#and am incredibly appreciative all of your lovely words honestly what did i ever do to deserve this sweetness

[searidings]

Hope you're doing okay Faye!! <3 Miss you and think about your good (and chaotic) energy a lot, hope life is treating you well!

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl. Chapter Six.

Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight. Chapter Nine. Chapter Ten. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - You finally start to appreciate the happiness that having a soulmate brings.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. so much fluff.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5k

Author's Note - the sixth installment!! thank you to everyone who voted in my poll - I listened, and decided to make this chapter as sweet as pie, because I think we all need it. it's nice to have a little break from the angst. just a liiiiittle break though. a tiny one. as always, thank you for all of your love and support and enthusiasm and patience and kindness towards this story. so much love for every one of you. <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

"Are you happy?"

You stretch your feet further into the sand and sit up, wiggling to get comfortable on the picnic blanket.

"That's a big question to start with."

Stella laughs and closes her notebook, deciding to take a different route than originally planned.

"I just mean... be honest with me. I'm not gonna be offended if you say no."

"Do you think I'm gonna say no?"

"Do you always have to answer my questions with questions?"

You tilt your head and watch her, smiling softly.

"I thought this was supposed to be an employee performance review."

"You're not my employee and you know it."

Both of you laugh, the sound whipped away by the sea breeze.

"Then what am I, Stella?" you chuckle.

"You're basically my partner. Come on, we've done all of this together. You helped me build this business from the ground up - I couldn't have done it without you."

You go to protest, so she continues.

"I think you should be. My partner, that is. Obviously there's logistics to work out, but it'd be fifty fifty. You and I, co-owners. It doesn't feel right to me that you're my 'employee'. I'm not your boss. We're equals."

Your mind is running a mile a minute, trying to process what Stella's asking of you. Being her business partner is an opportunity you know is rare and incredibly special - and it could potentially set you up for life - but you can't help but think about the fact it's a big commitment. About home. About Bucky.

"You don't have to answer me right now - I just want you to think about it. We always talked about opening up businesses of our own. I should have asked you to be my partner at the beginning, but honestly... I didn't know if you were gonna stick around. It kinda felt like you had one foot out the door when we started."

You take a deep breath, nodding.

"Yeah. I, uh - I think I did. Don't get me wrong, I was super excited, but the idea of moving away when I felt like I'd just got home was a lot to process. I'd just settled back there, and then I was gonna be packing up all of my stuff again and shipping myself across the country. "

"I didn't realise it was so tough for you, you know. I just assumed you wouldn't mind moving. I mean, you were always up for it, back at school."

"Things changed, after I graduated. I got home, and a couple of things happened and I guess it just... turned everything upside down. Home is different now. In a good way, I think."

"You're different now, too."

You look at her carefully, half attempting to read her mind.

"How do you mean?"

"You're... more grounded. More careful. You think through everything way more than you ever did. Almost like you've realised you're not invincible anymore."

There's a feeling, when you're young, that you're indestructible. Unharmable. Broken bones mend, cuts and bruises heal, hearts and minds forget about their aches if you give them long enough.

Then one day, that feeling is gone. And you realise that you're mortal - made of flesh and blood and bones that will one day be returned to the Earth, whether you like it or not.

Meeting your soulmate is like having that realisation again, but bigger. Again, and again, and again. You don't live for yourself, anymore. You live for them. The pain they'd feel if they lost you is unfathomable, completely unimaginable.

So you become more careful. Less reckless. You drive a little slower, take things a little easier, quit your dangerous hobbies and unhealthy habits. You need to be alive for as long as possible. And you know your soulmate will do the same.

That's how you can tell a Tethered person from an Untethered one. Ask two people to go skydiving with you, and the Tethered one will tell you no. They can't risk it. It's not worth it.

Stella's right. You have realised you're not invincible anymore. You're a little more cautious when you climb ladders, you don't balance precariously on the kitchen counters anymore. You look twice when you cross the street, and don't risk it if there's a car coming and you could maybe get across.

You're also painfully aware that Bucky's older than you. He'll be turning forty in less than two years. Sure, he's not ancient, but it does mean you'll have less time together than Lacie will with Cameron, for example. And that hard truth makes you live a little less recklessly, every single day.

"I guess I just... grew up."

You're honestly not sure why you don't just tell Stella about Bucky. You know she'd understand. But there's a part of you that feels protective over what you have - territorial, even. Your Tethering is sacred, almost, and you feel the primal urge to guard it with your life. To lock it in a box and keep it away from anything that could harm it. The less people that know, the less damage that can be done. Maybe.

"I did too. The world is kinda scary now we're not in that little culinary school bubble, huh?"

"Yeah," you laugh. "We thought that was hard. Little did we know."

"Take your time, thinking about my offer. But just know that I really, really appreciate the fact that you're here. That you believed in me enough to move across the country. It means a lot."

"Of course," you say, reaching across to grab her hand. "I always believed in you, Stella. I always knew you'd do something great."

"We'd."

"Hmm?"

"We'd do something great. The two of us. Together."

"I always knew that we'd do something great," you correct.

You're starting to believe that, as time goes on. You were born to do this. You deserve to live your dreams.

Let the happiness seep through, you'd told yourself.

It finally feels like it is.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"There's a guy here to see you."

Isabel pops her head around the door, grinning at you like she knows something you don't.

"Again?"

She nods, giggling.

"Let me guess... he's hot, tall, brown hair?"

"Bingo."

"Thanks, Isa. I'll be right out. Is it busy out there?"

"It's quieter than it was. There was a pastry rush this morning, but we're good now."

You laugh and hang up your apron, washing your hands quickly before making your way to the café.

You feel like you're having déjà vu, this situation oddly familiar.

Just like Isa said, he's stood waiting with his back to you, broad shoulders filling out his powder blue short sleeve button up.

You're excited to see Rafael again. You've been trying a new cookie recipe for his sister, and you're eager to get him to try it. You're mentally making a note to buy a nice box to put them in when you feel it.

The lights get a little brighter, the colours a little more vibrant. The tightness in your chest eases, allowing you to take a full, deep breath. You can suddenly hear the birds outside singing, melodies drifting through the open doors like a summer breeze.

The man turns around, and it's not Rafael.

It's Bucky.

You're moving before you can even process it, running and jumping into his arms. You inhale, revelling in his familiar scent. He's here. Your happiness has arrived.

"Surprise," he laughs quietly into your ear. "Miss me, honey girl?"

You beam a grin at him, pulling away to look at his handsome face.

"More than you'll ever know."

"Oh, I know. I feel it."

He places a hand over his heart gently, looking at you with pure adoration.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's been a month since your Mom's birthday. A month since I've seen your pretty face. A month too long."

You roll your eyes jokingly, so he continues.

"You don't mind that I'm here, do you? Because I'll go, if it's too much for you. I know me showing up unannounced is a lot to process."

"Don't go," you reply quickly, grabbing his hand. "I want you here, Buck. More than anything."

He leans in and presses his lips to yours, cradling your face in his warm hands. The background of the café melts away, the man in front of you the only thing that matters.

You pull away and smile at him, pressing your forehead into his gently.

"Come back to the kitchen with me. Let's get away from all the noise."

You grab his hand and pull him with you, ignoring the excited giggling from Isabel behind the counter.

Bucky perches against a counter, leaning back to allow you to stand in between his legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and peck his lips, stealing kisses in between giddy smiles.

"I hope you weren't expecting a day full of super exciting adventures. I've got a list full of stuff I've got to get finished by closing."

"Honey, I'm more than content to stay here and watch you work. There's nothing I love more than watching you bake."

You run your fingertips over his face carefully, gently tracing his features as you look at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care what we do, as long as we're together."

You wrap your arms around his middle, holding him as tightly as you can.

"I feel like I hit the soulmate jackpot," you whisper.

"No one's as lucky as I am," he whispers back. "Now, come on. Let me see you work your magic."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Bucky, it turns out, makes a damn good assistant.

Instead of just watching, he volunteers to help in whatever way he can. You set him onto weighing your ingredients, so you can focus on making and decorating. He takes his job very seriously, measuring down to the precise gram each time. You can't help but grin as you watch him concentrate, determined to get it right.

At lunch time, Isabel brings you both coffee and sandwiches, entering just as you're teaching Bucky how to properly fold in ingredients.

"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"You could never. Isa, this is Bucky. Buck, this is Isabel. Our best waitress."

He holds out his floury hand for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Isabel. I've heard a lot about you."

"You have?"

Her eyes light up as she looks at you, fighting the smile off her face.

"My honey talks about you all the time."

Isabel glances between the two of you, clearly trying to figure things out.

"And you two are..."

"Soulmates," you say at the same time as Bucky does.

Her jaw drops for a moment, before she laughs.

"Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually."

You roll your eyes at her lovingly before Stella's voice calls her name from out front.

"I better go. But me and you are gonna talk about this later."

"Fine," you laugh.

"Nice to meet you!" Bucky shouts after her, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I like that we're just telling people now."

"Yeah, me too, actually. I thought it'd be scary, but... it feels right."

He slings an arm around your middle, pulling you into his side.

"We've still got the two most important people left to tell."

Your muscles tense and Bucky feels it instantly, running his thumb in patterns over your hip gently.

"I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm almost ready, Buck. We can't avoid it forever. Next time I'm home, I think we should do it. We should tell them."

Bucky hooks two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Are you sure? Once we tell them, we can't undo it. We'll only do it if you're one hundred percent sure."

"I'll be ready when the time comes. It'll be a huge weight off of both of our shoulders, which I think we both need."

"Okay then," he says, kissing your forehead. "Next time you're home."

Isabel clears her throat from the doorway, smiling sheepishly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this again, but... there's a guy here to see you."

You laugh, untangling yourself from Bucky with a kiss to his cheek.

"Send him through. Thanks, Isa."

The man you were originally expecting to see this morning walks into the kitchen, envelopes in his hand.

