#and even though my parents are like 5ft or something

[vitalicion]

dude how tall are you (i cannot be the shortest out of all my moots)

heh…

(about 6ft in american measurements ummm)

[kivaember]

me several chapters deep into my 1999 umbra fic and realising i haven't described drifter's physical appearance once (1) except for arthur commenting on their weird as fuck eyes HSFDHJDFS

i will try to cram that in at some point... but for now, description under the cut (maybe one day i'll commission someone to draw them dfhdfh):

HAIRSTYLE

Like this, but in a very ashy blond colour. Drifter did have a period where they had long hair in Duviri, but when it became tangled and difficult to deal with, they just hacked it all off and then was like, huh, short hair rules actually. After refining their technique they eventually learned how to do a short cut like this (and also because they managed to find some functioning pair of clippers in Duviri somehow - before that they looked like their hair was being cut by a knife because.... it was lmao)

Their hair is very soft and thick, so they do sometimes mourn the fact that long hair is too troublesome to have. They really enjoyed stroking their hair and tying it up into a thick braid and doing that thing where you swing it around (and smacking people with it). Maybe one day they'll grow it out again dshsdh

EYES

It's not as simple as saying they're blue! Because they're not, really.

Drifter's eyes are blue (and before the Zariman they had very much been a mundane blue), but they're also green, and sometimes red, or brown? They change colour often, but no one notices because there's some weird passive Void fuckery going on here. It's harmless passive Void fuckery where Drifter's eye colour changes every other day or so, but it leaves people feeling unsettled for reasons they can't really put their finger on. There's just something off here? (They consciously don't know that Drifter's eyes change colours, but unconsciously they're picking up they should be noticing smth different and it just translates into an unnerved feeling lmao)

Also not helped that Drifter's eyes do have a very subtle glow to them. Not noticable during the day, but at night? Drifter has startled more than a few Hex when wandering around in the dark.

They look like cat eyes catching a flashlight in the dead of night. A reflection of light back at you, but there's no light source for those eyes to reflect. It's as if the light is coming from within, and after the initial scare there is something weirdly hypnotising about it in a comforting kind of way (as Quinn said, Drifter/Operator possess a light all of their own within the Void, so my thoughts is they're a guiding star in the deep dark).

BODY

They're short and lean with dense muscle.

They're about 5ft 2 inches, and while they're not bulky, they're very well-toned and strong. They're built for endurance and short bursts of speed, so they can run around Duviri all day and also frantically dodge around people trying to decapitate them. The big baggy cloak they wear makes them look waaaay smaller though, so people at first glance think they're a fragile flower who needs their Warframe and Void powers to be any threat - haha fucker, you fell for their trap!

(cw: scars stuff and mention of self-harm)

They wear the cloak all the time, though, because of certain scars. There's the scars from where Thrax started ramping up his "punishments" until they culminated in a full on execution which began the loops - so Drifter kept the scars from before that - and they're things like, whip marks on the back, marks on the back of their knees, and even "TRAITOR" branded on their left thigh (which Drifter tried to cover up by scarring it over, which they mostly succeeded at but if you squint and stare you can still make out the TRAITOR).

But Drifter doesn't really care about those scars. They're Duviri shit. They're whatever. The scars they hate the most are the very human bitemarks on their shoulder and arm - from when their crazed parents very nearly succeeded in killing them and took a few bites out of them before they managed to escape. They hate what they represent, and they hate that if anyone sees them their first question is going to understandably be yo what the fuck are those.

Duviri scars are whatever. People can take one look and be like oh, they were tortured by that crazy maniac in charge of their personal hell. Makes sense. The bite marks would just draw questions they don't want to answer.

Also they have huge tits that are forever contained by the world's strongest sports bra. Drifter is both quite smug about this and also irritated. Has on more than on occasion declared they are "getting rid of them because I'm tired of these fuckers giving me back pain". They do not get rid of them and have no intention of ever getting rid of them.

GENDER

Their gender is Drifter, the end.

Okay on a serious note, Drifter has a very weird relationship with that because they genuinely can't, like, conceptualise gender for themselves, personally. They're Drifter. They've always been Drifter. The NPCs in Duviri didn't really care who they were, only that they were the best friend of the king, and later, his greatest betrayer. Drifter was too busy dying and getting mentally eviscerated on a daily basis to dedicate much thought about their identity beyond "boy howdy i hope i die painlessly today! :) "

And when they did bust out of Duviri they had to deal with Narmer, and then after that Wally meddling in shit, and THEN they were punted to 1999 where suddenly they're being asked "so, what are you? Boy, girl, both, neither?" and Drifter is just "I'm. Drifter???"

It's something they'll navigate in 1999 but will ultimately stay on "I'm Drifter". They don't care if someone uses she or him for them, because hey, if that's easier for them, they really don't give a shit. Drifter's got other things to worry about, and those things are: poor RNG with these fucking relics XAKU PRIME SYSTEMS WHY DID YOU TAKE SO LONG TO DROP YOU'RE UNCOMMON NOT RARE.

TL;DR

They look like a twink with the cloak on but underneath that they've got muscles and can probably benchpress Arthur a few times if they needed to prove themselves. Their gender is Drifter, but they don't care if other people use other pronouns for them. They dress like a slob but the one day Quincy manages to bribe them into a complimentary outfit the Hex will be like "no, you're too powerful, get back into your homeless man coat".

Anyway, that's my Drifter ;;w;;

[farewelld]

logan  lerman,  twenty  nine,  he/him      ⟡      —      is  that  RONAN  GREER  i  just  saw  walking  around  kilmer’s  cove ?  i  heard  they’re  a  RESIDENT  who’s  been  here  for  TWO  YEARS  it  slipped  my  mind,  since  they  just  tend  to  hang  out  at  THE  CLIFFS.  at  face  value,  they’re  said  to  be  GENUINE  and  INTUITIVE,  but  i  don’t  know…  some  people  have  said  they  can  be  quite  RESERVED  and  MALADROIT.  just  don’t  get  on  their  bad  side,  i  guess !  don’t  tell  them  i  told  you  this,  but  i’ve  heard  they  DO  believe  in  all  the  ghost  stories  around  town.  who  knows  what  the  future  holds  for  them !

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘴

name  :  ronan daniel greer .  date of  birth  :  dec 27th 1994  .  place  of  birth  :  new york .  occupation  :  entomologist aka bug expert .  language(s)  spoken  :  english . orientation  :  bisexual  &  biromantic  .  familial  : one half of the greer irish twins, aka born within twelve months of his older sister, naomi . has a mostly healthy yet distant relationship with both of his parents . pets  : border collie called jack .

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦

faceclaim : logan lerman . height : 5ft 10 . hair : brown, overgrown & due a cut . eye color : blue - grey . scent : jasmine, seawater, oakmoss, & cedar . markings : small, faded scar above the eyebrow . piercings : none .

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵

zodiac : capricorn . flaws : self-critical, stubborn, & finicky . strengths : hardworking, pragmatic & imaginative . drug / alcohol use : social smoker & drinker, no drug use . likes : nature (particularly insects & other animals), photography, herbal tea, reading, walking aimlessly, documentaries about space & history, being alone . dislikes : formal events, being underestimated, small talk with strangers, public speaking, unpredictability, feeling observed . mannerisms : compulsively scrapes nape of neck, wears knitwear even when it's not cold, frequent pacing (& resultant tripping over feet), speaks too quickly when talking about something he's passionate about, struggles with eye contact .

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

( tba in full ! )

ronan relocated to kilmer's cove in an effort to chase a quieter life, aided by the intrigue of discovering more about the mysterious town. with his dog, jack, in tow, ronan packed up his small apartment & waved goodbye to his fast-paced lifestyle in new york to further pursue his passion for entomology.

when he's not at the museum he can be found either walking with jack along the cliffs or coast, with his nose nestled in a book, or fussing over his personal collection of six legged friends .

personality wise, ronan has never really been the social type. although friendly enough, years of mostly enjoying his own company has left him a little out of practice when it comes to making conversation. he's very warm hearted & empathetic, though he's not the type to readily share how he's feeling, but is definitely a great listener. 100% has a dad joke sense of humour. as a man of science, he isn't proud to admit it but he does believe in the spooky happenings of kilmer & finds himself very interested in uncovering the town's history.

[itisizzy]

15 Questions + 15 Friends

Thanks for the tag @stochastiz (sorry this is a year after your post. its just that i am bad at things. but i was clearing out my email and found the email notification that you tagged me)

Are you named after anyone?

no my parents just liked the sound of the name. and then they didn't even call me that name, a nickname instead, and now hearing my government name is a bit of a jumpscare. my middle name is a family member's name.

When was the last time you cried?

recent migraine teehee

Do you have kids?

no (a fun fact about me not having children is that my old neurologist was convinced i could not start a certain med because i wasn't on birth control and what if i get pregnant? despite her having met my partner at my first appointment. and we are lesbians. but the dr knows something i don't and i will be the next virgin mary i guess)

What sports do you play/have you played?

soccer through 1st-9th grade, track 3rd-7th, tennis 9th-10th, bowling 9th-12th

Do you use sarcasm?

wouldn't dream of it!

What is the first thing you notice about people?

if they seem kind and welcoming. people are intimidating and i am just a little guy

What’s your eye color?

brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy movies

Any talents?

i would not have anything to contribute to a talent show

Where were you born?

washington state USA

What are your hobbies?

arts and crafts, cooking and baking

Do you have any pets?

not currently. hoping to get a cat with my partner in a little while

How tall are you?

5ft 2in. i have not grown since 5th grade

Favorite subject in school?

science subjects (no wonder i am in a grad program that is science stuff based)

Dream job:

i think it would be fun to be a food critic because you get to eat all sorts of food and get paid for it. and maybe even get paid to travel to try the food somewhere else, which if i am describing my dream job, would be the case in my dream. i would not be a very good food critic though because i am not picky about technique nor too discerning of subtleties in flavors. so a lot of places would be getting very high ratings that people wouldn't agree with. but also i would get to complain about rancid atmosphere in a restaurant (if your restaurant is giving industrial/modern/minimalism/etc, go to jail. bring back carpet/rugs and tablecloth and dinky artwork. trendy restaurants have nothing to absorb sound and it gets SO loud and also have no character or charm.) and then people will say yeah so true (because I am right).

Tagging?

@bardbreakfast @cafehearts @dasbroetchen @epaily @fungi-mancer @helliswaiting @hey-panini-head @lilseaturtle @lzrdprsn @mybuttonfelloff @sadbajablast @shrimpathyforthedevil @sleep-deprived-lesbian @surskip @tapirtrash (i put you all in alphabetical order for fairness)

[karrenseely]

I remember (adding to the confusion)

I remember good things about growing up too.

I remember my mom staying up with me at night when my asthma was really bad, or coming into my room, because she heard me wheezing, and giving me my medication so that I could breathe. I remember posing for a family picture, my sister standing in front of my dad, me standing in front of my mom with her arms around me and feeling so loved at that moment.

I remember being in the hospital for 2 weeks (I think) in kindergarten because my asthma was so bad and being terrified because in that day and age my parents weren't allowed to stay with me. But then my mom coming and giving me a big hug in the morning, and talking about how a girl from my class was in the hospital too with a broken leg, and led me down the hall so I could visit her (albite shyly). [even though we've long lost contact with each other, I still feel it's a bond we both share, she was at the last highschool reunion I went to many years ago as myself and we talked about that time in the hospital.] I remember going to a cabin in the woods in the high country of Arizona with my family in winter. My dad and his friend spent all day making a toboggan run for us in the backyard, and we spent the rest of the day sliding down it, there was so much joy, and when we were done, we went inside and had hot cocoa.

I remember my mom discovering something wrong with my ankle and making sure I got the medical care I needed to fix it. Seeing the orthopedist, getting surgery on the affected bone, and being in a cast for I think 4 or 5 months while they cartilage in my ankle filled in the bone, ...and yelling at me for climbing and standing on a 5ft tall cement wall in a cast... <yes I did stupid things like that, I was a kid>

I remember my mother going to bat for me w/ my first orchestra teacher who lumped me in w/ some major trouble makers that really kept disrupting the whole music class constantly, and saying none of us had any musical talent and it was a waste to try to teach us. (unfortunately, I took this to heart and never did feel like I was as good as other violinists and never really applied myself)

I remember going on a skiing trip with my father to his parents house in Oregon and getting to ski with him every other day for 3 day that week, and just having so so so much fun with him, and having hot cocoa with him and my grandparents one of those evenings as it started snowing outside.

