#and creating new and different problems
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I don't think I'm convinced that progressive leadership in cities has been uniquely bad and is to blame for things like rising homelessness, overflowing shelters, encampments, etc specifically because in MA it's a combination of out of control housing costs, which is a long term problem that local government has limited capacity to address, pandemic eviction protection expiring, and a sudden overwhelming influx of people courtesy of Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott sending people here. Like yeah our legislature is a whole situation and our leaders could do better, but that shit isn't a sign that progressive policies don't work. It's a sign that rising housing costs and the weaponization of immigrants can easily overwhelm a state's social safety net.
#to be clear im not saying that progressive policy is always effective#there are many examples of well intentioned things#turning out very poorly#and creating new and different problems#see: public housing developments#or early 19thc criminal reform. which was trying to address#the horrors of public execution and public corporal punishment#something being morally right doesn't make it good policy#but it also doesn't make it bad policy yknow
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Trying to crack Dominion strategy with augments feels a bit like trying to out-wrestle a Vulcan.
Fantastic idea to have your five (5) augments working on this problem! Now let’s just check if the Dominion has dabbled in any gene engineering and… oh. Oh no.
#star trek shitposting#every time a founder so much as stubs their toe#they create an entirely new civilization of miserable gene engineered strategists#who can never feel joy and subsist on the pure light of statistics#this is their Only problem-solving method#you will not beat them at this game#anyway something something Take Me Out To The Holosuite as a metaphor for how you beat the Dominion#not with ships and strategy but by doing something completely different#make them question why they even started this fight in the first place#star trek#ds9#ds9 statistical probabilities#jack pack#augments#the founders#the dominion#vorta#jem’hadar
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#people very much want to blame readers for a lack of engagement with fic these days but frankly i think this is.... incorrect#we need to be real about WHAT ao3 is#it is an archive#it is not a space that is particularly conducive to social engagement#the most collaborative experiences i ever had around fic happened on livejournal#it was not on ff.net#like i agree that there is a depressing drop off in like...idk the idea of the social acceptability of leaving comments#and a far more pronounced divide between readers and authors#but this isn't happening bc readers suck now and they're selfish and entitled which frankly is how many posts opining about this issue sound#it's not like lurking or sorting by complete works only is NEW#these are things that have always happened#what has CHANGED imo is that the spaces where fic happens and the spaces where fandom happens are now very different#and isolated from one another#and we can blame readers for not bridging that gap all we want but it's not gonna fix it#especially since we know how well shaming people for Not Enjoying Things Correctly tends to go#like i don't have an answer to this problem but i think this ''you're entitled!'' ''no YOU'RE entitled'' back and forth#between writers and readers certainly isn't going to fix anything either#it's only going to push those two groups further away from each other#to my mind what we need is a) a platform more conducive to collabortive fic writing and fandom interaction#(think LJ or old dedicated fandom message boards)#and b) a cultural shift within fandom spaces away from this idea that authors are like... untouchable or whatever#bc from what I have observed authors who DON'T have this issue are ones who started creating fanworks from within a pre-existing friendgroup#a pre-existing readership really#and these little subsets then grow into larger readerships#the problem is how partioned all these group start#and that i think is a byproduct of an overall more hostile fandom space where people feel like they can't speak or create openly#without being in danger of running afoul of some fandom scold and their lackeys#like fandom has never lacked for drama but i do think in a post-tumblr/twitter fandom space we can all agree that shit jas gotten Buckwild#*gestures at how bg3 fandom recently speedran fandom insanity primarily on twitter*#shit is different these days and blaming each other for that is missing the forest for the trees
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alright so now that we’ve gotten some actual crumbs, it feels like it’s a good time to lay out my prediction for what da4 is going to look like. writing this in a letter and mailing it to myself
we are part of an underground organization formed from the ruins of the inquisition to stop solas from ending the world
meanwhile the wardens have been researching the blight/the location of the archdemons and discover some secret about the location of the black city/what is actually contained in it
we’re supposed to be shocked at the reveal that the evanuris are trapped in the black city and the maker doesn’t exist
the ancient elves were in control of some crazy mutating technology (like in hormak) and that was the original source of the darkspawn. the whole thing about them being from the deep roads and a dwarf concern was actually just a red herring, they’re just underground because they’re powered by lyrium and this has ALSO been an elf thing the whole time :)
