#and i hate how my new kitchen shelf has turned out

[dummerjan]

having a bit of a very unexpected emotional crisis

[cheynovak]

Tale as old as time  

Reader x Soldier Boy 

Warnings:  Well, it’s soldier boy. Where to start... Smut, Fluff, Drugs, Cursing, Voilence, ...  

Side note: English isn’t my first language.  

Words: 6003 😮  

POV: Y/N is Soldier Boys first girlfriend who turned into a supe not long after Soldier boy with compound V. Vought made her out to be his enemy, so he had no choice but killing her. But years later the boys discover she is still alive and maybe the only supe on this planet to take down Soldier boy and homelander. 

Side note: Cursive text are memories 

Have fun!

 

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Pennsylvania: 1939 

 

“Y/N? Y/N! Where are you going? Wait up!” Ben yelled at her trying to follow her but the crowd in at the fair made it difficult. Y/N ran towards the Ferris wheel, she looked back but didn’t see Ben following. “Got you!” He said while lifting her up turning around. ”BEN!” she screeched laughing. When he got her steady on the ground, she lifted her hands towards his neck kissing him on his cheek. “I need to go.” Ben said. “Can’t we at least have one last ride in the wheel?” She asked with big deer eyes. Defeated by her charm he nodded.  

 

“Do you really have to go?” She asked with a soft voice. “It’s the only way to make my old man proud, sweetheart.” he said pulling her in his arms. “I don’t think this is the answer Ben, you could get hurt, or worse!” She really is worried about him he thought. “What? Afraid I find a new best girl?” He joked trying to lift the mood. She poked his ribs “Not funny! I serious Benjamin!” The wheel stopped and the two young love bird got out. As a true gentleman Ben brought Y/N home. They shared a kiss, the last one for a long time Ben thought. “Ben?” She looked up is his green eyes asking to follow her so she took his hand and leaded him behind the house towards the shed where her parents couldn’t see them. “You know I'm yours, right?” He nodded. “Will you make yours tonight?” She asked clearly looking shy. Ben’s eyes grew big. “Are, are you sure?” He asked. She kissed him passionately in response. “Just, just take it slow, ok?”  

Y/N woke up startled, looking over at Patrick, her fiancé. Who was still deep asleep. So, she quietly got out of bed and got to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. Why the hell did that memory sneaked up in her dreams. Probably the nerves for the wedding she thought. No one has seen Ben in ages, he is probably gone or much like herself had found love and settled down. But she couldn’t help herself got to the spare bedroom and pull up the old shoe box with pictures and other memories. There was one picture of Ben, fully dressed in his “Soldier boy” costume. God, she hated that helmet, made it impossible to see those cute freckles. After looking at his eyes for who knows how long she got herself back in bed. Lifting Patrick’s arm and hugging him. He mumbled something unrecognisable and pulled her closer.  

The next morning Y/N was extremely tired, she didn’t get any sleep anymore last night. “Good morning beautiful.” Patrick kissed her on her cheek as he did every morning. They had breakfast, he kissed her before he got to work. Patrick was a lawyer he made enough money to take care for the two of them. So, when they officially began dating, he asked Y/N to be a housewife. He meant well, he knew her backstory and thought she deserved some peace. She agreed, but after last night she had this hinge that maybe she wasn’t born to be a housewife.  

But the dream couldn’t stop the daily tasks. Y/N grabbed her purse and drove to the grocery store. When she came back, she noticed someone was inside her house. She quickly grabbed the gun from the glove box and went inside the house via the back door. Her house was a mess, cabinets open, shelfs empty... One of the skinnier men came down. “Oh god! Oh god. Please don’t shoot! BUTCHER, she is home!” He yelled before Y/N knock him out with the gun. The other two man came running down both holding a gun. “Listen I don’t know what you two idiots think you’re doing, but you picked the wrong house buddy!” Y/N said. “Now drop the gun!”  

“Oi, were not looking for any trouble princess.” He said lowering his gun.” Or should I say Ms. Y/N Frances Wilson.” He smirked saying your name, your true birth name, you haven’t heard in years. “How do you...know?” she looked shocked. Butcher and MM started to explain they were looking for something to kill Homelander and possibly Soldier Boy. And that Annie found secret records at Vought that stated that you were the only person who ever won a fight against Soldier boy.  

“Wait, wait you’re telling me Ben is still alive?” You looked at Hughie since he was the only person in the room you seemed to trust a little. “Oh, we’re on first name basis?” The annoying British fella said. Y/N gave him a dead stare side eye. “Listen buddy, if you have my records, you know that “Soldier boy” and I go way back. Y/n said pissed.  

“Oh my god! What happened here! Y/N are you ok?” Patrick walked through the door. “Who are you?!” he looked over at the men. “Honey, it’s ok these are... who are you again?”  

Hughie explained everything to Patrick who looked at him with fear in his eyes. “Baby, If these supes really are that dangerous, we need to help them.” “Pat, I promised you I would never, ever enter that life again.” She looked at MM “I will tell you all I know on Soldier boy. But that’s it. I’m no supe anymore” - “Well, that’s just utter bull shit isn’t. The 1st badge of fucking Russian compound V is running through your veins.” Butcher said. “No, no, no, you are coming with us princess. If we know where to find you so will Homelander.” “Let him come, I doubt that, that clown in a cape is much worth.”  

“Against you, maybe.” MM said. “But what with Patrick?” With a heavy heart you agreed to go with the boys. In the car her thoughts drifted away.  

WW2 ended, Ben was coming home, the town made sure he would get a parade. Y/N was nervous it had been a few years. Sure, he did send her letters every now and then, but as time moved on, she received less and less until the communication stopped completely. In one of the first letters, he had sent a picture of him fitting his costume. He looked proud, with a great smile. It had her fall in love all over again. Y/N stood at the back of the sidewalk, watched as Ben drove by waving at the people. He saw her, she knew, he grinned but made sure the other people there wouldn’t notice. Y/N went home after the parade, while she was painting her nails her mom called her. “Sweetheart, get dressed, Benjamin called, he is picking you up for dinner with his folks.” Your heart pounded, he didn’t forget you. You mother thought you were a madwoman not to date nice decent men while he was gone. She wanted her daughter to get married and start a family, like any other parent wanted in those times. And not to wait on a “superhero” who once liked her daughter, who now probably could have any woman.  

Y/N chose a beautiful green dress that matched her curves, it was fitting but not tacky, her nails were boudoir red as were her lips and heels. Perfect contrast with her dress. The doorbell rang. Her father answered the door before she could came down the stairs. Ben was still wearing his costume, probably to impress your folks but thank God, he didn’t wear the helmet. He watched you come down the stairs. “Wow.” he said “breathtaking.” clearly impressed. He held your hand and helped you with the last steps. He kissed you soft on the lips. You were a little stunned by that move, because this was something he would have never done before he got to the army. Your parents were old school he knew that.  

You got into the car, surprisingly he had a driver now. “My lady.” he said holding the door. At first the ride was silent. You stared at him. “Like what you’re seeing, sweetheart?” he grinned looking you up and down, it made you blush. “It’s just, you have changed so much and yet you haven’t.” “So have you.” The dinner wasn’t really a cosy gathering, Ben told his parents and you every detail.  His dad wasn’t impressed with what his son had achieved.” You took a short cut. There were normal man fighting, those are hero’s not some pumped up boy who hasn’t achieved anything in this life.”  

You could see Ben’s lip twitch. “Ben? I think it’s time for me to go home.” Y/N said to help him get out of the house. Once outside “Unbelievable, I did everything I could for that man and I’m still not good enough.” He kept rambling. “Ben, STOP!” He looked at you. “Stop with caring what your father thinks of you.” you said while taking his hand. “He doesn’t know you, not the way I do.”  

 

“Hi, soldier boy.” Two girls giggled from a crossed the street waving at him. Ben answered their flirtations with an over-the-top grin and nod while he checked them out just a little to long for your liking. He turned back to you and saw your expression. “He kissed your cheek, don’t worry sweetheart you’re the one for me.” The car ride was silent once again you almost reach your parents house. “Can you pull over, right here? And give us a minute?” You asked the driver.  

Ben looked at you, the second the driver got out of the car did Ben pull you closer to him and kissed you. Not a soft kiss, no, a passioned kiss his tongue aggressively asking for permission. His hands travelling from your neck over your breast kneading them. “Ben, is this really the best place?” Y/N asked while pulling back. Ben didn’t move back but moved his lips from your mouth to your neck. “You have a better idea sweetheart, was the shed a better place?” He asked out of breath, clearly aroused. You didn’t feel comfortable with his roughness. “Ben stop, please.” - “Oh, come on baby, don’t tell me you’ve didn’t dream of me. That you didn’t think of that night while you touch yourself.”  

That was the line he crossed. “BENJAMIN STOP IT! Get off me! You yelled while slapping his face. Y/N got out of the car Ben shorty following her. “Y/N... Y/N! Stop I’m sorry.” he grabbed her arm. “Look at me sweetheart.” You turned around with tears in your eyes. “Oh baby, I'm sorry, it just, I just, it’s been a while.” You look at him shocked by his words. “You’ve changed Ben. You’re a brute. Maybe if you, I don’t know at least had a normal conversation with me before you started groping me.” - “What I, can’t touch my own girl?” - “Of course, you can, it’s the way you do it Ben, any other man...” But he didn’t let you finish. “Other man? Is there another man Y/N? Did you get the tasted of it after I left. Did you turn to someone else for pleasure.”  

“I can’t believe you! I wanted to say: any other man would at least consider HER feelings.” He dropped his head understanding what she meant. “Goodnight Ben.” She said leaving him in the street. The next day he had to leave for another parade in a different city but not before he went to see Y/N.  

Y/N’s dad answers the door “She doesn’t want to see you kid.” You hear him say. “Please Sir, I need to speak to her.” Ben sounded devastated. “Y/N! I know you’re here. Y/N I’m sorry! Please come talk to me.” - “Boy you are testing my patients, go away, I don’t know what happened last night, but she doesn't want to see you. - “Bullshit!” You heard Ben’s voice turn into anger. He pushed your old man aside an ran up the stairs. Y/N met him halfway standing taller than him. “Baby, please.” He said while hugging you, his head against your stomach. “I want you to go Ben.” Y/N said between her tears. “I don’t know what they did to you, but you are not the same man anymore. I want you to leave.”  

‘Y/N no, you don’t mean it. Y/N please!  

Y/N .... Y/N....’ 

Y/N!!!! Butchers voice leaps you out of the memory. “We’re here” Hughie smiled softy seemingly scared. Y/N didn’t know what it was but this kid, she liked him. He had something pure in his eyes. Once inside Y/N and Patrick meet the other members. They all seemed on edge.  

 

“What the fuck is she doing here?” That voice... you slowly turned around. Ben was standing there in baseball shirt and sweatpants “Oh, god!” But before you could say more, he stormed towards you lifting you up by your neck. “I’ll ask again, what, is she, doing here?” Y/N wanted to answer but couldn’t without air. Ben looked for a second at Patrick, clearly not impressed by him. Y/N kicked Ben to his knee he let her go. But not without trying to hitting her. She luckily could avoid it and pushed him away. “I had no idea you would be here!” She said lifting her hands in the air. “You are the fucking commie that made me a lab rat!” - “Ben that’s not true! I tried to fucking save you from your so-called girlfriend!” - “Bullshit you helped them!”  

“She is telling the truth, according to Voughts records did Noir and Countess quit the number on her. They left her a massive scar on her back. Before they shipped her back of to Russia, where you were held, a cargo she escaped.” Hughie said.

“It’s true Ben, when I heard what they did to you in '84, I tried to find you, I swear!” He got closer, grabbing her neck looking intensely at her. But Y/N pulled back looking over at Patrick. Ben followed her eyes. “Who is he?” - “My fiancé. Patrick”  

“Your Fian...” He couldn’t finish that sentence. ”Why? Did he got you pregnant?” He laughs looking at you. Even though he meant is a joke he glanced at your tummy. “No Ben, we love each other. Besides you know supes don’t have the best track record on getting pregnant.” You said walking over to Patrick. “No, but we sure loved to try.” He winked at you making Patrick uncomfortable. 

Butcher, MM and Annie were going through your files. Annie glanced over at Y/N and asked “Hey, it stated here you weren’t a supe until after 1949? But they never clarified what happened.  

 

 Y/N was walking to her job, when a van pulled over. Two men who didn’t spoke English pulled her in. A week later she woke up in some sort of a hospital. Couple of needles in her arms. The man said in broken English that this might hurt, but that she would become the most powerful humans on the planet, the perfect weapon. And who else can hurt Soldier boy better than his first love. 

Y/N tolt the team what tests they did after they pumped her full of compound V. “Or at least the Russian version of it.” She said. “After that...” She fell silent.  

“After that they erased her memories. Trained her to be a fucking assassin. And sent her after me.” Ben said quietly from a crossed the room not even looking up from the tv. 

“He is right. I trailed him all crossed the country to kill him. And I remember every second of it. I just couldn’t stop myself.”  

Ben woke up in a fancy hotel room, he looked over his bed, smirking when he realised there were still 3 women in his bed from last night. He got up, put on a rope, snored a line and drank the rest of the whiskey he had last night. He heard a noise coming from the hallway. Before he could take a look, the door broke down. An assassin dressed in black attack him. The women screamed when Ben was holding the intruder against the wall. “Run you fucking stupid sluts!” He yelled at them before they ran away behind Ben. “Now who are you?” Ben took of the intruder's mask. He couldn’t believe his eyes. “Y/N???” That moment of hesitation was enough for her to escape his hands.  

After more than an hour going back and forward, Ben hit her she felt out of the window 5 floors down. He looked but she didn’t move. Every now and then their pads crossed. They fight no one wins, one of them got hurt and they would meet again. It became an obsession with finding each other. Vought even named her a super villain. Until one day Y/N had found him again on vacation in Rome. Ben got tired of the constant fighting he wanted answers. He had her tied down and tried to find answers. But no matter what she didn’t talk. He got so frustrated he hit her in de head with his shield. She went unconscious but when she woke up. Ben was still sitting in front of her. “Ben? Oh god Ben!” she started to cry.  

 

Ben had hit her so hard so many times that for some reason the trauma had brought her back. At first he didn’t trust her. But after a while he released her. She told him everything that happened to her. “You should go. Celebrate new year” he said. “N-New year?” she looked shocked. “Sweetheart it’s 31 December.” - “What year?” - “1959”  

“Ten years...” she mumbled under her breath. “You have a place to go?” - “No, not really.” He nodded. Ben thought for a second then invited you to his party.  

Ben knuckled when thinking back at that night.  

 

It was an over-the-top party with world leaders, porn stars and drugs. Old Y/N would have been traumatized, supe you well, let’s say that this was a new beginning. Ben sat on the sofa with 2 girls almost fighting to get on his lap and he clearly enjoyed the attention, until he sees Y/N flirting with a guest. He was clearly trying to get into her pants. And she didn’t seem to mind. This got Ben furious, he got up without saying anything to the girls and walked towards them. You both looked at him. “Out” He said. “Out... EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT!” Y/N tried to walk away with the crowd.  

Ben grabbed Y/N's arm. “Oh, not you sweetheart.” Y/N looked at his hand around her arm and got closer. “What’s the problem Ben? Are you the only one who is allowed fuck on this evening?”  

“Baby... where did you learn to talk like that!” He grinned “But no, no you are allowed to get fucked as well sweetheart. If I’m the one doing it.”  

 

For some reason that made Y/N’s panties soaking wet. She pushed Ben against the wall ripping his shirt in the process. His hand found their way to the back of her knees lifting her up throwing her on the bed. Y/N took off her dress, showing the red lingerie, slowly moving her hands all over her body before moving one hand down her panties, while sitting on her knees. Ben walked towards her pumping his hard cock,

“Fuck that’s hot sweetheart. Show me how wet you are.” She lifted her fingers in the air. Ben grabbed her wrist slowly licking her fingers clean. “Hm, so sweet.” He pushed he on her back taking of her panties. “I’ve missed this pussy, I’ve been wanting to fuck it, worship it ever since I came back from the war.” Y/N got inpatient. “Jesus fucking Christ, Ben are you going to talk me to sleep or are you going to fuck me?  

Ben licked a long stripe against Y/N heated sex. ‘Oh yesss!” She moaned letting her head fall back. Ben ate her like a man starved, then he entered a finger into her cunt, he could feel her enjoying it by the way she squeezed around it. “Fuck sweetheart, how long has it been since someone took care of you?” - Y/N had trouble finding words she could already feel the heat in her boiling. “Huh? Tell me, did you find a man back home? Someone to fuck you when your needy? Or did you take care of yourself?” Ben added another finger while licking your clit. You came so hard on his fingers that the wet sound of him going in and out of you would have normally made you embarrassed. After she screamed his name like a prayer she admitted. “Ben, there was no one. No one but you!” She said a little ashamed knowing he probably fucked half of USA by now. “You really are my girl...” Ben said while kissing her. Letting her take a breath before round 2, 3, 4 and 5 of that night. 

 

“Great fucking night.” He said looking at Y/N and Starlight grinning.  

 

“Why did he say that you were the reason for... you know.” Hughie asked. “Well, in 1970 was payback created. Up until then Ben and I lived together." “Wait, you never told me this.” Patrick said. “I knew he was your first boyfriend and that you fought in the 50s. Why didn’t you tell me? “ Y/N opened her mouth, but Ben was first. “Probably because she didn’t like to tell that after a decade of fighting came a decade of making up... sex.” Patrick closed his eyes, clearly disgusted by soldier boy.  

“As I was saying, 70s, payback, crimson countess.” You say irritated looking at Ben. “Those days, they made it hard on us. Vought didn’t like the idea of the number one hero being in a relationship with the person they called the number one villain. So, we had to keep our relationship a secret. Vought though it would be a great idea to promote Countess and Soldier boy as the it couple. Ben agreed, saying it was all just publicity. “ Ben, looked away. Y/N felt silent. “So, he cheated? “ Hughie asked. 

 

“NEVER! Ben got up this time, I never ever cheated, not on her!” He almost stood toe to toe with him. “Ben... Benjamin!” Y/N yelled standing up trying to defend Hughie who almost shit his pants. Ben looked at Y/N “I swear.” - “I know, but Crimson and Vought did find a way to separate us. They made false evidence that I would be recruited again by Russian spies to bring down Vought. "

I had no idea so when I asked Ben to let go of the suit.” - “He thought you wanted him to be on your side as a communist.” Annie finished your story. “Yes” Y/N said looking at Ben. “All I wanted was a normal life, no more fighting, no more Vought. The life I dreamed of since 1939” - “Well, seems like you finally get what you want sweetheart.” Ben said looking defeated.  

“Well, that’s enough bedtime stories, we need to go and get some supply's before hunting down your boysband.” Butcher said grinning at Ben. “Y/N you mind watching Ben for me? Since you are the only one who probably would actually stop him is he wanted to leave.” - “What about the rest of you?” Y/N asked meaning what about Patrick. “I need everyone, some things I can’t buy in a normal store because I'm wanted. Patrick is a nobody, perfect for the job.”  

In the car MM gave Patrick a phone. “I don’t know if you want it. But Frenchie and I placed a shitload of cameras in that place.  

Everyone left to do their job. Ben was sitting again, in front of the tv. But when Y/n got up to get something out of the kitchen he followed her. “Does he make you happy?” - “What?” - “Patrick, does he make you happy.” He asked again only this time standing so close to you, you could feel his breath against your neck. Y/N closed her eyes. “Yes, I guess so. I have the life I wanted.” She turned to face him locking eyes “I said yes, I'm getting married soon.” Ben breathed heavy while looking at her. He lifted a hand on her neck again, sliding his fingers through her hair toughing his forehead with hers.  

“God, Y/N please don’t.” Patrick said waiting in the car, looking at the camera footage.  

 

“Ben, please... don’t.” She closed her eyes afraid to look in his. “I learned my lesson sweetheart. “I won’t touch you unless you want me to.” He sighted but didn’t move back. “Does he satisfy you?”  

“BEN! That, that is none of your business!” She angry opened her eyes looking in his. She placed a hand on his chest to push him away, but couldn’t, instead she slowly moved her hand up to his cheek. Ben leaned into it. “I’ve missed those soft hands.”  

Y/N smiled slightly. “This beard, it suits you.” - “You like it?” he was surprised. “Very mature. Maybe even a little sexy.” Those worlds made Ben crazy. He lifted you up and placed you on the counter making him stand between your legs, kissing you like a madman, his hands all over Y/N, touching Y/N’s breast making her pull back out of the kiss and moan his name.  

Patrick didn’t want to watch anymore but couldn’t close it. He kept hoping Y/N would fight back. Tell Soldier boy that she loved him, that he had to let her go. Instead, he watched the two of them heading for the bedroom. “No no no no noooo.” Patrick switched camera. Thank got that MM placed one in Soldier boy’s room. “You can still say no baby.” Patrick said under his breath.  

