#and how the fuck can you claim dean is straight and then want him to bone his brother? it doesn't make sense

[the-rollerchloster]

Just feeling a little salty so I want to throw a thought out into the universe...

Has anyone ever considered that when you make your entire online personality about being anti something - by filling your blog with anti tags, or actively searching out posts/blogs to publicly berate - that you just look like a sore loser?

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Showed Me (How I Fell In Love With You)

masterlist

summary: dean helps you up your flirting game, but there’s really only one set of eyes you want on you.

paring: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 2.7k

warnings: language, implied sex/nudity, strands of hair falls on reader’s face

author’s note: you probably already know this but sideblogs (like this one) can now answer comments!! super excited about this update and fingers crossed the next one is for sending asks lol 🤞💞

music: showed me (how i fell in love with you) by madison beer — i was listening to this song and kept imagining dean, idk

Dean always had incredible luck with women. He could go into a bar crowded with guys and walk out with the only woman—the bartender who’d been dodging men all night.

You, on the other hand, could go into that same bar and end up going back to the motel alone. It bothered you; what in the hell were you doing wrong?

So, you did the unthinkable—you asked Dean to help you get better at flirting.

That’s how you ended up here at the bar with Dean; he was showing you how to play pool. You had protested the idea of him “teaching you” something you already knew, but he claimed it was important.

“You’re standing wrong,” he told you when you were about to break.

“Uh, no I’m not?”

“If you’re trying to win the game, you’re doing great. If you’re trying to get your opponent to fuck you, you’re failing miserably.”

“Thanks,” you grumbled.

“Hey, you were the one who asked me for help!” He shrugged. “If you want to back out now-”

“No, I don’t want to back out,” you sighed. “I’m fucking desperate at this point.”

“So, are you gonna do what I say, then?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest.

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “How am I supposed to stand?”

He walked up behind you and put his hands on your hips.

“Stick your butt out a little,” he instructed and you did as he asked. “Alright, now when you bend over,” he moved his hands up and forward, resting them on your lower chest, “you’ll want to point your breasts in the direction of the person you want to attract.”

“What if he’s standing behind me?” you asked.

“Then his eyes are gonna be glued to your ass,” he replied, not getting the message. “If he’s standing behind you then focus more on the actual game, and less on where you’re pointing your boobs. Trust me, though, if he’s standing in front of you, he’s gonna be trying to see down your shirt, now…” he walked back around to the other side of the table. “Bend over, and before you hit the ball, make eye contact with him.”

“Okay…” You bent down and lined up your shot before looking up and into Dean’s eyes.

“Perfect! If you look at him kinda like through your eyelashes, there’s exactly one thing that’s suddenly stuck front and center in his mind.”

“And this works on…all guys?” you asked, still looking at him through your lashes.

“If he was standing where I am and didn’t want to fuck you, he’s either related to you or just not into chicks.”

“Good to know,” you mumbled, mostly to yourself. You were about to start the game but a few strands of hair fell on your face.

“Don’t move,” Dean said before he hurried back to where he had been before and tucked the hair behind your ear for you. “Now, since he’s already thinking about that one thing, is that something you want him to think about even more?”

“Um, yeah,” you said quietly.

“Alright, pout your lips,” he instructed. He moved his hand down from your ear and tugged your lip out a bit. “Perfect, that’s gonna draw his attention to your lips.”

“So, now I start actually playing the game?” you asked, not sure if he had any more pointers for you.

“If you want. Or we can go over to the bar where there are three different guys that have been eyeing you the past ten minutes.”

“Really?” you stood up straight, whipping your head around. You saw the guys he was talking about and they all quickly looked down at the drinks in front of them. “Let’s go to the bar, then.”

“So, now that you know all those guys are interested,” Dean said as you both took your seats at the bar, several stools away from the other people already there, “you need to pick one.”

“Isn’t that the easy part?” you laughed a little.

“Oh no, most guys are monsters.” Dean shook his head, motioning the bartender over with his hand. “What’re you drinking?” he asked, looking at you.

“Just a beer’s fine,” you said, a little confused. Usually when you, Sam, and Dean went out drinking you each ordered your own drinks. Dean took initiative and ordered two beers. “And I know before taking someone back to my room I have to do the usual tests; holy water, iron, and silver.”

“Not those kinda monsters, sweetheart,” Dean said. “The guy on the far right has a little motor home keychain attached to his keys. Given the fact there’s a dilapidated RV parked outside that looks like a serial killer’s lair, I’d say he’s a creep.”

“Well, what about the guy in the middle?” you asked.

“I heard him talking with someone on the phone in the bathroom earlier about the fact his ex-girlfriend doesn’t know she got the clap from him.”

“Dear lord,” you groaned, making a disgusted face. “What’s wrong with the guy on the left?”

“Well, uh…” Dean started, looking at the man you were talking about and trying to find something wrong with him. “Nothing. If he comes over here, I’d say it’s worth a shot.”

“Shouldn’t I go and talk to him?” you asked.

“Oh no! No, no, no! Bar like this, pretty girl like you; he’ll think you’re a hooker.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, unless you wanna make a couple hundred bucks tonight?” he teased, earning a smack to his upper arm. “I’ll take that as a no,” he laughed.

“I’d make at least four-hundred,” you scoffed.

“Look, you’re cute and sweet and guys tend to turn their heads when you walk by them. Now, for your next lesson, take a look around the bar and tell me how many women you see.”

You looked around, counting in your head. “Five, including me and the bartender,” you said.

“And how many guys?”

“I’d say like twenty at least?” you estimated.

“Exactly,” he said. “See, at least half of those guys have their eyes on you. When we were playing pool earlier I guarantee you they’d have done anything to be where I was.”

“So…what’s your point?”

“You’re way above any of these guys’ leagues.” He shrugged. “Which is okay, but you need to know that you’re too good for them, just a fact. They’re spending their Wednesday night in a bar looking for a hookup, you came here to get a drink with your friend. So, like I said, you are in fact way out of their leagues.”

“You really think so?”

“Please tell me you’re joking,” he laughed a little then looked at you and realized you were serious. “Oh dear god, yes! Not only are you fucking gorgeous, you’re smart, funny and a total badass! I mean you killed two vampires this morning!”

“Thanks, Dean.” You smiled.

“Of course,” he replied. “Now, before we head back to the motel is there anything else? You know how to kiss someone, right?”

“Ha, ha!” You smiled sarcastically. “I know how to kiss, Dean. But, I actually do have a question.”

“Shoot!”

“What about…the friend zone?”

“You wanna know how to friend zone a guy?” He furrowed his brows.

“No, how do I get out of the friend zone?”

“Oh.” He nodded. “That’s, um, I’m actually not sure. And I didn’t think you had friends?”

“Again, very funny Dean,” you laughed somewhat sarcastically. “What if I’m good friends with a guy and I really like him, but I’m scared to tell him because I don’t want to lose the friendship?”

“Look, Sam loves you but he doesn’t see you…that way,” he said.

“It’s not Sam, dumbass,” you said. “I have plenty of friends! And there’s this one friend, who’s a guy that I really like. I don’t think he feels the same way, but it’s driving me absolutely crazy that I can’t just tell him.”

“I, uh, I don’t know. I mean, I always think the guy has more to lose if that situation goes south, cause he’ll always be attracted to the girl but she might…get bored with him.”

“But what if the guy doesn’t like me back? What if I tell him and he says ‘gross, you’re like a sister to me’?”

“If he does see you as a sister, he’s not gonna say ‘gross’ when you tell him how you feel?”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I know Sam and he’d be lucky to have a girl like you.”

“It’s not Sam, you moron!” you exclaimed, a little louder than intended.

“…Garth?”

“What if the guy I really like is also really dumb?” you asked.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say Garth is dumb…”

“Oh my god,” you groaned. “Yeah, never mind.” You put your face in your hands for a moment before starting to drink the beer Dean had ordered for you. He watched you with furrowed brows and it felt like an eternity (really it was about sixty seconds) before he suddenly broke the silence.

“Holy shit!” he exclaimed. “Is it…me?”

“I’m sorry,” you said, looking over at him. “I didn’t plan on letting that slip tonight, I swear.”

“But, it is me? You like me?” Dean asked, you nodded. “Oh my fucking god!”

You couldn’t tell if he was happy and you were beginning to really worry.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. You turned on your chair to leave but he gripped your upper arm and kept you in place.

“No, don’t—fuck! I feel like I just won the fucking lottery and I just need a second to catch up.”

“Wait, you’re happy? You…You like me too?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded, “I may be stupid but I’m not an idiot.”

“Well…” you teased.

He rolled his eyes, still smiling; “Just let me kiss you, already,” Dean muttered. He put his hands on your cheeks, stood up off his chair, leaned toward you, and kissed you deeply. His hands moved to your shoulders then down to your lower back as you put your hands on his cheeks.

“Wait,” you mumbled, pulling back slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, you’re incredible! I’m just now realizing how many creepy guys are staring at me.”

“Told ya,” he said, taking a look around the bar.

“Could we, maybe…head to your motel room?” you asked somewhat nervously.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Hundred percent.” You nodded vigorously, looking at his lips then up and into his bright green eyes. “Unless…you don’t want to?”

“Oh I definitely want to, I’ve wanted to since Sam and I picked you up after he left Stanford,” he said.

“And you didn’t say anything? Dean, it’s been like ten years?” You furrowed your brows then noticed he actually seemed a little embarrassed. “For the record, I’ve wanted to kiss you for about twelve.” His eyes widened.

“What? Wow, I guess we’re both a little stupid,” he laughed a little before leaning in for another kiss.

“Excuse me, Winchester?” You quirked a brow, looking at him.

“I mean, you’re smart, so smart,” he rambled a little. “And sexy, so fucking sexy.” He kissed you and you kissed him back, smiling against his mouth. “Let’s get the hell outta here, sweetheart.”

“Mmh, just another minute,” you mumbled, not wanting to stop kissing him.

He pulled away after a moment, both of you smiling.

“My god you’re beautiful.” He smiled, putting a hand on your cheek.

You hopped off the stool but stayed looking into his eyes; “You’re so fuckin’ hot, Dean Winchester,” you mumbled and kissed him again, pulling him down by the collar of his jacket.

He pulled out his wallet and was about to pay for both drinks but you stopped him.

“What’s wrong?”

“If you pay for my drink then this would count as our first date,” you said.

“Huh, I didn’t think of it like that,” he replied. “Alright, we each pay for our own drinks.”

“Exactly.” You nodded and took out your own wallet, each of you leaving a ten on the counter. “Now, shall we go to your motel room?”

“I’m sharing a room with Sammy,” he said.

“My motel room it is.” You pulled him down again and kissed him.

“Lead the way.”

**

You woke up to the sound of Dean snoring lightly behind you and a smile formed on your lips as you recalled what had happened only a few hours ago. You felt Dean’s arm snake around your waist and he pulled you closer to him.

You assumed he was awake now and you turned to kiss him but he was actually still snoring. The thought that he wanted you closer to him even when he was sleeping made your smile deepen.

A wave of calmness washed over you, followed by an unnerving idea; how serious was Dean when he said he liked you?

Did he think this was a one-and-done situation? Were he and Sam just gonna drive off in that beautiful Impala and leave you to start hunting alone?

You hadn’t hunted alone since re-connecting with the Winchesters back in ‘05. Before that you’d been hunting alone or with Dean while Sam was in college. Before that you’d hunted with your dad, who occasionally worked with John.

You honestly didn’t really remember the first time you met Dean. You were both just kids and you blocked out a lot of your childhood due to the fact you’d been hunting your whole life. (It was actually a similar story to Dean’s—after a monster killed your mom, your dad became obsessed with hunting and seemed to forget he was a father with a four-year-old in the back seat of his pickup truck.)

What you did remember was the first time hunting alone with Dean. You were twenty-two and (finally) not hunting with your dad when you ran into Dean who was also hunting alone. He had recently had some kind of falling out with Sam, who had been at Stanford a couple years already. You remembered how Dean reacted to the fact you were hunting alone.

He was genuinely worried for your safety and insisted he hunt with you for a while. You took him up on the offer and spent a couple months together before parting ways but still staying in touch.

You were drawn back to the present when Dean let out a breath of air as he stirred awake.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, a smile on his full lips when he opened his eyes. He sat up on his elbow and tilted your chin up with his finger. “My god, how are you so beautiful?” You giggled a little before he bent down and kissed you.

He sat up further and slipped an arm under you, bringing you to the center of the bed. He caged you beneath him by putting his hands on either side of you as your hands went into his already ruffled hair. You brought him back down and kissed him again, his left hand moving again and trailing down your side, bringing your bare thigh up to graze his own.

You could tell where things were going so you stopped him, “Dean.”

“Y/n,” he mumbled back.

“Dean, wait,” you said quietly.

“What is it?” he asked, looking down at you.

“How, um, how serious is this?” you asked.

“What?” He furrowed his brows a little.

“Is this a one-night thing?”

“Oh,” he realized. “Um, it can be, if that’s what you want.”

“Is that…what you want?” you asked.

He looked into your eyes and slowly shook his head negatively, your smile returning to your flushed face.

“I was kinda thinking this would be at least a two-night thing,” he said, showing off his adorable smirk and making you roll your eyes a little. He bent down and kissed you. “Maybe a three-night thing.”

“A four-night thing?” you teased.

“I think you’re gonna be stuck with me for a lot longer than that, sweetheart,” he mumbled into your mouth.

“You really think?” you asked, smiling.

“Hate to break it to you, but I’m kinda in love with you.” He stopped kissing you, realizing what he said. “I, uh, I mean, not—fuck, I really am. I’m sorry.”

“Dean,” you interrupted his spiraling, “I’m kinda in love with you too.”

“Oh thank goodness,” he whispered and kissed you again.

[holylulusworld]

Omega by nature

Summary: You're an omega by nature.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, a/b/o, chasing, a hint of fear, OOC Dean, character's death

Sequel to: Beta in heart

A/N: Part 2/3

A few minutes before Dean came back to the bunker, …

Your eyes snap open and you’re gasping for air. The first thing you do when you jolt up on your mattress is touch your mating gland. Another nightmare woke you from your dreams.

“Only a dream,” you whimper as your mating gland is still untouched. The monster didn’t get the chance to destroy it. “How…why?” Just now you hear someone growl outside your room. “What?”

“Dean, you need to stop!” You can hear Sam outside your room, and then something hits your door. “DEAN!”

“She’s mine!” That’s Dean, fighting with his brother to get inside your room. “I got the get her! Sammy, get out of my way!”

You hear a loud thud and something sounding like a heavy body dropping to the ground. 

“OPEN THE DOOR!”

Now, …

“OMEGA!” Dean steps inside your room. He sniffs in all directions, almost like a predator scenting his prey. “Omega?” A throaty purr leaves his lips catching your scent. “Y/N?”

You clasp one hand over your mouth. If Dean finds you in your hideout, he’ll not be able to control his instinct. He made it very clear, that you are not the woman he wants. Omega or not.

“Y/N, come out,” he crouches down to look under your bed. “There you are.” He lies flat on the floor, hand reaching out to touch your ankle. “Omega, you need to come here.”

“Go away,” you shrug his hand off your leg. “You can’t be here, Dean. Please leave my room. Your scent will ruin it. Please…”

“I can’t go,” he grabs your ankle again, tugging at it. You try to crawl away, but Dean won’t let go of your leg. “Get out from under your bed. We need to talk. Stop acting like a child.” Dean growls. You can hear him growl low in his throat.

Dean fights from control. If not, he’ll drag you out from under the bed and mate you. “Let me go.” You kick and scream as Dean crawls under the bed to wrap his arms around your body. “I’m warning you!”

“You need to calm down, or you’ll go feral,” he snarls in your ear. “I can smell you. Why did you reveal you’re an omega now?”

You wiggle in his grip and refuse to answer his question. “Let me go!”

“OMEGA!” You stiffen at his alpha command. While your instinct tells you to give in to Dean’s demands, you are too stubborn to obey. “Give in.” He sniffs your neck, purring low in his throat when you tilt your head. “Answer me.”

“I told you that I didn’t want you and Sam to believe I’m a liability,” you bite back. “And after you told me my presentation doesn’t change how you feel about me, I thought I could stop using suppressants and scent blockers. That shit is expensive!”

“What if Sammy would’ve lost control, huh? With an omega smelling like you around, he could’ve easily lost control,” Dean growls. 

“Sammy doesn’t see me that way, Dean. He would never…”

“Nature gives a shit about feelings, Y/N,” he tightens his hold on you when you start wiggling again. “An alpha scenting an omega like you will lose control. You’re lucky I knocked him out.”

A cold shiver runs down your spine at Dean’s words. “You did what? Dean, you can’t just knock your brother out. What has gotten into you?”

”Do you know how hard I try to keep my alpha in control?” He nuzzles your neck. “If I let go, I’ll claim, mate, and knot you until you can’t walk straight for a week.”

