#and a keyboard in kei's home studio

[ecstaticasusual]

🎹

[bills5lut]

practice

warnings: smut, praise, dom!bottom billie, sub!top reader, fingering (b receiving), oral (b receiving)

synopsis: billie helps you perfect your guitar playing for a new song you’re writing, then she helps you practice something else.

w/c: 1.6k

You’re alone in Finneas’s home studio, warm lamplight spilling over mixing consoles and scattered notes of lyrics for a song he’s kindly helping you produce. Your guitar is in your hand, laptop open to your half finished track, displayed large on the three huge monitors ahead of you sprawled across the desk.

Finneas gives you a little thumbs up, as he grabs his car keys,

“Back in an hour” he shouts over his shoulder, and you hear the front door click upstairs, leaving you with just the low hum of the monitor and the repeating loop of the metronome.

Your fingers find its way to your guitar, sighing as you try again, plucking a chord that rings out sour, fingers fumbling with the tuning pegs. Your brows furrow, and you huff, as seemingly nothing is working, strings buzzing and whining with every futile attempt.

The stairwell light flicks on, and you see Billie standing there, watching you with a gentle half smile thats equal parts amused and curious, slouchy sweats and a large statement tee, hair tossed back in a careless pony.

She steps over slowly, giggling a little at each attempt, the strings only whining and screeching more. You laugh, trying to brush off the embarrassment, after all you barley know Billie beyond passing hello’s when you’ve been working with Finneas and you don’t want this to be her first real impression of you.

“Sorry” you mumble, between forced laughs, “Everything seems to be going wrong today”

She shakes her head, not bothered

“Need a hand?” She says, low, teasing.

You nod, your cheeks warming as she reaches over you to adjust the low E string. As she approaches, you catch the warm scent of her musky vanilla perfume, and instinctively inhale. Her body curves around the back of your chair, warmth radiating through the fabric of your shirt as her stomach presses against your spine through the back of the wooden chair.

She guides your hand to the tuning peg, twisting it together, the soft brush of your fingers, the pressure of her nail bed against your finger pad making you shiver.

“There” She murmurs, almost to herself, lips close to your ear. Her fingers ghost over the frets as she plays a chord, and the string finally hums true “Perfect” she hums, and you feel every muscle in your neck tense.

Laughter bubbles between you, as you play another chord, nodding, shaking your head with embarrassment.

“Im not sure why I couldn’t get that right, clearly just having a day where I forget how to do the one thing I am usually alright at” You run your hand through your hair, giggling.

“It’s alright, we all get like that” her hand hovers over the strings, pulling yours to do the same, and she plays again, “Yeah thats better”

She leans forward, musk invading your nose and your eyes almost flutter shut. Your vision is slightly obscured by her tits, covered by the shirt, as she taps away at the keyboard, tutting through her lips as she plays about on the laptop, suddenly, your voice, and the beat you and Finneas had worked on, plays through the surround speakers and you cringe at the sound of your voice.

“You sound good” She murmurs, as the first part of the beat loops over and over, the first few lyrics playing continuously. Your cheeks flush red, and all you can manage is a whispered,

“Thanks”

She settles back behind you, her breath tickling your ears.

She teases slightly, “Bet you cant hold it for four bars without fucking it up again”

You chuckle, starting to play as the beat loops to the beginning again, and you turn slightly as you do, her dark braid swinging a little as she nods, lips morphing into a slight curve.

She taps the drum pattern along with the beat flowing from the speakers with her foot, guiding you a little, then you miss a transition and she laughs,

“its alright its alright, c’mere” She tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and guides your fingers back into place.

You start playing again, her hand wraps around your waist, holding your hand a little up, helping you move it with the chords.

Your breath catches as her fingers skim across your skin, leaning into her as you play the chord progression.

“That’s so much better”, she murmurs, hand trailing up along your skin a little more.

You miss a beat, again, and Billie teases, “Give it another go.” You laugh, the sound echoing across the walls, and the tension melting slightly. Mid strum, your head turns, gaze meeting her blue irises, and the music appears to fade, despite still blaring clear. Billie leans in slightly, and you close the gap, pressing your lips to hers, soft, testing.

The body of the guitar catches the edge of the chair, and Billie quickly deepens the kiss, leaning deeper, moving her legs around you so she’s straddling you. One hand cups your breast over your shirt, the other tracing her nails up and down your neck. Her confidence is obvious as she takes control of each movement, you fumble in awe at her ease, her experience.

You pull back, voice shaking, hands going up in the air and shaking your head,

“Billie, Im.. Im not used to this. I don’t.. I’ve, I’ve never really..”

Billie’s breath hitches, and she cuts you off, slipping her hands under your t shirt and massaging the small of your back, pressing closer, murmuring

“I can help you practice” She whispers, soft reassuring smile on her face

Billie eases back from the chair, and the guitar slips from your hands with a soft thud, strings vibrating. She cups your waist and shepherds you over to the couch, knees straddling your thighs as you sink into the cushions, her fingers slip beneath your shirt, brushing your skin.

She nuzzles her face against your neck, planting soft, slow kisses,

“Just follow me.” She mumbles, breath hot against your neck, guiding your hands to her own hips, splaying your fingers slightly, she looks down at you, tilting her head a little, nodding you along in encouragement as you run your hands up and down her sides.

Billie interlaces both your hands, and pushes them upward, so you are helping her take her top off, her lace bralette that isn’t hiding much coming into view. Your breath hitches, and she giggles a little.

“Shh, you’ve got it, just..” She takes your top off, revealing your bra, tits spilling out a little, then cups your tits with her hands, thumbs stroking slightly “Now you try”

She takes her hands away, and you tentatively place your hands on her tits, she nods, smiling softly. Slowly, you gain more confidence, taking her bra off, and she lets out a sigh of approval.

You linger on the feel of her skin as the fabric snaps free, enjoying the warmth under your palms.

Her breathing quickens as you get a little bolder, tipping her head back, as you take her tit into your hand and caress it softly.

She guides your hand to her waistband, and you fumble with it, until her sweats slide off, and she grabs your hands, moving them up and down her thighs.

Billies heat pools at her centre, she grips your wrists softly, guiding your hands to her stomach, before helping them roam to the elastic of her underwear.

“This okay?” You say in a shaky exhale, and Billie holds back a laugh, of course it’s okay, she’s practically making you do everything so of course she’s okay with it, but she doesn’t laugh. She strokes your cheek softly with her fingertips, murmuring

“Mhm, perfect”

She lifts her hips in a subtle thrust, helping you take off her cotton panties, then nestles back into the sofa, thighs opening slightly, as you take in her bare skin.

Billie positions your hands at her core, smiling reassuringly, breathing out

“Gentle”

Her hands come to stroke your hips reassuringly, as you trace a fingertip through her slit, and her hands squeeze your hips harder, an instruction to go deeper.

Her hips twitch as your fingers slide deeper, titling her pelvis up, guiding your rhythm, moaning approvingly.

“That’s good, thats so good baby, just like that” She murmurs, still softly stroking your skin in praise.

Billie parts her lips, breathing your name, then leans back, guiding your head between her thighs with a slight push, “Taste me”

As your tongue swirls in slow circles around her clit, she threads her fingers through your head, tugging gently to encourage firmer pressure.

Between moans, she gasps out, “little faster”

You hum against her clit, speeding your tongue a little, and she breathes out moaning, “There, yeah, fuck thats better”

She props herself on an elbow, taking your hands back to her tits, helping you cup and roll her nipples while your tongue works her clit.

You lock her gaze as her back arches, pressing her pussy closer to your face, and she nods, smiling, moaning, “Doing so good pretty, so good, don’t stop”

You melt at the praise, continuing, and her hips begin to buck against your face, between ragged breaths Billie coaching,

“Harder, keep same pace just a little harder baby- oh fuck, yeah, yeah”

Her legs squeeze around your face, mumbled praises coming out at an increasing speed, until the soft glow from the monitors illuminates her face as she cums, nails grazing your skin.

You glance up from between her thighs, chin coated in her cum, mumbling, “Was that okay?”

Billie nods, draping a hand around your shoulder, pulling you up to lay on her chest, “Mhm, so good baby, perfect practice.”

[lexawritex]

—midnight recording

aeri x fem!reader ⚠️ smut, fingering, cursing, mdni ★ visiting your girlfriend in her studio late at night. [a/n: posting the things i have in my drafts before i get so busy again :/]

a loud gunshot shattered the silence of your apartment, jolting you awake. your eyes flew open, a gasp escaping your lips as your heart pounded in your chest.

panic set in as you frantically scanned the room, searching for the source of the sound. only to find the tv as the source of the loud sound. you let out a relieved sigh, reaching for the remote to turn it off.

slipping your hand under the pillows you'd tossed on the couch, you searched for your phone.

you looked at the time and it was already 11pm.

looking around, the apartment was untouched, meaning aeri still hadn't come home from work. it was understandable—she and her group were preparing for a comeback, so lately, she would come home late or sometimes sleep at their building if they finished too late.

standing up from the couch, you stretched your limbs before slipping on aeri's hoodie—the one you had stolen from her closet. grabbing your car keys and wallet, you stepped out of the apartment.

you drove to the sm building, making a quick stop at a convenience store to pick up some midnight snacks. when you arrived, you entered the building, greeting the people inside. they greeted you back without hesitation, already familiar with you from your frequent visits.

as you walked, you happened to bump into jimin, who looked like she was about to head home. her eyes widened in surprise upon seeing you before a smile spread across her face, and she waved at you.

"hey, yn! nice seeing you here," jimin greeted.

you smiled at the leader.

"hey there, jimin. heading home?"

jimin nodded, pouting. "yes, finally... practice had me beat up," she groaned.

you chuckled. "good luck on your comeback."

she smiled, exhaustion evident in her expression. "thanks, yn. we’re all working hard for it."

"by the way, aeri's stuck in the recording room. said she’s having problems with her solo song," jimin informed you.

you nodded in understanding. "got it, thanks, jimin."

with that, you bid goodbye to the leader and continued on your way.

you made your way through the vast building, finally arriving at the studio where aeri was supposedly stuck.

knocking on the glass door, you waited a moment before stepping inside.

there she was—your girlfriend, hunched over the large desk cluttered with recording equipment, her fingers typing away on the keyboard. her eyes never left the screen, completely focused.

"i'll head home once i finish this," aeri said, her voice laced with exhaustion but unwavering in determination.

you smiled and spoke,

"but i got snacks."

the sound of your voice made aeri whip her head around so fast, her face blank as she processed your presence. then, as realization hit, a wide smile spread across her face.

"baby!"

aeri pushed herself out of her seat and rushed to you, wrapping you in a warm, tight hug. she nestled her head into your neck, sighing softly as she breathed in your scent.

"baby… i missed you so much. i was just thinking about finishing my song tomorrow so i could come home to you," she murmured, her voice filled with affection.

"oh, thank you so much for coming here."

before you could respond, she pulled away just enough to smother your face with a flurry of kisses, making you laugh at her sudden burst of affection.

"oh, i miss you too, love," you responded, smiling.

aeri groaned dramatically, cupping your face with both hands.

"can we make out? like right now?" she asked out of the blue, eyes hopeful.

you stared at her, wide-eyed, before bursting into laughter.

"aeri, what—?"

she pouted. "i'm serious! i need a recharge!"

you laughed, shaking your head in amusement before letting out a sigh.

"you're unbelievable," you muttered, smiling as you brushed a strand of hair from her face.

looking at aeri's pouting face, you couldn't help but melt at the sight. with a soft sigh, you gave in, pulling her close before crashing your lips against hers.

she let out a pleased hum, arms wrapping tightly around your neck as she eagerly kissed you back, as if she'd been waiting for this all day.

aeri pressed herself closer, deepening the kiss as her fingers tangled in your hair. her desperation was evident—the long hours of work, the exhaustion, and the longing for you all pouring into the way her lips moved against yours.

you smiled into the kiss, feeling the warmth of her love, and gently cupped her face, stroking her cheek with your thumb. aeri sighed against your lips, melting into your touch as if all the stress weighing her down had vanished in that moment.

when you pulled away for a gasp of air, aeri didn’t waste a second—immediately pushing herself onto you, reclaiming your lips with desperation.

surprised, you stumbled back slightly but quickly caught up, your hands gripping her waist to steady yourself. her tongue slipped past your lips, claiming every inch of your mouth as if she couldn’t get enough. you let her take control, surrendering to her eagerness as her fingers threaded into your hair, pulling you impossibly closer.

the studio was silent except for the soft sounds of your heated kisses, the tension thick between you. aeri groaned into your mouth, clearly frustrated from days of being apart, and you couldn’t help but smile against her lips.

feeling her lungs burn from the lack of oxygen, aeri finally pulled away, resting her forehead against yours.

she panted heavily, her warm breath fanning against your lips as she tried to catch her breath.

you, on the other hand, looked at her in pure amusement.

"jesus, aeri, let me breathe, woman," you teased, a playful grin tugging at your lips.

aeri chuckled breathlessly.

"sorry, baby, couldn't help myself," she admitted, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

you shook your head, smiling fondly. pressing a quick peck on her lips, you pulled away from her touch (earning a low groan of protest from aeri) as you grabbed the snacks you bought earlier.

settling back down, you let aeri pull you onto her lap, something she insisted on. with a warm cup of noodles in hand, you occasionally fed her bites while she continued working, her arms loosely wrapped around your waist.

"this is nice."

she mumbled between bites, nuzzling her face against your shoulder for a moment before refocusing on her screen.

you chuckled, running your fingers through her hair.

"just don’t get noodle broth on the equipment, superstar."

aeri hummed, refocusing on her work.

after some typing and occasionally groaning at the screen. aeri pulled away from the computer, nuzzling her face into your neck.

"what's wrong, lovely?" you asked.

aeri mumbled something against your shoulder, but her words came out muffled and completely unintelligible.

you raised a brow, amused. "what was that?"

she pulled back slightly, pouting at you, but the playful glint from earlier was gone. instead, her eyes were hooded, darkened with something you were very familiar with—lust.

biting your lip in realization—an action that didn’t go unnoticed by aeri. her eyes instinctively flickered down to your lips before quickly snapping back up to meet your gaze, a subtle tension settling between you.

without a word, you placed your phone on the desk and shifted in her lap, adjusting your position until you were fully straddling her. aeri’s hands instinctively found their place on your waist, fingers tightening slightly as if anticipating what was coming next.

hooking your arms around her neck, you leaned in just a little, your breath mingling with hers. "you keep looking at me like that, aeri." you murmured, teasing.

aeri whined softly, her grip on your sides tightening as she gazed up at you with desperate eyes.

"baby, i miss you so much," she murmured, her voice almost trembling with need. she pressed a gentle kiss to your jaw before pulling back just enough to meet your gaze again.

"can i please have you?" she begged, her tone filled with longing, fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles against your hips.

you raised a brow, amusement lacing your tone.

"right here, right now?"

aeri bit her lip, nodding eagerly. "mm-hmm," she hummed, her hands sliding up your back, pulling you even closer. "no one's gonna come in… and i just—i need you, baby."

her eyes searched yours, dark and pleading, waiting for your answer.

wordlessly giving your answer, you slipped off aeri’s hoodie, letting it fall to the floor, leaving you in just a thin shirt.

aeri’s breath hitched, her eyes immediately roaming over you, fingers twitching against your waist. she swallowed hard, her grip tightening as she looked up at you, completely captivated.

“god, you’re gonna be the death of me,” she murmured, voice thick with want, before pulling you in, crashing her lips against yours once more.

her lips attacked yours before trailing down to your jaw and neck, leaving a path of wet, open-mouthed kisses. occasionally biting and sucking on your skin, definitely leaving some marks.

aeri's hands roamed your sides, gripping your hips as she pulled you impossibly closer. her breath was warm against your skin, and you shivered as she nipped lightly at your pulse, her lips lingering as if savoring the moment.

“missed this,” she murmured against your neck, her voice low and needy.

pulling away slightly, aeri’s gaze dropped to your chest, her fingers slipping beneath your shirt, tracing slow, teasing circles before gently cupping you in her hand.

a smirk played on your lips as you decided to give her what she wanted. gripping the hem of your shirt, you lifted it up, holding it between your teeth, putting yourself on display just for her.

aeri’s eyes sparkled with hunger, her breath hitching at the sight. with one hand, you reached back to unclasp your bra, letting it fall.

she wasted no time—her warm mouth latching onto one peak while her other hand toyed with the other, squeezing and flicking, making your breath catch.

"so beautiful," she murmured against your skin, her voice soft yet laced with desire.

while aeri busied herself with your sensitive skin, you sat there, moaning helplessly, your fingers threading through her hair as she worked her magic.

every flick of her tongue, every squeeze of her hand had you melting beneath her touch, your breaths coming out in shaky gasps.

fortunately, the studio was soundproof, meaning you didn’t have to hold back—you could be as loud as you wanted, and aeri was determined to pull every sound from you.

when aeri pulled away, a whine escaped your lips, your body instinctively leaning toward her, craving her touch. but the mischievous glint in her eyes told you she had something planned.

tilting her head slightly, she let out a playful sigh, as if speaking to no one in particular.

"forgive me, producer, but it seems i’m about to ruin your precious studio."

before you could react, her hand slipped into your pants, her fingers pressing firmly against your heated core, making you gasp at the sudden contact.

she teasingly traced slow, deliberate circles against your heated core, her touch light yet utterly consuming. soft whines and breathy moans escaped your lips, only fueling the growing hunger in her dark, needy gaze.

"so sensitive," aeri murmured, her voice laced with amusement and desire, her fingers never faltering as she watched you fall apart beneath her touch.

eager to draw more sounds from you, aeri wasted no time, slipping a finger inside—earning a sharp, shaky moan from your lips.

"fuck!" you gasped, your muscles tensing as she slowly worked her hand, dragging her finger in and out with deliberate precision.

a string of curses fell from your lips as she added another finger, stretching you just right. the way she moved—controlled, unrelenting—made it impossible to think, let alone form a coherent thought.

as her pace quickened, you became a moaning, writhing mess on her. with her other hand, she gripped your waist firmly, keeping you still on her lap.

"that's it, baby. let me hear you." aeri groaned, her voice thick with desire as she maintained the perfect pace, attuned to every sound you made.

occasionally, she curled her fingers just right, pulling a sharp gasp or a broken moan from you—each reaction only fueling her need to hear more.

your hands slipped from her shoulders, gripping the edge of the desk instead as you leaned back, giving aeri the perfect view of you.

her eyes darkened, taking in every detail, her breath hitching at the sight. "just perfect," she muttered, her touch never faltering.

the sight before her was intoxicating—your body glistening with sweat, hair a beautiful mess, drool slipping from your lips as you bit down on the hem of your shirt, exposing your marked, sensitive skin.

your stomach tensed with every whimper, every moan, completely lost in the moment.

aeri swore she could never get enough. this—you, undone beneath her—was something she wanted to witness every single day.

as your core tightened around her fingers, aeri knew you were close. without hesitation, she quickened her pace, her movements growing more intense, more precise.

your moans grew louder, your grip on the desk tightening, muscles shaking uncontrollably as your legs tensed, the overwhelming pressure building to your release.

"come on, baby," aeri coaxed, her grip firm as she held you in place, her voice dripping with hunger. "let me taste you."

aeri could break her fingers for all she cared—none of it mattered. all that mattered was you, trembling, teetering on the edge of bliss.

"that's it, baby," she murmured, eyes locked onto you, completely entranced. "let go for me."

and you did.

with a loud, breathless moan, your body shuddered, pleasure crashing over you in waves as you finally let go, releasing your juices that aeri wanted so much.

she held you steady, watching in awe as you came undone, completely lost in the sensation.

pulling her fingers out, aeri brought them to her lips, slowly sucking them clean, never once breaking eye contact with your half-lidded, dazed gaze.

"so sweet," she murmured, a smirk tugging at her lips as she watched your chest rise and fall, completely spent yet utterly mesmerizing.

you let out a weak chuckle before collapsing against her, your body still tingling from the aftermath.

aeri wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you close as she pressed soft, lingering kisses to your shoulder, her touch now gentle, soothing—a stark contrast to moments ago.

"i'm bringing a strap next time," aeri said casually, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips.

your eyes widened as you pulled away, cheeks heating up before you gave her a playful slap on the arm.

"you're insatiable," you huffed, but the grin tugging at your lips betrayed your amusement.

aeri only chuckled, pulling you back into her embrace. "only for you, baby."

as you lay in her arms, basking in the warmth of her embrace, the two of you stayed like that for a while, letting your heartbeats slowly return to normal.

unbeknownst to you, her computer had been recording the entire time—every soft whimper, every breathy moan, every syllable of your voice perfectly captured in crisp audio.

aeri had been sneaky, pressing the button when you were too lost in her touch to notice.

her gaze flickered to the blinking red dot at the corner of the screen, a subtle smirk playing on her lips.

oh, she was so going to use this. a song—one heavily inspired by you—was already forming in her mind.

[kaidasdesires]

“Your Eyes Only.” : Sunghoon

☾ grouping: Sunghoon x afab reader

☾ rating: 18+, explicit content

☾ wc: 8.9k

☾ content warnings: blood, light blood play, biting, hickies, oral fixation, explicit sex, oral sex giving and receiving, riding, y/n on top, lots of making out, fainting, yelling, jungwon gets angry, ni-ki subplot, jungwon subplot

☾ summary: Y/n feels bad that Sunghoon is at the dance studio by himself and brings him dinner. Sunghoon shows her the choreography he’s working on and can’t stop thinking about what she might taste like.

Or, Sunghoon is a vampire and shows y/n what it feels like to be bitten and how good his mouth is in more ways than one.

☾ author note: This story is fiction and does not reflect the personalities or desires of those it is written about. This story has some scenes that may be uncomfortable for some readers, read at your own discretion. This is chapter two in this series, please see my masterlist for other chapters!

☾ taglist: @who-tf-soddhi, @imnotyizhuo , @deobitifull , @ochaluver , @jakeswifez , @helenngxz , @enhalusional , @d-dilemma , @heerinnie , @qeeun-didi , @capri-cuntz , @strxwbloody , @jungwonloverr , @b3tt7boop , @zara2318 , @simbabyj , @gnvi-eve , @babygirlskz98 , @nshmrarki , @50-husbands , @peonywon , @moonpri , @binneulton , @leeheeso , @roslayy , @tunafishyfishylike , @fancypeacepersona , @irenic-max , @jiryunn , @sidecharacters , @somuchdard , @skzenhalove , @missychief1404 , @aespaqq , @strawbrrycuteblog , @ritahyelee , @reading-wh0re , @hjjssjnen7 , comment below to be added! <3

bzz bzz bzz. 