“Fuck, say it again.” Ben said. “I want you, Ben” Y/N moaned while he was sucking her neck and ear. Ben lifted her up and took her to his room closing the door with his foot. He dropped Y/N onto the bed. “Clothes off!” He commanded “I would love to spend the next 48 hours just making love to you, reclaiming your body.” He said. “Ben we don’t have time for that.” Y/N said while pulling his sweatpants and boxers down. She placed herself on the bed. Pulling of her panties while Ben was still looking at her. Y/N opened her legs. “Are you going to stand there watching me pleasuring myself, or are you going to make me scream your name?” Y/N didn’t have to say that twice.  

Ben took his cock in his hands and started to push himself inside her. “Fuck! Your still so tight.” He said while being balls deep in her. He started to trust slow but deep and hard. Y/N lifted her legs over his shoulders so he could go even deeper. “Oh Ben! I forgot how big you were!” Y/N could feel that Ben with every trust hit the G spot inside her. “You were made for me sweetheart, your pussy was made for me to fuck.” Ben felt that he wouldn’t last long if he kept going like this. “Turn around baby. All four.” He said while pulling out of her. He harshly trusted back in her making her moan almost screaming his name. “That’s it baby, say my name.” He said while rubbing her clit. “Oh Ben, ... Don’t stop!” She moaned. Y/N could feel her orgasm building and so could Ben by the way she squeezed him.  

 

“Does he fuck you like this? Does he know how to make you scream his name? By the tightness of you pussy I would say you didn’t get fucked properly in a while.” Y/N loved the way Ben talked dirty.  “Maybe we should invite him, let him see how a real man fucks his lady.” Y/N’s pussy tightened. “Oh, you like that huh. You want him to see how I fuck you, how I know every little inch of your body.” Y/N couldn’t hold it anymore and started to shake into her orgasm screaming Ben’s name.  It didn’t take long before Ben’s trusts started to get sloppy. Y/N turned around and took his cock in her mouth bobbing her head, touching the tip of his cock with her tongue just the way he liked it. Ben leaned back holding her hair while releasing in her mouth.  

Patrick couldn’t believe what he had seen. He tried to find a way to make things better. It was pure sexual, yes that’s it. She doesn’t love him, she, they fucked it wasn’t making love. He tried to convince himself.  

Y/N laid back down on the bed. Ben did the same thing “Fuck that felt good.” He said looking at her on his side with his head in his hand. “Come here.” Ben said while pulling her in his arms Y/N’s head was locket under his chin and against his chest. Ben started to stroke his fingertips over her arms, up her back coming back to the front over her breast, holding one in his warm hand. “So fucking beautiful.” He whispered.  

It was quiet for a moment, now that Y/N was back to her senses she could only think of Patrick, what did she do to him. Patrick was a nice respectable man, he didn’t deserve this. But being here in Ben’s arms felt so right, so safe like coming home.  

“Leave him.” Ben said after a while to break the silence. “What?” Y/N got up looking shocked at him. “Leave him, run away with me.” He said with a straight face. “Ben you, no, I can’t. I’m getting married soon.” Y/N said but not with confidence. Ben got up and sat against the headboard of the bed. “Why? Because he gives you a home? A house with a white picket fence?” He asked while pulling Y/N into his lap, her knees on each side of his thighs. His lip started to slowly kiss the top of her breast before laying his head against her. His hands steady on her back.  

Ben could now feel her scars for the first time his fingers moved over them. “I should have never left you.” He whispered. “Well, I'm sure countess would have found a way.” Y/N said while her lips and cheek were touching his hair. “No, back in 1939, I should have married you, I should have been the man you wanted, deserved. Instead of joining the army.”  

He moved his head to look up at her. “I should have married you, made love to you every night until you were pregnant. Watch our kids grow up. Dance with you in the kitchen. Hell I would even take you to fucking Elvis Presley concerts if that is what you wanted.” That made Y/N laugh but tear up at the same time. “Ben...” Y/N sighted. He kissed her lips again only now he took his time. This kiss was one to make sure she felt loved. Ben pulled her closer, Y/N’s hands on the back of Ben’s head.  

Y/N felt Ben's cock getting half hard again. Both of them started to move their bodies in sync without even knowing. Ben pulled sightly back. “Y/N, I’ll give up the suit, I’ll won’t kill payback, I’ll even stop the booze and drugs. I’ll do anything for you as long as you promise you're mine again.” Y/N looked at his face, looked in his green eyes. “I’ve always been yours Ben.”  

MM got back in the car “Man, are you ok?” He looked at Patrick holding the phone. He rewind the last part and showed MM before the rest of the crew came back. “Y/N, I’ll give up the suit, I’ll won’t kill payback, I’ll even stop the booze and drugs. I’ll do anything for you as long as you promise you're mine again.” -  “I’ve always been yours Ben.”  

“Shit, I'm sorry man.” MM said Patrick didn’t react. Butcher and the rest came back and drove back to the house.  

Y/N took a quick shower, Ben was walking around in the room putting on his sweatpants while all of the sudden he saw a little black dot on the top corner of the dresser. “Son of a...” He pulled it out. “A fucking camera.” Without saying anything to Y/N he walked around the house and found 3 more cameras. Ben stood in the kitchen when Butcher, MM, Hughie and Patrick walked in. “YOU ENGLISH FUCKER!” Ben yelled. This made Y/N suspicious, so she quickly got out of the shower and then heard a rumble. When she got dressed, she ran towards the sound. The kitchen table was upside down on the other end of the room. Ben held MM against the wall.  “What the hell is going on?” Y/N asked.  

“These fuckers thought it would be a great idea to record me, and everything I do in this house.” Ben said pissed not looking at her. “Ben let go of him.” He didn’t respond. Y/N touched Ben’s shoulder. “Ben, please let go of him.”  

Butcher and Hughie looked at each other not knowing what was going on. “Oi, can someone explain what the fuck is going on. A bloody hour ago you” he pointed at Ben “Wanted to fucking kill her. And know she is taming you? And you two ” He pointed at MM and Frenchie “thought it would be good idea to spy on the oldest fucking supe out there, you‘re really that horny and pathetic you want to see him fuck grannies...” While Butcher said that Hughie got the bigger picture. “He didn’t sleep with grannies...” - “Y/N” Patrick finished Hughie's sentence, tearing up. “But then again, you were always his, weren’t you?”  

Y/N started to cry “Patrick, I-I'm sorry.” - “It’s ok, I get it, you wanted a house, a husband, a family but not with me, not really. So, I’m going home, I'm going to box up everything you own. And when you are ready, you can come pick it up.” Y/N stood there watching him walking through the door. 

“So on with the plan ay. How to kill Homelander.” Butcher broke the awkward silence. “No” Ben said walking up to Y/N holding her. “I’m done.” - “No, you’re not.” Y/N said “I still want payback on payback. But Homelander is your problem, Butcher.”  

1 year later.  

Y/N stood at the kitchen counter making breakfast. *Can’t help falling in love* playing in the background. Ben wrapped his arms around her waist. His head on her shoulder swaying left to right. Y/N turned around kissing him. And when she looked in his eyes, she could see the sparkle she hasn’t seen since that day at the fair. Ben, he smiled softly at her. And for the first time in God knows how long, she finally saw a glimpse of the young man she fell in love with. Knowing even though they are both fucked up, they belong together. “Look, we’re dancing. To fucking Presley, Sinatra I would get, but Elvis, why?” He said with a disgusted look on his face. Y/N laughed “Amazing voice, great hips!” She said biting her lip, knowing he wouldn’t like that answer. “Oh, I'll show you great hips.” Ben said lifting her up on the kitchen table. Y/N giggled like a teenager. “I love you.” Ben said looking in her eyes.  

“I love you too.”  

--

If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

[abbott976]

Take Her Name Out Of Your Mouth

Zeke sighed as he towelled off and began to dress. Wrestling practice had been brutal today. Coach was prepping them for their upcoming tournament on Kingshead Island and had been pushing them hard all week. But today was finally Friday which meant a much needed break and some time with his girl.

As Zeke began putting his dirty practice clothes into his duffel bag, his phone buzzed on his locker shelf with a text from Tina.

"Hey baby, are you still coming by the restaurant tonight after practice? I figured we could hang out after closing since it's Friday :)"

Zeke smiled as he punched out a quick reply, letting her know practice had just ended and he'd be heading over soon.

Just as he hit send, he felt one of his teammates approach him. Unfortunately it was Bradley, who was the biggest asshole Zeke had ever met. He was a bully at best and a borderline predator in how he treated the girls at school.

Zeke couldn't stand how misogynistic he was, with Bradley always talking about his latest conquest in the locker room. Zeke had told him on more than one occasion he needed to mind his manners and respect the girls he was with, but Bradley always shook him off.

Today, Bradley had decided to push Zeke's buttons once again.

"Ooh got your little girlfriend waiting for ya Zeke? Bet she'd love to see you after practice, huh?"

Zeke tried to ignore him. He knew he could easily take Bradley in a fight and didn't need to stir up trouble. But if he couldn't keep Tina's name out of his mouth, Zeke would make sure he'd regret it.

"You know Zeke, I kind of get what you see in her. I mean the quiet shy type are always the kinkiest in my experience. I bet she's a real freak in the sheets for you."

Without a seconds hesitation, Zeke turned and decked Bradley in the jaw. All Zeke saw was red as he threw Bradley against the lockers.

"You'd be wise to take my girls name outta yer fuckin mouth Bradley."

"Oh yeah? Or what?"

And with that, Zeke let loose.

-----------

"Hey Zeke, how was pract-- OH my God what happened to your face??" Linda all but screamed at him when he entered the restaurant.

"Hey Mrs. B. Don't worry I'm alright. Just busted my lip at practice. You know how Coach has been, what with the tournament coming up... He's been having us practice some new moves and one of the guys had me in a hold wrong, and I busted my lip on the way to the mat."

Linda studied him for a moment, and Zeke thought for sure she knew he was lying through his teeth. Zeke hated lying period, especially to the Belchers, but he hatrd the idea of Tina knowing what that jerk had said about her.

Just when he thought Linda was about to call him on his lie, she gave him a small half smile.

"Okay honey... how about you go into the kitchen with Bobby. Have him get you some ice for that lip, okay? I'll let Tina know you're here. She's upstairs helping Louise get ready for a date."

"Thanks Mrs. B"

Zeke knew that while Linda may have decided to believe his flimsy excuse, Bob would see right through him in a second. The moment Zeke entered the kitchen, Bob looked him up and down from the grill.

"So. I take it you got into a fight at practice huh?"

"....yeah."

"I got some ice on the counter for you. I set it out by the first aid kit. Looks like your knuckles could use some bandaging up."

"Thanks, Mr. B."

Zeke quietly washed his hands and began the process of bandaging his bloodied and bruised knuckles. Thankfully they weren't in too bad of shape. When he finished he put the first aid kit away and began to ice his lip, leaning against the prep station and waiting for the questions he knew Bob had for him.

"Do I even want to know what the fight was about, Zeke?"

"Probably not, considering it was about your daughter."

"You got into a fight over Tina at practice?? With who?"

Zeke sighed. "Remember that asshole I was tellin ya about last week? That Bradley kid who can't keep his damn mouth shut or respect any of the girls he runs around on?"

Bob stilled at this. "Yeah."

"Well let's just say he needed a lesson in keeping Tina's name out of his mouth. AndI made sure he learned it quick."

With that, Zeke turned, dropping his ice pack on the counter, and began to prep some tomatoes for tomorrow's special. Bob stood silent beside him for a long time as he grilled and plated burgers through the late dinner rush.

When Tina came downstairs a while later looking for Zeke, he turned to Bob, and quietly asked

"Mr. B...Think we can keep what I told you between us? I don't like lying to Tina but I don't want her to know what that ass said about her. I don't want to upset her over what he said about her."

Bob simply patted him on the shoulder, giving his silent nod of agreement. As Zeke began to walk out of the kitchen to greet his girlfriend, Bob called after him.

"Hey Zeke?"

"Yeah Mr. B?"

"Thanks for looking out for her."

[chaotic-super]

For Her Sake - Chapter 17

Read For Her Sake on AO3 here!

Kara is a little overwhelmed with the speed at which she’s being thrown into her new job but overall, she’s fairly certain that she’s coping to a decent degree which means she’s not going to be fired after only one shift.

She’s being shown around the place and given the chance to try every part of the job as the chance arises so she can get a true feel for what it’s going to be like but even so, she’s spending a lot of her time behind the bar where she’s the most comfortable and the most experienced. There are no complaints though, it’s all coming back to her even after spending a few years behind a desk and running around after a needy billionaire.

“Kara?”

Kara looks up when she hears her name called, finishing drying the glass she’s working on before sliding it on the shelf, her head turned towards the person grabbing her attention. “Yeah?”

“How is everything going?” Sam checks in on her, her hand resting on her back momentarily.

“Good, good. Just getting into the groove of things back here.” Kara shrugs with a smile. “It’s like riding a bike.”

Sam smiles back at her. “I’m glad to hear that but would you be awfully upset if I made you come and help out in the kitchen? We’re going to get even busier soon and the other guys have the bar covered.”

“Not at all, lead the way.”

Sam takes Kara into the kitchen where half a dozen people are already working their asses off cooking all different kinds of foods and the smell of it makes Kara’s mouth water. It all smells really good.

“Oh golly, it smells amazing back here.” Kara murmurs, taking a nice deep inhale as Sam grabs herself and Kara aprons and hats.

“I know right? Now, I’m not going to throw you in right in the deep end because that would just be cruel so how about we leave anything that takes fire or heat and show you how to prepare some desserts?”

That makes Kara smile bigger than she has all day. She gets to learn something new, be trusted in the kitchen and handle her favourite thing in the world, dessert. “That sounds great.”

“Awesome.” Sam grins back at her. “I take it you don’t mind handling ice cream?”

“The only downside is that all of it won’t be in my mouth.”

“Well, I can’t expect you to be able to know how to make any desserts you haven’t had the opportunity to try yourself, could I? How else are you meant to know how they are supposed to look and taste?”

Kara’s eyes go wide and her voice dreamy. “I think I might be in love with you.”

“Save those words for Lena, we’ve got work to do,” Sam says and promptly strides off to get the ingredients she needs to show Kara what to do and leaves Kara stuttering and blushing behind her, something she takes note of and inwardly cackles to herself.

-

Sam takes Kara out for lunch halfway through the day by cooking them both the most delicious pasta dish Kara’s ever had the luxury of tasting and then directing her out of the door so they can go and find a bench in the park not far from Reign.

“Seriously Kara, it’s fine. I’m the boss and if I say you get to take an extra few minutes to have lunch with me, then it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want the others to think I’m getting special treatment and hate me for it, I want my time at Reign to be good not filled with drama and pettiness.”

“I’m sure, besides, I take every new starter out for lunch. Or rather, usually, it’s just lunch in my office while we talk shop but I think this is close enough to pass. Nobody will question anything and if you’re so worried about having a long break, you can work over for fifteen minutes to help clean up.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” Kara offers out a hand for Sam to shake and her chin practically brushes the floor when it gets slapped out of the air.

“Don’t be weird. Sit down and eat.” Sam hands her a box and a fork. Kara opens her mouth to argue but Sam holds up a finger when it looks like she’s about to and cuts her off. “Babababa, no words, just eat.”

“But— “

“Babababa, no words.”

Kara is smart enough to shut her mouth after that and start digging into her food, immediately silenced by the incredible taste. Sam let her try a spoonful when she was making it so she’s already aware of how good it is but somehow the knowledge that she’s got a whole container of it to herself just makes it all that much greater. “Oh my god, this is so good.”

Sam nods her agreement. “It is. When I first opened Reign, I had this great chef working for me, his name was John and he was the greatest chef I’ve ever met. He made a bunch of recipes that I have to say do compete with my own. He retired last year but insisted we keep the recipes anyway despite the fact he made a lot of them up and some were his family recipes. We still keep in touch and he still comes into the restaurant every few months to supposedly make sure we’re putting his recipes to good use but I think he just misses me really.”

Kara raises her eyebrows at her, her face disbelieving.

“What, you don’t think someone could miss me?”

“No, I think you’re plenty missable. I’d just say that he probably only shows up every few months because that’s all he can handle.”

“You little bitch.” Sam gasps, her face morphed into one of pure shock. “I definitely regret hiring you, you’re going to give me as much trouble as Lena does. Speaking of the other little bitch, she’s been texting me all morning to ask me if it would be weird to text you and ask how it’s going so I’d appreciate it if you would text her first and end the suffering of the poor soul.”

Kara snorts. “Sure. I promised I’d keep her updated anyway, she’s such a sweetheart for caring.”

This time Sam snorts. “Yeah, she’s definitely a sweetheart alright. She’s got some major heart eyes going on.” Kara misses the joke completely, now focused on moving her thumbs as quickly as she can across her screen so she can get back to her food because her tastebuds are already missing it and her heart is crying out for more and weeping in despair every time the wind blows and cools it a little more so it’s no longer piping hot.

“Did she tell you she took care of Lori for me the other day? She’s so amazing.” Kara gushes around a mouthful as soon as she finishes up her text. “I think it’s cute she gets worried about something simple like texting, I always welcome texts from her.”

Sam’s eyebrows almost merge in with her hairline. “She looked after Lori?”

“Yeah. My sister and I are moving at the minute so when we had to look for a new apartment and then go and view a place, Lena offered to look after Lori for us so we could do so easier. She took her to the park and fed the ducks peas. Lori hasn’t stopped talking about it since.”

 “She never mentioned that,” Sam says, her voice soft. “She used to look after Ruby for me when she had to but it always made her a nervous wreck so I tried not to ask her if I could find someone else to do it.”

Kara’s eyes widen. “Oh no. I shouldn’t have accepted her offer.” Her hands fly up to her face. “She must have just offered to be nice and I took advantage of that. I need to apologize to her. I bet that’s why she got me the books and flowers; she was going to tell me and that was to sweeten me up but she backed out because she’s such a good person she didn’t want to upset me. Sam, I think I’m an awful person.”

By the time Kara has gotten through her mini-rant that borders on a panic-induced breakdown, she looks up to see Sam sitting next to her giggling.

“What’s so funny?”

“You and Lena.” She answers simply.

Kara frowns. “I don’t understand.”

Sam sighs. “Kara, with all due respect, you’re as big of an idiot as Lena is. She doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do so if she offered to take care of Lori, she wanted to and if she got you flowers, she wanted to. People that get other people flowers are usually trying to send a message. As Lena’s best friend, I can’t tell you exactly what that means but you’re a smart girl.”

Kara is confused for a minute and isn’t sure how to respond to Sam but after the brief silence that follows Sam’s explanation, it finally clicks. “Oh. Oh.”

“Yep.”

“I should call her later, huh?”

“That would be beneficial for my text inbox. I never get a break anymore, she’s very good at overthinking things so just a heads up, you’ve got to be able to look after her just as much as she’s willing to look after you.”

Kara taps Sam on the shoulder lightly. “What makes you think that I share those feelings.”

“I can see it written across your face.”

“It’s really that obvious?” Kara asks, her voice shaky with nerves. She thought she was doing pretty well at hiding it.

A nod confirms her fears. “Yes but if it makes you feel better, the only reason it’s obvious to me is because I know about Lena’s feelings because she’s my best friend and I can read her so I had to scope you out to see if you feel the same. It’s easy to find something you’re looking for, you know?”

“Maybe. I guess so.” Kara says, fiddling with the edge of the container, now completely empty, something that upsets Kara greatly.

“What’s wrong? Why are you so sad to find out the woman you like actually likes you back?”

Kara looks down, finding her words in a momentary deep breath as she closes her eyes. “I’m happy she likes me back but my life is crazy right now and while I do really like her, reallylike her I mean, I have to prioritize my daughter. I’m starting a new job; Alex is just settling into hers and we’re moving apartments. It’s a lot of change in schedules and routines and that’s tough for a four-year-old to deal with. She’s my world and I’m not at a point where I can risk disrupting anything else in her life. If it was just me, I’d happily take the leap but she’s my daughter, I just…can’t.”

Sam’s hand lands on Kara’s knee. “I hear you. You’re not at a point where a relationship is good for you or your family. That’s ok. You don’t have to be in a relationship you don’t want to be in.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship with her.”

“You just want to do what’s right for your daughter. That’s perfectly fine and Lena will understand that. I just think it would do both of you well to have this conversation between the two of you. She’s not going to hold anything against you, it’s not her style and I think you’ll find that she appreciated the honesty.”

Kara’s lips twist. “I don’t want to upset her.”

“The only way you’ll truly upset her is by allowing her to continue essentially dating you without dating you and leading her on. You guys are having dinner and sleepovers. You can still do all of that but until you state that you’re doing those things as friends, she’s going to have hope there’s something more and that’s just as unhealthy as getting into a relationship when you’re not ready to be in one.”

