that's who i'm racing for
Charles Leclerc x Fiance!Reader
count: 1k words
summary: Charles and you talk before a big race, sad because you're having to call instead of sleeping in the same bed.
a/n: it sounds like angst but it's mostly fluff. i promise!
If you’re not in bed, by his side, he will call you before every race. He likes to say that not hearing your voice lull him to sleep brings bad luck, and that’s the one thing he won’t risk. You’re convinced it’s just a nice little gesture, but you cherish it nonetheless.
“Baby,” Charles mumbles into the phone, looking at the camera with weary eyes. “Turn your light on. I want to see you.”
“It’s late. I’m heading to bed, too.”
“I know, but I miss your face.”
You know he can see you as well as you can see him—the light from your phones is bright enough—but you turn on your bedside lap, anyway. “Happy?”
“Much happier.” Charles shifts around until his hands are wedged under his pillow and he’s staring at the phone with a lovey-dovey smile. “I can’t believe you had to stay at home.”
“Duty calls,” you say.
“I should be your duty.”
“You will be. Soon enough.”
“Show me.”
Dutifully, you bring up your hand, moving it so that the diamond ring is visible over the camera, as butterflies fill your stomach. It’s been months, yet you’re still not used to it – you don’t think you’ll ever get used to it, it’ll just have one more ring added to it.
“Ah, I can’t wait for you to be mine,” he says.
“I’m already yours.”
“Not officially. And you’re not here.”
You turn the light off, knowing he’s seen what he wanted to see, but your smile still shows on the screen. “I know. I’ll be there for the next race, I promise.”
“The bed feels empty without you, you know,” he murmurs. “Without my fiance.”
“I’ll warm it up soon enough.”
“You better.”
You hear him playing music in the background – sometimes he does that when he can’t fall asleep, when you’re not there. Your heart tugs at its strings but there’s nothing you can do. His eyes are getting heavier, even though he’s trying to keep them open to look at you, and you can tell that he’s not far out from completely falling asleep.
You decide to take the initiative. “I’ll head to bed, I think.”
“You’re only saying that because I’m tired.”
“Maybe,” you say. “Does it make a difference?”
Charles thinks about it. “No. But I wish we didn’t have to sleep apart.”
“I know. Me too. But you need your sleep, my love.”
“I know, I know… I’d just rather be with you.”
“Me, too.”
He looks at you and you see his face soften, even with all the tiredness. His hair is messy and falling over his eyes, a far cry from how he likes to present himself, but this is how you like him best – at his most genuine, most vulnerable. Where he’s not the driver, the Monegasque, but just Charles.
Just yours.
He sighs. “Oh, what would I do to sleep in your arms tonight…”
You feel the pain in his voice as if it were your own. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“Don’t apologise. Don’t even think it’s your fault.”
The thing he won’t admit, not to himself and let alone to you—but you can see it—is the reason why he’s still up, way past his bedtime on race day. It’s almost halfway through the season and he’s doing good in the standings, and maybe Ferrari’s luck will turn for the better this year, but Lando’s right behind him and the race tomorrow has to be good if he wants things to stay this way.
The pressure is intense. You can see it in the weariness under his eyes, in the way he’s felt just a little bit aloof in the past week, especially since he landed in Spain. It breaks your heart to watch him like this and not be able to hug him, to hold him, to kiss the fear away.
So you fluff up your pillow and lie down, propping the phone up against what is usually Charles’s pillow. “We can pretend I’m there.”
“How?”
“Stay on call. Fall asleep together. I’ll hear you snoring and it’ll be like I’m there.”
“I don’t snore,” he says, but you can tell that his voice has picked up a little. “Okay. Just falling asleep?”
“Yeah. It’s late.”
You wait as he props the phone up, too, and the camera is half-covered by the pillow, but you don’t say anything. You can just about make out his hair and his eyes, even with his mouth out of sight.
He’s beautiful, no matter what, and you can’t wait to be finally his in every way that matters.
“You’re going to have an amazing race tomorrow, mon cheri.”
Charles kisses his finger then presses it to the camera, whispering sweet nothings to you in French. You feel yourself drifting off, but stay up—just in case—until you hear the familiar snoring, and you were right – it’s almost like you’re right there, right next to him.
