#and fuck this terrible show for not even attempting to try!! get on my level!! 😤

[burned-lariat]

It's times like these, where TJ has incredibly stupid and one-sided onscreen beef with Kristina, and the surrogacy story not hitting a single beat, that I am so, so glad that: (1) I decided to write "how to keep house while drowning" and (2) that it has as much engagement as it does.

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Charlie Dalton, Neil Perry and Todd Anderson Taking Care of Their Sick S/O

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Relationship(s): Charlie Dalton x sick!gn!reader (romantic), Neil Perry x sick!gn!reader , Todd Anderson x sick!gn!reader (romantic)

Warnings: The reader has a cold so... yeah. Also, since I'm sick myself, my brain isn't really working at it's normal level so apologies for any mistakes! (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: Unfortunately I'm still sick (it's only been a few days). Fortunately, I'm still motivated to write headcanons to get me through this relatively mild illness (and I'm starting to feel better)! I've got a Todd one-shot draft that I started a year ago and never got around to finishing, so here's my first offering to the Dead Poets Society fandom. I'd love to write more for it, both reader-insert and not. I'm not sure if I'll end up writing any more sick fics (I've already written hcs for Yellowjackets and Abed Nadir and Annie Edison from Community) since I should be better soon, but if you're still interested check out my fandom list and requesting info and feel free to send an ask!)

CHARLIE

Charlie will jokingly tell you that you’re disgusting.

If you’re not amused by that, he’ll awkwardly but sincerely apologise, his mortification thinly veiled.

He isn’t entirely sure what the hell to do to make you less sick.

(He'll have to consult his more medically knowledgeable friends for advice)

He will ask you if you want him to kiss it all better.

(And he will not hesitate to kiss you when you give him the go ahead)

Suffice it to say, he does not care all that much about getting sick himself.

(A small part of him hopes that he does get sick so you'll have to take care of him)

He will spend so much time with you, you’d think you were dying.

He will also get you anything you ask for (even if it has no clear use in making you physically better- he just wants to make you happy).

If his earlier attempt at joking doesn't work, he'll still persist in cracking jokes and making you laugh to make you feel better.

(If your laughter causes you to break out into a coughing fit, though, he will feel awful).

NEIL

Neil knows exactly what to do.

He may not like his dad's dream of him becoming a doctor, but damn he has such a knack for looking after you.

He makes sure you’re drinking enough fluids and taking any medicine you need to take.

No matter how disgusting you might get, Neil is completely unfazed the whole time.

If anything, he'll find it funny and try to keep you in as high spirits as possible.

If he does mind getting sick, he certainly doesn't show it.

For example, he doesn't hesitate when kissing you on the cheek or forehead.

He loves you so much that it really won’t matter to him if you can- or do- get him sick.

He’ll regularly ask you if there’s anything that you want or need, and if you’re comfortable, and if you’re too hot or cold.

It’s evident that he cares about you getting better.

He’ll sit at your bedside and try to take your mind off of how you’re feeling.

But, he will insist that you need to rest up, so when you’re asleep or trying to fall asleep he’ll be as quiet as humanly possible to make sure he doesn’t wake you up.

If he does end up waking you, he’ll feel terrible about it.

He’s so loving and caring anyway, but especially when you’re sick.

TODD

This guy is fucking terrified.

He assumes that anything he does will only make you sicker.

A small part of him is convinced you will die under his care.

So, he begs Neil for advice, and Neil humours him so that Todd doesn’t drive himself nuts.

Todd will regularly ask you if you need something, and he’ll repeatedly offer you whatever Neil advised him about.

He’s also completely torn between his innate desire not to get himself sick, and his deep love and affection for you.

So, please don’t get upset with him if he recoils almost every time you cough and sneeze, because he does spend as much time as he possibly can at your bedside.

Speaking of which, Todd sits at your bedside like a loyal golden retriever.

He’ll hold your hand (internally panicking about your high temperature, of course) and place the occasional kiss on the back of it.

He’ll also read some of his poems, works in progress and completed, out to you, and he’ll make sure to pick plenty that are about you specifically.

Sure, he’s nervous, but you love his poetry and all he wants to do is reduce how terrible you feel.

[crimeboys]

It wasnt mourninglamby :( but honestly mourninglamby doesnt know what they’re talking about so if they have the same opinions it doesnt even matter what they think tbh……. I just wish I was better at showing them evidence you know? I keep talking about the yes very selfish love cwilbur has for ctommy was still love for ctommy and there aint no way the mental turmoil cdream caused ctommy is worse than cwilbur being mentally ill and a bad role model… they called cwilbur a groomer ffs???? I wish I could tell them that’s wrong without losing again due to my lack of evidence because they can just shut it down by calling my interpretations of crimeboys fanon……. I’m honestly just rambling sorry cyrus

my bad that may have been my own personal demons... although it does make me desolate to know more people share this take. but im not exactly unfamiliar with media illiteracy in this fandom.

but tbh it's like fine you dont have to debate people online about their interpretations of characters i personally love to block and stew (and occasionally lose my cool or swagever) and write private metas bc well im not a super articulate person so i hate posting them online. but yeah listen if you see people making dumbass takes that are wildly insane such as c!wilbur groomed tommy, you never have to like. debate that person bc frankly they've gone to a level of reading into shit that you are probably not going to be able to unravel. write your own meta or complain to your friends. i personally do the second one bc i hate writing. but i can attempt a little bit.

cwilbur is a complicated man who a lot of people like to make simple, be that in a negative or positive way. there are far extremes of both interpretations of the character and they both drive me insane. he is a character who requires a lot of criticism and a lot of compassion, otherwise he gets lost in the extremes of "terrorist monster who wants to hurt everyone" or "big brother who wuvs his little brother and would never do anything to hurt him".

cdream is also a complex character but he has a simple goal. power. whether that power come from land or disc or a teenager all on his own, his goal is to be on top. things take an obvious shift from just being obsessed with power to being obsessed with having power over tommy, which dream has always had to some degree but that's bc he fixated on tommy's "troublemaking" ruining the server in the beginning. exile is where he began to just Enjoy fucking with tommy and lets himself want power over tommy for the sake of having power over tommy, nothing to do with control of the server.

both of them meant to hurt tommy. i dont disagree with the notion that wilbur was abusive toward tommy. i just think there is a very clear difference in the way wilbur treated him vs. the way dream treated him. specifically i think situationally, it is very clear that wilbur was in a godawful place when he started treating tommy and everyone else terribly. i think the notion that his abuse started before pogtopia is bullshit and an incredibly dumb read of the characters. wilbur was not secretly fucking evil during l'manburg. he was an asshole often because wilbur's an asshole (but so is tommy, which people who dont actually like his character but adore the fanon version of it like to ignore), but he didn't create l'manburg just to destroy it. he didn't created l'manburg just to hurt tommy and everyone he loves. he made a home for them and when that home was taken, he had a really fucking bad reaction to it.

there is no question that wilbur during this time period hurt the people he loves. but i also think acting like every single thing he did during this period of time was malicious is fucking strange. there is a very clear, obvious fucking steady decline from the moment eret betrays them in the final control room, to wilbur and tommy being exiled from the home they built together for each other, to wilbur and tommy trying to get their nation back, to wilbur watching schlatt onstage and realizing (thinking) he never can in a way that matters, to wilbur becoming a shaken up bottle of paranoia set to explode the second someone opens it. even the fucking pit, which was shitty and gross and makes me yell at the screen every time i watch it, had a cause and effect. wilbur who genuinely thinks technoblade is on their side and trusts not to kill tubbo, to running back to pogtopia and indignant about techno trying to come back, to realizing this reinforces his paranoia and that he was right all along isn't that amazing tommy he was right they can't trust anyone, to putting tommy and techno in the pit.

this isn't the most indepth bc well like i said i don't write meta. but i think my point is clear that overall, there is a very clear difference between isolating and hurting someone literally for fucking fun vs. being isolated by the country you built and having a paranoid episode that your brother is in the front lines for that irrevocably changes both of you.

i think not liking cwilbur is fair enough, he has done undeniably shit things and hurt a lot of people without really making up for it, but i think refusing to engage with his character outside of the surface level is incredibly annoying, especially when you refuse to do that but include your own personal hcs and pretend they're honest interpretations of what you actually watched instead of separate characters you invented in your head.

dsmp might be a mess and people might think they "did more heavy lifting than the creators" but at the end of the day, they gave us very clear groundwork and tons of content and i don't think any of the lifting we have done is actually all that revolutionary to the characters outside of like. fanart. usually the people who do aren't writing the characters anymore. or maybe it's their first fandom and they don't realize it's very normal to have a bunch of hcs and character reworkings. but that's a little off topic.

anyway i could ramble about all this forever so i'm gonna go before i'm too mean and late to work byeee.

