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#and i have a hard time reading people or knowing what they want from me unless they speak it out loud and clear
writersdrug · 1 day
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I need, need need neeeeed to know who you would picture bar owner price with 😩 picturing bar owner price has me week in the knees. I need more, how would he be around the bar when he was there? Supporting, bossy,silly? The possibilities are endless. 🥰
I'm loving how people are requesting things for the rest of the 141!!
Bar Owner!Price isn't there every day, and most often not during the actual shift. He's there some mornings, already at his desk on the floor above the pub, setting up the next inventory order and dealing out everyone's tips before Simon climbs down from his flat on the third floor. They both grunt at each other, tired and in need of a hot breakfast and some tea.
He helps set up for the shift - he likes being in the kitchen with Soap. He feels bad the man is back there all by himself, even though he says he doesn't mind it. "I get to cuss 'n bitch all I want back 'ere, sir." Still, Price spends a majority of his time back there with him, prepping burger patties and making sure everything is stocked and ready. Gets on his case about updating the menu, but Soap insists the customers like it the way it is.
Price makes an appearance on the floor every now and then, opting to help run food or bartend on the busier nights. He checks in with the regulars, leaning his forearms on the bar with his sleeves rolled to his elbows, laughing and chatting with them and occasionally offering to refill their drinks. Simon grumbles quietly about him being in the way, but Price doesn't take it to heart.
He doesn't stay late. John isn't that old, but he likes to be back at home by a decent hour. One ruined sleep schedule and he's a shot for the rest of the week. He likes to get back to his flat, make himself a sandwich and pour himself some whiskey, and be on on his sofa and reading his book no later than ten in the evening. Routines have always been a part of his military career, and what can he say? Old habits really fo die hard.
Then you came along.
You didn't just rock Simon's world - you'd gotten Price, too. Though introductions could have been smoother (you nearly beat him with a keg when he came in through the back door and scared you), he's grown fond of you. First, as a hard worker and go-getter; then, as a pretty little waitress with a dazzling smile that likes to keep him on his toes. You love poking fun at him, calling him "bossman" or "barmaster" (doesn't make sense to him, since he's hardly behind the bar - but he finds it cute). You tease him for the way he runs your food, then gets stuck at the table for five minutes just chatting up the customers. You ask him things like, "Who do you prefer, Cardi B or Nicki Minaj?" And laugh when he just stares at you with a furrowed brow. He'll happily let you tease him for being an "old" man just to hear your laughter.
Then Simon sent that photo in the group chat, and Price felt something stir in his chest: looking at you, posing all prettily for your picture, working to push your little idea out there and bring in a crowd. He's impressed, but he's also intrigued. He's got his sights on you, and he's dying to figure out more about his waitress.
"'S the post making any headway?" He asks one night, leaning on the bar next to where you sit. Your tips are finished, money waded into the pocket of your apron as you scroll on your phone, sipping on a screwdriver.
"Kinda..." You mumble, a pout on your face, creasing the skin between your eyebrows. "People are seeing it, and there are a few likes, but no one's really engaging. Not sure if this will do well."
Price hums thoughtfully, looking at your lips while you stare at your screen. He's holding back the urge to lean in and take a whiff of your perfume, afraid it might seem just a bit too strange. "Have you tried promoting it?"
You look at him, laying your phone on the bar top. "Well... I could, but..." You wanted to finish with 'it would cost money'. But then, you'd be insinuating that you expected him to pay you. You could boost the post yourself, but you'd rather not spend money on something that might flop.
"'S there a problem?" Price asked, leaning in closer to you.
"I mean... promoting a post costs some money. Like, for it to be advertised to five hundred people, you'd pay around one fifty. And I think, depending on how far you wanted the post to reach - like, literally, how big of a geographic area - that would cost even more."
Price chuckles. "You do realize how much business you've brought in since you've joined the team, hmm?"
That makes your cheeks warm, pressing your lips into a line to avoid grinning like an idiot at the compliment. "I mean... sure..."
"Go upstairs to the office and get my wallet." he says, standing up from his seat at the bar.
You watch with a stupefied expression as he walks to the POS and prints some blank receipt paper. "You- you mean it? Are you sure?"
He sits on a barstool near the kitchen door. "Wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. Hurry up- before I change my mind."
You don't need to be told twice. You drop your phone onto the bar and bolt towards the stairs - you stop yourself, running back to where Price sits and hugging him from behind. He lets out a surprise grunt as you do your best to smother him.
"You're the best boss ever!" you squeal. Then, just like that - you're off to the office upstairs. He preens over the compliment as he hears you leaping two steps at a time.
"Be careful." he calls over his shoulder. He sits there a moment, staring at the paper in front of him. He's surprised he hadn't accidentally thrown you off of him purely out of instinct, but he can't say he isn't absolutely delighted by the hug. It lingers in his mind, his chest still remembering your arms around him. He shakes his head, reaching forward to grab a pen from behind the bar.
His eyes meet Simon's - the man is glaring daggers, his head framed by the window in the kitchen door, mask hanging from his ear. His lips are pulled down into quite possibly the angriest frown Price has ever seen. His nostrils flare as he exhales - Price wonders what sort of insults are flying through the bartender's head right now.
He glares right back. If Simon wants something, he'll give it to him. But he'll make him ask for it, like any normal human being. John isn't going to surrender just because Ghost is huffing and puffing, expecting his boss to back away from you just because he's stomping his foot and looking menacing. But how can he be sure that Simon really wants you, more than he thinks Price deserves you, if the lad won't say anything? It's only reasonable, right?
"If you want something, Simon, say something." Price calls out, never backing down from Simon's jealous gaze.
He huffs again and disappears from the kitchen window. Price can hear shuffling and banging, followed by Soap's irritated voice: "Oi, I got it! Get yourself outta my kitchen n' go your own shite, 'fore you break my stuff."
Price sighs, scribbling down some numbers on the paper in front of him. He'll cave, eventually.
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enmi-land · 1 day
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ʬʬʬ 𝓨OUTUBE.COM ▹ NOW PLAYiNG . . .
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ⓘ MiLA AND HER FAVOURiTE OPPA . . .
(˶ˆᗜˆ˵) FANMADE ViDEO. #2O24. ꗃ PREViEW A compilation of Mila being babygirl for Jay.
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CLIP 1, INTERVIEW
for context: mila and kiara were asked who they thought the most manly member is in the group
“Uhhh, I don’t know about that.” Kiara laughs awkwardly at the idea. “I’m older than almost all of them, and I grew up with Heeseung since we were kids, so it’s hard to say. I don’t really… you know?”
“Ah, fair enough. They’re kind of like younger brothers, right? That would be awkward.” The interview nods in understanding when Kiara confirms. “In that case, what about Mila? Maybe not for the younger members, but you must have thought about your oppas, right?”
“Well…” Mila laughs shyly as her members all turn to face her. “They all have their charms. But when I think of the word ‘masculine,’ the first person I think of is none other than my Jay-oppa.”
The interviewer is surprised when Engenes watching the interview live start to scream at the top of their lungs. “Oooooh! I see—Jay seems very happy about this.”
The focus is now on Jay, who is smiling widely beside Mila while she hides her face behind her hand in embarrassment.
me and the ghost in my room: [*Theo slapping Keeho on the shoulder*]
“Now I’m curious. What makes you pick Jay, of all the members?”
“Well,” Mila says shyly, avoiding Jay’s gaze as he stares softly at her. “Ever since we met, he’s taken very good care of me—not that the other members don’t, but sometimes we have those times where we tease each other and all of that stuff. You know?”
The interviewer nods. “You like to play around, yes? Close friends who tease each other.”
Mila nods strongly. “Exactly like that! Jay-oppa isn’t like that, though. He’s a real gentleman. He’s always very gentle, and soft-spoken, and patient. He’s like the type of person people want their daughters to marry...”
And then Mila proceeds to hide her face behind Jay as Engenes go wild over their interaction. All the while, Jay can’t help the absolutely whipped look on his face as he smiles like an idiot.
[*Close up of Jay*] [“Boy who got you smiling like that?”]
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CLIP 2, COMPILATION
to give you an idea of mila’s favouritism, let’s see the difference between mila with each of the 02z mila with jakehoon:
K-NEXT DOOR
“I was watching some of your clips, and I noticed something interesting,” Jonathan says. “Mila, you’re a 03-liner, right?”
Mila blinks. “Yes, that’s right.”
Jonathan turns to Jake. “Jake, you’re a 02-liner.”
Jake nods.
“In that case… Mila—why don’t you call Jake ‘oppa’?”
Mila bursts out laughing as if she’s just heard the funniest thing in her life, before she composes herself and turns to Jonathan. “Well, for one, we’re both foreigners and speak English when we’re alone. I got used to calling him by name, so it feels weird to call him oppa. And for another, it feels weird to call him my oppa when he doesn’t act like one.”
Jake looks at Mila in absolute shock as Jonathan’s jaw drops. Heeseung and Jungwon giggle among themselves, and Jake nods solemnly at the camera with his lips pressed into a thin line.
[*Close up of Jake with raining overlay*] [“Gwenchana, gwenchana, daeng daeng daeng daeng daeng.”]
