#and also the movie monster has been a huge part of my online identity since 2014 so he (the monster) is v important to me

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

It's Frankenstein Friday!!

Since 1997, every last Friday in October has been named Frankenstein Friday as a celebration of the book (and author) that birthed the science fiction genre as we know it today, and the monster of whom has been a horror staple ever since.

Frankenstein - Mary Shelley (1818) Frankenstein dir. James Whale starring Boris Karloff (1931)

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

(Accidental 150 Follower Special) IOTA’s Top 10 Best (and By That, I Mean Personal Favorite) Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug

Alright, I already covered what I considered to be the worst Miraculous Ladybug episodes in two parts, and now it’s time to talk about the what I consider to be the best Miraculous Ladybug episodes before I talk about... him...

I’m only putting one rule in place for this list. I'm going to try and list episodes with good qualities other than “cool-looking Akuma and awesome fight scenes”, and focus on other details like character moments and story.

Other than that, let’s get started.

These are the Top 10 Best Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug (in my personal opinion because your opinion is also valid)

#10: Mr. Pigeon

While Marinette works on sketching a design for a hat for a fashion contest where the winning design will be worn by Adrien (a rare example where the “Marinette does a thing to impress Adrien” plot actually works), a birdwatcher who loves feeding pigeons in the park is told off by the only police officer in Paris, causing him to get akumatized into the titular Mr. Pigeon, who has control over all of the pigeons in the city.

And by God, does this episode have fun with the concept.

In addition to constantly mimicking pigeon cries, Mr. Pigeon's movements are just so entertaining to watch, only aided by the creative ways he controls the flocks of pigeons.

I'm not kidding when at one point, Mr. Pigeon traps Ladybug and Cat Noir in a cage, and threatens to have his pigeons crap on them unless they hand over their Miraculous. Yeah.

This is one of the episodes that really set the standards for how outlandish the Akumas in Miraculous Ladybug could get. It kind of reminds me of an episode of the original Ultraman, where the SSSP has to find a way to move an incredibly heavy monster using increasingly abnormal strategies, like inflating it with air so it'll float like a balloon. It's clear it isn't taking itself too seriously, so the audience shouldn't either.

Admittedly, Cat Noir's feather allergy feels shoehorned in, and is only included to increase conflict, and you would think it would come up when Mayura, a bird-themed supervillain appears in the third season. But then again, that's just a minor nitpick.

It's just a really fun episode, and I wish we could see Ladybug and Cat Noir fight Mr. Pigeon again that isn't used for a cheap gag.

#9: The Puppeteer

After being told by her mom that she can't have a Ladybug doll made by Marinette, young Manon is Akumatized into the Puppeteer. But obviously, you can't have our heroes beating up a five-year-old, so instead, the Puppeteer has the power to exact control over past Akuma victims as long as she has the doll made by Marinette. So Ladybug and Cat Noir have to face off against Lady Wifi, the Evillustrator, and Rogercop, before the Puppeteer gets her hands on the dolls Marinette made of the two heroes and take control of them as well.

It's still kind of funny to think about the fact that of all the Akumas to become a huge threat to Ladybug and Cat Noir, it's a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. And like with “Mr. Pigeon”, the episode has a lot of fun with the concept, best reflected in the voice acting. You can tell that Carrie Keranen is having so much fun this episode with the stuff she says as Lady Wifi.

The fact that someone who was actually a major threat to the heroes with how she was able to easily outsmart them and also came really close to getting their Miraculous is now acting like a little kid using phrases like “super duper sorry” is even more hilarious.

I'm still a little confused as why of all the past villains, it's Evillustrator and Rogercop that get to come back, and I wish they had gotten more to say, but it's still a treat to see Ladybug and Cat Noir fighting four villains at once, especially since this was before “Heroes Day”.

#8: Sapotis

Hawkmoth akumatizes Alya's little sisters into Sapotis (supposedly based off a folktale, but I can't find anything about it online), who have the power to multiply and easily overwhelm Ladybug and Cat Noir, forcing Ladybug to recruit Alya to become a third hero, Rena Rouge.

I've been a little negative about Alya in the past, but this episode gives her some major character growth. One of the biggest problems I had with her character in Season 1 is how often she tried to figure out Ladybug's identity... despite claiming to be a huge superhero fan, who should know why superheroes keep their identities a secret. Thankfully, this episode mostly puts an end to this idea.

The episode opens with Marinette giving Alya some reasons why Ladybug would keep her identity a secret, and it actually plays into the episode.

Putting aside the stupid Rent-A-Miraculous system introduced in this episode, the idea of keeping secrets and how necessary they can be sometimes is reflected after the battle where Alya is hesitant at first to give up her Miraculous, but eventually concedes and keeps her identity a secret from Marinette (who ironically knows, but that's not important).

Even without that, this episode still has a lot of action with the three heroes fighting their way through an army of Sapotis, with plenty of banter during said action. Hell, at one point, Cat Noir says “gotta catch 'em all”. I don't have a joke here, that's just brilliant.

Out of all the introductory hero episodes, this one easily sticks out among most of them.

(Don’t worry, I’m going to talk about Rena Rouge’s character design in a later post.)

#7: Guitar Villain

I said before in an earlier post that Jagged Stone is one of my favorite characters in Miraculous Ladybug, so it's obvious that the episode where he gets akumatized would be on this list.

After a disagreement with his manager about trying to mimic the popular singer XY (who ironically lacks a Y chromosome), Jagged is akumatized into Guitar Villain, a rock star with a pet dragon who forces everyone to listen to his Awesome Solo (yes, he names his attacks too) to dance uncontrollably.

Honestly, there's not much I can really say about this episode. It's Ladybug and Cat Noir fighting a rock star who flies around on a goddamn dragon. That's one of the coolest things I've ever seen! Even the way they defeat him (which I won’t give away) is a fun jab at rock stars.

Admittedly, the episode does border on grouchy old man territory sometimes by complaining about how bad today's music is with the way they portray XY as a whiny and egotistical coward, but after watching “Silencer”, you'll be glad everyone hates him.

Overall, it's a rockingly awesome episode.

#6: The Dark Owl

Mr. Damocles, the principal of Marinette and Adrien's school, is akumatized into the Dark Owl, a corrupted version of his favorite comic book superhero (who would later turn out to be real in the New York special, but I don't want to acknowledge that), who uses his high-tech gadgets to trap Ladybug and Cat Noir, putting them in one of their toughest binds yet.

I'm a huge fan of the Adam West Batman show, so you could probably guess why it's on this list. This episode really feels like an episode of that show with how goofy and over the top everything is. Obviously, this episode has a few Batman references thrown in (even an Incredibles reference at one point), and they're all hilarious.

I just love how complex Dark Owl's traps for Ladybug and Cat Noir are, and the fact that he actually manages to outsmart them at one point. Like seriously, have you ever heard of a death trap that involves drowning someone in whipped cream? That’s totally something you’d see the Joker setting up.

I don't really want to give away the ending (which is why this part is so short), because I think it's a really clever resolution that you should check out for yourself.

#5: Gorizilla

Hawkmoth akumatizes Adrien's bodyguard into Gorizilla, whose sole purpose is to protect Adrien. His motivation? To see if Adrien is actually Cat Noir or not. So Adrien has to avoid this gigantic gorilla's wrath with Marinette, all while trying to catch a movie his late mother was in.

See this? This is Adrienette done right. This is the kind of interaction I like when it comes to romance. Marinette and Adrien spend a few scenes with each other avoiding Adrien's crazy fanbase, and Marinette doesn't stammer half of her words. Even when she interacts with Adrien as Ladybug, she still remains confident, and Adrien trusts her judgment when it looks like he might fall. I don't just want Marinette and Adrien to cuddle with each other or declare their love for each other when they get their memories wiped. I want them to interact like human beings before they actually start a relationship, and this episode is a good example of it.

Adrien also gets some good focus with the way he views his relationship with his parents, as does Gabriel with his relationship with his son. Granted, he's taking a pretty huge gamble trying to kill Adrien to see if he's Cat Noir or not as opposed to just... taking off his ring while he sleeps. Can we at least admit he's trying?

I feel they could have done more with the King Kong homage (guess who I'm talking about?), but I can understand there wasn't enough time to focus on that. It's still an important episode to watch for plot and character growth that will barely be acknowledged in later episodes.

#4: Sandboy

tHe SaNdBoY hAs ChEcKeD iN. nOw NiGhTmArEs CaN bEgIn.

Now that we got that obvious joke out of the way, let's talk about one of the most creative episodes of the show.

Tikki and Plagg, Marinette and Adrien's Kwamis (the magical beings that power their Miraculous) take part in a ritual with the other Kwamis inside Master Fu's Miracle Box to contact Nooroo, Hawkmoth's Kwami, on his birthday and get an idea of where he is. Unfortunately, Hawkmoth chooses to akumatize someone during the ritual, leaving Marinette and Adrien helpless to fight back against Sandboy, an Akuma with the power to make their worst fears come true.

I said before in my worst list when talking about “Ladybug” that there was too much going on for one episode, what with Marinette's expulsion, the attempted Scarletmoth attack, and the fake Ladybug plotlines generally being rushed through. This episode is basically the opposite of that (ironically, they're both the penultimate episodes of their respective seasons).

The Kwami ritual and the Akuma attack are perfectly staged together so one affects the other. Not only do the Kwamis have to risk aborting their ritual to reach Nooroo in order to fight the Akuma, but Marinette and Adrien have to deal without fighting off Sandboy's nightmares on their own. Both plots balance each other out into a well-crafted story.

This is also one of the only episodes in the show where the Akuma of the week isn't the man focus. Here, we don't even see what happens to get the kid akumatized into Sandboy, and instead, Gabriel senses someone with negative emotions and akumatizes the kid offscreen. This works, because it doesn't distract from the main plot too much.

Even Marinette and Adrien's worst fears beautifully contrast each other, with both managing to be unsettling in different ways, even if they both have different tones. While Adrien's worst fear is being imprisoned in his own room (the fear only made worse with Plagg's absence), Marinette's worst fear is... the real star of the episode. Ladies and Gentlemen, I think you all know who I'm talking about.

You can tell the animators had a field day with animating Nightmare Adrien. Just look at the way he moves around and the faces he makes. It manages to be terrifying and hilarious at the same time. Bryce Papenbrook's performance only makes it better, cementing this as the highlight of the episode.

This episode also does a good job at foreshadowing the main plot for Season 3 with Hawkmoth finding out about the other Kwamis and by extension, more Miraculous.

It's got plot, comedy, good action, and Nightmare Adrien, so how can you turn this episode down?

And no, I'm not talking about Nightmare Ladybug, mainly because I'm tired of all the evil doppelgangers from the worst list.

