#and her mom wouldn't even they they're her cats bc she doesn't think cats are pets and she just feeds them sometimes

[xerith-42]

Some things we may have forgotten

I've been rewatching MCD and taking extensive notes on it in hopes that I'll never have to watch it again and this is just a list of things that I don't see mentioned or brought up very often/ever that we should talk about and think about more

In the first episode Garroth tries to attack Vylad (angst potential) and Vylad literally just combat locks him by logging out of the game. This is objectively funny and should not be rewritten in any capacity. This should be canon as it is in every universe.

Aphmau's cat Meowki gets randomly killed in Episode 12 by a skeleton while Kiki is right upstairs. Just saying, there's some angst potential there.

In episode 11 Garroth reveals that he knows some medicine. Pretty sure this is never brought up again, but we could always bring it up.

Logan is apparently good with a bow while Zenix is trash at it despite being a self proclaimed "expert archer" which I think is very funny (I know this is part of Zenix's cover but what if we took it seriously it would be so funny)

Zoey is originally from the river village, as is Donna. Pretty sure they retcon that for Zoey, but I like to think the two of them could have been friends before Phoenix Drop.

Garroth actually almost dies in episode 15. Like Dr. Doctor says he will probably die soon at the start of the episode. And he doesn't get healed until episode 20. He literally spends 5 episodes laid up in bed dying.

Brendan's at his side probably angsting the entire time I'm just saying if you want sad gay fanfics, it's sitting right there!

Azura and Garroth were friends as kids??? Hello???? I think this is just a massive plot hole considering what Garroth's actual backstory ends up being asjfgshjdfgjk

Okay but if we twist it a little bit, they were friends as kids as in like at the guard academy??? Bc they're like vaguely teenage/young adult so maybe that's what she means? In which case I wanna think about that more because childhood friends to lovers is one of my favorite romance arcs ever. But is it really childhood friends if you met when you were like... 18?? And you're in your like mid to late twenties probably, I wouldn't really classify that as childhood friends.

WAIT IT GETS WORSE!

I don't... I don't even have a joke here, this is just a massive plot hole. Like all of this is just not true to Garroth's backstory as we know it. Grew up in the same village? You mean O'Khasis?? Where Garroth also FAKED HIS DEATH????

I literally don't know what to say to this I was just trying to find silly little facts to try and incorporate into my rewrite and instead I found a massive gaping plot hole

Moving on, in episode 19 when Aphmau confronts Zenix and they fight, he actually apologizes to her. As if he regrets having to hurt her for the sake of his/the Shadow King's goals.

The Lord of Brightport says the Shadow King "used to be a lord". Which like... Okay, I can bend backwards a few ways to say that he could be referring to how Shad started Falcon Claw, but how the fuck does this dude know that??? I feel like Laurance constantly just stumbling into plot holes by complete accident

Dale is apparently a Garmau shipper, going as far as to ask Aphmau if she plans on hooking up with Garroth. I like to think that he and Molly have a bet going for how long it takes for one of the two of them to finally fess up.

Raven's mom tried to eat him??

Okay then.

[blues-sues]

@xhunterbeatsx

IM SORRY BUT. TUMBLR WOULDN'T LET ME EDIT MY POST SO I GOTTA DO IT THIS WAY

Anyway for Bambi, I decided to pair her with...

Farmer Newt! Who, for simplicity sake, we'll refer to as SB, short for Strawberry!

I really like Bagheera and Figaro, so I plan to keep them, but if hunter wants to keep Sabor and Dinah, they absolutely can!

Onto rambles;

Relationship between parents: I believe that honestly SB and Bambi would be ... An adorable pairing. Lots of playful compliments and I think they'd have very interesting conversations. SB would definitely welcome her with open arms if they ever met, and if any pranks were to be made, she'd find it delightful- so long as it didn't harm any of her crops or stress out her pokemon companions. I think she'd have a very strong affection towards Bambi and definitely asks her to help her with tasks around the farm... Disguising it as her needing assistance but reality is she wants her company.

Relationship with children:

SB; I feel like SB isn't quite sure how to feel about them at first. She probably didn't think it was possible at first, but now that she's seeing them- she absolutely gets emotional. I feel like she's a very gentle parent. Takes everything slowly, and definitely places talking the kids through things at the top of her priorities. She's only ever had a guardian figure via the lab, but she knows now how NOT to parent, because most of the workers sucked, so she vows not to be like them. I believe that Figaro and Dinah are definitely most clingy to both parents and they usually trail after her as she carries out tasks.

Bambi; oh Figaro LOVES her. He will be a nuisance anytime he can just to get her attention and they definitely set up pranks together. Sabor is a bit more hard to get close to, but I think he definitely finds his mom's mischievous attitude silly but tries to hide any giggles or laughs behind scoffs, making him look constantly annoyed. He's just not really sure how to express feelings and tries to be all tough but I'm sure Bambi can definitely see through that and knows when he finds what she's doing funny. Figaro and Sabor however are a chaotic duo, and bc they like Bambi a lot, they definitely are usually around eachother and Sabor is constantly being clung to by Figaro anytime he's around and just overall being harassed LMAO.

Bagheera is pretty neutral to both his parents. Doesn't have much a favorite. He's pretty quiet but you can see him trailing behind sometimes before he immediately hides... He's just a shy kiddo to literally everyone except maybe Dinah. I think they probably pick golden raspberries out in the fields together even when they're not supposed to be eating them.

Children Info:

Figaro, Male, he/him, jolly nature, somewhat of a clown.

Sabor, male, he/him, sassy nature, quick-tempered.

Bagheera, male, he/him, timid nature, quick to flee.

Dinah, female, she/her, naive nature, scatters things often.

Note: Hunter can make any changes with Dinah and Sabor if they choose to keep them! Also, fun fact; all are named after a fictional feline! Figaro is named after the cat from Pinocchio, Sabor is named after the leopard from Tarzan, Bagheera is named after the panther from The Jungle Book, and Dinah is named after the cat in Alice in Wonderland.