The insistent buzzing of your phone jolted you awake, its vibrations starkly contrasting to the peaceful slumber you'd been enjoying. Groaning, you blindly reached for the device, your hand fumbling across the cool surface of the bedside table until your fingers closed around its smooth edges. You brought the phone to your face, squinting at the bright screen through sleep-fogged eyes. An unfamiliar number glared back at you.

Fucking spam callers. You thought and with a sigh of resignation, you let your arm fall back onto the mattress, the phone landing beside you with a soft thud. You stared up at the ceiling, the darkness punctuated only by a thin sliver of light peeking through the black-out curtains.

Hold on. Oh my god. Heeseung’s room? It all came rushing back to you like a sudden splash of cold water. Everything that had happened the night before and how you had fallen asleep in the older boy's arms. Heeseung wasn’t with you now, though. You looked around the room. He wasn’t playing on his computer either. The keys of the keyboard slowly pulsating through the colors of the rainbow. 

You pulled the covers to your face, the soft fabric brushing against your nose. You wanted to remember the cedar smell of the night before, and sure enough, his blankets carried a similar scent. The smell sent a warm shiver through your body. However, you couldn’t help but feel a bit sad that he wasn’t here. You had no idea when he had left, and you had no memory of him slipping out of bed while you slept.

You lay there for a while, contemplating what to do next. You picked up your phone and scrolled through your notifications, none of which included a message from Heeseung. Truth be told you were just avoiding going out into the living room. You didn’t know if you were ready for the raised eyebrows and incessant questions from the other boys. They’d be able to tell why you had stayed the night, especially considering the clothes you were currently wearing didn’t belong to you. The thought brought another small pang of loneliness that Heeseung was gone. 

But it’s not like any time would be better than now, so you begrudgingly pulled your body out of the warm bed and took an extra minute to fold the sheets back and make sure it was made for Heeseung whenever he got home. You also grabbed the now empty water glasses to take to the dishwasher. You took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself once more, before pulling the door open. You stood there momentarily while you listened out into the apartment. It was quiet, the only thing you heard was the sound of the dehumidifier humming in the living room.

Then you slowly walked towards the living room before peeking around the corner and to your surprise, nobody was there. 

A wave of relief washed over you at the realization that the boys might have had a schedule today and that you didn’t have to try to explain yourself right now. You took the glasses to the sink, rolling your eyes when you saw how many dishes had been stacked up. Seriously, why can’t they clean up after themselves, you thought. Since it seemed as though nobody was here you decided to do what you had already done many times before and clean up around the dorm. 

You couldn’t help it as your mind wandered to last night as you rinsed the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. You couldn’t help the thought’s of Heeseung’s soothing voice and the way he took you on the couch. You couldn’t help it when your mind wandered to the other boys, one by one as dirty scenarios and “what ifs” came tumbling over and over through your thoughts. This became especially prominent as you wandered through the dorm, picking up discarded clothes and throwing them into the hamper to be washed. Each boy's individual colognes sends new pulses of warmth and curiosity through you. Your mind was so active with these thoughts that time flew as you did other chores for them like sweeping and vacuuming the rugs. Eventually needing a break, you flopped onto the couch, laying back and resting for a minute. 

Apparently, you were still a bit tired; you knew it had been longer than you anticipated when you were woken up by the sound of not-so-quiet whispering. If that’s what you would really call it at this point. 

“She stayed the night?” you heard Jake from nearby. 

“What’s it to you?” A defensive response from Heeseung. 

“Everyone shut up and leave her be! She cleaned up after your nasty asses so just let it go.” Jay spoke from above you, scolding the other guys for their bickering. 

You felt your face heating up, the sudden attention on you a bit flustering. You decided to continue to lay there for a minute with your eyes closed, hoping that they would go away. Maybe they would go into their rooms and you could sneak out the door without them seeing you.  Out of the blue, a hand grazes across your forehead, pushing your tousled hair out of your face. You opened your eyes slowly expecting to see Jay or Heeseung. But instead, you were met by your best friend's gentle eyes. Nevermind about sneaking out.

“Won?” You said quietly, admiring the boy's deep brown eyes as he looked back at you. 

“Hi.” He responded with a slight smile. “You fell asleep here?” 

You sat up, scratching your head in embarrassment. “Heh, yeah, I guess so. I didn’t mean to.” You chuckled, embarrassment flushing your skin. 

Jungwon just nodded. “It’s okay, nobody minds! Are you feeling okay though? Oh, and you really don’t have to clean up after us, you know.” 

“I know.” You smiled back at him, “I don’t mind it. It makes me feel better knowing that you all are taken care of.” You never wanted the boys to take on any more stress than they were already dealing with. And you knew a clean home would help even if they didn’t want to admit it. 

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes made it obvious that he was thinking about something. The slight furrow to his brow is an easy giveaway. 

“Well, you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner and hang out if you want.” He said after a minute, slipping his hands into his pockets. 

“Oh? What are you guys having?” You asked, looking over to see if the head chef, Jay, was standing in the kitchen or not. He was, but he was just sitting at the table playing on his phone.

Jungwon chuckled uncomfortably as he rocked back on his heels, his hands still shoved into his pockets. “Uh, I don’t know yet.” 

You snorted and shook your head. They really wouldn’t make it without me huh? 

“Jay, do I need to go to the convenience store for anything?” You called out, turning at the waist and peeking over the back of the couch. 

Jay smiled and looked up from his phone to you. He thought for a moment before answering. “Yeah actually. I need some more vegetables. Coming with me?” 

You nodded, standing up from the couch. You definitely needed some fresh air after your mid-day nap. 

You quickly grabbed your cardigan and put on your shoes along with Jay before he followed you out the door. 

“Hey. Don’t forget.” He called out behind you, a mask in hand.

“Oh, thanks.” You responded, taking the black mask from him and looping the hoops over your ears. 

Jay put his mask on too, and pulled his hood over his head before leading the way to the store that you had stopped at last night to get snacks for Heeseung. 

The walk was quiet. Jay wasn’t much of a talker when it was just the two of you, but his presence was safe and comfortable. You could tell that he kept peeking behind his shoulder to make sure you were still caught up with him. You knew that if you needed something Jay would be there without question. You have always felt the safest with Jay, besides Jungwon of course. 

Once you got to the store, you helped him pick the vegetables, flipping them over in your hands to look for bruising and then you grabbed some soju for the boys to enjoy as well. You would always buy it for them because if they got caught buying soju on their own it could be a bit of a scandal. 

The walk back was quiet as well except for some idle chit-chat about the weather and the schedules they’d had today. Something about recording for their upcoming album and preparing for a world tour. You hated it when they went on tour, it definitely made things a lot lonelier, especially when Jungwon was in a different time zone and couldn’t text as much. 

When you got back to the dorm you helped Jay by prepping the vegetables as he cooked the meat for dinner. The smell of it cooking slowly brought the other boys out of their rooms. When Heeseung came out you couldn’t help but blush, he looked just as good as he had the night before. He smirked when he saw how red your face got but he left it at that. 

The boys gathered around the table and you popped open a bottle of soju for them. That quickly started the sound of laughing and bickering that you loved so much. 

Once you had finished up cooking and started to plate up the food you noticed that Sunghoon was missing. You turned to Jay who was washing the dishes he had just used and putting them away into the dishwasher. At least someone knows how to clean up after themselves, you thought. 

“Where is Sunghoon?” You asked him. 

“Oh, he’s at the dance studio. He had a solo schedule today so he missed out on dance practice after recording. So he’s there now.” He replied, drying his hands and then taking two plates from you over to the table. 

You frowned, looking down at the steaming bowl of japchae that you and Jay had just cooked. You didn’t love the idea of Sunghoon having to eat packaged snacks and ramen for dinner instead of a real meal. 

You started peeking around in the cabinets until you found what you were looking for - a bento box to put some of the japchae in. You spooned out a healthy portion and closed the box before putting it into a bag that you had gotten from the store. 

“I’m going to take dinner to Sunghoon, you guys can go ahead and eat!” You spoke up, grabbing the bag and quickly heading for the door before you met any resistance. 

Surprisingly, you were met with a chorus of nods and okay’s. The food must have been good enough for the guys to not try to come with you or give you a hard time about going by yourself. But that’s not shocking considering how good of a cook Jay is. 

After once again putting on your shoes and heading out the door you pulled out your phone to check the time. It was already getting kind of late but this meant that the company building should be relatively empty so you should be able to get in with ease. 

The walk to the company building was farther than to the convenience store or your apartment but it still wasn’t too bad. You could have taken the subway and gone one stop over but it probably would have taken you a similar amount of time and you enjoyed the cool evening air anyway. The hum of the city was peaceful for you. 

When you made it to the building you slipped in through the front door with ease. The security guard gave you a friendly smile having seen you enough that he knew that you weren’t a threat. Earlier in the day, the front desk workers or other staff would have been a lot more strict, likely shooing you off or giving you an unnecessarily hard time. But the night-time security guard was always willing to turn a blind eye to your presence and you appreciated him for that. 

When you got to the dance practice rooms, all of them had their lights turned off but one. You listened for a moment to the music as it leaked into the quiet hallway. You followed the sound and the light to the room and you slowly opened the door. Surely enough, Sunghoon was in here practicing by himself. You waited by the door as you watched Sunghoon dance, letting the door quietly click closed behind you. 

The song was slow and honestly a bit sensual. You couldn’t help but watch in awe as the former figure skater danced. His movements were smooth and clean, reminiscent of his time on the ice. 

When the music stopped, Sunghoon closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. While some people may think he was frustrated you could tell he was just a bit tired. You took another step into the room before calling out to Sunghoon. 

“Hoon?” You called quietly, not wanting to startle him. 

He looked up in the mirror, a surprised look on his face when his eyes met yours in the reflection. 

“Y/n?” He said as he turned around and walked towards you, “What are you doing here?” 

He was damp with sweat, and you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander down his figure. He was wearing sweatpants and a tank top which was not something you often saw him wearing. He tended to be a bit more prude whenever you were in the house. His slender waist and toned arms were enunciated by the way his clothes stuck to him slightly and the shimmer of moisture on his skin. He raised an eyebrow when you didn’t respond right away, accidentally distracted by his looks. 

“Oh! I brought you dinner. We made japchae and I didn’t want you to be eating prepackaged snacks or ramen when we had good food at the dorm.” You explained, lifting the bag in your hand. 

Sunghoon smiled, his eyes turning into tiny crescents. “You didn’t have to y/n. But thank you.” 

“Of course!” You responded, leading the way over to the other side of the room as Sunghoon trailed behind you. There was a couch but you sat on the floor so that way you wouldn’t have to hold the bento box and could both just sit comfortably and eat with the floor as your table. 

“Are you staying to eat with me?” He asked as you sat down on the floor. 

“Is that okay? I packed enough for the two of us but if you’re really hungry I can just eat back at the dorm.” You replied as he sat down beside you. 

“No, please stay. I’d love your company.” Sunghoon smiled, his pointy canines greeting you. 

You pulled out the bento box, and to your surprise, there was still a bottle of soju in the bag. You swore you didn’t put that in there. 

Sunghoon's eyebrows quirked up in curiosity at the soju bottle. “Hmm.. trying to relive that night?” He said suddenly, his voice teasing. 

You felt your ears heat up at his question. What is he trying to insinuate? 

“I— I just, I think one of the boys put this in here.” You said, turning the bottle over a few times in your hand and dodging his question. Sunghoon took the bottle from you and took a peek at the flavor. 

“Strawberry.” He stated, twisting the cap open. “Wonder what it tastes like.” 

Sunghoon mumbled the second part and this confused you. Obviously the drink would taste like strawberry. Why would he ask something like that? It’s not like he’s never had strawberry flavored stuff before. 

You shook your head, brushing the thoughts away and dumbing it down to maybe you just misheard him. 

He took a drink of the soju, not even grimacing at the alcoholic aftertaste before he passed it over to you. He motioned for you to drink some too, before moving to open up the bento box and start eating. You hesitated, knowing that this was somewhat of an indirect kiss with him. Obviously you know this isn’t a big deal and a little bit silly to get flustered about, but you couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to actually kiss Sunghoon because of it. 

You took a drink of the soju too, the alcohol sending a slight burn down the back of your throat. It was good, sweet, and very easy to get down. 

“It’s sweet!” You said out loud, setting the bottle down in between the two of you. Sunghoon nodded in between bites and handed you a pair of chopsticks from the bag. You took them from him and quickly dug into the food in front of you. All that cleaning and cooking had worked up quite an appetite. 

“I bet you’re sweet too.” He said quietly, the look in his eyes unreadable, before he took another bite. 

You almost choked on your food, unable to interpret the meaning of his statement. You didn’t want to assume anything. He probably just meant my personality right? 

You didn’t know what to say back, so instead you both sat in a comfortable silence while you ate. Well, comfortable except for not being able to concentrate on anything except what Sunghoon had said and how good he looks right now. 

After a little bit, the soju was working its magic and easily heating up your system. It wasn’t too much, you were still perfectly in your right mind, it just helped relieve any awkwardness you might be feeling with the two of you being alone. Sunghoon’s cheeks were ever so slightly pink, but you weren't sure if it was from the soju or just from him having been dancing and hot. 

When you were both done eating, Sunghoon cleaned up the mess and threw it away in the trash can by the door. 

“There’s still like two more shots in here.” He said, motioning to the soju bottle that still sat on the floor as he came back from the trash can. 

“Let’s share then!” You replied, giving him a cute grin. Sunghoon looked at the bottle for a second, then back at you and you watched as a smirk appeared on his face. 

“Okay.” He said as he took one more sip from the bottle and then handed it to you. 

He watched you intently as you drank the last of the alcohol from the bottle. The way his eyes seemed to drink in the sight of you instead caused a slow tingle up your spine. 

When you put the bottle back down, Sunghoon was still staring at you and for a moment you couldn’t help but stare back. Time seemed to slow down as you admired his features. The way a few strands of black hair had fallen down onto his forehead brushing against his long eyelashes. The small constellation of moles on his cheek and the side of his nose, and the way his thick, well-defined eyebrows and chiseled jawline made him look so intense, in a good way of course.

“Sunghoon?” You asked quietly, his stare intimidating you a bit. “Is everything—,” Your question was abruptly cut off, swallowed by a surprised whimper when, as quick as lightning, Sunghoon was level with you and his lips were on yours. 

After a second, his lips parted from yours, and he pulled back slightly to gaze at your flushed face. The playful smirk remained etched on his features as he leaned in for another kiss.

He crawled forward, pushing your back into the bottom of the couch, causing you to fall back on your palms. 

Heat crept up your neck, staining your cheeks a deep crimson. It was almost as if he had plucked the desire to kiss him directly from your thoughts, leaving you breathless and yearning for more.

His hand reached up, tangled into the soft strands of your hair, and tugged causing you to gasp. Sunghoon took this opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. 

His sudden boldness caught you so off guard you couldn’t help but whine again, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth. You kissed him back, desire quickly sparking across your skin. 

But just as quickly as things had started, Sunghoon pulled away, leaving you a tiny bit desperate for more. You watched, a pang of disappointment washing over you as he leaned back, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. His smirk was now replaced by a look of smug satisfaction as if he knew the effect he had on you and reveled in it. 

“I told you, I wondered what it tastes like.” He replied nonchalantly before standing up. You looked up at him, your mouth slightly agape, still frozen in shock with your back up against the couch. 

“I’m going to do one more run-through of the song, you can watch and tell me what you think.” He said as he walked away from you and towards the speaker system across the room. 

What the fuck was that. You thought as you slowly picked yourself up off the ground and flopped onto the couch.

He meant, my lips? He wondered what my lips tasted like???? 

Your mind was racing, and your skin was hot. And a tiny part of you sulked, wondering why he had just stopped there and not kept going. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the countdown before the song began, and you leaned back into the couch willing yourself to pay attention and focus instead of getting caught up on what had just happened. 

You watched Sunghoon in awe as he performed the song for you. At first, he just seemed to be in his own world, not focusing on anything but the dance. 

Brighter than the sun

That's just me

Monster, even if you call me

I don't even care

You begin to notice the lyrics of the song, and how for a moment when Sunghoon’s eyes catch yours in the mirror he looks a bit sad. You wonder why this song makes him seem like he’s thinking so much. There’s a short pause in the song before suddenly Sunghoon turns around and he faces you as he continues to dance. 

Dance for me forever

Look at me in the broken mirror

And tune it with the feet

This beautiful moment I don't stop

Woah, again, chaconne now

You were sure this wasn’t part of the choreography, especially with the way he was now staring you down. His eyes traveled up and down your body as you were sitting on the couch. 

His eyes?! 

Your breath hitched as you noticed Sunghoon's eyes, their usual dark brown replaced by a chilling crimson. The vibrant red held you captive, a mesmerizing shade of burgundy that seemed to shimmer with an otherworldly intensity. Despite the unsettling change in his eyes, the rest of Sunghoon's features remained unchanged. 

The melody of the song continued, weaving its way around you both. Each note resonated with the tension in the room, the rhythm mirroring the quickened pace of your own breathing. Fear mingled with curiosity, a potent cocktail of emotions that left you both frozen and fascinated.

Dance for mе, like you're drunk and fascinated by mе

I just wanna dance on, can't stop it

This is my world in the dark

Woah, again, chaconne now

The room suddenly spun around you as Sunghoon's strong arms lifted you effortlessly, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. In the blink of an eye, your back met the cool surface of the mirror. Sunghoon's body was a warm, solid presence against yours, caging you in gently but firmly. His breath ghosted across your ear, sending a tingle across the skin. 

The music thrummed through the air, a sensual backdrop to the moment's intimacy. The beat seemed to echo the rapid rhythm of your heart, pounding in your chest as Sunghoon's proximity ignited a fire within you. His closeness was intoxicating, the scent of his cologne mingling with the warmth of his skin, making you dizzy with desire. 

“Honestly Y/n… your lips make me wonder what the rest of you would taste like.” He whispered. 

“I– Sunghoon..,” was all you could manage before he started to kiss along your jawbone and down your neck. His kisses were soft, followed by a quick press of his teeth to your skin before he let out a low groan of desperation. He pulled back to look at you once more. 

“Am I overstepping?” He asked, a bit of worry in his crimson eyes. His jaw clenched as if he was holding back from devouring you all at once. 

“N-no. You’re not. I'm just surprised. I mean, I guess I'm not that surprised since Jungwon told me you all liked me but still.” You responded, placing a reassuring hand on his chest. 

“I'm surprised too, but more so that you haven’t figured out what I am yet.” He said, planting another quick kiss on your neck before leaning back again to look at you. “And, I think it’s important that you know before we continue.” 

You were quiet for a moment, all you felt like you had to go on was that he was particularly fast and his eyes were red. 

“I’m not sure.” You replied, a little embarrassed as you tried to flip through your memories of him but nothing stood out. 

Sunghoon gripped your waist and flipped you around pressing you forward into the mirror. You braced your hands against it, letting out a noise of surprise as the cool surface touched your chest. 

His body was flush against you and your mind raced back and forth between his beautiful red eyes and the way they seemed to hold you captive and the way you could feel he was turned on against you. 

“Let’s think about it shall we?” He said, breath hot against your neck and ear. “I’m faster than the average person, and my eyes are red. When’s the last time you’ve seen me outside in a short-sleeved t-shirt?” 

You quickly dug through this information trying to piece it together before realization hit you like a truck. 

Vampire?!

You looked up only to see him smiling in the mirror, his sharp canines making another appearance. 

Of course. His cute little fangs! How did I not guess sooner? 

“You’re a vampire?” You whispered, a bit surprised, a chill washing over you. 

“Good job princess,” Sunghoon replied, placing another kiss against your neck, your pulse seeming to draw him in. 

The pet name sends a shock wave directly to your abdomen. 

“So, what do you say?” Sunghoon asks with a smirk, his voice laced with need. “Will you let me taste you?” 

Your mind is fogged by lust, making it hard to process exactly what he’s saying. You don’t know much about vampires besides what movies and books have written. How do you know what is true? If he bites you will you turn into a vampire? Will he be able to stop? But again, Jungwon promised none of them would ever hurt you and you really just wanted to feel his lips on yours again. Logic and desire raged war in your mind, but ultimately you decided to trust your best friend's word and let your body lead. 

“Y-yes.” you answer him, your voice quiet, “Please.” 

Sunghoon groans again, hearing you say please. “It will only hurt for a second.” He whispers before reaching around you, grabbing your chin, and tilting your neck to one side to give him better access. 

Your heart starts to pound against your chest, adrenaline soaring through your veins. Your brain is like an alarm system as it warns you of danger yet your feet are traderious against it and keep you firmly planted in place. Fight or flight begs you to run but yet curiosity wins out. 

Sunghoon places one last kiss against your neck and wraps his other arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. He looks into your eyes in the reflection and bares his teeth against your skin. The sight is incredibly arousing. Then he slowly bites down into the sensitive skin of your neck. You clench your fists and let out a pained whimper as his sharp canines tear through your skin. He squeezes you tight as if you reassure you as he pushes his teeth down. It does hurt, and for a moment you feel dizzy and lightheaded before the pain gives way to pleasure. You can feel Sunghoon sucking against your skin, his eyes closed as he indulges himself. You can’t help but moan as the feeling becomes hot and sends pulsing heat through your body straight to your core. You can feel Sunghoon smile as he continues to suck at your skin. He knows all too well what the effect of his bite is having on your body. You tremble in his tight grip as he drinks, a mix of the adrenaline and overwhelming desire setting your nerves alight. After another moment, he pulls away, you watch him in awe as blood trickles from the corner of his mouth. A thin line of blood seeps from the open wound on your neck. You only worry about that for a second before Sunghoon flips you back around. 

“Taste it.” He urges before abruptly kissing you again. His tongue finds its way into your mouth with ease. You tense up expecting to be grossed out by the coppery metal taste, but instead, you are surprised by a sweet aftertaste. Your blood tastes so good that you wonder briefly if drinking someone else's blood is even better. 

“I knew it would be sweet,” He purrs pressing his forehead against yours, seemingly overcome with ecstasy from drinking your blood. 

You lick your own lips, getting the last of the blood taste off of them. Then you reach your arms around the taller boy's neck, pulling him back down into a heated kiss. Sunghoon gives you control and allows you to lick into his mouth, your tongues clashing but not in a fight for dominance, but simply because neither of you can get enough of each other. 

