#but this isnt helping them its helping people online feel like they are making a difference

[bangthedoldrums]

the performative activism on TikTok actually makes my blood boil

[mrfoox]

Fucking ridiculous. I'll literally spent months without seeing friends or talking to them and I still won't feel this level of absolute loneliness and despair :')

[requiemsystem]

ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS

if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

Ill talk about it more actually on stream as I feel like whenever I post something on other sites it just causes more discourse because of how the site works and I feel like this reaches a good amount of my community. Its really really hard to like call out specific behaviors online because a lot of the time it just ends up putting the idea in people's heads and ends up making some problems worse. Basically i've said this before and I know sadly im probably going to have to say it again but dont send people racist things or harass them simply because you dont agree with something they say about me? Like I really dont take any criticism of my content to heart because I understand that it isnt for everyone! And thats okay! No ones content is ever for everyone and people are allowed to have a negative opinion and I welcome people who watch me to say "hey I think you could have done this better" as it allows me to improve? If you actually cared about my content enough to do those awful things you would actually allow criticism. Like I dont know what more I can say at this point and I know me doing this isnt going to get anything to stop simply because the people doing this are idiots. Please if you dont like something someone says about me just ignore it! If you really dont like it then block them! Internet arguments are useless 90 percent of the time and only lead to the people involved just feeling worse! So maybe instead of like harassing people because of an opinion they have about me, just post something else! Dont make random arguments from tiny things! A LOT of the time a lot of things people argue about are just their opinion, and if you feel so strongly about it that you resort to harassing them then YOU NEED TO GO OUTSIDE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Im not even going to say anything about how it affects me because if racism, transphobia, or any type of discriminatory language being JUST WRONG isnt enough then I dont want you watching my content to begin with! And to my bipoc audience, Im so sorry that you guys have to put up with this like every month or so and I cant thank you guys enough for helping me call this out. I appreciate you guys so so much. Ill talk about this more on stream soon.

[damagedcoda6669]

this is stupid

lets talk about this dumb ask for a minute. (leaving them anonymous so they dont get SLAUGHTERED)

ive gotten a handful of comments on my youtube video accusing me of the exact same things, so im gonna use this as an opportunity to teach you HOW NOT TO ACT TOWARDS CREATORS ONLINE. first of all, my financial situation is NONE of your business. i will establish that i pay rent, i have an income, i help synni out financially, but i dont owe you ANY of that information. making an assumption about my private life and then using said assumption to demonize me is exactly the kind of behavior exhibited by the internet growing up which ruined my childhood. you are making an assumption about me and using it to victimize synni and demonize me, two people who you have NEVER MET and in reality you know next to NOTHING about. stop making me out to be the bad guy in every situation, it goes to show that you have learned nothing from my video and are continuing the cycle of birdie hate for no good reason.

second of all, this is fucking ableist. assuming im mooching off of my best friend and being lazy because i happen to be disabled and mentally ill? fuck off. there is no "you need to get your act together" youre not my fucking parent, and also??? i need to get my act together??? you mean stop being disabled??? wtf are you on about??? synni chooses to vent about her financial situation, but i choose to keep that part of my life private. me and synni are in the exact same boat. you know NOTHING about me. for all you know i could be working a 9 to 5 like everybody else, but you never considered that possibility because im disabled. i did say in my video "fuck work" but guess what? people who have jobs also dont like working. synni has expressed the same "fuck work" rhetoric but instead of treating her as manipulative and evil in this situation you make her out to be a victim. we all know why youre talking about me the way that you are.

third of all, its not my fault synni is working 24/7??? its not my fault we're poor??? did you ever consider the economic climate rn??? or think to blame capitalism for making us need to work all of our lives only leaving us with a few hours to ourselves, barely surviving and scraping by? but of course, you dont want a rational answer to why synni and i are suffering financially. the internet always wants somebody to throw under the bus, and it will always be me because you will always see me as a mentally ill dangerous freak. think for yourself, unpack your own ableism. its exhausting.

