#and i dont even know what to do w myself the next few days. like ive been preparing stuff but im also like

[cirillafionaelenriannon]

not much longer until my bf and i meet irl for the first time and this experience alone has taught me that i should not ever plan something like this 3 months in advance to when it happens because ive spent the past 3 months writhing around insanely. 

[tsukasalvr]

Idk if your requests are open or not AAHH! But if they are:

(Possible TW in my request for mentions of depression, anxiety, commiting di3 joke)

Could you do a reader with bad depression and anixety. And maybe one day reader makes a joke about 0ffing themself and then they dont show up to school for a few days

Characters I would prefer(from TBHK): Kou, Teru, Hanako, Akane(boy)

You can add more if you like! :)

Im sorry its not very specific, this is my first time requesting something

Also sorry i know topics like these are difficult for some people <3

depressed!reader who makes su*cidal jokes

Anime/fandom: Tbhk

Characters: Kou Minamoto, Teru Minamoto, Hanako, Akane Aoi

Warnings: I don’t proofread, depressed reader, mention of suicide

A/n: just got broken up w by my pookie wookie☹️💔

Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist

Kou Minamoto

Is immediately put off by what you’re saying and is immediately concerned, and gets even more concerned once you get together and just stares nervously at you while stuttering, not knowing what to say

“That’s so embarrassing, if that were me I would kill myself no doubt! Being so stupid like that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” You casually said while looking at a post on your phone.

“O-oh… umm…” Kou is at a loss for words sometimes and tries to brush it off by moving onto something happier to distract you from thoughts like those

When you make a joke that’s one day too far he genuinely seems so much more concerned and ask if you’re okay. He gets so worried about you that it’s best not to make jokes like that near him.

If you don’t show up the next day, he gets worried and is immediately trying to leave school early even though he knows Teru will berate him later for it, he needs to see you’re okay and when he arrives to your house and sees you are, he’s very serious about not making jokes like those again and is invites you to his house more often to distract yourself and is willing to help you get help

Teru Minamoto

Gives you a nervous smile when you joke about suicide and even when you you’re dating he still gives you an obvious fake smile to not hurt your feelings. He knows that outright saying that if you need someone talk to talk to can be annoying sometimes so he’ll try to subtly let you know he’s there

Whether it’s from talking about a topic of a documentary of a tragic life of some celebrity and all they needed help to having Kou telk you that you’re part of the family and that you can tell them anything when you’re over at their house

“I can’t stop messing this up! God I really should’ve taken those pills when I had the chance, what the hell!” You said angrily at the fact you couldn’t get the string through the small hole in the needle.

Teru could only smile at you, he never says anything to your ‘jokes’, but then he stops and just goes to frowning hoping that you’re not being serious

When you don’t show up the next day, he’s not super worried and just assumes you’re late but sends you messages. But after a few hours the messages become more frequent and by the end of the school day he’s running to your house scared. When he sees you’re alright, he’s pissed and says enough is enough and he’s not taking anymore jokes and is instead going to help you

Hanako

He might laugh at your jokes, but it’s only so he doesn’t worry you. He’s not an unfamiliar when it comes to stuff like this and he knows you might now want to talk about it right away so he’s fine with trying to take it slow

On the inside though, his ghostly heart is scared that you’re it joking and you’re actually being serious. He can’t bear the thought of you dying—and especially dying this way so he keeps a close eye on you and has Kou and Yashiro even make sure that you’re doing okay

“God, I’m so stupid and useless” you say with a laugh as you look at your test result and shove the paper back in your bag

Hanako stares at you, and lets out a laugh that’s believe enough. He’s conflicted on what he should do, should he ask how you’re doing? What if you lie to him? Would you even want to talk to him?

It seems as if his worries have come true when you didn’t show up to school the next day and asks if Yashiro or Kou have seen you at all and to message you on those weird electronic things. Yashiro only agrees to go to your house when Hanako asked because she too was worried about you. Hanako waits impatiently the next day and sees you and you tell him you were just feeling sick. If he could, then Hanako would definitely cry and basically forces you to promise to tell him if anything is wrong with a scared and worried expression on his face

Akane Aoi

You’re the most precious person in his life so he takes everything very serious when it comes to you. A paper cut? He’s getting ready to call an ambulance for you and is frantically asking you if you’re okay.

So joking about such topics near him immediately alarms him and hea on full protective mode with asking if you’re joking or not. He takes everything you say seriously, he cares about you a lot so to see you laugh about it, hurts him a little

“What if I jump out this window right now? I really do want to do this test!” You whined and looked over at the window that was right next to where you were sitting.

Akane had a prominent frown on his face, he knew you weren’t exactly mentally okay and you’re jokes were becoming more and more frequent

He’s on full panic mode when you don’t show up to school the next day and the worst possible outcomes are immediately coming to mind. He hopes he’s wrong and is blowing up your phone and is willing to mess up his perfect attendance streak for you, he’ll fix it later. But when he sees you overslept and your phone died because wig wasn’t charged, he’s disappointed. He knew it was getting worse if you dying was what came to mind when you didn’t show up so he pledges to help you

[moongoopy]

The Fingernail Issue

c: gojo wasn't told of toji having a sibling leading him to wonder what kind of brother toji fushiguro was

c/w: Reader is adopted here, modern au, fluff, Toji's family are not a bunch of assholes, Reader is Toji's adoptive sibling, platonic and crack and humour ig

a/n: thought about this while making potato chips

"You have a sibling!? Why haven't you told us?"

"There was no need."

Toji slurped his noodles, ignoring the groan that he got from Gojo Satoru. Being in the same club with Gojo Satoru and a few other extras proved to be quite fun. He thought joining the basketball club with egocentric people would be infuriating but in this little group he managed to make friends suprisingly. He let Sukuna take his shrimp while he shrugs, right now; Gojo was quite adamant on getting to know his kid sibling that was in the same school as him, just two grades lower than him.

Geto slips in a joke if he wanted to court them or something since the white haired male next to him who was currently miming a camera with his two hands. Just the thought of another Fushiguro gave him the heebie jeebies, he was already offputting with how crass his personality was, his sibling would probably be the same. He gagged to Geto's comment, his hand on his chin when he thought about it.

"Unless, your sibling isn't a carbon copy of you and is way more better than you.."

Sukuna waved his hand to deny that sentence with a smirk and it received a nudge from Toji, they had this whispering thing they had going on to keep secrets away from Gojo and they giggle like two middle schoolers finding out about a dirty secret.

"Oh so you've met them, Ryoumen?" Nanami sipped his coffee, he had his notebook infront of him, consistently taking notes since he'd miss a day of school and its already biting him in the ass. The pink haired male shrugged, copying the same move as his friend that made Gojo click his tongue to.

"If you don't like them, why are you even curious?"

Gojo defended himself, "Its not that I dont like them, I barely met them. Its just that.."

Without noticing he painted an image of you even before seeing you in the flesh so maybe you weren't that bad. Gojo just cant imagine Toji having a sibling, would he be a doting brother? A strict one? Geto had stated stuff about dating and he barely batted an eye so it looked like to Gojo that Toji didnt really care about you but the next words that Toji said irked him.

"You look like you have a lot on your mind, Gojo. Mind sharing?"

Toji finished his noodles but thought of leaving some of the soup at the bottom, thats where all the seasonings sink to. Knocking his chopsticks into the bowl, he leaned forward to hear what Gojo had say. Gojo was the type to walk past the obvious and it was funny. Seeing THE Gojo Satoru struggle was entertaining.

"Nah, I'm good, I'll just see them myself." He bit on his lollipop, crunching up the last bits down his throat.

"Good luck finding them then," The black haired man got up from his seat with his tray and Gojo gasped. He hasn't even finished asking questions but knowing him, he loved avoiding questions like some personal torture he lets people go through.

"I'm bringing my mom to the clinic so I gotta run," Toji gruffly said, grabbing his jacket and he was so fast to slip away.

"Hey! Are you sure you're not using that as an excuse again? Me and Suguru legit saw Mrs. Fushiguro doing laps the other day!"

"Even did some cardio too.." Geto chuckled, remembering how Toji's mom proudly confessed how she had done a lot of stuff in one day. It made him smile while Gojo was sulking like a poodle beside him. Sukuna cleared his throat from eating and cleaned his plates up. He glanced at Gojo mischeviously.