“I won’t let you,” you ram your elbow into his stomach, making him growl. “You fucked Cassie not days ago. Do you honestly believe I’ll let you stick your dick into me?”

“Bad move, sweetheart,” Dean bites your neck. His teeth don’t leave a mark, but you stiffen and hold your breath. He grazes your mating gland with his teeth, making sure you know he’s not joking. “We won’t leave this room before we talk things out.”

“I need to get away from you, Dean! You smell like rut,” you’re out of breath from wiggling in his hold. “Please, you don’t want me.

“I smell like rut, but Castiel helped me suppress it,” he whispers in your ear. “Still, I’m struggling to hold back and not mate you.” 

“You’re mine. Always were meant to be mine,” His voice dangerously low Dean snarls in your ear. “You had no right to hide your presentation from me. I tried so hard to stay away from you to not hurt you. I could’ve had my omega all this time!”

“Fuck you,” you snap at Dean before you ram your elbow into his solar plexus. He winces in pain and finally releases his hold on you. 

You take the chance and crawl away, getting on your feet as fast as you can to go for a sprint. Dean is fast and strong. You must be faster to escape him.

“Y/N! Don’t!” He warns, but you are halfway out of the room. You slam the door shut behind you, holding your breath as you find Sam on the ground. 

“Fuck. Sammy! He didn’t lie,” you crouch down to check on Sam’s pulse. He’s out cold, but he’s breathing. “I’m so sorry, Sam. He’s out of his mind…”

“OMEGA!”

“Shit,” you curse, and get back up to run along the hallways. If you can reach Sam or Castiel’s room, their scent will cover your scent. “Stay away from me!”

“Get back here!”

Dean chases after you. He curses under his breath as you speed up to dash toward his brother’s room. “I can see where you are going! There is no need to hide. I only want to talk to you.”

You stop in your tracks to look over your shoulder. Dean flashes you a toothy smirk, showing off his teeth. The last time he looked at you like that was when he was a demon – and that wasn’t a pleasant experience.

Dean dips his head, waiting for your next step. “Chasing me around the bunker won’t make me forgive you, Dean. You know this will end badly if you don’t stop right now. I’ll castrate you before I let you mate me.”

He chuckles darkly. His eyes glow, and his teeth look a little sharper when he smirks at you. “Sweet little omega, I’m going to chase you down.”

“Okay. That is enough,” you don’t know what has gotten into Dean, but this is not your friend. Something is more than wrong with him, and you fear he’ll go feral if you don’t stop him right now. “How about we talk this out?”

You tilt your head in submission to please the alpha. “How about we leave talking to bookworms and losers? I have something better in mind.”

“How about you fuck off you sonofabitch!” Your eyes widen when another Dean steps next to you to shove you behind his back. “That’s my omega!”

“Dean?” You look from the man holding a gun in his hand to the other Dean, the one chasing you around the bunker. 

“I see you liked my face so much you had to copy it,” Dean jokes as he watches the shapeshifter smirk back at him. “Tell me, when did you touch me?”

“It was so easy. A crowded bar, with many people. I brushed past you and, voila, I knew everything about you and that sweet omega waiting to get bred,” the monster replies. “It was so easy to get inside the bunker and knock your brother out.”

“Well, newsflash asshole, this omega is mine,” Dean fires a round at the monster, throwing another one-liner at the shapeshifter as it drops dead to the ground.

“He’ll be alright,” Dean says as you worriedly look at Sam. “I should’ve come home sooner.”

“I should’ve known that you would never—” you sniff. “I ran and left Sam behind. Why did I not realize that this wasn’t you? You would never want me and…”

“Sweetheart, we will talk about this tomorrow,” Dean places his hand on your shoulder. “For tonight, I want you to stay with Sammy while I get rid of the shapeshifter.”

“I…” you nod, even though, you wish you could confront Dean for all the things he said and did.

For tonight, you will stay with Sam and ignore the aching in your chest.

You can’t help but feel sad. At least the monster wanted you. 

>> Love by heart

Tags in reblog.

[eisforeidolon]

https://www.tumblr.com/eisforeidolon/734571018525540352/some-people-in-this-fandom-have-absurd-projection

I love how it’s hellers and AAs always throwing a fit because someone does Barn Scene (or adjacent) ops with J2, claiming Jensen is traumatized over the death of fictional character, when they are the ones who over-step boundaries with Jensen and Jared, the actual people, like posing with them"gutted" shirt with Jared, or trying to force Jensen into destiel poses with Misha, or wearing things in ops like shirts that say, "Jensen Ackles is my baby daddy."

J2 know the barn scene is very meaningful for many fans and they've said it was for them, too. And from some accounts, they’ll even chose that pose when someone asks then to do whatever they want. They clearly aren’t bothered. Meanwhile, you can see Jensen death stare when he’s asked to get too intimate with Misha or a fan in ops, and we’ve heard accounts of him altering the asked for position enough that the fan is not getting exactly what they wanted (because it was crossing a line).

Crying or getting faux outraged about fans joking about the barn scene is ridiculous, especially since Jensen himself mimed joking about the rebar going through Dean on the first Gold Panel he and Jared did when cons came back after COVID (Denver 2021). Jensen grabbing his shirt and pulling it out as if he’d been impaled, and laughing after, is not the action of someone who is "traumatized." Being annoyed by the manner in which his character died and being in a "glass cage of emotion" Rob Burgundy style over it are two very different things.

People need to learn the difference between being annoyed over real-life overstepping of people’s boundaries (or at least common courtesy) and simply projecting their own outrage onto an actor because they don’t like a pose (especially based off of a joke the actor themselves made). People in this fandom need to grow the F up.

Also, I get that I’m not totally free of projecting either when I see Jensen looking "dead inside" during a heller op, but my observation is also based off of him specifically saying he and Misha have been asked to do things that are crossing the line (and he literally just mentioned that again on the Hawaii main panel last weekend). Barn op outrage is purely based off of fan's own emotional reaction over disliking that Dean died and/or the fact that he loved Sam more than anyone else.

Exactly.

Jensen has said he's proud of the barn scene, multiple times. Jensen has joked about the rebar specifically, multiple times, while laughing. Sure, Jensen has said multiple times he was taken aback by Dean dying the initial pitch - and every single one of those times he also said he was talked around by people he respected the opinions of! Jensen has said he doesn't see D/C as part of Dean's story, multiple times. Jensen has specifically cited things fans have asked for in ops with Misha as being uncomfortable, multiple times. The most he's ever given them is variations on 'interpret what you want, we don't have to agree on what's important about SPN'.

When we read into Jensen's expressions in ops, we're not just projecting what we want to believe he thinks. We're considering the totality of what he's said - not cherry-picking only the bits we like or deciding he must actually think the exact fucking opposite of what he's said because we do.

Also? When we ask him (and Jared) to act out a scene literally straight out of the canon that they played huge parts in creating the specifics of even beyond acting? We're respecting them as people and professional actors. In a way shit like those creepy t-shirts, like treating them as posable blow-up dolls, like wanting them to act out fanfic, like paying them to hold signs and insisting it means something about them personally, like insisting they don't understand their own show and their own acting as well as some randos on the internet do? Never ever fucking does.

[smartycvnt]

Like a Porn Star

Title: Like a Porn Star Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Minors DNI, 18+ Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), throat fucking NR WC: 872

"What do you want Dean? You know I can give you almost anything." Y/n's words sat between the two of them with the weight of the universe. The gun that Dean had come to see her with wasn't loaded. It hadn't been after their second meeting. Sam was off researching some monster for them to chase while Dean sat in a hotel room with half of his clothes on the ground and the crossroads demon to end all crossroads demon standing in front of him. He wasn't sure how Y/n had done it, but she had always acted outside of Lucifer and Hell's control.

"I don't have much time tonight," Dean told her. Y/n snickered at that as she walked over to stand in front of him. Dean was staring down at the carpet to avoid looking directly at Y/n. She was dangerous, even whenever she wasn't doing a thing. Dean never knew her intentions. Sometimes she helped them, sometimes she threatened to end their lives if he and Sam got in her way again. All Dean knew was that Y/n had a tendency to be nicer whenever he came alone.

"You haven't got much time in the long run-," Dean blinked and suddenly he was staring down at Y/n with her head hanging off the edge of the bed, "-so you might as well enjoy what you've got left."

Dean wasn't going to argue with Y/n on that one. She seemed to have a good idea of when someone would expire. She could smell a lost cause from a mile away, and Dean suspected that was why they were so drawn to each other. Dean liked danger, and there was nobody more dangerous to Dean than Y/n. Y/n liked what she could take without much effort, despite her claims to love the thrill of a chase or the complicated steps of a courting. Dean knew better than that, there was no mistaking how badly she wanted to get straight to the chase as she ran her palm over the bulge in his jeans.

"Better to live each moment like it's my last then?" Dean questioned. Y/n nodded as her nimble fingers undid his pants. The metal clank of his belt buckle hitting something in his pocket echoed a little in the hotel room. Dean swallowed thickly as Y/n pulled everything down his legs with one move. There was nothing for Dean to hide behind, but the way that Y/n stared at him gave Dean a boost of confidence unlike any other. That was why no matter what he'd always come back to Y/n, nobody made him feel so comfortable in his own skin. Y/n was able to put him on top of the world every single time that they hooked up.

Y/n didn't bother to ease herself into the situation at all. She knew what to expect from Dean, he was the only person to touch her since she had crawled her way out of Hell, not that Dean knew. This body that she had taken was more than used to the feeling of having him inside of it, no matter where he was entering her from. Dean grabbed the sides of Y/n's jaw as he bent his knees slightly to lower himself into her mouth. Y/n took every inch of Dean into her mouth and let him adjust his position so that he could move easier. Dean had met a lot of different women in his years of being on the road, but none of them could do the things that Y/n could. She was able to do things that Dean had only seen a few women do in videos posted onto the internet or the cheap budget pornos he rented in motels.

"Fuck," Dean groaned as he felt his knees begin to weaken. Y/n dug her nails into his hips to distract him from the immense pleasure that he was feeling. It just barely managed to do the trick. Dean began to thrust his hips harder and faster as he chased after the feeling he had been so close to before. Y/n could hear the strain in Dean's voice with each thrust of his hips that was taken. She could feel his grip tighten on her as he got closer and closer to the edge once again. This time Y/n let him have his release, relishing in the waves of pleasure that rolled off of his body as he came. It was easy enough to get Dean back onto the bed where she wanted him.

"You're getting old," Y/n said as she wiped at the corner of her mouth. Dean looked at her incredulously before realizing what she was meaning.

"It's not like a movie," Dean scoffed as he covered himself with his hands. Y/n vanished from the room without a trace, leaving Dean to sit there by himself. "You didn't have to go. I only need a few minutes tops, especially if you do that thing with your tongue!" It was too late though, and all of Dean's words were wasted on an empty room.

[according2thelore]

Ohmygod this was my askkkk!! I am so so happy with thiss, rolling around it like a kitten I am sooo fed!!! Tysm!! The twist with it being their intention all along for ES!winchesters to find out…..I am dead, absolutely dead. You are so good, soo creative. ES!Sam you are in for a ride, and ES!Dean, you better get over with your hangups soon and accept what it is.

My imagination is running wild now and because of this being intentional, I am imagining LS!Winchesters now fully staging this setup, lure ES!Sam in it because he would be easier to convince and LS!Sam knows that Dean *deserves* to be with a version of himself, pre cage, pre demon blood, all pure and innocent and fiery and angry and confident - something he is only rarely these days. This Sam will take what he wants. So LS!Sam arranges this thing for LS!Dean and ES!Sam, tells his Dean to enjoy! And my oh my does he. ES!Sam is his to claim first now???? This precious thing, eager to please but also has this arrogance in him that makes him so so so much Sam. Meanwhile ES!Dean is off to run some errand (by LS!Sam's design) but he returns early and sees his baby bro with that older version of himself and LOSES IT. HOW DARE DEAN NOT ONKY DEFILE HIS OWN LITTLE BROTHER BUT ALSO ES!DEAN'S!!!!! HE IS FURIOUS AND YEARNING AND HATES IT THAT HE WASNT THE ONE AND STARTS STRAIGHT UP MURDER BUT LS!SAM MAYBE CALMS HIM???? OHMYGOD

(also??? thank you so much for correcting the misread ask???? I would have taken with greedy grabby hands if you had completely misread it also!! I am OBSESSED with this verse! You are the nicestestestest)

HIHIHIHI!!!!!

GAH! this ask was so cute and nice i was kickin' my lil feet!

this idea is so great! your mind!

this falls into a similar category as one of my most recent posts, and i wrote it accordingly. do i think that LS!Dean would deprive ES!Dean of being LS!Sam's "first" dean? no, i don't think so. that bastard is so possessive i think he can respect the insane-brotherwife grind.

so this is just a delightful hypothetical based on your prompt!

without further ado, enjoy!

"plan b?" dean asks, and sammy lifts his head from his arms. his temples throb with a headache.

dean is sitting across from him at the dining table, nursing a glass of something sam can smell from here. sam snags the glass and takes a sip that curdles his nose hairs before passing it back.

"were we really this stupid? like this dumb?" sammy groans, rubbing a hand through his hair. "i mean, i believe you would be this obtuse, but me? i was just studying for the LSAT like a year ago!"

"oh here comes the big fancy college boy with his big triangle words. you're still gagging for me so hard you're getting an aneurysm." dean rolls his eyes. sammy rolls his eyes right back.

it hadn't worked. they had set those little fuckers up, and expected at least a conversation to happen. but sammy just walked in on their younger selves in the kitchen the other day and they didn't even break apart abashedly! no awkward explanations at all! there wasn't even anything to explain--they were standing on opposite sides of the room!

"did we make it worse?" sammy asks. dean considers this.

"nah. we can fuck it up at least three times as bad if we put our heads together."

so they put their heads together.

~~~

"you want me to what?" sam asks, and there's that blush. sammy tilts his head away so the kid can't see him smile. it's going to make this so much harder if he thinks he's being laughed at.

"pour some sugar on me," dean says, waggling his eyebrows.

sam's face sours.

yup. made it harder.

"not really," sammy is quick to correct. "just...make it look like something's happening."

sam's eyes narrow.

"why?"

and isn't that the crux of the whole damn thing. sammy's done some weird things in his life. he's been to the past. he's been to the future. he's been to hell, been to alternate dimensions, and killed just about every type of monster one can think of.

and yet, having to explain why he and dean want to "parent trap" their own younger selves to said younger self might rank high on that list of weird.

"guy's in love with you." dean says, before sammy can say anything. sammy clenches his jaw. way to just jump into this thing.

sam blanches. "no. he's not. you're--he's my brother. you don't know what you're talking about."

"i don't know dean?" dean asks, eyebrow raised. sam sputters.

"well, you know you. but my dean is different. he's not--" heat creeps onto sam's cheeks, as if remembering the compromising position he caught them in the other day. "you."

dean mhmms flatly.

"then what's the harm? he walks in on this, is not jealous, and it doesn't do anything." sammy posits.

"easy for you to say! you have--" sam gestures at dean, but doesn't look at him. "if my dean caught me like that, if he knew--he'd...he'd never talk to me again. he'd...he'd be disgusted."

sammy and dean share a look. after having been tested so often, so deeply, and reaffirming their...bond--as chick-flick and meaningless as it sounds--the distance they had gained from this depth of anxiety removed the sting from it.

sammy will always remember working himself literally ill over it. but when he feels like that, he has the comfort of walking up to dean and biting down on the place where his neck and shoulder meet. he has the comfort of dean putting sticky notes that read "kick me" on the back, and then holding his face like he's the only thing that's ever mattered.

their younger selves deserve this. sammy has no idea if this is going to change the past. he doesn't know if these two will leave here tomorrow or in a week or in a year and be completely wiped-clean, or if they'll keep it all. but they deserve that comfort, that confirmation, that reassurance, as long as they can have it.

and honestly, fuck it. sammy wants a younger dean to be with his younger self. he sees their insecurities and their weird dance around each other and kciks himself for ever being so blind.

not having dean as soon as it was possible to have him will always be one of his biggest regrets.

so, sammy says,

"okay, listen. if it doesn't work, we have a mirror in 219 that erases the viewer's memories from the last 24 hours. all of 'em. so if we try this, and it doesn't work, we can slip it under dean's pillow, and he won't even remember. a zero sum game. no harm, no foul, right?"

sammy can feel dean's eyes on the side of his face, but he maintains intense eye-contact with his younger self.

no, they don't. they absolutely do not have that.

but for the first time, he can see something like hope in the kid's eyes, and--again, fuck it. in for a penny.

"he won't remember?" sam repeats, slowly.

"not a thing." sammy says, wondering if this counts as lying or self-delusion. sam is quiet for a long moment. he looks between him and dean for a few times, suspicion melting.

"yeah. okay." he says finally, looking at dean with a strange hunger in his eyes that brings sammy up short. oh shit. should he-- "i'm in."

~~~

getting dean out of the bunker is embarrassingly easy.