anyway, now we need to Double Make Sure the veil stays up because the evanuris have something even worse cooking up in the black city and we need to prevent them from unleashing a super blight and destroying all life, and our job is to convince solas to give up, not because we disagree with his plan but because his actions will have unintended consequences. even if he doesn’t care about everyone else and wants to rebuild the world, he won’t even be able to do THAT because the super blight will kill elves too. so although we WERE enemies we will have to band together to defeat the greater threat etc. it will be optional to recruit him as an ally/advisor, or you can just fight him directly and take control of his forces
we will have to cross into the fade AGAIN and storm the black city directly to put a stop to whatever’s going on in there
#i feel fairly confident about this but i hope i’m wrong honestly.#i’m a little disappointed that it’s probably going to turn out to be ‘elves are the most important people and also the cause of everything#and their lore is the Correct one’#i hope to god that they give you the option to fight him and don’t just force you to make nice for no reason lol#ESPECIALLY if this is a new protagonist with no history with him#it’s pretty much the same formula as inquisition and origins. two-step problem where the thing we initially set out to fix turns out to be#the least of our problems and we’ll need to put aside our differences for the greater good#it will probably also come out that the tevinter gods are also an elf thing. like how flemythal can turn into a dragon#and then the archdemons were the original hormak style experiment. or something#and we won’t have an explanation for the maker bc that’s just humans being silly. but see everything has a neat scientific explanation :)#or maybe the maker is like. elgarnan in disguise lmal#i am perhaps being a little ungenerous but also. i feeel in my gut that this is what they’re planning#mine#dragon age#da4#ghilannain feels like a possible candidate bc of the lore abt how she created halla. but there was that trailer with a mans voice#so it will probably be elgarnan because he’s the head of the pantheon especially now that mythal is gone#GOD i hope that comes up#they’re pulling so much from trespasser. a dlc that wasn’t even the main game and lots of people may not have played#they’d better reference the stinger ending of the actual game and give some resolution to that#maybe it’s going to be like. solas’s plan to take care of the evanuris when the veil comes down is to just absorb them#but we need to convince him that they’ve had time to set other contingencies up so even that won’t stop whatever they’ve started
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Since I'd been talking a lot about JP Vesperia (primarily Yuri and Flynn and the heavy changes that surround them, and because I'm highly passionate about them in their original context), I wanted to compile some more jarring if not outright glaring mistakes in the localization (or what were likely intentional changes, because I can't look at some of these and just call them "mistakes"). I'm not going to mention every little change throughout the game, so smaller things I'll mostly be leaving out (namely things that don't really affect characters or context). I primarily just wanted to give some insight on some of the bigger parts.
Some of the changes seem to have been mistakes in translation itself (not just localization, but misunderstanding what was being said in general; such as, there's an instance I mention of that between Patty and Don), so I've got some mentions hanging around for clarity purposes as some scenes didn't make much sense, likely because of this.
Vocal tone with Yuri was the most prominent issue that got me making this, and the context that was changed being right after if not equally next to that (most often also with Yuri but also Flynn).
This is something that has been bothering me for a while and I've been wanting to share this stuff with people interested in seeing the game with its original context. Generally speaking, the plot and story themselves are on point. The majority of the differences surround Yuri and Flynn respectively, so there's going to be a lot of mention of them throughout.
I've also posted video clips of my favorite scenes and the heavy changes, so consider those a supplement to this and vice versa.
Part 2.
Part 3.
Part 4.
(Other) GTF Favorites.
Note because people have vagueposted about me since making these: Do not start "dub versus sub hurr hurr" arguments with me or imply that's what I'm doing with these. Firstly, Japanese is a language, not your English subtitles. Secondly, these posts are not in main tags and I am not bothering anyone by making posts of my feelings on my own blog related to these facts. If you have time to vaguepost and whine about my untagged opinions after hatereading (or not even reading it at all and making stupid assumptions), you have time to be nice to people and find something fun to do. Lastly, I've said many times that the entire loc/dub in this game is not bad. There are specific things I take issue with. It does not mean I'm anti dub and hate all dubs. It does not mean I go out of my way to find dub fans and start shit with them.
Update: Went back through to correct the way I used "dub" and "localization" interchangeably. I don't do that anymore bc "dub" obviously refers to the dubbing of foreign media, and dubbing is a part of the localization process. Lines themselves are not the dubbing, and the dubbing is the vocals. Thus, I edited cases where I really didn't think about that while writing these and changed mistaken "dub" mentions as needed.
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I'd like to preface this by mentioning the chief director and producer of the game itself has also spoken about localization inaccuracy issues, so that's something to keep in mind (it's in Japanese, but you should be able to use the offered post translator).
I'd also like to preface this by mentioning that in the original, Yuri is more playful and relaxed/casual (generally but including with Flynn, which the dub pretty much entirely changed until arc 3), but also gentler and softer. He has a very large variety of tonal behaviors/tonal "moods" that were pretty much nuked from the dub.