[lavendersugarplum]

Why Ben’s Death Was Important.

These two TUA characters could've died earlier, and I would not care.

Now that The Umbrella Academy has come to an end with Season 4, I feel like it's the perfect time to share some of my thoughts on the characters, and one in particular—Jennifer. If Jennifer had been killed off at any point during the season, it honestly wouldn't have affected me in the slightest. I just couldn't bring myself to care about her character. Jennifer's presence throughout the series has been minimal at best; she's barely had any screen time or development, making it hard to connect with or invest in her story. In many ways, she felt like a character who was simply there to serve the needs of the plot, rather than someone we were meant to root for or even understand on a deeper level.

The show could have handled her just as they did with Harlan—abruptly writing her out without much of a send-off. Harlan, who was once an important character, was discarded with little fanfare when his role no longer fit into the narrative. But because Jennifer is more closely tied to the central plot and Sparrow Ben's storyline, the writers clearly felt she was too important to be cut off so easily. Despite her being integral to certain plot points, it felt like her character never truly got the attention or development needed to make her compelling. So, while her survival made sense for the overall narrative, it didn't do much to make her any more memorable or likable to me as a viewer. If they had killed her off from the start, then the show would basically be over. Happy Ending for everyone....except her.

Another character I would have had zero qualms about losing is Sparrow Ben. Especially him. I HATE this character with a passion. No one can ever replace Umbrella Ben in my eyes; he will always be the best Ben, the only valid Ben, and the one who truly mattered. Sparrow Ben, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. I wouldn't give two flying fucks if something terrible happened to him. 😭 From the moment he appeared on screen, it was clear that his character was meant to be unlikable—arrogant, self-centered, and constantly at odds with everyone around him. And while it seemed like the writers tried to soften him up in late end of Season 3, hoping to make him more sympathetic or relatable, it just didn't work for me. Any attempts to redeem Sparrow Ben fell flat, and he remained just as obnoxious as ever.

Frankly, I'm convinced that the only reason the Umbrellas kept him around was because he looked like their beloved Umbrella Ben. If it were up to me, I'd have left his ass somewhere along the way, probably "accidentally" letting him get swallowed up by the Kugelblitz or one of the many other apocalyptic threats they faced. The Umbrellas' insistence on keeping him around felt misguided; he's not their Ben, and he's made it painfully clear he doesn't want to be part of their found family. I kept thinking, "Just let him go! He's not your brother!" The whole dynamic was forced and uncomfortable, and it's hard not to blame him for a lot of what went wrong this season. The group's willingness to cling to this hollow version of their lost sibling only made things worse.

Because let's be real, most of the things in Season 4 can be traced back to Sparrow Ben's actions or his selfish decisions. If they had just left him behind earlier on, half the disasters they faced might never have happened. The Umbrellas should have cut their losses instead of trying to see something redeemable in a character who had no interest in being part of their story. To me, the only decent Sparrows were Sloane and Marcus—characters who, unlike Sparrow Ben, showed some sense of loyalty, vulnerability, and a willingness to grow. Sparrow Ben was just dead weight, a constant reminder of what the Umbrellas lost, without offering anything meaningful in return. He is a prime example to show how none of the Umbrella's are willing to just let go of some things and move on.

The entire series of The Umbrella Academy revolves around one central theme: the siblings' refusal to let go of the past and accept things as they are. They're constantly clinging to old traumas, memories, and regrets, unable to move forward. This is why Sparrow Ben's antagonistic personality is in a way important to the storyline. If he had been as loving, kind, and brotherly as Umbrella Ben, his role as the catalyst for the Umbrellas' downfall would have made no sense. Sparrow Ben's cold and selfish nature was a direct contrast to what the Umbrellas once had, highlighting just how much they were still trapped in the past, desperately trying to hold onto something that was long gone. So even though a lot of us might absolutely loathe this character, he role was a reminder that you can't recreate what you've lost, no matter how hard you try, and this refusal to accept that truth is what ultimately led the siblings down a destructive path.

Rewatching the series with this context makes Umbrella Ben's death feel even more important. On its own, his death is a heartbreaking and tragic moment, a sudden loss of a beloved character. But when viewed within the entire narrative arc of the series, it transforms from a purely sad event into something more complex—almost a bittersweet relief. I believe now that Ben's death was a subtle foreshadowing of how the story would ultimately end. It was a powerful hint at the series' overarching message about the necessity of letting go. Ben's journey was a microcosm of what every character needed to learn but often resisted—the painful but necessary act of moving on.

Ben was the first sibling to accept his fate, to realize that holding onto people, memories, and pain when it's time to let go is not only unhealthy but self-destructive. His decision to let go wasn't just about moving on from his own death; it was about ending his cycle of self-inflicted suffering. He recognized that by clinging to the past, he was only perpetuating his own misery. His final act of release allowed him to find peace, breaking the cycle and allowing his spirit to finally move forward. This stands in sharp contrast to the rest of the siblings, who repeatedly fall into the same patterns, unable to break free from their own personal demons.

To break the cycle, you must be willing to let go, just as Ben ultimately did.

[anonzentimes]

Except it's not actually a hierarchy he's created in his head. The thing that so many fans fail to get is that what is truly terrifying about Nagito Komaeda is the fact that there are lots of Nagito Komaedas out there in the world of Danganronpa. People who's sense of self-worth has been royally fucked by the culture that Hope's Peak (and later the Future Foundation) helped foster. Nagito is simply the one who says the quiet stuff out loud. Like something that's really telling in hindsight is before Episode 4, Hajime never actually calls Nagito out on his talk of talentless people being worthless. Because as the climax of the game makes clear, Hajime is one of those many other Nagito Komaedas out there.

Honestly, great point anon thank you! While he undoubtedly does have a hierarchy in his head I actually did forget to mention in my ramble that this specific trait is mostly a learned thing from the world that they live in (never let me cook at 3am again smh). It's commonly accepted and believed in, Hajime is the biggest example that we see. The "objective" fact everyone accepts that the talented are better than the talentless. Hajime only cares when he learns he's "worthless," and it takes a toll on his personal self esteem.

Nagito believes his talent is worthless because it harms everyone around him and only benefits himself, and when there's no one to harm it goes after him, so he considers himself on the same level as someone who isn't an ultimate. Just combining this with his unhealthy coping mechanism and obsession with Hope and we get some of the most important traits of his character. His self esteem may come from growing up with terrible experiences and blaming himself, or that he's on the same level as someone who isn't an ultimate.

I do think that it's upsetting they play into how he thinks he's worthless by never caring to give him reciprocation or just not at all being bothered by his absence when he's suspended it just really sucks.

The closet thing he gets to reciprocation is Chisa which her caring about him shocks him, and Chiaki a little bit because she's trying to help the whole class and he's included. In Dr2 he is drawn to Hajime and he attempts to get his attention and approval pretty often, they enjoy each other's company at least before things get crazy and Hajime shows reciprocation. Nagito's more of an actual threat in Dr2 and I can understand more their fear and negligence, I still think tying him up and not letting him go anywhere is a horrible thing to do to anyone. I understand it more but It still feels upsetting.

I'm happy for Nagito that Hajime is in his life though, he seems to genuinely love him/care for him quite a lot. Hajime seems to care for him too, even when he's afraid and upset. It's not to the same degree as Nagito, mostly because of Nagito's threatening presence once he loses his filter, but Hajime does care for him and has enjoyed time with him. Their relationship can and has been healed after the killing game and he can actually have one of the healthier, if not healthiest, relationships in his life with Hajime.

(Also I say love because saying like doesn't feel right it doesn't express enough emotion and relationship as general relationship I don't care what you ship lmao)

I really do enjoy seeing fan works and such where his classmates, even if not the to the extent of Hajime's reciprocation, they genuinely care for him and treat him a lot better.

Anyways!! Just wanted to say with this reply some extra stuff I didn't before, some restatements, and the fact yup you're completely right!! Sorry I forgot to mention it in my original ramble post thanks so much anon! :)

[trans-queen-administrator]

One year ago, give it take a few days, I started reading Worm. I finished it in a week. I don't think I'll ever read a story that affects me as much as Taylor's did, and since it's the anniversary of me reading Worm I think I might as well get sappy and emotional and write out how much Worm impacted me.

Tw: talking about suicide

I was in a terrible spot before Worm. Behind in every single class, failing to eat or drink or even just get out of bed for entire days, ghosting all of my friends and family just because I couldn't work up the will to talk, I just rotted in my dorm all day and let the tasks pile up higher and higher because I didn't know how to dig myself up, so I just gave up. I found Worm from some stupid meme that I saw while scrolling through social media for 13 hours a day in an attempt to drown out thoughts, and for reasons I still don't know I started to read it instead of returning to my blank inertia. I hadn't had the mental willpower to read or even feel anything in months, and it was completely out of character to immediately read it instead of just saying I'd do it later.

