#and chay is right: it wouldn't be a choice at all

[the-cookie-of-doom]

[Catching Kim on the walk of shame back to his apartment after his drunken one night stand with Chay]

Tankhun catches on immediately to Kim’s weird vibes. 

“Did he force you?”

“What? No.” Kim doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Chay could never force him into anything, let alone sex. Kims only regret about last night—the best night of his life—is that he barely remembers it. His one chance with the boy he loves, and all he has are vague flashes and impressions, promising a night very much worth remembering. “I’m fine, Khun. Just… just tired.”

“Hmph. Be careful, little Kim, I sense you’re playing with fire.”

“It isn’t going to happen again.”

Khun doesn’t look convinced. But he doesn’t push the matter, throwing his scarf over his shoulder with a haughty sigh and stalking away, his entourage in tow. 

—

[Khun confronts Chay over the incident.]

“Be careful with him, he’s very sensitive, you know.”

“Who is?” Chay asks, bewildered at the sudden subject change. 

“You know who. He feels things very deeply, as much as he pretends he’s as soulless as the rest of us.” Tankhun points a strict finger at Chay. “Don’t hurt him. I adore you both. Don’t make me choose between my darlings, yes?” 

Chay nods dumbly. He doesn’t think it would be much of a choice, but he doesn’t say as much. 

[no1heyyyyyyyy]

Sevika's tastes

Sevika is an old lady and she just wants to be left alone. She likes to look good but when it comes to clothes, Miss thing just doesn’t care that much. She always has practicality in mind. So, no dresses, nothing flowy, has to have natural fabrics so that her skin can breathe, and she requires that things are comfortable. Her shoes are always made for hardware with a strong sole and often reinforced. In the modern world, I see her working in metal working (specifically welding), so she has to have clothes that are multipurpose. Though, if she was forced to wear anything really nice, it would be a simple well-cut blazer and a button down with jeans or slacks that conform to her legs nicely. She prefers earthy colors, nothing too flashy. I think she’d really appreciate a nice dark green, or perhaps brown. I also feel that she would enjoy a nice flannel regularly.

With food, I’m afraid her palette is as unrefined as her clothing choices. She genuinely does not care what she eats, though she really likes chicken- loves hot wings, spicy food is her love. But, her comfort food will always be the food native to what part of India her family is from. I don’t think she’s the best cook, but she has a few family recipes that she knows so well (aloo gobi, chai, samosa, tikka masala, saag paneer). And, I think that on nights where she’s feeling really sad or lonely she always craves those foods. She’d love to cook with or for her partner, it’d be the best way to get to know her honestly. Because it allows for her to show vulnerability through actions and without words. She loves to take care of people and I think in modern times she’d mother her friends just a bit, always making sure they’re eating well, drinking their water, and sleeping right (if not she’ll give them some chai). She doesn’t eat beef or dark meats in general, and she isn’t the biggest fan of seafood or turkey. So, she sticks with her chicken and her paneer. She’ll eat tofu but it needs to be in curry or something similar.

This woman would love 80s hair metal, music is something that I genuinely believe she’d love so much. She’d play drums as a teenager, dead set on becoming the drummer of the next Metallica. She’d also love the old school heavy metal bands, Iron Maiden, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Pantera. She’d love them all. I think she’d like some old school 90s rap too, but none of the new-age mumble rap that’s going on. She wouldn’t really like Taylor Swift’s music, just because it didn’t vibe with her, but she respected Taylor’s ability to get a bag. She has had a huge crush on Adele ever since she heard the album 25 when it came out. She liked some of her music, but thought Adele was drop dead gorgeous and all mature and soulful and shit, hit her in the feels and made her whipped for this woman she didn’t even know.

For movies she loves shitty 80s slasher horror, nothing that makes her think. She’d sit back in her old recliner in her pajamas and house slippers whilst watching Slumber Party Massacre for the third time, and then put on Golden Girls because she feels that Dorothy Zbornak is her spirit animal. She likes a good sitcom too and a ridiculous drama (she loves Desperate Housewives), she likes the camp, the over the top acting and dumb plots, it makes her laugh and feel care free in a way she hasn’t been in a long time. She just wants to curl up with her pets (she would have many) and watch teen-based tv shows that revolve around crime or secrets (Pretty Little Liars, Riverdale, Vampire Diaries, even Buffy etc.). She likes how bad they are, but she gets so invested it’s ridiculous.

For personal scents she’d like more woody, alluring scents that are also kind of sweet. Think Amber by Rag n’ Bone (it smells so good), she doesn’t spray much, just a spritz, it wafts around her just slightly, just enough for women to fall at her feet. Her individual smell wouldn't be overpowering but it would definitely be clear. It’s grounding and soothing. Her sweat stinks though, every time she comes back from the gym, she goes straight to the showers because her own dogs don’t want to come near her b.o.

In general, Sevika is an old woman who couldn’t give less of a shit. She wants to be left alone with her life and her people and chill. Which is why, I feel like she isn’t that opinionated on much unless it’s boundaries or causes she cares about. She just doesn’t have the energy to be bothered with trivial things like which movie to choose for the night, or which restaurant to go to. She is tired and all she wants to do is eat good food with her partner and her pets in a little cottage in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t like neighbors and she doesn’t like people in her business. She doesn’t need a perfect life, just one that’s hers.

for whatever reason the letters are being weird, it is killing me. Please ignore it.

[snickerdoodlles]

Loved your answer to the: "How would you rank the Theeranyakapuls in terms of clinginess?" ask. Can we have Kittisawats as well please?

(prev) (and ❤❤!!)

if the theerapanyakuls are "everything i've let go of has claw marks" boys, the kittisawats are "i will cling until it shatters in my grip"

Porsche: man does not let anything go except grudges. the only reason why he doesn't hold grudges is because he's too busy trying to hold onto EVERYTHING ELSE. Vegas is shooting him but Porsche refuses to lose a friend. Kinn fucks up crossing lines but Porsche won't let go of his cute smile. absolutely never would've taken up Kinn's demand he runs away because it'd mean letting Kinn go. bows to mafia recruitment before giving up his childhood home. Porsche is still holding onto a promise he made to his mother when he was like six years old max. i maintain the only reason why Porsche tells Arthee to go away is because he was already negotiating his mafia contract in his head and couldn't risk anything on Chay's safety because he knew he wouldn't be around, he never would've let Arthee just walk out of their life without those special circumstances. honestly this is such a large part of why Kinn and Porsche work together so perfectly, neither of them ever want to let go of their people and they collect people under their umbrellas at a downright alarming rate.