[sungbeam]

hi beam, hope you and cherry are doing well! i bring cat lores and crusty photos bc they're almost 10 years old (crazy to think a samsung captured these)

meet mano! (that's just a word in my language to refer to cats in an affectionate way, the literal translation being puss which i was today years old when i found out LOL). but when you don't (or even when you do have a name for your cat) you call them mano. it's the most affectionate term for a cat the translation doesn't do it justice

she was idk how old when we first met her. she was a stray cat but lived in our street so she would switch homes sometimes but she bonded really quickly with me (bc i gave her food) and then she went ahead to have kids three times! she was around for as long as i lived there (6 years) and she has the biggest piece of my heart out of all the cats.

she was quite moody (if you can't tell from her annoyed face) but she must have trusted us a lot bc she legit broke into our house and hid her babies there one time. wouldn't stop mewing and clawing at the door and when we let her in (we usually let her roam in the veranda during the day) she went behind the little sofa and we found 5 kittens! we were so so surprised and we let her keep them there bc from her prev birth, not a lot survived ;-;

she was a wild one. she often brought me gifts (dead rats, lizards and roaches which are the only 3 animals in the entire world that i hate with all my heart :') sighs) and i often slipped her food behind my mom's back (my mom liked her but she had beef with her bc one time this cat broke our net window to steal raw chicken that she had prepped to cook later LOL) (but ig she liked them enough bc she took most of the cat photos that we still have hehe)

this was the 1st generation (i have absolutely no idea who her mans was she was always at war with the male cats yet gave birth 3 times e2l ig 💀 i'll come back with 2nd gen and 3rd gen soon!

love, yumi (this sounds like a letter goodbye)

YUMI IM SO SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET BACK TO YOU BUT THANK U SM FOR THIS LITTLE LETTER(?) ASK!!

im currently away from cherry rn cuz im home-home, but she was doing alright when i left!! mano is so cute and a gorgeous cat 😭😭 her moody face def reminds me of cherry's HAHAHAH but also why does she still look so pretty when she annoyed...? maybe that's why she was able to have that e2l arc 💀

PLS the little gifts 😭😭 i also do not like dead carcasses but i feel like if it's from a cat and it's her love language, we're always willing to make an exception 😅 that's very sweet tho that she trusted u guys enough <3 she must have felt very safe w being able to hide her young and STEAL RAW CHICKEN AJFNEKFNKDNF tbh i would also have beef with her if i was ur mom LOL but a cat mama's gotta do what a cat mama's gotta do 🤧

wait u must have so much experience w outdoor cats then, im sure you've prob said this before tho ksnfkenfkf cherry is an indoor lady through and through, and i think it'd be so interesting to see her in the wild, but she also has zero survival instincts so 💀💀 CANT WAIT TO HEAR ABT 2ND AND 3RD GEN!!! i loved reading through this little history 😌💖

love, beam !! (i'll do the letter signoff too lmao)

[vampiremeerkat]

Why do you think Pocahontas, Mulan and Moana are official Disney Princesses? My mom says this bc a point of ''diversifying'' the line-up, since only Jasmine and Tiana are actual princesses of color, but you have another vision or argument?

If you want a quick answer to that question, I more or less agree with your mother on this. I think Disney wants to own at least one prominent female figure from every country/of every race to flaunt with, which is fair, since they got way too many German and French characters in their Smash Brothers roster. Like the rest of the world, they probably noticed how seldom their animation department leaves the European border, and they wish to seek out more stories. Of course, with the expectation people will love them for it and open up their wallets some more. I said it before: Don't think even once these companies are your friend. The Disney Princess line-up has plenty of rules, but some characters are given special treatment for reasons I'm not wholly certain of. Most of the "princesses" featured aren't even princesses. Their story ended with them becoming queen, so the brand was a lie from the start. In any case, just being a princess isn't enough. These are basically the requirements:

Be 100% Disney. Characters from Disney-owned studios are not allowed.

Be female.

Be human.

Be attractive (though honestly, Disney has rarely to never bothered to design an unattractive main character).

Wear/Have worn a dress.

Be a main character.

Be a hero character.

Have any kind of status that deems you an authority figure.

Come from a mostly successful (theatrical) movie.

Eilonwy, Nala, Kiara, Kida, Raya, maid Marian, and even Meg who's in a relationship with a literal god match most of the criteria, but Disney probably has access to tons of documents with pretty numbers on them that help them determine when a character is "worth it". It may be the case that certain princesses rake in so much cash, Disney is able to take a risk with less popular ones who'll definitely lose them money, but earn them brownie points, which the company lives for in today's age. For example, Belle and Ariel are so loved, their toy sales might be high enough to fund the production costs of two or three lower ranked ladies, like Snow White and Tiana. Snow White is a classic oldie who started off the brand, Disney can't throw her out without everyone who never cared about her going ape shit anyway, and The Princess and the Frog was marketed (perhaps only by spectators, not Disney) to be for African American girls as "finally having a princess to relate to". Because a raging workaholic frog is super relatable to children. Anyway, what I'm saying is that Tiana was put on a political pedestal, and when that happens to a character, creators become afraid to touch them. Kida from Atlantis, on the other hand, wasn't marketed as any kind of trendsetter, and so, Disney is allowed to forget her. I understand Kida doesn't represent a real race, but that never stopped people from projecting their face on a fictional character before. If Amethyst from Steven Universe is "black", why will no one call Kida "the first black princess"? Concerning Pocahontas and Moana, they're Disney's only Native American and Polynesian (?) character. They wouldn't dare to let go of them, regardless if their movie is popular, because the backlash of not letting them join will be greater. And really, it's the same case with Merida, because she strongly represents a culture Disney never bothered with before. With seriousness. Then there's Raya, who I think wasn't welcomed in because of the same reasons Kida wasn't. The movie didn't sell well enough and you can't pinpoint one definable race to her. Why settle with Raya, if we have the infinitely more liked Mulan -who has a clear Chinese origin? Announcing a character to be Asian is not enough; you're not truly exploring a culture if you mix it up with 4 other cultures. Jasmine is the only exception in this category, because she's a classic oldie that helped start off the brand. Assumedly. Some movies come with a message, intentional or not, and this kind of thing causes a born and raised princess from one unpopular movie to get snubbed, and a frog from another unpopular movie to get VIP entrance. Also note that I grade popularity not in terms of box office sales, but how much viewers liked the product. It helped that The Princess and the Frog enjoyed pre-release attention, but it didn't necessarily make people like the story more than that of Atlantis. It's great when you earn back your budget, but how will you sell merchandise if everyone thinks your movie is average? It'd be a waste of money. Many movie studios are that dumb, though. But be happy, at least the abandoned princesses were spared from that unfunny Wreck-It Ralph 2 scene.

[animation-is-my-jam]

Doctor two brain ships? Like all of themn? Or another question, which characters you DONT like shipping with ? you chose

Even though the rat man does give me fatigue sometimes, I still think he's great and his dynamics with other characters makes him really fun. For his ships, or if you're asking what ships I like with DTB--then yeah I can say.

-Like I said before on my top Otps, I'm very fond of him and Professor Robert Tubing. Tubing in general deserved more and I have a lot of headcanons/character writing for him, during that process I played with the little idea of him and Steven being ex-friends or colleagues. And with that very little interact DTB and Tubing had in "Cat and mouse game" I was like... but what if. So then I proceeded to go insane coming up with these ideas about Tubing and Two Brains having this wild ass dynamic and of course boats of angst. If Tubing was used more he literally would have been DTB's foil and I'm a sucker for that in shipping. Also yeah I did the ultimate cringe thing and created fan kids of them for an AU. I could go really on how much I love these two and how it sparks me to engage with Two Brains content. Plus giving Tubing what he truly deserves.