OKAY BACK 2 NORMAL JACK MODE srry 4 writing a whole bible abt this, i feel VRY strongly abt this. my disabilities have been effecting me so badly ive been considering getting a wheelchair. (dont forget im physically disabled as well!!!) its not FUN 2 not be able 2 do the same things every1 else can (and it certainly isnt fun 2 have 2 explain that 2 ppl who dont care enough 2 understand) but i will never stop advocating 4 myself, becuz i never had any1 2 do that 4 me when i was a kid

[honeytonedhottie]

embodying the wellness girlie aesthetic⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

i rly love the pink pilates princess aesthetic so i thought i'd make a post on some habits that i've incorporated that rly fit this aesthetic. and improve my wellness in general.

THE PLAYLIST : for the pink pilates princess aesthetic i rly love to listen to music that makes me feel like a doll~ so the playlist aspect of this post is totally customizable and just suited to however u wanna feel. i listen to a lot of twice and sabrina carpenter when i work out. but listening to music just elevates the experience

THE NUTRITION : u dont have to do a complete 180 in the things that u consume, instead start implementing little by little, foods and drinks that'll improve ur health. bcuz u glow differently when ur glowing not only from the outside but the inside as well

kombucha - i totally recommend trying it if u haven't before. its kind of carbonated and u can get it in any flavors. kombucha in a nutshell is tea thats been fermented. it heals ur gut and contains lots of probiotics which are good for ur body in general

drink tea - drinking tea daily is so so so good for you. if ur a bit intimidated by tea start off with a tea 99% of people enjoy, spearmint/peppermint tea. idk many people who DONT like spearmint tea. its just an easy tea to enjoy and its RLY good for ur skin and ur body.

smoothies - look up smoothie recipes online! smoothies are so yummy and customizable so if u dont wanna directly consume ur veggies, you can get them in through a drink! its revolutionary. my go-to is strawberry and banana, bcuz its not only delicious and good for me, but its also pink which is the main reason

eat more salads, açai bowls, eat ur oats, drink ur smoothies and of course dont forget ur matcha

supplements - u can find wellness vitamins or supplements virtually anywhere. a brand that i rly recommend is ollie. im taking their hair skin and nails vitamins and they're lovely.

THE EXERCISE : if u go to youtube and look up follow along pilates workouts u can find SO many. use ur resources guys! if u try pilates and it isnt rly ur thing, try dance workouts or workouts for songs. try a workout challenge. working out doesn't have to be dull. the key is to find something that u enjoy doing and doing it consistently

SELF CARE : ofc the pink pilates princess prioritizes her self care time~ self care is just a good habit to incorporate period bcuz of the massive benefits on ur mental + physical + emotional state

do a face mask - hydrate ur skin guys

get ur nails done - the classic pink pilates princess nails are pale pinks and french tips

take a bubble bath - invest in a high quality bath bomb or bubble mixture that smells nice

invest in a gua sha

start oiling ur hair and putting in hair masks to keep ur hair healthy

write out what ur grateful for (self care isnt only physical)

GOING FOR WALKS : going for walks is amazing. walking improves cardiovascular health and reduces the chances of heart disease and strokes. i love to go for walks and listen to music or a podcast. just make sure that your walking in a safe space or with someone that u trust, especially if ur alone (stay safe <3) going for walks also helps clear ur thoughts!!

ATTIRE : buy clothes that make u feel cute and that make u feel good whilst working out! i like to wear a lot of pink when working out~ when i type pink pilates princess inspired outfits into pinterest i see a lot with leg warmers too! i think that having a cute outfit to workout in motivates u a lot to actually perform the actions and embody the wellness girlie aesthetic. cuz when u look the part -> u feel the part

and last but not least ENJOY urself and romanticize it, have fun <3

[transid--tips]

tips for transjapanese asian indv? we’re using subs but we’d love to do more than that!

got our many transjapanese headmates to help with this one ehehe.

this is our transjapanese advice

consume media from japan or ones popular in japan. anime and manga is the most widely known so you will have plenty of others to converse about it with. jdrama, jpop, japanese radio are also worth giving a try to. googling medias that are popular or have dedicated fanbases is also great.