You find yourself chasing after the sweet taste in his mouth, your mind hazing over with lust and desire. Sunghoon reaches behind your legs, lifting you before walking you over to the couch and setting you down, but your lips never leave one another. 

Sunghoon places a knee between your legs as he leans over you, your mouths still attached in a fury of kisses. You feel him shift to pull your cardigan from your shoulders, exposing your skin to the cool air of the dance studio. You unwrap your arms from his neck to let the cardigan fall off you and Sunghoon pulls it from behind you to place it to the side. 

“You know Princess,” Sunghoon says between kisses, “I could always get you off, right here, right now.” 

You can’t help but whine, the idea of him pleasuring you going straight to your core. You pull away from him and he can see the concern in your eyes. 

“But, the door. What if we get caught?” You reply, despite your overwhelming desire to have him, you don’t want to risk getting him in trouble. 

He just chuckles in response, disappearing only for a second to lock the door. 

Since when do these doors even have locks? 

Then in a matter of seconds, he’s by his phone and the speakers, putting the song on repeat before he’s right back in front of you. 

“There. Nobody can come in now, but they wouldn’t anyway with the music and lights on.” He gives you a reassuring smile. 

Sunghoon kisses your head before he moved down to kneel in front of you. 

“What are you–,” you start to say, trying to close your legs out of habit, but he places a firm hand on your thighs keeping them from closing. 

“I can't wait any longer,” He says before you can finish, “Let me taste more of you.” 

His fingers are sneaking their way up your thighs to the waistband of your leggings. You look down at Sunghoon and you can't help but blush at the way he’s looking at you with a feverish desperation to please. 

You lift your hips from the couch, allowing his slender fingers to pull your leggings down and he helps you out of them. Then he leans up and pulls your legs forward to the edge of the couch. You watch as he licks his lips and leans in to kiss along the inside of your thighs. You spread them apart for him, the alcohol in your system helping you push past the barrier of shyness. He moves up your legs slowly leaving hot kisses in his wake before he looks up at you through thick eyelashes and kisses against your panties. 

You moan, the image in front of you is erotic and only helps fuel your desire to let him please you. He licks against the fabric, causing a shock to race through your body. 

God, fuck. 

Your mind is racing with need, still high from being bitten by him. He kisses and licks a few times through the damp fabric before he slowly slips it to the side. He looks up at you once again giving you the chance to change your mind, before he leans in and licks a stripe from your heat all the way to your clit. 

You gasp, reaching to thread your fingers into his hair. He lets out a noise of contentment as your fingers tug gently against his scalp. Then he is circling his tongue around your clit, pulling whines and whimpers from your mouth with expertise. His hands come up to pull you closer by the back of your hips and you lift your legs to put them over his shoulders giving him better access to you. 

“Sunghoon, fuck,” you moan, as his tongue slides up and down your heat, and it seems like he's never had a meal in his life even though you just had dinner together. 

He continues to eat you out, tongue working like you’ve never felt before as he teases you closer and closer to coming undone. After a few minutes of this, one of his hands releases from behind you and you feel his fingers dragging up and down your slick as he sucks on your clit. He easily slides two fingers into you, and you drop your head back with a moan as his slender fingers pump slowly inside you. You can feel him smirk as he quickens the pace of his fingers before curling them against your walls. He quickly finds the spot he was searching for and his fingers work against it. 

“Oh– Hoon,” is all you can manage to get out as he begins to relentlessly hit that spot over and over again, his tongue still working slow circles on your clit. You can feel your abdomen tightening and you know you won't be able to last long like this. The feeling is overwhelming with the inclusion of his fingers. 

“I’m close…” you whisper out, a little bit embarrassed by how quickly he is going to get you to cum. Sunghoon only responds by speeding up his tongue. Your body begins to tremble as your release quickly approaches and you fist your fingers into his hair and push him deeper against you. He lets out a noise that sounds almost like a growl against your skin and the vibration sends you over the edge. 

You cum hard, your whole body shaking against Sunghoon’s mouth and fingers as he pushes you through your orgasm. You bite your lip to keep quiet despite the music being relatively loud.

After a minute, Sunghoon finally pulls away from you, his hair now messy. You watch him as he licks his lips and then wipes his mouth off on his arm.

“As I expected,” he muses, “you taste just as sweet here too.” 

“Stop it,” you whine, pushing his shoulder. His words make you shy. 

As you come down from your high, Sunghoon stands up and you can’t help but notice his length straining against his pants. This image sends another shock of lust and desire through your body. 

You slide off the couch onto your knees in front of him and you wrap your fingers around his waistband. 

“Let me help you with this.” You say, looking up at him with big eyes. 

“Whatever you want Princess.” He replies with a smile, reaching down to brush your hair back from your face. 

Honestly, you just want him to fuck you. But it's only fair to return the favor considering the way he just made you see stars the way no one else has before.

You pull the waistband of his pants and his boxers down in one swift movement and his cock springs free, slapping against the skin of his stomach. He grimaces at the sudden cold air against his skin. 

Sunghoon’s cock is slender but decent in length with a pretty pink tip. It’s truthfully as beautiful as he is. You can’t help but admire him. 

You grab his length gently before licking the tip and then quickly taking it into your mouth. 

“Fuck,” Sunghoon curses above you as he jolts unexpectedly into you causing you to almost gag. You don’t tease him knowing that he's already been waiting long enough for some attention and you slowly bob your mouth up and down his length. 

Sunghoon rests a hand in your hair as you take him in and out of your mouth. You use your hands to cover what you can’t reach with your mouth. 

“You’re so pretty like this.” Sunghoon praises you from above. His red eyes watch you closely as you sink down on his length. You whine around his cock at the praise and you sink further down. 

Sunghoon groans above you, his fingering tightening in your hair as he shallowly starts to thrust into your mouth. 

You look up at him as he does this, tears brimming your eyes as he thrusts further and further into your mouth. He continues like this for a minute, slowly fucking your mouth with his hand fisted in your hair before he pulls himself out of your mouth. 

“Come here.” He demands, turning around and pulls off his bottoms and his tank top before sitting on the couch. 

You can’t help but stare at Sunghoon now sitting naked in front of you, his hard length leaking precum as he pumps it a few times with one hand. 

This feels a bit unfair. You think, considering the fact that you still have your tank top and panties on. So you decide to slowly pull off your tank top, teasing Sunghoon with a little show. 

“Mmmm… princess.” Sunghoon coos, admiring your figure as you pull the tank top off of your breasts and over your head. You blush at the tone of his voice and the way his hungry eyes watch you carefully. Then you step out of your panties, letting him see you fully before approaching him. 

He reaches a hand out to you and when you take it he pulls you down into his lap, his other hand coming over to grasp the back of your neck and lead into another feverish make out session. 

His cock slides against your heat as you’re sitting in his lap, legs straddling him. 

Sunghoon breaks away from kissing your lips to kiss down your collarbones and towards your breasts. He starts to suck pretty bruises into your skin along that same path. 

“Hoon—,” you whine, the hickeys hurting and bringing small sparks of pleasure at the same time. “Want you.” 

“Take what you want then princess,” he purrs, “I’m all yours.”

His words overwhelm you, the implication of them too much to process when you’re consumed by lust. You wanted nothing more than for him to be inside you. 

You lean back a bit, reaching between your bodies to grasp his length. You lift yourself before slowly sinking down onto his cock. Your mouth falls open in a quiet moan as you let his cock fill you up. 

Sunghoon grasps your hips, his fingers pressing into your skin tightly as he feels your warmth surrounding his length. 

“Fuck—,” he curses, his eyes seemingly darker and hungry. 

His cock slides in and out of you easily, already wet from spit and your cum as you slowly lift up and down on his length. You brace yourself on his shoulders as you pick up your pace and Sunghoon supports you by holding tightly onto your hips. 

“Such a good girl,” He praises as you fuck yourself on his cock. “I didn’t know you wanted me this badly.” 

“Want.. all of you,” you reply, the second part a bit quieter. 

“Mmm, I know princess, and we all want you too.” He responds, leaning down to kiss your neck again, his tongue licking against where he had bitten you earlier. 

You moan, the feeling of his tongue on the sensitive spot causes a tightening in your stomach. You pick up your pace, riding his cock as quickly as your body would allow. 

This continues for a few minutes before Sunghoon suddenly tilts over and lays back on the couch like you would on a bed. The couch is cramped but big enough for you to have space for both knees on either side of him. You’re still straddling him but this position allows you to lean forward over him, so you do. You start to kiss his neck, leading Sunghoon to moan back into your ear. Who knew his neck was just as sensitive as yours? 

Sunghoon reaches back and grabs your ass, pushing you forward against him before he takes over and starts fucking into you. 

The feeling is incredible, the pace so much faster and harder since Sunghoon has taken control. Your legs shake at the pleasure, his cock perfectly hitting that sensitive spot again and again. 

“I’m going to make you cum so hard princess,” He pants out between breaths, his breath hot against your ear. 

“Please, please,” you whine, every thrust heating your body. The desire to come undone again taking over you. 

You feel Sunghoon’s teeth against your skin again, right where he had bitten you before. Hesitation only crosses your mind for a moment. You know how good it will feel after the pain is gone. Surely enough, Sunghoon’s teeth bare down into your skin once more. 

You cry out in pain, it hurts more this time since the place is already sensitive from the first time, but when Sunghoon starts to suck on the open wound the pain is quickly overridden by pure ecstasy. Sunghoon’s pace quickens and you’re so overwhelmed by pleasure that the world seems to spin around you. 

“Hoon, please–,” you gasp, his thrusts bringing moan after moan out of you. He doesn't respond, he’s too busy indulging himself, but you know he’s encouraging you by the way he maintains a quick and harsh pace. You’ve never cum without clitoral stimulation, but you’re about to from his bite and him hitting your gspot over and over again. 

You cry out when you tip over the edge, and Sunghoon sucks extra hard against his bite. Your body shakes and you’re cumming so hard that your vision starts to darken at the edges. Sunghoon fucks you through it, his thrusts becoming unsteady as you tighten around him. He groans, a string of praises coming from his mouth against your ear as he chases his orgasm. He pulls out when he cums, shooting white strings against your ass.

You nuzzle against his face, and he pets the back of your head. 

“Good girl princess,” he praises you, kissing you over and over again. You smile, a safe warmth taking over your body. Your eyes get heavy, and you feel lightheaded. 

“What do you mean she passed out Sunghoon?” you heard Jay’s voice. 

“I may have gotten a little carried away,” Sunghoon responded sheepishly. 

“You bit her?!” Jay asked, his voice raised. 

“Shh! Keep it down.” Sunghoon replied, his voice sharp. 

You started to wake up feeling a bit weak and disoriented. You felt your body being placed down on what you can only assume was the same couch you had fallen asleep on earlier. 

“She’ll be fine,” Sunghoon spoke up again. “I promise I took good care of her.” 

“If Jungwon finds out about this, you’re so dead Sunghoon,” Jay replied and you could hear him pacing around the room in front of you. 

You slowly open your eyes, and you can see Sunghoon standing above you, his arms crossed and Jay still pacing his fingers running through his hair. The latter seemed stressed about the circumstances. But you were fine, just tired. 

“Jay? Hoon?” you called out quietly. “I’m okay.” 

Jay turned around quickly and rushed over to you, kneeling beside the couch. 

“Thank god,” Jay replied, placing a hand on your forehead to see if you were too warm. “You should stay the night here y/n. You’re too weak to go home, it wouldn’t be safe.” 

You nodded in response, too tired to go home anyway. You looked at Sunghoon who was looking down at you smiling sweetly and you couldn’t help but smile back. He had made you feel so incredibly good. 

“What is going on?” you hear from across the room. It was Jungwon. You hear Jay curse above you, but it is so quiet that you’re confident that you were the only one who heard him. 

“Oh Jungwon,” Sunghoon replied, “Y/n wasn’t feeling well after eating so she’s going to stay the night here.” 

You didn’t understand why exactly Sunghoon was lying, but you didn’t have enough energy to speak up about it. 

Jay stood up as Jungwon came over, when he appeared in your view you smiled at him. He looked concerned, worried even. But as he looked over you, you watched as his eyes flicked to anger. 

“Get out.” He said suddenly, his eye contact never breaking from you. 

“Jungwon it’s fine, she’s—,” Jay spoke up, stepping forward, trying to reassure the younger boy. 

“I said GET OUT.” Jungwon interrupted him, voice tense and loud, and the lights in the room flickered. 

Jay cursed again and grabbed Sunghoon by the arm dragging him out of the room. 

The energy in the room was thick and you began to shiver a bit, suddenly a bit cold. 

Jungwon kneeled beside you, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked over you. His eyes caught on what you thought was your chest, but when you looked down you saw a stain of blood down your skin and onto your tank top. 

“Are you okay?” Jungwon spoke, his voice now tender as he continued to look over you. 

“I’m okay, Won, j-just tired and c-cold.” your voice shaking from shivering. 

Jungwon nods, his jaw clenching as he thinks. 

“I want you to sleep with me tonight,” he says suddenly. 

“Oh,” you stutter again, his request catching you off guard, “It’s okay, I’m j-just cold, I can sleep on the couch!” 

“No. I want you to sleep with me, it's… safer,” he replies, hesitating on the last part. 

“Jungwon? Y/n?” Another voice echos through the room and then suddenly Ni-ki comes into view. The younger boy looks over you and his eyebrows furrow the same way Jungwon’s did. 

Jungwon turns to the younger boy and whispers in his ear. Ni-ki nods and leans over to you. His arms easily slide up underneath you and pick you up. 

You’re shocked by the younger boy's strength but you don’t resist, still feeling disoriented and dizzy. Ni-ki takes you to the bathroom and sits you down on the countertop. 

“I’m just going to help clean you up.” He says quietly, walking over to the cabinet to get a washcloth and then running under warm water at the sink.

You can’t help but blush as the younger boy dabs the washcloth on your skin wiping away the dried blood. You’ve never been alone with Ni-ki and you’ve never been this close to him in a situation like this. He’s attractive as hell just like the rest of the boys and you find yourself admiring him up close. 

“Does it hurt?” Ni-ki interrupts your thoughts as he wipes closer to the actual bite. 

“Not really, just sore,” you respond, tilting your neck a bit to give him a better angle. 

Ni-ki stops wiping for a second and then he abruptly looks up, his dark eyes staring into yours. You feel your skin heat up at his intensity. 

“Y/n,” he starts, “Tell me if one of them ever gets too rough. Or if they hurt you…,” There’s a pause in his sentence as if he is thinking about whether or not he should be saying what he's saying before he continues, “I will protect you, y/n.” 

Ni-ki continues to wipe away the crusted blood, being incredibly gentle where Sunghoon bit you. You’re speechless at his comment, but you feel the passion behind his words so you nod. 

After a minute Jungwon comes in with some clothes of his. “Let’s get you into these okay? I’ll wash the clothes you’re wearing.” He says as he places his clothes next to you on the counter. 

“Do you need help?” Ni-ki asks, helping you down from the countertop. Your legs shake beneath you, but you hesitate, being way too shy to get undressed in front of the two younger boys. Ni-ki notices your hesitation and speaks again before you can respond.  “I’ll close my eyes, promise.” 

“I’ll wait for you in my room,” Jungwon replies, closing the door behind him and leaving you and Ni-ki alone. 

Ni-ki closes his eyes and holds out his hands for you to use him to balance. You slowly take off your dirty clothes, face warming up in shyness when you're exposed in front of the younger boy, but he keeps his eyes closed. 

You eye him carefully as you remove your panties, but he still keeps his eyes closed honoring his promise. That is until you get a little too distracted and stumble while trying to put on Jungwon’s sweatpants. 

Ni-ki moves quickly, his eyes shooting open as he catches you against his chest. You’re now face to face, his eyes staring deeply into yours as he keeps you standing upright. His hands are firmly on your waist as he keeps eye contact. Your faces are inches away, if anyone walked in they’d think you were about to kiss. 

He chuckles. “You’re cute when you’re blushing.” He releases his grip and closes his eyes again. 

You mumble out a shy thank you before pulling Jungwon’s sweatpants the rest of the way up. You give Ni-ki the okay to open his eyes and the younger boy helps you to Jungwon’s room. 

When you enter the room, Jungwon is in pajamas. He gets up and takes over for Ni-ki and helps you into his bed. 

Ni-ki smiles and says goodnight before closing the door behind him leaving you and Jungwon alone in his room. 

You sink into Jungwon’s bed, and the smell of your best friend on the sheets sends that warm comfortable feeling over you again. Jungwon lays beside you and he sighs. You look over at him and the tension is still in his jaw and eyebrows. You pull Jungwon’s arm up and roll over into his chest and you lay your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. 

“I’m okay, Won,” you whisper out, letting your free arm drape over his stomach. 

He relaxes underneath you, wraps his arms around you, and holds you tightly. You start to doze feeling warm and safe in your best friend's arms. 

“Don’t scare me like that again y/n,” He says quietly above you when he thinks you’ve drifted off to sleep, “I couldn’t handle it if I lost you.” 

You couldn’t understand why Jungwon was so worked up about this situation or why he was so angry at Sunghoon and Jay. Sure, you were a little sore and exhausted but otherwise you were fine. But right now you didn’t have the energy to worry about it and decided you’ll confront him about it later. 

You smile as sleep takes you captive. Today had been so good. You felt so loved and so taken care of. You couldn’t think about Sunghoon for too long otherwise you’d get worked up again so instead you let the love and compassion from your best friend fill your mind as you fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. You hoped tomorrow would be even better than today. 

☾ authors note: Thank you for reading and being so patient with me! This chapter turned out to be a bit more graphic than I originally anticipated but its still quite tame compared to the later monsters in this series! I look forward to sharing the rest with you!

Chapter One

Chapter Three

Chapter Directory

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

They Accidentally Bring Up an Insecurity| Chan

Gah finally trying to finish this set of fics!!

Bangchan x Gn!Reader

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The studio was a second home by now. The soft hum of equipment, the flickering lights of the soundboard, and the distant rumble of music playing through Chan’s headphones. You had been here countless times before, but tonight felt different- heavier. Chan’s sighs, the way his fingers tapped nervously on the keyboard, all of it told you that something was off.

You watched him from the couch, phone forgotten in your hands. He hadn’t said much since you arrived, and his silence was unsettling. You could imagine the look he had on his face. His brows furrowed, his lips pouting but also somehow in a straight line at the same time and also pursed.

Finally, after what felt like hours of him brooding in front of the screen, hands hovering without touching a single key, you spoke up. “Chris, is everything okay?”

He didn’t turn to look at you right away. His fingers twitched above the keyboard, hands still hovering just above the keys as if he was debating whether to say anything at all. A long sigh escaped him before he slumped back in his chair, his eyes staring blankly at the monitor. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Just…feels like I’m not doing enough.”

The words hit you harder than they should have, but you kept your face neutral. You had heard Chan talk like this before, the weight of responsibility pressing down on him like a constant storm cloud. But tonight, it felt more personal, like his doubts were cutting into something deeper.

“You always work so hard, though,” you said softly, trying to find the right words to ease his worries. “Everyone sees it. The members, the fans, everyone.”

Chan let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he swiveled his chair to you. “That’s the thing. I don’t think I’m enough. I feel like I’m always faking it, just doing what I can to stay afloat. One day, people are going to see right through me. They're going to be disappointed.”

You frowned, your heart aching at how harsh he was being on himself. “That’s not true. You do more than enough. You-” But your words faltered as something shifted inside you, a familiar knot tightening in your chest. "You won't disappoint anyone Chris. You haven't and you won't."

Chan’s self-criticism, the way he doubted his worth, resonated too closely with the insecurities you kept buried. If someone like him-talented, hardworking, and loved by so many- could feel this way, then what did that say about you?

If Chan didn’t feel like he was enough, how could you ever feel like you were doing enough to support him?

You swallowed hard, trying to push the thought away. This was about Chan, not you. He needed reassurance right now. But the insecurity had already latched on, creeping into the back of your mind.

“I’m serious, Chan,” you continued, trying to keep your voice steady. “You’re amazing, and you’re doing more than anyone could ever ask of you.”

He sighed again, rubbing a hand over his face. “I wish I could believe that.”

You wanted to say more, to keep comforting him like you always did, but doubt tugged at you, making your chest feel tight. Maybe your words weren’t enough. Maybe you weren’t doing enough to show him how much you cared.

Chan stood abruptly, pulling off his headphones. “I need a break. Let’s get out of here.”

You blinked, surprised by the sudden shift, but nodded. “Yeah, sure. Where do you want to go?”

He shrugged, grabbing his jacket. “Anywhere but here.”

You stood and followed him out of the studio, but the knot in your stomach only tightened as you walked side by side through the darkened halls.

His doubts had stirred something in you, and now, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe you weren’t showing your love well enough. Maybe that was why he felt like this- like he wasn’t enough.

The night air was cool as you walked together, the city buzzing quietly around you. Chan hadn’t said much since you left the studio, and you didn’t push him. Sometimes, he needed space to sort through his thoughts, and you respected that.

But the silence only made your mind race.

You ended up at a small diner a few blocks away. It was nearly empty, the late hour ensuring you’d have some privacy. The bell above the door jingled as you entered, and Chan slid into a booth, his shoulders still tense, his eyes distant.

You sat across from him, fiddling with the edge of the menu but not really reading it. The weight of unspoken words hung between you both, heavier than ever. You swallowed the knot stuck in your throat.

“I don’t get it,” Chan muttered after a long pause, breaking the silence. He was staring at the table now, his fingers tracing absent patterns on the surface. “I should be happy. I should feel grateful for everything I have, but I just… don’t, sometimes. I feel like I don't deserve any of this.”

Your heart clenched at his words, the knot in your stomach tightening painfully. The doubt in his voice mirrored the doubt that had been growing in you since the studio. You bit your lip, trying to find something- anything -to say that would make him see his worth.

But then his next words hit you like a punch to the gut.

“Maybe I don’t deserve the love people give me,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “Maybe I’m not doing enough to earn it.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and suddenly, everything he’d said before fell into place. His doubts weren’t just about his work- they were about him. And the worst part was, those same doubts had already crept into your own heart.

Was that why he didn’t feel loved? Because you weren’t showing him enough?

You stayed silent for a moment too long, lost in your thoughts, and Chan looked up, frowning slightly. “You okay?” he asked, his tone softer now, more concerned.