#3: Startrain

Yes, believe it or not, I managed to find a Season 3 episode that wasn't complete garbage, and spoiler alert, this isn't the only one.

Marinette and Adrien's class goes on a field trip to London by taking the train, until the driver is akumatized into Startrain, who wants to escape to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... SPACE! So Ladybug and Cat Noir have to defeat Startrain while also finding a way to bring everyone on the train back home.

I like how this episode plays with the usual Akuma of the week formula. Unlike every other Akuma they've fought, Cat Noir points out that if they beat Startrain, everyone will die, so they have to be more strategic in their approach. They don't even fight Startrain for most of the episode, as they have to make their way to the front of the train to confront the Akuma. The action in this episode is very creative and really takes advantage of zero gravity, only aided by the design of the futuristic train the episode takes place in.

The new hero introduced, Pegasus (AKA Max, another student in Marinette and Adrien's class), is also really cool, being very intelligent and helping out the heroes progress through the train even before he gets the Horse Miraculous. It makes sense that his intelligence would be used rather than just his powers in this situation.

There are even some good character moments too. For once, Master Fu does something smart and loans the Horse Miraculous (which has the power of teleportation) to Marinette so she can still go on the class trip, trusting her and actually letting her have a life. It was also nice to see Alya stick up for Marinette by keeping Lila from interrupting her nap with Adrien.

This episode is basically like a refreshing glass of water to enjoy during the garbage fire that was Season 3.

(I’m going to talk about Pegasus’ character design later on too, don’t worry)

#2: Silencer

Lukanette shippers, ASSEMBLE!

Music producer Bob Roth and his son XY hold a contest for young artists to show off their skills, and Kitty Section, a band composed of several recurring characters, decides to enter, with Marinette helping to design their costumes. But as soon as they submit their video, they find out that XY copied their style, naturally pissing the band off.

Marinette and the lead guitarist of Kitty Section, Luka, confront Bob Roth and XY, who threaten to ruin their careers by claiming that they ripped off XY. Seeing Marinette getting threatened is more than enough for Hawkmoth to akumatize Luka into Silencer, who naturally has the power to silence and mimic the voices of others.

I talked about Luka and his relationship with Marinette in an earlier post (specifically the one where Astruc claimed that the fandom growing to like Luka counted as character development), and I said that this was one of the few good episodes this season because of their interactions. This episode basically made me realize how much Luka cares for Marinette, and the episode gives plenty of time to show the two spending time together and growing closer. It's basically everything “Oni-Chan” should have been about, giving some depth to Luka and not portraying him as a crazy person like they did with Kagami in that episode.

Silencer is also one of the more creatively designed villains this season, and has a really creative approach to achieving his goals. While the ability to steal and imitate someone's voice seems mundane compared to control over the weather, or making nightmares come to life, it's used very effectively. Silencer basically tricks the police into arresting Bob Roth while imitating the mayor's voice, and he threatens to make his life a living hell by using the connections to the voices he's stolen. Even with the hand puppet gesture, it's still unsettling to have Silencer speak in all these voices, and it would make for a really interesting horror movie.

Even Ladybug and Cat Noir's interactions are back to their Season 1 levels of enjoyment. Even though Silencer took her voice, Ladybug just makes so many expressions that do a great job at describing her feelings, which naturally plays off Cat Noir's motormouth tendencies. Whenever Cat Noir jokes about Ladybug's condition, he is rightfully called out on it and is reprimanded in some way, my favorite being when Ladybug uses her yo-yo to hit Cat Noir on the head to shut him up. Even putting aside that, they still work well together this episode and really feel like equals. I also love their silent fist bump when Bob Roth is exposed.

Again, the episode still takes the time to go on about how unoriginal today's musicians are, and how they lack artistic creativity and all that crap. Look, given how ham-fisted the writing in this show can get, are you surprised the commentary isn't subtle?

Even putting aside how much this episode made me appreciate Lukanette, it still has a lot of great moments that aren't even related to the ship itself, which is a real testament to how this show can perfectly balance romance and story when it's done right. Now if only the show could try this much with Adrienette, then people wouldn't hate the main pairing of the show this much.

#1: The Collector

Taking place immediately after the Season 1 finale, Marinette meets Master Fu and discusses the book she found depicting past Miraculous users. Marinette theorizes that since the book was in the Agreste mansion, Gabriel could be Hawkmoth. And to the surprise of absolutely no one, she's right, and in order to draw off suspicion, Gabriel akumatizes himself into the Collector.

This episode has several good writing decisions for both sides, and the choices the characters make feel natural. Gabriel akumatizing himself is such a smart move, and so is what Marinette and Master Fu do with the book at the end. This episode does a great job setting up future plot threads and establishes Master Fu's character and the mystery associated with him.

The Collector is a visually stunning villain, and his powers are really creative, leading to a great fight with Ladybug and Cat Noir, who use a great strategy to outsmart him. I also love how over the top he is in order to make the heroes believe that he's working for Hawkmoth, all with a devious smile on his face.

This was also the episode that really got me into Miraculous Ladybug as a whole. I checked out the first season on a whim after it was mentioned in a Pan Pizza video, but it was during the hiatus between seasons, and I hadn't really started using Tumblr yet, so it mostly stayed off my radar. When Season 2 started however, I really got invested in the story, and the way this episode turned out was a big reason why. I wondered what it would be like when Adrien finds out his own father is Hawkmoth, and how the story would play out after the reveal.

Despite what it led up to, I still consider “The Collector” to be my favorite episode of Miraculous Ladybug.

Well, now that I talked about that, not it's time to talk about what I consider to be the worst episode of Miraculous Ladybug, “Felix”. God help me...

[trashinaglass-archive]

Real Me

Y/n reveals her identity to the world

Request: heyy! i read your imagine where tom supports the reader as a writer and i loved it! could you do one imagine where the reader is a writer as well and her book has already became a movie but she has never showed her face in public and has a pseudonym, and she is a oscar nominee for best director, so when reader went to pick up her award is the first time she shows her face for the public (including tom, btw they're already dating but he didn't knew about her)and in the middle of her speech the reader says "also i wanna thank my boyfriend for the face he's doing now that will probably become the next viral meme in the internet" and this is such a awkward request and i totally understand if you don't accept it pqjdlwjdpsks but if you do, thank you already 💖

A/n: Is this the second life you live because that was so specific, I love it. What a Hannah Montana moment.

I’m going to try my best to make this good because it is such a good concept

Savannah George. That was the name you had been writing under for the past few years. You started writing when you were in high school, and it was something you just loved. Creating characters, plots, settings- it was like you had the power to create any world you wanted. You loved it.

No one knew that you were the one writing your books- not even your closest friends or family. You liked that you were able to go around town without anyone noticing you. It was fun getting to live your double life and seeing fans online wondering who you are. They had made wild guesses as to who you are, and with the movie release, things only got more intense.

A few months ago, a movie adaptation of your film hit the theaters. You had tiny parts of it, only through your pseudonym’s email, never actually meeting in person. The movie had done extremely well- you, Savannah George you, were even nominated for an Oscar. The Academy Award for Best Writing. Usually the nominees for this category are screenwriters, but since the film is based on the book, you were nominated. You felt so honored to be nominated. You felt that this would also be the perfect moment to reveal your identity to the public.

You were a little unsure of how you were going to attend the award show without being obvious or awkward. But then you heard your answer.

“Babe!” Tom yelled as he approached you in your bedroom. “I was chosen to present at the Oscar’s this year!” He told you excitedly.

“Are you serious? That’s amazing,” you told him. That was your doorway into the show.

“I’m so excited. You’re going to come with me right? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle going by myself,” he said quickly, obviously overjoyed to be presenting. As he should be- it was a huge honor.

“Of course, I will, Tom,” you told him. “Do you know what you’re presenting yet?”

“Umm,” Tom said looking at his phone for the email. “Best writing.” Your eyes went a little wide as he said that. What a moment that would be.

“That’ll be fun. That’s a great category.”

. . .

Months later, you were on your way to your first ever Oscar’s event. You couldn’t be more excited. You arrived to the carpet, stepping out and seeing yourself surrounded by many gorgeous celebrities. It was surreal knowing you were standing beside them- nominated beside them. It was crazy.

You and Tom posed for a few photos before you excused yourself.

“I need to use the bathroom,” you told him before walking away. You made your way inside the venue to find anyone that could help you. You saw a man working on the stage and decided to approach him. “Excuse me,” you said politely to get his attention.

“Can I help you?” He asked, turning towards you.

“Hopefully. I work under the name Savannah George who’s nominated for best writing. If we were to win the award, I wanted to use that moment to reveal who I actually am. Who would I need to talk to about that?”

“Gary, he’s in charge of everything tonight. I’ll get him a call and ask him to be over asap.”

“Thank you,” you said as you waited. Not long after, Gary came walking towards you.

“So this is the infamous Savannah George that no one knows,” he joked as he approached you. “Nice to meet you. What were you thinking?”

“If Savannah George were to win tonight, I want to be able to introduce myself and reveal myself to her fans. I basically just want to be able to accept the award instead of someone giving a ‘don’t know who she is’.”

“Right, so what we’ll do is add onto the card, if you win, to step back from the mic and allow anyone to step forward if they plan to accept and you can wait a second or two, you know build suspense, and then make your way to the stage.”

“Okay, thank you for the help,” you told him as you turned making your way back to Tom.

“You’re welcome, good luck!”

You walked back outside and stood by the door as you scanned the carpet for Tom. You didn’t see him so you grabbed your phone to call him.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to be on your phone at an event like this,” you heard a voice behind you making you jump. You turned around to see Tom with a smirk on his face.

“Don’t do that, asshole,” you said, cluthching your heart. Tom laughed and moved his hand to hold onto yours.

“Sorry, love. The shows about to start though. Let’s go find our seats.”

You followed Tom and took your seats at the table you were assigned to. You greeted the other men and women at the table making small talk. It wasn’t long before many of the categories were awarded.

“I got to go,” Tom told you, placing a kiss on your cheek. “I’ve be back soon.”

“Good luck,” you told him as you watched him leave. You began to think about the award you were nominated for, knowing it was approaching. You were desperately hoping you would win- not for the glory or anything, but because you wanted to reveal yourself to the world. What better opportunity than tonight?

“Please welcome our next presenters: Tom Holland and Chris Evans.” You watched as the two men approached the microphone, your heart beginning to pound like crazy.

“Movies are a fun way to pass the time and escape the moment, but if the people from this next category didn’t do what they do, some of the greatest films wouldn’t exist,” Chris started.