watch things either in the japanese dub with english subs or even english dub with japanese subs.

eating/cooking japanese foods is probably one of the best ways to get into the culture. restaurants can be great if you can find any good ones locally, or traveling to find authentic japanese food places. but what we recommend is finding a local asian market. even if it isnt ran by a japanese person, most are very knowledgeable about japanese foods and can give recommendations and tips with making meals. plus its an amazing way to get involved with your local asian community.

speaking about community, connect with other japanese folks and asians. online is a good starting point for building your confidence around being perceived as cisjapanese. going out locally where you live is a big step to take but is worth is. local asian communities are generally kind and accepting of all asian people. side note that you could end up meeting other transjapanese people irl, since its one of more common transIDs.

participate in japanese holidays. you can do this in the privacy of your own home or go to any local events if you can find them.

take time to learn about japanese fashions and decide on some subcultures you might want to try out. also getting a kimono/yukata can be very helpful.

watch youtube videos about japan and its culture. like for example, the manors that they prioritize or things they like to do for fun.

learning to speak japanese can be hard but might be worth it if you have plans of moving to japan or just want a deeper connection to the culture. but dont feel bad if you cant! not all japanese people outside of japan know the language, and thats valid.

being out and proud about being japanese is great. some people may question it but just know that race is a spectrum and not all asians will look the same.

if you feel racial dysphoria relating to your body then you may consider cosmetic surgery. we dont have much to say about this one since its something we are still researching, but do look into it if its a goal that you have.

thank you for reading this and we hope yalls transition journey goes well! we did sprinkle some infodumping in here since we are also transjapanese and in the middle of our transition. but thats alright because this is an autism safe space so that means we get to info dump yay.

[thatbitchery]

Jordan Peterson says there's a pandemic of 'careless therapy' in the west and I fully agree. The idea is most psychology and psychiatry practices especially in the west are married by the early 70s *You Are Okay Just The Way You Are* flimsy surface level self esteem boost bullshit that isn't helping anyone. Why is this even important - it is absolute bs. The amount of people that I have known to be in therapy for YEARS and the only thing that changes is their self concept is actually scary, because western therapists are taught in the Wokeism bs of self affirming pumped up dumb ideologies that do not help.

You pay for problem solving.

The reason you pay someone is to solve a problem you have, not just diagnose it. Yes your therapist telling you you have PTSD is good for you yay now you have a name for it BUT if they don't tell you how to deal with it what was the point of the diagnosis?? Nothing has changed you still suffer you just have a name for it. Most of you will talk to me about *I started going to therapy* and the only thing you do in that little room is talking about your past- what's the point??? You already know your past, if they are not giving you solutions wrap it up and find a therapist that actually knows what they are doing and isnt marred by the egoistical western approach to life of me myself and. Even back in uni my Psychology professors were the most careless of the bunch, trying so hard to not get canceled soieting around things that actually affect life trying to reinforce the idea that all you need is to believe in yourself. Everyone that doesn't agree with you is toxic and you should be able to scream at your parents and bosses and get away with it because you have a right to opinion- I even skipped those classes. Took me changing my therapist 4 times to land to my now realistic stoic therapist that actually tells you the truth (she's in her late 50s, so maybe there's that).

If the people you are paying to solve your problems are not telling you how to solve those problems- you fire them. If your therapist is sounding like something a 15 year old tiktoker would say you fire them and find your money's worth. If your money is on the table you get solutions. Knowing you have daddy issues is great- now how do you deal with that? Will they give you practical solutions to do on your days to day basis?? Do these solutions make sense in a realistic POV?? Does your therapist telling you you should be able to express yourself so shouting at your mom when you live in her house is okay make sense to you??? Is it even realistic?? She is trying to not lose her license so she'll tell you what she needs to say to keep it, but if it's not helping you what's the point?? It's not like it's 10£ that you can just burn is it??

If you do not see actual tangible results that are not only in your head in two months you fire them and move on. It's crazy how everyone in my dms has a therapist but doesn't know how to deal with things so simple because all you do is sit in a cozy little room for an hour and talk about your past. Its YOUR past you already know it what's the point of paying all that to trauma dump when you can do it online for free??