Chay: also clings to things until they shatter except he is extremely choosy in what he clings to. he has to be, he doesn't have a choice given how hard he loves and how little he has. as furious as he is with Porsche leaving him to join the mafia, he will bow and accept all of Porsche's choices so he can keep his brother. there's no other choice to him really. Chay's already shown he's willing to give up everything else for Porsche, from their home to his dreams to their uncle, and he can't have already drawn that line and then give up Porsche too right after he got him back. he clings to Kim just as hard until Kim shatters it-- i will always maintain Chay approaching Kim after the mafia reveal was just to confirm if he was reading Kim's feelings correctly (he was). Chay would've accepted the mafia and the scheming in a heartbeat so long as Kim's feelings for him were real (they were). Kim walks away from him then, but even then, that isn't what shatters them-- when Kim interrupts him at the club, Chay lets Kim pull him away. he is more than willing to hear Kim out then, he just wants to know if Kim cares (he does). except instead of explaining himself when Chay demands an explanation, Kim says "fine, i'll stay out of your business from now on." that's when Chay gives up Kim, because Kim keeps showing that he cares but claiming the opposite, and Chay can't hold onto someone to his typical degree of sacrifice if he doesn't think they'll stay in the end. that's why he blocks Kim. that's why "why don't you stay" is the perfect apology-- the song that first brought them together, the song they worked on together, the song where Kim lays himself bare to say "i have nothing to offer, i can't drag you into my mess, i desperately want you to be here with me anyways." of course that would reach Chay, who's only wish in life is that his two people stay with him through hell and fire and let him take care of them as much they take care of him. of course that'd open the door back up with Chay, who just wants Kim to explain how he cares and stay.

the kittisawats' clinginess is actually the heart of one of my most favorite kp story concepts ever, which is pushing the mafia aspect to the point where it shatters something in Chay and he has to leave. because Chay will give up so much to stay with Porsche. if he's pushed to the point where he leaves Porsche, either Chay has Kim to fall back on or Chay has nothing, and both options are so much fun for different reasons. and then for Porsche...oh my god, Porsche. Porsche holds onto everything, but his top priority is still Chay. a large part of why he can hold onto everything else is because Chay works so hard to make himself okay and hold Porsche back, so having Chay hit a point where he can't would destabilize Porsche so bad. sure, he has everything else, but what does that matter if he doesn't have Chay? Porsche and Chay are so tightly intertwined and so desperately clingy in the same way that even just straining their relationship brings all this out. "what happens when you can no longer hold onto the person you'd give up everything for?" is a delightfully crunchy story question and so good for these two especially ❤

[greyyson-but-no]

PEACE: death family

just something I felt like writing, this is my headcannon for the end of death family. it just felt most calming for me, the perfect end. it's very long, 1.4K words I think, it's also been a while since I posted writing too. hope you all enjoy. rip death family - how ironic lmao

As the children fell asleep, curled up beside their father that had spent the past few hours apologising over and over again, they could feel her coming. Chayanne felt her presence first, the warmth, the calm that washed over him. Just a second later the same safety settled in Lullah's heart, too and they figured out who it was. There was no one else who had this sense of calmness, who made them feel as safe as this. It was immediately someone they could trust because the two had heard their father mention her name several times. Not as someone dangerous, but instead the most loving person they could ever come in contact with. In fact, Philza had stated that he loved this person more than anyone else, well, no one came above his children, but the point still stood tall. They knew she could be trusted.

Chayanne and Lullah's eyes fluttered open, and while they didn't know where they were, the black endless void that they stood in wasn't scaring them. At the end of wherever they were stood the most beautiful deity they had ever seen. Though her face was masked by a purple laced veil that hung from a large, black dia de muertos-esque hat, a warming smile curled into the deities lips from underneath. Lullah grabbed Chayanne's hand, smiling at the goddess that looked over them.

The Goddess of Death took a couple steps closer. "Oh, my dear children. I didn't expect it to be you two, not yet, at least." She spoke, her voice smooth and clear, and a comfort to Chayanne and Lullah as they went through something that no child should have to endure.

"You're-" Lullah was the first to speak, Chayanne too bewildered to neither understand nor process what was actually happening. "Are you Kristin? The Goddess of Death?"

The deity nodded. "Yes, my loves."

The younger one turned to the older, tugging on his hand and smiling. "Chay, it's okay. Dad told us about her, remember? She's nice, she's okay. Remember, Papa said that if he could no longer take care of us that she could." Lullah explained, Chayanne slowly piecing together what was happening.

"Our dad-"

The goddess cut Chayanne off. "I've known your father for a very long time, dear ones. You don't have to worry anymore."

Lullah dropped Chayanne's hands, moving closer to the goddess of death with a hope that somehow deep down, she knew was false. But it was worth the try anyway. "Is there any way we can see him again?" She knew what everything meant, she knew that they had- they had moved on.

"I can take you to see him but he won't be able to see you. You wouldn't be able to talk to him or communicate at all. Well, there might be leeway with the communication part but he won't be able to understand you or know that you're there." Kristin explained, moving her hands around to her back and clasping them there. "He's in a different plane of existence to you and us, right now. The most I can do is morph the two of you into crows. you'd be able to mix in with his murder as he lives his life."

Chayanne nodded, not knowing how to understand he would never be able to talk to his dad again. all those years, being brought up by him, the child being who he was because of philza, all that gone in all matter of minutes. No communication ever again. But then again, it was bound to happen. They always knew it would happen at some point. All they were were experiments, hatching into what they were supposed to be wasn't possible, passing on was the only option. Looking around, Chayanne weighed up his options, spending the rest of eternity with his sister and watching over their father as he continued with no acknowledgement of their existence or: nothingness.

There was truly only one correct choice. He looked over to Lullah. "I'll do it, if you do too, hermanita."

Lullah turned, eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

Chayanne shrugged, looking over at the Goddess of Death again. "I'd like to see dad, if I'm being honest, and it also means we can stick by each other's side."

The younger one nodded, taking Chayanne's hand again and turning towards the goddess, a large smile brimming on her face, nodding. "We want to see him again. If this is our option then it's the best afterlife i could have asked for. por favor, help us see our dad again."

"As you wish, children." And as she was about to morph them, she smiled, squinting to try and figure out if she had gotten it correct. "Actually, wait, I just remembered something."

The two children opened their eyes again. "What?" They both spoke in unison.

The Goddess grinned, kneeling down to be at the same height as the two children. "You met Rose, didn't you?" And when they both explained she had saved them several times over, Kristin nodded again, laughing a little. "That little demigoddess has a little trick up her sleeve, let me call her over here."