"you know what i would kill for right now?" sammy asks, suddenly, while they're all sitting around a table in the library. sam jolts, even though he had been expecting it. "pringles. do we have any pringles left?"

"oh, man." sam says, his eyes widen. "me, too."

even though they planned this out ten minutes ago, sammy's dean perks up like he's going to say something decidedly not-on-script. sammy shoots him a warning look. he sighs.

"whoops. i think i ate them all." dean looks at the table, like he's a football player forced to be in the school play for extra credit.

"oh." younger dean says. he sits up straight. he looks back and forth between the sams. "i mean. yeah. if we need a grocery run, i could go get some."

his nonchalant tone is belied by the fact his almost trips over his own feet to get up.

"i'll be back!" he calls, already in the doorway.

"god, i'm so fucking transparent." older dean mutters directly into his own palms as he hides his face in his hands. sam pats him on the back comfortingly.

forty-five minutes later, it's all in motion.

sammy knocks against the door twice as he hears dean's footsteps shuffle down the hallway, and rushes away, rounding the corner so dean won't be able to see him.

sam and older dean are set up in the garage. dean had pulled up one of the cars right next to the door so younger dean could see everything.

they had laid out clear ground rules: no actual kissing, no touching "bathing suit territory" (dean had proposed that addendum solemnly, and sam's face had screwed up, like he was considering if he actually felt anything but annoyance for his brother.)

they had decided on signals: two knocks when dean was coming, one knock if things were going to plan, three knocks for "i'll go get the mirror" for sam, and "oh shit we gotta have a plan c" for dean.

sammy had made sure the door was perfectly cracked to give dean some assurance of anonymity, and they had figured that was the best strategy, since dean was known apparently to peep when he suspected his older self and sammy were getting close.

sammy hadn't expected being able to hear sam and older dean's voices from down the hallway, but he can. he can also hear younger dean's footsteps falter as he gets closer to the door.

"no, you're doing it--" an aggravated sigh. "c'mere." a shuffling of limbs. "you see how the drive belt comes this way? we need to loop it around the--"

a pause.

"what're you lookin' at?" dean's voice has lowered an octave, and sammy shifts, a pavlov reaction to hearing dean like that.

"i'm just--" sam peters into silence. a gasp. younger dean's gasp. did he think it was sammy in the garage this whole time? sammy stifles a smile against his hand.

"you lookin' at me, sammy baby?"

"baby?" sam repeats indignantly, but is cut off by a gasp as something in the room clatters to the ground.

"yeah, that's right. you're my baby brother, aren't you? my baby brother. you like seein' me like this? bigger than you? i know my sammy likes it when i throw him around a little. show him who takes care of him."

sam is breathless, and sammy can hear it, when he says, "dean."

sammy wonders how they're set up. does dean have him pressed to the front of the car? hiked onto a table, like he and sammy were set up that first time?

he realizes that it's killing him not to know.

a coo, from dean. "oh. look at you, sweetheart. you're so hard, and i haven't even touched you yet. you think i could make you come just by talkin' to you? hm? you like big brother tellin' you how much he loves takin' care of you that much?"

sammy realizes that he's started to chub up in his jeans. and he also realizes that younger dean hasn't said anything yet. sammy's torn between wanting to look around the corner and see if he's still there and staying put.

what if sam was right, and younger dean's just not ready for this yet? sammy's dean had reassured him in no uncertain terms that he had been lusting after sam since a truly concerning age.

but what if the jealousy is too much? what if seeing them like that carves an impossible chasm?

"dean, i--i" sam sounds much more unsure, like he's losing control fast. sammy bites down hard on his tongue.

he makes a split-second decision.

he rounds the corner.

and dean's got a fucking gun.

sammy starts in a dead sprint just as dean kicks open the door to the garage.

"you sick fuck!" he yells. sammy's behind him in a second, pulling his arms back. dean's starts kicking immediately, even as sammy is able to pull him mostly off the ground.

"he's a kid!" dean's still yelling. "we promised, fucker! we promised!"

sammy looks around dean's flailing body, and sees sam's horrified face. he looks like he's about to be sick. older dean's leaned him up against the side of the car, and he's not even touching him, just standing a few inches away. sammy's dean has visibly paled.

"hey, that's not--" he starts, but dean's already going off again,

"get your goddamn hands off of him!" sammy starts hauling him away, and manages to kick the garage door closed--but not before dean shouts a parting shot, "you think he wants those disgusting fucking hands on him?!"

sammy manages to wrestle dean a couple steps down the hallway before dean starts to go limp.

"i'm calm," dean says, and his gun hand does actually go limp, so sammy starts to let him go.

"what the hell happened back there?" sammy asks, heartbeat in his throat. play dumb! play dumb!

dean tucks his gun back into his pants. he's looking at the wall over sammy's shoulder.

"he shouldnta' been sayin' that." dean mutters. "not his place to. sam is...never mind."

not his place to.

"his place?" sammy prompts. despite the fact that he's pretty sure he had a heart attack back there, he tries really, really hard not to smile. he's taking this very seriously.

dean's phrase is dangerously close to the point of all this, and sam should not celebrate because he's positive older dean and sam are powering through some angst (that sammy will have to deal with later) in the next room right now.

sammy feels like one of those tv show therapists with big glasses, armchair, and ballpoint pen. and how did that make you feel?

"i don't--" dean's eyes fall to his. "i don't know why i said that." his brows furrow. "i gotta go. i need some fresh air."

and without another word, dean turns around and walks away.

operation: go convince your brother to kiss you, but also not you is a-go.

before he walks away, sammy remembers the knock code: once for success, two for dean's arrival, three for failure. and honestly?

sammy knocks on the door once. and he trails after dean, barely resisting the urge to whistle.