"Well.. if you want to know one thing.." Sukuna dragged the silence a little longer before chuckling. "They're a bit of the same."

Sukuna too walks away, waving slyly to meet up for practise soon and Gojo scoffed. That sleazy bastard thought that information on you was new.

"That was sooo lame."

-------------

Toji had his hands on the wheel, listening to his mother talk about what should they have for dinner. In between talking about your favourites and if his dad was gonna come home, she recalled the days where you first came home.

Mama Fushiguro liked recalling this a lot and when many people were bored by this tale by now, Toji showed interest. He didn't admit though when he finally had a kid sibling in his house, he was actually pretty elated. The house was quiet on its own with himself but with you, it was like he had a friend.

When you are adopted, his peace wasn't disrupted at all but it was like yours was. You were in a completely new environment but not unfamiliar. You had been fostered before but he didn't pry into your past, there was no need to he thinks. It was normal for you to be distant even if his parents try to pry you out your shell like a cat with its nails stuck on the walls. You claw back to your comfort and wasn't all that talkative.

He didn't force you to talk or advise you on anything because it was clear you could handle yourself, you just like to keep to yourself more than his parents. But knowing this doesn't make the bond between you and him all the more stumped. He did attempted to eventhough his mother would nag about how it was barely anything; calling you down for dinner wasn't talking and hell, task dividing either!

Going to the same college didn't made you two any closer. He thought asking you about school was corny and didn't bother, he didn't really think much of it. By the tired look in your face, it was more than enough to know what you've been through but he was sure you stayed out of trouble because he made sure of that.

He took his usual route back to the car but realise you were a bit late. You weren't usually tardy, he was and even so you would still wait for him out of courtesy. He spun back around and thought of fetching you in an instant. Maybe now was the time he would open his mouth and talk to you.

There was a bit of a ruckus in one of the classrooms. If he didn't had sharp ears then he would've walked right past but that was one of the subject classes you attend and peeped in.

It was horrid.

He saw a bunch of hooligans messing up your notebooks and scraping it against the ground with their shoes. He recognized some of them as they squat at your level and taunt you.

It was some people in his fan club or whatever and he heard bits of how someone this puny couldn't be his sibling. You were clutching onto a bag and it wasn't just your bag that you were concerned of, the laptop that his parents gave were in it and the bag slides clean off and you were only protecting the laptop with your life. You didn't mind your keychains being ripped off and tossed about but amongst the stomping, the laptop was clutched tightly in your arms.

"Hey!"

His shout boomed across the room, shocking even you. You looked up to see your brother and he looked about ready to rip into the bullies with his bare hands. The group turned pale when they saw that their idol had caught them in the act of tormenting his little sibling and bit their tongue as their knees wobble.

The details of the lecture/threat of Toji wasn't heard as your ears buzz with fear. His touch made you snap back to reality, his rough hands helping you up gently and you wobble in your place.

"Holy shit.." You exclaimed in a huff to which he looked at you in an instant.

"You're really fucking loud when you're mad."

Silence settled to which the both of you laughed at in few seconds. This was the first time you didn't feel akward and commented so honestly. He patted your back and pick up your stuff, though soiled; atleast you were only shaken but unharmed.

The walk back to the car came naturally albeit a bit of limping in your step, you had twisted your ankle while running to catch the laptop before the others did and it sparked hellfire in Toji. His main priority now is atleast offering a crumb of comfort and heard out your reasoning for portecting a device rather than your skull.

"We could always buy you a new laptop,"

"I like the one now."

"Its not worth it breaking your skull in to protect it though."

To be honest, it wasn't about liking it. Just the big smiles on your adoptive parents' faces when they urged you to open the gift they bought you, it made your eyes all teary.

You weren't adopted before but you had to go through mean foster parents that had too much on their hands and that led to negliance to your needs. That led to several arguments and got you sent to the adoption center and it broke you, just the thought of connecting with another family made you numb.

But this family was so gentle with you. Even when you showed that there was no need for such kindness yet it wasn't that they coaxed you out of your shell but that they were so tender through their actions.

Toji notices the tears and scratches the back of his neck, he didn't read this in the big brother dummy book to know what to do if his little sibling cries. You had a distant look in your eyes before you realised you had reached the car with him.

Thankfully, both parents didn't notice the missing schoolbag or the agitated state that you're in. They were all smiles and Mamaguro was powdering on her face so it meant a family outing tonight.

You couldn't help but panic when you try to think of an explanation of your missing bag but Toji butted in on his parents conversations.

"Hey, Y/N wanted some ice cream before dinner, is that okay?"

Toji blurted out all of a sudden and you so badly wanted to deny it but he dug a deeper hole for you when the two agreed so quickly. They were excited that you finally requested something in a while and the car swerved to the nearest convenience store. Your brother adjusted himself in his seat, taking out his earphones and leaned a bit closer so the two infront won't hear.

"No worries, there's a store that sells bags beside the convenience store."

You huffed out a breath, your mouth feeling so dry and nodded to his words. He was a life saver.

Toji remembered how jittery you were when he suddenly made up some shit about you wanting ice cream that he couldn't help but chuckle outloud. The light from your eyes almost dimmed when you thought he would snitch on you. He parked close to the clinic, turning his back to grab an umbrella incase it rained. His mom pouted to his sudden chuckle and sighed.

"What are you laughing for? You're not ditching practise, yknow? You're going after you send me off at the clinic."

"Huh?" His mom showed a text conversation between her and Geto and scoffed. The lengths that man bun would go to have him show up at practise. That damn milf hunter-

-----------

"Hands up if your name is Y/N Fushiguro!!!" The class erupted in some noise upon seeing the popular duo stand near the doors of their class. When you heard your name being called, you reluctantly raised your hand; recognising who these two were.

The duo's faces fell for a moment, choking. Oh, you were adopted? Not in an offensive way obviously but Gojo might've heaved a sigh of relief. Atleast you weren't a splitting reflection of your brother, that would give him nightmares! Geto on the other hand realised why Toji would hide such a fact, an element of suprise if you will. He thought the two of them wouldn't find you out in an instant, did Toji thought so low of them? You raised a brow, wondering what they wanted.

They watched you walk out the classroom and Gojo adjusted his glasses. The graphic t-shirt and the style you had was a sublte influence from your brother.

"Well, well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

You had the exact relaxed expression like your brother except you slowly turn weirded out, why were they ogling you like this?

You took time to observe them head to toe subtly while Gojo yapped about the tale of how Toji didn't reveal that he had a younger sibling, they were lean and muscular and they had this obvious good cop bad cop duo energy. The white haired man sounded visibly upset that you were kept as a secret from the rest, was this some kind of facade to get to know you better? You shifted to one foot to another, stopping the music playing in your earpods and cleared your throat.

"Do you want to get with my brother or something orrr...?" Gojo didn't get to the point so you went straight in but due to their reactions, you might've miscalculated. Tilting your head, you pointed at Geto's painted nails and the earrings he had.

"And you.. are you two like gay or something?" You put your hands in defense, talking quickly before they get the wrong idea, "Hey, I don't discriminate. I just barely had any fans of my brother be male sooo..."

For once in their lives, Gojo was speechless and Geto had his eyes wide open like crazy.

One thing was for sure, anyting that was the apart of the Fushiguro family was a complete nightmare.

[starzshopoflove]

Can I get ghost comfort for someone who doesn't eat because of anxiety?

omg i love this ask so much since i also have bad ass anxiety that beats on me till my meds kick in. Just gonna base this off my own kind behavior with food and eating since i have my own issues too so let me know if this is good or not!!

Notes: no warning, fluff, comfort no hurt, gn!reader

I feel like ghost wouldnt understand it at first and just think your skipping meals or not hungry. So he'd probably be a little pushy at first asking if you've had a snack or not when your together or he'll send you a text randomly in the day if you've eaten or not

But when he starts to notice how you clam up when he asks about it after the first few times he'll shut up and try to watch you a bit to see what's making you not eat. He'll start seeing how sometimes when you're on a date or just at the bookshop for lunch you might pick at your food but not really eat any of it, or how you might only eat some parts of your sandwich and leave the bread off it, sometimes you'll just not eat with him and just be there talking.

