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#and general speculation I suppose
offshore-brinicle · 3 months
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One thing I've noticed that may or may not be important in C6 is the different ways Dante and Heathcliff react to insults.
Heathcliff displays his anger quite clearly, even more so towards those with little to no power over him. Dante tends to either immediately pivot over to trying to make a joke about it, staying silent, or changing the topic [like how with Caiman, they were like 'thx for not murdering her' instead of adressing the things she actually says].
This may pose an issue during the canto, esp if Dante wants to try and help Heathcliff before he could potentially spiral into become more like his book version. And given the title, I'm unsure how much they'll be able to do with what little reference they have in terms of this sorta stuff. We're, what, six months into this whole thing in-verse? That's not exactly a lot of time.
I do think C6 will be what makes Dante really look back at the other sinners, and try to understand them beyond first impressions, especially considering just how much Heath alone has changed up til now.
Plus, I think Rodya and Hong Lu will have some Moments, and a sullen look or two from Sinclair or Outis wouldn't be unexpected.
Honestly, I see this very possibly. Canto V was essentially the start of Dante actually being an active force in aiding the Sinners, after somewhat trying and failing with Sinclair back in Canto III and then not being particularly relevant in Yi Sang's journey and growth in Canto IV compared to other parties involved to then them being a huge factor in Ishmael's realization and her changing her mind in favor of a better path for herself by actively reaching out. It feels like things have been progressively getting better but taking in count Heathcliff's lifelong abuse and the comments in Yield my Flesh hinting that from now on is when the "actual" plot begins makes me feel like next chapter won't be as...easy or straightforward, they might potentially even fail to gain the Golden Bough.
Heathcliff himself has been dismissed so much by the others lately that it feels...intentional, as a friend of mine @/ishcliff has gone more in-depth into that, which will probably end up being the point of conflict this time as he drifts away from the others.
Another interesting example of how you mention Heathcliff's changes is that Meursault is also showing subtle changes himself for example, from talking about his mother unprompted to purposefully not telling on Aeng-du dragging Kim away despite being scolded for not commenting on Sinclair's panic attacks in III, so I wouldn't be surprised if there is more pre-Canto character exploration like you mention, and even more how that character growth will contrast with what's to come, even for Yi Sang who's character arc isn't exactly "complete" despite his breakthrough in Canto IV because the story of the League of Nine still isn't fully untangled and he states this as being his personal resolution to Dante from now on and he still hasn't actually confronted Gubo and then you have the reveal of Rim and Young-ji possibly still being alive and around somewhere
Even in Yield my Flesh again we also had the mention of how Don Quixote has become less reckless and then in V when Rodion pulled Ishmael to the side...and the Sinners have also become aware of the pattern of each one of them having their past exposed and being tested during their journey, so with Dante also wanting to grow close with everyone else and slowly forming that resolution to watch over them and stay by their side I wonder how this will all come to the forefront and how trends will be broken from now on
Thanks for the message! It's all very interesting things to ponder on and speculate, I cannot wait for Canto VI genuinely
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egophiliac · 1 month
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Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !
Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)
I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!
someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)
uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE
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#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 4 spoilers#mel is so cute but mal fits with the rest of the draconias better#eng version no you were supposed to save me not make things MORE confusing#anyway raverne huh#that uh. that sure feels like it's supposed to evoke raven doesn't it.#what does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN#hold on i'm going to flail around embarrassingly about anime character theories now#(okay first a disclaimer: i do think we need to sit down as a fandom at some point)#(and have a discussion about exactly what is actual canon versus meta speculation versus jokes)#(because i think there has been. some confusion. over that re:crowley and raverne specifically)#(but i do feel justified in being like THEY ARE PROBABLY CONNECTED SOMEHOW RIGHT?! right now)#like i really don't think it's as simple as crowley being raverne but with memory loss or something#(and if they pull that on us i'm going to need an EXTREMELY good explanation to go with it to justify that)#they've gone out of their way several times now to make a point about them acting and sounding different and it feels very intentional to m#(and once again: i super 100% absolutely do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him with the top half of his face covered)#i just think the contradictions are a lot stronger than the connections right now but there ARE some connections and i'm 👀ing at them#to be fair the connections are mostly meta like crowley being diablo/raverne being evocative of raven#also the general 'raverne mysteriously disappeared and apparently had distinctive eyes' thing#versus 'crowley's past is unknown and he never shows his eyes'#(i will argue that crowley DOES seem to have some kind of canon connection to briar valley)#(since he is clearly some sort of fae and the masks are a briar valley thing)#and that is kinda it right now isn't it#okay hold on i had to delete some tags because i used too many (thanks tumblr for letting me know and not just vanishing them OH WAIT)#so tl;dr: i'm in the 'crowley is connected to raverne somehow but it's more complicated than just him being in disguise' camp personally#but that will probably change as we get more info and also don't take this as an anti-speculation thing because i love theories HOORAY
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captaindeinony · 2 months
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Pokemas canon but
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raayllum · 10 months
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There's a chessboard in his dreams.
It doesn't show up often, but Ezran's dreams—or nightmares, he supposes, in this case—have always been reoccurring and strange. They're just more vivid and more violent, now that Aaravos is out. (Everything is worse now that Aaravos is out, now that Runaan is out, but Ezran doesn't blame his brother for either of them. He's not angry. Really.)