“I hear you.” Kara looks her dead in the eyes to convey just how sincere she is. “’ll talk to her the next time I see her in person. I think that’s a conversation to be had face to face.”

Sam squeezes her knee. “Good call. Thank you.”

“No, thank you. I think I needed to have this talk with someone. I just wasn’t expecting it to be with my new boss in the middle of a workday.”

Sam stands up, offering a hand to help Kara up too. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t expecting it either but Lena’s my family and I have to look out for her. Usually, I’d just threaten you but unfortunately, I kind of like you so that’s not happening. It’s a shame really, I’d love to scare you a little bit but you’re too nice and you kind of have a good head on your shoulders.”

Kara has to disagree with the last part of that because she did not have a good head on her shoulders when she did what she did that led to her meeting Lena but she’s not about to expose herself to Sam like that. That would end with Sam dragging her to the lake on the other side of the park and holding her under until the bubbles stop.

“Thanks.”

“Alright, let’s get back before people start questioning whether or not you got the job by canoodling with the boss.”

Blue eyes roll without her even thinking about it and it earns Kara a little shove.

“I’m going to teach you how to use the oven when we get back.”

“You better make sure there’s a first aid kit lying around then.”

“There is and I’ve made sure there’s a fresh page waiting in the accident logbook too just in case. You did great this morning and there’s no reason for us to drag our feet on getting you thrown into the mux in the kitchen. You’re better than you think.”

Kara smiles, her head ducking. “I think I’ll keep this job; it’s going to give my ego a good boost.”

“I can always make you mop the floors for eight hours straight.”

“After working for Cat Grant, that sounds like a joy.”

“Fuck, breaking you is going to be hard.”

Kara laughs and it makes Sam break out into a chuckle too. She’s going to really like this job, she can tell.

-

Kara grabs her bag as soon as she’s finished cleaning up. Sam did try to tell her that she didn’t really have to stay the extra few minutes but she’s not one to go back on her word and since she and Sam did take a long lunch, it’s only fair. She’s a team player and she’s not one to leave the team picking up the slack so she can goof off.

She’s gotten along with everyone so far and it turns out that the potty-mouthed chefs in the kitchen loved her attempts at swearing because having a small child has definitely changed her. She used to swear a little but never excessively but once Lori was born, every swear got adapted and it’s quite funny watching a woman drop ice cream down herself with a cry of “Barnacles!”.

It turns out that the accident book only got one new addition too so Kara’s taking that as a win. She’s only got a minor burn on her pinky where she accidentally set a towel on fire moving a pan but she’s not going to do it again because she’s already been made fun of for it enough that she’s never going to forget it again. None of it felt malicious though and that’s all that matters. One day down and she’s already in a better environment than before.

She’s all prepared to get the bus home but when she steps out of Reign, she sees Winn waiting there with his hands in his pockets. “Hey, Danvers!”

Her eyes light up and her hands fly up in a double wave. “Schott, Schott, Schott!”

He pulls her into a tight embrace and sways her slightly. “In my quest for knowledge of your first day at your new job, I came to the understanding that it is easier to extract information when in a private vehicle rather than a land submarine.”

“You’re nosy so you came to pick me up.” Kara shakes her head. “Also, I told you to stop calling buses land submarines, it’s weird and unnecessary.”

“No can do, buckaroo. I parked up the street, come hither and tell me all about your first day, I want all the deets.”

“You’re so annoying. I have half a mind to just leave you here and get the bus home anyway.”

Winn pouts. “I waited fifteen extra minutes for you because you were late out and you want to leave me here? The tragedy.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, now spill.”

Kara gives in and starts walking him through her day, purposefully not adding any details about what she and Sam talked about. The next person she talks to about that is Lena and Lena alone.

-

The week flies by faster than Kara could ever have expected it and with each day that passes, she finds that she loves her new job and is improving more and more every day. There’s only been one day this week she hasn’t spent at least six of the eight hours of her shift in the kitchen and that’s because two of the bartenders were sick so she had to focus on helping out there rather than the kitchen.

She doesn’t mind a bit though because everyone has been so nice to her, all of her new coworkers have been great to her and she’s loving every minute of it, even the dullest of jobs and nastiest of customers don’t hold a candle to some of the things she put up with over the years when working at CatCo and not all of it was Cat’s fault, even though a lot of it was.

The place was rife with self-absorbed assholes willing to hurt whoever it takes to get their name on a byline and earn the most money so being somewhere where none of that is evident is like a breath of fresh air.

She’s just finished her last shift of the week and she’s got a couple of days off now to hang out with Lori, something she’s thrilled about because while the job is great, her feet are killing her from being standing up all day so at night the most she’s doing is chilling with Lori on the couch playing games, reading or watching movies and that’s all well and good but her daughter loves to run around and play and she’d like to be able to do that with her.

Alex has been nothing but supportive and has been asking her to tell her all about her day every night over dinner and it’s been nothing short of lovely being able to talk about her work without it becoming a bitchfest and having to listen to Alex telling her she deserves better.

People always say that kids are smarter than we give them credit for and Kara has never been surer that it’s true. Lori can tell she’s already happier and where she would give her lots and lots of cuddles before to “make Mama feel better” she’s now giving them to her to “feel as happy as Mama.” It’s delightful and it makes her heart ache at the same time knowing that Lori knew she was miserable before.

She’s also been messaging Lena throughout the week too and it’s been a bittersweet experience. Now that she’s got it confirmed that Lena likes her too, she’s thrilled because who wouldn’t be excited when finding out their crush is also crushing on them? The bitter part comes from having the knowledge that they both like each other but they can’t do anything about it in the way she wants.

She’s got plans for a game night tomorrow though and while it’s technically Winn’s turn to host, Kara invited Sam to come and she’s bringing her daughter too so Lena suggested her place because there’s more room for everyone and there’s no way they would all fit into Winn’s tiny apartment.

They aren’t heading over to her place until six though so they have the full day to do whatever they want to do as a family before they hang out as a group.

Lori is already asleep and Alex is dozing on the couch beside her as she reads one of the books Lena bought her and with every page turn, she feels her gratitude amplifying. Lena has gifted her an escape she’s been craving for a long time but barely even had the time to process her need for. Reading has always been a key part of her life and yet she can count the number of books she’s read in the last year on one hand so having this opportunity to relax and let herself get swept away in someone else’s life and leave her worries behind for a couple of hours is everything she’s needed and more.

She’s so enthralled by the book that she gets through the majority of it in one sitting and she’s only stirred out of her own little bubble by Alex stretching, her legs making their way into her lap as she turns over. Kara adjusts herself and Alex’s legs a little so she’s more comfortable but settles back into her book because while it’s late, the soft comfort of the quiet and the physical grounding provided by her sister is everything she needs to round out a good week. The first of what she hopes to be many.

Kara ends up waking up to the smell of the fabulous new book smell she wants to make a candle out of. Her book is on her face, her nose making a very good bookmark, and Alex’s legs are no longer across her body.

She must have either fallen to one side in the night or Alex lay her down as much as she could because her legs are propped up on the couch beside her and she’s at a bit of a strange angle, her back pressed into the corner of the couch and her neck stretched back into an awkward position, the weight of the book not helping her avoid neck pain in the slightest.

Her neck cracks as she lifts her head up, her thumbs tucking into the pages of the book so she doesn’t lose her page though she’ll probably have to skip back a couple of pages when she goes to carry on reading because there’s not a chance in hell she’ll actually remember what she was reading last night right before she fell asleep.

Slipping a receipt into the book as her bookmark, she looks over at the kitchen and sees Alex filling up two mugs with coffee and a cup with milk for Lori.

“G’mornin’,” She mumbles, her brain still trying to fight its way into the waking world. “Coffee?”

“Good morning, sunshine.” Alex brings her the mug of coffee she just poured her. “The coffee is nice and hot, feel free to have another ten minutes to sleep if you want to while it cools down.”

“Why? What have you done?” Kara questions, clarity finding her as she shakes away the last clutches of sleep.

Alex shoves the mug into her hands, “Why don’t you believe that sometimes I want to do nice things for my baby sister without it being because I’ve done something?”

“Because never once have you done something nice for me without it being because you’ve either done something wrong or you want something so, which is it?” Kara is happy to have the coffee but Alex is definitely freaking her out.

“That’s so not true.”

“Yes, it is.”

Alex shakes her head again. “I completely disagree, anyway, you’re eating into your sleep time, I’m going to go and check on Lori now, she was just stirring when I just started the coffee so you know we don’t have long now before we’ve got to entertain her. “

“I’m good. I’m just gonna sit here and drink my coffee while Auntie Alex does the work because she’s done something wrong.”

Alex folds her arms and clicks her tongue. “Not true but since I’m a good sister I’m going to go and do it anyway. Chillax, sis.”

She strolls away confidently while Kara stares at her back and mouths in confusion, “Chillax?”

They decide to take Lori down to the pier for the day and then she’ll undoubtedly be tired by the time they get to game night and will hopefully fall asleep early. Fingers crossed anyway. Kara and Alex take it in turns showering before they head out and Kara gives Lori a bath but other than that, Alex handles all Lori’s care and it takes a while for Kara to get it out of her what she’s done but she does learn that Alex’s ironing skills leave a lot to be desired and she now has one less shirt.

She isn’t really mad about it though, Alex isn’t usually the one to do the laundry because she’s so bad at it but since she started her new job, Alex wanted to do something nice for her and it didn’t pan out. She’ll let this one slide.

They take the bus to the pier, two actually, but it’s not a painful ride with books to read to pass the time. Kara keeps an eye on Alex as they walk to the bus stop and then again when they get off the bus at the pier and they start to walk. She’s not had the opportunity to check in with Alex fully about her recovery in a while other than the generic questions which get brushed off with moderate ease and she’s not had much of a chance to watch her closely as she walks either so today is her chance to assess for herself how Alex’s recovery is going.

Kara makes a point to let Alex walk ahead of her and simply meanders on behind her and Lori, who is holding her aunt’s hand and bouncing around excitedly as they walk along the wooden planks towards the end of the pier where they can look out over the glossy waves of the sea.

There are a few things she’s noticing, the most important being that she’s walking much better than she was before. She really worried her before and yet here she is walking again and doing a great job of it.

Her gait is a little stilted, one leg straightening more than the other when she steps forward and she favours one leg over the other but she’s not panting or getting out of breath and she’s not so much as glancing at any of the benches they pass because she’s not feeling the need to sit down and have a rest.

Alex must be taking her doctor’s advice seriously and resting as much as possible and sitting down at work wherever she can but Lena is, no doubt, a large part of that because she’s very obviously a big fan of looking out for the people she cares about.

Ugh, Lena. Kara still has to talk to her and she’s not certain she’s going to have adequate time alone with her to talk today and even If she does find the time, she doesn’t want her to be left alone after being rejected but she also doesn’t want her to have to pretend she’s ok if she’s not. Maybe she should work out a time with Sam so she can be there for her afterwards.

That makes her feel big-headed though, like she’s expecting Lena to be heartbroken over her. No, that’s not possible, Lena will be fine. She’ll find time today and if she can’t she’ll ask her to meet for lunch sometime in the week.

Alex looks back and cocks an eyebrow at her. “Did I pass your test, Doctor Danvers?”

“What? I have no idea what you mean.” Kara lies, upping her pace so they can walk side by side, each of them taking one of Lori’s hands and periodically swinging her and making her fall into fits of giggles that definitely add a few years onto their lives.

“I have no idea what you mean.” Alex mocks her, her voice going all high and squeaky before she goes back to her normal tone. “Such a liar. You were watching me.”

“I know, I just wanted to make sure you’re really getting better. I know I haven’t really had as much time to check on you but I should have made time, I’m sorry. I let myself get caught up in everything and I’ve not been here for you as much as I should have been.”

Alex waves her off. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot more than I have because I never once felt like you’ve been absent in any way, Kara. You’ve been here for us both as much as you can and I’ve got no complaints other than the creepy way you just watched me walk. I’d prefer if you didn’t do that, it’s weird.”

“How else am I supposed to check your progress?”

“Ugh, I don’t know…ask?”

“You always lie and say you’re fine.”

“I usually am.”

Kara points at her. She’s got her ‘a-ha’ moment. “Usually.”

Alex pays her no mind. “I stand by what I said and while it is usually alright, the times it’s not, are times when I get to prove to myself that I’m still strong.”

“The strongest.” Kara mumbles. “I’m sorry, I know I’m interfering when you don’t need me to, I’m just worried about you.”

Alex’s head tilts to one side. “Why now? Why are you worried now?”

“I don’t know, I might know when we can afford therapy but until then you just get to deal with my weird mood swings and overwhelming need to check on the people I love.“

Alex snorts. “It doesn’t take a therapist to know that you have attachment and abandonment issues, sis. Want to use Google to fix them?”

“Sure but if it tries to tell me I have cancer, I’m giving up.”

“Deal, now look at the ocean, maybe run Lori up this pier to get her energy out and if that doesn’t work then you can play fetch with her.”

“She’s not a dog.”

“I never said she would be the one fetching anything.” 

“Have I ever told you just how much I dislike you at times?”

A hand on her shoulder sends her almost toppling right over as she is on the receiving end of a harsh shove and then Alex is running with Lori in tow, the pair laughing hysterically. Kara’s heart is fuller than it has been since before the accident. There’s a lot of room to grow but for now, this works.

Get the next chapters weeks in advance on my Patreon here!

Find out more about a new Supergirl fandom event for writers and artists here!

[devilscreekballad]

Help the author get their life back on track

Hello everyone.

As you likely know, I am not in a good position right now. I talked about how I lack the bare necessities in my apartment and how that is taking its toll on my mental energy, which in turn has a devastating effect on my creative stuff.

The situation is thus:

I am without a job and can't get one either due to various frustrating factors, health being one of them, another being living at... not the ass of the world, but if you head towards to light at the end of the tunnel that would be where you'd end up.

Anyway, my financial situation is dire. You people helped a lot in the past and got me out of some tight spots, but unfortunately the worst bits remain:

My teeth, and my apartment.

I talked about my teeth, so here's the issue with my apartment: It is -nice-, don't get me wrong, but it isn't a home yet, due to never having been able to get furniture (new or second hand) to store away everything proper.

For the past 13 years I've been living out of laundry baskets, moving stuff from one surface to the next if i needed one of them, and not being able to cook when I did laundry, cause the only space to dry my stuff is in the kitchen, in an are so small I can't even dry one load of laundry in one go, but have to wait about 2-3 days till everything's dry.

All of that is really getting me down. I feel pathetic and helpless, and I just can't do it anymore.

So, I am asking for help.

My k0fi is here:

Click Me For Coffee

Below is stuff I need to make my apartment a home and get myself back on track:

tumbledryer and new washing machine

wardrobe/closet (this has to be customemade (IKEA) due to my bedroom being cut very unfortunate and not being able to fit most off the shelf closests)

kitchen and livingroom shelves

fridge (I'm decently certain mine is close to going BOOM...)

potentially a new stove (same situation as the fridge)

Worst bit is, all of the above is still cheaper than getting all my teeth fixed, and I hate everything about that.

Sorry to be like this. Please, if you can help, do, I want to get back to writing without my brain noping out because we can't dry laundry while cooking.

Sorry

[holylottie]

aquarium dome.

cursed!Cove Holden x reader

warnings: father-son miscommunication, cove got the curse but cliff got the sadness, kyra and cliff together for lore needs, monarchy, reader is the heir of rapunzel's tale, cross-posted on ao3.

summary: Cove Holden is the heir to the tale of Beauty and the Beast, a prince who is known to hate any royal event. You can share the feeling, but not directly with him, Cove is almost unreachable! 

But no worries, you are not alone, you can share your thoughts with C, your mysterious friend who sits on the highest shelf in the library every evening.

p.s. hiding from oneself is not a very e-fish-ent move.

Cove hopped down the stairs, his ocean green locks flowing freely. Reaching the end, he came across a room full of furniture-like employees passing by from all sides, the sight made his stomach turn. But it wasn’t long till his worries eased, in the middle of that coordinate dance of organization was his mother, and her presence was more than enough.

“Baby!” her smile was so big that Cove couldn’t contain his own “I’m sorry about the fuzz, gotta get everything ready for the big night!”

The previous smile got a little smaller, royalty balls weren’t his favorites. No event with royalty was if he was being truly honest, but he did his best for the sake of his parents.

“I promise you don’t need to be socializing for too long, okay?” She hugged him by the side, checking the clipboard on her hands “go get yourself some food! An empty bag cannot stand upright!” 

The boy chuckled, walking straight to the kitchen. He wasn’t a fan of eating at the table in the morning, it was all too lonely. In fact, that big place looked lonely all the time ever since…

Well, ever since his father decided to take refuge in his office.

The new chef made some pretzels for him, eagerly trying new things everyday to win Cove’s paladar, but the young boy remained faithful to Mrs. Potts, his favorite cook. Most of the time, he didn't know if she really cooked better or if he was unintentionally sabotaging himself to his preferences.

It didn't matter now, she could cook either way.

“The king is eating in the dining room, would you like to make him some company, your highness?” 

Cove's head moved so fast in the direction of the servant that the world seemed to twirl for a couple of seconds. He didn't even remember to nod and thank the man, his legs taking him fast, afraid his father could vanish. 

“Dad!” 

He cheers, but his voice gets progressively lower seeing that his father was already up, cleaning his hands.

“Oh, hello, darling” Clifford gives him a side smile, pressing his lips. And cove has to contain himself to not take the butter knife and cut the tension out.

Two beasts staring at each other, the unspoken words deciding who was going to be the prey.

“Are you gonna come back to your studies?” uncertainty in every letter.

“Yes, the clock is running against me.” Cliff makes a sad chuckle and if the son wasn't so busy in his own insecurities, would have noticed the kind essence behind the king's eyes. “gotta go, darling, have a nice meal. Excuse me.”

“There will be no glory for this family, you should let that animal go.” 

Both men stopped on their tracks for a second, but the king paid no mind to his child's words, leaving the room. When did you stop sharing bonbons? 

The young prince sat in the luxury chair, his hunger long gone.

He was the prey today.

You were on the other side of the city, sitting at goldilocks restaurant. It was even more beautiful at night, the large chandeliers and the many flowers distributed throughout the place made it an unique environment.

The food menu made Leandra jump for joy, she had finally taken some time off from the sea and prayed to Poseidon that this time no one served sushi as Lizzie had at their last gathering.

She could only complain about the smell still making her nauseous, and how the poor little fish got through so much pain to not even be cooked.

“My feets are simply killing me!” Lee said while sitting by your side. She put her and your drinks on the table. 

“I told you to choose the other one…” Elizabeth singing-said, joining you two at the table “But let's go to the subject directly: ball attire!” 

The lady opened a huge smile, without being able to contain her hands.

“I am torn apart between blue and pink, to be honest…” 

You and Lee shared a look, you two could give your opinions but everybody in that table knew that Lizzie would wear the one she liked in the end.

“I'm really excited, so much time since the Holden's had a ball!” Lee shared, quickly changing her expression “do you think Cove's gonna show up?” 

Elizabeth and you took a moment to think.

In your humble opinion, you disagree with every single colocation that anyone on the royalty circle had. But when it comes to the beauty royalty, you were even more the black sheep. 

Cove Holden seemed to live in his own world while the others wandered the earth waiting for his next move, authenticity flowed through the few poppy branches in his green hair. It was his personal garden.

You thought everything around him, about him, was so amusing. Definitely a mystery, but intriguing just the same.

“Hopefully he will feel comfortable enough to.” you answered, without giving time to them to add anything “what about your friend, Liz?”

“What friend? Miranda?” 

”No, silly, Baxter!” Lee was the one who answered. 

Lizzie huffed, not minding the jokes, but done with only talking about the new student.

“He is my friend, why is everyone so pressed about it?” her eyes rolled “I get it, I get it, he is the prince charming heir, I got the princess role, but basically everyone in Epilogue is royalty!” 

Your other friend pressed her lips together seeing the outburst “I'm sorry, Lizzie, I didn't mean to upset you.”

The oldest shook her head, taking a deep breath and pressing her long nail in one of her fingers.

“No, no, I'm sorry, I didn't want to sound so mad. It's just...If I'm gonna sleep for a hell of eternity the least that people could give me is some liberty to make my own choices while I can, don't you think?”

Your hands were quickly to find hers, receiving an appreciative smile. You knew about complicated destinies.

“Well, I never saw anyone manage time better than you, but if I can say something, eating ice scream is the best deal to make!” 

Laughs were shared between the trio, and the rest of the afternoon was light-hearted conversations and clothes search.

Shortly after, you all went to Epilogue. The school had its baobab doors open and the talking cricket welcomed everyone.

You said goodbye to your friends, having the first period free to collect your books and decide which extracurricular activities you would engage in this year.