As for other DTB ships, I like them and think they're pretty good too. While they're not at the status of top ships for me, I respect them.

-I always appreciated Provoclone and it's kinda grew on me, but a bit hard for me to see Beatrice not as either sapphic or aromatic personally. Still cute!

-Butcher and DTB is really funny. Someone pointed out how they have a really (one is super affectionate and the other doesn't reciprocate or is too hesitant). DTB really likes Butcher but our meat man is all “y'all hear something?” with him, it's great. This one is kinda underrated, like most Butcher ships-- but again not for me personally, but I respect it's uniqueness if this is the dynamic to go for.

-Grilled cheese is good too. The Chuck's mom's not home episode really solidified their potential and wow that truly was one of the gayest. But also sometimes they appear to be at each other's throats too. They got a little animosity but will kiss each other vibe. Again not for me, but dang their name is good

- That's the more notable ones I can think of, I know there's also a boat load of other miscellaneous DTB ships that I'm missing but I think for me they all fall into "this is a neat idea" camp and nothing much else unfortunately. There's also the very rare but also hype idea of Headcanoning DTB as a flirt Aro--which I think is really cool and actually could be true if you want to stick to his characterization in canon.

As for characters (singular characters) I don't like shipping? Idk if that's just in general or something else..but I'll go with the first one bc I like painting targets on my back. (Disclaimer this isn't me saying I don't ship these characters with others bc it's problematic or whatever, it's just preference or HCs).

- Violet. Yeah I know kill me. But there's a good reason. Even though I appreciate like every Violet ship and think they're all cute in their own right... I'm sorry but to me this girl is Aroace. I know as someone who likes to follow canon interactions to justify ships, I should be all over Sciolet, Vibecky, Scoobecklet, but idk they're all cute, but I always imagined that after a certain time Violet would be great avenue to explore her being super affectionate and friendly to the point others might construe as romantic but nope she's just like that :) and that's perfectly fine.

- Same with Rex. To me they're aromatic, and not because he's an unfamiliar with things like emotions and acts almost robotic with his mannerisms with human culture bc he's alien, it's more like Rex does understand and they wouldn't say no to a date or partner, he just doesn't prefer it.

- I mentioned on the DTB ships that Beatrice (LRW) also follows into this category. I love her, she's my perfect blend of fail woman by day and girlboss by night, she deserves no one and nobody deserves her. Or sapphic but still prefers not to be in anything committed.

- Tim and Sally. Sorry but they're inseparable and probably too monogamous to shipped with others, even in a polycule.

- Ms. Power. Yeah I know I technically have a Pla//sma rope fankid, but to be fair I never said they were together. For me it's not a matter of HC with this one, I just don't really vibe with much of Powers ships, like I think girlie just wants to be alone nor do I think she would be a good partner if we're being honest. Like I'm iffy on even giving her a redemption arc since I like her so much as an antagonist. And even with evil partner ships I'm like eh. To me I think the only love she really needs is herself...both in a narcissistic way and to do something about that underlying self esteem she probably has.

[strelles-universe]

*points the mic* Ankh, Ankh, tell them about the Shadows crafters

The world needs to know about the angry arts and craft group

Lmao hi @sparkvoid! Since you prodded this into existence, all of your designs for these crazies are paired with 'em. These are mostly pre-hybrid designs so keep that in mind!

So yeah everyone the Shadow Crafters are easily the most aggressive cats in Shadows (ignoring Quiveringheart who is one anxiety attack from passing out and Sunstone who has convinced her clan she was a kidnapped Thunder kit) for no other reason than chaos truthfully.

The oldest of the crafter are Thistlesight, Sunstone and Crowtalon. Crow and Sun are the same age and were apprenticed at the same time while Thistlesight came in I wanna say 3 moons into their training.

Sunstone

Everyone's Mom - she's warm, cuddling, protective and incredibly supportive. Most cats in her pride think it's a bit weird that she didn't become a Sitter but hey, whatever - at least she's contributing to her clan. She's overdramatic and heavily affectionate - this paired with her boisterous behavior and golden coat have led to a lot of cats assuming she has some form of Thunder blood in her.

Other Notes

She/They - Pansexual

Sunstone is the only girl in her litter of boys (Patchflicker, Hazepaw)

She joined the elders in Exile bc Viperstar straight up suspects her of being a Thunder Spy

Heavily ADHD coded

Though she and Crow were born the same season, she's the oldest

The relationship she has with Crow is ambiguous - just how they like it

Has threatened to run away and become a Thunder multiple times as an apprentice

---

Crowtalon

A Very Serious Man intent on just doing his job to the best of his ability and then moving on with his day. He's very skilled at blending into the background and is careful to watch which way the wind blows. He's even better at adjusting his stance if he doesn't like the scent on the breeze.

Other Notes

He/Him and a Bisexual

His claws grow superfast so he has to shorten them constantly

He and his twin sister Rookclaw get into prank-wars even as warriors

Fairly stoic and low-emotive, 100% inherited his mom's resting face

Cootpaw is not his child but the Shadows don't believe him - not when Coot and Thistlesight are insisting they are

Bonus - The Parents + The Sister

---

Thistlesight

A chaotic mischievous jokester. Being the youngest of the Crafter trio, they had the amusing situation of being 'the cool apprentice' who was friends with fully trained warriors while they were still in the apprentice's den. They can be pretty aggressive at any given moment but typically mean well and don't actually like hurting others. They also have a soft-spot for kits which is how they acquired Cootpaw

Other Notes

They/Them and Aromatic

Is extremely protective of Cootpaw and will Claw You for implying even for a second that they're not their mother

---

Then we have our freshest warriors Marrowfang, Willowthorn and Quiveringheart.These are the 'outcasts' of the pride so to speak with all three of them having some quality or trait that the Shadows disapprove of.

Quiveringheart

An easily frightened boy who'd look more at home in the Wind than in the Shadows. He takes after his father mostly in appearance though Saffronblister wouldn't be happy to hear about that considering his son a complete coward. Quiveringheart became a crafter as he's not fond of blood or violence in any fashion. Becoming an apprentice was the best thing that ever happened to him - he got closer to his denmates Marrowpaw and Willowpaw then received Sunstone as a mentor.

Other Notes

The only survivor of his litter who passed from Fading Kit Syndrome

He is terrified of his father and wishes Saffron loved him more

He's actually pure muscle, he just has a high metabolism

Has severe generalized anxiety from constant bullying

He thinks of Sunstone as his second mom

He loves frog and regularly adopts one to look after in Moonsoul's Pond

Bonus - The Parents + Baby Pic

---

Marrowfang

Kind of a defensive Tough Guy - despite being on team Arts and Crafts, Marrowfang likes to keep his combat skills sharp. Marrowfang - like his best friend - became a crafter to spite the whispers about his heritage (due to being mostly white) and to support Quiveringheart. He tries his hardest to be the best at everything he tries and has a tendency to overwork himself.

