#and a significant pay rise
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skendoss · 6 months ago
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his smile is everything let this man live in peace i BEG 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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tevos · 1 month ago
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thatrandombystander · 11 months ago
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What the FUCK do you mean the government changed the rules for voluntary higher education repayments earlier this year? They no longer count towards your compulsory repayment?? They're no longer factored into your tax statements????
I thought I was gonna get $2,000 back in tax return 😭
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reasonsforhope · 2 months ago
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"Oil company Chevron must pay $744.6 million to restore damage it caused to southeast Louisiana’s coastal wetlands, a jury ruled on Friday [April 4, 2025] following a landmark trial more than a decade in the making.
The case was the first of dozens of pending lawsuits to reach trial in Louisiana against the world’s leading oil companies for their role in accelerating land loss along the state’s rapidly disappearing coast. The verdict – which Chevron says it will appeal – could set a precedent leaving other oil and gas firms on the hook for billions of dollars in damages tied to land loss and environmental degradation...
The jury awarded $575 million to compensate for land loss, $161 million to compensate for contamination and $8.6 million for abandoned equipment. The amount earmarked for restoration exceeds $1.1 billion when including interest, according to attorneys for Talbot, Carmouche & Marcello, the firm behind the lawsuit.
Plaquemines Parish, the southeast Louisiana district which brought the lawsuit, had asked for $2.6 billion in damages...
How are oil companies contributing to Louisiana’s land loss?
The lawsuit against Chevron was filed in 2013 by Plaquemines Parish, a rural district in Louisiana straddling the final leg of the Mississippi River heading into the Gulf of Mexico, also referred to as the Gulf of America as declared by President Donald Trump.
Louisiana’s coastal parishes have lost more than 2,000 square miles (5,180 square kilometers) of land over the past century, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, which has also identified oil and gas infrastructure as a significant cause. The state could lose another 3,000 square miles (7,770 square kilometers) in the coming decades, its coastal protection agency has warned...
Thousands of miles of canals cut through the wetlands by oil companies weakens them and exacerbates the impacts of sea level rise. Industrial wastewater from oil production degrades the surrounding soil and vegetation. The torn up wetlands leave South Louisiana – home to some of the nation’s biggest ports and key energy sector infrastructure -- more vulnerable to flooding and destruction from extreme weather events like hurricanes...
Attorney Jimmy Faircloth, Jr., who represented the state of Louisiana, which has backed Plaquemines and other local governments in their lawsuits against oil companies, told jurors from the parish that Chevron was telling them their community was not worth preserving.
“Our communities are built on coast, our families raised on coast, our children go to school on coast,” Faircloth said. “The state of Louisiana will not surrender the coast, it’s for the good of the state that the coast be maintained.”
What does this mean for future litigation against oil companies?
Louisiana’s economy has long been heavily dependent on the oil and gas industry and the industry holds significant political power. Even so, Louisiana’s staunchly pro-industry Gov. Jeff Landry has supported the lawsuits, including bringing the state on board during his tenure as Attorney General.
Oil companies have fought tooth and nail to quash the litigation, including unsuccessfully lobbying Louisiana’s Legislature to pass a law to invalidate the claims. Chevron and other firms also repeatedly tried to move the lawsuits into federal court where they believed they would find a more sympathetic audience.
But the heavy price Chevron is set to pay could hasten other firms to seek settlements in the dozens of other lawsuits across Louisiana. Plaquemines alone has 20 other cases pending against oil companies.
The state is running out of money to support its ambitious coastal restoration plans, which have been fueled by soon-expiring settlement funds from the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, and supporters of the litigation say payouts could provide a much-needed injection of funds...
Attorneys for the parish said they hope that big payout will prompt more oil companies to come to the table to negotiate and channel more funding towards coastal restoration.
“Our energy is focused on securing appropriate verdicts and awards for every parish involved in these actions,” Carmouche said in a statement. “If we continue to be successful in our efforts, these parishes, and Louisiana, will have sent a clear message that Louisiana’s future must be built around a new balance between our energy industry and environmental necessities.”"
-via AP News, April 4, 2025
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motthe · 7 months ago
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Maybe some Young! Silco fic? (Or anything that you wanna do) I already loved his older version but his Young self in The last episodes got my heart in a grip 😭💖💖 He looks so full of dreams and maybe a little silly. Maybe with a energetic/chaotic significant other!
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young!silco also has me in a death grip don't worry. hope you enjoy this!!
warnings: fem!reader, violence, sexual innuendos, secondhand embarrassment for drunk rambling
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“It’s doable!”
“Doable and survivable are two very different things.”
Vander knocked his head against the metal backing of his mining gloves repeatedly, aching for the two of you to come to a compromise. The light of the fungi matched the tink tink tink of his patience running thin.
Crunching footsteps had him pausing, one eye opening to find Felicia pushing her helmet up higher on her head as she stared at you and Silco just beyond, still very much squabbling. She leaned on her hip, one hand rising to rest on it as she smiled down at Vander’s hunched form.
“Are they still arguing about the gap?” she whispered.
He groaned quietly instead of answering. It was all she needed.
“I can make it!” you protested, arms gesturing to the other side of the ravine. “I’ve jumped buildings twice the distance.”
“When you’re jumping buildings you can see the ground,” Silco argued, pointing to the darkness below. “We don’t know how long a fall that is, you absolute lunatic.”
“You’ve gotta hand it to her,” Felicia chuckled, taking up camp next to Vander. “No one else would even think of jumping across.”
“She’s an adrenaline junkie,” Vander muttered. “Jumping off shit is all she thinks about.”
“Would you—just let me—damn it, Sil!”
The shuffle of boots and clothes had both of their heads turning, watching with equally amused expressions as Silco passed by with you being half carried half dragged away from the ravine. Silco didn’t pay them a glance as he went. You kept stretching back the way you came, struggling but not truly putting all your energy into it. Felicia could tell. You loved being his center of attention for as long as possible, even if it kept you away from your wild pastimes. 
The sound of a horn echoed through the caves, sending the fungi white with the sound. The work day was finished. 
“Back to the last drop, then?” Felicia hummed, standing and offering a hand to the big man. He accepted it with a soft grin, following her out. The two of them watched Silco far ahead, who was now fully carrying you in your grieved state. You kept muttering you could have made it.
“Think they’ll ever get together?” she hummed, nudging Vander.
“Wish they would,” he sighed. “It was annoying years ago, now its just pitiful.”
She laughed, waving a hand at you when you pulled your head up from Silco’s shoulder to eye them. “Well, she’ll never do it. She’s convinced herself he’s too focused on our cause to ever settle down.”
“Some days I think the same thing,” Vander said, introspective when she glanced up at him, “others, I catch him looking at her. He doesn’t open up, barely does around us, but…”
“Disappears around her, yeah?” She smiled at him and he mirrored her, nodding.
Later that night, the Last Drop was bustling with the newest record added to the box. You’re dancing over chairs, running across the edge of the pool tables as people chant your name. Someone tossed a mug through the air and you caught it, swallowing the contents down and cheering with the rest before continuing on with dancing. 
Silco watched from his bar seat. He had cruel timing, turning his eyes back to his notebook when you pulled yourself away from the crowd to glance at him. To you, he was lost in his own world, but really he fell into yours quite easily. You were distracting. He perked up at the sound of your voice without meaning to, knew the outline of your body in his periphery. Abrasive and chaotic. You’re too much, too loud.
Too perfect for someone as withdrawn and stiff as him.
“Oh, heaven help me,” Vander grumbled, both hands on the bar as he stared at the scene. Silco paused to raise an eyebrow at him. “She just downed three shots in one.”
“How many does that make it now?” he questioned.
“Eight.”
Both of their heads dropped, knowing how the night would be going.
“All right, I give!” Felcia slammed a hand on the bar as she walked up, panting. “I can’t keep up with her. Gods. Where does she get the energy?”
Vander passed her a drink as Silco shrugged, music blaring all around them. Felicia scowled when she noticed his journal. 
“Oh, c’mon, Silco. Let loose for a bit!” she shouted over the din of the bar, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 
“If I did that, nothing would ever get done around here,” he returned, smirking as she rolled her eyes. 
The counter shook under them, the second bang of Vander’s fist sending both of them on high alert. Two meant trouble. 
Felicia spun around, Silco turned in his seat. There by the record player you were backed against the wall by a man, one arm caging you in while his fingers pinched your chin. The cold look in your eyes had a shiver streaking down Silco's spine. You were a storm like this and he’d been lost to it for years. 
The man said something that made you scoff, batting his hand away and sliding to get out from under him. As his hand grabbed your upper arm Silco realized he was no longer sitting. Even across the room he could read your lips.
“Last chance. Beat it,” you warned.
The man laughed and tugged you closer, it sent your knee right between his legs. When he bent over, Silco heard the crack as your fist met the man’s jaw. He hit the ground, dead weight. 
Fuck, he thought, hands curling into fists at his side. You were perfect.
You stumbled back a few steps. It seemed those shots had soaked in. You were cradling your hand as yells broke out, slow to turn as a couple of goons stood from a table nearby.
“Great,” Felicia puffed, pushing off the bar, “he had lackeys.”
Vander shouted as they ran at you, Silco was halfway to you when you dodged the first swing, putting you straight into the path of another. Your back hit the record player, a scratch disrupting the music. The entire bar turned, regulars rushing forward without second thought and jumping the goons. 
Silco went straight to you, mindful of the chair Felicia was brandishing overhead as she flew into the meat of the fight. 
“Let me see,” he said, sliding a hand under your jaw and tilting your head back. You were hunching, still holding that hand of yours to your chest. 
“Hey, Sil,” you slurred, grinning and wincing. Your lower lip was busted, the right side of your face already beginning to swell from the jaw up. “Can you believe that guy? Down in one hit, hah!”
“Still have all your teeth?” he asked, wiping the blood trailing from the corner of your mouth. 
“What? You want me to open wide for you?”
He ticked a brow, scowling through the heat that flashed through his stomach. 
“Come on, let’s get ice on that,” he muttered, wrapping an arm around you. You hummed happily, falling into his side. Even as drunk as you were, your feet barely stumbled as he led you to the basement door. He nodded to Vander who already had the same idea, coming around the back of the bar to pass him an ice pack and a clean rag. He thanked him.
“Take care of her,” Vander said, rubbing a hand over your back. You tossed the big man a smile before he returned to his station.
“Keep that on there,” Silco said to you, heart aching as you hissed at the touch of it. 
“I’ve got it,” you muttered, hand brushing his. He made sure you kept it pressed to your cheek before opening the door and helping you in first, careful of the stairs as he closed it behind him. The sounds of fighting and the skipping music was muffled as he led you into the bowels of the Last Drop, setting you down gently on the couch.
He reached for your hand, frowning when you turned away from him. 
“Let me see,” he said.
“It’s fine,” you grumbled, curling into the couch.
“I’d like to see that for myself,” he pushed, fingers gentle as they smoothed over your wrist. Your furrowed brow relaxed a bit, watery eyes trailing to him. “Let me see,” he asked again, softer.
You sighed, the weight of your arm settling into his palm as he moved to sit next to you. You hand shook in both of his, the skin of your knuckles ripped open and gushing red. When he attempted to move your pointer and middle fingers you whimpered, head falling into his shoulder.
He apologized, pulling one hand away to reach into his jacket. “It’s sprained. I’ll need to wrap it.”
“Sweet Sil,” you sighed, your good cheek rubbing against his shoulder as you brought your knees up, “always prepared for the worst.”
“I wouldn’t have to be if you weren’t constantly getting into trouble,” he hummed, pulling out a roll of bandages and beginning his work. You curled into him as he cleaned you up, tensing when he secured your bruised digits. As he tied the bandages off around your wrist, he sighed, holding your hand in his, thumb running over your skin. 
“M’sorry,” you sniffed.
He turned his head, a breath punched from his lungs as he saw tears slipping down your cheeks. The ice pack laid abandoned in your lap. 
“What are you apologizing for?” he murmured, brushing your hair out of your face. 
“I always make a mess,” you whispered, little gasps slipping. Each one was a bullet to his chest. He couldn’t stand seeing you cry. “I always annoy you.”
“No,” he murmured, arms stretching over you to pull you into his lap, “no, you don’t annoy me, pet.”
“Yes, I do,” you sobbed. “I get into t-trouble when I-when I just want you to look at me.”
Oh, Gods help him. He knew this was the alcohol talking but the hopeful flame in his heart was burning into a torch. He needed to calm you down and get you to bed. 
“I’m looking,” he said, lips grazing your forehead as he rubbed your back. “You don’t have to try so hard. I’m always looking.”
You sniffed and he grabbed the bloody rag, nudging the cleanest corner towards you to blow your nose. He chuckled when you groaned, curling deeper into his chest.
“Too drunk for this,” you mumbled. “Stupid shots.”
“Stupid shots, indeed,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Let's get you some water and go to bed.”
You whined, hiding your face in his neck. “Wanna stay here. M’warm.”
He sighed, settling into the couch. Eventually you would nod off. He’d carry you into bed, then.
“Hair’s nice.”
“What?” he chuckled, trying to look down at you, but it was impossible with you smushed up against him.
“Your hair,” you said, lips moving against his neck. “I like it when it’s bun. Hair frames your face nice. S’handsome.”
You’re going to hate yourself in the morning, he thought, holding back his laughter. You were never going to live this down and he wasn’t nearly nice enough to not tease you about this for the rest of your life. 
“Face hurts,” you sighed. He rubbed your calf, shushing you.
“Sleep, pet,” he murmured against your forehead. 
“You’ll stay?” you asked.
“I’ll stay,” he promised.
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tarotbydelilah444 · 6 months ago
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pac: your next relationship
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pile 1
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when will you meet
♡ next year
♡ could be as early as February 2025 to December 2025.
♡ Taurus season stood out in the reading. So pay attention to late April to early May. ♡ the months of Feb, March, April, May, July, August, September, November, and December could be of significance for your upcoming relationship.
♡ Valentine’s Day could be of significance.
♡ your next birthday
♡ next fall
♡ while traveling
♡ at school (college, graduate school, studying abroad)
♡ work / could be coworkers
the tower + ace of wands
You will definitely meet this person unexpectedly. You will not be expecting this person to enter into your life or even meet them. For some, you could even meet this person when a certain chapter in your life is shifting or ending in some way. Maybe, some of you didn’t have love on the brain, but then you randomly meet and got to know this person, and started to develop feelings for them. This may be a new person that is coming into your life that will immediately pique your interest and have you catching feelings quick, but you are being are being advised to slow down and get to know this person first. This connection may start off very passionate and fiery, so this could be a casual relationship that over time can develop into a romantic relationship. Your next boyfriend / partner may even be an ex or someone you’ve dated in the past. There is also a chance that your next partner will be a long-time friend of yours, so take it if it resonates.
astrological sign
This can apply to their sun, moon, and rising.
♡ Aries
♡ Leo
♡ Sagittarius
♡ Cancer
♡ Scorpio
♡ Pisces
♡ Taurus
♡ Virgo
♡ Gemini
♡ Libra
♡ Aquarius
physical attributes
page of pentacles • two of swords • two of cups
♡ Your next partner is very handsome, pretty, or attractive. They have damn near perfect facial symmetry, everything is balanced and proportionate. They could attract a lot of jealously due to their physical attractiveness.
♡ They could possibly be the same age as you, or even a couple of months to a year younger than you. They have a youthful appearance, but they are mature for their age. For some, this person could be a student, so they may attend the same school as you, or you will share a class with them. This can also apply in a work situation.
♡ They may be Asian or Caucasian.
♡ Wears prescribed glasses or may where glasses for aesthetic purposes. I channeled nerdy vibes for this person.
♡ An athletic or toned build. They may enjoy playing sports or actively into exercising.
♡ Average to Tall stature, not overtly short nor tall.
♡ Light or fair-skinned complexion
♡ They have an attractive or distinctive voice. This could be the tone of their voice or they could have an accent.
♡ Blue or Dark brown eyes. They could have big or expressive doe eyes that makes look innocent and sweet. Either way, their eyes stand out in some way.
♡ They could be wealthy or live a comfortable lifestyle. They may dress in luxury-branded clothing or an expensive taste in fashion. They could be into the artsy or alternative aesthetic.
♡ They may resemble their mother or a feminine figure in their lives. They have rounder and softer features for some.
♡ They have a passive or cool demeanor when you meet them. They seem like they are heavily in their thoughts or caught up in their little world. Although they may look uninterested or distracted at first glance, they have a serene and calming presence.
love languages
physical touch
♡ Your next partner will be so attracted to you when you first meet them. They find you to be so beautiful. I’m hearing “Only Girl (In the World”) by Rihanna. This person literally has eyes for you, and you only. Your next partner loves how feminine and how you present yourself. They will love your scent (this could be your natural pheromones or the type of perfumes you wear. They love how you dress and how everything fits perfectly on your body, complimenting your natural curves. They love the way you style your hair, specifically when it’s curly or sleekly styled. If you wear makeup, this person loves how you do your makeup, but they love it even better when you are freshed-face and in your natural state. Your next partner will not be able to take their hands off of you. They love the way your body feels against theirs and will always want you near them all of the time. You have this person hooked, everything about you triggers a primal reaction in them that makes it hard for them to constrain themselves and resist the urge to just have their way with you. Did I forget to mention? Your person loves PDA, they won’t have an issue with holding hands, stealing a kiss or two, or even grabbing and smacking your butt in public to let every “man” know that you are theirs and only theirs, quite territorial, they can be. They love to tease you a lot. I’m picking up that your person may have teased you relentlessly before the two of you began dating and this will continue even in the relationship. This seemed to be their way of showing you that they were into you from the start. They may give you a cute nickname that may be annoying at first, but it will eventually grow on you eventually as the two of you make it official. This person can be mischievous and playful that it will annoy the hell out of you, but it’s mainly for fun, and I think this will be one of the many reasons why you will fall in love with them because they keep on your toes and they know how to have fun. 
acts of service
♡ Your next partner will show their love through their actions. There is nothing that your boo won’t do for you. They want to be someone that you can depend on when you need help or just in general. If you were to live together, this person would fix things around the house. Clogged toilet? Flat tire? Oil change? Need help building something ? This person will do it with a smile on their face because they love to feel needed by you. I’m seeing a image of you on your tippy toes, frustrated and struggling to reach something on the top the shelf, and your person walks into the room seeing you struggling and lets out a small chuckle before coming over to lift you up and get whatever you need off the shelf. “You know you could’ve asked for my help, right.” You reply with a snarky remark,“You know I almost had it myself”. ”Sure, you did” in a sarcastic tone. Your next boyfriend could even help you with chores, making the bed up, taking the trash out, washing the dishes, doing laundry just to help you out a bit. 
words of affirmations
♡ Your next partner will make you laugh and smile all the time. They love to joke and tease you any chance they get. They will say the most corniest things that will make you cringe, but laugh at the same time. They absolutely will adore your smile and the sound of your laugh, it makes their heart skip a beat every time they hear you laugh and see you smile that beautiful smile of yours. They may be the first one to confess their feelings you before the two of you began officially dating. You and this person will text all of the time, they will send you “good morning” and “goodnight” text. Getting a text from really brightens this person’s day, even on their worst days, they can always look forward to seeing your name pop up in their phone as soon as they wake up. Your person enjoys talking to you, they feel like there are endless things that the two of you could talk about or even debate on, and they will never get bored or restless. They may even fuck up their sleep schedule to stay up for hours and hours to talk to you and may even like the idea of falling asleep on the phone with you. When you aren’t feeling your best, they will stop everything they are doing and call you to check in with you and reassure you in anyway they can because your happiness and peace of mind means so much to them. They always want to make you feel at ease and valued. They want you to come to them about your troubles to be that shoulder you cry on anytime you need. They want to be your safe space, that person that you can come to and talk to about anything and everything. I’m hearing your “secrets are my secrets and they will remain with me, always and forever”. I’m channeling the song, Diary, by Alicia Keys. 
personality knight of pentacles • six of wands
Self-assured  Intelligent  Reserved Friendly Charismatic  Popular  Competitive  Diligent  Resilient  Serene  Reliable  Trustworthy  Loyal 
♡ Your partner is down to earth. They have a very mellow and laid back personality, not much gets under their skin. They have a serene and “go with the flow” type of personality. They have two sides to their personality, they can seem reserved and quiet when you meet them, but the more you get to know them, they can quite fun and friendly. They are very intelligent. They enjoy learning new things and finding ways to improve their skills in some way. They enjoy a challenge and are determined to master anything they put their mind to. If they are a student, they could make straight As or be on the honor roll. “Most Likely to Succeed” is what I channeled. This person intends to go after everything that they set their mind to and become successful, whether it be school, their career path, or pretty much anything they want to achieve. They are extremely hardworking and diligent. This person doesn’t take shortcuts when it comes to their goals, they understand that everything takes time and patience and they have no problem in taking their time to get where they want to be. A very confident individual, indeed. They are very sure of themselves and what they bring to the table. They are also very respected and admired by many, there are many people that look up to your person or want to be on their level. They are quite charismatic and friendly. People naturally gravitate to them with ease. They could possibly be popular or they have a lot of friends. They could for some be the leader of their friend group, as many of their friends believe they are reliable, wise, loyal, and trustworthy. This person is very active. For some, this person could have ADHD (take it if it resonates). They may enjoy sports or even working out to keep themselves in shape. They are pretty health conscious, they try their best to maintain a sustainable routine and take care of their health. They can be very competitive. They enjoy simple activities like hiking, running, swimming, yoga, and other competitive sports. Finally, for some, they could be religious, or interested in learning other religious practices/ belief systems. I channeled Christianity, Catholicism, Wiccan, or New Age spiritualism.
qualities they like about you
♡ They like how you play hard to get, so when you meet this person, you may like them, but you will play mind games or act as if you aren’t into them, but I think this will make them like you even more and chase you until they can make you theirs. For some, this person always had a huge crush on you or vice versa.
♡ For some, they like the fact that you are into anime, manga, video games, K-pop, and J-pop. Some of you may like Asian culture, this could be cuisine or media (music, movies, tv shows).
♡ They like your voice. They find your voice to be extremely attractive in some way, if some of you like to sing, they think you have a beautiful voice. They can literally hear you talk forever and never get tired of hearing your voice. They also like how talkative you are. They like how they can talk to you for hours or how they can talk to you about many things without getting bored. They may like to debate with you, or even joke around with you. They find you to be very amusing and funny. 
♡ They like how family-oriented you are or that you are close to your family.
♡ They like how complex you are, they like how they cannot easily figure you out like others. They find you to be very mysterious and enjoy finding out more about who you are and even learning what is your interests. They may even ask you lots questions about yourself to figure you out who you really are. They are curious to know about you and are always amazed about what you reveal to them. You are so intriguing to this person.
♡ They enjoy being intellectually challenged/ stimulated by you. They like they you teach them about things they may not be aware of, or knowledge on. 
♡ For some, if you are into the occult, astrology, witchcraft, etc, they find this to be interesting. 
♡ They like your eyes. They love the color of your eyes, or even the way you look at them.
♡ They love how loving, caring, and compassionate you are. They love that you have such a big heart. They like how you are always willing to lend a helping hands to others in need. For some, they think you have healing abilities.
♡ They find you to be extremely beautiful. You check every single box on this person’s list. They are also sexually attracted to you as well.
♡ They like your calming, serene, patient demeanor. You seem to put them at ease and encourage them to come into alignment. For some, they like how you have a healing presence. 
♡ They like how creative you are, or your ability to dream big and go after your dreams. They like how you don’t need much reassurance and how you believe in yourself, no matter what. They think you are extremely talented. 
♡ They how optimistic, confident, intuitive, adventurous, frank, open-minded, independent, boisterous, and free-spirited you are. 
♡ They like how you have many people that are into you besides them. They could be jealous, if you have other romantic interests, but they like the idea of fighting for your heart and attention. 
♡ “One of the guys”. They like how you are able to get along with masculine energies, maybe you are a tomboy, and enjoy more masculine activities. They like how similar the two of you are. 
dynamic of this connection
*in keywords*
4th house synastry • “you’re my home” • cuddle buddies • bffs • anime • protective • “ I feel safe with you” • shits & giggles • childhood friends • soulmates • loyalty • making art together • Ghost (pottery scene) • long night talks • “I’ll go wherever you go” • “your secrets are safe with me” • “lean on me when you’re not strong” • spoiled brat • #1 fan • peanut butter to my jelly • match made in heaven • inseparable • I want to marry you • soft spot • crush on you • Love and Basketball (movie) • acceptance • We Belong Together by Mariah Carey • fitness couple • puppy eyes • let’s just stay home tonight• you cannot hide from me, I see right through you • diy crafts • Gorgeous by Jaden Smith • Bed Peace by Jhene Aiko ft Childish Gambino • healing childhood wounds • “you give me butterflies” • moving into together • 444 • sleepovers • in my arms is where you belong • Ohana means family, and family doesn’t get left behind • “I’m forever devoted to you” • golden retriever boyfriend  three of pentacles 
There is a theme of wanting to help each other out, to help the other become the best version of themselves. Constantly showing up for one another and putting in the effort to make this connection stand the test of time. Always wanting to be in alignment with each other. “We are a team”. It’s all or nothing. The three of pentacles gives me the energy of wanting to build from the ground up. This can talk about a desire for you and this person to build this relationship from level 1 to level 10 or build each other up. There is a strong friendship vibe that will be prevalent in your next relationship. Friends to Lovers for sure. You and this person have so much in common and the energy is so warm, loving, and carefree when channeling this connection. This is the feeling that you feel when you develop feelings for your first crush, maybe this person could be your first crush / love or vice versa. 
channeled song
pile 2
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when will you meet
♡ for some, you may resonate with some of the messages in pile one, if you picked this pile. You will also meet this person next year.
♡ within the next three to six months
♡ the months of February, April, September, or November could be of significance.
♡ Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius season could also be of significance.
♡ you could meet this person by your or their next birthday.
♡ traveling, could be a family trip or a birthday trip.
♡ take it if it resonates, but your next partner could be someone that you had / have children with or they may have a child from a previous relationship. This could definitely be someone that you dated in the past and you thought you and this person were done indefinitely, but this person could resurface in the upcoming year.
♡ you could be introduced to your next partner through a feminine energy, this could be a friend, mother, grandmother, etc.
♡ meeting at school, specifically graduate school or somewhere that requires learning a trade or skill of some sort. you will work closely with this individual.