oh yeah. they got this in the bag.

~~~~

@aj-carryon au contraire! you are the nicest! i hope you enjoyed this little ficlet, aj! (i hope that's your name, if not, then i hope you enjoyed, friend!)

your asks always make me giggle and twirl my hair, lol! kissing u on both cheeks!

-lizzy

[nothingunrealistic]

and what of 15 for kleinsen...

15. things you said with too many miles between us

“Nothing but hiking and yoga and kayaking and having to wear a dress shirt to eat inside.” The background of Jared’s end of the video call shifts from a rapidly receding doorway to a bedspread and pillows. “And I don’t even get my own room. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“Hiking’s not so bad.”

“That’s just, like, your opinion, man. If I’m gonna be stuck in the Catskills with my parents for a week, the least they could do is get Patrick Swayze to show up.”

“Why Patrick Swayze?” Evan sits down at his desk and rifles through his memory. “I thought he died.”

“Because otherwise it’s not a Dirty Dancing homage. And yes.”

“It’s a what homage?”

“The movie. Dirty Dancing. ‘Nobody puts Baby in a corner’? ‘I’ve had the time of my life’?” Evan’s confusion must show on his face as clearly as frustration shows on Jared’s. “Do you watch anything other than nature documentaries?”

“I watch documentaries about other things.”

“Typical,” Jared mutters, as if he’s genuinely disappointed in Evan and not at all excited to add a new title to his mental list of Movies To Make Evan Watch When We Hang Out. (Well, he claims it’s a mental list. Evan suspects he has a spreadsheet.) “Are your finals done yet?”

“No. I still have two left.” And as he discovered last semester, finals for three college classes somehow require as much studying as eight high school finals. Especially when he’s studying by himself while Jared, whose semester ended a month ago, is on the other side of the state complaining about a vacation that’s rewarding him for making the dean’s list. That’s what Mom said Jared’s mom said it was for, anyway. Jared insists it’s because going away to college made his parents realize they missed having someone to order around.

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.” Evan shuffles through the papers on his desk one-handed. “Um. My mom looked up the place where you’re staying, and she said they had, you can throw tomahawks, as an activity.” He had the printouts about it just yesterday, where did they go? “That sounds cool.”

“Yeah, but they only have it twice a week, and we missed the Monday session, so Friday’s my last shot. And that’s if my mom doesn’t convince herself that I’m gonna cut my own head off throwing an axe.”

“Tomahawk.”

“Whichever. Besides, they have, like, safety precautions and training. But if we were here in the winter, she’d say we have to check out the ski trails. That shit isn’t supervised, and statistically…”

Connor hated skiing.

It pops into Evan’s head and stays lodged in there as Jared goes on about all the ways you can be horribly maimed while skiing. It reminds him that a year ago he was counting the days until graduation and wondering which of his classmates he’d ever see again, and a year and a half ago he was literally sick with dread waiting for either Jared or the Murphys to turn his world upside down by going public, and two years ago —

“…are you even listening to me right now?”

“No,” Evan says, then cringes. “I kind of zoned out. Sorry.”

“I kind of figured.”

“I was just thinking that, um.” That if a thousand things hadn’t happened just right, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. “I’m glad we’re friends again. Or still, or, however you think of it.”

“Uh, okay. Same here, I guess.” Jared rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. For a while. They look pretty red.

“Jared, are you —”

“My contacts are probably expired,” Jared says quickly. “And the pollen here is insane. How am I supposed to see straight with a thousand trees jizzing in my eyes?”

“Gross.”

“But accurate.”

“I mean, not exactly —”

“If I wanted a botany lesson, I’d go on the nature tour again. And I wouldn’t learn anything this time.”

(send me a ship and a prompt and i’ll write a mini fic)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: February

ahoy, gamers! after an uneven start to my reading year in January (high highs, low lows) I've had a pretty consistently excellent February! yes, I'm including Red, White & Royal Blue. it may not have been good, but it was definitely fun. more on that in a minute, but I cannot recommend enough if you, like me, are a rancid hater.

what have I been reading?

Sharks in the Time of Saviors (Kawai Strong Washburn, 2020) - @dykerory came upon this book in a pretty fruitless search for good adult novels that prominently feature sharks, a weird gap in the market that seems to ignore that SOME OF US don't ever stop thinking sharks are fucking sick. (don't talk to me about Jaws. even Peter Benchley regrets Jaws.) while Sharks in the Time of Saviors actually has much less shark action happening than one might hope based on the title, it's very much a case of "came for the shark on the cover, stayed for the phenomenal writing." the novel follows the lives of the three Flores siblings: athletic oldest son Dean, academic little sister Kaui, and middle child Noa, who possesses odd abilities that seem to be a gift straight from Hawaiian gods and just might be the savior his impoverished family needs. spoiler alert: growing up as a demigod in the 21st century is hard, and success is hardly guaranteed. Washburn writes beautifully about the the suffocating realities of struggling to survive poverty, and the ways it can both tie families together and creature fractures that are difficult to heal. apparently this was Barack Obama's top novel of 2020 and I am forced once again to acknowledge that the war criminal has taste.

Blue-Skinned Gods (SJ Sindu, 2021) - okay so this is ALSO a book about a boy being raised to believe he's channeling the divine; I accidentally struck a bit of a two-book theme. Blue-Skinned Gods follows the early life of Kalki, a boy born with blue skin and raised in a isolated Indian ashram by parents who assure him (and their many paying devotees) that he's the final incarnation of Vishnu. from a very young age Kalki is placed on a pedestal and expected to behave as a perfect spiritual leader, and you guys won't believe what happens next -- it turns out that really fucks with a kid. what follows is a coming of age story unlike any other, following Kalki's growth from a self-assured child god to a young man with a lot of questions about exactly how he fits into the world. Sindu's writing is smooth as hell, impossible to put down, and takes Kalki down some thrillingly unexpected twists that complicate every notion of identity and self. 10/10, made me want to go read all of Sindu's other work immediately.

My Solo Exchange Diary Vol. 1 (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2016) - I was not remotely joking last month when I said that My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness was so good that I would be tracking down all of Ngata's other work in short order. her solo exchange diary continues to document a journey of self-growth with none of the usual unbearable fluff that phrase entails, instead highlighting all the discomfort that comes with realizing you can no longer keep living the way you were and finding yourself pissing, shitting, shaking, etc, in the face of learning how to do something different. I really admire the way Nagata's vulnerability is upfront and prevents her from ever sounding like some kind of self-help guru who claims to know everything; her self-discoveries are presented as unexpected gems rather than universal truths, the discoveries of someone as pleasantly surprised by her own progress as all of her readers. there's something immensely comforting in these graphic novels, which I think is the reminder that there's literally no wrong time to start wanting and doing better for yourself.

Me, Not You: The Trouble with Mainstream Feminism (Alison Phipps, 2020) - I added this book to my TBR because I noticed that Phipps seemed to be drawing the ire of a lot of TERFs on twitter, which is (in my experience) usually a pretty good indicator that someone is doing something interesting worth checking out. having finally circled around to her book, I can see why Phipps (who seems to have since deleted her twitter account) was making TERFs so angry: Me, Not You doesn't even get to page 10 without plainly stating its thesis statement that trans exclusionary feminism is inseparable from other reactionary conservative ideologies such as racism, colonialism, and misogyny itself. so that's a super promising thesis, but how about the actual content of the text? eeeeh. Phipps drops a lot of the right names -- especially Sara Ahmed, and I can certainly never object to Ahmed -- and she's certainly sincere, but I can't help feeling that many of her arguments come across as a bit shallow and under-supported for the sake of time. if I were assigning this book it would be the first week reading for, like, a semester-long exploration of white feminism, with more substantial reading to follow. not a bad primer on the whole, but lacking if you've, say, already read most of the writers Phipps is influenced by.

Nightbitch (Rachel Yoder, 2021) - this is a book that I have been MEANING to read since it came out in mid-2021, and I have FINALLY gotten around to it. having done it: I would say worth the hype. Nightbitch is an intensely internal meditation about the mundane horrors of motherhood, of isolation and endless repetition, of time and energy lost and creative pursuits stifled seemingly forever. its terror is that of the loss of self and endless stagnation in the face of duty, and how sometimes you get tired of being nice and just want to go apeshit turn into a dog and run howling through the night to kill small animals and take a shit on your republican neighbor's lawn. I don't even have a kid and it sounds good, so you can imagine how delighted I was when (vague spoilers) the book ends with Nightbitch absolutely winning. go, girlboss!

Mongrels (Stephen Graham Jones, 2016) - in another accidental two-book thematic streak, I immediately followed Nightbitch with Stephen Graham Jones' books about the saddest, grossest werewolves ever. Mongrels pulls no punches about the bloody realities of shifting perpetually between forms -- werewolves have to avoid wearing anything that won't tear away when they transform, because it will simply meld with their skin when they change back and kill them slowly; they have to dispose of their trash constantly, or risk eating something that will kill them slowly when they next turn into a hungry wolf; when human women give birth to werewolves they have to be killed quickly or, you guessed it, turn into half-dog monsters and die slowly. but despite the horrors, Jones' werewolves take grim pride in what they are and the solace they find in each other on their endless nomadic quest to avoid discovery and live the best lives they can. it's only February, but I'm absolutely confident saying that this blood-splattered book is going to be one of my favorites of the year.

Book Banning in 21st-Century America (Emily J.M. Knox, 2015) - I was lucky enough to recently see Dr. Knox lecture at the university where I work, and I'd hopped on my local library's website to place this book (her dissertation) on hold before she'd even finished speaking. while the text is a lot dryer than her very charming in-person presence, I think it's extremely important reading for anyone who has a vested interest in, you know, book banning and the prevention thereof. Knox cannily summarizes the attitudes that lead to challenges to the accessibility of various reading materials, offering examples from real challenges and interviews with challengers, creating a comprehensive study of the symbolic power exerted by fighting to remove a book from a library or high school curriculum. I think these kinds of studies are so vital, because understanding the mindset of people to whom you're pretty much completely ideologically opposed can be illuminating in many ways. I was particularly shaken by one grandmother's objections to the book I use when teaching human development to 4th-6th graders, which I consider incredibly tasteful and the grandmother in question considered pornography that was hellbent on destroying the fabric of American society. the more you know!

Red, White & Royal Blue (Casey McQuiston, 2019) - look, I pretty much already said it all here. this is a romance novel for adults who want to read about gay sex without having to see the word "penis" and believe that voting democrat is the best solution the all of America's ills. the plot is nonsense and reading it made me feel insane. I enjoyed almost every second of it because I experienced the correct way, which was reporting its many sins live to my wife, my creative partner @dykerory, and any other hapless passerby I could force to hold still and listen for five seconds. yes I will be watching the movie. no further questions.

sorry this update isn't in bulleted list form like normal, tumblr told me I had too many fucking characters and wouldn't let me post it until I separated them 💀

[fratricideknight]

(not posting the usernames on the off chance you two get harassed. tell me if you want me to delete)

i'm not gonna delve into the tendency of fandom to ignore platonic relationships and aspec headcanons - but that part is unequivocally true. nor am i gonna talk in depth about acephobia and arophobia because that's too giant a topic for a little spn blog like me - but that is also unequivocally a thing. i'm just gonna talk about wincest.

i have a weird relationship with wincest. i swing from liking it, to being ambivalent about it, to straight up despising it, and back again. overall, i’d say that it is a ship which exists. i lean more towards liking it, because i just love sam and dean together so much, but i’m afraid i simply find it inferior to platonic samdean - which should be a widely used term, btw. please start using samdean platonically, too; all samdean enjoyers should form a coalition! that said, the honest majority of fics i read these days to get my samdean fix are wincest, since there are far fewer genfics than slash fics, and not many of these genfics are unhinged to my liking. i either pretend it’s platonic or, if that’s not really possible, just enjoy it as it is. so, i’m supremely grateful to wincest content creators <3 you are the loves of my life i am giving you all a big warm hug right now

i can see why people would ship wincest, on multiple levels. sam and dean are just an amazing pairing, in whatever form that takes; j2 are very hot guys; the show really doesn’t hold back on the incest subtext, and i don’t blame people for wanting to explore it in fanon. again, it’s just a ship that exists to me, and whose content creators i appreciate. probably my biggest gripe with it is the way an unfortunate amount of ‘wincest moments’ and analysis hinge on amanonormativity. i can generally just ignore the copious amounts of romantic moments and banging when reading one of the aforementioned wincest fics, but when i read something like, “Obviously there’s something more going on; no one can love their brother that much without wanting to kiss and fuck him!” i just… have to take a breather. i hate it so much. please, please do some research into amanonormativity. i do not blame you at all for shipping wincest, but if your reasoning is “they’re closer than most siblings” then i do blame you, i’m afraid. yes, they are extremely, undeniably weird, and closer than most siblings. does this mean they are/want to be romantically or sexually involved? no. i’m going to quote @brotherwives in saying, “I’d say that it actually cheapens the intensity of their bond,” because they’re just so right. i’m sure people have their reasons for shipping it, though, and i respect that; please keep the unhinged content coming, i love you. and i get that a lot of wincest shippers appreciate gencest, as well...

i just. hearing that some ppl - including wincest shippers - are weird about gencest is mind-blowing to me. i invite more people to enjoy the insanity of gencest, bc in my opinion it's just so damn great. brothers being insane about each other not in a "normal" brotherly way but also not in an incestuous sense?? they straddle the line between two things by just being unapologetically insane about each other?? a serve. THE serve. not to mention weirdcest - platonic kink, whatever form it takes - is so much fun!! like they know they're not "normal" but they aren't into each other, either?? and there's no textbook guide on how the hell they're supposed to act under these circumstances?? like "incest is wrong" is pretty much universally accepted, but what about platonically biting your brother's neck to stake a claim on him bc you can't stand the thought of anyone else ever taking him away from you, whether that be a romantic partner or a friend or the devil himself. you can still have that incest guilt without it actually being incest, you can still delve into the horrific familial enmeshment. imho it's literally the best possible thing.

i'm not aspec, btw, and i'm not trying to hail myself as the ally of all time by mentioning that lmaoo. i'm just saying. it's completely possible to enjoy platonic relationships and enjoy aspec headcanons (*cough* aro dean!!! *cough*) whether you're aspec or not. platonic relationships aren't appreciated enough, when, in my opinion, they're actually more interesting... romance is generally clear-cut, but that area where the lines of "friends" blur?? trying to navigate the fact that you care more about your friend or sibling or whoever than your romantic partner, and it will probably always be that way?? venturing into queerplatonic relationship territory without knowing what the hell that is or how to explain it, just knowing that you will gladly throw every convention off a steep cliff to live with your platonic life partner(s)?? yes.

in case this wasn't clear: i do NOT hate wincesties in any way, you guys are like my siblings. yeah, maybe we squabble and disagree on stuff, but at the end of the day we are different iterations of the same genes and i love you all <3 (please no one make any dumb incest jokes about that analogy) like i said, we should form a coalition and take back the spn fandom

[july-19th-club]

Recap for Roswell: New Mexico S2E11: “Linger”: hammer to fall

4.5/5 ⭐s

Some chapters are about what’s right in front of your face, some are actually about what’s not there at all, and some are about both. There are a lot of elephants in a lot of rooms on Roswell: New Mexico right now, but some of the rooms, to extend this metaphor as far as I can, are harder to access than others. 

Alex, for example, is conspicuous in his absence for the entire forty-two minutes, though it only takes Michael about one to realize he’s not at some recruitment gig. On the one hand, he’s in serious life-threatening danger (we didn’t see the flash of light that heralds the Cam/Mimi-pattern abductions, just some guy hitting him and stuffing him in the trunk of a car)...on the other hand, at least he’s not telling teenagers how they can advance their careers by getting themselves and others into serious life-threatening danger for the United States Air Force? Really a tossup on that one. 

Usually it’s Max we see engaging in cowboy cop levels of outsized violence and rage, but that was also mostly before he was (mostly) focusing on being heart healthy. And lest we forget the cowboy part of that phrase, Michael (who would be deeply insulted if you compared him to a cop) is fulfilling the “whaling on people until you feel better” role this week. Michael has always been the first sibling to say “dude, let’s just torture them!” - but because he was Michael, he never actually acted on it. I’m cool with him breaking and doing it now, because the performance is so full of fear, and because I don’t know that I’ve often seen the roaring rampage of protection in a gay way much before. And as everybody knows, tropes that are tired or irritating in a straight setting become fresh, new, and original if you queer ‘em up a bit. 

He spends most of his episode doggedly Hardy Boy-ing the Case of the Missing Bosom Chum - like that the napkin in the alien script is newer than they were led to believe (a clue I appreciated in that the audience can pick up on it first, if they’re paying attention (I wasn’t)) and planted specifically to give Alex a reason to try the artifact plan Michael had such misgivings about. Jesse attempts to head him off by claiming that he, too, has been looking for and worried about Alex, and I don’t know who the fuck he thinks he’s talking to, though Michael is freaked out enough at this point to consider that maybe this time they have a shared goal. He tails Jesse to a meeting with Flint, who gives away way too much information when he thinks he’s speaking freely. 

It seems (though I revert to my old Manes adage; namely that they are always potentially lying) that there are two kidnapping schemes happening here - Jesse kidnapped him first, but truly doesn’t know where he is because Flint has had the exact same idea and kidnapped his brother from his dad when his dad wasn’t looking. If all this sounds convoluted...well, yes. For Jesse, Alex is a “loose end” (Michael, probably correctly, suggests he was planning on killing him), but Flint’s plans are more nebulous and it’s hard to tell just how much he exactly wants his brother dead. Watching all this, I immediately began to formulate a theory that Jesse is orchestrating the whole thing with Flint as a convenient next lead to get Michael off his tail. But before we find out if I’m right, we take a few long-time-coming minutes to deal with some unfinished business. 

Forgive an old heller their vices, but I call ‘em how I see ‘em, and we are on the CW, after all: Michael gets to do his Dean Winchester best and scream homoerotically at a personification of christian authority. This catharsis isn’t just for him, and the ten years of pain and loss he suffered at this man’s hands. It’s also for Alex, and the lifetime of trauma endured both before and after his father’s influence sent him to war. Alex always views that as a decision he personally made, and he’s correct: but Michael, not being Alex, is able to look at the source of the decision and want to punish it. He won’t kill him, though - he’s working on not doing the easy thing. He finds it infinitely harder to think like Alex, to try without evidence to have a faith or a compassion for people, but to prove him right...he spares the rod. Here’s hoping that act of mercy doesn’t put both of them in greater danger. 