And so the Goddess of Death called over the one that ruled over nature in the world that Philza was from, and soon enough the comforting face of Rose stood beside the goddess, looking over to the two children with a solemn look etched on her face. While she hadn't been expecting them just yet either, the demigoddess understood what Kristin wanted from her. The two children didn't quite understand what was happening just yet, but they had two familiar faces in front of them and with the notion of seeing their dad again and knowing they would be able to stick together forever, they would be okay. They knew it. Soon enough, Chayanne and Lullah found themselves standing on an island, looking over a large, gorgeous area. There were hundreds and thousands of crows flying around the area, diving in and around the floating islands around the edge, cawing with a happiness that the children hadn't seen in anyone for a good while. Chayanne looked upwards, greeted with a large diamond sword, a cape wrapped around it that flowed daringly in the wind, never faltering, never having a risk of falling. Lullah spotted the quartz wall, broken up and cracked, floating up with the islands.

Then yet another crow came flying round, diving with an adrenaline unknown to them before, his wingspan being larger than ever before. His hat, green with white stripes, somehow not falling off even when he flew straight down. The old crow was holding moss, and just a second later he was down by the beach on the other side of the island they were standing on, placing it around. The children were too far to specify what he was actually doing, but they didn't care. That was their father, that was for sure. The same version of him they knew, but completely different. Had no knowledge of them, of ever having children, nor ever knowing Missa. He looked… happy. Not worried, not overwhelmed, just content.

The Goddess of Death took a step forward having been previously stood behind the two children, looking over her husband with a warm look. "He can't see us right now. Thanks to Rose, whenever the two of you choose, you can morph into crows, then he'll be able to see you. Lullah, you'll have little pink flowers mixed into your feathers, Chayanne, you'll have Missa's eyes. He'll be able to differentiate the two of you from the rest but he won't understand why."

Chayanne nodded. "It's better than never being able to see him again." and Lullah nodded in agreement.

And so, for as long as they wanted to, the two children could choose how they wanted to live. If they wanted to hear their father once more, all it took was for them to morph into crows, they would be able to fly to him and speak to him through the mouth of Brian. He wouldn't be able to recognise them, or understand why they were saying what they were, but it meant a lot for the children that he had heard their thoughts once more. It meant everything to them. If they simply wanted to relax, they flew up to Techno's memorial and while Lullah was reminded of the one she had built, she much preferred this one. The Death Siblings would sit on the cross-guard of the sword, watching over their father's world, finally understanding what he had been hiding from them all these months.

Eventually, Philza came to recognise their voices. He started to spot them within a whole murder of his crows. He still couldn't figure out why they were different or why his heart could have burst whenever he caught sight of them, but he soon enough came to terms with it. Whenever he saw them around, a larger smile curled into his lips, a sense of comfort washing over him at the sight of them both safe. Maybe he would never figure out why, but after a while, that didn't matter to Chayanne and Lullah.

They were safe and content, all three of them were. Peace, at long last.

[roetrolls]

Harlan’s not gonna do shit. I’ll believe it when I see it.

"Funny... I had much same thought about a degree in mortuary science. Quite an unusual choice, that one."

"But perhaps you're right. We'd hate to undo what progress little Zurven has made in allowing himself to return to the public eye, after all. The world would be much duller without those delightful little trinkets, wouldn't it?"

"Then again... Miss Kenshe did so enjoy my gift, didn't she? A well-earned congratulations for the dear, taking such phenomenal care of her own well-being. And so brave of her to continue doing so even after my lovely gesture."

"Oh, and here's a fun one, darling; you would be shocked to learn just how many caegars a month Mallum Pravus wastes on chain-store chai lattes."

[luckydragon10]

KinnPorsche Ep11 Lines of Power

You know the drill by now: I'm here to talk about lines of power, staging, and framing in KinnPorsche.

D: I'm a day late. Apologies. My power went out yesterday... which, as @antique-forvalaka pointed out to me, is pretty funny. Totally different line of power.

This post focuses mostly on the first sequences with Vegas, Pete, and Khun Kan (or however we feel like spelling his name today). I won't be showing anything graphic, but there's some camera angle work that is SO interesting that I gotta dive into extra detail.

I have a few fluffier images later to lighten up the post, though, I promise. 😉

More LoP posts: [Trailer] ... [Ep07] [Ep08] [Ep09 Part 1] [Ep09 Part 2] [Ep10] [Ep12]

Pay close attention to the camera tilts (aka the Dutch angles) throughout this scene. I can't even cover everything because there are sooo many shots and angles, but I'll call out my favorite bits.

The two pics above establish the tilts. Vegas's angle tilts left, and Pete's angle tilts right. Their angles are leaning away from each other, like the opposing poles of magnets.

Be careful how you watch the scene... sea sickness may occur. There's lots of tilting back and forth, and when the cuts are fast, I feel like I'm on a boat that's rocking with the waves, very discomfiting.

Then we get a disruptor coming in. Hello, Khun Kan (Kun, Gun, whoever the hell you are).

This shot is so severely tilted, and Daddy Scarfs-a-lot has a biiiiiig thick line of power at his back with that unobstructed column in the foreground. He stepped in, took control of the room, and is like a crushing power looming above both Vegas and Pete.

What do we have here? Vegas is the focus in this shot, and his angle changed. THIS. THIS GOT ME.

Vegas has gone from the one abusing to the one being abused. He's taken on Pete's tilt, going to the right.

I see what you did there. I SEE IT. And I am so impressed by this choice. 🤌

Khun Namechanger takes a deep breath, cools his emotions, and returns to practical decision-making. He brings the scene into an upright position for the moment. The vertical column to the right helps steady the rocking boat that is this entire scene (though only briefly).

After Papa Goatee leaves, Vegas resumes his left-tilt angle.

FIRST SHOT: Oh hey, look, the column is tilting left, so that screws up the tilts from the establishing shots, doesn't it?

NOPE.

In the top pic here, Pete's head serves as the right tilt. If the camera were also tilted the way it usually is for him, his head would practically be horizontal, which wouldn't be any good. So Pete's right tilt still remains in effect, only with his head.

SECOND SHOT: There we go, back to normal with the pillar leaning right. Pete's head in both shots? Parallel. SO PARALLEL. Holy crap.

This is so good it blows my mind. 🤯

If anyone decides to break down every single angle from theses early VP scenes, link me, please? I'd love to see it.

Tableaus! Beautiful tableaus once again! (I explain what a tableau is back in Ep 5 LoP.) These really look like they could be sets on a live theatre stage.

Mostly I want to say how much I appreciate what they've done with P'Chan here.

This demonstrates a great way to accomplish a lot without any dialogue, using the staging to tell a story.

