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blainehellyes · 4 years

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Hell/Heaven

Pairing: Ethan x MC (Dr.Anika Warren)

Words: 3.5k ..I just..went off w this

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, trauma, swear words??

Author’s Note: Okay yall so idfk what this is tbh. I just had an idea and went on to write 3.5k words about it. This is my interpretation of the aftermath of ch.11. I genuinely don’t know if this makes sense or it’s just a bunch of words slammed together.

Also, I did not really proofread this so please do feel free to point out any mistakes. I’m sorry for the mistakes.

I’m scared of writing people OOC and I’m still learning so please keep it in mind.

Anyway, I did not make it two parts but it’s pretty long so yeah.

Anika’s thoughts will be in italics.

xxxx

It had been almost 16 hours since the combined diagnostics team along with her friends barged into the isolation ward and told her that they had found a cure. Eight hours since Ethan said the magic words

“Get up. There are no traces of the toxin in your body.”

She had been lightheaded, whether it was from happiness or if it was from some weird side effect she didn’t know about was up in the air. She was still a bit wobbly.

In her 29 years of living, Dr.Anika Warren had not had such a whirlwind of a day. 24 hours ago ,she was barging into the senator’s room trying to stop an assassination. She didn’t know how she got caught up in a death trap but after that it was as if her brain had recorded every single moment with perfect accuracy.The whole thing was playing in a loop , the cannister being deployed, Rafael Aveiro, superman and ultimate idiot jumping in to protect her , Danny and Bobby Gunderson’s life leaving his eyes in front of her. She had watched a lot of people pass away in her career, and each one affected her . No matter how much she wanted to get used to it. But this was different, this was a man who was talking to her about how he wanted to afford a car for his daughter’s 16th. Bobby used to greet her with a smile every day, and even with minimal interaction she had gotten close to him.

And now his daughter won’t have a father, much less a car. And it’s because you were dumb enough to jump in to the room before having backup.

She pushed the thoughts away as she wearily walked through Edenbrook’s long corridors.

Most of her friends had returned home in hopes of having some rest, but she couldn’t. Raf was still admitted, albeit not in a coma and she couldn’t just leave him. She didn’t want to leave anyway,trying to get as much done as she could to distract herself. She didn’t want to face her thoughts, which she would eventually have to when she’d go home. But for now, she was delaying the inevitable by trying to help any and every doctor she came across.

“Dr.Warren? Why are you still here?”

Esme. I love her but dear god if one more person tells me to go home I’ll start crying in the middle of the corridor.

“Uhh, I’m just finishing off some work. You should be too , Dr.Ortega. Stop interrogating people and get to work.”

Wow when did I become Ethan? That was one of the most out of character things I’ve ever said. Looks like his personality is seeping into me.

“ Um..Anika? You good? No offense but that really doesn’t sound like you. ”

Well..crap.

“Then what does it sound like, Dr.Ortega?”

“ It sounds like you’re trying to put on a tough person persona to deflect questions”

This girl is way too smart. Am I the only dumb one here with no people skills or…?

“ I just..I just don’t want to go home. And I don’t want to talk about it. Please don’t mind”

Please leave me alone please please please

Esme shrugged but the look of concern on her face wasn’t gone. “If that’s what you want then sure. Take care of yourself, I’m not the one who almost died"

With that she turned around and left.

Anika continued to make her way through the hospital. Her mind was racing with the possibilities of what could have happened. She could not stop thinking about how she trusted the senator, but most of all, one thing was repeating in her mind.

So, Ethan Ramsey, are you single?

Ethan looked at me for a brief second

"I’m sorry… But no, I’m not"

He had actually admitted his feelings on national television. Well, almost but the point still stood.

And yet it’s complicated. He’s not single but we’re not dating. What the fuck Ethan Ramsey? We doing Schrodinger dating or what?

This was her hell.

"Dr. Warren?"

This time, she wasn’t annoyed at her name being called. This time, it was more relief than frustration.

"Anika..?” Ethan’s voice hit her once again.

“Um.. Hi” she didn’t know what to say. Her face was flushed from thinking about the moment they shared after the interview, and all the subtle moments that had in the past few months.

“You’re supposed to be home. But Dr.Ortega did mention something about you not wanting to. What is it?"

Ah there it is. Damn you Esme. I mean, no but yes.

"It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it”

She tried to sound as normal and unbothered as she could. She didn’t want to even think about it, much less talk it out which would just make it much more real for her. She wanted to live in denial and pretend everything was normal for a while.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden hold on her wrist. She snapped back into reality to notice that Ethan was pulling her somewhere. It was in the general direction of his office so she presumed that much but couldn’t help protesting the sudden force.

“Wai- Wha- Where are you taking me?!”

The reply only affirmed her presumption.

“To my office, Rookie. You’re clearly not well and you need to rest and if you won’t go home I’ll make sure you rest here.”

Why is this man so stubborn? I love him but why?

They were soon in his sparsely decorated office. Everything was organised with no stray papers or journals lying around which was usually the case with most of the other offices in the hospital. Ethan sat her down on the couch and sat down beside her.

“Wait, I thought you wanted me to rest. What is this Dr.Ramsey? A plot to get me alone with you hmmm..?” She wanted to get alone with him. Ever since the confession the other night and him saying he wasn’t single, she needed some answers.

“No. I just wanted to ask you about why exactly you didn’t want to go home. Dr.Ortega told me you looked disturbed and kind of in a trance and I got worried” Ethan said with worry clearly etched onto his face

Why the hell is he so cute even when he’s worried? I’m so so in love ugh

His palm touched her face , snapping her out of her thoughts yet again. His gentle touch was something she wasn’t yet that used to, and he had been much more gentle and kind since the confession the previous night. He was acting so unlike the Ethan she knew and she had to get used to this.

“Tell me , Anika. What’s wrong? Talk to me. I’m here.”

Memories of the previous few days flooded her all at once. Her poaching the senator from MK, him intruding on the diagnostics team meetings, Travis behaving so normally that she could never in a million years imagine him being such a …. psychopath.

The phone call she overheard, her disappointment on how she trusted a politician who wanted the same things as everyone else.

She was spiralling, and she was spiralling hard. It was hard not to, she was feeling guilty. She wanted to go back and not agree to June’s idea. She wanted to undo the whole thing.

Ethan noticed her face contorting with the painful memories and he immediately took her into his arms and that was all it took for her to start sobbing.

“ I just..I feel guilty Ethan. I shouldn’t have gone to MK, I shouldn’t have followed June’s advice. I shouldn’t have trusted a politician. And most of all I shouldn’t have ran into the room like some kind of a superhero in a Hollywood movie without having proper back up”

Ethan’s face was grim. He understood the guilt over going over to MK and stealing their patient, he had been feeling it too. But he couldn’t understand the other feelings, it would be impossible to. He wanted to comfort her, let her know that she did absolutely nothing wrong but he knew his words wouldn’t matter much.

Ethan’s thoughts were interrupted by more violent sobs, she was breaking in front of him and he couldn’t take it. He hugged her tighter and whispered sweet nothings, trying to tell her that she was only trying to do something good.

“You didn’t do anything wrong Anika, you were doing your duty. You wanted to help. It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re here. ”

He wanted to comfort her and never hear her cry again.

Anika on the other hand couldn’t stop. She felt bad, she felt bad when she thought about Danny and Sienna , when she thought about Bobby Gunderson and his daughter. “ Sienna probably hates me.."

Ethan was taken aback by that comment, if he had noticed one thing about Dr.Trinh ,it was that she was someone you could absolutely trust. Her hating Anika was far fetched. ” She won’t, why would she hate you? She was so scared Anika, she was so scared that you would ….“ He couldn’t complete the sentence. He couldn’t even complete the though.

” No, Ethan. Sienna loved Danny. And..and if I hadn’t..if I hadn’t..done something so stupid..he would still be here..they had a future Ethan, they really did..“ and she broke down into another fit of sobs.

Ethan didn’t know what to do. He held her and helped her cry it out. Eventually the exhaustion hit her and she somehow fell asleep. He noticed though,that she had a fever. And was in the process of waking her up gently and giving her some medicine that the door opened.

Naveen Banerji was worried. He was worried about Rafael , the paramedic he had somehow grown close to. He was worried about Ethan , his mentee and his "son”. But most of all, he was worried about Dr.Warren. She had taken the toll of the previous days hard and as soon as he heard that she was acting unusual, he wanted to find her. He couldn’t though and decided that the best way to approach this was to ask Ethan.

He had just opened the door when he saw that Anika was with Ethan in the room, and they both looked very cosy. Ethan was in the process of giving her some kind of medication and he didn’t want to interrupt but it was clear that they had been having a moment. And Anika looked deathly pale and after listening to a concerned Dr.Ortega about how she was a walking zombie and how he should force her to take time off work and seeing it himself, he decided to actually listen to Dr.Ortega and give Anika a week off.

He silently closed the door as he did not want to interrupt and instead paged Ethan to come to his office. He not only wanted Anika to take a few days off work, he wanted Ethan to take care of her. He had never seen Ethan so happy with anybody before and it hurt him to see them push each other away. And if this was a chance for him to push Ethan towards his happiness, he would use it.

Ethan had just finished giving Anika a tablet for her temperature and let her fall asleep again when his pager beeped. He walked briskly to Naveen’s office, curious to know why he called him. It was rare, getting paged by Naveen so he was a bit nervous.

When he had entered and sat down, Naveen wasted no time in getting to the point. “ I’ve heard that Dr.Warren has been showing some trauma symptoms lately, and she has gone through a lot so I want to give her a week off” he said.

Ethan was happy, he wanted this to happen but he was confused as to why the chief had told him this .

“ Before you ask me why and how this concerns you, I want you to know that I want you to take care of her in this one week. And hence , I am giving you a whole week off too” Naveen finished with a smile on his face.

Ethan was surprised. He wanted to spend time with her, especially after his late night revelations. But taking a whole week off work was out of question. The diagnostics team would be two members down and he couldn’t let that happen.

“Naveen, that simply isn’t feasible. It’s already hard with a nurse down and a doctor down and me going would make it all the more difficult for the team.”

Naveen cut him off, he didn’t want to hear it

“ Son, just listen to me this time. I’ll take over the diagnostics team myself for the week and the workload can be handled. I want you both to take a while off and figure things out and that’s all I’ll say. Nothing you say will change this decision.”

Ethan didn’t have the heart to protest. Even though he was worried about how the team would function without two members, the fact that Naveen would take over eased him.

