#and her repeat the same bullshit. like . im not doing this.

[29121996]

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[makingshortstorieslong]

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[slut4slytherinss]

Labyrinth

Pt. 1 - Gold Rush

SEND REQUESTS!!

Summary: reader finds herself falling in love, hard, for Mattheo not long after she broke her own heart over him. Initially convinced that she will never recover from her pain that he caused, she marvels at how she finds comfort in the boy that hurt her.

1,470 words

Warnings: cursing, basically the same as pt.1 minus the angst, so much cheesiness it’s gross, lovey dovey!mattheo bc I’m extremely soft, sort of angsty but in a beautiful way, these aren’t even warnings atp, the other students being jealous cunts, possible references to books or movies, Regulus is STILL dead (wdym he’s literally in bed beside me rn), Dorothea being kind of rude (dw my girl is still your bestie), Drastoria(to all you Drarry shippers I’m sorry), mention of ronmione, slight rush and basically no plot, SUPER FUCKING SHORT IM SORRY😞

2nd person pov

Hufflepuff prefect reader

Female reader

“It only hurts this much right now.” Was what I was thinking the whole time.

You walk down the hallway aside Mattheo, fingers intertwined. You agreed to try it out and it’s lasted a month, but that doesn’t stop everyone in the castle from starting rumors. He traces circles on the back of your hand with his thumbnail, in a comforting manner, he leans in to whisper in your ear “Let’s go back to my dorm, okay?” You nod. You two go to his dorm a lot, not to hook up, you haven’t had sex since the party, his dorm is like a safe space — and his friends are fucking awesome. You’ve barely even told Dorothea what your relationship has been like, becoming closer and closer with the Slytherins.

-

When you get into his dorm you take your robe off, leaving you in your white button-up, skirt that rests appropriately at your knees, calf high socks and black Doc Martens. Mattheo places your robe gently atop a chair next to his desk before taking his own robe off and kicking his shoes off. “Lay with me, love?” He asks sweetly which causes you to roll your eyes, but oblige. You lie next to him in the bed, just talking. That’s all you two ever do lately, though, it gives you a fair bit of anxiety — trusting him with your secrets. It terrifies you, actually. You need to just—

Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. I’ll be getting over you, my whole life.

Seriously. He’s unforgettable. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to ease your nerves. Mattheo must feel how tense you are because he begins to trace stars on your back, it’s his little form of comfort. I’ve never been good at that, he’d told you once. Which seems like total bullshit because he always manages to calm you, or at least make you forget about your issues for a while. That also scares you, the fact he can make you want to cry, strangle him, and yourself, but also smile, laugh, hug him. Terrifies you. No one has ever impacted you this much. Everything is moving so fast, but Mattheo is there with you, along for the ride.

You know how scared I am of elevators. Never trust it if it rises fast, it can’t last.

-

You walk into your dorm, laying down on your bed and dropping your bag on the floor. You quickly turn over when you hear Dorothea’s voice “Look who’s finally home.” She says in an annoyed tone. “Dor? What are you doing in here?” You sit up, she looks at you with raised brows and crossed arms. “Really? You start dating Mattheo Riddle, leave me alone for weeks, get new friends and you’re asking me why I’m here?” You swallow, “You told me you’d get over him, you lied to me.” “Dorothea, c’mon, this is like—like a trial, to see if we’re good together, he’s really sweet.” You try to justify your actions “He’s Mattheo Riddle!” She whispers aggressively, shaking her head. “He’s my boyfriend!” You spit out, the word feeling foreign on your tongue. Dorothea visibly flinches, “What?” “He’s—he’s my boyfriend,” you repeat, more confidently. “You just said that the relationship was a trial.” “Well it is, but he’s still my boyfriend. Mine. So stop trying to criticize him and me simply because I care for him.” You breathe out that last part “You care for him?” She asks with a raised eyebrow. “Yes, I care for him. It’s not like—I’m in love with him or something, I just care.” You say quickly. You’re not in love with him. You can’t be, right?

Uh oh, I’m falling in love again. Oh no, I’m falling in love again. Oh, I’m falling in love. I thought the plane was going down how’d you turn it right around?

-

The day after your interaction with Dorothea is, odd, to say the least. You sit outside in the courtyard, leaning against a tree, you’ve been avoiding Mattheo like the plague ever since your revelation. This whole things just feels so—raw. But of course he found you.

It only feels this raw right now, lost in the labyrinth of my mind.

“Hey,” he gives you a small smile. “Hi.” You reply, he sits down next to you. “I haven’t seen you all day, you avoiding me?” That causes you to laugh—and also tell the truth with a few nods. “Yeah, yeah I have.” He tilts his head but doesn’t seem upset in the slightest. “Why’s that?” “Well—um,” you try to get the words out but they seem a little stuck. “It’s okay, take your time.” He brings his hand down to hold yours, tracing gentle circles on your palm. You smile and lean your head on his shoulder. “I care about you, Mattheo.” You admit. He grins, really grins. “I care about you too.” The boy says, “Really?” He nods “Always have,” he leans down so his lips are right next to your ear, “always will.” His whisper is like a secret for only you to hear, a promise that will never be broke, a sacred oath.

Break up, break free, break through, break down. You would break your back to make me break a smile.

-

“Boys!” You call out in a sing-song voice, “I’ve brought sweets!” They got in trouble for talking too loudly during class and were removed from this weeks Hogsmeade weekend, you decided to buy them some sweets. Blaise is the first to you, “Thank Merlin, Y/n!” He snatches a bag from you as you giggle. You toss some sweets onto Draco’s bed as all the boys thank you, Mattheo stands up and wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek. That action causes all the others to groan and tell you to “Get a room.” Pansy and Astoria walk into the room, talking animatedly, Astoria sits on Draco’s bed beside him, tossing bags of clothes at him, “I’ve got you a new suit.” He grins and kisses the side of her neck in thanks. “Y/n! You totally missed it,” Pansy exclaims, practically shoving Mattheo off of you to lock her arm onto yours. “We caught Weasley and Granger snogging in the bathrooms at Three Broomsticks!” You giggle at her words and sit down on Mattheo’s bed with her, “Seriously? You steal my girlfriend and now my bed?” He asks Pansy, in a mock-offended way, she sticks her tongue out at him. “C’est la vie.” Blaise shrugs with a smirk playing at his lips as he eats the chocolate you gave him. “Speaking of that,” Theodore begins “how’s the sex Matt?” He teases, which causes you to blush and Mattheo to shove Theodore. “Shut it man, that’s so gross.” “Oh c’mon!” Astoria exclaims, “Y/n never tells us anything about it.” She shakes her head. “Maybe she doesn’t want to.” Mattheo defends you, you just stay silent. You tune them out, you just hate how everyone already wants you to be sleeping together. Why would you? It’s taken you long enough to call him your boyfriend, let alone touch him (approximately three weeks). Sure, you’ve hooked up before, but never as a couple. That act is supposed to be intimate with a person you care about. So why do it so soon? You’re taken away from your thoughts by the feel of Mattheo’s hand gripping yours.

You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back. Just like that.

-

It’s now been around two months, officially dating, Dorothea has apologized and became friends with the Slytherin’s, it’s all perfect. Except, you and Mattheo still haven’t kissed nor done anything but cuddle and hold hands. You’re not sure why but the act feels too intimate, too scary for you. You’ve kissed lots of guys before—granted none were your boyfriend—but still. You can’t seriously be falling for him, right?

“Hey love,” Mattheo murmurs, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. “Did Dorothea let you in?” You question with a yawn, he just hums and nods, sitting next to you on your bed. “How’s my girl doing?” He asks, “Stressed and exhausted.” You reply as you trace your quill along the parchment “You’re seriously doing that extra credit essay?” “Yes, Mattheo, I am. I’m totally failing Slughorn’s class and he never lets us do shit like this for extra credit, I’m savoring it.” He chuckles and pulls you closer to him by your waist. “Just take a little break. For me?” You groan but end up giving in, leaning back against his chest. “You’re so lucky I lo—“ you cut yourself off quickly, immediately looking away from him. He stiffens, “You what?” He murmurs, you swallow. “Nothing, nothing important.” You say quickly. Mattheo desperately wants to change the subject so he just nods and looks forward.

Uh oh, I’m falling in love again. Oh no, I’m falling in love again. Oh, I’m falling in love. I thought the plane was going down how’d you turn it right around?

After a few minutes of silence, Mattheo speaks again “What were you going to say?” He asks in a whisper, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your hip bone. “It doesn’t matter.” You murmur, but Mattheo is quite persistent and asks again, you finally give in and mutter “I love you.” Which causes his breath to catch, I love you, those words shouldn’t be a big deal—you aren’t asking him to marry you or anything—but they are. He swallows before murmuring “Really?” To which you reply with a timid “Yes.” A slow smile creeps up on his face. “Well, I love you too.” You grin like an idiot, love, a silly thing to be obsessing over—but alas, you are.

Uh oh, I’m falling in love again. Oh no, I’m falling in love again. Oh, I’m falling in love. I thought the plane was going down how’d you turn it right around?

-

A/N: sorry this one was so short, I just wanted to end this on a sweet note.. sooooo yeah. And sorry for the wait lol🙈🙈

[rainthespiritual]

pt 1 , pt 2

Pre-death Tate Langdon fic PART TWO

btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse, depression, suicide, and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty

TRIGGER WARNING : Tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be, and alot of talk on bullying and angsty teen bullshit yk the drill

summery: Tate invited you to his house and talked to you about wanting to be friends again!

sorry if this is bad I didn't get to edit it cuz im using my phone PLZ ENJOY LETS GET INTO IT YUH

"Meet me here again tommorow, same time."

His words have been repeating in your head since yesterday. I mean yeah almost being caught by a teacher scared you shitless... and you didn't want it to happen again but it seemed almost worth it. the way he makes you feel is worth it. I mean this is the most validated you've felt in months.

You are pulled back to reality, to the smell of musty books and to the sound of the library, "___ you aren't listening again." sighing at your so called friend. you almost snap at her but she continues before you can knowing she now has your attention again. the sound of a distant clock ticking puts you more at ease as you try not to get too deppressed. The library is usually a nice safe space for you but sometimes you are followed, but you just have to deal with it. she goes on for a while before saying something that actually causes you to look up at her,

"Do you see that guy staring at me." she waves her head and your eyes meet Tates. he's sitting down at a distant table with a book in his hands but it's clear he isn't reading it. He smiles when you notice him and its also clear he isn't looking at your friend. He's staring at you.

"Yeah I do Heather.." you break eye contact with him hoping the hotness you feel in your cheeks isn't them turning red. Tate also stops looking in your direction and his attention goes to the book.

"I mean he's cute but he's all quiet and weird, ya know? ..kinda like you." she smiles as you sigh. you aren't quiet she just won't let you get a word in. You look back to the table where Tate was at but he is gone, you look around wondering if he was still in the library but there is no sign of him. not even the book he was reading, he must have taken it. it is common for kids at your school to take books to the tables and leave them if they weren't interested or more likely if they were just trying to seem busy. Tho it being frowned upon it happens quite alot.

"I've gotta go." You gather your things and start to stand.

"..where do you have to go?" Heather your friend scoffs slightly thinking you have nothing better to do.

"I've gotta go to the bathroom actually so.. And class is starting soon, see ya." with that you leave almost as fast as you did yesterday, mostly to avoid more questioning and bitching.

It almost being time to meet Tate you make your way to the bathroom you both were at yesterday. its pretty early but it's nice to have some thinking time. you stare at the door listening making sure no one is coming your way. you'd get questioned deffinetly, especially class starting so soon.. you fidget waiting for the bell to ring but it feels like time is going by way slower than it is. After thinking for a while and the bell not ringing still you decide to go in early, I mean maybe no one's in there? like Tate said almost no one ever comes this way. or maybe Tates there early too? maybe that's why he left the library so soon..

"Tate..?" you walk in slowly praying no one other than Tate is in this bathroom. You cautiously have your eyes closed just incase.

"___?.. You're early, hey." you open your eyes to find a nervous looking Tate.

"Hey yeah I am... is- is that okay, or?" you take a deep breath, the bathroom smells like harsh chemicals and it slightly irritates your nose. "Yeah no its fine, just surprised me is all." what he says makes you feel better and you look up to see him smiling at you, his eyes are red and watery and hes repeatedly wiping his nose.

"is there anything wrong?" you ask genuinely concerned. You seem to notice a wave of sadness on his face, or maybe it was just the smell of this bathroom you felt it irritating your eyes so maybe the same was happening to him? or maybe he was sad, he did tend to look sad. remembering all the small times you looked at him in the halls or at him if he was in the same room as you, he was sad. or atleast not smiling.

"Nothing at all, now that you're here." he walks closer to you, looking down at you.

"me? what do you mean?" you knew exactly what he meant, it just felt so surreal that this tall blonde good smelling guy that just so happened to go to school with you they you also used to be friends with could say this. I mean who would have known. all the boys you were used to interacting with never payed that kind of attention to you.

"I just mean I'm glad you're here. what else would I mean?" you smile again enjoying him saying these things. the validation you felt made you feel great, and he knew exactly what to do to make you feel special. not to say he was lying or anything, he wasn't. His confidence radiated off of him and he knew just what to say.

"well you could mean alot of things." he smirks at your response before pausing.

"Here, sit with me again." He climbs up on the sinks, making sure they aren't wet with his sleeve first. you notice a brownish red stain on his sleeve and decide whether ot not to bring it up. you choose to ignore it climbing up next to him. you take a deep breath noticing how your nose is now used to the harsh chemical smell that is all around the both of you.

"I'm surprised you came," he states looking into your eyes, a weird wave of guilt builds up in your stomach remembering how well you two got along. you truly regret not talking to him and hope you can make up for all the time you two have lost together.

" you know... I think about you all the time." he pushes a section of your hair behind your ear, admiring your face again.

you smile wider at him focusing on his pretty brown eyes. They are so dark and mysterious its not even funny. you also take notice of how dark his undereyes are, he must be tired.

"Is that why you were looking at me earlier? " you nervously smirk watching as he gets up off the counter to stand infront of you.

