increased as you looked between the fuming redhead and the heartbroken looking brunette.

“Did something happen? What’s wrong?” You were so confused and desperately wanted to comfort your girlfriends. You don’t recall doing anything that could anger and upset them this much.

“Yeah, something happened. Our girlfriend is a fucking pathetic, cheating ass bitch who can’t keep it in her pants.” Natasha spoke with venom dripping from her tone. You literally let out a gasp, her words physically hurting you.

“What the hell are you talking about? I’m not cheating on you guys! I love you both more than you guys could even imagine!” You raised your voice, getting frustrated with the situation.

Wanda suddenly stood up and stuck beside Nat. She stared at you with anger clouding her sadness now.

“You’re not cheating on us? Then why the hell have you been running off at weird hours of the day? Why have you been hiding your phone from us?” Wanda began to fire a bunch of questions towards you.

You froze in your place. The answers to their questions weren’t what they thought they would be. The true answers were the complete opposite of cheating, you were acting weird because you were planning on proposing! But you couldn’t tell them that!

You stood silently as the two women stared at you, breathing heavily. They took your silence as confirmation of their suspicions.

“We fucking knew it. You’re a fucking joke, Y/N. Were we not enough for you? Was two women not enough for you?” Wanda inched her way towards you, eyes glowing red.

You backed away, not in fear, but in sadness. You really wished you could tell them the real reasons behind your behavior, but you couldn’t without blowing up your surprise.

“Did you really think you could go behind our backs without us noticing?” Wanda continued to stalk towards you, like she was about to murder you.

“I swear to you both, I would never, ever, cheat on you guys. You’re both more than enough for me. You’re my home, I’d never jeopardize that.” You tried to convince your girlfriends to believe you, but they weren’t having it.

“Stop lying to us!” Wanda screamed out as she sent you flying back with a scarlet colored blast as she used her powers on you. Your back connected with the front door as you groaned. That was going to be a huge bruise later, for sure.

“I’m not lying. When have I ever lied to you both, huh? Why the fuck would I start now?” You asked exasperatedly as you stood up slowly. You cringed at the pain radiating from your back.

“And here you go again, more lies coming out of your slutty mouth. The fucking nerve you have, Why don’t you go and fuck whoever you’ve been seeing and leave us alone?” Natasha spoke as she moved forward, placing her hand firmly on Wanda’s waist.

Before you even have the chance to speak, Wanda opened the door with her powers and tossed you out of the apartment. She abruptly slammed the door in your face. Wanda and Nat’s angry, pain-filled faces and scarlet colored magic being the last things you saw before the door blocked your vision with a harsh slam.

You sat on the ground in front of the door in shock. They thought you were cheating on them. They didn’t want anything do with you now. What the fuck were you supposed to do now? What did this mean for your proposal? Should you cancel on the jeweler? Or should you hold out hope and pray that they’ll hear you out eventually?

All you did know was that your proposal had been ruined regardless. Whether you told them about your plans or not, the moment was doomed the minute they began to suspect cheating.

Withholding the information from them, caused them to push you away. But now that you look at it, if you had just told them about the proposal, you’d at least be in their arms right now and not on the floor of your apartment complex hallway with tears streaming down your face.

You were at a loss, and you didn’t know if you could gain back the trust of the women you loved.

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

join my taglist!

taglist: @wvnda-maximoff @everybodyhateserin @coconauwater @mindofwesley @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @d14n4ol @marrymemcgrath @olsensnpm @lesbiamelia @marvelwomen-simp @daenerys713 @fayhar @ymzki-haruki @peggycarter-steverogers @unstable-sapphic-hoe @q-hearts @lenissa @hallecarey1 @blackbird06 @prentisshoe @tquick99 @levram @frenchpolarbears @xxromanoffxx @madamevirgo @hopendeath @romanoffprint @hagridsmomma @mrsromanoff @mrs-avenger3000 @unknown5437 @acertainredhead @b-5by5 @midgardianweasley @romanovaslut

[heejayy]

Tongue Tied

Warnings: reader is older than Niki, love confession, first kiss (cheek kiss), slight swearing

Genre: fluff!!!

Pairing: Nishimura Riki x Reader

Wc: 971

a/n: listen to Tongue Tied by - Grouplove and also happy new year ❤️❤️

“Dude are you dumb or are you dumb she definitely has a crush on you” his best friend Sunoo tried to coax the younger one into asking you out, but Niki didn’t want to take the chance of losing you as his best friend by confessing his feelings to you.

“Nah you’re trippin’ there’s no way she actually likes me she just very friendly plus she older than me— it’s never happen just forget it” he sighed continuing to push his growing feelings deeper down trying to convince himself they’re not there. And yes you slightly a few months older than him maybe pushing a year, but that didn’t stop you from catching feeling for the younger one. He was charming, sweet, funny and not to mention handsome.

Niki pouted as he picked at the grass aggressively, he watched you sitting on the school steps giggling and laughing with his upper class-man. Sangwon. The boy that makes every girl swoon over him. He plays the guitar, has a soft sweet singing voice and so respectful and nice it almost seems fake. Niki couldn’t help but slightly envy him, he wants to be the only one who makes you smile that big and bright.

“All I’m saying is it won’t hurt to ask OR tell her how you feel” Sunoo shrugged grabbing his backpack getting ready to leave. He patted the younger boys head as it hung low with fear of rejection running rampant through his mind.

“just- oh well here she comes now. Here’s your chance bud, I’ll see you around” Niki’s head snapped up before he could stop Sunoo from leaving he had already disappeared and that’s when he saw you walking over with that pretty bright smile spread across your face. He loved seeing that smile.

“Wassup lil man” you greeted taking a seat besides him on the grass. He chuckles at the nickname you gave him which is ironic because this kid is far from little. “y/n you gotta stop calling me that” he lying he doesn’t want you to stop.

“No way loser!” you giggled ruffling his hair. He whined desperately tried shooing you away but failed.

“Ugh I’m pushing 6’2 and stop that you’re messing up my hair” and again it’s not liked he cared he adored when you two had physical touch.

“niki you’re 6 foot even quit lying!” you snorted playfully smacking his shoulder. He let out a groan running his hands through his hair. As you’re giggling died down you watched him with big doe eyes struggling to fix his hair and without out you knowing he caught you staring which made him slightly nervous. He cleared his throat pulling you out of your trance. You nervously looked around the courtyard pretending to be interested in students laying in the grass studying.

“So—” Niki started “how was your day?” He mentally face palmed at such a basic question.

“It was alright but better now since I’m hanging out with my bestie” you chuckled shoulder bumping him.

“How was yours?” You repeated his question.

“It was ok” he shrugged looking around. You two set in comfortable silence for a few minutes when your phone buzzed with a text from Sunoo.

‘Will you just ask him out already you loser’

You scrunched your eyebrow looking around and spotted Sunoo spying from behind a tree. You rolled you’re eyes responding with

‘Stop being a stalker’

He responded with a middle finger and blocked your number. Just petty.

“noona I have to tell you something” Niki spoke up catching your attention.

“Yes doll what it is?” you asked smiling. That nickname made Niki’s cheeks heat up.

“Well— can you uh tu-turn around I can’t say this looking into your eyes” you looked at him puzzled and worried but obeyed. He took a deep breath and began talking.

“Well for starters…I think you’re the most beautiful person ever— you have such a unique and loving personality. Y-you’re selfless, bold and all around high spirited. You might be quiet but you don’t take shit from any one,” you chuckled a bit at that part “You make me feels things I’ve never felt before. Good things….when i’m around you my heart picks up speed, i start to stutter and I get really nervous” He paused and thinking about what to say next.

“What- what I’m trying to say is I like you and I know I’m younger and you are fond of older guys but I really really would love it if you would give me a chance” you blinked turning around. You were a little teary eyed and not because you were sad but happy. No one has ever said such beautiful things to you before.

“Niki— I don’t know what to say” he gave you a tight lip smiled taking his index finger and wiping your tears before they dropped.

“Say you’ll give me a chance?” His eyes were filled with so much hope and wonder you couldn’t say no and plus you liked him too so fuck it.

“Of course niki” he gripped his chest letting out a breath of air.

“Holy shit! I thought you were going to say no, thank god you didn’t cause my heart would’ve sunk to my ass” you busted out in a fit of laughter.

“Niki what the hell?” He giggled looking down at you as you leaned on his shoulder laughing. He was so elated you accepted his confession. Before he knew it he leaned down placing a sweet small kiss on your cheek. You smile fell and you let out a small unexpected gasp.

“You’re so cute!” He cooed pinching your cheek smiling at you.

©heejayy 2021 — any reposts or translations of my works are strictly prohibited unless granted permission.

[farfromstrange]

Foreigner's God: Chapter 4

Main Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x OFC

Chapter Summary: It's time for the legendary Stark Party to turn some heads - and Tony does, just not in the way he's supposed to. Once again Eliza has to fix his mess, though this time it seems there is no space for rehabilitation.

Warnings: shit-ton of angst, trauma, panic attack, alcohol consumption, this almost made me cry writing it and it's not going to get any better from here on

Word Count: 19k

Read Chapter four: "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" here on AO3!

Got back safe. See you tonight! Can't wait.

received 4:23.

This is Matt, by the way. 

received 4:23.

Thank you :) See you tonight x

sent 4:24, read 4:24.

“What’s got you so excited?” Pepper asked from behind the chair Eliza sat on. 

She stopped giggling at her phone screen and looked up at the woman, her neck bent at an uncomfortable angle. “Nothing,” she claimed. “Just a funny video Pete sent me, is all.”

She clicked her tongue. “Uh-huh.”

“What? It’s true.”

“I know.” She still carried the same knowing grin. “I was just teasing. Relax.” Her hands caressed her shoulders with slightly more pressure, feeling the knots underneath the skin and the hot fabric of her bathrobe.

Eliza slumped back in the chair. “I’m sorry,” she was quick to say. “I’m just a bit on edge. This whole party makes me all shaky and stuff. I’m not as okay with it as I look on the outside. You know I don’t hate them, but I hate the fact that Ross and his judgy politician friends are gonna be here.”

Pepper hummed. She dug her fingers into her tense shoulders with delicious pressure. It hurt, but other than that Eliza felt oddly relieved when she began to massage the stress from her muscles. “You don’t have to worry,” she said. Her face appeared in the mirror and she stared into her eyes with a smile. “It’s all gonna work out. We’re just going to have some drinks and then Tony will make his speech and then after that, we can enjoy the party.” Her fingers ran through the mess of hair on her head. 

She leaned back, though the sentiment only lasted for so long. Pepper pulled out the hairbrush to untangle the curls. She was never a gentle hair stylist. 

“Now, why don’t you tell me how you want me to do your hair, huh? Are we feeling more feminine today or do you want me to tie everything up in, like, a straight ponytail or a bun?”

Eliza grunted. “I don’t know how I’m feeling,” she admitted. “But I guess you can keep them open. If you take those annoying bitches in the front and braid them so you can tie them together at the back, it’d be great,” she told her. 

The woman had the strands already parted before she was done talking. “Like that?” she asked, demonstrating. 

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

“Alright. Are we gonna use a normal clip or the butterfly one?”

“You even have to ask?”

“My bad.” Pepper reached for the dressing table. The lavender-colored clip was indeed shaped like a cute little butterfly. Specks of gold decorated the wings. It fit perfectly with the outfit Tony picked out for her. “Butterfly it is,” she said. “What’s the Russian word again?”

“Babochka.” Eliza smiled. “Butterfly.”

“Babochka. I have to keep that in mind for the next language lesson that you’ll give me. I don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I want to know what the people around me are saying.”

“You mean you wanna spy on them?” She raised her eyebrows. 

She shushed her. “You’re never too old to learn new skills,” she said. “Now, let’s see what I can do for you tonight.” 

The night came soon and subtle. Eliza had to give it to Tony, the golden pantsuit did wonders to make her feel confident. The fabric fit perfectly where it was supposed to and fell loosely down her thighs. He even added in a low-cut top that hugged her curves. The designer must’ve added a few inches - the top itself didn’t look like it was made to be worn that way. With the jacket though, she had never looked better, and she’d worn many high-class outfits before this one. 

She got Happy’s issue with the employees sorted first thing after she came back to the compound. By the time darkness rolled around, the chaos had settled down. The ‘A’ on the front shone brightly from the outside of the compound. The sustainable energy that supplied the building put all the work into keeping the Avengers’ trademark burning. What had once meant the world, now meant nothing at all.

Tony asked for a red carpet leading up to the front door and fairy lights instead of the big spotlights he used to demand at every event. Properly planning an event wasn’t one of his strong suits. He tossed in the idea, demanded everything, and then sat back as he expected the work to be done for him. 

“Eliza,” she didn’t even hear Happy approach behind her.

She stood by the big window, looking out at the decorated driveway. Employees added the last finishing touches. Somewhere in the distance, reporters pulled up in their vans, ready to crowd behind the barrier to catch the upcoming guests off guard. With everything finally calmed around her, she almost forgot the seriousness of the situation.

“Hey,” she said.

”Have you seen Tony?” he asked.

Eliza grew suspicious at the nervous undertone in his voice. “Have you checked his office?”

“Yeah.”

”Dressing room?”

“Yeah, checked there too.”

“Pepper?”

“Would I be here if I hadn’t done any of those things you just asked?” The crease between his eyebrows was deeper than usual. Happy always worried too much, but the depths of the crease were seemingly endless this time around, and that never represented a good thing.

“I don’t know where he is,” she told him. Her voice wavered. “The party’s starting in half an hour, he’s gotta be somewhere.”

“I checked everywhere!” Happy cried. “I can’t find him. Pepper can’t find him. He’s supposed to give a speech a-and open the floor, but he’s not where I asked him to be.”

“I haven’t seen him since this morning. Are you sure you checked everywhere ?”

“As long as he’s not hiding in the fridge, yeah, I’m sure.”

“Jesus!”

“Yeah, he did that once. I had to pull him out of there, drunk off his ass with a Martini in his hand, but he still managed to deliver. Anyway, we need to find him. Soon.”

“Wait, he was in the fridge?” she asked. “How did he get there?”

“Does it matter?!” he said. “This can’t be happening.” He was sweating. She saw the stains on the soft blue shirts as he threw his arms up over his head. “I thought tonight‘s gonna go flawless. We did everything according to plan. That idiot-“

“Hey,” - Eliza gently placed a hand on his arm - “I’m gonna go check. You greet the guests, alright? I’ll look for Tony and make sure the room is entertained until he’s back. We can do this. This ain’t the first time. There’s more on the line now, yeah, but that’s not on you. I have to fix this.”

She didn’t have to fix anything. She swore she wouldn’t make it her responsibility anymore, but when did she ever get what she wanted? 

“You’d do that?” Happy asked.

“You’ve been stressed all day. The least I can do is take some responsibility.”

She dedicated her life to taking responsibility. Once, she associated the noun with what she was forced to do in the past, but on this day, Sokovia and Lagos stood high in the sky, and she had to take responsibility for the tragedies the Avengers caused in the name of ‘good’. After New York, the team had never flown higher. They never learned how to fly, but you don’t need to know how to use your wings when you’re levitating. No one prepared them for the fall they would take - big publicity meant more space for delusions of grandeur. The Avengers flew straight into the sun, some more than others, but in the end, they all carried the fault one way or another. It wasn’t just on one person, in particular, the Sokovia Accords, and what happened after was everyone’s doing. The consequences of their actions. Icarus. 

Eliza suffocated under mountains of pressure as the clock came closer to reaching eight pm. She searched every last inch of the compound. The rough edges of her heels dug into the skin on her soles and the back of her calves. She leaned against the wall to take a breath – walking in these shoes was a whole workout – when she heard it. Somehow, she ended up in the basement, between boxes and old memories. 

“Who’s there?” she asked. She didn’t get an answer. Turning the corner, there he sat, on an old armchair between moving boxes and furniture.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Tony.”

He looked up from the half-empty bottle of Scotch in his hand. “Shit,” he said. “I’ve been caught.”

She stepped further into the dimly lit hallway. “What are you doing here? Everyone’s been looking for you. The party’s starting.”

“Already?” He checked his watch. “It’s eight. No one’s on time at a party, especially not me. You know that.”

“This isn’t a joke!” Eliza said.

Tony laughed. He emptied the glass, then stood. He tried to, mostly. He was shaking.

“You’re right, it’s not,” he said. “You’re the only one who’s allowed to laugh about crappy situations. Got it.”

“Are you seriously drunk right now?” she only stared at him blankly. The loss of words reached its breaking point. She was at a loss for everything - words, sounds, feelings, everything. She was just numb at this point. Numb and furious.

“You know what, I am. I’m sick and tired of pretending everything’s fine. Look around! This place is a dump. You know this?” He kicked over a box that stood to his right. The metal inside clanged loudly as it came rolling to the floor. 

Eliza looked at her feet. She could recognize the circular object anywhere. Painted red, white, and blue with a white star in the middle – it was a national treasure. The sign of someone standing for the nation, not against it. 

Tony scoffed bitterly. “Captain America,” he stated. “Turns out that piece of vibranium my father made for him doesn’t make him a better person after all.” 

“Why is it in a moving box?” she asked. 

“To think he got the ball rolling in the first place because he just wouldn’t listen…”

“Why is Steve’s shield in a moving box?” 

“You know, he was my friend too. We got along great before the whole Lagos debacle. I left him alone with you guys for one second and there he goes! He only did the mission because he was still holding a grudge. I mean, he was right to take Rumlow out, but at what cost? The kid barely knew what she was doing. No one taught her how to control her powers. You guys raised hell with that one. I don’t know if Steve failed to train you or if you just weren’t ready. Wanda surely wasn’t.”

“Would you stop?” Eliza growled. “This is my friend you’re talking about!”

“You always say ‘they’re my friends’ whenever I criticize any of them as if that makes what happened any better. People died, Eliza,” he said. His eyes drilled sharply into hers through his glasses. “I agreed on the Accords because I wanted to do a good thing. I made a compromise. I thought it would do us some good to finally have some control. People died and it was our fault! The Accords were supposed to help prevent something like this from happening again. And then-” he pinched his brows. “And then we somehow landed in Berlin and we did exactly what I didn’t want us to do - fight each other. We destroyed a perfectly good airport in the process. Tell me, do you think I was wrong to agree to the Accords? If you care so much about your friends, why didn’t you go with them?”

“You know it’s not that easy, Tony. I made the conscious decision to believe in the purpose behind the Accords. That doesn’t mean I hate Steve and everyone else now. We disagreed on one thing. A big thing, I give you that, but it was still just a disagreement, not the end of the world.”

“Well, you make it sound like you made the wrong decision and now you’re stuck with me. Maybe it’s the killer in you, or it’s the part of you that’s so obsessed with wanting to be someone else - I don’t care! I feel like you don’t want to be here and it’s driving me fucking crazy.”

She threw her arms up. “Maybe I made the wrong choice!” Her voice echoed. “Maybe I should’ve gone with Steve,” she said. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter now anyway because I’m here, no one else is. So you can go cry about how I have some valid regrets about how things went down and maybe, just maybe, have a slightly different opinion than yours, or you can pull your shit together and we can try again.”

“Why?” he shot back. “My words mean nothing. You tell me I don’t listen, but have you ever heard Rogers listen to anything I have to say? I don’t think so. And look where that got us! Look where it got them !” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Tony!” she called his name louder this time. “I know you’re drunk, but the shit you’re saying hurts.”

Fresh tears pricked her eyes. The black eyeshadow used as eyeliner already started to disappear around the edges. All of Pepper’s work was about to be washed down the drain. 

Tony pointed his finger at her. “You hurt me first,” he said with his whole chest. His voice broke, it cracked like a fragile vase, and the anger stuffed into the four words bubbled hot like the water from a geyser. 

“ I hurt you ?” she asked. “First it was Steve, now it’s me, seriously?” 

“You all hurt me! Every single one of you and you didn’t even care to ask how I’m feeling about any of this stupid shit.”

