tfw you read a really sad story which actually happened and you understand every single decision of the person writing it. I can literally picture me living their life. some of the details they mention are so accurate that it's downright scary lol
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"Louis and Armand were still in love in Dubai!!" "Louis and Armand never loved each other!!" - no. it's worse. they were on the precipice of something good, but Armand couldn't recognize that, so he ruined everything they had, right when Louis had actually come to love him. the love was there for a fleeting moment and it was ruined irreversibly, never to return, even after decades they'd spent together out of desperation and spite. it's worse and that's the point
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And You and I
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Been thinking about how it feels, being the wild child
the struggle of not feeling human, when emotions get too strong,
when hands feel like paws and teeth become fangs, shoulders and hunches raised in anger and low growls of fear,
somehow this body language is easier, is more natural than my own
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How big a hit to his ego would finding out Myrielle fucked Daeron be to Aerion???
he'll get over it . you would hope .
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what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.
or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!
and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes
and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you
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*sobs*
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Hey. what do you think homelander does?
obviously he had his work, his filming, his product placements and ads, his photo ops, his charity appearances and otherwise for Vought.
I’m talking about outside of work. At 7:42 pm on a random Wednesday in November, what’s he up to? What does he do in his spare time? Does he have any hobbies?
i don’t think he does actually!! I think he may honest to god just wait around for the next role. For anyone to make him useful again.
Homelander is what Vought trained him into being, and that is tragic when he self destructs, but it is arguably even more so if and when he honestly has no idea what to do with himself without them. Like an abandoned toy, he can only do what he’s told. He’s only as good as the person commanding him decides he is.
i do love the tragedy of Homelander sitting inert in his penthouse unsure of what to do with himself in the quiet of a freedom that isn't quite freedom, especially when he was still young and fresh out of the lab.
however—and i've addressed this before—Homelander is a nerd. he has a lot of obscure trivia rattling around in his brain, and i think it's very likely, if not outright canon, that he's actually quite well read. especially regarding history.
it definitely started with his education from Vought, but imo history is something he took an independent interest in. i joke a lot about his penthouse being ugly and looking like the Smithsonian, but it makes total sense to me that it's the kind of thing he would take comfort in. he probably dreamed of visiting museums when he was still living in the lab.
he's also FULL of pop culture references (albeit dated ones) so we know he likely watches/watched a fair amount of tv, especially the news.
while i do agree that Homelander behaves more like a tool or a weapon than a person, he's also determined to be a useful tool. he initiates schemes in s1, he wants input on his image and within the company, he has goals and ideals. he's fighting desperately against the perception that he's no more than a "pretty face" who's just saying his lines ("Woop woop!") even in the early episodes of the first season.
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ghosts - batman: haunted knight
[ID: A multi panel sequence of Bruce Wayne as a child on Halloween. He's dressed up in a Mask of Zorro costume and is excitedly running down the stairs while holding two swords, calling out for his mother happily. He tells her that he's ready to go trick or treating. Martha Wayne has her hand on his shoulder and is smiling as she tells him, “your costume looks great!” Bruce replies, “Thanks, I made it myself. Alfred sorta helped. Is dad home yet?” Martha draws her hand back hesitantly and says his name. Bruce already knows that that means there's bad news. He tells her, “don't tell me,” before she continues and says his father called. Bruce has his head down, angrily finishing her sentence, “he's gotta work late!” He looks out the window as if his father will appear and says, “It's not fair! He promised he would take me trick or treating!” Martha soothes that she knows as Bruce repeats, “he promised,” to himself disappointedly. She tells him, “But there was an emergency,” which makes Bruce snap, “There's always some emergency!”
Bruce continues to stand in front of the window as Martha looks at him. Bruce announces, “I'm gonna wait for him. Even if it takes all night!” as he tensely clenches the handle of his sword. Martha reaches out for him sadly and suggests, “Bruce, I could take you out myself. Or, we can call some of the other children at school and go out with them.” Bruce, as an adult, somberly says off panel that, “she doesn't know...” as his kid self stares out the window still. His hat casting a small shadow on his face as he tells her, “There are no other kids to call. I have no friends at school.” Martha says his name again but doesn't know how to comfort him. Instead, she just silently places a hand on his shoulder. We see a silhouette from far away of her standing next to him as Bruce waits for his father to eventually come home. END ID]
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Just another drop in the ocean
Just another ghost that they can’t see
Wondering if anybody noticed
It’s pretty obvious to me
Woah, I wanna run run run, wanna run run run before the storm swallows me
Just another drop in the ocean
I’m underwater tryna breathe
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I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.