The chessboard isn't the one he grew up playing, coaxing his brother and dad and Claudia into games, the pieces painstakingly hand etched and with only the white ones painted. These ones are glossy, almost like glass, each piece having a perfect mirrored reflection of each other, like light and shadow.
And they're not knights or rooks either—but they are pawns.
The inside of the prison reflects the chess board, too, the glossy inside of a pearl even though it'd been smashed to pieces. It's what convinces him that this isn't real, that it's just a dream. (It can't be real. He won't let it be real.)
"Ah, King Ezran," Aaravos greets, seated in one chair behind the white set pieces. White always moves first—which makes sense. This game started centuries before Ezran was born. "How nice of you to join me."
Not that any of them have much of a choice, but Ezran takes a seat and grits his teeth. His crown always feels heavier here, even before he sees the way Aaravos picks up his pint-sized Callum and twirls him between his fingers.
"Are you and your dear brother fighting again?"
Yes, but—"Put him down," Ez growls out.
Aaravos raises a brow, but sets the game piece down on one of the white squares, next to a matching Rayla piece. "Not in the mood for games today, are you?" The Startouch elf steeples his fingers together, and nudges one of his frontline pieces forward across the board.
Then it's Ezran's turn, and he knows there's no point in delaying the inevitable, as he picks which piece to move forward.
The chessboard itself Ezran of the war maps he's been looking at lately, moving troops and people—sending his brother and their best friend off to dangerous locations, because they don't have a choice if they want to stop Aaravos and his corrupted Sun army. Ezran, as king, having to treat those he loves most like pawns.
"Your brother wouldn't sacrifice you for anything," Aaravos croons, once they're halfway through. Ezran's temple pounds, his figure of Aunt Amaya having already felled. His piece of Prince Karim is backed into a corner with nowhere to go; Aaravos has lost only small figures on his end—Opeli, Corvus, Barius—pieces he was never that interested in controlling in the first place. "How sad you can't say the same."
"Shut up!" Ezran snaps, because how dare anyone insinuate he doesn't love his brother? Because he does—no matter what, Ezran loves his brother—but he just doesn't love the way Callum does. His brother never does anything halfway; not magic or his fiery temper or his fiercely protective nature. He loves like an explosion, a super nova, a tidal wave.
Ezran has never loved like that. It's not in his nature. It's what makes him a good (miserable) king.
Ezran slams a piece down, not really looking, but knows in an instant he's made a mistake, because Aaravos grins, wide and sharp, like a cat about to eat a canary.
"Hm, not your best, little king," he says, and bumps a glossy monster-pawn up to where Callum lies. "Checkmate."
Ezran wakes up, clammy and hoarse, his throat tight and heart racing. Bait grunts from somewhere near his hip, the glow toad still asleep, and Ezran is careful not to touch him lest he wake him, and stares at the ceiling of his war tent instead.
He exhales, slowly, and gets out of bed to wash his face.
Tomorrow, he will be thirteen years old. He will give speeches at the crack of dawn and command troops and he and his brother, who's acting as one of his generals, will try and muddle through a conversation without arguing.
Ezran scrubs at his eyes and can't quite fight back the tears. But for tonight, in the privacy of the dark, he can be a little boy who's tired of losing.
He's so tired of losing.
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lucabyte · 2 months
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mediocre-noodle · 1 year
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alright i know we’re all reeling over killing ranboo but do you realize how much worse it would be if we voted to let them live?
i felt awful enough listening to them screaming and begging to die, can you imagine how it would’ve felt if we made them go on
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sysig · 4 months
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Contain yourself Captain (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Captain Sterling#NEJ#KUP#Quickly! Before the end of 2023 notices! (The year has been over for two and a half months now lol)#So yeah I found some mid-'23 doodles that I realized didn't make it into the yearly roundup either! So here they are now!#Silly lads#Mostly just speculating about Sterling and my VUX lads' chemistry lol - they have a little bit of chemistry with each other as well#Mostly as friends tho mostly as friends - NEJ is not particularly inclined to be around other similarly sentient species lol#He taps out at plants plants are good for him#He is fascinated by plants communicating with the chemicals they release tho - don't let him near a Supox I don't know what will happen yet#ANYway this is supposed to be about him and Sterling! And KUP and Sterling!#Yeah NEJ doesn't feel particularly strongly about this Captain lol - he's just Some Guy who occasionally brings by plants but also talks#Take the good with the bad and all that lol#KUP is the type that's fun and easy to wind up so Sterling does lol - Captains are silly nuisances this is known#But is it just play or is it something more?? Captain Sterling are you picking on him because you don't know how to express yourself#He /is/ young#I am still labouring under the impression that VUX are generally taller than humans I just think it's Fun#If he's going to be this hom around KUP what the hell is he gonna be like around ZEX#I just think an openly flirty Captain in return would be fun! Space Faring Romancing!#Guess he'll find out once he gets there lol
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it occurred to me to Juxtapose the current lackadaisy triumvirate w/the former, now especially mysterious one: namely [rocky ivy freckle] vs [atlas mitzi mordecai]
you have mitzi and ivy where this is sort of an alternate, glamorous, welcoming and potentially promising world. ivy saying everyone treated her like royalty, mitzi's focus on atlas individually and the surprise of his interest & treatment.