“Is that why Steve’s shield is in that box?” Eliza pointed to the ground where the contents of the carton lay splayed out.

“He doesn’t deserve it. Doesn't need it now anyway,” he said. “So I’m having it shipped out.” 

He reached for the shield, but she put her foot down. He didn’t stand a chance against her strength. She used all of it. Her eyes darkened. “No.”

“No?”

“You’re not gonna ship it out,” she said. Her voice itself was a warning. “This is who Steve is – or was. Either way, it’s not leaving the compound. Not if I can help it.” 

Tony pulled at the shield again. “That’s not your choice to make, you realize that, right? You’re not in control here.”

“Steve was my family! You’re not taking what little I have left. I don’t care if it stays in the basement, but you’re not taking Steve’s shield.” 

“ I’m your family, too!” She launched back. He seemed to realize soon enough that the tone of his voice was picked poorly. He stared at Eliza and she stared back, dead tears in her eyes. He sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

Eliza breathed heavily. “Fuck you!” she said. Her throat tightened. 

“Fuck me?” Tony scoffed. He pointed to the other moving boxes around him. “Alright, fine. If you want to hoard their stuff, go ahead!” God, he was so bitter. “I think Romanoff also left some stuff here. Knock yourself out! Less trash I have to take out.”

She exhaled shakily. The air burned in her lungs. She hugged Steve’s shield tight to her chest. The scratches from their fight were still fresh on it. “What happened to you?” she asked quietly. 

“Honestly? You guys did. And now I’m here and have to stare at all the shit they’ve left me like I’m a masochist who likes to torture himself. This stupid party was a mistake.”

“You can’t just pull out now.” 

He was one walking mess, worse than her, and he didn’t give a single fuck.

Her heart filled with rage and pain, so much pain. So much blue, so much red. She could see her colors floating around, but there was no fix for the way she felt. No power in the world could take away the disappointment she felt. She had to suffer through it. This was her curse, her personal hell, an endless fire pit with no rope to the other side. 

Tony snapped his fingers. “I can,” he said. “I fucking can! Do you know why? It’s my party. I could stop this all if I wanted to. Send Ross back to whatever hellhole he crawled out of. I don’t care. I just want to be alone.”

She snapped. “That’s not your choice to make!” With the high audacity of her voice, the shield flew out. The vibranium grazed his neck and landed in the wall behind him, set in stone. She panted. “You can’t just say that shit and believe the world spins to your beat! It doesn’t work that way,” she said. “It’s not just your life that’s on the line here. You have money, you have houses; I have nothing. Rhodey has nothing. Peter is a child who looks up to you. We have absolutely nothing but each other and you want to ruin that for us? You want us to crumble the way you are right now? Is that really what you want us to remember you by? You want us to be mad and spiteful until you die one day, or one of us dies?”

“Don’t!” he shot back. “ Don’t pull the kid into this.”

“You pulled him into this, not me. You’re lucky no one knows who he is. What you need to do is prove to everyone and him that you’re the man everyone takes you for. You’re a role model, Tony,” she said, teeth bared. “You’re supposed to be the man that children look up to. Peter looks up to you. You pulled him into war and now he looks up to you because you made him something. You’re his idol. Just this once, act like it.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“I don’t care what you want, Tony! I passed that point a couple of minutes ago when you blamed me for your suffering when you know damn well you’re not alone in this lake of misery. I just need you to have some common sense and get that stick out of your ass because damn you! I tried to make this work. I tried to make amends and fix this. I couldn’t. You couldn’t. No one could. This fucked up situation is why we’re here today in the first place. You agreed to this. There was a time when you were still happy to be doing this. I don’t give a fuck if you mean it or not, just try to be normal for one fucking night. That’s not too much to ask, is it? If not for me, do it for Pepper and Happy. They love you, for whatever fucking reason. This is important to them. If you don’t come out, they’re gonna be so fucking disappointed. I can’t have you let them down like that.”

“Why do you care?” he asked.

“I don’t. I care about my friends though, and they care about you. I’m not gonna stand by and watch you hurt them. Before that happens, I’ll tie you to a fucking stick and put you where everyone can see how miserable you truly are. Maybe then you will finally grow a brain cell or two.”

“You,” - he wiggled his finger - “are bad. Insufferable. I can’t believe this is working.”

“Don’t.” He looked at her and all he saw was emptiness, a face too consumed by disappointment to show anything else. “Drop the bottle,” she told him. “Straighten your tie, get that speech into your thick skull and then join the party like you’re supposed to. I’m not gonna ask again. Also-“ she tore the shield from the wall. Pieces of broken cement rained down. “Don’t you dare touch this,” she said, the warning sounding more like a threat. “You get rid of this and we’re done, understood?” 

Tony sighed. He lessened the distance between them. “For your information, Eliza, I was never going to get rid of it,” he said. “I was just going to store it in one of the empty safe houses until I found a use for it.”

“Oh, really ?”

“Yeah, but nice of you to assume that I’ve never really cared about any of you. It truly lifts my spirits.” 

And then he left, without uttering another word to her. He might have been drunk and bonkers, too, but he had a point. Not even Tony in his worst moments of anger would’ve thrown away all their memories at once.

The speakers played a soft nineties tune in the background, voices slowly filling the ballroom to the brink. People swarmed from all sides into the beehive and got offered drinks and conversation. The clicking of high heels mixed with the high echo of dress shoes.

Eliza slipped from the darkness into the crowd. The current dragged her down. She inserted the earpiece to inform Happy about Tony’s whereabouts. He wasn’t pleased, but he showed her his gratitude. She straightened her jacket. 

The guests didn’t pay attention to her. They found the interior of the compound more interesting than the party itself. After some time, she lost count of familiar faces. She met most of them at least once, but there was still a handful that she didn’t recognize.

The barkeeper smiled at her. “Drink?” he asked.

She switched eyes between him and the crowd. “Me?”

“Yeah, you. You seem pretty lost. You wanna drink?”

He dug through the crashed ice before him.

“Yeah,” she said. “Drink sounds great.”

“What’s your poison, darling?”

Eliza almost hissed at how sharply and easily he flirted. He was only a few years older than her, brunette, dressed in shades of brown and a pair of suspenders. His hair was fluffy, not slicked back. Rings covered his slender fingers. Hipster was the first word that came to mind, the second was ‘attractive’, at least conventionally so. Not quite her type but nice to look at.

She walked over to the bar. “Tequila, neat. Without the salt or the lemon. Just straight-up tequila, please.”

“That bad, huh?” he cocked an eyebrow.

“You have no idea.”

“Alright, tequila coming right up!”

He poured the clear liquid from the bottle into one of the crystal glasses she’d helped move upstairs earlier. His fingers handled the liquor skillfully. He played with the bottle, tossed it around, circled it around his head before he turned it, and allowed the hard liquor to run into the glass. 

Eliza chuckled, yet she couldn’t fight the urge to roll her eyes at his desperate attempts to make her smile. The chuckle was dry. She didn’t feel like smiling. She would’ve laughed if he’d dropped the bottle, but other than that, she didn’t feel like anything other than getting drunk.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Eliza,” she said.

“Eliza. That’s a nice name. You’re one of Stark’s, right?”

The familiar burn of alcohol ran down her esophagus. “Unfortunately,” she said.

“I’m Benji,” he introduced himself. “The bartender.”

“Nice to meet you, Benji, The Bartender.”

“You too, Eliza. Can I make you anything else? Snack, maybe?”

“I’m good with drinks, for now, thanks.”

“Well, if you want to drown your sorrows, you know where to find me.” He slapped the counter. A couple stood at the other side of the bar, waving for him to take their order. 

Eliza stared into the glass. The blurry picture of exhausted eyes stared back at her. She dreaded the evening more so than ever. 

“Eliza.” The voice speaking her name in such a sweet, unique manner made her smile. She left the empty glass on the bar, quick to turn around and greet the man.

“T’Challa!” she said. It came more out of surprise than anything. “I mean,” - she dropped her voice - “ King T’Challa.”

He clicked his tongue. “Nonsense! Come over here.” The strong arms wrapped around her. “It is nice to finally see a familiar face.”

“It’s nice to see you. Been a while since we last met.”

“Yes, the circumstances of our encounter were a lot less… pleasant, I believe. But I’m glad we’re over that now.” He pulled away from the hug. He always smiled without care, his most valuable quality. “Tony Stark has invited me and my family to the party,” he stated. She followed his opened arms to the bar again. “I’m afraid my sister and mother couldn’t make it, but I am here today for all of us.”

“He really wants this to look as convincing as possible,” she said.

“I know this is more for Mister Stark’s sake than for ours, but I didn’t want to miss the chance of seeing you again. We parted on a slightly bad note the last time.”

Eliza scoffed, her head nodding out of instinct. “How is he?” 

T’Challa smiled. He didn’t need to hear the name to know. “He is good. Ever since we woke him up, he’s been talking about you and Captain Rogers. I’m not sure he enjoys it very much, but the children like him,” he said. 

Her voice dropped. “That’s something,” she said. “Say hi to him for me when you get back, will ya?”

“Of course. I think it is going to make him happy to know you are doing alright.”

“I’m alive,” she corrected him. “Far from alright but I’m here, I’m breathing. You can tell him I’ve got it all under control and that he doesn’t have to worry.”

“I will. He tells me he is sorry for what he did.”

“I know, he told me too.”

“And he’s also sorry you had to choose sides.”

“We all are sorry for so many things. Doesn’t change what happened. We have to make the best out of it now.”

“I believe you are right,” T’Challa said. “You are wise, for your age. That makes you a valuable partner. If this night goes well, perhaps you would appreciate a trip to Wakanda, eh?”

Eliza raised her eyebrows. “Really?” she questioned. “You wanna invite me to your home?”

“I’d love to have you in my home. We take family and friendship very seriously in Wakanda.”

“That’s nice.”

Benji came around again. He asked T’Challa for his choice of drink, to which he answered, “I’d like one of those beers you Americans like to drink so much.”

He handed him a bottle and fixed up another glass of tequila for Eliza. He left her behind with a wink that could’ve meant many things, but the most obvious choice was also the least preferred. The pair stood at the bar, indulged in their drinks and the faint sound of conversation. Their topics weren’t limited to Berlin or Wakanda, which was nice because finally, for a few minutes, her mind revolved around something other than the danger waiting in the darkness for them, without the weight of the past on her shoulders.

She laughed at something he said. “Sounds like your sister and I might just get along,” she said.

“I think you might be right,” said T’Challa.

“Perhaps I’ll take you up on your offer after all. When this is all over, I’m gonna need a vacation.”

With this, she didn’t mean the party. He wasn’t aware of what her life had come to. He would’ve understood if she had told him, he was wired that way, but this wasn’t Wakanda’s fight. This was hers, maybe even Daredevil’s if she squinted and ignored his overprotective personality. She had so much to worry about, so much that was still open, left to do. Hydra wasn’t a casual topic of conversation to throw into the ring while having drinks at a party. 

“That would be lovely,” his voice sounded through her strain of thought. “We can cook a nice dinner and then I’ll take you on a trip around the city.”

She smiled. “That sounds lovely.”

He clinked his glass to hers. “I’m glad we agree.”

Eliza let her eyes trail across the room. She sensed them before they even walked through the door.

Foggy didn’t lie when he said they’d look fucking dashing. The man himself chose his best grey suit for the evening. He paired the outfit with a pink tie and pink dress shoes, which, to be honest, made her stare a little too long. He knew how to dress to impress.

Karen chose something blue. The dress fell down her long legs like a second skin. She braided half of her hair to the side, revealing her pale neck and the golden earrings she wore. The woman was beautiful, yet her hands fiddled awkwardly in front of her torso as if she was more than uncomfortable.

Their partner though – Eliza choked on the tequila. “Shit!” she cursed under her breath.

If she hadn’t been convinced of Matthew Murdock’s endless ability to get every person in a ten-mile radius into bed if he just so much as smirked at them before, she sure as hell was now. The man walked in and instantly sucked all the air out of the room. He knew what he was doing, she could see it in his face. His suit was black, the deepest shade in existence. The edges shone like acrylic in the slightly yellow lighting. He replaced his tie with the perfectly tied fabric of a bow around his neck. The white button-down strained against his chest – he chose the tightest size simply because he could.

The women in the room ogled him. Their husbands hardly paid attention to them, almost balls deep into the younger halves of younger guests. The female population was left reading the room and damn it! Once Matt walked in, Eliza could’ve sworn she heard at least a dozen panties drop. Her fists clenched around nothing. The reflex came out of nowhere, tensing her muscles in every inch of her body. Her jaw locked tight.

The music moved into the background. The crowd of people parted in the middle and the spotlight fell on the man on the other end of the ballroom. She saw him stand there in all his glory, the world around him just supporting actors in his movie. He smirked as if he could see her as if he could hear the beating of her heart loud and clear. The light danced in colorful hues around his body, reflecting off the red glasses, his face captured perfectly in the radiance of his aura. 

She let her arms hang loose, staring at him. She eyed every inch of his body closely. She took in the way he moved, the way his suit crinkled as he walked. Time was a construct. Every second ran by in slow-motion. The room was dead-silent, frozen in place. The light opened a path towards her. It didn’t make sense. In some way, he saw her. Not with sight but in a metaphorical sense, which ran even deeper than whatever feelings she associated with the man before. He managed to scratch part of her she never even knew existed.

T’Challa chuckled next to her. His voice dug through the cotton that silenced all sounds. “Are these friends of yours?” he asked.

Eliza blinked. The crowd exploded. Matt disappeared. He wasn’t fully gone, just casually making his way through the abundance of people, hand tightly wrapped around Foggy’s bicep in fear of getting lost or trampled over, the other cradling his cane like a lifeline. 

She licked her dry lips. The entire area of her mouth transformed into the Sahara desert. “Kinda,” she said.

T’Challa cocked his head. Her voice came merely as huffs of air, vocal cords straining against nothing. She was in no way tied down, though she felt suffocated. The chokehold this man had on her was immaculate, just like the sound of her two heartbeats. She felt the control just slipping from her fingers the closer he got. 

It wasn’t even out of the question that Matt Murdock was in full control of her right brain – she wasn’t thinking anymore at this point. There was no nice way of saying this. She was physically infatuated with this man. Of course, she’d been attracted to many people in the past, but this went beyond saying ‘I’m attracted to you’. Her body was obsessed with him. The second he walked in, her heart dropped and every ounce of her body reacted in a disgustingly hot way.

Eliza nudged her left brain to jump in, and be rational, but her right brain was too focused on the man now before her to even consider acting compliant with reality. She straightened her shoulders, putting the mask back over her features.

“Eliza!” Foggy said. He waved, only a few feet away. “Hey, found you.”

“You found me,” she agreed.

“Bring it in!”

“Oh-“ he wrapped his arms around her. “Okay. This is nice.” She patted his back.

“It’s so nice to see you again.” He was way too cheery. His arms loosened and he stepped back again.

Karen smiled warmly. Something changed on her face. The reservation from before had vanished. Her blue eyes matched her dress. This time, when she looked at her, there was a soft glint in them. She was letting her guard down to prove to Eliza she could trust her, that she was willing to try again. 

Eliza smiled back. “You came.”

“Turns out Foggy was right,” Karen said. “This party doesn’t seem so bad. It’s, uh, nice to see you again, Eliza.”

Foggy didn’t even give them a chance to indulge in conversation. “This place is amazing, holy shit!” he gushed. “I’ve never been somewhere with this many doors, man. Or rooms. Or lights. Or cameras. Or people. Ever. I still can’t believe it. Wow. To think Captain America was in the same room once is so fucking cool.”

“Well, I’m glad you like it,” she said. 

“He hasn’t stopped talking since we got into the cab,” Matt chose to chime in. He smirked, eyes crinkling behind the glasses as if he knew exactly how she was feeling around him. “Nice seeing you again, Eliza.”

Eliza tried to casually lean against the bar. “Hi,” – she moved her hand from the counter to the back of her head, then back to the Mahagoni; honestly, she didn’t know what to do or how, she couldn’t even breathe – “Matt- Matthew,” she said. “How are you?”

He titled his head. “I’m fine,” he made it sound more like a question. “How’re you?”

“Good, good. Yeah. I’ve never been better.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Better now that you’re here. All of you, I mean. Not just you, that would be weird.”

“Okay,” Matt chuckled.

Change the subject. “You guys look great!”

“Thanks,” Foggy said, beaming like a child. “I was waiting to get this bad boy out of the closet. You look smoking too though. Can’t believe you’re not the center of attention already.”

Eliza snorted. “Well, thank you.”

Karen rubbed her knuckles. Her eyes fell on the man next to Eliza. “Uh, who’s this?” she asked.

“Shit!” she cursed again. “I forgot. This is-”

T’Challa only chuckled. “It’s alright,” he said. “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is T’Challa, I’m a friend of Eliza’s.”

Karen took his hand with a smile. There was the ghost of a blush resting on her cheeks. It could’ve just been the heat though.

“Karen Page,” she said. 

Foggy gaped at the man. “T’Challa as in-“ he closed his mouth again. “Oh, my god!”

“Please, none of this.” T’Challa motioned for him to rise from his bow. “We don’t do that where I’m from.”

“But you’re a king .”

“I might be a king on most days, but today I’m just a normal man visiting his friend. Besides, title doesn’t matter to me. In Wakanda, we’re all equals.”

“I knew you seemed familiar,” Karen said. “I’m sorry, your highness.”

“You people watch too much British television. Call me T’Challa, I insist.“

“Foggy Nelson,” the man introduced himself and went in to shake his hand wildly. “I’m Eliza’s lawyer. It’s so nice to meet you, your high- I mean, T’Challa.”

Matt nodded in his general direction. “Matt Murdock,” he said. 

T’Challa nodded back. “Nice making your acquaintance, Mister Murdock.” Turning back to Eliza, he said, “I am going to give you and your friends some space to talk.”

“You don’t have to,” she said.

“I need to check in on my sister now anyway. I will find you later, yes?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Okay, have a nice evening.” He curtsied, leaving at least two of them speechless.

Foggy waited until he was gone to gasp loudly. “You know the king of Wakanda?” he asked.

“We fought on the same side,” Eliza stated. “They don’t have the same traditions in Wakanda as we do here. He’s, uh, pretty great.”

“Yeah, and he’s a king! This just keeps getting better and better.”

“He’s humble,” Karen said. 

“Yeah, that’s just him. He likes everyone.”

Foggy gasped again. His hand grasped Matt’s jacket in absolute disbelief. “Is that Elon Musk?” he choked out. Any more of this and he was surely going to have a heart attack.

Eliza turned in the direction he was pointing. “Oh, yeah,” she said. The Tesla CEO stood in the corner with a couple she’d met once at an industrial fair Pepper took her to.

Foggy was hyperventilating at this point. “How can you act so casual?” he screeched. “That’s fucking Elon Musk, Eliza!”

“I know. I’ve helped him and Tony with the rendering of his newest model.”

“You did what? Oh, my god! I think I’m in heaven. This can’t be real. Matt, tell me, am I still breathing?”

His friend patted his hand awkwardly. “You’re fine,” Matt said. “It’s just nerves, Foggy. It’ll pass.”

Karen took the opportunity to slide in and ask, “So you’re an engineer?” 

Eliza found herself under her scrutinizing gaze again, or perhaps she was just too worked up and interpreted a little too much. Sweat pooled inside her palms. “Uh, not really,” she said. “I work for Stark Industries, is all. I helped modify the algorithm for Elon, but that was before the Accords, so I don’t do that kinda stuff anymore.”

“Karen,” Matt’s low, warning tone came out again. “Eliza is Miss Pott’s second in command. She helps with the sales of Stark Tech. Her work is just as important as ours.”

She bit down on her lip. Here we go .

Karen frowned. “That’s not what I meant,” she insisted. “I was just curious. Besides, I think Eliza can speak for herself.” 

The tension between the two grew by the second. Eliza didn’t know if she was truly the reason for their argument or if she was simply the catalyst for an already existing issue that they just hadn’t resolved yet.

