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ananke-xiii · 4 months

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“Regarding Dean” is an okay episode, the perfect episode to place between “Lily Sunder has Some Regrets” and “Stuck in the Middle with You”. It feels filler-y but it’s totally not because it shows us where Sam and Dean stand as far as s12 main themes are concerned: family&love.

To the surprise of probably nobody, we find out that Sam is struggling a lot when it comes to how he positions himself within his family and around the people he loves. Dean, on the other hand, is walking on a much safer ground (which seems like a joke since the ep is literally about Dean slowly losing his memory but I’ll get there), he’s ready to move on to the next chapter of his life, a chapter where his relationship with his brother is not his only&main focus.

Who are the other members of Sam and Dean’s family? This episode tells us it’s Mary and Cas. Even though, so far in the season, Mary has come and gone, Cas has spent a considerable amount of time with none other than Crowley and the brothers have spent a couple of months in prison, the episode explicitly highlights multiple times that Mary and Cas are their family, no matter the amount of time they all actually spend together: what matters is the infamous bond between them.

And who’s feeding this bond? Who’s actually keeping in touch with Mary and Cas? Who’s the primary point of contact? Dean, of course. At the beginning of the episode, when Sam meets Dean at the waffle joint and realizes Dean is maybe drunk and his smartphone is dead, he says: “All right, well, I'll text Mom, make sure she knows to get a hold of me in case of emergency. And Cas, in case he tracks down Kelly”.

So it’s safe to say (and it is because we’ve already seen in past episodes that Sam is definitely not the one playing games and texting with Mary, nor the one calling Cas or receiving calls from him: people in this family know who to contact and it’s not Sam) that Sam is somehow detached from this family dynamic and, we’ll later discover, doesn’t really know what to make of this.

After Sam discovers that Dean is not hangover but hexed, the first thing Dean says is: “Look, we could figure this out, okay? Don't go callin' Mom or Cas with this”. Mmmm, interesting. We’re back to Mary and Cas. Again. And why shouldn’t Sam call them? And, maybe more importantly, why Sam doesn’t call them anyway? So maaany questions :P

The last time Mary and Cas are mentioned together again is in the mirror scene. Dean is regarding himself in the bathroom mirror, trying to remember who he is and he defines himself as follows: “Ahh. Okay. My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom. And Cast—Cas is my best friend”. So Dean defines himself based on his relationship with the different family members: brother, son, best friend. Once he starts forgetting who these people are he also starts forgetting himself:

“My name is Dean Wi—Winchester.

My name—My name is...

My... My... I don’t know”.

This is crucial. The scene is quite tragic but it’s telling us an important truth: what matters to Dean, what’s important to him to the point that it defines who he is, is his relationship with his family, with the people he loves. I said that it’s quite tragic because, at least to me, it’s a bit bleak that Dean doesn’t know who he is without other people. But I’ll come back to this point later.

So who is Dean? The reply comes right after the mirror scene from Rowena’s mouth: “Oh, you're a killer, Dean Winchester”. And this is super interesting because just before we had this dialogue:

Rowena: You can really remember nothing, can you? What a gift not to recall the things you've done.

Dean: What have I done?

Are people the things they have done? Rowena could’ve said “You kill people, Dean” but no, she says “You are a killer”. And okay, the use of the verb “to kill” can start a debate on morals&justice&law (what’s the difference between killing and being a killer etc) but not the point here. The point here being that Rowena, regarding Dean, is confusing being and doing but Dean is not. He replies: “Wait, I... I kill people?”.

Rowena continues in her “misunderstanding”:

Rowena: But... but... though you may be a stubborn pain in the arse with the manners of a Neanderthal and the dining habits of a toddler, everything you've done, you've done... for the greater good.

Dean: Oh, and that's supposed to make it okay?

Rowena: I wouldn't know. You help those other than yourself. But me, I've done horrible things, and I told myself it was fine. It was the price of power. And power's what matters, right?

Then I met God and his sister. The two most powerful beings in the universe, wasting it on squabbling with each other. I thought, if—if they can't be happy, or at least satisfied, how can there be any hope for me?

Okay, so now we maybe have a clearer picture of who Dean is: he’s a killer (or he kills people) but he does so for the greater good. To help people other than himself. This is not exactly news to us, I mean, this episode is not telling us anything actually NEW about Dean but the catch is that it’s not about him, it’s about regarding him. How people perceive him and how he perceives himself. The last being the most important thing, we’ll have the answer at the end of the episode.

Rowena also drops the “happy” bomb. She’s talking based on the assumption that she must do things in order to be happy, even if these are horrible things, things she tells herself she's fine doing them because it’s the price of power. We’re starting to see the old theme of the “price of happiness” and Rowena thinks she’s paid it but she’s still unhappy and she’s becoming hopeless.

(Cas' love declaration in s15x18 echoes Rowena's dialogue, apart from the Dean thing (you're not a killer aka you're not how your enemies regard you, you're the most caring man aka you're how the people that love you regard you etc), Cas' words circle around the same concept: happiness is not in the having, is in the being or, maybe even more importantly, is in the giving oneself permission to be your true self)

Now we need to talk about Sam. While Dean is having an existential crisis in the bathroom, Sam drops another fucking bomb: “You know, I've seen my brother die, but watching him become... not him... This might actually be worse”.

Excuse me, sir? I mean, this is a very very loaded thing to say. To Sam Winchester seeing his brother dying might be better than watching him become not him. Which is also incorrect, because Dean is not not becoming him, he’s just Dean without "the weight" of the past on his shoulders. (btw, will somebody please give a hug to this giant man who's lived a life where death is o-kay and what's worse is living and not knowing how to move on? Please??? He needs it!) I think this says more about how Sam feels about himself than about how he feels about Dean and his relationship with his brother. And I think I’m right because at the end of the episode Sam explicitly says he was jealous. Sam really should be the one regarding himself in the mirror (and it’s a fucking shame that we didn’t get something like this for Sam because god, it’d be bomb) trying to remember who he is because Dean might be losing his memories but Sam is totally lost and in the dark.

He doesn’t call Mary or Cas because ??? but he does call Rowena for help, Rowena magically teleports and immediately arrives (okay she has an agenda but she does come super quickly, let’s give her that), she agrees to help them and to all of that Sam says: “I obviously don’t trust you”. Which, to be honest, fair, Sam I approve your long-lasting distrust of everything that has to do with Crowley because you have real reasons to do so. But it’s also time for you to learn to create meaningful connections and you cannot do so if you’re not willing to trust people. (important: Rowena tries to steal the Black Grimoire in this ep, the same book that she’ll try to steal in s13. Sam will then give her the one page she needs for her spell, so, you know, way to go Sam! It takes him one whole season to trust Rowena with one only page of the book but, progress).

Okay, time to wrap this rambling up with the final scene. We have this dialogue right here and it’s so gooood:

Sam: So how you holding up after the spell?

Dean: That thing kicked my ass.

Sam: You know, I gotta be honest. I was actually, uh, a little jealous at first.

Dean: Of what? The curse that nearly killed me?

Sam: No, just, you know... some of the things we've done, we've had this weight for... forever. And seeing it gone, uh, you looked happy.

Dean: Huh. Well, look, was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn't just the crap that got lost. I mean, it was everything. It was us, it was what we do, you know? All of it. So... that's what being happy looks like? I think I'll pass.

Sam and Rowena were a little jealous at first. Because Dean showed them life without the weight of the things they carry, the things they’ve done. Dean looked HAPPY. We can infer that Sam and Rowena are not happy, they do feel the weight of the things they’ve done and they would like OUT. They still have a long walk ahead of them to discover who they are apart from what they do and decide what’s next, what they decide to do, who they want to be and what are the actions that can lead them there.

But Dean, Dean is almost there, people. He’s not lost at all, even though he was the one with the brain almost gone. “It was us” and “it was what we do”. The distinction for him it’s clear. And he has weighted the pros and the cons and he has decided that IF that's what happiness is, if happiness is just forgetting about the crap, forgetting about the past, he will pass. He’s not willing to pay the price for a happiness where he doesn’t have a connection with his family, where the people he cares about (and for whom he does very bad things) are not there. The price for the supposed happiness is not worth Sam, Mary and Cas.

Earlier I said that I thought it was bleak, you know, not knowing yourself apart from other people. But the last scene where Dean is riding Larry (and he’s not yet under the spell so he’s Dean-Dean there) gives a lot of unexpected hope.

The song in the background is nostalgic and, frankly sad:

“So dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy

Dream while you can

For soon, you'll be a dreadful thing

My son, you'll be a man”

But it’s appropriate. Dean has accepted that, for him, caring for the people he loves is what constitutes his happiness. He has accepted that “horrible things” have been done and maybe will be done in their names. Acceptance is key: he’s on the right path to discover new parts of himself. He doesn't want to lose "the crap" because losing it means he'll also lose the people he cares about. And without the these people, without Sam, Mary and Cas, he doesn't yet know who he is. But he wants to find out. He wants to move on. And he wants to move on with the people he loves, doing "the good and the bad", not alone, oblivious and fake-happy. It’s bittersweet as all changes are but it must be done. He’s ready to grow up, ready to be a man, ready for love, ready to start a family, guys :").

(unfortunately it'll all go to pieces when Cas dies and Mary disappears in the AU (OF COURSE Dean will lose his will to live after that, because he was still in the process of differantiating himself from others, but he was SO there ffs) so thanks for nothing s12)(s14 "Lebanon" thankfully comes back to this theme and there Dean finally says, again and out loud for the people in the back, that he's okay with the choices he's made because they resulted in this crazy-ass, totally weirdo, supernatural family and he loves it and he's good with that. PERIOD)

#spn #supernatural #spn rewatch #spn season 12 #regarding dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #rowena macleod #spn s12 #spn meta

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deancasbigbang · 1 year

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Title: Lay Your Weary Head To Rest

Author: angelofthequeers

Artist: eggchef

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean/Cas, background Sam/Eileen, Dean/OMC (one-sided under a spell), very brief mentions of past Dean/OMC

Length: 22000

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Transphobia (both internalised and external) Homophobia (in the past, from John including the f-slur) Dubious consent

Tags: Episode AU: s15e18 Despair, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Human Castiel, Mind Control, Trans Dean Winchester, Smut

Posting Date: October 23, 2023

Summary: They've beaten this plot point to death, dancing around each other and wallowing in miscommunication and things unsaid. So why should this time be any different? Oh, yeah. Because Chuck's gone. And Cas is human now, all thanks to Dean. Surely this whole miscommunication won't backfire on them when they take on what seems to be a shifter case involving people killing their lover and then themselves. Surely not.

Excerpt: “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” is all Dean’s voice can say. He already knows the answer before Cas ever opens his mouth. “Because it is.” No. Don’t. Dean opens his mouth but before he can stop Cas – “I love you.” Dean shakes his head madly. Take it back! Take it back! he’s tempted to shriek like a child. But take-backsies doesn’t exist for this. For…that. THUD. “Don’t do this, Cas.” Dean’s voice hitches. But then there’s a wet sound, a chittering, and Dean already knows before he turns what he’s going to see: a mass of black goo squeezing itself between the bricks, sighing into existence, ready to take the one person who’s seen Dean at his lowest, at his ugliest, and chosen time and time again to stay, to believe in him, to… I love you. I love you. Don’t do this. SLAM. The door finally bursts open and Billie stalks into the room, murder glinting in her eyes. “Cas…” Cas rests his bloody hand on Dean’s shoulder. His left shoulder. The handprint shoulder. Dean gasps in a breath. “Goodbye, Dean.” Dean shakes his head wordlessly. Cas tenses, like he’s about to throw Dean away, discard him like everyone else who’s ever loved him, but Dean grabs the lapels of Cas’ trench coat. He squeezes. He shakes his head again. “No,” he forces out. “Don’t leave me. Please.” Cas doesn’t say anything. He just stands there with that tearful smile that makes Dean want to punch him in his stupid, handsome face and Dean scrambles for some way – any way – to keep Cas here, to save him from the Empty…to make him stay. “Let me come with you,” Dean begs in a twisted mockery of Cas’ plea before he’d gone to face Amara. “I’ll come with you, Cas.” “No.” Cas shakes his head. “You can’t. Humans don’t belong in the Empty. And even if you could come, I wouldn’t let you. I’m saving you, Dean.” Humans don’t belong in the Empty. The rejection stings, burns like alcohol on a fresh cut, ensuring that Dean knows damn well that he’s never been able to follow Cas like Cas has followed him. All he’s ever been able to do is keep Cas with him, except for all the times Cas had flown off on him. Typical flighty angel, always spreading his wings, taking flight, leaving Dean in the dust – Dean freezes. His breath crystallises in his chest. Could he…would it…does he dare to hope… “Humans don’t belong in the Empty.” “Dean?” Cas tilts his head, still smiling. Something slithers behind Dean, chitters in his ear, rasps in the air, and he draws a deep, rattling breath into his porcelain lungs. “I’m sorry, Cas,” he chokes.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

#dcbb 2023 #fic preview #2023 promo #deancas #destiel

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pandoras-moony · 5 days

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The world keeps spinning (but not for me)

deancas fic set post confession!