“From crazy monsters to superhero fights to fighting for one’s rights- it all starts with these men and women,” Tom continued. “The nominees for this years Academy Award for Best Writing are:”

Charlie Wachtel, BlacKkKlansman

Paul Schrader, First Reformed

Savannah George, Thief of Dawn

Nick Vallelonga, Green Book

You listened as Tom and Chris alternated, giving the name and title of each nominee. You looked at Tom as you waited for them to reveal the winner.

“The winner of the 2019 Academy Award for Best Writing,” Chris said before waiting a moment.

“Savannah George, Thief of Dawn,” Tom finished. They both began to clap, taking a step back from the microphone and looking into the crowd to see if anyone would make a move to come forward.

You were shocked. You actually won an Oscar, without anyone even knowing who you were. You looked at the people from your table before pushing your chair back and standing up. You noticed people look at you in shock. Savannah George was a faceless writer that no one knew, yet here you were walking toward the stage to accept her award.

You made your way to the stage, Chris and Tom looking shocked- Tom’s reaction way more dramatic. Chris, seeing Tom in a frozen state, laughed and made his way down the stage offering you an arm. You held onto him as you made your way up the stage.

“Thank you,” you said as you let go of him. You looked at Tom again, as he seemed to shake out of his frozen state, mouthing a ‘what the fuck’ at you, still looking shocked. You laughed and turned to the mic.

“Thank you,” you said as a stage hand gave you the award. You took a second to look at it before looking back at the audience. “Thank you so much to everyone that voted. My name is Y/n, but you probably know me better as Savannah George. I’ve been writing under that name for so long, and I figured now would be the perfect chance to introduce myself to you for the first time ever. No one knew that I was writing as Savannah so to be able to be nominated at all was such an honor, and I can’t thank you enough for the opportunity. You loved me even though you didn’t know me- I can’t even fathom how incredible that is. Thank you to all the fans that supported me,” you said into the mic before looking back at Tom, still seeing the stupid look on his face.

“I also want to thank my sweet boyfriend, Tom, for the incredible face he’s making right now that I hope will be the next viral meme on the internet,” you said making everyone laugh. “Thank you again for all the support, and I can’t wait to show you the real me.” You turned stepped away from the microphone, blowing a few kisses as many actors and their dates began to stand up, clapping for you. You felt a few tears well up at the insane moment in front of you, and turned around to see Tom with a smile on his face, holding an arm out to you. You walked over to him, leaning into his body for a side hug as you continued to walk off stage.

“Congrats, y/n,” Chris said, a hand on your shoulder. You turned to hug him quickly before thanking him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tom asked you as Chris walked away.

“I didn’t tell anyone- my mom didn’t even know,” you told him.

“But why, I don’t get it.”

“I like to write, but I didn’t want to do it for my job, for glory or anything. I wanted to do it for fun so I made a fake name,” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Where did Savannah George come from?”

“I was in Savannah, Georgia when I wrote my first book. I felt so accomplished that I kept it as my name.”

“That’s crazy,” Tom said. “Well, congratulations, babe. Your really deserve it.”

[shyguycity]

Goty 2019

Hey. It’s game of the year 2019 baby. By now you know the kinda justice we seek on these streets, so no long-winded introductions, except to remind you that these aren’t reviews, and honorable mentions have been moved down to the bottom this year because we're evolving.

12. Super Kirby Clash (Switch) - A free to play online Kirby spinoff centered around combat that features microtransactions sounds like an awful idea on paper, and yet it’s somehow my most played multiplayer game of 2019. I won’t try and present the game as anything more than what it is, which is basically a very (very very very!) simplified, arcade-y Monster Hunter game with a very (very very very very!) cute aesthetic. But as a recent convert to Monster Hunter and a longtime Kirby lobbyist, it turns out that that’s all I need to play a game for nearly 100 hours. The four classes all have varied abilities, gameplay and roles to play, and there’s nothing more satisfying than freezing time as the mage in the middle of an enemy’s jumping animation. I found the microtransactions to be completely fair, as I spent around 10 dollars total on the game and never found myself hurting for apples (the game’s main currency and the only one you can buy with real money) to upgrade my equipment. This isn’t a game I would be able to recommend to everyone, but if it’s your type of thing then it’s going to be very much your type of thing.

*Image credit: 505 games

11. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Despite horrible first impressions from my backer copy of the Switch version, Bloodstained really ended up delivering the true Castlevania: Symphony of the Night successor it promised to be, and I had a fantastic time with it (after trading in my Switch version and begrudgingly purchasing a PS4 copy). While I love almost all of the Castlevania games in their own ways, even the best entries post-SotN didn’t end up feeling much like SotN. Bloodstained, meanwhile, wears its inspiration on its sleeve. Or rather on its wolf hood and gas mask combo.

Obscure, bizarre, and goofy secrets are around every single corner of the castle. I mean, like, really esoteric ones that I can’t imagine having found without a guide. From the myriad of hidden (and very challenging!) boss fights, to trophies popping for playing a piano while having a fair familiar out to entire sprite based areas, the surprises never stop being thrown at the player. It adds so much goofball flavor to the game that’s missing from just about any other entry in the genre, and it does the brunt work in giving this game its identity.

Not only are the secrets plentiful and good, but the combat is also excellent; much like a couple entries in the latter Castlevania games, just about every single enemy in Bloodstained has a chance of dropping you a shard upon defeat, and each one gives your character Miriam a new ability. Some of these are simple passive buffs, while others completely change your combat options. From ghostly portrait guardians to giant dentist drills coming out of your hand to summoning disembodied dragon’s heads, the shard system is never not entertaining, and leaves the player so much room for experimentation and realizing their ideal build it’s actually a wonder they were able to bug test this thing at all. And truly, the main issues holding Bloodstained back from true greatness are its technical issues. Which is a shame, and seemingly an issue on all platforms. But if you can handle a hard crash here or there, you’re in for a treat.

10. Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Switch) - I never thought I would care at all for any Fire Emblem game. Certainly, I saw the appeal of them prior to Three Houses, but they just never seemed like something I would want to devote a lot of time to. But putting the game in a school setting and recontextualizing your soldiers as students really made a huge difference for me, and I bonded with the characters in the game in a way I normally reserve for my Pokemon teams. And unlike Pokemon, I can marry my students, which is beautiful and horrifying.

There are definitely issues with Three Houses. A silent protagonist has no right starring in a game like this, especially with all the emotional story beats the game is trying to pull off. The writing in general was also all over the place, ranging from odd decisions with both the characters as well as the overarching story (some of this is remedied by replaying the game multiple times and going down different routes, but I put 60 hours into the game and couldn’t even finish two paths, so that’s a bit unrealistic). Lastly, the monastery that serves as your school needs just a tad more variety in activities to do in between the battles, as what started out as my favorite part of the game became a chore for the last dozen or so hours.

All of that said, I am anxiously waiting for the sequel, as the foundation that’s been put down here could lead to something truly special. As it stands, this is the best secret Harry Potter game ever made, and that alone is going to have a lot of appeal to a lot of people.

*Image credit: Gamespot

9. Resident Evil 2 (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Truly, I have never been more stressed out when playing a game than the first time I had to start dealing with Mr. X. Yes, on each subsequent playthrough (of which I did many!) and even encounter he became less of a threat and more of an annoyance, but much like a good horror movie, that first time will remain embedded in my brain as one of my most memorable gaming moments.

And that kinda sums up Resident Evil 2 as a whole for me. An amazing, unforgettable start in the police station, followed by a somewhat middling second act in the sewers, and ending on kind of a weirdly short whimper in a very tonally different setting than the rest of the game. And that’s without getting into how disappointingly similar the “B” playthroughs of either character were to their “A” counterparts. It was all still great, mind you, and the gameplay and scares remained excellent throughout. But man was that first act in the police station something truly special, and I’m hopeful that the eventual remake of 3 keeps more of that tone throughout.

8. Pokemon Sword/Pokemon Shield (Switch) - Cutting hundreds of Pokemon was pretty close to the bottom of my list of concerns going into the latest Pokemon. The series hasn’t really grabbed me in a major way since Black and White on the DS almost 9(!) years ago, and I had largely accepted the idea that I was finally growing out of the franchise. While this 8th generation of Pokemon titles is far, far from perfect, and in fact doubles down on a lot of the aspects I don’t like about modern Pokemon games, Sword has become my favorite entry in the series in a very long time.

This is down to two things: my favorite batch of new Pokes the series has ever had (Galarian Farfetch’d, my prince............) and the introduction of multiplayer coop content with raids. The former is subjective I suppose (but seriously, Galarian Farfetch’d), and the appeal of the raids is going to be dictated by how into repetitive content you are and if you have people to raid with. I’m fortunate enough to love repetitive tasks in video games, especially repetitive tasks that amount to fighting and capturing giant monsters for rewards, and to have a partner to enjoy those repetitive tasks with. We lost entire weekends to hunting down new raid opportunities in Sword, and this feels like the first major step the series has taken in nearly a decade to try and reengage me in a meaningful way.

And don’t get me wrong: Pokemon has a long way to go to bring me entirely back into the fold. The dungeons are nonexistent, the routes are largely completely straightforward affairs, the post game content is so light that “barebones” feels like a generous descriptor, and the performance issues in the wild area (the game’s more open, free roaming space) are inexcusably awful when played online. I hope by the time the 9th generation games roll around that we’ll get a bigger advancement than what’s been seen here, but to me, this feels like an all around better made product than any of the 3DS entries, with or without Galarian Farfetch’d.

7. Risk of Rain 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The original Risk of Rain is a personal all-time favorite, so seeing the developers successfully make the jump from 2D to 3D while still maintaining everything I love about the first game is a truly remarkable feat. Both games sport essentially MMO-lite combat with abilities dictated by cooldowns and items that you get from chests and bosses, with rogue-like progression and permadeath. That’s a lot of jargon even for me talking about video games, so essentially: keep shooting things and powering up by grabbing items and defeating bosses, and when you’re dead you’re dead (bar a specific item), rinse and repeat.

It’s deceptively simple while being endlessly replayable. The true fun comes in when playing with other people, as every character plays completely differently, and figuring out builds for each person on the fly is extremely fun and rewarding. This also means that if you start getting bored of one character, simply play a different one on your next run. Add in an extremely moody sci-fi aesthetic (including one of my favorite soundtracks of the year) and that’s Risk of Rain.

The main issue with Risk of Rain 2 at this point is that it’s simply unfinished, and won’t even have an actual ending state until spring of 2020. This doesn’t hamper my enjoyment of the game much, hence it being on this list, but I imagine a lot of people would be bothered by it. The developers have done a great job of updating the game at a decent pace so far though, and every major patch has come with a new character, among a ton of other things. And if I’ve already gotten this much enjoyment out of an early access title, it’s exciting to think about a feature complete version down the line. And hopefully that feature complete version of Risk of Rain 2 includes the Chef character from the first game *ahem*.