Basically, to get a better experience for this Yuri, I can only really recommend playing the game in JP audio. Obviously you won't get the actual context because all you'll have is the loc context, but that's also partly why I'm making these posts - to cover the contextual changes while the video clips cover some of the tonal changes (because lbh I don't expect anyone to actually go watch the entire game in JP with subtitles unless you're as insanely dedicated as I am, and I'm largely doing it out of my love for the original Yuri and Flynn and my disdain for how the localization treated them).
As a heads up, there won't be many skits in here because I'm going through a specific YT playthrough for these screenshots. Specific skits won't always come up in the playthrough in question, and I can't find a whole list of skits in JP anywhere online. I don't have all skits unlocked in my own save either yet (you can unlock all skits with Grade which I have yet to do in the DE), so I can't use that to compare all skits right now.
There are plenty of small changes here and there that I won't be including in these posts because there are some sentence changes that aren't impactful but do exist. I just don't want to be here for a year covering the random changes that don't matter much. I'm also not going to include details of a lot of honorifics because I'd be here all day, but there is one one major instance that I mention later on.
For reference if anything wants to actually watch the game in JP with the subs (it goes until just after Hypionia), most of the references come from here. Since in some cases the subber just reused localized text even when the context wasn't the same, I did bring some of those up in these posts too. These were subbed before the DE version came out. I used screenshots with subs where possible to make it easier to follow along.
I have a lot of passion for JP Yuri and I hope I can pass on some of that passion to others. 🙏
Apologies in advance if some of these sound cranky. If I sound cranky about some specific changes, it's probably because I am.
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Since I talked about the whole, Raven being shady and Yuri therefore not being grateful to him incident that the localization for some reason butchered and made Yuri sound like a generally ungrateful or just outright dumb person who doesn't understand gratitude, I'll summarize that one again here:
Yuri has a skit with Estelle originally talking about how he can't find himself being grateful to someone like Raven for showing him how to sneak out of the castle. Basically, Raven is shady and he's not sure he should be grateful to someone like that, and is confused as to why Estelle would be so grateful when she doesn't even know him (because in his mind, he isn't sure he wants to trust a guy with those vibes). The loc just kinda... makes him sound like an ungrateful jerk and not so much because he's not sure he wants to trust Raven. It doesn't really sound like it's an issue of his with Raven specifically but more that he just generally doesn't feel grateful for the aid (and that in general one shouldn't feel grateful for aid like this), which gives off a really wrong impression of him that doesn't hold up throughout the game. Yuri wasn't wholly ungrateful for the gesture itself, but because of who it came from (and I imagine a weird peppy guy in jail is good cause to be skeptical).
We start off we a classic "Yuri, you idiot!" that was changed to "come on already!".
Yuri's response to Estelle mentioning he'd been in the knights doesn't actually give a time frame for how long he'd been there (the loc made up three months, but there was never originally even a time frame given).
Here when Yuri asks Estelle why she can't just leave, her response indicates she actually does know why. The loc made it more ambiguous, which could be easily misinterpreted as she really doesn't know, so I'm dropping this one here.
For some reason the localization seemed to have Estelle responding to Karol directly about the ace always performing their attack last ("I don't think so"). What she was referring to was the tiny monster that walked by, asking for confirmation that that monster was not the eggbear they were looking for (I wasn't gonna fight with the video to get a better screenshot without the annoying YT red bar in the way so the monster is in the corner mid-movement lol). Not sure if that was a genuine mistake, but it was an odd one.
(Also, side note and not putting an image here because it's more general, but Yuri refers to Karol as "Karol-sensei" which was translated in the localization to "Captain Karol". Basically, Yuri calls him "sensei" because that's a teacher/professor, and he's making a play on Karol's knowledge and being their "teacher" about monsters/maps/etc.)
I'd say this is more along the lines of overexaggerating and not overreacting, but this line was literally changed to "haha" in the loc. The whole point wasn't that Yuri just brushed her comment off or found it funny. At this point he still literally thinks she's exaggerating about her lack of knowledge out in the world, her excitement, etc.
Not the only instance you'll find of the loc just changing entire sentences to something meaningless as if they ??? didn't know what it meant (they actually changed Patty saying an entire sentence to "aye"). In some cases they added entire sentences that weren't even there...
Even though I can kind of see where they went with the loc here, the point was supposed to be that Flynn actively thought he would be happy for Yuri to go outside the barrier and see the world.
The loc changed this to Flynn saying that he, in the now, is happy that Yuri is outside the barrier, but then says he got a little less happy when he saw the wanted poster, indicating he was previously happy but got less happy, yet says in that moment that he is happy.
It's a weird case of (past/present) tense usage for the most part, but they also removed the fact that Flynn is literally saying "I thought I would be happy" (thus expressing he'd been wanting Yuri to see the world outside the barrier and would've been happy to find out he did). The reason he's not finding himself happy is because of the wanted poster and the crimes listed on it, following up that his honest happiness for Yuri (ultimately because of the poster) was a lie.