"we should go to my house." he places his arms on the counter making it so he is looking down on you slightly.

"your house?" you gulp.

"yep, my house," he nods, "we'd have fun I swear. I mean no one's even home." this catches you off guard. I mean a boy inviting you to his house was the last thing you expected to happen. Especially at school, a boy is not only inviting you to his house hes inviting you to ditch school with him at his house.. while no one's home.

"Sure, fuck it!" He leaves first making sure no one is around, you sneak out thanking God no one is around. and somehow you guys make it out without being caught. He leads you and you start to get nervous.

"is- is your house close or?" you gulp feeling a tad bit guilty. You've never missed school on purpose before.

"Actually I was thinking of going somewhere first.." he smirks and puts his hand around your shoulders.

"oh.. where?" the ideas of where he could bring you excited you slightly. The air was clear and the sun was hiding behind some clouds. its a gloomy day yet you were glad you were getting to spend it with Tate, something about him hypnotized you and made you feel ways you never felt before.

"The beach, trust me it's cool. especially on days like this.." he smirks more putting your hand in his, his warm soft touch made you blush. You never felt this way about anyone, he made you feel special.

You both walk in silence just enjoying eachothers company until you make it to the beach. You both sat in the sand admiring the ocean and the gloomy sky.

"do you play hookey alot?" you ask smiling already knowing he often does, you just didn't know what else to say.

"just when I get bored, or sad I guess.. I like to come here, y'know when everything gets too much? I come here.." he sighs looking off into the sea, his eyes are shining with the water and you can't help but to admire his beauty.

"No, I totally get that. I get sad alot too, thats why I go to the library. Usually no one follows me." he frowns looking away in the distance making you unable to look in his eyes anymore.

"y'know.. I don't get why you hang out with those assholes, it's clear they give zero shits about you. all they care about is themselves, even I can tell you that." you frown along with him, you want to tell him off but you can't bring yourself to because in the end... he's right. they don't and never cared about you. they never listen to you about your problems or your feelings. It's always about them them them.

"I know.. that's exactly how it is.. but I have no one else, I'm too scared to be alone." you open up a bit to him about how you feel hoping he will actually listen.

"you wouldn't be alone ___, I'd hang out with you. I mean trust me I'm cooler than all those bitches combined!" he laughs knowing he made you smile.

"then I guess I won't be hanging around them anymore. I got you now." you both smile walking the rest of the way to his house, talking about your past and goofing off.

[variablejabberwocky]

started watching delicious in dungeon/dungeon meishi (sp?). or as i like to call it

~*AUTISM COOKING DUNGEON*~

dear god y'all have undersold this to me. and like i get it. spoilers and all that. but holy shit

our boy isn't like... "tee-hee little-bit of autistic, just a smidge" like you were all making me think. no no. no, this guy is DEEPLY autistic. we're talking "normally we only give THIS much autism to aliens and robots" kind of autism. the "i need an allistic translator for my social fubars" autism (rip your sister dude). the "i learned a thing! so now im not gonna shut up about it for at least an hour" autism.

and they gave this to THE ONE SINGULAR HUMAN IN THE PARTY. this guy is a HUMAN FIGHTER/KNIGHT-type that is like the MOST BORING/NORMIE shit in a d&d style setting. that is "why are you even playing a fantasy game?" level of normie shit.

and THAT is who gets to be The Party Freak(tm)

i love it. completely unironically/unsarcasticly i love it. they took the "that much autism isn't human anymore" bullshit thats so prolific its basically a trope and went NOPE FUCK THAT NOISE

what i find unforgivable though is that none of you mentioned he's a Kronk too.

boy sounds SO SO STUPID but is so so smart when you actually listen to what the fuck he's on about now (and think on why he's on about it right then). he's a big tank (literally in the fantasy class sense) that just wants to help everyone and do his little special interest shit on the side. and it is on the side because the other two seem like they had no idea it was more than trivia until he didn't have to help micromanage a massive party. like this shit has clearly been on repeat in his brain in the background for A WHILE but he was so busy helping/keeping everyone alive it got shoved aside of his outward behavior unless it was useful. he is a lovable dorky himbo and NONE of you mentioned this.

anyway, i'm also loving the way this whole show is basically only like this because him and senshi are vibing on the same wavelength and the other two are basically just along for the ride to save their friend/part member

the whole thing has a Green Eggs and Ham kind of thing going on with it too. but like...environmentalist about it? like it was more subtle about the whole "hey maybe work WITH your current environment rather than against it" bit and then we found out what senshi normally does and subtlety just went right out the fucking window on that front.

i'm also liking the way it both explores the horrors of dying in a world where being brought back to life is common, while also kind of...poking fun at it? like its reminding me of a thing i heard something like "the difference between comedy and tragedy is how far from it you are" kind of concept.

like they are so fucking ... how the fuck do you spell it blase? with the little "/" over the e. that. the story is so bland in how it handles how people came back from horrific deaths and yet when the characters have to face things that remind them of their own it gets heartbreaking very quickly. but like...chillchuck. goddamn. we get just enough from his perspective that its harrowing but the way its shown to us the reader/viewer is like a comedy skit

cause like...its both.

these guys keep dying/nearly dying to THE. SAME. FUCKING. SHIT.

mage elf is slimebait, chillchuck is basically Dungeon Canary with an emphasis on mimics, and himbro over here is gonna get himself killed trying to pet/eat a new monster no one else knows about at some point. probably why his sister seems to have specialized in healing magic.

i know the fandom is thinking once they get his sister back that she's gonna be Just Like Him but i think it would be much funnier AND more 'realistic' if they were classic autism-adhd alliance but siblings about it. like him being better at staying on a task and her being better at navigating social cues and shit. and both of them with their own little special interest energy. i'm betting her's is magic. and thats why even magic elf is like "omg shes so good at magic i'm no where near that level" about it. i mean its also the lesbianism but there IS more to that than thirst from what i've seen.

anyway i'm 6 episodes into what seems to be 12 available on netflix and i'm already hooked. might have to see if i can get my hands on the manga or something too

[somewosoloverrr]

heyy i wanted to request max x r. Maybe they fight and then late at night r cant sleep so goes over to Max's trailer and apologises and the end up cuddling or smth like that? Thanks btw

Heyy, I love this. Thanks for requesting <33

Requests are open btw if anyone wants to request anything.

FIGHT

Warnings : curse words, verbal fight?, cheating implied

It rarely happened, you and Max almost never fought even after a year of dating you only fought like three times.

However today was one of those rare days. You and Max had come back from school and you noticed she was being distant. You knew she was mad but didn’t know why, you tried asking her but she just ignored you. So when the school bus dropped you off you followed her into her trailer.

“What do you want y/n?” She asked pissed off. “Why are you acting like this? What’s wrong?” You asked confused.

“What’s wrong?” She sarcastically repeated “gee I don’t know, it’s just that my girlfriend was all over her teammate, and ignored eye contact with me the whole day” she finished her face red from madness.

Her accusation also made you mad so you didn’t hold back when replying “that’s bullshit, how many times do I have to tell you we are just fucking FRIENDS !”

“Yeah right” the read head scoffed. “I must’ve forgot that friends hold hands,flirt and hug all the time” she finished her sarcastic remark

“You always fucking do this! Oh my god” you exclaimed madly, she was being selfish right…?

“Do what?!” Max questioned

“Get mad over nothing, because everything is always about you” you replied while chucking

“THATS not true! That’s bullshit and you know it!” The ginger headed girl snarked back.

Your couldn’t do this, you hated fights so you decided to leave. “We’ll if it’s such bullshit I’ll just leave!” You finished as you opened her front door and slammed it as you walked out.

As you were walking to your trailer you started to question, if you where right or if she was right..

After eating dinner and your dad telling you to go to sleep you went to your room and later on your bed, closing your eyes to try and fall asleep.

But you couldn’t, as the thoughts of your rough fight with your girlfriend flooded your mind. You sighed knowing you really fucked up, instead of reassuring that you only love her, you said she was selfish.

So you decided to stop tossing and turning in your bed and silently got up. You put a sweatshirt on top of your pajamas and put on some random shoes as you opened your window and jumped outside.

You jogged to Maxs trailer which was nearby, once you got there you inhaled a big breath and then knocked on her window.

No reply came, her lights were turned off so she might’ve been sleeping. Nevertheless you knocked again, again and again… Around 10 minutes had passed and you almost gave up until you heard the floor boards creaking.

And just like that Max appeared in the window and looked tired. Apparently she couldn’t sleep either.

As she opened her window she noticed how cold it was outside so she said “come in, it’s freezing outside”

“Thanks” your replied as you climbed inside her room. Once you got inside you shut the window and looked at your girlfriend who was sitting on the bed.

“Max” “y/n” both of you said at the same time and laughed as she suggested “you go first”

“I just, I just wanted to say I’m sorry, I burst out on you when I should’ve reassured you. Oh god I’m so stupid -“

“Hey shh,” the red head interrupted your rambling as she stood up and put a finger on your lips. “It’s okay, i should’ve believed you when you told me nothing was going on. So im sorry for starting the fight” she apologizing back.

You smiled hearing this and leaned in to kid her, it felt so good. Her lips on yours as she cupped your face and you put your arms on the back of her head. It was short but sweet. “God, you’re cold” Max said noticing it when she touched your face.

“Come on let’s cuddle, we don’t want you catching a cold..” she trailed off as she grabbed your hand guiding you to her bed.

You both got under the covers and you immediately hid your face in the crook of her neck as she pulled the cover over your cold figure and then played with your hair knowing it calms you down.

“Let’s never fight again, I missed you too much” you said in a sleepy tone. You felt max chuckle at your words “yeah let’s never fight again” she agreed as she kissed your forehead.

After a few minutes both of you fell asleep completely content with each other.

[yourlocalartsonist]

Hi ho! I was just reading your fic and omg its so cool! I was wondering what parts of you were put in salena? Like i know you said they have certain parts of them that were inspired by you.

I love it when a character has little bits and pieces of the author! I feel like it helps them seem more realistic or well rounded because you can talk about stuff you know!

Also what kinda impact/moral do you think youd like for your story to have on ppl?

If any of this has been answered you can ignore it!

Also im so excited to see whats next for Salena! She's super cool!

HIIII I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic ;w;

So the short answer to your first question of what parts of me were put into Salena: all of them—

That’s not even an exaggeration, Salena is the first ever proper self insert I’ve made for a story! In the past, any self insert OCs I made would end up being VASTLY different characters by the time I wrote the story since I valued making them work for the narrative more than I valued making them feel like me. But with Salena, it genuinely worked. The personality, morals, reactions, bla bla bla that I would have genuinely work in the story of rise and make for really interesting dynamics with the main cast. It’s honestly hella cool to basically be writing myself and so I took it a step further and put a lot of my actual life experiences into MFIP in order to explore them more. A lot of the scenarios are things I’ve experienced, just more exaggerated for the sake of the story but ngl it feels like an AU for my own life in the best way possible.

This also kind of relates to the second question. I use MFIP as a way to critique a lot about our society and the norms and traditions and all that bullshit we’re taught. Often times, the media and Hollywood and whatever the fuck play the same narrative over and over again even if that narrative is toxic. I mean, how many romcoms have you seen that basically romanticize cheating but make it all cutesy cuz “oh they were just meant to be so it’s okay X main character cheated on their partner to end up with Y main character!”? But also I can’t just write a long ass book saying “this this and this is wrong with society” cuz that would be hella draining to read. So instead, I tried a more fun delivery.

In MFIP, it’s written to make you feel like you’re inside Salena’s mind, witnessing all their reactions and emotions and seeing the world through her lens for better or worse. And I think that will hopefully allow people to understand someone like Salena way better. Understand why Zane’s behavior isn’t okay for example, critiquing the whole “bad boy who’s obsessed with you” stereotype by showing how Salena feels in that situation. I could honestly go on and on with examples but yk I don’t wanna spoil the whole fun~

In a nutshell, I want people who have never experienced a life like Salena’s to understand and empathize with them. I want them to grow their worldview. And for people who relate to Salena, I want them to know they’re not alone. That they’re heard and they’re accepted and they deserve love just as much as Salena does.

I don’t really know how to end this tbh cuz this ramble can be a whole 15 page essay in Times New Roman 12 size font with a fucking Abstract and annotated bibliography. So I will just leave ya with this:

I went through the majority of my life feeling and alone and isolated because no one took the time to ever understand me on a more personal level that’s removed from their own biases. So I made Salena and this story to try and fix that issue and hopefully prevent it from repeating with someone else.

[ofswordsandsorcery]

My thoughts on SHADOW & BONE S2

SHADOW AND BONE SEASON 2 SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

GRISHA VERSE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

!!!!SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!!

I wrote this while watching, so it's really chaotic

Also, I haven't read any of the books in a while, so forgive me for not remembering how to correctly write the names and probably forgetting stuff :D

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED CLICK OFF THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE

Episode 1

A privateer actually, it's an important distinction

Take your fuckin shoes off the bed

TAMAR AND TOLYA FUCKING ICONIC

Episode 2

THE BOOK, IT'S LIVES OF SAITS, OH SAINTS IS IT BEAUTIFUL

"you live in a single moment I live in a thousand"

You're old as shit we get it

Nina Zenik is a fucking menace and I am SO living for it

Also, we love a queen that eats <3

Oh oh Nikolai trying to steal Mal's girlfriend i see

Tamar and Alina interaction ahsjsjsjsj

The bonding over being shu han???