WEVERSE LIVE
“The other day, I realised that I’m only three months younger than Sunghoonie-oppa,” Mila says all of a sudden. “Isn’t that so weird? I might as well be his friend, but he’s still considered my elder because he’s born in 2002. It’s so unfair…”
Mila pouts as she reads comments. “‘Just don’t call him ‘oppa’?” Mila laughs. “Right. I should just call him ‘Sunghoon-ssi’ from now on, haha. Or ‘Sunghoon-hyung.’ Can you imagine his expression? It would be funny…”
Mila bursts out laughing as she reads a comment.
“‘Just call him Sunghoon’? Yahhh, you’re trying to get me in trouble.” Mila looks thoughtful for a second after she says this. “But then again, I don’t really care if it’s Sunghoonie-oppa. He can just be mad at me, for all I care.”
She leans towards the camera with a cheeky smile.
“Should I do it, everyone?”
spoiler alert: she does it [*Compilation of Mila saying ‘Sunghoon-ssi’*]
[*Close up of Sunghoon’s reactions*] [“I never found you funny, I never found you entertaining—”]
[*Spongebob Narration* ‘Meanwhile’*] mila with jay:
EN-LOG
Mila is in the middle of eating at a restaurant when she receives a call. She looks at her phone to see who it is, and lights up when she sees the contact. She gasps excitedly. “Everyone, it's Jay-oppa!”
She shows her phone to the screen to see the contact which she saved him under: ‘the bestest oppa 😇’
(This is before they even date, mind you.)
[*Close up of Mila’s phone*] “THE BESTEST OPPA” 🤭✨
[*Cardi B squinting* “That’s suspicious, that’s weird.”]
She picks up the call and holds it to hear ear. In a cutesy voice that is out of character for Mila, she leans back in her chair and smiles, completely forgoing her food. “Hello?”
“What are you doing?” Jay asks.
“I’m just having lunch now.” Mila reaches up to twirl a strand of hair around her finger. “How about Oppa?”
mila whenever jay: [*Nayeon tucking her hair behind her ear*]
Jay hums. “That’s good. I came across a new chocolate store just now. I’m going to take a look now. Do you want me to buy you anything?”
[EN-Log captions: ‘Jay-oppa is too good to me ❤️’]
And from there, the two have a sweet phone call, with Mila looking like a giddy teenage girl as she talks.
“Mmm, okay,” Mila says as they reach the end of their call, but not without a pout. “I’ll let you go, then.”
“Get back home safely, okay? Call if you need anything.” Jay’s voice is soft, and Mila is smiling as she assures him that she will do as he says. “You hang up first.”
[EN-Log captions: ‘Jay-oppa, why are you so sweet to me? I’ll cry :(’]
Mila giggles. “Okay, okay. Bye bye~” She still smiles at her phone, even after she hangs up. She then turns to the camera and smiles. “Everyone, isn't my Jay-oppa the sweetest?”
“MY JAY-OPPA” 😫
jakehoon watching this: [“I just wanna be appreciated! I wanna be appreciated!”]
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CLIP 3, WEVERSE LIVE
“‘Jay, will you marry me’?!”
[*Boom*]
Mila is flabbergasted after she reads out the comment, and looks up at the camera with a look of absolute incredulous indignation. Jay simply laughs at her expression. “Why, why? What’s with your expression?”
“No!” Mila says with a huff. “You can’t marry him!”
Jay looks amused as Mila glares at the camera, trying to intimidate. “Shouldn’t I have a say?”
“You can’t.” Mila latches onto his arm, resting her cheek on his shoulder. “There’s only one Jay-oppa in the world, everyone else can go find their own.”
[“Hold up! Wait a minute! Something’s not right!”][*Mirage effect*]
mila when engenes ask to marry ni-ki [*Mila saying, “Haha. Good luck with that. He’s a lot to handle.”*]
mila now: [*Mirage effect*]
“But you have to share with Engenes,” Jay says amusedly.
Mila turns to him with a pout and a signature pair of babydoll eyes that she always seems to wear around him—and which he’ll always fold to. “Tell them to ask someone else.”
🤨 [*Dwayne Johnson raising an eyebrow*]
Jay simply chuckles and turns to the camera. “Sorry, I can’t get married to you because our Mila doesn’t approve. You have to ask someone else to be your husband.” He looks back down at Mila. “Happy?”
Mila nods. She then proceeds to continue clinging onto his arm for the rest of the love, resting her cheek on his shoulder as she looks at her with a gaze that could melt butter.
🦋🦋🦋
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CLIP 4, COMPILATION
This is basically just Mila getting shy and avoiding Jay’s gaze whenever she makes eye contact with him. It’s like she physically can’t handle looking into his eyes or she’ll be sucked into a vacuum.
mila when jay looks at her: [“Oh no, I hope I don’t fall.”]
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CLIP 5, COMPILATION
proof that mila is jay’s baby part 298192: she always runs to jay when she needs something
EN-TER KEY
Mila realises she made a mistake during monitoring and looks at the camera. “I messed up…”
She doesn’t seem bothered by it because she laughs. But as a few seconds pass, she seems visibly worried as she avoids eye contact with the camera and looks away more than once, as if to use her face.
(This was during a period of time not longer after debut, where she was receiving immense hate for supposedly debuted without any talent.) 
But then she seems to crack and turns her back to the camera, before making a beeline in a certain direction. As the cameraman follows her, they end up finding Jay, who is seated on a couch in the dressing room.
He immediately stands up upon seeing Mila, and worriedly asks her what’s wrong. He opens his arms to her and she immediately walks into his embrace, burying her face in his shoulder.
He brings a hand to her head and whispers something in her ear which the cameras don’t catch. But its clear that he’s doing his best to cocker her and shield her from the camera’s view.
EN-DIARIES
Mila is tasked with the mission of giving a member a makeover, which she complains will be entirely impossible to do for any of them. But then she decides to approach Jay, and follows him around the place, asking him (and only him) for help.
“Oppa, can you help me just this once?” Mila grabs onto his sleeve and tugs it to her. “Please?”
Jay pretends to ignore her, instead busying himself with looking inside the fridge. But instead of giving up and asking one of the other members, she persists, and does everything from clinging, whining, to even pretending to be upset.
“I’ve been rejected,” she mopes in the living room, purposely speaking loud enough for Jay to hear her. “No one loves me anymore.”
At this, Jay seems ro reach the end of his straw, and laughs to himself as he makes his way over to the sulking Mila on the couch. To keep the long story short, Mila eventually sits him down and happily puts a ribbon in his hair, while commenting how cute he looks.
SO SO FUN
Mila is in the middle of cooking something in the kitchen when she notices that something is a bit off. She gasps when she realises she forgot to add an ingredient, and starts to panic that she might have ruined the whole dish.
The first thing she does is take off to find Jay. “Oppa, are you busy?”
Jay looks at her with his full attention. “Why? What’s wrong?”
Mila looks slightly embarrassed and stands closer to Jay, with a hand slightly covering her mouth. He leans down closer as she basically whispers, “I made a mistake with the food. I think I messed it up…”
Jay, to his credit, seems unpaused. “Show me. We’ll see if we can fix it.”
Mila points out the food when she gets for the kitchen, looking disappointed as she walks Jay through every step she took. “Sorry,” she says with a frown as she finishes. “I’m so clumsy…”
“No, no, don’t apologise,” Jay reassures softly. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and places a comforting hand on her head. “We can still fix it. Come here, I’ll show you what to do if it happens again.”
MISCELLANEOUS
And again, Mila can be seen asking for his help or his comfort when she needs something, which he responds to like a hero to the rescue at every occasion. It’s really no suspense that he’s her favourite oppa. (Or so, JayMi shippers like to claim—just don’t let the MiSeung fans know.)
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© ENMI-LAND, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, REPOST.
taglist⠀( OPEN ! ) ⦂ @em1ejiee @menichoi @dracoslovergirl @rosas-in-the-garden @blossominghunnie @lovelypham @cornenhapovs @nee-issaire @jwnstars @tommina @queenriki7 @onlyuyu
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fleming-o · 20 hours
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Behind the spotlight - Niamh Charles x Reader
request here
Award show nerves aren’t always the best
angst with comfort
---
The soft hum of the city buzzed just outside the window as you fidgeted with your cufflinks, trying to push down the tension building in the room. Niamh stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the strap of her dress for what had to be the tenth time. Her brow was creased, lips pressed into a thin line, and her usually bright eyes were clouded with something heavier tonight.
"You look stunning, you know?" you said, stepping closer, hands hovering just inches from Niamh’s waist. You didn’t want to touch her yet—not when the air between you felt so fragile.
Niamh’s lips twitched, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. "Thanks."
The flatness of her voice cut through your chest, but you kept quiet, knowing better than to push. Niamh wasn’t usually one to show her insecurities. She was a fighter on and off the pitch, and tonight was supposed to be a celebration of that. But the way she kept glancing at her reflection, adjusting her dress, her earrings, her hair, told a different story.
After a moment of silence, you finally stepped forward, resting a hand gently on Niamh’s back. "You okay?"
Niamh’s shoulders stiffened under your touch, and you instantly regretted asking. "Yeah, I’m fine," she said quickly, too quickly.
"Are you sure?" you pressed gently, not trying to pry but unable to shake the worry.
Niamh sighed, her fingers stilling at her side. She met your eyes in the mirror, her expression hard to read. "I just... I don’t know why I’m even going tonight. It’s not like I’ve had a standout season or anything."
You blinked, taken aback. "What are you talking about? You’ve been incredible this season."