"Hey!"

"Hey, Rafael."

He gives you a quick hug, before waving at Bucky.

"Hey, man. You've gotta be the soulmate, right?"

Bucky chuckles, coming over to shake Raf's hand.

"Yeah, that's me. How'd you know?"

"Are you kidding? You can feel it the minute you walk into the room. There's like, electricity in here."

You laugh, hiking yourself up to sit on the counter. Bucky stands next to you, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"Here," Rafael says, handing you an envelope. "We're having a gala next month, for the charity that has supported my sister. We'd love it if you could come - and bring your date too, of course."

"I'd love to," you say as you read the invitation. "Do you need me to bring anything? You know I'll happily make something, if you guys need it."

"You would?"

"Absolutely! I could bring a cake, if you like? I haven't done a proper, three tiered cake in forever. I'd love to."

"That'd be... amazing. Seriously. We just want to raise as much money as possible."

"Of course. Thanks for these, Raf. How is she?"

"She's okay. She's getting a tiny bit stronger every day, and that's all we can really ask for."

You reach a hand out to squeeze his in support.

"You know where I am if you need anything."

"Of course. Thank you, so much. I've gotta run - I've got like a hundred of these invites to deliver. But I'll see you at the weekend?"

"For sure. See you, Raf!"

"Nice to meet you, Bucky."

"You too, man. Take care."

Isa shows Rafael out of the door, winking at you on her way out.

"Damn, he's handsome," Bucky laughs.

"Isn't he?" you giggle. "Nothing on my soulmate though, I'm afraid."

"Shut up," he blushes, leaning in to capture your lips. "You wanna get dinner when you're done here?"

"Yes, please. I'll show you around my new apartment too."

"Can't wait."

There's not an ounce of tension in your muscles as you finish up your bakes for the day, gliding around the kitchen while Bucky stands and watches your every move.

If you could pause time, this would be when you'd do it. You'd be content to live in this moment forever.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The minute Bucky walks through your front door, he inhales deeply. The entire place smells like you, cosy and golden.

"You like it?"

"It's gorgeous, baby. I love the windows."

He makes his way over to your kitchen, where the glass panes run from floor to ceiling. Sitting on the bench pressed against it, he takes in the view, savouring the feeling of the sun on his face.

You sit down on his lap, draping your legs over him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Nuzzling your face into his jaw, you press a kiss to the stubble, resisting the urge to lick the salt off of his skin.

"Come on," you murmur. "Let me show you my bedroom. The sun sets in that direction, so it's always beautiful in there."

You grab his hand and walk him across the apartment, swinging open the door to your room and pushing him inside.

He takes in the space for a moment before turning in your direction, striding over to smash his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his shirt and pull him closer, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth with ease.

Bucky leans in to trail kisses down your neck as he slips your shirt over your head, making quick work of unclasping your bra with skilled fingers. He grasps your chest in both hands, massaging gently as he nips at your throat.

"So fucking pretty," he murmurs. "Haven't stopped thinking about you since you left me."

You whine and unbutton his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders. You're desperate to see more, desperate to feel his skin on yours, desperate to bare every inch of him.

Your fingers make deft work of his belt, sliding it from its loops and throwing it to the ground. You unpop his button and slide down the zipper, pulling his jeans off his legs in no time. You shimmy out of your skirt, leaving you both in your underwear.

The evening sun seeps through the window panes, illuminating the room in hues of orange and gold. The light hits Bucky's skin, making him glow in a halo of love and adoration.

He walks you backwards, wrapping an arm around your back to throw you onto the white sheets of your bed. Crawling over you, he settles in between your legs, pressing gentle kisses from your ankles to your inner thighs.

"The way you look when you come has been burned in my mind," he whispers. "Need to see it again. It's been too long."

He slides your underwear down your legs and wastes no time, diving into you like a man starved. He devours you, tongue never ceasing it's movements. His hands pry your thighs apart, one arm thrown over your stomach to keep you still. When your muscles start to shake, Bucky doubles down on his efforts, lapping and sucking at you like you're his lifesource.

"Oh, Buck, I'm-"

You see stars as you come, white and silver shapes flying through your vision. Bucky never stops, prolonging your release for as long as he can. When you go boneless, he ceases, pressing kisses to the inside of your knee.

"You okay?" he murmurs, moving so his body smothers yours.

"I'm good," you smile, leaning up to kiss him. You groan when you taste yourself, wrapping your legs around his waist.

"Need you, baby. Please, Buck."

"You sure?"

You smile at him, cradling his face in your hands.

"Couldn't be surer."

He dips down to lick into your mouth once more, shucking his boxers off and throwing them across the room. Slipping a condom on, he lines himself up, eyes meeting yours.

"I need you more than I need air to breathe," he murmurs. "You know that, don't you?"

"Buck," you breathe. "I've been going crazy here without you."

He goes to speak, but stops himself, instead leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"I know," you whisper. "I know."

Bucky slides home in one smooth thrust, both of you gasping. One of his hands finds your hip, the other resting against your throat as an anchor. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms snaking around his shoulders.

"Fuck me, please."

"Fuck," he groans. "I'll be replaying that in my head forever."

You chuckle breathlessly, gasping when he draws his hips back and forward again. He sets an even pace - not too fast, not too slow. He has you right where he wants you, both of your bodies in perfect synchronisity. It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything's fallen into place.

Bucky dances his fingers from your hip to your clit, rubbing firm circles. He plays you like a violin, your muscles tensing as you get closer.

"That's it, pretty girl. Fuck, you're so good for me. You close, honey? Gonna come for me again?"

You nod frantically as he picks up his pace, hips colliding with yours. He groans as you tighten around him, head dropping to rest against yours.

"Come for me, honey girl," he whispers. "Please."

Your back arches as you find your release, nails scratching at the skin of Bucky's back. The pain tips him over the edge, spilling inside of you with a deep groan. He collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving.

"I think we're naturals at that," you chuckle hoarsely.

"You think it's the soulmate thing, or are we just that good?"

"I think we're just that good," you laugh, pushing him off your body so he lands next to you. You link your fingers with his, resting your head on his chest.

"I need a drink."

"I was just thinking that, actually. You wanna go out? Know anywhere?"

"There's a cute little bar that looks out over the cove - it has good food and good cocktails. You wanna go there?"

"I'd go anywhere with you," he affirms, pressing a kiss into your hair.

"I'd kill for a pineapple margarita right now."

Bucky sits up suddenly, bringing you with him, arms wrapped around you.

"Then let's go get my girl a pineapple margarita."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The golden lights adorn the beams of wood above your head, the deck illuminated in the gentle glow. The ocean waves break the shore in a comfortingly repetitive motion, a calming soundtrack to the evening. You sit across from Bucky at your table for two, the sunset casting orange hues across the horizon.

"It's beautiful out here."

"Yeah," you agree, smiling. "The view is pretty good."

Your eyes haven't left his, lost in the sea blue of his irises. He chuckles, running his thumb over the back of your hand where it rests atop the table.

"This is our first date, you know."

"Really?"

"I mean, we've been 'dating' this whole time - but we've never gone out and had dinner like this. Held hands and all."

"You're right. Our first date of many, huh?"

"Our first of countless," he grins, brushing his lips over your knuckles in a gentle kiss.

"Where do my parents think you are?"

"Visiting a cousin in Nevada."

You laugh, and the sound makes Bucky light up, electricity running through his veins.

"You're a scarily good liar."

"To everyone but you."

"I used to think I was a good liar. Until I met you, that is."

Just as he's about to respond, your waitress appears, two pineapple margaritas in hand. She takes your orders and leaves, smiling at you.

"Oh, shit. She forgot to give us straws. I'm gonna grab some - be right back."

You chase her inside, tapping her shoulder gently.

"Excuse me - could I get a couple of straws, please?"

"Of course. Sorry!" she apologises, handing them to you.

"Thank you! Your shirt is so cute, by the way."

"Thanks - it's thrifted! You're gorgeous, girl. And your boyfriend is stupidly hot too. You're a pretty couple."

You thank her and laugh, returning to Bucky with a grin on your face.

"What's got you smiling?"

"The waitress called you my boyfriend."

"Huh. As much as I love the commitment... boyfriend kinda sounds like we're in ninth grade, doesn't it?"

You throw your head back, laughing with your entire being.

"That's what I thought. There's gotta be a better word. Partner? No, that makes us sound forty."

"I am almost forty."

"Oops."

Bucky rolls his eyes, but he can't wipe the blinding grin from his face. He takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture of you, admiring the way the breeze caresses your face as the setting sun beats down.

"Sneaky," you tease. "Let me see?"

He hands you the phone, letting you look through. You swipe right one too many times, and accidentally land on a picture of a blueprint laid out across a kitchen counter. His kitchen counter.

"Babe... what's this?"

You don't miss the way Bucky's cheeks heat up, blush creeping across his chest that's exposed by the V neckline of his blue button up. He stutters for a moment, before finding his footing.

"They're blueprints. Plans for a house."

"A house?"

"I want to build a house."

When you keep looking at him softly, he doubles down.

"I want to build a house for us."

Your breath hitches in your chest, the world going silent momentarily.

"You... you do?"

"My Dad worked in construction my entire childhood. I watched him build houses, apartment buildings, bungalows... everything. I've always wanted to do it, but never had reason to. Until now."

You squeeze his hand, urging him to continue.

"I've been planning it for upwards of ten years. But I'm taking it more seriously, now. Those blueprints are the final ones. It's all mapped out, down to the square inch. I've made some modifications for you, obviously."

He zooms in on the picture, pointing out areas on the plans.

"I've added a big island in the kitchen with a tonne of storage in it, for all of your supplies. I know you have that huge mixer, so I've made sure there's enough space for it to fit underneath with the doors closed."

You take a deep breath, lump in your throat forming unwillingly.