♡ in the workplace, this could be a coworker for some.
two of pentacles • eight of pentacles • five of pentacles • temperance • five of swords 
You will definitely meet this person at work, a place of business, or school. You could meet this person when you are seeking some type of stability in your life, specifically if this is related to your finances or career. You may be struggling financially and you are trying desperately to find stability through your challenges. You may even be heavily focused on your career or studies when this person enters into your life. I’m intuitively feeling like you are just wanting to focus on yourself and what brings you harmony, balance, and peace. I also intuitively feel that you may believe / feel that “love” is a distraction or you just don’t have time for romance. I’m hearing one specific lyric from Redemption by Drake, “Relationships slowin me down, they slow down the vision”. You may not be where you want to be in your life, maybe you have a lot of goals and expectations for yourself that want to fulfill and you refuse to be distracted or disappointed by love interest / love in general. For others, you may be desperate for a relationship, but you may feel unworthy of love or even losing faith that you will find love. “Will I ever find love”? That’s what I channeled for a small group of you. I sense that some of you want to give up and believe that you are destined to be alone, but I am channeling that you won’t be alone and someone will come in, at the right time. Just because it doesn’t happen right now, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen eventually. You are being advised to be patient and trust in divine timing when it comes to matters of the heart. You are loved and you are meant to be loved. There is someone out there for you pile two, you must be patient and not lose hope. You are also being encouraged to stop self-sabotaging behaviors when it comes to love. 
astrological sign
This can apply to their sun, moon, or rising.
♡ Scorpio
♡ Cancer
♡ Pisces
♡ Aries
♡ Leo
♡ Sagittarius
♡ Libra
♡ Taurus
♡ Capricorn
♡ Virgo
♡ Gemini
♡ Aquarius
physical attributes
death • knight of wands • ace of cups • strength • ace of wands
♡ Your next partner’s nationality or ethnicity differs from yours. I am channeling Middle Eastern or Mexican.  ♡ They could have green, hazel, or blue eyes. Their eyes have a very intense or sleep appearance. Kind of eyes that are hauntingly beautiful. They could have almond or hooded- shaped eyes. They could have bags under their eyes for some, but their eyes stand out in some way, whether it’s the color, shape, or their gaze. I also channeled that this person may have “bedroom eyes” or siren eyes.
♡ They are quite big or they have a muscular body type. They may bulk up pretty fast or able to gain muscle easily without much effort. This person could be a workout junkie, as in they love to workout or find different activities that allow them to keep them in shape or improve their strength and endurance specifically cardio, wrestling, bodybuilding, high intensity workouts, (HIIT), calisthenics, and boxing. They have broad shoulders, strong and muscular arms, a six pack, muscular back, and nice strong calves. They take great pride in their physical appearance. ♡ They could have light brown to jet black hair. ♡ A brown to darker complexion. ♡ They have an intimidating and mysterious aesthetic or presence. You could possibly feel like they can be unapproachable or standoffish when you first meet them. If your partner is a female or resonate with the feminine energy, they embody the “dark feminine” or “femme fatale” archetype, think of Lana Del Rey, Rihanna, Naomi Campbell, Alexa Demie, Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, or Monica Bellucci. If your partner is a male or resonates with the masculine energy, they are so fucking hot, like mouthwatering hot. They have a strong presence that is hard to ignore. They embody confidence in their stance and how they command the attention in every room they walk into. They are “sex” on legs, many people find them to be physically and sexually attractive, like they have people that secretly fantasize about sleeping with them. Highly desirable and sexualized by many. This person has a strong masculine presence, they know that they are that “guy” or “girl”. They always look or seem like they are on guard, or highly aware of their surroundings. People view your next partner as intimidating or even intense, to some degree, some people may be afraid to approach them because they could look “mean” or like they are going to curse someone out (lol). They have this aloof or air of detachment to their physical appearance, almost as if they are bored or uninterested in their surroundings that makes people even more intrigued by them. Your person reminds me of a panther, they are beautiful and majestic creatures, yet they are very dangerous and wild, if you get too close. I intuitively heard, “Access Denied”, they are very protective of their space and exclusive in who they associate themselves with. They may even attracted a lot of jealously from other people and this can explain why they are protective over their energy. 
♡ Pretty girl or boy privilege, as well. They are conventionally attractive. They have perfectly clear skin, pretty white teeth, charming eyes, medium to full lips, symmetrical to angular facial features. They embody both angelic and devilish look, especially if they have water and air or fire placements.  ♡ They have a beautiful and strong bone structure. Sharp jawline, high cheekbones, long or square chin. Like you could literally sharpen knives with their features. They should be on the cover of Vogue magazine and every billboard. #SculptedbytheGods
♡ They could have tattoos and piercings for some. ♡ Sorry not sorry, but your next partner is packing downstairs or it’s very pretty. Take it if it applies.
♡ Your next partner has a distinctive style of walking or they could walk pretty fast. ♡ Pretty random, but your next partner looks so pretty / handsome when they cry, or they tend to show their emotions on their face without even noticing. ♡ Your next partner could like darker colors, specifically black. Black could be their favorite color. It’s almost as if they like to look threatening or intimidating to other people. I channeled the “bad boy” or James Dean vibes for some, so they could be into the whole “rugged bad boy” aesthetic like leather, PVC, ripped jeans, simple black tee, and hoodies. Edgy aesthetic. They could also like clothes that accentuates their muscles / curves. 
♡ This may apply for some, but this person could be quite spiritual. They may like to wear crystals, hamsa, evil eye, and other spiritual related jewelry to protect them from negative energies.
love languages
gift giving
♡ Your next partner will be very generous when it comes to showing their love for you. They will spoil the hell out of you. They will enjoy showering you in gifts or buying you things that they know that you will appreciate. They will spare no expense to show you how much they love and care deeply for you. Your next partner goes all the way out when it comes to expressing their undying love for you. They are always listening to what you desire even when you think they aren’t and pay attention to the tiniest of details to ensure that you feel most appreciated. They can be quite an undercover romantic, even if they don’t express it. Every gift they gift to you, whether it’s grandiose or not, they put a lot of thought and effort into it. It’s not just a gift to your person to buy your love, but more of a token of their appreciation and gratitude to you. They want to always make you feel special, no matter the occasion. Who needs a gift on Valentine’s Day when your person will treat everyday like it’s Valentine’s Day? Whatever She Want by Bryson Tiller. Fuck princess treatment, it’s giving “Queen Treatment”. They want to give you the world, I’m channeling, “luther” by Kendrick Lamar ft SZA. They feel like you deserve everything because you bring so much love and happiness in their life like never experienced before. I get the vibe that your person loves surprises, they love the idea of planning something special for you, just to see your reaction. Whether it be a luxurious getaway to another country, buying you that item you been eyeing and talking about nonstop, or delivering a bouquet of roses to your job with a lovely note attached, your next future partner will be applying pressure and never miss an opportunity to make you feel loved and special. They want to make harder for the next person to please you. This person when they officially ask you to be their girlfriend / boyfriend, they will go all out, like I’m legit picturing in my head, roses everywhere, heart shaped balloons, a bouquet, your favorite snacks, candles, will you be my gf balloons, and luxurious gifts. The whole nine!
quality time
♡ Your next partner will anticipate spending quality time with you. They will always make sure that it’s enough time and attention placed on you and nurturing the connection. I get the vibe that your next partner may get sad or may have separation anxiety when they are away from you too long. They love having you near and in reach. “When you go away, I hate the distance” is what I intuitively heard. They don’t want to be separated from you for more than a hour, like this person will legit hop on a flight to be wherever you are, just to close the distance between you. For some, this may apply, if you are in a long-distance relationship with this person. This person might be a bit of a homebody, so their idea of “quality time” would be ordering takeout, watching a movie / catching up on y’alls favorite show, and cuddling on the couch. They will plan dates where it’s just the two of you, enjoying each other’s presence and connecting on an intimate level. Intimacy is very important to your person, they enjoy having deep conversations with you and lots of eye contact, no distractions, just the two of you focused and getting lost simultaneously into one another to rekindle that initial spark once in a while. There is a emphasis on “milestones”. Your next partner wants to continuous see this relationship elevate and evolve over time. It seems as they want to grow and build a legacy together, this could be eventually starting a family, marriage, purchasing a dream home, and even making money together. “Generational Wealth” is what I channeled. Your next partner wants to accomplish their goals, dreams, and aspirations while you are by their side and vice versa. I’m intuitively hearing, “when you win, I win”. This person wants to share their success with you and wants you to share your success with them. They want to be there for you through the good and the bad times, never wanting to give up on you and constantly fighting for the stability and longevity of this connection. Your next partner will aim to ensure that your needs are always being met, sometimes, even sacrificing their needs and wants to put yours before their own. There is a sense of pride they feel in you being their partner. Overall, I think that your partner loves planning and talking about the future with you.
acts of service
♡ “Actions speak louder than words”. Your next partner lives, breathes, and eats this old saying. This person believes that love should be shown through actions because words can be quite deceptive sometimes. They aim to always show up for you as a partner and be consistent in how they express their love for / to you. Your partner is not much for words anyways, so they prefer to express their love through doing things for you or that they know that you will appreciate. This could be anything from doing chores, running errands, making you a cup of coffee in the morning, cooking, or basically anything that will make your day run smoothly. You will never have to beg or complain for this person to help you out, they will do it in a heartbeat. “Cater to You” by Destiny’s Child, came to mind. Your next partner is quite selfless and considerate of you and your needs, like there is nothing in the world that your partner won’t do for you. They are by far the definition of a “provider”.  They know their purpose as a partner is to provide and protect you in every way. I’m seeing when the two of you go out for date night, they will always pay the bill, no discussion. They will literally give you the death stare, if you so much as even try it, lol. They can be quite a traditionalist. Your partner wants to take care of you and reaffirm to you that you can rely on them and that you don’t have to do everything on your own, not that she/he doesn’t think you aren’t capable, but they want to you to be aware that they are there, if you need help with anything.
personality king of wands • judgment • wheel of fortune
Independent
Confident 
Intuitive 
Cautious 
Pretentious
Brooding 
Analytical 
Observant 
Resilient
Wise
Adaptable 
Unpredictable 
Philosophical 
Introspective
♡ Your next partner is very intuitive. Their intuition never leads them in the wrong direction and their inklings are almost always right about everything. They can easily pick up when someone is being deceptive and can easily see through fuckery. “You can’t pull the wool over my eyes”. Your next partner could be psychic, they are able to see things before they happen, for some. They could even be spiritual, they are tapped in with the spiritual world and are heavily protected, so anyone that tries to harm them, their guides will not hesitate to seek justice on their behalf.
♡ Your next partner is quite resilient. They may have going through some struggles in life, but these struggles taught them valuable lessons and they been able to mature and grow from these experiences. They are pretty adaptable to change because they understand that change is necessary and inevitable. Although they gained inner strength through their struggles, they may have a difficult trusting or even opening up to people. They can be heavily guarded when you meet them and it may take them a little while for them to trust and be vulnerable with you, so give them time. Underneath that tough exterior is a pure and genuine soul that they feel like they must protect the remaining parts of themselves that are “pure” and untainted. Wow, your next partner is pretty deep and intense.
♡ This person is constantly evolving and reinventing themselves. They devote themselves to becoming a better version of themselves each and every day. “Who I am?” A soul searcher, they are constantly searching for who they are at the core, looking within to discover their inner truth. Your next partner lives a lot in their mind, it’s like an endless maze of trying to understand themselves and their purpose in life. They are a deep thinker for sure, almost to the point where they overanalyze and question everything. They despise shallowness, they always are searching for the truth and focused on the grand scheme of things. They are very observant and great listener, often paying attention to everyone and everything that surrounds them. There are so many layers to this person’s personality that you will never really be able to decipher the mystery of them. “I let you see, what I want you to see”. Just when you think you have them figured out, they will do something that will surprise or catch you off guard. They like to play chess, not checkers. This person is very strategic and wise in how they move through life, they know how to play the game, and they play it well. Overall, this person has good judgment and a great head on their shoulders. 
♡ Your next partner enjoys learning new things. It can range from historical events to cultures to spirituality, but this can really be anything. They can be quite pretentious or a bit of a know it all, which can sometimes piss people off, but they don’t really care. They may like to surprise people by the things that they know. 
qualities they like about you
♡ This person likes the way you move your body or your level of flexibility. This may apply to you, if you like to dance as a hobby. They think you are an amazing dancer. For others, this person may like the way you walk, you may walk like a model or walk with confidence. I’m picking up nice posture.
♡ They like the fact that you are very active, even if you aren’t athletic. They like the way your body looks, some of you may be very fit. They could also like that you have various  hobbies that you engage in. 
♡ They like how you are forgiving. You aren’t one to hold onto a grudge or resentful to others or situations. You don’t allow things to control you, but rather go with the flow or the nature of things. They also like your ability to cut off people, places, and things that no longer serve you with ease.  They like how you speak your mind or stand up for yourself when it comes to things you want. 
♡ They like how cautious you are and your innate ability to pay attention to people’s red flags or identify toxic traits in people before getting involved with them.
♡ They like your childlike nature. They think you are quite fun to be around and enjoy being in your presence. They like your innocence, or how naive you seem. They feel like they must protect these characteristics about you from people that may want to take advantage of you. They may like how good you are with children, for some. For some, they like how youthful you look, so you could look younger than your physical age.
♡ They like how you are content with being alone or introverted. You don’t need any outside validation to receive approval and acceptance You are perfectly comfortable and at peace in your own solitude. 
♡ They like your taste in music. They think that the two of you have similar tastes in music, for some. 
♡ They like your handwriting. They may think you have beautiful or a unique style of writing, or they could think you are a talented and amusing storyteller. 
♡ They like being in your presence. Your presence brightens their day. They hate to be away from you too long. this person literally gets butterflies whenever they are around you. Weak by SWV. They like how fun and exciting you are to be around. 
♡ They like the sound of your voice. You may have an accent for some, if so they like the way you pronounce certain words. You might talk a little fast, but they find it to be super cute. They love communicating with you, they find you to be inquisitive, charming, and funny af.
♡ They like how you carry yourself. They like how eloquent  and well-mannered you are. They like that you have high standards and morals. They like that you have respect for yourself. 
♡ They like how trustworthy and loyal you are. They like that your intentions are clear and honest from the jump. They like that they can rely on you in tough times and know that you will always have their back when they’re in need.
♡ They like your sense of style. You have an impeccable style when it comes to fashion. They love how creative and original you are when it comes to your fashion choices. I’m channeling “old money” aesthetic for some. They think you can make anything look good.
♡ They like that you get along with their family, or how family oriented you are. They could also like that you want a big family one day. 
♡ If you have curly or wavy textured hair, they like the texture of your hair. They like the wild and untamed look. 
♡ They find you to be incredibly attractive, both inside and outside.
♡ They find your complexion to be very beautiful, you may have a brown or darker complexion. They love the way your skin glows. You could always looked like a glazed donut. I channeled Shea Butter Baby by Ari Lennox ft J.Cole
♡ They like your back area and your butt. You may have a big butt or an attractive back. For some, you could have a back dimples, and they find it super attractive. They also find your body to be appealing, for some, you could thick or you can be a bit curvaceous.
♡ If you have piercings, they like your piercings, whether it’s on your body or face. 
♡ This person could like that you have a lot of haters or people that are envious of you or the things you have. 
♡ They admire how resilient you are. They like how you face challenges, but you never give up or allow it to bring you down. They like the “warrior or fighter” energy within you. They like they you always seem to handle challenges with grace and confidence. They truly admire that about you. 
♡ They like that you are self assured and that you believe in yourself most of all. You know your worth and how much you bring to the table. They have complete faith that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. 
♡ They like how enigmatic and sensual you are, and then closed off and reserved the next minute. They are like a “moth to flame”. They like how you tease them or make them work for your attention. 
♡ They like how indecisive you can be. They like how you never really know what you want sometimes. 
dynamics of this connection
*in keywords*
8th house synastry • hidden feelings • death & rebirth • “don’t run for me” • “I’ve meet you in every lifetime” • runner & chaser dynamic • “time is never on our side” • 12th house synastry • “they don’t want to see us together” • mentor & pupil • familiarity• purification • transformation • karmic connection • twin flames • “ you set my soul on fire” • intensity • resolving karmic debts • Fire & Desire by Rick James ft Teena Marie • surrender yourself to me • Tessa & Hardin • “don’t you trust me” • outgrowing to come together • “my life will never be same, since you walked into it” • “I keep looking for you in every person” • jealously • yin & yang • power struggles • Him & I by G-Eazy ft Halsey • Bonnie & Clyde 03 • separated, but never truly apart • souls longing for each other • tethered • the eyes Chico, they never lie • intensity & passion • Kundalini awakening • light & shadow • Catwoman & Batman• sexual tension • til death do us part • obsessed with me • flashbacks • see you in my dreams • Telepatia by Kali Uchis • i love you, i hate you • intimidation • forbidden fruit • unbreakable love • sacral chakra • mirrorring each other • illusions • Mr. and Mrs. Smith • life-changing • “who’s wants that perfect love, anyway anyway, cliche, cliche, cliche” • are my feelings one-sided”• Cloak & Dagger • Love Don’t Live Here Anymore by Rose Royce • “I think about you all the time” • “I belong to you, beloved” • Edward & Bella • the couples that cast spells together, stay together • “let’s escape to the dream world” • healing each other’s soul • passion marks • passionate and intense make out sessions • chemistry off the map • “many try to define our love, but only we can define and understand our love” • Lilith • evil eye • I Miss You by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes 
death
This is pretty heavy and intense energy that I channeled for this connection, and it even quite ironic that we have the death card to symbolize the dynamic of this connection. All I could pick up before I started shuffling was 8th house / Scorpio / Plutonic and 12th house / Pisces / Neptunian energy and to be honest, I wasn’t surprised at all. Buckle up because you in for one hell of a ride when you encounter this person. You and this person will not be the same once you enter into this connection, the life you knew will be only a distant memory that will leave questioning, if you were living a lie the whole time. This is definitely a karmic connection with that 8th house and 12th house energy being so loud in the reading, mostly the 8th house. You and this person shared many lifetimes together and decided to reincarnate in this life to heal trauma and wounds to finally be together. The death card symbolizes the ending and the beginning of something. A cycle of pain, trauma, and suffering must come to an end in order to experience an everlasting love of a lifetime that encourages both parties to grow and evolve together. You and this person have come together to heal karmic lessons and cycles of suffering, betrayal, and loss that followed you into this life. Will you be able to break the cycle or repeat another lifetime of sorrow and despair? This connection could start off as a hidden crush or someone not being totally upfront about their feelings for the other person. There is an intense desire to get to know the other on a deeper and intimate level, but being too intimidated to approach. It’s almost as one party or both parties feel the intensity and magnetic pull towards each other, but are too afraid or overly cautious to fully surrender to what this connection can become. Healing trauma and letting go is a repetitive theme when I channeled messages for this pile. This connection can serve as a deep healing experience for you and them, but it requires the both of you to surrender to change and the need to control. The two you must learn how to rely on each other and bring harmony into this connection without becoming codependent or allowing ego / pride take control of this connection. 
channeled song
pile 3
Tumblr media
when will you meet
♡ next year
♡ the months of March, July, August, September, and October are of significance.
♡ be on the lookout for the summer months.
♡ Taurus, Virgo, Pisces season could be of significance.
♡ after a breakup, once you heal and let go of a past relationship.
♡ neighbors. You and this person could live in the same neighborhood or apartment complex.
♡ at a concert, music festival, opera / symphony, theater performance, or movies.
♡ a retreat, rehabilitation center, hospital, clinic, or group therapy session.
♡ online or dating app
♡ a church or sanctuary
♡ med school, if you are in school.
♡ a job event
♡ a local bar, lounge, café, club. For some, they could be a singer or musician.
♡ a park, museum, or aquarium
♡ traveling, this could be long distance or short distance travel.
♡ for some, if you are interested in reconciliation with an ex, there is a new person that will entering into your life soon.
♡ intuitively heard, “My Best Friend’s Brother by Victoria Justice, so this person could be your friend’s sibling (sister or brother), or if you have siblings, this could be a friend of your sibling.
♡ a place that you frequent daily or required to make some type of public appearance.
six of pentacles • four of swords • page of cups • six of cups 
Your next relationship will happen when you are healing from something. This could be something related to your health or after coming out a previous relationship. Apply it to your situation as it fits. Maybe you are used to over-giving when it comes to your previous relationships, putting in more than what you receive, and this left you feeling empty and lonely in your previous relationship. There was no limit to your  generosity and kindness, yet i went unnoticed for too long, often leaving you to pour from an empty cup. I’m hearing intuitively, Buy A Heart by Nicki Minaj. I feel as you had no choice but to put yourself first for once and take a hiatus from love and give yourself the time and space for your fragile heart to heal. You may wonder why you haven’t met your next partner or even wonder if you will ever find love again, and the answer is yes, but first, you need(ded) to heal and get clear in what you want in a partner and in a relationship. Have you ever heard the saying, “love comes in unexpected ways”, well, this saying applies to you, and simply means that love will come in when you least expect it, not when you plan or constantly searching for it. For some, you have been manifesting love or even getting little snippets of your next partner from the Universe through your dreams or intuitive downloads. You are being encouraged to trust the process and allow everything to unfold naturally because it will come in due timing. This is the time to prepare yourself for what is to come, and trust me, it’s worth waiting for. You are being encouraged to give this new person a chance because this could be the love of a lifetime. 
astrological sign
This can apply to their sun, moon, or rising.
♡ Pisces
♡ Taurus
♡ Virgo
♡ Capricorn
♡ Gemini
♡ Libra
♡ Leo
♡ Aquarius
♡ Cancer
♡ Aries
♡ Scorpio
♡ Sagittarius
physical attributes the hierophant • two of swords • the empress • king of swords
Disclaimer: I had quite a hard time shuffling for your next partner’s physical attributes, but I got one message to “stop looking”. The divine does not want you to know too many details about your next partner, or they want you to stop focusing on the outward appearance when it comes to love, but focus on the internal nature of your next partner. I also intuitively feel like your next partner will not be what you expect or may differ from what you prefer in terms of preferences.
♡ This person is very handsome or beautiful. You will be physically attracted to them when you meet them.
♡ They can be older than you or they have a mature demeanor when you initially meet them. They carry themselves with grace and respect. 
♡ They have animated expressions, or the way they express themselves is very animated, it will be as if they are acting or putting on some type of facade, but they have a very lively and expressive appearance. They could talk with their hands a lot or they have very noticeable facial expressions. They have very expressive eyes that glimmer and shines when they are interacting with others.
♡ They could identify as biracial for some, so they are of Black & White heritage. For some, they could be Hispanic / Latino / Latina. 
♡ For some, they could have a speech impediment. They could also talk either too fast or slow. 
♡ They could have a shorter stature.
♡ They could have beauty marks, freckles, or moles on their face or throughout their body. 
♡ If this is a female, she has a curvaceous or more rounded features. She could have big breast, nice and wide hips, thick thighs, perky and rounded butt, back dimples, and a bit of a stomach. They could possibly have the ideal “hourglass” figure. If this is a male, he can have a slender or stocky build, yet can also be quite muscular as well. They have nice and toned legs as well, if not, they could have longer legs with a shorter torso. They could also have quite broad shoulders and even big pecs as well. Also, he may have a prominent Adam’s apple, or something significant about their neck (long or short neck).
♡ They could have darker hair, mostly dark-brown hair or jet black. This person’s hair definitely stands out in some way, this could be the texture, color, luminosity, or style of their hair. They may have curly or wavy textured hair. Their hair is pretty thick or they tend to opt for more natural styles, I’m channeling an Afro, braids, or locs for some. I also channeled a widow’s peak / Eddie’s point. They could possible have a bigger head or broader forehead. 
♡ They may have tattoos.
♡ They have attractive hands. This could be their fingers or the size of their hands. They could have quite veiny arms and hands.  ♡ They may have a beautiful smile and charming dimples. They could also have full pouty lips. ♡ Thick eyebrows or they have very intense & sharp brows. This could apply to the shape of the brows. ♡ Brown or Darker complexion ♡ They could have delicate and dainty features for some. A pointed chin, expressive and bright eyes, and mischievous, yet friendly smile. ♡ They are pretty well-groomed and take care of their outer appearance. They pay attention to little details when it comes to their style or how they choose to present themselves. If this is a female, she could be into the “clean girl” aesthetic. If this is a male, he prefers a more polished and refined style regardless of their personal aesthetic. This person is very stylish and knows exactly how to present themselves well. They are experimental when it comes to their style but nothing too extreme. They smell very good whether they are female or male. If you are attracted to females, she may opt for mor floral or sweet fragrances, and if you are attracted to males, he may opt for more intense spicy or woody / earthy scents. They may like to wear jewelry, mostly necklaces, bracelets, or watches. ♡ They have great posture.