Besides that, he really did want to forget the world for a bit and just hold her in his arms. The endeavour the previous day had shown him how much he cared and after that , he couldn’t keep her away. He almost lost her, and in those few hours where he had to put up a brave façade for the hospital while he was breaking inside were the worst few hours in his entire life.

He didn’t know what he would do without her, just the thought of not having her jab at him randomly, do weird things just to annoy him and all of her little quirks which frustrated him to no end in the beginning which he had grown to love killed him. He needed her.

He walked through the hospital to his office to find her awake and scrolling through her phone. This comforted him a bit as she looked tranquil and didn’t have the worry on her face like earlier.

He entered the room and her face immediately lit up. This was something he would never tire of seeing , her smile. It made him feel all excited and warm.

“ Ethan! I was waiting for you!” She chirped. He loved her voice and it automatically brought an easy smile onto his face.

He sat down beside her , absentmindedly stroking her hand and started speaking.

“ Naveen has ordered both of us to take a whole week off. He wouldn’t listen to anything. " He said with a bemused smirk on his face. This whole idea of Naveen, was amusing to him. It was such an obvious attempt at getting them together that he couldn’t help but laugh at it.

” Wait what? What about the diagnostics team?! They can’t function with two members down. I mean they can but what if we get an important case?! What about my patients? What about your patients? This simply won’t-“

Ethan cut her off with a kiss. He wanted to do that for so long and looking at her get so worked up about the hospital was too cute for him to control himself.

” Oh my ,Dr.Ramsey, so forward of you. I didn’t think someone like you could do something so scandalous" Anika chuckled between kisses and Ethan was too absorbed to even take offense to the statement.

Eventually, they got up and made their way to Ethan’s apartment. Anika had to inform her flatmates , everyone looking at her with raised eyebrows except Sienna , who she couldn’t look in the eyes. She also made sure to check up on Raf and Kyra, and shed a few tears looking at them. She was glad that both of them were alright because she wouldn’t forgive herself if anything happened to anyone.

Ethan’s apartment was as she remembered, clean and monochromatic. At this point, she had visited enough for her to just walk straight in and start playing with Jenner without any hesitation. Ethan loved seeing her like this, in his home , comfortable. He couldn’t help but imagine a future where she would just live there instead of visiting.

After taking a shower ,they started working on dinner. Ethan didn’t want to make her work at all but she was adamant about helping. Watching her move across the kitchen with ease made him happy. But he didn’t forget to make her rest, as she was still weak which was evident when she lost focus suddenly and fainted. Ethan dropped his spatula into the pan and rushed to get her up. She had started to have a rise in her temperature again.

“ You can’t keep doing this Rookie , you’re sick and you’re literally working yourself to exhaustion. Now just take your medicine and relax , okay? I’ll take care of dinner.” He cooed into her ears as he lifted her up and carried her to his bed.

Anika obliged with a pout, not letting him go back without a proper kiss. She wanted him to stay but her stomach rumbling made it obvious that she needed food. And the only source of food was Ethan cooking and she had to let him go.

Her fever had subsided by the time he poked his head into the bedroom telling her that dinner was ready. She had almost fallen asleep, exhaustion taking over her but dinner was important.

I need to talk to him about the interview. And the night before. I need to talk to him about so much.

They had dinner in relative peace, having proper substantial food after all the hospital food she had eaten felt good. They were I’m easy conversation and she didn’t have the heart to bring up the topic of feelings.

He will shut down , and I don’t want him to shut down.

Only when they had completed eating and ended up in bed cuddling could she force herself to ask him.

Just do it Anika. It’s not too hard. He won’t push you away. Trust yourself.

“ Ethan?” She spoke up with a timid voice. In the hospital, she was the person who would talk back when anything was wrong or if anybody did anything questionable, but here she was out of her depth.

“ Yes?” He answered with an inquisitive tone.

“I wanted to ask you about something” she went on. “ Uh..um.. the interview when you said you weren’t single..” she took a deep breath.

Come on , just say it. Why are you so anxious?!

Ethan immediately tensed up a bit. He meant every single word he said, both in the interview and in the night that followed and yet, he didn’t know how to approach this. He was looking at her intently , waiting for her to continue when she started speaking again.

“ Yesterday night, when you talked about how you regretted keeping me away and how you wished you didn’t do it… did you mean it?” She finished, bracing for impact. She was so sure that he’d push her away yet again and they’d have to spend the rest of the week in awkwardness that his next words took her a moment to register.

“ I meant every single word , Anika” he said, bringing her closer to him. He kissed her forehead and continued. “ I meant it. All of it. You are the light in my life, my sunshine. When I saw you behind the glass, covered in that grease , my heart stopped. I had to pick myself up and put on a face for the team but I was breaking into a million pieces. Each time I failed to diagnose what was wrong , I remembered that I could lose you. And that broke me even further. There was nothing I wanted to do more than run into the room and hold you in my hands. I can’t live without you Anika, I don’t want to imagine a life without you. ”

By this point , both of them were in tears. They were hugging each other, tears flowing freely.

“ I was so scared ,Ethan. I just wanted to be in your arms. And I was scared for Raf. When you told me we had lost Danny, I realised I couldn’t lose Raf. And every moment, all I wanted was to be with you. You’re the most important thing in my life , Ethan. And I was so scared to talk to you about this, so scared that you would push me away again.”

Ethan took a sharp breath. Pushing her away after all this was impossible. He hugged her tighter , letting her cry , letting himself cry it out.

“ I won’t push you away. I won’t ever push you away. I’m all in if you are” he said, through tears.

Anika looked at him and could see a vulnerable man. She could see he was scared too, to admit his feelings and to let his walls down and she was determined to never hurt him.

�� I’m all in ,Ethan. Forever. ”

That night was one of the best nights of their lives. They just spent it cuddling and talking to each other about their dreams, their aspirations and themselves.

Ethan hadn’t felt so at ease in years. He was ready to take care of her forever. He had never imagined falling in love but now, he couldn’t imagine not being in love.

And that night , they knew that the next seven days and the rest of their lives would be amazing.

And this, was her heaven.

THANK YOU IF YOU READ TILL HERE.

Tag List? Sort of?

@drethanramslay @hatescapsicum @nooruleman @anonymously-cool @mrsbhandari @kaavyaethanramsey @apphia12 @queencarb @mvalentine @openheart12 @starrystarrytrouble

@crazynutella tagging @oofchoices @ohramsey if yall are interested

xxxx

#open heart #open heart fanfiction #dr ethan ramsey x mc #dr ethan jonah ramsey #mekh tries to write yee #dr ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey fanfiction #playchoices #open heart second year

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green-eyed-whumpster · 4 years

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My OC Universe: Rowan 118

Chapter 118 Summary: Rowan has another nightmare and Peter helps soothe him. (Tags: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @much-ado-about-whumping, @abitefullofeverything, @whump-me-all-night-long, @sky-or-something-idfk and @tears-and-lilies)

Trigger Warnings: PTSD whumpee, nightmares, mild self harm

When did I even begin feeling this way? Rowan glanced over at Peter as he lay in bed, head covered with a pillow he dragged over himself during sleep. Why couldn’t I be warned of this? Whatever it is. I don’t know if it even is love – but it’s maybe the closest thing I’ve ever experienced.

He restrained himself from moving over and doing what he had done with Cordelia. In hindsight it was an awful and creepy thing to do. He cringed at the thought of it.

They had heard from Cordelia, wishing them a merry Christmas, she left a message for Peter wondering how Rowan was faring now that she had left, and had also sent a pair of soft leather boots for him, which was good because his current ones were beginning to wear out. They had been made for work at the castle, where the smooth floors and clean surfaces wouldn’t erode them quickly, and the rougher wood floors and rocks outside were harsher on their soft soles.

He was grateful she hadn’t mentioned the incident to Peter, he didn’t know how he would face that embarrassment if Peter looked at him after knowing that. Especially now knowing how he felt about his friend. Part of him wondered if he should even mention it to Peter.

Peter woke up a few hours after Rowan fell asleep, he couldn’t explain why, he was perfectly warm, and he felt safe, and he didn’t have to go to the bathroom. It was odd.

He got his answer a few minutes later when Rowan began whimpering and thrashing in his sleep. It was painful to listen to the pained squeaks that broke from his lips as he twitched under the covers. Peter carefully slid out of his own bed and approached his bed silently, Olivia looked over to him, eyes wide and alert as he stood beside her, and he rested a hand on her head soothingly as he leaned over his head.

Rowan’s hands lifted to his face and Peter watched his skin dimple as his nails dug into the flesh and dragged down his tear-soaked cheeks, whining in fear and pain as his body curled up tightly into a ball.

“No! N…no…please!”

Peter couldn’t handle seeing Rowan in such pain anymore and placed his other hand cautiously on the boy’s scalp, smoothing his hair softly to try and avoid startling him awake. It was damp with sweat and tangled in Peter’s fingers as he tried to stroke it.

“Rowan,” He said gently. “Hey, hey buddy, wake up, please,” Rowan’s eyes startled open, bulging out of his skull before recognising Peter and calming down.

“Peter,” He gasped weakly, lifting his hands to wipe his cheeks. “Did-did I wake you?”

“No, no, it’s all right,” Peter soothed, removing his hand from Olivia to carefully brush the tears from his eyes. “Were you having a nightmare?” Rowan nodded as his eyes glassed up again.

“I’m sorry,” He whimpered, sniffling. “I’m sorry,” He didn’t seem to have anything else to say as he pulled himself up and Peter embraced him.

“Don’t apologise,” He said gently. “Was it a bad nightmare?” Rowan nodded against Peter’s shoulder and tightened his hands instinctively. “Do you want some company to help you go back to sleep?”

Yes.

No.

I-I don’t want to embarrass myself again.

“I-I don’t think there’s room.” He didn’t want to have to make a decision, he wanted to force Peter to determine an answer.

“I can fix that,” Peter released him and stood up, Rowan watched as he moved back to his own bed and crouched, grabbing the bedframe firmly before pulling it back. Rowan watched in surprise as Peter pushed his bed against Rowan’s and looked at him once more.

“Does this work?” He asked and Rowan looked from the bed back to him.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” He asked nervously and Peter nodded.

“Now you can have some space but won’t be so isolated, well, of course you aren’t alone,” Peter said and glanced at Olivia. “I’ll be here if you need me, now,” He finally answered, climbing back into bed and looking at Rowan through tired eyes. “Are you feeling all right?” He asked looking at Rowan – who was flushing violently at Peter’s closeness.