When you close your eyes, you can still hear him snoring, and you find that you can easily pretend that you’ll touch him if you just reach over. Sleep takes you with your hand stretched out, lulled into dreams by your fiance’s snoring, and maybe the world won’t fall apart just because you’re not together.
You wake up and he’s gone, the call has ended, but there’s a text message thanking you for last night and telling you how much it helped give him a good night’s sleep, and how much he can’t wait to get back to you on Monday.
Later, some half an hour before the race, you get another text from him: 72 days until you’re mine. That’s who I’m racing for.
You clutch your phone to your chest, praying to all the gods you do and don’t believe it to keep him safe. To let him win without having to sacrifice anything. To bring him home safe, to you in one piece.
Soon enough, you’ll be lying in bed together, falling asleep with your arms wrapped around each other until it gets too hot, and just a little after that, you’ll be doing so while sharing the Leclerc name.
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Podcast of our life - Esteban Ocon x ChineseOlympicFootballer! Reader
Plot: You have won Olympic Medals, play Football in the Chinese Women’s Team but also are in the Premier League playing for Chelsea Football Club… you are a worldwide legend. So what’s the story of how you met your French F1 driving boyfriend!
Credit to the-offside-rule for the GIF
“Tonight we have a very special guest, one of the most iconic athletes of her time and known world wide it’s Y/N Y/L/N” the interviewer says as you come into the platform in a gorgeous blue dress, you look out into the crowd spying Esteban your boyfriend.
“Hello hello! 你好” you say politely bowing to the crowd with your hands together and then shaking hands with the interviewer.
“Woah you just look incredible tonight Y/N don’t you think so ladies and gentlemen?” She asks smiling into the crowd cheers and wolf whistles heard throughout the crowd making you smile and laugh happy to have fans in the building with you.
“So Y/N let’s first talk about just how incredible your achievements have been. You stared out as playing for a local team in China before ending up on their national team playing in the FIFA Women’s World Cup as one of their youngest players, coming third in your first year and winning the championship with your team in your second, before competing in the Olympics on that football team only 2 years later, and bringing home gold for you team. And now your in your second year of playing for Chelsea FC! How do you feel after all this?” She asks and you smile a little.
“Tired” you announce and a chorus of laughs are heard through the studio.
“Ah yes, i can imagine with all the travelling” she grins and you nod.
“No honestly I’m so thankful and grateful for everything that all of my friends family and fans have all helped me along in my career and how much I’ve achieved in such a short period of time. I want to continue improving and making everyone proud so it doesn’t just end here!” You grin, you were always so thankful for everyone around you that made your career what it was.
“Yeah I think most athletes we interview always talk about the incredible support system they have around them that gives them that mental drive and motivation to do better! What in your opinion gives you your biggest motivation before games and when things get that little bit more tough?” She asks and once again you smile.
“Yeah it’s a mix honestly as much as I love my family and friends they have their own lives and can’t always be there, some of my darkest caverns were ones that I pulled myself out of but mostly the fans and my family that help me when it comes to wanting to do my very best” you admit and the crowd awes at your reasoning.
“Ah yes, your very close with your dad specifically aren’t you. He’s the reason you got into football in the first place” she smiles.
“Yeah I mean he is my inspiration when it comes to football and how I do! He took me to my first game and taught me how to kick a ball! I just can’t imagine I’d be where I am without him helping me! But yeah, when he’s not around motivation is hard” you tell her.
“So other than motivation I can imagine it being a huge struggle like you said with handle closest to you not being there all the time. Especially your athlete boyfriend Esteban Ocon who folks is in the room with us today” she says and the camera breaks to pan over to him in the crowd. “Who travels around the world to 24 different global locations how - how does that even work with you both so busy?” She pries but you don’t mind as you and Esteban were genuinely quite open with your relationship.
“We make it work, any chance I can go to a race i go no matter how tired or jet lagged I am I still go and he will do as much as he can to come to my matches … you know that’s actually how we met at a football match” you grin reminiscing about the time you met him.
“Dad come on, we should get to the stadium!” You exclaimed exited to finally go to a PSG game while you guys were in Paris.
“Come on we’ve got loads of time, the game doesn’t start for an hour” he chuckles as you try pull on his hand, looking more like a toddler than a 21 year old.
“But the tour, I don’t want to miss it! Please can we get there now?” You ask with a face that you knew your father couldn’t say no too.