Awww, i loveee themm

You are FANCY CARGO

I'M DYING

Wylan and Nikolai working together would be the end of the world as we know it

HE SAID THE LINE

HE SAID IMPROBABLE

I- I CAN'T OMGGG

I thought the girl working for Aleksander was Zoya for a sec and i was SO confused

Aww, Wylan he's beyond thrilled, he just doesn't show it love

FUTURE HUBBYYS

Jes getting his fucking hat before leaving is everything

Episode 3

Soaaring flyyyyinnn

Nikolai is one hell of an inventor

Jes and Wylan on a missionnn *in a singing voice*

Nina giving Kaz contra >>>

Ajsjyjsjsjs Prince Nikolai reveal i am jsksksjsj AN ICON, truly

You lying bastard

Whack

Even more iconic

David and Genyaaaaa

I love David

I'm still so incredibly mad

On an unrelated note: Lewis Tan is one fine man

A casting decision I actually love

Side eye to Nikolai

(sorry paddy, nothing against you, you are doing a wonderful job just really not how I imagined Nikolai to look at ALL)

Nadja meets Tamar

Brb, I'm going to turn in to a useless queer

Also, I love Aldrick

ZOYALINA ZOYALINA ZOYALINA

Fuck allies, you need a wife

I am so living for Wylan begrudgingly agreeing with Jes

Wylans horrified stare at the piano playing omg and the little flinch

"He's really good" lol

Jes is so falling in love with Wylan over his piano playing skills

That LOOK

YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT THAT IS SO CUTE I'M CRYING

Uhhh, kaz inej fight lol

Let me bandage it for you even tho i am deadly afraid of touching skin

Ahhh, communication

Omg the subtle shaking? The fear in his eyes? Well done.

What's your telll?

The cane the limp, know ones ever smart enough to look for the real one????

It's not what you think??

Nina is like yeah, take your bullshitting elsewhere

Ahaaa

I LOVE seeing that friendship develop.

Shit at first dates lmao

Love you Nina

Kaz fighting scene omg

Badass.

Crow club takeover? What?

Y'all I wasn't prepared for this

So much is happening at once, help

Eww he licked the knife? Bah

Go Inej, get his ass..

THE HAIR FLIP

INEJ INEJ INEJ INEJ INEJJJJJ

BABES YOU'RE FUCKING BADASS

Wow the prayer

So much emotionnnn

Ajhsjsjsj

Vladim, what are you doing love

General Kirigan what the actual fuck

That.. Is your mom

The horror on David's face

I feel the same way tho

I HaVe a PrOPosAL

Shut up Nikolai, you're gonna get punched again and you're face is actually to pretty for that...

STOP IT. They're holding hands

I repeat THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS

This is a fucking emotional roller-coaster

I'm not going anywhere - walks away

Thanks Jes, for saying what i thought

Jesper you little fuck

Don't betray Wylan like that?

Wylan talking about how Alby isn't responsible for who his father is

Van Eck im FUCKING LOOKING AT YOU

Oh Mathias my poor boy <3 he seriously needs a hug...

What's your price? Nuh uh

Episode 4

Vasily you idiot

TAMARR <3

Razrusha'ya

Ruined? I AM NOT RUINED I AM RUINATION

Baghra the wise im cackling

I KINDA LIKE YOUR FACE?

Jes you can't just drop that casually and then move one as if fucking nothing happend????

No mourners no funerals and it's almost all of my babies

Nadjas impressed look at Tamar and her axes has me SOBBING

TOLYA WITH HIS BOOOK

LOVE

That was a long time ago

Yeah oops

Make him kneel make him kneel make him kneel omg

That whole scene is so fucking good i had to actually rewatch it multiple times before i could move on

Tolya and Tamar supremacy <3

Not The POETRYYY

Tamar and Tolya meeting the crows??? Holy shit

This has taken so many twists and turns and loopings what

You could... Come with me??

Wylans lil shrug???? I'm actually crying

Kit's acting in the confession scene? SPECTACULAR the glances, the lil eye roll before be gathers the full courage, the little waver in his voice when he does confess??

A WYLAN KISS? WHAT I DID NOT EXPECT THAT AT ALL

HELP

HELP

HELPPPPP

Maybe you need a reminder?? The laughs the giggles I'm going to spontaneously combust

Wtf kaz

I worry about you?

I can't have a weak link in my crew?

You're a bloody idiot, is what you are

Nina should kock some sense into that head of yours after what you just said you moron

I think Rollins knocked it outa ya

And king he shall be

Just not yet oops

Unhinged Genya? hell yes!!!!

Ahhh, Baghra, you sly fucker

Not Adrik

Not him

Please not him

Jesper, Inej and Nina solidarity

Jes loves the gossip so much ahahahah

Episode 5

Genya not wanting David to see her because she's afraid of what he'll think hurts my heart

Genyalina hug supremacy

Baghra said sobatchka

I'm crying. This is not the time but omh

YOU DON'T NEED FIXING

Damn right she doesn't.

Tolya looking at the bowl of food is literally me

NINA AND TOLYA BONDING OVER FOOD

NOT WHAT I THOUGHT I'D GET BUT NOW I NEED MORE, OH LORD

I'm not here for you whoops

Oh Jes, you said the wrong thing baby

Bhez Ju? It looks INCREDIBLE!!!

Tolya being like wtf is going on with you and wylan is gold

I know metal

David i love you

The gentle forehead press

What did you do to him

Tolya giving relationship advice to jesper avout wylan I'm going to cry

Nvm I'm actually already crying

Nina trying to talk to Kaz about tea had me laughing so hard

Tolya snacking all the time, we love it

Zoya honestly

Tolyas comment about soldiers, i love that

Episode 6

MAMA

I'm laughing so hard

Poor Mal

He doesn't deserve any of this

The thief is so beautiful

And she's so badass

SHE'S DOING A GRISHA VERSION OF BLOODBENDING??? THAT IS GENIUS

Lol she's giving it to Jesper

I think she knows he's a special one

Love her so much

Another Wesper kiss??? Also, Tolya's knowing face lmao

Mathias = slab of fur and i will not refer to him as anything else ever again

Episode 7

Why on earth is everyone losing their hands?

This is ridiculous

Let me introduce you to Inej - Badass of the Barrel

Uh oh is right you witch

The crows join, it's over you idiots

Not the cane, that's a sacrilege what you just did.

Sibling reunion I'm sobbing over that hug

Um, Mal u okay hun?

Episode 8

Not kaz giving his cane away what is happening???

My Man

MY MAN

MY MAN

Kaz and Tolya bonding over Poetry? Of all things? love it

Ah ah ah is that an upward lip tug i see Kaz?

Jes... Why did you ruin the moment like that?

There's six of you you morons

Just don't know it yet lovelies

Have i said i don't like Genya's eye thing? It just looks so cheap

He wants an investment lol

Kaz you fuking idiot

You actually have to say it you know

Oof, the I want- I want you

Gives me the same vibes as i love, i love, i love you

How many fucking flying ships do they have?

Nah wtf is this Inej & Tolya shit

What's with the suggestive camera angles, stop that

Actually, i like the sturmhond look on Mal

Inej on the boat taking over slaver ships

So many things i didn't think I'd see this season omg

Ketterdam what kinda fucked up, out of proportion moon do you have???

Ugh not the apparat

Fuck off already, i didn't miss you at ALL

For a man of faith...

Love you for that, sobachka

Finally a better eye patch

Zoya you actually could lol

Are we going to get a triumvirate sitch with Alina?

Omgg yesss

You finally gonna go to Fjerda huh

I AM SO LIVING FOR THE DRESSES

EXCEPT ZOYAS... WHERE'S THE SIGNATURE BLUE SILVER?

Not that it doesn't look good just...

Talk about show stopping, am i right

Well, that's a way to end the show

Additional things I LOVED

- The show name at the beginning of every episode

- The different languages >>>>

- everything Tolya does

-Patrick Gibson as Nikolai, the longer I watched the better it got

What I did NOT like:

- lots of things actually but I have decided for myself that from here I'll just see the show as something different from the books and cherish it for what it is

-David and Genya having literally five seconds before he died? WTF? David was supposed to be here longer :/

-that they put SO MUCH into this season? like so much is happening at once and then they introduce additional stuff??? Felt a little rushed to me... Like were kinda already at the point of King of Scars but at the same time the SOC plotline is so ripped apart? I am confused...

[hellfireclubofficial]

𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟

concept board | soundtrack

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 -> youre the only person who knows eddie's big secret- well, you, your little brother dustin, and all of his friends.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 -> 7.6k

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 -> eddie munson x henderson!reader, gender neutral!reader

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 -> werewolf au, starts angsty, gets fluffy, gets kinda smutty, gets angsty again, and the cycle repeats bc im unstoppable, lots of cursing, ex boyfriend!steve, secret relationship trope, weapons, lots of blood mentions, little bit of violence (?), unexplicit depictions of sex (id rate it like 17+), eddie being a little shit, henderson sibling dynamic for the win, robin and steve dicking around, let me know if i missed anything. i havent even read the full thing myself bc im scared

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 -> thank you all for being so patient with me while i pulled this out of my ass. love you guys for real <3 be sure to check out the concept board and playlist linked at the top too !! i think theyre cool and i have decent opinions

saturday

by the time you arrived, the group had already debriefed, and they looked at you with the same mixture of concern and confusion that ted and karen did when you knocked on their door.

the stairs creaked with every careful step you took. it was difficult to make a subtle entrance when you were possibly several hours late to a meeting that was, evidently, very urgent. the fear that pulsed through your body when your mother relayed a message to you from your brother, one that was A) not particularly kind and B) possibly dooming.

"you look like shit," dustin noted when he saw the smudges of dirt on your jeans, paired with the dried blood on your hands and the bits of twigs in your hair, "and way to be on time. does 'code red' mean nothing to you?"

"i dont carry a walkie with me everywhere, dustin," you narrowed your eyes at him, an action to which he responded with a middle finger, "i actually have a life."

"is that why you look like you slept in a cave?" dustin smiled proudly at his taunt, but he made a fair point. suddenly, you became extra aware of just how disheveled your hair was, and you tried to dust some of the mud from your pants.

if it were just dustin, youd have left him thinking that, yeah, you did sleep in a cave, but everyone was there: lucas, max, nancy, robin, and even steve, whom you hadnt really spoken to all that much since things went south between the two of you. in all fairness, he didn't look too pleased to be there, either, nor did he look like he was going to put up with your bullshit. his arms were permanently crossed as he loomed in the corner, leaning on the arm of the couch and as far from you as he could get.

"im sorry that im late, guys, really, but-"

"but nothing," steve interjected, "no offense, y/n, but we have bigger problems than your midnight scavenger hunt or whatever the hell you were doing."

"i dont think thats true, but okay," you breathed a laugh before realizing that everyone was staring you down, and not in a haha-y/n-is-making-a-joke way- they were burning holes in you. your laugh got caught in your throat, "wait, bigger how?"

nancy scooted her chair at the small table over to make room for you, and, as you stepped down off the stairs, the items on the table became clearer: a bear trap, a torch, a shotgun, and a new can of farah fawcett spray.

"the demogorgon is back," max sighed, not breaking eye contact with you, no matter how many times your eyes flickered from hers to the weapons on the table, "i heard it last night near my place, and mike and nancy said they heard it here, as well."

"it was loud," nancy piped up after you looked to her for confirmation, "scratching around, but it was different somehow."

"we think, maybe, one got left behind when joyce closed the gate and, i dont know, adapted to hawkins," robin lifted and dropped her palms onto the tabletop in confusion.

you were confused, too. you watched all the creatures from the upside down shrivel up and turn to dust as soon as the gate began to close, so it didnt make sense for one to somehow adapt. slowly, you began to put the pieces together, weaving flashes from the previous night together to realize what was actually going on. it frightened you to your core.

before you could open your mouth to speak, steve reached for the can of hairspray, shaking it vigorously back and forth, just how it says to in the directions printed on the back, "maybe the son of a bitch hibernated. now its hungry, and im not gonna wait around for it to eat."

talk erupted of plans to set up a trap in both locations, stakeouts, buying ammunition, getting gasoline for the fire trails- you tried to interject, but kept getting talked over.

"i say we go to max's tonight, since she heard it first," lucas added.

"guys-"

"yeah, this demogorgon is going down," dustin chimed in, handing lucas his trusty slingshot from the table, "for real this time."

"hold on, guys-"

"were gonna need bait," robin said, more like asked, cocking her head towards steve who replied with a series of small nods and a snap in her direction, "oh, yep! were gonna need a shit ton of raw meat."

"that wasnt a demogorgon," you finally croaked, loud enough to shut everyone up. it helped that you also moved from your place at the table and back to the stairs, blocking steve from his impromptu grocery run. the step gave you the height advantage over him, "that was something else, someone."

silence is hard to read. did they believe you? did they think you were messing with them? you liked to have fun, but not during a code red. that meant nothing to them. being late erased any form of reliability you had left, and everyone was too serious to give you the benefit of the doubt. especially steve.

"thats very funny, y/n," he gave you a fake smile, gentle eyes squinted and determined. you knew if you didnt move, hed move you, pick you up by your shoulders and slide right by you.

"im not joking, steve," you said, squaring , "i usually am, but not this time."

it was never easy keeping secrets, let alone secrets about secrets.

"what do you mean, 'someone?'" asked nancy, her brows furrowed, and rightfully so with all the nonsense you just spilled in front of her, in front of everyone.

"the sound you guys heard last night wasnt a demogorgon," you restated, taking a deep breath before finishing, "it was eddie."

voices in unison exclaimed, confused, "munson?"

it was important to note the way steves jaw tensed at the mere mention of his name. he had always been the jealous type, and its exactly why you broke up with him. sweet little steve turned into a major pain in your ass. maybe it was because he liked you, or maybe it was because he just hated everyone else. you liked him better as a friend anyhow.

and it was good, too, since you two had a common factor: dustin. your little brother was also one of his closest friends, in the least weird way. it was how you met steve, through dustin, but it was also how you met eddie.

steve breathed a laugh, almost a scoff, and turned his back to you, a reaction you would have never predicted. he threw his hands up in defeat, landing them on his hips, "alright."

your face contorted with confusion, "really?"

"no, y/n," steve turned back around to you, briefly startling you and, clearly, everyone else in the room. the air became a little thicker, like fog as you held your breath. he laughed again, "hell no."

"you honestly want me to believe that eddie 'the freak' munson is running around on all fours in the goddamn woods growling and shit like a demogorgon?" steve asked, nearly choking on a laugh in the middle of his sentence. his hands waved when he talked, motioning towards the window before they found themselves back on his waist.

every eye in the room was either widened as far as it could stretch or covered with a disappointed palm. they thought you were lying, your friends. you were never one to lie, ever. a fib here or there for comedic effect, maybe, but a bold faced lie was not on your list of tricks. all you could do was dig.