“I-yes, thank you,” He smiled slightly, and Peter nodded, gently helping Rowan lie back down and making sure his eyes were dry.

“We’ll keep him safe, won’t we, Olivia?” He said as he settled down beside Rowan.

“I know you will,” The boy murmured, and Peter looked over, proud of Rowan’s trust in him.

“Don’t worry,” He cooed, inching over and laying an arm carefully over his chest to secure him. “No one will touch you while I’m around.”

There was silence for a few minutes, Rowan kept thinking about how the weight on his chest was physical now, and not just a figment of his imagination. Peter smelled different, usually he smelt like wood shavings, pine needles and smoke, but since he had been inside for so long, he began smelling like the soap he used for the dishes and freshly washed fabric, and still smoke.

“Would you like to tell me about your nightmare?” Peter asked heavily, his eyes were closed but Rowan knew he was still paying attention.

“Do you think it could help?” He asked weakly. He also knew Peter wouldn’t suggest it unless he was trying to console him.

“You’re so tightly shut up; you would probably benefit from a little venting.” Peter reasoned.

“Maybe,” Rowan breathed.

“You don’t have to if it would make you uncomfortable,” Peter replied and rolled onto his back, his arm moving to gently grip Rowan’s bicep, ensuring contact remained despite moving.

“I’d like to, it’s just, they’re really weird.” Rowan said gently. “Like, they don’t make sense,”

“Dreams rarely do,”

“That’s true,” Rowan hesitated for a moment before shifting slightly closer to Peter, a hand resting over the one he held his arm with.

“I-I don’t know why, but we were sitting at a big table,” He began softly. “William was beside me, and even though I was in a chair he made me lean against him like I was sitting on the arm of his chair. I don’t know who else was there, but I recognised them all, you know? And it felt like, there was this weight on my chest, and it was so hard to breathe I couldn’t even speak.” His breaths became shallower at just the memory and Peter sat up, turning to watch Rowan as he spoke, thumb grazing Rowan’s hand soothingly. “Um, and I-I couldn’t move, and breathing was so hard, and these people were all talking about me, and they wanted to send me somewhere – I don’t-I don’t remember where, but it just…I was so afraid that all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe anymore, and I kept trying to get them to help, or endear to William, but they all just laughed at me and ignored me!” Rowan gasped as he finished and moved his hands to his chest to feel his lungs wheeze beneath them.

“I’m so sorry, Row,” Peter said gently, cupping his cheek and stroking the skin with his thumb.

“It-I don’t understand why I was so scared!” Rowan whimpered, tears spilling over his lashes and dripping down his temples. “It wasn’t even that bad!”

“You were placed in a situation in which you were powerless,” Peter sighed, inching closer. “That’s the most terrifying thing in the world, being powerless. And being unable to breathe, as well, no wonder you were affected by that.” Rowan nodded weakly as Peter’s hand stroked his skin and sniffed.

“Thanks, Peter,” He whispered, and Peter smiled in reply. “I feel…I feel bad when I think of William. I don’t know if I believe that he’s just, dead. There wasn’t any fanfare…it doesn’t feel real.”

“Cordelia would tell us if he was alive. You can’t let him steal any more of your life than he has already.” Peter said firmly, grabbing Rowan’s shoulder. “The bastard got what he deserved. And he isn’t allowed to ruin you anymore, all right?” Rowan nodded obediently and Peter smiled. “Good, are you feeling any better?” Rowan nodded again and swallowed the lump of tears in his throat.

“Yeah, thank you,” He murmured, and Peter squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. Rowan froze as Peter leaned closer to him, face looming inches away from his. Rowan slammed his eyes shut in anticipation and waited for whatever Peter was going to do, heart pounding out of his chest as he felt Peter’s breath rolling over his cheeks.

What is he doing? Is he going to kiss me?

Rowan paused as he felt Peter’s lips on his skin and waited, the kiss wasn’t where he was expecting it, and he was almost relieved under his disappointment. But of course Peter would kiss his forehead, it was such a caring action. Something a parent would do to soothe a child.

He was disappointed when the lips left his brow and cautiously opened his eyes, seeing Peter lean back and smile at him softly.

“You’ll be all right,” He said encouragingly. “If I can’t be there, Olivia will be, but I won’t make any efforts to leave you alone.” Rowan nodded as he lay down again, hand lingering on Rowan. To stop him from taking away the contact Rowan lifted his arms and wrapped them awkwardly around the one on his chest.

“Do you mind if I just…hold this?” He asked, glancing over.

“Of course not,” Peter replied, finally allowing his eyes to drift closed again. “Do whatever you’d like, I’m here now,”

Rowan flushed red hot as Peter settled in to sleep with his arm clutched in Rowan’s, fingers absentmindedly clutching passively at his skin in a weary attempt to soothe him. It was working.

#whump #medieval whump #my writing #oc #Rowan #Peter #Olivia #PTSD whumpee #PTSD dream #nightmares #therapy animal #comfort #forehead kiss

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creepypasta-matchups · 4 years

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OMG a creepypasta match up?!! ON GoD i swear!!! This brings back so much memories.anyways idk if your requests are open or closed, if they are closed PLEASE ignore this.

Anywho if they aren’t um hi. Name’s V I’m a pansexual 5’2” ambiverted ENTJ-A Aries and I go by she/they.I have a light considerate amount of melanin because i’m filipino and i have either very straight hair or wavy/cury hair there’s no in between. People tend to notice my smile/laugh since i tend to do that pretty often in public.

Personality: Um, I'm pretty hot headed and get very irritated very easily. I despise getting purposely provoked and If i do i will not hesitate to hit them or just throw something at them. Cuz well..they get on my nerves. Either that I just get irritated easily and will yell at that person if I'm not in the mood to talk which is kind of often since I like my alone time. Despite getting irritated easily, I don't really like starting fights or conflicts unless absolutely necessary. Because I can either be obnoxiously loud or mysteriously quiet some people find that fairly intimidating about me...idfk how or why? I’m actually nice and will try to strike up a conversation. (random side note about my personality in public i tend to be loud and stuff while at home or just not out in public i can be seen as someone who prefers to be left alone and not talked to despite having guest over)

Hobbies/Things i like/dislike: I do track and field (i’m a thrower). I did martial arts for at least more than two years. I'm just a green belt. Anyways IRRELEVANT um i play violin/piano. I like to listen to different genres of music (don’t really do well with modern day country songs…). I like spicy foods (I have a pretty high spice tolerance) and I like people who I can genuinely vibe with and they’re not clingy. I like people who can make me laugh and make dark jokes with or just really stupid jokes i.e. bee on a chair….yeah it’s wild. Anyways I HATE centipedes and because of my childhood I'm terrified of ladybugs. That’s kind of it. Thanks <33

Requests are open!!! I don’t think I’ve had enough people to close them, but this has been the biggest day for requests!

Anyways, onto the matchup!

Puppeteer/Johnathan Blake

Let’s be honest, first impressions—he’s gonna get hit. He enjoys messing with people! But, he’ll learn when to actually come around and talk with an apology gift that isn’t creepy (probably just some spicy hot chocolate, which I believe is called Mexican hot chocolate? Correct me if I am wrong).

That’s when he learns you’re not just mean and easy to irritate, which while he finds entertaining—he can find that entertainment anywhere. This though? He liked.

He wasn’t intimidated so much as he thought of this as a challenge, but either way, that did change.

He’s not much of a runner since he’s basically like a ghost, but he will 100% make dark humor jokes with you. Although, if it is dumb enough, he will laugh.

He likes to go out to places and just do dumb things that are funny, and sometimes slightly dangerous. He doesn’t realize that though, since he is dead.

100% will trip anyone being an asshole to you with his strings. He’s been known to use them for things other than creepy real people puppets.

His spice tolerance is high, since he is dead. He will ask you for spicy foods to prank others though.

Prank people with him with said spicy foods and he will be happy. Either way though, he will replace your spicy foods.

Also string instrument? The violin especially? Sign him up he is going to watch you practice with a smile. He will recount music he’s heard in the world before as you take breaks from playing.

Also he will, jokingly, offer his strings for you to play on like a violin. He’s probably tell you that they were all e strings, or he may even call them “forbidden b string” when doing this.

Clingy a problem? Well, this isn’t a problem with him as he does have to go out a lot and he tends to do what he does solo, even to a partner he really trusts. It’s destressing for him and he needs alone time too.

Him getting actually, visibly irritated is rare—but even during those times he won’t snap at you and anything playfully dumb or just messing with you jokingly will make him happy again.

Also since he is taller than you, he will make short jokes to tease you. Expect pet names to, things like doll and buttercup. Call him one too and he’ll be dramatic about it and fake a tad bit of disdain to try and get you to say it more. He likes pet names going both ways.

Master of doing hair, he works with his hands and strings to de-stress, so he will be easy to get to do your hair pretty well. It will look pretty, whether it is short or long. He will consider this quality time that isn’t exactly trouble to planning an actual date.

Actual dates may be cheesy though since he hasn’t been in the dating booth in many, many years. He only has learned from little bit. He will make sure you are treated well, though. He does care about you after all. Just maybe not as showy about it in public.

Alone is a whole other story as he is dead and touch-starved, so, a lot of cuddles and hugs. He’s a touchy PDA person in private. In public he can’t be seen, and he just generally keeps a small distance anyway in public—an old habit of his that’ll be hard to break.

I hope you like it! It’s late so many no more requests for the night. I will answer any more tomorrow though.

Edit: fixing some errors and adding a bit because I wrote this really late last night when I shouldn’t have.

#puppeteer #creepypasta matchup #Creepypasta #matchup

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oscar-mildes · 5 years

Note

elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it

#asks #nev you asked for this #oversharing??? me??? never #lgbt stuff #im gay yall

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hanniiesuckle17 · 6 years

Text

Human

A/n: Again not requested but I wanted to do it. Requests are open btw!

WARNINGS: swearing, bangchan being freaking swoon worthy

Member: Bangchan ft. Seungmin (and obviously a couple other members)

Summary: Your friend (we are just gonna call her Irene idfk) had this huge crush on your brother's friend, who you didn't really know that well but you were really chill with everyone and you agreed to help her. Over time you slowly inch yourselves into your brothers friend group, but what happens when feelings go different ways.

Genre: student au, school au, dancer reader!au, fluff, angst towards the end.

Get ready. This is about to be long. Part 2?

(Also I honestly should be writing my next chapter for my fic on quotev or doing hw but I'm doing this instead. Love that.)