1 Month since Cas’s Death

He’s gone.

He’s actually gone this time.

Dean cant feel him anymore.

He’s gone and it’s all Dean’s fault.

He goes searching for the answers at the bottom of whiskey bottles and in the messes of his vomit that cover the bunker floor.

Sam keeps asking what happened, and the thing is Dean wants to tell him. He wants to break down in his baby brother’s arms and wail until his lungs cant function anymore, he hopes he screams so loud it rips his throat raw and he drowns in his own blood. But every time he looks at Sam, or Jack all he hears is

“Because you cared I cared… I cared about Sam, about Jack..”

Because of you, I’m dead.

Every night Dean sits in the pitch black emptiness of the library, drowning his sorrows in whatever alcohol he can find and he talks. He talks to Cas, prays to him rather. He knows wherever Cas is, he cant hear him. Somehow that makes it easier for him, easier to whisper “I love you” into the darkness and know he’ll never hear it back. It’s not like he deserves it anyway.

2 Months since Cas’s Death

Dean wakes up every morning drenched in sweat and screaming Cas’s name. Sam holds him until he starts breathing normally again and then Dean tells him to fuck off, doesn’t Sam get it? He killed Cas. Dean murdered Cas. It’s all his fault. Why the fuck should he feel any ounce of comfort or remorse when Cas never even got to feel loved?

No one should hold Dean. Or touch him. Or speak to him.

He has to preserve who he was when he was last with Cas.

He tells the library so every night.

3 Months since Cas’s Death

“Fuck you.”

“Dean we needed to know what happened, you-“

“You had no right!”

Sam watched the tapes from the dungeon. The ones where-

“Dean you wont talk to us and you’re killing yourself! You- I cant even recognise you half the time anymore Dean. When you’re not sleeping and screaming his name you’re angry, drunk and you’re looking for something to hurt and it always seems to be you that you land on Dean- I see the bruises on your fists, please Dean, you’re scaring Jack.”

That cut deeper than Dean can ever say ‘you’re scaring Jack.’ thats exactly what Dean used to say to John when he got like this. He used to hold Sam and promise him he would never let anything bad happen to him, that he’d never let their dad lay a hand on him.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

“Fuck. You.” Dean bites out. He takes a step towards Sam and a part of him dies when Sam flinches back.

He doesn’t stop.

“You think you know what fuckin’ happened Sammy? You think you could ever understand how it fucking feels?” Deans pointer finger slammed against Sam’s chest. “I killed him. Me.” Sam cupped deans hand gently “You know that’s not true.” always so soft, despite everything.

A bitter, rotten laugh claws its way up from Deans throat “Isn’t it? You heard the man!” Dean yanks his hand away “Or did you watch him die in silence. Did you watch it take him in the quiet?” He stalks closer to Sam now, in his face, daring Sam to reply. He doesn’t.

“Well lucky fucking you.” he whispered as he heard the words die a twisted death on his tongue. Dean shoved Sam back and began pacing slowly.

“I sure wish I could’ve lived it in silence- because all I fucking hear anymore is him! He’s not even here and all I see is him, except for when I look in the mirror cause then I’m just dad.”

Dean is spiralling and he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He doesn’t know where he is, or what’s happening, he wants to hurt everything and everyone around him, but he has to protect Sam. Always his brothers protector.

“What he said-“

‘I love you.’

Dean nearly chokes on his words, they come out quiet and afraid and fill all the space in the room once inhabited by Dean’s whiskey flavoured torment. “It- It wasn’t for you.” He’s crying, he can feel it. Searing tear tracks flow down his face and Sam takes a step closer with his arms spread, ready to hold Dean together.

Dean spins on his heels and slams the door on his way out without a word.

He cries in the Library that night and imagines the black tar swallowing him too.

“I love you Cas… how could you do this? Why? Why, sweetheart? I could have gone with you.”

There was a deafening silence.

“Why didn’t you take me with you?”

4 Months since Cas’s Death

Dean doesn’t speak all month, too busy guzzling spirits.

They’re on to something big, they’re going to defeat Chuck.

Dean cant bring himself to care.

Until his phone rings.

“Cas?” he rasps into the phone.

It’s his voice.

In a heartbeat he’s up, and before he knows it he’s at the door and opening it. Not even thinking for a second that this could be a trick. All he could think was Cas.

It’s him.

It’s Cas.

CasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCasCas-

He opened the door.

Lucifer.

His sobs were all that filled the Library that night.

5 Months since Cas’s Death

Jack’s gone too.

They beat Chuck, the world is back.

But Dean lost another person.

Because he’s selfish, Dean prays for Jack to come back to them. He was clinging to Jack, the closest thing to Cas he had left.

But because Jack was so similar to Cas, he did the right thing and left Dean’s prayers unanswered.

Eileen tries to talk to Dean, he ignores her. Seeing her there with Sam’s hand on her shoulder, and pity in her eyes is too much, it’s just another reminder of what Dean will never, ever have.

That night in the library Dean doesn’t drink, he just talks to the empty space until he falls asleep.

“I used to hate that you stood so friggin close to me all the time man. I mean really hate it.” He laughed quietly to himself, “But it’s so cold without you now.”

“Thought I saw you today.”

“God, I miss your eyes.”

“Sammy mentioned you yesterday, we were out at some fair thing and there was all these farm animals in a pen- he said ‘Cas would’ve loved all these little guys’” He took a deep breath in “and you know what? I almost let myself imagine it and smile, before i said ‘We have to bring him sometime.’” The crying started then, and it didn’t stop until Deans head hit the table.

6 Months since Cas’s Death

“He loved me.”

He’s not sure why he says it, but Sam looks up from his breakfast and looks at Dean like his heart just shattered. Dean keeps cutting up his food.

“You wanna know the worst part? Think I loved him too.”

The knife and fork clatter and Dean sinks to the floor.

He cries for hours and Sam holds him as their food goes cold.

12 Months since Cas’s Death.

Dean is 4 months sober.

When Sam moved in with Eileen, Dean got his own apartment. It’s pretty shitty but it does its job.

They turned the bunker into a halfway home for any hunters who needed it.

He’s a firefighter now.

He still talks to Cas every night.

#destiel #deancas #casdean #castiel #cas loves dean #the confession #spn 15x18 #destiel fanfic #fanfic #post confession #dean loves cas

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queen-of-deans-booty · 12 days

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Inside Man: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, smut, fem!receiving

Summary: The gang is split into two. Sam and Cas continue to look for the cure for the Mark with the help of someone who will do anything to bring you back. You and Dean face off with Rowena but this time, you're going to show her that you're the most powerful witch there is, and damn her if she thinks she can beat you.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

Dean doesn't want to talk about this inside the Bunker where you're at because he doesn't want you to know about this. He called Cas to come out right after discovering that your blue magic was pouring out of his hands last night. All three men are standing outside the Bunker while Dean tries to conjure the magic from last night.

"Okay, I can't do it now but I swear, Cas, I had her magic."

Cas lifts his hand and checks on the status of your soul which still has slivers of darkness in it.

"Her soul still isn't ready but it's almost there. It's getting lighter every day. I can only assume that since you have her soul in you and her magic is tied to her soul, you have access to her magic."

Dean opens and closes his mouth as he thinks of something to say. Sam slaps his brother's arm and Dean looks at him like he's crazy.

"Dude, this can work. If you can learn how to control this, that gives us a real shot at beating Y/N."

"I don't know," Dean sighs.

"The only way to get her back to who she was before is to take that mark off her body and shove her soul back in. All you need to worry about is her magic and her soul, and we'll worry about the Mark."

"What if she finds out? She'll kill my kids," Dean almost cries.

"If you act like nothing is wrong, then she won't know to suspect anything. Look, Cas and I will go find a way to get this Mark off. Just keep her here and keep her distracted. Tell her I'm seeing a French film." Dean still doesn't look convinced. "You said it yourself. You promised her that you'd stop looking. I never promised anything. This way, you get to keep your hands clean."

"Fine," Dean sighs.

Sam and Dean head back into the Bunker while Cas waits outside. You're still inside your room where you've been all night so Sam quickly and quietly packs a bag. He pats his brother on the shoulder as he leaves, and Dean sighs at the thought of being alone with you. He walks over to your room reluctantly because what is he even going to say? What is there to say? He stands in the hallway looking like an idiot when your door opens. His mouth goes dry when he sees you standing in your room wearing one of your most revealing lingerie sets. Your ass is on display, your nipples poke through the very thin fabric of your bra, and your skin glows from the moisturizer you just put on.

"What are you doing?" he asks with hooded eyes.

"How do I look?" you grin and turn to him.

"Hot but what are you doing?"

"I got bored and decided to try some of these on." You walk over to Dean and lean against the door frame. "Where's Sam?"

"To Witchita to see a movie."

"So, what you're saying is we have the Bunker to ourselves?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good."

You grab Dean's shirt and pull him toward you, and he doesn't know what to do when your lips slant against his. It's been so long since he's felt your lips on his, your body on his. You might be soulless and want to kill him but you're still you. Dean fights against himself to reject you but he doesn't. You feel too good to pull away from.

"Get in here and remind me what it feels like to have you in bed."

Dean steps inside the room and slams the door behind him. You don't care about Dean. You don't have feelings for him. What you do care about is the mind-blowing orgasm you know he can give you. Dean knows he shouldn't do this but he isn't thinking with his upstairs brain right now. He can't think about anything right now with the way you're running your hands over his body like that.

"Well? Aren't you going to touch me?"

Dean backs you up to the bed and you fall down onto it. He leans over you and decides to start from the very top. He peels off the straps on your shoulders and with each piece of new skin, he presses kisses against you, licking thin lines down your body. He reaches around your chest to unclasp your bra, tossing the offending material out of the way. He peppers light kisses around the skin of your breasts before attaching his lips to the place you need him. He wraps his lips around your right nipple while his hand pinches your left.

One of the most sensitive spots on your body are your nipples, and the tugging of his lips and fingers sends waves of pleasure down to your core. You don't give him the noises he wants but your body tells him everything he needs to know about you. You like this but your pride won't let you tell him verbally. Popping the hard bud out of his mouth, he grins as he kisses all the way down to your panty line.

"So pretty for me. Bet you look even prettier with them off."

"Only one way to find out, Winchester."

He reaches down and unhooks the straps connecting your panties and your tights so he can remove the one piece of material that's truly in his way. He can smell just how needy you are when he slides off your panties. He likes the way your legs look with the tights and heels, so he opts to leave them on. With nothing standing in his way, he spreads your legs. He is definitely going to Hell. He shouldn't want this but he does.

"So pretty and pink," he mutters.

"Are you gonna eat me or do I have to get my vibrator to come do your job for you?"

He immediately dives right in. He hooks your legs over his shoulders so that he can have better access to your dripping pussy. He licks one thick stripe up your slit, gathering the juices that have leaked out of you. He wraps his tongue around your clit and sucks hard, causing you to let out an unexpected squeal.

"Fuck!"

He moves his tongue back down to your entrance and shoves his tongue in without warning. One hand keeps your thighs open while the other rests on your lower stomach so that his thumb can work over your clit. He licks you from wall to wall, swirling it around to taste every inch of you. His thumb rubs hard circles around your clit, feeling the small nub throb from the pressure. He pinches your clit and rolls it around between his fingers, feeling you right at the edge. He gives a single swish of his tongue, and you're toppling over the edge.

You refuse to say his name but you do moan loudly from the pleasure. Your hand flies to the back of his head, and you hold him there while you ride out your orgasm. Your legs shake from how intense it is, and he licks every drop you have to give him. When he pulls away from you, his beard is glistening with your orgasm.

"Fuck," you whisper.

He crawls up your body and kisses you hard, shoving his tongue into your mouth so you can taste yourself on him.

"Now fuck me," you say against his lips.

"Who am I to deny you?"