♡ They have a calm and composed demeanor, always appearing sure and confident in themselves. They rarely allow their emotions to show on their face. ♡ Overall, this person may enjoy changing their appearance more than often, so don’t be surprised, if they look different every time you see them.
love languages
physical touch
♡ Your next partner is definitely frisky. They are pretty playful when it comes to you. They get all gitty inside whenever they are in your presence. From the moment they met you, they’ve wanted to kiss you and make you theirs. They caught case of the Love Jones for you, they became so enchanted by you the moment the two of you locked eyes, and have been hooked ever since. You bring out a playful and youthful energy out of them that they have never experienced before. They feel like a kid on Christmas Day when you are around them.  I Want You Around by Snoh Aalegra came to mind. I know I sound repetitive, but you truly make this person feel like a little kid again, you make their inner child feel safe and loved. They love giving you nice and tender warm hugs and embraces. They just love the idea of being wrapped up and around you. It’s almost kinda like a safety blanket for them. Initially as they get to know you better, they will be fighting the urge to not kiss you or make any premature moves on you. They don’t want to come off as a creep or weird, so they would rather allow you to make the first move, but they will try so fucking hard to resist those urges until you give them the green light. I am seeing an image of you giving this person a hug and they stand there in complete shock for a minute or two, trying to gain recollection of what is happening. “Is this really happening, right now”? OMG, this is really happening right now, I’ve been dreaming about this moment for so long”! Your partner’s mind and heart will be racing 99 miles per hour. Remember that episode of Tom and Jerry, when Tom fell head over heels for Toodles Cat. This will literally be how your next partner feels about you. They will be fangirling inside the whole time, and then try to play it off cool afterwards, but they will be over the moon much later, unable to stop thinking or dreaming about that heated encounter between the two of you, even going as far to think of the next time if they get you alone. This person literally worships you and the ground that you walk on. You are literally their dream “girl” or “guy”.  That clip of Rihanna saying, “I’m in love, I’m obsessed” just came to mind . This person doesn’t play about you at all, they are all about you. They literally have hearts in their eyes whenever they see you or even when they hear your name. This person most definitely has sexual fantasies about you, just imagining all the unsavory things they want to do to you and with you turns them on. Fuck Me & Feed Me by Rendezvous At Two is what I’m channeling. They want to sweep you off your feet and rock your world at the same time. They just want to please and pleasure you in any way that you want them to. Everything about you turns this person on. They are like a mad dog in heat in your presence. One whiff of you and they go crazy. They love the way you smell and the way you feel, like you feel so soft when you are in their grasp. It’s almost too much for this person to bear. 
quality time
♡ “I love having you around”. Your next partner simply loves being around you. They look forward to the next time they get to see you and just getting to know you better each and every day. Getting to know your likes and dislikes. Your quirks. What hobbies you’re into. Hangouts will be frequent in the early stages of this relationship. If you see me, then you see “him or her”. They will act as your shadow, never too far behind and always down for whatever shenanigans you’re into. The reason behind this is because they enjoy spending time with you. They would drop any and everything in a heartbeat, just to tag along with you. Intuitively, I got the image of Shrek and Donkey in my head. Life may have been mundane and monotonous before you came into their lives, and ever since, you have given them a purpose and something to look forward to. A reason to smile and be more optimistic about life. I channeled “Someone to Love by Jon B. Your next person truly cherishes every second, minute, and hour they spend with you, never wanting any moment with you to stop or go to waste. They will constantly find new things for you and them to get into. They are very spontaneous, always thinking outside of the box just to keep you satisfied and by their side. Every moment with them is like an adventure. Your next partner is pretty much down for anything, so you will never have to worry about getting them out of their comfort zone. Visiting a new food spot in town, check! Booking flights in a heartbeat, check! Getting matching tattoos, check! Going skydiving, check! It’s truly never a dull moment when you and them are together. Every moment will be one for the books.
words of affirmations
♡ There is not enough words in all the languages that exist in the world that can express how much I feel for you. The love that your next partner has for you runs deep. Deep in a way that it is difficult for you and them to fully comprehend, but all they know is that their feelings for you are genuine and come straight from the heart. Not just words, but actions to follow behind it. They are applying nothing, but pressure.  I do see at first, your person might be a bit hesitant to confess their feelings for you in the beginning stages of this connection because they want to take everything slow and don’t want to come off to strong when it comes to their feelings for you, so they will try to keep everything at a moderate pace for a while, but deep down, this person is just bursting with so much love for you under  the surface that it’s almost unbearable for them to keep it under control and not confess their feelings all in one setting. “I loved you from the very first day, I laid eyes on you”. They have nothing, but deep and genuinely love for you and they can’t wait til they can fully open up to you. As the two of you become closer, this person will start to allow themselves to be more emotionally vulnerable with you and honest about their feelings for you than they did previously. They usually are skeptical about who they share their feelings and thoughts with, out of fear of appearing weak or being taking advantage of, but it will be something about you that makes them feel safe enough for them to let their guard down and open themselves fully with no fear. I’m hearing, Comfortable by H.E.R. They want you to be there safe space, just as much as they will be yours in return. You have no idea how safe, secure, and happy you’ve made this person, and they will devote each and everyday telling you how much you mean to them. 
acts of service
♡ Your next partner is a provider and protector. Whatever you need or want, they will always make sure that you want for nothing. “As long as you got me, I got you”. Your next partner knows that you are capable of doing things on your own, but they just feel the need to take the pressure off or make things a tad bit easier for you in anyway they can. They take pride in taking care of you because it makes them feel good and needed. They want you to view them as your “hero” or “knight in shining armor”, it gives them as sense of purpose to be of service to you, it’s their way of showing how devoted they are to you and that you can count on them in both good and bad times. Your next partner brings or values stability and structure into the relationship. Your person is old school, they prefer to take the lead in the relationship, being able to guide and mold you to becoming a better version of yourself. “We grow together”. They want to be your safe space and your solace in times of need. I intuitively heard, Safety Net by Ariana Grande. They want to be a part of your healing journey, aiding by providing love and support to help you heal from any pain, traumas, and past mistakes that you suffered from. “I’m here to heal, not hurt you”. This explains why your next partner is so protective of you and wants to give you everything you’ve yet to receive. What your next partner offer is the real deal, they want to offer you accountability, respect, fairness, balance, and equality. All the things you have could’ve ever wished and prayed for is wrapped into this person. 
personality
queen of pentacles • two of swords • nine of pentacles
Indecisive 
Modest 
Creative 
Empathetic 
Generous 
Down to Earth
Caring 
Loving 
Humble
Reliable 
Diplomatic 
Self-Sufficient
Gracious
Adventurous
♡ Your person has a very big heart. A heart of gold. They are very loving and compassionate towards others, maybe sometimes a little too compassionate, but it’s just that they want to share their love and kindness with every person they come across. They are very empathetic and feel things deeply than most people and can sometimes take on other people’s problems and feelings as their own, which can be a bit overwhelming for them. It is vital that they learn how to create healthy boundaries with others, so they don’t feel depleted or get taken advantage of. They just love to help people and make people feel special and loved. This person is really an angel!
♡ They are a very creative and imaginative individual. This person is artistically inclined and they enjoy the arts, specially singing, dancing, drawing, or painting. They can gain inspiration from anywhere and can turn nothing into something beautiful and exceptional. 
♡ They are very peaceful and diplomatic. They absolutely detest drama and conflict, often trying their best to either avoid it or come up with a solution to the problem to bring peace and harmony over the situation. They are like the “peacemaker” of their friend group or family unit. “The glue of their relationships”. They are the type of friend that everyone goes to for advice on how to move forward. They love to play Devil’s advocate, often trying to see the pros and cons from each side rather choosing one specific side to avoid drama. “Can everyone just get along” is what I intuitively heard. They are truly lovers, not a fighter and simply just want everyone to make peace, not war (quite a pacifist they can be). They are wonderful listeners and trustworthy. They hardly ever judge and are quite accepting of everyone flaws and all. They can also be a people pleaser as well.
♡ They are family oriented and protective of their family. This person loves their family or love to anything related to family. They could have a great relationship with their parents, but specifically can be close with their mother or feminine energies in their life. They came from a pretty stable and supportive household. 
♡ They are independent and self-sufficient. They know they are destined for great things in life and are determined to succeed whatever they go in life or decide to do with their life. They have a healthy and high self-esteem, so they are very confident and secured in themselves and their accomplishments. They take very great care of themselves and their love ones. They have enough love for themselves and enjoy uplifting and encouraging others. A content and happy person overall, they are rarely ever unhappy, nor will they show it. They know their worth and refuse to settle for anything or anyone less than what they deserve.
♡ A grounded and stable individual. They have a great head on their shoulders. They have a strong appreciation for life and the finer things in life, never taking anything for granted and seeing an opportunity in everything. They are very nurturing and supportive to their love ones and always willing to give a helping hand to those in need. They are very consistent in anything they dedicate their time and effort to. 
♡ They are big nature lovers. They anything dealing with the outdoors. Gardening, hiking, running, walking, you name it, this person is pretty much down for a little adventure.
♡ They are very health conscious. They are very mindful of what they put into their body. They love to nourish and take care of their bodies, whether through exercise and dieting to keep them in good health. They are very in-tuned with their body and prefer to maintain a healthy lifestyle that benefits them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 
♡ They can be quite indecisive at times. They have a hard time making decisions or even sticking with a decision once they have made it. It could be that they want to make others happy and are afraid to make a wrong decision or even lose favor with people, if they choose to favor something else. 
♡ They don’t mind be alone for some. Although they are a people person, they don’t mind taking some time out to be alone to enjoy their own company and peace for a while. 
qualities they like about you
♡ Your beauty truly knocks this person on their feet. They find you to be drop dead gorgeous. They like the way you carry yourself and how you take care of yourself. They love the way you put effort into your physical appearance, always looking good. I’m hearing Fancy by Drake. Everything you do takes this person’s breath away, you could dress in a potato sack and they would still think you are the most beautiful thing they ever laid eyes on. They like how high maintenance you are, and how your prioritize your physical appearance. They like your sense of style, how you style your hair, how you do your makeup, the way you smell, and how you keep your nails and toes done. They also find your body to be so attractive and sexy, curves or not. They just like and appreciate how feminine you are.
♡ They like how maternal you are. They feel like you have a maternal nature to you. For some, you could remind this person of their mother or a maternal figure in their life. They like how nurturing and caring you are. How you are willing to help others and willing to help them. They like how supportive you are of them and always encouraging them when they need it. They love how affectionate you are and the way you show them unconditional love. They think that you are the “perfect woman / man” for them, someone that they could take home to their family, marry, start a family with, and create a beautiful and abundant life with. 
♡ They truly admire you and think very highly of you. They could possibly put you on a pedestal. They like how confident and bold you are and how you know your worth. They have nothing but respect and admiration for you. They are proud to claim as their partner    and that you choose to be with them, amongst all the other options, it gives this person a bit of an ego boost. They like how you bring out the best in them or encourage them to be the best version of themselves when they are with you. They truly like how you make them feel special and seen. They also like how you stand out amongst the crowd and don’t feel the need to fit in or seek external validation. They like how you aren’t afraid to embrace your uniqueness, and that you remain true to yourself. 
♡ To this person, they like how you have a unique or outwardly beauty that is rare and stands out amongst others. If you have red / ginger hair (naturally or dyed), they find it to be so beautiful and unique. They also like the color of your eyes, some of you may have green or blue eyes that are truly enchanting to this person. They feel like they are under a spell whenever they look at you. For some, they think you look like a witch. I channeled Lilith or siren energy, so they find you to be very seductive, mystical, fiery, irresistible, and a total wild card. I’m channeling that you may favor Jessica Rabbit to your next partner. 
♡ They like how secretive and mysterious you are. They are always fascinated to know more about you than what meets the eye. You are like a riddle that they would like to solve and figure out, but can’t quite figure out fully, yet they like idea of trying to unravel you. I pick up that your next partner will enjoy the “chase” phase when you met them. Opening Pandora’s box. They like the fact that you aren’t an open book, and that you take your time to trust and let people in. 
♡ They like how intelligent and wise you are. They like the way your mind operates. They like how there is more depth to your personality. They like that you have brains to match with your beauty. 
♡ They like how you believe in a higher power (whatever you define as divine power). For some, you could be religious or spiritual. You trust in divine power with everything in your life.
♡ They like your level of athleticism. They like how active and health conscious you are. They like how you take your health and well-being seriously, and how you take care of yourself. 
♡ They like how supportive you are. You know how to celebrate other people’s and their accomplishments. They like how they can always count on you to be their biggest supporter in good and bad times. 
♡ They like that you know how to have fun, you don’t take your self too seriously. They genuinely enjoy being around you and know that they will always have a wonderful and exciting time when they are with you. 
♡ They like that you are family oriented. This could be with your or their family. They love the level of emotional stability and fulfillment you bring into their lives. 
dynamic of this connection
*in keywords*
6th house synastry • connection of the minds • the couple that pray together, stay together • 11:11 • working out together• The Wood (movie) • changing bad habits to good habits• booking flights • running errands together • library dates • challenging each other’s perspective • reading together / to each other • bible study • Peace of Mind by PartyNextDoor • “your well-being is everything to me” • Look After You by The Fray • gratitude for each other • picking each other’s brain • learning together • long distance relationship • A Whole New World, Aladdin • religious differences • divine counterparts • “you’re apart of my life now” • “there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you” • 9th house synastry • wanting the best for each other • “let’s pour into each other” • self care days • “you need some help with that” • “you’re my priority” • You’re My Latest, My Greatest Inspiration, Teddy Pendergrass • “welp, looks like your stuck with me” • synchronizing each other’s schedule • work husband & wife • “if you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why” • growing together • bringing out the best in each other • “you are not what I was expecting” • spiritual awakenings • trying new things together • random debates • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind • laughing at each other’s jokes • “I love who I am when I’m with you” •  finishing each other’s sentences • “my stress reliever” • enlightening conversations • competitiveness, “ I bet you can’t beat me” • “everyday is an adventure worth exploring when I’m with you” • Fools Rush In (movie) • supporting each other’s dreams • “no matter what happens, we fight for each other and stick together” • “you get me, like no one else does” • planning a future together • the love of a lifetime • never a dull moment • meditating together • acts of service • carrying you home • the student & the teacher • collecting mementos • Love Like This by Faith Evans • I Will Be Your Friend by Sade • A Bronx Tale (movie) • Something About You by Drake & PartyNextDoor • ZebraHead (movie) • Wake Up Love by Teyana Taylor ft Iman
channeled song
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rowanhoney · 2 years ago
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Hmmm hmmmmm
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novthirty · 18 days ago
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🐦‍⬛ OUT OF BOUNDS — you get isekai-d into the n109 zone [chapter four]
synopsis — the monotony of your university days is interrupted by a stroke of misfortune, one which lands you in the world of love and deepspace, the game you had been casually playing for the previous months. with no way to return home, sylus offers you the job of being his personal secretary. — a continuation of the one-shot “out of bounds”
pairing — sylus x non-mc! reader
tags — reader is not mc, isekai/transmigration, fluff, angst, mutual pining, slice of life, boss/employee relationship, slow burn, grief, mourning, loss
a/n — we have finally reached the long awaited reader crashout and are nearing the end… i hope you all enjoy! this chapter was fucking with me for so long and i wanted to take my time rather than under deliver. this story means a lot to me and i’m trying my best to make sure it pays off well<33 but still, 18k words was not easy to edit so please don't mind any slight errors 😓 also, caleb came home in 30 pulls so do expect a birthday fic coming soon ~ (whether it'll be on time for his birthday is the question...)
ao3 | masterlist | series masterlist | part three | part five [coming soon]
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chapter four: inevitable — it’s hard to shine when you’re standing between the sun and the moon. wc: 18.6k
The hunter’s arrival is no more than a whisper within the N109 Zone. 
Sylus has kept the truth of her existence under lock and key, hiding his weakness under steel and chainmail. As far as the world knows, his interest lies in the protocore attached to her heart — and he plans to keep it that way. Biding his time, preparing for the day he carefully steps into her life.
But, like the force of nature she was, the hunter manages to find her own way in.
He’s the image of cool confidence as he’s informed of her capture in enemy hands, draping a blazer atop his shoulders and instructing the twins to start the car. “Will you be able to hold the fort on your own?” He asks.
But you can see the barest tremor in his hands, the tension in his shoulders, the rising fear of losing her before he even gets to see her with his own two eyes.
“You can count on me.”
This is the only peace you can offer him in the midst of this chaos. 
His eyes continue to linger, as if time wasn’t of the essence. Little words have been exchanged between the two of you since the hunter came into the picture. And for a moment, you think he might say something (please, say something). But all he does is grip your shoulder as if to ground himself, nodding in a silent ‘thank you’ before he leaves. 
The door shuts behind him. 
You know how this story goes. It was only a matter of time before he reunited with his lover in this life, before the story would continue along its tracks and catch you in the crossfire. 
Your search for a way home had become painfully futile. You’d think a world altered by the discovery of the Deepspace Tunnel would have more answers to the truth of your presence here, but your search had dug up nothing. Wormholes, dimensional travel, transmigration; from the philosophical to the scientific, all paths led to dead ends. 
You sit listless in your chair, fiddling with the necklace Sylus gave you as you wait for your life to be thrown into chaos. 
Staring into the metropolitan abyss of the N109 Zone, you sometimes like to imagine what sylus sees. An ant-like web of crimes and deceit, of power-hungry folks looking to get ahead and eat each other alive in the process. But all you ever see is a world beyond your understanding. And here, you wonder where you fit in this ecosystem; what your presence has done to change the story. 
You burst into terrible, broken laughter.
You shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. 
You were but a drop of water in the ocean. There was nothing that you, with no worth or significance to your name, could do to make more than a solitary ripple.
And so, you keep your longings locked and your love as just thoughts, as you wait in bated breath for the story and their fated reunion to begin.
—————————————————————
“Where are you taking me?” Her voice is biting as the twins bring her to the room you’ve prepared. Ornate, spacious, and windowless, just as Sylus asked. A gilded cage with an open door. You don’t see her but her rage rings through the corridors, something that feels almost like a hallucination after having stepped in her shoes, reading the story you once adored.
Her arrival is a marker of the story catching up to you, of time catching up to you. A reminder that you do not belong in this world. 
In the next few days, you become a quiet observer of this tale, watching their fractured reunion play out.
“What makes you think I'd ever be willing to help you?” She snapped at Sylus after their third failure at resonance, a sad attempt at a threat when she lay exhausted, slumped in the fancy chair in his study.
“You don’t exactly have a choice, sweetie. As you can see —” He gestures to the opulent surroundings, “— you’re in my territory.”
You roll your eyes. Trust Sylus to make a shit first impression, even to the supposed love of his life.
You keep to the sidelines, going about your typical routine. But your curiosity gets the better of you on the second day, when you offer to bring the hunter her food. 
You can’t help but imagine being in her shoes right now; kidnapped by the man she believes to have destroyed her home and killed her family. To an extent, you think it might not be so different to how you felt, first arriving here.
So, you decide to reach out. Maybe gain her trust and coax her into eating and regaining her strength. Food is the way to the heart, after all. At dinner time, you bring a tray to her room, knocking on the door and calling her name.
“Who's there?” She asks from the other side of the door, wariness lacing her voice. 
You introduce yourself, “It’s me, Sylus's secretary. Aren’t you hungry?” You soften your voice, treating her with the gentleness you would a cornered animal, but you’re met with silence. Concern gnaws at you, “You haven’t eaten in twenty four hours.”
She scoffs, the sound muffled by the barrier between you two. “What, isn’t that your plan? Starve me til’ I’m too weak to escape and resist Sylus's demands?”
You stop in your tracks, puzzled. “Escape? You know you can leave, right? No one’s going to stop you.” Even the door was unlocked. But you believed knocking was a basic form of respect, unwilling visitor or not.
She stays tight-lipped for the next few moments, so you continue, “Not that you’d get any further than a couple blocks, what with vultures hanging around the compound at all hours of the day—” Your spiel is cut off as she suddenly swings the door open, doing a double take at the sight of you.
It’s clear she sees the resemblance just as you had, her face contorting from defensiveness to stunned confusion. But for you, seeing her in the flesh only refuted any idea of similarity between the two of you.
Haggard and bruised, the hunter still manages to shine in the gritty underbelly of the N109 Zone.
When you first saw her face projected in the hologram, the likeness was unmistakable. The shape of your eyes, the slope of your nose, and the barely-there difference in the color of your hair and complexion. Anyone could have mistaken the two of you as cousins, maybe even siblings. But standing in front of her now, the difference has become clear as day.
You can’t help but understand how so many have fallen head over heels, enthralled by her and her character. In the shadow of her energy and vivacious presence, you could only look dim in comparison. Standing beside Sylus was no small feat — one that you’d failed to live up to, looking nondescript and ordinary at the side of the most powerful man in the N109 Zone. 
But of course, she fits like the missing piece to his puzzle. The dragon and the sorceress, now the criminal and the hunter. You try not to feel inferior, tamping down the jealousy and pettiness festering within you, but it’s hard to shine when you’re standing between the sun and the moon.
The initial surprise dissipates, and she eyes you with the mistrust expected of a kidnapee twice-over. You extend the tray towards her as a sign of good will, “Eat it while it’s still hot.”
“...How do I know it’s not poisoned?”
You huff, taking a quick bite. “Happy now?” 
She snatches the tray and slams the door behind her in one quick motion. You click your tongue; so much for gaining her trust. 
—————————————————————
Time had dulled your memory of how awful their first meeting truly was. 
Really, what was Sylus thinking? You wonder as he treats his treasured soulmate so… menacingly. 
You’ve become a bystander to the motions of the story you’re familiar with; the failed resonance, her disdain for him, and his absolute lack of tact in interacting with her. With his every word coated in menace and veiled threats, you’re wondering if Sylus was even thinking at all. Was he like this when you two first met? You try to recall as you get the ick from his unexpected hostility.
You want to know what’s running through his mind, what possessed him to think this was the appropriate way to go about this. But since the hunter’s arrival, your time with him had become even more scarce, any moment together cut off by his work or your urgency to leave. 
Guilt washes over you each time you see his face drop, when you make another hasty escape from facing him. But you cling on to the belief that this was necessary, to give you both space to adjust to the hunter’s presence, and for you to learn to live with the fact that he was not yours.
The two return from the workshop, and you stride into the office to give your daily secretarial report — only to find him hunched at his desk with a glass of wine, staring vacantly into the skyline of the N109 Zone.
In the dimly lit office, his eyes, shrouded by the shadows, give away nothing. But you catch the way his shoulders tense, his fingers clenching the stem of the glass. 
“Sylus?” You call out gently, announcing your presence with audible footsteps as you approach him, breaking your internal promise to keep your distance. But you could only hold out this one-sided silence for so long, weak in the face of his vulnerability. 
He calls your name with a weary tone, “Do me a favor and tell the informant I won't be meeting him today.”
“Are you okay? What happened?” You take slow steps in approaching him.
He fiddles with the stem of his wine glass as he releases a low, bitter laugh, “Well… it seems that our dearest hunter fears me. It was not any bodily dysfunction or injury that was preventing us from resonating, but rather her disgust.”
She captured his heart, bound his soul to hers, and now has no recollection of any of it. Detests him to the point her evol rejects his. 
You feign ignorance to the story beats you remember, “Well, it’s only been so long since you’ve met her again… If she’s still the same person, her memories of you are still there, deep down.”
“As if the world hasn’t made me wait long enough.” 
You don’t know what to say to that — heart torn between feeling bruised and feeling sadness for him.
“I'd like to be alone.” He takes a deep breath, a subtle command as returns his gaze to the skyline, guarding his vulnerability, unwilling to bare more of his weaknesses than he already has.
The world sees Sylus as an unstoppable force, as the supreme authority in the criminal underworld. But though the dragon may be fierce and capable, the human underneath was just that — a human. One that got frustrated, whose skin bruised, who had weaknesses that he guarded with veiled ferocity. But somehow, somewhere along the way, he’d chosen to strip the curtains of that vulnerability to you.
Maybe in another world, you would have taken him into your arms, refused to leave him as he quietly fell apart. But in this reality, it was no longer your place to do so. As it was, he had promised his heart to another, leaving yours too tender to comfort his.
The only peace you could offer him now was the privacy to crumble in solitude.
Still, you couldn’t bear to leave him so quietly. “You’re not a hard person to love. You know that, right?” You whisper, a quiet admission of your feelings. For all his gruff and intimidating nature, it was not his power, money, or looks that earned him your affection. But rather, all the softness he guards from the harsh world he lives in.
You shut the door before he can acknowledge you, trying to wipe the mental image of his conflicted expression. You mute his email for the next hour, redirecting it to your inbox, offering him a brief moment of peace to ruminate in his thoughts.
You laugh silently, bitterly to yourself, for giving so much of yourself for a man who was devoted to another. Despite having been set aside, you still can’t help but show your love for him in the only way you know how. (In the only way you can).
And you wonder to yourself: could you ever touch the part of him that hurts? One of the most powerful men in this world, having his world shaken by the hunter’s disdain. If it were your spite, your hurt that he faced, would it even feel close to the gravity he feels now? 
You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to. 
You had found yourself in the deep end, and it was high time to swim back to shore, to back out of this one-sided race. Because you may have received his affection, but you will never receive the depth of his devotion.
—————————————————————
Hostility melts into mischievous affection as the hunter’s dynamic with Sylus takes a sudden pivot into unfamiliar territory. The visit to the shopkeeper marked a turning point in their relationship as Sylus came to his senses, and their relationship evolved for the better. The truth to their tied souls, you think, as you bear witness to the connection quickly blossoming between them.
You’re fine. Really, you are. 
(At least, that’s what you tell yourself each time you see the soft smile on his face, melting in adoration for the hunter.)
You stop avoiding him, after catching a glimpse of the vulnerability he attempts to hide. His face lights up whenever you approach him, breaking the silence you kept for so long. And not for the first time, you feel guilt wash over you for how you added to his existing turmoil.
But still, you’re left wondering about your place in his life now that the hunter has arrived. 
The pages turn one after another as the two of you fall back into old routines, nurturing the friendship and camaraderie you built over the past year. But not everything stays the same.
You maintain your boundaries, keeping your nightmares and worries to yourself — settling for long, lonely nights, when the alternative is setting yourself up for a painful road. 
One night, you find a rare moment of peace in the recent chaos. The two of you battle over this world’s version of Monopoly in a high-stakes, cutthroat bet to determine who will have the first taste of Luke and Kieran’s slightly… dubious creation in the kitchen.  
They had taken up a class in baking after catching you one too many times in the dead of the night, making midnight snacks. A fact which warmed your heart, at first, until you realized that neither twin has ever touched a stove in their lives. The clanging of pots and shouts coming from the kitchen only serve to fill you with dread. 
You try your best, but eventually resign yourself to your fate. You know a lost cause when you see it. You didn’t exactly expect death by food poisoning, but when you think about it, it wasn’t a bad way to go.
“Can’t you let this poor salaryman pass through? Just this once?” You pout on the second hour of playing this stupid board game, putting on your best puppy eyes as you implore him to pity your little player.
“That wouldn’t be fair to you, sweetie.” He smiles as you begrudgingly hand over the play money for landing on his property.
His attention is focused solely on you, a rarity since the hunter’s arrival. But even with the scarce time you’ve spent together, you can’t pretend not to have noticed the growing bags under his eyes, the constant furrow in his brow. He’s handled the chaos in the N109 Zone with the stride of a man who knows his word is law; but at the expense of his own health and rest.
In perfect timing, the game ends just as the twins exit the kitchen, dressed in matching aprons and holding a plate of mini strawberry shortcakes. You end up losing, as expected, but Sylus is a good sport — taking a bite right alongside you. 
It’s… not bad at all, especially for a beginner. A little wonky and undercooked in the middle, the edges slightly burnt. But it’s edible. “Not bad,” You say — and immediately correct yourself, “Not that I thought it would be! But it’s good. Better than my first go at it, at least.” You leave out the age you were when you first touched an oven — all worth it to see their eyes shining from your praise.
”Awe, thanks, Miss Secretary! It was all in a day’s work,” Luke grins as he fixes his crooked apron. 
Of course, Sylus is Sylus. Eliciting his praise is like pulling out teeth. “It’s… acceptable, I’ll admit,” He says with a satisfied hum. 
Still, it’s enough for the twins to celebrate with a high five, “Hell yeah!”
The four of you clear half the tray, before bidding the twins good night, the two  suddenly tired from the sugar crash. “Amateurs,” You tease. They probably kept taste-testing the ingredients.
“I hadn't expected baking to become such an… outlet of energy for them.” Sylus comments, stealing a strawberry from your piece. You retaliate by getting a scoop of his whipped cream. 
