#and i feel that my understanding of her is deeper because of it

[somedayillbepeterpan]

I have gone down this rabbit hole now and I'm afraid I'm never getting out. I hope I give justice to this. And sorry if this is long.

I've seen a lot of the Colin and Marina vs. Colin and Penelope analyses in here and I want to raise this parallel as to how the Butterfly ball was such a powerful move for both Penelope and Colin. We all have our issues with how they handled Pen and Colin finding their way back to each other but let me add this perspective and hope it helps us understand how real they handled the issue of LW and pushed the character development for them both.

The scene on the left is from S01e06 (Swish) and the right is S03e08 (Into the Light)

S1 scene - Violet is still in her dressing gown, obviously distraught having just read something from LW. She hears someone come down and finds Colin.

S3 scene - Violet is dressed for the morning and her face looks a combination of surprise and confusion after reading a letter. She turns around when she hears someone coming down the stairs.

In both scenes, we see Colin coming down the stairs.

S1 - we only see Colin's back. We're in suspense on what emotional state he is in but we do know that he's on his way to elope with Marina.

In S3 - we see Colin's face immediately looking determined and ready. We see Violet calling his name quite urgently.

S1 - Colin sees his mother's face looking like a combination of disappointment and anger. He asks what's happening. She doesn't say anything but just looks at Colin with a sadness that only a mother can give.

S3 - Violet pointedly says that she received a letter from Colin's wife (I love this line so much) that sounds awfully like "I need you to explain what's happening right now."

S1 - Violet hands Colin LW without saying anything and just looks so so so sad. Colin is shocked to his core because we learn that LW (Pen) exposes Marina's pregnancy and that she has been pregnant from the beginning of the season.

S3 - Colin determinedly faces his mother telling her that they had better sit. And I'm guessing that Colin tells her everything.

Where am I going with this? (Gosh, doing an analysis is hard 😂)

The first time Colin fell in love (thought he fell in love), he was blindsided. But I believe the pain he felt at that time was made deeper because his family had to save him from the situation (Anthony explaining that his actions in the scandal will affect his sisters' prospects as well). To think that it was his mother who first learned of the situation added salt to the wound because we all know that he is a mama's boy and that the one person he dislikes letting down is his mother.

The second (and last time) Colin falls in love, he once again feels betrayed. But he's fallen in love so deeply that he can't imagine his life without Pen. The struggle he goes through in understanding his emotions was very hard to watch and it's because the issue goes beyond his and Pen's relationship. It extends to his family.

Colin's hero complex goes beyond feeling worthy of Pen's love but also worthy of the Bridgerton name. We see it several times in S3 when he mentions it in his confrontation with Portia (" I advise you not to sully our Bridgerton name...") and when Pen tells him that Cressida discovered her secret ("It will besmirch our Bridgerton name. The entire family").

The whole sequence in the study is now more significant because of what Pen addresses in their conversation-- Colin's family ("Your family... the one you so kindly shared with me, they are too good").

Pen's "sacrifice" ("But I can no longer conceal the biggest piece of information I have. My identity."), I believe, was to save the Bridgerton family (once again) and she asks Colin to stand by her as she formulates and executes this plan.

It was very important that Pen wrote a letter to Violet directly and that Colin was there right after she's read it to explain everything. From this point on, they were a team. From this point on, Colin moves in parallel with Pen instead of against it. Colin finally sees that version of Pen that she's always been even while she was LW-- the person who was always determined to save his family just as much as he does.

From this point on, their goals were aligned.

10 rewatches after, I finally see how Colin found his way back to Pen. It wasn't very obvious to me how he got over the feelings of betrayal after he discovered Pen was LW. Of course, him reading the letters help but the events leading up to the Butterfly ball, helped him see her as both Pen and Lady Whistledown and the overflowing pride we see on his face was heart-melting to watch.

From this point on, they finally see each other eye to eye. From this point on, they finally accept this version of each other.

If you got the end, thanks for reading my humble musings.