"more like a, uh," you gulped, "demo-dog."

"jesus christ," steve mumbled and rubbed his temples.

the room filled with sighs and similar muttered exclamations of irritation as it typically did when you suggested a theory. in all fairness, you werent always right on the money, but this was different. you didnt blame them for not believing you, though.

"y/n, im going to need you to be a little bit clearer," robin sat up straight in her chair, giving you her best comforting and patient smile, "about the dog part, i mean."

"yeah, a lot clearer," steve added, "because i dont think i like what im thinking."

you crossed your arms over your chest under all the scrutiny, "steve, i know it sounds crazy, but-"

"crazy?," steve laughed, running a hand through his hair, one of his more admirable habits, "no, crazy doesnt cut it. honestly, the image of him doing that for fun is not that outlandish, but if youre trying to tell me eddie munson is a werewolf, y/n, youre out of your mind."

it was a tense moment, then and there, with steve teetering even closer to hating your guts and everyone else terrified of possibly feeling the same. all you could do was shrug, uncrossing your arms, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants, and striping the dried mud with new moisture. you sighed,

"then i guess im out of my mind, harrington."

friday

youd never been to the hideout before. social gatherings of any kind werent really your scene unless they had to be. in fact, the smell of the hideout alone was enough to keep you away, a thick fog of sweat, booze, and smoke. it crawled under the door as you pulled it open and stepped inside.

it was small, intimate, despite the weekend drinkers that packed in like sardines. there was quite a bigger crowd than the usual five that hung around on tuesdays, or so youd been told. the soft hum of conversations floated over of the sound of microphone feedback as you wove your way closer to the front of the room.

showing up was a last minute decision. your friday nights are best spent in your bed, alone, and in something much more comfortable than the clothes you were wearing. you pinched yourself every time you picked up an item of clothing and thought about whether or not eddie would like it, as if he didnt drool over you regardless. still, you dressed to impress, and it worked.

"holy shit," eddie deadpanned as he stepped off the shallow drop from the stage onto the main floor, his hair bouncing off his sweat soaked shoulders as he trotted to you, "look who finally decided to show. you missed, like, most of the set by the way."

"wait, actually," his eyes lit up as he raised a finger into the air in faux contemplation, dismissing the thoughts just as fast as they arrived, "you know what- i dont even care. just glad youre here."

that was a bit of an exaggeration- you were only twenty minutes late. when you made it to the front, eddie was lost in his own version of reality, fingers dancing on wires. thats how you knew he didnt notice the exact time you arrived. when he played, he ditched the old picture-everyone-in-their-underwear stagefright trick and opt for something a little bit stranger, as expected. he told you about it once, and you tried to forget. but, alas, something that absurd was permanently seared into your mind.

it made it kind of difficult to support him from the front row when you knew he was picturing you as a centaur.

"i didnt want you to mentally horse-ify my bottom half," you protested. eddie gasped, clutching his chest dramatically.

"ill have you know, y/n, i dont do that anymore," he said, "ive matured. grown, as a person."

he leaned a little closer to you, his stray curls tickling your skin at such proximity, sending goosebumps down your arms. "i've moved onto minotaurs."

you smacked his arm, and he stuck his tongue out at you before rustling the top of your hair with his hand. he quickly flipped his wrists towards you, flashing you two middle fingers as he backed toward the stage again. you shot him one of your own in return.

he was truly in his element up there, no denying it. his passion was so evident in the way he moved that you could hardly pull your eyes from him, no one could. it was entirely possible you were eyeing him a little more intently than the old drunk guys next to you. maybe just a little, though.

you waited outside after the show. it rained while you were inside, so there was hardly any relief when you exited one humid space to another. the parking lot was riddled with pothole puddles and oil slick rainbows under the street lamps. the clouds were thick in the sky, so much that it almost scared you. the moon was lost, the only indicator of her a shallow ring of white seeping through the slate of grey. you busied yourself kicking rocks in the parking space next to eddies van until the moment he was within view.

as he got closer, you could see his forehead was damp with sweat, his curls sticking to the sides of his face. with his guitar case draped over his shoulder, he waved his arm in your direction despite being only a couple feet from you.

"you guys were amazing," you beamed, closing the distance between the two of you and following him the rest of the way to the van.

"you think so?" eddie smirked. he opened the sliding door of the van and placed his guitar gently in the back, clearing the empty cups, papers, and ashes on the floor to make room.

you hummed in response, "mhm."

"well," he said in harmony with the clicking of the door back into place and grabbed you by your hips, gently backing you against the side of the vehicle, "you looked amazing. look... look amazing."

you could feel the mix of rain droplets and dew that remained on the side of the van through the back of your shirt, but the heat beneath eddies fingers distracted you from the chill that managed to cling to everything in the humid, post-rain air. your arms snaked up and around the back of his neck, your fingers threading into the mess of his hair. you struggled to maintain eye contact with him for several reasons, but mainly because his lips were so inviting. plump, dark pink, and a little swollen from being tucked between his teeth all evening.

his eyes never left yours, though, even when they abandoned his face entirely to scan the activity in the parking lot. he knew what you were doing, and he sighed, shaking the hair from his view before softly clearing his throat.

"y/n," he brought a hand to your cheek, his rings soothing against your flushed skin, "you know what im going to say."

this thumb dragged gently across your cheek, ghosting your lip.

"im just checking," you said, your voice higher in defense, "can never be too careful."

"you can and you are," he mimicked your defensive tone and brought his other hand from your waist to the other side of your face, now cupping your cheeks, "just once, i want to kiss you in semi-public, preferably in daylight but im not picky, without you thinking about steve. youre going to summon him."

"i just worry," you placed your hands over eddies wrists, "about you. about him. about everything, really."

his lips turned up, ever so slightly, at your sentiment, his eyes glossed over and shining like syrup in the orange hued lights. eddie took a step closer to you, pressing your body against his, and he craned his neck, hovering his lips above yours. he let your lips brush over his, smirking when he pulled back and brought you with him, chasing them.

"i love that you care about my wellbeing, y/n," eddie muttered, his breath a phantom on your tongue with how close he was to your mouth, "but i am going to kiss you, right here, right now... and i dont even care if harrington kicks my ass."

youd never imagined that you would be making out with eddie munson, pressed up against his shitty van, let alone writhing under his touch, enjoying it. he let his hands fall from your face, one of them resting on the side of your neck and the other providing him with some leverage against the metal siding of his van.

he told you once about how you make him weak in the knees, but you didnt realize how literal he was being until you grazed his bottom lip with your teeth and felt him tremble against you.

"you," eddie breathed, pressing a heavy and needy kiss to your lips, one you thought would bruise if it had been any longer, "you drive me fucking crazy."

hastily, he placed another kiss on your lips, nearly missing them. you couldnt help but smile into it, smile at how he was kissing you like youd melt away in his hands. maybe youd evaporate and turn into a cloud, or hed kiss you so hard youd seep into the side of his van and hed have no choice but to wash it more than once a year to keep you sparkling.

"how about you," you wrapped your arms around eddies neck, pulling yourself up to his ear and whispering, "drive us to your place."

letting eddie drive you anywhere under normal circumstances was a death wish in itself since he was notorious for basically breaking all traffic laws at least once a week, sometimes for fun. youd never seen him drive so fast. never before had you felt the need to use the little handle above the window, but your knuckles were white around both the handle and eddies hand as he turned too wide around curves and crossed solid lines and whipped it into his driveway with such an abrupt stop that the screech of his tires woke the neighbors dog.

"ah, shut up," he shouted over his shoulder and across the road, pushing the door open and stepping out of the way, "after you."

you stepped through his doorway for what felt like the hundredth time. youd only grown close to eddie within the last few months, and youd been romantic with him for even less. dustin was the one to introduce you after eddie had bugged him about you one too many times. youd noticed him before that, though, sneaking glances at you when youd pick dustin up from hellfire and hiding his blush under a strand of hair hed pull across his face.

the last thing you expected eddie munson to be was shy, but he was putty in your hands.

he was nothing like everyone made him out to be, including steve who had deemed him "the freak." steve wasnt a bad guy by any means. he rebounded onto you after things went south between him and nancy, and you knew it wouldnt last. it was possible that his only flaw was his jealousy. you couldnt talk to anyone without him feeling a little insecure. thats all he did, though, was feel insecure and make you miserable for it, and you didnt want eddie to face the consequences of your actions, no matter how out of character those consequences would be for steve harrington.

eddies uncles mug collection rattled against the wooden shelf when he pulled the door to behind him, rubbing his hands together mischievously as he scooted his feet towards you. an evil smile tugged at his lips when he moved swiftly past you, ignoring your outstretched arms and continuing his scoot to the fridge.

"check this out, babe," his voice was muffled from inside the appliance, buried under the rustling of items and the clinking of glass bottles, "actually, no. close your eyes first."

it could have been anything. youd have been lying if youd said you weren't mildly terrified of what he was pulling from his fridge. your arms fell limp at your sides, fists clenched to conceal the sweat that was glistening on your palms. with your eyes squeezed shut, you could only hear the door rattle as it fell closed closed.

anytime eddie had you close your eyes to build suspense, he would check to see if you were peeking, catching glimpses through your lashes.

"how many fingers am i holding up?" eddie asked after waving an open hand over your closed eyes, the air dusting over your cheeks.

"one."

"fuck you," eddie spat, "are you cheating right now?"

you laughed at how genuinely offended he was that you guessed it right. although, it was impossible to get wrong. "its always one, eddie. literally always."

if you knew that if you had opened your eyes, you would have seen him standing, mystery object tucked under his arm with all his weight on one leg and a grand gesture on display in front of your face: his middle finger.

"yeah, okay," he sighed in defeat, "just open your eyes, cheater."

this might have been the first time youd opened your eyes and been actually surprised. usually it was a freshly rolled blunt or something you left behind that you asked him to return to you-- things you expected. this time, it was different, and a smile found itself on every corner of your face.

eddie held a glass bottle by the cap with one hand, the other gesturing beneath it like a shelf, metal clad fingers wiggling in sync with his eyebrows. his smile was tucked between his teeth.

"picked it up just for you, sweetheart," he said before ceasing all animation, deadpanning when you didnt immediately say something, "it is your favorite, right? i didnt... make that up or something?"

"no, it is," you smiled, gently taking the bottle of soda from his hands and flashing him softened eyes, "thanks."

"i couldnt finish mine," eddie confessed, rocking on his heels as you twisted the metal cap away, letting an exaggerated shiver rack his shoulders.

"didnt like it?" you wiped your lips on the back of your hand.

"shits disgusting, y/n," he held back a fake gag, "tastes like fizzy piss."

you raised your eyebrows at him, "and youd know?"

"id know."

the liquid in the bottom half of your bottle sloshed around as you followed eddie down the hallway, watching the bounce of his hair dwindle to nothing when he reached the door. everything seemed to make noise over there, the floors squeaked, the lights buzzed. it didnt help that eddie mimicked every sound he heard, a high pitched voice ringing with the creak of his bedroom door as he pushed it open.

you werent sure that he even had a lightbuld in the ceiling light. his room was always dark, always still. the blinds in his window were broken, though, so the yellow glow from the street lamps bled through.

"oh, wow, munson," you smirked at him, picking up a pair of dirty underwear from the foot of his bed, "did you clean up for me?"

he was quick to snatch it from between your pinched fingers and stuff it in his closet, kicking the pile of laundry he scrambled to hide from you before you noticed it back into the small space.

"for sure, babe," he breathed a laugh, shrugging, "yeah, i cleaned... mopped and shit."

you raised your eyebrows, glancing down at his carpeted floors, "mhm."

eddies room was usually messy, but you could hardly tell unless you took careful notice of the clothes in the floor. his walls were cluttered with posters and random paper clippings, like a collage of his personality: movie tickets, parking tickets, and every test he got an F on, which, honestly, was most of them. honorable mentions include his guitar hanging from the mirror and a paper desk calendar duct taped to the wall beside his headboard, detailing the global holidays and farmers almanac harvesting and planting times.

"could you be anymore obvious, eds?" you breathed a laugh, tracing the scribbles on the calendar with the tip of your finger.

"what," eddie said rather quickly, like you startled him. he looked up from the floor where he was still trying to force clothes into the closet.

"phases of the moon," you smirked, feeling the ridges of the sketches before whispering, "real subtle."

eddie pulled the accordian style closet doors closed as you continued behind him, standing up and turning to face you with his hands strategically placed on his hips, "should i write a reminder for your grooming appointment next week? behavioral training?"

"honestly, y/n," he motioned towards himself, from his head to his toes, "do i look like i need either of those?"

you closed the gap between the two of you, stepping over the bits of laundry he missed in his last minute cleaning frenzy, and raked your fingers through the sides of his hair, smoothing out the curls that were sticking out. you whispered, "i dont think i should answer that."

"youre mean," eddies lips were turned downward in a slight pout before his gentle expression dissolved entirely, "wipe that shit-eating grin off your face."

your eyes held onto his, "why dont you?"

you pulled that confidence directly out of your ass. shaking hands became steadied by his shoulders as his lips melted onto yours. you would have never admitted how badly you wanted eddie munson, but here you were, settled on his lap, pulling his tshirt over his head and bursting at the seams to feel his lips on your skin. you smoothed your fingers over the black lines on his chest and arms, even one you discovered on his hip. he hissed through his teeth as you pressed your lips to the ink on his forearm, up his bicep, his shoulder, and trailed up his neck. lips parted, breath growing heavier.

his fingertips dug into your thighs on either side of him, pulling you closer to him. as if it were even possible, as if your chests werent adhered with sweat. he looked so beautiful like this, a mess. his hair was plastered to his forehead and his chest heaved, shining even in the dull overhead of his room. he seemed to glow when he would sweat, something that you strived to see every time you ended up like this. it was the only benefit of his room having zero air flow.

one thing about eddie munson: he was a biter. oral fixation for days. hed bite your neck, licking stripes over the red trails his teeth left, bite your wrists to taste the bitter sting of your perfume. hed bite your lips. that was your guilty pleasure with him, going so slow when youd kiss him that hed take control. he couldnt stand it.

you decided, this time, to try it on him instead. you wrapped the hair at the base of his neck around your fingers and tilted his head back, exposing his pretty neck.