My sleep schedule was already fucked, once I got started it wasn't really a shock that I stayed up until like 5 am.

The week went by, I got to Leviathan, the Nine, Echidna, countless incredible interludes, and somewhere early on I think Worm became some sort of last hurrah. I'm not totally sure if I would have done it, but I had rough plans for methods of killing myself. Worm is a long work, impressively so, I was telling myself I'd finish it so I had something to be at least somewhat proud of before I went. It was a means of procrastination for the end since I didn't want to leave it unfinished, and also a road to it since once I was done reading then it would be time.

I became completely closed off from the world, even more than I had been previously. I dropped any pretenses of passing or attending class, what would the point be when I wouldn't be around for the grade? My meals became even less frequent, and when I had them it was always accompanied by reading. My sleep time was cut in half, I was waking up earlier and going to bed later all to read Worm. It was a week long fugue where I ceased to exist except for my ability to read the text. Once I was done reading, that would be it for me, and since I had closed myself off from pretty much everything there were no outside sources to convince me to change my mind. Just Worm. And it managed to do it.

Something about Taylor's absolutely insane amount of willpower just hit me hard. I remember when I read Speck and was reduced to a sobbing wreck for a day that was one of my strongest thoughts about her. She just tried so hard for everything, and absolutely never gave up as long as there was some way she could try to do something. I never learned how to put all my effort into stuff, but Taylor was inspiring enough that I wanted to at least try to learn how to try. It sounds cringey to write down, but if she could try so hard that she united all of humanity to kill an omnicidal god, then I could at the very least try to eat lunch.

Speaking of lunch, I read 90% of Speck in the corner of my college dining hall. It was like 4:00 and I was the only one there somehow, which is great because I was breaking down the entire time as I read Taylor fall apart. I don't think I'll ever read anything that hurt as much as Speck.

Another part of Taylor that was just as crucial to making me want to live was showing how much her self destructiveness hurt others. How could I justify killing myself when I just read how much it fucking tore at Taylor's friends when she became Khepri? When Lisa scrambled to just barely save Taylor from a suicide attempt in the first chapter of Gold Morning? Even when she just left them behind, Rachel's anguish was palpable, so who was I to ghost my friends because I was too scared to text anyone? I always knew on a logical level people would be sad if I died, but seeing such solid depictions of hurt from similar situations just... I dunno, I couldn't justify it when it was so much clearer to me how much it would hurt people I love.

I took a day to emotionally recover from the mental rewiring that comes from finishing Worm, and then I called my parents and told them how poorly I had been doing. I hadn't done it before because I didn't want to be a burden. They were happy to help. I dropped all my classes and went home. Worm stayed with me, it gave me some sort of substance to my life, something to latch on to. Making ideas for fanfics that I'd never write, talking with friends I'd made through Worm, rereading Speck if I needed a good cry, all of it kept me going and made my life feel less flat. Like five months later I started posting to this account and that was another outlet. It was just fun to analyze the text and make up theories about this work that did so much for me, and when I finally started posting them online that was good fun too. Thank y'all for reading my dinky little rambles, somehow I've cracked 400 followers on what was originally just a place for me to write down my thoughts during lunch hour at a mental hospital. Whenever I get a detailed comment in the notes, or I see someone like/reblog 20 of my posts in a row as they scroll through, or I see the names of people I always see in my notifications it just makes my day. Y'all are lovely.

And well, now it's been a year. Worm was supposed to be the final story I read, a countdown to the end in 1.7 million words, but it managed to convince me to keep going. I didn't think I'd make it to the next year or even the next month, but it's November again and I'm still here. I'm not doing great, but I'm here and I have Worm to thank for that.

[blackdollette]

Thank you for your amazing writing!!!! You have some of the best work! My thought tho is hard dom Euronymous, where he’s just throwing the reader around, pulling hair and, using them over and over, but then super soft to the reader after! Thank you!! ❤️

thank you so much!! i swear yall are so kind it makes my heart melt

"you can be the boss." | euronymous

you can be the boss. - lana del rey

female!reader x euronymous

contents: p in v, unprotected sex, blowjob, overstimulation, creampie

not proofread. terrible grammar warning.

euronymous had carried you bridal style back to his place. his show had attracted a major crowd, making it mayhem's best show yet, and now he was in the mood to celebrate.

when he told you this, you were thinking along the lines of getting wasted at the bar, but he had something a lot more intimate in mind. he threw you onto the bed, his eyes running up and down your body.

the sexual tension had been building up all night. he had been craving you more than he could bear, and it was making him go insane. it was like you were trying especially hard to tease him all night, which you definitely were.

"you gonna be a good little whore for me tonight?" he stroked your chin gently as he asked this. he found yourself getting needy already, but you simply just nodded. he smiled a little. "good girl." he rested his back on the headboard, starting to unbuckle his belt.

he unbuttons his pants, freeing his aching boner from the prison of his clothes. he grabbed the back of your head, looking you in the eyes for a moment before he made you open your mouth, and stuffed it with his dick.

he let out a warm groan as he felt the warm walls of your mouth around him. he grabbed a handful of your hair and started pulling your head up and down his cock at a rapid pace.

"such a pathetic little slut for my cock..." he watched as you drooled all over the place, tears rolling down your cheeks. he could hear the squelching noise at the back of your throat whenever the tip hit it.

"you look so beautiful like this..." he said as he started to thrust his hips into your mouth. "you like using your slutty little mouth to please me, hm?" you attempted to nod, but he was fucking your face so hard that you completely incapable of making even the simplest action.

he starts groaning and whispering dirty little things to you, him only increasing the abuse on your poor throat. his cock began to twitch in your mouth, telling you that he was about to dump his load down your throat, but instead of doing that, he pulled your head off of his dick.

he was panting a little, but you were a complete mess, finally being able to breathe. he grabbed you by your waist and shoved your face into the pillow, landing a hard slap on your ass. you whimpered as he tore your finger stockings and slipped off your tiny thong.

he used his thumb to rub your aching cunt, making your body completely submit to his touch. he pulled his thumb away, drawing a string of wetness out of you. "so wet for me already..." he got right to business, shoving his cock in you and pounding into your tight cunt, making you scream.

his nails were digging into your hips, and he used his other hand to keep you head in the pillow, muffling your noises. he trusted into you roughly, until you were a sobbing mess. he loved seeing you ruined like this. he thought it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

as his clock started hitting that sensitive spot in you, you found yourself already cumming all over him. he felt your tight walls clenching around him, and he saw how you were completely falling apart.

he rubbed quick circles on your throbbing clit, making your body tremble. you quickly reached a level of overstimulation as he continued the brutal assault on your little pussy.

euronymous found himself getting close to that point, his dick twitching inside of you as he pounded into you. before he could do anything about it, his cum started spilling into your hole, some of it dripping out as he fucked your through his orgasm.

you were completely destroyed, your body feeling weaker than ever by the time he finally pulled out of your bruised cunt. he laid down beside you, smiling and gently caressing your cheek. "you were fantastic, angel. always such a good girl for me." you managed a little smiled, feeling a wave of fatigue hit you.

he took you in his arms and planted soft kisses all over you as you slowly drifted off to sleep, dreaming of all the things that he had done to you.

author's note: i'm so sorry that this took so long to come out, things have been getting very busy :(( but requests are still open though

[james-stark-the-writer]

terrible news, i tried to watch the Friendly Space Ninja Riverdale finale video again and i think i've pinpointed my problem with his videos, specifically the Riverdale ones but also just his general approach to media criticism, it's just the terrible wave of "objective criticism" we had on youtube with shitheads like Mauler but framed as just a more subjective opinion and it tries to pretend like that makes it any better, which it doesn't, like it really doesn't, because the underlying assumption that there is only one way to tell any type of story is just such a terrible thing for art but also he just fundamentally doesn't understand what type of art Riverdale is and there's just such a sheer lack of even attempting to treat it as a serious piece of art because the assumption is already that because popular consensus is that it sucks (the critical consensus has actually been consistently fucking great, you could just go look at the Rotten Tomatoes scores or even check out the legacy section on Riverdale's Wikipedia page), that means it automatically is trash, it never gets the opportunity to fight for itself because it's never given the chance to be thought of as a piece of art. it's an insistence that writing is the only way to analyze an audio-visual medium and like sure, writing doesn't "age" the same way other elements might, but audiences do age and change and evolve, media criticism does too, there's a reason people appreciate the Star Wars prequels more now than they ever did at release because we understand different ways of appreciating art now beyond the base insistence that conventionally "good" writing is the only thing to aim for (the prequels are actually well written but let's not get into THAT rn), that doesn't make the prequels "bad," it just means the prequels are different. i find the whole good/bad paradigm pretty suffocating in the first place but this is just so exhausting and i cannot believe that I've just managed to articulate it bc it seems shockingly obvious in retrospect.

