#and bc he always fixes everything asks ‘where’s Sebastian?’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

duuhrayliegh · 3 years

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diner girl

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

summary: reader is a waitress at a late night diner and meets an interesting new customer

warnings: fluffy beginning, language, annoying coworkers, soft!seb (a lil bit), SMUT AT THE END, a lil bit of dom!seb, fingering, vaginal penetration, PROTECTED SEX (wrap it b4 u tap it), google translate romanian (if it’s wrong and you know the correct way to put it, pls tell me, i’ll fix it pronto), lil bit of aftercare, fluffy ending.

a/n: this is my first time writing smut, so be gentle but i do take constructive criticism v well, so if you’ve got it to offer, pls give it. i’ve been in a slump recently bc of classes, i’m abt to start my summer classes and job, so this is going to be tricky but i’ve got y’all covered loves <3

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open

xoxo ray

ray’s m.list

Honestly, it looked like something out of one of those ridiculous teen Netflix movies that Anthony was always forcing Sebastian to watch. The neon signs outside flickered from age, only partially illuminating the street below. All Sebastian was really searching for right now was a distraction. Really it seemed like that was all he was ever doing anymore. He could tell his anxiety was getting worse. He was sleeping less and less, the circles under his eyes were getting darker and darker. He just hoped his fans couldn’t tell, not wanting to deal with another lecture from his manager about it.

Sebastian wore a leather jacket over a zip-up hoodie because it was just starting to get into the colder months in New York. His hand reached out to pull the door of the diner open. The smell of grease immediately attached itself to his body and he could tell that it wasn’t going to leave him even after he left his most recent distraction.

“Hey, hun! Just grab a table wherever you want, I’ll be with ya in a jiff, kay?” A feminine voice floated into Sebastian’s ears, but he was unable to tell where it originated from. He shook his head, turning to his left and taking a seat in one of the booths there. The teal fabric of the seat was only slightly sticky so Sebastian just shrugged it off. He looked around the table for a menu, finding it tucked in between the ketchup and mustard bottles pressed against the wall.

He wasn’t really in the mood to eat anything, he really just needed to get out of his apartment and away from everything. He heard footsteps approaching from behind him, and he turned to look at the owner of the steps. A woman wearing a dress that matched the seat covers came up to his table, stopping beside him. She huffed out a breath before taking the seat opposite in the booth.

“Alright, hun.” She pulled out her notepad, placing it on the table in front of her. “Whatcha want tonight?” He didn’t answer for a short while, just taking in the woman opposite him. The woman’s brows rose and a concerned look crossed her face. “Are you alright, sir?” Sebastian snapped out of whatever trance he was in, nodding quickly.

“Oh, um, yeah, I- god I’m sorry. I just, I don’t know.” He gripped the menu in his hand tighter as he spoke, his anxiety getting the better of him. What if you recognize him? What if someone else does and somehow notifies the paparazzi.

“You’re perfectly fine, sweetheart! What can I get ya to drink?” Your cheery tone had returned, along with a thickening accent that Sebastian couldn’t quite place.

“Um, just a water for right now.” You nodded, hauling yourself to your feet with a groan. He watched as you walked away. He could tell your feet hurt by the way you stepped, making him wonder how long you had been working. You were gone for a few more minutes before returning with two glasses in your hands. You put one down in front of him before taking your seat across from him again. You drank almost half of your glass before addressing him again.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” Sebastian asked cautiously, you dropped your glass back on the table.

“Oh yeah. Sorry, this is just the first, like, lull that we’ve had of the day, so I’m taking advantage of it.” Your eyes darted around the table. “I can go if I’m freaking you out or if you’re waiting on someone else. You just looked like you could use the company as much as I could use a break so I figured, ‘why not kill two birds with one stone,’ ya know?” The words seemed to have left your mouth before you could stop them. Your lips rolled inward after you rambled, an apologetic look covering your features.

“I so totally didn’t mean for that to sound like I thought you were pathetic or anything. I don’t think that.” Your accent dropped again, which confused him.

“You’re fine, I didn’t think you did.” His reply was short, but he hoped you didn’t take it the wrong way. “I actually don’t know what I want, so what do you recommend?” Your smile widened, as you began listing things off the menu that were your favorite. Sebastian knew he was supposed to be on a diet for his next project, but one cheat day wouldn’t hurt.

He ended up ordering a plate of flapjacks, as they were listed on your menu, and two scrambled eggs and hashbrowns as a side. Before you left the table, you asked if it was okay with him if you ordered some food and ate with him. Sebastian nodded with a smile as you walked away. You came back a few minutes later with a different pair of shoes on your feet and a pitcher of water. You must’ve noticed Sebastian’s stare on your new shoes because you felt the need to justify the switch.

“Look, I’ve been in those shitty ass non-slip shoes for almost eight hours now, I’m allowed to change them if I want, strange man whose name I do not know.” You giggled to yourself as you refilled your glass of water. Sebastian raised his hands in surrender.

“I totally get it.” His eyes roamed over the parts of you that he could see, not finding a name tag anywhere. “What’s your name?” He picked up his water to drink after he asked. You made a face at him, before tapping above your heart. His brows raised as he placed his glass back on the table. “Yeah, there’s nothing there. So, what’s your name?” Your head dropped to look at your uniform and true to his word, there was nothing there.

“Well, shit.” You stuck your hand out over the table for him to shake. “I’m Y/N, but my friends call me Y/N/N. Pleased to meet you,” You paused waiting for Sebastian to fill in his own name.

“Sebastian, but my friends call me Seb.” He wondered why you were asking his name. He wasn’t vain or anything, but he thought he was pretty popular after being in the Marvel movies and all.

“Pleased to meet you, Bastian.” He made a face at you. You weren’t phased by his facial expression, as you explained yourself.

“What the fuck is a Bastian?” You giggled while taking a drink.

“You’re a Bastian. You said your friends called you Seb, but I’m not your friend, least not yet anyway. So, I’m gonna call you Bastian for the time being.” You plastered a smile on your face after finishing your sentence. Sebastian went to say something else when he was interrupted by the sound of a bell dinging. “Oop, that’s our food.” You walked off quickly, your steps much more comfortable in your new shoes which made Sebastian happy for some reason. As you made your way back to Sebastian, he could hear you humming to yourself happily, seeming perfectly content.

“Here’s yours, Bastian. And here’s mine. Come to mama!” You plopped down in the booth and Sebastian laughed. He took a second to look around the diner, there wasn’t anyone else inside except for you and him and he assumed the cook who hadn’t bothered to come out of the kitchen. The two of you began eating in a comfortable silence, which surprised Sebastian. It wasn’t often that he was this relaxed when meeting a new person. It was easy for him at conventions because he was only going to have to interact with his fans one-on-one for a short period of time, but this was different.

“So what brings you out this late, Bastian?” You kept saying that horrible nickname that you coined for him, making him shake his head.

“Just needed to get out of my own head, ya know?” He took a bite of his eggs, “Figured a walk around the city would do me some good.” He watched as you nodded while chowing down on a plate of fries. “What about you? Why are you working so late?” You sighed grabbing your glass.

“Oh, I actually wasn’t supposed to, but Stephanie really needed to go home. She’s pregnant, so it was a no brainer to let her go home and rest.” You turned to point into the kitchen. “George is actually her husband and the owner here.” You grabbed a few more fries before mumbling, “Plus, Joanie didn’t come in for her shift again, so I’m covering for her yet again.” Sebastian could tell you weren’t a fan of this Joanie person. You looked up from the table into Sebastian’s eyes. If you had recognized him you weren’t letting it show.

“Has it at least been an easy shift?” Sebastian wanted to keep the conversation on you, simply because he was interested in what you had to say. You hummed as Sebastian continued eating.

“It’s been normal, I guess? This isn’t my usual shift, so I haven’t had any of my regulars have come in which is annoying. I have gotten all of Joanie’s regulars and I don’t know what kind of catnip she’s putting in the food to give to these men, but they are all kinds of gross.” Anger bubbled in Sebastian’s chest which he immediately questioned. He just met you, but then again he was a good fuckign human who knew that women deserved to be respected.

“The men are gross? How do you mean?” Sebastian didn’t really want the answer, but he had to ask. Your brows raised and you made a face.

“I mean, you know how men are. They’re pigs, no offense to you because you seem normal.” Sebastian laughed, holding his hand up as he chewed, signalling that no offense was taken. “Thankfully, I can handle my own and George is pretty intimidating, so they scamper off pretty quickly after being told no.” That made Sebastian relax back into his seat.

“Well, that’s good, right? I honestly don’t know.” Sebastian watched as you pushed your plate away from you, bringing your knee up to your chest, resting your chin on it.

“It’s not too bad though. I made good money today.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Like long term? Or just today?” Sebastian laughed.

“Either.”

“Well, I’ve been working here since my junior year of college which was about three years ago. I’m working to pay for my master’s. And I’ve been here since five.” Sebastian’s eyes bulged, darting down to his watch.

“It’s two in the morning, Y/N.” You shrugged.

“I told you Joanie didn’t come in, she was supposed to relieve me at eleven!” A loud squeak emitted from the door causing your head to jerk to the new arrival.

“I’ll be right with ya, hun! Take a seat wherever!” Your voice settled back into your accent. You turned back to Sebastian. “Sorry, Bastian. Duty calls, I’ve gotta go.” You stood from the booth, taking your plate and glass. “Also, your meal is on the house.” You winked at him, walking away before he could protest your generosity.

He could hear your accented voice float through the nearly empty diner, enjoying the little lifts and drawls of it. Sebastian watched as you conversed with the other table, a group of high school kids it seemed. He stood from his table when you went to the back, dropping a twenty on the table. He’ll be damned if he was going to let you go away without compensation. When he got back to his apartment, he had no issue falling asleep, something that he felt he had you to thank for.

*****************************

Today had been a long ass day for you. Your classes this morning started at eight sharp, which you missed because you overslept. Then your professor wouldn’t allow you to come into class late, citing his stupid syllabus with his classroom rules. The only saving grace for that fiasco was that your friend texted you her notes after class. When you went to the commons to get a coffee before your next class, you promptly spilled all over your textbook and when you checked the clock it was only ten-thirty.

You could afford to blow off your classes for the rest of the day, so you did. It was just easier to let yourself go home and catch up on sleep than it was to force yourself through those courses. You couldn’t afford to blow off work tonight though. Tonight though, you were going to be catching up on all your missing assignments from the classes you skipped. You invited the stress but you knew that in the end, it was most likely for the better. You got to the diner before your shift started, settling in one of the corner booths with a chocolate milkshake and your laptop. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Stephanie hovering.

“You good, Steph?” Stephanie made a noise and you furrowed your brows as she stumbled with her words.

“I mean-- Like, no-- I just-- Why are you doing school work in my booths?” You sighed heavily and she began apologizing. “You totally don’t have to tell me, really it’s none of my business anyway.”

“Steph, you’re fine. I just had a really bad day today, so I skipped my classes to catch up on sleep so I’m doing my missed work.” Stephanie nodded at you, placing her hand on her stomach.

“Okay, good. Just checkin’, ya know? Cause ya never know what somebody’s doin’.” She started walking off but stopped suddenly. “You’re doing okay, right Y/N?” You smiled at her mother level instincts.

“Yeah, I’m okay Steph, I swear. Just a little stressed lately with everything going on.” You turned your attention back to your laptop. You were supposed to be writing an essay over the importance of political correctness in the media, but instead your blinking cursor was mocking you. It was about an hour and a half later when you had to start your shift, begrudgingly putting your laptop in your bag. You definitely didn’t get as much done as you wanted, but you did get almost half of your essay done, so that’s nice. What isn’t nice is that you’re actually working with Joanie tonight.

She may as well have not been there. For four hours, Joanie stood at the countertop, flirting with some greasy sleazebag. You huffed every time you went into the kitchen to get food for your tables. It had gotten dark long ago, but the diner hadn’t gotten any slower since around seven. You didn’t care though because you were making incredible money today. People were feeling really generous for some reason, not that you were going to argue with it. Joanie, of course, was still working the countertop of disgusting men. You had to give it to her, she was fucking persistent, but she was also so unhelpful.

You were currently serving a table of high school it kids, which was just so fun for you. This is where your night started to go to shit. First off, they all ordered plates of fries, which is just, okay, whatever. Then they complained about everything. ‘Your ketchup tastes funky,’ or ‘my fries aren’t crispy enough.’ Or it was something like, ‘are you sure you gave me two melted ice cubes and not three because it takes like you gave me three.’ And you were able to handle all those issues for them, remaining civil and pleasant.

You could feel that something was going to go wrong, you were just waiting for it, and this was it. They ate their whole meal and you had just dropped off their check, walking away from the table when you heard three finger snaps directed towards you. Your jaw clenched, you were usually really really fucking good at holding your tongue, but not at this point in time. You could feel your stress level start to rise along with your anger.

“Is there something else that I can get ya?” Your accent was getting thicker the angrier you became. The brunette teen on the end of the booth glared at you, holding her cup.