Eliza chose to act on the line Karen tossed her. “She’s right,” she said. “I can speak for myself. Matt’s right though. That’s kinda what I do.”

“It’s a cool job,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“Is there anything else you plan on doing, like going to college?”

Matt hissed. “Karen!”

“Matt,” Eliza retorted. He tilted his head in surprise at her harsh tone. “Don’t be a dick,” she said. “She’s just trying to make conversation. You act like a jealous hag and it’s honestly not sexy at all. Jesus!”

Karen pulled the loose blonde curl in her face behind her ear. “Thank you,” she smiled.

She caught a glimpse of Foggy saying, “That was not cool dude,” to Matt, but the music tuned out anything else.

The blonde kept her attention on Eliza. Curiosity sparked in the deep blue of her eyes. She’d never seen such a radiant shade before. Her eyes were framed by soft black eyelashes, which made the irises pop even more. She was drawn in by the way all of Karen’s emotions acted like wild ocean waves that came and went. Her eyes were the endless sea and she was simply swimming in it, picking up on every conflict possible.

“I’m sorry,” she said eventually. Her lip contorted and she laughed shyly, hands in front of her face. “We got off on the wrong foot. I never meant to back you into a corner. It’s just, I haven’t been friends with these two for long so I tend to get a bit overprotective sometimes.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Eliza said.

“Yeah, I figured you would. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you… how’re you holding up?”

“I’m fine, really. Thanks for asking though.”

“Yeah, no- no problem. You seem good friends with the people here.“

“What can I say, people like me.“

“They’d be stupid not to,” Matt’s voice silenced them at once. Eliza’s mouth opened and closed like a fish on dry land.

Not even the slightest bit surprised at his words, Foggy raised his eyebrows. Wow, the words hung loose on his lips. “Hey,” he said then. “I’m gonna get us all some drinks. Karen, can you help me?”

“What? But we were just-“ she said.

“I can’t carry them on my own, Karen.” Foggy made sure to put enough pressure on her name.

She slowly realized. “Oh.”

“Will you help me or do you want me to break everything? Let’s be real, that is so gonna happen.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She wasn’t happy, nor was she satisfied. Her head hung low, the glint gone from her eyes as she looked at Eliza once again, reservation replacing whatever positive feelings she harbored about her.

Eliza crossed her arms instinctively. Karen’s gaze burned under her skin. She didn’t trust her, not even remotely. She cared about Matt, wanting the best for him. The man seemed more than a colleague to her, so it was understandable that she was suspicious of the new girl. The two barely knew each other. She was at least ten years younger than him. She couldn’t even blame Karen; she wasn’t sure how she would have reacted in her position, but she knew she wouldn’t have been happy either.

The pair disappeared into the crowd. “Where are they going?” Matt asked.

“The other bar,” Eliza told him.

“There’s two?”

“Don’t even ask.”

“Oh, can you tell I’m not used to this kind of establishment?”

“ What ?” she dragged out the word.

He began to laugh. His eyes were crinkled, his teeth white and bright. “That’s fair,” he said.

Eliza smiled back at him. She searched for his arm, pulling gently. “Uh, would you like something to drink?” she asked.

He offered his hand instead. “Yeah, good idea. Lead the way?” 

She reached down. Their hands fit together like gloves. The callouses of his fingers were rough, and so were hers. The constant fighting eventually took a toll. Cracked knuckles, broken fingers; the skin was dry from all the scrubbing and disinfecting wounds. 

Some nights, Tony used to ask her into his lab. She helped him bring his newest visions to life – she’d never considered herself an engineer, though ever since she joined the Avengers, she grew a lot of new talents. Working with her hands was just one of them. 

Feeling Matt’s fingers gently around hers, yet the skin so rough it brought friction, eased her anxiety. She wasn’t the only one with unusually worn-down hands. She savored the feeling of his hot skin on her always cold one. Truth to be told, they both could’ve used some hand moisturizer.

Eliza placed his hands on the bar. Matt patted along the Mahagoni wood, tracing the patterns on the clean counter, mapping out his exact surroundings down to the smallest detail.

His lip twitched. “This place is fancy,” he said.

“And expensive,” she added.

“It feels expensive.” He swirled his fingers around the wood again. “Tony Stark really doesn’t have to worry about money, does he?”

“No, that’s the least of his concerns, and it shows.”

“You said it, not me.”

Benji walked over from the other side of the bar, towel casually draped over his shoulder. “Eliza,” he sang. “Another drink?”

He stopped in his cheery walk. His eyes got stuck on the man beside her. The slow fall of his features came like dominos. First, he appeared conflicted, trying to make a connection. Then, the realization hit.

“Oh, I should’ve known this was gonna happen,” he muttered under his breath.

“I beg your pardon?” Eliza said.

Matt leaned into her. “He thinks we’re a couple,” he said.

“Boyfriend, right?” Benji proved the suspicion to be true. “What d’you drink?”

“Not her boyfriend. And Macallan, neat.”

She spun around. “First of all, he’s right. We’re not a couple,” she said. “Second of all, Macallan? What’s wrong with you? Does your tongue still work?”

“My tongue’s fine,” he chuckled.

“Then why the fuck would you drink Macallan, on purpose, and neat? This just keeps getting worse and worse. I think we might need to sign the divorce papers for our non-existent marriage tonight. It’s just not gonna work out between you and me. Oh, and I’m taking the kids with me.”

“You can have them, not sure they were mine anyway.”

“ Hey !“

“I’m still ordering Macallan.”

She gagged. “You’re disgusting.”

“Macallan,” he told Benji. “Make it extra neat.”

“If anyone asks, I don’t know you.”

“Put ice in.”

Benji switched his eyes from one side to the other. “Are you sure you’re not a couple?” he asked.

The pair exchanged a look, then turned to him, both frowning like it was the last thing they’d ever do. “We’re not,” it came out of their mouths simultaneously. “I mean, we’re not-“ They stared at each other.

“Stop mimicking me,” Eliza said.

“I’m not mimicking you,” he said.

Benji sighed, “No offense, I barely know you but I sure as hell know that you two are idiots.”

“None taken,” – she lifted her finger, not because of his words but because of the glass he placed in front of Matt’s smug face – “I take offense in that !”

“I don’t care. It’s tasty. I like it.”

Benji was about to pour her another tequila. She licked her lips. “Vodka,” she challenged. “Straight.”

He pursed his lips, saying ‘alright’. The glass clinked against the wood before her. He wished them fun, distanced, and dissatisfied. Eliza wondered if they behaved that suspiciously – she liked Benji, he was a cool guy, but in the end, he wasn’t her type either way – yet she still felt a bit offended that everyone assumed the two were in a relationship. She and Matt barely knew each other, they just had a shit ton of chemistry. That was normal in the first stage of friendship – right?

Matt’s features fell. “Vodka,” he repeated her order. She could’ve sworn by the way his head tilted, that he was no longer joking.

“Yeah,” she nervously swirled the clear liquid around. “Too much for you?” she asked.

His head remained cocked to the side. “You drink alcohol?”

“I mean, yeah. I’m twenty-three, not a minor. Almost everyone drinks these days.”

Her mind was too busy to focus on the obvious reason for his sudden mood change.

Matt remembered what he read in her file vividly. He was aware of all her priors, which he had every right to as her lawyer. When he took her case, he planned for it to be just a way to make up for what he got her into, but Eliza’s story ran deeper than what was available to the public.

The very contents of the file caused him to eye the drink in her hands more closely. He smelled it on her. This wasn’t her first drink and judging by the way her heart beat fast with anxiety, this certainly wasn’t going to be her last one. Stress drinker, he noted. Or in less pretty words, alcoholic. She had the tendency, she had the means. He just couldn’t quite figure out why, after everything she’s been through, she’d still try so hard to sabotage herself.

Matt sipped his Macallan, trapped in the line of thought. He decided to lighten the mood again. This wasn’t any of his business; by attempting to control her, he’d just make it worse. He had to restrain himself from claiming her and tying her down so that nothing could happen to her because damn it, he wanted to so badly.

“Straight vodka,” he said then. “What are you, a psychopath?”

Eliza scoffed. “Not exactly,” she said. “My throat’s just numb.”

He chuckled into his glass. “Not yet, sweetheart.”

“Matthew Murdock, I swear to god-“

“Oh, bad girl,” he said. “Using the lord’s name in vain. That’s a sin, you know.”

“What are you gonna do, punish me?” She scoffed. “Please, I do that myself every day.”

“That just shows me you’ve never been properly punished before.”

She straight-up choked on the sharp taste. The vodka burned down her throat like acid, landing in the wrong pipe as she tried to swallow but the liquor came down the wrong way. She coughed, feeling the fire expand inside her chest. Matt instantly patted her back to divert the coughing fit. She waved around wildly, trying to ease the ache with wind, but her lungs protested. Eventually, the pain subsided.

She looked at Matt through teary eyes. He grinned, smug asshole. “You alright?” he asked.

“Fuck you,” she said.

“Yeah, you’re alright.”

“Why do you always do that?”

He frowned. “Do what?”

“This.” She was grasping for straws.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah,” – she huffed a frustrated groan – “I don’t either.”

He nudged her. “Want anything?”

She glared at the glass, warning, “Don’t even think about it.”

Matt pressed the cold drink against her lips. She flinched back. He laughed, wholeheartedly.

“Come on, try it,” he said.

“No!”

“Please?”

“Absolutely not. Get that thing away from me.”

He reached for her jaw. The pressure burned sweetly as he pulled her forward, fingers holding her face tightly so she couldn’t move. “Open,” he ordered.

“Matt,” she warned again.

The world around them seemed so loud, so clear. She was afraid someone might see her. This was quite the compromising position, though she didn’t dare move. A strange shiver went down her spine right where she could’ve needed it less.

He smirked, glasses sliding down ever so slightly. She caught sight of his brows, and the tips of his eyelashes. She stared hard, urging for more, but he had her chin tilted up in no time. Matt placed the glass against her lips. She let him. He guided one of her hands to the Macallan.

“Drink,” he said. The demand hung heavy in the air. She squeezed her thighs together, crossing them. “I’m gonna show you how good it actually tastes, you just have to trust me.”

That low voice, she thought. Wherever it came from, she cursed him for even knowing what he could do with it. She opened her mouth hesitantly, letting the liquor rest on her tongue. She refused to swallow at first, though his grip tightened and she couldn’t stand it any longer. She swallowed the bitter taste.

“And?” he asked.

Eliza licked her lips. His hand was still on her. “It was-“ she shivered at the squeaky sound, “I still hate it.”

Matt chuckled. He loosened his grip slowly. “I figured. I just wanted to see your reaction.”

“You- you- UGH !” She downed the vodka in one big gulp. Mixed with the Macallan, she wanted to puke right then and there.

“What?” he smiled innocently. “Everything alright?”

“You’re a menace, Matt.”

“Eliza, am I making you nervous?”

“You know exactly what you’re doing,” she muttered. “And you know it’s working, so let’s not talk about it.”

Eliza realized it was plain and simple. She wanted to kiss Matthew Murdock. The light shone a beautiful light on his plump lips. All she wanted was to trail her tongue over it, bite it, claim it until he forgot his name and she forgot hers.

She didn’t kiss him. She refused to give in to temptation. This was what he wanted. Kissing him would’ve made her only another notch in his bedpost. He flirted like it was the only thing keeping him alive; he had a revolving door, somehow she just knew that. And she didn’t want to be put in this position with all the other women he did or did not sleep with. Although it was very tempting and required a lot of self-control not to give in. Matt knew how to rile her up, that was for sure.

He penetrated the comfortable silence between them. “You still wanna get divorced?” he asked.

Eliza choked on her drink. The bubbly laughter came naturally at this point. He joined in, gently patting her back to help her breathe again.

She wiped the access vodka off her lips, saying, “I have to consult my lawyer first.”

“Oh, really? Is he any good?”

“Yeah, he’s a really good lawyer. You should meet him sometime.”

“If that’s so, maybe you should give me his number. You know, for research purposes.”

Eliza laughed again. “You’re fucking hilarious,” she said, laughter turning into giggles. “Oh, god! I think I haven’t laughed that much in years .”

“You have a nice laugh,” he murmured. 

She left the question hanging in the air. Insecurity was her partner in crime. It was the only feeling that never left her, always sticking around. She never cared much about it until now. Matt broke through the walls she built up and made her do the things her insecurities used to prevent her from doing.

“And you’re quite the charmer.” She fluttered her lashes at him. “Lucky for you, I like it.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.”

He could tell by the smirk in her voice that she was going into full offense. 

“I’m a flirt, sure, but I’m not the kind of person you take me for,” he said. “The innocent blind man I pretend to be, that’s just not me. Not really. It’s… there are things you don’t know about me, Eliza. And I’m afraid-“ he cleared the lump from his throat, nervously swallowing the Macallan as if it was going to make this any easier. It didn’t.

“What?” she asked, her voice soft. She placed a hand on his arm, the muscles tense underneath her touch. “What is it, Matt?”

“I’m afraid that’s something that won’t make this work.”

The words swirled around her head. “What?”

“I don’t know what this is, you and me, but I know that I don’t deserve you.”

“Matt, where is this coming from?”

He emptied the glass in one gulp. “I should go find Foggy and Karen.”

Like the snap of two fingers, the switch was flicked. The light around him turned dark. His features contorted, hand tight around his cane. The skin around his knuckles turned white. His feet turned away. Just like that, he distanced himself. He flew into space, bringing more than two worlds between them. Physically, they were mere inches apart, but he drilled a mental gap between whatever it was they shared before. The hole was steep, deep – she couldn’t cross to the other side without falling to her imminent death. Going after him would ruin her, she realized. She hadn’t seen it before, but she did now. She saw Matt Murdock in an entirely different light. He wasn’t the man she took him to be.

He drove them wide apart, the water to her lungs, clouding her senses. Without reasoning, without a word of explanation.

“Matt,” she said his name again. “Matt!”

He sighed. “I’m sorry for wasting your time,” he shrugged her off. 

“You can’t just do this and expect me to be okay with it. What happened in the last few seconds? Did I do something, or miss something? I-“

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

The classic. She scoffed. All the bullshit he could’ve given her and he went with the least believable.

“Can we talk about it?” she asked.

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Uh, your mood swings, for example? You can’t just push me away when we’re trying to get to know each other. That might work with the women you fuck, but not with me.”

Eliza wasn’t usually one to be persistent. She kept her distance, refusing to let anyone get close. She didn’t have to force people to stay in her life because they weren’t there in the first place. Matt had drawn her in, without warning, and he was willing to throw it all away in the matter of what? Seconds? She never thought much of herself, but she refused to let him ruin this. She liked what they had, a little light at the end of this endless tunnel. If he had issues, she wanted to know. She deserved that much.

“You have to trust me,” he was so close again, his alcohol-stained breath hot on her cheeks. “You’re… You’re too good for this world, Eliza. I thought I could ignore the fact that I’m not the man you deserve and need, but spending time with you has shown me that you’re better than anyone on this godforsaken earth and I can’t- I can’t drag you down with me. I just can’t.”

She stared at him with wide eyes. “What kind of bullshit excuse is this? If you don’t like me, just say so!”

“I do, I like you, which is exactly what I was afraid of.”

“Oh, so you just wanted me to be your toy then?”

“What? No!”

“Then why are you pushing me away, Matt?”

His lip twitched, hand on her arm, fingers digging into the soft flesh there. “God,” he grunted. “Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?”

“Why do you have to be so fucking mysterious?”

“I-“ he sighed. She saw wild emotions flash across his face.

Matt was done for. His attempts to pull himself out of this failed miserably. He was pathetic, playing the hero, acting like he knew what was good for her. He knew who she was; he didn’t want Matt Murdock to ruin her, he just wanted her to get the life she deserved.

Daredevil could help her out and then disappear, and become history. Matt figured he had to distance himself before he put himself in a position where the truth would tear her entire world apart. She thought too highly of him. The thought of causing her any kind of pain hurt him more than any knife ever could.

But he was done for, hook line, and sinker. There wasn’t much he could do but bare it. 

“The heart is hard to translate, Matt,” she said. “It has a language of its own. Help me understand, please .”

“I-“ he groaned quietly. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” The sentence, though made out of only six words, carried so much vulnerability in the way he executed it.

“You don’t have to,” Eliza told him.

Boldly, her hand mapped out the fabric of his suit all the way to the bow around his neck. She let her fingers run along the skin underneath, the stubble on his cheek. He flinched at the softness of her touch.

“What are you doing?” he rasped.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Please.”

The word meant so much more than its definition. He said it because please, just, please. The only coherent thought on his mind. The pathetic whine of the word ‘please’. What happened to him? What got him this way? He wasn’t thinking straight. He wasn’t thinking at all.

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” she whispered into his ear, hand now on his neck, just ghosting over his pulse point.

Matt let out a heavy breath through his already parted lips. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he said.

“I think I might have an idea.”

Eliza pulled his face closer, her lips searching desperately for their way home. She wanted to park them where they belonged – the most anticipated place in the entire universe, it seemed. A desired little house in the middle of a whirlwind. He was the gift that just kept on giving.

Matt tasted her. The tiny distance between them clouded his senses. He was scared of what it would be like if she became a part of him and if it would suffocate him, the feeling of her so overwhelming he felt every single one of his senses absolutely overstimulated.

As fast as she’d pulled him in, her warmth disappeared. His face fell forward into nothingness, lingering just above the crook of her neck. He listened; her heart momentarily stopped, then jumped a heavy beat. Adrenaline cursed through her veins, fueled by fear and anger. He inhaled the scent radiating off her skin. What had smelled like desire disappeared into solely the taste of her perfume.

He opened his mouth to ask why she pulled away, pathetically searching for words in his fogged-up brain.

“Is this thing on?” Reality came back to him in Tony Stark’s infamous voice over the big speakers in the room. There was a hint of bitterness in there, trying hard not to slur his words as he spoke.

“Good evening lovely guests. You all know me, but for those who don’t, I’m Tony Stark. I own this fucking place. If you have any complaints, keep them to yourselves. Ungrateful bastards.” 

Murmurs went through the crowd. Eliza pinched her nose. 

“Unlike popular beliefs, I’m happy that you’re here today,” Tony said. “Makes telling you the truth so much easier. You know, I did write a speech. Or Pepper did. Anyway, I’m not gonna say any of it. A bunch of bullshit on paper doesn’t even cut close to what I want to say. Besides, I don’t believe in scripts. You’re here because of the Accords, right, to make my public reputation better? Well, if you really thought that’s what’s gonna happen, I’m so sorry to disappoint you. I’m talking to you, Ross. Over there, hi!”  He waved towards the right corner of the room where the man in question stood crammed between people, champagne in hand. He stiffened entirely as his name left Tony’s mouth, all the attention suddenly on his presence rather than the stage. 

“Oh, god!” Eliza swallowed. 

“I just gotta tell ya, I don’t regret a thing I did. Not a single thing. In fact, I would do it all again if I could. People are dead, you know. We’re murderers. Some of us have body counts higher than a college kid on crack. They thrived off it once. I called them out, you know. I wanted to change the world and if that meant giving up some of our control, I was willing to do whatever to keep us together as a team. We did good, but we did a shit-ton of bad. Heroes aren’t supposed to cause chaos and death. Apparently, Steve Rogers didn’t share the same thought. The people I made into something turned their backs on me just because I introduced a solution to a bigger problem. Unbelievable, right? You give and you give and you give and no one gives you a single piece of fucking gratitude back. Honestly, Ross, it would’ve been kinder if you’d just killed us all. I don’t care. I made the Avengers, they blew it and now I have to suffer the consequences. It’s just not fair.”

The knife drilled deeper into her chest.

“Everyone keeps telling me what to do,” he carried on. “You have to do this, say that, act this way. I realize now that I don’t have to do anything. I’m done. So fucking over it, you can’t believe it. Rogers screwed up, that’s not my fault. He wouldn’t listen. Now I have a kid giving me orders. What did you think would happen? You know, I’m not the orphanage for lost children, let alone those who want to tell me how to do my job.”