In the first shot, P'Chan is off to the side. He isn't really necessary to this conversation. Then for the Porsche scene, not only is his gun out, but he's looming like an avenging angle.

Peak comedy.

This is my freebie for this post. I haven't gotten a freebie for ages.

It's pretty. I like it. I could stare for hours.

Oh, and there's a damn reflection again. This show drives me mad.

Tankhun is so big here, and Porchay is so smol.

Tankhun's size is emphasized in multiple ways:

Tankhun can't even fit in the frame — the top of his head is getting cut off, emphasizing his stature.

Tankhun is in the foreground, whereas Chay is in the mid-ground.

Tankhun's fluffy jacket more than doubles his width.

These details all add up to make Chay look even more child-like than usual, out of proportion to Tankhun. His smolness is perfect for a scene where Tankhun basically adopts Chay as another little brother.

In this scene, Kim finally (at long last) makes a big breakthrough in his investigation.

Check out the background! It's an open doorway, a direction, a way forward, even if it isn't the direction he expected his sleuthing would go.

///

More LoP posts: [Trailer] ... [Ep07] [Ep08] [Ep09 Part 1] [Ep09 Part 2] [Ep10] [Ep12]

For more great meta from folks across the KP Tumblr fandom, please visit the Damn Good KinnPorsche Meta doc.

[pbandjesse]

I had a really nice day off. I got to hang out with Jess and then hang out with James. This was a good day.

I got home last night and was up for a while. I took a shower and hung out on the bedroom floor for a bit. I would get in bed and put on a video and eventually fell asleep.

I woke up at 9 to a text from Jess that she woke up late. But she still thought she would be able to get to the meeting point at 1030. I wasnt in a rush so I told her not to worry and to just let me know.

I would get washed and dressed and felt so cute today. A good feeling. I had a little time and would vacuum the frog tank. It's fun to see the new froggies personalities come out. The one is so inquisitive and has a sweet little face. The other is a little more nervous but is quick to come out for food. It's very cute to see. Plus seeing omelet being way more active. It makes me happy.

I would switch purses. Which was my downfall. Because I forgot my entire wallet in my backpack purse. Oops. Jess would just pay for everything today and I had James venmo her. I felt so dumb when I realized when we were in the cafe. Not the worst mistake but still! Felt silly.

I wouldn't notice that for a while though. I left the house and put on a podcast and enjoyed the 45 minute drive. I would get stuck behind a truck and would change my ETA by a few minutes. But I still arrived at the meeting spot at 1030.

I parked right next to Jess! Who had just pulled in. I was so excited to see her. Big hugs and immediately talking talking talking.

We walked to the vintage cafe and it was a little busy but we sat down right away. The food wasn't the best. But the waitress was really nice. She wanted to know all about my tattoos. Me and Jess ordered egg dishes. And we talked about all our work dramas and stuff in our lives. It was great.

Jess went to sue the bathroom after we finished eating and this is where I realized I forgot my wallet and felt so bad. I apologized and she was like. It's fine! I still felt bad because it is so not like me. I did have my id and my emergency $20 bill in my phone case. So I wasn't completely without but man. It stressed me out.

We would leave there after paying and walked to the antique mall. This little town has so many antique stores. We would stop in a more curated vintage shop first but mostly just to look. We talked. I told her about some things that have been weighing on me lately. And we talked about our upcoming cruise. It was a lot of fun.

We got to the antique mall soon though and we had way to much luck. Jess would get a lot of really amazing pieces. Strawberry jars and a ceiling lamp, baskets, gifts, a blanket rack. So many more things! I was a little more particular and choosey. I did love finding things I already own. I just think that it is a really fun to see. We would even find two of my exact duck lid baking dish and so Jess would get one that matches mine! Amazing.

I would end up getting a wicker/ratton sconce for the stairwell, a solitaire diamond (fake) pendant necklace, a textured accordion wall rack, a glass lion, and a basket purse. And specifically the necklace and the purse are things I have been looking for online for a while now! So this was a lot of fun and I felt super good about my purchases.

I also just had a lot of fun looking at weird stuff. Joking with Jess. Having fun. Being silly. She kept finding bird stuff that she loved. I would tease her about spending to much money. It was all very silly and fun.

We would cut two of her choices to bring the total down a bit. But we still spent a good amount. But a steal for what we got. I was proud of us.

They would pack everything in boxes for us. And we would make two trips to get everything in the car. I gave Jess some clothes I had brought for her to try. And once we had gotten everything in the car we decided to go get drinks and go sit by the water.

We did get drinks. But we did not sit by the water. Jess got an iced mocha, I got an iced chai. And we walked towards the bay but the bench we found was right in the sun and it smelled like a dead animal down there. So instead we just walked around the block and back to the cars. We decided that we would go home now. A nice few hours together. It's never enough time but I'm just really glad we did this. Hopefully we will be able to do things more this summer.

I was pretty tired on my drive home. The sun and heat did take it out of me. But I got home safely. And brought my things inside.

I opened the backdoor for Sweetp and did some cleaning. I would take some breaks to lay around. But mostly I was just taking care of stuff around the house. I hung up the accordion rack in the bathroom. I put things away. I cleaned a little. I had the Roomba going. Ruby continues to try and clean the patio. I would go outside to fix the catio because the screen had come off a little. It was nice hair doing little chores.

I was going to start making jam but we didn't have enough sugar. So once James would get home we would go get more.

I would chill on the couch for a while. James would come home around 5. They would go take a shower. And I would gather myself. And soon we were out the door for our evening plans.

Our first stop was to go to Michael's. To buy beads that match each other's eyes. It's a trend on TikTok and I just think it's so sweet. Yesterday was our 6 year anniversary (we don't actually remember what day we officially decided we were dating so we just sat it's the first) so this was our small celebration. It was fun holding up different beads to try and match eachother. Getting the correct shade for James was tough. They have a little more green in their blue then you would think. But I am happy with the tones we chose for each other. We got stretchy string, paid, and we were off.

We went to target next. And absolutely should have gotten a cart but we just did our best to carry all of our things. We did a really good job sticking to the mental list we made. We absolutely should have written the list down. But I don't think we got anything but we could have more efficient.

We paid and went to the car. I had seen a broken chair in the parking lot and James would pick it up for me to add to sweetp's enclosure for climbing purposes. And then it was dinner time.

We went to five guys. The cashier complimented my hair. And we had our little dinner. It was nice. I was just really enjoying being with my James.

We went home and brought everything inside. I played with sweetp for a little bit pretty soon we were building our bracelets. We did struggle with the beads being a little small for the stretchy string. But we worked together to make our very cute bracelets. James had to restring mine when I didn't make it long enough to tie. And I would go find super glue to finish them. And I am just really happy with how they turned out.