This also means they removed Flynn expressing the honesty of his happiness for a positive concept for Yuri, which, given all the changes toward Flynn in the loc/dub, already now takes away from the fact that he'd been actively hoping for good things for someone and we're left with this more sarcastic take on him being "happy" (his line is more like, "but I lost my sense of genuine happiness when I saw this!").
Obviously his happiness wasn't really a lie because most of the crimes were falsified (primarily the ones that would make him actually mad, because Flynn has had to have been aware this whole time that Yuri has committed small time crimes for the past few years now), but at the time, the focus on this conversation is that Flynn thought he'd be happy at a time that Yuri left the barrier; meaning he'd been hoping for it prior to it happening.
I'm also mentioning it because it's the very first in a whole line of changes the loc/dub made to their relationship (and it's their first in game interaction ffs) and to Flynn himself as he's perceived as a character. The original is much more expressive of how important they are to each other in a lot of various ways.
Inserting the JP audio version of the following scene with Flynn here.
And... the following one from there.
This was changed to "damn, we if lose our balance...". I know they did it because Yuri had just fallen over, but I'm including this one because the context isn't... really the same thing to me?
This loc change is a bit odd to me. They had him saying something along the lines of "she is a princess after all" in the loc, regarding the council backing her.
The original context is more like, the council is backing her and he's hearing it directly from Ioder and he probably doubts Ioder would lie like that or about that, cementing that yes, she truly is, like he suspected, a princess, but it's almost still a bit odd to know. It's sort of like, he knew/had suspicions but hearing it directly from Ioder just confirms it for certain.
The loc just made it sound like well yeah, it's obvious they'd want to back her, she's a princess... but Ioder is a prince, so that doesn't explain why they're not backing him. She is a princess after all, so of course they'd back her... but what's stopping them from backing the prince?
Another weird one for me. In the loc Yuri says that "even the Commandant was a little in over his head", when he actually... really wasn't? All he did was step in. Things got bad enough that he had to, but he wasn't in over his head. Not sure how or why the loc ended up with that.
An example of the loc having a habit of just adding in random lines that didn't actually exist (and in this case the one added didn't even contextually make sense. This was no thank you from him, this was literally him making Yuri do something for him because he was going to ask Flynn for a favor and ended up with Yuri in the cell instead).
Another super weird one in the loc. They had Yuri saying Flynn was "too" late, implying he hadn't made it in time, but he did. He made it just before the battle started, but the original context only says he's late, not too late (which makes sense given that they were ready to fight but hadn't started yet).
This was changed to Yuri just mentioning there was one way they could get out of there without actually saying what it was, and Judith saying if he thinks it might work what's the harm in trying it out. Not sure why they changed Yuri literally telling her his plan, so... again, a super weird change that I don't get why they didn't just keep the context the way it was.
Third image was changed to "someone get me away from this psycho", which... I also don't get why they put that there unless they just wanted so much flavor text that they wanted to change the whole "they're in a fight and he's telling her not to come over here because he's pissed at her because they're fighting" part of the fake fight they had going on.
Not one I have a huge problem with, but definitely good examples of them going out of their way to change just... perfectly normal stuff that literally has no reason to be changed? Some of it is flavor text and some of it feels over the top for me. Stuff that makes me like... why would you change that when there was no reason to? Could be more of a personal pet peeve of mine, but I just don't like unnecessary changes when there was nothing wrong or odd about the original text and doesn't at all come off odd in English. Unfortunately Vesperia got littered with those.
I didn't feel like getting a whole video for this, but basically Judith gives a little laugh instead of just the more upset/distressed(?) sound she made in the dub. Feels more fitting imo to keep up the "lie" Yuri started for her. The dub makes it seem more like she feels guilty, versus here she's giving a little forced giggle to go along with it. Again, a change I'm not sure why they put in.
Ngl I get completely different vibes from these. The JP comes across more as concern, rather than... treating them like they're some mob on the loose...?
Once again, this gives off negative vibes toward Flynn as a character imo.
Here Judith gives more of a reason for coming with them, which they changed in the loc to "with the circumstances being what they are, this is just how things turned out". Reasonably, she didn't have to stick around after they ran from Dahngrest, but here she gives a quick "reason".
The loc changed this to "I'll bet he is". They were just told he's the current magistrate in Heliord, and all Yuri says here expresses he's letting it sink in and realizing exactly why all this is happening here. It's not a huge story beat or anything that gets changed, but it's an example of changing things that don't need to be changed as if trying to play things up in a way that... doesn't feel necessary to me? In this case the situation is kind of dawning on Yuri as he realizes how bad this situation could be/why it's like it is, but in the loc it comes across as more just unimpressed and "of course he'd do that".
