#and i dont think she cares TOO MUCH abt taking off her ears when she's with her family

[br1ghtestlight]

its so funny when ppl assume that louise's family hasn't seen her without her bunny ears since she was a toddler?? like she takes bathes/washes her hair and also they're her FAMILY they live with her they've seen her without her ears, its probably not a big deal to them like they obviously know what she looks like They probably see her without them like once every few weeks at least??? but other than gene tina bob and linda i would say probably nobody else has seen her without her bunny ears since she was a toddler and some ppl like rudy probably never have bcuz she sleeps and swims while still wearing them

[fionaheartswomen]

“You’re beautiful just the way you are”

Summary: Y/N struggles with body dysmorphia, and as her and mattstart getting ready to have sex for the first time, she freaks and things he won’t like the way she looks

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Sex, Body Dysmorphia, Crying, Angsty, , Locals DNI or do i dont rlly care

AN: This is my first smut so pls lmk wht you think. also this is js kinda what my body dysmorphia is like when it comes to sexual interactions sorry if this isn’t relatable for you 

Y/Ns POV

I was excited to have sex with Matt for the first time, we’d been dating for 6 months and I wanted this moment to be special for both of us

Things were getting heated, as I was sitting on Matt’s lap, as we harshly made out, full of clashing teeth, lip biting, etc.

Matt pushes me down onto my back, as he lifts up my shirt, abt to see my body, my mind immediately starts to overthink and I keep telling myself he’s going to hate how I look

I immediately pull my shirt down, pushing Matt off of me, and sliding down from the bed to the floor, tears welling up into my eyes

“Baby.” Matt says joining me onto the floor “Are you ok, did I hurt you?” He questions, worried as if he did something wrong.

“No.” I say “It’s just I-I hate my body, and I feel like you’ll s-see me how I see myself. I try to say out of chocked sobs

“Hey, love, look at me” Matt says bringing me to face him, wiping the tears falling down my face

“You’re beautiful just the way you are, and I love you. I don’t give a fuck what your body looks like” Matt says

“Promise?” I ask

“I promise, beautiful” Matt says, before grabbing my jaw and placing his lips of mine

“Now, can we still have sex are do you want to stop?” Matt asks

“Yes of course we can” I say before sitting back on the bed before Matt pushes me onto my back, sitting on top of me.

He kisses my lips, softly, before it turns into another rough makeout.

“Feel how hard you make me” Matt whispers into my ear

Matt places his full-hard cock onto my thigh so I could feel how hard he was

Matt takes mine and his shirt off kissing all over my stomach

“God” Matt groans “You’re so beautiful.” He says before placing himself in between my thighs

“Can I take off your shorts and panties, beautiful?” He ask “Yes, please.

Matt wasted no time before he was taking off my shorts and panties, diving straight into my pussy. I moan as his tongue flicks my clit. My hands flying immediately to his hair grabbing it from the pleasure.

Matt, still sucking my clit decides to add three fingers into me. I moan loudly, not expecting it, but liking it bc it felt so good.

“Does it feel good baby?” Matt says. I just whimper hoping he took that has a yes. In which he did

“Matt-FUCK im going to cum” I moan out.

“Go ahead cum for me pretty girl.” Matt says taking his left arm with all the tattoos on it, to toy with my nipples making me moan.

I cum all over Matt’s face moaning loudly.

“God you taste so good” Matt groans

“Are you ready for me to fuck you?”Matt says “Yes please” I practically moan out

Matt laughs before removing all his clothes off. Matt goes to grab a condom from the drawer before I stop him

“You can cum inside me, im on the pill” I say. Matt just laughs before saying “Ok, love” Matt saying spitting into his hand, to lube himself up before he is back hovering above me, before shoving all 9 inches inside me.

I moan loudly, because he’s making me feel so full. “Tell me when to move, love.” Matt says

After a couple of seconds, I moan “You can move.”

Thats all Matt needed to hear before he was thrusting in and out of me, groaning into my ear, as I moan loudly.

“Baby you feel so good. I love you so much and your perfect body.” Matt groans out

“I love you too” I moan out. Before pulling Matt down for a hot makeout as he still thrust in and out of me.

The pleasure was so nice, and I was so surprised we hadn’t done this sooner.

After a few more minutes of Matt thrusting in and out of me I felt myself about to cum for the second time tonight.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum” I say clenching around Matt “ Me too. Go ahead. Cum for me, love” Matt groans

After a couple of seconds I’m cuming all over Matt’s cock.

A few more thrusts and Matt’s cuming inside me plopping next to me.

“That was amazing” I breath out coming down from my high.

“It really was.” Matt says

“ YN i just want you to know I love you so much, and I could careless what your body looks like.” Matt says

“Thank you baby, I love you too.” I say.

Matt puts my head on his chest before breathing out “I really do. I love you so much” Matt says

“ I know” I whisper before pecking his lips, and laying my head back onto his chest before I both fall asleep, in his arms

“How did I get so lucky” Matt says before falling asleep right after me

A/N: pls tell me if this was good bc I feel like this is terrible.

#matt sturniolo #chrissturniolo #nicolassturniolo #mattsturniolosmut #ynsmut

@daddyslilchickenfingers @sturnphilia @strniohoeee

[neteyamsilly]

i hope jake suffers 🙏

ALSO FRUITY READER??? YESS PLSSSS Lo'ak and reader fighting over tsireya and reader pulling the "i literally almost died 🙄" card

IF WERE GOING FOR A KORRA TYPE BEAT THEN I TBH I THINK ROTXO WOULD WORK SO WELL (my boy doesn't get enough love) like ik korra doesn't have a male love interest that balances her out but i feel like Asami is closer to Rotxo than tsireya is? BUT EITHER WAY IT WOULD BE ADORABLE!!!!

they would both be so supportive and loving of reader and be the balance to reader being such a headstrong hardass 🫶

IK THIS ISNT A ROMANCE STORY AND THERE PROBABLY WONT BE MUCH ROMANCE BUT I CAN FANTASIZE 🙏🙏 i just love talking about different possibilities and sceneries<333

i'm still rooting for yom'tsyeyk (eat jake😍) !! the ikran tbh i feel like would be sassy, trying to steal readers attention at all times and being spiffy towards Jake and anyone who's bothering reader "don't look her in the eyes" type beat like Neytiri and Seze 😭

frothing at the mouth waiting for the soft and loving moments between jake and reader.

( I WANTED TO ADD A PICTURE HERE BUT IT DOESNR LET ME DO THAT WHEN ANONYMOUS😭)

we need some more mom!neytiri moments up in here (my mommy issues are horrendous) and some loving sibling moments (i also have horrible siblings anxiety)

I WOULD GIVE YOU MY FIRST BORN CHILD😍😍🙏🙏

no pressure tho, this is ur story and tbh id love anything you do

and i totally get what u said about the siblings and i love where you’re going with it, i didn’t think abt them recognizing jake changing and stuff, i just wanted to know how you’d go down that path😮

also i think i have another ear infection cause it started feeling painfully itchy and when i went to scratch it there was blood on my finger 😕let's hope my dad doesn't go all Jake again🙏

ANYWAYS

luv u pook, stay hydrated and eat fruits and veggies (god knows i don't) sleep well and take care of urself<333

-🫀

LISTEN, IDK IF YOU KNOW HANGOVER MOVIES BUT THERE'S THIS PART:

THIS IS GOING TO BE SISTER!READER AND HER SIBLINGS FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE SSDJSKJDS every argument won by "but did you die?" and gaslighting others' problems. stay toxic girlboss

Also like i love soft, idiot, sweet himbos for intimidating girls so rotxo is a wonderful choice, but I also love enemies to lovers so aonung is a choice too. BUT I ALSO LOVE ANGRY INTIMIDATING GIRLS WHO JUST ARE GOOFY TO MELT IN FRONT OF BEAUTIFUL SWEET ANGEL GIRLS .

i cannot . take romance for this series off my hands i'll ruin everything

also like when i put lo'ak into the equation you know sister!reader would have a tragic unrequited love for tsireya she gives up on because tsireya is so good for lo'ak and he's having an incredibly hard time on awa'atlu and she wants him to be happy. she'd walk away. someone stop me. no im not doing romance

"frothing at the mouth for soft moments between reader and jake" HOPE YOU WERE HAPPY (for a while) IN THIS CHAPTER THEN HAHAHAHAH

ALSO ANOTHER EAR INFECTION????? please get that checked out and dont let it get worse this time FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

LOVE YOU, WILL BE AWAITING GOOD NEWS FOR THE EAR!