Mentorship is the ONLY space you can go home without seeing results because it's free. You do not pay your mentor and you should be grateful for their time. When it comes to everyone else, your money on the table means results. If you've had a life coach for more than two months and you can not see real time tangible results you fire them and find another, that's wasting your money and time. Felling good will not make you a millionaire will it? If your dietician doesn't hand you a meal plan within your budget that gives you results in two months you fire them.

Results. And feelings are not results. *I feel better about myself now and understand where my pain is coming from* good for you, now what. What's next. Now what??? How is that helpful. *I'm okay I'm just autistic* good for you I know the relief of finding out you are not the problem, your brain is . Now what. What next. How will you live with that and still achieve your goals?? Whats next?

This is why in my books,Behavioral Therapy (CBT / DBT) are the most practical forms of therapy. Actual solutions. Actual tools for your day to day living. Not just talking and diagnosing (these are helpful yes) but actual solutions that work. How will knowing you have CPTSD help if you do not have the tools to deal with it? What's the point??) it's just a name.

Careless psychology is a pandemic, and a waste of time, money and energy. If you do not have actual tangible real time solutions in a month fire them and hire a stoic life coach. It's better.

Solutions. That's what money is for- buying solutions.

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[nailgunstigmata]

i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it

like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world

and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.

mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy

[echo-heo]

Hello! re-typing this because i'm too lazy to copy-paste from @epenethesis,

I spent a great deal of time learning about various scripts, however this has been to the detriment of my ability to create new original ones as they have been too closely associated with existing ones.

I heard from them you may have advice, and i thank you wether you do or do not as long as you answer.

Be well, internet stranger.

Hi! So to introduce myself briefly I do type design & calligraphy and something I do often is learn historic scripts and styles from manuscripts etc and thats how I get feels for things. I think if you learn more about different styles of the scripts and notice patterns it'd help u make more original looking scripts. In any case, here are some of my general advices on creating & learning scripts:

1. scripts have rhythm, visually and in stylus movement

Scripts tend to have repeated elements. strokes, joints, spacing, etc. For example, lowercase latin has vertical weight between the baseline and the x height, and this is its natural resting space. Occasionally letters have ascenders and descenders. horizontally, letters have semi-evenly spaced downstrokes (see letters like m and n) with the writing pattern of ↓→↓→ etc.

2. "Intermediate stage" does not exist.

Something that people do commonly while evolving a script is that they create intermediate stages that do not have patterns or rhythms, but these intermediate scripts should be on their own self contained systems

3. Scripts have multiple styles simultaneously that influence each other.

Scripts don't simply evolve linearly. Modern latin has so many styles and that is the case for most scripts. Modern Greek letterforms are a fusion of original Greek minuscule forms and forms evolved from uncial (sigma has both, with the final form deriving from uncial)

4. Consider the motion of the pen

Some nib shapes make it harder to draw strokes in certain directions, and in general strokes going from left to right and top to bottom are more common because generally it is easier to pull than push. some writing utensils allow you to write in any direction, and often from switching from the former systems to the latter, scripts gain seeminglt redundant and complex looking connective strokes. (think javanese and copperplate calligraphy) Limiting stroke directions also helps with consistent writing rhythm. (try drawing a square multiple times with one stroke in one direction, you will find that it is significantly harder to keep it square than breaking it up into multiple strokes) (Note: Contrary to popular belief writing on leaves isnt what makes indic scripts look loopy and geometric, it is the unfamiliarity with the various scripts by people who perpetuate this myth)

5. Different styles with different quirks may be used for different purposes

Short titles and signs may use bold and ornate styles (black letter, lombardic capitals, aksar mul, bold cleric script, kanteiryu, kufic) or archaic styles (roman capitals, seal script).

Formal body text may use either space-efficient blocky styles (black letter, uncial, cleric script, jain nagari style) or more balanced organic styles (humanist, regular script, etc).