_________________________________________

"He is just so cool! Why won't you help me?" Your friend Irene pleaded from her spot on your bed. I lay on my bedroom floor with my legs propped up against the wall. Her long hair fell off the side of my bed as I looked over at my bestfriend since fourth grade.

"I don't even know him!" She sighed, clearly distraught. "He's friends with your little brother, right?" I scoffed. My brother Jeongin had immediately befriended the boy whomst our conversation was about. The boy in question was a senior exchange student at our school named Bangchan, but my brother only referred to him as Chan. "How the hell am I supposed to get him to-" "I'll buy you sushi from the corner store every friday."

"Really?" I flipped over to send her an intense stare. "Really." Irene returned the look with a smile. "Every other day." She looked up in thought, probably imagining her wallet screaming. "Deal!" I scooted over and we did our bestfriend handshake.

"YAH! YANG JEONGIN!" I screamed at my little brother, causing Irene to laugh beside me. "WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?" My brother yelled from what what sounded like downstairs. I heard laughter as well which meant he probably had a couple of the boys over. I motioned for Irene to follow downstairs.

Before we could finish descending the staircase, I stopped in my tracks, causing Irene to bump into me. "Y/n what the hell-- Oh." I could practically hear the smirk in her voice. He sat in my living room looking ironically perfect. The boy who I had painstakingly had a crush on since the fourth grade. My brother sat with him and our friend Jisung on the couch. I still don't understand why he affects me this much. I hang out with him, Jisung, my brother, and our friend Felix all the time.

"Oh, hey Y/n!" Kim Seungmin said with a smile that cause his eyes to crinkle on the sides. "Uh- I- Hi!" Something about him caused me to turn from my usual cool character into a lovesick little girl. The worst part was I didn't mind. "Did you want something, noona?" My brother asked, grabbing my attention again.

"Oh. Yeah, are you guys going to practice tonight?" Seungmin, Felix, and his friend Changbin were all on the football team. The boys would go to all the games and practices to support them and occasionally I would come along (for the view). They nodded and told us they were leaving in about ten minutes. "You mind if we tag along?" Jisung quickly agreed with me and said he would drive us.

"Great! We'll be back in a sec!" I quickly shoved Irene back up the stairs and tossed her a pair of my jeans before trading out my sweatpants for another pair of denim pants. "Why are we going to the practice again?" I threw on a crop top and a light oversized jean jacket. "All of the boys go to support the team. Also I would like an excuse to stare at Seungmin without anyone finding out that I think he is hotter than Minho thinks his reflection is." She chuckled and grabbed a crop hoodie from my closet, knowing I was used to her borrowing my clothes.

The two of us rushed downstairs and got into Jisung's jeep, which he and I often went off roading in after a heavy rain. As we got out of the car, Seungmin came to walk beside me. While he had to leave to get changed, we followed the other boys up into the bleachers and to a pair of boys I vaguely recognized sitting in the middle of the risers. While my brother and Jisung sat next to them, Irene and I sat on the riser below them.

"Chan, Woojin you remember my sister." I looked at the boy my brother identified as Chan and immediately realized why Irene was so infatuated by him as he shook my hand. He was obviously older than us, most likely a fourth year, yet he had this youthful glow about him. He had a bright smile with a cute pair of dimples and fluffy dirty blonde hair. "I'm Y/n and this is my friend, Irene." He smiled at me, his dimples showing as he greeted the both of us. The six of talked as we waited for the team to come out.

"That is the worst name you could possibly have in a high school!" Bangchan laughed. "I'm not lying! My Pre-Cal teacher's name actually is Mrs. Head!" I tried to convince them through laughs that I was indeed telling the truth. "No way!" Irene wiped a tear from her cheek, smiling ear to ear. "The worst part about it is that she's a mouth breather too." With that Jisung laughed so hard he fell backwards between the riser and the ground, effectively causing his butt to become stuck. Everyone but my brother couldn't stop laughing. He just look at us in confusion.

"I don't get it." Jisung leant up about to whisper in my brother's ear. "Hey! Let's save some of his innocence." Chan breathed out between laughs. The coach's whistle sounded and the team came out. We all cheered, but the rest of the group soon went back to their conversation. I however was fixated on player number Six, Seungmin.

"Yeah! Go, Seungmin!" I shouted after he caught a pass from Changbin in a scrimmage down field. I thought I felt someone looking at me, but when I turned all I saw was Bangchan who was watching Irene and Woojin talk about choir. Shrugging it off, I went back to watching the practice.

The coach signaled the team to go in about an hour and a half later, and by then we were the only people left in the stands. My friends moved to the back of the bleachers to wait for our other friends, but I stayed and walked to the fence that lead to the field. Immediatley I spotted Seungmin as he ran towards me taking off his helmet, a huge smile across his face. "Hey, Mr. All Star." I said as he reached me, wrapping and arm around me over the waist high fence. "What's up, Twinkle Toes?"

I blushed at his nickname for me. Ever since he found out I studied ballet, he has held the only girly thing about me over my head for the past four years. I looked down as he laughed at my reaction, blush creeping to my cheeks. "Wait for me?" I nodded and he jogged off to the locker rooms.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I walked back to my friends. As I rounded the corner I saw Felix and Changbin were already with everyone. As soon as he saw me he screamed, "Y/N!" The blonde boy sprinted towards me, lifting me over his shoulder and spinning me in circles. "FELIX IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW I WILL SCRATCH OFF EACH OF YOUR FRECKLES WITH THE REMAINDER OF YOUR GAME CONSOLE!" He laughed, placing me with two feet on the ground.

His smile disappeared when he pulled away and saw the scowl still on my face. "Oh shit. Are you really mad at me?" I smacked him upside the head and broke into a smile. "Ehhh! I knew it! Honorary Aussie Activate!" We high fived each other and screamed, "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE, OI OI OI!"

Everyone except for probably Chan and Woojin ignored the two of us, used to our relationship. Soon Seungmin joined us and we all stood outside the stadium talking. With the night getting later, a cool breeze started to blow and I started to shiver. "Are you cold?" Chan asked. I shook my head no, but felt something being put around my shoulders. I turned to see Seungmin next to me wrapping his Letterman around my shoulders.

I blushed and pulled the fabric closer to my body. Far too soon, it was getting close to Jisung's curfew and he was our ride, therefore we all went our separate ways and headed home. When we dropped her off, Irene pulled me aside and said, "Do you think you could maybe hang out with Bangchan a little more and get some info for me?" I shrugged. He seemed like a pretty cool guy anyway. She smiled and kissed my cheek telling me to text her tomorrow morning.

I got back in my spot up front with Jisung and he drove us back to our house. Before I could get out of the car, Jisung stopped me. I turned to find him tapping his turned cheek. "I want a goodbye like Irene!" He whined. "You want to know how a girl kisses?" His eyes went wide for a second and then the sophomore vigorously nodded. I could see my brother shift in the backseat. I grabbed his cheek and gave it a long wet lick. "EWWWW Y/N!" He wiped his cheek with his sleeve as Jeongin and I laughed.

"Bye, Jisung!" I called back as we entered the house. Going up to my room, I changed into pjs and got ready for bed. Before I could get under the covers, my phone dinged with a notification. Picking up the device from my night stand, I opened Messenger.

UNKNOWN: hiii🙂 umm it's Chan! Ur brother gave me ur number

Y/n: Um Heyy! Why did you need my number?

Channie: Well u see I have this project for my musical composition class that deals with mixing two art forms that dont normally mix. And Jeongin told me u do ballet. I was wondering if u could help me?😅🙏

He was literally making free sushi the easiest thing ever. He would finish his project, Irene could get her info. It was a Win, Win, and Free Sushi for Y/n!

Y/n: Yeah! Sure! When do you want to meet?

Channie: Is tomorrow during eighth too soon😅

Y/n: nope! I can do that!

Channie: great! U r a life saver!

I smiled thinking this was going to be easier than I thought. I climbed into bed and looked at the Letterman on my desk. After hesitation, I got up and slipped the jacket on before climbing back into bed, and I honestly was not ashamed that I slept in that shit.

_________________________________________

At the beginning of eighth period the next day, I went to the room Chan texted me with my shoes in hand not knowing what to expect. To my surprise he had just asked me to meet in the choir room. Bangchan sat at the piano with a laptop sitting atop the instrument. He played a few chords and then jotted something down on a notepad next to him. "Knock, knock?" He turned at my voice and smiled, his dimples appearing in a cute way. "Look at you coming prepared, shoes and everything!" I laughed and sat next to him when he motioned me to.

"So, I kind of told you what this was about last night." The boy with messy blonde hair and headphones around his neck said. "For my senior project I wanted to try and mix a rap/hip hop/EDM track with ballet choreography. I thought that might make a really cool visual representation on what the project is about." I nodded as I followed along with the older boy's thought process.

"The problem is I am just terrible at classical music, I mean I've had classical training and I took a few ballet classes when I was young, but I just know the bare minimum and that I absolutely cannot do the splits." My mind pictured Chan in one of my classes, my instructor telling him to push his long ass legs down into the splits and I couldn't help but laugh. "Anyway, I was just hoping you could help me adjust the music so it would be easier to choreograph for ballet and maybe dance to it as well....hopefully. You want to listen?" I nodded and he took the headphones around his neck and placed them over my ears, chuckling when they fell down a little too low.

His long fingers reached over and pressed play on the laptop and a soft electronic beat filled my ears. My eyes closed as I listened to the track. It wasn't what I expected it to be based on how he described his idea. It was incredibly complex, but nonetheless pleasant to the ear. My fingers tapped out the beat on my leg and I could kind of see where he was going to add in lyrics or where he might add a bass drop, or switch to the underbelly track. When the song ended, I removed the headphones and looked at the boy next to me.

He smiled and asked if I wanted to listen to it again. I nodded and went to put on my shoes while he switched out the headphones for a wireless headset. Moving to a clear space in the room, Chan started his track again and I just let my feet do what was natural and remembered the beats that could be changed. I kept my movements small so not to go full out in the tiny space. I marked places where I thought maybe a saut de chat or lift might work. As the second bass dropped I tried doing a fuete keeping my feet en pointe and straight. I could feel Chan's eyes on me, but I focused on marking the rest of the song.

Coming down from my toes, I slid the headset from my ears and went to stand in front of the fourth year boy. "I think I can help you." He beamed up at me excited for the project ahead.