The library was your first step of the morning, but without a specific book in mind, you started wandering through new categories that would satisfy your curious brain.

"How the lines of fate works", "Destiny: cause and correlations”, "Horses".

Horses?

You couldn't think that much about the topic, a pile of books crashed onto the floor a few meters away, you started following the direction but stopped when an alarming voice asked you.

“I've got this, please, don't worry” they said. 

They were on the other side of the shelf, the last one of the right side. 

“Is everything alright there?” you asked, waiting for they to get out, but that didn't happen “do you need any help there?”

“No, thank you, I'm gonna stay here for a while.” it was your answer “But I would appreciate it if you stay in your side.” 

“Oh, okay” it was confusing, maybe they had a embarrassing situation going on “Well, so I will stick around and make you some company”

“No, don't worry, you don't need to do it” 

Your face broke into a smile, they apologized a lot. 

“You will be making me company in the same amount. And even more, making new friends on the first day sounds awesome.” you sat on the floor.

“We should begin by the beginning, it is always the same anyway” your voice got a little louder, afraid it wouldn't reach their ears “I'm y/n, how about your name?”

A few mutters escaped their mouth “Hm, would it be okay for you if you just call me him? Or he?” he shrugged, insecure in his ask 

“That is more than alright, don't worry, I won't meddle in” you answered “Maybe we could decide a letter for you?”

“I can work with C!” his voice got less worried and if you pay enough attention, you could find a happy tone

“We should start with simple questions then, C.” you tried to keep the conversation going “do you like flowers?” 

“Yes, I do!” his voice got excited “I have my own garden! My favorite is the poppy, but I like the yellow ones only”

You scrunch your nose, confused

“How can it be your favorite if you only like one color?” 

Your parents and you lived in the center of the town, but on a no-way-out street. They were requested to stay close, even though they were almost always away in the lake house. 

“Eugene! How can that be a cat?” you heard your mother's voice complain playfully.

“You gave me creative liberty!” 

When you entered the living room, your father had puppy-eyes to you and your mom was seated haphazardly on the couch.

“Do you wanna see my mimic, sweetie?” 

“From my mother's experience, I think I do not.”

“Meow-ch” he answered, tossing himself by your mom's side. 

You walked in the kitchen's direction, but stopped once you saw pre-packed lunches on the table.

“no.” 

“y/n, you have to try it again…” your mother pleaded.

“I can not! Is it that hard to understand, I just freeze!” your voice became hoarse easily.

Thinking about your biggest fear was enough to upset you.

“It's okay, we can go on little steps” they both went to the kitchen, taking you in their arms “slow and steady, hm?" 

“Like a chameleon!" Eugene's added.

Things weren't solved with a simple hug, but you're glad to have people around you to make it a little easier.

A failed try was still a try. 

All of your attempts to hide your new mysterious friend from your not mysterious best friend had the same result: failure. 

Derek is, without a doubt, a terrible liar. For a time, you were almost sure that he could be Pinocchio's heir, until you witnessed his green magic. 

But here's the thing about terrible liars: they are great at figuring them out.

“Okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but you can't believe that I will believe this hard-to-believe excuse.”

You smiled, he certainly spoke more than his tongue.

“So I don't have to tell you?” you arched one eyebrow, thinking the whole conversation was very amusing.

“Well, no, I mean, I'd be happy for you to tell me, completely happy, but I'm certainly not going to be mad if you don't.” He smiled at you “Even if I think the wise thing to do would be to tell me, if it is bothering you, it's definitely too much of a burden to carry alone.”

You laughed, nodding your head in denial, could ever be a conversation where Derek didn’t worry?

You two headed to Cinderella’s class, a non-regular dance lesson, but that was held every week before a ball. Author forbids anyone to ever miss a step in these routines.

Derek and you were a little bit late, too busy in your own conversation to carry about the ticking clock, and once you two entered the room, the boy by your side was scooped by the teacher. She knew Derek was the only one polite enough to not decline dance in front of the whole class, even if he hated all the attention on himself.

However, you didn’t stay alone for too long, another person was late. One point for destiny, zero to your indecision!

Immediately, the music started playing, and you looked to your partner.

Well, destiny must be really up for the competition, cause offering you a hand was the Holden Prince. A very uncomfortable prince, but looking incredibly charming nevertheless.

Two points for destiny, zero to your insecurities. You felt like a fish out of water so close to a big member of the royal council.

His face was flushed, more red than the roses you saw in the path to your house, and the previous duo-dance transformed into a trio. Him, you and the deadly awkward silence between. 

He didn't mutter a single word to you and once the teacher dismissed the class, Cove was the first one to take his bag and leave.

You made a mental note to complain about it to your library friend. 

The last lesson of the day was Introduction in Princesology and you couldn't think about a more boring class. 

Sitting on your usual spot, you waited for your desk-partner. Placing your books and pencil case on the table, you notice a little note glued to the support part of the table. 

“Delight me in your presence? — C” 

It was a simple yellow paper, adorned with a beautiful sketch of a poppy and a happy fish. 

A wave of happiness went through you, and you suddenly got up from your seat. 

Which could be normal unless you are in the middle of a class, with the teacher making a practical example on how to spot the difference between a regular frog and an enchanted one.

She looked at you with a big question mark on her face. The same expression as everyone in the room.

“gotta go. Headaches.” you said, leaving the class, not giving enough time to your body swallow itself in embarrassment.

A few steps were all you needed to head where you were needed. 

You entered the library already complaining, and sat on the floor, not failing to notice that this time a new rug adorned the floor.

“I just, I can't do it!” you said, frustrated, adjusting to the rug “I literally ran away and I mean, going in the wrong direction would have me dead! How can I be a suitable heir in these conditions?” 

Your friend gives a loud laugh, but quickly hides it with a fake cough.

“Are you seriously laughing at me? I thought this was a safe place to vent!” you said, not really upset.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it! It was stronger than me!” he apologizes 

“It's okay, don't worry…” your hands started making patterns in the soft fabric. “I'm glad I could make your day a little better, but my problems aren't really that bad, I'm improving my singing skills, it's all I truly needed.”

“You need to be a singer?”

“No, no, no” a little chuckle escaped your lips “I just need to be able to sing one healing song, nothing much…” 

He didn't say anything for some time, and if you didn't know he was up in the shelves, you would have thought he was gone. 

“You mean your song can make things come back the way it was before?”

“Well, kind of, I guess.” you shrugged, you never really had to explain it before, and finding words to it was harder than you thought. “It’s more like healing what once was damaged”

It was quiet for a while again, but it didn’t bother you this time. You started to learn that his silence sometimes said even more than his words.

“Do you think you could help me with something?”

This time, you were the quiet one. Getting up from your previous position, you tried to get closer to the voice, worried about him.

“Are you hurt, C?”

“NO! No…” he quickly added “I-I’m, it’s just… it’s very complicated.”

“I like complicated stories, you shouldn't spare me the details!” you sing-said, already finding a more comfortable position to listen.

“Well, I guess I already revealed a lot about myself anyway…” 

C was thinking on the best way to start, at least that was how you take his silence.

“It all began not so long ago, in a not so far away land. The king had a nice marriage and a happy kingdom, not much more could be asked for in a simple man’s eyes, but he had a secret wish in his heart, that claimed his whole body and soul: to have a golden heron that wandered around his realm.

He went on long journeys away from his wife, trying to capture the golden animal. Until the ball in celebration of the queen's birthday came, and as her gift, she pleaded to her husband to forget about his wish, and he promised to, even if he didn’t understand her pleas, it was just a gilt bird, for who could ever learn to love such a beast?

But the golden heron was his deepest dream, he wanted it more than anything. He said it to his wife before they even married. More than anything. 

After a few days of discussion, he thought that the best was to just leave it aside, to hide his ambition.

Until, he spotted the animal close to the sea. The royal ruler's land was full of living mazes, plants and trees everywhere, which confused the poor heron. The king shoots a straight arrow, craving it in the animal's heart.

It didn't last long, in his sight the heron was long gone, switched into a naked woman. His wife. The sky closed with dark clouds, a rainstorm starting.

He asked for her forgiveness while she asked the moon god for mercy. Yet it was all for nothing, the moon god condemned the man to be seen as he was. 

A beast in the body of a man locked in the form of a beast. 

The god made his daughter a statue. A material memorie of the beast's choices, holding a red poppy until the beast was able to find someone to truly love him. Until he was able to love himself the way he was deep down…”  

You thought there was more, the history made you want to understand every single detail, did the king loved the queen? How about all the rest of the kingdom? Did it end up happily? C didn't give you anything more.

“I think I like your version better. If I am condemned to be the way I am, I would rather do it all by myself in a tall tower” he said, from the top of the library shelf.

You took a moment to fully comprehend his words, still processing the tale. Who was the beast? How did it affect C? How could he wish to do all of this on his own?

“What about your parents? You can't talk to them about it?” 

He said something that you couldn’t catch, not hearing an answer back, he repeated it, louder “They never saw it. I never showed it to any of them.”

Even without wanting, your face contorted into a deep frown. It must be hard doing it all alone. You still couldn't imagine him a beast, everything about C was gentle.

“Not that I don’t have their support, but mom is most of the time some miles away for her queen duties. And my dad…” he stopped for a moment, in the silence, the only thing you could think of were the sound of bubbles “my dad tries his best but he’s just not the same anymore.”

His voice had a feeling that you couldn’t catch. Maybe it was the kind of mix of understanding and grief that only parents could give.

“Isn't it ironic that both our lives were doomed by flowers?”

For a few moments, you both were lost in your own musings, without knowing that we're sharing the same thoughts.

“Perhaps we could find our own seed. Make sure it grows happily.”

You smiled. C's own personal garden was now yours too. 

“I have nightmares about it. I think I'm afraid of becoming something worse.” 

He confessed and your father's wise words echoed in your mind. You took a little longer than him to gather the words, but you hopped to help that same way.

“You know, when someone passes for such a hard thing like you do, they have a lot of fear, and this fear doesn't come out all at once. They get out little by little, with every little laugh and hug you receive.” you said, mentally praying it would fit in C's context, your hands move freely while explaining, even if he couldn't see it “so these nightmares are the little amount of fear that your body is still holding. But you don't have to worry, one day it will all go away.” 

“I guess I got to laugh a lot then!” the secret friend answered, holding to the little by little part.

“Well this is your lucky day! You have me to do it!” 

He playfully laughed, charmed by your cheers. 

The silence grew comfortable once again.

“Yeah, I think I got my own golden heron.” he whispered, smiling gratefully. 

The reunion of Parents and Tales was a gathering between guardians and professors that happened every two months. The objective was to make everyone aware of the semester routine, events and the student's grades. 

You find it boring but always come to spend time with Derek or Lizzie, except for today, cause the second your feets passed through the door, you excused yourself to the library. 

And we're there for at least one hour, without having any need for it to end.

“I will give you twenty crowns for you to tell me which you prefer.” 

“You can't buy my sincerity! That is a hideous move!” his words were interspersed with laughter

“Okay, I will just choose it then.” 

His silence was short, followed by a sequence of “What is it? What is it? What is it?” 

“Getting a handful of these brings a joy you've never felt, but don't leave me in your pockets because I may melt! What am I?” 

You said the riddle, waiting for his answer.

“You brought me chocolate?” 

His voice didn't carry the joy you mentioned. Actually, suddenly C sounded down. 

“You don't like chocolate? I bought you the cherry one, but I can give you another flavor or…” 

"I can't do this. I can't, I can't, I can't…” 

C's voice suddenly stopped with a loud thud in the background, making your whole body shiver. Your brain was so filled with uneasiness that you didn't realize where your legs were taking you. You broke the promise.

You had got up, running to his side of the shelf.

And once you were there, in your sight was the prince.

Well, he did have a crown. 

But he also had fins, gills and scales. 

An ocean green fish, a moorish idol looking like in a round aquarium ornate with gold. In tiny steps, you get closer and closer, seeing that his little left flipper had an even smaller pink scar. 

“No! No, no, no, you gotta leave!” he said. The fish. C. Cove? You didn't even know how to refer to him. 

“Do you…can I…do you want to be held?” you kept going forward and back, afraid of passing any limits.

Cove could only mutter, and once you saw a puddle on the floor you started to freak out, losing any common sense.

“It's okay! It's okay! I'm going to help you, cove” you got close enough to have his little bowl in your hands, trying to equilibrate him for no water leaking. “You gonna be okay, I promise”

And this promise, you intended to never break.

The night of Holden's ball came. 

The last time the palace looked that illuminated and perfectly decorated was when the heir was born. 

Walls with expensive fabrics, floral arrangements in every corner and crystal chandeliers adorned the entrance hall. 

The principal saloon had a huge dance circle, a big table that went from end to end with an enormous variety of food, but what made it perfect for a party was the impeccable vitrales that the room had. No other place in Grimmwood could ever compare to the beauty of the Holden's windows.

In the left corner of the room, a white staircase resided, shaped like a C, and you need to be honest, a curved ladder gave a nice touch to the architecture. 

Not that you could focus that much on the building. Going down the stars was the Prince, his ocean green hair was looked by a fish golden clip, his attire was on the finest finary: a white ruffle shirt decorated with a golden and red brooch, matching with dark pink trousers. 

The Holden family got together for the pics, at Merlin's request. 

The camera facing Cove, his father's arms around his shoulders and every single person's eyes on that room were on him, and he couldn't breathe. He suddenly couldn't breathe. 

The young boy's smile faltered, and as soon as the flash went out, he left the room, going to the stairs to find refugees in his mother's personal library. 

He missed the sound of steps behind him, Clifford was in his tail, following him with a worried look. 

The boy reached the second floor, entering the first door he could find: his father's office.

“you know what? I can't do this anymore!” Cove cried out.

Cliff closed the door behind him, watching his son pace around the room.

“You are still the king you were before! Still an egotistical man!” Cove's hands move exasperatedly, all his body attempting to emphasize his despair “you still only seek glory!” 

“You changed ever since the cursing! You are not the same with me.” Cove’s words got through his dad's skin, piercing his heart more deeply than any dagger could, making it seem easy to kill a beast. “You never looked at me again. Not truly.” 

The ambient got quiet for a while, until faint sobs were heard.

The king was…crying?

“It was my fault. Your curse was mine to take upon.” Clifford couldn’t hide the aching in his voice “I left you for a couple of minutes, I told you to not touch the fallen rose, but you’re such a young and curious kid, and now you’re doomed to this suffering like once I was. I had my time to accept that my claws were claws, but how can I forgive that your little fingers would soon fade into such tight grips? That I couldn’t protect you like I was supposed to? Oh, Cove… I would rather have this kingdom succumb to ashes than see you face the mirror with fear. I had to do something, That’s what I’m researching. No magic is powerful enough to be unbreakable. Definitely not with the strength of my love.”

Cove’s mouth got dry, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t feel anything beside his burning eyes.

“Even for the pain that comes with being different, sometimes, I miss my ugliness, and I think that some people may miss it too.” The older Holden took a deep breath, looking through the stained-glass window. “It's easier to be hated and love for afar than let yourself experience any good thing that you sort yourself undeserving. I didn’t want you to ever feel what I did during those years.” 

Clifford shocked his head, trying to focus on the topic and gather his thoughts.

“But none of this is ever an excuse for what I did to you. My fears and regrets are many but not one of them regards you… I mean, except for the absence ever since it happened. I’m sorry, Cove. I truly am.”

And that was the first time in a few pages that father and son looked at each other in the eyes, the first time they were in the same paragraph, paying attention and trying to understand the other's notes.

“I really apologize about that, my darling. The last thing that my monstrous heart wanted was to put you in any kind of pain.” Cliff gave a sad smile “I love you endless, from the tips of my claws to the end of my nose.”

“You don’t love me till the end of your forehead?”

“Well, considering that my thought was that the best for you was to not have me around to focus only on the cure, I suppose that my head isn’t the best place to receive love right now.”

Cove shrugged “I think that's what makes it the most needed place.”

The dad’s eyes watered once again “There is no creature that your heart couldn’t ever bend.” 

You went outside, your legs and mind aching for a rest that only a comfortable bench in a silence garden could provide. You kept walking, looking at the ground once you saw the crying statue that the Holden palace had. You were afraid that looking at it for too long would make you cry too.

You wandered aimlessly, your feet passing through to the living gates without a care in the book, that was until your attention was caught. In front of you was a red poppy field, an impeccable courtyard that you couldn't take your eyes away from, lured to the shining petals. 

“Don't touch them!” 

You jumped, having his hands on your shoulders quickly, but the panic was soon gone, you recognized Cove's voice, only this time, you could also see him. 

“Sorry, they are incredibly pretty” you apologize, even if his voice is nothing but worry for you.

“Yeah, the moon god has some mercy after all…” He said, not looking directly at you, but not able to face the flowers too.  

“Thought that some fresh air would do some good.”

“Already cut your hair?” he moved his gaze to your head.

“Couldn't handle the sweat.” you laughed a little, smiling wider to him. “How long have you been here?” 

“A little bit. Couldn't stay that long…” 

“Well, you did try your beast.” you smiled, trying to catch his eyes.

He stopped for a minute, confused if you meant if or got a wrong letter. The prince gave the first true laugh of the night.

“The stars in the palace seem brighter than the ones in the city.” you commented, trying to keep the conversation going.

“Oh, these are not stars” the young boy smiled, and you realized that there was something even brighter than the constellations lighting up the place “they are firefly's in lanterns” 

A garden seemed like a suitable place for both of you to talk, little by little Cove's roots and yours were intertwining and the silence that grew between you two served only to water the comfortable relationship. 

Cove got up and stopped a few feets away from you —and the field—, swinging his body softly by hearing the melody from the party inside. He was looking you directly in the eyes for the first time. It was a night for a lot of first time's for him.

“Care to dance with me?” he gave you a shy smile. 

“I can't hear anything, we can't dance without a song!” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The young Holden stared at you in a funny way, you could almost see his brain searching for solutions. Until his lips started moving, he was singing?

He comes close to you, giving his hand in offer while making his own melody. 

You chuckled, bowing slightly and accepting it, and found yourself in the same entranced feeling from before, but your sight was even more amusing and bright.  

It started as a classic ballroom routine, but soon you entered the song making an energetic duet, twisting and turning around the garden, resulting in an exciting dance, as if the steps were engraved in both your minds. 

The song got progressively lower, and once you and Cove came face-to-face, he approached your ear, in an barely audible voice, whispering

“more than anything."

[telomeke]

TAG GAME – THIS OR THAT (BOOKS)

I was tagged by @colourme-feral (at this post here) and @neuroticbookworm (at this post here). Thank you sweeties! 🤗💖

I really should be doing something for work (deadlines are crashing all around me) so of course I'm going to do this tag game. 🤣 Helps that it's a short one.

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THIS OR THAT (BOOKS)

hardcover or paperback // PAPERBACK – they're just easier to handle. But I do try to get my cookbooks all in hardcover, because they last longer.

bookstore or library // BOTH. I love losing myself in a bookstore (one of my favorite memories is curling up in an armchair one chilly fall day in a secondhand bookstore in Ithaca, buried in an American-Chinese cookbook from the 60s that had very credible recipes). But libraries have great reference sections on all sorts of things (I found 100-year old Tamil-French and Tamil-English dictionaries in one, that were much better than the modern one Tamil-English one I’d bought).

bookmark or receipt // RECEIPT – I never seem to have bookmarks handy and I'm not going to make a special trip to buy one just because I'm reading a book. Especially not if a scrap of paper (envelopes, notepaper, receipts) conveniently at hand will do the job (and allow me to jot down notes too).

standalone or series // BOTH – I'll read anything and everything if it takes my fancy.

nonfiction or fiction // NONFICTION most of the time, but the odd work of fiction will also work its way in every now and then.

thriller or fantasy // FANTASY has the edge here, but I wouldn't turn down a good thriller if I was recommended one.

under 300 pages or over 300 pages // BOTH – I can do a long tome if the subject interests me. That said, Lord of the Rings was a trying read but I finished it anyway, if only to be able to say that I'd read it through.

children's or ya // Um, CHILDREN'S? This is an odd one for a grown-ass adult to answer. But as I said before I'll read anything if it piques my interest, so I wouldn't turn down a young adult novel if it was good. But I tend to think children's books are actually quite hard to craft and make interesting, and have a lot of respect for them. And a lot of my favorite works are children's books, so I'll lean toward the younger end on this one.

friends to lovers or enemies to lovers // I don't have a strong preference on this one. But I like enemies to lovers in BL, so maybe that…

read in bed or read on the couch // READ ON THE COUCH. Please. And I mean this as an injunction as well as a statement of my personal preference. The bed is only for sleep and… bed things. NOT reading for hours on end (a few pages at bedtime to wind down doesn't count; that's my second nightcap). Nor is the bed for food; crumbs and spillage, ugh. Any wonder I hate the idea of breakfast in bed? I repeat – for extended reading, go read on the couch.

read at night or read in the morning // BOTH – why restrict your reading time?

keep pristine or markup // KEEP PRISTINE – if I like a book I'll want to keep it enshrined and unbesmirched in the bookcase. I've bought new copies of favorite cookbooks that had started to look worse for wear, just because I wanted them looking unsullied on the shelf (but I didn't throw out the old working copies though; the stains and rips are evidence of how much they're loved and they have pride of place on my kitchen counter).

cracked spine or dog ear // NEITHER – I used to leave my books spine up and flat out, but stopped doing that years ago. And no to dog ears as well. Both go against the preceding guideline of keeping things pristine – if you liked the books, treat them well and you'll have the pleasure of their company for a long, long time.