[tonberry-yoda]

it is midnight and that means its saturday so i am here for my matchup 🤭 in all honesty i have been wanting to request one from u for so long bc i love the way u write your matchups loll, but ANYWAYS! could i pls get a haikyuu matchup? i go by she/her, im straight nd i’d like a romantic matchup 🫡 so im like 5’2 i think, dyed black hair (goes a bit past my shoulders and my natural color is brown), brown eyes, and i have a lot of freckles on my face. i have my septum and both sides of my nose pierced along with a few ear piercings.im an ambivert so how i act definitely depends on the environment im in but with the right people im very outgoing (very chatty lol). but my social battery also gets drained v fast so after big social gatherings i need some time to recover (usually recovering = taking a long nap). i get really snappy if i my social battery is drained so the whole recovery thing is v important lmao. i am also a very sleepy person, my friends like to joke that im chronically tired lmfao, i take naps almost every day and if im in a car, sitting down in class or doing something like that i probably will fall asleep. i cannot control it T_T i also trip, run into things, drop things, etc. all the time. my house could be dead silent and then out of nowhere u just hear a crash and “what the fuck” yea thats me sorry 🤫🤫 i also like to tease ppl a lot, not in a flirty way more like in a provoking way (i cant flirt i have 0 rizz). moving on!! some things i look for in a relationship r someone who can be patient with me and dont mind reassuring (if they do it without me asking its 100x better). i love when show theyre thinking abt me through little things like “oh i was at the store and i saw your fav candy so i picked it up” or “i saw your favorite flowers on my walk home and thought of you” id cry. also someone who isnt afraid to show they care (not in a sense of like pda but moreso they arent too prideful to do dumb stuff like dance with u at 2 am in the kitchen). anyways my type! they dont have to be like 7ft tall but maybe 5’9 or 5’10 +. i like funny guys but not funny at the expense of others. i also really like guys that are able to actually respect me as a person. i pride myself on being really smart and mature (when i need to be lol) and i genuinely would not be able to stand someone that saw me as any less than that. OK MOVING ON! hobbies/ interests! i love music. so much. music is my creative outlet and how i express myself. i annotate song lyrics. i connect with music through personal experience its just so so important to me. i am learning how to play the electric guitar so i can connect with it even more. my favorite artists rn are the 1975, mitski, ptv and sleeping with sirens:p although im always open to expanding my music taste!! i also like to play some video games(obsessed with animal crossing lately lol). aand my love language is words of affirmation. sorry if this is really long T_T and if you dont get to this no biggy but if you do tsym!<3

WHEN I TELL YOU THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD THIS MORNING LMFAOOOOO. and that little note at the beginning is so sweet! i am so glad i am able to do a matchup for you anon!! okay, so i have a perfect little dude for you, but it may be random so bear with me. i love this man, so i hope you do too!

the character I chose for you is...

KEISHIN UKAI!!!

OKAY

HEAR ME OUT!

ukai is flippin hot

i would love to be in your shoes

(he's my fav haikyuu character besides tanaka, so you're lucky frrr)

he would love your piercings

he's a piercing fella himself (he's what made me want to get my second ear piercings lmfaoooo)

like he thinks it's high key hot

he's also an ambrivert, so both of your personalities match up really well

he is totally understanding of your drained social battery (plus, he gets the same way) so he'll just let you nap while he works or leave you alone if needed

WILL 100% TAKE NAPS WITH YOU

like will hold you in his arms and nap a whole day away when he gets the day off

you will always knock over things in his shop and he'll just laugh or wait for you to pick it up while dead staring at you lmfaoooo

he'll definitely know if you walk in when he hears a whole ass display get knocked over

he thinks it's cute when you tease him even if you say it isnt about flirting, his dumbass thinks it is which is fine by you so you can tease him more often

the real reason i picked this guy is because of what you said about him bringing you things that made him think of you

like this man will roll up with a chocolate bar and shove it in your hand with a pile of chips shoved in his mouth and say "I thought of you today at the store and grabbed this"

he doesnt see it as much, but you are over the moon about it

when he finds out about how much you love it, he will keep doing it

he is very patient and caring for you and literally only has eyes for you

he also always gets you to laugh, which always makes his day

please play music for him

he will have heart shaped eyes if you do

he will 100% play videogames with you, but you have to teach him how to play half of the time lmfaoooo

he will always tell you how much he loves you and how pretty and amazing you are frfr

if you go to any of his practices or games when he is coaching, he will brag about you

(i am so sorry this took so long i forgot it was in my drafts. i hope you love it nonetheless though!!!)

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[artisticmenace]

talking abt my characterrss!! read if you want im just letting it out. might be interesting yknow. if anyone really cares too much. spoilers for the comic im going to make if anyone was really wsnting to read that. probably not but just in case yk

Starting off with my two boys from Those Days(and other characters)

Scott: so he was supposed to look like this one guy i kept seeing on pinterest and also jareth the goblin king a little bit but because of the time its set in(and also the fact that his dad is initially thought to be a homophobe) he cant be as flashy. he ended up looking more like inigo montoya.... but i kept his purple crystal earing as a token of his gay witchy king design history. he himself is meant to act a little homophobic despite coming out as a bisexual late into the plot so his design fits. he does wear makeup though. smudgy eye makup done in dark eyeshadow in fact. after the gay subplot and main plot come to a collision he'll get witchier. post high-school i think he and rodney will end up getting fashionable. hes also meant to be a touch self centered. he idolizes his dad to the point he feels he cant be "soft" at all. his dad doesnt care though. he keeps this tough guy routine to the point of not being emotionally mature enough to comfort people that well. scotts fighting habits will kick him in the ass. design wise i need to change his style of clothing a little bit because i think i want this to take place in the 80s.

Rodney: rodney is based on this one guy i had a dream about, and probably all the fanart I've seen of martin from tma. he was originally going to have the same haircut as scott and be thinner, but neither of those design choices were fun, and i wanted to make a short chubby nervous guy instead. his internalized homophobic crime is "my mom is a dyke but because people think that will make me gay i cant possibly be gay because i want to be not like my mom because her gfs are all terrible and" well he might trauma dump a little after that. rodney never met his dad but because of that he had to endure lots of terrible 'stepmoms'(his mom never married them) and they would steal from her and he would get blamed and boom bam child abuse. a lot of people say he turned out better than expected, and he really hates thinking of what he could've done. despite being a great baseball player, he is relentlessly bullied for having a lesbian mom. no one knows exactly who found this out or how. he is equally as much muscle as he is fat, and he's quite strong. unfortunately, he'd rather take the hit than fight back for fear of punishment, not so much from the school but from his mom. scott eventually finds out about Rodney's constant mistreatment, and that's when he decides to let rodney stay with him a while(around their second year of knowing each other). Mr. Haverford just accepts that rodney lives there now as hes super respectful and doesnt say much.

Lucy Campbell: her design should really tell the reader where they are because shes 80s as hell. shes scotts ex. shes kind of a dumb person in general but she knows how to influence people. i dont know how or if ill ever introduce her but she does tattoos and piercings at her house which is by a convenience store named "Myrtle's". Scott goes there sometimes. he doesnt like her anymore and she doesnt like men anymore so they just sit around and smoke. sometimes they drink and talk about life.

Susie Marshall: shes a nice person. she tutors lots of kids including Scott. scott and rodney stop going to her house after scotts dad says susies dad is a really good aim and might shoot them even if they're just there to talk about school. shes pressured into a very isolated and tidy lifestyle by her parents and doesnt really enjoy living.

[liquidstar]

hi this is evilmario666 anon. im ok now and i realized that despite the misogyny that does exist on account of genre and perspective re:zero actually understands the subaru archetype of guy very well and i was jumping to conclusions too quickly based on what i was seeing. it was impolite and unfair of me and id like to apologize both to re;zero and you, i am no longer on the verge of a blood rage. thanks once more because i am genuinely having a ball of a time . lost track of arc numbers but im on the one where subaru accidentally SPOILERS kills emilia becaus he tries to reveal return by death

NO YEA ANON ITS OK sorry i didnt respond to ur first ask last night i was too tired to read long things lol

but i TOTALLY get how you feel like subaru early on legit annoyed me with his behavior, and it was completely intentional. not that he didnt have his endearing traits, i think the first thing that made me really like him was the fact that he got to know the names of the village kids and legit cared about them a lot because before getting to know them he just considered them and everyone around him as "npcs", and the village kids in particular arent "important" characters. (also dont take all of what im about to say as subaru hate, having read most of the story now i legit love the guy but im just talking abt his portrayal in the show in the early arcs)

basically arc 1 just served to introduce us to characters and concepts so there wasnt all too much of an arc there, subaru is dense as hell so he still came out of all that thinking he was gonna get his Isekai Harem Fantasy and so when he arrived at the mansion in arc 2 he literally treated all the characters like tropes (even before that though he would assume emilia's behavior based on what the tropey response would be). he just didnt see any of them as people and thats where a lot of the conflict came from, in order to overcome in that arc he had to actually befriend both rem and ram in a way that actually mattered, and he really did start to care about them as people and we know that because of the story he tells ram about the ogres.

arc 3 though addresses his mindset about this hero fantasy he has a lot more bluntly, because while he may have grown some in arc 2, he still has a huge martyr complex and places emilia into this role where he gets to be her hero even though she didnt ask for that, and their fight about it is simultaneously really satisfying to see him called out, and hard to watch because hes being such a child about it, hes so incredibly entitled to her at this point. the show luckily frames him as completely in the wrong and shows us the nastiest parts of this mindset in him. one of my favorite scenes in this arc is the one where he accidentally kills her, but just before that. when he rushes into the room and yells at her about how shes useless and unable to save anyone and we focus on her face, and she just says "why are you crying?" and the cut zooms into her eye to reveal that he was staring at his own reflection in it, he was talking to himself. that just perfectly describes what she is to him at that point- a beacon to project all his insecurity and doubt. re:zero loves using those eye-reflection shots, and i love seeing them because my absolute favorite theme in the story is "self-recognition through the other"

subaru does legitimately learn and become better, he acknowledges how shitty hes been in his convo with rem and it gets turned into a really sweet moment between the two of them, and it gets memed a lot but "i love emilia" is honestly a really good line because its in that moment that he stops trying to either run away or project and face his feelings genuinely in a way that doesnt throw her under the bus. by the time arc 4 rolls around hes so much more likable, and his dynamic and relationship with emilia becomes honestly really cute, the way they talk is sort of dorky and charming (spoilers, but even when they have another argument that calls back to the one they had in arc 3, you feel its coming from a legit place now, and when he kisses her he does so only after getting explicit consent and telling her its okay to dodge). hes so much more sympathetic and you really root for him. i loved the choice to not show any of his backstory until arc 4, the point where youre supposed to be on his side completely.

all that being said though its NOT a series i think is perfect nor do i think its super feminist, i just think its a good deconstruction of these isekai tropes and calls them out in a blunt way that i enjoy seeing. there are lots of things about it that i dont like too though, some of the character designs sort of bother me and seem antithetical to this, part of that is that the writer and character designer are different people but it still passed. but i still enjoy the story and characters enough that it doesnt totally sully my enjoyment of it (some are more egregious than others tho). at the end of the day im so along for this whole ride, i love the way it explores its themes, again especially the whole "self-recognition through the other" thing but also suicidal ideation and of course the deconstruction of what the isekai genre has become.