An unfortunate, classic moment of them changing how much Yuri believes in and trusts Flynn. They changed this to "gotta run, Flynn!" and he just... leaves. I'm sorry but in what universe does "leave the rest to you" equal "gotta run"???
This one is one of those cases where the localization text was super awkward and wonky, and worse, they actually voiced it that way (like "we have guild's job to deal with". Yes, they actually voiced it that way too on top of everything else grammatically wonky with the entire conversation that they didn't bother fixing when the DE came out).
Also here, they changed what Yuri says about Cumore and Flynn. "I don't know how I could explain this to Flynn" doesn't, at least to me, carry the same weight as Yuri actually feeling ashamed (in the loc he says "what a shame", but does not express shame, versus him saying "how pathetic" and expressing shame in feeling pathetic) and saying he can't even face Flynn because Cumore got away. The thing is, Yuri does tend to posture, so when he fails at something, it hits him pretty hard.
And let's be honest, this just hits way harder than "he will get what he deserves".
Interestingly, Yuri could also fall into the category of viewing himself as sinful later on, which I talk about in my favorites post and the usage of "crime" and "sin" within the JP context.
Not particularly important, but just another (more mild) case and example of how the loc just randomly changed tone/mood/wording for no reason.
Another case of Yuri being more aggressive in the dub than he actually was. Here, all he says is just a plain statement. In the dub, he has an attitude about it and says it in a tone that's more insulting that Ioder didn't know about Heracles.
This isn't the only case of dub Yuri acting aggressively toward Ioder when he wasn't supposed to be and we'll get to that, but Ioder is another similar case of the dub making Yuri unnecessarily vocally rude (despite that Ioder is very polite toward Yuri).
(I left out the subtitles because all they did was copy the Eng localization, which kinda defeats the point of this post LOL. This will be the case going forward for any same circumstances.)
This one's a more interesting tidbit to me and less of a harmful change (i.e. I find that a lot of if not most changes relative to Flynn do more harm than good when compared with the original context). Basically it's saying "sweet mask and sharp eyes", implying Flynn's sweet face is a mask and saying it contrasts with his sharp eyes. I could get into a whole rant about why I love that in relation to some side material, but even in the game itself, there's the knight Flynn with his sweet, polite side and his real side that only shows when he's around Yuri (basically, who Flynn has to be for his job and who he actually is as a person, which he only gets to be around someone who knows the real him).
I'd guess this got changed in the loc because they weren't sure how to word it, though there's no mention of "heartthrob" here at all and instead actually says "sweet mask" as if, again, to say his sweetness is just a mask. It's actually a very interestingly accurate representation of his character - how he tends to not be himself when he's being "knight Flynn", and how that sweet face is contrasted by the look in his eyes (which they say, you know, eyes are the windows to the soul, so this would imply the sweet face is the mask and the eyes are the real Flynn. And of course, this Flynn is implied to show himself in his sparring with Yuri in Aurnion, where sword fighting is the best way to express himself. This isn't to say Flynn being a nice person in and of itself is a lie, but that his overly polite, respectful, kind knight side is a sweet mask contrasted to the man who loves to fight and has a sharp look in his eyes)
For now, we'll be back at Mantaic in the next post (due to image per post limit).