Currently reading: Nothing in particular (unless you count a foreign language kid's book that I've been reading off and on, as part of language study with the English language counterpart by my side for reference). Most of my reading is done online nowadays, and it's focused on news articles and current affairs.

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I always tag too many people – it makes me feel so guilty leaving anyone out. I know only too well what it's like not to be invited to a party! And then I tag all and sundry even if it means making a nuisance of myself, if only to spare people that feeling of being on the outside looking in (that still haunts me way after my teen years). 😬

Anyway, sorry for unloading my teenage/young adult trauma on you! My last tag game post had dozens of tags, so I'm going to grit my teeth and tag only a few people in this one (whom I didn't tag the last time around). No pressure to play if you don't want to; and if you do want to play but I didn't tag you, please know that I would love to read your responses so do play along if you wish, and tag me so that I can read your post! 😍

Tagging:

@imminentinertia @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle @wen-kexing-apologist @ranchthoughts @ranchtastic

@starryalpacasstuff @7nessasaryevils @relativelydimensional @blogiamgoingmad

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Here's a clean-slate version if you'd like to play:

hardcover or paperback // bookstore or library // bookmark or receipt // standalone or series // nonfiction or fiction // thriller or fantasy // under 300 pages or over 300 pages // children's or ya // friends to lovers or enemies to lovers // read in bed or read on the couch // read at night or read in the morning // keep pristine or markup // cracked spine or dog ear

Currently reading:

[revisitnormal]

asher's dubious bastard ramen recipe

are you like me, someone who both fucking loves ramen and also can't make the real deal to save their life?

boy do i have some good fucking news for you

I never measure jack shit, which is a bit of a shame because I know folks like specifics in recipes, but I have faith in your ability to improvise. Ready? Ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything I used for this I just had chilling around my kitchen. It's mostly very flexible, and (save for one extremely key ingredient) you can use whatever you have sitting in your kitchen for this to work!

First off, toppings

In order to make packaged ramen a closer cousin to the real deal, you gotta add some toppings. This also has the added benefit of making it into A Whole Meal instead of just noodles in broth.

I have a specific list of the toppings I use, but that's just because I'm a very picky boy. I'll throw on some thinly slice some mushrooms and scallions, add some chicken I cooked up, and poach an egg in the broth to finish it off.*

Other recommended toppings I've seen are: nori, bamboo shoots, American cheese, kimchi, spam, bean sprouts, bok choy, sriracha, frozen veggies, and more.

Truly, you can put whatever the fuck you want on this bad boy.

Next, the soup

We've got our toppings all chosen and prepped, now it's time for the star of the show.

First up is the chicken broth. If you can get your hands on it, I'd recommend one of the "bone broth" labeled ones. To my knowledge, all stock/broth is bone broth, but they seem to have put some extra effort into these bad boys. In any case, if you can get good quality chicken broth you should use that, as it's the majority of the base.

Now I like things to have a bit of spice to them, so I add a dollop of gochujang (a Korean chili paste) and some pre-grated ginger (I use the kind in a tube, but that's just because I hate doing dishes and didn't want to grate it myself.) I didn't add that much for this ramen, but you can adjust accordingly to your desired heat level.

You'll also need a little pat of butter, the seasoning packet from the ramen, and some soy sauce.

Then, the Secret

Gelatin. Powdered gelatin.**

You know what gives ramen broth its delicious body? What makes it velvety and delicious and hearty? Yeah they make that ingredient in powdered form and it's indefinitely shelf-stable. As I was grabbing the instant ramen pack I saw it gathering dust in my pantry and went ".....huh"

Folks this is the one non-negotiable ingredient in this secret recipe.

Luckily, unflavored gelatin is really easy to come by in the baking aisle of your local grocery store.***

Finally, the process

Gather your toppings. Wash and slice what needs to be washed and sliced (mushrooms and scallions), cook what needs to be cooked (chicken), and set aside things that can't be added yet (soon-to-be-poached egg.)

Get some chicken stock heating on the stove. Add in your gochujang and ginger, as well as some of the instant-ramen flavoring packet and soy sauce to taste.

While you're bringing the broth to a boil, bloom your gelatin according to instructions. Generally, this means sprinkle over cold water and let sit for 1-5 minutes so the granules can hydrate properly.

Add your brick of noodles to the water once it boils, keeping an eye on it. While the noodles are still a bit undercooked, use tongs to take them out and put them into your serving bowl.****

Once your noodles are safely moved and your gelatin fully bloomed, turn the heat off.

Transfer a few spoonfuls of broth into your gelatin water and stir until dissolved. If it's not dissolving, you might need to add some more hot broth, or potentially the gelatin didn't bloom long enough (which I don't know how to fix.)

When all the gelatin is dissolved, pour the mixture into no-longer-boiling broth, add your little pat of butter, and stir to combine.

Crack an egg into the broth and put a lid on the pot to trap the residual heat while the egg poaches.

When the egg is done (???? minutes later? I am so sorry), transfer everything into the serving bowl and top appropriately.

The end!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know this is a super bastardized version of real ramen, but when you want something similar but don't have the cash for the real deal this version is still pretty darn tasty. I hope your instant ramen turns out as delicious as mine did, and I'd love to hear if you decide to give this a try.

Love,

Asher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Frozen corn and bean sprouts also join the mix when I have them, but bean sprouts go bad faster than I can eat them and I always forget to check the freezer for ramen ingredients. Sometimes if I'm feeling fancy I'll toast some sesame seeds, but only sometimes because of Textures™️

**I only used powdered because that's what I had, but I don't see any reason why you couldn't use sheet gelatin instead!

***If you're a vegetarian/vegan, make sure you check to see that your gelatin is too– not all of them are.

****The instant noodles' structural integrity is dubious at best, and will turn to mush if you let them cook all the way.

[explore-my-subconscious]

No one else is here. There are echoes of them. Environmental storytelling. A half-eaten sandwich, posters advertising events long passed, messy beds. I've walked around the neighbourhood many times and it never seems the same. But it never seems different. Each time I walk, it all looks new to me but when I think back and traverse my memories, everything seems to match. There are no birds in the sky. The wind is quiet, it is a rare occurrence and is weak when it sweeps through. The leaves barely rustle. Sometimes the faint squeaking of rusting metal is heard somewhere nearby but i never see anything move.

Sometimes when I'm bored, I'll walk to the train station. The train looks brand new but the doors have signs of rust where I have used my hands to haul myself in. I like sitting on the seats and imagining the people who once have occupied them. I know they were here once. A brown briefcase rests below a side-seat, a laptop is open somewhere further down the carriage, even though it doesn't turn on anymore.

The sun stays in the sky. Its always at the same angle no matter which window i look out of.

I have some favourite houses i hang out in. The upper left bedroom of brick-house-with-blue-roof-number-12 belonged to a young boy who liked basketball. He must have been a good player because his shelf above the desk holds many trophies. Some are simple and cheap-looking. Made of plastic. Some are a bit weightier. The one in the middle is made of wood. They have carvings on them, which i imagine held the name of the once-boy but no matter how hard i squint, i cant seem to make out the letters.

The clock reads 5:16pm.

Sometimes the clouds change. I never see them move but I'll glance up and notice an extra one here and there. Sometimes there are less than before.

I've never heard a child's laugh. Sometimes i walk past the park and imagine what it sounds like. Sometimes i swear i can almost hear it. If i did, i wouldn't know. There is a handprint in the sandbox, next to a pink plastic shovel. Sometimes I can't see it, the gentle breeze covers it with sand. Sometimes it comes back, always in the same place.

I never go very far. I don't know why. I want to go to the beach and see the ocean, I've heard its beautiful.

The house next door belonged to a girl. She liked eating microwave pasta, her kitchen cupboards are full with it. I've never tried it before, I don't want to impose. Maybe she will come back one day and notice if any went missing. I think she had brown hair. Her hairbrush on the corner of the bathroom sink has some brown hair in it. Maybe she had a dog.

I found a diary once. It was a light purple colour and had fake feathers on the sides. There was a fake lock on it. I don't remember reading it. I know the owner hated sports classes. I've never read the diary. She wanted to be an astronaut.

The sun looks the same.

The train is cold. The metal is cold and hard. It is perfectly pristine, it looks the same as the day it was made. There is a brown leaf on the floor inside it. The leaf is missing the left half, some of the veins remain on that side. The black briefcase sitting next to a closed laptop has scuff marks on the corners. It looks like it is dropped a lot.

I want to see the ocean. I'll go tomorrow.

I walked past a mirror yesterday. I don't remember what my reflection looks like. It was a long time ago. I haven't seen a mirror in a while. There was a plastic hairbrush. It was pink. The mirror was covered in sand.

Sometimes I see a school when I walk around. There is a basketball on the court in the yard. I can see it through the fence. There is gum underneath the bench outside. I sit on that bench and look at the basketball court. Maybe the once-boy practiced with friends during lunch. There is a sandbox in the back corner of the yard.

I once found a purple diary there, buried under the sand. The owner liked microwave pasta.

I love microwave pasta too. The clock says its 5:16am.

Did you tell them yet? You were supposed to tell them. That was your job but you forgot. You failed. You have to tell them soon. You have to tell them soon. You have to tell them soon. You have to tell them soon. You have to tell them soon. You have to tell them soon.

You failed. You forgot.

[surveysand]

twelve.

When someone sneezes, do you say “Bless you,” or “God Bless you?” bless you. Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? no. i'm in a relationship, but wouldn't have done that even when i was single. How many times have you been to Wal-Mart/K-Mart in the past week? none. What are two things you are excited to do in the near future? move into my new apartment and go to a concert in a few weeks. Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche’ or worth watching? i've never seen it.

Do you ever put condoms in old people’s buggies at the store? no? is this something people actually do?

Name one reason you go to a pharmacy regularly for? to pick up a prescription. What radio station could you not resist turning it to in the vehicle? none. i'd rather listen to my own music. Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? apartment. Do you wear sweaters in the Winter or hoodies, more often? hoodies. Are you kind of a loner? Do you like being alone? i wouldn't classify myself as a loner, necessarily, as i do talk to and hang out with people on a regular basis. i do, however, love being alone when i need it. Are you one of those people who like to spell out numbers? yes, lol. it looks neater to me.

Is there an animal in the room with you right now? What kind? yes, a dog. Did you or do you still have a Furby? Was/is it annoying? i had one when i was child. it mainly sat on a shelf in my room. Whats one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? a bike race where people are mostly or completely naked, lol. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouse’s names? no. Do you hate nosy people who ask too many personal questions? it depends on time, place, and how well i know them. but generally, yes, someone like that would annoy me. Name one lyric from the song you’re listening to/the last one you listened? "can't breathe whenever you're gone." Do you have a fax machine? Do you ever use it anyways? no. Does your kitchen table have placemats? If so, what colors are on them? i don't have a kitchen table currently. my kitchen in my apartment is too small to fit one. Do you know how to sew? Whats your favorite thing to sew? no. Have you ever owned a turtle? Did it ever bite you when you owned it? no. Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you dont like? no. Who was the last person (if anyone) you said Happy Birthday to? my dad. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? no.

What color are the walls in the room you’re in right now? off-white. Has your school ever had a lockdown? If so, for what reason exactly? yes, but only for drills. Do you enjoy it when your school has drills? (ex/fire or tornado drill?) no, they always made me incredibly anxious. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? i don't think they really care what i watch, lol. i'm a grown woman after all. Do you have any siblings who still believe in Santa, and are over age ten? no. What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? white. Do people call you a big mouth sometimes? Or more than sometimes? yeah, i can get very loud and am generally quite outspoken, lol.

[notalexhorne]

I think, as of right now, the apartment is about as done as it's going to get without spending money to finish it. Things remaining on the to do list that require money to be spent, which I don't feel like spending at the moment include:

Fixing the sofa so it doesn't eat you when you sit down (~$50 upholstery foam)

New frame to turn the spare bed into a day bed (~$100)

Kitchen shelves so I can store all my bullshit (??)

The shelves are proving the be the hardest one to pin down. I've already found the first two, and have them in my Amazon cart. We've got an awful galley kitchen, which are the worst kinds of kitchens, and ALL of the cupboards are corner units, so the entire time we've lived here pretty much everything has just lived out on a collection of kitchen tables because that's the only way to make anything accessible, and I hate it so much.

There's also a bunch of little projects I want to do, since moving everything around has kind of brought them to my attention. I've already do a lot of them, like fixed the closet door in the bedroom, and the blackout curtains in the front room, and repaired the shelf that's sat collapsed for about a year. Next on my list is stripping all the paint off the dresser and repainting it, and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with it. Right now it's Ennui Beige and covered in Zumies stickers, because that's how it came when it was given to us. I'm thinking either red and black, or something with Stuart Semple's paints, but idk. Red and black would definitely be cheaper, and would go with the bedroom a lot better. Another option is getting some contact paper and doing a mixed media thing with it or something. That might be really fun, but I'd have to find something I really like I think.

[yanderedreaming]

Daddy issues

Pairing: Reader x Step dad Toji Fushiguro.

Warnings: Step dad, manipulation, mentions of cheating and death, daddy kink, smut, dark content, dub-con.

Summary: Your mother marries the man of her dreams. One day she goes on vacation with her friends leaving you, her 19 year old daughter, alone with your step father.

Word Count: 3.2k

MDNI

Your mothers new husband Toji was everything she wanted in a man. According to her, he was a tall hunky beast she could never get enough of, yet he was the perfect husband who was kind and funny. She couldn’t see how Toji was a walking talking red flag, he would ask her for money every now and then, probably taking advantage of the fact that she was a rich widower. He would constantly be out all night and come back drunk to satisfy his urges before leaving once again.

This stuff never bothered you as it was her life, she was used to being walked over by men and it was quite the norm. But the one thing that made you hate him was the way he would look at you and make every effort to touch you when your mother wasn’t looking. Or maybe she was, it wasn’t like she cared anyway.

At first you thought it was an accident when he brushed past you when you were standing in the kitchen, his torso pressed a little too hard against your back, or when he walked in your room without knocking when you had told your mother you were going in for a shower. But things got clearer when you realised it had become an everyday thing, Toji never passed up an opportunity to touch your delicate skin. He would come up behind you when you were stacking the plates and putting them in the top shelf, his chest firmly pressed against your back as he took the plates out of your hands and put them in the shelf instead.

You complained to your mom rather implicitly, not wanting to go into the details but she would always brush you off and tell you, you were imagining things. Even going as far as saying why would he be interested in you when he has me? Yes. Your mother was immature and too full of herself, part of you knew the only reason she kept you around was because you were the one who inherited your fathers wealth, your paternal grandfather made sure of that. You leaving would mean your mother would lose the steady flow of income in her bank account.

You were 19 and still living in your mothers house, well it was yours but you lived with your mother, and her husband Toji. You wanted to leave and get your own place, but your mother wouldn’t allow that. She knew if you started living on your own, she would lose the money she got off of you that funded her expensive shopping sprees paired with the fact that she was still mentally a teenager. Part of you didn’t want to lose the only family member you had left so you opted to stay home and take your classes online, the pandemic really did help you with that.

“I’m going to the Paris for a week!” Your mother chimed, “A shopping trip with the girls is a need at this point!” She was over the moon, the borders had finally opened up and she wasted no time in planning her trip. “That’s great baby. When will you leave?” Toji asked, “Hmm.. tomorrow? I just didn’t want to waste a single day. I got tired of shopping at the same stores in Tokyo.” She said acting as if the pandemic had disrupted her life significantly.

“That’s perfect actually! You deserve this baby. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything here. My baby deserves to have the best trip with her girls!” Toji said grabbing your mother by her waist and pulling her close. Hearing Toji’s encouraging words made her all the more excited. “You can’t just leave me here” you exclaimed, mad at your mother for acting like a literal 16 year old. “Oh no! Baby!! Toji’s here! You just focus on your studies! You won’t even realise i’m gone”

Your face turned sour, how could your mother even think of leaving you here with him, after all you’ve told her. Sure, she could ignore everything and tell you you’re paranoid, but isn’t there something inside her that’s telling her leaving her 19 year old daughter alone with a man like Toji is the worst possible idea she could come up with?

“But mom!” You whined, your mother replied, “Y/n! No buts. Don’t you think I deserve a trip after all thats happened?” You sighed in defeat. Nothing you could say could change her mind, you’ll just have to see if you could crash at a friends place.

The day of her flight came and your mother left. You and Toji were standing outside the door, waving your mother goodbye. You didn’t waste a second to run back to your room to grab a duffle bag you had prepared to crash at your friends. Toji just stood there lighting his cigarette as you walked out. “Don’t forget your keys.” He said and you mentally slapped yourself for forgetting to grab them. “Won’t be here to let you back in whenever you plan on getting back” he said exhaling the smoke from the cigarette he had puffed.

Curiosity got the best of you and you asked him where he was going to which he replied, “A week long bender with some old pals. You’ll have the house to yourself so lock up.” He threw the cigarette butt and stepped on it before walking back in. Nodding, you walked over to your car to get to a hotel where you’ll spend the week.

The first 2 days were fun, eating takeout for every meal was nice, but you started to miss your room and the home cooked food you were used to eating. Your stomach couldn’t handle this much takeout and you started regretting your decision to stay at a hotel. You drove back home and saw it was empty, just as Toji had said, and got cooking. This became a daily thing for you, you would come back to cook food, eat it and leave after cleaning up.

It was already day 6 and you decided to check out of your hotel room and go back home, Toji wouldn’t be back till tomorrow afternoon, around the same time as your mom would be back so you didn’t see the problem.

As soon as you got home, you crashed on your bed. The hotel bed was comfortable, yes, but nothing compared to the feeling you felt when you were in your own bed. Slowly you started to drift off to sleep and before you knew it, you were fast asleep

You were a light sleeper and a sudden dip in your bed caused you to wake up. To your horror you saw Toji sitting on the foot of your bed staring at you. You jolted up and grabbed a pillow to throw it at him, he dodged effectively but remained still, not coming close to you. “Get the fuck out of my room!” You screamed at him. “Look. I just want to talk to you.” You interrupted by shouting at him once again, “Y/N ITS ABOUT YOUR DAD. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW?” He shouted right back at you, you were started by him raising his voice.

“Just-“ he shut you up by playing an audio recording on his phone. It was your moms voice, you decided to listen in when you heard her take your fathers name. Her recounting the day your father tragically lost his life. She had always told you it was a traffic accident, but the recording said otherwise. “I got involved with the head of this gang, he was hot and i didn’t want to the perfect wife Ken wanted me to be. I thought I could just have a little bit of fun you know.” You never knew your mother cheated on your father, how she would leave you with him at night and go off doing whatever she wanted with all these men made you sick to your stomach.

“Ken found out, and well. He didn’t want Y/n to grow up in a broken home. He lived that life and he said he would do anything to make sure she lived the perfect happy life. He found me at the gang members office and asked me to come back, one thing led to another and one of the boss’s lackeys just shot him.” You let out a sob hearing your mother recall the final moments of your fathers life. His last words to her were, “take care of Y/n.” To think the last thing your father had thought about was a 1 year old you. That he lost his life trying to secure your happiness and your mother was the cause of your misery. She had lied to you your entire life. How could she?

Toji shut off the recording and spoke, “Your mothers mouth can ran a 100 miles an hour when she’s under the influence.” He chuckled lightly before continuing, “your dead father was quite the gentleman. Asked for your mothers hand in marriage and vowed to give the two of you the best life you could imagine. It takes guts to do that when you’re two teenagers trying still in high school. “ Toji scooted a little closer to you, placing a hand on your thigh, rubbing it lightly, “he still stood by your mothers side after getting disowned by his parents. Got 2 jobs and took care of you while your mother ran free.” He said. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” You said through gritted teeth. It wasn’t the fact that he was speaking ill of your mother, it was just too much to take in.

“Y/n. I didn’t mean to upset you. Just thought you should know.” He said lightly tapping your thigh before getting up and turning his back to you. “Heck, i’m a shitty father myself, but i would never leave my kid with the person who makes them feel unsafe.” Toji said, adding insult to injury. “But your mom just kept on shutting you up, telling you that you weren’t as hot as her so there was no way I could ever be interested in you.” You lowered your head onto your hand, your forehead resting on your palm as you continued to cry. Everything you had been holding in all this time just came out, all the emotions you had been bottling up, the tough facade you put up all came spilling out.