I would make a little TikTok and James would finish some podcast editing. And once we were both finished our little tasks we would jump into making jam.

I crushed up all the berries and James would work on the adding in of sugars and mixing once it boiled. I hope it sets up well. We ended up with 7 jars!! I am hoping we can make thumbprint cookies this week. Maybe some other things like hand pies. The house smells really nice.

We have been hanging out in the couch since then. Just a little cuddling and watching videos. But James was getting really sleepy and they just went upstairs. I am going to join them soon.

We have the day off tomorrow. And no real plans. So James is going to make us crepes for breakfast and we are going to do house tasks. I'm excited to just have a nice day.

And I hope you do too. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[missycolorful]

Hey,

I was reading over your glass child chayanne posts. I was one of the people who posted after the fight between Chay and Lulah about it.

I agree with you,

Chayanne isn't as much of a glass child anymore.

The last stream was a good showcase for the growth of all of Death family (minus Missa who wasn't there)

When qPhil had to make that choice between Chay and Lulah, he only had that they were taken and their egg beds were gone. He didn't know they were asleep still. So if both were awake, who was going to struggle most. Chay who doesn’t have trauma (in qPhils mind) or Lulah a claustrophobic who has been abandoned a lot.

Lulah was the easy answer in his mind.

The way Tubbo was making poor taste jokes and comments afterwards probably didn't help / added fuel to the fire.

A former glass child crow.

hello! :D

exactly, you make great points all around. Chayanne showed signs of being a glass child in the past, esp. when he and Tallulah fought. But after Tallulah grew, the emotional impact of that didn't just go away, and coupled with everything else, it all weighs on him, but he has trouble expressing this to q!Phil. I hope Chayanne's trauma gets explored soon, he deserves more emotional moments.

and yeah, ultimately, phil's situation was one where any one decision wouldn't be easy, nor wouldn't've had everyone be happy and not attack q!Phil's character; kinda comes with the territory of being a crow, I guess.

I won't say much on the Tubbo part. but... yeah, people weren't upset when Phil initially made the decision; it was only when Tubbo poked the bear, where Phil's explanation was a bit more fumbly - either bc the kids were there and he wanted to be careful with his wording or cause Tubbo kept instigating. (tho tbh, if he really wanted to instigate further, he'd have snitched that Phil openly agreed that Chayanne's his favorite kid a month back. But Tubbo's brain is probably mush right now due to the Tubbathon, so I get it. Still lol)

[ghcstvalleychief]

So, I'm noticing this conversation being brought up again and I'm ready to talk about it briefly. I'm mostly seeing this argument from the lovely people over on Twitter but I think you guys wouldn't mind talking about it too. As always, you can check out my previous post on this topic here.

In what world do people still believe Vegas would make a good mafia boss? Because he makes evil, underhanded choices that undermine the family instead of actually benefiting the family? Vegas is out for Vegas. Vegas doesn't care about The Family, so why would he be the better choice here if he's outright said he doesn't care about the family? Vegas has proven time and time again that his main goal in life is to hurt and/or destroy Kinn. At this point, he's in a one-sided rivalry with Kinn because Kinn isn't even actively fighting him back and he's still winning like what this lovely person mentioned in this post.

His arrogance, envy, and inferiority complex is why he can't be a good leader. Those emotions blind him to the things he should be paying attention to. (And yes, I know you guys are holding onto the fact that Kinn 'forgot' Pete but beggars can't be choosers. Meaning - this happened to give some of you shippers what you want, so why complain?) But anyway, it's why his plan to ruin Kinn's reputation/life crashed & burned. He made Tawan fall in love with him but he didn't realize that Tawan was a loose cannon with his own irrational emotions. Tawan was so devoted to Vegas that he kidnapped Chay and that's what ruined the plan. It never even ran across his mind that Tawan would go rogue. His arrogance never even took that into consideration.

It made the entire plan implode because his lack of foresight came back to bite him in the ass and everything fell apart. Where is Vegas's second, third, and fourth plan? A good leader can think on his feet and has backup plans in case the original plan doesn't work. Vegas didn't do that. He had one plan and one plan only.

He was so arrogant that he truly believed that he could control his pawns but he failed to remember that everyone has their own motives. He fails to realize that he's not the smartest person in the room and you can't underestimate anyone just because you're arrogant enough to believe otherwise. Like I've stated previously, Vegas doesn’t know how to play chess. Just like he had his own agenda, so does literally everyone else. He played Tawan like a fiddle but Tawan got the last laugh because he completely ruined Vegas's plan and now everyone knows he's a traitor.

At this point, I'm not even sure how Vegas can come back from this because all of the dirty laundry has been pulled out into the street. His dad may protect him but ... his dad doesn't seem to care all that much about him to begin with, so who knows? But even now, I'm sure he thinks he can get to Kinn by torturing Pete. And with that, he's probably going to fumble that somehow too. It won't work.

The moral of the story is that Vegas will run The Family right into the ground. You don't have to like Kinn or support him in any way, but the canon facts are the canon facts. You can hate Kinn's guts all you want but the fact still remains. Kinn may not be doing as good of a job as some people may want, but there's no way in Hell Vegas could do a better job.

[santiagosilva]

[ chay suede, cis man, he/him ] - was that santiago severo da silva i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the thirty-three year old who has been in nightrest for his whole life on and off and works as a professional soccer player (usmnt defensive midfielder) has a reputation of being resilient, but also spiteful. they reside in low point & people in town usually associate them with early morning workouts, not being ready for big changes, muscle tape on legs, guilty pleasures, football chants & an unwillingness to forgive. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after them next.

trigger warning: divorce

BASICS

full name: santiago severo da silva

nickname: santi

date of birth: september 25, 1989

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him

occupation: professional soccer player

birthplace: nightrest, massachusetts

sexuality: heterosexual

height: 5′10″

BACKGROUND

he was born in nightrest to a big family. he was the second oldest and the second son. he had one older brother and two younger sisters, and they were all a really big, happy family

he looks back on his childhood very fondly because it was filled with a lot of happy memories with his family and his friends and he was incredibly close with his siblings too

when he was sixteen years old, his parents started fighting, and eventually they announced that they were getting a divorce

his mother wanted to move back to brazil, and though the choice was there, santi didn't want to leave his father and his siblings behind

their parents stated that they "fell out of love" and santi thought that was absolute bullshit. up until that point, he looked up to his parents with so much respect and love and he couldn't understand how people who claim to love each other so much could just suddenly not anymore

also imagine his betrayal when all the siblings said they were gonna stay, except for analu. santi liked to think he was really close with all of his siblings. he was close with his older brother because they were the only two guys, he was close with analu because she was the sibling that came right after him and they had the same zest for life, and he was close with the youngest because he felt protective over her

he thought they had an understanding that even though their parents are breaking up, the siblings will always, always be together so when analu came back during her junior year of high school, santi was incredibly cold with her. he was very curt with her, didn't really talk to her that much and that animosity stayed with him.