6. Astral Chain (Switch) - In a year full of some real dang weird yet shockingly great games, Astral Chain stands tall as probably the weirdest surprise of them all. You’re a future cop fighting invisible ghost demons from an alternate dimension with your own invisible ghost demon chained to you through some high tech handcuffs. That’s just the first half hour of the game, and it ratchets up the anime nonsense many magnitudes over in the course of its 20ish hour runtime. And it’s great and stupid.

It’s not just the plot that’s over the top, though. Coming from developer Platinum Games, renowned for their nonstop super sweaty action portfolio, Astral Chain spends just as much time tasking the player with exploring its world, characters, and lore as it does asking you to punch enemies the size of skyscrapers (or bigger). It’s a formula that works shockingly well, as I found myself enjoying the downtime segments just as much, if not more, than the action portions of the game. And the action that is there doesn’t really play like your typical Devil May Cry or Bayonetta, either; the player character, while critical to pulling off combos and the like, is not your primary damage dealer, with that role being fulfilled by your five “legions” (the aforementioned ghost demon buddies), all of which have different strengths, weaknesses and abilities. The gameplay ends up feeling kind of like a realtime Pokemon game by way of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and no sentence I’ve ever written has been as cool as that one.

I do think Astral Chain falls a bit short in the combat department, at least compared to other games in the genre. It’s a bit too simplified, despite how crazy looking and overwhelming the actions you and your legions end up doing can be, and I think that the obligatory Platinum-style grading system in this is very poor - it doesn’t seem to grade overall performance so much as it just wants you to constantly be switching your legions in the midst of battle. Which is a great lesson to teach your players, but I would also like if anything else about my combat performance seemed to have significant weight on my grade. Having said all that, it’s a flaw that I found much easier to overlook in the midst of battle when I sent my wolf legion ahead of me, biting and tearing its way through a cluster of enemies, while I hung back inside of my punching legion, finally able to fulfill my years-long Star Platinum “ora ora ora” fantasies.

5. Anodyne 2: Return to Dust (PC) - There’s a lot going on in Anodyne 2, and I fear trying to describe it in words, not only because of all the jargon I’d inevitably have to use, but also because I’m not sure I can do the game justice. To that end, here’s a brief trailer of the game to get you started:

If you find that trailer at all intriguing, Anodyne 2 is definitely for you. And if you’re still skeptical, know that the game has far more to offer than just its (beautiful) low-poly aesthetic. While visually it’s obviously most evoking Playstation 1 era games such as Mega Man Legends, in terms of the tone of its writing it strikes a pretty peculiar balance between Earthbound and Nier: Automata (names I do not invoke lightly!). The visuals aren’t just an aesthetic choice, either - throughout the game you find yourself in 2D overhead areas, solving puzzles inside of the minds of other characters, and these varying layers of abstraction serve to further the game’s message and atmosphere. And it’s all of these things combined that pushed Anodyne 2 over the edge of “memorable” and into the realm of “haunting” for me.

It’s a game that wants to be played and experienced by everyone; you can tell how much love was put into every single corner of the world, every line of dialogue, and each and every single goofy joke. Steven Universe (another seeming inspiration of the developers) is the only other piece of media that has reminded me of just how lost and alone I’ve felt at various stages of life, while choosing not to dwell on that and instead using it as a launching pad to remind me of just how far I’ve come. As the game itself says, Anodyne 2 is a game about life, and I’ve rarely come across one that felt so full of it.

4. Judgment (PS4) - With the release of Yakuza 0 a couple of years ago, the Yakuza games went from a series I was vaguely aware of in my periphery to maybe my all-time favorite video game comfort food. They’re silly, melodramatic, sad, and beautiful, tonally swinging back and forth like a large imposing guard wildly trying to hit Kiryu with a couch section. Most importantly, they manage to feel heartfelt and personal in an age where high budget games seldom feel anything of the sort. I was initially hesitant, then, to play a spinoff that threw aside its entire cast of established characters for a crew that dabbles in detective and lawyer work; I didn’t think there was much of a chance that this new band of very handsome crimeboys with hearts of gold would be able to compare to Kiryu, Majima and the like. How glad I was to be wrong, as Judgment is now maybe my favorite of the Yakuza games I’ve played.

By pulling further out (but not completely away) from the culture of organized crime as the central driving factor of the story, you no longer need to memorize a dozen different yakuza organizations and all of their subsidiaries and patriarchs within, nor do you have to try and remember which side is feuding with who. And that isn’t to say that the story doesn’t have just as many twists and turns; it does, and despite the larger scale of the stakes, ends up feeling more focused and personal. I also found it easy to bond with the two main characters, Yagami and Kaito, as not only do their personalities play off of each other very well, but they simply share more screentime together than I’ve ever seen Kiryu get a chance to do with anyone. Truly, the story ended up being one of my favorites in the entire medium, and I fell in love with the characters to the point where I got misty eyed during the credits.

With regards to gameplay, it’s a Yakuza game. Which means a lot of running around Kamurocho, talking and shopping and playing minigames and brawling. Since the player character in this entry is a detective, there are various mechanics and events related to the profession, such as investigating crime scenes and tailing suspects, but they’re by far the weakest part of the game, and you shouldn’t come to this game looking for incredible detective gameplay. Instead, come to the game for literally everything else it offers, because it’s a fantastic experience all around, and a great jumping on point for anyone unfamiliar with Yakuza.

*Image credit: Steam user Symbol

3. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Frankly, I did not much care for Sekiro for the majority of my first play through. Specifically, I dreaded its boss fights. To go from the sheer joy of being able to dispatch a courtyard full of enemies in any way I pleased in the game’s relatively free form stealth sections, to being killed in a matter of two or three hits to every single boss and miniboss was frustrating; how could I not groan when I started that duel with Genichiro at the top of the castle, knowing full well that I was going to be stuck there for a few (or more) frustrating hours? It wasn’t until the fight against the protagonist’s father figure, Owl, hours later at the same location as the aforementioned Genichiro fight, that something clicked. It only took around 30 hours, but suddenly, instead of approaching the situation like a Dark Souls or Bloodborne boss, I was not only being defensive, but I was being aggressively defensive, parrying nearly every single blow. Suddenly it was me standing in place, baiting out my opponent’s attacks only to throw the force of his own momentum back at him. Suddenly combat made sense in this damn game. And suddenly I was dead again in a quick three hits after inhaling some magic gas that prevented me from being able to heal. But that was ok! Because suddenly this game was amazing, and suddenly I had completed it four times and adored every second of it (except for that fucken four form final boss with no checkpoints).

I still stand by my (and a lot of other’s) original complaint that the disparity between the freedom offered in the rest of the game compared to the unflinchingly rigid roadmap you have to follow in fighting the bosses is jarring game design, and it’s very fun to imagine a version of Sekiro that lets you approach bosses any which way you like. On the other hand, no other game that I’ve ever played, not even Sekiro’s predecessor and my favorite game of this console generation, Bloodborne, has come anywhere close to making me feel this cool when fighting bosses. And that’s a mighty impressive accomplishment on any game’s part, speaking from the perspective of an overweight, sweaty, hairy, very uncool man.

But really, fuck that final boss though.

2. Dragon Quest Builders 2 (Switch/PS4/PC) - When we were around 10-years-old, one of my best friends, Patrick, used to host fairly regular Lego-building sleepovers, where everyone built whatever they wanted, and our creations were then showcased to the rest of the group. Being that the group consisted entirely of pre-pubescent boys, this meant building various robots or cars, all of variable quality/ability to stand upright. During one of these nights, in lieu of the usual deathbot piloted by the ghost minifig, I instead constructed a little bunker for the ghost - a place where, after a long day of being forced (by me) to pilot his mech suit and commit unspeakable acts, he could hang up his ghost hat and be forced (by me) to ponder the morality of his actions. It was just a tiny little room with the necessities: bed, table, bookshelves and pizza, but when presenting it to my friends I proudly declared that the bunker was also located at the bottom of the ocean, a factor that couldn’t be visually represented due to the harsh limits of time, Lego pieces and my ability. I was pretty proud of my cool-down chamber, but if memory serves correctly, it was Patrick’s no doubt boorish creation that was the apple of everyone’s eye. And who am I to try and convince a room full of my peers that actually, a secluded room where you could read in peace for all eternity was much cooler than a punching gorilla bot?

This is all to say that I have never been a creative type, especially when it comes to building. I had previously played Minecraft and the first Dragon Quest Builders, and while I enjoyed them, there wasn’t quite enough there to make me want to engage with them on a level beyond just playing them like any other game - I don’t think I ever built anything in DQB1 that wasn’t required for the sake of progression in the main story, and the less said about my Minecraft efforts the better. Builders 2 expertly sidesteps this issue by wrapping its building mechanics around an engaging and hearfelt story (I got teary-eyed multiple times!), great characters (especially the main character’s mysterious best friend/partner in crime, Malroth) and a lovely localization. It also encourages more freeform building than the previous game by tying the progression of the story to the progression of your main, customizable island. You don’t ever really have to go off into the weeds on your own in regards to building, but the game gives you so many opportunities to fill in the blanks on premade templates that you eventually just become comfortable in doing so. It’s hard to stop myself from gushing about the game, to the point where as I type this I’m questioning why it’s “only” number 2 on this list.

And thanks to DQB2, for the first time in 20 years I revisited my first creative endeavor: the underwater solitude bunker, this time no longer held back by the technology of the day, instead fully realized in digital form. Built as far down as the game would allow my character to dig, hidden beneath the still waters of a reservoir inside of a pyramid, it is truly a testament to mankind’s ingenuity. And it is wicked. Naturally I had my artist (and DQB2 fanatic) girlfriend visit my game’s world so she bask in my true brilliance. I gleefully guided her down to the catacombs and down the intimidatingly long chain that dangled into the deceptively still depths. After a brief swim into the murky unknown, we arrived at our hidden destination at the bottom of the earth, where she was greeted by the sight of my submerged masterpiece. A wry smile snaked itself around my lips, as I knew, was absolutely certain, that within seconds, once she had made it through the de-pressurization chamber at the entrance to my paradise, I would be hearing the words of someone simultaneously shocked, awed, and hopefully only a bit jealous. Instead, I was met with a few seconds of silence followed by a patronizing “Well, I’d have never thought to build something like this.”

So, I guess that’s why Builders 2 couldn’t quite reach the number one spot: true art is never appreciated in its time.