Other Notes

He/Him and a Heterosexual (gasp, they do exist)

His split ear is from Willowthorn because they wanted to 'look cool' as apprentices

Despite being a crafter, he will throw paws at the drop of a hat for any reason at all

He still wrestles with Willowthorn at random like an overgrown child

Bonus - The Parents + Baby Pic

---

Willowthorn

Easily the most bloodthirsty of the pack, Willowthorn is - personality-wise - everything the Shadows have come to regret. She loyal - to her friends, she's obedient - to her ex-mentor and she's full of faith for the Souls. She's always been incredibly scrappy and a complete prankster, well known for diving at the innocent tails of the cats around the pride. The day she left the nursery was a sigh of relief for all of the Sitters.

Other Notes

The split ear is from Marrowfang when the two wanted to be cool

The Shadows have no low-branched trees, she still sprints up until she can at least smack one

She's high energy and is caught wiggling on the border during border-watches by Thunder patrols

Marrowfang is her mate as adults and she greets him with a spar at random in the forest

Became a crafter explicitly to protect Quiveringheart

--

And the youngsters, little Cootpaw and Minkpaw. I'll admit these two haven't been developed nearly as much as the adults have been. They've got their origins and their general vibes, but that's kind of it.

---

Minkpaw

Chaotic and Energetic - manages to have obtained the proper average Shadow build being long-legged with wide paws, small ears and a shortened coat. They are currently Sunstone's apprentice and regulary burst into cackles at being apprenticed to the cat seen as a Thunder cat.

Other Notes

---

Cootpaw

Chaotic but in a chill way. Cootpaw is always down to fight back against the powers that chain a cat down albeit, they also appreciate doing so in a way that means that others are doing the hard part. Cootpaw was adopted by Thistlesight from a deceased loner and proceeded to work with her adoptive mother with bullying the entire pride into believing that Thistle was just hiding their pregnancy.

Other Notes

Literally only became a crafter bc she knew it would upset some cats

Is Minkpaw's biggest background supporter

Is the brains behind most of the current apprentice's pranksters

We all agree that poor Leafpaw (Cardinal's daughter) is Doomed by her

[writinglittlebeasts]

summer reading/arting/writing tag

i was tagged by @tabswrites !

Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

as always i will be chipping away at wolf's tooth! i'm going to try to solidify a visual design for working-name 'what wolves can't eat' as well, so i can more readily describe them + their behaviors in the book / wherever else they're going to appear.

Recommend a book.

this is middle grade, but william sleator's among the dolls is one of my favorite books of all time. it's about a girl who gets a thrifted doll house for her birthday (complete with a cast of mismatched little dolls) and, dissatisfied, starts to act out a dark home life for them. except the doll house is magic and the dolls are alive and they Really do not like her lol. the edition i got from my mom (and i think she got it from a library) is illustrated and trina schart hyman's illustrations are absolutely Gorgeous; i've been thinking about them my ENTIRE life

Recommend a fic.

it won't surprise you to know that i've been reading fic while i've been writing fic lmao... maybe also won't surprise you that the only fic i've been reading is for the magicians (i love them </3)... anyway the fic time won't fly is violent and fun + twists the show's plot in a direction i wouldn't have thought i'd find so interesting (bc imo war as a plot is grating in a lot of ways) but did find interesting and cool to read

(if that link and italicization is roving around that last paragraph i have no idea why; my computer is Borked + the tumblr posting interface is really weird and unintuitive these days. like, it may not even be moving, it could just Look like it's moving, To Me, on this computer)

Recommend music.

(sorry for being one of those people who listens to music on youtube lol)

the killing kind by marianas trench is very red cat, which is my unfinished (indefinite hiatus) webcomic about ghosts and royal succession in a gorge (and also everyone is a cat)

world ender by lord huron (a song about sleepless sea-- To Me)

lost on you by lp lives in my head rent-free, and this particular live recording rattles my very bones

this version of in the air tonight from the american psycho musical because i just like it (and so does my dad who has Not like some of the other covers i have sent him of this song lmao)

Share one piece of advice!

don't let your laptop's operating system fall out of date for ANY reason because everything is on apps now, including updates for the os, and you won't be able to open those apps to download those updates. if your computer doesn't indicate an update every couple of years something is wrong with it; look up whether there's been an update anyway.

and i will tag: @sarah-sandwich-writes @kaiarchives @snehithiye @meerawrites @zestymimblo

[lotusrue]

tw transphobia & enbyphobia/vent rant post

my mom would NOT stop yapping to me about how trans people confuse her and how she doesn't like that she can't 'categorize' nonbinary people all because i corrected her - not even rudely - on someone's pronouns who went to my camp and who she doesn't know.

i told her at least fivee fucking times that 1) it's fine as long as she acknowledges & adapts to that correction and 2) someone else's gender isn't really anyone's business and they don't need to be categorized and she STILL WOULDN'T SHUT UPP

can't remember if i've posted this but if not, my mom once compared lgbtq+ people to peanut allergies (they just weren't around when she was younger) 💀💀 she pulled a more analogies out of her ass this time good golly

number ONE we got 'if you go over to a friend's house and they have a pet that you can't tell if it's a cat or a dog wouldn't you be wanting to know what it is?' she would not stop referring to general trans & nb people using 'it' oh my god. and that's such a horrible analogy like actually wtf i can't even answer that coherently bc they're ENTIRELY SEPARATE SITUATIONS

number TWO we got 'if you have guests and you're serving steak to everyone but one person has no teeth do you offer them some anyways? wouldn't they be mad at you?' i have no fucking clue what she was even trying to get at here. what are you offering to men and women that you feel would be rude to offer to nb people. i had to tell her AGAIN that the analogy was way too fucking far out there for me to be able to connect it

atp i was really confused and told her i just don't care how someone identifies and i don't need to know if they're a stranger especially..?? and she said. word for word. 'but wouldn't you care if you were at a restaurant and couldn't tell if they were a girl, a boy, a dog, a cow, a robo kitty?' NO !! I WOULDN'T CARE !!! AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY ALL THATT

god i can't fucking remember half the conversation i wish i'd recorded it but SO many times she'd something crazy transphobic and there would be the most uncomfortable silence bc she'd be waiting for a response and i'd just have to say 'hm' at some point holy shit. i literally said the word transphobic at one point i wasn't even calling her it and she IMMEDIATELY snapped back with "i'm not transphobic. i don't care what anyone thinks, or what anyone calls me, i'm not transphobic." girl.. girl your actions say OTHERWISE !!!! ugh

just wait until she finds out about intersex people she's gonna lose her fucking marbles

[messofmoss]

monday, june 17, 2024

3:45am

woke up and realized i fell asleep before telling julia good morning. so i message her. though a bit sad she's not said anything to me. my mind: "of course she hasn't said anything. she was probably happy you hadn't messaged her so she could have a fucking break from you. she doesn't want to fucking talk to you. just leave her alone."

going to try to pee and go back to sleep.