Michael’s thread is, however, actually one of the shorter ones (not that you’d know from how much I’ve already written about it). In the rest of the episode, we’re back to the many-plates-spinning structure the show loves best, which is not my personal cup of tea all the time, but it functions well here. In Thread B, Izzy visits Rosa, bearing sketchbooks and Arturo’s pan dulces. I’ve become deeply fond of the bickering kinship Isobel and Rosa have, against all odds, forged - although their teenage connection was never as real as either of them thought it would be, they still came away from it caring about each other. And I also love how, whenever they hang out, Isobel is a full foot taller than Rosa. Izzy wants to talk about their Noah trauma and maybe some of their regular trauma too, and Rosa’s in a stable enough place that she agrees they can try.

Their day of commiseration and sketchbook archaeology is cut short, however, when Rosa decides to try and call her mom - for closure? to torment herself? - and instead gets Helena’s boyfriend Dirk, who has no idea where Helena is. A reluctant Isobel agrees to drive Rosa back home, since Rosa now believes her mother might be another abduction victim. But they (and we, so far) don’t know the half of it. 

In Thread C, Liz and Diego have been juggling experiments, immigration officials (they have to quickly scoot Javi the line cook out the back), and CrashCon hours at the diner. We see a flashback to their time as a couple, celebrating a big grant Liz has just scored - she’s happy, he’s proud, and she starts crying just thinking about what her somewhat-trapped-feeling teenage self would’ve thought “knowing that the person I am now existed.” Jeanine Mason always plays these moments quiet reflective moments beautifully, and then we flash back to the present, where she’s using the mixer at the diner as a makeshift centrifuge because it’s tourist season and there’s work to do and burgers to fry and lately she’s been remembering what that hemmed-in feeling is actually like. They have another version of an old fight: he works for a company called Genoryx, and she’s always maintained that they’re too shady to risk being funded by. For the record, she’s probably right: there’s no way they’re not plot-related, this is television. 

And in Thread D, Kyle and Max snoop around town trying to get a better understanding of Max’s abduction sleuthing. Kyle’s mostly there (in full drunk and bitchy Kyle mode) because all of their equipment-theft has finally been noticed and he’s suspended at work. Here their investigation dovetails with Michael’s, thinking that Flint The Weapons Specialist might have some kind of lead on the memory-scrambling drug (which they figure could easily be classified as a weapon - you could use it to confuse soldiers’ experiences, to keep them from revealing sensitive information). While they’re doing a spot of B&E in his house, they find a lot of potentially incriminating stuff, including what Max believes to be a gun he spotted during his and Charlie’s rescue-Cam mission...and the box Arturo kept his mother’s ring in, last seen with Helena. Looks like Rosa was right to be worried.

Max tries to offer good advice and be the healthy partner in this little buddy-detective venture, but one of his suggestions - that they go pick up the unused equipment from their abandoned lab and return it to the hospital - almost comes back to bite him. The lab, as we know, isn’t abandoned, and Liz is using the equipment, and poor dopey Max puts this together when Kyle realizes he no longer has door access. 

No matter how supportive he tries to be about Liz’s whole thing, her job makes him incredibly skittish and he feels like she’s been running around behind his back (because she has) doing things that will expose him and his siblings (not her intention, but still very possible). She’s sick of the slow path, and has decided to use her alien biology knowledge to develop a treatment for Steph. The fight is inevitable, and even harder to take back than the Michael-Alex fight last episode. And yes, part of it is about Max’s insecurities re: Diego, who has no fears about Liz’s work and is always eager to help do weird science with her. It’s a part of her life Max doesn’t understand and doesn’t really trust, and it remains to be seen whether they can get past it in two episodes. And then they find a note pinned to Michael’s trailer...

Back in Thread A, Michael catches up with Flint (whose name will never stop being funny to me, it’s like Jesse watched Black Sails thirty years before it came out and came to the exact incorrect conclusions about every single character). He spares none of the mercy he reserved for Jesse, and Flint never really has a chance against him anyway; we get to see the kind of usefulness finely-tuned telekinesis can actually have a lot in this episode. Michael never seems to think it’s worth it to explore his siblings’ specialties - and when his is so handy and so low on the side effects, why should he? Without even having to work at it, he chases Flint down, steals his gun, and flings him around a bit before presumably levitating him into the bunker to yell at him. 

But Flint has the upper hand when it comes to interrogation scenarios. He’s smug the whole time, and Michael is not military-trained and does not actually know how or when interrogations work versus how or why they fail, and is highly emotional and more or less winging it. It’s his prisoner who winds up giving him an ultimatum: do what I say or Alex’s life is forfeit. What he finds, on Flint’s orders, is someone even I was not anticipating having any active connection with the plot - at least this part of the plot. It’s the one and only Hurricane Helena Ortecho, brandishing another alien power dampener and a set of schematics for, given all the clues we’ve amassed this season, a biobomb combining Charlie’s DNA work and Michael’s alien mechanical knowledge. But what the fuck is she doing here?

REGENERATED WORMS

Liz: “Oooh, we should get you a boyfriend!” Max: “Or a girlfriend! Or a *rather proud for knowing the Gay Words face* nonbinary intimate companion :)” Iz: “Great job, Dad.” 

Diego really is a very likable guy. He sticks around in town to make sure he’ll be able to do something if ICE are still breathing down their necks; he helps out in the kitchen; he’s understanding about his and his fiance’s breakup to the point where he’s still very excited to help her with her research; he’s a veritable Adonis...surely there has to be some kind of catch, but until we find it I’m happy to just bask in him. And so is Isobel. And so is every other vaguely single person in town. 

A reviewer I read during the first season said that Jesse’s main purpose on the series is to get his ass kicked. They were cool with this, and you know what? I am too. We love to see it. 

If ever there was a time to use the song ‘Evil’ used in its natural habitat: the scene where the kid Jesse mutilated a dozen years ago has actual power over him and he realizes he should’ve been waitin’ on the other shoe to drop. I’ve always found this song’s function as Michael’s unofficial theme ironic and slightly mean-spirited, given the fact that he (a former abused kid) gets a track with the line ‘hit my kids when I don’t mean to’. Watching Michael refuse to keep the cycle going with that track in the scene would’ve been killer.

“He still loves. He even loves you.” Delivery - really, speech - of the episode to Michael V. this week, one hundred percent. 

“I wanna be...less angry.” “Anger’s not so bad. It reminds us that something’s not right, so we can change it.” Liz is a woman, and she’s the daughter of undocumented immigrants, and she’s poor - but she’s not Black. Diego is, but he’s also wealthy and connected, clearly relishing (as he should!) using his leverage to stick it to the man. But wealth and connections also are the man, so to speak, which seems to be part of the crux of the incompatible part of him and Liz. There are some understandings they can share, and some they can’t. Everything's intersectional.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 272

Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell/Smile

“Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell”

Plot Description: The Winchesters must unravel a complicated case of a demonic deal one wrong when an invisible hellhound claims a soul at a campsite

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: yes because I wouldn’t be camping. Too many people on supernatural die while camping for me to ever go

Aw man, they were (maybe) gonna get engaged

Deeeeeean being interested and still grossed out in how many monster parts are…all over him

Why is Sam’s……….Sam named his monster hunting algorithm Frodo. That’s so unbelievably cute. Sam has a Frodo he takes along to defeat evil 🥹

What….what is Cas even investigating?? I forgot that this came out before last year for a second and I really thought this guy believed the queen was killed by aliens and not that she was one

I hate this restaurant owner. Even Castiel can see through his bullshit

Unfortunately, there IS something, but it’s not aliens, it’s angels and demons

Literally though, I am ON Crowley’s side but in the way I’m terrified for him. He’s been so much about self preservation this WHOLE TIME, why would you fuck up and do to Lucifer what he did to you?? Are you out of your goddamn mind?? He is AWFULLY sure of himself and i don’t think he should be

Has he been spending ALL his time taunting Lucifer instead of his Hell responsibilities??

I get so tickled when normal ass people get dragged into conversations they shouldn’t around the Winchesters. This woman doesn’t NEED to know the whole backstory of the hellhound that tried to kill her straight from Crowley’s mouth, but she’s getting it and she’s taking it surprisingly well

Omg did these demons double cross Crowley and purposely let out the hellhound that’s only loyal to Lucifer?? It’s really that simple? Look, I love Crowley as a character but the simplicity of Lucifer’s plans is so fucking good

Ok nope, they did this on their own (probably…maybe?). They planned all that out of loyalty to Lucifer, but Lucifer had nothing to do with it (maybe). Crowley really needs to get his house in order

Do you really WANT to be back under Heaven’s thumb, Cas?? You know better…you know who your family is.

Lucifer is gonna kill these demons IMMEDIATELY after getting freed. He doesn’t have the bureaucratic heart Crowley does….he doesn’t care about the deal he just made. HE’S THE ACTUAL FUCKING DEVIL FROM THE BIBLE

I get it, girl. I, too, would like to give Crowley a hug. He’s gonna need it

Sorry not sorry for loving characters that sit like this, especially on a throne

Oh holy shit. How…how did Crowley turn off Lucifer’s ARCHANGEL POWERS?!?! How’s he absolutely kicking Lucifer’s entire ass? I’m not attracted to Crowley but this is doing something for me. So much for Crowley getting soft over the years

I know that name from Good Omens! Dagon was not as powerful in that…

Castiel. I can’t believe you’re going back to heaven…

SAMUEL I-DONT-KNOW-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME WINCHESTER!!! I don’t know how I didn’t see it. I’m feeling a little dumb that I got fooled. To be fair, there was a lot that went on between when I watched yesterday’s episode and now. Of course “Frodo” is actually the BMoL. I’m so mad at him and me

Oh Dean. Dean. Deeeeeeeeean…you shouldn’t have had to find out this way. More people need to be honest with him forever and always. How can you look at his betrayed face and ever want to see that again??

He’s taking it way better than I expected. Is it practice? From feeling betrayed so often? And so recently? He’s still hurt though….

"Smile"

Plot Description: The Doctor takes Bill to a spectacular city--but where are the colonists?

Ahaha! I've wised up since last time! Now, WHY does my tv like to occasionally not show the video and only give me the audio? I don't know, but at least now I know better than to think they're gonna serve me up a blank screen for ten minutes.

As a mode of transportation, the TARDIS is a funny thing. It CAN take you anywhere, but hearing that you don't steer it, you negotiate with it...maybe I've been a driver too long. Even though driving is basically second nature, hearing about having to actually negotiate with your mode of transportation....like....we haven't had to do that since horses.

Why...why is the Doctor not supposed to go off-world? Like, I'm glad we're finally finding a balance between the Moffat- and RTD-esque seasons, but I do want to know now, please and thank you. Also, why doesn't Nardole like Bill?? Bill's great!!!!

Oh...I don't like this place they're going. It is literal toxic positivity central. If you get too sad you get basically vaporized??? Boooooo

Oh good, the explanation (so far) is he did a thing, something happened, he made an oath to not leave Earth. Thanks, Doctor.

I know there's a difference between hieroglyphs and memes and emojis when it comes to communication, but i do love that a form of picture communication has survived millions of years onto humanity's first colony. Did it have to be emojis though?

Omg, the little emoji badge the Doctor has and it's puzzled face is adorable. However...the reasoning behind it is less cute. Oh, when he said skeleton crew...he...he meant the crew sent here to set everything up has been turned to skeletons

I doubt you'll be safe outside of the city precisely because you said you would be. However, in the TARDIS seems pretty safe.

It's so funny that this "have to appear happy" story was given to Twelve. The only one who could possibly also have such a funny time doing this is Nine. Ten and Eleven could appear genuinely happy at any moment if they needed. Twelve needs to convince these robots, and he still doesn't SOUND happy

Billllllll, don't let the TARDIS hear you call this a proper spaceshippp please. I like you too much

Actually, Bill, I'm so sorry I said that to you. This is like a Star Wars spaceship...the interior makes no sense and OSHA would have a FIT if they could see the lack of railings on these bridges. You were right

Someone, anyone, George Lucas, explain to me why very important technology is always kept in the middle of four walkways over the gaping maw you’re generously calling a room and there are no railings, pleasenowtellmeyes?

Coolcoolcool. All the work the Doctor did just now is for nought and he may have egregiously fucked up…I KNOW they’ll save humanity, they always do, but HOW? Yeah. So he was TRYING to blow up this whole city…….until the people who were cryogenically frozen started waking up.

Oh. Fun. I mean, it does make a certain amount of sense that these robots would start to learn and expand their knowledge, wrong as it may be, that grief is the enemy of happiness and that to eradicate anything that doesn’t bring happiness, you actually have to kill the very people you’re there to help keep alive…which just causes more and more grief. Yikes

Don’t vaporize the kidddddddddddddd. Please don’t do that

Ok ok ok. You hit the reset button, you turned it off and turned it on again, you wiped the robots’ memories, but did you disable the function that allowed them to do what they did? Did you keep them from killing everyone again somewhere down the line??

What a weird solution. Like, sure, the Vardi (spelling optional) became sentient and are therefore pseudo-indigenous to this planet (brought here not sentient, gained sentience while here), but to then make them basically the humans’ landlords and potentially force the human race to only exhibit ‘positive’ emotions for the rest of their time on this planet is A WEIRD SOLUTION, DOCTOR

[writingideasforus]

HDH

FACE CLAIM

First Name: Harrison

Middle Name: Dean

Last Name: Holmes

Nickname: Harry, Har

Age: 27

Birthday: April 27, 1995

Birth Stone: Diamond

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Sexual Orientation: Straight

ROMANCE

Ideal partner? Someone who enjoys caretaking, he finds comfort in it. Someone soft and loving, who wants to settle.

What was their first kiss like? He was 6 and his behind the schoolyard fence to kiss Gemma Woods.

CHILDHOOD

Life Story: Harrison is the oldest of four boys. His father David runs a successful nonprofit organization. During their youngest brother Lachlan’s teen years their father was photographed having an affair with a much younger woman. Their mother divorced him and took half of his net worth, starting her own self care business.

Did he have an imaginary friend growing up? No, he always just played with his brothers.

Nurtured or neglected growing up? Nurtured.

Closest family member? His brother Thomas

Languages spoken at home growing up? English

Financial situation growing up? Upper class

PERSONAL

Do they ramble or are they to the point? To the point

Does he have any addictions? He’s a smoker

What’s his biggest secret? He accidentally killed Lachlan’s hamster because he stepped on it and told him that he ran away to France.

What is he obsessed with? Reading. He enjoys expanding his knowledge

Does he have any pet peeves? Know it alls, the French, and people who don’t stop at stop signs

Does he have any superstitions? No

What’s his favorite swear word? Fuck

One word they would use to describe themselves? Determined

Sense of humor? Dry, witty

What’s his soft spot? His family

Favorite person? Lachlan, he says he’s the only entertainment he needs

Do they rent or own? He owns his own penthouse in NYC.

Do they live in an urban area or rural? Urban

What’s their dream home? A small farmhouse

How long can they hold a grudge? Depends on how upset you make him.

APPEARANCE

Eye Color(s): Blue

Hair Color: Dirty blonde

Hair Style(s): he likes to leave it longer to grow his curls out

Height: 6’2

PERSONALITY

Personality traits: Observant, intelligent, soft spoken

Good Habit(s): Leads a household well, carries healthy relationships

Bad habit(s): Can have a temper, smoker

Like(s): Apple flavored things, spearmint gum

Dislike(s): anything flamin hot

Hobbies: writing

Fear(s): Falling out of love

Fun Facts? He won the spelling bee when he was 10

WORK

Ambition/dream: Take over his father’s nonprofit

Occupation/Job: Working for his father’s company

RELATIONSHIPS

Parent(s): David Holmes (64) - Jude Law

Theresa Holmes (49) - Emma Thompson

Sibling(s): Thomas Holmes, Greyson Holmes, Lachlan Holmes

Relative(s): Hanna Holmes (28) Billie Piper

Pets: Tessa -3

EXTRA

Scent: Like clean laundry and after shave

Outfit(s): Usually button ups, typically prefers long sleeves

Scars: He doesn’t really remember where they came from

Tattoo(es): Angel wings on his back

Jewelry: Ring with his family’s crest

FAVORITES

Favorite Song: The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Favorite Food(s): He has discovered a newfound love for baked potatoes

Favorite Drink(s): Coffee

Favorite Color(s): Blue

Favorite Animal(s): Geese (when he was 16 a flock of geese attacked Greyson)

Favorite Number: 15

Favorite Season(s): Spring

Favorite Holiday(s): Christmas

Favorite Time of Day: Dawn

[holylulusworld]

Beta in heart

Summary: You’ve got a secret.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Beta!Reader (fem)

Side pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega! Cassie Robinson

Warnings: angst, a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, lies, jealousy, unrequited feelings, Dean being an ass, rut

Now, … 

We all lie sometimes. Right? Little white lies to make the person next to you feel more comfortable, or to protect yourself.

In your case, it was the latter. 

Maybe you did it to not be treated like someone’s property. Maybe to protect yourself from getting hurt. 

In the end, it didn’t matter. Not anymore. 

He found out the truth and is furious. Even worse, he tries to break down the door to get inside your room.

His rut won’t let him think straight. If he manages to break your door, he’ll claim you in the heat of the moment. Just like you always feared…

A few days earlier, Cape Girardeau, Missouri

“I wanted to thank you again for helping me,” Cassie guiltily looks at you. 

It’s the first time you met her, but the second time for Sam and Dean helping her with a case. According to what Sam told you, she’s usually bubbly and self-confident. 

But the moment you stepped into her living room, following Sam and Dean to tell her that the wrath had been defeated, she changed. Her eyes drop to the ground, and you frown as you seem to be the reason for her behavior.

“It was nothing, really,” you hastily say before one of the brothers can tell her so. “Dean’s friends are our friends. And it’s our job to hunt down the evil.”

“Well…I…” She trails off, glancing at Dean. “It wasn’t nothing. All of you risked your lives.” 

Sam clears his throat, jerking his head toward the door. “I’ll get the books,” he says. “Can you lend me a hand, Y/N?”

“Sure,” you wrinkle your forehead but follow Sam outside. You know Cassie is an old friend of Dean and maybe he wants to have some time alone with her.

Sam and you left Cassie’s place to get a few hours of sleep. It’s a long drive back to your current hideout, and you don’t want to sleep in the car again.

Dean didn’t come back. Of course, he didn’t. You’re not foolish enough to believe he’d not take the chance and get laid.

You knew the moment Cassie came back into the picture that he’d jumped the chance to have a tête-à-tête with the pretty brunette goddess. 

Years ago, you would’ve spent the night curled into a ball, the pillow tear-stained because of your broken heart. Now it’s just a dull pain you can suppress and ignore.

You accepted a long time ago that Dean is not interested in you in a romantic way. He sees the sister in you they never had. 

Dean came back in the morning, smiling and joking while you tried to hide your sour mood. It’s not his fault that you are in love with the cocky alpha for years. 

You told him about your feelings during a drunk escapade. Dean didn’t remember in the morning, and you acted like you didn’t pour your heart out.

“Cassie invited all of us for lunch,” he casually says. As if you can’t see the hickeys on his neck, or still smell her on him. “What do you say? Sammy? Sweetheart?”

That nickname makes you want to throw up. It sounds like he tries to mock you using it after he fucked some other omega. 

Again, you tell yourself it’s not his fault you fell for him. It’s yours for not telling him how you feel sooner, or while you are sober.

“Fine by me. I’m hungry, and free food is free food,” you casually say while you struggle to keep the sadness out of your voice. “She’s nice.”

“Yeah, she is,” he dreamily says, smiling dopily, breaking your heart even more as he tells you that he wants to come back more often from now on.

“Dean said you are beta, and that you are strong and smart,” Cassie awkwardly looks at you. She stiffly points to the couch, inviting you to sit with her. Dean and Sam wanted to check on another case one town away and you are left with the omega Dean chose over you. “So—uh…you hunt with the boys.”

“For a few years,” you shrug and try to ignore that you can smell Dean on her. He must’ve done more than help her wash the dishes. You shudder and scrunch up your nose.

“What’s wrong with you?” She cocks her head and watches you squirm on the sofa. “Y/N? Are you sick?”

You make a retching noise, concerning her even more. “I’m fine. It’s just…nothing…forget it.” You shake your head.

“Shit,” Cassie exclaims. “You can smell Dean on me. Right? That’s the reason you act like you are about to puke on my carpet. Does he know?”