"h-holy fucking shit," eddie managed to breathe out when he felt your teeth scrape down the side of his neck. his grip on you tightened, hips bucking up for any friction he could get, "please, do that again."

you dragged your tongue up the length of his neck, placing tiny kisses along his jaw and up to his lips, where he was eager to taste you, resisting the hold you had on his hair to chase your lips. you caved; you had to. eddie moaned softly into your mouth when he felt your teeth sting at his lip, soothing the area with your tongue.

what happened next was unexpected, but not the strangest thing that could have happened. especially given what youd witnessed the past couple of years. in fact, you should have been more concerned when you felt a sharp pain in your legs, like knives were pricking your flesh. you gasped against eddies mouth and pulled back, breaking a kiss that left a trail of bright red spit from his lips to yours. blood. your blood, and it was pooling in your gums, gushing from two minor gashes in your bottom lip.

you covered your mouth with your free hand, releasing eddies hair when you glanced down at how much blood had actually been drawn. no big deal, you thought, this is fine.

and it was. until you looked down even further and saw the curved, thick nails that adorned the tips of eddies fingers, the nails that were partially sunken into your flesh. having your lips bitten off was a risk you took every time you kissed eddie, but the sight of his claws in your thighs set you off just a teensy bit.

slowly, you raised your head, breath trembling to match your shaking hands, and met his gaze where he was staring at you with unadulterated horror. his usual dark eyes were glowing a dim amber, and they were glossed over with tears.

"i...," eddies voice was soft and wavering as he gulped, "im sorry."

saturday

"no way you did the devils tango with eddie," dustin deadpanned, his hands clasped over his mouth in disgust. similar reactions plagued the table of people surrounding you, with lucas pretending to retch behind him and mike plugging his ears with his fingers. they all sat and listened contently to a certain point. apparently, you were a pacer, so you moved over every available inch of the wheelers basement while you recounted the previous nights events.

everyone was more shocked by the fact that you were hooking up with eddie munson and less shocked that he was a fucking werewolf.

"im gonna be sick," max buried her head in the bend of her arm.

"when i said to tell us everything," robins hands were scrunched in her hair while her elbows rested on the table, "i didnt mean... everything."

you shrugged, "im thorough."

"thats a word for it," steve rolled his eyes, "what happened next?"

"of course youd want to know," dustin snickered, and steve smacked the bill of his hat. steve looked to you for clarity.

"i just mean," he ran a hand through his hair, "somehow eddie ended up in the woods and y/n looks like shit."

"wow thanks," you snarled your nose at him, but he was right. youd never tell him, though, "it gets a little blurry here."

you explained it to them, and it sounded even more absurd the second time around. eddie was just as freaked out about the whole thing as you, maybe even more.

"he cleaned me up," you said, "you know, gave me bandaids and shit for my legs. ive known about it for a while, but he said that his lycanthropy had been dormant way past the time it should have activated. he just assumed it skipped him, which made sense to me. you know, like, how diseases skip a generation, but this disease has no cure and it makes you, like, a dog."

"oh yeah, y/n," max laughed, throwing her hands in the air in defeat, "total sense."

"he thinks it only got activated because he was... excited," everyone gagged, covering their faces to sheild you from their obvious disgust, "can you guys be mature, please?"

"the adrenaline," nancy chimed in over top of the younger kids snickering, "it could have triggered his fight or flight or something."

lucas leaned into the huddle of boys, "more like fight or bite," and max smacked the back of his head.

"i think its the drugs," steve rested his weight on the stair railing beside of you, "dudes always stoned. or drunk. could have altered the way his brain received the triggers or whatever."

it wasnt a bad idea, and there werent exactly scientific studies on the adverse effects of substances on lycanthropy. steve harringtons shot in the dark was the best you had to go on.

"wait, so, where is eddie right now?" dustin asked, smacking lucas's arm after he said something else. you couldnt hear it, but it was probably stupid.

youd wondered the same thing as you were trekking through the flora and fauna of hawkins in the wee hours of the night. you knew all of eddies favorite spots, but none of them were necessarily great hiding spots. you werent even sure if thats what he was doing, hiding.

"i was hoping maybe you all could help me find out."

"did you check his place?" dustin immediately followed your proposition with the most obvious solution.

"did i check his place," you restated the question, blinking at dustin dumfoundedly. he threw his hands up, mumbling sarcastic apologies as you spat, "yeah, dustin, i checked his place."

actually, you wished it had been that simple. after the... incident, you were both shaken up. it was a risk you had known about, the werewolf thing, but you knew he wouldnt hurt you on purpose. mainly because he was too gentle. youd assumed that any increase in intensity would just make him an average amount of dangerous. did that make you naive? maybe.

eddies shaking hands smoothed the final bandaid over your thigh, lining it up next to the other four. his brows were drawn close in a combination of guilt and concentration, making sure you were alright and that the bandages would stick. you were sitting on his bathroom counter, back pressed against the barren drywall where a mirror once was.

you lowered your head, tilting it to meet his eyes. eddies gaze flickered to yours and back to your lap, a deep sigh forcing itself out of his lungs and through his nose. "hey," you whispered, raking your fingers up his forearms, "we're okay."

you knew as soon as he looked up that all he could see was the two gashes on your lip, barely scabbing and glistening, and the hickies bruising at the bottom of your neck beginning to look more and more like injuries than a mark of passion. he was afraid to touch you, but you needed him to feel that you were still there.

"can you say something, eddie," you pushed the hair from his face, gently, his eyes still fixed anywhere but on you, "anything?"

"please leave."

he mumbled the words, almost like he was hoping you wouldnt hear them, that youd ask him to repeat them and he could say something else. you squeezed from between his body and the counter and gave him one final glance before doing what he asked.

of course, you forgot in the midst of your grand exit that your car was still at the hideout. thanks, munson, for the ride.

"there was a half hour period last night where i was doing the walk of shame home. not my proudest moment," you shrugged that bit off, "but i went back for him..."

"and he was gone," nancy finished your sentence for you, nodding to herself and sorting out the details.

"we have to find him," dustin added, "at least before someone else does."

steve, taking initiative, took large strides towards the table full of demogorgon repellent. "lets go, then," he announced, grabbed the shotgun, and held it up to the light before everyone shouted in confusion, layered insults and exclamations dissolving the tense air.

"what the hell, steve?"

"hang on, harrington-"

"what, are you gonna shoot him?"

youd never seen steve look so taken aback, surprisingly. he was either one step ahead or ten steps behind. he looked at you, mouth agape, "is this guy not a giant, burly, flesh eating dog right now?"

"no, steve," you dragged, "have you never seen teen wolf?"

the previous evenings rain was still lingering in damp patches on the sidewalks and in the air, thick as smog as you walked down the sidewalk in a cluster. you had all piled in karens car and went to every place you figured eddie would go, starting with the hellfire room at the high school and, consequently, some minor breaking and entering. you dragged them to the hideout, reefer ricks, and even the factory his uncle worked at.

"i didnt think he would be in there, but theres no harm in checking," you sighed into the brisk atmosphere, a cloud forming on the cusp of your lips as you shoved your hands into your pockets. you just snooped around a little bit at the factory, afraid of getting into too much trouble. how would you look for eddie if you got arrested for trespassing?

dustin placed a hand on your shoulder as everyone made their way back into the car, "is there anywhere else hed have gone? somewhere unexpected?"

you hated to admit that youd never thought to check somewhere he wouldn't typically go. why would he go somewhere youd be able to find him if he was hiding?

you hoped he was hiding, at least, and not mounted on someones wall or laying in the road like a stray cat.

"not to be that guy again, but," steve poked his head out of the passenger side window, "munson has to be the biggest virgin ive ever seen. dudes probably never even seen skull rock."

nancy smacked his arm, and he mumbled a hurried, "im just sayin'!" but he was right. you werent even sure if eddie knew how to get there, but there were no downsides to checking. steve made sure to add that, if eddie were to be a giant, burly, flesh-eating dog, skull rock would be an all-you-can-eat buffet on a friday night.

steve graduated the year prior, which made him essentially ancient on the hip spots to hang out in hawkins. no one went to skull rock anymore, especially since a group of people got busted there a few months ago, so you didnt have to worry about eddie possibly eating a horny teenager or two. you didnt tell steve, though. you couldnt break the news to him like that. robin could, though.

"no one hooks up at that stupid rock anymore, dingus," she slapped the side of his head from the backseat as nancy pulled onto the main road. they bickered the entire drive to the edge of town, and dustin, lucas, and mike snickered in the back about steves virgin comment. but you tuned them all out, watching the trees bleed into one another through the fogged window as the pop songs from the radio crackled between shards of broken static.

the sun had set by the time nancy pulled onto the shoulder of the road, nothing suspicious about that. nothing suspicious about the bag of bear traps that steve slung over his shoulder, either. "can never be too safe," he said. there was especially nothing suspicious about the trail of raw meat chunks that lucas and mike dropped behind them as the seven of you navigated your way through the woods. in front of them was nancy and max monitoring police radio interference, in front of them was steve and robin with a compass, and in front of them was you, shoulder to shoulder with your little brother.

dustin flickered his flashlight on either side of the uneven pathway as the two of you walked. it was silent aside from the crunching of leaves and twigs against the soles of your shoes, thick silence that was only broken by dustin quietly murmuring to you. he said, "steve was jealous when i started hanging out with eddie, too."

"i feel like its a little bit different for me," you breathed a laugh.

"meh," he shrugged, and the shallow beam of light moved with him, "kind of, but not really. cant help it that we hendersons are harrington magnets."

"what are you saying about me, henderson?" steve questioned from behind the two of you, kicking a rock into your path.

both you and dustin answered, "nothing," and exchanged knowing grins. yours was small and sly, but dustins was full and bright.

moments like this with dustin were rare for you, and it ached a little to say that the only thing that brought the two of you together was steve. it helped having a mutual friend and, even more so, friend group. youd always felt a little distant from dustin, so any time he willingly hung out with you felt paper thin, like if you stepped too hard youd fall right back to where you started.

so you looked at every gap in the stones before you stepped along the beaten path. the chatter of the group bounced from tree to tree behind you, dissipating into a muffled mess under the sounds of everyones shoes crushing dried leaves. behind you, every sound ceased except for robins voice calling, "i think we need to go right!"

of course, steve chimed in to correct her, "no, robin, i told you we need to go left."

"which means we should go right!" she retorted, and bickering ensued. you rolled your eyes, turning on your heels to face everyone.

"left or right," you asked, planting your arms at your side in defeat, "cut the shit, guys. we have to find eddie."

"find me for what?"

dustin screamed, causing you to scream, overlapping the staggering shouts from steve, robin, and nancy who were climbing into each others arms and covering the frightened curses the kids were spewing, clutching their chests at the back of the line. the voice came from the greenery, from steve and robins right for the record, and was comfortingly familiar once you came down from the initial scare.

"holy shit, eddie," you sighed, scrambling over the fallen tree along the side of the path to get to him. your hands basically melted onto his shoulders when they touched his skin, his warmth as present as ever as you fell into him. you couldnt care about the leaves in your eyes or the sticks prodding your hair, "youre okay, yeah?"

"well, im in a bush," eddie laughed, his hand cupping the back of your head as he stepped out into the pathway with you still wrapped tightly around him, "but, uh, yeah... yeah, im okay."

when you finally looked at him, you could tell he was tired. there was a weight beneath his eyes, sunken and dark, and he had bruises along his arms and cuts on his fingers and dirt streaked everywhere you could see. he gave you a smile, anyway. "hi," he whispered, just to you, tracing the slope of your jaw with the backs of his calloused fingers. you returned his kind eyes, muttering, "hi," through your smile.

"uh, hi," steve greeted, waving his hand a mere three feet from the two of you, "remember us?"

"oh, harrington, hey," eddie straightened up. you could tell he was immediately intimidated, his demeanor hardening as he cleared his throat, "nice to see you."

you snicked to yourself remembering not 24 hours ago, when eddie said with utmost confidence that he "didnt care if harrington kicked his ass," now weak in the knees at the sight of steve carrying around a sack of dangerous items.

eddie took a step back, "is that a gun?"

steve looked over his shoulder and spun around, grabbing it from behind him, "oh, yeah. sorry, i was prepared to shoot you, man."

"what the hell," eddie clasped his hands over the top of his head, visibly at a loss for words, "dude, have you never seen teen wolf?"

under different circumstances, you would have loved to see steve and eddie laughing together, getting along, but not in the woods in the middle of the night after youd spent the entire day searching for him. he didnt seem too shaken up about anything, so you were confused as to why he was out here.

nancy spoke for you, "eddie, is there a reason youre creeping around out here?"

he pressed his lips into a line, rocking on his heels and smacking the sides of his legs as he began to speak, "well, wheeler, if youre so curious, i was looking for y/n. im gonna assume youve been filled in on everything up to this point, and hendersons very thorough, so im also gonna assume it was unnecessarily detailed and vivid," everyone hummed in agreement, "great- so, imagine me, but cleaner and a little more upset than i currently am, wandering the streets of hawkins, a little tipsy because apparently alcohol is the only thing that keeps me from fucking biting people. im walking, trying to find the henderson residence, but ive only been there once so its hard, and my senses are off the walls heightened. its insane how much i can smell- cant lie, that shit's kind of awesome-"

dustin interrupted him, "eddie, did you kill someone or not?"

"kill someone?" eddies mouth hung open at the question, his eyes glancing around to gauge everyones reaction to the question, which was a unanimous answer-the-kid-or-steves-gonna-shoot-you, "uh, no, dustin, i didnt kill someone. im not a monster."

"well, then, why are you hiding away in the woods like a serial killer on the run?" lucas leaned up against a tree with his chin raised high, "seems kind of suspicious to me."

eddie sighed, swallowing audibly before answering, his voice lowered, hushed, "i wasnt hiding from you."

as if on command, an eerily familiar growl filled the distant silence like static, gutteral, and close. eddie flinched, almost habitually jumping back into the shrub you found him in, but reaching for your hand instead. steve immediately handed the shotgun to his left, planting it in nancys grip.

she raised her eyebrows, drilling holes into the side of your head with her glare. "told you," she muttered, holding out a fist towards max, who quickly reciprocated the gesture. a celebratory fist-bump for being stuck in the woods with a werewolf and a demogorgon.