3:54am

brain: "would anyone notice if you were gone? would they care? would they be happy? you should have just left her alone. she's probably pissed to see your message. she finally thought she escaped you and poof there you fucking are again. why are you even trying still? it's clear she doesn't give a fuck about you. she's just waiting for you to get the hint and leave her alone. just leave her the fuck alone. leave her alone..."

going to try to watch tiktok or something and hope it can help me get back to sleep. brain is loud.

4:01am

"'let me know how your morning goes'? when does she ever do that anymore? she's not going to fucking do that. she's probably rolling her eyes right now. she doesn't think about you when you're gone..."

4:02am

she just replied saying "descansa 😘" a kissy face is better than nothing but she didn't say she would let me know anything so she probably won't. she used to tell me to let her know how my night goes but she doesn't do that anymore either. she probably doesn't want to know now or care to know now about my sad boring fucking life.

and i am teary yet again. "leave her alone, leave her alone, leave her alone..."

4:11am

"are you okay? are you okay? are you okay? are you okay? are you okay?" bouncing around my brain like the dvd screensaver but faster. always hitting close to the corner but never actually in it. dissatisfying. "no no no no no no no"

already this much and i've not woken up for the day yet. can't even just sit here and train of thought my brain. just trying to get the gist of it. i feel like its both helping to write it down and also making me feel embarrassed. my brain likes that i'm writing it down because it's like i'm making the thoughts permanent. etching them into stone where they belong. the truth.

"its not the truth i know its not its not its not but it feels like it is but i know its not. if she didnt care about you at all she wouldn't even answer. she doesn't have to answer you. she wants your attention. only for an ego boost. that's all you're good for. that's why she keeps you around. lilly keeps you around as her therapist. john keeps you around for fuck knows why at this point. the potential of fucking again eventually? bc his daughter loves you? bc he is too lazy to break up with you? your cats would miss you. they need you. koda needs you he needs medicine. mom would just let him die. the medicine is only prolonging his suffering. you're so fucking selfish. i miss emi so fucking much."

gonna stop writing it down now and tiktok til i sleep

8:16pm

home from work and hating myself 🤪

the automatic switch to the seductress character strikes again. i know what to say and how to say it. i can drive him crazy. i was trained so well that i can't stop. the first sign of it and she comes out. i'm watching it happen on a movie screen. she toys with him. the illusion of control. she's in control of him but i'm not in control of her. i scream inside "stop stop stop" but my thumbs aren't mine. they're his right now. he asks me if i am attracted to his body after he sends a nude. she says what she's supposed to say but all i'm thinking is no stop. "do you like my dick?"

as soon as it ends, the walls crumble and cave in on themselves, burying me. i breathe in dirt and dust, and she's just gone. i'm left with the wreckage and disgust.

10:07pm

my mom asked me if i'm still taking my meds. i said yes why? and she said because she can tell i've been struggling lately so she just wanted to make sure. she kept asking if i'm okay like actually okay. i still feel so guarded around her. plus it really is just impossible to actually express emotions in front of someone staring at me. seeing the worry on her face. what am i supposed to say to her? i'm haunted by my exes in general but especially one. there's a war in my mind. everything is confusing. i don't know who i am. i don't even feel like a real person. not a day goes by where i don't think about disappearing. my cats (not her) are the only things tethering me to this world. i'm used over and over as a sex toy and it disgusts me but i can't stop it. my dad has fucked me up and i don't even know the extent of it which scares me but she wouldn't understand that. i have already tried talking to her about that but she says "no you're his daughter though it's different" so different. that's why he told me to try out being a hot wife like his porn? why he would lay on my young teenage body in a darkened room until i woke up? why he told me if he were my age he'd think i'm hot when i was 13? why i still cover my ass around men because i couldn't walk by him without him doing something? why he told me that i could have as many sleepovers as i want as long as we have lots of pillow fights? why he literally got busted for a video that he described as being like what me and my friend did when we were like 12-13? finding out as an adult that he wasn't a normal dad. not all dads are like that. and this isn't even getting into his anger issues.

i'm in a state of constant restlessness that i can't do anything about because i'm also endlessly exhausted. my mood at any given time hinges on what a girl in spain thinks about me.

SPEAKING OF HER

we were talking about donuts earlier while i was at work. then i didn't answer for 13 minutes. and in spanish, she basically says "have i ever told you that i'm often laying like this in bed?" and she sent me a one time view full body picture of her in bed. with shorts on so her thighs were showing and like she has nevereverever sent me anything like that before especially not so randomly???? i drew the pose lol

and her shirt was in a way that her tits looked like beautiful rolling hills. rjfjejdjndhfjdj but like literally never before has she done this. and she was wearing her glasses. she knows i love her in glasses. if she ever sends me a nighttime selfie, it is close up on her face usually just half of her face even or with her face partially covered by her blanket. idk it just felt so unusual. like she was temp checking to see if i still like her. i did NOT compliment her even though i wanted to. so round of applause for me. idk idk idk i gotta stop thinking about it. about her. all of it.

[autumnrory]

i know it is in part how much i hate new years but the last several days have just been like ooh i am so close to snapping and everything makes me so grumpy so easily

like it's hard with the new cat bc she's so tiny like grace like it's very bittersweet and i love her of course and she's very different but it does feel just like her weight and like i didn't really expect mom to find one that tiny. and then our kitten who's not a kitten has been very distressed about the new cat and not eating - he actually got an appetite stimulant today which helped - obviously it's just due to his mood but that ofc reminds me of grace at the very end and trying to get her to eat and how awful it felt when she wouldn't

and then i went to my cousins' over the weekend to give my godson his presents and i adore spending time with the kids, bc they're so fun, but EVERY TIME they're a little rambunctious, especially the second youngest, and i get it with the way my temper is i would not be able to handle that, hence why i do not want kids, bc i don't want to be that mean just bc i'm frustrated and hi yelling doesn't help change their behavior lol if it did they wouldn't act up, but yeah like every time i go over there, there's yelling, and like. idk i am family i guess but even then idt my parents would've yelled at me in front of any sort of company. admittedly, i didn't really misbehave i guess but even my brother who went through a period of time in his teen years where he got into a lot of trouble, i can't imagine anyone would've yelled at him if he had friends over or something. like for all my beefs with my parents, of which there are many, at least they wouldn't do that. and maybe the kids are like, resilient or whatever, but i'm just like. okay don't do that on my account idc if they act up as long as they're not hurting anyone, but maybe it's just like that regularly who can say.