Informal body text may use semicursive (italic, bâtarde, running script, etc) or cursive (grass script, etc)

6. Don't trust online sources on script evolution

study your manuscripts and form ur own perception of things cause so many people are Wrong on the internet

---

Now for a more practical example, this is how i made Ekavathian:

I came up with this asemic sketch, borrowing the rhythm from Javanese and the diagonals from Lontara.

We felt that this was too visually cluttered, so I simplified the shapes and picked letters.

I iterated on it, writing text to see how it feels and making the letters feel more natural to write

I began working on the font, and I started with the square thing and expanded from there. I wanted it to have an indic pen angle with some stroke modulation

I settled on this for the stroke pattern. Feels natural for the kind of shapes i have.

This is my handwriting after making the font (brainstorming cursive idea) and its kinda funny how I got better at writing a completely made up script lol

In any case if you have questions about specific things ask me any time

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[csuitebitches]

Book Review/ Notes from: The Psychology of Successful Women

I found the book pretty generic but I liked the fact that she added guiding questions to her strategies, which made it more doable. Here are the notes:

1. Define what success means to you. Ensure that it is healthy and holistic.

2. Note down your goals. “What do i want to be/do/have in my career?”

“A study on goal setting at the Dominican University in California showed you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. Written goals are proven to increase your focus, strengthen motivation and help you come up with a plan of attack to make your dreams a reality.”

3. We need a combination of the right mindset + behaviour in order to actually succeed.

4. Confidence isnt relative to being an extrovert or introvert. Confidence is about having trust in oneself.

A) developing a positive internal dialogue instead of a negative, critical one

B) focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. “.. revealed that people who used their strengths every day were three times more likely to report having an excellent quality of life, six times more likely to be engaged at work, 8% more productive and 15% less likely to quit their jobs.”

C) stop comparison - whether it means logging off social media or unfollowing/restricting certain people.

D) click with people with the same values as you.

E) believe in yourself. It’s not your job to prove yourself to everyone.

5. Developing a personal brand is important. A personal brand is how people see you and what you’re known for. Its important to consider how you present yourself online and offline.

• Your personal (people person/ adaptable/ flexible, etc) and professional strengths (what you really enjoy doing)

• What makes you unique

• Your achievements and qualifications

• Your life experiences

• Your values and the things that are important to you

• Your passions

• Your image

• Your mindset and attitude

• Your behaviour

Ask people around you how they see you - speak to people you deeply trust.

Reflect on that.

How would you like them to see you?

6. Imposter syndrome is often described as a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, inadequacy and incompetence, despite evidence of success.

A. Identity triggers and thought patterns to that lead you to feeling like a fake.

B. Acknowledge your past success and accomplishments. Write a list of some of your achievements and successes. Reflect on some of the great feedback you have received from a client or colleague in the past few months.

7. Boundary setting is a necessary evil. You will feel guilty at first, but it gets easier with time. You dont have to give out excessive excuses, either.

8. Fear of failure: What have you been putting off learning, doing or experiencing personally or professionally, because of fear of failure, or a fear of not being ready? • What can you do this week or month to stretch your comfort zone? • What would you do right now if you knew you absolutely couldn’t fail?

9. “Women tend to apologise a lot more than men in general, even when we have nothing to apologise for – almost out of habit. Do you say sorry a lot? Now this does not mean that we should never apologise, or that we can’t say sorry – of course we can. Just be mindful of over-apologising.”

Phrases to stop saying:

- I’m sorry that our director is unable to come today, you’ll have to put up with me instead…

- Apologies if I’m nervous today, I don’t often speak in public…

- I hope you dont mind but…

- I’m no expert on this but…

10. Stop diminishing yourself. “When we undervalue our role or contribution, we often reflect this in our language, and talk like what we do is not that important. Furthermore, when we don’t genuinely value ourselves, we may start to convince others of the same. People will often mirror back to us how we feel or speak about ourselves.”

11. “People with high levels of resilience think and act in ways that help them cope with change and setbacks. For example, they are flexible and can adapt to changing situations. They also tend to be positive and hopeful – believing the future can or will be better – even if they are in the middle of a challenge. Highly resilient people also don’t tend to dwell on setbacks and things they can’t change.”