1. Hypnospace Outlaw (PC) - No piece of commercial art has ever felt like it was made for me in the way that Hypnospace Outlaw does. I grew up on the internet during the time period this game’s alternate reality take on the 90s internet is drawing its inspiration from; I have talked at length, to anyone who will listen, about how this early incarnation of the internet felt more like a physical space than it does now, and how much I miss the days of stumbling on to weird Geocities sites, meeting people in AOL chatrooms, and the early days of pirating. I met my first girlfriend through the internet, as well as my current one. The vast majority of the friends I’ve made in my life would not have happened without the internet, and not just because of distance; the internet allowed the younger me to be the person I was too insecure to be in person, and to develop my own voice. I owe who I am to the people I met in freeware fanmade Dragonball Z games and IRC chat rooms, and I think that’s kind of fucked up and magical, and it’s all kind of a miracle that I’m not even more of a mess of a person than I am today. And the developers of this game have clearly had those experiences, too.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Hypnospace Outlaw is for everyone, because it’s absolutely not. It’s essentially a detective game, but you’re solving cases by investigating user made internet pages circa 1997, and the “cases” you’re working on are largely things like bullying and copyright infringement. In other words, you’re mostly just reading gaudy websites and figuring out more about the back end and exploits of the Hypnospace experience. It is incredibly specific and niche and, as someone that sorely misses staying up until 3 AM downloading Winamp skins, I can’t stop thinking about this game, even months later.

I wrote a longer piece on the game on this very blog, and instead of rehashing anymore of it here, I’ll just direct you that way. Though if I may, I’d like to give one last endorsement for the game for any hypothetical person reading this that’s on the fence about trying it - if you’re the kind of person that somehow finds yourself reading this game of the year list, and have made it this far down the page without getting bored, I promise you that you’ll find something to love about Hypnospace Outlaw.

Honorable mentions (for games that were either not originally released in 2019 or I still wanted to briefly touch on):

Dragon Quest 11 S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition (Switch) - Somewhere in between listing the original release of Dragon Quest 11 as my 7th favorite game of 2018 and now, it went from being “a really great JRPG” to “one of the best games I’ve ever played”, and in all honesty should have probably been at the top of last year’s list. A beautiful, unmatched experience all around.

Overcooked! 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The Overcooked games are possibly the best coop games I’ve ever played by merit of them actually requiring communication between players. Framing the game’s mechanics around cooking food, a universally understood act, is brilliant.

Baba is You (Switch/PC) - This is the most clever puzzle game I’ve ever played. Hell, it’s probably the most clever game I’ve ever played period. What prevented me from truly falling in love with it was that every single puzzle after the first couple of worlds became the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do in my life. And while that did make solving those puzzles equally satisfying, the thought of dedicating multiple hours each to stumbling through dozens and dozens more of single screen puzzles was a bit more than I was able to handle. Still, for any puzzle fans, there are some genuinely jaw-dropping moments in this that shouldn’t be missed.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 (Switch/SNES) - The things I didn’t like about DL3 as a single player game are exactly what makes it a great coop Kirby game, which was a way to play this game that I never had the pleasure of experiencing until this year when it was re-released on the SNES Switch app. It’s skyrocketed up my list of favorite Kirby games, as well as become my favorite SNES coop game. Also, Gooey.

Kind Words (lo fi chill beats to write to) (PC) - I don’t quite qualify this as a game, as it’s more of a message in a bottle app with a very warm and charming aesthetic. But if you’ve ever wanted to anonymously reach out to strangers and tell them things are going to be all right while listening to some calming music, this is the thing for you.

Luigi’s Mansion 3 (Switch) - I have a deep, deep fondness for all three of the Luigi’s Mansion games (the GameCube and the original game were my first launch day purchases!), and 3 is by far the best game in the series. Every single moment of it was some high degree of charming and/or cute, and it’s a game I would feel confident in recommending to just about everybody. However, while I truly loved my time with the game and will no doubt replay it years down the road, there was nothing inside of it that really left any kind of deep impression on me. It’s a summer blockbuster in a kid-friendly spooky form, and that’s great for what it is.

Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) - Mario Maker 2, sequel to what I would consider to possibly be the best game Nintendo’s ever made, is by far and away my most disappointing game of the year. It’s still an amazing toolkit, and I’ve been very satisfied with the levels I ended up making. That said, the gaming landscape has changed a lot in the 5 years between the original and the sequel, and with Nintendo’s nigh complete silence regarding updates coming to the game, I can’t consider it to be anything but a massive disappointment. And maybe that will change! But as of this posting, there’s been almost nothing to keep me coming back to the game a mere few months into its life, and that’s a huge problem. All of that said, it’s still a fantastic game and value, especially if (like most) you didn’t get a chance to play the original due to the console it was stuck on.

[pixelgrotto]

D&D With My Bro: The Case of the Almost Assassination

For the last four months, my brother and I have been playing a Dungeons & Dragons campaign that I whipped up called The Case of the Almost Assassination, and we came to a triumphant finale the other night. My bro’s called it a “steampunk mystery set in a fantasy world,” which is a good description, but on a more detailed level, the campaign was also heavily influenced by the Ace Attorney and Professor Layton games and exists in the universe of The Thirteenth Hour, a series of fantasy stories self-published by my brother that are inspired by 80s movies and cartoons. So the whole thing is one huge ball of fun nerdiness, and figuring that it might be cool to chronicle the campaign as we played, I captured each of our sessions on video. You can watch the whole thing on YouTube here in convenient playlist format (listening to it in the background like a podcast is also pretty nice, I gotta say), and there’s over 20 hours there, which is longer than some of the video games I’ve blogged about! 

This wasn’t the first time that my brother and I had played D&D, since I’d previously introduced the game to him via a small four hour mini-campaign last time I visited his house. (He’s written some great thoughts on that adventure, as well as the experience of missing out on D&D in his childhood but getting the chance to discover it as an adult here.) But this was certainly the first time we’d played something long that continued from week to week, and it was also the first time we’d used virtual tabletop software - in this case the very useful Roll 20 - to play online. Minus a few minor internet hiccups, it ran smoothly, and I think both of us had a great time. The experience also made me ruminate on three interesting facts about D&D that I think not enough people write about, and I’m going to jot off a few thoughts on them here. Without further ado...

1) It is perfectly possible, and sometimes even more fun, to play D&D with just one other person. 

Normally, Dungeons & Dragons conjures up images of a bunch of people - usually three or four at minimum - sitting at a table listening to instructions given to them by the Dungeon/Game Master, or DM. But the hardest part of D&D isn’t juggling rules or even fighting Challenge Rating 30 monsters - it’s getting a group of three or four people to meet up together on a consistent basis! This is why you can tell that anyone who still thinks of D&D as an activity for anti-social basement dwellers hasn’t actually played it, because in truth, the game is a demanding social commitment, especially for adults.

Thankfully, while it might be a less common way to play, you can totally enjoy D&D with just two people. Usually this means that someone more familiar with the rules has to be the DM while the other person acts as the player, which is what my brother and I did. Sometimes, the DM will also have to create a player character for themselves, and I did that in order to assist my bro with various battles and tricky scenes. This is more work for the DM, since they’ll have to juggle both their own character as well as the various non-playable characters (NPCs) encountered in the story, but if you’re up for it, it’s a rewarding exercise.

The best thing about playing D&D with just one DM and one player is how efficient it is. Three or four player D&D (to say nothing of five, six, or even more players) can get slowed down by arguments about how to progress or share loot, not to mention downtime in battles when a player who has a bazillion spells at his disposal deliberates on the one he wants to use that will both do the most damage and look the coolest. Don’t get me wrong, I actually love these sorts of interactions, but it’s also nice to strip all that fat away. 

When it’s just one player and the DM, the DM also has the chance to make that player feel pivotally important by basing the story around them. Usually, the “unit” of D&D is the adventuring party, but in a one person + one DM game, the player gets to shine as the main character. Thus, it’s a good idea to choose the sort of story that can emphasize the important actions of an individual, and in my opinion the best ones for this are heavy on role-playing and character interaction rather than dungeon crawling and monster slaying. For example, a rogue adventure in an urban environment might fit the bill...or maybe even a mystery. Which leads me to my second point...

2) If you’re a DM making a homebrew campaign, try utilizing a setting that your players are already familiar with.

When my brother initially agreed to play a long campaign with me, I first thought that we might attempt one of the many published Forgotten Realms adventures that have been released for 5th Edition D&D. But then I realized that while my brother is mildly familiar with the Forgotten Realms, thanks to old comics and fantasy art from the 80s and 90s, he’s much more familiar with the setting that he created for his own fantasy novel, The Thirteenth Hour. My bro originally wrote this book when he was a high school kid and finally published it a few years ago, and in the time since, he’s written some short spin-offs and outlined ideas for a sequel. In the mini-campaign we’d played in October, his character was actually a half-elf ranger named the Wayfarer who’ll play a pivotal role in book two, and I initially pitched the whole idea of D&D to him as “Hey, this can help you brainstorm your sequel concepts before you put them down to paper.” 

Once I began toying with the idea of making a homebrew campaign set in The Thirteenth Hour world, I started worrying that my brother’s universe was limited when compared to the “fantasy kitchen sink” setting of the Forgotten Realms. I mean, my bro’s book didn’t even have orcs! Or dwarves! What was I gonna do! But then I stopped being reliant on fantasy tropes and actually re-read The Thirteenth Hour, quickly finding that there was plenty I could work with.The universe that my brother created doesn’t have all of the races that Tolkien coined, but it’s still full of magic and wonder - a place where crafty old wizards inspired by The Last Starfighter’s Centauri run amok, strange technological anomalies like hover boards occasionally pop up and an otherworldly gatekeeper known as the Dreamweaver lets the spirits of the deceased visit their loved ones in dreams. And there’s also a large kingdom called Tartec ruled over by a vaguely Trump-esque king named Darian, who thinks he’s found the elixir of immortality when actually all he’s discovered is coffee. (If you think this sounds amusing, you can pick up a digital copy of my bro’s book on Amazon for less than a cup of Starbucks!)

Darian’s a funny character, and in one of the spin-off short stories that my brother wrote, an older and slightly wiser version of him reflects on how an assassin nearly took his head off with a dagger. This one sentence got me thinking who that assassin might be, and before I knew it I’d come up with the basic hook of a campaign. At the time, I was also reading Xanathar’s Guide to Everything, a D&D book that introduces 5th Edition’s Inquisitive subclass, which is basically a fantasy Sherlock Holmes. Suddenly, the ideas began bubbling in my head - the campaign would be a detective story set in Tartec with two leads trying to determine the identity of King Darian’s would-be assassins. Once I had this hook, I decided to draw further inspiration from the two video game series I think of when I hear the word “detective” - the Professor Layton games (which I like the style of but am rubbish at, since puzzles confound me) and the Ace Attorney series, which I’ve written about before. My brother would be the main character Lester LeFoe (patterned slightly after Phoenix Wright, the star of Ace Attorney), and I’d be the spunky female assistant Claudia Copperhoof (a little similar to Phoenix’s assistant Maya Fey). 