When he does finally ask you about it he tries really hard to approach it sensitively since your kinda like a skittish cat in a corner when he has asked before. So you'd be in his flat laying on his couch together and he's keeping you all warm with an arm around your waist rubbing some soothing circles so you stay relaxed while watching whatever show he let you pick.

"Dove"

"Mhm?"

"Do you not like gettin' lunch with me?"

You might freeze up on him and not talk for a moment mulling over if you really wanna tell him or not, you dont usually like talking about it. Whenever you have before people just started teetering around eating with you or acted like you had some sort of issue, treated you like you were just different.

"I like getting lunch with you Si, love getting to spend time with you"

"Yeah but you never eat anythin' with me"

You really wanted to dance around this topic some more but he just felt so warm and smelled so good you were already fused onto the couch at this point. You felt safe with him, like he wasn't going to judge you for trying to be honest with him. The way he let you slot yourself next to him tracing patterns on your skin made your blood a little warmer and your head a little fuzzy

So you finally let yourself spill out your issues hands playing with a strand of your hair that was in your face so you couldn't focus on if he was judging you or not trying not to stumble over your words

"Its not that i don't like eating with you Si, just sometimes when I'm out n I know people can see me eating makes me feel like I'm being watched and all i can think about is how loud im chewing or If i look weird when I'm eating. Then when i start thinking about it, ts' like there's a hole in my stomach and if i try to fill it, might just come right back up. But if I do make myself eat then i have to think about how full I feel n how i can feel the weight of the food in my stomach n once i start thinkin about that i start feelin sick again"

The whole time you let out you meek confession Simon was holding you a little closer loosening his grip so you didn't feel trapped, resting his chin on your head still keeping a warm hand around you to keep you relaxed. He let you speak without cutting you off even when you paused to try to figure out what you feel and put it into words he keep comforting you with his touch and softly nudging you to keep going

"Wish you didn't feel like you had to hide this from me luv, I care about you. Never want you to feel like you're stressin' yourself out for my sake, want you to feel safe with me and tell me when something's bothering you so i can help yeah?'"

Oh my god, whole time you feel like you could cry because he's cooing to you so sweetly and holding you so close not making you feel like you're weird or different from him just because you cant eat sometimes. You might sniffle a little which would make him worried but when he sees its just you getting a little emotional he'll calm down a little and place a kiss on your cheek murmuring about how much he cares and doesn't want you to force yourself to do something you don't like.

Feel like he'd still check to see that you atleast ate something through the day, and instead of doing dates at public places he might pick up some food and you'd eat at either one of yours's flat , sometimes at the park when he knows it wont be crowded either.

Just know he'd sometimes just pick up the fork and feed you when your looking at your food weird letting you know its alright but he'd never push if you resisting too much

__________________________________________

god i love writing soft ghost

[volturiprincess]

im feeling sad today but this will make me crack a smile

how would the romanians react if their mates (separate) make them a joke about breaking up

but these poor dudes dont realise its a joke and their dead heart is breaking

Sorry it took me a while to get it out😅. I was between doing a HC or a like short one-shot (or drabble🤷‍♀️) but I hope this makes up for it. I added a twist with both of them because I couldn't bare to be to mean with them. But enjoy💙 (forgot to mention I might of added a little HP reference🤭)

Breaking up w/ them Prank

Warning: Some foul language and slight mention of smut (just a kiss)

Vladimir:

“Vlad? We need to talk”

The way his gaze slowly turned to me looked almost as if he were possessed in a horror movie. Why must I be so mean to him? We were literally relaxing in our mini library but I was thinking about pranking him for a while. It's been too quiet and without Stefan around to help me prank Vlad, so it's been up to me.

“What is it?”

Here it goes.

“I don't know if you feel it too but lately I feel like we don't have a strong connection”

He literally had the most confused look to mankind. Probably trying to recollect any moment where the bond might of ripped

“What do you mean? We are literally mates, our bond is greater than any of those silly human relationships”

“Well I don't know how to explain it but I just don’t think I can see forever with you”

Oh no his face draped, oh gosh is it too late to take back in what I said? No stop, he looks like a kicked puppy. Oh no his eyes are shimmering even, I have never seen him like this.

“W-what? B-but we been together for a year, your my mate, my everything, your my forever”

Alright keep it together. 

“Well I just grown tired, I just dont think I can be in this forever, I don't even want to be a Vampire, I want to have a normal life”

“I see then…well the door is over there, you can see yourself out”

Wait what? Is he being serious, i'm just joking Vlad but he looks serious now. The shimmering eyes he had earlier are gone and he had his classic bored resting face. He got up and started to reach for another book but I threw myself at him, clutching him like my life depended on it. 

“No Vlad please, I was just joking you're the light of my life, of course I see forever with you, the moment you came to my life everything was finally clear”

He looked down at you with a small smirk, and at that moment I knew he was fucking with me.

“You foul evil little cockroach, you were messing with me?” “You started it with that ridiculous prank of yours”

“Fair”

“Next time you want to pull a prank like that on me, make sure the day before you dont have my tongue down your throat”

Blushing at his comments “Yes Vlad”

What an idiot he can be but he’s my idiot.

Stefan:

Alright it's been too quiet these past few days, Vladimir hasn't thrown a tantrum and my lovely mate went off to pick me up some food. Usually me and him are pranking each other but we haven't done anything in a while. Which leads me to my genius idea of doing a break up prank on him. It's been on my mind lately so why not. I go to our favorite place to cuddle, the sunroom, and pace back and forth to set up the prank. 

I hear the front door open and I hear his voice

“Darling i'm home”

“In the sunroom Stefan”

That should spook him, I never call him by his name, it's always been Stef or love. He comes into the room with a confused look, if only he knew what was to come his way.

“Are you okay? You called me by my name, you never to that”

“I well, there is something”

“Talk to me”

“I think we should end our relationship”

He just stared at me, no sort of emotion was displayed in his face. Did I break him? Should I get Vladimir? Why is he not even blinking? Okay now I'm scared.

“You can't do that”

“What do you mean ‘I can't do that’?”

“What do you think the mate bond is? You can’t just end it like that”

“Well sorry to break it to you but I can't take whatever this is much longer”

I see his eyebrows furrow a bit like if he is in deep concentration or he’s really considering my thoughts. 

“Why? Why now?”

“I just feel like it's always the same thing you know, we can't really do much since you and Vladimir are hiding and well I just feel trap now”

He took an unnecessary gulp. I think he’s starting to think I am being serious. One of his eyes filled with venom and I heard him sniffle. He rubbed his eyes quickly and cleared his throat.

“So you truly feel like this?”

“I do”

“I see…well i'm sorry I couldn't be a better mate to you, I thought you were happy, I knew I was for sure”

Oh son of a muffin, he looks so sad, he’s actually believing me.

“Stef…it's a prank”

“What?” “It's a prank, I would never leave you, I'm stuck with you forever as much as you are stuck with me”

He ran to me, pulling me into his arms and buried his face into my neck.

“Play a prank like that again and I will leave you”

I know he’s joking but gosh do I love him.

[twinkletfout]

❥SET HER UP ——

prt.2

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

What was it that you heard? A bet? Or were you imagining things? You reached home past 12, thanks to your parents out of town for some days. They didn't ask you why you were so late. Of course you couldn't tell them about the fact that you almost lost your virginity to a guy who you thought were head over heels for you. You knew your mom had called you a million times but you decided to call her in the morning. Then you gradually thought about how you rushed out of the bar after those words slipped out of his lips

“W—What did you just say?” You were quick to snap at him, still with a bit of pleasure and desire for him to keep going. But you knew better

His grip on your chin tightened before he reached down and meeting your eye level, closing in on you before he said “such a good fucking bet” a smirk grew on his face as he said.

Slapping his hand away, you stood up and after you put your clothes on and rushed outside the bar. You could hear a faint voice calling out your name but it faded as you kept on walking, never looking back.

Such a fool of you to go and make out with a guy that you only known for a few days, as you were regretting your life decisions. Your phone suddenly lit up, grabbing it, you saw an unknown number asking if you got home safely. You rolled your eyes before typing.