I remember my mom playing the piano, many different times (but the memories are kind of jumbled together) and just loving how well she played. She loved to play Für Elise.

I remember being 3 or 4 in the Aurora Mall sitting in my mother's lap watching a chamber group play and my mom asking me if I wanted to play an instrument as well as they did, and saying yes, I was going to play the violin.

I remember spending time with my dad in the garage helping him and him helping me restore an antique car, and him telling me while I was polishing a bronze engine part that when I was through it would be the prettiest engine ever restored.

I remember being with my mom and trying to decide if I wanted a cabbage patch kid or an optimus prime. I decided on a cabbage patch kid, his name was Tyson. My mom got it for me, and let me bring him with me when we went out and about.

I remember retreating to my room and crying after seeing a sad movie and my father coming in and sitting down next to me on the bed. He asked if the movie made me feel so sad and I nodded. And he talked about why that was normal and that it was ok to cry.

I remember playing barbies with my sister (they were hers) and loving it, and asking to the barbies with her. I loved the clothes, and all the miniature little house items. And spending hours with her at this.

I remember learning to sail with my parents on our catamaran. And then a few years later when we hadn't used it for several years spending time with him so that we could restore it and then taking it out to sail again. I remember asking to do that because I felt like I had grown distant from him. We had a lot of fun with it together.

I remember playing board games christmas day and loving it because it was the only time my father would play games with us. (he wasn't good about losing at games, and rather than subjecting us to his bad moods when he lost, he just wouldn't play) Though I remember the last game of chess I ever played with him, I had not seen the move I could have made to win, and he was relieved, but he also showed me how and why that move would have allowed me to win, he didn't have to do that. He never played again with me after that.

I remember my father teaching me how to ride a bicycle in our backyard in Aurora.

I remember my father building a ski ramp in our front yard in Aurora with the snow so that my sister and I could practice skiing that winter.

I remember my dad learning what a neighborhood bully had done to us, and going out finding him and confronting him, he stopped bullying us so much after that.

I remember going to Camp Notawheeze which was for kids with Asthma, I went there multiple years in a row. I loved it, and was so happy it existed and my parents sent me there, (though the year my sister went to a horse focused girl scout trip I really wanted to go there, I couldn't because I was allergic to horses, and no one let me be the girl I was, I really really wished I could join my sister in the girl scouts. I made do with the boy scouts for a few years, my father even lead our troop one year, but it just wasn't the same, I don't think I made any real friends there likely because they saw the girl parts of me I couldn't completely hide.)

I remember learning about circuits with my father at the Kitchen table while we worked on a science project for the science fair. (He was an electrical engineer)

I remember my mom giving me her warm fluffy nightgown to sleep in and stay warm when I was really sick in first or second grade, and loving it to death, I think i wore that nightgown to bed every night until sometime in highschool when it was too ratty to do so. It was the only time I was allowed to "crossdress" in front of them or anyone else.

I remember my mom took me to the Phoenix symphony concerts, but the one I remember best was when they played Holst's the Planets, I remember hopping and bopping in my seat to the music and the colored lights they used during the performance. It was our time together. (what was really cool is when I was in college I got to play that piece with the UofA symphony as we toured through several cities in Mexico, unfortunately that was after my parents had disowned me, but I absolutely loved it and the fact that we were playing it.)

I remember feeling so loved and supported, and being so confused and so very hurt when things went south after I came out to them.

[alexandros-deathwood]

Hi I saw the artwork of Alexandros (it looked really cool) and I’d like to know more about your mc.

Aw thanks, took me 3 hours to draw. And luckily for you I was already on my way to do that before I saw the ask.

I shall be writing in the mindset that they are in year 6, and 18

Name: Alexandros Deathwood

Heritage: Hispanic and Irish

Gender identity: Male

Sexuality: asexual (not opposed to sex just doesn't get sexual attraction from appearances)

Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic

Birthday: 18 may 1973 (Taurus)

Blood-status:

Natural born legilimen, they realized quickly as they come from a family of legilimen.

They prefer the method of holding someone's hand to enter their mind, even if they don't need to. They see it as more polite and allows the recepicant to let go allowing them to know that I have had enough and to exist their mind.

Wand: Ebony, Unicorn hair core, 14 1/2 inches

Animagus: Black Oriental Longhair

Patronus: Thestral

Favorite creature: Thestral (it reminds them of their dog that they had witnessed pass)

Personality: loud when it comes to something they are passionate about. Caring of others. loves to learn new things. Very stubborn.

Appearance:

Height: 170.18 cms (5ft 7 inches)

Weight: ~68 kgs

Build: medium though leaning towards fit, broad shoulders, with lanky arms

Face: Strong but skinny jawline with a round chin. Large nose with a curved bridge outwards. strong round cheekbones. Noticable overbite.

Thick round lips, the top being brown, while the bottom is leaning towards are more reddish hue.

Skin: Their skin tone is light yellowish brown that is hard to draw.

Eyes: Sharp almond eyes, with slight bags, dark chocolate brown. Thick eyebrows with a medium arc.

Hair: Long Curly Black, though may appear to be dark brown in certain lights.

Dream profession: After Hogwarts they hope to become a Curse breaker

Hogwarts information:

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Favorite classes: Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, and Charms

Family:

Siblings: twin of Adam Deathwood and younger brother of Jacob Deathwood (both natural born legilimen) and Foster brother to Malcolm Deathwood

Parents: Seán Deathwood and Sofia Deathwood (Both natural born legilimen)

Love interest: Merula synde, though they hated them the first year or so they got to Hogwarts but grew an appreciation for their fierce determination overtime.

(This information is subject to change as come up with new ideas and or theories)

[thesmokingguns]

Three Loves

Three Loves

Word Count: 1202

Pairings: Izzy Stradlin X OC, Randy Rhoads X OC

Warning: Mention of Death, Cheating

Request: “The reader was with randy rhoads until his passing and Izzy finds out about her past and they talk about randy and share stories “

They say in life you’ll have three loves.

The first one is the fairytale love which was my first boyfriend in high school. We were the two kids that seemed like they should be together. Popular and good looking. Our parents were friends and we all just fit together in that neat little package. Plans of getting married after HIgh School was in our future. My mother was so sure of the ring that would grace my finger that on weekends we’d go into London to browse shops for a potential China that I’d want to get.

It was on one of those trips that I met my second love, The Hard love. It seems foolish to call Randy my hard love. There was nothing hard about loving him, It came easy. From the moment that I literally walked into him when I ducked out of the shop we were hooked. He was a skinny blonde American and I was a short brunette from outside of London but it was like sparks and fireworks despite the chilly rain.

For a week I thought about the stranger that had bumped into me outside of the shop. I begged my mother to let me go to London by myself that weekend and she did. When we saw each other on the street we both had these stupid smiles on our face because we knew that we were looking for each other.

We talked all day in a little tea shop. Randy kept ordering more and more stuff so they wouldn’t kick us out but when there were no customers left we realized we needed to go. He walked me to the train station and before I got on the train he pulled me into a kiss that had my mind spinning on the ride back home. After church the next day I broke up with my boyfriend. I knew if I could feel like that after one kiss that I couldn't stay with him.

Two weeks later I had packed a bag and was moving into a small house with him. It was easy playing house, even though my parents didn’t approve of the man that was so much older than me.

Randy was my soulmate. Everything we did was together. It must have driven everyone nuts how we became a packaged deal but now knowing how our story was cut short I appreciate how deeply he loved me.

When we got to the US I loved laying in the California sun but he pushed me to go for a degree. He always wanted better for me and believed in me when I wasn’t sure of myself. I grew up with Randy. We had plans of being in school at UCLA, him for music studying classic guitar and me for business.

Randy insisted I stay in school and not come on tour. He wanted to make sure I was getting settled in. He sent me pictures of all the places that we were going to see together. All the places he wanted to take me. I have all the letters that he sent to me in a shoebox in my closet, with the polaroids and film.

I was in our apartment sitting on a stool in the kitchen well I worked on an assignment, the radio playing in the background when I heard them say they were going to play a block of Ozzy songs and they said you had died. A plane crash. But you hated flying so how could that be true. I was confused and scared. My mind is not making sense of anything. When Sharon called me an hour later to confirm it I had screamed before dropping the phone.

I mourned Randy all through college. Not thinking of anything but getting my degree and making something of myself for him. I wanted to do something to make him proud of me. We had been together for two and a half years and it felt cruel he had been taken from me. I didn't know how I was even going to heal. Some days now I get sad over it now thinking of what had been.

But I met my last love five years later.

When I met Izzy it was a set up. A blind date. A date that I did not want to be on but got set up on by a few friends. I walked into the restaurant ready to explain to the person that I was supposed to meet that this had been a terrible mistake and I wasn’t ready to date anyone, Being lead over to the table I sat across from a man who had me talking like we were old friends in under 20 minutes. Breaking down walls that had been built and crafted to protect me.

We had our second date the next day at a small sushi place where I drank Sake for the first tme and laughed loudly at how he ate with his fingers. It didn't feel like a date as much as it felt like we were just catching up as friends.

Our third date was two days later where we went to see a show together. Izzy towered over my 5ft nothing frame and picked me up on his shoulders to see the band playing. As he walked me home to my flat that night he asked me if he could kiss me. I hadn't been kissed by a man in years so instead of responding I had cried.

Izzy had got me inside and on the couch, getting a warm cup of tea in my hands and listening to my love story with Randy. I told him everything that I could think of. And he listened to it all and when I was calm he said something that made me know I’d love him.

“You don’t have to stop loving Randy, ever. But you deserve to be loved again.”

And I did love Izzy now.

It was a different love. We both were older and had been through different situations of love before. So we were ready for each other, comfortable in ourselves and our careers. It wasn’t all consuming but more like two puzzle pieces fitting together. Solid and right.

Izzy taught me how to have fun again. He took me to shady bars where we would play pool or darts and drink beer that tasted flat for a dollar. He made me stay up past my self imposed bedtime to go to parties with celebrities that he’d whisper gossip about. He liked to wake up early and drag me with him outside, wrapping me in his arms as we sat on lawn chairs watching the sun rise together.

He loved me for who I was and always gave me room to be that person. It was the type of love that we would always have because it was a love that was truly with my best friend.

I had been lucky to love three amazing people and have three amazing stories. But as I adjusted the white veil I knew Izzy was the one that I’d grow old with. He was my last love.

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust Pt.5 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N invites Josh over to work on a project while Peter goes back to his Spiderman duties which sends Y/N into a spiral.

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: WOWIE I really stayed up all night to finish this ha. Anyway! This gives more backstory about Y/N and what happened with her biological parents and ughhhh things are moving yall! Also leave comments if it’s good and if it’s bad also leave comments 🥰

Warnings: Mention of blood, death, panic attack, ANGST 

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || 

part seven || part eight || epilogue 

Even though the Avengers Complex was your home, it was much more than a place where you crashed after school. You had to keep in mind that to any normal person, the idea of seeing alien technology in use or friends from galaxies away wasn’t an average Thursday. 

You never thought any of this was particularly strange until now as you got the text from Josh that he was parked in the back lot of the building like you had told him to. 

Since you and Josh were partners for anatomy, you thought it would be obvious that you would be staying at his house to work on your project but your dad had other ideas. 

The sheer thought of you going to a boy’s house to “study” was absurd, especially since Josh’s parents were always out of town for business. You never thought your dad would ever let any of your friends into the complex, especially a boy but in the name of science, it wasn’t too hard to convince him. 

You quietly opened the side door as Josh slid in behind you and let out a low whistle. 

“ Not too shabby Stark, although I gotta say, the lawn is looking a bit wild,” Josh smiled as he readjusted his backpack straps,” if you need me to come over to cut it, I charge $9.00 an hour.”

“ In that case, your first shift starts next week,” You teased as you led him to the main set of elevators in the building. 

You couldn’t help but feel on edge as Josh followed close behind you. You had never brought anyone over and you were scared that bringing Josh would make things turn into a big deal. You knew how protective some of the other Avengers were of you and you just prayed silently that you wouldn’t run into any of them, especially Peter. 

You weren’t sure how Peter would take it if he found out you and Josh were getting closer. 

Peter was in a fragile state and who knew what little thing could set him off. You were even more worried that Peter would find out about the party tomorrow night because it wasn’t like you could invite him along. 