A few months had passed and I had spent most of my time with Bangchan working on his project. Most days I could be found in the choir room with him, or at his house in his makeshift recording studio (i.e. his mother's basement). I spent most of my free time with Bangchan whether we were working or not. Usually Chan and I spent free nights on his bedroom floor watching some show he found or hanging out with Jisung and Felix at the diner near my house. I hadn't heard from Irene in weeks. And to be honest, I hadn't noticed she didn't call.

Chan slowly began to replace her as my bestfriend. Nights in with her became afternoons out with him. Morning calls from Irene turned into late night calls from Chan waiting for the sun to come up. He even became my new source for Kim Seungmin problems and how to solve them.

Although, I hadn't heard from Seungmin lately either. It wasn't unusual. This time of the year he usually hid away and focused on his studies so he could still play on the team. I almost forgot what my life was like before I saw Chan every day after school.

It was the friday before the last away game for our school and I arrived early to the choir room to meet Bangchan. He texted me saying that he had almost finished the lyrics for the track so, I decided to come early and set his things up for him. His laptop was set on the piano and both our notebooks were on the bench. I rolled up the hem of my jeans and took off my sneakers. All of a sudden the door burst open and the room was filled with the sound of giggling and hushed whispers. My head shot towards the door and I froze at the sight.

"Y/n?" Seungmin pushed away the girl whose lips were attacking his neck. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen. My brain screamed for me to run, but my muscles wouldn't move. I tried to keep from bursting into tears at the sight of him with someone else. The girl turned and seeing her face felt like a thousand blows to the stomach. "Oh. Hi, Y/n." Irene.

I wanted to say something. I wanted to scream. My eyes burned as I tried to keep back the tears. Seungmin just stared at me jaw slack. Silent. I couldn't hide the pain on my face and Irene scoffed. "Please, you know he never liked you." Something about her small smile didn't allow me to turn away. "It's only fair."

I couldn't take it anymore. My bare feet pushed myself away from the room. If I didn't leave now I would be stuck there; a prisoner of my own heart and mind. I ran down the hall tears finally spilling over and clouding my vision. My body collided with someone's chest and the force sent my already shaky legs tumbling to the floor. "Y/n?" I hid my face and scrambled to my feet. Can't I just get out of here? "Wait! Y/n!" The person yelled after me.

I let my feet carry me as fast as they could, not caring where. My hands reached for the nearest door and finally found a place of solitude. I placed my hands on the wall and tried to brace my shaking hands and legs. Crying wasn't something I was ashamed of. I was just hurt and embarrassed. My chest started to feel tight and there was a pain in my forehead. I tried to focus through the tears to see I was in the empty boys locker room. With shaking hands I placed a hand on my chest as the room started to tilt and spin.

I couldn't breathe.

I stumbled through the locker room and my head started to spin. My hands found a metal knob and I desperately turned it feeling the tiniest bit of relief when the ice cold water hit my skin. The tile wall was the only thing holding me up as the freezing water drenched my hair and clothes. I couldn't stop thinking about them. What she said. How she was right. How I didn't understand. My legs finally gave out and I collapsed onto the floor trying to take deep breaths through the sobs. I clutched my head trying to relieve the pain I felt there. I wanted to scream. I wanted to keep crying but it hurt to do so. My head slowly lowered itself to my knees and I tried to make myself as small as possible. The harsh feel of the water left red marks on my skin as I tried to stifle my cries.

A pair of arms tried to wrap themselves around me, but I struggled against them shouting to leave me be. After awhile, I felt nothing. I looked up to see Bangchan sitting in front of me, letting the cold water fall onto him. His hair and shirt had already drowned in the water. He just looked at me with almost recognition through his wet blonde locks.

"Don't look at me." I managed to say through broken sobs. "Why?"He cocked his head trying to find a way to make contact with my E/c eyes. My mind struggled to find an answer that made sense.

"I-I don't want you to see me break." "Bullshit." His harsh words shocked me and made me jump back a little. He could see his outburst wasn't the right thing to do. "Y/n did you expect him to run in here and apologize for breaking your heart?"

"No, but-"

"This is what heartbreak feels like. It is a literal and figurative battle in every sense of the word. The thing is....." He struggled to find the right words, he himself knowing he could accidentally set me off in my fragile state. My body had started to shiver from the water, but my face still felt the hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

"It's not glorious. It's not beautiful, and it's definitely not heroic because we can't even save ourselves from how we feel. The thing is you are going to get your heart broken again and again and again. I can promise you that. It is the one sure thing in life. It's going to happen until you look like this."

Drops of water fell onto his skin, as he held my gaze. "One day it isn't going to hurt anymore and you will be able to wear your battles proudly on your sleeve. And it won't be because some guy came and rescued you."

He paused a moment letting me process what he said. The sound of the water hitting the tile echoed throughout the room.

"Heartbreak just means we are human."

After a couple minutes of silence I realized he was done speaking and looked up at him. All he did was gently wrap an arm around my waist and pull me into his chest. His fingers tangled themselves in my wet hair and he held me against his body, which felt safe and warm. He traced soothing patterns into the skin on my side to calm my sobs.

Bangchan didn't try to get up. He knew I wasn't ready. He simply let me sit in his arms and be human for a fleeting moment.

Part 2

Masterlist

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atomheartson · 6 years

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I was tagged by @watching-the-fire-dance ... 4 months ago.

Basically answer the qs then write 11 of your own.

How are you feeling today ?

Pretty good but IDK. We went to Portsmouth to see the historic dockyard (HMS victory, Warrior and stuff) it was pretty cool and I'm basically a boat nerd or something so yeah that was good.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go and what would you do ?

um I'm really into history so this is difficult. Like I'd love to see ancient Rome, Egypt and Greece but also I'd love to see like early Pink Floyd live so I really can't decide? If I went to like a historic city I'd just wander around and see what was going down, yanno (I assume I also get tardis like translation powers lol)? If it were Floyd I'd freak the fuck out.

Nobody is watching, what do you do ?

Dance around with the stereo on loud, duh. Also talk to myself about dumb shit and sing along to stuff. Am I insane? Probably.

With which celebrity would you like to spend the rest of your life with and why ?

Like as a friend? Probably someone really witty like Stephen Fry I guess, to entertain me.

As a lover? Idfk Alexa Chung or Ellie from Wolf Alice maybe. I've never been into celebrity crushes tbh.

If you could only listen to one album which one would that be and why ?

This one physically hurts. mm possibly Meddle for Echoes and the other songs on it are really nice but genuinely like I'm missing out on so many nice songs and that's horrible.

Not being able to listen to the wall or tame impala or the Beatles or OMG there are so many.

What kind of superpower would you like to have ?

I'm a sneaky shit so invisibility maybe. Flying would be cool but I'm an Aerospace engineer so I'd just be making my own inventions useless to me.

My friend once said "Super Reading"! Possibly the weakest super power ever. Enjoy the journey, man. Chill out.

What is your favourite movie ?

I have a few I love: submarine, the wall, live at Pompeii (if that counts). But I just love trainspotting so much. I ended up reading all the books about Rentboy and the others so yeah.

What kind of jewelry or other accessories do you like ?

Personally I'd like to wear like mystic looking necklaces (eye of Horus, ankh, Nordic runes and stuff) and I really want a signet ring but I'm not brave enough. I think hoop earings are really cool on other people but TBH it's all cool. I always wear a watch and sometimes I wear my glasses though I also use contacts.

What are your favourite flowers ?

The ones that look like guys with their diks out lol. But seriously I've never really been into types of flowers (society told me men don't like flowers) but I think they're really pretty and if anyone has any recommendations?

Would you like to be someone else ? If yes, who and why ?

Yeah... IDK but yeah. Maybe Alexa Chung, she just seems happy idk

Is there anything else you’d like to talk about ? (You can pour your heart out here if you like to get something of your chest or ignore this one ;) )

I'd love to talk more! You seem really cool and I'm sorry I took so long to do this A-ha. (Auto-correct but I love Take on me so I'm leaving it)

My questions are:

Would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?

If you could visit any city, which would it be and what would you get up to?

What's your favourite accent?

Black band shirt or white band shirt?

Do you have a favourite poet? If you do you absolutely have to show me a poem (if that's cool with you)

What's your favourite cheesy pop song? (I won't judge ;) )

Favourite book?

What's your go to alcoholic beverage (if you have one, if not like just name a softdrink you approve of)?

Sweet or salty popcorn?

What's your favourite hot drink?

If you could have a [insert favourite hot drink here] and a chat with any celebrity or historical figure, Who would it be and why?

I tag @atomhearthippie , @cizza @thunderstormez and whoever else would like to join in. Only do it if you wanna.

#asks

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roman-reigns-princess · 7 years

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Cat & Mouse (Roman Reigns): Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Read it on Wattpad Writing Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, smut(ish?), Alpha!Roman, Idk what else needs a warning, teasing(??), snarky!Lyra (she’s gettin real annoyed w/ Roman’s internal conflict, and she’s annoyed w/ seth cause idk man siblings fight)

Word Count: 1831 (this turned out a lil bit longer than I thought it would)

A/N: I’m sorry this chapter is trash, finals got me being like 50 shades of writers block. But we gon get Naomi and The Usos next chapter! (hopefully, idfk what my brain is doing anymore) I hope y’all enjoy this chapter, idk it’s annoying tf outta me but I can’t fix it aka im lazy.

Tag List (if anyone wants to be added, let me know): @m-a-t-91 @mrsamberlopezgoodanoai@simulated-heat @greatbreadwizard @hoodgirl163 @sabrina-the-champ @thiickreigns @alexahood21@ii-love-roman-reigns @queenreignsempire @flawlessglamazon @not-that-kinda-gurl08 @x-fivefoot @finnbalorsdemonqueen @romanempirefics @rocketgirl2410 @sausagefest1996 @vebner37@macfizzle @cute-face-chubby-waist @wwefoever70 @horcruxhunter5972

She wriggled around in his arms until she found a position she liked, not that any position that involved her on top of Roman could ever be uncomfortable, but she wanted to tell Naomi about this, and she certainly couldn’t have Roman looking at her phone. While it may be a long journey for Roman, it was going to be a fun ride for her.

By the time they reached the hotel near their next venue it was nearly 2am, everyone was more than a little tired and irritable, and it certainly didn't help that it was raining. So it was no surprise that Lyra and Seth managed to pick a fight with each other. Seth had opened the trunk and a bag had fallen out, startling everyone.

"That better not be my makeup, Seth, or you're gonna have to replace anything that gets fucked up," Lyra snapped at her brother as she got out of the car, Roman following her closely.

"Watch your tone, it's not your shit anyways," Seth shot back, holding up one of Roman's bags.