Your heart drops. She cannot tell Dean. He’ll get mad and chase you away if he ever finds out about your true nature. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Only omegas can smell an alpha,” she softly says and places her hand on your knee. “You are hiding your nature from him, I assume.”

“I-no…”

“Why didn’t you tell him that you are an omega? Why lie to him? If you see him as your alpha…” She sighs deeply as you still refuse to admit that you are not a beta. “We both know that you feel more than friendship for him.”

“If you have an ounce of decency and a heart, you won’t tell him, “You get up from your seat. “You fucked him without asking if I’m his mate. So, you owe me.”

It’s not fair to call Cassie out on sleeping with Dean, but you’ve got no choice. She can’t tell him what she found out. And you will make sure of it.

“She doesn’t want to see me again, Y/N! What did you say to Cassie!” Dean is furious. After your little talk with Cassie, she decided it’s best to make sure that you and Dean finally talk about the elephant in the room.

“I don’t know what you are talking about!”

“She said you are hiding things from me, and that you have feelings for me! I thought we talked about catching feelings. We both agreed on never talking about what you told me that night.”

“You remember?” You shake your head in disbelief. “All this time I believed you were oblivious to my feelings. But you knew all along.”

“You’re beta and we can never be together.”

“What if I was omega? Would my presentation change things between us?” It’s time to be brave and talk to Dean. 

“It doesn’t matter if you are an omega or not. Your presentation wouldn't change a thing. We are friends and should keep it that way.”

“Oh, okay,” you nod and tell yourself again that you are over your crush on the hunter. “Good to know. You should call Cassie and tell her we talked shit out.”

Dean watches you storm off. He sighs and shakes his head. “We can’t ruin our friendship.”

Dean followed your advice and called Cassie. Only for her to turn him down once again.

“Omega? No,” Dean shakes his head. Cassie tried to keep your true nature a secret, but she spilled the truth when Dean tried to kiss her. “Why are you saying these things? Do you want me to leave? Is it that?”

“I want you to talk to your friend! She’s hiding her true nature because of you and your friendship. I think she’s in love with you. You should’ve seen the way she reacted to your scent on my skin.”

Dean opens his mouth. He tries to say something, but then he realizes that Cassie must’ve told him the truth. “My scent?” Dean shakes his head. “That’s impossible. Only omegas can scent an alpha.”

“Exactly,” she softly says. “Dean, as long as you’ve got an omega yearning for you around, we can’t be more than friends.”

Dean slams the door to the bunker shut. He can’t believe Cassie broke things up over a misunderstanding. You can’t be an omega.  

“Where is Y/N?” he asks, glaring in Sam’s direction. Dean is close to losing his composure and has no patience left. “I need to talk to her.”

“She texted me. I think she’s at the bar,” Sam wrinkles his forehead. Something seems to be off with you and his brother. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’ll be at the bar.”

“O-kay. I’ll be here, reading one of the books I bought on our way back. Call me if you need help.”

Watching his brother storm off Sam wonders what happened between you and his brother.

“Do you ever think, whoa, I should jump into my car and just ride into the sunset?” You grumble as Donnie the bartender refills your glass.

“Sometimes,” he shrugs. “I like my job, and this town is nice. People tip me well so, it’s not very often.”

“Hmm…” you nod slowly. “I fucked things up between me and a good friend. Maybe he’ll hate me now.”

“Speaking of said man,” Donnie jerks his head toward the door. “He looks mad. What did you do?”

“Y/N, what are you—” Dean stops in his tracks. He dips his head, and looks you up and down before he takes a step toward you. He stops again, sniffing in your direction. “No. This can’t be.”

“Dean, what are you doing here? I thought you wanted to talk to Cassie.”

“What did you do?” Dean grabs your arm, making you wince as he forgets about his strength.

“Let me go, Dean. You are hurting me,” you wiggle in his tight grip. “Dean!” 

“I can scent you,” he growls. “Why did you hide that you’re an omega? Huh? You hide your nature only to reveal who you really are right when I meet Cassie again.”

“I hate being weak and vulnerable during my heats. And I don’t want anyone to believe I’m a pathetic omega who’s needy all the time and wants to nest. I didn’t want you to see a liability in me!”

You break out of Dean’s grip and run out of the bar. He needs a moment, looking at Donnie before he storms out of the bar to chase after you.

Now, …

Dean came back to the bunker a few hours after you left the bar, his rut in full swing. When Sam tried to stop him from getting to you, he knocked his brother out.

“Open the fucking door or I’ll break it down,” Dean warns one last time. “I mean it, Y/N! OPEN IT!”

He kicks the door again. This time the lock gives in, and the door creaks open. You hide under your bed, hoping Dean will calm down before he does something he’ll regret…

Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 3: Angst with a Happy Ending

39 fics under the readmore

Conditional Miracle | @vampamber

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,551 Main Tags/Warnings: season 12 finale, in-canon temporary character death, love confession Summary: Chuck can bring Castiel back to life, but only on one condition: Dean has to tell Castiel how he feels about him. Not that "You're family, Cas" stuff, but how Dean actually feels. A coda for s12e23 "All Along the Watchtower" (a bit late, but better late than never)

Sharp edges | @chaoticdean

Rating: General Word Count: 1,638 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, (although he does come back at the very end), Temporary Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt, Angst with a Happy Ending, Letters, Five Stages of Grief, post spn 15x18spn coda, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, written several months before the actual episode Summary: Castiel told him he loved him right before getting swallowed up by the Empty. Sam told him to talk, but words won’t come out, and really, how is he supposed to tell anyone how it feels to lose everything? So he writes. Letters on napkins, motel notepads, paperback books. He writes as he goes through every steps of grief, until finally there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

What the Water Gave Him | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,794 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Implied/Reference Character Death, Sam Finds Out Summary: It was over. Chuck lost, Sam and Dean can live their lives how they want them. But their victory wasn't without losses. The biggest upset nearly taking Dean out of the game, happening so close to the final battle. Now he's on the other side, alive against all odds, but Sam knows he isn't happy. Not truly happy since the Empty stole his best friend. But there's a chance they can save him. A slim chance. A risk that Dean's willing to take despite every logical nerve in Sam's body screaming at him to look for better options. That threading a needle this small is too dangerous. That they don't have to take on another big bad, not anymore. That they don't have to risk their lives anymore. Dean is far past the point of listening. Dead set on this mission, Sam can only watch. And pray his brother proves him wrong.

A Classic Fear Of Rejection | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,841 Main Tags/Warnings: pining, anxious Cas, Dean has self worth issues, love confession Summary: Castiel has been in love with Dean for almost ten years now. Ever since he'd raised the Righteous Man from perdition, actually. But Dean appears to be straight, so the angel just pined for him instead, fearing rejection. At Sam's insistence, Castiel finally admits his feelings, and it turns out that the angel may have been wrong about the elder Winchester's orientation.

The Things You Almost Say (But Never Do) | @wingsdestiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,967 Main Tags/Warnings: Light Angst, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonverse, Season 11 Summary: Team Free Will hasn't been much of a team lately, and Castiel wishes that Dean would stop avoiding everything.

Forget Me Not | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,932 Main Tags/Warnings: top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Therapy, Makeup Sex, Marriage Proposal, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: A tragic accident during an argument leaves Cas with a head injury and amnesia, but Dean is determined to stay by his husband's side, even when the memories that return are painful. Can they move past the memories?

Forgetting Your Blues | @amirosebooks

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,440 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 12 finale fix-it, amnesia, temporary main character death, fluff and angst, getting together, openly bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean Jones doesn't know his real name. He woke up on a public park bench a few months back with an empty wallet and a driver's license listing the name Dean Jones with his picture. The name doesn't feel right on his tongue, but he doesn't remember what part is wrong. The cop who found him in the park got Dean a job in a local diner. The diner feels comfortable to Dean. He understands the rhythm of the place, the ebb and flow of the people and food, even if he's clearly never carried a tray of hot plates in his life. He settles into his new life. He makes new friends. He takes beautiful women and men and people to his bed for comfort on long nights. He has nightmares about blood covering his hands. Who is he? Why has no one come looking for him? What has he done? Why did he fall apart when he saw a guy wearing a tan trenchcoat?

I NEED YOU | @cooloddball

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,675 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Making up Summary: Sam is so done with Dean and Cas' bullshit. Time to get some things sorted out.

Even if the sky gets rough | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,360 Main Tags/Warnings: Fuck Or Die, cursed!Dean, dubcon, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings Summary: Dean can’t believe he got cursed again. Only this time it’s a lot worse, because if he can’t find someone to fuck him… well, he dies.

spes alit et falit. | @celestialsilhouette

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,524 Main Tags/Warnings: djinn fic, angst with a happy ending, first time Summary: ~hope sustains and deceives~ Dean wakes up with a gasp. He shoots up in his bed, panting, heart pounding, and wide awake. He grips the sheets in his hands tightly and swivels his head to look around the room, making a half-aborted movement to reach under the pillows for the gun he knows always lies there, the smooth metal familiar and comforting. He doesn’t recognize where he is.

Don't Call Me Demon | @angzlicas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6,432 Main Tags/Warnings: Demon!Dean, MOC!Dean, Human Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Canon Compliant, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas Summary: Dean’s shouting at this point, his eyes pure black again, and Castiel can feel the anger and panic tainting the room. It’s charged with emotion, even though most demons are incapable of feeling anything other than hatred and malice. It feels like fear. Or the one where Cas wants to take the mark from Dean

Life in prison | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,084 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt Dean Winchester, Dean had to steal food to eat, Dean had sex for money in this, Thief Dean Winchester, almost murderer Castiel, Semi-Public Sex, implied bottom dean Winchester, Non-Penetrative Sex, Soft Dean Winchester, almost rape (non Destiel), Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Alternate Universe - PrisonPrisonAlternate Universe, Prison Sex Summary: When Dean gets arrested for stealing food, he has to face prison at 21. He is scared and his cellmate seems a bit harsh too. Will he warm up to him eventually? Or could he even fall in love with a prisoner?

Four of Swords | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: No Rating Word Count: 7,127 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Human Cas, Baths, Dean Winchester has Self-Worth Issues, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Summary: The Four of Swords, in the present position, means you don't want to interact with the rest of the world. Because of stress, you need to spend some time with yourself - unhealthy always being 'on'. That the healthiest thing to do is to escape. Dean might crave escape, but it's not something he thinks he can have. Something he deserves, even. After his and Sam's most recent hunt, this cancerous feeling has grown heavy and weighs him down. He cannot escape on his own, as best he tries. Luckily a guardian 'former angel' angel swoops in at his lowest. Helps pick up the pieces as best he can and lovingly put them back together. But he can only do so much. The rest is up to Dean. Can Dean take those final steps, say those final words, and finally free himself?

Free To Be Us | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,011 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Switching, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Claiming Bites, Semi-Public Sex, Kidnapping, emancipation, broken bonds, Suicide attempt mentioned, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Dystopia Summary: In a Dystopian world, Alphas and Omegas are rare. So rare that they meet only at semi-annual, semi-corrupt conventions organized by Betas, all for the purpose of breeding. Dean is one such Alpha, prized more for his seed than for himself, and untouched. Raised to value the system, he's about to have his world turned upside down, and it all starts with a decadent scent.

Not Here for Me | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8,113 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Humans, Alternate Universe - 2000s, Gay Bars, Closeted Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, references to Dean's bad childhood Summary: If he had the choice, Dean never would have stepped foot inside this place. But Sam was curious - and curious is a hell of a lot better than the depression that clung to him day after day since Jess left him. So Dean swallows his pride, joins Sam as his babysitter. So he won't get find himself in any trouble. Trouble, however, is more likely to find Dean. In the bowels of his personal hell, can Dean resist temptations that have plagued him his entire life? Or will someone descend and lend a hand, showing Dean that the darkness he imagined only lived inside his own mind. And all that he feared was not as he seemed if he let himself step out of the shadows of his past.

Bearing A Heart | @lockandk3yfiction

Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,421 Main Tags/Warnings: Female Castiel (Supernatural); Castiel in a Female Vessel (Supernatural); Genderbending; Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural); Possessive Castiel (Supernatural); Miscommunication; Running Away; Death Threats; Angst with a Happy Ending; Abundant Mention of Death pertaining to an unborn child Summary: Castiel believes she is becoming more human in the way that she sleeps and eats. It’s a repercussion of falling after all. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s what she gives up to maintain her relationships with the people that she cares about. But what if she shared more than a “last night on Earth” with Dean Winchester? When Castiel learns that she is bearing the heart of another living being, the angel decides to do all in her power to protect her child.

Take Your Human Charge To Work Day (WIP) | @pointyearedelvishprincling

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11,222 Main Tags/Warnings: mutual pining, fluff and smut, case fic, top!castiel/bottom dean winchester, canon typical violence, angst with a happy ending, love confession, castiel dream walking, memory alteration, Summary: Written in third person with alternating POV of Dean & Cas. Something's changed between Dean and Castiel. Dean asks Cas to take him along wherever it is the angel goes when he's not around the Winchesters. He's curious, that's all. No feelings involved. It'll be fun. Dean's ready for Cas to take the wheel on their adventure, but turns out some feelings aren't so easy to repress when it's just the two of you. Cas needs some time alone. It's a heavy burden hearing Dean's longing like a constant prayer while Cas is trying to resist his own feelings. Now he's stuck in LA on a case that could have taken him minutes to solve, and Dean is very distracting. Why is it they can only let their guards down when faced with losing the other?

Scentless | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11,416 Main Tags/Warnings: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Getting Together, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas Summary: Cas lost his mate and his scent a year ago when his scent gland was burned in order to brand him as a barren omega. Ever since then, he has been trying to pass as a beta, hiding his mutilated scent gland under the collar of his shirts. This works pretty well for him, until he meets alpha Dean Winchester, who turns his life upside down.

Mated (WIP) | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14,721 Main Tags/Warnings: Falling in Love, Strangers to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Dean in Denial about Sexuality, Alpha Cas, Alpha Dean, Bottom Cas, Top Dean Summary: Of course, if Dean had known that it was possible for an alpha to mate another alpha, he would never have let himself get carried away and bitten the hot alpha’s mating gland in the throes of passion. It wasn’t like he was into alphas, after all… Right? Having accidentally mated the most awesome alpha, he might have to rethink some things about himself as he gets to know his mate and starts falling for him.

Scented | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 19,298 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Mpreg, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas, Top Dean, Bottom Cas Summary: Cas could not believe that a sweet and sexy alpha like Dean was interested in him—burned and barren omega, social outcast with an abusive ex-mate. To make their new relationship work, they have to figure out how to deal with Cas’ insecurities, society’s prejudices, and a surprise here and there along the way…

Tacoma | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20,055 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon divergent, season 15 breakup, angst with a happy ending Summary: After an explosive fight, Castiel leaves the bunker and Dean decides to let him go. As Cas ventures halfway across the country on a journey to find himself, Dean reevaluates what he needs from life. And what he needs is Cas.

I Will Hang My Head Low | @andimeantittosting

Rating: Mature Word Count: 22,403 Main Tags/Warnings: Fairytale/Folklore AU, Sick Cas, Temporary MCD, Grief/Mourning, Boy King!Sam Summary: Dean Winchester gave up hunting when his brother became the prophesied Boy King of Hell. Now he ekes out a meager living, chopping wood for a nearby village, until one snowy night, he follows what appears to be a falling star, and encounters an injured angel. Afterwards, he tries to put the strange night from his mind. When he meets Castiel, a mysterious man with healing powers, they form an instant connection, and the more Dean learns of Castiel's powers—to heal, to protect, to purify—the more he begins to hope that Sam can be saved. But as they prepare to save Sam, Castiel grows sick, and then sicker still. Too late, Dean learns how much Castiel is willing to sacrifice for him. Inspired by the Decemberists' Crane Wife and the Japanese myth on which it is based.

The Awakening | Eggplant47 (A03)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,144 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe--Human, past child abuse (not explicit), past rape (not explicit), past child sexual abuse (just mentioned), Drug Use, Drunk Driving, Prostitution (past), Infidelity (not between Dean and Cas), Switching Summary: Dean Winchester had always lived on the surface of life, but a bump on the head and his young, blue-eyed brother-in-law are about to push him into the deep.

Lost Together | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,551 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Lucifer (Supernatural), bottom Castiel/top Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Witch Castiel (Supernatural), Familiars, Animal Abuse, Animal Death, Minor Character Death, Racism, Homophobic Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, True Mates, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Explicit Sexual Content, Claiming Bites, Knotting, Mpreg, Happy Ending, Shapeshifting Summary: Castiel is a powerful Omega witch, but even his magic can’t save him and those around him from his ex, Lucien. When his familiar is brutally killed, Cas vows never to take another familiar because he can’t imagine risking another animal’s life. A wolf roaming his property has other ideas. Meanwhile, his new neighbour, an Alpha named Dean, is worming his way into his heart in a way that Cas can’t resist. Can the two souls overcome danger, broken hearts, and secrets together, or will they remain lost? Through tragedy and misunderstandings, Dean and Cas are destined to be together. But destiny’s road can be deadly.

The Driver | @friendofcarlotta

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,963 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Stunt Driver Dean Winchester, Getaway Driver Dean Winchester, Convenience Store Clerk Castiel, Waiter Castiel, Kid Fic, Single Father Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Inspired by "Drive" (2011) Summary: Dean Winchester is a mechanic and occasional movie stunt driver living in LA. Most people don't know that Dean also drives getaway cars for armed robberies. For months now, Dean has been nursing a crush on his neighbor, a single father named Castiel. When a violent turf war between Dean's boss and a rival gangster threatens to compromise the safety of Castiel and his son, Dean makes a choice that will change his life forever.

(You Don’t Have To) Say You Love Me | @darknessbound3

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 44,379 Main Tags/Warnings: Heavy Angst, Top!Cas/Bottom!Dean, Separation, Reconciliation, Pining Summary: Six months after Castiel walked out on a twelve year marriage to Dean, he decides it’s time for a divorce. Dean, on the other hand, isn’t so sure, and is willing to stop at nothing to win his husband back.