The idea of mixing hormonal teenagers and alcohol was a recipe for disaster but the damage that could be made from Peter’s self-destructive state could be even bigger. 

As much as you knew how badly things could turn out with Josh in the complex, you knew you couldn’t let Peter’s actions affect what went on in your academic life and at the end of the day, Josh was just a classmate. 

Josh looked all around him, taking in everything from the colorful array of gadgets neatly built into the walls to the natural light coming from the sleek windows. 

“ I feel so out of place- am I underdressed?” Josh asked as a few lab technicians walked past giving you and Josh an odd glance,” and how do you not get lost in a place this big.” 

You pressed the elevator button and gave Josh a reassuring smile,” Trust me, they’ve seen weirder things around here. Like, way weirder things.”

When the elevator doors opened, the two of you walked in and you started pointing to the elevator buttons,” So a quick tour! We’re on the main floor which basically is used for important meetings and conferences, the second floor is for the gym and pool, the third is where some of the bedrooms are, fourth is strictly for the scientists, the fifth is the labs, and the other floors are for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Also, the basement has all the cool gadgets I’m not allowed to play with but I’m convinced it’s just where the guys all hang out and drink.” 

“ You have an indoor pool?” 

“ That’s what caught your attention?” You laughed as Josh nodded enthusiastically.

“ Well yeah! Do you even use it? I vaguely remember that when you were twelve, you almost drowned in 4ft water at someone’s pool party,” Josh said as you pressed the third button. 

“ It was 5ft but yes I know how to swim...my dad made me take lessons after that,” You mumbled as you remembered that experience vividly,” I tried lifeguarding last summer at that super fancy hotel near Greenwich but the training was too expensive so I just took a CPR course at the YMCA and lifeguarded there.” 

“ Did you ever have to save anyone?” Josh asked curiously as the glass elevators moved up towards your floor. 

You nodded as Josh’s mouth dropped,” Yup, I had to give CPR and everything. Lucky for them, saving lives runs in my family.” 

As the elevator doors opened up to your floor, you made sure to carefully scan the hallway before stepping out. Peter was supposed to be up in the labs all-day so that gave you enough time to work on the project with Josh while keeping Peter at a safe distance. 

As you were approaching the door to your room, the fridge door in the kitchen closed and revealed Peter with an IV pole on his left side and an apple in the other hand. 

“ Peter!” You said nervously as you took a small step in front of Josh, almost as if you were covering him up from Peter’s line of vision,” What are you doing here? I thought you were up in the labs?” 

Peter looked past you and eyed Josh up and down before holding up the fruit, walking towards the two of you,” Um, I needed something to eat- Who is he?” 

Peter was constantly feeling some type of distress whether it was chest pains or headaches but now that he clearly caught you hiding a boy from him, the pain felt off. 

You had never brought over any of your friends to the headquarters before so to Peter, this was already a red flag. Peter felt like his body was on high alert as thousands of scenarios were going through his head. 

Josh stepped forward and held his hand out for Peter to shake,” Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Josh. Y/N and I go to Manhattan Prep together.”

Peter looked down at Josh’s hand for a moment before shaking it hard. Josh winced but played off his pain as he pulled his hand away and stuffed it back into his pockets. You could feel the one-sided tension between the two as you looked over to Peter to try to ease him but his eyes were glued to Josh. 

You cleared your throat as you turned to face Josh,“ Peter is a part of my dad’s internship program so he spends most of his time here at the complex. He’s pretty much a part of the family and he’s a really good friend, right Peter? ” 

Peter nodded as he tried to calm his nerves down, his quick glance to Josh was almost as if he was begging his body to put his guard down.  He couldn’t control his body and this was the first time the lovedust had forced him into a territorial state. 

“ No kidding, that’s awesome man. My buddy from Midtown was telling me that he knew a guy who was accepted into the Stark Internship,” Josh said as Peter stood up a little straighter. 

“ Oh really? Who?”

“ Flash Thompson, do you know him?” Josh asked as Peter looked over at you, almost as a warning. 

While Josh was trying to be civil towards Peter, Peter couldn’t help but feel the pit in his stomach sink lower and lower with the thought of Josh even associating with someone like Flash. 

“ As a matter of fact, I do know Flash,” Peter said smoothly, his speech hardly hesitating,” you sure know how to pick friends.” 

You and Josh could tell that Peter was giving a dig towards him but Josh quickly let it go as he tried to ease the situation. 

“ Well... it was nice to meet you Peter, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine,” Josh said as he gave a genuine smile,” I’m sure Y/N already mentioned this to you but if you’re not busy or anything, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow and you should come out.”

Fuck. 

Peter looked at you for a moment before returning a small smile to Josh,” Thanks, I’ll think about it.” 

“ Um Josh, can you just wait in my room for a second?” You asked as Josh looked between the two of you and nodded. 

You didn’t want to be upset at Peter for feeling hostile towards Josh because you knew he really couldn’t help himself. It was eating away at you that you were the reason Peter was acting so jealous but come on, did he really have a reason to?

Once Josh closed the door behind him, you turned back to Peter and looked down at the IV that was in his arm. 

“ Is everything okay?” You asked as Peter looked down at his arm,” that looks pretty serious.”

“ Yeah… I’ve been having some problems but nothing your dad can’t fix” Peter deflected softly before looking over to your bedroom door,” so Josh...is he a friend?”

Peter knew he was walking on thin ice asking about Josh but he couldn’t bring himself to just go back in the labs and worry about the two of you all day. 

“ He’s just a friend Peter, we have a school project and we’re partners,” You reassured him as Peter felt almost relieved,” and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the party, I didn’t think you would want to go but I should’ve asked.”

Peter studied your expression for a moment before looking down at his feet. It was hard to tell if you were telling the truth, maybe you didn’t want him to come. School project or not, Peter felt threatened by Josh, even if Josh was trying his best to be as nice as possible. 

“ It’s okay, you’re right. Parties aren’t my thing anyway,” Peter shrugged as you bit the inside of your cheek.

You weren’t sure why you felt so guilty but whatever you were feeling, you hated how much it was stirring inside of you. You never wanted Peter to feel left out and you could easily tell that it was bothering him as much as it was bothering you. 

“ Maybe if you’re not busy tonight, we can watch a movie together. I checked the kitchen this morning and there’s a ton of frozen pizzas if you’re up for it?” You suggested as Peter tapped his fingers against the side of his leg. 

Peter wanted to jump at the offer, any excuse to hang out with you alone literally set Peter so close to having a cardiac arrest in the best way possible. While he was getting the hang of controlling his words around you, it felt like the more time you spent with him, the more he felt himself fall for you. 

“ I’m actually going to patrol tonight,” Peter said in a low whisper as he looked back at your bedroom door,” I haven’t been on the streets in a long time and I think I feel well enough to go.” 

“ Are you sure you’re ready? You’re literally hooked up to an IV bag Peter,” You said as Peter subtly pushed the IV pole behind him as if he could hide it. 

“ I won’t do anything crazy, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be out for a couple of hours and we can hang out when I get back,” Peter said as you hesitantly nodded. 

You understood that being a superhero meant that you couldn’t take sick days but this was an extreme circumstance. To you, Spiderman could wait but for Peter, that was a large part of his livelihood that he had put aside for too long. 

You wanted to tell him not to go, better yet, if you could hide every single one of his Spiderman suits you would. It didn’t sit right with you that with everything going on with his health that he would jeopardize it but you knew it wasn’t your call. 

“ Okay, but please text me updates so I know you’re safe. Things have been so crazy lately and I-”

“ Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be okay,” Peter interrupted as he felt his heart grow heavy,” I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

You didn’t know why the thought of Peter going out was so scary but before you could think things over in your head, your feet stepped forward and you pulled Peter into a tight hug. You rested your chin against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply as if hugging Peter would calm down your nerves for the rest of your life. 

Without a second thought, Peter drew his arms over your body and held you close to his chest. His heart beat even faster than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you even tighter than before. 

                                                         ----------

You checked your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour as you grew more and more anxious. 

Peter had been gone for hours to go patrol while you and Josh were still working on the project. It was eating away at you that Peter wasn’t back yet and every time another minute passed without an update, you felt like you were closer to losing your mind. 

Even before Peter made contact with the lovedust, you would still secretly pray that he got home in one piece. When everyone you knew and loved had a career that put themselves in the line of danger, thoughts of not having them around anymore plagued you whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself. 

You had lost people before to freak accidents like your biological parents who had passed away when you were old enough to know how death worked. You couldn’t imagine not having Tony as your dad but some nights whenever you were filled to the brim with anxiety,  you wondered what your life would’ve been like if your parents weren’t killed during that home invasion. 

When you’ve lost people, it never gets easier, terror plagues you. The fear of someone you know getting hurt was by far scarier than anything Hollywood could recreate with CGI and yet, it was slowly looming over you. 

Superheros were literally your life and you weren’t mentally prepared that one day, something bad could happen and you could lose them forever. With Peter, you weren’t sure if it was because of how close the two of you were now but the fear of losing him was bigger than any other scenario you had crafted in your head. 

“ Is everything okay? You seem a little out of it,” Josh said as you looked away from your phone and back towards your laptop. 

“ Yeah, I’m good, my body just feels so tired. I’ve read so much medical terminology within the past couple of hours and now everything is jumbling together,” You sighed as you looked down at Josh who was sprawled out onto your bedroom floor with a textbook resting against his stomach. 

You never realized how comfortable your floor was but seeing Josh on your floor looking as effortless as ever was a shock to your system. When Josh caught your gaze, you turned back to your laptop and rested your cheek against your palm to try to cover the blush that was creeping onto your cheeks. 

As you rested your cheek against your propped up hand, you could feel your eyelids get heavier with each passing second. Josh noticed from his spot on the ground and sat upon his hands, watching you ever so intently. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed once you closed your eyes but once you felt a blanket drape across your shoulders, you stirred quietly. 

You held your breath as you waited for anything else but all you could hear was paper shuffling around. You peeked your eye out and saw Josh crouched down on your floor, carefully putting his textbooks and notes into his backpack, being careful not to wake you. 

Instead of waking up to say goodbye, you pretend to be asleep as if you were too nervous to even confront Josh this late. The papers stopped shuffling and as you tried to keep your breathing patterns even, you felt Josh’s hand rub your shoulder softly before walking out of the room. 

Once your bedroom door had closed, you hesitantly opened your eyes and gave a quick peek to make sure Josh was really gone. 

You exhaled loudly, not even aware that you were holding it in all this time. You let the blanket fall onto the chair before walking over to your large window that pointed towards where Josh had parked. 

You knew you should’ve walked him down after everything he had done for your project but the least you could do now was to make sure he left the complex in one piece. After a few minutes of patiently looking out the window, you saw Josh’s car pull out of the long driveway and headed down towards the front gate. 

Your mind instantly traveled back to Peter as you checked your phone again but this time you went back to your messages and looked at all of the unread messages you had left for him. 

5:12pm || Y/N: update me when you get to your post! 

5:29pm || Y/N: oh don’t swing and text loser!!!!

6:01pm || Y/N: you there yet? 

6:36pm || Y/N: don’t make me spam text u nerd

6:57pm || Y/N: im gonna just pretend you’re too busy to txt me back-be safe!

7:40pm || Y/N: helloooo?!?! Is everything okay

8:00pm || Y/N: i will leak your identity fool txt me back 

8:40pm || Y/N: whatever idc anymore

8:44pm || Y/N: still haven’t heard back from you, you dead? 

9:06pm || Y/N: ur freaking me out dude, any updates? 

9:33pm || Y/N: there was a fire near the museum are you okay?!?! The news said you were there 

9:35pm || Y/N: peter????

9:50pm || Y/N: call me im worried

10:02pm || Y/N: ur scaring me pls respond 

You cursed under your breath as you pressed the call button and placed it to your ear. After a few rings, Peter’s voicemail came on and you didn’t even bother to listen to it all the way. You had already left so many voicemails and at this point, there was nothing you could do but wait for him. 

You were filled with dread as you scooted back into your bed and refreshed the news pages on your phone. 

Spiderman Stops an Armed Gunman Outside Plaza

You knew that it wasn’t healthy for you to keep scrolling online but you needed to know if Peter was safe. You hated the feeling of not being kept into the loop and Peter wasn’t the type to completely ignore text messages unless that meant he was in real trouble, what could you do to help him, you don’t have any powers you’re just a teenager-

You took a deep breath in as you shut your phone off and stared up at the ceiling to clear your head. 