“Well, most people I know started baking as some sort of distraction or stress relief,” You eat a forkful of cake and nod in approval. Every storm in your life has been followed by the creation of more pastries than you could possibly eat. “If it distracts them from the pranks, then I wholeheartedly approve!” You cheerily stake your fork into the air.
“Knowing the twins, they’ll just find a way to incorporate it,” He eyes the kitchen doors skeptically, not wanting their mischief to bleed into the food they eat.
With all the sugar you just consumed, it was clear you wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon. “Wanna clear this batch with me? Before they go and stock the fridge with the rest of their projects.”
“I'm afraid I'll have to take a rain check on that,” He says as he puts on his blazer again, standing up from the dining table.
“Hm? But there wasn’t anything on the calendar, last I checked. Did I miss —”
You’ve already brought out your phone to view the shared calendar when he explains, “I’ll be meeting with the hunter regarding a little… deal, that she’s brokered.” He leans down to match your height and ruffles your hair. “Don’t worry, Miss Secretary. Your schedule’s still intact.”
You roll your eyes, trying to muster a smile as you remind him, “Be nice.”
He raises an eyebrow, “When am I not?” Tch. When is he ever? 
Soon, you settle in the silence of an empty kitchen — and the thought of more cake doesn’t sound so appealing anymore. It’s never easy hearing of the two spending time together, much less seeing them in the penthouse everyday. But you’d rather have a friendship with Sylus than nothing at all. And you can only hope that with time, one day, it won’t hurt at all anymore. 
For a brief period of time, you have hope of that possibility. You think if you hold these boundaries in place and protect your friendship, things might just return to normal. Even if it means the end to anything more.  
That is, until the arrival of the auction.
The Solon Hotel celebrates its 15th annual auction, a Myriad of Nights. The crinkled invitation has been pinned to your corkboard for months, a dreaded reminder of all the preparations you needed to make.
The event has kept you on your toes; dutifully studying the list of guests, keeping an eye on keen bidders and Onychinus rivals. This auction is one of the N109 Zone’s most important events of the year, with the grossly rich and the violently powerful alike having a stake in this auction.
One week before the auction, Sylus strolls into the office, a sly smile plastered on his face, “I come bearing good news.”
You roll out your chair to face him. Without missing a beat, you ask, “A raise? World peace? Luke and Kieran outgrowing their terrible twos?”
“I'm not a miracle worker,” He smirks at that last one. “No, I've come to tell you that you’ve been granted a night off on the 17th.” 
“The 17th?” You question — and he amusedly spins your chair before striding over to his desk, ready to start the work day. But you’re left dazed, stopping the wheel as you pull up the shared digital calendar, confirming your suspicions. “But that’s the night of the auction.”
“Miss Hunter will be covering for you.”
“Oh?” Your face falls in an obvious dismay you can’t hide. 
The auction. Like many things from the story that have become hazy over time, the auction had slipped your mind. With how far back preparations had started, you completely overlooked its connection with the hunter’s arrival.
“She has her own agenda for the night,” He continues, “One that promises bloodshed. So, I want you to rest easy for the night. Take a well deserved break.”
By all accounts, you should be glad. You can’t blame him for making this decision, as you vocally detest going to these events. It’s easily the least enjoyable part of your job. But even with the foreknowledge you had, the thought of her taking your place weighs like a heavy brick in your stomach.
He realizes you’re not exactly pleased. “You can still come if you’d like to, of course,” He’s quick to assure you. “I thought you might enjoy the night off since you despise dealing with these affairs. I didn’t take you for being such a workaholic,” He chuckles affectionately, motioning to ruffle your hair — but you pull away, a little too abruptly.
You see his face fall, and you quickly brush it off and pretend to be unaffected, “Ah, ah, ah — no can do, slave driver!” You dramatically make a letter X with your arms. “You can’t take away a day off once you’ve given it.”
He rolls his eyes, but the concern doesn’t leave his face as he tries to coax you into opening up, eyes filled with a quiet honesty, “There’s no need to pretend like you’re not bothered by this. I know you’ve worked hard for this event.”
“Sylus, you don’t need to worry about me. You have bigger fish to fry. Besides, why would I be bothered by a day off?” You try to play it off. 
He sighs, accepting that you’re not going to talk about this any further. “Well, you know that there’s no one who can do your job better, right?” He places a hand on your shoulder, “I just don’t want you getting caught in the trouble that’s bound to ensue.”
You muster a smile, “Of course. After all, what would you do without your dearest secretary?”
He smirks, mind flashing to a night that now feels further than the sun. “Descend into chaos, no doubt.”
As though you were a scorned lover, you watch them from the mezzanine of the penthouse, dressed in your frilly pajamas and sipping a hot mug of tea as they leave dressed to the nines. The criminal and the hunter, two souls cut from the same cloth.
As much as it hurts you to stay behind, there was no way you would be able to stomach the picture perfect image of them together.
“Ready?” He offers his arm with the mannerisms of a perfect escort.
“It's showtime.”
“You lovebirds leaving without me?” You can’t help but be a little dramatic and interrupt their moment — though, Sylus definitely sensed your presence long before they entered. “Could’ve saved me a dance, at least.”
The hunter’s face scrunches in disdain at the mention of lovebirds, but she quickly recovers. “Oh, I think there’ll be more than just dancing, Miss Secretary,” She cheekily lifts the slit of her dress, showing a peek of the pistol strapped to her thigh. 
Despite already knowing they’ll have a safe return, your brows knit in worry, “Stay safe out there, you two.”
“You know we can’t promise that — but we’ll make a good effort,” Sylus smirks at you, a hint of concern in his eyes at the idea of leaving you behind.
You nod, a silent way of saying you’ll be okay. You wave goodbye and the hunter returns it eagerly, having warmed up to you in the past week. But the concerned, knowing look never leaves Sylus's face until they depart. 
The elevator doors slide shut, and it feels like a coffin closing over your heart. 
You laugh at how dramatic you’re being as you hold back a slight tear. It’s just an auction, you keep telling yourself. But it’s not the auction, isn’t it? It was seeing her take your place, and knowing this won’t be the last time.
You pick yourself back up, resolving to make the most of your night off. You make yourself comfortable in the living room, blanket and couch all to yourself, a movie running as background noise as you try to distract yourself with all sorts of hobbies. But you find yourself listless, unable to keep your mind focused on one thing.
The movie ends, and it becomes quiet.
With Sylus gone and the twins on a mission, the silence becomes all consuming. You leave a light on for when they return, trekking through opulent hallways until you reach your room, where once again, you stare into the city skyline stretching out into the distance. 
There’s rarely ever an opportunity to be alone in the Onychinus base. But when you are, it never ends well. You used to be able to appreciate solitude in your old world, but maybe you’ve become a little spoiled here, in receiving the constant companionship you had once lived without as a student living away from home. 
Here, solitude is when the lines between your dreams and reality begin to blur. Hours dazed in the possibilities of the past, the possibilities of a world where you had stayed. Graduated, diploma in hand as your family stands proudly at your side. Starting your career, devoting your passion to the field you love.
In comparison, this place feels like a lovely yet imprisoning dream. You’re fascinated by the wonders of the world you live in now, but each day that passes is a reminder of your place — or rather, lack thereof — in this world. A reminder of losses beyond comprehension. The loss of chance. The loss of possibility. No opportunity for you to grow, no winding path to change and evolve. And you ask yourself: are you even living?
This world feels like dreaming in a far-too-long nap. And not for the first time, you want to wake up from it.
It's currently March, the last of the winter chill before the snow melts, marking more than a year since your arrival. You feel like a broken record, looping back to the same hurts in an endless loop of grief; your doomed love, severed home, rootless soul. You can no longer fool yourself into thinking you can continue like this. You can no longer pretend to have a reason to stay.
You need to spare yourself from this grief, before it consumes you. 
—————————————————————
The auction reaches a chaotic conclusion, one that is whispered about through the N109 Zone for weeks after. You feel the ripples of their actions even from the safety of your office. Luke and Kieran are sent to clean house at The Nest. Meanwhile, you’re swamped with associates from Onychinus’s complex web of loyalties, scrambling to reclaim their spot in Sylus's good graces in light of the recent power struggle. 
Eventually, the dust settles. The pages of the calendar turn as the snow melts and warmth pours into the Onychinus base. And alongside the sunshine is Miss Hunter, whose presence becomes a permanent fixture in the penthouse.
It has only been a year since your arrival in this world, but your life has been completely upended, you think. From being a broke, burned out college student, to a tired secretary and mother of three. 
Who were those three children, one may ask?
“Miss Secretary!” You poke your head out to see what the fuss was all about, hearing the twins snickering not too far away. The hunter stomps her way to your room, face cringed and seething in disgust. “Luke and Kieran gave me a cookie filled with toothpaste!”
“Ah — see, your first mistake there was trusting anything they gave you.”
Luke and Kieran warmed up extremely quickly to the hunter, as they did in the story. They enjoyed her presence around the base, but you couldn’t tell if it was more for her personality or the fact they had a new target for their trickery. A part of you was relieved; it meant you were no longer on their roster of victims (not that they particularly like pranking you, as you stare them down in disappointment each time). But their determination to mess with the hunter was going to send you into an early grave. 
“I didn't even know they could feed themselves, let alone bake,” She pouted, crossing her arms. “In fact, they told me you made them!”
Ah. “Well… there may be some truth to that…” Your voice descends in volume to hide your guilt, but the hunter manages to hear quite clearly. 
“You knew about it, and you didn’t tell me?” She gasps, face contorting into mock betrayal. “I can't believe you had it in you to be this… deceitful!”
In your defense, they had only asked you for baking lessons on how to make a cookie sandwich. You had no part in the actual crime. (Though, you may have turned a blind eye at them squeezing toothpaste in the frosting bag. Your patience can only go so far.)
As penance and apology, you promise to bake her actual, edible cookies in return for the monstrosity she just ingested, when you suddenly have a stroke of genius. “I wonder if they have any left.” Your face contorts into a shit-eating grin, “Don’t you think Sylus would appreciate a sweet treat right about now?”
The two of you cackle and rope the twins into it, sending Miss Hunter as the messenger. (He sees right through your ploy, but still takes a bite because she’s the one offering.)
So maybe you’re not as mature as you preach to be. However, your headaches aren’t exclusive to the humans in the penthouse. 
Mephisto's permanent return to the base was a spark of joy in the bleak few months you’ve had, as he’s released from the duty of monitoring the hunter 24/7. It surprised you how much you missed the crow, realizing you’d taken his presence as one of your constant companions for granted.
The first week after his return, he sticks to your side like glue. Displeased at the hunter’s continued presence, continuing to report about her to you. Each time he catches her with Sylus he goes to show you the footage — almost like a son tattling on his father’s misdeeds. It’s a sweet gesture; clearly he’s smarter than given credit for, enough to decipher why you’ve been so downtrodden in the recent weeks. But as much as you appreciate his concern, you’re also not a masochist.
“What is it, Mephie?” You groan, abruptly woken after three grueling hours of trying to fall asleep. You would have thrown hands had you not discovered Mephisto, flapping his wings urgently.
He pecks at your cheek, showing you a hologram of Sylus and the hunter in his room, shoulders pressed together in a close proximity you were not prepared to see. “What, you want me to do something about it?” He flaps his wings in earnest, and you promptly turn around to bury your head in the pillow.
“It's none of my business!” You stubbornly burrow yourself under the blanket as he continues to squawk, “I don't want to know about the time they spend together, okay? It’s just rubbing salt into the wound.” You groggily explain, voice muffled by the pillow.
You didn’t need Mephisto to report on them — you already knew Sylus spent all his free time with her. As recalling her memories was a long shot, he turned his efforts to slowly build up their relationship again. What were once free slots in his calendar are suddenly blocked with the simple notes of ‘Miss Hunter.’ Your work dynamic has never been more out of sync, with his adjustments to the hunter’s daytime schedule after you had originally adjusted to his nights. Gone are the nights you could find him downstairs, spending the night chatting away your fears. Now, all you find are the lights turned off and a motorcycle gone from the garage.
Your voice must have taken a sad turn as the crow whimpers, nuzzling his beak into your neck to comfort you, almost like an apology. “It's okay, I know you just wanted to help.”
You let him roost on your bedside drawers, watching as he mechanically shuts down to rest. Mephisto's presence usually helps you fall asleep but tonight, you sigh as you resign yourself to a night of overthinking.
For a while, you thought that Mephie’s grudge against the hunter was one-sided. A rebellious phase, like a son’s poor reaction to his father’s new partner. So imagine your surprise when you realized she returned the sentiment.
You’re knitting on the couch, nodding along and reacting accordingly to Mephie’s squawks and accusatory pointing of his wings to the disgruntled hunter across the room.  
“She said that? Oh, I’m so sorry you had to hear that…” You dramatically cater to the crow’s concerns, “I'll talk to her for you, don’t you worry.”
“Sylus should’ve fed him to the wolves,” The hunter pokes her tongue out at the crow, who squawks in horror. “Of all the adorable, fluffy, non-feathered pets he could’ve had —”
“Ah, ah, he’s not a pet,” You correct her to appease the bird who looks as if steam is about to leave his butt. “He’s the best reconnaissance agent we have at Onychinus. Aren’t you, Mephie?” You coo at him and he flaps his wings in agreement. 
But of all the changes the hunter’s arrival brought to your life, the most unexpected development was your friendship with her.
In hindsight, it was no surprise. She may be a hunter — cutthroat and fearless, storming into the N109 Zone, wreaking havoc in the city’s most powerful crime syndicate — but you find there’s a certain bond between all freshly graduated college students. A little burned out, a little lost in life. Your similarities run deeper than your appearances, finding common ground in interests and life experiences despite having come from two different worlds.
She turns to you as a refuge within Onychinus, and in the process, she becomes yours. 
Although you loved your newfound family, a year spent with only them had perhaps led you to become a little stir crazy. You almost forgot how it was to interact with normal people your age, as your current situation and job didn’t leave you with a lot of room to feel carefree. But the hunter steps in as a breath of fresh air, taking you along on her various escapades.
“What, leaving without me?” Sylus asks with a touch of playful offense, when the hunter arrives at the Onychinus headquarters — not for him, but for you, to his comical surprise. You can see the silent question in his eyes as they flit between the two of you, and you shrug.
“Yes, now go shoo,” The hunter flicks her wrist, motioning for him to leave as she grins and slings an arm over your shoulder. “It's just me and Miss Secretary today.” 
This had all began when the hunter had been rambling about Kitty Cards, and you had stupidly made the off-hand comment, “Oh yeah, I’ve never played that before.” 
It wasn’t a lie; the real life edition of the game would be a vastly different experience to the virtual one. But the appalled look on her face sent waves of regret coursing through you, as she immediately booked a session at her favorite cat cafe.
Of course, Sylus still manages to pull one on you as you’re promptly greeted by two bodyguards from the pool of new initiates.
Your jaw drops as you turn to him, “Excuse me, do you not trust me to go out on my own?” 
“It's not you that I don't trust,” His gaze drifts over to the hunter, who glares at him in offense. “Our dear hunter, on the other hand, has a talent for finding trouble.” 
The hunter in question scoffs, “Well, why else do you think I keep you around?” She tilts her head cheekily at him, as he rolls his eyes, breathing an affectionate sigh.
Like always, it’s a casual punch to the gut. 
His gaze travels to you (almost knowing, you think) but you brush it aside and keep the neutral expression on your face. “Let’s wrap it up, you two.” You walk forward, lightly shoving your shoulder against Sylus’s, interrupting their moment. A rare moment of pettiness from you, but you think you’re entitled to it every now and then. “Shall we go? I’d like to see the Linkon sun before nightfall.”
You spend the day in Linkon where she crushes your ass repeatedly, and you’re not even offended. You were only here to see the cats, after all. It’s the perfect duo; she’s way too competitive and you don’t care about winning at all — the best of both worlds as you share the winnings, anyway, at the badge counter.
In your small world consisting of your newfound family at Onychinus, you appreciate the new friend you’ve made. An appreciation that surpasses any of the petty jealousy you may have. Time spent with the hunter means the opportunity to be a little less mature, to be silly in a way you haven’t been in a long time. You appreciate the brief reprieve, as this world has forced you to remain at 100% — keeping you at constant guard in the wake of your transmigration. 
Alongside kitty cards, she introduces you to the pop culture in this world, something you were never given a glimpse of in the game. One afternoon, you two decide to steal a set of speakers from Sylus’s study, putting on a playlist she made after learning how little you knew of mainstream music.
You’re sitting on the floor of your room, surrounded by papers as she switches the song to a soft acoustic track. “I like this one,” you comment, making a mental note to add the artist to your own playlist. 
“You don’t know them? Huh, I guess I shouldn't be surprised since you didn’t know any of the fifteen others before this…” You laugh awkwardly as she sends you the link, murmuring a soft thanks. “Did you grow up under a rock?”
“Something like that. I grew up really far from Linkon, it’s like an entirely different world there.” It wasn’t a lie. 
She never questions you further than that, to your relief. “You know, three months ago I wouldn't have dared to step into sylus’s study unless my life was at stake,” The hunter reminisces, sprawled out on your bed. “But here we are, committing casual theft.”
“You’ll learn over time he’s not as scary as he thinks he is. Especially when it comes to you. You could — I don’t know, spill your coffee on his desk, or stage a revolt against him in Onychinus, and he wouldn’t even bat an eye.”
She rolls her eyes, but you can see the faint blush coating her cheeks. “You’re exaggerating. Honestly, I was scared shitless when I first met him. Don’t tell him that,” She stares you down, and you motion to zip your mouth closed. “But I guess he’s not that bad, the more I get to know him…” 
You smile, partly out of affection and partly out of bitterness. The hunter is so obviously smitten, and you know it’s only a matter of time before she opens her heart to him.
By all means, you should be happy for them. You should be happy that your dearest friend in this world is finally getting the love and happiness he desires, that he deserves. You promised to back out of this unspoken race and let the story continue as intended — but here and now, fiddling with the beautiful necklace given to you many moons ago, you realize you have a habit of clutching onto things for far too long.
Long after the hunter leaves, you shuffle papers and calendars around to an unnecessary degree of perfection, lingering on these thoughts. Your friends, your family, your dreams, had made up the beautiful, imperfect mess that was your life. But here, beyond the walls of this place, the sad reality was there was little reason for you to stay. Little reason for you to live.
And you wonder, when she finally takes the place you hold in Sylus’s life, in Onychinus — what will be left for you in this world? 
—————————————————————
Early April showers take over the dark skies of the N109 Zone, a soft drizzle pattering against the windows of Sylus’s main office. It's a slow day, spring taking its course as Onychinus returns to a new normal with the hunter.
Stoic and focused he may seem, but Sylus’s mind is anywhere but work, drifting to the hunter and their blossoming relationship. He’s taken any and all opportunities to spend time with her. His schedule — once filled with free nights and weekends spent cozily in the penthouse — are booked back to back in any free moment he and the hunter can spare. His text messages, typically relegated to his work, become full of silly little moments as she continues to take a larger place in his life.
It’s what he wanted, isn’t it? 
So why does he feel his heart fall every time he sees the distance that’s grown between you two?
It's the 17th of April, and despite the little time you’ve spent together, he knows you already have something planned for his birthday. You haven’t breathed a word about it, but he knows that you would refuse to let it go uncelebrated, if the twins’ hushed scheming around him isn’t enough to go by.
He rests his chin on his hand, scrutinizing you, as if he could read your mind if he tried hard enough. You type away on your computer like a machine, so focused that it takes an awfully time before your eyes drift over to him, a bit alarmed at the intensity of his staring. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No reason at all,” He barely holds back the smirk threatening to curl at his lips. 
He can practically see the thoughts running through your head. Is he mad? Is he planning something? Can he read my mind? Until you finally look away with a resigned sigh. 
He chuckles under his breath, thinking he’s ready for whatever you have planned, when the door swings open, revealing the hunter — who was supposedly busy with work today — on a surprise visit.
“Knock knock!” She raps her knuckles against the open door, “Good evening, Miss Secretary! Or — good morning, I guess, for the both of you?”
“Did I say you could come in?” Sylus asks with his typical drawled snark.
She scoffs, throwing a smile at you before occupying his visitor’s chair, crossing her legs and making herself comfortable. “Is that any way to greet your favorite hunter, who’s so kindly come to you since you’ve been busy all week?”
He narrows his eyes, “You want something from me.” A statement, not a question. 
She sticks her tongue out at him, having clocked her immediately before she even got a word in. “A little birdie may have told me that you own an RX–116 —”
“You’re not riding it.” The answer comes automatically, eyes mechanically returning to the paperwork he’d been previously neglecting. 
“You haven’t even let me explain why…!”
“Alright, tell me. Why should I let you take Treasure — my most cherished motorcycle — out on a reckless joyride into the N109 Zone?” He crosses his arms, patiently waiting for her answer.
“Because you’re a fun–loving soul at heart, who values the happiness of his friends?” Her tone is light, fingers crossed, only to receive his deadpan stare. She huffs, “Oh, come on. I promise I'll be careful. What if you drive? If Miss Secretary can survive it, I definitely could!”
His eyes drift over to you, and you barely glance up from your screen, deigning him with a shrug. “Sorry, she asked.” He continues to stare intently at you, a silent plea he hopes you’d understand if only you’d just look up. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“…No meetings? Deadlines? Overdue paperwork? Tell me what’s on my schedule today.”
You grant him an almost knowing smile, rolling your eyes. “Since when have you cared about paperwork?” Still, you flick through the digital calendar, lazily pretending to indulge his request. “No, there’s nothing keeping you. You’re free from the clutches of work. For today,” You emphasize that last part as a subtle threat.
Still, he continues to look at you skeptically — it’s almost like he wants you to hand him more work. “I mean it, go have fun. Take a break. Since when did you care so much about skipping work?” He can almost hear you muttering, “The privileges of being a rich bastard…” as you breathe a tired sigh. 
It's true that Sylus's position affords him the privilege of passing up on the workday for his whims. Whether it be upgrading Mephisto, waiting on online auctions for vintage records, or in this case, a day out with the hunter.
It unnerves him, this side of you. Despite the stark gap in power between you, you’ve never failed to scold and banter with him, thumping him on the head more than a few times after he’d neglected the calendar. But lately, you’ve been almost… complacent with him, as if you’ve accepted something inevitable.
It's a jarring realization when he thinks about how little time he’s spent with you since the hunter’s return. Especially considering how close you had grown, how you’d spent almost every free moment with him before. A part of him knows that for one reason or another, you’ve kept your distance, and he hates it — but at the same time, the hunter was slowly opening her heart to him.
But were you really going to let him go this easily, on the eve of his birthday, when you clearly had something planned already? It was moments like these that made him wish for things to return to normal. (That made him wish to see the side of you that cared.)
“Fine,” He gives into the pleading eyes of the hunter, who cheers as he tosses her the keys. “Meet me in the garage. Careful not to go too wild, kitten.”
He shakes his head as she skips out of the room, catching one last look at you before muttering, “You two will be the death of me…” He leaves the office without looking back. 
The evening is spent racing through the outskirts of the N109 Zone, wind and rain rushing past them as Sylus takes the opportunity to show off the motor’s maximum speed. She screams, and it echoes through the empty roads. Joyously carefree, still carrying the same fire and spirit she once held in their previous lives.
But, not everything was the same. The hunter’s life was by no means easy, but she grew up in a much kinder world than the sorceress, untouched by the horrors that he and her previous iteration were irrevocably changed by. Does he even want her to remember? Would it still be love if he forced her to relive those horrors? 
His devotion to the sorceress has always been overwhelming, all-consuming. But in this life, he does not feel the same intense love, but more so a quiet affection, a desire to protect. And so, he’d rather the hunter live in peace. Never knowing the horrors of their past, even if it means that he’ll be forgotten, as well.
She urges him, “Go faster!” and he obliges with a smirk, revving up the engine to go at maximum speed. She cackles, letting go of his waist and letting her arms caress the midnight breeze. He can’t help but breathe an affectionate sigh — her dauntless, the opposite to your wariness on this very motorcycle. 
Miss Secretary. His thoughts have once again spiralled back to you, a habit that’s slipped out of his control. He's always been unwavering in his desires, but your arrival had upended his world and the foundations of what he knew about himself. And now, he no longer knows where his heart lies.
He knows it’s not fair to either of you. He feels guilty for the hunter’s oblivious nature — clueless to what almost was (what could still be) between you and him. And for you, you have done your utmost best to keep the boundaries he wasn’t strong enough to. 
He's a shameless man who’s never been afraid to take and take. But every time he sees the pain that his indecision — his choice — has caused you, he can’t help but tread carefully, wary of hurting you any more than he already has.
The clock strikes twelve, marking the beginning of April 18th. They return to a base shrouded in darkness, where they stumble around for the lights, only to be greeted by a garishly decorated living room and the twins dressed in red and black. 
“Happy birthday, boss!” The twins blow party poppers as he walks into the living room, “Didn’t expect this, did ‘ya?”
He’d been so conflicted at leaving before his birthday, when little did he know, it was all an elaborate ruse to distract him while you and the twins decorated.
“…It seems I've been deceived.” This is the first time you have ever left him truly dumbfounded.
“Surprise!” The hunter slaps him on the back, a satisfied smirk on her face. “Did you really think I was bugging you for a ride out for nothing?”
“Well, not nothing, considering you commandeered the vehicle halfway through.” She swats at him playfully in response. 
His eyes search for you, and just in time, you carefully step out of the kitchen, holding a two-tiered cake with a candle lit atop. What ensues is an off-tune rendition of happy birthday, as you step closer, careful not to extinguish the flames, “Make a wish, Sylus.” You smile. 
Since the tragic end to his life as a dragon, he’s only ever had one wish. But this year, he hesitates.
For the first time, he wishes for something else. Something new and precious. 
The flames dance in the wind before being snuffed with a single breath, smoke trailing with the promises of what’s to come.
Once again, you‘ve planned an elaborate celebration, just as you did the previous year. Something simple here at the base, but still catering to his preferences. From the tasteful red, black, and gold decorations, his favorite meals laid out on the dining table, and a pile of presents wrapped in a mishmash of patterns and ribbons.
When he takes the first bite of the cake, he lets out a hum of satisfaction, immediately noticing the gleam in the twins’ eyes.
“What, did you like it?” You smile at him cheekily, chewing through your own bite. “Luke and Kieran baked it, red velvet cheesecake with a bourbon coating.” 
The hunter scowls, still not over their previous attack on her taste buds. “Oh, so Sylus gets a fancy, artisanal cake and I get toothpaste cookies?”
Kieran grins, lightly punching her shoulder, “Don’t worry, Miss Hunter. Just wait til’ it’s your birthday.”