He stands up to his full height and grips your waist, flipping you over so that you're now lying flat on your stomach. He pulls your hips to meet his, your ass now sticking in the air for him while the rest of your body is smushed into the sheets below. He strips himself free of his clothing and his hard cock bounces free. You peek over your shoulder to see him stroking himself, and your pussy clenches at the thought of having his cock inside you. Dean is a big man in general, and even his hand can't fit all the way around him. He might be an ass but he's damn good at sex.

You spread your legs further to entice him and he takes the bait. He runs the tip of his cock through your folds before sliding himself in. He doesn't exactly take it slow, but he isn't slamming into you. Your pussy flutters all around him, and he begins to move. In and out, slowly at first. When he knows you can take more, he picks up the pace. He feels your need and lust for him even if it is only momentary, and he's going to give you exactly what you want. He grips your hips and holds you steady before slowly pulling all the way out and slamming right back in.

"Fuck!" you scream.

He keeps the brutal pace, pounding so fast that the only thing that can be heard from inside the room is both of your pants, your drawn-out moans, and skin slapping against skin. Pleasure stems from your pussy and shoots out in every direction, numbing your whole body in the most delicious of ways.

"Fuck," you groan, "I'm going to come. Please don't stop."

"Go ahead. Come."

You clench hard around him but he still finds a way to shove himself deeper into you. He taps your g spot from behind, and the dam breaks. You and Dean come together at the same time, and you feel both of your orgasms mix together inside of you. His thrusts begin to slow down until he is finished. He pulls out of you and watches as the evidence of your activity drips out of your pussy and down your thighs. He flips down on the bed next to you, and you turn your head to face him.

"Okay, maybe you're good for one thing," you smirk.

Dean closes his eyes and tries not to think of what his brother would say if he found out about this. Sam and Cas have been driving in silence for an hour when Sam breaks it.

"Thanks for coming, Cas," Sam says.

"Of course. How is Y/N doing?"

"Not good, Cas. She's stealing power from people. That's why she wants to hunt. She's feeding this Mark with power. This is exactly what we've been trying to avoid this whole time."

Cas sighs and looks out the window in thought.

"The Mark is going to consume her from the inside out the longer she goes without her soul. We need to cure her fast. At least without the Mark, we'll be rid of our biggest problem."

"Would she still have magic without the Mark?"

"I don't think so. I think the Mark gave her magic to help feed it."

The entrance to Heaven is located at a children's park in Witchita. There aren't children playing when they get there, only two people who are pretending to enjoy themselves. To anyone else, it looks creepy because they're just sitting there lightly swinging on the swings. To Sam and Cas, it looks like two guards guarding the entrance to the castle. Sam and Cas get out and approach the two angels who stand at cautious attention.

"That's far enough, Castiel."

"Excuse me?"

"I have orders. You aren't allowed upstairs."

"Says who?" Sam asks.

"Hold, please."

A rift opens on the sandbox and the angel steps through it. Moments later, another angel comes out but it's not one that Sam recognizes.

"Hello, Castiel."

"Hannah."

Sam furrows his brow when he hears a woman's name but sees a man in front of him. He stays silent and allows Cas to handle this one.

"I swore I'd never occupy another vessel but we need to have this conversation face-to-face. What do you want in Heaven?"

"Metatron."

"Why? Is this about your Grace? Are you fading?" she asks, concerned.

"I'm fine for now."

"This is about my brother and his wife," Sam says.

"Because you think Metatron might have information about the Mark of Cain?"

"No. We know he does."

"So he says, but Metatron lies."

"Hannah, we just want to talk with him," Sam sighs.

"No, you want his help, but we both know the only way Metatron helps you is if he's free. I can't let the scribe out of his cell. Not again. He's too dangerous."

"We won't--"

"Yes, you will because you're desperate."

"Listen, Hannah, Dean and Y/N are getting worse. Y/N is the Scarlet Witch now. She's becoming ruthless and deadly. She does not care who lives or dies and that includes her children. If we don't remove this Mark from her, she will become too powerful for anyone to stop. I don't think you're understanding the gravity of the situation," Sam explains.

"I understand just fine."

"After all I've done for Heaven after all I've done for you," Cas glares.

"I'm sorry," she sighs.

"You should be!"

The door to Heaven opens and three more angels come out to back Hannah up.

"Cas, let's go," Sam says and tugs on his arm.

"What? We're leaving?"

"Yeah, we can't fight off four angels."

Sam tugs Cas back over to the car and shoves his hands in his pockets.

"So, what? Are you giving up on Metatron?"

"No, we need him. Time for plan 'B'. We break him out."

"How?"

"The only way we can get into Heaven without actually getting into Heaven is to contact someone who is already here. I know someone who would do anything for Y/N and Dean. We just need to find a psychic to make that connection, and I know who can do it."

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester angst #supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural angst #spn #supernatural series rewrite #supernatural season 10

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castielmydarling · 1 year

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Suptober 2023-Day 4: Nimbus

I Can See You-850 words on AO3 or below. Summary: Dean is hit with a spell to see what's in front of him

“Dean!” Cas shouts running to where Dean has collapsed.

Sam approaches the witch, gun drawn. “What did you do?” he yells.

“Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!” she pleads. “He’s fine. It’s just a simple spell so he can see what’s in front of him, so he can see that I’m good, I’m not a threat. Not all witches are evil. You know that better than anyone.” She cautiously gestures at Sam. “I can see the magic coming off you. I tried telling him it wasn’t me but he wouldn’t listen!” She says angry. “So, I did the only thing I could think of to show him I wasn’t evil. I’m not lying. I didn't kill those people!” She yells frustrated. Fucking hunters.

Cas helps Dean up. “Are you ok?” He asks, worried.

Dean rubs his head. “Yeah no thanks to this bitch.” He says. When he looks at her he sees it. A shimmering light surrounds her, almost like she’s walking through fairy dust. A quick glance at Sam reveals the same, not as much or as bright as her, but it's there.

“Well?” Sam lowers his weapon a degree but he’s ready to take the shot at Dean’s word.

“Yeah, yeah. Your auras match. She’s telling the truth.” He grunts.

The witch breathes a sigh of relief. “It’s not actually our auras you’re seeing…” she starts before Dean cuts her off.

“I don’t give a fuck what it is!” he yells exasperated. “Sam, get her out of here. Find out what she knows.”

Sam puts his gun away. “So what is he seeing?” he asks as he walks her away. Dean might not care but he’s interested in what kind of energy he’s giving off.

Cas is still holding on to Dean worried. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just feel a little sore. Her so-called simple spell really knocked me out.” He looks at Cas for the first time since being hit, he takes a step back. “Woah.”

Beautiful white light shimmers and glows around Castiel. A halo of intensely bright light is concentrated above him. It almost hurts to look at him but Dean doesn't want to look away. Like a moth to a flame he reaches out to touch, afraid and excited at the same time.

“Dean?”

“Do you always look like this?” He says in awe.

Cas looks down at the same outfit he’s worn pretty much the entire time he’s known Dean. “Since I first took Jimmy Novak as a vessel, yes. There have been a few wardrobe changes, this coat is not the original nor is the tie. And I suppose this body shows typical signs of aging due to my inconsistent levels of grace.”

Dean laughs. “No. I mean the light that’s around you.” He says, mesmerized. “Your halo, it’s…it’s so beautiful.” He finally reaches up to touch it. He can see his hand go through it but he can’t feel anything.

Cas rolls his eyes. The spell. He remembers now what the witch said. Show him what’s right in front of him.

“Yes, Dean, I always look like this. And it’s not a halo. You must be seeing some residual side effects of my true form contained in a vessel on this plane. The spell must be bringing it to light, so to speak. It's temporary, I assure you.”

“But I like it.” Dean pouts. He waves his hand through the halo again. “Can you feel that?”

Cas laughs. “ No. I wasn’t even aware this was happening. It’s just particles, like fairy dust. It’s not a part of me.”

“I don’t know” Dean can’t stop touching the halo even though he can’t actually feel anything. “This halo seems pretty Angel-like to me. A ring around an angel's head? That’s a halo.” He takes a step back to look at Cas and the area around him.

“Now what?” Cas asks amused.

“I’m looking for your harp.” He steps closer to lift up the trench coat.

“Dean, for the last time I don’t have a harp.” He says laughing. “I do not know how to play any musical instrument.”

“I don’t know, you keep insisting your halo isn’t a halo so I thought you might be lying about the harp.” He teases.

He brings Cas in, kissing him deeply. His eyes are closed but he can see the light getting brighter. The kiss even feels different.

“How long do you think the spell will last?” He says breathless.

“I don’t know.” Cas replies. “While she said it was a simple spell it must be pretty powerful if you can see my essence. I would say at least a day. Why?”

“Good. Let’s get back to our room. I want to see what else you’re hiding underneath all these layers.” He says grabbing the coat and suit jacket. Not even getting to the dress shirt or undershirt Cas is wearing. He really does wear too many clothes for his own good. He pulls Cas along toward the Impala, forever grateful they now book two rooms when they hunt.

“Seriously, Dean. There is no harp.”

#suptober23 #destiel fic #destiel #castiel #dean winchester

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dontlikeconflict · 9 months

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Based on S11EP13 Love Hurts (in which a supernatural creature called a Qareen appears to you as the person you desire the most, in an attempt to steal your heart)

TW: internalized homophobia, derogatory terms, John Winchester being a shitty dad

AO3 link

Dean's ready for it, he knows the bastard is around here somewhere and all he has to do is find it and kill it (or at least hold it off until Sam finds its heart, and stabs the damn thing)

He and Sam had been theorizing over who it might appear to them as, joking over childhood crushes and celebrities, but as the creature came into sight Dean's heart sunk. Some part of him knew who it would be, but he thought maybe if he didn't allow the thought to take hold -if he kept the idea in his peripheral vision, not looking directly at it- that it wouldn't be true.

but now the manifestation of his desire was staring directly at him, and it couldn't be ignored.

"Hello Dean"

The gravelly voice sounded the same as it had a hundred times before. The downward tilt to the corner of his eyes was the same, as was the slight skew to his blue tie. It was exactly as he saw Cas, in his mind's eye.

"oh don't try to be cute, I know exactly what you are Qareen"

He didn't want to have to try to kill this thing as it flawlessly imitated Cas, but at his words, the creature allowed its head to softly tilt to the side and his - its - eyes to slightly narrow. An expression that was so painfully Cas, that Dean was torn between pain and anger.

"I understand, Dean" the creature speaks, stepping slightly closer to the large work table that separates them

"is that right?" he responds, trying to focus on anything other than how much this thing looks like Cas, having to remind himself that it was an illusion, despite the tight feeling in his chest that always seemed to respond to the other man's micro-expressions.

The creature continued forward toward him "The longing in your heart? I feel it too"

If only the circumstances had been different, if only this was Cas, the words might have felt like a relief instead of so painfully raw.

"well that's touching" Dean began, as he tried to subtly move toward a knife wedged into the wood of the workbench "considering you don't have a heart. Considering... you're not Cas"

Dean didnt know if he was saying it aloud for the creature, or just to reassure himself. So that when he inevitably plunged a knife into this thing, he would know the expression of pain didn't truly belong to his friend.

"who I am doesn't matter" A small smile graced Cas' lips " The real question, is who are you?" Cas' eyes looked at Dean the way they had so many times like he was trying to understand him; like he thought if he stared long enough he could unravel the enigma that was Dean Winchester.

"what do you mean, who am I?" Dean trying to inch toward the knife, but the Qareen was tracing his movements

"You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart" They are both moving in sync, both so aware of the other " Feel the love you feel"

the use of that word causes Dean to stop in his tracks, and the creature stops with him "Except, its cloaked in shame"

and that's it isn't it? what it's all about. Dean has never been one to shy away from romantic feelings. Whereas one could describe him as emotionally constipated in almost every other area, romance had always been the easiest one, and even if he got turned down it never really affected how he approached potential partners.

But Cas was different. For starters he wasn't human, a factor he had gotten over a while ago but something that at the beginning had always been in the back of his mind. Back when Cas still spoke like an angel, 'raising him from perdition' and then subsequently threatening to throw him straight back to it. But it had been a long time since that mattered, a long time since he viewed Cas as Other in that way. and yet there was something so trivial yet so big that held him back. Cas was a man, his vessel was at least. And no matter how many people he meets, how much he grows and changes, his father is always there.

Throw away comments about 'pansys' and 'queers' and much harsher words that Dean doesn't even like to think. He can still remember his father watching the news and tutting at why "they have to go and get married, why can't they just stop shoving it in everyone's faces".