An Unknown Number

< Did you get home safely?

< Why did you rush out like that?

You

Seriously? >

What was the point anyway? >

An Unknown Number

< What do you mean?

You

Forget it >

Don't you ever text me again. >

An Unknown Number

< At Least let me explain myself.

< I was just bored and I needed to get it off but after getting to know you it completely changed.

< It's the truth.

You

You were bored? >

And you just used me for what? >

To sleep with me? Well, no thank you, im sure there is tons of girls who would like to fuck you but please do not come after me cause im not

interested. >

He took some time before you saw that he was typing again. Whatever it is, you would be lying if you said that you hated him. Before he could hit send, you exited your messages and switched off your phone.

If he had all this time to text he could’ve at least called you. Once. You made up your mind to stay away from relationships and most definitely from Gojo Satoru.

You woke up late the next day, thankfully it was Saturday and you were certainly not ready to face Gojo at uni. You had completely forgotten about the fact that you didn't bother replying to Gojo last night that when you turned on your phone, it was filled with text messages and at least 15 missed calls.

And two voice notes.

"pick up your phone now, Y/n."

"Gosh, Y/n, just listen to me okay? Im fucking sorry, I— I shouldn't have said that. Let's talk again, hm?"

You could sense that he was completely irritated with the whole situation but you didn't bother texting him back.

a/n: girl when did i even write this, dont know if i will even finish thi shi💀

[apcthetics]

*˖ ⊹ ────────  lore dump.

this is just a little collection of explanations about where my characters currently are physically, emotionally, career-wise, etc. it's mainly for me to keep myself straight with my ideas and their development but uhhh also to make sense if i drop any of it in a post. that's all ! read or don't read at your discretion ! don't matter to me.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  alistair castillo.

i really don’t imagine his life changes much from day to day to be totally honest………. there is nothing new happening in his life he’s still just being a menace upon new york and giving people sick ass tattoos.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  brady ackerman.

he’s been wound up in a lot of different projects and probably running himself into overdraft; busy filming the next season of his show, and also alongside it trying to finish out a manuscript for the next book he’s supposed to be writing, all while flying all over the world in just a handful of weeks. hasn’t touched down in new york for more than a few days in the past 2 months but hey at least he’s successful right. right guys. right. haha. he's not tired at all. don't look at his dark circles for too long. 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  caleb williamson.

christmas is a pretty big time for his little side gig selling rare records online, so that picked up quite a bit even as his music lessons kind of trailed off as kids went off on winter holiday. it’s also just been rly quiet for him because obviously christmas didn’t go very well as family dinners never really go well at the willamson/michaelson house and then luvena has been either away or rotting in her room so there’s not really been much for him to do if levi and trinity arealso preoccupied (with each other? idk i dont god mod 👀. ) he did do a really successful new years eve show i think that he’s proud of but mainly it’s just been his little side hustle and now as lessons are picking back up.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  clementine bailey.

so clem is still in the process/paperwork of buying the diner, all the bank loans and everything like that but she is now effectively in charge of it which has definitely been ! a big deal ! her and loren moved into a new apartment and clem has yet to even unpack most of her boxes because she’s spending a lot of time at the diner going over all the financials and trying to teach herself how to handle the back end of a business instead of just the front half. it’s A Lot and she’s definitely Stressed and crying a lot and everyone has been getting 3am baked thumb print cookies, but don't even worry about her !

*˖ ⊹ ────────  damien clarke.

christmas is always the best but busiest time of year for retail so i imagine damien has been putting in a lot of extra effort to make sure that it’s special !! he did some big holiday toy drives alongside some local charities, but since the christmas rush has kind of fallen off and times are slower he’s now just trying to get through the pile of bookkeeping and administrative stuff that he needs to worry about. i have been playing with the idea of him running a very limited indie comic publishing thing out of the back office of his shop, having started with the one done by him & honey and now kind of expanding to artists who maybe don’t have the funds or ability to afford printing and stuff themselves but………… idk the logistics of that yet so it’s definitely just an idea in his head that’s in the early stages. he’s having fun with it. honestly he's having a great time.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  eli russo.

again i don’t think his daily life has much variation. working security at a show venue a few evenings a week and still coaching the Youth ™ w/ boxing a few days a week… sometimes he does do like 14 hour days which is a bit unfortunate and his schedule is all over the place which is bad for the brain that can barely remember what day it is on a good week but you know!!! his memory has been slightly improving thanks to all of the puzzles & all that stuff!!! so like good for him!!! go off king!! 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  elijah guiterrez.

again i just brought him here so i don’t really think things have been particularly outstanding in his life. just him and carmen doing their little school thing idk. he’s working as a TA in among all the other school stuff he’s doing i suppose.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  esther thomas.

lowkey i think she’s started dropping off from doing auditions all together… like she’s so bored of them, and getting anywhere in the snow and cold is rough, so while she hasn’t admitted it to anyone or even necessarily herself she’s just like. not been looking. kind of giving up on her dream but doesn’t want to admit that because then that means her parents were right. but like really she’s resigned herself to the bartending life. otherwise nothing new.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  grace bao.

she’s been stuck in this hellish domestic civil lawsuit at the moment that’s eating up practically all of her spare time because the judge and the defense are assholes and she has gotten competitive about it, alongside all of her Daughter Responsibilities for her parents and their millions of holiday and new years parties. grace does nothing but work, eat, be miserable at charity dinners, work some more, and maybe sleep right now. that’s her whole social life. 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  jackson ruíz.

construction is fairly seasonal work so while he’s still working he’s not as busy as he usually is, and also it’s winter and everything is depressing, so he’s definitely been deep into hermit “i haven’t seen you in a week” mode. especially with giselle kind of flying out to conferences and stuff there hasn’t been much reason for him to get out of his apartment. he’s in a Depression Era but hey ! it happens ! 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  kal sekh.

i think the news of eren’s diagnosis has had quite an effect on kal, especially having to keep it a secret from everyone and also because she doesn’t want as much support for it as he feels like he should be giving, so he’s slipping a little bit into old habits again and overworking himself into the ground so he doesn’t have to rly stop and think about what’s happening. double shifts and insomnia are back baby !!!!!!!!!

*˖ ⊹ ────────  kas peters.

just came out of a period where he had a few different mural commissions going on all at the same time and he was much busier than he’s usually used to so now he is simply basking in the fact that he doesn’t have to worry about funds broke-ass artist bitch but also that he doesn’t have anything to do. just kind of vibing. fucking around with his art in his room. fucking around w/ gabriella’s emotions. you know how it is. no cares in the world for this guy.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  minji kyung.

around new years she had the opening of her studio !! so she’s been very busy, not really making art but she’s been spending a lot of her time at the gallery/studio. this is a really big change from her because she’s kind of lacked purpose or a project for a really long time that i imagine she’s just really happy and really excited ??? but also probably very daunted because she feels like she doesn’t belong or doesn’t have the skills to do it properly yano. 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  reid baker.

he took a little vacation time off since his work is also pretty seasonal to go back and visit his parents on the farm, but mostly his life has been no different except he’s been shovelling snow off the central park steps instead of just being a glorified gardener. honestly he’s pretty chill he doesn’t have the braincells to be anything except chill.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  sebastián dominguez-herrera.

this bad boy went on tour !!! first it was america, and following that he did a few shows in europe & south america. he’s also been working on his next album in between, but he’s at a bit of a stand still with that one because he isn’t feeling ~ inspired ~ and he’s kind of groggy and thinks he’s sick all the time because all the travelling + the winter that he’s not really used to. drama queen never experienced seasonal depression before and hes getting a little taste of it.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  wren noor.

i think wren is starting to actually reconsider the kinds of things she wants to do with her life and the degree she already has now… i think maybe she’s looking into online courses at other universities where she might be able to finish her masters but also is considering a career change totally… she’s been spending way more time on the roof with her telescope and getting excited about that stuff again as she heals, but definitely is still cautious,,, anyway she's been doing her research.