Peter is smart. He’s fast. He will be fine. You kept repeating it over and over again like a lullaby and with some luck, you could feel your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second with Peter being the last thing you thought before falling into a deep sleep. 

You held your hand over your mouth to try and stop the sobs that rocked your body from underneath the bed. You could hear your dad begging, pleading to spare his wife before the sound of a gunshot went off.��

It was louder than you remembered almost as if the sky let out a roaring thunder that shook the whole house. You could hear your dad struggling with the gunman before another shot rang out, this time even louder. 

The glowing stars that were stuck to your ceiling shook off once your bedroom door had slammed opened and you prayed silently, wanting the nightmare to end. 

You did your best to be quiet as you watched his feet walk slowly to the bed, almost at a teasing pace like he knew you were underneath there. Everytime the nightmare played in your head, the attacker took on a different appearance. Sometimes it was someone you knew, other times it was just a passing face on the street. 

But everytime you had this nightmare, one thing never changed. The shoes, black sneakers with white laces and depending on how terrible the nightmare decided to be, you could spot the splatter of blood against the heels. 

You watched as the man walked behind your bed and you let out a scream as you felt his hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you roughly against the carpet. As you scratched at the attackers face, your sob got caught in the middle of your throat. 

The attacker always took a different appearance and this time, it was Peter. 

You kicked and screamed as hard as you could as he tried to pin you down, his weapon pressed into the side of your rib as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew it was a dream and you were so used to letting it ride out or until you fell out of bed but with Peter staring at you as he dangled your life between his fingers, all you wanted to do was wake up. 

All you could do was continue to fight back through your tears as he kept saying your name, taunting you. 

“ Let go of me!”

“ Y/N! I got you!” 

“ It’s me Peter!” 

“Y/N!” 

You shot up from out of your bed, almost knocking heads with another figure as you let out a choked sob. You didn’t realize your fists were still swinging until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your body, cradling you. 

The memory of the attacker was still so vivid in your head and all you wanted to do was get away,“ Let me go!” You screamed as you struggled against their grip as they held you even tighter,” get off of me!” 

“ Y/N! Y/N! It’s me! It’s me! You’re okay!” Peter shouted as he let his grip go before cupping his hands on either side of your face,” open your eyes! Hey! It’s me, you’re okay!” 

You squirmed from his lap as you opened your eyes to see Peter in front of you, the actual Peter. As relieved as you were, you felt your chest tighten as you continued to cry and without a second thought, you leaned into Peter’s chest and buried your wet face into his t-shirt. 

Peter held you tighter as he rested one hand against the back of your head and the other was snaked around your waist. He smoothed down your hair as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm you down,” It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here, I got you.” 

You hadn’t felt so relieved to see anyone until now and as you tried to control your cries, you felt yourself slowly transitioning back into reality. You inhaled his scent as you dug your face into his neck and you never thought a smell could bring you so much peace. 

Relief wasn’t even what you were feeling, it was more than that. You couldn’t put it into words and it was heavier than the idea of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Release. To sob into someone’s embrace where you knew you would be safe no matter what felt heavenly and with every sob you let out, you felt yourself separate from the nightmare altogether. 

Peter had to hold back his own tears as he held you and slowly rocked your body back and forth like a baby. He wasn’t sure if it was comforting you but it definitely put Peter at ease. 

Just minutes ago, he had just checked on you to see if you were still awake and once he saw that you were sleeping, he went back to his room to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until he was putting on his pajamas when the hair on his arm stood up seconds before you actually let out a scream only he could sense. 

Peter literally scrambled to your room and had his web-shooters ready because from what he could hear, he thought someone was attacking you. It wasn’t until he saw that you were having a nightmare that he quickly threw his web-shooters to the side and tried to wake you up. 

It was one thing to be in love with someone and to go through the motions as if it was a normal occasion but this was different. Seeing you so vulnerable and completely terrified utterly broke Peter in half and he knew for sure that it wasn’t all because of the lovedust. 

“ You’re safe Y/N, you’re okay.” 

“ Don’t worry I got you.” 

“ Just breathe for me, okay?” 

For what seemed like forever, Peter cradled you and whispered into your ear to let you know that you were okay and that he was there for you. He wanted you to tell him everything about the nightmare and what had triggered it but he knew that it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare with the occasional boogeyman. 

You thought back to your nightmare one last time as you pictured a hazy Peter attacking you and it almost sent you into another panic attack. Peter could feel how tense you got and his grip loosened so he could look back at you. 

Your eyes were puffy from crying so much and your cheeks were flushed red but Peter thought you were absolutely beautiful. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, there was so much to say yet so little at the same time. 

“ Thank you,” You whispered ever so softly as you craned your neck up and pressed a soft kiss against Peter’s cheek. 

You both knew that it wasn’t an ordinary thank you but for Peter, he didn’t need to analyze it any further. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Peter’s heartbeat that rang throughout his body. 

From pure exhaustion of crying and anxiety, you felt even more tired than before and Peter could feel you slipping back to sleep. He didn’t want to let you go, if he could, he would hold you in his arms forever if it meant keeping you safe and sound. 

Once Peter heard your soft snores, he held you for a second longer before carefully laying you back down into your bed. Like second nature, Peter pulled the covers back over your body and tucked a strand of hair that was danging in the middle of your face behind your ear. 

Peter ignored the sore feeling that was lingering in his back and forearms from holding you up and lightly dragged his fingers across his own cheek. He was way into deep now. 

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[aricazorel]

OC Questionnaire

I was tagged by @enasallavellan Thank You! This was really fun!

Answering for my Dragon Age: Inquisition OC from my ongoing fanfic series on AO3.

(This got a little long so more below the cut)

THE BASICS:

Character’s name:

Anyssa McBride

Role in story:

Inquisition Historian from Earth (MGIT story; Anchor series on AO3)

Physical description:

5ft 6in, wavy honey blonde hair that currently reaches midway down her back (on Earth it was roughly shoulder length, ice blue eyes

Age:

She is 26 when she arrives in Thedas and currently is 29 in my story. (She will be 30 shortly after the events set in Trespasser)

MBTI/Enneagram Personality Type:

I took two different tests when I created Anyssa and both labeled her as ‘ENFJ’—the giver or mentor. (I would argue that while she tested as an extrovert she does appreciate introvertedness and the current situation dictates which she chooses to be)

INTERNAL LIFE:

What is their greatest fear?

Being used and taken for granted

Inner motivation:

To help others and support them, hoping to see them happy

Kryptonite:

Having her self-doubts realized

What is their misbelief about the world?

Anyssa believes that everyone wants help and they just do not know how to ask for it. Unfortunately she has found out that some people just don’t want help no matter how sincere you are.

Lesson they need to learn:

She needs to learn to trust herself. Those around her know of her past on Earth and have made efforts to help her learn that. But no matter what, she still struggles with it, sometimes to the point of questioning whether she deserves the life she now has.

What is the best thing in their life?

A group of people who love and care for her. In other words, Friends

What is the worst thing in their life?

A history on Earth of those that were supposed to care for her, using her instead…and abuse. After her parents died in a car crash during her junior in high school, she went to live with her aunt and uncle who proceeded to steal the money her parents had left her for college. Later she entered into a relationship with a seemingly charming man named Bryan who turned out to be emotionally and physically abusive towards her. After two years she worked up the courage to attempt to leave. After multiple tries, she finally succeeded only to end up in Thedas.

What do they most often look down on people for?

Taking advantage of others, being cruel/mean to others, judging other without taking into consideration what they have been through

What makes his/her/their heart feel alive?

Writing stories based on those around her, sharing her knowledge with people who appreciate it, learning about the cultures and people around her, horseback riding, rock climbing, exploring the tunnels under Skyhold

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way?

The people she had come to know as friends in Thedas. They have become her ‘found’ family—something she thought to never have again. The last person to make her feel that way is Cullen. He always knows the right thing to say or the right thing to do to let her know she is loved.

Top three things they value most in life?

Acceptance by others, support of others, friendship

EXTERNAL LIFE:

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with and why?

No personal items from Earth made it through the rift to Thedas with Anyssa. What she has come to cherish most is the small items her friends have given her in an effort to make she feel at home. Most notably is the Cullen’s coin she wears around her neck and a stuffed dragon named Puff he gave her before they ever began their relationship.

Describe a typical outfit for them from top to bottom.

For her normal duties as historian, she wears simple dresses common to Ferelden fashion as well as blouses and skirts. For more formal affaires she wears one the many dresses Vivienne had made for her that incorporates Orlesian, Fereldan, and Free Marcher styles. For when she explores the caverns below Skyhold or travels away from the keep, she prefers typical traveling clothes and pants over skirts.

Most of her clothes are shades of light blue which Cullen said matches her eyes. She also wears purple in various shades being as it is her favorite color.

What names or nicknames have they been called throughout their life?

Nyssa and Nys. Most of her friends have called her Nyssa at some point in her life. Nys is only used by Cullen. He has also been known to use the endearment “sweetling” after they began their relationship.

What is their method of manipulation?

Anyssa isn’t known for manipulating anyone out right. Most of the time, she will rephrase an argument point to make the other party believe they are making a choice freely. This is not something she employs with people she is friends with or allied with. It a trick she holds in reserve when dealing with unreasonable nobles, especially when she has been called on to aid Josephine.

However, she is not above manipulating Cullen to either ensure he does not take on too much or because she would like some private time with him. A bright smile and repeatedly saying ‘please’ usually works. The first time Cullen realized he could not say no to her was when she asked to see a real dragon. In the end, he gifted her a stuffed dragon she named Puff and then took her to Crestwood to see the dragon there (from a safe distance of course.)

Describe their daily routine.

Anyssa’s routine various from day to day depending on the work load and what other duties she’s been tasked with. Normally, she holds any meetings in the morning and she makes time to watch the sparring ring from the battlements (especially if Cullen is participating). After that she may conduct any research she can on historical items the Inquisition has acquired and writes any correspondence to allies that might have knowledge she does not. She frequently checks in with Dagna in the Undercroft and reports the archanist’s progress to those interested. (Most people tend to shy away from Dagna but Anyssa finds her fascinating and funny.) She often finds Cullen for lunch and reminds him to eat. Her afternoons might involve cataloging artfifacts and tomes recovered in the hopes of returning them to their proper owners. If time allows, she can be found exploring and mapping the caverns and tunnels below Skyhold much to Cullen’s dismay. Throughout her day though, Anyssa has learned to work in time for her friends as well as for herself (though it has been a struggle in learning to do so)

Their go-to cure for a bad day?

There a several different answers to this. One is Sera. Both Anyssa and the Red Jenny enjoy pranks. Frequently Anyssa may provide the idea or inspiration while Sera carries out the actual pranks itself.

Horseback riding alone or with Cullen.

Playing Wicked Grace with Varric and/or Bull, Blackwall, and the Chargers. (Drinking and storytelling maybe involved.)

Reading a book with Cullen.

GOALS:

How are they dissatisfied with their life?

Overall, Anyssa is exceedingly happy with her life in Thedas. It is something she never thought to have again after her parents death and the abusive relationship with her ex-boyfriend. She had friends, a family, a career, someone to love her (whom she loves with all her heart), and a new purpose in life. If there was one thing that she would be dissatisfied with, it would be the knowledge that despite all the good the Inquisition did there will still be people who still cling to the old ways. In other words, she wishes that everyone could find the acceptance and support she has found but knows that the old ways are easier for some to hold onto instead of embracing change.

What would bring them true happiness or contentment?

Finally realizing that she did nothing wrong and it was not her fault that anyone left her or treated her poorly. Those were decisions made by others and she is not responsible for that. Cullen has aided her greatly in making progress with this but it is a struggle she will always have. But then again she has found a support network and love, so in the end she is already happy/content.

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality?

This is something Anyssa initially struggled with. Cullen was the first to admit he loved her and it took seven months before she could say it back. After that, they talked circles around making concrete plans about their future. Finally, they decided to just make the plans as they went (making a list of things they wanted.) When Cullen decided to start a Templar sanctuary after retirement, that solidified things. Now all that remains to be done is see the Inquisition through to the end and then begin their future.

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already?

Her past relationship colored how she reacted to Cullen’s affections and made her question whether she could trust his words. (she learned to trust his actions first and then his words)

Haven and Skyhold were the places she first felt welcomed in Thedas, like she had a real home again.

She questioned whether she could be lead historian in a world she knew nothing of, questioning even the skills she had learned on Earth.