#Tales of Vesperia#GTF JP Vesperia Things#GTF Vesperia Localization Woes#really like... a lot of the time? the other characters weren't changed all that much#it's primarily Yuri who got this weird shift where they just... flattened his personality?#but some of the biggest offenders ended up being some of the most important scenes in the game which is what bothers me#and sometimes the localization is pretty much just... on point with the plot dialogue and other characters#yet for some reason they just... changed a lot of tone for Yuri?#it's just like... Yuri will have personality in his tone and they instead make dub Yuri speak it in a flat way in those moments#this did happen with the original dubbing quite a bit but it's also just SUPER noticeable with the new lines#my suggestion would be to at least play the game w/ JP dialogue and see how you feel coming out of it if you're a fan of Yuri and/or Flynn#and if you like it enough then I'd suggest watching the playthrough in JP that these screenshots came from if you're RLY dedicated lol#it's not JUST Yuri it's just /dominantly/ Yuri. other odd lines just didn't... go as hard?#like Raven and Karol especially go pretty hard on their lines in JP and the Schwann stuff with Karol was OOF#or if you'd rather just skip to watching it in JP I mean be my guest lol I just know some ppl might rather PLAY it#I just feel like... like... even tho not everything in the dub is horrendous... if you're a YURI fan?#it's hard to go back to the dub (impossible for me ngl) when you have this actual silly little guy#who is a lot more emotional and wholesome and Yuri isn't acting like he has a stick up his dubbed ass in some scenes#I still prefer the 360 version plot-wise for the most part and it's a mixed bag there a bit but#I can't get JP audio on the 360 so. it's the struggle ig.#in my case though it's this feeling of like... them wanting to create an image onto Yuri that wasn't supposed to be there?#obviously I don't know what went on in the loc room but I do know I walked out looking at dub Yuri like#him and the original Yuri aren't even the same. I get so frustrated with dub Yuri's unnecessary ATTITUDE sometimes#which wasn't ever a problem for me period in JP. he's emotional and sincere WAY more often#also lbh I cannot reasonably picture dub Yuri all dressed up and pretty the way he is in official artwork LOL#and that's the thing. I see them so differently it's like they're different people#I also just feel like the dub was like. he doesn't fit OUR vision for him. what WE want him to be like#and again I don't know what went on in that loc room but I DO know that's how I came out feeling from this game#anyway this is in hope more ppl will come to love JP Yuri's personality and stuff#but yeah more next time on ''why did you do this to my sweet baby boy''
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The irony being Crimson would have left in the morning if Julien HAD married her. girl does not give a single fuk about being queen either. sure she enjoyed the perks, but in a "is it that sweet? i guess so" way
#5am crimson thots#i say this as someone who initially thought crimson wanted to be queen!#bc why did she want to marry him after ditching every other bf right?#but the more we learn about crimson#i see too much proof she could not give less of shit about being anyone's queen#i always knew she was dating kj to get clover's goat but what's so funny and weird is that's really ALL there is to it#the ONLY thing that made julien different from her other bfs (before the wedding fiasco)#is that clover liked him.#(the fact that clover has to be the target of crimson's most toxic brainworms yet can't talk about it#bc crimson pretends the insanity is not happening while making silent 'i know YOU know' faces at her the whole time#... SICK!)#and the horrendous irony that kj created new worse problems by choosing not to compromise himself any longer#life is cruel.... :(#part of why she gets obsessed w kj is she was unable to complete her pattern / close the loop#txt#lemur thoughts#crimson#crimju#crimclo
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comparing and contrasting them inside of my mind
#ieytd#i expect you to die#commander solaris#the fabricator#roxana prism#headcanons#not tagging this as art bc. its not enough for me to want to. anyways#i think abt this a lot its all very interesting. they all have a lot of talent but it's all in different directions#solaris is very problem solving in a literal sense. mechanical objective -> i'll build a machine that does that thing and nothing else#fabby usually makes more covert stuff so there's a lot more things that she needs to consider. size. shape. covertness. weight. etc#in ADDITION to lethality. which she excels at.#and prism tries so hard to tackle as many improvements as possible. and while she makes incredible things the robots weren't very. uh.#effective. at being super spy robots.#every weakness that was fixed just created a new one. and she works so fast she can't really think about the issues she's making#idk it's just all so fascinating to me#i can get pretentious all i want but i'll confess that i DID make this chart bc the fucking 'solaris can figure this part out' takes me OUT#it tears me up so bad. girl. that was YOUR idea. YOU do it
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Ben afleck smoking meme I’m so sick of myself adhd is fun sometimes I’ll be honest but let’s be real acquiring a new hyperfixation and then accidentally sinking 12 consecutive hours in, spiraling at max velocity down the rabbit hole, and not starting until 8pm is…. I’m getting TOO! OLD! for this!
tearing my hair out
I’m not in high school anymore but there I am Sunday morning watching the sun come up.. meanwhile I had shit to DO this weekend…!!
But instead, you know, at least I taught myself how to format a screenplay and transcribed 60 FUCKING PAGES of dialogue.
Did I so much as take a pee break in that time? Thank you for asking, exactly once.
Anyway if anyone needed, for some godforsaken reason, a line-by-line play through and transcript of the COD MW2 Alone mission, including a complete tree of all the dialogue options for every instance, I watched like five different full walkthroughs to catch everything I could, and I’ve got a fat google doc to show for it, now. I guess! I guess.
But then, could a fanfic author in need even now use my doc to outline a fic using the canonical dialogue, though? Questionable! Because of the way I chose to format it, (and went way out of my way at great effort! and expense of time! taught myself how to do for the express purpose of such!) …. Honestly in practice it would now be a huge pain to now line-by-line re-format it back into narrative dialogue.
Foresight; not exactly a virtue of hyper focus, unfortunately
Anyway. I’m at work now I slept like 8 hours combined all weekend and I really needed like a t least 20 after the week I had last week, and now I’m back at work, and I’m so fucking tired. I’m an idiot.