”Yeah! We’re more than ready to top the last one," Luke chimes in, a sinister promise no one wants to hear.
Sylus's gaze follows the hunter throughout the night. It’s the closest he’ll ever get to closure, he thinks, seeing her slot into his close circle (family) like a perfect puzzle piece, celebrating a day that never mattered to him until they made it matter. In their previous life, they had never been afforded the time or peace to celebrate these mundane milestones.
But despite the jovial atmosphere, his eyes can’t stray from your strange mood. You do a good job of pretending that everything is alright, going about the motions and matching the merry of the occasion. But though you may be able to fool others, you can’t fool him. After the party has come to an end, he doesn’t leave your side — determined to know what’s been bothering you. 
“Hey, no cleaning for the birthday celebrant!” You lightly shoo him away with the broom as he tries to take over cleaning the living room.
“Oh? I say the birthday celebrant gets to decide that for himself,” He easily swipes the broom from your hands, and you huff, relegated to picking up the wrapping paper strewn about the floor.
“Stubborn bastard,” You mutter under your breath. 
“A little louder, dear. I couldn't hear you.” You scowl at him and he laughs, “I can't let you do all the work, no? What kind of boss would I be, then? Tsk, if only you had just left it to the cleaners like I told you to.”
Still, you resolve to finish cleaning. It’s a bit comical seeing him with a broom and dustpan, and on his birthday, of all days. Still, you assert that it would be too rude to leave all this work for the cleaners’ shift come morning. With the two of you working at it, by the time the hour’s up you wouldn’t have been able to tell a celebration occurred.
“Let's go to the rooftop,” Sylus suggests, after taking out the trash. “I feel like taking a breath of fresh air.”
The two of you walk up the familiar staircase to the rooftop, the highest point in the N109 Zone, where you’ve spent many nights deprived of sleep and spilling your deepest fears and nightmares. 
“Watch your head.”
“What are you— ow!” You bump your head on a new exit sign that hadn’t been there the last time you came.
He laughs breathily, rubbing your forehead with his thumb after he perfectly ducks under the sign. “I did warn you.” 
“It feels like forever since we’ve been up here.”
“It's also been quite a while since I’ve seen you.”
You laugh shakily, “What are you talking about? We’re in the office every day…”
“Don’t act like you don’t understand, it’s unbecoming of your intelligence,” He brushes a stray hair from your face.
“Well, what can I say? We’ve all been so busy lately… But you seem happy, though.” He remains silent, so you continue, “You’ve waited so long to reunite with her. I've never believed in soulmates or anything like that, but for you two, I just might. I’m happy for you,” A timid smile paints your face, and he can’t tell if it’s out of bitterness or soft appreciation. 
He doesn’t know how to feel, receiving your approval — feigned as it may be. “If that's so, do you believe it for yourself?” You look at him strangely. “Do you think you could have a soulmate?”
The question seems to weigh heavily on your mind as you look away, dangling your feet aimlessly, “Maybe so… But I like to think that love is a choice. Something that’s earned, built up over time. That's the kind of love that I want, at least.”
His heart has been conflicted for so long — but all of a sudden, you feel unreachable, slipping from his grasp into a territory uncharted. (All of a sudden, he wants to give you everything you wish for.)
“It's been a while since we’ve talked like this. It’s nice being able to spend time with you again.” You stand up, brushing non-existent dirt off your thighs. “But I better head to bed.” 
It’s a lie, you both know you’ll spend the night tossing and turning into the hours of the night; so he tries to push at the walls you’ve put up. “Come on, dear. It's my birthday. Just grace me with your presence for a few more minutes…”
He tries not to sound desperate, but all he wants to do is reverse time, to return to a period where you weren’t wary of spending time with him. He'd been spoiled by the affection and friendship you once offered so freely, and now he couldn’t bear this distance you stubbornly held in place. 
He reaches to grab your hand, but you pull yours away. 
You hesitate before turning around, “I'm sorry, Sylus. But maybe another night.” Your voice is soft as you say good night, his eyes stuck on the image of you walking further away until you disappear from sight. 
He wants so badly to pull you back, yearns to grab your hand once again, to feel the warmth of your palm against his. But he knows he has no right to. The presence of the hunter a few doors over says it all, says his choice. He can’t bear to hurt you any more than he already has. But at the same time, he can’t bear to lose you.
So instead, he watches you walk away, knowing that he’s chosen the hunter, his soulmate. But a part of his heart continues to yell at him, telling him he’s making a grave mistake. 
—————————————————————
You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the overstimulating atmosphere of the underground ring. The flashing lights, the all-consuming noise in the hours before a match starts. It's been months since you’ve been here, but it’s clear that anticipation runs high in the crowds, with this being Sylus's first game since last year’s loss. 
You sniffle, holding back a sneeze as you approach the ring with a bouquet of flowers, waiting patiently for Sylus to break from his pre-game focus as the coach gives him a last minute pep talk.
His eyes eventually drift over to you as he takes a sip of water, “Oh? Look who showed up." He smirks at you, arms leaning against the barrier, “And here I thought you’d be a no-show after last year’s disappointment.”
“What can I say? It’s a crime to pass up on an easy bet.” 
“I'm touched by your faith in me,” Unlike his words, his tone is deadpan.  
You mockingly scoff, “Who said I placed my bets on you?” You say this, but both of you know who you’re rooting for. “I just thought I might as well wish you good luck, considering I used my PTO on this.”
“Trust me, dear.” His smirk is one of confidence, as he leans past the barrier, face inching towards yours. “By the end of the night, there’ll be a new champion reigning this ring.”
A sudden screech comes from behind — some sort of ongoing venue prep — and your face scrunches up, another headache coursing through you. 
“Are you okay?” His brows furrow as he calls your name, concerned at the deep circles under your eyes, the pale sheen to your face. “Maybe you should sit down. You don’t look well.”
“I'll be fine,” You wave him off, “It’s just a headache. I can champ through it.” 
“But is it wise for you to stand in these crowds?” He removes his glove, pressing a hand against your forehead. “Go sit down in the locker room, they’ll be airing the match inside. I don't need you in the stands to know you’re supporting me.” 
The increasing dizziness you feel is the only reason why you nod, picking up your things and doing as told without so much as a fight. His eyes follow your sluggish form until you make it past his sight, settling inside the rundown locker room to watch alongside other competitors and coaches.
Even though you’ve been continuously sneezing and feel like knocking out, you’re on your toes the entire match, even from the low quality screen delegated to the locker room. The crowd is just as enthusiastic, roaring for his revenge match. You know nothing about boxing, but even you can tell from the first few minutes alone that he’s doing well, performing better than he ever was as the cheers of the crowd pound through to the walls of this secluded room. The camera shifts as he overtakes his opponent — and that’s when you see it, a glimpse of the hunter cheering at the front row. 
You already expected her presence, was anticipating to sit by her side as the both of you cheered Sylus on. But a part of you feels sick, lightheaded, progressively dizzier as the match continues. Not just because of the hunter’s arrival, or the anxiety of seeing Sylus getting socked in the face — you realize as you feel the bile rising up your throat. 
The match ends as you walk out of the bathroom, contents of your stomach flushed down the toilet. You missed the final blow, the crowning moment, the television having switched to an interview. His voice fills the room, the audio muffled and crackly, “Someone came all the way here to watch me. Said she didn’t want to see me lose.” 
You recognize that look of adoration, reserved only for the hunter. And once again, you feel your stomach lurch. 
It's a weak moment for you — you want to stay, to cheer him on as his friend and supporter (the only things you were and would ever be to him). But it was too much for you, seeing her take the place that maybe, in another life, could have been yours.
You guiltily leave the bouquet in the locker rooms, slipping away easily into the swarm of crowds leaving the venue. You pass by the ring as you make your way to the exit, seeing him at the edge of the barricade, swarmed by reporters.
In the ring, he shines like a star far out of your reach.
Was this penance for your pride? For believing you could take the spot of someone who was long destined to be by his side? The last image you see is of his arm wrapped around her waist, lips pressed to her forehead — his attention, his gravity, tethered to her. 
You leave the underground stadium guilt-free, feeling a little silly for having doubts about your departure affecting him. You realize that no matter what you do, he’ll be fine.
He has the hunter now.
—————————————————————
The moment he steps out of the ring, lights flashing and reporters crowding to get his interview — the first thing he sees is the hunter, standing front row in the bleachers, cheering him on with her fist in the air. His arm stays around her waist as they celebrate his win, answering nosy interviewers and being crowned with the champion’s ring.
He should be filled with nothing but happiness, satisfaction. But right now, all he could think of was finding you.
He fiddles with the champion’s ring, a nervous tic he’d never dare show to the naked eye as he makes his way to the locker room, where he finds an intricate bouquet of flowers and a congratulatory note, written in your familiar penmanship. 
It seems his greed had become far too overwhelming. 
Faced with all his wishes coming true, he still yearns for more. Everything he ever wanted was coming together, but none of it felt right — not with your absence creating a gaping void in a picture perfect image. 
Disheartened by your absence, the dim mood follows him as he returns to a quiet home. He carefully steps inside, your snores filling the space as he finds you sprawled on the living room couch, still dressed in your outside clothes, skin dull and face tightened in discomfort. 
He lifts you up, beginning the trek to your bedroom to let you sleep away the rest of the night, only for you to stir awake in his arms. “Sylus?” You peek at him through bleary eyes, “You’re home…”
He places the back of his hand against your forehead, “You’re burning up. Did you take any medicine before falling asleep?” 
“I'm sorry I couldn’t stay for the match…” In your drowsy state, you don’t hear his question, instead nuzzling your head into his chest. He savors the feeling of your warmth. “Did you get my flowers?”
“I did. They were a beautiful choice.”
“That's good. You deserve only the best, after all.” Your voice is a little breathy, soft and tender in ways you never reveal to him anymore — and he couldn’t help but be a little lovestruck. 
“You know just how to flatter me, don’t you?” He lays you down gently, tucking the covers over your form, as he musters the courage to follow through with his thoughts. “But since you brought me flowers, I should give something in thanks.” 
He slides the champion’s ring off his finger, delicately placing it in your palm, closing your fingers over it. “I believe this should be yours.”
“Sylus, what is this?” Your face is still unnaturally pale, but you seem more lucid now, staring at the ring with an unreadable expression on your face.
“There's only one reason I left as a champion today, and she’s standing right in front of me.” His eyes are glued intently to yours, water still streaking from his hair after the quick shower he took before leaving. “Last year’s match was a blow to my pride, I'll admit. But how could I ever stay down with you by my side?”
It’s rare for him to display his fondness on a silver platter — not painted in wit or banter, but with the clarity of an open window into his heart. But something about you wills him to take steps he never has before.
You stay silent for an unnerving amount of time, turning away from him, overwhelmed by the depth of his gaze. Your face contorts into a fractured smile, “I think we both know who you should really give this to.
He stares at the ring, refusing to take it from your outstretched hand. a strained laugh leaves his lips. He gently grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him once again, “You won’t even accept gifts from me, now? How much will you pull away from me before you’re satisfied?” 
“I can't accept this, and you know why.”
He knows. Just like he knows why you stray from his touch, why you avoid his gaze. He knows, but he refuses to accept it. 
“I went into this match for you. I won it for you, not the hunter.” A frantic sort of grief fills his features, imploring you to open your heart to him. “So why is it that you keep telling me to run to her? What makes you believe you’re undeserving?” 
“Because it shouldn’t be me. I just—” The words fail to form on your tongue, twisting and turning until the intention is lost. “Please, sylus. I can't do this right now.” 
“I didn't think your cowardice was stronger than our friendship.” 
You come to an abrupt still, your eyes glazing over in stifled shock. “Well, I'm sorry to have disappointed you.” 
Regret immediately courses through him as he realizes the harshness of his words, and the guardedness of your tone. He hates causing you hurt or pain, but he can no longer bear to ignore the distance that's grown between you. (But does he even have the right to confront you about it? When he knows his actions are the root cause.) 
“We can't hide from this forever, so why won’t you just talk to me?” He's just about ready to beg for you to look at him again, to talk to him again, without the inhibitions that separate you now. 
You take a deep breath, a hundred thoughts running through your mind before you settle on simple words, “Because things can’t go back to normal, and I don't know if they ever will.” You turn around, effectively ending the conversation and drawing that dreaded line. “I'd like to be alone now, please.” 
It’s not irreparable; at least, you don’t think so. But regardless of the place the hunter now holds in your life, you had crossed a turning point in your relationship, one that made it impossible to turn back. This was the price of his choice; he couldn’t have his cake and eat it, too.
Despite how much he wants to confront you, more than anything he wants to respect the boundaries you’ve set in place. And so, Sylus is left to stew in his thoughts in the living room, fiddling with the ring and wondering why he wouldn’t just give the ring to the hunter. Why he caused all of this mess. (He knows exactly why.)
The bond he had with the hunter transcended lifetimes, giving his soul a first taste of human connection and love. He grasped at the seams of that bond, holding on for dear life and desperately seeking the peace they were never afforded. But your arrival broke the monotony of his days, and in the process, treated him to that connection, that genuine acceptance and care so freely. You easily slotted into his life, and now that you were trying to walk away — he couldn’t just bear to let you go.
He may have fallen in love with the sorceress in their previous life, but now, it was time to face his current reality. 
In this world, his heart had chosen you. 
—————————————————————
You feel like you're being replaced, being pushed out of the picture you were never meant to be captured in.
For the longest time, you’ve felt the petty urge to hate the hunter. To pick out her flaws and shortcomings to make yourself feel better. But that wouldn’t be fair to her, who’s done nothing but unknowingly capture Sylus's heart. And it would only fan the flames of bitterness and hurt that were already burning inside you.
You stomp at the petty jealousy taking root in your heart — because what right do you have to feel that way? What right do you have to mourn a love that was never yours to begin with? 
You feel rather foolish. You thought you knew what his affection felt like, but it was nothing compared to seeing his devotion. You never believed in soulmates — but how could you deny the cosmic connection before your very eyes? Like a planet and its moon, they orbit each other — his harsh edges softening in her presence.
Sylus gave you hope for a future in this world. But to him, you must be just one of many, a buffer while he waits for his lover to finally come along in this life. He was someone who had never known peace, never known the warmth of love before he met her. In the grand scheme of things, what was your rust to her gold? 
These fantasies have become fatal, cutting open old wounds and deeply hidden thoughts. Never have you felt so untethered. No place where you belonged, no place to call home, no connection that was meant to be truly yours. Your world had been shrouded in static in the wake of losing your loved ones, life becoming grainy and distant in your grief. The loneliness had been dampened by new connections, by a blossoming love, but was now coming back in full force as you watch the image of how it should be, without you.
You were never meant to be here. 
(Thus, it was only right to return things to how they should be.)
—————————————————————
Thunder rolls in, casting gloomy skies over the N109 Zone. it’s one of those days where you can’t muster up the energy to do anything but curl up on the couch with a blanket, paperwork left forgotten on the coffee table, watching raindrops dart against the tall windows overlooking the city. 
The twins are similarly sprawled across the living room floor. With Sylus and Mephisto out on a mission, it’s just the three of you in the penthouse, spending the last of the spring showers working by the warmth of the fireplace, before humid summer storms take over. 
The dreary atmosphere did nothing to quell the persistent grief that weighed heavily in your chest. Not even the comforting presence of Luke and Kieran could muster a smile on your face, these days. 
Your eyelids start to flutter, the movie and the twins’ chatter becoming hazy as you drift into slumber, where once again, you dream of home.
You find yourself thinking about home much more, nowadays. You miss the sun, you miss the food, the warmth of company (the lack of doubt of your belongingness). But as always, you wake up to the cars and gunshots typical of the N109 Zone, the rain having slowed to a soft drizzle, pattering against the window. 
You spend a little while with your eyes closed, savoring the taste of home only a dream can capture, a feeling that slips through your fingers before you can truly grasp it. And once again, you wish for a clue, a hint, an answer to a way back home. 
Little did you know how soon this wish would be granted.
You stretch your arms out, coming to a slow rise from the couch, remembering the pile of paperwork that awaited you on the coffee table. You sigh as you see the other half; it seems the twins hadn’t gotten much done either, their papers getting mixed up with yours during your short nap. you take quick, mindless glances at the papers — your events and supply documentation, the twins’ mission reports — as you sort through them. 
One in particular slides out from the pile, and you pick it up, intending to place it on their side of the table — only to stop in your tracks, catching a single phrase. Dimensional travel. 
You shouldn’t be snooping. As Sylus's secretary, you’re already privy to most of the ongoings in Onychinus. You know that if something’s been kept from you, it’s for a reason. But as your mind flits over all the dead ends you’ve run into in your search to go home, you think — what’s the harm in taking a look?
Your blood stills. 
What greets you is the twins’ hasty scrawl, recounting their findings as they led a reconnaissance mission at an EVER lab on the outskirts of the N109 Zone. Test subjects who were found in public, on the brink of death. Who spoke of “other worlds.” Unfortunate individuals who were found somewhere more public, deemed a nutcase, and left vulnerable to the hands of EVER. In Kieran’s more formal penmanship are the words, “These findings are supported by the classified dimensional travel studies at Prestara University…”
And when you see the date of the mission — it’s from the previous year.
Why did no one tell you about this? 
All of you were smart enough to connect the dots. Near-death experiences, tales of other worlds. Here you were, searching on what seemed to be a fool’s errand, when the people you slept under the same roof with held the very answers you’d been so desperately seeking.
An eerie feeling settles over you (you don’t want to name it as betrayal) as you look over the papers, reading them over and over, thinking there’s no way this had been just out of reach, all these months.
On the dot, the twins return to the living room with bags of snacks in their arms, Luke with his typical cheer as Kieran stills, seeing the papers in your hand. “Miss Secretary, you’re finally awake. Do you want a snack —” 
“What is this?” You cut him off, uncharacteristically stoic as you raise up the stapled reports, still reeling from shock at the words you’ve just read. “Your mission reports… These are from a year ago. Why didn’t I know about this? 
The two worriedly look at each other in silent communication, before you ask again, fed up with the lies and secrecy. “What aren’t you telling me?” 
“Luke, she read the reports. She knows.”
“But the boss said — Fine. But don’t blame me when this ends badly.” He sighs before giving in, turning to look you in the eye. “I think it’s better if we show you. But… Please don’t be mad at the boss.” 
“No  more than you already are,” Kieran adds, and you look at him skeptically. “We know you two are fighting. It’s been torture seeing you guys mope! The boss has been burying everyone in work and you… You’ve been a shell of yourself.”
You open your mouth, ready to spout excuses, but he interrupts you. “Don’t deny it, we can see it for ourselves. Especially with the way the boss has been grovelling.” 
“Sylus has not been grovelling. He has better things to do with his time.” You roll your eyes, but they continue to stare at you in doubt, until you sigh and let up.
“Alright. so we may have had a… slight disagreement. But really, I've just been in a funk. A little homesick, and a little actually sick. That's all. But you know what will help me?” You raise up the reports once again, flipping to the research page. “Show me these case studies. Show me everything there is to know about this.” 
“Well, we tried.” Kieran lets out a tired exhale, “If knowing this will help you, then we’ll do it.”
The twins lead you into their wing of the penthouse, a territory you never dared to venture unless it was dire circumstances— which it very well feels like it is now.
“Welcome to our little abode!” Luke cheers as he swings the doors open. 
“Oh, how… charming.” 
You tiptoe around the communal living area, unable to distinguish what is a weapon for Onychinus and a personal invention they’ve made for an elaborate prank. Frankly, it’s a mess. Apparently teenage boys are the same type of disgusting in any universe, you cringe as you find a smelly article of clothing on his desk that's definitely overdue for a wash. Only the promise of answers holds back your urge to hand these kids a broom and force them to clean.
“Over here’s my desk. Go wild, I guess. I'll be in the other room if you need anything.” 
Your heart races as you’re left to your own devices, inputting the related mission code — and there it is. A wealth of information answering the questions you’ve had. 
You skim over the articles, all from the same research team, studying the phenomenon of dimensional travelers, as they’ve so aptly put it, and their possible connection to the Deepspace Tunnel.
But the most damning implication of them all, was that there was a way for you to return home. The researchers are positive they’re close to a breakthrough, they write, as they cite the commonalities between these travelers. If a close encounter with death is what brought them all here, then it only makes sense it can bring them back. 
But this is where the trail ends. The last article ends with the researchers discussing potential experimentation — the risks of being lost in the unknown boundary between worlds, ripped to shreds by the force of gravity, or better yet — just dying. With it, your hope dims. 
But it’s something. Nothing concrete, but enough to prove you weren’t crazy. Enough to have hope. Enough to try.
But the question remains… how could this have possibly slipped past you? You’ve researched every corner of info available to you in the Onychinus database. 
As Sylus's secretary, you’re granted the privileges to access almost everything in Onychinus, including the information databases which contain a wealth of information from various sources (legally and illegally obtained, many inaccessible to the public yet). And when you check the status of the articles — you see that your access has been blacklisted.
As it was, there was only one person in Onychinus with the power to do this. 
“Sylus put you up to this, didn’t he?” When your eyes turn to Luke in question, he only nods grimly in confirmation. 
“The boss asked us to keep it from you,” He almost looks like a sad puppy wagging his tail, trying to appease your increasingly irate mood. “He was only worried about what you might do if you found out about this.” 
“He should’ve worried about what I’d do if you kept this from me.” You spat bitterly, and immediately, guilt coils through you for misplacing this anger on Luke. The twins might have been in on it, but despite all their mischief, they would never have had the heart to lie to you. No, this was all Sylus's doing.
You walk away, as overwhelming waves of betrayal course through you. You don’t want to make assumptions, but there is no other possible truth. It’s almost uncharacteristic of him, you think. He's always supported whatever you wanted to do. So why would he do this now? 
Why hide the answers that would lead you back home? 
And if he hid this from you, what else could he be hiding? 
These thoughts continue to plague you into the late hours of the night. Hours of tossing and turning in the sheets, before giving up on slumber entirely. Before, you would tiptoe in the marbled halls in search of laughter and company. But things were no longer the same. Now, you lock yourself in silence, refusing to bare any more of your heart.
But there still comes some nights such as now, when you can’t stifle the dark creeping in. Like a sheep heading into the wolves’ den, you tiptoe out of your bedroom, making your way to the kitchen where you cope as you always have: by baking. 
As you pull out the ingredients, Sylus eventually comes strolling in, as if he had a sixth sense to your presence. 
“Can’t sleep again?” He asks groggily. Hair mussed and robe crumpled, it was clear he had already been in bed. His tone is careful, still tiptoeing around you after the mess of a conversation you last had after the match.
You nod tiredly, “Too much to think about.” You’re being uncharacteristically cold to him, not even turning around or looking at him in acknowledgement. But if he notices, he doesn’t show it. 
All you want is a moment alone. But already, he’s coming far too close to you — invading your space like he’s entitled to it, when all you want is to be as far away from him as possible. 
“Let me help you.” He says, grabbing the bowl from behind you and rolling a whisk in his other hand. “It'll just be like old times, don’t you think? Miss Baker, with her apprentice running the ovens.” 
You can’t help the anger simmering beneath you as you slam the cupboards closed, alarming him. Can you not get one moment of peace in this fucking household? “You know what? I think I'll just go to bed, actually.”
He lets out a breath of frustration. "Alright, it’s clear that there’s a problem here.” He grabs your hand to stop you from leaving, only for you to rip it from his grasp. He steps back, “I admit that I said some hurtful things before, and I'd like to apologize properly. But can we sit down and talk about this like civilized people?”
You know it’s wrong to lash out like this, but this betrayal had you reeling and acting out impulsively. A crash-out long in the works, tipped over by your recent revelation. “Always one to ask forgiveness rather than permission, aren’t you?”
“What?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, utterly confused. “I don't know why you continually insist on shutting me out — but I assure you, nothing productive will come out of this.” 
A bitter laugh escapes you, “Well, I don’t know why you insist on lying to me. But I'm not the one asking questions here.”
“What are you talking about?” His blood runs cold, gaze steely as he begins to tread carefully through this volley of words. 
“Did you think I'd never find out about the information you hid from me? That you ordered Luke and Kieran to lie to me about? How much have you hidden from me?” You seethe, the words spilling out of you like an overflowing kettle. 
His silence says it all. 
“Gosh, I guess it figures.” You don’t know whether to laugh in irony or cry in defeat. “The one person I trusted the most turned out to be a lying bastard… I don't know why I expected any better from you.” 
Sometimes you forget the person Sylus truly is, beyond the softness he’s shown to you in confidence. He may be flowing with unspoken affection for those he cares for, but in the end, he was still a criminal. The leader of the world’s most notorious crime syndicate, gifted in the art of deceit.  
But despite this, Sylus was still the person who took you in when you had nowhere else to go. The one person you trusted more than anyone in this world. Although his blossoming relationship with the hunter sprouted thorns over your friendship, you thought that you’d at least have total honesty. 
But your expectations crumble into disappointment. 
Sylus treats this exchange flippantly, at first, trying to stave off a fight he doesn’t want to have. But you’re so frustrated, you can’t even look him in the eye. Though his face gives away nothing, a storm was brewing inside as the consequences of his actions dawned on him.
And so, he decides to tell you the truth. 
He whispers your name carefully, like an apology in itself. “I'm sorry I lied to you. It was never my intention to deceive you, or to hold you back from finding answers — but I know I've hurt you nonetheless. But please, let’s not fight about this. Let me explain myself, first.”
You turn to him, waiting for an answer that will resolve the hurt in your heart. 
He doesn't know where to begin, so he starts with an explanation. 
When you first arrived, Sylus had done the research. Tried to find a way to send you — this anomaly who’d landed in his backyard — back to where she belonged. But all he could find were dead ends. As far as he knew, there was no way to send you back. You, this stranger, who he wanted out of his life. (Oh, how the thought hurts him now.)
Almost a year later, when the dimensional travel research came in — he immediately marked it as classified. A spur of the moment decision, where he blocked off your access to these files in fear of you discovering them. He excuses it as the danger, the potential recklessness that might possess you in the face of this revelation.
But the truth was: you were no longer just a stranger, you were Miss Secretary. A core part of his life, regardless of the short time you’d been here. Maybe if he was less in-deep, if the reality of you slipping from his grasp wasn’t so tangible, he wouldn’t have resorted to deceit.  But as it was, there was no way he was letting you go now. 
After all, the fear of lying to you was nothing compared to the fear of losing you forever. (But now, he may just lose you because of it.)
His explanations ring through your head, but all you hear are excuses. You fire back, words slow and tense like a string stretched thin. “You think you’re always right, but you’re not. That's not an excuse to withhold this from me. Living in the N109 Zone is a danger in itself, so what’s so different about this?” 