The thread snapped. Their connection was swept away into oblivion, drowned by the deep dark sea. Eliza took Matt’s glass, emptied it, and smashed it back down on the counter so hard, that shards went flying everywhere. She ignored the mess she made, knowing all eyes were on her, knowing she was the center of attention, the lost orphan telling Tony how to do his job. 

Tony laughed. “I was foolish to think the Avengers were actually going anywhere. It was my mistake to agree on it. I should’ve known. God, I should’ve seen this coming. And to think you’re here now, the stupid ass idiots that you are, and expect me to be a good person? I’m pretty sure you claimed me the villain just a couple months ago. You want the publicity, crave it, want me to embarrass myself. Yeah, I see through you. Ellison over there from the Bulletin,” he said. “Fucking Fox News. You want to paint me the villain, the rich bastard with an ego higher than the Empire State? Fine, so be it! I’m not gonna let anyone tell me what to do anymore. I’m done. Throw me in jail for all I care. This whole place won’t run without me anyway.”

Rhodey appeared on the stage. He grabbed Tony by the shoulders. Eliza was there, on the side. Her eyes glowed red. She reacted without thinking. The flames wrapped around his chest. The words stopped flowing. He stopped fighting. Rhodey apologized profusely to the crowd, carrying the man away. Happy came, too, and he tried to get Tony out of the room.

Eliza met his eyes. “Are you happy now?” she asked.

“Drop it,” Rhodey told her. “You can kick his ass later. Right now, there are people out there that need some explaining and a big fat apology.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Her chest felt constricted.

“Go out there, make a speech.”

“Rhodey, I can’t !”

“Yes, you can.”

It wasn’t a question, not an offer – he needed her to do this. She had no other choice. She was the only Avenger left that people would listen to. The spotlight loved her, they loved dramatic stories and they loved pain. These were people, many people, and they were waiting, watching, curious and judgmental. They made up their minds already. The same people who scrutinized her talked about her behind her back. Her hands were shaking, sweaty. Her heart beat up to her throat. The balloon in her chest deflated. 

“You have to,” a voice said in her head. “There’s no other way.” 

The spotlight burned in her eyes. She squeezed through it, the crowd seemingly millions of people on top of each other. They stared at her, waiting, anticipating. They were expecting her to talk. Secretary Ross in the corner had his eyes trained strictly on her, confused yet curious about how they were going to fix this. He’d always seen her as a child, not old enough to take responsibility or be a hero. Eliza hated the spotlight, hated being the center of attention. 

She took the microphone with shaky hands. “Wow,” her voice reached over the speaker. “That was a lot. And offensive. Honestly, if there was an award for the biggest idiot, Tony would win in a landslide.” 

The crowd laughed hesitantly. 

“Needless to say this wasn’t planned. It was rude and he had no right to speak to you that way,” she said. “I’d like to apologize on behalf of all of us. I can’t tell you he didn’t mean it, he probably did. He’s drunk and he does stupid shit when he’s drunk, that’s just Tony. Still doesn’t give him the right to treat his guests like that, especially not after everything that happened. I have no clue what he was supposed to say, so I’m just gonna freestyle. Be warned, I don’t usually give speeches – I struggle to find words. I’m the lost orphan, after all.”

They didn’t know if they could laugh, but she saw their lips twitch, a little less tension filling the room. 

“It’s okay, you can laugh,” she urged. The crowd did. “It’s funny. Tony said I give him orders. Considering what he just did, I kinda wish I actually could. He’s mad, I don’t know why. We invited you here today to show that we’re still strong, right? That we’re sorry for what happened. We wanted the press to know all that. I’m not sure if you’d believe me if I tell you that now, so I’m just gonna walk you through a hypothetical real quick.” 

Eliza absentmindedly placed the mic stand aside. The cord fell at her feet, she balled it into her fist, preventing the possibility of an embarrassing fall.  

“Imagine you’re a kid,” she began. “You’re being tossed into this big world, alone. Your parents are gone. The life you thought you knew disappears right before your eyes. You’re staring into the face of someone you don’t know, and it’s a mirror, right? You’re staring at yourself, the person you’re supposed to know, but as you see yourself you realize, you don’t even remember how you got there in the first place.

“One second you’re somewhere else, someone else, and the next you’re being taken away by strangers. You’re told that you are this person now, with this history and that name. You’re a teenager at this point. You’ve never been to school, never been in love, you’ve never seen the world. But one day, you’re just supposed to be. Those people train you, and give you something to do. They raise you. You finally get to see New York City. Great, isn’t it? Empire State Of Mind.”

She earned a couple more laughs.

“In the next move though, the city you used to know is being attacked,” she said. The crowd gasped at the horrible memory of the year 2012 that instantly came to mind. “You’re a kid, right? You don’t know what to do, you just have to function. They trained you for this, this is your purpose. You’re supposed to be a hero. All while you’re just there, running along with it because you still don’t know who you are. Think about it. Who you are and who you’re supposed to be aren’t the same person. And you’re so scared because the sky is opening up and people are dying – you know you have to do something, but you don’t know how. Until you meet this group of six people. They’re supposed to work together the same way you’re just supposed to exist, and they’re not happy about it, so for once in your life, you feel less alone. They have your back, they integrate you. With them, you have the strength and the will to save the world. It’s not just you who’s scared anymore, those six are too and that fear is what makes you stronger. You realize at that moment that you’re that person. You’re right where you want to be. You’re supposed to be a hero, you accept that because you know damn well it’s true.”

Her hands were shaking uncontrollably. She met the eyes of T’Challa. He smiled softly at her. Next to her, the picture opened up. 

“You’re me,” Eliza said. “Those six people are the Avengers and I’m part of that. Or I used to be, anyway. They were my family. SHIELD brought me up, but the Avengers raised me.”

She saw Natasha, the redhead with stars in her eyes. Steve, the man that was tossed into the world the same way she had. Bruce, Thor, Sam, Wanda, Rhodey…

“We made mistakes, I admit that. We wanted to do good but ended up hurting people instead. We did so much damage, too much to count. It was only a matter of time before something like the Accords would happen. This hasn’t been easy on any of us. In the end, we’re all only human. We have feelings. Everyone has their opinion and different reasons for their opinion. You don’t really know what someone’s thinking without talking to them first. There’s an explanation for everything. I learned that. It’s true. We don’t know what drove the others to their decision. We may never know. That’s why I think it’s bad to villainize. They messed up badly, I agree, and I believe feeling the law isn’t the right thing to do. Still, we can’t understand something unless we have all the facts. I don’t agree with what Captain Rogers did, but he was my family. I lost many friends that day. I know the Accords were necessary, I signed them. I still believe they exist for a reason. We needed control because we became reckless over time. It’s better than countless deaths in the name of doing something good,” she said. “I know better than anyone that recovery takes time. Tony needs time. You don’t forget the loss of family that easily and it’s even harder to stomach it when you’re being blamed for everything.” 

Fury was on the other side of the room, Maria next to him. Peter on the right, and Bucky too. Vision was floating somewhere in the air. They all wore black as if they were at a funeral. And so Eliza realized, they were. She was the very person about to lay the Avengers to rest, for good. There was no other choice. The truth hit her so hard, that her stomach twisted painfully. 

“The Avengers are gone, but our legacy will live on.” 

It wasn’t fair. Tony didn’t deserve it. She tasted her heart on her tongue, blood dripping from her teeth. The light was bright, too bright. The air was too thin, her clothes too tight. 

“I’m sorry,” she broke off. The technician took the microphone from her as she fled the stage. 

Rhodey was there, waiting for her. His hands reached for her shoulders, a burning trail. “You did good,” he said, or she thought he said it. She saw his lips move but the sound never reached her ears.

There was water everywhere. She was drowning, lungs filled with liquid instead of air. The voices around sounded like the echo of drums. Boom, boom, boom – the sound settled deep into her brain. 

Eliza flinched away at his touch. It burned, it burned so badly. “Don’t touch me,” she choked out. 

“Kid, where you going?”

She didn’t know. She simply bolted for the door in hopes to catch some oxygen. The people shouted for her. She didn’t slow her steps until she was inside the bathroom.

She barely felt the water on her hands. It ran in cold droplets through the tap. The person staring back in the mirror was a stranger. Wild eyes, sweaty forehead, cheeks as pale as death. She slapped the water against her skin, but the fire only burned more. 

The golden suit jacket weighed at least a hundred pounds. The silk scratched at her skin like rough asphalt. She shrugged it off, in desperate need of any kind of freedom. The walls of the room seemed to crumble in. With every second, they inched in closer. With each heartbeat, the oxygen escaped her lungs in a hurry, leaving nothing behind but dry emptiness that burned deep crescents into her chest. The tissue of her lungs swayed over the scolding flames of a life in shambles. It singed away the flesh, setting whatever air was left on fire in a desperate chemical reaction.

She slid down the wall. The water was up to her head by then. She could barely see through the fog that cornered her vision. Her hands clawed at the skin around her throat, the black tank top, and the tiles that felt like nothing behind her. She couldn’t feel anything solid – the world felt like a void; the more she clawed, the further she fell. The ceiling lowered down on top of her. The box closed in. She curled up, head between her thighs, scared of the world, scared of her mind. The darkness had it out for her, hungry to feed off her corpse, to kill her slowly and intimately by suffocating her, drowning her in the ocean of her very own fallen dreams.

Someone knocked on the door. She heard herself croak out, “No.” Not now. Her voice got caught in a breathless sob. She choked on it.

The door opened anyway. Someone said something and she was sure she recognized the voice, but her mind was barely present and she didn’t dare open her eyes. The world was too close now, squeezing her tighter and tighter and tighter. She needed to get out, needed to escape. By grabbing her limbs, curling in on herself, she hoped to push the world away and preserve herself like cryofreeze. The darkness in her mind was calmer than whatever was happening around her. If she were to die, she wouldn’t want to stare into the void as it sucked the life out of her for good. At least that’s what it felt like – the world trying to drain whatever she thought she had left to give. She was defenseless. 

Her helplessness attracted the creatures of the night, the soul-eaters, the monsters who set out to ruin her. They all had her face. Every demon carried her distinctive features. They ate away at her, grinning, as she was forced to watch. She squeezed her eyes tighter, but even then the walls crashed down on her. The water swallowed her entirely. 

The dark, dangerous ocean had her trapped. The sirens called out on the sturdy sandbanks for her to reach their beautiful hands. She couldn’t see them but she could hear them, loud and clear through the rustling of the waves. She was underwater, floating, but the hands were closer than ever. The sirens threw a lifeline; she reached for it.

She reached for the hand, or the hand reached for her, she wasn’t so sure anymore. The sudden physical contact sent her spiraling. The hands clawed at her not just once; they were everywhere, her mouth open, the water filling her lungs, flooding the desert.  

“Don’t touch me!” she said. Her own voice sounded distant. 

The hands were gone again, quickly, faster than they’d touched her. She tried to breathe, the hold was gone, but she couldn’t focus. She wanted to, wanted to swim to the top, but the water kept pushing her down. She opened her eyes. While the light was shrill, it was better than the endless Dead Sea behind her eyelids. The walls kept caving in, though, through the fog, she could make out the silhouette of a creature before her. It wasn’t one of her demons, no. 

The voice, the face, the beautiful siren – her lifeline sat before her, trying hard to comply with her wish not to touch her. He wanted to claw at her, shake her out of it, but he couldn’t. His eyes were a red swirl into the depths of hell. Her breath hitched if that was even possible, and she inched further back into the tiles.

“Hey,” he said. The red spiral disappeared. “It’s me, it’s me.” He reassured her once, twice, even a third time. 

She saw his eyes through the blur. They seemed so much more human now. Soft, guiding, a safe haven. If she swam fast enough, she could make it to shore and he’d hold her, breathing life back into her. She just had to make it out of the water, out of the restraints dragging her further to the bottom of the sea. 

“Sweetheart, I need you to focus. Focus on your breathing.”

Her head screamed, no! Her mouth opened, squealing it. ‘I can’t.’ She was screaming for help, internally, words betraying her in the real world. 

“Yes, you can. C’mon! Look at me. Right here.” His finger moved. She followed the faint movement until she settled on his face. Tears bubbled out of her eyes like a loose tap. 

“That’s it,” he said. “I’m right here. Focus on me. Tell me– hey, keep your eyes on me!” He instantly reached for her head when it threatened to slack. The darkness lulled her in. “You can do this. Just focus on me. Just like that, there you go. I’m gonna keep my hand there just in case. It’s just me, I promise. I won’t hurt you.”

She believed his sweet voice. She had no other choice.

“Tell me, five things - five things you can see.”

She remembered that. Something familiar. She swallowed, pointing out his face. “You,” she choked out. Her voice sounded so foreign, so far away. 

“Me,” he said, he was smiling. “Good. What else? Four more things. I’ll count with you.” 

She darted her head around. “Sink,” was that even a word?

“Okay, the sink. That’s two.”

“You-“

“You already said that, sweetheart. Focus. What do you see? I need three more things. Wanna help you, alright? Three things.”

She saw the hint of red next to her head. “Glasses,” she said.

“Alright, my glasses.”

“D-door.”

“Hmm, the door.”

“And lights. So many lights.”

Eliza broke into a sob. It was the first thing close to breathing since she stormed into the bathroom. She lowered her head. His hand tilted her cheek back up.

“We’re not done yet,” he said.

She knew him, she recognized him, the name laid on her tongue, and yet she couldn’t call out for him. She merely clasped her hand around his forearm, afraid he might leave.

“Four things you can feel. What can you feel, tell me.”

Her fingers traced over his wrist. “Your pulse,” she said. Her hand trembled. “Y-your breath. The floor,” – she felt it, she knew it was there – “My heart.” And how it was beating so fast, so loud.

“What can you hear?”

“Your voice. Music, I- I think.”

“There’s music,” he assured her, thumb stroking over her skin. “One more, sweetheart.”

She inhaled sharply. “Myself.” The walls slowly backed off. Scared for life, they retreated to where they came from.

As the fog slowly cleared, she anticipated what he was going to say next. “Two things you can smell,” she was right. “You’re doing good, sweetheart,” he said. He never missed a beat with his praise.

Eliza actively smelled the air. She smelled it, she felt it. Her lungs throbbed with the harsh attack. Air filled the empty space. The oxygen burned sweetly. 

“Alcohol,” she smelled. “Flowers.”

“And what can you taste?”

Too aware of the tears that flooded down her cheeks freely, she licked her lips. “Salt.”

Relief washed over her. The ocean dried out. Her lungs filled with oxygen. The black dots vanished from her vision. She was still light-headed but the world finally stopped spinning. Matt knelt before her, brown eyes fixated on the wall next to her head. The worry kept his brows furrowed.

She saw him, truly saw him as if it was the first time and everything just came back at once. The dominos began to roll. More tears pricked her eyes. Her mouth opened in incoherent sounds – hiccups, sobs, pleas. She clutched so tightly onto him, that the suit crinkled between her fingers. She became a part of him, and wanted him to swallow her whole so she would never have to leave again. She needed him closer, melting into her like candle wax.

He whispered soft things into her ear. “I got you,” he said. “I got you. I’m here. It’s okay.”

Funny how he was the only person there for her when she needed it the most.

“Let me get you a glass of water.”

Eliza protested when he let go of her. She wrapped her arms around his thigh. “Don’t leave me,” she pathetically cried.

Matt was quick to assure her. With the glass in hand, he settled back down before her. “Hey, it’s okay,” he wiped her tears. “I’m not leaving you. I’m still here. See?” He took her hand while the other guided the drink to her lips.

She was suddenly so incredibly thirsty. In a matter of seconds, she had emptied the water. He went back to the sink to fill her another one, which she drank just as fast.

“Good girl.”

Without another word, he began to gently clean her face of the smeared makeup. She didn’t question how he did it, she simply enjoyed his hands working her skin gently. It grounded her, knowing she wasn’t alone, knowing he wasn’t pressuring her to talk or do anything else. It was just them in the silence of the bathroom. When he thought he got the worst of it, Matt tossed the paper towels into the trash.

Her muscles slacked. Eliza felt her entire body collapse in itself. She rolled to the side, to the floor. He followed her movement worriedly, hand under her face, cradling her. He shielded her from the hard tiles, her personal lifeguard.

“I’m so tired,” she said. A lonely tear slipped past her lips. “I’m tired of being tired.”

Matt smiled. He lifted her head a little, allowing himself to sit back against the wall. Her cheek landed on the soft fabric of his slacks. He kept stroking her face, her hair, everything he could reach until her heartbeat slowed down. His fingers worked wonders to ease the tension; he had a magic touch that brought her the comfort she needed so desperately.

“He ruined everything. I only ever needed my family and he just… his pride-“ she cried into his pants.

“I know,” he said. “You don’t deserve that. The way he spoke about you… he had no right to say that. He’s so very wrong about so many things, Eliza. I doubt he knows about the damage he’s doing. He considers it self-preservation without even thinking about how this might make you feel.”

“I’m used to this, Matt. Or I should be. This isn’t the first time. I’ve been disappointed before. Every time things get hard, he does something like this. I thought- I thought I was better at this. I thought it couldn’t hurt me anymore but I still care so fucking much. I still want him to see me. He keeps hurting me over and over again and I let it happen. I make the same mistake every damn time. How can I be so fucking stupid?” 

“You’re not stupid. You just need someone to take care of you. You’re afraid he’ll leave you for good if you don’t try to keep him around-”

“Everyone else did.”

“Eliza-“

“You wanted to leave me too. Everybody does. I should be used to it. I should know better. There’s a reason this happens time and time again, but I won’t learn. I’m so foolish, God!” Despite her words, she dug her nails further into his thigh. He held on tighter, too.

“I was wrong,” Matt said. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was just scared. After what happened, I-“

“I need you,” the statement was barely audible.

His hand stilled. “Need me?”

“I don’t know why or how but I need you, Matt. Everything hurts. My heart burns. I can’t-“

“What do you need me to do?”

“Just hold me, please. Help me not to break apart. I don’t know. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t fight, I can’t breathe, I… I need you to hold me and tell me everything’s gonna be fine because I’m so tired.” She broke off into a breathy sob. “I’m so fucking tired, Matt. I don’t want to be alone. I can’t.”

“It’s okay. Just keep breathing. I got you.”

She nodded against his thigh, tears staining his slacks darker. “Thank you,” the words came between shakes.

He shifted to get out of his suit jacket. Eliza shivered as it went around her bare shoulders. It smelled like him. “Put this on,” he nudged gently. “Lift your arms for me.”

Her limbs were heavy. She strained. The cotton almost swallowed her whole.

“There you go. Better?”

She nodded.

“Good. Take what you need. I’m here.”

She hugged his jacket tighter. They became one.

The silence slowly became deafening. It was comfortable at first, but the more she listened to his heart, the more her thoughts began to spiral. 

“Would you’ve kissed me?” she asked.

Matt tilted his head. “What?”

“Would you’ve kissed me? If I’d initiated it, I mean. Or would you’ve left, like you were planning to?”

He paused. His breath hitched. The legs underneath her shifted slightly. Eliza lifted her head. She slowly got back up, every muscle aching, but she wanted to look at him. She wanted to look into his eyes as she anticipated the answer.

He shuddered at the loss of her warmth. The smell of her mixed with his now further away. “Yeah,” he said.

“Yeah, what? You would’ve kissed me or you would’ve left?”

“You’re not gonna like my answer.”

“So, the latter.” The first crack ran through her heart.

“No, both.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that if I’d kissed you, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. You don’t deserve to be treated like a toy that’s just being passed around.”

“You wouldn’t be the first person to do that,” she said.

“That’s the thing. I would never do that to you, Eliza. Never. You're not an object and you’re not a toy. From what I can tell, you’re capable of taking care of yourself. I’m gonna leave the fragility thing for you to judge. I mean, I can’t see you.” 

Eliza’s mouth opened in surprise. “Did you just make a joke?”