"Up here, there's a window at the top of the stairs. I've added a sketch of a bench which I'll upholster, so you can sit and read in the sunlight."

Tangling your legs with his under the table, you urge him to continue.

"I've also made sure there's a balcony off the master bedroom that overlooks the garden. I know how much you love sitting on yours in your apartment at home. There's probably like a hundred more little modifications for you, but those are just a few."

Tears are running down your cheeks freely, emotion escaping you like a flash flood.

"Bucky..."

"If it's too much too soon, please tell me. I won't be offended, baby. I know it's a lot."

"It's perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You jump up from your seat and around the table, throwing yourself into his lap to kiss him happily.

"I can't wait to build a house with you, Buck."

He grins at you, joy radiating off him in waves.

"Buck?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He blinks back tears for a second, processing the words he's been waiting to hear for what feels like an eternity.

"I love you too, honey girl. My pretty baby."

He leans in to kiss you tenderly, the rest of the world melting away. It feels like it's just the two of you, floating on cloud nine.

Suddenly, you get it. You understand why people say this is the greatest thing that'll ever happen.

It is. They were right all along.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

After several pineapple flavoured cocktails and a taco or four, you and Bucky take a slow stroll home, hand in hand along the sidewalk.

"You wanna have a sleepover tonight?" you ask, digging your heels into the ground to stop yourself from skipping with glee.

"Can't think of anything I want more," he chuckles.

You walk a little while longer, content to bask in the comfortable silence.

"Guess what happened a few days ago."

"What, honey?"

"Stella asked me to be her business partner."

He stops where he is, turning to face you but never letting go of your hand.

"Wait, really?"

"Mhmmm."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I was unsure, at first. But I'm going to do it. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. We had to take a business class in culinary school, and I actually learned a lot. I've had a business plan for the future of the café drafted up for months. Numbers, locations, investors, everything. I'm really serious about this, you know."

He's gazing at you like you hung the moon, eyes bright and adoring.

You sit down on a bench, looking out over the coastal path. Bucky joins you, arm heavy over your shoulders.

"I can't stay here."

His head whips around.

"Baby..."

"I mean it, Buck. I like this city, I do, but I just can't settle. It feels like a placeholder until I can go home. And it's not fair to Stella, if it feels like I'm half in half out."

He goes to speak, but you're on a roll.

"I'm suggesting that we franchise the business. It's the logical next step anyway, it was just a matter of choosing the right location. I'm proposing somewhere a hell of a lot closer to home. To you. To my parents. And that means we'll have one branch on the east coast, and one on the west. We can start filling the middle, in the future."

"Are you... are you sure?"

"I've never been surer of anything, James Buchanan Barnes. I wanna start my life with you. Telling my parents, building a house, furthering my career. I'm ready, now."

Bucky grabs your face in his warm hands, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. It's all the answer you need.

"I want you to read over my plan, when we get back to my place. But it's tight, Buck. I've been perfecting it for months. There's no way Stella can say no - I've made it so she won't want to. Besides, she just wants me to be happy. And this... this will make me happy. Happy beyond words."

Bucky stands up, wrapping his arms around your middle to bring you with him. He spins you around, laughing when you squeal in surprise.

"I'm so proud of you, honey baby. I love you so much."

"I love you," you grin. "More than I ever thought possible."

Bucky practically carries you home, both of you giddy on excitement and hope.

You wake up tangled in his arms, sunlight beaming down onto your skin through the open window. Happiness, you think. It's finally here.

Happiness. It's finally here.

tag list part one -

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[the-laughing-lunatic]

Mediscout cute headcanons!!!

(Omg yea I love these guys so much, def one of my main ships. I also rlly like their dynamic in emesis blue but y’know, not very cute. I have a lot of thoughts about these guys so I accidentally made this really long— word count: 1714. Thx for requesting! :3)

Medic x Scout headcanons!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

☆Platonic☆

Scout’s definitely scared of Medic at first 

I mean, when your coworker mentions plans about putting a baboon uterus inside you you’re gonna be a little on edge

Avoids checkups for so long Medic has to find him and drag Scout himself to the medbay

“Sheiße, you are acting like a little child right now, it is not such a big deal Herr Scout. I am simply going to check a few things.”

“Well I’m sorry if I ain’t too thrilled to have some psycho puttin’ needles or animal parts or whatever in me.”

Medic groaned. “I just need to check your temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure. Now can you please shut your mouth and let me work?”

While he took Scout’s heart rate, both annoyed, Archimedes flew to Scout’s shoulder and nuzzled into the man’s neck

After the checkup Medic sighed and ushered his dove over. “Him? Really Archimedes?” 

The dove cooed. “Well then, I trust your judgement, I suppose I’ll try to be nicer to him.”

After that he did try to be kinder to Scout, staying around him more, listening to what he’s saying at dinner, looking through his room to learn more about him—

That’s not how Scout interpreted it though, and one day when Medic was trailing a little too close to him again he just snapped “Will you fuckin’ cut it out!?”

“Cut what out?”

“This- this weird stalkerish thing you’re doing. What, you makin’ fun of me? You gonna take my organs in the middle of the night? What do you want?”

“Oh. I was trying to be nicer to you. I could stop if you want.”

“If you wanna be nice you could try talkin’ to me for once.”

And Medic did

Both of them are absolute yappers, and Scout quickly got more comfortable with Medic as they talked more

He’ll never forget the first time he saw Medic laugh

Like, genuinely laugh

He’d seen Medic laugh many times before, either on the operating table or during battle but it was always just…scary

When he actually laughed Scout couldn’t help but laugh as well, because Medic’s real laugh was so different of what he had thought of him

It was warm and nice, and suddenly Medic wasn’t just this psycho ex-doctor, he was also his friend

When they go out for drinks Medic often has to carry Scout back to the base because of his incredibly low alcohol tolerance (not that it’s hard though)

Medic would teach Scout how to take care of his birds in the case he was especially busy, Scout’s their godfather now

I feel like they’d also work well in a qpr, though Medic would have to help Scout a little since he’s been comfortable with his asexuality for longer and has probably been in one before

I headcanon them as both on the ace spectrum so I’m gonna delve into that a bit

I feel like Scout is graysexual while Medic is completely sex-repulsed

Scout honestly would’ve thought he was allosexual for the rest of his life until he heard Medic talking about how being ace felt for him

And he was like “huh, I relate to some of that”

Scout definitely has a lot of questions though

“So like- what’s romantic? Cus I don’t wanna take this too far, but you’re my cucumber, or squash— whatever the word is an’ I wanna show that I care about ya.”

“It’s zucchini, Jeremy. And the point of being in a queerplatonic relationship is that we get to make our own rules for what works for us. All you have to do is ask me if you want to try something.”

“Oh, um, well then. Is it okay if I kiss your cheek, doc?”

“Yes, Jeremy, it’s very okay.”

♡

Biggest dorks ever btw

Just so you know

☆Romantic☆

Medic would fall in love (or realize it at least) over something trivial

Accidentally brushing hands, a word of praise after a battle that made Medic especially appreciated, Scout falling asleep on his shoulder at movie night, etc.

It was weird, because Scout was almost the opposite of his type, he was loud, arrogant, and less than intelligent, but he accepted Scout as the outlier

Even though Medic fell first he didn’t initiate it

Though his moral compass was less than straight when it came to advancing the field of medicine, it felt weird to be the one starting anything with a guy nearly 20 years younger than him

He even performed a brain scan on Scout just to double-check his brain was fully developed (surprisingly, it was) so he could feel less weird about his crush

For a long time he just thought of it as an enjoyable distraction, not anything that could go anywhere

Scout liked Ms. Pauling, and Medic was fine with it. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to date Scout, he just liked the idea of a relationship, and Scout was an attractive man he could project those wants onto.

At least that’s how he reasoned it to himself

The giddy laugh Medic couldn’t help but let out every time he saw him, the way he always made sure to be gentler when he gave Scout his shots, how a Boston accent now equaled attractive in his mind (that didn’t come from Scout though, that’d be ridiculous)

With Scout though, his moment of realization was much less trivial

He was at four health a minute away from the end of the match, desperately trying to keep the blood from the bullet wound in so he wouldn’t have to go to respawn

Getting in respawn at the end of a match was miserable, because you might get stuck in there for hours after so everyone tried to avoid it at all costs

Scout’s eyes widened as he watched his health drop to three, no dispenser in sight

He closed his eyes and mentally prepared himself for sitting in the cold room for god know how long, until he saw a light above him

Holding his medigun, Medic stood above him, and the red glow surrounding him as he healed him made him almost look like an angel, his saviour

A psychotic angel, but an angel nonetheless

He felt Medic grab him by his collar (at what point did his knees go weak?) and say to him “Get up schweinhund, and fight.”

They won the match, at least that’s what Scout heard, he didn’t remember anything after Medic saved him

His entire body was on autopilot until the time he went to bed, when he had all night to think about how he was definitely attracted to guys

He definitely had a type though, regardless of gender

Glasses, dark hair, smarter and more mature than him (though that was a low bar), an itty bitty bit psychotic and have huge honkers— (jk jk jk) 

Scout starts coming to the medbay for the tiniest things now so he can see Medic more

“Medic, I got a splinter” “Medic, my elbow’s sore” “Medic, I have a major crush on you and don’t know what to do with it”

After a bit of this, Scout just gave up excuses, Medic didn’t seem to mind his company

It became routine, after dinner Scout’d follow him to the medbay and talk with him while  Medic filled out paperwork, occasionally giving a nod or short question to let Scout know he was still listening

One night though, Scout didn’t follow him back

Medic was disappointed, he had gotten rather fond of his chatter, but shrugged it off as Scout being tired

After a few minutes of paperwork, there was a knock at the door

He opened it to see a very nervous Scout holding a bouquet of roses

“H- hey doc! Um, y’know, we’ve been hangin’ out for a while, I really like you, and I hope you at least like me a little, so, uh, wanna go on a date sometime? Please?”