[sourvers]

WHEN YOU'RE PRICE'S BELOVED WIFE who exudes class and the fine mist of confidence through the click of your leather boots, the gentle swish of your trench coat and the glimmer in your earings. When you walk into base for the first time- delivering your husbands forgotten paperwork from your office- of course the boys can't help but soak up your velvety voice and candid laugh like the tint of red wine on your pretty lips. No wonder Price said, “My wife is beautiful.”

WHEN YOU'RE PRICE'S BLUNT WIFE who wants nothing more but to ensure a breathing Price walks through you're house doors. Which means you want the 'boys' to be safe too! You chide them firmly, crossing your arms over your chest, your voice that of a captain giving orders or a mother you can't refuse. Price can't help but stifle a laugh; attempting to nod his head while you point your fingers at towering men who could crush you with a flick of their finger. Yet, the three of them remain paralyzed. You shoot a glare at Price. Best not anger the missus...

WHEN YOU'RE PRICE'S HARD WORKING WIFE who stands firm in your opinions and speaks cut, clear and concise. When the boys find out you're a university professor: an academic of considerable standard, their not entirely shaken. They learn how hard you fucking worked for your position. While their out in the fields, you're teaching the next generation; plunging yourself into the heart of ignorance and rooting it out, lifting it up to the heat of the sun, watching it melt in palm of your tender hands. Price says its a relief you're so strong, just in case things go south.

WHEN YOU'RE PRICE'S KINDHEARTED WIFE who has the imagination of child and the freedom of a bird. You lift kids up in the air, make snow angels, bake cookies at 12 in the morning and laugh until the rest of the world can hear you. While your face may be riddled with acute angles and sharp turns- the curve of your smile shines like a star. You invited them over to your place for a night, cooking Price's favourite for all to share. That was when they saw you, really saw how much love was swelling in your big heart as you danced and sang with no care; pressing a kiss on Price’s cheek with each new song.

WHEN YOU'RE PRICE'S SECRETLY SAD WIFE who wishes life didn't have to be this way. Who wishes you didn't have to be so 'strong' all the time. Who questions if you were even strong from the start. Who desperately desires a stable life as the years go by— maybe your own kids in your arms and not your coworkers. You didn't think Soap would hear you that night in the backyard, crouched down drying your tears while muttering words he couldn't understand except the single phrase, “I wish my husband wasn’t a fucking captain.”

WHEN YOU’RE PRICE’S LONELY WIFE who thinks it’s best if you stopped visiting him at work— “I think I’m distracting you love.” Inviting the boys for dinner— “I’m afraid I’m busy as of late.” Or even talking to Laswell— “Best not disturb her!” Because the void of your home feels even deeper now despite all the years.

YOU’RE PRICE’S WIFE. You wake up and trace girlish hearts over your husband’s face— muscle memory. He pretends to sleep. You giggle. He brings you closer to his chest. You close your eyes and burry yourself in the tenderness of his heart: fighting the dread at the back of your mind. He whispers to you through a smile, “I can’t believe you’re my wife you know?”

Your lips form a tight smile, “Me too.”

cod masterlist. / similar posts

⤷ it honestly wasn’t meant to be this angsty. oh well. reblog and comments are highly appreciated!

[freyaphoria]

Toys to Lovers

Tw: hard dom jongho, choking, orgasm denial, slapping, fingering, squirting, kinda hurt-comfort

Wc: 982

"I don't understand what you are saying doll." You would understand if you took your hand off my throat, you thought. Jongho had been fucking you for 45 minutes and stopped as soon as you got close to coming. He knew your body so well that there wasn't a sweet spot he didn't tease. You tried to breathe in as much as the hands on your throat would allow and speak again. "Jong... I can't..." He slapped your swollen and red pussy hard. You tried not to moan because you knew he was going to make fun of you. "Oh, you can't ? But you were doing so well, don't act like you're not a bitch who gets fucked every day. You've done it before, you'll do it now." His goal was to denying your orgasm as much as he could and make you squirt like crazy at the end. Since your legs wouldn't stay in place due to shaking, Jongho changed position, laying you on your back and wrapping your legs around his waist. He slapped your tits before placing his hand around your throat again.