He laughed, eyes crinkling. “Yeah, that was a bad one. Sorry.”

“No, it wasn’t,” she chuckled. “It’s just that people don’t usually joke about my problems other than myself.”

“We both have issues,” he stated. “Would be weird if we didn’t laugh about it. Why else would God have made us this way?”

“Ah, here comes the catholic. Good one.”

“Joking about trauma makes the magnitude of pain easier to bare.”

She placed her forehead on his shoulder. His scent filled her nose, filled her mind to the top. He tilted his head to the side, cheek running over her hair. His nose was buried so deep, that he felt and smelled every last bit of her.

“Thank you,” she said, muffled through the fabric of his dress shirt.

He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. She barely felt it, only the ghost of his breath and slight wetness reminded her of this small gesture. Her heart skipped a beat. She was incapable of controlling it, her body just reacted. Her nose lifted to muzzle into his cheek. He exhaled, shaking, eyelids fluttered close.

“What if I were to kiss you right now?” she asked, barely breathing the words. She felt desperate, empty, and alone – he was the only one that could fill her needs one by one. He was the comfort she sought.

He chuckled breathlessly against her. “You won’t,” he said.

“I might.”

“You won’t. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re sad and confused. You crave touch more than anything right now. Your brain is probably foggy. You’re not lucid enough to make conscious decisions and doing anything other than hug you would be me taking advantage of you and I wouldn’t be able to live myself.”

Instead, she pressed her lips against the stubble around his jaw. “I like you,” she whispered into him then.

He placed one hand against her throat, foreheads touching once again. He kept it there, holding her flush against him. His hand didn’t apply pressure, he just stroked along her pulse point, grounding them both.

“I like you too,” he whispered back.

She sighed. “I should go home. Happy’s probably looking for me and I really can’t talk to Tony right now.”

“Let me take you.”

“No, I’m fine on my own.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“I want to. Please. I just need to get out of here, clear my head.”

She distanced herself. Matt followed her face with his unseeing eyes, making sure she wasn’t lying as she spoke. Once he was positive she was telling the truth, simply uttering her wishes, he nodded, still hesitantly.

“Can you hand me my glasses?” he asked.

Eliza reached for them, slipping them back on his face. “I like your eyes,” she said. “But I understand why you wear them.”

“People stare,” he said.

“I know. You have nothing to be ashamed of though.”

“Thanks. I, uh, appreciate it.”

She stood up on wobbly legs, grabbing her heels from the corner she tossed them in. Her suit jacket came close behind. She slapped the dirt off. 

“Here,” she attempted to slip out of Matt’s piece of clothing.

He lifted his hand, halting her movements. “Keep it,” he said. “It’s cold outside.”

“That is so cliché,” she said.

“Just worried about you.”

“I know and I appreciate that, but I can’t take your jacket. You’re gonna freeze.”

“I’m a big boy, cold doesn’t bother me.”

“What are you, Elsa?”

“If that makes me a Disney princess, sure.”

She snorted. “Can’t talk you out of this one, huh?” She played with the fabric of his suit absentmindedly. It was soft, freshly washed, and ironed. His scent was all over the fabric, mixed with whatever natural laundry detergent he used.

Matt shook his head. “No. You’re stuck with it now.”

“Okay then. I promise to bring it back to you tomorrow.”

“No rush. I have several suits in my closet.”

“Here I was, thinking you were gonna say bodies.”

He laughed, going in for a hug. She took his offer gladly. He was calm and comfortable in her presence. She held onto him tighter, hoping to keep him inside for just a little longer. 

“Call a cab,” he said. “Text me when you get home. I need to know you’re alright. If anything happens, call me.”

“I’m gonna be fine,” she assured him. 

“I know, just wanna make sure.”

She smiled. “Go back to the party. Have fun. And if anyone asks, you haven’t seen me.”

“My mouth’s closed.”

“Thank you.”

Eliza touched the door handle. “One more thing,” she said and turned around to face him. “You’re a good person, Matt.”

He leaned back for a moment, surprised at the sudden confession. His cane stood pressed to his chest as if it was the only thing keeping him upright. “How do you know?” he asked.

“I just do.” She opened the door. “Have a good night, Matthew.”

“You too, Eliza,” he smiled. “Take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

She hailed herself a cab home. The driver didn’t say anything. He didn’t comment on the smudged makeup or the suit jacket she buried herself in. Even as she silently cried in the backseat, trying her hardest to keep from sobbing, he didn’t speak. Once or twice he glanced back, worried, but his eyes returned to the road in an instant. 

Her apartment was dead silent. The loneliness engulfed her in a tight hug. In the back of her head, she knew Daredevil was about to come around sometime that night. It was only eleven then. 

Eliza lay down on her sofa. She didn’t even bother to turn the lights on. She hugged Matt’s suit jacket tightly around herself, letting the warmth relax her muscles. She was oh so tired. The night seemed less frightening to him.

Her eyelids fluttered closed, the tiredness taking over. Tony’s words, the speech, the eyes of the people in the crowd, and the pictures of her lost friends haunted her. She felt guilty, dragging Matt into her mess. He’d felt the need to take care of her like he had no other choice but to act. Everyone did. 

He was probably still worried, not quite able to understand what happened. She should’ve never allowed him to take care of her, but deep down she knew damn well that he was the only one who cared to help. She needed someone, anyone; it just turned out to be him at that moment. 

She wasn’t sure how long she slept. In hindsight, it must’ve been half an hour or two until it happened. A cold breeze reached through the window. Eliza opened her eyes. She was sure she’d closed the window before she even left the apartment, and it was still closed when she lay down. The floor tiles creaked. The sound wouldn’t have been audible to the untrained ear, but she heard it, loud and clear. This wasn’t paranoia or a bad dream. She was wide awake and aware that someone was in her apartment. Not only did the sounds give it away but the energy of another soul in the room hammered hard against her own.

She caught a glimpse of an empty wine bottle next to the sofa. Her gun was in the kitchen, it was too much of a stretch. Carefully, she reached for the glass. The tiles creaked louder. A whiff of cologne filled her nose. He came closer.

Eliza rolled off the leather, quick on her feet, pointing the makeshift weapon into the darkness. The silhouette halted. She barely saw him, the moonlight blocked by her own figure. 

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Are you using a wine bottle as a weapon?” he asked in return. The voice sounded familiar, but the adrenaline made it hard to pinpoint.

“The question is, why aren’t you using a wine bottle as a weapon?”

“What are you gonna do, Angel, stab me with it?”

She lowered the weapon. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

He chuckled breathlessly. “I’m not,” the words were barely out before his stance shifted and he fell face-first to the floor.

Eliza jumped in the air. “Jesus Christ!” She fumbled for the light switch.

Daredevil lay in her entrance hall. She should’ve put two and two together right then, but Eliza wouldn’t have been Eliza if she saw through the easiest of riddles without making it complicated first. His outfit was different. He wore a dress shirt with matching black slacks. Instead of his mask, he wore something that seemed like a scarf wrapped around the upper part of his head. Blood soaked through the white at the back. Beneath him, even more, blood came pooling out.

She methodically checked if he was alright to move. He protested, the pain of being shoved onto his back far too great to stay unconscious. His lips parted.

“Fuck!” Eliza cried out.

The white shirt was shredded, with deep cuts torn through at least five places. She couldn’t possibly tell in how many places the fabric was cut through. The blood was everywhere. It seeped through the white like a sponge. The dark red traveled all over his torso. In the shredded parts on the shirt, the blood came spurting like straight out of a geyser. The cuts went deep, deep into his skin, further than they should've been, drawing everything his heart had left out of him. 

She placed two fingers against his throat. His pulse was weak. The thudding was faint. His heart seemed to be weak from pumping all the blood while losing it to the many incisions littered all over his flesh. Looking further, a thick trail ran down his face from underneath the mask. Blood colored his cheeks red. Some droplets made their way back into his body by passing his lips. He licked it away weakly.

“What the fuck happened?” she asked.

He frowned at the unusually high sound of her voice. “Got into a fight,” he said.

“This wasn’t a fight! You were straight-up impaled. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m gonna be fine. I just…”

“You should be in the hospital right now. I’m calling an ambulance.”

He grabbed her wrist harshly. “No! No hospitals,” he panted. “I need you- I need you to do it.”

Eliza bit her lip. The voice, the outfit – the blood was distracting, sure, but her mind kept reeling about the face behind the mask. The small voice that kept saying ‘it’s not possible’ turned from loud screams into nothing but a quiet, unsure affirmation. She’d always been exceptionally good at lying to herself, but this denial was a new high, even for her. The truth lay right before her eyes, yet she didn’t want to believe it. She tried listening to the small voice instead of the big one throwing names at her. Emphasis on tried. 

She sat back on her heels, heart heavy in her chest. The thoughts incapacitated her, paralyzing her. She forgot to breathe.

“What’s wrong?” he choked out.

She didn’t move.

“Angel?”

“Take your mask off,” she said.

“What?”

“Take your mask off. I need to see your face.”

He shook his head weakly. “No.”

“I need to,“ - she shuddered -“I need to know. I need you to show me I’m wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I may be young, but I’m not stupid. Take it off !”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Say it.”

He only sighed. 

Eliza, exasperated, took matters into her own hands. She reached for his head. 

“Don’t,” he struggled.

“No, I refuse to be lied to,” she said and slapped his weak hands away. “This is on you.” She pulled the mask off.

He really believed she was stupid enough to never figure it out. Even worse was that if he hadn’t shown up the way he did, she probably wouldn’t have, and it completely destroyed her. Her eyes watered. The truth hurt more than she anticipated. It drilled into her bones and settled in like a bad disease.

Brown eyes stared upwards. He knew what he’d done, she saw it in the depths of his irises, the doors to his soul. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Eliza squeezed the tears away. She wasn’t going to do this, she wasn’t going to show him how much this hurt her. She thought her world had crumbled once, that it wasn’t possible to ruin her anymore, but she’d been wrong. This hurt, bad. The realization that he really lied to her, all this time, leading two lives and playing with her - it was all too much.

“Save it, Matthew,” she said.

“Eliza-“

“No! Whatever pathetic excuse you have, I don’t want to hear it.”

She opened his shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“Making sure you don’t die,” she said. “And then you’re gonna tell me the truth because I’m done being disappointed by the people I care about.”

“Please." He reached for her hand. “I never meant to lie to you.”

She glared at him. Could he see it? Matt was supposed to be blind. He wasn’t supposed to go out at night and beat up criminals. Her thoughts drove in circles. How could she have been so naïve and not realized it sooner? She should've felt it. She should've known he was one and the same person. Both men turned her world upside-down. She didn't want to believe it, perhaps she tricker herself for the very same reason she used to refuse to see the faults in her family - she didn't want to be disappointed or lose them or even both. She didn't want to be hurt again. Her heart was barely healed from what she went through. She knew another hit could be fatal. She should've known because now that the truth was out, she felt nothing but shame and regret. Death would've been much kinder than the monstrosity that was the realization of the man she cared so deeply about turning out to be someone else entirely. 

“I thought you were different.”

The words cut sharper than the knife that stabbed him.

Matt had been in pain many times before that very moment. He’d been stabbed, shot, and beaten. Eventually, he got used to the pain and numb to the feeling. The magnitude of the situation didn't een come close to what he experienced before. It was the kind of pain that you were not prepared for. You can't prepare for something like that. The pain tore him up from the inside out. All the guilt he appointed himself saw his soul as the last feast he would ever have. He couldn’t see her face, but the pain in her eyes was visible even without sight. Even without his super senses, he could've told that the look on her face was pure agony. She wasn't scolding him or ready to beat him up - honestly, it would've been better than whatever he had to face. He hurt her, badly, and in return, he hurt himself. Her disappointment melting into unwanted rejection caused him the kind of pain that turned into self-hatred in its purest essence. He wanted to reach for her, hug her, cry into her shoulder how sorry he was, but she was distant. Not only emotionally but physically. She made sure to put enough distance between them so she didn't have to look too closely at him, afraid of what she might have done if she had taken the time to analyze him closer. Her heartbeat was calm - too calm - and her breathing burned even hotter on his skin. The lack of a proper reaction was worse than any emotional breakdown he expected her to show. He had planned for her to find out on her own terms, in a setting that was more comfortable and with enough time to explain. He wanted to control the damage he knew even back then he would inevitably cause because he was Matt Murdock, after all. He sabotaged everything in his way.

Eliza reacted the only way she knew how to, not at all. She only touched him where it was necessary to fix his wounds. She refused to look him in the eyes. For a second, she even considered not helping him at all. The evil part of her brain that used to be her standard of thought urged her to stop and let him suffer. It wanted him to bleed out the way her heart was slowly dying inside her chest. She wanted him to feel all the pain and more because the villain in her mind couldn't stand the thought of being hurt anymore than she already was. But this wasn't her anymore. She wasn't cruel. She was raised into a teenager by people who wanted her to be always kind. She tried to be understanding in the worst situations. Though it was hard to remain composure after something as heavy as this revelation came to light. 

Her heart was millions of feet away from when he last touched her. 

It was then Matt realized that whatever he dared to touch would eventually rot under his fingers, no matter how hard he tried to keep his lives separate. Daredevil wasn’t the reason his life went to shit, it was Matt Murdock who set out to ruin everything. He had no one else to blame but himself. Not even Daredevil could protect him from the addiction to hurting himself by screwing up over and over again until he was all alone with no one left to love him.

He desperately reached another hand out to her. Maybe it was all a bad dream. He needed more than just her fingertips to assert her presence. He needed to know she was still there.

She wasn't. 

"Eliza," he said softly.

Her entire body jolted backward. "Don't touch me!" the demand was quiet yet harsh; to his ears, she was screaming. 

He let his fingers fall back beside his mangled body. "Sorry," he said. 

"Sorry won't fix this."

Sorry won't fix this. The words repeated in his mind over and over again. It wasn't the first time he heard something like that being said to him. He leaned his head back, neck bent over the back of the sofa. The material was rough underneath his now bare skin. It scraped and scratched him. He was in pain, simply hurting all over without a second to breathe. Matt knew then that he deserved it. He deserved every last ounce of pain he was in. Even if it had stopped, he would've been willing to do anything to make him bleed again just so he could suffer. He was a masochist of the highest order. He didn't get off on it, not this time. He wanted to feel pain because he hurt someone he deeply cared about. He wanted to rip his skin off and burn the remaining flesh over an open flame until he was screaming. He deserved it. The pain was only proof of the kind of man he really was. 

She called him a good person before, he told her he wasn't, but she insisted there was hope for him after all. He had been foolish to believe her. She had been foolish to have faith in the words herself. But most importantly, she had been blind. She had been too blind to see the truth that was right in front of her eyes and for that alone, she wanted to follow this man to hell. There was nowhere else she would end up than the fiery pit beneath humanity. He surely wasn't going to heaven. 

Sorry won't fix this. Matt wasn't easily scared, but this one scared him plenty. There was a high chance she meant it. And if there was no recovery from the truth this time, what else did he has left but the broken pieces of the life he destroyed for himself?

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Magnolia Blues--Chapter 1: Meetings

Esmeralda 'Jo' Jones is new in town, but has already been building big dreams for herself. Eddie Munson knows that the path in his life leads him to just west of 'Nowhere Fast' as he's no stranger to the circumstances and how they don't always work out for some people. When Jo and Eddie meet, it seems like a spark that may or may not catch. But the slowest loves are the ones that mean and hurt the worst.

Black OC X Eddie Munson.

NOTE: All canonical deaths still stand. The gore is NOT described as the main focus in the romance.

Chapter 2-- Butterflies and Strawberries | Chapter 3--The Vortex Meets a Magnolia | Chapter 4--Action Vs. Reaction | Chapter 5--Sights Ahead: When Clouds Meet The Ground | Chapter 6--Psychic: Damage and Healing (Final Part)

Bonus: Deleted Scenes (Fluff, fluff, and fluff)

Being new somewhere isn’t a bad thing. It’s not even quite a good thing either, in the reality of the larger context. Being new somewhere is not a natural part of life. One could be new to a job, new to a country, new to a state. Newness is simply a part of existence. And yet, as Jo steps through the doors of Hawkins High there is an inexplicable and instantaneous feeling that being new in this town would come with its own price. Heads turn. People’s voices drop. She is new and there is no escaping it. 

The pop of her gum echoes and Jo hikes the strap of her bag higher up on her shoulder before turning on her heel to find the office. Lucas watches her go. “If you get lost, I can help!” he hollers. 

“Thanks,” Jo shouts back over her shoulder. 

It feels silly. The freshman is offering to show her around, but her parents had become friends with Sinclair's parents and Jo had by default become acquaintances with Lucas and Erica. She wouldn’t call them friends, but being of the few black people in the small town, being close and sticky together was a necessity. Granted most of the summer, Jo helped unpack. Occasionally she went downtown. Most of it was hollow. From what she gathered the mall was the reason for the emptiness. But even in the time since she’d moved into two the mall was still under repairs from the fire. In the weeks leading up to the move, Jo had done her best to keep up on Hawkins, Indiana. Occasionally it made headlines--government cover ups, mall fires. It raised her eyebrows but not her parents. Not that she could fault them--the move was to help put her father closer to the new operations center for the distribution center he worked for. It was all someone else’s fault. It was Big Brother, or The Man, or a faulty government taking advantage of a small town.  

The office door shuts behind Jo and she shakes her wrist to bring the assortment of bangles down back to their proper position. 

“Good morning,” the secretary greets warmly. 

“Morning,” Jo returns. “I’m Esmeralda Jones. My parents enrolled me in July. I just need my final schedule.” The sound of her full first name is weird against her ears. No one, not even her parents, called her Esmeralda--save her being in some sort of trouble. She was and is always Jo. 

The slender woman in the tweed suit nods. “Of course, of course.” She shuffles some papers on the desk and then unearths a half sheet of paper. “Looks like History is your first class of the day. On the bottom here,” the lady points to the swirled handwriting, “that’s your locker number and combination. It’s in the two hundred hall. Do you want some help finding it?”

Jo shakes her head. “No, I think I can find my way. Thanks though, ma’am. It’s much appreciated.” Jo gives a brief smile and then turns back to the door. The curls--looser than her normal texture thanks to the rod set- lift just a little with the action. Her mother wasn’t fond of Jo’s attempt to replicate a jerry curl on her own, but there wasn’t much to be done about it now. 

Jo continues on down the hall and though she does spy Lucas with some of his friends and she thinks she hears him calling for him, she doesn’t stop. She waltzes herself down to her locker number, tries the combination and drops off the spare binders she brought. She slips her schedule into the front of one, beneath the clear plastic so she knows she won’t lose it and then shuffles down to the classroom. 

All the while, she feels every stare burning into the back of her neck. Being new, she thinks, will surely prove to be interesting. 

Inside the classroom, she settles in the back, leaving a one desk gap. The body that fills the seat on the opposite side of the gap barely risks a glance at her. His head stays buried in his book, the curls acting as a barrier or maybe even a signal to stay away. His fingers tap something out, like a drumline, on the desk as he scans the depths of the pages. Jo slips the bag from her shoulder and takes in the brown curls and silver rings. 

“Leather and denim--making a statement, aren’t you?” Jo teases. The warning, she does not heed, mostly because she can’t avoid the obvious counter signal to stand out to be seen. 

“Too obvious I know. I scream, look at me. I scream desperate for attention, right?” A soft smile grazes his face as he laughs at his own depreciation. “Eddie,” the boy offers, extending out his hand. 

“Jo,” she returns, shaking the extended hand. 

Eddie scoffs. “And if you are going to have judgments about my dress, I think your taste in bracelets is blinding to say the least.”

“Say the most then.”

“You too scream look at me. You, too, scream I am desperate for attention.”

“It’s called teenage rebellion.”

Eddie laughs. “And what exactly are you rebelling against? Because from where I’m sitting I think I could mistake you for every girl trying to copy Madonna right now.”

“At least give me Janet Jackson,” Jo huffs in return. 