The (Un)Buried Past | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Mature Word Count: 53,282 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Deaths, Gore and Blood, Angst, Intense Violence and use of guns, background relationships, Implied Smut Summary: After six years of living as a civilian, Dean has gotten rusty when it comes to defending himself. But, when the past comes knocking down everything in its way, Dean has to sink back into his old skin to get back what he wants. Ad what he finds out during the journey is not what he wants.

A Driver Worth His Salt | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67,844 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depiction of Violence, Mafia AU Vibe, BAMF Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean, Trauma Summary: The job is simple: drive the passenger a few times a week to yet-undisclosed locations and return with said passenger without fail. Be on time. Be discreet. And never interact with each other outside of work. Once twenty-year-old Dean meets the passenger in question—the sharply dressed and rough-looking Castiel Novak—he finds that abiding by those shady rules may be more complicated than he had anticipated.

All the Night Tide | @funnywings

Rating: Mature Word Count: 72,315 Main Tags/Warnings: Pirate AU, Golden Age of Piracy, Mythology and Lore, Temporary Major Character Death, Pirate!Castiel, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Kidnapped for ransom by his childhood best friend, Dean is eager to return home and escape the pirate ship that has become his prison. But when Castiel sets his sights on a dangerous new quest, Dean chooses to stay by his side, even if it means facing down Death itself.

help me get where I belong (WIP) | ravenkings (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 73,437 Main Tags/Warnings: alcoholism, substance abuse, referenced child abuse, referenced assault, extensive crafting Summary: Dean Winchester just needs to get through a quick three-month stint in rehab to appease his little brother, then he'll be back to boozing away the rest of his short, shitty life. Except he kind of likes the group therapy leaders for AA, he's getting way better at watercoloring, and the crazy-haired guy on the NA side of the ward keeps winking at him.

Missing | @kitmistry

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 93,025 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow Burn, Murder Mystery, Post-Breakup, Mutual Pining, Heavy Angst, Minor Character Death, John Winchester's A+ parenting Summary: Two years ago Dean Winchester broke his heart. Now he's at Castiel's doorstep, asking for his help, but there's nothing Dean can say that will convince Castiel to listen. Or so he thinks. Faced with the news of Sam's disappearance, he decides to put his anger aside and follows Dean to a rural town in Nebraska, where they end up tangled in the missing girl investigation Sam was looking into. With an unknown threat closing in on them and all the things left unsaid between them about to be revealed, Castiel and Dean race against time to find Sam before it's too late.

All the Reasons We Are Real | @charlies-secret-closet and @jupiticas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 96,466 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Fluff, Canon Adjacent, Sam Winchester Ships Destiel, Destiel Fluff, Abusive John Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Charlie Ships Destiel, Self Worth Issues, Major Angst, You Will Cry, Summary: Sam is tired of it. Tired of the staring contests and the eye-sex and the 'standing two inches apart' thing. With a little help from Rowena and Heller-Queen-Charlie, Sam becomes the matchmaker: and tries to make his ship canon. Meanwhile, Cas is hiding a painful secret about a certain deal, and Dean is hiding his deepest truth. Until one night, when their long-awaited happiness becomes their greatest sorrow. Written in the original canon universe, this fic uses many canon scenes from the series to show that Destiel doesn't need fanfiction to be real. It has always been there, it will always be there, and it is REAL.

Twenty-Nine Steps | @scones-and-texting-and-murder

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 113,621 Main Tags/Warnings: underage, rape/noncon , PTSD, past child abuse, child sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, repressed memories Summary: At the age of forty, Dean Winchester has a strong, loving marriage, a successful business, and a young nephew he absolutely dotes upon. He and Cas are living the kind of life Dean never thought was meant for him, one where the future stretches out before them, solid and bright. When a series of small and seemingly unrelated events coalesce into a larger, horrifying realization, he’s rocked to his very core. With so much of what he thought he knew about himself ripped away, he’s trapped between confronting the trauma of his past and believing he’s worthy of the life he’s built.

Still Breathing | @casbelieves

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 124,924 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con, Drug Use, Self-Harm, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Mentions of Suicide, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reunion, Angst, First Love, Unrequited Love, Foster Care, Smut, Switch!Cas, Switch!Dean, Angst With a Happy Ending Summary: Castiel has no reason to trust anyone. As a teenager in the foster care system, he’s experienced horrific and unspeakable acts of violence and abuse that will haunt him for the rest of his life. When he arrives in Pacifica, CA, as the newest addition to the Singer’s foster family, the last thing he expects is to develop a deep and unbreakable bond with the boy-next-door, Dean Winchester. But Dean isn’t as in control of his own life as it seems, and the two struggle to navigate homophobia, trauma, and the pressures of an impending adulthood. When they meet again as young adults, eight years after their falling out, they are given a chance to rekindle a fire that never truly went out.

Patient Love (WIP) | @chaoticdean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 152,765 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Settings, US Navy SEAL Dean Winchester, Journalist Castiel, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, War Injury, PTSD, Grief/Mourning, Friends to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Angst With a Happy Ending, Switch Dean/Switch Cas Summary: Castiel Novak is 27 when he suddenly loses his twin brother Jimmy, and his whole world turns to ashes. After 10 years as a Navy Special Warfare Operator, a battlefield injury forces 28-year-old Chief Petty Officer Dean Winchester to chose between being stuck behind a desk for the rest of his career or going back to civil life. Things are already complicated and painful enough as it is, but when former lovers Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak meet again after 10 years of radio silence and a galaxy of wounds and scars solidly standing between them, it feels like both a curse and a blessing has been placed on them both. Is there any hope in putting back their broken pieces together after a decade, and how do you deal with grief and broken dreams?

The Offering | @deans-jiggly-pudding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 167,703 Main Tags/Warnings: Incubus!Castiel, AU - high school, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, rape/non-con elements, heavy angst with a happy ending Summary: As a pastor's son, Dean Winchester is expected to be all the things he's not: the church poster child, compliant with every plan his father has for him, and of course, straight. Fighting the confines of his father's faith and the control it has over his life, Dean is caught in the middle of a teen lock-in activity that will change his life. The boys accidentally summon an incubus named Cas, and his demands are clear. Dean discovers Cas to be everything he expected... Yet, even the darkest of creatures has secrets of his own. Can they be together, despite who they are, and despite everything designed to keep them apart?

A Ghost Story (WIP) | @valleydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 248,988 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Character Death, Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Gardener Dean Winchester, Rich Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Period-Typical Homophobia, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Magic, College | University Student Dean Winchester, Ghost Castiel (Supernatural), Haunted Houses, Established Relationship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Arranged Marriage, POV Dean Winchester, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Witch Hunters, Animal Death, Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Secret Relationship, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Soulmates Summary: Castiel Novak has haunted his family's estate for 150 years, awaiting the return of his lost love. Upon their reunion, Dean Winchester learns of his past reincarnation. After the night of Castiel's resurrection, the two try to find out why they've been given a second chance. The answers may be hidden in the forgotten memories of Dean's former life - but sometimes the truth is better left buried.

Time Won’t Let Me | Aketch-22 (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 253,520 Main Tags/Warnings: Non Explicit Sex, Closeted Castiel, Hurt Comfort, Harry Potter Crossover, Angst and Feels Summary: Entering his 5th year of the Voldemort-controlled Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, muggle-born Dean Winchester is faced with the prospect of the Choosing - a ceremony where twelve students are picked based on blood status to participate in the Mudblood Games. In the Games, the tributes are transported to Purgatory. If you're the first to find your way to the portal out, you become part of Voldemort's world - and if you're not, you die. Will Dean, Sam, Castiel and the others be Chosen, or will they simply have to sit by and watch their friends suffer at the hands of the cruelest supernatural threat the trio have ever faced?

The Exceptional Bad Boy | @thedevil-is-in-the-details

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 329,619 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Castiel / Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester / Top Castiel, Past Rape / Non-con, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Alcohol Abuse / Alcoholism, Drugs, Suicide Attempt, Fluff and Smut, Tattoed Castiel, Depression, Anxiety, Self-harm, Stalking, Minor Character Death Summary: Again, they move to a new town and Dean is so sick of always moving around and always being the new kid at school. And he wants something better for his little brother Sam. But their father can't manage to keep a job for longer than two months. No matter where they are, there is one thing that is always the same though. Dean's reputation as bad boy. It was never a problem that there were already other bad boys because Dean was always the worst. But now, he has keen competition – Castiel Novak. Covered in tattoos, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, breaking other people's noses... Novak's reputation precedes him. But that he's still different than every bad boy Dean's ever met is pretty clear though, from the very first moment they meet.

[writethelifeyouwant]

Told You So

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Jack Kline 

Rating: 18+

Tags: sex toys, dom/sub, wrist restraints, coming untouched, dirty talk, slut shaming, choking, cum eating

Word Count: 2.3k 

Summary: Jack doesn’t believe that Sam can make him come without touching his dick. 

Created for: @winklinebingo - Sex Toys | @spnrareshipbingo - Jack / Sam | @spnkinkbingo - Coming Untouched

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Jack shivers as Sam’s fingers trail over his shoulder, tracing down his arm, the feeling somehow amplified through the cotton of his jacket catching on the hairs standing up from his skin. 

“How you feeling, kid?” Dean asks through a gulp of beer. “You look a little–” he waves his hand around in front of his face, indicating that he’s noticed the flushed, far off look Jack must have going on right about now. 

“I’m fine, Dean,” Jack swallows, aiming for a grin but only achieving a grimace, and jumping slightly when Sam’s fingers connect with his under the war-table. 

“Dean’s right, Jack,” Sam cuts in, leaning forward under the pretense of looking closer at Jack to check he’s alright, but actually creeping his hand further up the boy’s thigh. “You sure you’re okay, you do look a little…” Sam trails off, smirking when he sees Dean isn’t looking at them, “worked up.” 

Jack wants to scoff in Sam’s face, but that would be impolite. Of course, he’s fucking worked up right now. He’s had a small remote control toy buzzing against his prostate for the past twenty minutes. It had felt so unbelievable at first, like he could have come in about 30 seconds if Sam had told him he was allowed to, but then Sam had dropped the speed down to its lowest setting, and the unrelenting buzz had dulled into just about manageable — just about ignorable — unless he shifts even an inch, and then the pleasure pulses through his limbs and send even more blood rushing to his crotch. Honestly, he’s surprised there’s enough blood left in the top half of his body for his face to be blushing at all. It feels like every drop of blood in his body has pushed itself into his cock, it feels so hard and full, and like it could burst at any second. 

“I’m fine, S–” Jack squeaks when Sam’s long, sinful  fingers curl around the bulge in his pants and the speed of the vibrator jumps up a notch simultaneously. 

“No, I think you should go lay down.” Sam’s face is the picture of fatherly concern and sage advice, the dickhead. “You don’t want to get caught with your pants down during a hunt if you’re coming over with something.” 

“I’ll be coming over something,” Jack mumbles to himself, hating Sam and his fucking teasing. 

“Huhm?” Dean grunts, only half paying attention on the other side of the table, where his burger is much more interesting than Jack maybe having a cold. 

“I am going to go lay down,” Jack announces as he springs out of his chair abruptly, disguising the gasp he’d just let slip when Sam turned the toy up another notch, with the sound of the chair grating against the concrete floors as he pushed out of his seat. He carefully angles his body behind Sam’s chair, so as not to display his hard on and the wet spot he’d been steadily growing on the front of his jeans for the past half hour.  

“I’ll come check on you in a bit, buddy,” Sam squeezes Jack’s bicep, pressing right over a bruise he’d left there the night before, knowing he was tormenting Jack even more by reminding him of the claiming mark he’d bitten into his skin. Reminding him ‘you’re mine, you and your body and your pleasure— They. Are. Mine.’ 

Jack could barely choke down his whimper at Sam’s touch, the soreness of his bruise recalling the delicious soreness he still felt between his legs – an ache that was being accentuated by the now rhythmic vibrating of the small toy inside of him. The pattern beat against the nerves inside him maddeningly. Just as the vibrations grew to a strength that might be able to tip him over the edge into relief they disappeared, leaving the toy still and silent for a moment before starting the torture over again. 

Inside his room, Jack collapsed to his knees at the foot of the bed, relishing in the moan he could finally let loose now he was alone. The toy inside him pressed just below the sweet spot inside of him in this position, and he let himself relax and settle into it. He knew that Sam would make him wait for a bit, make him sweat and squirm. Sometimes this was the best part. When he was all alone, only kept company by his own desperate thoughts – this was when Jack realised just how much of a slut he really was. 

Sure, Sam told him he was all the time. When he was on his knees with Sam’s cock down his throat, or when Sam pressed him against the back of the Impala and made him grind against that thick, muscular, hunter’s thigh until he came in his pants, or when Sam caught him jerking off in the shower only a few hours after Sam had fucked him into the mattress, or when Sam noticed his inappropriate boner during a case and told him to go wait for him in the police station bathroom, where Sam promptly handcuffed him and ate him out until he came without being touched. Jack was most definitely a slut, and he knew it. But here, in the cold fluorescent light of his bunker bedroom, knees going numb on the concrete beneath him, and sweat dripping beneath the collar of his t-shirt – this is where he felt the humiliation most keenly. 

The fact that Jack wasn’t just a slut for Sam, wasn’t just doing all those dirty things because he was being told to, but would sit here and torture himself willingly, was the thing that made Jack feel the dirtiest he ever did. Of course, Sam knew what Jack was thinking, that he loved his time alone spent contemplating just how much of a fucking whore he really was, and Sam loved how desperate it made Jack when he did finally join him again. 

“There’s a good boy,” Jack hears Sam murmur as he steps into the room, the vibrations in the plug jumping down to its lowest, thrumming level. Jack lets out a shaky sigh, but keeps his position on his knees, back straight, waiting for Sam to give him his instructions. Sam brushes his hand over the back of the boy’s head as he moves around his kneeling form to sit on the foot of the bed, carefully placing the toy’s remote control on the blanket next to him. He reaches out a hand to rest on Jack’s cheek, the big fingers nearly engulfing his face, and Jack has to fight his instincts to sit straight instead of leaning into the touch. “How you doing?” Sam asks, voice heavy with sympathy. 

“Good,” Jack pants, hoping he sounds convincing, but knowing Sam will see through him in a heartbeat. 

“You still look pretty flushed to me,” Sam muses, brushing a stray hair off Jack’s forehead. “Maybe you should lay down, get yourself out of these clothes into something more… comfortable.” Jack closes his eyes and whimpers, nodding, he wants that so badly. “Okay, if I let you lay down, the vibrations on your toy are gonna go back up again. Can you handle that?” 

Jack nods again, furiously. “Yes, Sam, please.” 

“Okay, c’mon, up you get.” Sam pulls Jack up by his wrists and starts to peel the boy’s jacket off. Jack lets Sam manipulate him out of his clothes, shivering in the cool of the air as the layers are dropped by his feet. When he’s been stripped bare, Sam pulls him onto the bed, guiding his hands to the restraints they keep attached to each corner of the headboard and buckles him in. The bruises on Jack’s arms and shoulders stand out against his pale skin, which is shimmering with the sweat of his earlier exertions. Sam’s fingers trace over the marks and down Jack’s chest, around each pink nipple, standing erect in the cool air of the bedroom, down his stomach to the soft trail of hair below his belly button, avoiding the angry pink cock currently twitching against the sharp jut of his hip bone. Jack had done so well keeping quiet while Sam laid him out the way he wanted him, but under the man’s taunting touch, he can’t keep his whines in his throat any more. 

“Please, Sam,” Jack mewls, bucking his hips into the air, hoping to push Sam’s fingers against his cock where he wants them. 

“Tch, tch, tch,” Sam tuts, unimpressed. “I told you, baby boy, no one is going to be touching that cock tonight.” Sam’s smirk is infuriating. 

“Sam,” Jack whines again, “I really need to cum. Please. I’ll –” he pants, grasping for words “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, just let me cum. Please, Sam, please.” 

“I didn’t tell you you couldn’t cum baby,” Sam sits on the bed, picking up the remote and turning up the pace, like he’d threatened. “You can cum whenever you want to. I just said you can’t touch yourself to make it happen.” Jack whines petulantly, making Sam laugh, and he switches the pattern of the vibrations in the boy’s plug again. 

“But I’ll never cum like this Sam,” Jack complains, struggling against his restraints, and Sam is glad he had the foresight to lock him down. 

“Oh, really?” Sam ups the intensity of the vibrations and Jack arches off the bed, moaning. “You don’t think a little slut like you can cum just from a little toy up their ass? Don’t think you’re desperate enough?” He changes the pattern to something quicker - sharper - and Jack hisses. “If you were a good little whore, you wouldn’t need anyone to touch that little cock, you’d cum when I tell you to, heh? But…” Sam stands, twirling the remote in his palm, “if you don’t think you can, I’ll just –” he clicks the ‘off’ button on the plug, and Jack lets out the most pathetic whimper yet, instantly missing the pleasure that had been coursing through him for the past hour. 

“No! Sam, no, I’m sorry, please. Please let me cum,” Jack begs, squirming in his restraints. 

“I told you, I wasn’t stopping you,” Sam smirks wickedly. 

“Please,” Jack is almost crying, Sam can see the tears shimmering in his eyes. 

“If I turn this back on, are you going to be a good boy, and do what I tell you?” 

“Yes, I promise, please, Sam, please, turn it back on. I need to cum, please.” Sam walks back to the bed, stroking Jack’s cheek tenderly, victory glowing in his eyes. 

“So pretty when you beg, baby boy,” Sam coos, and Jack nuzzles into his touch. When Sam turns the toy back on, Jack jumps, twisting his head to whimper into his pillow. “Nope, don’t you dare,” Sam grins and yanks on Jack’s hair, pulling his face up. “Don’t hide those noises from me, baby. Wanna hear how much of a little slut you are for me. Want you to get as loud as you can for me, let Dean hear how desperate you are, yeah? You my needy little whore, baby?”

“Yes!” Jack whines, the intensity of the toy ratcheting up, the increased speed pressing it harder against the spot inside of him that is starting to burn. 

“Want to hear you say it,” Sam’s voice has hardened, and he drags his hand down Jack’s face to his throat, his fingers easily wrapping most of the way around. 

“I’m a slut, a needy little slut, fuck, just need to cum, Sam, please,” Jack groans desperately. 

“Yeah? Needy little slut needs to cum?” Sam teases, squeezing against the veins on either side of the boy’s neck, working to make him light-headed, while also turning the toy up another setting. “Why don’t you do it then, baby boy? Cum for me real loud, want you screamin’,” Sam is panting now too, his own arousal barely being held in check as he torments Jack – it will be his turn soon. 

“Please,” Jack is crying now, hips humping down into nothing, looking for resistance that won’t come. He looks pathetic, and Sam loves it. 

“I told you” —Sam’s chest heaves and he turns the toy up to its highest setting, leaning over Jack’s face and squeezing around his fragile little throat— “to cum, you little slut.” He spits into Jack’s mouth, which is frozen open in pleasure. 