then there's freckle and mordecai at least somewhat spontaneously drawn into "but he's just so good at it!"-based professionally shooting and killing you. perhaps also being obliged to someone as further motivation, whether they helped you finish school or not be killed today.
atlas is too mysterious & undialogued to cite any examples while considering Parallels, but you can wonder about rocky kind of being at the helm of the trio / drawing the others in, and trying to get to compose the result you want even if you're improvising your way there, but the proximity of disaster anyways
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lover-of-mine · 2 months
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i've been thinking, i want a jealous eddie arc. but i want him to be jealous about how easy it seems for buck to accept he's queer. like, he sees buck realize it and immediately start dating a guy, while eddie's been aware and struggling for years. i think this one would be delicious
I mean, yeah, that would be a nice way to not fully attach Eddie's queer journey to Buck, if they are planning on making him generally attracted to men, not go the demi route, because the demi route you attach him to Buck in a way could be him questioning if if he had said something to Buck, they could've been together now, (again I think you have to have Buck state his interest first and his queerness outside of Eddie or else you can absolutely give the impression that Buck is going along with Eddie so he won't loose him so I never loved the idea of Eddie saying something first anyway) but if we go the pan/bi/unlabeled I like men too and don't talk about it (I don't like the strictly gay route because the show does stablish that Eddie loved Shannon and that the sex worked, and I think they're are better ways to deal with him being less intense when it comes to sex with random women (my Kingdom for demi Eddie)), Buck being that open and eager about it can absolutely be something he kinda envies. Because Buck is loud about this part of himself, he has no shame when it comes to sex, and Eddie on the other hand, I don't wanna say shame but the catholic guilt of it all, the fact that he got his first gf pregnant then married her, the way that we know he slept we Shannon, we have one throwaway comment that implies he slept with Ana, no clear indication with Marisol, you can totally add a layer of I wish I knew how to be that open about this. Could be very interesting to watch for real.
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nonokoko13 · 5 months
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#spy x family#sxf#yor forger#thorn princess#tumblr polls#okay in case you didn't know: Yor has references to sleeping beauty#first ref is her code name. Thorn ironically being what put the princess to sleep while it's what Yor uses to put others “to sleep”#Technically her weapons aren't thorns but they could seen as one with her being “the rose” and her stilettos the “thorns” she uses 2defend#herself. Also the rose being her signature flower shown both in her headwear her pin and her assassin clothing#The less obvious fact is her maiden surname#Briar is the name in Little Briar Rose. The ENG title translation in the german version of this tale#Another fun fact considering Ostania is based on Germany so obviously none of these were coincidences#At first I thought the rose could be one of the emblems of the organization as a whole or in general#but after seeing the shopkeeper the only resemblance I could find between his design and Yor's is that both wear those daggers accessories#Yor wearing them in plain sight as earrings while the shopkeeper has them hanging from the ends where he ties his apron behind his neck#so maybe those are the emblems much like that symbol with an eye is to WISE#Of course given how the organisation is called Garden I suppose one of the main themes are plants/flowers/nature#Which has me wondering if other characters may have tale inspo as well or Yor is one the few/only who has references to a tale#it could be something that appears frequently perhaps? Just like many spies have code names related to the different times of day 🤔#anyway this is just a chance to bring the topic and see if others are cooking theories. Feel free to shout your speculations here#sxf manga spoilers#just in case#god now I want to make a sona just to shove on them all my interest about flowers and tales#MY BAD the shopkeeper has the stilettos (?) hanging at the ends of the strings to keep his hat in place ☠️
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chibishortdeath · 5 months
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It smudged a LOT, but I doodled a little pose study based on the old painting “Dante and Virgil in Hell” and I think it came out pretty cool :3
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quibbs126 · 1 year
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I just have this idea in my head where in the animated series (presumably as part of the “Dark Choco goes to the Cookie Kingdom and shenanigans ensue” plot idea I had), it’s a relatively light hearted episode, and someone just asks Dark Choco “hey so, how exactly did you lose your eye?”. Dark Choco’s eye widens and we go into it and see an intense flashback to him fighting to the death against his father, and Dark Cacao striking the blow that takes his left eye (though we don’t directly see it as we’re seeing Dark Choco from behind), with Dark Choco probably letting out a scream of pain, all within a couple seconds, then we flash back out into reality and he just goes “…duel.”. And then we carry on as if it never happened. They’re just like “Huh. Okay. Anyways”
Like just for a few seconds, the tone goes from fun and lighthearted to dark and horrible and then it just doesn’t get brought up again, at least for the rest of the episode
I just think it would be funny
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orcelito · 8 months
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Sentido is good writing except that vw cannot communicate like that. That's my true problem with it. It's too HEALTHY they wouldn't TALK LIKE THAT. But also I enjoy that scene so I wouldn't wanna just Delete it...
I'm fated to keep going back and forth on whether I'm okay with Sentido or if its very presence in my life will drive me insane immensely. Most days I lean more towards the 2nd hfkshfkdb
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daisydisciple · 5 months
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You don't have to know everything. You don't have to know something unless you have to do something about it. And then you only have to know what to do. btw
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Things I look for in history books:
🟩 Green flags - probably solid 🟩
Has the book been published recently? Old books can still be useful, but it's good to have more current scholarship when you can.