He scoffs, “The difference is that here, you are by my side. Do you think I can't protect you?”
“It's not your responsibility to protect me. In fact, I've long overstayed my welcome here.”
“Says who?” His eyes stare intently into yours, as he opens his arms, “Look around, dear. The only person who wants you to leave is you.”
He shakes his head, frustrated, “Do you even understand what could happen to you if you pursue this path? This not only blurs the boundary between our worlds, but the boundary between life and death. You could die before ever seeing a glimpse of your old world,” A frantic panic shadows his eyes as he moves forward, shaking you by the shoulders, almost begging you not to do this.
“At least I'd finally have some peace!” You spat out like a bullet that’s been lodged in your chest, a truth so hard to bear. Every day in this world has been an uphill battle, and no connection — whether familial or romantic — could make up for everything you had lost, or the closure you had seeked.
“You don’t mean that.” He murmurs in disbelief, the broken look on his face enough to have your shoulders slumped in guilt.
He tries — you know he does — to close the distance that you have placed. But a sadistic part of you likes to see him hurt, likes to see him struggle to repair what he unintentionally broke. But the other part of you just wants to spare yourself from any more hurt. 
You’ve never been the type to cling to your pride, but not even you can acquiesce to this when you feel so wronged.
“Do you even understand what this information means to me?” Your voice trembles in desperation, “You don’t know what it’s like to lose everything. I cared about my life. I had dreams, I had plans! My family and friends, they all probably think I’m missing or dead — when I'm just here, trying to get back to them. Yet you have the audacity to pretend like you did this for my sake?”
To him, your arrival was a miracle. Another surprise fate had thrown his way, something he was determined not to let slip from his grasp this time around.
But to you, your arrival in this world was your greatest tragedy.
In spite of it all, he puts his foot down, refusing to put your life on the line. “No, this is where I draw the line. You will not be pursuing this — this death wish, and that’s final.” He doesn’t realize how tightly he’s gripped your shoulders until he steps back from the sheer betrayal in your eyes. 
For the first time, you look at him as if he were no more than a stranger. Like you didn’t know him, hadn’t held him in your arms in his lowest moments. He could handle the hunter’s anger and distrust, your distance and aloofness. But your fear? It breaks him. 
Still, he swallows this heartbreak in favor of your safety. “Ignore me, hate me — I'm willing to put up with all of it so long as you don’t hurt yourself.” 
“Well, what fucking choice do I have when you control everything in this goddamned place?” You close your eyes and laugh bitterly, whispering, “I guess I never knew you as well as I thought I did.”
You walk away, and he knows better than to chase you. 
All this time, you had felt guilty for hurting him with your distance, for being an obstacle in the space that was meant for the hunter. Meanwhile, he had been the one barricading you from going back. But why? You cannot comprehend as to why he would be selfish enough to try and keep you here, not when he has everything he’s ever wanted.
Your thoughts continue to spiral as you return to your room– and for the first time, you feel more peace in the silence than in his company.
—————————————————————
He sits in the kitchen until early noon, stewing in disappointment and anger towards himself. 
Sylus is hailed for his ability to read people. His target’s desires, his enemy’s weaknesses, his loved ones’ needs. Yet when it comes to you, he finds himself lost at sea, in conflict with himself in a way he hasn’t been since he was unused to the world and its dangers. 
For the past millennia, he’d had a clear focus, a clear goal — until you strolled in and completely upended his world and everything he thought he knew. 
And what’s worse? He would let you do it as many times as you wanted. 
He knows this won’t be resolved so easily. Both of you are the type whose true feelings cannot be encapsulated by mere words. And when the storm inevitably rolls in, he’s afraid of what might be lost in the collateral. Because now, he was far too gone. 
Losing the sorceress had nearly broken him once, sent him on a search that had clouded his realization of the place you’d taken in his heart. The realization that he couldn’t bear to live without those mundane moments with you.
He knows, here and now, that he needs to fix this. Right his wrongs, clear things with the hunter, and maybe beg at your feet for you to look at him kindly again, after all he’s done to push you away. Before it's too late and he lets love slip from his grasp once again. 
—————————————————————
The ballroom is lit under the warm glow of the numerous chandeliers, casting light over your stone cold face. The opulent celebration — a business partner’s 40th wedding anniversary — was a complete juxtaposition to the storm raging inside you, uncaring to be approachable as you swirl your wine. 
In a twist of cruel irony, another event had delegated Sylus to bring a partner for the evening.
“We'll be leaving at 8 o’clock. Use my card for the dress — and treat yourself, while you’re at it.” He informed you, placing one of his cards on your desk along with the invitation. You raised an eyebrow in skepticism, he never spared time for frivolous events such as anniversaries, especially for people he barely knew.
“What, the hunter wasn’t free this time around?” You can’t help but ask, the snark evident in your tone.
He sighs and walks away, not even deigning that with a response. “Don’t be late.”
You shove the invite into a drawer, fully intent on ditching him. But alas — he added it to the calendar himself.
You were expecting him to hand you another half-hearted apology, to add to the growing pile that was already accumulating. Apology flowers left at your desk, paperwork submitted on time, deliveries of chocolates and your favorite food at the office, as his eyes suspiciously don’t meet yours. 
“If you think you can bribe me with material things, then you don’t know me very well,” You bitterly threw these words at him then, before clocking out for the day. But Sylus was never one to give up easily. 
Throughout the night, you feel the constant prickle of eyes on your back. At first, you assume it’s because of past events, people’s curiosity towards the secretary Sylus was so quick to defend. Your insecurity has you turning around each time — only to meet your employer’s gaze across the room, his eyes lingering on you even with the conversation in front of him. You scoff and look away.
Eventually, he approaches you with your coat in hand, “I believe it’s time to take our leave.”
“So early?” You reply, your words short and cutting when it's necessary to speak. 
“This night has already proven to be a disappointment. No reason to waste any more of our time.”
“I'll call for the driver then,” You’re about to dial when he plucks your phone out of your hand. 
“No need, I've already given him the night off. I'll be the one driving us home.” You squawk in indignance. Once again, this man has managed to corner you into a situation where you can’t escape him. “But, dinner first, shall we?” He extends a hand, which you resolutely walk past.
This seething ignorance follows him the whole way to the restaurant, into the dimly lit private room where the two of you are seated. Had it been any other occasion, you would’ve taken the time to appreciate the florals adorning the tables, the band playing jazz in the corner, and the delicious food. But your anger clouds your enjoyment, as you channel your frustrations into blindly ordering the most expensive items on the menu. 
It isn’t until you’re about halfway through the meal and down one bottle of wine when he finally gets you to speak up, “You can’t stay mad at me forever, darling.”
You take a heavy breath through your nose, “Maybe not, but I can certainly try.” You take another sip of your wine, burying your hurt and sorrow into another bottle. 
“You should realize that I'll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness.” 
“You broke my trust. You lied by omission, letting me continue on a wild goose chase when you were withholding the answers. Pretty words and extravagant gifts aren’t enough to earn my trust again.”
He gently reaches for your hand, threading his fingers through yours. “I know that, and I'm willing to do it all to earn your forgiveness. Not only for my deception, but all your hurts that have gone unnoticed.”
It’s too much, your chest feels too heavy with all that’s bearing down on you. Your voice takes a shaky note, “Sylus, all I want is to go home. That’s it.”
You put up the boundaries he never had the heart to, kept your heart at bay for both of your sakes. But now, he wants to pry open your walls, to reveal the fears that plague you at night.  
“I know, dear. I know. And if that’s what you truly want, then I promise to do everything in my power to help you —- so long as it doesn’t result in you getting hurt.” He looks into your eyes, grasping your hand tightly, “All I want is for you to feel safe in confiding in me again — to share your worries, your fears, as you once did. Allow me to carry the weight of your grief with you.”
He knows how much your arrival in this world hurt you, and he carries the guilt of being selfish enough to keep you here despite that.
“I can't anymore. It hurts too much to confide in you, to have a taste of what I know I'll never have. What we’ll never be.” You don’t know what possesses you to admit this yearning. Maybe the intoxication from the wine. Maybe his pleading eyes, or his sweet talk, saying all the right words you’ve wanted to hear for the longest time. But you don’t have any fight left in you to keep your distance. 
“What you can’t have? Darling, I would lay the world at your feet, if that was your wish,” He strokes your cheek with an intimacy surpassing friendship — but you haven’t been just friends in a while, have you? 
Maybe you both drank a little too much, scooted a little too close in the booth, got too caught up in each other's presence (something you've both been starved of for a while). You don’t know who moved first — but one of you ends up breaking. 
You share a starved kiss, hidden under the privacy of dim lights. All at once, the chatter of the restaurant and the rushing of cars dissipate, and all that's left in this universe is you and him and cosmic dust, orbiting around each other.
He explores your mouth, brows furrowed, hands gripping your waist and pulling you to his lap — as if he could meld the two of you by the flesh. It’s like a taste of heaven on your lips, tasting what you had yearned for, denied yourself for so long.
And for a moment you think: what was stopping you from being together? What was so wrong with this connection — so powerful that it wracked your body with shivers and tethered your soul to his presence? 
And then you remember: the hunter.
The reality of what's happening dawns on you, your eyes widening mid-kiss as you abruptly push him away, leaving him stunned; his tie crooked, lipstick staining the corner of his lips. 
Your hands tremble, still hazy from that searing kiss as you try to hold back the tears welling at your eyes, “Sylus —” You choke on your tears, unable to form the words. 
He grasps your face, breathing your name, trying to make sense of what just happened. 
“Sylus, oh god, what did we just do? I — fuck, what about the hunter?”
You run outside the private room, the voices of the restaurant and servers fading in the distance as you hastily escape from the implications of what you’ve just done. You try to hail a taxi when he catches up to you, calling your name.
He may be in front of you but all you see is the hunter, her face riddled with betrayal and hurt. Unlabeled as their relationship may be, she’s just spent the past few weeks opening her heart to someone only for it to be betrayed. By a new friend, at that.
You don’t know what possessed you to kiss him back, to deepen it and lose yourself in his lips. Love struck your head, ridding you of logic. Made you give in to the sin of yearning for something that isn’t yours. And now, you were facing the guilty consequences. 
“Sylus, we’ve done enough. Please, let’s just forget that any of this ever happened —-”
You’re cut off by his hollow laugh, his chin tilting down for his eyes to stare directly into yours. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”
“This is gonna ruin everything you’ve wished for, don’t you see?” You’re desperate for him to see the wrongdoing in your actions. 
“No, it’s you who doesn’t see what’s in front of you.” He grasps your wrist, pressing it to his chest, gentle in a way that doesn’t match the fire in his eyes. “Do you feel this heart? It races in your presence, melts at your touch — and if you disappeared? Well, it would simply stop beating.”
His other hand rests on your clavicle, fiddling with the necklace that has remained on your neck since the night of your birthday. He's a man who never says please, but for you he’ll get on his knees and plead.
His words, such heartfelt words that want to make you give in to all of his wishes are one thing. But his actions are another. You’ve witnessed firsthand the way he looks at her, melts in her presence. And you’re not ignorant to how she feels for him now, once heated frustration turning into the adoration she feels now. 
“How could I ever believe what you’re saying?” You feel almost hysterical, with the weight of your emotions crashing down on you. “You’re telling me that you’ve waited hundreds of years for the love of your life, the person bonded to your soul, and you’re going to push it all away for some fleeting connection?”
“Don’t reduce it to something as frivolous as that,” His face darkens, and he grips your hand tighter. “You know that what we have runs deeper than both of us can describe.”
”But what is it to a soulmate?” Your voice is despondent, resigned, “What is this compared to a bond transcending time and space? I know that regardless of what happens here, you’ll choose her. I know that very well, Sylus.” Your voice breaks as you reach your tipping point. 
His heart stills, because he himself doesn’t know what he can say to prove himself.
“Please don’t cry,” His voice softens at the sight of tears welling in your eyes, becoming all but putty in your hands. As of this moment, he knows there’s no convincing you, no making you believe that his words ring sincere and true. But he still can’t help but motion to wipe your tears, until you harshly block his hand.
The sorceress and the traveler, Miss Hunter and Miss Secretary. The dragon resting inside of him couldn’t bear to let go of his mate — after all, what was a centuries-old love compared to a new, fleeting connection? But the threads of fate had woven together to bring you to him, and the man he was now couldn’t bear to cut those ties.
You swallow the hurt, trying to put into words the burden that’s been weighing on you for so long, “I don't want to live in her shadow. I don't want to see this through when I know that one day, you’ll regret what you’ve lost.”
His face falls, and you feel a bit of satisfaction in seeing him carry even a smidgen of the hurt you’ve felt. But for the most part, it just hurts you to see him in pain. 
”You think so lowly of me, as if I don't have the autonomy to make my own decisions. But you need to face the facts, dear —- the only one holding back is you.” He’s laid his heart on a silver platter. The only obstacle here was your own doubts, your own insecurities.
You reel back as he steps closer, “So tell me, why do you prevent us from having what we both want?” He brushes his hand gently against your cheek.
You take a deep breath to say the words you know will end this for good. “Because I deserve better than to settle for second place in your heart.” You give him no time to refute before you turn around, heart bruised and battered. “Please, just leave. Don’t follow me. I don't wanna speak to you anymore, not tonight.”
“I’m not leaving you alone in this city —”
“I'll call someone.”
And that’s how it ends. 
You walk away, deciding to call Kieran to pick you up. You can’t bring yourself to be in close proximity with Sylus right now. You know he hasn’t actually left, hearing the conspicuous whirring of his motorcycle in the distance, engine alerting you to his presence from a mile away. In the corner of your eye, you can see Mephisto's red, beady eyes from the pedestrian light across the road, watching you. 
Still, you continue to walk aimlessly in this false notion of solitude, carrying your heels as you wait for Kieran to arrive. Now that the haze of alcohol has cleared, and you’ve let out all that was building up since the hunter’s arrival, you can’t help but feel hollow. Completely drained of all the anger and sorrow that you’d been carrying in the past few weeks. 
The streetlights cast these roads in an artificial light, the moonless sky and desolate streets feeling emptier under its warm glow. Midsummer was fast approaching, a period once marked by sunshine and cicadas. The N109 Zone was the antithesis to everything you’d ever known and cherished — and for a while, you thought that maybe it could be enough. 
But now, you yearn for the sun to rise after the long night you’ve endured. 
A familiar car eventually pulls up, the window rolled down for you to see the concern on Kieran’s face. But he says nothing as you enter, haggard and spent, with no energy to hide your woes or muster up small conversation. The lights of the city dissipate as you head into the outskirts of the N109 Zone, and you can only hope the darkness is enough to shroud the silent tears streaming down your face.
Kieran says nothing as you silently cry in the backseat, offering you the grace of asking no questions. 
—————————————————————
Sylus watches painfully as you walk away, ashamed by this seemingly forbidden act — when all he wants to do is pull you in for more. 
For the longest time, he'd been in this foolish delusion that things could be the same between him and the hunter. If he got her to remember, if he got her to open up. But the truth was, it’ll never be the same. Both of them were two entirely different people in this life, and now… now there was you. 
He had been desperately latching on to the love that was robbed from him centuries ago, and blinded himself to the way you’d fully taken root in his heart. 
Now, he needed to cut off these loose ends and find a way to make up for his mistakes, his indecision — and only then, could he even try to give you the love that you deserve. 
But the next few days prove to be a trial as the world seems keen on keeping the two of you apart. You have a talent for avoiding him, finding increasingly elaborate ways not to cross paths with him. And when an important mission arises, requiring him to go into the field himself, it felt like fate conspiring against him.
He finishes the mission in record time, completing it in detached efficiency as he ponders how to go about speaking with you — something he plans to do as soon as he returns home. But as he nears the entrance to the Onychinus headquarters, he can immediately sense that something is wrong.
A flash of light strikes through the heart of the N109 Zone — devoid of the accompanying rumble of thunder to be lightning — when dread fills his bones. He realizes he's seen this before. 
On the day that you arrived.
He rushes into the building, immediately approached by his lackeys reporting of traitors lurking in Onychinus, who thought it wise to attack the base in his absence. But all he can think about is finding you. 
He rushes to his office, finding the twins equally distressed, after they’d cleared the floor for traitors. “Boss, she’s gone.” 
“Explain it to me clearly. Who's gone?” His heart is racing — struck by horror at the blood pooling at your desk. He knows the answer, but he doesn’t want to confront the devastation about to tip over. 
“Miss Secretary. We apprehended the traitor, but there was a stray bullet and then — she just vanished.” 
Rage blinds him. Suddenly he wants vengeance, retribution, ordering his men to apprehend the shooter. All he can do is imprison and torture the man who dared shoot at the woman he loves, making him suffer for what he’s taken from you. 
But it's not nearly enough. Not when your absence is so palpable, not when you’ve left his life as easily as you entered it. 
In the end, your departure is but a whisper in the N109 Zone, leaving behind nothing but a pool of blood and a mark on his heart.
—————————————————————
are we gonna talk about the way it took me a whole car crash, the national elections, and a loved one's terminal illness to finally finish this chapter? maybe another day. but for now i'm going to play death and rebirth (i didn't let myself until i finished this LOL) i'll see you all on the next chapter where we pick up where this chapter left off and (maybe) see things from sylus’s perspective!
some things i’d like to share since i took off for a month
i've started a new term with new professors — and one of them is literally named GOJO??? my class calls him “professor gojo uwu~” behind his back its hilarious
hot chocolate does not mix well with vodka (don’t ask me how i know)
filipino lads artists are goated and i spend more money on their merch than on the actual game
i fear i’ve become too delusional because why does my dad’s doctor look like ZAYNE —
p.s. if any of you are interested, i've linked the playlist i made for this fic in the series masterlist :>
taglist — @mangooes @mentaltrouble2201 @animegamerfox @crazy-ink-artist @phisen @jeondyy @t4naiis @wifunozomi @munimunni @blessdunrest @rafayelridesfisheatsfish @paintedperidot @mansonofmadness @pillarofsnow @sylususeyourevolonmepls @angelichiaro @mephisto-with-a-knife @crimsonmarabou @hikaru-sama @flamedancer13 @tati-the-fangirl @ameili @poptrim @caramelizedpopcirn @cupid-gene @vvonunie @lunia-likes-pomegranet @iamawkwardandshy @tinyweebsstuff @astolary @vyntheria @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @velourmobius @beaconsxd @hon3yydew @kira-loves0905 @codedove @that-lost-one @colonelcalebs-pipsqueak @kaiii07 @bohoooitsme @everythingistaken00 @rmjace @red-raf-sy @goddexxluv @seris-the-amious @stellisangelicus-world @alhaith4ms @young-adult-summer @junrui
feel free to dm/comment on the series masterlist if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist 💕comment and reblog if you enjoyed!
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ce1estiall · 1 month ago
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flash forward
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summary uconn!paige x reader asking your girlfriend, “do you ever wish you were an athletic person?” masterlist.
warnings fluff, one sexual thought at the end :p
celestial notes back at it with the tiktok trends. also two fics in one day?? what!!! also tysm for 200 followers!!
“i want everything about you to fall out for good
talking about you, talking about us
and talking about you and i.” flash forward - le sserafim
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summer slowly started to enter at uconn, as the cloudy skies faded away and the temperature rising by the day. however basketball was something that was not going to leave for paige until the day she graduated.
paige had a practice earlier that saturday morning, but it was more conditioning than actual hoops. it didn’t help that the weather was 80° also when she stepped outside, practically drenched in sweat.
you were at your dorm, doom scrolling on social media in your bed. you were procrastinating an essay that was due tomorrow, when you get a text from paige.
p💗🏀: baby
p💗🏀: r u busy rn?
you click the notification confused. your fingers start typing
r: paige don’t u have practice rn?
p💗🏀: it just ended
p💗🏀: wanna grab some chipotle w me?
r: dont gotta tell me twice im getting ready
p💗🏀: i’ll be there in 10, love you
you flew out of bed and went straight to the bathroom, putting your hair in a slick back. easy, but simple hairstyle for any occasion. plus, you wanted the sun to shine on your curls. you grabbed one of paige’s hoodies that smelt like cologne and some baggy jeans. you paired it with some jordans and added your favorite necklace. it was a purple hawaiian flower, with 5 purple diamonds on the outside and a silver one representing the inside. paige has the same one, but in pink, representing your favorite colors. no wonder why it was your favorite.
you placed some pink lipgloss on when you heard knocking on your door. you opened the door with no surprise once you saw the 6ft blonde standing in front of you. her pin straight hair was down with a white essentials hoodie and some grey sweats. she wore some off-white air forces, and your matching pink necklace which glistened in the light. “you ready?” paige said, admiring you from head to toe while leaning on the door frame.
you nod, “yeah, let’s go.”
the drive was sweet, feeling the fresh air as your window was down, singing your heart out to your summer playlist as the blue sky spoke for itself. paige was attempting to not pay attention and only focus on driving, but failed when her favorite song came on, automatically turning up the volume.
paige parked the car, getting out and opening your door, treating you like a princess no matter the occasion. “why thank you!” you smiled, attempting to act all royalty. you held paige’s hand as you walked inside. “go find a table, i already know what you want.”
“aww, you know me so well.” you placed a hand across your chest, acting dramatic.
paige glared in a playful tone. “bro, you literally order the same thing every time.” you sent her a playful wink as you walked down to the table. you scrolled on tiktok and noticed a trend going around, where they asked their athletic significant other if they wished if they were ever an athletic person. you laughed, immediately pressing the “+” to start recording. just in time, paige came with 2 chipotle bowls, 2 cups, and a large bag of tortilla chips.
you secretly hit record, propping your phone on your drink when you decide to ask paige. “baby, do you ever wish you were an athletic person?”
paige was scooping her food onto a tortilla chip when she stared at you like you were insane. “is this a serious question? or is this a prank.”
you laughed. “yes p, just answer.”
she stopped touching her food and leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. she noticed the camera, knowing she was gonna have fun with this one. “i am an athletic person already, why do i have to wish for what i already am?”
you took a bite from your bowl. “i don’t know, i was just curious. i just thought you wanted more athlete. you can always improve in some area.”
paige glared with her icy blue eyes that could freeze anyone. “babe, they don’t call me paige buckets for no reason.”
you laughed silently to yourself. “what?” paige spoke, pretending to act clueless.
“paige, i’m fucking with you.” paige stared at the camera. “you know, you’re not very slick babe. i noticed that as i was about to eat.” paige leaned towards the table. “if my food is cold, i’m gonna be pissed.”
she took a bite of her food and nodded in satisfaction. “you’re lucky.”
“you know i love you, paige.” you smiled, eating some tortilla chips. you hit her hand playfully, which ended up with her pouting in protest.
you both finished eating and headed back to paige’s car. during the drive back to campus, you grabbed her hand, tracing small circle with your thumb. “you want dessert? my apology treat.”
paige looked up at you at the stop light with one idea in mind, as she gave a mischievous smile. “no, absolutely not.” you said sternly “my offers off the table now.”
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avis-writeshq · 11 months ago
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pairing: pre-seasons!spencer reid x sunshine!fem!reader genre: fluff, roommate au warnings: spencer and reader are roommates !!! reader wears Miss Dior. a/n: so very sorry for not posting in so long! got busy with extracurriculars and uni started up again :( big thank you to @januaryembrs and @hotchfiles for reading through this first !! wc: 1.04k you are on part 1! | part 2 | part 3
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Spencer officially joins the BAU late July once he completed his time at the FBI academy. It wasn’t necessarily fair for the other agents who hoped and prayed that they would be the lucky someone who would get to join the extremely elusive Behavioural Analysis Unit upon graduation, especially because he was the one who was chosen by name by the esteemed Jason Gideon. It also wasn’t necessarily fair to get home after four long egregious months of constant movement and firearm training to his roommate.
“You’re home!” 
He grimaces a little bit, dropping his heavy suitcases and bags at the doorway with a heavy sigh. “I’m exhausted.”
“I’d bet! You’ve got more things than you left with!” You’re beaming, taking his new FBI registered duffle bag out of his hands and into the living room. “Your hair is so long now.”
“I feel like a wet dog,” he grumbles, pushing the strands out of his face. “Were you okay with rent? I’ll pay you back and everything–”
You laugh, shaking your head and pulling him to sit on the couch by the wrists. “It’s okay, Spence, relax. One of my friends needed a temporary place to stay, so I really only needed to pay a couple weeks of rent by myself. You’re probably starving, aren’t you? I’ve got pizza on the way.”
His cheeks burn at the contact, his throat going dry and his head almost as if it’s about to explode. “Yeah.”
“Yeah,” you repeat, beaming. Your fingers tug at the FBI windbreaker he’s sporting– big on his shoulders and long at the hips. “This is new. You went shopping without me?”
“Gideon insisted I get more FBI uniform,” he explains hurriedly, “he said it’d made me feel more ‘official’. They didn’t have any more in my size.”
“It’s cute! Give us a spin, Walter.” 
He does it half-begrudgingly, rising from the couch pillows and doing an awkward spin. He used to be used to it, before he went away for four months to train at the academy. He’ll need to get re-used to it, he supposes. 
“You look very official,” you say with genuinity, grinning ear to ear. “Got anything else?”
His nose scrunches in distaste as he sits back down. “There’s meant to be more?”
“The uniform isn’t just a jacket, is it?” You ask with furrowed brows. “The bag is a nice touch, though.”
“They said that I should get the polo, but I don’t think I’d ever wear it,” he explains, going through his things. They’d all need a good wash, he decides, throwing his clothes onto the floor. “There isn’t a uniform policy at the BAU, though. Just to be clean and tidy.”
“You’re already a pro at that, aren’t you, Walter?” 
His cheeks glow at your jest and he kicks at the pile of clothes at his feet. “You don’t think I’m weird, do you?”
“Weird for… being clean and tidy?” You blink, poking at his shoulder. “If that’s what weird is, then I hope there are a lot of other guys who are weird.”
“That’s an oxymoron.”
“Exactly.” He catches your smile as you speak. “It’s not a bad thing to be different. You know that, don’t you?”
“In theory,” he responds vaguely.
You huff, “You ought to remember it with that big brain of yours.”
“There’s no significant correlation between brain size and intelligence,” Spencer reminds you again, shrugging his jacket off. “You should remember that, too.”
*** 
It’s an incredibly cold November morning, just a couple of days after Halloween, and Spencer has been tearing up and down the apartment in search of his windbreaker. The team are set for Alaska this time around, and though his sweaters and wool socks provide some warmth, it was nothing compared to the inner pockets of his FBI assigned windbreaker that hold heat warmers. 