“Fine, since you’re yanking on my leg, I’ll give you Janet Jackson. You look like every girl trying to copy Janet Jackson, Jo.”

“Much appreciated, Eddie.” They only hold the grins for a moment longer before Job starts to dig for a pen in her bag and Eddie slowly gravitates back to the manual in front of him. But he watches, only for a second or so at a time, at the way she slips down into the chair. The way she watches the board like it’s the most interesting thing in the galaxy around them. But Eddie can’t let himself fully admit his intrigue. But he’s pleasantly surprised and he will admit that. 

[soulmate-game]

part 2 (of that new bio!dad fic)

Dick whipped his head over to Bruce, who could feel the heavy gazes of all his children as if they were physical. If they had had heat vision like Clark, he would have already been reduced to a puddle of mush. Bruce shifted, the only sign of his discomfort, but he recognized that the middle of a gala was no place for this discussion. There were too many busybodies trying to listen in for the latest gossip. So he plastered on a smile that he couldn’t quite feel, and held a hand out to Marinette. He was careful to keep a good distance though, and left the choice for contant purely up to her.

The young woman looked down at his hand, then back to his face. Damian had been shocked silent by what she had to say, and perhaps even more by the all too telling way that Bruce hadn’t so much as implied that she was lying, and the look he was giving her was making her a little uncomfortable. Yes, she hadn’t planned on interacting with her father more than just the years-overdue confrontation she had just done, at least not while at the gala… but her plans always left room for improvisation. She could make this work.

With a soft sigh, Marinette extended her own hand— half the size of Bruce’s, he noted almost immediately with a rush of illogical fondness— and grasped his lightly. She couldn’t help but notice the way his impossibly blue eyes brightened, no different than her own when she was particularly happy, or the way his mouth twitched with a barely suppressed beam. Instead, he controlled himself enough so that the only smile he gave would look professional and entirely in character to the nosy socialites still spying on them, and led them out onto the dance floor.

What everyone else saw was the unfairly charming Bruce Wayne giving his young guest of honor a simple dance. Just a basic swirl around the floor that every other social elite had learned when they were five. Clearly he was taking it easy on the self-made girl, who probably didn’t have experience with such dances. Humoring the accomplished young woman with his approval for a moment before he would slink back to his family or patrol the crowds and make the necessary greetings and meaningless chatter.

What his family saw was Bruce taking time to slow his steps, not for Marinette to keep up but rather to prolong the event. What they saw was the grace in Marinette’s steps as she never once faltered, and that Bruce was careful to take his cues from her instead of the other way around. He only led the dance in technicality, Marinette had all the real control.

What they saw was a father’s first dance with his daughter.

“Eighteen,” Dick whispered, eyebrows drawn low. “She said she’s almost eighteen.”

“Well, that lines up doesn’t it?” Jason asked gruffly, his own gaze never leaving the dancing duo. “We were planning on doubling up your big thirtieth birthday party as your eighteenth adoption anniversary,” he reminded his brother, who just made a slightly distressed noise in the back of his throat. Whether it was at the reinforcement of his adoption coming only months after Marinette being put up for adoption, or the fact that he was turning thirty, nobody could really tell.

“Hurt,” Cassandra spoke up from behind them, looking incredibly concerned as she watched the dance. “Uncertain.”

Stephany rolled her eyes, fidgeting from her quickly building energy. Anger was making her restless. “Of course she’s hurt. Bruce replaced her, with a boy he knew virtually nothing about, not even that long after she was born. How do you think that made her feel, when she found out?” Stephany let out a little growl, grabbing a flute of champagne from a passing server and downing it in one gulp. She ignored Dick protesting that she wasn’t of age yet, which made her wrinkle her nose. “Only one more year, Dickhead. Get over it, I need the buzz.”

“Well,” Barbara sighed and maneuvered her wheelchair around the group so that everyone could see her. “Nothing we can do right now but be supportive and watch Bruce like a hawk so he doesn’t make this worse,” she stated easily, not looking even the least bit ruffled by the news despite the disturbed glitter in her eyes.

“... Guys,” Tim spoke up, not looking at any of them. “Who wants to volunteer for Damian duty?” At first glance, it might seem like Tim was thinking about his own first disastrous meeting with the younger boy. Once everyone paid attention though, they could see that the truth was that Damian had snuck away and Tim was pointedly looking at a slightly hidden-away staircase to the second floor.

“Shit,” Dick muttered, but before he could say another word Jason shoved him back and started towards the stairs.

“No, not this time Dicky. I’ll talk to the brat.”

Back on the dancefloor, Bruce and Marinette broke away without any fanfare at the end of the song. If Bruce tried to hold her eyes for a moment too long, nobody noticed besides his observant children, and two of Marinette’s protective friends.

Then, just to make sure that nobody caught on with the help of hindsight, Bruce said something vaguely polite and praising, which Marinette accepted with flawless, distant poise. And they went back to their own groups, Bruce quickly noting that two of his sons were missing. He raised an eyebrow, about to ask why when a presence behind him caught his attention. Unlike Marinette and Chloe, this newcomer was not at all trying to hide their approach or be sneaky about it, even though Bruce couldn’t hear any footsteps that were close enough to belong to the mysterious entity. Closing his mouth, Bruce turned around only to be greeted by yet another vaguely familiar face. Bright green eyes bore into his, unreadable.

“Mister Wayne,” the newcomer greeted, voice warm but stiff. If the Waynes hadn’t all had years of recognizing when a person was only pretending to be cordial, they never would have suspected that the boy was anything but pure-heartedly happy to be there. But they did have that experience, and thus they instantly honed in on the very well-hidden fact that he had a bone to pick with them. Or, more probably, with Bruce.

He cut an impressive figure, for all that he was lithe muscle instead of bulk. Hair that was lighter than Chloe’s, less like cloth-of-gold and more like sunlight glinting off of wheatfields. It somehow hung in gravity-defying tufts, yet perfectly arranged to evoke a calming aesthetic. Like the fluff of a long-haired cat, almost, and it looked just as fluffy and hypnotizing. It contrasted with his emerald eyes, impossibly vibrant in their gleam. And the suit he wore was decidedly top-notch, much like the other two they had met from his class. He was daring, in a dark silver suit that slightly shifted in the light, green accents that matched his eyes standing out strikingly against the collars and trim, and coiling in tantalizing swirls at the cuffs. The lining of the suit jacket was done in a dark green that could almost pass for black in the right lighting, adding a layer of both drama and mystery as it peeked out at the back of his collar, the insides of his sleeves if he moved just the right way, at the bottom hem of the jacket when he turned or bent just so. And with his notoriety in the modeling world? He always knew exactly how to move or place himself to get the reactions he wanted. And he was clearly showing off the craftsmanship of his suit just then as he faked adjusting his cufflinks and lifted his head just the right amount to both look challenging and let the dark green on the back of his collar flash in the light in such a way that Bruce and those nearest him wouldn’t be able to miss the brief reveal of color.

“Adrien Agreste,” Bruce greeted back, eyebrows pulling down in slight confusion. Normally the topic of clothing was far from his genuine interest, but in this particular case it was an intriguing, and possibly even concerning, observation. So he said next; “That suit is not of your father’s usual style of design.”

Adrien scoffed, straightening out his suit’s jacket and making the obsidian buttons glint. “Of course not. I’ve started my rebellious phase— or, well, I finally started being blatant enough about it that my father noticed anyway,” the way his lips curled was decidedly not very attractive, but painted a vivid picture of a son who despised the way he was treated. Adrien quickly wiped the distasteful expression away and replaced it with a camera-ready smile. “I’m wearing one of Marinette’s designs, much to his chagrin. She insisted on making this for me as soon as she heard that my father was planning on sending me in a white suit.”

Bruce quickly caught on, and sighed. How long would the gala go on for, again? He didn’t remember what time it was anymore. “Your friend Chloe already got a pretty clear warning in. I suppose you know as well?”

Adrien’s grin darkened with mischief, and he nodded all too happily. “Of course! Marinette told me almost as soon as she found out, a few years ago. You see, we had to put down a very solid rule about secrets between the two of us. She has a bad habit of trying to shoulder the entire world’s problems and not tell anyone about it, if you don’t pay close enough attention,” his voice was deceptively light but his eyes were hard, warning. “And let’s just say, I have a lot of experience with bad father figures. I can recognize them a mile away by now. The signs of neglect, of apathy,” his eyes suddenly lightened when he saw how Bruce’s throat visibly caught, how the man didn’t seem to realize he had stopped breathing. Maybe he was being a little to mean, Adrien thought. So he let the dark slip out of his eyes, and his smile turned more genuine. “You don’t have those signs. You looked at Marinette like you were both the happiest and most miserable man in the world at the same time. But you can’t change what you did to her, Mister Wayne. If you want some advice from Marinette’s oldest friend?” Adrien held out a closed fist.

Bruce took a second to realize what was happening, too busy trying to recover from his situational whiplash and wave of relief. Once he caught back up to the present, however, he held out his open palm and let Adrien drop something into his hand.

To his shock, it was a pen, engraved with the name he recognized as Marinette’s biological mother. He also recognized it as a popular model of pen-knife. He raised his eyes to Adrien, who winked.

“Marinette doesn’t know I had this made. And she has a lot of tricks that might surprise you, but what she wants more than anything is stability. If you try to give her that, show that you care and you want her safe— and then prove that you’re gonna stay— then maybe you can repair the damage you’ve done. It won’t be easy though, Mari is the single most stubborn person I’ve ever met. And I grew up with Chloe.”

Bruce closed his hand around the pen, swallowing a lump in his throat. He couldn’t quite figure out why, but Adrien’s faith in him and his help… somehow felt significant. He nodded to the young model.

“Not to worry, I have experience with stubborn,” he glanced back at his other kids with a small smirk. None of them were the least bit repentant. “And I do want to stay. Thank you for the advice.”

Adrien shrugged. “Don’t thank me. If you hurt her again, you’ll never see my revenge coming. It can be rather… catastrophic,” with that ominous threat, Adrien bowed dramatically and turned to leave and do some rounds charming the elites. Bruce tucked the pen in one of his hidden pockets, but stayed silent after that. He had a lot to mull over.

—*—*—*—*—*

Damian leaned on the railing of the balcony, looking out over the gardens behind the gala’s venue. He was glaring at nothing, and his hands trembled from where they gripped the rail. It was five minutes, a little longer than he had expected but not that odd considering everyone’s distraction over Marinette, before he heard the glass doors behind him creak open.

“Yo,” Jason greeted, knowing it was better not to catch the boy off guard. None of them were good with surprises anymore, for good reason. It was always best to announce their presence before they made someone react violently on accident. Damian’s shoulders relaxed a little— not a lot, but enough for Jason to notice. The older man sighed, walking up and leaning on the rail next to his little brother. “What’s on your mind, kid?”

“That could have been me,” he almost instantly blurted. It was still hard talking about his feelings, but certain things were easier with Todd. This was, apparently, one of them. “If Mother hadn’t kept me a secret.”

“I don’t think so,” Jason disagreed, shrugging. “There are several big differences here. For one, Marinette was born three years before you were. By the time you were born, he already had Dick and he would have only been a year, max, away from taking me in. Which means he already had built up his problem with taking in kids, and nothing would have gotten him to give up a chance at raising you. With or without Batman getting in the way.”

“But then why—” Damian growled. “Why did he give her up?”

“Because he’s an idiot,” Jason remarked bluntly. “You know how he is. He didn’t have a kid at the time. Hell, Bruce would have only been twenty-two back then. He only adopted Dick on impulse because Dick reminded him of himself, but before all of that shit? He probably made a million excuses about not being able to raise a baby and be Batman at the same time. About his life being too dangerous for a kid. Which, yes it is, but that clearly didn’t stop him later.”

“She’s older,” Damian muttered, this time softer.

“Yup.”

“Her mother wasn’t an assassin, probably. She designs. I hate to admit it, and you are never to repeat it to anybody, but her work that we’ve seen so far is impressive. She can clearly charm even the most stuck-up of gotham’s upper crust.”

“Yeah,” Jason agreed neutrally, his eyes never leaving Damian.

“Father won’t need me. He already doesn’t have much patience—” Damian was cut off by a flick to the nose. “Hey!”

“Not my fault you’re being stupid,” Jason defended himself. “Look, B’s actually been real patient with you these past few years. I mean, when was the last time he yelled at you? Or told you that stupid ‘justice not vengeance’ line?”

Damian opened his mouth, then closed it. After another moment, he replied; “Almost two years.”

Jason nodded. “It might take him way too long, but he can still learn new tricks. Especially after that mess with Heretic, he’s been trying really hard to be better to you. He still screws up, because I think we all know by now that he’s a bigger mess than any of the rest of us and that’s an accomplishment, but he’s trying. He doesn’t keep you around because he needs you. He’s got plenty of us around if all he wanted was soldiers— though none of us would stick around if we thought that’s all he wanted.”

Damian flexed his jaw. He was still the most violent of the kids, besides Jason. He saw Bruce rubbing his forehead or pinching his nose far too often at some of his decisions or comments. He was stubborn, impatient, reckless.

But hadn’t Bruce himself told him on several occasions that he wasn’t trying to make him a perfect soldier? Hadn’t Bruce himself said that he just wanted Damian to grow into himself?

It was just really hard to swat away those stupid voices in Damian’s head. Voices of the past, mostly, old dialogue he had never actually forgotten. That he merely pretended had never affected him. The “you’re too violent”s, the “that’s not how we behave, Damian”s. All the old lectures, the old fights. They echoed like stupid little gremlins of doubt.

“...Marinette has his eyes.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over something like that,” Jason’s voice was soft, but gruff at the same time as he cuffed Damian over the head. “You didn’t choose to be born, idiot. And despite being a little demon, none of us would reverse it, You’ve saved all our skins at least once. And besides,” he nudged Damian a little with a grin. “You’re not half bad, nowadays.”

Damian chuckled. “That makes one of us.”

“Hey!”

@peterxwade24 @mizzy-pop @maskedpainter @ladybug-182 @khneltea @itsmeevie01 @fusser90 @woe-is-me0 @lolieg @moonlightstar64 @jayjayspixiepop

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi JWB! First of all, I just want to say I love your blog, I spent hours going through all your posts and gifsets!!! Thanks for keeping IPKKND fandom alive and helping us all to continue rabba ve-ing all these years later lol. I had a question, that occured to me during my recent rewatch of the show, I'd love to hear your answer to it! My question is about what, exactly, Arnav thinks about Khushi in their initial interactions and office track, because I find his behavior a bit contradictory. He keeps insinuating she could do anything for money, is character less (giri hui), likes attention (likes to come on tv), and says all that stuff about tum jaisi ladki (girls like you) and all that. Basically he seems to think she's some corporate spy, honey trap, trying to seduce him etc (unconsciously betraying where HIS thoughts are - like when he accuses her of trapping other men, like which men has she already trapped then ASR? lmao). But at the same time, he also understands that because of her background she is actually very modest and in fact tries to exploit that as a weakness by setting her tasks like taking male models' measurements, asking her to wear that short blue dress in the photoshoot, betting on the fact that she won't be comfortable doing those things. But how does he reconcile these two contradictory opinions? Either she's an attention-seeking honey trap/gold digger or she's a conservative small town girl with (in his opinion) outdated morals, but he seems to go back and forth between these two versions as he pleases and it doesn't make sense. Sorry if my question is confusing, to put it briefly, I was just wondering if you could shed light on Arnav's practical evaluation of Khushi in those early days (keeping aside all his inner surprise Rabba Ve-ing which he's trying and failing to suppress lol). Thanks in advance if you choose to answer and have a good day :)

Hello Anon!

Thank you so much for you love <3

Wow that's quite an ask!

I hope I can answer this adequately! The following is a LONG answer and may I add, my interpretation of Arnav as of now.

Analyzing Arnav in his Early Days

- He comes across as a man who has recently tasted success. His decisions are brash, his behavior is aggressive and I think he has proved a lot of people wrong by often being right.

- For example we see people think that Mool Rajani might actually hurt AR by refusing to do shoot and raising a case of harassment for being slapped, but Arnav throws money in his face to accurately bring out Rajani's colors/true intentions. For all his big talk, Rajani greedily lapped up the money.

- So this is precisely what Arnav thought Khushi is. She yells, makes drama of being pious, nice and innocent to draw attention and paint him in a bad light. Thus he challenges her in his domain - his office. She can yell here of being all virtuous and him evil but no she has absolutely no power.

- Like literally in the Dargah she stops him in the middle of public and starts arguing with him. She crashed his car in Delhi - which by the way he was driving in the right road and she was in the wrong lane - and complained how he gave her a loss when she was in the wrong! Then she traced him to his office and was in the parking lot right in front of his car! And ofc then she's in his office for a job he would've never known if she hadn't been accidentally hired as Lavanya's assistant! She would've been working under his nose and he wouldn't have known at all - that's dangerous.

- The fact Khushi created a scene when he was with his international clients made him sure that she's like those people who put their kids in front of a car and yell about rich people running over poor kids until they're paid to shut up. They extort money through drama.

- So he challenges her by making her do things a middle classed traditional girl will be scandalized by. Measuring male models and so on.

- At this point though Arnav isn't too convinced on his theory of her being a corporate spy, rather he puts her in the category of perhaps a stalker who's aware of who she crossed paths with and will utilize that access to create drama and extort money from him.

- So what surprises Arnav is when she doesn't do drama and actually completes the tasks. Lavanya overwhelms Khushi with menial jobs that two different junior assistants can complete - to aid ASR in kicking Khushi out - but both are surprised at her efficiency and her dedication in actually completing the jobs instead of yelling and crying at how they're making her overwork and demand attention.

- Arnav realises that she's very intelligent and decides to use that against her. He's trying to push her buttons for her 'revelation' moment. He'll be truly satisfied when he sees greed on her face and her admission of her lowliness because it's that assessment that he's right. You know that moment when Mool Rajani's anger quickly morphs into a malicious smile when he hears he's getting crores.

- So he overwhelms Khushi with tasks where she doesn't need to use her brains - pushing her to edge of her frustration. He assumes she is going to drop her good girl act at one point and be forthcoming with her intentions.

- But it doesn't happen. Instead Khushi genuinely gets frustrated and in turn starts to be more dedicated at work.

- The short dress was really in a fit of anger. He probably thought she was back ruining important things for her so ordered her to be in front of camera and have the attention once and for all. I do believe he wouldn't have gone ahead with the photoshoot - the red saree just left him speechless. Otherwise his point was to humiliate her the way he was humiliated by having his top model walk out mid shoot (also I bet Liza was fined because she literally broke an agency contract!).

- Arnav is in a fix when he sees her in the rain because when she comes across an important client in the parking lot he absolutely has his money on her making a scene - but a mixture of the fact that he realises he's sexually very attracted to her, she was genuinely taken aback at being in front of the camera, and is being a dedicated parking assistant and is not creating a drama in a situation that would benefit her and put him in a loss confuses him greatly.

- It's the first time he attempts softness with her - for a second, under the influence of Rabba Ve's, he gives her his jacket in the rain. And it's the only time he's not happy assigning a task - he's troubled.

- And just as he's about to change his opinion of her she comes in his home and is apparently already acquainted with his family and blurts things to his family - a very damaging secret of him and Lavanya to Nani - reaffirms all his negative opinions of her.

- In his eyes she played dirty.

- However, when Khushi gets stuck in the guesthouse then Arnav's rooted in guilt because he did not listen to her and his manager who kept on trying to get in touch. Arnav, perhaps for the first time, was inefficient in his work and allowed his biases to overlook his work.

- So of course he rushes to Khushi to save her regardless of what he thought because one thing in Khushi's soft defense had a point - there was no way she could know Nani didn't know about Lavanya. Nobody in office treats Arnav-La as a secret and if it's open in public, it must be open in private. And also Arnav was slowly coming to terms what he was doing with Khushi and the fact that she might not be who he thought she was slowly coming true - which was intimidating for Arnav.