Niamh scoffed, turning away from the mirror and folding her arms across her chest. "Incredible? I barely played for half the season because of my shoulder injury, and when I did, I was hardly at my best. I don’t even know why they invited me."
Your heart ached hearing her speak like that. You stepped in front of her, gently grabbing her hands. "Niamh, you’re being too hard on yourself. You pushed through, you came back stronger, and everyone’s noticed. You deserve to be there as much as anyone else."
Niamh pulled her hands back, looking away. "I don’t feel like I do. It just feels... fake, like I’m playing a part tonight or something. All those cameras, the smiles, the awards. It’s all for people who’ve done so much more this season. Not me."
You felt frustration rising in your chest, not at her but at the situation, at how much she was doubting herself. "You’re not playing a part," you said softly. "You’ve earned this. And it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure, but you can’t let that take away from everything you’ve accomplished."
Niamh shook her head, a humorless laugh escaping her. "You don’t get it. I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything. I feel like I’m just... there, you know? Filling a spot."
The room went silent, tension thick between you. You knew how much the injury had weighed on Niamh, how hard she’d worked to get back to full fitness, but hearing her like this, so vulnerable, was new. Niamh always hid it so well.
"You’re more than just a spot-filler, Niamh. You’ve fought through so much this season. That means something."
Niamh’s eyes flickered with doubt, maybe frustration, but she stayed quiet, her gaze fixed on the floor, her thoughts clearly heavy.
After a beat of silence, you sighed and stepped back. "Look, I know tonight feels big and overwhelming, but you don’t have to go if you really don’t want to. We can stay home, watch a movie, whatever you need."
Niamh’s head shot up, surprise flickering across her face. "No, I—" She hesitated, her voice softening. "I want to go. I just... I don’t know how to be okay with it."
Your heart squeezed. You stepped forward again, brushing a thumb over her cheek. "Then let me help you. We’ll get through tonight together, okay?"
Niamh’s shoulders sagged slightly, her walls crumbling just a little. She nodded, a small, grateful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Okay."
---
The awards night was every bit as glamorous and overwhelming as Niamh had expected. Lights flashed from all directions as you walked into the venue, cameras capturing every smile, every step. Niamh’s hand was tight in yours, her fingers cold and stiff. You could feel her pulse racing beneath her skin.
"You’re doing great," you whispered, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as you made your way through the crowd, trying to ease some of the tension radiating off her.
She gave a small nod, but her grip on your hand only tightened.
The night passed in a blur of speeches, applause, and polished smiles. Niamh sat rigidly at your table, her eyes darting around the room, never settling for long. Every time the camera panned across the audience, she straightened up, forcing a smile you could tell wasn’t real. You squeezed her hand under the table, hoping to remind her that you were there, that she wasn’t alone in this.
When Niamh’s name was finally called for an award, you saw the flicker of panic flash across her face. She stood slowly, hesitating just long enough for the applause to feel awkward before making her way to the stage.
You watched her closely as she accepted the award, the way she held it in her hands like it didn’t belong to her, the way her voice wavered just slightly as she gave a brief thank-you speech. Niamh was always a fighter, but tonight, she looked like she was fighting against herself.
When she returned to the table, her smile was brittle, her eyes distant. You leaned in, whispering softly, "I’m so proud of you."
Niamh’s jaw clenched, her fingers trembling slightly as she placed the award on the table. "I don’t deserve this."
Your heart sank. "Yes, you do. You worked so hard to get back here. You deserve every bit of this recognition."
Niamh shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. "It doesn’t feel like it. I feel like a fraud."
You wanted to argue, to tell her again how wrong she was, but you could see how fragile she was in that moment. Instead, you placed a hand gently on her thigh, grounding her. "You’re not a fraud, Niamh. You’re one of the strongest people I know. And even if you can’t see that right now, I do. I believe in you."
Niamh’s eyes filled with unshed tears, and for a moment, the mask she’d been wearing all night crumbled. She leaned into your touch, her body sagging with the weight of everything she’d been carrying.
"I don’t know how to feel better about this," she admitted quietly, her voice trembling. "I feel so... lost."
Your heart broke for her, but you stayed steady, knowing she needed you to be her anchor. "You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Just take it one step at a time, okay? You’re not alone in this."
Niamh nodded, her grip on your hand tightening again, this time not out of anxiety but out of gratitude. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice raw. "For everything."
You smiled softly, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Always."
---
Later, after the lights had dimmed and the applause had faded, you found yourselves back in your apartment. Niamh sat on the edge of the bed, the award resting on the nightstand, her gaze distant.
"You were amazing tonight," you said gently, sitting beside her. "I hope you know that."
Niamh didn’t respond right away. She stared at the award, her expression conflicted, before finally speaking. "I’m trying to believe it."
You wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "You will. And until then, I’ll remind you every day."
Niamh rested her head on your shoulder, her body finally relaxing into your embrace. "I love you," she whispered, her voice soft but steady.
You pressed a kiss to her hair, your heart full. "I love you too."
And in that quiet moment, with the weight of the night behind you and the warmth of your love surrounding her, Niamh allowed herself to believe—if only just a little—that maybe, just maybe, she really did deserve it all
---
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xazse · 14 hours
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hiii pookie I LOVED your hybrid post like it got me foaming from the mouth ngl 🫶 you're so talented!!
If you're into it, can we get cowhybrid! reader and Farmer!Gojo specifically please and thank you? I need to see the reader all needy and desperate and Gojo being the only one who can truly give her release and and what she truly needs (feel free to remix or add anyone/anything that you please)
If you're not into it, please ignore this ask instead of refusing because I get embarrassed hihi🎀🫶 anyways mwah mwah love u take care pookie
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ANOTHER TRY?
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Notes: THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED MY WORK!!! and to the second ask I’m very happy you requested that bull!hybrid work lLOVEDDD WORKING ON IT!! You guys are so creative I need to eat ur brain!!! THIS IS FOR ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR A PT2 I SEE YOU GUYS!!! (IF UR READING THIS TO MY OTHER INBOX OFC YOU CAN BE 🪬 ANON!!)
Pairings: CowHybrid!Reader x Farmer!Gojo
Warnings: Lactation + big!boobedReader + implied chubby!reader + nipplesucking + grinding + mean!Satoru + pussy!slapping + teasing.
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Gojo has spoiled you for far too long it makes his blood boil and temples wrinkle when you continue to go see Toji and Suguru, it becomes a habit for you to come back in the early mornings after having a night of “fun.”
Confronting said men proved to be so fucking useless, they just laughed in his face when he said he’d kick both of them to the curb should they continue to corrupt you.
“You need us Satoru, why are you allowed to have your nightly routines but she cant? It was gonna happen eventually.” Tojis face was decorated with a fat sneer, all those times he tried to make sure you stayed as far as possible were all for naught, it’s hilarious seeing him seething behind a cool facade.
“Never knew what Toji seen in the woman but now I completely understand his point.” Suguru yelled from where he was transporting some wood.
Talking to them proved to be useless, as a little payback he made them clean the shed from top to bottom.
Trudging back to the main house in his thick boots Satoru comes to face you relaxing on the couch without a damn care in the world.
Why is he trying to get them to be on his level when he should be punishing you, you’re the one who didn’t listen, you’re the one sneaking out every night. He doesn’t know why he feels this hold on you, you’re such a beautiful girl that he can’t help but keep you in this small bubble.
When your eyes land on him you don’t say any kind of greeting, simply ignoring his presence for the movie on the huge ass tv he bought for you and eating the expensive food he bought for you.
You look extremely good right now, your fat boobs not swollen, but your pretty lips are. Satoru won’t say it but his pants tighten at the thought of what they do to you.
He needs you right now, he’ll make it up to you as much as he can.
He approaches you calmly and collected, sitting down at the edge of the couch where your legs are propped up, you still don’t acknowledge him. His trained hands start circling on your soft supple skin, you surprisingly don’t push him away. You give Satoru an inch he’ll take a mile.
He starts groping your thighs, the pudgy things hold within the creases of his hand. He pushes your thighs apart and gets a good look at your panties: you always choose to walk around the house like this.
They’re extra tight the way they emphasize your fat pussy, the groan that slips from his lips aren’t-something he tries to hold back, he needs you to know how much he wants you, especially wants you all to himself.
The rise and fall of your chest makes you look so cute, why are you so shy all of a sudden? You’re averting your eyes as well.
Satoru starts teasing your clothed folds, dragging his thick finger up and down, he pushes extra hard on your clit eliciting a small moan from you. He continues this for a little, he needs you wet to take him properly.
He peels off your soddened panties and positions himself above you, finally face to face with you. Your boobs are the first thing he attacks, pulling on your shirt and letting them spill out, the little droplets of milk call to him. He’s grabbing one and putting it into his mouth: he loves your taste so sweet like honey as it cascades down his throat so smoothly.
“Nghm… Toru..” finally you’ve decided to grace him with your sultry voice.
He bites down a little on your nipple making you jump away. He reels you right back in and sucks even harsher, there’s barely any milk left but he’s going to make sure he gets his full.
“Toru.” You call his name so panicked and yet you’re grinding against his fully hard cock. He’s so desperate in the moment that he unbuckles his belt and lets his cock bob free.
His fat tip prods agaisnt your folds, messing with your sticky wetness, he smears it on his tip even grinding down on your clit, but he doesn’t put it in, you don’t deserve that.