“Yeah, I didn’t order a lemon in my water.” You felt your brows raise, okay maybe this wasn’t going to be the disaster you thought it was going to be. “And now my experience here has been ruined.” The brunette stood beside you, dumping the glass of water down the front of your uniform. Your jaw dropped as she shook the glass to get all the water out. “That’s for being a shitty waitress.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder, forcing past you. “Let’s go guys. I’m not even willing to pay because of how horrible this was.” And then they fucking left. You gulped down tears of frustration because now you had to pay their fucking tab. Your uniform was soaking wet and the whole restaurant was waiting for your reaction.

Taking deep breaths, you made your way to the back office and to your locker. You twisted the dial lock, opening the door with a loud squeak. Pulling on a spare pair of blue jeans and an extra work shirt, you walked back on to the floor. The whole floor was still silent, anticipating your response.

“Aren’t you people supposed to be eating right now?” You walked back to the kitchen, grabbing the mop and starting to clean up the mess. You finished bussing the table, running the dishes through the washer to catch up. Out of nowhere, Joanie corners you in the dishwashing area.

“Hey, so I know that was, like, super embarrassing for you, but I’ve got to go, so I’m gonna need you to cover the rest of my shift.” She bit her lip when you didn’t reply. “Yeah, Joe out there at the bar top is taking me out, if you catch my drift.” You could hear the wink in her nasally voice.

“Unless he’s a hitman and that’s the definition of the phrase you’re using, then I don’t care.” Joanie scoffed at your retort.

“I can stay for like ten more minutes and then I’m leaving, so you’re gonna have to stay.” You rolled your eyes at her, not stopping your dishwashing. She walked away and you finally had a few moments of peace, so you dropped your head to your chest, exhaling sharp breaths leaving because you wouldn’t let yourself cry over something stupid.

When you walked back on to the floor, there was hardly anyone there, which you were thankful for. Stephanie had gone home earlier, leaving just you, Joanie and George in the restaurant. Seeing as how dead the building was at the moment, you decided to pull your laptop out again to finish your essay. You sat in the booth you did earlier, leaning your back against the wall, legs stretched out in the seat. You were putting the finishing touches on your essay when the screech of the front door hinges alerted you to a new customer. “I’ll be right with ya!” You placed your laptop on the table, not looking up to see who walked in, expecting it to be a customer this late.

“Oh, hi. I’m Joanie, come have a seat at the bar and I’ll getcha order, sweetcheeks.” You heard Joanie’s obnoxious voice croak to the newcomer.

“Uh, no thank you.” You heard Bastian’s voice respond to Joanie. “I’m actually going to sit over here with Y/N.” His finger pointed in your direction, his body following soon after.

“Ew, why? The goods are over here, sweetheart!” You had to hold back a laugh at Bastian’s wide eyes. He made his way to you faster, settling into the booth quietly.

“Joanie?” He asked expectantly, to which you nodded with a smug smile. You asked if he wanted a glass of water from behind your laptop screen. You got up after he nodded grabbing two ice cups and a pitcher. Joanie leaned over the counter to talk to you.

“Hey, Y/N/N. Who’s the hunk at table twenty one?” You groaned at her question.

“First off, Joanie. I’m Y/N to you and weren’t you supposed to leave five minutes ago?” You snipped at her. Joanie’s face was one of annoyance.

“I just wanted to fucking know. It’s not like he’s going to be interested in you.” You rolled your eyes at her response, walking back to Bastian in the booth.

“Just go home Joanie, neither one of us wants to deal with your shit. Also, I’m pretty sure that Joe wants to take you out.” The woman glared at your back as you sat down. She quickly picked up her purse and stormed out the front door. “Sorry about her.” Bastian shook his head.

“No, you’re good it’s not your fault.” He gestured to your laptop that you began typing furiously on. “What are you working on?”

“A discussion posting for one of my classes.” Bastian’s eyebrows raised, waiting for you to elaborate. “It’s about what movie we would show to the class for female empowerment. I picked Miss Congeniality, such a fucking good one.” Bastian laughed, filling his cup with water. You paused for a second, looking up from your computer screen. You looked at him for a long while, tilting your head at him. “How was your day, Bastian?” You asked while closing your laptop screen.

“It was good, I actually slept really well last night, so I was actually rested when I went to the gym. Then I ate pasta.” Bastian had a wide smile on his face as you laughed at his recollection of his day.

“Well, are ya hungry now? I can get ya something from the kitchen. We don’t close for another hour or so.” You pushed your laptop into your bag, standing from the sticky seat. “I’m getting my second milkshake of the day because I want one.” Sebastian stood and followed you to the bar top, watching patiently as you took out the ingredients.

“You know, I’ll have a milkshake with you.”

“What kind?” You turned to face him, leaning your weight on the counter, “And just so you know, I’m going to judge you based on your milkshake flavoring.” Bastian tilted his head forward, whispering his request.

“Do you have peanut butter and chocolate?” Your brows raised, a loud ‘hmm’ escaping while you turned to get out the rest of the items.

“We do. I figured you were gonna be like, ‘can I get a vanilla, please?’” He made a face at you as he pushed off the counter, doing a spin on the chair.

“Nah. I’m not a fan of vanilla in any capacity.” A shiver went down your spine at his rasp. Is he referring to what you think he’s referring to? “So, I’ve got a question for you.” You looked at him expectantly. “What’s up with your accent? You keep dropping it and picking it back up.”

“Do you always ask people about their accents the second day of speaking to them?” You pressed the button on the blender, not giving him time to answer. The blender stopped for a second and you asked, “You got a thing against accents?” With a wink, you started the blender again.

“Not at all, I actually spent a long time trying to drop my own accent, so I know it can be difficult. Normally, I wouldn’t mention it, but I’m curious about you, so I did.”

“What accent?”

“What do you mean, ‘what accent?’”

“For you, what accent? I haven’t heard you speaking with an accent.”

“Oh well, thanks. I’ve worked very hard for that. Now what about yours?”

“Customer service.” You stuck a straw in each milkshake, sliding his over the counter, which he caught with a raised brow. “It’s just my customer service voice. I am from deep down south Texas, but I don’t really have that accent unless I’m speaking to customers.” His brows furrowed.

“Then why don’t you have it with me? I’m a customer.”

“You’re not a customer, Bastian.”

“I wanna be a customer, Y/N.”

“Bastian.”

“Y/N.”

“You’re not a customer.” He released a loud groan which you laughed at as you made your way back to the booth. You stretched your legs to rest on the other seat underneath the table. “I thought we were friends, Bastian.” He glared at you playfully as he wrapped his lips around his milkshake straw. You rolled your lips inwards. “Hey, Bastian?”

“Hm?” He asked while happily drinking the final gulps of his milkshake.

“Did your milkshake bring all the boys to your yard?” He dropped his head backwards to rest on the booth back.

“Oh my god, Y/N.”

“What? That was funny!” You both burst into a fit of laughter. Sebastian glanced down at his watch, showing you the time. “Oh, yay. Closing time.” You stood from the table, bringing your empty cup with you, holding your hand out for Sebastian’s too. “It shouldn’t take me too long to close up, if ya wanna hang out in here.” He smiled wide, nodding his agreement. When you walked to the back, you saw that George had already done more than half of the cleaning.

“Oh my god, George! You didn’t have to do that, I would’ve helped.” George straightened from his position over the grill.

“Yeah, I know, but you were having a good time with what’s-his-face and I know you’ve had a rough day, so I figured I’d do more than enough for you to leave early.”

“Leave early? George, I’m not going until you do, so let’s get this done.” The corner of your mouth twitched up as you walked to wash yours and Sebastian’s glasses. “And his name is Sebastian, just FYI.” It took you and George about twenty minutes to finish up the cleaning. It would’ve been shorter if Bastian didn’t tease you on the way you swept the floor.

“Hey, so I don’t know what your plans are for tomorrow night, but if you aren’t busy you could come over to mine for a Miss Congeniality marathon.” You suggested as Bastian walked you to the bus stop, despite his protests. He looked over at you with a smug smile.

“Are you askin’ me out, right now?” You stumbled over your words at his question,

“Psh, I mean, like, no? But, hypothetically if I was, like, I dunno, what would you say?” He hummed a laugh at you.

“I would say yes, but only if we watch both of them.” He leaned over to you, “And if we had loads of jars of peanut butter that I can dip chocolate bars into.”

“I think you have a slight obsession and a deal, Bastian.” You stopped walking, digging in your bag for your phone. “Here, put your number in and I’ll text you the information.” After getting your phone back from Bastian, you opened a new text under his number. His phone dinged a second later, “Just checking to make sure you weren’t giving me a fake number.” You winked at him as you left. “I’ll text ya, Bastian!”

*************************

You did end up texting Sebastian. Two days later. Not that Sebatian was worried that you wouldn’t text him, you seemed like a woman of your word. He was reading over an audition script that his manager had sent him when you texted. His phone buzzed against his countertop, prying his attention away from the highlighted sections.

you busy later tonight?

The question was simple in theory. He wasn’t, not that he knew of anyway. Apparently, he took too long with his reply because his phone buzzed again.

it’s y/n, btw.

He laughed at that before typing his response.

I figured it was you, Y/N, also, I don’t think I’m busy later tonight.

Want to cash in on that Miss Congeniality movie marathon?

Sebastian nodded to himself, proud of his callback of your previous conversation.

haha, if you want to we can. i’ve got a shift at the diner later tonight though

He made a face at his phone, readying himself to salvage the situation.

i was just wondering if you’d come keep me company at the diner tonight?

A large smile spread over his lips.

Yeah, definitely. When does your shift start?

it starts at five pm, but it usually slows around eleven if you want to come then?

otherwise, i’d have to wait on you like a real waitress and i doubt you’d like that ;)

I mean, I don’t know, maybe I want the special customer service Y/N

Only if the accent is included in the customer service package though ;)

accent def included for my fav bastian <3

Sebastian’s eyes widened. A heart? What’s a heart mean? Oh what the hell ever, it doesn’t matter. A pretty girl that he is genuinely interested in has invited him to come hang out with her. Granted, she’s supposed to be working, but those are minor details.

I’ll be there around eleven tonight, then.

He thought a second before biting his bottom lip and adding.

I’m excited to see you :)

God, he hopes you don’t take that as him being a creep, perv man.

i am too, bastian. i’ll see you tonight. i’ll be the one in the comfortable shoes ;)

***************

Time couldn’t have passed any slower for you. Tonight was a typical shift for you, so all your regulars were tipping you well. Joanie, on the other hand, was also working tonight. She was training a new girl. A horrifically bad idea in your own professional opinion. However, you weren’t the boss, Stephanie was and to Stephanie, Joanie was an angel who could do no wrong. You don’t know what the fuck Joanie did to get on Steph’s good side, but there she was. Joanie was with the newbie behind the counter, “teaching” her the ins and outs. You could just faintly hear what Joanie was telling the new girl, whose name you think was Amber?

“Okay, so this is where we keep the tea pitchers and coffee pots. If they’re empty, just tell Y/N and she’ll refill them for you.” Joanie chewed her bubble gum obnoxiously. You rolled your eyes, walking away from their conversation. You’re going to have to retrain her anyway, so why not just ignore them for the time being?

“We don’t refill them ourselves?” Amber seemed to have good intentions when she asked. Joanie made a face at her, shaking her head quickly.

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.” She leaned closer to Amber to whisper in her ear, “Y/N gets so pissed off if I try to do anything but take care of my tables around here.” Amber’s eyes widened, throwing a glance in your direction. You were holding a tray full of dirty plates from all your regular’s tables, on your way to the back. You threw your head back in frustration before tossing a glare at the two women behind the counter.

“Are y’all going to just stand there and gossip, or are you going to help me bus these tables? We have people waiting at the fucking door and you’re just standing there.” You’ll admit it, that was harsh. Not uncalled for, just harsh.

“See?” Joanie scoffed, popping her gum again. “Total tyrannical bitch.” She rolled her eyes before looking around the diner. Joanie placed her hand around Amber’s upper arm. “Come on, I’ll show you how to greet the people at the door and sit them.” You glanced at your watch, reading the time to be 11:15, Bastian should be here soon. You were unloading the dishes and stopping to get a drink when you heard his voice following Joanie’s.

“Hey there, hot stuff.” Joanie’s gum popped again. How unprofessional can you get? Chewing gum as a fucking server? How this woman hadn’t been fired yet was beyond you. You had your back turned to them, pouring yourself a cup of coffee. “How many’ll it be tonight?” Joanie slipped a slight southern drawl into her voice, mimicking your own. Bastian cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Uh, just one.” You turned around, pulling the cup to your lips, watching Bastian’s frame over the rim. You watched as his eyes darted away from Joanie quickly as she leant down, showing off her breasts to him. “Are there any seats open in Y/N’s section?” Amber scoffed quietly, rolling her eyes. She took the menu from Joanie’s hands when she saw that Bastian wasn’t giving her any attention.

“Actually, there isn't, sir. I’m so sorry about that. I do have some seats open in my own section at the bartop if you’d be okay with that.” Bastian bit his bottom lip, coughing lightly.