The author is either a historian (usually a professor somewhere), or in a closely related field. Or if not, they clearly state that they are not a historian, and encourage you to check out more scholarly sources as well.
The author cites their sources often. Not just in the bibliography, I mean footnotes/endnotes at least a few times per page, so you can tell where specific ideas came from. (Introductions and conclusions don't need so many citations.)
They include both ancient and recent sources.
They talk about archaeology, coins and other physical items, not just book sources.
They talk about the gaps in our knowledge, and where historians disagree.
They talk about how historians' views have evolved over time. Including biases like sexism, Eurocentrism, biased source materials, and how each generation's current events influenced their views of history.
The author clearly distinguishes between what's in the historical record, versus what the author thinks or speculates. You should be able to tell what's evidence, and what's just their opinion.
(I personally like authors who are opinionated, and self-aware enough to acknowledge when they're being biased, more than those who try to be perfectly objective. The book is usually more fun that way. But that's just my personal taste.)
Extra special green flag if the author talks about scholars who disagree with their perspective and shows the reader where they can read those other viewpoints.
There's a "further reading" section where they recommend books and articles to learn more.
🟨 Yellow flags - be cautious, and check the book against more reliable ones 🟨
No citations or references, or references only listed at the end of a chapter or book.
The author is not a historian, classicist or in a related field, and does not make this clear in the text.
When you look up the book, you don't find any other historians recommending or citing it, and it's not because the book is very new.
Ancient sources like Suetonius are taken at face value, without considering those sources' bias or historical context.
You spot errors the author or editor really should've caught.
🟥 Red flags - beware of propaganda or bullshit 🟥
The author has a politically charged career (e.g. controversial radio host, politician or activist) and historical figures in the book seem to fit the same political paradigm the author uses for current events.
Most historians think the book is crap.
Historical figures portrayed as entirely heroic or villainous.
Historical peoples are portrayed as generally stupid, dirty, or uncaring.
The author romanticizes history or argues there has been a "cultural decline" since then. Author may seem weirdly angry or bitter about modern culture considering that this is supposed to be a history book.
The author treats "moral decline" or "degeneracy" as actual cultural forces that shape history. These and the previous point are often reactionary dogwhistles.
The author attributes complex problems to a single bad group of people. This, too, is often a cover for conspiracy theories, xenophobia, antisemitism, or other reactionary thinking. It can happen with both left-wing and right-wing authors. Real history is the product of many interacting forces, even random chance.
The author attempts to justify awful things like genocide, imperialism, slavery, or rape. Explaining why they happened is fine, but trying to present them as good or "not that bad" is a problem.
Stereotypes for an entire nation or culture's personality and values. While some generalizations may be unavoidable when you have limited space to explain something, groups of people should not be treated as monoliths.
The author seems to project modern politics onto much earlier eras. Sometimes, mentioning a few similarities can help illustrate a point, but the author should also point out the limits of those parallels. Assigning historical figures to modern political ideologies is usually misleading, and at worst, it can be outright propaganda.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. "Big theory" books like Guns, Germs and Steel often resort to cherry-picking and making errors because it's incredibly hard for one author to understand all the relevant evidence. Others, like 1421, may attempt to overturn the historical consensus but end up misusing some very sparse or ambiguous data. Look up historians' reviews to see if there's anything in books like this, or if they've been discredited.
There are severe factual errors like Roman emperors being placed out of order, Cleopatra building the pyramids, or an army winning a battle it actually lost.
When in doubt, my favorite trick is to try to read two books on the same subject, by two authors with different views. By comparing where they agree and disagree, you can more easily overcome their biases, and get a fuller picture.
(Disclaimer - I'm not a historian or literary analyst; these are just my personal rules of thumb. But I figured they might be handy for others trying to evaluate books. Feel free to add points you think I missed or got wrong.)
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leilanihours · 1 month
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# IMGONNAGETYOUBACK
pairing: paige bueckers x ex-gf/iowa!reader
word count: 4880
warnings: suggestive content, arguing
summary: your "rivalry" with a certain uconn blonde has its speculation, but no one knows what happened behind the scenes.
⭑ from lani: why is every single thing ive posted based off of a song..anyways..hope yall enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it
AS YOU SLIP into your black jersey, adrenaline courses through your veins. you and your teammates have successfully carried iowa to the final four of march madness. you've all come this far and refuse to break the streak.
but similar to your previous game against lsu, there's a lot of speculation surrounding the tension on the court with uconn. people are going crazy over the paige bueckers and caitlin clark face-off, but they’re going even crazier over your own heated interactions with the blonde.
the internet has decided to constantly pit you two against each other after observing your intense taunting and confrontations in previous years. they believe that it’s merely competitive tendencies but they have no idea where it all actually stems from.
you haven’t always been a hawkeye. for your first two years of college, you were a husky through and through. the public knows this, of course, which adds to the stigma around your name. but after a season-ending injury, you decided you needed a change of pace and environment. it was nothing personal against your teammates, coach, or school in general, you just felt like uconn wasn't where you were supposed to be.
so after you were in the transfer portal, everyone went ballistic. there was a plethora of reactions - some encouraging and supportive, others targeted and calling you a "traitor."
that's what the public is aware of. but they have yet to discover the deeper scars.