“Fine let’s go!” He sighs with a teasing smile, you guys walk towards the stadium, once you get there a few people who were football fans notice you and politely ask for signatures and pictures.
More and more people come over, questioning whether you’ll be going to the game. You are answering most questions until a new gaggle of people were ahead, and it looked like a similar situation people thrusting paper into a man’s hands who was wearing sunglasses despite the cloudy Parisian afternoon.
People who were talking to you took quick notice of the man ahead, and people with him started to take notice of you until the two groups sort of merged into one until you were back to back signing stuff with the random man.
Eventually security came and managed to get the two of you away from the crowds to keep everything moving on quickly.
“Hello!” You’d smiled at the man and he nodded and smiled back.
“You er ever had that before?” You ask and he pushed his sunglasses up finally to get a good look at you.
“Yeah, pretty often actually” he laughs.
“What, er what do you do?” You’d asked shyly not knowing who he was.
“I’m a formula one driver? And your that new hot shot footballer right?” He asked narrowing his eyes.
“And yeah, we watched the game together and the rest is history. He is without a doubt the love of my life!” You grinned looking out to him and his radiant smile.
y/user
Liked by lj10, estebanocon, chelseafcw and others
y/user: Everything in life is blue 💙🦋🈳 Another season with my amazing girls in Chelsea and another year in Alpine for Este 👌🏼🫶🏼
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fan1: best footballer period 🥰
estebanocon: so proud of you! Amazing season! You are my star ⭐️
-> y/user: I’m proud of everything you’ve done too despite the tough year! I love you 💙
lj10: Cant wait for this season! Gonna smash it again 🤞🏻but why would you use that picture of me 🥲
-> y/user: HELL YEAH! Come on you blues 🦋💙
fan2: COME ON YOU BLUES 🫶🏼
chelseafcw: so excited to have you on the team for another year 💙
Instagram Story Caption:
Celebrating our two year date at the place we first met @ psg :) Paris really is the city of love ❤️
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Could we have some radioapple tickle hcs pls? <3
(Can be platonic or romantic!)
🍎Alastor & Lucifer Tkl Headcanons📻
~Of course! I’ve been looking for an excuse to write some Hazbin stuff, so I’m more than happy to get these disaster-dads in. I’m gonna do their individual hcs first, then the pairing ones at the bottom. Hopefully these aren’t too OOC. Thank you for requesting!~
🦌Alastor📻
General:
I think we can all agree this asshole loves a good tickling, though the direction depends on who’s around him.
Only certain people are allowed to touch him normally, much less tickle him.
Still, I’d say he’s a lee-leaning switch. He just masks his moods when they’re “inconvenient.”
Lee:
He gets into lee moods more often than he’ll ever willingly admit.
Actually acknowledging and dealing with them, however, is a whole different story.
Whenever he’s stuck somewhere with his regular acquaintances, he’ll just suck it up and try to stifle any reactions. If he’s lucky, he’ll be able to slip away and hide somewhere to wait it out.
When he does actually deal with them, however, he practically gives himself up to the ler.
Only Rosie, Mimzy on a good day, and occasionally Lucifer are allowed to tickle him without much asking. Everyone else has to have explicit permission, and are severely limited in what they can do.
When it’s one of those three, Al becomes a wriggly, kicking, squirmy mess of a demon. He definitely cannot hold still while being tickled.
For anyone he’s not really that close to, they can only really go for his sides or palms without being murdered afterwards.
If you get him good enough, some high-pitched bugles and bleats could slip into his laughter.
His worst spots are his hips and ribs. He loses it when you go for either; you’ll get a lot of adorable deer noises.
His melt spots are his ears for sure. His smile gets all dreamy and relaxed; if you’re lucky, you may even get a few little bleats or some purring here and there.
Ler:
Run for the fucking hills, my friend.
He’s an evil bastard of a ler for sure. If you’ve pissed him off a certain way (or just seem like you need a good tickling), he’ll make you scream.
Now, while cruel, the deer man is no hypocrite; if you seriously don’t like or want to be tickled, he’ll stop. Maybe not apologize, but he certainly won’t try it again unless you specifically ask.
If you do ask, expect no mercy.
He’ll use his shadow tentacles to tickle the living (or dead) shit out of you.
Though he may not always listen right away, I’d recommend setting up a safeword with him. That way, he’ll know when you’re seriously done.