You forced a smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied, quickly glancing down at the menu. “Just…thinking.”

Chan studied you for a moment, his gaze lingering on your face, but thankfully, he didn’t push. He sighed, leaning back against the booth, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just tired, I guess.”

You nodded, though the heaviness in your chest made it hard to focus on his words. The conversation from earlier kept replaying in your mind, each sentence twisting the knife of insecurity a little deeper.

The waitress came by to take your orders, and you mumbled something about getting fries and a drink. Chan ordered without much thought, clearly still lost in his own world.

As you waited for the food, you found yourself staring out the window, watching cars pass by on the quiet street. Your thoughts were louder than the hum of the diner, the doubts louder than anything Chan could say to reassure you.

Maybe you weren’t enough. Maybe you hadn’t been showing him enough love, enough care, enough support. If Chan—someone who was adored by millions -felt like he didn’t deserve love, then what did that mean for you? What if you were part of the problem?

Chan was rambling on about something, but you barely registered his words. His voice faded into the background as your mind spiraled. How many times had you thought you were doing enough? How many times had you comforted him, thinking your words were making a difference? And yet, here he was, doubting everything, including whether he deserved to be loved.

You must have spaced out because suddenly, Chan was waving his hand in front of your face. “Hey, baby, everything good? You’re really out of it tonight.”

You blinked, forcing yourself to focus. “Sorry,” you mumbled. “I’m just…tired, I guess.”

Chan frowned, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You sure, love? You’ve been kind of quiet since the studio.”

You nodded quickly, trying to push away the insecurity gnawing at you. This wasn’t about you- it was about him. You needed to be strong, to be the one who could lift him up.

But before you could say anything, Chan leaned forward, his expression softening as he grabbed your hands. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down on you, but you forced yourself to smile. “Yeah, I know. I’m just…processing.”

He didn’t seem convinced, but he let it go, turning his attention back to the table. The food arrived shortly after, and the conversation turned light again, though there was an undercurrent of something unspoken between you.

Hours had passed since you both left the studio. Chan’s apartment was usually a safe space, where the weight of the outside world faded into the background, but tonight, the air was thick with unspoken tension. You were both physically exhausted, but it felt like there was more lingering beneath the surface.

Chan sat beside you on the couch, his arm draped around your shoulders, fingers idly playing with the fabric of your shirt. The TV flickered in the dimly lit room, but neither of you was paying attention to whatever show was playing in the background. Your thoughts were miles away, circling back to the conversation in the studio and the strange, uncomfortable tightness that had settled in your chest since.

You had been silent for too long. Normally, the quiet between you and Chan was comforting, but tonight it felt suffocating. He had been distracted, the way his fingers twitched against your shoulder, but you could feel his concern. You could tell he was debating whether or not to ask you once more what was up. He knew something was off with you, even if he hadn’t yet figured it out.

But you couldn’t keep it in any longer. Your unshed tears burning your eyes like acid.

“Do you think I’m doing enough to show you that I love you?”

The question came out before you could stop yourself, your voice soft but weighed down by the emotions you’d been pushing down all night.

You felt Chan stiffen beside you, his arm freezing mid-motion as the weight of your words sank in. Slowly, he turned his head to look at you, brows furrowing as confusion flickered across his face.

“What?” His voice was quiet his thick accent laced with surprise, as if the thought had never even crossed his mind.

You bit your lip, heart racing, unsure if you should continue. But the knot in your chest was too tight now, too heavy to ignore.

“It’s just… earlier, in the studio, you said you don’t feel like you deserve love,” you began, your voice barely above a whisper. “And I started thinking… what if I’m not showing you enough? What if I’m not loving you the way you need me to?” You swallowed.

Chan blinked, his mouth opening slightly as if to say something, but no words came out at first. He stared at you for a long moment, his eyes wide with shock and something else- something softer, more worried. His arm tightened around you instinctively, pulling you closer, as though trying to shield you from your own thoughts.

“Where is this coming from?” he finally asked, his voice gentle but filled with concern. “Why would you even think that?”

You lowered your gaze, unable to meet his eyes. “Because you feel like you’re not enough,” you admitted quietly. “And if someone like you-who works so hard, who gives so much- feels that way, then maybe I’m not doing enough to help you see how much you mean to me. Maybe that’s why you feel like you don’t deserve love.”

For a moment, the room was silent except for the soft hum of the TV in the background. Chan’s expression shifted from confusion to realization, the weight of your words settling over him like a heavy blanket. He shifted his body to face you fully now, one hand reaching out to gently cup your cheek, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“That’s not-” He stopped himself, his brows knitting together as if he was searching for the right words, his thumb brushing over your cheek in a soothing motion. “That’s not why I feel that way. It’s not because of you. Please don’t ever think that.”

You swallowed, your chest tightening even more. “But Chan, if you’re still doubting yourself, if you still feel like you’re not enough, then how can I not wonder if it’s something I’m not doing? If it’s something I’m not saying?” You pressed your palm to your eye as to not let the tears fall.

His thumb stilled against your skin, and for a moment, Chan just stared at you, a deep frown pulling at his lips. He looked pained, like the idea of you doubting your love for him was something he couldn’t quite comprehend nor deal with.“ No, no…” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “It’s not like that. Not at all baby. Not at all.”

“Then why?” you asked, your voice trembling with the weight of the question. “Why do you feel like you don’t deserve love? I love you...”

Chan exhaled deeply, his hand slipping from your cheek to rest in his lap, his eyes dropping as he wrestled with his thoughts. For the first time since the conversation began, he looked vulnerable- completely stripped of the confident persona he so often carried around you. “I don’t know,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “I’ve felt like this for a long time. Even before you.”

He paused, glancing up at you briefly before looking away again, as if it hurt him to admit this. “Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I work, no matter how much I give, it’s never enough. I think it’s more about me being stuck in my own head. It’s not about you. You’ve been more than enough for me. You've eased a lot of my insecurities love. I promise. I swear.”

“But how can you say that when you still feel like this?” you asked, your voice rising with frustration. You hadn’t meant to sound upset, but the insecurity you had been burying for hours was clawing its way to the surface, pushing you to confront the painful thoughts you hadn’t wanted to voice. “How can I believe that when you still doubt your worth?” Your lips were trembling.

Chan’s eyes widened slightly at the intensity of your words, but he didn’t flinch away. Instead, he sat up straighter, leaning closer to you, his expression softening in a way that made your heart ache.

“You’ve always shown me love,” he said quietly, his eyes locking with yours. “More than I ever thought I’d deserve.”

His words made your chest tighten in an entirely different way now, a mixture of relief and lingering doubt swirling in your heart.

“But I don’t know if I’m doing enough,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know if I’m showing you the love you need. Why can't I fix your doubts...” You looked at him sadly. "Why can't my love fix that?"

Chan’s gaze softened further, and he reached for your hand, his fingers lacing with yours. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You show me love every day, in more ways than you realize. The little things, like how you’re always there for me, how you listen when I’m having a hard time, how you never let me feel like I’m alone.”

You blinked, feeling the sting of tears behind your eyes as his words washed over you.

Chan squeezed your hand gently, his eyes filled with sincerity. “You don’t have to fix everything for me,” he said softly. “Just being here with me, just caring- that’s enough. More than enough.”

You looked down at your joined hands, the warmth of his touch grounding you in a way that made it hard to hold onto the doubt. “But what if it’s not?” you asked, your voice trembling. “What if you still feel like this tomorrow? Or the next day? What if I can never make it better?”

Chan’s expression softened even more, and he reached up with his free hand to gently lift your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “I don’t expect you to make everything better,” he said quietly. “You’re not responsible for fixing me, and I don’t want you to think that. I’m working on it, I promise. And one day I won't think about those things anymore. But you-” He paused, his thumb brushing over your cheek once more. “You’re more than enough. You’ve always been.”

His words hung in the air between you, and for the first time that night, the knot in your chest began to loosen, the weight of your insecurities lifting slightly. You could still feel them there, lingering at the edges of your thoughts, but Chan’s presence- his warmth, his reassurance -made them feel more manageable. Less suffocating.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “I didn’t mean to doubt you…or myself.”

Chan pulled you into his arms then, wrapping you up in his warmth, his chin resting gently on top of your head. “You don’t need to apologize,” he murmured against your hair. “I’m sorry that I made you feel like that, baby. I never want you to think you’re not enough for me. You’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.”

You closed your eyes, letting the comfort of his embrace wash over you. His heartbeat was steady against your ear, grounding you in the moment, reminding you that you were here, together. That you didn’t have to carry the weight of your insecurities alone.

The doubts might still be there, but with Chan by your side, they didn’t seem so overwhelming anymore.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.

Chan pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment. “I love you,” he whispered back, his voice filled with quiet sincerity.

And for the first time that night, those doubts were finally quiet.

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@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

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@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

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@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg

@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon

@night-storm7 @missmajdastark

[yuta-nakamots]

Dive Into You - L.Haechan (Teaser)

Pairing - Boyfriend!Haechan x University!AFAB Reader

Genre(s) - Fluff, University!AU (Smut to be included in the full fic)

Warning(s) - none for this teaser but there will be lots for the smut in the full fic lol

Summary - After a whirlwind semester, Haechan sweeps you away on a surprise getaway after finals are over. Between salty kisses and soft-spoken promises, you both begin to realize that Fridays mark more than just the end of the week, they mark the beginning of something new. 

Teaser Word Count - 1.1k

Author’s Note - Happy early birthday to Haechan! 

Taglist - @k-vanity @cosyhomenet @neocity-net @k-films @dinonuguaegi @tinyzen @fancypeacepersona (leave a comment or send an ask to join the taglist!)

Written for the Resonance Beach Collab originally hosted by @loeycity. Part of the K-Films Summer Event 2025 hosted by @k-films. Also part of my NCT Dream: Seven Days Collection. 

Now playing: Dive Into You - NCT Dream, Bahama - aespa

You first met Haechan in a music theory class halfway through the semester. You were taking it for your degree, as was he, though he hadn’t managed to show up to a class thus far because of his busy idol career. On his day off, he finally attended class for the first time, slipping into the back row of the lecture hall ten minutes late, wearing sunglasses indoors and a hoodie too big for the late-spring weather. Yet no one batted an eye. That’s the thing about university, you could be a celebrity or a sleep-deprived caffeine gremlin and still get away with everything as long as you looked miserable enough. 

He sat beside you, even though the rest of the row was empty. “Your notes looked better than mine,” he remarked. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you even enrolled in this class?”

He grinned, teeth flashing beneath the shadow of his hood. “Technically.”

“Technically,” you repeated, unimpressed, as you angled your notebook away from him. 

“Come on,” he whined, nudging your elbow with his. “The midterm is next week, I haven’t studied, and my manager thinks I’m watching video lectures at home right now. Help a guy out?”

You sighed, already sliding your notes a little closer. “If I get caught helping you cheat, you better buy me lunch.”

“Deal,” he agreed, a little too quickly. “And maybe a song.” 

“A song?” You questioned.

“You’ll see.”

Your friendship with Haechan started just like that. A few shared notes, a couple late-night study sessions in the campus café when he had time off in his schedule. He hummed next to you while you worked on your laptop, occasionally changing songs halfway through the phrase just to annoy you. You quickly learned that when he wasn’t on stage, he was a menace with too many inside jokes, an alarming stash of memes, and a knack for making your cheeks hurt from laughing. 

The first time you let him into your apartment, he tripped over cables hooked up to music equipment. He made it up to you by immediately assisting in layering harmonies onto the half-finished chorus of a demo track you made. “This would sound so good with a weird falsetto ghost vocal,” he commented, already recording himself singing off your cheap microphone like it was a stadium stage. 

Somehow, you didn’t mind because somehow, his chaos just fit with yours. You made music together, half as a joke, half because it felt right. You teased him about his idol life, and he teased you about your messy desktop and how seriously you took your plugins. He never stopped talking, but you never wanted him to. Somewhere between 3AM laughter, breathless studio nights, and his fingers brushing yours over a keyboard, you stopped writing love songs about people who didn’t exist. 

One night, when your midterm projects were due and sleep felt like a forgotten luxury, he popped by your apartment with fast food and insisted on ‘helping’ you mix your final track. The ‘help’ amounted to him curling up on a chair next to you with a can of soda and randomly hitting keys on your MIDI keyboard while proclaiming it to be ‘art’. 

You swatted his hand away from your laptop for what had to be the tenth time. “You’re going to make me fail.” 

“I’m inspiring you,” he countered, leaning over your shoulder to peer at your project window. “See, this part? Needs more chaos.” 

“You are chaos.”

He laughed, dropping his chin to your shoulder. “I’m glad you finally noticed.”

You turned to look at him, a comeback ready, but the look on his face made the words freeze in your throat. You didn’t realize until that moment just how badly you wanted to kiss him, his lips looking so full and soft mere inches from you. Your breath caugh,t and Haechan heard, but didn’t move away. 

“If you keep looking at me like that,” he said quietly, the usual teasing in his voice softened by something more sincere, “I’m going to think you like me.”

Your eyes flickered to his. “What if I do?”

The words hung there, suspended in the space between your breath and his. You weren’t sure who leaned in first, but suddenly the distance didn’t exist. His lips met yours in a kiss that tasted like soda and secrets you didn’t want to keep anymore. It was gentle, slow, and careful, like neither of you wanted to break whatever this was turning into. 

When Haechan pulled away, his eyes searched yours. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, his usual bravado stripped away. 

You swallowed, heart thudding in your chest, and your brain fighting with every reason why this shouldn’t have happened. “Haechan,” you started hesitantly. “You’re…you. And I’m just me. This isn’t right.”

He tilted his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “Do you think I don’t know that?” You blinked. “I’ve thought about this, all the reasons it could go wrong. But then I think about how you save lecture notes for me, how you roll your eyes at me, but still tolerate me when I make a bad joke. I think about how I’ve never heard music the same since I first met you.” You looked down at your hands, the weight of reality pressing against the lightness you felt just seconds ago. “Hey.” He reached for your hand. “I can’t promise it’ll be perfect, but I can promise I’ll show up. For you, for this, for us.” 

Your eyes meet his again. There was no cockiness there, just quiet determination and something you realized had been growing behind all his jokes and late-night harmonies. It was real, terrifying, beautiful affection. You nodded slowly, lips drawing up into a small smile. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He echoed, eyes widening. 

“But if I end up in a dating scandal, you better write me a hit breakup song.”

He laughed, his fingers lacing through yours. “Deal. But I’m aiming for a love song first.” And somehow, it felt like the beginning of one. 

Your relationship didn’t erupt like the drop of a chorus, it eased in like a warm synth line, subtle but impossible to ignore. Somewhere in the haze of long nights and low battery percentages, between split headphones and shared playlists, Haechan became the rhythm you moved to without even realizing it.

[hiromusicarts-blog]

ホームスタジオにKORG D1を導入 メインキーボード（８８key)ピアノタッチ鍵盤を新調しました。 前の電子ピアノは、Roland のFPだった（中古）のだけれど、色々と不具合が出てきたので、買い換えようとあれこれ探していました。 候補には、ALESISのrecital proとかYAMAHAのP-225とかもあったけれど、KORGのD1になりました。 決め手は、MIDI in out の標準装備。 私は、PCではなく、MIDIでハード音源や、MIDIデータマネージャーに繋げているので、MIDI端子が必須項目だったのです。 問題なく、接続完了し、ハード音源の音を鳴らしています。タッチ感は、やや「ベタ」な感じだけど、本格的な演奏を目的とはしていないため、そこは目を瞑るところ。 実際の演奏入力も、ほぼ問題ないようで、割とストレスフリーになったと思う。 同時期にショルキーにも問題発覚。KX5の電池ソケットが割れていて、使えなくなっていたので、一応修理をして、稼働しているのですが、ライブで「保つ」のか心配で、同等品の色違い（中古）を仕入れ、動作確認をしているところです。

Introducing the KORG D1 to my home studio I bought a new main keyboard (88 keys) with piano touch keys. My previous digital piano was a Roland FP (second-hand), but it started to have various problems, so I was looking for a new one. My options were the Alesis recital pro and the Yamaha P-225, but I ended up with the KORG D1. The deciding factor was that it comes standard with MIDI in/out. I connect to hardware sound sources and MIDI data managers via MIDI, not a PC, so a MIDI terminal was a must. I connected without any problems and am now playing sounds from a hardware sound source. The touch is a bit "sticky," but since I'm not aiming for serious performance, I can overlook that. There seem to be almost no problems with actual performance input, so I think it's become relatively stress-free. At the same time, problems were discovered with the shoulder keyboard. The battery socket of my KX5 was cracked and it could no longer be used, so I repaired it and it is now working, but I am worried about whether it will last during live performances, so I purchased an equivalent item in a different color (second-hand) and am currently checking that it works.

[treacheryinblue]

A Noah Sebastian x F!Reader One Shot

Word Count: 2.3k

× Summary: Noah does what he can to help relieve some of the overwhelming stress you're forced to endure. It's just smut.

× Warnings!: SMUT (oral [f receiving]) aka Noah obviously being the munch we know he is. language, 18+ , no proofread, no revisions, written in about an hour so it is what it is. •‿•

Masterlist

Study, study, study. 

Work, work, work. 

That's all you did nowadays. 

The routine of it all had become monotonous to say the least, though it's what had to be done if you were ever going to finish your degree. Your third attempt at said degree. School just wasn't for you and you had figured that out as soon as you walked across the stage at your high school graduation however many years ago. While most felt excitement with continuing their education, you felt nothing. You hated it; the deadlines, the papers, the asshole teachers who always acted as if they were leaps and bounds better than everyone they encountered. What you hated about it most of all, though, was the lack of freedom. 

Only one thing - one person - was keeping you going despite the headaches and breakdowns where you’d yell that you were “over it” and it was “all so useless anyway”, and that person was Noah. Maybe it sounded cliche, but he truly was your rock through it all. Even with the loads of stuff he had going on, he still always found time for you, especially when he could tell that you were on the verge of one of those previously mentioned breakdowns. This just so happened to be one of those nights. 

You were sitting on the couch of his home studio, anxiety-riddled fingers tapping away at your keyboard, trying your best to finish a paper that was due the following night. Of course you shouldn't have waited until the very last minute, but procrastination was what you did best. Noah would beg to differ, but you didn't have the mental capacity to get sucked into those sorts of thoughts right then. 

Every now and then Noah would swivel in his chair to look at you, ask how things were going, and then turn back to his music once you replied. The answers were never what he wanted to hear, but he understood. He didn't want to be another source of aggravation for you, so he never pushed. Little did he know, just having him around you was enough to calm your nerves. That, plus the melodic vocals he would softly sing every now and then truly could work wonders. 

“I think it's time for a break,” he exhaled while rolling his chair to the side to set his guitar down. “I can almost see the steam coming off your head.” 

“In a minute,” you murmured under your breath. Your brows were furrowed, keys of your laptop still rhythmically tapping until you groaned and slammed down on the backspace to erase the paragraph. 

“Oh no, now.” Noah stood from the chair with a chuckle and made his way to you, his body dropping down on the couch at your side. His hand immediately went to your bare thigh, fingers slowly caressing along your skin and working their way towards the innermost area. 

“Noah, come on. I have to finish this,” you sighed, attempting to move a bit to shake his hand away. 

“You also need to take a breather, let out some frustrations. Maybe then you can come back to it with a clear head.” 

You were ignoring his words to the best of your ability, as well as his wandering hands. 

“That's what I do when I get stuck with a song.” 

And didn't you know it. On many occasions Noah had tracked you down within the house when he should've been working, just to let out some frustrations between your legs. It didn't matter what you were in the middle of doing when he found you because he would bend you over any surface and fuck you until the creative juices were flowing again. He claimed it did the trick every time, but you weren't convinced. This is even what led to him teasingly calling you his ‘muse’ when the moments would arise. 

A heavy sigh sounded as his hands began to tug at your shorts, though you only leaned off to the side and propped yourself against the arm of the couch. You wanted space between the two of you, but not so much that it meant one of you going to another room. No, you still wanted to be close. 

“Noah…” you huffed, your foot gently nudging at him when he went for your shorts again. This time he succeeded in drawing the fabric down your legs and tossing them aside. Despite this, your eyes remained focused on the laptop screen. 

He glanced at you as his strong hands pried your knees apart and fully spread you open for him. “Continue to work if you want to,” he shrugged. 

You didn't want to admit that you had become aroused during this miniature cat and mouse game the two of you were playing, though you were sure he noticed the small wet spot beginning to form on your panties. Sometimes it was so frustrating how easily he could get you going, even when you were mad at the world and just wanted to throw something. 

Noah released one of your legs so he could run his fingers along your pussy over your panties, again and again, making lingering contact with where he knew your clit was each time. Your face remained expressionless, eyes still set on the glowing screen, but your body was definitely reacting to him. You knew you were becoming wetter by the way your panties clung to your folds and Noah continued his strokes with more vigor.  

“Is this really the time?” 

There was no response because his mouth was soon occupied with digging the tip of his tongue into your clit, the added scratch of your panties causing your toes to curl and your hips to jolt slightly. Noah smirked to himself at your reaction because he knew he would be able to get to you eventually. There was no way you'd be able to resist and you both were well aware of this. 

Tattooed fingers soon tugged your panties aside, a faint hum of delight coming from him at the sight of your wet cunt so open and vulnerable. Just his for the taking. 

“Fuck,” he murmured while lowering himself back down between your thighs. His lips secured around your clit for a gentle suck before his tongue began taking long licks across the swollen nerves. 

Your fingers stalled on the keyboard, your head falling back as a moan was pulled from your chest. How were you supposed to get your work done when Noah was so intent on using his own methods of calming you? 

“You taste so goddamn good.” 

Noah moaned into your cunt, eyes closed, the entirety of his mouth devouring you like a starved man. His motions were slow but precise, fully knowing what he was doing. He was basically a professional when it came to your body. 

Okay fine, he could win this time. 

You quickly saved the document you were working on and then closed the laptop, the device now set on the floor by the couch. Even though Noah didn't dare stop, you could tell he was excited about getting what he wanted. 

With your hands now free, you reached down to slip your fingers through his hair, eventually latching onto the dark locks. Noah dragged his tongue down to your entrance, slowly swirling around the drenched hole, only to then make his way back to your clit. He knew that if he lingered at your clit for too long then you'd be cumming in less than two minutes, and that wasn't the sort of experience he wanted you to have tonight. 

“Mmmph!” A moan transferred to a slight squeak as his teeth gently nipped at your clit, your hips bucking up towards his mouth. He chuckled to himself at your reaction, which only earned him a firm tug to his hair. 