also the video in question is just like factually wrong multiple times, he flat out admits he skips a lot of the season but then complains that the season doesn't make sense when he's jumping in at a random point, he complains that the previous seasons are meaningless but it's like has he forgotten that the audience doesn't forget stuff even if the characters have (and they even get their memories back in a thematically important and resonant moment the defines who the characters want to be so it's not really even entirely sound criticism) and that the show is intentionally trying to do interesting parallels and reversals of the stuff we've seen before, it's like commenting on itself because season 7 is a nostalgic look back at what the comics have been and what the show started from, and about the nostalgic feelings of that time and their appeal contrasted with the brutal truths of the reality of the situation, like this is just basic art criticism, i'm not even like trying to defend the season, like i don't even like season 7 that much, i think it's one of the more boring seasons and it ranks towards the middle for me, but like this is not like deep criticism where you're thinking and analyzing a lot, this is just seeing what the plot of the episodes is and what they're trying to communicate, it's just maddening how fucking exhausting the objective criticism shit is but it's actually even more grating when you don't pretend to be superior about it because it makes it seem like you're not even bold enough to stand by your opinions and actually embrace the implication present in the shit you are saying, like it's just cowardice, honestly. but anyway, glad i figured it out, because it was honestly irritating me that i couldn't articulate why i didn't like those videos beyond just them being wrong about Riverdale on like a factual level and him just not understanding what it's trying to say as a piece of art.

the point of this isn't to say that i think he's making these arguments in bad faith or anything, i do think these are genuinely opinions he holds, and they are valid opinions for him to hold, i'm not saying they're invalid, you can prefer one aspect of a piece of media over other aspects because it's more important to you, that's okay, i'm just saying they're misinformed takes and generally display a shocking lack of imagination and respect for art and no desire to broaden his horizons.

anyway, if you actually want to understand the appeal of Riverdale, the Super Eyepatchwolf video is pretty good, i still disagree with it a lot but at least the man tries to understand why people like the show and he even gets some part of the appeal, and we are going to get 4 5-hour videos from Lily Simpson over the next few months so i'm looking forward to those, bc Lily generally tends to at least understand the appeal of the stuff she talks about, and the title of the first video ("the captivating madness of Riverdale" [though i don't love the use of "madness"]) is already enough to make me feel like somebody kinda gets it and hopefully it'll be more coherent actual art analysis.

[hestzhyen]

Food in the Edgy Sword Manga: A Summary

This is long because I hit the image cap but I at least managed to keep things succinct for once in my life.

In short: Kagurabachi has been using food as obvious symbolism for connection, trust, general well-being, and/or mutual understanding since the beginning.

Chapter 1

Moments like these are cherished memories that Chihiro keeps close to his heart. Note his relaxed, open posture compared to the next image.

Three years later, Chihiro is turning down Mr. Shiba's small offer of comfort. He still relies on Mr. Shiba and cares a great deal for him, obviously, but his heart is closed off now.

Vs. Sojo Arc

Chapter 3

Our first obvious glimpse into the kind nature Chihiro tries to smother with edginess. He'll turn down comfort from others but he'll easily offer some to a scruffy orphan. He even makes sure he gets down to her eye level to reassure her when doing so (Hinao also did the same earlier in the chapter). Take notes, Mr. Shiba.

World's Hardest-Working Uncle Figure doing the clarifying monologue shtick to perfection as always. Just so we know that this bit with Char is perfectly in-character for Chihiro.

Char doesn't trust Chihiro yet, but she's willing to help him with his own quest at least. They connected over the meal (short-lived as it was).

Chapter 5

Chihiro being run ragged by a hungry, lonely little girl should trounce any lingering doubts that this guy is an uncaring revenge bot. You can tell by his thoughts and dialogue here that despite his brusque attitude, he's more focused on Char's quirks and well-being than the information she can offer him. And Char reciprocates by starting to let her guard down- his altruism when providing security and comfort gets her to trust him completely.

Again food being used to reference someone's well-being. Living as a science experiment in captivity was terrible even when she still had her mom (obviously). But Char's safe now with access to good food through Chihiro. Or so she hopes.

Chapter 6

Chihiro's cherished memories of his dad are corrupted thanks to the trauma sorcerer. A meal interrupted, trust and safety shattered. Only hatred is left according to Chihiro when he comes to. ...But he's not exactly the most trustworthy guy when it comes to his own status.

Instead of the science lab or the cell itself we see a tray of indistinct mush and water in a cage. Just a gentle way of bonking us over the head that the food metaphors are supposed to be obvious- and that whatever is waiting for Char back there with Sojo is not good for her (or anyone really).

The comfort Chihiro offers is a bit awkward and messy, but it's still wholesome as fuck. He's willing to give it at his own expense too. Someone please give this boy a hug.

Chapter 11

Poor Mr. Shiba. One day he'll find someone who appreciates his awkward attempts to help people. At least Hinao didn't turn him down despite the poor presentation.

Between this scene and the grilled smelt from Chapter 1, it's pretty obvious that Shiba sucks at trying to be a source of comfort, but at least he tries.

Alone and back to being mistreated. Oh, Char...

Chapter 15

Just like Chihiro, this represents the precious memories Char has of her mom. When she was safe and loved.

And once again, safety and comfort are brutally ripped away from a child and their only parent.

... but what was lost can be found again in the right people.

May nothing bad ever happen to Char again. I mean it.

Chapter 17

Ah, one of my favorite tropes! Interrupting a fierce battle scene to show the combatants having a casual chat! This time, there's no comfort or security to be had through sharing food, though. Instead, this is exchange is purely about connecting and understanding each others' views.

A bit of trivia: these guys are probably eating hanami (a.k.a. sanshoku) dango which are usually eaten while viewing cherry blossom trees in the spring. They're sweet and thus extra unappetizing for Chihiro (he dislikes sweet foods and drinks in general).

Sojo initiates and eats a single dango. He begrudgingly accepts that Chihiro's view of Kunishige's legacy is legitimate.

As the conversation goes on, Chihiro accepts Sojo's interpretation in turn. Both of them are correct. And yet:

Chihiro painfully finishes his dango while Sojo is content to leave just the first one eaten. This is Chihiro being willing and able to swallow the whole truth and all it's implications, no matter how unpleasant the experience is. Meanwhile Sojo cares more about being the one with the "most correct" interpretation. Chihiro ended up getting more out of the conversation than Sojo did, which gave him the edge he needed to win the fight.

And that's the end of the Vs. Sojo arc. The food references aren't as common past this point, but they still show up to give some extra context in a few scenes.

Rakuzaichi Arc

Chapter 19

Hakuri's just a fuckin' mess dude- alone, insecure, and can't give himself any kind of reassurance. Given what what we can infer from his monologue, it's pretty obvious this guy is going through it and not coping as well as he thinks he is.

Chapter 26

Our spaghetti queen and parfait king share a meal to let us know that they're pretty comfortable with each other... though outsiders might not get what their deal is. It's casual and they chat like they've known each other for a while. Tafuku and Hiyuki's relationship is solid despite the yawning chasm between their personalities.

Once again Shiba's good intentions are turned down. At least Char is comfortable enough to let Team Goldfish know about her wants and needs now though!

Meanwhile, Hakuri isn't ready or willing to let anyone console him, but least we have better insight as to why he struggles to keep his shit together. Most people would- and we haven't even seen the worst of his circumstances yet.

Chapter 28

After a few days of encouragement from Chihiro and helping out, Hakuri finally lets himself be treated a little. He earned himself a bit of security and respite but is still uneasy, and thus quick to let the warm fuzzies go (hence passing the ice cream to Char instead of bringing it with him). Neither Chihiro nor Shiba have any themselves.

Chapter 35

Oh man. Oh boy. Time to really get into why Hakuri is the way he is. This could be a whole post by itself but I'll try to be brief. (Honest.)

Shout out to the KB Confession account on Twitter for letting me ramble in their inbox with that long-ass submission about how Hakuri relates to food in this series. I've reworked it poorly here (so much for being anonymous I guess).

Sazanami prison food looks better than what Char was getting, but it's not out of kindness- everything in this place exists for the Rakuzaichi. Hakuri obviously sees himself as no different. He threatens to keep Ice Lady alive no matter what she wants because that's his job; there's no affection or compassion involved when he provides her meals.

Ice Lady seems to want to genuinely connect with Hakuri though. Even when she fails to manipulate him, she keeps the offer of companionship open to him since she's empathetic to his situation.

It works as she thought it would, but maybe not as she hoped. We see him coming to trust and find comfort in her as she leaves less food behind each time, but she's unable to find the same in him. His insistence on their one-sided relationship through food only pushed Ice Lady further and further away despite her apparent growing affection for him. He got it all wrong because he didn't know any better. It's painful to love and be loved as a Sazanami- especially a worthless defect like him. Hakuri wasn't able to understand the ramifications of how fucked up his situation was until Ice Lady slit her throat in his face.