"does, uh," steve started, his voice hushed and his grip tightened around his trusty baseball bat that he had shoved in the bag. he motioned between you and eddie, specifically, and asked,

"does teen wolf say anything about fighting demogorgons?"

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 -> @clemkruckinnie @trappedinaboxhelp @rvven @dixontardis @mitzirre @munsaniac @knowledgefulbutterfly @husherstan

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[juless27]

It Was Divine Chapter Five

i can't remember how i formatted these and im too lazy to find an old one so im gonna wing it

Read on AO3

She knew Slasher Saturday/Horror Film Friday was a bad idea, but Nancy Wheeler is nothing if not fearless. She could have done a serial killer, or a ghost, or even a demon, but Robin had chosen a monster movie. Robin had never seen a demogorgon, probably hadn’t even thought about it. Nancy hadn’t herself until the suspenseful music started up. Then its jaws opened and it ate the cheerleader in a shower of blood and Nancy found herself reaching to either side of her, looking for something to hold onto. Her right hand found a cushion and she hugged it to her, her left hand found Robin’s wrist, which she held tight enough to leave a mark. 

Robin pulled her arm back, and Nancy loosened her grip, expecting Robin to pull away completely, already ready for the sickening disappointment of it, the inevitability of having to be her own comfort. But she didn’t. Robin just moved until her hand was in Nancy’s and she held on tight, lacing their fingers together. Nancy kept her gaze on the tv, carefully observing Robin in her peripheral vision. Robin’s lips were pressed tightly together, her whole body taught. Nancy exhaled slowly. She was just frightened by the movie. 

Twenty minutes later, Nancy found herself pressed up against Robin’s side, finding way too much comfort in her body heat, their hands still linked, repeating it’s just a movie, it’s just a movie to herself. Robin puts her lips next to Nancy’s ear and she’s embarrassed when she jumps.

“Want me to turn it off?”

Nancy swallows, “No, it’s fine.”

“Seriously, I don’t mind. I’ll tell the guys it’s too scary for me.”

Nancy shook her head. She needed to conquer this like she did everything else. Her fear was just another mountain for her to climb, another cork board with too many red strings. 

“No, I’m okay. I want to watch it.”

Robin looked skeptical, but she nodded. She hesitated, and Nancy saw the indecision in her face before she let go of Nancy’s hand and shifted closer, wrapping her arm around Nancy’s shoulders. She pulled Nancy in, tucking her against her side. Nancy immediately relaxed into her, soothed by the sweet scent of honey that clung to the other girl. 

“Is this okay?” Nancy could feel Robin’s mouth move against her hair. She nodded. 

The movie went on and Nancy wasn’t as scared anymore. And if she tucked her face into Robin’s neck for one or two of the jump scares, who was to say? One of Robin’s hands came up to play with her hair, the way that Robin was always fidgeting with something, and Nancy knew she could fill entire journals on the way that made her feel. 

She glanced over at Steve, guilty for only remembering now to check on him, but he was pressed up against Eddie in the same way she was with Robin. His eyes were glued to the screen even as his face was hidden by Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie’s arm was around him, his other hand holding Steve’s. Nancy’s mind was immediately occupied by the new puzzle of their intimacy. Eddie caught her staring and winked. Nancy glanced away, cheeks reddening.

The movie ended, the final protagonist saving the damsel in distress and living happily ever after to have six kids and an RV or some other such bullshit. (Steve and her had since talked about the RV/I’m still in love with you speech and had both agreed that it was the emotions of the moment rather than a long standing sentiment). Robin got up, letting go of Nancy to change the tape. Nancy didn’t think she could do another horror movie, but she didn’t have to say anything. Robin put on Footloose. With a worried glance at Steve that Nancy did not miss, she took her place back between him and Nancy. Her hand resumed its place in Nancy’s hair and Nancy leaned back into her, grateful she didn’t have to give this up just yet.

They all jumped when the phone rang. 

“I’ll get it,” Robin volunteered, and jumped off the couch to answer it. They let Footloose play as they all watched her pick up the receiver and answer with a, “Hello, this is your conscious, what are the little voices in your head telling you today?”

Eddie laughed at that and Steve shook his head, “I keep telling her to stop doing that.”

Nancy tilted her head, “One time I called and she answered with ‘Robin’s roadside cafe, you kill it, we grill it.’”

“I gotta start doing that,” Eddie said.

“Nooo,” Steve groaned, “Not you too.”

“Woah, woah, Mayfield, slow down,” Robin turned to them, wrapping the phone cord around one finger, “An emergency, you say?” Steve immediately sat up. Nancy would think it was embarrassing how much he acted like the kids’ mother if she didn’t know how much most of them needed it. 

“You are in dire need of quarters to beat Dustin’s new high score on Dig Dug, you say?”

Steve sighed and relaxed, “These kids are gonna be the death of me.” “Yeah, yeah, we’ll be right there… Ok, ok…. Yes... No, we are not picking up slushies for you. .. Why? Because we are not your personal food delivery people. … Well, I also wish Steve had answered the phone… Ok, I love you, goodbye.”

She hung up, “Well, who’s up for a trip to the arcade?”

Steve drove. Robin thanked her lucky stars she didn’t have to clutch her stomach through another drive with Eddie behind the wheel. Eddie immediately called shotgun, but Robin bolted past him. He chased her down and tackled her, the two of them rolling across the lawn like puppies before scrambling to their feet to race again. Robin let him win, mostly because she realized halfway through that she could sit with Nancy in the back if she did. Maybe, if Robin was brave enough, Nancy would let her hold her hand. No, nevermind. That was just because she was scared of the movie. 

The drive to the arcade was quiet, all four of them unusually deep in thought. Robin let her hand rest on the seat between her and Nancy. Nancy just stared out the window. She tried not to be too disappointed by that, and made a mental note to check on the other girl the next time they were alone. 

“Hey, looks like the Byers are here,” Steve pointed out as he made a blinkerless turn into the arcade parking lot. 

Sure enough, they spotted Joyce, Jonathan, and Hopper once inside, as well as Jonathan’s weird Californian friend Argyle. Robin liked him. He always smelled like weed and she could never tell if he was high or just like that. Plus, he made her laugh.

Steve greeted Jonathan with a, “Byers!” and Nancy offered him an awkward-post-breakup smile and wave. He waved back, just as awkward. 

“Hi,” Robin said, “I’m Robin.”

Joyce smiled warmly, “We know, honey. Will’s told us all about you.”

“He has?” 

She nodded. Robin couldn’t hold back her smile. Will was a quiet kid, but he reminded her of herself when she was that age, so she always made an effort to reach out to him when they were in a group. 

“Robin! Robin, Robin, Robin!” Robin was then assaulted by 5 feet of a red headed skater. 

“Whoa, kid, slow down,” she said, steadying Max and laughing. 

Max held out her hand, “Quarters.”

“Well, a hello would be nice,” Robin grumbled, but she stuck her hand in her (technically Steve’s) jacket pocket to root around for stray coins. She deposited her findings into Max’s waiting hand. She immediately turned to Steve, “Harrington?”

“What?” he sputtered, “I’ve already made my contribution! Those are my quarters Robin gave you. Not to mention, I drove them here.”

Max just rolled her eyes and motioned to her open hand. Steve emptied his pockets. 

Robin laughed, glancing at Nancy, wanting to check she hadn’t been swallowed by the awkwardness between her and Jonathan. El came up to Hopper, asking in a much more polite way than Max, for some quarters. 

“Sorry, kid, you’ve bled me dry,” Hopper responded, looking genuinely sorry about it. 

“Here, El,” Nancy held out her hand, dropping some coins into El’s cupped palms. She looked back at Nancy with eyes so admiring Robin wanted to wrap her up like a baby bird. What a strange thought to have about someone you saw throw a car with their mind.

Without a goodbye, Max grabbed El’s hand and led her back into the maze of machines and dorky preteens. 

“Well, since we are here,” Steve said, “Who wants to partake in the great tradition of skee ball?”

“Absolutely not.” Nancy responded immediately. 

“What?” Steve teased, “I seem to remember you dominating at skee ball.”

“Yeah, and you never turn down a chance to win,” Jonathan added. 

“Is this how it’s gonna be now?” Nancy asked, “And anyway, I said no because I very much want to avoid any situation in which Robin has a weighted ball in her hand.”

“Yeah, that’s probably wise,” Robin admitted. 

Argyle made a slow humming-thinking noise, “Those things sure aren’t made out of rubber.” 

They all looked at him in complete confusion except Jonathan, who just sighed and agreed. 

“Wonder how much it’d hurt to get shmacked by one of those.”

“Shmacked?” Nancy asked. 

“Don’t even ask,” Jonathan said, “You don’t want to know.” Robin didn’t miss his glance towards El. 

“Alright, so no skee ball,” Steve conceded, “But I am not standing around here for another hour until they all inevitably need rides home.” 

Eddie turned towards them all slowly, a light in his eyes that truly, honestly scared Robin. 

“Who wants to go on an adventure?”

It took the longest to convince Nancy, but eventually they all agreed. Steve told Max and Dustin that he would be back for them, and anyone else who needed a ride, in about an hour. He waved at Joyce and Hopper as he passed them on his way out, Hopper nodded in return and Joyce waved back with a look on her face that was somehow happy and sad at the same time. 

He met the rest of the group outside, taking a moment to reconcile Robin and Eddie standing next to Nancy and Jonathan and Jonathan’s friend Argyle standing behind them, head tipped back and eyes at the sky. 

Steve gestured to Argyle, “What’s he doing?”

Jonathan glanced at Argyle and then back at Steve, “Who knows? He’s high as fuck.”

“Well, I want some of whatever he’s on,” Eddie said. 

“Purple palm tree delight, my friend,” Argyle chimed in, eyes still on the sky. 

“Ah, my friends,” Eddie stepped backward toward Argyle and threw a friendly arm over his shoulders, “I know what kind of adventure we are going on.”

“Someone needs to stay sober to drive,” Robin pointed out, “Who’s gonna be sober sister?” Nancy snorted, “Sober sister?”

“It’s, like, a sorority girl thing,” Robin said. 

“Yeah, I know,” Nancy said, eyes sparkling like she was laughing, “And, anyway, I’ll do it. Weed gives me panic attacks.”

Eddie looked at her in horror, “Damn, Wheeler, that sucks.”

Nancy shrugged. 

“Actually,” Steve said slowly, “I’m not sure I’m gonna participate either.”

Robin met his eyes, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Who do you work for? Long hallways, big elevator, Back to the Future, bathroom. Robin. Oh. Yeah, oh. Steve hadn’t exactly stayed sober since that night, but he also didn’t experiment with anything he hadn’t already tried before. Alcohol was fine, he knew his limits. Weed usually was, too. But Purple Palm Tree Delight from a guy he had barely known for two weeks? A guy who was currently trying to drink the sky through a bendy straw like it was a milkshake? Yeah, no. 

He had a silent conversation with Robin about it. 

You okay?

Yeah. 

Want to leave?

No. You gonna smoke?

Maybe. 

Do it if you want to. I’ll take care of you. 

I know. 

“Okay, what just happened?”

Steve looked away from Robin and focused on Jonathan. “What do you mean?”

“That,” he said, gesturing between him and Robin. Steve got ready for the Platonic with a capital P speech. 

“You just, like, had a whole conversation,” Jonathan continued. 

“Oh, yeah,” Nancy said, “They do that. You get used to it.” She shrugged. 

“Are you guys telepathic or something?”

“Nah,” Steve said, “Just really good friends.”

“Best friends, some would say,” Robin said, clasping her hands behind her back and rolling up on her toes. 

“Some,” Steve agreed. 

“C’mon, Steve, how many times do I have to say it? I’m sorry I told Eddie and then I didn’t tell you that I told Eddie.”

Argyle laughed a little, “What?”

“It’s too late, Robin. I’ve already filled the best friend position,” He swung an arm loosely around Nancy’s shoulders. 

Nancy glanced up at him and for just a second it was so familiar it knocked the air out of him. Sixteen year old Nancy looked at him from under his arm with those big eyes and then he blinked and present Nancy was there again. 

“You can have more than one best friend, you know,” she said. 

Steve did not miss the smile that bloomed on Robin’s face. He looked between her and Nancy. Once. Twice. 

Then he locked eyes with Robin. He saw the moment she realized he knew. Saw the surprise and then the fear that entered her eyes. 

“Are you..?” He asked, out loud. 

“No!” Robin protested immediately. 

Steve raised his eyebrows.

“Okay, maybe,” a pause, “Yes.” Her voice was quiet now. 

“Oh my god,” Steve said, “Oh. My. God.”

He removed his arm from Nancy’s shoulders and crossed the space between him and Robin in two long strides. He took her by the shoulders. 

“Oh. My. God.” Steve shook her with every word. 

Robin looked at him with wide blue eyes, scanning his face. 

“Are you mad?”

“Mad? No, I’m not mad. This is…” Steve trailed off, “We gotta go.”

“What?” Nancy and Eddie both protested, but neither Steve nor Robin paid them any attention. 

“Okay,” Robin responded, like she always did when he asked for something. “What about the kids?”

“I’ll come back for them,” Steve said, “They’ll be fine.”

“And what about us?” Eddie asked. 

“I’ll come back for you, too. Or I can drive you home now.”

“That’s not what I meant. What about the adventure? Purple palm tree delight?”

“We’ll do it another night,” Robin promised.

“Wait, why are you leaving?” Nancy asked. 

“There’s just something we gotta deal with,” Robin told her, “Some… wires we gotta uncross.”

Steve was still holding her by the shoulders. Still hadn’t looked away from her. 

Looks like it was finally time for that crisis.

[arkhamknightz]

bullshit.