It felt wrong even back then, and Dean knows his father was wrong. Knows that even though he loves him, that he was an asshole on his best days. But the idea of people looking at him and thinking all those horrible things, the knowledge of what his father would think of him if he could see him now, always held him back.

When he spent too long looking into Cas' eyes, when Cas touched him and he felt himself light up, when he said something that sounded slightly too affectionate, he would feel his father's shame like a weight dropping down onto him.

He knew that he and Cas had something, that they shared a "more profound bond", as the angel had put it. But he could never get past the shame that lurked within him.

"when it comes to this" the creature continued, looking down at the shape it had taken, lifting a hand to Cas' chest and rubbing across it "You can't help yourself, so why fight it?"

To hear these words in Cas' voice; it was almost too much.

The creature was stalking its way forward "Just give in"

Ah, see that was just enough. That was so unlike Cas, to ask him to give in to anything, to not kick and fight the whole way as he always did, that it knocked Dean's mind out of its self-loathing and allowed him to act, to plan.

"yeah, you know what? You're right" suddenly feeling more confident that this was just another monster, just another hunt

"The real Cas, he does have a hold over me" It was the closest he had even come to admitting what it really was "but you... are nothing but a cheap imitation"

the creature was almost close enough to rip his heart from his chest, so he acted and did the first thing he could think of. He picked up a metal table to the side of him, holding it up like a shield just before the creature's hand burst right through the metal as if it were paper.

funnily enough, this felt more like Cas than the creature had been before, reminding Dean of when they first knew each other and Cas would constantly startle Dean with effortless strength. Holding a pipe Bobby swung directly for his head or lifting an entire anvil up as if he were holding a pillow.

Dean was taken out of his musings by the threat of losing his head as the creature pulled its arm free and he had to leap away rolling over the top of the workbench, just before the Qareen's hand went right through the thick wood. The way it moved was very stiff, not very artful, clearly not used to having to work physically for its food, used to victims presenting themselves eagerly for the face of their desires.

Then Dean's eyes caught on the knife he had been inching toward earlier, and he made a grab for it swinging haphazardly for the imitation of Cas' face, only to have his hand grabbed firmly, the creature squeezing at his arm until he was forced to relinquish the blade.

He was then shoved against the wall, held in place by Cas' large hand at his shoulder, the other raising, ready to push through layers of skin, muscle, and bone, to rip his heart straight from his body. Dean had no time to be scared, but if he had time to reflect he would have thought that dying to Cas' hands wouldn't be the worst way he could go.

but then it all stopped, the creature froze before stumbling back. Cas' face twisted in pain as it began to shake and scream before the body began to dissolve into smoke, and it all collapsed into a central blue light, almost like a star.

and then it was gone. And Sam was calling his name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not much had been said on the ride back to their motel, mostly focusing on cleaning up their mess, and driving home the victim. But now they were packing up their few things into duffel bags, getting ready to drive back to the bunker.

As Dean was shoving clothes unfolded into his bag, Sam's voice came from behind him "So you gonna keep me in suspense here or what?"

Dean continued to pack, hoping Sam wasnt asking what he thought "About what?"

"Who was it?" Sam was prying, he seemed casual about it, still moving between the bed and his bag as he grabbed and folded each item

"it, uh" Dean began to speak before he even knew what he was going to say. The truth? Or some half-baked lie about Daisy Duke batting her eyelashes at him before she lunged for his heart? but a calm almost washed over him as he allowed himself to be honest.

"it was Cas."

"huh." the was a pause where Dean felt like he truly could throw up "Does that surprise you?"

all his fear turned incredulous "That doesnt surprise you?"

For a moment the shame from his father came back, and the idea that something about him looked gay came into his mind. What if everyone knew? like it was something they could just tell about him. But Dean had to mentally remind himself that this was Sam, that his Dad was a bigot, that his dad hadn't been around to judge him for a long time now.

"Honestly?" Sam said, as if his answer was obvious

"Honestly." Dean parroted, his defensive nature rising up "What you seriously think Cas, the poor excuse for an angel that dresses like an accountant, is my deepest desire?"

it felt wrong to deflect, to be hurtful about Cas just because he was afraid, but the words just fell out.

"he isn't?" Sam responded simply

"No!" Dean's voice pitched up at the end of the syllable, and it sounded like a lie, even to his ears. "He cant be."

"why not?" the blunt way Sam was addressing him wasn't helping the rising panic in his chest

"Why? Because that means I'm-" The words get stuck, he can't say them, especially when he knows how he'll sound as they come out of his mouth. The Qareen was right, he's still ashamed.

"what Dean?" Sam's voice is soft, like he knows exactly what Dean is thinking, like he wants to say it for him so he doesn't have too

But Dean has to be the one to say it, he knows this. He attempts to steel his expression, but as the words come out he knows he sounds afraid "It would mean I'm - " Queer, a pansy, an embarrassment "Gay"

Even though they both knew what he was going to say, Sam's face changes to one of soft surprise "Dean, Did you honestly think that something like that would matter to me?"

Dean didnt know what to say. Logically he knew it wouldn't, but some part of him felt like it would somehow make him less of Sam's tough older brother, like somehow he would be letting him down, as irrational as it sounded

Sam took Dean's silence as a sign to continue "Look I know Dad had some stupid ideas about this kind of thing, but you gotta know that he was an idiot"

some old part of Dean wanted to get annoyed at Sam for speaking out against their father, for disgracing his memory, but the feeling wasn't strong enough for him to act on right now.

"you need to know that... you and Cas" his little brother, so smart seemed like he had no idea how to put his thoughts into words "it would be okay"

the words Sam settled on were simple but it felt like such sweet relief, because really that was all Dean wanted. For how he felt to be okay. To not feel like he was wrong every time he let his guard down. every time he let himself want. He didnt quite feel like he was okay, but hearing the words from Sam made him feel a hell of a lot closer to believing.

"Thanks, Sammy" Maybe in another world he could have teared up at a time like this and told his brother how much his acceptance meant to him. But for now, all he could do was give his beanpole of a brother a strong slap on the arm and say "Let's go home", home to where Cas is.

Part two

#destiel #deancas #dean x castiel #dean winchester #internalised homophobia #supernatural s11 #season 11 #team free will #sam winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #s11e13 #ficlet #destiel fic #deancas fic #castiel

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 3 months

Note

Headcanons of Dean Cas and Sam reacting to the death of the Winchester sister but then the darkness brings her back along with Mary

Like in season 9 when Metatro and Dean fight, Dean is about to stab Metatron with the first sword but he somehow puts the Winchester sister in the way. Dean, as he is so involved in the fight, because of the mark, does not manage to see that he is burying a sword in his sister's stomach, so she dies

What would Dean's reaction be like? What would Sam's reaction be like? Would Dean tell Sam and Cas that he was the one who killed Sister Winchester?

This is super dark and depressing but I'm allergic to happiness 😫

Wow this is so sad…

Anyway, so Dean dies in season 9, I’m gonna say like right after he kills his sister (if that’s the fight you were talking about). So she does in his arms before Sam even gets there, and then Sam gets there right when Metatron kills Dean.

Dean tells Sam right away (kind of like a dying confession).

“Sam, I…I killed her.”

And Sam doesn’t get it at first because he didn’t see her body when he walked in, he only saw Dean.

“It’s alright Dean, it’s alright, I’m gonna get you out of here.”

“No Sam, I killed her!”

“I-I don’t understand, Dean. Who?”

And Dean just looks over at where your body is, and Sam turns to look and he almost drops Dean (whose arm is wrapped around his shoulder to hold him up) but he knows he can’t grieve now because he still has to save Dean.

“It…Dean we’re gonna fix this, I’m gonna fix this. We just have to get you better and-and then we can fix this.”

(Sam’s in so much denial it physically hurts me.)

Once Dean dies, Sam has to bring both of his dead siblings back to the bunker. When Cas, devastated, asks what happens, Sam just says—

“Metatron. Metatron killed them.”

Because he could never tell anyone what he knew—that his big brother killed his little sister. Accident or not, he couldn’t do it.

Once Dean came back as a demon and Sam caught him and brought him back to the bunker (and then caught him again), Demon Dean tells Cas the truth.

“I mean, I’m too far gone, Sammy. You know what happened to our baby sister.”

And Sam doesn’t say a word, but Cas’s face just twitches slightly in confusion. Demon Dean catches it instantly.

“You didn’t tell him, did you Sammy? You didn’t tell him who killed N/N.”

“Of course he did,” Cas says.

“Really? What, did he tell you Metatron did it?”

Again? Silence.

“Well Metatron didn’t. I did.”

Cas looks at Sam to try to confirm what Dean’s saying, but Sam can’t look at anyone.

“I took the first blade, all ready to kill Metatron. But our sweet little baby sister got in the way—and I didn’t care. And you know what? I still don’t. That little brat was always in the way, so she got what was—“

Dean couldn’t finish his rant, because just then Sam stabbed him with the last bit of human blood. Dean’s eyes go from black to green—

And he starts to cry.

#the winchesters #dean winchester #dean and sam #supernatural dean #sam winchester #dean winchester x sister #sam winchester x little sister

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kaleldobrev · 1 year

Text

Supernatural: Purgatory (2)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sam and your parents team up to try and find a way to get you, Dean, and Cas back. Meanwhile in Purgatory, not only do you and Dean finally come face to face with the creature with the red glowing eyes, but something from your past.

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Cursing (2x), Fluff, Angst

Authors Note: This is part two or episode two of my Supernatural: Purgatory Series! Things are starting to heat up now! I apologize in advance for the little cliffhanger | At this point, I am choosing to ignore the Amelia/Sam storyline as Jared himself even said how he didn't even like that storyline believing that Sam would have done anything to try and get Dean and Cas back | Flashbacks are in italics | If you want to be tagged in this series, message or comment! | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Previously on Supernatural…

“Is Y/N okay? Dean, Cas?” Your mother was a little worried, more worried than usual. She was used to being worried, she always worried about you even before you started hunting with Sam and Dean; she was your mother after all. When you had become a hunter, the worry she had for you grew, but it started to lessen – not by much, but it did once you had decided to start hunting with Sam and Dean. Although she knew that you were a very capable hunter and had hunted for years before meeting up with the boys, she felt a little relieved once you had decided to team up with them, knowing that you would at least have some kind of backup now.

“I don’t…I don’t know.” Sam hated to say it, but it was true, he wasn’t completely sure if you, Cas or his brother were okay. From what Crowley said, it seemed like the three of you were in Purgatory, but he wasn’t completely sure. For all he knew, Crowley was lying, and the three of you could be dead.

“Dean…” You removed your arms from his neck, him doing the same with your waist. You went into your jacket and pulled out your hunting knife. Out of your peripheral you saw Dean doing the same, both of you entering a fighting stance. As the two of you looked at the entrance not moving a muscle, a low growl was heard between you two which started to get louder and louder with each passing second. “Looks like we have company.” You whispered. A pair of red eyes suddenly appeared.

“You ready?” He whispered.

“Ready.” You responded back.

NOW – Purgatory

You and Dean stood side by side, each of you holding your respected hunting knives tightly in hand. “What’s the plan Dean?” You asked, slightly turning your head.

Dean turned to look at you. “Don’t die.” He slightly shrugged his shoulders.

You let out a huff, rolling your eyes. “Obviously. I mean, do we have a better plan than just ‘don’t die’?”

“Uh…” Dean really didn’t have a solid plan. ‘Don’t die’ was really all he had.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” You teased.

“Fuck you.” He said, his voice a mixture of joking and annoyed.

“Love you too.” You grinned, turning your face back to the entrance of the cave.

The creature – gorilla-wolves as Dean had affectionally nicknamed them, started making its way slowly into the cave. You really didn’t know what to expect when it came to these creatures, as you nor Dean – or any hunter for that matter, has ever come across or heard of these creatures before. The only thing that you knew was that they were incredibly fast; but you didn’t know how to actually kill them. For all you knew, you and Dean could stab this creature with your hunting knives repeatedly and it still wouldn’t die. But hunting knives, switchblades, and pointy sticks were pretty sure your only choice of weapons right now; there were probably no other weapons available here.

“Okay. I say we just…keep on stabbing.” You shrugged.

“Keep on stabbing?” Dean questioned. He seemed unsure of your plan.