Your relationship with Jongho has always been like this. Jongho knew exactly when he had crossed the line without you even saying your safe word, and he would stop without making you uncomfortable. You knew very well how to satisfy him too. You knew very well at what angle you could shove him down your throat to make him come right away, or how fast you jump on his lap will paint your insides white. You know each other very well.

He felt like he weren't deep enough, so he lifted one of your legs, placed it on his shoulder, and continued fucking you. Now, you lost your sense of space and time. You may have forgotten your name. All you know, feel and think right now is Jongho, your fuck buddy. On the one hand, it was good that there was no emotional bond between you, but he was binding you to himself day by day. You both were each other's fucktoys.

He pressed his hand to your stomach and felt himself inside you. "Do you feel it? I'm rearrange your guts." Your only response was to moan. "Jong- Jongho, I- I can't hold it anymore." You felt your orgasm growing in your belly and you couldn't hold it anymore. “Oh, will my fucktoy come?” That tone always made you feel wet and right now it wasn't helping at all since you were trying to hold off your orgasm. "Y-yes! Please let me!" Your legs began to burn as tears flowed from your eyes. Physically, your muscles were constantly cramping as he put you in different positions, but you couldn't notice because of the pleasure.

"Good girl. She begs without me telling her. I must have trained you well." He mockingly patted your head and increased his speed to an impossibly high. You thought he would give you the orgasm you wanted, but just as you were about to come and your walls were squeezing him, he suddenly pull out of you. "Why... Jongho I was just about to come!" He lowered your leg that was on his shoulder and inserted the middle and ring fingers of his left hand inside you. “While I finger you, you will come into my mouth so I can taste you.” He lowered his head down to your abused pussy and looked at you from there with his big boba eyes. When his fingers caressed your g-spot directly and his tongue glides over your clit, a long moan escaped your mouth, reached for his hair and pulled hard. He moaned in your pussy because he liked it when you pulled his hair; the vibration nearly melted you. You arched your waist as he curled his fingers and thrust them deeper. "C-Can I please come? I r-really can't hold it." As the words came out of your mouth on their own, you were pulling his hair so hard that you pulled some of it out.

He made an approving noise and fucked your g-spot over and over again, without taking his mouth off your pussy. The knot inside you had grown so much that after he give you permission, you squirted so hard onto his mouth with a wave of pleasure that seemed to explode. When you came to your senses and raised your head, Jongho's face and chest were glistening with your fluid. "You should have seen how sexy you just were."

He wiped his chin with the back of his hand. "You're addicted, I almost fell in love with you." Almost... You couldn't stand this feeling of being using someone for just sex and someone using you just sex anymore. You reached out your hand to his cheek and cleaned the remainings on his cheek with your finger. "But I fell in love with you." He looked at you with wide eyes. "I know it wasn't in our agreement, but I can't hide it any longer-" Before you could finish your sentence, he kissed you. But this kiss was different from the others; It was not the, hungry and hard kiss, but a soft kiss with more emotion. "I'm not going to fool myself. I love you too. But I always suppressed my feelings because I was afraid of the answer." You reached up to kiss him again but felt his hardened cock against your leg, still waiting to cum. "Then, this time, will you fuck me as if I were your lover rather than your fuckbuddy?" He giggled and opened your legs and place himself in between them, sliding his dick to your pussy and spreading your juices. "Don't say as if, I already am." Since it was going to be a long night, you laughed as he put a pillow under your waist, as if he hadn't fuck you harshly before.

a/n: I wrote this very randomly. As I said before, I'm horny and writing jongho smut was very tempting. Since my victim is Jongho, I apologize to him by kneeling in front of him and opening my mouth.

[hrtsfromjules]

𝐮𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 - jana el alfy

Jana El Alfy had always been someone Y/N admired from afar, but their connection went beyond admiration. Their bond was genuine, deep, and rooted in love. Today, they decided to share their happiness with the world.