“My dad. H-he di-died because of. Because of m-me” you said in between sobs, the thoughts of how he wanted to make sure you never had to live the life you were living now came back to you. “Its not your fault.” Toji said sitting back down on the bed, this time right next to you. His hand went to your back and he started rubbing soft circles on it, his other hand went to your chin to raise your face. He looked at you with soft eyes, as if he could feel your pain.

“If anything, its all your mothers fault. Hating you for ruining her life, then being the reason your dad passed away. Bringing in all those men and prioritising them over you. That’s just cruel.” Toji’s words hit you hard, it was true. Your mother had all these new men prancing around your house, she was too busy chasing after these men to take care of you. She was the reason your childhood had been taken away from you, forcing yourself to mature quickly and take care of your own self.

“Even now. She prioritised me over you.” Each time he spoke, you became increasingly angry at your mother. It was all stuff you felt before, but hearing someone else say it just pissed you off even more. Toji’s hand, that was placed on your chin, moved to wipe the tears off your face a sympathetic look in his eyes as he spoke the next few words. “Your mother cares more about her own self and me as a matter of fact.” he brought his face closer to yours and kissed your forehead, the hand he had placed on your back moved lower till it was at the hem of your tank top, playing with the fabric, his fingers grazing against the skin underneath.

“I can see how upset you are. You know, you could get back at her. Revenge is so satisfying. You’ll be able to get back at her for taking your dear father away from you.” As much as you wanted to smack him for saying such twisted things to you, you kept on repeating the word revenge in your head. You knew what he was getting at, and at this point you didn’t care. You wanted to take away the things she chased after, you wanted her to know how it felt to be cheated on. You wanted her to be in pain for all the pain she caused your father, you wanted nothing but revenge at this point.

Toji was staring intently at you, trying to understand if the words he said affected you at all, not sure if he should say anything more as he could see you were at your tipping point, any further and you might just explode. You moved your hand to his chest and began rubbing it, his chest was rock hard, you knew just how buff this man was, but you were going to see him in all his glory first hand.

You moved your hand to the back of his neck and pulled him closer, covering the rest of the distance with face, kissing him. He was quick to wrap his hands around your waist and slam you to the bed, his hands had a tight grip on you holding you as close as possible, as if he was afraid you would run away. 

Your hands made their way down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, you sat up to remove your own tank top, but Toji beat you to it ripping it apart right there and then. His mouth attacked your chest, you undid your bra allowing him to gain access to your breasts. He sucked on them hard, trailing his tongue over your nipple while his hand made its way down to your shorts and in one swift motion they were off. He pressed his clothed erection to your wet core and started grinding against it.

You pulled him off of your chest and brought his mouth to yours, the two of you shared a lustful kiss, nothing romantic about it. You felt yourself get wetter by the second and ran your hands over his back, he was built like a beast, something inside you told you that you might regret everything you’re doing when you’d get to the main course, but you didn’t care. It felt amazing. 

Toji unzipped his pants and slid them off, his free cock now rubbing against your core coating it with your slick. Giving himself two pumps for good measure, he positioned himself in front of your entrance waiting a second or two. You didn’t know if it was his hesitation, or he wanted your express consent. Either way you said, “Are you gonna fuck me or not?” You pulled his hair to make him face you, a smirk appeared on his face as he pushed himself deep inside you. 

You let out a loud moan, not expecting to be filled up like this. You didn’t get the chance to see his cock, but the feeling of it practically rearranging your insides with each thrust told you it was bigger than you’ve ever had. 

Each one of his thrusts felt better than the one before, you couldn’t stop moaning, never wanting it to stop. He was practically ripping you apart, you didn’t even know how you were taking him so well. How you weren’t screaming and crying out of pain by now.

“You like it when daddy fucks you like this?” Toji said in between a moan, the use of the word made you feel a little something inside, this beast of a man ripping you apart, dominating you like you’ve never been before.

“Yes daddy” you said, clenching your walls causing him to let out a loud grunt, “just like that, keep on doing that.” his speed increased, it became hard for you to continue on clenching “you’re so fucking tight.” he moaned in your ear, taking your earlobe in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. Just as you could feel yourself about to come, Toji pulled out. The feeling of his cock leaving you causing you to frown.

He smirked and flipped you over on your back, spanking your ass and positioning himself at your entrance once again. You pushed yourself back to regain the feeling, allowing him to take back the reins from there.

“Impatient aren’t we?” Toji said his hand rubbing your back, he was taking it slow. Painfully slow, you wanted him to speed up, you were getting frustrated wanting to get back that build up that he took away from you.

“Faster Toji!” you said, “Hmm.. I didn’t hear that what do you want daddy to do?” He asked while he slid his hands down to your hips holding them loosely, you sighed and said, “Fuck me faster, daddy” the grip on your hips tightened, his fingers places on your back dimples and he started pounding into you, your ass felt the impact of his thighs hitting it and you slumped forward desperately trying to hold yourself back up, but the impact of his thrusts didn’t allow you to do so. Your back started to straighten up instinctively perhaps as his size was a little too much for you especially in this position.

He placed one of his feet on your back to arch it back up, and continued on fucking you hard and fast, his gip on your hips made sure you didn’t move too much, and that he could go as deep inside you as he possibly could. Just as you were about to cum, he Toji took his foot off of your back and went back into the position you two were in before.

“its too much, daddy I can’t” you moaned, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you reach your climax, the feeling of euphoria that over came you was longer than you had ever experienced before. Your legs gave way and you lowered yourself down, he leaned forward, his chest on your bare back and his hands were pulling your ass up slightly and he thrusted into you a few more times before finally coming falling on you completely.

After your mother came back, you made it a point to interact with Toji a little too much for her liking. Passing him smiles, casually brushing up against him, even going as far as leaving your panties in his pockets. Your mother was in denial, she didn’t want to believe what was happening, perhaps living in denial was the best thing for her, because she couldn’t kick you out of your own house nor could she cut you off. She just had to live under the same roof as you, her husband was now spending his nights fucking the living day lights out of her daughter.

[milkacchan]

Peaky blinders x sister reader with sensory issues, sensory overload piece next dears (requests are also open ❤)

Summary and cw: Reader goes into hyper sensitivity. I do not have Autism, I do however, have ADHD. I suffer with hypersensitivity and sensory overload. This particular story is one I'm writing off perosnal experience. It affects everyone differently, this is just how it affects me.

Tommy wouldn't say there was something off about you, but he'd probably say there was something peculiar about you.

You'd always been particular about things, ever since you were a baby, he can remember. He can remember you being /weird/ with things- like texture or temperature.

And he, along with Arthur, John and polly, mostly just him and Polly, assumed it was just normal; because to an extent it was. Babies find new things everyday and sometimes they don't like them, but they grow into them.

But then it became clear you /weren't/ growing into them. There were shirts you refused to wear because if how they felt on you. You'd cry and kick and scream. You wouldn't touch cold water unless it was for drinking- and don't get him started on wet floors.

As you got older, your reactions changed. You matured and he thought maybe you'd grow out of it. He hated seeing you upset

Wishful thinking. You didn't.

Here you were, 18 and gagging over how a glass mug felt in hand.

It'd been a rough morning, starting when you'd woken up. It was too hot, for one. You kicked the blankets off and moved to get up, the cold floors instantly sent chills through your body. Shoes were the first thing on, you couldn't deal with that today.

And dressing had gone okay until you'd reached for your sweater, touching the fabric you felt yourself gag. You take a deep breath, shaking your hand before going to put it on.

It was fine then, after you'd taken a few breaths and stretched the collar and you hoped to christ you stayed that way.

Finishing your routine, brushing your hair, brushing your teeth (which was hard enough on its own), you head down the stairs. You avoid touching the railing, unsure how your body would react.

"'Morning poppet," Pol hums.

"Mornin auntie."

"There's some hot water in the kitchen, get yourself some tea." She smiles softly and continues her hike to another room.

"Mmm," you nod tiredly.

You weren't sure you'd be able to finish tea, even start it really, not with how sick you felt. Your mind flickered back to the floor and the shirt, you groaned softly. Christ that only made it worse-

"Hey now,"

"Oh- sorry Tommy." You smile sheepishly. "Good mornin,"

"Good mornin', lost in thought already? Pretty early for that."

"Wish I could stop." You hum with a sigh reaching up in the cupboard to grab a mug. You slid it off the wood shelf.

Your body shuttered and you gagged, followed by a cough before dropping the cup. It shattered once it hit the ground and you groaned, squatting and holding your head.

You vaguely heard Tommy call your name, you were too busy trying not to puke. Everything was too much now- your shoes touched wrong, you couldn't wiggle your toes enough. Your hair felt weird along your fingers and your sweater- the fucking sweater. It just sat /wrong/.

"Hey," Tommy whispers, he looks panicked. "Hey are you okay?"

"Tommy," you take a shakey breath. You could feel the gag at the back of your throat. "Get my shirt off- get my fucking shirt off," you looked at the ground, trying not to focus on the fabric sitting against your skin.

"What...?"

"Tommy pull it off!"

"Okay- okay," his hands immediately drop to the hem of you sweater and he pushes it up your torso before tugging it over your head. He tossed it to the side. You're left in nothing but pants and a bra now, heaving as you screw your eyes shut.

"What's going on?" John's at the door now, sounding just as panicked as Tommy looked.

"Go get Pol," he says simply. 

"What's-"

"Go get Pol." He hissed, sending a glare to his brother.

You slide your hand under his jacket to grab his sleeve before dropping your head to your brothers chest. He shrugs off his coat and abandons it where it drops.

"Can I touch you?" He whispers, his hands hovering over your skin.

You take a deep breath and nod. "You can try," you mumbled.

He placed a hand on your upper back, the other in you hair. You don't seem to react and he silently thanks the heavens before stroking your hair.

"You alright?" His voice is soft, laced with concern. He understood it now, you had an episode. He hasn't seen one in years, especially not one this bad.

You nod, swallowing thickly.

"Do you need a bucket?"

You shake your head and close your eyes.

"Is she alright?" Pol calls out as soon as she's stepped into the room.

"Had an episode Pol," Tommy strokes your hair and looks up. "Can you turn on the record and tell the boys it'll be a quieter day today?"

"Tommy.." You mumble.

"And get her the white shirt she has, the long sleeved one with the small strawberry on the left."

Of course he'd take care of it. It was Tommy, regardless of how you'd voice your distaste for it, hezd always take care of the situation.

"Does she need a bucket?"

"No, she's alright."

"Broke your glass Aunt Pol," you whisper. "M sorry,"

"It's alright poppet, I can get another one."

You nod slightly.

She takes off and you can here her Inform Arthur and John. You smile slightly.

"Is it happening often? I haven't seen you like this in almost two years. You just not telling us?"

Then music.

"'Not this bad," you sigh. "Smaller things though, yeah."

He nods slightly. "Alright,"

"M sorry you have to deal with it."

"Don't be, promise it's no trouble."

He takes your shirt from Polly and slips over your head. You pull your arms through.

It was a shirt he had made, it was soft, oa fabric you never seems to mind. It was years old, and you'd slip into it whenever things got to be too much, or texture just wasn't cooperating.

"Alright sweet girl," he squeezes your arm gently. "Let's move to the parlor." He lifts you as he stands.

"Tommy I can walk,"

"I know," he smiles. "I used to carry you when you were a kid though, and much less of a rat."

"Not a damn rat," you grumble, thankful when he sets you on the couch.

"You alright?" John asked worriedly.

"You don't need a bucket do you?"

"Why do you all keep asking if I need a bucket? No Arthur, I appreciate the concern, I don't need a bucket."

"So you're alright?" John asks again.

"Yes, stupid, I'm fine." You smile softly.

[when-wolves-howl]

All Of The Words Are Yours

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You take Wanda on a journey of your time together through her memories.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.7k I'm not even sorry that it's long.

A/N: This isn't an update to my Resurrection series but it is my first Wanda fic one shot. I took a break from the angst and decided that I wanted some Wanda fluff. I tagged everyone that is in my Resurrection taglist but if you don't want to be tagged in stuff like this, let me know.

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours*

---------------------------------------------------

Wanda stirs awake when she realises you no longer occupy the space beside her. The curtains are closed so the room is still dark and Wanda is still exhausted from the mission she returned from late last night. She turns on the lamp with a flick of her wrist and finds a piece of paper on your pillow and opens it.

Good morning my love,

I apologise for not being there when you woke up. I know how much you hate it when I'm not there but I had something I had to take care of. It will probably be late when you wake up, I know last nights mission took it's toll on you. You deserve to rest. So when you do wake, I want you to do something for me. Our 3 favourite places to be together. Go to them. I've left some words for you to find and read.

Forever yours,

Y/N

Wanda beams at your hand writing. She makes haste and gets out of bed to quickly change. When she's ready, she goes to the curtain to find that you're correct. It looks to be late afternoon.

Wanda makes her way to the first destination. The library in the compound. Months after the events of Sokovia, this is where you found Wanda one night, crying quietly. A small crush had already formed on Wanda, but in that moment, you just wanted to give her your shoulder to cry on.

You thought she was upset about Pietro. She was, but she'd been reading Peter Pan. His favourite. She just wanted to feel a little closer to him. You quietly announced yourself to her, not wanting to startle her and she looked up at you with tear stained cheeks. You sat yourself next to her as Wanda recalled the words you had said to her that night.

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting. Pietro has gone away but you don't have to say goodbye Wanda. You'll never forget him and he'll never truly leave you. He's here" You placed your hand above your heart.

Wanda smiles at the memory. After that night, you and Wanda spent almost every waking moment together. She thinks it was that moment in the library was when she fell in love with you. She thinks about what you said in your letter when she woke up.

There are some more words for her to find. She knows exactly where to look. Finding copy of Peter Pan on the shelf, she grabs it and flicks through its pages. She stops when she finds a piece of paper and takes it out to read.

I know magic exists

Because every time

You say my name

I fall into your

Spell and I never

Want to fall out

Of it.

Wanda hates you. Some damn soppy words and you've got her on the brink of tears of happiness. She loves you though. So much. She takes the paper and brings it to her nose and instantly calms because she can smell you. The best smell in the world. She slips in into her back pocket.

Wanda’s next destination is the kitchen. You and her had spent countless hours cooking and creating new and old recipes. Wanda was an amazing teacher and before she knew it, you were cooking for her. You always made sure there was food to be eaten after she came back from a mission without you. You had surprised her one night by cooking her some paprikash and a spread of more Sokovian food after she had returned from a mission. That night you confessed your love for her. Wanda once again recalls the memory.

Wanda walked off the Quintet and headed straight to your room while the other Avengers went straight to their own rooms. She missed you so much and she just needed to be held by you, her best friend. When she couldn't find you, a familiar smell took her to the kitchen. She found you setting the table, oblivious to her arrival.

“Y/N?” Wanda asked with a curious smile. Your head shot up so quickly, it almost gave you whiplash. You took in Wanda’s dishevelled after mission appearance and she was still the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You quickly made your way over to get and took her in your arms, spinning her around the kitchen. Wanda’s laugh rang throughout and it made your heart soar. As you gently put her feet to the ground, you kept your hands on her waist and while she draped her hands over your shoulders. “Miss me?”

“I always miss you. You’re the most beautiful thing I've ever seen” you breathed out in a whisper. You kept your eyes locked onto Wanda’s but you could feel the tension begin to rise and what you mistook for Wanda being uncomfortable, was actually Wanda trying to keep herself planted to the ground and not immediately kiss you silly. With everything to lose, you told Wanda, “I’m so in love with you. I don’t want to be just your best friend. I want to be yours and I want you to be my mine.”

Wanda’s heart beats faster at the memory. That night she kissed you so hard, you had to catch you both so you wouldn't fall over. She was so happy that you were just in love with her as she was with you. Wanda looks around the area and wonders where you could have hidden another piece of paper. She thinks she knows. Looking up to the top of the shelves, she knows a hidden jar of cookies sits there. Hidden because there’s too many greedy hands who like to put their hands in the jar. Wanda levitates up to the top shelf, grabs the jar and then lowers herself back to the ground. She sees a folded piece of paper inside the jar and takes it out to read.

With every beat that your

heart delivers, know that my own

heart beats to the rhythm of yours

God, you're such a sap. Wanda loves it. You always know what to say to make her swoon like a teenager. She carefully folds the piece of paper and puts in her back pocket and makes her way to her last destination. She hopes you'll be waiting for her there.

As Wanda exits the compound, she sees the sun slowly descending upon the horizon. Walking towards the lake that encompasses the compound, Wanda walks along the shoreline, picking up a pebble and skimming it across the water. You love doing it when you're alone here with her. After a short walk, Wanda comes to an opening. There are no trees where they should be, just a huge patch of grass that looks like it could -

“Hey baby” Wanda shrieks at your sudden appearance. Her red ablazed eyes fly directly to you but you put your hands out in surrender. Wanda automatically calms seeing your soft complexion and crooked smile.

“Y/N, where did you come from?” Wanda asked confusedly and clutching her heart. “What’s going on here?” She motions to the empty patch of land. You step forward and take her in your arms. You reach down and press your lips to Wanda’s and revel in the warmth she brings. You pull away for a moment but you don't miss the way Wanda chases your lips. She always did love kissing you.

“Did you get my letters, love?” you ask timidly. Wanda quietly laughs at your shyness. Wanda takes both letter from her back pocket and waves them in front of you.

“I did. You reminded me of all the times I fell in love with you but my heart can only takes so much, honey” Wanda replies, with a wide grin.

“One more thing and then I'll tell you why we're here. Do you remember this place?” Wanda blushes at your question. She nods vigorously. “Show me.” She then cups your cheeks and you see red wisps for a moment until you're brought into Wanda’s memory.

“No peeking!” you playfully scold as you lead Wanda, both barefoot down the shore, covering her eyes. She laughs at your attempt to cover them, while trying not to trip yourself. “Keep them closed and stand there. I'll be one second” Wanda hears you shuffling around, unsure of what you're doing. “Okay, open!” Wanda opens her eyes and gasps immediately at the sight of you laying just above the shoreline, on a picnic blanket. Theres a picnic basket, which Wanda can see some of her favourite foods poking and out and a bottle of champagne sitting in some ice.

“Dorogoy, you did all of this for me?” Wanda tries not to cry, but the hitch in her voice tell you otherwise. You nod and beckon her to come forward and sit with you.

“I know we've only been together a few months and we’ve been taking it slow but I love you and I want forever with you” you say confidently, looking directly into Wanda’s eyes who have now deceived her as tears fall down her cheeks. Wanda takes your hand and squeezes tightly. With her other hand, she grabs the back of your neck and gently takes yours lips in-between hers. Your hands instantly go to her waist and the squeeze that you give them prompts Wanda to straddle your waist, not once breaking the kiss. You pull apart to breathe and push Wanda’s hair behind her ear so you can look at her properly. You want forever with me, baby?”

“I know I want forever with you, Y’N” Wanda whispers, leaning her forehead against yours. You smile in return as you brings your lips together again. You made love to Wanda for the first time that night.

You’re brought out of Wanda’s memory and see that she has more tears streaming down her face. It’s your turn to take her face in your hands and wipe away her tears but she smiling so big, you can feel your heart swell at her beautiful face.

“You've been through so much. We both have. So I brought you here because I wanted us to have somewhere where we can relax, that’s not inside the compound. But first, read this, You take a piece of paper from your back pocket and offer it to Wanda who opens it with glistening eyes.

Our house will stand there

It waits for my hands to build it

But it waits for your hands to

make it a home. It's the house you

love, the house we deserve, the

house I know lives in your dreams

just like you live in mine, It will

be ours. Forever.

“Honey, you've really got to stop making me cry, I must look so ugly right now.” Wanda says as she harshly wipes at her eyes. You frown at her words and send your thoughts to her mind. You’re the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Wanda playfully rolls her eyes at your sweet words.

“Okay, two things. Then everything will be revealed. Look.” You point towards the open space but Wanda is confused for a moment because she sees nothing until she hears a beeping sound behind her and a small cottage appears before her eyes. It has a small porch, with two cane chairs and a small table. Two small windows that face the lake and a wooden door. Wanda takes your hand and brings you a step forward, never taking her eyes off the small house,

“What is this?” Wanda asks, barely above a whisper.

“I built is for us” Wanda turns back to you, her brows furrow questioningly. You take her by the waist and pull her into you. "I know we have our own space in the compound but I wanted us to have a home. A real home. Tony put up some kind of invisibility shield to keep us safe here so we can hide the house whenever we want. Also, I know you and Pietro had a broken home after everything in Sokovia so I just wanted something that's yours. Something whole” Wanda smiles so widely, you think if the wind changes, she'll stay that way. You wouldn't mind.