↳ in which, you cant seem to get away from that horrible night (vol 2 spoilers kinda)

pronouns: they/them

warnings: angst!! horrible written angst !! character death (kinda like halfway), season 4 spoilers, steve heartbreak (sorry), descriptions of injuries (burns, blood, etc.) a lot of writing its very all over the place but it somewhat works, drunk parent, fight, implications of divorced parents, stranger things vol 2 refrences/spoilers (sorry max lovers for this one..)

notes: i was watching stancy breakup scene on loop and wanted to put steve in her position!! also ive put this on hold for what feels like weeks so that is my bad

steve had decided to drag you along to tina’s halloween party. there were more sweaty bodies and red solo cups than you could count. you had no idea how much steve had to drink that night but when you found him he was stumbling around the room, talking to anyone he could grab the attention of.

you had noticed him become distant at the party. like something had drawn him to stay away from you.

you watched as he went to grab a new cup. “no no no, steve you’ve had enough come on” he pulled away from you. “get off me” “no steve you’ve had enough for tonight.” he dripped the cup into the punch and held it tight as you tried to pull it away from him. “no ste-” “let go of the cup” steve jerked it out of your hands, spilling it all over his shirt.

the people around let out an ‘ooooh’, watching as steve stormed upstairs with you close on his tail. you followed him into the bathroom and watched as he took a towel, trying to clean up the shirt he’d been wearing. “steve- steve im sorry.” you watched as he kept gripping onto the bottom of his shirt, trying to wipe off the stain. “thats not coming off steve.” you let out a sigh as he kept trying. “its coming.”

“hey hey, why dont we just go home oka? ill drive you and ill do your laundry come on im sorry lo-.” “you wanted this!” you looked at him puzzled. “no steve, no i didnt want this i told you to stop drinking.” “its bullshit!” “no steve its not bullshit come on.” “its. its bullshit”

you shook your head looking at steve. “steve come on its not bullsh-” “i mean you! youre. bullshit.” your face fell. “what…?” you felt your heart drop to your stomach. he continued on, “youre pretending like everythings okay! you know like, like barb didnt die at the pool party!” you looked at him in disbelief.

“like like its great, like were in love and were partying. yeah lets party huh? party were partying. its its bullshit!” like were in love.

you felt lightheaded. everything around you started to feel bigger. you felt small in the bathroom with him. “like were in love?” you whispered.

he spat the sentence out at you. the words feeling like venom on your skin. “its bullshit.” “you dont love me steve?” he repeated that same sentence to you. “its bullshit.” you sat down on the edge of the bathtub. suddenly feeling dizzy. steve went back to trying to rub the punch stain off his shirt and you got up, storming out the room. being there with him began to feel suffocating.

your mind raced a million miles per minute ad you walked downstairs. ‘did your relationship really mean nothing to him? maybe everyone was right. maybe steve harrington was the same selfish asshole everyone had told you about.’

you and steve ended up breaking up shortly after that night of the party. he woke up late with a headache and had missed first period. you werent in bed with him when he woke up and he knew something was wrong.

he pulled you out of your p.e class and inbetween some of the buildings. “where were you? i missed my first period class.” “well you made it to school didnt you?” steve was taken back by your response, “what are you talking about?” “jesus steve, you and your alcohol huh?” steve was silent. he knew he drank a lot but what did that have to do with why you were angry?

“you remember going to tinas party last night?” “yeah, why wouldnt i?” “okay and them what happened?” you questioned him, “i remember talking to a bunch of people, dancing, spilling some punch, you got mad at me because i was drunk- and then you took me home.” you laughed bitterly.

“yeah you see, thats where your mind gets a little fuzzy because i never took you home.” “what?” “pretty simple steve. apparently were pretending like everythings okay, and i dont care because im bullshit, and our whole relationship is bullshit! and im pretty much just bullshit bullshit bullshit. oh yeah also! you dont love me.”

steve quickly responded, “i was drunk! i dont remember any of that.” “so that makes everything you said to me bullshit too?” “yes! come on ba-” “then tell me.” steve looked at you confused. “tell you what?”

“you love me.”

steve looked at you puzzled. “really?” one of your classmates had barged out the doors, quickly yelling at you to hurry up and get back inside. you took a look at steve and waited. steve had stared right back at you. completely silent. you looked at steve and scoffed. “your the bullshit one steve.”

you walked back into class. hot tears running down your face. you took a glance behind you and steve had been staring at the floor. you shook your head and walked back into the gym. that was the last time you saw steve that year.

•••

“alright my turn. have you ever been in love?” steve had taken a moment to think. “yeah, um. y/n y/l/n. first semester senior year” he mimicked a gun noise. “oh my god. theyre such an asshole” “no. not at all, that was um. that was my fault actually, that they were like that” he sighed. “are you still in love with them?” “yeah. actually” “what happened?” steve sighed.

“i um, i got really drunk at tina’s halloween party that year. i told them our relationship was bullshit and i quote “like were in love and were partying. its bullshit!” robin made a face. “yeah no thats totally your fault. why didnt you say anything to them after?” “i couldnt. i pulled them aside during their p.e class. they told me everything and i said it wasnt true. they asked me to tell them i loved them and i just- i couldnt robin.”

“and whys that?” steve sat and thought for a moment. “im not sure, maybe its because i was scared, or maybe i just didnt know if i did.” “why would you be scared if you loved them?” steve let out a laugh. “because of the type of person they were. i was an asshole and they were so.. unapologetically them. it was hard to wrap my head around the fact that someone like them could love some guy like me”

robin sat for a second. “hey steve?” “yeah robin?” she quickly slid under to his stall. “the floors disgusting robin.” “tell them.” “huh? tell who the floors disgusting?” “no dumbass. if we make it out of here i think you should tell them you still love them.” steve smiled at her sadly. “i think i might be too late for that.”

•••

your headache had grown so painful you had to get off work. the loud sound of clock chimes in your ears becoming so painful you had to pull over before fully making it home. nightmares of what happened at the mall and what happened at that halloween party during senior year swarming your mind.

after hearing about the mall fire and hearing about steve being there so late after closing had you worried. it took everything in you to not drive over to starcourt mall yourself and check on him. ‘i guess they were right. you really never do get over your first love, huh?’

graphic images of steve being injured swarmed through your head. your nightmares rarely ended the same. most ending with a big fight or him not ever making it out alive.

so when you had gotten out your car and saw steve on your front porch, you were more than surprised. you looked at him puzzled as he got up and walked over to you. “hey.” you scoffed. “really? hey is all you’ve got harrington?” steve rolled his eyes. “no need for the attitude. i came up here to tell you breaking up with you and dating you out of pity was the best thing ive ever done!”

you felt your heart drop. “what?” part of you had hoped he came back to apologize, he was your first love and seeing him around town felt like absolute torture. you scoffed, sadness quickly turning to annoyance. “listen steve i really could ca-” when you looked up at him you saw his skin completely burnt, just like he had in some of your nightmares.

he was completely covered in burn marks and blood, his eyes red and full of tears. “why didnt you come help?” you heard his voice crack. “i didnt think you wanted to see me.” “i didnt. you never cared about me huh? you never wanted to see me because you never cared. because you knew i didnt.” tears started pouring down your cheeks. “god what is wrong with you steve? whats gotten into you?”

“y/nnnnn” you heard your name being dragged out by a voice behind you. “your time is up. its time for your suffering to end.”

•••

steve had rushed out of the school. “hey hey steve where are you going!” dustin had questioned. “y/n their- their file i dont know why they have one but i need to see them. like right now” dustin tilted his head, confused. the rest of the group standing behind him. “i dont know okay! y/n has a file in mrs kellys office and.. its the same as maxs’. the headaches the nightmares everything. its all my fault.” steve had swiftly unlocked his car, everyone else piling into the seats.

“what do you mean its your fault i thought you guys havent spoken since senior year? why would they have a file with mrs kelly anyways!”

steve slammed his hand onto the wheel. “thats the issue! we havent spoken since senior year. they knew i worked at scoops i would hide in the back everytime they came in for ice cream, but i knew they saw me. the last thing they remember me saying was our entire relationship was bullshit. i was the only one they opened up to about their parents, i was their first boyfriend, it was always me dustin!”

steve let out a sigh. “just- just look at the file.”

max had grabbed the file from steves hands, skimming over it. she looked up at him with sad eyes. “steve this isnt-” “max please dont say its not my fault i know damn well it is.”

y/n y/l/n.

your headaches had started 5 days ago. right in line with chrissy and freds. you were expirencing frequent nose bleeds. nights worth of nightmares scribbled onto the paper. there was always a common theme, steve was there.

“hey y/n! long time no see um, how may i help you?” you sadly smiled at the counselor. “i was just wondering if we could talk? im sorry i just didnt know who else to go to and-”. she laid a hand on your shoulder. “of course, please come in.” …

“so.. these nightmares. what are they about?” you took a deep breath. “um. a lot about my parents. but a lot about my ex boyfriend aswell.” she had known about your parents separating. and she was more than aware of your breakup with steve. they had both taken a major toll on you during senior year. “are you okay telling me what happens in these nightmares youve been having?”

you slowly nodded. she started writing on her notepad as you kept talking. jotting down little details as you went. “blood, mall fire, steve, seeing him injured, your parents fighting, self doubt.” one had stood out the most, a paragraph, one repeatedly referenced in the notes.

•••

you were in your bedroom. a week after the party had gone down. your father had drunkenly stumbled into your room. “still moping over that harrington boy huh?” you wiped your eyes and looked up at him. “do you need something?” “maybe theres a reason he didnt love you, you know?” you looked at him confused. “im sorry.. what?” you choked on your tears for a second. “maybe you just cant be loved, y/n.” he swiftly walked away from your bedroom door.

•••

by the time steve had arrived at your house, he felt something was wrong. the lights inside your house were flickering and your door had been left wide open.

he got out of the car and ran into your house, seeing you mid-air in your living room. a sob escaped his lips as he watched your arm fold back. the sight exactly what eddie had explained. he watched as your body fell. pulling you in and holding you in his arms. both your legs had snapped and your left arm had been bent backwards. you quickly panicked “who- whos there why cant i feel anything i cant see” you let out a cry.

steve held you. “shhhh shh baby its okay your gonna be okay-” steve choked on a sob. “dustin i need you to call an ambulance” you furrowed your eyebrows as best as you could. “steve- is that you why cant i see anything” “yeah- yeah its me its okay you’re gonna be alright i promise you” “why- why are you here what happened who else is here someone tell me whats going on”- your voice had gotten quieter, and your eyes had started to droop closed. “hey hey stay awake okay? its me dustin max lucas robin and nancy you’re gonna be okay please just stay awake.”

he felt your body go limp in his arms, your breathing slowing down. he could hear sirens in the distance. his body filled with panic. “hey hey dont close your eyes on me come on please please just stay awake for me” he watched as you softly smiled at him. “you dont hate me anymore?” he chuckled softly, tears running down his face. “i never hated you sweetheart, i need you to stay awake for me okay? just a few more seconds do you think you can do that for me?” you tried to nod as best as you could. the sirens growing louder and the sound of doors opening outside.

the faint sound of “i love you” filling your ears before everything went dark.

[getitoffyourchestofficial]

hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)

you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control

(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)

im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow

todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)

Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.

And idk if you want it but here's a tea

☕

[coldvampire]

on nines' wiki for fic stuff, have some copy-paste of me going Feral about him and kat in discord

crying thinking abt how genuinely kat will compliment her man & how inadvertantly Serious she gets bc she really does sincerely mean it & it would be easier to process if she was actually doing it to fluster him but no sometimes she just gets into a certain mood

also the idea of her like hgjhkj absolutely backing him 100% when other barons push back on shit like this, knowing that her reputation is in a very strange place where too much will be seen as in poor form but not really caring bc she knows how to exude enough bad vibes to get people to shut up lmao. his coterie might feel the same as she does but they dont have the same effect on audiences, the ventrue aura of 'listen to me or Else' comes in handy and he gfhjk doesnt quite know how to feel abt it being used for him lmao

she does love how much he cares tho,,, its a very sexy quality its not smth shes used to. she might not completely Agree with him all the time but the way she completely trusts him overrides that so it doesnt actually Matter. & i think she also sort of uses that as a better moral compass than the one thats been trained into her, like inherently she sees herself as a semi-bad person bc of how shes able to detach from certain decisions and thats just not how he operates & she has a lot of respect for that (& probably also misses the fact that if we're comparing traumas hers are a lot more. uh. Direct lmfao.)

also god love her but she is Not a Car Girl TM. she will sit there in the garage trying her hardest to follow along & ask questions but rly truly, she has no idea wtf he is saying to her. she recognizes that he is talking about parts and seems Excited & shes just glad it requires minimal thought on her end beyond very basic open ended questions. im pretty sure he thinks she understands a Lot more about mechanical stuff than she actually does bc shes very good at picking out important words and repeating them gfhjjfdgfhg shes not TRYING to bullshit interest she just doesnt have the heart to tell him she have 0 comprehension of anything he said just now. he is so stressed so much she wants him to be happy & relaxed whenever theres an opportunity for it :(

also he listens to her interests gfhgjh even if theyre significantly less technical lmao. she likes dissecting the manufactured drama & relationships of reality tv and stuff like that bc it reminds her of a Much lower stakes version of kindred politics & the pettiness is entertaining to her. he also gets to hold her while they watch on the couch or in bed while she goes & picks apart all of the 'fighting' and production tampering & he loves hearing her talk in general but its kind of fascinating to him how she can take something so shallow & dissect it, loves how Perceptive she is when it comes to people in particular. i think sometimes if she's maybe squirming a bit much or maybe if he just feels like it he'll offer to paint her nails. she's really on top of keeping up a manicure but doesnt always do acrylics & i think he would actually get fairly into the fact that 1. its essentially just Hand Holding for a reason and 2. it requires a decently steady hand & attention to detail so it doesnt get messed up and as someone who restores bikes with tiny intricate mechanical parts, hes surprisingly well suited to this. i bet he would do little designs too if he had the tools for it. it just feels good to do something for her :')

she knows jewellery even if she doesnt know fuck all about mechanics. firmly believe she just buys him stuff all the time & shes stupidly good at nailing what someone's preferred style is. like i dont think hes ever had someone who just casually gets so many things bc 'i saw this and thought of you' and again acts like its nbd??? because it is?? shes like yeah ofc why Wouldnt i? & tbh i dont even think that the gifts stop with him either once the rest of his coterie realizes shes cool and not a camarilla mole lmao they also start getting little things. jewellery keychains shirts Whatever, all usually just dropped into their hands mid-conversation with very little acknowledgment from her. if you mention youve had your eye on a bracelet or smth she'll just grab it without thinking. if Really pressed she'll probably brush it off as 'i wasnt spending my money anyway' (girl likes to take cash when she feeds from the wealthier Reverse Orphans TM especially if theyre also cheating gfhjhj) but rly. she just enjoys making people happy, which is also something her adores about her. its the casual way its just ingrained into her personality & how she doesnt make a huge deal about it, its just how she is.