- Not only would he be wrong, he'd be grossly wrong and be at a point of no return considering his actions.

- And when Khushi bursts in rage at the guesthouse - Arnav's face is worth watching. He already knows everything Khushi is going to yell at him for. He's trying to put up his defense before she can accuse him of anything but he remains mum at her thousand questions.

- And which is why he's mum when she yells at him and throws her resignation because he knows he's been absolutely wrong in judging her.

Note the fact Arnav doesn't refer to her status or dubious intentions until she appears at his home to cater for Anjali's anniversary. I believe he believes what Khushi told about herself. That it was coincidence.

So he's in guilt, in lust, in attraction and just a whole lot confused regarding her. He's also very soft. For a few days he hesitates but wants to have a conversation with her - Teej, his office - he wants to talk for once and for all. Maybe clear up the air? Who knows? But Khushi obviously does not want to talk to him.

However, Arnav goes back a hundred steps in what he thinks of her when she miraculously appears to cater for Anjali's anniversary after her grand declaration of leaving for Lucknow. Yet, even then, when he's about to insinuate that she found a way to be paid by him - a single glare of hers shuts him up instantly. And again, he wants to talk.

And unfortunately any good opinion he formed of her absolutely goes down the drain when she's at his home to 'train' Lavanya. The fact Anjali does not tell Arnav she arm twisted Khushi into this job unfairly puts Khushi in a really bad light. Was she playing mind games? What was she doing? How did she end up in his house, in a very intimate part of his life? And now for months!

He ended up hating Khushi again because she was now interfering in his opinions about marriage, his romantic life, and an added pressure from the family to enter into a commitment he doesn't want to in the first place.

And then Arnav finds himself in this loop of witnessing something that paints her as a manipulative/greedy woman right when he's always about to think the best of her :(

I think a lot of us find dissonance because the first few episodes - although written from both perspective - strongly favors Khushi's narrative, we're quickly drawn into Arnav's narrative, his love story and his viewpoint. In the initial episodes when Arnav yells at Khushi - we're seeing what TV favors, an innocent woman being tortured by a grumpy man who thinks the worst of her. We are not seeing Arnav's side of things at all. And because Arnav rarely monologues, we never know what's running through his mind. I would say we start seeing this story from his eyes from the red saree Rabba Ve.

And slowly and gradually the story progresses to Arnav's thoughts. He ruminates over not being able to hug Khushi. He stares at the fairy lights she got entangled with. He regrets having attempted to kiss her. He's torn when she's engaged. He's jealous when she meets NK. He's in love when they dance. And he wants to confess his love when she comes the next day having chosen the saree he recommended, her hair open the way he once flirted, and with the bangles he once gifted and ofc with Anjali's blessings and indication to not delay a confession!

After that the whole story strictly becomes Arnav. We absolutely stop seeing Khuhsi's point of view OUTSIDE affecting.

Which is why description of Arnav in the earlier episodes feels like my imagination and describing Khushi in the later episodes feels like my thoughts and a lengthy rant of bad writing!

Now coming to your next question

[...] trying to seduce him etc (unconsciously betraying where HIS thoughts are - like when he accuses her of trapping other men, like which men has she already trapped then ASR? lmao).

Lol, as you already know - she has trapped him! He is aware of the fact that he's sexually attracted to her way early into the show. Hence why he's convinced she traps men. Her innocence, wide eyed curiosity, beauty - caught his attention hook, line and sinker. Lol.

Phew, this was along answer! Hope you enjoyed it Anon :)

Best,

- JWB

[erika-being-erika]

More levihan reccomendations!

Part 1

• One Last Time by PiercingThePage

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levi & Hanji have been dating for about 3 years in highschool. He starts to have feelings for one of the pretty girls names Petra Ral. After he starts cheating on Hanji with her, he decides he wants out of the relationship. Until the day he decides to tell her, ends up being the day she tells him that she's pregnant. Will they make it out well, or will Levi start to realize he is becoming his own dead beat dad

• Having My Baby by Countess_Dorkula

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Another SNK Kink Meme fill. Follow Levi and Hanji as they go through the marvelous adventure towards parenthood.

• catch me if you can by fanmoose12

[Multi-chapter || on going]

Summary:

The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn't deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman's cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn't help but feel something close to fascination.

No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.

Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

• Partners by fanmoose12

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

When Petra was promoted to a detective and partnered up with legendary Levi Ackerman, she felt like the happiest person in the world.

But, as she soon found out, detective Ackerman she used to admire so much was actually a far cry from the ideal policeman Petra thought he was. He was rude, harsh and easily annoyed.

And, in addition, he still hadn’t moved on from the death of his previous partner - detective Hange Zoe.

• can't keep my hands off you by fanmoose12

[Multi-chap || completed]

Summary:

Hange, Levi and their not so secret relationship.

• Looking for You by fanmoose12

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Returning from a long mission, all Levi wanted was to spend sometime with Hange. But instead he got a message from Erwin, urging him to come to HQ. There he found out, that Hange was missing for over a week and that his new mission is to partner with Moblit, Hange's loyal assistant, and together find and bring Hange home.

• A Tale of Two Slaves by TundrainAfrica

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

"Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn't exist. Everything's a choice. And Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him."

Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn't.

• Free-Falling by djmarinizela

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Skydiver and tea shop owner Levi Ackerman meets the town’s resident mad scientist and tries to convince himself that he's not falling for her.

• All of Me by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

By the time they reached the trees, Sylvia's sides were heaving, her flanks covered in sweat-foam, but they couldn't afford to stop; two titans had become more. Hange refused to look behind her, but she could tell by the way the ground shook that one of them was at least a 13-meter class.

And all she had with her was one blade and a horse who was about to drop dead of exhaustion.1

• Dreams May Not Come True by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levihan. Hange knows something is wrong when she goes down to breakfast one morning and the smell makes her stomach churn.

• Something Like Destiny by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Reincarnation AU. Zoë doesn't have dreams; she just knows.

• A Dangerous Game by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

A snk 1920′s AU:

Sina is wild, crowded, bursting with industry. Home to jazz, fashion - and corruption. Crooked politicians, dirty police, and powerful gangs have turned the city into a cesspit of violence where the powerful rule. At the center of the chaos are the Ackermans - one of the most powerful gangs in the city, Mayor Fritz - who is as corrupt as he is wealthy, Erwin - a police commander determined to weed out the corruption in his own department, and Hanji - a journalist willing to risk everything to expose their city’s darkest secrets.

• A Simple Choice by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

The rain had started up again. Fat droplets drummed over her hood, drenching the fabric. Her horse’s reins were wet and cold; though her fingers, numbed from continued exposure to the elements, could hardly feel them.

Following the sound of the explosion, they’d arrived at a clearing. It was a mess of blackened, shattered wood, and the wagon, a skeleton, was little more than a smoking husk. Beyond the wreckage, a titan lay prostrate. Felled, its limp, hulking form was barely visible through the rain.

As soldiers shouted, pointing at the creature, one of the horses still tethered to the ruined wagon, writhed. When the beast screamed a broken, panicked wail, her own horse shifted, flanks twitching with unease.

Hanji barely noticed.

The soldiers' voices, the poor beast’s screams, even the heavy, even thrum of rain - had silenced as she looked to the river.

A body lay at the edge of the dark, white-capped water.

• License to Science (And Kill) by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

When International criminal organization, TITAN, successfully steals an arsenal of missiles along with their encrypted launch codes, Code Blue is initiated. It up to Agent Levi Ackerman, a spy in a class of his own, and Research scientist Hanji Zoe, the premiere authority on the organization, to halt a global catastrophe in its tracks.

She lowered her glasses, brown eyes blinking over the rims. “Does this mean I have a-” One brow lifted. “License to Science?”

“No. But I do have a License to Kill. Don’t tempt me to use it.”

• Aftermath by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levi rushes to the wall in the aftermath of the Armored and Colossal Titans' attack.

“Are you worried about your wife?”

The question shocked him out of his musings.

Levi looked up, “My what?”

But the pastor was already speaking, “You’re obviously beside yourself with stress – and it’s understandable. Not knowing if your wife has survived-”

Levi cut him off, “My what?”

The pastor hesitated, apparently realizing he’d made some mistake, but misunderstanding precisely what it was. “Your…wife? The woman we traveled with before? She’s ah – forceful. You two uh – have the same, er – strident personality. When we first met, she dangled me off the wall.”

• Terrible Things by someonestolemyshoes

[One-shot]

Summary:

The first time he tells her she’s pretty, Hange is all kinds of filthy - sweaty, dirty, twigs in her hair and mud on her shoes and a great big disgusting ball of everything Levi hates.

She is also crying.

It isn’t like he’s never seen her cry before - they’re nine and crying is just what kids do, especially kids like Hange who like to play with things they probably shouldn’t play with and like to climb trees even though they’re kind of clumsy and so the crying, in it’s self, isn’t all that weird.

What’s weird is that Hange - Hange, with her print-smudged glasses and ratty ponytail and clothes two sizes too big for her - is crying because a boy called her ugly.

• Acquiescence by 3LevisInATrenchcoat

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

On Judgement Day, the tide brought someone strange.

• My soulmate by a_golden_hearted_snk_fan

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

When your soulmate gets injured or hurt, their injuries show up on your skin with a slight sting then slowly fade. It was a rare thing to occur, but Levi and Hanji were the lucky ones.

• SOS by djmarinizela

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levi is a reclusive senior student who shares an apartment with Mike, Nanaba, and his best friend, Hange, who he's secretly in love with. Oddly enough, they also belong to the same secret club with a special operations squad. The 104th cohort is a bunch of freshmen misfits they've taken under their wing, Moblit is Hange's lab partner also vying for her affections, while Erwin’s the newest instructor who doesn’t know how to teach. And they say school is fun.

• the moon is dark by alteirkay

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

His face was wet.

“What the hell?” He murmured touching his face to see if he was mistaken. He was not. His hair was damp with sweat. There was an uneasiness invading his whole body. He was filled with it like he had drunk it straight from a bottle. His chest was heavy, his breaths were uneven, and his right eye was throbbing like a hammer was hitting at it continuously.

He was feeling like he had just lost someone.

• The Experiment by KakashiSensei

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

After a public brawl between them, Commander Erwin confines Captain Levi and Zoë Hange to barracks. When the Survey Corps next heads out, they are left behind as a punishment. Soon bored out of her mind, Hange turns her scientific curiosity towards the most interesting specimen within her reach: Levi. When his past reaches out to him to claim him back, she joins him on a dangerous journey. Do budding feelings have a chance in the most desolate of places?

• windmill by alteirkay

[One-shot]

Summary:

Here is the thing about Levi, his heart is a windmill in the middle of a wilderness where there was no wind to make it twirl, there was no wind to make it beat, pound and feel. Just feel.

Until one day he got hit by a storm so wild, so rare and so incredibly terrifying but in the most beautiful and breath-taking way that it left him defenceless, vulnerable and weak. Like a tiny little flower which had long passed its day of blossoming in a fierce, winter dawn yet it stood erect with its fragile body, challenging against the merciless winds and the brutal frost.

He fell in love.

• In Your Shoes by Neighborhood_Nori

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary

Levi, Paradis Studio's strict ballet instructor, can't stand the newly hired hip-hop instructor, Hanji. As a ballet dancer with his own complicated history with hip-hop, Levi only has respect for the more refined forms of dance. Can Hanji change his mind about her and her style of dance through determination, persistence, and her passion for dance?

• Distractions by Rookblonkorules

[One -shot]

Summary:

Hange’s love for pop culture interferes with her and Levi’s work.

It’s annoying.

• Leave You Whole. by zerothecreator

[One-shot]

Summary:

Levi spends his last moments in Hangë’s arms.

• Moments by Anonymous

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levihan Modern AU

She's a long-legged, sun-kissed beauty with tattoos in hidden places and multiple piercings.

Her leather jacket's on his bedroom floor, her ripped jeans too and she's pretty sure one of her heeled scarlet boots got left in the living room in their haste last night. At least her glasses are on top of the bedside drawer- they managed that, at least.

• more baby snacks by argethara

[One-shot]

Summary:

Levi tries to find out how and why boxes of Udo's biscuits are gone.

• Anniversary by EllePellano

[One-shot]

Summary:

AU One-shot: Erwin and Levi have a short conversation about the woman they both loved

• All We Are by TundrainAfrica

[One-shot]

Summary:

"We’re what’s left of the old survey corps Levi. We’re all alone.”

“We can’t be alone if there’s two of us.”

“So what do you suggest Captain Levi?”

“We stick together…” Levi answered. “We stick together, Commander Hange.”

During the time skip, Hange and Levi's relationship develops.

• Thin Ice by Xenobia

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Takes place between events in chapter 90 of the manga. Hange, now commander of Survey Corps, commissions Captain Levi to scout territory in the mountains to search for a supply tower she believes may still be stocked. The scouts need all the supplies and currency they can get in order to carry on with their goals. Against his better judgment, Levi joins her on this excursion. The bitter, early winter makes their mission harder than expected, however. The pair find themselves relying on each other to survive, and they find it increasingly difficult to treat one another as comrades in arms and nothing more.

• Hidden Meanings by WhatHistoryForgets

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Hange never thought a materialistic item could mean so much to her until she lost it.

• Of teacups and stale bread

[One-shot]

Summary:

Five times Hange prepared tea for Levi, and the one time that he did.

• Unintended Consequence(s) by Ella3982

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Not all of the Anti-Personnel Control Squad died when the cavern collapsed. Some of them escaped through the tunnel Hange, Moblit, and Armin used. When the two parties meet, the Anti-Personnel Control Squad takes the three Survey Corps members hostage with the intent to force the Survey Corp's hand. However, when they find out that Kenny Ackerman has died, they become more desperate.

If the Uprising Arc had ended a bit differently, how would it alter the course of the story? What would change, and what would stay the same?

• A Fire in the Shadows by free_pancakes

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

LeviHan in an Avatar the Last Airbender AU - a side story occurring alongside the events of ATLA

Levi, the nephew of a fire nation captain, stumbles upon a ragtag group of 5 known as the Scouts, formidably known for foiling the plans of local fire nation control, living in the forests a few miles north of Ba Sing Se.

• Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)

Summary:

A collection of drabbles and oneshots exploring a sexual relationship between Levi and Hanji.

• Tips & Tricks by Sleepyheadven

[One-shot]

Summary:

Eren’s brow was furrowed forward in confusion as he spoke. “I thought you said that staring at people isn’t nice?” He said after a few moments, gathering his thoughts. He seemed genuinely bewildered as to why she was intensely staring down a stranger when she had told him countless times before that it was impolite to do so.

Oh, lord, was her only thought as she quickly scrambled for an excuse. “I - Uh - well, sometimes people stare at other people because -” before she could even begin to form a proper sentence, Eren interjected. She wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or dismayed by his actions.

“Is it because you think he’s cute? My friend Ymir stares at my friend Krista that way all the time, she says it’s because she’s so pretty!” Eren babbled happily, oblivious to the way Hange’s grip around the handle of the cart tightened. Her brown eyes darted back and forth between the stranger and her son, hoping that he couldn’t overhear their conversation seeing as Eren wasn’t the softest of speakers.

• A drunk man always tells the truth by krissixh

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levi finds out that Hanji is engaged to a rich man. He gets drunk that night and confronts her his feelings. The two have to confront a lot of difficulties to be able to end as a couple.

• Relapses by Oreotragus

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Despite having become a great asset to humankind, Captain Levi still has some trouble adjusting to his post-crime lifestyle, especially the social aspects of it. One extremely badly coordinated step out of his comfort zone creates a grand mess that he has to clean up.

• Weight of Survival by otterbeans

[One-shot]

Summary:

Hanji gives birth to Levi's unintentional child. She pretends to be surprised when he shows up for it.

• Don't drink the kool-aid by smallblip

[One-shot]

Summary:

Think of a number between one and ten. Because that's how you love in this world. First you toss out the word love. You tell it to its face that Commander Erwin Smith says “love is the ultimate cult of men... A sect... A dirty ploy by the whatever god is up there to make us all vulnerable..."

And then, everything falls into place.

• until another thursday evening by pinkweirdsunsets

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

and ever since they were only five, Levi had protected her, whether it was from the daily shenanigans she came up with or the criminal background he came from. She was his sunshine, messy and grinning, and he shielded her away from all terrible things.

until zeke yeager came along.

• Make It Make Sense! By cznpai

[Multi-chapt || completed]

I can't add the summary cause I've reached the limit. Welp i still have a lot of fics here so ill make a another post of reccomendations... HAHA bye!

[rosiehunterwolf]

stuck with you (through bright and blue)

Prompts: Protective

Word Count: 4,400

Characters: The squad

Timeline: Pre-movie movie!verse

Trigger Warnings: Manipulation, Toxic Friendship

Summary: Kai only wants two things: to protect Lloyd, and to give him the best birthday ever. Unfortunately, Lloyd seems hell-bent on making that as difficult as possible. Kai��s always prided himself on achieving the impossible, but dealing with human emotions is much more complicated than beating up Garmadon’s generals or shooting enemies with fire, as he quickly learns. Movie!verse

Read on FFN.net

Read on Ao3

Tumblr work under the cut

“Woah, it looks like a massacre in here.”

At the sound of Cole’s voice, Kai, Jay, Lloyd, and Zane looked up from the map they had sprawled out across the table. Red pen was everywhere, circling different buildings and connecting them with lines.

“We’re having trouble finding a venue for Lloyd’s party,” Zane explained.

Nya rolled her eyes. “It’s not that hard! Just pick somewhere!” She held a hand out, shaking her phone. “We have five days until his birthday. Most places require at least that many to book a reservation. If we don’t decide today, we’ll have nowhere to go.”

“We can’t just pick anywhere,” Kai insisted. “It has to be perfect!”

“Why don’t we just go to the arcade?”

“It’s always so busy there.”

“It’s a Wednesday night! How many people are going to be there?”

“Trust me,” Jay said, “It’s still busy. It always is.”

Cole peered at the map. “Why’d you cross off the movie theater? Isn’t there a new Starfarer movie Lloyd’s been wanting to see?”

Kai shook his head. “Tickets sold out in like five hours. By the time school was over and we got over there, they were all gone.”

Jay frowned, running his fingers along one of the major streets. “What’s your favorite restaurant, Lloyd?”

“A restaurant? Are you serious?” Cole laughed. “We’d get kicked out in ten minutes.”

“Why can’t we just do it at my place?” Lloyd murmured. “I don’t need anything big deal.”

Kai frowned. “Your apartment isn’t that big, Lloyd. And I don’t want to bother your mom with all the decorations and stuff.”

Lloyd shrugged, looking down. “It doesn’t need to be big.”

“If you really want something simple,” Nya said, “why don’t we just do it at the warehouse? It’ll just be us, but there’s lots of space.”

Zane nodded. “That space would suffice. We would just have to ask Master Wu.”

“That is, if you’re certain that’s what you want.” Nya looked at Lloyd closely. “You sure you don’t want to do anything else?”

Lloyd nodded.

“Positive, bud?” Kai pushed. “Because it’s your birthday. We don’t mind at all.”

“I’m fine,” Lloyd insisted, getting to his feet. “It’s just another day on the calendar. Don’t make such a big fuss.”

The ninja fell silent.

“Lloyd,” Nya murmured, “it is a big deal to us.”

“Sorry. I’m just tired. And I’ve got homework. I should go.”

“Lloyd, wait-”

The green ninja pulled away from Kai’s outstretched hand. “I’m fine, Kai. I just have to go. Call me if you need anything.”

---

When they went back to school on Monday, their teachers loaded them with assignments, and Kai didn’t have a spare minute to talk to Lloyd in their shared classes. He couldn’t even talk at lunch because Lloyd had to make up a test. He kept his eyes peeled for his friend every time he was in the hallways, but if there was one thing Lloyd was good at, it was not being seen.

At the end of the school day, Nya texted him to meet up near their lockers. He got there and found her huddled around her locker with Cole, Jay, and Zane.