Noah glanced up to you, playfully glaring. He shook his head as he sat up just enough to shift your legs together, your panties quickly slipped down and tossed aside to be forgotten like your shorts. You were then being spread open again and no time was wasted before he was back to business. 

“Oh! Oh my god, just like that!” 

A couple of long fingers plunged into your cunt, slowly easing in and out and pressing up to your g-spot in a way that had you panting and your body trembling. The sensations were maddening, especially as Noah’s tongue swirled around your clit, alternating between this and firmly suctioning his lips around it. 

“Mmm, don't stop. Yes!” 

His fingers drove deep into your pussy and then paused once fully buried. You made a slight sound of protest, prompting him to begin making that goddamned ‘come hither’ bending motion that made your breath hitch and your lower back arch. 

“You like that, baby?” He taunted, long swipes of his tongue again being taken in an agonizingly slow pace. Each motion caused your pussy to clamp around his fingers, the sound of how wet you were easily deciphered behind your moans and heavy breaths. 

“Y-Yes…” you stammered, nodding. “It feels so fucking amazing.” 

Noah's proud smirk was so prominent that you swore you could feel it against your pussy. Honestly, it was impossible to miss. He always loved knowing how good he could make you feel with just his hands and mouth, and sometimes only his words too. 

Your body felt like it was overheating, although in a good way. To ease some of the fire, you grabbed onto the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your chest. Your abdomen was tense from contracting, pert breasts on full display for him. It only took a moment for you to begin rubbing and kneading over your tits, squeezing them together and sinking your fingers in deep. Noah glanced up to you, his mouth stilling completely though his fingers continued their thrusts. 

“You're so needy,” he grinned as his lips began to move along your inner thigh. He suckled and bit at the tender skin, making sure it was hard enough to leave little marks behind, ones that only he would be able to see and know who you belonged to. 

“All you needed was for me to make you feel good, baby,” he breathed along your heated flesh. “Fuck the frustrations right out of you.” 

The addition of his low voice, along with you now pinching and rolling your nipples, had you right where he wanted you. Noah gave no warning before forcing a third finger into your already tight and stretched cunt, the intensity making you drop your hands to the couch so you could grip onto the cushions for dear life. 

“Noah!! Fuck!” 

The pressure of your orgasm was swelling until your body couldn't contain it any longer. You were in a frenzy as your hips grinded down against his fingers in time with his thrusts, nails scratching along the leather couch, head tossed back so your passionate cries could freely ring. That’s when Noah’s skilled mouth attacked your pussy again, his tongue hungrily lapping at your clit and your arousal that had spilled past his fingers. He groaned against you, and you even noticed his own hips rutting into the couch, his whole body being put into eating you out. 

“Don't stop…right there…” you gasped and moaned between each statement, the climax coming on fast and strong. “Yes…oh my god…I'm going to cum…”

Noah rammed his fingers hard into your core and made sure to stroke along your g-spot with every retreat, only to repeat the motions until you were nothing but a whimpering mess beneath him. It was that pace that finally sent you careening over the edge. Your hands grabbed the back of his head so your nails could scratch the base of his neck and along his scalp, all while your hips unapologetically pressed as close to his mouth as possible. This left him no choice but to continue circling your clit and pulling it between his lips, suckling as if your life depended on this orgasm alone. 

Your cunt surged around his fingers in a flood that rushed with such force that you could see his chin glistening, as well as the couch that now pooled with your cum. 

Satisfied with his work, Noah began to slow down his pace only when your hips did first. His goal was for you to ride out the orgasm as long as possible, and the way your body still twitched and your pussy clenched let him know all he needed to. 

As your body stilled, he slowly retrieved his fingers and watched in awe as more of your arousal dripped from your spent cunt. Typically he liked to watch as his own cum spilled from you, but right now wasn't about him. 

Noah slowly kissed along your thighs, across your abdomen, and up to your lips which he eagerly claimed with his own. You were still in haze, floating in your own little world thanks to the great orgasm, but even that couldn't stop you from moving your lips in perfect sync with his. As your arms slinked around the back of his neck, his hands dragged up your sides until he was grasping firm to your waist to pull you close. 

“Feeling better?” 

You softly laughed, a content sigh following as if to show him just how relaxed you were now. 

“Yes…and now I really do need to finish my paper but all I want to do is that again and again…and maybe again for good measure.” 

Brushing a hand along the side of your face to push your hair back, Noah grinned, his head slowly nodding in agreement to your words. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't let himself be that bad of an influence over you. 

“Finish your paper and then we can see about that. Think of it as motivation.”  

[sweetiesicheng]

woozi - lesson

word count : 633

happy birthday to the legend himself, woozi ~ wooahae ~

-

"ah...that's not right."

woozi gently adjusts your fingers that settle against the keys of his keyboard. both of you sit side by side in his studio.

"remember, we're playing major chords, so they sound happy. going down a half step makes the chord sound like it's in a scary movie," he says to you, moving your fingers to show you the keys. you nod as you listen to him. "okay, try."

you play the chord. then, you look over at woozi who nods his head.

"try the next one," he says to you, nodding his head to the piece of paper on the stand. you look at the drawn chords that woozi has written for a song and move your fingers. you play the next chord but don't feel confident, so you wait for him to say something. "good. you got it.”

"what does all of this stuff mean?" you ask, pointing to symbols on the paper.

"ignore all of that for now. it's for the song," woozi says to you. "okay, play this one," he instructs, pointing at a different chord, "and ignore the symbol next to it."

"oh, okay," you reply and look down at the keys. you move some of your fingers and look back up to make sure they're the right ones. you look down again and play the notes individually before playing them together. "was that right?"

"yup. good job, baby," woozi compliments you. "wanna take a break for a second?" he asks.

you nod, "yea. my hand is tired."

he chuckles, "you're not used to playing. i used to practice for hours when i had lessons," he says to you and places his hands on the keyboard. he starts playing a song; one that you recognize as a song he has been working on for awhile.

"it's pretty," you comment once he's done playing.

"it is, isn't it?" he replies. "wanna keep playing?" he asks you.

you point to the symbols on the sheet music, "can you tell me what all of this stuff means?" you ask him.

"basically, they make you play notes differently based on what key the song is in. so for example, if the key is in g major, then you'll have a f sharp in the scale instead of a natural one," woozi explains. "this song has a lot of sharps, so there's more changes," he adds.

"what about this?" you ask, pointing to a symbol next to one of the chords you had played earlier.

"that's a natural symbol, you would play the note normally. so for example, you would play a natural c instead of c sharp," he answers for you. "did all of that make sense?" he asks.

you nod, "mhm."

"let's play this one," woozi says, pointing to a random chord on the page. you put your fingers on top of the keys and play a chord, but it doesn't sound right to you. "move your middle finger up a half step," woozi instructs you. you do so and play the chord again. this time, it sounds correct. "good."

you keep playing different chords and woozi teaches you some more stuff. you ask questions about certain things, and woozi explains everything to you very well. after awhile, it's time for both of you to head home for the day.

"thank you for teaching me," you say to woozi as he locks the door to his studio.

"of course, baby," he replies to you. "you got the hang of it. it just takes practice," he adds.

he grabs your hand and you two start walking down the hall.

"maybe i can make a song for you," you wonder, thinking about all of the songs he has created just for you.

he smiles, "i'll be looking forward to it.”

[pininghermit]

On Your Toes

Request: Hi (* ´ ▽ ` *) I hope you are still accepting spin the wheel requests. I got , fan and idol as a prompt. If you aren't too busy at the moment, can you please write a story for Adrian Tepes x Idol!reader? Like he pretends to dislike her music but finds her voice soothing, secretly admires her and... loves her. 🫣🙃

AN: Thanks for requesting! This is slightly different from you request but I seriously had to write it to escape my writer's block (partially due to Love and Deep Space wrecking my life) Also ik Ballerino is Italian but can we roll with this please because danseurs sounds mad pretentious.

Genre: Idol/Ballet au

Pairing(s): Alucard x GN Reader

Summary: You were the rat when Adrian became Hans-Peter in The Nutcracker. The infamous mirror on the wall when he played Prince Charming. Yorick to his brooding Hamlet. The clapping monkey to his moping Phantom of the Opera.

"I'm sure 14-year-olds love your so called 'art'," Adrian says, rolling his eyes with a huff as he leans back against the windowsill. "Is it worth leaving years of hard work?"

Crouching in front of him, you rest his feet on your thigh and begin unlacing the bloodied pointe shoe, which clings stubbornly to the oozing callouses on his skin.

"You forgot your ointment again?" You sigh, already reaching for the travel-sized tube you always carry. That habit has never left you, from the past to now.

With gentle hands, you apply the cool gel to his raw soles. Above you, Adrian sucks in a sharp breath, his toes curling at the sudden sting of relief.

"I missed you." You stand up after wrapping his feet in bandages and pulling on mismatched warm socks, socks he never had a complete pair of. "And I worry too. Now that I’m here, I know I have a good reason to fret." Your gaze lingers on his sunken cheeks.

"I do not require your pity!" Adrian huffs, turning his back to you. "Go back to your glamorous life. Aren't you above ballet now? Too good for it?" His words cut deep into your heart.

It has been three years. Three long years since he refused to answer your calls, moved out of the home you once shared, leaving behind nothing but a lonely ring.

He, who is in the lyrics of your every song, the muse for your art, he has left you. Or perhaps, you pushed him away.

Eighteen years ago, at the age of seven, you first met him. In that ballet class, when you both let go of your weary parents’ hands and walked into a room where you became the best of friends.

It was no less than a wedding pyre, where your blood, sweat, and endless hours bound you both into something more.

Adrian loved ballet. His feet never faltered, his arms refused to tremble, even in the swiftest lifts. He was most beautiful in his dance.

You, on the other hand, could never find solid ground beneath your feet while lost in staring at him.

To some extent, you enjoyed the sway of music that came in waves. You relished the closeness it offered, the bond it allowed between you and your friend.

Music, you loved. Just as Adrian loved ballet. Music taught you how to love.

From the scrawled notes on your notebook covers to your cheap GarageBand subscription, you loved losing yourself to the sounds of the world around you.

But all that had to wait, tucked away in the tiny pockets of your time, the ones spared beyond ballet.

You loved music, but you loved him more.

For years, you did.

You were the rat when Adrian became Hans-Peter in The Nutcracker. The infamous mirror on the wall when he played Prince Charming. Yorick to his brooding Hamlet. The clapping monkey to his moping Phantom of the Opera.

You grasped at pieces, but all that remained were shadows. Ballet was never your calling.

It was the old SoundCloud rap that thrust you into the shoes that were made for you.

From a small re-release, to album deals, to company contracts, your world pulled you closer.

And no matter how hard you tried to cling to the ballet studio, your heart reached for the keys of your keyboard.

Productions rarely ever kept you, and with a distracted mind, roles slipped through your fingers.

Weeks later, Adrian found himself alone on the stage. Broken from the reverie of his practice, he searched for you. Backstage. The costume room. The tech booth.

You were gone.

And then he saw the script.

Your name wasn’t there.

You had left him. Alone. Lost in his dance.

And he hadn’t even noticed.

Was he to blame? Had he kept you from your passion?

Wrath. Hurt. Guilt. Heartbreak. They flooded him all at once.

That day, for the first time, his feet ached. Not from exhaustion, not from relentless training, but from something deeper. Never before had he cared about pain over his dance. Yet, in that moment, it hurt more than anything.

So he left. Just as you had. Without a word, he walked away—from your home, your ring, everything.

He abandoned you.

He refused to love this version of you. He refused to be the one left behind. So he left first.

This was your penance, and his.

Never again did his feet tire. Never again did his smile falter. He poured himself into his craft, drowning in movement, in rhythm, in perfection.

But who could resist a siren’s call?

Even as he spun through daring choreography, even as he lost himself in dance, his ears could not escape your music.

That brash, loud, jarring music, the very thing that had torn you apart.

Songs that were all about him. Words that glided with melody like his body through motion.

He knew how much it meant to you.

Music, to you, was what ballet had become to him.

And much to his dismay, he understood that far too well.

After all these years, after countless lovers taken just to spite you, he had not expected this.

For the idol so many cherished to kneel beside him as you once did. For you to be so gentle, so familiar in your every action.

For you to still carry the ointment, the one none of the dancers could afford. You had bought it for him back then, and you hadn’t stopped now.

He had not expected you to ignore all the hurt and continue loving him.

It was unfair. Unbearably cruel. To be so good to him.

His heart protested, curling in on itself at the sight.

He let you slip warm socks over his feet, trying his damnedest to hold back the tears.

But you were his friend. His adorable rat. His beloved.

How could he have wronged you? When he knew the answer too well.

The thing about love is that it cannot be held back. It cannot be unfelt.

Like a stubborn stream of water, it finds a way, seeping through the cracks of even the hardest heart.

And after all these years, it had never ceased to exist.

[joelssimp]

STILL | CHAPTER 18

CW: alternating pov, food and drink consumption, smut (MDIN) use of spanish the way is supposed to be used, fingering, little overstimulation blinkandyoullmissit, unprotected p-in-v, creampie birthcontroldoyourmagic. Soft Pedro, and fluff.

6.1K words

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18 - Sweet Spanish

I didn’t want to leave his apartment.

Not because it was some five-star place—it wasn’t. It was just warm, familiar, smelled like his shampoo and the cinnamon/apple tea he kept buying for me even though I never asked. And it felt safe. Or maybe he felt safe. But the minute Franklin showed up on set with his perfectly timed power play, I knew I had to give Pedro space to deal with whatever storm was brewing on his end.

And now, here I was. Key in the door, gear bag slung across my aching shoulder, box with my new lens tucked like a fragile secret under my arm.

Right back at the flat I share with Kate.

I took a breath before opening the door.

The light in the kitchen was on, soft and yellow. It smelled like microwave popcorn and lavender oil, the kind she uses when she wants the good sleep. Kate was at the counter, hunched over her laptop, hoodie pulled over her head. When I stepped in, she glanced up but didn’t say anything.

I shut the door quietly and crossed to the hallway. My bedroom was only a few steps away, but even the floorboards sounded louder than usual, announcing how awkward our interactions have been lately.

“You haven’t been around much,” Kate said, not looking up.

I stopped, turning halfway to face her. “Yeah. I crashed at Pedro’s for the week, it’s closest to the studio.”

There was a pause… Just long enough to sharpen the silence between us.

“Right. I’m going to…”

I let the word hang for a second before heading into my room. The door clicked shut behind me, and I exhaled through my nose like I’d been holding my breath the entire way back home.

The lens box felt heavier now.

Not physically, but in meaning, and in the way he saw me. The feeling was new, being taken care of was never easy when it comes to me. And maybe it wasn’t even my fault to begin with. It was the way I had to grow up, the way I knew Matt was the older one by minutes, but I was the one taking care of him. 

I placed the box on my desk like it might burn me. Because I knew what Kate saw on set: Pedro giving me something beautiful, expensive and personal. And she didn’t know what it had cost me to accept it. She didn’t know what I had given up—my savings, my plans, the future version of me that dreamed in gallery walls and portfolios—a version that longed for a brother who still hadn’t opened his eyes as himself to the world again.

I sat on the bed, kicked off my shoes.

Through the wall, I could hear Kate’s keyboard. Clicking even faster now.

We hadn’t talked since the morning where she threw a jab with her own words and I hadn’t quite caught it, just threw one right back without thinking. A sharp exchange that felt wrong.

I missed the ease we had in the beginning of all of this. The way she made me laugh when I was homesick, or the nights answering emails and editing pictures over a bottle of wine… That instant bond that felt like it was made of steel and shared ambition of two photographers with dreams big enough to fill up the empty spaces.

But now, it felt like we were orbiting the same place on different planets.

Later, when I went to get a glass of water, she was still there. Same position and that same energy.

“You gonna show it to me?” she asked, not looking up.

I blinked. “Show what?”

“The lens. Pedro’s gift. 15-35mm right? That shit is expansive as hell…”

I leaned against the fridge, the cool of the handle grounding me.

“It’s not… It wasn’t planned. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“I’m sure,” she said, and the sarcasm was so faint I almost missed it. “He must really like you.”

My stomach twisted. “Kate—”

“I mean,” she continued, finally glancing up, “I guess that’s what happens when you sleep in the boss’s bed. You get upgraded gear.”

It landed like a slap.

I stared at her, stunned into silence for a second. Then I straightened. “You don’t know anything about what’s going on.”

“I know enough,” she shot back, eyes hard. “And it’s not just about you anymore, is it? You’ve got Franklin sniffing around set, Bella acting weird, Pedro distracted—”

I cut her off. “My brother relapsed in a fucking hospital.”

That shut her up.

“My savings? The ones I had for the lens? They’re gone. I gave them up so Matt could move into a place where he might actually get better. So yeah, Pedro bought me a lens. But only because I gave up everything I had to help someone who wouldn’t survive without me.”

The silence that followed spoke louder than anything she could ever say. The kind that pressed against your ribs and made it hard to breathe through the fact that she just pointed out that she thought I was sleeping with him to get something in return.

Kate looked away. Embarrassed, and even a little guilty.

“I didn’t know,” she muttered.

“No. You didn’t. Because you didn’t fucking ask.”

I left the glass of water on the counter and went back to my room. Couldn’t look at her anymore, my heart thudding loudly inside my chest, hands sweating like crazy. I hate this, all of it.

Outside my window, the sky was starting to shift—dark blue giving way to the palest edge of morning. The end of night shoots meant daylight again and maybe a new rhythm.

I didn’t change out of my clothes.

Didn’t brush my teeth. Didn’t even bother to pull the curtains shut.

I just let the weight of everything — the lens, Kate’s eyes on me, Matt’s silence on the other end of the country, Franklin showing up — drag me beneath the duvet like I was disappearing into the ocean floor. Cold sheets, one pillow, blackout brain. Sleep took me the way a wave takes driftwood: no fight left in the wood, just surrender.

I don’t know how long I was out. I drifted in and out a few times, heat sticking to my back, breath caught in my throat. The first time I woke up to the sound of some light rain, sun was still out in a golden glow, maybe late afternoon? I drifted. Then again, woke up to a dream I couldn’t quite keep hold of, something heavy but not important enough for my brain to hold on to, it was dark outside, my vision was blurry. I drifted again. And for the last time waking up, it was because of my stomach growling like it had been empty for days.

I didn’t fucking care.

It was the first two full days off work after the night shoots ended, and my body felt like it had given up. Like it didn’t want to be here unless it was behind a camera or in Pedro’s arms. Nothing in between made sense.

I must’ve slept nearly twenty-three hours when the ringtone echoed off my nightstand. It felt like a bolt of electricity in the dark room. I groaned, dragged my hand across the mattress, and blinked blearily at the screen.

Pedro P.

My stomach flipped. Two more rings, and I accepted the call.

"Hi," I croaked. My voice sounded like gravel.

“Hey, baby,” he said softly, his voice still thick with sleep too. “You okay?”

The knot in my chest loosened just from hearing him again.

“I’m… I’m just tired,” I whispered.

“Yeah, Mandy said she texted and didn’t hear back. Your dad called too, I’m just checking in. You ghosted the whole world, cariño.”

I smiled a little looking up to my ceiling. “Didn’t mean to.”

“You’re allowed to,” he said. “I just… I wanted to make sure you weren’t alone in the dark with it all.”

I could feel his warmth through the phone. Like he was right there, in the room with me, his thumb brushing my cheek instead of the screen. That made my chest tight, and I had to close my eyes.

“I didn’t want to talk to anyone.”

“I’m not anyone,” he said, quietly.

I opened my eyes with that. “I know.”

There was silence for a few seconds. He was measuring his words carefully. Caring in a way he knew how to.

“Have you eaten?”

“No.”

“Water?”

I shook my head, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “No.” It came out low.

“Okay. Can you do something for me?”

I hummed in response.

“Go brush your teeth. Wash your face. Drink a full glass of water. And then, if you want, you can go right back to bed. I just need to know you’re not disappearing completely.”

The lump in my throat was too real now.

“I already fucking miss you,” I said, quieter than I meant to.

“I miss you too. So much.” A pause. “I’ll come by tonight, if that’s okay. Or I can pick you up, take you back to my place.”

“No,” I said quickly. “Let me come to you.”

Another pause.

“Okay,” he agreed. “Late afternoon?”

“Yeah. I’ll be better by then.”

“You don’t have to be better,” he murmured. “You just have to show up. I’ll take care of the rest.”

That quiet promise made it all worth it for me. We stayed on the line just a few more seconds before he said goodbye.

My body was heavy, I sat up in bed, dizzy from the sudden movement, like my brain forgot how to function with gravity again. I had to take a moment to just adjust.

But I got up.

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, drank a glass of cold water from the tap.

Kate and her judgement stare were still asleep in her room. I made some breakfast and went back to my room to work on some of yesterday’s pictures.

Franklin waited just long enough to make it feel like a trap.

He didn’t come in hot. Didn’t shout or wave his arms or do the usual agent dramatics. No, he just stood there for a second, hands in the pockets of his tailored pants, looking between me and her like he was watching a car crash in slow motion.

And I saw it. That flicker, the disapproval was like a goddamn reflex.

So I kept my arm around her a little longer.

Let her smile, let her hug me again for the lens, let her go off a minute later with that look in her eyes that made me forget the talk I need to have to set on my own boundaries. And when she disappeared behind the trailers, I turned to him.

“Let’s take a walk,” I said.

We didn’t go far. Just enough to get out of earshot, out of line of crew sight.

He didn’t waste time.

“You know this isn’t a good idea.”

I folded my arms, stared out toward the empty parking lot. “I’m not interested in what’s a ‘good idea’ to you, Frank.”

“You really want to do this right now?”

“Seems like you do.”

He scoffed. “Look, I’m not here to police your personal life, Pedro, but this — this is messy. She works on the same set and she’s way too young—”

“Don’t.” I turned to face him fully. “Don’t give me the script. I’ve heard it. I’m older, she’s on crew, it’s unprofessional, it could look bad… Blah blah fucking blah.”

“You’re not seeing the bigger picture—”

“No, Franklin. You’re the one here not seeing the bigger picture.” My voice came out low, but firm. “Because the only people whose approval I give a damn about when it comes to who I love? My family. My people. And guess what? They’ve met her. They’ve seen us together. And they’re all in.”

He looked like he’d swallowed something sour and I kept going.