How do they feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of?

Anyssa has decided to focus on what she can do in the present and prepare for the future she wants. She has begun making plans for how to transfer her skills to a slightly different career path aft her the conclusion of the Inquisition and has told Cullen she will support his dream of a Templar sanctuary while pursuing her own path. To ensure that happens, she will more than likely rely on Cullen for reminders to believe in herself and trust that she knows what she is doing. In the end, it all comes down to trust for Anyssa and her Commander is the one she trusts the most.

Tagging @commanderadorkable, @shadoedseptmber, @raflesia65, @noire-pandora and anyone else who would like to play! No pressure, just fun!

[madzfm]

˛ ⠀ * ⠀ ★ ⠀  JESSICA ALEXANDER  .   CIS FEMALE  .  SHE / HER      ⧽ ⠀ have  you  seen  the  786  latest  post  ?  sources  say  they  have  some  serious  dirt  on  the  child  of  a  big  time   COUNTRY MUSIC STARS  .   they  haven’t  revealed  who  it was  yet  but  my  best  is  on  MADISON  DARLING  !  ever  since  that  last  update  about  how  she  ALLEGEDLY GOT CAUGHT SPORTING A BABY BUMP LAST YEAR BEFORE GHOSTING EVERYONE  i  don’t  put  anything  pass  them  .  i  mean  ,  these  celebrity  kids  are  just  out  of  control  .   they  do  whatever  they  want  ,  whenever  they  want  and  are  ungrateful  in  the  process  !!  i  mean  take  MADDIE  for  example  ,  they’re  a  TWENTY THREE  year  old  DANCER  ,  and  what  did  they  do  to  get  there  ?  have  famous  parents  !  like  hello  ,  just  because  you HAVE BEEN IN MUSIC VIDEOS WITH A-LIST MUSICIANS doesn’t  mean  you  actually  deserved  it  .   i’m   glad   the   786   is   taking   them   down   a   notch   .   it’s   about   time   someone   does   .

             𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐂  /  𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓  / 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

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hey ... hey ... how y’all doin’ ?  i’m sooo excited to be here , besties ! sorry i’m late with the intro , it’s been a looooong weekend for me but i’m eager to get the ball rolling . so here’s the rundown , the google doc has a full bio + more stats + headcanons but i don’t expect anyone to actually read all that nonsense so i’ve tried my best to sum it up below ( it’s still kinda long tho i’m sorry y’all i ramble too much ). i’m always down to talk plots & threw a few wanted connection ideas at the bottom , so feel free to hmu on discord any time <3 but yes okay let’s get into it

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━━     ˊ     *     𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  . .

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦����. madison dallas darling .   𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬). maddie , mads .   𝐝𝐨𝐛. april 14 , 1998 .   𝐚𝐠𝐞. twenty - three .   𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜. aries sun , libra moon , leo asc .   𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫. cis female .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬. she / her .   𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. bisexual .  𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞. nashville , tn .   𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 5ft 5in .  𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. high school diploma .   𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. dancer / realty tv personality .   𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬. robert “robbie” darling - father . dixie darling - mother . delaney darling - sister .   𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬. compassionate , imaginative , family-oriented  , devoted , generous , sympathetic , idealistic , self critical , naive , competitive , indecisive , impressionable , elusive , sensitive .

━━     ˊ     *     𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 . .

tw : things like shitty controlling parents , injury , & pregnancy are mentioned

   born & raised in nashville , tennessee , madison is the daughter of two country music icons ( basically blake shelton & miranda lambert ) & has only ever known a life in the spotlight . her parents were a widely adored it couple who shared their lives with millions of viewers across the world with their reality tv show . at 7pm cst you could tune in to watch robbie & dixie raise their two daughters - having some good ol’ wholesome family fun while juggling responsibilities that come with being famous artists . to any outsider looking in , they seemed like the perfect family . a loving father , a supportive mother , two prim & proper daughters that collected accolade after accolade in every pageant & talent competition they ever entered . but you shouldn’t believe everything you see on tv , even if it’s deceptively labeled as “reality” .

   when the cameras weren’t rolling , the darling sisters were left under their mother’s restrictive control . dixie darling treated her daughters more like dolls than living beings , madison & delaney were basically pretty little accessories . while robbie never dared to mistreat his daughters , he was around a lot less than the show made it seem - often touring the world rather than spending quality time with his girls . plus , dixie & robbie seemed to endlessly fight with one another - nearly every childhood memory madison has of her parents involves them yelling . if she wanted to see them looking happy & in love , she’d have to tune in to the fabricated reality on their own show to get a taste of what a happy , loving family looks like . 

   you can’t be a child of dixie darling without being exploited in some way . while delaney was pushed into the music scene , madison was shoved into the world of dance . she took every class that was offered & practiced for hours upon hours to perfect her craft . her sister had taken after their folks with the singing voice of an angel & the looks to rival that of miss universe , meanwhile maddie was good for two things : dance & doing whatever her mother said . so when dixie said to twirl , she twirled , when she said do a grand jeté, maddie asked how high & then over performed like the good little girl she was trained to be .

   it wasn’t until her parents got divorced & maddie moved to miami to be with her sister , her father , & her father’s new girlfriend that she sort of came out ( or more accruately described as dragged out ) of her timid , non - confrontational , subservient shell . with a longer leash , she had more freedom to roam far & wide . no one tried to tell her what to do or who to talk to & considering she was just a privileged teenager with endless funds & the status to get away with just about anything , you can imagine how badly that went . every mistake she made was broadcasted onto people’s televisions or headlined in tabloids . it was stressful , growing up & messing up all under the watchful gaze of millions of people who felt entitled to berate her for her poor life decisions . just because they watched her grow up on tv didn’t mean they actually knew anything about her . & yet so many people shared their unsolicited opinions on her & her life . it drove her insame .

   maddie wasn’t handling the stress of being well known very well . she wanted a break from it all , to just go somewhere far away where no one knew her name & just live by herself . it was a silly dream . nothing she’d ever actively pursue . but the universe has a funny way of giving us a taste of what we think we want just to teach us a lesson . 

   so over a year ago , maddie found out that she was pregnant . it was a shock to say the least . she kept it a close guarded secret from everyone but her sister for awhile . not only was it a life changing development , but it was one thing that she was determined not to share with the rest of the world . with the idea of running away in continuous loop in the back of her mind , she came up with a plan to buy herself some time . she faked a really bad injury during a performance & let the media run with saying she might not be able to walk , let alone dance ever again . pushing the cover story even further , she claimed to be in need of intense physical therapy & sought after it in a luxurious private lodge in new zealand . that’s where she stayed during her year away , letting no outsiders come visit while she figured out how she was going to move forward with this baby growing inside of her .

   so maddie finally got the break she was looking for even if it wasn’t under the circumstances that she would’ve liked . but she adapted to the situation . in her time away , she went through the entire pregnancy but it was basically decided for her by her parents that it was best to give the baby up for adoption . the little girl would be in good care by a couple that was a family friend of the darlings . better to bless someone who wanted a baby but couldn’t have one than for maddie to keep her daughter when she wasn’t in a place to take care of her . it broke her heart , honestly . she had grown quite attached to the baby & even entertained the idea of being a single mom even though she knew her own mom would never let that happen - it would go against the strict narrative that they try to put out there about the darling family .

   after a year away , maddie is back in miami without anyone knowing what really happened . she keeps using the “injury” as the excuse for her absence from the spotlight . anyone really close to her might be able to tell that something’s off , but she’s trying so hard to act like everything is fine & nothing has changed at all . she might even be able to get away with her lies - if it wasn’t for that damn 786 website threatening to spill the tea & make her life hell .

━━     ˊ     *     𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 & 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 . .

   a wannabe good girl gone bad but harbors a deep rooted fear of being a disappointment & a failure due to her mom’s strict parenting style . so like she wants to be rebellious & come across as carefree but internally she’s panic screaming always ( honestly relatable like same , girl )

   well - mannered in a sweet southern belle kind of way with her please’s & thank you’s & calling everyone ma’am & sir out of respect & what not

   biiiig mom friend energy . she just wants to make sure that everyone is taken care of . she can get very protective & a little helicopter parent-y with her friends . it probably has something to do with control issues that she doesn’t realize she has but we don’t have time to unpack that rn akjsdbk

   before her year away i want to say that she was a lot more people please-y / overly eager to please ?? like rarely said no to people that asked for favors , always agreed to any plans people invited her to out of courtesy , & what have you . but now i see her as being a little less patient than before & a little bit more unhinged & quick to shut down or snap

   guillable ! naive ! dumb as hell ! believes that everyone was raised with the same values as her & has a big of a heart like she does so she’s easily subjectable to getting her feelings hurt & i say let it happen !!

   wants to be mysterious so bad but there is very little known about her & her life that isn’t public knowledge . she could get shit on by a bird & it’ll probably become a twitter highlight idk she just wants to believe she’s imperceptible & acts all evasive in order to keep her private life private but that rarely ever has the desired effect

    one of those annoying rich & famous people that’s like “i wasn’t meant to be famous . i was meant to have a normal life & be a normal person” but like !! she is actually so out of touch with reality & probably couldn’t tell you how much milk is at the grocery store because she has people to do mundane day to day things for her . spoiled little privileged rich girl , let’s be real . her dad tried to keep her humble , idk what happened

   dance style / career is pretty much inspired by maddie ziegler but also not really bc i am very picky & choosey about which aspects of her career i’m pulling from

   boring on social media because she hardly ever posts & is very short with her captions & tweets when she does make an appearance online every blue moon 

   dodges questions about what she’s been up to while she was gone like she’s in the matrix or something . all that pr training her mom put her through when she was younger is coming in handy because she has not given a single honest , straight answer in the months she’s been back . would rather talk about anything else than herself right now so don’t be surprised if she pulls some random subject changes out of her ass if people get nosy . i’m sure the common conspiracy is that maddie was so embarrassed by the fall on stage that she went into hiding 

   delaney is the kim kardashian & britney spears of the family while madison is the kourtney & the jamie lynn xoxo

━━     ˊ     *     𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 . .

ride or die , bad influence , frenemies , family friends , good influence , confidant , rival , girl squad , non judging breakfast club , childhood friend , unlikely friend , exes on good terms , exes on bad terms , neighbors , pr friendship , pr enemy , social media mutuals , party buddies , secret friend , secret hook - up , crush , friends with benefits , adventure buddy , enemy with benefits , dance partners , mentors , mentees , sibling like relationship , will they won’t they , people suspicious of her & her supposed “injury” , father of her baby 👀 jk ..... unless

[soranort-headcanons]

About the new Dark Road characters

Before we get into each individual character, here is some random thoughts

Disappointed that Yen Sid didn’t make it, but part of me admits that that had a low chance of happening due to him being a Disney character and all.

Part of me is also sad that they added more characters into the mix, because we lose the whole Eraqus and Xehanort growing as the only apprentices (with maybe Yen Sid added in) dynamic. At the same time, the idea that these two spent so much time with each other that no one wanted to be in their general vicinity while they were in a chess match and generally only cared about each other to the point that Xehanort only talks about Eraqus in his reports, is a hilarious idea that really adds fuel to the shipping fire for fans. Fun. 

There is six apprentices in total, just like in UX (Unions plus Luxu). If we add whatever master they have in, its seven. Just like the guardians. Since Eraqus (And maybe the new characters) are part of the “blueblood” line of Keyblade Wielders, this makes a lot of sense, since Keyblade Wielders are defenders of the light and all.

This also adds credibility of why Xehanort was allowed to go on a world tour but Eraqus wasn’t- It’s hard to keep track of so many children, plus while Eraqus wasn’t allowed to go at the moment, their master could simply tell Eraqus to go with someone else in a later date

I swear, if MoM is their master (extremely doubtful, please don’t do this)

Or maybe even Luxu, since we saw No Name hanging in the wall in kh3

I severely expect everyone to give up their keyblade and go into hiding or die. 

If everyone else minus Xehanort is part of a Keyblade lineage minus him, it would add a lot of depth to how he acted the way he did. Just like I brought up in some previous posts, it makes sense that an outsider would break so many rules or use questionable methods/use said methods to try to stand out. If he is the only one out, this makes it worse than if it was just Eraqus, Yen Sid and him. 