Medic just stands there for a solid bit before taking the flowers and smiling. “I’d love to.”

Scout takes him to a nice restaurant (that was definitely his idea and not Spy’s) and pays the bill for the both of them, which was substantial because Medic has a taste for the most expensive things on the menu

And Scout is a hella picky eater

“So like, can I have the steak, but - and stay with me here - you grind it up, grill it, cut one of the rolls in half and add the steak, along with fuckin’ ketchup, mustard, lettuce, pickles—”

“Sir, are you describing a burger to me?”

“...yeah?”

“It’s on the kids menu.”

“Oh. Sweet, then can I have that?”

After the date Medic lets Scout kiss him

They suck I hate them so much I don’t think about them all the time (lying)

Nicknames Scout calls Medic: Doc, Angel, Angelcakes, Babe

Nicknames Medic calls Scout: Hase, Schatz, Liebling, Dear

On the battlefield Scout’s constantly by Medic

“Hey Angelcakes, check this out!” “Didja see that? Didja see that?”

If they have to be separated any time Scout sees him he’ll give Medic a kiss

“Hase you’re at ten health, can you please stop trying to kiss me for a second so I can heal you?” 

“Ugh, fine.”

After he’s done Medic gives Scout a kiss. “Thank you, on your way.”

Clingy ass motherfuckers

Scout’s way more obvious with it than medic though

Medic hardly even has to do anything, they’ll just be talking and Scout’ll notice half-way in the conversation that he’s cuddled up in Medic’s arms

Scout often sits in Medic’s lap as he works, rambling on about some comic he read or whatever.

After a few months of dating Medic only sleeps in Scout’s room

It feels more homey than his, which he admittedly already slept in very little due to his unfortunate habit of passing out at his desk

Nights often consist of Scout cuddled into Medic’s chest while Medic reads aloud to the both of them

(real talk reading together is such an underrated couple activity can we talk about this—)

“ —alright, that’s the end of the chapter. Liebling, are you asleep?”

“Nah, just relaxed. Love you angel.”

“I love you too Jeremy, Goodnight.”

They are the biggest saps ever and I will stand by this until the day I die

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

[yandere-yearnings]

I tried, but Im also running on 3 hrs of sleep, IDK how he actualy looked like as a teen, but I imagine he was a lanky, greasy (former) twink, also he's dringing one of those small canned coffee. thats also his first ciggy lmao, IDk whats going on anymore, but I just kept drawing sebastion.

AHHAHJDJSK HE'S PERFECT???? THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SMTH TO SMILE ABT TODAY, I APPRECIATE IT SM😭💕 i am absolutely in love w/ how smooth your lineart is and the attention to detail like,, you drew his little two wolves shirt and the choice of colours for it is literally so pleasing to my eyes (i want one😩) i love the chain on his trousers too!! AND HIS HAIR😭😭 I LOVE WHAT YOU DID W/ IT SM IT SUITS HIMMMMMMM IT'S SO PRETTYYYYY❗️❗️ also, sidenote but i really love the bg as well and how you outlined him on it bc it really makes for the prettiest composition🥺✨️

really hope you can get some rest as soon as you can btw bc ik running on low sleep is literally the worst feeling ever😔💔 make sure to take care of yourself, okay?? hope you've been doing well🥺🩷

i'd say you imagined him really well bc he was actually all of those things. sun and dice's fridge when they were teens was full of canned coffee and carrots (the carrots were sun's😭). you're kinda making me wanna write dice in his emo era, he stole his first cigarette from his aunt and you can bet he coughed the shit out of his lungs🤧

(gonna totally make dice play stardew valley, meeting sebby is gonna be like looking at his past self watch him get passive aggressive if you tease him abt it)

really, thank you so much for sending this in and taking the time out of your day to draw it bc it has genuinely made me the happiest. i actually saw this ask and i stopped and was like;

i will never be able to put the feelings into words but my heart feels so incredibly full and I'm just honestly so grateful, i can't say it enough😭❤️

[darkcrowprincess]

A Percy who did join Luke, who gets to sit on his lap during important meetings and learn all sorts of cool battle tactics from monsters who have lived and died for centuries and millenia.🩷

*Am I really going to write another drabble when I have a million wip drabbles unfinished in my tumblr drafts? Of course I am! You are feeding into my adhd procrastination you know! And I love it, keep doing it *

When Percy enters the room, all eyes turn to him. He can't help but have a flash of anxiety hit deep in his stomach at all the eyes. Both monsters and demigods a like sitting at the long table. The eyes were all expressing different things. Mostly distrust. It makes him want to walk right back out.

"Percy! Good your here! Come sit by me, we were just about to discuss battle strategies." A warm and happy voice says.

Luke is at the head of the table, and it's the happiest Percy has ever seen him. His eyes are only for him. They caress his form up and down. Appreciating the nice casual dark blue suit jacket and new jeans he bought for him(https://images.app.goo.gl/m6voL599mtzBLHWf9). It's both a gift from Luke, and for Percy to be a serious impression. Or at least that's what Luke says. Honestly Percy feels like Luke just wanted an excuse ogle Percy's form in nice fitting clothes(not that he minded, nope not at all).

Percy walks right up to Luke. Passing by quickly many monsters. Keeping his head held high and trying not to be nervous. When he gets to Luke, he sees Ethan and Silena sitting on Luke's right hand side. Silena smiles in reassurance. Ethan just frowns. Before he can pull out the lone chair on the left, Luke makes a big statement.

Without a word he pulls Percy to sit on his lap. Percy blushes red, making his tan skin tint rose on his cheeks.

Percy embarrassed, whispers in his ear, "What are you doing asshole?"

"Setting some boundaries. They fear me, now. So they have to know your off limits."

Percy wanted to punch Luke for it, but at the same time he also found it incredibly hot and cute how protective he was. No one besides his mom ever felt the need to be protective of him. Coming from Luke, someone he thought he would lose in the worst way possible. It was a bit of an ego boost. It made his decision to leave with him all the more satisfying.

Percy decides to make a statement to, turns Luke's face towards his and kisses him fully on the mouth in front of everyone. That quickly pulls back to whisper in Luke's ear.

"Fine but it works both ways. If I'm yours, your mine. Got it?"

Luke's pupils widen at Percy's words. He full on smiles, showing his teeth. Pleased and happy at Percy's declaration of devotion. A vow.

"Got it." Luke squeezes his thigh, that they turn back to face table.

"Alright let's get to work."

They spend the next few hours at the meeting on Luke's boat. Percy learn all sorts of cool battle tactics from monsters who have lived and died for centuries and millenia. He even adds a few bits of input and ideas himself(who would have thought, camp half bloods big hero would be here, willingly helping to destroy the gods?). All the while Luke keeps him on his lap. The statement clear for all to see. I'm his and he is mine, and fuck anyone who tries to hurt us.

@dark-emperor-ciska tell me what you think? I hope it's not too short. I hope you like it.

[soracities]

Ur so eloquent and i love ur posts about the societal pressures associated w makeup!!!! 💗💗💗 u put everything I feel & think about into coherent words and I so appreciate that! Also I would like to hear ur thoughts on plastic surgery bcuz I am also annoyed. If I see that smug smiley little dickhead plastic surgeon tiktoker on my FYP one more time saying “ohhh my patients r beautiful. Anyway here are all the procedures I’m gonna do to alter their ethnic nor unique features and make them look totally different” I’m gonna scream. The patronising pseudo-kindness is almost worse than when he goes completely mask-off about exploiting insecurity - like the vid he made laughing w the caption “when a 20yr old says she’s doesn’t need Botox bcuz she’s gonna age gracefully.” I’ve spent a lot of time cultivating a healthy self-esteem & generally not defining myself by my appearance - yet even I felt a flicker of my old insecurity seeing that post. I block every post referencing plastic surgery and I STILL get them. It’s incessant & so insidious - esp for poc. My 13yr old cousin (who watches lots of tiktok) told me she’s saving up for a nose job and a BBL when she turns 18 and my heart fkn broke. No 13yr old shld even KNOW the term BBL.

I feel so much for your younger sister, anon, because whatever else I may have gone through with my own insecurities at 13 (and they were profound and absolutely did a number on me), I genuinely cannot begin to imagine what it's like to cope with all of that in the age of TikTok and IG and the added pressure of beauty influencers magnifying everything.

Honestly, my thoughts on cosmetic surgery are very complicated--I don't think it's something that's ever going to go away, and to be honest I'm not even sure if it's about that. I know people who've had cosmetic procedures done and I know it was something deeply important for them and I know how much happier and at ease they felt afterwards--I'm not going to judge or begrudge anyone that happiness because the reality is, as much as it would be amazing if we all loved and celebrated ourselves and each other, everyone's individual constellation of insecurities and worries is completely different and not everyone will be able to address them in the same way.

To live in a world where we are not defined and punished for our physical differences would be an incredible thing, but we don't live in that kind of world--and so learning to be at peace with yourself in the midst of the world we do have, learning to accept your body or any individual aspects of your appearance is incredibly difficult--and these difficulties are influenced even more by gender, or race, or the culture in which you live etc., or even just the people around you. Do I wish my friends could see what I see? Of course. But I also don't know what they see, or how deeply that runs, or the impact that has on them. Because I also know that, when it comes to myself, I don't see what they see, either. I've said before that I find prominent noses absolutely beautiful--but I know that I cannot impose this on someone who has had to live their life under constant comments about their nose (or any other feature), to the point where they feel that is all they are to people. I don't condemn people for the choices they make in this, but I do condemn the structures and societal expectations that force some people into certain choices in the first place by normalising this idea that there is a "correct" way to look (and I'm not immune to it either--I have a lot of profound insecurities that are incredibly difficult to get past).