Up until this point, providing food was a positive thing- people connecting and usually finding comfort. At the bare minimum it allowed Chihiro and Sojo to understand each other before the end. But Hakuri inverted and distorted the meaning of sharing food with someone. His actions helped him break free from his family's grip by revealing that he doesn't know what it means to properly offer and reciprocate genuine human connection. So now Hakuri probably associates sharing food with being used and hurting other people.

That's why we haven't seen him share a meal with Team Goldfish or anyone else yet IMO. For all that he's attached himself to Chihiro, he still hasn't exchanged any food with him. Hakuri only trusts that Chihiro saw something worthwhile in in him, that through him there might be hope outside the cage after all. He's barely beginning to see himself as a useful tool. Once he gets to the probably not a horrible human being mindset is where we might see him be able to open up and try to share food again.

Chapter 43

The normal loving family that could have been, if not for Kyora and the clan's slavish devotion to the Rakuzaichi. It's sad but not suspicious that Mrs. Sazanami isn't included much in the meal- all signs from this chapter point to a joyless arranged marriage after all. Her not participating with her husband and sons speaks volumes about how distant and miserable she must have felt despite (presumably) making that spread. To provide care, comfort, and love while not being able to partake of it is all too common for mothers.

And so, another arc concludes with people sitting down to eat together despite some of them being doomed to die. And an exploding building. Gotta have both in Kagurabachi.

Kamunabi Arc

Chapter 45

Hey Chihiro, whatever happened to waking up with fresh hatred every morning? lmao

I love these goofs so much. It's just snacks on a coffee table, but it shows that Hiyuki and Tafuku have earned some level of trust from Team Goldfish. Shiba trusted them enough to supervise their stay in the same room as his sleeping nephews at least. And Char's already completely won over apparently. This manga does not miss on the found family wholesomeness.

Hiyuki might see the Kamunabi as a sort of family. At the very least, they're an important safety net for society as a whole. Hence us seeing the food again- protection and security.

So who and what will be next? Chihiro bonding with Hiyuki and Tafuku? Kazane turning someone's offer down? Chihiro, Hakuri, and some new coworkers chatting over lunch in the Kamunabi's cafeteria? I'm definitely going to be on the lookout! Until next time, Bachibros.

[ohno-myfeefees]

Good omens 2

Finally got around to watching good omens season 2 and just jotting down my thoughts.

I like the ending, aziraphale has always been very holier than thou and he thinks heaven is the best and god is the best so it makes sense that when given a chance to go back to heaven and make someone he likes his little nepo pet he will take it.

Also when Crowley points out that he was offered to come back to hell and he said no, aziraphale goes “well obviously you said no, you’re the bad guys”, as if the angels of heaven didn’t attempt to start Armageddon, kill all of Job’s children, and erase him from existence more than once (saved both times by bad guy Crowley mind you)

I like that when Jim said “I love you” to aziraphale, aziraphale didn’t say it back.

I feel like Crowley kissed aziraphale not cause he cared much about kissing or anything but he thinks that’s what you (or humans) do to show how much you love someone. “One fabulous kiss and we’re good”

I disliked Nina and Maggie, they were off putting together and boring and had no chemistry. But at the same time I also think that was the point. Maggie had a weird stalkerish schoolgirl crush on Nina who was in a terrible and abusive relationship that finally ended and she just wanted to live her life. Any scene with them induced cringe and just dragged on and on. Two heavenly beings decided to then try to forcefully pair them together. It makes sense that the ship doesn’t sail and I’m glad it didn’t and I hope it never does.

People complaining about how grumpy and cold and unlikable Nina is but she’s constantly being hounded by a stalker that she has no attraction to. If I was in her shoes I’d be as dismissive and rude as possible in hopes they leave me alone. Especially if you’re a woman, you should understand how insufferable Maggie is being and she doesn’t get a pass just because she is also a woman/attracted to women.

“I hAvE bRotHerS” stfu Maggie

I hate that Nina called Maggie “angel”, it’s so cheap.

Still hate his royal smugness Gabriel, especially since he got his memories back. Him being Jim for a season didn’t change my feelings and I think Gabriel and beelzebub’s relationship was weird with not much chemistry either.

I like Muriel, she is cute and innocent and naive. I feel like she is the cinnamon roll that most fanfic writers seem to imagine aziraphale to be.

Shax was only a good character at the start. Once she started getting her solo moment in hell and commandeering an army she got boring fast. Her initial relationship with Crowley was compelling as she took over his old position but her character was not consistent.

Archangel Michael’s incompetence and ignorance of anything human is pretty funny this season. I enjoyed seeing more of the angel bureaucracy fleshed out.

Beelzebub was pretty meh this season, too cutesy and not enough deadpan “why is everyone I work with an idiot” and “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Wtf was furfur even there for

Fav scene was the Nina “how’s your naked man… friend” and Muriel’s visit to the bookshop for the first time.

I found Crowley being able to access Gabriel’s file interesting especially knowing the clearance level needed and I hope they do something with it.

Just because I didn’t like some of the side characters from season 2 doesn’t mean I miss the side characters for season 1. Anathema, whatshisface unlucky glasses guy, racist abusive Shadwell, and “the them” were all also meh. They worked with the story but I didn’t actually like them or their characters.

Muriel is the best side character ever created aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The season overall was hit or miss, the writing wasn’t very tight, and I found some of the characters very boring and cringey and a lot of the story and characters lack subtlety.

[moralesmilesanhour]

AND ANOTHER THING! Going off of my tags on my previous post, outside of me just thinking they're cute I also feel like flowerbyte works better for me purely on a narrative level. One of my biggest pet peeves esp for action movies is when the romantic subplot takes over like half the story without proper development. It doesn't matter WHO it is or how much I like the characters individually I will literally fast forward through every romantic scene if it feels shoehorned in. It makes it so tedious you don't even understand. (Haterism ahead. Well not really 'hate' just mild irritation really. this is looong):

So let's look at Gwen and Miles' relationsip. We start ITSV with Miles basically having a one-sided crush on Gwen. By the end of the film they had just agreed to be friends and have known each other for maybe like a week tops, and *maybe* Gwen reciprocates but it's not extremely clear. Whatever occurs between them in between ITSV and ATSV, we don't see (it's implied that they haven't even seen each other at all for obvious reasons so. oof).

But then we jump into ATSV, and suddenly they're swinging into the sunset talking about how they're "the same"...? Besties. Friends. Niece and nephew. Neither of you know each other dfghjkl

Then the wholeee rest of their scenes together is just the film trying desperately convince us through the music, framing, and even other characters' dialogue that there is romantic (notice how i specify ROMANTIC) tension between these two kids that is just so thick you could cut through it with a butter knife. I'm sorry, but is this tension in the room with us right now...? But okay movie.

Now, compare that to the scene in ATSV where Miles and Margo first bump into each other. They're able to establish romantic chemistry almost IMMEDIATELY! One look and a 'hey'. That's all it fuckin' took! They *both* like each other and it's clear as day.

Then right after, Margo is given a quick implied backstory that instantly gives her and Miles a reason to relate to each other that isn't (necessarily) just about them both being Spider-Man (because, in Margo's words, they're ALL Spider-Man and this means you need more than that to form a genuine connection). Neither of them feel like they can be themselves because their environment at home doesn't allow for it, even without the secret identity. Bada-bing bada-boom instant connection in under 5 minutes and I am still awake by the end of it.

Then, finally, we get a scene that shows that they can, to some extent, trust each other. Margo only just met this dude a few scenes ago, but she immediately goes against Miguel's wishes knowing the consequences and attempts to send him back home because her convictions are stronger than her loyalty to Spider Society. Just that act alone makes her a better ally to Miles than like, half the cast at this point.

...And that creates a bit of a dilemma if Gwiles is meant to be endgame.

As literally everyone and their mother have pointed out by now, Gwen is objectively a bad friend to Miles in this film. But...I would also argue that there are very few instances outside of combat in either film where she's even a *good* friend. And that's sort of the point, isn't it? Gwen has been terrible at friendship for the majority of the time we spend with her because she's traumatized from literally murdering the last good friend she had. Then her dad tried to shoot her. Then Miguel-- you know how it goes. She clearly has a long way to go before even a healthy *friendship* with Miles can start to develop. So that leaves me with a few questions:

A) Why did we wait until the last scene of the SECOND FILM for her to finally decide to be a good friend

B) Why didn't they just give Miles and Gwen more scenes together where they actually get to know each other if their relationship is now so important to the story, and:

C) If Gwen's whole journey is about her inability to maintain strong friendships...Why the FUCK is she the love interest then???