Prayer circle for my sleep schedule and the SLEEP STUDY IM LITERALLY SUPPSOED TO DO FRIDAY…. god I’m so glad we’re not open Thursday. I’m going to sleep for 14 hours.
#christ#and you know what I was delighted for every minute of it … thrilled to be up to my neck in new content .#in the moment#the only part I did not enjoy was the time wasted trying to find a screenplay formatting guidelines that weren’t actually ads#for a formatting service#and did I go to all that effort to figure out the rules only to end up flagrantly making my own? yes as is my right tbh#so due to that is it a good script? movie worthy? no I don’t know what I’m doing#however it did come out SUPER legible to navigate the different dialogue options and that’s what I was after#it was a mess to parse in normal manuscript format#so…#solved that problem at the cost of creating MANY others….#soapghost#cod#cod mw2#angie.txt
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argggghhhhhhhuuuhhhhhhhggghhhh
#rant#predicament: if i never became obsessed with nicole rafee i would have never heard her talk about ocd and then i would have never been like#oh shit i might have ocd and let that seep into every crack in my brain and now it controls my every thought#like all my thoughts were going through a perspective warp sieve and everything everyone's ever said to me like i was already over analyzing#everything but now the idea that that's a problem that doesn't have to be a problem has messed me up man like i think i'm having ocd about#ocd and it's not fun man but it's chill ig i hate it here i wish i didn't enjoy her content so much and that i wasn't obsessed with her#godddddd#new year's resolution: i don't have ocd and i am a new person who's carefree and fun loving#daily affirmation: i don't have ocd x10 every morning in the mirror#i will manifest the anxiety away and be a messier person who doesn't even care about authority one bit#like pshhhh idek that i have no control over my roommate situation pshahhhh dude like whateverrr be messy in the kitchen it's not like i#care if we get a roach infestation 🤪 peace and love man#i'm a sane and not paranoid person i am normal about every situation ever and it's awesome#i am not loosing sleep over maybe having a different cancer every night bc that's something a crazy person would do#but also i low key think i had / have covid since like last tuesday but subtly and slightly#i wish i would stop researching things i don't want to research anymore (looking up everything about ocd on ever website created since awol)#it's cool though it's all groove and fine but i would rather invest this time in synthia synthia but it's cool and whatev#this is my secret diary bc journaling has only ever made me feel worse#i can do scary drawings that allude to my mental state but writing about it depresses me to the point of sobs and it's literally not that#deep man like it's just anxiety and people deal with that everyday i just gotta get over it too like them#like normal man jim and his wife betty i gotta through more tupperware parties#merry christmas 🎠
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i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.
#IN MY MIND HE'S JUST LIKE ME and i understand why he dropped out of art school also.#i need to get back to my readings but im too into thinking about the couple dozen issues i have read#and then going i wonder what he was like in college. and the answer is definitely fucking annoying.#if i knew him i know we would be not arguing in art history class. i would be saying his takes are stupid outside of class during break.#and he would go i dont know how somoene can defend british utilitarian furniture so vehemently and try to liken it to bauhaus design#our arguments would also stem from having very different art history and therefore philosophy education. his background would be from a pro#who would focus on european canon as per usual while my prof was coming from the perspective of someone with a phd in asian art history#and a curriculum based mostly around exploring and investigating non euro art work and how movements like modernism and#post modernism functioned in other continents.#this is such a main blog post but idont care. EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW HOW I PROJECT AND INTERACT WITH HIM IN MY MIND#he would also hate how i argue for art even i dont care about by approaching it at the philosophical angle.#'how do you like this it's barely even art. or it is art. but it's a boring cop out for suckers. honestly.'#'the thing is i dont like it. i just think you need to expand your world views and stop being close minded. youre limiting yourself.'#you might go eiffel what are you basing this on? the answer is vaguely remembered panels in my mind plus generally taste opinions of his i#can gleam from what art references they give him within issues.#it would also be funny bc like. he has a background in design... he's just stubborn and snobby i think when it then comes to the realm of#fine arts. i think his opinions and how they operate in regards to design + illustration + non gallery art are probably quite different#but i cant lie. from the singular 'i dont wanna be some loser who shows up with a blank canvas to a gallery' panel i remember someone talki#about in a post i have used it to create a variety of thoughts i think he could have had.#and the answer is the opinions of someone definitely a little annoying in art school. with a pretty standard traditional training#and background that stems from euo+american art history and sensibilities that inform how he interacts with art. which is very normal#but i think it's funny to view him as someone i would probably roll my eyes at for some comments he would be making.#and it gets funnier with how he acts generally as a person.#kyle you cant be this snobby when you are drawing pin ups of your work crush in your home studio...#good lord this got so long i have a problem. hi. sorry to my new follower your kyle posting made me go ha ha kyle. i like that guy.#static.soundz#back issues box#< it might as well go there bc i blabbed way too hard and too much. sorry. overtaken by an entity in my mind