To add to my previous bullet point, he is standing on a throne, just like Sora in promotional material. He is the only one sitting and the center of the shot. Just like Sora, Xehanort obtained his Keyblade (If my memory is correct, its been a year since I touched kh after all) due to outside influence, just like Sora did. This would be an excellent time for Sora parallels, Nomura

Ok, now I’ll get to the actual new characters

My first reaction (Posted in my discord) was “Urd reminds me of Aqua. Please do not make her a love interest”

She looks like she is making an OwO face

She does remind of Aqua, but a little bit more mischievous.

I’ve seen people say Bragi could be Luxu but honestly I also have suspicions Urd is up to something. Merely because she has silver hair and yellow eyes.

I always think silver haired people are more important that they turn out to be due to Riku having silver hair. We also don’t know Riku’s parents, unlike Sora and Kairi. We know Sora has a mom and a dad with a boat, and we know who adopted Kairi. But Riku? nothing. I’m curious exactly who introduced the silver hair gene in destiny islands. Is it a common trait? Xehanort has it. Riku has it. I need to see the family trees, please Nomura. How tf do they get their hair color im dying please-

She stands between Eraqus and Xehanort but behind them. Im sure this will be important later on. Until then though, i cannot say much.

She does have the Recusant’s sigil though, which once again reminds me of the fact that Keyblade Wielders have inbuilt trackers in their clothes. Im sure thats very useful for when they get lost in a random world.

My first reaction to Vor: She looks innocent but she would totally stab me in the back in an alleyway if given the opportunity.

Look at her. She looks like a tiny evil gremlin.

As a short people I can attest that short people will not hesitate to set your house on fire in Minecraft if given the chance. The world is too tall for us so we shall burn it until it is at eye level

Look im approximately 5ft tall, im short

I like her color scheme, very eye pleasing

People have pointed out her name is one letter away from Vore. Thanks guys, I so did not need that

People theorize this is Kairi’s grandma. I can see why, but I shall remain neutral on the subject

Probably the youngest

kinda reminds me of Ava

She is in the front, along with our main duo, maybe this will mean something

Will probably be a mix between Aqua and Ventus in term of gameplay. Speedy or magic main.

My first reaction to Bragi was: he looks so smug. He gives me a bastard vibe but that has to be seen. Or he is a troll.

People theorize he is Luxu because his name can be rearranged to Braig. Considering Nomura’s love for anagrams, it makes sense. 

I wanna punch him in the face, he looks like he knows more than me

Reminds me of Axel. Hahahaha the idea of Axel and him having a connexion of some kind would be. Hilarious. Honestly the idea of anyone in this group having a relation to anyone in the present era would be hilarious because Xehanort grew up with these people so it would be like “Oh shit my coworkers had kids?!?!”

Could they be old enough to have kids? I mean, bbs Xehanort was like, 80 years old so it could be a possibility. 

Fire user. I take no criticism.

Or he is a status user. He would spam like, 50 status spells and just kick your ass without having to move. Look, someone in these series has to see the potential of status spells, I can’t be the only one

Imagine that instead of him being luxu, its the master. I would laugh so much at y’all’s reactions.

My first reaction to Hermod: he looks like the oldest and older brother vibes but that might be because he’s tall.

He gives me vibes of trying to be responsible like Aqua but rolls his eyes fondly at everyone else’s shenanigans.

Has a sense of humor

In terms of placement, he stands more or less on the center, which might reflect on his personality. Peacekeeper? Probably tries to be neutral.

Tries to keep Bragi in line.

Tries not to pick favorites.

The idea of him trying to talk to Vor is hilarious. What is he gonna do, stand in his knees? He is just too tall.

Maybe Xehanort is taller than him, and thats the only thing I shall accept

Senior apprentice

In terms of gameplay, he might be like Terra, a heavy hitter.

Gives good hugs

TLDR; at some point I went from analysis to simply listing off random thought, just as all my posts turn out at some point. We do not know enough about them. The fact that the last kh themed new character we had was Strelizia is insane. New blood! I’m excited for yet another mobile game I can lord over my siblings because I know the timeline and they don’t. Posible candidate for the Disney Plus series? doubtful but still a strong possibility. It is 9:08 PM and I have not beta read this. 

[leebrontide]

A true, 30 year, tropetastic, queer love story. (Part 1)

Pls open the link if you'd like to read a 30 year, trope-tastic true queer romance featuring pining, instalove, swords, childhood-friends-to-lovers and a happy ending.

We THINK the story begins in 1991. We know it starts at theatre day-camp for kids, a summer when we were both in elementary school.

The earliest memories are vague- I remembered a super cool kid from the older class with dark eyes who I was desperate to eat lunch with every day.

It's taken us years to reconstruct the timeline. We have figured out I did go to her house outside of camp that first year, because I remember her bird that tried to bite me. We can only guess at years based on camp themes.

Because we were little kids. I was 7. So we lost touch.

But here's the thing- we kept going to the same camp. She was always in a class ahead of me, because I'm a year and a half younger.

And every year- apparently without remembering we'd met before? We became summer best friends. Drawn together over and over.

But, being disorganized kids in a world of lesser tech, every year, when camp ended, we lost phone numbers- we lived a good 30 minutes away from each other, so I have to imagine our parent's weren't exactly heartbroken at the loss. It was a lot of driving.

In 4th grade, when I was 9, I made a new best friend, named Meredith. My parents heartily recommended the summer theatre camp to hers, and she was sent with me, the next year.

She, was older than me, so she was in Ty's class. & having excellent taste, also made friends with her.

The three of us played together all summer.

Then came the fall, and the inevitable lost contact. I remember being sad about that much more clearly, that year.

BUT, the big change happened when I was 10.

Again, sent to camp. Again, my friend Meredith was there to.

At lunch, I found them playing together. I went to introduce myself to the obviously cool older girl.

For some reason I tried to shake her hand? Little weirdo.

Ty reacts to me the same way- oh hey! Cool new person! I want to be friends!

Meredith looks at us both like we're out of our minds.

"You know each other. We played all last summer."

And suddenly, the spell of childhood amnesia was broken.

I DID know her. We were FRIENDS.

We HAD BEEN FRIENDS for years.

She LIKED ME.

SHE LIKED ME.

(love with memory disabilities is a trip, folks. And her lil ADHD kid brain was struggling right alongside mine)

We were elated.

But that wasn't the last shock to my little 10 year old heart that 5 week summer camp would bring.

Meredith was, and is, a poet. Somehow she had a habit, at 11 years old, of making up poems about people's eyes.

Weird stuff. I remember a pair of green eyes being compared to a deep sea, were the bones of drunken drowned sailors floated.

Very Anne of Green Gables.

And- I remember this part with perfect clarity. She turned to me and said, do you know who has pretty eyes? Ty.

We were crossing the stage, Ty was carrying a box of props like 15 feet ahead of us.

I said "does she?"

And then, ever the romantic I screamed "HEY TY TURN AROUND I WANNA SEE SOMETHING!"

She did.

And for the first time, I looked into the dark eyes I'd been drawn to for all those years, and saw them anew.

There's a reason cupid's supposed to have arrows.

I swear to you that this is true. It felt like an actual blow to my chest. Like a physical blow.

I was stunned. My little heart was hammering out of control.

I have no idea what I said, or did, or looked like after that.

But I figured out pretty quickly what that was. It was not subtle, even to a prepubescent nearly 6th grader.

But I was a pragmatic little almost-6th-grader.

This was a crush. Middle schoolers have crushes.

And they're supposed to fade over time.

I don't remember if I was worried that my crush was on a girl. I just remember the certainty that this was just a child's crush, and therefor nothing that would last or cause problems.

And when fall came, I lost her number again.

But this time I was devastated.

But, this time a hero saved the day! Meredith, sweet, wonderful, more-organized-than-either-of-us Meredith, still had the number.

And this time, I held on to it.

We became year round besties.

For the first year of adoring her year-round, I didn't worry about my little crush. It'd go away in time.

By 7th grade, it started to be a problem.

We were having sleep overs, and I started to feel guilty about how much I wanted to look at her and cuddle her all the time.

I don't think I told anyone right away. But Meredith was always the smartest of us three.

She's the one who proposed we play "wedding". She presided over the ceremony herself, and her little sister was our wedding photographer.

Oddly, even though I didn't know about this photo till years later, this is a game both of us remember playing.

It meant... something.

Image

I started to feel guilty. We were having sleep overs, talking every day on the phone. I wanted to look at her all the time- I wanted to be with her all the time. I wanted to kiss her, and started to realize she might be bothered by that.

I never wanted to hide anything from her.

So, I confessed my love. I didn't think of this as being especially radical or brave, but in retrospect, I'm impressed by 12 year old Lee's behavior.

She smiled brightly, and said she loved me to!

As her best friend.

I clarified my position.

She repeated that she loved me as her very best friend.

And these feelings were a bit scary and BIG, so that was all good. She still wanted to hang out all the time. Life was good.

By 8th grade, I was starting to worry. The crush hadn't worn off yet. Everyone told me these things wore off.

But I was more in love with her than ever.

And when Meredith moved to Nashville, we got even closer.

We joined the MN sword club. Made new friends. In the way of these things, a whole lot of them turned out to be some evolving variety of queer. Friends started coming out.

I barely needed to, my crush was horrifyingly obvious to all our friends.

Image

I promised you swords. The swords don't feature prominently, but the club was a major connection for us for years, and this detail has always struck me.

I'm not an especially good fencer. Especially then. I was constructed out of raw spaghetti noodles and moved like creaky budget claymation most of the time. I was calculating, but slow.

She was fast, and brash, and more skilled than me. She eventually beat some nationally recognized fencers. We called her "fiery Tybalt" because we're a bunch of big ol nerds who wanted to sound smart. She eventually took her name from that nickname.

Even at only 5ft tall, she should have beaten me handily and reliably. She could hold her own against much better fencers.

But we actually got BANNED from sparring together, because we were so evenly matched we could never get enough points for a win.

My one and only expertise in fencing was knowing her. But she knew me just as well, so there was a stalemate.

Our friends laughed at us.

I confessed my love again in 8th grade.

And 9th.

10th.

11th.

I never wanted to lie to her. It was important to me that she knew what I was thinking and feeling, but it was also important that I not burden her with it.

She always gave me the same answer. She loved me. She loved me SO MUCH.

What a shame she was straight.

Now, readers, let me remind you we're looking at two queer kids in the 90s at this point.

There were pressures at play.

When I was in 11th grade, she left for college. And she was far enough away that long distance calls were expensive. I couldn't call her every day.

What I remember most about senior year was being depressed and lonely.

But also, that after years of my family despairing of my ever learning to type, and eventually getting me the (then very expensive) dragon speech-to-type program so I could type my homework and not fail school- my contact with her was suddenly all in text. AOL messenger.

People have commented at all my workplaces about my typing speed. I type 120 words per minute now.

Specifically because it was the only way to talk to her most days.

I went to college the following year. We both got boyfriends. Both nice boys who liked and admired us.

BOTH broke up with us because we so obviously preferred each other over them. To an embarrassing degree.

The boy I was dating- bless him he only lasted 3 months- specifically told me "if I go out with you any more I'm going to fall in love with you. And you're in love with her."

Slick bastard.

He was right tho.

I couldn't be mad at him.

But this is when I started to really panic.

It'd been 6 years. My first crush was still absolutely roaring. Nobody else came close to tempting me.

And nobody else wanted to, when it became obvious they couldn't compete with her.

And she was still my best friend, so of course I told her. I told her I was miserable, because I was going to be single forever because nobody else would want me, because I was so in love with her.

She felt bad. She loved me so much. So much she'd been dumped to.

Such a shame she was straight.

I wouldn't find out till much later that that conversation had started something on her side, that, for once, she knew to keep from me.

She spent the next 6 months in intense contemplation.

She DID prefer me to all the other boys (and girls) who were chasing her in college.

And there were a lot of them.

She did think I was pretty, and she did love me. And she did want to be with me forever.

She'd been as dedicated to me as I was to her through this whole time. As caring, as invested, as, frankly, obsessed. Everyone could see it.

But she wasn't straight. She was bi.

And ace.

We wouldn't learn that word for many more years. All she knew was that the story of falling in love didn't match the love she was feeling.

But then she realized- she'd never felt the feelings she was "supposed" to feel for her boyfriend, either. She was not more attracted to him than to me. And he was a good looking guy. A catch by most any standard.

And she also hadn't loved him.

But she did love me.

So, my sophomore year of college (her junior year), we were preparing our trip to the Renaissance festival. A bunch of her friends were driving into town for it, and we'd see each other again at last. (we'd been back at school like 2 weeks, so naturally were desperate to meet up)

I am still flabbergasted as the next series of events.