"you gonna lock in, y/n?" one of your teammates asks from behind you. turning around, you are met with caitlin, the other hawkeye under extremely close observation tonight.
"i gotchu," you smirk, "what about you? you gonna carry the team again?”
"you already know," she says, mirroring your expression. the two of you have gotten very close over the past couple years, which honestly makes the whole paige situation worse as people make comments like "caitlin and y/n versus paige is crazy" or "ready for this 2v1 game tonight!” they piss all three of you off but really just add to the hype and buildup of the game.
soon enough, your coach is ushering all the girls out of the locker room and onto the court. screams and cheers fill your ears as the crowd observes your entrance. and damn, if your ego wasn't high before, it definitely was now.
the two sides of the arena were filled, one side a sea of navy and white, the other a myriad of gold and black. music blasts from the speakers and makes the walls shake with energy. as you make your way over to the bench, you raise your arms repeatedly to get the crowd going. gaining an immediate reaction, you smile big and put your hand to your ear to play into the praise.
your teammates shake their heads at your antics. they know how competitive you can get. you tend to interact with the crowd and cameras a lot, but no one (especially fans at home) complains.
the crowd before you quiets down for a split second as you focus back onto what your coaches are saying in the huddle. suddenly you hear echoes of booing and other taunts as everyone turns around to see the uconn girls run out excitedly. the last one to come out is none other than paige bueckers, blonde hair in her signature braids and ponytail immediately catching your eye.
part of the reason people always compare you to her is because of how similar you are. your game style, skill set, and energy has always resembled the husky's, but you never understood it until she does the exact same hand motions you did but to the uconn supporters.
as she turns away from the crowd, her eyes dart around to find yours, doing so in a matter of seconds. her icy blue eyes sending a chill down your spine and she hold intense contact. fuck. she knows exactly what she's doing. 
you can tell from the few seconds your eyes are glued to hers that she still wants you. you just know. there's too much emotion behind the stare, saying everything that needs to be said and more.
coach bluder gives the run-down on defensive assignments quickly and explains some of the plays. somehow, by some force of nature, you're stuck guarding the one person you were conflicted with: number 5, paige bueckers.
your teammates all turn to you as soon as the words leave your coach's mouth. they are well aware of your special history with the blonde as well as your complicated relationship now.
"you got that, y/n?" caitlin asks you.
"yeah," you shrug, "you don't have to worry about me. i'm good." and you meant it. you were sick of being compared to paige all the time and were ready to show people who's better.
did you still care for the girl? of course; you always have and always will. but will you let that get in the way of your winning streak? hell no.
the referee beckons each team to the center of the court for the tip-off. hannah sets herself up for the jump ball, standing across from aaliyah edwards on uconn's side. 
you confidently walk over to where paige is standing. your eyes meet hers once again as you wordlessly dap her up, offering a civil front. you already know you'll being seeing the clip on your feed a lot tomorrow morning.
despite the cordial interaction, your mind is running wild at the feel of paige's long fingers brushing against yours. you missed her like crazy, but were also upset with her for multiple different reasons. right now you were enemies, opponents, rivals. but in a few hours after the game? well you would have to wait and see.
the ref throws the ball in the air and aaliyah manages to get her fingers on the ball first to swat in her teammates' directions. uconn almost immediately turns it over due to paige missing kk's pass as the ball goes out of bounds. it's just too easy.
------
the buzzer sounds loudly, signaling the end of the second quarter and halftime. you and your teammates jog to the locker room, sweaty and out of breath. the score was currently 32-26 with uconn in the lead.
you had to admit, that definitely wasn't your team's best first half but you were ready to come back twice as hard.
"c'mon guys," lisa yells, "we gotta seriously up our game right now and fight against their defense. keep giving them as many fouls as possible.
"caitlin, we're gonna try to give you more threes, so everyone else, if caitlin has the ball set those screens, got it?"
you all nod wordlessly as you pay attention to her words. your coach turns to you, looking you directly in the eye, her stare deadly.
"y/n, you gotta push bueckers more, don't direct all your focus on getting cait the ball. really use that energy that i know you have."
"yeah i hear you," you pant as you wipe your forehead with a towel. 
one of the coaching assistants hands you a waterbottle, so you immediately squeeze the ice cold water into your mouth without putting the nozzle on your lips. it's a habit that you have whenever you're in a rush or busy thinking about something.
"and one more thing, y/n," you hear your coach call you before you make your way back on the court, "please, for the love of god, leave your emotions out of it tonight."
the words shoot a prick in your chest, not expecting such a direct statement. nonetheless, you nod firmly, agreeing with her as you jog to where your team is lingering.
you may or may not have had a few...touchy altercations with a certain number 5.
like in the middle of the first quarter...
------
"bueckers with the lay-up, does she get it? no! it is rebounded by l/n!"
your hands grasp the ball tightly under the net but before you can make your way over to the opposite side of the court, another set of hands on the ball stops you.
you look up to see paige also grabbing the ball as it sits in your hands, starting to fight to get it in her possession. with the two of you pulling back and forth, the refs whistle blows to put an end to the quarrel.
however, you two continue to push until one of your teammates wraps their arms around you to pull you off. walking away, you laugh, energized by the interaction. you put your hands up in surrender as kate releases you from her grip.
you turn your head back around to see that paige has also been forcefully pulled away by one of her own teammates with a similar expression on her face, clearly as equally as fired up as you.