“It’s better than nothing. Unless you have any better ideas, I’m all ears babe.” You responded. The gorilla-wolf was fully in the cave with the two of you now, mere feet away. Now with it fully in the cave in close proximity, you were finally able to see what these creatures looked like. Upon seeing it, they were not what you had pictured from what Dean had named them. Yes, there seemed to be some kind of resemblance to a wolf, but there seemed to be no gorilla in sight – you honestly had no idea where Dean had gotten that part from. If you were to name it, it would have been were-panther as that is what it seemed to look like the most to you. The creature was jet black and slender and covered in fur. The tail was long and slender to match it’s body; and it walked on all fours. A small growl came from the creature, almost a rumble from its chest.

The creature stopped, it’s red glowing eyes making direct eye contact with just you. “Alright.” Dean said, gripping his knife even tighter in his hands; his knuckled almost pure white. “Stabbing it is Sweetheart.” He turned to look at you briefly before looking at the creature again; both of you were surprised that the creature hadn’t attacked yet, as there seemed to be barely any hesitation when it had chased you before.

You took a deep breath. “On three?”

Dean nodded. “On three.”

“One.” You started counting first.

“Two.” Dean said. You started to grip your knife tighter; your knuckles too turning white just like Dean’s.

“Three.” The two of you said in unison.

You and Dean made your way to the creature, practically lunging; as did the creature before you. You and Dean took opposite sides of the creature, trying any possible way to slow the creature down. You took your knife and stabbed the creature in the stomach – at least where you expected where the stomach could be. A guttural, painful whine came from the creature; a decent amount of blood coming from the place you had just stabbed. The creature swiped up, trying it’s best to aim for your arm, but before it could Dean cut the creature’s arm, causing the creature to let out yet another guttural whine.

Your Parents House

Your parents were sitting next to each other on the couch in the living room. Your mother’s eyes stared intensely at the front door as she tapped her foot on the floor. Her heart was pounding fast. Your father looked at your mother, sensing her nervousness and placed a comforting hand on her knee. Upon doing this your mother looked away from the door momentarily to look at your father. “What if he doesn’t come?” Your mother asked.

“He said he was going to didn’t he?” Your father asked, his question more rhetorical than anything.

“He did but…what if he changed his mind?” Your mother too asked rhetorically. Your mother had just gotten off the phone with Sam a few hours ago. Even though her and your father didn’t have any experience when it came to hunting, nor did they know a lot about this world, you were their daughter and they wanted to do anything that they possibly could in order to try and find a way to get you back. Sam had told your parents that even though he had no idea if you were okay, he was going to try his best to help find a way to get you back; because he knew if he was able to get you back, there would also be a way to get Dean back too, considering – at least he hoped at least – you two were in the same place: Purgatory. But the two of you being in Purgatory was a long shot; and something that was solely based on the words of Crowley, someone he couldn’t trust.

A loud knock came, and your mother practically jumped out of her seat to answer it; praying that it was Sam. Looking through the peep hole she opened it and wrapped her arms around Sam in a firm hug. He hugged her back, trying his best to comfort her. After the hug she looked at him, her eyes were filled with worry, and maybe a hint of loss. Even though she had no idea if you were okay or not, there was a small part of her that was starting to grieve. She didn’t want to think that you were dead, but she also didn’t want to get her hopes up either. “Thank you for coming.” She said.

“Of course.” Sam replied, walking into the house. Your mother closed the door behind him. Sam walked over to the opposite couch from where your father was sitting, and gave your father a slight wave.

“Hey there Sam.” Your father said. His voice was slightly monotone. Even though Sam didn’t have much interaction with your father, he could sometimes hear his voice whenever you talked to him on the phone. His voice was usually so joyful and warm sounding, but his voice now was far from that.

“Mr. Y/L/N.” Sam nodded. Your mother sat back down next to your father, the two of them looked over at Sam. He held his hands, eyeing your parents, trying to figure out what he was going to say. Clearing his throat he began to talk. “So…I think…I think Y/N is in Purgatory.” Sam began. “So, if Y/N is in Purgatory, I think that also means Dean and Cas are too.”

“And Purgatory is what exactly?” Your mom asked. You had mentioned Purgatory before, but only briefly, not getting into too much detail about it.

“It’s where monsters go when they die.” Sam explained.

Your parents looked at each other briefly, both giving each other worried looks before looking at Sam again. “So, how did Y/N, Cas, and Dean end up there? They aren’t monsters.” Your father said.

“That’s the part I’m not sure about. I…I’m thinking maybe…the close proximity of killing Dick did it?” Sam really had no theories about how the three of you could have ended up in Purgatory. The close proximity theory was honestly the best thing he could come up with, but there was no possible way he could be right because it didn’t really make any sense.

Your mom rubbed her face, starting to feel herself get frustrated with the lack of information that she was getting. “Okay. How do we…How do we get them back?”

Purgatory

Almost in unison, you and Dean stabbed the creature in the head; a loud crunch sounded off – you didn’t think you had crushed the skull from the stab, but that’s what it had sounded like. Once the two of you impaled the skull with each hunting knife, a large gush of blood came from the creature, splattering both of you in the face and on your necks. The blood of the creature dripped down your chin, and dripped along your collarbone – you could have sworn you tasted iron in your mouth.

The two of you removed your knives and the creature went down with a huge thud, collapsing between the two of you. You huffed, and so did Dean. The gorilla-wolf/were-panther wasn’t the toughest thing you or him had ever faced, but what made this creature terrifying to you is that you never read or heard of any kind of lore when it came to the creature. At least when you have fought creatures and monsters in the past that you have never faced before, there was at least some kind of lore about it or you or the boys had known one hunter who had faced it before.

“Hunting knife to the head I guess works.” You said, wiping off the blood from the knife on your jacket. “Good to know.”

Dean wiped his own knife on his jacket before putting it back into the inside of his jacket. Dean knelt down, looking at the creature almost as if he was examining it. He leaned over, grabbing one of the pointy sticks the two of you had whittled and poked the creature with the stick. Poking it several times, the creature didn’t move a muscle – it truly was dead. He looked up at you, throwing the stick to the side. “So, what are we going to do with this guy?”

“Burn it?” You asked, more of a suggestion than anything.

“Alright. Let’s do it quick, I don’t want to draw more attention to ourselves than we already do.” He said, standing up.

To make the creature easier to burn, the two of you chopped the body up into pieces – more like chunks – as that would be the quickest and easier way to get rid of the body. Being humans in a world where there were creatures around every corner that had wanted to kill you, doing this quickly and efficiently was your top priority.

Once the body was chopped up, the two of you started making a fire that would be large enough but also small enough as to not draw too much attention to yourselves. As the fire roared, you took turns placing the body parts into the fire while one of you stood watch.

Dean held the hunting knife in his hand as he leaned up against the cave entrance. He overlooked the landscape of the place, everything being the exact same no matter where he looked. It was an endless forest of just different shades of gray. Dean looked up at the sky, finally understanding what you had said when it came to the changing of the sky – how much you took the changes for granted. The changing of the sky was something that he realized that he took for granted too.

You and Dean had known each other just short of a year. Sam was fast asleep in the passenger seat of Baby with a blanket covering him; a blanket that you had brought to actually keep yourself warm on the long car rides, but you had decided in this moment that Sam had needed it more. Dean and you were sitting together on the trunk of Baby, each of you holding a cold beer in your hand. As the two of you looked up at the night sky, you pointed out various constellations, every so often swearing that you saw a shooting star. Dean looked at your face, admiring the way the moonlight was hitting your face. You took a small sip of beer before looking over at him; a questioning look on your face. “Is there something on my face?” You asked, starting to brush your cheeks and forehead. “Did I get it off?”

Dean chuckled before taking a sip of his beer. “No, no. There’s nothing on your face Sweetheart.” He gave you a small smile before rubbing your cheek with his thumb.

“Dean…” Your voice trailed off. He leaned in close to you, your lips inches away from each other. He looked at your lips for a moment before looking you in the eyes. The smell of beer wafted in the air along with the sweet scent of your lavender lotion that he had secretly loved. Leaning in, your lips gently crashed against each other. Initially, this was not Dean’s plan. He had no intentions of kissing you in this moment, but it was something that he didn’t regret. Kissing you in this moment would be the first, but definitely not the last time he would be.

A few weeks after that moment, the two of you had officially gotten together. “Finally.” Sam had said to him.

Dean looked at you as you added another part to the fire. The way the light of the fire hit your face seemed so similar to the way the moonlight had hit your face from one of his favorite memories. “How’s it comin’ Sweetheart?” He asked.

You looked up at him, tossing the last piece into the fire. To your surprise, the parts were actually burning quite nicely. “That was the last piece.” You said, walking over to Dean. You stood on the opposite side of the entrance, leaning similarly to the way he was. You crossed your arms and looked out. The sky was still the same shade of gray; you didn’t even know if the sky was changing here, and even if it was, you hadn’t noticed. “I’m surprised there were no visitors while we were doing this.”

“Me too, especially from the smell.” Whenever you guys salted and burned the bones, there really wasn’t a smell coming from the bones anymore due to there being no remnants of fresh left. But burning this creature that was freshly killed with all of its fur, blood, and guts still intact, the smell was intoxicatingly strong. The smell of blood was something that didn’t bother either of you in the slightest; it was a scent that you had to get used to when it came to this way of life, but the smell of the guts was what was getting to you, as you could have sworn that there was still the previous meal of what it had eaten still decomposing in it’s stomach when you killed it.

Your Parents House

Your parents along with Sam were at the dining room table, various books were open to different pages that may or may not had something to do with Purgatory. As your parents were searching through the books, Sam was on his laptop doing his own research. It was strange the way Sam was feeling; he had wanted more than anything to find you, to find Dean, to find Cas. He wanted to be reunited with the three of you, because having the three of you in his life felt like there was some kind of direction in it, because hunting was one of the only things that he had ever known. But there was a part of him that strangely wanted to give up looking for three of you because of something that Dean and him agreed on: Don’t look, live your life.

When Sam had gone into the pit a few years ago, and before you and Dean had decided to leave the hunting life for a little over a year, the first couple of months were spent trying to find a way to get Sam back, but two of you kept hitting dead ends. After months of nothing, you and Dean gave up searching, gave up hope that there was a way to get Sam back. So the two of you had decided to give up the life – at least for a little while. Dean trying to make a living in construction, while you were trying to make a living as an EMT.

Despite there being an agreement between him and Sam, that agreement was something that you weren’t a part of; and that was one of the reasons as to why Sam had wanted to try to at least get you out, even if he couldn’t find a way to save Dean and Cas too. Getting you out, if he couldn’t get Dean and Cas out, is something that he knew Dean would agree with.

“Is this something?” Your father turned the book toward Sam so he could read it. “It looks like some kind of spell.”

“Let me see that.” Sam said, taking the book from your fathers hands. Sam examined the page, and it appeared to be in a language that he wasn’t far too familiar with; possibility a dead language. The picture next to it showed a hand drawn image of a gray forest, the only ounce of color being two red dots that had similar appearance to eyes. “Huh.”

Your parents looked at Sam, both giving him a questioning look as if to say, ‘Can you tell us more?’ “Sam?” Your mom asked.

Sam looked up from the page and looked at your parents, his fingers gingerly playing with the edges. “I don’t think it’s a spell. But, the language this is written in is something I haven’t seen before. I’m gonna have to do some digging.” In times like these, he wished that he had you or Bobby – you two were experts when it came to reading dead languages, or languages that he wasn’t too familiar with.

Sam and Dean were sitting at a two seater table next to a window, each of them with a book in front of them. You on the other hand were sitting in one of the motel room beds, the one you and Dean were sharing; sitting on your laptop. “Hey Y/N?” Sam asked. You looked up from your laptop screen, and Sam got up from the chair that he was sitting in. He walked over to you with the book that he was reading and started to hand it to you. “Can you tell me what this says?”

You took the book from him and looked at the pages. “Sammy, you and Dean are gonna have to learn to read this eventually. I’m not always gonna be here.” You said, in a kind of joking manner.

All of a sudden, Dean banged one of his fists onto the table, making you and Sam jump. “Don’t you dare say that!” Dean yelled, his tone of voice scaring both you and Sam.

“I’m just being realistic hon.” You said to him, your voice sounding a lot calmer than his had been. When you had spoke using your calming voice, Dean’s face started to calm down, his shoulders that were once tensed up started to relax again. Dean knew that you were right; it was just the life that you guys were dealt, but you not being in his life, their lives was something that he didn’t even want to think about. Dean had promised your parents – your mom specifically – that he would do everything in his power to protect you, even if that was the last thing he would do.

Purgatory

You and Dean had left the safety of the cave, not wanting to stay in one place for too long just in case. You didn’t want to get comfortable in a place for too long that would cause the two of you to let your guard down; because letting your guard down – especially here, was going to be a death sentence.