"Ours" Wanda corrects you. You shake your head and turn Wanda by the shoulders.

"Maybe not just you and me" you whisper into her ear. She leans back into you when you wrap on hand around her waist and the other on her jaw to slowly direct her gaze to where you're looking. She gasps when she sees and takes off into a jog towards the the small cottage. Wanda finds a small water feature next to the stairs of the house and water from the lake trickles down the rocks that decorate it. She finds a small plaque sitting on the on the rocks and reads it.

Pietro Maximoff

1989 - 2015

Brother. Son. Hero. Avenger

Wanda kneels before the water feature and swings her hand back and forth through the water. Neither of you are surprised that she sheds more tears. She has you and her brother here with her. She wishes her parents could be here as well. Her heart is full though. You do an amazing job of keeping it that way. Wanda hears you approach her from behind and feels your hand on her shoulder. She stands up to face you and goes to speak but you put a finger on her lips so you can say what you need to. You look her directly in the eyes as you speak.

"I came and sat with him just talked about you after I built this. I told him about the trees that were cut down here were sent to Sokovia to build houses for those in need in both yours and his name. How he was such a little shit when I met him. So god damn annoying! But how I thought that he was brave and a kind soul. He just wanted a better way of living. I talked to him about how the first time I saw you. How it wasn't love at first sight. But I did think 'damn, she's hot'" Wanda giggles at your words. "But we eventually grew in love. We took the time to make it work and I fell in love with you within all of our moments. How just so insanely in love with you I am. How when I wake up sometimes before you do and I just watch you sleep. Sometimes I forget to blink because I don't want to miss a minute of your beauty.” You once again reach into your back pocket and take out a small red velvet and kneel down. Wanda’s eyes widens and before you can even ask anything, Wanda is already screaming in your face.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Wanda engulfs you in a hug and tackles you to the ground, smothering your face in kisses.

“Wait. I didn't even get to ask yet” you pout. Wanda just laughs and kisses your pouty lips and apologises. You gently lift her off you and you both kneel in front of each other.

“Okay, maybe three things I wanted to show you. My love, everything I've said today, I mean with my whole heart. I know neither of us want to give up Avenging just yet but in the meantime we'll have this. A space for us to be together in private. Just us, baby. And Piet. I can wait for a house with you but I can't wait any longer to marry you. So will you please marry me?” You take the velvet box and open it to show a ruby surrounded by diamonds on a silver band. Wanda gasps at it's beauty and nods. You slip the ring on her finger and she brings you in for a hard kiss.

“When I said forever, I meant it too. I'm so deeply in love with you” Wanda says against your lips. You smile at the words she once said to you, along time ago, in this very same spot.

"We’re home".

-------------------------------------------------------

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@8bitscarlet @lainjupi @d14n4ol @natblackwidow2 @fayhar @a-laufeyson @pawiie @lizlil @rainbowmess-blog @jediluka @wandanatblogs @mrswidowjohansson @unexpected-character

[captains-simp]

hi! can you write a yelena x fem!reader based on best friend’s brother by victorious where reader is nat’s best friend but falls for yelena?

I love the best friend's sibling trope🤧 Yes, I used Google translate for some parts. Yes, I am sorry in advance

7k words

Warnings: brief injury description and R getting tipsy (and having less of a filter than usual 👀)

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Nat you're not going to believe what I just saw! It has single handedly made my week- whoa!" You exclaimed as you threw your hands up and backed against the nearest wall.

"Who are you?" Demanded the blonde from the other end of her gun. You glanced frantically between her hand gun and her stone cold grey eyes, not knowing which you should be more afraid of.

"Y/n." You answered shakily, your mouth and throat suddenly feeling like sandpaper.

"Yelena!" Natasha shouted as she came into the living room. "Put your gun down you сумасшедшая сука (crazy bitch)!" Yelena hesitated as she gave you the once over and slowly lowered her weapon. You didn't fail to notice how she kept it in her hands until Natasha snatched it away.

"Hey!" She argued and tried to grab it back.

"You get gun privileges back when you stop pointing them at my friends." Natasha said as she put it in the safe under the kitchen counter.

"She didn't knock!" Yelena defended with a thick accent.

You were still stood awkwardly against the wall as you watched the interaction. You had no idea who the blonde was much less why she had acted like a paranoid guard dog. Not that you were offended, being friends with someone who had a lot of protective friends and coworkers meant this had happened more than you wanted to admit. JARVIS actually had some very over the top weapons pointed at you twice.

"I don't knock when I go to her place." Natasha pointed out. You smiled nervously at the blonde when she looked over at you again.

"Well as your new roommate it seems like something I should know."

New roommate? Natasha hated the idea of a roommate and had always been very vocal about it. It was why she insisted on having her own apartment rather than living in at the Avengers compound.

You glanced around and couldn't see any moving boxes or suitcases or really anything that indicated anyone else was living there. Either Yelena had already packed or she just wanted to keep all her personal things to herself.

"Temporary roommate." Natasha corrected making the blonde huff. "Who still hasn't gotten the groceries." Yelena mumbled something under her breath in Russian as she trudged towards the door. She glanced your way once then looked back as if second guessing you. She narrowed her eyes slightly and you fidgeted on the spot, feeling nervous under her gaze.

"What did you see?" She asked.

"I'm sorry?" You replied, not knowing where the question came from.

"What did you want to tell Natasha about." You stared at her blankly for a second before you suddenly realised what she meant.

"Oh! I saw a man walking seven ferrets." You said with a fond smile as you remembered the way their leads were getting caught up as the scrambled over each other. Yelena stared back at you. "Seven is a lot." You said. She still didn't seem to get it. "I like ferrets." You mumbled as you felt embarrassed.

She didn't say anything as she looked you over one more time and opened the door to leave, shutting it firmly behind her. You released a breath you didn't know you had been holding once the door clicked shut.

"Seven?" Natasha teased with a smirk as put some toast in the toaster. You grumbled as you walked over to the kitchen island and leant against it.

"She's intense." You commented and whipped your head around to the door, afraid she would walk back in.

"She's my sister." Natasha said casually.

"Sister? What?! Since when did you- Sister?!" Natasha chuckled at your reaction and shrugged simply.

"It's complicated."

"Everything with you is." You fired back. "Look I'll tell you our life story later." She waved off. You had known Natasha for years and considered each other your closest friends. You told her everything but you understood early on that there was a lot about her life she couldn't talk about. Whether it was because it could endanger you to know or it was simply to painful to recall, there would always be something.

"And I'm sorry about her wanting to shoot you. She's a lot." Natasha sighed, clearly tired. She had been away for months and you guessed she had found Yelena at some point during that mission. She had only been back a week and clearly needed a break. You wondered if she would finally take Fury up on his promise of a vacation.

"She's just protective." You shrugged. "Like someone else I know." You eyed the redhead with a smile. Yelena honestly seemed nothing short of terrifying to you, but you weren't going to admit that to your friend who would remind you of it every chance she got.

"Trust you to defend someone who put a gun on you." Natasha rolled her eyes and pushed a hot drink towards you.

"She seems nice." That wasn't the right word and given the look Natasha gave you she agreed. "Witty?" You tried. Natasha pulled a face in disagreement and you sighed in defeat. "Whatever, she's cute though." You thought aloud. Natasha shot you a warning look.

"Don't go crushing on my sister, y/n." She said with a serious edge to her tone. You laughed at her sudden shift and fell down on her sofa to grab the remote to start binging the shows Natasha had missed with you.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

*

It was a Friday night when you saw the blonde next. The bar you worked at was surprisingly quiet for the day but you didn't mind at all. Less people meant less chance of having to deal with a drunken fight. Not that that ever really happened there.

You worked in a small bar that had been running since long before you were born. It wasn't the most out there establishment and combined with it's location on the quieter, arguably more sketchy, parts of the city, it wasn't massively popular. In fact, everyone who showed up at the bar you recognised instantly, lest the rare groups of people who stumbled upon the building. No one who went there was all that talkative, but you had come to know each of them over the years.

It wasn't that the bar itself was sketchy. It wasn't involved in illegal gambling or drug dealings. It was just that it seemed to remind people of home. You had alcohols there that you just couldn't find in shops or other bars. Behind the bar was everything from Mexico's brightest palomas to Russia's strongest vodka. The latter was what had drawn Natasha to your worn down place of work the first time you met her. While she didn't like to be reminded of her past in Russia, like a couple other customers you had, she couldn't deny she missed the booze. So you guessed you shouldn't have been surprised to see Yelena joining her that night.

"Just give it a chance will you." Natasha scolded her younger sister in a hushed voice. You smiled at the encounter as the pair came towards the bar. Everything the redhead had been able to tell you about her time away was evident from the way the siblings interacted. It really hadn't taken them long to fall back into the squabbling sisters role, like they hadn't ever been apart.

Yelena grumbled something in Russian as she glanced around the bar, her eyes soon landing on yours and just as unreadable as the last time you saw her. The memory had been playing a lot in your head.

"Hi again." You smiled at her before turning your attention to your friend. "The usual?"

"For this one too." Natasha nodded to her sister as she sat down on a stall, soon followed by Yelena.

You took two shot glasses from the shelf and put them infront of the sisters and opened a bottle of Natasha's favourite bottle. You filled the both to the brim and put the bottle on the counter, knowing the redhead wanted it there. Natasha wasn't really a regular drinker, but when she did enduldge herself she didn't seem to have a limit. You had never once seen her drunk.

Natasha didn't hesitate in tilting her head back with the glass at her lips and didn't flinch when she swallowed the drink. Yelena rolled her eyes but copied anyway.

You carried on with drying some glasses and tried not to pay close attention to the blonde's reaction. You always loved the moment that customers realised they had found the drinks of their country. And as Yelena was harder to read, it took extra attention to detail to spot the moment of realisation. Natasha was watching for it too.

Yelena shrugged. She shrugged, clearly underwhelmed. "It's good." She commented. Natasha sighed dramatically and poured herself another shot as she grumbled about never being able to please her sister.

You went back to your duties properly and shook your head with a sigh. First time for everything. However when you risked a glanced at Yelena you saw a hint of a smile tug at the corner of her lips. You grinned to yourself, deciding then that you were determined to see a proper smile from the blonde at some point.

"What's got you smiling?" Natasha asked with a smirk.

"Am I not allowed to just smile, Tasha?" You quipped back.

"I take it your date went well." You groaned at the mention of the event.

"It actually really didn't." You huffed. It was actually one of the worst dates you had ever been on. You had been giggling like a school girl when Natasha told you a shield agent had eyes for you. The two of you exchanged numbers and arranged a date but it became clear to you pretty quickly she wasn't as ready to date again as she thought she was. "She's definitely not over her ex." She grimaced. Natasha hummed in thought.

"Okay, but do you want me to key her car?"

"She paid for my coffee!" You laughed, she always had to be dramatic with her protectiveness.

"Is that a no then?" Yelena asked. You honestly had no idea if she was joking or not.

"It's a no." You confirmed with a smile.

"I'm sure I can find you someone else." Natasha said confidently. You hummed in response and watched her pour another pair of shots.

"That's okay, Tasha. Maybe you should focus on yourself and a certain other redhead." You grinned. Natasha shot daggers at you as Yelena whipped her head around to stare at her sister.

"You have a boy..." She paused and scanned her sister quickly. "Girlfriend?" She concluded. You snickered and poured a drink for another customer, focusing on him momentarily as the pair bickered further.

"There is nothing going on with me and Wanda!" Natasha exclaimed.

"The magic one?" Yelena asked with interest.

"The magic one." You confirmed with a grin.

"What's she like?" The blonde continued as she leaned forward.

"She's better than you Сволоч (jerks)." Natasha mumbled as she rolled her eyes.

"And a total babe." You added and leapt back when the redhead went to hit you.

"Y/n!" You spun around at hearing a familiar voice. Joseph, your oldest regular, was making his way through the room towards the end of the bar, a fond smile etched into the deep lines on his face.

"Hey, pal." You smiled back and went to prepare his usual as he started to chat away at you.

"You never had anything with her?" Yelena asked boldly as she tilted her glass towards you.

"Y/n?" Natasha was surprised to say the least. She had never thought of you that way and no one else had ever asked about it. "No." She chuckled, thinking of all the times you had done everything in your power just to get her and Wanda alone in a room together. "Why'd you ask?"

"I just wondered." She said as she tapped her glass in thought, grey eyes watched you actively engage in conversation with the older man. Natasha narrowed her eyes at her sister.

"Right. Just don't crush on my best friend." She warned as she poured her sister another shot.

"You got it." She nodded and threw her head back as she downed the shot.

*

You ended up seeing Yelena quite frequently. Not only did she join Natasha in coming to the bar, but she seemed to always be there when you visited your friend too. She wasn't much of a small talker, you learned that quickly, but the passing moments you happened to be alone in each others company stopped being awkward quickly.

Yelena was surprisingly easy to get along with. Once you had found a common ground of interest (making fun of Natasha) you could easily carry a conversation with her, but she was still closed off - something you were expecting given her past. There was one evening that made that as clear as it could be.

"I'm just saying the Avengers would be very happy to have you!" Natasha exclaimed with a smile as you sat giggling next to her.

"I'm not going to be a hero." Yelena waved off. She had quickly began agitated when she had nothing to do. There had always been something. Some mission. Some test. Some important training. Anything. And now she was free from the Red Room Yelena was struggling to know what she could do. You could tell she wanted to have a meaningful role, you just doubted she was going to admit that.

"There's always bounty hunting." You suggested as you flicked through the thin file in your lap. Sometimes when Natasha was struggling with a particular case file she gave it to you for a new insight. You never got a name or any big details in the files and it still wasn't entirely within the rules, but sometimes you actually helped.

"He bled to death from the stabbing, then he was shot." You muttered to the redhead as you passed the file back. Turns out being a drop out med student was good for something. While Natasha was the best of the best, she was still human and there were things even she overlooked from time to time that you picked up on.

"That's a good one." Yelena agreed as she sipped on her beer, pondering the suggestion.

"But why even go for something like this at all?" You said. Natasha and Yelena gave you a confused glance.

"I'm sticking to what I'm good at." The blonde said slowly.

"I'm sure you're skill set expands beyond all...this." You waved your arms around aimlessly. "Was there anything you remember enjoying before?" You asked curiously and Yelena instantly stiffened.

"No." She said bluntly and put her bottle down on the table. "Bounty hunting sounds good, I'll look in to it." She said as she left the living room area and headed towards her room without a second glance.

Your throat felt dry suddenly as guilt washed over you. What kind of a question even was that? She was only a kid when it happened, part of you wondered if she even remembered the part of her life before the Red Room.

"She's okay." Natasha assured, as though reading your mind.

"I shouldn't have asked." You muttered.

"Probably not, but for what it's worth" Natasha started as she went to put the shield file away "I thought you were onto something."

So you never asked about her past again, but that didn't stop you from thinking about it. You wondered if it was something she and Natasha talked about, only able to confide in one another about the nightmares they shared. Or was it an unspoken thing, something that they kept in the deepest darkest parts of their minds? You didn't expect to ever get an answer to that question.

Not so deadly assassin: THERE'S A FUCKING RAT IN MY ROOM

Not so deadly assassin: come deal with it!!!

Not so deadly assassin: Y/N

Not so deadly assassin: oh NOW you have a life

Not so deadly assassin: if you don't come over in 5 minutes I'm killing it

You huffed as you took your phone out of your pocket to see who had been blowing up your phone. You skimmed over Natasha's messages and sent a quick threat telling her if she ended the rat's life you would end hers and sped up your walk.

Luckily you were only a few minutes away from Natasha's apartment and after running up the stairs a few at a time you knocked on your friend's door and licked your partly spilt drink off your hand with a curse.

Yelena opened the door and motioned for you to come inside, seeming unfazed by your arrival and no doubt knowing why you were there. "Is she okay?" You asked as you looked around frantically.

"She just got called away for a mission." Yelena said as she led you through the apartment to Natasha's room.

"I meant the rat." You mumbled and spotted it in the corner. Yelena snickered at your comment and leant against the door frame as she watched you slowly approach the rodent.

"How did it even get in here?" You asked as you cooed and held your hand out to the rat that considered you curiously.

"Came in through the window apparently. I think Natasha wants to tear down the fire escape now." Yelena deadpanned.

"Like either of you need it anyway." The rat came closer to you and sniffed your hand before walking onto it. You picked up the small creature and placed her down gently on the fire escape before shutting the window.

"Was that so hard?" You said with a smile.

"They carry disease, you know?" Yelena fired back.

"So do we!" You exclaimed and paused when Yelena gave you a side eye. "Okay some of us." You corrected as you washed your hands.

"I hope she didn't call you away from anything important." Yelena said as she glanced at the hot drink you had left on the counter.

"I was just about to go to the pharmacy." You shrugged.

"It's your lucky day, I need band aids." Yelena declared as she picked up her satchel bag.

"Band...aids?" You questioned with a shit eating grin as you grabbed your drink and headed for the door with the blonde behind you.

"Yes, y/n. I need band aids. You're as bad as Natasha, she doesn't seem to think we need them either. We have everything in that bathroom except band aids!" You giggled as you watched her ramble in exasperation, finding it undeniably cute when she got lost in her own world about something.

"So if you're bleeding to death you'll be fine but if you get a papercut then things are gonna get bad?" You teased as you left the building. Yelena rolled her eyes at you but seemed to not be able to stop the small smile fighting for it's appearance, tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"It's a pretty big papercut." She mumbled as she inspected the cut on her forefinger.

"Well I think you're very brave." You grinned.

You walked in a comfortable silence for a while until your eyes landed on something that spiked every happy hormone in your body. "Yelena!" You grabbed at her arm and pointed across the street. The blonde was understandably alarmed at first and you noticed her reach into her back pocket for something until she saw what you were pointing at.

"Seven ferrets." Yelena muttered as she watched the small animals half run down the street infront of their owner.

"Seven adorable ferrets." You corrected as you watched them continue to scurry along.

"I can see how that could be the highlight of your week." Yelena recalled and you couldn't help but blush slightly. "I think this is the highlight of mine." She admitted.

"You're only human." You sighed as you turned around to keep walking, a content smile on your lips.

"Why don't you have pets if they make you so happy?" Yelena asked curiously.

"Not allowed in my apartment." You said gloomily. It was probably for the best, you would have a lot of pets if you could, too many to handle.

"If you think about it, rats are just small ferrets and you see those everyday. You could go find some more." Yelena teased and you chuckled.

"Haven't you heard? They carry disease." It was Yelena's turn to laugh lightly at that. You smiled proudly at causing the beautiful sound and felt your stomach do a small flip.

*

It turned out all the Avengers were keen to have Yelena on their team. Tony and Steve had introduced themselves to the new Russian one evening and bored (Yelena's words) her with stories of their latest successful missions and how great it was to be an Avenger. She didn't buy it.

Then she started getting emails and texts from the team, inviting her to different events and trying to get on her good side. Tony had even sent an extravagant gift basket to the apartment one day. Yelena had asked you to spend the afternoon sorting through it with her, snacking on all the expensive chocolates on the way as you told the blonde you thought she had a secret admirer.

It was early in the afternoon when she finally agreed to meeting the whole team.

"I just think it could be fun. I know they probably seem like annoying children right now, but at those parties they have to behave." You said into the phone as you balanced it on your shoulder.

"I don't think I own the right kind of clothing for it." Yelena said.

"I'm sure Natasha can lend you something, she is your big sister after all." You teased and heard her groan.

"You don't even have to stay long. But once you actually meet them they'll lay off about you joining if you still don't want to."

"It's just not-"

"Your thing." You finished with a smile. "I know, Lena. They'll get it." She hummed in thought and a silence fell over your phones until you cursed. "Shit." You muttered when the table leg fell down again.

"You need help putting that table together?" Yelena asked for the umpteenth time. You sighed as you sat back and glared at the parts sprawled out across the floor.

"Yes please."

*

Yelena Belova wearing a suit was something else entirely. Every outfit her sister offered her she turned down until Natasha grew frustrated and took Yelena out for a suit fitting, and god it paid off. The blazer hugged her body closely in a way you partly wished you could feel. You knew the blonde wasn't big on any form of affection, especially physical, but you loved it and Yelena had become a good friend. During late evenings when she was sitting comfortably in an armchair with a large hoodie on you thought she looked so soft and warm. You could only imagine how safe you would feel in her arms. You always had to put those thoughts aside quickly, not wanting to let your mind linger on things so intimate.

"Told you this place isn't so bad." You laughed nervously as Yelena approached you. She smiled and shook her head, her eyes looking so much brighter in the new lighting.

"I can't argue with that." The blonde shrugged and followed you to the bar.

"You um, you look amazing by the way." You said as she avoided Yelena's gaze, not wanting to let your eyes wander the way they were straining to. Unfortunately that meant you missed how she took in your attire and the admiration she struggled to hide.