------
and the middle of the second quarter...
------
"THREEEEEEE! Y/N L/N!"
you flex your arms and let out a proud yell. it's your 4th score of the night and you feel amazing. your teammates clamor over to you, patting you on your back and bumping you with their chests.
paige failed to block your attempt, putting her arms up and jumping but not being able to reach the ball before it falls in the net.
seeing her tough front falter for a second, you point a finger to her just to spice up the game a little more and get the crowd really going. she shakes her head and chuckles darkly, waving you off with a hand.
"did you see that? bueckers and l/n back at it again with their supposed rivalry, what a dynamic duo, am i right?"
------
time flies rapidly as the clock runs down. it's the last quarter of the game and tensions are at an all time high. with less than 10 seconds left, iowa has the lead 71-69. it's way too close for comfort.
everyone's on edge. the announcers narrating the game for folks at home, coaches, benched teammates, the audience on either side of the court.
when uconn forces a turnover, you stand out of bounds waiting to pass the ball in. 1.1 on the clock. paige stands with her back to you. no one could've predicted your next move. 
you take advantage of her guard let down and quickly bounce the ball off of her, chopping the time in half as she fails to catch it in time and lets it out of bounds once again.
you feel a second of remorse once you catch the defeated look on her face. but you couldn't let the game slip out of your hands that easily. not without a fight.
less than one second on the clock, there's no way for uconn to win. caitlin passes the ball to gabbie who simply throws it high in the air to run down the clock.
the buzzer sounds as you and your teammates run into a group hug, screaming and cheering. you have a small celebration before going to the handshake line. as you pass and commend the uconn coaches and players, you allow your fingers to linger on paige's for a second longer than others.
when she meets your eyes there’s a look of hurt apparent in them, yours filled with guilt. you know how important that game was to her, to her entire collegiate career. but this game was also important to you, she had to know that.
------
your teammates insisted on celebrating at a nearby bar and restaurant, feeling high off the recent victory.
you were obviously down to go with them, but decided to take a little extra time in the locker room showers just to get some peace and quiet to yourself. you tell the girls that you'll catch up in your own car.
so now you're changing into a fresh set of clothes in a dim, empty locker room. some people might find the setting eerie but you enjoy the stillness of it all, especially after the day you've had. 
you’re wearing a basic white crop top and a muted purple skirt, a thick black leather jacket draped over your shoulders to protect yourself from the cold evening air. as you grab your backpack and make your way out to the gym’s parking lot, you spot a familiar figure wandering around aimlessly.
of fucking course i'm left here with her, you think.
you let out an irritated sigh as you continue to rub a small towel against your head to dry your hair.
the sound of your shoes against the pavement catches paige's attention and causes her to turn around. when she observes your relaxed, freshly showered figure, her chest tightens. whether it's from hatred or attraction, she doesn't know.
"hey," she yells to you, stalking over.
you look up to her direction and laugh, "you look like a lost puppy, bueckers."
"damn," she says, "first you decide to beat me and now you're insulting me and calling me by my last name? way to kick me when i'm down, y/n.”
you try not to display how flustered you feel when she says your name like that, “i didn't decide to beat you, i just did. deal with it."
"attitude much? i'm just tryna be civil, ma, no need for the hostility."
that fucking nickname.
"did you need something from me? i'm just tryna meet up with the team so spit it out."
"you heading to the bar?"
"yes," you say skeptically, "how the hell do you know that?"
"i'm heading there too, dumbass," she replies.
"what the hell are you talking about?"
"your team invited mine to hangout," of course they did, "is that a problem?"
"might be," you respond shortly, "so why are you here if the rest of your team is at the bar?"
"i could ask you the same question, l/n," she mocks the way you say her last name.
"i asked you first."
"eager to hear me talk i see." before you can reject the idea she interrupts you, “it’s okay, i know how much you love my voice."
she's not wrong, of course, but you would never admit it to her face. you ignore the question with a roll of your eyes.
"i took a longer shower than everyone else,” you shrug, “told 'em i'll just meet them there. your turn."
she laughs nervously before answering, “uh, i was supposed to get a ride from azzi but i guess she forgot," she says as she looks around the empty parking lot. now it's your turn to tease her.
"that's crazy," you laugh and shake your head, "your own friends don't even wanna be around you."
"man, shut up," she scoffs.
there's a beat of silence before you begin to walk to your car, getting the hint that the conversation was over.
you hear paige groan behind you before asking, "yo..do you think you could give me a ride?"
the nerve.
"excuse me?" you say incredulously as you unlock your car door and slip into the driver's seat. the blonde jogs up to your car, resting an arm on the frame of your door. you become hyper aware of how close you are, and how good she looks.
for the first time since you started talking to her, you take in her appearance. she's wearing a light blue cropped tank top, almost like a sports bra, and dark gray distressed jeans. there's a white uconn hoodie in her hands.
the amount of skin exposed makes your body heat up. the way her arms are flexed against your car makes you think back to the many times they've been flexed underneath your weight.