He teases you, pretending he’s going to give you what you want just to take it all away.
“Please…” a harsh and loud smack is delivered straight to your clit, you yelp and buckle your legs closed.
“Shirt, take your shirt off.” He commands, of course you’re gonna listen, Satoru has never taken that tone with you.
Your boobs now freely spill for him to gaze at. He spreads your legs back open.
“I’m gonna give you ten slaps, close your legs for even one I’m restarting. Understood?” You nod and your ears move along with it. He likes this look on your face: confusion, arousal and a little bit of fear.
On the first slap you make the mistake of shutting your legs closed: completely an accident but he’s having none of it, he hits your little clit again and again.
“Ahn..” you’re still so fucking wet by the sixth slap, creating a nasty mess that drips to your ass. Gojo’s cock is still throbbing, he jerks himself off, smearing his pre all over.
By the tenth slap you’re gone, completely dazed and only able to whine outloud, he decides that you’ve had enough with the tears that sit on your eye line. He pushes your legs back and lines his weeping tip. The feeling of sliding into your sopping wet cunt is better than any pussy he’s ever had.
His strokes against you are fast even though he should be letting you adjust, the sounds of skin against skin meeting each other is downright lewd.
He tells you to rub your nipples, it adds so much more stimulation that you can’t find it in you to hate it.
His cock drags agaisnt your walls over and over, till you can’t feel anything but the sensitivity of your nipples and the twitching of his fat cock.
He fucks you like that all night, even when you’re meant to meet Toji and Suguru, you can’t stop creaming around farmer Gojos length and nor do you want to.
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lastoneout · 1 day
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I feel like at some point we like as a society need to acknowledge that yes inspiration porn about disabled people overcoming challenges is bad but also you can go too far on countering that stuff and loop around to simply believing it's impossible for disabled people to do anything at all no matter what, because that's how we get people on tiktok insisting Helen Keller was a fraud because a Deaf-Blind individual could clearly never learn to read or write and also that art is so uniquely hard for all disabled people that surely we must need AI to make art for us, we could never do it on our own, and thus any accessibility tool short of a program that just spits out a drawing or book when we press a button is pointless.
Like this swing from one to the other isn't on disabled people, it's on abled society, but yeah we can find a middle ground where we acknowledge that just like not every abled person can become Michelangelo not every disabled person can or is obligated to become a master artist or professional athlete while also recognizing that it isn't inspiration porn to acknowledge that disabled people are capable of doing things and pointing out examples of us doing impressive things isn't wrong especially when it's used to counter people who think we are literally incapable of doing anything at all no matter what and thus all disabled achievements were staged or done by abled people behind the scenes.
Like not every disabled person can become a great artist but with the right tools and time and help a large portion of us can learn to make one form of art or another, just like any abled person can. Helen Keller got lucky enough to have well off parents but she's not the only Deaf-Blind person who can learn to read and write, you know?
There has to be a middle ground. Yes we need help, yes a lot of us can't do certain things at all, but we are capable of doing things. We can make stuff. Assuming all of us are completely incapable of doing anything at all from caring for ourselves to some degree to having valuable things to say and worth as people and we surely must need to be rescued by AI or kind abled people who will do work and let us put our name on it is just as harmful as assuming with enough work all of us can do absolutely anything an abled person can and any struggles we face don't have anything to do with society and instead just means we aren't trying hard enough.
Idk, but when I talk about the accessibility struggles I have that prevent me from doing the things I want to do, like art and writing, I'd be equally pissed at the person who says I don't need those tools because if I just try hard enough I can do anything as I would be at the person who tells me not to bother trying to actually make art myself because clearly it's too hard and instead use this fancy plagiarism and pollution machine to make art for me.
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dumblilb · 2 hours
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I Could Be Enough
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Vi x Fem!Reader
(Synopsis: They weren’t super close as children, but running around in the same crowd kept them in the know of each other. But years later she might be all Vi’s got left.)
(Warnings: drunk!vi, alcohol, mentions of physical violence ‘ not towards reader’, it’s mostly fluff, a little bit of angst, no mentions of physical attributes, just she/her pronouns, not proof read)
(Requested: yes)
(Words: 1,585)
* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚☆ 。
You don’t even know how it got to this point. Sitting at the booth in a gross, sticky, and dark club, watching over a girl you didn’t think you would ever see again. And maybe you were right. Cause she’s not the same girl you remember running around the streets of the under city as a child. The one who always had a bright look in her eyes as she tried so hard to live up to her father’s name, and keep her siblings safe.
But one thing was the same behind those, now dark and sad, slate grey eyes. She was a fighter. In the most literal sense. She couldn’t keep her fist off a jaw if she tried. Night after night she would cover her distinct tattoos and red hair with dark paint. Disguising herself from the public who claimed her strength as a prize. Or maybe even hiding from herself. She wasn’t to sure anymore.
But as the nights carried on the paint got messier and the drinks were getting stronger. And it was hard to watch. But here you were. Watching. So hard you thought your eyes might bleed from all the strobing lights and smoke filling the air. Any other night you might have gone to bed. Ignored the aching feeling you had, and left her to party the rest of the night away. But you couldn’t. Because there she was also watching you. As she sloppily got up with a bottle in her hand and started to walk towards the exit, the urge to follow consumed you. Because you knew she wanted you too. She was practically begging. And so you did. Meeting her by the stairs leading to her small apartment.
“Thank god you came, I thought I was gonna have to drink all alone tonight.” She slurred and you sighed resting your hip against the wall, propping yourself up.
“What would you do without me.” You smiled at her. Trying not to be angry with how fucked up she sounds. Slyly taking the bottle from her and helping her steady by the waist you walk her home.
“You know you’re so pretty when you’re mad at me.” She sighs as you push her door open. You just roll your eyes. She’s been doing this for months. Ever since her first pit match. You were hired as a sort of nurse for the ring. Patching up the people who were getting their shit rocked, and the people doing the punching. Making sure they were healed enough for their next match. And the second you saw her step in that ring you knew it was her. Sure she looked a little different. But her deep upper cut. You could never forget that.
So you causally brought up growing up in the lanes while bandaging her fists that day. How you were pretty shy but always friendly with a boy named Ekko. And he had introduced you to his friends a few times. You could tell she remembered you. But she didn’t say anything. Which was okay. You could tell she didn’t really want to be known at that point. But as time went on she spent more time talking to you after matches. Sitting at the bar just trying to figure out how life got both of you here.
But she also found alcohol along the way. And that concerned you. She would always assure you she was fine. And you chose to believe her. Even though it sometimes seemed she would look right through you. Like she wished something else was there.
But even before the alcohol, the casual flirting was always there. Comments about how attractive you looked and how nice you were to her compared to the other fighters. Claiming you made her feel ‘so special’ and not just because it was coming from a beautiful girl like you.
So as you sit her down on her small bed and pull out some supplies to remove her makeup you can’t help but shake your head at her.
“Your dumb fake flirting isn’t going to get you out of this one vi. You’re a mess.” You sigh pushing her hair back with one hand, removing her makeup with the other.
“It’s not fake and you know it.” She rolls her eyes. “I want you. Please.” She says griping the hand with the cloth in it. Rubbing her thumb across your knuckles softly. The difference between her ruff scared hands and yours now glaringly apparent.
“You’re drunk and exhausted, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a bit of a concussion after today’s match. I haven’t seen you get hit that hard in a while.” You say ignoring her advances. As you’ve done before.
“I’m fine. You know I’m fine.” She reassures you. But the wavering of her eyes says otherwise.
“I know you think you’re fine-“ you remove your hand from hers and finish wiping her face. “But I see you, Vi. And this isn’t fine.” You say pointing from the bottle resting on her little table to her bruised fists.
She groans tossing her head back. And you gear up ready for a fight about how you don’t know what you’re talking about. But she rubs her eyes a little, her breath slowly becoming unsteady.
“You’re right I’m sorry.” She breathes out looking at you. The small bit of light roaming the room makes the wateriness of her eyes sparkle. “God I’m so tired and I don’t know what to do.” She cries.
You don’t even know how to respond. She’s never really cried in front of you before. She’s always been so tuff. But as she sits before you, even her toned and muscular body couldn’t make her look strong.
“I’m so lonely. All I have at this point is you. And you don’t even want me.” She continues and your face softens. Kneeling down in front of her you softly stroke her hair, pulling her in for a hug. She cautiously wraps her arms around you. Like just her touch might scare you away.
“You have me. You do. I think you have for a while now. I just didn’t think you were serious.” You reassure her. Her head nuzzles into the crook of your neck, and you can hear her breathing steady slightly.
“I’m always serious about you.” She says softly, it being a bit muffled by her position. She pulls away from the hug, resting her forehead to yours. “Can you stay please. I don’t want to be alone.” She asks quietly. Her warm breath hitting your lips.
“I’ll stay.” You grin and she moves to get up and grab a blanket. You help get her ready to lay down, removing her thick boots and setting aside the dirty cloth.
She props the blanket in your lap and she lays down. At first you just smile at how dainty she looks compared to how you usually see her. But her strong arm pulling you down next to her snaps you out of it pretty quickly.
Pulling the blanket over you both, you run your fingers through her hair. Analyzing her face one feature at a time. Her eyes seem a little more blue in this lighting. And you can finally see the small freckles adorning her skin.