As the two of you walked, each of you held your respected hunting knives in hand just in case something decided to pick a fight. But something was strange while the two of you were walking – it was quiet, too quiet. Usually, Purgatory was full of some kind of sound – leaves rustling, the sounds of growling, running. But right now, there was nothing of the sorts, and that was something that was starting to scare you. You put your hand out, stopping Dean from walking any further. He looked at you, about to speak but you placed your finger in front of your mouth. “Shhh.” You looked around, and you felt yourself tense up, not completely knowing why. Dean followed your eyes, looking around, but he wasn’t sure what you were looking at.

“You hear something?” Dean whispered. “Cause I don’t hear anything Sweetheart.”

“That’s the point.” You turned to him, whispering too. “I don’t hear anything. Something’s wrong.”

The two of you heard a twig snap, which caused the two of you to get into a defensive stance with your bodies and weapons. “Hello Y/N.” A male voice said – a voice that you hadn’t heard in years; a voice that you thought you would never hear again. The man who had spoke your name came out from behind the tree, flashing you a flirty smile – a smile that you thought too, that you would never see again; a smile that had always made your heart flutter. “Fancy seeing you here.”

As the man came out from behind the tree, you started to lower your weapon, something that Dean noticed instantly. He gave you a concerning look, almost confused in nature as he was unsure why you had started to lower your weapon upon seeing this man. “Sweetheart, you know this guy?” Dean asked. Although you had started to lower your guard, that was something that Dean was not going to do, not by a long shot.

The man before the two of you grinned; seeming amused by the fact that Dean had called you Sweetheart. “Well, Sweetheart. Are you going to introduce us?” The man said, stepping even closer now – he was only a few feet away. The man in question was handsome, similar in stature to that of Dean, but had similar hair to Sam’s – both in color and length. He had on a leather jacket, a red graphic t-shirt underneath, dark wash denim jeans that were slightly tattered, and Timberland boots. Despite being in this place, he looked rather cleaned up, but there were still places in which blood and dirt could be seen on his pale skin.

Putting your hunting knife away, you looked at Dean, almost sighing, embarrassed that you had known this man before you. This was someone that you had thought you would never see again. “Dean this is…Elijah. Elijah, this is Dean.”

“Elijah? Who the fuck is Elijah?” Dean questioned, looking between you and him. Elijah simply kept up his flirty grin, he couldn’t help but overhear your heartbeat. It had given him a small amount of pleasure that even after all this time, your heart still beat rapidly for him.

“He’s my…” You took a deep breath, dreading saying the next word, afraid of how Dean was going to react. “He’s my ex-boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry, I must of misheard of you. Because there’s no way you just said this guy is your ex.” Dean was honestly filled with disbelief, not really knowing how to react to this kind of news. He knew that you had dated people before him – hell, even he dated a few women somehow before he had met you, but he never would have guessed that one of your exes would be someone that he would end up meeting – let alone meeting them here, a place that was simply a land of monsters.

“She didn’t stutter.” Elijah said, his voice amused.

Dean pointed at Elijah, his face full of anger. “I’m not talking to you.” Dean turned to you, waiting for some kind of an answer. Your face was flushed, and he could tell that you were embarrassed, ashamed of what you had just told him. “Sweetheart…” Dean tried to calm his voice, but there was still lots of anger in it.

“He’s the reason I got into hunting in the first place.” You explained.

Tag List: @alternativeprincess @roseblue373 @geekmom3 @rach5ive @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @winchester-sinchester @nelachu2423 @ladysparkles78 @cassiopeasmith @beansproutmafia

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x you #dean x reader #spn imagine #supernatural imagine #spn one shot #supernatural one shot #supernatural: purgatory #female reader #reader insert

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me-and-my-3lovers · 4 months

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A Bond Never Meant to Be

Alpha!Castiel x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Apocalypse!Castiel

What happens when you are trapped in a room, ready to be tortured by your boyfriend’s evil doppelgänger?

MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: SELF HARM/ MUTILATION, SUICIDE, Forced Claiming, angst, Torture, There are other ones I just can't think of

Masterlist

Italics are your thoughts

"You are quite the interesting specimen." The voice sounded like Cas but not quite, it was too mean, too calculating. "Take the bag off her head." He commanded. Your eyes didn't need much time adjusting to the dim room, seeing Charlie and Ketch were being tortured by angels in military gear. What towered over you was Castiel, not your Cas, he smelled smelled... off, but he looked identical. "It'll be so easy breaking an omega."

"Don't you touch her," Ketch tried to sound intimidating, but he was coughing up too much blood for that, "You'll regret it."

"There has not been an omega in this world for decades," This evil Castiel bent over to inspect you, "I wouldn't even have to break her mind like the red-head." He turned your head over to see Charlie, slumped over and unconscious. You were too scared to speak, watching as this Castiel smiled down at you. "I can smell your fear, delicious. Don't worry my little omega, I won't hurt a hair on your pretty little head. You will be telling me everything I want to know, of your own volition."

"Screw you! I will tell you nothing!"

Castiel chuckled at you little outburst. Moving closer to your ear he whispered, "You will tell me everything you know, one way or another."

You couldn’t breath, the world stopped and shattered. He claimed you.

"You Bastard!" Ketch screamed, earning himself a blow to the kidneys, "I'll kill you."

"Now, you are going to be a good little omega and tell me where the rebels are hiding," Castiel started petting your hair, "Before I have to kill both of them."

The next few moments went by in a blur, you think it was Sam and Dean, maybe Mary too, who came busting in guns blazing. Evil Castiel ran out the door while his subordinates got stabbed with angel blades. You remember Ketch trying to tell them to check on you, and then you were free, Sam cut the ropes holding you to the chair and gave you his jacket.

"You ok?" You could only nod. Sam tried to shake your shoulders before walking you outside. You were grateful for the jacket, it smelled like home.

Cas was right outside when you opened the door, you could see him stabbing his doppelgänger and then a bright flash of light. You walked over to your Cas, falling into his arms, unable to suport yourself anymore, and Cas carried you bridal style away from the building. Cas smelled wrong, he didn't smell like your mate anymore.

"Are you ok?" Cas asked when he felt your tears on his trench coat.

"I'm fine, I just want to go home." You sniffled a bit, "everything'll be fine when we get home." You were exhausted, falling asleep on your way too the base.

When you woke up you were on a bus, Charlie was sitting next to you.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to your world, the rift is still open." The bus stopped and everyone was rushing out. Charlie was right, the rift was still open, but it looked weak, like it might close at any moment.

When you tried to get up your legs gave out and you fell back on the seat, everyone on the bus evacuated except for you, stuck there like a newborn fawn. You made no attempt to get up again, or call for help, you were just laying on the bus seat, no will power left to move. You wondered if anyone would come back for you, you hoped they didn't.

Coming back would waste time they didn't have, and maybe I deserve to be stuck here. You thought to yourself. If I die, is my soul stuck here? Would Cas forgive me? He shouldn't, I someone else claimed me, taking away our life together.

"There you are sweetie,"

"Gabriel," He lifted you up and ran out of the bus.

"I know, I'm your hero, but the rift is closing and Lucifer can only hold back Michael for so long." You turned and saw Michael and Lucifer locked in combat, and Lucifer didn't look too hot. "Sam Dean! Go! I Got her!"

Sam and Dean waited until you were right behind them before going through. "It's gonna be a tight squeeze, hold on." Gabriel said, holding you tighter.

The rift closed right behind you and Gabriel, no chance for Michael or Lucifer to come back through.

"Cassie, looking for someone?" Gabriel said with a shit eating grin.

"Can you just take me to my room?" You whispered in his ear.

"But everyone is celebrating, and you haven't even seen Cas yet,"

"Please Gabe..." You sounded so weak that Gabriel listened and took you back to your room and laid you on your bed.

"I'll have Cas come back with chicken noodle soup." Gabe promised, You nodded your head before he closed your door.

You got up from your bed and went to your dresser for your hunting knife. You cut your hand and started drawing warding sigils with your blood, making sure you wouldn't have unwanted angels sneaking in. Next you grabbed a sock to try and muffle the sounds of what would come next. Moving to your sink, you turned on the water and shook off Sam's jacket, removing your shirt, you saw the mark on your neck. It looked red and angry, with dried blood all over it.

There was only one way to get rid of a mating bond.

You balled the sock up and put it in your mouth. You hesitated for a moment. This was the most painful thing an omega could ever do to them selves, and there'd be no going back from here. I'd never be able to have a mate ever again, Cas could never claim me. Is it worth it?

You plunged the knife into your mating gland, the pain crippling you. You couldn't hold back the scream the escaped you.

"Y/N!!" you could hear dishes shatter and Cas yelling outside your door, "Are You hurt?! What's going on?!" The knob jiggled but the door didn't budge, "Open the door!"

You wanted to go towards him, to have him heal you, but you couldn't. He won't be able to look me in the eyes after this, all I'll be to him is a weak disappoint. You dragged the knife through the wound to open it up enough to see inside.

"Sam, Dean!!" Cas was shouting for the brothers. "Please, open the door, let me in," he leaned on the door, "I know you're hurting, I want to help you."

The tears falling down your face weren't from the pain anymore. You don't want to help me, at least you wouldn't if you knew what he'd done. Through all the blood and tears dripping down your neck and chest, you could see your mating gland in the mirror.

"Y/N, Open this door!" You heard Dean banging on the wood, "Open it or I'm getting an axe and chopping it down!" He tried frantically jiggling the knob, "Why can't we smell you anymore? WHY CAN'T WE SMELL YOU ANYMORE?!" You heard dean bang on the door one last time before running off, probably to get the aforementioned axe.

"'Mega, please, I still need you." Cas plead through the door.

Cutting through whatever veins or soft tissue was connecting your mating gland to your body, you pulled it out and threw it in the trash can next to you. You felt light headed and airy, the world seemed dull and scentless. You closed your eyes and took a deep inhale, there was nothing, no fear or anxiety or anger in the air, just nothing. The world seemed darker too, colors weren't as sharp anymore and everything seemed to be more grey and black.

"It's ok Cas, everything's ok." you called out.

"Open the door, please!" Cas called out, "Open the door for me."

He must not have heard you, "Everything's fine." you call out again while closing your eyes, everything's fine. In fact, everything's better than fine. Life couldn't be better.

You woke up next to Cas in your bed, both of you tangled up in the bedsheets. Cas cupped your cheek and kissed you hard, "I love you so much y/n, more than you'll ever know." Cas's hand moved down to stroke your mating gland, "I can't wait to claim you 'mega."

"Well," you rolled to straddle Cas, your hands resting on his solid chest, "don't wait too long, an omega can only handle so much teasing." You chuckled, pulling Cas up for another kiss.

"Once we get back from the Apocalypse world, I promise." Cas sat up to look you in the eyes. "I'm very good at keeping my promises."

"I'll be waiting mister." You chuckled before kissing him again.

Dean finally broke through the warding and brought down your door. Cas was the first one inside and rushed to your body. You were lying on the ground, eyes closed and covered in blood, the knife still in your hand. Cas cradled you, trying to heal the wound in your neck.

Dean came around to grab Cas' shoulder. "Cas, is she...?" Dean trailed off, not being able to think about loosing you.

"She's not- she can't be-" no matter how much Cas tried, your body remained still, cold and lifeless.

#supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #castiel x reader #castiel x y/n #sam winchester #omegaverse #alpha castiel #omega reader #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins

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dotthings · 5 months

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Here's my post about Dean and the hunting life and unreliable narrators to pair with my Sam post.

In S4 while a demon manipulates Sam, angels are manipulating Dean. In 4.17 It’s a Terrible Life (written by Sera Gamble), after a despairing Dean confesses to Cas at the end of 4.16 On the Head of a Pin that he can’t do what the angels want, he’s not strong enough, Zachariah tries to nudge Dean to play his role by plunking him and Sam into a corporate boredom life Dean doesn’t want, and then tries to shame him into playing the role Zachariah wants him to play.