he knows it's mostly misdirected anger because he was more angry at their mom for leaving, but he figured he had enough anger to go around

santi's one true love had always been soccer (he calls it football) and he'd been playing that sport since he was a kid. it's one of the things he bonds over with his dad because they'd watch football games all the time (let's gooooo seleção canarinha)

he was the only freshman to have made it to the team back in high school, and he was also on a sports scholarship in uni

it didn't take long before he became a part of the usmnt as a striker, eventually becoming the team's captain

that was more than ten years ago, and he's no longer the player he used to be. he can't play the way he used to, he's not as fast as he used to be, and while his love for the sport is still as strong as it was, he knows it's time to throw in the towel

it's his last year and he decided he wouldn't renew his contract with the team, but a part of him knows that even if he wanted to renew it, they probably wouldn't sign him on which breaks his heart

so he's ending things on his own terms, but he also has not talked about it with literally anybody

PERSONALITY TRAITS

+ hard-working, resilient, disciplined

- closed off, stubborn, unforgiving

FUN FACTS

strong af #mommyissues

has only ever been in three serious relationships (one in high school, one in college, and one when he was just starting out being on the team) and the rest have just been flings

he wakes up very early. he's very disciplined when it comes to his training, even though it's not as rigorous as it used to be

loves to cook. he learned to do it from a young age because he wanted to make his own meal plan

for the most part, he doesn't really get into trouble. he's just kinda living his life, not really laying his problems onto everybody else, but is willing to listen to everybody

he doesn't have a plan for what comes after his last year but he figured that was a problem for future santi

definitely holds a lot of sadness still for the life he used to have like he achieved his dream which is what everybody talks about, but nobody really prepared him for what comes after

he's kind of a fuckboy but also not??? when he's in a relationship, he's very devoted, but when he's not looking for a relationship, then it would take a lot for him to actually settle down

he's extremely picky with everything - the people he gets into relationships with, his food, where he spends his money, where/what/who he spends his time on

channels his anger into the game but isn't opposed to getting into fights here and there

fluent in portuguese

still loves his siblings (except analu rip) so much and would do absolutely anything for them

came back home because there's a small break mid-season and also because he needs to look after his dad and he misses home but is also severely confused because he hasn't come back here since before the first body washed up on shore and suddenly, he came back to serial killers, an engagement party and his friend pregnant and he's literally like :pedropascal:

mostly just has absolutely no idea what's going on but is rolling with it

has been back for only three days!!

WANTED CONNECTIONS

his siblings!!

his ride or die

squad

ex-best friends

childhood friends who stayed friends

childhood friends who drifted apart

opposites attract

his high school ex (must be 32-34)

his college ex

his after college ex

fellow football fan (alliteration ftw)

friends with benefits

enemies

flings

family friends

[bisexualbard-writes]

Boss, I will level with you; I would read this same story from the point of view of any of the characters and eat it up EVERY SINGLE TIME! You have such an incredible way of showing how complex and broken these poor boys are and you treat them with such a way that their happy endings all feel earned and right. I applauded you and I’m so excited to see Kim’s epilogue

Hahaha, hearing that you think their endings feel earned is SUCH A NICE COMPLIMENT anon! My only goal the whole time I've been writing was to make sure their endings felt deserved. I had a feeling that if we got a season 2, it wouldn't give quite enough time and space for me to feel like their reconciliation was earned, especially seeing as we didn't really see enough of them getting together in the first place (i mean WHEN were those polaroids taken?? WE WERE ROBBED). So I decided that I was going to give them all the time and space to figure it out. Whenever I'm sitting down to write a character, I have to ask myself, "would the character in their current mental state do this? Has this been earned?" And most times the answer is yes, but sometimes the answer is no and then I have to scream and re-plot the entire fic 🤣 Thanks how Tankhun became Chay's self-defense teacher actually, and how the entire plot Chay and Porsche's explosive fighting came to be in Want and Need. Neither of those sub plots were planned!! Chay wasn't ready to trust Kim or forgive Porsche, but he still needed to be making momentum in gaining his own agency back, so I had to figure out a new plan. That's also why Kim had to go through hell in The Miserable Art for chapters 7 and 8, because I knew by the time Chay found out about his connection with Namphueng he was going to have to be basically ready to verbalize an apology and an I love you, and so it was a mad speedrun to get him from his first hookup with Chay to a place of emotional vulnerability. As for more POVs, I'm not even sure who's POV I would cover 🤣 I mean, I never even planned to do Kim's POV!! Porsche is the obvious choice, but I think a few oneshots from outsider POVs would be neat. I'd love to dig into what Kinn or Max or Fern have been seeing. Or maybe an Arm and Pol POV, since Arm is the only other person who knows about the OnlyFans and how Kim is stalking it, but also they're helping Tankhun train Chay. Oh no, I'm talking myself into it now 🤣🤣🤣

That said, I promise nothing anytime soon! I'm going to be marking the series as complete once Kim's epilogue drops, since I think some people are waiting for it to finish before they start. Anything else will just be a little bonus lol.

[squadrah]

headcanon - everybody's coffee order

For this one, I want you to imagine all of them going into the same Italian Starbucks or whatever. There is a team dynamic to this.

Gelato and Sorbet tend to go first; this is a matter of seniority as well as Gelato taking initiative and Sorbet naturally tagging along. Sorbet will observe customs and drink his coffee according to the time of day because he cares about appearances, but Gelato always asks for café corretto, and if they don't serve it, he orders an espresso and makes sure to wink at the barista and tell them not to worry because "I brought my own", allowing them a glimpse of his flask. Always waits until they sit down to actually add the alcohol.

They are usually followed by Prosciutto, who only ever tends to order espresso, but is willing to try different regional or international variants as long as they contain no milk (he can drink milk, but he chooses not to because it dilutes the flavor). Sometimes he also asks for a tumbler of ice on the side to eat after his drink.

Illuso comes next because he enjoys getting his drink as early as possible, and he always goes for a tall order of chai if the place offers it. If he cannot have that, he will pick something fairly mundane (like a macchiato), and then complain that it just doesn't measure up to chai. Always steals the others' complimentary packets of sugar.