“Are you trying to seduce me.” She asks with a soft laugh. “Cause it’s working.”
“Don’t get any funny ideas. That’s not happening. At least not tonight.” You say and you could have sworn her cheeks got a little pink.
“Well then you’ve got to stop staring at me like that… At least not tonight.” She jokes rolling over. Making you smile.
With her back to you, you place an arm around her waist holding her firm. You could feel her body stiffen and you try to remove your arm but she stops you. “No wait. This is good.” She whispers. “This is good.” And she holds your arm tight to her. Rubbing circles across it with her fingers. Her whole body relaxes against yours and you smile against her neck.
“You know I’m not that same girl anymore.” She sighs a little out of no where. But you get it, she’s trying to give you an out. A chance to run. You hum in response. “I’m different I think. I’m not as strong as I used to be.” She continues and you know she’s not talking about muscle, or brawn. She used to be a leader. Someone people looked up to. And now… most people didn’t even know her real name.
“That might be true. But that’s okay.” You say pressing a soft kiss to the base of her neck. “You’ve been through a lot. I think you’re holding on to a girl who didn’t know what life was yet. And you’re grown up. It’s normal to not be the same. Or feel the same.” You continue and she turns to face you. Caressing your cheek softly.
“I think maybe I can be okay. With you.” She muses. Placing a light kiss to your lips. Making you smile.
“Good cause I’m not going anywhere.”
You don’t know if tomorrow she would go back to drinking. Or if she would get her ass kicked in the pit. But tonight she was safe. And she was with you. And as she fell asleep to your heart beating against her, you couldn’t help but hope it could stay this way. Cause for you. This was enough.
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clangenrising · 2 days
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I know u said I don’t have to apologize but I would like to preface this with I’m sorry for upsetting you, I wasn’t trying to say that those with cluster b personalities are more likely to like- Hurt people, just that their “level of evil” is at a point that I can’t imagine someone just… choosing if that makes sense? I wasn’t trying to like make them little sad soft boys just that, based on my own experiences of having a mental illness that does disposition me to do bad stuff, their thought processes seemed similar to mine rather than how I’d imagine a non-mentally ill person’s thought process would work, apologies
I understand that. But I specifically told you not to apologize to me. I know it hurts to get critiques like that, especially in such a public space, but I need you guys as my audience to be brave about that stuff, okay?
It takes a lot out of me to feel like I need to console my audience any time i push back on something they say. It's kind of exhausting to do so much emotional labor.
As well, you're still not understanding my point, or if you are you're ignoring it to justify saying what you said when you really don't have to. Razor and Sardine did "just choose" to do the things they did and they did them for racist, sexist, and egotistical reasons. That's the whole point of their characters. People can choose to be harmful and just because that choice feels justified to them doesn't make it okay and it also doesn't mean that they must have a sympathetic reason for making it or they must be mentally ill.
I'm not trying to say anything about your experience with mental illness. It sucks to have a mental illness that causes you to make poor choices or hurt those around you, I know from experience. But I think you're projecting onto these characters and that was the point of my original response; to say "You are reading my characters extremely incorrectly in a way that is actually very harmful to people who actually have those disorders".
Please stop for a second. Think about what I said and actually work on your beliefs/behavior. Do not return to my inbox to perform contrition.
The behavior itself is the real problem, not whether or not I personally got upset. You don't know me. I'm a stranger on the internet. You shouldn't be trying so hard to make me like you. This goes to all of my followers - you shouldn't be so focused on getting my approval that you ignore the actual message I'm trying to send. I want people to learn and grow, I don't care if they come and apologize for having a bad take.
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abdallahblog0 · 2 hours
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Will I be just a number, will my soul not matter, will I die young at 20 and my dreams go with me?!!!!
Can you donate the cost of a morning cup of coffee?
I have posted my campaign a lot (knowing that the internet is very slow, hard to get and not free) but what is the result? Only a few people have cared about me, I don't know what to do, I will post another and if nothing changes this will be my last post and thank you all
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I am a university student and I always imagined my dreams and my future. I dreamed of becoming a doctor, but unfortunately the war came and my university was destroyed. I want to travel abroad and I want to complete my studies and dreams. I want a life free of bombing. I want a life that has the basics of life. I do not want a life of luxury. I just want the basics!!! (Water, food, electricity, safety, education, medicine, net)
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I want to put pictures of me before the war and pictures after the war, so that you know how much the war affected us and how difficult and destructive it was and how much we suffered
BEFORE
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AFTER
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I think everything is clear from the pictures, it is clear how the war affected us
This is a previous post of mine that you can view.
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My campaign has been verified 3 times.
1- @90-ghost LINKS VITTED
2- @gaza-evacuation-funds LINE315
3- @heba-20 LINK VITTED
You can donate from
1- GFM
2- PAYPAL
3 - GOGETFUNDING
(My old campaign but it still works normally but people know GFM site more)
@sayruq @sar-soor @90-ghost @vakarians-babe @northgazaupdates2 @helppeople @ibtisams @appsa @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka @el-shab-hussein @sayruq @tortiefrancis @flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vivisection-gf @belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @ibtisams @animentality @kordeliiius @brutaliakhoa @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish @the-bastard-king @4ft10tvlandfangirl @queerstudiesnatural @northgazaupdates2 @90-ghost @skatehani @awetistic-things @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @morallyrainyday
@jonpertwee @flipton @bell-bones @ragingbullmode @envytherose
@rodent178 @tangledinourstrings @kraigerzz-blog
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dragonflylady77 · 2 days
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people like us
So... yesterday (today? timezones, man...) was @thissortofsorcery's birthday and I decided around 5pm that I'd write a fic for her.
2502 words later... read on Ao3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE!!!
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Summary:
Billy apologizes, Robin helps Steve with something, then she helps Billy with something.
Steve was standing against his car when he spotted Hargrove walking towards him. He planted his feet, crossing his arms over his chest and waited. It had been a couple of months since the fight at the Byers’ and they’d both done a good job avoiding each other.
He’d heard from Dustin that Max had told the gang Billy was sticking to his word and staying out of her way. The guy didn’t seem to hang around Tommy and his clique anymore and Steve wondered who he was hanging out with. He wasn’t sure why he wondered, but he did.
Hargrove stopped a couple of feet away, taking a deep drag on his cigarette before dropping it on the ground and crushing it with his boot. “Harrington.”
“Hargrove,” Steve said, his face showing none of the turmoil he was feeling inside. He wondered what had compelled him to press a finger to Billy’s chest that night, but he couldn’t get out of his head how warm and soft Billy’s skin had been.
“I took it too far that night, and for that I am sorry. My dad, um, my dad made it very clear that I needed to bring Maxine home and when you lied to me about it and wouldn’t let me take her with me, I saw red. That wasn’t your fault, but you have to agree that a thirteen-year-old girl had no business being alone with a bunch of boys at night in a house in the middle of nowhere.”
Steve felt his face heat up. “That’s not… I mean… I don’t…” he sputtered. What the fuck ?
“Yeah, I know that now, but you gotta admit it looked dodgy as hell. Anyway, you don’t have to forgive me or anything, but I wanted to say I’m sorry I made your face my punching bag.”
“Oh, um, okay.” Steve was having a hard time processing.
Billy nodded. “See ya.”
A car door slamming shut snapped Steve out of his trance and he realized Hargrove had left while he was staring into space. He heard the bell and swore under his breath, grabbing his bag out of his car before running towards the school.
The day passed in a daze and last period found Steve in the library for his tutoring session. His English teacher had arranged for someone from his AP class to help Steve with his college essays. Steve couldn’t ask Nancy anymore, obviously, things were too awkward. Part of him hoped it would be Billy Hargrove, though he doubted the new King of Hawkins High would want to spend more time with a washed out loser like Steve…
“Steve Harrington?” a decidedly female voice said next to him and he sat up, blinking. 
“Yes?”
“Hi. I’m Robin Buckley. Mr. Crowder asked me to help you with your college essays.” Robin sat in the chair next to him, dumping her backpack in the chair next to her. She pulled out a purple pencil case that was bursting at the seams and turned to him expectantly. “Well?”
“Well, what?” Steve had no idea what was going on and he was sure it showed on his face. This girl would no doubt tell everyone he was an idiot.
“Show me. Your essay.”
“Oh, right.” Steve reached in his bag and pulled out a slightly mangled sheet of paper. He passed it to Robin and tried to ignore the face she made as she flattened the sheet with her hand. “Sorry,” he mumbled, looking down at his hands on the table.
“It’s okay.” 
Steve felt her shrug then she started reading, a red pen at the ready. She read it slowly, clearly taking her time, and rereading it a few times as well. The amount of red marks on his essay made Steve wonder why he’d bothered at all.
Once she was done, she put her pen down and looked at Steve, an apologetic look on her face. “Okay, Steve. Um, it’s not all bad. You have some good ideas in there, but the execution is, um, shall we say, clunky.”
Letting out a groan that earned him a glare from the librarian, Steve crossed his arms on the table and hid his head in them. “I suck, I know.”
“Do you even want to go to college?” Robin asked, her voice muffled.
Steve shrugged. He was tired of his father yelling at him about his shit grades, his lack of prospects if he didn’t get into college, even how short-sighted he had been breaking it off with the Wheeler girl. Life sucked, and now he was kinda maybe having daydreams about what it would feel like to kiss Billy Hargrove.