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so i was shooting the shit with the girlies in the group chat earlier and we were talking about the great outdoors, which, of course, are great to everyone...EXCEPT JERSEYKYLE who is basically a spoiled brat and pampered house cat and the only thing he thinks would be great about the outdoors...is if one of them would Fucking OPEN and take him back inside to civilization, cable tv and air conditioning.
like i think in the future when j.k. is working his full-time guidance counsellor job ( mr. bro, you are everything to me, baby ) they coerce him ( probably with pastries, paid vacation time and peer pressure ) into chaperoning the 5th grade weekend overnight camping fieldtrip, which ravenstanley marsh, of course, tells him is a great idea and it’d be fun to be out in the forest....It Was NAUGHT.
i am picturing him in like the big puffy orange jacket and like the grown up version of the green ushanka/ear muffs, shivering, snifflin, shrieking, crying about bears or red, blotchy, completely sunburned, totally bugging about bugs, tear-gassing everything with insecticide,
ready to End It All...
meanwhile future ravenstan, who i like to think went back to school, minored in wildlife, became an badass emergency travel veterinarian, is constantly on the move and on location ( and by that i mean like srsly impoverished third world countries, the amazon rainforest, rural new zealand where they desperately need vets, australia with all the shit that can fkn Kill You, buttfuck -40 siberia saving the polar bears )
working with non-profit wildlife protection and conservation efforts, has a little squad of hyper-vigilant zoomanitarian search and rescue emergency animal doctors that specifically head to dangerous places doing intense emt roadside surgeries, goth boy apothecary hot boy shit, foraging for supplies, making life-saving medicine out of tiny mushrooms and pieces of tree bark, running through fields with possible landmines in it to save endangered species, going full emo indistana jones adventuring and saving the world as captain stanet in no mans land w/ all his tattoos and piercings ( hero KING! )
...just pointing and laughing at teacher yersey when he finally gets thirty min of service on the helicopter flying out of snake island, brazil having nearly escaped having his flesh melted off by pit vipers doing important smart boy science research on different poisons and his fiancé calls him bc he got a bug bite and he thinks he's Cooked.
live laugh love ravesey style, everybody.
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he's ... insane, probably. definitely. he's grown used to the stares he gets, disdain and shock alike. they try to hide it more, when fires itself is present : but he doesn't really care, either way. they'd look at him that way even if he weren't oft wrapped in its arms. he is a caitiff, after all.
"wait, mr fires." he scrambles, careful not to drop anything he'd been working on unceremoniously as he reaches out to it, grabs it by its cloak. its neddies bristle, and it is his identity alone that spares him. his fingers dig into the fabric. "are you ... are you available? right now?" adrien shouldn't be. it's the middle of his shift. that, alone, is quite strange for him. this is nerve-wracking, when an entire factory of workers is boring their eyes into him. how could anyone stand so tall accosting a master among the public, like this? "i'd ... i'd like you to be."
@londonfallen / :)
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so one character got to learn how to live again, how to reenter society after traumatizing event that will forever impact his life, got to heal and rebuild his relationship with his family even estranged father, reconnected with his old friends and was able to create reliable support system of people that also grew throughout this healing process and now can understand him more and be there for him, got to graduate and start his own business and now can even give inspirational speeches to help others
and the other one had to leave two closest people to him that were his only support after his family death bc 'friends' he had before weren't type of people worth reconnecting with, move out of his country abandoning everything he knew his whole life just to * checks notes * start a job he didn't really want and the main reason he needed higher pay was to establish financial stability for one of two people who he had to leave and that no longer wanted to be with him
okay yea okay sure both cases are about personal 'growth'
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i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.
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