“Um, yeah I guess so.” Amber led him to the bartop, pushing past your body at the coffee maker. She was talking to Joanie on her way over.

“This guy is so fucking hot. Does he come in here often?” You decided to keep your mouth shut, waiting to hear what Joanie replied with.

“He came in this one time, late at night. I was just leaving so I wasn’t able to serve him, but I think he’s gay, so probably not worth the effort.” Joanie had taken up a defensive stance with Amber. Apparently, Amber was encroaching on what Joanie thought was her territory and you were reveling in it.

“Whatever, he’s so not gay. He’s too fucking hot the be gay. I’m going to go for it.” Amber raised a brow at a stunned Joanie. Amber pulled out a pad from her apron, clicking her pen before starting towards Bastian.

“Well, you’re still going to need my help because you’re a newbie.” Joanie sassed at Amber.

“Nah, I’m okay. I think he’ll find it cute if I do it myself. Ya know, first real customer bit?” Amber walked away confidently, leaning down in front of an oblivious Sebastian. She put a pad on the counter, leaning to write, displaying her chest to Sebastian. You could hear her conversation with him.

“Hi, sir.” She was attempting to be seductive? “I’m Amber and I’ll be your servant today.” She brought her hand up to her mouth, “Oops,” her eyes widening, “I’m sorry, I usually use that in a different context.” Your jaw dropped, a cackle working its way out of your mouth. Sebastian looked horrified at her insinuation, his face entirely too pale. “I’ll be your waitress tonight. What can I get you to drink, sir?” Sebastian kept his replies to the woman short. Amber walked away confidently, adding a sway in her hips as she left, attempting to draw Bastian’s attention to her ass.

Amber was next to you as she was making Bastian’s drink. Your phone buzzed in your apron, a text from Sebastian came in.

SAVE ME

THERES A NEW WAITRESS I THINK AND SHES FUCKIN CREEPING ME OUT

You laughed to yourself, bringing your hand up to your mouth to muffle the escaped giggles. A noise of disdain left the body next to you.

“What the hell are you laughing about?” You glared at the woman. “It’s not like you’re interesting or anything.” The front door squeaked loudly before you could form a retort. “Oh look, a new customer just for you.” She danced her fingers in front of your face. “Run along.” You shot a look at her retreating figure before taking care of the people at the front door. You sat them down, bringing them their drink order soon after.

As you were heading back to the kitchen, you looked over at Amber and Sebastian. You popped the bones in your neck, making a decision. You walked over to the pair, placing a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder as you sat in the seat next to him.

“Oh my god, Bastian! Why didn’t you text me that you were here?” You leaned in for a hug, whispering in his ear. “Just go along with this and you’ll get a free meal.” You pulled back, still holding his shoulders with a smile on your face. “Why aren’t ya sittin’ in my section?” Sebastian leaned back, holding a hand out to Amber.

“She said you were full, so she sat me here.” You turned to Amber, brows raised waiting for an explanation.

“Did she? Well, I guess I can just serve you here then. You already decide what ya want tonight?” You pulled out your own pad, ready for his order when two fingers began snapping in your face.

“Excuse me? Hello? This is my customer.” You glared at her, eyes flicking back and forth across her face. You cleared your throat, sticking your hand out for her to shake.

“Hi. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Y/N.” You waited for her to shake your hand, but she just stared at it in disgust. You retracted it, placing it at the base of Bastian’s neck, playing with the hair there. “This is my boyfriend, Sebastian.” Amber’s eyes widened at your statement, her jaw dropping slowly.

“That’s impossible.” She groaned when neither of you denied it. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. He’s in my section now, so he’s my customer.” You narrowed your eyes at her while she tilted her head in defiance. You looked around for Stepahnie, calling her over to the group.

“Hey, Steph. I’m really not feeling up to being able to stay for the rest of my shift. You know how I’ve got all those tests tomorrow. Do you think that I can clock out early to study at home?” Was this morally the right thing to do? Eh, you don’t care. Amber’s annoying, so why the fuck not?

“Of course, honey. Good luck on your tests tomorrow.” Amber made a noise at Steph’s decision.

“You know she’s not going to study right? She’s probably going to suck his dick in the alley behind the diner!” It took every shred of will you had left to not slam her fucking head into the counter.

“Amber!” Stephanie raised her hand, pointing to the back of the diner. “My office. Now! You too, Joanie!” Stephanie placed a hand on your shoulder, an apologetic smile on her face before she followed a huffy Amber and Joanie.

******************

“That solved that problem!” You laughed as you walked beside Sebastian. Your laughter was music to his ears, it brought a wide smile to his face that just wouldn’t go away. “Well, I’m free for the night, for real now.” You stopped walking, looking upwards at Sebastian. “Do ya wanna come over to mine for a movie night? I’ve got peanut butter!” You bribed him, which really was unnecessary, he wanted to hang out with you however you would let him.

You both had decided that ordering pizza was the best option because you were both feeling a bit peckish. It was now a bottle of beer each and a whole pizza later, the pair of you were on your couch in your apartment watching the first Transformers. Sebastian had stuck to his side of the couch as well as he could. He was a large man, but he wanted nothing more than to respect your own personal space. You took it upon yourself to break him of this. You laid your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arm around his right. You glanced up at him from his shoulder.

“Is this okay with you?” He wanted to speak, but he was too enraptured by your beauty, so he settled for a nod. “Good because you’re really comfy.” You snuggled into his side, making his heart beat faster. He desperately hoped you couldn’t hear it.

“This is probably the best out of all the Transformers.” Sebastian said in an effort to draw your attention away from his ever increasing heart rate. Your head lifted from his shoulder, making him internally frown.

“Mm, I think I like the second one more.” You put your head back on his shoulder. “Really, I just like John Turturro in it. His character makes me laugh.” You let out a small giggle accompanied by a hiccup. Your phone began buzzing on the coffee table and you held your arm out, making grabby hands towards the device. Sebastian laughed at your action, leaning forward to grab it for you. Joanie’s name lit up the screen, you groaned while denying the call, tossing your phone back on the table.

“Want to watch Mamma Mia?” Sebastian smiled.

“Only if you’ll sing all the songs with me.” You laughed as you switched the shows on your TV. You shifted your body upwards, waiting for Sebastian to stretch out so you could lay down. You had already hit play when you head rested on his lap. The opening titles of the movie began and you both started singing with the song. The show continued on and you began commenting on everything in it, making Sebastian’s stomach hurt with laughter. You grew quiet as Sebastian was laughing, watching him from your spot on his lap.

“What? Something on my face?” You leaned up, shifting into a sitting position facing him, still not saying a word. “Y/N?” Sebastian watched as your hands came up to his face, tracing his features.

“You’d make a good Sky.” Your fingers continued to trail along his cheekbones lightly. Sebastian’s eyes slipped closed as he enjoyed the moment of peace with you. His revere was broken by a gentle pressure against his lips. His eyes snapped open to see your face closer than before, your hands dropped to your own lap. “Oh my god, I’m so--”

Sebastian cut you off, pulling your face to his in a searing kiss. He backed away slightly, allowing his thumb to run over your bottom lip and chin. A silent agreement was made between the two of you in that split second. Giving Sebastian the permission he needed to bring his hand returned to the side of your neck, drawing you back into him.

****************

His tongue was the first thing your lips felt. Tracing the inside of your top lip, before entering your mouth completely fighting for dominance. His hands left your face, traveling down your torso, pulling your midsection against his. Neither of you broke the kiss when he pushed against your ribcage, nudging you back against the couch cushions. Sebastian slotted himself in between your legs, bringing his left hand to the outside of your thigh. His lips left yours and descended on your neck, forcing your head upwards in bliss.

“Not here.” You moaned out, hands gripping the top of his curls. A powerful kiss was exchanged between the two of you before you spoke again. “Follow me.” Your eyes flicked over his face. You got up quickly, shedding layers of clothing on the way to your bedroom. You could hear Bastian doing the same behind you, causing you to giggle a little. Your laughter was cut off quickly as Sebastain heard, catching up to you quickly. He wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up as he walked. You were both down to just your jeans as your back hit the mattress.

Sebastian planted little kisses on your shoulders as his hands went to your jeans button. He looked up at you for a go-ahead before continuing. Not half a second after a yes slipped past your lips were your pants on your body. A groan of appreciation left Sebastian’s mouth, the action leaving a shockwave of vibrations that shot through your body. He left you for only a second to discard his own pair of pants, before settling on top of your body. Sebastian placed his hand on your waist, nodding his head upwards.

“Scoot up, Y/N.” His voice was rough but it was velvet to your ears. His hand never left your waist while you moved. Sebastian leaned down to kiss your collarbones. “Before we do this, Y/N. I need to know that you want this.” You were rendered almost speechless by his actions and Sebastian picked up on it. He brought his left hand to your face, brushing a stray hair out of your eyes. “Use your words.”

Your heart definitely just fell out through your vagina, what the fuck. You leaned out from underneath him, reaching your hand into your bedside drawer, pulling out a foil packet. “Yes, Bastian. I want this.” He smiled, kissing your neck again. “Now are you going to fuck me? Or am I going to have to do it myself?” You could feel a rumble leave Sebastian’s lips on the column of your neck. The skin there was slightly wet from his constant attention, not that you minded, of course. Sebastian continued on his downward path, both of his hands on your stomach, holding you in place. He inhaled your scent as he went down, licking his lips in anticipation. He kissed the front of your underwear before hooking his fingers into the waistband and tugging the fabric off your body.

“Oh, Y/N.” He groaned as he dove. in. tongue. first. Your head reared back in euphoria as he latched his lips onto your clit. A sigh of content left his lips, vibrations attacking your nerve endings. “Where have you been all my life, baby?”

******************

Sebastian backed away slightly, bringing his arms underneath your upper thighs. He hiked your legs over his shoulders, bringing his face further into your pussy. If Sebastian had to describe what heaven was like, it was this. Your legs tightened around his head as he flicked his tongue against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Sebastian’s left hand came up to your mouth. He watched as you wrapped your lips around the digit, swirling your tongue around it, his eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. Sebastian pulled his finger out of your mouth soon after, bringing the now wet digit to your entrance. He watched your reaction as he traced your clit, then as he sunk his finger into you. No, that’s what heaven is. That reaction on your face, the dropped jaw, the squinched eyes, staggered breathing, that’s heaven. He’s sure of it.

He retracted his finger before pushing it back in, a squelching sound emitting from your labia. It’s only now that Sebastain realizes just how tight you actually are. He wonders for a brief second if he’s going to fit. He continues this motion for a few more pumps, slowly opening you up for him.

“You think you can handle another one, darling?” Sebastian’s voice was scratchy, waiting for an answer before he went any further. You let out a moan of assent, causing Sebastian to laugh lightly. “What did we talk about, Y/N?” His voice dropped an octave. “Use. Your. Words.” He punctuated each word with a thrust of his finger.

“Yes! Oh god, yes, I can. Please.” Sebastian pulled his finger back, lining up another.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” He watched as his digits disappeared into your awaiting hole. A loud moan left your lips again, your hand coming down to Sebastian’s hair. Sebastian never stopped pumping, even when your hips began lifting off the bed. He began hooking his fingers against the walls of your vagina. His own hips began grinding against the bed as he watched you climb.

“You gonna cum for me, Y/N?” You nodded quickly. “Come on, sweetheart. Words, Y/N.” His actions sped up, and he watched as you struggled to form words.

“Yes, Sebastian. Can I cum, please?” Both of your hands went to his hair as he began sucking on your clit. Your grip on Sebastian’s hair was almost painful, but he basked in it. Your hips started lifting off the bed, but Sebastian was having no part of that. He used his right hand to hold you against the mattress as he ate you out like a man starved. There was only a brief second that his mouth left you.

“Cum for me, Y/N.” Your body responded to his words immediately. Legs shaking on his shoulders, eyes rolling in the back of your head, all because of the man between your thighs. Sebastian wondered when the last time was that you had been treated, but he didn’t care. He knew you shouldn’t either, Sebastian would take care of you for as long as you’d let him.

His fingers never stopped their movement, making you reach a second climax during the waves of the first. You eventually began to push against his head, needing a breather. Sebastian climbed up your body, leaving kisses, covering you in your own essence. He settled with his arms on either side of your head, a proud smile gracing his features.

“That was fucking hot.” He leaned down, sloppily kissing your lips. “You got one more in there for me, darlin’?” Sebastian watched as you captured your bottom lip in between your teeth, flashing pearly whites at him. You held the foil packet in your hand, eyes flicking to his still clothed center. You opened the package as Sebastian unveiled his own. He saw your eyes enlarge and nostrils flare for a second before returning to normal. He leaned down, kissing your forehead. “It’ll fit, sweetheart.” He winked at you as he sat back, holding his hand out for the condom.

You angled forward, stretching the latex material over his stiff member. A shudder ran down Sebastian’s spine at the feel of your hands on him. Before you could lay back down, Sebastian caught you by the back of the neck. He pulled you into an intense smooch, continuing this as he laid you down. Your legs fell open and he situated himself between them. Sebastian ran his hand up the outside of your thigh, curving it around his hip. His eyes flicked to yours, waiting for your approval.