Either we all just got baited, or we are now going to have to spend a decent portion of BTSV watching Gwen try to salvage a friendship that was barely even that developed to begin with, convince the guy whose trust she just lost that she would ALSO make a good girlfriend i guess, and all the while there is now another potential love interest that is clearly, *according to the movie itself*, the better option (or so it seems for now). So like...Where do we go from here?? It just feels like a clumsy narrative decision. And if they do the misogynistic ass 'cat-fight' between two female characters over the main guy I will literally commit a felony. So yeah that's where my head is at right now thank you for reading all the way through my tangent over pixels on a screen sorry everybody

[liesmyth]

Okay but when John says "all of them" in response to "how many babies died" I think like, there's also some tragedy in the fact he's probably not lying at all. Like, obviously everyone died when the bombs went off, but what about the resurrection? I think it's like, extremely possible that John just didn't really bring back anyone other than adults. We're shown that even with his godlike powers there are limits, and Harrow especially I think gives a hint children might be one of them. He seems more in awe about what Harrow's parents did than anything, he talks about how he tried doing it and failed, and I think he feels some regret about his abilities.

We're only given a small idea of what life is like after resurrection, but from what we understand it's a lot of learning and a lot of weirdness. Additionally like, kids and babies have weirdness. They have parts of their brains that need to change levels depending on the lifespan, they have hormones that need to start more and stop more as they get older. They have bones that are soft bones that merge together and bones that form. We also know small scale is where God has some trouble, like being able to stop tumors but not blood cancer

I think it's really likely that John didn't attempt to resurrect kids, or was unable. He didn't want to put newly resurrected people in caretaker positions, he didn't want to risk messing up or causing problems. I think it's likely that later on he even tried, and just outright failed and has some guilt over it

My personal head canon is that he might have even tried to create a kid for himself in the past. The way he specifically calls out what Harrow's parents did as something he knows the logistics of tells me he's probably thought of it. My like, theory is that while he was killing planets and stuff he at one point attempted to try and use the bloom to create a kid for him and Alecto or to resurrect kids, and just had no idea how to make it work SO yeah TLDR: I think God talking about how all the babies died has actually some guilt on John's part, and ties into his guilt he angrily refuses to release himself from. Both that he's potentially unable to resurrect kids, but also that he was potentially unable to make a kid of his own like Harrow's parents did

THIS FUCKED ME UP. THANK YOu.

Ok. Listen. I actually never considered "he couldn't bring back children" before (or "he tried and went horribly wrong") but this is a 10/10 chef kiss heartbreaking headcanon. Terrible. All of them. Wow

Also. I lowkey think that John's bone crown is made of baby fingers specifically for a purpose, and IMO it's as a reminder to himself. I know this is somewhat #controversial, but I really don't read the baby bone crown as an Evil Symbol of Evil — House culture seem very much to be pro carrying around bits of your dead. I think it'd be a very John thing to make a symbol of office out of the dead children of humanity, and then interpret it as a memento to himself that there can be no forgiveness, as long as I have breath in my body etc, instead of a reminder that he shouldn't fucking nuke a planet. Anyway, I think the bone crown is, like, 40% a way to show respect to the dead and 60% because he thought it looked cool.

(Doylistically, the bone crown absoluely exists because Taz thought it looked cool)

Anyway. Before seeing this ask, my personal interpretation of John's familiarity with the details of what Harrow's parents did is that he understands the mechanics because resurrecting humanity + necromancy involved using some of that death energy, and possibly souls as fuel, to introduce necromancy to humanity. I'm not married to this theory because IMO if John had been able to pick and choose who was to be resurrected as an adept, we wouldn't have ended up with quite the same necro/cav pairings, but I'm not married to this guess either... it's just a whole bunch of guessing. Now this sad headcanon rerooted my brain so I'm again Considering Things

[neallo]

Umm what are your meronia divorce headcanons? 😇 Yes I am baiting you into posting those tags you wrote because they were SO CORRECT

HGFDSJFSDFSD <3 <3 <3 GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THEM AS EXES... BLESS YOU...

Okay. So. BROADLY. Here is how I imagine they break up:

Mello, being literally so fucking bad at understanding Near and also being so bad at being normal in general and ALSO being bad at seeing his own value... I could see him suggesting breaking up as a way to test if Near really cares about him (this is deranged but so is he) and getting DEEPLY hurt when Near is not sobbing screaming crying on the floor pleading for him to stay. IMO Near is actually genuinely gutted in pretty much any situation where they part ways, but he sees that as his problem to deal with. He's not going to attempt to coerce Mello into staying in a relationship that he's (evidently) not happy in. There are. UM. Exceptions to this. But we won't get into that (<- lazy and also IDK if I can do it without spoiling a future story).

The biggest problem here is that even when Mello realizes he's miserable without Near etc etc etc he's wayyyy too proud to actually admit he made a mistake ending their relationship. I do think, however, that he would struggle to long-term stay away from Near fully. His impulse control is pretty bad so, like. Y'know.

I'll, uh. Refrain. From belaboring the point here [<- already plagued empress with the most disorganized thoughts imaginable yesterday about this ghsgjfsfhsdf] but I love the idea of a situation where they're exes because of Mello being chaotic and terrible and then he continues to be chaotic and terrible by starting to sleep with Near on a multiple-times-a-week basis again without actually acknowledging that they're effectively dating.

Like he's not fucking anyone else, he tells people he's not single, but he will NOT ask Near to get back together. He will however take literally one shot of tequila and just leave the bar or party & walk to Near's. "Ohhh I was just in the area" <- he had to walk 30 minutes to get there and climb up three stories of fire escape to do this. And he WOULD walk further if that was what was required.

Near is very nice and pretends like this is normal behavior because IMO he on some level realizes Mello is profoundly dysfunctional and is trying to figure out how he's supposed to deal with the whole thing (but is still in love enough and sufficiently used to Mello's deranged nature to put up with it <3 ).

Bonus points in my mind if this is a college AU or s/t and Near is roommates with Gevanni, who Mello fucking HATES on principle (read: is attractive and in Near's general vicinity, therefore must die). He has only met George (<- intentionally gets Gevanni's name wrong) a handful of times, but he was REALLY annoyed to find out that Gene didn't even know who he was bc CERTAINLY Near would have mentioned him. Gerald should really pay better attention :/ [Near is an undergrad student, Gevanni is a PhD candidate who desperately needed to sublet somewhere cheap and thought he lucked out w/ the most relaxed quiet tidy roommate Ever until this rude blonde guy started showing up and having loud sex with Near 2-3x a week]

[goddamnwebcomics]

Mary Sue or Not?

There is nothing in the modern Twattersphere that angers me more than words losing their meaning and semantics. I will never EVER use a word I feel has lost all meaning unless I use it in its proper context and with a proper MEANING. But there is one word I admit I used a lot back in the early days and even post-hiatus days of my blog, "Mary Sue".

Here is the most objective definition of the term.

A Mary Sue is a character archetype in fiction, typically a young female, characterized by an implausible level of competence, unique talents or powers, and attractiveness. These characters are often universally liked or respected within their narrative, possess minimal realistic flaws, and exhibit innate virtues. Originating from fanfiction, a Mary Sue often serves as an idealized version of the author, fulfilling a wish-fulfillment role. While the term is gendered, it can apply to both female and male characters, with the male equivalents sometimes referred to as Gary Stu or Marty Stu.

Let's look at past characters I've labeled as Mary Sues or Gary Stus and see if they match the description.

Mora Linda (Las Lindas)

Even back then I hated to use this word, but apparently I used it to describe everyone's favorite cow asshole because...she got kissed by Minos.

Mora is NOT universally liked, even when you disqualify someone like Alejandra. Rachel and Miles both dislike her, which is why they bonded in the first place (ew). She has also received constructive criticism from Buttdog, Alejandra post-redemption and even Minos. Even then Mora is by no means shown to be a perfect bunny. It's just that Soulkat is a horrible writer, and can't portray Mora in sympathetic light. If she were flawless, perfect being, she would actually be way more likable. She is supposed to be a strong independent no-bullshit matriarch of the house with alleged street smart tendencies, but instead comes across like a fucking drunkard asshole who verbally and emotionally abuses her employees and cries constantly to manipulate people to do her bidding. We should've seen her develop into a better character by now, but anytime a character shows up who should improve Mora (like Alej or Randall), they instead become more like her. I can see how someone might think she is a Mary Sue though because of how she marries a Crest, is the daughter of a weird powerful God being and she is desired by multiple men, but that's just meant to give a reason for why Lady Ambar is constantly watching over her.

Mora is a terrible protagonist but she is not a Mary Sue, even if the comic treats her like she is right most of the time. She's supposed to have an arc, but that arc doesn't work because she barely changes. Being badly written doesn't automatically make someone a Mary Sue. Have some nuance for fucks sake.