Teases very sarcastically, but he’s always serious when he compliments your smile.
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you over all that laughter, my dear.”
“Oh my, that is quite the bad spot, isn’t it? How about I send a little friend or two to give it some love?”
“You have a lovely smile, dear! So wide and cheerful; you’ve just got to show it off more!”
“You’re always so sour-faced. Maybe we should make these little attacks more frequent, hmm?”
Despite all this, he can be decent with aftercare. If he’s really comfy with you, you’ll get head pats and maybe some cuddles.
If not, he’ll send his shadow over to snuggle with you. It’s not really the same, but you can feel the hugs it gives. Maybe, if you’re lucky, he’ll let you have some of his mother’s famous jambalaya.
🍎Lucifer🎪
General:
You can’t tell me this man doesn’t love being tickled.
Like, there’s a way to laugh his heart out and drown out all his negative thoughts? Man is more than down.
On the flip side, he can’t help but enjoy the giddy panic on someone’s face when his fingers wiggle into their sides. It’s a great way to take them down a peg without doing any harm (Charlie approves).
For that, I’d say he’s a 50-50 switch.
Lee:
He’s got different reactions around different people, depending on how well he knows them.
If he doesn’t know you all that well, he’s gonna try to hide his reactions: pushing you away, biting back giggles, acting like he hates it.
If you’re close? Completely different story.
He’ll crumble at the first sign of wiggling fingers, a big ol’ smile dominating his features. He can’t help it; the thought of getting tickled by someone who cares makes him so giddy.
If he’s really lost in laughter, his wings might pop out. It’s adorable, and it gives you a lovely new spot to attack~
His lee moods are about as rare as drug dealers in hell.
Pretty obvious, too; random giggle fits, staring at others’ hands, and giddy blushes are plentiful.
When he gets into them, Luci can actually ask for help sometimes. Sure, it’s flustered and stuttery, but it gets the message across.
His worst spots are his wingpits - all six of them. Even light scribbling there will send him into near hysterics.
His melt spot - and favorite spot - is his belly. The widest, giddiest smile forms if you gently tickle him there. Go for long enough, and he might even doze off.
Ler:
He’s such a loving menace of a ler, no argument.
He’ll take things slow, but you’re gonna get the hell teased out of you, no question.
“Aww, what’s the matter? Does it tickle? I’m barely getting started!”
“Snorts already? Man, this really tickles, doesn’t it?”
“You’ve gotta be the cutest thing in all of hell! I mean, listen to those giggles!”
“I’ve gotta refer you to Charlie. This level of adorableness could warm the coldest of hearts~”
“Not there, huh? Then how about here? Or here? You’ve really gotta be more specific.”
You KNOW this man would use his wings against you. Sneaky hugs, followed by some feathery fun~
His ler moods are frequent and fierce. If nobody asks him within a few hours, he’ll just attack the first lee who gives him semi-probable cause.
Even though he’s a bit of a meanie, he’s a saint with aftercare.
This man loves post-tickle cuddles; what’s better than curling up with a snuggly, giggly lee? He gives great back-rubs, and I think he could make a mean grilled cheese.
❤️Paired💛
We can all agree that Lucifer is the main ler, right?
Now, Al doesn’t just let the man tickle him; that’d be too easy.
Deer man loves to tease: raising his arms to “reach for things” with others around, chuckling right in Luci’s ear, just being an all-around asshole.
It takes the blonde everything he has not to pounce in public.
By the end of the day, it’s safe to say that Lucifer gets the last laugh~
When Luci is in a lee mood, he'll just straight-up ask for tickles from Al.
Just to annoy him, he'll plop in the deer man's lap, raise his arms, and demand attention. Alastor is more than happy to oblige~
NOW, when Al’s in a ler mood, the tables pretty much turn inside-out.
He’ll go up to Lucifer, teleport him to his room, pin him with tentacles to the wall or bed, and make him squeal. He’ll usually push the fallen angel until he safewords.
While Lucifer could just escape, he “secretly” enjoys being taken down a few notches. Besides, he gets free cuddles afterwards.
Speaking of which, they always cuddle afterwards, no matter who the lee is. It’s an unspoken rule neither of them are keen on breaking.
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Ok so. The Bikeriders.