TL;DR: the series perfectly understands the type of nerdboy that watches isekai anime and wants to be sent to another world just like their favorite blank-slate nerdy protagonist and it directly calls them out, saying "no. youre not gonna be an OP hero who saves the day and gets all the bitches with that fucking attitude. youre not gonna be able to escape your insecurities via this escapism, you treat the women around you like trash, youre not entitled to any of this, youre just pathetic." and though subaru is a character that gets better many of the viewers of the series straight up plugged their ears to its themes so they can jack off to rem lol.

[yelenasdog]

heavy is the head that wears the crown (mob!arvin russell x fem! pastor’s daughter! reader)

genre: angst+fluff

summary: arvin had always heard the saying “heavy is the head that wears the crown” but never truly understood what it meant. not until now

words: 4.06k

warnings: since this is based off of a tdatt, family death, mentions of death, mentions of mobs, kissing, marriage, murder, smoking, suicide, cancer and i think that’s it. it’s also kinda melodramatic, and i haven’t watched tdalt in a while so a lot could be plot inaccurate also idk anything abt the mob or mafia so like dont k*ll me thx i just like joe pesci

a/n: first, i owe the amazing concept of mob!arv to @kelieah ! so go follow her for more mob!arvin goodness!! basically i’m obsessed w 90s mob movies and watched goodfellas and casino and few too many times lately and oops here we r! i tried to write this from the narrator in tdatt’s view, so if u wanna read it like that then cool! btw the pic w the dress is just an idea of the dress reader is wearing not what she looks like! ok enjoy i’ll stop rambling

·。·。·。

“So, Arvin. I was told you paint houses? That true?”

Arvin hesitated, opening his mouth and closing it again. He wasn’t a painter, no, he killed people. For a price, that is.

But rather than saying no, the jab in his side from his uncle told him to answer otherwise.

“Yes, sir. It is.”

The Pastor nodded, taking a drag from his cigar, imported all the way from Cuba. He then placed what was left of the long stick in the crystal tray in front of him, the tapping of it on the reflective surface seeming almost deafening.

“Can all your family be traced down to one place, son?”

Arvin gulped, avoiding his eyes, darting his own around the heavily decorated room. Another jab to his side. He winced, meeting the older man’s eyes. He may not know much about the life he was about to enter, but he knew enough about what that meant.

“Yes, sir. They can be, minus my father and my mother. They’re gone.”

Not even a full beat of silence later, the Pastor spoke.

“How’d he die?”

Arvin was taken aback, though he knew that question was coming. His jaw clenched, as did his fist by his side. If the Pastor noticed, he didn’t speak on it, barely lifting his eyes from the document resting on his desk.

“Suicide, after the war.”

“And your mother?”

He took his lip in between his teeth, feeling the skin break, the tears well in his eyes for reasons he would excuse as the pain he was inflicting.

“Cancer. It happened when I was young, I didn’t barely even know her.”

The pastor looked up, slimming his eyes. This time he did notice the glimmering droplets, welling up in his chestnut colored eyes, threatening to fall. He appreciated the boy’s attempt to keep his emotions in check in front of his would be superior, leaning back into his chair.

“It’s alright, boy. You’re allowed to cry, it was your mother.” His southern accent was thick like molasses, his words drawing out. Arvin still felt that it wasn’t acceptable, though, so he only sniffled and directed his chin further up towards the ceiling. He stood there for a while, nerves running through his every cell. It was electric, like white lighting making its way through his veins at a painstakingly slow pace.

“Right then.”

The pastor stood, walking towards Arvin and his uncle. His expensive loafers tapped along the cold floor as he went, the sound pestering to the ears of Arvin, taunting him. He reached a soft hand out, which the boy standing opposite to him gladly took. He observed how the Pastor’s hand was without scars, calluses. Anything that would point to evidence of him being a killer, doing his own dirty work (or “the Lord’s work” as he liked to put it).

“Welcome to the family, son.”

And as Arvin smiled widely and shook his hand with an iron grip, he began to wonder what his new life would entail doing the “Lord’s work”.

He thought he had a pretty good idea, but boy, was he wrong.

“So, how’d it go?”

It was later, and Arvin was sitting with one his most favorite people, Y/n. The pair were resting in an open field, the wildflowers around her just almost competing with the beauty she held. He bashfully looked to the dirt under his shoes, noticing how only inches away, her hands picked at the damp grass.

“Went well, I think. He told me I’m ‘part of the family now’.”

She smiled at him, and in that moment with her hair so widely astray, and wearing that pale blue dress he adored so much, Arvin’s heart felt a certain emotion he hadn’t necessarily felt for someone at this multitude before. He had felt it for Lenora, his mother, his aunt and uncle. But it was different, then. Because now as he sat with her by his side, his love for her was realized at its full potential.

She began to ramble on, congratulating him on becoming a member of her father’s so called “family”, telling him how proud she was. He couldn’t keep focused on the sweet words that were falling from her lips like honey, though, as he was too caught up in his own head, his own thoughts.

“Arv?” She asked, voice laced with slight concern, but mostly with curiosity.

“Sorry, darlin’. Just thinking.”

She blushes, it’s the first time he’s called her that before. She tries to carry on conversation, though with her heart beating through that pretty dress of her’s, it was a bit difficult.

“About what?” She questioned, doing her very best not to pry too far, to be invasive in the very reserved Arvin’s mind.

Truthfully? He was promising himself that he would marry her one day, make her his wife. But telling her that he was only thinking “‘bout the future” would have to do. I mean, truthfully, he really was!

So he answered her, and she was content with said answer, abandoning the subject and returning to many praises for Arv. The standards for the “family” were high, and though she believed in him fiercely, she knew that at his core Arvin was the sweetest soul she’d ever met, and she was skeptical he could put that aside to do whatever the job would require.

“Arvin?”

He looked up, and she nearly lost her breath. It was Arvin’s sunkissed skin, tanned from working under the hot sun, the beams beating down on him. Or perhaps it was the freckles that lightly dusted his crooked nose, like a constellation from the cosmos above. Maybe even it was the mop that sat on his head, the color all the same of those sweet brown eyes of his. Whatever it was, she felt it could only mean one thing.

Y/n Y/l/n was confident she loved Arvin Russell.

“Hmm?” He asked, tilting his head like a confused canine. Adorably endearing, she thought.

And though she had much to say, she was afraid that if he were the dog in question, then the puppy had got her tongue, so to say.

“Y/n/n?” The boy said, nudging her with his elbow, making a melodious giggle erupt from her chest. “What, cat got your tongue?” Arvin teased, and she only shook her head and smiled, as he had no idea how correct he really was.

“You could say that.”

The two shared laughs over the exchange, and at some point (neither of them are quite sure when, how, or who leaned in first), their lips connected in a short and sweet kiss. It seemed that it only lasted for a moment, and as soon as they pulled apart, Arvin and Y/n both were dying for more.

But they resisted, Arvin reaching out a cautious hand to entangle with hers. She bashfully grinned, as did he (though he did his best to resist).

“Y/n, I really like you.” He had said, his thumb running small circles upon her skin. “And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you like me too.”  He laughed, nervous notes to the sound.

“And well, I was wondering if you’d like to be my girlfr-”

And with a light groan, Y/n had wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing both of them to the ground. She connected their lips, the kiss so oddly blunt, an attack on his lips that he had no plan of fighting off. His hands found her hair, and her’s moved to the sides of his face, holding him so tightly, as if she was afraid he would let go.

“Yes.” She pulled away panting, her lips swollen, his flushed. “Yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend, Arvin.”

They smiled as bright as the setting sun above them, and Arvin pulled her close as she buried her face in the warm crook of his neck. They stayed like that ‘till the sun went down and the stars came out of hiding, the cool summer breeze blowing around them. They both still felt it, then, the love they had only just began to realize was there. And they would continue to feel it for years to come.

Like when Arvin would get back from a job, sometimes with blood splattered on his crisp white shirts, his dirty work getting, well, dirty. She would slowly peel it from his body, taking care to make sure he wasn’t hurt. She would do her best to wash the crimson stains from the fabric, sighing if it was seeming to be of no use. Arvin would come up behind her where she was working at the sink, wrapping his strong arms around her middle and resting his head on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Arv,” she would start, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face, “damn thing won’t budge.” Arvin would just chuckle, reaching up a gentle hand, gentle only for her, to tuck the hair behind her ear, quietly speaking.

“Well I think it looks pretty good, darlin’. It’ll do just fine.” He would spin her around to face him, and pepper small kisses on her skin, smiling at her reaction. And if he was hurt, she would take care to use a warm washcloth, wiping the scarlet splatters from his creamy complexion. 

The juxtaposition of the shades was always bewildering for her, oddly beautiful in a way. She never said so, though, only muttering praises of how proud she was, how strong he is, things like that. And Arvin would watch her, honey colored eyes following her as she moved about to fix him right up. No pain would have any real effect on him, not when she was there to reassure him, make him whole again.