It's very similar to how I view makeup in some respects because whatever choices people make when it comes to cosmetic procedures should feel like choices to them. But not all cosmetic procedures are made equally and my real issue with cosmetic surgery (and in my mind I distinguish it from plastic surgery because they are not the same to me), more than anything else, is when it becomes a tool for upholding and celebrating particular beauty standards that are deeply gendered, politicized and racialised while claiming it is "just" a matter of aesthetics, which is deeply, deeply insidious to me. "Aesthetics" have never been neutral. Even the language we use in talking about it isn't neautral: "fix", "adjust", "improve" etc. Improve according to whom? Why do they decide this? At the end of the day, no matter what you say about the golden ratio there is nothing wholly objective about beauty because human beings are not static Ideals; you cannot distill beauty into a mathematic formula like a conch shell because beauty is not something separate from the thing it occupies. These ideals work for Plato, but we are living, breathing, moving, exsiting in the here and now. A static image of a beautiful woman in a Vogue covershoot is just that: an image. And all the rules that govern that image fall apart the moment the model moves again, the moment she becomes a person again.

And besides, nothing can be "just" aesthetics in a world with the warped beauty standards that we have. There's nothing neutral about nose jobs in a society marred with as much anti-black racism and antisemitism as ours. There's nothing neutral about BBLs in a society that fetishizes black women's (and other woc) bodies as ours. There's nothing neutral about buccal fat removal in a society so plagued by thinness as not just a physical but also a moral ideal. I read a horrifying article on GQ a few months back about men undergoing cosmetic surgery to widen their jawlines so they appear more "manly"--and a surgeon in the article casually said one of these patients also "needed a rhinoplasty" which made me see red: nobody needs their face smashed open for the sake of an arbitrary standard whose very purpose (Beauty) requires the existence, and therefore manipulation and condemnation, of its opposite in order to appear valid. These beauty standards only have value so long as their opposites have no value--but these "opposites" are not disembodied traits: they are real human features that belong to real breathing human beings who have to live surrounded with this rhetoric for their entire lives. There's nothing neutral to me about looking at a human face and dissecting all of its features, ascribing values to some, and disparaging others, as though they exist as separate building blocks you can rearrange at will. In some instances, it skirts too close phrenology for me, and I'm not saying that lightly.

These are some of my thoughts but as I said, my views on this are very complicated and I have to be careful how I talk about some of it because there are some things that genuinely make me deeply angry. Again, I don't believe the solution is to get rid of cosmetic surgery, because I don't think that will ever really work and I think it misses the point--most people will always have something about themselves they'll want to change or just wish was different and for some people more than others they will want to make that change: and I would much rather people have access to legal, qualified, accountable medical professionals when they do. But in cases like your sister, in cases like that GQ article, in cases like that TikTok surgeon (I have no words, anon, truly...), or really just TikTok in general, in cases like ethnic rhinoplasty and eyelid surgery, the fact that the number of people getting Botox has grown since the increase in video calls and Zoom meetings....in all honesty at this point I am just tired and infuriated by our refusal to have an actual conversation about the society these procedures exist in and are normalised within and I'm especially tired when influencers and celebrities make a point of not being upfront about their own procedures. I don't care what people get done or why (as long as its a freely made choice for no one else's sake but yours), but I do care when we make it as acessible as these procedures are now, when they are tacitly (and in some cases outright) encouraged, and yet talking about them or admitting to having had that work done is somehow gauche and I am incredibly tired of it!

[windvexer]

Hi chicken! I’m in a bit of a sore spot when it comes to spirit work and psychism and have been for a LONG while. Between my hard skepticism keeping my brain bricked off from most of my intuition and my adhd preventing me from focusing for long periods of time I’m kind of at a loss… I have no idea if I’ve ever had an encounter with any kind of spirit, only one persistent instance comes to mind and I have trouble discerning if it’s just…an imaginary friend? A thoughtform? I have 0 experience with the latter for multiple reasons. I have no problems with mental visualization because my profession requires it, but where does normal visualization begin and spirit communication end? I’m not sure where im going with all of this, maybe I just wanted someone else to know my spirit troubles 🥲 I guess all this to say, I’m desperate to communicate with ANYTHING, but nothing ever comes except that one guy who may or may not be a spirit. Am I being too stubborn? Do spirits think my vibes stank? (I promise my vibes aren’t stank) honestly forcing open any psychic stimulation sounds good right about now, any opinions or advice would be incredibly appreciated 🙇🏻‍♀️

I am going to tell you something very terrible and claustrophobic.

I do not believe you are a skeptic, I am sorry to say. I find that all the best spirit workers are deeply skeptical.

Perhaps a good way to view skepticism is the ability to be comfortable with uncertainty. A skeptic is a person who can look at something and neither take it at face value, nor wholly discard the experience and refuse to accept it.

I am not sure I believe in such a thing as "hard skepticism." Skepticism is by definition and necessity soft. It is gentle. It tenderly accepts what is shown to it and cradles it whole, declining to pass judgement one way or the other.

What is the difference between the decision making process of a "hard skeptic" who refuses to believe, and a "true believer" who refuses to doubt? Both have bricked off parts of their minds. Neither are comfortable with uncertainty. Neither can hold onto a thing with soft hands and say to it with love, "I'm uncertain about you."

So I remain unconvinced you are a skeptic.

But that's not the terrible and claustrophobic thing I came here to say.

Where does visualization end and spirit contact begin?

Visualization does not end. They are not opposite ends of a polar spectrum. Visualization, as in, "I can see pictures inside of my mind" is not requisite to spirit contact and spirit contact does not stem organically from visualization.

Visualization in and of itself is one way some people process ideas. I am a very visual thinker. But I've also got one of those voices in my head that constantly says words. So I'm not only a very visual thinker, but I'm a very auditory one too.

When I communicate with spirits, of course I "see" them and "hear" them.

That was already how my brain was processing things!

I suppose when someone has a thinking style where they are aware of things sans pictures or words, they just hold onto that knowledge, right, it's just there with them, we'd call that claircognizant.

But it's not as if such a person would set out to be claircognizant.

It's just that such a person already had a mind that holds information sans pictures or words, and when they also open themselves up to spirit contact, that's still how they process information.

Earlier in my life I had a very troubled relationship with my own emotions. And when I started really healing my relationship with my own emotions, so that I could begin to actually feel them, face them with confidence, and so on, can you guess what happened?

Why, yes - I suddenly began to receive emotional input from the spirit world as well. Did I suddenly gain some new psychic ability?

No. Feeling emotions is not requisite for spirit work. Visualization is not requisite for spirit work.

Being in tune with yourself is requisite for spirit work. Understanding the channels within your body and mind that receive information is requisite for spirit work. Working on yourself to the point where you are able to understand how sensory input arrives within you, how you process it, and how it personally affects you, are requisite for spirit work.

It is you, your body, emotions, and mind, which is your primary tool for spirit work. Now, you already know some things about yourself. You know you are a visual thinker and you know it is likely you'll receive spirit input as visual images. And you have something else very great as well: a failsafe. Yes, your hard skepticism - the moat and drawbridge that keeps you safe.

But that's not the terrible and claustrophobic thing I came here to say.

That terrible thing is: how fortunate for you that you are a hard skeptic. How lucky you are that there is some part of your mind which, at every opportunity, seeks to totally block out the reality of the spirit world around us.

Because it is everywhere.

No, not spirits - although there are a lot of them and in many more places than we'd suspect.

The spirit world. It's everywhere. We're in the middle of it, right now. We're swimming through it. We breathe it when we meditate. We eat it with our omelettes. We step on it when we walk to our cars.

The first thing every hopeful spirit worker wants? "How do I do it, how do I connect?"

The very second thing? "Sweet Jesus, how do I turn this off?"

There is no difference between being able to see spirits and being able to see the spirit world. There is no difference in talking to a spirit and talking to a spell.

It all starts to dissolve - all the lines between dead and alive, sentient and merely present, within and without. You break down one or two barriers and suddenly you're scrambling back onto dry land, searching for lines in the sand on your hands and knees.

So you see - skepticism is totally vital. There's hardly a better way to survive the process than to look these experiences dead in the eye and say, "I am completely uncertain about all of this."

But you've got to be uncertain about quite a lot of it before you can be certain about any of it, and if you're anything like me those islands of certainty will be few and far-between.

I do not mean you're lucky to have your hard skepticism because the things out there are evil, or scary, or anything like that.

I find most of them to be joyous, friendly, beautiful - nice stuff like that.

I just mean that it's A Lot.

And it's everywhere.

And once you learn how to tap into it, the real skill is turning it off.

And once you've learned to dwell in it, the first challenge is finding your own little island - things that you can experience which you are no longer skeptical about, but become sure of.

Well, that's a bit misleading. It's never things you become sure about. It's yourself. The island is what you feel you can accurately discern and come to strong educated guesses about which pan out correctly a majority of the time.

Maybe your ostensible spirit man could help you with that - if he makes the cut.

All those exercises, you know - this or that meditation, this or that visualization exercise - they're really more for getting to know yourself, more like platforms to launch yourself off of. Convenient runways to barrel down.

I suppose it doesn't matter how nice the runway is when you always get to the end and say, "no, this isn't working - this isn't real; I can't believe it's real." That's the drawbridge keeping you in your nice, safe castle.

But maybe I'm being too hard about the hard skepticism thing. I mean, if you're operating under the notion that there is some way knowing your thoughts translates into having a conversation, I can see where the disconnect comes from.

The manual release switch for the drawbridge exists elsewhere. It is not experiencing your castle which is your problem - it is letting the rest of the world in.

So invite yourself to experience.

Then turn around and give yourself a good, long look in the eye, take yourself gently by the shoulders, and say with love: "I am completely uncertain about all of this."

Discernment comes with experience. Telling thought from spirit comes with experience. We make mistakes. We make foolish mistakes. We make mistakes we will laugh about and we make mistakes that make our toes curl in rank shame.