and there are certain things like they often do the "oh you want to take the kids with you" type of joke and i'm just like they could really internalize that and feel like. unwanted you know. idk i guess they're the only people i know with four kids but hey my brother has three kids and tbf one of them is much older than the others but like, he and his wife can be stern if need be without yelling and stuff. and i'm sooo bad at extricating myself from situations, i mean since i only see them a couple times a year, i WANT to spend the time, because it feels right and like i said, i think the kids are fun and goofy and everything but it's hard when their behavior goes a little too far and they get yelled at. plus i do figure it's in part the excitement of seeing someone they don't regularly see so like maybe their daily life is a lot calmer lol

and ofc with all this excess stress thinking about work stuff and dealing with personal stuff etc etc the numbness in my leg has been a lot more constant and it's just like ugh why won't that just go away if there's not an answer other than stress lol like does my body not have enough stress reactions like sometimes it's getting lightheaded or nauseous AND i've been having an itch on my back that i think could be stres related like listen just PICK ONE okay i do not need my body doing multiple things because i'm stressed lol that just makes everything worse

anyway i was so close to having the cry i needed the other day like right there and it was perfect bc it was right before my shower bc i don't need anybody KNOWING i'm crying and then i got distracted so it didn't come through and now i'm still waiting for it

[wherethegravelsthin]

whining about my mother beneath the cut

every few months I get thrown back in a mental hospital and it's been years since I last "quit" self harming, I don't even remember how I started again but I did. And every few days I get into a nasty fight with my parents with yelling and I usually end up self harming just from the sheer emotional overload and the entire time it happens all I'm thinking to myself is "I don't want this, I don't wanna do this, I don't wanna feel like this, I wish someone would just give me a hug" but my mom's response to whenever this happens is to tell me that she can't help me because she's "tried everything" and "has spent years trying everything" and "nothing works and I can't help you" and like I know that that's her way of saying that I need to be able to deal with my problems on my own. But also. It makes me feel like a lost cause.

Every day I wonder who's the real "bad person" in the relationship I have with my mom. Is it me or her? I can barely approach calling my family codependent even though we are, I don't have any friends outside of the family home, my mom sure doesn't have any friends, my dad definitely doesn't have any friends, we are a family of three that only has each other and it's suffocating me.

When I was a child I'd come home from school every day saying I was getting picked on and my mom would tell me I needed to "be like a turtle" and "grow a shell". Which now, at the age of 23 as opposed to 6, I rightfully recognize it as the most bananas-insulting thing you can say to your child who is going to school every day and coming home feeling drained and alone and exhausted. To this day she won't admit she did wrong. If I bring it up she's like "I thought I was doing the right thing at the time" or whatever. It's never an, "I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but it was wrong and I'm sorry". I like never get an apology out of my mom for anything.

I'm 23 years old and I can't lock my bedroom door at night for privacy without my mom knocking on the door and texting me being like "your cat wants to come in the room!!" and she'll get up and go to my door and try to open the locked door and it's like. Does it ever occur to you, mom, that I'm doing 23 year old things? Private 23 year old things that you don't need to fucking interrupt? But I have no privacy and I have no boundaries so, that's fucking that I guess

And I can't move out. I can't move out, because my parents made sure I got on social security, so I get a whopping $600 a month, (which I don't even get btw it goes to my parents), so I'm not allowed to make more than $1000 a month, or else I "won't get the $600 social security money" (read: my parents won't get the $600 social security money), and I've looked up studio apartments in my city and out of my city, more than once, and lemme tell you, even if I was getting that extra 600 bucks a month, it wouldn't be enough to cover living on my own for how much rent is. For a studio apartment. Because then I'd have to think about groceries, and laundry, and transportation -- I don't have a license (I wanted to get it when I was 16 but my parents said no not now and now I really don't want a license bc driving freaks me the fuck out and they're demanding I get one) and there's no public transit route that goes from my home to my job, and. Fuck.

I once wanted to go away for college when I was in college, I wanted to study abroad and go to Ireland, and my mom talked me down from it, saying "well what if something happened, what if one of the pets got sick, what if grandma got sick and you couldn't come home". When covid happened she brought it back up to me, even though Ireland hadn't been on my mind in a couple years at that point, saying "see this is why I didn't want you to study abroad because look at what's happening now". Ugh

The last time I was in this particular mental hospital that I'm at right now (this is my fourth stay) the counselors repeatedly brought up that we may benefit from some family therapy, and I brought this up to my mom when she visited me here and she started crying on the spot and she told me she never wanted this for me, she never wanted me to turn out like her, she wanted something better for me, etc. And family therapy did not happen then, and I doubt it'll happen now, because my mom is not the kind of person who can even stomach the idea that she could be wrong about anything. Especially not if it comes from me.

When JKR first came out as a transphobe I was telling my mother that it was Bad and she wouldn't believe me! She was tossing my words to the side. Thank god my half sister was in the car to tell her "No, she's right, what she's doing is really wrong and bigoted and awful" because she straight up wouldn't listen to me; but she'd believe my half sister telling her the same thing.

I can never tell my mom "let's not do this particular thing right now because I'm getting upset and I don't want to explode", I can never set that boundary, because she pushes it every time. She goes, "well we can't just put it off because then you'll never do it!" and I can try reiterating myself that I'm getting upset and I'm trying not to lose it and she keeps pressing until I explode like a volcano, I have all this lava running underneath me all the time and it just erupts sometimes. And the entire time I'm erupting all I can think about is how I don't wanna be doing this. And my mom has the audacity to say shit to me like "You're still a teenager" when I'm upset. I haven't been a teenager for four years. I'm an adult who has emotional regulation problems, which she doesn't fucking help with.

So I go into these mental hospitals and she tells me to focus on coping skills but honest to god all the coping skills in the world couldn't help me from having an eruption if she doesn't learn how to take "no" for an answer and respect my goddamn motherfucking boundaries for a change.

And I can't move out, and I can't make any more money, and I can't do anything to improve my situation. God. Is it any wonder I feel hopeless and depressed?

[liebelesbe]

we're trying to take care of our grandmas cat situation rn and it's. oof.

[manicpixiedreamenbie]

Vent post//Probably not that interesting

Last night my bf was being such a douche. And he's the kind of person who always gets upset at you when you're upset at them and so he did not apologize and I just cried silently all night and didn't like participate in cuddling. But like neither did he, and that made made even more upset because I'm the one who he was being a dick to all day?