“Lux said she hasn’t seen me like this in years. Bruno and Pedro adore her, Bruno is even taking photography classes because of her, and my mom—” My chest tightened, that ache slipping in. “Javi said our mom would’ve loved her.”

Silence.

“You’re thinking about press, headlines, and all the fucking narrative.” I took a step closer to him, not a threat, just a warning. “I’m thinking about the girl who gave up her savings to save her brother’s life when he needed her the most. The same girl who falls asleep with her camera next to the bed because she doesn’t know how to exist without seeing beauty in everyone. That’s who I’m talking about.”

Franklin exhaled slowly. “And what about when it goes south?”

“Then I’ll deal with it like an adult,” I said. “But right now? I’m not giving this up. You got me?”

He studied me for a moment. His eyes were sharp, mouth in a straight line, and then, finally:

“You really are in it.”

I nodded.

“Don’t let this get messy, keep it clean, keep it out of the frame. In the quiet, and if she truly likes you, then she’ll understand.”

I didn’t promise anything. Just turned, already pulling out my phone. Already missing her.

Because I knew she’d be gone to her place this morning, back to face Kate’s cold stares, and back to a place that it’s not my arms.

And I didn’t want the space. So the next morning I called to check on her, after too many worried messages from Mandy. She was deep in a wrong darkness that was slowly trying to catch up to her, so I offered to go to her or to pick her up.

There was a plan: An easy night at my place. Food and good company.

I lit up a candle. Not because I’m fancy — I just knew she liked the smell of apples and a little cinnamon, so I found one on sale that morning when I ran to get fresh bread.

And garlic. She said garlic makes a place feel alive, so I chopped way more than necessary. My fingers reeked and I didn’t care. The pasta was boiling, sauce ready, and Bella was on their way down with a bottle of something red that someone from the crew recommended. I didn’t catch the name — just nodded and told her, “Bring it. We’re drinking like artists tonight.”

I kept checking the clock. She was supposed to come by around six. I told her earlier, “Don’t overthink it. Just come. Let yourself be taken care of for a night.”

And I think she really needed that. I think she needed not to plan. Just walk into a space and be wanted there.

I hear the knocking five minutes early.

She always knocked. Never let herself in, even after all this time.

I opened the door and she was already smiling at me — hoodie sleeves pulled over on one of her hands, hair kinda messy from the wind outside, and a just little color back in her cheeks.

“Hey,” I said, grinning just from looking at her.

“Hi.” Her voice was quiet, eyes scanning behind me. “Smells like… something’s burning?”

“Shit—no. No, that’s just the bread. Hold on.”

She laughed, kicked her shoes off and followed me into the kitchen, where I dramatically fanned smoke out of the oven, and took the garlic bread out, just a little burnt.

“Real chef behavior,” she teased, hopping up on the counter like she lived there.

I couldn’t help it. I stepped between her knees and kissed her, slow. Mouths parting just enough so I could slip my tongue inside hers for a little moment, tasting her sweet mouth on mine one more time, like we got all the time in the world.

“Hi,” I said again against her lips.

She whispered it back.

When Bella showed up ten minutes later, they found us dancing like idiots to whatever old reggaetón playlist I had playing.

“Oh my god,” Bella groaned, walking into the apartment with a wine bottle in their hand. “Am I third-wheeling this domestic fantasy again?”

“You were invited,” I called over the music. “Which makes you our responsibility now. It’s like you’re our child.”

“You love me,” They replied, deadpan, already heading toward the kitchen like they lived there too.

Both of them got along like really good friends. It wasn’t slow, seemed like something about them just clicked.

Dinner was good. I mean, the pasta was probably overcooked, but she made all the right noises. Bella rolled her eyes but went in for seconds. The three of us crowded around my tiny table with legs that still squeaked, lit by that one flickering candle I forgot to trim.

“Do you remember the sound of the guy who dropped the boom mic on day two?” Bella asked, mouth full of garlic bread.

“Oh my god,” she groaned. “Like a dying goat and a drunk chicken had a baby.”

I laughed so hard I almost snorted wine.

And that’s when she said it.

She leaned her cheek into her hand, looked across the table at Bella — squinting at her with pretend judgment — and said, “Mira esta… little puta.”

Bella choked on her wine.

I blinked.

She just grinned. Proud, the pronunciation was just too right, I could tell she’s been practicing.

“You did not just call them that,” I said, pretending to be scandalized by it, but the truth was: I was amazed.

“Lux has been teaching me a little,” she shrugged “and that was the first thing I remembered.”

Bella looked between us, delighted. “What does that fucking mean?”

“Okay, well—” I started, shaking my head. “Great. Now my girlfriend is fluent in spanish insults.”

She leaned forward, eyes dancing. “Not just insults. I’m getting better at all of it. Soon I’ll be able to tell you off and seduce you in Spanish.”

Bella held up their wine glass like she was toasting a national holiday. “To whatever the fuck that was.”

I tapped my glass against both of theirs. “To the most dangerous trio of little putas in Alberta.”

That brought a real laugh. And she laughed so hard, she nearly fell off her chair.

The rest of the night passed us by in a simple warmth I hadn’t felt in a while — The low hum of leftover music, the warmth of food, good and funny company, and safety. No talk of agents, or money, or jealous best friends, or even brothers in hospitals. Just full bellies and flushed cheeks and maybe too many half-finished wine glasses scattered on the counter.

I locked the door after Bella left, turned the music down low, and came back to find her in my kitchen, rinsing the wine glasses from our dinner. Her sleeves were rolled up, shoulders a little more relaxed than from when she came in, and there was something about the way she moved — like she could finally exhale.

I leaned on the doorframe, watching her with that soft buzz in my chest that only she could bring out in me.

“You always clean up after seducing your man with your Spanish?” I teased, and she didn’t turn around, but I could feel her smile.

“I’ve been taking lessons from Lux now and then. Her Spanish is way better than anyone I’ve seen”

“And she taught you that little puta is like a love language?”

She laughed, glancing back at me over her shoulder. “I used it correctly, didn’t I?”

I walked up behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist, and pressed my mouth to the shell of her ear. “Very correctly,” I murmured. “And dangerously cute.”

“Dangerously?” she breathed.

I nodded, kissing down the line of her neck, slow and warm. “Eres tan hermosa que me olvido cómo hablar inglés.”

She froze, and I could feel her smile. “That sounded... intimate.”

I turned her around, her back against the counter now, her hands still wet from the sink. “It means,” I said softly, brushing some of her hair back around her left ear, “you’re so beautiful, I forget how to speak English.”

Her eyes searched mine, with that little spark again.

“Oh,” she whispered.

I dipped down and kissed her — soft, just for a second — then leaned back and whispered against her lips, “Ven a la cama conmigo.”

Her brows arched, impressed. “I understood that one.”

“Yeah?” I asked, brushing my knuckles along her jaw.

“You just asked me to go to bed with you, right?”

I grinned. “Correct again.”

She pulled away, slow, biting her lip, got off my grip and walked backward toward the bedroom. “Well then,” she said, lifting a brow, “you better show me what else you know how to say.”

I followed her like I was bewitched.

She pulled her hoodie off, and left it on the chair. My shirt followed. We were slowly stripping down our own clothes until we were in my bedroom and then the lights were low, the sheets cool, her skin warm under my hands. Her laughter melted into soft gasps as I kissed down her stomach, letting Spanish fall out of me like I’d never forgotten how to speak it.

“Quiero saborearte,” I whispered, and she shivered. “Cada parte de ti. Cada centímetro.”

“Say it again,” she breathed, nails dragging gently over my shoulders.

I obeyed, slower this time. She didn’t understand, but caught the meaning in my eyes even if the words came too fast. And when I came back up to kiss her — all tongue, teeth and full of want — she whispered back as soon as we stopped to take a breath:

“Soy tuya, Pedro.”

I paused.

She blinked up at me, cheeks flushed, lips puffy and parted.

“Where’d you learn that one?”

She smiled. “I have my secrets.”

“Mi amor,” I groaned again, eyes closed and my forehead resting against her shoulder. “I’m so fucked.”

She laughed under her breath, her hands still tangled in my hair. “I know what mi amor means.”

I smiled, lifted my head but my eyes were still closed for another second, just trying to restrain myself — her heartbeat was against my chest, her scent all around me, the heat radiating from her skin against mine. She was real, right here, under my body.

I was slowly pulling her out of the darkness, and proud to be able to do so.

My head went back a little more, eyes open this time, just enough to look at her. “Say it again,” I murmured. “I like how it sounds coming from that mouth of yours.”

“Mi amor,” she whispered, testing the shape of it on her tongue.

I kissed her hard for that alone. Then I said quietly, “It’s not just a phrase for me.”

She blinked at me, something soft stirring in her eyes.

Her hand slid along my jaw, fingertips slow. “Then what else are you saying when you say it like that?”

I exhaled, letting my thumb trace her cheekbone.

“That you’re mine,” I said in a whisper. “That I care more than I know how to explain. That I’d break every rule I’ve ever followed just to keep you close.”

She didn’t look away. “What was the other thing? Right before mi amor.”

I chuckled. “I said I’m so fucked.”

She grinned. “That part I understood.”

But then her voice dipped, quieter now. “What else do you say when you lose yourself like that? I want to know. Teach me.”

I swallowed hard — she had no idea what she was doing to me.

“You sure?” I asked, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead.

She nodded. “Tell me what it means when you say things like... like before. Like quiero saborearte.”

My breath caught.

She smiled, a little crooked, and a little mischievous. “I remember how you said it.”

I looked down at her — flushed cheeks, swollen lips, eyes full of fire and affection — and nodded.

“It means,” I said slowly, brushing my lips along her collarbone, “I want to taste you.”

“Oh,” she breathed deep.

“Cada parte de ti.” I kissed the curve of her shoulder so slowly. “Every part of you.”

She swallowed, fingers tightening on my back.

“Cada centímetro.” My mouth grazed her skin again, a little lower. “Every inch.”

“Pedro…”

Her voice cracked, and I felt her pull me in. Her hips shifted beneath mine, slow and needy. We were already so close, already so wrapped in each other, but the way she looked at me in that moment — eyes wide, heart open — I had to keep going.

“Tú me vuelves loco,” I whispered against her belly.

She looked down at me. “Say that again.”

“Tú me vuelves loco.” My voice was hoarse now. “You drive me crazy.”

I left open mouth kisses in every inch of her skin, watching how her breath hitched with every single touch, and going even more down with all of it. Even left little bites here and there.

“Quiero hacerte el amor,” I said, going back all the way up to her lips for another kiss.

Her hands froze on my back.

“What does that mean?” she whispered.

I took my time answering — kissed the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her pulse point.

“It means… I want to make love to you.”

She pulled back just a little — enough to look at me. Enough to see that I meant it, meant every part of it.

“Not just fuck?” she asked, teasing but also testing me.

“Not this time,” I shook my head. “Not just that. Not anymore.”

Her eyes softened, then turned molten. “Then do it,” she said. “Show me.”

Something about the way she said it — no fear, just quiet challenge wrapped in trust and lust — hit me low and hard.

I didn’t answer her with words. Not yet. I only nodded, and kissed her.

Slowly.

Deeply.

Like it was the last kiss I’d ever get, or maybe the first one that truly mattered in our relationship.

She parted her legs beneath me — no hesitation, just this soft, aching surrender that made my chest feel like it might break in half.

This wasn’t about need anymore, or heat, or any of the things we’d already indulged in over the last few days. This was different.

I wanted to worship her.

Her skin, her voice, the way her fingers curled against my shoulder as I kissed the edge of her breast like I’d never tasted anything better. 

“Tan hermosa” I said, dropping my mouth against one of her nipples. Her back arched into me.

My tongue circled it slowly at first, and I felt it coming alive inside my mouth. She moaned my name and my hand found the other one. The tip of her nipple in between my thumb and my index finger, I rolled it more than once. Her hands found their way up my neck into my hair.

I sucked, nibbled a little, and licked. Her hips rolling against my tight making me growl against her skin.

“Just like that” She said breathless.

I was painfully hard, and she could feel it with every roll of her body. Her right hand left the base of my neck, and came all the way down to feel me a little more. I gasped when she cupped and made the perfect pressure.

“Is this because of me?” She asked, trying to sound innocent, and I just nodded.

Told her she was beautiful — not in some throwaway compliment, but like I meant it. Because I did. God, I did. I’d never wanted someone like this. It was an overpowering feeling.

Every sigh that slipped from her lips felt like it belonged to me.

Every soft curse, every plea, the way she said my name like it was the only thing she could remember in all of this — all of it only made me want to give her more.

I moved down slow, steady — like the world had narrowed down to just this room, this bed, this moment.

My mission was to make her come at least once before I could think of myself. So I hooked my fingers on her underwear, slipped it down and went to work on giving her the best orgasm she could have.

She was dripping. I slipped two fingers against her folds and they came out soaked.

We locked eyes and I slowly sank two fingers right inside her tight and warm hole. She was already clenching when I started to fuck her with those two fingers, applying just the right pressure to her clit with my thumb.

“Voy a destrozarte” I said low, nuzzling just below her ear “Gonna wreck you, Cariño” She gasped — a sharp, guttural sound — as my fingers worked her open, slow but relentless. One hand fisted the sheets, white-knuckled, the other tangled in my hair like she needed to anchor herself to something real.

“Sí,” she moaned, breath catching on the edge of it.

God, that sound — that one word — went straight through me. I curled my fingers just right, found that spongy place inside of her and her whole body arched, hips bucking, thighs trembling around my wrist.

“Say that again,” I growled, low and hungry, watching her fall apart.

And she did — barely coherent now, that sí spilling from her lips in broken rhythm, each one softer, wetter, more desperate than the last. My name came next, raw and unguarded, dragged from somewhere deep inside her, and each one in a higher pitch than the last.

It was more like a plea as I continued fucking her with my fingers, hitting the same spot over and dragging that orgasm as long as I could.

I only stopped when she was writhing, crying out, her legs shaking around my forearm and her hand trying to reach for mine as she shattered, undone and so damn perfect.

She collapsed beneath me, breath hitching, body still twitching with the aftershocks. I didn’t move — just leaned in, pressing the side of my face against hers, my lips brushing the curve of her cheekbone as she trembled.

“Tan jodidamente perfecta,” I whispered, my voice hoarse in her ear. “So fucking perfect.”

She whimpered — soft, helpless — and I felt her smile through it, a little too gone to come back.

I kissed her temple, went down to her jaw, let my nose skim along her cheek as I whispered again, slower this time.

“Siento todo de ti. I feel everything.”

She turned her head toward me, found my mouth with hers — barely a kiss, more like breathing the same air together. Her fingers slipped into my hair, tugging gently, grounding herself.

“Pedro,” she breathed. Just that. Just my name.

I eased my hand from between her thighs, kissed the damp skin of her neck, her shoulder, her collarbone, savoring the quiet shudders still moving through her.

“Estoy aquí,” I murmured. “Contigo. Dentro de ti. Pronto.” (I’m here. With you. Inside you. Soon.)

Then I lifted my head, let her see everything on my face as I moved over her, slow and certain.

Because there was no going back. Not after all of this.

And when I finally sank into her, she gasped my name like she was feeling it for the first time — like it didn’t belong to me anymore. I stilled, buried to the hilt, both hands gripping her hips as she fluttered around me, all heat and heartbeat and barely-contained sound.

I stayed there, deep, still, letting her body take me in, inch by inch, like we had all the time in the world. Because if I move too fast, there’s no way in hell I’m lasting.

Her eyes didn’t leave mine. They burned into me, wide, open and glassy. Daring me to move while I was buried so goddamn deep I could barely breathe.

She didn’t move — not right away. She just clenched around me, slow and deliberate, and I had to close my eyes for a second to stay grounded.

“Fuck...” I groaned, jaw clenched tight. “Just, wait—fuck baby” 

She smiled — just a flicker. A quiet fuck-you kind of smile, and then her hips rolled up, meeting mine like a challenge.

“I’ve got you,” I whispered slowing my heart just enough so I could fuck her properly. “I’ve got you, mi amor.”

And then we moved.

There was nothing gentle about the way she pulled me in. Nails dragging down my back, thighs locking hard around my waist like she needed me deeper, closer, until our bodies stopped being separate things.

We found a rhythm — unhurried but relentless. That push and drag, skin to skin, every thrust pressing a sound out of her I wanted to memorize.

I swore under my breath — all in Spanish now — things I’d never said out loud to anyone before. Things I didn’t even know I felt until her body gave them permission.

“Hermosa… preciosa… mi vida… mírame, no pares…” (Beautiful... precious... my life... look at me, don't stop)

Halfway through, her mouth crushed into mine — not a kiss so much as a claim. Teeth, tongue and breath — all of it shared. All of it messy, hot and all ours.

I was lost in my own feeling and her body clenched around me so tight, sudden and sharp — a tremor I felt all the way through my spine. She gasped my name again, but this time it was broken — like it came straight from the part of her brain that didn’t have words anymore.

And I followed, helpless against it. Buried deep, mouth open on her shoulder, a groan ripped from somewhere low, rough and so honest. My body was shivering, and pumping her so full, I felt her third and short orgasm be triggered with my cum.

It was more like a silent surrender on her part, and she was done. So done, she couldn’t move properly.

So we didn’t move too much.

Her fingers threaded into my hair. My arms were locked around her like instinct. We stayed like that — no shift, no reach for the covers, no need to say anything. Just the sound of us catching our breath and slowing our heart rate down to an acceptable rhythm.

My body fell by her side, my — now soft— dick slipped free, and we just stayed.

I didn’t ask if she was okay, not like I had to, she was floating on my bed. Her hand moved lazily across my ribs, drawing shapes she wasn’t thinking about. Her face stayed tucked under my jaw, lips parted against my throat. I could feel the heat of every exhale.

I ran a hand up her spine — slow, gentle. Felt the last of her shivers melt into stillness.

I’d had sex before. More times than I could count. Intimacy, even. But this wasn’t about any of that. This was... intense, and it felt like staying and not pulling away. 

I breathed her in — her skin, her hair, that stubborn soap she carries everywhere in her camera bag. The smell of her was already a memory. Already my memory to keep.

She shifted, barely. Just enough to rest more of herself on top of me and to put her legs in between mine. A sigh slipped out of her, like her body had finally relaxed enough to stay unguarded.

Then I felt her smile against my skin — the soft curve of it against my neck — and I knew she was still awake. Or at least trying not to fall asleep.

“You realize what you did to me back there?” I murmured, voice still low and lazy, and mind still half-drunk on her.

She didn’t answer — not out loud. Just nuzzled in closer, smug as hell.

“That Spanish?” I said, brushing my lips against her hair. “The sí, the way you said my name, like you’d been practicing how to ruin me?”

Her laugh was a warm breath on my chest. Quiet and dangerous.

“I’m serious,” I said, feigning offense. “You knew what you were doing.”

“Lux is a very patient teacher.”

“Yeah, well—” I leaned in, kissing just under her ear, the same place I’d started earlier. “Whatever she taught you? It worked.” I bit down, gently. “You wrecked me.”

She shivered — pleased, smug, so soft I wanted to start all over again just to watch her unravel.

“I should call her,” I said, mock-serious. “Tell her she’s banned from teaching you anything else.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“No?” I brushed my lips against hers, slow. “She keeps giving you vocabulary like that, I won’t survive another week.”

She smiled against my mouth. “Then you better keep up, mi amor.”

I groaned, pulling her tighter. “God help me,” I muttered. “I’m so fucked.”

[pixiesfz]

p3 of this ….more jill next chapter I promise

lyrics more than words j.r x reader

plot: you get back into song writting after the incident

warning: mentions of sa and assault, it ends with us themed

She apologized.

She apologized a thousand times.

And for some stupid fucking reason you forgave her.

Why?

It could’ve been because you didn’t have many friends, she promised it was a one-time thing and it wouldn’t happen again.

You had no parents to go to.

It was a Thursday night, Ellie was opening the red wine to celebrate your eight-month anniversary but you didn’t find yourself excited. You sat on the ground of the living room, no matter how much it numbed your bottom half you hadn’t sat on the couch since the ‘incident’.

Ellie walked in with the wine and a charcuterie board you had made earlier and sat down on the couch behind you.  

“How was work?” You asked and Ellie played with your hair “The usual, clients lying and me having to cover up for them” She shrugged and you nodded.

“How about you?” Ellie asked and you thought about it.

You hadn’t had the most inspiration to write lately, at least the inspiration to write good songs, songs that weren’t filled with heartache.

“I’ve got a bit of writer's block at the minute,” you told her and she furrowed her brows.

Just listen to your old songs, you said that little things like that help” You nodded your head “Maybe”.

You tried.

Really fucking tried.

But it all leads to crying on your studio’s couch.

Listening to how much you once loved Ellie, trusted her, called her your home.

Now you dreaded going to her home, checked twice before she sat next to her and looked away once you told her you love her.

It wasn’t until you dug through your papers and found your old songs from high school you found the motivation to put your pen to a page.

The thoughts about your childhood, the love that you shared with Jill, the adrenaline that ran through you both when you ran away from your dates at the school dance to go into the only open classroom where you could still hear the music.

But then came the thoughts of sadness. You couldn’t hold her in public, or share kisses in the street. You couldn’t gush to your friends about her, the only person you could talk about Jill with… was Jill.

The whole ordeal was frustrating but when you thought back to it, you never regretted a single thing.

Your words wrote themselves on the page as you hummed a melody, this song was yours, and yours only.

You didn’t let anyone read it.

Not even Olivia who begged and begged, you hid it in your draw in your private office at the studio, it was reserved for no eyes but your own.

Now back into your groove, you watched as Ellie walked into your office with a bouquet.

Shocked you leaned back “Hi El, what are you doing here?” you asked and she shrugged “Just thought I’d say hi, you’ve been working hard and staying after hours” She smiled and you blushed.

It was a sweet gesture, and you hadn’t even noticed that everyone had left and you were the only one left.

“Well, is this for me?” you ask, pointing at the flowers and Ellie smirks “It’s actually for Olivia,” she says before you both laughed

“I just wanted to say I’m proud of you” she told you before handing them out “Let me grab a vase from the kitchen spot” you told her, placing a kiss on her cheek before leaving the office door.

Ellie looked around your office as you left, noticing a small key next to your keyboard, furrowing her brows she picked it up and looked around for a place it could go into.

You had always been trustworthy into the relationship and would always be loyal but ever since the game Ellie saw your eyes twinkle when Jill said hello to you.

She had never seen you look at her that way.