“Fuck me, Sebastian.” You groaned out, tossing your arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. He sighed into the exchange, grabbing a hold of his dick, positioning it at your entrance. The kiss broke as you both looked down to watch as the head of his cock disappeared into you. A warm feeling radiated from your chest as you took in Sebastian’s blissed out face.

“Oh god, ești atât de strâns.” Sebastian didn’t move for a few minutes, letting you adjust to the size. One of your hands left the nape of his neck to grip his bicep.

“Two things.” You were slightly breathless which made Sebastian’s chest swell with pride. “One, what language was that?” Sebastian smiled at your question, happy to talk about it. You held a finger up before he could speak. “I can tell you’re about to give me some long winded answer, so why don’t we save it for when you aren’t inside of me? And two, will you please move?” Your sentence was cut off by a moan leaving your lips. Sebastian angled his hips forward, pressing more of him into your body.

“You’re doing so good, lubita.” Sebastian’s eyes cast downward, watching as he slipped the rest of him inside of you. You both felt him bottom out, sighs of pleasure leaving both of you. Sebastian pulled back, leaving just his tip in before dropping his weight onto you, sinking in fully.

“Oh! Bastian, faster please?” Sebastian decided to make you suffer, apparently. He denied your request and ignored your pleading whines. He hooked your other leg over his waist, continuing his hard and slow pace. You were able to wrap your leg around his, flipping his body underneath yours, his cock never leaving you. Sebastian looked up to with wide eyes, taking in your form on top of him.

“My turn.” You spread your knees, bouncing on his thick thighs. You leaned back, placing your hands on his calves to steady yourself. Sebastian took advantage of this position, your exposed clit just begging for his attention.

“Feel good pe penisul meu?” Sebastian’s hands hadn’t left your waist until now. His palms left a hot trail up to your breasts. He tilted upwards, gripping them in his hands. “Atât de frumos.” He latched his mouth onto your left breast, tongue swirling your nipple. His right hand drifted to your neglected clit, rubbing it with quick circles. Sebastian managed to catch onto your rhythm and began thrusting upwards in time. You let out a loud groan the first time he did, almost losing your balance.

“You close, darling, huh?” Sebastian brought his right thumb to your mouth as you nodded and sucked. “Baby,” Sebastain drug the vowels out in a patronizing tone. “What did we say?” He hit into you harder when you didn’t answer, not accepting your beautiful little sounds.

Sebastian quickly flipped the script again, tossing you on your back onto the bed. His cock left you only briefly. He was soon lined up and sinking in again in no time flat. You threw your head back at the feeling, a loud moan leaving your mouth.

“Close! I’m clo--” Your words got cut off by Sebastian’s thrusting. He leaned forward, whispering in your ear as he spoke.

“Asta e iubito. I’m right behind you.” He exhaled harshly, “Fata buna. Let go, Y/N.” You felt it come up from your toes and the tips of your fingers. Your mouth dropped open as Sebastian brought you to the edge and threw you overboard. Tears began to form at the corner of your eyes as he continued thrusting.

“Sebastian!” A scream left your lips, shocking Sebastian into silencing you with his hand over your mouth. His body grew rigid, eyes rolling in the back of his head. He breathed heavily, gasps of ecstasy slipping in and out. You both stayed still as you caught up with your beating hearts. Sebastian figured you’d eventually want him to get off of you, so he pushed himself away. He discarded the condom in your bathroom trash, bringing a damp towel to clean you up with. You were still laying on the bed, immobile. Sebastian began to worry.

“Y/N? You okay, baby?” Your head lolled to face him, a blissed out expression riddling your features. A small ‘mhm’ sounded from your lips as Sebastian spread your legs again. “Words, darling.” Sebastian berated playfully. You went to push away his hands from your center until he explained what he was doing. “Shh, it’s okay, dragӑ. I’m just cleaning you up, I promise.” He tossed the towel into your bathroom, before crawling in next to you. You shifted to your side to face him fully.

“What language was that?” Sebastian smiled at your quiet voice.

“That would be Romanian, sweetheart.” A small yawn left your lips, causing more tears to gather at your waterline. “I’ll tell you all about it later. Right now though, let’s get some sleep.”

“You’re hot.” You booped Sebastian’s nose before dropping your head onto the pillow, the duvet pulled all the way up to your chin. Sebastian laid there admiring your relaxed face, his eyes memorizing every detail. “I can feel you staring at me. I thought we both decided to go to sleep.” You opened one eye to stare at the man lying next to you. Sebastian smiled softly, curling his arm around your bare waist to pull your body to his.

“That we did, dragӑ.” He kissed your forehead before closing his eyes.

“Goodnight, Bastian.” You pressed a soft peck to his jawline, snuggling into his body heat. Sebastian didn’t respond because he had already drifted off into his first night of unbothered sleep in weeks.

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theghostofashton · 3 years

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Hi - do you really think that Blaine was depressed throughout seasons 2 to 6, until he sought therapy and was diagnosed as depressed? Because I read it differently. He said in 6 after the split “I got really depressed”? Not that he’d been depressed for years. And i think the depression had come then, after a tough breakup and being cut from Nyada, and going back to Lima where he seems to have no friends until Dave comes along.

I am not an expert, and you probably know more than I do. I do believe he had certain triggers that set him off in seasons 3-5 mainly. The biggest trigger is being left alone, loneliness - and we see the effects of that in DWS in three, the cheating in 4, the way he acts in Tested. The other thing is not being listened to, or accepted for what he is - his response probably for his dad’s reluctance to accept he’s gay and his brother’s constant belittling treatment of him as a child. This is why he puts on the act at Dalton so he is accepted; the reaction to nothing being done re Sebastian - Cough Syrup; the lashing out at Sam/Finn in season 3; Tested. (Insert also the ridiculous comment in Pupoet Master - why does no one listen to me?)

The effect of these triggers is that it leads him to do something stupid or irrational, such as pulling away until the emotions build up and over and he breaks down - DWS, Tested, (Shooting Star and Quarterback - he closed in on himself then broke down when he could take no more. ). Or the cheating - he went to find someone to relieve his loneliness. I don’t honestly think he was depressed at all times throughout the series. Most of the time he’s a happy soul, it’s only when the triggers set him off that we see his darker side.

I think throughout the NY arc the situation has been building, and you can tell things aren’t going well generally in the relationship with Kurt, and it’s all building up in Blaine’s mind, until one night it firs happen and Kurt explodes and breaks it off. I think people try and say it’s because Blaine is depressed, but Kurt too has his unresolved issues and they contribute to the split too.

Idk, I know from personal experience that having triggers does not mean a person is depressed, there’s just certain things will send them spiralling?

hey! thanks for the ask!

i do believe blaine's been depressed since s3. i feel like in s2 we didn't really know him, got barely any scenes of him on his own, so i can't say for sure i believe it from the time we met him. i think this all started between 3x11 and 3x14, after sebastian hit him with that slushy.

the thing with depression, is people may not always realize that's what they're dealing with. they'll have symptoms, but they may not make that connection right away. i think this makes sense for blaine, particularly in s3, given how young he is. i see it as something blaine was struggling with but didn't really understand. he didn't have the language to explain what was going on in his head or why he was feeling that way, but that doesn't mean he didn't feel it. he knows he feels bad, but he can't figure out why. in s6, he goes to a therapist who tells him he's depressed, imo, that finally makes everything he's been dealing with for years make sense.

one of the biggest indicators is cough syrup. the way that scene plays out, karofsky is supposed to represent one meaning of the song, and blaine another. karofsky's is pretty self-explanatory, in context with what he does, but as for blaine, because we know he speaks through music: "i'm losing my mind, losing control" "life's to short to even care at all" "i'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down". he calls the song inspirational because to him it represents being miserable, being in a bad place, and waiting for the remedy that will eventually fix it.

after the slushy attack, i feel like something shifts in blaine. 3x14 happens, then cooper comes back into town, then we learn he was withdrawing and distancing himself from kurt bc he's so scared of what'll happen once kurt graduates. the slushy attack is him essentially losing the warblers, then we find out that he feels abandoned by his brother, and then he freaks out bc he's worried about his boyfriend abandoning him. there's a pattern there.

i'm not sure if i'd call it being left alone, but rather being abandoned, that triggers him. being left behind by people who are supposed to love him. his dad, the warblers, cooper, kurt. it's kind of a form of betrayal, a break of his trust. he depends on people and this happens, so he withdraws instead, he stops trusting, because it's easier than getting hurt again. and he'll do this from the end of s3 to 4x07.

the other trigger you mention is interesting! i think i kind of see it as blaine's intense need to people-please, put on this mask and be who people want him to be, perfect and poised and composed at all times. that version of him is perfect, and everyone loves that person, and i feel like that messes with blaine's head bc of his deep-rooted fear people won't love the person he actually is. he knows that's a mask, that it isn't who he fully is, but the fact that he had to create that version of himself implies he didn't think people would love who he fully is enough.

i will say, depression doesn't necessarily mean you're sad all the time. "happy" people can definitely be depressed. actually, that's honestly more dangerous - there are thousands of cases where depression went unseen in people who were able to put up that front, act like nothing was wrong, which sometimes can have devastating consequences. he can still be a happy person and struggle with depression, and also, i think it's important to note that glee didn't really do much in terms of quiet, daily life moments. we saw the big events, but we didn't really see what he was dealing with on the day to day, you know?

another thing to know about depression is that it's often episodic: the person will be kind of in this "okay" realm for a while, and then they'll be hit with a depressive episode, where the symptoms become a lot worse. sometimes they're triggered by something, but other times they aren't. i believe the slushy attack triggered a depressive episode for blaine that doesn't really end until mid-s4.

i think the reason people don't pick up on how badly blaine is struggling (until s6) is because the cheating is treated as the reason he's in a bad place (he hurts kurt, his relationship ends, etc), instead of a symptom of something he'd been dealing with beforehand. the cheating is a symptom of a much larger problem blaine has, as evidenced by the fact that he starts to feel better once he's building connections with his friends, getting the glee club back to a place of unison, etc. it isn't just starting to mend things with kurt that helps him, it's more than that, because this wasn't solely about his relationship. this is more of a blaine problem than a klaine problem.

the 5b nyc arc is a whole other can of worms i won't get too into bc this answer is already nightmarishly long, but like you said, they both have a lot they're dealing with at the time. the breakup definitely functions as a trigger for blaine, but so does kurt getting gaybashed, so does not fitting into new york the way he imagined he would, so does the reality that the problems he had in high school are still problems because he didn't fully fix them, if that makes sense. they both needed to communicate, yes, but they also both needed to recognize their individual issues and start work on them in order to come back together stronger.

and as for your last point: yeah, having triggers doesn't mean a person is necessarily depressed, but it does mean they've been traumatized, and having that trauma triggered can definitely lead to depression. everything is kinda tied up in that way, you can't talk about one without talking about the other, you know?

#i am so sorry for how long this is!!#but i think the overall point is just that.....depression doesn't have a singular look and manifests differently based on the person #you're free to see it differently this is just the way i've interpreted it #glee gave us quite a bit of material but didn't explicitly tie it all together so interpretations can def vary #depression tw #blaine anderson #glee #glee meta #long post #answered #1908jmd #blaine thoughts

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yukina-otome · 3 years

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Hiii miss yukinaaa ! ❤️❤️

I'm in love with you I mean Your writing especially arthur vs mc in chess ❤️❤️❤️

May i request something ? About mc x arthur..you can choose what genre as long as it happy end bc i can't stand angst :')

Thank you so much before ❤️❤️❤️❤️

A perfect Night

Hello ! You are my very first request ! So I tried my very best ! I hope you like it !!

One night, the whole mansion was having a dinner banquet. The weather was not too hot, not too cold. The food was delicious and the wine was good. It was a perfect night.

"Tomorrow I will leave the mansion for a while. Sebastian, MC I leave the mansion in your care." said le compte. Sebastian and MC nodded.

"And where are you going this time ?" asked Leo

"On a business trip to Spain."

"How nice. I love Spain. I've been there many time for work." MC smiled, remembering her days as a Travel agent.

"Work?" asked Arthur

"Ah ! You mean your days as a travel agent ?" answered le compte

"Travel agent ? You were a travel agent ?" Arthur never heard of that before

"You klootzak ! What kind of boyfriend doesn't know his own girlfriend's job ?" Theo teased his best friend.

"Theo! you knew ?" Arthur still couldn't believe his beloved hided this information from him.

"I think everyone else here knew." said Isaac adding to Arthur's frustration.

Arthur turned to MC with a pout "and how come I was the only one who didn't ?!"

"I'm sorry Arthur but you never asked." MC gave him an apologetic smile.

Now that he think of it, he never asked about MC's past, family, friends or occupations in the 21st century. He knew all her little habits and can read her like an open book. So he thought he was the one who knew her the best in the whole mansion, heck in the whole world ! But he was wrong ! This is something he need to correct ! Right now!

As soon as the banquet ended, Arthur took MC by the hand and led her to her room. As soon as the door closed behind them, he let go of her hand and said "Now darling ! I wanna get to know you !"