Kai walked over to them. “What’s going on? Where’s Lloyd?”

“He said he’d catch up with us later, which is why now is the perfect time for party preparation,” Jay said, gesturing towards Nya, who had a fiercely determined look on her face and was tightly clutching a clipboard. “Apparently she’s been waiting her whole life for this.”

“Alright.” Nya looked up from her clipboard. “I’ve already got streamers and gift wrap at home. What about you guys?”

“I’ve got a banner ordered with his name on it,” Cole said. “And of course, the shark tablecloths-”

Jay blinked. “Sharks?”

“Yeah. He loves sharks.”

“No, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong! We’re getting the dragon ones! He loves dragons!”

“Well, yeah, duh, but he’d obviously like the shark one better.”

“Are you kidding? Sharks would remind him of his dad’s mechs!” “Yeah, well, dragons remind him of his mech, which also reminds him of fighting his dad.”

“Totally not the same, plus dragons are way cooler-”

“Okay, we’re going with the Starfarer ones, then,” Nya grumbled. “What about balloons? Who’s covering-”

“I have balloons,” Zane interrupted. “Two hundred and seventy-five of them.”

They gawked at him.

“Zane… why do you have so many balloons just lying around?” Jay asked.

“They are new! In the package! I can blow them up for Lloyd’s birthday party-”

“Shhhhh!” Four pairs of hands immediately pushed over his mouth, silencing him, even though they were the only ones in the very empty hallway.

“No one can find out,” Cole insisted. “This is Lloyd’s special day. We’re not about to let anyone ruin it.”

“Okay, so Zane’s got the balloons.” Nya ticked another item off the list. “What about the cake? I have most of the ingredients to make one at home, but I’m completely lacking the baking skills.”

Cole nodded. “I can bake a cake. What’s his favorite kind?”

“Lloyd likes that Funfetti one,” Kai murmured.

Cole’s nose wrinkled. “I’m not baking a box mix. I can get him the rainbow sprinkles, though, and make a homemade one.”

“Okay, sounds good. Jay, could you pick up some confetti before his birthday? And Zane, we need some fun paper plates.”

“Zane, you should get shark ones.”

“No, dragons!” “Zane will pick out whichever plates he likes,” Nya snapped.

“What about gifts?” Jay asked. “What are you guys getting?”

“I’m not telling you,” Nya yelped. “I have the best gift ever and I don’t want you stealing any ideas.”

“I’ve been setting aside pieces of my allowance for a month,” Cole grinned. “It’s gonna be sweet.”

Jay blinked at him expectantly, and Cole smirked. “I’m not telling you, either, blabbermouth.”

“Blabbermouth?” he yelped. “I can keep secrets perfectly fine, thank you.”

“Oh yeah? What about that time you nearly gave away all of our ninja identities?”

“Or-” Zane added, “when he and Lloyd were working on those surprise mech upgrades and he accidentally said something in front of Kai and Nya?”

“Oh, remember when he spoiled the finale of Cole’s favorite show?” Nya grinned. “Cole was pissed.”

“Okay, okay, so there were a few times,” Jay spluttered. “But those were a while ago! I have many more secrets that I have kept than I haven’t.”

Cole crossed his arms, smirking. “Name one.”

“Well, there was that one time, where I- hey!” He stopped, glaring at Cole. “You’re trying to trick me into telling you a secret!”

“And it very nearly worked. So no. You can’t know.”

Nya shrugged. “Sorry, Jay. He’s right. When you have a secret, you get nervous. And when you’re nervous, you talk. A lot. It would only be a matter of time before you spilled everything to Lloyd.”

“Fine,” Jay muttered. “Keep your secrets.”

Kai jumped slightly as Nya elbowed him, and she frowned. “You okay? You’ve been really quiet.”

Kai shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Is it just me, or… did Lloyd seem like he doesn’t really want a birthday party?”

The others went quiet.

“We’re not going to not give him a party,” Nya insisted. “You know how he gets. He never wants anyone to make a fuss.” Her brow furrowed. “It’s like he still can’t get it into his skull that we care about him.”

“I mean, of course I want to, it’s just… we can’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want.” Kai bit his lip. “It’s been a rough past few months for him. I just want him to be happy.”

“We all do,” Cole agreed. “Lloyd deserves a night just about him, for once.”

Zane frowned. “But how are we supposed to give him the party that he wants if he won’t tell us what he wants?”

“Let me try to talk to him,” Kai said. “He might open up more if it’s just one of us there.”

---

Lloyd, in fact, did not want to talk.

He was more open during their classes the next day, and held casual conversation with him, but forcefully avoided the topic of his birthday whenever Kai brought it up.

He huffed with frustration. What kind of kid didn’t want to celebrate their birthday? He wished Lloyd would just tell him what was going on.

He wasn’t going to, though, so naturally, the next best thing was to follow him.

He wouldn’t call it spying- just finding another way of obtaining information when Lloyd refused to give it himself. Besides, he was doing this to help Lloyd, not to hurt him.

Kai jerked himself out of his thoughts as Lloyd nearly slipped from his view. He gritted his teeth, refocusing on him. Lloyd wasn’t an easy person to follow, either.

When he finally caught up to him, keeping a reasonable distance, of course, Lloyd was hovering near his locker. An unfamiliar, dark-haired kid was leaning against it, laughing at something as Lloyd smiled uneasily. Kai edged closer, his frown deepening.

“Where’s the spike head? And the rest of your gang?”

“Kai?” Lloyd shifted. “I dunno. He probably had homework and stuff to do.”

The guy shrugged. “I kind of found him annoying, anyway. You realize no one could ever get to you when your friends were around, right?”

“I guess that’s… kind of the point.”

“You can’t spend your whole life letting them protect you. If you block out any person who hurts you, you block out anyone who could potentially be a friend, too.” The guy smiled in a way that made Kai wanted to chuck himself between Lloyd and the guy.

“That’s… that’s the thing. No one wants to be nice to me.”

“Spare me the sob story,” the guy rolled his eyes. “I know your dad sucks, but at least you have one.”

Lloyd flinched. “Sorry.”

The guy laughed, putting a hand on his shoulder and shoving him. “Stop being so jumpy, will ya? No wonder kids pick on you, you’re as harmless as a flea.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Lloyd blinked. “I can’t hit them back, or I’ll be in more trouble than I already am.”

“You don’t need to hit them, just show them you’re not a total coward! Maybe if you actually listen to them instead of cringing away, things might change.”

“Listen to them? Are you saying they’re right?”

“What does it matter if they’re right? Look, Lloyd, you’ve already got it hard enough as it is, and you’re making everything more difficult. You’d be so much cooler if you actually hung out with important people and not the outcast-losers you’ve stationed yourself with.”

For the first time since the conversation had started, Lloyd appeared indignant. “They’re not- I mean, you’re not-”

The guy laughed. “See? You can’t even get a word out. You’re so pathetic. You don’t even need the fact that you’re Garmadon’s son to get picked on, you already got it all set up for the torment-”

Kai wasn’t aware of himself pushing forward, he just was, and suddenly he was gripping the guy by the collar of his shirt, a pair of wide, brown eyes staring fearfully up into his.

“Who do you think you are and what the hell are you doing?”

“I… um, I…” the guy swallowed, his throat running dry.

“You treating my best friend like a piece of shit?” Kai shook him. “Are you?”

“I’m sorry!” The guy squirmed. “I didn’t really mean it, we were just joking around, he says that kind of stuff to me all the time!”

“Really? Lloyd. Says that. You sure we’re talking about the same person? Because I do not take nicely to liars.”

The guy squirmed harder. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Just please let me go, I’ll never bother you again!” Kai shot him the fiercest glare he could muster. “You better not.” He stepped back, dropping the kid, and he took off like a bullet.

Turning back to Lloyd, he saw his friend was staring at the fleeing boy with wide, disbelieving eyes, but it quickly dissipated to anger as he turned to Kai. “What the heck did you do that for?”

Kai’s eyes widened. “I was protecting you? From a bully?” Lloyd’s eyes flashed, and Kai actually took a step back. “I don’t need you to protect me! I can fight my own battles!”

Before Kai could even say anything, Lloyd was storming down the hallway and disappearing around the corner.

Kai just stood there for a moment, in shock. What was that all about? Hadn’t he done the same thing for Lloyd a dozen times? Why would defending him ever be bad?

A buzz in his pocket interrupted his thoughts. Kai pulled out his phone to see a new message in the chat from his sister.

irondragonfangirl: how r things going with lloyd

MasterofFiyaaaaa: honestly? i think i made it worse

irondragonfangirl: well u better find a way to fix it soon because his bday’s TOMORROW

MasterofFiyaaaaa: yeah i’ll find a way through to him

MasterofFiyaaaaa: i just hope he listens

irondragonfangirl: don’t worry

irondragonfangirl: he will

irondragonfangirl: just make sure u remember to listen to him too

irondragonfangirl: i have a feeling we haven’t been doing that enough

irondragonfangirl: i feel terrible

MasterofFiyaaaaa: yeah me too

MasterofFiyaaaaa: we’ll make it up to him though

MasterofFiyaaaaa: right?

irondragonfangirl: sure as long as cole doesn’t burn this cake

irondragonfangirl: seriously y did we let him bake it

irondragonfangirl: if i dont respond in the next hour just assume his house burnt down and im dead

MasterofFiyaaaaa: can i have your motorcycle if you die

irondragonfangirl: shut up

---

Kai spent an hour looking for Lloyd after their confrontation, but he couldn’t find him anywhere, and Lloyd, unsurprisingly, hadn’t answered any of the twenty-some texts Kai had sent him, either. Eventually, he had to give up looking for him and resigned to speaking to him at school tomorrow.

His birthday.

In the first class they had together, Lloyd avoided looking at him, and Kai felt an ache in his chest. Today was his birthday. He knew things weren’t going to turn out like he had imagined, but he wanted them to at least be better than this.

Swallowing back his nerves, Kai walked over to him, where he was doodling something in his notebook.

Kai cleared his throat. “Um. Lloyd?”

Lloyd looked up, an expression flashing across his face that Kai couldn’t read, but he didn’t immediately leave or turn away from him, which Kai took as a good sign.

“Happy birthday, dude.”

Lloyd smiled tentatively back. “Thanks.”

Things didn’t go immediately back to normal after that- there was still a tension between them, and Lloyd wasn’t saying much more than a couple sentences at a time, firmly avoiding the topic of the previous day- but at least it was back to a level where Kai didn’t feel absolutely horrible for ruining his day. Lunch, at least, got a smile out of him- as well as a bunch of embarrassed blushing as Nya stabbed a candle into his brownie (they couldn’t actually light it, lighters weren’t allowed on campus) and they insisted on singing to him so off-key that Cole looked like he wanted to punch them.

When the last bell finally rang, Kai headed over to Lloyd’s locker, hoping they could talk now that there weren’t other kids around, but he wasn’t there.

Kai relented, pulling out his phone.

MasterofFiyaaaaa: Lloyd? i know youre upset but can we plz talk?

He held his breath, staring at the screen intensely, as if that would make Lloyd respond.

While he was waiting, a message from a group chat popped up.

irondragonfangirl: what’s taking so long jay, we need those decorations

jaybird123: eta 5 mins

jaybird123: i literally just left class how’d you get there so fast

jaybird123: wait you didn’t use the tunnels did you

irondragonfangirl: no me and cole are bringing the CAKE remember?

irondragonfangirl: im not taking that through the tunnel

irondragonfangirl: we didnt spend 3 hrs on that for it to get squished

irondragonfangirl: i told the nurse i wasn’t feeling well so i could go home early

irondragonfangirl: why didnt YOU take them

jaybird123: i couldn’t exactly discreetly smuggle all these decorations into my locker

jaybird123: mmm cake. is it good?

irondragonfangirl: don’t even THINK about it, that’s not until Lloyd gets here

jaybird123: but im hungryyyy

jaybird123: do i need to pick up anything for dinner?

rock’n’cole: nah it’s cool, we just found out lloyd’s favorite chinese restaurant, the Bamboo Dragon, delivers so we’re gonna order from there

jaybird123: my mouth is watering already

ZaneJulien:0xD;): Jay, you shouldn’t text while driving.

jaybird123: tell nya to get off my case then!

irondragonfangirl: exCUSE me zane you are supposed to be putting up those balloons right now why are YOU on your phone

ZaneJulien:0xD;): Why are you texting me? We are in the same room.

irondragonfangirl: why are YOU texting ME

rock’n’cole: would you guys just stop being dumb and come help me

irondragonfangirl: great now you got cole in on it too

rock’n’cole: would you two just GET OFF YOUR PHONES

Kai was interrupted from whatever turn the conversation was going to take next when he finally got another notification.

thegreendragon: ok. you know where i’ll be

Kai blinked, turning towards the doors and pushing through them, walking out onto the school lawn. The main feature was the football stadium, although there were other things as well- large trees, garden patches for the science classes, picnic tables for eating lunch outside, if the weather permitted. And- although the students were too old for recess, now- there was still a small swing set- a simple, rusty thing, with only two swings, but it served its purpose. Sitting on one of them, gently rocking, was Lloyd.

Kai made his way over, sitting down beside him in the other swing.

“So, uh… can we talk? About yesterday?”

Lloyd nodded, and Kai titled his head at him, trying to gauge his thoughts. “Who was that kid?”

Lloyd breathed out slowly. “His name is Brad. He was my best- and only- friend in elementary school, but we were separated when I moved away. Brad’s family just recently moved to Ninjago City, and I… I was hoping to reconnect with him.”

Kai ignored the twinge of jealousy at the words “best friends.” Lloyd was allowed to have other people than him in his life, and things had obviously changed since then, anyway.

“I’m sorry, Lloyd. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, but from what I saw… Brad was being a jerk to you.”

Lloyd shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, I… he’s changed since we were kids. The efforts at rekindling our friendship honestly aren’t going so well. That’s… that’s why I was in a bad mood. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You were only trying to do something nice for me.” “Don’t worry about me. But this Brad kid… anyone who treats you like that doesn’t deserve to be your friend.”

“I know, I just…” Lloyd sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I was so eager to make a friend other than you guys…” His eyes widened as he processed his own words. “Not there’s anything wrong with you guys, it’s just- I just wanted to actually earn someone who wasn’t friends with me because of a shared occupation.”

Kai elbowed him. “Hey. This whole ninja thing may be what got us introduced to each other, but we’re not friends with you because you’re one of the ninja. We’re your friends because we love you as a person. As Lloyd, not the green ninja.”

Lloyd sniffed, giving him a soft smile. “Thanks, Kai. I’m glad I have you to protect me.”

“You don’t need protection, but you’re stuck with me as a best friend, so you’re going to get it, anyway.”

Lloyd laughed. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

His phone buzzed, and he quickly checked it.

irondragonfangirl: the party’s all set up, now the only thing missing is lloyd. did you get to talk to him?

MasterofFiyaaaaa: yeah, we’re cool now. on our way

Kai turned back to Lloyd. “C’mon, green machine. Let’s go enjoy your birthday.”

Lloyd blinked at him. “Huh?”

“Your party, remember? The one Nya and the guys have spent the whole week planning? Or is there some other celebration I don’t know about?”

Lloyd shook his head. “No, no, it’s just- I thought I messed it all up.”

“Don’t worry, we got it under control.”

“Really?”

“This is our teammates you’re talking about! Stubborn as mules. They’re not giving up on you that easily.”

“I… thank you. Thank you guys.”

“You can tell them yourself. We’re going to this party, and we’re going to have fun!”

---

Kai had to admit, he was impressed with what the others had been able to pull off in such a short amount of time.

It was nothing huge or extravagant, but it was a nice little party, and Lloyd seemed to like it better like that, anyway.

They were barely through the doors of the warehouse when Jay was launching himself into Lloyd’s arms, pulling him into a tight hug, the others close behind.

“Happy birthday!” they cheered.

Lloyd hugged them back, laughing. “Thanks, guys, I didn’t- I didn’t expect all this!”

“Are you kidding?” Nya put her hands on her hips, grinning. “We’re pulling out all the stops for our baby bro.”

Lloyd’s smile briefly flickered to a scowl. “I’m not a baby.”

“To us, you always will be,” Kai said, slinging an arm around his shoulders and ruffling his hair. Lloyd squirmed away, although he was unable to hide the grin on his face.

“Wow, this place really looks different.” Lloyd gazed around at the warehouse with wide eyes. They had pushed aside training equipment to make room for tables and chairs, and green and gold streamers decorated the walls, adorned by multicolored balloons. Someone had plugged a gaming console into the TV, as well as a DVD player next to a box of DVDs- which must’ve been Jay’s, he was the only person Kai knew, apart from Master Wu, who even had DVDs anymore- because Kai still hadn’t been able to convince Master Wu to buy them Netflix on the warehouse’s TV, getting the TV there in the first place had been hard enough as it was. On the far end was a buffet table, filled with rice, chicken, dumplings, and other Chinese staples from the Bamboo Dragon- as well as a beautiful, heavily frosted cake in the center of it all. It was decorated with rainbow sprinkles, making it completely and uniquely Lloyd.

Lloyd’s eyes were on the cake too, his eyes wide. “Cole! It looks amazing! I never knew you were so good at making cakes!”

Cole shrugged, trying to hide his smile. “I’ve had some experience.”

“Hey! What makes you think Cole made it?” Nya sniffed.

Cole blinked. “I did.”

“Well, I helped.”

Cole snorted. “Don’t know if you could call it that. From my point of view, it seems like I was doing most of the work while you were busy texting your boo.”

Both Nya and Jay turned scarlet.

“I was not,” Nya spluttered. “I was making preparations for Lloyd’s party!” “Yeah, yeah, whatever you have to tell yourself.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions too hastily,” Jay said, turning to walk over to the cake. “The true judge of quality will be how good it tastes.”

Nya stuck an arm in front of him. “Not so fast, mister! Dinner first.”

After laughing, playing games, and eating, they insisted on opening presents. Lloyd was all smiles and gratitude with each one, which ended up sparking a debate between the others about whose gift he liked best.

“He totally loved my gift!” “Nuh-uh! Did you see the way he smiled a little differently on mine?”

“Jay, you literally gave him a book. Why would he be excited about that?”

“Not just any book! A first edition Starfarer collector’s comic from when my parents were kids, and in mint condition, too!”

“Why would you want some dusty old comic when you could have the newest Starfarer video game?” Kai argued. “It took forever for me to find one of these, they were sold out everywhere.”

“Starfarer this, Starfarer that,” Cole sighed. “I don’t understand how he could possibly need any more Starfarer things. The record I engraved for him is way more personable and unique.”

“You guys are thinking about this all wrong! You should’ve gotten him a katana like me, something that he actually needs and uses.”

“Statistically, Lloyd spends more time drawing than any other hobby,” Zane said. “Which means my gift of an art book and new set of pencils is logically the best fit.”

“Clearly you guys all have it wrong in the head-”

“Guys, relax,” Lloyd laughed. “I loved all your gifts equally.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Jay… it means exactly what you think it means.”

“You can’t even pick one gift?”

Lloyd shook his head. “No way. These are all amazing. Thank you, guys. Really.” His gaze met Kai’s for a long beat. “For everything.”

“Of course. But, just to make things clear, you did like mine the most, right? You’re just saying you liked them equally, so that you didn’t make the others feel bad?”

Lloyd smacked his forehead as the others burst into protest again, and Kai shot him a sharp-edged grin. “I can do this all night.”

Eventually, Lloyd got them to stop bickering- the mention of cake got them all quiet pretty quickly- and after divvying it up, they went over to the couch and played the video game Kai had gotten him. He quickly lost track of time, but time didn’t matter. Even if it meant they would be tired for school the next day, seeing Lloyd like this- half sprawled over his teammates, brow scrunched in concentration as he mashed buttons on his controller, hints of frosting on his lips as he tried and failed miserably to bite back his laughter- it was worth it. He looked happier than Kai had seen him in weeks.

For that, he could even contain himself from bragging about how Lloyd obviously liked his gift best.