"So do you." She smiled.

"Evening." Natasha said with a smirk as she came up to you and Yelena from the other side of the bar.

"This does not feel right at all." You winced making the redhead smile, more so when she prepared what she knew was your favourite drink.

"Yelena! You running away from me?" Sam grinned as he strolled towards the bar. You smiled into your drink when you saw the blonde shift on her feet in slight frustration.

"You gotta come meet Maria, you're gonna love her!" He exclaimed as he tried to steer Yelena away. She looked back at you with a face that was clearly asking for help but you just giggled as she left and waved goodbye to her.

"Has she met Wanda yet?" You grinned at Natasha knowingly and a slight blush appeared on her cheeks.

"She has." You hummed and looked across the room to spot the Sokovian in question. "And?"

"And they only just stopped talking when you arrived." You nodded with a triumphant smile, knowing the pair would get along. You missed Natasha's short analysis of your expression, trying to find the thing she knew you were hiding until someone else arrived at the other end of the bar and she rushed off.

You leaned over the bar to pour yourself another drink and started across the room. It didn't take long at all to find Wanda, or rather for her to find you.

"Y/n!" She exclaimed as she pulled you in for a crushing hug barely a second after you had turned around.

"Hey Wan." You laughed as you tried to hug her back.

"How are you, sweetie?" She asked as she let you go.

"I'm good, how have things been for you?" It had been far too long since you had seen the Sokovian and you missed her company a lot. She had such a calming presence that you always felt so comfortable around. You had told her that once, not knowing the fears she faced of her powers and the mistrust she had in herself, and she had teared up as she pulled you in for your first Wanda hug.

"So, I hear you met Yelena." You smiled after a while of catching up with the redhead.

"I was slightly terrified of her at first." She admitted with a laugh.

"She had a gun on me when we met!" You exclaimed as you remembered it clearly.

"So I heard." Wanda teased. "I also hear you guys are getting on like a house on fire." She continued as she watched you carefully.

"Yeah." You muttered as you spotted her talking to Maria. "She's pretty great." You said easily.

You spent a while catching up with various team members between drinks. You kept steeling glances at Yelena, mostly catching her in conversations she clearly didn't want to be in but a few times you caught her eye and paused to smile at her. She was always beautiful but you really couldn't get over how she looked in the navy suit.

You were sat by the bar when the party started to come to an end. You usually would have left a while ago but you wanted to be able to say goodbye to Yelena before you did.

"I'm exhausted." Came the familiar husky voice from behind you. Yelena leaned on the bar next to you and poured herself a vodka and downed the shot.

"Me too!" You said loudly with a slight slur. Yelena paused before letting a smile creep onto her lips as she watched you with an amused glint in her eyes.

"How much have you had to drink?" Yelena asked as she took your glass away from you.

"A few." You thought as you tried to calculate in your head but just shrugged in conclusion.

"легкий (lightweight)." The Russian muttered.

"Hey, come over here." Natasha called as she rounded a corner and spotted you and her sister. "We're putting a film on." She declared. You glanced around and noticed that everyone had gone. When did that happen?

"Let's go, Lena!" You called as you took her by the hand and led her through to where Natasha had gone.

"Are you sure?" She questioned as she looked down at your entwined hands.

"Absolutely!" You jumped up a few steps and saw the group sitting around the large TV on the comfy sofas.

"I missed these." You said to Yelena as you fell down onto the nearest sofa and pulled her down next to you. Natasha placed some snacks down on the table and eyed your joined hands without a comment.

You brought your legs up underneath you, not unlocking your fingers when the blonde's who didn't seem to mind. The other Avengers didn't seem to take much notice or interest in how close you were to Yelena and thanks to your slightly tipsy state you didn't bring much attention to it either. All you knew was that you felt comfortable sitting so close to the Russian that your bare arm was touching her soft blazer.

"Your hands are really soft." You whispered to her. She smiled to herself and tried to fight off the slight blush painting her cheeks that you, lucky for Yelena, didn't notice.

"So are yours." She whispered back.

What you didn't realise was that Natasha was still paying close attention to you both with Wanda smiling knowingly besides her, even when the film started and the lights dimmed. She finally stopped when she heard Wanda laugh lightly at something on screen, turning her attention to the girl besides her and then the film.

Barely 10 minutes in you found yourself growing sleepy. The dark room and the warmth of Yelena were certainly part of the cause but you found you really didn't mind, especially when your head fell onto Yelena's shoulder and she didn't shake you off.

Your eyes struggled to focus on the screen and really anything that wasn't the blonde when she shifted on the sofa to let you lean back against her. You smiled faintly as you let your eyes close and relax against Yelena, your hand still in hers.

*

You awoke when the main lights started to come back on and you felt Yelena stretch behind you. Her blazer was draped across your front and you smiled like an idiot when you realised. She had only worn it for a few hours and it already smelt like her.

"Hey." She husked and you felt a chill run through your body when her breath hit your neck.

"Hey yourself." You grinned back.

"Come on, let's get you home." She said as she sat up on the sofa.

"Can you get me a cab?" You asked as you rubbed your eyes.

"I'll drive you." Yelena stood up and held out her hand to help you up too. You took it happily and leaned against her for support for a moment.

You said goodbye to the team and made your way slowly out of the living area and eventually out the building in a concentrated silence. Concentrated for you, Yelena didn't have any issue putting one foot infront of the other.

"You guys okay getting home?" Natasha called from the entrance as Yelena helped you into her car. You gave Natasha two thumbs up and grinned her way as Yelena nodded. The redhead nodded back and folded her arms as she watched you carefully leave the building site.

It wasn't that long a drive to your apartment. Yelena drove in silence while you hummed along faintly to a song playing quietly on the radio, unaware of the smile playing on the blonde's lips.

When Yelena had parked outside your apartment complex she helped you out the car and up to your apartment, unlocking the door for you and guiding you through to your room where she lay you on the bed gently.

"You should change." Yelena said as she got some of your night clothes from the closet and went into the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

"You should stay." You grinned at her. She arched a brow at you in question but you didn't respond, only turning around on the bed. "Can you help me with my zipper?"

Yelena nodded and put the glass of water down on your bedside table and pulled the zipper down, trying to ignore the urge to see if the skin on your back was as smooth as it looked. She cleared her throat when she realised the zipper went lower than she thought, reaching your tailbone. Yelena took a step back and turned towards the opposite wall as she heard you step out of the dress and into your bed clothes.

"You should take some too." You said when you pulled the duvet back.

"You really want me to stay?" Yelena questioned, it looked like you were starting to sober up.

"Of course!" You grinned as you leaned on your elbows to watch her and patted the space in bed besides you.

"Okay." She smiled and got some clothes from your closet that she quickly changed into when you looked away to drink the water she had given you.

Yelena folded her suit on a chair in the corner of the room before hesitantly getting into the warm bed besides you. But she surprisingly felt a lot more at ease when you draped an arm over her stomach as you closed your eyes. Yelena sighed lightly at the contact. She never thought she was one for physical contact, but she had been wondering what it would be like to receive it from you for a while. Even craved it after you had held her hand earlier that night.

"Night Lena" You mumbled sleepily. Yelena put her hand on your waist to pull you closer to her and brushed a stray strand of hair away from you face.

"Good night y/n."

*

Despite the killer headache that greeted you, you actually woke up feeling pretty great. Your bed was warmer than usual and you didn't feel quite as alone as you always did in the large bed.

You rubbed your eyes and groaned but froze when you felt a hand on your bare waist where your shirt had ridden up. Yelena was sleeping soundlessly besides you and your breath caught in your throat when you took in her appearance. The sunlight seeping into the bedroom hit her face just right and you had to remind yourself not to stare, even if she wasn't awake to notice it.

You spotted a bottle of advil on the bedside table and a fresh glass of water that you took together. You tried to be careful not to wake Yelena but she started to move when you did, her soft hand slipping from your waist.

"Morning." You said after finishing the glass of water and wiping your mouth with the back of your wrist. Yelena groaned as she stretched out like a cat and looked up at you.

"Morning to you too." She smiled and you wondered if she knew she had her hand on your waist just a few seconds prior.

"Feel free to take a shower and borrow some of my clothes." You offered as you stood up from the bed and made your way across the room.

"Thanks." She hummed quietly. "Hey." You turned around by the door when she called you. "How did you sleep?" She asked curiously as she sat up to face you properly.

"Like a rock." You recalled happily. "You?"

"Yeah," Yelena smiled back, "pretty great." You nodded and made your way to kitchen as Yelena got out of bed with a content smile.

Yelena was in the shower when you started on breakfast. Usually you would have made something simple like toast or some fruit but you figured as you had a guest you should make something better and settled on pancakes. You also wanted to thank her for staying the night with you.

"That smells amazing." Yelena said with wide eyes as she trudged into the kitchen, still drying her hair. Your heart swelled at the sight of the blonde in one of your band shirts with some loose shorts. Your thought that your clothes probably looked better on her and you imagined how soft she would look in your favorite hoodie.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." She teased when you didn't respond. You snapped out of your daze and smiled sheepishly as you avoided her eye and continued to flip the pancakes. You put a plate down on the kitchen island and motioned for her to eat as you put some juice and fruit down too.

"No pressure, but what I think of you as a chef is going to be determined by these." She quipped as she started to cut the food. You smiled and turned around to watch the blonde's face change into a childish grin.

"Not too shabby." You concluded before shovelling more of the food into her mouth.

"No too shabby." You repeated with a sense of pride as you sat down next to her.

"That's what they used to say on the American shows I watched as a kid." She explained. You were about to tell her you had heard the expression before but paused when you realised it was the first time Yelena said anything about her childhood to you.

"Weren't they translated?" You asked carefully.

"No because they were copies from America. My father got them for us." She said and you noticed the far away look in her eyes, no doubt remembering that day as best she could.

"Well if you remember what the show's called we can try watch them again." You suggested with a shrug. Yelena considered you for a moment before she smiled at you softly. "Okay." She agreed. You opened your mouth to speak but there was a sudden loud thudding on your apartment door. You went to stand up to see who it was until Natasha opened the door and slammed it shut making you jump.

"I locked that door." Yelena said with certainty.

"I have a spare key." Natasha showed the metal piece before putting it back into her pocket.

"You want pancakes?" You asked as you stood up to put some more batter in the pan.

"What's going on with you two?" The redhead demanded, ignoring your question.

"What do you mean?" You and Yelena used in unison.

"You know exactly what I mean!" Natasha exclaimed as she raised her voice and looked between you and her equally baffled sister. "Are you dating? You could have told me." She continued as a hurt expression flickered across her face.

"We're not dating." Yelena said slowly but glanced at you. "Are we?" You could have sworn you heard her voice hold something hopeful rather than teasing.

"Not since I last checked."

"Can you quit fucking around and just tell me?" Natasha took a second look at the shirt Yelena was wearing before her jaw clenched.

"Oh no no no. We didn't- she just slept over!" You rambled as you started to panic. Natasha looked far from happy. You had been thinking a lot about what your friend had said the first time you met Yelena. You were never sure if she was really serious or not. All you knew was you that you started to feel guilty when your eyes lingered too long on her sister or when you felt the butterflies in your chest at her contact or really anything she did. You told yourself you kept your promise and didn't have a crush on Yelena, but it was becoming increasingly harder to convince yourself and now Natasha.

"You can tell me." The redhead said quieter as her stance softened. You looked to Yelena who seemed set on staying silent as she stared at her empty plate.

"Natasha I really don't know what to say..." You honestly didn't. You were baffled by the whole situation and Yelena was hardly helping. She really thought you were dating?

"Right, I just wanted to know." The older Russian sighed as she trudged towards the door. There was a heavy silence over the apartment until Natasha stopped by the open door to turn towards you both with a frown.

"I didn't mean it. What I said about..." She glanced around as she fidgeted in the doorway and searched for words. You and Yelena waited patiently. "Wanda said you guys are cute." A smile flickered at the corner of your mouth and you looked to the floor. "She's right." She left without another word and shut the door gently behind her. You exhaled heavily once you heard the click and leaned against the counter.

"Crazy, right?" You laughed nervously. Yelena didn't respond. "You okay?" You started filling the washing up bowl with water, needing to do something as you talked.

"She thinks we're dating." Yelena muttered.

"Yeah that's what I... that's crazy." You laughed more and scratched the back of your neck.

"Is it?" She questioned as she turned around to face you. You couldn't help but stare back at her light eyes that you struggled to read.

"Maybe not." You shrugged. The blonde looked back at the ground with a conflicted look. "No... no it's not." You concluded.

"I like spending time with you." Yelena continued. "Just hanging out, helping you put together that damn table, sleeping next to you. Even at that damn party with like one hundred people I still just wanted to be with you." She admitted and you exhaled a breath you didn't know you had been holding. "I just like being around you."

"I like being around you too." Yelena looked up and you held her gaze as your hands shook with nerves.

"Would you still like being around me if we were on a date?" She asked boldly. You couldn't contain the smile that grew at her words. You reached out and took her hands in yours as you took a step closer to the Russian.

"I would love it." Yelena smiled and stood up slowly, her eyes flickering to your lips as you licked them. You closed your eyes and leaned forward bravely, finding your hands were no longer shaking. Yelena's left hand left yours and came up to your neck to steady herself and close the gap between you, pressing her lips ever so softly against yours.

You snaked your hand around her waist to bring her somehow closer and deepened the kiss you realised you had been craving for so long. You pulled away softly and rested your forehead against Yelena's, suddenly feeling very dizzy.

"I have a huge crush on you." You admitted with a sigh, to yourself and Yelena.

"I have a huge crush on you too." Yelena laughed softly. "Can we do that date now? I think I've waited long enough." You giggled lightly and nodded your head as excitement rushed over you.

"Sounds perfect." You smiled and went to your bedroom to get changed but paused in the hallway. "You should call Nat."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[earlgreydream]

pregnant.

| loki x reader | fluff |

anon requested. Loki x pregnant reader

You woke up with terrible nausea, feeling like the world was flipping you upside down. You laid back, breathing deeply and telling yourself that you were fine. The moment you started to sit up, you felt immensely ill, your stomach churning.

You ran into your en-suite and knelt on the cold tile, getting violently sick and emptying your stomach. You felt hands pull your hair back out of your face, and you were blinded with tears.

Your throat and eyes burned, and you were embarrassed to be throwing up in front of Loki. He held your hair in one hand, rubbing your back with the other, and softly telling you that you were going to be fine.

“I think I’m okay,” you said to Loki, grabbing his forearm as he helped you stand.

“Are you certain?”

You nodded and went to the sink, cleaning yourself up and brushing your teeth. You looked in the mirror and saw Loki start a shower for you, insisting you’d feel better. You felt too weak to argue, and you managed to keep upright and wash your skin and hair.

“I’m exhausted.”

“You can rest soon, my darling,” Loki promised as you slipped on clean pajamas.

You started toward your bed, but Loki lifted you up off your feet. He carried you out of your bedroom, but you were too weak to protest. Your fingers tightened around his soft cloak as you recognized Banner’s lab, a place you hated to end up.

“No,” you shook your head weakly, and Loki consoled you as he set you down on an exam table. Banner walked over, looking at his watch.

“You’re up early. What’s going on?” he asked kindly, and you sighed, explaining that you’d woken up sick that last couple of mornings. He frowned, checking your vitals. Loki sat beside you, holding your hand and gently kissing your knuckles as Banner took a blood sample from your arm. 

You snuggled against Loki’s side as he ran some tests, consoled by the young god. He kissed the top of your head and traced tiny shapes on your arms, making you smile. 

“Y/N!” Banner gasped, scaring you.

“What?! Am I dying?!” Your eyes widened and he shook his head. 

“Quite the opposite actually. Were you aware that you’re pregnant?” 

Silence fell over the room, and you turned to Loki with wide eyes. You were anxious to see how he would react to the news. You’d talked about possibly having a kid at some point, but not soon. 

“My darling, we’re going to have baby!” Loki gasped, excitement bursting in his blue eyes. 

Relief flooded over you at his positive reaction, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“You’re going to be great parents. We can get you started on some prenatal care, and I can give you something for the morning sickness,” Banner smiled at you. 

“Okay,” you nodded slowly, still trying to process the fact there was a baby in your belly. 

A grin stayed on Loki’s face the entire day, and he told everyone in Stark Tower. You giggled at how overjoyed he was, and it helped you feel grounded, settling your worries. 

“We are going to have the most beautiful baby,” Loki grinned, kissing your lips before kneeling down and kissing your belly. You carded your fingers through his black curls, and he laid his hands on your stomach, as if he could feel the tiny fetus that was only two months along. 

The more pregnant you got, the more overprotective Loki became. He was extremely attentive, and he didn’t let you do anything that required effort. You insisted to him that you were fine, even as you started to need his help standing up, off-balance with your baby bump. 

“How far along are you now?” Parker asked as you sat helping him with his homework one evening. 

“About eight months. Not too much longer,” you smiled. 

“Then I won’t be the youngest here!” he grinned and you shook your head, ruffling his brown hair. 

“I know, you won’t be my little baby spider anymore,” you teased, and he pouted, pretending to be offended.

“I’ll always be your baby spider.”

“Finish up this page of your essay, and I’ll help you edit it, okay?” 

Parker nodded, and you stood up from the table, walking to the kitchen island to start baking the cookies you’d been craving. Loki walked in, squeezing Parker’s shoulder in greeting as he passed the boy. 

“Hi,” you whispered, kissing Loki’s mouth. 

“We could’ve had one of Stark’s chefs make cookies. You can rest, my darling.”

“I want to make them.”

Loki hummed, stealing some of the chocolate chips from your bowl. You appeased him by letting the god put them in the oven, protecting you from the possibility of burning yourself. He pulled your back against his chest, laying his hands over your stomach. Your tiny daughter kicked, making Loki smile into your hair. 

“She loves you already,” you whispered, making Loki grin. 

“I hope so.” 

Parker called your name, and you walked over to him and looked over his essay. He stayed for cookies after, hanging around you and Loki for the evening. 

“I got you something, Y/N,” Parker said finally, reaching into his bag and pulling out a box. You smiled, gently taking it from him. 

“What is it?”

“It’s for baby Freyja, for the nursery” he explained, and you opened the box, grinning at the Brooklyn snow globe inside. 

“Oh, Parker, I love it. Thank you.”

You handed it to Loki and pulled your friend into a hug, squeezing him tightly. 

“You’re welcome.”

Everyone had gone to bed, but the insomnia was keeping you up. You stood in the nursery that was attached to your suite, decorated and ready for your baby girl. You placed the snow globe on a shelf, watching the little flakes fall over the tiny city. 

Your fingers smoothed over the crib blankets that were patterned with silver moons and stars, everything faintly reminiscent of Asgard, the home that Loki desperately missed. You picked up a stuffed yellow rabbit that Bucky had given you, along with a blanket. 

“Are you nervous?” Loki asked softly, leaning in the doorway. 

“A little bit. What if I’m a terrible mother?” you confessed, watching magic patterns move and twist on the wooden bars of the crib. 

“Come here, my darling.”

Loki sat down on your rocking chair, pulling you onto his lap.

“You’re going to be amazing, and perfect, and I will be here every step of the way. You’re not alone anymore, you don’t have to handle parenting by yourself.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, gently kissing him before laying your head down on his shoulder.

- six months later -

You heard Freyja cry from the nursery, and you sat up drowsily. It was nearly four in the morning, and you were so exhausted you could’ve wept. 

“I’ve got her, go back to sleep, beautiful.” Loki kissed your cheek and slipped out of bed. You laid back down, but your body wouldn’t let you sleep with your child awake. 

You wrapped Loki’s green cloak around you and walked into your nursery. Loki was gently rocking Freya in his arms, her black curls unruly on her head and her wide blue eyes the same shade as his. He soothed her with little green seidr stars that flickered and glittered above her face, before twisting into flowers and blooming in the air. 

He looked up when you entered, giving you a small smile. 

“Look, Freyja, it’s your lovely mum,” he kissed her cheek, and the tiny girl gazed at you, reaching out with her delicate hand. 

“Hungry?” you asked her, sitting down in your rocking chair and letting Loki set her in your arms. You slipped the top of your dress down and got her settled and feeding on your chest. Her fingers rested on your skin, and she relaxed as she drank from you. 

Loki knelt on the floor beside you, gazing up at you with admiration in his eyes. Your free hand went to his hair, and he leaned into your touch. 

“Motherhood suits you,” he noted, and you smiled. 

“You’re just happy because you get to see me shirtless more often,” you teased, making him laugh. 

“Freyja is lucky,” he grinned, kissing her head. 

“She looks like you,” you commented, and he nodded.

“But she has your sweet face.”

“It’s easy now, but wait until she starts performing magic, and she turns your hair gray,” you commented. 

“I’ll teach her to use her magic, and never against her mother.”

You smiled at Loki, then down at your daughter.

“I love you both, endlessly.”