Llewlyn Connor (Warmage)

Llew is a Mary Sue because he can fly and he was mentored by a group of witches. I...what?

Now to be fair, I was only starting the comic, but Llew is...complicated. Outside of the spanking scene, Llewlyn is completely boring protagonist. It's just that he gets into a lot of...bizarre situations. Yes, every woman in his life wants to fuck him but it's clear it's not necessarily because he is attractive but it's rather his bizarre hindu-pagan beliefs. I think it was an attempt from Dumok to make an audience surrogate, but then he also gets raped??? However, the comic doesn't treat him like he is always right, he isn't actually that important, and there are other superheroes besides him? A lot of stuff in the comic happens without him being actively involved. It's not really until Miguel Sanchez disguises himself as him that he becomes important.

Again, Llew is less of a Mary Sue than Mora is, but he is still averagely badly written protagonist. He is trying really hard to be the Hindu-Pagan Batman. And let's not even talk about his "Chaotic Neutrality".

Speaking of Warmage...

Tsuki (Warmage)

I am not going to link the post where I said it due to uncensored nudity, but I just called Tsuki "Dumok's favorite Mary Sue" at one point.

Tsuki is a ridiculously written character, and she was the worst character ever in the blog before Riley came along. She is not perfect though, she is shown to be flawed, hell that's why the infamous spanking scene happened in the first place! She also isn't universally beloved as she has beef with Lewis other ladies like Kriti and Laranya.

Speaking of Riley, if I were riffing Alien Dice in 2017 I would've called Riley a Mary Sue probably. Almost like being a "Mary Sue" is not the worst character trait, even if it is pretty bad.

Dominic Deegan (Dominic Deegan)

You could dig up countless examples from early days of the comic where I call Deegan a Mary Sue or Gary Stu.

I admit, Deegan is definitely Mookie's bitchboy and the fact he's saved the world several times and he's stated to be Right About EVERYTHING does have some Gary Stu qualities buuuuuut, I've actually done some thinking and Deegan isn't actually that hateable as a person. Yes he is arrogant snobfuck, but unlike someone like Mora, he doesn't treat his friends like shit. He is a misanthropist but not a cynical asshole. He likes to crack jokes sometimes and characters sometimes cringe at those jokes, that's why Punchline Face exists.

On top of that, Deegan losing control of his emotions is something Mookie is actually aware of. Like he did apologize at the end of Battle of Barthis for getting so mad over Serk Brakkis's misdeeds. It's just that Deegan's outbursts outside of that arc are never called out. That, and I have actually felt bad for him or even had to defend him sometimes. Also he isn't in charge of forgiving Stoneraper for his rape at any point either.

Where my biggest problem lies with Deegan is his powers. He is so goddamn overpowered, you'd think he could beat anyone. It's also that Deegan has never actually lost in a fight, even if he has been betrayed. His powers are not defined and he has stopped existential threats by himself. He just becomes a generic shonen protagonist when he isn't in a grounded environment, and that's the problem. If those elements didn't exist, and his searing ability was just an ability to see to the future, I would be speaking a different tone about him. Deegan should have been corrupted by the amount of power he possesses a long time ago. I think the lack of infallibility on his part does make him close to Mary Sue but even then that's like...hundred miles away.

Luna Travoria (Dominic Deegan)

I say she is a Mary Sue because she creates a formula for potion that turns sand into water, among other things.

Thus far, Luna is probably the closest to an actual Mary Sue. She is actually far worse when it comes to character shilling than Deegan is, especially in the most recent arc as of the writing of this comic. There is also the fact she used to be a nobody, but after being thrust into Maltak arc, we learn she is the CHOSEN ONE and the reason she has tusks is because of a curse created by Shintula Chief that turned gave a bunch of babies tusks. There's also the fact she's somehow the only good person in her family of assholes. She also cries even more than Mora does. We know Luna used to hate herself and she was very suicidal, but she eventually gets shoveled in endless praise and Dominic's support. Unlike Deegan, she is very rarely shown to be wrong about something. Even when she loses her pregnancy it's constantly stated to be a good thing.

Her constant crying and occasional tusk discourse is the only thing that reminds us of her old depressed self. I get that Mooks wanted to make an inspiring story, but instead it creates a picture of a person who is using their abuse and depression to dodge criticism and constantly demand for praise. But even if you asked me if Luna was a Mary Sue, I would still say "Kinda". The reason for that is the tusk discourse, and as a result she frequently gets insulted and distrusted and even other orcs don't like her due to her tusks. And it's not like there is a crowd of men wanting to fuck her.

Heather Brown/Spinnerette (Spinnerette)

I called her a Mary Sue because she has fool's luck, basically she is able to dodge any attack and misfortune by being a dumbass.

Heather is a dumbass who has things ALWAYS work out for her no matter what when realistically she should have destroyed herself. I agree with that. On top of that, she is a Trend Lesbian who doesn't understand what being attracted to women means, and she treats her girlfriend who is slowly dying like an object of attraction rather than someone she cares about.

Honestly Spinnerette at this point has much bigger problems than Heather. She has better chemistry with Sarah Nicole than her own GF, so she is not completely hateable but also she lacks humanity. Even when she does something stupid, she is easily forgiven.

Spinny is not Mary Sue, she is just gimmicky, much like every other character Kraw writes.

Now it's time to get into the webcomic with the most compelling arguments for Mary Sues, Gene Catlow.

Cotton Taylor (Gene Catlow)

The problem with Cotton is that, in a comic called Gene Catlow, he takes the center stage for the first arc. The problem is, the world of Gene Catlow isn't established before Cotton gets his powers. We are shown all his flaws and personal issues after he drinks Coffee^2. We're only shown his tendency to yell at people and be hyperactive, when after he drinks his coffee we also learn he has a tendency for violence, doesn't hesitate killing, and hell, we only learn way way way later in the comic that he grew up an orphan. With how long Gene Catlow ended up being, a slow start would have really paid off with Cotton, but don't have him hog the spotlight for being so early. The start would also make him eventually gaining his powers more interesting, since we now know Cotton has issues, and are looking forward to if he can handle that power responsibly.

I think the Mary Sue accusations come from the fact Cotton isn't called out enough when he does stupid shit. Gene and Catwhis only get mad at him when Cotton really wants to know about the Stagglers, which the audience also wants to know about because they never explain those fucking things until it's really late.

Other than that and Cotton never really struggling with the extent of his powers, I don't think he is a Mary Sue. In fact, I do feel bad for him because the rest of the comic pretty much cucks him. His position as the savior of the bunnies is taken over by not only Clayton, a rando who worked for Matt most of his life, but also Michelle, and speaking of...

Michelle (Gene Catlow)

In my original riff I treat Michelle like the second coming of Satan but in retrospect, I actually think she is a cute and funny character who actually helps people rather than try to convert them to join some stupid Friendship Islandian cause. However, I still think that she is completely unfitting to the comic in terms of her tone. She feels like a kid appeal character in a comic that regularly references sex and gore. She is also really really powerful even when she isn't born.

Michelle is not a Mary Sue mainly because there are times when even Albert knows to pull back on Michelle. Like she completely stops appearing towards the end due to her going through the process of being born and just being absolutely miserable. If we had ever seen her alive and in the flesh, I might be speaking a different tone entirely, but don't worry, she is somehow not as omnipresent as our next characters.

Gene and Catwhis (Gene Catlow)

Gene and Catwhis are really fucking powerful, any person forced to debate them in power scale context will lose their sanity. I have not forgotten about this infamous scene.

But even then, Gene and Catwhis are both shown to have enough flaws to dodge the Mary Sue allegations. Well okay, Gene is the flawed one because of how he is affected by his ancestor who's constantly trying to bring out Gene's primal rage, which causes Catwhis to go "remember to not kill anyone dear" whenever a single wrinkle appears in Gene's face.

Catwhis on the other hand, she is like a fusion of Mora and Luna. She is openly abusive towards Gene, and she often gets into squabbles with him over the pettiest shit. Sometimes you don't know if she loves Gene. She never gets called out at any point like Gene sometimes gets called out. And most of the time she goes on hypocritical ra ra speeches and never considers other people's opinions. If "never considers other people's opinions" makes someone a Mary Sue, does that mean every Twitter user is a Mary Sue?

That unrelated tangent aside, I don't really have too many arguments against Catwhis being a Mary Sue. The only reason I really don't call her that is that out of all the spy cams in this comic, she detects Matt's bullshit the least, the only time she detected anything Matt did was when he abused Borzoi, which reminded her of the "abuse" she received at Matt's hands. As far as Spycam Moments are concerned, that is actually kind of justified, as she is a repositor and all. And her repository skills are more well defined than Deegan's seer powers.

But, if there is one thing I would call a Mary Sue in this blog without a doubt, it wouldn't be one character, it wouldn't even be a character, but rather a concept of a group.