I hoped that situating these characters in my brother’s world would breed a quicker sense of familiarity than he’d get from playing a generic warrior in the Forgotten Realms, and I think it’s safe to say that the experiment succeeded. Thus, even though 5th Edition D&D products all use the Realms as their default setting, it’s worth remembering that you don’t have to follow this lead, and can always tailor your campaign to a world that your players are already familiar with. In my brother’s case, he’s a writer who made his own world, but for someone else this can easily be Middle-Earth or the Hyborian Age of Robert E. Howard’s Conan books. The D&D Player’s Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide actively encourage modifying published adventures to appeal to your players’ favorite settings, in fact, and not only will this potentially help to decrease the amount of lore you need to explain as a Dungeon Master, but it’ll also help keep the attention of everybody listening to you. Because who wouldn’t want to insert themselves into their favorite bit of genre fiction as a legendary figure? In many ways, the whole point of D&D is to give people a framework to do that!

3) If you’re DMing for someone who doesn’t have much time to play, remember that a linear campaign is not necessarily a bad thing, and simplify the more complicated rules - making stuff up whenever necessary!

On page six of the 5th Edition Dungeon Master’s Guide, there’s a whole section entitled “Know Your Players,” which is all about altering your game to appeal to the personalities at your table. If you’re DMing for people who like acting and appreciate in-depth stories, give them plenty of role-playing opportunities and narrative twists, for instance, and if you’re dealing with folks who’d rather just make their characters look cool, try having them fight lots of monsters who reward snazzy armor and weapons. 

There should really be a sub-section there entitled “How to run a game for players who are low on time.” Because that’s my brother in a nutshell. He’s a late 30s dude who works a demanding job and has two small children to take care of, one of whom is barely half a year old. (You can hear my nephew gurgling in the background in a few of our videos, and sometimes we’d even have to stop playing when the baby woke up from a snooze, which is a situation that I’m sure all new parents can relate to.) I know for a fact that my brother is also the type of guy whose eyes will glaze over when presented with a lot of complicated rules - as is probably the case for anyone who only has at most an hour or two, often in the late evening, to sit down to play a game when the rest of the family is in bed. 

In my opinion, the way to tailor your game to such a player is to make a brisk, well-paced story that they can actually see to a satisfying conclusion. This means that the campaign might be fairly linear - a word which seems to have bizarre negative connotations to some D&D players out there, who are always ranting about “railroading,” which is when a DM puts players down a predetermined path without any wiggle room. I think it’s important to note that “linear” does NOT necessarily equate to “railroading,” however, and that a sprawling campaign with a trillion different outcomes and choices to make at every interval isn’t necessarily the best approach for someone who can only play a little bit each week and might get bored if they feel like they aren’t making tangible progress. 

Let me put it this way - the campaign that I made for my brother was tightly designed. Instead of giving Lester and Claudia a vast landscape to explore, everything was confined to the city of Tartec, and I made an effort to nudge the characters towards certain objectives that they had to complete in order to solve the mystery, such infiltrating a manor house in the upper class section of town. But I also made sure to flesh out these few areas (quality over quantity) and allowed a certain degree of freedom in how the objectives could be cleared. For instance, I initially thought that Lester and Claudia might sneak into the manor house through the sewers. But as I was brainstorming strategies with my bro, the topic of disguises came up, because Claudia owned a disguise kit. And eventually we decided to infiltrate the party with Lester masquerading as a nutty old lady and Claudia as his keeper, which was a fun improvisation that I never would’ve anticipated - but still a viable way to complete the main objective that didn’t negatively impact the story’s pacing. 

On the topic of keeping the pace of the story brisk for a player low on time, I feel like it’s also important to minimize the number crunching and reduce D&D’s more complicated rules whenever possible. In practice, this meant that I took care of as much behind-the-scenes stats management as possible so my bro wouldn’t have to, though I did always try to explain to him what was going on (and what all of those funky dice rolls meant) so he’d have some understanding of the game’s mechanics. Also, whenever we were in a situation where I wasn’t sure of a rule, instead of wasting time looking at the Player’s Handbook, nine times out of ten I’d just make something up on the fly. For example, our adventure had a friendly NPC orangutan in it (specifically chosen because I know my brother likes backflipping primates) and she was supposed to be a super strong, unpredictable force of nature in the final battle. I’d lost the stats that I’d used for her when she first appeared, and instead of looking for them, I decided to just roll a d20 for her damage, figuring that the end result would be close enough. In that same vein, there were a few instances where I made mistakes, since I’m still a relatively new DM. Once I totally miscalculated a character’s special attack, leading to a funny NPC death (which I’d expected but not exactly in that way) and on multiple occasions I flat out forgot to apply modifiers to attack rolls. But instead of going back to redo everything I’d either just laugh it off or forge ahead, hoping that my bro didn’t notice, which he never did. 

Ultimately, my philosophy for DMing is to not sweat the small stuff TOO much if it probably doesn’t matter in the long run, especially if you’re running a game for just one person whose free hours are precious. I believe this sort of approach might be sacrilegious to some of the more rules-oriented DMs out there, like the ones who spend hundreds of words arguing over damage variables on the D&D Subreddit. But I’m not one of those folks, and I’d prefer to follow the advice of Sly Flourish, a DM who has a great website where he advocates a “lazy” style of Dungeon Mastering which de-emphasizes nitpicking over rules in favor of just having fun. 

At the end of the day, having fun is what D&D is all about. It’s a game of make believe that can really bring out your inner storytelling-loving child, and in an era where very few adults are encouraged to even consider the concept of “make believe,” it can be a truly wonderful breath of fresh air. And if you don’t believe me...I encourage you to watch The Case of the Almost Assassination and try not to crack up at some of the situations that Lester LeFoe and Claudia Copperhoof found themselves in. :)

The pics above are either art that I assembled for our adventure or screenshots that I took while we were playing! The little figurines I designed via HeroForge.

[63824peace]

Monday, 21st of november 2005

Every morning I read the newspaper column "Vox Populi, Vox Dei." It has appeared in the morning edition of the Asahi Journal for a long time, offering some of Japan's finest writing for one hundred years.

No matter how busy I am, I never miss reading "Vox Populi, Vox Dei.”

I start reading "Vox Populi, Vox Dei" on the front page whenever I read the newspaper. Then I browse the table of contents to survey the whole issue. I remember where to find the articles that attract my attention, and then I turn to the second page. I move from the General Articles to the International News Articles. I read everything in the order of its presentation until I get to the TV schedule, which I rarely read these days.

I don't dwell for long on the Sports section, but I give a good part of my attention to the International News Articles. I also take time to check out the advertisements that run along the bottom of the page for recently published books. I catch the movie ads that run in the evening edition too, of course.

I used to read the newspaper backwards when I was a boy... I would start with the TV schedule and move to the National News Articles. I was an unusual boy who just liked to read backwards, as they say.

"Vox Populi, Vox Dei" actually got me to read the newspaper from the front-page forward. School entrance exams always included something from "Vox Populi, Vox Dei," so the students forced themselves to read the column while cramming for school.

They write a new "Vox Populi, Vox Dei" column every day. The writing focuses on current events and seasonal topics, with a variety of intellectual and cultural slants taken on the given topic. They condense current affairs into the short essay format really well. It's a concise, interesting, and useful column. Sometimes it even invigorates the mind like a masterful short story.

The Asahi Journal collects its columns every season and collates them into a book. The English language edition appears at the same time as the Japanese.

Newsprint is an informative medium. A journalist applies his subjective point of view to his story of course, but he does so without emotion. Our digital age can easily drown us in a sea of information, and that's because none of the information has any character. It lacks the force of human passion.

Humanity needs more than merely information. We express original ideas, humor, and our personal wills. We express passions and emotions. A person's point of view conveys all of these aspects of identity.

"Vox Populi, Vox Dei" never names its authors, but there's such a huge difference between their writing and the meaningless news bytes that infest the Internet. A pageant of emotions runs through "Vox Populi, Vox Dei." I anticipate each day's article as personal reading material, rather than cold news.

I have longed to become a writer or novelist ever since I was a boy. I thought, "I want to grow up and write for 'Vox Populi, Vox Dei' one day!"

HIDEOBLOG is an official blog. I write as though it were a diary, but I can't deny that it becomes part of the ruck of media sent into the world. I suppose it will have its readers as long as it remains dispatched media.

I feel peaceful when I read "Vox Populi, Vox Dei" every morning. I know that it sounds presumptuous, but I would like to convey the same experience through HIDEOBLOG.

I saw an advertisement in the Sunday paper. "Attention high school students! Challenge 'Vox Populi, Vox Dei!' Write for the column in the 'Vox Dei, Vox Nova' contest!"

The advertisement called for participants in a contest created and sponsored by the Asahi Journal Company. Entrants must complete an original "Vox Dei, Vox Nova" contest entry using their own words. They must write a continuation of the "Vox Populi, Vox Dei" paragraph that appeared on the front page. That's the subject for the given contest.

The contest will run in January. It sounds interesting... I would participate if I were a high school student.

Gucci and Ryan returned from their business trip to America. Gucci brought me the PS2 version of GUN, and Ryan brought me the Xbox version of Stubbs the Zombie.

I've been really eager to play these foreign games. I had considered waiting for GUN until its Xbox 360 release, but I couldn't help myself and opened it. I last played up to the part when you board the steamship. The atmosphere is good... it looks interesting.

I really enjoy both legitimate Western cowboy films and the Italian Macaroni Westerns. I naturally supported Red Dead Revolver when it hit the stores a few years ago. A game with nothing but a Western theme won't sell very well though. I'd like to make a Western game myself, but I haven't yet hardened my resolve.

I'd really like a game like GUN to become a best-seller.

I had ordered Director Teruo Ishii's film Feudal Pornography: Bohachi Bushido over the internet, and at last it arrived. Director Ishii has unfortunately passed away, but I'm pleased to see his works released on DVD. The Tokyo Fanta's ten-year anniversary event had been dedicated to Teruo Ishii's memory, and it was a huge success.

Feudal Pornography: Bohachi Bushido stars Ms. Yuriko Hishimi, and it's one of my favorite films for that reason. More to the point, I love the fact that she doesn't wear a stitch of clothing!