So she took it out on you that same night, she regretted it afterwards. When you forgave her she knew she had to keep you forever. You were hers.

When she finally found the keyhole at your desk she opened the draw to find pieces of paper with lyrics on it, a melody on the back.

‘secret love song’

Ellie annotated your writing as she read, this couln’t have been an old writing piece as your handwriting had changed and your writing was slightly mess, some of the letters connecting which meant you were on a roll, the feelings pouring out of you as you wrote.

Anger started to pour out of her, dropping the flowers onto your floor.

You walked in after and stopped at the door when you noticed what papers she had in her hands.

Fear washed over you.

“Ellie?” you asked, walking slowly to her, placing the vase down at your desk.

“When did you write this?” she asked and you panicked “Years ago” you shrugged and she placed it down “You’re lying”

You stepped back “Ellie-“

“Are you cheating on me?”

You rolled your eyes “no I am not cheating on you, this song is about something that happened years ago” you told her, ripping it from her hands.

It seemed to be enough reassurance for her since her shoulders sagged down “I just get self-conscious you know” she said and you nodded, stepping back from the girl.

You were scared

No.

You were petrified.

Stepping to the desk you grabbed the glass vase, putting it as far away as possible.

You looked from the vase and back to Ellie.

You shouldn’t have to stand with your partner and hide objects from them.

You had to leave.

[ohnonononononono567]

Games - Simon "Ghost" Riley x m!reader (fluff)

(erm boykisser alert!)

The gentle click-clacking of your fingers on the keyboard soothed Simon to no end. A small studio apartment, the smell of the dollar tree air freshener to hide the scent of a behemoth of a dog who runs around like he pays rent.

Simon wasn't in this house much. He was out working. He wanted something bigger. Never a fan of the small spaces. 

This place was close to your job, was always your reasoning. Shite reasoning if you asked him, but he knew you weren't one to want to be provided for straight off the bat.

So what else could he do? You're a grown man, you know what you want.

He laid on the bed, the soft sounds of classical playing on the radio next to the bed. The keyboard clacking adding on like ASMR.

Grunting, he got up, looming over behind you, and putting his hands on your biceps, squeezing,

"Get up. I want to head out."

You looked up at him, confused. You were playing a multiplayer after all, you couldn't just leave. :/

He sensed this, sensed what you wanted. But frankly, he doesn't care. 

"I don' like my men sittin' on their ass all day, yeah? Can't stay cooped up in this apartment forever."

You tried to protest, but it earned you a light slap on the back of your head,

"Yer yapping. Finish up your game, and I'll get us something to eat too. 'ell a lil more meat on your bones would d'ya good, yeah?"

Said the soldier, leaving the room to grab his car keys, a low rumble escaping his throat from his own joke (if you could call it one.)

Sitting with him at a park, he realizes it wasn't a keyboard, it was you who soothed him. Your presence.

He likes to believe his heart was too cold to ever be repaired. And he still believes that. 

But it doesn't mean you haven't reminded him that he still has a soul. A human one at least. 

A game has the same thing every time. A puzzle that needs to be solved, whether it be with skill or strategy, and a reward. But you can never change the game. You will never fix it to fit you, or alter it. The reward wouldn't feel deserving anymore.

And that's why he had the gall to say he loves you. You never tried to change him. You only tried to figure him out. And when you failed, you never quit. Just looked at him, as if there would be an answer. You saw him as a reward for what the world threw at you. 

He didn't know how to feel when he saw that look in your eyes. Looking at him as if he could ever appreciate you like you appreciate him. 

But this moment in the car after night had befallen the park, as you whined over not being able to play your silly little game and "losing a win streak.", just to be hushed by a hand on your knee and an adoring soldier driving you to your favorite little burger joint, Simon could care less. He's home.

(Daily reminder I am not a writer and don't actively write fanfiction pwease pwease pwease be nice >_<)

[cr4yolaas]

mezzo forte — homesick for a person

track 1: by the shore | masterlist | track 3: tbd

she feels his footsteps before she hears his knuckles rapping against the door. he knows it’s unlocked (it always is, despite his complaints about her safety), but he continues to knock, his consideration for her privacy at the forefront of his concerns.

a soft groan leaves her lips at the realization that he won’t let up until she gets up and opens the door herself (not that she doesn’t want to see him, but she’s afraid that she’ll lose all her flow). the wheels of her chair roll against the floor and her feet fall heavily, almost begrudgingly, on their path to the entrance of her studio.

she’s greeted with hajime’s figure basked in sunlight. clearly, the blistering heat hadn’t been very kind to him, so she ushers him in before she notices the food in his hands and his keys jangling from his pocket. neither of them say anything for a while, not until she finishes cleaning up her space and closing out the tabs. he notices the notebook — the same one he gifted her in their senior year — resting atop her keyboard. he fights the grin that crawls up to his face.

“sorry for making you wait,” she exclaims while pushing her chair back in. “i’m almost done with the rhythm for the third song, so i’m super excited. this is the third time they’ve sent it back for re-evaluation though, so i’m a little pissed.”

hajime shakes his head. “it’s all good. i just came over to remind you to take a break.”

she laughs at his response. she doesn’t realize the effect it has on him, the same way he doesn’t realize how giddy his care makes her feel. “thanks, haji. what’d you get?” she questions, her chin motioning towards the plastic bag in his grasp, a habit she picked up from him, which he picked up from his mother.

“food from home. mostly for you.”

it’s serene. the sun still rests high in the sky, its strings of light filtering through her windows and drenching every crevice of the studio. it’s just them.

she almost finds it ironic, how his name is etched in every page of notes and her affections for him are inscribed within the lyrics she was scribbling down moments before he arrived, and he sits beside her oblivious to it all. instead, he stuffs a spoonful of adobo and rice into his mouth, all while signaling for her to eat. she recognizes the recipe, one curated by his lola (but not the one with the arroz caldo recipe), its signature load of peppercorn graciously littered throughout the bowl he’d prepared for her. something in her heart jitters, and her stomach jumps in unison. her eyes fall to the space beside her, occupied by the one who she can’t seem to get over. she realizes how homesick she’s been, but not exactly for her home — rather, for him.

they eat in a comfortable silence. hajime hunches over on her couch, his grasp on his own bowl firm. she’s much slower in comparison, but he doesn’t complain. he waits. just as he always has.

“you wanna make up for friday?” he asks as she packs away the tupperware. he’s staring at her, and she’s painfully aware of it.

“yeah, of course.”

——

the café is loud. more than usual, despite it being a weekday.

“…iced matcha for her. thank you.”

she reaches into her phone case for her card, the plastic peeling off the device with a small pop. hajime already has cash in his hands, however, and before she can protest, the money is already inside the cash register. she nearly deflates.

“you should’ve let me pay,” she argues, albeit lightheartedly, as they traverse through countless bodies and tables to find a seat of their own. “you know i don’t mind.”

“‘s not an issue. it’s a little rude to make you pay after i’ve forced you outside, anyways.”

she clicks her tongue, but there’s no genuine displeasure on her features. they sit adjacent to each other. hajime’s leg bounces up and down, and her fingers find solace in their fidgeting.

“how was your trip?” he asks. his hands are crossed against his chest and he leans back against the chair, but his eyes are entirely on her. “the pictures you sent looked really nice.”

her back straightens up, and he knows he’s about to sit through a ten minute long ramble. he doesn’t mind, not one bit. he listens to every detail — the granny that reminded her of his own selling desserts on the roadside, the quality of the melons, the plethora of flower fields that stretched on for miles. he wants to experience it himself, but he decides that hearing it from her is more than enough.

there’s a pause as they take sips from their own drinks. iced black coffee for him, and an iced matcha latte for her. another constant in their relationship. he watches the tips of her fingers wrap around her straw as she takes long sips, the skin marred with blisters and indents. she watches him hold his cup from the rim, the straw sitting between the space created by his hand.

she releases a content sigh before copying his position, forgoing the crossed arms and instead opting to let her hands rest on her lap. “are you doing anything for your birthday?” she asks, although, for once, she isn’t looking at him. he follows her gaze out the window to see a little boy donning a paper hat, the printed decorations signifying a celebration.

“‘m not sure,” the man muses. in truth, the thought of his birthday hadn’t crossed his mind for a while, given the stress of the olympics. “i don’t have anything specific in mind. honestly, with how our schedule is right now, i don’t even know if i’d have the time to celebrate.”

a small hum escapes her lips before he gets up to discard their cups. the thought reverberates for a while, and she finds herself stumped at the situation laid out before her.

♪ i was too lazy to change the contact names for sho and kou for the planning gc but just know that tooru has silly names for them on his phone

♪ haji has more lolas than he can count tbh (i'm projecting). sometimes they show up at his and his parents' house unsolicited and sleep over for weeks on end, but they cook good food and bring lots of souvenirs from the philippines so no one complains (i'm projecting again)

♪ i hope u guys understand the peppercorn struggle </3 i loveee adobo but the rare occasion that i bite into a huge peppercorn and my mouth goes up in flames and bitterness is the worst

♪ msby 4 was so thankful for haji's normalcy they were all about to skip practice for a week if it went on

♪ haji didn't just drop her off at her place, but he walked her up to her apartment and gave her roommates a small serving of adobo <33 he's so man core

♪ also as soon as the group landed yn took her own taxi to her studio she was brimming with ideas LOL. the gfs are used to it so no complaints from them

taglist: @froyaoya @causenessus @guitarstringed-scars @yuminako @chemiru @sunnyskiezzzz @httpsivy @itsdragonius @theycallmenanamisgirl @wyrcan @19calicos @hunnies4bunnies @mawenskiblue

if your name is italicized, i’m unable to tag you. please check your visibility settings :)

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Seventeen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Okay! Hi!:) Just have to say thank you for all the love you lot keep showing this series, it’s so mad and so very appreciated. Honestly makes me want to carry on writing. But I also wanted to add a quick warning to this update.. There is a lot going on, we finally get what we’ve been waiting for!! But there are other topics that also come into play. SO that being said please read the warnings below.

Warnings: Mentions of drug and alcohol abuse (past tense), as well as sobriety, also a previous death, bit gruesome but needed- this relates back to a conversation held between Matty and Jamie in Part Eight.

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

She never did call.

Matty waited, and then waited some more. He fidgeted the rest of the day, smoked his way through a pack of fags when they’d been down at the studio, and then nursed a single pint after having allowed the guys to bully him into one of the local pubs.

It wasn’t until much later that night that he heard anything from her at all, and it hadn’t been a call, but instead a text.

Messages now Squeaks xx I listened to it 

He’d been cooped up in his office since the second he’d gotten home, looking through a couple of older demos and other sound clips in hopes that he’d find something that would fit with the current sound of their new album. George had been on his case about it all, claiming he’d been too spaced out as of late, so Matty had huffed but ultimately followed through.

Songbooks from years before were piled up high on his desk and on the floor, pages full of chords and scribbled lyrics cluttered the rest of the space, but he continued on, using it to distract him from the torturous wait.

When his phone finally did buzz, Matty had almost decided not to answer it, figuring that it would just be a message from Jamie, or maybe his mum. He was still waiting for that ring. But fuck was he glad that he’d taken a glance. Otherwise he might’ve missed it.

Are you busy?

The next text had come through almost a minute after the first, as though she’d been debating sending it. Matty frowned down at the screen, pushing away from his desk slightly.

She’d heard it.

She’d heard the demo. 

He didn’t quite know how to feel about that, or what to take from her clipped response. It was why he had essentially asked her to call him, because at least then he would’ve been able to somewhat determine what she’d thought about it, how she might’ve felt.

His tongue slid between the row of his front teeth in thought, staring down at the messages he’d received whilst his thumbs hovered over the keyboard looking for something to say.

Can you come over?

His fucking breath got caught in his throat just reading that, his tongue suddenly too big for his mouth. Matty didn't even think before he hastily answered her, worried she might take it all back.

Give me ten minutes.

He could do ten minutes. 

Fuck it. He’d fucking speedtail it out of here and try for five if it meant that she’d just let him in again. The last week had been painful enough, no need to fucking prolong it.

So that was what he did, throwing on the first pair of trainers he’d found in the hallway and grabbing at the car keys he’d tossed down on the counter months earlier. Forgetting about the album and the work he’d planned to do, along with whatever else that had seemed so important just a second ago.

She called and he would come running.

…

It was pissing down by the time he made it to her place.

Headlights on and ignition still running, Matty went to make his escape from the driver's seat, practically vibrating with the anticipation of it all. But he did momentarily pause to yank the keys from beneath the wheel before eventually scrabbling his way out of the sidedoor, feet immediately dropping into the murky puddle sat beneath. 

He’d parked like a fucking dickhead, halfway onto the curb and his boot sticking out into the empty street, but he could care less about it as he jogged around the front of the car and up the first few steps to her door.

There was blood rushing in his ears, filling up his head and making him dizzy with it all. He raised a fist to knock, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

He’d gotten there in just under seven minutes. 

His heart was pounding like mad. 

He knocked. 

It was minutes or maybe seconds before he heard a slight scuffle on the other side. Before the hallway light turned on and peered through the painted window pane sat atop the familiar front door. 

The chain fell with a clang and Matty swallowed, watching on as the hinges creaked, revealing her face.

She stared up at him, standing in a pair of pyjamas he remembered seeing on a late night call of theirs, her hair all tied up in one of those pretty buns, soft curls escaping at the sides.

Her lips parted with her next breath, the sound of it jumped out at him and Matty couldn’t really hold back anymore. It had been six months. Six whole months. Almost to the day they’d met... Back when he’d been cocksure and arrogant. When he’d still been reeling from another stint in rehab, and from the stunt before the summer, and from Luke’s death.

Matty paused. 

He hadn’t really thought about Luke so easily. Not ever. Not since that night. Not in passing.

But she was currently staring back at him. Her eyes wide and tired. Shining in the light of the street lamps that crowded the street outside. 

Matty stepped forward, reaching for her. 

“Tell me to stop.” He muttered. 

She didn’t. 

And so his hand found the edge of her jaw, fingers nestling into a place at her hairline, skimming the tip of her ear.

“I can’t.” She answered him. Always so full of truth. 

And Matty, Matty was a selfish man. He’d been a selfish kid, too. A bratty teenager. A hellish son and an even worse boyfriend. Always so egotistical, so bold, so brazen. But even more so, selfish. 

He would take and take. And this moment was no different. He took.

Her mouth met his with an agonising fever, and there was an eager sigh that escaped in the breath shared between them that Matty couldn’t really determine if was his or hers.

She let him in so easily, let his tongue roam. She let him pull her close, let his hand find purchase on her hip and hear her moan. 

It was a whimper of a thing, a sound that was swallowed up by his mouth as he consumed her again. But it fuelled that fire within him, that heat which had been simmering so close to the surface of his skin for weeks, months now. 

“Mouse.” Matty said shakily, walking her backwards, further into the flat, where their feet shuffled over the hardwood floors. The door swung shut behind them and rattled in the silence before he was spinning and pressing her shoulders up against its cold wood. 

“Matty.” She breathed back to him, fingers catching on his neck, then his jaw, winding their way up into his hair. Tugging. 

A grunt escaped him and he pressed harder with it, teeth catching on her teeth, hands moulding into her skin. 

She tasted of something sweet, it coated the length of her tongue and melded well with the cigarette he’d lit on his way over. He wanted to taste more of it, found his nose pressing against the skin of her cheek in an attempt to do so. 

It was a second later that he felt himself rut up against her, accidentally mind, but the zip of his jeans tugged at the band of her bottoms and the movement made him realise he was hard. Had been half-way there from the moment she had texted him, but now, in her hallway, with her grinding up against him, and with those pretty little sounds she let slip, it was almost painful.

“Squeaks.” He managed to force out and she swallowed her own name right up, one arm wrapping around the length of his shoulders whilst the other tugged at the nape of his neck. 

Matty followed her demands effortlessly, a hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to feel at the warm skin hidden beneath, a calloused thumb brushing against the jut of her hip.

He explored, felt the edges of rigid flesh she kept hidden and out of sight, the freckles that lingered and dotted her torso, then wedged his knee between her legs. Hands grabbing at the backs of her thighs. 

One of her knees rode up higher on his side as he shifted even closer, letting her use him like a makeshift ladder to lift herself further up in the little space which stood between him and the door. 

He rutted again and the joint of her knee tightened by his hip, the heel of her foot digging into the back of his leg, forcing him even nearer. He grabbed at the swell of her arse, noting the way she arched into him at the touch. How her stomach tensed. 

It had just been pissing it down outside, he recalled belatedly, but her warmth in that moment seemed to dry up the remaining raindrops caught in his hair and along the shoulders of his coat. His fingertips pressed harder into her thighs at the thought, feeling the bottom of her shirt ride up higher between them upon catching on the zip of his jacket. 

She nipped at his lip, then his jaw, hands all but clawing at his neck and his back.

“Squeaks.” He tried again, brain hazy with want but needing to do this right. He had to do this right. “Squeaks.” Again he said, a plea within a shared breath between them, “Baby, please.”

She retreated all too quickly, letting him go with a sharp inhale. Lids heavy with avidity as she blinked back at him. 

Matty realised then that he’d had her pinned to the door, crowded against the wood and practically having lifted her up off of her feet. He swallowed thickly at the sight and willed his dick to calm the fuck down. But it had been way too fucking long. 

He was unhurried in the way he shifted beneath her before carefully letting her go, unwinding the leg he held at his hip before she slid slowly down his front. Feet hitting the cold wood floors with a soft thud.

He blinked and gone was that selfishness they had just shared, that immediate heat, and suddenly she was all wary, shy almost. Matty reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before he steeled himself and finally took a step back.

“You came.” She murmured after a breath, and had his mind been in better shape he’d have been quicker with his quip.

But yet, he was left drifting in between the heady thrill and the uneventful come down they’d shared. 

He blinked slowly at her. Could see that the hallway light was the only one on, but somewhere, further down the hall, a soft glow from one of her many lamps crept its way past a door. 

“You said you’d call.” He found himself saying in reply, though it wasn’t the reprimand he’d thought it was. 

Her smile was soft then. Fond. 

His breath caught at the sight of her, still laboured from the minute before.

“After.” Squeaks whispered in recall. And Matty heard himself repeat it, “After, you said.”

She took a small step closer to him, the padding of her feet echoed in the narrow walkway. Matty’s hands twitched at his sides.

He saw her throat bob. 

“Tea?” She questioned, and Matty was both thankful and resentful for the quiet offer. 

He nodded, blinking owlishly at her. 

They stood there, not moving, for a long moment. The sound of a car passed, then the scuffle of a person or two outside, as well as the far off yap of a neighbouring dog. And still they just stood there, staring.

She took another step nearer and Matty attempted not to react to the way her fingers caught on the front of his coat, memorising the careful way she started to peel it off of him, turning so that she could claim it and then hang it off some place to the side. He looked at her the whole while, scared to take his eyes off her, in truth.

He licked at his lower lip when he caught her staring too and captured her hand in his when she went to step around him. 

“Tea.” He reminded himself and she smiled, eyes flickering across the length of his face. As though she was seeing him for the first time.

“Tea.”

…

Her kitchen always felt so homely. 

She had spices fixed to a rack on the wall, wound in growing ivy attached to the potted plant that sat on the windowsill beside it. Her fridge was dotted in magnets and polaroids, and a drawing of Teddy’s hung front and centre. The table was always so neat, though still cluttered with the odd crayon and lego piece, a bowl of fruit was perched in the very middle. She had one of those kettle cosy’s too, a knitted one that reminded Matty of days spent at his nana’s house when he was just a boy. 

His favourite part of all of it though, had to be her. 

He stood in the doorway and just watched as she puttered about the space, flashbacks of previous visits coming back to him. She had this easy grace about her, an elegance he always seen but could never quite make out. She was a piece to many puzzles in the way she typically held herself, so ready to fight and so willing to wilt, but in that moment she just was.

And Matty could hardly tear his eyes away from her, from the length of her back to the curve of her waist. The taste, the memory of her still coating his tongue.

He’d kicked off his shoes before he could trail a messy track throughout her home, so his footsteps were quiet when he finally crossed the kitchen tiles. He paused just behind her, his hands falling to her hips whilst his chin dropped to rest on her shoulder.

She allowed it. Picking up the kettle to pour over two mismatched mugs, he simply watched her work.

It was a difficult task not allowing his hands to wander, or to keep his mouth from pressing against the pulse in her neck, but he withheld, content to just hold her. Humming when she picked up the milk and thinking over the last day they’d spent together. That night at his.

They moved over to the table not long after, her kitchen blinds were still open so the moon gifted them all the light they needed. Matty kept close, knocking his knees against hers at the very corner of the table, unwilling to go without.

She was quiet still whilst she danced a finger around the rim of her steaming brew, Matty was mesmerised by the delicate motion.

A hum of hers broke the silence they had since settled in, the softness of it causing him to blink and look up, immediately recognising the faint tune of the demo he’d sent her.

He smiled, his eyes caught on to the one she wore too. Practically conspiratorial.

His legs reached outwards to capture one of her ankles between his feet, her gaze flickered back and forth between both his eyes. He wondered what she saw in them, what she made of him.

“I’m guessing you liked it then.” Matty spoke, voice ever so low, still scared to break their languid solitude.

Mouse dipped her chin in a nod, peering up at him through dark lashes that made him want to catch her by the neck and pull her in again. He knew what she tasted like now, he felt as though it would forever haunt him.

“Thank you,” She whispered after, fingers cupped around the bottom of her mug. His brow furrowed.

“For what?”

She smiled again, blinking at him sweetly, “For my gifts, for always being so lovely, for sending me that song.”

Matty snorted, knowing that the last thing he could possibly be was lovely.

Fingertips touched his chin then and she guided his face back up to meet hers, he hadn’t realised he’d even looked away. But it was then that he was reminded of that night in his own kitchen, crowded between her legs and the counter, her kind eyes. You’re enough.

“Was it for me?” She questioned, watching him closely again. Something she tended to always do. “‘Cause that kiss, it sort of made it feel like it was for me.”

Matty grinned, eyes squinting with the strength of it. 

It was so easy- too easy, even- for her to make him smile like that, and he couldn’t even begin to decide whether he loved or hated the fact that she had the ability. 

“Yeah, Squeaks. It was for you.”

Her cheeks dimpled in an attempt to dim the smile she then wore, elbows pressing against the table’s edge, her foot resting on top of his own. “Good.” She murmured, leaning in closer now.

“Good?” He chuckled, following the motion. Eyes caught on the curve of her mouth.