She asked me out. On AOL instant messenger. After over 7 years of my pining, and adoration. After 7 years of choosing the pain of being near her and not being able to kiss her, over the desolation of not having her beside me

She very logically explained her reasoning.

I had a meltdown.

My poor room mate walked into our room to find me crying and throwing things at the computer screen.

I was convinced she was offering to date me because she felt bad for me. Because she loved me and wanted me to stop hurting and feeling alone.

So I turned her down.

That, friends, was HARD. REALLY HARD.

Thankfully, she was having none of it. She insisted it only made sense for us to date. I tried to stay firm. I refused repeatedly, all in that damned AOL messenger.

We reached a compromise- one date, at the Ren Fest, as a test.

And if it failed we'd never speak of it again.

Because the prospect of dating and breaking up was terrifying to us both.

If we were going to be together, we'd be defacto engaged. Neither of us could tolerate breaking up.

The weekend came- my college friends all knew, and accompanied me, made sure I was decked out in the best fair garb we could cobble together.

She drove up with her friends- including the ex- who had no idea what was happening. She had on her finest cape & boots & a swishy dress.

We could not manage to be alone together. Like it was a proper rom-com ridiculousness. All damn day.

But at least we were together.

She came back to my dorm that night, to spend the night, and drive back the next day.

Shout out to my room mate who stayed at her boyfriend's house that night. Love you, Lindsay.

We finally managed to kiss.

She abruptly decided kissing wasn't some weird thing people only pretended to like because it was normal, and was in fact an amazing wonderful thing we should do frequently.

I don't actually remember us deciding that the experiment was successful, and we'd be a romantic couple from then on.

Pretty sure the kissing melted my brain.

It was not like kissing my old boyfriend at all.

She went back to college the next day.

I do remember, that, MORE THAN ONCE, I nervously asked my roomy if this had all really happened. I was truly and genuinely concerned that I'd dreamed or fantasized the whole thing. I'd done both enough times before.

I couldn't just ask outright so I'd say something like. "Hey did anything- important happen yesterday?"

And she'd look at me like I was speaking some alien language, and tell me I was dating Ty now.

I wandered around in a dream-like stupor for a WEEK.

This is a good place to stop for now. More tonight. I need to go snuggle my baby and help my wife with lunch. 💖

Popping in briefly for the next installment.

All our friends knew immediately. Some of them- the newer ones, were confused because they had assumed we were always dating, on account of how blatantly in love we were all the damn time.

We decided tho, to hold off on telling our families. We decided to date a year first, to show that it was serious, and that we meant it.

It was a good year, full of the kind of pining that is regularly rewarded by happy weekends and spring breaks and summers.

The next august, before we went back to school, we each sat down our own parents. Hers were sort of "yeah ok whatever." I was not there for that conversation.

I went to my favorite restaurant with my own parents, and told them I was seeing someone. Dad was enthused. Wanted to meet him.

Well. I said. You have.

Because it's Ty.

[heresince93]

Gillian Anderson Sunday Times Interview Transcript

There is a moment in the second series of Netflix’s Sex Education when Gillian Anderson’s character, Jean, sighs a deep resigned sigh as she is lying in bed one morning and spots the messy pile of small change her latest lover, Jakob, has left on her bedside table.

It’s my favourite moment of this uplifting show about the tangled love lives of British secondary school teens that manages to appeal to both parents and adolescents alike. Anderson plays the outrageously inappropriate sex therapist Jean Milburn, a stylish, confident single mother.

The sight of those coins will resonate with any woman of Anderson’s age and stage of life (she is 51), whatever kind of relationship they are in.These pennies, a symbol of how untidy life gets and the constant imposing presence of someone else even when they aren’t in the room, represent for Jean the gradual realisation that the excitement of a new love soon becomes tempered by the boring bits.

For those of us who have been married a while, the coins are perhaps the equivalent of the dull domesticity of picking up the shirt always dropped on the floor or the wet towels you always end up refolding after your teens have left them near but not on the bathroom radiator. Anderson and I chat about this a lot when we meet to talk about the second series of Sex Education, given that we are both working mothers in our early fifties.

The actress, who is most recognised for her role as Scully in The X-Files, is twice divorced and has three children, Piper, 25, Oscar, 13, Felix, 11, all of whom live with her in London. Her partner of three years is the playwright, screenwriter and creator of The Crown, Peter Morgan, himself a father of five.

In person Anderson is chatty and witty, aloof and friendly at the same time, a peculiarly feline trait that I often encounter in driven, confident women who have reached midlife. Tell me about Jakob and the coins, I say, what is it like starting a new relationship in your forties, compared with your twenties?

“It’s very different,” she says. “I think you are more fully formed, especially if you have taken time out of previous relationships to find yourself.

“Early on after the break-up of my last relationship and before my current one, somebody encouraged me to write a list of needs and wants in a future partner. Needs are non-negotiable. If you go on a date with someone and realise they won’t meet, say, three of those needs, then they are not the person for you. It may last as a relationship, but it won’t make you happy. Wants are easier, not more frivolous per se, but easier to deliver. Doing this made it clear to me going forward who would be good for me in a relationship.

“And there is a new creativity nowadays to what a relationship should look like, too. For instance, my partner and I don’t live together. If we did, that would be the end of us. It works so well as it is, it feels so special when we do come together. And when I am with my kids, I can be completely there for them. It’s exciting. We choose when to be together. There is nothing locking us in, nothing that brings up that fear of ‘Oh gosh, I can’t leave because what will happen to the house, how will we separate?’. I start to miss the person I want to be with, which is a lovely feeling. And it is so huge for me to be able to see a pair of trousers left lying on the floor at my partner’s house and to step over them and not feel it is my job to do something about it!”

I’ve never interviewed a celebrity who, even though she is wearing heels (little pointy white boots) is still shorter than me (I’m barely 5ft 2in), but Anderson is tiny. This is only important to note, I think, because her roles since Dana Scully have been so big and so powerful: Blanche in A Street Car Named Desire and Margo Channing in All About Eve on stage; Lady Mountbatten in the film Viceroy’s House; Stella Gibson in The Fall; and now Jean Milburn.

I wonder if she is perhaps filed under “tricky, unpredictable, charismatic, spiky, intelligent and fearless woman” in the casting director’s directory of suitable roles. After all, her next part is going to be Margaret Thatcher (in The Crown). And when she arrives for our chat in the closed Chinese restaurant of a central London hotel, she apologises for the sticky mess in her hair caused by wearing the Iron Lady’s wig the previous day. Her nails are manicured pale pink like Thatcher’s too.

“She had a condition that meant two fingers of each hand would curl around — Reagan had it too — so it affected her gestures and she would wear lots of rings and bracelets to distract. But she kept her nails long, which is how I have to keep them now,” Anderson says. She is fascinated by Thatcher, concluding, after studying her childhood, that “nobody ever existed like her. She was unique.”

Anderson might be unique herself, and despite giving many interviews (three last year), I see that she has been smart and managed to remain a bit of an enigma. When I listen back to the tape, she is very good at general talk, but not so hot on specifics.

She spent her early years in north London with her American parents before going back to Michigan for high school. She was a teenage punk plagued by panic attacks that have continued to trouble her over the years, particularly during her intense work schedule on The X-Files. She went into therapy at 14, then became world famous at 25, and had her first child at 26 (the same age her parents had her, before going on to have her two siblings 12 years later). She split up with her first husband three years after that.

In 2011 she endured the death of her brother, Aaron, aged 30, from a brain tumour, which she rarely discusses. She is an impressive activist, campaigning for a variety of issues including women’s rights in Afghanistan, Burma, South Africa, Uganda and South America. There are 10 charities she has worked with listed on her website, and in 2017 she co-wrote We: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere, a well-received book of advice for women. She has also designed two small fashion collections for Winser London, which include some gorgeous silky blouses. I found I had three in my wardrobe without knowing they were hers.

She is a Bafta nominee and Golden Globe winner, and Neil Gaiman, who cast her in the TV series of his book American Gods, said: “She is in this strange place where everything exists in the shadow of Scully, yet she is bigger and better than that.”

When I listen to her 2003 Desert Island Discs, though, she tells a darker story. In between Radiohead and Jeff Buckley, she talks of troubled mental health that she has worked ferociously hard to improve. She has been in therapy for more than 30 years.

Anderson tells me she has been teetotal since her early twenties and despite some mild probing on my part is reluctant to elaborate on exactly why. I understand. She has soon-to-be teenage children who don’t need to know about any of the “dangerous things” she has done, as she described them to Sue Lawley.

I’m fascinated by Anderson and can see why she was the perfect person to cast as the quirky, funny therapist Jean in Sex Education, which really hits its stride in the second series. While still a comedy at heart, the subject matter tackled by its fantastic young cast is revelatory. Sex Education is one of the first productions to hire an intimacy director to make the young actors feel comfortable and process what they were doing, often naked in front of multiple cameras, to be happy and authentic about what they did and feel they had input.

Anal sex, drugs, masturbation, STDs and nudity feature graphically in this show, which I would advise all parents and teens to watch, though not at the same time — only Jean would do that. When I interview Anderson I have yet to see the finale, but Jean’s journey is that of many women in the middle of their lives after divorce with teenage children.

“There’s a grief, isn’t there?” Anderson says as we discuss the menopause. “I haven’t quite got to the place where I don’t have my eggs, but your body is going to mourn that, isn’t it? I remember the very last time I breastfed and it was heartbreaking. I wept and wept through it.

“And I know people who describe particularly difficult periods at home without realising they are describing their mothers going through the menopause.

“We’re all at the point where we’re kicking off just as our teenage children are kicking off. I was looking at some home videos of Piper when she was three and wondering where all my patience came from in my twenties. I have forgotten that version of me.”

She says she doesn’t feel quite ready for her two boys to become teenagers, but sometimes Jean slips into their conversations at home.

“I find myself saying something embarrassing at the dinner table and I don’t know if it is me or if Jean has given me the licence to say that. Maybe I have always been that way, though. Some of what she shares is too much information. I wouldn’t share it, even with my eldest in her twenties. But my son came home after having a sex education class and I completely clammed up. I couldn’t bring myself to continue the conversation. I just let it die. I really don’t know why.”

Over the years Anderson has tried to schedule her roles to fit in with her children, but like many of us who have devoted much of our time to careers, she still lives with nagging doubts about doing the right thing.

How did you deal with a small child while filming back-to-back episodes of The X-Files for 16 hours a day, I ask, especially when you decided to go it alone as a mum. “I missed her, really so much. Those moments when you see a small child in the street when you are apart from yours and the conversation just drops, it’s hard. She was on a plane a lot when she was six and we moved production to the West Coast. I justified that, I mean it was selfish on my part. I just could not imagine being away from her for long periods of time.

“I became obsessed with schedules, and I still am because of that time. I would plan and colour-code everything, make a series of propositions about schedules so I could see her, and the show would either reject or accept them.

“With the boys the longest I have been away from them was during the two X-Files movies, but again I would be travelling constantly to see them.”

I ask her if she regrets working so hard. “Not yet,” she says. “I have a feeling that will come. I definitely feel like on a level I do regret Piper flying back [to her dad, when she was six] as an unaccompanied minor.” We sit in silence for a bit, mulling over the thought.

“But there’s another version of my life where I could have worked less, had a smaller life and been more present as a parent. I could have chosen that, that could happen. But sometimes it feels like why would you, if you keep getting work as an actor, doing things you dreamt of doing and being offered incredible roles at this age, while paying the bills, and you still get to see them a huge percentage of the time and they witness a mother enjoying her work?”

She has talked to her daughter about it, but says Piper is not yet at the place where the lightbulb goes on and she realises Mum was still up at 6am the days she faced 16 hours of work to be with her, or those days we all have when we are still on the edge of the sports pitch, despite the demands of a job.

But Anderson is an all-or-nothing personality. She tells me she is either on a healthy eating plan, meditating and working out or hiding like a hermit at home eating chocolate. She has been plagued by frozen shoulders all her life, leading to months of pain-filled insomnia and cortisone injections.

“My default position is sedentary,” she tells me when I ask about her meditating and yoga right now. “I like being in bed in my PJs. When I’m working, like right now, I seem to exist mostly on chocolate. Then I go through a stage when I feel dreadful and I review it all and start a food plan, torture myself counting shots of milk and all that.