"Whatever," she said, reaching to grab her own bags out of the trunk. She grabbed her suitcase and pulled it out, but in doing so she knocked against Seth.

"What the fuck is a your problem tonight," he glared at her, Roman and Dean gave each other a look, knowing they'd probably have to keep the siblings apart for the next few days.

"My problem? That was an accident, you're the one being a little dick," she snarled, before Seth could reply, Roman grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

"I think y'all are just a little too tired and cranky, and just need some time away from each other," Roman pointed out as he picked up Lyra's remaining bag. "Lyra, you can stay with me for tonight."

"I don't need you to sort my shit out, Reigns, I can fight my own damn battles," she bit back, taking her bag from him before she headed inside to check in. Roman rolled his eyes, got his own things, and followed her in, leaving Seth and Dean to get their bags.

Neither Roman nor Lyra said anything to each other as they made their way to their room. Once they were in the room, she dumped her things by one of the beds, dug out a pair of boxers and a black tank top, and headed straight for the bathroom to take a hot shower and relax.

Turning the heat all the way up, she let the scorching water wash over her, and clear her head for fifteen minutes. She groaned to herself as she got out of the shower; she knew she'd been a complete bitch to Roman, and now she needed to figure out a way to apologize to him. Drying herself off, she slipped on her clothes, and wrapped her hair up in the towel.

"Shower's all yours," she mumbled, not meeting Roman's eyes as she walked over to her bed. She took out her hair dryer as she heard the shower come on. She spent nearly twenty minutes, mindlessly drying her hair, trying to think of a way to apologize.

When she finally set it down, she could hear Roman using the hotel's dryer in the bathroom, meaning he would come out soon and go to bed, and she wanted to clear the air before either of them went to sleep. Knowing Roman could be just as stubborn as she was, she decided to sit on his bed so that he wouldn't be able to brush her off.

She grabbed her phone before hopping onto Roman's bed so that she could text Naomi and let her know what had happened that night. She explained the situation to her friend, hoping she could help.

Naomi: Did you really say that to him??

Lyra: I know I know, it was stupid, but I'm tired and Seth had me all cranky. Help me!! What do I do to make it better?

Naomi: Girl, I'm sorry, you're on your own, idk how to help :/

Lyra: You're dating his cousin!! You gotta have SOME ideas, what do you do when Jimmy gets mad?

Naomi: I usually just cook him his fave food, and...well I'm not gonna go into details, but like I don't think you can do that with Roman.

Lyra: Urgh, fine fine, I'll figure this out on my own.

Naomi: Sorry girl, I wish I could help more.

She was so focused on texting that the sound of Roman clearing his throat made her jump. She looked up to see him standing in front of her; for a huge, 6'3" man he sure knew how to keep uncharacteristically quiet when he wanted to.

She gulped as she stared up at him; he was standing there, completely shirtless, in black shorts, with his hair up in a loose bun; she had to will her blush away, she'd seen him shirtless plenty of times, but she always ended up blushing.

"You lose your way or something?" He asked, raising an eyebrow; Lyra had to bite back an equally sarcastic response as she stood and moved out of his way.

"I, uh, I just wanna say I'm sorry for being a snappy bitch earlier, you were just tryna help and I was an asshole," she said, rubbing the back of her neck. She looked up at him to see his expression had softened. "And, um, thanks for switching rooms even after I said that."

"Well can't have you and Seth blowing up at each other and fuckin up another room," he said, giving her a smile, he reached out to pull her into a hug; she couldn't help but bury her face in his chest, his scent was soothing and exhilarating all at once. "Apology accepted, I'm sure I'll find a way for you to make it up to me."

"I can think of plenty of ways to make it up to you," she said, looking up at him as she lightly dragged her nails down his chest.

"Oh yeah?" He said, smirking down at her as he pushed her back until her legs hit the bed and she fell onto it, her phone slipping from her fingers; she stared up at him with raised eyebrows, before a gleeful smile crossed her face when he crawled between her legs. "Y'know, not many people have the guts to be that snappy with their Alpha even when they're mad as fuck."

"Who said you're my Alpha?" She shot back without thinking it through; she bit her lip when she felt a growl rumble through his chest, his brown eyes adopting a faint silvery glow.

"I said so," he growled, his right hand grabbed her hair and yanked her head roughly to the side, making her gasp, she wasn't going to admit it to him but nothing turned her on more than when Roman was rough and dominating.

His other hand was slowly pushing up her tank top, his fingers exploring her skin with agonizingly slow motions that sent sparks through her body. His eyes were glowing a bright silver as his head dipped to her neck; his lips were soft, contrasting with his scruff tickling her skin.

She wound her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her, and almost subconsciously spread her legs further apart when she felt him pressing against her through his shorts. She found it hard to keep her thoughts in order as he started to suck a mark on the side of her throat.

"You, uh, you don't get to dictate that, you, uhm, if you want, oh fuck," she moaned as she felt him nip at the sensitive spot, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to make her freeze. "R-Roman? Ro', w-what're you doing?"

Although she wanted nothing more than to have him claim her, she didn't think Roman would be too happy if his wolf made that decision on his own, but with his body pinning her down, there wasn't much she could do to stop him. She tried tugging his hair to get him to look at her, but only succeeded in making him moan into her neck, and grind his hips against hers which further weakened her resolve to stop him.

She trailed her fingers up his back, enjoying the feeling of his muscles shifting beneath them. She tried saying something again but Roman shut her up with a hand over her mouth. She whimpered against it as she felt his other hand slowly slip into her boxers.

What little determination she had left, dissolved when she felt his long, calloused fingers squeezing her smooth ass hard enough to bruise as he pulled her against his grinding hips. She ran her hands down his chest, letting one rest on his tattoos while the other reached for his shorts.

Roman had started kissing his way down to her chest when a shrill PING from her phone had him jerking away with an animalistic snarl. Lyra cursed herself for not silencing her phone as Roman pulled his hands away and stood up, a guilty look gracing his face.

"Uhm, we should probably go to sleep, not together, like separately I mean, fuck, I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened," he rambled, his, now brown, eyes avoiding hers as he stepped aside to let her pass. She stood up, adjusted her top, and snatched her phone off his bed, but instead of going over to her bed like she knew he wanted, she stood facing him with her arms crossed. "Please just go to bed, we're both tired, that's it."

"Really? We're not gonna talk about this?" She retorted, trying not to sound exasperated; he fixed her with a look that told her that they definitely weren't going to talk about it anytime soon. "I'm not a child, you can't just send me to bed when you don't wanna deal with me."

"Watch me," was all he said before scooping her up, walked over to he bed, and dumped her on it, all the while ignoring her protests. "Now, we're going to go to sleep in our respective beds, and tomorrow we're going to be traveling with my cousins, and you'll room with Naomi."

Had she not been as annoyed at him, she would've found his commanding voice hotter than she did at that moment. Instead she stuck her tongue out at him, then turned away with a huff, not caring that that was kind of an immature move.

She heard Roman growl behind her, but chose to ignore him. She could feel him still standing by her bed as she reached to charge her phone, as if he wanted to say something; part of her hoped he would just so she could be petty and ignore him, but she was disappointed once again as she heard him sigh and walk away.

As she lay in her bed, she scrolled through her phone one last time to check what had interrupted them, only to find that it was a spam email. Muttering to herself in annoyance, she silenced her phone and set it down on the nightstand before pulling the covers up around her. If there was such a thing as angry sleep, that's what she was going to be doing that night.

#Roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns fic #roman reigns smut #wwe smut #wwe fanfiction #roman reigns fanfic #my writing #my post #cat & mouse

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francel · 7 years

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rambling;

i have nothing good to post, so i thought it might be fun to compile some answers to various ffxiv- and rp-related memes and questionnaires i’ve done on my private accounts! please enjoy my screaming.

8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

i wish i was handsome and suave like all my characters thanks

13. What’s something you’ve never thought about your character?

a certain someone recently decided to remind me that francel's house has no bathroom... and i had honestly never considered, in two whole years of playing him, where he goes to pee?

"do you mean poop" francel is a delicate maiden i will not consider this

(we figure there’s probably an outhouse... somewhere...)

3. What’s something that surprises you about your canon?

Wiltswys: You think me cold? Well, fie on what you think! I wanted something better than tilling salty fields and spilling small fry out the nets, and occasionally taking a passing sailor into my bed for more o' the same!

LISTEN THIS IS THE MOST VULGAR LINE IN THE GAME I SWEAR TO GOD

i have done this quest at least... 4 or 5 times now and it never fails to make me scream. and every time i do it i have to zoom in on her and look at her face because she is a really cute roe girl, so i wonder what her taste in sailors is...

19. Give me an appearance-related headcanon of your choice.

LAUGHS OK hmm what have i never said before...

i have definitely mentioned that i don’t think francel likes his appearance very much — he especially wishes he had lighter-colored eyes like stephanivien and aurvael...

i personally want to think that chlodebaimt looked very different from francel BUT, although i have never datamined the necrose knight (i really should), a friend of mine took screenshots and his eyes at least look like francel's eyes

...but they might very well have just used a generic house haillenarte knight model for that, so who knows what chlodebaimt looked like?

i also like to think that baurendouin (francel's father) persists in the belief that his youngest son will do great things because he at least superficially resembles driancoin de haillenarte (the haillenarte founder you see in the haldrath flashback scene). i mean, i doubt portraits of driancoin survived or anything, given the nondescript statues of thordan's knights, but i’m sure comments about him did?

"he was fair of face and fair of hair" idfk some shit like that

5. What do you hate about your canon?

i am always, ALWAYS so tired of hearing people complain about how “no one ever” treats the wol like they’re “a normal person” ah, yes no one no one ever has treated you nicely never mind the fact that people regularly apologize for turning to you in their hours of need, and for asking you to kill things, and you usually just dismiss their applogy no one!!! has ever!! been nice!! to the wol!! i know the entire arc of my francel writing career has been bitching about similar things but at least i find new ways to do it

ok wait i have to vent more about how people still persist in the NO ONE WAS NICE TO THE WOL BUT HAURCHEFAAANT!!!!! delusion like tataru fucking made you clothes recently IS THAT NOT THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF LOVE? YOU'VE FINALLY BEEN REWARDED WITH SOMETHING PHYSICAL AND TANGIBLE!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!!