[nori-the-cat]

Sorry I wanted to ramble a bit bc this been annoying me these past few days

what do you think of tarot readers who might be trying to identify exactly who an idols fs going to be? for instance they may or may not be dating rn or may not want to date. But I seen so many blogs trying to really dig and dig for the info on who they are supposed to be even snooping on random ppls pages and assuming thats who they must be. Either all bc of zodiac orrrr bc they just have that vibe that they assuming. idk shits crazy online nowadays. Without even considering what the idol may or may not want or like in a person or if the idol even want to date at all which again they might not want too.

I also wanted to say I think it got harder to genuinely meet idols and celebs in more relaxed places nowadays than in the 00s or even the 90s were a slightly more reasonable time period for celebs to meet ppl more freely. I also think some idols just going to be wanted for their body or their face, ppl who follow them on tneir social medias just going to be lusting for them and I can think of a few idols that will probs just be used for sex or hook ups bc of the way their companies using their image.

You wouldnt be able to genuinely meet them in casual settings without their fans making a scene about it. One of the super junior guys said they user to dress as female and i thought he was a genius for that cause no one saw who he was when he was with his partner but thats sad too at the same time bc hes old enough by now to surely be able to openly date without stupid behaviour from his fans

Sure there some very very goodlooking physically idols but like there is more to them than their body yet all I see even on their personal tags on this site is just straight up oversexualisation of them to the point it really seem delusional and unhinged, it like ppl aint seen abs before kpop normalised male idols showing abs. So I dont think its actually possible for just to have normal conversation w/ idols if you were to meet them bc like they not going to trust easily and they might not notice u if u arent a somebody with a lot of followers. all in all it seems very vein even if the idols are likeable, I just dont like nor agree with this overreaction that ppl seem to habe toward them and their personal lives. Even i found myself getting sucked into it bc like what else is there besides celebs and idols? there just nothing normal about it anymore.

For instance I was thinking it would be more doable to meet them privately and just treat them like they are normal non idol but it just not possible anymore sadly :c theres many idols I like or wouldve liked to get to know if I had the means too without stalking ro being delulu but its so realistically impossible.

Idols cant even stand next to opposite gender without getting rumors so like I often do wonder how they going to meet their fs if that something an idol might want but then I also am like it dont matter, ik it not me. But like wouldnt you be bit curious as to what it like? yet the downside will always be social media users sending hate if they fs get found out, knetz overreacting, media overreacting, stalkers, sasaengs and so on. Yet I want bts for example to meet their fs already.

Yoongi already seem like he doesnt particularly care if he dont meet his fs but at the same time he got more chances to bc of his popularity and so on. if life wasnt about money i think kpop would ne less toxic overall bc we could then enjoy these groups more than just for the way they look or how rich they are and so on.

sorry for my long ramble but i dont think its spoken about enough cause how normalised it is to be fully deluded about idols and their personal life. anyway i enjoy your readings as they dont poke too much <3

Hello Anon, this was an insightful thought. Thank u for taking your time to share it with me. ♡

Now, you asked me why other tarot readers are doing tarot readings on idols FS. Well the answer is I don’t know. I truly don’t know. I don’t have the answer either. I also don’t want to judge how other tarot readers do their reading or what reading they like to do. I mean I do read idols ideal type, their take on romantic relationships, how they are like as boyfriend, and many more. So, who am I to say something on this? 😅

However, celebrities in general live a fairly private life. This makes them become or seen as interesting. I mean wouldn’t you want to know what your introverted friends do on the weekend? It’s the same with celebrities. The more mysterious someone is, the more other people want to know about their private life and that includes whoever they date or marry. On top of this, celebrities live a wealthy, segregated, and privileged social life which normal people can’t have. The side effect to this is that people would obviously want to know what they do on a daily basis and who they associate themselves with.

I hope that answers your frustrations. Also, thank you for enjoying my readings. ♡

[acourtofquestions]

Empire of Storms Chapter 11 spoilers via reaction / vent:

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOUR STILL READING I AM GOING TO START SPOILING THE CHAPTER (not the book… I think?) AFTER THIS FINAL PREFACE

*spoiler preface for myself; please do not tell me what happens next* this is a reacting vent😅😂

— please excuse me while I scream in Wivern for a moment — no one I know reads these books, I’m an insomniac who tends to read before I go to sleep & now I am wide awake & losing it😂🤣 hence HI TUMBLR! … now—

—NO NO NO NO NO NO NO AGHHH AHHHH AH NO AHSBDHEALANSHDEJWKANSBSHDOWLWNW🤦‍♀️

“Your Second, Asterin Blackbeak, shall pay the blood debt between our clans. She dies at sunrise tomorrow.”

ASTERIN?

Of all of them WHY — WHY SARAH — would you pick ASTERIN?! (What makes you think I can handle that!?) NOT ASTERIN; not WILD, TRUE, FIERCE, LOVING, BEAUTIFUL, BRAVE, HILARIOUS, RESILIENT, (ONE OF MY FAVORITES — ON MY DO NOT KILL LIST — ASTERIN?!?) SHE IS THE HEART OF THE BLACKBEAKS!🖤… If Manon is the hope Asterin is the heart (that’s what I’ve been going by)!!! Even just from a practical level; yall Manon was a MESS without her second (& that was literally a book ago… just last week😅) & this was when Asterin was still her third!! None of us are equipped for this; NOT EVEN MANON; if Manon Blackbeak can’t handle it there is no way I can! — Why can’t the old Blackbeak bitch just die already🤦‍♀️ ; let Petrah & Manon take over, & be done with this madness already! Bye bye Iskrah! Hello, semi-humane not psychopaths w cute dragons!😊😅😅🙃

… Oh, this better not happen… why would you even make me think it’s possible (she’s supposed to be immortal😫), why would anyone even consider scaring me like that?? Like okay, I know “it’s a book” and “characters are gonna die” but NOT ASTERIN OKAY?! I have a list of things I need from this book & this is not on there! … it’s gonna be a 13 revolt then right👊?- -RIGHT?!? … yeah, it’ll be fine🤪 cause um there’s just no way. I refuse. Nope! 13 bb’s r off limits!!

CHARACTERS THAT ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE: Aelin, Rowan, Lysandra, Fleetfoot (I legit googled that one during CoM to make sure she lives forever & ever—thankfully it appears I am right!) Evangeline (the 2nd time I broke my spoiler google rule; thankfully she’s also safe) Aedion, Dorian, Manon, ASTERIN, Abraxos, Yrene (I know we haven’t technically met her but I read TAB & already love her okay?), Sam (YEAH I KNOW—from day 1 I knew that he dies but GUESS WHAT— HES STILL ON THE LIST OF CHARACTERS YOU CAN’T KILL; I get it for plot & ships… but also I’m still in denial… I still miss him too😭) even Chaol (sweet idiot Chaol is NOT allowed to die, not after he’s done better, not after EVERHTHING!) Not after Sorscha, Not after Sam, DONT YOU DARE DO Empire of Storms!!!!!!!!!! Not my 13! Not the kickass group of besties! No, how about we pull an ACOTAR & none of the main characters “actually” die? Huh, how’s that sound?! JUST NOT LIKE THIS OKAY OKAY!!!

Goodness… How am I supposed to sleep tonight??? Waiting to see if Asterin survives the morning?!? …

I need to find a better pre-bed book😂😅🤣… & maybe another therapist if characters start dropping like flies😅😂 … OH GODS SHE BETTER NOT!!! …

And now we’re switching perspectives? — Most books I get annoyed & only like a few “the most” so I don’t wanna switch perspectives when I’m worried about my character… the good “problem” with these books are I LIKE EVERY CHARACTER thus enjoy every chapter & also AM CONSTANTLY ON CLIFFHANGERS! I’m at my wits end between; Rowan going on his “I’m not a worthy prince blah blah blah” bullshit, Aelin just slowly collapsing inside because of stupid old men politics, Elide teaming up with Lorcan (& whatever the hell is hunting them freaking me out), bb Evangeline & Fleetfoot having to say a TEMPORARY goodbye (still broke my heart💔), not knowing wtf Chaol & Nesryn are, Dorian almost dying every .5 seconds, & Manon 99% of the time but NOW ASTERIN… how is this chapter 11??? This feels like chapter 70 shit… HOW BAD IS CHAPTER 70 GONNA BE FOR IT TO ALREADY BE LIKE THIS… I miss the days of Rowaelin reuniting in Rifthold🥹… Remember when Dorian used to bring Celaena puppies & candy & the biggest issue was sneaking into a ball🥺