"Are you ready?" Jana asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she held her phone, poised to hit 'post' on their carefully curated Instagram photo.

Y/N took a deep breath, a mix of nerves and excitement swirling in her stomach. "Ready as I'll ever be."

With a gentle tap, Jana posted the photo: a photo that they took together with a digital camera in the mirror, with a caption that read, "Love knows no bounds."

Within minutes, the post exploded with likes, comments, and shares. Y/N's heart soared as she read through the flood of supportive comments some from their friends, some from other people.

nika.muhl: My cuties💕

randomusername: Beautiful couple!

pboogersfan05: loveeee this! you both look so good!

kamoreaarnold: Ok so boom COUPLE OF THE YEAR

But in the sea of positivity, a few hateful comments stood out like dark clouds on a sunny day.

kanyewestfan911: this is wrong.

user751589534: Why can't people just be normal?

icanthinkofaname: This is disgusting.

basketball4life2014: you're ruining your career jana

user965786479: How could you choose this lifestyle?

Y/N's heart sank, the words cutting deeper than she expected. She tried to brush them off, but the more she scrolled, the more the negativity gnawed at her confidence.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jana asked, noticing the shift in Y/N's demeanor.

Y/N sighed, putting her phone down. "It's just... some of the comments. They're really hurtful."

Jana wrapped her arms around Y/N, pulling her close. "Don't let them get to you. There will always be people who don't understand, who are filled with hate. But that doesn't change how I feel about you, how we feel about each other."

"I know," Y/N whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "But sometimes I wonder if I'm enough for you. If this is all worth it."

Jana gently lifted Y/N's chin, looking deeply into her eyes. "You are more than enough, Y/N. You are everything to me. Those people, they don't know us. They don't know our love. We can't let them ruin our happiness."

"But what if it affects your career?" Y/N's voice trembled. "What if people start seeing you differently because of me? What if all they will see is someone who is in love with the same gender and not for your talent in basketball?"

Jana's expression softened, her thumb brushing away a tear on Y/N's cheek. "Y/N, my career is important, but you are the most important thing in my life. Basketball is my passion, but you are my heart. If people can't accept that, then they don't truly support me."

Y/N sniffled, a small smile forming on her lips. "You're right. I just... I want to be strong, for us."

"And you are," Jana said, kissing Y/N's forehead. "You're the strongest person I know."

Y/N nodded, feeling a sense of peace wash over her. Jana's words, her unwavering support, made her feel secure and loved. They spent the rest of the evening reading through the positive comments, responding to their friends and fans, and letting the love drown out the hate.

"Look at this one," Jana pointed out, smiling. "Someone wrote, 'You two are goals! Thank you for showing us what true love looks like.'"

Y/N's heart warmed. "I guess we are making a difference, even if it's just for a few people."

"Exactly," Jana said. "And those few people make it all worth it."

As the night fell, Y/N realized that their love was indeed unshakeable. The world could throw its worst at them, but as long as they had each other, nothing else mattered.

"Thank you, Jana," Y/N said softly as they lay in bed, their fingers intertwined.

"For what?" Jana asked, her voice tender.

"For loving me. For being my strength."

Jana smiled, her eyes filled with love. "Always, Y/N. Always."

[iturbide]

I think theres been a misunderstanding ,I dont disagree with that as edelgards goal,im saying conquest is her ultimate goal specifically because she wants to enact her own changes across all fodlan.

She does not want to stop at adrestia , she wants it done across the whole continent and she believes it must be her making those reforms. Even if Dimitri and Claude want similar changes (and we actually see Dimitri making reforms) she still believes it needs to be *her* at the head. And that means conquering the Kingdom and Alliance to return the "superior" Adrestian Empire back to its former glory with *her* holding the reigns.

that's why she will not stop even if Rhea is dead , even if the central church is gone, and even if she already made her reforms in Adrestia and has control over the southern church . its the " raze it all to the ground and rebuild it from the ashes" mentality.

Oh and Im glad you mentioned the branches of the church because she... doesn't actually care about them.