ZACHARIAH But after the unfortunate situation with Uriel, I felt it necessary to pay a visit. Get my ducks in a row. DEAN I am not one of your ducks. ZACHARIAH Starting with your attitude. DEAN Oh, so, what? This was all some sort of a lesson? Is that what you're telling me? Wow. Very creative. ZACHARIAH You should see my decoupage. DEAN Gross. No thank you. So, what? I'm just hallucinating all this? Is that it? ZACHARIAH Not at all. Real place, real haunting. Just plunked you in the middle without the benefit of your memories. DEAN Just to shake things up? Hm? So you guys can have fun watching us run around like ass clowns in monkey suits? ZACHARIAH To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from hell, but because it is what you are. And you love it. You'll find your way to it in the dark every single time and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this. You'll be successful. You will stop it. DEAN Stop what? The apocalypse, huh? Lucifer? What? Be specific, man. ZACHARIAH You'll do everything you're destined to do. All of it. But I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You got daddy issues. You can't do it. Right? DEAN Angel or not, I will stab you in your face. ZACHARIAH All I'm saying is it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. DEAN turns away. ZACHARIAH Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

“This isn’t a curse. It’s a gift.” Notice Zachariah trying to glamorize hunting at Dean when it’s canonically traumatizing, dangerous, and often miserable, and telling Dean to “quit whining” and suck it up because there are people worse off, while Zachariah reduces Dean’s entire personality to nothing but the hunt, referencing perks that are a simplistic take on who Dean is—the facade not the whole person. There's something not right here.

Zachariah also isn't entirely incorrect. Dean does love hunting and he does always find his way back to it and Dean’s good at it, and they get to save people. The manipulative villains in SPN often use a core thread of truth and then twist it.

But much as it’s true about Dean’s affinity for hunting, Dean’s questioning of hunting, his conflicted feelings, his love and resentment for it, the brutality of that life that SPN self-evidently shows us, has been a long-running theme in every era of SPN. Dean yearns for and thinks about things beyond just hunting. Which doesn't include working as a suit. Zachariah picks that to push Dean towards hunting, it's not meant as an exploration of Dean's deep wants and needs beyond the hunt.

Dean would never be content leaving hunting for good, but he does have an ongoing love/hate relationship with it, and it’s not all he is.

He’s more than just the hunt and the kill. Deep down Dean has known that all along, but fears that’s all he is. Zachariah was wrong. For Dean, hunting is a curse AND a gift and it never has been all gift or all curse for him.

#Dean Winchester #Dean meta

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seriesxwriting · 2 years

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We’re locked in forever

W Dean Winchester<3

Series- supernatural

Warnings- vampire killing (beheading, machete use, fighting, blood) swearing, kissing, arguing.

Summary- Dean won’t let you come out on a hunt and you start an argument because of it. Over thinking the worst you sneak out the bunker to help the Winchesters. And save your boyfriends ass.

“Y/n your not coming on the hunt- how many times” Dean shook his head at me seriously picking up his machete and placing it in his bag. I folded my arms scowling at him. “No means no your not going to change my mind” Dean stopped putting everything back down giving me his full attention.

“Your being ridiculous! I’ve watched you guys hunting for months- I’ve been in fights I know what I’m doing” I argued back at him. “You’ve never been on a hunt how can you know what your doing” he half laughed. “Are you seriously laughing right now”. Dean stopped laughing and looked like he regretted it. Sam giggled at his brother in the background. I whipped around frowning at Sam. “Are you going to back me up then?” I questioned. “I’m not getting involved in relationship drama” he shook his head holding his hands up in defence. I rolled my eyes looking back at my boyfriend.

“I will take you hunting but not today y/n, can you please just stay at the bunker and stop making this hard” Dean begged me with his eyes. “But it’s dangerous- you need all the help you can get” “cas is meeting us there” Dean picked up his bag putting it on his back. “Great so now your choosing cas over me” “cas will heal you won’t” Sam told me as he walked past. “Stay out of this Sam” me and Dean snapped at him at the exact same time. “We don’t need or want the help so your staying here” Dean told me getting pissed off now. I rolled my eyes again and left the room with tears in my eyes. I know I know! Crying over a little argument like that is pointless. It wasn’t just that, Dean never trusted me with anything supernatural. It’s like he doesn’t think I’m strong enough, smart enough, good enough.

It’s so draining when all I want to do is help out. I know he gets stressed about a lot of things supernatural based and me arguing with him isn’t going to solve anything. But I didn’t understand why he shuts me out. I sat on our bed like I always did when he went out and I wasn’t sure if he was going to return. I told myself- he’s a good hunter, and he has Sam and cas. But I’d feel better if I was with him. The paranoia crept over me as I deeply thought about the last things we said to each other. What if these were his last moments? I couldn’t let him die and I definitely couldn’t let him leave me on bad terms.

I got myself standing bravely, shoving up deans side of the mattress revealing not only a hand gun but a machete. A stained red machete but still, just what I needed. I reached for it holding it in my hands for a second swinging it a few times, just getting a feel for it again. and then ran about the rooms to collect everything I needed for my surprise appearance. I picked up the gun that Sam gave me when I finally moved in with them.

Dean never usually let me go near weapons unless we were training together. Ensuring the gun was full and the safety was on I then left mine and deans room. With that I left the bunker and closed the door shut behind me, making my way up to my car. I put my belonging on the seat next to me while placing my gun in my belt so it was close. The bullets I took were coated in dead man’s blood. Perfect for a vamp nest. Then using my phone maps I typed in the location and set off on my way. Dean was going to be pissed but I had to stand up for myself.

-Sam and Dean-

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” Sam raised an eyebrow leaning back in his chair comfortably. “No” Dean replied coldly. “Come on Dean, you know she’s ready why don’t you just give her a chance” “it’s really none of your business Sammy, so stay out of it” Dean rolled his eyes getting tired off the conversation. “I’m just saying if you don’t include her she’s going to get annoyed that your pushing her away”

“Would you take your girlfriend to this hunt?” Dean looked at his brother, frustrated. “ it’s not about that- you lied to y/n again, you’ve said that you’ll take her on hunts when everyone knows your not planning to” “SAM JUST- just stop” Dean came to a holt a little bit away from a building. “What don’t you get about the fact I don’t want to talk about it- she’s my girlfriend and I’ll handle the situation how ever I want” he scowled before jumping out of the car in a fit of rage.

“Okay fine but calm down- you go in there angry you’ll get yourself killed” Sam warned walking round to the boot which Dean had already flung open and was rooting around in. “Whatever, let’s just get this over and done with” he blanked Sam completely while gripping the machete in his right hand and hiding his gun in the back of his belt. Sam exhaled a deep breath watching Dean striding towards the danger ahead. “Dean wait!” He called out feeling almost guilty now. He’d said he wasn’t going to get involved.

Dean kicked open the wooden door of the barn and walked in like he owned the place. “Anyone home?” He yelled just as Sam caught up with him. “Dean!” Sam hissed wide eyed. But Dean completely ignored him. When no one came out sam began to walk forward while Dean scanned the room. All of a sudden Sam fell though the wooden floor into some sort of pit. “SAMMY” Dean yelled racing towards the side. He looked as if he’d hit his head, there was blood on the side.

Vampires now started to walk through the door. There was ten of them. or maybe more at second glance, all grinning at the elder Winchester brother. “We heard the winchesters were after us, wasn’t going to make it easy” one of them voiced putting a hand on her hip. Dean frowned at the group and lifted up his knife. “I’m not going to make this easy either”. With that line, the group of vampires all sprung to action lunging, growling at Dean showing their sharpe, white fangs. He slashed through them while Sammy laid knocked out in the pit and Cas was nowhere to be seen. Dean had manage to behead over half of them but now they were starting to corner him. He was grabbed by a snapping vampire and another one was coming behind him when I arrived.

I slashed the machete watching the read roll to the floor. Once Dean had finished with the provoking vamp grabbing at the front of him, he spun around gawping at me. “Always watch your back Dean, do you not know anything about hunting” I smirked feeling quite proud of myself for stepping up. “Duck!” I shouted at him and he instantly listened. I swung the blade over his head hitting the vamp in the right spot decapitating it. “I told you to stay at the bunker” my boyfriend sarcastically spoke while he continued to fight the vampires. He left only two, he claimed the man and I went after the woman pulling her hair and dragging her backwards over my leg and using my right hand to cut off her head. I saw Dean was physically fighting the vampire now and had dropped his weapon. “Dean!” I squealed distracting them both and chucking my machete on him. In one swift movement he removed the head off the vampire.

Panting he dropped the knife and looked over at me, covered in vampire blood. “I know you angry…” I trailed off when he didn’t say anything. “I just got worried- what if something went wrong and the last thing I said to you was…” as I was talking Dean walked over to me. He looked down at my tear full eyes and melted into a hug. I blinked into his chest shocked at his move, it wasn’t like Dean to just hug an argument out. Especially when I disobeyed something he was so serious about.

“I need to get Sammy and then we can talk okay” he whispered kissing my head. “Okay- wait where is Sam?” I quizzed looking around playing with deans hand in mine. He gently pulled me over to the a pit in the middle of the room. I looked down in horror swing Sam stirring. “Oh my god” I gasped covering my mouth staring at the dead humans the vampires had stacked in one of the corners. Right next to where Sam had fallen. “Sam” Dean called down to him looking quite worried.

“What- the hell happened” Sam groaned rolling onto his side and moving his hand to his head feeling the blood. “You fell in a hole and knocked yourself out you dumbass” dean chuckled leaning over and putting his hand out to his brother. “Y/n? When did you get here” Sam asked standing up wobbling slightly. “Uh- a few minutes ago- are you okay?” I worriedly frowned. “Yeah yeah” he nodded grabbing deans hand. Like the hulk Dean pulled sammy out of the pit. God he was hot. “Hey” i weakly smiled hugging him. “I’m glad your here” Sam whispered rubbing my back.

In that moment Cas ran through the doors looking ready for a fight. “Right on time cas” dean rolled his eyes, signalling at all the dead vamps on the floor. “they- they had me tied up” he pointed outside. “You were tied up- by vampires? Did you forget your an angel for a second” “well- they got the drop on me” cas blinked trying to explain himself. “Leave him alone dean, I had to save your ass” I shoved him gently, smirking cheekily. “I mean- i could have done it” Dean shrugged looking at the floor. “Uh huh” i hummed with a little grin. Dean pulled me under his arm kissing my head “come on, we need to talk” he told me leading me out of the barn, leaving Sam and cas to catch up. Dean stopped when we got outside his car.

“I…” sean started letting his eyes drop to the floor. He smiled to himself not exactly knowing what to say. The Winchester pulled me closer to him by my hips. “I’ve never done this- before” he shook his head speaking to me softly. “I don’t want to ruin what we have but I can’t lose you and- I can’t protect you if I’m busy- when we’re out here you can’t be my priority and I don’t like that I’m not comfortable with that” Dean explained to me clearly upset about the situation at hand. “Dean you don’t…” “…please y/n just let me get it all out I need to explain it correctly” “okay” I nodded reaching up to his neck looking into his eyes. “I trust You I respect you but I’ve lost so many people y/n so if I have to piss you off to keep you safe…” he trailed off but I understood the gist.

“Dean, I can’t sit at home and wait for you to come back anymore everything you’ve said is completely valid but I feel the same way, how can I look out for you if you don’t include me” I asked him seriously in a calm manner not wanting an argument. “Y/n i don’t need looking out for im used to this, your not” Dean reminded me. “You’ve got to stop saying that to me- I’ve been taught by the best, the unstoppable Winchester brothers” I smiled lightly. “Are you trying to sweet talk me” Dean laughed a little. “Depends- is it working?” I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Maybe A little” dean shrugged growing a little grin. “Dean- you saw I was completely fine today right?- right?” I pushed him for an answer. He nodded his head slightly “yeah, you were amazing today” dean finally admitted. “You saved my ass” “I want to be out here with you because I’m here for the long run Dean, I’m not going anywhere we’re locked in”. He sat on that for a second thinking on what he wanted to say. “So am I y/n- I’m just- scared” he admitted showing a venerable side i didn’t see in Dean Winchester often.

“Dean” whispering, I pulling his face to look at me. “So am I, but I’m not going to stay in that house while your out here risking your life- I love you okay, I need you to trust me i have your back and I know you have mine” “what- what did you just say?” Dean stuttered but a smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. “I meant it” “I love you too- so fine, your my partner in life and this is my life” he told me finally giving in rubbing my cheek with his thumb. “Really?” I grinned almost getting emotional. No I was getting emotional, a tear fell onto deans thumb.

“Yes- I meant every word hun, especially about me having your back- seriously if anyone puts there hands on you I’ll kill them, bring them back from hell and repeat again and again” he whispered nodding his head. “Shut up” I laughed wiping my happy tears away. “But thank you Dean- you have no idea how much this means to me and I know it’s hard for you to let down your walls” I practically starting jumping on the spot making him laugh. “Anything for you angel- anything”

I leant up on my tiptoes to kiss the man. The man I was in love with. “What’s happening to me why have I turned soft” Dean laughed against my lips. “You haven’t gone completely soft” I giggled playing with the bottom of his hair. “Oh yes he has” Sam and cas appeared grinning at us as I leant my head on deans shoulder smiling happily.