Strategies:

1. Dont be afraid to ask for help. “People who are good at reaching out to others, talking about their challenges or setbacks, asking for help and then accepting that help, tend to cope better.”

2. Control what you can control. Do not focus on things you can’t control or change.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

×vent× ×tw dysphoria¿ im just dramatic im sorry×

npd + trans person culture is pretending to be cis online. i see myself being trans as such a huge imperfection (my transphobic country isnt helping) that since ive realized that, i never felt truly happy irl. im not living, im exciting like a zombie, imitating a certain personality for my college friends (they dont know that im trans or that i was diagnosed with npd). i feel so sorry for homophobic comments i keep making around them but its the only thing that makes me feel better about myself irl.

i can only feel as a “real one” when im online, because no one here knows that im trans. its so relieving, i feel perfect. its like getting a 100/100 on a test. (PASSING a test. get it? 😉)

but im still scared that one day ill have to actually aknowledge it openly. or come out to my online friends. i cant hide forever but I also cant make myself to accept it. i will never be..a girl enough, so its better not to be one. i still want people to love me. i still want to have a good reputation. im not ready for any hate comments about me, i cant handle it, i will break.

to sum it up, i wish i wasnt trans. really. it makes me feel lesser. its so awful.

.

[hearts401]

"do NOT ask me about ggy or patient 46 because i WILL begin ranting"

You see, I am incapable of ever listening to anyone, ever, so I must ask about GGY and patient 46

I have absolutely no knowledge of modern FNaF lore; I have not read any of the books (something I plan to fix whenever my bank account stops bleeding) so you're gonna have to do some heavy lifting here and tell me all about it

Ooh boy rubs my hands together

okay so im gonna start with ggy because i love Tony and Ellis. (i dont have the book in front of me tho so this isnt gonna be 100% every detail)

GGY is about a kid named Tony Becker who has an assignment in his 6th grade english class. He has to write a fictional mystery with side plots that tie into the main plot. He chooses to do this with his two friends. They use pen names whenever they do their english projects together (sobs and wails and cries into my hands) and Tony picked Tarbell, and his friends were Boots and Dr. Rabbit (or Rab for short).

Tony wants to start working on their project, but Boots and Rab want to go to the fazcade. Tony gives in when rab backs up boots (tony sees boots as immature and worries about outgrowing him and hanging out more with rab) tony wanders around the fazcade trying to find inspo, and then notices someone named GGY with top scores on some of the games. when he asks other people about it, they tell him the scores are seemingly impossible, but when he asks a staff member, he's told they haven't been hacked.

At some point he makes an online blog to ask about it and a girl he'd talked to in the fazcade asks him to meet her. she tells him that she thinks this is more than just high scores, and that he should stay out of it.

Oh also freddy keeps watching tony and at some point begins following him.

Tony finds out that GGY has a hacked party pass (or it was like a fun pass or smth) that gives them access to much more than it should, working almost like a security card.

Tony then finds out one of the school counselors has gone missing, and he sneaks into the librarian's office to learn more about it. he finds out two other counselors have also gone missing, all of them having gone to the pizzaplex before disappearing.

tony writes his paper and gives it to Rab and Boots to look over, and when they come back the next day, they've changed it into a fantasy story. And GGY is labled as the wizard's favorite apprentice, rather than someone getting high scores on arcade games.

tony is upset with rab and boots and begins calling htem by their actual names.

Rab is Greg, Boots is Ellis.

tony is also in trouble for sneaking into the librarian's office and using her laptop, so he has detention shelving books.

Greg come and offers to take him to the pizzaplex when he's done, and it's kind of implied he killed him there.

again i have bad memory and i dont have the book in front of my so anyone can feel free to correct anythign i got wrong or missed

now onto patient 46 who's from the therapy tapes in sb.

this'll be undeniably easier because i can just listen to the tapes. patient 46 is also not confirmed to be gregory, its just a theory, so im just gonna call them 46.

its important to note that 46 does not speak.

everything here is things implied to have been nonverbally communicated to the therapist.