On claudes route she tells claude that as long as his people don't follow the central church she does not care who they follow , so they're free to follow the eastern church over her own southern church.

The branches appear to be largely Independent from the central church. Thats why the western church is able to get away with xenophobia and their multiple attempts to kill Rhea. That's also why edelgard is able to revive the Southern church and control it herself with no interference from Rhea.

Edelgards reforms are in regards to the nobility and system of inheriting titles, not necessarily the faith itself. Thats why she focuses solely on the central church while largely ignoring the other churches. as you said, it's because she believes the "monstrous beast" that leads the central church is the reason for everything she condemns (fodlan being divided , the system of nobility and inheritance, the obsession with crests, etc.)

Tldr: im not disagreeing with you. My point was that all conquerors make similar justifications for their wars. even if they believe their cause is righteous, the end result is the same.

I still feel like you're unfairly boiling down Edelgard to a 2-dimensional figure, though. As I said, I can't comment on Three Hopes, and I don't personally consider it canon, so I am not speaking in regards to anything from that game -- but in Three Houses, it's not just rote imperialism that drives her.

It's true that she believes that she needs to be at the head of change -- but this, in Three Houses, stems from the fact that by her own admission, she believes that Claude and Dimitri are on Rhea's side. She says as much after her class escapes from Garreg Mach after the attack on the Holy Tomb:

The Church of Seiros has great influence and power. Their control over the lords of the Kingdom and the Alliance is nearly absolute.

Again, she is wrong about this. This is not an accurate assessment of the situation -- in truth, several noble heirs from the Kingdom have every reason to hate either the Crest System or the Church itself (including Ashe and Sylvain), while there are prominent nobles in the Alliance who basically pay lip service to the Church because they feel it's expected of their station, including Lorenz:

The truth is, I am not a particularly devoted believer either. But it would be unbecoming for a noble like me to neglect his prayers, wouldn't it?

But Edelgard lives in a situation where trust is dangerous. She doesn't remember her time in Faerghus as a child, and therefore doesn't remember Dimitri; all she has to go off of are the close historic ties between the Kingdom and the Church (a belief undoubtedly strengthened by Dimitri taking Rhea in after the fall of the monastery in Crimson Flower). And Claude is widely regarded as an untrustworthy schemer, not just by Edelgard but by Garreg Mach at large, so there's nothing he could say to win her over.

So no, Edelgard does feel like she has to be the one heading change -- because she can't open up enough to trust anyone else to do it. Again, this does not make her a bad character. This is part of what makes her as a character interesting and compelling. Again, I don't think it's fair to boil Edelgard's character down to Lady Walhart, which is what it feels like you're doing in these messages. She's not: she set out to do this because she saw a legitimate problem, and unfortunately her solution involves brute forcing a solution.

[grahamcarmen]

i kinda wished gray was angry at carmen instead of relieved just for yknow angst and stuff like at the jail when he was like "how did u know i was here" and shes like "all in good time gray" i wish he was like "its graham. whos gray?" cuz lol yea idk if this makes sense i suck at typing

Alright i might go off on a tangent so like feel free to clarify if its too far off base from intent

But i am personally actually ok with the angst on Gray’s side being saved for later, there are so many angsty moments already stuffed in there

->the fight being draining and difficult and ultimately a failure to keep them off him

->the parallel to gray disappearing from sight because of the cleaners

-> gray still getting pain pang and helping carmen where he can

->carmen desperately trying as many keys as she can when the robot finally comes

->carmen screaming for gray after he screamed for her

Like…phew thats alot happening and i think that it would get lost in the fray

Side note:

-> him taking the info that ACME finds carmen shady and she decided to work with him and actually wondering who gray is especially because she came to find him…hmm fun

-> gray watching all those civilian gets mistaken as spy movies and going ahhhh.ha.

BUT on the sentiment of gray being angry and not just relieved.