ofc he always makes sure to take care of her back, she clearly expresses affection in gift giving and acts of service but she likes quality time & physical touch for herself. which is absolutely okay by his book, he was never even close to being as touch starved as she was at any point whereas she went literal Years without being touched in some way that wasnt negative or hurtful in some form. its overwhelming for her initially & she doesnt really know how to Ask for contact but by god she gets it through him. he's always loved holding her; she just seems to tuck in Perfectly into his arms. if she's maybe getting too overwhelmed with that then he's also good to switch gears to maybe just having a hand on her back or leg or holding her hand bc there's a period right when they first officially get together where she's still trying to level herself out after so much isolation. & he's such a constant reassuring presence, it almost doesn't feel real.

tbh if he wasn't as stable as he was im not sure she would have been able to heal properly after killing her sire, she had spent so long tethered to that man and shaping her life around running from him that she didnt quite know what to Do with herself when he was gone. nines didnt explicitly provide a 'purpose' for her life, he just gave her a place to rest and recuperate while she figured herself out and started to understand the fact that she was finally safe. & that's another thing, her sire might have been a genuine threat to the point she didnt want to risk his safety, but everything else? i doubt there would be any stopping his protection instincts. sometimes thats a concern to her, but again, she needed to be with someone who would be able to be that type of support & strength while she finally released literal decades of repressed trauma & a constant fight or flight state. he cant protect her from her own mind, but he can put a stop to any outside threats. she's never had that. he might have been abandoned by a ton of people in his life, but she would have taken that over the active harm/passive allowance of harm. understanding that, to him, she is someone worth protecting? its a wild learning curve.

im also sure theres some angst to be found in his history of being abandoned + her former commitment fear that evolved into the constant need to Be Around Him but also consider: the amount of comfort he would finally have knowing theres a 99% chance if theyre at home he just has to walk into the next room to see her (assuming she isnt already closer) & how she openly admits to wanting him on all levels, like shes not just gonna be someone else who walks out of his life. absolutely her favourite spot in the world is curls up beside him, like thats where she considers Home to be and ohh man. i think that just stirs smth up in him internally. ofc he cares about a lot of people and a lot of people care about him back but this is Different. in retrospect, knowing what she went through just to be able to sit here with him? even though there was a chance she would be rejected for not being transparent with her situation prior & never fully committing (even if she otherwise would have)? knowing he might be Too Hurt to let her back in and trying it anyway & letting him take the lead on the pacing and decide what it was He needed, that's insane. but she wanted to be with him so badly it was a risk she was willing to take on, which is telling bc her whole thing was caution to the point of being detrimental to herself.

it's like,,, he knows how it feels to have followers. but just like he did with her, she was able to peel back layers and layers of public-facing personality traits & see who he was in the privacy of his own home, and Still wanted him. imo even though he knows how to command a room, he's still not 100% positive what it is about Him Specifically that makes him so special to everyone else aside form being the guy who was in the right place at the right time to make a reputation for himself. but she's like. the one person where he actually feels like he maybe understand why she looks at him that way, & its still a nebulous feeling, but its more Concrete than what he gets from starry-eyed fledglings. kat is not and has never been someone who gives people more credit than they deserve or who blindly follows people. she's harsh and she has to have a Reason to do that.

if theres ever a situation where she has to drink blood outside of her restriction, you know he's gonna be the one to take care of her. she's not a fan of it, she's in pain and she feels gross and doesn't want him to Watch the whole episode, but why would he be put off by it? they both came from big families with plenty of kids, the threshold for being grossed out by that stuff is really goddamn high for them both lmao. also she looks completely Miserable curled up on the floor like that, if she needs someone to hold her hair and rub her back a bit then okay! she will have that its what she deserves! she's gonna resist a little at first bc she was always the one doing that for her sisters being the oldest with no mother/mother figure for most of their lives but like with a lot of stuff he does, she will relax and melt into the touch after a bit and start to physically decompress. if she's up for up she will also be carried to whichever soft surface she desires, no questions asked.

theyre so domestic it Hurts. fully believe the only actual regret she has about the relationship is missing the boat on them both being human & getting to live that normal suburban family life bc she know she would have completely abandoned her Rich Husband goals & it would have been fine in the end + her dad would have loved him. theres a very deep part of her psyche with a list of names that would have sounded fantastic for theoretical children like fdgfhgjh god. she is so far gone for him, 'vampires dont love' my ASS. not to be cheesy but he's It for her, even when theyre in a rough spot she literally cannot imagine being around anyone else or giving herself to someone so fully like that and trusting that they won't use that against her or shatter her heart in the process.

i just gfsfdhgfrwhgqsahxgfghgfejgwdshhjgrf theyre so in love. SO in love.

[swankyangles]

rules: 🎵 when you get this, list 5 songs you've been listening to. tag 5-10 followers to do the same 🎵 tagged by @confield 😈😈

Oh! I can do that that's easy! @confield I'm so glad I put you on to them! They're literally like, my favorite band ever!

The Minutemen - Joe McCarthy's Ghost 👻 GOOD luck getting that bass-line out of your head. Those lyrics are pretty damn sticky too. At 1:11 long, I recommend listening to this one roughly 3 times on repeat. I've been listening to their whole discography on repeat actually, and it's crazy how noone sounds like them still.

Beck - When the Water will take back the Land - (loud harmonica warning) folk song about the apocalypse that you never knew you needed. There are literally HOURS of recordings made by Beck in the late 80s early 90s that have never been commercially released. Some REAL fucking gold in there, also a lot of shit, but that's easy to avoid. This one's p great, but not my very fav.

SRSQ -Permission . She's singing about waiting to get permission to do anything from her longtime musical partner who died in a warehouse fire. 😩this song fucking haunts me.

Jimmy Newman "Let Me Stay in your Arms" There are 2 versions of this song and the later one he did after he fixed his teeth is total bullshit. There's no heart, there's no endearing human flaw. The "lispy" version is everything to me. He's very young, he has something to prove. He's full of passion and piss and vinegar, and by God, this swamp-billy sings his fucking balls off. I have a clean copy of the original DOT recording from 1950 on 45 in a vault at a secure location. Here's a yt vid for your convenience

GOAT - Let it Burn. This song is fun and the timbres and tones are p f'n neato. FUCK YEAH DOOM RECORDER SOLO! I love Acid rock and Heavy Psychedelic, but decent stuff seems so hard to find. Someone once tried to tell me that king gizzard was "good psyc". I punched that hippie right in the throat. Knocked that wook clean out his rot-black Birkenstocks. How dare he...HOW DARE HE.

I was supposed to reblog this back in march

Whoops.

Im gonna tag, uhhhh... @alliswyattonthewesternfront @abrahamshipwreck @therazgar @wetterroomba @dessert-orb-blog

[woomycritiques543]

Hi, how are you today?

So I saw a thread of tweets that Viv liked which made me think that we’re likely not going to get a follow-up to the events in Ozzie’s for Stolitz.

Another note: I’m a lil annoyed with how obvious Viv makes it apparent that she sides with the people defending her writing.

What are you thoughts on this?

(TW RAPE MENTION, also please cover the names next time and I will reupload this without names if this is to be edited out!)

It's just bullshit with people shoving their headcannons as a way to try to justify the fact that Stolas is exploiting and r^ping Blitz with propaganda such as "comfortable" or "messy"- trying to act as if this relationship is 100% more stable than it actually is. Also "sick of Blitz's shit" HE WAS ABLE TO TURN INTO A GODDAMN GIANT BIRD, CAN FREEZE PEOPLE WITH HIS EYES and did it all without the book! He's been harsh towards him, he didnt even "call him out" he just used Blitz having a anxiety attack as a chance to take advantage of him physically with Blitz taking it, as usual, since he has "no choice" due to the book deal. Which makes the scene sexual harassment! It's disgusting, this entire post is as disconnected from the actual episode you can get!

This is just another case of Vivziepop liking any posts that validate her show's flaws and ignores the criticisms themselves despite having her employees claim that critics are "glass jawed!" and having one of her employees outright bully the so called "haters", one of those times being a "hater" that was a literal child!

Also- in the episode Stolas says "BLITZO" not "BLITZ!" He says "O" out of disrespect because of Blitz being an imp, the very species he exploits! He doesnt respect Blitz here and Blitz doesnt respect him. This isnt them "growing to be more comfortable with each other" it's Blitz being forced into entertaining someone who's exploiting him that can easily have made an excuse to leave and find Via while Blitz performs- done! A coffee break, bathroom, something!

Some kind of excuse to get to Via that he could have easily used instead of taking advantage of Blitz! Instead, he sits there for hours, and what makes it worse is that at the end of the episode both Blitz and Stolas tried to leave without Via, and Stolas only feels bad but doesnt even try to insist on apologizing for what he did- he just takes Via's toxicly leniant apology so he could, like in Ep 2, repeat the same behavior in the future with little to no change. Then again- what do you expect to read from a writer who mistreats her own employees, in real life, and doesnt hold herself accountable for it?

That's all I can say on that one since im still on break- chao! (Also, I reccomend reading the transscripts because they really give you an idea of just how awful Helluva Boss's writing is without all the "glittery🪩unicorn ✨" animation on top of it.)

[technodromes]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN !!!

NAME. Sabine/Saby

PRONOUNS. she/her

BEST EXPERIENCE. I had many good experiences, I couldn't just name one without feeling like I don't do the others justice by not mentioning them as well. And while my memories of being part of tumblr multi-fandom rpc's are somewhat bittersweet now, but I wouldn't be here writing if a friend didn't convince me into it back then.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION. I definitely prefer to plot and discuss ooc things on discord. tumblr's IM's are fine for quick small things and to get to know each other for a bit before exchanging discord, but I find the small chat window impractical for in-depth discussions.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE. Krang. He was my blob boy back then and he still is the main character on this blog for me. As a multimuse, my moods and interests may shift around, but there's always room for Krang if I'm here to post around.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS. On tumblr, it's about 10 years? Maybe 11? I have no concept of time tbh. I wrote already on a different site before, which is about 17 years ago, but it was all in german. With that plenty of experience you'd think I'd know better than to repeat certain mistakes over and over but alas

RP PET PEEVES. Definitely anything drama-related. Coming on my blog to have fun and seeing someone declare war on someone else ooc on my dash without any tags on it is a huge turn-off for me and often ruins my own mood. In that same vein, I can't stand callout culture. Forcing people into a 'me or them' situation because you don't like that person they rp with, is bullshit. Ask them to tag their blog and blacklist the tag, problem solved. I want to unwind here and have fun in my little sandbox, not to become the president of the united states. Also, vague posting and the inability of people to talk about their issues? If you have a problem with a partner, talk to them?? How people prefer to vague-rant about their partners over actually trying to solve the problem, while actively doing a hobby that requires writing with other people is honestly beyond me? If you can't handle the stress of writing with people, then why do you engage in a writing hobby with said other people? Note here, I prefer people come forward to me if I did something wrong, even though I have severe social anxiety myself. Partners talking to me about shit I did is a LOT of stress to me, but I don't just block and run. I listen and I acknowledge it. And I try to do better. I can only learn to righten mistakes and get better at handling my social anxieties when I actually deal with it instead of running away. It's not rocket science. Does my pulse race and I get all sweaty and uncomfortable? Yes. But I feel a lot better having a problem solved afterward than having it linger around forever and the constant trash-talking behind each other's back like pre-schoolers.

PLOTS OR MEMES. Both? Both is good. There have been instances where I received prompts that left me a little clueless on what to do with them, and in other instances, I wrote up a whole starter for a potential fun plot from a received prompt alone. Memes can lead to interesting situations and are good ice-breakers. The trick is to pick the right muse/s and the right prompt. It's definitely a hit or miss, but I DO like prompt memes. Plotting helps to solidify the chemistry between the muses through it all and to not suddenly run into a dead-end. How a muse will react to option A or option B, where they actually are, and if there will be any potential NPC. But I'm not into plotting things out from A to Z. There are always variables and it sucks to run into a situation in the plot that actually feels out of character for your muse to do, just to keep the plot going. It takes the fun out of writing a story for me. I like to have a little freedom in a moderately plotted thread. It helps to just talk about the muses with a partner, to find a common ground. Maybe both muses mourn about losing a beloved one, both muses have lost everything and need to rebuild themselves up from the ground. I don't like people coming to me and ask me right away if I have 'any ideas for a plot'. My brain usually goes into static mode right away. I prefer people just asking about my muses or telling me about theirs to hit off with a plot.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES.  Definitely long to medium in length. I don't mind short, light-hearted shenanigans to get in the writing mood, but they usually get on the longer side very fast lmao. I just like to set the mood and describe my muse's processings, but it is also important to me to include my partner's muse into it. So it gets inevitably long very fast. I don't expect my partners to match length. But if a reply feels very lackluster with many errors and little content to work with, I am likely to ask for a change or ask to drop it if the mood for it seems gone.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES? Not really. I mean, there are bits and pieces that resonate with me. Like Shredder's anger. I won't lie, I am a very spiteful little goblin and I can get angry about anything and everything. I am not as vengeful tho, I let go of things that pissed me off eventually. I am also very insecure about myself and the things I do, so I can relate to Krang's hidden insecurities. It's really more about relating to them than really seeing myself in them in any way or capacity tho.

TAGGED BY: @dynamoprotocol