“Ugh,” was the answer he gave Robin, lifting his head to peer at her. “My dad won’t shut up about it, threatens to cut me off if I don’t get in somewhere. But this study thing? Not sure it’s for me, yanno. Senior year is hard enough. From what all my teachers are saying, I’ll be lucky to graduate.”
“What are you going to do then? Work for your dad?”
“Ha!” Steve scoffed. “As if the great Richard Harrington, Jr. would stoop so low as to give his dumbass son a job in his successful empire.”
“Wow, okay… well, I work at Melvald’s on the weekend and they’re looking for a delivery boy. You have a car, you should apply. Don’t tell your dad and earn your own money.”
“Why are you helping me? I mean, you seem great, don’t get me wrong, but we don’t even know each other…”
“Everyone in the school knows who you are, Steve… but I don’t know.” Robin shrugged. “You don’t seem to have many friends and you look sad a lot.”
Steve had nothing to say to that. Her assessment was almost spot on. “I have friends…” he mumbled, embarrassed.
“Middle schoolers do not count, Steve, I don’t care what they tell you to get rides everywhere.”
“How do you know about that?” Steve sat back in his chair, staring. What the hell? Who was this girl and how did she know so much about him?
“I’m in the school band, dingus. I’m as good as invisible. And I’m very observant. For example, I saw you and Billy Hargrove have a chat this morning.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. It surprised me because, last I’d heard, he was leaving you alone after he bashed your head in, last November.”
“He, um, he came to apologize for that, actually.”
“Nice. So… are you going to see him again?”
“What? What are you—no!” Steve looked around, checking to see if anyone was paying attention to them. Thankfully, the few students in the library seemed busy with their own things and they were far enough away that they wouldn’t have heard Robin. “No, it’s not like that,” he whispered furiously, inwardly shushing the little voice in his head saying that he would like it to be.
“Awww, you’re blushing… Your secret is safe with me.” Robin leaned closer and whispered, “I love a good enemies to lovers romance.”
Steve couldn’t make words, he could barely breathe, his mind stuck on a loop of ‘ whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck ’ until the bell rang, moments later, snapping him out of it. He heard someone walk in, the stomping of boots familiar as hell, and he whipped his head to look, even if he already knew. Throwing Robin a small smile, he grabbed his essay from the table and shoved it in his bag. “I have to go.”
He forced himself to walk past Hargrove on his way to the exit, nodding back when Hargrove nodded, and managed to stop himself from running all the way to his car. He sat in his BMW, shaking like a leaf, trying to get his breathing under control before the kids showed up.
*****
“What was that about, Bird?” Billy asked Robin as he sat in the chair Harrington had just vacated. He tried not to react to the residual warmth of the plastic, considering who had been sitting on it. He failed.
“Not sure yet, my sweet. Crowder asked me to help Harrington with his college essay, and, hoo boy, he needs all the help he can get.” She smiled at him. “How was your day since your little chat with our former king this morning?”
Billy groaned, low enough that the librarian didn’t hear, leaning back in the chair. “Ugh. Of course, you know about that.”
“I was literally in the parking lot, and watched the painfully awkward encounter with my own eyes when I was chaining my bike.”
“Painful is accurate.” Billy rubbed both hands over his face then looked at Robin. He knew he was lucky they’d found each other. The two resident queer secret besties.
The basketball team had had an away game a couple of weeks after Billy had arrived in Hawkins. Unlike the cheerleaders, the band traveled with them. As the new guy on the team, Billy’d been assigned the last bed available, sharing a room with the member of the marching band that no one wanted to room with. 
Robin had told him as soon as the door had closed that she knew about his crush and that he needed to be more careful. Once Billy had recovered from the shock, they’d spend the night talking, exchanging stories and tips on how to appear less queer than they actually were. On the bus back to Hawkins, they’d gone into details about their current crushes, vowing to help each other. Billy had agreed to pose as Robin’s boyfriend in front of her parents, so they’d stop asking her about gross boys, and he was able to drop Robin’s name and keep Neil off his back—about the queer thing at least.
“I asked him what you said to him, and he said you had apologized.”
“I did.” Didn’t Robin say she had witnessed the interaction?
“Uh huh, that’s great, I’m proud of you, but wha—”
“Wow, you don’t have to sound so enthusiastic…” Billy deadpanned, hearing Robin’s complete lack of interest.
“Shut up. I asked him if he was going to see you again, and he blushed. He turned bright red, in front of my eyes, my sweet.”
“And?” Billy said, confused. What was Robin getting at?
“He didn’t deny it, he looked so flustered then you walked in and he ran off.”
“Again, and?”
“I think you should go to his house and, and, do that thing you do, you know, with your eyelashes and your mouth.”
“Flirting?”
“Yes, that. Go now, while he’s still all in a state. It’s your best chance.”
“Bird…”
“Fly, my pretty, go get your love,” Robin said, and she honest to god giggled. 
Billy rolled his eyes but had no choice but to do what she said because she started shoo-ing him and the librarian was now looking in their direction. 
He parked a couple of houses down from the Harringtons’ fancy mansion and made his way to the front door, ringing the bell and waiting. No matter what Robin had said, he really didn’t think Steve would open the door. He took a slow spin, taking in the surroundings, noticing the overwhelming amount of greenery in this part of town, especially compared to Cherry Lane.
“Billy?” Steve’s shocked voice said behind him. “What, um, what are you doing here?”
Billy turned around, taking in the soft looking sweater and joggers Steve was now wearing. “I came to see you, pretty boy. Robin said you needed some help and, well, here I am.”
“You… Come in already, it’s freezing out.” 
Steve moved to let Billy in and closed the door behind him. “ You want to help me ?” His tone was saying one thing but the way his eyes swept over Billy were saying another.
Billy took the two steps separating them, crowding Steve, but not quite touching him.
“You bet, pretty boy,” he whispered in the gap between them. “In any way I can…” He let his eyes drop to Steve’s mouth before making eye contact again. This close, he could see the flakes of gold in the brown. He wondered what Steve’s chocolate eyes would look like in the early morning sunlight.
Steve’s hands were on his jaw before Billy could react as Steve pulled Billy to him, slanting their mouths together. The surprised gasp that breached Billy’s lips was all Steve needed to slide his tongue in Billy’s mouth. 
The shock of Steve making the first move only lasted a moment. Billy wasted no time pressing Steve’s body against the door, his hands reaching under the hem of his sweater. His fingers encountered warm naked skin and Billy moaned.
“Fuck, Steve…”
“Not on the first date,” Steve said with a smile, burying his hands in Billy’s hair and pressing their foreheads together.
“Could be a date,” Billy replied, sliding a thigh between Steve’s legs, his heart rate picking up speed when he felt Steve grow hard against him.
“Billy…”
Billy never thought that hearing a guy whine his name would get him hot under the collar, but today was fraught with new and unexpected experiences.
“Yeah, baby, I’m here. I’ve got you. What do you need?” he asked Steve, nibbling along Steve’s jaw, before mouthing at the column of his neck.
“You. Me. Naked. My bed.”
*****
“Billy?” Steve asked, his head resting on Billy’s chest, fingers drawing patterns along his barely visible treasure trail. Billy had gone down on him then Steve had given his first every blow job and he was pretty sure Billy had enjoyed it. He hoped Billy would let him do it again.
“Yeah?” Billy’s hand on Steve’s back didn’t stop; Steve took comfort in that.
“I… Robin said something earlier, about enemies to lovers romance and I want you to know, this isn’t an experiment for me.”
“No?” Billy’s voice was devoid of emotion and Steve didn’t like it.
“I really like you, Billy. I know what happened in November happened, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“Steve…”
“What I’m saying is, I know we can’t go out on dates, because it’s dangerous for people like us, but if you wanted, we could hang out here. Order in. Make out in the hot pool my parents installed last year.”
“I like your idea, Stevie, a lot.”
“So you’ll stay?”
Instead of answering with words, Billy flipped them over so he was on top, his hands in Steve’s hair holding him still as he licked into Steve’s mouth. Steve’s hands found Billy’s hips, helping the rolling rhythm that made them both groan and gasp. They never stopped kissing, moving against each other until they both reached their peak.
The ensuing shower to clean the mess that covered them both took so long that they ran out of hot water but they didn’t care. 
With the help of a little birdie, they’d found each other, and, well, that was worth all the cold showers in the world.
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fkinkindagauche · 2 days
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The Most Gourd-geous Pumpkin in the Patch
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I did, in fact, start a fic based on this Wiggly Wednesday. The first chapter is up on AO3 - read it here, tags/content warnings over there. Brief description - No Upside Down Omegaverse AU, explicit, Steve and Eddie meet in their mid-to-late thirties over some pumpkins.
Here's a little excerpt.
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“Hello?” a man’s voice said. Steve could hear loud music playing in the background. 
“Um, hi,” Steve said. He hadn’t prepared a spiel like he usually did when calling someone, and he froze. Amos meowed loudly.
“Are you a cat?” the man asked, laughter in his voice. “Is a cat calling me? This is wild.”
“N-no,” Steve stammered. “I mean, yes, there is a cat here, but there’s also a person. Me. Steve.”
“Ooooh,” the man said. “The plot thickens. A Steve and a cat. What’s the cat’s name?”