Experience many things. Are you just sitting and meditating? Go talk to a tree. Build a shrine for your house spirits and talk to them. Talk to a god. Talk to an ancestor. Go out in the world and look at the spirits inside of people. Look at the spirits of highway intersections and old buildings. Look for the spirits inside your food, inside of old antiques, and inside of mass-produced garbage.

Look for spirits in corners and in the backs of dusty shelves. Look inside of churches and used car lots. Let uncertainty be your constant companion.

Give yourself permission.

Learn to turn it off again.

[2aceofspades]

Hi, I'm the anon who asked if you were okay with all of this chaos. I have many things to say!

First off, your many thank yous made me very very (two verys) happy. So thank YOU.

Second, you absolutely deserve all of the attention you're getting. You're seriously an incredible artist, and I love the fact that a lot of your art is on paper. I especially love how Donnie looks in your style (which is funny, because I remember you saying that you DIDN'T like it). Ahem. Getting off track a bit there. Anyways. You're an incredible artist, and all of the attention is well earned, AND it's okay to feel overwhelmed. I hope you know that we don't expect you to answer everything right away. You're popular, and lots of people are asking you to do things. You can choose to not do something, and you SHOULD. Do what inspires you, and we'll love it!

Third, and hopefully finally. I play with character AIs a lot, just to kind of see how characters would react to certain things. I AM an author, and I can imagine these things myself, but I like seeing it from external sources more. It almost seems more believable. When a human comes up with it, it just feels more raw and expressive. Or something. I have no clue what I'm saying; hopefully it's not too muddled. Then, when someone DRAWS it. It's a thousand times better. I just love it so much!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love how we can give you prompts and questions, and you'll go somewhere amazing with it. I loved the thing with Leo, Donnie, and the coffee. My thanks goes out to you and the asker. It's a huge gift to us when you respond. Literally, it's like a present, I love it.

So, just to clarify because I'm paranoid and words don't really work sometimes, are you okay with super random prompt-asks? Like earlier I saw a post where so-and-so asked so-and-so what the turtles night-time routines would be. Stuff like that?

Thank you so much for everything you do for us! You're amazing, and we all appreciate you.

OH.MI.GOSH??!!!?!

Wah-

Thank you so much!!! Gah- I hope I can articulate an even somewhat intelligent response to literally ALL of this. Okay!

|

First off, I see what you did there and I frickin’ loved it ohmigosh best response ever!! 🙌✨

Secondly, I really really appreciate all your kind words. You seriously had me smiling the whole way through oh stars you’re too kind 🥹 Also, I’m very glad there are some of y’all out there that like the way I draw Donnie…especially traditionally, cuz I won’t lie…I get a bit over-critical of how I draw him hehe. Glossing over that teehee~ But seriously, I also really appreciate your respect of my time cuz I feel much less pressured and more seen as just a lil human doing art things, so thank you! 🌟

And lastly, I totally understand ya and I couldn’t agree more. It’s honestly better when I see other artists capture emotions cuz I just eat that up aaughh yes!! Ahem..I just hope that I can capture at least some emotional accuracy in my art, especially considering how dialogue is not my strong suit by a long shot hehe…

Awwwee! Thank you so much!! It was really fun sketching a silly lil moment like that, so I couldn’t be more grateful for the idea that inspired me 🤗

And finally, that’s where it gets complicated cuz…it’s honestly just complicated for me and my lil gremlin brain. I really do enjoy answering lil prompts and putting my own spin on them, but I can’t make it like…an official thing…? If that makes any sense. Like, I think I’ve seen a few artists on Tumblr put out a post for prompt asks, but that idea, for me, makes me very nervous. I naturally try not to think too much while I draw, I just feel my emotions, really. I dunno…maybe that’s a lame excuse gah..- but, as it stands, for now, I’m ~okay~ with answering the occasional prompt ask, but I won’t be making a post about it or anything. I’m just a little um..paranoid..?..after the whole spontaneous sticker war thing heh…

One last big thank you to you, anon 🙌🙌 I seriously appreciate it so much 💙✨

[hollygl125]

On likes:

I’m not sure if anyone will read this—or care—but I really want you to know: I love your likes.

Recently I’ve seen some pretty out there (wild) takes on this subject, so I’ll say it again: I love your likes.

I’ve read at least one post (on a very large blog) going in the other direction, with someone saying they appreciate likes and reblogs equally. I appreciate the sentiment, but honestly it would be disingenuous for me to agree with that:

1. This is not a large blog, and reblogs do increase the chances of someone else seeing and appreciating something I’ve spent time making.

2. It is thrilling to know you like something I made enough that you want to put it up on your virtual wall.

3. Sometimes reblogs come with very kind comments or tags, and when someone takes the time to put words to their appreciation for something I’ve made . . . well, to me, that really is the best—that’s the MOST fun part about reblogs, to me.

(@figsr very frequently gives me kind comments in her reblogs, because she is very kind. I still remember @clintbeifong’s “you made WHAT” tag on my very favourite GIF-set I’ve ever made.)

(As an aside, I like it less when people slip in that they don’t ship my OTP. I am an adult—like, born in the ’80s—making GIF-sets and writing fan fiction (or any fiction) for the first time in my life because I fell down such a rabbit hole for these characters, and I am literally the only one guaranteed to read your tags. So it’s so unnecessary!)

But I will say it again for those in the back: I love your likes.

I love knowing that you saw and appreciated something I’ve made! I will admit that I personally am a bit of a reblog slut. When I joined this site in December 2021 (yes, just for these two lovely science nerds!), I was as chock full of anxiety as one could be; I did not want to make any mark here. All I did was like things to keep track of them. Then I liked a bunch of stuff (because I liked a bunch of stuff!) and got blocked by an account by which I had not wanted to be blocked, presumably because my blog was empty and (especially given the format of my username) I looked like a bot.

So I reblogged a few of my very favourite things (so I would look like an actual human being!), and then it was just an incredibly slippery slope to where before long I was reblogging basically anything I could scrounge up that was GSR-related. Seriously, if you were one of the half dozen or so people following me two years ago this time, you will probably know that a lot of that stuff was not of the highest quality by recent standards, and I reblogged a lot of it (and still have a bunch of it waiting in my paused queue, to be honest).

But I know that’s not how everyone engages. I know some people reblog only their very, very favourite things—or nothing at all. And so I want to tell you again: I love your likes.

If you frequently “like” (my) creations for Sara Sidle + Gil Grissom (or William Petersen), regardless of whether I have followed you back (sorry—honestly tell me if you want and I will happily follow back!), I almost certainly recognize your username, and I am always super, super happy to see you in my notifications.

So . . . yes, in conclusion, and for the sake of clarity: I love your likes. 💛💛💛

[vianwrites]

Okay, so for some weird reason, Tumblr isn't letting my replies stick. So, I'm so sorry to the people who replied to my post about Fanfic commenting. I'm not sure why the replies are not sticking, but I've already sent a support ticket about this issue. Just know that I've read them and I'll just post my replies here for the meantime... @nic-stars It really is heartbreaking. I remember getting replies that even theorizes what would happen next in my stories. Those were really interesting and fun. There were even really great constructive criticism ones that helped me grow as a writer and ones where you can feel connected with the reader and really being part of an incredible fandom. @aconstructofamind I feel fortunate that I haven't gotten a mean comment since returning. I'm all for criticisms as long as they are helpful, constructive, and worded in a way that doesn't demean or belittle anyone. It's really disheartening if meanness is now the norm, even when it comes to comments in fanfiction (or any fanwork). Also, I LOVE your handle. :D @pippinoftheshire Your handle made me smile, haha, thank you for that. Anyways, this should really be something brought back, and not because like we're starved for it (but, yeah, we are. a bit. haha), but also because it's a way for us to connect with our readers, too. Like, tell us how you feel (but in a way that doesn't demean or belittle what we made and poured our hearts out, please); tell us if we wrote something wrong and how can we make it better; tell us why you hated what this character did in the story or why you agree with their actions. Connect with us. We are part of the same community. @typicxlcato Don't be scared to be the first! Comments are always appreciated by authors. Even just a single phrase or just giving a quote that you loved from the story and telling the author you loved that? That can make anyone's day. :) @amliza By all means, haha. I'm currently on a commenting spree as well on all the fanfic's I'm currently reading. :D @she-elf4 The thing about an author/writer answering their own posited question of whether what they/we wrote or not is good is that we (often) are biased about it. That's why we need comments to tell us in what area we needed improving or if we did well. It's the same reason why book reviews exist. It's not just to tell others of why a book is good or bad, but to give an author a sense of what they need to improve on. I've never heard of commenting rules before, so that's a bit shocking for me. The only rule I adhere to when writing comments/reviews it to be kind and if I want to criticize an author for something, to do so in a constructive, respecting manner because I have to remind myself (and know from my own experience) that whoever wrote what I was reading poured enough of their time and talent (and maybe even a bit of their heart and soul) into that work. Honestly, though, I am curious about what these rules you speak of are.

@13flags Who ever said I (or anyone who agreed with this post) am/are only writing for reviews? I don't know where you got that from? Haha. The post I made pointed out that the reason I would love to get a review is for feedback, to grow as an author. If you write with only your own lens to view your own writing with no one to critique or comment on it, how will you know you are doing well? The reviews/comments I had the honor of getting from my own fics were kind enough to provide constructive criticisms, which is always good for an author. Also, it's nice to get validation for your writing, even if your objective is to share your stories to the world. Comments/Reviews are like symbolic to some (maybe most?) writers that they had been heard and can even be bridges for found friendships (as is the case with me. I made good friends from them). So, it's really nice.

[porcelainmortal]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for the tags, @firenati0n and @myheartalivewrites!

How many works do you have on ao3?

Nine

What's your total ao3 word count?

72,997

What fandoms do you write for?