Tape 2:

It starts with the therapist talking about how the day is nice, but 46 doesnt like the light, so the therapist draws the blinds. she then comments on how 46 is not talking to her today, and says that she gets reviews from patients, and when 46 doesn't let her help them, she gets bad reviews. she tells 46 she could get in trouble and get put in timeout, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 4:

New therapist is here, she asks if 46 is going to talk to her, and they dont reply. she asks whats wrong, and they gesture to the flowers. the therapist comments on them being particularly fragrant and moves them. The therapist then comments on 46 staring at something, and says they're "amazingly alert." she says shed like to have 46 tell her about themself, but 46 does not. the therapist instead chooses to look through their notes. she also comments on the chair not fitting 46, but its not specified if its too big or too small. she then asks if 46 is bothered by a new therapist, but 46 doesnt seem surprised or confused at all. the therapist says shes surprised by whats in 46's notes. she says they have a "rebellious side" and a knack for computers, and explains the word phenom to them. the tape ends with her asking if 46 considers themself a hacker

tape 6:

new therapise again! she tells 46 shes already read their files and knows what theyve worked on. 46 asks for a candy, and she gives one to them, taking one for herself as well. she says she wants to start with 46's parents, and claims it was tragic but she doesnt think 46 has processed it emotionally. she says they wrote it like they had read it off of a book. (her exact words are they wrote an objective rather than a subjective narrative, but 46 didnt know what that meant.) she says 46 spends a lot of time alone and is good at self-dialogue, which she explains is "asking urself questions and getting answers" she tells them to try asking themself how they feel about what happened to them. she tells them to let themself be upset about it so they can let it go.

tape 8:

same therapist as 6! she asks 46 if theyve thought about what they talked about. 46 had told them their past had made them sad and scared. the therapist asks if they had written down exactly what made them feel that way. she then says she works with many people who respond to tragedy differently. she asks 46 if their fantasies would be different had this tragedy not happened to them.

Tape 13:

new therapist again! she says when shes getting to know a client, she likes to find out abt their hobbies. when she doesnt get a reply, she asks if they like sports. 46 tells her they like to watch sports, but not play them. and that they like to stay inside. the therapist then reluctantly tells 46 that their previous therapists have gone missing. except one who was found dead, and they said her body looked to be mangled by machinery. the therapist also comments that 46 doesn't look concerned about it. she jokes about watching her back, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 14:

same therapist as 13. she asks if 46 knows about the pizzaplex, and says the technicians who work there know them. theyve seen what they think is 46 on the security cameras. they say 46 was accused of hacking their systems. the therapist says that the hacks are causing tons of problems, but that there's no solid proof it was 46, and 46 finds it funny that the techs are having issues. she says she finds it weird that 46 would spend time in such a busy, crowded place despite their loner attitude. she asks if its the electronics that 46 likes. she also says theyve designed programs that talk to them and repeat phrases. she says it asks them questions and prompts for responses, like their own little therapist. she said at first she had thought they were talking to themself, but it seems more like they were talking to someone else. she asks who it was.

Tape 15:

same therapist as 13+14. she starts with asking if 46 wants to do an ink blot test. she shows them an image, and 46 asks to hold it. 46 says it reminds them of a mask. the therapist asks if 46 likes the idea of being disguised, and how they make you invisible. she says being invisible lets you get away with anything, and asks 46 if they like that idea. she then moves on to something else, telling 46 that it seems theyve been talking to someone else. she says the techs think that its someone trying to lure 46 away, or manipulate them. the therapist moves to where she can see 46's eyes, and says she got something different from the communications. she accuses 46 of manipulating someone, rather than being manipulated. she says they were recorded on the security cameras with someone else. she says that it looks like the person theyre with has rabbit ears, which 46 finds amusing.