Well on that note time to go binge read or be responsible & sleep… hopefully Asterin DOES NOT DIE!!! But I’m sure I’ll be cliffhanger ramped spamming anyways😂🤣

[sphericalbee]

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

[valentone]

crazy fucking dream i had

so it's me and two other guys walking towards this house in the middle of a small field that's in the middle of a forest in the middle if nowhere (the only sign of society being a walmart that's like an hour away that's next to a theatre/bar thing) and we're looking around collecting samples of like plants and taking notes. one of looks into the distance where longer grass is (abt chest length) and notices something. a deer w what looks like a broken next. it's jumping on it's hind legs and w each hop the neck and head ragdoll but it's quickly approaching the third guy in my team.

we yell at him to run towards the house for safety. when he makes it in the deer sinks back into the grass. we make our way towards the house avoiding the tall grass. when we make it inside we talk to the family that lives there and they explain that what we saw was a curse. everyone who sees the deer will start seeing stuff that isnt actually there laying on the ground. it'll re appear whenever they get out of eyesight of it. until eventually they die a horrible death.

so we're fraking out and we start wondering what to do bc at this point it's revealed we're paranormal investigators waiting for the rest of our team to arrive. suddenly the man that was being followed yells and points towards a corner in the room. he sees a bald man just standing there. we dont know what to do so we set protection circles around him like blessed salt and holy water. we try to sleep later but he stays awake.

we get up in the middle of the night bc the second half of our team is supposed to b arriving soon. looks like a camera and lights guy and someone to carry our equipment. they're walking towards the house and we see them through the house's big glass sliding doors. the deer appears and runs straight at them and attacks them. they run off into the woods and we dont hear from them. we search for them and find nothing.

in the morning, the family that lives at the house (a daughter abt 7 years old, a mother and a father in their early 50s) asks if we can go to walmart for them to get somethings before this huge storm is supposed to come and we oblige since they r housing us. once we arrive the cursed man goes to the bar and says he's seen the bald man every mile since we drove awake from the house and wants to go to the bar. we go to buy supplies while he drinks. we try to leave to go back home but as soon as we paid for the groceries the sirens go off and we're all rushed into the back of the walmart where a shelter is at. even the patrons of the bar run here since the bar doesnt have a shelter.

we try telling them we have to go back but they wont let us leave. it's coming down extremely hard outside and definitely would not b a good idea to drive in these conditions but we keep insisting. we still cant leave. a night passes and i apparently have scrying abilities and look at the house at night in the storm. the deer has made its way into the home and the person it first targets is the daughter. my scrying gives out as soon as he makes contact w the daughter

when the storm ends we drive back and the house has been brutallly destroyed and the family cant b found except for body parts (hands, scalp, teeth). our second half of the team is nowhere to b found and the ppl we were (assumedly) hired by r dead. we leave the area (no cops involved or investigation idk why its a dream) and as we leave i see the deer looking at me. we leave expeditiously.

we arrive at a city and every church we step into asks us to leave. i cant bless myself and we dont have supplies to make a protection circle. we dont know why but the first guy to get cursed doesnt see anything anymore. but i do. every once in a while i'll see a brown paper bag w something inside. i dont know what i see but it's the scariest feeling ive ever had and every time it appears i start to freak out.

we go to a shop and buy some stuff, clothes i think, and a few days pass. i started realizing that i hadnt seen the bag around for a while, but as soon as i notice my third crew member throws up. he's seeing a decapitated head of the old man who helped us. we cant see it.

we figure out that the things we see have to do w trauma and try to figure out what to do w what we know and wonder what made me and my other friend stop seeing the entities. i say i stopped seeing them after buying new clothes. my friend says he stopped seeing it the night of the storm. we connect the dots and make a guess that making purchases might stop the curse somehow, maybe it even exchanges it to someone else but we're not sure why or how.

he buys something and gives a thumbs up as we leave. the i woke up

[its-a-hil]

ok. random question. literally from the random question generator at randomwordgenerator dot cahm: What's your go-to funny story now, but was horrendous at that moment?

(i think it gave me a question i already know but eh shoot)

hm.

alright i think this is actually more of the reverse than the forward direction, but sure

when i was in middle school, i was such a horrible procrastinator (note: i am still one of those) that i often wrote rough drafts of essays during lunch

(the one year in middle school i didnt do this was when i had english 1st period. tbh i wish my schedule had worked out like that all 3 years, but alas)

but i got so comfortable just throwing out words with a pencil that i kept doing it and now i almost never edit anything bc i need to write it all in one go or it's wrong

but final drafts still had to be typed & printed, so it was only my rough drafts that were like this

fast forward to high school, and rough drafts became less of a thing

my compulsion to procrastinate did not.

oh also relevant here is that i was emotionally incapable of asking for an extension or submitting online after class or anything

so.

senior year of high school. we had an essay to write on Twelfth Night, where we had to pick a word that was repeated a few times and discuss its effect on the story

i picked 'fancy' and used it to argue the absolute bullshit point that it meant the whole thing was a dream, because i had no other ideas and my brain refused to set aside time to do something more reasonable

except.

i did not begin writing until lunch of that day.

i did not have access to the computer lab i had planned to write the essay in.

i pleaded with a friend to lend me his laptop, on which i did the most frantic writing of my life. i dont remember if i ate any food during that lunch period.

(according to my diary i also said something shitty to that friend even as he was doing me a massive favor, which. god.)

looking at the document now (ty google drive), it seems that i didnt actually finish the essay, just wrote notes on the different uses of the word

im not sure if it was just a rough draft or notes kind of thing that was due, or if i lucked out and the essay was extended or something? unclear

but what is clear is that i wrote 440 words in just over an hour, and that's not counting the quotes i had to transcribe (which also made up over 400 words)

the following night i turned it into an actual 750ish word essay in also about an hour, bc. yeah. (i still didn't write an intro until i printed it out during study hall the next day lmao)

so anyway the essay was shit, the teacher was genuinely confused and pulled me aside after the class where she handed the essays back

note: she was also the theater teacher & that semester i was doing the play afterschool, and i think she knew i was better than what i handed in

:/

in my defense i was fairly depressed that couple of months, partially due to an responsibility that i did not realize i could easily say no to. the only consequence that refusing that responsibility would have had is that i would have hated myself less and possibly liked engineering more

oh also looking at my diary apparently that was also the week that i taught precalc bc the teacher's partner was suddenly out for paternity leave and i had an essentially free period during the precalc class

so yeah that's probably the third most interesting week of my senior after the week that we had the play performances and the week i was out in the hospital when my lungs spontaneously collapsed

the funniest part of that story is that it took me another 3ish years to realize that i wanted to be a teacher, and another 2 years after that to act on that desire. lmao

anyway bc im sure you freaks want to see it, im putting the essay under the cut

Actual essay:

Twelfth Night is one of Shakespeare’s most fantastical plays. Even without the use of magic, the supposedly realistic events are completely improbable. There is evidence that the play was intended to be a fantasy, and throughout the play, the word “fancy” is used to suggest to the audience that the events of the play are little more than a fanciful construction of Orsino’s mind. 

Orsino speaks four of the six instances of “fancy” or “fantasy.” Two of these instances come in his first monologue, right at the beginning of the play. He claims that “so full of shapes is fancy that it alone is high fantastical” (1.1.14-15). As Adams says, in this passage Orsino claims “that his own imagination is so fertile that it is supremely capricious and whimsical.” (Adams 58). It is odd that the play would start with this double mention of fancy, especially when the word is not mentioned again until the end of Act two. It is even stranger that the plot concludes with Orsino making Viola/Cesario his “fancy’s queen” (5.1.415). Although Feste finishes the play with his final song, this line is the last spoken by any other character, and is a natural conclusion to the play nonetheless. There must be a reason why the play both begins and ends with a word only used six times throughout. This is the most direct clue that the play does not merely describe events in Shakespeare’s mind, but instead describes events in Orsino’s mind. 