“Have you seen it?” He asks hurriedly, rushing through the living room. “I need to leave in three minutes or I’ll miss my train–”
“Seen what?” You ask, frowning as you fill his travel mug with hot coffee and sugar. “What are you looking for?”
“My jacket,” he explains halfheartedly. “You know the one.”
You let out a breath of a laugh, moving to the bathroom and pulling it off the hook. “Spencer?”
He visibly relaxes, taking it from your hands with a hint of embarrassment. “Oh.”
“You let me borrow it after you picked me up from the Halloween party, don’t you remember?” The corners of your lips quirk upwards in jest as his expression shifts into that of realisation. “I put it behind the door so that you could find it easier. Not that it helped, clearly.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles, cheeks pink in the light. “Thank you. See you later.”
“See you later,” you agree, and he’s already out the door, his jacket and travel mug in tow.
*** 
“Good morning,” JJ says, her bright blue eyes drowsy with sleep despite her greeting. “Are you guys ready to go?”
Spencer nods, zipping up the windbreaker and snapping the buttons together. Even in Virginia it’s still freezing. He doesn’t want to imagine how cold it’d be in Alaska. 
“Someone smells nice,” JJ chirps with a grin. “Is that– is that Miss Dior?”
“What?” Spencer sniffs, frowning. “Who?”
“The perfume?” She repeats the name, her brows flushed together. “I’m not crazy.”
“Is that Miss Dior?” Hotch asks in bemusement, sniffing the air. He looks at Jennifer with a mix of appreciation and a nod to say good taste. “Haley used to wear it all through college.”
“I’m not wearing it,” JJ insists, shaking her head with a laugh. “Spence?”
He’s barely paying attention to the conversation, frantically Googling an image of whatever the hell Miss Dior is. He’s met with the familiar rectangular bottle with pink liquid and a bow on the neck, something that he’s seen on your dresser multiple times. 
“My roommate,” he groans, covering his face with the palms of his hands. “She borrowed my jacket a couple days ago.”
“Ooh, a lady friend,” JJ snickers, “and she borrowed your jacket. How gentlemanly of you.”
Spencer sends you a long text message about the importance of not spraying perfume on clothes once he gets off the jet.
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reblogs are always appreciated !!
you are on part 1! | part 2 | part 3
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zepskies · 7 months ago
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Wake Up Call
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Pairing: Sam Winchester x F. Reader
Summary: Sam often gets up before you in the morning. He enjoys luring you into the waking world. 
AN: Surprise! After writing Rest for Dean, equal parts hurt/comfort and fluff, I’ve been itching to do some “early morning” fluff for Sam…
Word Count: 700
Warnings: 18+ only for smuttishness. Fluff and feels.
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Unlike Dean, Sam isn’t one to be sentimental.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. On the contrary, he hordes and treasures memories in his mind, rather than on his shelves.
It also means he’s not one to collect things just to have them. There has to be a practical use, like the way good books can be read again. Even his dad’s journal is a useful resource, not just a record of the man’s most significant words, and in some ways, his legacy.
Sam’s room is function, not fluff.
That is, until you invaded.
Well, less invaded, and more invited, but still. He sees traces of you everywhere, in the half-drunken mugs of coffee and tea piling up across his nightstand; in the shelves you’ve put up to showcase his books, alongside yours (complete with “cute” little bookends you found at a flea market in town); and in the extra fuzzy blankets and smaller pillows you’ve bought, not only because they’re comfortable, but because they help “pull the room together,” in your words.
Sam had to snort at that one. Somehow, he doesn’t think a few decorative pillows and a lamp from Goodwill are going to make a windowless bedroom in a bunker look like a page out of a Pottery Barn catalog.
But he humored you then, with the same smile he looks down on you with now. It's early in the morning as he sits up beside you in bed with his coffee. He has a fresh mug ready for you on the nightstand. (He's also brought the army of old ones back to the kitchen sink.)
He spares a moment from his laptop to brush your hair away from your cheek as you sleep. His hand drifts down your bare shoulder, as far as he can reach down your arm. Finally, his touch stirs you. Your breathing shifts with a little hum as you creep closer to wakefulness.  
“Awake already?” you grumble at him.
“Yeah. Waiting for you.”
“Hnnmmmmm.”
Sam smiles. You can be so grumpy in the morning.
He takes another sip of his coffee and sets aside his mug and his laptop. He gets up just to raise his side of the blankets, sliding back in and slotting himself behind you. You sigh after his arm has slipped beneath your head, and the other around your waist, pulling you comfortably warm against his chest.
He issues his first plan of attack, laying soft kisses behind your ear, along your jaw. Even with your eyes closed, you smile as his long hair tickles your cheek. He pays special attention to your pulse point, nipping and sucking gently. A shiver tingles down your spine.
“No fair,” you breathe out, reaching back a hand to card through his hair. Your fingers tangle in the dark strands as he smiles against your skin.
He continues his tantalizing path down your neck. His hand moves under the sheets, under your borrowed sleep shirt. His thumb brushes the underside of your breast, earning a pleased hum from you. It encourages him to palm the round softness with his big hand, pebbling the nipple under his nimble, rolling fingers.
Uttering a soft whine, you begin to subtly writhe against him. Your ass presses back into him, accidentally-on-purpose. His arousal rises to meet you, a low-burning fire crackling to life.
Sam’s kisses become more insistent with the brush of his tongue against your skin. His hand moves from playing with your breast, down the soft length of your body. Every move is a form of delicious persuasion, especially when his fingers slip under the waistband of your panties.   
“You awake yet?” Sam teases, his lips moving against your cheek.
Your smile grows. You finally open your eyes and tangle your leg with his under the covers.
“If I’m not, this is one hell of a dream,” comes your cheeky reply.
Sam chuckles. His fingers dip between your legs, into your wet heat. You suck in a breath.
His voice in your ear is enough to raise the hair on your arms.
“Baby, we haven’t even started yet.”
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AN: 😘 Hope you enjoy! I haven't written Sam in a while, but I do love him too. 💜
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heartlilith · 1 year ago
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Solar Return Observations
👠Having a Scorpio Ascendent in your SRC indicates that you’ll change a lot throughout the year, you’ll be completely unrecognizable by the time your next birthday comes around. Whether that be your attitude, your physical appearance, your surroundings, or all 3. You’re going to be experiencing significant change.
👠Jupiter in the 10th house means you’ll be getting opportunity after opportunity in your career and your public life
👠Any planet conjunct your ascendent or in the 1st house of your SRC means you’re going to embody that planet for the year:
Leo Mars in the 1st house: You’re going to be more confident, more energetic, gaining more attention this year, and more motivated to invest in yourself or doing things for your benefit
Venus conjunct ASC: More polite this year, taking care of your physical appearance, dressing like your ASC, finding the beauty in your surroundings, more interested in Venusian things, glowing up, being seen as more beautiful and/or feminine
Taurus Jupiter in the 1st: Attracting more wealth, eating more food, attracting luxurious things, more self confident, attracting opportunities that bring wealth and Venusian things, being seen as abundant and blessed
Pluto in the 1st: Embodying change, transforming your physical look and your attitude, changing your surroundings, changing people you come in contact with, being seen as powerful and mysterious
Neptune conjunct ASC: Embodying an angel, angelic like qualities, being projected on, people unable to figure you out, looking at the world with rose colored glasses, being an enigma, attracting people who need help, more spiritual, psychic gifts are at an all time high
👠Sun/Moon/Chart Ruler in the 12th house is asking you to do more things alone this year, spend time with yourself. You’ll need more recharging this year and your social battery may be low.
👠Having a Capricorn rising in your SRC means you’ll come out of the year stronger and more mature. This year will test you and make you grow. It’ll be uncomfortable but worth it in the end.
👠Having your Chart Ruler or personal planets in the 5th house indicates a year that’s fun, exploring hobbies, going on dates, invitations to social gatherings. A 5th house prominent year is a great year to heal your inner child.
👠Neptune in the 8th house people need to watch out for addictions this year. Whether that be drugs, food, gambling, sex, etc. Watch for obsessiveness - obsessions can easily become addictions
👠Mars trine Jupiter is a very abundant aspect. What you give you will receive in 10 fold. 
👠Planets in the 10th house shine in your SRC, since the MC is the highest part of the chart. 
👠Pay attention to planets in harsh aspect to your MC:
Venus/MC - being seen as shallow, having jealous coworkers, feeling like you don’t deserve your job or social status, being walked all over, “imposter syndrome”, people gossiping about your love life/significant other, public work romances 
Moon/MC - being seen as moody, having problems with feminine energies at the workplace, letting emotions get in the way of your work, not being able to hide emotions, people reading you easily
Mars/MC - having problems with authority/masculine energies, not feeling motivated at work, procrastination, being seen as problematic and argumentative
Pluto in the 7th house: Attracting obsessive people this year, being obsessive over people this year. Transforming through relationships and transforming others. Meeting someone that changes your life for better or for worse, coming out of the year with different standards in regards to love
👠Any planet conjunct your POF is going to be significant. POF naturally brings out the positive traits in a planet even if it's malefic. Check the house these conjunctions are in to see what blessings could be coming your way this year.
👠Years where you have the same rising sign as your natal chart makes for a more comfortable and familiar year
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tarotwithavi · 8 months ago
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Which Disney princess would you be and why?
Timeless reading
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
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**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
How to choose a pile?
Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.
This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest!
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I am currently running short on funds and am unable to pay my rent, I would really appreciate some help 🙏🏻
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 🫶🏻💞
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 1
If you were to embody a Disney princess, you'd likely resonate deeply with Mulan and Moana.
Starting with Mulan, there’s a natural connection here due to your deep respect and love for your family and culture. Just like Mulan, you feel a strong responsibility to protect and honor your family. This could mean taking on the role of looking after your father, possibly even working with him or supporting his business. You don’t see these responsibilities as burdens, but rather as an honor, much like Mulan stepping up to protect her father and family when they needed her the most. You have that same fire within you—a drive that makes you stand up for the people you care about.
Your path, like Moana’s, is not confined by societal expectations. You’re someone who values independence and is ready to challenge the limits of what others think you should be or do. You’re always learning, always growing, and you’re not content with just “following the rules.” You want to make your own path, just as Moana did when she set out on her journey across the ocean, even though her entire village expected her to stay put. There's a deep explorer within you, someone who wants to experience life beyond traditional boundaries and limitations.
One thing that truly defines you is your straightforwardness. You’re not one to dance around the point you say what you mean, directly and with confidence. You may even have a sharp or deep voice that demands respect and conveys authority. People know where they stand with you, and that honesty is something that draws others to you and gains their respect.
Your courageous nature shines through in every part of your life. You’re not afraid to take the lead, to stand up for what’s right, and to go after your goals no matter how long it may take. In many ways, you have a warrior spirit; you’re determined, ambitious, and won’t settle for anything less than what you’ve dreamed of achieving. Like Mulan on the battlefield and Moana on her journey across the sea, you face challenges head-on, fully committed to coming out victorious.
This fierce independence is a core part of who you are, and it shows in your reluctance to rely on others for help. You’ve learned, maybe from a young age, to take responsibility for your own life and decisions. It’s possible you’ve had significant responsibilities from a young age, perhaps as the eldest child or someone others depended on, which has made you resourceful and strong. Now, you’re in a place where you’re even more eager to carve your own path and live life on your terms.
Curiosity and intelligence are two of your standout traits. You’re someone who questions everything, eager to understand the world in a deep way, and you don’t just accept things at face value. This makes you a natural explorer, someone constantly learning and searching for meaning, whether it’s through intellectual pursuits, travel, or self-discovery. You might have a fire or air sign as your Sun, Moon, or Rising.
Random things that may resonate : maroon red, eldest daughter, pretty handsome, short or medium height, group of 3 friends, novels/books, glasses, round eyes, parrot, hats.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 2
If you were to embody a Disney princess, Rapunzel would be a perfect match for you. There’s something about your life journey that aligns with hers a sense of yearning for freedom, adventure, and the desire to find something truly meaningful.
From a young age, you may have felt like you were held back, perhaps by the restrictions of family or the walls of your own home. Like Rapunzel, you sensed that there was a big, exciting world beyond the limits of your surroundings, but you might not have been allowed to step out and explore on your own. It’s possible that you had strict parents or a family that wanted to keep you close and safe, but this may have also made you feel confined. You’ve always known there’s more to life and have longed for the chance to experience it firsthand.
You have many dreams and aspirations, which fuels your journey to find something truly meaningful. Some of you may be in search of your life purpose or even a career that will make you feel alive and fulfilled. There’s a deep sense within you that you’re meant for greatness, but at times, you may feel restricted by family expectations or responsibilities. This drive for something greater keeps pushing you forward, even when it feels challenging to break free from those limitations.
Just as Rapunzel treasured her hair, it seems that you also hold a deep connection to yours. Whether it’s long, well-cared-for, or something you’re known for, your hair might even reflect how you’re feeling. In times of transformation or emotional shifts, you might experiment with your hair, changing it up to mark a new beginning. It’s almost as if your hair is a symbol of your personal growth, a reflection of your resilience, and the beauty that lies within you.
You may feel a bit of a distance in your relationship with your parents or family. It’s not that there’s a lack of love; rather, there may be an invisible barrier that makes true connection challenging. Like Rapunzel, you might feel like you’re waiting for the day when you can break free of these unseen walls and find that sense of freedom and individuality. This may be why you’re drawn to finding your own path, something that defines you and allows you to be yourself without restrictions.
Creativity and spontaneity are other traits that connect you to Rapunzel. You have a spark of imagination and a playful side, someone who can turn any situation into an adventure. Whether it’s through art, ideas, or even just the way you approach life, you know how to make things vibrant and alive. This ability to bring color and joy into the world is something that makes you truly special. Your story is one of discovering yourself, breaking free from constraints, and finding a purpose that fills you with joy. Like Rapunzel, you’re on a journey to step into the world and make it your own, letting nothing hold you back. You have the courage, the creativity, and the strength to shine, and once you step out into your own light, there’s no limit to the magic you’ll create.
Random messages that may resonate: water sign, arts or art major, curly hair, autumn, Taurus, white and red dresses, blindfolded, moving away, knight in shining Armor.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 3
Like Belle, you are someone who values knowledge and understanding. You have a deep appreciation for learning and personal growth, which drives you to explore new ideas and experiences. Just as Belle is often found with her nose in a book, you, too, are likely someone who seeks wisdom and insight, eager to expand your horizons. This thirst for knowledge not only enriches your life but also sets you apart from those around you, much like Belle’s unique perspective in her village.
Your ability to work well with others suggests that you have a collaborative spirit. You understand the importance of teamwork and the power of building relationships. Whether it's through family, friends, or colleagues, you recognize that great things can be achieved when people come together. Just as Belle works with the enchanted objects in the castle, you thrive in environments where you can connect and collaborate, bringing your talents to the table to create something beautiful and meaningful.
However, your journey also includes a sense of transition and growth. You might have experienced significant changes in your life, moving away from familiar surroundings or letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve you. This willingness to embrace change is a sign of your strength. Much like Belle leaving her home for the Beast’s castle, you are open to new experiences that lead to personal transformation.
You possess a nurturing quality, reflecting the warmth and care that Belle shows to those she loves. You likely have a deep sense of empathy, wanting to uplift and support others. This makes you a source of comfort for those around you, and people naturally gravitate toward your kind heart. Just as Belle helps the Beast see the beauty within himself, you have a way of bringing out the best in others, showing them that they are worthy of love and respect.
At the same time, you may find yourself in moments of solitude or deep reflection. Just as Belle often finds solace in her own thoughts, you may cherish your alone time, using it as a way to gain insight into yourself and the world around you. This introspective side allows you to process your experiences, helping you grow into a more well-rounded individual. It’s during these quiet moments that you gain clarity and strengthen your inner resolve.
Your willingness to embrace transformation indicates that you’re not afraid to face challenges head-on. Just as Belle navigates the complexities of her relationship with the Beast, you have the courage to confront difficult situations and seek growth through them. You understand that change can be uncomfortable, but it is often necessary for evolution. This resilience speaks volumes about your character.
Family and legacy are also important themes in your life. Just as Belle values her relationship with her father, you may find that family plays a significant role in shaping who you are. You likely cherish the bonds you have with loved ones and aspire to build a life filled with love and stability. Your dedication to those you care about reflects a desire for lasting connections, much like the legacy that Belle seeks to create in her own life.
However, your journey isn’t without its challenges. Like Belle, who faces conflicts with both societal expectations and personal struggles, you might encounter obstacles that test your determination. You may find yourself in situations where you need to stand your ground and assert your beliefs, navigating conflicts with grace and understanding. Your ability to confront these struggles with poise sets you apart and showcases your inner strength.
Random things that may resonate : ponds/lakes, leadership qualities, physically attractive, lonely, transformative, fever or headaches, competition.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
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writerunnamed · 9 months ago
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note: This is something I've wanted to write for a while but I am well aware that not everyone will be into it. There are a few stories I want to tell that aren't the norm so I decided to start this nameless blog to tell them. I am not tagging anyone, if you find it then you find it. xo Joel(stepdad), significant age gap, female reader. 18+ legal, reader is 20 (warnings: pov sex, Joel spits on the 😸, boobie play, really inappropriate dirty talk, an unused sex toy [will make an appearance in another chapter], female masturbation, daddy kink, unfit parent) 5.6k word count masterlist • series masterlist • part 2
He takes up so much space, and it wasn’t just physically. He took up space emotionally, mentally. Mentally most of all. Your thoughts always drifted back to him. Cyclical. An elliptical pattern making him the top of every list you’d go through in your head. He seemed to know it too, in a stoic, quiet, largely unsettling way. Older, attractive men tended to do that. 
It started during that in-between time, when summer, losing your job, and having to move back home pushed you to figure out what the fuck you actually wanted to do with your life seemed to come together like the planets aligning. The precipice of a turning point, a ticking clock counting down the days until your childhood bedroom would be turned into a gym, or an office, or a guest bedroom. The lukewarm welcome from your mother would ice over and you’d really have to get your shit together. 
Your mother was what people who didn’t know her would call ‘a free spirit’, what you called her, was a fucking mess. 
Your earliest memories consist of having to remind her to buy milk or to pay the bill because the electricity had turned off while watching cartoons in front of the tiny, living room tv. You’d had to remind her, in not so many words, that she was the mother, and you were the child. 
To your friends, she was the cool mom. The party mom. Your house was the place to be because she didn’t ask questions, she left her cigarettes unattended and didn’t mind if a few went missing. She kept the bar cart stocked, even if there was nothing but flies in the cupboard and nothing but half-empty condiment bottles in the fridge. Your friends loved it. 
She flirted with the boys your age, she gave sex tips to the girls. 
You smiled when they congratulated you on having the cool mom, and when they all went home, you retreated and pretended to be happy. 
Joel settled her down. Met her in a bar and moved in quick. He came into the picture when you were fifteen and you were almost sure he’d be just like the rest of the lovers she’d taken over the years. You’d given the whole thing six months. Half a year for him to see what a fucking disaster she was. Six months to be a fucking creep, to cheat or get cheated on. 
The only differences you could clock at first were that he was self-employed, and marginally better looking than his predecessors.
He was firmer though, less malleable than the others she’d brought around, he seemed immune to her charms and that only inflamed her. It made her desperate for his approval and his attention. She would throw a tantrum, or play one of her mind games but he’d never rise to her bait. He was patient for the most part, until he hit his breaking point and his temper reared its head. A temper only she seemed to bring out in him. 
To you, it was pathetic. 
He didn’t try with you though, there was no flattery or strong hand, only a silent respect. In a sense, he treated you as the adult, and her as the child. It worked for you, if he’d expected you to call him dad he would have been laughed at mercilessly and he seemed to know this. 
The disturbing part was his respect and his healthy avoidance of you worked its own kind of magic. It made him an enigma, made you curious as to what he got out of the whole thing. A home, sure. A woman who was obsessed with him, yes. Sex–yes. You heard it enough for it to turn your stomach. By the sounds of it, he knew what he was doing.
The thought sickened the healthy part of your brain. The other part though, the part flooding your body with hormones, making it come to life with curiously intense sexual feelings, that part wanted to know what it was he was so good at. How could he pull those sounds out of anyone? It was easier to imagine him with some faceless woman. 
It was shameful to imagine yourself. 
The thought–although enough to fuel a desperate journey of self-exploration–always filled you with an insurmountable guilt. 
For those first few years you could barely look at him. Your mother took it as a healthy dose of teenage rebellion. That only aggravated you more. She never asked questions, never dug to see what the cause of your obvious distaste for her partner was about and so again, you retreated. He, however, kept to the outs of your path. He followed your lead, he let you control any and every part of all of your interactions. He didn’t ask questions. He kept the lights on. He kept the fridge full. 
He burrowed his way in, whether you liked it or not. 
When you turned eighteen, you moved out. He helped, did his ‘fatherly’ duties and moved you into the apartment, he urged your mother to take you on an extensive grocery trip, spoke to your landlord about the safety of the building. You supposed you should have been grateful, you should have said thank you, given him some sort of acknowledgement that you appreciated his help but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Instead you said your mumbling goodbyes, and promptly closed the door on them. Neither of them complained. 
The euphoria of venturing out on your own had lost its shine depressingly quick. A string of chronically unserious boyfriends came and went, the rent climbed higher than you could keep up with, and while already living paycheck to paycheck, you lost your job. Your cellphone had taken the brunt of your frustration at having to call your mother, begging her to let you come back home while you got back on your feet a little more than two years after you’d left. 
Your teeth gnawed at your lips, your fingernails dug into the skin around your cuticles in the attempt to keep your voice sweet and pleading, in the end it was his voice that you’d heard in the background, telling–no, commanding her to say yes. That he would be your champion twisted at your insides. Maybe a small, healthy part of you hoped he’d put up a fight, tell you that you were too old to be coming back home and that you had to figure it out on your own like an adult. 
A healthy part of you hoped that he’d save you again, only from yourself. Hanging up with a heavy, resigned sigh, you set about starting the trek home, ignoring the swirling mess of annoyance, confusion, and perverse glee in your stomach. 
-
The first few days were spent in a depressive episode, a seemingly inescapable loop of sleeping in late, leaving your room only when the house was empty to raid the kitchen for something to eat, scrolling mindlessly–blindly–on your phone and then staying up way too late only to do it all over again. 
They didn’t bother you, but if the annoyed sighs and narrowed eyes from your mother were anything to go by, the talk was coming soon. After the third day of the cycle, you circumvent it and wake up early-ish to shower and dress in something other than ratty old sweats long forgotten by an ex you couldn’t quite remember. 
You came down to find Joel sitting at the kitchen table. His eyes tracked the lines of you, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. 
Your heart leapt. He should have been at work by now. 
“Good morning.” It came out croaky, your voice almost reluctant to come out. 
“Mornin’.” His hair was slicked back, the gray almost sparkling in the golden light. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. His eyes were so intense, you found yourself stuck in place, like a deer in headlights and that ever present, deep-seeded anger reared its head. It was irrational that he should frustrate you so much with his calm presence. 
“Coffee’s fresh, if you want some.” He jut his chin out to the pot, lowering his eyes to his paper once more. Once his gaze had shifted, you found you could breathe again. You mumbled a thanks and moved to pour yourself a cup, thankful, if unsure why, to focus on something concrete instead of abstract self-reflection.
“Your mama’s gon’ be late tonight. I thought I could pick up a pizza on the way home.” He says it offhand and again, your heart races. 
“Whatever.” You scrunch your face up in annoyance, it sounded like such a bullshit, teen response. He doesn’t comment on it, and that somehow makes it worse. You beat yourself about it as you root around in the fridge for the milk. The cereal you liked was in the top cupboard, and you’re not quite tall enough to reach it. 
You heard his chair scoot back and then suddenly he’s there, beside you, pressed up tight. You follow the long line of his throat as he stares up, reaching the box with ease while one big, warm hand lands on your lower back. He smells like the laundry detergent your mother insists on buying mixed with something else. Manly, smoky, with coffee laced through. Your cunt clenches nonconsensually as he stands there and stares down at you, his whole front pressed against your side, his hand still holding your lower back. Your mouth hangs open, stupidly, and he raises an eyebrow again forcing something to kickstart deep in your gut. 
“You okay there babygirl?” The endearment feels unwholesome.
It triggers something strange, strengthening the underlying conflict for him. There’s a lilt in his tone you don’t like, maybe because deep down you like it too much. Maybe you don’t want to admit that, or analyze anything about what the fuck is happening in your body. In your psyche. 
“Yeah.” You step out of his bubble, barely managing not to trip over yourself in your haste to get away and put a healthy distance between you. 
“Yes. Thank you.” You take a deep breath, pressing your lips together tight in what you hope to God is a neutral expression. 
He lets out a bemused huff through his nose, a mischief in his eyes shining out at you that you’ve never seen directed at you. You’ve seen it used on your mom. You’ve seen her go giggly and flirty whenever he looked at her like that. A half-formed escape plan starts to form but he saves you from the need, he puts his things in the dishwasher, and nods his head in goodbye. 
You practically hold your breath until you hear his truck rumble out of the driveway, and down the street. 
-
You manage to avoid him for a few days, staying out late catching up with friends, or feigning a need for rest. You’ve convinced your mother that your days are now spent job hunting, and for the most part they are. You leave in the morning, avoiding any and all contact and you get home late, creeping up the stairs much like you did in your teens even though you’d really never needed to. Your mother never enforced a curfew, and when Joel joined the picture, he didn’t pry. 
The luck didn’t last though, you got over-confident. He was sprawled out on the sofa, up uncharacteristically late one night when you padded through the house. 
“You’re up late.” You quickly check the accusatory tone, “Don’t you have to get up early?” Better, it comes out more concerned than annoyed and he nods. He wore a threadbare t-shirt, the fabric of it having been through the wash too many times to keep its shape. Light, gray sweats were stretched almost obscenely tight over his spread thighs, pooling at his crotch from being shoved up by the couch. 
“Couldn’t sleep. Come sit, we can watch some tv.” He pats the seat next to him and despite the deep desire to retreat into the Joel-free haven of your bedroom, you cannot seem to disobey him. 
You settle beside him on the couch, a little further away than was necessary. He chuckles softly. 
“I ain’t gonna bite you, girl. Not unless you ask nicely.” 
You pretend you don’t hear it, choosing instead to compartmentalize whatever game he’s playing and stare at the screen. He flips through the channels, settling on one thing for a few minutes before moving to something else until he finds a movie that’s already close to midway. There’s an electricity in the air, something about him galvanizing the space between you, charging it enough to make the hairs on your arms stand on end. You frown to yourself, barely paying attention while fighting an increasingly confusing mental battle. Why is it so hard to be around him? Why does he inspire such scorn? Is it scorn at all?