As Arvin moved up in their small town world, in the “family”, he remained just as kind, just as gentle. Nothing really changed, no, only the lines on his forehead deepening and the crows feet becoming darker when he smiled; And Y/n’s role, as well. She stopped cleaning him up, stopped trying to rid his shirts of bloody reminders of his living. Arvin seemed to no longer be “painting walls’, but rather making sure jobs were done, everyone was staying in their places.

And things led to another, and all of a sudden Y/n and Arvin were moving into a big house, bigger than Arvin had ever even been in before. Deals and arrangements were made, settlements too.

One regular Tuesday, Arvin came home from what Y/n could tell had been a long, long, day. He was exhausted, but had this unmistakable look of excitement and joy plastered to his face. He had come in bursting through the door, not even taking off his hat or overcoat before making his way over to Y/n and kissing her silly.

“Well hello to you, too, Arv.” She laughed, amusement and curiosity both equally swirling around in her brain, wondering what could possibly have inspired this behavior.

“Things are happening, sweetheart, good, good things.” He took her hands in his, briefly shaking them before planting a kiss to them and walking away, a big smile on his face. And truth be told, not that she would admit it, it scared the Hell outta her. She wasn’t quite sure as to why, but something was itching at her brain, warning her that whatever was brewing wasn't a good thing. But nevertheless, she maintained her grin, painted lips never faltering.

The next day, when the “good things” were supposed to be happening, Arvin was seriously wondering why on God’s green Earth he had expected this to be easy.

“Come again, son?”

Arvin swallowed, shifting on his feet. He mentally scolded himself for ending up in this position again, standing in front of the Pastor’s desk, all kinds of confused. But it had to be this way, it was for the best, he knew. The sun shone through the window above the desk in front of him, right into his eyes, nearly blinding him. The Pastor didn’t really care, though.

“I’m asking for your blessing to ask Y/n’s hand in marriage, sir.”

The older man slowly nodded in understanding, taking a long drag from the expensive cigar between his fat fingers, the gold ring on his pinky also shining brightly under the harsh sun’s light.

“I just thought that after our arrangement-”

“Arvin, I don’t regret making you an heir, I don’t.” He stated, blowing out a long stream of smoke. “Hell, I can feel something big and bad coming, boy, you understand? I know God’s will is holding out on us, on this family. But it’s running thin.”

The young man clenched his jaw, internally cringing on what that might mean to the family, for the family, what it meant for Y/n. He bit his tongue, feeling the iron seep onto his taste buds.

“And I know those damn Teagardins are plotting, they’re plotting for our downfall. Making you next in line is something they won’t see coming, and I trust it’ll stay that way. But I don’t quite understand

“Well I love your daughter, I love her so much that it hurts. And if worst comes to worst…” he stopped, his bottom lip wavering for a moment, trying to carefully dance around the different outcomes of this conversation. “I feel I’ll be better able to protect her if we’re married, if she’s truly mine.” That part might have been a lie. Y/n has never been his, never would be. She was her own person, outside Arvin, outside the family. It was what he loved about her above all else.

The Pastor was quiet for a moment contemplating his response, calculating it.

“Would you die for her?”

“Yes.” The answer came without thought, it was automatic for Arvin.

The Pastor smiled widely, lifting his arms.

“So, when’s the wedding, Arv?

Turns out, it was exactly a year, a month, and 6 days until Y/n and Arvin would tie the knot. Arvin had spent time, waiting to find the perfect moment to ask her the big question. He had decided on a night where the moon was bright and the sky was clear. They sat together in what they had donned “their” field, the greenery around them rustling in the wind. Though he was nervous, he had delivered a stunning speech that had taken poor Y/n’s heart by force. It ended up with both of them crying like babies and a shiny ring on Y/n’s finger.

The wedding itself had taken place on a beautiful summer’s day, and Y/n had worn a pretty white dress that had made Arvin almost faint when he saw her, standing there on her father’s arm. She was all decked out in the most expensive diamonds and pearls, courtesy of her father, making her shine like a crystal of sorts.

It was the best night of her life, Arv’s too. But the joy they had felt must have an inevitable end, as the worst night (Arvin’s too) was soon to follow.

It had been an ambush, the death of the Y/l/n family. The death toll had managed to wrack up every member immediate member of the esteemed mob family, including the Pastor, his wife, and their two sons. A bomb planted in the trunk of their Cadillac that had gone off, placed there by who knows. 

When Arvin had heard, his immediate reaction was to thank God that Y/n had decided to stay with him that day, to go lay in the fields just the two of them. Immediately after she had been told, she had fallen into Arvin, her entire body weight being put into his arms. Sobs wracked through her frame, her tears dampening Arvin’s yellow button up.

Once she had “come to”, Y/n had grown to be furious rather than sad. As when you look at the lineage of her family, look at the ranks of the mob and who’s to rise to power when the one in front of them dies, well Arvin was right after Y/n’s big brother, Jamie.

And Y/n had loved her big brother, she had loved him very much and would like to believe that Arvin, her sweet, sweet Arvin, would never do anything of that multitude just to satiate his hunger and appetite for power. The hunger for power she wasn’t even aware he possessed. But how in the Hell was she even supposed to be sure?

“I want to believe you, Arv, I do. But I can’t! It don’t make any damn sense, Arvin!”

“You really think that low of me, Y/n/n?”

Y/n had been shouting, trying to confront him for a crime he hadn’t committed. But Arvin was calm as he spoke, his eyes only watering and his voice only bordering on wavering. Y/n reached a trembling hand to her scalp, pulling lightly on her roots. The tears slipping down her face were hot and salty and she hated it so much.

“What else am I supposed to think?” She lifted an arm, sniffling before putting her other one on her waist, the blue of her dress, the same dress Arvin adored so much, just barely matching what was to become of her mood. She was started to regress, the red hot anger from before transforming to a stormy blue of unsure waters.

“My whole family is dead, and it just so happened that you asked me to stay with you the day they died! My whole family is dead!” She screamed, her voice a crescendo of sorts. “And everyone is clean, Arv, except you. You got the motive, you got the alibi, I’ll give you that much.” She paused, briefly wiping her nose and looking to the blank wall to the left of her father’s office. “It’s funny;” she dryly chuckled, and Arvin looked up.

“You went from doing my daddy’s dirty work to gettin’ some poor bastard to do your own. Ironic isn’t it?”  

Arvin stepped towards her, pain twisting his insides up to see his best girl afraid of him, cowering away from his touch.

“You still have me, Y/n. I’m your family.”

She looked to her feet and back to him, shaking her head.

“No, Arv. You’re not. And you will be sorry for what you did to him, to all of them. You will be.” She said, walking away with her heels clicking heavily on the wooden floors. Arvin stood still for a while, not quite sure where to go next. But it dawned on him as the stained glass shone down on his feet in the most poetic manner, that he was already there.

So he dragged his feet along with him, breaths ragged and short, his head slowly tilting up towards the glorious light. He only had to go a few feet, before he sat down in the old leather chair, the only emotions he felt being those of an imposter. He thought back to all the nervous conversations he’d had with the pastor while he was sitting in that chair, a trembling Arvin usually standing opposite, awaiting instruction.

He darted his eyes across the mahogany surface in front of him, looking at all the various things that he only could associate with Y/n’s father. His valued cigar box, the crystalline tray that rested next to it. (He swore he could still smell the fresh smoke, wafting from the little dish.) He opened it, the latch clinking before his hand reached in and his fingers clasped around one of the thick rolls of tobacco. Before he could light it, he felt overwhelmed all of a sudden, and dropped it back into the box, slamming the lid.

He laid back, resting his weary head. Arvin took a deep breath through his nose, exhaling through his mouth, before falling into a not so peaceful slumber.

He was only woken minutes later, Joseph, Y/n’s uncle, wanting to know if Arvin had seen her lately. He shook his head, muttering an annoyed “No”. Joseph got the idea relatively quickly, exiting the room. He heard the chapel’s doors close, taking that as his queue to leave once he saw the time. So he grabbed his hat and his coat, leaving the office and making his way through the dimly lit space. His attention was caught, though, by the cross by the front pews, so beautifully shining. Arvin put down his things, and walked over to the pew, sitting down on the uncomfortable hardwood. He bowed his head, putting his interlocked fingers utop the surface in front of him.

He hadn’t done this in awhile, this whole praying thing. It seemed naive in his way of life, with the things that happened around him, the people lost. But nonetheless, if ever, now was a good time to try.

“Heavenly Father, I, I, uh, I need to talk to you. To, uh, set the record straight.” His hands were sweaty, tears welling in his eyes.

“Y/n, she’s- well she’s the love of my life, God, and I don’t think she loves me anymore. Hell, she wants me dead. But I don’t blame her, I couldn’t ever. Not after...” he paused, his bottom lip shaking, “Not if she thinks I killed her family. But I didn’t, Father, I didn’t and I could never. But she don’t see that. I need her to see that.” He raised his voice, the bitter droplets rolling down his reddened cheeks, hitting his shoes.

“I can’t live without her, I won’t. So I guess I’m askin’ you a favor, Lord. Just… let her know I didn’t do it, that I would never hurt her.” His voice cracked, his words barely audible, not that whoever was listening cared.

“That I love her so much.”

Arvin muttered something of an “Amen”, and then just sat there for he wasn’t sure how long. His silence was interrupted by a mellow and raw voice, cutting through the silence like the sharpest dagger.

“It was the Teagardin family. I just found out.”

Arvin stood and turned so fast he dizzied himself, having to hold onto the back of the pew for stability. His bottom lip quivered, his flushed features gaining a confused look.