MC looked at her adorable boyfriend. His eyes were wide and full of determination, his brow were frowning and he looked like he was getting reading to listen to some important lecture about the different functions of the renin-angiotensin-aldosterone system. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing MC ?! I'm serious ! We may have started our relationship backward but i will definitely fix it ! Please tell me !"

"I'm sorry Arthur ! You're just too adorable."

Arthur pouted. MC approached him and put her palm against his cheek.

"It doesn't matter if you don't know about my life in 21st century. Because you are the one who know the most about my current life here in 19th century, with you. "

Arthur felt the tension leave his body and he finally smiled.

"But I still want to know. My love you are the one who knows me the best in the whole universe. So I want to be the one who knows you the best too."

She gave him a kiss.

"Of course. If there is anything you wanna know please feel free to ask. I will tell you everything"

He kissed her back. And they spent the night getting to know every nook and cranny of each other.

Later into the night, the moon hung high and the two lovers were resting in each other arms. There damp naked skin flushed with the passion that consumed then few minutes ago. Arthur's head was resting on MC's chest as she gently played with his soft hair. He let out a satisfied sight and his eyes fell on her handbag.

"You never showed me what was inside that bag you brought with you from your time."

"It's nothing special but I'll show you."

Arthur got up and fetched the bag for mc before getting back on the bed. MC opened the bag and pulled out a hand mirror, some notes that Arthur insisted on reading out loud making her blush with embarrassment, a makeup pouch, a camera, a small laptop, and her phone and charger.

Arthur could recognize some of the items but he had no idea what the other were for. MC laughed at his confused looked and turned on her laptop who was thankfully still charged. Her phone was already dead but she had a folder full of her pictures on her laptop. She opened the folder.

She turned the laptop to Arthur and said : "Here, those are my pictures from my life in the 21st century."

"Oh ! They are in color ! "

"Yes. As you can see technology is well advanced in the 21st century."

Honestly, Arthur didn't care much about the advancement of technology in the 21st century. He was gonna live through that eventually anyways. Him being a Vampire and all.

He was more interested in MC's pictures. MC opened the first picture for him and showed him how to scroll through the pics. He saw her smiling in different settings and with different people. And every time he asked "Where was that ?" or "Who is that ?". She showed him pictures of her family. She looked like her mom. A lot. Or maybe she looked more like her father ? He was smiling as he scrolled through the pictures. The clothing of her time were way more revealing and he stopped at a picture of her wearing a swimsuit.

"Can I get this picture out and keep it ?" he said with a flirty smile.

"Arthur !" Mc blushed many shades of red. "Also you can't. You can with 21st century materials but there is nothing we can do here. Once the battery of this laptop hit zero these photos are gonna be lost forever" she let out a sad smile.

He looked at her, serious. "Don't you miss your old life ? Your friends, your family, your job ?".

His eyes were full of fear and vulnerability. In fact this question has always been on his mind. What if she regretted staying with him. Was he worth all she sacrificed to stay with him ?

"Of course I do. But I decided to stay with you and I never and will never regret that decision. Because you mean the world to me. I love you Arthur."

Arthur felt his eyes sting, that was exactly what he needed to hear. Tears started rolling out on his cheeks and MC hugged him. There naked skin touched and they could feel each other's heartbeat.

"I love you too."

It was truly a perfect night.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevam arthur #ikemen vampire arthur conan doyle #ikevamp arthur #ikemen vampire arthur #arthur conan doyle #ikevam #ikemen vampires #ikemen vampire headcanons #yukina-write #yukina write #requests

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theblackbirdsgemimagines · 4 years

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Ramble away, cause I feel the twisted head rot, I kinda wanna see what you think about our bois. ~ a pocket sized dragon hops in excitement.

A POCKET SIZED DWAGOOOOOONNNN 😭💞💞💞 That’s so BLESSED, and tysm omg, I’m very glad to just spill out my barking on every boy, bc yEAH THE BRAIN ROT SKDHAKDB

THE BRAIN ROT IS SO REAL LOL

Everything I breathe ends up relating to TWST in some way, like at this point just let me take my friends, cousins, and pets, and of course Lulu and Seb, and I will have 1. A Gottdamned Harem, 2. So Many Children, and 3. NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. Kwfhskdhjwek

Ok this is gonna be long bc I gotta cover all my boys, so rip lol.

Dorm Leads:

Riddle

GOD, my Fucking Baby, my CHILD, my SWEET BABY BOY, I’M 👁💧👄💧👁

I would die for him, beetch, he is PRECIOUS ♥️

He reminds me of how I feel Ciel would behave if S/O took the place as Sebastian’s contracee, too, so like 🥺 Lots of feels 😭

Is Son, I have adopted him now. If you mistreat him, don’t ever speak to me or my son ever again. I’ll FIGHT his MOM, don’t TEST me. I’m his new mom now. His BIRD mom. So proud of him, he’s like...one of the few that’s actually shown growth in canon after his overblot kshdkadjs

Leona

👁💧👄💧👁

.....I am a Mere Simp....

Ya’ll.... I swearh to ghOD I simped hard for Scar back when I was a wee thing, I did NOT expect to simp for him AGAIN LATER IN LIFE, what the FUCK aidhskdhskdj

Like shit bitch, damn, you may not be king of Afterglow honey, but you can be king of my heart if you wAnt to bb....

Leona: *smiles once, even if it’s smugly*

Me: *WEEPING* Look at hiiiiiiim!! My sunshine booooooy! 😭

Does this make me a furry

Probably

I am too Simp to Care Anymore

I HESITATED TO GET ATTACHED BC THIS BOY LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN WOMANIZER IF I EVER SAW ONE, BUT HE DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE EVERY SINGLE MORNING AND I WAS A GONNER SNDJAJDHSJ

FUCK

Call me a Herbivore again, bully me //SLAPPED

Azul

He secretly a lil shit sometimes, but tha’s ok, it’s mostly in a silly way, especially post overblot~ UvU

The sweetest bby everytime I read fanposts on him, like god, ah 💜💜💜 WHOMST COULD BULLY SUCH A CUTE CHUBBY OCTOBABY I’LL FIGHT ALL OF EM!! A sweetheart 10/10 would be his friend 💗 Not making contracts with him tho, lol

...ok maybe SOME after his overblot, but they’re able to be easily reversed now, so it’s way more chill andhsjdj

Kalim

FUCK!!!! F U C K!!!! BABYYYYYYY!!!! BABY!!!! I HAVE ADOPTED HIM IF YOU TOUCH HIM YOU D I E

He is literally so sweet, anytime anyone was like “you’re so nice it’s annoying” I WAS READY TO COME FLYING IN TO BITCH SLAP THEM LIKE AJDHSKDHSJ (even if I also loved them lol)

Like NO you are WRONG whfksjd

He has also grown so much, and I am proud ♥️🧡

Vil

Jesus Christ, canon Vil is Hurting Meeeeee ajdhskdhsj

My fave fanon Vil is the one that recognizes all different types of beauty, though~ uvu and is v encouraging to anyone that may be struggling with self hatred 💜

Canon: Vil is pretty~.

Me: Wow, wtf???? He IS so pretty... How rude I didn’t think you were serious! Wow him??? Pretty??? Wow??? Wow...

Idia

I’m not sure yet, as I haven’t seen him very often, but of the few times that I have: BIG same, huge mood, and Me FUCKING Too, goddamn akdhakdj

Idia is my Anxiety and Anime Nerd personified tbh lol

What Ortho is to him are what all my comfort characters are to me, honestly.

Like what would you like bby, you want that singing voice?? Ok here comes a synthesizer just special for you~. Ily, mwah~ u3u 💕

Malleus

HEAVY BREATHING

Ok maybe it’s just the lack of story/info out on him yet, but I don’t currently simp as hard for him compared to Leona, I’ll admit jajdkajd

BUT BOY HOWDEY DO I EVER STILL S I M P...

He Is Baby... And I Lob Him....

I am going to smooch those horns and forehead crown of beautiful scales 🖤🖤🖤 I am going to do it!!!! Here I go!!!

HE CAN HAVE ALL THE ICE CREAM AND TAMAGATCHI DATES HE WANTS I’M- 😭

This man is too precious for words, and I have so much childhood nostelgia to ‘enchanted’ woods, and being in the mountains, so he has Old Fae Friend vibes to me~🖤

DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON F-

Ngl I ship him and Leona a lil bit lol

No, not just bc that makes a poly with my two faves easier, but that is a bonus factor jadhajdj

Vice Dorm Heads:

Trey

Oh my god, the Daddy to my Mommy with all these newly adopted lil kids of ours, ya know??? What a wholesome sweetie and funny lil shit jahdksdh~

I love him, I would gladly make tarts with, AND for him 💚💚💚

The kind of boi who I’d ship HARD with anyone he started dating bc My God it would warm my heart So Much 💞💞

Ruggie (unofficial but may as well be at this point lol)

He took a while to grow on me kadhskdhsj

But I think he’d be a sweet, if a trouble-maker of a friend to have~.

Dank you for taking care of my sweet lion bby, honey, I’m sure Farrena is a sweetheart, but boi I hope he gets his shit together to fix up where Ruggie lives 😭

I think if I met his granny, I’d CRY jadhajsh 💗💗

Leech Twins (?)

Idk if they’re vice leaders, but who cares lol

THESE are the older Big Brothers in every sense of the word. (My canon ages most everyone up just a bit, save for Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Kalim, Jamil, Cheka, and anyone already 20+)

The ANNOYING older big brothers, lol.

The ones that hug you to death (Floyd), or use you for an arm rest (Jade), and specifically Do the thing you asked/told them NOT to Do.

This is fine with me tho, I’m an only child, please give me the experience of annoying older brothers lol 💙💚

Jamil

I used to hate you bby, I’m so sorry akdhskdhs

I’ve adopted him now, and I’m v proud he’s trying, but making clear what his boundaries are, and trying to come out of a shell he was made to be in for so long 😭

AND HIS DANCING IS SICK LIKE HONESTLY I’M SUCH A PROUD MOM 💗💗💗

Rook

God. FUCKING Rook, lol.

IDK IF I SHOULD TRUST YOU, but I also kinda wanna be your friend akdhakdjs

HE CONCERNS ME but he also seems nice and v sweet sometimes, lmao

Blz don’t stalk me tho 😬

STOP SHOOTING YOUR ARROWS AROUND SCHOOL YOU BLOODY HEATHEN FRENCH PRISS, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

Also, if he DARES hunt cute animals around me, especially BIRDS, I am going to GRIP him jahdkahdsk

He’s like if Lord Druitt was a Little More Nice and a Little Bit Less Creepy ajdhak

Lilia:

GOD.

I LOVE THIS FUCKING GRANDPA.

I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS FUCKING. GRANDPA.

I absolutely hc him as nonbinary w/masc pronouns, I absoLUTELY do.

I adore him, I love him, I haven’t gotten a squish (hardcore desire to be someone’s friend, lol) this hard for a character since AngelDust, I-

Pwease be nonbinary friends with me, Lilia 🥺

THE ONLY PERSON HERE SHORTER THAN ME, BUT I’LL TAKE IT AJDHAKDHJS

Anyone know Corpse and how he plays Among Us? That’s how I see Lilia playing his video games with friends and I JUST I JUST I J U S T

The Spencer to your Carly.

He and Crowley are free to compete as Dad with me too like honestly kshdkadjjs

He’ll always be granpa tho uvu 💚💖🖤

Extras:

Ace

God, the Fucking Annoying Middle Brother that pranks you ALL THE DAMN TIME, but I love him andhakdhsk

Deuce

THE BROTHER THAT WILL BEAT UP YOUR BULLIES 💙💙💙 SWEET BABY BOY

The Josh to Ace’s Drake. The Cody to Ace’s Zack. The Freddie to your Carly and Ace’s Sam.

If he and Ace started dating, tho, I would CRY.

But regardless who they end up dating, it’ll be slow burn friends to lovers, and literally the most adorable shit to watch EVER 💞💞💞😭

Cater

Seems Like A Womanizer But Actually Drinks His Reapect Women Juice And We Stan That 🧡

Can always count on him to help tou get the best Magicram shots, bless you Cater 🧡🧡

Also rly wanna be his friend, ngl 😭 Even IF he pranks me a lot kadhakdhsj

Jack:

H E AV Y BR EA T H IN G

Ngl my feelings for him are in the air IDK IF I WANNA SMOOCH OR NOT YET I JUST KNOW I LOB HIM HE GOODEST BESTEST BOY 💛💛💛😭

If all three Savannaclaw bois got in a cuddle pile with me, I would Not Be Mad

How can I give this boy love, tell me and I will Do It

Gift him all the cacti’s he WANTS💛

God he drinks that respecc women juice bright and early on his run every morning, you KNOW he does 💛💛💛

I wawnt to pet his ears an tail an fwuffy wolf form 😭

I WAWNT TO SEE THE BOY SMILE AND BE HAPPY 💞💞💞

Sebek

CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL CH-

He is a v devoted guard tho, we love to see it UvU

I don’t have more info on him hekdhskdj but his fanmade content seems v v sweet~ 💚

Silver

HE ATTRACTS BIRDS AND I CRY ABOUT IT PLEASE BE MY FRIEND AND TEACH ME HOW 🥺🥺🥺

Him being raised by Lilia and Malleus literally gives me so much Fucking Seratonin....... God 💞💕💗💗💞💞💗💗💕💞

Ortho

IS BABY????? IS BABY!!!!!! I’M LOVE HIM I’M ADOPTING HIM IS BABYYYYYYY 💙💙💙💙💙

Cheka:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

He is so FUCKING CUTE what the FUCK!