“Amos,” Steve replied automatically. How had this conversation gone off the rails so quickly? Amos lifted up his head at the sound of his name and meowed again.
“Anus? You named your cat anus?” the man asked, incredulous.
Steve rolled his eyes. He hadn’t anticipated how common this response would be when he chose Amos’s name, but a surprising number of people did mishear it as “anus”. “No, no. Amos. With an M as in major. Amos, like the Famous Amos cookies. Or the minor prophet in the Old Testament.”
“That makes a lot more sense,” the man said. “So, Steve and minor prophet slash cookie cat, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” 
“Um. I got a card. In my door today. From Munson’s Curiosities. About selling pumpkins.”
“You’re the pumpkin magician!” 
“Well, I don’t know about that. It’s my first time growing them.”
“Even more magical. Those have got to be the most perfect pumpkins I’ve ever seen.”
Steve felt himself blushing. Over praise of his pumpkins. What was going on? “Um, thanks?” he said. “Anyway, I wasn’t sure what you meant, by your message. Did you want to buy my pumpkins, or did you want to sell me some pumpkins?”
“Why would I need to sell you pumpkins when you’re a pumpkin magician?” the man asked. 
“The lack of punctuation on the note made the situation unclear,” Steve explained. 
“Well I feel like the context clues made it very clear,” the man interjected, though he just sounded amused, not annoyed.
“What do you want the pumpkins for?” Steve asked. 
“Need to make sure they’re going to a good home? I get it. I’m doing this Halloween-themed event in a few weeks, and I just thought they would be perfect for decorating.” 
“Hmm. Alright. You can have six,” Steve said. 
“Awesome!” the man replied, seeming genuinely enthused. “How much do you want for them?” 
“Oh, you don’t need to pay me,” Steve said awkwardly. “I just grew them for fun, and wasn’t expecting them to all survive. I don’t actually need eight pumpkins.”
“Let me at least buy you a drink or something, man.” 
Steve thought about it for a second. Did he really want to agree to getting a drink with this rather unconventional stranger? He had grown more introverted in recent years, and generally avoided potentially awkward social situations, preferring to stick with people he knew well. But he had actually been enjoying this odd conversation. “Alright, fine. I can bring the pumpkins with me, and we can meet somewhere for a drink.”
“Fantastic! You doing anything Friday night?” 
“No,” Steve was slightly embarrassed to admit. “I’m free.”
“Great. Meet me at Bobby’s at 8? I have a lot of hair, I’m hard to miss.”
Steve laughed. “Alright. Wait, what’s your name? I never asked.”
“Eddie,” the man said. “Eddie Munson.” Again, Steve felt a vague sense of recognition, like he’d heard the name before, but he couldn’t quite place where.
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arceespinkgun · 20 hours
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I'm sorry for this since I do hate how overrated he is in general, but I really wanted to make a post getting out my love for Prowl in the TF UK comics. He is just so clearly the best, most definitive version of the character in my opinion! Somehow, so many of the funniest moments from this continuity are Prowl-related and many of his quotes live rent-free in my head?! From jumping on a missile, to yelling at Jetfire in one of the Christmas specials ("You almost break the world record... FOR STANDING STILL!"), to thinking Jazz saying something will be "a piece of cake" is literal, that one time he yelled "SHUT UP!!!" at the Autobots and Decepticons and then added a tiny "please" afterward...!
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And in my opinion the funniest panel in all of the comics is a Prowl panel where he thinks Grimlock is dumb as a brick and imagines a literal brick!
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IIRC Prowl's introduction to the comics showed him trying to suggest other options than suicide when the Ark gets attacked only for Optimus to immediately ignore him, which really sets the tone for that dynamic. I was pretty surprised to see that Optimus (and later Grimlock, who is generally hilariously awful) are incredibly unstable leaders and that in almost every case I took Prowl's side in his arguments with them...?
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When I say "unstable," I really mean it
He isn't perfect, but he seemed to just want to the War to end and then stay ended from what I could tell. I kind of get the sense that a fandom in-joke about Prowl being a prick may have gotten overstated and led to Prowl actually being extremely obnoxious and immoral in things like IDW, since to me here he really came across more like a character who's justified in being irritated by how other people, normally his superiors, are acting because they're endangering others. Near the end of the comics, I really didn't like that Prowl was very much treated as being wrong for trying to get it through Grimlock's thick metal skull that Decepticons are people too? This isn't going to make sense for people who haven't read these issues, but to me it felt like Grimlock was shirking his duties as a leader and then setting Prowl up to fail to teach him a lesson the hard way, and it felt pretty cruel are overly edgy to me and not in-line with how Autobot and Decepticon dynamics were portrayed earlier. I know I'm biased, but I personally thought it was brave that Prowl stood up to Grimlock, the way Blaster had much earlier on.
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Going into these comics, I was really expecting to see a precursor to IDW Prowl or something, and I feel like I was misled! This version of the character feels almost like what IDW Prowl thought he was like. In the final annual story of this continuity, when Optimus actually apologizes for brushing Prowl off and explains that he's just been struggling emotionally (there's even a moment where it says, "Prowl gaped. Not only was he getting an apology, he was also getting an explanation," which really shows what kind of character Prowl is) and Optimus then says it's an honor to work with Prowl, I think I said "awww" out loud!!! And I thought it was hilarious that Prowl was so moved that he imagined a lump in his throat LMAO
"There's a ship fuelled and ready to life off, the assault team and medical crew are aboard. Prowl, I would be… honoured if you would join us," said Prime." And with that he extended a hand for Prowl to shake. There was a frozen moment or two before Prowl grabbed the proffered hand, pumping it. So charged with emotion was the moment, Prowl actually imagined a lump in a throat that he didn't possess!
I also thought Prowl was just as badass as he was hilarious: I loved it when Galvatron targeted Autobots including Prowl for having "mental flaws" by trying to use those to brainwash them into serving him and then Prowl's response was to just attack him and be like, "You forgot that we Autobots REPRESS our feelings!!!" Prowl was one of only three Autobots who ended up alive in the AU story "Rhythms of Darkness!" And he also once went back in time and had to relive his own destruction in order to stop Megatron, who he knocked out with a punch to the face:
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(It's Megatron possessing Snap Trap's body). This "Prime?!" "Nope—Prowl!" *punches him in the face* is such an iconic moment to me
Prowl also has a great backstory and was even a veteran before Optimus Prime was ever leader! You can read about that in my Jazz analysis post since they share a backstory. Prowl led a team who went around freeing Decepticon-controlled territories early in the War, and was one of the most dreaded Autobots! Not this is what I like—Prowl being a "terrorist" only in the eyes of the oppressors, not a civil terrorist in peacetime like in IDW! I think it's pretty likely that Prowl's type-A personality and intense sense of responsibility was probably informed a lot by his trauma on one of those early missions going so horribly wrong, since he seems to have behaved differently back then:
Prowl leaned over to Jazz. "Did we do okay?" he asked uncertainly, hoping Jazz wouldn't interpret this as weakness. As team leader, Prowl worried constantly that he would foul up, make some decision that would end up costing lives: theirs as well as others.
I think I'm not the only one who thinks sometimes having a favorite transformer who's really popular but it's only a couple of iterations that you're not interested in (nothing against TFA Prowl at all, I like him, I'm just very neutral on TFA the show), while almost nobody seems to know about the iteration you like and what you like about the character, can sometimes feel like a bit of a curse lol That's why I felt like sharing all of this!
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lullabyalikpoptarot · 24 hours
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Ateez Dynamics (San's Perspective)
Time to look into what San's perspective is for the group members. Let's take a look at his thoughts.
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Hongjoong (The Protector/5 of Swords) Now normally the 5 of Swords means conflict and arguments between the two. I mean it can happen between the two, but the keyword is controversy, so maybe Hongjoong protects him from that, because we also go the protector card, they may both do this for one another. There is a need to respect each other's boundaries. Okay, I am now being drawn back to their reading, this may help me a bit, because I am getting there could be arguments between the two that may have to do with boundaries. So, the keyword on the deck seems to be important, I respect people's boundaries and expect the same for them. I lowkey think Hongjoong may not do that at times, because he can be so protective, oh, okay, I am starting to get this. So, Hongjoong may not get why he is upset, if you go back to Hongjoong's perspective you'll see what I am talking about, the reason San is showing me why he is upset is because he crosses the line from time to time. Ah, this makes sense, this is why perspective is important ya'll lol This is where the arguments stem from, well allegedly, don't know them, but wow, fascinating stuff here.
Seonghwa (The Partners/10 of Wands) Hmm, there could be a sense of responsibility they put on themselves, they may relate in that sense. There could be a sense of responsibility he feels he has for Seonghwa, or he sees Seonghwa as someone who puts others first and carries the weight of others. I mean they both seems to be that way. Carry the weight of the team, because you have the partners here, so they are the same, a tandem, working together here. It is like they both put their friendship and members first, which carry a lot of burdens for them. So, he relates to him in that sense.
Yunho (The Benefactor/5 of Cups/The Hanged Man) He seems to see Yunho as a man who finds a way to rise to the occasion, or find a way out of a deep whole, or a dark period. He finds a way to reflect at what he lost or what he is disappointed about, work through that, and moves forward. He always takes steps forward, not backwards. He knows his value and worth and uses it for his gain. It is like he takes a step back, pauses for a bit, looks through the situation, he may take some time away to himself to gather himself, and then moves forward. I am not sure he meditates, but the one card gives me that. Anyway, he values what he brings to the team, and probably respects how he handles things. This is more how he feels about him, than the dynamic, but love seeing this. Yunho seems like such a cool dude.