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Fonts are my fucking nemesis. Have been since I was a kid and the amount of fonts we had was considerably tinier and yet the problem was the same. I want to use the font that has the exact vibe I'm feeling at the moment. But no existing font has the vibe I'm feeling at the moment. Anyone else feels the same
#blabbering me#modern problems#i wonder if like. gutenberg was like. mmm this font does not fit the vibe of the book of exodus#i should have my smith friend create a new set of characters that is the same as this one but different#i mean i'm sure that was something people felt otherwise they wouldn't have created a gazillion different fonts#modernity is just the endless pursuit of the perfect font#but humanity will never reach it
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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the performative activism on TikTok actually makes my blood boil
#like sorry. commenting on every post is not helping Palestine. attacking small creators for not posting about it is not helping.#attack your leaders attack businesses that are on the boycott list. getting angry at eachother is just creating more anger#and at the wrong people#also if you are getting your news from creators on TikTok you are part of the problem tbh#that's how easy misinformation is spread and it results in propaganda being spread easily#want to very very clear i am pro free Palestine in every way#but this isnt helping them its helping people online feel like they are making a difference#don't reblog please I'm just so frustrated#Courtney rambles#tbd
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thinking i should split this behemoth fic into chapters, but idk. 50k oneshots are such a me brand thing, its always kind of been a dream of mine to hit the character limit for a single ao3 post
#taylor.txt#its 11k or 12k right now but its still like...the very beginning. LMAO. idk why i didnt consider this would be novel length#i ballparked like...30k initially at most but yeah im gonna blow that one out of the park#hey! the good news is its been YEARS since ive written something so long#which is helping me stop being scared of my novel again. after like two years of radio silence on that front#anyway i think i once did the math roughly one how many words the ao3 character limit corresponds to and i think i found it to be 70k or so#so if this passes that then uh. thats a problem for totally different reasons#nothing has ever encouraged me to create at such a rapid pace like ocs or rarepairs i'll tell you that much
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im reading a rly long environmental history book about the bering strait for school rn and i gotta say. this place is a little wild

#so far the narrative here is very much like#americans made contact w beringian peoples and fucked up some shit but then they tried to fix it#but then the fix made new problems#then the russians saw the us creating problems and they were like wait no WE can fix that actually#and then they also made things worse#wash rinse repeat with various different natural resources and ideologies#it's like almost comical looking at the cold war from this perspective#imagine being a chukchi person living in northern alaska and someone asks you whether you're a capitalist or communist#the answer was very much 'whichever one is more convenient/beneficial to me'#ive never even been to alaska or met anyone from there and just knowing what i know about beringian life from this book alone#those concepts are just like not applicable to culture lmfao#anyway. i have a lot of book left this is a long haul goodbye my dear friends enjoy whatever's left in my queue#bri babbles#secret edit a day later bc i just realized i accidentally said alaska twice when i meant siberia in these tags#so if u are reading this lol hi i accidentally mixed up the cold places and it haunted me overnight
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NADA !!! be pretentious and press release about Children of Dust

I think I became too pretentious with those two specifically that I'm this close to forgetting Martín doesn't have two biological children in canon LMFAO.
My press release is, though, that I sadly had to postpone the sequel because of the Swan's Symphony.
I intended to write both of them at the same time the same way I originally wrote Children and Who in the Sunshine. It worked well with the balance of a serious, darker verse with something light and hearty like Children.
BUT for a good moment there, I forgot that the Swan and Sequel are both heavily heist-oriented, which complicates things and annoys me because I'd have to keep track of how two heists will go, a decent amount of action scenes, multiple povs in both fics, etc.
However, I'm nearly done with the first part of Swan, and I think I might take a break from it then and write a couple of Sequel chapters. I'll see how it goes but that's what I'm hoping for.
Another thing to announce is that baby twins are now old enough to earn their own povs alongside the others!
#the problem with Swan is the moment I stop focusing on it I just forget everything that is happening and all the character names and#it becomes a huge mess lmfao#and though with the sequel I'm not creating a heist from scratch#the twins presence DOES change things fairly enough and affects different storylines and creates new storylines that I'd probably have#to rewatch the first part of lcdp and see how to go about that. fair enough I could ignore that and just write them having fun in the heist#preparation and all of that but meh I honestly don’t see the point of mint/bank heists au if the new au element doesn’t affect things enoug#for it to be an au#Children of the Dust#that rant is pretentious enough right?#and please Pudu that picture atjsjsks this is literally what my brain is like some times#went for a walk and to get some errands done yesterday and the entire time out that's exactly what my head looked like
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