He does start to say it’s graham before he’s interrupted. And he has always been exasperatedly trying to put it aside to try and just be with her in the moment

Like…askjdnfdaksjf look at this face

Relief is not the only emotion here

And it does come to its breakpoint

because well  [the point is she’s lying to him.- bugs life voice]

And what a breakpoint it is because Carmen is not allowed to pretend that the person in front of her doesn’t have a thing to say about who she was protecting* 

So its not angst denied but angst delayed if that makes sense and the himalaya caper puts it into more focus than the jail could

Like  “alas why did he not simply look into her yearny eyes and make a decent life choice for once” aside [which is so fun to say]...

but the thing is …it's something that i do think gray gets to be mad about at that moment [not that he isn’t making a terrible life choice on the side but-]

…she lied to him by omission and flat out. And only came to rescue a fake version of him as far as he’s concerned. A fake version it seems she was pretending even further with by calling him gray and not graham.

….

GAH THIS IS WHY I DON’T GET WHY YOU GUYS THINK BLANKET LETTING CARMEN HAVE ZERO REVISIONS ON HOW SHE SEES HIM IS OK

And no just enemy who !had his chance at the cotillion you! doesn’t work as the final verdict either >:0

 [you're making the carmen sad and that has literally never worked plus carmen is just wrong for this on some level]

They’re so messy dude…like there’s so much to unravel and him being firm but straightforward about it is at least picks at this issue good enough for the moment…oof…was a lot like …oogh

But necessary. Gray is a person who actually has a reaction to this ya know [or character i mean- same thing].

His anger tends to be overshadowed by a lot else is all…[T.T multiple mistakes in a row babeyyyyyyyyyy] + his own prioritizing when it comes to his own emotions

And to make matters worse….OMFG THEY STILL LIKE EACH OTHER THEY’RE STILL SO MUCH MORE SAD INSTEAD OF MAD ABOUT IT ALL AND WANT TO BE TOGETHER AND ALL THE LIES BEING UNVEILED JUST MAKES THE TRUTH MUCH MORE NECESSARY AND IMPORTANT OMGGGGGGG GRRAH WHY ARE YOU 2 BEING SQUISHY CRIMES HAVE BEEN COMMITED!

They just need to tone down the nonsense…be even more honest with each other …they be wild out here…ya’ll can do it with time i believe in ye, even if that will mean more tough conversations with each other, i think they like each other enough

But yes. Him mad at it DOES make good angst. ..and tbh not even for just that moment…because …

[quantumshade]

can you elaborate on gender with the twelfth doctor... im spinning she/her pronouns for twelve around in my head so much it gives me life. even if you dont feel like/dont have any further elaboration i want to thank you for introducing me to that concept

because she's a girl...? i don't understand the question she's just a girl

[hooved]

lwaxodo but yuri

[girlcrushau]

[qumiiiquinnquin]

maybe ive said it before, but i feel like im going to pick up a lot of habits my parents had, like smoking and drinking extremely unhealthy amounts of cigarettes and alcohol

[sylver-drawer]

Tfw you make a whole new love interest for Athy because you dislike both of the canon ones

[many-gay-magpies]

the thing that always messes with me about villains whose entire motivation is "i wanna rule the universe and become a god" is that im just left wondering why? like if a character becomes a villain because theyve been hurt and want revenge or something i can get that but why would you even want to rule the world. whats the motivation behind that. it seems like it would be really stressful

[wyrmswears]

no one else was making content for this series so fuck it, i get to decide canon now

[psychedelic-ink]

I'm so conflicted because, on one hand, I want to see my therapist and just talk without having the feeling that I need to shut up and not talk about what I'm feeling

On the other hand, it's so expensive and I feel like seeing her isn't really helping me anymore

[myteastainedpages]

what else was intimacy if not the memorisation of her thoughts, her dreams, her fears?

the atlas paradox - olivie blake

[larrythefloridaman]

You know :)

nccts is funny. anyway cyberbullying prism is a way of life and i am committed to it i am putting her in a shoebox with no airholes and floating it down the Alafia River to be carried to and sink to the bottom of Tampa Bay where she will be torn asunder by the sharks