24. What’s a song that reminds you of your character?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B7VKiJhU_s “Dear Jack,” by Jack’s Mannequin.

lately, i’ve been listening to this... i don't like every part of this song, but lyrically, it is such a perfect francel song

dear jack, i write you as a friend dear jack, i write for fear the end is coming soon to you it's not so clear it's clear to me it's clear as glass

dear jack, wherever you are, hold tight wherever he is, shine light right there be strong i dare

i had songs for you i had all your music written out the words came when i heard you screaming i had plans for you until the plans fell through now there is no turning back, my dear jack

11. Something you like to look at.

i have complicated feelings about haurchefant these days, but sometimes i go and look at this mug and cry about his handwriting

like from a lore perspective i know he can't be writing in english because they write in eorzean but until then, my friend...

14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get in the specific mindset?

yes! but it depends on the character. for ramza... i either read shakespeare (for real — i have lifted quotes wholesale from hamlet and the tempest) and/or listen to "rather be" by clean bandit? seriously, that is my most strong ramza association... which is weird because the song and the game are like 20 years apart? or i listen to the FFT ost...

for francel i have a whole playlist, but most importantly i either go on twitter and look at wolchefant fanart or read bad wolchefant fanfic on ao3... (don’t judge me; it keeps the bitterness alive)

18. Is there anything you really wish you could do that you feel is outside your current ability? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

UMMM... hmmmmmmm...

i dont know... i don’t really think any plots are outside of my current ability, but i admire my friends for being so consistent and on the ball with their dignified prose? i can be dignified too, but at some point i'll crash and start writing intensely silly tags

i would like to do more plots where francel is a badass for whatever reason, but that’s just wish fulfillment

17. Which character is the easiest to write? Why do you think that is?

francel is the easiest to write because he has the ugliest emotions

ramza is the hardest because he is always so virtuous

everyone else has varying levels of self control, but with francel i can usually succumb to base impulse reactions. i like his unguarded nature...

6. When writing a character, do you find it easier to work on their external or internal ticks first? oh, internal, definitely. i think my tags suffer from the fact that i often don’t describe what my characters are doing or what is around them? just... just assume on my behalf lmao.... so IF FRANCEL IS CAUGHT UP IN INTERNAL TL;DR there's a 90% chance he's doing that kicked-puppy stare at the floor

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? XIV, hard mode: no Haurchefant/WoL.

LMAO THAT HARD MODE...

xiv's fandom has rarely "ruined" pairings for me, as in "i liked them before but i hate them now solely because of fandom"... that said, i think i kind of liked the idea of zephirin and aymeric as a rivalry ship, but i hate when fandom takes the "oMG ZEPH RAPED AYMERIC WHEN HE WAS HELD CAPTIVE" route...

i think this perception of zephirin as this horrible awful evil man comes from the fact that the information on the ward happened after the game was released, so... in the span of time between "zephirin killed haurchefant" and "wait actually zephirin is a virtuous man," people formed their opinions, you know?

but it's still really annoying, and to some degree the misconception persists...

i was also okay with guydelot and sanson at first, but i’m a little annoyed by them now, too... it’s not for any particular reason — i just think the fandom is annoying in the "THEY'RE SOOO MARRIED!! EVEN THE OTHER QUEST NPCS SAY THEY'RE LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE!! THEY’RE SO CANON!!!" way and i’m like Please Shut Up. that said, i guess it’s mostly jealousy because none of my pairings are ever canon, but whatever...

so i guess i'm going with zephirin/aymeric, guydelot/sanson... and oh btw like. urianger/moenbryda to a degree? i remember when the wind-up moenbryda item came out and the english item description was like "you don't want to know what urianger did to this" or something like that, like, i just took it as — like urianger probably dressed it up in a little maid outfit and had it serve him tea or something equally otaku-like?

but the entire fandom was like OMG HE JERKED OFF TO IT OR USED IT AS A SEX DOLL OR SOMETHING and i was like ... okay. like if that's how you're determined to see it, fine, but fandom always takes the worst possible interpretation of something i swear to god

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

LAUGHS WELL I GUESS MY USUAL TIRADE: i don't think of haurchefant as the perfect cinnamon roll angel and actually he annoys me a little...

my friend just finished running coerthas quests on her balmung alt and like... even she commented on how brusque and condescending he seems to francel? and she has no reason to be tainted by my perception of him, it's just... it’s just that he is brusque and condescending.

back when i liked haurchefant/francel, i told myself that it was just how he acted in the heat of the moment and i was sure he was gentler later... but now we’ve seen so much of haurchefant that from the way he treats francel it really feels more to me like francel was just a friend of convenience. i don’t know. i’m bitter. maybe i’m just bitter because it’s easier to cope that way.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

um... well, i think everyone in the ffxiv fandom also agrees that the fandom is annoying...

something i sometimes worry about, but which is not exclusive to ffxiv, is like... people who rp wind up with such a different impression of things than people who just play the game?

i'm not judging either side on this but... i have rp friends, and i observe the rp community on tumblr/balmung, and i also have friends that are just gamers? and you know, like. sometimes rpers get carried away and invent all these narratives, like i know some tumblr rpers had a bunch of "plots" where a murder mystery happened in ishgard and it was all full of like noble OCs and intrigue or something?

but my gamer friends will sometimes be like, “ishgard is so boring.” so they... see it differently? you wind up viewing the game differently based on what you do in it.

there's also the divide between the english version of the game and the rest of the world, which i bitch about a lot but

just as an example, in english the nobles of ishgard are kind of broadly characterized as being unintelligent and shallow and foppish, whereas the other versions of the game really take a much more neutral approach?

or well i can really only speak for the japanese, but in general the german and french versions of the game are loyal to the japanese, however, 2.0 content was often based on the english...

so, for example, 2.0 content was EN->FR, but ever since 3.0 most of the patches have been JP->EN/DE/FR

however, the EN version continues to make changes, whereas DE and FR don't really change many things!

so i worry a lot about the different perceptions people have of the game, and what that means, like, when i write fanfic...

does my interpretation of coerthas align with other peoples' interpretations of coerthas? probably not. that’s something that’s deeply distressing, as a writer and as someone who prefers to have control, but i don’t know...

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen...

STARES INTO THE VOID it's it's too late for any of this

2 years ago i would have told you without hesitation that i wanted haurchefant to be alive and for him and francel to have eloped together, but now i just...

i've learned to play with the cards i've been dealt

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pninaharchive · 7 years

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Just one number? What if you answered them all? It will take a while, but time is just an illusion.

LMAO luv a challenge thank u 💐 read more bc it got long obviously

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

ahh okay well i think about who i am as a person and whether im good or bad and recently in my reflections i realized that i have control issues?? and how to work with that is confusing to me but

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

no lol

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

no unless it was interfering with our relationship somehow?

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

yes and no?? i dont really trust a lot of people but im very optimistic and idealistic and so i never assume the worst of people. like if someone lied to me i prob wouldnt assume so unless it was glaringly obvious

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

sleeping lmao

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

this would never happen in my life oh my god i plan too much to not have a dd and a charged phone w access to a gps

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

break up w the person and prob not talk to them again

8: Are you close with your dad?

no i dont talk to him

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

i havent kissed anyone since 8th grade

10: What are you listening to?

currently im watching ink master in the background but in terms of music ive been playing big thief’s masterpiece and diiv’s is the is are

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

water lmao

12: Do you like hickeys?

ive never had one so idk for sure but the idea of it isnt super appealing to me

13: What time do you go to bed?

anywhere between like 11 pm to????? 3 am but usually closer to 11 bc i cant sleep in

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

every man in my life

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

no not at all im so bad at 1 handed texting

16: Do you always answer your texts?

no LMAO unless its my mom or abby

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

i dont know that ive ever fallen before

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

an hour ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

abby and angel and my bunny

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

i dont remember i think i was thinking about tattoos

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

my brother

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

no there are plenty of shitty people who are doing just fine

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

noooooo way

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

no im kinda fine with the people i choose not to speak to

25: In the past week, have you cried?

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

black

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

my last name is 9 letters long absolutely not

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

29: Do you have a best friend?

ya abby lmao love that bitch

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

no. see #9

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

angel

32: Are you mad at anyone?

always

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

see #30

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

see #33. probably 19 or 20 idk

35: How many more days until your birthday?

345

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

yes!!! im going to maine with my mom and her gf and abby soon and me and abby are gonna tear it up the rest of the summer.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

i have no male friends currently

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

never

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

i dont think so

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

yes lmao see #34

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

absolutely especially when either of the people is below 20 or so

42: Are you available?

emotionally, romantically, and sexually yes

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

i feel like i feel strongly for most people i meet im not really a casual person

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

i kind of want to get my other nostril pierced??? other than that i think medusa piercings are really pretty

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

if both of the people are emotionally mature enough definitely

46: Do you regret anything?

most things

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

um ive been thinking abt my chronic illness lol bc i dont think im actively bleeding internally anymore but wondering how much blood ive lost bc ive been really exhausted and i think it might be anemia

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

every one except the ones i currently have

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

yes like see #40

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

i dont like anyone currently i wish i did

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

no oh my god see #49

53: What was the last thing you ate?

i just had some pasta

54: Did you get any compliments today?

i think someone said they liked my shoes

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

maine!!!

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

probably but i couldnt tell u for sure my dude

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

rhode island

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

sunday

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

no has anybody

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

no has anybody

62: Who do you text the most?

abby i guess?? i dont really text that much

63: What was the last movie you saw?

i watched young frankenstein but ive seen that before

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

dont have a gf

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

none lmao i was in like 7th grade

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

idfk see #52

67: Do you curse around your parents?

yeah

68: Are you happy with where you live?

not really i wish i was on my own in like europe or some shit

69: Picture of yourself?

check out my insta boiii

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

i think it depends on the other person?? i could be open to either i think

71: Have you ever been dumped?

72: What do you most like about making out?

passion

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

lets play a game called how many ways can i say im a virgin

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

i feel like this set of questions has something against me

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

i like!! tummies and legs

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

my mom probably

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

gOD

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

aoidsfkfkl

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

ummmmmmmm honest compliments and affection

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

probably not right now bc im not ready or interested in kids but maybe someday

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

a couple people

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

not usually but i havent had a crush in a long time

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

what the fuck

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

prom last year

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

olive is my boo

86: How can I win your heart?

ugghgh idk openness and honesty, passion, similar interests, buying me flowers

87: What is your astrological sign?

gemini!!

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping

89: Do you cook?

yes i love cooking!!

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

yes im such a fucking romantic

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

i think im a monogamous person but im?? also really flexible depending on the other person

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

idk im not picky ugh just

cute

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

a new laptop and purse, money, cute gf

95: Are you a player?

no im a pussy and also i love women

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

no god

97: Are you a tease?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

yes

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

yes omg definitely

101: Hugs or Kisses?

kisses!!!!