Ms. Yuriko Hishimi was my first love as Ultra-Seven's Agent Anne. I like Director Ishii's movie for more than just that reason, of course. The story's setting in Yoshiwara, the narrative development, and the perspective are all quite interesting. It's a film made to entertain, and it doesn't leave anything out.

However, it's an adult movie, so I can't recommend it to minors. Naturally I only saw it once I had become an adult.

The military equipment for our OOOO Training arrived at the office. We received all three of the styles that we had requested: Shin-chan's, Murashu's, and mine. We checked how well they fit by trying on the equipment that we'll wear over our other supplies.

We each felt like the bounty hunter from Domino.

We're going to apply professional camouflage during training, and we'll use this as the base for our outfits. Shin-chan and Murashu plan to make Ghillie Suits to prepare for training. We'll have cold weather during training, so we'll wear our fatigues underneath our flight suits. That ought to warm us up.

Rettsu tried it on. He looked like the monster Woo from Ultraman.

Murashu tried it on too. He looked like the monster Zazaan, also from Ultraman.

Phantom has provided all of this equipment. The Aggressor Group provided the holsters, gloves, and chest rigs. Phantom will lend us a big hand while we produce MGS4.

I had browsed through Phantom pretty frequently when I lived in Kobe. That was over fifteen years ago. I would visit their stores in Sannomiya and Umeda. I was crazy about military stuff back then. Phantom also supplied my very first camouflage and dog tags. My camo was the woodland pattern, and my dog tags had "Solid Snake" engraved on them.

I ate Gingjiao-rousi for lunch at the restaurant Fuuton San Raakyo.

I played a little bit of Stubbs the Zombie in the afternoon. The zombies shuffle through a world depicted in a retro-futurist aesthetic, kind of like Metropolis. It's awesome! I can't help myself when it comes to this type of imaginative world.

The game has an outstanding concept too. "Those who have been eaten by zombies soon zombify themselves!" I had wanted to make a zombie game like this! This is exactly the vision I had in mind!

My film buddy Director Yudai Yamaguchi had also recommended Stubbs the Zombie.

This is the ideal zombie game, hands down! This is the real thing! The game probably won't make it to Japan though, regrettably.

I have wanted to make an online game that utilizes this genuine zombie aesthetic. The core idea is that everyone zombifies who has been eaten by a zombie. I've talked about this more than once during interviews, and I've written about it in serialized articles.

Here's the basic idea.

First, a player logs on as a Zombie Hunter in a necropolis. He goes through the whole login process, including setting up an online payment account. The player will then hunt zombies. The game ends when all the zombies in the city have been destroyed.

However... if a zombie bites the player's character during the hunt, the character zombifies and wanders the city himself.

The player can't control his zombified character, but he can still manipulate the camera. The zombified character must live disgraced in the digital world.

And the online gaming fee will continue to tally while the zombie wanders the virtual streets.

If the player isn't happy with this, he can create a new Zombie Hunter. He can hunt down his former, now-zombified character. However, if zombies bite the new character then he zombifies too. The number of zombies associated with the player's payment account increases, and the fees continue to tally for the second character. This is real zombie simulation!

I want to make that game someday.

Mr. Nishimura bought me a copy of the CD soundtrack to Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. Unfortunately, they haven't released a Japanese version yet. We're stuck importing it from Korea.

I asked Mr. Nishimura since I couldn't find it anywhere, and then he got it for me! Wonderful! He is the king of soundtracks.

The CD includes some scenes from the movie, and it comes with a deluxe booklet. It has colored photos and the score's sheet music. The musical instruments intone the sentimental melodies in ways that really fit the Christmas season. I recommend the soundtrack as well as the movie.

I saw many Hangul characters (the Korean alphabet) after I finished transferring the music to my iPod. I felt refreshed to see that my iPod had become trilingual.

In the evening I re-read the Asahi Journal's morning edition. I stumbled across the "Vox Dei, Vox Nova" contest for general public entrants. The earlier contest had required that entrants use the concept of a river (or rivers in general) as their theme.

A forty-year-old housewife from Ibaragi Prefecture won that contest. She wrote a fantastic piece that interwove the ideas of a river, the family, and other aspects of life together.

The next contest will require entrants to use movies as their theme. The deadline is November 30, and it should have a word count between 620 and 680 characters. Should I submit an entry?

Then I heard my own personal Vox Dei....

"What are you thinking!? You don't have time for that. You need to make your game!"

[callmehawkeye]

Watched in 2017

Kids For Cash (2013): It’s easy to sit here as someone without a personal stake in this documentary’s focus, but, what I took away from it is the Luzerne County scandal contained nothing but very human individuals working out their own perspectives and self interests within justice and school systems set up to fail; or those holding office who don’t have proper insight. People fighting shades of grey with black and white theories. Children’s lives were disrupted during peak development years and even though their records were expunged, you can see the damage being impossible to reverse.

Capturing the Friedmans (2003): An introspection of a family in crisis; I believe in the 14 years since this documentary released there’s enough information available for armchair detectives to see through any biases this film presents and displays the depth trauma and denial can go.

The Jinx (2015): A miniseries focused on the life and crimes of Robert Durst where the man himself is interviewed and occasionally forgets he is wearing a hot mic.

Hannibal Buress: Comedy Camisado (2016): A great standup special that made me smile and cackle. Can’t wait to see more of Buress.

Other People (2016): Sure, it’s another cancer movie, but the family relationships and performances make this such a lovely film to watch.

Fences (2016): Play-turned-film about a family in the 1950s and the metaphorical fences they put up to keep each other safe but also to stop from connecting. Lots of great monologues put in by the cast.

Westworld (Season 1): Called all the big twists, but it’s still a great show with wonderful storytelling, scenery, and acting.

The Straight Story (1999): Best film I’ve seen by David Lynch. Poignant and moving.

Suicide Squad (2016): UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’m not much of an original storyline purist, but if there’s a strong story handed to you ready-made on a silver platter -- why make it weaker? Why not attempt to understand the context at all?

American Honey (2016): Gorgeously shot, but I really found the story content to be a bit cliché and done before but better.

Vampire’s Kiss (1989): I don’t know so much about the comedic part of this labeled black comedy when it really comes off as a quite disturbing account of a lonely, mental ill man’s downward spiral. But fun, bizarre, and unique nonetheless. 

Pete’s Dragon (2016): Not the best kid and their dragon story. Not the worst. Not the best Disney remake. Not the worst. Eff gritty reboots. I want the kid to stay with their dragon.

Killer Legends (2014): Documentary uncovering the true stories behind urban legends; the man with a hook for a hand, the babysitter with a call coming from inside the house, poisoned Halloween candy, and a killer birthday party clown.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017): While I liked The Lego Movie, I was more about Batman and how he was voiced by Will Arnett. This movie is a cesspool for in-jokes and references and I was crying nearly the entire time with laughter.

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016): Oh my god. Oh my god, why.

Tokyo Godfathers (2003): A moving story about three homeless individuals who discover an abandoned baby in the snow around Christmastime. Their search for the mother displays beautiful animation and storytelling.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017): I’m so happy the sleeper buzz of the first one got to me a few years ago. I’m so beyond thrilled with the product of this sequel that doesn’t lose its self-awareness and bite.

Train to Busan (2016): Best zombie movie I’ve seen in years and years.

Newsies Musical (2017): A lot of missteps and overacting; but still the lovely show I know and adore with flawless dancing.

Hidden Figures (2016): A film showcasing the overshadowed and overworked women of color NASA employees. Superb acting all the way.

Night of the Demons (1988): 100% ‘80s horrible, but I kind of loved it?

Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (2017): I want to write individually, uniquely written thank-you cards to everyone who made this possible.

Get Out (2017): Gorgeously shot, acted, and written; full of detail, homages, symbolism, and foreshadowing. I’m obsessed. I’m so proud of Jordan Peele and cannot wait to see what he does next.

La La Land (2016): More like Blah Blah Land.

Moonlight (2016): A gorgeously shot character study of a young man’s dichotomy of black masculinity and homosexuality.

The Belko Experiment (2017): A clever and funny horrorfest of a desk jockey company locking its employees in and pitting them against one another for a battle to the death.

Logan (2017): THIS is the Wolverine we’ve wanted. My creyes. Thanks or all the years of dedication, Jackman.

A Monster Calls (2016): For such an imaginative story as a boy’s imagination assisting his grief, it’s rather dull and removed.

The Imposter (2012): A documentary of a French national faking the identity of a missing, and much younger, American boy.

Best in Show (2000): This is literally my life now.

Tangled: Before Ever After (2017): Such a cute continuation I’ve always wanted from one of my favorite Disney films. Sweet songs, characterizations, and animation.

Ordinary World (2016): Billie Joe Armstrong in his first starring role as a man hitting a midlife crisis. It’s been done. But there’s something particularly charming about its cast and execution.

Beauty and the Beast (2017): ...Eh. It’s pretty? Some of the additions are cute and thoughtful. But it feels like a shot for shot remake.

Christine (2016): A dramatization of the real life story of Christine Chubbuck, a news correspondent who committed suicide while live on-air.

Arrival (2016): Amy Adams was robbed from a nomination. In my opinion, this is her best work ever.

Beware the Slenderman (2016): HBO documentary covering the true crime of the Slenderman-inspired stabbing and the young girls who conspired together to commit it.

The Fits (2015): A young girl in Cincinnati observes others around her spiraling into epileptic-like episodes as she joins a dance team and undergoes many pre-teen milestones. 

The Queen of Katwe (2016): The true story of the chess world’s Woman Candidate Master Phiona Mutesi.

The Love Witch (2016): I love literally everything about this ridiculous movie? With its purposeful presentation acting and romantic aesthetic? 

Jackie (2016): Natalie Portman was spellbinding.

An American Wereolf in London (1981): Took me forever to watch, but reignited my love for werewolves.

Loving (2016): True story of interracial couple Mildred and Richard Loving who got married in the late 1950s.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016): I’ve lived this genre. I grew up with this genre. I devoured hundreds of films, television series, and novels about this genre. If it were the first I ever saw, maybe I’d have liked it better. It’s fine. Just not for me.

 The Founder (2016): What a wonderfully expensive and affective commercial for McDonald’s. Now put Michael Keaton in more movies!!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016): I’m excited for the extensive look in Rowling’s universe. While hard to not compare to Harry Potter and lacking the groundwork of connection to a book series I grew up with since 11 years old, it certainly grew on me.

The Boxtrolls (2014): Late to the game on this one, but another fine film from the Laika company. I’m becoming a huge fan of theirs.

The Lost City of Z (2017): A refreshing movie to watch that’s driven by characters more than plot and with minimal CGI. Gorgeous acting. Gripping motivations and convictions. Beautiful scenery and set designs. Reminiscent of an old Hollywood epic.