“Y/n/n? How long you been there?” He questioned, not bothering to wipe his eyes. She shifted from one foot to the other, fumbling with her hands.

“Long enough.”

There was a mutual understanding at her few words from the two of them, and an apology within them all the same. Her eyes were bloodshot, her nose runny and her overall appearance disheveled. Despite that, just the fact that she was there, to him, made her the most beautiful girl in the world. 

Arvin could tell she was holding herself back, her emotions, too, as she started to speak, barely able to get through a sentence as she rambled about how she shouldn’t have assumed things, and that it wasn’t right of her to accuse her beloved of something so dire. But none of it mattered to Arvin as he strode towards her, her words only ceasing when he finally wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m so sorry, Arv.” She sobbed, gripping onto him for dear life. That was all she said, repeating it over and over again with the exception of “I love you” also being reiterated. 

Her husband spoke over her hushed tone, saying “It’s alright, doll, I know. You were right to think that, it’s not your fault. It was never your fault.” They continued that way for some time until they both regained their bearings, Arvin wrapping an arm around her shoulders and walking down the front stairs of the chapel. 

“Let’s go home, sweet girl.” He had said, so they did. Arvin kissed the side of her head, regarding once more how he loved her, before starting the ride home, his hand on her thigh the whole time, not wanting to let her go for even a second.

His mind was plagued with thoughts of the past, and he remembered an old saying he had heard long ago. What was it? Ah, you know what they say.

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

·。·。·。

how we feeling folks did we like? gimme feedback if u wanna! mwah love u, take care of urself

 xx hj

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going!  Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~ 

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”.  he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well”  while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school. 

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

[vancilocs]

Is kabal and zephi on the table 👀 just dont answer what doesnt apply aaand colm and naomi?

they have a Thing going on

Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

They both think the other is the reckless one! But not getting in trouble, just being careless. Kabal would always like to make sure Zephi gets home safe and Zephi makes Kabal promise he drives safely

Colm doesn't think there's anything reckless about Naomi going into the forest during new moon, his mom disagrees

Who's the one to send the other "I love my gf/bf" memes

Kabal sends memes appreciating rude and powerful women who kick him in the nuts

If they had phones, Naomi more

Who's the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn't like and how does the other react

Kabal is dad rock 100% and that's his playlist when on roadtrips, Zephi is welcome to suggest other songs or even make her own roadtrip playlist if she wants to, but please don't be rude abt his taste in music

They'd both listen to folk rock sampled with mushroom growth sounds and throat singing

How one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love

Not really? Zephi spoils Kabal by letting him stay at her place for a night or two, he spoils her by giving her flowers sometimes

Colm spoils Naomi by giving her extra affection, Naomi spoils Colm by letting him be by himself sometimes (but makes sure solitude doesn't drive him into a worse headspace)

How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

They haven't even discussed being serious yet, marriage isn't a big thing for either so like. It's whatever

Weddings and marriage aren't really a big thing in the clan, people just end up together and move in together and have kids without there necessarily being a ceremony (more like just a bonfire party). They just... became an item.

Are their friends/family supportive

Yeah... mostly. Mehara is fine with Zephi, Hafza is happy for her dad, Gabriel is pleased Zephi might have found someone fun. Herah is still very dubious but also doesn't want to interfere too much, Zephi is a grown woman who can do her own decisions

Very much so, Mahran is so happy to see Colm happy and she also very much likes Naomi. Myra couldn't be more pleased, Kaede is glad and Koldun doesn't really care but he's not very close with Colm in the first place

How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

-

Naomi has to be careful because if she spooks Colm when he's agitated he will teleport by accident and she doesn't want him dropping himself off the rooftop again. Just speak to him calmly, give him his own space, reassure him he's safe and at home. If he allows, hold his hand or hug him. If Naomi's crying or otherwise distressed Colm will just hug her and pet her hair until she's okay.

Which one dissociates

-

Colm mainly

Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them

Both honestly and neither really minds? Kabal will just ask if Zephi likes what she sees

Neither much, sometimes it's fun to walk past and give the other's butt a pat just to hear them giggle

When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

More like what does Zephi's place look like, Kabal is practically homeless lmao

Cozy and warm, not too small so it fits their kids later on as well, decorated with dried plants and wreaths and branches etc., a bit messy sometimes but it's very much a home and a very comforting place

What do their dates look like

Grabbing fast food or going to a diner after work at like midnight or 2am, maybe going to a bar for a couple, Kabal being invited to Zephi's place, he brings flowers and gets tied to a chair

Go for a long forest walk, maybe take some food along and have a picnic on a cliff or something, enjoy calm nature, have a snuggle, kiss a little, avoid werewolves,

How does each act when getting drunk

Kabal gets louder and more jovial, careful not to trip all over his long-ass legs

Naomi gets a little giggly and very talkative, will talk your ear off about the stars and bones and how you can see the future if you do this this and this under the full moon. Colm starts sobbing inconsolably

Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to kiss them

Could be a delicate way for Zephi to say you need to leave my apartment

Naomi, but after letting Colm sleep for a while

Have they saved each other's lives before

Nope

Nah

Does one have an interest the other thinks is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Zephi has to introduce Kabal into BDSM delicately so he realizes it's a bit more than just handcuffs

Colm might not quite get Naomi's psychic tendencies but he knows it's important to her and people haven't always believed her about it, so he will listen to whatever she has to say

Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

I don't think Kabal even crops it

-

Does one of them kinkshame the other

Kabal will let Zephi know of his limits but he never shames her

Naomi has no kinks, Colm is ace

Is one of them self-conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

I don't know if either, Zephi is shy but fine about her body in general

Colm has the scar on his belly from that time his dad stabbed him he's uncomfortable about, Naomi just doesn't acknowledge it. He's not super comfortable being undressed anyways so just let him keep his clothes on and he's alright

What song do they listen to while going on a joyride

Kabal has a whole playlist of dad rock and synths for his hours-long drives

What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones?

Relaxing for Kabal at least, excitement for Zephi when he moves on the highway and speeds up

Do people ever get annoyed of their PDA

Herah gets annoyed at Kabal for breathing but otherwise not really? They don't really show it anyways

Never, it's just cute.

Would they live in the city or the country

It's whatever for Kabal. He'd be going on a long ride nowhere anyways

They live a bit outside the village proper, more quiet which they prefer

Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

I don't think so? Zephi is just shy.

Colm is a mess of PTSD and general anxiety, Naomi is just weird otherwise but she's very quiet, calming and comforting so if Colm wants to talk she's always available to listen and if he wants to be alone she'll make sure he's fed/warm/dry at least

Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Inner thighs, neck almost behind the ear, throat when his head is bent back for Kabal

Naomi lives for cheek and forehead kisses (and kisses on the mouth), Colm likes kisses on his head

Do they dance together

They could hit a club, sure. Kabal is not super good at it, but passable

Hum a song and sway together at home, if real happy maybe even do a little dance at a bonfire party

Do they sing together

I could see them (or at least Kabal) belting out a tune in the kitchen or something when there's a good song on the radio

Sometimes, one starts humming and the other one joins

Which one is better at cooking than the other and makes most the dinners

Zephi is probably better, Kabal sustains himself on fast food mainly

They both kinda suck. Colm can grill a pheasant on a firepit but that's about it, and Naomi can chop up a cucumber and put some leaves on top. Mahran teaches them how to make the basic casserole before they starve

Are they a reckless couple or safe

Bordering on reckless?

Very safe

What be they kinks and do they try each other's kinks

Kabal isn't aversed to milfs and femdom but Zephi had him topped (hee hee) with bondage. The rougher stuff he will need to be eased into but he's always open for new experiences

Their kinks are Love and Care and Pants On Hugging

What would be their Valentine's gifts be to each other

A bouquet, some candy and a pack of condoms from Kabal

If they knew what it was, a good dinner and flowers.

Do they get into fights often? If so, what do they fight over and how do they make up?

They're not really in a serious enough relationship to have fights

They don't fight

Which one's top, bottom, verse

Both verses, but when Zephi tops she tops hard

What kinda sex they be having

If Kabal gets to pick, just... regular with a touch of rough. If Zephi gets to pick, he's screaming for mercy by the end

If Colm's ace ass is even in the mood it's lights off shirts on missionary

Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Kabal would get mad if someone insulted Zephi, he wouldn't immediately throw hands but he'd be very vocal like hey, apologize to the lady

Don't get Colm angry the guy knows blood magics he doesn't have full control over

Do they want kids

Naaaaah. Kabal has a grown up daughter whom he adores and who's the light of his life, but he doesn't want more nor does Zephi

Yeah and they have a couple!

[graceedcoup]

So like I was thinking about like... Lilith. Because there's so much to think abt. But like.. the game does complicated shit all the time and I just had this thought come to me of there being a way to open up a channel for a short period of time to give the brothers a chance to say goodbye to her. Maybe MC and Solomon shenanigans idk.

But the catch is they can only do it once, and only one person can be pulled into the medium to speak to her. Most of the brothers start this, kind of bitter, highly emotional arguing over who gets to do it. Belphie, Beel and Lucifer seem like they all have a very good case, but the rest of the brothers don't think thats fair anyway.

It makes everyone high strung as fuck. And Solomon makes the suggestion to let her decide. Hell draw the circle and call her forward, and she can pick who'll she'll escort into the medium to speak with. They all reluctantly agree if not just to stop fighting and the sorcerer sets a time and date.

When the time comes all seven brothers file in, let him and MC prepare the ceremony and watch with hope and baited breath as a shining soul comes into view. Beel is wound up like a coil, every muscle holding potential energy, to do what exactly? Hes not even sure, he can't even be sure hes breathing. Belphie has his eyes open wider than MC has ever seen and they can almost swear theyre sparkling. Asmo let's out a small gasp and Mammon immediately tries to dab his watering eyes as discreetly as he can before he sheds a tear.