More clues can be found by examining the other uses of fancy in the play. Sebastian remarks “Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep” after encountering a smitten, and unfamiliar Olivia (4.1.65). This line comes in one of the more fantastical scenes in the play, where Sebastian enters Illyria and is mistaken by everyone for Cesario. Sebastian can only conclude “this is a dream,” and calls upon fancy - imagination - to keep him from waking up. Sebastian addresses fancy as a powerful being, that has the ability to manipulate the world he sees. If the play does take place in Orsino’s imagination, fancy would have this power. Another thing to note about Sebastian’s mention of fancy is that it is in reference to Olivia. Her love for him, and reproach of the men who were dueling him, is the only reason he would want to continue living in this dream.

Olivia is a common subject of fancy, as used in its alternate definition of love. Malvolio, just before seeing Maria’s letter, thinks aloud that “should [Olivia] fancy, it should be one of my complexion” (2.5.24-25). Almost all references to fancy are directly related to Olivia. In fact, every major male character, except her uncle, is in love with Olivia. It is difficult for Orsino to conceive of a character who is not enamored when in the presence of the beautiful lady Olivia.  To him, when Olivia enters, “heaven walks on earth” (5.1.99). 

Regarding the rest of Malvolio’s scene, it is no less strange than Sebastian’s. The dour puritan begins with a statement of love for his lady, and then follows the insane directions of a letter that apparently describes her love for him, while the pranksters hide and watch in a nearby bush. Orsino’s mentions of “fancy” also take place in strange scenes. Without touching on the chaotic mess that is 5.1, 1.1 regards a Duke, who has been laid low grieving over his unrequited love for Olivia. She, in turn, decides not to admit any suitors until she has spent seven entire years mourning her dead brother. This scene feels almost surreal, setting the stage for the play that is to follow. Since almost every instance of the word fancy comes during a surreal scene, it can be inferred that the word is an indicator - a message to the audience that this play is a fantasy in the mind of Orsino.

There is one more use of “fancy,” however. During the argument between Orsino and Viola, Orsino speaks of men’s fancies as “more longing, wavering… than women’s are” (2.4.41-42). Twelfth Night is certainly long, spanning three months in Illyria, and the play constantly wavers from uplifting to demeaning, from reasonable to insane. The play as a whole fits so well with Orsino’s description of his “fancies” that one must wonder why that particular description was used. Interpreting Twelfth Night as a fancy conjured up by Orsino’s stricken mind makes a good deal more sense than attempting to reconcile the events with the real world. 

Work Cited:Adams, B. (1978). Orsino and the Spirit of Love: Text, Syntax, and Sense In Twelfth Night, I. i. 1-15. Shakespeare Quarterly,29(1), 52-59. doi:10.2307/2869169

The notes i wrote during the lunch period:

The first appearance of the word comes during Orsino’s monologue. The grief-stricken man describes his lovesickness by referring to his imagining of fantasies involving Olivia. Fancy is “full of shapes” to hear him tell it, filled with all kinds of images (1.1.14). This implies an interesting idea of the plot; it may be nothing more than a lovesick dream conjured by Orsino’s mind. After all, the plot is as “high fantastical” as something a distressed lover might imagine. (1.1.15). 

Malvolio’s mention of fancy is also about love and imagining it. He talks about “her [Olivia’s] fancy,” but the context of the scene and the rest of his dialogue imply that he is the one who fancies Olivia (2.5.24).. Malvolio claims that Olivia has said she would fancy “one of my complexion,” indicating that Malvolio has, through confirmation bias and imagination, convinced himself that Olivia was in love with him even before reading Maria’s letter (2.5.25). The fact that Malvolio, the outwardly stalwart Puritan, is as fanciful and in love as Orsino is a strong device for making fun of the Puritans as Shakespeare was wont to do. 

Sebastian has his reference to fancy when he meets Olivia and finds that he is the object of her fancy. 

[Discussing of the other two quotes]

In Twelfth Night, characters mention fancy when in fantastical scenes. Orsino had neglected his duties as a Duke to be lovesick over Olivia, Malvolio convinced himself that Olivia was in love with him moments before happening upon a letter regarding Olivia’s love, Sebastian came to a foreign city and found that a woman he had never seen was madly in love with him, and the final scene is perhaps the most fanciful of them all. Everything comes together in a hilarious, satisfying, and utterly unrealistic way. The use of the word fancy indicates that a scene either was or will be fanciful. This implies that Shakespeare is breaking the fourth wall, drawing attention to works of the imagination when the audience may be considering the play as imagination. In that way, Shakespeare implies that this comedy, however nice it may seem, is just a lovesick fantasy in the mind of Duke Orsino. 

Note also that almost every mention of the word is in reference to Olivia. The only exception is when Orsino calls Viola his “fancy’s queen,” but Orsino could just be (Inception-style) trying to prove to himself that he can love another. That is why the timeline does not make sense; Orsino needed to believe that his mind was not so changeable, that he would need three months with another woman to move past his love for Olivia. 

Quotes:

1.1.14-15:

Orsino: “So full of shapes is fancy 

That it alone is high fantastical.”

Context: These lines conclude Orsino’s opening monologue about his lovesickness and passion for Olivia. The monologue is discordant throughout, and this line sounds very arrogant, that nobody but a lover could have an extreme imagination.

This quote illustrates Orsino’s arrogance about his position (which is expanded upon in his later argument with Viola) and tells the audience that Orsino has spent some time cooped up in his mansion thinking of Olivia. 

2.5.23-25

Malvolio: “I have heard herself come

thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one

of my complexion.“

Context: This comes just before Malvolio finds Maria’s letter, when he is fancying that Olivia might be in love with him. He has almost convinced himself of her love even before he sees Maria’s letter, which would be a strange coincidence if Twelfth Night was not a comedy. 

This quote describes Malvolio’s desperation to be loved by Olivia. He uses a few choice words and actions of Olivia as a justification for her love, indicating confirmation bias and lack of perspective. 

4.1.63-66

Sebastian: “What relish is in this? how runs the stream?

Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:

Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;

If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!”

Context: This comes just after Sebastian enters Illyria and finds a beautiful woman suddenly wish to marry him. It is so illogical that he believes he must be dreaming, and he wishes for fancy to keep him from waking up. 

This quote tells us that Sebastian is wondrous at his entrance to Illyria. He forgets about Antonio as soon as strange men wish to duel and a strange beautiful woman claims to be in love with him. Sebastian is far more relaxed than most people would be in this context, especially if they could not find Antonio, the only person he was close with for the past three months.

5.1.412-415

Orsino: “Cesario, come;

For so you shall be, while you are a man;

But when in other habits you are seen,

Orsino's mistress and his fancy's queen.”

Context: This is the last line spoken by any character except Feste. It comes after Orsino learns of Viola’s true identity and gives up his love for Olivia. 

This quote implies that Orsino still thinks of Viola as Cesario, at least while she is in men’s clothing. 

[megacarapa]

1, 11, 20, 23 :3?

hi lucy =D!! <3 this got a bit long which isnt unusual for me but im gonna put under a cut

1. Song of the year?

spotify lists infinitesimal as my most listened song this year, which i got obsessed with bc of this video, but the thing is i just heard that song and got obsessed w it and looped it ad nauseam for like a few days, if i were to choose a song that i listened to most consistently throughout the whole year it would be hajdemo u planine VDVGFNABGN obviously its a song i knew already but i heard it at an event in the first part of the year and ended up listening to it a lot then when i started working i found out its a song a lot of my coworkers like and like singing during work so its really fun to be able to join in

11. Something you want to do again next year?

this was a very nice year for me but i cant really think of anything in particular that stood out that i would want to do again adhfjkg but just in general, i want to keep going to more events and workshops!! i want to keep learning new things!! i want to.... go on vacation again!! GSGSJGJG

20. What’s something you learned this year?

i kind of always had this notion that when i got employed i would finally have it all figured out, in particular that my anxiety would loosen up bc i would be "too busy" to constantly worry about everything, and i mean i always kind of understood that thats not how it actually works but this year confirmed it OTL, on a brighter note, i learned that im much better at dealing with rude people irl than i expected myself to be, or even just irl people in general

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

i dont really know! a lot of new things happened this year but i think i handled them pretty well so its not like i wish i could give myself advice, maybe i could tell myself please to not waste so much time on having anxiety but theres not much i can practically do about that GDJFKG, maybe sth better would be "hey man its mostly gonna be alright, give yourself more credit"