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

absolutely

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

gross

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

only if im interested in them tbh

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

no this hypothetical person sounds like a dick

106: Do you flirt a lot?

107: Your last kiss?

see #66

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

no its like every question is about kissing

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

asdfghj

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

barbie ferreira :((((((((((

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

no that would be too convenient

112: Does someone like you currently?

not that i know of

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

nope

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

who could say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#answered #this took so long im so sleepy #Anonymous

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green-eyed-whumpster · 4 years

Text

My OC Universe: Rowan 74

Chapter 74 Summary: The next morning Rowan confronts Cordelia about what she said the night before. (Tagture: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @much-ado-about-whumping, @abitefullofeverything, @whump-me-all-night-long, @sky-or-something-idfk and @tears-and-lilies)

Trigger Warnings: Reference to previous abuse and character death (Ooh noo)

It felt different when Rowan woke up the next morning, the bed was warmer than the others had been. Cordelia had tucked him into the painfully familiar bed and layered on more blankets and quilts until it was heavy on his form. It was comforting, though, like being hugged at all times. And without having to face whoever was hugging you and waiting for what they wanted in return for the comfort.

He poked his head out from the cocoon he had curled up in and found Cordelia-or Peter’s bed empty. He didn’t want to get up if he wasn’t supposed to, he knew Cordelia had told him he was allowed to do what he wished now, but he didn’t want to risk upsetting her. Eventually the urge to go to the bathroom roused him from his haven and he nervously opened the door to the bedroom, peaking out to the main room of the house. He couldn’t see Cordelia or Peter, and tiptoed into the lounge. “Good morning,” He let out a cry of surprise and turned on the voice, Peter’s eyebrows furrowed slightly in worry but he continued to smile at the boy, cupping a heavy clay mug in his hands. “I’m sorry, did I frighten you?” He asked as Rowan hesitantly relaxed in front of him. “Ah, no-no, sorry,” He murmured. “You don’t need to apologise to me, Rowan,” Peter replied softly. “Would you like a cup of tea?” Black with lemon and plenty of honey. Sticky sweetness clinging to the back of my throat. Bitter tea. Sour tingling on my tongue. Why can’t you ever decide what flavour you want? “Yes, please.” I hate lemon and honey. I hate tea. “Come and sit down, Cordelia just went to get some eggs so I can make breakfast.” Rowan tentatively stepped towards the rough dining table and sliding into the chair furthest from Peter. “How would you like it?” Rowan looked up curiously and met Peter’s sympathetic gaze. “What?” “How would you like your tea?” Peter asked again and Rowan paused. “I-um…” He trailed off as he tried to think, racking his brain for some combination that he might like. “How about this,” Peter put down his mug and moved towards Rowan, watching as he stiffened at his approach. “Here,” He put down a sugar bowl and a jug of milk in the middle of the table and smiled at him. “You can make it yourself.” Sugar, not honey. Maybe milk would be nice. “Thank you,” Rowan whispered and Peter nodded. “Of course, help yourself.” He put down a mug of black tea close to Rowan, but not too close, and moved back over to the wood stove. The door opened and Rowan’s head jerked to it, a sharp pain throb momentarily in his head from moving so quickly, but gone by the time he recognised Cordelia as the intruder. “Oh, hey, Rowan,” She smiled, closing the door behind her and shutting out the thundering rain. “You’re just in time, Peter’s making breakfast,” At that word there was a sizzle by Peter and Rowan’s head turned again, seeing the frying pan that had been heating up on the stove. As Cordelia moved towards the bench Rowan could see glints of raindrops slipping down her hair, soaking into her coat or dropping to the floor silently.

She sat down adjacent to him and took up her own mug of tea that was laying abandoned on the surface. “Are you hungry?” Cordelia asked and he glanced at her through his lashes. “Yes,” He murmured and she moved the sugar and milk towards him. “Here, breakfast won’t be too long,” She watched as he spooned a bit of sugar into his tea and poured in plenty of milk, stirring it obsessively as he listened to the bacon in the frypan spitting. You lied to me. “Cordelia, I overcooked your eggs,” Peter said apologetically as he placed a plate in front of her. “But I figured you’d rather have overcooked eggs than have to go outside again.” He grinned as she pouted at it. “I bet you did it on purpose,” She scowled at him and Peter chuckled. “I haven’t cooked you breakfast in years.” He replied as her lips twitched up. “Always full of excuses.” She grumbled, picking up a butterknife. “You guys eat up, I’m going to get some more wood for the fire.” Peter said and moved towards the door. Rowan realised there was a plate within reach of him, most probably for him. As he reached for it he heard the door close behind Peter and Cordelia turned to look at him. “Are you all right?” She asked and he turned to look at her out of the corner of his eye. “Why did you lie to me?” He asked and watched as her face screwed up in confusion. “I don’t understand,” She said cautiously and he finally faced her. “You told me Oliver was alive.” Her face fell as he revealed what he meant. “Were you listening to our conversation last night?” She asked and he nodded. “I got up when I first heard you guys getting upset.” He said flatly. “Why did you lie to me?” “It…it was easier,” She began uncomfortably, shifting in her seat. “I had to get you out of the castle. And I thought it would be easier for you to just know that he was alive. I couldn’t have you getting worked up or alerting any servants or guards that we were there.” “It was easier…to make me think my only friend was dead?” He asked thickly, tears welling in his eyes as he processed the words. He was hoping she would deny it, say that she was lying to Peter just to make her point. But she didn’t. “No, Rowan, it’s not like that –“ “What’s it supposed to be like?” He asked angrily. “You…you lied to me! To get me to do what you wanted! You’re just like William!” He threw himself to his feet as his chest tightened and she quickly rose to join him. “No, Rowan, please. Please just let me explain,” She said stepping towards him. “How could you lie to me like that?” Rowan demanded as tears spilled over his pale cheeks and she shook her head. “Please, if anyone had found you then you would have lost your chance at freedom, and Marie’s entire plan would have been overthrown. I had to think of the greater good.” She whispered as he backed away from her. “And I thought it would have been easier for you if you thought he was alive. I thought it would be better for you if you didn’t know he was dead. I’m sorry, I swear I thought I was doing what was best.” She took a careful step towards him, watching for any movement that would indicate he was about to run.

The way a hunter would look at a cornered animal.

Maybe that’s all he was. “But Matilda…it’s all my fault!” He whimpered, curling his hands over his mouth. “Why would they have killed Oliver? I-I…you were right! I wish I didn’t know!” His chest ached heavily as she approached him, close enough for her to embrace him gently. “I’m so sorry, Rowan,” She said softly. “I should have told you.” He sobbed as he cuddled his face into her collarbone, leaning gratefully into the embrace. “No, you were right,” He hiccupped against her chest. “It was probably better that I didn’t know.” I know people die, I know they die all the time. I know there’s nothing I could do to change it. But, it wasn’t fair that they killed Oliver. “It’s all right,” Cordelia whispered, rubbing his back comfortingly. “Trust me, soon everything will be all right. You can live a normal life here, and Peter will protect you.” She promised. “I know,” He sniffled softly. “Eventually.”

#whump #medieval whump #my writing #oc #Rowan #Cordelia #Peter #PTSD whumpee #Mention of death

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sophiehadder-blog · 7 years

Note

sotou u know u want it

1) Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?

lol i dont think either of them would rock it, theyd be too busy looking out over everything like fucking sentimental assholes

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?

i?? dont?? know??? neither???? theyre so boring??? (like tbh its more likely to be sophie but even then????)

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

oh its totally sophie who’s more into baths but its never for sexy time, its like chill as hell though

4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

um? wow i feel like they both have too much of an #image for this to be a thing? idk? I mean like its acceptable for lou to walk around without a shirt so like, him? I guess?

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

sophie, i still maintain that it’s always sophie who does this, she feels so bad

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

um. lou? Mr photographer man?

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

oh sophie would probably blurt it out first, but lou is toooootally the one who pulls that card in arguments. i know your technique lou

8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?

oh soph would wear lou’s pulls like all the time. her favourite’s the yellow one.

9) Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

oh wow i mean out of the two of them its prooooobably sophie who’d wake lou up, but like it’d have to be a fuckin /great/ dream. as for nightmares i think lou has sophie beat for that one, poor guy has shit luck. but sophie would absolutely sing him back to sleep, itd be really shit singing but itd be all french songs deff

10) Who is more likely to cheat?

..neither? idk man?

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

hmmmmmmm honestly idfk theyd switch off probably. depends on the day.

12) Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

a very daring sophie tbh. though realistically lou’s gonna win that fight

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

oh sophie aaabsolutely initiates the duets and idk who’s the better singer its probably lou honestly just cause soph really is awful

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

oh lou starts the hand-holding without a doubt. butt grabbing probs isn’t really a thing? the arm around the waist though is definitely soph cause like there’s only so much she can reach and consequently she’d probably also do the belt loops. again though, thats a daring sophie

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

tttbh i bet drunk sophie could give lou a run for his money, but like not by much. and soph’s probably louder

17) Who is more protective?

lou, without a doubt

18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

umm idk man sophie? probably? it sounds like a weird thing she’d do

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

they switch? probably?

20) Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

again this is sophie, she’d totally fall asleep in his lap, she’s such a sucker for things like this.

21) Who cuts the others hair?

soph cuts her own hair and she’d probably offer to cut lou’s but like would he say yes??? probably not??

22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

sophie is awful at sexting, but p god at encouraging messages, though i bet lou would be too

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

oh that is so so so so sophie like without a doubt. like we’ve already proven that she always thinks that she’s messing up so is anyone surprised? this is basically already the thread we’ve got

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?

well soph can’t hold lou above the ground so that answers that. and theeeeen they’d probably be p even on the dancing part cause like its sappy and seems totally right up their alley

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

lou probably. but like, drunk lou

26) Who kissed first?

uuuuuuh?? sophie?

27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

um i feel like the takeout at 2 is a collective decision buuuut maybe soph would wake up lou for the water thing? partly cause she feels like she could get away with it, but realistically she just wouldn’t

28) Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?

oh man they’re such fucking artsy people that i bet this has to happen at some point, right? idk though

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

um. neither of them, i think? they’re both p cautious, though arguably lou less so but thats a circumstance thing....

30) Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

does lou have glasses? he seems like the type who has glasses? either way if he wore them soph would think theyre super cute cause like they are. whereas if sophie wears glasses she just looks like grandma and its terrifying

#ask game #sotou #Anonymous

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