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watchingspnagain · 6 months

Text

Rewatching When the Levee Breaks

Welcome to “Sam’s Got the DTs (Dimples, Tortured): A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s4e21: When the Levee Breaks

Dean and Bobby keep Sam locked in the panic room, trying to detox him from the demon blood. Sam’s pleading and screaming clearly bother Dean, but they agree that they don’t really have other options. Sam hallucinates all manner of things, including his mother, himself as a teen, and his brother who calls him a monster. Dean calls on Cas for help, who says that Sam likely could kill Lilith but he’d have to drink so much demon blood that he’d no longer be human. He tells Dean that he’s the only one who can stop the apocalypse, and Dean reluctantly swears loyalty to heaven. Cas then, unbeknownst to Dean or Bobby, lets Sam out of the panic room. Bobby catches Sam trying to leave the property, but can’t shoot him. Sam knocks him out and goes to find Ruby, who tells him that there are only a few seals left and Lilith is the only one who can break the last one. Anna comes to Cas to berate him for his actions, but he protests that he is acting on orders before more angels arrive and capture Anna. Sam and Ruby are ready to leave to meet up with a demon Ruby says is close to Lilith, but Dean finds them and tries to kill Ruby. He and Sam fight, and Sam nearly knocks Dean out. As Sam is leaving, Dean tells him that if he leaves he should never come back.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

[and we begin:]

Lor:

"if it smells like a duck"?

Mace:

Sam is so hot when he’s mad

Lor:

he IS

Mace:

your Dean is being a butt

Lor:

aw but lookit how tortured he is about it

Mace:

is he though?

i think we’ve seen him much more so

Lor:

well. that's probably true

Mace:

the self-righteousness is helping with it

Lor:

he's in a mood

Mace:

ew gross this dude

DONT YOU TOUCH MY STRINGBEAN

Lor:

right?

ooof, Sammy. your mind is being so mean to you

"oh wait. no one ever wrote one" BOBBY

Mace:

SUCK DIRT AND DIE RUFUS

Lor:

"suck dirt and die" HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

"he knows"

"you look just awful" SNORK

Mace:

christ he’s hot

Lor:

right? he's all sweaty and tortured

Mace:

YES

Lor:

look, MARY

Mace:

yeah she’s the worst

DIMPLE

TORTURED DIMPLE

Lor:

YAAAS

Mace:

he could just…embrace the evil? I’d still love him…more prolly

Lor:

YES

Mace:

Look, Cas, don’t confuse Chosen One with One You Want to Bone

Lor:

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

"if it gives you comfort to see it that way" ooooooof

Mace:

“say it” oooo, dom vibes

Lor:

omg the LOOKS they are giving each other

Mace:

right?

Lor:

"now you wait" PREFERABLY ON YOUR KNEES

Mace:

guys, stand a smidge closer, why don’t you

Lor:

LOLOLOL

"i'm sorry. you prefer sucker?"

Mace:

“the angel’s bitch” a little on the nose there Bobby

Lor:

lolololol

"that's a little too much nothing"

Mace:

toddler parent speak

Lor:

LOL

CLOSE THE DOOR

Mace:

well i think Bobby may actually have been born in a barn, so

Lor:

haahahahaha

Mace:

yeah, dean, quit hurting Sammy

Lor:

omg Dean, your face

Sam's hallucination of Dean has a collar that is VERY popped and real Dean's collar is not at all popped

Mace:

interesting!

Cas, what are you up to

Lor:

poor nugget. doing what heaven tells him to

Mace:

yeah Anna, go away

Oooh, I don’t like that she calls him Cas. Only the boys get to call him that

Lor:

right?

Mace:

oh honey

Lor:

oooof

"i am on call, in my car on the way to murder the bitch"

Mace:

sigh simmer down, dude

Lor:

lol

Mace:

oh sweet jesus that was hot

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

“I know that kid”

I love that he thinks of him as a kid, always

Lor:

YES

and that he really does know him that well, even though Sam thinks he doesn't

like, Dean HAS been a dick to him, but he does really care

Mace:

yeah

Lor:

mmm slicked back hair

Mace:

meh

not my jam

not on him at least

Lor:

that's why he wears it all loose and luscious most of the time

Mace:

YAS

yeah, Dean, stop being a dick

ah, we’ve entered Bigot Dean era. Awesome.

Lor:

yeeeeeah he sure has some trouble with his grayness sometimes

oh Dean. do NOT say that to Sammy

Mace:

Dean, don’t draw lines like that. not cool

Lor:

i mean. Sammy, don't choke out Dean, either. but.

for real, Dean. you know what that means to Sam. don't say that

Mace:

he had it coming

Lor:

squinty eyes

Mace:

i know you love him, but it’s really hard for me to like Dean right now. so self-righteous and I-Know-Best and hypocritical

oh, Sammy’s the monster? Who loves torturing people in Hell, Dean? Huh? WHO?!

Lor:

yeah, he loses me at the monster bit. it's like, is this an addiction or isn't it? cause if you're gonna be all "addiction intervention we have to help you bc you are not capable of helping yourself right now" you can't turn around and be all "you're evil" 12 hours later

(I also kind of don't buy it. it feels like bad writing for Dean. I don't think he ever gives up on his little brother Sammy, and this turn to "you're the monster" feels like giving up on him)

Mace:

OR - hear me out - it IS in line with what we know of Dean: He’s not giving up here on Sam so much as he’s giving up on himself and his ability to save Sam. “Sam is a monster” = “I’m a complete failure as a brother and human garbage because I can’t save Sam from whatever is happening to him, which is just further proof that I’M the monster, but I’m not self-aware enough to understand all this, so I’m taking it out on little bro because Dad never taught me how to figure out feels.” See? It all comes back to John being a Major Bag O’ Dicks.

Lor:

HA! I am HERE for all interpretations that make it John’s fault. That dillweed

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 4x21 #spn #supernatural #spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 4x21 #watchingspnagain john #watchingspnagain sam's blood drinking

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crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell · 1 year

Text

Crowley's accent in 7x23 is so hot if you know what I mean. Especially the accent he has when he tells Cas he's vital

I also think Crowley looks his absolute best in this episode

Intelligence? His intelligence was so top tier in this episode I want to give it 3 points rather than 1

He knew to have a vial of his blood ready so Dick wouldn't kill him

He knew Cas would be able to see through the meatsuits

He gathered information about the God weapon. This is a really big deal because information on the leviathan is so rare and so hard to come by, that the only source we know of is one rock that can only be translated by one person. Crowley finding out information about a leviathan weapon is huge and information gathering is one of his greatest strengths

The contract never said he couldn't give Sam and Dean his blood. It just said he had to give them the wrong blood. Which he did off screen. The first bone Dick was stabbed with had normal demon blood but the second bone had Crowley's blood thus Crowley didn't break his deal

Crowley's plan killed Dick Roman and sent Cas and Dean to Purgatory. Leaving Sam on his own and Sam's really not that into hunting tbh

The contract was written in Latin

Sassy?

You're off your rocker!

Where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur

Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles I suppose

Funny in general

To a mutation like me? Tired of swimming in hot garbage are we?

I do so like this part. Don't you? 😈

Now that I think about it it might have been extremely satisfying to have the episode where Dick and Crowley talk in the limo right before this one but oh well

Ngl but Crowley and Dick had so much alpha male energy in the room

Bravery

He looked at Cas, an angel, far more powerful than him before he even knew that Cas was sick and growled at Cas that he wanted to crush Cas between his teeth

He's very flirty with Dick and unlike other demons he attempts to get out of this through business rather than violence

Crowley in this episode is 10 out of 10

Top tier

Sometimes it's about the quality not the quantity

#crowley spn #supernatural #castiel #the crowley tour #spn 7x23 #dick roman #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn review #spn theory

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blessyourhondahurley · 2 years

Text

Time to Cowboy Up

Dean and Cas's relationship reaches a milestone, of sorts. Quite a lot changes as a result.

Suptober prompt: Smoke Flufftober prompt: Accidents don’t just happen accidentally Fictober prompt: "What are you doing?" Inktober prompt: Armadillo

(Read on AO3)

“So I'm freakin' out, right? There's smoke everywhere, Sam's yellin' for me in the other room. I think I'm about ta finally gank this thing, so I take a beat, get my shotgun ready, kick open the door, and you know what I see?”

Dean pauses in his boisterous recounting of a long-past hunt to look at Cas expectantly. He takes his eyes off the road for far longer than would be considered safe by any reasonable being. Cas assumes that this means he actually wants a response, that the pause is not simply rhetorical.

“The ghost?” he offers. He's sure this is the wrong answer, but he thinks it's the answer that he is expected to give at this point in the anecdote.

Dean points at him and grins, crowing, “NO!!” and Cas congratulates himself for reading the situation correctly. He continues, “I barge into the room and sitting right there in front of me, smug as you please, is the biggest, fattest mama armadillo I've ever seen. She's surrounded by like a dozen little babies. They're crawling all over the furniture, popping in and out of holes in the baseboard. Turns out they were what was causing all the weird signs. No ghost, no beast, no haunting, just armadillos in the walls. Fuckin' Texas, man!!”

The pleased, proud feeling Cas had been enjoying after participating in Dean's telling of his story morphs into something sharp, urgent, external. He turns to look over at Dean and finds he's already looking back. There's a fond expression on his handsome face. A number that Cas has been mentally incrementing for more than a decade clicks over. He reaches across the bench seat and puts his palm on Dean's thigh.

The car swerves briefly onto the shoulder, and Dean rights it with a muttered shit. He looks down at his own lap, then over at the passenger seat.

“Uhh, Cas?” he drawls. “What are you doing?”

“It was an accident.” He keeps his expression neutral, his tone soft. The urgent feeling that Cas had picked up is roiling now – conflicting emotions stuffed into a single wavelength, all warring for bandwidth.

“Okay, well, your hand is still on my leg.”

“It's still an accident,” he replies primly. This is the setup and punchline of a joke Dean told him once in late 2014. As he'd hoped, Dean laughs, and the conflict of emotions calms a bit.

The hunter changes his grip on the steering wheel – from 10 and 2 he moves to 12 and 6. The hand at 6 is very, very close to Cas's hand on his thigh. “Well, y'know, accidents don’t just happen accidentally,” the hunter says with a weak attempt at a chuckle.

“That is a self-contradictory tautology,” Cas points out.

“If you say so...” Dean says absently. He's looking down at his lap again, at the hand on his leg, and giving the road only occasional glances. Cas becomes concerned for their safety.

“Should we pull over?” he suggests. “You seem distracted.”

Dean nods, steers onto a patch of grass off the shoulder, and kills the Impala's engine. Now that they're no longer driving, he seems compelled to stare fixedly out the front windshield. Cas notes the irony there but decides not to comment on it. Instead, he keeps his hand where it is, warm against firm muscle under denim, and waits.

“What's going on here?” Dean finally mutters, still looking straight ahead.

“Did you know that I can hear longing? That it functions much like a prayer?” he asks in reply.

That gets Dean's attention. He snaps his head around to look Cas full in the face. His eyes are wide, startled. “What,” he says hoarsely.

“I can hear it, Dean. When you think about me, when you wish that I would touch you, I can hear it. I've been hearing it for years. At first I thought little of it, assumed it was merely a byproduct of the touch-deprived life you lead. But soon these... These prayers began to torment me. I wanted to answer them, you see. I wanted to fulfill the hunger you felt. I wanted to put my hands on you, to give you pleasure, to show you all of the hunger I felt for you in return.”

He pauses. Dean blinks and takes a gulp of air as if belatedly realizing he'd been holding his breath.

Cas continues: “I promised myself that I wouldn't do anything, that I would wait for you to decide what you would do with that hunger. But my... Desire for you was so strong. It burned inside me. So I had to make myself a different promise: If I heard that prayer from you ten thousand more times, I would act on the next one. I would reach out. And tonight, just now, makes ten thousand and one times that you have wished for me to touch you. So I'm acting. I'm reaching out. And now it's for you to decide what happens next.”

Dean swallows, takes his hand off of 6, and puts it on top of Cas's. They move towards each other at the same moment, and meet in the middle.

#suptober22 #flufftober2022 #fictober22 #destiel #supernatural #day 15

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