[mostlymaudlin]

Hi! For ao3 wrapped I’d love if you answered 5, 12, and 30 😊

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

this SHOULDN'T have surprised me, but bangable was my first outright smut piece for aftg, and i laughed when i woke up the next morning and my inbox was POPPIN. i feel like aftg fandom is usually p quiet in the comment section (or im just spoiled by the richness of simon snow fandom), but people were SO READY to talk about this blowjob hahahha.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

oh man LOL. theres a short answer and a long answer and im gonna go for long bc maybe talking abt it all will hold me accountable for finishing stuff.

ok so like technically i have 1 million wips. jk. technically technically i have 41 aftg wips (and ENDLESS more simon snow wips), but most of those google docs are resting in peace in my "wip graveyard" folder. they may be resurrected one day but who knows.

so more accurately i am currently sitting on four wips! all aftg.

my hs au We Can Live Forever... which i actually completed the next chapter for! but i dont want to post it until i finish the one after bc i kind of leave it off on a mean note. i might post it anyway so that people get mad at me and motivate me to keep writing though...

what i have dubbed "slut au," in which our favorite resident ace neil explores sex. its sitting at 20k rn, about halfway thru the plot. very messy atm. about 60% smut.

my secret aftg winter exchange fic

my (NEW AS OF A FEW HOURS AGO) secret aftg mixtape exchange fic

im also p much always playing w flash fics, AAAAND i have been thinking abt revisiting this old au i was working on last spring where neil works at a froyo shop. i actually wrote an entire first draft for that -- i think its sitting at like 12k but its a complete mess. i think of her tho... the found family vibes were v good...

OH and i am seriously considering doing a magnum opus andrew POV fic. i need to move into my own apartment in order to accomplish this because i want to like. really go ham analyzing the books and scaffolding that plot bc if i do it im going to tell the same story but with a very different structure i think. and i cannot do this in my current living situation. so that would probs be my Fic of 2023 if true.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

cheesy. but more than anything i think i've come to know myself as a fiction writer this year. ive always written fiction in bits and pieces, and ive done a shit ton of professional nonfiction writing. writing snowbaz last year felt good in that i was finally writing regularly, but switching fandoms upped my confidence because thats when i could finally prove to myself that i wasn't just copying rainbow rowell hahaha. WHICH LIKE she definitely continues to influence my writing but i think ive developed my style in a way where its more my own now -- i don't lean on the style of aftg the way i did for simon snow fics. and while andrew is undeniably NOT my character, ive done a lot of work around the way i write his POV that im proud of. and this makes me think that if i wanted to write original stories i could... even tho i havent rly come up with a story i want to tell on my own just yet!

from this ask meme!

[sakumasmut]

this ask will probably very long and pathetic so im sorry ahead of myself </3 YOU DIDNT JUST CHANGE THE POST TEXT TO TALK ABOUT THE GIFT AGAIN,, well obviously i wouldnt say no, and natsume,,, im always open to more natsume content because he is my everything (* >ω<) but you know, as you said in another rb's tags theres seriously so little content of my other favorites that id just feel bad to waste the gift opportunity when i can uhh, magically bring forth more nsfw wataru and leo content because. seriously. theres so little of it!! how!! i went thru their nsfw tags like, these days, and well. ashamed to say the very few there are of wataru, some are from me and even some that contain him and are related to the oddballs are still asks from me!!! no one wants this guy besides me.. ugly sobbing. but also was shocked at how little nsfw content there is of leo? surely hed be more popular so its like.. where is it.. wheres the content!! i did think about you wanting to give me a gift, and i can imagine why youd want to give it (and thinking on par that its not just a late birthday gift </3 but still thanks regardless!!), i was thinking something something with leo and ritsu but.. im not sure what! again if its anything you can just dm me about it or something i suppose </3 or if you do want to keep it as a secret little gift thatd pop up one day i dont mind either! but yeah i realized lately just how sick i am over leo and ritsu. yeah. yyeah. ive been rereading all your content w ritsu and especially the catboy ones.. uwehehe... (´_ゝ`) i kept thinking of scenarios of ritsu inviting leo over in his room with the reader also being there and erm,, wheres mika? i dont know! he can be anywhere he wants to just not here! (i am sorry mika fans. do not make me talk about him or we will reach the forbidden eroguro content. still so sorry for the one anon that didnt know what eroguro is and googled it?? then ended up asking you (ﾟωﾟ) i didnt expect to catastrophically ruin someones life like that... supposedly. my bad) but back to the main thing just uuuuw ive been missing your hcs things that were talking about two characters pursuing the same reader imagine it with leo and ritsu! oh the drama! how jealous filled creatures they both are! incredible! and absolutely phenomenal! but also them both having to share you? think of all the side-eyeing and purposefully paying attention to who you seem to give more attention towards.. they'd be so cute. i have worms in my brain(･ω･｀*). imagine if they were both catboys and so needingly desiring your affection. at once! im going to stop before i explode. i just need them both all over me right now i think. ue. i dont have much to say on behalf of wataru. at this point id just take anything with him because itd be such a rare legendary thing to witness.. ohh the holy grail of ultra rare wataru nsfw (no one wants this clown except me and exactly two other people on your blog) as you said yourself once hed be pretty much open to anything!! the opportunities are endless!! why limit them!! but also ouhhhh i have missed the wataru breeding hcs post.. id almost forgotten hes in puffy bunny even. whenever i think about fucking like rabbits phrase my mind just auto fills it in to nazuna. but ah. applied to wataru. ah. yeah. dont really have anything else to add there but amazing post 10/10 hit me like a rock when i saw it for the first time and may the person who requested that have my forever blessings. i will now sign off before i blow up right in this moment —darlingnon

mmm yeah I suppose you’re right, natsume is quite popular (I even have something for him for next month) but like you said there’s not a lot of writing for wataru or leo, so I’d wanna give you some content for them too! I definitely wouldn’t mind adding ritsu to a leo thing though, more the merrier!

honestly I might just surprise you one day? since I don’t wanna promise a deadline and not make it 🙇 but also very flattering you check my older writing fjehsbdn

[dancedance-resolution]

p

i am so acutely aware how much money i am spending on these college classes. i do not need to be doing this; i am choosing to spend money on my education. so i don't want to waste that money or this opportunity; i don't want to shortchange myself here. which is part of why it sucks extra hard that i'm falling so behind and doing such a shit job! i've paid $2000 this semester to learn the definition of synecdoche and be so fucking overwhelmed that it's taking a toll on my physical health woohoo. i am getting nothing out of these classes right now because i cannot apply myself. and i don't know fucking why. my adhd is so unmanageable right now even when i was able to take my meds it feels exactly how it felt when my pmdd was affecting the adhd (though i'm not having the mood swings to the same extent as i was with the pmdd). so like what the fuck gives. i dont have a leutal cycle i am on the patch, and the patch has been working so fucking well. maybe i'm depressed but i don't think so? maybe i'm burnt out but i had two pretty significant breaks recently so again i don't think so. AGH what the fuck is wrong w me i want nothing more than to be engaged with my studies and learning everything i can but i just. Can't. i can't keep my living space organized or clean, i can't do basic fucking hygiene regularly, i havent even been crocheting for the past few days. the only bright spot was that insane little burst of Must Write that led to ch 1 of pants allergy fic and the stamps moment early last week. maybe i need to intentionally be more autistic. intentionally tell myself this is designated rocking back and forth and thinking about nothing time. i dont fucking know

i have a bunch of stockpiled 25mg zoloft pills so maybe i'll increase myself by 25mg daily. exercise doesn't seem to be the answer bc i did 8 minutes of very moderate exercise and immediately vommed and it wasn't even hot.

maybe i shall make an appoitnment with one of the guidance ppl at school except i always become unable to articulate anything the second i'm trying to get help. fuck if i know

update i made an appointment w the mental health service their soonest available isn’t until next tuesday which is whatever, its not nearly as long of a wait as it could be etc im grateful, but i am so terrified bc like. do you realize how much shit i will be behind on by tuesday. i’m already overwhelmed with everything that’s overdue rn LOLOL