Yeosang (The Angel/Queen of Swords) Okay, he is giving me that he shows more confidence and composure than I thought he had lol Why does he not give me that though? He sees him as very intellectual and very observant. He helps those in need, is a generally sweet person. He guides and protects those he cares about. He keeps his composure through all the struggles and difficulties. There is a strong confidence and belief in himself that he has. Yo, why is Yeosang so hard for me to get? This seems new to me. He did not give me this energy lol Okay, San, thanks for the new information here. He stands for his beliefs. Okay, I remember him being this way, head strong and kind of stubborn, this is ringing a bell now from other readings I did about him. He likes that he is cool, calm and collected. Not overly emotional or dramatic. He knows what he wants and sticks to it. He doesn't say much, but when he speaks it speaks volumes. Interesting
Mingi (The Dreamer/Strength) Not at all surprised by what I see. Well, the strength card is represented by Leo energy. He is a Leo. Powerful, strong, very confident, I heard loyal, okay. Very strong willed, has lots of strength to endure difficult times. He knows his power but knows not to go overboard with it. He is optimistic, hopeful, has lots of dreams, also a strong imagination. He could be very intuitive as well, and also may have vivid dreams and share that with him. He is a force to be reckon with I hear. Once again, more about his love for Mingi, but not much of the dynamic. I guess he wants to share how he feels about him lol
Wooyoung (The Initiator/Queen of Wands/7 of Swords) So, I was going to put back the 7 of swords, because it was behind the QOW's, but I kept it because I want the tea, and both cards flew out hard, they basically fell on the floor, so I am going to keep it. He definitely sees him as very passionate. He sees him as someone who goes after what he wants. He sees him as someone who takes the initiative to get what needs to be done. I felt like someone gave him the opposite energy in a dynamic reading, don't remember who though. Now with that QOW'S energy, girl, how do I say this, I mean he may see him as attractive with this energy, not going to lie. It doesn't have to be romantic thought people, not going there. I mean I see some girls as attractive, doesn't mean I date them. But he also sees him as a shining star, very charming, alluring, has a nice presentation, what that means, who knows, just channeling, but with this 7 of swords, I am getting looks can be deceiving here. So, what I am getting is he isn't what he showcases or appears to be in public, that is what this is giving me. Because the keyword in this deck for 7 of swords is deception, so yeah. I do think he likes him, he gave me more positive energy toward him than others, but he may not be as confident as he appears is what this is giving me, because the keyword for the QOW's is confidence. Interesting once again. Man, San spills the tea, love his energy and how he explains things, he takes me on a journey.
Jongho (The Lustful/6 of Wands) Once again this boy gets the lustful card, I believe he got this for Hongjoong's reading, and also doing his ideal partner reading. Boy is a playboy lol Because the keyword on the card is I embrace my sexuality as a sacred gift, boy stop, anyway. Ya'll he a Freak, okay, let me stop. Umm, yeah, I think he sees him as someone who goes after what he wants and is successful at whatever he wants to achieve. It is like he enjoys winning at all costs. Like whatever he wants he achieves. I mean this could do with potential partner, because man, the lustful card speaks volumes, like why he had to throw that one out lol
Okay, this was a fun ride. I love chatty energies like this. I can't wait to get to his perspective reading, because I know boy wants to talk, his energy is one of the stronger ones for me for that reading. I knew I would enjoy this one and he did not disappoint.
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n0bluev · 2 months
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@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo ​i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
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the-busy-ghost · 4 months
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There are many reasons my interests are more geared towards mediaeval Scotland than mediaeval England, but at least one of them has to be the fact that I am completely incapable of Being Normal about the Lion in Winter and Shakespeare's second tetralogy.
#Like I simply could not remain unbiased#Not in a 'taking sides' kind of way but more in a 'the real Henry II did not entirely resemble this fictional adaptation'#I refuse to accept it and I don't really want to#I could try very hard to research and write about Henry II sensibly- and I often do when he (or Hotspur later on) impinge on Scottish histo#But fundamentally my image of Henry II is the image of the character from the Lion in Winter#It's horrible to have to admit I'm like one of those unhinged Braveheart or Philippa Gregory people but for twelfth century England#Although with all due respect the Lion in Winter and Henry IV Part 1 are obviously twenty times better than Braveheart#There are other reasons#I kind of feel England has enough people interested in it already#I like to dip in occasionally and it's interesting to read about (and often necessary from a Scottish perspective)#But yeah for many reasons mediaeval England- though fascinating- is not my number one priority#One of the pretty big reasons is though my unfortunate fan behaviour the minute Richard II sits himself down on the ground#To tell sad stories of the death of kings#And you know what that's valid and probably acts as a useful research tool for many people#Just not for me#It's weird though because other than Shakespeare and the Lion in Winter there aren't many period dramas I particularly care for#Not only am I incredibly picky about my historical media when it comes to the Middle Ages (less so for the 20th century)#But I never really understood why people assume when you say 'I like history' you mean 'I like period dramas'#To me these are two separate unrelated activities/hobbies#Not necessarily better than each other just different
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northern-passage · 2 years
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Genuine thought as a fellow trans dude, I’ve seen a lot of (obviously non-serious) questions on other blogs about characters’ genitals such as “how does it look like?” and similar, and I think we all know & understand that such questions are extremely inappropriate to ask and (I hope) no one would actually go around asking these questions irl. Idk, I think we should treat trans characters just like cis ones, without any special “precautions”, so to normalise them and not make cis people treat them like fragile boxes, a thing which happens to a lot of us irl. Hope this doesn’t come off as an attack or anything lol.
no worries, i didn't take this as an attack at all. i actually agree with you, that's why i mentioned feeling conflicted about it and also mentioned that i've changed my stance on how i felt about handling Noel and Clementine in game and in explicit intimate scenes.
however, for me the problem comes from the fact that people... don't ask these kinds of questions about cis characters? i suppose people do get cheeky "who is the biggest 🤪" asks but i would hardly compare the two. to be a bit crude, no one is going to be asking if a cis character has a dick or not, or "what does it look like". of course it's natural for people to be curious, and i honestly encourage the open discussion and am happy to see trans bodies being talked about more in a positive way, but not everyone is going to be comfortable with it due to the inescapable transphobia online and in the community. sending me that kind of ask is like sending out an invitation for a debate or a discussion that i don't necessarily want to have. i also just don't think people should default to asking a random IF author on tumblr dot com to describe what bottom growth looks like.
and with most of these asks typically coming from someone who is anonymous, i have no way of truly knowing what the tone is, what their intentions are or why this is being asked - is it another trans person? or maybe someone who is just genuinely curious? or, more likely in my experience, is it someone who is going to immediately follow up this message with something transphobic after i answer? do i want to roll the dice and find out?
so while i agree with what you're saying, it's important to consider the context and the reality we live in. the IF community is not kind to trans people or trans characters. and as a trans person, my first priority is protecting myself and my mental health. so what i mean when i say "precautions," is that those precautions are for me, because i've had to deal with transphobic harassment here for years now, and i try to mitigate it as much as i can. it's also for my personal comfort - again, to be blunt, i'm simply just not comfortable discussing a trans character's genitals with anonymous strangers on the internet. it makes me feel vulnerable.
also i do want to say i didn't mean for any of that to come across as a dig at other authors - if you're comfortable answering those kinds of questions, that's really only something you can decide for yourself. like i said, this is just coming from my own experiences in IF and for my own personal comfort - i have previously talked a lot about trans stuff and gender and sexuality here, when i'm feeling up to it, but it is something that is very draining for me and can also be very upsetting.
basically: i do agree that it's important not to other trans characters or treat them any differently than cis characters, but i also think there are ways to do it that don't require me answering invasive questions or questions that i don't feel comfortable with as a real life trans person, you know what i mean?
#hopefully this better explains what i was trying to say#again no worries anon i've had this exact conversation before with other trans people#and it's something that i don't think has a perfect solution esp with the current... climate#and especially online with the anonymity it makes these topics really touchy. you don't know who is reading this or who is interacting#if it's sincere or in bad faith#things have changed a lot in the IF community for the better but it's still not safe and i always advocate for an author to protect#themself first#back when i started tnp it was not at all common for ppl to list characters as cis#really it was only nb or trans characters that got listed in that way#and it's why i chose not to do that and why i wanted the player to find out lea and merry was trans at the same time as the hunter#same with noel and clem and their privacy#giving them that agency was important to me#and it's still important to me now#but i got a lot of harassment because of that. the lea reveal didnt even end up in game it was on the blog and it was weeks of harassment#afterwards that still makes me anxious to this day whenever i talk about lea's transness#so basically like. it comes down to what someone is comfortable with and what they're mentally able to handle#edit: thinkin abt it more &im going to be honest if someone sent me an ask that said ‘what does it look like’ i would be very Not Happy#like cis people & cis characters do Not get treated that way so why would i allow it for my trans characters#so i stand by saying that these asks are inappropriate like. i obviously dont know the context of what ur referencing#but that’s a hard no from me personally either way#to me as a trans person that question in itself is othering and objectifying#ask#anonymous
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saeshiraw · 1 year
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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