Risotto is next, and he, too, orders coffee according to the time of day. He then carries it to their chosen table and waits for Formaggio, with whom they have an agreement that in public, Formaggio will order/ask for what Risotto really wants, while Risotto orders/asks for something normal that Formaggio will enjoy. Formaggio proceeds to order a tall caramel macchiato with a straight face, and when he arrives at the table, he waits for a moment to discreetly swap with Risotto, right under Prosciutto's nose because it's fun to watch him give a rancid side eye at this bullshit.

Melone dry-swallows his Lactaid while in line but in plain view of the barista, then proceeds to order something with a normal amount of milk in it with unwarranted yet unironic enthusiasm. Will always ask about available ingredients because he likes to experiment, and his choice orders are actually phenomenal.

Pesci likes to come right after Melone, because the latter will always tell him if there is a particular combination he recommends. Of the coffee drinkers on the team, Pesci drinks the least amount to mind his acid reflux, so he usually asks for a latté with whatever add-ins Melone recommended, or a frappuccino because he's used to icing himself as Prosciutto's protegé.

Ghiaccio tends to be last because he hates to be perceived, but even if he were aware that cross-ordering agreements were a thing, it wouldn't help him, because he is the only person on the team who doesn't drink anything with caffeine in it. Catch him always asking for mineral water because few places carry electrolites. Doesn't matter if it's cold or not, either, since he can take care of that with White Album.

[maestro-of-clockwork]

A chill went down Chaos' spine as she peered around the computer room, looking for any signs of her 'muse'. She'd figured that if he was typing up a storm that he'd be here, but she'd been proven wrong...and that made her even more nervous.

Letting out a shaky sigh to release the pressure in her mind, she exited the room and wandered into the den. She didn't know whether to be relieved or petrified to see him sitting in his favorite leather chair. He had a tea set already laid out, complimented with little pastries.

Antonio didn't seem to notice her at first, pinprick eyes scanning the pages of an untitled book. A journal, maybe?

'A book's a book, I guess,' she figured.

Chaos took cautious steps closer to the seat opposite him. She was almost there when he suddenly locked eyes with her, greeting her with a pleasant, professional kind of smile.

"Chaos dear!" came his equally genial greeting. "I'm thrilled that you decided to talk with me."

"Why don't you take a seat and have some tea, hm?" Antonio asked lightly, shutting the book and setting it aside, presumably to show her that the floor was hers.

The thought of his attention being solely on her gave her a horrible pit in her stomach as she sat down...at least the chair was comfy...

"Hey," she spoke, voice unstable and cautious, "is it okay if we skip all that and just talk now...?"

Antonio's voice took on something gentler as he poured her some tea, "Now, I told you that this isn't a confrontation, did I not? You needn't be so on edge..."

When he was finished, he leaned over a little, gingerly handing the cup over for her to take.

"N-no, no thanks," Chaos tried to be polite, at least, "I'm not thirsty, Tony-"

"Oh, please, I insist."

Chaos stared at the cup, trying to work out which would be the right choice to take: refuse it and make him angry? Or accept it and possibly be poisoned?

"Come now, I made one of your favorites! It might make you feel better."

Something about his voice plucked at her heartstrings; it was like he was a sweet old man trying to comfort someone he cared about...

Chaos decided to take it from Antonio, earning a wider, kinder smile from him, "Okay..."

Despite all of her senses screaming at her not to, she bit the bullet and took a drink.

Spiced chai...huh, he really did know her well.

"Is it to your liking~...?" he sweetly asked.

"Yeah, it's great," she admitted, the warmth of the tea actually making her relax a little. "I'm gonna be bummed out if you actually did poison it."

Antonio laughed gently at her remark, "Don't be silly. Poison would only interrupt our conversation, wouldn't it?"

"Heh, yeah, I guess..."

Chaos contemplated the dark liquid again before remembering the gravity of her actions during the magic!anon...she didn't even feel her face fall into regret.

"Now, what's the matter, dear...?"

All the things he'd written out on the asks scrolled through her mind, movie credits replaying the consequences of her mistakes. Chaos slowly put the teacup back onto the tray.

"Antonio, I-...I'm sorry. I thought maybe it was a cool way to explore your character more, and I thought you deserved it for the bad things you do..."

She finally looked up at him, "...but that was awful of me, to write you hurting so, so badly..."

Antonio returned her apology with silence, prompting Chaos to fill in the space.

"I won't do that again, okay? As bad as I hate you sometimes, I don't think you should hurt that way ever again."

Silence fell over the two once more, Chaos growing worried as Antonio's expression seemed unmoving, frozen in a neutral smile. He was disturbingly still until he suddenly spoke up again.

"I think...I will need some time to think about your apology. A few days, perhaps..."

Chaos nodded in understanding, "I get it..."

"Well, um," she rose from the chair, "whatever you choose...tell me, okay?"

Antonio's smile cracked and twisted.

"I never said that you were allowed to leave."

She tried to will herself away, but-

Nᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ.

Her face went pale.

"Sit, please," he told her.

She bolted away

She ran to

She tri

Sʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ᴀs sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴛᴏʟᴅ.

Chaos struggled hard to free herself of the imaginary bonds that glued her to the chair...what was happening?!

"Do you remember when I wrote that I 'guide your hand' when you write me...?"

Her blood froze.

"Well," he paused to take a drink, enjoying this newfound control, "I've found out how to extend it past mere dialogue and actions...I assure you, I'll use it wisely..."

Savoring the look of sheer terror on the woman's face, his smile grew toothier.

"I'll make your stay here agonizing."

[maimeelai]

ANSWERED. // @indigodreames ft. chai i'm drawn to you. i've been drawn to you since the day we met. ( chai @ max )

often max had this intrusive fear that chai was all settled and living his quiet life, and then max brought in the tempestuous mess to complicate things. he was well convinced that he FELL first, and that he could have prevented it by not approaching the man in the park that day and he wouldn't be in such a DREADFUL situation today as an aftermath of making the hard choices.

"that's totally a LIE, but i'll take it." max still humoured before pulling the other closer for a sweet kiss. "didn't i approach you in that park first because you're looking so incredibly hot, i can't just let you walk away without having your number?"

the difficulties that came next were inevitable. he knew the CONSEQUENCES of his actions and it will take time before his family warmed back up to him. max couldn't blame them after abandoning a role that he'd been ardently fashioned to assume all his life. the radio silence when he sent out a dinner invitation for his upcoming birthday was enough testament that they really WEREN'T taking it well.

still, max had NO REGRETS. not when chai was right next to him, soothing him with those sweet words and encasing him close in those arms like this. not when there was a tender promise of spending a wonderful lifetime with him and emmy. he has a new family now, and he was happy with the life he had chosen.

"diao, is that why you ASKED me to drop by your cafe the day we first met? i thought you were just REALLY enthusiastic about your business."