Family of Intelligent Life (Gene Catlow)

Where do I begin? Family of Intelligent Life is early on established to be the STRONGEST GROUP OF ALL TIME. and that is not even getting into all the things those fucking suits do. Or what Simmy does. Or how many allies the Family has. Or how they employ child soldiers and it's somehow a good thing. Or how they resurrected the dead. Or how easy everyone somehow gets along. Or how the Family is able to detect ANYTHING. Family of Intelligent Life is a testament to Albert Temple's anti-individualism. It's a group fallacy that states if there are a lot of people doing stuff together, nothing can go wrong and they never disagree on anything. They don't even have any roles, and they can give each other their abilities on a whim. The ONLY flaw the group is ever shown to have is the possibility of Gene's Primal Rage spreading to other members, but Simmy is shown to work on that.

The fact they're able to get into each other's heads so easily without any conflict is ridiculous. Can you imagine if one of them found out about a controversial political opinion Crendall had? Or that Cat Sneed likes to use the Bear Equivalent of N-word in casual conversation which offends Eubie and his GF? Or that they all can't agree on what their favorite incarnation of Sonic the Hedgehog is? I don't want to know every opinion my friends have on everything, what makes you think I would want to share a headspace with a bunch of strangers?

There's also the fact, any sort of critique of The Family is treated as a byproduct of Ignorance. Even when Matt's family critiques it, they can't actually make constructive arguments against it and just say "IT'S DUMB." No offense to Taria.

Everything I laid out to you is what makes Family of Intelligent Life Mary Sue. It has implausible levels of competence and is capable of amazing unique powers, they are universally liked and respected by everyone our narrative considers good, and possess virtually no flaws. It is Albert Temple's collectivist wish fulfillment.

But if I was forced to name a Mary Sue that was actually a character, nobody fits that better than Derukui the Kittycat from Crash Bandicoot Retold. I'll talk more about her one day.

[amymbona]

Yes!! I can't stand scenes that are too explicit and pornographic, like in Mothering sunday or God's own country, like... damn do u really think we really need his dick that much?

I suppose a more creative approach could have been used here, for example, a sailor's girlfriend knocks on the door and josh?(Amy!! We need to come up with a name for him) gets up from his chair with an irritated sigh, writing something before, he thought that one of his soldiers was bothering him again about some stupid and obvious issue, but there she is, all so beautiful and perfect. He doesn't let her into his ship's cabin, but goes out into the corridor with her, tells to get away from him, but she teases him in response, and seduces him with her divine body. Eventually his lustful side takes over and he grabs her by the elbow, sees in the room, kisses her passionately and even in some ways roughly, pressing her against the door, and soon knocks her down on knees in front of him, unbuttoning his perfect black trousers to the thread.

In order not to show the dear viewers everything in detail, there may be a digression in another direction, as the soldiers discuss something very urgent and important, maybe even a threat of attack, and after the tension of the situation among everyone, directing thoughts to something else, we're already shown how they're out of breath lying on the bed, it is all damn spoiled, her curls have turned into strange interweavings, and the mascara is leaked.

She lies on his chest, trying to catch her breath, but it was not so easy and the admiral quickly gets out of bed, getting dressed, the girl is in shock, not understanding his behavior, grabs him by the shoulder, and josh recoils and demands that she leave his room. Woman argues with him, says that she will not go anywhere and will be with him! and in the end, having angered him, he throws her out in her underwear, throwing a dress at her(cruel, but that's his nature).

There are some terrible pronouns here and it pisses me off that everything is repeated, but this is a sketch, so 🙄🙄

Baby, I'm ready to make a movie, just write when hah

I love love love it when sex in a movie is a metaphor for something, mainly for gaining or losing control. It's so fucking scrumptious when the constant teasing and temptation finally catches up with the character and he does something completely irrational just in the heat of the moment. Like our man choosing to fuck this girl's mouth.

There's such a beauty about sex being in contrast with something. Imagine some classical music in the background, like Vivaldi's four seasons or something that doesn't fit the setting at all, but it makes all the emotions flow through on such a different level. His character is so nasty and bitchy and the music is a complete contrast, a baroque piece, a work of art that he could never appreciate. But somehow, it's perfect in that situation.

I also find it incredibly satisfying when the sounds are reduced. Like all you see is his ass from one angle, and then from the other one her neat curls covering his crotch. But you don't hear anything, no moans, no groans, no anything. You're only left to imagine whether they are holding back, attempting to be silent or just letting it all out. Do you see the vision?

We certainly need to work on this man's name. Let's assume his is in his late 30s or early 40s. I googled some most used names from the time when he was born, let's pick one!

My personal favs are William (the girl would be the only person in the world who dares call him Will) and perhaps Henry or Thomas.

Also, if you want to, you can choose your emoji anon, so I know who's this clever person with such a big brain! :333

[zipper-neck]

I invite any advice on this...

So I had a fallout with my stepdad for the same reason I fell out with my sister years ago: They had asked me, just making conversation as I was preparing to leave the house, "Where are you going?" And I know perfectly well they didn't mean to cross any boundaries, but I am a very private person — and I remember as a child, when adults asked you "What are you doing?/ Where are you going?", it was because they were suspicious and meant to hinder you, like getting pulled over by a cop. I want my activities to be completely unnoticed (even if it's just going to the grocery store). This type of question strongly annoys me.

Anyways, in each case with my sister and stepdad, I had responded in a way I THOUGHT was level and diplomatic but both of them took it as rudeness. With my sister, I had said something like "Please don't ask that question," but she said my tone was aggressive. And I was like, yes I sounded angry because I WAS angry! But can't you tell I'm trying my best to keep my tone measured and not instead snap "Mind your own business!" like I wanted to? That's the problem with this situation is that I can't leave and cool off and answer their question later, because not answering would be seen as rude too! I eventually would apologize and say I was wrong, and ultimately she never asked me that question again, so the confrontation "worked."

So I tried to take this lesson and be even more level when my stepdad asked the same question, so I said, "I take that as an invasive question," and abruptly left out the door. (So not terribly successful.) I COULD have just answered where I was going, but at that moment I was in a nasty mood and I wanted his habit of asking tedious interrogative questions to end then and there (my sister agrees his method of conversation comes off as interrogative which annoys both of us so I'm not exaggerating too much here).

Both times, I was also operating on the advice that it's better to talk out grievances than to say nothing and stew in resentment to avoid outbursts later, right? But if I upset people by betraying my anger while trying to speak diplomatically, what's the point? Like, I get it, I've been angry because although someone made a simple request of me, I didn't like their slightly annoyed tone. But I let it go because I knew they were still trying to be as nice as they could in that moment and have the problem fixed.

But stepdad was more hurt than sister was, in a way I am having trouble understanding via his text message. He didn't like being rebuffed only for trying to show interest in me and my life, and I get that. He said "I didn't cross any fucking boundaries," which is true only because I had not yet established this boundary with him and was then attempting to do so, so he is not responsible for having no prior expectation of it. But this can also maybe be read, "I did not cross any REASONABLE boundaries," as in the level of privacy most people are expected not to cross.

But he has already been unhappy with my increase in secretive behavior lately and refusal to explain anything (a story I plan to tell them 10 years from now, it's that kind of a secret). He went on to say, "You can't shut out your family," and this is where I can't tell what he's thinking because he has different notions of familial bonds than me. Like, what is he smoking? I don't tell my family about shit unless I'm compelled to, it's been that way my whole life. Family is literally the LAST people I want to know about anything (I only trust the confessional of Tumblr strangers). Don't get me wrong, they are not abusive. I'm just super uncomfortable around people who Know Too Much about me, and if they live in my house, there's no escaping the discomfort if I regret opening up to them. But I think stepdad takes this personally? I wonder if it would help if I explained, "I'm not keeping things from you specifically; I'm keeping everything from everyone." I think he expects more openness in familial bonds in an idyllic fantasy, evinced by one time when he said I ought to use their Amazon Prime account and I said no, because he'd be able to see my browsing/purchase history. (And also fuck Amazon.) And he said, "You shouldn't be embarrassed, we're family." And I thought, "Did it cross your mind you could start seeing dildos on the 'for you' page? Again, what are you smoking?"

But the worst is that ultimately he wants a bond with his stepchildren and I am totally uninterested. And I think it's important I never admit this, that I never say, "Just literally treat me like a sublet tenant, please ignore me and don't take an interest in my life. And also don't expect holiday gifts from me because gifting is a pain in the ass. All I can give you is rent money because I can't provide an emotional bond. Aren't you so glad you live with me?" Like, there's a time when the truth should NOT be known.

Anyways. I haven't responded to his text yet because I don't know what I could say to make this better. I said sorry once but I seem to have caused even greater harm than I thought. I've been avoiding him all day. Any advice?