Leonaaaaaaa... 🥺 Your NEPHEWWWWW 😭

I might steal him from Farrena tbh, lIKE MY CHILD NOW~ 🧡🧡

I just sob and hug him every time I see him honestly 😭

Teachers:

Dire Crowley

Ohhhhhh god oh god oh god

Be my dad. Please. Be my dad. PLEASE be my dad. Ya’ll think I’m joking, I’m not. Please adopt me. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

This man as a father gives me so much dopamine and oxytocin and seratonin??? I have been weeping for WEEKS, please adopt me, Sir

Fathers with zero braincells being wrapped around a daughter’s little finger makes me so weak, and I am just here with Daddy Issues like ajdhakdhsj BLEASE ADOPT ME MISTER BIRD MAN

Crewel

Ew.

Forgive me, I haven’t seen much content with him in it/that could be considered wholesome, bUT JADHWKDJSJ

UncoMFORTABLE

Please keep the kink talk out of the classroom, S I R

Call me puppy one more time, see what happens, I’m not scared to fight a teacher akdhakdhsj

Trein

The Dad Figure that tries to be the stern part to Crowley’s blumbering kahdkqrhsjdj

Don’t feel as much attachment to him emotionally, but I like him~

Just let me pet your cat sometimes and give you holiday presents, and we’re cool~ ♥️

Vargas

Found the womanizer //SMACKED

And of course, I can’t forget Grim~!

He’s grown on me, and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in the room, and then myself 😭

I will pet and snuggle and hold him all he wants and feed him all the tuna his heart desires uvu 💙

#THIS TOOK A LONG TIME FORGIVE ME JADHSKDHSKDH #MY PHONE WAS LAGGING IN TYPING AFTER A WHILE I WAS LIKE KEEP GOIN BESSY ANDHSJJD #twisted wonderland #twst dorm leaders #twst vice dorm leaders #dire crowley #leona kingscholar #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #idia shroud #vil schoenheit #malleus draconia #asks #answered #THANK YOU FOR GIVIN ME MORE OF AN EXCUSE JSADBJASDN #<3 <3

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

Text

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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chal-lelerc · 4 years

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ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

#max verstappen #charles leclerc #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #f1 #formula one #f1 grid #harry potter grid #finally done folks lordt #was anyone waiting for this idk but it's here #it's also glaringly obvious who i know less about but that too is something that one must excuse #whoops

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boyfriend-cal · 5 years

Note

can you write something about being calum's best friend as a kid but one of you leaves the other one and then you reunite as teenagers or young adults?

ok so this is kinda weird that I’m relating it to this but I saw The Lion King last night and I love Simba & Nala’s reunion. here we go

word count: just over 1k bc idk how to shut up

(friendly reminder: taglist, masterlist, request!)

You were young when Calum left. His family was moving too far for you to ever visit. Mali wanted to pursue music, and their parents thought they might as well get a start on Calum’s soccer career. When he left, he hadn’t one hundred percent committed to soccer yet, but you knew that’s where he’d end up. He loved it.

The two of you often spent hours on the soccer field at the local park. You couldn’t play soccer for shit, so usually, you just fetched the balls for him. That was until you got tired and resigned to laying in the grass.

There wasn’t much warning before he left. He mentioned it one day on the walk to school, and then a couple days later, your mom told you that you’d have to walk alone now. You and Calum were eight years old, and at first, you were hurt that he left without saying goodbye.

As you got older, you realized that Calum was probably responsible for telling you he was going and he didn’t. You blamed it on the fact that he was young. So were you, sometimes you try to think about what you would’ve done if you found out that you’d be moving away from everything you knew in two only two days. You probably would’ve let a few things slip your mind too.

It wasn’t a big deal anymore, you were now almost twenty-two, and it’d been over ten years. Most memories of Calum were fond ones. Some of the memories were sad ones that were created in the first few weeks that he was gone. Little things like racing outside in the morning to tell him something before you realized he wasn’t there or wanting to call Mrs. Joy’s phone to see if you could come over.

Today, you’d been thinking about him after your mom had tagged you in a post she made so many years ago on this day. The first day of Kindergarten. You and Calum stood in the lawn with big grins and empty backpacks slung over your shoulders. Standing shoulder to shoulder, both of you had one hand on a brown paper lunch sack. You laughed when you saw it, remembering that Joy and your mom always took turns making one big lunch with enough for you both to share. It was a way to make sure you two stayed together throughout the day.

You sigh as you walk down the sidewalk, locking your phone and shoving it into your back pocket. Today was the first day you had off since last week, and you were so relieved to spend the day at home watching endless Netflix episodes. That was until you had a craving for an iced latte. Sure, you could’ve made one yourself, but it wouldn’t have been as good.

That’s why you find yourself pushing the door open to a small café just down the street from your relatively new apartment. You’d moved into the area a few months ago, and exhausting your savings on new (to you) local businesses hadn’t gotten old yet. It was actually good for you to get out and make yourself a familiar face.

The line in the café wasn’t long so in fifteen minutes you were making your way to the door, coffee in one hand and your phone in the other. You were checking the time as you nudged the door open with your shoulder. You just wanted to make sure you’d have enough time to finish the season you were watching before your mother expected you to come over for dinner.

You lose your footing as you step on something and on your way down you barely graze someone's shoulder. It’s a blur, but you feel your hands in a cold puddle of the drink you just paid for. When you flip yourself, so you’re sitting on the ground, you try to find who you ran into.

“Watch it next time!” A tall, dark-haired guy throws over his shoulder. His back is to you, his hair is buzzed, and he’s wearing one of those tank tops that people usually only wear as undershirts. He pauses for a moment, picking up his boot-clad foot to look at the spilled liquid that coats a little bit of his pant let. “Damn, I just had these washed.”

Quickly, you scramble to your feet to try to catch up to him. You wanted to apologize and maybe give him some money to get his slacks dry cleaned. They looked nice.

“Hey! Wait, I’m sorry. Let me fix it.” You stop short of him as he turns around. There’s something familiar about his bushy eyebrows and full nose.

“Calum?” You ask, your eyebrows scrunching and your head shakes just the slightest bit.

“Y/N?” He says in disbelief. It’s weird how fate works because he’d been thinking of you today too. His mom has screenshotted the post and sent it to him this morning.

“It’s really you, huh? After all these years.” You chuckle, your hands are held awkwardly away from you because you’d landed in a puddle of your drink.

“Guess so. It’s funny that my mom sent me a picture of us today.” Calum brings his arm up to rub at the back of his neck, and that’s when you notice the thick, silver chain that’s wrapped around it.

“Yeah, first day of Kindergarten with our shared lunch. It’s funny to me now, but we used to love that. Seeing what they packed us was the most exciting part of the day.” Calum grins, and you smile immediately matches his.

“What are you up to today? Would you want to hang out?” He shuffles his feet a little bit, looking nervous for a split second.

“I was really committed to watching Nextflix and maybe ordering Postmates for lunch, but I guess I could move things around for my best friend that disappeared over ten years ago.” You tease him, rolling your eyes and then nodding. “Sure, we can hang out. I need to go inside and wash my hands.”

“Let’s start with coffee, what did you have? I’ll order another while you do that.” Calum walks past you and opens the door for you. You tell him and then make your way to the restroom.

After ten years, he should seem like a stranger. He should make you want to be cautious because a lot can change in that amount of time. It’s not anywhere close to that though. You suddenly feel like he never left.

reblog if you liked it or wanna save it!! feedback is always appreciated 💕

Taglist: @calumsnatchedmyheart @aulxna @mikeyglifford @calssunflower @sebastian-sunshine-stan

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epiitaphs · 4 years

Text

Sebastian and Control

a list of potentially relevant older headcanons: prison, emotions, attention-seeking, how does he reconcile the fact he kills for a living, why he won’t leave jim’s network, silence/nothing to do, caring or not, feelings surrounding his discharge, a weird drabble about his life before/during/after jim, hc about freedom

(this is approximately 1700 words. so yknow, read only if you’ve got a couple minutes.)

Okay, let’s start with some audience participation. How do you perceive Sebastian? Either through your own eyes or those of the characters you write. Would words like cold, calculating, or possessive come up? They should. But do you think that he has control? I’m not asking if he’s controlling, because he is, and it’s not the same thing. The answer is no. Sebastian seeks out control but ultimately is incapable of possessing it for himself.

Sebastian seeks to control others’ perception of him. This manifests in a couple important ways: in forcing people to pay attention to him and in calculating his actions and performances. For example, we see this in his constant drive to pick fights with people. The thing is, there’s a difference between simply being aggressive and being attention seeking. He’s both. As I say in ‘attention seeking’, “a lot of seb’s bullshit comes from wanting people to pay attention to him bc like. people always have. He hates his father, but he needed those arguments because it meant that he was causing a reaction.” There are other issues at play when it comes to his relationship with his father, but in fighting with him, but never completely overstepping boundaries, he is keeping his father’s attention firmly on him and not elsewhere. He doesn’t want to quietly fade out - he needs to know that his actions have an effect. Because being quietly ignored means he has no control over what’s happening in others’ minds. Which brings us to what I said in ‘silence/nothing to do’, which was: “He needs to know what the other person is thinking, and it’s even better when he knows that they’re imagining stabbing him with a rusty fork.” He needs to have control over other people’s perception of him or else he won’t know how to act or what to expect. A lot of Sebastian’s control paradox is all about keeping himself safe. So he either makes people hate him, because he knows how to deal with that or he makes them show what happens when pushed a little farther. And he likes it when people push back - that isn’t a bad thing. He doesn’t want every single person he meets to hate him, even if it may seem that way. He just wants to know how they react.

Loss of control terrifies him. Sebastian has never lived without control. His father, for whatever his actual intentions may have been, was controlling. This is why Sebastian can’t live without control but also gives it up so easily to others, especially when it comes to work life. Sure, he rebels against authority - against his father - but does he really? If you remove the actual details, Sebastian did exactly what was expected of him by going into the Army. Did he become an officer? Did he become a politician afterwards? Absolutely not. But Sebastian followed the overarching rules, while breaking ones that would get him attention but not isolation. The fun thing is - and why this is a little bit of a paradox - is that Sebastian isn’t actually easy to control. He’s quite difficult to control, in fact, when he sets his mind to it. Thus, him giving someone control requires his consent, whether implicit, explicit, or manipulated out of him. It’s possible for him to give it up, but it is not easy for him to get it back.

Okay, so he gives up control in some situations, but that’s not really a failure to grasp it in most cases. Where does the actual failure come in? Well, folks, that’s where we get into Sebastian’s emotional wrangling. He does feel emotions, even if sometimes it may not seem that way due to his expert level compartmentalization. However, the way that he expresses emotion is typically funneled into anger because he doesn’t know how to express it. And that’s where the issue lies. He doesn’t know how to deal with emotion because he’s been taught in several ways that showing it is weakness or dangerous. He needs to have control over them or there will be consequences. This is why for Sebastian, love is a kind of control. Admitting he’s in love with someone means that he’s giving over control of himself to them in some way, which of course ties back into the fact that he’s scared of giving up control. So he tries to control how he shows that, which is why it’s so hard for him to admit it.

And he tries and fails to control the true emotions he feels. He buries his grief, his guilt, and anything that could hurt him. He still feels them, which is why he can never have true control while he denies their existence. Not to paraphrase notable historian of Algeria, Benjamin Stora, but simply covering a wound only invites gangrene. So what is the wound in question? Arguably, there are likely more than just one, but the deepest one is David’s death. Sebastian has never properly dealt with the emotions surrounding it and he feels incredibly deep guilt over it. He’s probably somewhat aware of that, but it’s not easy for him to acknowledge it, because examining the fact that he had no control over the situation is going to lead to a lot of other emotions flooding in and he’s always kicked those to the side. So he has very little actual emotional control, even if it may seem like he does. He can hide or display certain emotions as he needs them but ultimately, even if they’re hidden, they’re still there and still affecting him. This is why he acts the way he does in most relationships. He picks fights because he knows what to say and it gives him a sense of control and that if he really needed to, he could break their hold over him and make them stop loving him before they choose to do so on their own.