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

1 - Are you interested in any reality TV shows? I really enjoy watching those shows when I am with friends but by myself not really.

2 - When was the last time you made plans with someone? What were you going to do with that person? Mother has booked a trip to Highclere Castle where Downton Abbey is set in August!

3 - How often (if ever) do you use moisturiser? Day and night

4 - Name five things you can touch from where you’re sitting right now: Candle, water bottle, vinyl records, scarf and hairspray  

5 - Have you had any of your wisdom teeth removed? What was the reason? (eg. infection, impaction, lack of space). I haven't

6 - What was the reason for your last hospital visit? I got a covid booster jab!

7 - Where was the last place you had an itch? legs!

8 - If you’re on a long car journey, would you rather drive or be the passenger? passenger but I will ofc do my fair share of the driving if needed

9 - What’s the earliest time you’ve had to wake up for work? What about the latest time you’ve clocked off for the day? For my current work 7am but I've had jobs where 6am starts meant getting up at 5am

10 - Do you use a laptop, desktop, tablet or phone to take your surveys? laptop since so much easier and my finger cramps up if I use my phone

11 - Are you fussy when it comes to how your surveys are formatted on your blog? Not at all

12 - How old were you when you first got internet access at home? Was it broadband or did you have dial-up first?  Since I can remember

13 - When was the last time you painted your nails? myself? last year probs but it never lasts

14 - What’s your typical order when you go to Starbucks (or wherever your favourite coffee shop is)? chai latte or matcha latte usually from pret

15 - What’s your favourite thing to have on toast? strawberry jam

16 - Do you have any debt? If so, are you on top of paying it all back? student loans and no

17 - What was the last thing you purchased with a credit card? Sainsburys shop

18 - Have you been to college/university? If so, has your degree been useful to you or was it a bit of a waste of money? YES, undergrad in English, converted that to a graduate diploma in law for a year and just finished the legal practice course masters. For what I want to go into, it has not been a waste of money and it was the right path for me.

19 - How often do you travel by public transport? For the past year, never, but when I move back to the city I will use it often.

20 - Do you have an instagram account? If so, how often do you post on there and what kind of things do you post? I do and I really don't post often at all maybe once a year.

21 - Are you close to your extended family? Do you wish you were closer? I'm fine with it tbh

22 - Do you prefer to give your pets human names or not? I wouldn't be opposed to it but it won't be my first choice

23 - Do you like having ice in your drinks? Yes

24 - When was the last time you went to a BBQ restaurant? Too long ago

25 - When was the last time you re-arranged the furniture? Is this something you like to do often? I used to love rearranging my room and showing my parents but haven't done it for a while.  

26 - Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? Would you know how to use one without reading the instructions? I have not and probs not maybe I should youtube it to be prepared.

27 - What’s the worst thing you’ve ever had to deal with at your job? Client's that are unhappy although my most recent company haven't had too many occasions of unhappy clients.

28 - What was the last thing you used your mobile phone for? listened to a voice note my friend sent me

29 - Did you used to play The Sims? What version or expansion pack was your favourite one to play? YES specifically Sims Castaway on PSP

30 - What was the last thing you used a lighter for? Lighting a candle

[parfumieren]

Ambre Russe (Parfum d'Empire)

There is such a State in Eternity: it is composed of the Innocent civilised Heathen and the Uncivilised Savage, who, having not the Law, do by Nature the things contain'd in the Law. This State appears like a Female crown'd with stars, driven into the Wilderness; she has the Moon under her Feet. --William Blake

I once knew a girl -- let's call her Eve -- who was obsessed with sorting her friends into "types". She had an Athlete, a Scholar, an Incurable Romantic, a Siren. I was her Crazy Artist. I mean, I am an artist, but Eve wanted me to be crazy, too. She felt very strongly that everyone ought to stick to the script.

One year, Eve bought her friends perfume, matching each gal to the scent that best summarized her assigned "type". The Athlete received a fresh ocean-breeze fragrance. The Incurable Romantic received a dewy spring floral, while bold jasmine went to the Siren. The Scholar found herself holding a bottle of prim Victorian rose scent. Perfect, right? Everyone in their right place.

But the Athlete was a closet romantic. The Siren was secretly rather prim. The Scholar had a wild side, and the Romantic-- well, she liked the beach. Rumors abounded of a clandestine midnight perfume-swap-- but I wasn't in on that plot. I alone liked the perfume Eve had bought for me.

She positively loathed it.

She'd been with me when I purchased my very first amber. I found it at Now & Then, a celebrated head shop which sprawled along the banks of the Delaware a stone's throw from the New Hope Bridge. There amid the Indian-print wall hangings and cases of blown-glass one-hitters, fate waited for me in the form of an artful blend of benzoin, labdanum, vetiver and vanilla, as ancient as the Goddess herself.

There is something at once subversive and ceremonial about the act of anointing one's own body with fragrant oils. It's profane. It's sacred. It conveys an ideology, marks one as a metaphysical outlaw. And that affront to decency - committed in innocence, which made it somehow even worse - was precisely what Eve feared and despised. She would not follow me into Now & Then that day, opting instead to scowl out on the sidewalk while I wallowed in the inner sanctum. When I emerged, she recoiled from my outheld wrist as if it was daubed with shit.

That's what made her offering of amber so extraordinary. For once - just ONCE - in our lives, she acknowledged that I would remain myself no matter what box she put me in or tried to take me out of. And that's why I refused to trade her gift away.

There have been many ambers since, ranging from the mediocre to the extraordinary. Ambre Russe is one of the latter-- a sweet, rich, opulent amber with the density of a Medjool date and the elegance of fine pipe tobacco. I wouldn't call it shy, or its manners at all refined. So powerful is Ambre Russe that it fairly leaps out of the bottle before you've even gotten the cap off. Radiant and imperious, it announces itself basso profundo and scatters some bad-ass sillage around to show you who's in charge. It lasts just this short of forever on skin, and just when you think it's taking up permanent residence, it transforms into an unanticipated (and scrumptious) cinnamon-chai tea drydown. If I had to marry one amber for life (and I hope I'm never forced to make that choice!) it might well be this one. I adore its defiance, its up-against-the-wall attitude, and the core of melting tenderness it hides.

I'd venture to guess that Eve would run screaming from Ambre Russe as if chased by the Cossack hordes. But no matter: to each his own philosophy. An old proverb states, "Keep at three paces distant the man who dislikes music, bread, or the laugh of a child." For me, the true acid test is the scent of amber. I simply cannot trust the person whose heart it cannot lift.

Scent Elements: Cinnamon, coriander, tea, frankincense, amber, leather