Shes really just a blob here, she can't take a form in this plane of existence, but she shimmers and oscillates and glows just a bit brighter when she seems to realize who's around her. She floats slowly around a little bit, as if she's getting her bearings, or maybe taking her time choosing who to reach out to first.

To everyone's surprise she stops in front of Satan. He feels his blood run cold, although hides it behind a well practiced poker face. And then he's not in the room with the circle anymore.

He blinks harshly in an attempt to fight off the brightness of the light suddenly surrounding him and squints a little bit until he can focus on the source of it in front of him. He's alone with Lilith smiling just across from him and he straightens up to make eye contact before he finds... she looks exactly like him. Hes looking into the same green eyes, above the same shaped nose, framed by the same yellow-blonde hair, christ even the bangs fall the same way.. All in a moment he can feel himself start to get angry. No one told him? Of course there weren't cameras around when Lilith was still kicking, and portraits can rarley survive a war of that magnitude. But not one of his brothers could have thought to mention this to him? Were they afraid to? Did they think he didn't deserve to know?? Did they talk about him when he wasn't around? Did they compare him to her silently for millenia?

He feels his anger dissipate as quickly as it built up when he realizes this is not the time for this and relaxes the knit in his brow, taking a breath to greet his sister before she cuts him of with a giggle.

"Are you alright now? I was worried for a moment."

He can only manage to nod and she sighs in relief.

"Satan. I am so happy to finally meet you. Properly, I mean. I've always wanted to have a conversation with you"

"Always? You know about me?"

Her face softens

"I've been watching over my family for, well, almost your whole life. I missed a few years in the beginning there, I'm sorry about that, I was still on Earth. But right after that I watched you grow up," she reaches forward to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear "I am so proud of you. You are such a gentleman, you're so smart and you take care of our brothers. Heaven knows they need it."

He tries not to gape like a fish trying to decide what to say

"Thank you. For your kindness and thank you for watching over us. I cant say I havent wanted to meet you too. I just never thought of it as a possibility. Even when this idea was brought up I came along mostly to see what would happen"

Another smile, this time a bit coy "Just mostly? What was the rest of your motivation?"

The crease between his brows comes back and he takes a few extra moments before deciding he has nothing to lose by being truthful and looking back at her "I wanted to support my family in case something went wrong. And I dont like feeling left out. I wanted to be there when my brothers got closure."

Her smile cracks into a grin. "I wish I could have talked to you sooner, I want to hear all about you," she pauses and her lips press together a bit "I can feel our window closing soon. Will you pass on something for me?"

"Of course."

She steps forward and wraps her arms around him, hugging him tight. He takes a moment to reciprocate and she rests her chin on his shoulder. She doesn't need to stretch to do that, he notes, she stands exactly as tall as he does.

"Please tell them I love them. Tell them I'm watching over them, that I'm never too far away. Tell them they're all I think about. And that I think one day, hopefully eons from now, we'll all be in the same place again."

He nods into her hair. "I will.. I will, thank you"

She breaks away from holding him but keeps her hands on his shoulders. "And please tell my descendent that they need to brush their teeth twice a day. I see them skipping at night. Their dental health is important."

He chuckles and nods again. "I will."

She leans forward, boosts herself up on her toes and plants a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Give them that too. It was wonderful meeting you Satan. Its everything I ever hoped for. Keep taking care of them."

He barley has time to nod before he's blinking back awake in the much dimmer room. 8 pairs of eyes looking at him expectantly. He takes just a moment to get his bearings before standing up and walking right over to Lucifer, pulling him into the same tight hug she gave him before he has a chance to regret it. His older brother stops breathing.

"She wants you to have this. She says she loves you." He can feel himself start to get very overwhelmed and his breathing hiccups before he can compose himself enough to keep talking.

He lets him go and quickly strides out of the room to collect himself, vowing to himself that he'll make sure everyone gets the message in due time. He isn't a coward after all. He just needs some time alone to think for the night.

[headofhelios]

Ok I am a single follower but I like hannibal tv but would enjoy ur movie thoughts I like some of the books too and have been meaning to get around to the movies 😳😳

OKAY I'M EDITING A READMORE ONTO THIS LOL I REALIZED THATS SOMETHING I CAN DO! so now my incredibly waaayyy too long answer abt my thoughts on 2002 will is under there. apologies bc this is less "movie thoughts" and more "2002 movie will thoughts" but well thats how the chips fell

GOD okay sooo for the record i am reading the red dragon book and am like 7 or 8 chapters in and full transparency im not like. enjoying it lol. the book pisses me off with its misogyny (all the women in it are either dead or it feels like you're supposed to think theyre Selfish Bitches or theyre just there for like. bizarre and uncomfortable sexual moments like the guys talking abt that woman in the elevator, or that one part of mrs. leeds diary which is like. i guess could be there to Show Her Humanity or whatever but 1. there are more ways to do that 2. the book doesnt seem particularly concerned with her humanity considering she's barely even given a first name and so far the novel hasnt seemed to disapprove of how will thinks of her as a possession of her husband) and its inconsistency with will's most important character trait or whatever (he's so intensely, extremely empathetic towards EVERYONE, even serial killers, which makes him really good at finding them! and he can never turn this off, to the point where every time he has a conversation with someone, he ends up mimicking the way they talk, even if he tries to stop! but also he never empathizes with the victims or HIS OWN FUCKING WIFE? HELLO? so it really feels less like "extremely strong empathy for everyone that he cant control" and more like "he can empathize with serial killers extremely well and also other people if we want to Make A Point in one scene instead of letting the point show through the whole book") BUT UHHH ANYWAY. MOVIE THOUGHTS. THE MOVIE THOUGHTS YOU ASKED FOR COMING RIGHT UP!

okay this is what i am worried will either 1. draw annoying tv will graham stans to my blog like flies or 2. end with me being hanged in the town square BUT. it must be said. i prefer 2002 red dragon will graham to tv will graham. and quite frankly? so far? i think 2002 red dragon will graham is better than book will graham. i cannot lie.

my reasoning: because 2002 will actually empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss! y'know! like you'd assume someone with constant extreme empathy would! the difference between the first scene with molly in the book vs in the movie are SO striking to me now that i've read that part of the novel. in the novel he seems very... rough, i guess, and like he doesnt care about molly's worries. he doesnt seem to see things from her perspective, which especially feels like a kick to the gut because MOLLY! SEES! THINGS! FROM! HIS! PERSPECTIVE!!! she literally empathizes with him more than he does with her! what the fuck! MEANWHILE in the movie, he does seem to care about her. his assurances that he wont get too involved seem like assurances rather than him trying to get her off his back. he hugs her and tells her he loves her and i actually believe that yeah, he loves her, he knows she's worried about him, and he wants to comfort her and ease her worries. and the victims! AGAIN such a stark difference to me! in the book, will is like... uncomfortable empathizing w the red dragon, of course, but he doesnt seem to empathize with the victims all that much, ESPECIALLY not the women. he doesnt care about them. he sees them as possessions belonging to their husbands and its so fucking gross. despite already suspecting that the red dragon chooses families based on the women, he decides to waste time focusing on the husbands as a way of "asking permission to look at [their wives]." what the fuck? meanwhile in the film, he feels for the victims so much that he can barely even say that the kids were shot in bed! when he watches the tapes, he focuses on the women! because that's his fucking job!!! and we see him empathizing with them! wow!!

siiigh okay im gonna stop talking abt the book vs the movie now bc again im only like 8 chapters or so deep. but now we come to tv will vs. 2002 will, which is admittedly gonna be more subjective and part of that it bc i cant remember a whole lot of specifics from the show bc my memory is Very Bad. but anyway

let's get the shallow stuff out of the way. yes i prefer ed norton's face to hugh dancy's. call hugh dancy "gender" or whatever have your fun i support you and your right to call any blood covered man a gender but by god is that not even REMOTELY my experience. next shallow thing to get out of the way: ed norton's line delivery is like music to my FUCKING ears compared to hugh dancy's i am so sorry. like the jokes about will shaking like a damp chihuahua before taking 5 minutes to stutter out "he's killing them....... On Purpose, jack." are funny and all but christ i had SUCH a hard time watching the show bc of that im not lying. literally hearing 2002 will just say "he's not keeping them. he's eating them." nice and quick, matter of factly is better than well im actually gonna end that sentence there but you get the idea. like YESSS you little blonde bitch get to the point i love you!!!