Tape 16:

Same therapist as 13+14+15. she says shes gotten another message from the pizzaplex that says that theres a glitch in the system that makes the animatronics more eerie than entertaining. she says the glitch spread system-wide and infected all the machines. she also says it was traced back to 46. she says the glitch broadcasted a dangerous message. she also says that when the techs were trying to fix it, the source shifted. she says that the glitch changed from a glitch and became a set of sub-routines that were made to do exactly what the glitch was doing. (which basically means it stopped just being a glitch and became part of the system?? i think?? idk shit abt computers bruh) when 46 does not reply, she presses, saying she is on their side and wont tell anyone what is told to her during the session and that the techs have no proof it was 46, so theyre not in trouble. when 46 doesnt reply still, she brings up their past. 46 refuses to look at her, but she continues. she says it doesnt matter if they look at the floor, because nothing they told her about their parents was true. she says they had great parents, and a great childhood. she asks 46 why they lied, and tells them to look at her. she then says she understands why 46 would be upset about the confrontation, and says they can come back to this another day. the last line she says is "you're shaking your head like that's not going to happen."

UHM YEAH IM NORMAL ABOUT THEM LOL.

i have a lot of thoughts on both of these parts and i personally believe 46 is Gregory. but if i dumped all my thoughts we'd be here all day so have this long ass explanation instead

[fandomunsexyman]

Silco for the character ask game?

1. How I feel about this character - Silco is a great example of terrible coping mechanisms and a good villain. I like how his relationship with Jinx leans into the theme of “family isnt always blood or healthy” because they I believe that they do care about each other but that manifests in forms that are unhealthy for Jinx and dangerous for those around them. A large part of Silco’s care is supporting and protecting Jinx regardless of whatever she does and I love how the show showcases how thats not a helpful or healthy mindset! Also I like Silco as a counterpoint to Vander of freeing the Undercity but at the expense of its inhabitants and the community that Vander had lead. The villain ever. Also his dinner scene with Vi was fantastic.

2. All the people I ship with this character - I don’t ship Silco with anyone! I headcanon him as aroace bc if he isnt then why is one of his main colors green???

3. My non-romantic OTP - I’d love to see more of Silco and Sevika’s relationship! I want to know Sevika’s perspective on Shimmer and how that’s affected the Undercity. Also you can’t tell me that she and Silco weren’t gossipers.

4. My unpopular opinion on this character -Silco being horrible for Jinx and doing his best aren’t mutually exclusive takes. Silco was advising Jinx in a way that turned her into the worst version of herself because thats how he saw things and how he coped. He’s working from his own perspective and that perspective is a deeply flawed one. It doesn’t mean he didn’t care about Jinx, it makes him realistic. Idk I remember that a lot of people online took his behavior as an all or nothing about him caring for Jinx and that’s never been true. Silco cared for Jinx but he’s also Silco, for better or for worse.

5. One thing I wish would happen in canon - I wish we saw more of his plan for the Undercity once it was free. What was his plan for if/when he got what he wanted?? I also wish we saw more of him talking about Vander and how Vander had impacted him beyond the murder attempt.

[speedlimit15]

ik its silly and self centered but when i'm feeling paranoid i think every vague post is about me. even if i havent spoken to anyone or done anything besides reblog images or talk about how im feeling or what tv shows im watching. i feel like i'm not meeting some invisible criteria or even worse i've been stomping and pissing and shitting all over it. Like i shouldnt care at all if i know i didnt do anything, but what if i did and didnt realize it. what if everyone has been secretly or even openly laughing at me the whole time and laughing even harder when i'm distressed. like i vividly imagine ppl screenshotting my posts and sharing them and mocking me every time i type anything out. i can't get to a place in my head where the opinions of ppl i want to be friends with no longer matter.

i know this thought trap comes from this situation playing out over and over in my childhood and teen years both irl and online. at this point it's such an established pattern i'm convinced i'm doomed to be some sort of secret lolcow of everyone i admire forever, and that the people who admire me would hate me if i admitted this, and so on. i thought deleting my social medias one by one would help but in doing so i kind of cornered myself here. so i keep crocheting and thinking about current events and screaming as loud as i can in my head bc thats all i can do. lately my chest reallt hurts all the time. Umm sorry i know im pushing 30 but this stuff really isnt getting any easier and being in this room is making it a thousand times worse