“In the cycle of all or nothing, I am in the nothing phase right now. It has gone on for quite some time, but I think I am better to be around. I was having lunch with my daughter and we were just, you know, eating, not asking for stuff without oils or sugar, and she said, ‘It’s so much better when you are not in that place.’ ”

I’ve enjoyed my hour with Anderson; she is likeable and thoughtful. I sort of hope we’ll meet again one day. It’s unlikely she’ll read the interview; she has said before that she rarely does. So what do I think as I walk away from her? I’m impressed by her curious nature and, obviously, her sense of style, a blueprint for us all at this stage of life, but mostly I’m inspired by her strong sense of self. It has obviously taken quite a bit of work for her to get there, but from what I can see, it has been worth it.

@GillianA

Sex Education series 2 is available on Netflix from Friday

Hair: James Rowe at Bryant Artists. Make-up: Mary Greenwell at Premier Hair and Make-up. Nails: Saffron Goddard at Saint Luke using Sisley Hand Care

[lowsodiumlevels]

Shrimp shares about themselves.

Health stuff and mental stuff.

And other stuff

I sometimes forget I wasn't born right.

And even though I wasn't born right and have multiple things wrong with me.

My parents love me and sometimes I wonder why.

Then they do tend to baby me alot. Like I can't do things. But I can and it doesn't bother me.

They have to help me get stuff off of the high shelves because I'm small.

Still not 5ft. Which I'm kinda disappointed about. I wanted to be as tall as my grandpa and he was like 6'7 or 6'5.

I also have a texture issues where it takes me about an hour to eat a small cup of yogurt. Like I can't eat spoonfuls but I can eat the ones in the tube and just slorp.

And anything gooey. If it's in my mouth I'll spit it out.

I also love having pressure on me but I think that's an everybody thing? Like my cat or sometimes I pile blankets on my bed to where it makes me feel safe. Oh and I have to have pillows on each side of my bed, Once again to make me feel safe. Or I'm lonely xD

I also have a love for space and scorpions. I have space themed curtains and scorpion earrings,wallet, a t shirt, necklace, and I'm thinking of getting some scorpion boots. I'm even thinking of getting a scorpion tattoo once I am able to even get a tattoo.

I can't where rings, well I can't but if I do I just fidget with it and then end up taking it off cuz it feels wierd. So if anyone tries to marry me they'll have to literally give me a ring pop or a regular ring but I have to put it on a necklace and then wear it like that. But then I'm not sure if the person will think I care. I do but rings are hard for me to keep on because I'll just mess with it and then take it off. ....now that makes me sad. I do care but I don't like rings.

I don't even like bracelets.

I don't like stuff on my hands.

....

I kinda get really sad talking abt this stuff cuz what if my friends then look at me and think I'm weird. Or too much. That's why I get scared meeting new people cuz I'm not sure how they'll react to what I do- and it's just I guess frustrating to not know if a person really does like me or just pretending to just to get it over with. Most people I think pretend cuz they think I'm too weird and don't want to interact with me.

That or I just don't talk much. So they see me as uninteresting and boring and that's another reason. Which makes me hate myself for not being more normal and social.

Then it turns to the friends I already have, which are all internet friends, are gonna end up getting bored of me because I stop doing art or doing something at all.

...

I just can't help but get scared. It's happened so much.

But my bf tells me I don't have to be scared, at least not as much. And that if friends end up leaving because I'm me then they don't deserve me. And that- just that reassures me and makes me feel better. And he says I'm a wonderful bean just the way I am. And that also means alot. Nobody's ever told me that before.

I mean but still I worry at times. But I'm working on trying not to.

[lovelyjasmari]

Hello everyone!

So I’ve now completed Anila’s ref sheet, here we have her in childhood, as a young master, in her wedding attire, and as she appears now. This was kinda difficult since this was my first try at drawing the same character at different ages so I hope I did okay. ^_^

Also, today just happens to be her birthday! She’s also the OC that people ask me the most since I haven’t written much about her. 

I’m currently making changes to her character sheet and in the process of rewriting Future Masters to comply with the new Dark Road lore. So for today, I thought I’d share some headcanons I have for her for those interested. 

Anila was born in Scala ad Caelum exactly 86 years before the events of KH3. Her father was an accomplished Keyblade Master while her mother was an artisan famous for her handcrafted pinwheels. 

Her father dies while leading a group of training wielders on an expedition outside Scala and her mother dies of heartbreak about a year later, putting Anila in the care of a family friend who eventually becomes her master when she begins training.  

Her name means “daughter of wind” and was originally a potential name I was going to give to Kalai but decided against it since I couldn’t find a good Nobody anagram to go with the name. 

Because Dilan’s VA voices him with a British accent, I imagine Anila speaks with one as well. My voice headcanon for her is Julie Andrews and her faceclaim is Adjoa Andoh. 

When she moves into the high tower to begin training, she shares a room with Ilysia and Urd. She’s usually the first one among them to wake up. 

At 5ft 8, Anila is the tallest amongst her girlfriends and her only classmates taller than her are Hermod and Xehanort. This is lowkey one of the things that attracts her to the latter.

In her youth, her favorite physical activities are ones that involve high risk, she was lowkey a big adrenaline junkie. She can also hold her breath underwater for a very long time and is a strong swimmer, matched only by Xehanort. 

Together, over the course of a week, they explore the architectural ruins beneath Scala’s main island and even recover items from the ruined clocktower. 

After Xehanort has been training in Scala for a month or so, Anila develops the habit of arriving to class a few minutes after him. Wherever he sits, she sits behind him so she can steal glances at him throughout the day. She thinks her friends don’t notice this, they do, they just know better not to say anything.

After she steals his Wayfinder (and after he pretends like he intended to give it to her), she spends several weeks trying to discreetly give it back to him; leaving it in his room, giving it to Eraqus to give to him, etc. But he always gives it back to her and eventually she just keeps it.

Anila is also the only one among her classmates to have seen Destiny Islands. On a mission off-world, they are paired together and Xehanort gets the idea to pay a visit to his former homeworld. He shows her the secret place but a sudden thunderstorm leaves them stranded there for several hours. And they share their first kiss. 

She’s generally a pretty chill person but can be extremely sharp-tongued and bluntly honest. Most of the time her friends respect her candidness but it can sometimes come off as audacious and rude depending on the situation (or better yet, who the current victim of her snark is). 

Her general philosophy is that people who are dishonest are more often that way out of fear rather than malice because they believe the truth is crueler than lies. She feels the opposite.

Paradoxically, Anila has a very difficult time being honest with herself and her feelings. One of the reasons she and Xehanort never fully become a couple is because, for the longest time, she did not want to accept that she was truly in love with him. And by the time she’s ready to accept it, it’s too late and he’s already beginning to follow his dark destiny. For the longest time, she partially blamed herself for his fall to darkness, until she eventually realized that such was inevitable. 

Anila’s fear of darkness is thus extremely personal. Her primary reason for wanting to settle in Radiant Garden after she marries and becomes pregnant is because by this point Scala has fallen and she wants to raise her child in a peaceful world with as little darkness as possible. 

She takes Ilysia and Urd’s deaths very badly, in some ways more than the deaths of her parents and husband. 

Ilysia’s death in particular is a devastating blow to Anila, partially because Xehanort was somewhat responsible. It actually prompts her to give up her keyblade and relinquish her role as Master because she fears her sorrow will open her heart to the darkness. 

This is something she deeply regrets decades later, one of her few regrets. But when her granddaughter is granted a keyblade, she resolves to teach her the lessons she wished she had known in her youth. 

Though no longer a master herself, Anila’s experiences and wisdom continue to be an inspiration to the current generation of keyblade wielders. Aqua and Terra see her as an honorary auntie and Kalai sees her as a second master in addition to Aqua.

[n-komas]

(1/3?)Hi! Idk if you're still doing match ups but I was wondering if i could get a haikyu match up pls! If not, please feel free to ignore my ask, I completely understand and hope you're resting 💕 if soooo-I’m a straight cis Hispanic female that’s 5ft tall, I have wide hips, big butt/thighs, my top half ain’t special tho and I have black hair/bangs and dark brown eyes+glasses! I’m a cancer with an ISFP personality, I’m shy and closed off at first but as I get used to you I open up.

Dear User, Thank you so much for waiting! We have found your perfect match! You’ve been paired with...

Tooru Oikwa!

firstly, cancer twins!

the way your birthdays are only a day apart mwah

he liked that you’re sort of hard to break open at first

likes to think of it as a challenge

so that’s how you became friends for sure

he just wormed his way into your everyday life whether you liked it or not

anyways now you guys are the bestest buds <33

you guys have tease fights all the time

basically roast battles tbh

but then you probably tease him about how your butt is bigger than his

and it shuts him up entirely

mans wont admit it but he wishes he had an ass so bad </3

he just thinks they’re nice

plus he has this really weird desire to just know how to twerk and throw it back

he’d probably never do it in public

but when he’s bored and alone in his room, he just gets in front of the mirror and tries

since you have a motherly sense to you, you’d have to take care of him much more than you should need to

not just because that tooru has childish aspects to his personality

which you do need to put up with 24/7

but he has a habit of overworking himself far past his limits

and as his best friend, you’d have to drag his ass home and out of the gym

he is seriously the most stubborn piece of shit you have ever met

will spit back insults and harsh words to get you to leave him alone so he could practice more

he just wants to perfect himself

so you have to be there to physically take the balls out of his hands and put the net away while he cools down so you can take him home

as a cancer, you understand how hard emotions can hit

oikawa only really goes to you for emotional help

and he’s a pretty emotional guy

he still has iwaizumi, but he knows he can be 100% unfiltered with you

you’ve seen him at his ugliest, with his rawest emotions

you dont even need to give him advice tbh

he just needs to vent out his feelings a lot

ANYWAYS enough of sadkawa

sometimes he goes over to your house just to nap on your couch

like,, your parent(s) let him in, even if you’re not home

he says that they’re better than the ones at his place bc he flattened them out from sleeping on them too much

but he doesnt really get much time to nap tbh so when he does go over to sleep, you dont rly disturb him bc you know he needs it

sleeping on the other couch/chair in the room so when he wakes up he’s just really confused for a second

he annoys you like a normal older brother would

even if you were older than him, he’d still treat you younger just so he could piss you off

he’ll literally sit on you and pull your hair and make fun of you for being a legitimate foot shorter than him

but he’d protect you with his entire being

he tells you whether he approves of your anime boy crushes or not

not something you asked him to do but he does anyways

“larissa, be honest now okay, if i was an anime boy, would you have a crush on Me?”

moving on, he would completely understand thay you need space sometimes

yeah, he’s a clingy guy, but he respects your boundaries and knows when to bother you and when not to

he will be there to listen to you whenever you need though

OKAY BUT HE WILL FORCE YOU TO DO KARAOKE DUETS WITH HIM

he will DRAG you to a karaoke bar w him

fake id if he really needs to

you ARE publically singing a duet with him at least Once

does tiktok trends w you though!

could be a dance

or one of the text pranks

he loves the attention tbh so he’s always more than willing to help or participate

also sends you tiktoks when he’s on his breaks from practice or monitoring games

gives him a little stress reliever

if you call him shittykawa/trashykawa/crappykwa or anything like that

he will also make up some name to call you to tease you back

will occasionally call you things like dumbass or idiot

but not too often bc he still feels bad sometimes <//3

you‘re both smart idiots it’s okay <3 he’s of your kind LOL

ok but he lowkey would love star wars

it reeled him in just bc it’s in space

and you know the dumbass has a weird love for aliens and sci-fi

so the story and the characters would bring out the ultimate dweeb inside him

loves it so much

for one of his birthdays, you decided to buy 2 tickets to disneyland to surprise him

his parents paid for his ticket and half of yours bc they wanted him to he able to experience star wars galaxy’s edge in person & with his best friend

so you SURPRISED him with the tickets and he BAWLED his eyes out

was the best two days of his life

you bought baby yoda plushies & matching mickey mouse ears

overall, oikawa is basically your older brother, but also someone he knows he can lean on in times of need

he treasures you so very very much so, as an oikawa stannie myself, pls be gentle with the sweet boy <//3

Thank you for working with us! We hope you found satisfaction with your newfound bestie~ Honorary applicants we considered for the role were: KOUTAROU BOKUTO & YUU NISHINOYA. Thank you again for your time & we hope you enjoy your future lifelong friendship!~ Thank you for requesting!