And then we get into his very desperate attempts at controlling his life and emotional responses. The guilt from David’s death is part of what drives the nightmares he has. His entire army experience undoubtedly fed into him developing PTSD, but David’s death is again, one of the major events that contribute to it, because of the emotions tied to David as a friend and mentor. And so when he’s cut loose from the army, he has nothing but free time. This is the first time that he really has direct control over his life - neither his father nor the army are telling him what to do. But he doesn’t actually have much control because his mental health is rocketing further downwards, and he feels like he’s lost control even before he actually has. And so he finds ways - to control his feelings, to control the nightmares, to control something. It’s not sustainable, but it feels like he’s doing something, and quite frankly he doesn’t think he’s going to live long enough to consider consequences. It’s worth noting that later on when he’s not using, being drugged against his will either for malicious reasons or for emergency surgical ones is something that deeply frightens him because he doesn’t have any control over what happens when he’s out and waking up brings disorientation that leaves him feeling incredibly vulnerable. His drug use was and his alcohol use continues to be about controlling how he feels (feeling being on several levels), so yeah, to call it specifically an escape...isn’t entirely accurate. He’d see it more as stopping or preventing all of the emotional/mental negatives he was or is experiencing.

These issues don’t go away entirely when he meets Moriarty. Yes, he had to get clean, but he’s not magically “fixed”. Moriarty provides structure - the way the army did, the way his father did - and it helps Sebastian a lot. This is the type of control that Sebastian’s okay giving up. There’s something about the total control Moriarty has that is comforting to him. That said, he’s not submissive about it. Seb may have handed over control, but he doesn’t always make it easy, even if Jim is an incredibly special case. But Moriarty holding his leash doesn’t magically make his nightmares or his guilt disappear. It just means that because he doesn’t see part of his life spiraling out of his control, he can work at controlling his emotional responses in a slightly safer - but still ultimately unhealthy - way. He feels like he doesn’t have to use super strong methods to do so. As I said in ‘hc about freedom’, “[f]reedom for Sebastian is the ability to do what he wants to do. Does he count working for Moriarty as part of this? Yes, absolutely. There is control and there is uncertainty, but he’s respected in terms of talent and usefulness and given just enough control that he doesn’t feel as trapped as he actually is.” Having given up something means that he doesn’t have to see how disastrously he controls himself when he’s on his own. Not that he ever did, not properly, which is part of why he crashes so hard after being kicked out of the army - “[h]e couldn’t find a way to regain control of himself because he’d never really had it.” - also from ‘why he won’t leave jim’s network’.

As we know, Sebastian’s a reasonably perceptive person. How does he deal with all of the contrasts as detailed above? This is where the calculation enters in. It’s a type of control. If he regiments everything he does, he can just follow cues and try to keep on top of a situation. If he has control over peoples’ reactions, he can get himself through something. He also simply doesn’t deal with any of it. When there is external control in his life (his father, the army, moriarty), he can focus on the tasks that each of those bring instead of feeling like he needs to grasp at the straws of trying to keep control of his mental and emotional state. It’s not healthy, but because seeking actual help would mean giving up control over how people perceive him, it’s not going to happen. There are scenarios where he can heal and get some sort of idea of how allowing himself to have full control without being overwhelmed by everything he needs to take care of could be possible. Ultimately, it is true that he seeks control and it is true that he cannot grasp it for himself, but he can give it to others with varying degrees of fear involved.

#when thy heart began to beat | sebastian headcanons #anyway i sat down to do this and i was like ' i need a thesis for this argument ' so i wrote one #the thesis sentence is probably the teal deer for this post. it is - as it should be - at the end of the intro paragraph #there is more i could say probably and there may be better ways to say some of the things i've said but ive stared at this too long already #alcoholism cw #drugs cw

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captnbarnesrogers · 7 years

Text

When Dodger Begins To Love

Pairing/Characters: Chris Evans x Reader, Dodger the Doggooooooo Warnings: swearing, this is just fluff basically Summary: The times where Dodger became close to you and the time Chris realised he loved you. Word Count: 2.2k+ A/N: I thought this was a cute idea but I don’t think I delivered it very well! I woke up from sleeping bc I dreamt the ending lmao! Happy 1 Year to this blog and to me reaching 2.5k! Wooooo! Thank you everyoneeeee <3

You’d met many times before and you would consider him a friend, you and Chris. No conversation was ever dry or boring, everything felt so comfortable. Every time you would talk, the exchange would end in laughs. You’d met through mutual friends like Sebastian and events like parties. Of course, every time, you were seeing someone and so was he.

When you had landed the role of a new movie starring yourself and your dear friend, Chris, you were more than psyched to actually get to know him better. While on set, you had learned a lot of what he loved. For example, he loved to play piano (although he believed he was terrible, in which you would always argue with him that he was amazing), his love for the New England Patriots was endless but it would never succeed his love for his dog, Dodger. Dodger, the lover of other dogs and his little stuffed lion, had Chris wrapped around his paw.

Chris finally came around to inviting you to dinner at his house after months and long hours of shooting scenes. As soon as you entered the house, you were jumped by the not so little puppy as Chris had described. You didn’t complain, you just laughed and returned the love to Dodger, accepting the licks on your face.

“Oh, hello there.” You laughed,

“C’mon, little guy, get down!” You patted the dog’s head and he jumped down from you, pouncing around you in excitement,

“He’s a lot bigger than I expected! You described him much smaller.” Dodger trailed behind you as you entered the kitchen and helping Chris with dinner.

It wasn’t too long after when Chris found out you had adopted a dog too. You were moving into your new house, so much closer to your job and you didn’t have to fly out and rent a place every time you had a new show or a new movie in Los Angeles. The weather was better too and your newly added best friend, Missy, a Jack Russell Terrier, loved the heat and the days where she could play in the park. Chris helped you move into your new place, not too far from his own, Dodger by his side and Missy right by yours.

“What made you move from NYC?” Chris asks while grabbing a box from the moving van, he had suggested that you get someone else to do all the moving in for you, but you were the type of person who liked to do things for yourself, so you could have the satisfaction of saying that you did it,

“You know, filming and shit is so much closer and easier to get to, I don’t have to waste money on plane tickets and plus, the weather is great here.”

“Yeah, I get it.” He smiled at you as you both took boxes into the house, “Well, I’m glad you moved out here, so I can see you a lot more.” You nodded and placed those last two boxes on the floor, “You think we can take a break?” You almost zoned out completely when he wiped the sweat from his forehead, making you bite your lip,

“Uh, what?”

“You wanna grab some sandwiches or something?” You shook yourself back into concentration,

“Yeah, yeah, I could really use one.” You both walk out into the garden to find Dodger nudging his head into his toy, offering his stuffed lion to your Missy, “Fast friends, aren’t they?”

It was seven long months before you could see Missy again and Chris too. Filiming had taken over your life and you had no time to talk to your friends and family or even post on social media. You were extremely tired. So, when you arrived home after those seven months, you crawled into bed and didn’t leave its warmth for another two days, snuggled up with your trusty Missy. Unbeknownst to you, you were beginning to get sick, only noticing when the worst had come; a blocked yet runny nose, a chest infection, and a pounding headache. You groaned as you heard the knocks at the door cursing at whoever was disturbing you. Nevertheless, you fixed your hair and tied your robe over your pyjamas and opened the door. On your doormat stood the six-foot-something, broad shouldered Chris. You whinged at the sight of the sun.

“Didn’t you get my texts? You look sick.” Chris says, concern surround the tone of his voice,

“I, uh, didn’t charge my phone when I got home.”

“Y/N… That was three days ago, you haven’t gotten out of bed since?” You shook your head and motioned him into your house, Dodger following behind him,

“I had a shower last night but that’s it.” You plopped yourself onto the sofa and sighed, “My nose and my head are killing me, everything is killing me.” Dodger whines and places his head on your knee, looking at you with worried eyes,

“He can feel you’re unwell, he’s worried.”

“I’m alright, boy, I’ll be okay.” You said with awe, stroking the fur on his head. As you bring your focus on Dodger, Chris is carrying Missy and scratching her ear while looking at you. He smiles while stares at you, not knowing why. He shakes himself back in the room and places Missy next to you,

“Hungry?” You nod. He makes his way to your kitchen and begins the preparation to make you some soup. Moments later, he makes his way over to the sofa where you lay and places the bowl on the table. As he turns his attention to you, he notices the soft snores coming from you, Dodger, who was sprawled on your legs, and Missy, who was resting on your chest, your arms cradling her. He laughs and strokes your hair back from your face, your eyes flickering open at the sight of his face, “Good morning, sleepy head.”

“Hi.”

“I made you something to eat.” You pat Dodger on the head and sit up, he hands you the bowl and you thank him. He turns on the TV, sitting beside you with Dodger snuggled on your side and Missy snoring on Chris’ lap. You both hadn’t paid attention to the TV, busily chatting about work and how much you both miss your family. It wasn’t long until silence covered your mouths, quiet snores filled the room, the sound of infomercials drowning out in the background; both of you unknowingly snuggled together on the chaise of the sofa, your head resting on Chris’ chest and his chin resting on your head.

You both woke up in the morning as if sleeping snuggled against each other was a reoccurring thing for you to do. He smiled at you, a groggy ‘good morning’ coming from his lips. Suddenly, he sneezes,

“Shit, I’m sorry!” You laugh.

Dodger and Missy circled you and Chris as you both sat on the sand, waiting for the sun to set. Chris had just told you that after the night you had spent together a few months before, Dodger began to get whiney when you weren’t around, that he really loved you, probably more than Chris himself.

“So, Y/N, what are you doing next week?” Chris asked, his hand digging into the sand,

“Nothing, why?”

“It’s my birthday on Tuesday and I’m going home to celebrate with my family, do you wanna, you know, come?” Your family affairs weren’t exactly your cup of tea. The constant nagging to get married and have kids as if you were made for that sole purpose only, made you groan in frustration, as you were, as you yourself fully knew, were so much more than that. But if you were invited to someone else’s family affair, especially a birthday, it wouldn’t be so bad. You nodded and thanked him. Suddenly, you felt a head of hair nudge your arm and lift its head with a stick in its mouth. You stroked Dodger’s fur and laughed,

“Yes, of course, I’ll play with you.”

Tuesday came around like a race car. You were packed and dressed, ready to be picked up and taken to Massachusetts. Knocks were heard coming from your front door. You took a little jog from your room to the door, opening it to Chris embracing you.

“Happy Birthday, handsome!” You cheered, reaching around to hug him back,

“Thank you.”

“Let’s go?” You called out to your friend who came running in with Dodger and Missy, “Behave, you two.” You joked to the two pups before thanking your friend for dog sitting,

“They’re tied to the tails.” Chris laughed, making you agree.

After the flight from LA to Boston, you were greeted at the gate by Chris’ mom and one of his sisters. He gave them a hug and introduced you, his hand placed lightly on the small of your back, gently nudging you in a supportive manner.

“This is my friend, Y/N Y//L/N.” He says, smiling,

“Ah, finally, we’ve seen you in the movie and Christopher, here, is always talking about how amazing you are,” His mom explains, “I’m Lisa.” She gave you a hug,

“I’m Carly.” Carly’s hug following right after. In that moment you knew where Chris got his embracive side, making you smile. You and Chris walk to the car, your bags slung over your shoulders and Chris’ hand still on the small of your back,

“You talked about me?” You asked quietly,

“Was I n-not-”

“No, no, it’s cool, it’s cute.” Your cheeks flushed crimson and you smiled up at him, the space closing between the both of you but was interrupted by the sound of Carly’s voice telling you that the trunk of the car was open for your bags, making you walk away from an almost eventful moment. You had a wonderful time chatting with Carly and Lisa in the car on the way back to their house, laughter and gasps of baby stories of Chris filled the vehicle. You complimented the house and thanked Lisa for letting you stay with her family. Chris went up to his room and Carly showed you your bedroom, thanking her straight after,

“Everyone should be arriving soon, just a warning, we’re all really loud.” You laughed and shook your head,

“I love loud.”

“Then you’ll fit right in.” And Carly was just right, the entire night you were a perfect fit with Chris’ family and friends. Everyone loved you and spent the night surrounding you, telling you stories about Chris in his younger years.

Chris couldn’t stop staring at you and how beautiful you looked, how you easily got along with every single person in the room. He was amazed, in awe at how you captured everyone without even trying. He looks at you longingly, not being able to help it at this point. Everyone was truly in awe of you. God, even his dog loved you. By the end of the night, everyone and their mothers had told Chris how lucky he was to have you and what a keeper you were. He knew that in himself. He knew because he was in love with you.

He couldn’t sleep that night and neither could you. The rain was pouring cats and dogs and the thunder crashed boomingly, startling you every time it made an appearance. Suddenly, your phone vibrates indicating you had a text.

With that, you hear a knock on the door of the bedroom. You push the covers off of you and open it. Chris stands in his white shirt and shorts and you in your old college shirt, a couple of sizes too big for you, and some sleeping shorts. He takes your hand and leads you to the Queen-sized bed. You snuggle close to him as he rubs your back, his chin resting on your head.

“Thank you.” You whispered, gripping his shirt as another crash of thunder came,

“It’s okay.” You feel warm and safe in his arms,

“Your heart,” you begin, “it’s beating really fast.”

“Sorry.”

“No,” you laugh, “I don’t mind, it’s helping me focus, actually.”

“Oh?”