You rub at your eyes, scrubbing your hands down your face in a feeble attempt to wipe the slate clean. 
He’s just a man, a man your mother had chosen and for better or worse they seem to work. She is happy with him and he is seemingly happy with her, why then is it so hard to accept him for what he is? Something slithers around in your brain, something that laughs darkly, something pulsing through the network of thoughts and ideas that threatens to crack open your subconscious and throw it right in your face. 
“Well now, ain’t that somethin’?” You pull your hands away from your face to see a very explicit scene playing out on the screen. Heat floods every inch of your body. 
“Almost looks like she’s enjoyin’ herself.” He leaves it on, and you feel stuck, your body betraying you yet again to see the way the woman on screen moans wantonly while under a very handsome man. You let out a non-committal sound, teetering on the edge of madness. You scold yourself, you are an adult, an adult that has had sex before and this isn’t even real. 
“Looks like fake bullshit to me.” The strength in your voice lends credence to the illusion that you aren’t affected. He laughs, calm and completely at ease and that only pulls the anger to the forefront again. 
“They can’t show the real stuff on these channels. If it were real, he’d be doin’ what she needs.” 
“And what’s that?” It comes out before you can stop it. 
“Well,” He smiles to himself, winning a duel you hadn’t even known you were fighting. 
“If it were real, he’d be pressin’ on her clit, he’d be makin’ sure she felt every inch of him and make her take his cock like a good girl.” You let out a heavy breath, half shocked, half grateful it wasn’t a whimper. 
Warning bells go off in your head, just as a heartbeat starts in your cunt because you can see it. You can see him. His face twisted up in pleasure but cocky, his hips moving, his thumb dipped into your mouth and then swirling around your clit. He smiles at catching you looking at his hands and you want to yell at him. You want to smack him across the face and kick him in the balls for saying something like that to you, his partner's daughter, but you don’t. 
Your body almost catapults you out of your seat. Barely unintelligible words come out, something about needing sleep, about being tired and then you hightailed it out of there like a bat out of hell. 
The shower was cold enough to make your teeth chatter, but it did nothing to cool the heat blooming in your core and it was with a terrifying desperation that you ground against your fingers. The slick pooling at the mouth of your pussy was enough to feel even with the water washing everything away except your shame. 
You bit your tongue to keep from moaning out the taboo and entirely inappropriate name you were dying to say out loud. His firm thighs spread on that couch filled your mind, the calloused, work-roughened hands you could practically feel on your hips, on your thighs. You could feel them holding and spreading your legs open so he could make you make those same noises you’d heard over the years. Make you take it like a good girl, his good girl. 
You came with a shudder, sagging against the chilly tile. You warmed the water with a sigh, disappointed and ashamed with yourself, trying, and failing, to put the whole thing out of your mind. 
-
You doubled down on avoiding him after that. 
Your mother worked most of the time but when she was home, things were easier. He reverted to the healthy avoidance, the proverbial disinterest that she didn’t seem to have a problem with. You still heard them some nights, the bed creaking, throaty cries, deep grunts but now they haunted you in a different way. Now you heard his words on that couch and couldn’t help but picture all manner of unsavory things that both disgusted and thrilled you. 
Being unemployed didn’t help. There was nothing to keep you out of the house most of the day, and there were only so many places that would accept you looking for a job in person. 
There was only so much time you could spend with friends too, they had their own lives and jobs and relationships. Too busy to save you from unwanted free time. 
Old habits resurface, and you retreat within yourself while pushing yourself harder. A job would fix things enough to help, you could save up enough money to leave for good and take yourself out of the equation. 
-
The powers that be momentarily take pity on you, and after what seems like a lifetime's worth of job hunting you blessedly get a call back. It’s a part time job, but at this point beggars can’t exactly be choosers. It’s a steady, if insufficient source of income that hadn’t been available to you before. Determined, you buckle down, you channel every guidance counselor you’ve ever had and ace the fuck out of that interview.
It’s not taxing work, but you put your head down and focus with the hope that if you worked hard enough, if you made a good enough impression, made yourself indispensable they’d throw you enough shifts to make up a full time job. 
It helps. Time spent away from the house, from your mothers dried up welcome, from Joel altogether genuinely helps. You feel a bit lighter, less guilty, less prone to imagine the unimaginable. You find comfort in the absence of self-imposed temptation. There is peace in the mindless work, in the life outside of the house that no longer feels like a home. 
It's a double edged sword though, because at the end of every shift, the luck–the peace–runs out. If being at work and out of the house is a respite, returning home only thickens the tension. Time spent outside the house only sharpens the discomfort, clarifies the glaring wrongness of it all when you enter it at the end of the day. What it all is, you won’t name. That way madness lies. Issue is, with every interaction, with every chance encounter in the hallway, or living room, every second spent with him in the kitchen watching his lips touch the rim of his mug the thing inside grows. Parts of him fill the corners of your mind. The curve of his shoulders filling out the flannel shirts he favors. The fullness of his bottom lip when he purses them, something he does while squinting at the paper that you’re almost sure he isn’t aware of. His neck, his hands, the dimple in his cheek when he laughs at something really funny. 
These things jump out, innocent as they may be, but other not so innocent things start to creep in. The bulge in his jeans is a mental mine, it lies in wait and every so often when you think you’ve avoided it, it detonates and you catch yourself staring, both ashamed and so inappropriately curious it eats away at you like acid. 
What you needed was something to fill the emptiness, both emotionally and physically. So you did what any modern, adult woman would do; you bought a sex toy. 
Nothing too crazy, or expensive. After perusing the site for a while you finally settled on a plain, non-threatening dildo. Nothing too big, nothing noisy, just something to be able to focus on, something to use while imagining someone giving you what you need. You ignored that dark thing inside that hissed his name, shooed it away and ordered the package for express delivery. With your mom constantly working, and Joel keeping to himself you figured it wouldn’t be an issue. Neither of them would question a package addressed to you. 
You still aren’t sure whether or not you’d do it all over again had you known the Pandora’s box that little package would open. 
You all but rushed home after work. All day, you’d imagined the relief that toy would bring. You imagined yourself using it in the shower, steam swirling as you took your pleasure. You imagined yourself laying in bed in the safety of the dark, setting a towel down on your chair and riding it to your heart's content. 
Joel’s truck is in the driveway when you pull in, but it’s secondary to the excitement at the chance to sequester yourself with your new best friend and so when you walk into the house, you don’t give him much attention. Until he opens his mouth. 
“You got a package today babygirl. I put it on your bed.” He sits on his spot on the sofa, a funny little smile on his face. A bad feeling swells in your chest, and you look up the stairs before meeting his eyes again. 
“Thanks.” You drop your bag on the little bench near the front door, trying, and failing to keep the nervous feeling out of your voice. He nods, and you make your way up, stopping yourself from taking the stairs two at a time. 
Ice flows through your veins when you see the package is open. 
He’d opened your package, he knew what you’d bought. 
Blood pounds in your ears as you stand there, limbs cold and numb at the realization that he saw it. He saw it. He opened it, and he placed it here, on the very place you fantasized about using it. Sweat beaded on your brow, the bottom of your stomach fell out of your ass as you stood there, barely feeling the soft, worn carpet under your feet. 
“Little small, f’you ask me.” His voice at the mouth of your room made your head twist fast enough to hurt your neck. You hadn’t heard him follow you up the stairs, hadn’t heard him open your door and lean against the frame, arms crossed in haughty amusement. 
“Why would you open my package?” You clutched at it, as though he could forget what he’d seen if you held it tightly enough. 
“I didn’t open it on purpose, I’m expectin’ somethin’ and I didn’t read the name.” He pushes away from the door frame, making his way closer and it’s like the air thins as the space between you shrinks.
“I mean, I could tell you been frustrated, but this doesn’t seem like it’s gon’ help much.” He reaches out, and takes the package from you. You watch him do it, watch him, frozen as he plucks it from your hands and takes the toy out. 
“This all you can take?” He holds it, contemptuously–pityingly. 
You wanted to snatch it out of his hands, the dimming voice of reason urges you to push him out of your room and remind him that he needs to keep a healthy distance but you say nothing, you stand there, and watch him. He puts it all down on your dresser, before stepping a little closer, close enough for you to have to crane your neck up to look into his eyes. 
“No boyfriends around to give you what you want?” His hand comes up, the tips of his fingers sliding across the apple of your cheek, slipping down until his thumb pressed against the cushion of your bottom lip. 
“No one around to give you what you obviously need?” He steps a little closer, until your bodies meet. This is wrong, your mind screams it but your body is frozen under his eyes, under his touch. That part, the frozen part is cheering, it’s running victory laps as it floods your cunt with slick in preparation for something unholy. 
That same, writhing, traitorous thing whispers that this is your chance, the house is empty and your body obeys. You look your fill, you take in the curve of his nose and the furrow in his brow. His eyes are black as a crow's wing, lust-blown and completely focused on your parted lips and your shallow panting. 
Adrenaline spikes and you do something you cannot take back. You rise on your tip-toes and press your mouth to his. 
He hums into it, smiling and once again you get that feeling that you’d made the exact move he’d expected you to. A vague, but fleeting inkling that you were just a pawn on his chessboard. 
At any other time you would have stepped away and repented, ate yourself alive with guilt but his hands pulled you closer, his tongue swiped at the seam of your mouth and you opened up for him. That only made it all the more real, the taste of his tongue in your mouth, feeling his hands lower to hold onto your ass. 
The rational part of you shrinks down to nothing, and that other part, the wrong part–it swells and preens under his hands. He pulls away, and embarrassingly, you chase his mouth in a daze. 
“Oh honey, you’re just dyin’ for it aren’t you?” He herds you towards your tiny bed, the twin mattress that has been the stage for every taboo fantasy about this man, your stepfather. You shoo the word away with a shiver. 
“It’s wrong-” You almost whisper, but you don’t push him away, you let him lay you down in that bed and he laughs. 
“It is, isn't it?” He pulls at the hem of your shirt, you raise your arms for him and the picture of it is wrong, daddy taking off your clothes. The thought, the word,  should disgust you but it only pulls your hands to him. You join in, and pull his shirt up and off, biting your lip at the broadness of him. You take in each freckle, the sprinkling of hair on his chest, the dip of his throat calling out for your tongue like a siren. 
He presses his lips to yours again, licking into your mouth obscenely. Unseemly. 
“You been wantin’ this for a long time, haven’t you babygirl?” He pulls your bra off, and the shock of cold air hardens your nipples. He bites his lip to see it, unable to stop himself from flattening his tongue against a hardened bud. A sound you’ve never let yourself make out loud in this room fills the space between you and that slithering thing luxuriates. 
He moves, languidly, unhurried to the other breast and holds the plump of it in his big hand and sucks at the second bud, sucks as much of the peak as he can into his mouth, breathing through his nose while you slowly spiral into madness.
When he lets go, he presses a kiss to your nipple and his facial hair tickles your skin. 
He pulls your leggings off along with your underwear in one go and the reality of it all hits you when the air hits your soaked core. That’s when the urge to put a stop to it is the clearest, when he kneels between your legs and spreads them wide, stares at the place where he’s already filled a million times in your mind. The place that’s drenched at the mere thought of him. 
“Joel-” You start, but he pushes your legs up, folding you and then he lets a glob of spit fall from his mouth slowly, aiming it, a bullseye right on the lips of your cunt. It’s too much, too filthy and you let out a whimper. 
“I think you wanna call me somethin’ else right now.” He undoes his belt and his jeans, keeping his eyes on where his saliva slides down over the open mouth of your cunt, down towards your asshole. He pulls his cock out and part of you shatters. Your eyes flit to the toy sitting on your dresser, your eyes flit to the open door of your bedroom. 
“Don’t worry, your mama ain’t gonna be home for a while.” He smiles, conspiratorially. It's too real, it’s too hypnotic, seeing him there with his cock in his hand while your legs already ache from holding them up and open. He slides the blunt end of it through the mess he’s caused, through his spit and he groans at the sight of it. 
Your heart races so hard to feel him there, that you see the pulse of it in your vision. 
“Deep breath baby.” he warns before slipping inside the tight fist of your pussy, the size of him making you gasp. This is it, there’s no coming back from this and right now, with him seated deep, his groin pressed up tight and the tip of his cock kissing your womb you cannot even think of why you’d ever care.
This is where he's meant to be. This is where you need him. 
“Oh baby, that’s so good huh?” He thrusts shallowly, pulling out a little more than halfway before shoving his hips forward again. You don’t really know how to form words, you don’t know how to take in what’s happening. This is Joel, your step-dad, fucking you in the bed you grew up in. One hand sits heavy on your shin, holding it, the other slides up and holds onto your breast. 
“Look how fuckin’ wet this little pussy is for me,” he moans the words, “you like daddy fuckin’ you?” He thrusts harder and you moan despite the word hitting you in the stomach like a big drop on a rollercoaster. He shouldn’t say that, shouldn’t call himself that, not now. 
“No-” it doesn’t come out like you mean it to, it sounds wrong, like a caress. 
“No? But I think you do-” He leans forward, keeping his pace while pressing his chest to yours, his mouth all but lining up and despite your bullshit protest, you hitch your knees high on his ribs to make room because if he stopped you’d probably die. 
“I think you want me to be your daddy, don’t you baby, it’s okay, I want to be.” He speeds up and the sounds between your legs are so wet, so filthy. 
“You can say it, I want you to say it.” He holds himself up, his elbows caging in your skull and before you can complain or moan or cry he sticks his tongue down your throat again. Your hands finally join the fray and you wrap your arms around his neck, holding him tight to you. 
“Come on baby, say it for me, tell me how good daddy fucks you.” You moan, closing your eyes while your cunt floods him with wave after wave of slick, enough to drip down your ass and onto your bed, down his balls. Enough for it to soak the curls at the base of him. 
“Look at me when I’m fuckin’ you honey.” His hips speed up and it's hard now, his thrusts making your bounce, hitting a part of you that toy would never touch in a million years. 
You open your eyes, and look at him above you, sweat beading on his hairline. Never has he looked more fucking appealing than he does right then. The word is there, in your mouth and you know it’ll taste sweeter than anything in this world. 
The wrong thing wins.  
“Yes daddy.” You moan it, and the shameful thing sets off fireworks in your being, he smiles, and tucks his head into the damp crook of your neck, feeding his lovely filth right into your ear. 
“That’s my babygirl, that’s it, fuck baby you take it better than your mama.” Something inside recoils at that, but something else, another facet of that fucked up thing inside rejoices.
“Let me hear you say it again, say it when you come.” He licks a hot stripe up your neck. His words are a filthy groan, something to tuck away for later.
He reaches down, pressing his thumb to your clit just like he said on that couch and you keen, the slip and the pressure enough to toss you over the edge with an almost painfully intense orgasm. 
“I’m coming, daddy.” It’s a shuddering whisper as your cunt clenches around him. 
He moves quickly, kneeling between your legs to pull out and then he’s stroking himself over your cunt. It’s still pulsing when he paints it in his come. You catch your breath as he tugs at himself a few more times, milking himself against you with a disturbingly familiar groan. 
The fog clears altogether too quickly. The lights are too bright, you’re naked, and he’s still got his jeans around his thighs while the guilt creeps into your veins, replacing the euphoria. 
What have I done? What have you made me do?
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bad-system · 4 months ago
Text
— let's talk KCD3
i finally collect my thoughts and speculations on the possible continuation of the KCD franchise in this post - but please march into this knowing these are speculations born of my own biased narrative and hopeful bastardizations of real events. unlike KCD, i will try to adhere to the real life dates provided primarily by wikipedia as no dates or years were specified for KCD3. and finally - this is only a speculation of what a KCD3 plot might look like IF it was confirmed. as of today's date, no confirmations about the sequel of the games has been announced. PS: i am not a historian. i just like history.
PART: 1 2 3 4 5
_________
my primary speculations will be aimed at the main protagonists of the KCD franchise - henry of skalitz and hans capon (jan ptaček of pirkštejn) with the assumed relationship between them being romantic post KCD2.
— jan hus
the reason i find myself making this theory at all is because a couple of very important things are about to happen in a very close future in bohemia. among political tensions that followed wenceslaus iv with every step and the beginning of the anti-church sentiments sown by one jan hus, the next 10-20 years will turn out to be formative for the future of bohemia.
to be extremely brief, jan hus' teachings targeted the body of church as a whole, denouncing the popes, bishops, priests and the acts of paying for any kind of dissolution of sins. jan hus believed church to be leeches who got rich off of poor people and demanded the clergy to be stripped of any worldly possessions if they wanted to preach. he also believed only jesus christ and the lord could be the judges of sin; that no body of church could sell forgiveness or blessings.
— hussites
following the teachings of jan hus, the hussites emerged as soldiers from the commonfolk following the death of jan hus in 1415 (burned at stake). two prominent factions formed within hussites - the radical taborites and the moderate utraquists.
it was in the taborites that jan žižka emerged as a prominent figure, and he had made his first significant mark on history in 1419 when he participated in the first defenestration of prague.
so, as you can see, there was a significant gap between jan žižka's time as a roadside bandit in 1403 and his rise to fame in 1420s. that had been in part because it is speculated he had been serving as a king's courtier to king wenceslaus iv and his family. (funny detail; at some point wenceslaus calls žižka "faithful and beloved" in a special letter LOL)
_________
— and your're still reading this probably wondering "where is the part where he talks about hansry" but worry not, it is here.
if you checked hans capon's (jan ptaček) wiki you would have seen that later on, he follows the lead of his poweful neighbour petr of šternberk on the anti-hussite and pro-sigismund side. petr of šternberk was prominently pro-sigismund, had very strong anti-hussite views and was a famous hussite killer and enemy of jan žižka. hans will do this for reasons unknown to us and reasons that the game will probably improvise on.
this is where i would put the heart of henry and hans' conflict. both henry and hans have been vocally and actively pro-wenceslaus since KCD1, which would also translate into being pro-hussite in the future.
here is also where i mention the not so subtle moment in KCD2 when žižka approaches henry with the offer to join the fight by his side, because that was very deliberate and sets us up pretty well for the next installment of the game if it comes to be.
this is also the point i would consider crucial to the testament of henry's character. up to this point, henry had been following people; radzig, hanush, hans, jobst, prokop, john of lichstenstein on the side of wenceslaus. i think it would be important for henry to decisively choose a side in this conflict, not only because it was sigismund's forces that razed skalitz, but also because this is a cause he himself believes in rather than follows for the sake of loyalty or revenge. and i'll say - those are both valid motives, but i feel like it would mean a lot more and feel like a big step in his character development to choose a fight he believes in rather than feels obligated to.
thus i believe henry would join the side of jan žižka and subsequently hussites.
but wait! it gets better. henry's own father, radzig kobyla, would go on to join jan žižka in waging guerilla campaigns against the rosenbergs while in service of king wenceslaus. i believe this was happening during the years 1406—1411. so, henry running with this band would make a lot of sense to me from the perspective of both henry's motives and loyalties. so by the year 1419, which i'm naming now for malevolent reasons i will reveal further down, henry would be established as not only pro-wenceslaus but also as a hussite in the coming years.
and now you're probably wondering "but what about hans and henry kissing?" well. the story of KCD is about henry more than hans, and i believe the emergence of anti-sigismund movements that henry would be required at just as hans is about to be conveniently married off presents the story with an opportunity to separate hans and henry for a while, and sets us up with the heartbreaking promises of "i'll come back for you," while hans settles in as the new lord of pirkstein if the game lore allows it. we do not know whether warhorse will follow the timeline of wikipedia on the matters of hanush refusing to give up his estates to the rightful heir, hans capon, or whether they'll force hanush to hand the estates over to hans in the coming years when his son is born.
if that does happen, hans would be presented with the opportunity to show what he's learned about responsibilities during the events of KCD2 as a newly appointed lord of his own estate.
thus, henry is whisked off to fight for the king, father and the people as hans takes over his lordly and familial duties as a new father if we're to believe wikipedia that his son heinrich (hynce), named after his lover henry, was born in the year 1404.
so why did i mention the year 1419?
well, for reasons you're probably not going to like.
it is my firm belief that up until the year 1416-ish henry and hans would have enjoyed eachothers company often, as lovers and as envoys of the highly politically important subjects such as john II of lichstenstein, margrave jobst and prokop, radzig kobyla, jan žižka and king wenceslaus iv himself. this probably doesn't satisfy the needs of many of you for their fluffy happy ending, but i am taking into account primarily their duties to the crown/class/people and then their romantic relationship, because that was unfortunately the hand they would most likely have been dealt.
why up until 1416?
it was in july of 1415 that jan hus was burned at the stake, and the hussites movement grew stronger than ever, to the point in 1419 where the first major hussite battle happened. battle of živohošť, an event that occured in november of 1419, was fought under the command of petr of šternberk, with hans capon in tow, as he had decided to side with his powerful neighbour as mentioned earlier.
now this would present the story with a unique opportunity of putting hans capon and henry of skalitz on opposing sides.
hans, while loyal to henry and the rest of the wenceslaus + hussites, was ultimately forced to join the side of opposition, and thus had political obligations he had to fulfill owing to his duties as a lord of his estates.
it is during this battle that i could see henry getting killed off for the sake of driving the plot. poetically, two lovers find themselvese on the opposite sides of a battlefield, one fighting for something he believes in with the traitor on the other side, fighting in accordance with duty.
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according to hans' wiki, it was after this one, singular battle that he switched sides and even signed a declaration in favour of the moderate hussites, even with petr of šternberk still alive at this point.
with his documented presence ceasing here, it is presumed that he had died in 1419, as his son hynce, 17 years old at the time, succeeded his father's estates in 1420.
in my tragic telling of the story of KCD3/4/5, henry's death on the battlefield is what spurs hans on to sign the declaration in support of the ideology his henry had died for, perhaps as a last gesture in favour of his dead lover.
and in true KCD2 galehaut and lancelot fashion, hans capon would perish from grief, mourning his best friend and the love of his life.
this, in fact, perfectly sets the franchise up for KCD4/5/? if this were the case; with hans and henry both out of the picture, you emerge as the young nobleman heinrich, aka henry, named after the greatest man his father had known - the year is 1420 and the hussite wars have lit the flames of the bohemian people's revolution.
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the-cosmic-cauldron · 5 months ago
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Simple Astrology Observations
People with Leo placements often feel very self-assured. Since Leo is ruled by the Sun, which represents one’s core self, those with Leo placements tend to have a strong sense of identity. You cannot tell a Leo who they are—they are more likely to tell you who you are.
If you have Cancer placements, emotions play a significant role in your life—not just in how you feel, but in the emotional themes that guide your decisions. You need to feel emotionally clear and balanced in whatever you pursue. The energy of a space matters to you, and you seek to create a sense of peace, both for yourself and those around you. Cancer placements are deeply caring, prioritizing emotional security and the well-being of others.
For those with Gemini or Virgo placements, communication is incredibly important. Virgo, ruled by Mercury, values precision in speech, ensuring that their ideas are conveyed clearly and accurately. They take communication seriously, paying close attention to the words they use and how they structure their thoughts. Gemini, also ruled by Mercury, thrives on expression. The worst thing for a Gemini is feeling unheard or unable to share their thoughts. Communication is the outlet through which they process their many ideas, and without it, they can feel restless and unsettled.
Taurus and Libra, both ruled by Venus, prioritize love and connection. Taurus dislikes being single, as love is deeply ingrained in their nature. They seek to nurture and nourish those they care about, especially their closest relationships. Similarly, Libras thrive in love. They value bonds and daily communication with those they cherish. For a Libra, talking regularly with loved ones—whether friends or a romantic partner—is essential to their well-being.
Aries and Scorpio share a strong, feisty energy due to their Mars rulership. People with these placements are more prone to conflict, including physical altercations, even if they aren’t the ones to initiate them. Additionally, Mars’ influence heightens their desire for physical intimacy, making it a central aspect of their personality and emotional well-being. Aries and Scorpio placements often feel a deep need for consistent and passionate physical connection to maintain their spirits.
If you have Sagittarius or Pisces placements, you are driven by an insatiable desire for more—more experiences, knowledge, and growth. These signs do not settle easily, and even when they appear to, their minds are often wandering, imagining new possibilities or planning their next adventure. Stagnation is unsettling for them.
Aquarius and Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, often feel as though they are walking an uphill battle in life. Whether due to strict parenting, restrictive work environments, or self-imposed limitations, they frequently experience a sense of constraint. Aquarius, in particular, craves change and can be unpredictable, making them difficult to keep up with. Their transformations tend to be sudden and unexpected rather than gradual.
For Pisces placements, imagination is everything. Attempting to force a Pisces to be more “realistic” or grounded disrupts their natural flow, making it difficult for them to feel at peace. It is often better to let a Pisces exist in their dreamlike state rather than trying to pull them down to reality. If you do, you may encounter their less pleasant side.
Those with Scorpio placements experience profound transformations throughout life. Who they once were often feels distant from who they become. Their journey involves peeling back layers of buried emotions and illusions until they finally uncover their deepest truth. At some point, every Scorpio placement undergoes a powerful awakening where they recognize and embrace their authentic self.
If you focus on your rising sign, you may find it to be one of the hardest placements to internalize. The rising sign represents how you show up in the world, but it may not feel like an accurate reflection of your true self. For example, if you have an Aries rising but a water sun and moon, you might struggle to keep up with the fiery, bold energy others perceive in you. On the other hand, if your rising sign aligns closely with your sun sign, it will likely feel more natural.
The Midheaven (MC), though often associated with career, represents a broader sense of achievement and purpose. An Aries Midheaven may indicate a life goal of cultivating independence and authenticity, while a Libra Midheaven might strive for harmony, balance, and meaningful relationships. Rather than dictating a specific career path, the Midheaven reflects the aspirations that align with one’s true self.
Pluto is a planet of power, but many people develop an imbalanced perception of it based on how they were raised. Your relationship with your Pluto placement is deeply influenced by your upbringing. However, Pluto ultimately reveals where your power and influence lie in this life, making it one of the greatest tools to harness for your career, relationships, and daily life.
Neptune is the planet of the unseen, and your Neptune placement reveals where you lack clarity. It represents areas of life that feel elusive, confusing, or difficult to grasp. For example, having Neptune in the fifth house may indicate struggles with understanding romance, self-expression, courting, or dating. These aspects of life may feel unclear or difficult to navigate.
Uranus is the planet of progression, and your Uranus placement reveals the areas of life where you feel driven to grow and evolve.
Jupiter is the planet of satiety, representing what you need in life to feel fulfilled, satisfied, and content.
Saturn is the planet of long-term goals, which is why it brings restriction and obligations—these are the challenges we face when pursuing long-term objectives. In this lifetime, Saturn represents what you should aim to achieve.
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