“Oh, fuck, God, ah–” Jack’s words trail off into unintelligible noises as his hips launch off the bed and he cums in sharp bursts, the shiny white liquid splashing up his chest, onto his face and lips, and Sam’s hand. Sam is panting nearly as hard as Jack as he watches the boy spurt cum all over himself, he’s always loved when he can make Jack lose control this completely. 

“That’s a good boy,” Sam huffs, trying to get himself under control long enough to finish taking care of Jack. “Told you so, didn’t I?” he smirks. Jack whimpers in acknowledgement, but he isn’t quite recovered enough for words yet. Sam lets go of his throat and examines the cum shining on his knuckles. “You didn’t believe me, did you?” 

“I’m sorry,” Jack whimpers tiredly, slumping back against his pillows. 

“You believe me now?” Sam checks, and Jack doesn’t see the mischievous glint in Sam’s eyes because his own are still closed while he nods. Sam runs his fingers along Jack’s chest to collect the cum still glistening against the creamy, pale skin, pushing the dirty fingers between Jack’s lips when they’ve gathered everything they can. Jack’s eyes open wide in shock, but he sucks Sam down eagerly, confused – but still craving his approval. “In case you needed proof,” Sam chuckles, letting Jack suckle on his fingers and clean every last drop of his own cum from Sam’s skin.

“I still get to touch you though, right?” Jack checks anxiously, looking at the impressive bulge that Sam has started to free from his jeans. 

“You fuckin’ better,” Sam growls, shedding his jeans and briefs and climbing onto the bed to straddle Jack’s chest. “Open up, baby.”

Tags: @vulgar-library​ @tintentrinkerin​ @negans-lucille-tblr​ @fandomfic-galore​ @petitgateau911​ @whoreforackles​ @schaefchenherde​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @little-diable​ @laxe-chester67​ @kassyscarlett​ @sonofslaanesh69​ @stoneyggirl​ 

[calaofnoldor]

Sixth Time’s the Charm [3]

(not my gif)

Characters: Sam x F!Reader, Dean

Words: 3,695

Series Summary: All the times Dean has tried to get Sam to admit his feelings for you.

Chapter Summary: Dean suggests the two of you pose as a couple for a case. Sam objects wholeheartedly. (aka Sam and Y/N go to therapy.)

Warnings: jealous!sam, jealous!reader, language, idiots in love, mutual pining, fake marriage, kind of a case!fic, slow burn, fluff, basically all the tropes

A/N: hi loves, sorry this took so long! had some trouble with this one and i’m still not completely happy with it but hopefully you guys enjoy anyway. and i’m sorry the chapters keep getting longer, haha this whole series was only supposed to be a one-shot. oops.

written for @spnfluffbingo and @girl-next-door-writes make me feel bingo!

Square Filled: Fake Marriage for @spnfluffbingo and Mutual Pining for @girl-next-door-writes​

← BACK UP | MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

The third time was honestly quite fun for Dean. It started with a rare night of relaxation. The three of you were hanging out around a table in the bunker library, steadily working your way through a six-pack Sam had brought back from a supply run earlier. Dean had his legs crossed and feet propped up casually before him, while you and Sam were scrolling leisurely through the internet on your respective laptops.

“I think I just found us a case,” Sam had started with furrowed brows, as he sat up to get a closer look at his screen. “So get this, two married couples in Wisconsin were found dead after visiting the same couples therapist.”

“Does it say how?” you asked, fidgeting with the label on your beer bottle.

“Yeah, they all fell from windows in upper stories.”

Your brows flew up and you huffed in disbelief, “You’re right, seems like a rather unlikely coincidence, probably something up our alley.”

At this point, Dean was ready to burst with glee. God himself could not have presented a better opportunity. If things worked out, he could finally put an end to Sam’s petulant spasms and eradicate the sexual tension that hung so potently (and disturbingly) throughout the air whenever you and Sam were in the same room.

“Well, I guess we know what we gotta do…” Dean tried to fight the grin on his lips as he turned to you, “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

With a perfectly straight face, he managed to ask, “Will you marry me?”

The mouthful of beer that Sam was about to swallow erupted forth in a cascade of tiny droplets, spritzing through the air as he began to cough and choke on what little alcohol had somehow made it down the wrong pipe.

You immediately looked over to see if he was alright, not expecting to find the usually adroit and graceful man a sputtering, red-faced mess, “Geez, Sam. Are you okay?” Rising from your seat to move towards him, you stopped when he held out a large palm and waved it at you as a form of both reassurance and interception.

“Yea- yeah, I’m fine,” Sam wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, taking a moment to recompose himself before sending you an awkward little smile of gratitude.

Dean cleared his throat, “So whaddya say, Y/N/N?”

“Huh?”

“About my proposal, before Sammy so rudely interrupted.” Sam was glaring holes through his brother now, but Dean paid him no attention.

“Oh, right,” you chose your next words carefully, “Umm, you mean you wanna go undercover?”

Dean shrugged his shoulders, tilting his head to the side as he raised his eyebrows in a suggestive smirk, “If the shoe fits…”

“Well aren’t you romantic?” you quipped sarcastically.

“Oh sweetheart, just you wait and see,” Dean sent you a wink that you were sure had dropped many a panty in his time yet held little to no effect over you because… well because you were busy being a little too enraptured by his baby brother. That didn’t seem to stop Dean though, “Trust me, as your loving husband-” It was Sam’s turn to clear his throat, but again Dean ignored him, “I'm gonna romance the shit outta you.”

You scoffed at him in amusement, “Right, you mean when we go to couples therapy?”

“Baby girl, you’d be surprised-”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Sam couldn’t hold it in any longer, throwing both hands up in objection, “Can we just back up for a minute? Why does anyone have to get married?”

Dean shot him an incredulous look, “Come on, Sam, we've worked enough of these cases to know this is always the easiest and fastest way.”

Through stiff jaws Sam released a harsh, conceding sigh, “OK... then... why does it have to be you and Y/N?”

“Cause we’re best friends; it'll be more believable,” Dean answered easily with a grin.

A disbelieving stare crossed Sam’s indignant features before he looked down to suppress his emotions with a sardonic nod and pursed lips. It was one thing for Dean to suggest playing your husband but to claim that you're his best friend instead of Sam's... That was too far.

“Plus, you've always been better at playing FBI,” his brother continued with that irritating smile.

Sam gave himself a moment before stating adamantly, “I don't think it should be you.”

“What, why? You don't think we can get the job done?” Dean’s tone was accusing, and you knew he was trying to provoke Sam, but ever since the notion that two out of the three of you needed to play a married couple had been introduced, you found yourself at an inevitable impasse.

“No, I-“ Sam could barely get any words out before Dean circled back to you instead.

“Y/N?” The look Dean sent you forced you to face your inner dilemma head on. On the one hand, you wanted nothing more than an excuse to get close to Sam, to hold his hand and gaze at him adoringly without worrying about anyone seeing, and so much more… but on the other hand, you feared that a glimpse of the ‘real deal’, however contrived, might just push you over the decisive edge. What if you couldn’t go back to your platonic guise after? What if you broke your own heart?

“What? Um, yeah, I think it could work,” you rubbed the back of your neck nervously, keeping your eyes on Dean’s to avoid meeting Sam’s.

Your response elicited a smug expression on the older Winchester’s face however, as he returned to questioning his brother, “So what is it, Sam? You don't think I can pretend to be in love with Y/N? Cause trust me, that'll be easy.” There was that wink again, prompting a roll of your eyes.

“No, I just-“ You were worried Sam’s jaw might fall off if he clenched it any tighter. Why did he seem to care so much anyway? Was he jealous? The thought popped into your head almost as quickly as you dismissed it.

“Then what, Sam?” Dean plucked at that final straw and an explosion of the type that had seemed to become increasingly common from the ordinarily calm and gentle giant followed.

“IT SHOULD BE ME, OK?” Sam roared in frustration, his expansive chest was heaving and his hazel irises had darkened immeasurably. “It should be me,” he repeated more quietly.

Dean smirked; this was exactly what he wanted, exactly what he expected. “Well geez, Sammy. If you wanted to get with Y/N so bad, you could’ve just said so.”

“Wha- that’s not- I don't,” Sam looked extremely distressed and you couldn’t blame him. Whatever Dean was playing at had led him to essentially force Sam to reject you out right, and being the compassionate soul that he was, you knew Sam never wanted to hurt you that way, even if it was indirectly. “I just- I think it would work better this way. You're not exactly the marriage or therapy type and you're just not-“

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You wanna shack up with Y/N and who could blame you? There’s no need to throw a hissy fit, baby brother. She’s all yours.” Dean chuckled at the sight of your averted eyes and Sam’s burning cheeks, thinking his work was just about done, “Alright, I’m gonna go get Baby ready. You kids have fun.”

When the echo of a closing door filled the room, Sam turned back to you, “Y/N, look I-“

“Don’t worry about it, Sam, I know what you meant,” you brushed him off hastily, “And you’re right, Dean would probably have a hard time keeping up the act. He’d end up flirting with the therapist or something.” Laughing always did help you conceal the pain in your chest.

As it turned out, it was a flirtatious therapist you should have been more concerned about. The woman had eyes for Sam only as soon as the two of you walked into her office and sat down on the tiny loveseat before her.

“Welcome, I’m Dr. Ryan, but you can call me Marlena,” she paused to perform a not-so-subtle scan along the length of Sam’s body before smiling at him seductively, “Why don’t we start by introducing yourselves?”

You kept your expression neutral though there was an urge to glare at her. After all, didn’t she think Sam was a married man? Perhaps this was part of the scam that got the couples before you killed, your rational side countered.

“Uh, OK…” Sam appeared rather uncomfortable beside you, pressing his lips into a tight semblance of a smile, “Umm, I'm Sam and this is my wife Y-Y/N.”

The damn Winchester was always so adorably flustered every time someone hit on him, something you never failed to find incredibly endearing, especially considering he was a 6'4” hunk of a man who could surely get inside the pants of any woman he wanted. You assumed, being that good looking, he’d be used to the attention by now, but the fact that he still reacted this way was a true testament to his humility.

“And how did you two meet?”

“Through work,” Sam answered shortly. A resounding pang had shot through his chest when he introduced you as his wife and he was still trying to recoup. If only this wasn't all make-believe, if only he could sit close to you and hold your hand in his whenever he wanted and not just for the sake of a ridiculous pretence. The Mr. and Mrs. titles and matching rings weren't even necessary. He just wanted to make you his as much as he was already yours.

Fuck, Dean was right; Sam was in deep. Just the thought of Dean acting as your husband had his heart racing and every muscle in his body tense with envy. There was no way he could have handled seeing his brother all over you, even if it was pretend. And if the fact that he had to make Dean go get the rings for your current ruse, because he had a strong suspicion the act of buying you a ring yet knowing it wasn’t real might just annihilate the final pieces of his fragile heart, wasn’t telling enough... Sam was finally beginning to realize that he could no longer deny his feelings for you.

“Tell me about that. What is it you two do?”

Although the questions were directed at both of you, Marlena’s gaze remained resolutely transfixed upon Sam, but the man was much too busy thinking about you to notice.

“Uh, well it was about 3 years ago. We’re firefighters and Y/N had been sent from another division to help out with a particularly bad… fire. But she somehow got there before we did, and when I arrived on the scene, I saw her walk out of the burning building in a blaze of smoke and dust. She was carrying a little boy, who she had just saved, covered in ash and soot, a-and there was scrape above her left brow that had left a trail of darkened blood down the side of her face,” Sam smiled to himself at the memory, “But I couldn’t move. It was just all so surreal because it was the last thing I expected to find, and I thought she was the most beautiful soul I had ever set my eyes on. I knew right then that I would gladly devote the rest of my life to getting to know her better, to becoming worthy of her, but when she came up to us, I could barely speak in full sentences and I made a fool of myself by stumbling over my own feet. My brother, who’s uh- also a firefighter, later told me he thought I was having a stroke.” Sam chuckled softly. His eyes were downcast, and he seemed to be a little lost in his own world.

By contrast, you were staring at him in shock. You remembered the day quite clearly, although in reality it was a wendigo that you were forced to kill by starting a fire since your flare gun wouldn’t work, but Sam got the rest of the details spot on. The lilt of his voice as he spoke had made it all sound so real, for a moment, you nearly tricked yourself. Who knew he had such incredible acting chops on top of all those other skills?

“Well, that sounds like a beautiful start. I’m assuming you work together now?” Taking note of the new edge in her voice, you gave her a nod and Dr. Ryan continued, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with a pen, “It must be terribly hard to maintain a work-life balance and keep the romance alive. I’m sure there are issues from work that you’ll often bring home, conflicts that can never be resolved considering the lack of alone time? Maybe something you found annoying about the other that seemed bearable in the beginning but has now festered to become an unmendable chasm between the two of you?”

Your eyes narrowed of their own accord. Between the obvious flirting to the now obvious attempt to instigate discord between you and Sam, you were starting to think Marlena was undoubtedly the monster (that or she was an awful couples therapist). Her motive remained unclear though, so you played along.

“Uh, well Sam can be a bit… overprotective, at times, when we’re working, and sometimes it can get in the way of the job.”

“Ok but that’s only because Y/N can be ludicrously stubborn, at times, and she has a habit of running headfirst into danger." Sam was surprisingly quick to retort.

"It's literally our job to run into danger, Sam.” Your body was now twisted to face his, “And if I recall correctly, my ‘ludicrous stubbornness’ has led to the saving of multiple lives, yours included."

Sam lowered his head and scoffed lightly before he too turned to face you completely, golden eyes boring into yours with an intensity you were not prepared for, "I know it has but sometimes you act like other people's lives are worth more than yours and that's not true. Besides, it's my job to care about you, to protect you… I-I mean as your husband."

For a second, things got a little too real there, but you took a deep breath to remind yourself this was all just an act, "And I appreciate that Sam, but sometimes it can be a bit overbearing-"

"Well if I'm overbearing it's only because I'm terrified every time we go out there,” Sam began to enunciate every word stiffly, speaking almost entirely through gritted teeth, “Because I can't bear the thought of losing you, because I can't fathom living a life without you!"

And once again, you were left staring at him with your mouth agape. He sure was laying it on thick, or perhaps he just wanted to win the fight, because you had no idea how to argue against that.

“Alright, I think that’s enough on that topic. Maybe we should try something else,” Dr. Ryan interjected, “Oh look at that, time’s almost up! I always end my sessions with a fun little exercise. I want you to look each other in the eyes and take turns coming up with one positive word to describe the other, something you love about your partner, but it must be genuine.”

Quirking your brow, you struggled to restrain the smile on your face as you turned back to Sam. Well this’ll be easy.

“Intelligent,” you stated matter-of-factly, figuring you’d start with something relatively un-incriminating.

“Strong,” Sam came back at you immediately. There was a fierceness in his eyes, almost as if he was daring you to bring it on.

“Kind,” came your simple response.

“Discerning.” His voice seemed lower for some reason.

“Capable,” you kept your eyes locked on Sam’s as you lifted your chin.

“Tough.” There was an undeniable fondness that accompanied the word when it left his lips.

“Sassy,” you replied, unable to stop the smirk that tugged at the corner of your mouth.

“Tenacious,” Sam narrowed his eyes at you.

“Selfless.” Why did you sound so out of breath?

“Complex.” He was smiling at you now.  

“Protective,” you finally admitted despite your earlier complaints.

“Beguiling,” Why were you both whispering?

“Tall.” Was that lust you could hear in your own voice?

“Badass,” Was that lust you could hear in his voice?

“Gorgeous… or handsome if you prefer.” When did your faces get so close?

“So fucking beautif-”

“Woah! OK, I think we’re done here.” Shit, you had almost forgotten about the therapist. “That was… excessive. I don’t think I’ll be needing to see you again,” she declared as she stood up rather suddenly, prompting you and Sam to do the same though you were both still a little caught up in your game.

“Wow, you really are tall,” Marlena breathed out as she smoothed a hand down her pencil skirt. The provocative tone of her voice had you back down to earth in no time. "And those years of firefighting have definitely paid off, what with all those big muscles.”

Sam gave an awkward half laugh as he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you tight against his side. You weren’t sure what compelled you to but as if on instinct, you raised your outer hand and placed it lightly on Sam’s stomach, feeling his abs contracting even through the soft flannel beneath your fingers as you replied, “Yeah, that’s just another one of the many things I love about Sam.”

The laugh that escaped Sam this time was much more sincere, “Thank you for your time, Dr. Ryan.” He kept his hand on your waist as he led the two of you out the door, trying his damnedest to ignore the enticing sensation your touch had evoked throughout his body, as well as the subsequent questions of what your little hand might feel like on other parts of him if a simple graze of his abdomen could produce such a dramatic effect.

“Did it seem like she was rushing us to you?” you questioned Sam pensively when you were back at the motel half an hour later.

“Yeah, like the more we spoke, the more she lost interest in us,” he agreed.

Your next words tumbled out without permission and you could only cringe at the bitter inflection of your voice, “Well, she didn’t seem to lose any interest in you.”

Sam felt himself smile at your adorableness; he couldn’t help it when your bottom lip jutted out like that. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought you were jealous.

“Are you two outta your damn minds?” Dean looked from his brother’s face to yours. “Did you even check the time? She only gave you about half of what we paid for!”

“What, really?” you and Sam responded in chorus.

“Yeah, but luckily I’m a genius and I got everything we needed within the first few minutes.” Grinning in that cocky way of his, Dean explained, “Your EMF sensors were off the charts as soon as you walked into her office, and I found ectoplasm in the bathroom.”

“She’s a ghost?” Sam did that adorable scrunchy thing with his face and you had to physically stop yourself from staring.

“Possessed by one, yeah. And I checked the records. She spent at least an hour overtime with both of the dead couples.”

“So, what, are we not good enough to be her next victims?” you wondered.

“Maybe she saw through the act?” Sam suggested.

Dean was fumbling through a stack of papers until he found something, “Yeah, I don’t think that’s it. Here, check this out.”

Sam started to read out loud, “’Grave of local girl found desecrated by joggers passing through the cemetery early Sunday morning…’”

“Turns out the kid got pushed out a window accidentally when her parents were fighting... Splat.” Dean elaborated, ever so tactfully.

You were starting to piece it together though, “So now she’s seeking out dysfunctional couples to kill them the way she died… for what, revenge? Or to stop them from accidentally murdering their own kids?”

“That’s my best guess,” Dean confirmed.

“Huh… nice work on research, buddy. I’m impressed,” the playful grin you sent Dean’s way was not lost on Sam.

“Yeah, well your husband’s not the only one who can look stuff up around here. Besides, someone had to do the work while you two were off playing Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

“Sam and I have never tried to kill each other,” you argued.

Dean snorted while grabbing his jacket, “And that’s about the only way your relationship differs.”

When he saw your brows pull together in confusion, Sam quickly cut in to change the subject, “So uh- what’s the plan?”

His brother was nearly out the door when he responded, “Nice and easy. I’ll go burn the bones while you guys go back and distract her with your little love fest, capiche?”

The ghost was surprisingly open this time around, admitting freely to her past crimes and even explaining her methods. Apparently, flirting with the husbands was a routine and easy test to spot any cracks in the relationships, one that she claimed Sam had passed with flying colors. But you knew better than to assume his achievement had anything to do with you. After all, you’d seen the man hold fast against the fervent advances of a high-end stripper before, while he was drunk. This was nothing.

“But why kill them?” Sam questioned, with the kind of genuine curiosity that only he could exhibit towards a murderous monster.

“Because it’s better to die than stay in a loveless marriage… But of course you two wouldn’t underst-“ Dean must have completed his task because the therapist was interrupted by a shapeless black plume bursting through her mouth.

‘Oh Shit,’ you thought relentingly as you watched the spirit eject itself and disappear into a fiery cloud of dark fumes, a forlorn expression upon your face, ‘I’m in love with Sam Winchester.’

→ CARRY ON

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