First of all, it’s very different than we thought, in a good way. It’s not an action or drama or crime film. It feels almost like a documentary because it’s shot in a journalist’s style with simple camera work and interviews and the story is told through the narration of Kathy and the journalist. It revolves around the snapshots of these people’s lives, who they are, why they’re here and do what they do, and it’s so beautiful and intimate and makes you fall in love with humanity like you’re in a anthropology class. You see how they see and love what they love. It’s so fucking powerful.
Ok side track to what we’re all really here for. FUKN BENNY.
Your life will be ruined by Austin within the first 10 seconds and you NEVER catch your breath afterwards. He doesn’t say too much and isn’t even on screen quite as much as I expected but he’s the heart of the whole film and oh boy what a beautiful heart. A TALL DAMN DRINK OF WATER THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO PUT IT. I got lightheaded whenever he appeared. Plus we get him in a totally new look which I loved and am sure will be seeing in fandom. I literally have no words for his looks and voice and absolute badass behavior while also looking like a little kitten the entire time boy you out here ruining lives. One scene absolutely BROKE my heart I wanted to hug him so bad and it was a powerful moment in the narrative. But it was really hard to watch him get so beat up consistently over the movie.
The last SMILE we get from him??? Will kill all of us it will be the apocalypse I’m typing from the GRAVE you hear??? I’d vote the best smile we’ve ever gotten from Austin and THAT’s really saying something. I can’t say enough good things about the ending in general.
Tom Hardy is the ABSOLUTE mvp of this film, he knocked it out of the park.
(Mild spoilers under the cut)
I was so terrified Benny was going to die the entire time and the way the movie goes it really makes you think he will but he DOESNT DIE and I was SO GODDAMN relieved. That ending was so perfect and sad and poignant.
It REALLY IS a love triangle??? Like I was also shocked that there is zero sex scene or even a single kiss at all in a film like this, but the dialogue and chemistry whew boy….was very intrigued and happy to have things thus way even though it turned out sad.
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the only thing worse than having no irl friends is the knowledge that it’s almost entirely your fault. sure my only friend being far away and going to a diff school isn’t because of me, but it’s my own social ineptitude which ruins any relationships i could make at college. it’s my knee jerk reactions and inability to connect and distrust which have left me isolated and there’s nothing i can do to fix it because the chance to befriend any of them has passed.
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OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too
This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…
Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)
If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man
I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.
Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.
The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale
If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.
If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.
Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol
OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff
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just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—
if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.
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No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and I’ll give tim Stans one thing: now he’s so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like it’s in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when it’s him surface level challenging Bruce it’s when everyone else is doing it too; but he’s still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and it’s so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesn’t fw is so fun to watch and that’s why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldn’t do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that it’s such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Tim’s it doesn’t matter if they grow it’s not my decision to make like it’s the same but it’s not AND WITH CASS’ IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to “Janet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they are” like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy who’d blame a dead kid for dying. That’s ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them that’s not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.
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mmmm not to be a blubbery little bitch or anything but “my life started that day i found you in the woods” being the thing mike jumps to to try and convince el that he genuinely loves her is because that’s what he did with will in s2 and it worked even though mike was holding back his deepest feelings. he’s lying in both scenes by pretending he loves will and el in different ways than he actually does
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hi, I don't use tumblr often, but i when i do, i always check your account to check if you posted something. LIAB is amazing. i truly have no words. i have read a LOT of fanfics from very different fandoms and i can confidently say that Leaving It All Behind is the best one i have ever read. the world you've built around the main characters is so deep, and realistic. even though benders are not real, it feels like i'm reading about true events. you describe the horrors of war and trauma so well. i'm actually very, very impressed. i happen to be a person that suffers from ptsd and other mental illnesses and and the way you portray traumatized characters is very realistic. i know you always say that the main characters' recovery is unrealistically fast, but don't worry about that. the way you describe zuko and sokka's feelings is perfect. their recovery doesn't seem rushed. it just looks like they're adapting and learning how to deal with it fast (we have to remember that the war is still very much happening and sadly they don't have a lot of time to deal with everything that happened to them). i'm so grateful i found your work. it's truly amazing, i hope you won't give up on writing when you finish the LIAB trilogy. have a good day/night
AWWWW OMG THANK YOU <3
seriously this was so kind I’m still in shock. I’m so happy you think the healing arc is realistic because I try to balance the stories pace with the characters struggles and emotions (some of them make it DIFFICULT haha) but I’m always worried it doesn’t translate well.