Red White & Royal Blue ❤️🤍💙

Top five fics by kudos:

it happened on a lake

handy for a handyman

a brit in brooklyn

when the curtains call the time

falling in a 5+1

The way that my handyman!alex series tapers off in kudos highlights how many people read the first part but have yet to read the rest!!

Do you respond to comments?

Yes, I try to respond to all of them! I appreciate that people took the time to comment, so I like to take the time to let them know it.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None, happy endings only for my boys. 😁 Technically, being enough ends on a bit of an angsty note, but it's just a short snapshot of a moment in their lives, so it's not really the end of the story.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all have happy endings, but it happened on a lake looks into the future, so we get to see where they will end up. (Also there may be another chapter coming of this but shhh you didn't hear that from me.)

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I did get one comment on my angsty multi-chap that said Henry was pathetic. I thought that was mean, he's just Henry going through a hard time. And one comment on another fic that pointed out an editing mistake (which I appreciated) but then didn't comment on the fic at all. Like... is that all you took away from this? 😢

Do you write smut?

Yes. I sure do. 😆

Craziest crossover:

It's not technically a crossover, but it's also not *not* a crossover; the song of alex & henry has FirstPrince discussing The Song of Achilles and the similarities between them.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not yet. But I'd be open to it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I don't know how good I'd be at that. But it happened on a lake exists entirely because of @rmd-writes.

All time favorite ship?

Alex & Henry, hands down.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't know if I could completely abandon a WIP. I have some fic ideas that I have written a couple of paragraphs for that might not get fully written, but I don't consider those to be WIPs. They are really just slightly fleshed-out ideas.

What are your writing strengths?

I have surprised myself with my ability to write sexy, flirty banter. I think I learned from reading all the best fic writer over and over again. When I am writing Alex and Henry, it just flows so easily. I feel like conversation in general is fairly easy to write; sometimes I have to force myself to add in some exposition.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not good at world-building. I don't have a ton of patience for setting a scene or explaining things. I want to get better at those things, so I was thinking of challenging myself to write a fantasy au or a historical au. I'm just so afraid of getting the details wrong. As a perfectionist, it can be hard to work past those things that make me uncomfortable.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I love to read it - and thank goodness for Google Translate - but I haven't written any because I don't speak any other languages besides English. I am learning French so I might throw some of that in eventually, but if any native Spanish speakers want to offer their services so I can throw some of that in for Alex, please let me know!

First fandom you wrote in?

Twilight, when I was 21. Don't judge me. 😅

Favorite fic you've written?

Ah, I don't know! They all have such a special place in my heart. But honestly, my handyman!alex series has been incredibly gratifying. Not just writing it, but the comments that I've gotten on it.

That said, the Big Sad fic that is still a WIP is going to be something special, I think.

No-pressure tags for @cha-melodius @iboatedhere @orchidscript @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise

And whoever else wants to play!

[eusuntgratie]

8, 12, 16, 23 👀👀💚

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

i have some...complicated feelings about buck and chris's relationship and how that's portrayed/talked about especially in how it reflects on eddie. i say shit like THATS HIS DAD and THEYVE BEEN COPARENTING FOR YEARS because they HAVE and i think in a lot of ways buck loves chris like he's his and chris CLEARLY sees buck as a parental figure and eddie REPEATEDLY and PURPOSEFULLY puts buck in that role and is comfortable with him in that role.

where i get the ick is when that's pushed into this idea that chris needs buck, that eddie needs buck, in order for their family to be complete. and i don't know that i can articulate this well bc eddie does need buck, and chris needs buck too. but i also think it is so so important to recognize that eddie is a great father (despite a rough start) and that they were (and would continue to be) just fine without him.

i've even struggled with how i've written this relationship in fic, because it can be a tough line to toe.

i suspect that fandom subconciously leans in to this idea that buck can swoop in and save eddie and chris in large part because buck is white and eddie isn't. and i know that i'm icked by it more because of that.

and this is probably related, but i don't think chris would ever start calling buck anything but buck. the idea that a kid needs to call someone dad/mom/whatever for them to be "important" is bullshit. my best friend and i's kids call us by our first names but they also refer to us as their 'other mom'. i've always called my stepdad by the nickname everyone else calls him. buck has been in chris's life a long time; i don't think he's gonna start calling him something different if they finally get together and/or get married.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

taylor and shannon and lucy on 911. fandom loves to hate any woman that's even vaguely connected to one of the boys. i like taylor because she's interesting, and i appreciate seeing a woman who puts herself and her career first. we see men do that all the time. i don't hate taylor for being selfish. i don't want her with buck, but i think their relationship was SO interesting and was important for buck figuring out what he wants.

i LOVE shannon and i have loved shannon from the beginning. people love to hate her and say she's a terrible mother for abandoning her child. but she was a young woman in an impossible position who had NO help from her partner for YEARS. she tried to do what she thought was best for her son, her mother, and herself. eddie wouldn't GIVE her that space so she TOOK it. and good for her, honestly. did it hurt chris that she left? absolutely. would people judge a father as harshly for doing EXACTLY the same thing? absolutely not. shannon loved her kid, she tried to do her best, but she was pushed well past her breaking point (which eddie is largely to blame for - yes i can love my blorbos and admit they have flaws GASP) and everyone had to deal with the fallout.

lucy is hot and badass and interesting and if you watch her kiss with buck and think anything other than 'fuck, that's hot' then we will simply never agree and i'm not going to argue with you. get off her ass, she's incredible and i want her back.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

miscommunication based pining. i can do it for a little bit, but my nightmare is a 100k+ fic rated t tagged slow burn and mutual pining. JUST OPEN YOUR DAMN MOUTH! AAAAAAHHHHHH!! i can do SOME pining bc yearning can be really delicious but when the whole reason 2 people are pining for seven billion words is because nobody will just TALK it makes me insane.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

oooh this is tricky bc i am a multishipper to my CORE i want everybody fuckin everybody and falling in love all over the place give it to meeeeee. i feel like the only ship i've ever really been AGAINST is thorki, and that's largely bc of people arguing that it doesn't "count" as incest bc loki was adopted, which pisses me the fuck off. the actual ship i don't really have beef with and i'm sure i would read a fic if someone sent it to me and it was good. idk. it takes a lot for me to be like, ew, absolutely not.

(obligatory disclaimer that you're allowed to like shit i don't like. i'm not telling you your opinion sucks, i'm telling you what i think <3)

fandom violence asks <3

[book-place]

Oh. My. Goodness.

I started this blog less than a year ago with hopes of just posting a couple of the thoughts going on in my head and maybe having one or two people like what I’m doing…

But I just hit 1K followers and I am quite honestly beside myself, how did this happen? When did this happen? When did this go from me crying tears of joy over having 10 followers to sobbing my eyes out over having 1000 of you follow and like my work?

When I tell you that I can not thank any of you enough for this- like I am for real at a loss for words, I don’t even know how to express how much you all mean to me

Thank you, thank you, thank you

With that being said, I decided that in honor of this happening, I want to specifically thank those that made this possible (though there are so many more of you) with a MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST as my celebration

This is all done in no particular order, I just want you all to know how much I appreciate you and everything each and every one of you has done for me

@your-local-questioning-agender oh gosh, where to begin. You were my first ever mutual and first person to ever reach out to me on this app. You have quite honestly been there for me through EVERYTHING that has gone on in my life and I would not be where I am today without you. I love you so, so, so much and I pray that you never change because you are absolutely perfect the way you are

@foggy-isnt-here axl, my axl. I love you more than life itself. You are the sweetest, kindest, most caring and hilarious person ever. You are always there to make me laugh and cheer me up after a bad day. You make sure that I’m taking care of myself (and not to mention you gave me the coolest nickname I’ve ever received!!). What would I do without you?

@popfishjr your art honestly always makes me so happy. I light up whenever I see that you’ve posted and then am just in awe over whatever you made. I can barely draw stick figures and you’re over here making freaking masterpieces. I love our little chats and hope we never stop

@creative-girl omg I absolutely love how we’ve bonded over different fandoms (mostly marvel) we always have really good conversations about them and I look forward to more :)

@azurethevampire we interact within reblogs and I absolutely love it

@bringinsexybackk69 bubs, bubs, bubs, I love you so, so much and I honestly don’t know what I would do without you. You are an incredibly talented writer and a wonderful friend, thank you so much for being there for me whenever I needed it and I adore you so much

@its-hell our interactions consist mainly in reblogs and I love it because it’s just so much fun :D

@panic-in-the-multiverse When I say that I absolutely adore your work, it is utterly incredible and I hope you keep up the amazing work that you’re doing

@redlotus98 dc? dc. You’re blog honestly brings me so much happiness when it comes to that fandom and I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love it all

@ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression we don’t talk very often, but I get this feeling that we always have each others backs. You were one of my first mutuals and when we do talk, I completely love it

@trashmouthsahra we don’t talk, but I hope you’re doing good and everything is going well for you :)

@xennityxen you always reblog people’s works by saying the nicest things ever and it’s honestly so refreshing when I watch as you take someone’s work make them so happy with your kind words because I know that is exactly what happens and I hope you know that too

@daughterofthequeen you’ve been my mutual for a while and you’ve been so supportive and I just want to tell you that you’re an amazing writer and I hope you keep it up! I absolutely love how we bonded over Moon Knight and just ended up as mutuals that way

@betzabobababi you have no idea how much I appreciate you. What you have done for me with your YouTube video was honestly life changing and one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And not just that, but you’re such a sweet person and I love it so much

@night3owl ugh I love your Star Wars fics so much and I love that we both love that fandom because I feel like there aren’t enough fans in it anymore. You have shown me so much support with everything I’ve done and I honestly can’t thank you enough for it

@see-the-apple we bonded over Star Wars and the rest was history… I absolutely love it