“can i. get. a ride.” she staggers out, like it’s painful to ask you for a favor. you take advantage of her position immediately.
“i dunno, can you?” you smirk.
“i fucking hate you, do you know that?”
“i dunno, do i?”
“dude.”
you throw your head forward in a laugh, shoulders shaking at her irritation.
“you’re so easy to piss off, i love it.”
“yeah well there’s a lot of other things about me that i know you love but we don’t have to talk about that.”
“do you want a ride or not?” you deadpan, “’cause if you’re gonna act like this all night i don’t want you at the bar, bro.”
“‘bro’? that’s what we’ve come to? that’s even worse than just bueckers, y/n.”
“just shut up and get in the car.”
“yes ma’am,” she says with a mock salute as she closes your door and jogs around the front of the car to the passenger seat.
as you turn on the engine, paige settles into the spot next to you and immediately reaches for the aux cord .
“um,” you pause, “what are you doing?”
“blessing you with my awesome music taste? what do you think i’m doing?”
“absolutely not,” you say, “my car, my rules.”
“um, no. the ‘rule’ is that the passenger chooses the playlist while the driver sets up the queue. we’ve been over this.”
“okay but,” you start carefully, “that was when we were together.”
silence.
“so do you want the ‘late night drives’ playlist or the ‘oldies but goodies’ playlist?”
“what?”
“you heard me.”
she brushes over your comment painfully fast. you had no idea why. you refuse to leave it at that.
“can you just put on our playlist?”
more silence. you gotta be kidding me.
“i don’t-“
“don’t even try, paige, i know you still have it.”
“but-“
“don’t fight me on this. all i want is to celebrate with my team and get a drink so can you please hurry up so we can go?”
“shit,” you hear her say under her breath, “yeah.” she pushes her hips forward as she gets comfortable in the seat.
your eyebrows furrow at the reaction. this girl is so fucking complicated. you weren’t sure if you wanted to curse her out or take her right there.
———
“y/n!! you made it!” jada squeals as you walk into the bar, “and…paige? wait. are you two back together??”
“hell no.”
“definitely not.”
you and paige turn to each other.
“oookayy..” jada trails as she pulls you away from the blonde in the direction of where your team was sat.
the girls cheer your name as you take a seat next to caitlin. you can tell they’ve already had at least 2 drinks each.
“hey,” caitlin says with a warm smile, “you got some catching up to do. let’s go get you a drink.”
she ushers you to the bar where you are able to sit and observe the environment. the venue is fairly dark, the ceiling lights dimmed to a warm hue with a few candles on each table. the stools at the bar were a cold metal that gave you goosebumps. all the table booths have dark brown leather couches one side and wooden chairs with intricate designs on the other.
“so,” caitlin starts after she’s ordered you a drink, lord knows what it was, “i saw you and paige walk in together. that mean anything?”
“please,” you scoff, “i’m done with her, cait, like seriously.” she stays silent, waiting for you to continue, “i mean, she’s so annoying and cocky and confusing, it’s exhausting - i hate her.”
“you sure about that?”
“yes.”
“then why do you still put up with her?”
“what do you mean?”
“i mean,” she says as the bartender delivers two of the same drink, one for you and one presumably for caitlin, “just stop talking to her. ignore her.”
you pause to think. “but she’s always the one starting these dumbass petty fights.”
“then don’t answer her?”
“i have to.”
“and why is that?” she eggs you on, sipping on her drink.
“because,” you sigh, “i can’t let her win.”
“or,” caitlin smirks as the two of you get up to head back to your table, “you still like being around her.”
“as if.”
“okay. tell me this then - why do you two still smile at each other like nothing has changed?”
“we almost never see them, cait.”
“no, i know but…i saw the way you looked at her today. and i saw the way you looked at her when we played them in sophomore year. you still like her, y/n.”
you two have returned to your seats with the rest of the team. you find yourself looking for a particular blonde (again) across the room. the uconn girls were sitting at a similar table to the one you were currently at, just on the other side of the bar.
to your relief, caitlin drops the conversation to engage in one with kate about the game. you quietly sip on your drink as you continue to stare at paige. she’s smiling - laughing - with azzi and aaliyah. you missed them. you missed her. you didn’t acknowledge it until now, until caitlin knocked some sense into you. you did enjoy being around her, mainly because it reminded you of how it was before you transferred to iowa. even though your conversations consist of constant jabs and insults, it was better than radio silence.
but you also hated it. you hated how you couldn’t be with her like you used to. you hated how you left. you hated how she treated you when you left. you hated how she acted like nothing happened. that’s why you have to win every time you’re up against her - literally and figuratively.
paige scored 4 three-pointers in a game? you score 5. paige got 6 rebounds? you got 7. paige had 8 assists? you had 9. it wasn’t just for yourself, it was for the media. with how they constantly have a magnifying glass on your life, you can’t jeopardize your career. so you have to be better than her.
your jaw clenches at the thought of the pressure, the expectation. you down the rest of your way too light cocktail and make your way back to the bar for a stronger drink.
“hey,” you say to the bartender, “can i get a sex on the beach, please?” he nods with a polite smile as he walks away to make your order.
“still rockin with those?” you hear an all-too-familiar voice say.
“if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” you mutter, not bothering to turn to her.
she scoffs. what is her problem now? you think.