Tickled (2016): Frustrating documentary about the online “competitive tickling” community and the shadiness of key players.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016): I’d probably have enjoyed this more if I hadn’t watched the Lego Batman Movie first, but I got thorough amusement from the in-jokes and returning cast of talent.

Cat People (1942): Oh look, it’s the most I can hope for in my near future.

Mommy Dead and Dearest (2017): HBO documentary about Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose Blancharde.

Drag Becomes Him (2015): I fucking love Jinx Monsoon.

A Star is Born (1954): Judy at her best.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 3): I wish this season was more focused, but it gave me some moments I’ll never forget.

Wonder Woman (2017): I already plan to go see this again and make it my theme for my 30th birthday this year. I love it that much.

The Girl on the Train (2016): Zzzzzzzzzzz

House of Cards (Season 5): You can always tell when a showrunner leaves. Robin Wright saved this show for me.

Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016): I don’t know many comedians who can make me instantly switch from laughing to crying.

Papillon (1973): There’s something captivating about this film that you don’t see every day. True storytelling epic.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (1976): Sidney Poitier is charming, and the behind the scenes turmoil for Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy had me sobbing.

Who Took Johnny (2014): The true crime story of the abduction/disappearance of Johnny Gosch.

Master of None (Season 2): There was something so maddening about Dev this season. Well, not “something.” He fucked up a lot and was quite unlikable. The directing and international film homages were second best to Denise’s single background episode.

The Beguiled (2017): Quite beautiful, great acting. Typical Sofia Coppola and entertaining enough. Not necessary for me to view again.

Baby Driver (2017): This is a standout film for me this year. It made me incredibly happy and so proud of Edgar Wright.

Orange is the New Black (Season 5): Justice for Poussey.

Excalibur (1981): I hear this is both the best and definitive version of the King Arthur myth. But everything else is really bad, and this is acceptable. It has some strong elements and covered the largest span of the myth’s time.

The Old Man and the Sea (1958): The most simply shot and presented film I’ve ever seen. Spencer Tracy is an absolute dear.

HitREcord on TV (Season 1): Such a satisfying and inspiring series to watch.

Atomic Blonde (2017): A lot more spy noir than I expected, but the action I went in anticipating was thrilling and impressive in its choreography. Loved the aesthetic and loved the soundtrack even more.

HitREcord on TV (Season 2): It’s really motivating to watch people go through the creation process in this.

Adam’s Rib (1949): Such a silly story, but Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy’s dynamic is ev. er. y. thing!

BUtterfield 8 (1960): The behind the scenes story is much more compelling and interesting.

What a Way to Go! (1964): This is honestly the most perfect movie I’ve seen in years. There is nothing about it I didn’t love nor recommend.

Detroit (2017): Not exactly the best thing to watch after Charlottesville, but it is a story that needs to be heard and not forgotten. Nothing has changed.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017): The runtime felt too long. But it’s still the best portrayal of Peter Parker so far. Such a refreshing Marvel movie to watch in the midst of my over-saturation outlook on their films. A smaller spec story was very-much needed.

T2 Trainspotting (2017): Most sequels made 20 years later aren’t anything to write home about. But man. This exceeded expectations.

Hurricane Bianca (2016): Just the kind of movie I want from a drag queen. Just the right amount of camp, message, humor, and fabulousness. 

Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (2017): I don’t think there’s anything that makes me consistently laugh this hard.

Ma Vie de Courgette (2017): Stop-animation about the connection and imagination of orphaned children in a healthy home environment.

Brigsby Bear (2017): The most unexpectedly unique and heartfelt movie I’ve seen all year.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977): Oh, so that’s why people like this movie so much.

Shameless (Season 5): More Ian, please.

Cat Women of the Moon (1953): Masterpiece. Aesthetic. My future.

Last Action Hero (1993): I feel like I unwittingly wrote this exact story as a teenager. Loved it.

The Bodyguard (1992): I will always love Whitney.

Table 19 (2017): Legitimately charming.

Kingsmen: The Golden Circle (2017): Not as good as the first, but plenty of strong ideas that I enjoyed with a lovable cast.

mother! (2017): Fucking horrifying and sent me into an anxiety attack that lasted longer than a day -- ethereal and quite the theater-going experience.

Sunshine on Leith (2014): Proclaimers musical. Pretty by the numbers, but very eagerly genuine and sweet.

The Powder and the Glory (2007): PBS documentary about Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein. -- I’m Team Rubinstein, by the way.

It (2017): A great retelling of the original story with a strong and likable cast. I’m excited to see who they cast as the older counterparts in Part 2.

The Zookeeper’s Wife (2017): An interesting perspective of who is left behind during wartime. 

Sgt. Pepper’s Musical Revolution (2017): PBS documentary on my boys.

Fist Fight (2017): 90 minutes of line-o-rama comedy. But I love the lead actors.

Gilda (1946): My, my, my Hayworth. Finish him.

I Am Heath Ledger (2017): A retrospective of Ledger with interviews by those legitimately closest to him. Very touching and insightful.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017): The most visually stunning film I’ve seen in a long, long time.

Personal Shopper (2017): Kristen Stewart stars as a woman living in France, waiting for a sign of life from her deceased twin brother.

Gifted (2017): I’m here for Evans and Evans alone.

XX (2017): Four horror shorts directed by women, each uniquely shot and told.

The Promise (2016): The movie was sold short by a misdirection in advertising; it’s more -- and interestingly so -- about the Armenian genocide than just another wartime love triangle. Come on, guys. Polyamory. Polyamory is always the answer.

The Circle (2017): Unwatchable. The film itself doesn’t even know what it’s trying to say.

The Public Enemy (1931): Mostly watched this because of the closing of The Great Movie Ride, above all else.

Leverage (Season 1): Race to finish all 5 seasons before it’s taken off of Netflix. I love this team.

Leverage (Season 2): I have so many feelings about these characters and their relationships with each other.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): Polyamory. I told you. The answer is always polyamory. And bondage.

Stranger Things (Season 2): I’m so happy this is finally here, and so mad I’m already finished.

Leverage (Season 3): I love the slow development and bonding the team has gone through.

Leverage (Season 4): The more ridiculous and implausible the mission, the more I love the episode.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017): I don’t care that it was “too funny.” It was exactly what I wanted out of a Marvel movie.

Leverage (Season 5): Well. It’s official. I’ve been Stockholm-syndromed by a show.

The Foreigner (2017): It was fine. It was another misleading trailer, so not what I was expecting. But it was fine.

The Thing (1982): Mmm mmm mmm ‘80s Kurt Russell in a solid John Carpenter thriller/horror.

To Have and Have Not (1944): Bogart and Bacall is goals.

Alien: Covenant (2017): Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017): This is actually a solid sequel I greatly enjoyed. It’s been a few years since I’ve enjoyed a Marvel movie, and now I have two!

The Librarians (Season 1): Okay, this is a good Leverage replacement.

The Librarians (Season 2): This show is super endearing and I’m pleased it exists.

Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer (1992): Going to the My Favorite Murder live show encouraged me to finally watch this.

Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (2003): An update and deeper delve into Wuornos. Super upsetting to watch her mental deterioration unfold onscreen. 

The Librarians (Season 3): All caught-up for season 4 in December!!

Sleight (2016): I had a difficult time watching this movie. There was something about the sound-mixing that triggered some anxiety and auditory stress. But I liked what I could see of it.

Cujo (1983): Probably my second-favorite King movie now. Very simple, yet effective.

Lady Bird (2017): I’m happy to have seen this before the hype got too big. It was so relatable and enjoyable.

Christine (1983): Quite entertaining, great music, top camp.

Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie (2017): Mostly made up of callbacks, but I DO NOT CARE. Such a satisfying nostalgia bookend.

Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri (2017): Fantastic dialogue and performances. I feel so many side stories and characters were meant to build up the main storyline and give context, but I feel it left a lot of characters wanting and left used. 

Novitiate (2017): I had no idea the Catholic church did the sisters so dirty with Vatican II. Very tense film and makes you quite sympathetic for the women in it.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (2016): Spectacular HBO documentary of my goddess and the mother goddess. I cried a lot.

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (2012): Documentary follows Chinese artist and figure, Ai Weiwei, as he uses social media and activism in his art and to hold the government accountable.

Shameless (Season 6): Needs more Ian. Tired of everyone else’s bullshit. Will I last much longer?

Calamity Jane (1953): Casting Doris Day as the butch Calamity Jane is the most hilarious and gay thing I’ve ever seen and I love it.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017): It’s beautiful, but such a terrible adaptation that guts any tension, stakes, and even mystery as well as gives little for the talented cast to cut their teeth on.

Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo-Qiang (2016): The attempts and execution of a 1,650 foot ladder made of fireworks.

Monster (2003): Ohhhh, THAT’S why Charlize won the Oscar...

The Big Sick (2017): So charming and such a legit romantic comedy.

The Disaster Artist (2017): I watched this in the same way I watched the room: Through my fingers, curled up on my side, and whispering, “Stop. Stop. Stop.” I loved it.

Coco (2017): Well, Pixar fucked me up once again.

My Friend Rockefeller (2015): Documentary about con artist and murderer Christian Gerhartsreiter.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1): De. Light. Ful.

Shameless (Season 7): Finally caught up!

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017): Yes. I see the faults. I understand. I just don’t care. I absolutely loved it. 

The Greatest Showman (2017): Probably my biggest disappointment of the year. The cast and musical numbers were great, but everything in-between was so weak and uninteresting. For a non-diagetic musical, they never earned their musical moments. I’d rather have watched a non-Barnum circus movie all about ZEfron and Zendaya for 2 hours with Jackman in the Master of Ceremonies role. It felt like every non-musical scene was trying to sprint through to get to the next song.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017): I didn’t expect to adore this as much as I did? Jack Black was the standout and was so endearing and respectful towards teenage girls!

The Little Hours (2017): My forever mood/aesthetic in film form.

Gook (2017): Black and white film about the ‘92 L.A. riots from the perspective of two Korean-American brothers.

Carnage (2017): Mockumentary made by Simon Amstell told from the future where veganism is the norm.

Good Time (2017): An epic told over the span of 24 hours of a bank robbery gone wrong.

Dave Chappelle: Equanimity & The Bird Revelation (2017): Chappelle’s latest Netflix specials, back to back. I don’t agree with a lot of what he said and didn’t always laugh. But when he reached me, he did it right.

Battle of the Sexes (2017): That haircut scene helps fuel my Emma Stone fantasies. 

I, Tonya (2017): While I do believe Harding never takes responsibility for herself when she should, I still can’t begrudge her place in media history.

The Shape of Water (2017): This movie was fucking everything to me.

2016 | 2015 | 2014