He was in a bad mood overall because he has a cold and we there was more traffic than usual for the parade (but not even a ridiculous amount? We could still get where we wanted to go it just wasn't as instant. He was negative and not really participating in conversation while we drove, everytime I said something he made it about how angry he was. When we got home I got a call that my grandmother had a stroke and I was talking about how my sister was at my moms and she was very upset and he really hates my sister for a lot of reasons but it wasn't supposed to be about her, but he kept turning everything I said about her into something terrible, like "oh those tears are fake, if she goes and visits your grandmother she'll make it all about herself" which I genuinely don't think is true. My grandmother is one of the few people my sister actually cares about. Just because she's terrible doesn't mean he knows her as well as me. He just wouldn't listen to anything I was saying and kept taking about how awful my sister was and I just wanted to talk about my grandmother's situation.

And I said something like, "I feel you are too blinded by your hate for my sister to listen to me talk about my grandmother right now." Then he denied that and got all quiet and distant and wouldn't look at or touch me at all. So I followed suit. Then he picked up the laser pointer to make my cat Wanda stop scratching the couch. Which by my house rules they are allowed because I really don't have anything else for them to scratch on right now and the parts that they've been scratching are destroyed anyway. But it annoys him and he sometimes spends like all night with one arm over the couch to stop her because she likes to prickle her claws into the couch and lay down and look up at us. But he sometimes gets genuinely pissed that she won't stop and he was, and that makes me really mad because I really feel like he doesn't even like my cats sometimes. He picked up the laser pointer because all my cats gather when they hear it jingle and they think they're gonna play but he just wanted to distract her. So I said if you're not gonna play with them give me the thing so I can because if you pick it up you have to. And he said no multiple times and then started shining around, at which point Silky jumped up on the arm of the couch and I thought he shined it directly into her eyes intentionally, because it REALLY looked that way and I'm sill not convinced he didn't, so I got mad and tried to take the thing from him bc no one disrespects my babies 😤 I will start a fucking fight with the person who disturbs their peace and happiness. And so he got mad at me for trying to take it and then decided to sort of chuck it at me. Not very hard but the energy was really negative and aggressive, even if the action wasn't that bad. And that's the part that made me cry. I don't really know why.

It's usually not like this. But it just feels even worse because I feel like I didn't deserve any of it? Like yesterday I went to his house and took care of him while he was sick and I was just sick and I had to basically beg him to just get up off the couch and get my cough medicine? When he can simply ask for a bottle of water in perfect health and I run and grab that shit no problem? Even when I'm sick, or I'm the only one who worked that day, I make dinner, do the dishes from dinner, take out all the trash, clean up the house and the messes he makes.

Also doesn't help that he had just slept with me before he decided to be a dick about my grandmother and the cats and the laser pointer shit. Like it just makes me feel like an object. Like yeah your body is nice and all but fuck these feelings man

[nulltune]

&&. ‎@igniferous is not safe from the besties

i didn't rb a meme and u didn't send me anything but i love and just wanted to fill this out fot them okok <3

texts the other memes at 3 am: hakuno!!!! but very out of context and very likely to be cats. wolf would probably be like "wtf is this". would like to think that infects him a lil bit tho! and the next time he sees a meme he's just -squints eyes- -tentatively sends to the moon menace girl- (wolf vc this is what she calls a "meem" isn't it 🤨)

tries to convince the other to do an idea that definitely sounds questionable: hakuno: "hey wouldn't it be fun if we-" wolf: "no." (she manages to drag him into it anyway)

is the designated driver and who always gets wasted: don't think neither of them would ever be Wasted(TM) but hakuno doesn't enjoy drinking so she'd appoint herself designated driver. i just imagine chilly drunk wolf in the passenger seat telling her some story while hakuno is :| but listening attentively actually. seems fine and dandy except hakuno's not the best driver and with the way she's driving, you'd think they're from gta pulling the biggest bank heist in the world (hakuno: this is a nice podcast -bounces up from speedbump but it unbothered bc she's too short to hit the car roof- -she would've gotten a concussion if she did-) (wolf: SVFKSG ok anyway- it was 428472 years ago when FEKGJSJFKSJFKDKFJ)

always has to host the impromptu sleepover: ok but i'm thinking wolf........ because hakuno would come over and wooooh oh hey it's real hecking late now! she's fine with going back herself (even though she's homeless actually) but hold on wolf's not gonna let her go into the dead of the night like that-- it's dangerous 😤 who’s netflix account gets mooched off of: don't think either would have one but!! i imagine hakuno talking abt it (unable to buy it tho bc she's penniless 😔 /hj) every now and then and wolf ends up getting one some day. he doesn't say it but hakuno sees that there's an account with her name on it already and she's just :0 !!

brings all the snacks and who supplies the movie: hakuno would split the work between em! it's funner that say, she thinks (hakuno: nod nod.) so if she brings the snacks, he supplies the movie, and vice versa. it'd be so funny tho because it'd rlly show the difference between poor simple girl hakuno and rich boy wolf sjghdjg

is usually the first one to say sorry after a fight: 🤔 i don't think they'd ever get into a serious fight but maybe wolf. .. after he says it hakuno's like "...we were fighting?"  Σ(°ロ°)

is the ‘ mom friend ‘: WOLFF ok hear me out!!! i just think he'd be like those seemingly very strict but actually caring mothers okok. also hakuno's good at taking care of others but not herself so, yes. wolf pls look after ur bestie thank uuu

calls the other at 12 am to wish the other a happy birthday without fail: hakuno and she'd be so extra p l s ...... tosses pebbles at his window (if he has one) to get his attention and then starts singing happy birthday with the most flat voice everrrr. bonus: you know that one scene in kungfu panda 2? where po's yelling to shen but he's so far away shen can't hear him? if that happens with them i just know hakuno's chaotic enough to start climbing the damn walls to get to wolf 😭😭 (hakuno vc it's faster-)

is the better wingman to the other: somehow i feel like they both could be a real good wingman for each other :chinhands: it'd make for an interesting scenario tho!! i think it'd be vvv fun to explore >:3

‘ the strong must protect the sweet ‘ , who’s the ‘ strong ‘ and who’s the ‘ sweet ‘: hakuno can kick ass so i think she might just be the strong in that aspect (tho i think wolf is pog at magic!!! iirc!) (...wolf teaching hakuno magic when? 🧐) but she doesn't choose violence okok-- she's the strong that encourages wolf to show more of his sweet side 😌

pulls the other up for karaoke to sing a duet together: wolf with a very big sigh after hakuno's continuous and not so subtle hints for him to sing ("do you want the next song?" "there's no need to be shy" "oh, this song seems like it'd be fun. want to try?") but it comes with the condition that she sings with him !! hakuno chooses drop pop candy and if wolf feels like he might die from embarrassment i would not blame him!