“you’re so damn predictable,” she laughs, “it’s hilarious.”
“at least i’m reliable,” you retort, “when’s the last time you had any stability in your life?”
“when i was with you,” she says immediately.
that makes you turn your head. you are greeted with paige’s cold eyes and an unreadable expression.
“what are you doing, paige? what are we doing?” you sound exhausted.
“you tell me. i never got a good explanation when you…left.”
“i tried. you wouldn’t let me. didn’t think you wanted to hear from me after our last conversation.”
“don’t pin this on me,” she says pointedly, “you left me.”
“i didn’t have a choice, paige, you have to understand that.”
“but did you have to leave me? you know we could’ve worked it out.”
“could we have?”
she sighs. the conversation has elevated quickly. you didn’t expect her to open up like this now, to bring all of this up now. maybe it was the ambient atmosphere or the influential alcohol, or both. the man behind the bar sets your drink down on a small napkin in front of you, but you decide against going back to your table.
“so…” she says quietly, “have you been seeing anyone? i know how the fans like to twist shit, but is any of it true?”
“wouldn’t you like to know,” you laugh.
“hey, i’m just tryna gauge where you’re at right now. scope out the competition, you know how it is.”
“‘scope out the competition’?”
she shrugs.
“have you been seeing anyone?” “have you heard that i’m seeing anyone?”
god, this girl could not give a simple answer to save her life. but two can play that game.
“maybe i have. maybe i haven’t. and maybe i’ve seen you with a certain husky named azzi?” you have no clue where you got this idea knowing damn well that they’re nothing more than friends.
“and what if i am? you jealous, ma?” they’re nothing more than friends…right?
“hilarious.”
“that’s not a no.”
“no, it’s not..” you mumble under your breath, turning away from her to avoid her burning stare.
“good.” what the hell is this girl getting at? her avoidant yet suggestive responses set something off in you. “you never answered my question.”
“i am with someone,” you lie through your teeth, wanting to get a reaction out of her.
her breath hitches, “who?” her tone is targeted with a hint of…anger?
“why do you care? you’re with azzi right?”
“i never said that.”
“but you didn’t deny it,” you point out, using her own tactics.
“i am now. i’m not with her. so who are you with?”
“i don’t need to tell you anything.”
“so you’re not with anyone?” she laughs. this girl.
“i am.”
“then tell me.”
“no.”
“fine. be like that,” and suddenly she’s pulling you up from the barstool and into a poorly-lit hallway.
“where are we going?” you demand as you two turn a corner, the only light is the distant hue from the main part of the bar.
“we need to talk about this.”
“talk about what?”
“this,” she motions between the two of you as she pushes you against a wall, one strong arm preventing you from leaving.
“there’s nothing to talk about.”
“i’m not gonna let you keep dodging this, y/n. you left me to go to whole different state with no explanation whatsoever.”
“because you ghosted me first! what was i supposed to do?”
“we were supposed to work it out. remember? when we were teammates on and off the court?”
“you shut me out.”
“because, y/n,” she sighs deeply, “i knew i couldn’t handle it if i had to say goodbye to you. i would’ve-“ she stops herself.
“you would’ve what?”
after about 10 seconds of silence, she whispers, “i would’ve begged you not to go - not to leave me.”
your eyes shoot to hers, but she’s looking down at the floor. her head is almost resting against yours as you observe her adamant yet vulnerable state. you’ve never seen her like this.
from what you’ve seen online, paige seemed to have the time of her life after you transferred. you assumed that she moved on so easily, so quickly. you didn’t consider that it was all just a front.
“paige,”
“what?” she barely gets out, still avoiding your eyes.
“look at me,” she doesn’t, “please.”
her head flies up at that, “what?” she repeats.
you don’t know what to say, you just needed to see her - really see her. her eyes are filled with such clear emotion yet you can’t put your finger on what she was feeling. from her body language you can tell that she misses you. and as you realize you subconsciously put your own hand on her waist, you body is telling you that you miss her too. 
you contemplate your next move for a second, questioning if all of this is worth it. but she’s worth it. in the time you’ve spent apart from her, you grew and matured. you also realize that you need her like you need oxygen. you come to the conclusion that you always have, but it took distance and space to accept it.
not wanting to get too in your head, you smash your lips onto hers as your shoulders instantly relax. you feel paige pause but eventually melt into the kiss, moving her hands up to the nape of your neck. you bring your other hand up to her wrist, resting it there as you relish in the feeling of her lips finally against yours after almost two years. you guide her hand down to your thigh as you move to grasp her shoulders. she glides over your upper thing, riding up your lilac skirt.
she breaks the kiss for a moment, “i’ve always loved you in purple.”
before she can resume the heated kiss, you push against her and observe your surroundings. to your left is the open area you just came from, all your friends oblivious to your activities. all the way down to your right is a door leading out to the back lot and a closer door - presumably a supply closet.
you weigh out your options: do you want to stop the interaction completely, drag her into your car all the way outside, or simply shove her into the closet and have your way with her?
smirking up at her, you pull her into the closet as she laughs at your desperation but follows you nonetheless. 
yes, there were still broken pieces in your relationship. yes, you have always claimed to hate each other. but no, you weren’t leaving without her, even if you had to use handcuffs.
she was never not yours, and you were never not hers.
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