“That sounded less creepy in my head.” You both burst into laughter but quiet yourselves as quickly as you started, “You have a lovely family.” You look up at him,

“Thank you, they all love you, seriously, I’ll never hear the end of it if I let you go.”

“Then don’t.” Silence fills the room. As he holds you, he feels you relax even more,

“Y/N?” He whispers,

“Yeah?” He looks at the way the moonlight shines on your face perfectly,

“I really want to kiss you.”

“Okay.” His hand then cups your cheek and pulls you close, closing the already small gap between the both of you, crashing his lips onto yours. As your mouths move against each other, your hand moves to grip the hand on your cheek, his kiss deepening. When you both get the chance to pull away, something you didn’t really want to do, you were breathless,

“I’ve been wanting to do that since you got sick.”

“Ew, what?” You laughed,

“Oh, god, no, I meant the day you got sick, I saw how you were with Dodger and I just- I saw how we could be together and I just loved you.” Your eyes grow wide,

“Woah.”

“Shit, no, wait, I-”

“I love you too.” He stops his rambling and pecks your lips,

“Thank, God.” Before you knew it, the birds had began chirping and the sunrise was peeking in through the window, you both looked at each other, “Let’s sleep now?” You laughed and nodded,

“Okay.”

MASTERLIST

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @winchester-negan-one-shots @stevette60 @marvelous-fvcks @marvel-fanfiction @potterhead1265 @zoejohnson8 @frickin-bats @iamwarrenspeace @kenmen02 @captianwintersoldier @noelia8villa @bucky-bear-barnes @hollycornish @capsheadquaters @duncedgoofball @abouttimefortea@buchananbarnestrash @minervaem @barnes-heaven @buckyywiththegoodhair @mellifluous-melodramas @heartmade-writingbucky @hellomissmabel @justanotherbuckydevotee @alphaabucky @firebendergirl33 @naenae87 @sunnyfortomorrow @aya-fay @terraling @topthis808@savebxrnes @lediskogirl @mizzzpink @janellexox0 @potterhead1265 @lara-ludbey @bread-poet-society

STEVE ROGERS/CHRIS EVANS TAGS: @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14

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barneslives · 6 years

Text

Masterlist of Other People’s Fanfics

I HAVE A REALLY HUGE LIST OF FANFICS. I NEED IT ORGANIZED. THIS IS IT.

NONE OF THESE ARE MINE.

One-Shots that I plan to read sooner or later:

(Since this is getting some notes, just wanted to clarify that this list changes as I read it. I have a favorites list here, which I only add more fics. This masterlist changes pretty much everyday)

1 4am : it’s four am and he’s left wondering if he should call the girl across the hall. (582)

2 kiss me again : (993)

3 Truth or Dare : Seb fluffy and giggly smut where the reader is his best friend and they're doing the nasty out of curiosity and boredom (1,242 / smut)

4 The Times Sebastian Referred to You as His Wife and the One Time Where He Does It on Purpose : Sebastian keeps calling you his wife. (1,449)

5 Greek Days : (1,540 / smut)

6 Wasted Times : Seb smut based on Wasted Times by the Weeknd (1,600 / smut)

7 Touching In The Air : (1,923 / smut)

8 I Know That You Don’t : Sebastian is in love with his best friend; that much is obvious. For a while now, he’s been watching Y/N give her love to someone who isn’t worth it. After being there for her when said relationship is in shambles countless times, it began to feel like a routine. A routine that Sebastian did not want to be part of anymore. (2,000)

9 Anything For My Girl : You come down with a fever, and Bucky takes care of you. When you’re feeling better, he puts your mind at ease about your relationship and then really takes care of you. (2,200 / smut)

10 The Fabric Of A Soul : Bucky wrestles with what state his soul might be in. (2,300)

11 Loopy Love : Sebastian has finally come back home, but instead of finding his fiance waiting for him at the airport, he gets some bad news. (2,317)

12 Enjoying the view : Your mission is going perfectly. Target is charming, receptive… Then you notice the balcony door is unlocked. Hmm. (2,664)

13 Facesitting : (smut)

14 Music : Bucky doesn’t really understand ‘modern’ music. The reader is there to help. (2,818)

15 Lucky Fan : (2,900 / smut)

16 Soft : A more sure and confident Bucky, enjoys the softness in life. (3,283)

17 Staying In : Bucky and you had plans for the evening but neither of you really want to go (3,800 / smut)

18 Risky Business : A mission in Stockholm. A shared hotel room. And a secret. (3,898 / smut)

19 Countdown to White : The countdown of your life. Five more days until you marry Bucky Barnes and begin the rest of your life.

20 Going Slow : (4,067 / smut)

21 Euphoria : In which bucky discovers your stash or in which you and bucky get high as balls and fuck each other’s brains out. (4,153 / smut)

22 Stay the Night : “What did I say?”“You told me to behave.”“And what did you do?”“The exact opposite.” (4,300 / smut)

23 Colors In The Dark : The world is without color, and that’s never bothered the Winter Soldier. The Fist of HYDRA didn’t have time for love and soulmates. At almost a century old, what are the odds that his soulmate was even still living? (4,400)

24 Softly, Gently : Bucky hated the dreams that haunted him every night. But they weren’t always too bad. They can sometimes lead to good things, especially if there is a someone that can help him through the aftermath. (4,560 / smut)

25 Hey, Stranger : Bucky and you have broken up but you run into each other at Tony’s wedding (4,800)

26 A Soldier’s Sigh : A series of memories told through Bucky’s eyes. (4,800)

27 My Dearest One : Reader is Shuri’s best friend and meets the White Wolf one afternoon in Wakanda (4,980 / smut)

28 Give Me Love : Prompt: Can you please write a fic where Bucky has a nightmare and reader wants to help and he fucks her but in between he look at her and stops bc he doesnt want to hurt her. (5,800 / smut)

29 Die A Virgin : When things are not looking good on Y/N’s and Bucky’s mission, Y/N admits that she’s a virgin. Bucky, being the gentleman that he is, offers to help her out, if they make it out alive. (5,879 / smut)

30 Love Is For Children 1 | 2 : You’re a former mercenary turned Avenger who joins the team after fighting, and defeating, each member that tried to recruit you. You’re confident in your abilities and even challenge the man formerly known as the Winter Soldier. A battle of egos ensues and it’s Bucky that fights to get your attention but you’re a professional and won’t fall easy for his charm. (8,500)

Series I am trying to keep up with

1 Do You Remember : You remember nothing from the past ten years that you spent working for Hydra - they wiped your memories only days before the organisation imploded - but after meeting Bucky Barnes for the first time in your new job at the Avengers facility you can’t seem to get rid of the feeling that you know him from a deep, dark and violent past the two of you happen to share - but what role did he play in it? (On-Going / 3)

2 First And Last Time : A collection of one-shots describing the first and the last time the reader and Bucky did something - it’s not a coherent story. (On-Going / 3)

3 Daffodils : When Bucky’s mental health starts to spiral out of control, and worsen beyond anything he’s experienced before he’s put on lock down in the compound for his safety and the safety of others. It’s then that he finds a familiar necklace that leads him to memories and a mysterious woman born of water who might hold the secret to his deteriorating mental health. (On-Going / 3)

4 What Have I Done : A bad break up between Bucky and his ex leads to a new friendship with the quiet tech he never had the chance to get to know. Relationships grow, feelings are caught, and boundaries are explored. Bucky thought he found his happy ending, but old memories haunt his future. He knows what he’s doing wrong, dangerous eve, but he can’t help it. Can he fix the wrongs he’s done? (On-Going / 4)

5 Rome, 3am : Before he was found in Bucharest, Bucky lived next door to you in Rome trying to evade remnants of Hydra. Every night at 3AM you find Bucky smoking his usual cigarettes and trying his best to flirt. However, as time goes on he becomes more careless about staying hidden. (On-Going / 4)

6 Pretend : There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off? (On-Going / 7)

7 Espresso : In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected. (On-Going / 7)

8 A Series Of Vignettes : A series of episodes and events in the reader’s and Bucky’s relationship. Big and small, sweet or angsty, these stories lay out the moments in time they carved out for themselves in the crazy world they live in. They all take place in the same universe, but do not need to be read in any particular order. (On-Going / 10)

9 Golden Hour : A series of moments when everything sparkles, shines and glitters, just like it’s gold. (On-Going / 10)

10 My Neighbor’s A Jerk : Modern-Day (AU) There’s this mutual feeling between you and your neighbor, called hate. And since your first meet you both commence that feeling with a burning passion. You don’t know the reason behind his hate and you know for damn sure that he will never tell you. But what happens on the first day of your job, when you find out that you even work together? Maybe you will learn to co-operate? (On-Going / 10)

11 Shadows : After spending a month imprisioned, you were finally rescued only to find out that you were apart of something much greater than you could ever imagine, in the worst way possible. (On-Going / 13)

12 Blue : James and Y/N take a road tip across the country to help Bucky’s recovery process. A question Y/N asks at the beginning of the trip sets Bucky searching his memories for an answer, one he finds he needs if he can move forward. (On-Going / 15)

13 The Things We’ve Done : All you wanted was simplicity. You had moved to Washington, DC for a better start - to get away from what you were, to get away from what you were expected to be. You never thought you’d meet the Captain America in a bar just three days after moving. You never thought there would be a dangerous person in your apartment just hours after meeting him. (On-Going / 15)

14 I’m No Hero : When Y/N is caught in the crossfire of a HYDRA raid gone wrong, the Avengers take her in until she heals. Bucky is fascinated with her, and helps her find the courage she’s had inside all along. Plus, you know, a lot of other stuff. (On-Going / 15)

15 Ready to Comply : The reader was taken as a teenager by HYDRA and turned into one of the most dangerous weapons ever created. On a routine mission to take out their remaining bases, the team stumble across the reader and Bucky finds himself face to face with a ghost from his past. (On-Going / 19)

00 Bittercoffee | Duck&cover

1 Let’s Play Pretend : Bucky agrees to be your fake boyfriend for your brother’s wedding to appease your family. There’s only one problem - you want him to be more than just a fake boyfriend. (Complete / 3)

2 Rescue me : A strange man had come out of nowhere and grabbed your arm. He told you to, “Play along,” as he hauled you along with him. Next thing you knew, he had opened a door and pushed you through it. Once you were inside, he had bent low and told you that he, “Wasn’t going to hurt to you, and will explain in a minute.” You had only caught a glimpse of him, but you were pretty sure you saw the light glint off a metal arm. (Complete / 3)

3 One’s Promised : Living a double life was not a choice when one was the daughter of Alexander Pierce. Y/N was the youngest agents of SHIELD and one of the most respected threats within Hydra’s empire. No matter her allegiance, she was feared by both. Y/N Pierce would’ve tried to escape it all… if it hadn’t been for The Winter Soldier. (Complete / 5)

4 Peach Scone : In where Bucky has it so bad for you, he cannot find the words to confess his feelings. After an entire year of failed attempts, plus a declaration of love for scones, he decides it’s about time the words come out of his mouth. Only Bucky knows himself and is certain it’s gonna be one hell of a challenge. (Complete / 6)

5 Mad For You : Nat hosts a costume masquerade. Bucky meets the Alice to his Hatter. Shenanigans ensue. (Complete / 6)

6 Movie Night : Being an assistant to Tony Stark, you never felt like you fit in… that is, until Bucky invites you to an Avengers movie night in the compound. (Complete / 7)

7 Help Us : Bucky is in the process of recovery when a new Avenger causes his world to come crashing down again. (Complete / 8)

8 Fallen : The same haunting dark figure, surrounded in crisp white have plagued you since early childhood. For a while the dreams have stopped until you move to New York and they come back full force. You get a once of a life time vacation to a remote place in Russia and jump at the chance.Then you come face to face with the man of childhood nightmares. (Complete / 10)

9 Another Winter Soldier : Y/N spends most of her life away from people. She has a secret to hide, and there are people who are looking for her. After an assassination that confuses the world, will she be able to escape from the Avengers? Or will she join them and try to clear her name? (Complete / 13)

10 Delta : Reader is a rare being in the a/b/o cycle and finds herself along side the Avengers. She manages to hide her true nature successfully until she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed super soldier. (Complete / 13)

11 The Subtle Redemption of Lance Tucker : Lance is a perfect fixture in your past. Suddenly, he’s roaring into focus as your younger sister’s National Coach. As warning signs scream around you, resistance is almost futile. But you’re an adult now. You’re stronger than the silly little kid you were before, right? Right? (Complete / 13)

12 Remedy : When a woman is found at an abandoned Hydra base, more dead than alive, Bucky takes it upon himself to help her in any and every way he can. He doesn’t have much of a choice, being the first to approach her without the intention of hurting her in a long time, she doesn’t trust anyone around but him. (Complete / 15)Z

13 Me, Her, and You : For the last sixl: months you’ve been living in New York with your ten old year old daughter. After one failed job after another, you’ve almost given up. Then someone extends a helping hand, next thing you know you’re living in the Stark tower as a live maid. As you begin to get close to Bucky the truth about your incredibly gifted daughter comes out. Will your past come back to haunt you? (Complete / 18)sz

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