OKAY NOW less shallow points but also less uhh idk man i just dont remember a lot of hannibal. but basically: after seeing how caring 2002 will is, i'm kind of... idk i'm just so over tv will and how abrasive and harsh he is in comparison. like i fell in LOVE with how vulnerable 2002 will is, how he feels like he cares deeply about the people around him (and honestly... idk i cant remember a moment in the hannibal tv series that made me feel the way i felt when 2002 will can't say "the kids were shot in their beds". it's like... yeah this is a guy who feels so deeply for everyone around him at all times. i believe that.) and i just dont remember getting that same feeling from tv will. i have been gently spoon fed the most excellent chocolate pudding and everything else in my memory is just a snack pack. i guess tv will has those moments (what comes to mind is when he brings gideon to hannibal's house and is crying and he says "please dont lie to me") but idk they just didnt really do for me what 2002 will does. and then their scenes with reba! wow! i rewatched the tv version after watching red dragon, bc the film version made me tear up, meanwhile the tv version i barely remembered and i wasnt sure if that was just bc of the different mindsets i was in while watching them or what. and ok i just rewatched the tv version again and like... yeah. it's the wills lol. i LOVEEE tv reba SO much she is giving everything in that scene!! she sounds so like... broken, both bc of dolarhyde's apparent suicide and bc of finding out who he was + what he was doing, she sounds so fragile and guilt ridden! she's amazing!! but will. idk. tv will's delivery just seems... idk this feels dumb to say but it sounds like writing. i admittedly LOVE the line "people who study this kind of thing say that he was trying to stop because you helped him." and his delivery there is good. but between tv "you didnt draw a freak, you drew a man w a freak on his back" and the 2002 version, the 2002 delivery seems more genuine while the tv delivery sounds rehearsed. idk overall the 2002 version of that conversation just makes me feel more? its like. idk i can feel the 2002 version gently holding my heart while the tv version is a scene that is nice in h/nnigram gifsets or w/e.

umm ok this is already suuuper long and my brain is getting a bit mushy so i'm gonna start wrapping it up lol. i'll probably compare book will and 2002 will again after i finish the book, and then i miiight rewatch hannibal, or at least parts of s3. but right now my thoughts are basically: book will is a fucking dick who has an easier time empathizing with serial killers than with his wife. tv will is a nothing girl after being so completely catered to + also idk he doesnt have the same fragility that i want from my wills now. and 2002 will is my little caramel apple. he has this delightful vulnerability and feels like he cares so much and empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss and 4 people in a diner for one scene! 2002 will made me care about will graham! which is honestly kind of a feat!

[edengarden]

BNHA CONCERT BAND AU BC IM A NERD

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS OR HEADCANONS AKSJHD PLS ASK ME I LOVE BAND I LOVE MUSIC AND I LOVE THIS-

Izuku Midoriya:

Boy definitely plays a wind instrument. I’m assigning him clarinet

Wants to be first chair so bad, he practices so freaking much I swear

ALWAYS. IN. A. BAND. ROOM. with Iida and Uraraka. They’re always practicing

He’s so confused with music theory, please help him. He just,, WHY is it minor?? WHY IS THERE A SOLO WITH NOTHING WRITTEN?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS TO IMPROVISE WITH THE CHORDS WRITTEN OVER THE BARS-

Ochako Uraraka:

ALTO SAXOPHONE-

She’s also comfortable enough to play 2nd or 3rd clarinet if needed, or even soprano saxophone

Doesn’t have her own instrument, she borrows from the school and she HATES the reeds, they’re crap. When someone gives her a good reed, she CHERISHES it.

In jazz band also! With the same instrument, but she doesn’t feel ready for solos so she’s usually 2nd or 3rd. Bro when she has to switch from swing to straight she ALWAYS forgets and it’s the band’s downfall.

Tenya Iida:

TRUMPET TRUMPET TRUMPET TRU-

And he’s one of THOSE trumpet players, by the way.

“Sir the French horns aren’t tuned” yeah, he has perfect pitch

Literally plays flight of the bumblebee as warm up. Or has his own warm up scales. Never practices right before practice though, he thinks it’s “too late” for that

Has his own trumpet, it’s silver with hints of gold/brass. Takes care of it RELIGIOUSLY.

He HATES having to blow out spit onto the floor, but dude what other choice do you have??

Momo Yaoyorozu:

Sweet angel 🥺🥺 she’s an oboe player

Definitely bought her own instrument

Sight reading MASTER. she instantly gets the key bro, it’s so rare that she forgets an incidental

Definitely leads sectionals all the time. And she does it WELL.

When people (*COUGH* BASSES*cough*) slowdown, she’ll sway to the beat in hopes that they’ll follow her

Kyoka Jirou:

Electric bass or contrabass, give her either and she’s good to go dude.

Also has perfect pitch and knows her music theory WAY more than a high school student should know. She’s a genius.

Her warm ups? Jam sessions with Hanta and Todoroki. She just shouts a key and they go. It’s usually jazz, she plays a pretty constant pattern, Todoroki tries to improvise but hanta takes over pretty quick-

Definitely in jazz band as well. Also in a school competition band (like singer and stuff), also a one-woman-band. She’s in so many bands dude.

Shouto Todoroki:

TENOR SAXOPHONE

Also has a background in flute bc his parents wanted him to have ~versatility~

Knows all the theory in his head, like he knows what’s going on, he just doesn’t know how to explain it

*false note* “sorry my instrument isn’t warmed up, it’s probably my reed”

Has plastic reeds. And reeds ESPECIALLY for jazz.

Oh yeah he’s in jazz band! Loves that he’s like, the only tenor saxophone so he gets all the solos

Rikidou Satou:

TUBA PLAYER IN DA HOUUUSSEEE

Buddy actually brings the tuba home to practice, he drags that thing AROUND.

Always. Slows. Down. But no one knows it’s his fault most of the time, they blame Sero-

Firmly believes in the “basses are the foundation of the orchestra” mindset, he’s so proud to be a bass

Kouji Kouda:

Soprano Saxophone, but can also handle clarinet if the need comes (he just loves the sound of soprano sax you guys)

DEFINITELY in jazz band, but as a Tenor Sax 2 bc he knows if he went as a soprano sax he probably would’ve gotten solos

Is it Momo’s oboe?? Is it Kouda’s soprano sax?? No one knows the different except those two and Jirou

Plays Shostakovich’s jazz suite no. 2 as a warm up

DEFINITELY A SWAYER. He just gets into the mood of the music and SWAYS.

Tooru Hagakure:

Flautist!! She chose it as an 11 y/o bc it was a girly instrument but she really likes it lol

A mediocre player, she spends most of warm up with Mina tho, she thinks that she’ll get to warm up when she’s playing bc I mean— no one hears the flutes

Wanted to main the picolo for the sole purpose that it’s an Ear Destroyer. Aizawa heard the mischief in her voice and said no.

Sight reading?? What’s that?? She has no idea what’s going on, she just pretends to play and when she’s comfortable with the melody, she’ll just step in. NEVER notices key changes and signatures.

Yuuga Aoyama:

LASKHDSJ FLAUTIST!! Also clarinetist. He loves being able to stay where he is during practice even though he changes instruments it’s sort of funny

His cheeks get SO SORE when he plays clarinet though and he WILL complain.

“My flute is so heavy!” Kind of guy.

Definitely has his own instruments and takes GREAT care of them.

Wetting his reed with his saliva?? No, he plops it in a glass of water instead (the reeds are definitely his own, and expensive)

Tsuyu Asui:

Trombone gang bro.

Positions are burnt into her brain dude she’ll never go out of tune.

SO SMOOTH. SOOOO SMOOO- dude she plays so well?? It’s never spitty, but during jazz (yes she’s in jazz), if it’s a moody piece she KNOWS how to make it juuussssttt airy enough to be beautiful

Not that good with fast songs, but she makes up for her amazing ass vibrato and her range. GOD-LIKE RANGE.

Mashirao Ojirou:

FRENCH HORN!!!

Omg he plays like a king. And he’s so proud of being the ONLY one playing French horn, but there is PRESSURE, because a French horn is rlly tricky to tune dude. Have you SEEN it??

Always keeps his mouthpiece with him, as if he’s afraid someone will play his instrument?? Like no dude it’s good in it’s case but you do you I guess

He doesn’t stand out that much, but in the majestic pieces where he has a 5 measure solo?? He gives it his all and he pulls it OFF. Those moments are always the highlight of the piece

Mezou Shouji:

Bass clarinet!!

Once he managed to growl through bass clarinet and literally ALL the saxophone players were jealous AS FUCK

Buddy goes to a low E♭ like it’s nothing?? And then he goes up to like a high high C and you’re sitting there like THE FUCKING RANGE-

His warmups are like, quick scales and arpeggios. Bro he’s so steady when he plays and he could play for HOURS. Sore cheeks?? Don’t know her.

He so proud of being a bass clarinetist, but when he saw an octobass clarinet?? Aizawa better order one of those for him RIGHT. NOW.

Fumikage Tokoyami:

Baritone saxophone. Also lowkey really wants to learn bassoon because it’s such an old instrument

SKSKS he and Shouji sit next to each other, Tokoyami loves to read off of Shouji’s partition and create the WORST fourths you’ll ever hear. Even Midoriya told them to shut the fuck up once

In jazz band too!! Still plays bari sax

Such,, a good,, sound. So,, meaty,, and full,, and HOT. Bari sax is HOT!!

Plays moanin’s intro as a warm up. Search up the song. It’s bomb.

He loves to figure out new sounds with his bari sax. The Too Many Zooz type of sounds

Hitoshi Shinsou:

PERCUSSIONIST. Especially loves the bells, timpani, vibraphone and marimba.

He’s in the back judging EVERYONE. It’s so great for him, he gets to stand there and cringe and no one will know

Totally able to play 4 mallets like the king he is

Surprisingly enough, he’s rlly good in music theory. Like he could probably compose or transpose something no problem

Aizawa’s favourite, of course. Will ask him to sit in front while they play and circle the parts where he thinks something sounds off

Now that we’ve talked about the NORMAL band kids, I present to you,,, the gremlin band kids

Mina Ashido:

Percussionist as well!! She loves snares but you’ll see her pick up castagnettes even if y’all are playing something like Gymnopédie no. 3 she’s a bit confused but she got the spirit.

CANNOT READ SHEET MUSIC. Like notes?? No. She can do beats, just not notes. Let Shinsou figure out the ancient languages dude

Her and Hagakure don’t warm up, they just gossip together.

Did this to Bakugou more than once

SHE DROPPED SO MUCH EQUIPMENT LIKE HOW DID SHE NOT BREAK ANYTHING YET??