“Uhuh,” She breathed into the small space between them, nose brushing against the side of Matty’s own. “Really good.”

He laughed again, low and breathy this time around, before he finally closed the distance and kissed her for a second time.

She laughed too, smiling against his lips.

–

For an insomniac, the dark was a place full of many contradictions.

Matty had spent countless hours staring up at all types of ceilings, in all sorts of places, and in all kinds of countries. But hers, he reckoned, was possibly his favourite. As most things had come to be in the short time he’d spent with Mouse.

Because even as she slept on beside him, bundled in the duvet and a blanket that smelt of her, he didn’t stress over the fact that he was still wide awake. 

His mind was too preoccupied to stress. Just thinking back to the expression she’d worn when she’d first opened the front door. To the breathy gasps that had escaped her in the hallway. The way she’d gently carded her fingers through his hair after she’d lured him into bed. Promising to talk more tomorrow.

He thought of Luke then, as well. As he often did whenever the darkness plagued him.

The fucker would be laughing if he could just see him now, obsessing and all soppy over some bird. Smiling away to himself in the dark.

But Matty knew that he’d be happy too. Glad that he was finally getting back on the right track. Actually trying this time around. Because Luke had known the hardships of addiction just as well as Matty had- it was what had killed him in the end, wasn't it.

He could still picture his face, both before and after the fall. One second they’d all been grinning on that roof, high as kites and drunk out of their minds, having the time of their lives, and then his had hit the concrete.

Matty’s stomach rolled at the thought.

At the eerie silence that had followed.

He’d been struggling that night, trying to get clean, to stay clean. And they’d only gone to the party, Luke and Danny, to appease him. Luke, having tagged along wanting to look out for him, to make sure that he didn’t get too caught up in anything he couldn’t get himself out of.

Luke had been sober three months at that point. Clean of the drugs and the drink. All of it. He’d drank that night though, the party had been at one of his dodgier mates places and he wouldn’t have been able to have stayed in the clear.

Matty remembered egging him on, telling him to live a little. To have a beer. A shot. And then another. And another. Someone else had offered him that line though.

He’d been hammered by the time some idiot had come up with that dare and they’d all thought it had been a sick idea to try and walk the length of the roof. Like they were at Zippo’s sodding circus.

Luke had been doing so good. Matty had known it too. What with his first EP coming out that September, something which Jamie had made happen, and his new flat that he’d not long moved into. Away from the familiarity of street corners he knew far too well and faces of dealers that he’d seen time and time again before.

He’d been good. Been going steady.

Then he was just dead.

Matty didn’t close his eyes then, even as they began to water. Didn’t want to see him like that. Knew that he would if only he shut his eyes. Because he couldn't stand to see the reminder, the life that had left him too quickly.

A slight sniff broke him from his thoughts then and he stilled as Mouse moved and turned in her sleep.

He let himself breathe a little easier once she’d settled again, tucking her face into the crook of his shoulder and nestling further into his side. He wrapped an arm around her, needing her close, and then finally allowed his eyes to fall shut, burying his face in the top of her hair.

He wondered if she’d let him stay from now on and pressed a long kiss to her forehead.

He hoped that she would, listening to the quiet that hummed throughout the rest of her flat as his mind began to let go of what consciousness it had once clung on to.

‘Tomorrow’ was his final thought before he eventually drifted off. It had been a long time since he’d thought that he’d ever make it to a tomorrow.

–

It was a grunt I woke up to. The heavy and unfavoured kind, the type that was only ever forced out of you when you received a hefty blow to the stomach.

I felt my face wrinkle as I pressed in closer to the warmth beside me, unhappy to have been woken. But then I heard a whisper, followed by a giggle, which had me blinking blearily and peering up at the toddler now towering over me.

“Wake now?”

“Teddy.” I heard someone else laugh right above my head, and I was quick in the way I looked up, recognising that the warmth I’d been clinging to had been Matty all along. “You’re an actual monster, you know that?”

Teddy squealed happily when Matty tickled his sides, but seemed content with his place on the man’s stomach and the fact that Matty was here at all. 

I wanted to groan at the very idea, I hadn't much thought this through. Not when I’d heard the song, thinking back to the night I’d spent at his, the fight we’d had, the way he’d held Teddy and promised him that things would soon be alright.

It hadn’t felt real. It still didn’t.

“Wake?” Teddy said to me again and I had to give a soft laugh when I felt his finger prod at my cheek, which was probably marked with the line of Matty’s t-shirt now. “Yeah?”

I chuckled again, peering up at him. “Yeah, I’m awake.” I replied, smiling before I rubbed at my eyes.

Matty’s arm seemed to be tucked up under me because it twitched a tad when I moved. I grimaced at the loss of feeling he must have experienced and murmured a quiet “Sorry,” shuffling over slightly so that I could free the limb. But he merely laughed to himself before his hand came up to rub at my arm, keeping me close. 

“It’s fine.” Matty replied, his voice tinged with sleep and grainy from lack of use, but then he winced and flexed his fingers, “Oh.”

I snorted softly and glanced up at him, “Pins and needles?”

His nose wrinkled further, as did his lips when he tilted his head back and tried to shake loose the feeling from his wrist. I let him have his arm back, turning over onto my stomach to simply watch him, drinking in the sight of him whilst I still could.

“Yeah.” He hissed out and Teddy, who was watching too, started to shake his arm alongside Matty.

Matty only noticed the mimicking movement when he felt the toddler shift on his torso and opened his eyes up only to laugh at the way that Teddy was now copying him.

“Oi,” He admonished, using his other hand to playfully pinch at the boy’s side, “What you think you’re doin’?”

Teddy giggled, hair a mess from having just woken but grinning all the while. “Dancin’! Like you!”

I shook my head and bit back my sudden amusement before dropping it down into my hands when I couldn’t quite manage to hide my growing smile.

“Oh, we’re dancing are we?” I heard Matty say, and could feel the grin he probably wore. Then Teddy was laughing again and squirming beside me once more, sounding so happy, before the bed tilted more so to one side and a soft thud was heard. “Oi, where you off to!” Matty asked him whilst Teddy’s giggles still echoed around the space.

“Tele!” Was the only response he got and I listened to the way Teddy’s feet hurried out of the room, having escaped Matty’s merciless tickles.

There was a quiet for a moment before I felt a hand come to cradle my head and fingers card their way through my hair.

I leaned into the touch, savouring it. I didn’t think anyone had ever touched me with such a softness before, like I was something to be treasured, to be held and kept close.

It was a long while before I finally raised my head again, blinking at the sweet sight I was met with. I smiled at the mess his curls were in and the way his eyes squinted in the dim light of the room.

“Hi.” I whispered and his fingers stilled in my hair when he looked back at me. 

Matty didn’t say a thing though, merely shuffled further down the bed, the duvet being kicked somewhere to the bottom before he finally settled in beside me, both our heads now resting on a single pillow.

His fingertips skirted along the edge of my jaw and trailed across the bottom of my lip before his thumb reached out to catch it too, pinching the flesh ever so slightly.

“You snore.” Matty said to me then and my mouth dropped open slightly in offence.

“I do not.”

He snorted to himself, grin widening, “You do.”

I shoved him but his hands were quick to grab at my arms, wrapping them up and moving to press them against his chest. “It’s cool though, they’re cute snores.”

“How the fuck can they be cute, Matty?”

He rolled his eyes at the ask, still grinning away. “Like, just soft and stuff. Don’t stress, I’ve roomed with George and he’s got the lungs of a whale or summat. I could probably sleep next to a fog horn and feel at home.”

A bright laugh escaped me at that, before I was shaking my head gently and looking back at his sleepy smile. “That makes me feel so much better.”

Matty smacked his lips around another grin, shrugging the shoulder that wasn’t pressed to the mattress. He reached out then, brushing a loose strand from out of my face and let his thumb linger on a freckle.

“Your breath stinks as well.”

I bit into my bottom lip at that, narrowing my eyes at him. “Well yours is no better! And besides, you didn’t seem to mind it much last night.”

I went to turn over then but he was hasty in his movements to grab at me, tugging me back towards him, closer this time. I laughed joyfully, “Hey!”

“Hi.” Matty grinned smugly once we'd settled, his hand falling to the small of my back.

I was gripping one of his shoulders now whilst my other arm laid in the little space between us. “I said that already.” I told him, feeling each soft exhale that escaped him. 

He hummed, thumb rubbing circles into my skin. “I missed you, you know.”

My brow furrowed, “You slept right beside me, you muppet.”

He pinched my hip in retaliation and so I chuckled. “You know what I meant.”

I did know.

“Missed you, too.” I murmured, letting my fingertips trail up over the side of his neck, liking the feel of his barely there stubble. “But-”

He stopped me then, nudging my cheek with the tip of his nose, “I know. Later, yeah?”

My eyes fell closed and I hummed in agreement, later was fine. We could talk later.

His hand pressed against the curve of my back, forcing me even closer, and so my fingers worked themselves into his hair. I exhaled softly and tilted my head forward just a touch. He closed the distance between us in a single heartbeat.

Kissing Matty was different, everything about it just felt right in a way that no other kisses ever quite had. Things appeared to click. Fall into place around me. 

But don't get me wrong, it was painful too, because there was that ache in my chest again, the hole that hollowed out my unforgiving heart. I wanted him but at the same time, I was too terrified to reach out and touch.

Our lips brushed, once, twice, then a third time, hesitant and careful, before something shifted and I was taken back to the previous night. To the way his fingers had dug deep into my thighs, to the front door pressing against my spine, to the way he’d held me so weightlessly.

Talking could wait til later, I reminded myself.

Now, all I wanted was for Matty to consume me and I immediately gasped at the cold hand that dragged its way up my side to tease me, thumb brushing against the nipple that hardened beneath it. 

I wouldn’t let him have all the fun though, so without a second thought I rolled him over and settled on his hips. He was surprised by the change but adapted seamlessly, rutting up off the mattress to meet me, one hand still toying with me, taunting, whilst the other cupped the back of my head.

It was back and forth for a short while, mouth chasing mouth, chests heaving with the force of it.

But then, a bang hollowed out the flat.

I jumped at the sudden noise and shot my head over towards the door, listening in closer.

“Okay?” I called out, noting the breathless quality my voice now had. I waited and didn’t move even when Matty’s hands came to just sit on my waist. 

“‘Kay!” I heard Teddy shout back and I released a semi-amused huff before turning back to face the man beneath me, “Sorry.”

And I was. I really was, especially when I forced myself to drop back down onto the bed sheets next to him.

Matty simply chuckled and I glanced over at him, smiling slightly when he reached out to swipe a gentle thumb over the scar on my jaw. “You’re good." I wondered if he was just saying that, but then, "What do you think he’s actually done though? Sounded like the bike to me.”

I sighed at the very thought. The bike had been one of my mum’s many Christmas gifts to Teddy, one which I hardly had any room for in the flat. I silently hoped that it wasn't the bike, but was caught on the way Matty had so easily adapted, moving on without complaint.

Was that normal?

Matty’s hand coaxed me back into looking at him again and I softened when I saw the smile he wore. “Later,” He reminded me, knocking a knuckle against my chin before he withdrew completely, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “How about a fry up then? There's that bakery by the studio or the cafe up near mine, choice is yours but it’s on me.”

“Matty.” I huffed, not a whine but near enough, extending an arm out in hopes that it would call him back to bed.

He smirked, glancing at me from over his shoulder once he'd stood. He dragged a hand through his hair. “Come on, got a growing boy to feed- Teddy too, I 'spose.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help my grin. “You’re an idiot.”

“So you’ve said.” He quipped and I could hear how his laughter filled the flat even as he headed for the bathroom, “Teds get ready, mate! We're getting bacon!”

I fell back onto the mattress with a smile, staring up at the ceiling above me with a little bit of hope.

[ssweeterthanfiction]

Wait for your love.

content warnings (for the whole series): mentions of drugs and alcohol, age gap, gaslighting, billy being TOXICCCCC, mental health issues,

↳ currently playing ;

Logical - 1977

0:56 ——•———————— 3:24

↺       <<          ll          >>     ⋮≡

Y/N: “You know, some people say you do stupid things when you’re in love.”

“I guess I was really in love with Billy, cause I couldn’t stop doing dumb things.” 

“I was getting high and drunk every night. Even before I went onstage.”

“After the band had their last show for the Numbers Tour, I was able to get a break. I wasn’t surrounded by all the temptation anymore. But that didn’t mean that I just stopped craving it.”

“This is when everything started falling apart for me. And the band in a way too.” 

“Daisy went on a haywire and ran off to Asia, no one knew at the time but that’s Daisy for you.”

“Anyways, me and Billy were now at home. Not on the road, not at gigs, not in hotel rooms, we were home.”

Billy: “It wasn’t weird being at home with her, I mean before we even started dating she was always around the house. But this was before she developed her addiction.”

Y/N: “We went to a ton of parties and clubs. It was the only thing that could satisfy my need for an adrenaline rush. Of course I still had gigs here and there, you know, talk shows, photoshoots and stuff like that, but partying was what filled my needs.”

Billy: “I would be there with her at every party…and normally we’d leave parties fighting.”

Karen: “It was always hard seeing them go to parties all happy and ‘in love’ with each other and then see Billy just leave her high and dry for another girl.”

“And then to see them leave fighting with each other, it was always the worst.”

Eddie: “Billy always treated her like shit. Always.”

“Every argument was basically the same, he would start it, she would say something back, he’d make some shit up or make her believe that she was crazy or the problem and then she’d be the one to apologize in the end.” 

“He’s the reason her addiction got so bad. He broke her.”

Y/N: “I was getting to my breaking point. But I depended on Billy for so much.” 

“At least I felt like I did. I felt like if I left him, it would be the worst thing in the world. I felt, indebted to him.”

“I always told myself that without my feature on Groupie Love, I wouldn’t have anything. I wouldn’t be anyone. I wouldn’t have made it alone. I would’ve never gotten my fame without Billy.”

“I felt like none of my achievements were mine. That— that nothing I did was mine. That it was all Billy.”

“And he always seemed to remind me of that.” 

Daisy: “I don’t know why she would ever think that she wouldn’t be anyone without Billy.” 

“I don’t know how many times she would come to me for advice, she would always come to me, practically crying because she thought she was doing something wrong. She was afraid she wasn’t enough. But she was the complete opposite.”

“She was fucking talented— still is. She had a gorgeous voice, a beautiful personality, and was just, the best person to be around.” 

“There was this one time before tour ended, we were in the studio together, it was super late and she just laid everything out on me.” 

“I felt horrible, she has one of the kindest hearts.”

“I don’t think Billy ever really appreciated that.” 

                🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

You were in the studio late at night, alone. You had felt like you needed a breather, especially after tonight’s fight with Billy. The studio at night was always peaceful, nothing else but you and your music. 

You were messing around with some keys on a keyboard when you heard a door open. Looking up from the piano you saw a figure by the door. 

“Hey kid, didn’t know you were here” 

You let out a little sigh of relief when you saw Daisy.

“Oh— Daisy it’s just you. You scared me a little.” 

She chuckles and sits on the ground next to you, “What are you working on?” 

“Nothing really, just messing around with some stuff” 

She nods and looks at your appearance, you look tired, exhausted even and it looked like you had been crying. 

“Are you okay?” 

You nod, “Yeah, I’m fine” 

Daisy had a way of looking at people, like she could see past all the layers you tried to hide behind. She frowns and puts a hand on your shoulder, “Come on, spill.” 

You felt knots in your stomach, the words lodged in your throat. You didn’t even know where to start. But Daisy was patient, watching you with those sharp, knowing eyes.

“It’s Billy,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“What about Billy?” 

“I just… I don’t know. I feel like I’m not enough for him.”

Daisy raised an eyebrow. “Not enough? You’re kidding, right?”

You shook your head as you fought back tears. “He’s always…looking at other girls. Always finding some reason to pick a fight or disappear for hours. And I keep wondering what I’m doing wrong. What they have that I don’t.”

Daisy frowns more, “You think it’s about you?”

“Isn’t it?” you asked, your voice cracking. “I mean, if I were prettier, or more exciting, or—”

“Stop.” Daisy’s tone was sharp, cutting you off mid-sentence. “Listen to me. Whatever Billy’s issues are, they’re his. They’re not about you, and they’re sure as hell not your fault.”

“But—”

“No ‘but,’” she said firmly, her green eyes blazing. “You could be the most perfect woman in the world, you already are, and he’d still find a way to screw it up. Because that’s what he does. You’re not the problem, Y/N. He is.”

Her words hit you like a punch to the gut, the truth of them settling in your chest like a weight. “Then why does it feel like I’m the one falling apart?”

Daisy’s expression softened, and she reached to take your hand. “Because you care,” 

“Too much, maybe. You’re trying to fix something that isn’t yours to fix. And that’s exhausting.”

You looked down at your intertwined hands, her rings cold against your skin. “So what do I do?”

Daisy smiled faintly, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “You figure out what you want, what you need. And then you stop settling for less than that. It’s not easy, but trust me—it’s better than this.”

You look up at her, “What if I don’t know what’s better than this?”

Daisy pulls you into a big hug, “Trust me, you’ll figure it out”

When she pulls away, she cups your face in her hands, “So, you wanna show me what song you’re working on?”

You smile and sniffle as you nod. You hand her your small notebook, and for the rest of the night she helps you finish a song, and for once, you feel truly at peace.

  🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Warren: “I think what was y/n’s problem was that she was afraid to stand up to Billy. I mean, she defended the hell out of him whenever anyone would say anything even mildly bad about him” 

“I remember there was this one time after a party, the day after I think, Eddie, Graham and I were talking about how Billy went too hard the night before. I tried not to say too much, for once, but Eddie just kept going at it.”

“Then she walked into the kitchen and Eddie said something like “Y/N, why are you still with Billy? He treats you like shit and always just leaves you during parties.” 

“She said that he just has a lot of shit going on and that he wasn’t in his right mind.” 

“Then she walked out and went back into Billy’s room.”

Graham: “Y’know I don’t even think she was trying to convince others that Billy wasn’t an asshole. I think she was just trying to convince herself.”

                🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

You were at a party with the band, and Billy was no where to be found. 

The music was too loud, the lights too dim, and the air reeked of cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. You were navigating your way through the party, trailing through a haze of bodies in search of him. 

You turned a corner into one of the quieter back rooms, where laughter was softer, secrets whispered behind closed doors. That’s when you saw him…with another girl. 

Her hands were on his shoulders, her hair spilling like silk down her back as she leaned in, lips brushing the corner of his mouth. And he didn’t stop her.  

For a moment, your feet were rooted to the ground, your breath caught somewhere between disbelief and devastation. This wasn’t real, you told yourself.

“Billy.”

His head whipped around, eyes wide with something that wasn’t quite guilt. More like panic. He was quick to push the girl away and run towards you. 

“Y/N, it’s not—”  

“Not what it looks like?” you snapped, your voice trembling with fury. “Go ahead. Say it. Lie to me. Again.”  

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking. It doesn’t mean anything.”  

“You weren’t thinking?” You stepped closer, your heart pounding. “What part of this didn’t require thought, Billy? The part where you let her touch you? Or the part where you kissed her back?”  

“Keep your voice down,” he hissed, glancing nervously around the room. A few people were already watching, pretending not to, but you didn’t care.  

“No. I’m done keeping my voice down!”

Billy groans and drags you to a different area.

You’re quick to push him away, “Don’t fucking touch me Billy!” 

He pinches the bridge of his nose and then looks at you, “Look— I know you’re upset but—“ 

“But what Billy?!”

He glares at you, “Keep your goddamn voice down!” 

“No!” 

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” 

You give him a look of disbelief, “Are you fucking serious—Are you really trying to turn this on me right now?“ 

“I’m not turning anything on you. But you have been drinking, haven’t you?” 

You blink a few times, was he really being serious?

“Don’t change the fucking subject Billy! We’re talking about y—“

“No. You don’t change the fucking subject!”

You have a look of complete disbelief on your face, “Don’t— Don’t you fucking dare Billy.” 

“Look I’m just saying. But come on, don’t make this more dramatic than it has to be.” 

He grabs your hand, “Come on, let’s go.” 

“What?” 

“We’re leaving. Let’s go.” 

You’re in shock as he starts walking with you, normally you would just go with Billy, going with him meant going back to the house to some crappy apology and then being in bed with him. You didn’t want that though.

“No.” 

Billy stops in his tracks, “No?” 

You push him away and take a few steps back, creating a decent amount of space between the two of you. “I don’t want to leave.”

He scoffs and bites the inside of his cheek, “Fine. Do what you fucking want.” 

You watch as he walks away, and you feel a sort of…relief. You also felt like something was changing in you. Something that told you that you aren’t going to let Billy walk all over you anymore. 

                🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Eddie: “Y/N came back to us looking, relieved. When she told us that she said no to Billy, I was so proud.” 

Karen: “Y/N standing up to Billy was not the most crazy thing that happened that night.” 

“She may or may not have made out with a guy after a certain someone convinced her to.” 

Warren: “What? I always hated seeing her get hurt whenever Billy made out with a random girl, so can you blame me for SUGGESTING that she does the same?” 

Graham: Laughing “Oh when Billy saw her, he was PISSED. But he didn’t say anything at all. Must’ve been hard seeing his girl give him a taste of his own medicine. But y’know what, it was nice to see Y/N happy, or at least act like she was happy. She finally got to actually enjoy the party for once.”

Y/N: “I was starting to realize a lot of things quickly. I was realizing that Billy wasn’t good for me. I was realizing that I deserved better. And I realized that my whole drug thing, I had to stop.” 

“So I tried, and while I was trying…I still tried to convince Billy that he should get clean too.” 

“I was convinced that I could somehow fix him, but it’s hard to fix something that’s been broken so many times.” 

A/N: *drops and runs away*

AHHH ITS HERE ITS HERE. you guys have no clue how much FUN i had writjng this. ESPECIALLY THE SCENE WITH DAISY LIKENBBASFHJKNFAHYGHFU

anyways...the 1977 era is coming to a close...then reader has to go bye bye for a while...(I AM SO EXCITED FOR 1978 NAKJJDNJGJKS)

ok so ik i said i would release GOU and WFYL on the same day BUT GOU isnt done yet so it'll hopefully come out like friday night or like saturday night. but i swear it will be out this week.

ANWAYS I hope you guys enjoyed reading this!! as always I hope you all have a good day/afternoon/night!!

and my requests are open! so leave whatever questions/ask you guys want! (it may take me a while to get to them since I do already have alot but I will get to it so dw!)