I have a lot of fun writing LIAB & I’m really glad you like it so much. I hope I continue to make you proud & thank you so much for this amazing ask you made my day <3
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nothing makes me feel more pathetic than when I’m trying to do a basic as fuck sum in my head and my brain is giving me absolutely nothing
not a single gear moving up there. Brain just clocks out when numbers are involved and trying to force it to figure out even the simplest calculations physically feels excruciating and exhausting
meanwhile my dad and my brother will be looking at me like I’m some alien experiment bc how can I be so stupid that I can’t do this shit in my head?
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So you choose not to step through the door, after all why mess with nonsense when you're already in nonsense? You check the items in your pockets, your phone you shut off to conserve power, the dog tag, key and top clink together but offer no help, and when you fiddle with the walkie-talkie you manage to get it to turn on, excitedly you call out to the void but only static responds, which is disappointing but predictable, so you put the items away and hunker down for the night, looking at the sky you can see that the stars seem strange, though you're no expert, and the moon seems to have a second smaller moon near it which looks pretty cool but is a stark reminder of how not on your own world your predicament has landed you.
In the morning you begin looking through the nearby bushes and plant life taking note of anything strange, you notice the berries you had been picking before you stepped through the door are also growing around here, they look and taste the same, and some other plants seem pretty similar to the forest from before as well, although the further away from the door you go the more unfamiliar plants you come across (of course that may just be your lack of familiarity with plants) and the few animals you have noticed are bizarre in a way that you can't explain, like the people from town, they seem almost perfectly familiar, just a little off and the noises they make have you thinking they wouldn't be able to communicate with their counterparts either, brushing aside another branch you come across a strange funnel made of metal which you pocket and what looks to be a regular whistle, you wipe it down and blow but hear nothing aside from the air going through, you consider it is either broken or maybe a dog whistle, as you go to put it away you hear something big running in your direction, before you can decide how to react a large creature storms out of the bushes and stops in the clearing before you, it's huge as a horse with paws and sharp teeth it licks as it looks around and spots you, it shakes its head again reminding you of a horse, then steps closer before turning and staring expectantly, you get the feeling it's waiting on you, impatiently, and you realize it seems to expect you to get on its back. Do you get on?
Yes.
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idk how to start this so this post is ab individual action, trying to motivate positive change in the world, etc etc
a lot of growing up in the US for me makes things feel more scary than they are. like it’s actually not that difficult to go out of your way to get a bottle of water or iced cup of water from some random drive through if you think you should do it. either fast food conglomerate or local actually, it’ll usually be cheaper than 5 dollars to get drinkable water. i try to have 5-10 dollars i can justify spending on water, and asking for change, because sometimes when i’m out driving i need to go grab water.
i do not do this for me as much as i try to do it specifically when i see someone who’s most likely homeless on a street corner. i’m sure one day i might do this and they might not be there when i come back, but what have i lost really? a bit of time and a bit of money that would’ve meant more to them, that i can hold onto until i see them next.
the pressure that a lot of people feel when they think “what can i do” comes from this grand narrative that the average citizen can singlehandedly fix the housing crisis. rich people? maybe. nonprofits? not in a day, not all one person still. what can i do is a question i ask a lot. what can i do, not just because it feels bad to move along like nothings wrong with the world, but what can i do that will do anything. what can i do that makes even the smallest change.
i feel like it took me too long to figure out a personal method to what i consider individual action. it’s taking time to get to my own financial stability to be able to do more. but for now it’s as simple as water and cash. not water and food, but water and cash.
individual action means a lot in small steps, go get a bottle of water bare minimum and the price of a meal if you can and then just give it to them. if it wasn’t such a miserably hot place where i live i would keep a pack of water in my car, which i still want to do for the sake of having immediate access to water to give someone who might need it- hot or cold sometimes won’t matter. but when it’s hot out, get cold water, if it’s cold out, a warm tea will hydrate more than coffee will as long as it’s not super caffeinated.
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one of my favorite pastimes is watching these like ancient cosplay music videos from shows/fandoms at their “peak”. Good times.
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grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA
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Heading to school now to finalize my decision to retake the year. Set your bets NOW on whether I’ll start crying again, completely shut down and will be unable to speak, or the third, secret option! (Not even I know what the third secret option is yet, but we’ll see!)
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