Denki Kaminari:

TRUMPET.

Buddy AIMS to have his spit land on someone sitting in front of him (rip Todoroki and Uraraka)

Thinks he’s cool because he plays trumpet, but he always loses count. God forbid Iida cant show up to practice because Kaminari will die

“Where are we? What are we doing? Which piece are we doing? Where are we starting?” Oh my god he’s so lost can SOMEONE please help him

Always gets in trouble during band camps dude. He and Sero are the Bad Brass duo

Eijirou Kirishima:

EUPHONIUM BABEY!! He thinks it’s so cool and he’ll get so insulted if someone calls it a “mini tuba”

DONT GIVE HIM SHEET MUSIC IN BASS CLEF HE HATES IT PLS JUST TREBLE CLEF

So!! Protective of his euphonium. His name is Johnny, by the way. He named his instrument.

When they finish practicing a piece, he’s the first to give feedback. Usually it’s good, like praises for classmates he heard and thought were really good!!

He’s so sweet. Willing to help others during practice and sectionals too!! It’s so sad that he’s literally on the other side of the room bc KAMINARI NEEDS HIS HELP-

Katsuki Bakugou:

Hehehe he’s a flautist. I’ve stood by this headcanon for like two years.

And he wants to be THE BEST. You never knew growling could be done through a flute until you met Bakugou.

CANNOT STAND slow pieces. He wants to go all out all the time, he always speeds up when the tempo’s slow.

Also in jazz band with what? Flute. Yeah, this is George Benson Time.

Will hit you with his flute if you ever think badly of him for playing flute. He’ll defend flute ‘till he dies.

Hanta Sero:

TROMBONIST!!! TROMBONE BABEY.

Will be so happy if he’s in charge of bass trombone?? Like yay??

Always wants to hit Bakugou’s head while playing.

Bro his playing style?? You know the like, lazy-ish trombone playing? But it’s just so full and smooth and heavy anyways? That type of shit.

In jazz band, he’s actually a natural at jazz, doesn’t practice that much so he’s like not even in a good position, buddy just slouches and sight reads.

I love Hanta sm guys I could talk abt trombonist!Hanta forever

[babysizedfics]

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[xiaophobic]

OKAY SO UH MY TEAM AS FOR RIGHT NOW CONSISTS OF FISCHL YANFEI XIAO AND QIQI (WHO I GOT YESTERDAY AAA!!) so i basically imagine this going down this way;

because of the fact that i cant talk,, like i rarely talk i think i would get a little close to xiao by just us,, sitting in silence ya know?! hes probably just like “??” the first couple of times but im just sitting beside him so hes like “fine ig🤨”

i think that fischl and yanfei would get ALONG,. THEY BOTH TALK SO MUCH,, i think they would be the two that actually carry the conversations considering me or xiao wouldnt😭😭

i think yanfeis lowkey very intrigued by fischls stories JSJDJS even tho she catches on that theyre not true after sometime she still likes to listen to her talk and in exchange yanfei can go on abt law to her and she would listen as well

so i think those two would hit it off immediately and as for xiao at first he would be like “years of fighting demons and karmic debt really led me to this??” but after sometime he started to tag along because he feels like he has to protect the rest bc “theyre idiots but theyre my idiots🙄”

AS FOR QIQI,, the baby of the group 100%,, xiaos very scared and unsure at first considering their backstory but after he notices she doesnt remember anything, he tries his best

(yes im here to spread my older brother xiao agenda)

fischl definitely tells qiqi stories and xiao tries to learn how to braid her hair</3

he swear he doesnt care but everyone could see his eyes watered a little bit when qiqi brought him flowers from her walk with yanfei

xiaos thoroughly confused about yanfei — shes an adeptus?? but she doesnt serve rex lapis?? but after sometime he gets to the conclusion that maybe its for the better. he doesnt wish for her to go through what he did

again abt me and xiao considering we both dont really,, sleep a lot for multiple reasons i think thats the moment when we would probably start to talk a little bit to each other ya know

WAIT ALSO OZ,, qiqi loves oz but shes confused abt him😭😭 and oz just tells her stories too

after sometime fischl probably slowly drops the way she talks and everyone knows it happened because she begun to trust them and everyones touched about it

i mentioned it before but yanfei absolutely takes qiqi outside when its colder and shes the one that does her exercises with her (..and xiao joins),, she also reminds her of her notebook,,

oh about fischl and xiao,, i think shes a little bit intimidated by him at first, but then he starts to warm up and i think she also begins to treat him like an older brother figure</3

honestly after time if anyone needs help with their hair they go to xiao

I HAVE MUCH MORE BUT THIS IS GETTING LONG SO ILL STOP NOW SJDHJS

XIAO BEING A BIG BROTHER FIGURE TO LITERALLY ALL OF THEM 💖💕💘💓💝💞💗

I AM SO SOFT AND ABSOLUTELY BEHIND THE BIG BROTHER AGENDA!!! i feel like that dynamic would exist in my team as well, with zhongli being the designated father figure he’s definitely the big brother that keeps mfs in line when he’s not around y’know AAHSHHABS

fischl and yanfei talking each other’s ears off ☹️ them just being happy that someone finally hears them and listens WAHHH THATS SO CUTE

AND BABY QIQI!!! GOD I WISH I HAD HER MAN SHES ADORABLE,, HER BRINGING XIAO BACK FLOWERS IM GONNA CRY

pls xiao and i would be the insomniacs too, except i’m way more annoying and talkative 🥴 but your team is amazing, they are a little family :))

IF YOU HAVE MORE SEND THEN IN??? I DO NOT CARE ABOUT ASKS BEING LONG I WILL ANSWER THEM 🤬🤬 I LOVE READING THIS SHIT GIMME

[bxthharmon]

Ivy, Prologue

Words: 688

Series Warnings: Underage drinking / Smoking weed / violence / abusive relationships / toxic friendships and relationships

Pt Warnings: subtle hint to drinking

Series Summary: She’s been faking her whole life, and he makes her realise she doesn’t have to

Pt Summary: Watching the sunrise

Pairings: Pope Heyward x reader, Rafe Cameron x reader

A/N: okay oops im starting a new series (im still doing tpg, dont worry!) and tysm for following me and putting up w my shit also popes underrated

“masterlist”

If I could see through walls, I could see you’re faking

If you could see my thoughts you would see our faces

Safe in my rental like an armoured truck back then

We didn’t give a fuck back then

I ain’t a kid no more

We’ll never be those kids again

                                         - Frank Ocean, “Ivy”

She thinks, long and hard, back to when it all started. Years ago, probably. When the only pressure she felt was the pressure as her ears popped underwater. Now, the feeling is familiar, but there’s no water, just the insurmountable pressure of simply being. She is naive, but she is not innocent. She has experienced too much to be innocent. No, she is strong now, hardened by the pain forced upon her. She has learned from her suffering - learned not to let people in, learned not to trust, learned to only depend on herself.

The question burns in her mind. It’s been there for a while now, the everlasting thought that maybe someone knows. She wonders if anyone is thinking about her right now. Is anyone lying awake tonight, thinking about her? She doubts it. People know her, she has friends, too many friends, but she doubts any of them think of each other when they’re not together. All of them - too shallow to think of anything beyond tomorrow. She was like that once, and she knows she shouldn’t forget that. She lived her life in ignorance too, even if that feeling is foreign now, she refuses to forget that she was - is - one of them.

On top of that, there’s the feeling of loss when she thinks of her childhood. She was always popular - it was almost a given - but she was freer, and in some twisted way, when everyone started to like her, it was because she was completely and utterly herself. It took mere months of pressure and she was conforming. The pressure that ultimately led to her many illegal escapades (examples being; the week that she ran away to Las Vegas, a weekend in Los Angeles and four days in Seattle - all of which came out of nowhere in spur of the moment decisions that did more harm than good.)

Wet sand sucks at her feet, pulling her deeper into the beach with every wave. She wonders how long it would take her to sink in completely. The waves roll up, swirling around her ankles, and then pull back, retreating, leaving sandy tide marks on skin that has been darkened by the sun. Her ankle bracelet is wet, sodden with the salty water, and she knows it will go curly now, the threads distorting from the briny sea that consumes her, little by little, as the tide rises. The bracelet, after months of intermittent salty submersions, is bleaching, getting paler and less defined, but she refuses to take it off, a final reminder of the friendships that she has ruined. Somewhere out there, on the horizon, the first hints of orange take to the sky, reminding her that she must return home, sooner or later. She watches as the plethora of colours paints a sunrise in front of her, ambers, magentas, scarlets and indigos decorating the sky, the darkness being replaced with a golden half light like a renaissance painting, urging her back to the place she once called home. She pulls her feet from the sand, cringing at the plop that sounds as she frees her feet from the sticky sand. She walks up the beach, the dry sand coating her feet, clinging to it like a second skin. When she reaches the tarmac, she savours the feeling of the smooth road rubbing the sand off the soles of her feet, and gently warming with the rise of the sun. she reaches out, stretching into nothing, feeling the warmth of the air, and the tickle of the sun on her neck. She moves gracefully, knowing that the only ones awake will be busy, and no one knows about these nights. She stashes the empty bottle under a bush, to be found in a week’s time by someone she won’t care to talk to. 

She walks past house after house, each one bigger than the last, each one home to someone she goes to school with, each one home to people causing more trouble than good. She blinks in the fresh sunlight, seeing her own house ahead.

She doesn’t want to go home yet.

Tagging @ad-infinitums​ and @poguelive​ cuz we talked abt this lmao

lemme know if u wanna be tagged xx