@roseblue373 SUPERNATURAL FANS!!! You not only have supported me so much with my spn fics, but you are always rebloging other spn fics on your blog and I love how much you support everyone else in this fandom. All of us, with our spn loving hearts

@kiyomi-uchiha777 you threatened to wage war against anybody that ever said anything bad about my work and it made me cry because it was honestly the sweetest thing ever

@catshrom when I say your asks make my day, everyday, I mean it. They always make me laugh (and on the rare occasion cry) and I always light up when I get a notification saying that you sent me an ask because I know I will have so much fun reading and answering it

@i-writes-things at first I hadn’t even realized that we were mutuals, I followed you because I absolutely adore your work, but I think it’s so freaking cool that ended up following each other and I hope you keep up the amazing writing

@angelic-simp you are one of the kindest people I know. You are always checking up on me and making sure I eat, rest, and drink water. It is so refreshing to have a mutual like you because you have no idea how much it means to me to have someone check up on me in that way almost everyday without fail. Thank you, thank you so much

Was this dramatic and slightly cringey? Yes. Did I cry my eyes out? Also yes

Thank you all so much again and I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I love each and every one of you dearly <333333333

[writebackatya]

My favorite fic of yours

Toss-up between 'Indi-Quack!' and 'Home For the Holidays!' I don't normally read stories where each chapter are one-shots focused on different characters and scenarios, but I absolutely love yours! You are fantastic at keeping everyone totally in character, while bringing your own extra brand of chaos (including in dialogue/interactions and scenarios, such as characters like Della and Gandra smoking weed) into it that still feels totally natural! And I love how you make certain characters who share parallels interact and and share scenarios (one of my favorite things about DT is looking at all the parallels between certain characters and thinking how interesting they would've interacted on the show; with such a large cast, especially by the end of the show, it's not hard to find similarities between certain characters; and I love that you enjoy thinking about that too).

The best character you've written for

Both Della and Gandra! :D Both individually and when they interact!

The best ship you've written for

Fendra! I may be much more of fenro shipper, but I love how you write their relationship! You really make their different personalities nicely contrast and bring out the best in each other.

My favorite chapter in my favorite fic of yours

Ooooh, that would be 'What'd I Miss?!" in Indi-Quack! Della and Gandra's chemistry is just... I have no words. Sheer perfection. They are a joy to read interacting, and I wish more people would write them as friends. So much incredible potential. And I loved Gandra and Gyro kinda getting along, and Gandra giving her the benefit of the doubt in leaving her in charge of the lab- even if that was mostly for Fenton's sake, which is really nice in itself (I'm sure Gandra must have appreciated that he was willing to give her a chance in trusting her, especially since the last time she was there she knocked him out and teamed up with Beaks to break into his lab- and hell, both she and Beaks could have used that opportunity to steal his plans and prototypes if they wanted to- which resulted in his lab being utterly destroyed), and Gandra apologizing for everything (even if that was partially the weed making it easier). And I enjoyed Gandra apologizing to Della about her role against her family in F.O.W.L., even tho she wasn't trying to hurt them.

Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics

Fenton FREAKING THE FUCK OUT when he took weed without realizing it; it was so in character, and I laugh just thinking about it! :D

Wow, Shy thanks!

To this day I am still in disbelief how well both Indi-Quack! and Home for the Holidays! did when they were first released! I love writing for those two and cannot wait to continue writing for them when I get my groove back!

And I know say this a lot, but keeping characters in character is very important to me because I feel like a lot of these stories would be nowhere near as good if they weren’t

Something that I always hate (in general, not just fanfiction) is whenever a character in a story gets drunk or high and acts nothing like themselves but instead act like a generic drunk or stoned person. Because when you do get in that state, you don’t turn into a new person. Your guard is down and a filter is turned off. What I’m saying is, be wary of the people who ever use the excuse “That wasn’t me, I was drunk/stoned” because they’re hiding something or ignoring a part of themselves

Anyway, yeah I love those two anthology stories cause it just gives me an excuse to come up with different stories relating to a topic for these birds interact with one another. I like to think of Indi-Quack! and Home for the Holidays! as two sides of the same coin

And I love writing for Della and Gandra! They’re both chaotic in their own way and there’s no way they wouldn’t get along! I hope to see more people write and possibly draw stuff with those two together. They’re great characters

Honestly seeing that the biggest supporter of Fenro say they love how I write Fendra is quite possibly the best shipping related compliment I’ve ever gotten

And yeah, What’d I Miss?! is a story that took me longer and even came out a little longer than I expected but I’m really happy with the results! And honestly, Gyro trusting Gandra more than Della to take care of the lab just makes total sense to me mainly because Gandra has a little more at stake there compared to Della. Glad you loved that chapter! I loved writing all the different dynamics for that one and LP’s cameo at the end

And oh my god, Fenton’s freak out was a lot of fun to write and something I can see clearly in my head. I’m happy left an impression on you!

[gyu-dloml]

To Jihoonie, my bestest boy :"

Lee Jihoon. Feels very personal to say it. But my precious baby Wooza, you're so incredible. Composing, producing and writing the lyrics to every masterpiece in Seventeens discography (and more). Are you even human? I'd very much appreciate it if you were to give me even a drop of talent from that big bucket of yours. But talent only takes you so far, Lee Jihoon you are extremely hard working too.

Carrying all that responsibility on your back ever since svt was created. I can't even imagine how much pressure you must be feeling, but you handled it like a champ and look where you guys are now! You deserve every ounce of happiness that you get and so much more my bubs.

My biggest thank you goes to you. Because you're the one who created all the songs that I can sing along to, dance to and also cry to. While svt has been the constant source of my comfort for so long now with GoSe but of course the major credits go to your guy's music. With listening to Rock With You then playing it on repeat for god knows how many days, I also listened to many of your other songs. And I knew I was long gone when I started crying while listening to Smile Flower, Thanks, Us Again, Circles and so many more. I'm happy because of what you do Woozi, and I have no idea how many 'thank you's or how much love it takes to tell you how grateful I am. I just wish that somehow, it'll get across.

Thank you for telling us that you guys love and care for us as much as we do and for so many nice things you say regarding us. Just take my fucking thank you please Jihoon :' I'm so happy that I found you guys on my loneliest times and you all made it so bright.

I hope you get 100 times as much happiness that you've given me. I could start talking about how ripped you are and that Svt called you the hulk but that would just ruin the sentimental vibes here, right? (not that I already did it)

Just like always, take care my lovely Woozirongi, don't forget to rest.

With my warmest hug (even if you reject),

Tia :")

I kind of wrote for all of Svt in between but like I couldn't help it. Wooza is very near and dear to my heart and just so so precious. I really hope all of our love (us carats who might never see them :')) reaches them safely and that they feel the warmth they've provided us tenfolds.

Also this seems like a perfect time to remind idk who, that my love is very much admirational (did I just create a word?) and that I just feel so grateful to them because honestly, the last year and more has been bearable only because of them. There was a time when I moved and would only talk to my mom everyday and those are the times when Seventeen made me happy and it just meant a lot to me.

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

Hello! I'm sorry if this is a nuisance or irritating in any way, but I just had to say it: YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CREATIVE GENIUS AND I LOVE EVERY THOUGHT THAT COMES OUT OF YOU BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL FANTASTIC. Just. All of it!!! I haven't been able to read 100% of your fics yet, but, come on. "Pick A Side" is something I read and reread SEVERAL times when taking my philosophy class, and it made me more inspired to keep going, even though that topic causes me a lot of anxiety (1/7)

I was ecstatic when reading ALL of “Eucatastrophe” because it gives a lot of thought to each and every character, and the way you build suspense!!! Man. I adore fae stories and I was on the edge of my seat trying to figure out what everyone was going to do. And the way you incorporated the mirror thing!!! And all of the other fae-kind of characters!! There’s something supernatural about your stories because I started reading this one, like, the day after I first learned about the Erlking.

And then there’s “melliferous”. Just. I’ve learned SO MANY cool words from you and your writing. But the creeping uncanny descriptions and horror/tragedy elements were superb! I hate those things most of the time, but beyond the fact that my brain was like “Let’s ignore the “Major Character Death” warning for once, because this is promising bees AND Greek mythology”, the storytelling was incredible!!

Okay, last story I’m going to gush over, but eventually I wound up exploring your Tumblr, and as soon as my brain hit the word “dinosaurs” I was like: “I. HAVE. To read this.” And it did not disappoint!!! Goodness. All of your ideas are so clever!! And then I saw your art and analysis posts and my jaw dropped. How can one person be this talented???

(By the way, your post about 16th century Italian theater blew my mind. Because I had no clue about the historical art form!!! I have monologued to myself dozens of times on the dissection of what makes the Sides so relatable, and how it’s because they’re almost purely archetypes!! Everyone can connect to whomever they want and write them in a way that’s meaningful to them and it works!!

Oh my word, that post filled me with so much emotion I couldn’t look at your stuff for months because my brain was consumed with it.) Okay. Now that that’s all out. I’m sorry for raving like a lunatic in your Ask Box. I just wanted to let you know how important your work is to me, and how much you are appreciated. Because you are very much appreciated and valued. Even if you never posted again, even if I never read your fics or looked at your blog again, I would think about you because I now know you exist, and you’ve impacted my life. And I am grateful that you exist. Thank you for being so amazing and for having the courage and generosity to share it on the internet for people like me. (And thank you for putting up with ridiculously long messages being thrown at you) I hope you have a good day :)

No need to apologize for gushing! Seeing seven asks in my inbox this morning made me go 'oh, I finally got cancelled, huh', so the fact that it was just one enthusiastic person was a COMPLETE delight, you made me smile so ridiculously widely! I am so glad you're enjoying my fics this much, and that I could make you Feel Things and Think About Things and Learn Things (because honestly, that's all I've ever wanted to do). I don't plan on stopping for a good while yet - I've got too many stories in my head and they all want to come out.

I sincerely hope you have the most wonderful of days. I love you.