[vancilocs]

Carmina and möth girl bc i know youve got them in your mind and i wanna Know

im full of waffles

her name is naias'semele/semele now

1. Who is the most important person to your OC? Why are they so important?

Her youngest sister, the only one of her family she still talks to, they keep in contact via internet

Her mom, been a huge support through her recent tumultuous times, was instrumental in helping her transition, super supportive and loving

2. Is your character high status in terms of wealth or class?

Nah. She doesn't have to worry but doesn't live lavishly either

No, she's still new in town too

3. What’s a hobby or activity your OC can’t live without?

Needs to paint and go on walks every now and then or she'll go insane

Needs to catch up with friends, grab coffee or something, talk on the phone

4. Do they have an easy time connecting with people? Why or why not

Not really, she's very introverted and awkward, doesn't get sarcasm or jokes and struggles with eye contact, also she had a really rough time during her school years/ended up mostly homeschooled so that didn't make talking to people any easier

Yeah, she enjoys being at the bar and getting to know people, having a bit of a chat when getting them their drink, she has a warm and inviting presence so people like talking with her

5. Do they get along with their family?

Lol no

Yeah, mom especially but she keeps in touch with her dad, stepmom and siblings too

6. Which members of their family formed them the most as a child?

Mom and big sister mainly, catch her messing with sis's makeup and get in trouble

Mom, very close

7. Do they have any special interests or hobbies found weird by most?

People think her profession is a little off-putting in general but also collecting bugs? Weird

Ma'am stop eating fabric

9. Is your character religious? What religion do they practice? How intense is their worship?

She's catholic and worships very casually, mainly by decorating and giving gifts to her cats on Christmas

Not religious, was kinda casually raised to follow her homeland's main religion but nah. Not for her

10. Where are they from? Do they strongly identify of the culture of that area?

She's from Chile, near La Serena. Big fan of the regional wine and food and local music and art

She's from a möth plänet and she does miss the local delicacies and music and the environment in general, much less depressing than the Outer Rim

11. Weird question, but if your OC was given one of those Himalayan salt lamps, how often would they lick it?

She wouldn't

Often

12. How does your OC feel about worms?

Squiggly. They're not bugs but they're invertebrates so they're interesting to her. Knows many a worm fact.

Ew!

13. What’s your OC’s favorite season or holiday? Is their a particular memory tied to it?

Spring and summer, warm, light, nature is beautiful, so many bugs around. She would prop up an easel at a vineyard and paint the landscapes when she was younger

Spring and fall, not too hot, not too cold, nature is magnificent. Rain doesn't feel nice on her antennae though. Also she got married on spring so

14. If your OC could, would they go back in time and change their past actions? What action in particular?

Just don't tell people things they can use against you, don't be so gullible, just plenty of regrets of events where she got hurt or embarrassed

She often thinks if she should just have sold the bar and went back to her husband but honestly, no. She's feeling sexy and free as she is, she always hesitated to go on with the housewife life they had planned

15. Do they regret letting a particular person into their life? Why?

Her eldest sister's husband was a fiend and a bitch and is the reason she doesn't talk to any other family members but her youngest sister

She's parted ways with people before but nothing she really regrets, even if it ended the ride was fun

16. What’s their sexuality? Have they ever doubted it? Was it hard to come to terms with it?

She's a lesbian and a late bloomer, was in her mid-twenties when she came to the conclusion. It wasn't hard, more like a relief to know herself a bit better

She doesn't label her sexuality, heavily leans towards men/masculine presenting people but anything goes tbh

17. Does your OC have pride in their appearance? Or are they self conscious?

It was a long journey but she's fine with her looks, though if someone criticized something about her it would hurt. She knows her nose is big and eyes droopy, she knows her fingers are weird and long and she's too tall and lanky, she's okay with it, don't be a dick

She's happy with how she looks and takes good care of herself to keep her hair voluminous and scales soft and shiny, kinda self-conscious in the way that she always wants to look her best around people she doesn't know that well

19. If your OC played Minecraft, what would they be best at? Building, mining, red stone, anything.

Builds a house on creative, fills the yard with flowers, might take a screenshot to make a painting of the house but doesn't play any more

Tries to play for 20 minutes, gets blown up by a creeper, screams and stops playing

20. Does your OC have a love interest? Who said I love you first?

She's interested in Ivana, nervous if the interest is returned, preparing to be burned but sometimes you gotta try

No love interest right now, she's still separating from her husband. Took Damir to bed a few times because she was lonely and he's a whore.

[sleepstates]

parent venting i guess ?? (tw for medical talk, mentioned death of a grandparent, and abuse - maybe also fatshaming?)

so we moved recently, and krem n i are staying in the new house by ourselves (with our 3 cats and now two of the dogs- and also a gecko) but my mom is VERY insistent that like. this is her house? even though we're paying half the rent (krem is, at least >< i don't have money atm but i'm working on it slowly but surely)

but also my parents... will not do simple things around the house? my mom walked around this weekend and pointed out a few little "chore" things, or talked to me about habits we have that annoy her (like... putting things on shelves? she's on a weird kick about being in a '''minimalist''' lifestyle now but i KNOW she's lying bc i KNOW how cluttered she has ALWAYS been)- but she... wouldn't do anything about it?

and like. they didn't... eat here? the whole time they were out here they only ate out. and only bought NEW snacks/drinks, not using the stuff we already had. which also just doesn't make sense to me? if you're going to fight so hard about this being your house, why aren't you... using it?? they slept here but it really feels more like they treat it like they're staying with a guest?

which- my mom YELLED at me and krem about. like SHOUTED at us about last time they were out here. so we've been more conscious about this being "her" house, and i did what i could to not talk about how we do stuff here while they were out here- but they also spent 80% of their time NOT at the house? so i don't understand what the point of them even sleeping here is tbh

also it was my grandpa's funeral service yesterday so if i didn't already have mixed feelings about father's day........ yikes. it was great though i talked to my aunt for a while about how he used to physically abuse us (she's only like a decade older than me at most so we grew up in the same house for a while)- and she also validated my trauma about my mother's abuse of me too ><><><><

the worst part is i'm mad at my mom but she has surgery in 8 days so also i'm so worried and i just want her to be okay but literally she's so far away and i won't be able to help her through her healing process and i KNOW she's SO BAD about listening to doctors (she goes to work on broken feet, and also breaks her foot bones VERY often) but she's getting a surgery to get like... idk its a band around your stomach to make you thinner or something- but they're gonna have her on a SUPER strict diet, starting with all liquids, and i'm so scared she's not gonna go with it and do the full like 6 weeks of transitioning back into normal food lskdfjhngsdkfjns

but then also i'm mad bc she was like "yeah i'm gonna lose a bunch of weight so ill just give you all my clothes since you're fatter" like thank you for just. casually shaming me lsldkjfnhgsldkjfn i know i'm not "thin" but i'm ltierally healthy like my body is a brick i don't think i COULD get thinner than i am, other than like, my thighs getting smaller or maybe my tits shrinking (please)

anyways i'm medicated right now so my brain is going fast and i just.... bababababaab i wish that my parents were better to me. my mom specifically like my dad is FINE i like him he just gets mad with her when she's being a piece of shit